Archive of Our Own ^beta

The first thing Jack noticed when he woke up, was a bright light. At first he thought maybe it was heaven, or, given his track record with this kind of thing, hell. It didn't take long for his eyes to adjust, however, and realise that it was just the ceiling light above him.

The second thing he noticed was the smell. It wasn't necessarily a bad smell, but it wasn't a normal one either. It smelt of medicine and anti-bacterial substances, not something he was particularly used to, but he was still able to deduce that he was in a hospital.

The third thing, however, was what shocked him the most. He turned his head to the side, and his eyes widened as he took in the sleeping form of Chief Daniel Sousa. He was slumped over in a chair, head resting in his hand. Jack had half a mind to make fun of him for the light snores that were escaping his mouth, but decided he didn't want to wake him. He just looked so peaceful when he slept.

Jack didn't think about what it meant that Sousa had fallen asleep at his beside waiting for him to wake up. It he went too far down that rabbit hole he'd never return. Instead, he took the time to think back to the events that had gotten him here. He didn't remember much, the last thing he could recall was packing in his hotel room, about to leave for his flight back to New York. He remembered getting the phone call that Peggy wouldn't be coming back with him, and he remembered that the call was cut short by a knocking at his door, but that was it. What had happened to him?

He didn't have much time to linger over that question, as the door to his hospital room opened and a woman in a nurses uniform stepped in.

"Oh," She said, a surprised look on her face, "You're awake, fantastic!" She smiled widely, walking over to Jack's bedside.

"Yeah I am," Jack said, voice hoarse from lack of use, "But he's not," He gestured towards Sousa, "Could you keep it down a little?"

The woman turned around to look at Sousa before turning back to Jack, "Are you sure you don't want me to wake him? He's been here for days I think he'd like to know you're awake and, by the looks of things alright."

Jack's brain short-circuited at that. Days? Why had he been here for days?

"Um," He mumbled, trying to connect his brain to his mouth again, "No, let him sleep a little longer, doesn't seem like I'm going anywhere, right." He joked, and the woman chuckled.

"Very well. I should go and get the doctor though, to do an official examination," She said, turning to leave the room before Jack grabbed her hand to stop her.

"Wait," He said, a little too loudly since he was trying to let Sousa stay asleep, "Um, could you hold off on the doctor for a bit? Just an hour or so. I think I need a little longer to rest before having a proper examination."

The nurse frowned a little, "I really am supposed to go and get the doctor..." She trailed off when she saw the exhausted look on Jack's face, "Alright, just an hour though then I'm sending the doctor in."

Jack smiled at her, "Thanks," He said, letting go of her hand and letting his fall to the bed. She nodded then turned to leave again, leaving him alone with Sousa once more.

He thought he might be able to fall back asleep, but that was when he heard Sousa start to stir and saw his eyes slowly blink open. At first, the other man looked as though he'd seen a ghost, before a bright smile broke across his face.

"Jack," He said, "You're awake. Oh my god you're really awake." He reached for his crutch to stand and walk towards Jack, but the other man gestured for him to stop.

"No stay where you are, can't have you ending up in a hospital bed next to me," Jack joked, and Sousa laughed, settling back on his chair. For a while the two men just stared at each other, before Jack asked the question he had been slightly afraid to ask "So. What happened?"

Sousa deflated a little, "You were shot, Jack, you don't remember?"

Jack shook his head, "Last thing I remember is a knock at my hotel door then... nothing." Jack was struggling to process that fact that he had actually been shot. He could have died. No wonder everyone was so worried.

"We were sort of hoping you'd be able to tell us who did this but, I assume you have no idea." Sousa sighed, sounding a little disappointed.

"Afraid not," Jack replied, and a gloomy feeling fell over the room that hadn't been there a few minutes ago. Jack decided to ask something else that had been on his mind. "So, that nurse said you've been here for days. Didn't get bored staring at my sleeping body in all that time?"

Daniel smiled, "I had company. Peggy's been in and out, and I think that nurse has a bit of a thing for you, she came in at least once an hour, sometimes just to stare at you. I told her you'd be a lot less appealing once she actually heard you talk."

Jack rolled his eyes, "Oh can it Sousa, you care about me. If you didn't why would you be here?"

Daniel frowned, "Of course I care about you Jack." He said, staring right at Jack and he almost spontaneously combusted under the other man's watchful eye, "You're my friend."

Jack cleared his throat, "Right, friend. Of course." Things suddenly felt a little awkward, but Jack didn't feel like being the one to break the silence this time. He'd let Sousa do that.

"Nice room you got here," Sousa eventually said, "Much nicer than the one I shared with twenty other guys."

"Yeah I was gonna ask, why am I in a private room? I thought you had to pay extra for those," He said, hoping to God Sousa wasn't about to tell him he owed the hospital way more money than he was already imagining.

"You're dad's paying for it," Sousa said simply. As if that was a simple thing to say.

"My dad?" Jack asked, frowning, "He's paying for me to be in a private room? What did he come visit and tell you or something?" Worried about what his father would think seeing another man sat by his hospital bedside.

Daniel shook his head, "No the doctor told me when I asked." He said, "Your dad hasn't been here."

Jack shook his head, "I'm not surprised. He practically disowned me the day I moved to New York." He said, heart jumping as he realised what he'd said. He never spoke about his father, not because it hurt too much or anything like that, but because of what else talking about him might uncover.

Daniel frowned, "I thought he was the one that got you the job in New York though?"

"Yeah to get rid of me." Jack wasn't sure why he was still talking. He could feel some medically prescribed drugs in his system that seemed to be acting as a bit of a truth serum. If he was being honest, it felt good to talk about his father. Especially with Sousa.

The other man was silent for a few seconds, before saying, "I'm sorry, Jack. I have no idea what that would feel like."

Jack shook his head, "Don't feel sorry, I'm glad I don't have to see him. He tends to cause more damage than he does good."

"So... um, you know if it's not too awkward to talk about. Why did he want to get rid of you?" Daniel asked, and Jack knew he should stop now. If he answered that question he wouldn't be able to stop. He would tell Sousa everything then who knew what would happen. But he just kept talking anyway. Later he would blame it on the drugs.

"Because he found out about Avery." Jack said, and there it was. There was the truth. Now he just had to wait for Daniel to figure it out.

"Avery? Who's Avery?" Daniel asked, frowning.

"My, um... my ex. Sort of." Jack said, looking anywhere but at Daniel.

"Oh," Daniel said, face morphing into a look of surprise. "I didn't realise you'd had a girlfriend, you've never mentioned her before. Why didn't your dad like her?"

Jack cringed a little, because what could he say now? He could either correct Daniel, who would surely understand the second he knew, or he could come up with some elaborate lie about why his father hadn't approved of his 'mystery girlfriend.' Maybe he could say she was of a lower class, his father probably wouldn't have liked that either. Or maybe she was a pacifist and his father had grown tired of hearing her talk about how unnecessary the war had been. But honestly, Jack was tired of the lies. He needed to let someone in, or else he may explode.

"Avery... Avery was a boy. He and I fought together, and after a few months we became more than friends. My father walked in on us in an intimate moment, and a week later I was being shipped to New York without even saying goodbye. I don't know what Avery was told, but he hasn't tried to reach out to me so I assume it wasn't good." Throughout all this, Jack still didn't look at Daniel, he couldn't bare it. He knew the face he would find there, a look of disgust, and as he imagined that he began to regret ever even mentioning Avery. The truth had sobered him up enough to realise how bad of an idea this had been.

After about a minute of silence, Jack decided to bite the bullet and just look at the other man, who was staring right at him. However, the face he saw wasn't the one he had been expecting, it was one of acceptance. Daniel didn't say anything else, he just nodded with a slight smile on his face, and Jack's heart soared. Was he imagining this?

"It's okay Jack," Daniel eventually said, "I won't tell anyone." Then he started rambling about what had been happening in the SSR whilst Jack had been out, but he wasn't listening. He couldn't. Because he couldn't believe Daniel was still here, that he hadn't walked out shouting about how he was a freak of nature, on his way to inform the police and get Jack arrested. He was just sitting there, as if Jack had never said anything. He thought maybe Daniel hadn't properly understood what he had said, but that wasn't possible. Jack couldn't have really been any more clear without actually mentioning the word 'boyfriend.' No, Daniel had understood, and he didn't care.

The two men sat there, making idle chatter in the way they always did, and Jack must have lost track of time because the doctor walked in alongside the nurse from earlier. Daniel stood when the doctor reached Jack's bedside.

"I should probably get going," He said, "I've missed far too much work already waiting for you to hurry up and wake up." He had that same smile from earlier on his face, and this time Jack returned it.

"Yeah whatever," Jack said, rolling his eyes playfully, "I'll see you later, Daniel."

Daniel nodded, "Definitely." And then he left, Jack still lying there contemplating the last hour in his head. A bright smile that he just couldn't stop spread across his face, as he realised that for the first time in his life.

He felt free.