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Language:
English
Series:
Part 19 of The Orion Chronicles
Collections:
Discord Community Archive, /r/fanfiction Pledge 2022-2023, Gravity Falls Writing Guild Library
Stats:
Published:
2022-11-28
Words:
1,188
Chapters:
1/1
Comments:
27
Kudos:
43
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2
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972

Crepulent

Summary:

Dipper and Pacifica face up another mighty challenge together. A story taking place during one of their teenage summers.

Written for the r/Fanfiction discord server 2022 Pledge.

Notes:

Crepulent: A combination of two words – Crepe and Cromulent (acceptable or adequate). Thanks to CrepeChan for inspiring this fic's title!

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Work Text:

They had fought the most vengeful of ghosts. They had uncovered and taken down a formidable network of an underground candy smuggling ring. They had fought against the hordes of giant grasshoppers invading the town.

But none of these could be compared to the challenge the couple were facing right now. Dipper’s aching stomach was rippling in protest as he lifted another cream-filled forkful. Through his watering eyes mingling with the beads of sweat running down from his forehead, his girlfriend Pacifica was already turning green, trying to shove down another bite.

“Go on, Dippy and Pazzy!” Mabel cheered. “Show the others who’s boss!”

This was far from just a challenge. This was torture. Terrible, tumultuous torture. Worse than going through Grunkle Stan’s 1001 Yuk 'Em Ups.

How did they even get to this?

It was another Wednesday afternoon. Which meant time off for Pacifica, who was already approaching her first year of service in Greasy’s Diner. As per usual, Dipper and his family arrived for their lunch.

But Dipper could not shake off that foreboding feeling of dread as he entered the restaurant. Especially with his sister’s broadening grin as they made their way to the Diner earlier. He knew that smile. And that twinkle in her eye. Whatever it was, it was nothing good.

He barely managed to greet his girlfriend before Pacifica’s boss, Susan Wentworth, whisked the couple to a table away from the rest. Pacifica and Dipper exchanged confused glances as Susan gave her lazy eye wink at Mabel, who was close to bursting with laughter.

Confusion turned to realisation and horror as a gigantic plate of a heart-shaped crepe cake, layered with cream and stuffed full of fruits, chocolate, cookies and marshmallow, was served to them. It was then Dipper was aware of the other couples seated around them. Blubs and Durland were chatting over lasagna coupons behind them. Soos and Melody had just arrived and took their seats in front of their booth.

Mabel and Grunkle Stan were exchanging smirks. Grunkle Ford could only offer an apologetic smile and a thumbs-up.

It was too late. The doors had closed in on them. The Crepulent Couple’s challenge had begun.

Neither he nor Pacifica had planned to do this at all, despite Mabel’s urging for the past few days. Both sat with a stubborn resolution, not picking up their forks while the others began.

“Come on!” Mabel prompted. “If you two win, then your picture shall be on the wall as this month’s couple winner!”

“And if we don’t?”

Mabel flashed a sly grin at her brother. “Then I shall remain your official couples’ photographer until your wedding.”

Both sighed. Did they have a choice? Dipper picked up his fork and both started to tuck in.

Already both had gone through half of it, but they only had fifteen minutes left. At the table behind, Blubs and Durland were already two-thirds on their way in. Soos and Melody were only a couple of bites away from finishing, but they were taking it slow, allowing their contestants to catch up.

His small frame was not at all compatible for this eating challenge. But Dipper had taken it upon himself to eat as much as possible, sparing his girlfriend much of the torture. Despite his crepe-filled stomach firing numerous warnings to his brain begging him to stop, he pressed on. This was just a case of mind over matter, after all.

“C’mon, there’s not too much left. You totally got this! Finish it!” Mabel pumped her fists up and down. “Do it! Do it! Do it! Do it!”

However, Dipper’s overloaded digestive system had other plans. Bubbling forth like magma, the layers of cream and berries battled for each other in his cramped stomach as he stuffed more of the dessert. He froze, trying to suppress the revolt fermenting in his gut, but the pressure in his gut only intensified. He felt very much like a volcano ready to erupt.

And that was what he did eventually. To everyone else’s horror, the Crepulent competition soon became a Crepe-tastrophe as Dipper failed to leave his seat in time…

“I’m so sorry about your uniform, Paz.”

“Never mind my uniform! Susan can get me another. Besides, we’ve faced stuff grosser than this,” Pacifica remarked as she wrapped up the plastic bag containing her ruined uniform. “What about you? Are you feeling better now?”

Unable to hold himself any longer, Dipper deposited an unpleasant mess of half-digested crepe and cream, and Pacifica got the worst of it. Thankfully, Susan had spare uniforms allowing Pacifica to change out of her ruined uniform. Meanwhile, in the staff break room, Stan and Ford looked after Dipper, who was still mortified as to what he had done. They left to give him some time alone with Pacifica.

“I’m fine.” Dipper gritted through his teeth. “Just... Don’t mention anything about food for the next couple of hours or so.”

“You sure? Are you able to get up?”

“Yeah...” Dipper got up with a slight wobble. “We might have to call off the goblin hunt.”

Pacifica smirked. “Silly dork.”

As they made their way out of the break room, they were stopped by Mabel.

“Paz, you wouldn’t mind if I talk to Dip for a while about something? Something important.”

“Oh-”

“It’s alright, you can go ahead first.”

Pacifica nodded, leaving the twins alone.

“So… about just now… I’m sorry.”

“Sorry for what?” Dipper managed a feeble smile.

“For forcing you two into this challenge. Like, I wanted to prove that you two are the power couple of this summer! But… I might have gone overboard, haven’t I?”

Dipper considered telling the truth, but seeing how miserable and sorry his sister was, he instead said, “It’s alright… at least I’ve managed to try this new crepe cake. And it's delicious too. Just…”

Mabel rushed forward as Dipper took in a sharp intake of breath.

“It’s fine. False alarm.” Dipper waved her off, despite the ominous rumblings from his stomach. “But I’m tired.”

“Seeing how much trouble you’ve put yourself in for this challenge, I promise I wouldn’t bug the two of you for the rest of the summer, alright?”

Dipper doubted his sister might uphold this promise, even if it’s for the two weeks left for the summer. Still, he said, “Ok… But if you do bother us in any way eventually, you’ll be the one taking up the next round of this challenge, alright?”

“Hey, you sure don’t need the doctor?” Stan interrupted at the door. “Either way, we have to go.”

“Sure. Wait, hold on-” Dipper bolted his way to the toilet. Both Mabel and Stan reeled back at the loud relching sounds that rent the air.

“You have went a little wee bit overboard today, Mabel,” Stan grunted.

“Agreed.”

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Notes:

CrepeChan, to whom this work is dedicated, is a fellow dear writing friend I have the fortune to meet. She's a sweet and nice person with a quirky personality, having offered great support to my works especially through her deep insightful comments. Her other works are outstanding with a distinctive dreamy quality and I hope to emulate her style. In all, she is the friendliest person I've ever met, very open-minded and understanding, and I'm greatly honoured that my works inspired her to also write for Gravity Falls.

To Crepe, good luck trying to crack the message!
(lqvhuw ixqjxvghdwk jli hprml)

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