Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Why are these lights so bright?

Oh, did we get hitched last night, dressed up like Elvis?

Why am I wearing your class ring—?

Hitting the button to turn off the radio, Sock rolled back to his bed shutting his eyes tight trying to hide from the light streaming from his window. It’s too early to wake up. I could’ve sworn I went to sleep an hour ago.

Opening one of his eyes he glanced at the clock reading it to be 8 o’clock when he set his alarm. Laying in bed for another minute, the twenty-four year old pulled the cover to the side and got out of bed. Walking over to his bedroom door he looked behind him to his messy room. His clothes were scattered around in a systematic format only he knew. His mother kept nagging at him to clean up but he liked his disorganized order.

There were papers all over his oak computer table, some of his college assignments cluttering the workable area. Shrugging a shoulder, Sock rubbed his hand over his face feeling a bit of stubble rub his palm. I’ll shave after breakfast, he reminded himself.

Walking down the small hallway to the bathroom Sock ran his fingers over his short crazy bed hair when he heard faint snoring coming from the living room. Blinking up from the dregs of sleep, Sock walked in that direction. Sure Sock had two cats living with him, but he’s never heard them snore quite like that.

On his couch, was a man of no more than twenty-eight years old sleeping heavily with one arm over his eyes and another over his bare stomach.

“Uh...” Sock said looking from side to side. Everything looked like his apartment, so at least that wasn’t the issue but he didn’t understand who this guy was sleeping on his couch without a care in the world.

Stepping closer, Sock leaned in to see better. He had blond hair with a darker shade underneath. The mystery man also had a nice chest, not muscular, but definitely well define. His pink lips were parted as he exhaled letting out a soft snore.

Feeling nervous to disturb him, Sock backed up and made his way back to his bathroom letting the stranger sleep. Sock’s heart pounded in his chest loudly, he took a big long gulp of air to calm himself. Standing in front of the mirror, Sock turned the handle of the sink and cupped his hand under the cold water, splashing his face. After a few rounds, he was fully awake and went onto his morning routine.

Coming out of the bathroom twenty minutes later drying his damp hair, Sock peeked to the living room to see if the stranger was still there. Noticing that he was still there in fact, Sock went back to his room to grab some clothes to change into. In a record of three minutes flat, Sock came back out of his room and entered seeing the stranger slowly waking up as he rubbed his eyes.

“Good morning,” Sock offered standing near the entrance by the hallway.

Bright blue eyes under dark bruises glanced up at him. A look of surprise passed his face as he sat up, “Who are you?”

“I could ask you the same thing,” Sock countered as he watched his stranger look around the room trying to catalog it to his memory.

“Where am I?” he said his face looked more and more confused. Looking back at Sock the stranger asked, “Where’s Lil?”

“Lil?” Sock echoed, the name ringing a bell, “My next door neighbor Lil?”

“Next door neighbor...” he repeated slowly. Looking back around the room he noticed Norris, Sock’s brown furred cat, watching him walk across the floor to Sock as it rubbed his body across Sock’s ankle before trotting down the hall. “Well, that certainly explain why I’m here.”

Cleo, Sock’s other cat, jumped up to the couch and sat on the stranger’s lap. “Cleo wants you to scratch under her ear.”

“Who...?” he asked before he saw her gold eyes staring at him, hesitating for a moment he went to scratch her as she closed her eyes and began to purr. “I was wondering when Lil got two cats when I showed up last night. Guess they’re yours.”

“Yup,” Sock nodded as he left the small shelter of the hallway and made his way into the living room sitting on the end of another sofa. “So, if you’re meant to go to Lil’s place, how did you manage to get inside here?”

He shrugged, still not caring that he was talking to a stranger shirtless while petting said stranger’s cat. “I was in the area, and your window was open. I thought it was Lil’s so I guess I accidently broke into your place.” rubbing his face with his other hand the stranger licked his lips trying to moisturize them. “Do you have any water?”

“Uh—yeah, yeah,” Sock nodded as he got up and grabbed a mug from his cupboard before going to the sink and pouring some inside. Getting back he handed the mug to his unknown guest, “Here.”

“Thanks man,” the stranger said as he took long gulps of his drink until it was empty.

“More?” Sock asked as the other guy nodded and Sock went back to get more water before handing it back. He watched the other guy drink his second cup much like he did the first.

“Oh that was good,” he groaned resting his cup on his knee. Tracing his index finger on the blue mug the stranger looked up at Sock through his lashes, “You wouldn’t happen to have some pain killers around?”

Nodding, Sock went to the bathroom where he kept his ibuprofen next to the first aid kit and came out with two pills handing them over to the stranger. Grabbing the cup Sock went back into the kitchen and filled the cup before handing it over to the blond as he took the pills and drank half a cup of water.

“You’re a lifesaver,” the stranger sighed resting his head on the sofa exposing his neck to Sock. Resisting temptation, Sock sat back down on the couch bringing Cleo to his lap as he scratched her ear while she purred. “I’m Jonathan by the way. You?”

“Sock,” Sowachowski replied. Jonathan quirked his eyebrow at him for the strange name but didn’t comment. “You’re hung over.”

Jonathan chuckled, “Bingo.”

“Is that why you didn’t run after you found out you weren’t at Lil’s place?” Sock asked leaning back after his black cat jumped off his lap and ran to where Norris probably was.

“That’s one of the reasons, yeah,” Jonathan replied taking another sip from the mug. “Another reason was because I crashed on your couch. Figured you’ll want some explanation not me ditching out on you.”

Sock hummed as he nodded; glancing up at his mystery hung over stranger. He got back up and made his decision. “I’m making breakfast. Do you want some?”

Jonathan didn’t expect that response as he looked up at Sock. He shrugged, “Sure, I can go for something to eat. But first, can I use your restroom?”

“First door on your left,” Sock pointed to the hall. “I have a spare toothbrush in the right top drawer by the sink. If you wanna use it you’re more than welcome too.”

“Thanks,” he replied making his way to the hall.

“Jonathan,” Sock said as the stranger paused and looked back at him. “Do you wanna borrow a shirt too?”

Glancing down Jonathan finally realized he wasn’t wearing a shirt this entire time and that his jeans were unbutton. Looking back up the beginning of a blush appeared on his face. “I’d greatly appreciate it.”

“Okay, I’ll have one ready for you on the couch when you get out,” Sock replied as the other man walked down the hall and into the bathroom. Giving himself a moment to process what just happened; the brunet man went back into his room and pulled out a big white t-shirt for his guest. Placing it on the couch Sock got the eggs and bacon out as he turned on his stove and started preparing breakfast.

###

Hot food on the small table, Sock had pushed his junk off to another corner while he went back to flipping the bacon strips when Jonathan came in wearing the white shirt. Though it was a good thing not to be distracted by Jonathan’s bare chest Sock was a little disappointed the view was gone. If Mother knew what I was thinking she’ll say she would pray for me.

“You’re food is on the table,” Sock said over his shoulder doing the finishing touches as he turn off the stove and placed a larger portion of bacon on Jonathan’s plate before putting the rest for himself. Grabbing the blue mug Jonathan used earlier, Sock poured out the water and asked him how he liked his coffee.

“Black,” Jonathan replied picking up his fork and poking it. “You’re being really nice about this. ...Should I be worried you poisoned my food?”

Pouring both their cups with coffee, Sock added three scoops of sugar and two tablespoons of creamer to his. He stirred his cup and sat on the opposite side of Jonathan. “Well if I did then it’s in my food too.”

Taking a large scoop of eggs, Sock put it in his mouth and began chewing. “See, its all good—.” he grabbed his neck coughing before falling to the floor. Waiting a moment or two he glanced up at Jonathan as he stared wide eyed at him. “I was joking.”

“That wasn’t funny,” Jonathan deadpanned. “I thought you really did poison the food.” Taking a big scoop of his eggs with bacon Jonathan popped it into his mouth before moaning. “Oh my God, I’m in heaven.”

“Ha-ha very funny. I didn’t poison it,” Sock rolled his eyes having sat back into his seat and eating more of his breakfast. Taking a sip he looked across the table to a rapture Jonathan. “Dude, is it that bad?”

“No, it’s awesome,” Jonathan said amazed, “If you were a chick I’d take you to city hall and marry you.”

Blushing, Sock put another portion of bacon and eggs into his mouth mumbling that it was nothing. It had been a long time since Sock had someone over. Living by himself in a town three hundred miles from home Sock had hardly knew a soul when he moved here three years ago. He still kept to himself spending most of his time working or going to a local college part-time while he tried to get his dream of becoming a professional writer going.

“Well as nice as that proposal was, you’ll have to give me something more substantial before I agree to marry you.” Sock quipped back. Jonathan laughed smiling easily to this stranger’s apartment.

“I’m surprised Lil hasn’t mentioned you?” Jonathan asked taking another bite.

Sock glanced down at his food, “I don’t really socialize. Mostly I spend my time here... or work... or at college.”

“College? What are you majoring in?” Jonathan asked as he finished eating drinking his coffee.

“English,” Sock replied bringing his cup up as a barrier trying not to show how uncomfortable he was feeling. He didn’t really like talking about himself much because everyone would ask him what he wanted to do and when he said he wanted to write they would laugh. Sock gripped his cup already expecting Jonathan’s next line of questions.

“That’s pretty cool. I, myself, couldn’t do that. I hated analyzing literature in high school. No way was I doing that at college where I had to pay them for that form of torture. I took a year of computer science before I quit.” Jonathan got up, “Hey, can I get some more?”

Having relaxed that Jonathan wasn’t going to question his major Sock just shrugged waving his arm at the coffee machine, “Be my guest.”

Pouring more Jonathan finally noticed the design of his mug, “Dude, is that a TARDIS?”

“You watch Doctor Who?” Sock asked surprised that he knew what a TARDIS was.

“No, but I had this friend in high school who was obsessed,” Jonathan said animated sitting back down. “And I mean obsess, obsessed. Posters, DVDs, the works. I didn’t peg you for a Whovian.”

“I’m not,” Sock replied lifting his favorite mug, “I’m more of a Sherlockian. Still waiting for season three, though good news, they’re finally going to be filming.”

“Doctor Who, Sherlock... all you need is—.”

“—It’s over there,” Sock interrupted pointing to his cupboard. “Supernatural is where it needs to be, next to the salt.”

He laughed, “Of course.”

“Naturally,” Sock said before pausing, “Well... super naturally I guess.” Those green eyes sparked with mischief. “Make sure to always have holy oil next to you if it’s a Tuesday and Heat of the Moment comes on. I learned that the hard way.”

Sock was rewarded by a spray of coffee flying toward him as Jonathan coughed and threw his head back roaring, “Oh my God! ...I can’t believe you said that with a straight face.”

“All in a day’s work,” Sock hummed taking a long sip from his cooling coffee. He tried to keep that smile off his face but failed.

Saying goodbye to Jonathan was difficult. In a short time he made Sock’s day but he knew he had to get back to his reality. Throwing on a jacket over his shoulders, Sock ran out of his apartment making the fifteen minute jog to his work.

Maybe there was a chance I’ll see him after work. Maybe he’ll be a Lil’s place and when I got back we would run into each other. Sock had to shake his head as he stopped at the corner waiting for the light to change. Stop it; it’s not going to happen. You need to forget about the man you found sleeping on your couch. It was just a one-time thing. You need to concentrate on your work and college. Distractions will get you nowhere.

Sock sighed knowing he had a point. His family didn’t believe in him making it as a writer. No one was there rooting for him to succeed and if he wasn’t careful he would ruin his chances here. Work. Study. Write. He didn’t need anything else. He didn’t need anyone else.

His name was Napoleon Maxwell Sowachowski and he was gonna make it on his own without anyone’s help.

Ah hell, I forgot to shave.

Chapter Text

I’m gotta get through this, I’m gotta get through this

I gotta make it, gonna make, gonna make it through

I’m gotta get through this, I gotta get through this

I gotta take my, gotta take my mind off you

Sock was busier than ever the next week. He took two extra shifts clocking more hours just for the sake of keeping busy. If it wasn’t for the fact Norris and Cleo were outdoor cats they might’ve not gotten fed enough. Sock ran himself haggard, sometimes not going to sleep until way pass two am.

Passed out on his desk he heard someone knocking on his door. Groaning, Sock sat up feeling a kink in his neck and his lower back killing him for sleeping in that position. Getting up, he shuffled his way toward the door rubbing his cheek where dried up spit was caked on. He really needed to come up with another plan that didn’t include running himself to death from exhaustion. Sock still had some assignments he had to get through when he fell asleep.

Opening the door in his disheveled clothes he blinked at the purple haired stranger until he was able to register that it was Lil, his next door neighbor. She had short pixie hair, dyed purple, with three earrings on the shell of her left ear and one on her right brow. “Oh, I finally caught you.”

He blinked at her. What was she doing here? She’s never knocked on my door before. “Can I help you?”

“I didn’t wake you, did I?” Lil said her eyes widening in anxiety. “Shit, I didn’t mean to. It’s just that around this time you’re usually running out of your apartment and I thought maybe today I could catch you before you left.”

Through her rambling Sock caught on to one thing. She wanted to talk to him about something if she made the effort to catch him. Looking towards the sky, Sock realized it was a lot later than he originally thought. “No, its fine. My back will thank you for waking me up. That desk isn’t meant for sleep. Did you want to come in?”

“Are you sure it’s no trouble? I was only going to take a second,” Lil said lifting up the plastic bag she was holding. Sock didn’t even realize she was holding something. God, I must be more tired than I thought. “I just wanted to return this.”

Giving her a puzzled look because Sock was pretty sure she never borrowed anything of his he took the bag gently into his hands. “Thank you?”

She laughed, “I should be thanking you. I know it must’ve been really strange waking up to a stranger sleeping on your couch. Jonathan is usually better at aiming his drunken ass to my place. I don’t know what he was thinking sneaking into yours.”

“Jonathan, right,” Sock replied remembering why he was sleep deprived in the first place. Lil was his friend… girlfriend? Sock couldn’t remember anymore and wished he did so he wouldn’t feel so uncomfortable in front of her. “Thanks for returning this. And sorry for troubling you in returning it. My schedule’s been hectic.”

“No problem, Jonathan told me you were in college.” Lil shrugged pulling up another smile, “English major right?”

“Right.”

“Badass,” Lil commented, “I could never do that. College never being my thing. Well, I’ll get out of your hair.” Waving her off Lil walked to her door, opening it and turned around, “Oh, and if you want to watch Sherlock with me just come knock. We can both fangirl together. And make theories about how Sherlock faked his death, alright?”

“Sure,” Sock replied before closing his door resting behind it his heart thumping in his chest. I so did not need these complications in my life. Groaning to himself, Sock left the door tossing the bag holding the t-shirt by the couch. He’ll eventually get around to cleaning up. Walking back into his room, Sock threw himself in bed praying for sleep but knew he had to finish his assignments. With a groan, Sock sat up and started his essay on Their Eyes Were Watching God.

Getting back from work after spending the day studying, Sock filled his cats’ water bowl and refilled their food. He dragged his feet over to his room. Grabbing a change of PJs, Sock marched his way to the bathroom for a much needed shower before heading off to bed.

Screw my show; I’m too tired to stay up an hour just to catch it. Letting the hot water slowly relax his muscles, Sock got shampoo into his hair scrubbing it clean before adding his conditioner while he scrubbed his body with soap. Closing his eyes for a moment Sock began to fall asleep and opened his eyes again shutting off the water and stepped out.

Getting his towel he dried himself off and slipped on his boxers followed by his sweatpants and long threadbare tee. Putting his towel over his head, Sock walked back to his room scrubbing his hair dry. Having it mostly dry Sock considered it a good enough job and threw the towel in the hamper full of dirty clothes. I’ll do laundry tomorrow.

Pulling the covers back, Sock got comfortable and fell asleep instantly.

His phone ringing was what woke Sowachowski up in the morning. Getting up reluctantly he made a beeline for his phone before he missed it. “Hello?” he asked groggily.

“Wow, so you are alive then,” she replied sarcastically, “No, no, don’t worry about me when you’re hundreds of miles away. I didn’t worry when you haven’t had the decency to call me in five months. Or send me a text, email, anything to let me know you’re okay. Did you know if it wasn’t for my monthly run-ins with your mother I wouldn’t know you were still out there?”

“Jojo?” Sock rasped rubbing his face to wake himself up more.

“Oh, so you do remember me,” Jojo retorted, “I thought by now you would’ve made so many new friends out there that you forgot about your old friends back home.”

Sock sighed walking into the kitchen and started his coffee machine. If he was going to have his best friend yell at him, he might as well be more awake for it. “I’m sorry.”

“Yeah you should be sorry.” Jojo replied back with attitude, “Do you know the shit I have to deal with talking to your mother, and asking her about you. Goddamn it Napoleon, I’m your best friend. Why am I asking your mother about you? I should know more than her—damn it. You know I hate dealing with her because—.”

“—Because she always ask when the wedding is. And how you’re not getting any younger to give her grandbabies,” Sock finished her sentence having had it memorized since he was sixteen. “Yeah, I know she’s a pain in the ass but she’s my mom.”

“Pssh, still, just call me so I don’t have to deal with a twenty minute lecture about letting these ‘birthing hips’ go to waste. It’s annoying,” Jojo sighed having grown out of her rant. “How’s college over there? Still want to become a writer?”

“College is like you’d expect it to be, hectic. And yeah, I still want to be a writer. How many times do we have to go over that Joane?” Sock sighed annoyed. Now he remembered why he hadn’t called her in months. Turning around he grabbed his Sherlock mug and poured himself a cup of coffee putting his preferred amount of sugar and cream.

“Jeez, don’t need to rip my head off, I was just asking,” Jojo replied as she rolled her eyes. “I get it. Asking about the writing thing still makes you touchy. So, how life over there? Anything scandalous?”

“I don’t understand your fascination in my life Jojo,” Sock said as he sipped his hot coffee, “I’m gay not a Martian.”

Jojo laughed in delight, “Oh but that’s just it. Why I support all of your mom’s lectures over my fertile loins. I can’t wait until she finds out you won’t be giving her grandbabies with a nice, sweet girl you’ll settle down with. Jesus Napoleon, let me be there when that happens I’m begging you. For all the hours that woman has wasted on me, let me have that.”

“No way, if I have it my way, and I plan on it, she will never know,” Sock shook his head as he felt a shudder go down his back. “No way, no how. I don’t want her to ever know, you hear me Jojo?”

He heard her heavily breathe out, “Fine, I won’t tell her. Thanks for being a killjoy.”

“All part of being a good friend,” Sock smirked as he heard someone at the door. “Hold up, someone is knocking.”

“Oh my God, who? Is it your secret boyfriend? Is that why you haven’t called all these months?” Jojo exclaimed to his ear as Sock tried to ignore her and open the door. When he opened it, Sock wished he hadn’t because the person at the door was the reason he had been spreading himself pretty thin these last two weeks.

“You do know Lil’s door is that one,” Sock automatically answered pointing to the door across from him. He could hear Jojo’s exclamation of who is it?! “Quiet you,” he hissed to his phone before putting it back to his shoulder looking up at those blue eyes again.

“Oh, I know that. I came to visit you.” Jonathan smiled a look of amusement on his face. “Are you busy right now?”

“Kinda,” Sock said just as Jojo’s sharp NO rang through the phone still clutched in Sock’s hand. Putting one finger up at him to wait, Sock turned around putting the phone back to his ear. “What do you think you’re doing Joane?”

“Helping you,” She grinned, “By the way, who is that guy. Is he your boyfriend?”

“Hardly,” Sock scoffed, “Now don’t interfere. Weren’t you just complaining that I haven’t talked to you in months?”

“Well with that voice I can see why you would ignore me.” Jojo replied saucily, “My God, just picturing you having wild dirty sex with him makes my day. Send me a picture of him. Please, it would make me forgive you for your transgression. Go, go, stop using me as a pretext. Go get your man. Dude, your mom’s gonna flip if she knew!”

“Don’t you dare tell her,” Sock hissed glancing back at Jonathan who still stood outside with more amusement on his face. Shrugging, Sock made the gesture that his friend was crazy. “And I’m not going to take a picture. That’s just weird Joane.”

“Do it for me!” she chimed, “Now I gotta go and talk to your mom while I try not to burst out laughing when I see her. Bye!”

“Damn it Jojo, don’t you dare!” Sock gasped as he saw his phone blink signaling that she had already hung up. Taking a moment to center himself, Sock turned back around at the blond by his door. “Come in, my… Jojo is very eccentric.”

He laughed, “I can tell. I saw you get worked up with what she was telling you.” Shutting the door behind him Jonathan held up a plastic bag. “I thought it would be a nice gesture if I brought breakfast this time.”

“You didn’t have to do that.”

“I wanted too,” Jonathan said as he rubbed his neck, “Plus it’s my way of saying thanks for letting me crash at your place last time.”

Sock’s mouth ran dry. What was he supposed to say to that? How could he not find that endearing when Jonathan got all shy like that?

Fuck, I’m so screwed.

Chapter Text

Once upon a time before I took up smiling

I hated the moonlight

Shadows of the night that poets find beguiling

Seemed flat as the moonlight

Taking cooking duty, which Jonathan was relieved because he said he was a terrible cook and didn’t need to add poison to kill, Sock turned the stove on as he began preparing the food.

“Look, I don’t want to sound rude but… what’s up with your hair?” Jonathan lightly smiled at the bird nest on top of Sock’s head. Finally realizing what he must look like with his ratty sweats and his old shirt with that one rip by his shoulder Sock began to blush. Never mind that his hair was probably a tangled mess since he went to sleep when it was damp.

Today was just not his day to impress. Clearing his throat Sock mumbled, “This is what happens when I sleep when my hair isn’t all the way dry.” Running his fingers trying to finger comb his hair, Sock gave up when his fingers got stuck, washed his hands again before he slid the bacon in the pan hearing it sizzle. “I think I was born to have perpetual bad hair. It’s a reason I need to go to a barber shop soon and get it cut shorter. Less hair, less chances it acts up on me.”

“I don’t think a buzz cut would suit you,” Jonathan comments before biting his lip. “No disrespect.”

“None taken,” Sock replied taking the bacon out and adding the next strips. “It’s not really my thing either. I just need to take an inch or two off. Still long enough to run my fingers through but not enough to get it this tangled.”

There was a pregnant pause before Jonathan spoke up, “I think that’s a good idea. Do you have clippers?”

Sock paused looking back at him, “What for?”

“Well… I know a thing or two about hair,” Jonathan said running his fingers through his hair, “If you want I can cut it for you. Free of charge.”

Turning back around to take the bacon out and put the next strips in Sock glanced back, “What’s the catch? Are you going to give me a bad cut?”

“No, no, I would never. It’s just…  I don’t know. A small thank you for you cooking. I mean, I’m just standing here doing nothing.” Jonathan said motioning to himself. Sock smiled affectionately. Seeing him fidget at being rendered ‘useless’ Sock asked him to bring the plates down and pour the coffee in their mugs. Sock letting Jonathan drink from the TARDIS one while he drank from his Sherlock one.

Scrambling the eggs once the bacon was finished, Sock added his spices and served the rest of breakfast. Already by the table they started eating quietly as Sock watched Jonathan close his eyes and moaned. “Jesus Christ on a cracker, this is good.”

“It meet your standards?”

“Surpasses,” Jonathan complimented between bites, “I don’t know how you do it. It even taste better than the last time.” Blushing Sock coughed into his hand trying to displace his discomfort. It was just a compliment. No need to get so flustered. Shoving more food into his mouth Sock used it as a form of keeping the comfortable silence going.

Finishing up, Sock put his dishes in the sink and excused himself to go to the bathroom telling Jonathan he could have more coffee if he liked. Finally behind a closed door, Sock sighed out going for his comb as he brushed his hair. Satisfied to have it more manageable he went to relieve himself.

Now, what to do about my clothes. Sock couldn’t make it obvious by changing but he then remembered he needed to do laundry anyway and had no extra clothes to change into. Great, just great, I had to wait until the last moment to wash and now I’m spending my day doing laundry. I always do this to myself yet I never learn.

Squaring his shoulders he left the sanctuary of his bathroom and went to his room to lug his clothes to his washer at the corner of the apartment. Sipping from the TARDIS cup Jonathan raised his eyebrow when he saw the mountain of dirty clothes. Taking handfuls Sock just tossed clothes in as the water ran not really having a system of separating clothes. When the machine was full, he closed it and let it do its job.

“You’re just a messy person, aren’t you?” Jonathan smiled as he watched the spectacle and looked around the room at the messy state. Sock just flopped onto the couch covering his eyes with his arm. “Ugh, I hate laundry day.”

“Yeah, I can tell. Do you just wait until the last shred of clothes are used before you do them?” he asked but didn’t need a full reply when a groan did just fine. “Hey, do you still want that haircut? I already cleaned the kitchen if you want to do it there?”

“Wait, what? You cleaned the kitchen?” Sock got back up making a beeline to see that the dirty dishes were washed and put away as well as the counters and the floor looked swept. “You didn’t have to do that, Jonathan. I could’ve done that.”

“Eh, it was no biggie.” He shrugged rubbing the back of his neck. “Just go find the clippers and I’ll fix that mop full of hair.”

I don’t know how far I’m already gone that I’m contemplating letting him cut my hair. Walking back into the bathroom, Sock pulled out new clippers his mom sent him but never used. Bringing them back Sock sat down on one of the kitchen chairs and waited for Jonathan.

Closing his eyes, Sock tried not to make a sound when he felt the other male run his fingers through his hair. Don’t arch your back, don’t you dare arch your back!

“You’ll probably need to take off your shirt before I start,” Jonathan said as he stepped back fiddling with the clipper. Sock—more nervous than he should be—gulped as he grabbed the back of the shirt by the neck and tugged it off his head. Feeling more self-conscience Sowachowski sat up straight and ridged when the clippers turned on.

With his hair falling off to the sides as it gave phantom touches down his back and shoulders he thought, why do I trust him with my hair? Am I really that crazy!?

After ten agonizing minutes it was finally over. Feeling Jonathan run his hand through his hair again for much longer time than what was strictly needed Jonathan proclaimed he was finished and not to worry over the hair on the floor. That he would clean it up and to not even protest.

It’s like Jonathan read his mind because that’s exactly what Sock was going to do. Just before Sock stood up he felt Jonathan’s hands run over his shoulders and then down his back brushing the hair there. Suppressing a shiver, Sock stood up and pulled his shirt over his head feeling a little less vulnerable in his own kitchen fully dressed again. Thanking him Sock excused himself saying he needed to put fabric softener.

It wasn’t until reaching the bathroom did Sock see his new do. It was surprisingly good. It was a good look on him and way better than his old haircut. Sock stood by the mirror a few more minutes admiring it before scolding himself for staying in here too long.

Coming out to thank Jonathan again now that he actually saw his haircut Sock was greeted to a nice sight of Jonathan tidying up his living room. “What are you doing?”

“Tidying up,” he replied. “You have a lot of stuff laying around. Did you know that?”

There was a roar of panic flooding through Sock that had him paralyzed. It took a few seconds—that felt like minutes—before Sock was able to move again, “Stop. I-I like the mess.” Jonathan paused looking up at the other male when he heard how strange his voice sounded.

Seeing his face Jonathan put what he had in his hands down and nodded. “Sorry man. Just have this habit.”

“It’s okay,” Sock squeaked trying to get his constricted throat to relax. “I-uh just function better in a messy environment. English majors have a lot going on in our minds and it seems to translate to our home life.”

That got a laugh out of the blond. Smiling softly, Jonathan walked to the front door saying, “I had a good time but I should get out of your hair so you can do your laundry in peace. Bye.”

“Bye,” Sock echoed as the door closed and a big wave of mixed emotions passed. There was disappointment as well as relief there and longing and terror. Looking around his apartment he got this itch crawling through his skin at all the things Jonathan probably touched and moved.

He could’ve seen my stories. Now as much as Sock wanted to be a writer, he was still hesitant on who exactly got to see his work.

Between work, school, and homework, Sock Sowachowski had his work cut out. He also didn’t think Jonathan would show up again like he did when Sock was in his laundry-day clothes. But he was wrong, oh so wrong.

And like every time he showed up, Sock was surprised and unprepared to see him again.

You would think if Jonathan had been showing up for the last two and a half months he would expect it. However, Sock always thought when Jonathan left, that would be the last time. Every. Single. Time.

So like always, he was unprepared when an intoxicated Jonathan slumped by the door frame at midnight and smiled up at him like Sock was Christmas come early.

“Hey Sock, can I come in?” Jonathan slurred as he pushed himself off the wall he was leaning on and wobbled to stay upright. Instantly Sock reached for him before he tumbled. Ushering him inside Sock placed him on the couch going into the kitchen to get Jonathan’s blue mug as he poured him a glass of water.

Coming back Sock handed the drunk male who was currently prone on his sofa his cup. “Here, drink it.”

Wanting to swat it away, Jonathan didn’t have the coordination and let himself be babied into hydrating himself. Pushing the cup away when he was done Jonathan smiled crookedly as he patted Sock’s cheek with his palm. “You’re too good for me. That’s why I knew to come here than to Lil’s. She would have yelled at me.”

Sock just nodded trying to pacify Jonathan as he got up and went to get the ibuprofen. Jonathan would thank him later today when his hangover would be raging. Bringing the cup and pills, Sock had to cajole his suppose friend to take the pills.

After a minute or two, he did as he grumbled and flopped back on the couch. Just when Sock was getting up to leave Jonathan to crash, he felt a hand wrap itself on his right wrist and brought his attention to the hot mess that was Jonathan Combs. “Did you need something else?”

“C’mere,” Jonathan whispered as he waved his hand. With his heart picking up speed, Sock kneeled and got closer to hear what he wanted to say. “You’re a good friend. A really good friend and I’m glad I crawled into your window.” Smiling at the nice things Jonathan said in his drunken state Sock was unprepared, yet again, when he felt two hands grab his face and pull him in.

It was a sloppy wet kiss that didn’t last long before Jonathan released him sending one more smile and mumbled “missed you” before he clonked out snoring once more.

Easy for him to do, Sock thought as his heart pounded in his ears as he felt his body heat up making him tremble while he continued to kneel beside Jonathan. This was too much.

Feeling dizzy, Sock plopped his butt down on the carpet as he turned his back on the snoring blond. Trying to calm his racing heart, Sock grabbed is hair and pulled trying to bring his racing mind down too.

Not good, not good. He chanted under his breath. It wasn’t until this moment that Sock realized that he liked Jonathan just a little too much than was appropriate. He was trying to stop himself from shaking Jonathan awake to plant another kiss. Or ask what he meant by that he missed him.

Sock shoved himself away from his temptation and rushed to his room. Tonight was going to be one of those nights where he didn’t sleep. Looking at his table, Sock sat in his chair and started writing just to get the extra energy out of his system until sleep took him.

What am I going to do now?

Chapter Text

Sometimes I run, sometimes I hide

Sometimes I’m scared of you

But all I really want is to hold you tight, treat you right

Be with you day and night, baby all I need is time

Sock was not there when Jonathan woke up that morning. He made breakfast and left instructions with what to do if the food was cold. There were two more ibuprofen pills waiting next to the TARDIS mug, away from Norris and Cleo’s reach.

Sock hardly slept that night and was extremely relieved that he had a morning class he had to attend as his viable excuse on why he had left so early. But truthfully, Sock would’ve used any excuse not to face Jonathan and remember the kiss they shared.

Part of Sock didn’t want to know why Jonathan kissed him. But it was probably really clear. He was his good ‘friend’. So he didn’t want to humiliate himself by asking. Hell, there was a good chance Jonathan didn’t even remember it and Sock would rather act like it didn’t happen.

At school, he walked across campus going through the quad as he marched his way to McIntosh Hall for his Creative Writing class. His professor was already there as she wrote on the whiteboard the lesson for today. Finding his normal seat, Sock pulled out his notebook and started writing notes until class started.

“Good morning class,” Sock’s professor, Ms. Providence, greeted smiling coyly. “I see some of you had a late night. I’m hoping most of it was due to the unreliable narrative short story I assigned last week.”

There was a grumble of students moaning. Sock was one of them, he was having a bit of a difficult time on his final paper about that very subject. It didn’t help that he had a drunk blond knocking on his door at midnight and kissing him off his feet. Maybe I should write about that. Because that is pretty unreliable stuff.

“Mr. Sowachowski, would you mind reading the next passage on common mistakes writers make in description writing?” Professor Providence asked. Sock could feel his face slowly blush as he realized he hadn’t been paying attention and quickly looked back at his textbook to find the right section.

The rest of the class bled through until it ended and Sock started to make his way out when his professor called him back. “Yes ma’am?”

“Napoleon, I was wondering how your assignment was coming along. I’ve noticed you’ve seem to be struggling as of late. Is everything alright?” his professor asked concern clearly written on her face. Sock swallowed as he fiddled with his scarf that he put back on when he was leaving.

“Fine, everything is fine.” He said trying to brush her concern aside, “Just tired is all. And hitting a bit of a writer’s block.”

“Well,” she smiled, “the best way to combat that is by writing. Just write whatever you want, whatever comes to mind until that spark is back.” Sock smiled warmly thanking his professor again before he left going to his next class all the way across campus.

“You,” Lil said as she opened her door from her apartment grabbing his arm, “Get inside, I’ve been waiting impatiently for almost two hours for you to get back.”

Sock’s eyes grew large as he was hauled inside her place before she tugged his backpack off and removing his coat. She then pushed his shoulders telling him to make himself comfortable as she grabbed a bag of popcorn and putting it in the microwave. “What’s happening?”

“We’re hanging out.” Lil answered matter-of-factly as she busied herself in her kitchen. This has been the first time Sock’s been in her place and though they had the same layout—except hers was a mirror form of his—hers had a more cozy feel to it. Sure it was slightly messy but it looked very well lived in with its greens and purples and blue color patterns. The pictures hanging on the wall look like various people that resembled Lil.

There were also some classic metal postures hanging with Lil’s large CD collection cluttering the corner next to a boom box. “What exactly are we doing?”

“Watching the first episode of Sherlock of course,” Lil grinned. “They aired the third season today and I’ve been waiting for you so we can see how he exactly faked his death. Do you think John’s going to be mad or extremely happy about seeing Sherlock again? Oh my God, I can’t wait!”

Sock’s eyebrows shot up in surprise. The first episode already aired? He must’ve forgotten in his stress of the new term. “I… I hadn’t remembered that it aired today…”

“Oh good, then I did you a favor.” Lil smirked brushing her purple bangs to the side sitting down next to him on the sofa. “Popcorn. Soda. Let’s get this party started.” Turning to the TV, she clicked on the episode, and it started.

###

The episode was the best thing ever.

Everything, just EVERYTHING was great. How Sherlock got introduce, how he planned to tell John Watson he was alive. Pretty much interrupting John’s date (like always) and John’s reactions… BRILLIANT!

Lil couldn’t help gushing about it and Sock, relaxed, shared the same enthusiasm over the episode and couldn’t wait for the next one. Yawning, Lil apologized for keeping him so long—three hours—and let him go to sleep. Nodding tiredly Sock mumbled goodnight and walked the six feet that separated their doors and unlocked his door.

Setting his stuff down near the door, Sock went into the kitchen to fill the food bowl for his cats and the water. Bringing his Sherlock cup down, Sock smiled to himself, and poured himself some water. Tipping the cup drinking then placing it down, Sock went into the bathroom to relieve himself and take a quick shower.

Afterwards, he dried his hair half-heartedly and brushed his teeth. He shut the bathroom light off and made his way to his room. Going under his sheets, Sock closed his eyes letting a long breath out as he pressed his fingers over his lips.

It’s been over a month since the kiss but Sock could still feel it. And it didn’t make it any better that when he did run into Jonathan Combs—this time not at his place—he acted like nothing happened. Sock had to stuff his disappointment as he talked for a few minutes until he excused himself saying he needed to get to work.

Just as he was drifting off his phone decided it needed to ring. Groaning, Sock leaned over to grab his cell as he squinted to see who it was. Groaning again he pressed his face into the pillow as he answered, “This had better be good.”

“Well hello to you too.”

Sock rolled his eyes at her response, “Jojo, now is not the time. I was just about to go to sleep so make this quick.”

“Well then,” Joane huffed crossing her arms. Sock could just imagine her face even hundreds of miles away. “I was going to warn you about something but if you don’t want to know then be my guest.”

That certainly got his attention as he sat up, “What is it?”

“Oh now you’re interested huh?” Jojo complained but like a good friend continued, “You’re mother wants to visit her darling son. And she plans to drag me too. Now normally I would pitch a fit but I haven’t seen you in a long time so I agreed.”

“Jojo!” Sock exclaimed in distress.

“Hey, she was coming either way.” She answered in defense, “This way I’m there as a buffer when that boyfriend of yours comes over. I can distract your mother while you two make out in the living room.”

Sock’s rubbed his face with the heel of his palm in frustration. He had hoped his trip back home during Thanksgiving would’ve deterred her from coming here but all it did was provoke her. It didn’t help that he couldn’t make it for Christmas but he needed the extra credit for volunteering the day at the soup kitchen. “I don’t have a boyfriend Jojo, I’ve told you that before. And when exactly is my mother planning to visit?”

“Your birthday.” She quirked her lips at that. It took Sock a few moments to remember when his birthday was in relatives of today. In three weeks. Crap, what am I going to do now? It’s not like I can go there.

“Jojo, is there any way to stop her from coming?” Sock sighed feeling a wave of fatigue hit him. He was much too tired for this. “Can’t you tell her I’ll be too busy at college to give her the proper attention she craves?”

“What did you think I was doing before? Encouraging her? Hell no, I know you don’t want her over there but tough luck kid. You’re big scary momma is coming down to cuddle you to death.” Jojo cooed, “I suggest you get that blond cutie and kissed him with tongue in front of her to finally leave you alone.”

“You’re not helping,” he groaned. “Look, I’m going to pass out. I’ll call you tomorrow okay?”

“Your funeral Sowachowski.”

“Night.” Facedown on his pillow Sock gave a low moan before shutting his eyes and praying for help.

“J-Jonathan, what are you doing here?” Sock asked his voice going up an octave. This cannot be happening to me. It just can’t. Jonathan was wearing his normal clothes—blue jeans, white shirt, and a grey pea coat—and he was sober with a spark of good humor while Sock had on an ugly sweater his mom gave him and blue jeans.

“Who’s at the door honey?”

Jonathan raised his eyebrow at Sock. And to Sock utter mortification when his mother stood behind him and ushered Jonathan inside. Sock’s mother was dressed casually in stereotypical mom jeans, and a light blue blouse with a green cardigan under a flowery apron.

“Oh Nappy, is this one of your new friends? Welcome, I’m Rachel, Nappy’s mother. And may I ask who you are?” Rachel smiled shaking Jonathan’s hand as she ran her green eyes over him trying to decide if she liked him.

Sock felt like dying. He didn’t think his mother would use his embarrassing childhood nickname and saw the twitch in Jonathan’s mouth as he repressed that grin and gave a polite one instead. “I’m Jonathan ma’am.”

If the moment couldn’t get worse, Jojo’s entrance was too perfectly time to be anything but planned. The look of merriment in her crystal blue eyes was too much. Jojo had a short bob where her blonde wavy hair ended just past her chin. She looked like the cat that ate the canary. “Oh, we have a new guest. Might this be the infamous Jonathan?”

Joane ignored the glare sent from Sock. In frustration Sock left the room to grab Cleo. Jonathan laughed at Jojo’s comment and questioned why infamous. Sock’s mother went back into his kitchen cooking dinner as he sat at the farthest seat away while he sulked petting his black cat.

“Napoleon, you never told me how interesting Jonathan was,” Jojo chimed later with a mischievous glint in her eyes. She re-crossed her tight light blue jean clad legs bouncing her brown boots foot in his direction. He sent her another dark look before returning his attention to Cleo. She’s the only one who loves me.

“Are you here because it’s Nappy’s birthday?” Mrs. Sowachowski asked from the kitchen. Sock sank lower in his seat as Cleo jumped out of his lap. It would’ve been easier if the ground opened up and swallowed him whole.

Chapter Text

I know you, the gleam in your eyes is so familiar a gleam

And I know it’s true that visions are seldom all they seem

But if I know you, I’ll know what you’ll do

You’ll love me at once, the way you did once upon a dream

“I didn’t know it was his birthday actually,” Jonathan replied looking briefly at Sock before returning his glaze back to Rachel. The resemblance was uncanny. Rachel had Sock’s eyes and brown hair though hers was kept in a French twist and didn’t look like it would be in perpetual bed hair like Sock’s.

She just let out a long suffering sigh, “That’s just like him. Nappy didn’t want us to make the trip down for his birthday.” Rachel began sniffing in the beginnings of tearing up.

“Mom,” Sock exhaled feeling a little bit guilty over making his mother cry even though he knew she was faking it. “I didn’t want to bother you. It’s just my birthday, it’s not a big deal. You didn’t have to travel all the way here just for that.”

Jojo raised her brow at him. See what I have to put up with? She tried to convey as Rachel wiped her eyes with the end of her cardigan. “After everything I do for you, why wouldn’t you thank your mother for coming all this way? Children are so ungrateful these days.”

All three sat as she stormed off into the kitchen. Eyeing Jojo, Sock lowered his head in resignation before getting up to comfort and please his very distraught mother. All while leaving Joane free reign to question Jonathan to her hearts content because if Sock didn’t want him, maybe Jojo could take a stab at the blond cutie.

###

Knocking on the door twenty minutes later—after Sock had managed to appease his mother—he went to the door to answer. Sock didn’t expect anyone so he was more intrigue than anything at who it was. Opening the door to his next door neighbor Lil, Sock felt his stomach sit heavy.

“Hey, heard there was a birthday party to my favorite Sherlockian so I brought some drinks.” Lil smirked as she entered his place and greeted the other people.  Norris walked into the living room to see what all the big fuss was about before jumping into Jojo’s lap to sit like a king. The slight puckered look on Sock’s mother’s face was a clear indication for her non-approval.

“Mom, this is Lil, my next door neighbor. Lil, Rachel, my mother.” Sock introduced.

“Nice to meet you Rachel.” Lil shook Rachel’s hand.

“Call me Mrs. Sowachowski dear,” she answered politely. Jojo lifted her brows at Sock noticing the tone. He slightly shook his head at her direction. There was a chime from his jeans as he pulled out his phone seeing he had a new text message from Joane which he chose to ignore. “Napoleon honey, go put the drinks in the fridge.”

“Right,” he answered stepping up to Lil whispering, “Sorry about her. She’s really prickly with new people.”

Lil forced a smile, “Forget about it. I get that all the time become of my hair. It’s fine.” She turned walking to Jonathan’s side. “Johnny boy, it’s been a while.”

Joane got up from her spot to let the other two alone sliding to Sock’s side. “Dude, your mom was cold. And I thought your birthday party wasn’t going to be that interesting. Maybe I should befriend her. It’ll piss off your mother. Might protect my loins from her conversations next time.”

“Ugh, Jojo, you’re enjoying this too much,” Sock moaned as he put the twelve pack inside the fridge before pulling one out to drink. “I need to drink this night out of my head.”

“Hell no,” Joane stated taking his can out of his grasp and putting it back in before placing a Pepsi can instead. “I need you sober. Remember the last time you got really drunk? You took off your shirt and swung it over your head as you sang ‘It’s Raining Men’. And I have video proof.”

Sock cringed remembering the video she spoke of since the actual night ended for him an hour beforehand. “Right. Let’s never discuss that again.” Picking up three more Pepsi cans, Sock went into the living room to deliver said drinks.

Whispering to each other in what look like a heated discussion, Lil and Jonathan stopped when Jojo and Sock got within range. If the slight elbow to his ribs was any indication, Joane noticed this strange behavior too. Guess that solves it. They’re dating.

“I brought drinks,” Sock announced handing them out as he sat in the opposite couch pulling Jojo with him as he gave her the last drink.

Leaning forward and leaving her hand on Jonathan’s knee, Lil smiled, “Happy Birthday Sock.”

“T-thanks,” he stuttered trying to keep his voice from wavering. It was still there, Lil never pulled her hand from his knee and Sock tried to keep his eyes anywhere else. In his distraction he didn’t notice Jojo looking toward the kitchen making sure the coast was clear before she scooted over pressing herself against Sock.

Placing her hand over his she pulled his soda can toward her mouth taking a long sip from it not caring about sharing saliva. “Mmm, that quenched my thirst,” she purred.

He blinked at her feeling all kinds of uncomfortable as he quickly shot a worried look over his shoulder to his mom who hadn’t seen anything. When he turned around to look back at Jojo she pressed her lips against his. Pulling back, he stood up looking alarmed at his friend. “Wh-what was that for?”

She only grinned at him, “No reason.” Too busy not understanding her game he placed his half empty soda on the coffee table and made his exit toward the bathroom. Looking back he saw her pick up his can and while looking up at him licked the edge of the rim before tipping her head back and chugging the rest down.

In the restroom with the door firmly shut against his back, Sock worried what was happening. Did I get dropped into a different dimension where Jojo likes me like that?

The soft knocking shocked him out of his mind turning around and opened it. He was pushed back in when Joane kissed him again shutting the door behind her.

“Whoa, whoa,” Sock gasped as he pulled back from the predatory look in Jojo’s face. Clapping down his mouth with her hand she pressed him against the sink counter.

“I need you to be quiet, do you think you can do that?” she whispered authoritatively as he nodded quickly his eyes wide in fear. Releasing his mouth from her hand slowly Sock felt his belt being pulled open he struggled against her. “Oh calm down. I’m doing you a favor.”

“Like hell you are,” Sock hissed as he blocked her from unzipping his pants. “What are you doing?”

“Keep your voice down,” she hissed back. “I’m not trying to have my way with you, you know.”

“Then what are you doing?”

“Giving the illusion of it,” she answered as she pulled back and flipped her shirt off. Seeing her in her sports bra, Jojo tossed her shirt aside. Sock stood stock still his breath hitching in his throat. Coming back to him she pulled his shirt off before throwing it on the floor too.

Sock was practically wheezing as she walked up to him and pointed at his jeans, “Now drop your pants.”

“Why do I—?”

“—Just do it,” Jojo bossed as she slipped out of her pants and tossed them to the side before pulling herself up on the counter. When he finally did what was asked, abide reluctantly, he stood between her thighs. “Okay, now kiss me.”

She glared when Sock opened his mouth to protest and just grabbed him by his shoulders and slammed their lips together. Jojo was aggressive and kept him rooted wrapping her legs around and didn’t let up grabbing him by the hair so he wouldn’t turn his head away. After a minute she released him leaning back and smirking to herself.

“If this works, you can thank me later.” Hopping down Jojo went to retrieve and slid on her jeans then picking up her shirt and put it on inside out. Fully dressed again, Jojo ran her hands over her hair to get it messy. “When you come out in a minute, act natural. I’ll take care of the rest.”

With one final smirk and wink, Jojo exited the room. Swaying on his feet Sock leaned against the wall looking up at the ceiling. She’s mad, finally driven to insanity by my mother. There can be no other logical explanation.

Finally able to regroup himself, Sock pulled his pants back up and redid his belt before grabbing his shirt and pulling it on. Entering the living room, Joane was sitting on the same couch talking animatedly to Lil. Jonathan was the only one who turned and stared at Sock’s entrance his blue eyes cataloging the slight changes. Blushing, Sock pressed his slightly swollen lips together and sat down in his seat. Sock tried not to jump when Jojo squeezed his thigh while talking to Lil about a show they both seem to watch.

“Dinner!” Mrs. Sowachowski announced and you could practically feel everyone release the breath they were holding. Everyone got up and made space in the small table as Rachel set down the plates. “Joane, darling, why is your shirt inside out and wrinkly?”

Jojo pressed her lips together trying not to smirk and with innocent merriment said, “Huh, weird, I hadn’t noticed.”

###

Jonathan drank a lot and Lil had to excuse them as she tugged the inebriated blond out the door into hers. “Thanks for having us, Happy Birthday again. Have a good night everyone. Come on Johnny boy, time to sleep.”

“Bye!” Jojo waved, “By the way, we head out midday tomorrow.”

Lil, a little puzzled, slowly nodded and closed her door. Jojo turned to face Sock and smiled satisfied. “Oh yeah, you can definitely thank me later.”

“What do you mean?” he asked confused.

She just smiled to herself, “You’ll see tomorrow, mark my word, you’ll see.”

After a long evening working on his homework that backlogged from his birthday yesterday Sock finally finished and went to grab a small snack before bed. Making a quick PB&J sandwich he bit into it as he walked back into his room grabbing his PJs for a change of clothes.

Once the sandwich was eaten, Sock turned on the shower and brushed his teeth as he waited until the water was warm enough. Scrubbing his hair clean and washing his body he shut off the water. Using the towel to dry himself off before dragging the towel over his shaggy hair when there was knocking on his front door.

Sock cursed under his breath as he slid his briefs on followed by his grey sweatpants. Exiting the bathroom he started tugging on his old high school t-shirt when the knocking grew louder. “I’m going; I’m going, hold your horses.”

Twisting the deadbolt and unlocking the door Sock turned the knob and opened the door to whoever seemed impatient outside. Thinking it was someone who had the wrong door; Sock was surprised to see Jonathan leaning on the door frame. Guessing from the smell of alcohol waffling off of him, Sock would say he was drunk again.

“Jonathan…uh, come in, come in.” He waved him forward.

Pushing himself off the frame Jonathan took determined—if slightly wobbly—steps inside as he shut the door. Remembering to lock it those blue eyes pinned Sock to his spot. “Napoleon,” he said before erasing the space separating them, Jonathan spun Sock around and pressed him up against the front door crushing their lips together.

Fireworks shot behind Sock’s eyes as he felt Jonathan grab his wrists pinning them to the side of his head. Jonathan bit his lower lip as he tugged it and licked the seams of Sock’s lips trying to get inside. Pressed between two walls, one being the front door the other a warm chest, Sock more than welcomed Jonathan’s efforts and let himself be dominated by the blond.

Sock shuddered as Jonathan spread his legs apart with his knee and kissed him in earnest biting Combs’ upper lip. From the throaty growl, Sock licked the other’s abused lips as he rutted their hips together. He could already feel Jonathan getting hard in his jeans which seem to thrill Sock to no degree. Pulling back Jonathan’s blue lust blown eyes stared at Sock’s green ones. Finally releasing his wrists Jonathan took a step back pulling Sock with him down the hall.

“Mine,” Combs growled as he pulled Sock into another harsh kiss. “You’re mine.”

“Yours,” Sock rasped nodding, “I’m yours, of course.”

“Good,” Jonathan smirked pulling their mouths together and kissing him dirty with tongue and teeth. Sock was dizzy with lack of oxygen and the possessiveness of Jonathan. Pulling them down the hall they stumbled into Sock’s messy room. “Bed.”

“Yes,” gasped Sock as he took off his shirt he put on a minute ago. With another possessive growl, Jonathan bit his chin before kissing it and working his way down his throat running his greedy hands down Sock’s bare arms and chest until settling at his hips.

Sock panted as Jonathan’s mouth trailed down his chest licking his path and tasting the brunet’s skin. When he reached his sensitive nipple he licked and bit it smiling into the skin by how Sock seemed to be falling apart. Sock grasp at Jonathan’s jacket trying to tug it off. Obligating his desire, Jonathan discarded his coat and removed his shirt as well. Sock leaped at the chance at pressing hot open mouth kisses at Jonathan’s neck. Licking he tasted the tang of sweat and cigarette smoke from the bar Jonathan was at but underneath all of that there was a taste that was purely Jonathan.

Being pushed onto his back Sock watched as Jonathan undressed pulling off his jeans followed by his boxers. Feeling his mouth dry up at the perfection of Jonathan’s body Sock froze just staring. Jonathan let him stare for a moment before he crawled over Sock and gripped both sweatpants and briefs pulling them down his legs leaving him exposed.

Brushing their lips together, Jonathan brought his hand around both of them and squeezed. Slotting together, he sets the tempo sliding his hand up and down extracting ungodly moans from Sock’s throat. Covering his eyes with the crook of his elbow Sock shudders trying to keep himself from finishing too soon as Jonathan bit his shoulder.

“Come on Sock,” Jonathan whispered near his ear as he closed his teeth over his earlobe causing Sock’s body to arch up. “You’re so close. Sock, my Sock, just let go.”

Removing his arm from his eyes, Sock blinked up at Jonathan’s face seeing the pleased predatory look before he leaned down for another hot dirty kiss as he pick up speed smearing the pre-cum from both as lubrication.

With a jutting pulse, Sock gasped his release as Jonathan stroked him through it before he hit his. Satisfied and feeling like his bones have liquefied Sock lazily kissed his neck before wrapping his arms around Combs and falling asleep.

Chapter Text

Don’t put your lips up to my mouth and tell me you can’t stay

Don’t slip your hand under my shirt and tell me its okay

Don’t say you love me cause you know you’re gonna love me and leave

I can’t be alone with you...

The next morning, Sock woke up alone. Naked but alone with his sheets up to his waist. He sat up slowly trying to orientate himself. Looking at the messy state that was his room, Sock tried to find signs of Jonathan and finding none. It could mean anything. Maybe he went to buy food just like that time he came by. Trying to recompense about sleeping on my couch.

But that didn’t make sense, there was no need. Sock shrugged the dull ache in his chest and tugged on his discarded briefs and sweatpants from last night. When he went to look for his shirt he saw it in the hamper, soiled with last night’s foray.

Well at least there’s evidence that last night wasn’t some—abide vivid—wet dream. But then the million dollar question was: where did Jonathan go? Sock went out into the living room seeing it empty. Jonathan wasn’t in the kitchen, or the bathroom, or any other room in the apartment and Sock had to sit on the couch to hold himself together. Why did Jonathan run off on him?

Sock tried to keep his turmoil back while at work this morning and kept himself together at school, so by the time he got home he was a wreck. Big fat tears were rolling down his face as he clutched his chest trying to stop but failing. When the phone rang, he picked it up not knowing who it was since his eyesight was too blurry.

“You’re welcome,” Was the only greeting he got.

“Jojo?” he rasped trying to bypass the tightening in his throat.

“Oh shit, did I mess things up between you two because of the party?”

“What?” Sock asked rubbing the tears from his face as more took it place. “What are you talking about Jojo?”

“When I made them think we had sex in the bathroom, remember?” Jojo sighed worriedly, “Did Jonathan break it off because of me?”

“No?” Sock replied as he hiccupped. He had to look around his apartment trying to catalog what Jojo was saying. Was it really only two days ago when his birthday took place? It felt like a week ago.

“Then what? Why are you crying? What did that bastard do?” she asked indignant.

“Wait, is that why you cornered me in the bathroom? It was a ruse for him?”

Jojo puffed out a breath rolling her eyes, “Of course. I had to get him jealous enough to put the moves on you. That’s why I was talking to him at the party. To get intel, so, what happened?”

“Fuck Jojo, I don’t know!” Sock sobbed clutching his shirt. “He... he pretended not to know me. Even after... after we...”

“Jesus,” she hissed, “He slept with you and then pulled that stunt? What an asshole.” When Joane heard Sock sob harder quickly added, “I’m sorry.”

“No, no, it-it’s fine—I’m fine.”

“No, you’re not dude,” she exhaled wishing she was over there to comfort him because he greatly needed a shoulder to cry on. “I’m really sorry. I thought he would nut up and ask you out or even get you laid not... not this.”

“That’s messed up Jojo,” he sobbed-laughed rubbing his eyes with the heel of his palm. “I must be pathetic if I need my best friend to pretend to hook up with me just to get a guy’s attention.”

“You’re not,” Jojo objected, “You’re wonderful. That’s probably why your mother is trying to marry me off to you. Napoleon, you’re the best I’m going to get which is a shame I don’t have a dick between my legs.”

He laughed at that which was Joane’s mission. Trying to cheer him up despise the hundreds of miles apart. Sighing from her end of the line, Jojo braced herself for the next part.

“Hey, I always feel better after I vent it out. Do you want to tell me what happened?” Sock paused biting his lip as he contemplated whether he should or not. Feeling he needed to talk about what happened and maybe get some perspective he told her.

Sock had just got out of class and instead of grabbing the closest bus stop to go home he decided to walk partway. He really wasn’t in a rush to get back home. Back to his bed and all the questions that lingered unanswered. He texted Jonathan a few times but hadn’t gotten a reply back so he just pulled out his phone checking to see if he got a new text and just hadn’t heard it.

No new messages.

Kicking a pebble that was on the sidewalk Sock kept walking trying to clear his mind. Maybe Jonathan got an emergency call and he had to leave suddenly and his phone died so he couldn’t communicate. Or maybe he was already waiting at my place ready to explain.

Lifting his head up he picked up his pace trying to reach the next stop so he could get home. Once he reached it, another block down the road next to a bar and grill and convenient store Sock waited by the bus post looking up the road trying to see if the bus was coming. Hearing a ding from the convenient store’s door he glanced over and froze as his heart jumped up to his throat.

Jonathan!

Body immobile as Jonathan started walking in the opposite direction it took an extra ten yards for Sock’s vocal cords to unclench and shout out his name. When Combs didn’t react to it, Sock started jogging closer and called out his name again. That time he definitely heard it if the brisling of Jonathan’s shoulders were anything to go by. Picking up his pace Jonathan blithely ignored Sock. Though Sock knew he should let him go, he ran, convinced if Jonathan heard him clearly he would turn around.

“Jonathan!” he shouted louder and watched Jonathan stuff his hands into his jacket and run away as Sock stopped stunned. Jonathan ran away from him. He really did regret what happened between them if he didn’t make the effort to at least talk to him.

Sock felt like that clueless girl after a one night stand who didn’t get that the guy only wanted a quickie. Pressing his lips together he turned around and marched himself back to the bus stop keeping his tears at bay as they prickled his eyes. Alright, at least now I know why he was gone this morning. He regretted it, clear and simple.

Alright then. Everything was all right.

His writing was suffering too. Everything felt drabbed and even his professor noticed. The first time it happened Sock said he was just having an off day and Professor Providence excused it by saying it happens to everyone. The second and third time made her more worried. By the fifth time, she asked if he really wanted to be a writer. That hurt more than anything.

This thing with Jonathan had taken over more and more of Sock’s life and it was affecting his writing which was the one thing he told himself shouldn’t. Everyone back home was waiting for him to fail and he was failing. Not because he lacked talent, because before Jonathan, he was doing fantastic. But Post-Jonathan was dragging him down. Even his boss at work noticed the change.

Sock had even gotten into the habit of ignoring Jojo’s calls just because he couldn’t stand disappointing her about this. He was depressed which was just depressing. It was just one time. He rubbed his face trying to scrub the sleepiness out of his eyes and concentrate on his next ten page story about the life of a trash can. So far it was shitty stuff and he shook his head trying to remove the cobwebs in his mind until he struck gold.

Thumping his head on the desk, Sock called it quits. Running himself ragged wasn’t going to bring anything but him falling asleep at work tomorrow... or well today in a few hours. Turning off his desk lamp he got up and crawled under the sheets going to sleep.

###

A crash in the living room woke Sock up some time later. Groaning he turned on his back. Oh who cares what it was. Whether it was Norris in another hissy mood or a burglar Sock didn’t care. Let them rob him; he was too tired to care. Closing his eyes he heard steps coming up the hallway. Throwing his arm over his eyes, Sock waited to fall back asleep not caring that the burglar—because it definitely wasn’t Norris—made their way to his room.

Hearing the door open, Sock groaned, “I’m too tired for this shit. If you’re going to rob me, go ahead just keep it down.”

Not hearing the burglar take another step inside but hearing their labor breathing Sock took his arm off his face and sat up to stare at his intruder. Six foot one, blond, and most definitely drunk stood Jonathan. Sock blinked numbly at him for a few seconds trying to figure out if this was a hallucination from his very tired mind or if Jonathan was actually here.

Stumbling from the door, Jonathan sat down near where Sock’s knee was at as he leaned in and kiss the brunet. Sock stayed pliant as he felt Jonathan’s lips press against his but didn’t dare kiss him back. When Jonathan opened his mouth, Sock pushed his shoulder back.

“No, I’m not doing this.” Sock said watching Jonathan’s face trying to understand what was happening. Three weeks have gone by in radio silence and now, today of all days, Jonathan came back and kisses him like nothing. No way, nuh-uh, not unless he got some sort of explanation. “You can’t just come in here and do that.”

Jonathan placed his hand behind Sock’s head gripping his hair as he tugged him back into another.

“No,” Sock pushed him away. “After the stunt you pulled you don’t get to do this.”

Sock’s lips got crushed as Jonathan bit his lower lip and he trailed his tongue between the seams of Sock’s lips begging for entrance. Sock opened his mouth tasting the bitter tang of alcohol in Jonathan’s breath before pulling back cursing. “Fuck you Jonathan, you can’t just do that.”

“Napoleon,” he whispered on his lips.

“Don’t use that shitty name on me. My mother might’ve given me that name but I hate it.” Sock growled pissed off at Jonathan. Pissed off at his mom for giving him a name he hated. But mostly hating himself because he could feel himself trembling under Jonathan’s touch. Yes, he hated himself most for how weak of a resistance he was actually putting up.

“Sock, my Sock,” Jonathan whispered into his neck as he trailed down tugging his shirt up and over his head chanting, “Mine, mine, mine.”

“F-f-fuck,” Sock groaned closing his eyes as he gripped the blond’s shoulders as Jonathan’s mouth sucked Sock’s nipple. Lathering it he turned to give the other the same attention as Sock arched his back letting out a throaty moan. “I’m yours. Yours, yours, yours.”

That earned him a small bite at the side of his ribs as Jonathan went lower pushing Sock on his back. Kissing his way down Jonathan pulled Sock’s pajama pants down and nibbling at his hipbones and then opening his legs to lick his inner thighs. Panting, Sock squeezed his eyes shut as he trembled when he felt Jonathan hand closed around him stroking him a few times before feeling lips at the tip.

Sock opened his eyes wide as he let out a small gasp when he felt lips close in on him trapping him in warm heat as Jonathan sucked him down. Fuck, fuck, fuck, Sock chanted in his head as Jonathan licked underneath at the vein bringing him embarrassing close. Up and down he went pulling more punctuated moans out as he felt his body tensing up.

“I’m gonna, I’m gonna,” Sock warned breathlessly as Jonathan made a wetly popping noise his mouth pink and shiny with saliva.

“Well we can’t have that yet, can we.” He grinned kissing him and Sock could taste himself on Jonathan’s lips as well as the alcohol. It was a weird combination that seemed to intoxicate Sock for more. He heard Jonathan remove his coat as well as his shirt and pants leaving only a thin layer of cotton between them.

Flipping him around, Sock took command as he kissed his way down Jonathan’s torso giving his body the full attention it deserved. As he inched his way down his pecs, stomach and lower still, Sock teased him by only lightly brushing against his crotch before licking the sides of his ankles and slowly—crazily slow—up his legs. Just when Jonathan couldn’t take the teasing anymore, Sock rubbed his hand over the cotton stroking him while he worked on his inner thigh.

Finally satisfied with his exploration Sock pulled the elastic band down and tossed his boxers over his shoulder as he grabbed Jonathan and swallowed him without preamble earning a choked high sound from the recipient. Bobbing his head he took his cues from Jonathan with what he should do as he twisted his hand as he stroked until he could hear gasps from Jonathan that he was close before popping off.

Crawling up Sock kissed him as Jonathan gripped him and dragged his hand up and down more than ready to finish this. Following his example, Sock stroked until they were both on the edge and spilling into each other’s hands.

###

Sock was not surprised that he woke up alone again. Getting up he wrinkled his nose at his messy sheets and groaned because he had to do laundry now. Picking up his phone to see the time he cursed out loud at the time and dash into the shower butt naked.

Even with all his hurrying and skipping breakfast Sock was still thirty minutes late for work.

When the next time Jonathan—inebriated—showed up in his room for a hook up, Sock didn’t put up much of a fight. If this was the only way he could have Jonathan, then he would deal with it. And if he hoped Jonathan stayed the night, Sock was sorely disappointed every time.

Sock eventually realized that the only way to have Jonathan in his bed was under the influence and though he kept thinking he was taking advantage of him in his less than five senses Sock kept his mouth shut. Jonathan was an adult and he knew what he was doing if he woke up sober and yet still drank knowing he was coming here at night. Sock kept his mouth shut. Eventually he got a visit from a very sober Jonathan five weeks into their arrangement.

Chapter Text

You find yourself at my door,

Just like all those times before,

You wear your best apology,

But I was there to watch you leave

“Oh... what are you doing here?” Sock asked though he really meant was, it’s not nighttime and you can’t be drunk so why are you actually here? Jonathan rubbed the back of his neck standing awkwardly by the door like maybe he was regretting showing up. “It’s just that you don’t show up unless... you’re... hungry... um, do you wanna come in for breakfast?” Wow nice save there Sowachowski, really know how to not make this completely awkward.

“Ye-yeah, sure. Breakfast sounds good actually.”

“C-cool,” Sock stuttered as he stepped back to let him in. Keeping his hands in his pockets to resist grabbing him and kissing him senseless Sock turned toward the kitchen and turned the stove on warming the pan as he pulled more eggs out for scrabble eggs. “How’s life? Everything going okay? I haven’t seen you in months.”

Technically not a lie since they haven’t really had a proper conversation in almost two months. Jonathan relaxed playing into his role, “Yeah, life’s okay I guess. Started a new job last month, sales associate at the music store downtown, Music Surplus. You should check it out, it’s really cool. Uh, how about you, how’s college?”

Sock smiled as he scrabble the eggs, “Great. My professor says I’ve improved a lot in my writing. Says my stories are the best she’s read in—shit—never mind forget I said anything. Um, college is good. Work too, I got promoted.” Sock was already regretting opening his big mouth. He forgot where he was at and forgot that nighttime Jonathan is a completely different person from daytime Jonathan. If they were in a relationship it would make complete sense to talk about his writing but they weren’t so he shouldn’t.

“Writing? What stories do you write?”

“I said forget it,” Sock punctuated as he emptied the pan into a plate for Jonathan. He handed him the plate and fork as Sock went around him to grab the TARDIS mug for coffee. I can’t do this. Placing the mug on the counter he slid the cup over before walking out of the kitchen and closing himself off in the bathroom.

“I can’t do this,” Sock whispered as he clenched and unclenched his hands on the counter and stared at his own reflection. His eyes were wide and he could feel the prickling of tears in his eyes. He couldn’t pretend everything was alright when he could feel these feelings suffocating him on the inside. The only way Sock was able to keep them at bay at night was because he had an outlet of kissing Jonathan and running his hands down his back.

Sock had nothing this time around. Pretending that nothing was happening between them, acting like he didn’t know the taste of Jonathan by memory, was killing him. Sock didn’t realize until today how badly he wanted their no-strings-attached to have strings. He wanted Jonathan, all of him, not just nighttime him—not just drunk Jonathan, but sober, clear-eyed Jonathan.

“Fuck,” Sock said and because it seemed to help he said it again. Breathing in deeply he stood up straight pushing his shoulders back and left his sanctuary to talk to the blond who had a strong grip on his heart.

The kitchen was empty with untouched eggs resting on the counter next to the TARDIS cup.

“Fuck!”

“Wait, let me get this straight.” Jojo said leaning on his couch in his old home, while his mom was away running errands, because he ran home after his small meltdown in the kitchen last week. “You’re telling me after that dick pulled a dick move and left you high and dry to lick your wounds he sneaks back in and you, what, go for it. Not only is that a stupid idea on SO many levels but you agree to be his what? Drunk booty call? ...and when he finally deems to show his face in broad daylight and sober you freak and when you come out he’s gone?”

“Joane...” Sock warned.

“No,” she glared. “I’m ranting so you get to sit your butt there and listen in on all the ways you seem to fuck yourself over. Have you tried contacting him since the kitchen debacle? No, don’t answer. My guess is you send him a text which he most likely ignored. Did you call him is what I’m asking.”

“No,” he mumbled.

“Jesus Christ Napoleon. You’re a hot mess.” Joane covered her face with her hands as she groaned annoyed. “Go. Call him right now. In front of me so you can’t cheat. Call him right now. Decide if you want to let him go or man up.”

“You can’t be serious.”

“Call him now; put it on speaker so I know you’re calling.” Sock sent another withering look at her as he did what she ordered. The room seemed to echo as it rung once, twice before going straight to voicemail. Sock schooled his face trying to keep from crumbling.

“Oh...” Sock managed to say putting his phone down on the couch between them. “May-maybe he’s busy working or something and couldn’t answer my call. That might be it.”

Jojo shook her head at him trying to comprehend what happened to her friend. Why would he make excuses to her of all people when she knew the truth? But looking closer she noticed he was trying to convince himself more than her which was kind of sad to be honest.

“No,” Jojo stated as she grabbed his phone scrolling to his contacts before dialing from her phone. “We’ll see if he’ll ignore my call.”

“What? Jojo, no,” Sock exclaimed as he went to grab his phone but she dodged him easily and already had her phone ringing on speaker. His heart jumped to his throat as Sock heard it ringing ominously. One... two... three... four... he’s not going to answer—click.

“Hello, who’s this?” Jojo glared at Sock not to speak when he opened his mouth. She smacked him when he tried again. “Hello? Who is this?”

“Hello again,” Joane purred as she smirked while Sock watched helplessly as she narrowed her eyes at him. No talking, only listen, she mouthed. Sock, as reluctant as he was to give her full reign, stiffly nodded. I mean, she did get Jonathan to answer his phone while he couldn’t. That stung too. “It’s nice to finally talk to you one-on-one again.”

“...Jojo?”

“Oh good, you do remember me.” She grinned glancing at Sock with a knowing look.

“How did you get my number?”

“Well,” she said leaning back and getting comfortable. “I called you first through Napoleon’s phone but you ignored it. And why would you do that if you’re only friends? I originally thought maybe you were busy so I called you through this number and surprise, surprise, you answered.”

“I answered because I didn’t know the number.”

“You could’ve ignored it and let it go straight to voicemail if you really wanted. But you didn’t. So that begs the question, why did you ignore Napoleon’s call?” Jojo asked getting straight to the heart of the matter. Sock gulped when she nodded at him conveying without words that this was going to get ugly real quick.

“I am busy.”

“You can’t bullshit me Combs,” she strikes sitting up from the couch. “So I’m going to ask you again and I want the truth this time. Why are you ignoring his calls?”

“I don’t have time for this.”

“—He told me you know.” She quickly added before the blond on the other line could hang up. The silence that followed felt like an eternity wondering if Jonathan heard it or if he really did hang up before that. Sock held his breath not knowing which option he wanted. Did he want Jonathan to have heard that or not?

“Told you what?” the air came back into the room as Sock deflated still feeling on the edge.

“About your nightly visits,” Joane answered and ignored the panicky look on Sock’s face. Instead she forged on wanting Jonathan to finally admit it. To finally do something because this ambiguity was causing so much grief. Sock needed clarity, he needed closure. “And please try to reframe from denying it because it’s becoming quite tedious.”

“Jojo,” Sock hissed.

“Hush,” Jojo said as she covered the phone.

“Was that him?”

“Oh, did that spark your interest? Yeah, that was him, I told him to go back to sleep.” She answered without missing a beat, “I tired him out good. Guess I have to thank you for that. He really hit it out of the park if you catch my drift.”

She was trying to provoke him, Sock realized. Just like she got him riled up for his birthday she was doing it again. Sock could hear it in Jonathan’s breath that that got to him too. If he was jealous then there was still hope, right?

“Is that why you called, to gloat?”

“Actually no,” Jojo laughed, “Funny that you would think that. If Napoleon means nothing to you then why would this upset you? Can you honestly answer that to yourself?”

“It doesn’t bother me.” Denial.

“Really, then you wouldn’t mind if I make my claim on him.” Jojo said calmly which sent a chill down Sock’s spine. She sounded too sincere there. ‘You’re wonderful. You’re the best I’m going to get.’ Maybe Sock hadn’t noticed that Jojo liked him as more than just friends.

“Do whatever you want.”

“Fine,” Joane growled tired of his bull. “Napoleon is mine. And you are to stay away from him. You hear me? I don’t want you to fuck him up anymore than you already have Jonathan Combs. So, Stay. Away. From. Him.”

“It doesn’t matter. You can keep him for all I care.”

Dead silence.

Jojo looked up at Sock to see his eyes starting to water as he stared blankly at the wall. He didn’t make a sound as hot tears slid down his face, he didn’t even move just stared at the wall. Her heart broke for him as she watched her best friend fall apart without sound.

The last time she saw him cry like this was when his father walked out when he was eight. Jojo still remembered that feeling, the utter despair, of watching him cry yet not making a sound, of not moving, or not doing anything but staring off as tears slid down his face. She was just as helpless then as she feels now. And she really hated Jonathan Combs right now for making Sock catatonic.

“Sock...?” she said gently trying to coax him out of his state because who knew how long he would stay like that if she didn’t. He spent hours like that last time and for an eight year old that was terrifying. “Sock, honey, can you hear me?”

The wait for him to react felt forever as he blinked and turned his face toward her. “Jojo... I...”

“I know, I know,” she answered as she watched him squeezed his eyes shut and sobbed.

“Oh God, I’m... I’m sorry. I know you d-don’t wa-want me to—.” He tried to say between breaths as he sobbed in earnest. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry.”

She reached for him pulling him into her arms trying to provide a sense of protection, “Shh, shh, it’s okay. Let it out. It’s okay. I’m not upset; cry it out. It’ll make you feel better. No, I’m sorry.” Jojo let him cry not minding that her shirt was going to be soaked because she could feel her own eyes well up with tears. Napoleon was in pain and so was she.

Sock was only able to stay for another two days before he had to come back. However, if it wasn’t for work and school he would never come back. He already set Norris and Cleo down as they ran out the window eager to explore. The only silver lining in the trip back home was a change of scenery for his cats. They really enjoyed exploring new terrain but we’re more than happy to be back on their own turf.

Dropping his duffle bag filled with dirty clothes Sock stared at his small apartment with a heavy heart. This was the place he met Jonathan and spent majority of their conversations in and his best memories were in his bedroom. Sock had to shake his head from that train of thought and dump his clothes into the washer before putting detergent inside.

Walking down the path to the kitchen, Sock got himself some water from the tap before chugging it down. He really needed to clean up the place and since he didn’t want to let his mind wander he pushed up his sleeves and began.

###

His place hadn’t look so clean since he moved in. Most of the stuff was recyclable or trash and that cleared up a lot of space. Sock had even put another load of laundry and had his clothes currently drying when he got into the kitchen and started pulling out ready-mixed cookie dough.

I should probably bake some and go over to Lil’s place to binge watch Sherlock. Sock was desperate for some time away from his house and maybe Sherlock could help him forget for a few hours. Sock just itched to do something, anything, from thinking about him.

Thirty minutes later, Sock stood by the door waiting for Lil to answer with a plate full of cookies. “Hey.”

“Oh hey Sock. I didn’t know you got back.”

“Yeah, I got in a few hours ago. I baked some chocolate chip cookies.” He smiled lightly.

“Can’t go wrong with that,” Lil hummed as she stepped back, “Come in, come in.”

Sock took one step forward before freezing at what lay inside. He recognized that shade of blond hair anywhere and seeing those blue eyes rooted him to the spot. There suddenly wasn’t enough oxygen in the air as Sock felt his blood pumping faster and the itch under his skin to run away grew. “I... I just remembered I have to do something. Totally spaced, sorry. Here, have them.”

“You don’t want to come in even for a little bit?” Lil asked trying to coax him inside confused at the sudden change. “Jonathan’s inside too.”

“No, no. I just wanted to bring you these cookies.” Sock backpedalled taking two steps back. “You can return the plate later... but um, yeah, I gotta—bye.” Sock turned around turning the key back into the lock and rushing back inside slamming the door shut. He was leaning on it like any second Jonathan was going to push it open but Sock had to remind himself that he wouldn’t.

“He doesn’t care. He doesn’t care. He doesn’t care.” Sock whispered under his breath trying to bring his erratic heart back to normal. He banged his head at the door so he’ll have something else to concentrate. When he felt sparks of pain radiating from the back of the skull he exhaled.

Pausing for a minute, Sock grabbed his beanie and scarf before heading outside. “I need a drink.”

Sock waited, but he didn’t have to wait long for Jonathan to show up. He knew his pattern and Sock had anticipated it. Taking a good gulp of Vodka, Sock got up from the bed opening the door when Jonathan got close and tugged him inside as he open-mouth kissed Jonathan. Sock wrinkled his nose as he stepped away from Jonathan going to the side of the bed to retrieve his bottle.

“Here,” he tossed the drink, “You’re much too sober for this.”

Jonathan caught it by reflex as he blinked up at Sock before opening the bottle and swallowing two mouthfuls. He coughed as it burned down his throat. Sock came back taking the bottle from him to drink some more. Sock drank the Vodka like a pro not even coughing from the burn. Closing it and sliding it back to the bed; he grabbed Jonathan by his coat’s collar and pulled him back in for a kiss.

Jonathan resisted, being the more sober one of the two for once but Sock ignored him. Pushing his coat off Sock pulled his shirt up and over his head as he kissed down his throat. There was that moment of hesitation before Jonathan gave in and brought his mouth on Sock’s neck.

Sock hummed in approval as he turned them around pushing Jonathan on his back before chucking off his shirt and unbuckling Jonathan’s belt. With surprisingly steady hands Sock popped the jean’s button open and unzipped it as he pulled them off with his underwear. Standing back up Sock pulled his sweatpants off revealing he wasn’t wearing anything underneath. With a gleam in his green eyes, Sock crawled up to kiss Jonathan before working his way down licking, biting, and nibbling all Jonathan’s sensitive spots until he got to the juncture between his legs where he opened his mouth wide and swallowed him whole.

“S-Sock,” Jonathan gasped knotting his fingers in the brunet’s long hair as Sock’s head bobbed up and down bringing more rasped gasps and moans out.

Popping out wetly Sock wiped his mouth with the back of his hand before sitting up and leaning over to reach for a foil packet and a bottle of lube. Blue lust blown eyes watched mesmerized as Sock—with his teeth—ripped the foil packet open and slowly rolled down the condom on Jonathan. Smirking at Jonathan’s reaction, Sock rubbed lube on the condom before crawling up and lining himself up before he sank down.

The look of surprise on Jonathan’s face was priceless. Sock had already prepped himself and lifting himself to the tip before slammed his hips back down ripping out a loud groan from Jonathan. Setting a brutal pace Sock rode this freight train to its final destination rather quickly. Sock leaned in kissing the moan out of Jonathan as he gripped Sock’s hips tightly. Spent, Sock rolled off to get the wash cloth to wipe them down.

About to toss the soiled towel in the hamper, Sock was stopped by a hand wrapping around his wrist, “C’mere.”

Twisting out of his grasped Sock walked away tossing the cloth out and bending down to pick up his discarded sweatpants. Turning around coolly while shirtless with love bites all over his neck and chest, Sock smiled humorlessly, “This was the last time we were going to do this. I want you gone by the time I come out of the bathroom.” And walked out without a backward glance.

Chapter Text

So long, my luckless romance

My back is turned on you

I should’ve known you’d bring me heartache

Almost lovers always do

Sock stared out the window of his Fiction Writing class watching the squirrels run around and up the tree. It seemed more entertaining than his class today. Sighing he turned his attention back to his professor to try to write down some notes for an upcoming paper.

He was more than relieved when class was dismissed as he picked his notebook and packed it away. Stepping out of the room he was ambushed by two of his classmates. “Hey, you’re Napoleon right?”

“Call me Sock,” he said brushing his hair out of his face. It had gotten even longer since that night. I really need to go to the barbers today.

“Okay, um, I’m Missy and this is Kaila,” Missy, a blonde girl no taller than four feet nine inches, said before pointing at her equally short red-haired friend. “We were wondering if you wanted to study with us for the upcoming test. Kaila and I could really use some help and you seem so good at writing. Especially that story Providence read about the boy with his lost love. I cried—we cried—it was so sad.”

He smiled faintly remembering that story. He wrote it right after that night actually since he refused to go back to sleep and opted for getting a head start on his assignment. Sock thought about the offer, in reality he hadn’t been paying much attention as of late but it could be of mutual benefit, the study group. Nodding the girls seemed excited as they started hashing a timeline of when they should meet while he agreed with meeting up at Kaila’s flat since it was closer to campus. Agreeing to meet after he got out of work he smiled and waved goodbye.

Sock then walked to his next class.

###

Sock ran to catch Lil’s grocery bag from falling from her grasp. She smiled grateful as he plucked the keys from her hands and opened the door for her. Walking inside Sock set down her bag and keys on the table glancing around the room. It’s changed since the last time he was here; some new photographs had replaced the old ones and her living room layout.

“Thanks for rescuing me,” she sighed happily.

“It’s was no big deal,” Sock commented as he stepped back. “I should get going.”

“So soon?” Lil blurted sounding hurt.

He turned around blinking surprised by her tone. Sure he hadn’t talked to her much but that was because he’s been busy now with midterms on their way. “Yeah, I was just planning to change clothes and go. I have a study date.”

“Right, right, sorry,” Lil said glumly. “It’s just that I haven’t seen you since before you went back home for three days. And that was over a month ago.”

“I know, I’m sorry, I’ll text you tomorrow about when I’m free so we can hang out and watch some Sherlock. Sound like the plan?” Sock smiled trying to coax a smile. Lil narrowed her eyes at him before grinning and wrapping her arms around him. “I’ll take that as a yes?”

“Take that as a hell yes. Dude I’ve missed you, you jackass.” Lil said walking Sock out while he went to his door opening it. “I feel so abandoned. First you, then Jonathan.”

Sock bristled at that, not having thought of Jonathan since that night, he’s been blocking him out of his mind. The soft blond strands between his fingertips, his soft pliant lips skating across his skin, those blue eyes dark with desire… Sock mentally shook himself before berating at falling into that pit hole. “Yeah, so I gotta change. Text you tomorrow.”

“You better or I’ll kick your ass.” He laughed hallow before closing his door while he tried to control his panicky mind from the flood of images he’s been blocking.

“How are you feeling?”

“I’m good Jojo.” Sock sighed, “I just have a heavy workload because this is my last term. I also have more expenses with a few textbooks that set me back a bit. So stop worrying, you’re going to sprout grey hairs and then where will we be? Is my mother still hounding you about your reproductive organs?”

“Ugh, don’t remind me. She told me today about how I was wasting eggs and future grandchildren. Please tell your mother to back off from my ovaries, they give me enough pain as is.” Jojo sighed melodramatically. “So he hasn’t showed up by your place?”

“Nope,” he answered knowing there was no point in swaying her from questioning. “Hey I gotta go, I told Lil we’d hang out and watch Sherlock. Take care of yourself and watch out for my nefarious mother.”

“Oh you just laugh it up and I hope you enjoy your show you jerk.” She said with a smile before hanging up. Sitting on his couch Sock slowly sat up as Cleo jumped from his lap after getting her ears rubbed. Making sure the cats had enough food and water he locked his door behind him. Knocking on Lil’s door he only waited outside for half a minute before the door swung open with a pale purple haired Lil.

“Oh good you’re here. Before we watch Sherlock can you help me dye my hair?”

“Uh, sure.”

“Awesome.” Taking his wrist she started ushering them to the bathroom as Sock tried to push the last memory of Jonathan’s hand on his wrist asking him to come closer away. When in the bathroom she threw a towel around her shoulders after she handed him the bottle of dye and gloves. Getting himself ready he started applying the dye with his gloved hands.

After a messy fifteen minutes everything was done and they were sitting comfortable as they started watching the first season. Lil told him to keep watching as she went to take a shower to wash the dye off. After a while Sock paused it to get something to drink. Entering the kitchen he got a cup and filled it with water still hearing Lil in the shower.

Washing the cup he placed it in the drying rack as Sock turned around to go back into the living room when he noticed a photograph he hadn’t seen before. It should’ve been an innocuous picture, it was in an old frame with a younger smiling Lil who was holding the camera when the picture was taken but it was who she was with that shook Sock to the core. There he was, a younger smiling carefree Jonathan kissing Lil’s cheek, both very happy and laughing.

Sock closed his eyes trying to keep the pain in his chest from radiating outwards. I shouldn’t care, I’m over him. I have to be. He didn’t hear that the shower had turned off nor that Lil popped out changed as she walked into the kitchen to see why Sock wasn’t in the living room watching Sherlock.

“Hey,” she said softly.

Sock jumped as he placed the frame back in its place, “H-hey.” He cleared his throat, “How did your hair turned out?”

Glancing behind him, Lil saw the picture he was staring at when she walked in. Looking at him she raised her brow at the fidgety way he was acting. Sock tried not to make direct eye contract for fear she might read the unexpected hurt there. “Good, it should stay for a good while before it fades out. Do you want to see more Sherlock? You were getting to the part where the cabbie kidnaps him.”

“Uh, yeah, that’s the good part. Especially where John saves Sherlock,” Keeping his back to the picture frame Sock was able to breath better the farther away he got from it. How did I not see the signs that they were together?

Sometime later after they finished the first episode and onto the second one Lil paused it, “Do you want to talk about it?”

“About what?” Sock furrowed his eyebrows at her.

“The picture you saw in the kitchen.” He had momentarily forgotten about it but at the mention of it, it all came rushing back. The awkwardness and the stiff posture of his spine made him look away. “Because I can explain it for you so you don’t get the wrong impression.”

“No, I’m fine. You don’t have to explain anything to me.”

“But I really think I should, especially with what’s between you and Jonathan.”

Sock snapped his head toward her in mild shock as his heart started thumping in his chest loudly, “W-w-what do you mean? Did he say anything?”

“He didn’t say anything,” Lil smiled lightly relaxing on the couch, “But I didn’t need him to say anything. You do know I can hear you guys, right?” Sock’s eyes grew wide with his heart palpitating and his breath coming out in short pants. He stood up and ran out mortified that she could hear them. This entire time Sock thought he was being careful with what went on between them and that only they knew—well plus Jojo—he had no way of knowing that Lil knew too. Or that she could hear them!

Thinking of the picture in her kitchen, it made it so much worse that she knew all along. Suddenly all those looks she gave him in the past made sense.

Missy and Kaila took him to a club trying to get drunk and he watched bored wishing he was back home. He thought they were going to have a study session but it turned out to be a night out. If that was the case, he would’ve finished the worksheet he had due next week so he could pull more hours at work. Resting his head on the counter he groaned when Kaila came back trying to drag him to dance.

He shook his head trying to be the responsible one when he caught a flash of blond hair that sent the hairs on the back of his neck up. Kaila squealed and clapped her hands when Sock finally allowed himself to get pulled in. The dance floor was extremely warm with all the bodies pressed closely as Kaila brought him into a small group of other girls with Missy. They all cheered when he showed up as two girls plastered themselves against him.

Though feeling uncomfortable he tried to ignore it as he tried to lose himself in the music and the rhythm. Sock felt someone wrap their arms around his neck a second before they pulled him down for a kiss. Tasting sugar plum lip gloss made him want to recoil from her, whoever she was, but her grip on him was strong and the taste of alcohol in her breath was mixing memories for him.

When he was finally allowed air he glanced down at his kissing partner seeing bright baby blue eyes and strawberry blonde hair. It seemed to throw him off balance. He had to excuse himself from the group as he slowly moved back to his spot by the bar.

When he heard girls cheering Sock turned back to see his group cheering as the girl that kissed him was currently kissing another stranger who seemed more than willing to stick their tongue down her throat. The shock of blond hair had Sock looking closer to the details of said stranger as he recognized Jonathan.

He didn’t dignify a second glance as Sock got up quickly and leaving the overcrowded club.

Out in the fresh air, Sock took a long drag of air filling his lungs. There was no reason to stay here, he could go home if he wanted and that’s what Sock set out to do. So he’s not sure how he ended at a gay bar, drunk, and singing karaoke.

###

Sock didn’t want to sober up so he was a little annoyed the bartender cut him off but the guy outside, named Phil, let him take a swing from his flask. When Sock took a sip of it he started coughing at how strong it was. “Is that gasoline?” he wheezed.

Phil only smiled cheekily, “It’s moonshine, boy. Ain’t you ever tried a man’s drink?” Sock only continued to cough as he glared at the old man before stretching out his arm asking for another swing. “Atta boy,” Sock suppressed his reflex of spitting out the burning liquid out as he took swallow after swallow of moonshine. “Okay, stop showing off.”

Sock smiled as he let his throat burn feeling the alcohol cloud his mind in its familiar buzz. “Damn it Phil, did you give him moonshine?”

“Ah come on Phineas, don’t get mad, the kid ask for some. How could I resist.”

“Oh course he asked, I cut him off almost an hour ago to sober him up enough to make it back home, wherever home is.” The bartender said frustrated and looking down at Sock who was slumped against the wall by the side of the bar.

“You should’ve seen him, chugging moonshine like a natural. It was beautiful.”

The bartender, Phineas laughed, “I could’ve told you that. He can drink pure Vodka without batting an eyelash. Thought he was drinking like the cure of cancer was at the bottom of the bottle. Reason why I had to cut him off. For his own good.”

“Not cancer,” Sock slurred, “just wanting to forget.”

“Okay Napoleon, let’s get up. You need to head home.” Phineas said grabbing the very tipsy male up and throwing Sock’s arm over his shoulder. “Where do you live?”

Sock turned his head to snuggle on the bartender’s neck. “I don’t wanna go home, can I go to yours?”

Phil barked out laughing before whistling, “Not shy this one.”

Phineas narrowed his eyes at the old man before shifting Sock’s weight again to keep him from falling. “Hey I’m going to check your pockets to find your wallet so I can find your address alright?” the only response Sock gave was to start kissing his neck. Trying to keep his cool, despise Phil crackling and being utterly useless, Phineas found Napoleon’s wallet and finally found the address and was surprise Napoleon wasn’t lying. The bastard really did live three blocks from here.

Napoleon started nibbling on his ear whispering naughty things he was going to do to him later that made Phineas blush scarlet. Phineas really needed this guy back home now before he got felt up by this frisky drunk. And it wouldn’t be the first time it had happen in the bartender’s life.

“Melto, taking another drunk back home.”

“Taking this drunk to his home,” Phineas replied naturally. He already was used to Jonathan Combs’ banter on this subject that he didn’t notice his frisky—if somewhat cute—drunk had stopped what he was doing and was trying to pull away. It wasn’t until Zack Phineas Melto felt a sharp pain on his side that he finally let go. Sock stumbled away using the wall as the only means to walking. “Ow, that hurt you know.”

Sock didn’t acknowledge him as he leaned heavily on the wall trying to keep from hurling on the cement and making his way back home even if it killed him.

“Sock?” bristling at his name, Sock pushed himself off the wall and booking it not making it five feet before he stumbled and fell.

“Get the hell away from me,” Sock growled when he felt those hands on him. He swatted them off as he pushed himself to sit against the wall. Sock covered his face with his hands as he laid his elbows on his knees. There can’t be anything worse than being this drunk—this vulnerable—in front of Jonathan. Sock had been doing so well avoiding him so far and tonight of all nights he ran into him. Fuck his life. And it was a blessing that he passed out then and there on the wall outside a gay bar where he’d made a complete ass of himself.

Chapter Text

I used to live alone before I knew you

I’ve seen your flag on the marble arch

Love is not a victory march

It’s a cold and it’s a broken Hallelujah

The pounding in his head was painful as it pulsed. Sock was now regretting his decision to getting shitfaced last night. Slowly so as not to upset the monster of all hangovers Sock sat up and braced himself until the world stop spinning and he could keep his dinner down. Oh yeah, so not drinking moonshine again.

“Welcome back.”

“Oh God,” Sock groaned covering his ears wanting to hide forever. “What are you doing here?”

“I’m here because you drank yourself into a stupor and needed to be carried in.” Lil said matter-of-factly before pinching her lips together. “You should probably drink this as well as these.”

Sock slowly opened his eyes to see his Supernatural mug filled with water and some Tylenol pills. Taking them Sock popped the pills in and chugged the water greedily relishing the cool crisp taste compare to the cotton balls that’s currently residing in his mouth. While still hesitant about getting up he did as he made the long journey to the bathroom. When he got inside, he brushed his teeth and relieved himself. Walking back out Sock made his way into the kitchen.

Nothing helped cure a hangover better than some breakfast even if the thought of food made his stomach turn. Lil already had a plate ready for him and though he thanked her he was still hesitant in eating her food. “Why are you being so nice to me? And how did you know I was drunk.”

“You obviously don’t remember much about last night do you?” the look of utter confusion from Sock quickly turned into horror as the pieces fell into place.

###

Sock eventually came to when he got back inside his place. Opening his eyes he shoved himself off of Jonathan’s hold and stumbled and slammed into the living room wall. Glaring at the blond, Sock made the effort to stand up without his help as he tripped over his feet and fell in the hallway. When Jonathan went to help him up, Sock swatted his efforts and got up again, leaning heavily on the wall for the rest of the trip.

Sock angrily took off his coat getting more annoyed when it got stuck around his arms. Jonathan had to gently walk up and help him while Sock glared at him then the coat growling under his breath. When the coat was finally off Sock went to removing the buttons of his shirt fuming when his fingers kept fumbling.

“Here, let me,” Jonathan said brushing Sock’s hands aside. This has been the first time in a long time where they stood next to each other, much longer since Jonathan was sober. However, this seemed to annoy Sock more because he was defenseless against the onslaught of emotions from rushing back in. The pain was acute and Sock swatted his hands away as he took two steps back.

“Get away from me.”

“I’m trying to help,” Jonathan said in frustration.

“I don’t need your help,” Sock huffed struggling unbuttoning his shirt as he got more frustrated at his useless fingers.

“Clearly,” Jonathan sarcastically added pointing at Sock’s hopeless process before rolling his eyes and stepping up to the disgruntled brunet. Sock glared and seethed as Jonathan quickly opened his shirt. Turning around Sock walked to his closet picking up a pair of sweats and t-shirt.

Tossing his long sleeved collar shirt on the floor, Sock angrily put on his clothes and turning around to noticing Jonathan was still standing there. “Okay, your civic duty is done, go back to your pretty little blonde.”

“What blonde?”

Sock scoffed, “The one you were tonguing at the club. And don’t try to deny it, I saw you.”

“Who you kissed first,” Jonathan argued back, “Or did that slip your mind.”

“She kissed me.”

“You really want me to believe that?”

Sock pressed his mouth together. “It’s not like it matters anyways. We aren’t anything to each other.”

“Because you broke it off,” Sock stood there speechless for a few seconds. Because of me, really because of me? He’s joking.

“You’re joking right?” Sock almost sneered curling his hands into fist, all the pain finally bubbling to the surface because Jonathan finally wanted to talk about it. Then fine, they’ll talk about it. “I only did it because of you. Because you didn’t want me anymore. You casted me off the first chance you had!”

“—Alright, alright boys, break it up.” Lil said walking into the room. Sock stared at Jonathan for a moment longer before turning away in disgust. No one moved for another few seconds before Sock heard the distinct sound of Jonathan’s footsteps walking out and slamming the front door.

The door slamming echoed inside Sock’s mind remembering all the mornings he woke up without Jonathan. Him walking away, shutting doors that kept them always at arms’ length. It wasn’t Sock’s fault they were like this, he tried to make it work but Jonathan. He just couldn’t commit and Sock was tired of waiting. It was messing him up, making him into someone he wasn’t.

So why did it still hurt? I’m over him, aren’t I?

Sock could feel sobriety clearing his head as the flood of emotions finally wrapped him up, the tide he’d been keeping at bay finally crashing over him. He was drowning, gasping for air, looking for something to cling on to but finding nothing. Tears slid down effortlessly as he walked away from Lil stumbling for his bed instead.

Sock whimpered closing his eyes shut. Oh why did it hurt? Why did it still hurt so badly? Brushing his hair to the side, Lil sat on the other side of the bed slowly running her fingers through his hair while he cried. She quietly sang the lullaby version of Carry On My Wayward Son.

Eventually his tears stopped and Sock’s breath evened out by the fourth rendition.

###

Sock felt unease sitting by the table with Lil after his demonstration from last night. Who knew how much she heard and comforting him as he cried. Glancing down at his plate he forced himself to eat when he realized that Lil was just being helpful. She even brought him the Supernatural cup instead of his usual Sherlock one. He can still remember her singing the song.

“I want to apologize for what you might’ve heard last night. And having to stay afterwards to take care of me,” Sock spoke quietly but loud enough for Lil to hear. She looked a little ragged, like she hadn’t gotten a good night’s sleep and it was most likely his fault. “I’d also like to thank you for making breakfast even though you didn’t have to.”

“Sock stop,” Lil sighed placing a hand on top of his. He tried not to flinch but she still noticed. “I don’t want you to apologize. I was more than happy to help you. We’re friends right? If it was the other way around you would do the same so I don’t understand the formality.”

“Because you’re his friend. It stands to reason that you would be on his side.” Sock said glancing up to Lil’s hazel eyes. “I’m right aren’t I? You’re on his side.”

“I’m not on anybody’s side. I’m just a friend comforting another one during a low period of their life.”

“Thanks for that,” Sock quipped back sarcastically. He was already shutting down. “I need to get ready for work soon so I’d get out of your hair.”

“Damn it Sock, that’s not what I meant.” Lil exhaled sitting up as he stuffed his face with eggs closing his eyes at the roll his stomach made. He was not going to throw up. No way, he was going to work even if he was hung over. “Can’t we talk about what happened?”

“There’s nothing to talk about. I was drunk, I said weird things. Cried for no apparent reason and now I’m getting ready to go to work even if my head explodes.” Sock said between mouthfuls while Lil looked on frustrated. Finishing up Sock picked up his dirty plates and placed them in the sink washing them and putting them on the drying rank.

Against Lil’s protest he took a shower and changed into his work clothes. “Sock we really should talk about what happened last night.”

“Sorry can’t talk, heading to work.”

“Just call in sick,” she replied following him out the door.

“That would be abuse of the workplace,” Sock rebutted as he locked the door. “I gotta go, thanks for breakfast. Get some sleep. Bye.”

“Goddamn it Sock!” Lil shouted as he jogged away avoiding their talk for many more hours. As well as the shooting pain every step made to his head.

In hindsight maybe Sock should’ve stayed and talked to Lil because when she’s mad she gets creative. And her outlet takes many forms and she somehow manages to bring the worst one for you. Sock had arrived home from working an eight hour shift to refill his cats’ water and food bowl following by a shower and a small dinner since he was in no mood to cook. He only got to finishing his shower and drying his still long hair when Lil was knocking on his door.

“Don’t you dare ignore me. I know you’re home so come and open the door,” Lil threatened.

Rolling his eyes, Sock did as she requested and unlocked his door. Glancing down at his outfit of white basketball shorts and dark green Army Brat t-shirt the look of humor on Lil’s set a frown on his face, “Really, Army Brat?”

“Jojo gave it to me as a gag gift.” Sock explained crossing his arms. “Is there a reason why you were demanding I opened my door?”

“I need you inside my apartment now.”

“I haven’t eaten dinner yet.”

Lil grinned, “Good, I made something. So move your butt Sowachowski, you don’t have a valid excuse anymore.”

“Maybe I don’t want to go,” Sock replied as he slipped on some shoes and a light jacket remembering to grab his keys.

“Then I’d tell you too bad,” Lil answered as she grabbed him. Twisting the knob, the door opened and she shoved him in there first closing and locking the door behind them. Turning his head to glance at her he shook his head and walked into the kitchen and froze seeing the other guest Lil decided to invite to her little foray. This was a set up. Sock glanced at Lil who was guarding the door as she narrowed her eyes at him. “I arranged this meeting because both of you need to set the record straight. I’ll be outside so don’t even think about escaping.”

Sending another pointed look at Sock, Lil opened the door and left. Waiting for a moment, he made his way to the door as he heard her voice ring from just outside the door, “Don’t even think about it Sowachowski. Sit your ass down and talk.”

Glaring at the door, Sock turned around and walked back into the kitchen. Ignoring Jonathan, Sock picked up at bowl and poured himself some chicken noodle soup his headache a dull ache now with all the water he’d drank today. Sitting down across to the side of Jonathan, Sock angled himself away eating his dinner in silence.

Not more than two minutes later Lil shouted, “I don’t hear any talking!”

Swerving in his seat, Sock yelled, “Quit eavesdropping, I’m eating my dinner here.”

“You can eat and talk, smartass.”

Sock took another spoonful of soup before looking up at Jonathan. Though he didn’t mean to he couldn’t help but catalog the small changes of him. His hair being slightly longer than the last time, blue eyes lined with fatigue, a set of resignation on his shoulders that if they were still friends Sock would ask but now seem like it wasn’t his place. “Hi.”

“Hi,” he said back his voice sounding tired too.

Sock pressed his lips together before eating again. Another five minutes went by when he finished eating and putting the bowl in the sink. “Lil wanted us to talk, so go ahead, start.” Pausing for Jonathan to talk but he shook his head. “Alright, guess I’m going to go first.

“Tell me why.” When even that didn’t get him to talk Sock curled his hand trying to stop the impulse of grabbing him and pressing him against the wall demanding answers or kissing him. “You know, I was okay accepting my fate at just having met you hung over in my living room the first time. If you didn’t want to keep talking to me I would’ve been fine. I wasn’t expecting you to anyways. I was also fine just being your friend. There didn’t need to be this between us. So I have to ask, why, why did you do it? Why kiss me.”

“...”

“Goddamn it Jonathan, fucking answer me.” Sock almost shouted finally losing his cool and taking the space between them as he grabbed his upper arms. “Why did you do it? Why would you do that? You knew the way I felt about you.”

“Because I couldn’t give you what you wanted,” Jonathan finally answered fire in his eyes. “What you were asking of me I couldn’t give you.”

“All I was asking was for you to give us a chance, a real chance. Not whatever we were doing between the nights.” Sock said his voice cracking as the prickling of tears stung his eyes. He let go of Jonathan’s arms. “I just... I just wanted you to stay the night.”

“I can’t.” Jonathan whispered touching his forehead with Sock’s and closing his eyes in defeat. “I can’t.”

“Can’t or won’t?” Sock hissed wanting to recoil from his touch yet staying rooted to the spot as he cupped Jonathan’s face.

“Both.”

“Fuck you,” Sock stepped back looking devastated as he choked back a sob. “I fucking loved you and you know it. You should’ve let me go a long time ago not strung me along for weeks. You bastard, you asshole, I wish... I wish I never met you!”

Sock withheld the urge to slap him as he turned around and pulling the door open seeing a wide-eyed Lil. Going around her he pulled out his keys and struggled to put the key in and after missing three times finally wrenched it open ignoring Lil’s pleas and slammed the door. Going to his old walkman, he pulled the old headphones on and blasted the music full blast listening to his old Panic! at the Disco’s CD.

Sock went around the apartment locking every door and window making sure no one would enter tonight as he bawled his eyes out. His last hope shattering as well as his heart.

Chapter Text

Take me to church

I’ll worship like a dog at the shrine of your lies

I’ll tell you my sins so you can sharpen your knife

Offer me my deathless death

Good God, let me give you my life

The rapid tapping on his door brought Jonathan back from slumber. Dragging his hand over his tired face he felt stubble there, he hadn’t shaved in two days. Rolling his eyes Jonathan heaved himself up from his beaten old recliner making his way to the door. When he opened it he regretted that decision when he saw a purple-haired women standing. Before he had the chance to close the door on Lil—and she did not look happy—she pushed her way in wrinkling her nose at the smell.

There were several empty bottles of beer scattered around the room indicating last night’s drinking. Jonathan could feel the beginning of a headache behind his eyes but knew better than to point it out to Lil. He would not get any sympathy points.

“Are you fucking kidding me,” Lil breathed out her voice in disbelief. Whipping back to Jonathan’s tired blue eyes her hazel eyes steeled jaw clenching. “You’re still drinking?! After the shit your father pulled you’re more than happy to follow in his fucking footsteps!?”

Jonathan bristled at the mention of his father. The old man might’ve finally kicked the bucket three years ago but the subject was still a no-go and Lil knew that. “Lil,” he warned.

“Oh, finally struck a nerve, did I?” Lil sneered a bit. “Well you deserve it. That was a fucked up thing you did to Sock.”

Ah, and here’s subject #2 of things not to mention in front of me. Jonathan narrowed his eyes at Lil. This was not his morning and she didn’t seem to care. Jonathan turned his back to her picking up the bottles needing to clean up, a habit he can thank his father for installing.

“Do you even care what you did to him?” Lil said after a minute of silence when he returned to the living room. “Sock’s a mess since you left.”

“It’s not my problem,” Jonathan mumbled. A moment later he was shoved onto his couch with a seething Lil towering over him.

“Not your problem. Not your fucking problem!? Are you kidding me?” Lil growled. “I just talked to him. Sock is still hopelessly in love with you. And I know you are too. So do yourself a favor and pull your head out of your ass.” Lil walked out toward the door and opening it before turning back around to stare at him, “Please think about it before you lose him too.”

The door echoed as she slammed it shut. Jonathan groaned closing his eyes as her voice resonating inside his skull. He couldn’t do it. I mean, look at all the shit I did. I’m exactly like my father. I would only continue ruining Sock more than I already have. And yet... Jonathan felt selfish. He didn’t want to let Sock go. He couldn’t. Sock was too engraved into his DNA. But he had to let him go. There was no way Jonathan was going to drag Sock down with him.

He couldn’t commit. He couldn’t hurt Sock like his father did to him...

Jonathan ran his hands over his face before skating over his blond hair. He needed to take a shower and clean himself up before he went to work. And shave too.

“...Fuck you... you bastard, I wish I never met you...”

Jonathan snapped his eyes open his breath coming out in pants. Sock’s broken choked voice fading into the recess of his mind. His heart lurching at that moment. Jonathan could feel the stinging of tears in his eyes as he turned to his side squeezing his eyes tight. He didn’t know why this was affecting him; it was over two weeks since Sock uttered those words. Twelve days since Lil’s abrupt visit. And a full week since he gave up drinking.

Drowning in alcohol wasn’t helping him in anything except an early grave like his father. Which Jonathan was trying to separate himself from. He might be living in his old house again but it wasn’t anything like his childhood. There was no more yelling. No more alcohol. No more of that misery that plagued this house or at least not the misery of pain, just heartache.

He was going to get himself better. He had to. He was going to do it; Jonathan was going to fight his demons. His heart gave a pang reminding him of his loss. Sock would probably have moved on before he pulled himself together.

Lil’s voice echoed in his head. Please think about it before you lose him too.

Jonathan closed his eyes in defeat, It’s too late; I know I’ve already lost him, Lil. Just like I lost you too all those years ago.

He was at work re-shelving when Jonathan heard the doorbell jingle. Thinking nothing of it, he continued working as Dan, his co-worker, handled the new customer.

“We have a problem.” Lil announced moments later. Jonathan stood up brushing his hands on his pants before giving her his full attention.

“Oh hey Lil, pleasure to see you again. No, yeah, my day is great thanks for asking. What brings you around here? There seems to be a problem, oh do tell.” Jonathan mocked his blue eyes bright. Lil didn’t look pleased at this and her face read as much. He sighed, “Okay, I’ll bite, what’s our problem?”

“Sock,” Jonathan bristled. His whole demeanor changing from relaxed to stiff.

“Lil, I thought we agreed not to—.”

“—He’s moving.” She interrupted, “Sock is moving out. I saw the boxes this afternoon and I came all the way down here to tell you. He’s fucking moving out in a week.”

Tears sprang out of Lil’s eyes genuinely upset over the news and she had every right to be. She was really close to Sock and liked watching Sherlock and fangirling over it. Jonathan felt his stomach fall and felt a tightening in his throat. He hadn’t thought the news would affect him so much.

Six weeks didn’t feel too long in his road of recovery. He wasn’t ready yet and it seemed his time was up. Sock had moved on—literally—he’s moving on. And until this moment, Jonathan held a candle that Sock would still be there but he was deluding himself. Sock was too good for him. A hundred—no—a thousand times better and of course he would move on—of fucking course—he would get sick of waiting for Jonathan to get his shit together.

“Aren’t you going to say something?”

Jonathan lowered his shoulders in defeat, “What do you want me to say? Good for him for getting his shit together and doing the smart thing and moving on?”

“You’re not going to do something?” Lil said in disbelief. “You’re already throwing in the towel!?”

“Lil, it’s for the best,” Jonathan reasoned. “I’ve done enough damage. He’s better off without me.”

“Bullshit,” Lil hissed unshed tears in her eyes. “Sock’s waiting for you. He’s still waiting for you to go to him. You’re going to lose him if you don’t go. You’re going to regret it for the rest of your life.”

Before Jonathan could mutter a word, Dan interrupted, “Miss, is there anything I can help you with?”

Lil stared at him for a few seconds before nodding at whatever his face said and turned around. “Yeah, I was actually looking for a record from Def Leppard.”

“Oh it’s over in this section.” Dan grinned ushering Lil to the other side of the store. Jonathan stood still for another moment before reaching down and re-shelving again. Jonathan had to decided, he had one more week before his last chance left for good.

Sock is still waiting for you. But would he still like Jonathan with all his faults? Would Jonathan be able to commit, knowing that he might become his father? Can he risk hurting Sock again?

Jonathan had a lot to think about in the next seven days.

No, I can’t do it. Jonathan should just let Sock go. He hasn’t talked to him in almost nine weeks and even then it was after a month of silence. If he was noble he would have let him go without contemplating it. Let Sock live his life away from him. It was better this way.

Then why was Jonathan having doubts? Was he being selfish by wanting to go to Sock or selfless?

“Fuck,” Jonathan exhaled collapsing on his bed as he yanked on his hair. Sock was leaving tomorrow and Lil had urged him to stop Sock again just this afternoon. She told him Jojo would be there too that she had been staying at his place all week. And that brought up jealousy in Jonathan like he could not believe.

The blonde woman with her short hair and baby blue eyes taunted him. He could still vividly picture her smug look after she came out of the bathroom. Jojo’s pink lips swollen from Sock’s kisses. Oh the flood of jealousy then had lead to him drinking just to get the courage to knock on Sock’s door and kiss him. To possess the brunet who had been haunting his dreams for weeks. And lo had his mouth been heaven. Jonathan could still taste him, he still craved Sock. His bones ached wanting to hold Sock in his arms; even if it was just for awhile because Jonathan could never stay the night. He couldn’t trust himself not to leave if he did.

He needed alcohol at the beginning, just so he had something to blame when he woke up later but that lie never could stick long when in the wee hours of the morning he wanted to kiss Sock awake for another round never satisfied. Sure Jonathan managed to stay away for a while the first time but eventually he couldn’t and he just kept coming back to Sock’s warm arms. Sock was his piece of heaven and Jonathan was selfish in wanting to be there every night. Until he made the mistake of showing up sober.

He had wanted to see Sock like before, like the beginning of their friendship but it was no use. He wanted to grab Sock and press him to the counter and lick his way inside his mouth. To hear all the noises Sock made while he trembled in Jonathan’s hands before he surrendered and reached his climax.

Jonathan cursed under his breath. No, he had to let Sock go.

Turning over, Jonathan hit his radio to play. Getting comfortable he listened to Mr. Brightside as it finished and the next song slowly took its place. Hoobastank, The Reason.

And suddenly, Jonathan changed his mind.

Chapter Text

Loving can hurt, loving can hurt sometimes

But it’s the only thing that I know

When it gets hard, you know it can get hard sometimes

It is the only thing that makes us feel alive

Sock’s living room was a mess. Norris was not pleased being caged in all night. Even Cleo joined in some of the destruction. Sock let them out in the morning and they ran out, happy to be released. Making coffee Sock went to the bathroom to scrub himself clean. Today, there will be no more crying. Today, he would move on.

When he got back into the kitchen and reached for his cup Sock saw the blue one resting there innocuously. A wave of tears had him choking back the lump in his throat. Sock reached for it pulling the TARDIS cup between his hands. Tempted to chuck the cup to the wall and smash it Sock quickly hid it under the sink. Out of sight, out of mind.

Grabbing the Sherlock cup Sock poured his coffee and drank it quickly, he needed to get out of here before Lil ambushed him again.

Sock was looking for new apartments two days later when he heard Lil knocking on his door. Knowing he had postponed this meeting for as long as he could he got up from the table and hid the Rental Guide before going to the door to answer.

Lil’s eyes looked determined and were surprised that Sock actually answered the door instead of ignoring it. The lapse was momentary as Lil pushed her shoulders back. “We need to talk.”

Sock pressed his lips together saying, “I don’t want to talk about it,” while he opened the door for her to enter anyways.

“I don’t care,” Lil replied as she walked in and sat down on the sofa patting the seat next to her indicating for him to sit down. “I need to talk.”

Sock, resigned, closed the door as he brushed his hair off to the side. He still needed to get a haircut and with his hair so messy, Sock had gotten to wearing at hat to cover up most of his crazy hair. Sitting down near Lil, Sock blinked those tired sad green eyes at her. He braced himself for the topic his been dreading. Jonathan Combs.

“I’m... I’m not excusing his actions,” Lil sighed rubbing her right hand over her left arm as she glanced around the room. She took another long breath in trying to prepare herself for what she was going to say next. “I just wanted you to know why.”

Sock had every intention to stop Lil right there, he didn’t want to know anymore but the vulnerable look she gave him spoke volumes. He forgot for a second that she had also dated him, and it’s in the past tense, that look could only be from the past. There is past hurt and guilt and for a moment Sock could see the young girl in the photograph, carefree and in love with the boy who couldn’t commit.

“Jonathan...” she exhaled looking at her hands that were resting on her lap, “Back when I met him in high school he was quiet, reserved. It took a long time before he came out of his shell.” She smiled at that remembering a time Sock wasn’t there to see and how he longed to. “There was... this hope in his eyes, I never understood it. More than our peers had but I never could figure out why. It wasn’t until we started dating that I found out.

“Jonathan never wanted to hang out at his place and at the time I thought it was normal. Maybe his parents were really strict and base on how I was dressed maybe wouldn’t approve,” Lil laughed before her face turned serious as she turned her eyes on Sock. “He didn’t want me to meet his dad.

“That, that sick fucker,” She shook her head in anger as her hands curled into fist. “Did you know he used to beat him? I... I fucking cried when I found out. And do you know how I found out Sock? Jonathan accidently exposed his bruises. I... I told him he should report his dad but he wouldn’t budge.”

Sock leaned over and wiped the tears that were rolling down Lil’s face. He could tell even years later it still ate at her. She was choking back the rage and the helplessness while Sock wrapped his arms around her. “I’m sorry, I didn’t know.”

“Of course you didn’t, I’m the only person who knows.” Lil said as she sat up and wiped her face clean. A new determination back on her features, “When that asshole wasn’t beating the shit out of his own son, he was off nursing a bottle of Jack and gambling his money away. There was a time where Jonathan didn’t eat for two days because there wasn’t any money for food. When I found out, I started inviting him over for dinner and wouldn’t take no for an answer.”

Sock laughed because Lil was still like that. He had a lot of new information on Combs and why he did some of the things he did but his past couldn’t excuse the actions of now. Lil could see that. “Wait, if his dad was an alcoholic why does he drink?”

Lil groaned as she rolled her eyes, “I tried to get him to stop. I understand a drink or two but when he gets that drunk I worry. I worry he’s following in the footsteps of his father. That’s one of the reasons why he always had this need to clean and feel useful. His asshat of a dad always threw bigger tantrums when the house was a mess and always targeted him.”

A new insight brought a memory of Jonathan tidying up. Jonathan always feeling awkward when he wasn’t doing something and his need to clean... it was installed from an early age, a way to protect himself from his father’s rage. His father’s fist. Sock’s stomach rolled just thinking about it. It probably also explain why he couldn’t commit. Jonathan couldn’t bring himself to be that vulnerable again or become just like his father.

Sock thanked Lil.

“So, will you give him another chance?” Lil asked hopeful as she stood next to the door.

Sock shook his head as he saw the crescent fall in Lil’s face. “I need him to be comfortable dating me and from what you’re telling me, he won’t.”

“But—.”

“—I know,” Sock said softly his shoulders drooping. “But I was becoming somebody else and I didn’t like it. I was this needy unstable person and that’s not okay. If Jonathan was able to firmly commit to me I would take him in without a second thought but that won’t happen and I really do need to move on. For both our sakes. Maybe in the future we can be good friends, just not right now.”

Lil wanted to argue on Jonathan’s behalf but she understood. She was in the same boat with Sock two years prior. Nodding, Lil hugged Sock wishing him luck as she walked back into her flat.

“So you’re serious about moving out?” Jojo asked over the phone, “After you graduate, right?”

“Yeah,” Sock replied as he stirred the pasta sauce making sure it didn’t burn at the bottom. “Are you coming down for the ceremony?”

“You bet’cha,” Jojo grinned, “I’ll even drive down in my big old truck so I can pack your shit up.”

He laughed turning the stove off and taking the sauce off to the side, “Hey, I should go. I’m going to eat dinner now.”

“Oh fine, fine,” Jojo answered, “One question. How’re you holding up?”

“Good,” Sock replied as he strained the pasta before putting it in his plate and adding the sauce.

“So no visit from Jon—.”

“—Please Jojo, don’t mention his name.” Sock urged. “My day gets significantly worse when you do that.”

“So you’re not over him?” Jojo asked her voice going up an octave.

“Jojo, can we not do this this time,” Sock answered feeling his hands begin to shake and had to put down his plate for fear of dropping it. “What do you want me to say? No, I’m not over him? Even though I haven’t seen him in six weeks? That even after what Lil told me I still keep waiting for him to show up like an idiot?” The beginning of tears stung his eyes. “Fuck Jojo, I-I can’t. This is too difficult for me. This is why I need to move out. I need a fresh start.”

Sock hung up not waiting for Jojo’s response. He cursed again when he knocked over his beverage all over the table. Sock sank down on the floor, his fingers having a death grip on his long hair. Fuck, fuck, I thought I had a better control over this. It’s been long enough. I just have to wait two more weeks until graduation then another week to turn in my keys. I can manage to keep myself together until then. I have to.

Sock didn’t tell Lil he was moving until a week prior when she saw the boxes of his stuff littering his living room. Her eyes were sad when she saw this and Sock looked a bit guilty for not telling her sooner. Lil understood even if she didn’t want Sock to leave.

“I get it,” Lil whispered to his ear as she hugged him.

It was great that Jojo decided to stay the week after he graduated. It was an even bigger surprise that she was going to start renting his place after he left. Jojo said she needed a change of scenery. And a break from his mother.

She also said that at least she’ll know her next door neighbor. Sock quirked his mouth up at her antics and settled for getting the next box into Jojo’s Ford truck. It was a heavy one but with a little maneuvering Sock was able to lift it high enough to get it inside the truck’s bed.

Turning around he ran into the one person he’s been hoping to avoid today.

“Hey,” Jonathan said.

“Oh, um, hey,” Sock mumbled looking completely awkward; he glanced back at his apartment with his front door completely open. Jojo decided to poke her head out to see what was taking him so long to return. Even from this distance he could see Joane narrowed her eyes as she made her way toward them.

“Combs,” Jojo shouted as she got closer catching Jonathan’s attention. She punched his arm...hard. “That’s for fucking him up. I told you not to do that.”

“Jojo!” Sock protested.

“What? I’m defending your honor. I gave him fair warning.”

“There’s no need for you to defend ‘my honor’.” Sock blushed shrinking away from them both. He could already feel another itch crawling under his skin. Though it was great to see Jonathan again and cataloging all the new changes, like his hair was shorter, he didn’t look so tired like last time, and did he lose some weight?

Jojo just sniffed acting offended before walking away, “Don’t screw this up because there’s more where that came from,” one more long stare before she went inside leaving the two alone in the parking lot.

“I’m sorry about that,” Sock said his face pinched with embarrassment and anxiety.

Jonathan lowered his head as he pressed his lips together trying to suppress the smile that wanted to creep up. “It’s nothing I didn’t deserve.” Glancing back up those same blue eyes rooted Sock to his spot. “You’re moving? Where to?”

Courtesy dictated that you tell them where but survival instinct didn’t. Sock needed to survive. He pressed his lips together and shook his head. “I don’t think that’s a good idea.”

Shifting away from the blond, Sock stepped back as Jonathan touched his hand. “Wait.”

“Please,” Sock pleaded feeling his heart speed up at the mere contact. Jonathan obligated and let go of Sock as he pulled out his phone.

“I wanted to say... look, I don’t know how exactly to say this so I’ll let this song tell you for me.” Those blue eyes pleaded as the beginning started playing with a guitar then drums and piano following afterwards. Sock recognized it as an older song, one he heard in his teens. Jonathan sang along with the song meaning every single word.

I’m not a perfect person
There’s many things I wish I didn’t do
But I continue learning
I never meant to do those things to you
And so I have to say before I go
That I just want you to know

I’ve found a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
And the reason is you

Sock started crying as Jonathan stepped closer cupping his face. Sock tilted his head up so Jonathan could rest his forehead with his as he continued to sing the next part.

I’m sorry that I hurt you
It’s something I must live with everyday
And all the pain I put you through
I wish that I could take it all away
And be the one who catches all your tears
That’s why I need you to hear

Sock squeezed his eyes shut as he felt Jonathan rub the tears away with his thumbs. His heart was still pounding in his chest. This was too much, Sock couldn’t imagine having this much happiness. It felt like a dream come true. He could feel Jonathan’s lips lightly teasing his as he sang the chorus.

I’ve found a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
And the reason is You

They kissed while the song kept playing. When they pulled back Sock looked up in wonder and disbelief. This couldn’t really be true, could it? Looking to the apartment where you could hear clapping, Jojo and Lil cheered before high-fiving each other.

“It’s about damn time!” Jojo exclaimed before whispering something to Lil as they nodded and went inside his apartment.

“Is this... what I think this is?” Sock asked turning back, “Are you giving us a real shot?”

“If you’ll have me.”

“Of course,” Sock grinned pulling him into another kiss. The song carried on as they both properly rediscovered each other’s mouths and made some rated R sounds. “Mine, mine, you’re all mine.”

“Yes,” Jonathan exhaled kissing him again. “I’m all yours.”