Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

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🎸

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Eddie spoke to him for the first time in their form room.

September brought about a new set of challenges. It had been easy to forget about the problems that school created when he was able to surround himself with his friends. Endless movie nights with Chrissy and Gareth were easy – even if Gareth had lately become something of a movie snob. Chrissy would just snort and make fun of him. She painted her own nails, then offered to paint theirs. Over the summer, Eddie had readily agreed. The weekend before school started again, he hastily scrubbed off the black polish, his heart only a little bit broken.

It wasn’t that he was closeted. Oh no, that cat got let out of the bag last year. It had been torture. It started out as hushed whispers in the corridor, “Oh, did you hear? Eddie Munson got caught kissing a boy!” and “I always knew there was something weird about him, he’s too camp to be straight”. Then, it got outright hostile.

Tommy was his biggest problem. He was on the rugby team and apparently the fact that there was a gay kid in the year above him was the biggest threat to his masculinity. It never got too out of hand, but Tommy spat venom at him whenever he passed Eddie in the corridors, and it had gotten pretty old pretty fast. 

But it was September.

Eddie hoped that meant a fresh start. 

In some ways, it was. He noticed that there were less stares as he walked through the corridor to his form room. That was a nice development. The summer holidays must have given everyone a chance to be okay with the absolute scandal that was a gay person in close proximity to them. Relieved, Eddie let out a breath of air that he hadn’t realised he’d been holding and the tension dripped away from his shoulders. 

Some things were the same, namely the absolutely disgusted looks he got from Tommy. 

Eddie sighed and checked the corridor for any signs of teachers before pulling out his phone. He hastily started typing to the groupchat, lovingly labelled “film nerds”. 

Eddie🏳️‍🌈: need another movie night soon. school’s barely started and the anxiety is creeping in.

Chrissy🏳️‍⚧️: at least you’re at the same school! starting over is the most intimidating thing ever!

That message was closely followed by another.

Chrissy🏳️‍⚧️: i heard that lenora has a cheerleading team, though! i really want to try out!!

They had watched Bring it On over the summer. Gareth had hated every second of it. Chrissy, on the other hand, was entranced. Being stuck at an all boys school had really held her back, in that way among many others. As much as Eddie felt a pang of loneliness, suddenly going from two friends to only one, he was so happy for her. Hawkins Academy may have been hell for Eddie last year, but for Chrissy? The only trans student and the only girl? There had to be a place below hell, like some kind of super-hell, because that’s what Hawkins Academy had been for her.

So for Chrissy to be attending Lenora Academy, Hawkins’ sister school for girls, and for them to have a cheerleading team? It must seem like heaven.

Eddie’s phone vibrated once more.

Gareth🏴‍☠️: Shouldn’t you both be in form right now?

It was 8:47. Fuck.

Eddie hadn’t noticed the crowds in the corridors dwindling, but now, he rushed through what remained of them to push his way towards his new form room.

Hawkins Academy had given in to the new trend of “vertical form groups”. He’d received a letter about it during the school holidays, as well as an email, because if anything, Hawkins liked to be thorough in its communication with parents (or uncles, as Eddie’s case may be). The letter had explained that their forms would now be mixed across year groups and Eddie was having a hard time keeping his anxiety at bay. The threat that he would have to be in the same room as Tommy every day was a real one, and although the school was aware of the situation last year (as they’d called it, unwilling to utter the word bullying), it wouldn’t surprise Eddie if they saw it as an opportunity to promote tolerance, or whatever bullshit the headmaster was spouting lately. 

Eddie rounded the corner into the English classroom with a clumsy sort of precision, whacking his shoulder on the door-frame, but otherwise managing to enter the room unscathed. 

“Ah, Edward Munson, nice of you to join us,” Mr Dean narrowed his eyes. The clock on the wall by his desk read 8:52. “Late on the first day, I hope this won’t become a habit.”

Eddie had to stop himself from rolling his eyes, “Sorry I’m late, Sir,” he managed to say, narrowly avoiding sarcasm.

Mr Dean didn’t acknowledge his apology, turning instead to point to a seat near the windows, “You’re sitting over there. Next to Steven Harrington.”

Eddie’s eyes followed in the direction that Mr Dean was pointing and oh.

Because Eddie knew who Steve Harrington was, he would’ve had to live under a rock not to. Steve was everything that a teenage boy could hope to be; he was popular, sporty, attractive, smart, but not too smart to end up being bullied for being a nerd. He was in year ten, a year below Eddie, and he was friends with Tommy. Steve seemed to rein Tommy in, though, the guy was almost bearable when he was with Steve. Tommy only ever spewed vitriol when Steve wasn’t around, as if he knew Steve would put a stop to it. Or maybe that was Eddie’s inescapable crush on Steve Harrington talking.

Steve was a proper Prince Charming, really, and Eddie couldn’t slow the pounding of his heartbeat as he made his way over to the empty seat on Steve’s left. 

“Hi,” he breathed, sinking down onto the seat.

“Hi,” Steve replied, an easy smile gracing his lips.

Eddie had to fight to look away from the heavenly hazel of Steve’s eyes, but the school was only recently okay with his sexuality and he didn’t want to push it. Eddie diverted his attention to his hands. It was a little early in the day to start covering them with graffiti, if he started now then he’d be out of room by the end of his second lesson, but he risked it anyway. He pulled a black biro out of his blazer pocket and got to work, tracing a skull design on his wrist.

And if Eddie was letting himself be totally delusional, when the bell rang and he finally looked up, Eddie could almost see Steve moving his gaze away from Eddie’s wrist.

He hurried off to his Maths classroom, a light pink dusting his cheeks.

*

The next time Eddie got a chance to check his phone was at his guitar lesson. It was scheduled for 12:30 today, meaning that Eddie missed the last half of Science and was able to go straight to lunch after. He definitely wasn’t complaining about missing another one of Dr Neilson’s lectures. His droning voice was just not what he needed on the first day back (or ever ).

Eddie pulled up the groupchat again quickly.

Eddie🏳️‍🌈: code RED!!!!

Eddie🏳️‍🌈: meet at chrissy’s later? 

Eddie🏳️‍🌈: NEED to talk!!!

He put his phone away before Gareth could demand an explanation, he wasn’t averse to checking his phone in class and he would definitely be replying soon, especially if Neilson was still on his tirade. With his phone safely in the front pocket of his backpack, Eddie tossed it to the corner of the room and began to set up the amplifier ready for when Miss Daniels made her way in. 

Miss Daniels had been at the school for three years now. She had just started when Eddie started year nine. He’d always thought that music class should be fun. He liked music. He had a varied music taste but mostly leaned towards metal, which he had discovered when he found a video of a Metallica performance on youtube when he was ten. And yet, he was stuck playing Hot Cross Buns on a fucking recorder. 

Then Miss Daniels came along. She stood up in an assembly and told them that she was starting one-to-one music lessons for piano, guitar and drums. Eddie marvelled at the way that she said it so casually, that she could play three fucking instruments and not one of them was a recorder. And she looked so cool. She had multiple piercings running along the edge of her ear, her hair was short and dyed black, she had dark eyeliner dragged across her lashline and when she rolled up her shirt sleeves, he was sure he spotted ink. He’d pretty much sprinted up to her as soon as the assembly was over to beg to be on the list for guitar lessons. He’d been in them ever since.

Miss Daniels was also openly queer. She’d been there for him when the bullying and the whispers got really bad; he’d only told her because of the pride badge displayed prominently on her school lanyard. She let Eddie hide out in the music rooms at break and lunchtime, avoiding the crowds with their sneering and stares. Avoiding Tommy. He spent the whole time learning to play Master of Puppets until he had it nearly perfect. Miss Daniels had complimented him on it quite a bit and it made his heart sing to hear her voice calling him a “musical prodigy”.

He’d written her a lengthy thank you card at the end of every year, and he hated the idea that he had to choose between staying at Hawkins for Sixth Form and leaving Miss Daniels while he went off to college.

That was a decision for another day.

*

Chrissy had only slightly complained about hosting them all at her house again. Eddie had reminded her that Gareth’s room was uninhabitable and her house was much closer to the school, so she relented easily.

“What’s so important that you called a code red?” Gareth asked, staring up at the ceiling from where he lay on Chrissy’s floor. She had placed a baby blue rug in the centre of her room and Gareth maintained that it was the comfiest spot in the universe.

“I have to sit next to Steve Harrington in form,” Eddie groaned, dropping his face into his hands.

“Steve Harrington?” Chrissy’s eyes widened. “He’s hot.”

“The one who looks like a golden retriever?” Gareth scoffed.

“He does not look like a golden retriever!” Eddie kicked at Gareth from where he sat on Chrissy’s bed.

Gareth didn’t say anything, he just gave Eddie a look drowning in sarcasm and the words he was holding back. Eddie could tell.

“Okay,” Eddie relented with a giggle. “He kind of does!”

“I can’t believe you’re crushing on straight-boy rugby-king Steve Harrington,” Gareth made a retching sound.

“No one said anything about a crush,” Eddie insisted.

Chrissy scoffed this time, “It’s written all over your face, Eddie.”

“We’ve barely even said hi to each other!” Eddie said, and it was the truth.

“You’ve been attracted to him for ages, though,” Chrissy shrugged. “I can see why.”

Gareth’s face twinged at that, a moment of hurt and disgust before he covered it with a neutral expression, one that betrayed nothing. Eddie would have to question him about that later.

“I have eyes, Chrissy,” Eddie flopped backwards onto the bed, his hair landing next to her thigh. “That’s all.”

She hummed an agreement before she started playing with his hair, “What are we watching tonight?”

Eddie was glad that she had the tact to change the subject. Lord knows that Gareth wouldn’t. Eddie shrugged in reply.

“What about Hunt for the Wilderpeople?” Gareth suggested, sitting up with a glint in his eye. 

Eddie rolled his eyes, but Chrissy giggled and started to set up the movie. 

He would have to ask her about that later too.

*

🏉

*

Things passed for Steve and Eddie in the same way for a while. They continued to say “Hi” to each other regularly, always with a friendly smile, but there was never anything more. They didn’t even change it up and say “good morning”. Steve had thought about it once, but the familiarity of the routine made him melt. It was comforting.

Steve was always in his seat before Eddie. He looked up at Eddie with kind eyes, arms folded across his chest and he said it again: “Hi.”

Eddie replied in turn, his voice louder and more confident than it had been on that first day. Then he turned his attention back to his hands, as he always did. Yesterday’s doodles were smudged and faded where he had attempted to wash them off, but hadn’t quite been successful. Steve could still see the faded remnants of knuckle tattoos, though he couldn’t tell what had been scrawled across them. Steve sat and watched him draw, as he always did. Today, Eddie drew a guitar on the back of his hand; it had pointed edges and a mottled black design on it. It was so big that the neck of the guitar started to breach past his hand and up his wrist. Steve wanted to ask about it – did he design it himself, or was it one that already existed? 

Eddie fished around in his pencil case for a red pen to fill in the design. 

If it did already exist, what kind of guitar was it? Steve knew that Eddie played guitar; he'd been in the school talent show two years ago. He wondered why Eddie didn’t participate last year. 

Steve opened his mouth and sucked in a breath to ask, and then the bell rang out for first period.

*

Steve spent a bit too much time thinking about how he was actually going to have a conversation with Eddie, what he could say, or ask, how he could get to know the person he’d been sharing a table with for the past couple of weeks. 

He pushed the thought out of his mind when he jogged out onto the rugby pitch. He’d been pulled out of his final lesson for a last minute training session before their match after school. It was against some school in the next town and they needed to be on the coach at 3 o’clock sharp. It was nice, being out on the pitch. The familiar fit of his rugby shirt was like a comforting hug, one that he’d been longing for all summer. Steve pushed the sleeves up his arms, bunching them at his elbows. He rocked from one foot to the other and shook out his arm muscles. This was it. This was what he was good at. 

Just like that, any issues that Steve was having with school or his friends were gone. He just needed to focus on the feel of the grass under his feet, how it sank slightly when he ran because it had rained last night and not fully dried; or the ball that was hurtling at him, twisting in the air, and how he could position his hands exactly right to catch it; or dodging Tommy when he came running at him in an attempt to tackle him.

And it’s not like Steve wasn’t aware of what Tommy had been like last year. Tommy could be an asshole when he wanted to be, especially when people didn’t fit into the box that Tommy thought they should. He’d toss around comments about anyone who had a weird backpack (whatever that meant), or who was in the crochet club, or who wore too many enamel pins on the lapel of their blazer. Individuality was basically a target on your back.

So Steve wasn’t much of an individual. He let himself blend into the rest of the rugby team and focused on his love for the sport. 

He pulled Tommy back when he could, though. Sometimes literally. He grabbed Tommy by the arm, gently tugged him two steps backwards and whispered “Don’t be a dick, mate.” It worked, too. Tommy would look slightly annoyed, but he would let out a harsh breath through his nose and walk away, anticipating that Steve would follow in his wake. Steve did. His friends were idiots sometimes, but they were his friends. Friends were important. You stood by them.

The sound of a whistle caught Steve’s attention. He was surprised by the intrusion. When he came to, he was holding the ball, cradling it like he was supposed to. He hadn’t even realised he’d been participating in training; muscle memory was pretty powerful, he decided. 

He tossed his head, shook the droplets of sweat out of his hair and jogged over to his water bottle.

That’s when he caught Steve’s eye.

Eddie must have had PE, because there he was. He was in dark shorts and the Hawkins Academy sports polo. His hair was gathered into a messy ponytail near the top of his head and it was swaying as he ran. Steve hadn’t seen Eddie run before, he hadn’t pegged him as the sporty type, exactly. He associated Eddie with creative subjects like art and music. But he was running. 

And he was fast.

Eddie was the solution to all of their problems.

*

Steve was practically vibrating in his seat the next day. Between their win the day before and the prospect of what he had to ask Eddie, he was just a bit excited. He’d gotten to their form room even earlier than usual, telling Tommy that he was about to solve their ruby problem and rushing off.

In his haste, he had forgotten that Eddie didn’t get to form until the very last possible moment, usually only seconds before the bell rang.

So he watched the clock tick, waiting for Eddie to drop down into the seat next to him. He even sat on his hands to stop him from fidgeting.

“Hi,” Eddie said. He smiled sweetly and then he looked right back at his hands.

“I wanted to ask you something,” Steve blurted out, forgoing their usual greeting.

Eddie startled at that, flinched slightly and looked up at Steve with questioning eyes, “Uh, okay?”

Steve couldn’t help but think he looked like a puppy that had been left out in the rain. His eyes had gone all big and sorrowful, he was trembling slightly, and he just looked so scared. Bile rose in Steve’s throat, he didn’t want to believe that he would be the one to make him feel like that. 

But Steve had heard about how Eddie was treated last year. So he couldn’t blame him, really. Eddie didn’t know that he pulled Tommy away from him whenever he could. Eddie didn’t know that things could’ve been worse.

“I saw you run,” Steve choked out.

“That’s not a question.”

Steve chuckled at that, “You’re right.” He ran a hand through his hair and tried again. “Do you want to join the rugby team?”

Eddie’s eyes narrowed. He opened his mouth to talk. Steve interrupted him with an anxious desperation.

“You don’t actually have to play!” He started with. “It’s just – I saw you run and you’re really fast. I think you could be good! And we have enough guys for the team, but the rules state that we need a reserve on the team to play actual games. We managed to get away with it for yesterday’s match, we told them that one of the guys was ill and the reserve stepped in. But we can’t do that forever, so we need an actual reserve and –”

“You had a match yesterday?” Eddie interrupted him this time, brown eyes quizzical and roaming over his face.

Steve finally took a breath, “Yeah.”

Eddie tilted his head, which didn’t help the puppy observation, “Did you win?”

“Yeah,” Steve chuckled. “We did.”

“Well done,” Eddie nodded.

“So will you join?”

“Aren’t I a bit small and weak to play rugby?” Eddie scoffed. Steve thought it sounded just as endearing as his chuckle.

“You’re the same height as me,” he replied.

Eddie rolled his eyes, “That’s so not what I meant.”

“I wasn’t born this bulky and handsome, you know,” Steve joked, nudging Eddie with his elbow. Eddie spluttered in return, somewhere between a laugh and forming actual words.

“Never said you were handsome,” Eddie managed to grumble, but his cheeks were pink and he wouldn’t meet Steve’s eye. Steve couldn’t help but feel a little bit smug about it all.

“Are you joining, then?” Steve prodded Eddie again, this time digging a finger into his ribs.

“Fine, if it’ll shut you up,” Eddie rolled his eyes.

“This is the first time I’ve said something that wasn’t Hi to you!”

“And it was a ridiculous request!” Eddie flailed his arms around in front of Steve’s face, “Do these look like the arms of a rugby player to you?”

Steve grabbed the arm closest to him and squeezed the bicep, plastering a thoughtful look on his face, pursed lips and all. “I think you have potential,” he said after a moment.

Eddie pulled his arm away like he’d been burnt.

*

Steve didn’t have much to do in the evenings. He could do his homework, but he was avoiding that until the last minute. If it were something more interesting, then maybe he would attempt it sooner. But it was some practice exam questions for maths and he just couldn’t motivate himself, his GCSEs weren’t even until next year. He didn’t need to revise just yet. He had time.

It’s not what his teacher was saying, but who cares?

So here he was, laid on his bed and scrolling endlessly through social media. Instagram annoyed him most of the time. His feed was filled with his rugby teammates, which wasn’t bad in itself, but everything they posted seemed so fake. Curated for the purpose of making them more popular, to seem more cool and aloof and rich. 

Tommy posted a picture of a flashy Mercedes he couldn’t drive yet. 

Carol posted a picture of herself sitting on the bonnet of the same Mercedes, smiling at whoever was taking the photo, most likely Tommy.

Underneath it was a photo of her and Tommy kissing. Steve scrolled past that one without liking it.

His feed was filled with parties and flashy clothes and things that he frankly couldn’t care less about.

He scrolled until Instagram started suggesting new people to follow, like it was reading his mind. Technology was funny like that. 

People who you know follow: @ed-die-munson 

He opened the profile without any hesitation. 

Eddie’s profile was so full of life. There were pictures of him and his friends, there were smiles that seemed genuine, posts of graffiti that he thought was cool that stayed up even if it only got five likes. Eddie used Instagram like a diary, snapshots of memories that he didn’t want to forget. Steve found himself smiling at that.

A little further down the page, Steve found a picture of the guitar Eddie had drawn on the back of his hand. Except this one was real. Eddie was holding it, sitting down and looking reverently at it in his hands. There were guitars decorating the walls behind him and Steve guessed that he was either secretly rich, or he was at a music store.

@ed-die-munson: someday, I will own you, sweetheart.

Yep. Music store.

And Eddie just spoke to the guitar like it was a person, cute little pet names and all. Steve found himself chuckling at it, totally endeared by how real Eddie was. By how much of a contrast he was to Tommy and his insincerity.

Steve ended up looking through all of Eddie’s posts, reading each caption carefully.

A picture of a guy Steve didn’t know, tagged as @gareththegreat, holding an oreo to his mouth, probably taken without permission:

@ed-die-munson: if you were a biscuit, you’d be a whOREO 

A picture of a house with a dusting of snow, Eddie standing in front of it, arms spread open and a grin just as wide:

@ed-die-munson: there’s snow place like home

A picture of Eddie, his arm slung around the shoulders of a pretty blonde girl, tagged as @chrissy-with-a-y:

@ed-die-munson: i know it’s cheesy, but i think you’re grate

He looked at that last one for a while.

He closed the app. Put down his phone.

Picked it back up and opened it again.

He pressed the follow button on Eddie’s profile and closed the app once more.

Chapter Text

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🎸

*

@stevenjharrington followed you on instagram

Eddie blinked at his phone. Surely that couldn’t be right. He put his phone down so that he could rub his eyes; when he pulled his hands away, he could see stars. 

And the notification was still there.

With shaky fingers, Eddie clicked on the pink banner and let it take him to Steve’s profile. 

He wasn’t sure what he was expecting, but he wasn’t expecting it to be mostly filled with selfies of Steve and a dog.

@stevenjharrington: @nelliebellie looking cute again today

@stevenjharrington: My 🌎 revolves around @nelliebellie

@stevenjharrington: Go follow my @nelliebellie, she’s the cutest girl I know!

He definitely wasn’t expecting Steve Harrington to have set up an entire instagram for said dog.

He scrolled through Steve’s Instagram while biting back a smile. His pictures all seemed so lighthearted: he had carved pumpkins last halloween with someone tagged as @rockinrobin; there were a couple of action-shots from rugby matches last year, slightly blurred but not enough to hide the smile on his face; selfies and pictures where he just looked happy.

And then Eddie stopped in his tracks. 

Under another one of Steve’s photos of Nellie, one where she was alone and cuddled up on the sofa, her body tucked under a blanket and her head resting on a pillow, he saw the comment:

@tommyhrubgylad: Do you post anything other than that dog?

@stevenjharrington: The ladies love her 🐶

Eddie liked to forget that Steve was friends with Tommy. Obviously, they’re both on the rugby team, so they at least knew each other – but here, they seemed so close.

Steve had never been around when Tommy was targeting Eddie, he was sure of that, but it was jarring to see them interact in such a harmless way. Nausea spread through Eddie’s gut, and he almost didn’t press the follow button in return.

His self-destruction won out, though, and Eddie was officially one of Steve’s thousands (no, literally) of followers.

He tossed his phone aside and hid his face behind his hands, as if anyone was there to witness his stupidity. And just to sabotage himself more, Eddie picked the phone back up to find his groupchat.

Eddie🏳️‍🌈: So…

Eddie🏳️‍🌈: it’s not a code red, but i think it’s at least an orange.

Eddie🏳️‍🌈: maybe a pink.

Chrissy🏳️‍⚧️: what happened now?

Eddie🏳️‍🌈: steve followed me on instagram

Gareth🏴‍☠️: 🙄🙄🙄

Of course that was how Gareth was going to reply. Eddie sighed and debated leaving the groupchat altogether. But then, these were his only friends. He needed them.

Eddie🏳️‍🌈: always helpful, gare-bear

Chrissy🏳️‍⚧️: why is this a problem, exactly?

Eddie🏳️‍🌈: we’ve never spoken outside of form

Gareth🏴‍☠️: Are you talking now?

Eddie🏳️‍🌈: well, no…

Gareth🏴‍☠️: Then why does it matter?

Eddie resisted the urge to throw his phone at the wall. 

Chrissy🏳️‍⚧️: be nice, gareth.

Chrissy🏳️‍⚧️: he obviously has a crush

Eddie🏳️‍🌈: CHRISSY!!!

Gareth🏴‍☠️: Well, that’s pointless.

Chrissy🏳️‍⚧️: it’s sweet

Eddie🏳️‍🌈: i’m still here, you know

Gareth🏴‍☠️: Unfortunately.

Eddie wanted to punch him. And he might, if Gareth wasn’t careful.

Chrissy🏳️‍⚧️: gareth. nice. now.

Gareth🏴‍☠️: He’s just going to get hurt! Steve’s the straightest guy I’ve ever seen!

Gareth🏴‍☠️: Straighter than straight.

Gareth🏴‍☠️: He’s so straight that he’d make James Bond look a bit gay.

Gareth🏴‍☠️: We should watch the James Bond movies.

Eddie🏳️‍🌈: very insightful, gareth. thank you.

Eddie groaned and set his phone aside in favour of his guitar.

It wasn’t the Warlock he dreamed of, but he would have that soon enough. He’d been saving any money he’d gotten since he laid eyes on it. He’d even printed out the picture of him holding it and stuck it to his wall, right beside his bed. It was motivation.

Until then, he was more than happy with his acoustic baby. It was black, beautiful and sleek. His uncle Wayne had bought it for him the first Christmas after Eddie started taking guitar lessons at school. Eddie had begged for an electric guitar, but Wayne said he didn’t want to make an enemy of the neighbours just yet. It was still perfect. Eddie didn’t waste a second scrawling “this machine slays dragons” over it in white paint markers, an homage to Woody Guthrie’s badass political statement, blending it with his own nerdy personality.

He played softly, aware that the evening was quickly turning into the night, until he heard the soft sound of his phone vibrating on his bed, muffled by the duvet surrounding it.

Instagram: (1) new message from @stevejharrington 

Oh.

Eddie’s heart kicked into fifth gear, beating rapidly against his chest and threatening to break free. He took a deep breath and willed it to slow down, but it was of no use.

He opened the message anyway.

Steve: Hey. Thanks for helping me out with rugby! 😊

Eddie: oh yeah

Eddie: about that…

Steve: PLEASE don’t quit on me now! You haven’t even started!

Eddie groaned and tapped his phone against his head a few times, trying to will himself to have the courage to tell Steve “no”. He couldn’t spend that much time with Tommy. But Steve had said please, and oh, that did something to Eddie’s heart.

Eddie: i just don’t think i’d fit in with the team…

Steve: It’s Tommy isn’t it?

Eddie sighed. He started typing out his reply a dozen times and deleted it a-dozen-and-one. He’d just locked his phone in defeat when it lit up again.

Steve: He won’t say shit to you.

Steve: I promise.

Eddie: how can you promise that?

Steve: He’s an idiot. But he listens to me, usually.

Steve: Just give it a try, please?

And there it was again, that one word that seemed to have such a hold on Eddie when Steve said it.

Eddie: fine.

Steve: 🥳

Eddie: ❤️

And then Eddie turned his phone off, before he could regret hitting the send button.

*

🏉

*

A heart. 

Eddie Munson had sent him a heart emoji.

It wasn’t as if he’d never been sent a heart emoji before. He’d just never been sent one by a friend. A male friend, at least. Guys didn’t really do that. Or, to be more specific, the guys he’d been friends with up until that point didn’t.

Because Eddie Munson did. And Steve hoped that they were friends.

Steve stared at it for longer than was probably necessary, careful not to touch the keyboard so that Eddie wouldn’t see him typing. It wasn’t lost on him that he hadn’t stared at a message this intently since Nancy Wheeler had sent him a friend request on facebook and sent him a message saying she thought he was cute. But that was totally different. This was just something new. Different.

Eddie was different to his other friends and it was just so refreshing.

Nancy had been different, too. That’s why he’d liked her so much. He’d only ever known girls like Carol, loud and garish and unafraid. But then Nancy had come along: sweet and shy. She blushed when Steve held her hand and was so quiet he struggled to hear her sometimes. He kissed her for the first time at the park, they’d snuck away from their friends, hidden away behind a bush and Steve had given her a quick peck on the lips. It seemed perfect.

Tommy made fun of him, of course. He said it wasn’t a real kiss if you didn’t use tongue, then boasted about how much tongue he and Carol used. 

Then, the week after, Nancy sent him a message on Facebook to tell him that they were breaking up. She immediately changed her status to “single” and Steve had to do the same. Tommy made fun of him for that, too.

He was struggling to think of reasons why he liked Tommy.

He came up short after “we’ve been friends for years” and “we both like rugby”, because what else was there to their friendship, at this point?

He appreciated his daily “Hi” with Eddie much more than the past few years with Tommy. They felt real. No one was putting on a plastic smile and forcing their way through a friendship that they didn’t even want. A friendship that didn’t serve either of them beyond liking each other’s instagram pictures and having each other’s backs in rugby.

Steve tried not to dwell on it too much, told himself he was just overtired and grumpy. So he gave Nellie one last kiss on the forehead, and he went to sleep.

*

“You’ve just got to commit to it,” Steve told him. 

Eddie was standing in front of him, looking the most nervous he had ever seen him. He was back in the school’s sports polo with his hair gathered up on top of his head. Steve couldn’t help but think it was pretty, tied up like that. It was an odd thought. He pushed it away and focused on the task at hand.

“You won’t hurt me,” Steve assured him. “I’ve been tackled too many times. Barely feel it now.”

Eddie twisted his fingers into the hem of his shirt, “I’m not going to tackle you.”

“Oh I see,” a smirk played across Steve’s lips. “You’re scared.”

“I’m not!” Eddie insisted, dropping his shirt.

“You are,” Steve placed his hands on his hips, surveying Eddie, looking for signs that his plan was working. “You’re scared of failing, so you won’t try.”

“That’s –” Eddie spluttered. “I can do it.”

“Prove it,” Steve spread his arms wide, an invitation.

Then Eddie was hurtling at him, his arms wrapped around his waist, and they were on the floor. 

Eddie was on top of him.

Some of the strands of his hair had come loose from the ponytail, either being too short to fit in there properly, or tousled in the fall. Steve fought the urge to tuck them behind Eddie’s ear, move them away from his face so that he could read his expression properly.

“Was that okay?” Eddie peered through his bangs at Steve, a hesitant smile on his lips. 

“That was –” Steve searched for the words, ignoring the ache in his back and the gleam in Eddie’s eyes that just made him feel – “Perfect.”

“Really?” Eddie’s face lit up.

“Now, let’s try it while I’m actually moving,” Steve brushed Eddie off of him and stood up quickly. Eddie didn’t move, so Steve reached out a hand to help him up. “Come on!”

Eddie didn’t take his hand, but he pushed himself up with a quiet “I’m going to die,” and stood opposite Steve, waiting for instruction.

Steve didn’t think about Eddie not taking his hand.

*

🎸

*

Eddie’s fingers burned where he had touched Steve. 

They’d stayed separate until that moment, but it was impossible to remain that way now that Eddie was on the rugby team. 

Eddie was on the rugby team.

It sounded ridiculous, because it was.

“What on earth were you thinking?” Gareth demanded, sitting across from him at their usual lunch table. “You’re going to die.”

“I’m going to die,” Eddie had echoed with a nod of his head.

“Is it worth it?”

“I think it might be,” Eddie kept his eyes on the sandwich in front of him so that he wouldn’t have to look at whatever Gareth was doing with his face.

“You’re insufferable,” was all Gareth said. “I need to tell Chrissy.”

*

Gareth🏴‍☠️: Chrissy, do you want to guess what stupid thing Eddie did now, or should I just tell you?

Eddie🏳️‍🌈: gareth, i am literally still sitting opposite you.

Chrissy🏳️‍⚧️: guessing is fun!

Chrissy🏳️‍⚧️: did he forget his lunch?

Chrissy🏳️‍⚧️: or forget to do his homework?

Chrissy🏳️‍⚧️: oh!! did he leave his keys inside the house again because he forgot the door locks automatically?

Eddie🏳️‍🌈: it was ONE TIME!

Gareth🏴‍☠️: He joined the rugby team.

Chrissy🏳️‍⚧️: rugby?

Chrissy🏳️‍⚧️: eddie you don’t play sports

Gareth🏴‍☠️: Guess WHY he joined.

Chrissy🏳️‍⚧️: that’s an easy one!

Chrissy🏳️‍⚧️: steve

Eddie🏳️‍🌈: i hate you both

Gareth🏴‍☠️: I’ve said it once, and I’ll say it again. Steve Harrington is STRAIGHT.

Eddie🏳️‍🌈: again, thank you gareth.

Eddie locked his phone and ignored the vibrations that let him know that Chrissy and Gareth were still talking. Gareth kept his head buried in his phone, and Eddie lay down across the seat of the picnic bench with a groan.

Objectively, Gareth was right. Steve was straight, rugby was dangerous and Eddie was in over his head. It was just hard to say no to Steve, especially when he was being so kind. 

And was it so wrong if he let himself hope that maybe Steve wasn’t as straight as he seemed? A little daydreaming never hurt anyone.

*

Eddie was in his seat early the next morning. It was the first time he’d beaten Steve to the classroom. Steve was usually there waiting for him, but he couldn’t deal with Gareth this morning. He felt his phone vibrate in his blazer, with a quick look to check that Mr Dean wasn’t looking at him (he wasn’t, he was staring at the computer), Eddie fished the phone out of his pocket and held it under the table.

Gareth🏴‍☠️: ???

Gareth🏴‍☠️: Where are you???

Gareth🏴‍☠️: You’d better be dead. That’s the only acceptable reason for not being at our spot.

Eddie🏳️‍🌈: sorry. early morning guitar lesson.

Eddie🏳️‍🌈: wanted the extra practice.

Eddie put his phone away then, not wanting to see what Gareth would reply to his lie. He knew that Miss Daniels would have his back if he decided to ask her. She’d smile and nod and tell Gareth “Yes, absolutely, Eddie was practising his pentatonic scales this morning.” And Gareth wouldn’t know enough about guitar to know that Eddie had those scales down a while ago. Gareth trusted Eddie most of the time, but with his blooming crush on Steve, Gareth had every right to be a little worried. 

Eddie just didn’t want to listen to it.

“Hi,” Steve’s smile was inquisitive, confused. Eddie hadn’t even noticed him walking in. 

“Hi,” Eddie beamed.

“You’re early,” he said as he dropped down onto his chair. 

Eddie’s mouth dropped open slightly. It was one thing for him to notice everything that Steve did; Eddie made note of everything he could when it came to Steve. His smile, the way he brushed his hair out of his eyes, the way his rugby polo hugged his arms and almost looked too tight… 

But Steve had noticed Eddie. 

Okay, so it was almost impossible to ignore the fact that Eddie had suddenly shown up earlier than Steve after months of Steve being the first one to their form room, but Eddie was going to take whatever win he could get.

And he would not mention it to Gareth.

“Yeah,” Eddie said, because how could he explain that he would rather catch a glimpse of Steve than listen to Gareth talk about how straight Steve was?

“Right,” Steve nodded. His eyes flicked down to Eddie’s hands and oh, he’d noticed that too. “No drawings yet?”

Eddie shrugged.

“You drew a guitar before…” Steve’s fingers twitched like he wanted to reach out and thought better of it. Eddie tried to swallow the lump that was forming in his throat. “What kind was it?”

“It was uh – a Warlock,” Eddie stared at his hands too, wishing that he’d already gotten a pen out so that he could distract himself. “They’re pretty big in the heavy metal scene. It’s my dream guitar.”

“That’s cool,” Steve nodded. “I don’t think I have a dream anything.”

Eddie looked back up at him now. He let his eyes roam over Steve’s face, his brow was slightly creased from where he was deep in thought. “No dreams for Steve Harrington?”

“Playing rugby would be nice,” he shrugged. “But I’m nowhere near professional level. I’d like to go to university, but I have no idea what I’d study.”

“That’s still a dream.”

“I guess it is,” Steve smiled and met his eye. “Do you like dogs?”

“Uh,” Eddie wasn’t sure what brought that question on. He hoped this was the next step in their friendship: genuinely getting to know each other outside of form and rugby. He liked it. “Yeah, I like dogs. Cats too.”

Steve pulled out his phone and showed Eddie his lockscreen. It was a picture of him and Nellie that Eddie pretended he hadn’t already seen on Instagram.

“This is Nellie,” and the smile that was on Steve’s face was delightful. He looked absolutely in love. “Do you want to meet her?”

Eddie blinked twice, his brain attempting to catch up after getting lost in Steve’s smile, “Sorry?” 

“You could come over later and meet her,” Steve offered again, looking slightly sheepish. “If you wanted.”

“Yes! Yeah,” Eddie chuckled nervously. “That – it sounds fun.”

Steve grabbed Eddie’s arm and rolled his sleeve up. He pulled the cap off of a pen with his teeth and started scrawling something over Eddie’s arm.

“This is my address,” he said around the pen lid. “Come by whenever.”

“Okay,” Eddie breathed, hoping his blush wasn’t too obvious. 

*

Eddie hid away in the music room at break, still attempting to breathe correctly.

Eddie🏳️‍🌈: is it too soon to call another code red?

Eddie🏳️‍🌈: because i have another code red situation.

Gareth🏴‍☠️: you’re abusing the code red system

Gareth🏴‍☠️: and where are you??? 

Eddie🏳️‍🌈: music rooms again

Chrissy🏳️‍⚧️: what happened?

Eddie could kiss Chrissy sometimes, she knew exactly when he needed her kindness. 

Eddie🏳️‍🌈: steve kinda invited me to his house?

Chrissy🏳️‍⚧️: !!!

Chrissy🏳️‍⚧️: when?? are you going??

Eddie🏳️‍🌈: today. and of course i am.

Chrissy🏳️‍⚧️: tell me IMMEDIATELY when you get home!!

Chrissy🏳️‍⚧️: i’m rooting for you

Gareth🏴‍☠️: Straight.

Gareth🏴‍☠️: Heterosexual.

Gareth🏴‍☠️: Eddie is your gaydar broken?

Eddie sighed and thought seriously about blocking Gareth’s number.

Eddie🏳️‍🌈: we’re friends.

Eddie🏳️‍🌈: he invited me to meet his dog. as friends.

*

Eddie stood outside of Steve’s house, taking deep breaths like his uncle Wayne had taught him how to when he felt overwhelmed.

Inhale for four seconds, hold for four seconds. Exhale for four seconds, hold for four seconds.

He rolled up the sleeve of his jumper to check he’d gotten the address right one final time, then gave a knock on the door. The sound of barking that followed eased his nerves, it was a good sign that he was in the right place.

Steve flung the door open, bent down from where he was holding Nellie’s collar with one hand. He had a pair of glasses on that threatened to slide down his nose and drop to the floor at any moment.

“Hi,” Steve’s smile was sparkling. Another thing to take Eddie’s breath away.

“Uh,” Eddie so eloquently replied. “This must be Nellie!”

Eddie crouched down, rubbing his hands over Nellie’s head and back. She was much easier to look at than Steve, made him feel less tongue-tied.

“How awkward would it be if I said it wasn’t?” 

Eddie glanced up at Steve in a panic and Steve – the bastard – he chuckled.

“Oh I see,” Eddie returned his chuckle with one of his own. “You’re messing with me.”

Steve shrugged, “It’s quite fun. You coming inside?”

Eddie followed behind Steve, toeing off his shoes to leave with the others by the door. 

“You’re wearing glasses,” Eddie said, once he felt sane enough with the development to be able to talk about it.

“Oh,” Steve said, a hint of insecurity flashing across his face. “Yeah.”

“Why don’t you wear them more often?”

“Tommy says glasses are for pussies.”

Eddie snorted, “That’s the dumbest fucking thing I’ve ever heard.”

He burst into a laugh and was utterly entranced when Steve did the same.

“Yeah,” Steve smiled at Eddie fondly. “I guess it is.”

*

🏉

*

They were playing Mario Kart when it happened. 

“You could let me win once!” Steve tried, laughter falling from his lips in a way it hadn’t around Tommy in a long time.

“Then you wouldn’t get any better,” Eddie replied smugly.

“I’m never playing with you again,” Steve turned away from Eddie in mock tantrum and spotted the changing weather outside. He turned back to Eddie, an excited smile across his face, “It’s snowing.”

Steve rushed around his room, gathering up spare scarves and gloves to bundle up Eddie.

“I can’t believe it’s December and you came here in just a jumper!” Steve laughed, winding a scarf around Eddie’s neck.

“It’s not that cold!” he tried to insist.

“Nice try, but it’s snowing, and you’re an idiot,” Steve rolled his eyes before opening the back door and letting Nellie run loose.

She loved the snow, and Steve didn’t blame her, really. She bounded through it, even though there was only a couple of centimetres on the ground at the moment. She ran in circles and buried her nose into the snow. Steve laughed again, lighthearted and carefree.

“It’s cold as balls out here,” Eddie grumbled.

“Are your balls usually cold?” Steve raised an eyebrow at Eddie, holding back the laughter at his own joke.

“Very funny, Harrington,” Eddie rolled his eyes and buried his hands under his armpits, despite the gloves Steve had given him.

“Oh, so we’re going for last names now, Munson? Is that how it is?”

Eddie frowned at him, but somehow, Steve knew it was playful. It didn’t hold the same weight as Tommy’s disapproving looks. It didn’t make his heart drop, it made it flutter. “That’s how it is,” Eddie confirmed.

“Well then,” Steve scooped up some snow and quickly pressed it into a ball. “It’s war, Munson.”

And it was.

They chased each other around the garden until Steve lost track of just how much time they’d been out there. His fingers were numb through the soaked woollen gloves, but he wasn’t surrendering before Eddie did. Steve had better aim, but Eddie was faster and better at dodging, so it was a pretty even match.

Then Steve was bending down to scoop up more snow, and when he straightened up, Eddie was coming at him. He tackled Steve to the ground with practised ease. It hurt more when he wasn’t braced for it, knocked the wind out of him and left him coughing. 

“Shit,” Eddie propped himself up on his arms and looked Steve over.

Steve’s cough turned into laughter, but Eddie’s eyes were still worried.

“I’m a good coach,” Steve hoped he sounded proud, because he was.

“Steve I winded you!”

“That was great!” 

“You’re a masochist.”

“Maybe,” Steve shrugged, not bothering to push Eddie off of him yet, even though the snow was seeping through his clothes. “I would let you know, if I knew what that meant.”

“Jesus,” Eddie shook his head. 

And like that, with the last of the winter light shining around his hair like a halo, with his hair dropping to frame his face and come close to tickling Steve’s own face, with Eddie smiling down at him like he was precious…

Steve thought he was beautiful. 

It made him feel a little breathless, actually.

“Eddie…” he whispered, his breath forming a cloud in between them.

Hearing his name seemed to shake Eddie out of his reverie. He pulled away and stood up so quickly that Steve was worried he was going to slip on the quickly forming ice. 

“Can we go inside?” Eddie asked, he was bouncing from one foot to the other. Skittish. “I’m cold.”

“Yeah,” Steve nodded and got up. “Yeah, of course.”

*

They got changed, taking turns in the bathroom. Steve fetched some extra blankets and filled two hot water bottles, then they sat on the sofa for a movie night. Eddie had chosen something on Netflix, Steve hadn’t paid too much attention while he was choosing the movie, his mind had been on the moment they’d shared outside. He held onto the hot water bottle a little tighter.

Had he imagined it? Had he imagined the way that his heart beat faster when Eddie looked up at him through his hair? The way he wanted to reach out and touch the hair that fell gracefully around him, twirl his finger around it and find out if it was as soft as it looked?

Steve risked a glance to his side. Eddie was sitting away from him, he hadn’t come close to Steve since he’d tackled him. Steve tried to not let his heart sink at that.

But Eddie’s eyes were closed. His breathing had slowed. He looked so peaceful and cosy. Steve’s heart soared; it was up and down like a rollercoaster, which couldn’t be good for the health of his heart.

Steve let his eyes roam over Eddie’s form freely. He still looked as lovely as he did outside, no longer surrounded by the perfect white of the snow, but in the glow of the TV light and wrapped up in Steve’s clothes and Steve’s blankets. Eddie’s hand had fallen in between them at some point, dropping from where his hands had been tucked around the hot water bottle, a mirror of how Steve sat. 

Steve dropped his hand too, let it lie next to Eddie’s for a moment. Their pinkies brushed against each other gently and Steve felt electricity shoot through his entire body. He pulled his hand away and hugged at his hot water bottle again. His heart ached at the loss of contact, no matter how small it had been.

He couldn’t sit still, not after knowing what one small bit of contact had felt like. He shifted his hand again, let it hover over Eddie’s. He let his fingers stretch and imagined how Eddie’s hands might feel when they were intertwined with his own. 

He hadn’t held hands with someone since Nancy. That had felt warm and comforting. In some odd way, he felt like he was protecting her, even though she always had been strong enough to protect herself. It felt like a hot drink on a cold day, like a blanket wrapped around his shoulders.

The thought of Eddie was different. Eddie was lightning sparks and burning heat. Eddie was a jolt of electricity that had him feeling more awake than ever, he didn’t know how Eddie could sleep through it.

Steve let his hand drop slightly, close enough that he could feel the electricity buzzing between the small space between their hands, an exchange of energy between them. 

And then he snatched it away and watched the movie, despite not seeing any of it so far.

*

When the credits started to roll, Steve gently shook Eddie awake, the touch causing pins and needles to go coursing through his veins.

He handed Eddie the clothes he’d left to dry on the radiator and lead him back to the door.

“Thanks,” Eddie’s smile was small and unsure. “I had a nice day.”

“Me too,” Steve admitted.

Eddie stood there for a moment, unsure. Without thinking too much about it, lest he talk himself out of it, Steve surged forward and pulled him into a hug. It was tight and it sent shivers down his body. He buried his head in the crook of Eddie’s neck and nearly goddamn whimpered when Eddie wrapped his arms around his waist in turn. He let himself stay there for a moment longer, let himself enjoy the pulse of the electricity around them, and then he stepped away.

“I’ll see you tomorrow,” Steve said with a little wave.

Eddie, dazed, replied “Yeah, tomorrow.”

Chapter Text

*

🎀

*

Chrissy was deep into a youtube rabbit hole when her phone started buzzing. She ignored it for a moment, focusing her attention wholly on the upbeat music mixes and the intricate stunts and the smiles that looked so genuine. She’d made it onto the cheer team – everyone did, really, it seemed to be a way to gather information on their current skill-base rather than a means to exclude anyone. 

Chrissy had wanted more than anything to belong somewhere. And now she did.

She didn’t belong at Hawkins Academy, as much as people tried to tell her that she did. She was so out of place there that moving to Lenora had felt like coming home, rather than starting again. If she didn’t focus on the fact that she didn’t really have too many friends, it was perfect. If she didn’t focus on the fact that she missed Eddie and Gareth, that she felt like she was missing a limb without them, she could let herself believe that she was truly happy.

And she was somewhat happy at Lenora, she just needed some friends.

Eddie🏳️‍🌈: i just got home

Gareth🏴‍☠️: Congratulations.

Eddie🏳️‍🌈: it’s so nice of you to be concerned for my safety

Gareth🏴‍☠️: I figured that dead people don’t tend to message the groupchat to say that they made it home safe.

Chrissy allowed herself a chuckle while she read that one. Gareth’s sense of humour made her chest fill with a heartfelt glow.

Eddie🏳️‍🌈: ANYWAY

Eddie🏳️‍🌈: i kinda have another code red situation???

Gareth🏴‍☠️: I’m revoking your code red privileges.

Eddie🏳️‍🌈: it’s not a privilege, it’s a right

Eddie🏳️‍🌈: and i have a code red

For once, she wished the boys could play nice. It would be lovely to have a day to herself, without having to block some kind of argument between Eddie and Gareth. They never truly fought, they were just too similar for their own good, and Chrissy was their mediator. A neutral third party.

And she was going to remain neutral, even if one of their names caused a flutter in her chest.

Chrissy🏳️‍⚧️: break it up, kiddos

Chrissy🏳️‍⚧️: what’s the issue?

Gareth🏴‍☠️: We’re the same age! Eddie’s older than you!

Eddie🏳️‍🌈: what does it mean when your hot straight friend hugs you and buries his face in your neck?

Gareth🏴‍☠️: It means your hair is long and curly and he’s still pining after Nancy Wheeler.

Chrissy wished she could have typed fast enough to reply before Gareth. 

She wasn’t under the impression that Eddie didn’t know about Nancy, hers and Steve’s relationship had kindled and then burnt out quite publicly, but it must sting to have it flaunted so directly in his face. She would have to teach Gareth to have some tact. 

No one replied for a long time. 

Well, it was possibly only a couple of minutes. But for them, the trio that had been joined at the hip since year seven (Eddie’s year eight), who had supported each other through everything – for them, it was an eternity.

It was Chrissy who spoke first.

Chrissy🏳️‍⚧️: we don’t know for sure that he still likes her

Chrissy🏳️‍⚧️: it’s been like a year

Gareth🏴‍☠️: And Mr. Rugby King hasn’t dated anyone else since.

Chrissy glared at her phone.

Chrissy🏳️‍⚧️: you haven’t dated anyone either

Gareth started typing, and then the little bubble disappeared.

Eddie🏳️‍🌈: could you ask her?

Chrissy🏳️‍⚧️: what?

Eddie🏳️‍🌈: could you ask nancy if she still likes steve?

Chrissy stared at her phone for a beat. 

It was a difficult decision. Nancy Wheeler was in her year, they shared plenty of classes. She was beautiful, smart, popular. Well – popularity wasn’t enforced at Lenora the way that it had been at Hawkins. Nancy had lots of friends, but that was because she was genuinely kind. It wasn’t about who had the most money, or who’d kissed the most people. People wanted to be Nancy’s friend because she was a good person. 

So of course Chrissy wanted to be her friend.

It’s just that… She hadn’t quite gotten there yet.

They’d spoken a handful of times. They were on their way to being friends, even. But how could she just go up to a girl she barely spoke to and ask her if she’s still in love with her ex-boyfriend?

Chrissy let out a sigh, because she knew that she couldn’t begrudge Eddie this. He’d do anything for them if the roles were reversed, and she really hated to disappoint him (or anyone, really).

Chrissy🏳️‍⚧️: i make NO promises

Chrissy🏳️‍⚧️: …but i’ll see what i can find out

Eddie🏳️‍🌈: you’re the best, chrissy-cat!

And she had to smile at that, really. At the nickname that had been everywhere with them. It felt like it had been hers forever, that she had always been chrissy-cat the kitty-kat to Eddie, that she hadn’t ever been anyone else.

She hadn’t really. It was just others’ perception of her that had been wrong.

With a sigh, she placed her phone down and focused once more on her laptop.

*

“Hi,” Chrissy had walked up to Nancy’s table in the small cafe area with a bright smile on her face. She was delighted when Nancy shot her one back. “Can I sit with you?”

“Of course!” Nancy used her foot to push out the chair opposite from where she sat. It scraped along the floor and Chrissy cringed slightly before she sat down. 

They weren’t in the main cafeteria. Chrissy found it all to be a bit overwhelming in there. She definitely felt like she belonged at Lenora Academy, but she had truly never been around so many girls before she came to the school. It may have been December, but she was still getting used to it.

“Thank you,” Chrissy turned her attention to the girl on Nancy’s left. She wasn’t in the same classes as them, so Chrissy didn’t think she’d met her yet. But she had a friendly face and Nancy seemed like a good judge of character. She held out her hand to the girl, “I’m Chrissy!”

“I’m Robin,” she tentatively reached out to shake Chrissy’s hand, as if she was surprised that someone would do that in real life. “You know Nance?”

“We have some classes together,” Nancy nodded. “We’re working on a project together in Mrs Brine’s history class.”

Chrissy was once again in awe of how it felt to be included.

Robin pulled a face, “Oh blegh!”

Nancy’s laughter came out as a snort.

“She’s the worst,” Robin groaned. “She threatened to call my parents because my homework was just the teensiest bit late! I just didn’t want to rush it!”

“How late?” Chrissy smiled, quietly agreeing with Robin’s opinion, even if it was for different reasons. Mrs Brine wasn’t popular with the girls at Lenora.

Nancy rolled her eyes, “Four days.”

Robin waved her off, “My point still stands.”

“I have to say,” Chrissy hummed, spearing some pasta on her fork, “I kind of agree.”

“You don’t have to make Robin’s head any bigger,” Nancy nudged the other girl with her shoulder. She grasped her side in mock pain. Chrissy’s heart surged as she was reminded of Eddie.

“My head is a perfectly acceptable size, thank you!” Robin said through her giggles.

“How long have you been friends?” Chrissy asked, her eyes flitting between them. She noticed Robin’s smile waver slightly and her blue eyes flash across to Nancy.

“Since year seven,” Nancy answered easily, looking much more relaxed than Robin. “So, only four years of hell.”

Robin shoved Nancy this time, “I’m a delight!”

Nancy turned back to Chrissy, “How are you finding Lenora?”

“It’s great!” Chrissy perked up quickly. “Much better than Hawkins. I miss my friends, though.”

Nancy nodded sympathetically, “At least we still have events with them throughout the year! There’s a Christmas Ball coming up. Are you going?”

“Oh,” Chrissy nudged the pasta around her plate without picking it up, “I’m not sure. I don’t have anyone from Lenora to go with, and I don’t want to be surrounded by the Hawkins guys the entire time so –”

“Come with us!” Robin perked up. 

Nancy smiled at Robin, then at Chrissy, “You really should.”

And Chrissy couldn’t form a coherent enough sentence to reply, could only focus on the excitement swirling around in her stomach like butterflies. They were different to the ones that she felt when she made Gareth smile, but they were there, nonetheless.

So she just nodded and scooped some pasta into her mouth.

“Don’t either of you have dates?” Chrissy asked after a moment. 

“We’re going together,” Nancy answered hastily. “It seemed more fun to go with friends.”

“Best gal pals,” Robin mused, scrunching her nose at Nancy. Chrissy didn’t want to read into the sarcastic inflection of Robin’s voice.

“Didn’t you go with Steve Harrington last year?” Chrissy asked Nancy. “He’s cute.”

“Oh,” Nancy stiffened. “No, we’d broken up by then.”

“And you don’t want to go with him this year?” She asked tentatively.

“Like I said,” Nancy smiled at Robin, who had placed a protective hand on her shoulder. “I think going with friends will be more fun.”

“Who needs boys anyway?” Robin snorted.

Chrissy pursed her lips, she watched Nancy and Robin, and she thought.

*

Chrissy didn’t dare approach the topic for another few days. She continued having lunch with Nancy and Robin. She noted each little touch, or smile, or sideways glance. She noticed how they angled their bodies to always be turned towards each other, as if they never wanted to turn away.

She didn’t want to assume anything, but growing up as a trans kid with a gay best friend made her able to see right through the closet as if she had x-ray vision.

It was a Wednesday when she walked into the library after school to find them almost cuddling. Robin jerked her whole body away and ducked her head into her book.

“Is that –” Chrissy tilted her head as she approached slowly, “Are you reading Sappho? Upside down?”

Robin’s mouth opened and closed a few times, her mouth and brain not quite working together. Chrissy had done the same thing the first time someone had caught her trying on a skirt. 

“She’s just – cool,” Robin stuttered, flipping her book the correct way.

“Cool,” Chrissy echoed. “I hope I’m not reading this wrong, because I would hate to lose such lovely friends…”

Robin looked nervously to Nancy, a deer caught in the headlights. Nancy looked stoic and unmovable.

“Are you guys together?” Chrissy sank down into the chair opposite them, hoping that this would convey that she was a safe person, that she wasn’t about to run off and tell the world if they didn’t want the world to know.

Nancy’s shoulders relaxed, while Robin was as tense as a board. If Chrissy hadn’t been as focused on making sure that she hadn’t misstepped, she might have found the juxtaposition funny.

Nancy reached across and took Robin’s hand, “God, you’re such a lesbian disaster, Robin Buckley.”

Nancy and Robin laughed together, so Chrissy joined in. The tension in the atmosphere had been well and truly broken. 

“Only one of us can be a well-put-together lesbian, Nancy Wheeler,” Robin countered.

“Sappho’s just cool,” Nancy mocked. “That’s the gayest excuse for reading Sappho I’ve ever heard!”

“What would you have said?”

“We’re not in your literature class,” Nancy reminded her. “You could’ve said it was poetry homework!”

Robin winced, “That would have been better, yeah.”

“Thank you for telling me,” Chrissy piped up. “It’s not always easy. So – thank you.”

Nancy smiled sweetly. She looked like she was about to say something, but Robin beat her to it.

“And could you – uh –” Robin squoze Nancy’s hand, looking for reassurance. Chrissy thought it was the cutest thing she’d seen in a while. “I use different pronouns.”

Chrissy smiled and nodded. She wanted Robin to continue before she spoke up, for Robin to have the space to tell her everything before she thanked her with the softest voice she could muster.

“So like – they and them – or he,” Robin nodded once. “If that’s okay.”

“Of course it’s okay,” Chrissy nodded eagerly. Robin visibly dropped the tension that had crept into her shoulders. “Do you prefer the term partner? For you and Nance?”

“I like partner, yeah,” Robin leaned into Nancy, she put her arm around them. “Girlfriend is also okay. Nancy switches.”

“Thank you for trusting me,” Chrissy beamed at them both.

“Welcome to the inner circle,” Nancy giggled.

*

Chrissy floated on air for the rest of the week at Lenora. Robin and Nancy were her friends . Having friends was one thing. Having friends who were also queer? Who understood what it was like to not be cis? It was a dream. 

In all of the chaos of her happiness, she had almost forgotten to keep Eddie updated. Chrissy felt a little guilty about that, knowing more than anyone just how anxious Eddie probably was over the whole thing. When he had a crush, he crushed hard, and then it crushed him.

Chrissy🏳️‍⚧️: i have information.

Chrissy🏳️‍⚧️: but you’re not allowed to ask me how i know.

Eddie🏳️‍🌈: i always knew you were my favourite!

Gareth🏴‍☠️: Hey!!!

Chrissy smiled, fighting back a reply about how Gareth was her favourite, so it was okay if he wasn’t Eddie’s.

Chrissy🏳️‍⚧️: promise me, edward.

Eddie🏳️‍🌈: oh shit christina, it’s serious business when you call me edward.

Eddie🏳️‍🌈: i promise, christabel

Chrissy smiled at the nicknames. It wasn’t often that someone got a nickname that was longer than their actual name, but Eddie wasn’t the typical person.

Chrissy🏳️‍⚧️: nancy isn’t interested in steve. at all.

Eddie🏳️‍🌈: are you serious?

Eddie🏳️‍🌈: cross your heart?

Gareth🏴‍☠️: Chrissy, don’t encourage him! You’re better than this!

Chrissy🏳️‍⚧️: i’m serious. they’re not a thing and nancy doesn’t want to be.

Chrissy🏳️‍⚧️: i can’t speak for steve, though.

Gareth🏴‍☠️: Who is DEFINITELY still straight!

Chrissy sighed. As much as she liked Gareth, the pessimistic routine was starting to get old. She was going to have to talk to him. And soon. 

Eddie🏳️‍🌈: i love you chrissy!

Eddie🏳️‍🌈: gareth, you can kiss my ass

And Chrissy didn’t particularly want to be around for the rest of that argument, so she put her phone on do not disturb and opened up her copy of Frankenstein to start working on her Literature homework.

*

Chrissy managed to corner Gareth the next day. She pounded on his door with a fierce determination. Luckily, Gareth answered and not his mother, so she didn’t have to explain the aggression with which she had been battering the door to the innocent Mrs Chambers. 

“Fuck, Chrissy, it’s a Saturday!” Gareth scrubbed at his eyes, his hair still fluffy and sleep-ruffled. Chrissy’s heart sped up; she willed it to stay calm and focus on the task at hand.

“Well done, you own a calendar,” she rolled her eyes. “I’m coming in.”

She must have succeeded in making her face look serious for once, because Gareth stepped aside immediately, even looking a little sheepish.

If she was totally honest, she’d chosen her outfit and styled her hair in a way which she thought might be read as a little more intimidating than her usual style. Chrissy preferred to wear her hair up, usually in a ponytail with a scrunchie or bow that had been coordinated to her outfit. It was a cute look that rounded out her face more in a way that made her feel euphoric, but it didn’t exactly scream “I mean business, so if you keep upsetting our mutual best friend there will be consequences.” For today, Chrissy had let her hair hang loose around her face. She thought it made her face look more drawn, less soft and feminine. She was wearing jeans and a plain blouse; the lack of a patterned dress was another calculated move to appear more business-like. 

Gareth eyed Chrissy carefully, a crease between his eyebrows, so she assumed that her plan was working so far.

“You seem mad at me,” Gareth shuffled from one foot to the other, looking at Chrissy with cautious eyes.

“I am,” she nodded. “I have snacks in my backpack for after. But first, we’re talking.”

“Okay,” Gareth agreed readily.

“Well, I’m talking, and you’ll listen,” she clarified.

“Okay,” Gareth repeated, a little quieter, a little more unsure. “Upstairs?”

Chrissy didn’t answer. With her arms still folded across her chest, she turned on the spot and started marching up the stairs. She was familiar enough with Gareth’s house by now that she felt comfortable enough to walk into his room as if it were her own. 

She didn’t turn around to check if Gareth was following, she simply trusted that he was.

When she got to the familiar room – eerily similar to Eddie’s, covered in band posters and art from various movies and video games, with figurines dotted around the room, filling every shelf – she dropped herself down onto the desk chair. She twisted to face the bed and waited for Gareth to take a seat on his mattress opposite her. 

He sat down cautiously and swallowed so hard Chrissy heard it.

“Is everything okay?” He croaked out, panic burning in his eyes.

“No, Gareth. It’s not,” Chrissy ground out.

“What’s –” he started to ask.

“Why can’t you let Eddie be happy?” She demanded.

“Uh –” Gareth’s eyes widened to an almost impossible level. 

“Go on,” Chrissy cocked her head, waiting. “I want to hear this.”

Gareth seemed to be turning his answer over in his mind for a moment, as if he hadn’t expected Chrissy to be mad about that. But then – what else could she possibly be mad about?

“He’s going to get hurt,” Gareth finally said. “I don’t want to see that happen.”

“Have you ever considered that you’re the one hurting him right now?”

Gareth recoiled, obviously shocked, “I’m trying to protect him.”

“I know what you’re trying to do,” Chrissy’s voice softened, because she really did understand. She had the urge to bundle Eddie up and protect him too, she didn’t want anyone to go through the heartbreak of not being accepted for who you are. And she knew that Eddie had already been through it, but it didn’t make it any easier. “I just don’t think that’s something we can do without hurting him more.”

Gareth softened too, defeated, and sighed before he continued. “How can we protect him, then?”

“We can’t,” Chrissy moved across to sit next to Gareth. She ignored the fact that their thighs gently brushed against each other. “We just have to be there for him.”

Gareth nodded and leaned further into Chrissy, “I love him, Chris.”

She didn’t feel any jealousy at hearing the words, because she loved Eddie too. The love that she and Gareth had for Eddie was the most wholesome thing she knew. Platonic with a capital P.

“I love him too,” she replied honestly. “And he’s gonna be okay.”

Chrissy pulled Gareth the rest of the way into her, cradling him as his breathing started to quicken.

“And for what it’s worth,” she replied, her voice almost a whisper, “I don’t think Steve’s going to hurt him. Not like that. They seem like good friends.”

“He’s friends with Tommy,” Gareth mumbled, “Tommy made Eddie’s life a living hell.”

“Mine too,” Gareth’s head snapped up at Chrissy’s confession. “But Steve wasn’t there for that. Steve actually defended me a couple of times. I think he’s a good guy.”

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

“That Tommy was a transphobe?” Chrissy snorted. “I thought that would be obvious.”

Gareth pulled away to look Chrissy in the eyes, “I wish you’d have told me.”

For just a moment, Chrissy wanted to lean in. There was a second, a minute fraction of time, where Chrissy thought that Gareth could actually want to kiss her. Her lips tingled from the anticipation of it all. Her eyes briefly flicked down to Gareth’s lips; they looked soft, welcoming. 

She knew that her cheeks were flushed pink and she hoped that she would be able to blame it on an excessive amount of blush – Gareth didn’t know that much about makeup.

Gareth swallowed. Chrissy tracked the movement with wide blue eyes. The way Gareth’s neck moved was entrancing, and she had never found herself truly in awe at someone’s neck before. But she found herself wanting to trail kisses down it, leaving pink lipstick marks to show where she’d been, to show what was hers. 

Because Gareth was hers, or rather, she was his. If he wanted her to be. He had her heart and, if she was honest, he’d had it for a while.

Chrissy didn’t close the gap. Instead, she reached down to her bag and came back with two sachets of microwavable popcorn.

“I think that’s enough depressing talk for now, don’t you?” She forced a smile and hoped it didn’t look as wobbly as it felt.

Gareth’s eyes flicked between Chrissy’s eyes and her lips. She held her breath.

“Did you get me salted popcorn?” 

“Of course,” a small breathy giggle escaped her lips. “And sweet for myself, because I’m not a heathen.”

Gareth pushed her playfully, they laughed together, they went to make popcorn.

And Chrissy did not think about kissing Gareth.

*

Nancy was on the planning committee for the dance she had lovingly named the Snow Ball. In fact, she had nominated herself as head chair of the whole thing, and everyone had enthusiastically agreed. It was a lot, on top of her duties as editor of the school paper and a prefect, but she was running for Head Girl once she got into Sixth Form, and she wanted the best possible chances.

Chrissy found it hard to believe that anyone would even attempt to run for Head Girl when they knew that Nancy was determined to get it. She was a shoe-in.

Still, it was difficult not to admire Nancy. She tried so hard to make everything perfect and she usually succeeded. So when she told them what needed doing for the Snow Ball, they did it.

Chrissy got to have the experience of going shopping for a formal gown. It was utterly magical. Nancy and Robin cooed and took a million pictures. Chrissy just hoped that her tears weren’t obvious in them.

She sent a couple of her favourites off to Eddie and Gareth that night. She had chosen a midnight blue dress with gold sparkles that reminded her of stars. Next to the golden red of her hair, it looked absolutely regal. 

Eddie🏳️‍🌈: chrissy!!! wow

Eddie🏳️‍🌈: is that for the snow ball?

Eddie🏳️‍🌈: you look AMAZING 

Chrissy blushed at her phone, absolutely over the moon with the praise. Gareth was eerily silent. Chrissy tried to avoid checking if he had read the messages, but his little icon was there, taunting her in the corner of the screen.

Chrissy🏳️‍⚧️: why, thank you, edward

Eddie🏳️‍🌈: the guys won’t know what hit em

Eddie🏳️‍🌈: speaking of…

Oh no.

Eddie🏳️‍🌈: you’re coming with us, right?

Chrissy🏳️‍⚧️: actually, i was going with some friends from lenora…

There was a pause where her message had been seen, but no one was typing. Chrissy swallowed down her panic.

Eddie🏳️‍🌈: that’s great! we’ll still see you there!

Eddie🏳️‍🌈: and you owe me at least one dance

Chrissy🏳️‍⚧️: how could i refuse such a fine gentleman?

And then Chrissy put her phone down. She tried not to think about how Gareth hadn’t replied to a single message.

Chapter Text

*

🎸 

*

Chrissy was glowing. There were no two ways about it. And it wasn’t just the dress, though admittedly, the dress was gorgeous. It looked like it belonged to a princess; Chrissy looked like a princess.

It was the smile, though, that really got to Eddie. He had never seen Chrissy look so genuinely elated about a piece of clothing. He’d seen her soft smiles over skirts, or the sparkle in her eye when she gazed lovingly at a pair of heels, but this…

Eddie felt the prickle of tears stinging his eyes. It was such a moving moment.

And it was shattered by the ringing of his phone.

“Gareth?” Eddie frowned, cautious as he answered. “Everything okay, man?”

“No, everything is not o-fucking-kay, Eddie,” he answered, as if that was something Eddie should have known instinctively. “It’s a code red and you’re acting like it’s any other Tuesday.”

“It’s Saturday,” Eddie pulled his phone away from his face to check the date and make sure that he wasn’t inadvertently truanting. He’d almost done that once, had thought a Monday was still a Sunday; he only found out when Wayne dumped ice water on his face and kicked him out of the house.

“The spirit of Tuesday lives on in you,” Gareth clarified. “You’re acting like it’s any other boring day, and we all know Tuesdays are the worst day of the week.”

“Wednesday is literally called hump day.”

“Eddie fucking Munson,” Gareth ground out. Eddie had to hold back a laugh at how serious he sounded. “If you don’t shut your mouth and listen to my code red I will personally murder you.”

Eddie rolled his eyes so hard it must have been audible, but he didn’t say a word.

“Well?” Gareth prompted.

“Well what?”

“Are you going to shut your mouth?”

“You want a verbal confirmation of me shutting my mouth?” Eddie repressed the laugh that threatened to bubble over. Gareth certainly wouldn’t appreciate it.

“Yes,” he replied pointedly. “I don’t trust you.”

“You don’t trust me to be quiet?”

“It’s quite literally the biggest challenge you’ve ever faced.”

“You’re not being literal,” Eddie scoffed. “If you want to use figurative language, that’s fine, but –”

“I’m hanging up now,” Gareth said plainly.

“Wait, no!” Eddie rushed out. “Tell me about the code red. I’ll shut my mouth. Consider it zipped and locked.”

Gareth paused for a long time before he spoke again. If it weren’t for the sounds of his laboured breathing, then Eddie would have assumed that he’d just hung up. But he was there, and he sounded panicked over something.

“Chrissy’s an actual goddess and I’m having a crisis,” he finally whispered.

Eddie waited for him to continue, but despite Gareth practically bullying him into being quiet, it seemed like his friend was waiting for his cue.

“You’re having a crisis because Chrissy looks pretty?” He spoke slowly, ready for Gareth to hang up on him for speaking.

He didn’t.

“Pretty is the understatement of the millennium,” Gareth scoffed.

“Gotta say, Gare-bear,” Eddie chuckled. “I thought it would take you much longer to admit your undying love for Chrissy.”

“You knew?” Gareth screamed into the receiver. Eddie held it away from his ear in an attempt to prevent ear damage.

“I’m pretty smart and you’re pretty obvious.”

Gareth grunted in response.

“Look,” Eddie continued; it seemed like a much better idea to approach the elephant in the room head-on. Charging at an elephant seemed like a bad idea, but at least he would be able to get it over with. “Are you having a crisis because Chrissy’s trans?”

“What?” Gareth sounded appalled. It comforted Eddie, he found his muscles releasing a tension that he hadn’t realised they were holding. “Why would that be why I’m having a crisis?”

“Some straight guys –” Eddie began tentatively, but he didn’t have a chance to finish his sentence before Gareth cut him off.

“I’m not one of them.”

Eddie nodded, “I didn’t think you were. It was just – I had to –”

“I know,” Gareth sighed. “I’m glad you’re looking out for her.”

“So what’s the crisis?” 

“I have a crush on my best friend!” Gareth’s voice was somewhere between a groan and a whine.

“I’m flattered, Gare-bear,” Eddie lowered his voice in a mock-seductive fashion, “But you’re just not my type.”

“I’m straight. Seems like I fit your criteria so far,” he countered. 

“Call me when your hair looks like Steve’s,” Eddie snorted. Gareth cackled, too, seemingly amused by the idea of him having hair like Steve’s. Admittedly, it was a funny thought. Gareth would not pull off the look. 

There was another lull in the conversation following their laughter. Eddie chewed on his lip, waiting for Gareth to speak again. He wanted to handle this situation in the best possible way; both Gareth and Chrissy meant the world to Eddie, he wouldn’t choose between them and he couldn’t live without them. They were a trio and they always would be.

“What do I do, Ed?” Gareth’s voice was soft and Eddie realised that he was scared, realised that this was probably the first time that Gareth had admitted his feelings to someone else, or maybe even to himself.

“Have you thought about asking her out?” 

“What? I –” Gareth spluttered “No. I can’t do that.”

“Why not?” 

“Why not, he says,” derided Gareth. “She’s my best friend.”

“Okay, no need to rub it in,” Eddie switched his phone to speaker, growing bored of holding it up to his ear already. His attention span had always needed work. “Why would that stop you from asking her out?”

“Are you clinically insane?” 

“Not that I know of,” Eddie chuckled. “She’d say yes.”

“How could you know that?”

“I’m gay, not stupid,” Eddie rolled his eyes again. “You’re both madly in love and you should just date, already.”

“I’m not – We’re not –” Gareth’s words were cut off by a groan. “Shut up.”

“Sweet comeback,” Eddie teased.

“I’m done with this,” he announced. “I can’t do this with you. Not now.”

“Gareth, dude, I’m –” Eddie started to say, but Gareth had cut him off before he could say sorry.

*

🏉

*

Steve met Robin in primary school.

Admittedly, he’d been kind of a jerk. As much of a jerk as a ten-year-old was capable of being. He’d had a crush on this girl – Sophia, her name was – and he’d decided the best way to go about expressing those new feelings was to pull on her pigtails. In the blink of an eye, Robin came storming into his life, eyes ablaze.

“Hey!” The girl who stood in front of him was fiery; her fists were clenched in a way Steve had never seen a girl act before. He was taken aback. 

“Hi,” Steve replied in a sunny tone. He was charmed by her immediately and extremely excited to make a new friend.

“You’re mean,” she told him, and she was enraged. The words landed like punches to his gut.

“I’m not,” Steve had protested.

“You pulled her hair,” Robin told him simply. “That was a mean thing to do.”

That rocked Steve, really. “Tommy told me that it means I like her.”

“That’s stupid,” Robin crossed her arms and scoffed. “Tommy’s a dingus.”

Steve had been entranced by them from that moment. He had been his best friend and confidante from that moment onward and, even when he got pulled further into his friendship with Tommy, Robin stood by him and steered him in the right direction. They’d been so patient with him, they’d told him all of their secrets, up to and including asking him to switch pronouns for them. And he’d made the switch instantly, because even if that wasn’t just the bare minimum Robin could have asked from him, he loved Robin more than anything. No matter his gender.

And he needed them now.

Pigeon Boy🐦: Hey Birdie!

Birdie🪶: pigeon boy!!! long time no speak!

Pigeon Boy🐦: Please don’t tell me I am still saved as Pigeon Boy in your phone 🙄

Birdie🪶: but that would be a lie, pidgey

Birdie🪶: and i would never lie to you

Birdie🪶: so, pigeon boy, light of my life, what’s wrong?

Pigeon Boy🐦: Why does something need to be wrong?

Birdie🪶: stevie, sweetie, no offence

Birdie🪶: but you’ve been listening to some questionable things on spotify lately

Pigeon Boy🐦: Ed Sheeran is NOT questionable!

Pigeon Boy🐦: He’s literally one of the most popular artists in the world!

Birdie🪶: steve

Birdie🪶: you have been listening to ‘give me love’ for an hour

Pigeon Boy🐦: …Are you stalking me?

It was the only response he could come up with, because yeah, something weird was going on with him. And he’d been caught out.

Birdie🪶: stop avoiding it.

Birdie🪶: talk to me.

Pigeon Boy🐦: can you come over?

Birdie🪶: be there in 10

Steve put his phone down and tried to figure out exactly what he was going to tell Robin. He hadn’t even gotten it fully figured out himself, and wouldn’t it just be pathetic to tell them “I thought about holding my gay best friend’s hand while he slept”? Steve let out a frustrated half-chuckle-half-sigh at the idea.

He tried again, racking his brain for something that might make a semblance of sense. He could tell them how beautiful Eddie looked in the snow, or how it felt like electricity when they touched. He could tell them that the best parts of his day were the moments he spent sitting next to Eddie in form, even if they were in silence. He could tell them that he would spend forever watching Eddie doodle on his hands, tracing patterns that amazed him every time. He could tell them that Eddie had worn rings one day; he’d been told to take them off almost immediately, because the uniform policy punished individuality, but that Steve had been absolutely entranced by them in the meantime. 

Steve’s mind was still reeling when Robin arrived. Steve grabbed him firmly by the hand and dragged him quickly up to his room, barely giving his parents time to register that he had a guest. He didn’t want to deal with them today. Not now.

“Woah, where’s the fire?” Robin asked breathlessly once the door was firmly shut behind them. Steve locked it too, for good measure. None of his friends had locks on their doors; Tommy thought it was cool, but Steve tried not to think about it too much. Tried not to think about how his parents would rather him lock himself away than be with them.

Steve looked at them, lost. He must have looked as vulnerable as he felt, because Robin sat on his bed and wordlessly beckoned him over. Robin wrapped him into a hug before he spoke again.

“What’s going on, chicken?” they murmured into his shoulder.

“Chicken?” 

“It didn’t feel like a pigeon boy moment,” they clarified, a small chuckle following the words.

Steve just nodded. Robin smoothed their hand across his back, forming soft circles. The sound of Robin’s hand moving across Steve’s back was the only sound that surrounded them for quite some time. And Steve knew how hard it was for Robin to suppress their questions, to remain quiet and let Steve express himself in his own time. 

That’s why it meant so much to him.

“It’s – a lot,” Steve finally croaked out.

“It’s a good thing that I always have time for you, then,” Robin assured him, squeezing him just a little tighter. He always knew exactly what Steve needed.

So he let it all go. He told Robin about every interaction, every moment that he shared with Eddie. He kept himself buried into their chest, so that he didn’t have to see what expressions crossed their face. He loved Robin, but his poker face was shit. And Steve didn’t think he could handle even a minute amount of judgement right now.

“He sounds quite special,” Robin mused.

“He is,” Steve answered honestly.

“This is the most honest with yourself I’ve seen you be in a while,” Robin rubbed circles on his back again, as if they were to soften the blow of the words. But they were right, as much as the words stung. Steve wasn’t himself around Tommy. He never had been.

Feeling brave, Steve quietly admitted, “I want to ask him to the Snow Ball.”

Robin squealed at that, and Steve clapped a hand over their mouth to muffle the sound. They spent the rest of the evening discussing what he should say. Devising a plan, of sorts.

And honestly, Steve felt lighter for having told someone.

*

On Monday, Steve was sitting in the same seat he’d been sitting in for the entire term. Everything should be the same, it was only logical. 

But it was so different.

Steve felt like a different person; the weight of what he’d admitted to Robin that weekend had been lifted, replaced by something else. He felt simultaneously lighter and heavier. He wasn’t going to examine it too much, not yet, he just wanted to focus on his plan for today.

He was going to ask Eddie to the Snow Ball.

He imagined what it would be like. He wondered what Eddie would wear – Steve was planning on wearing a button-up shirt and some jeans, he wanted to look nice for what was essentially their first date, but he didn’t want to overdo it. Would Eddie wear one of his alternative looks, band shirt and ripped jeans? Or a soft sweater like their snow day? 

The thought of their snow day had Steve’s heart doing somersaults.

His thoughts were interrupted by the clunk of Eddie’s backpack dropping onto the table. The litany of pins stuck to the front of it always rattled as he walked. Steve found the noise comforting and, in a weird way, it reminded him of the small bells that cats wore on their collar. It was like a warning that Eddie was about to arrive, giving him enough time to process that his world was about to be flipped in the way that Eddie always managed to do. He’d missed the warning today and his heart felt like it was fit to burst. 

He couldn’t do it yet. So Steve fixed his eyes on the bag; he drew it towards him and ran his fingers over the various pins and patches. 

“Where do you find all of these?”

Eddie’s brow creased, as if he was confused by the question. And maybe he was, it came out of nowhere, but Steve needed a distraction. “Uh – mostly I find them in music stores. HMV has the more popular bands, I got lucky that it became popular to pretend you like bands like Metallica and Guns N’ Roses. Then I go to places like Forbidden Planet for the geeky ones, like that D20 pin.”

Eddie ran his finger over a pin that looked vaguely like a die, albeit a much more complicated one. Steve had never seen one that had more than six sides.

“Is that, like, a dice?” He asked tentatively.

“Die,” Eddie corrected. “Dice is the plural term and there’s only one here.”

“Right,” Steve nodded and, god, it was attractive when Eddie did that.

“But yeah, it’s a D20, which means it has twenty sides,” Eddie continued to explain. “You can use them for a few things, I have some friends that use theirs as life counters for Magic, but I tend to use mine when I play D&D.” Eddie cringed away from Steve, as if he was worried that he’d said something wrong.

“Magic? Like card tricks?” Steve found himself wanting to shift closer to Eddie, close the gap he had created when he pulled away. He stayed where he was.

Eddie snorted, “Uh, no. Magic the Gathering. It’s a card game. There are, like, creatures and spells and stuff. Then D&D is Dungeons and Dragons, it’s a tabletop roleplaying game. Basically one big story-building game, with action and adventure and…”

Eddie trailed off, left his sentence unfinished. Steve mourned the loss of whatever Eddie was going to say, grieved the way that the light faded away from Eddie’s eyes when he stopped himself talking about something that clearly excited him. Steve wished he’d asked about the pins and patches much sooner.

“No, no – tell me about it, please?” Steve chanced a small smile at Eddie, he shuffled closer to him so that there was only a breath of space between their bodies, the sparks flying through the space between them wildly. It set Steve on fire.

And the way that Eddie’s eyes lit up again scorched him.

“Are you fucking with me?” He asked. It looked like he was trying to hide his excitement and Steve hated that.

“Not even a little.”

“Okay, so,” Eddie started, before launching into a ramble about the two games. He graced Steve with the stories of how he’d started playing, how he’d made some of his best friends through them. Steve had no idea that there were entire stores dedicated to these kinds of games, that they often hosted game nights and tournaments and that Eddie was a regular at the events. Steve found himself wanting to go with him. That would be a nice date, he thought…

“Go to the Snow Ball with me,” Steve blurted out, interrupting Eddie’s excited babble.

“What?” Eddie’s voice had shrunk. He was tentative in a way that Steve rarely saw Eddie be around him any more. He wanted the confident Eddie back, the Eddie that barely took a breath when telling Steve about his hobbies, the Eddie that tackled him in the snow without a second thought.

“Just – I think I would have more fun going with you than any of my friends,” Steve looked away from Eddie briefly, afraid of what he would find in Eddie’s eyes.

“Okay,” Steve looked up to find Eddie nodding, with a smile on his face. “That sounds fun.”

“Great!” Steve smiled too, he couldn’t help it when he was around Eddie.

*

🎸

*

Eddie spent the day walking on clouds. He knew that he would have to update Chrissy and Gareth soon enough, but he knew that Gareth was going to say something so depressing and pessimistic about the whole thing, and he wanted to keep this to himself for a moment more. He wanted to feel the happiness of being able to delude himself into thinking that Steve had asked him to a dance. Like it was a date.

And he knew it wasn't. Deep down, Eddie knew that they were going as friends, like Chrissy and Nancy and Robin were. But he could be excited about that too, he could mirror the pure elation Chrissy held for the platonic outing. He just needed time to delude himself first, to live in the daydream.

Eddie decided to burst that bubble later that night. With a sigh, he opened up the groupchat and with shaky fingers, typed out his confession.

Eddie🏳️‍🌈: so…

Eddie🏳️‍🌈: steve asked me to go to the snow ball today

He sighed again and decided to destroy the dream himself. Maybe it would hurt less than hearing the words from his best friend.

Eddie🏳️‍🌈: and YES gareth, i’m sure it’s just as friends, before you jump in here

Gareth🏴‍☠️: I’m just glad I didn’t have to say it.

Eddie🏳️‍🌈: could you try being happy for me for once?

Gareth was typing. Eddie watched with a fire in his chest, burning furiously through the friendship he had with Gareth. He knew it would survive, it always did. But he was still allowed to be just a little pissed at Gareth right now.

Chrissy🏳️‍⚧️: i’m gonna jump in here before you boys kill each other

Chrissy🏳️‍⚧️: i’m happy for you, eds! i’m sure you’ll have lots of fun!

Gareth🏴‍☠️: So I’m just going alone?

And fuck. Eddie hadn’t thought of that. 

Eddie🏳️‍🌈: we can find you someone!

Gareth🏴‍☠️: No thanks. I’ll stay home.

Gareth🏴‍☠️ left Film Nerds

Eddie dropped back on his bed and stared at the ceiling. He’d been so caught up in his stupid little daydream that he hadn’t given any thought to how this would affect Gareth. He’d been selfish, more selfish that he’d ever found himself being before. Eddie cursed himself once. It turned into a string of curses, so many that he couldn’t keep it in his head; he cursed out loud, getting louder until he screamed “fuck!” so loud that Wayne popped his head into Eddie’s room.

“Everythin’ okay, son?” He looked at Eddie with hesitant eyes, concerned at his nephew screaming swear words at the top of his lungs. It wasn’t lost on Eddie that his uncle Wayne called him son. He had done it since Eddie moved in with him, hadn’t hesitated to make Eddie a part of this unconventional little family. 

Eddie sat up so that Wayne could sit next to him. Maybe he should be more conscious of the fact that Wayne had heard him swearing so much, he doubted that the last (loudest) shout was the only one that Wayne had heard, judging by how quickly he’d appeared at the door. Wayne didn’t mind swearing, had always just told Eddie that there was a time and a place, but Eddie still felt embarrassed at having been caught in the middle of what could only be described as an emotional breakdown.

“Gareth is –” he started, slow and unsure.

“Havin’ a tantrum again?” 

Eddie snorted as he tried to hold back the laughter. He wanted to tell his uncle that he’d gotten it wrong, that Eddie was completely in the wrong and that Gareth had every right to hate him.

But what had Eddie actually done?

Made a new friend? Developed a crush? Said yes to hanging out with said friend who he has a crush on?

Sure, Gareth was left without anyone to go to the Snow Ball with for now, but who’s to say he can’t hang out with Chrissy? Or with Eddie and Steve, even, if he wanted to. He had left the group before any solutions could be offered, really.

“He’s mad because he thinks he has to go to the Snow Ball alone,” Eddie nodded.

“What in the shit is a Snow Ball, kid?” 

“It’s this dance that the schools are hosting, both Hawkins and Lenora,” Eddie clarified. “I don’t usually go to that stuff, but Chrissy wanted to go, since she could wear a dress this time. And she has some friends at Lenora that she’s going with. Then my friend Steve asked me to go with him and –”

“I always liked that Chrissy. Nice girl,” Wayne mused. “I haven’t heard you mention a Steve before, though.”

“He’s –” Eddie searched for the right word. “He’s a new friend.”

“And already special enough for you to go with him instead of Gareth,” Wayne nodded, understanding.

“Yeah. Special,” Eddie echoed, looking away from Wayne in an attempt to hide the blush on his cheeks. He pulled a strand of hair over his face and barely resisted the urge to chew on it.

Wayne wrapped an arm around Eddie’s shoulders and drew him close, “You do what makes you happy, son. Just make sure that you’re not forgetting everyone who’s important to you.”

Eddie nodded, and with that, Wayne stood and headed towards the door.

“Dinner’s in an hour,” he said and then disappeared out of Eddie’s room.

Eddie had barely been aware of his phone vibrating through the conversation with Wayne, but he picked it up now, hoping to see Gareth’s name.

He didn’t.

Chrissy🏳️‍⚧️: please don’t spiral eddie

Chrissy🏳️‍⚧️: he needs some time, but he’ll message one of us as soon as he’s ready. you know what he’s like.

Chrissy🏳️‍⚧️: i hope you’re okay

Eddie🏳️‍🌈: i’m okay

Eddie🏳️‍🌈: can you speak to him? make sure he’s okay?

Eddie knew that as soon as Gareth had taken some space, he would be back in the groupchat just like Chrissy said. And Eddie had already planned to set up a movie night, just the three of them. It’s what they needed right now.

Chrissy🏳️‍⚧️: already on it. he’ll be okay.

Eddie🏳️‍🌈: thanks, chrissy cat.

Chrissy🏳️‍⚧️: ❤️

*

🏉

*

The Snow Ball was being held in a grand hotel that year; he wasn’t sure how they’d managed to book the entirety of the Starcourt hotel, but he’d heard that Nancy was the head chair of the planning committee, so it didn’t surprise him one bit.

He wondered if Nancy had hung the decorations herself, because they were ethereal. They had her touch all over it, incandescent and perfect for the theme. It reminded him of his and Eddie’s snow day and that warmed his heart.

Eddie.

He whipped his head around frantically, hoping that he’d see him in the crowded ballroom. Usually, his eyes were drawn to Eddie, as if he was an entire planet with its own gravitational pull. 

There were just too many people. They blocked his view and Steve felt a slight twinge of panic flash across his chest. He wondered if Eddie would even show up tonight, this hardly seemed to be his scene, surely he’d rather go to one of his game nights? 

But Steve had done some research. He’d found himself looking up the schedules of every gaming shop or cafe in a five-mile-radius. None of them had events tonight. It was possible that Eddie could have gone just to play with friends, but there wasn’t a planned tournament or anything tonight, so he wouldn’t stand Steve up, right?

Steve pushed through the sea of bodies, fighting off a spiral.

And then the spiral dissipated, because there he was.

Eddie Munson was standing at the side of the dancefloor, his dark eyes tracing the room. He had one arm hanging limp at his side, and his other hand was clutching at it like it was a lifeline. He seemed to be gripping it hard enough to wrinkle the burgundy button-down he’d donned that evening. It was paired with ripped jeans that showed the skin of his thighs and Steve was just entranced. 

He strode over, crossing the room in as few steps as possible. He needed to take the nerves away from Eddie; he hadn’t seen him look so afraid since they’d first been sat next to each other, or Eddie’s first time in the changing rooms before rugby training. He needed to chase those feelings away with the threat of a baseball bat and make sure they never came back. 

Eddie spotted him as he crossed the room. Steve watched his eyes light up and his heart stuttered when Eddie started walking too, meeting him in the middle.

“I’ve been looking for you,” Eddie smiled sheepishly.

“I’ve been looking for you!” Steve grinned before taking Eddie into his arms for a crushing hug. He thought he heard Eddie’s breath hitch and that made something glow deep inside him.

He took Eddie’s wrist, just close enough to holding hands that Steve’s heart rate skyrocketed, and pulled him aside to a quieter room.

*

It wasn’t long before Tommy found them.

“Steven!” he called out, grinning in that smarmy way he was prone to. “Why you hanging out in here? Bit boring, isn’t it?”

Steve stiffened at the judgement that radiated from his friend, “We just are.”

“Right, well,” Tommy gave him a light punch on the arm. “Big news.”

“Yeah?”

“Nancy Wheeler’s over there,” he nodded in her direction.

Almost imperceptibly, Eddie tensed. The movement was so small that no one else could have caught it, but Steve was so attuned to him now that it was impossible to miss. 

“So?”

“So,” Tommy continued, snaking his arm around Steve’s shoulders in a way that left him feeling slimy. “Now’s your big second chance. Go get 'em, tiger.”

Tommy had steered him over to where Nancy was standing and he left Steve with a wink. 

All he wanted to do was get back to Eddie, but it would be rude to just turn and walk away from Nancy without so much as a hello. And they weren’t on bad terms, not really, despite how abruptly their relationship had ended.

“Hey,” Steve smiled at her, but it wasn’t authentic, not like the smiles he had for Eddie.

“Hi,” Nancy replied, sporting a similar smile.

“I’m sorry about that,” Steve cringed. “Tommy’s an idiot.”

“Right,” Nancy nodded. “Because we kissed once, he thinks we’re soulmates, that it?”

“Something like that,” Steve admitted, staring at the floor. “All my friends seem to want to set us up.”

Nancy let out a breathy laugh and shook her head.

“Not that you’re like – not attractive, I – you’re very pretty, it’s just –”

“Steve,” Nancy stopped him. “It’s okay. I don’t like you like that either.”

And that should have been obvious, considering the whole break up they’d been through, but Steve was relieved to hear it.

“All of this could’ve been avoided if I just…” Nancy looked off to the side, lost in thought.

“Just what?”

“Told everybody I’m a lesbian,” she finished, looking tentatively up to Steve.

“Well, yeah, but,” Steve shrugged. “I guess that’s not something you’d want to lie about.”

“It wouldn’t be a lie,” she told him with a gentle smile. Nancy was meeting his eyes, but he could see something nervous and unsure behind them. “That’s my girlfriend over there,” she said, pointing back to a group of people. “The disaster in the suit.”

A suit that Steve recognised. That Steve had helped pick out a tie for, a cute little bow-tie that he now realised matched the exact colour of Nancy’s dress. Steve strode over to Robin without another word.

“Steve, wait –” Nancy called behind him.

Robin turned around at the mention of his name.

“Birdie, you little snake!” Steve pulled Robin into a hug immediately. “You got a girlfriend and didn’t tell me?”

“Steve, I –”

“You two know each other?” Nancy interrupted from behind them.

“Robbie’s one of my best friends,” Steve explained. “Has been since they told me off for pulling a girl’s pigtails in year five. He looked like he wanted to punch me. Total badass move.”

Nancy’s face softened at that; Steve wasn’t sure if it was the nickname, the pronouns, or something else entirely, but she looked relaxed now, happy with the idea of Steve being supportive.

“You’re not mad?” Robin asked, still tucked under Steve’s arm.

“I wish you hadn’t hid it from me,” Steve shrugged. “But I get why you did. I’m glad I know now.”

“It’s just that Nancy’s your –”

“I know,” Steve squoze them a little tighter. “But I’m over her, and I’m glad you’re happy together.”

“Steve Harrington,” Nancy shook her head with a smile. “Always full of surprises.”

“Just wait until you hear who he has a crush on!” Robin vibrated under his arm.

Steve took the opportunity to slap a hand over their mouth, “Alright that’s enough of that! I’ll leave you two lovebirds alone.”

And he turned to find Eddie, but Eddie was gone.

*

🎸

*

Eddie couldn’t do it.

He just wasn’t strong enough to watch Steve smile and flirt with his ex-girlfriend. He wasn’t strong enough to face the reality that he’d been trying to push away.

And it had been so much easier to push it away when they were at Hawkins, when Nancy wasn’t right there in front of him, when Eddie could pretend that there was the tiniest slither of a chance that Steve could like him in the way he wanted him to.

But Gareth was right.

Steve was straight. Steve was in love with Nancy. Steve and Eddie were never going to be anything more than friends. He was going to try to accept that. 

He needed to apologise to Gareth.

But right now, more urgently, Eddie needed to get out of there.

*

🏉

*

Steve was still searching for Eddie when he heard Tommy’s voice ring out above the music.

“Harrington!” He slapped Steve hard across the back in a way that was meant to be friendly, but was condescending at best. “Why are you all alone? Where’s Nancy?”

“I’m looking for Eddie,” Steve wriggled out of Tommy’s grasp. “Excuse me.”

“Do you just feel sorry for him because he’s gay?” And Steve froze at Tommy’s words.

“He’s my friend,” Steve ground out.

“But why?” Tommy scoffed, but then his eyes lit up in the most dangerous way. “Wait – do you think he has a crush on you? Oh, that’s hilarious.”

When Steve swallowed, it felt like glass scraping down his throat. The way his friends laughed cut at him, both inside and out.

“Oh my god,” Tommy continued, venom in his voice. “How sad.”

“That’s homophobic, Tommy,” Steve gritted his teeth, moved past the bile that was churning in his stomach. “And I really don’t like you.”

Steve turned on his heel and walked away before Tommy could say anything else.

*

Searching for Eddie the second time around was frantic and frenzied. He just wanted to find him, make sure that he was okay and, to be honest, Steve was still reeling from Tommy’s words. He had to fight back the urge to go and find Tommy so that he could punch him.

So it was really important that he found Eddie. Because he shouldn’t punch Tommy’s lights out at a goddamn school event.

When he felt someone grasp his arm, Steve let himself feel just a glimmer of hope. Until he twisted around in his grasp and realised that the fingers that were reaching out weren’t Eddie’s. Joey stood opposite him, a half-smile across his lips and something unreadable in his eyes.

“Steve,” his voice was saccharine and almost disappeared behind the music. “Dance with me?”

“Uh,” Steve’s eyes flicked around, anywhere but Joey. “I’m looking for someone.”

“You’ll find them,” Joey purred, and then dragged him to the centre of the dancefloor. 

Joey didn’t let go of his arm while they danced; Steve tried to subtly pull it away a couple of times, but Joey tugged him in closer. Steve couldn’t help but feel like if it was someone else, if it was a ring-clad hand on his bicep instead of this one, then he might enjoy it a bit more. 

They’d had a similar story, really. Steve and Joey were paired for English, told to sit next to each other and complete some research project on Wordsworth. Each pair in the class got a different poet. And they’d gotten along. Steve was trying to make friends outside of the rugby team, especially since Eddie had entered his life. And in some ways, Joey and Eddie were similar. They both donned alternative styles, different in a way that Steve just couldn’t put a finger on, and they both listened to some form of rock music. But Eddie was entrancing.

And Joey…

He seemed to get the wrong idea.

Joey was getting dangerously close to Steve and he felt the panic rising every time Joey swayed towards him. 

“I really like you, Steve,” he whispered into Steve’s ear. He was close enough that he could smell vodka on his breath – had someone managed to sneak that into the hotel? Joey swayed once more, nearly closing the gap. Steve took a large step back, managing to free his arm from Joey’s grasp.

“Sorry, I –” he took another step back. “I really need to go.”

He turned on his heel and was pushing through the crowds before Joey could argue.

*

Seeing Eddie was like coming home.

It knocked the wind right out of him, and he’d never understood the idea of being made breathless by somebody until he’d experienced it in the form of Eddie Munson. 

He wasn’t even doing anything special; he was just sitting there, perched on the edge of a sofa that Steve suspected was only meant to be decorative and was in no way comfortable. His one hand was resting on his thigh and the other held a glass of coke. The fingers that were wrapped around the glass were adorned with rings, the same ones he’d been forced to take off last week in school, and they glinted when they caught the light.

And Steve was mesmerised. 

Eddie spotted him as he started walking over – how could he not? Steve was barrelling towards Eddie, he couldn’t wait a second longer to be near him.

Without a second of hesitation, Steve took Eddie’s hand and said “Let’s go explore.”

Eddie nodded, a smile creeping across his face. Steve took the half-drunk coke from him and left it on a table. He wanted to hold that hand instead, the one with all the rings. So he did. He took hold of Eddie’s left hand, he revelled in the cool metal pressed against his skin, and he started running.

They ran through the hallways, hands still intertwined. Their laughter echoed through the stairways. They kept running and it felt so good.

Steve ground to a halt outside of a large, ornate-looking door. He was sure it would be locked, it had to be. They would have to be stupid to leave such an enticing-looking door unlocked when a horde of teenagers was about to descend upon their hotel.

Steve tried the door anyway.

They weren’t stupid.

But Eddie gently pushed Steve aside and fell to his knees in front of the door. He fished something out of his pocket and fiddled around with the lock until it clicked, he twisted, and the door swung open.

And if that was the moment when Steve realised exactly why he’d taken Eddie’s hand and ran away from the crowd, well, that was nobody’s business except his own.

Steve entered the room first, looking around with awe. It was another ballroom, just as large as the first, which held the Snow Ball festivities. 

“Woah,” he spun around until he was facing Eddie again. “Where did you learn to do that?”

Eddie shrugged, “YouTube. I’ve never actually tried it before. Surprised it worked.”

“You’re incredible,” Steve whispered, but judging by the blush spreading across Eddie’s cheeks, he’d heard it. Steve was okay with that.

He made his way to the edge of the ballroom and took a seat on the floor under a large window. Eddie followed. He sat down just far enough away that they could say they were friends. That the gap between them nullified any feelings that were kicking around in Steve’s gut.

“You left,” Steve broke the silence with two words that left a hole in his heart. The one thing that Eddie could do to hurt him. 

“Sorry,” Eddie apologised quickly. “Your friends are just – they’re kinda intimidating.”

Steve cringed when he heard Eddie say the word friends, “I don’t think I want to be friends with them any more.”

They shifted back into a comfortable silence, each of them with their eyes on the wall opposite.

“So,” Eddie twisted around to face Steve. “Was Tommy serious? Do you like Nancy?”

And Steve couldn’t ignore the panic in his voice. It made his stomach flip.

“No! No, of course not,” Steve shook his head, hoping Eddie would believe him. “We’re just friends. I think we’re friends. Friends by association, at least.”

Eddie nodded, “So you don’t have a crush on anyone at the moment?”

Steve’s heart stuttered, “Well, I – I didn’t say that.”

“Oh,” Eddie gulped. Steve tried not to have a breakdown over how sunken Eddie looked. “What’s she like then?”

“You’re just going to assume they’re a she?” Steve caught Eddie’s eye with that one and Eddie straightened up. Steve was sure he was going to have a heart attack any moment now, there was no way it was healthy for his heart to be beating that fast.

But then Eddie would look at him, and time would slow down, and Steve felt like he could breathe again. It was like oxygen only existed around Eddie.

“Are they –” Eddie’s voice was low, a conspiratorial whisper. He paused like he’d thought better of his question, but god, Steve hoped he would keep going. “Are they not a girl?”

Suddenly, it all became a bit real. They weren’t a girl. It was a fact so freeing and so fucking terrifying at the same time. He looked away from Eddie, keeping eye contact with his doe eyes just seemed impossible at that moment.

“Um –” Steve fought to get the words out, but they wouldn’t come.

And Eddie seemed to know what he needed. Their connection was truly something else because when Steve felt like he couldn’t get the words out, Eddie tried again: “Would you go out with someone who wasn’t a girl?”

“I don’t know,” Steve breathed. Eddie was next to him. Fresh air and freedom and fire. “Maybe.”

Eddie’s foot inched closer to his own. He placed his hand down next to Steve’s on the floor. He stared straight ahead, not at Steve, when he said “Would you kiss someone who wasn’t a girl?”

“I don’t know,” Steve whispered again. 

There was hope or something like it flickering behind Eddie’s brown eyes. Steve couldn’t look away again, he wouldn’t. Eddie’s hand crept over to Steve’s, sparks flying where their pinkies touched, ever so softly.

Steve thought he might leave it there, that he might stop asking and they’d never know what could have been. But he just wanted – no, needed – Eddie to be brave in that moment. He needed Eddie to be sure of himself, he needed Eddie to just ask because he couldn’t say it for himself, but he so badly wanted to.

“Would you –” Eddie started again and Steve’s heart was threatening to pound right out of his chest. “Would you kiss me?”

Steve closed any gap between their hands. He looped their pinkies together, because it was all he could do at that moment. He needed to be closer to Eddie, to never let go.

“Yeah,” Steve admitted quietly, as if this moment was just for them, as if they weren’t in an abandoned ballroom and people were in danger of hearing, of stealing their moment.

Eddie’s breath hitched. He leaned in slowly, eyes wide like he was trying to approach a wild animal without scaring it off. Steve’s eyes fluttered closed.

When their lips met, it was an explosion. If every lingering glance and almost-touch had left Steve feeling burnt, now he was truly flayed alive. He’d thought that the movies were lying, you see, that kissing never had a spark to it, but that people enjoyed it because it was soft and comforting and warm. But kissing Eddie was an inferno. 

Eddie pulled away too quickly and shuffled back slightly, concern in his eyes. Steve turned away for a moment too, trying to make some sense of the thoughts tangled in his head. 

He couldn’t do it for long, though. Every part of his soul was aching to get back to Eddie.

Steve scooped Eddie’s hand up in his own and gave it a reassuring squeeze, then he was leaning in again.

Their second kiss was just as magical as the first. Eddie’s left hand rested softly against his cheek and Steve nearly gasped at the way his rings felt against his skin. He grabbed hold of Eddie’s shirt in his fist and gave it a swift tug, bringing Eddie closer to him. It was only mere inches, but Steve needed to be as close to Eddie as possible. 

They kissed until Steve thought his heart might burst, then they pulled away, gasping for air as they rested their foreheads against each other. 

Eddie looked at him so tenderly, he treated Steve like a precious thing. They’d just kissed and Eddie looked at him reverently and asked “You okay?” in the sweetest voice Steve had ever heard.

And he was going to answer him.

He was.

Then Tommy’s voice echoed through the corridor.

“Steve! Harrington!”

Steve turned away from Eddie in a panic.

“Man, are you up here?” 

Tommy’s voice was getting closer and it was all too much, too soon. Nevermind what Tommy would do to Eddie in that situation. 

And so Steve scrambled to his feet, without saying a word, and he ran.

Chapter Text

*

🎸 

*

Steve ran away.

They’d kissed, and for one magical moment, Eddie had everything he could ever want. There were honest-to-god fireworks when their lips met. And Eddie hadn’t really known what to expect, it was his first kiss, after all. But it was perfect.

And then Steve ran away.

Eddie’s heart shattered so completely that he heard the crack. It echoed around the empty room. The tears were flowing by the time he fished his phone out of his back pocket and called Wayne, practically begging for a ride home through the hiccups of cries. 

Wayne didn’t ask. Eddie didn’t tell him.

Eddie retreated straight to his room. He didn’t come out the next morning, even though his stomach beckoned him to the kitchen. He didn’t have the energy. He just wallowed. He thought about their kiss. He thought about the sound of Steve’s retreating footsteps and the burn in his chest as he cried. He thought about how he would have to ask Mr Dean for a new seat on Monday, without somehow showing just how broken he’d become over the weekend.

*

🏉

*

Steve shouldn’t have ran. 

He knows that. 

But Tommy had been there, looking for him. Tommy had apologised, in his own sort of way, telling Steve that it was “Just banter, Steve. You know that, I know that. Even Eddie the Freak knows that.”

And Steve had shrunk, told Tommy “Yeah, just banter,” even though he used that nickname for Eddie that made Steve want to punch him all over again.

He’d spent the rest of the night looking for Eddie, asking anyone who he came across if they’d seen him. He even cornered Robin and Nancy at one point.

“Have you seen Eddie?” he rushed out, grasping each of them by the arm. Robin must have seen the panic in his eyes, he was sure they looked wild, because their eyes softened immediately.

“What happened?” they stroked Steve’s arm slowly, grounding him, reassuring him that someone was there. Steve so badly wanted to believe that they wouldn’t leave.

“I fucked up,” was the only answer that he gave. And then Robin dragged both him and Nancy out of the crowd and into a taxi to Steve’s house. 

Steve was silent the whole time.

He stayed silent even in his room, even the next morning, he stared up at the ceiling, too broken to even blink.

“Steve?” Robin whispered into the abyss. “Are you awake?”

Robin and Nancy had slept on Steve’s bed. Steve opted for the floor, even though Robin had attempted to drag him into bed along with the pair of them. But he needed the solid ground underneath him. He needed the aching pain he would inevitably wake up with (and regret by the time Monday’s rugby practice came around). 

He tried to reply in the affirmative and found his voice cracked and groggy from disuse when he finally said “yeah”.

He heard Robin shuffling underneath the duvet, then the unmistakable sound of him patting the bed next to him. An invitation.

Steve groaned and his back clicked, but he got up and settled into bed with Robin and Nancy anyway. Nancy was still asleep, breathing softly next to Robin. They gave their girlfriend an affectionate look before turning away from her, turning to face Steve fully, faces inches from each other as they lay next to each other.

Steve wondered what it would be like to lie next to Eddie in this way, how the familiar jolt of electricity would travel between them, how he could close the gap with a kiss.

And his gut lurched at the idea that he wouldn’t get that opportunity. Because he’d fucked it all up. 

“Do you wanna tell me about it yet?” Robin asked, his voice gentle. Prodding but not pushing, never forcing Steve’s hand.

“I fucked up, Robin,” he repeated, an echo of his words the night before, still at a loss for how he could describe exactly what he’d done.

“I’m sure it’s not that bad,” Robin whispered, pushing a stray strand of hair out of Steve’s face.

“He kissed me. And it was wonderful,” Steve sighed. “And I ran away. Heard Tommy’s voice and panicked and just booked it out of there.”

Robin paused, her hand still in Steve’s hair, “Okay. Maybe it is that bad.”

Steve groaned and fought back tears. He knew they’d fall eventually, but he really didn’t want them to fall in front of Robin and Nancy. His best friend and his ex-girlfriend, who was currently dating said best friend. It would be too much to handle.

Steve squoze his eyes shut, blocking out the world as much as he could. “What do I do?”

“You apologise,” Robin said, like it was the simplest thing in the world. “You grovel and ask for his forgiveness. You explain why you panicked, and you go from there.”

“And if he doesn’t forgive me?”

Robin stroked his hair, “Then we get ice cream. Lots of it.”

Steve nodded.

He was already dreading the next day. Dreading the return of Monday, which would bring about Eddie and the pain Steve saw in his eyes before he ran. But he could make it right. He would make it right. He had to.

*

Monday arrived. Steve squirmed in his seat and watched the clock. He was nervous, he had spent so long thinking of what he was going to say to Eddie, but he hadn’t planned for him to just… not show up to form. 

Eddie’s seat stayed empty for the twenty minutes that Steve was forced to sit there and listen to Mr Dean run through announcements.

At lunchtime, Steve found himself strolling past the music rooms. He peeked into the window of the only room with a closed door. Eddie was strumming wildly on an electric guitar in a way that almost looked unrestrained. And Steve couldn’t hear what he was playing, the music rooms had been soundproofed, but his heart kicked up and joined the rhythm of Eddie’s strums. 

Eddie looked hollow, dejected. Steve hated that he had caused all of that. He wanted so badly to fix it. But this wasn’t the time.

So he walked away. He left Eddie to play.

And Eddie didn’t show up to rugby practice. 

*

On Tuesday, Eddie did show up to form.

He arrived, almost late as usual, and Steve buzzed with anticipation. He had his script worked out now, he’d agonised over it for hours with Robin, getting the wording just right. It needed to be perfect for Eddie. It needed to be perfect like Eddie.

Steve watched as Eddie strode over to Mr Dean. He was saying something to their form tutor when Mr Dean’s eyes flicked over to Steve’s. Eddie didn’t look over at him. Then, with a sigh, Mr Dean pointed Eddie to an empty seat on the other side of the classroom. 

Steve felt his heart break again. He wondered if it was possible for the broken halves to break even further.

*

🎸

*

Chrissy added Gareth back into the groupchat on Tuesday afternoon. Eddie didn’t waste a moment, he needed Gareth back; he really didn’t feel like spending the entire last week of school before Christmas completely and utterly alone.

Eddie🏳️‍🌈: gareth, listen, i am so sorry

Eddie🏳️‍🌈: you’re my best friend

Gareth🏴‍☠️: Yeah, whatever, man

Gareth🏴‍☠️: I’m sorry too

And just like that, the conversation started flowing freely again. No matter how things ended up with Steve, Eddie knew that he had love in the form of Chrissy and Gareth. 

He didn’t talk about the party, couldn’t bring himself to admit to someone else that Steve had run . Away from him. To Tommy. It didn’t matter which one. He’d run.

Chrissy🏳️‍⚧️: i think we need a proper reunion

Eddie🏳️‍🌈: all those in favour of a movie night?

Gareth🏴‍☠️: Aye!

Chrissy🏳️‍⚧️: don’t make me do it

Chrissy🏳️‍⚧️: don’t rope me into your nerd shenanigans

Eddie🏳️‍🌈: gare-bear, did you hear chrissy’s answer?

Gareth🏴‍☠️: I’m afraid I did not, good sir

Eddie🏳️‍🌈: that’s weird

Eddie🏳️‍🌈: me neither

Chrissy🏳️‍⚧️: FINE

Chrissy🏳️‍⚧️: aye

Eddie🏳️‍🌈: huzzah!

Chrissy🏳️‍⚧️: i hate you both, for the record

Eddie🏳️‍🌈: we’re fine with that

Gareth🏴‍☠️: Speak for yourself

The laughter that rocked through Eddie that night was the most genuine it had been since the Snow Ball on Saturday. He’d been a shell of himself, really. He’d lost himself over Steve fucking Harrington.

Gareth and Chrissy were the key to getting himself back.

He was okay with that, really.

*

“What happened with Harrington?” Gareth asked from his place next to Chrissy on the bed. Eddie had ended up on Chrissy’s floor this time, sitting cross-legged on the fluffy blue rug which Gareth usually claimed. Eddie pretended to not notice that they were holding hands under the blanket. He’d ask for that story later.

“What?” Eddie stiffened at the question; it was so direct, so knowing.

“At the Snow Ball,” Gareth clarified with a fond eye roll. “I’m sure you’re dying to tell us about it. I bet it’s killed you not to mention his name for a few days.”

“Um,” Eddie shuffled in his seat, suddenly uncomfortable. “It was fine. Lots of people. Lots of dancing. He saw Nancy.”

“Oh,” Chrissy’s voice was soft.

“Are they getting back together?” Gareth asked. Chrissy elbowed him in the ribs, hard.

“Maybe,” Eddie replied at the same time Chrissy gave a firm “No.” Gareth looked between the two of them, slightly dumbfounded, his mouth slightly open.

Eddie narrowed his eyes at Chrissy, “What do you know?”

Chrissy looked like she wanted to disappear. He was sure that if this wasn’t her house, she’d have made an excuse of some kind so that she could get up and leave. She sat there for a moment, looking uncomfortable and chewing at her lip. 

He saw Gareth’s arm twitch and he assumed that he’d given her hand a reassuring squeeze.

Wordlessly, Chrissy found something on her phone and handed it to Eddie. He frowned again, but guessed it must answer his question.

And it did, somewhat.

Chrissy had pulled up Nancy’s most recent Instagram post. It was a picture of her being kissed on the cheek by someone who was definitely not Steve. His eyes flicked down to the caption, which read “Girlfriends 💕🏳️‍🌈”. 

Oh.

“You remember how I said that Nancy definitely wasn’t interested?” 

Eddie nodded.

“Well, it wasn’t my story to share. I’m not going to out someone,” Chrissy shrugged. “But Nancy and Robin are telling people now.”

Eddie shouldn’t have scrolled. He shouldn’t have let his curiosity get the better of him. But he only had to scroll down a millimetre or so to show the comments. And there it was.

@stevenjharrington: Officially my favourite couple ever!!🏳️‍🌈

              @rockinrobin: steve, get your embarrassing ally ass off my girlfriend’s post

              @stevenjharrington: Am I not allowed to be happy for my best friend?

              @rockinrobin: no. you’re not. unless you bring us food.

It made Eddie’s heart lurch.

Ally. Steve’s friend had called him an ally.

An ally who runs away when he kisses a boy. When he gives someone their first kiss.

Eddie swallowed the pain and handed Chrissy her phone back.

“They look really cute together,” Eddie said, because it was really the only thing he could say.

*

🏉

*

On Wednesday, Steve had a rugby game. Or he was supposed to. Eddie’s departure from the team had screwed them over. Tommy hadn’t stopped going on about it, talking shit until Steve snapped.

“Oh, just shut the fuck up, Tommy,” he ground out. “He quit. We find someone else. Big deal.”

Except it was a big deal. To Steve, anyway.

He hadn’t stopped thinking about Eddie since the Snow Ball. It killed him that he’d hurt Eddie. He’d sent a string of unanswered texts, mostly just asking if he was okay, or if they could talk. He toyed with the idea of outright telling Eddie that he missed him, but that seemed like crossing a line when Eddie didn’t want to talk to him. Couldn’t even stand to sit next to him for twenty minutes a day; couldn’t stand to look over at him, even when Steve couldn’t look away.

Steve spent a lot of time thinking about what he’d lost. What was right in front of him and he was stupid and scared enough to run away from.

Robin told him that it was okay, that Nancy was scared too when she first realised she was a lesbian. But Steve didn’t think he was gay. He liked girls. He just also liked Eddie.

He took quiz after quiz (he was 62% gay, information which he relayed to Robin, even though they laughed at him). 

“Steve,” they said, wheezing for breath. “You can’t just take a quiz.”

“Then why are they there?” he grumbled.

“Do me a favour, buddy,” he placed a hand on Steve’s shoulder. “Google bisexuality for me.”

So Steve did. It helped a lot. It meant that he had the words to express how he felt when Eddie finally replied to him.

If he ever did.

But they had to cancel the rugby match because they didn’t have a reserve, so he was at a cafe with Robin and Nancy, getting milkshakes to soothe the ache in his chest. Or replace it with the dull pain that came with drinking something nearly frozen too quickly.

He was almost having a good time until he heard his name.

“Steve,” Joey dragged out the single syllable of Steve’s name as he strode over to them with a confident swagger he had no business having. 

“Hey Joey,” Steve replied, trying to mask the obvious discomfort on his face.

Joey didn’t seem to notice it anyway. He grabbed a chair and sat at the end of their table; the chains on his belt clinked as they hit the metal chair and it made Steve cringe. He had a denim jacket on today, frayed and worn around the edges. Steve kind of liked the look, but he wished that Joey didn’t lean in so close to him.

“Fancy seeing you here,” he smiled and his eyes crinkled, it looked odd with the black shadow that had been smudged around them. The smile changed the shape of his eyes and it just looked wrong. 

“Fancy that,” Robin interrupted. “I’m Robin, and you are?”

Steve would marry her if he could.

“Joey,” he nodded to Robin and directed his eyes back to Steve immediately, not even bothering to introduce himself to Nancy. Steve didn’t like that.

“We were just getting milkshakes,” Steve explained for lack of a better thing to say.

Joey’s tongue flicked out to wet his lips. Steve tracked the movement, out of habit rather than desire. 

“Are you going to offer me your cherry, Stevie?” He cocked his head, eyes sparkling from the double entendre he wasn’t even trying to make subtle.

Steve regretted getting the black forest milkshake. Wished immediately that he’d gone for any other milkshake, anything without a cherry garnish.

“Uh,” he nudged the glass over to Joey, suddenly feeling too nauseous to drink the milkshake he’d paid an extortionate amount for. “Go for it.”

“Such a gentleman,” Joey cooed. “Think I can get you on an actual date next time, without your friends gawping at me?”

Joey gestured over to Robin and Nancy, who sat there with matching expressions, mouths agape and forming a perfect ‘o’ shape. Steve silently begged them for help, but they weren’t getting it, and Steve was running out of time.

Joey shuffled closer and Steve was flailing.

“How does Saturday sound?” An easy smile was on Joey’s lips. Steve was becoming aware of the presence around them. People who must be friends of Joeys, or people who just happened to be in the cafe too. People who seemed vaguely familiar, but none he could name.

Panic was rising in Steve’s chest and he had to say something.

So he said “Sure. Saturday.”

Joey left after putting his number in Steve’s phone and texting himself.

*

🎸

*

He missed Steve.

He hated to admit it, because he was trying so hard not to. He’d been spending all of his free time with Gareth or Chrissy or both (mainly both, now that they were well and truly dating). He even let Gareth complain about how much of an asshole Steve was.

But still, Eddie missed him.

School was a miserable affair, now. He sat in form with his back to Steve and he felt eyes boring into him like lasers. The heat of Steve’s gaze caused him physical pain, if that was possible. And it was agony to stay still, to not turn around and meet Steve’s eye.

Eddie was weak. He knew it was only a matter of time before he gave in.

And he knew it would hurt all over again.

*

🏉

*

When Thursday came, Steve was determined to call it off. He found Joey before form, ready to tell him that he didn’t want to go on the date. He would make up some excuse, or just tell him that he didn’t fancy him – it all sounded so juvenile, fancying somebody in the face of the deep feelings he had developed for Eddie. 

“Joey! Hey,” Steve took a seat next to him on the bench. They were away from the crowd of people milling around, enjoying their remnants of freedom before the school bell rang.

“Hi,” Joey smiled up at him, but he was missing the glint in his eye that he’d had the evening before. Steve tried not to dwell on it. He made a point not to ask, just to get it over with and tell Joey he wasn’t going on the date.

“What’s wrong?” his traitorous lips asked. Shit.

Joey glanced up at him for a moment, assessing. “My dog died.”

Steve didn’t think his heart could plummet any further, thought that it had stopped feeling entirely. But at the thought that he was about to drop more bad news on someone who’s dog had died? He couldn’t be that heartless.

He could hang out with Joey for a couple of hours.

“Shit,” Steve sighed and ran a hand through his hair. He couldn’t imagine a life without Nellie, stuck in his big house with parents who don’t pay attention to him, without an ally. He hated that he would have to live that reality someday. “I’m sorry to hear that.”

“I’m just glad that I have a pre-planned distraction on Saturday,” Joey smiled up at him tentatively.

Steve couldn’t tell him yet.

*

“Rob, what am I going to do?” Steve groaned and scrubbed his left hand over his face, the one that wasn’t holding out his phone to show his face. Robin was on the other side of the camera, looking smug.

“You have a date, you should be happy about that,” Robin smiled at him knowingly. “You always complain about being single.”

“I do not,” he insisted, but he knew it was a lie.

“So, tell him you don’t want to go,” they replied simply.

“I can’t do that,” Steve repeated. They’d been going around in circles.

“Do you even like this guy?”

“Well, um,” Steve paused, eyes fixed on a blank spot on his wall, just under his framed picture of a red sports car, an attempt at a gift from his parents, who had tried to buy something that he would like. He didn’t like it. “His dog died.”

Robin choked on a laugh before schooling his face into something more neutral, “I see.”

“He was really upset,” Steve explained, “And I felt bad. I couldn’t tell him. Not when he was already upset about his dog. Imagine if it was Nellie, Robs!”

“Right,” Robin cleared his throat. “You shouldn’t go out with someone just because you feel sorry for them.”

Steve sighed. He wondered if he could make a noise that wasn’t a sigh or a groan, he couldn’t remember the last time he’d laughed, “I know.”

*

🎀

*

“Chrissy!” came the cry through the door, bookended by a loud hammering which Chrissy knew her mother wouldn’t appreciate.

“Christ, Gareth!” Chrissy’s shout was a hushed whisper as she opened the door, but Gareth flinched all the same.

“It’s urgent,” he said with a grimace on his face. Gareth was serious, and he was rarely serious. Chrissy ushered him upstairs to her room.

“Well?” She asked, once they were perched on the end of her bed. She took Gareth’s hand to steady him and revelled in the way that she could do that now. She wanted to kiss him, kiss the worry off of his face, but she figured that could wait. 

“Steve’s got a date,” he rushed out.

“With Eddie?” she brightened.

“No.”

“I’m not following,” Chrissy shuffled in her seat, vaguely uncomfortable with discussing something which they really needed Eddie here for. 

Gareth took a steadying breath, “So I was at the milkshake place with some of the guys from the film club, right? And Steve was there, third-wheeling with Nancy and Robin. We were sat on the table behind them; I caught Steve looking at me a few times, but I suppose he’s seen me around with Eddie so –”

“Gareth,” Chrissy gave him a light push. “The point. Get to it.”

“Steve gave Joey Saunders his milkshake, then Joey asked him out and Steve said – and I quote – sure,” he was breathing rapidly now, either through panic or anger, Chrissy wasn’t sure.

“Oh,” Chrissy breathed.

“Yeah, oh,” Gareth let go of her hand to tug at his hair with both hands.

“So, he does like guys?”

Gareth was aghast, “That’s what you’re focused on?” 

“It’s an important revelation!” she defended.

“He’s going on a date with someone who’s not Eddie and I don’t know how to tell him!” Gareth flopped onto the bed fully and buried his face in Chrissy’s pillow. As much as she knew she should be freaking out on Eddie’s behalf, she couldn’t help but focus on the flutter of her heart, seeing Gareth in her space in this way, just like he was before, but now with a different context.

“It’ll break his heart,” Chrissy murmured, not wanting to speak her friend’s hurt into the universe. She wished she could speak his happiness into the universe instead.

Gareth said something into the pillow, but it was muffled and sounded like a guttural noise rather than words.

“I know, we should do it anyway,” she sighed, carding her fingers through Gareth’s hair. He flinched when her nails snagged on a knot in his tangled mess of waves.

Gareth nodded slowly.

Chrissy liked the sound of taking things on together, even if it was this.

*

🎸

*

On Friday, Eddie found a note sat on his chair. 

He didn’t see it until he pulled the chair out. But it was there, perched on the blue plastic. White paper with his name scrawled across in blue pen.

Handwriting that he recognised.

He scooped the paper up and put it into his blazer pocket without looking at it. He couldn’t read it while he was being watched, and the distinct prickle on the back of his neck let him know that he was being watched. He always was, when he sat in this seat. 

Eddie kept his fingers curled around the smooth paper, though. Kept his hand in his pocket to remind himself that the note was real.

Steve had tried to contact him for the first few days. Eddie couldn’t face it. Seeing Steve’s name hurt too much. It reminded him of Saturday night, of the Snow Ball and shattered hearts.

And then when it stopped appearing, that hurt more.

When the bell rang to signal the end of form and the beginning of the first lesson of the day, Eddie pushed out of his chair with reckless abandon and made his way to the bathroom before Mr Dean could protest.

He felt hazel eyes on him the entire time.

*

“Meet me in the clearing in the woods after school,” the note had said. It wasn’t signed. It didn’t need to be. Eddie would recognise the handwriting anywhere. He wondered if Steve knew that he would recognise it, that he wouldn’t need to sign it for that reason. Or perhaps he was worried that Eddie wouldn’t show up if he did sign it. Maybe he was worried either way.

Eddie certainly was. Worried, that is. His anxiety wrapped around him and coiled tighter, constricting around him like a snake, stealing all of his air.

It only got tighter when he heard the crunch of footsteps behind him. It had snowed again. Eddie’s heart ached when he saw the snow-dusted ground, his mind betraying him with thoughts of their snow day. Their almost kiss. 

How much more perfect it was than their actual kiss.

“Hi,” Steve’s voice came from behind him. He sounded like a broken thing. Eddie felt like one.

Eddie took a breath to soothe himself before he turned to face Steve, “Hi.”

His voice sounded as wobbly as his legs felt.

“Eddie, I’m so sorry,” Steve rushed out, repeating the words that had flooded Eddie’s notifications on Sunday. Almost a week ago. “I shouldn’t have run away. I regret that more than anything. You have to believe me.”

Eddie gave a noncommittal shrug. He wanted to break, to fall into Steve’s arms like he belonged there. He reminded himself that he didn’t. “Is that why you asked me out here?”

Steve held out a gift bag in way of an answer. Eddie stared at it, but he made no move to take it.

“It’s a Christmas present,” he explained, voice vulnerable and cracking. “Please?”

Eddie never could say no when Steve asked so sweetly.

The bag was silver with fragments of blue glitter coating it. He wanted to hold it to his chest in a way in which he knew he wouldn’t get to with Steve. He wondered if it carried his scent, but he couldn’t exactly sniff a paper gift bag in front of the guy.

“Thanks,” he said, because what else could he say?

“Could you –” Steve looked nervous. He glanced off to his left and shuffled his feet. He looked back at Eddie in earnest when he said, “Would you open it now?”

Eddie didn’t respond, but he pried open the bag from where it had been taped together and peeled away the silver tissue paper covering the contents. It was rectangular, made up of wood and glass and oh –

Eddie pulled out the picture frame and he thought that his heart might burst. The frame itself was white, covered in crude doodles. Smiley faces and hearts and something that looked sort of like a Warlock, coloured in red and black just like the guitar of Eddie’s dreams.

Inside the frame, the beautiful and thoughtful and lovely frame, was a picture. A selfie that they’d taken in the snow. They both wore matching smiles. They were bright. Gleaming. Eddie’s traitorous mind told him that they looked in love. 

“It was one of my favourite days ever,” Steve explained. “I wanted to give you something thoughtful. I’d been planning it since we took the picture. I still wanted you to have it.”

Eddie’s hands shook. He couldn’t speak yet. He looked up at Steve with tears in his eyes.

“I wanted to kiss you,” Steve explained. “More than anything, actually. But these feelings, they’re new for me. I got scared. And Tommy was going to find us there and I didn’t want him to do something stupid.”

Eddie put the frame back in the bag before it fell from his quivering hands and broke. He wanted to keep it safe, always.

“I messed up that night, but it wasn’t when I kissed you,” Steve took a step forward and ducked his head so that Eddie had to meet his eye. “It was when I ran away.”

Eddie took a step forward too and he watched Steve’s face soften. It was an olive branch, a sign of his forgiveness.

“I really want to kiss you right now,” Eddie admitted in a whisper.

Steve looked around. Eddie regretted his words until Steve met his eyes again and said “Okay.”

It was Steve who stepped forward and closed the gap, Steve who framed Eddie’s face with his hands. Steve pressed his lips to Eddie’s like he had been dying without it. Maybe he had.

*

Eddie floated all of the way home. Wayne made comments about how much Eddie spaced out, a drunken smile on his lips, but he seemed happy that Eddie wasn’t moping around anymore. 

He floated until he got a message that made him crash.

Gareth🏴‍☠️: Need to talk to you.

Chapter Text

*

🏉

*

“While we’re at school, do you mind if we –” Steve cringed at the memory. “Kept this a secret?”

Eddie had readily agreed, and Steve thought it was something to do with him being the sweetest and most accepting person he’d ever met. He didn’t like asking Eddie to keep this a secret. To keep part of himself a secret, to hide what they were starting to build together.

But Steve had only just started to understand who he was. How could he let everyone else know when he struggled to say the word bisexual for himself?

It almost felt like he was living two different lives. 

There was Steve Harrington, Rugby King and popular kid, the only person he knew with a lock on his door and access to a credit card that his parents paid off without a second thought. Steve Harrington, who had everything he could ever want in the world, but who felt like there was something missing.

Then there was Eddie’s Steve. It was the better half of Steve; the Steve who was soft and treasured, the Steve who spent hours on a craft project with the hope that it would make Eddie smile, the Steve who was allowed to be just Steve. There were no expectations for how he should act or look. No expectations for who he should love.

Instinctively, Steve pulled Eddie closer into his side. If he was going to live his double life, he was going to enjoy the easy parts of it whenever he could.

One of the perks of his parents spending most of their time away from the house meant that he could cuddle Eddie on his living room sofa as much as he wanted to. He could enjoy their time together without a care in the world. 

Until his mind sabotaged him.

“Hey, Eddie?” Steve whispered, unsure if his voice would even be heard over the movie that they were watching.

“Yeah, Stevie?” Eddie tilted his head up to him, looking at him with the most understanding eyes Steve had ever been met with. He could melt in Eddie’s eyes; he wanted to break himself down into atoms, so that he could live in Eddie’s irises forever.

“Robin told me to, um –” Steve shifted uncomfortably, and Eddie paused the movie with a frown so that he could turn his attention wholly to Steve. It felt a lot like love. Steve flushed under the attention. “He told me to read about bisexuality.”

“He did?” Eddie asked gently, giving Steve the space he needed to be comfortable enough to share.

“Yeah. I think –” Steve took a steadying breath. “I think that might be me.”

Eddie beamed at him, “Baby, that’s so great!”

Steve’s reply was meek and not like him at all, “It is?”

“Of course it is,” Eddie assured him, nuzzling into his side. “I’m proud of you.”

Steve brushed his fingers through Eddie’s hair, where it hung loose around his shoulders. It was freshly washed, Steve thought, judging by the way it slipped through his fingers like silk. He thought that he could spend forever in Eddie’s arms, running his fingers through his hair. He didn’t ever want to burst that bubble, but there was the niggling thought in the back of his mind, the voice of all of his anxiety.

“Is that okay?” Steve asked, cringing at the way his voice cracked, revealing the desperation behind his question.

Eddie’s brow furrowed, his eyes searching Steve’s face for some kind of clue, “Is what okay?”

“Me being bisexual,” Steve shrunk into himself.

“Why wouldn’t it be?” Eddie pulled away from Steve and it fed into the anxieties that had been swirling in his mind since he’d done the research Robin had suggested. But then Eddie reached for Steve’s face, cupping his cheeks with a gentle protectiveness that made Steve’s heart soar. “Baby, why wouldn’t it be okay?”

Steve wanted to keep quiet; voicing the thoughts aloud would make them so much more real, would make it so much more likely that he was going to lose Eddie, when he’d only just gotten him. He tried to shuffle backwards, but Eddie kept ahold of his cheeks, staring into his eyes with utter devotion.

“Talk to me, Stevie,” Eddie pleaded and, really, Steve was weak for the way Eddie looked at him.

“I read some things,” Steve started, his voice tapering off as his confidence levels dropped once more.

“What things, sweetheart?” Eddie urged him, stroking his cheeks reverently.

“Some people were saying that –” Steve inhaled, exhaled, reminded himself that Eddie was still here and Eddie was so kind , so loving. “That bisexual people are greedy, or that they need to pick a side, or that they’re more likely to cheat, or –”

Eddie noticed Steve’s incoming spiral and started to shush him, soothing noises which reminded Steve of the ocean.

“Hey, hey, look at me,” Eddie didn’t let go of Steve, he stroked his face and didn’t look away from Steve for even a millisecond. “Those people are full of shit.”

Steve didn’t reply, but he did bring his gaze back up to meet Eddie’s, his heart hammering in his chest.

“Every time I think we’ve left the biphobia behind, someone brings it back again,” Eddie grumbled under his breath, just loud enough for Steve to hear. “Steve, have you spoken to any bi people in real life? Is this all just what you saw online?”

“It was all online,” Steve admitted quietly.

“Do you know any bi people, Stevie?”

Steve shook his head, recalling the previous conversation he’d had with his ex; it did not go well. “I thought Nancy might be… I spoke to her, though. She looked annoyed at me when I asked if she thought she liked boys too. I think I asked her the wrong thing.”

“Okay,” Eddie’s hands travelled to Steve’s hair, continuing to stroke and shush and comfort him. “Okay, we’re going to find you some bi friends.”

“Okay,” Steve agreed, like it was the easiest thing in the world. And maybe it was. Maybe it made him feel lighter, as if he understood himself more, as if he knew that Eddie understood him now too.

He nuzzled into Eddie, lying his head on his shoulder and allowing Eddie’s arm to slip around him. Wordlessly, Eddie drew patterns on his back and started the movie again.

*

🎸

*

Gareth hadn’t stopped messaging. Eddie had tried to ignore the messages, to only focus on the brighter updates that were posted in the groupchat, but Gareth kept insisting that they needed to talk. 

Eddie knew that “I need to talk to you” never meant anything good.

So he did what he did best. 

He avoided it until he couldn’t avoid it any more. 

He avoided it until Gareth cornered him in the practice room at the Youth Centre Eddie used when the school was closed. It was smaller and it wasn’t soundproofed, but the workers let him practise as much as he wanted, just glad that someone was getting some use out of the abandoned centre. He was sure that they were constantly fighting against the council, who wanted to shut it down.

“Thought I’d find you here,” Gareth griped, closing the door behind him.

“Hey, Gare-bear,” Eddie replied sunnily, still leaning heavily on his avoidance tactics. “How’ve you been?”

“You’re avoiding me,” Gareth deadpanned, arms folded across his chest in a way that made him look like a father confronting his petulant child.

Eddie scoffed and forced a laugh, “What? No. Avoiding you? Never.”

Gareth raised his eyebrow, “Then you won’t mind if we talk now.”

And Eddie really had walked right into that one, hadn’t he?

He gestured for Gareth to take a seat on top of another stool that stood in the corner of the room. Gareth took hold of it, dragging it closer to Eddie, which only worried him more.

“Okay, who died?” Eddie joked, but his voice shook, giving away the pure fear that was creeping into his every fibre.

“Eddie,” Gareth warned.

“Fine. Get it over with.”

Gareth pursed his lips, looking as though he was still debating whether or not to allow the words past them. Evidently, he must have decided that shattering Eddie’s heart was more important than anything else, finally muttering “Steve went on a date.”

Eddie’s heart stopped. He thought back to the night they’d spent together previously, to how terrified Steve had been at the mere idea that bisexuality was linked to cheating – Steve wouldn’t do that to Eddie, would he?

But then, he and Steve hadn’t said that they were exclusive. They hadn’t talked about it at all. Eddie wanted Steve to be his boyfriend, but maybe Steve saw their relationship as something else. Perhaps Steve wanted to keep his options open; Eddie did always have the habit of falling first, falling harder, then crashing and burning. 

“Are –” Eddie cleared his throat in an attempt to stop the tears from falling. “Are you sure?”

Gareth nodded, stoic. 

“Right,” Eddie whispered, not trusting his voice at a higher decibel, not trusting that he could keep it level and steady. “With who?”

“Joey Saunders,” Gareth replied and Eddie had to hand it to him, at least he had the decency to look ashamed of bringing the information to Eddie’s attention.

“And you know this how?”

“I was at the milkshake bar in town, you know, the new one? Sprinkles and Sundaes or something dumb like that –”

“Gareth,” Eddie ground out, feeling an anger bubbling up inside that never usually saw the light of day. Eddie’s anger issues had dissipated once he’d moved in with Wayne. He wasn’t going back to that. He refused.

“Right, right, sorry,” Gareth cringed. “Chrissy told me to get to the point too. I guess I ramble when I’m nervous and – and you’re my best friend, Eddie, I just –”

“Gareth,” Eddie gritted his teeth and tried to ignore the way his fingers started to tense and clench on his thighs.

“He gave Joey Saunders his milkshake,” Gareth rushed out in a single breath. “Then Joey asked him on a date and he said yes.”

Eddie stayed silent for a moment, letting the information process. It made no sense to him. If Steve had asked Eddie to keep their relationship a secret, then why would he accept a date from another guy in public? Eddie didn’t think he’d like knowing that Steve had told someone that he was straight, but he was nearly sure that he would’ve preferred that to hearing that the guy he was head over heels in love with had accepted a date from someone else.

And a punk at that.

“When was this date supposed to be?” Eddie asked, carefully, measured.

“Saturday.”

“You’re sure?”

“Yeah,” Gareth nodded gingerly. “Joey suggested Saturday and Steve said sure.”

Eddie thought back to Saturday, to their movie night and their talk about bisexuality that had left Eddie feeling closer to Steve than ever, like he really understood him. 

“He was with me on Saturday,” Eddie murmured. He didn’t say any more. He couldn’t say any more without telling Gareth that they were together, that they were doing more than just hanging out as friends. 

“All day?” Gareth asked, flinching when he saw Eddie’s murderous glare. “I’m sorry, Eddie. I know you liked him. And it’s nice knowing that he’s open to guys, I’m sure, but he went on a date with Joey.”

Gareth left then, sensing that Eddie needed the time alone. He was right.

*

Eddie agonised over how to ask Steve about the whole encounter. He needed to ask, right? He knew that Gareth wouldn’t lie to him, but surely there had been some form of misunderstanding? Something that Gareth had gotten wrong?

But then he thought about Joey. 

Sure, he wasn’t really Eddie’s type, but he was an attractive guy, objectively. He could see why Steve would be interested. And there would have been time for him to see Joey after their movie if he really wanted to. He scoured Steve’s Instagram for any hint of Joey, but found nothing more than a few comments that Joey had left on Steve’s posts. They’d gone ignored. Steve didn’t even follow Joey back. 

“Can we keep this a secret?” Steve had said. What was more secret than not even following each other on Instagram? 

Eddie dropped his phone onto his bed and pressed the palms of his hands into his eyes. 

Steve liked him. That’s what he said. Actions were louder than words, but then, Steve showed him how he felt, too. He’d given Eddie a homemade Christmas present. He was so excited for Eddie to have it that he’d made him open it early, so that now it sat on his bedside table, even though there were still a couple of days to go before Christmas. 

His mind jumped from one conclusion to the other rapidly until his phone shattered the spiral. 

Stevie💛: Thinking about you 🥰

And Eddie couldn’t help it. He was too far into the spiral. He had tried to push down the anger. But now? 

Now it bubbled to the surface. 

Eddie🖤: me or joey?

Steve💛: What? 

Steve💛: You, of course. Where did that come from?

Eddie🖤: heard about your little date. 

Steve💛: You mean the date I felt pressured into and didn’t even go on?

Steve💛: Eddie, I was with you instead. 

Eddie🖤: it’s not that hard to say no to a date you don’t want. 

Steve💛: I was going to tell him. 

Steve💛: And then his dog died! 

Steve💛: I cancelled on him on Friday. I didn’t go. I didn’t want to go. 

He almost got him there. It was almost enough to soften Eddie’s resolve. 

Almost. 

The fire within Eddie still burned, scratching at the inside of his chest cavity and clawing its way out. 

Eddie🖤: you would’ve had to say yes to the date in order to cancel it. 

Eddie🖤: can’t let anyone know that you’ve kissed eddie the freak, but you can say yes to a date with joey in public

Eddie🖤: and in front of my best friend

Steve💛: Eds, please don’t do this. 

Steve💛: Can I come over? I can explain it all. 

Eddie🖤: don’t bother. 

Eddie turned off his phone. 

*

🎀

*

“I can see the wheels in your head turning, sweetheart,” Gareth cooed. “He’s going to be okay.”

Chrissy rolled her eyes at that. She loved Gareth, but honestly, sometimes he was too relaxed. He needed just an inch of worry within him. 

“He hasn’t responded to anyone in days, Gareth,” she sighed, relaxing further into her boyfriend’s side. “I don’t think we should have told him.”

It was nice, referring to them as a unit. Even though Gareth had been the one to approach Eddie, even though Gareth had been the one to overhear Joey and, actually, Chrissy had very little to do with the whole thing. And even though Gareth swore that Eddie would be okay, she could sense the guilt radiating from him. If she could take just a part of that from him, she would. 

“We had to, Chris,” he sighed. “He would’ve been hurt worse.”

“What if we were wrong?”

“I know what I heard.”

“Steve said that –”

“You spoke to him?” Gareth looked at Chrissy as though she was a traitor. It stung. 

Chrissy chewed on her lower lip, contemplating her answer. “A little.”

“What does that mean?” Gareth scoffed. It made Chrissy’s stomach churn. She knew that they weren’t fighting, they never fought, but to hear the scorn in Gareth’s voice? 

She shuffled away from it, gaze averted. 

“Chrissy?” Gareth’s voice was much softer when he finally broke the silence. “Chris, I’m sorry.”

“Nothing to be sorry for,” she whispered. 

“There is,” Gareth gently snaked an arm around her and planted a sweet kiss on her shoulder. “What did Steve say?”

“That he didn’t know how to say no and it got out of hand,” Chrissy mumbled, once again leaning into Gareth’s touch. “He seemed so sincere, Gare, I think I believe him.”

Gareth hummed as he contemplated that, a resigned sigh escaping his lips, “If you believe him, then I suppose I can hear him out. For you.”

*

Gareth insisted on making it up to Chrissy after that. It was one thing that had completely swept her off of her feet, his willingness to treat her like an absolute princess. He’d left her house with a knowing smile, telling her to wear something pretty and be ready in an hour. She asked for two if he wanted her to look pretty. 

“You always look pretty,” he’d chided her softly, brushing a strand of strawberry blonde hair away from her face. 

“Yeah whatever,” Chrissy giggled, pushing him away. “Two hours. Go.”

*

Her boyfriend showed up right on time, as he always did. Gareth was at her door exactly two hours later with a small bunch of flowers, a blanket tucked under his arm and a picnic basket in hand. He wore a dark button-down that looked like it had been borrowed from Eddie, since Chrissy hadn’t seen Gareth wear it before, paired with a glowing smile.

Chrissy let out a squeal and snatched the flowers out of his grasp, “Oh Gareth, they’re beautiful!”

“They reminded me of you,” he replied bashfully, ducking his chin. 

Chrissy tucked a delicate finger under his chin to pull his gaze back to hers and plant a tender kiss on his lips.

“I love them,” she whispered into the space between them. Gareth flushed and stammered like she was saying that she loved him, and maybe she was, in some small way. She rushed off to place the flowers in some water before returning to find Gareth still standing in the doorway, still pink and shell shocked.

“Where are you taking me?” she asked playfully, rocking back and forth on the balls of her feet.

“Uh –” Gareth shook his head gently. “It’s lame, but um, the park?”

“What makes you say that’s lame?”

“You know, it’s not some fancy date. And you deserve a fancy date. But it’s just a picnic in the park,” Gareth shrugged and held out the picnic basket. “I packed some of your favourite snacks though.”

Chrissy’s smile only grew, “Baby, I don’t need something fancy and expensive. This is perfect.”

Gareth seemed to be rendered speechless by the pet name so, with a giggle, Chrissy stepped out of her house and closed the door behind her. 

Chrissy took the basket from her boyfriend, leaving Gareth with the picnic blanket and one free hand; she took the opportunity to intertwine their free hands together. They fit together perfectly, Chrissy and Gareth, their hands locking together as though they were sculpted as a pair and pried apart before their lives began. She knew how lucky she was, to find a boyfriend who loved her, who would call her his girlfriend, who would accept her for who she was, no matter who she used to be. Chrissy gripped Gareth’s hand tighter.

“Are you okay?” Gareth turned to her with a concerned look in his eye.

“Just thinking,” she mused.

“About?”

“I’m lucky to have you.”

Gareth flushed again. Every time his cheeks turned pink, Chrissy wanted to cover them in kisses and feel the heat radiating from them. “I’m the lucky one, Chris,” he replied eventually, looking at her with a reverence she’d never experienced before.

The thing is, Chrissy liked to read. She spent a lot of time with her head in a book, especially when she was at Hawkins High and she was actively trying to slip under everyone’s radar, to become invisible. And she liked to read about love. She’d read endless amounts of romance books where the girl ends up with the guy, where there’s a grand gesture and a happy ending. She thought she’d never get that; she’d thought that the people around her would only ever see her as her former self, as someone who she never truly was. 

But when Gareth looked at her, she knew that wasn’t true. She knew that Gareth truly saw her, and she saw him.

She looked at Gareth and she saw someone who was filled to the brim with kindness and love for his friends. She saw someone who would go to the ends of the Earth for her and Eddie. She looked at Gareth and she found a home, somewhere where she wanted to stay forever.

“I love you,” she said. And the words had just tumbled out as she looked into his eyes, but she meant them wholeheartedly.

Gareth stopped. He froze in the middle of the sidewalk, staring at Chrissy in wide-eyed wonder.

“Did you just say –” he sounded breathless. “Am I dreaming?”

“I don’t think you’re dreaming,” Chrissy giggled to hide her nerves. “I said it.”

Gareth surged forward to wrap his arms around Chrissy. The picnic blanket was forgotten on the floor; he joined their bodies together, fit them together like a puzzle, proving that they’re two halves of one whole.

“I love you too,” he whispered into her ear, only for Chrissy to hear.

*

They didn’t get to enjoy their bliss for long. Robin bounded towards their spot in the park with a jittery, restless energy, Nancy following close behind.

“Chrissy!” they knocked Chrissy over with a wild embrace, before noticing Gareth’s presence. “Who’s this?”

“Oh, um,” Chrissy smiled in the lovestruck way she usually did when she thought about Gareth. “I told you guys about my boyfriend. Gareth, this is Robin and their girlfriend Nancy.”

“It’s nice to meet you,” Gareth greeted them with a nervous smile.

“Are you friends with Eddie too?” Robin questioned, an intense look in his eye.

“Robin,” Chrissy warned, knowing them way too well to ignore the glimmer, the spark that flamed as the cogs in his mind turned. “What are you planning?”

Gareth eyed Robin warily, “He’s my best friend.”

Robin nodded, “So you’ve heard about the whole misunderstanding with Steve?”

Gareth stiffened, “Didn’t seem like there was much to misunderstand.”

Chrissy watched as Robin got their hackles up too. She doubted that this would end well. She needed to stop it, but she didn’t know how.

“I was literally there when Joey asked him out,” Robin bit back. “He didn’t want to say yes, he just has a lot of anxiety that people don’t see. I know Steve better than anyone. He doesn’t know how to say no, especially in front of a crowd.”

Gareth frowned, but he didn’t argue.

“Eddie’s quite upset about the whole thing,” Chrissy jumped in. She saw an opportunity to fix this, especially with Robin’s connection to Steve. 

“So’s Steve,” Robin’s voice was quieter now, filled with unwavering concern for his friend. “I’ve never seen him like this.”

Nancy laid a hand on her girlfriend’s shoulder, giving it a gentle squeeze. “It’s a good thing we ran into you, do you think we could get them together? If we got Eddie to hear Steve out, surely he would understand.”

Robin smiled at her gently and placed their hand on top of Nancy’s.

It was Gareth who broke the thoughtful silence that had settled around them.

“I just want Eddie to be happy.”

*

🎸

*

Gareth had a habit of dragging Eddie out of bed when all he wanted to do was isolate himself. He hated to admit that it made him feel better, so he would grumble and groan every time Gareth ripped away his duvet and pulled at his arm until he rolled onto the floor. 

“Leave me here to die,” Eddie groaned from his pile on the carpet.

“Not happening. Get dressed.”

“Why?” he moaned, reminiscent of a toddler who’s just learned the word and is questioning everything around them.

“Fucking hell, Munson, you’re hard work,” Gareth grumbled, landing a soft kick on Eddie’s thigh. “Get up. Get dressed. We’re going out.”

“But why?”

“Because I’m sick of your shit,” Gareth kicked at him again, aiming this time for the spot on the side of his stomach that was ticklish. Eddie squirmed and rolled away. “Up!”

*

Gareth all but dragged Eddie to the park. He’d thrown clothes at Eddie and turned around so that he could get dressed, but refused to leave Eddie’s room or relinquish his hold on the duvet, knowing that Eddie would take any excuse to crawl back into bed and mope. Eddie hated how much his best friend knew him sometimes. 

“It’s too cold to be at the park,” Eddie groaned, crossing his arms over his chest as they approached the entrance.

“Bullshit,” Gareth countered. “I was just here on a date with Chrissy yesterday. Stop whining.”

Eddie was about to complain again, but a group of people approaching him caught his eye. 

Steve, with his perfect hair and his stupid, pretty face, was walking towards him, flanked by Robin and Nancy. It felt surprisingly like an ambush.

“You asshole!” Eddie hissed at Gareth.

“I’m on your side, Ed,” Gareth sighed. “I’m still not sure I like the guy. But I think you should hear him out.”

Eddie turned his back to Steve, started to walk away; he couldn’t do this. He was going back to his bed. 

Gareth yanked him back by the hood of his coat, nearly choking him.

“Shit!” Eddie wheezed. “What the fuck?”

“You’re listening to him,” Gareth told him again, leaving no room for discussion.

Eddie cursed Gareth out some more under his breath, but he turned around in time to see Steve taking the final step towards him, hands shoved into his pockets and shoulders tense.

“Hi,” Steve breathed, the furrow in his brow betraying his anxiety.

It tugged on Eddie’s heartstrings and he hated how Steve still had him wrapped around his little finger. He hated how he yearned to throw himself into Steve’s arms, despite the fact that Steve ran away, despite the fact that Steve accepted a date with someone else.

Eddie still wanted him.

“Hi,” Eddie gave him a single nod and mirrored his posture. He thought he heard Gareth mumble “Jesus Christ,” and something involving the word “pathetic”. He ignored it.

“This wasn’t my idea,” Steve chewed at his lip. Eddie couldn’t tear his eyes away. “I didn’t want to ambush you.”

“And yet,” Eddie scoffed.

“Hear me out,” Steve’s voice was soft, pleading. “Please?”

Eddie nodded, powerless against Steve once he said please, powerless once Steve looked at him with giant, round eyes. 

“I’m a people pleaser,” Steve began, which wasn’t the best start. Eddie rolled his eyes. “I find it hard to say no to people when I feel pressured, especially when there’s a crowd. I actually only started playing rugby because Tommy told me that I should. I ended up enjoying rugby, which is besides the point, but –”

Steve ran a hand through his hair and looked towards Robin in a panic; they nodded, encouraging. Eddie almost thought it was sweet.

“I didn’t want to say yes to Joey. I don’t – I’m not attracted to him at all. I don’t have any kind of feelings for him beyond mild annoyance, really,” Steve took another step towards Eddie and lowered his voice. “I do have feelings for you. I like you a lot, Eddie. I’m sorry if I haven’t shown you that enough, but I will. I’ll show you every day. I don’t want this to end.”

“I like you a lot, too,” Eddie whispered, the admission feeling both relieving and heartbreaking at the same time. He stepped into Steve’s orbit, letting himself be consumed wholly. Steve looked like he wanted to reach out, but he stayed planted to his spot, restrained.

“I told Joey that I don’t want to date him. Robin helped me to figure out how to say it in the most unambiguous way,” he glanced back at his friend, who gave him a thumbs up and a cheesy grin. “I don’t want to date him. I never will. I want to date you, if you’ll still have me.”

Eddie felt his cheeks begin to burn. He ducked his head, letting his forehead rest on Steve’s chest. 

“Yeah, okay,” he murmured. “I missed you, I guess.”

“I missed you too,” Steve admitted, stroking his back like he never intended to let him go again.

Chapter Text

*

🏉

*

Steve had no intention of letting Eddie go. Whenever he was able to, he kept a hand on Eddie: in his hair, in his hand, buried in his pocket. He wanted to show Eddie explicitly that Steve was his, that his heart could never belong to anyone else. They hadn’t said it in words, but Steve knew that Eddie was his boyfriend, and he didn’t plan on that ever changing.

They spent a lot of time around Robin, Nancy, Chrissy and Gareth. It was nice, it really felt like they had their own corner of the world, that anything was possible and there would be no judgement for who they loved. It made his heart ache that it couldn’t be like that all of the time.

“Do you want to come to the cinema with me?” Steve asked, out of the blue. Eddie turned to him with a smile on his face. He hated that he had to shatter that. “My friends will be there. The guys from the rugby team. But not Tommy. He said he was busy and he didn’t want to see the movie anyway.”

“Oh,” the colour drained from Eddie’s face. Steve wanted to kiss it back, but he held off, not wanting to push Eddie too far.

“You can say no,” he offered, chewing on his lip and gently stroking Eddie’s sides.

Eddie shook his head, “No, it’s okay. If Tommy won’t be there.”

“Are you sure?”

“Of course I’m sure,” Eddie said with a small, sweet smile. “I’d have to be crazy to turn down a date with Steve Harrington.”

Steve laughed then, loud and bright, filling the room with warmth.

*

🎸

*

“Are you sure I look okay?” Eddie asked again, running his hands over his band t-shirt in an attempt to smooth out the creases. Maybe he should’ve ironed it. It was too late now, they were already at the shopping centre and heading towards the cinema with every step.

“You look perfect,” Steve smiled at him. “Like you always do.”

“Your friends are going to think I’m a gay nerd,” Eddie grumbled, looking down at his feet as he shuffled them around on the floor, kicking at nothing. 

“Well,” Steve chuckled, his smile turning into something mischievous. “You sort of are a gay nerd.” 

Eddie couldn’t really argue with that, could he? He was a gay nerd, and Steve Harrington wanted him anyway. Despite it, or because of it, he was elated either way.

“And Tommy won’t be there?” Eddie asked again, he’d lost count of how many times he’d asked now. His nerves only climbed now that the cinema was in view. 

“He –” Steve started to say, but then a figure stepped to the forefront of the group of people standing outside of the cinema. It made Eddie’s heart lurch in his chest; he felt like he was about to vomit. Tommy stood in front of the crowd, a smarmy smirk spread across his face.

“Well, well,” he scoffed, arms folded across his chest. “It’s Steve and his little friend.”

“Hi Tommy,” Steve ground out. “Thought you weren’t coming.”

“So that’s why you brought along the freak?” Tommy cocked an eyebrow.

Steve stepped in front of Eddie slightly, Eddie was glad, because there was no way he could move. He was frozen in place. “Eddie’s on the rugby team too. He’s our friend.”

“Maybe he’s your friend,” Tommy rolled his eyes.

“Whatever, man,” Steve waved him off. “I want popcorn.”

Steve stalked away, pulling Eddie behind him by the wrist. When they were safely at the counter and Steve had ordered for them both, he turned to Eddie.

“Are you okay?” he whispered, concern written across his face.

“Yeah,” Eddie sighed, but he didn’t think it sounded too convincing.

“I didn’t know he would be here,” Steve frowned. “I swear.”

“I know,” Eddie bit his lip. “Do you think I should…?”

“No,” Steve stopped him, moving his hand to Eddie’s bicep. “Don’t leave. I want you here. Screw Tommy.”

Eddie nodded, “Okay.”

Steve led Eddie to their seats, thankfully at the end of the row, away from Tommy. He almost forgot that Tommy was there, especially when Steve reached across and took Eddie’s hand in his. Steve’s hands were bigger than his own, and the way that they enveloped his made Eddie feel safe. 

It was easy to forget about Tommy when they were sitting away from him, but outside of the cinema was another story altogether.

“You coming to my party? My sweet sixteen. Gonna be a pretty big one.” Tommy asked, approaching Steve and ignoring Eddie’s presence completely.

“Uh,” Steve looked between his friends for a moment. Eddie stood behind him, watching him carefully. “Yeah, sure, I’m coming.”

Tommy looked beyond Steve and locked eyes on Eddie, shaking like a kitten behind Steve. “Are you bringing the gay freak?”

“He’s my friend, Tommy,” Steve growled, clenching his fists. Eddie just wanted to run. “So yes. If he wants to come, he’ll come with me.”

Tommy chuckled. It wasn’t like Steve’s chuckle, full of love and light and warmth, it was dark and menacing. “You’re falling so fast,” Tommy shook his head. 

Eddie couldn’t do this any more. He had to leave. He turned quickly, stalking away from the group. He didn’t focus on where he was heading, as long as he was heading away from Tommy. He didn’t hear Steve’s reply, but he did feel a gentle hand on his back as Steve caught up to him.

“I’m so sorry, Eds,” Steve grimaced.

“It’s fine. I know he doesn’t like me,” Eddie shrugged.

“He’s an asshole,” Steve said, grasping Eddie’s t-shirt a little more tightly. “He wouldn’t deserve to be your friend, even if you wanted him to be.”

Eddie sighed, shoulders falling. In a small voice, he asked, “Can we just get out of here?”

“Yeah,” Steve nodded, guiding Eddie to the door. “Of course, Eds. Anywhere, as long as I’m with you.”

*

🏉

*

Steve spent the next few days before Tommy’s party absolutely seething. He wanted to tell Tommy off, at the very least, but he couldn’t bring himself to make things worse for Eddie. He’d suggested the idea already, and Eddie had assured him that he didn’t need Steve to lose friends over him. Steve wasn’t even sure he wanted those friends anymore.

He spent a lot of time thinking about how free he felt around Eddie’s friends, especially now that Gareth knew that they were dating. They were able to be open around them, cuddling and leaning into each other and even giving each other gentle kisses. Robin audibly gagged each time, but Steve knew their charm well, and he knew that they were happy for him, just as he was happy for them and their relationship with Nancy.

Every day that ticked over, he dreaded January 11th approaching, dreaded the Saturday that would bring Tommy’s party.

Eddie seemed excited to go, though. He assured Steve that he was okay with it and Steve tried to believe him.

“You know,” Steve said at their movie night, only one day before the party. “Tommy’s house is so big, I think we could avoid him all night if we wanted to.”

“That would be good,” Eddie nodded. “I’m okay as long as I’m with you.”

Steve nodded and pulled him closer. 

*

“It’s loud,” Eddie commented as they made their way into the party. They walked together, making their way through the party with a beer in hand each.

“Yeah,” Steve nodded. “Tommy knows that we’d all see through his bullshit if we could actually hear him.”

Eddie snorted at that, a loud chuckle that Steve felt in his body as Eddie shook next to him. “Yeah, I think you’re right.”

“I always am,” Steve said with a winning smile. Eddie rolled his eyes fondly.

*

🎸

*

They had barely gotten drinks before they ended up eyeing each other hungrily. Eddie wanted to kiss Steve senseless, his cheeks were flushed pink with the heat of the party, he was smiling at every person he greeted, but not as brightly as he gleamed at Eddie. Steve’s hair was flopping slightly in front of his face, and Eddie barely resisted the urge to push it back out of his eyes. Those beautiful hazel eyes…

“I wish I could kiss you right now,” Eddie admitted in a hushed tone, leaning into Steve so that he was the only one who could hear his words.

Steve bit his lip to hide his smile, which made Eddie want to get his lips on him even more. Steve grasped Eddie’s wrist tightly and tugged him away from the party, up some stairs and into an abandoned room. It was down a hallway, hidden away from the main rooms of the house. 

“Now you can,” Steve smirked as he closed the door behind them. Eddie heard the distinct click of a lock behind him; he didn’t look, didn’t take his eyes off of Steve as he bracketed Eddie with his arms, pinning him against the door. 

“What if someone –”

Steve hushed him with a kiss on the cheek. “No one will. This is the guest bedroom I would always stay in when I would stay here. It doesn’t get used, and I’m certain none of Tommy’s other friends know of its existence.”

Eddie relaxed into Steve’s touch slightly at that. The promise of a kiss was too tempting to turn down, and besides, the door was locked…

Eddie wrapped his arms hastily around Steve’s neck and drew their lips together. It melted all of Eddie’s anxieties away instantly, the only thing that he could think about being the press of Steve’s lips against his own. He’d always assumed that kissing a man would be all rough edges and chapped lips, but kissing Steve was nothing but soft. He wondered if Steve used chapstick or lip gloss in the same way that girls did, whether his friendship with Robin had introduced him to that. 

Maybe things would change as they grew older, when they had to deal with shaving and stubble in a way that they didn’t need to worry about yet, at fifteen and sixteen. But for now, Eddie kissed along Steve’s smooth jawline with a reverence that amounted to love. 

“Eds,” Steve breathed, almost a whine. 

Eddie hummed as he trailed his lips lower, kissing along Steve’s neck. Steve’s whines and moans grew louder, though not nearly loud enough to breach the loud booming of the party music below. He didn’t think about getting caught, all he could think about was the taste of Steve, the smell of Steve, just – Steve.

Eddie’s kisses grew more urgent with Steve’s noises. They’d gotten carried away before, sure. Neither of them were ready for what could be considered more, they’d discussed it plenty of times, but that didn’t mean that everything had remained chaste. Eddie’s kisses turned into nips and bites and sucking at Steve’s neck, right where two beauty marks laid like a little vampire bite on his neck. 

He didn’t think about the consequence of what he was doing, couldn’t think about it, he could only think of Steve and the absolute heat that was pooling in his gut. 

With one last bite to his love’s neck, Eddie pulled away to kiss Steve’s lips once more. 

“Holy shit,” Steve breathed into the space between them. Eddie hummed in response. “Did you – did you leave a mark?”

And, fuck, that hadn’t really occurred to Eddie until then. He knew that his actions could leave a mark, of course, but he hadn’t thought of the consequences of leaving this room while Steve had a very visible love bite on his neck.

Eddie’s eyes flicked down to his favourite spot on Steve’s neck, locking onto the purpling skin immediately.

“Shit,” he whispered into the air of the room, which suddenly felt cold. “I did.”

Eddie was ready to walk out of that room single once more. He knew that Steve wasn’t ready for those questions, he knew that he had been irresponsible. He couldn’t blame Steve really, if he broke up with him to preserve his secret. His identity was his secret to share once he felt ready, and Eddie wasn’t a good boyfriend to force him to dodge those questions all night. Someone was bound to notice Steve’s neck and then –

Eddie was panicking. His breaths were laboured and his eyes stung with the threat of tears.

And Steve –

Steve was laughing. 

Eddie frowned at him, attempting to get a hold on his uneven breaths, “Steve, what?”

“Sorry,” Steve said through the laughter. “I can just imagine Tommy’s face when he sees this. Not that he’s going to.”

“And if he does? Or if someone else does?”

“Then I figure something out,” Steve shrugged. “I doubt anyone will care, anyway. Everyone hooks up at parties.”

“Oh…”

Steve stroked along Eddie’s cheek and planted a quick kiss on his forehead.

“So you’re not going to break up with me?” Eddie asked tentatively.

“Break up with you?” Steve’s frown was telling: confused rather than angry. “Why would I break up with you for doing something I wanted you to do?”

“But you – we –” Eddie stuttered until Steve quieted him with a kiss on the lips.

“Baby,” he soothed him, “I’m okay.”

“Okay,” Eddie nodded once.

Steve took his hand and pulled Eddie away from the door enough to unlock it, “Now let’s get downstairs before people notice that we’re gone.”

*

🏉

*

“Steve!” Tommy’s voice called across the crowded room. He felt Eddie flinch next to him, and Steve’s heart was in his throat. “Haven’t seen you all night, are you avoiding me?”

“Why would I be doing that?” Steve asked, allowing a small chuckle to escape from his lips, hoping that he sounded convincing enough.

Tommy stayed quiet for a moment, eyeing him carefully, before his eyes stilled on Steve’s neck. Fuck. “Oh I see,” Tommy mused, a smirk playing on his lips. “That’s where you’ve been hiding. I didn’t know that Nancy was here.”

Tommy seemed to look around for her, before Steve cut him off with a quiet, “I haven’t seen her.”

Tommy’s eyes snapped back to him, “Then who –”

Steve was incredibly grateful when Jason called out Tommy’s name, announcing “We’re playing truth or dare!” and gaining Tommy’s attention enough to get it off of Steve.

Steve turned away from them, ready to get him and Eddie as far away from the commotion as possible, before he noticed Eddie’s wistful look.

“Do you want to…” Steve chewed on his lower lip, wishing Eddie’s teeth were sunk into it instead. “Shall we play?”

“I’ve never…” Eddie sighed. “Yeah, I wanna play.”

Steve rushed to assure him, “We don’t have to. Say the word and we’re out of here.”

“I want to,” Eddie nodded. “It sounds fun.”

“Right,” Steve smiled tentatively at him, before they followed the crowd to the living room.

*

There were maybe fifteen of them sitting in a circle. They listened intently while Tommy explained the rules to them, as if they really needed to know the rules to truth or dare. Though, he supposed, they were playing it with a small twist, an empty beer bottle lying in the circle in front of them.

Steve watched as his friends pretended to make orgasm sounds, or shared whether they were still a virgin or not, with a blush creeping over their cheeks, or whether their parents had ever caught them masturbating. When it was Tommy’s turn to spin the bottle, Steve held his breath, not meeting Tommy’s pointed stare from across the circle.

And then the bottle stopped.

On him.

Steve finally looked up, wondering whether Tommy would really be that spiteful. The smarmy grin on his face answered the question before Tommy spoke. 

“So, Steve,” Tommy flashed his teeth when he smiled, predatory and mean. “Truth or dare?”

He toyed with the idea of saying dare, of avoiding the question he knew that Tommy was dying to ask. But, for all he knew, the dare would end up being much worse. At least this way, he could control the narrative, he could…

“Truth,” Steve said with a fake confidence that surprised even himself.

“Who gave you the love bite?”

Steve felt Eddie stiffen next to him. He placed a reassuring hand on Eddie’s knee, giving it a hopeful squeeze. He hoped that Eddie wouldn’t mind his honesty; Eddie was out anyway, so he would only be outing himself. 

“Eddie,” Steve said nonchalantly.

“Eddie Munson?” Tommy scoffed.

“Yeah,” Steve squeezed Eddie’s knee again, feeling freer than he ever had. “He’s my boyfriend. Has been for a while. I’m bisexual.”

Tommy scoffed again, louder this time, “You’re –”

“That’s really cool, man,” a guy that Steve recognised from some of his classes, Jonathan, chimed in. “Thanks for telling us.”

There was a chorus of more people agreeing, and soon the game had ended, people once again talking to their friends animatedly. Some people had surrounded Eddie and Steve, commenting on how cute they were, and Steve held on to Eddie the entire time.

He didn’t see Tommy again until they were leaving, still hand-in-hand.

“Harrington,” Tommy slurred, obviously much more drunk than he had been before. 

“Tommy,” Steve gritted his teeth. “We were just leaving. Great party, man.”

Tommy rolled his eyes indignantly, “You’re really one of them now?”

“What?” Steve asked, as Eddie drew his hand away. The spite in Tommy’s voice caused his heart rate to spike. 

Tommy shook his head and crossed his arms over his chest, “Didn’t know you’d turned gay. That’s gross, man. We were in the same changing room.”

“I’m bisexual,” Steve clenched his fists at his side. “I made that pretty clear. And I was never looking at you.”

“Yeah, right,” Tommy shook his head. “I can’t believe I didn’t see it before.”

“See what?”

“That you’re a pathetic little fa–”

Steve’s fist connected with Tommy’s face before he could finish the word. Tommy punched back, of course, splitting Steve’s lip and coating his tongue with the metallic taste of blood. But Steve didn’t stop until he was being pulled from Tommy, Jonathan’s arms wrapped around his biceps.

“Let me go!” Steve growled.

“He’s not worth it, Steve,” Jonathan soothed him. “Leave him be.”

“But he –”

“No,” Eddie chimed in from behind them. “He’s right, Steve. Let’s go.”

In all of the commotion, Steve had almost forgotten about Eddie. He had stood there as a witness to the whole thing, and now that Steve had locked eyes with him once more, he could see the hurt that flooded his irises. 

He hated that he’d put it there.

“Okay,” Steve nodded, voice barely a whisper. “Let’s go.”

*

🎸

*

Eddie was wiping at Steve’s cut lip gently when he finally got the courage to ask him. They’d gone back to Steve’s house; Steve had let them in, telling Eddie that his parents were away again. Eddie was too preoccupied to even ask where they were this time. 

“Did you mean it?” Eddie whispered, keeping his eyes on Steve’s lip to avoid looking him in the eyes.

“What?” Steve asked, pulling away from him and tipping Eddie’s chin up. He saw then just how hurt Steve was too. There was pain in his eyes that Eddie hadn’t seen since their fight, and it occurred to him that he never wanted to see it there again.

“Did you mean what you said?” Eddie asked again, nervous and breathless. “That I’m your – that we’re boyfriends?”

Steve laughed at that, only just about wincing at the pain his lip must be causing him. “Well, yeah,” he said, shaking his head slightly at Eddie. “We are, aren’t we?”

And Eddie had thought about it, of course he had. He wanted Steve to be his boyfriend more than anything, but he wasn’t about to push him. Eddie had never had a boyfriend before; he didn’t want to risk losing Steve by having the conversation too soon.

“We are,” Eddie smiled brightly, the words lighting him up from the inside out. “We’re boyfriends.”

“Good,” Steve leaned in, almost closing the gap between them. “Now, can I kiss my boyfriend?”

Eddie nodded, before bringing their lips together. He grazed his lips gently across Steve’s, avoiding pressing too hard on his new injury. It wasn’t as urgent or intense as their kiss in the guest room, but there was something utterly beautiful about it. It contained all of their love, and Eddie had a feeling that the love would only continue to grow.

“There’s someone I want you to meet,” Eddie whispered, only pulling far enough away from Steve to be able to form the words between them. He felt Steve’s lips against his own as he spoke.

“Yeah?” Steve asked, his breath hitching.

“How does tomorrow sound?”

*

🏉

*

Steve wiped his clammy hands on his jeans again, pretending to smooth out the non-existent creases in them. Eddie handed over the small box which he had carried from the store, eyeing Steve carefully.

“Are you sure he’ll like it?” Steve asked, eyes fixed on the small parcel. “Don’t adults usually want, like, wine or something?”

“Wayne doesn’t drink,” Eddie shrugged. “He has a whole mug collection. He’ll love it. Trust me.”

“I do,” Steve nodded, waiting for Eddie to open the door to the small caravan.

He’d never given much thought as to why he’d never been to Eddie’s house; they simply always found themselves at Steve’s house, since his parents were always out and the lock on his door was convenient. But now, Steve was starting to realise why that was, and why Eddie was just as nervous as Steve on their walk over here. 

Steve did his best to smile at Eddie, to reassure him that his hesitance was at the prospect of meeting an important parental figure, and not at the sight of his home.

Eddie held onto Steve’s hand and squeezed it tight, so Steve thought that he got the message.

“Uncle Wayne?” Eddie called as he opened the door and crossed the threshold. He had told Steve that his uncle would be home, that he had the weekends off from his night shift and that Sundays were family days. Steve held back his jealousy at the idea of family days.

“Hey kiddo,” a gruff voice called as they entered. “Thought ya weren’t gonna show.”

“Of course I am,” Eddie chuckled, his voice only wavering slightly. “There’s someone I want you to meet.”

The older man turned to meet them with a warm smile. It threw Steve off at first; he was thrown off even more by Eddie holding resolutely onto his hand, unashamed.

“This is the lad you’ve been talking about?” The man, Wayne, asked.

“Steve Harrington, Sir,” Steve let go of Eddie’s hand to hold his hand out to shake Wayne’s. He wished that he didn’t have to let go, but he was holding onto the gift with the other hand. Wayne reached out and shook his hand with an amused smile.

“I, uh – we – got you something,” Steve held out the small box tentatively.

“Now, ya didn’t have to, son,” Wayne took it and unwrapped it carefully, smiling wider when he saw the mug. He held it aloft, examining the Gremlins pattern on it intently. “Eddie picked this one out, did he?”

Steve blushed, and Eddie answered “Guilty” with a smile.

“Well, that’s very nice of you both,” Wayne acknowledged them both with a heartfelt grin, placing the mug on a shelf, surrounded by countless others. Steve smiled when he saw the collection, wondering how Wayne still found space for them. It was a nice touch, it gave the small caravan a warm touch, meant that it looked so undeniably theirs. It was the Munson home, not a show home like Steve’s.

“You’re welcome,” Steve mumbled out, eyeing the various patterns of the cups.

“Ya staying for something to eat?” Wayne asked, looking more at Steve than Eddie.

Eddie grimaced, “Are you cooking?”

Wayne chuckled at that, tousling Eddie’s hair; Steve couldn’t help but realise how different it was to how his parents’ reaction would’ve been, couldn’t help but see the love in the gesture.

“I’ll order something, just name the place,” Wayne relented.

Steve smiled, perfectly happy to be accepted into this little family.