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"What's the problem ma'am?" The paramedics said as red and blue lights illuminated the disasterous scene. There was a man bleeding from everywhere and a crazy bitch with glasses tryign to save him.
"OH MY GOD LEVI GONNA DIE!!!" Hange SCREAMED as the paramedics arrived at the scene. "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGHHHH!!!! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!"
Levi didn't even grumble as the paramedics got him onto the stretcher. THAT WAS SO BAD. LEVI always complained. ALWAUYS! One worker asked Hange if she wanted to come along, pulling her out of her monologue. The crazed woman agreed and hopped into the ambulance. This was so bad. LEVI GONNA DIE?
WEE WOO WEE WOOO! Was all Hange Zoe could hear as the ambulance sped down the road at 100 miles an hour. Why did Zeke do this? Why couldnt he just explode himself somehwere else!? WHYYY LEVI WHYY! Tears ran down the one eye that wasn't covered with a patch.
Luckily, going 100 miles an hour down the street helped them get to the hospital quickly. Grey Sloan Memorial: the sign read. As they all went inside, Hange noticed a brown blur slip in past her leg.
An older woman, probably none other than MEREDITH gray herself began shouting orders at her subordinates. Richard, Miranda and Owen followed the paramedics into the surgery room. They put levi on the bed and gave him IV fluid for blood, drugs and healing. They also gave him oxygen mask so he could breathe and look extra pathetic for hospital ads.
"What about proper preperation?" Richard asked. Normally doctors washed their whole arms before working on a patient. richared and the others ferociosuly scrubbed their entire arms and faces and bellies. Bellybutton lint infection was a serious problem in other hospitals but Grey Sloan memorial was one of the only medical centers in the world that did not have this porblem.
"THARE'S NO TIME!" Miranda screamed back while brushing her teeth because she forgot to this morning. She didnt want to accidentally breathe bad breath into the patenients open wound and trap stinky smell inside when they stitched it up. If the wound oppened again it would be a distaster!
"Wow, he hs the same name as me," a doctor with black hair and a beard and a name taag that said Levi walked in. "WOW COOL!"
"Alright bitches, let's cut him open," Meredith whipped out a surgical knife and cut open Levi's (Ackerman) stomach. "OOh, his organs got all tangled in the blast. Owen, come here my bitch."
"OK," Owen and Gray began untangling Levi's (Ackermans) stomach, from liver and rectum. Hange stood with her mouth agape. HOW DID LEVI EVEN SURVIVE??? All of his orangs were tangled like Rapunzel's hair or oddly, like Hange's hair right now. She quickly took out a hairbrush and ran it through her matted mess, then ate the hairs that came out. Yumm snack.
"It was his Acerman powers," a strange voice replied to Hange's thoughts. A brown dog was sitting beside her. So that's who came into the hosptial. But WHY???.?
"What are you doing here and why do you talk?" Hange narrowed her eyes. "AND ARENT YOU GOING TO CONTAIMINATE LEVI!? THEY ARE CUTTING HIM OPEN AND YOR SITTING RIGHT THERE STUPID DOG! YOU GONNA INFECT HIM! LEVI GONNA DIE??"
"Im not stupid," the dog replied, "also, Levi Ackerman love Ervin more than you." Then the dog faded away, leaving nothing but a trace of fart cloud in the air. Hange coughed and turned her attention back to the surgical table. The other Levi was doing nothing but sniffing Levi Ackerman's toes and braething in his toenails.
"HAY YOU!" Hange pointed her finger, "GET TO WORK SILLY BOY!" Levi stuck his tongue out at her but then suddenly Cristina burst in and hit him with a frying pan, knocking the imposter unconscious.
"That should teach him," said the lady. "Alright, so have you finished rearranging his organs yet?"
"Yes," gray replied, "now we need to stitch him up and then do a brain surgery and we should be good."
"WAHT BUT HE LOST BLOOD ALREADY!" Hange screamed and waved her arms, "YOU GONNA KILL LEVI! NOOOOOOOOO! YOU MAKE LEVI GONN DIE!!!!!???"
"Get this crazy bitch outta here," Richard crossed his arms and pushed Hange out of the operating room. "If you dont stop screaming we are gonna perform a lobotomy on you."
Suddenly, hange pulled down her pants and shit all over the flloor. Richard was too shocked so he frose and his brain deleted itself. Hange ran back into the opertaing room to find they were done with surgery. Levi looked like a mummy. Everything was wrapped. There was even a sticker on him that said "FRAGILE: HANDLE WITH CARE."
"LEVI GONNA LIFE!" Hange exclaimed, her irriatable bowels causing her to shart her pants. She was so happy she could just poop everywhere!!!
"Oh my precious LEVI (ackerman) waht have they done you?" Hange whimpered and nuzzled the man she so desperately craved. But like that dog said, he would always love that blond conor wolf boy bitch ervin over her. Why oh Why, Levi (ackerman) I just want to liclk your toes like the other levi did. But you would never forgive me.
Meanwhile in the other room with the doctors Owen was irish dancing on Meredith's face while Cristina and Levi were laughing. Richard had to be put into brain surgery by Miranda who cut open his skull to rewrite his memories and brain function. Seeing all of that shit come out of Hange's bare ass gave him enough brain damage to last multiple lifetimes.
"Hubahahbah, blah blah," Meredith Gray said while spitting out teeth because owen disloged them all from her mouth from the tap dancing. "blah bleh, blah blah blah." Her mouth opene d like a radio and began playing SNOW PATROL CHASING CARS while she did her monologue. "Blah, heh bleh bleh, blah."
"Shut up bitch," Owen jumped on her face and finally shut her mouth with his foot. Gray;'s tongue exploded out of her mouth and licked all aroundthe side of his steel toed boot. "Eww gross." Owen sighed.
Hange felt so sad and poop dripped out of her nostirl. It splatted on the floor and the souynd was so lopud Levi (ackerman) moaned and opened his eye.
"Hmmph," he said throught the bandages that wrapped his face and mouth. "Hmpt hm h,mmm hmph."
"What levi (ackerman) i can't understand you," Hange blushed.
"HMMMMMM," Levi closed his eyes and gave up on truying to moan to Hange. That would probbaly just make her think he is into her. Oh what Levi (ackerman) would give to see his blond bitch boy ervin again. But the only blond bitch boy he could think of was that UGLY ZEKE YEAGER. Zeke's highlighter blonde hair matched perfectly with hiS DISGUASTING BOOGERS unlike Erwin's lovely piss colored hair. It reminded levi (ackerman) of when erwin peed in both of their teas and they both drank it together. That was so funnie. Levi (ackerman) laughed from under the bandages, ignoring the searing pain of his broken ribs and everywhere else across his body. Ow, my ribs, he thought. I feel just like Walten (the Guardian) Slendytubbies after he got tortured.
"hey bitch," Levi opened his eyes to find Erwin standing over him. "I pissed in your IV so now it'll go strait to yor blood babe."
"Hmmph," Levi sighed in delite.
"URRRRGGHH! IM SO MAD! ERWIN YOU SOLE HIM FORM MEEEEEE!" HAnge stamped her foot and jumped up and down. "Luckily my IBS isnt activated right now or i would totally shit in yor face!"
"HAHAHAHHA No you wouldnt beatch," Erwin laughed.