Chapter Text
He had asked his dad to choose him over his murderer. He begged him to kill the clown that killed him. Looking back he could have just asked for a better prison, could have asked him to send him far far away. He should have known better than to listen to the green haze clouding his mind, he shouldn’t have pushed Bruce that far. Maybe he should have asked Dick, he might have chosen him instead of that fucking clown. Why did he have to do that? Why did his own dad choose the fucker that killed him over his own son? How could he do that? It didn’t make sense. He could have offered something else, maybe the green would have been satisfied with another option that got him his family back, that got him justice. He knew that was a lie but he could have fought harder against the pit if he knew his dad really cared, that his dad wanted him back. That his dad really mourned him and didn’t just grab the next blue-eyed, black-haired kid and threw him in a costume.
Instead, his dad - no Batman threw a batarang at him, he had to have miscalculated. He wouldn’t have done it on purpose, he couldn’t have. It had to be his own fault, he had to have moved, or something to get the batarang to miss his hand or arm. It hit his throat, lodged in his throat, he was choking on his own blood. He had looked at his father right before the bomb blew, he didn’t care about Jason, he was jumping at the clown. Batman had to think he hit his hand or arm, he wouldn’t go after the clown if he knew… he wouldn’t. Now he was laying in the burning rubble of another building choking on smoke and blood. He was going to die again, in the same drawn out terrible way. He couldn’t move, he was trapped and trying to hold the batarang still so he wouldn’t bleed out even faster. He could hear rubble being moved, he hoped it was his dad. He hoped his dad realized he didn’t get out, he would save him this time. He didn’t get to see his savior, he blacked out from blood loss right as the last piece of rubble was moved.
Waking up felt like hell, his throat burned, his body ached and any movement sent sharp bolts of pain everywhere but especially his throat and chest. He tried to take in his surroundings while he kept his eyes closed. He couldn’t discern any specific smells that told him where he was or even sounds. He hoped he could hear bats and water dripping off of stalactites, he hoped he could smell the dampness of the cave, the sharp scent of disinfectant but nothing. How was he alive? Was he even alive? Where was he? He opened his eyes and looked around. He realized he must be in the back of Leslie's clinic. He then met the eyes of a very startled archer coming through the door. Jason threw himself back and went to cuss but all that came out was a wheeze. He put a hand to his throat and gasped softly, his eyes flitted around the room and back to the archer. Jason’s heart was beating quickly, he wasn’t supposed to be here, he was supposed to be with his dad. He could hear the archer speaking but nothing could get through the pulsing of his head and the sound of blood rushing.
He stumbled into a corner and kept trying to get out of his head, trying to ask what the archer wanted, why he was here instead of his dad. Leslie was soon in the room making the green archer back up. He then gasped as all the sounds came rushing back to him, the monitors beeping rapidly, a gruff voice trying to question and assure him, Leslie trying to soothe him so he could respond. Why couldn’t he get an answer out? Why couldn’t he speak? It had to just be from Leslie stitching him up, right? Okay, it was just until he healed then, that’s fine. It would be fine.
He finally met Leslie’s eyes, he kept one hand on his throat and the other went to Leslie’s coat. He tried to calm his breathing, but the monitors then quieted, he flinched when he turned to look at the monitors.
“Don’t move. Don't try to talk anymore. You might rip the stitches. And I did not spend hours stitching you up for you to just tear them up.”
Jason stopped and looked back at the doctor.
“You should be dead, and I’m not referring to just tonight,” Leslie told him as she held his wrist to take the hand away from his throat.
He let her move his hand, he swallowed thickly.
“What do you mean not just tonight?” The gruff voice from earlier spoke up.
Leslie looked at Jason, she was asking if she could tell him. She needed to know if she could tell and even trust the green archer who brought Jason in.
Jason nodded a bit, he could let Oliver know. He could let everyone know now. He didn’t care. Maybe Oliver could help him get back to Bruce.
“Can he help you off the floor first please?” She asked Jason.
Jason nodded slightly again, Oliver walked over and helped get the injured young man up. Weary of hurting him more than he already was.
Jason hesitantly laid back in the bed, he could feel the pain of his body catching up to him.
Leslie checked him over, allowing Oliver to stew in anticipation while she did, “I said that he should be dead not just tonight because this is the second Robin.”
Oliver looked at Leslie and then Jason, “Oh my god. How are you alive?”
Jason shrugged before hissing in pain.
“Try not to move please.”
Jason then realized his left hand was in a cast. Why didn’t he notice that before? He gestured writing with a pen at Leslie and Oliver hoping they understood.
Leslie reached into her coat pocket and handed him a small notebook and pen.
He wrote out ‘Injuries?’
“Bruised and cracked ribs, a broken wrist, sprained ankle, bruising, concussion, deep cut in your neck, and blood loss. I believe most of that was caused by the building collapse, though I have questions about your neck wound…”
“So do I. I found you, Rob. What happened?” Oliver asked, looking at the kid he once knew like a day hadn’t passed since their last meeting.
Jason frowned at the name, he looked down at the notebook, ‘Fought with Bat, I lost.’ He turned the paper back to them.
“Why were you fighting?”
Jason gave Oliver a dirty look for that, he turned the book back around to write, ‘Why do you think?’
"You faking your death?" Oliver guessed.
Jason huffed at Oliver for the insult. 'Didn't fake. I died'
Oliver read the note a few times, trying to process it for a moment. Others had come back from the dead or close to it before, some even faked their deaths. He nodded at the young man, "Okay then your resurrection?'
'Murder'
"Your murder?" Leslie asked. She knew what had really happened. Bruce had told her, and given her the autopsy file.
'And clown'
"Clown? Oh… him." Oliver replied.
'You were upset about Joker. What about him made you upset?"
Jason was very tired, he realized. But he wanted - no - needed more answers, 'No Kill. I asked. He missed and hit my throat.'
"You asked him to break his rule and then when he didn't he threw the batarang?" Leslie questioned hoping for more clarity. She looked at the Green Arrow on the other side of Jason's bed.
"Kid… you… Batman doesn't miss… I have never seen him miss." Oliver cringed at the thoughts going through his mind.
'He missed' Jason circled the note a few times and shoved it at the archer.
"Did he know it was you?" Leslie asked softly.
Jason nodded a bit and tapped the circled message again.
"Maybe he was overwhelmed by your revival. He was spooked and missed?" Oliver offered.
Hearing his own train of thought out loud made them sound wrong, it made it sound like he was grasping at straws. His dad couldn't have meant to hurt him. Not more than the fight before him asking could have. But they were both at fault there. Batman doesn't miss though, Bruce knew it was him the entire fight and even before. Why would this rattle him more than the other times? Jason choked on a sob, though no sound came out. Tears streamed down his cheeks, it was embarrassing to do this in front of others but especially a JL member.
Oliver grimaced and laid a hand on Jason's good hand.
Leslie sat on the side of his bed and gently put a hand on his leg. "I'll talk to him about this, he needs to be held accountable. Accident or not." Leslie declared.
Jason took the notepad back and cursed his tears for making his vision so blurry. He wrote 'No' underlined three times before handing it to Leslie.
"Okay. We can talk more about this later after you rest. Though I'm sure you'll want Green Arrow to inform you about why he's here before you rest. I'll keep him out of the room if you'd like."
Jason hesitated. He would be vulnerable when he was asleep. He needed a guard but could he trust Oliver not to snitch to Bruce or the JL? Would Oliver just ignore Leslie and take him to the Watchtower? Did they know he was Red Hood? Did they know what he did?
"Kid. If you want I'll just stay in the chair in the corner while you rest. Nothing else. I could call someone else for you. Or I can leave."
He looked at both of them before shrugging and playing with a loose thread on his blanket.
Oliver nodded and put the chair in the corner before sitting down, he knew Robin speak pretty well from the first two.
"Okay, I'll be back in a few hours unless it's an emergency." Leslie said.
"Kid, I know you're the second Robin. I don't know how but you're here. I won't say anything to anyone but I've spent enough time around you Robins I know. Don't try to tell me otherwise. I was here on personal business, I was hoping Batman could help me with. If you're worried I'll talk to him about this I won't. It seems like you don't really want to deal with him right now anyway. I was here about Roy. I thought Batman could help me and Dick talk some sense into him. I'll stop talking now so you can rest but I thought it would help you be less tense if you knew why I was here in the first place." Oliver stated before he grabbed a magazine sitting on a table.
Jason hesitantly nodded, he was still a bit tense but he was less anxious about the man now, though his body couldn't fight the drowsiness from the drugs, his eyes fluttered a bit before closing as he fell asleep.
[6 hours later]
Jason woke to the sound of the door closing. He looked around with bleary eyes and stiffened when he saw a hooded ninja entering the room from the window.
"My lady is coming to retrieve you in the next hour. My orders are to get you ready for transport. She was informed of the lead-up to your injuries and the extent of your injuries. Others will occupy the Green Arrow until you can be retrieved safely." The assassin spoke as she walked over to Jason to assess the injuries herself.
Jason didn't see the notepad and pen so he just gestured to his throat with his good hand.
"You cannot speak. This is temporary?" She asked.
Jason tried to assure her he was pretty confident in it being temporary, he wasn't sure how well it worked.
"I will inform Lady Talia." She stepped back towards the window, another assassin came and she referred the information to them.
Barely 30 minutes later he could hear the telltale click of Talia's heels on the vinyl tiles of Leslie's clinic.
"Ma'am? You can't go back there. Ma'am!" He could hear someone calling after Talia.
She obviously ignored them in favor of her oldest son. She pushed open the door and frowned, "Oh habibi. I'm sorry your father didn't kill that reached clown. How are you feeling? Just - with your good hand can you tell me?" She quickly went to his bedside and gently held the broken hand in her own.
Jason gave her a so-so with his good hand as instructed. He then rubbed a bit beneath the bandages on his neck.
"Get him water." She instructed the assassin without taking her eyes off Jason.
Jason rolled his eyes at her but wasn't going to try and stop anyone because he did want water.
"Did shrapnel cause that wound
qumraa aleaziz?"
Jason flushed at the pet name Talia insisted she call him after she declared him her son. He was her dear moon and Damian was her little sun. Both boys protested these names but not so secretly loved them. He shook his head slightly in response.
"Use your good hand habibi. One for yes. Two for no."
Jason sighed a bit and tapped his hand twice.
"The clown?"
He tapped twice again. He didn't meet her gaze any more.
Talia swallowed, she didn't want to entertain this thought. Surely her beloved would not do this to their son. Not after how much he grieved Jason. "...Your father?"
Jason tapped once.
"Do you believe it's purposeful?"
Jason shrugged a bit. He finally took the water from the assassin and took small sips. It helped and hurt at the same time.
"Did the archer have anything to do with your injuries?"
Jason glanced at her and tapped twice.
"He saved you?" When he tapped once she nodded, "Very well. I will call off the others. I'll send him something nice. After we get you back to Nanda Parbat. You can deny the pit of course but you should think about it. Your throat seems to be seriously injured from the reports I've read."
Jason just shrugged again.
"Alright, rest qumraa aleaziz. We shall get you out of here soon. Damian will be very happy to get you back for some time. He has missed you, as have I."
Jason was in and out of sleep, with brief images of people moving him in and out of buildings and planes. Before he knew it, he was looking at the League of Assassins medical clinic ceiling.
Jason ended up declining the pit. He didn't want more of that stuff inside him. He hated it already. He didn't think it would heal him this time anyway.
He focused on Damian and healing himself. When his cast came off and everything but his throat was fully healed he set back to training with his little brother.
After a full year, he had learned the basics of the broader languages of sign language. He mostly spoke in ASL though. Damian enjoyed learning with him and helping him teach Talia. He had finally accepted he would have no spoken voice again. He wouldn't get to read Damian a bedtime story again, sing off-key to annoy him, or even tell his mom he loved her again.
He planned on never returning to Gotham. He would never go back to that hell hole or his father. His plan was ruined when Ra's decided to fuck up and dipped himself in the pit again. He was crazier. So until he was nonviolent towards family, they would go to the only place his reach did not dare touch. The lovely Gotham City. He was not looking forward to this reunion, he hesitated even saying reunion as if it were up to him he would take Damian and hide in the city. Talia denied that offer knowing her father would try and get them back if they were not in the Bats circle. Talia was unhappy with this development as well. She would be the one to attempt to get Ra's and contain him so they could get back to Nada Parbat.
"Listen to your brother shamsi alsaghira. He knows that city like the back of his hand. He will protect you even if you believe you do not need it. Be safe. I will join you soon, in a few months at the least and a year or so at the longest. And don't forget to call. I love you both so much." Talia pulled each son into a hug and kissed their heads before sending them onto the dock to enter Gotham City. The city her beloved hurt their son in, the one where she would burn to the ground if he dared to try it again. She would keep agents near them to keep watch, they would make sure nothing heinous happened to her boys again.