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Lighter on, cigarette on, and two exhalations. That's how you light a cigarette for yourself. That's what Connor does to calm himself down.
The door of the bathroom was locked and the little space between it and the floor was covered with a wet towel so nobody could smell the smoke from outside; no that he was worried that someone would find out he was into smoking, but he just does it when he's having a (really) bad mental day. And that's exactly why he's in the bathroom, sitting on the cold floor with his back resting on the wall and smoking a cigarette from a pack he stole from one of his fellow Broilers teammates. He wasn't proud of it but he needed it so badly.
Every exhalation was him trying not to cry and break down, not when Wylan B is there outside waiting for him to come out. Connor told him he wouldn't take too long, after all, it was only a common quick visit to the bathroom for... bathroom things.
Of course, he was lying.
He isn't a good liar. He knows his boyfriend is already suspecting and wondering why he's taking too long.
And maybe Wylan is already asking himself why he's hearing Connor sobbing because that's exactly what Connor is doing right now.
There was a knock coming outside, "Connor, love, everything's good there?" Wylan finally asked, he was standing at the door and knocked again when he didn't get an answer from the other guy. "Do you want me to come in?"
"No no I'm good I just..." the redhead was trying to think of something, breathing in the process trying to catch a bit of fresh air. "I-I need five minutes and I'll be done", and he lied again. He's now praying Wylan didn't notice his voice shaking from trying not to break down at that moment.
But Wylan knew there was something off, he knows how Connor doesn't admit when he needs help from someone and he prefers to hide it instead. He knocked at the door once again hoping this time the ginger would open it.
Connor heard the knock but didn't answer back. "I'm looking miserable," he said to himself while tears were already falling off his face. He inhaled the air full of chemicals once more. At this moment he couldn't hide it anymore. He wants to scream but he can't, no words come out of his mouth and the tears keep coming, more and more each second.
He's at his limit. THAT week was his limit: first the stress of pretending someone he's not in front of his classmates, then his team losing a game and the coach blaming him for it, he also failed an exam (which can be seen as insignificant to anyone else, but he needs to be perfect in everything and that exam was taking a toll on him).
And the last thing? He got in a fight with some random bully who was calling him and Wylan slurs only because they were holding hands, and said bully almost hurt the blonde guy but instead, he received a punch in the face from the freckle-faced captain, and that's when the fight started. Burgerbugh High School isn't well known to be a very... open-minded place, to say the least, and guess what. Connor got suspended for 3 days for it. Not the bully but HIM.
And now he was hurting himself for it.
Not only by doing something he isn't supposed to do, but now he was placing the part with the fire of the cigarette on his hands, leaving a mark and pain in the process. At that moment he didn't care at all about the pain so he kept doing it, leaving small red marks on his skin and feeling what he thought he deserved. He was trying to distract himself from the emotional pain he was in.
He didn't notice Wylan was opening the door; he found something to open it and, thanks to his ability to open doors with anything (something he learned from his dad in case of an emergency), he could finally open the door. This was definitely an emergency after all.
The blonde guy opened the door and his eyes immediately looked at his boyfriend, sitting on the floor with his face buried in his knees, clearly seeing what he was doing but also seeing the freckle-faced captain crying for being in so much pain right now.
He didn't say anything, instead, he kneeled down so they could be at the same level. This isn't the first time he sees Connor having a breakdown, but it is the first time he sees him smoking and hurting himself like that.
"Connor, what's wrong?" Wylan softly asked, getting closer to his lover. "You know you can tell me but please don't—"
"Leave me alone.", Connor answered back, his voice was low yet very painful to hear for Wylan.
"Babe but—"
"I said leave me alone."
"I'm not gonna do that, you need someone to be with you please let me help—"
"GET OUT OF HERE I DON'T NEED ANYONE TO FEEL PITY FOR ME!!! I'M PERFECTLY FUCKING FINE!!!"
And there it goes. His explosive personality.
Both of them stood there in shock; the rapper didn't expect him to explode like that, and the basketball player didn't want to yell at him. He was so ashamed of himself.
"I-I..." He didn't know what to say. His mind was in a different place, and his heart was in pain.
His sobbing became pure crying, and all he could do was cover his face with his hands (not before putting out the cigarette in his hand and putting it aside). He wanted to disappear at that moment.
He heard Wylan sighing and felt when he stood up from the floor. That's it. He ruined it. He ruined their relationship, he's gonna be alone, the thing he fears the most is happening, he's-
"Come here"
Connor removed his hands from his face... and the next thing he saw was his boyfriend sitting next to him with his arms open for him. He was confused, is this some kind of sick goodbye? Or-
"What are you waiting for? I said come here"
"I-I know what you said... but why? Why are you so nice to me after I-I... yelled at you?"
Wylan looked at him, a smile forming on his face.
"Because I love you, and I know you didn't mean it. I don't know how to help you, but I'm here for you Connor. I'd always be here."
And before the rapper could say anything else Connor hugged him and more tears appeared. Wylan let the redhead cry on his shoulder while he was holding him in a very tight hug.
They stayed like that for some minutes until Connor calmed down a little, he wasn't crying like before now but he still let some tears escape from his eyes.
"I-I'm sorry for yelling at you, I'm so sorry..."
"It's okay darling, I would never be angry with you for something you can't control. Everyone has bad days and that's totally fine. I'm here for you."
Those words made Connor relieved in some way. Knowing he has someone at that moment made him feel happy and comfortable.
"Do you want me to sing a song for you?"
"Y-yes please"
"Okay. But first I'm gonna get you some bandages, I can't let you catch an infection"
Oh right, his hands.
He totally forgot he was burning them with the cigarette that was now laying on the floor. His face went red from the embarrassment of thinking Wylan Bombolony, the love of his life, saw him in that situation.
Meanwhile, Wylan was searching for a first aid kit, finding one after 6 minutes and sitting again on the floor at Connor's side.
He holds some cotton with alcohol in it, "Can I?" He asked and when the other guy nodded he hold the other's hand and gently placed the cotton on his hand, making Connor react with a bit of pain.
When he made sure he disinfected all the marks he took the bandages and started to wrap the ginger's hands with them.
"Aaaand done. I think that has to be enough, anymore you want me to do?"
"..." He didn't get an answer. Connor was looking at his hands, now covered by the bandages. He wasn't thinking about anything, he just was unfamiliar with the feeling of someone caring for him that wasn't his adoptive parents.
Wylan now was resting his back on the wall, his legs and arms ready to receive and give affection to the taller guy.
"Your head here," He said while pointing at his legs with one of his fingers, "And I don't accept a no as an answer this time"
Connor let out a small giggle before he lay down on the floor, putting his head on his lover's legs. The Derps boy started to sing, his voice was soft and comforting (something that most people wouldn't expect to hear from him), while he was touching and playing with Connor's afro with his hands; something they usually do when they want to spend time together. This moment isn't the exception.
"I was found on the ground by the fountain, at Valder Fields and was almost dry~"
Connor had his eyes closed, listening carefully to the song but most importantly to Wylan's voice. Something he cherished the most. There was a smile on his face, a smile of happiness. He was certainly happy.
"Lying in the sun after I had tried, lying in the sun by the side~"
"Do you know I love you, right?" The basketball guy interrupted. Wylan looked at him, his face being one of the most precious things he had ever seen. "I love your voice, I love your songs. Oh my gosh, Wylan... I love you so much I can't think of anything else to say", they both laughed at what Connor said.
Wylan placed a kiss on his forehead, "I love you too, my prince. You matter so much to me I'd do anything for you. Now let's relax, okay?"
"That sounds fine to me"
"Shoelaces were tied at the traffic lights~"
And Wylan continued to sing.
"I was running late, I could apply~"
And Connor continued to love him more and more.
They stayed like that. Yes, they were sitting on the floor of the bathroom.
But they were together. And that's what matters to them.