Archive of Our Own ^beta

Sangwoo knows as soon as he wakes up that his annual cold is imminent.

It’s been the bane of his autumn since he was in middle school. Every year, without fail, he gets the most terrible cold. His throat will become so sore he can’t eat; his joints ache something awful until he’s too sensitive even just laying still. He goes through a box of tissues an hour and is an all around mess.

He hates it. It interferes with his school work and makes him feel so rumpled and gross. He always ends up missing at least two full days of classes and it’s infuriating knowing that his immune system can’t just continue with business as usual.

Today is day zero. The first day he feels a little tickle in his throat, can see his very near future– the swollen eyes, the hoarse voice that just makes him cough even more, the sweat-soaked chills.

However.

This year is different. This year, Sangwoo thinks as he turns his head and looks over at Jaeyoung, he has a boyfriend.

The idea is still novel even if they’ve been dating for almost a year. Sangwoo is so happy that he didn’t even think is was possible to feel this much. He sighs a little as he reaches out and runs a gentle hand through Jaeyoung’s hair. As much as it pains him, Sangwoo is well aware that the next week isn’t going to be very fun.

Frowning a little in thought, Sangwoo’s heart clenches at the way Jaeyoung turns towards his hand even further, wanting to be closer even when he’s sleeping.

It’s a little embarrassing and even more unbelievable that Sangwoo has this boy and he loves him to distraction and is loved just as fiercely in return.

As he watches his boyfriend in the early morning light, Sangwoo knows that he needs to pull back a little.

Sangwoo doesn’t want Jaeyoung to catch his cold– he has an important deadline coming up– and, more than that, he doesn’t want to be the reason that Jaeyoung feels as miserable as he knows he will be when he can’t remember what it felt like to be able to breath out of both nostrils and when his chest didn’t ache just from breathing.

Plus, well, he also doesn’t want Jaeyoung to see him like that. Gross and snotty and even more easily irritable than usual.

(Forget that now that they’re together, while Sangwoo can be prickly and exacting, Jaeyoung is rarely treated to the full Sangwoo Effect anymore. Yuna thinks it’s disgusting how soft they are on each other, especially considering how this all started).

Sangwoo sighs again, petulant at himself and his body, as he carefully climbs out of bed. He gets ready quietly, moving through his morning routine without waking Jaeyoung, and leaves for his first class of the day. All throughout his morning, he plans how to go about this.

This being operation avoid Jaeyoungie-hyung.

He starts out fairly strong, or at least he’d like to think so.

Jaeyoung, for his part, starts his own day without suspecting anything. His own alarm goes off minutes after Sangwoo’s left for campus and he reaches out a hand, still heavy with sleep, to Sangwoo’s side of the bed. Feeling the coolness of sheets, he sighs but he knows that their schedules on Tuesday mornings never sync up.

Still, it doesn’t take Jaeyoung long to notice that something is off with his routine-loving boyfriend as the man in question starts coming up with excuses for why he can’t see Jaeyoung.

Oh, he has to meet a professor during lunch. Sorry hyung, I have to get this project done tonight you can’t come over. The first time it happens, Jaeyoung pouts for a second just to be dramatic but goes ahead and meets Yuna and Hyeongtak for lunch without issue. Yuna ends up throwing a few of her chips at him when he can’t help but mention– more than once– that Sangwoo never plans meetings during their lunch hour. Hyeongtak, for his part, just pilfers the chips from Jaeyoung’s plate to his own.

When Sangwoo avoids him that night, however, Jaeyoung’s suspicious side take a sharp and sudden interest but he still easily accepts it at face value, working halfheartedly on one of his commissions for half the evening before growing restless without Sangwoo there to ground him. To his consternation, it seems that he really has become so used to working next to his boyfriend in the evenings that not having Sangwoo there is a void that’s endlessly distracting in the worst way.

Instead, Jaeyoung starts a new show on Netflix that Sangwoo refused to watch because of its historical inaccuracy while also managing to send his boyfriend a truly alarming number of messages that aim to both annoy and endear.

Sangwoo responds to them later that night after he finishes his homework and Jaeyoung is treated to a goodnight selca that makes his heart warm and his cheeks ache with how much he loves his boy.

He’s wearing one of Jaeyoung’s hoodies, hair messy like it only is right before or after bed, and there’s a hint of a smile on his face. The message is short and sweet. Goodnight, hyung. I love you. Don’t forget to set an alarm for an hour earlier than usual.

Part of Jaeyoung wants to scoff because they’ve been dating less than a year and he’d made it just fine on his own before he had a boyfriend that was part Google Calendar-- but a much bigger part of him just wiggles in delight because Sangwoo has memorized his schedule and cares enough to send these little reminders. It makes something soft and warm curl up and flutter in his stomach anytime he stops to think about it.

Still, as he studies the picture, he thinks he sees a hint of red lining Sangwoo’s eyes, touching the tip of his nose. Jaeyoung stares at the selca long enough to commit it to memory but he tells himself it was just the lighting and goes to sleep– but not before sending his own selca with a message containing way too many heart emojis.

All of which to say, Sangwoo is able to dodge Jaeyoung for another day before his careful plans melt into disarray. By this time, his throat hurts anytime he tries to swallow and he accidentally-on-purpose snapped at an upperclassman who tried to wheedle for the answers to this afternoon’s homework. He’s started sniffling, too, which is especially irritating whenever it’s otherwise quiet in the library and he’s the only one being so disruptive.

It’s Thursday and he already knows that his plans for the weekend will consist of nothing but being lonely and miserable with nothing but a box of Kleenex for company.

Because that’s another thing. It’s been less than 48 hours since he saw Jaeyoung and he’s going half crazy with it. Knowing that Jaeyoung is so close but that he can’t see him is affecting Sangwoo more than he thought it would. Especially when he’s so miserable and feels like shit and knows that it’ll get worse before it gets better.

He catches himself wanting to text Jaeyoung every hour– sometimes just to talk but a lot of the time he has to stop himself from asking his boyfriend to come over. God, he wants nothing more than to lay down on his boyfriend’s chest, to be wrapped up in arms that make him feel small and safe and cared for. He’s been sleeping in one of Jaeyoung’s hoodies for the past couple of days but it’s a sad imitation of the real thing.

But no, he tells himself firmly for the hundredth time. He doesn’t want to get his boyfriend sick. Jaeyoung has so much going on and it would be selfish and unfair of him to not only impose but impose knowing that Jaeyoung could catch this hellish cold.

Saying it doesn’t help the way he wants, though. He’s always been a little needy, a bit clingy when he’s not feeling well. When it’s happened at university, he’s powered through knowing that there was no other option. Knowing that Jaeyoung is just a call away is bittersweet.

Jaeyoung, for his part, definitely knows by this point that something is up and that Sangwoo is avoiding him.

What he doesn’t know is why.

Sangwoo’s replies are still as understatedly attentive as ever. He still sent a goodnight selca last night. But besides his time in France, this is the longest they’ve gone without seeing each other in person and it’s driving Jaeyoung more than a little crazy.

Deciding enough is enough and that Sangwoo can damn well tell him to his face why he’s avoiding him, Jaeyoung decides to meet him after his coding class that afternoon. It’s Thursday and Thursdays are always their movie nights and Sangwoo hasn’t ghosted him yet but Jaeyoung can see it coming and he plans to stop Sangwoo in his tracks.

Most of Jaeyoung’s afternoon is spent meeting with a few potential collaborators on a web campaign. As soon as that concludes, however, Jaeyoung crosses the city to campus.

Looking down at his watch, he sees that Sangwoo’s class should be letting out in ten minutes, so he heads over to the computer science building to wait. He replies to Yuna’s texts in the meantime and looks up just as a dozen or so students start pouring out the doors.

He scans their faces but none of them are Sangwoo, which is unusual. His boyfriend is usually the first one out. Jaeyoung’s just getting ready to text him, see if he missed him after all, when he finally sees Sangwoo exiting the building.

Before he even quite knows what he’s seeing, something in Jaeyoung’s heart just melts. It’s a cold November day, the sky dark and gloomy, the air frigid. And there Sangwoo is, bundled in one of his hoodies– a red one, to Jaeyoung’s surprise– face mask and hat all but completely obscuring his face. Over the hoodie, is one of Jaeyoung’s jackets that he’d thought he’d lost last time he did laundry.

His mouth curls at the corner in delight. He’s such a little thief, Jaeyoung thinks absolutely besotted.

“Sangwoo-ah,” Jaeyoung calls out.

Sangwoo jerks to a standstill, looking up. Even though most of his face is covered, Jaeyoung sees well enough that Sangwoo feels caught.

“Hyung?” Sangwoo asks, not stepping any closer. “What are you doing here?”

Well, fine then. Jaeyoung takes it upon himself to close the distance between them. He doesn’t stop until he’s standing right in front of Sangwoo and then he leans down until he’s in his space. “Can’t a man surprise his boyfriend after class?” He raises an eyebrow, knowing he’s definitely annoying Sangwoo.

And there’s the spark in Sangwoo’s eyes that’s always a dead giveaway that he’s about to get huffy. Something in Jaeyoung preens in satisfaction– he loves getting a reaction out of Sangwoo.

In the next moment, though, he’s frowning. Because sure there’s a spark now but Sangwoo’s eyes still look a little dull, the shadows underneath pronounced. His forehead is a little sweaty and that doesn’t make sense at all– sure, Sangwoo is wearing a hoodie and jacket but it is November and it is freezing. He’s dressed appropriately.

“Baby,” Jaeyoung asks, voice dropping to something low and warm.

Sangwoo had said once, half delirious with sleep deprivation, that he loves Jaeyoung’s voice always but especially when it takes on this cadence. Makes me feel taken cared of, feels like it wraps around me, makes me feel warm, he’d said.

The admission had ruined Jaeyoung in a way that made him want to use the voice all the time, just to watch the way tension melted off Sangwoo’s shoulders.

He’d made a study of it– using the voice during sex was a given but slipping into it when Sangwoo was stressed, when he wanted to tease in a way that made both of them turn into each other, when it was just the two of them and Jaeyoung just wanted Sangwoo to know he was there– the feeling is indescribable, knowing the power Sangwoo lets him wield.

Now, when there’s just a few other students rushing around, when it’s like the two of them are in their own bubble on campus, using that tone stills something deep in both of them.

Jaeyoung reaches a hand up, trails a finger over the shell of Sangwoo’s ear.

He wasn’t really worried that something was wrong. Most of Jaeyoung just missed Sangwoo and wanted to see him and maybe tease him about how could school be more important than spending quality time with his perfect boyfriend.

Now, though– well, he’s still not worried but he knows something is up and he knows they aren’t leaving this spot until Sangwoo tells him what it is.

Sangwoo is staring straight ahead at his chin, not making eye contact. Jaeyoung leans even further down, until he’s almost touching the fabric of Sangwoo’s face mask, until his boyfriend has no choice but to meet his gaze.

“Baby,” he murmurs again, watching as something shifts behind those beautiful eyes– even when he’s not at his best, Sangwoo still takes his breath away. “Tell hyung what’s wrong, hm?”

He sees Sangwoo blink a few times– clearing his head, Jaeyoung thinks with not inconsiderable smugness— and he hears Sangwoo suck in a breath before his boyfriend is leaning back, holding a hand to Jaeyoung’s chest to keep the space between them.

“I told you that I need to focus on school for the next few days,” Sangwoo says. The words words feel stiff, like he’s rehearsed them too much to ring true.

Jaeyoung reaches up for the hand staying him, links their fingers together before bringing them right back flush against each other.

Sangwoo doesn’t protest.

Time to play a little dirty, then. Jaeyoung smiles, something small that curves the edge of his eyes. Sangwoo’s own narrow in warning but Jaeyoung doesn’t pay him any mind.

He squeezes the hand still in his, wraps his other arm around Sangwoo until it rests low on his back. He pulls him forward into an embrace close to a hug as he whispers in his ear, “Come on, baby. You know I can tell when you’re lying.”

To his surprise, Sangwoo doesn’t immediately pull back and get defensive. Sangwoo doesn’t deflect or start arguing at all. There’s no quip on his tongue, eager to spill out and start a round of bickering that’s usually fun and engaging.

No, instead his cute little boyfriend just snuggles into him?

Jaeyoung can’t help the shiver that snakes up his spine as Sangwoo noses along the column of his throat. His face mask is scratchy against his skin but his boyfriend doesn’t seem to mind the barrier between them.

“Sangwoo?”

Sangwoo’s arms come up to wrap around his waist, holding tight as if to make sure Jaeyoung doesn't try to pull away. He lays his head against Jaeyoung’s shoulder, seems to settle in, letting out an absent hum of relief.

Tightening his grip, Jaeyoung starts swaying them back and forth a little. Resting his head on top of Sangwoo’s, Jaeyoung can’t help his smile. He squeezes him closer. “Sangwoo-ah, baby, can you answer me?”

Something in Jaeyoung– definitely his heart– absolutely melts at the way Sangwoo relaxes completely against him. This isn’t anything new, Sangwoo has a tendency to slip like this when it’s just them, but it is unexpected for it to happen in public. And while Jaeyoung still doesn’t think anything is dangerously wrong, he needs to find out what’s going on.

Finally, Sangwoo sighs. His voice is low and hoarse and rough at the edges. His tone is petulant as he reluctantly says, “I don’t feel good, hyung.”

Jaeyoung’s heart squeezes painfully before tumbling at Sangwoo’s feet. He lays the softest kiss to the shell of Sangwoo’s ear, more impression of intent than anything else. “What’s wrong, baby?”

It’s silent for a long moment that fills with the sounds of birds in the distance, the chatter of a group of students several yards away talking about the midterm they all just failed. Internally, Jaeyoung starts compiling a list of things he might need in the immediate future, from medicine to Sangwoo’s favorite Ghibli film to that chicken congee recipe he had his eomma email him during his freshman year.

Sangwoo eventually pulls back enough to meet Jaeyoung’s eyes. His own are red and a little hazy. He stares at Jaeyoung for a long moment and Jaeyoung lets himself look back. The truth is, Sangwoo looks more than a little miserable and things are coming together but he needs Sangwoo to just tell him so that Jaeyoung can do what he wants to– what, suddenly, he has a burning need to do.

“I’m in the midst of an annual cold,” Sangwoo finally says, sounding extremely disgruntled. Jaeyoung bites his cheek so he doesn’t smile– God, Sangwoo is so cute like this.

Jaeyoung leans a little closer, narrowing his eyes in the way that’s mostly teasing but still has a kernel of seriousness. “And why didn’t you tell me? Me, your boyfriend, whose job is to take care of his boyfriend when he’s not feeling well?” He pouts exaggeratedly. “I can’t take care of you if you avoid me, Jagiya, if you don't tell me when something's wrong.”

Studiously avoiding his gaze, Sangwoo takes a shuddering breath before he mutters, “You shouldn’t have to take care of me, especially not when you have so much on your plate right now.”

Jaeyoung immediately shakes his head. “Doesn’t matter,” he says firmly.

Even under the mask, Jaeyoung can see Sangwoo’s mouth turn down. “I could get you sick.”

Jaeyoung reaches a hand up to flick against the brim of Sangwoo’s hat just to see the mulish set of his brows better. “Doesn’t matter,” he repeats.

“But–”

“Sangwoo-ah,” Jaeyoung cuts him off, leaning down until he’s back in his space. He gentles his voice. “Baby, I love you and I love taking care of you.” And oh, here he gets to see the quiet happiness well in Sangwoo’s eyes, the easing of tension along his brow.

“I want to be there when you’re happy and feeling good but I also want to be there when you feel like shit and not your best. Don’t you want that, too?”

“It’s not fair,” Sangwoo offers weakly, closely his eyes against the onslaught that is a pouting Jaeyoung.

Jaeyoung hums in thought. “What’s not fair, my stubborn boyfriend, is you trying to hide this from me. Do you know how amazing I am at playing nursemaid? You haven’t even tasted my congee!”

Sangwoo leans forward until he can rest his forehead against Jaeyoung’s chest. “I’m probably going to be an ass when I’m sick.”

Sangwoo feels Jaeyoung laugh before his boyfriend’s hands come up to rub soothingly down his back. It feels amazing, exactly what he’d been imagining over the past few days when he desperately wanted to call Jaeyoung for the comfort only his boyfriend could provide– he feels warm and cared for and it’s so good he feels tears sting his eyes.

Now that he’s caught, he doesn’t really want to argue and belabor his point.

No, he knows what he wants– what he’s wanted since he first started coming down with this hellish cold– and he just doesn’t have it in himself to deny him– them both, apparently– of this any longer.

His voice is tinged with exhaustion but any remaining tension drains out of him as Sangwoo finally accepts that he does have someone he can lean on and that the person is not only willing but eager to do so.

“Please take care of me, Jaeyoungie-hyung.”

Jaeyoung’s heart stills at the request, soft spoken but aching with want. His chest feels too small to contain this feeling, the sheer desire to care for the man in front of him in any way he needs, in every way he can. “Of course, baby,” he whispers against the top of his head, laying a kiss over his hat-covered hair. “Of course.”

It’s another few moments before Jaeyoung eases his hold on Sangwoo just to immediately take his hand. He leans down, quick, just to kiss the edge of Sangwoo's cheek where it meets the mask and even in that barely-there touch, Jaeyoung felt the warmth of Sangwoo's flush. “Let’s go home.”

Over the next three days, Sangwoo’s cold does indeed gets worse. He loses his voice almost completely, his coughing annoys him so much that he can only wonder at how Jaeyoung seems unbothered, and he goes through enough tissues that he should’ve bought stock in Kleenex.

Through it all, Jaeyoung takes care of him. That first night, they went back to Sangwoo’s apartment together and while Sangwoo took a shower, Jaeyoung ran to the corner mart to pick up anything he might need, including groceries for his eomma’s congee.

When he gets back to the apartment, Sangwoo is in a clean sweatshirt of Jaeyoung’s and a pair of leggings, damp hair hanging in his eyes. Jaeyoung urges him to rest on the couch while he sets about making dinner. He hasn’t been sick in a while, though, and so when he gets to step seven he calls his eomma just to make sure that Sangwoo will have something edible to eat at the end of this.

His mom is endeared– Jaeyoung has talked extensively about Sangwoo– and Jaeyoung keeps his voice low as he finishes cooking in the kitchen.

More often than he’d admit, Jaeyoung takes a step back to check in on his boyfriend. At one point, he loses himself watching the slow rise and fall of his chest, enthralled with the way the light from the lamp in the corner warms Sangwoo’s otherwise pale face.

He makes it back in the kitchen just on time. He would’ve been so upset if he’d overcooked the chicken, he thinks wryly. Sangwoo’s throat is already itchy and irritated, he doesn’t need to try to choke down dry chicken on top of it.

All of that effort must pay off because Sangwoo actually does cry, just a little, when Jaeyoung wakes him up with a bowl later in the evening. Jaeyoung doesn’t tease, doesn’t show just how he’s melted into a puddle at seeing his boyfriend’s eyes widen upon seeing dinner after his nap, at the way Sangwoo tears up because it’s so good and Jaeyoung is taking care of him so well even though it’s only been two hours and he loves this man so much, he’s so lucky–

Jaeyoung cuts his rambling off with a kiss, looking pleased with himself when he pulls back.

Sangwoo, for his part, is horrified. “You’re going to get sick,” he hisses, covering his mouth, scandalized.

Jaeyoung just shrugs and winks at him. “Guess you’ll have to take care of me, then, huh?”

Sangwoo does his best to glower but it quickly morphs into a sneeze and Jaeyoung laughs softly, way too fucking endeared as Sangwoo just looks like a sad kitten and really, he wonders, the heart can’t be meant to hold all of this feeling.

Most of the weekend is spent with Sangwoo cuddled up to Jaeyoung, resting his absolutely aching head against his boyfriend’s chest and using Jaeyoung as his own space heater. Jaeyoung keeps a strict schedule with the medicine and fluids and they spend the entire weekend watching movies or resting. Jaeyoung, for his part, spends a lot of the time that Sangwoo is asleep simply watching his boyfriend.

It’s a quiet but no less striking contentment.

Even though Sangwoo’s hair is sweaty and Jaeyoung definitely knows he’s going to be sick by this time next week, it’s more than worth it to him. And contrary to Sangwoo’s warning, he’s not an asshole at all– he’s pliant and soft around the edges, clingy in a way Jaeyoung loves, in a way he doesn’t ever see himself getting used to.

It tempers something in him, being Sangwoo’s boyfriend, the person Sangwoo can rest with, the person Sangwoo lets in. It’s something he’s never had before and treasures immensely– even if it means Sangwoo sneezing right in his face on Saturday morning when Jaeyoung wakes him up for his morning dose of medicine.

And sure enough, ten days later it’s Sangwoo’s chance to return the favor as Jaeyoung proves to be a dramatic– but not difficult, not at all if you know him, if you love him, if you treasure any and all chance to show him and care for him– patient himself.