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Chapter Text

~~~~~

No one believes me ‘cause no one can see it. Might kill me to keep it; it’s my little secret.

~~~~~

When Mucheng entered the room, he knew the time had come. He looked at her and the emotion in her eyes told him all he needed to know. 

Yes, she knew some of what was occurring, but certainly not all. 

It was better this way. It was the best way to keep her safe. 

Ye Xiu slipped the lighter he’d held to the cigarette that dangled from him mouth back into his pocket, taking the unlit stick out of his mouth with two fingers to slide back into the nearly empty cigarette carton before he stood and pulled out his account card. 

He hid his wince at the movement, his abdomen on fire but strangely icy all the while as he tried to breathe through the pain that had become a constant in his life in the past 3 years. 

“Let’s go.” He said with a kind-hearted but somewhat apologetic smile. 

His little sister frowned at him, unshed tears building in her eyes, but she steadfastly held them back. 

Good, Ye Xiu thought. Mucheng’s tears were always enough to make him rethink everything. He couldn’t this time though. He really couldn’t. 

If only she knew. But if everything went well, she never would know the full extent. 

As they traversed the halls of Excellent Era, Ye Xiu held his lips in a thin line. The pain in every step hadn’t abated in days and he was almost tempted to go to the hospital but knew they could do nothing, and it’d only make things more difficult. No. He had to endure. Just a little longer. 

As they rounded the corner to Tao Xuan’s office, Cui Li strode out with a swagger that was hard to miss. Ye Xiu didn’t react in time to avoid Cui Li bumping his shoulder roughly.

Ye Xiu stumbled only slightly, his face not betraying any ounce of pain. Mucheng bit her lip to keep the sharp remark on the tip of her tongue at bay, knowing it would do no good at this moment despite her displeasure at how the manager was treating that man who practically raised her.

Ye Xiu placed a hand on her shoulder, offering his appreciation but nodding to the door that he knew held the beginning and the end simultaneously. This was inevitable. 

He could practically feel the smirk on Cui Li’s face somewhere behind him even as he continued to walk away from where he’d slammed into Ye Xiu. 

Mucheng stepped in first. She passed the threshold of the door and moved to stand by the wall. Ye Xiu followed silently, fingers held steady in fists. 

Tao Xuan welcomed him, informed him of Sun Xiang coming to take over One Autumn Leaf, and distantly felt his heart break for a multitude of reasons. 

With trembling hands that were entirely due to the pent-up emotions that were held back by his battered ribs that threatened to break him from the inside out, he went to hand over the card; but he held on, asking whether this young man loved Glory. 

He hoped he did. Glory was the one thing that had been getting him through everything. Had gotten him up to this point and he desired only to continue on, but of his own volition. 

Sun Xiang had scoffed. Ye Xiu let his hand fall and stepped away. 

Tao Xuan wasn’t done though, and here it was, the fruit of his labor; forced retirement for Ye Xiu. 

Mucheng put up the expected protest, but Ye Xiu made her stop with but a few words and gestures before stepping up to willingly sign. 

This wasn’t just about Tao Xuan. Sure, the man’s eyes were oozing greed like it was their fucking job, but Ye Xiu signed for more than just to placate his once friend’s greediness. 

For Mucheng. For Ye Qiu. For… well, he had another name in mind, but he steadfastly refused to say it. If he did, his resolve might crumble despite the deed already being done. 

Tao Xuan knew he couldn’t afford the cancellation fee. He’d made sure of that. And any thoughts of fighting back were stripped from him at the end of season 4 of the pro alliance. Or so they’d all thought. Ye Xiu was nothing if not annoyingly stubborn and persistent, but Tao Xuan couldn’t begin to fathom his stubbornness to play Glory the same way Cui Li could never fathom how even a sliver of hope in life still remained, carefully hidden within Ye Xiu’s heart. 

With nothing left to say, Ye Xiu turned and left. His things were already packed in his tiny gym bag that he used for anything other than it’s intended workout clothes. 

His body couldn’t afford any more strain. 

Mucheng waited for him and then walked him out the door. It wasn’t until they were out of Excellent Era’s fly-on-the-wall cage meant to keep people in more so than keep others out that he spoke. 

“Mucheng, keep fighting. Be good. And…” he hesitated. Mucheng looked at him with such implicit trust, he had to tread carefully. “And I’ll see you again soon.” He promised. It was all he could say for now.

She asked him what he planned on doing, but all he’d say was play Glory. What else could he do? He fussed over her a little, and she fussed right back. How rich it must be for Mucheng to hear Ye Xiu say that she must take care of herself when he himself hardly did. To describe him as a bag of bones wouldn’t really be inaccurate. He barely kept up with the nutrition demands that necessitated energy for playing Glory, and sometimes not even that. It wasn’t enough either way.

Luckily, no one seemed to notice his gradual weight loss, especially since more often than not he drowned himself in layer upon layer of shirts and jackets. 

He stayed and convinced Mucheng to go back inside and waited until she’d fully started climbing the stairs to surreptitiously make his was over to the wall where two men in suits with the Excellent Era symbols emblazoned on their lapels were leaning lazily against the building.

They each had a cigarette in hand with little trails of smoke tendrils wafting into the air. Ye Xiu pulled out his cigarettes and lighter and joined them. 

He took a few puffs, savoring the familiar way it seemed to cloud his lungs, taking away that edge of agony that always accompanied one part or another of his body. The cold seemed to make the aches all the more sharp, but he ignored them as always. 

“Lovely weather we’re having.” Ye Xiu commented lightly, holding the cigarette between his fingers, speaking after the exhale of a plume of smoke to mix with the medium sized flakes of snow that were drifting from the grey scaled sky. Winter was surely here.

“We’ll be here. We’ll guard Ms. Su, you have our word.” 

The two men next to him were in fact, security guards at Excellent Era. Ye Xiu had recruited them himself, although the management wasn’t aware of this fact. He’d actually stolen them from Tyranny. 

It was weird. He’d come to trust Tyranny more than he trusted Excellent Era. Yes, the majority of the fan’s hated his guts and the team was also less than welcoming, sans a few of them, but at least they were consistent. 

Their single-minded strength of opposing Ye Xiu, known of course as Ye Qiu to everyone else, was refreshing to see because they never changed paths from what they perceived as right. They didn’t back down, as if they’d removed the word retreat from their vocabulary. 

He’d seen these security guards at an away game in QingDao. With much trepidation, he’d actually approached them. 

It was the first time in, well, ever really that he’d told some of the story he’d held close to his heart. He couldn’t know if they’d agree, just trusted his judge of character despite the lack of success that seemed to have in the past. It really went 50/50. There were people like Mucheng and then there were people like Tao Xuan and Cui Li, the latter significantly worse in Ye Xiu’s opinion. 

These two though? After seeing his desperation, they’d believed. He didn’t even really need to explain, just his approaching of them seemed to sway them with minimal details, if any at all.

They were consummate professionals and quietly and efficiently withdrew from their positions from Tyranny with some excuse or another while keeping tight lipped about what they perceived of Ye Xiu’s circumstances. 

They then moved quickly to HangZhou, used to moving to different places on the whims of their employers, and applied to Excellent Era, where two guards had just recently quit. 

Maybe it was because they were from Tyranny in the first place that they were hired, as if they’d spill team secrets, but they were hired nonetheless. Which meant Ye Xiu was no longer shouldering everything on his own. Well, he still was, but at least he had just the tiniest bit of insurance for Mucheng. 

And no one would suspect that Ye Xiu had gone to Tyranny’s people for help in any way shape or form because obviously, they were archenemies. Especially him and Han Wenqing. 

Right? 

Ye Xiu wisely didn’t continue that thought, already used to the desire of a cigarette whenever he followed that thread of thoughts and feelings. Even now, while he smoked, he craved another one. 

“Please don’t let Su Mucheng be alone with Cui Li, or anyone as much as possible for that matter.” The two guards remained silent, but their silence was reassurance enough. Because they could be being watched they weren’t supposed to reveal their connection. 

Ye Xiu snubbed out his cigarette against the wall of Excellent Era’s building; a small rebellion in the grand scheme of things, and totally inconsequential all in all. As he walked away, barely moving his mouth, he spoke again. 

“Watch out for Sun Xiang too if you can.” 

It wasn’t that Ye Xiu thought of him as family, but he’d loathed to see another person in his position take the brunt of what Cui Li dished out. It seemed exclusive to captains, but if Ye Xiu kept up his end of the bargain, or perhaps remained under the radar doing things, Sun Xiang shouldn’t be in any danger. 

With that declaration, he pushed himself off the wall and walked on instinct away from the place he hadn’t thought of as home in a long time as the two guards, Qin Fu and Yang Yinzhi watched on in silent anguish on his behalf. 

Ye Xiu strolled across the street, drawn in by the computers he’d sometimes been able to see from his window. It looked like an escape from his window when he’d stood there without a shirt on, trying to grit his teeth through the pain as he cleaned himself up from whatever he’d had to endure that day. 

It was close enough that he could get to Mucheng if something went wrong too. And he reasoned that they were less likely to find him right under their noses. 

Cui Li never stipulated how far away he had to stay… 

He’d gotten a computer and tried hard to control the tremble when he handed over his actual ID. Somehow, the very use of it made him feel exposed to a past even before Excellent Era. He resolutely didn’t think about that. He’d been doing that sort of thing a lot lately. 

Glory certainly was a helpful distraction from the darkness that had been creeping into his mind for who knew how long now, and also from the pain. 

Always with the pain. That physical pain that no one could see. 

Cui Li was smarter than he looked that was for sure. Never left marks anywhere others could see. 

When he sat down at the computer previously occupied, seemingly by someone who was in charge of this place, a Glory match had started. 

Instinctually, grasping for that distraction like a lifeline, he played. It felt good to win. It was all he really had now. It was all he was good at. Good for. And he didn’t mind. The shouts around him bounced off and he blew on his chilled fingers. 

The boss, Chen Guo, was shocked at how he’d easily beaten someone she’d been having trouble with. Immediately, she correctly guessed his identity. 

Wait, where is my ID? Ye Xiu thought to himself when the woman from the front desk came bearing it. He berated himself for his scatterbrained-ness and went to retrieve it before it was snatched unceremoniously by the boss. 

Her excitement was palpable, but when she read his ID, that excitement quickly turned to disappointment as she handed it to him with a “tch” and Ye Xiu smiled slightly. 

Yeah, I’d feel like that if I met me too. Oh well. He clicked around and saw an advertisement for a night manager position and jumped at the opportunity to put down some roots here somehow. 

Be close to Mucheng, just in case. And also I have no where else to go and no money to even buy cigarettes at this point. 

She accepted, thank god, and soon the new server opened. 

He learned rather quickly the kind of personality Chen Guo had, and felt a little more settled than he had. At least he knew what to expect. 

He also thought, although it might sound sexist, thank god she’s a woman. Just that little extra chance that she wouldn’t actively attempt to hurt him. Not that it wasn’t possible but… he’d ignore that.

Chen Guo fell asleep soon after 1am and Ye Xiu went about his business. 

He knew his value within the game was decent, so he at least didn’t doubt himself there. Even when Sleeping Moon attempted to sabotage him, he’d adopted that necessary arrogance that he’d had to integrate into his real life with ease, like slipping on a coat. And when they started trash talking him, he could only shrug. 

They weren’t wrong that he was the worst kind of scum in real life; a real bottom dweller in terms of how he got by. But in game, he was pretty good. 

He played and played even when Chen Guo woke up and went to bed. When she emerged in the morning, tired but less grumpy and quite accommodating, he smiled. 

She had been playfully hitting him on the shoulder throughout the night and this morning too. When jolts of pain would shockwave through him, he merely winced and grit his teeth, controlling his breathing. 

Chen Guo had frowned, actually decently observant despite her lack of awareness in Glory. 

Ye Xiu sighed, but asked where he could sleep, feeling exhaustion to his core dragging him down into the pits of sleep faster than he’d like to admit. He’d blame his injuries for that though. He was used to not sleeping all that much. 

Chen Guo showed him to a modest storage room, well, modest by his standards. It was really only about as big as his room in Excellent Era, but with more clutter. It felt homey. Too open of space made him feel exposed, causing his skin to crawl and bugs to worm their way into his chest, making his heart begin to beat irregularly and too quickly for sure. In short, he liked the space. It suited him perfectly. He settled in as if he was a book being placed back on its position on a bookshelf.

All he really needed was a bed and he was set, and low and behold, there was a bed. 

Without anything else flowing through his mind, locked firmly behind thick mental walls, Ye Xiu collapsed on the bed and fell asleep within seconds. 

The benefit of sleep deprivation for him was the speed he fell asleep at and the deepness he fell into. 

He didn’t see the way Chen Guo’s lips tugged down as her eyes roved accessing-ly over his figure, her eyebrows dipping down in worry before she left him to sleep, resolving to get him to eat later while also clenching her fist in a sort of tentative promise as to cease use of it. 

She could feel even through his excessive layers how thin he truly was. Perhaps it was even the layers of clothes that had indicated his plight. 

And the intense wince when she’d playfully hit him. She shook her head, trying not to overthink things. Chen Guo went down to get to work, putting the possibly battered stray she picked up out of her mind for the moment. 

~~~~~ 

Up North in Qingdao, a man sat in front of his computer in a training room late late late into the night. The perpetual scowl on his face was enough to deter even the most confident of people from so much as making too loud a shuffling noise with their feet or tapping sounds on their keyboards and certainly no one told him to get some rest. 

He was of course his own person, but with a team member that had such strict self-discipline, sometimes it was easier to go with their flow. 

Zhang XinJie, however, knew better today. 

He didn’t pry, but he was in fact very concerned. He’d never seen his Captain like this. It was disconcerting to say the least, downright alarming if he was to say the most. 

It wasn’t that the Captain was angry. Okay yes, he was clearly extraordinarily angry, furious even, but it was a cover. 

Anger is more often than not, a cover for more complicated and damaging emotions. 

And to Zhang XinJie, Han Wenqing looked hurt and worried. 

The confidence their Captain had in his abilities was no secret, but now, this worry hidden by rage, was leading to self-doubt. 

Unfortunately, said hurt Captain was well aware of his vice-captain’s nosiness and resolutely hid whatever he was staring at on his computer until Zhang XinJie ultimately gave up for the day, resolving to continue tomorrow, as had their routine been for quite a while now. 

Han Wenqing was righteously angry, but absolutely more hurt and broken. He stared at the QQ window where he’d been unable to type any messages since the barrage he’d sent on that first day, but nonetheless awaited a reply that still hadn’t come. 

He’d lovingly nicknamed the user夜球 “Yè Qiú”*, a name he’d only allowed himself to call the man in his head and indulge in on QQ. If anyone looked, they’d be very confused as to who he was speaking to, but if they were smart, they’d be able to guess. It was just a synonym of the man’s name. It just said Night Ball instead of Autumn Leaf. It was an easy code which is why he only truly stared at the words he’d sent uninterrupted after everyone else had left. 

Desert Dust (Han Wenqing): What do you mean you ‘can’t do this anymore’?

Desert Dust (Han Wenqing): What do you mean you’re ‘done’?

Desert Dust (Han Wenqing): What do you mean ‘goodbye’? 

Desert Dust (Han Wenqing): What did I do wrong? 

Han Wenqing lamented that he seemed a little desperate at the time, but he was genuinely concerned. All these statements, he’d never in his life imagined he’d hear them from this man. 

This man, who always strode towards victory steadfastly and with confidence, suddenly saying these things like doubt and worry? 

It was unheard of. 

They’d often go through periods of not really exchanging messages as the season became more intense, so it wasn’t surprising to Han Wenqing that Ye Qiu had gone radio silent, especially with how poor his team had been doing this season. But then, he’d received a message. 

Night Ball: Han Wenqing, I can’t do this anymore. I’m done. This is the end. It’s over. Goodbye.

It’s over? What’s fucking over? Their relationship? Ye Qiu’s life? Their love? WHAT?!? 

Han Wenqing had obviously replied with “???” On that first day, followed promptly by many inquiries but for an entire night and after many upset messages, with a broken heart seemingly unfit of the intimidating image Han Wenqing usually upheld, he messaged one more time.

Desert Dust (Han Wenqing): Just say something. Don’t leave me here with nothing. I know I deserve more than this.

He’d gone to sleep then, hoping for a response in the morning, but none came. His heartbrokenness quickly turned into righteous fury. 

Of course he’d be angry. This came out of fucking nowhere! But then the idea that Han Wenqing had done something to drive Ye Qiu to this point hit him like a train and Han Wenqing could only hold onto the anger to not kneel under the weight of the guilt and heartbreak. 

But then there was worry. How fucking long had it been since he’d even heard from Ye Qiu? Since before the alliance’s season break and he’d sent that cryptic as fuck message? Was he dead? 

If they weren’t keeping their relationship a secret, Han Wenqing would have been on a plane to HangZhou in an instant on the day he’d received these messages. 

Currently, he was cursing Ye Qiu in his heart for his continued refusal to purchase or let Han Wenqing purchase him a cellphone. 

He’d accept a flip phone at this point! 

But apparently it was too late. 

After so long without a response, Han Wenqing finally couldn’t stand it anymore and directly messaged Su Mucheng, the only one known to be close to Ye Qiu. But even she hadn’t messaged him back! He was at his wits end.

With a dramatic sigh that was covering more than just his frustration, Han Wenqing logged off and went to bed. 

He’d try again tomorrow. He’d always try again. 

Laying in his bed, the aching loneliness was much more intense than it had ever been. Sure, he was used to sleeping alone in a large bed, but not knowing that there was the one someone he wanted to be thinking about him within his reach via even messages, well, it was hard to fall asleep, and in the morning, an aggressive workout was likely the only thing that would keep him from buying a plane ticket with no remorse. 

He’d regret it the next day when the news broke, but he’d also know then that he’d been too late for too long. 

~~~~~ 

Ye Xiu woke to darkness and momentarily froze. Am I late for something? Did practice already happen? Did I miss a match? How am I still allowed to be sleeping this late? 

His heartbeat skyrocketed and his whole body began to shake. He clenched his eyes, breathing through his nose, trying to control himself even as his abdomen and ribs pierced him uncomfortably. 

And his shoulder had a dull ache. Wait… Cui Li never hit him anywhere hear his arms. The man was a lot of things, violent, cold, sadistic, but also practical. He knew Ye Xiu only had value to Excellent Era so long as he could play, and he couldn’t play if his arms or hands were hurt. 

Then why did his arm hurt? Oh yeah, Chen Guo had been playfully hitting him. 

Chen Guo, his new boss, who wasn’t a part of Excellent Era. 

He was safe here. 

Well, safer he supposed. 

With the reminder of where he was, Ye Xiu let out a shuddering breath. He scrubbed a hand over his face, trying to stop his shaking. He had his coat laid over him like a blanket and with his unsteady hands he reached into his pocket to pull out his cigarette pack, desperate for another one of his distractions. This one grounded him by locking away the upsetting things behind a wall of nicotine haze. 

He lit a cigarette and placed it between his lips, letting it dangle lazily until he found his lighter and lit it.

Ye Xiu stood up and moved the blackout curtains aside and stared at the building across from him. He expertly found where Mucheng’s window would be and stared at it in silent prayer that she was safe and well. 

He’d left her in the tiger’s den, but he’d get her out. He wouldn’t dare leave her there on her own. 

But staring at that building brought back a wave of memories that would normally have been kept at bay by the nicotine. 

A meeting room’s ceiling above him as he laid on the floor, tasting blood from a bleeding lip. The kicks to his ribs that followed, hearing a sickening crunch from the force. Growled words of contempt and threats that dug into his heart and told him he was worthless. 

Ye Xiu clutched the windowsill and stared down into the street, unable to bring himself to take a drag of his cigarette.

The window was decently high off the ground, but he immediately judged it as being unable to kill him unless he did a nosedive. And the window didn’t even open. 

Ye Xiu suddenly reeled back, realizing where his thoughts had gone. He stepped back from the ledge and let the curtains fall back in place. 

He took the cigarette out and licked his lips, ascertaining that they weren’t in fact bleeding, but we’re extremely chapped. 

Silently, he gripped his cigarette pack in a tight fist as the shame washed over him. These thoughts twisting him so violently were ones he couldn’t admit to anyone. Even when he’d told those guards he’d hired, he had only alluded to someone at Excellent Era facing abuse. He couldn’t voice things he tried so hard to hide.

He’s been holding them down, but now he was only hanging by a thread, and despite taking the steps to continue on through life, he knew deep down he didn’t want to be saved. 

He wanted to fall, wanted to break under everything unsaid and unknown to others. He felt he couldn’t take living with these thoughts in his head. 

If I surrender to these monsters in my mind, will it set me free? 

Ye Xiu had found himself often wondering what the point of hanging on was, especially when it seemed that no one really cared if he just stopped existing. 

Excellent Era’s team members, minus Mucheng of course, were constantly telling him through their actions that he wouldn’t be missed. 

It was a fight he didn’t really want to win at this point. The fight to stay with Excellent Era was a losing one and he knew it, but he just kept fighting, just kept going through the motions. 

But every time he caught sight of Mucheng’s smile, or heard the undertone of endearment towards his continued persistence from his… (Rival? Beloved? Both?) he realized why he held it all in. 

That tiny sliver of hope still remained. His Rival, Beloved, Both, didn’t back down, and he wouldn’t either. He didn’t have plans yet, not really, not fully thought-out ones, but he had resolved from the very first time Cui Li had laid hands on him that he wouldn’t get away with it forever. He at least wanted to get the man away from Excellent Era.

But he had to protect Mucheng first and foremost. He could handle the consequences until he knew Mucheng was safe, and he had something to guarantee Cui Li wouldn’t be able to hurt anyone again. 

Taking a steadying breath and finishing off his cigarette that had mostly burned away before swallowing a grimace of pain, Ye Xiu exited the room to start his day, evening, night, shift. 

~~~~~ 

After a quick shower, cataloguing of the remaining bruises, scratches, and other marks that littered his stomach, chest, back, and legs, Ye Xiu dressed comfortably and kneaded the nearly empty carton of cigarettes in his pocket as he walked down the stairs into the cafe. 

The atmosphere was dark and gloomy which seemed fitting to the emotions he’d just battled to get under control. He had exited the shower and took another cigarette which seemed to calm his nerves exceptionally better than a half smoked one.

He came into the Café where there was a crowd around a screen watching. Ye Xiu let the words enter his ears and he froze as he approached.

“This afternoon, Club Excellent Era has announced that Captain Ye Qiu has decided to retire. Ye Qiu has rejected Excellent Era’s offers of other positions and has already left the premises.”

Whatever else they were saying about his accomplishments washed over him lazily even as he stared at the screen. Unbidden, those same memories from when he’d woken up flashed in his mind. But also, the thought of One Autumn Leaf, the character he’d built up alongside his best friend lost many years prior came too and he felt an overwhelming sense of loss. It was similar to losing a close friend, or maybe a little like losing a beloved pet.

If he didn’t get away… he might just collapse from the feelings that seemed equivalent to the thoughts of being abused. His ribs ached in a reminder of just how much he’d endured for his dream and quickly turned to step out of the Café for yet another cigarette.

He needed it. But before he even had a chance to light it, he heard the unmistakable sound of crying. He turned to find Chen Guo curled up against the wall of the Café.

He asked her what was wrong, and she immediately called him an asshole. “Do you feel nothing?” She exclaimed in outrage.

Ye Xiu squatted down next to her as snow fell in fluffy flakes onto the wettened pavement all around and he pointedly ignored his body’s protest of the position.

“More than you’ll ever know… Can’t you see I couldn’t handle it and ran out?” He replied, unable to voice it in any other way. But he made a joke of it, nonetheless. He really had “run” out. It was too stifling to be there with all those personal memories projected on the screen viewed by millions without the proper context. They’d likely blame him, and he certainly didn’t fault them for it. He blamed himself too.

Needing a distraction, he ventured back in cautiously to retrieve a tissue for Chen Guo. After she blew her nose, of course she headed back in, chilled from the cold. Ye Xiu indulged in his cigarette, staring over at Excellent Era’s building, trying to find some semblance of calm amidst the storm in his soul that threatened to dig up all the memories from the past 10 years and more.

All he could think was, it really is cold.

It was cold outside and Excellent Era’s treatment of him was cold and his heart and soul were cold and tired. But this was his new beginning. Well, he hoped it was at least. But that coldness seemed to have settled in his bones from long-term exposure.

Better to not dwell on it, he thought, knowing the cigarettes only offered temporary reprieve. Ye Xiu resolutely walked back into the Café, ready to get back to his other distraction and passion, for the sake of all that he’d lost and all that he’d endured.

He proceeded to spend the entire night setting records, not just for the sake of materials, but for the sake of proving to himself that he could keep pursuing his dreams despite the cold.

~~~~~

Han Wenqing certainly didn’t take the retirement with grace. He was in the training room again, contemplating the messages when his QQ dinged multiple times. He clicked on messages from many pro-players who gave him condolences in losing his rival.

Question marks appeared in Han Wenqing’s mind, and a sliver of panic slithered into his heart. Was Ye Qiu dead?! With his immense hand speed, He quickly looked up ‘Ye Qiu Glory’ knowing just how common a name it was and needing to specify which area of the internet he really wanted to see. Of course, there were already multiple articles on it and he clicked one from eSports Home which was of course the most reputable.

Han Wenqing sat in a daze as he registered the word ‘Retirement’ and listened to the reporters who regaled Ye Qiu’s achievements.

Retirement? Was that what Ye Qiu meant when he’d messaged Han Wenqing that he was done? That he couldn’t do it anymore? After all these years, he’d just up and quit, seemingly losing all his passion for the game he’d poured blood sweat and tears into supporting the professional alliance for?

Unforgivable!

Zhang XinJie was seated across from him. It was entirely deliberate on Han Wenqing’s part so that his vice-captain couldn’t look over his shoulder.

Their eyes met across the computers, Zhang XinJie having received congratulations on a rival no longer being an issue, prompting him to also search for the reasoning of these messages.

Han Wenqing sneered. “Coward.” He stated. He stood up from his seat, his chair flying backwards on its wheels from the force. Han Wenqing stomped from the room, not sure if he wanted to go workout until he dropped or just go to his room.

With a bitterness he didn’t know he possessed, Han Wenqing mentally cursed Ye Qiu’s name. How dare he just up and leave? It wasn’t a declaration as his rival, but also as his lover. Ye Qiu hadn’t just left Glory, he had also left Han Wenqing. He said he couldn’t do it anymore. Han Wenqing supposed he finally had his answer to what he meant: Everything.

He was done with Glory, and he was done with Han Wenqing. Their love apparently meant absolutely nothing to one of them and Han Wenqing was letting his anger fester to drown out the absolutely devastating loneliness that had been growing each and every day.

They had met before the Professional Alliance was even conceived. In Glory, Desert Dust and One Autumn Leaf appeared to be bitter enemies, but behind the characters were two boys of similar age who conversed teasingly. Han Wenqing hadn’t realized just how much he’d enjoyed the other boy’s company until he’d disappeared for a bit. Han Wenqing found that Glory was much less interesting without someone who was worthy in every way to oppose you.

He didn’t admit it then, but he had looked forward to every duel he’d had with Ye Qiu. It was like he suddenly wasn’t standing far above the masses but was on equal footing with someone. It was as if there was someone else in the room with him as he gamed and longed to know just who exactly could make him feel so whole. He was only minimally jealous of the boy who was always by Ye Qiu’s side. One Autumn Leaf’s loyal shadow, Autumn Tree.

Of course, the Pro Alliance was born soon and of course, Ye Qiu and him were decidedly enemies. Their rivalry carried over and Ye Qiu brought Excellent Era to become champions with single-minded determination Han Wenqing wasn’t sure one person was capable of until he saw it with his own eyes, although markedly missing his sidekick.

Throughout the whole season though, Ye Qiu had remained unseen. Even as their team held up the 24K trophy signifying their entitlement to Glory, he remained unseen. Han Wenqing had gone backstage in search of the elusive character, desperate to find the man behind the character he probably knew as well as himself.

What he found was a teenager, smiling and crying simultaneously.

His eyes spoke of unimaginable loss, but also pride. He was at the summit of Glory and was only going to go up from here. Han Wenqing had approached carefully, seeing the fragility of the moment and the person.

He noted that the boy had light brown eyes almost golden in their paleness. His face was slim, and his hair was dark black and probably as fluffy and soft as it appeared.

Han Wenqing stood carefully, fully aware of his intimidating aura and face until Ye Qiu had looked up at him with a trace of recognition. He offered Han Wenqing a teary smile and wave.

“Congratulations.” Han Wenqing said as quietly and serenely as he could, hoping to convey just how much he was feeling with as little of his usual brashness as possible.

“Thank you.” Ye Qiu had said, and they held each other’s gaze, the air charged with energy. When Excellent Era came backstage carrying their prize, Han Wenqing smartly retreated and only nearly missed bowling over a young girl he now knew was Su Mucheng running towards the group with tears in her eyes. After their celebration, Han Wenqing had remained until the next day and taken Ye Qiu out for food. He didn’t ask why he was crying, just tried to be there for him. By the end of their night, Ye Qiu and Han Wenqing were exchanging playful barbs. When they parted, they went back and continued their rekindled friendship online.

From then on, they were practically joined at the hip taunting, teasing, and jibing at each other playfully. From the outside and to other pros, they really looked like mortal enemies. But reality was they would take a few days on their breaks to meet up and messaged constantly on QQ about important things and inconsequential things alike. They took each other out for food after Tyranny vs Excellent Era matches and after Championships won in those first 4 seasons. Their first kiss was after the season 2 finals. That had caused them both to for once become entirely unable to speak until they pulled themselves together and went in for another one. It was from then on that they considered themselves dating. They continued to meet up, and talk, and revealed small details about their lives to the other throughout the months and years.

It wasn’t until season 4 that everything changed really. Tyranny had won the championships and Ye Qiu had stayed and spent the day after the celebrations with Han Wenqing. They made love and ate delicious food, Han Wenqing reveling not just in winning but in truly having the person who he felt most happy being with in game next to him in real life after all these years.

Ye Qiu returned to Excellent Era, but the two didn’t have a chance to meet up during the break. Ye Qiu was a little quieter over QQ too. Han Wenqing just figured he was busy.

The next time they met up, Ye Qiu had a haunted look in his eyes and his quips came slightly belated. He seemed even more contemplative of touching and sexual things and avoided both of them with excuses. They still went out to dinner and cuddled on more than one occasion, but that was as far as things seemed to go aside from stolen kisses, and even the kisses seemed to need to be dug out from where they were buried. It was as if Ye Qiu was afraid of being touched and Han Wenqing had received no answers whenever he asked what was wrong, Ye Qiu deflecting effortlessly and playfully, seemingly trying to fall back into their same dynamics as always. But the visits decreased after he asked.

Even when Ye Qiu would take a few days out of their break to come to QingDao in later seasons to visit and spend the night, he seemed to be far away from Han Wenqing.

Sometimes Han Wenqing would call, just checking up on him. Ye Qiu was often up at 5am, playing Glory or curled in a ball in his covers, awake. They’d talk and Han Wenqing would delight in the yawns he’d experience the next day if it meant he had spent time with Ye Qiu and possibly easing his mind of worries. Maybe it should have concerned him whether Ye Qiu had actually gone to bed or not after he hung up. All these little things were adding up and Han Wenqing just couldn’t seem to address them. He should have realized their relationship was falling apart the way it was far sooner than he actually noticed.

Han Wenqing was holding desperately onto something that was slipping away from him. Despite this, he still persisted because even though they lacked sexual intimacy most times, he still absolutely loved Ye Qiu. He tried to convince himself that there was nothing wrong. Ye Qiu had chosen Han Wenqing after all, and there were never any talks of breaking up. He tried his hardest to provide and show his love and care for the stubborn man. He really thought he’d be able to win back the affection he still believed Ye Qiu held for him.

And now? Well, now he had confirmation. Ye Qiu had been slipping away from him for a long time. It was harder than he’d like to admit coming to this conclusion and Han Wenqing was looking to punch something, or maybe get absolutely shitfaced. Maybe both.

He turned a corner which would lead him to the gym but stopped at a ping on his cellphone. He pulled it out and saw that it was a message from Su Mucheng.

Would he get answers from her? He opened the chat with a frown that hid his eagerness.

Han Wenqing was quickly disappointed though, as Su Mucheng simply apologized for the lack of reply and offered her condolences on his loss of a rival, but more importantly, a friend.

He didn’t dignify that with a response. Turning away from the gym, Han Wenqing felt deflated and went to his room to get an early night, hoping against hope that he was just dreaming all this while.

~~~~~

Zhang Xinjie watched Han Wenqing go but didn’t follow. Looking at the articles, he found that he was angry in his own way. Not so much for the loss of a tough rival. Sure, he loved a challenge, but Ye Qiu was certainly on another level, but he’d reveled in their matches. He’d go so far as to say that he and Ye Qiu were acquaintances. Which was why Zhang XinJie paid attention to the man.

He’d seen the way he’d steal furtive glances at Han Wenqing and saw how the two seemed to go out together, alone, after matches. Sometimes he even swore he saw Ye Qiu inside Tyranny’s building during breaks. At the time, he was overall, quite happy with these observations. He silently wished the two well and kept to himself. He liked to imagine both their gazes lighting up at seeing each other. He liked noticing pleasant things.

But he also noticed less than pleasant things. He noticed how Ye Qiu’s teammates seemed to be sabotaging the team during playoffs during season 5 and 6. Season 7 had had such occurrences even in the regular season. He’d also seen the haunted look in Ye Qiu’s eyes. There was palpable fear there.

Zhang Xinjie was calculative to a fault, so of course he noticed when Ye Qiu started losing significant weight. He also noticed the way the man winced in pain on occasion and flinched at loud noises.

Everything was setting alarm bells off in his head all this while. Zhang Xinjie observed Han Wenqing, trying to find indication that his Captain was abusing his boyfriend. He found absolutely no evidence of such, and actually Han Wenqing seemed to be intent on caring for Ye Qiu almost to a mother-hen extent.

So then who was hurting him? Had Zhang Xinjie’s assumptions been off? He was always cautious and never acted until he was almost 100% certain of all possible causes and outcomes. So why did he feel so sick to his stomach now? Ye Qiu had left the alliance, and if Han Wenqing’s behaviour was anything to go by, it was likely that they had broken up, or hit a rough patch.

But he wasn’t 100% certain, so all he could do was file away all that he’d observed to discuss in the future, whether with Han Wenqing or someone else he had yet to figure out. With a sigh, Zhang Xinjie checked his watch and made to leave to get ready for bed.

He wished there was some sort of step-by-step manual that would show him exactly what he needed to know and guided him into conversing properly with the parties involved to achieve his intended result.

But life was fresh out of tutorials.

~~~~~

After another successful shift of setting records and upsetting the big guilds in the server, Ye Xiu made his way up to his little room. He smoked his final cigarette and flopped into bed falling asleep promptly.

He woke up earlier than he had the day before, immediately going to get a cigarette but finding his carton empty. A pang of anxiety shot through him, and he stayed far away from the window in case he got any ideas. Ye Xiu left the room and freshened up, in desperate need of his wage to fulfill his desperate need for a cigarette to keep those thoughts at bay. He ate a bit of the food that was left for him on the table by Chen Guo before making his way down to the Café in order to find said woman and inquire about his reparations for his work, as politely as he could while his thoughts ran away to places he had to work overtime to carefully restrain from overflowing.

Ye Xiu scanned the Café in search of his elusive boss while recalling something Chen Guo had told him in an effort to distract himself until he could get ahold of his vice.

Chen Guo had mentioned another employee/friend would be returning today. She might have told him their name, but it wasn’t currently coming to mind. Regardless, she’d probably be near Chen Guo and Ye Xiu indeed could see Chen Guo standing behind a young woman at a computer. He approached the area, noting that there was a bit of a crowd around them. It was obvious from a glance that the young woman was playing Glory, and with Chen Guo’s enthusiasm, it wasn’t hard to guess she was dueling on Chen Guo’s behalf.

Watching her, Ye Xiu noted she indeed had the hand speed, but lacked any other knowledge of the game. After a decent enough victory, the young woman, who Chen Guo affectionately called “RouRou”, got up and seemed bored, stating Glory was “boring”. Wow, Ye Xiu thought. She knows nothing of Glory.

At Chen Guo’s scolding, she seemed rather unaffected until Chen Guo decidedly looked around and upon seeing him, grew far too ecstatic for his liking.

With a sigh, Ye Xiu sat down. He resisted the urge to bounce his leg repeatedly, knowing it would affect his performance, if only minimally.

“How about we make this interesting?” He asked Tang Rou when he’d finally ascertained her name and made sure he didn’t have to go easy on her. He picked out that crumpled box of cigarettes, hoping to get something out of this. Something he desperately needed.

“I don’t smoke. Here. Keep it simple. Let’s go.” She responded in that soft commanding voice of hers, placing a 100 Yuan note next to his cigarette box before getting ready.

Of course, the duel ended as expected, with Ye Xiu crushing her spectacularly in less than a minute.

In a matter of seconds after the match, Ye Xiu’s arrogance mask was in full force as he leisurely scolded her.

“Your mechanics are pretty fast; too bad you don’t know how to play. Your left- and right-hand coordination is a mess. Getting lost whenever you turn your camera view. Let’s not even talk about your battle tactics.” He blew into his hands, knowing that even though he’d have them shoved into his pockets until he sat down, they weren’t fully warmed up to playing Glory. He continued. “If you want to beat me, maybe practice another 100 years.”

If only he had this type of confidence when talking to Cui Li or Tao Xuan. It was true that outwardly, he didn’t seem to take their shit, but it was an entirely different matter to what he was feeling just beneath the surface.

“Hey, isn’t that too much?” Chen Guo was horrified, glancing between Tang Rou and Ye Xiu as if one or the other was about to start a riot in her internet café.

Taking the chance to play on her words, Ye Xiu spoke again. “It is a bit too much. 100 years is an exaggeration. Probably wouldn’t be that long..” He trailed off. It had eased his unsteady heart slightly to have adopted the persona of Captain once again. He didn’t mind it; really did keep the thoughts at bay.

Ye Xiu, having removed his card in preparation to retrieve his prize money to buy that oh so needed package of cigarettes, reached over to collect his bounty. Despite the distraction the match had given him and the Captain persona seemed to illicit, he still felt too unsteady overall. He really needed a cigarette to fully lock away those needling thoughts that were worming their way to his heart.

He expected to finally have that calming taste of nicotine on his tongue in just a few short moments, but what he didn’t expect was the hand to suddenly shoot out next to him and slam an additional bill onto the table.

Normally, he’d have willfully not reacted, but with his mind still swimming with the reminder of all that had happened and the state of hurt his body was constantly in, he withdrew his hand as if it had been pounded. He held the hand close to his chest with his other hand and stared at Tang Rou’s hand like it was a mallet.

Chen Guo saw this and looked over to Ye Xiu, noticing how is thin frame, obscured again by way too many layers, was rising and falling a lot more rapidly. His eyes seemed to have glazed over with a faraway look that pulled his thin lips into a frown that spoke volumes to the fear he was experiencing through the carefully reared reaction of supposed impassivity.

Chen Guo swallowed, a pang in her heart telling her that her assumptions had been correct. This man had been abused.

Tang Rou seemed to have noticed too. He eyes widening a fraction and she withdrew her hand. But Tang Rou was not one to draw such observations to light and instead doubled down on her insistence of a rematch.

At such insistence, Ye Xiu quickly snapped out of his terrified state, cleared his throat, and agreed.

They went multiple rounds, Tang Rou momentarily forgetting what she had witnessed while trying to beat him in every way she could find using hand speed alone. Ye Xiu happily welcomed the distraction, treating the battles as if he was a step closer to smoking that long needed cigarette; by ending them as fast as possible, but uniquely. Gotta keep things interesting after all.

When Tang Rou went to place another bill down but realized she was all out of money, she paused. Ye Xiu rose and began to count his winnings while Chen Guo dispersed the crowd that had gathered watching them and began to comfort Tang Rou after they’d left, insulting him a little. She really went too far in comforting Tang Rou in saying she could dominate Glory with her hand speed alone.

“Glory isn’t as simple as you think.”

Throwing this line down, Ye Xiu began to walk out, not forgetting to offer his Glory educational services.

Of course, he wouldn’t know until he returned that he had just sparked a major change in Tang Rou.

He’d look forward to it after a cigarette.

Walking out into the late afternoon light, Ye Xiu inhaled, trying to clear his remaining anxieties. Turning down the street, taking the sidewalk and walking carefully to not jostle his injuries, he headed to where he could buy his oh-so-precious nicotine sticks.

He found the fresh air quite nice for clearing his head, but it was probably more so that he had a specific goal in mind. He bought his cigarettes and stepped out to light one almost immediately.

As he inhaled, that bitterness coating his tongue and throat and lungs, he felt the drug enter his bloodstream and possibly beeline to his brain. Letting the feeling of mental numbness wash over him, Ye Xiu took another breath of the outside air and felt that it was much better like this, less suffocating somehow.

Once he’d finished, he ground the stub out against a wall and disposed of it properly. Realizing he really had extorted his new boss’ friend, he really shouldn’t spend all the money on cigarettes. He would get enough from his paycheck since room and board were covered.

He made his way back towards Excellent Era’s building and Happy Café, considering where to get some food from. McDonald’s was probably the best choice and there was one nearby for convenience of Happy Café selling some of their stuff.

He walked past the doorway into the Café and headed over to the restaurant. He had been feeling content with his lot in life as he continued on until he distinctly heard the slap of shoes on the ground headed towards him.

Instincts told him to get out of the way, but not for the reason most assumed. Yes, if someone heard a person rampaging towards them, it was best to get out of the way, but Ye Xiu had a feeling he wouldn’t like who he saw. Stepping quickly, he pressed himself against a wall, ducking his head in the hope that the person would go past him quickly and that it wasn’t who he thought it was. He didn’t know if he could handle any more abuse after being freed from it, even if for only a day.

Please please please don’t be Cui Li, and if it is, please please please don’t let him see me, Ye Xiu thought desperately.

The thundering footsteps stopped abruptly and Ye Xiu could feel his chest heaving in anticipation, unable to calm down fully.

“Mr. Ye..?” a quiet but determined voice inquired in a less than assertive tone. Ye Xiu let out a breath that sounded a bit like a laugh mixed with a sob. He turned around and came face to face with Qin Fu, one of the guards he’d managed to get hired to protect Mucheng.

“Mr. Qin. What a surprise. You certainly have a way of finding people.” Ye Xiu responded in false calm. Qin Fu, for his part, looked guilty. He had thought he’d seen Ye Xiu as he was about to enter Excellent Era’s building and knew he would likely not have many more chances to run into the man.

It was out of desperation that he had come thundering towards Ye Xiu, but he really should have known that someone who was used to people hitting him wouldn’t react well to a surprise visit by unknown persons and with the body language of an incoming fight or more accurately, a beating.

“I’m truly sorry for startling you! It was not my intention. I just… needed to speak with you, and you do not have a cellphone…” Qin Fu trailed off.

Ye Xiu smiled tightly. He didn’t want to have a phone. For one, He might be able to find him if he did. Then there was the possibility that Cui Li would also attempt to use it against him. If Cui Li had always known where Ye Xiu was, or could threaten him over the device, Ye Xiu wanted absolutely none of it. There was also the minor possibility that his family would find him, but he hoped that they’d have the sense to stay away after all this time.

“What did you need to talk to me about? Is Mucheng okay?” Despite the lack of a cellphone, he realized it would probably be beneficial if the protection detail he had on his little sister was able to get in contact with him. He really hadn’t thought of that. Oops.

“Ms. Su is perfectly fine! It’s not that.. it’s…”

“Hm?”

Qin Fu sighed, but steeled himself and straightened his back. “Yang Yinzhi and I came here of our own volition after hearing your plea. That being said, it is not in our nature to stand by and watch as people suffer. It is our job and our nature to help others. Therefore, I wanted to inform you that Yang Yinzhi and I will be conducting an internal investigation of our own with the intention of obtaining proof to help you in the off chance you decide to pursue things legally.”

Qin Fu was not arrogant nor overly confident. He just believed that there had to be something he could do and had resolved long ago to help in this way. However, there was maybe a little bit of a different intention behind the actions. Of course the two wished to help the man, and it certainly helped that he was actually in danger, but unbeknownst to Ye Xiu, there was a bit more motivation.

Qin Fu and Yang Yinzhi were originally from Tyranny. They had gotten in to guarding early in life and had spent the past 7 years trailing behind the pros at Tyranny. As a result, they had developed a somewhat close relationship with one Han Wenqing.

They wouldn’t dare go so far as to say that they were friends, but there was a mutual respect and comradery between the three. The guards were also much more observant than many people gave them credit for.

Han Wenqing often asked them to let him off on his own on occasion and they had obliged. Why had he needed to be on his own? Well of course, Qin Fu and Yang Yinzhi had to check he wasn’t going to get hurt so they had discreetly followed him once. What they found was that the resting-bitch-face-mob-boss-scariest-man-in-the-alliance, was on a date with none other than his “greatest rival” Ye Qiu!

The two had looked at one another and silently agreed to let the two have their peace. They never brought up what they saw, knowing there was a need for secrecy for a great many reasons which included, but were not limited to, the fact that homosexuality was frowned on in China, the “manly man” Han Wenqing was dating a man, was dating his rival, who the entirety of Tyranny’s fanbase hated, and they were public figures, even though one of them was faceless to the masses.

So, when that man had approached them at an event and seemed to be hinting at someone being abused, well, of course they wanted to help!

Han Wenqing didn’t seem pleased when they left even after finding suitable replacements and the two felt rather awkward giving their false statements of family issues arising as their reasoning to leaving. But they didn’t think it would be wise to just drop the allegations on Han Wenqing who sometimes lived up to his name of resting-bitch-face-mob-boss-scariest-man-in-the-alliance Han Wenqing. He’d likely get on a plane to HangZhou to tear everyone in Excellent Era a new asshole! Being professionals, Qin Fu and Yang Yinzhi intimately understood the need for discretion in such matters to allow for a smooth lawsuit to proceed.

Ye Xiu sighed. He should have expected such things from consummate professionals. He really had no other choice, did he?

“I cannot promise you that I will pursue legal action, so you may be putting yourselves at risk needlessly. If you are to do this, it is imperative that my connection with you two is not revealed. And your main goal is of course still protecting Mucheng. Please do not let your investigation get in the way of protecting my precious sister.”

Ye Xiu really just wanted to leave this conversation, even as Qin Fu stammered reassurances. Pulling out his cigarette package, Ye Xiu ripped a small piece off.

“You have a pen?” He asked. Qin Fu produced a sharpie from some jacket pocket and handed it to Ye Xiu. Quickly, and with his quite sloppy handwriting, Ye Xiu wrote down his QQ.

“You can message me here if anything happens to Mucheng and it can be where you send any and all evidence collected if, and only if, I decide to pursue legal action.”

Qin Fu nodded eagerly, already memorizing the name and number just in case he somehow lost the little piece of cardboard in the 30 seconds it would take to get to Excellent Era’s building.

With that done, Ye Xiu excused himself, feeling drained. Qin Fu wisely didn’t press his luck any more than he already had and retreated to start his shift, already preparing to hear a lecture from Yang Yinzhi for his tardiness.

Ye Xiu slipped down a small alleyway and fished out another cigarette, lighting and smoking it in quick succession until the thoughts of Cui Li were properly caged behind the wall of nicotine and Qin Fu’s resolution to investigate things was an issue for another day.

Thankfully, Ye Xiu was similar to Han Wenqing in the sense that when there was a clear goal, he didn’t back down. It usually just took a bit more convincing for Ye Xiu to find the goal worthwhile than it was for Han Wenqing. His goal of food for boss and the young lady he possibly just destroyed the confidence of was a goal worthwhile in his opinion in order to not get fired or reprimanded, so after stubbing out the cigarette he proceeded to the McDonald’s to fulfill his quest and collect his reward.

If only the quest could stop the continued pain radiating through him.

Maybe then he would have realized that he would have specified that Mucheng should be kept out of the guards’ investigation at all costs.

~~~~~

Back at Happy Café, just as Ye Xiu left, Tang Rou and Chen Guo sorted out the details of Tang Rou’s new Glory account. She was happily leveling up with Chen Guo watching over her shoulder and giving pointers Tang Rou sometimes listened to. After a while of relative silence, Tang Rou ventured into uncertain territory.

“GuoGuo, that guy…”

“Ye Xiu? I know he was rude, but he really is not all that bad of a guy. I kind of like him, in a sort of infuriating way.”

Tang Rou smiled at this. Never let it be said that Chen Guo couldn’t be honest with herself, she just preferred if the object of her honesty was nowhere within earshot when she admitted it.

“Mm. He is very good at Glory and seems to genuinely care about the game, and maybe even encouraging people to play? But…” She paused.

“He’s too thin!” Chen Guo suddenly blurted. Tang Rou turned to look at her.

“Er, I, uh, noticed when I was playfully hitting him last night while he played that he wears excessive layers, probably to cover up his very thin frame.” Chen Guo looked awkward.

“GuoGuo, do you think.. Do you think he’s been neglected or abused?”

Chen Guo breathed a sigh of relief that her friend had figured out where she was trying to go with this.

“Yes. He tensed up immensely whenever he thought I might hit him, and he really is far too thin to be healthy. It’s like he wasn’t taken care of or didn’t feel the need to take care of himself.”

“He flinched rather violently when I placed the money down during our betting matches.” Tang Rou added. “Someone who is wary of people’s ability to hurt them often flinch at loud noises and unexpected situations, especially touch.”

Of course, as a child of a wealthy family, Tang Rou had naturally been taught a great number of things. This was something that had stuck with her for a long time but had been placed in a dusty corner of her mind and didn’t find the need to surface until she looked at Ye Xiu.

“We have to protect him...” Chen Guo was resolute in this. She hardly knew the man, but this was just the type of person Chen Guo was.

“Mm.” Tang Rou responded simply, her resolve to protect him bursting forth despite not knowing much of Ye Xiu. This resolve was only second to her resolve to become better at Glory.

~~~~~

When Ye Xiu returned with food, Chen Guo was secretly delighted, if not a little miffed that he had used all of Tang Rou’s money to buy it all. Tang Rou quickly leveled until she was able to start catering her skills towards her class of choice. After declining becoming a launcher and instead picking battle mage, she was satisfied. Ye Xiu, recovered from his outing, offered his expertise as he came back in from smoking.

Ye Xiu fixed up the guides for Tang Rou’s use and was insulted by Chen Guo after he mentioned how records were meant to be broken. He smoked another cigarette.

Of course, his shift soon started and he immersed himself in stealing BOSSes and stumbling upon talented noobs to follow him like ducklings. Of course, Excellent Era under the guise of Excellent Dynasty breaking records he had secured for other guilds was troublesome. He felt a slight pang of anxiety when he’d thought about how Cui Li could be behind it but figured it’s a little beneath his area of expertise. This was likely Tao Xuan’s brainchild, or maybe one of the team members. Regardless, he’d just have to utilize the new people he seemed to have accidentally befriended to help him out.

His Myriad Manifestation Umbrella needed a great many materials, and in order to honor the memory of the person who left it, he wouldn’t take any chances with it. He continued on and noticed his surroundings only when Tang Rou came to check on him.

There was a gathering crowd of people to see the Excellent Era’s fight against 301 Degrees.

Of course, he joined Chen Guo in observing the people and the match, taking a break from playing. He offered his analysis and she scoffed at him, but he said to wait and see. He resumed his place at the front desk and continued to play. The power went out at the critical moment in the team match and the crowd dispersed to catch the ending where Excellent Era lost, true to Ye Xiu’s predictions. They called for repairs and got the power back up easily enough, but the Café was largely deserted.

Chen Guo checked the status of the match and found that Excellent Era had indeed lost the team match. She disappointedly went to bed. Despite being right, Ye Xiu didn’t feel gratified, and instead focused his efforts on watching and helping Tang Rou improve.

He was indeed focused on Tang Rou’s screen, so he certainly didn’t see the faces of the two people who had approached the counter. He even immediately asked how many were in their party to get them checked in, but when he saw their faces, he froze, and his eyes widened.

Liu Hao and Chen Yuhui stood before him, only one of which was aware of his existence.

~~~~~

As I lay me down to sleep, I pray the memories won’t find me. I’ve learned to suffer silently.

~~~~~

Chapter Text

~~~~~

I got a feeling I think you should know I’m trying to find hope, there’s nothing left to hold. I’m stuck down here in this hole; I’ll dig my way out.

~~~~~

It was obvious at a glance that Liu Hao was fucking wasted.

He had walked in supported by Chen Yuhui and bent over to put his head in his arms on the desk while eyeing Tang Rou with a lustful gaze.

“A beauty playing Glory?” Tang Rou looked up at him, already casting him from her mind by the way he spoke down to her.

Liu Hao laughed, clearly not taking the hint that she was entirely uninterested and complimenting her. “Little miss, you play well.”

“Thanks.” Tang Rou responded blankly, clearly upset at being distracted from her leveling and improving.

Liu Hao, being the obliviously drunk dumbass that he was, was dumbfounded.

“Huh, do you not recognize me?”

“Hm? Have we met before?”

“You-“ he was about to reply with something clearly very profoundly deep when Chen Yuhui finally seemed to come to his senses and tugged at Liu Hao’s sleeve.

“What?!” He exclaimed at Chen Yuhui in that nasally voice he was unable to suppress. Chen Yuhui indicated with his chin to Ye Xiu who was sitting next to Tang Rou.

“Do you want to check in?” Ye Xiu asked again, making direct eye contact with Liu Hao.

Most of the time, details like the way Liu Hao gulped and began to sweat would be overlooked, but even from behind her screen out of the corner of her eye, Tang Rou saw it.

“Yo~, isn’t this brother Ye? Senior is working as an Internet Café supervisor? This place isn’t half bad. How is it? How’s the pay? Can you afford your smokes?” Liu Hao was obviously fully aware of Ye Xiu’s habit, although the reason was lost on him entirely. Ye Xiu wasn’t cruel, far from it, but in the deepest depths of his mind and heart, sometimes he wished Liu Hao was the one who was experiencing the abuse Ye Xiu had endured. Or at the very least knew of all that Ye Xiu went through in order to protect the arrogant prat from harm and yet he remained ungrateful.

Pushing those less than considerate thoughts and feelings away, Ye Xiu responded with “I’m doing fine.” Hoping to leave it at that.

Tang Rou, who had kept one ear open to listen, turned to him and asked if these people were Ye Xiu’s friends.

Before Ye Xiu could even deign to reply, Liu Hao cut in.

“We wouldn’t dare. Brother Ye is way above me. We’re just his lackeys.”

Tang Rou narrowed her eyes at Liu Hao subtly. She didn’t believe that he thought himself below Ye Xiu. If anything, she could taste his superiority complex from here. She felt her heart tremble slightly at the thoughts forming in her mind at the type of relationship Ye Xiu had with the man she still didn’t know the name of.

Ye Xiu was clearly displeased with how Liu Hao put himself down for the sole reason that they could have been friends if Liu Hao had gotten over himself and actually played the game as if he was part of a team instead of a single player attempting to show off.

“Oh, scary!” Liu Hao commented at the frown on Ye Xiu’s face. “Brother’s expression means he’s going to lecture someone! Oh wait, I just remembered that Brother Ye is no longer the team leader.” His voice held traces of a sneer.

Tang Rou, having heard enough of the way he so casually treated Ye Xiu cruelly finally asked if the man was drunk. She had smelt the booze on him when he’d first come in, but now she intended to use it to her advantage. She also wanted these people away from Ye Xiu as soon as possible.

“Leave us alone pretty miss. This is personal.” Liu Hao certainly wasn’t treating her respectfully at all. Ye Xiu, knowing Tang Rou’s personality of not backing down from a fight, stood up to draw the twos attention onto him, directly against his better instincts.

“I lectured you a lot because you always made mistakes and disobeyed orders. If you didn’t want a lecture from me, you shouldn’t have kept making mistakes and instead gave me an opportunity to praise you, right?” Ye Xiu spoke with practiced nonchalance.

Tang Rou laughed at this, caught off guard by how someone could prevent a physical altercation with words. Or maybe he just provoked a physical altercation? Regardless, it was now aimed towards himself rather than Tang Rou.

Liu Hao was dismayed! The beauty had laughed at his expense!

“Hmph! Give you an opportunity? More like you should have given me an opportunity!”

Liu Hao slammed his palms down on the desk before Ye Xiu who’s only sign of fear was the way a single finger twitched at his side where only Tang Rou could see, and she noticed.

“You think you can keep pushing me down? I’m the vice-captain now! While you-“ Liu Hao raised his hand to jab a finger into Ye Xiu’s shoulder.

Again, only Tang Rou noticed the way his jaw clenched, and his eyes stared down at the floor, as if he was controlling himself. Not holding himself back from fighting physically per se, but from reacting to the touch.

“-are only a worthless supervisor.”

Ye Xiu finally met Liu Hao’s eyes, seeming to have gotten control of his reaction and dawning that mask of Captain Ye Qiu easily enough while Chen Yuhui cringed behind Liu Hao.

Tang Rou seemed to have forgotten that the original intention was to prevent an altercation between Ye Xiu and this drunkard. She hadn’t expected the man to lay a hand on Ye Xiu so publicly. She gaped and was trying to rein in her reactions when Ye Xiu took charge.

“How simple-minded.” He insulted, letting himself fish out a cigarette from his pocket to place in his mouth, lighting it. Yes, he used the cigarettes to hold back all the thoughts, but it also helped him adorn the mask of Captain with more ease and confidence than usual. It helped that the cigarette also pushed back the intrusive thoughts and memories to become the Captain his team needed and gave him a sort of meta-physical barrier between himself and Liu Hao’s antagonism.

Ye Xiu proceeded to chastise Liu Hao’s inability to warn Sun Xiang of 301 Degrees’ plan to raise his APM during the match.

Liu Hao was indignant. This man had no more rights to lecture him, yet here he was scolding him like a disobedient child. Ye Xiu called Liu Hao out for knowing their plan but not saying anything. Say what you like, Ye Xiu knew Liu Hao would have been able to see it. When it came to Glory, he wasn’t as dumb as he acted. Sometimes.

Ye Xiu extinguished his cigarette in the ashtray. “I held you back because you still had a lot to learn. Now that you’ve crawled your way up to your position, I wish you luck.”

Ye Xiu knew Liu Hao wouldn’t be able to handle all these responsibilities. He had spent too long blatantly disobeying orders and causing chaos and unrest that he likely forgot how to support his teammates legitimately. Ye Xiu didn’t want to see the dynasty he had built fall, but he lamented that this might be the only chance for anyone to learn any lessons without physical abuse.

Ye Xiu had had enough of those lessons to last a couple of lifetimes.

Taking advantage of Liu Hao’s momentary speechlessness, Ye Xiu pointed to the sign that said Happy Café reserved the right to refuse to serve those who were inebriated.

“Goodbye.” Ye Xiu said cheekily.

Liu Hao slammed his hands on the desk again, Ye Xiu made no outward sign of fear this time.

In order to avoid a full-on fight, Chen Yuhui recognized that now was the time to intervene. He pulled Liu Hao away from the desk, especially at Ye Xiu’s reminder that they were public figures.

Unable to express his rage on his true target, Liu Hao swiftly kicked the garbage can within reach of his foot hard, causing it to smash to the floor. The two Excellent Era members watched the garbage can and completely missed the way Ye Xiu’s shoulders rose as if preparing for a strike or wincing away from an unpleasant sensation.

“Just wait and see!” Liu Hao threw this phrase down and stomped out of the Café, Chen Yuhui trailing behind him like a pathetic kicked dog.

“Your former colleagues?” Tang Rou asked once they had cleared the door, confirming that Ye Xiu’s shoulders had relaxed before she inquired.

“Mm.”

“Are they going to trouble you again?”

“No. They’re celebrities. They can’t do anything in public, especially when not on their own turf.”

“I see.” Tang Rou paused, her fingers tapping the keys fluidly.

“Did they in the past?”

“What’s that?” Ye Xiu asked, confused, settling back into his chair beside her.

“Did they make trouble for you when you and they were on their own turf in the past?”

“Hmm. Define trouble.”

“Did they make your work difficult, or… did they physically hurt you?” Tang Rou felt a little out of her depth in approaching the topic of Ye Xiu’s, or anyone’s, abuse. She knew about it of course, but that didn’t mean she had experience in dealing with it.

Ye Xiu stared at her with slightly parted lips which he quickly pressed into a thin line. He pulled out another cigarette, his hands remaining steady despite his uneasiness in discussing this. After a drag, he paused to blow out the smoke.

“They made my job difficult, but they weren’t the ones who physically did anything to me.” It was far more than he’d admitted to anyone. It was tacit confirmation that there was someone in his life, at his work, that physically abused him. The very idea sent a cold chill through Tang Rou. She could tell it extended far beyond physical abuse, but also mental and emotional. The two that had been in here had likely not been part of the direct abuse, but they certainly weren’t part of the solution. They probably made things difficult for Ye Xiu at work which resulted in the other party taking advantage of their antics to wreak havoc on Ye Xiu physically and more.

The reasoning of Ye Xiu’s thin frame seemed to come to Tang Rou. He didn’t care about himself.

He had put up with abuse for who knew how long, and probably thought that he didn’t deserve to be taken care of or worried over. His next statement only confirmed this.

“You don’t need to worry about me. Focus on Glory.” He instructed her to pick her class and come find him in game, effectively closing the discussion from any further prying.

Tang Rou honestly didn’t blame him for avoiding such nagging question and obeyed his request to come join him for the Frost Forest record. She’d experience the contrast in his persona in real life and in game as they played and despite the sadness of the thought, understood why no one had noticed the pain Ye Xiu was in.

He was a better actor than anyone gave him credit for, and his coping mechanisms were almost hard wired into him at this point.

~~~~~

Before he’d gone to sleep the night before, Ye Xiu had an inkling that he’d need some help in the game. It certainly didn’t come as a surprise that he would, what with Excellent Era’s team members essentially hating his guts, but it was annoying.

Mucheng had consistently messaged him since he’d left, but he hadn’t deigned to respond to them, nor anyone. It was rather normal for him, but if Chen Guo and Tang Rou knew that there were people reaching out to him and he refused to talk to them to protect them, well, they’d think it incredibly sad.

Regardless, Mucheng had already told him straight that she would be joining him on the tenth server after Excellent Era’s match and Ye Xiu could do nothing to dissuade her.

If he tried, he’d likely have to reveal the terms of the contract Cui Li had him sign.

He couldn’t reveal the information, but Mucheng associating with him in any way directly violated one of the clauses. Ye Xiu reasoned that as long as Cui Li didn’t find out, it would be fine, but he still felt his heartrate increase whenever he let himself dwell on such thoughts.

Ye Xiu regaled Mucheng with tales of meeting these new people and she didn’t seem surprised, just a little melancholy at how he’d been regressed to such a level even if Ye Xiu didn’t necessarily mind.

If only she knew to just what state Cui Li could regress him to, then she’d know that this state was not even comparable.

They beat the record, but Ye Xiu had no doubt that Excellent Era could beat it since their equipment wasn’t adequate to what a major guild could acquire for the sake of some smurf accounts. They’d need to set a very extraordinary record in order to allow him to continue his ventures of man for hire in order to collect materials, so he set his sights on Boneyard.

Mucheng stayed on later than he thought she would, and she continued to appear on the tenth server almost every night, and he felt like maybe the world hadn’t and maybe wouldn’t entirely come crashing down around him despite his best efforts as long as he had some proximity to her.

~~~~~

Liu Hao was the type of person who liked to think he was all suave and sly and cunning but really, he was just an idiot through and through.

He swaggered into Lord Grim’s DM’s as if he was some godsend noob like Ye Xiu seemed to pick up. Of course, within seconds, Ye Xiu knew exactly what was going on. Of course, Ye Xiu was exactly the opposite of Liu Hao. He was cunning and suave and sly when he needed to be, and he let Liu Hao think he had the upper hand in the whole situation. They beat the record and Ye Xiu smiled guilelessly at the impending shitstorm as he knew Liu Hao would take this directly to the rest of his little rodent followers and use it to boost Excellent Dynasty.

Too bad he forgot he had a match on this particular day.

He truly had thought too highly of himself! Practicing an entirely different class for days and then going back to his pro account? Of course he’d suck! It was a little funny in Mucheng’s professional opinion. She immediately told her two new best friends in Excellent Era, Qin Fu and Yang Yinzhi. They trailed her like it was their goddamn job and she intended to become close with them. She knew they had some deeper motive, and she could clearly guess that Ye Xiu had sent them to watch over her. She didn’t bring this up, but she kept an ear out for any news because she had an inkling that something else was wrong and had been for a while.

~~~~~

After Blue Rain destroyed Excellent Era in their match, Ye Xiu took another risk and reached out to one Huang Shaotian. Again, this violated a contract clause, but Ye Xiu had been receiving messages from the Sword Saint on and off for a while now and if he knew the man well enough, he knew he’d never leave well enough alone until he’d inserted himself into the situation personally.

Liu Hao, probably just off from being scolded by Tao Xuan, had come on spitefully to steal the record with his Excellent Dynasty and then slunk back onto Hateful Sword and had the audacity to ask why their record wasn’t good enough. Ye Xiu, of course, mercilessly insulted him and then exposed him to his face causing Liu Hao to panic and retreat. Ye Xiu could definitely see how Cui Li got off on holding power over others… He shuddered at the thought. He didn’t want power over others, he just wanted to play games and be his best at anything he did. If someone came to slap him in game, his persona told him to slap back. He really had nothing to lose in game. It was in real life that he found himself with everything to lose. He couldn’t fight back then. His minor rebellions like interacting with other people in the pro circle was only a minor offence in the grand scheme of things. This was in no way a rebellion, more like conceding he had no other options to keep moving forward.

When a scarf-clad Huang Shaotian showed up in front of Happy Internet Café, his appearance immediately set off alerts in Tang Rou’s mind. She didn’t want to doubt Ye Xiu when he said that those guys wouldn’t come back and make trouble but seeing the sketchy person, all bets could be off.

“There was a weird guy at the door.” She said when Ye Xiu asked why she’d called out to someone.

“Forget about him and go log in!” Ye Xiu responded. Tang Rou looked at him, then back at the door. “What if he came to…”

“He didn’t.”

“He wasn’t the one?”

“He wasn’t. Now go.”

“Alright. See you in game.” Her implicit trust of his word was both worrying and reassuring.

Maybe she had too much faith in his words or maybe she believed that Ye Xiu would show some outward sign of fear if the person, who she knew he definitely saw, was the person who hurt him.

She scampered off to follow his request, keeping Ye Xiu in the corner of her eye. The man looked harmless even after he lowered his scarf and the way Ye Xiu treated him like a petulant child all but confirmed the type of person Huang Shaotian really was.

Ye Xiu led them to a private room to which Huang Shaotian began to ask repeatedly if it was safe. Ye Xiu only sounded half joking when he said relax. He could never put too much weight in the feeling of safety anymore. It was something he couldn’t take for granted for a second.

Shaotian began to run his mouth, spewing words quickly. Of course, after a string of them, he inevitably turned the topic onto why Ye Xiu retired.

This question would probably always cause his ribs to ache and stomach to clench. The bruises had yet to fade, but they weren’t nearly as bad as they once were. He just hoped Huang Shaotian wasn’t so observant to notice how carefully controlled Ye Xiu’s breathing was to prevent further pain and damage.

When Ye Xiu turned the topic back to Boneyard’s record and Huang Shaotian saw the insane time, he proceeded to make fun of Ye Xiu as if he was a no lifer. Ye Xiu couldn’t really argue. His ears were ringing from the chatter already and the mention of his retirement had brought forth that funny little feeling of intrusive thoughts, so he excused himself to grab a cigarette.

Of course, they beat the record with ease with Huang Shaotian chattering all the while, assaulting Ye Xiu with questions about his unspecialized character, only offset by Steamed Bun’s equally obnoxious singing.

Eventually, it was finally time for Huang Shaotian to leave. He came to the front desk where Ye Xiu had migrated in order to help customers as was his job.

“Hey, don’t be too rude! I’ve been talking to you this whole time, but you’ve been ignoring me!”

“Alright, what were you saying?”

“Duel me! PKPKPK!”

Ye Xiu gave his excuses, setting a drink down that he had been carefully consuming.

When he was at Excellent Era, his meals were once paid for. After season 4 though, Cui Li forbade him from getting food for free. He wasn’t earning enough to afford full groceries along with supporting other expenses he racked up in general just from refusing the alliance rules and helping others, so more often than not he wouldn’t eat. Mucheng often got him portions, saying to the kitchen staff that were woefully ignorant that he just forgot to take care of himself. He survived most days on the generosity of the staff and Mucheng. Of course, Ye Xiu earned extra beatings whenever Cui Li caught wind of this, so more often times than not he’d find some excuse to refuse Mucheng and stayed relatively fed through cheap energy bars and cup noodles. He also ate less meals in general. As a result, he seemed to have trained his body to reject extensive portions of food and suppress his hunger. He had looked up a few guides on reacquiring proper nutrition habits and retraining his body to respond and he was carefully following it, although modifying it to meet his needs.

Of course, his motivation wasn’t so much to live, but to have more energy to play Glory and heal his wounds for the same reason.

Too bad no matter how much he ate his mental scars would always remain. And a few physical ones.

Huang Shaotian eyed his drink, possibly noting something in the back of his mind, but instead of mentioning it he said, “Why did you retire? It’s not like you can’t play anymore.”

Ye Xiu sighed as that pang returned and he swallowed, his mouth dry despite having just drank something. He gave Tao Xuan’s quoted reason for kicking him out; The team wasn’t doing well so the Captain takes full responsibility. Of course, his lack of sponsorship deals was truly the main culprit on Tao Xuan’s front, but the less he said, the less Huang Shaotian said in return.

Huang Shaotian went off about how it was all Liu Hao’s fault, likely having heard it from Yu Wenzhou whenever Liu Hao had noticeably sabotaged Ye Xiu in matches. He insulted Liu Hao’s face. Across the street, Liu Hao sneezed.

“When did you learn to read faces?” Ye Xiu asked, feeling a little more playful at Huang Shaotian’s indignance.

“I didn’t come up with it, Wang Jiexi said it first.” Ye Xiu paused. Thinking about it, he was rather surprised Wang Jiexi had said anything. It wasn’t like the pros had all that many group chats. Maybe Wang Jiexi and Yu Wenzhou were in contact, and Huang Shaotian saw from his Captain’s messages.

Ye Xiu resolved to check the Master Tacticians group chat later, but he failed to recall that Wang Jiexi wasn’t considered a Master Tactician and wasn’t in the group chat. Of course, he took the opportunity to insult Wang Jiexi’s uneven eyes. He had to keep up appearances of confidence after all.

He didn’t really need to fake this one though. It was a long running joke amongst older pros, made all in good fun as an acknowledgement of the man’s prowess and clinging to any imperfection to make the serious junior laugh.

When Huang Shaotian persisted on the topic of retirement, Ye Xiu asked if he should have stayed on as a training partner. Huang Shaotian, for his part, wasn’t daft and clearly understood that Excellent Era was trying to get rid of him. He even suggested the Ye Xiu transferred to another club.

This was when any joviality was removed from Ye Xiu. “And what would happen to Mucheng?” He wasn’t asking strictly in terms of her options for playing Glory professionally, but also the guarantee that had he left her there without making this deal, Cui Li would have gotten to her.

“When does her contract end?” Huang Shaotian asked once he confirmed that Mucheng would have cancelled her contract if he did.

“In a year and a half from now.”

Huang Shaotian sputtered on the drink Ye Xiu had given him. This guy! He intended to come back!

He said as such to Ye Xiu who paused. He deflected the insults Huang Shaotian threw about his APM dropping but was contemplative of the whole thing.

His intentions had been to get Mucheng out of there safely and preserve her reputation. Breaking a contract for such reasons as “the Captain was leaving” was unprofessional and knowing Tao Xuan and Cui Li’s cruel streaks, it wouldn’t stay confidential. Also, people could put two and two together. And then there was the whole deal with Cui Li beating Ye Xiu and threatening Mucheng to him. He didn’t know if Cui Li intended for his mandatory absence period to be up the same time Mucheng’s contract ended, but he could only assume there was some sort on contingency plan in place. Ye Xiu really wanted to return, to have a fresh start in a place that he wasn’t considered less than garbage, but both bosses had wanted him as far removed from the pro scene as humanly possible.

Despite the pains, the abuse, the shame, the everything that caused him to smoke, to want to throw himself out windows, he still held on to that tiny sliver of hope in his heart that things would get better.

They had to get better somehow, and Ye Xiu was not sure how he was going to make things better, but he would. One step at a time. For now, he had a character to level up, and Mucheng to watch out for. From afar of course.

“You.. Make sure you come back!” Huang Shaotian threw this down as he was about to leave.

Ye Xiu felt a slight swell of warmth. Someone did want him to return.

“Of course.” Ye Xi responded with more confidence than he truly felt. With that, Huang Shaotian left.

Ye Xiu watched him go before pulling open his QQ to check the Master Tacticians group chat before he really did realize that Wang Jiexi wasn’t in there. Then it was likely a personal message between Yu Wenzhou and Wang Jiexi. His mouse hovered over the exit button while his eyes drifted to a certain name in his contact list.

Han Wenqing’s name on Ye Xiu’s QQ was simply Wenqing <3. It didn’t seem like much, and to most others they would assume it was some sort of weird tradition they had as rivals or something, but really, it was exactly as it looked.

Ye Xiu knew that he’d been distancing himself from Wenqing for a good while, maybe even since Cui Li first hit him after their loss in season 4 to Tyranny, but no matter how much he tried to distance himself from the man, he always found himself falling right back into his grasp.

Han Wenqing looked stern, but he was gentle. He acted tough, but he was a big softie. He acted like they were rivals when really, they were lovers. Despite these setbacks, Han Wenqing had remained loyal and thoughtful, respecting Ye Xiu’s boundaries but also pushing them just enough to show that he was ready willing and able to support him.

But Ye Xiu had alienated him. He read Han Wenqing’s message.

Wenqing <3: Just say something, don’t leave me here with nothing. I know I deserve more than this.

He’s right… Ye Xiu thought.

Han Wenqing was the one steady aspect of his life for the past forever. When he had just found a new family in Su Muqiu and Su Mucheng, there was this rock that came tumbling down a mountain and into his life and hadn’t stepped out since.

Han Wenqing would pester Ye Xiu to eat more, even going so far as to feed him. He would take Ye Xiu’s hand when they could get away with it and covered Ye Xiu with his jacket on more than one occasion. He was the first person Ye Xiu had ever kissed, and the only one he’d done anything even remotely sexual with. Han Wenqing listened to him complain and offered support or advice and teased him all the while. It was a perfect symphony of love and character.

Their love had character. It wasn’t mushy, but able to be melded into different shapes. It wasn’t burning hot; it was simmering intensity.

Ye Xiu reveled in it, almost basked in the attention. But Cui Li had begun to corrupt him, making Han Wenqing’s touches a source of fear. It was just the unexpected touches. Ye Xiu longed to be cuddled to sleep in Wenqing’s strong, safe arms every night since they’d met face to face. Ye Xiu had buried these feelings so deep for the sake of Mucheng that he couldn’t fathom it all that much anymore and Han Wenqing, having persisted through all the trials and tribulations Ye Xiu threw at him without explanation, deserved way more than a solid goodbye with an equal lack of explanation.

He deserved more but Ye Xiu couldn’t give it. He’d probably never get over the irrational fear that something might happen to Han Wenqing like it would to Mucheng. He silently wished he hadn’t taken the two guards from Tyranny just to know that Han Wenqing had an extra layer of security.

As he was about to close the window, another message popped up.

Wenqing <3: Please come back. Whatever I’ve done, I’m sorry. I love you.

Ye Xiu’s lips thinned as he pressed them tightly together, feeling his breathing rate surge into hyperventilation in an instant. He quickly closed the window without responding, fighting back tears and mentally berating himself for his weakness. You think you deserve to be loved by this man? All you’ve ever done is lie to him and make things difficult. The man hardly questioned the sudden lack of sex in the relationship, and you’re pushing your luck too far now. You think he doesn’t have a breaking point? He’ll hurt you too.

Ye Xiu squeezed his eyes shut to try and recenter himself in the moment. His gaze strayed back over to the QQ icon and lingered there for longer than he wanted them to.

He would come back, but when he did… he likely wouldn’t be welcomed by Han Wenqing’s open arms ever again.

~~~~~

Wang Jiexi, on the whole, was largely considered (by most other pros) to be unofficially a part of the Master Tacticians.

When mentioning the 4 people who were well known to have high class strategies within matches, Wang Jiexi sometimes fell a little short, but his specialties laid more so in the real world, specifically, the people on his team.

He had a way of finding the best ways to encourage teamwork and ability and could accurately predict people’s actions based on past present and future circumstances. He would never claim to understand people’s psychology as well as Yu Wenzhou did, but he was at least quite confident in his abilities as a whole and his judge of character was top notch. He was able to get along with most anyone and didn’t take jabs to heart. He was considered one of the Alliance’s most approachable seniors, unfathomably to him. He knew he seemed cold because of his calculating nature, but behind all that he was indeed considerate.

Unfortunately, because of his tendency to think too deeply, he sometimes missed surface details that others easily picked up on. He was a little slower on the uptake.

When the server 10 guild leader hesitantly approached Wang Jiexi about an expert, he was cautious in his assessment. He was similar to Zhang Xinjie in his desire to be certain before acting. He had heard about the man who was in charge of server 10’s Tiny Herb guild, and his initial assessment was that the man was shy in person but confident ernough in game.

None of his assessments were made cruelly, it was purely practical. He was worried that this Plantago Seed was perhaps a bit overzealous in labeling Lord Grim as an expert. It wasn’t until he was showed the dungeon records that Wang Jiexi was slightly more confident that Plantago Seed was correct. Despite his shy nature, the guild leader didn’t hesitate to display knowledge of the game that led him to the conclusion he presented to Wang Jiexi.

Wang Jiexi could never be overly cautious.

When Wang Jiexi requested to use the man’s account to test out this expert, Plantago Seed happily complied. When Wang Jiexi found that the key setup for each shortcut and skill activation sequence was entirely identical to his own, he clearly understood that Plantago Seed was a bit of a fanboy.

However, this perfect replication of his setup made him sad. There may be other setups that could allow Plantago Seed a bit more room to grow, but instead he stubbornly stuck to the style the God he worshipped used. He wished he might try and find his own way instead of trying to copy him. He felt bad that Plantago Seed was quite stuck in his ways considering Wang Jiexi’s own setup was a bit complicated.

But he had greater priorities than someone copying him (and really, the flattery was appreciated) Namely, Gao Yingjie and now, finding out who Lord Grim was the more pressing of matters.

Whatever Wang Jiexi thought of the replica setup, it certainly made it easier for him to navigate the low leveled account on the 10th server in attacking Lord Grim.

It was this attack however, that ultimately shocked him to his core.

Attacking Lord Grim summoned the combined attack force of many people, two of which immediately stood out to him. The brawler, although uncoordinated and confusing, had strong APM and definitely threw him for a loop while the battle mage was an almost exact simulation of none other than God Ye Qiu’s infamous battle mage.

Even from a short battle, it was easy to tell she was still coming into her class, but it only showed how absolutely terrifying she would be in the future as even throughout the battle she showed signs of fluidity that would allow her to be melded into a spectacular player and daunting opponent.

But Lord Grim was the main concern. When Wang Jiexi ambushed him, it was akin to suddenly being forced into a scenario of uncertainty. He could feel it in his hands and bones that he knew exactly who this was, yet it was incredibly brutal to experience, especially with such a low leveled account.

As he backed away, he knew he’d been seen through as his own style was unique enough to be devised, and especially by Ye Qiu of all people.

Of course, he withdrew, not intending to cause problems for the guild or the guild leader if he got killed now.

Wang Jiexi stood up and of course, offered to sign something of the guild leader’s. He then carefully explained each person’s strengths and characteristics, suggesting with almost but not quite definite certainty, that Lord Grim was Ye Qiu.

An idea was already forming in his head as he left after dropping this revelation.

Ye Qiu, to the older players in Glory, was known for more than just his fighting skills and tactical prowess. He was known as an amazing teacher and nurturer. If the new players he had surrounded himself with were any indication, he was indeed a great teacher even if Wang Jiexi hadn’t experienced his teaching methods himself. However, he had had matches with the man that he would consider eye-opening.

Wang Jiexi would go as far as to call him unbeatable. What better way to improve than to send those people learning to experience firsthand the meaning of what it was to be at the summit.

Mind made up, he fingered the 10th server account cards he’d acquired while making his way to the training room. He turned a corner and saw Qiao Yifan purchasing water for his teammates. Wang Jiexi stopped before he was seen and observed.

Qiao Yifan was one who had a rather delicate looking constitution, and his mental fortitude was average. The problem was, although talented, he didn’t seem to excel. Wang Jiexi knew he could, but it would require more effort on his part, and with him training Gao Yingjie at every chance, it was only natural that the one who showed the least potential was going to be the one given the least time. He felt badly about this and he really did try to offer more, but there were times it just didn’t work out.

The others of course suffered too, but none so severely as Qiao Yifan. Wang Jiexi knew that his treatment of Qiao Yifan had unfortunately trickled down onto the other trainees too. Although he noticed a little later than he’d like to admit.

The sight of Qiao Yifan’s thin frame brought unbidden memories to his mind. Of course he called Ye Qiu unbeatable, but the man behind the character was one of the most delicate looking individuals Wang Jiexi had seen.

Not to say the man didn’t look strong or intimidating, but rather so nonchalant it was concerning because anyone with a bit of insight could tell that he was too thin to be entirely healthy. It was as if Ye Qiu simply didn’t notice or didn’t care that he was underweight and could possibly be taken down by a strong gust of wind. It was even more concerning when he faced off with none other than the most notoriously fit player in the alliance, Han Wenqing.

Wang Jiexi had a healthy respect for Han Wenqing for the simple fact of being able to face Ye Qiu so forcefully. Although he lacked some refinement in tactics, he held his ground which was more than many of the new pro players could safely say.

Wang Jiexi emerged from his musings when Qiao Yifan disappeared into the training room. Wang Jiexi waited a moment before entering.

He surveyed the room and noted Qiao Yifan’s sullen expression. He’d make sure to talk to the boy after training. The fact that Qiao Yifan was so considerate made him wide open to possible bullying especially considering the personalities of some of the other rookies. He quickly called for Gao Yingjie.

Having handed the account cards to the boy, he watched them get distributed appropriately before leaving.

Of course, Wang Jiexi went to attend to other matters, allowing the reserve team to try their hand at defeating Lord Grim.

The whole battle, all the players were thoroughly suppressed. Xiao Yun, the arrogant battle mage, consistently tried to show off only to have his face slapped. Zhou Yebai as shot caller led, but he wasn’t able to do anything against the might of Lord Grim. He and Liu Fei had been in official matches and when fighting Lord Grim and his subordinates, well, they didn’t feel like pros. Even Gao Yingjie who was quite powerful was hardly able to do anything. Qiao Yifan was distinctly left out of the tactics in the beginning and then got yelled at for not helping. All 4 players were thrown into an encirclement and destroyed effortlessly by Soft Mist and Lord Grim as well as Steamed Bun Invasion and even Sleeping Moon and Seven Fields.

When they logged off, they all went to sleep, crushed and apprehensive. All except Qiao Yifan who knew he had no prospects and was likely to be kicked off the team soon anyways. He only put up with all the bullying Xiao Yun specifically doled out which Zhou Yebai tacitly let pass and Liu Fei stood by and watched for the small chance that he might find a place in another team if he stuck with it. Gao Yingjie was entirely too oblivious to notice what exactly was happening to his friend.

The next day, the four returned but Wang Jiexi was there. He questioned them on how it went and after listening to Xiao Yun make himself seem like a hero, distinctly ignored him and asked Gao Yingjie for a proper analysis.

Gao Yingjie said Lord Grim was very strong. As such, Wang Jiexi said that they would be returning to the game to attempt to defeat Lord Grim but with his help. He also made sure to reveal that he believed, with 80% certainty, that Lord Grim was Ye Qiu.

They continued to practice, Qiao Yifan sharing the recordings he took with Wang Jiexi.

That night, the reserves along with the main roster of Tiny Herb, all 11 of them, got account cards (the reserves already having theirs from the night before) and logged onto the game. They waited until Lord Grim was on, heard he was alone, and then planned to have a Group Arena with him.

After Wang Jiexi started ordering people up, Ye Xiu, who at first was distracted talking to Chen Guo, immediately knew what they were planning. He asked them if they were intending to do a Group Arena and when Wang Jiexi confirmed it, he suggested a Team Competition instead. When the two that first attacked him tried again, he defeated them before recovering his mana with potions and laughing.

Ye Xiu mentally traumatized Team Tiny Herb by saying they had no experience in fighting him, and Wang Jiexi realized that his plan to use a God to train had ended in disaster. He had thought Ye Qiu would be welcoming of them, even a tiny bit. He realized in order to gain even a bit of confidence back for his team, they’d have to fight as a unit.

They all encircled Lord Grim and attacked, Ye Xiu noting the assassin Ashen Moon’s quite accurate sense of timing before he got away and directly logged off. He wasn’t in the mood to be a training partner! He had been being used for so many years now, why would he be used by these people too?

Thinking of a plan, he logged onto Tang Rou’s account and began to fight the team, but really was letting Tang Rou do so while coaching her. He liked teaching people, and Tang Rou was someone he would consider almost a friend, so he was more inclined to help her than these freeloaders.

After defeating Xiao Yun with a bit of effort on Tang Rou’s part, Ye Xiu just straight up suggested the arena. It was way more convenient and would allow him to enact his plan. He convinced Wang Jiexi by considering the limited time they a pro team had and probably would benefit from not playing hide and seek with him. He also added the condition that they had to fight Tang Rou first. He knew this was a good way to train her. She was the type to get more motivated after a defeat.

He logged back onto Lord Grim and told Tiny Herb to “Find Him Next Door” after defeating Tang Rou. They entered but didn’t immediately start battle because it was a gambling match, and they didn’t have the materials. After consulting Plantago Seed and receiving the materials, the players began to go up to fight, Ye Xiu swiftly beating them whilst trash talking all the while. Each person of course had to defeat Tang Rou beforehand, but it wasn’t too difficult for most of them.

Ye Xiu went through most everyone, even Wang Jiexi. They spoke, Ye Qiu trash talking until Wang Jiexi asked the point. At the reminder of Tiny Herb’s loss to Blue Rain due to Huang Shaotian’s trash talk, he finally understood. They began the match and fought.

In order to not lose materials, Ye Xiu carefully fought to end in a draw. It was difficult for Wang Jiexi to keep up on such a low leveled account, but it wasn’t too bad overall. He knew that Ye Qiu was likely trying to help boost the team’s morale too. Wang Jiexi had seen how they were discussing things during and after the matches with each other and was proud. It was refreshing to see that his initial assumption hadn’t been wrong, just the way he went about it was.

As the extremely cautious person he was, second only to Zhang Xinjie, he went and battled Tang Rou.

Qiao Yifan came up to fight Lord Grim and Ye Xiu recognized him. He suggested a class change with the consideration of his skills in team situations. He could be an amazing support!

Even though Qiao Yifan lost, with encouraging words from Ye Xiu, he found he had gained a lot more confidence. He too was a pro player! All the bullying he had endured up until now finally had another purpose and he knew he would be able to continue on and push through any more for the fact that this highly respected Senior and God believed him able to.

Before they all left, Wang Jiexi looked everyone in the eye as he spoke, encouraging the team members to continue their nightly training with Ye Qiu. His gaze lingered longest on Qiao Yifan, who had a fire in his eyes brighter than Wang Jiexi had ever seen before. At least he could guarantee that no matter what was thrown at him now, Qiao Yifan would persist.

Soon after, they all logged off and went to bed in high spirits. It wasn’t until Wang Jiexi was alone in the room that he quietly logged back onto the account. He found Ye Qiu still in the arena, talking with Tang Rou as it hadn’t been too long since Tiny Herb had finished their matches.

He approached Ye Qiu, both of them having entered the non-gambling room. Soft Mist nodded to him and then indicated she was going to go leveling. Ye Qiu nodded and turned to Wang Jiexi.

Wang Jiexi was someone who was unexpected both in play style and in real life. He did random things like pull his team into the online game for training and also was known as the Magician for his unexpected fighting style. It was also unexpected of him to have returned to the game and Ye Xiu waited patiently for whatever it was, but knew he would directly leave the match if he tried to fight him without the betting enabled.

“Good Game.” Wang Jiexi offered, indicating their earlier duel and draw. Ye Qiu laughed.

“Not bad yourself. Say, I have a question for you.”

“Oh?”

“That little assassin.”

“What about him?”

“He’s not being bullied, is he?”

Wang Jiexi paused. “Not more than he can handle.”

Ye Qiu hummed.

“Senior?” Wang Jiexi suddenly started calling Ye Qiu with respect.

“I’ll take your word for it.” Ye Qiu said in a tone that said he definitely didn’t take his word for it. “No one deserves to be in an environment where their safety is at risk. It opens them up to being used.”

Wang Jiexi paused, recalling how Qiao Yifan had gathered water for people to be helpful but looked melancholy straight after. How Qian Yifan had been deliberately left out of the original tactics when attacking Lord Grim the first day after watching the recordings. He knew the others looked down on the boy, and he himself was stretched too thin to give more than passing appreciation of the boy. It was too bad, because Qiao Yifan could excel. He may have been fighting Tang Rou at the time, but he kept an ear opened and listened to Qiao Yifan’s side of the conversation between him and Ye Qiu. He felt that Ye Qiu could give the boy the courage he needed, and Wang Jiexi failed to give him.

Deflecting, Wang Jiexi asked, “And what about you, Senior? We are using you to train.”

Ye Qiu laughed mirthlessly. “I’m used to being used. At least in this situation I’m gaining something as well.”

Wang Jiexi sucked in a quiet but sharp breath. All the observations he’d made about Ye Qiu’s physical constitution from before, Excellent Era’s team member’s sabotage, suddenly, it all seemed to click into place and a feeling of a rug being pulled from under his feet made Wang Jiexi fear he might choke.

“Senior, you…” but Ye Qiu interrupted.

“Oh, look at the time! I’ve gotta go dungeon to level up! Another night.” Lord Grim decisively quit the match.

Wang Jiexi exited with a sigh and signed off.

Walking out of the practice room, Wang Jiexi headed towards his room. When he arrived, he immediately pulled up QQ and sent a message. Wang Jiexi wasn’t a part of the Master tacticians, and wasn’t nearly as close as they were, but he was indeed professionally close with them, and would always say that him and Yu Wenzhou were friends despite Tiny Herb’s and Blue Rain’s rivalry. They were quite similar, minus of course the crippled hand speed.

It was because they were friends, and because Yu Wenzhou was likely closer to Ye Qiu than he himself was, that Wang Jiexi sent him such a cryptic message.

Vaccaria (Wang Jiexi): Do you think Ye Qiu is okay?

Because Ye Qiu was right. There was a fine line between how much was enough to be handled and how much was too much and could lead down dark paths.

Wang Jiexi himself knew that the others called him Big-eyed Wang to provoke him, but they were actually friends, and it was said jovially more than harshly. But Wang Jiexi knew all too well the effects of even one truly cruel insult.

He resolved to keep a closer eye on Qiao Yifan as he drifted off to an uneasy sleep while contemplating how best to protect the young boy and also see if there was really someone Ye Qiu needed protection from too.

~~~~~

Liang Yichun, also known as Changing Springs, also known as Blue Brook’s Guild leader, after witnessing Poplar Beach’s embarrassing defeat, had no other choice but to approach their Team’s pro players for answers.

Yu Wenzhou welcomed him politely and he immediately brought up that some experts suddenly appeared in the 10th server, holding the dungeon records hostage.

Huang Shaotian was standing up but after hearing this, felt suddenly panicked. He’d been involved I’m this! He hadn’t told his Captain! It was too shameful to run to an Internet café to help one of their mortal enemies beat some normal players in a dungeon. He conveniently forgot that it was Excellent Era’s main roster that they were defeating but regardless. In a moment of panic as he stood he tripped and fell back into his chair with a crash.

Ignoring Huang Shaotian who immediately tried to pull Liang Yichun into eating or something or other, sat down at a computer with the tenth server account card he was given. With a slightly devious smile, Yu Wenzhou asked Huang Shaotian to come take a look too.

Huang Shaotian was uncharacteristically quiet as he approached. He threw down some sentences to not appear overly suspicious.

Hung Shaotian exclaimed at how incredible the records were, and Yu Wenzhou asked him how these records could have been made.

Liang Yichun answered their questions, indicating that Lord Grim was the key character who was unspecialized. When he described the weapon, Yu Wenzhou became very interested. They looked at the other fixed members while also looking at Excellent Dynasty’s players. Yu Wenzhou easily remembered how terribly Liu Hao had played in their match together and said it was because the players who set the record were actually the main roster for Excellent Era, or at least most of them and some reserves.

Obviously, Liang Yichun was stunned! Why would Excellent Era send these people for such a low leveled dungeon?

Yu Wenzhou said the record wasn’t normal and directly asked Huang Shaotian what he thought.

Huang Shaotian pondered it and probably would have come to the same conclusion he did now with a bit more time, but he had inside information and concluded that it was a new strategy very quickly.

Yu Wenzhou suggested Liu Hao had stolen a strategy when Liang Yichun suggested that Liu Hao had spent so much time researching a new method and that’s why he played so badly.

He continued, saying that the new strategy appeared three times. Once with Lord Grin’s team where Liu Hao as Hateful Sword joined, once by Excellent Dynasty, and then again with Lord Grim’s team with Flowing Tree, a Blade Master, to replace Hateful Sword.

Huang Shaotian immediately called this a novel’s plot. Too unbelievable! He couldn’t just say that one thing though. He forged onwards calling Liu Hao crazy for putting in so much effort into a low-level dungeon for no reason.

Yu Wenzhou hummed. He had his own theories. “Liu Hao placed a lot of importance on this Lord Grim. To make a pro-player view him as an enemy, Lord Grim can’t be any weaker than him. I have a feeling Liu Hao is aware of who Lord Grim is. His hostile actions seem to be concealing his fear, acknowledgement, and trust. Because of this fear, he ran to spy on them. Because of his acknowledgement, he stole his strategy and directly used it. Because of his trust, he trusted that the strategy being used was already the most optimal choice. There wouldn’t be any strategy better than it.”

Liang Yichun’s jaw dropped, but Haung Shaotian remained calm and collected. Truly worthy of being called a pro! Thought Liang Yichun.

Yu Wenzhou actually started joking that in order to know who Lord Grim was they could just directly call Liu Hao. Thankfully, Yu Wenzhou followed the rules of not bringing his phone to practice. Liang Yichun was sweating regardless.

“Actually, someone who Liu Hao is enemies with, is scared of, was acknowledged and trusted by, there’s no need to ask. I know who it is.”

Liang Yichun couldn’t hold his tongue. “Who is he?”

Yu Wenzhou smiled. “Ye Qiu.”

Liang Yichun was slapped silent, unable to express his shock.

“Shaotian, have you talked to Ye Qiu recently?” Yu Wenzhou asked innocently.

“Nope!” He said a little too enthusiastically. “After that guy retired, he just seemed to have evaporated. Maybe he was kidnapped by aliens!”

“He doesn’t use cellphones, right?”

“Yeah.”

Yu Wenzhou continued Huang Shaotian’s joke.

“It appears he was kidnapped by aliens to the tenth server to play as Lord Grim. Unspecialized? He may even appear in a match one day.”

Liang Yichun continued to be unable to speak. With nothing else to add and all secrets revealed, he had no more reason to stay, so when Yu Wenzhou said it was time to eat, he intended to leave, but Huang Shaotian jumped at the chance to drag him to the cafeteria and chatter his ear off about pointless things.

~~~~~

Liang Yichun had followed blankly, ate his food and found that the idea of Lord Grim being God Ye Qiu was harder to digest than his food.

Huang Shaotian chattered all the while intending to use his words as a certain type of weapon.

Distraction!

It ultimately failed as when Changing Spring left with words from Yu Wenzhou to keep an eye on the weapon, Yu Wenzhou turned his attention to Huang Shaotian.

He reminded him of how he’d left after their match with Excellent Era, correctly guessing he went to see Ye Qiu and called him out for being Flowing Tree.

Huang Shaotian was silent before very badly trying to act as if he had no idea. Yu Wenzhou didn’t comment on that and directly asked about the weapon.

He asked countless questions about the attack speed and attributes and forms and concluded they’d see a true unspecialized soon.

“But not for at least a year.” Huang Shaotian said resolutely, which made Yu Wenzhou pause. He recalled the message Wang Jiexi had sent him.

He now had at least a bit of a better understanding of what might be going on. Ye Qiu had left, but more likely was forced out, as all the Master Tacticians had noticed Liu Hao’s sabotage. But it didn’t totally explain why he’d left. Ye Qiu was the kind of person to have a solution for most everything. He also seemed to not care about most things and likely felt as such towards Liu Hao. There was something deeper here. Something much more detrimental than petty sabotage.

“How is Ye Qiu doing?” Yu Wenzhou suddenly asked.

Huang Shaotian seemed to contemplate this. Of course, he readily gave the information on Ye Qiu’s unspecialized character to his Captain, but now he was asking a much more personal question.

“I think… something’s wrong. I noticed how thin he is. He doesn’t eat all that much to begin with and I always found it kind of concerning. And when I was playing with him, when I was sitting right next to him, I noticed that he was breathing really really carefully, like he was trying not to breathe in too deeply or exhale too forcefully. He seemed to wince when he twisted, and I hadn’t noticed until I really paid close attention just how dead his eyes looked. They only looked a little brighter when he was playing Glory! That doesn’t make any sense! He’s always been an arrogant guy, but he was hardly bragging at all, and even when he did it seemed much more forced. But yet it also sounded natural. It was as if his arrogance all this time has really been a well-maintained bluff to cover a lot of insecurities or something or maybe an injury? I don’t know I don’t know I don’t know. It doesn’t make sense! Why did he just retire when he can still play so amazingly! I haven’t beat him in a duel in so so so long! Maybe even ever! I mean, of course I can beat him, but I have to keep his morale up somehow! And his performance hasn’t slipped at all even as he’s lost weight and now, he won’t even tell me why he retired! I thought we were friends. He and I used to fight back on the first server back when I was still doing shameful things and now, he doesn’t even listen to me talk making such an unpleasant face whenever he hears me talk and flinches when I talk too loud and recoils when I try and hit him on the shoulder. It’s like, you’re not that old! You can take a playful hit!”

While the wall of text coming out of Haung Shaotian’s mouth might have annoyed most everyone else, Yu Wenzhou was used to it and quite welcomed it at this moment. Huang Shaotian was more observant than people gave him credit for, even in real life, the only problem is his thoughts flew so quickly to his mouth and into the wind that he usually didn’t actually process things until they were long removed from his mind. Yu Wenzhou however took each piece of information and processed it and categorized it in his mind to analyze further.

The results were just as he feared.

~~~~~

At the same time, Ye Xiu, who had defeated Poplar Beach, was suffering Chen Guo’s wrath in real life. She never went so far as to hit him, never ever even threatening it or even suggesting it, but her anger was palpable.

He wasn’t scared of Chen Guo. It was all teasing, and he was grateful that she still treated him like any other person, but he needed to get away from her and everything for just a bit.

He went out and walked around, smoking countless cigarettes. Overall, this time, without Cui Li’s abuse, his ribs and abdomen were steadily healing. It wasn’t the first time he’d had cracked ribs, but he hoped it would be the last.

Cui Li was exactly the type of person to find ways to inflict the most pain in very subtle ways or in ways that were so outrageous it was shocking to bear witness to.

The first time he’d beat Ye Xiu was after Tyranny won the Championship in season 4.

Ye Xiu had remained to spend a day celebrating with Han Wenqing. The ache in his body had everything to do with their celebration after their day out together.

But when the team meeting was called, and Wu Xuefeng said he was retiring, and Tao Xuan’s forehead vein was on full display, the ache was no longer a comfort.

Cui Li and Tao Xuan dismissed everyone else and then spoke with him for a long time. In the end, they finalized some new drafts to the team, and Tao Xuan left, his forehead vein having lessened slightly.

But then Cui Li called him back.

Never let it be said that Excellent Era hadn’t put in top notch effort in constructing each and every room in the building, but most importantly the meeting rooms. It would be just their luck some visiting dumbass reporter would overhear something and leak it to their rivals, so every room used for training and sensitive things were fully soundproofed.

Ye Xiu had stayed, patiently waiting for Cui Li to ask something from him. He had initially stood up to leave behind Tao Xuan, but closed the door to face Cui Li.

In the moment it took him to close the door and turn, Cui Li had marched forward and clocked him in the jaw.

Ye Xiu had stumbled, tripping backwards, and falling onto his back on the meeting room floor. Above him, pacing like a predator, Cui Li held a vicious smile and an unholy glint had settled in his eyes.

“Ye Qiu, Ye Qiu. You must know that despite your prowess in game, you’re really nothing in real life. So pathetic. So desperate to stay hidden. You keep your cards close to your chest. But you made a fatal error.. you showed your hand! You brought in Su Mucheng! I know you love her. Maybe romantically. Maybe platonically, but it stands to reason that you love her. Now, I am not someone who enjoys love, nor do I enjoy men’s bodies, but I appreciate things, and one of these things is power. I have waited in the shadows for so long for you to finally be where I want you, and now you’re here. So listen to me, and listen closely..” Cui Li proceeded to kick the left side of Ye Xiu’s ribs. He could feel the extreme pain and although he tried to make a noise, he found himself winded.

Cui Li drew forth a knife, a fucking knife, from somewhere. He advanced onto Ye Xiu, straddling the man as he writhed in pain, feeling his lip begin to swell and he curled in an attempt to stem the pain spreading through him from his injured ribs now being pushed on. Cui Li took the knife and placed it at Ye Xiu’s throat.

“Stop. Moving.”

Ye Xiu stilled, fear sliding ice cold through his veins.

“You are mine to control. Mine to hurt. You will submit to me. You will win Glory games and for every loss and every disobeyed order, you will be punished. If you say no, if you refuse, if you fight back… well, Su Mucheng is a truly wonderful example of the female population. It would be an utter shame if someone were to ruin her innocence. Do you understand?”

The blatant rape threat had Ye Xiu almost choking on nothing. This wasn’t the first time someone had threatened rape to him, but it was the first time it wasn’t directed at himself but rather at someone he cared about. Ye Xiu, despite the fear, knew there was no way out of this, and nodded. He felt utterly helpless and wanted to cry out in pain, scream his reluctance, but he swallowed it despite his only just returning breath.

Cui Li smiled sinisterly before he took the tip of the knife and placed it at Ye Xiu’s collarbone. With a tiny downward slice, a cut appeared on his right clavicle. It wasn’t overly deep, but it certainly wasn’t shallow. It would scar. Cui Li stopped straddling Ye Xiu and got up. He went to his briefcase and pulled on some documents. He walked back over to Ye Xiu who was still crumpled on the floor.

He grabbed Ye Xiu’s left hand away from where he held his side and held tight to Ye Xiu’s thumb. He directed the thumb to smudge into the blood that was collecting at the slit of the cut and proceeded to dip his thumb in it and bring it to a line on the paper. With a roll of his thumb, Ye Xiu’s fingerprint was immortalized in blood on the paper.

Ye Xiu stared in abject horror as Cui Li held a pen out to him.

“Sign it.”

Ye Xiu sat up, clenching his teeth in pain, and brought the pen to sign his name next to his bloody fingerprint, eyeing the knife that hovered.

Cui Li stood up and put a perfectly placating smile on his face.

“Pleasure doing business with you. I’ll be in contact if and when you disobey any of the clauses.” Cui Li left, Ye Xiu laid on the floor in shock, his whole body aching in agony.

His first coherent thoughts after a solid 5 minutes of just sitting there were, I wonder what I just signed… I don’t even know what clauses there are.

Ye Xiu smoked as he walked. Putting these thoughts away. Over a very short time, he learned exactly what he’d agreed to.

Ye Xiu walked aimlessly, directly avoiding Excellent Era’s building. Too many memories to process and right now he had more to deal with. After a few hours, he returned. Chen Guo had gone to bed, and he breathed easier for more than just the fact that his ribs were healing.

He logged back on and was immediately bombarded with messages from none other than Huang Shaotian. For some reason, Ye Xiu’s immediate thought was that Cui Li had discovered that Mucheng and Huang Shaotian had been with him in game (and in real life for the latter) and his pulse suddenly shot up in pace, but he quickly shook his head, since no one knew of what Cui Li had required in the second contract he’d made Ye Xiu sign in blood, or that Cui Li was involved at all, it was more reasonable to read what Huang Shaotian was saying than make assumptions. His heat continued to thunder regardless and a the hollowness that sat just above his stomach but just below his chest was churning in full force.

He opened the messages from Flowing Tree in game and saw that he’d been exposed in some way though. Apparently Blue Brook Guild had approached Yu Wenzhou for analysis. Of course, one of the four Master Tacticians could easily deduce his identity and tell their guild about it.

Huang Shaotian narrated the process to Ye Xiu, tactfully leaving out his admittance of the observations he’d witnessed during his visit and Yu Wenzhou’s concern at them.

“Oh, so it’s like that! But if I’ve been exposed, there’s nowhere for you to hide!” Ye Xiu admitted he was impressed whilst teasing Huang Shaotian and drawing attention away from himself.

“He already deduced I’m Flowing Tree.”

“Tsk tsk tsk, Yu Wenzhou really is amazing. It’s a shame his hands are handicapped.”

“He’s standing right behind me….”

“And that makes his hands not handicapped?”

“Captain…” Huang Shaotian turned to give a pathetic look at Yu Wenzhou who had prompted him to reach out in the first place.

Yu Wenzhou laughed. “He’s right. My hands really are handicapped.”

Of course, Yu Wenzhou had been teased relentlessly for it in the training camp, even by Huang Shaotian himself.

Known as “Deadlast”, it was a wonder he wasn’t bitter about it as it wasn’t until he beat the then Captain of Blue Rain, Wei Chen, with tactics and his crippled hands that he scraped up an ounce of respect for his name.

Huang Shaotian turned back. “Your trash talk has no effect on our team Captain!”

Ye Xiu rebuked this, insisting that Yu Wenzhou was amazing and would be much more difficult to deal with if he wasn’t handicapped. Ye Xiu had doubled down on his insults, keeping up his facade to hide his worry of being found out by a rather observant member of the Master Tacticians.

Huang Shaotian turned another pathetic and helpless look to his Captain who only smiled.

“Tell him this handicapped person would like to compare notes.”

Huang Shaotian conveyed the message to which Ye Xiu agreed, entering the arena match Yu Wenzhou had already set up on Flowing Tree, Ye Xiu grumbling about how Yu Wenzhou had this planned from the beginning.

They spoke as they fought, about Lord Grim’s weapon, about Ye Xiu’s return with an unspecialized, Yu Wenzhou only able to dodge until he was unable to do even that while mentioning his slight envy of people like Ye Xiu with crazy high APMs. He spoke this in a teasing tone and Ye Xiu shot back that if he had that, no one would stand a chance.

Ye Xiu’s false combos piled up relentlessly and even though Yu Wenzhou found opportunities to counter, he knew he couldn’t win.

“You won.” Yu Wenzhou informed pleasantly.

“Very normal.” Ye Xiu replied with flippant cockiness, his trademark.

They discussed the level limitation of an unspecialized and knew it’s use decreased as regular classes gained more skills at higher levels.

“Another round?” Yu Wenzhou asked and Ye Xiu brushed him off with the excuse of not letting Blue Rain’s team Captain see his true strength.

“Is that the real reason, or is it because your body is still healing?”

Ye Xiu was silent and still, staring at Flowing Tree in the game.

Yu Wenzhou charged onward.

“It can take 1-2 months for cracked ribs to heal, even longer if they’re broken. Your breathing is shallow, have you sought treatment? You put yourself at risk of pneumonia, especially with your decreased weight. Usually by now, you’d be insulting my intelligence or something. Is it that your facade, your mask, is also cracked?” It was brutal but also practical, voicing deductions made and associated concerns in Yu Wenzhou’s quest for answers.

“You don’t know what you’re talking about.” Ye Xiu threw this down and directly left the match.

Yu Wenzhou swallowed, sighed, and also withdrew.

Huang Shaotian had a look of utter confusion at Yu Wenzhou’s conversation and was most likely about to launch into a non-stop rant of rapid-fire speech when Yu Wenzhou got up from the computer and asked him to go over the VOD for the fight to see which combos he could have dodged, effectively distracting the chatterbox.

Yu Wenzhou left the training room, leaving Huang Shaotian to either remember or forget the whole conversation if it somehow stuck in his brain after the clever distraction.

He headed to his room, pondering whether he’d made a mistake in calling out that Ye Xiu was injured

Of course, the man was his senior, but he’d also go so far as to say they were sort of friends. Acquaintances at least, although Yu Wenzhou would love to be able to say Ye Qiu is a friend.

He was genuinely concerned for the man and needed to have even slight confirmation before letting his speculations run wild. And the conclusion of course was that Ye Qiu had been abused while at Excellent Era. Not just bullied or teased, but straight up abused.

Yu Wenzhou of course understood the fine lines that separated teasing and bullying and bullying and straight up abuse. Yes, bullying was awful, but it was usually milder and wasn’t occurring in a trusted relationship of any sort. Bullying was about enemies while abuse was about a close relationship turned toxic.

When he was still a trainee himself with his inferior hand speed on full display without any other merits to his name, it was a constant struggle of bullying and abuse. It wasn’t until Wei Chen had seen what others did that he defended Yu Wenzhou.

Little did the Captain know, this was what it took for Yu Wenzhou to realize that he didn’t necessarily need to excel in all areas to excel at Glory. He focused on his tactics and made it his goal to surpass their Captain to show his worth.

Despite Wei Chen not really paying him all that much attention even after stopping the more obvious bullying attempts and generally acting like a shameless bastard, Yu Wenzhou could see the sincere care the man put into raising the trainees and protected them like children even as he berated them mercilessly. He never really meant anything he said, just said it because it was shameless.

Yu Wenzhou smiled at the memories, but the smile quickly faded. He had been a trainee then and the other trainees were the ones who bullied him. Once Yu Wenzhou had proved himself, he was no longer maliciously targeted, although still teased. He had accepted this fact, but he knew to an extent as a Captain, he was relatively untouchable. He even welcomed the teasing; let people underestimate him.

So, what had happened to Ye Qiu? The man was a main roster player since day one. There was no one who would simply bully him based on his status alone. Therefore, it had to be someone in a position of power over him, and this person must be a serious narcissist who got off on having someone who was well respected and feared for his abilities under his thumb.

The list of names he came up with were obviously few but held great sway within the inner workings of a club and at Club Excellent Era these names hadn’t changed in a long time. Almost as long as Ye Qiu himself had been there.

So then just how long had Ye Qiu been suffering? The very notion had Yu Wenzhou suddenly swallowing through a dry throat, nearly stumbling as he walked, estimations flowing through his mind.

He’d made it to his room almost on auto pilot and luckily didn’t trip and before he could do anything else, he shut the door and pulled out his phone. He opened the chat between himself and Wang Jiexi and carefully and slowly typed out a response he’d been failing to give until he had a more well-constructed response.

Vaccaria (Wang Jiexi): Do you think Ye Qiu is okay?

Swoksaar (Yu Wenzhou): No, I don’t. And I don’t think he has been for a long time.

~~~~~

Jiang You, Tyrannical Ambition’s guild leader had the same idea as Blue Brook and went to the club to talk about Lord Grim.

The only problem was that Tyranny’s Captain was much less agreeable and easy to get along with than Yu Wenzhou.

Han Wenqing is an intimidating man to say the least, and as of late, he’s seemed to have been on the warpath. Although Jiang You himself hadn’t witnessed it, he’d heard the rumors throughout the club. They were even saying that the main roster players were walking on eggshells around the man and no one had any idea as to why he was in a much more, should we say, violent mood these days.

Jiang You had patiently waited for a practice to end to go to Han Wenqing, but after one harsh glare from the mob boss, Jiang You decidedly pretended he was just passing by.

The only one seemingly able to handle the man was their vice-Captain, Zhang Xinjie. Although the man had a strict schedule and was rather solemn, he wasn’t nearly as terrifying as Han Wenqing.

Jiang You approached him at lunch and after suffering through the man’s silent and drawn-out eating, the vice-Captain agreed to check out this Lord Grim in game.

Jiang You immediately prepared a Cleric account and had himself and some guild elites on the tenth server on standby for whenever Zhang Xinjie fit the time into his schedule based also on Lord Grim’s usual play time. But of course, it probably wouldn’t happen right away with how strict a schedule he set, so Jiang You went back to the game.

Of course, this would be the night that many guilds decided to team up on Lord Grim and attack him.

Ye Xiu found himself laughing at the absurdity of the situation but lamented that it was inevitable. When faced with great power, people tended to want to tear it down. Wasn’t Cui Li like this? Except he was like that towards real people whereas this was just a natural part of playing Glory, so Ye Xiu didn’t mind and even roped Huang Shaotian into helping by appealing to his lack of ability to ignore trash talk once he sought Ye Xiu out.

All in all, Ye Xiu had felt somewhat uneasy because of it all. The attack was led by Excellent Dynasty, but he had a lingering fear that maybe Cui Li had sent them.

He doubted it after thinking rationally, but that little inkling of fear remained, egged on especially from Yu Wenzhou’s words. How many people knew at this point? He decided not to think about it and smoked a cigarette whenever he had a chance, controlling his breathing carefully.

Mucheng had snuck out from the Club building to come hang out with him and there was increased anxiety from that. Normally Mucheng’s presence was reassuring, but in the current situation, it could have been discovered by Cui Li, so Ye Xiu of course spent a bit of his mindpower (unwillingly) on this thought.

Overall, the fight was tiring. If this was what the guilds resorted to because of his character being a necessity in dungeon clears, he needed to come up with a new strategy.

He already had some ideas in mind and was only a little shocked to find that he had already unconsciously begun moving towards creating a new team from scratch when Huang Shaotian mentioned it.

He really hadn’t thought of it that deeply! He just wanted to play as a distraction and as an homage to a dearly departed friend.

Another cigarette cut off that thought before it could bear anymore fruit.

Ye Xiu went to bed, mentally exhausted more so than physically, which was a very uncommon thing for him.

The next day though, Zhang Xinjie approached Jiang You about coming to test this Lord Grim that night. Much faster than expected!

Jiang You scrambled to acquire a level 33 Cleric account and double checked that everyone was still available and began to sus out Lord Grim’s last known location.

At 2 o’clock sharp, Zhang Xinjie showed up, bringing his own mouse and keyboard, as was his disciplined style. They logged into the game, looking for Lord Grim.

Lord Grim had last logged off at Line-canyon and Zhang Xinjie instructed them to go wait at the entrance to the dungeon.

He positioned them carefully and waited patiently. Lord Grim logged in not long after and Zhang Xinjie acknowledged this.

They waited for an hour, Zhang Xinjie as silent and stoic in real life as his character in game. Jiang You and the others felt awkward, unable to feel comfortable enough to speak let alone joke.

Another hour passed; Zhang Xinjie having cleared his schedule for a while to ensure that he’d fulfill his duties in checking out Lord Grim.

When the character finally emerged from the canyon, Zhang Xinjie gave precise orders.

Ye Xiu approached and also noticed how precise the positioning was and was immediately on alert. Anyone this precise had to be a professional and a name was already in mind. He calmed his breathing as it had jumped slightly at the thought that it was Zhang Xinjie who more often times than not was accompanied by Han Wenqing.

Ye Xiu didn’t feel prepared to see his ex, but in order to get somewhere safe and repair his weapon, he’d have to risk it.

He messaged Endless Night, the Cleric’s account that he had friended from previously encountering Tyrannical Ambition and the character Zhang Xinjie was using after he’d seen him.

“Who’s there?”

“You won’t be leaving.”

“Oh? Is there an ambush out there?”

“Yeah.”

“How many?”

“Six.”

“Your positioning isn’t bad!”

“Ha ha. If you’re done looking, you’d better be careful.”

“Coming!”

True to his word, Lord Grim approached and Zhang Xinjie threw out commands for the players to follow.

Lord Grim dodged with a masterful Z-shake but still fell into the entrapment. He threw down skills but never counterattacked. Only Zhang Xinjie noticed Lord Grim wasn’t using his Myriad Manifestations Umbrella and was relying on a purple Nightwalker’s weapon.

Zhang XinJie used his Cleric’s damage ability Sacred Fire and the other Cleric timed theirs perfectly as well, silencing Lord Grim.

However, as they continued to attack, Lord Grim continued to counter. He placed traps, catching the players off guard. After many moves exchanged in a short period of time, Lord Grim had beaten all the attackers down and was about to escape.

“Almost. A bit more and you would have gotten me. Try again next time.” He threw this down and left.

Ye Xiu felt his blood come alive at the whole interaction. He really did love Glory and the whole pro-scene and this battle with Zhang Xinjie reminded him of this, despite having put him in a dangerous situation. The problem was, he didn’t know if it was safe for him to return.

If he returned, Cui Li might attack Mucheng, or even come directly after him. Han Wenqing hated him, who knew what he might be like right now. Admittedly, it was more than that. He loved Glory. His whole life was Glory and he never wanted to leave, could play the game for another 10 years and not get bored, but was he really someone able to stand on stage like the others? Ye Xiu felt that he wasn’t up to par in terms of reality to fantasy. He didn’t live up to others’ expectations. But why did he have to?

His head hurt from thinking too much and he smoked a cigarette to stop.

The guild players gathered around Zhang Xinjie. They pointed out that he wasn’t using his original weapon and Jiang You mentioned it was low on durability from fighting all night.

Zhang XinJie then proceeded to calmly explain to each person where they fell short. Black lines appeared on all their foreheads, some even feeling as if they should go sit in a corner to draw circles and grow mushrooms. But the reaction was cut short by the thought of if Han Wenqing had been there instead of Zhang Xinjie.

Zhang XinJie pointed out the main conflict being the competition for dungeon records and had reached out to Lord Grim to arrange a 5v5 team competition for Lord Grim to stop touching Tyrannical Ambition’s records. Lord Grim requested a list of materials if he won and Jiang You sweat-dropped when he read it but ultimately accepted.

In a team competition, synergy between teammates was a must. If the reports were correct, Zhang Xinjie deduced that they had a very high chance of winning in comparison to Lord Grim’s newly formed team.

~~~~~

Ye Xiu, having fixed his weapon, attempted to gather people to fight. Tang Rou and Chen Guo had gone out for a walk and wouldn’t be back in time. Thankfully Su Mucheng always pulled through. Qiao Yifan, who had been coming to play with them to train often, wasn’t online at the time. Steamed Bun Invasion was on, but he broke his weapon and had to buy a new one. Thankfully, they had the gold to.

Ye Xiu told Zhang Xinjie he didn’t have enough players and was mocked slightly. Ye Xiu felt despair. He wanted his materials! Thankfully, one annoying chatterbox had returned to continue his tirade of messages to get a match and Ye Xiu convinced (tricked) him to come help him. Even bought his Flowing Tree a new weapon. So generous!

Sadly, they were still down one, so a random person joined. Zhang Xinjie and his team members were confused and on high alert, but it really was meaningless.

The battle was rather quick, Ye Xiu using Star Tactic where two characters were enough to crush any other tactics. Zhang Xinjie came to this realization and had a thought of the identity of Flowing Tree and Lord Grim had formed in his mind, making him short-circuit briefly.

Lord Grim’s team won, having humiliatingly pushed and kept all the players down in rivers of lava. Too easy.

“We’ve lost.” Said Zhang Xinjie.

“I agree.” Ye Xiu responded.

“Who are you?”

“Exactly who you think I am. An expert.”

Zhang Xinjie was silent.

Ye Qiu, Su Mucheng, Huang Shaotian. These three names had flashed through his head long ago, but he was a cautious person. If he wasn’t 100% certain, he wouldn’t easily conclude anything. But if it really was Ye Qiu… maybe this could be an opportunity?

Lord Grim offered to bet in the future and Tyrannical Ambition’s side quietly retreated.

Zhang Xinjie admitted fault. He underestimated the opponents. He said he should bet again to retry. He’d bring people over from the main roster in two days.

Jiang You lit up with excitement.

They finished earlier than Zhang Xinjie expected, and he made his way back to his room but stopped when he found a light still on in the training room.

Han Wenqing was there, running a simulation. When he finished (read as “fell and was not able to continue”), the black screen reflected Zhang Xinjie’s face.

“How’d it go?” Han Wenqing asked. Zhang Xinjie obviously informed him of his plans. He was nothing if not thorough and he always kept his Captain updated… for the most part.

He was conveniently keeping any and all indications that he knew his Captain and Ye Qiu were dating quiet and obviously his concerns about Ye Qiu’s physical condition as well.

“We lost.”

“Lost?” Han Wenqing’s mood dropped. It wasn’t high to begin with and he was really just distracting himself with training at this point.

“The opponents’ strengths far exceeded my expectations.”

“How strong?”

“Pro-level.”

Han Wenqing’s eyes narrowed. What was with this tenth server? Apparently, all the pros were interested in it at this point.

“Let me see the recording.”

Zhang Xinjie complied, and Han Wenqing watched it thoroughly and made deductions, commenting on how they shouldn’t have lost so badly.

Han Wenqing guessed Lord Grim was Yu Wenzhou, but Zhang Xinjie debunked this quickly and actually alluded to someone else.

“Are you saying… Ye Qiu?” Han Wenqing suddenly laughed coldly. His eyes looked stern but there was a layer of hurt just below the surface. His hand that was still on the mouse, was clenched hard.

He was hiding his unwillingness and loneliness and hurt, and Zhang Xinjie didn’t know how to fix it. He wasn’t much of a people person.

Before Han Wenqing could talk, Zhang Xinjie forged ahead. “I set up another match.”

“I can come take a look.” Han Wenqing offered. He came off completely casual, but Zhang Xinjie could feel the underlying desperation. Zhang Xinjie knew that Ye Qiu was notorious for being uncontactable.

Han Wenqing rewatched the recording and his thoughts always strayed to Lord Grim, but more accurately the man who could be behind that character.

Was it really him? Will I finally have a chance to confront him? Will I finally get my answers? Do I even want answers? Do I really want my suspicions that he’s no longer in love with me, and maybe never was, confirmed?

These thoughts continued to bring Han Wenqing’s mood down, but he still resolved that the only thing he could do was confront this head on.

~~~~~~

Ye Xiu had a plan.

If Zhang Xinjie was from Tyranny. Who else was from Tyranny? Han Wenqing of course.

This was the guy Ye Xiu had straight up ghosted recently.

He was tempted at the time to implore Zhang Xinjie to not tell Han Wenqing anything, but that was unrealistic and would confirm his identity which was currently to his benefit.

But that meant Han Wenqing was incoming any moment now. And by any moment, Ye Xiu meant right now because this was the time him and Zhang Xinjie set for a rematch.

In order to enact his plan, Ye Xui didn’t actually inform anyone on his side that this was occurring.

Random players: that was his plan.

Jiang You feared they were all hidden experts as he observed them. Han Wenqing’s eyeline never left Lord Grim.

So, when the match started, of course Han Wenqing went right for Lord Grim hang Xinjie instructed the rest of the team to go after the other four.

Zhang Xinjie observed the other players and saw it was nothing but chaos and was immediately confused. Why would Lord Grim just bring in four random players? Did he intend to throw the match? If this was Ye Qiu, was he that intent on avoiding contact with Han Wenqing?

It was too late to contemplate as Han Wenqing initiated contact with Lord Grim. He went all out and Lord Grim dodged beautifully. It was certain to Han Wenqing within a moment of interaction exactly who this was. It really was Ye Qiu! He was really here, and he really hadn’t run away. He must have guessed that the Cleric was Zhang Xinjie, so he must have been able to deduce that Han Wenqing would come to back up his guild and vice-captain, yet he still came.

After the cryptic message, after the ghosting and retiring, he ran to the game to cause trouble and then didn’t even try to hide himself from Han Wenqing? Did he not even care? The hurt deep in Han Wenqing’s heart was almost unbearable from this barrage of thoughts, but he was playing; he couldn’t let them distract him.

It was a little confusing though why Ye Qiu was fighting this hard when the rest of his random player team had already been wiped out. Did he expect to win like this?

Ye Xiu was in fact, just enjoying the nostalgia of fighting against Han Wenqing. He wouldn’t admit it to anyone, but he’d missed it. Yes, they were lovers, but they had also been rivals. They’d spent so many breaks together, relaxing, talking, playing Glory. It was for fun. It always had been, even if he’d always been battered and beaten when he’d gotten back, the quick reprieve was worth it.  

“Can’t let you get too arrogant.” Ye Xiu spoke into the mic. At the distance from the rest of the team, no one in the arena could hear him. 

“So, it really is you.” Han Wenqing said in the training room and also to Ye Qiu. Lord Grim was no longer fighting so seriously.

Jiang You immediately wanted to scream out “Who? Who!!??” but held back because it was Han Wenqing he’d be screaming at.

“Why fight so seriously?” Ye Xiu asked as Han Wenqing continued to attack him. He was able to keep up his arrogant façade and shield the longing tone from creeping into his voice. It was better if Han Wenqing was as far away from him as possible. He wasn’t safe with Ye Xiu around. He believed he should have left Han Wenqing well before he did, not because he didn’t love him (God, he loved him), but just to keep him safe from all the baggage Ye Xiu carried around.

Ye Xiu realized that Han Wenqing was angry though. Yes, he was playing as forcefully as usual, but somehow, Ye Xiu could tell. He’d made it his life’s second goal to understand as much about Han Wenqing as he could, and he knew he was pissed. The reasons were plenty and Ye Xiu could only let him vent. He directly stopped controlling his character and was prepared to let Han Wenqing combo him to death. Ye Xiu got up carefully to get a soda, noting that breathing was easier. Whether this was due to him actually healing or whether it was because Han Wenqing was in such close proximity, he’d never admit to the second so of course he conveniently chose the first.

Han Wenqing noticed Lord Grim wasn’t dodging and all the anger drained from him. Ye Qiu was just taking it? Just giving up? Did he really not give a single care to what they had before?

“Huh? Why aren’t I dead yet?” Ye Xiu put his mic back on after opening his drink. Han Wenqing had stopped but as soon as Ye Xiu spoke, he pounced again.

Han Wenqing however, was also a little lost in nostalgia. He didn’t want this to end. He had his rival, his lover, so close to him, doing all the things they used to do since the first server together and he missed it. He really missed this.

“What are you doing? Just a bit more, hurry up.” Ye Xiu pressured, not sure if he could keep up his arrogant composure for much longer against Han Wenqing’s turbulent emotions translated through Glory.

“What are you trying to do?” Han Wenqing threw back.

“It’s just a small match…”

“Sorry, I only know how to go forward. I don’t understand what it means to slow down.” Han Wenqing made this a double entendre; He didn’t know what it meant to slow down in Glory, and he didn’t know what it was to slow down in love or any other aspect of life. To suddenly up and quit without a word, just wasn’t his style and infuriated and cut him to the core.

“Then hurry up and win.” Ye Xiu was not going to acknowledge the second meaning to that first statement.

“Why don’t you just leave?”

“Leaving doesn’t mean I’ve recognized I’ve lost. There is such a thing as a tactical retreat.” This time it was Ye Xiu who used the double entendre. Leaving the pro scene didn’t mean he’d given up on Glory the same way retreating from Cui Li didn’t mean giving up on his life.

Wait…

Had he actually meant that?

Ye Xiu stopped. He had been playing Cui Li’s and he-who-we-don’t-talk-about’s games for over 10 years. These games weren’t as simple as Glory, which was saying a lot because Glory wasn’t fucking simple at all. And all this time, that sliver of hope had lived in Ye Xiu’s heart. He’d been making plans, protecting people at the cost of himself, but still, he had somehow always found a way to get himself out of the crossfire. Yet until now, he’d never fought back.

Could he?

He could. He really could. Cui Li didn’t deserve to stay there, and with protection in place for Su Mucheng and himself away from the man’s grasp, it was possible to find a new way to advance.

Tactical retreat. He hadn’t thought about Cui Li’s contract as his own form of retreat. His own thoughts had truly shaken his status quo. He needed a cigarette but knew even that wouldn’t change anything now.

After this brief moment, Lord Grim left the arena match. Tyrannical Ambition’s guild members won.

“You’ve lost!” Lord Grim received this message.

“Yeah, in the future I won’t touch your guild’s records.”

Ye Xiu had a plan. He immediately started pedaling his guide to all the guilds, trying to calm his heart from his revelation and keep those poisonous thoughts from his mind with his cigarettes and get Han Wenqing’s voice out of his head. It was less effective than usual, and his heart wasn’t truly in trying to abate the thoughts. He couldn’t help but want to finally, finally do something about Cui Li.

Pulling up his QQ, he saw he had a message from Qin Fu who had just added him and sent a message in case Ye Xiu wanted to get in contact. Before he could over think it, Ye Xiu sent a message.

Lord Grim: I need evidence against Cui Li. I need to make sure he can’t hurt anyone ever again. I don’t have a well thought out plan, but I just need to have as much against him as possible, just in case. But I can’t let him hurt Mucheng because of it. Do not let him hurt Mucheng. Please.

Ye Xiu breathed out a puff of smoke and licked his lips. He grabbed a bit of food to munch on as he continued to train the new players and play Glory in all its splendor and deviousness. He loved this world he played in.

Right now, it was all he had.

~~~~~

Although the match had been kind of boring, minus the nostalgia, Han Wenqing was in an even more complicated mood. Ye Qiu hadn’t been trying, but his words were somehow much more important. He couldn’t shake the feeling that there was something that he was missing in the man’s words, and it was bugging him. He was no less angry at the way Ye Qiu had gone about leaving, nor how they hadn’t addressed anything that had happened between them in the slightest. Tactical retreat? Was that what this break up was to Ye Qiu?

Fuck that!

Han Wenqing wanted to message Ye Qiu but knew it was futile; the man never checked QQ! And if Han Wenqing ran onto the tenth server with different accounts it was only a matter of time before someone guessed why he even bothered. He didn’t want to seem desperate, but also, he meant what he said before. He didn’t know the meaning of slow down and slowing down often meant looking back. He couldn’t go back. He couldn’t go running back to Ye Qiu the moment he showed even the slightest indication of still being invested in Glory because he was no longer invested in their relationship in the same way Han Wenqing was. All he could do was move forward. Alone. Even though he whole-heartedly wanted to go back to the relationship they’d had before. Even now, after all these years, the love Han Wenqing had for Ye Qiu was bone deep. He couldn’t move backwards, but did he want to move forwards? Only if that forward was back with Ye Qiu.

After discussing Ye Qiu’s plans for the future, possibly even returning, Jiang You mustered up the courage to ask who exactly Lord Grim was. Han Wenqing threw down a spiteful “Ye Qiu.” Before leaving to continue living his ungodly awful mood in peace.

Zhang Xinjie watched him go. Contrary to all the other guild members and the one additional pro they’d brought, he could actually hear what Ye Qiu had said. What was this about a tactical retreat? Retreat from what? From whom? He already knew it wasn’t a retreat from Han Wenqing, but it appeared to be a part of the plan. He was hiding, biding his time. For what?

Every time he thought of this, Zhang Xinjie could only come up with one conclusion: Someone at Excellent Era had been abusing Ye Qiu. But without even a shred of evidence, how could he even begin to fully believe this thought? But the thought had taken root and was not to be pruned easily. He’d reached his wits end in being in the dark and needed to do something to get an explanation for Han Wenqing before the man truly had an outburst of anger directed at the entire world and no one in particular.

Zhang Xinjie made his way to his room and pulled out his phone. He considered who to contact and figured if Flowing Tree was Huang Shaotian, it was reasonable to think that Blue Rain’s Captain might be in the know.

Immoveable Rock (Zhang Xinjie): Sorry to bother you, but do you have any information on Ye Qiu’s well-being?

Swoksaar (Yu Wenzhou): Yes.

Zhang Xinjie was added to a group chat that consisted of Yu Wenzhou, Wang Jiexi, and now himself. They immediately summarized their findings from interactions they’d had with Ye Qiu and possible deductions they came up with. To finally have confirmation of his theories through others’ speculations made Zhang Xinjie’s heart feel more at ease, even as it also felt more uneasy at how exactly he was going to do anything to help Ye Qiu or Han Wenqing for that matter. When midnight arrived, despite all the new information he’d gathered, Zhang Xinjie still went to sleep.

He'd need to maintain his schedule diligently until it was absolutely necessary that he broke it.

~~~~~

It was only a matter of time.

The poisonous thoughts came back in full force while he was trying to sleep.

He was staring down the barrel of a gun, but only metaphorically. The gun was really a man’s eyes. They weren’t Cui Li’s eyes, no, this man was an older gun. One that had haunted him since his teen years.

He hadn’t seen a way out then. He still wasn’t sure if there was a way out now. He was always being pursued. Always just over his shoulder, lurking in the background of his mind. Somehow, Cui Li’s torment had masked this man’s presence even more than the cigarettes ever had.

Every day, Ye Xiu was ready to die. Not necessarily by his own hand, although the thought crossed his mind a concerning number of occasions, but by this shadow that was playing with him, toying with his life.

But after coming to the decision to fight back against Cui Li, why couldn’t he do the same for this man? Both held those he loved in the palms of their hands, but he knew only one had the balls to kill for power.

He was scared. That was the bottom line; Ye Xiu was scared.

He was scared of being exposed after so long feeling just a tiny bit like he wasn’t about to be dragged to hell. Like he was hidden and had a life he could be proud of.

He really just wanted to write his own story; have it work out the way he wanted it to.

But the darkness was always looming.

Ye Xiu sat up in bet, feeling faintly nauseous and regretting having eaten anything at all. He longed for an escape that wasn’t killing him like the cigarettes likely were. He felt his eyes tear up at the sudden overwhelming desire to be held by Han Wenqing.

Han Wenqing was his haven, his solace.

But even thinking about it brought a wave of guilt crashing over him. Han Wenqing was Ye Xiu’s haven, but Ye Xiu was likely no longer Han Wenqing’s.

Ye Xiu could imagine the disappointment in Han Wenqing’s eyes if he ever found out the truth. It was a reflection of what he’d become. He felt like he’d wasted too much of Han Wenqing’s time. He let Ye Xiu in, he let Han Wenqing down, the cycle seemed to remain.

And yet, most times he didn’t think about it. It was like he had become numb to everything that wasn’t the utter horror of being hunted or harmed. He felt so far away from life; do disconnected from himself.

Han Wenqing was an ideal that was so far out of reach, Ye Xiu didn’t know if he even deserved to keep breathing the same air as him. He hated so much what he’d become, but yet the numbness still remained.

He feared touch but craved Han Wenqing’s. It was the only touch he knew would always be gentle and even when he was angry there was never intent to truly harm. Lying in Han Wenqing’s arms, Ye Xiu knew they were worlds apart, but he desperately craved to be a part of the other world. To be rid of his messy mind, his past, his scars, and this sickness that prevented him from feeling the true weight of the hold Han Wenqing held him in.

Han Wenqing didn’t just not know how to slow down; he also didn’t know how to do anything by halves. Han Wenqing loved Ye Xiu till it hurt. It was possible that this love would grind him down to the bone and Ye Xiu knew it was all his fault.

He should never have gotten involved.

It was only a matter of time before the shadow found him; before the shadow found who else he could use to threaten him into submission.

It was so much harder than it seemed to find purpose in the pain when it was as if there was no end in sight.

He wanted to believe his days in hell could one day be his glory, but where to start?

A funny little thought slipped into his mind.

Don’t slow down, keep moving forward.

Which way was forward?

Ye Xiu had been hiding. Hiding from the world, hiding from the shadow. Hiding hiding hiding.

Was the only way forward… to stop hiding?

Ye Xiu ran to the bathroom to promptly throw up at this very notion. He dragged himself back to bed and drowned himself in cigarettes.

He had no one he could truly talk to about this. For now, he’d have to put his trust in this bedroom ceiling and his clouds of smoke to figure it out eventually.

Hopefully he’d be in less pain, both physical and emotional, tomorrow.

~~~~~

Self-destruction I’ll think ‘til I can’t function, I should have seen it coming to this. Every second I breathe, I'm coming closer. With every day that I see, I'm getting older. With every step that I take, I'm moving further away from what I am and who I was.

~~~~~

Chapter Text

~~~~~

I had so many flash fires that I just let them burn. ‘Cause all I needed was some words to say that all these feelings don’t mean shit to me. ‘Cause it’s all just chemicals anyways.

~~~~~ 

Outside of Club Excellent Era, two men leaned against a wall puffing cigarettes. The taller of the two looked for everything like he belonged there while the slightly shorter of the two looked just slightly out of place.

Maybe it was because he had a frown of disgust on his face as he puffed at his cigarette that was hardly used before he snuffed it out against the wall. The shorter man spoke.

“I can’t believe you talked me into this.” Qin Fu glared angrily.

“You’re the one who said we couldn’t seem too close. That it would look too suspicious.” Yang Yinzhi blew out a puff of smoke at Qin Fu before also snubbing his only half smoked cigarette out. One point to him for being the better actor.

Qin Fu glared, but Yang Yinzhi simply quirked an eyebrow at him causing him to sigh.

“I’m doing it aren’t I? I said I’d do it and I’m doing it.”

Yang Yinzhi’s eyes lit up in fondness at the frustration evident on Qin Fu’s face before he stood up straight and a serious expression overtook his features.

“You know the plan?”

Qin Fu rolled his eyes.

“‘Do I know the plan?’” He mocked, “of course I know the plan. We’ve been planning this plan for days! This plan better work, I hate planning plans.”

Yang Yinzhi didn’t deem that mess of a sentence with a reply and simple strode back in, Qin Fu pouting at his back as he followed a few seconds later, popping mints into his mouth and looking over his shoulder at the Internet Café across the street with a determined gaze.

~~~~~

So, what plan had they been planning for days now?

Qin Fu would call it “the plan that took so much planning that by the time we finished planning it, the target will have their own plans realized” plan.

Yang Yinzhi would say it was “not a great plan but the best we can do to get what we want done” plan.

Who was right?

Yang Yinzhi, for sure.

Firstly, it hadn’t taken that long for them to plan. Qin Fu was just over-dramatic like that.

Secondly, it was a plan filled with possible mess ups.

Their observations of team Excellent Era had revealed that Liu Hao was a sabotaging little shit, Sun Xiang was an arrogant prat nearly insufferable to spend more than an hour in a room with, Su Mucheng looked innocent but was really very clever, cunning, and funny, and Cui Li was a power-hungry asshole with a bit of obsessive-compulsive disorder for contracts.

The man loved contracts and was an asshole. Great combo.  

Their conclusions? As a consummate professional, Qin Fu would say “a fucking creep. Kill him with fire.” Yang Yinzhi would say “a man who always keeps documents of everything he does. Let’s steal them.”

That was the start of the plan.

Problem number one: Cui Li keeps his contracts close to his chest. How close? Not quite literally, but close enough. He carries all important documents on him in a briefcase. Rather hard to get that since he carries it around like it’s a religion.

Problem number two: as a power-hungry asshole who derives pleasure from smushing others under his boot, he likely needed constant affirmation of said smushing, and so likely took out the contracts and whatever other bullshit he kept as souvenirs to admire (masturbate over? Qin Fu shuddered) often.

So, what to do?

Solution to problem one: separate the man and the briefcase. Easier said than done, but Yang Yinzhi had a plan.

“Plan-ception” Qin Fu oh so helpfully provided when they’d discussed it.

Solution to problem two: make copies! This was the electronic age. They could take pictures, copy hard drives and USBs, hell, there was even such a thing as a photocopying machine. The wonders of the twenty-first century.

So that was the plan.

The original thesis stands. Yang Yinzhi’s name for the plan was far more accurate; a great number of things could go wrong and go wrong they did. Sort of.

~~~~~

When Cui Li arrived in his office, he set down his briefcase on his desk. Yang Yinzhi wasted no time and made his move. He opened the door and started asking Cui Li questions that needed addressing very urgently, please come with me so we can figure this out.

Cui Li, needing to perform his job properly, followed Yang Yinzhi out to address these concerns that were very urgent, please come with me so we can figure this out.

When they were out of sight, one Qin Fu slunk out from the shadows and entered the office where the briefcase still laid.

He went over to it and opened up the combination that they’d had to carefully acquire (they saw it on video cameras they’d hacked into) and voila, it was opened. He sifted through the folders (the man had his souvenirs of torment organized like a fricken bank) and withdrew the file marked Ye Qiu, which was quite a bit thicker than the others.

Inside, Qin Fu found two documents that, to his horror, were signed in blood with a fingerprint. He walked over to the photocopier in the room and quickly began to scan copies. There was also a USB likely containing copious amounts of picture evidence of what he’d done. A criminal who collects his own evidence against himself. Score!

With a specially curated device they’d acquired, Qin Fu began to copy the contents of the drive onto one of his own.

Just as Qin Fu was feeding the remainder of Ye Qiu’s file through the printer (just in case) and the USB was almost finished copying, was the moment none other than Su Mucheng strode in.

She looked at Qin Fu, looked at the printer, and opened her mouth to speak.

“It’s not what it looks like!” Qin Fu hastily whisper-yelled.

Su Mucheng paused, quirking an eyebrow in the same infuriating way Yang Yinzhi did.

“Okay, maybe it is what it looks like, but it’s not for the reason you think!”

Again, Su Mucheng paused, but before she could speak, both her and Qin Fu’s eyes widened as they heard two people’s voices and footsteps approaching.

Qin Fu would recognize Yang Yinzhi’s voice anywhere, and Su Mucheng had enough experience with Cui Li to know his. With great haste, Qin Fu grabbed his photocopies and his now complete copy of the USB, grabbed Su Mucheng‘s wrist, shut the briefcase, and ran over to the desk where he pulled her down with him to hide underneath.

The door to the office swung opened, Cui Li conversing with Yang Yinzhi seriously, none the wiser to the man’s schemes behind the scenes.

Yang Yinzhi’s eyes scanned the room, and he was about to be secretly pleased that Qin Fu had been as quick as possible when he heard a light bump and the scuffle of clothing on floor that had his mind stuttering to a halt. Qin Fu was still in the room.

Cui Li was rummaging through filing cabinet drawers to find a document for the bullshit issue Yang Yinzhi had brought to his attention. He was about to go to his desk to check the drawers and perhaps his briefcase but before he could do that, Yang Yinzhi cleared his throat.

“Perhaps we can draw up a new plan to compare with the original. It doesn’t have to be found now as this new draft can be made without bias from the first.”

“Good thinking. Come with me and we’ll get started.” Cui Li usually had such planning sheets in his office, but they were recently moved to Tao Xuan’s office, so they had to go there to acquire them.

Yang Yinzhi left with Cui Li, sending a withering glare at Qin Fu whom he saw peeking out from behind the desk.

That glare however, quickly turned from withering to horrified as he locked eyes with Su Mucheng instead of the expected incompetent consummate professional Qin Fu.

Yang Yinzhi had no time to dwell on it as he left to uphold his charade and Qin Fu quickly re-organized everything to exactly the way it was before he meddled before beckoning Su Mucheng to follow him.

They left Cui Li’s office and walked down the halls, Qin Fu immediately looking as if he was simply making sure Su Mucheng got to her room safely as he had been doing since Ye Xiu left. They turned at her door and Qin Fu was about to scurry away when he was abruptly grabbed by Su Mucheng and pulled into the room stumbling.

“Hey, it’s not what you think!” Qin Fu tried again helplessly.

Su Mucheng glared at him angrily. She silently went across the room and grabbed her laptop. She set in on a table before resuming her glare at Qin Fu.

“Put the USB in.” Su Mucheng’s tone was all venom, daring him to refuse so she could attack and sink her hidden fangs into his jugular.

Reigning himself in, Qin Fu stepped forward. He thought about everything Ye Xiu had done for Su Mucheng. The woman had no idea everything that he’d gone through for her sake. Qin Fu didn’t resent her at all, he was quite endeared with her and understood perfectly well why Ye Xiu had done what he did and was even more proud of him for getting out of the situation with Cui Li, although the circumstances were still a little blurry. Also, Ye Xiu never stipulated that Su Mucheng not be involved in their investigation. He just said to protect her, and in a way, informing her of the monster lurking beneath the surface was doing just that.

Without preamble, Qin Fu directly inserted the drive, stepping away from the laptop to allow Su Mucheng to be the one in charge of it to see that he had no intention of trying to sabotage anything so she wouldn’t see.

With ease born of copious amounts of time spent on a computer, Su Mucheng brought up the files and prepared to open them. Qin Fu, who was looking at the screen with no small amount of upset was suddenly frozen by the sight that greeted him.

He’d expected the USB to be pictures, but unexpectedly, they were actually videos.

Mouth suddenly dry, he wanted to stop Su Mucheng from seeing. Hell, he wanted to stop himself from seeing. But a part of him knew it was too late. If she didn’t see them now, she’d find a way to see them in the future or meticulously chip away at Ye Xiu’s own resolve until he crumbled and told her everything, likely unable to piece himself back together afterwards.

The drive contained multiple files that were dated and unedited. Su Mucheng looked through them with furrowed brows before she came to the bottom of the list. She read the dates, probably noting they were a few days before Ye Xiu was forced to retire. The very last file though caught her eye.

Ye_Qiu_Business_Summary.vid

To a normal businessman, this could very well have been a summary of Ye Xiu’s contracts and reprimands or something, but for the power-hungry asshole Cui Li? It’s a whole ‘nother matter.

Su Mucheng double clicked the video file, opening it in a video player. It immediately started the video, in a familiar meeting room on a familiar date Su Mucheng recognized.

Three days after Excellent Era lost the season 4 championship to Tyranny.

The angle of the camera suggested it was placed in a piece of clothing on a person, around neck height. Perhaps in a tie? It’s as if the viewer were supposed to be able to step into the videographer’s shoes and immerse themselves entirely into the experience on screen.

That experience being abusing Ye Xiu.

Never let it be said Cui Li isn’t much of a gamer; it’s just that he prefers VR.

(a/n – holy shit I’m going to hell for that statement…)

Dates flashed before their eyes. Ye Xiu was punched in the face, kicked in the stomach and ribs. Cui Li brought out knives and made slices on Ye Xiu’s thighs, stomach, back, and chest. He’d press on old bruises until they darkened whilst threatening Su Mucheng to Ye Xiu and admonishing him for his failure in matches. He was called names, stepped on (literally), and Ye Xiu took it. He endured the soles of his feet being burnt and cut up. He endured slices on his back and over his heart. Nails scratching through flesh. Ribs cracked from the force of being jumped on. The taunting of lack of meals and paycheck constraints. All these things seemed only the tip of the iceberg of what Ye Xiu had endured. 

He took it all because he had brought Mucheng into this lion’s cage and he couldn’t get her out if he wanted to preserve her reputation. He gave himself over to Cui Li. Not sexually, but in every other way, and sexually was only a fine line away.

She saw how he signed the contracts in his own blood with his own fingerprint dipped in a wound made by Cui Li on his own body. She watched the light, the hope, the spirit in Ye Xiu’s eyes slowly dim. She saw the way he flinched as Cui Li screamed or slammed his fist against tables and then against Ye Xiu. She saw the way Ye Xiu’s whole demeanor screamed “defeat” and “lonely” and “help” and Mucheng found herself falling to her knees with tears in her eyes.

She turned to Qin Fu, somehow expecting to see delight on his face. It was as if she expected him to have been trying to burn this evidence or something and a spike of fear shot through her as she realized she was alone in the room with this man.

But wait, why did they hide from Cui Li then?

This thought occurred right as she looked at him, and the expected adulation was not there; sadness and horror were.

Qin Fu looked at the screen, the flashing images of Ye Xiu being abused with such profound sadness, Mucheng’s tears slowed ever so slightly. His eyes were tearing up too and he turned his gaze to hers.

“I’m so sorry..” He offered, shaking his head and lowering it, sniffling and reigning in his emotions.

“The other guard and I, the one who was distracting Cui Li, were approached by Ye Qiu after a match. We were originally guards at Tyranny. He came to us and said that there was something going on in Excellent Era, with management, where players and staff were fearing for their safety. He said he knew he didn’t have a lot of time left in the club, that they were forcing him out, and that he needed people inside to ensure others’ safety if he was to leave. I thought at first that he was the one who was keeping these managers in check or something with his status, but it turned out that he was the one who was taking the hits for everyone else.” Qin Fu swallowed thickly. “We agreed and left Tyranny, because we…” he hesitated, “we know that Ye Qiu and Han Wenqing were close. We just wanted to help and Yang Yinzhi, the other guard I mentioned, had already put together that it was Ye Qiu who was being abused. We came to protect him and you, but it was too late for him. But in a way, now he’s safe. I guess. Maybe. But anyways, I couldn’t let this stand; neither of us could. We want to take Cui Li down. That’s what I was doing in his office. I was collecting evidence to use against the man.” Qin Fu finished somewhat lamely.

As he finished, there was a knock on the door, and it opened to reveal a panicked Yang Yinzhi. He wasn’t supposed to open the door without permission from the resident, but he was convinced Qin Fu was being interrogated and didn’t want the man to be alone with the terrifying and cunning Su Mucheng.

When he saw Qin Fu was still there, he was relieved, but when he saw the tears in his eyes, his panic returned.

“A-Fu, what..?” He saw Su Mucheng was also crying and then he saw the video that had been playing on the computer and he froze. His gaze turned hard, and his lips pressed thinly together. He walked over to the computer and exited the video, pulling out the USB.

He pocketed it and turned to Su Mucheng.

She smiled slightly at him; a wet, slip of a smile.

“I didn’t know. All this time, I never suspected a thing. But I could feel his fear when I went to see him. It was like he was afraid because I was there. I thought… I don’t know what I thought.” She trailed off, wiping her eyes, trying and failing to fully compose herself.

Yang Yinzhi spoke. “We’re sorry for deceiving you. We genuinely like you and want to help both you and Ye Qiu. This was all he’d allow of us. We cannot directly confront Cui Li unless Ye Qiu decides to seek action. He said he would and needed the evidence. We never imagined..”

Never imagined what? That the abuse was borderline torture? Yang Yinzhi turned to Qin Fu and his gaze softened.

“A-Fu, you did good.” Qin Fu nodded, a little embarrassed at being comforted right now.

Abruptly, Su Mucheng giggled. “Are you two together?” she asked.

Qin Fu’s head bowed and his gaze landed on the floor as a blush spread across his cheeks while Yang Yinzhi remained calm and stoic, staring back at Su Mucheng, praying, hoping she didn’t say anything that would make him regret all the time and effort that he spent protecting her.

She wiped more tears. They were slowing a lot more. “You’re very cute together! No wonder you are always near each other!” Her eyes held genuine light in them. She was grasping at this distraction, but that didn’t mean it wasn’t genuine. She was latching onto something good to help calm the whirlwinds that were her thoughts towards Ye Xiu.

Qin Fu blushed deeper, but Yang Yinzhi broke into a smile. He leaned over and kissed Qin Fu’s cheek who responded with swatting his arm. Su Mucheng’s smile widened, and she was endeared with them. They all took a breath and Su Mucheng’s expression turned determined.

“We are going to take down Cui Li if it’s the last thing we do.” Her mind was already running through ways to push him down. Qin Fu, having recollected himself, spoke. “We must wait for whatever Ye Qiu decides on. He’s had enough choices taken from him. He should be the one to decide how and when to deal with Cui Li.”

Su Mucheng nodded, although her eyes looked distant as if remembering things from in the past. She shook her head before she went up to Qin Fu.

“Can I see the contract?” She likely meant the original one he had signed.

Qin Fu handed over the photocopy and she read it. It detailed how Ye Xiu wasn’t allowed to eat from the cafeteria. That he was to report to Cui Li each night after games or training. It detailed the beatings that were to be doled out for infractions of clauses. How each loss resulted in a certain number of kicks and punches and cuts and burns, and she traced the copied bloodstain with her finger, trying to will all the pain out of it, but it was useless.

She saw how Cui Li forced him to sign it. How confused he looked that first time. The pain in his eyes every time he was struck, and that determination she knew stemmed from protecting her. A wave of guilt washed over her, and she handed Qin Fu the contract. She stood at her window and gazed out at the Internet Café across the street. She would find herself doing so much more often after tonight. Her only consolation was that Ye Xiu was going to act; take justice. And just like in Glory, he finally wasn’t doing it alone.

Yang Yinzhi and Qin Fu asked if she needed anything, and she refused. They understood; these thoughts and feelings couldn’t be processed in the presence of others. Qin Fu told her they’d still be protecting her, unfortunately whether she liked it or not. She didn’t argue. She simply let out Ye Xiu’s secret of his name being Ye Xiu (which they knew).

Seeing that she was slightly calmer, the two men who knew it was not appropriate to stay in a young woman’s room for extended periods, said their goodbyes for the night. As the two left, all the evidence leaving with them to be placed somewhere safe and far away from Cui Li’s grubby hands, Yang Yinzhi turned to her.

“He is still the same person. Still the same older brother you know and love. He didn’t tell you because he didn’t want you to feel guilty; he wanted to keep being the same older brother to you. I know it’s not my place, but the best thing you might be able to do for him is treat him the same way you always have and do. Remind him that even though he’s been hurt and broken, it wasn’t pointless. He protected you and you still see him as his strong brave older brother.”

Su Mucheng stared at her reflection. “That’s wrong.”

Yang Yinzhi didn’t speak. She continued.

“He’s even more strong and brave than I thought.”

Yang Yinzhi smiled.

“And stupid!” She threw down with a fond smile that held no malice, blame, and only a trace of guilt.

Qin Fu couldn’t contain his laughter. “Pffft”

Yang Yinzhi glared at him.

“What? It’s true! Imagine what will happen when Han Wenqing finds out!”

Yang Yinzhi’s eyes widened and he looked at Su Mucheng who had a raised eyebrow like she was confused why Han Wenqing would care, or even find out for that matter.

Qin Fu, having realized that Ye Xiu hadn’t told her about him and Han Wenqing, sputtered and flushed, waving his hands, babbling like he was Huang Shaotian.

Yang Yinzhi dragged him out by the collar, saying “if anyone’s an stupid, it’s you!” and closing the door.

He had left their phone numbers and QQ’s on a little piece of paper on the table near her laptop and she programmed them into her phone. She resumed her staring, already planning on how to keep up her playful antics with Ye Xiu to show him their relationship hadn’t changed and would only grow stronger as he healed. She would find a way to start him healing.

She was also smiling happily at knowing she wasn’t the only one who knew Ye Xiu and Han Wenqing were dating.

The keyword though was “were”.

~~~~~ 

When Chen Guo said she’d gotten three tickets to all-stars, Ye Xiu sweat-dropped. He never liked the event, but he understood why it was so popular. But he no longer had to be a part of it and yet he had to go? He sighed in his heart but knew it was futile to argue to Chen Guo and it might do Tang Rou some good to see pros in action live.

Ye Xiu stretched carefully, noting that there was distinctly less aches or pains in his body. He’d been checking each morning (night for him) how his weight gain was going. His ribs no longer protruded from his body, pulling skin taut. His arms and legs no longer looked as if they were just thin muscles flat against bone. His stomach that was distended inwards was now flat. Other than the raised scars from where Cui Li had placed a few choice cuts, his stomach was smooth and in line with his chest and hips.

It was like he could breathe easier.

It was nice. He missed this feeling. It had been too long.

Getting his things, Ye Xiu followed Chen Guo and Tang Rou as they set out to arrive at Samsara’s stadium in another city.

Arriving at the stadium was a bit of a whiplash. It wasn’t too long ago that Ye Xiu had been here to play an official match against Samsara.

Finding their way to their seats, Ye Xiu couldn’t help but feel a spike of anxiety at the possible proximity to Cui Li who followed the team around sometimes like a personal bodyguard, and the proximity to Han Wenqing who’d made it into the all-stars list with ease.

He could only imagine the firestorm Han Wenqing would raise if he found out he was here.

He didn’t want to announce his presence, but at the same time, he knew he could no longer be a passive player in his own life. With Qin Fu and Yang Yinzhi watching over Mucheng, he knew he had to take steps to step forward back into the spotlight, this time on his own terms and safe from abuse.

Or, safe from Cui Li’s abuse. In exposing himself, he knew exactly who would be coming for him in Cui Li’s place. But it was time to stop retreating; advancing was the only option now.

Chen Guo chattered excitedly, but Ye Xiu remained quiet. He was only just healed and was still working on improving his health. Of course, he knew the dangers of the plan that had been newly forming in his head, but he truly saw no other options besides risking it all.

For Glory? Well, yes, but also for his sake and his family’s sake.

Ye Xiu watched the character introductions and subsequent simulated battles on 3-dimensional holographic screens, unconsciously contemplating the stadium’s escape routes as if he was already anticipating having to leave in a rush, unseen.

After the endless intros, the first event of all-stars began: Rookie challenge.

Ye Xiu wasn’t too invested in the first two matches. Dai Yanqi vs Chu Yunxiu was more of a greeting match than an actual competition. Not very notable in Ye Xiu’s opinion.

Gao Yingjie vs Wang Jiexi was much more notable but still not something Ye Xiu was getting emotional about or anything. He saw quite quickly how Wang Jiexi had reduced his skill points and let Gao Yingjie win. He’d admit it was impressive just how dedicated the man was to improving other people, even at the cost of himself. Maybe him and Wang Jiexi were similar in this area. He doubted to the same extent though. Wang Jiexi was guiding while Ye Xiu had been actively physically protecting. It was a different caliber overall, but Wang Jiexi was no one to scoff at.

Ye Xiu missed his Magician style. It was much more interesting.

Despite all the harm Ye Xiu had come to, his passion for Glory never ceased.

Up in the player booths, Yu Wenzhou discussed his same observations with Huang Shaotian. Once he’d made his ideas clear, another inquiry slipped past his lips.

“Did Ye Qiu come?” He wanted to know if Ye Qiu’s trauma extended to the extent of avoiding anywhere Excellent Era might be. Although considering Huang Shaotian had visited Ye Qiu when they were in Hangzhou, he still seemed to be close by.

Yu Wenzhou didn’t actually expect Ye Qiu to come. He had always disliked all-stars, so it was likely he’d avoid it for this reason alone. But he’d really wanted to have a chance to check up on Ye Qiu in person. There were just too many things worrying him about the man to let slide.

Huang Shaotian said “How would I know?” And immediately turned to whistle at Su Mucheng over in Excellent Era’s booth.

He was deliberately ignored by her though.

Yu Wenzhou laughed as Huang Shaotian flew into a verbal rage and waved at the confused players at Excellent Era’s booth, carefully checking to see if any of the names that were on his “list of possible abusers” was present.

Liu Hao was present, but he had already been neatly crossed off the mental list out of sheer stupidity. The man would have bragged about beating Ye Qiu if he’d done so; he was that kind of idiot.

The others remained out of sight and Yu Wenzhou’s belief it was upper management grew stronger. He’d discuss with the group chat during break.

The next battle caught Ye Xiu’s eye for the simple fact it was Qiao Yifan. When he heard who he wanted to challenge was Li Xuan, the number one phantom demon, Ye Xiu sighed in his heart, knowing it would lead to disappointment for the boy. He also felt that sickeningly familiar itch of anxiety crawl its way up his throat. If Qiao Yifan embarrassed himself here, would he be bullied more at Tiny Herb? Would they go so far as to beat him, cut him, force him to leave…

Those sounded an awful lot more like Ye Xiu’s thoughts about himself than about Qiao Yifan, but they were valid concerns regardless.

Ye Xiu felt the urge for a cigarette but knew from experience it was banned in the stadium. He distracted himself watching the fight, but it sadly ended as tragically as he expected. There were some good moments, but it was truly a sad spectacle.

Excusing himself from his seat with the excuse to smoke (that of course wasn’t an entire lie), Ye Xiu expertly maneuvered backstage unseen.

Tang Rou and Chen Guo watched him go, the latter asking, “do you think it was too much for him?”

Tang Rou had recognized Qiao Yifan’s One Inch Ash character and surmised Ye Xiu was going to offer support, but they’d deduced a while ago that Ye Xiu smoked for more reasons than just addiction. It was a coping mechanism for his bad thoughts of experiences he’d likely rather forget. Tang Rou shrugged, unable to guess Ye Xiu’s motive and just hoped he’d be alright. He always seemed to be, even as he continued to gain weight and heal, but she knew it was never the whole truth.

Backstage, Qiao Yifan got lost after endlessly berating himself and putting himself down.

Just as he was about to either laugh or cry, he heard a voice say “you were too reckless”.

Qiao Yifan feared it was someone from his team come to cajole him, but it wasn’t a voice he recognized even as he attempted to leave.

The voice stopped him and pointed out his flawed logic in challenging Li Xuan to display his strength. It wasn’t demeaning, but rather encouraging; like a coach trying to bring forward someone’s full potential…

“God Ye Qiu!” Qiao Yifan suddenly realized.

“Yeah, it’s me.”

Ye Xiu continued to encourage him, saying Glory wasn’t so simple. That he was strong still and would excel in the future in other areas, especially team matches and with additional practice.

Encouraged, Qiao Yifan expressed his thanks. Ye Xiu could see in his eyes his fortitude and determination. With keen eyes, Ye Xiu assessed for physical damage of any sort but found nothing obvious. If he was being bullied, it was likely verbally or through passive neglect, but with the mental strength he’d come to possess after growing in confidence alongside Ye Xiu, it was unlikely to affect him as strongly.

Maybe Ye Xiu should have words with Wang Jiexi regardless?

Qiao Yifan interrupted his musings by asking, “Senior, why did you choose to retire so early?”

“I’m looking for an opportunity. I’m not done yet.” Ye Xiu replied with a somewhat rueful smile. He wasn’t done with Glory, and he wasn’t done trying to win over those who had pushed him down.

With this, Ye Xiu left. Qiao Yifan fumbled a bit before making his way back to his seat.

Ye Xiu returned, having smoked his cigarettes before and after meeting with Qiao Yifan, and sat down as the next rookie match was about to be underway.

The arrogant and uppity rookie Tang Hao declared his intention to succeed his senior in terms of Glory class and on the wind howl team, Lin Jingyan.

If Ye Xiu had any comparison to make, aside from the obvious challenge to the same class Senior as Gao Yingjie made, it was to Liu Hao.

They were both far too proud for their own good, unable to see their flaws and believing they were the best of the best and willing to do anything to showcase this. However, Liu Hao’s ways were scummier while Tang Hao was righteous in all the worst ways.

Tang Hao made mistakes but Lin Jingyan’s decreased speed due to age made it so these mistakes weren’t detrimental. Ultimately, Lin Jingyan lost as he expected.

It was expected but still disheartening. They exited the booths and greeted again on stage, Lin Jingyan praising Tang Hao genuinely but with a tight self-deprecating smile.

Tang Hao, the righteous little shit, simply repeated that the junior succeeded the senior.

Ye Xiu thought, too arrogant! Although the boy was skilled, there was no reason to be so disrespectful. Gao Yingjie and Wang Jiexi had a similar match, but the young rookie had never even so much as looked at Wang Jiexi with a hint of loathing like Tang Hao did Lin Jingyan.

It felt a little too similar to the way Cui Li looked down on Ye Xiu when he lost a match.

Another cigarette might be nice, Ye Xiu thought, thinking of excusing himself again, but when the next rookie was announced, his words died in his throat.

Sun Xiang on One Autumn Leaf versus Han Wenqing on Desert Dust.

An old rivalry that was more out of respect than anyone realized.

Sun Xiang walked in stage loftily, exuding arrogance out of every pore. There had always been a note of an intimidating aura to Sun Xiang similar to that of Han Wenqing, but his more unruly as if he hadn’t yet fully come into himself and was still playing at being a delinquent while Han Wenqing was calm and exuded an intimidation in the most calm and collected way until he was able to knock you out with his words.

In short, Sun Xiang was a second-generation rich kid trying to play at being dangerous but only succeeded in being arrogant and then whiny when things didn’t work out in his favor.

He wasn’t mature at all!

Although if he was too respectful it would be conceited, he opted for brute arrogance instead. He was trying to match Han Wenqing for intimidation and toughness? Good fucking luck.

His reasoning for challenging Han Wenqing? To settle a grudge he had no claim to in an attempt to take over all aspects of Ye Xiu’s persona.

Ye Xiu didn’t mind most of it but there were two roles he outright refused to attach to Sun Xiang. The first one being Han Wenqing’s rival, the second being Cui Li’s punching bag.

Many fans believed Sun Xiang had the right to claim this rivalry and were itching for the oldest rivalry to continue enough to pawn it off to the next Excellent Era captain. No one understood the true meaning except Ye Xiu and Han Wenqing.

Stoically, Han Wenqing approached the stage. As he walked, he looked utterly calm, and he was about the match itself. As if some uppity little shit who just recently switched to a battle mage was his opponent after Ye Qiu had been for literal years. Don’t get him wrong, he knew Sun Xiang was talented in terms of mechanics and he’d have a great career ahead of him, but no one except Ye Qiu knew battle mages better than Han Wenqing.

It was the little fucker’s attitude that was pissing him off, but it was very much more the continued underlying betrayal of Ye Qiu retiring and breaking up with him that pissed him off.

No word. No indication. No idea as to why these things happened and he wanted to know. He felt like he was missing something extremely important but every time he tried to think about it, the thoughts slipped away from him.

Han Wenqing respected Ye Qiu; he didn’t have any respect for Sun Xiang. It held a heavy amount of “yet” to it, but if his attitude and outlook on Glory never changed, he was doomed.

Han Wenqing ascended the steps onto the stage calmly. Sun Xiang at least had enough etiquette to greet him respectfully.

“Please advise me senior.”

“It’s an honor.” Han Wenqing replied automatically and emotionlessly. His thoughts were on if Ye Qiu was watching this live from somewhere. He wanted to believe Ye Qiu was in the audience, but knew the man was more likely to show his face online than show up anywhere near where Han Wenqing was at the moment. He seemed determined to avoid a conversation.

The host wanted to question Han Wenqing, but the cold gaze he was met with dissuaded him. Those eyes held an unspoken fury so icy it could probably freeze someone’s heart where they stood.

Ye Xiu stared down at Han Wenqing’s back. Standing right before him, Han Wenqing was out of reach. Ye Xiu had been the one to create the distance and always tried to justify it with the intention of keeping Han Wenqing safe. Because even now, Ye Xiu felt his heartbeat speed up in a good way rather than with anxiety. He felt his mouth go dry and his chest ache with longing.

It’s not you, Ye Xiu thought. It was always me.

He longed to say this to Han Wenqing because he could see the blame in his eyes. All these things unsaid between them were caused by Ye Xiu and he knew it. He didn’t know how to say it or how he’d even want Han Wenqing to react to it.

He just wanted to be free of the curses he’d tied to himself.

Part of the reason he never objected to Cui Li’s second contract or Tao Xuan’s plot to oust him was because he couldn’t keep pretending the pain away anymore.

In front of Han Wenqing, he felt exposed as if he was transparent and was about to expose his carefully hidden secrets and enjoy the relief it provided.

But where would that have left Han Wenqing? Left to pick up the broken pieces Ye Xiu had been holding together on his own while in danger himself.

All because of Ye Xiu.

Tang Rou looked and recognized the look of heartache on Ye Xiu’s face as he gazed at the man named Han Wenqing on stage who was walking towards his booth.

She seemed to have a revelation as she looked between the two.

At first, she thought maybe he was the abuser, but there was not fear on Ye Xiu’s expression. And didn’t the announcer say the man was from Tyranny?

She filed this information away for later and focused on the match.

As expected, in terms of mechanics, they were on par. But as Han Wenqing predicted, the boy was too green.

Sun Xiang seriously hadn’t expected to lose, he had such extravagant confidence in his abilities it was a little sad he was so unrealistic. Han Wenqing had been calm but he was seething, ready to move forward for when Ye Qiu would return.

Bring back my best friend, my best rival, my only lover, his thoughts were persistently saying.

There was a valid reason Han Wenqing was known as the Tyrant. He was ruthless and directly called out all the rookies trying to surpass their seniors, praised Sun Xiang, but insulted him too. Ye Qiu wouldn’t have missed that Rising Dragon.

He didn’t say more after calling him green to his face out of fear of revealing too much of his real feelings of disdain at the way Sun Xiang tried to step into Ye Qiu’s life as if he was truly gone.

He said a tactical retreat, he’d be back, and he’d find him, and they’d have an actual human conversation thank you very much.

Han Wenqing returned to his seat feeling Sun Xiang’s furious gaze following him but completely missing the longing gaze directed at him from the audience seat.

There was one more match afterwards, but it could be said to have been lackluster due entirely to the previous shows rather than the pros being bad. Once it was over, after some raffles and the like, the first day ended.

All the pros snuck away through backstage passages before they could be assuaged by fans and went their respective ways for tomorrow’s events.

Ye Xiu, Chen Guo, and Tang Rou all returned to their hotel rooms to eat and then play Glory. They went to sleep after but woke up early to continue to play. Ye Xiu really had ruined Tang Rou for anything other than Glory.

They ate breakfast before heading out again. The second day was going to be a little less interesting for Ye Xiu and the rest of the pros out of the sheer lack of actual effort it would be for the pros to defeat normal players in a multitude of games.

~~~~~

Swoksaar (Yu Wenzhou): Does anyone know if Senior Ye is attending this year’s All-star?

Vaccaria (Wang Jiexi): I am not aware if he is. I assumed if anyone knew it would be you with how close Huang Shaotian seems to have been with Ye Qiu in the past.

Immovable Rock (Zhang Xinjie): Ask Su Mucheng?

Swoksaar (Yu Wenzhou): Shaotian tried. She’s being rather tight lipped, and I believe she’s avoiding Shaotian now.

Immovable Rock (Zhang Xinjie): Maybe it’s better if he stays away. If our theories are correct, Excellent Era won’t take too kindly to him randomly showing up here.

Vaccaria (Wang Jiexi): That’s true. Do you think Su Mucheng might also be in danger then?

Swoksaar (Yu Wenzhou): You raise a fair point I’ve been meaning to discuss. We’ve been wondering why Ye Qiu could end up in this situation, but maybe it was for someone else as well? In my memory, Ye Qiu has never been weak. He only follows along with people if it’s in his and those he cares abouts’ best interests…

Immovable Rock (Zhang Xinjie): That certainly doesn’t bode well for Su Mucheng then.

Vaccaria (Wang Jiexi): It certainly doesn’t. What should we do?

Swoksaar (Yu Wenzhou): All we can do for now is hope Ye Qiu stays away and look out for Su Mucheng.

~~~~~

As Zhang Xinjie exited the “Ye Qiu Investigative Squad” chat from the previous day, he looked over at Han Wenqing.

Ye Qiu didn’t do anything without a reason. Was he only protecting Su Mucheng?

Zhang Xinjie could only sigh. He’d really gotten himself into some tedious matters this time around. It was totally going to mess up his schedule.

~~~~~

Zhou Zekai came on stage and after hilariously making the host sweat-drop with his inability to talk or understand hu-mans, the first event of the day began.

Ye Xiu was barely paying attention, but Chen Guo was very enthusiastic with her binoculars. She even went to far as to look up at Excellent Era’s player booth to maybe catch a glimpse of Su Mucheng, only to discover that Su Mucheng had a pair of binoculars and was staring in their direction and waving. There wasn’t anything interesting over here though?

She completely missed Ye Xiu waving back at her.

She brought Su Mucheng up to Ye Xiu.

Mucheng was just too smart. He didn’t tell her he was coming, but she seemed to have known. Maybe she was even responsible for Chen Guo getting the tickets?

He didn’t dare speculate, but it was possible. He felt a rise of anxiety at the thought that he no longer knew everything that Mucheng was doing. What if… no. No, stop those thoughts. She’s a grown woman.

He just hoped she wouldn’t make him go on stage…

Zhou Zekai naturally won hurdles without any suspense.

Of course, the next event had Su Mucheng participating.

At first, she was completely tame and had the system pick randomly. Two people were picked this way and Ye Xiu was enduring Chen Guo’s disappointment at not being picked while simultaneously trying to control his anxiety when Su Mucheng indicated she was going to switch methods.

She picked their area, their row, and Chen Guo’s seat, then she said she wants to pick one of their neighboring seats to hope the two came together.

Ye Xiu logically knew that Mucheng wouldn’t likely call him up. She probably wanted to have his friends come up; she’d been playing with Tang Rou for quite a while and had heard a decent amount about Chen Guo. He knew this.

But he still clenched the armrests of his seat, his jaw, his abdomen, summoning the fading pain from everywhere back to the surface.

She picked Tang Rou’s seat.

He didn’t breathe out in relief until Chen Guo and Tang Rou were in front of the cameras on stage and away from him.

Chen Guo was quite obviously in heaven. Tang Rou was very composed. Ye Xiu began to calm down.

The event was actually quite interesting. Of course, the pros fought each other and made it to the top, Su Mucheng winning, but there was fighting between Tang Rou and Chen Guo with another audience member attempting to sabotage them.

Tang Rou ultimately defeated him, and Chen Guo and Tang Rou helped each other up.

Ye Xiu watched on, pleasantly surprised at the feelings the whole thing evoked. While he knew there wasn’t a lot of skill necessarily involved for the audience members, it certainly wasn’t impossible. But Chen Guo and Tang Rou looked out for each other and then proceeded to help each other reach the top.

It was as if Su Mucheng was trying to tell someone that when things go wrong, there were others around to help out…

Ye Xiu swallowed thickly. Did Mucheng know?

He left for a quick smoke as Chen Guo and Tang Rou made their way back to their seats. He left and returned before they even noticed he was gone. He’d only taken a puff before returning.

After they returned there was an event with Huang Shaotian and some other pros. Tang Rou had also finally recognized that Su Mucheng was the girl who she’d seen visiting the Internet cafe and brought it up when Chen Guo got up to go to the restroom.

She guessed Huang Shaotian was Flowing Tree and then correctly assumed he was that God Ye Qiu.

She pestered him about his name and reasoning slightly, but he could only refuse for the time being. She asked if she could tell Chen Guo, and Ye Xiu said he already did; she didn’t believe him.

It was understandable really. Maybe she’d even feel like her dreams were crushed if someone like Ye Xiu was her hero.

It also brought up the major problem in Tang Rou’s mind of someone in an actual Alliance Club had been abusing Ye Xiu.

If she joined the pro scene… no. Ye Xiu wasn’t going to let anything happen to her. If he had gone so far for… he’d been protecting Su Mucheng hadn’t he… if he had gone so far for her and likely the rest of his team he’d do the same for her. But before that even happened he would do everything in his power to prevent from being in that sort of situation to begin with.

He may not always come across as kind, but he was indeed much kinder than he was given credit for.

And she’d go as far as to say they were friends. If the relationship between Ye Xiu and that drunken idiot who had come by was that bad and he still endured such things for that guy’s sake, he quite literally would do anything for Tang Rou as well.

She felt a little guilty about that thought. She knew she herself was no pushover and wouldn’t let someone take advantage of her (they’d pay a heavy price physically and financially if they did) but it was good to know there was someone else looking out for her. She had to return the favor to Ye Xiu too.

Su Mucheng probably felt the same… if she knew about everything that is, which was a little unlikely.

Ye Xiu seemed to read her thoughts and smiled. He always appeared calm on the outside, but Tang Rou was beginning to believe he didn’t always feel it on the inside.

Once the final of the mini game events had ended, it was time for the much-anticipated Player vs Pro battles. At this announcement, Tang Rou felt very eager to go up and give it a try. Ye Xiu saw this and had a good and bad feeling of foreboding.

It was good for her but also worrying with her determination to win and lack of experience in backing down. As expected, she very quickly pressed the button indicating she wanted to participate and luckily due to her speed she was the one picked by the system.

She made her way to the stage and of course the host remembered her. Her luck surely wasn’t ordinary. Ye Xiu knew it wasn’t entirely luck; the hosts may have rigged it so if she pressed the button she was going to be picked since she displayed immense skill and many of the pro teams probably had their eyes on her.

Chen Guo returned from the bathroom and exclaimed happily at Tang Rou’s fortune.

Of course, Tang Rou couldn’t beat Du Ming, Samsara’s Blademaster, with skill. She was too green still and had to use her hand speed to her advantage, ultimately winning her the round!

Du Ming, out of embarrassment, challenged her again and again. He won the rematch, Tang Rou won the third match somehow, they started up a fourth match as the host came over to Chen Guo and Ye Xiu to grovel for their help in getting her down to continue the event.

Ye Xiu could feel Du Ming’s shame and knew that Tang Rou wouldn’t leave anytime soon.

“I’ll call her down.” He said to the host and Chen Guo.

Ye Xiu asked if he could get there from a certain direction and the host nodded. He went to the little latter he was very familiar with to the player booth, the host scratching his head about how he knew it was there. It was as if he was very familiar with this stage!

Du Ming was the one initiating matches at this point, Tang Rou all too eager to continue. Many of the pros, minus Samsara’s players, wanted to roll on the floor laughing. What poor luck!

Du Ming had won three matches in a row before Ye Xiu got to Tang Rou, putting a hand over the one on her mouse to stop her from initiating again.

“That’s enough!”

“I can win.”

“You can win, but he can too. You’ve already proven you can, what’s the point now?”

“I can beat him!”

“But he’ll have won more matches. Him and his character will have won in the end.”

Tang Rou eventually conceded. Her and Ye Xiu were about to leave when Du Ming, in very Liu Hao fashion, called out a taunt from across the stage.

“What’s wrong? You don’t dare fight me?”

Very arrogant coming from the guy who lost two matches to a girl who’s only been playing Glory for a month.

He wanted Tang Rou to admit defeat to save his face, but such words were enough to rile Tang Rou up. Seeing this, Ye Xiu suggested he give it a try.

He had been thinking about this. He had been hiding all this time, but he would have to come back into the spotlight to return. If he did it subtly, it would open up Mucheng to subtle attacks. If he was big and bold, then maybe it would be just explosive enough to dissuade Cui Li from making a move.

Cui Li might react explosively to the whole endeavor and if he was too open about it, it’d cause him issues. His greatest friend was that Ye Xiu had tacitly agreed to keeping things on the downlow. If he was too open, he’d be in trouble. And with the added protection to Su Mucheng, Cui Li couldn’t do anything openly or behind closed doors. It’d probably drive him crazy and, in the future, reinforce that he was an abusive bastard if he acted awfully in front of Tao Xuan, who despite being a scheming bastard was not someone who enjoyed pain.

Ye Xiu sat down and put his hands on the keys. He let his fingers dance across them with light taps before putting on the headset with a slight “hello”.

“Who are you???” Du Ming asked into his mic which was broadcast over the stadium speakers.

“The main player is tired. I’m the substitute.”

The audience laughed and Du Ming was depressed.

“Are you ready?” Ye Xiu asked.

“You have to log in first.” Du Ming said.

“Oh, my bad! One sec!” Ye Xiu turned to Tang Rou. “Give me the account card!”

“No need! I’ll fight him!”

“Don’t be fussy, hurry up and give it to me!”

“I refuse.”

The audience continued to laugh. They must have deliberately gotten someone funny.

Ye Xiu got the card and continued trying to distract people from trying to see who exactly he was by using entertainment.

“What kind of skill distribution is this??” Ye Xiu teased, slipping slightly more into his arrogance. He was enjoying himself though. His thoughts had led him to a state of peace with the situation and he actually looked forward to taking this step forward.

The match started. Of course, within a few seconds and exchanges of skills, every pro player could tell this person was an expert.

Even the audience was dumbstruck and able to tell that this new player was beyond skilled!

Samsara’s players were worried for Du Ming. He should fight back!

“No opportunities.” Said Zhou Zekai simply.

At Excellent Era’s booth, Su Mucheng was still giggling from the initial exchange.

They continued to fight until Ye Xiu released a few consecutive high level dragon skills, Du Ming expertly dodged above, going higher and higher as he avoided or was hit by attacks. 

Du Ming managed to avoid this skill and was just coming up with a plan to counterattack using this opening when the dragon turned its head and raised upwards to gobble him up.

“Dragon raising its head? WHO’S ON STAGE?!!” The stunned silent audience heard Han Wenqing’s furious yell.

Dragon raising its head? That micro-ing technique that only one person in the pro scene had ever done? The technique that only God Ye Qiu could do!!??!?

The audience erupted in shouting. All the pros concluded it was Ye Qiu. Huang Shaotian wanted a replay. Liu Hao was just depressed. Sun Xiang felt wronged. He was supposed to have replaced a washed-up player, but the man could still do this amazing technique he hadn’t done in two years?! No wonder Han Wenqing had said that if it was Ye Qiu, the dragon wouldn’t have missed!

The dragon hadn’t actually killed Du Ming’s character, but it had certainly killed his fighting spirit. He lost without any further suspense.

The broadcasting team immediately attempted to show the player booth to catch a glimpse of this player, this Ye Qiu, but both the participants were gone! Just the headset and account card remained!

Chen Guo’s shock was the same as everyone else’s. She immediately recognized Ye Qiu’s specialty, but she knew exactly who it was up there.

“Let me tell you a secret. I’m actually Ye Qiu.”

That sentence! He’d said it the first night they met. Chen Guo’s response? “Yeah? And I’m Su Mucheng.” A blatant lie.

But he hadn’t been lying.

Tang Rou emerged on the stage alone.

“And him?” The host asked her.

“Who him?”

“Your friend!”

“Oh, that guy. He went to the restroom.”

Of course, if this was really Ye Qiu they weren’t likely to see him. Yu Wenzhou silently celebrated the man’s experience at playing cat and mouse with cameras. At least Cui Li wouldn’t be able to find him.

Both him and Huang Shaotian looked over to Excellent Era’s side. Su Mucheng was nowhere to be found and Sun Xiang’s expression was very ugly.

Huang Shaotian lamented that maybe Ye Qiu and Han Wenqing were in cahoots. Maybe they planned for Sun Xiang to lose with that move only for Ye Qiu to win with it after?

One look at Han Wenqing’s furious expression and penetrating eyes trying to pierce through the player booth walls quelled those thoughts quickly.

Han Wenqing had a thought. He hadn’t used Dragon raises its heads for two years. Was he saying he would raise his head? Was it just a declaration of his return or something more?

Tang Rou returned to her seat before immediately being bombarded with inquires of Ye Xiu’s identity as Ye Qiu. Chen Guo made the executive decision to leave with Tang Rou who followed obediently.

Outside Samsara’s stadium, Ye Xiu smoked a cigarette. Mucheng had beat him outside and was wearing her disguise.

“Want to grab some ice cream?” Mucheng asked innocently.

Ye Xiu would always be shocked at Mucheng’s love of cold treats on cold days.

Mucheng skipped ahead after having Ye Xiu confirm the store was opened with her pair of binoculars to confirm that she wasn’t attempting to lure him away from the stadium with a false claim.

Ye Xiu walked with his hands in his pockets and stared up at the clouded sky, watching as his breath emerged in plumes.

He had a painted smile on as his only alibi. He had this disconcerting thought that Mucheng knew more than she was letting on and the shadows hanging over him were immense. With this declaration of returning, what was Cui Li thinking? What would he do? He’d borrow Mucheng’s phone to reach out to Qin Fu and Yang Yinzhi when he had a chance. He wouldn’t allow anything to happen to Mucheng. He hoped to keep her out of everything for as long as he could.  

All the things he’d left unsaid, as much as he wished there was someone who understood, he knew it was futile and ultimately wished that no one close to him would ever have to witness him in such a state. All the hurt he felt inside from the abuse, he learned to hide. He told himself everything bad that had happened to him was a lie in an effort to get through each day.

Each and every day, he was held hostage in his head by the things he tried to tell himself were false just so he didn’t have to prove to anyone that they weren’t pretend. He left everything unsaid for a reason. It was easier this way.

Ye Xiu felt himself relax as the familiar numbness settled over his heart and he playfully stuck his finger in Mucheng’s ice cream. Today, right here, right now, they were no longer colleagues, they were simply siblings.

~~~~~

Tang Rou and Chen Guo had returned to the hotel and were frustratingly worried about him. Or, Chen Guo was really worried about him, and Tang Rou was generally keeping her worry under wraps as she had a feeling he would return. That he just needed some time to calm himself.

When he finally returned, he was completely nonchalant. As if he didn’t just confirm his identity to Chen Guo.

“What’s with ‘Ye Xiu’?” she asked. He refused to reveal that. She didn’t push. Now that she knew he was God Ye Qiu, she could finally get all the details on his…

Oh, dear god…

Not only was he God Ye Qiu, but he was very clearly an abuse victim. Tang Rou hadn’t confirmed it in so many words but it was confirmed nonetheless between them as they discussed it on occasion. Someone at Excellent Era had been abusing their Captain and Ace player. Unbelievable! Truly! She was horrified!

Chen Guo had no idea exactly the power imbalance that existed there, but she had seen how thin Ye Xiu was and sometimes she’d catch glimpses of scars all over his body when he moved certain ways wearing certain clothing. It was horrifying to think that just across the street, monsters were lurking.

And why hadn’t he gone far? If this person was willing to attack him, there’s no way Su Mucheng was safe! Chen Guo expressed her concerns, perhaps missing the flash of panic and pain that crossed Ye Xiu’s expression, but he waved her off.

“Is there a computer?” he’d asked. When it was given an affirmative and led to it, he sat down and opened QQ. He shot off a quick message to Qin Fu and Yang Yinzhi, who likely had already heard of the news because they often traveled with the team, so they would be able to provide as much protection for Su Mucheng as possible. If they didn’t, Ye Xiu already knew he’d abandon everything he knew and loved just to get her out of there safely. No matter what.

They sent back confirmation, settling both Ye Xiu and Chen Guo’s nerves, and Ye Xiu, attempting to remain unruffled, offered to play Glory with Tang Rou. She obliged and they continued their quest to level up, Tang Rou now more fiercely holding onto the idea that she can join the pro alliance, perhaps even with Ye Xiu by her side.

In another hotel, a meeting Ye Xiu definitely wouldn’t approve of was occurring.

~~~~~

Marching like a general, flanked by two soldiers, Mucheng made her way through the halls of the hotel all of Excellent Era was staying at. Her soldiers, who she felt at least one was more of a scout or spy than an infantryman, had made sure that most all the members of the team were on a different floor while management was on another. With the flurry of activity Ye Xiu’s surprise dragon raises its head caused, Tao Xuan was in a flurry to calm down a livid Sun Xiang with Liu Hao as a perpetuator with his gremlin henchmen at his back to keep things well worked up.

General Mucheng hadn’t planned that, just threw all the ingredients into the bowl and waited until they boiled. Maybe she was more of a chef than a general. *Chef’s kiss* She’d thought as she heard the screaming match beyond a door on a floor below here before she entered the elevator and pressed another floor’s button.

One member of management was conveniently missing. He was called to his own room to attend to important business.

This person? Cui Li of course.

Mucheng exited the elevator with Qin Fu and Yang Yinzhi at her sides, guarding her flanks, supporting her silently as they moved to fight this mutual fight. 

Yang Yinzhi flicked his wrist and in his palm appeared a hotel key card. It wasn’t his, nor anyone else’s that walked with him. It was Cui Li’s.

A classic magician’s trick involving misdirection, a little sleight of hand to lift the card and store it seamlessly in the sleeve of his coat and they had their way in. It would have raised suspicion to request another keycard to a room they themselves weren’t sleeping in, but it wasn’t weird for Cui Li to request a card to his own room.

Yang Yinzhi took a few fast step forwards to surge ahead of Mucheng. It could have been taken as the man taking charge, but it was quite the opposite. Yang Yinzhi swiped the card in the reader and opened the door, striding in, but stepping to the side in order to allow Mucheng to be the one to lead the charge. He was just clearing her path.

“Su Mucheng? What are you…?” Cui Li froze when he saw the expression on her face. Her lips were all smiles, but it was an exceedingly fake smile that didn’t reach her eyes at all. And the expression in her eyes was one of fury, simmering, a rolling boil, just waiting to be given just that much more heat in order to boil and then boil over. But it wasn’t hot fury, it was cold fury. Fury that promised only ruthlessness. It was not an expression anyone was used to see on a girl, let alone a beauty like Mucheng.

“What am I doing? I could ask you the same thing. Just what have you been doing all this time?” Yang Yinzhi had shut the door as soon as Qin Fu had crossed the threshold to make sure no one would see or hear them.

Cui Li stood up at the icy tone ill-becoming of the character Mucheng usually portrayed.

“‘The signatory agrees that any team losses will result in punishment up to the discretion of the contract binder.’ ‘The signatory shall have no access to company supplies or resources that extend beyond their scope of use for playing the game ‘Glory’.’ ‘The signatory shall not disclose any information regarding the existence of, details of, nor the circumstances regarding the creation of the contract. Failure to adhere to any stipulations regarding punishment or privacy will result in the contract binder having unfettered access to the signatory’s asset “Su Mucheng” as well as the signatory.’ Do any of these phrases ring a bell?” Mucheng recited lines from the contract Qin Fu had photocopied. She’d read them and nearly thrown up at the implications of them. Not only was she treated as an object, but it was quite the blatant rape threat, almost bordering on selling her into slavery. And in the fine print, it was suggested that Ye Xiu was subject to the same fate on top of the physical abuse and overall neglect.

Qin Fu had held that copy of the contract and studied some stains that bordered the edges that he’d seen on the original copy. When he came to the conclusion that Cui Li had ejaculated on the contract while reliving the high the power trip over Ye Xiu gave him, he had to open a window to stop the dry heaving and trembling that had overtaken him.

Cui Li’s expression was a carefully blank mask.

“Ms. Su, I have no idea what you’re saying. That is a heinous contract created by someone who-“

“You created it. We have the video evidence that you’re the one who created that exact contract but forced Ye Qiu to sign it.”

Qin Fu thrust his phone in Cui Li’s face, playing a video of Cui Li creating the contract at his desk, the camera having perfect clarity of exactly what it was backed up by a video in the corner of the room showing it was Cui Li. Then it played the video of Cui Li forcing him to sign it, cut with a hidden camera recording once Cui Li left the room. The trio had found multiple hidden cameras covertly placed all throughout Excellent Era, but they had no doubt that they’d missed a few.

Cui Li worried his lip between his teeth. This was damning. The video was clearly un-doctored minus the jump cuts to different views, and he was truly the culprit.

“What do you want?” He ventured to hear what they wanted, mind racing to find a solution or concede their demands if they were reasonable.

Mucheng’s gaze never wavered. “These contracts are void. You will not harm Ye Qiu, these two guards, myself, or any other team members and employees at Excellent Era. Harm includes physically, emotionally, verbally, sexually, and everything in between. In return, I will not expose every video of you beating and otherwise torturing Ye Qiu to the public, nor will I have the police come and take you away for these crimes. You will quit at your earliest possible convenience.”

Cui Li listened. They were mostly reasonable. He definitely stood to lose more, no matter what, and he knew that because that was the kind of power he sought to have over people.

“I accept your conditions.. except for the last one.”

“Why?” Qin Fu demanded, clenching his fist.

“Were I to quit, according to my employment contract with Tao Xuan, a full investigation must take place to determine if something unsavory occurred. As you’re well aware,” he gestured to Qin Fu’s phone that held the evidence, “not only would it expose me, but it would also expose you, making this entire thing pointless.” The bastard had the nerve to look smug.

Fire rose in Mucheng’s eyes, ready to lash out, to strike, to be everything she didn’t want to be and wasn’t, when Yang Yinzhi spoke up.

“When does your contract expire?”

Cui Li smiled. No wonder they were able to break into his office and briefcase and cameras, they were smarter than they looked. “My contract expires just before the beginning of season 10 of the official league games.”

Yang Yinzhi nodded. “You will not renew your contract nor sign on with any other team in any sort of position.”

Cui Li conceded.

He extended his hand, and Mucheng stared at it with such viciousness, it wouldn’t be a stretch to say she looked like she wished it would burst into flames. She clasped his hand and they shook. She could feel Cui Li’s heart thundering. She had to suppress the urge to shudder because she couldn’t decide if it was thundering because of fear, or because of the physical touch the handshake instigated.

She didn’t think she wanted to know.

She let go and turned to leave, her soldiers falling into step behind her, shielding her from the back as she marched bravely away, having just guaranteed a period of peace.

But only a temporary one.

~~~~~

(It was good they left the floor when they did. Then they didn’t hear the way Cui Li screamed in frustration and smashed things in the hotel room. They didn’t hear how he cursed Ye Xiu, said Ye Qiu, and Mucheng, and Sun Xiang. Didn’t see how he pulled at his hair and then looked down at his hand where he’d gotten to touch Su Mucheng and knew that she held power over him. Didn’t see how he tried to remove that hand with a piece of rope wrapped around his wrist before he stopped and stared at it because the more he thought about it, the more he realized that that hand that touched his was one that had touched Ye Qiu, one that had had access to his power quarry. They didn’t see the way he tugged at himself with that hand until he ejaculated. Didn’t hear the way he laughed himself into a cough before utter silence echoed until he stood up, washed his hands, cleaned up his mess, straightened his room, and went to sleep. He would have to come up with a way out of the corner he had been driven into.)

~~~~~

Ye Xiu couldn’t attend the final day of all-stars. He didn’t mind. Truly, he hated all-stars. He was fine to just sit in the hotel room and play Glory. He stayed up most of the night and then got up at a relatively decent time, since Tang Rou and Chen Guo went out for the day to tour the city a little. They brought him food and Chen Guo continued her tirade of interrogating questions until it was time to head to the stadium.

Ye Xiu got on Glory but had the all-stars livestream playing in the background. It wasn’t for the sake of seeing all the pros play since it was just a match for fun, it was to see one specific pro. Well, maybe two.

With his revelation of his return, he wished to check up on how people were doing. He saw Mucheng waving at the camera on the news, smiling brightly. It was lovely to see her smile so wide. The whole world could tell just how excited she was by the prospect of him returning and they tried to get information on it, but she only played innocent and confused and Ye Xiu could only smile at the cunning girl.

Then he saw Tang Rou and Chen Guo end up on the news and had to suppress a laugh when they both said that he was just there randomly and that they didn’t know each other. This was their agreed upon response to avoid drawing suspicion.

Ye Xiu didn’t see them lasting long at the event because of the trouble his past presence stirred up, but regardless, he hoped they enjoyed themselves.

Ye Xiu kept glancing at the screen though, waiting to see that one person.

He had seen the man’s response just yesterday. His forceful “I’m awaiting your return.” statement very bold. As expected of the most feared Captain Han!

When cameras panned to Tyranny’s area, Zhang Xinjie had a contemplative look but Han Wenqing’s took Ye Xiu’s breath away.

Although he looked composed on the outside, his eyes were stormy. Not just angry though.

Ye Xiu knew him well enough to see the pain, the resentment, the confusion.

He knew that the only emotions that remained in Han Wenqing’s heart at this point were only negative. All their positive interactions weren’t enough to outweigh the negatives of Ye Xiu’s continued betrayal. In Han Wenqing’s eyes, maybe he was just a monster incapable of loving, but really, he was just incapable of being loved.

Ye Xiu knew Mucheng loved him. It was a friend turned sibling kind of love. Not one on an any more profound level than that.

As much as he wanted Han Wenqing’s approval though, he knew that he couldn’t apologize right now. He did all of this for the others sake. He couldn’t keep pretending the pain away while he was with him. Even now, getting casual but careful touches from Chen Guo and Tang Rou sometimes had his heart fluttering in his chest and his body breaking out in goosebumps while he tried to fight off shivers. He couldn’t keep a straight face from his (ex)boyfriend anymore.

And he didn’t think he could outrun the past anymore. Glory was his dream, but Tao Xuan had been attempting to pull it from underneath him all while unaware that Cui Li was already doing it for him. He knew it was only a matter of time before he had to take a different approach to enjoying the dream he always followed and as such, it would only be a matter of time before He came to find Ye Xiu.

He didn’t want Han Wenqing to judge him; there was nothing he could do to change anything now. If he knew that when he left his house that he would find someone he had wanted to spend the rest of his life with, he might have hesitated a second longer because he’d always known that he’d have to abandon everything that he loved at some point.

Han Wenqing wouldn’t understand.

His path was only ever forward and straight ahead. Ye Xiu knew that he’d been taking many a-winding paths up until now and must continue to in order to reach the end goal, even if one desired end goal would overlap with an undesirable one too.

Thoughts like these always made Ye Xiu feel like a burden; To the people around him, his family resolutely ignored, and himself. It was like everything that happened to him was somehow his fault, but he was well aware how far-fetched his story always seemed. He couldn’t tell Han Wenqing about anything out of fear he wouldn’t believe him. A baseless fear? Who knew. Ye Xiu sure didn’t. And he couldn’t and wouldn’t know.

Ye Xiu stopped paying attention soon after. All these thoughts were drowning him and he’d much rather just focus on trying to achieve the positive goal and ignore the negative consequence until he couldn’t.

It was better this way.

At least, that’s what he told himself.

~~~~~

I'm still caught below, and I'll never let you know. No, I can't tell you nothing. 'Cause I'm a fuckin’ mess inside, but still I could always be whatever you wanted but not what you needed especially when you’ve been needing me.

~~~~~

Chapter Text

~~~~~

And it all comes crashing down like the words that we never found. We’re addicted to drama, it’s the first signs of trauma. The things only I know. I just keep waiting for kairos.

~~~~~

Silence permeated the Internet Café and it made Ye Xiu’s thoughts begin to claw to the surface. He found when it was entirely silent, with Tang Rou having left to spend time with family and Chen Guo downstairs tweaking the decorations they’d set up earlier that day, the silence wasn’t as comforting as he wished it was. 

For the longest time, he wished for silence because that was the only time Cui Li’s words weren’t rattling in his head and he could focus on Glory. But thinking back on it, his thoughts had never been silent. He filled the silence with thoughts and plans. 

When Tang Rou was here, they made a ruckus on the tenth server and steamed bun’s nonsense and singing was enough to make anyone’s ears bleed, and Ye Xiu abhorred the chatter and trash talk that always accompanied Huang Shaotian, but he liked gentle ambient sounds and soothing voices and the like. 

He’d actually always enjoyed Han Wenqing’s presence. Despite the man looking like a mob boss, and his snappishness and anger when asked certain things, he had a rather deep tenor and when he spoke normally, his voice seemed to vibrate on just the right level that he felt content enough to listen when he wanted and to sleep when he knew it was for that reason. 

And here too was why he hated the silence. Without distractions, without thinking of anything else, Ye Xiu fell back into thinking of a few topics other than Glory. His ex-boyfriend and his past abuse. 

When he spent too long in the silence, the hollowness in his chest spread like a flash fire, and if he didn’t distract himself with thoughts of glory and plans to continue to annihilate the guilds in the tenth server and upgrade the Myriad Manifestations Umbrella and Lord Grim, it would just burn. 

It was contradictory though. He craved silence and despised it. He lamented that this fell into the same category of physical touch for him; he wanted it, was desperate for it, craved it, was deprived of it for so long, but he feared it, was disgusted by it, shaken and weak-kneed at the thought of it. 

Tang Rou had been making an effort to reach out to him a little more in terms of friendly touch. It was just on the border of awkward and simultaneously comfortable and uncomfortable. Chen Guo was much more forceful. She didn’t force herself into his space, but she made her presence known and did just a little too much such that Tang Rou often had to drag her away. 

He didn’t mind though. She meant well. It was also nice to have two people attempt this, since it used to be just Mucheng. There was only so expressively intimate they could be on Excellent Era’s premises, familial relationship as it was notwithstanding. 

Han Wenqing was another opportunity for physical affection, but despite reveling in it, feeling so completely serene and safe in his arms, Ye Xiu felt just a tiny niggling of discomfort in it. If he couldn’t see it was him, it was hard for his brain not to immediately assume he wasn’t about to be hit. But even if he knew and he tried to relax and enjoy, he couldn’t because he knew it couldn’t last. He knew it would have to end. He knew it was his fault. He knew he wasn’t worth it.

Tainted. Dirty. 

Ye Xiu sighed. He’d definitely spent too long in silence. 

He descended the stairs and entered the Café, realizing belatedly he had to go to the washroom. He made his way over and did his business when he thought he heard Chen Guo calling for him. 

“Bathroom!” He shouted, washing his hands. 

He kept hearing her voice and when he emerged, a witty reply on the tip of his tongue as he approached the front door, he froze, coming face to face with his twin brother. 

~~~~~ 

Chen Guo had dragged Ye Xiu all over the place carrying her things as she bought decorations. She supposed this was his way of making up for not telling her everything. Although, he did tell her, so she just took his help as if they were friends. She wanted to keep an eye on him anyways. 

Sometimes she’d see that haunted look in his eyes when he thought no one was around. The minute flinches that he seemed oblivious to but stuck with Chen Guo after each one, berating herself for forgetting just how brash she could be and not holding back like she intended, were far from infrequent. He seemed to realize she meant well, but she felt bad regardless. 

She supposed though that he hated being treated like a delicate flower more than anything. He was strong, there was no denying that if even a hint of what she thought he’d been through was true, but that didn’t mean she wanted him to have to be strong all the time. He should be strong in Glory and leave the other types of strength to less busy people. 

So, he wasn’t weak and probably hated to be treated as such, with some limits of course. She used him for manual labor when he offered. He decorated the café beautifully and Chen Guo appreciated it. 

She was moseying around, moving things here and there briefly, when the door opened despite the closed sign being up. She forgot to lock the door? Oops, better go apologize to this person and hopefully they’d understand. 

She looked up and came face to face with… Ye Xiu?!?

He looked so different! Wearing a suit! Neatly pressed shirt! Hair combed! Not slouching! 

He was a whole different person! 

She didn’t realize exactly how literal it was until he spoke, and the tone of his voice was completely different. (Tang Rou would argue the main point of contention though was the fact that this man’s eyes didn’t look haunted.) 

“Is Ye Xiu here? Or perhaps, Ye Qiu?” 

… 

Who the heck is this guy?? 

“You are..?” 

“I’m his twin brother.” 

Chen Guo blinked. Well fucking duh! But who’d have actually thought that that guy had a twin brother?! That’s such a novel plot. Too absurd! Chen Guo called out loudly “Ye Xiu!” with her head tilted into the café to carry her voice to wherever Ye Xiu was. 

She turned to the man. “He’ll be here shortly.” She heard Ye Xiu faintly respond with “bathroom.” And didn’t push. 

“What’s your name?” She asked, trying to get a little inside knowledge. 

“I’m Ye Qiu.” He smirked politely. How does one smirk politely? Seriously! 

Suddenly, the name made a bit of sense. Ye Xiu used his brother’s name. But why? And why’d this guy let him? Chen Guo seriously doubted they both played Glory, so it wasn’t like it was two different people playing. Did Ye Xiu really steal his twin brother’s credentials? 

Contemplating this, Ye Xiu emerged behind her. “Boss, did you just call me?” 

When he caught sight of Ye Qiu, he froze. His eyes widened ever so slightly, a wave of fear seeming to sweep across them before being resolutely shoved behind a wall in his mind. Ye Xiu adopted his signature nonchalance and arrogance. 

“Oh?” 

“He’s looking for you.” Chen Guo informed helpfully. 

“Clearly.” Ye Xiu said to her before turning to his twin. 

“What are you doing here?” 

“I’m here to pick you up to go celebrate New Years.” 

“Who said I was going back?” 

“You’re retired. If you don’t go back, what else will you do?” 

“Work overtime!” Ye Xiu gestured around at the cafe.

Chen Guo had to fight not to roll her eyes. He really was too good at adopting such confident facades it was like he really was as confident as he seemed. She knew it wasn’t true. 

They continued to bicker, even dragging Chen Guo in but she neatly deflected things back onto the main culprit Ye Xiu. 

Ye Qiu seemed to decide to adopt another more emotionally manipulative approach. 

“Father’s health hasn’t been good recently.” 

Chen Guo didn’t even have the chance to think “oh no!” Before Ye Xiu responded with “That’s what you said last year.” 

“Fine! Actually, mother’s…” 

Another “oh no” on the tip of her tongue before… 

“You’re lying!” 

Chen Guo immediately knew there were no truths coming out of Ye Qiu’s mouth regarding family. 

“Little Dot died.” 

That got her attention again.

“About time!” 

“Who’s little dot?” Chen Guo couldn’t listen to their bickering any longer, but she needed to know just who little dot was. 

“A dog.” 

(-_-“) Black lines appeared on Chen Guo’s forehead. They really were twins! Too worthy of the title! So attuned to pestering each other! 

“You really should come home.” 

“To make it easier for you to leave?” 

The always poised Ye Qiu suddenly shot forward and grabbed Ye Xiu’s collar in his two hands. 

Only Chen Guo saw the way Ye Xiu flinched. Saw the way his eyes glazed over in fear but grim acceptance. It was very quick but enough. Ye Qiu didn’t seem to notice. He clearly didn’t know what was going on with Ye Xiu at Excellent Era. Ye Xiu came back to himself quite quickly and lowered his lashes at his brother.

“You stole my luggage! You could have at least taken your own!” Ye Qiu yelled, a smidge haltingly, like he did notice something.

“I had to prevent you from going. You would have been eaten alive on the street little brother.” His voice appeared nonchalant, but there was a note of fear lacing it, a barely there tenor of roughness that belied the flinch Chen Guo saw but Ye Qiu missed. Or did he?

Ye Qiu seemed to want to argue more, but there was a look in Ye Qiu’s eyes that said that he actually understood. That there was something that had occurred, maybe after the fact, or before the fact, that made him not actually mean most of what he said. He looked like he didn’t want Ye Xiu to come back yet. If he called their parents, surely he could be forced back, but he didn’t. It was like Ye Qiu was protecting his brother from something. 

And that was just it wasn’t it? The way they looked at each other was one filled with trust and closeness, regardless of the bickering. If Ye Xiu willingly left, it would have had to have been due to rather dire circumstances. Ye Qiu didn’t feel betrayed, he felt indebted. Ye Xiu may have taken his luggage and he likely wouldn’t have done well on the streets with his lack of dream aside from wanting to run, but the fact that Ye Xiu ran away, abandoned his brother he very clearly cared about, it had to be something more. 

Chen Guo inquired as they continued to argue back and forth. She listened to the story of how Ye Xiu used Ye Qiu’s proof of identity since he stole that guy’s luggage instead of packing his own. Shameless! 

“Why are you still hiding then?” Chen Guo asked after hearing that Ye Xiu only ever intended to play the game. She had a feeling he was lying. She was subtly trying to pry details of long-kept secrets to the surface.

Both brothers fell silent. They looked at each other, had a silent conversation, and Ye Xiu responded with the fact that his family could have dragged him back, but they realized eventually that his career would be limited since gaming favored the young. 

While it wasn’t a lie, and in normal circumstances it was true, it struck Chen Guo as only partly true. He was hiding, and this was why he stopped hiding? Because his career was almost over? More like someone in Excellent Era had finally beaten him one too many times and he escaped! And the family didn’t take him back because time was limited? Unlikely if they were this strict. There had to be some other reason.

Ye Qiu huffed before declaring his intentions to stay the night. Chen Guo, distracted from further inquiries to their home situation, was rather happy. She wanted Ye Xiu to have people he cared about and who cared about him nearby. She saw the way he stiffened at any touch he didn’t expect. Any act of even mild aggression seemed to kickstart an anxiety response she knew was probably worse than what she saw on the surface. 

And he hardly smiled. It was like he didn’t even want to be alive… 

She put that aside for now and led Ye Qiu up to where he’d sleep. When he saw the small room, he recognized it was probably a good fit for Ye Xiu. He hadn’t liked open spaces much in the last year he was home…

But too small meant cornered. If he willingly put himself in a small area, he probably felt safe here. 

“You’re not worried that Ye Xiu is living with two girls?” Chen Guo asked in a joking manner. He had managed to avoid any and all awkward situations. He was really a pro at it somehow. 

“Not at all. It’s the guys who would have to be worried.” 

Chen Guo blinked at that statement, immediately about to question it further, but Ye Qiu distracted her by arguing that he could sleep on the couch instead of in Chen Guo’s room as per offered. 

Chen Guo intended to have a good dinner and had Ye Qiu and Ye Xiu help her prepare. She felt that Ye Xiu loosened up slightly with his brother who insulted him playfully at his side. 

Ye Xiu ran out to get the food, a cigarette between his lips before returning to Ye Qiu spilling childhood stories about Ye Xiu to Chen Guo. 

Ye Qiu liked all the choices Ye Xiu brought back as did Chen Guo, proving that Ye Xiu was a better brother than whatever misunderstanding assumption she was operating on for their relationship. 

“No alcohol?” Ye Qiu asked petulantly. 

“I don’t drink alcohol.” He responded shortly. 

“Oh?” Chen Guo hadn’t known that. He smoked so much; she was surprised he didn’t drink. 

She clearly didn’t know that smoking was a way to deal with stress and trauma (she did, she just jumped to conclusions). It was essentially surprising that he wasn’t an alcoholic. 

“Too much alcohol makes your hands shake.” Ye Xiu said. And while it wasn’t wrong, it wasn’t the entire truth. That’s how he operated most times: in half truths. 

Chen Guo retrieved alcohol she still had and Ye Qiu poured it, even giving a tiny bit to Ye Xiu who didn’t drink it. 

It wasn’t long until Ye Qiu’s head dropped onto the table, totally drunk. What weak tolerance! 

Chen Guo teased that Ye Xiu would have the same reaction because he had never drunk alcohol. He didn’t bother to argue that he had in fact tried it because the story itself certainly wouldn’t help his case. 

They finished eating as Ye Qiu laid there for a good two hours before waking up blearily and stumbling trying to get up on his own. Ye Xiu immediately came and helped haul his brother up the stairs and to his room. It was kind of sweet that Ye Xiu was willing to give up his sleeping space. 

They cleaned up and Chen Guo stubbornly wanted to witness Ye Xiu’s tolerance. He argued he knew how he’d react without saying it would be the same as Ye Qiu, but he conceded eventually at Chen Guo pouting petulantly. He could trust Chen Guo. Any alarm bells going off in his head were studiously ignored. 

He listened to Chen Guo talk and long for the type of familial love Ye Xiu and Ye Qiu had. He sipped when she sipped, and Chen Guo didn’t notice his grimace at the alcohol sliding down his throat, burning slightly and pulling memories to the surface he’d much rather have forgotten. 

It had been in season 5. They had a little celebration for making it to the Semifinals and Mucheng dragged Ye Xiu to it. The management had been there and mingled and Ye Xiu mostly kept to himself. At one point, he went to the bathroom and came back to Mucheng handing him a drink. Apparently, Tao Xuan had insisted on a toast with alcohol and argued that a small amount on occasion wouldn’t hurt. Mucheng had accepted a drink from Cui Li and sipped her own before he handed her another one that he said was for Ye Xiu. She didn’t tell him who made the drink. 

There was a speech on doing better next season and blah blah blah, before cheers and Ye Xiu indulged in the tiny bit of alcohol he’d been given. 

Unbeknownst to him, Cui Li was watching with a devilish smile. 

It became obvious quickly that alcohol hadn’t been the only thing in the drink. Ye Xiu felt sick and dizzy and entirely too out of his mind for this to just be alcohol. It was with terror that he looked to Cui Li and his brain, although sluggish, came to the conclusion that Cui Li no longer intended to honor the contract. He had been lying when he said he wasn’t into male’s bodies. He was intending to take advantage of Ye Xiu, but he also couldn’t rule out that he was just attempting to incapacitate him in order to go after Mucheng. 

Ye Xiu quickly grabbed for Mucheng and asked her to take him to his room. She did, no questions asked but with a few teasing comments towards his alcohol tolerance. 

When she arrived, he stopped her from leaving and asked her to stay in a different room tonight. 

Mucheng didn’t understand why, but she trusted Ye Xiu implicitly and agreed. She’d always had a back up plan. Women could never be too careful after all. She would break into a spare room to sleep.

Ye Xiu entered his room and forced himself to throw up before he exited the room. He made sure Mucheng had enough time to get away before he stumbled across the hall into the storage room and slumped down against the door inside of it. 

His head swirled and all the injuries he’d had from the beating after losing the semifinals had gone numb. He felt a visceral urge to throw up again, this time involuntarily, but he withstood, taking tiny shallow breaths as that was all his probably cracked ribs would allow. 

He fell to his side and pressed his cheek against the cold floor where his skin had gone flushed and clammy. The room felt stuffy, so he turned to face the crack at the bottom of the door to get just a smidge more air. 

He heard the sound of footsteps and a key in a lock across the hall, He peered under the door and recognized Cui Li’s preposterous shoes that he kept shined like nobodies’ business. 

Cui Li entered the room and shut the door quietly, but only moments later he came out furiously. He stomped down the hall towards Mucheng’s room and Ye Xiu clenched his eyes shut and begged any listening ancestors that Mucheng wasn’t there. 

Down the hall, he’d heard more cursing from Cui Li before the man stomped back over to Ye Xiu’s room across the hall, looking around desperately. He looked over at the storage room door contemplatively, but seemed to decide that Ye Xiu wasn’t so stupid as to hide in such an obvious spot. 

He left shortly after. 

Ye Xiu fell asleep there and woke up the next morning dreading being alive. He cleaned himself up in his room and was soon ambushed by Cui Li. His furious gaze made Ye Xiu’s eyes fill with tears. He was dragged to a private room and a devastating scar was added to his body. 

When he had first been subjected to Cui Li’s torture, the man had noticed the long and deep slash across his heart pointing inwards towards his sternum. It looked like a knife cut but had evidence of burning too. Cui Li deduced that a knife heated in fire was used to sear and brand and mutilate and Cui Li had gotten off at the idea when he’d finally come to the conclusion. 

As punishment for evading his plans last night, Ye Xiu was subjected to another scar that ran from his collar bone and down across his heart and away from his sternum to form an “X”. It shocked Ye Xiu at how easily the method of torture had been deduced by Cui Li, horrified at having to relive this event that traumatized him so. 

But Cui Li said that if he endured without making a sound, he wouldn’t touch Mucheng. 

Ye Xiu complied. 

Now, Ye Xiu felt a little out of it, maybe from the alcohol, maybe from the memory. He trusted Chen Guo, but that didn’t mean his body wasn’t reacting. 

Chen Guo tried to offer her bed, but he knew he’d need several cigarettes to calm down and didn’t want to get ashes on her bed. He laid down on the couch stubbornly until Chen Guo went to bed. 

He opened a window and smoked until it hurt to breathe, and he had no choice but to close his eyes and the cloying tiredness pulled him into an uneasy rest. The alcohol muddled his dreams until two faces that tortured him incessantly and threatened those he loved became completely indistinguishable from one another. 

~~~~~ 

Chen Guo woke up to the sofa being empty and the storage room door closed, wrongly assuming that this meant Ye Xiu was the one awake. Turns out, Ye Qiu dragged his brother into the storage room. 

He said Ye Xiu had been shivering despite having a blanket on him. He thought it odd and wanted Ye Xiu to be in a place he felt comfortable. (It wasn’t odd. He knew all too well that he was having nightmares. He’d seen enough in the past).

After some breakfast, Ye Qiu logged onto a computer to do something while Chen Guo hovered to try and see what the non-gamer would do.

The conclusion: Boring stuff! Ye Qiu appeared to do things for work. Chen Guo got bored, so she started comparing their hands.

Although they were twins, their lifestyles had diverged early enough where differences developed. Ye Xiu’s hands were slimmer and longer but somehow more delicate. They moved with such grace they looked seamless in even the slightest of movements. If Chen Guo didn’t know what he really used them for, she’d assume he was a magician that had mastered sleight of hand. Ye Qiu’s hands were just as long but were a tad bit thicker, like he cracked them every once in a while and the knuckles swelled in response. He also had a few more scars and his hands were calloused in different places than his twin’s. They seriously typed different as well and even though Ye Qiu’s movements were by no means choppy, they just weren’t as elegant as Ye Xiu’s. Chen Guo might be biased though.

Chen Guo was about to ask Ye Qiu on his manicure habits as both Ye twins kept their nails short (and Chen Guo knew Ye Xiu put in the bare minimum effort to keep them filed down, Ye Qiu seemed the type to indulge in a manicure to have ensured such well maintained nails, or maybe he did them himself?), there was a knock on the shudder to the door of the store.

Who could possibly be here rapping on her storefront when it so very clearly was closed? Chen Guo thought this but still moved to open the shutter.

Ye Qiu briefly wondered if she had any notion of self-preservation, but maybe she knew who was out there, so that’s why she didn’t care. He paid no heed to anything more but his emails.

Chen Guo lifted the metal grate that clanked and groaned in protest to see who could possibly not realize they were closed. When it reached just above chest height, a slender figure of a person was revealed followed by a heart-stopping pop, a shower of confetti, and a happy voice that sensual and even greeting “Happy New Year!”.

Chen Guo came face to face with Su Mucheng, smiling dazzlingly.

Mucheng’s smile clearly faltered when she realized that Ye Xiu wasn’t the person before her and the sputtering, gobsmacked Chen Guo who had confetti in her hair was an unintended victim of her prank.

Su Mucheng apologized, and Chen Guo tried to say it was fine. She got scared by her idol! So cool!

And then Su Mucheng caught sight of the back of a head of hair and told Chen Guo to shhh with a finger to her lips as she tip-toed in before Chen Guo could even warn her that that wasn’t who she thought!

Too late though because a second party popper was used on the unsuspecting Ye Qiu.

Seeing Ye Qiu’s look of shock morph into one of pure confusion, Su Mucheng quickly realized something was amiss. This man looked different from Ye Xiu. Not just the way he dressed but his face too…

“Are you perhaps Ye Qiu?” She questioned, Chen Guo and Ye Qiu both immediately impressed that she realized so quickly.

“You’re correct. And you are?”

“Ah! My apologies! I’m Su Mucheng. I used to work with Ye Xiu.”

The topic of retirement had been thrown around the night before. Ye Qiu assessed her and decided that she was the only good one from that place. He couldn’t explain why, or what exactly he’d been thinking, but he knew that this girl was good for his brother. The idea was only confirmed when Ye Xiu ambled downstairs and immediately smiled at Mucheng, albeit only slightly. A smile Ye Qiu hadn’t seen in so many years. A smile that made his heart ache with regret and sadness because he knew why it’d disappeared in the first place. It was a ghost of a smile from back when they were kids and before everything happened, but it was reassuring nonetheless and Ye Qiu clung onto that hope with the fiercest grip of loyalty he could muster.

He ignored the niggling fear that things would never be solved and the uneasiness that told him Excellent Era hadn’t been the home away from home he’d hoped it would be for his brother.

Chen Guo saw the look Ye Qiu was sending Ye Xiu and felt a shiver down her spine. There was much more than met the eye to this family, and something deep lurking in the shadows just behind them. She hoped they’d be able to work it out one day and she’d be damned if she didn’t do her utmost to help. Especially considering her idol Su Mucheng seemed equally as determined.

Ye Qiu checked his watch and when he realized it was time for him to go, he began to pack up. He wished Ye Xiu happy new year and had him promise that he’d come back soon, which was to say, he hoped that whatever issue was lingering between them could be solved soon.

Ye Xiu’s nod seemed to set him at ease but the reassurance quickly fell away when Ye Qiu had entered his taxi and left. Ye Xiu looked down at his hands, staring blankly as if he hated the very sight of them, or something just beyond them he’d been staring at.

After a second, he shook his head and seemed to emerge from his stupor, turning to Su Mucheng. “When does the new year’s event start?”

“The event starts in the afternoon! It’s still early, bring me up to where you live and let me take a look.”

Chen Guo suddenly sweat-dropped. Su Mucheng was about to see the messy storage room she’d stuck Ye Xiu, the former Captain of Excellent Era? Oh no…

Chen Guo closed her eyes in embarrassment when Ye Xiu presented it to her.

Su Mucheng looked thoughtful. It seemed quite cozy despite the random assortment of items. It was homey in a weird way, and she knew he must appreciate not only the simplicity of it considering he had always lived minimally before, but also that he’d hated sparse areas; too clinical. He was a hermit through and through.

“It really suits you.”

“I think so too.”

Mucheng enthusiastically pulled Ye Xiu and Chen Guo over to point out her window, Ye Xiu letting her just to show Chen Guo as he knew where the window was already, and he could tell that they’d be fast friends once Chen Guo overcame her idol-worship. He also didn’t want to get too close to his own window, afraid that he might lose himself momentarily and do something he’d regret. He let them crowd the window instead and they even exchanged phone numbers.

Ye Xiu could practically see the excitement dripping from Chen Guo. She may have even been about to cry happy tears. Mucheng was then shown Chen Guo’s room so that they could find the window and say hi to each other in the mornings. Girls were weird.

They returned to Ye Xiu’s room and Mucheng expressed her exhaustion as she’d stayed up a little too late last night (making the party poppers).

“I’m a bit tired. Let me use your room to sleep for a bit!”

“Sleepy?” Ye Xiu questioned, already overthinking the statement as Cui Li having done something to make her feel unsafe to sleep in the club building when Mucheng suddenly cheered loudly.

“Happy New Year!” and Ye Xiu’s eyes settled on the party popper, and he tensed and retreated, trying to dodge the confetti (which his mind was giving the same danger level to as a gun {it’s not that easy to get guns in China!}). He usually had a hard time dodging Mucheng’s little pranks, but he managed, reaching a hand up to his chest to remind himself to breathe and calm his heart. He hadn’t acknowledged it consciously, but he realized that the party popper was already used. Clearly the confetti he’d seen downstairs had come from her and she’d accidentally used it on Chen Guo and Ye Qiu.

Mucheng had the decency to look guilty, but for more than one might think. She always made these party poppers and tried to scare Ye Xiu every year. It was their tradition. But looking at his face and seeing the fear in his eyes, she suddenly felt awful. All the years she’d been doing this, and she never realized that the fear wasn’t so much playful as it was justified? How many times did Cui Li surprise attack him? He had a right to fear for his safety when faced with loud noises and imminent projectiles.

Ye Xiu seemed to notice her guilt but equated it to a normal amount of guilt over scaring him. He patted her head fondly. “I’m sure you’ll get me next year.”

Su Mucheng was reminded how Yang Yinzhi had told her to treat him normally. She had to do her best. She smiled at him and handed him the popper to inspect. He scolded her for staying up all night just to make it before he let her have nap.

When she woke up, they’d participate in the New Year’s event and pull decent awards and spend more time just being themselves in a relaxing environment.

If Ye Xiu knew the simmering rage that was boiling a building over in Cui Li’s heart as he attempted to come up with a plan to get out of the trap Mucheng and the guards had ensnared him in, it might not have been as peaceful.

~~~~~

Ye Qiu checked his phone and saw he had a message on QQ. Did his brother message him? Unlikely.

He excused himself from the drivel that was coming out of his relatives mouths and checked his phone. He found a message from Su Mucheng that said:

Dancing Rain (Su Mucheng): It has come to my attention that Ye Xiu has been experiencing abuse at the hands of Excellent Era’s management. I don’t fully know your circumstances, but I wanted to reach out to ask if I could get your support in possibly filing a lawsuit in the future. I am telling you this now because I know you can be level-headed enough to stop and listen. DO NOT DO ANYTHING YET. This is entirely Ye Xiu’s decision and he needs to be the one to instigate it. He has plans, I know he does. Please wait until his plans are realized to make a move, or until you’re about to be checkmated. I’ll keep you updated, and all documents will be handed over only when the time comes. I’m truly, truly sorry for what has happened to him. You are not at fault.

Ye Qiu stared blankly for a while before he closed his eyes to try and quell the anguish that settled in his heart.

Even after you left, you still couldn’t fully escape, huh? Just what have you had to experience now? Ye Qiu asked himself, asked his brother, asked the air, asked no one, and received the same lack of answer all around.

He would line up the lawyers immediately when the time came. He should get them on standby.

(He did.)

~~~~~

As Ye Xiu progressed through the tenth server, a few snags were hit but it was pretty smooth sailing overall. He began the Heavenly Domain quest and breezed through most parts in the game portion. He lamented that it would take people super long to catch up with him in order for him to complete the arena portion, but then it was revealed that he had forgotten that it was actually inter-server.

Ye Xiu berated himself an extensible amount for having forgotten such a basic system setup. How could he have forgotten!? Chen Guo could guess and Mucheng would frown as they both realized that Ye Xiu’s mind had been so overburdened with stress that he had blanked, but the even scarier fact was that no one seemed to question him. If there wasn’t a way, there wasn’t a way. It wasn’t just that he was reliable, but also believable. Was this the reason the abuse he received had never been found out? It was as if anything he said just couldn’t be doubted. If he said he was fine, then it must have been fine. Having fallen into this was very severe. What a horrible thing.  

Ye Xiu blew through the arena competition, gathering a lot of attention and being accused of hacking multiple times until the game developing company even had to confirm that he wasn’t cheating. The forums were filled with the name Lord Grim and so of course when he entered the heavenly domain at level 50 he was bombarded with friend requests to such an extent that his game momentarily crashed. Ye Xiu could feel the sweat drops building. Thankfully it didn’t last too long.

He was leveling very efficiently with Chen Guo on her account when Loulan Slash and his merry gang of misfits approached him. They were shocked dumb when he admitted to being One Autumn Leaf aka Ye Qiu, but they were mostly skeptical at best. Oh well, he’d convince them later. Right now he was already scheming to find a way to make this play out in the favor for them both.

It was at this time that another series of players attacked and one look at it, Ye Xiu could tell that it was Excellent Era’s pros that had come to greet him. He definitely couldn’t afford to die here. A sharp pang of fear had settled into his chest that had been healing nicely to such an extent that Ye Xiu felt like he could actually breathe deeply after so long. But now, the idea that Cui Li sanctioned this raid against him made him want to curl into a ball and cry, but this was Glory, his passion. He couldn’t back down.

Ye Xiu controlled Chasing Haze and Lord Grim and set up a scenario where they would believe that Chen Guo was Mucheng. It was very effective as they retreated not long after the fight started.

Across the street, Liu Hao was grinding his teeth, just about ready to throw down with Su Mucheng as they stared at Chasing Haze, but when they saw Mucheng pass their training room at the same time, they were even more confused and angry. Just where was Ye Xiu finding all these experts?! Seriously!

If Liu Hao was really using his time wisely, instead of getting Sun Xiang to agree to participate in the next raid, he would contemplate the sudden behavior changes Cui Li was experiencing and maybe fear for his safety as the man’s gaze was often drawn towards people’s bodies while his eyes held a malicious glint.

He’d squash it rather quickly, looking around to make sure Tao Xuan wasn’t nearby, but it was still there. Apparently, someone had gone to Boss Tao Xuan and informed him that Cui Li was harassing people. Tao Xuan probably didn’t believe it, but he wouldn’t be the boss if he didn’t at least look like he took things seriously. Cui Li had half a mind to get a gun and fucking shoot Su Mucheng or either of those two bodyguards if he wasn’t being watched like a hawk now.

He couldn’t draw more attention just yet…

Ye Xiu continued to negotiate with Loulan Slash. Ye Xiu fought their team and gave them pointers, helped to train them, even playing on multiple accounts. When they came to an agreement of him “joining the guild”, he knew his plans were in motion, despite the uncertainty that things would work out.

After all the ruckus he’d made in the arena challenge, everyone assuming he was Lord Grim and Excellent Era “supporting” him, of course it was only a matter of time before his actions truly drew in the attention of the pro players. They all knew he was Lord Grim and anyone outside the pro circle knew he was very talented regardless of if he was “Ye Qiu” so when he announced he’d joined Heavenly Justice, everyone was up in arms.

They also clearly didn't know how to read! He'd just joined the guild! But this was his plan all along.

The Pros in the QQ group chat immediately exploded. Ye Qiu was the source of all their problems! (Clearly no on stopped to think what the source of Ye Qiu’s problems could be).

What does he want? Drag him out and ask! He was still in the chat after all.

Troubling Rain (Huang Shaotian): Ye Qiu! Come out come out come out come out come out come out come out!

Who else would use so many repeating phrases than Huang Shaotian?

Was he invisible? Su Mucheng must be able to tell. But she was offline.

Windy Rain (Chu Yunxiu): Why not try mentioning Ye Qiu?

Troubling Rain (Huang Shaotian): @Ye Qiu @Ye Qiu @Ye Qiu @Ye Qiu @Ye Qiu @Ye Qiu

That wasn’t working. If at first you don’t succeed, try try again! Using a different keyword of course!

Troubling Rain (Huang Shaotian): @One Autumn Leaf @One Autumn Leaf @One Autumn Leaf @One Autumn Leaf @One Autumn Leaf @One Autumn Leaf @One Autumn Leaf

One Autumn Leaf (Sun Xiang): Who’s calling me?

…

Troubling Rain (Huang Shaotian): Not you! I’m looking for Ye Qiu!

After some jokes about retirement and admins, Chu Yunxiu saved the day.

Windy Rain (Chu Yunxiu): Try @Lord Grim.

Lord Grim (Ye Qiu): Hey! Who called me?

He was just pretending to be dead! Shameless. The chat exploded and Huang Shaotian bullied him into accepting a challenge which caught every single pro who was present’s reaction. There was suddenly god-levelled character popping up all over the Heavenly Domain and making their way towards the arena. When they arrived, Huang Shaotian, in his eagerness, drew the short straw and ended up in a round robin with Heavenly Justice’s players.

Loulan Slash had been utterly shocked. Lord Grim was really Ye Qiu! And then he got his ass kicked and felt very ashamed.

Huang Shaotian was truly formidable and didn’t dare lose this opportunity to fight Ye Qiu, who finally gave in. It was a spectacular match and very informative. All of the people were focused on the match, but there was two people who were multi-tasking.

Wang Jiexi’s main fault is that he’ll put everything behind helping his team. He was so focused on the match, he very much forgot about all the concerns for Ye Qiu he currently held, especially after seeing how difficult it would be to fight against this class. He wasn’t one of the multi-taskers.

Yu Wenzhou, despite his “crippled” hand-speed, was truly a monster when it came to thinking and strategies. He was simultaneously calculating the likelihood of Shaotian winning as well as contemplating the physical demand Ye Xiu was under in performing all these combos. The prospects he was coming up with were very difficult to adhere to for normal pros, but for one that was experiencing abuse? Who knew. And he sure wasn’t acting like he was someone who had been abused. Realistically he knew that masking was a thing, but he liked to believe that he could maybe see under it?

Zhang Xinjie’s fault was that he followed his schedule very well. He knew the fight could be recorded so he went to bed. He loved his schedule a little too much and left Han Wenqing alone. While the rest of Tyranny was mostly present, he didn’t want to discuss his thoughts with them.

He was Ye Xiu’s main rival so of course his insight was far different from the normal players, is what most people thought. It wasn’t untrue, but it wasn’t his main concern. Meet the multi-tasker because Han Wenqing was much more focused on Ye Xiu the person rather than the character he was playing.

Han Wenqing had been lying awake each night with so many thoughts inside his empty bed, wishing for an empty head to think things through. He’d seen players in tears that fell because of how Ye Qiu defeated them so soundly, and yet here he was in a similar boat, with tears threatening to leak out so often just because of the same man, albeit different circumstances.

But what could he do? In real life, Ye Qiu ignored him. He made it quite clear that there was a gorge that couldn’t be crossed, and Han Wenqing had to respect that as much as it hurt him each time he stared across the canyon of room. He would have to step back from the ledge to try and sleep, hoping that he’d be able to see Ye Qiu in his dreams and come up with a solution to all these problems, but the problem was he couldn’t even find him in his dreams. It was like his brain was trying to expedite the process of denial because if he didn’t, his thoughts would be a constant stream of “I miss you. Really miss you.”

Han Wenqing watched his rival elegantly and scrappily defeat Huang Shaotian. He held appreciation not just for one strategy, but for the fight as a whole and especially the player that came up with it.

In his mind, he screamed for Ye Qiu to notice him, to reach out to him, to tell him just what he did wrong. In reality, he heard Ye Qiu say it was bed time and log off, knowing he was going to go back to that empty bed and not be able to dream of the one person who had always managed to keep him human.

~~~~~

When the news leaked that all the pros went to go see Lord Grim, it was pretty much confirmed that Lord Grim was Ye Qiu. But when Heavenly Justice told them that Ye Qiu wasn’t on their roster, the whole Glory scene was in uproar. They’d been duped! Swindled! Han Wenqing himself had said it was him, same with Yu Wenzhou, but not it’s not him? They got it, the wording was clever. Now who is this guy?

Han Wenqing further elaborated that if it wasn’t him, who was it?

There was no one to confirm nor deny anything. “Might as well go scrap-picking” said Ye Xiu, crouching in a building. He was a very proactive scrap-picker. He found a Ninja that he could potentially corral into joining his team and then he found the entirety of Excellent Era’s pro team tailing him, with Sun Xiang even doing a move akin to dragon raises its head.

All in all, Ye Xiu didn’t feel all that stressed for once. It was quite obvious that the pro team had come on against the managements wishes, if their current rank in the season was anything to go by. It wasn’t some Cui Li plot, but it was still a sad indictment. This was a team? Yeah fucking right. They were just a bunch of people looking to abandon ship. It was unfortunate that Sun Xiang’s temperament was so bad. He really wouldn’t even be suitable to play Mario Kart if he didn’t get his shit together.

With Ye Xiu as a shot caller, he led Heavenly Justice’s players into defeating Excellent Era, melancholy at realizing that the dynasty he’d built on the blood sweat and tears of himself and others was about to be lost.

It just wasn’t fair.

Ye Xiu smoked. It was easier to just forget about it.

~~~~~

When Ye Xiu was ambushed in game by a Warlock that was quite ruggish, it took him exactly two seconds of seeing the face to recognize who it was.

“Old Wei?”

“Tch. Just hurry up and die so I can get my money!”

Truly shameless! Ye Xiu couldn’t help smiling as he directed Qiao Yifan to coordinating with him and eventually getting Wei Chen’s silver weapon.

Wei Chen, the original captain of Blue Rain, was a bit of a thug. He looked like he might beat someone up at anytime. Even back then, he might give Han Wenqing a run for his money as the scariest Glory pro. Ye Xiu admired Wei Chen to an extent but in a much different way than he admired Han Wenqing.

Their determination was the same, but Wei Chen had eventually been overshadowed by his rookie Yu Wenzhou. While it was unfortunate, Ye Xiu was glad that Wei Chen had given Yu Wenzhou a chance when no one else had. He’d heard from Huang Shaotian in one of his many rants just how Wei Chen had protected Yu Wenzhou from the escalating bullying due to his crippled hands. It was just unfortunate that Wei Chen also got a little upset in the end at being bested, but it was a point of pride that he was the oldest person in the alliance at the time and persisted for so long, but a point of contention that he could be outdone by a “cripple”. Wei Chen certainly didn’t hate Yu Wenzhou, but it still stung. He’d never bully the guy though. Teasing and trash talk? Of course. But not abuse or bullying.

Ye Xiu admired the fact that when Wei Chen realized he wasn’t able to continue on, he left of his own volition. Ye Xiu couldn’t say the same thing about himself.

In his situation, he didn’t feel that he was quite at the time where he should have to retire. He still had more Glory to play. But his team was forcing him out, Tao Xuan for monetary reasons, Liu Hao for selfish reasons, and Cui Li was taking advantage of the situation before him. Every game that Liu Hao and co. threw, he beat Ye Xiu harder and harder until the man could only walk without a limp through sheer force of will alone and he found himself curled into a corner in his room, shaking and trying not to cry from the fear and the pain. Cui Li could see that Ye Xiu was being pushed into a corner and he actually began to panic that he was about to lose his access to his perfect play partner.

So, what did he do if he knew Tao Xuan had already set in motion a plan? Well, Cui Li immediately found some excuse of him having violated some clause and instead of physical punishment, he took Ye Xiu’s entire monetary capability away. He made it impossible to pay out the contract cancellation fee before he informed Tao Xuan.

The day Sun Xiang was set to arrive, Cui Li summoned Ye Xiu to a room far away from the everyday workings of the Club where cameras to record the climactic moment.

“You have two choices. You can choose to give me Su Mucheng, and I’ll do everything in my power to stop Tao Xuan from ousting you and continue on with the contract as it, or you can retire quietly and sign this new contract. The only price this new contract will cost you is a punishment of course.”

Of course, Ye Xiu chose the latter option. No way would he give Su Mucheng to Cui Li. He wasn’t one for self-pity (although he was honestly entitled at this point) and he gritted his teeth and submitted.

Cui Li kicked his ribs so hard, Ye Xiu wasn’t sure they weren’t broken. Over and over and over the man kicked him in the sides, bashed in his knees, making bruises bloom like violet flowers, only darker like black dahlias. Cuts on his hips and thighs, scratches on his calves, burns between his toes. He’d bitten his tongue to not make a sound. He’d always worried one day he’d bite through it.

He didn’t know how Cui Li got off on this stuff. How holding power over an actual life was something Ye Xiu found abhorrent. He liked dominating in Glory, but that was a game. I’m real life, he just liked existing and getting by. (It certainly begged the question of it he was ever happy.)

(The answer was yes, with Han Wenqing, with Su Mucheng, with Su Muq…. Nevermind.)

Then Cui Li pulled out the contract and told him the basics.

Thou shall not return.

Thou shall not contact other pros.

Thou shall not make trouble for Excellent Era.

Thou shalt not forget the power held over you.

Or else Su Mucheng was to be at Cui Li’s mercy.

Ye Xiu waited as the process that started this whole thing repeated.

A slice was made on his collarbone in the exact spot it was originally placed, except maybe a little deeper. Cui Li made Ye Xiu sign with his shaking hand before forcing his thumb into the blood streaking down his chest and placed a thumbprint next to his signature.

His second blood contract was formed.

Cui Li left with a grin so maniacal it was a touch insane and a tent in his pants.

Ye Xiu had no more tears left to cry. He peers himself off the floor, cleaned up what little mess he’d left, as had become custom from Cui Li’s punishments, and went back to his room to play Glory.

It wasn’t until Su Mucheng came into the room, did he know for sure that he’d just been duped. Cui Li had no control over whether he would have been forced to retire. That was Tao Xuan’s plot. But in that situation, he gave himself control.

Ye Xiu could only comply. He’d had things set in place for a while. He’d knew it was coming. He still wished it hadn’t.

So yeah, Ye Xiu had some respect for Wei Chen. But he also knew the man resented the fact that he’d never had a chance to win when he played. Therefore, it was rather easy to earnestly convince him to try his hand on Happy’s team and take pointers from the crippled Yu Wenzhou who usurped him.

They began plotting to infiltrate guilds to gain intel on wild BOSSes, Wei Chen providing account cards for Ye Xiu to use to progress his plans.

Wei Chen, despite being a shameless bastard, was quite observant. Even over the game he could sense that something was off in the relationship between Excellent Era and Ye Xiu. He heard it in the tremor of his voice on occasion. He heard it in the self-deprecating comments. Wei Chen was a protective person. It took maybe two misplaced self-effacing jokes from Ye Xiu to have his protective instincts in hyperdrive. No matter if he won a championship with this man, he’d protect him from all that seemed to be plaguing him. He could only imagine what it was, but it wouldn’t be good.

The only thing was Wei Chen was his affections were concealed by his brashness. He made it seem like he didn’t care, and insulted people he did care about. It was different from his usual trash talk but could easily have been mistaken for it if one didn’t know him well. Very confusing, this old man. He seemed like he’d beat someone up, but just like Han Wenqing, he was all about defense.

Ye Xiu didn’t know it, but he’d just gained another ally in his corner against Excellent Era. It was only a matter of time now.

~~~~~

And by only a matter of time it meant apparently right fucking now because Tao Xuan was in the internet Café, begging for Ye Xiu to come back and be a coach for Excellent Era. Fuck! How shameless!

Chen Guo was half convinced this man was the one who was abusing Ye Xiu, but he didn’t seem as wary of him overall. He also seemed to talk as if they were old friends. She seriously doubted he could do that with someone who had hurt him so badly in as close of proximity as they were right now.

She was concerned he might actually go back, but not just because he felt indebted to the team but maybe out of some misplaced Stockholm Syndrome? She didn’t know but Ye Xiu firmly stated his intentions to return to the stage as a player, not a bench warmer.

They argued a little more, Tao Xuan exposing himself as a greedy business man to such an extent it was easy to guess he had ousted Ye Xiu purely for his lack of monetary value, but arguing was ultimately pointless.

Ye Xiu accepted a gift from Tao Xuan to be claimed in the future. Would he take his One Autumn Leaf back and abandon Lord Grim?

No. He wanted Dancing Rain.

Chen Guo whole-heartedly agreed with this decision, but she was still confused.

Tao Xuan’s gaze actually softened at this and agreed before leaving.

See you on the stage!

~~~~~

Deigning the alternate account of “Unrivaled Super Hottie” was perhaps some of the most fun Ye Xiu has had playing a role in a very long time. The name set up a multitude of scenarios where he could just be anyone else other than himself. It let him be cocky and confident in his Glory skills. He knew his value and milked it. He wanted to find a decent Cleric in Tyrannical Ambition’s recruits and in order to do that he’d have to tank in an off-shoot of the guild.

He cleared the initial dungeon by leaching, single-handedly led a team of 100 to clearing a dungeon, defeated an uppity team leader, and then began his journey throughout the different raid parties. Eventually his skill was recognized and the main wild BOSS raid team for the main guild asked for his help in acquiring a level 70 wild BOSS.

It was here, maneuvering his tank, that he came across a rather interesting character helping out Hundred Blossom Valley.

The clerics died quickly under the barrage of weapons fire, but it wasn’t actually as impressive as it looked. And when Ye Xiu stepped up to meet the spitfire toe to toe, it really felt silly.

When the man angrily shouted out “Who are you?!!!” Ye Xiu could only oblige and respond “Unrivaled Super Hottie!” Before striking. Ye Xiu and many other spectators thought the words “flashy but ineffective” as none of the spitfire’s shots truly hit, and they realized exactly who it was controlling that character.

“I know picking on noobs feels good, but you don’t have to look for superiority in this way, am I right? You’re better than this!” Ye Xiu admonished, faux cocky persona at an all time high. The spitfire who was none other than the recently retired Zhang Jiale, was none too pleased and attacked more fiercely. Ye Xiu even died and got revived strategically.

If only he knew how to call for help in real life the way he did in a hopeless situation in a game…

Jiang You, the Tyranny Guild leader, deduced his identity but kept it to himself. He’d use this guy to the last of his stamina.

The guilds all went to fight over the BOSS, Tyrannical Ambition ultimately securing it in a tense stand-off. Zhang Jiale had clearly deduced Ye Xiu’s identity and came over to complain.

“Why so serious?” Ye Xiu asked.

“You don’t seem relaxed.”

“That’s a must. I have to return with a new team to win a championship. Very difficult!”

“You want more championships?”

“It feels good to win championships.”

“Fuck!”

“As long as there’s a chance, I’ll never back down.”

And wasn’t that both a truth and a lie. Good thing things were slowly changing for his real life circumstances or he would be the biggest hypocrite imaginable.

He threw this down and left.

Ye Xiu coordinated the knight’s attacks and stole the boss away until Tyrannical Ambition garnered the rewards and planned to use Ye Xiu for as much as they could.

~~~~~

For a while, Ye Xiu simply bounced between raid parties and was sometimes called away to fight wild BOSSes that he leaked the location of to Wei Chen in Samsara. Eventually, he was asked to help with a BOSS that spawned on a bridge that people were vying for. When Zhang Jiale showed up, he took it upon himself to knock him off the bridge, made entirely possible due to the cleric he’d been scouting’s timing in healing him. With Zhang Jiale, Little Cold Hands – the cleric – and himself all away from the BOSS, it was really pointless to continue. And since he had found the person he wanted, it was time to leave.

He directly messaged Jiang You and “revealed” his identity. Jiang You was furious. Such a shameless guy.

Little Cold Hands drowned, and Zhang Jiale prepared for more battle at the bottom of the river, but Ye Xiu declined. He even revealed why he had infiltrated Tyrannical Ambition. For that specific healer! Good thing mechanics could be improved upon, and they weren’t snatched up yet.

Zhang Jiale was essentially used as a lab rat. Very pathetic.

Zhang Jiale had taken Ye Xiu’s proclamation of making an opportunity seriously.

Ye Qiu, this guy had won three championships and he was still gunning for another? It was true that championships were more about skill but there was an element of luck to them. Could this guy really be so lucky? Was luck truly so discriminatory against Zhang Jiale?

He’d made mistakes in the past, but if there’s a reason he’s still able to play Glory when so many other people have fully retired, Zhang Jiale was willing to wait for it. But was that enough?

Ye Qiu didn’t hesitate. He exhibits no restraint; he takes, and he takes, and he takes, and he keep winning anyways. Changes the game; plays and he raises the stakes. But if there’s a reason Zhang Jiale was still there to fight against him when so few from the beginning still remained then damn it, he couldn’t just wait for it. Glory doesn’t discriminate between the sinners and the saints. He had to take and not just sit by while others did.

Zhang Jiale watched Ye Xiu stride off to go and try and recruit that cleric and he steeled his resolve in his own decision to leave Hundred Blossoms and join Tyranny. Until that time, he’d assuage his guilt by collecting materials for his old team.

~~~~~

Just as Excellent Era was plummeting towards the bottom of the rankings and Ye Xiu was marginally upset over probably having to face them in the Challenger League, he ran into two people in a restaurant.

When he walked in and saw Tao Xuan, he felt his heart stutter slightly, but when he saw who was sitting across from him and facing the door was none other than Cui Li, his heart truly dropped. He swallowed to keep his composure as he greeted them, acting entirely unbothered by the meeting.

Cui Li’s gaze never once left him and sweat was condensing at the base of his neck. When Steamed Bun, that dumbass thug, went over and provoked Cui Li and Tao Xuan, Ye Xiu’s stomach swooped. He wanted to rush in and pull that dumb bun out of range of that sadistic man whose tone was so cutting it was unreal. Ye Xiu had to entice him away with food just to get him to chill.

Ye Xiu’s heart was thundering in his ears as Cui Li seemed to be screaming at him with his eyes just how distraught he was at seeing Ye Xiu nearby. He seemed more unhinged than before and icy-cold dread slid through Ye Xiu as he internally panicked about Mucheng’s safety and what if she found out and what if she did something and oh god I didn’t even tell the guards to keep her out of it…

Chen Guo swooped in to save the day after seeing Ye Xiu’s complexion pale every time he glanced at Cui Li and her entire world seemed to have flipped onto its head because how could a manager of a major club have been the one who was abusing Ye Xiu all along?

Tao Xuan seemed entirely oblivious.

They all ate and kept quiet, Tao Xuan and Cui Li discussing Excellent Era’s fate which involved condemning Sun Xiang, but not quite literally.

They left; a wide-eyed stare thrown by Ciu Li at Ye Xiu who shivered. It appeared he’d been out of the abuse loop for so long his terror was amplified much more now. When he zoned back in, Chen Guo asked if they’d purposely sabotage their chances in the Challenger League. It was clearly a distraction but it wasn’t a great one because in order to find out he had to borrow a phone to contact Tao Xuan and confirm that the man still had some integrity and didn’t intend to make things more difficult than they’d already be.

Everyone was relieved, but Ye Xiu would need time to recover from the encounter. Too bad all he could do is throw himself at Glory.

~~~~~

Although we’ve got no hope, we hold on. It gets worse before it’s better. I won’t go. I’m not done. This is not the time; I will hold my tongue.

~~~~~

Chapter Text

~~~~~

I dig with cold hands. I use these tools to try and climb out of this mess I’ve made. I am no one. I have no place, no one relates and there is no sun as the night covers the space but if I keep on building walls maybe they’ll stay away.

~~~~~

It was only a few weeks after Ye Xiu had initially infiltrated Tyranny’s guild. He’d found and recruited the cleric and it was approaching the end of playoffs for the regular season and Excellent Era was very near the bottom. Clearly, their morale had been flushed down the toilet and everyone was abandoning ship knowing that the boat had a leak that they couldn’t find. Truly sad to see.

Wei Chen arrived at Happy Internet Café and made himself at home in the computer room which Chen Guo had remodeled even before being shown their lodgings. Wei Chen’s immediate remark when he saw Ye Xiu was “you’re way too fucking skinny. How are you going to win a championship as a bag of bones?”

In that moment, Ye Xiu knew that Wei Chen a) knew something was wrong and b) was going to protect him even if he never knew the full extent of everything.

Ye Xiu felt marginally safer with Wei Chen there, and he’d never admit it was due to the gruff persona he put on and because of his resemblance to Han Wenqing in that aspect.

Things started progressing steadily in terms of gathering. Steamed Bun was already there to stay, An Wenyi, the Cleric, planned to come soon, and they were in contact with Luo Ji also known as Concealed Light.

Those that were present gathered to hear Cui Li spew shit about Sun Xiang’s “failing health” on television before they decisively left to their dorm room. It was decided that the two who smoked would have to share a room. Ye Xiu shuddered at that. Just because he knew Wei Chen was safe didn’t mean he wanted to be unconscious in a room with the man, entirely vulnerable. But there really was no other option was there?

He had to get over himself.

~~~~~

It was after this first night when Ye Xiu hardly slept while Wei Chen snored in the bed next to him, that Ye Xiu got up early. It was not his usual. He was someone who went to sleep late and slept in late, minus even the time when he was a night worker, and he slept all day and played all night.

Chen Guo had gotten up early herself as it was the Qingming festival and she wanted to go visit her father, so she was truly startled when she saw Ye Xiu was even up before her and getting ready to go out. Turned out they were going to the same cemetery, but just had to wait for Su Mucheng.

They didn’t have to wait long. Mucheng arrived in a heavy disguise that was clearly very suffocating. Thankfully, the taxi driver didn’t know Glory so she could remove it soon after.

Chen Guo wanted to inquire about just who Su Mucheng and Ye Xiu had lost, but it was a very personal matter, and it wasn’t appropriate to pry.

They bought flowers and separated at a crossroads, Chen Guo going to inform her father of the workings of the Café. When she was finished and laid the flowers on his grave, she went back to find Ye Xiu and Su Mucheng. Out of respect, she didn’t approach, but she could clearly see the name on the headstone.

Su Muqiu? Was this person a family member of Su Mucheng’s? She was curious and was caught peaking for information by Ye Xiu! How disgraceful! She wanted to bury herself and die.

But Ye Xiu held an uncharacteristically soft smile and waved her over to their side. On the headstone, it indicated that this person was Su Mucheng’s brother. Ye Xiu commented that he would have been a Glory god had he still been here. That must have been how he met Su Mucheng in the first place!

Apparently, Su Mucheng and Su Muqiu were raised in an orphanage until they had to leave and got by quite easily with Su Muqiu’s gaming talent. How else would Ye Xiu and Su Muqiu, two ultra-gamers, ever meet each other otherwise?

As they described it all to Chen Guo, they mostly stuck with what occurred after they’d met and how they’d wanted to make something out of Glory. They stuck with Glory talk such as the Evil Annihilation Spear and Myriad Manifestations Umbrella being works of Su Muqiu’s, but there was always a subtextual story that one may not ever parse out.

Ye Xiu first met Su Muqiu at Excellent Era Cafe. Ye Xiu spent most of his days playing video games on other people’s behalf and then playing the Beta of Glory for himself.

There was a multitude of times when Su Muqiu was also in the Café, eagerly researching silver weaponry that was still just being implemented when they first dueled. It hadn’t been intentional; they’d just been in the arena and happened to notice it was the person next to them they’d just versed.

After quick introductions, they fell into immediate conversation, one keeping pace with the other without pause. It wasn’t until the manager and owner of the Internet Café, Tao Xuan, told them to go home, that they parted ways.

Ye Xiu went right and Su Muqiu went left, but Su Muqiu realized that he actually forgot his account card. He returned to the cafe to try and find it and when he couldn’t, he assumed Ye Xiu maybe held onto it for him. Su Muqiu went right and into the alley next to the Internet Café, intending to try and catch up with the boy he hardly knew as it was entirely possible something could happen to the account card. They were strangers after all. Su Muqiu indeed found Ye Xiu, but it wasn’t in a good situation. Ye Xiu  was settling in behind the dumpster to sleep with only his coat to cover him.

In fairness, it wasn’t his fault! Ye Xiu just hadn’t made enough money playing video games for people this month to afford playing Glory at the Internet Café, food, clothing, showering and hygiene products, as well as an apartment. He wasn’t a god. He had to compromise somewhere, and he could sleep nearly anywhere so what did it matter that he slept on the streets?

Su Muqiu stared in abject horror before declaring “No.” which startled Ye Xiu into facing Muqiu who promptly ripped the jacket from the boy and hauled him to his feet by his arm, dragging him out of the alley, and towards Muqiu’s apartment. Ye Xiu put up a token protest, but it was useless. He conceded, telling himself it would just be for one night.

(It wasn’t just for one night.)

It wasn’t just one night because when a young girl greeted him with her warm but shy smile and started questioning him about the games he played and if her big brother and him were friends and played together, Ye Xiu found he wanted his answers to be different. He wanted a different truth, one that involved knowing more about the other boy.

They fell into their routines, learning about each other and taking care of each other and earning more money to not just barely get by but to also set aside for Su Mucheng to go to university one day.

For so long, they were together, growing with one another, supporting one another, and reaching for glory.

Ye Xiu told them his real name after having told them it was Ye Qiu previously. He told them he had a twin. He told them he ran away.

He never gave the whole story though…

Su Muqiu told them how they had been raised in an orphanage since before they could remember but eventually couldn’t stay. It was only through Su Muqiu’s ability to play games that they could afford an apartment and it was quite impressive how they managed.

Ye Xiu still felt guilty though because there were significant things that he’d left out. His home situation for one, and his sexuality for another. Homosexuality, while not outright illegal, was not something generally accepted in China. He held it in. He didn’t care to change, but he didn’t flaunt himself either.

When the actual glory game came out, they’d made their accounts and Mucheng picked the names. Ye Xiu didn’t mind the typo.

One Autumn Leaf made many allies and enemies alike, but none fiercer than Desert Dust.

Ye Xiu broke his arena record, and then they’d fought again and again. Ye Xiu learned to tease this boy, egged on by Su Muqiu. Mucheng celebrated his victories against him and said how she wanted to play.

Desert Dust was the first person outside of Muqiu Ye Xiu added on QQ. They taunted each other, but on occasion, they’d have deeper conversations about the state of development of the pro league as well as comments about life.

Ye Xiu would think back on this and say he’d probably developed a bit of a crush on Desert Dust based on their mutual respect and just the fun they had together, but also how in tune they were and how on the same level they were. It was never unequal. It was always respectful, as much as trash talk could be. It was just that, trash talk. Never true insults, just needling and recommendations for improving.

Lord Grim couldn’t make it on stage due to leveling restrictions, but they’d make different legends. Muqiu worked on his character and created Evil Annihilation for One Autumn Leaf for Ye Xiu. He also made Dancing Rain for Mucheng when she started showing a passing interest in the game.

And then the gathering of players for teams occurred and Ye Xiu kept up a steady stream of chatter to Desert Dust who he learned was named Han Wenqing. They analyzed prospects and possibilities and mentioned friends and foes. They met in game to discuss idle nothings while dueling, Su Muqiu needing the data to improve the silver weaponry.

Ye Xiu was doing better than he ever had been. He told Han Wenqing this once when the man ventured to ask about his family. Han Wenqing had a supportive mother. Ye Xiu couldn’t relate and left it alone.

He shouldn’t have jinxed things. He still woke up from nightmares because of this thought.

Su Muqiu forgot his ID right when they were supposed to sign up for the league. He went to get it in the midst of a Typhoon. Whether the driver didn’t stop or couldn’t stop, it was useless to try and figure it out. Ye Xiu had just emerged to go look for him when he saw it happen, as if time had slowed, rain turning his veins icy cold.

A flash of lights, the honk of a horn, the splash of water, the screech of tires, a loud thud.

A spatter of blood.

Su Muqiu died in his arms. He looked up into Ye Xiu’s eyes with a confused smile, wondering why the other was crying. His eyes begged for Ye Xiu to look after Mucheng. Begged of him to keep moving on; to chase the sun and their dreams in glory.

His last words were “love… you…” and whether he was going to say Ye Xiu, or Mucheng or that was the whole statement, the answer would never be known.

The whole thing took less than a minute. A bystander attempted first aid. The ambulance arrived in a flurry of workers and Ye Xiu was soaked to the bone.

He was D.O.A.

Su Muqiu was dead.

In that instant, everything stopped.

In the hallway, watching as they covered his body in a sheet solemnly, he whispered his name. “Muqiu.”

It was a fleeting word, drifting away from him like an autumn leaf drifting to the ground.

Hollowness spread through him so deeply he didn’t understand at first.

He didn’t feel this way when he ran away despite losing his family. He may not always get along with Ye Qiu, but he loved him.

But he realized it was because it didn’t feel entirely final. Despite the knowledge he’d likely die if he ever was caught, he still believed he’d have a chance to see Ye Qiu again.

But this was final. No longer could he look into the eyes of the boy he’d called his friend.

It was an unimaginable thought that when Su Muqiu ran out to get his ID, that it would be the last time Ye Xiu would ever see him.

No aunts or uncles arrived for the funeral, having since long abandoned that family seeing as they grew up in an orphanage. Mucheng had passed out when she first heard the news, and now, even with support of her brother’s teammates as hesitant friends, she was broken.

No words appeared before her in the aftermath. Tears streamed out of her eyes and down to the street. Every single thing she touched seemed to become sick with sadness because it was all over as if her brother’s life just wasn’t meant to be. She couldn’t bring herself to say goodbye. Who could say goodbye to someone who was a bigger part of her everyday than the entire sky was? Did some force take him from her because she didn’t pray? Every single thing to come turned to ashes now; there was no glory there. She supposed it wasn’t meant to be.

But Ye Xiu kept going as if he still believed despite knowing that he had a lot to long for and a lot to live without. He was never going to meet what would have been – what could have been – what should have been – Su Muqiu.

Ye Xiu however, pushed forward. Pushed forward for what? For their dream, of course. He promised he’d chase the sun in Muqiu’s steed. He couldn’t back down now.

Mucheng couldn’t stand to look at a computer.

~~~~~

In the first match Excellent Era had against Tyranny, Excellent Era won.

After the match, the two teams went on stage, but Ye Xiu didn’t join them. He was hiding for a reason.

He gazed down at his hands that he sometimes thought were still stained with blood, willing them not to shake, clenching his fists to make the moment pass.

Han Wenqing found him backstage.

Ye Xiu offered a tight smile and a quip to ease the strain he was causing. Han Wenqing raised a pointed eyebrow at him before plopping down beside him, their shoulders brushing together, and remaining steadfast and tall.

A strength Ye Xiu didn’t know he needed, holding him up unknowingly and without being asked.

Han Wenqing’s actions screamed “I don’t know what happened, but I know something’s wrong. I’m here in any way you need me to be and any way I can be.”

Ye Xiu’s silence said “thank you.”

They walked away from each other not long after.

~~~~~

“Do you want to come?” Ye Xiu asked Mucheng as he readied a small serving of food. She used to be the one who cooked and cleaned for Muqiu and him after she came home from school, but she couldn’t bring herself to try anymore.

Quietly, she shook her head, picking up her chopsticks to shove the food around listlessly.

Distantly, she was aware she was being stubborn, but she just couldn’t care all that much. Everything she once was, a smiley, cheery, optimistic person, was all gone the moment she’d heard that her brother was gone.

She’d come to think of Ye Xiu as a brother, but he hadn’t been with her for as long as Muqiu had. He was her biological brother, and now he was gone.

Ye Xiu had stepped into the role of big brother with ease, most likely because he was one to begin with, even if his little brother was his twin.

Mucheng had no appetite. She was too busy thinking about Glory.

When she used to think about glory, she was thinking of trying it for herself and listening to what her brother and Ye Xiu were up to in the game. Now when she thought about it, it was with resentment. Glory was the game that took away her brother. And now Ye Xiu continued to pursue it. Would she lose him to it too?

Her thoughts must have translated into her grip because she felt Ye Xiu pry her fingers off her chopsticks.

She released her grip and took a breath, but words she’d been holding in her heart ever since the pro alliance burst from her lips.

“Do you even care?”

Ye Xiu blinked before kneeling down to be at her level. “What do you mean?”

“Do you even care that Glory killed gege? Do you even care that he’s gone? WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS?!” She didn’t know exactly what “this” was. Was it playing Glory? Was it taking care of her? Was it continuing living?

All her frustration built up and she turned and shoved Ye Xiu harshly.

His eyes widened in terror for a fraction of a second before falling on his back.

Mucheng held her arm extended where she’d reached and pushed him. But not just pushed, hit. She hit him. She hit him directly in the heart.

Ye Xiu lay on the ground, his breath coming in short gasps Mucheng recognized as panic. His eyes welled with tears, before he shut them, squeezing tight. He reached his right hand and placed his palm against his heart.

After a steadying moment, he opened his eyes, and the tears that had gathered fell down the sides of his head, salt streaming into his ears. He stared at the blank ceiling as Mucheng withdrew her hand, staring at it in horror. What had she just done?

She just pushed her brother. The panic and fear she’d seen there was so much more than any non-traumatized person should have had. She was 15, not stupid.

“The last things he told me was that he loved us, and his eyes begged me to take care of you, and to take care of our Glory.”

Ye Xiu’s voice was hoarse.

“All this time, you’d been supporting our dream. All this time, Muqiu was supporting me. He was a good player, a great player, but I could still win every round against him. He decided to become a support for me. But it wasn’t ever just me, it was always us. Because even as we pursued this dream, it was a team effort, and not just in the game, but outside too.”

Ye Xiu was rambling. This was possibly the most she’d ever heard him talk at once.

“Muqiu became my brother, and you became my sister. Of course I care that he died, but Glory didn’t kill him. Of course I care that he’s gone. I care so much more than I let on. I see too much. I look next to me to consult him on something just to find that he’s not there. That he’ll never be there again. I saw him for the last time and didn’t know it.”

Ye Xiu swallowed and began to sit up. The tears were flowing, his eyes swelling with red. He looked at Mucheng.

“I always treated him as a brother, but he was a sworn brother, and… he could’ve been more. I thought I’d have him in some way in my life for a lifetime. Every time I think about what could have been… it’s like a bullet right through me.”

He crossed his legs and leaned forward, his hand still holding onto his heart.

“I’m doing this for him. I’m doing this for you. I’m doing this for me.”

And wasn’t that just it? Originally his dream had been to pursue Glory, but it had morphed into doing so with Muqiu. Into doing so alongside Desert Dust and his friends that were now teammates. And all his planning always had Mucheng in it.

Was there ever a day where Muqiu wasn’t supporting Mucheng? She couldn’t think of a single day where he didn’t show how much he cared and loved her.

Mucheng could recall a time right after they’d met Ye Xiu. Muqiu was playing and Mucheng came to visit. Ye Xiu had gone to the washroom.

“Gege, you packed me an extra candy! Thank you!”

Muqiu stopped at that. He smiled. “You’re welcome, but it was Ye Xiu who gave it to you.”

Mucheng tilted her head. “Why does he give things to me?”

“Because he cares about you.”

Mucheng frowned. But he hardly knew her!

Muqiu must have seen her expression. “Ye Xiu is the type of person to care deeply about certain people. He doesn’t express his care outwardly, mostly even acts the complete opposite, insulting and teasing people he cares about, but in other little ways and even through this teasing, he’s showing he cares.”

Muqiu smiled. “Ye Xiu has been through a lot. He’s been through more than most and his trust has been betrayed many times. But he is the most reliable person you could know and the most loyal and caring person towards people he likes. I owe him for making my dreams become reality, step by step. For showing me so much more than the little niche I grew up in. I don’t just owe him though, I want everything he can offer because despite not believing it himself, he’s worth everything and more. I want to be side by side with him.” 

Mucheng hadn’t understood it then. She called her brother weird and he’d laughed. Ye Xiu had returned and braided her hair before destroying Muqiu in several matches while her brother used the data to improve weapons he was designing for Ye Xiu’s sake.

Mucheng rose from her chair and reached to help Ye Xiu up. As he pulled his hand away, his shirt was caught in his grip and the briefest of flashes his chest could be seen. Just below his collar bone, angled inwards and down towards his sternum, was a scar over his heart. It was such a brief instant Mucheng might’ve missed it, but she’d seen flashes of it on occasion before.

Unable to truly comprehend anything right now, Mucheng kept quiet, digesting what Ye Xiu had said.

It was approaching time for the finals. Ye Xiu had just returned from practice just to feed her. He gave her a gentle squeeze on the shoulder and left to try and fulfill that dream.

~~~~~

It was that night, the night of the finals, where Mucheng, home alone, found the account card.

She had been mulling over what Ye Xiu had said, mulling over what her brother had said, trying to straighten out her feelings and ignore the anguish of knowing that her brother was gone while she fiddled with her lanyard in the dark and her ID and a Glory card fell out.

She had been holding onto her brothers account, carrying the last piece of him with her. She looked down at it and thought, why did this have to be the last piece of him? Why couldn’t it have been something else so I didn’t have to resent it?

She went to pick it up, but wait, this wasn’t his card?

She hadn’t actually looked too deeply at it. Ye Xiu had said it was a gift for her and she believed Muqiu had left his account for her.

But this wasn’t his account. It was a different one?

Curiosity got the better of her, and she had nothing else to do anyways.

She slipped it into the card reader, following all the steps she knew by heart simply from watching her brother.

When the character finally loaded, her whole being froze as she stared at Dancing Rain, reflective of her own image that held hints of her brother too.

Their hair color. Their eyes. Their gentle genial smiles.

It was beautiful. With this, she had herself and her brother and her brother’s dream and it could be her dream – had been her dream – that secret little dream she’d held in her heart even as she worked hard at school like she was asked to when all she wanted to do was support her brothers.

And her brother had seen it, had known it, had known she was always meant to support them and play a role in achieving something great.

He had made this just for her, in their image, and he’d passed that dream, that something great, to just Ye Xiu, and Mucheng loved Ye Xiu like a brother and she wanted to play a role to support him; she always had.

She gathered that card and ran to the stadium, being extremely careful of the roads despite the weather being clear. She screamed from the stands when she managed to contact Tao Xuan to let her in and she sat with him and watched Ye Xiu win their first championship.

She found him backstage, tears still in his eyes. She saw a tough looking boy watching his back as the team led Ye Xiu away, noticing he glanced back once or twice too. She held that in her heart for now. She intended to play a small role in getting everything her brother wanted, both the one in front of her, and the one encouraging her from behind.

~~~~~

Chen Guo was moved by the revelation that Su Muqiu had been the one to design Dancing Rain and gift it to his little sister for it to become so iconic in the pro alliance. No wonder Ye Xiu asked for Dancing Rain and not One Autumn Leaf when Tao Xuan came over.

Ye Xiu could only look over his shoulder back to the grave, that hollowness spreading for a moment before being quelled by a deep voice he wished was here and not in Qingdao just so he wouldn’t fall back into the pattern of thinking that maybe all this time he’d deserved the torture he’d received for having failed to save Su Muqiu. He didn’t have the heart to tell Chen Guo the whole story and Han Wenqing barely knew even a fraction as well. It was better this way, he told himself.

They went home. Ye Xiu went to bed.

It was better that way.

~~~~~

Excellent Era was relegated. While it wasn’t a surprise to team Happy, it was to the rest of the fans and there was pretty much a riot wherever one went in Hangzhou, at least, anywhere that glory players predominantly congregated. Oh well, the perks of being anonymous. They had skill points to sell!

Wei Chen had done fabulous research on completing quests in certain ways to increase skill book drops and Luo Ji used his connections in university to increase the plausibility even more. Of course, as a new team, they were lacking money, so after they got all the skill points they could for their own characters, they decided to sell them.

And what better team to sell them to than the team most determined to win a championship this season: Samsara.

Ye Xiu was truly a mastermind. As much as he hadn’t planned his way out of the contracts he’d signed with Cui Li, he did know what he was doing when negotiating deals for Glory. 

When he’d arrived at Samsara after a train ride, he messaged a contact within and showcased exactly what he had to offer. When it was discovered just how important this information was, his friend Tong Lin, immediately started dragging Ye Xiu through the halls of Samsara to the boss’ office. 

Tong Lin grabbed Ye Xiu’s wrist and dragged him, unaware of the glazed look that took over Ye Xiu’s gaze. When Ye Xiu stumbled in front of a doorway, Tong Lin stopped and ran off to get the boss, his mind going a million miles a minute that he couldn’t quite figure out what he wanted to do first. Leaving Ye Xiu standing there, it took the man a minute to come back to himself, and when he did, he saw Samara’s members in their training room staring at him. Most of the newer Samsara members only vaguely knew who he was but were shocked at the vague recognition, and Jiang Botao and Zhou Zekai were truly shocked. 

Despite popular belief of his unsociability, Zhou Zekai had actually become quite close with Ye Qiu. Jiang Botao, despite not being as close with the man, stood and approached him carefully when he saw the glazed look, recognizing something horrifying in the man’s eyes. 

Everyone else was stunned silent as Jiang Botao was about to reach out to attempt to help Ye Xiu when Tong Lin came back.

“Come come come!” He was too enthusiastic and Ye Xiu cringed, tensing in anticipation of being grabbed again. Zhou Zekai had joined Jiang Botao at the door and when Tong Lin reached to pull at Ye Xiu’s jacket, Zhou Zekai, the quiet and soft-spoken man immediately stated firmly “no touch.”

Tong Lin froze. Ye Xiu’s eyes widened before he swallowed, stood up straight, and slammed a shudder down on his emotions. 

Ye Xiu glanced at Zhou Zekai and Jiang Botao with a hard gaze, imploring for what they didn’t truly know, but Tong Lin was practically vibrating where he stood and Ye Xiu nodded and walked after the man who nearly tripped in his haste to lead Ye Xiu to the boss. 

The whole team remained quiet, the lower leveled members stunned and Zhou Zekai and Jiang Botao sharing a look that no one else could decipher as they stared after the backs of the figures they’d just saw before sitting down and waiting to possibly be called to the boss’ office. 

They weren’t disappointed and were quickly called in to the office with their account cards. It was revealed that Ye Xiu had brought the methods to increase their skill points and that quickly distracted them from any lingering thoughts of before when faced with his current facade of overconfidence, but regardless it wasn’t removed entirely and instead placed on the back burner. Ye Xiu expertly marketed his product and Samsara had to seriously consider what to pay for this chance. Ye Xiu directly left Samara to stay the night in a hotel, avoiding Jiang Botao and Zhou Zekai who had questions about his reaction from before. 

Ye Xiu left the next day with a massive amount of money in actual cash and promised materials and a distinctly uncomfortable feeling that he’d revealed a little too much of himself to some people. 

~~~~~ 

Excellent Era being relegated certainly made things more difficult for team Happy as they knew neither would go down without a fight. 

It wasn’t just warfare in the game but in real life too. Excellent Era brought Xiao Shiqin, the last master tactician, onto their lifeboat in an attempt to save the sinking ship. It was a valuable move but Ye Xiu could see the weaknesses from the beginning and began plotting. 

He hadn’t truly expected a visit from Excellent Era. 

Tao Xuan dragged Xiao Shiqin, Sun Xiang, and Cui Li across the street to an internet Cafe where they were hesitatingly brought up to the area where team Happy practiced. 

Xiao Shiqin had been puzzled at Su Mucheng’s lack of dedication to Excellent Era until he was presented with Ye Qiu forming a new team. 

Ye Qiu let Xiao Shiqin take a seat as he was close with most of the Golden Generation since  they all started the same year as Mucheng. When Tao Xuan was clearly taunting them and Sun Xiang blatantly insulted Ye Qiu. Shiqin’s confusion only skyrocketed. 

When Cui Li made to step further into the room and away from Tao Xuan’s side, the unholy flinch that Ye Xiu produced had Xiao Shiqin’s mouth going dry. Tao Xuan actually grabbed Cui Li to prevent him from leaving his side and the man’s expression turned dark and focused on Ye Qiu before it cleared into forced passivity. 

Just what had gone down between Ye Qiu and Excellent Era? He could only guess but at least now he understood Su Mucheng was acting so distant from Excellent Era. She wasn’t staying and in fact the team she wanted to join would be playing against them. It was unfortunate because Xiao Shiqin had originally had many tactics that relied on Su Mucheng but if Excellent Era didn’t trust her he’d have to rework a lot. 

Xiao Shiqin didn’t know whether to sigh in his heart or not. He resolved not to relax. His opponent was Ye Qiu. 

Sun Xiang was largely ignored but he was close enough to Xiao Shiqin to see the determination cross his features. They both gazed at Ye Qiu in silence, only one of which held contempt. 

Chen Guo was informed that Qiao Yifan had arrived and Tao Xuan took that opportunity to get back to Excellent Era. Tao Xuan followed behind all of Happy except for Ye Xiu, who stood back with Xiao Shiqin, Sun Xiang hovering in the doorway. 

Ye Xiu made eye contact with Xiao Shiqin.  “Don’t be alone with Cui Li.” 

Sun Xiang froze where he was. If he thought about his time at Excellent Era, he’d realize he hadn’t been alone with Cui Li more than a handful of times and only for very brief moments. Why would Ye Qiu warn against… 

He was so lost in thought he missed Ye Xiu slipping past him and down the stairs quickly, eyes on his team and specifically on Cui Li amongst them. 

Sun Xiang and Xiao Shiqin exchanged a look and the confusion present on Sun Xiang’s features confirmed he was just as clueless as Xiao Shiqin was. 

They left; Chen Guo having returned to make sure they hadn’t stayed in the room to steal secrets. 

When all were together, poor naive little cabbage Qiao Yifan accidentally made a big stink about Excellent Era being there, allowing team Happy to disappear from the limelight and pulling Excellent Era away from the cafe. Very convenient. 

Ye Xiu hoped Xiao Shiqin took his warning to heart. Yang Yinzhi and Qin Fu could only be so many places at once. 

~~~~~ 

When Excellent Era said Lord Grim was Ye Qiu, the Glory world was in an uproar. How could their ex-captain fight against Excellent Era? Many fans had much to say, but when the Challenger League began, everyone was shocked when Lord Grim’s Player’s name was in fact Ye Xiu. A completely different character! What bullshit was Excellent Era spewing? 

After being humiliated, Cui Li had had enough. Every path to someone who could harm Ye Qiu was being blocked, so all he could do is gather the team’s rookies and look to go crush the spirits of those people Ye Qiu now called friends and teammates. 

All these cocky rookies had been influenced by the newer generation that outright sabotaged Ye Qiu such as Liu Hao. That is, everyone but Qiu Fei. He was supposed to be Ye Qiu’s successor, but now? Now he was just confused. 

They went to face team Happy and failed miserably even when they won. Eventually, it was Qiu Fei’s second turn and Ye Xiu came up on Tang Rou’s account to give this young man who’d he’d reared in his image (minus all the negatives). 

Qiu Fei didn’t realize it was a training match, and no one bothered to tell him out of fear of distracting him. It was this training match and Ye Xiu saying to watch it over later that had Qiu Fei exiting the club as if he was about to go find Ye Qiu across the street and shake him by his collar until he explained himself. 

Why did he leave with not so much as a word? Why did he not bring up the issues within the team? How could he abandon all he’d worked for?

But that was just it. He hadn’t mentioned the team issues and was forced out with no opportunities to advance, so he had to find a new way. Despite all he did to “betray” Excellent Era, it was for the sake of Glory. (And unbeknownst to Qiu Fei, for the sake of Mucheng and Qiu Fei himself). 

Qiu Fei resolutely determined to not back down. He may be on the opposite side, but he wanted Glory all the same. 

He came back and everyone else had dispersed in defeat. They were too green even if they were talented rookies. 

Qiu Fei sat down and began to download the VOD from the match when Chen Yehui came behind him to observe. Chen Yehui had been in cahoots with Tao Xuan and so actively hated Ye Qiu. He insulted him to Qiu Fei who remained steadfast until his download was done before punching him in the face. 

He threw down the word “nonsense” and left, knowing that Ye Qiu wouldn’t have put in so much effort into the training match if he didn’t care. He really hadn’t thought through his actions. It was a good thing he didn’t hurt his hand. 

Chen Yehui was far too embarrassed at being beaten up by a rookie that he knew he’d not say anything about this attack. He was a loser but if he admitted he had been insulting Ye Qiu, it could potentially expose their past plot of kicking out Ye Qiu. 

~~~~~ 

Team Happy, despite a few missteps, bulldozed their way through the Challenger league similar to Excellent Era. It truly was no real surprise that Team Happy and Excellent Era would make it to the finals although very lucky they hadn’t met earlier. 

Everyone, pros included, were skeptical that Ye Qiu was the one controlling Lord Grim. Made no sense that he wouldn’t but the Glory Alliance didn’t make any mistakes. 

So, it was no surprise that many of the pros just accepted someone else had registered for Ye Qiu. 

This is what led to the issue, as Excellent Era believed this too. So what were they to do but confront Ye Qiu seeing as only “Ye Xiu” could control Lord Grim on the online match. 

As such, a reporter, Tao Xuan, Cui Li, and many team Happy members had an impromptu meeting regarding Ye Xiu/Qiu. 

“We want to meet this Ye Xiu!” Cui Li said. 

Wei Chen had created a slanted barrier between Ye Xiu and Cui Li, and Tao Xuan by consequence of being on the same side as Cui Li. He still had never gotten the details, but he didn’t need it. When he had spare moments, he was able to parse out the details and concluded it was someone in upper management that had beaten Ye Xiu. Wei Chen and all other members, minus perhaps Mo Fan who only came after being incessantly restricted in game, had had meetings to improve Ye Xiu’s physical health. He wasn’t about to let that all go to waste by letting him get beaten before such an important match. 

“Ye Xiu? Isn’t that me?” 

“You dare admit that you’re using a fake identity?” 

“Who said this identity is fake?” 

“That’s the funniest joke I’ve ever heard.” Tao Xuan cut in, glancing at the rigid posture of Cui Li who looked like a coiled spring about to release. 

“In reality, Ye Qiu is the fake identity.” 

What. No no no. They must have heard wrong. 

“How?!” Tao Xuan could only demand. 

“Is it too much of a cliche novel plot to say I have a twin?” 

You fucking kidding? 

“Seriously?”

“Yep. I used my younger twin brothers ID to register back then since I didn’t have my own ID.” 

“You can’t think that now that you’re using your real identity everything would be like nothing happened?” Cui Li hissed in a sneer. 

“Of course not,” Ye Xiu said faux calmly. He could hear the double entendre behind those words. Cui Li wasn’t just referring to Excellent Era but also all that he’d done to Ye Xiu, the contracts he still held that Ye Xiu was constantly and consistently violating. He’d checked up on Mucheng everyday, so Ye Xiu was very confused why nothing more had happened and silently vowed to owe his life to Yang Yinzhi and Qin Fu later. “so, we have to deal with the problem carefully.” 

“We?” 

“Yes. I won three championships at Excellent Era with this identity, or did you forget?” 

Damn it all! He was right! 

“If this is taken seriously, you’ll have to face legal responsibility for identity theft.” Cui Li, shocked stupid, could only try and cling to some sort of control. Ye Xiu couldn’t win. He couldn’t be the one in control… 

“Yeah. So will you take it seriously?” 

If they did, they’d just be shooting themselves in the foot! They’d be stripped of their titles and perhaps also be charged. There was also the fact that everything Cui Li was evidenced and being held over his head by Su Mucheng. If they clapped at Ye Xiu, he’d clap right back. 

Since it was always just Ye Xiu playing and not his twin, Tao Xuan said they’d just say Ye Qiu was a stage name. Just when things were concluding, Cui Li still glaring daggers at Ye Xiu who had gained confidence in his teammates over time, there was a bang in the door. Who was there? Well none other than the mother fucking head of the Glory Pro Alliance, Feng Xianjun. 

Oh god. Was this the Alliance finally coming after him? Cui Li couldn’t help but think. It was a shame it wasn’t. 

“Chairman, have a seat first.” It was just like Ye Xiu to put someone’s well-being first. He’d even stepped out from behind Wei Chen to help Chairman Feng sit down. He was worried about the man’s heart. 

When they assured him of the same things as before, Feng Xianjun could only leave. 

If only he knew of the bombshell that was yet to shake the Alliance, he would definitely need more heart medication. Ye Xiu would admit that this was added to the pile of excuses he used to not come forward about Cui Li. 

Tao Xuan and Cui Li took their leave, Cui Li stoic and well-behaved, but to someone like Ye Xiu who made it his business to know every expression of Cui Li to estimate exactly how brutal a punishment was going to be could tell the main was on a hair-thin trigger and was likely going to lose composure eventually. And Ye Xiu could no more warn anyone than he could stop Cui Li. 

Excellent Era’s statement came out that night. 

~~~~~ 

Ye Qiu. 

Ye Xiu.

Ye Xiu. 

All this fucking time, he’d been using a fake name? 

Han Wenqing’s astonishment was belied by a sinking feeling in his stomach. If he had been using a fake name for 10 fucking years, not even telling his then lover, then he could only imagine what was still to come. Why had he hidden himself? What was he running from? 

Han Wenqing damn near crushed his mouse when he first saw the news and when he double checked the news on his phone he gripped it so tightly, the screen quivered. 

He had to excuse himself from the vicinity of his teammates. He splashed water on his face and stared at himself in the mirror, trying to forcefully will away the feeling of foreboding dread that was consuming him. 

“Ye Xiu. Just what is going on?” He spoke out loud, but silence would be his only answer. 

~~~~~ 

He had been searching for so long. 

Searching for the boy, searching for the toy. 

He hid better than he thought he could. He was better at games than he had any right to be. 

He should have known it wouldn’t last forever. 

The man stared at the article titled: Ye Qiu is Ye Xiu? 

Really, the man should have known. The boy did it for his brother, why wouldn’t he use his brother’s name? Even so, Ye Qiu is so common, it was unlikely the man would have found him anyways. 

You made me wait for so long Ye Xiu. 

But now… 

I’ve found you. 

The man’s smile was an eerie facsimile of a sane smile, but his eyes belied his mania and psychopathy. 

You’re gonna fucking pay for eluding me for so long. Just you fucking wait. 

~~~~~ 

When the Challenger League final began, a multitude of people tuned in after hearing the news that Lord Grim really was Ye Qiu, now Ye Xiu. 

If fans were watching just to see how their team would react, they would be disappointed by the lack of reaction, but honestly the reality was even more baffling than before. 

When the first individual round began, Ye Xiu, the mysterious former Captain of Excellent Era that no one had ever seen before, walked up on stage with his face bare. 

Everyone’s first thought was, ‘that’s the Battle God?’. 

He was too pretty! How could someone known for their trash talk and shamelessness be that pretty? 

He wasn’t as handsome as Zhou Zekai, but he had pale skin and a thin face accentuated by beautiful, slanted eyes and peach lips that appeared soft. His black hair and his overall stature gave the vibe of perpetual bed head no matter what he did, and it looked extremely fluffy too. He wasn’t overly tall, honestly probably average height for males in China, and he dressed in clothes just a little too big, including his team jacket. 

Some people immediately thought, he’s too skinny! They weren’t wrong. 

There was thankfully no close up on his eyes or their golden color might have made several people swoon, but maybe also cry because his eyes were both determined and laced with profound pain. 

Tao Xuan gritted his teeth from the other side of the stage. Now the fucker decides to show his face? Fucking now? After all this time??? If they lost here then what was the fucking point of kicking Ye Xiu out in the first place?!? 

Cui Li kept himself carefully still and his face neutral to not expose his wicked smile. Only he knew the extent of all the scars that littered that man’s body. 

Ones that would never, ever leave him. Cui Li made his mark. Ye Xiu would never be the same again, no matter how many times he won Glory. 

~~~~~

Think fast, I’ve got to last if I want to make it for the rest of the night. I’m trapped, I can’t go back don’t have a choice but to stay. And we’ll fight, keep defending for the night. And I’ll keep going, just stay by my side.

~~~~~

Chapter Text

~~~~~

This may be the last sunset I'll see. I'll take it in, I'll take it in. This may be the last day that I'll breathe. I'll breathe it in. I'll breathe it in. And get lost. Lost in the moment.

~~~~~

When the Challenger League’s final began, a multitude of people turned up and tuned in after hearing the news that Lord Grim really was Ye Qiu, now Ye Xiu. 

If fans were watching just to see how team Excellent Era would react, they would be disappointed by the lack of reaction, but honestly the reality was even more baffling, as something much more shocking occurred.  

When the first individual round began, Ye Xiu, the mysterious former Captain of Excellent Era that no one had ever seen before, walked up on stage with his face bare. 

Lots of peoples’ first thought was, ‘that’s the Battle God?’. 

He was too pretty! How could someone known for their trash talk and shamelessness be that pretty? 

He wasn’t as handsome as Zhou Zekai, but he had pale skin and a thin face accentuated by beautiful, slanted eyes and peach lips that appeared soft. His black hair and his overall stature gave the vibe of perpetual bed head no matter what he did, and it looked extremely fluffy too. He wasn’t overly tall, honestly probably average height for males in China, and he dressed in clothes just a little too big, including his team jacket. 

Some people immediately thought, he’s too skinny! They weren’t wrong. 

There was thankfully no close-up on his eyes in the stadium or on the broadcast. Otherwise, their golden color might have made several people swoon, but maybe also cry because his eyes were both determined and laced with profound pain. 

Tao Xuan gritted his teeth from the other side of the stage. Now the fucker decides to show his face? Fucking now? After all this time??? If they lost here then what was the fucking point of kicking Ye Xiu out in the first place?!? 

Cui Li kept himself carefully still and his face neutral to not expose his wicked smile. Only he knew the extent of all the scars that littered that man’s body. 

Ones that would never, ever leave him. Cui Li made his mark. Ye Xiu would never be the same again, no matter how many times he won Glory. 

~~~~~ 

The finals progressed, Excellent Era and Team Happy neck in neck. It wasn’t until the very end of the group challenge where she beat Sun Zheping that everything changed. The match itself was brilliant. They both had fought to their fullest and the crowd lamented how awful it was that the man had fallen to a hand injury. They expected Su Mucheng to exit the match after having won, but she didn’t. Dancing Rain stayed in the game. Su Mucheng didn’t exit her player booth.

“My time with Excellent Era ends here.” She wrote in the chat.

The stadium was stunned silent.

Under the gaze of everyone in the stadium, Su Mucheng exited her player booth. It was obvious to anyone that she was not intending to go back to Excellent Era’s side. Cui Li, in a fit of rage, moved to intercept Su Mucheng by whatever means necessary. He would not let her get away from him! She held power over him no longer! He was the alpha! He was the one in charge and she would pay for abandoning ship! He moved to hit her when she passed by the Excellent Era seating area, but he found himself halted in place by a well-timed pull from a security guard he didn’t realize was there with the players.

Qin Fu pulled Cui Li back until he was sitting back in his chair, levering himself forward to edge along the side of the stage in the shadows and out of view until he was walking in tandem with Su Mucheng who made no move to acknowledge his presence.

He made sure she would get across the stage safely while the stadium exploded in confusion. When she reached team Happy’s player seating area, Ye Xiu was already standing. With hastened steps, leaving behind Qin Fu to find a place against the wall, Mucheng launched herself at Ye Xiu who opened his arms to catch her. He hugged her tight and in a way that was entirely like a brother hugging a sister. He whispered into her ear “leave the rest to me!”

“Mn.” Was her only response as Chen Guo and Tang Rou came over and helped her sit. When Mucheng’s tears continued to flow, she turned her head and buried her face in Ye Xiu’s shoulder.

Ye Xiu turned his head to make eye contact with Qin Fu. Ye Xiu nodded at the man, grateful beyond words.

The crowd couldn’t calm down. Just how deep did the friendship between Ye Xiu and Su Mucheng go? Because Ye Xiu was always a private person, no one knew. But to have evidence of it now, it was too astonishing. And this meant she wasn’t in the team arena on Excellent Era’s side either! Just what was going on!? Such a public statement!

While everyone including the commentators speculated on her actions, Tao Xuan’s face was stormy and Cui Li was taking deep breaths to try and prevent himself from rushing over there and giving her a piece of his mind. This was unprecedented! How could Cui Li not be in control of the situation? Because she made it such a public thing, reporters would undoubtedly look deeper into it. And if they did, what would they find?

Everything.

Tao Xuan regained composure first and calmed down the rest of the team. They had all pretty much known Su Mucheng was not going to be staying, they just hadn’t known she planned it for right now and in front of the whole world.

But they still had a team match to win.

The match was intense and had many highs and lows. Xiao Shiqin really wasn’t experienced enough in being a powerhouse team that he wasn’t up to par.

It left only Sun Xiang on Excellent Era’s side and Ye Xiu with a healer, and it was the first time Sun Xiang truly considered that he had been beaten. He had given his all and it still wasn’t enough. When Ye Xiu stated that Glory wasn’t meant to be played alone, Sun Xiang’s fighting spirit had already been diminished. He agreed to those words, typed ‘gg’ and directly left the match.

The crowd went fucking ape shit, but no one saw the way Cui Li’s entire self seemed to shiver and vibrate with rage, his pupils blown wide. Yang Yinzhi was the one holding him back as Sun Xiang returned to his seat. Tao Xuan could only exclaim “FUCK” in futility.

“The match wasn’t over, why did you leave?” Tao Xuan yelled furiously at Sun Xiang.

“I couldn’t win.”

“How would you know without trying?”

“Because Glory was never meant to be played alone.”

All this time, he had been trying to boost himself when on the other side of the street, a team was being born. He never truly understood the meaning of having teammates at your back until he was all alone and faced with a person who seemed to pull friendships and support so deep it was unfathomable.

Sun Xiang wanted to belong to a team. This would be his new goal.

Tao Xuan contemplated this. His greed had certainly turned his club into a battlefield that he alone seemed to wade through. Maybe if he’d just worked within peoples’ limits, things wouldn’t have turned out like this.

On stage, Ye Xiu could only smile. He had one eye out for Cui Li, but when the man refused to get out of his chair, Ye Xiu indulged a little less diligence and congratulated his team. He wouldn’t let it stay this way for long though. He could see it. No one else would believe him if he told them but he knew. He always knew.

Team Happy received their certificate to enter the pro alliance from Chairman Feng. Excellent Era filed out to attend their press conference and Team Happy was left to celebrate for a bit. Wielding his extensive experience in slipping away unseen, Ye Xiu made his way to see Excellent Era’s press conference.

~~~~~

All Excellent Era members were staring silently and blankly at the floor in silence before the reporters. Cui Li stood at one end and Tao Xuan on the other, guards on the bottom of the stage to prevent anyone from rushing at the players.

“Why did Su Mucheng go over to team Happy’s player area? Is there bad blood between Excellent Era and Su Mucheng?” One brave reporter asked. Cui Li, with gritted teeth stated that they’d be convening with Su Mucheng at a later time.

“How did Excellent Era convene after Ye Xiu announced his retirement?” Qiu Fei spoke with such venom, the slight murmuring ceased suddenly. He continued, “you really think he was meant to retire? He’s in a very good state. You knew it, he knew it. He beat us. This was the ultimate statement that he wouldn’t be taken advantage of any longer.”

It was this comment from one of their own teammates that had Cui Li snapping.

He strode forward so quickly no one reacted until he had Qiu Fei in a chokehold, damn near lifting him from his seat and maybe even off his toes.

All people in the room were absolutely still in shock.

“Ye Xiu!” Cui Li spit out his name, probably likely prepared to say more as Qiu Fei was grasping at his wrists to try and pry them off his neck so he could get even a sliver of air. When that didn’t work, he crooked his right arm a the elbow and swung at Cui Li’s temple where his fist connected with a thump.

Cui Li’s grip staggered and Qiu Fei wiggled free. The moment he was free he stumbled back before a loud thump could be heard and Qie Fei registered a security guard from Excellent Era, he thought his name was Yang Yin-something, tackled Cui Li to the floor of the stage.

After a second of being dazed, Cui Li burst out into maniacal laughter that had everyone from Excellent Era backing away from him in horror, Tao Xuan haltingly requesting multiple ambulances as the rest of security ushered the reporters out.

In their shock, they didn’t see Ye Xiu slink onto the stage, grasp Qiu Fei’s wrist, and lead him away.

~~~~~

Everyone knew who she was and yet no one did. That is to say, she was known in her field, but not easily by outsiders.

This was to her benefit.

Chong Xinyi was a reporter. To some in her field she was known as a cutthroat bitch. To others, she was Xiao Chong*. She always thought it was just a familiarity, but they were really calling her what they really thought she was; the fly on the wall.

She managed to get the stories that no one else could get their hands on because she was so overlooked that she could worm her way in anywhere and didn’t bother to sugarcoat what she found.

She was a cutthroat bitch. She was the fly on the wall.

She saw it happen. It wasn’t hard to have seen. There were multiple cameras that caught the way Manager Cui Li went for Qiu Fei’s throat. Chong Xinyi was near the front, and she got everything in high definition.

The look of fear and shock on the rookie’s face. The indents in his neck as Cui Li strangled him. Qiu Fei’s fist clenching before he lifted it and swung at Cui Li’s face. The way the security guards had already surged forward, preparing to tackle.  

It should be noted that the angle and timing was hard to decipher. Was it Qiu Fei that hit him first? Was it a security guard that tackled him first? Both? (The general consensus was both)

With Cui Li on the ground, Chang Xinyi had her camera at his eye level, so she saw the way a smile stretched across his lips, how he tried to bringa hand up to cover his eye as he began to laugh only for the security guard to pry it away from him.

His laugh was wild with insanity.

It was during the commotion of Cui Li being restrained and reporters being ushered out that Chong Xinyi caught sight of him.

Qiu Fei, after being released from the chokehold, had stumbled off to the side and stared in similar horror as the rest of his team at the man who’d just attempted to kill him publicly.

Weaving a way through the crowd was one Ye Xiu who climbed the small set of stairs. He leaned in and seemed to grab Qiu Fei’s wrist loosely. The young man turned and followed with wide eyes, not truly even seeing his former Captain and dazedly following along.

Ye Xiu was a master at avoiding detection and reporters, so he probably knew all the secret hallways that led to the backstage player areas. He began to guide Qiu Fei there.

When she saw him, Chong Xinyi subconsciously began to gravitate towards them. Then, when they disappeared, she waited a beat before she followed, keeping her footsteps silent with practiced ease. She never wore high heels for this reason alone.

She didn’t sneak. She didn’t want to look suspicious. She couldn’t really see where they’d went, but she followed her instincts until she found a room that had the door cracked opened ever so slightly.

Inside, it was clearly a sort of change room or something. She wondered why an esports stadium had one of those, but she didn’t really care. Sitting on a bench was Qiu Fei, and kneeling before him was Ye Xiu.

Chong Xinyi went into action. From her pocket, she withdrew her microphone and threaded it under the door and against the wall. In her earpiece, the machinery blared as it was exceedingly sensitive, but she didn’t flinch. When she could clearly hear what was being said, she stopped. At the crack in the door, she pushed her camera lens into the crack, getting an awkwardly angled, but relatively clear video of the people inside. It was a bit of a side view. The left side of Qiu Fei’s face was visible, and the right half of Ye Xiu’s was.

Ye Xiu held Qiu Fei’s hand, pulling and bending each finger and pressing down on the backs of his hands at the knuckles.

“I’m fine.” Qiu Fei whined; his voice hoarse. He wasn’t fine. He was terrified, coasting on adrenaline alone.

“Just let me make sure. Don’t want you to end up like Sun Zheping. You haven’t even started your career; it can’t end so quickly.”

What he said made sense, but Qiu Fei grumbled unintelligibly.

As Ye Xiu continued to study the appendages, his face grew more solemn. He was staring at Qiu Fei’s neck.

“I’m sorry.” Ye Xiu said.

“For what?” Qiu Fei immediately questioned.

Ye Xiu stared pointedly at the kid’s neck and Qiu Fei shuddered, remembering the chill of fear that slid up his spine as he stared into the crazed eyes of the manager that was strangling him.

He quite visibly began to tremble.

“He was going to kill me. I could see it. I could feel it. It was just like when I knew exactly when my character would die in the match, I thought I was going to die… I knew Cui Li had an angry side, but I never imagined… ” Qiu Fei swallowed and put his head down, staring at his hands.

Ye Xiu didn’t speak but his expression seemed to say that he knew exactly what Cui Li was capable of. That look stunned Qiu Fei when he glanced up. It was here when his mouth finally began to catch up to his mind.

“Wait, Senior Ye, why were you there? How did you know? You were supposed to be with your team…” he trailed off.

Ye Xiu paused as he continued to carefully inspect Qiu Fei’s hand and neck interchangeably.

He kept his expression carefully neutral as he spoke as if it was a very simple matter. “He always hit the hardest and in the most brutal ways after losing a match.” 

Qiu Fei’s mouth gaped, and his eyebrows raised in utter disbelief. “Captain.. Cui Li..?” He couldn’t fathom it, but in a twisted way, having mentioned Cui Li’s notorious angry side, it finally clicked. Who spread the word of that side when no one had seen it? The Captain of course.

Ye Xiu nodded tersely, frowning down as he flipped Qiu Fei’s hand.

“…Captain… did he hit… everyone?”

“Hm? Oh no, only me.” So casual. So flippant. As if he hadn’t endured year (years!) of abuse at the man’s hands.

What.

“Why!!?” Qiu Fei could only exclaim, coughing slightly at the end. There was a weight settling in his stomach, making him feel sick.

Satisfied that Qiu Fei hadn’t hurt his hand, Ye Xiu dropped it. He stood up and looked down at the boy he had begun to raise in his image. Ye Xiu knew the boy took a lot of weight onto his own shoulders. He knew without a shadow of a doubt that the image of betrayal Ye Xiu had left in his wake had likely affected his training for a long time as well as his mindset in general. Ye Xiu owed a lot of people a lot of things, but the one thing he owed to Qiu Fei that he could give was an explanation.

“Because we lost.” Ye Xiu replied. “And Cui Li is the type of guy who can’t handle losing. He gets off on holding power over others. He made sure that I had no money to break my contract, although some of that is on me, and then Cui Li threatened to hurt the people I cared about. I took it because I thought I could dismantle the schemes from the inside and save the empire I built from the ground up. I had hope that I could keep the Excellent Era I’d created standing strong until I was at least out of my prime, and then maybe it would have the footing to stand on its own. I didn’t realize how far it all went; how many different agendas were being played out. I treated the situation like it was a few small mobs when in reality I was facing wild BOSSes. I knew I was cornered, and I left, but I left the people I cared about in true lion’s den.”

He smiled ruefully. There was no forgiveness for that, and Qiu Fei likely already pieced together his guilt and was likely to refute it, so Ye Xiu changed the topic. “Put ice on your hand, 15 minutes off, 15 on. Good for not tucking in your thumb. You saved yourself there, but please try and refrain from punching people; for your sake more so than theirs. We should get you back to the rest of your team so you can be checked out by an EMT.”

Qiu Fei had been shocked speechless. The revelation. The whiplash of it followed by another sharp turnaround back onto the immediate injuries.

Ye Xiu turned to leave, assuming Qiu Fei would follow, but stopped, not facing Qiu Fei.

Chong Xinyi could see his face clearly. There was regret and guilt and shame and yet determination and perseverance there. She kept silent.

“I’m sorry for leaving you there alone. I wanted to warn you, but part of the agreement was that I didn’t speak to anyone about it. Regardless, I should never have left any of you in such a dangerous situation. I hope… one day you’ll forgive me.” Ye Xiu put his hands in his pocket and strode towards the door.

Chong Xinyi withdrew her camera and shuffled quickly to the left of the door where there was a panel near the baseboards. It was slightly opened, and she opened it fully, grabbed the headphones that hung around her neck and threw them over her ears. From her sleeve, she slipped a screwdriver into her hand from her sleeve (because of course she had one on hand) and began to prod at the screws there half-heartedly while bopping her head to imaginary music. She could hear the door open and footsteps, a pause. She prevented herself from turning to stare at Ye Xiu who likely stood in the hallway staring at her. She had to keep up the disguise.

There was a sigh her microphone just barely picked up, and then footsteps withdrew in the opposite direction from the room followed by frantic ones that indicated Qiu Fei had left the room to follow Ye Xiu to find paramedics.

She waited until they were no longer in the hall before she went over and grabbed the wire her microphone was attached to, hidden against the baseboards of the wall.

She pulled it from underneath the door that was now closed and likely locked. She turned it off and slipped the tiny microphone and camera back into her pocket before walking away as nonchalantly as possible.

She had a career-beginning and career-ending story to write.

~~~~~

On the day the news broke, the Glory Pro Alliance collectively sucked in a breath. 

On the day the news broke, Su Mucheng stared stoically at the sleeping figure of her brother in name and tried not to cry at exactly what she’d discovered and could only desperately hold onto the idea that justice would be served with her continued influence. 

On the day the news broke, Huang Shaotian was silent. 

On the day the news broke, Yu Wenzhou clasped his hands and bowed his head in reflection and regret, a grimace the only expression he could wear. 

On the day the news broke, Wang Jiexi closed his eyes and sent up a silent apology not just to Ye Xiu. 

On the day the news broke, Chu Yunxiu’s eyes widened in shock and she pulled out her phone to rapidly text Mucheng. She wouldn’t get a reply. 

On the day the news broke, Tao Xuan could only knock back a shot of the hardest liquor he could find. 

On the day the news broke, Xiao Shiqin finally felt he understood Ye Xiu’s fear, and nearly choked on nothing when he thought of how close he’d resided to the man. 

On the day the news broke, Zhou Zekai shook with silent tension that was so loud no one dared make a noise. Jiang Botao didn’t need to translate and could only rest his hand on his Captain’s shoulder. 

On the day the news broke, Fang Rui looked around the room and shuddered to imagine what Ye Xiu had been through, silently lamenting his own perilous position near Tang Hao. 

On the day the news broke, Wei Chen shook his head sadly and walked out to smoke cigarettes. A trail of destruction followed him down the street for any unsuspecting magazine stands. 

On the day the news broke, Chen Guo burst into tears. Tang Rou could only contain her fury and comfort her friend by holding her securely. 

On the day the news broke, Qiao Yifan heaved a sigh at all Ye Xiu endured, guiltily feeling relief that he himself hadn’t experienced it to that extent but wishing Ye Xiu hadn’t either. 

On the day the news broke, Liu Hao shuddered at all the memories of possible close calls he himself had had with Cui Li. He was utterly terrified, but instead of dealing with his emotions and thinking rationally, he settled on anger and hatred and continued to blame Ye Xiu for all that had gone wrong in his life. 

On the day the news broke, Sun Xiang looked in the mirror and assessed whether he’d have had the guts to do what Ye Xiu did for all those years for the sake of the game and his teammates. He knew without evidence that Ye Xiu had been protecting him even after he’d stolen his place on the team and the account he’d held for ten years. He knew that Ye Xiu may not like him, but had made sure he wouldn’t be in the same position he’d been in. Sun Xiang knew he was not as strong as he was and probably never would be. 

On the day the news broke, Zhang Xinjie broke his routine to quietly contemplate all the ways in which he’d failed Ye Xiu and Han Wenqing before he sought out their captain, cancelling practice to the utter shock of the other members. He had a hell of a time finding Han Wenqing and when he did, he could only offer silence and his presence as the man processed his emotions while he himself analyzed all possible next steps forward. 

On the day the news broke, Han Wenqing felt a part of him die. He had been heading towards practice when he felt his phone start to vibrate with incessant messages from QQ, but the ones that caught his eye were the one from Zhang Xinjie who cancelled practice, and Su Mucheng, who messaged him “I’m sorry.” 

He immediately googled Ye Xiu. 

What he found horrified him and he stumbled through a door that led to a staircase where he promptly collapsed to his knees, holding the phone with a shaking hand. He scrolled through the articles, the evidence, the pictures (oh god the pictures) and it was all he could do not to throw up or scream. 

All that suffering was happening to Ye Xiu right under Han Wenqing’s nose. The man had backed off from intimacy because of the injuries that would have revealed it all. Because the only touch he knew was that of violence and pain. 

Ye Xiu hadn’t trusted Han Wenqing. If he’d have just told him what was happening, he’d have helped. 

Distantly of course, Han Wenqing was aware of the psyche of someone who was being abused. They were unlikely to tell anyone. And Ye Xiu was clearly worrying about Su Mucheng too. And what about the rest of the team? 

Oh god… a thought suddenly occurred to him. What punishment did Ye Xiu receive just from visiting him? Was Ye Xiu also protecting Han Wenqing? 

All this time? 

Han Wenqing nearly crumpled at the sudden pain of the grief he felt. With halting steps in a desperate attempt to get away, he launched himself up the stairs and to the roof of the building, stumbling through the maintenance door that was weirdly unlocked. 

He fell to the gravel strewn roof, scraping his hands and rocks digging into his knees. 

All this time I didn’t know you were breaking down. How did you not fall to pieces on the floor? It was as if I wasn’t around. How’d you stay so strong for so long? How did you hide it all for so long? 

Like a fallen angel in the dark, it was hard to believe that someone at the summit of Glory could ever fall so far. But when there was no one there to tend his wings or catch him when he could no longer fly. 

Ye Xiu… I won’t let you fall again. You don’t have to be alone anymore. I can be right beside you whether you go to hell and back again and again. 

But he couldn’t help but feel that maybe it was too late. Maybe Ye Xiu really didn’t love him, considering he didn’t trust Han Wenqing enough to confide in him. 

Han Wenqing would hold onto that mindset, letting it poison him just a little. 

Zhang Xinjie found him, windswept hair and tears stains on his cheeks, gazing silently at a city that moved around them as if indifferent to the one Han Wenqing held in his heart. 

Zhang Xinjie placed a hand on Han Wenqing’s shoulder and joined him in silent contemplation. 

At least Han Wenqing had someone to catch him. 

~~~~~

That press conference broke the internet. Never before had people seen someone so blatantly try to murder someone, especially someone high up in a club.

No one cared that Happy missed their press conference at the moment because they needed answers before they could confront Ye Xiu.

So, they went digging.

At first, they found where Ye Xiu was staying and saw that he was in a decrepit storage room as a living space and fought literally at the front desk on occasion. This was less tear-jerking, but the fact that it happened at all was a serious sign that something wasn’t right.

So, they tried to dig further but ended up at a wall without a way to go forward.

That is, until Chong Xinyi released an article with video.

When people heard the conversation, they felt sick. When people saw Ye Xiu’s face, his hopeless eyes, they were sick. Many people cried in outrage. Immediately, netizens began looking for everything on Cui Li and every other manager at Excellent Era. They didn’t find much on anyone in terms of the Club’s records, but some people did find out what happened to Cui Li after the press conference. He was currently being held in the psych ward of a hospital while they assessed him, and he awaited trial.

Trial? Trial for the assault of Qiu Fei? Well, yes, but also no. Because after people found out about where Cui Li was did Chong Xinyi come out with another article that stated a source inside of Excellent Era provided proof that Cui Li had been abusing Ye Xiu for years in the form of videos and photos that were kept private to ensure they could be used in an investigation against Cui Li. However, she provided a somewhat redacted photo of a contract that she confirmed with her own eyes was signed in blood.

The fucking horror was astronomical. Every reporter was in a frenzy trying to get a statement from all of their respective teams while also trying to catch a glimpse of Ye Xiu.

Just what could have been done to this poor man?

When people recovered from their hysteria, they’d begin to contemplate how hard Ye Xiu had to work to be so indomitable in Glory with all these injuries, especially after a summary of injuries acquired was leaked from someone who compiled the results of the video evidence.

Some pros had already come out and made statements. “This is a disgrace.” Said Han Wenqing, his fiery gaze much more strong than usual.

“An unprecedented situation to occur to Ye Xiu that requires immense investigation and renumeration for. All pro players are bitterly disappointed and horrified.” Yu Wenzhou commented, looking rather sad and perturbed, Huang Shaotian uncharacteristically silent next to him.

“Not only has he been treated unfairly in his ‘retirement’ but also in his pursuit of what he loves. Unacceptable in every way.” Wang Jiexi was stern and seemed to be simmering in anger.

“It’s not right!” Zhou Zekai stated, struggling for words and only coming up with this, his expression of anguish as well as the tone of his voice the true indicator to the extent of his feelings.

Indeed, it wasn’t right. The Glory Pro Alliance made a statement saying that they would personally and thoroughly investigate these claims not only in Excellent Era, but in all Clubs. All management was going to be put through a screening process and evaluated by peers. There was no escape; every club had to submit incident reports and regulations were already being drafted to be forced into contracts as protection clauses. The scale of this was nothing to scoff at and people were at least reassured that something was being done, but was this really enough? And there in lied the issue. If this happened at Excellent Era, was it happening elsewhere to other people? Private investigators were immediately set forth all across China to find out. But the man that had endured all of this with no help, where was he now?

Ye Xiu was lying low. He’d fallen asleep after one drink after ensuring Qiu Fei was in good hands with the paramedics before he joined his team and their fans. He slept for nearly two days and when he woke up, shit had hit the fan.

He should have known that the person in the hallway was a reporter. Now, all that he’d been trying to keep quiet about was brought out in the open. Although, he had expected the extent to which Cui Li had collected trophies. Ye Xiu didn’t dare look at them, or he risked losing his mind.

He also heavily scolded Su Mucheng for getting herself involved. And Yang Yinzhi and Qin Fu too. Even if he did hire them…

Ye Xiu was in full defense mode. It was better not to focus on anything other than Glory. If his attention wavered for even a moment, every single injury he’d ever received at the hands of Cui Li would throb and ache and stab at him like he needed more reminders.

He dreamed of all his experiences all the time. Did he ever get a break?

At one point, when he had stepped out for a smoke and was seen by a reporter, they asked him, “why did you never say anything?” He responded, “who would have believed me? I was the pinnacle of Glory and yet I let myself and people I cared about get cornered. What would that have done to peoples view of me? All I ever wanted was to play Glory and in order to do that, I had to endure what I did. I thought it was enough.”

It was splashed all across the internet and Ye Xiu regretted putting it out there.

Instead of lamenting that more though, he threw himself into bettering and readying team Happy for the season to come.

He bought acquired Dancing Rain and Su Mucheng from a remorseful and horrified Tao Xuan. E;d snatched Guan Rongfei for R&D development, Wu Chen was managing the guild, he planned to buy Boundless Sea and upgrade things, he had everything he needed, right?

Except he went to bed everyday terrified he wouldn’t wake up because he’d been found now that his name and face were thrown across every goddamn screen everywhere he looked. His place of work, the internet Café, was common enough knowledge. He spent as much time as possible in the apartment since it wasn’t well-known to house team Happy just for that sense of safety, but he still fell asleep into nightmares reliving his most horrible experiences and wishing he could wake up and bury his face in a strong chest and be surrounded by a scent so familiar that all it ever said to him was safety.

He never felt safe anymore.

~~~~~

Han Wenqing sent Su Mucheng a demand; it wasn’t a question and wasn’t exactly optional. 

“Address.” 

She sent it. 

~~~~~ 

Ye Xiu’s fingers were clacking away on the computer in their shared residence. Mucheng knew who was coming, but the sight of Tyranny’s Captain at the door sure sent Chen Guo into a spiral. 

“You… you… just what are you doing here?” She mumbled very meekly, wishing to have been more assertive but failing. 

Han Wenqing looked Chen Guo up and down before moving his gaze over her shoulder and finding Mucheng’s eyes. She hurried over and grabbed Chen Guo’s shoulder, guiding her gently out of his way so he could step in. 

Wei Chen took one look at who had shown up, decisively stated “fuck that. I’m not getting involved in that shameless bastard’s rivalry. I’m going to the Café.” And made his way to the door. 

With that statement thrown out, everyone who was lingering or even caught wind of what was going on, with the guidance of pointed looks from Su Mucheng, left the apartment leaving Ye Xiu and Han Wenqing alone. 

Ye Xiu had yet to look up from his computer. It wasn’t that he was playing Glory. He was reviewing documents and formulating plans for the team. They’d just bought Boundless Sea, the Qi master from seaside and they needed to find a player. Guang Rongfei had already upgraded the weapon to the new level, so it was up to Ye Xiu to find the player since everyone else had already finished their duties in this area. 

Han Wenqing was having none of it. He didn’t take off his heavy timberland boots that thunked on the floor as he walked and resolutely turned off the screen in front of Ye Xiu. 

Ye Xiu stopped reading and sat back. As much as he didn’t want to have this conversation, he knew it was inevitable. 

“What’s wrong Old Han?” Ye Xiu turned towards Han Wenqing as he stood up, reaching into his pocket to whisk out a cigarette, already knowing he’d need one after, if not during, this confrontation. 

Han Wenqing came up short at the flippant and damn near uncaring way he asked the question. As if the question, it’s reasons behind it, and the answer all didn’t matter to him. 

Cold fury slid up Han Wenqing’s throat. Who it was directed at could be interpreted as one willed. 

He laughed flatly. 

“‘What’s wrong?’ You ask? You have the nerve to say that right now?” 

Ye Xiu stayed silent, his posture tense despite the attempt at carelessness thanks to his cigarette dangling between two fingers and other hand shoved in a pocket. 

“How long?” 

Ye Xiu frowned. “Why does it matter?” 

“HOW LONG!?!” Han Wenqing shouted. 

Ye Xiu flinched. 

Han Wenqing saw this and took a shuddering breath. 

“How long was it going on? How much of what was going on between us, the issues we didn’t talk about, you pulling away, how much was that because of me and how much of that was because of what was happening? How long did I remain so utterly in the dark that I didn’t notice the growing number of scars all over you and didn’t see the light in your eyes die slowly and painfully?” 

Ye Xiu shuffled his feet, rolling the cigarette distractedly on his finger pads, debating the merits of answering versus dodging. 

With a sick little twist of his lips, he let the answer fall from his lips. 

“The day after the season 4 finals.” 

Han Wenqing growled, actually fucking growled, as he was well aware of just how long that was then. Ye Xiu left Excellent Era in the middle of season eight. 3 and a half years. For 3 and a half years he endured endless abuse that was only beginning to be exposed, and it probably only barely scratched the surface. 

Ye Xiu looked to Han Wenqing, expecting the growl to have been one of anger and prepared to try and calm the man down so he didn’t punch a hole in the wall of their newly renovated building, but the expression on Han Wenqing’s face drew him up short. There wasn’t pure anger there; it was unadulterated hurt and intense guilt. 

“All this time..” Han Wenqing whispered it so brokenly, Ye Xiu felt his throat tighten and his chest constrict. 

All this time, Ye Xiu’s love hadn’t lessened. All this time, he held himself at a distance from Han Wenqing to protect him. Seeing the hurt due to Ye Xiu’s emittance, had him faced with the longing he’d been shoving down whenever he even began to think about his boyfriend or anything relating to him. And now all was laid bare before Han Wenqing. 

“I’m sorry.” Han Wenqing beat Ye Xiu to apologizing. Ye Xiu froze, his mouth dry as he tried to work out why Han Wenqing was the one apologizing, as if he couldn’t fathom it. He didn’t realize he’d squeezed his cigarette in his palm, cracking it and letting it disintegrate until Han Wenqing stepped forward cautiously, telegraphing his movements and grabbed Ye Xiu’s hand in his own and pried that poor defenseless cigarette from his fingers where it fell to the floor with a plop. 

Han Wenqing tugged his hand ever so lightly, giving him every opportunity not to comply and to breakaway, but Ye Xiu tipped forward and fell into Han Wenqing’s arms. 

His head rested on his shoulder, chest to chest, Ye Xiu hadn’t realized he was hyperventilating until Han Wenqing’s breath was against his ear, whispering at him to breathe. 

Ye Xiu slammed his eyes shut determinedly, mustering his control and settling his raging heart and tumbling breaths. 

He inhaled the scent that was pure Han Wenqing, reveling in the momentary safety of muscles arms he’d missed while also gagging at the touch he hadn’t expected. 

He couldn’t get used to this. It wasn’t safe. 

Ye Xiu pushed away. 

Han Wenqing stumbled and stared at Ye Xiu who pushed him away, who was rejecting his consolation, his attempt at stating intentions of love and loyalty. His intentions of atoning, of supporting, and everything in between. 

Another broken whisper of “Why?” From Han Wenqing’s throaty voice, fraught with emotion. 

“I can’t.. I can’t do this to you.” 

“Can’t do this to me? Can’t do what?” 

“… be with you.” 

“Can’t, or won’t?” 

Ye Xiu didn’t answer. 

Han Wenqing’s face hardened into the mob boss everyone saw him as. 

“That’s it isn’t it?” He asked, not expecting an answer before forging on. 

“You know, I head that pictures don’t change; just the people inside of them do. But I don’t think you’ve changed at all. See, I have been with you since the beginning, and despite the number of times you told me Glory wasn’t meant to be played alone, you refuse to rely on others. You didn’t rely on me in your most desperate times, and you won’t now, will you? What’s wrong with you? And don’t tell me you’re fine because I know you’re not. I think you believe you are relying on others, but if that was the case, the situation at Excellent Era would have never happened. I’d have thought you’d at least come to me, that I’d proved over the years that you could rely on me no matter what, but I can tell-“ 

Ye Xiu looked like he was about to butt in. 

“No, don’t talk, let me finish please. I’m trying to be honest and you need to be too. I can tell that you never really trusted anyone; certainly not me. And I’m not really sure you ever loved me either.” 

Ye Xiu inhaled sharply but chose to keep a blank face and address each point specifically and one at a time. 

“I trust Mucheng, and I do trust-“

Han Wenqing cut him off. “You’re right, Su Mucheng is the exception to a lot of things, maybe even the idea that you don’t love. It makes me wonder if you were really-“

“DON’T!” Ye Xiu wouldn’t and couldn’t stand to hear Han Wenqing accuse him of not being gay. His outburst certainly shut the man up and Ye Xiu’s anger overcame any true continuation of that line of arguing.

“You can judge my actions all you want, but you do not have any right to dictate who I am and my identity through any assumptions. I can only say that I did what I thought I had to do.” 

Han Wenqing pressed his lips into a thin line, having the decency to look abashed. His anger was growing and additional confrontation may result in undesirable outcomes. He’d come here to help, or at least make sure Ye Xiu was getting help. 

“You’re going to have to deal with these things you deemed unnecessary at some point, for your sake.” 

Ye Xiu shrugged. “Yeah.” It was as convincing as if he’d told someone the sky was crimson red. 

Han Wenqing frowned, peering at Ye Xiu through his eyelashes. “Well… I guess until then, we’re lost.” He threw this down, referring to how their relationship had ended and apparently would stay that way. Ye Xiu had no intention of relying on him, probably not even telling him anything at all. There was nothing he could do, but he just had to have the last word. 

But so did Ye Xiu. 

Han Wenqing opened the door and was about to step out when he turned back to Ye Xiu to have just one more chance to talk things out, but Ye Xiu raised his eyes from the floor, glaring, before a sardonic smile quirked his lips. “Sorry you wasted your money on coming here. I’ll make sure to pay you back for the plane tickets when I have a chance. Don’t let the door hit you on the way out.” 

Ye Xiu spun on his heel and went up to his room to the private computer there to continue his work, leaving an open-mouthed Han Wenqing to stare after him before his face darkened and he slammed the door angrily. 

Ye Xiu flinched and proceeded to smoke a whole pack of cigarettes out his window in order to slam the doors on his mental walls and prevent a breakdown. He had work to do after all. 

All these things unsaid by Ye Xiu were holding him hostage. He had too many secrets and despite the revelation of one half, the other was still shrouded in mystery to most. Maybe no one would ever understand why he did what he did. He hid the hurt. Better to have everyone else think it all a lie. That way, they’d remain out of the crossfire. He’d do anything to keep certain people safe; even leave it all unsaid, for their sake. 

~~~~~ 

Han Wenqing had stomped his way down the street with no destination in mind when he saw them. 

Han Wenqing was wearing his disguise and his demeanor screamed “stay the fuck away from me”, so it wasn’t hard to plow through the throngs of pedestrians to intercept the pair he’d spotted leaving a store with their groceries and chatting amicably. 

In order to not completely catch them off guard, when Han Wenqing got in range of them, he raised his voice and called out their names, just loud enough to not seem unnatural. 

“Yinzhi! Fu-er!”*

Both men stopped in their tracks and turned towards the sound of his voice. Qin Fu’s eyes widened comically while Yan Yinzhi’s narrowed into suspicion. 

“Captain Han, what brings you here?” Yang Yinzhi didn’t even pretend to be overly polite. He was suspicious. He was cautious. He looked Han Wenqing up and down which was seen by said man who paused to consider before coming to a realization. 

“You knew.” It wasn’t a question. They knew he was in a homosexual relationship with his infinite rival. 

Yang Yinzhi shrugged. “I pieced things together after meeting Ye Xiu.” 

Han Wenqing was somehow waiting for their judgement. He looked between the two, waiting, but Yang Yinzhi looked at him with a sad smile. Qin Fu reached out and took Yang Yinzhi’s hand, Qin Fu’s right into Yang Yinzhi’s left. 

Yang Yinzhi had a band on his left ring finger and a look to Qin Fu’s left hand found an identical one. 

Han Wenqing blinked and Qin Fu blushed abashedly. “Why’d you never tell me?” Han Wenqing couldn’t help but ask. 

Yang Yinzhi responded somewhat coldly, “You never asked.” 

Which was to say that they had been friends but clearly not as close as they could have been. It was also Yang Yinzhi firmly placing themselves at Ye Xiu’s back instead of Han Wenqing’s. They would protect Ye Xiu first and foremost. 

Han Wenqing didn’t have much to say to that. Was he upset about it? Yes. Did he begrudge them? No. Was he secretly happy that Ye Xiu had more allies since he seemed to outright refuse Han Wenqing’s presence? Yes. Absolutely yes. 

The anger he’d held in his heart was, as usual, only a front. 

He was sinking into a pit of despair. Ye Xiu had re-established his resistance to their relationship. He outright rejected the possibility of rekindling and basically told him he didn’t love him. Han Wenqing will admit he shouldn’t have said some things and the guilt was already eating him hollow inside; just one more mite beneath the skin, eating him alive. The main one was a constant stream of ‘all this time, he’d been breaking down, and I didn’t know’.

Han Wenqing had no outward response to Yang Yinzhi admitting that they weren’t really friends. He nodded tersely and walked away. He had a plane to catch. 

~~~~~ 

Qin Fu watched Han Wenqing walk away. 

He hadn’t been able to disguise his hurt as well as he’d likely thought he had and both Qin Fu and Yang Yinzhi saw it clear as day on his face, slowly morphing into anger which was much more straightforward to deal with. 

They sighed and began their short walk home, contemplating what to do. They knew they’d need to reconnect with Han Wenqing. It was the least they could do, but Ye Xiu needed protection still. 

Yang Yinzhi couldn’t put his finger on exactly why he believed that, but he felt it in his bones that something was going to emerge from the shadows in the near future. 

~~~~~ 

Ye Xiu was a master at many things. He could play any class in Glory, he could find a solution out of any rough situation when fighting for wild BOSSes, but most importantly, he was a master of dissociation. If it wasn’t happening to him, if he wasn’t present, if it wasn’t real, he could do anything else in the meantime. 

So that’s what he did. After Han Wenqing left and Ye Xiu dried his eyes and put in eye drops to decrease obviousness that he had been crying, he threw himself entirely at his distracting coping mechanism of smoking and found joy in Glory. 

So, when he saw Fang Rui state that his love had been exhausted, extinguished, used up, dropped on the side of a road and left for dead (in not so many words), he jumped at the opportunity. 

Fang Rui was lamenting. It wasn’t long ago that he’d been treated with respect, but Tang Hao comes along and suddenly he’s the butt of the joke, the one most likely to be left behind, and the one unnecessarily targeted for rude comments. The management was ever polite as they actually valued him and knew he’d succeed elsewhere, but it was also because they wanted him to leave. And with all the scrutiny on club managements after Excellent Era… well, it figured they’d be nice. But apparently Tang Hao didn’t get the memo. He truly found every opportunity to be insulting to Fang Rui, who was only thankful the rest of the team didn’t join in, even if they didn’t do anything to stop it. 

Was he really worth so little? He was beginning to think so. He put the vent post up on Weibo without really thinking things through and left it so he could mope. 

Even people on Weibo were roasting him. “What’s wrong shameless Fang, has your shamelessness reached too high a level and Wind Howl has to get rid of you?”

It was true that Fang Rui’s style no longer aligned with Wind Howl’s new style. Some people were seriously analyzing things until Huang Shaotian came in and scoffed at the useless chatter.

Most pro players were just sending trash talk, but one sparked a whole different sort of conversation.

“You don’t have a future there. Why not pack up and come to Happy?”

Poster, Ye Xiu.

This was Ye Xiu’s first ever post since the creation of his verified account.

“Woah, who is that?”

“Is that really him?”

“Is that guy really okay? Why’s he still making jokes?”

“That’s actually Mucheng right? Mucheng, I see you!”

“OMG if this comes true will Happy get another All-Star?”

That last post definitely switched the conversation back to serious. All the pros had consulted either Zhang Xinjie, Yu Wenzhou, or Wang Jiexi for advice on how to act around Ye Xiu now. The Ye *Xiu* investigative squad had consulted each other and ultimately all gave out the advice to treat him as normal unless Ye Xiu brought something up himself, or something was very clearly wrong in a moment. Everyone agreed. Ye Xiu was still the same guy he’d always been, and it was up to him who he reached out to.

Ye Xiu was silently grateful for everything. And when Fang Rui saw the offer, he stopped and thought, this guy literally went to the ends of the Earth to protect those he deemed valuable. If he was serious, maybe Fang Rui was also worthy.

When Ye Xiu described all the benefits of coming to Happy, convincing himself in the process, Fang Rui felt he truly could be in for a new place where he belonged.  

~~~~~

Zhang Xinjie found Han Wenqing not in the training room but in the gym. His fists were wrapped tightly in white bandages as he wailed on a punching bag whose chains rattled and creaked with every slam of all the evident rage in every coiled muscle of the captain.

Zhang Xinjie could only wait to be acknowledged, knowing that interfering at this moment would not end well for anyone, as was evidenced by the other members of Club Tyranny avoiding the gym like the plague since Han Wenqing’s return.

Thunk. Thunk. Thunk thunk thunk. Han Wenqing stepped back and stopped the bag from swinging after the rapid succession of punches. In his periphery he saw Zhang Xinjie and had half the mind to send a punch his way despite knowing that the man was not deserving of his ire.

He momentarily ignored him, throwing a few more punches, trying to respond evenly but replying with an unnecessary accusation.

“What is it Xinjie? You been hiding something from me too.”

Zhang Xinjie’s successive blinking had Han Wenqing stopping the bag again and facing his vice captain, heart clenching in anticipated betrayal. He’d been slapped with betrayal after betrayal, so much so that his heart was steeped in it now.

But more so than rage at others it was rage at himself. How could he not have known? How could he not have seen it? How could Ye Q- Ye Xiu, - gosh, wasn’t that just it’s own thing too - keep silent for so long about something so detrimental to himself. What a shit lover Han Wenqing was for having ignored the man, so much so that two body guards from Tyranny noticed and took action long before him. And now his vice captain who told him everything, was hiding something. Han Wenqing might just implode.

“I… suppose I am hiding something.” Zhang Xinjie assessed that remaining silent was not tactically sound.

Han Wenqing waited, the tension ratcheting up, waiting for a knife to cut it.

Zhang Xinjie took a deep breath, collecting his thoughts, before launching into it.

“Yu Wenzhou, Wang Jiexi, and myself had noticed issues with Ye Xiu within Excellent Era. At first we just saw the way his teammates didn’t seem to listen to him, not following the most optimum tactics. After he retired, us three encountered him on separate occasions and found that something was still amiss.”

Han Wenqing’s jaw was clenched so hard, Zhang Xinjie could practically hear his teeth grinding.

Zhang Xinjie pushed on. “We made a group chat and discussed our findings, trying to ascertain the truth, and I’ll be honest, I kept you out of it because I deemed it a possibility that it was you who could have hurt him.”

Han Wenqing’s whole demeanor shifted from anger to recoiling in horror. He searched Zhang Xinjie’s face for any sign that he was lying and could find none. His shoulders slumped in guilt, fists clenching to prevent him from crying.

Was that the image he amounted to in peoples minds? Some mob boss who readily abuses people? Sure he might use his glare to intimidate and yes his hobby is working out and boxing, but he wouldn’t ever hurt anyone. He was all for self-defense, not instigating.

“You knew.” It wasn’t a question and it wasn’t about Ye Xiu being hurt.

Zhang Xinjie’s hard gaze softened marginally with his own flash of guilt at seeing the emotions shift across Han Wenqing’s face, his eyes shuttering in subtle defeat and self-loathing oozing from his pores, dripping down his temple like the bead of sweat there.

“I have had an inkling for a whole that you and Ye Xiu were romantically involved. I didn’t say anything because you didn’t. I know now you wouldn’t hurt him, I had doubted it from the start but didn’t want to discount it entirely. I didn’t want to be careless. I’m sorry for my unwarranted belief in your involvement in Senior Ye’s issues. After I figured this out, I wasn’t sure what was going on and wanted proof. We never really got any, and so our investigations were overall quite pointless, but it was something I continued to hide as I didn’t know how to bring it up to you.”

There was an apology there, Han Wenqing heard it and accepted it, too weary to do anything but nod.

Zhang Xinjie observed his captain. This brash man who never stopped moving forward was being beaten down by his own guilt at his short-comings. If Zhang Xinjie knew anything, it was that it took a lot of effort to overcome blind spots, so it was no wonder that Ye Xiu’s condition fell into that category. It was also made 100 times more difficult when it was Ye Xiu, king of deception, who was controlling the blind spot. It was exactly as if he was performing Vanishing steps on Han Wenqing. While Zhang Xinjie didn’t approve, he understood the reasoning behind it for the most part.

Zhang Xinjie softened his tone. “The club wants to make a statement about the situation. The reporters won’t wait long and they definitely want your opinion. Will you be able to do it?”

Han Wenqing nodded, turning away to tap his fist against the bag.

Zhang Xinjie waited. There was no more aggressive punches, just resignation. Something happened. Xinjie knew Han Wenqing had gone to Hangzhou to confront Ye Xiu, but it clearly hadn’t gone well.

“Wenqing… what happened?”

Han Wenqing stopped the bag and stared at it. He reached to unwrap his hands, coiling the bandages around and around like a mantra, trying to find stability in the repetition like a training drill.

“I fucked up.”

No response.

Han Wenqing finished unwrapping and crushed the bandages in his palms before looking over at his vice-captain, a tear pent up from sheer frustration and hurt and guilt and everything left unsaid finally slipped from his eye and down his cheek. The very action had Zhang Xinjie’s heart palpitating unsteadily, shocked by the display of emotion from the man before him.

“I went there with the intention of talking to him, understanding him, being there for him, but it just turned into an argument, with no progress made. I went to finally try and express my hurt and my l-love, and now I don’t think anything will ever be the same again. I said things I shouldn’t have; said things I didn’t mean. I don’t know if he loves me anymore or if he ever really did.”

It was disjointed and sounded maybe a little pathetic but if it wasn’t the gods honest truth. Han Wenqing would admit that if he had to, he’d get down on his knees and beg a god to go back in time and change things without hesitation if he could. He wouldn’t have made the mistakes that he did; he’d choose differently and see differently just so Ye Xiu wouldn’t be afraid of the ghosts that haunted him and the memories that probably still threatened him like weapons.

Now that he knew, he wished it wouldn’t have happened, despair the only remnant of what once was and what could have been.

Zhang Xinjie swallowed the lump in his throat as he looked at the wreaked expression on the man before him, tears glistening as they fell unaware onto the floor.

He stepped forward and placed a hand on Han Wenqing’s shoulder. “It may be hard for him to accept that he needs help, and even if he does, he may not know how to go about getting it. Has he really felt welcomed anywhere? Especially with us. Tyranny is his rival, maybe it’s time we show him that even though we’re rivals, we’re also his friends, and some of us could be more.” He pointedly stared at Han Wenqing.

“I didn’t even ask him if he was okay. Didn’t even try to know just what he’d gone through.”

“He likely wasn’t ready to speak of it whether you’d asked or not.”

“Then how do we know when he is?”

“Only he can know that. It’s up to us to show him that the invitation is open, it’s his choice to accept it. Actions are more important than words.”

Han Wenqing wiped his eyes and schooled his features. “What do we do?”

Zhang Xinjie smiled. This was the attitude he knew from his Captain.

They had work to do.

~~~~~

No one should have to try so hard just to be loved, but no one should have to try so little just to be hated.

~~~~~

Chapter Text

~~~~~

I feel ashamed with abandon in my heart and on my face. I suffered the blame; I would show to you this way but I’m too late. When the sorrow it breaks them, I will replace them for you.

~~~~~

They were one with the shadows. They were everywhere and nowhere. They infiltrated the hospital with ease.

When an opening for a nurse position on a psych ward “mysteriously” opened up, of course they took the opportunity to apply and with their stellar resume, were accepted.

It was what their client wanted them to accomplish. Therefore, it was done.

They gained the other nurses trust while their client sorted out things legally behind the scenes. When everything was said and done on that end, their client gave them the order.

They slipped into the room where Cui Li was strapped down and inserted a needle into the banana bag that hung on a pole and connected to his arm.

The first thing the concoction did was paralyze Cui Li.

The second thing it did was cause intense unbearable pain. The fear in his eyes was so profound, the pain so extreme his eyes rolled back into his head and tears leaked from his eyes and his muscles sometimes managed to twitch through the paralytic. It was like suddenly, he was afraid of the pain that he was so used to causing. He was afraid and in such intense suffering that he may have had a change of heart if he was ever given the chance.

He wouldn’t be given the chance.  

Cui Li was contracted to die. It was the will of the client. They would deliver whatever they were hired for.

Cui Li could only look upwards in terror as he felt his life slipping from his fingers. He didn’t need to hear any words to know that this was the punishment for all that he’d done in his life. He knew nothing but fear and somehow knew that he deserved more suffering. He regretted, but regret was shallow and worthless.

Cui Li’s control was ripped entirely from him.

It was a meek punishment at best.  

After a suitable time in agony, they injected one last needle that ultimately killed Cui Li.

They left no trace of their presence, and their employment was conveniently removed from the system.

They returned to a desolate apartment and awaited further assignment.

~~~~~

When All-stars rolled around again, it was to Ye Xiu’s detriment that it was hosted by Tyranny. He’d wanted to avoid Han Wenqing as much as possible and now he had to spend additional days in the city and the stadium of his “rival”? Ye Xiu could only cry internally at his bad luck.

He was nervous to interact with the pros at first, but Wei Chen and the rest of his team hadn’t been treating him any differently, and neither too did any of the other pros. They still saw him as a formidable opponent worthy of caution and trash talk and he doled it back in turn.

The theme of this All-stars though was memories. Ye Xiu resented that.

In the rookie challenge matches, Ye Xiu was called up for every single one. As much as most people would interpret this as only a call back to when Ye Xiu was challenged all 6 times in a row in the past, it was also meant as a nod towards Ye Xiu. He was still worthy of being considered such a formidable opponent that every rookie wanted to fight him. He couldn’t let things run smoothly for this reason alone! He had two rookies come up together and one he just quit the match directly. (He felt a little guilty for that one).

Then, he hardly paid any attention to whatever event was after because he was too busy overthinking.

He’d been informed that all his legal things that Su Mucheng, Qin Fu, and Yag Yinzhi had collected and set up against Cui Li were suddenly handled. He was very confused by this turn of events. He wished he’d brought a larger sweater to drown himself in, but he was going to be on TV so Mucheng had vetoed that.

The pros all mingled and trash talked as they prepared for the team match selections while people performed interviews. When Han Wenqing was asked who had the most Glory experience, Ye Xiu – to be a menace – claimed it was him. Had Han Wenqing ever participated in the Challenger League? Nope!

And then, the unfathomable occurred. Han Wenqing agreed with him in a public setting!

Let it be known that even when things weren’t strained in their relationship, they were whole-heartedly rivals in front of other people. To agree with him and incur the booing of Tyranny’s fans in Tyranny’s home arena no less! Ye Xiu sweat-dropped.

“What was that?” Ye Xiu asked Han Wenqing as the reporter left and the technical staff organized everything.

“What was what?”

“You agreed with me. We agreed to never agree in public.”

“You’re bringing up an agreement in public right now..” Han Wenqing raised an eyebrow.

“Semi-public only. No one’s watching.”

“There’s a camera on us…” Han Wenqing pointed off to the side where a camera was quite clearly focused on them.

Ye Xiu looked over and nodded. “I suppose there is.”

“Is it because you’re not used to being around cameras that you didn’t notice?”

“On the contrary, it’s simply because I’m not used to attempting to be in front of them. I always know where they are to know how best to avoid them. It’s only my second time in front of such a large audience with cameras actually capturing me. Spare me. I wasn’t as prepared for the sheer number of cameras.

The cameraman who overheard this and broadcast the whole conversation to television quickly pointed it away after a glare from Han Wenqing.

Ye Xiu couldn’t help smiling and he came up short for a second. When was the last time he’d had this much fun? And at All-stars no less. Blasphemy!

It turns out, when you no longer had an abusive asshole from your previous employment breathing down your neck, even with all the memories, it was still more enjoyable.

And that’s when it was announced that Ye Xiu would be playing on the same team as Tyranny’s Han Wenqing and Zhang Xinjie.

Seriously, how hard was it to avoid someone? Wait, hadn’t he just been talking to Han Wenqing? Damnit, thwarted by himself.

Regardless, he didn’t want to try too hard right now so he tried to let himself go in an individual match. He was vetoed on the basis of “this is Tyranny” which he couldn’t entirely argue so was forced to participate in the team match.

“Try not to get too close to me. I’m worried my attacks will find you automatically.” He’d said to Han Wenqing and received booing in reply.

It was a decent match. Fun to watch, he was sure. It wasn’t fun to have a sudden 1v1 versus Huang Shaotian in the middle but eh, he had it coming he supposed. They won with no suspense. The match didn’t even take very long! Early home time? He hoped so. Ye Xiu distantly thought that maybe this entire plot was one cooked up by Zhang Xinjie and Han Wenqing in an attempt to show him how welcomed he was here, but he couldn’t see Han Wenqing doing that sort of thing, especially after the argument they’d had…

And that is exactly when things went to shit.

He may have had fun for a bit, but he and Han Wenqing still weren’t getting along. It wasn’t like he could just forget all that had happened between them. He had used a lot of energy, especially being in such a weirdly positive mood, that he was crashing harder than usual afterwards.

He was careless.

He should have known good things couldn’t last.

People mingled on stage, waiting to see what the programming would do since they’d ended so early.

A person who people vaguely recognized as being in the Alliance meandered on stage from the back. With quick and sure steps, he rushed across the stage, pulled his fist back, and punched Ye Xiu.

Ye Xiu’s extremely good reflexes, (honed from years of abuse and playing Glory), allowed him to raise his arms up in just enough time to block, but he was knocked onto his back from the force. Without missing a beat, the man who’d charged him drew back a foot and aimed a sharp kick at the junction between ribs on his left side, stealing the air from Ye Xiu’s lungs.

People in the audience were gasping and pointing and the pros that noticed looked around until they saw what was happening, a few standing still in shock and fear and a few, namely Han Wenqing, Yu Wenzhou, Wang Jiexi, and Zhang Xinjie surged forward to try and help.

They were still quite far, security guards an equal distance away too. The man wrapped his hands around Ye Xiu’s neck and squeezed hard. Black spots danced in Ye Xiu’s vision as he tried to pry the man’s hand off as he couldn’t breathe, oh god I’m going to die.

Suddenly, air was entering his lungs in great heaving gulps and Ye Xiu squirmed away in hopes of avoiding a repeat performance, dazed and confused.

He was being held face down by a security guard and Han Wenqing. When people went to rewatch the moment, they’d see it as Han Wenqing that pulled the man off Ye Xiu while a security guard pried his hands from Ye Xiu’s neck.

They held the back of his head so that his cheek rested on the ground. Unfortunately, he was looking at Ye Xiu who was now being supported by Wang Jiexi and Yu Wenzhou while Zhang Xinjie called for medics.

The man smiled, teeth slightly bloodied as he locked eyes with Ye Xiu and spoke.

 “You hid for longer than he expected, but he’s got you now. You’re nothing. And you’d do well to remember that. Soon, you’ll know exactly where you belong in life. He’s coming for you. You and whoever you’ve come to love.”

Any light in Ye Xiu’s eyes died at this statement. It was too much. Dear god no. Ye Xiu could only chance a glance at Han Wenqing before resolutely looking away.

Medics showed up and Ye Xiu was walked back stage for privacy where they recommended he go to the hospital, which Mucheng agreed to on his behalf. (where she appeared from, he’ll never know).

The trip to the hospital in the ambulance was spent “reminiscing” on why this even happened in the first place.

~~~~~

What was great about being raised with a twin was that you never had to face any new situation entirely alone. 

The bad part about being raised with a twin was that there was no escaping being compared to one another and the debate of nature versus nurture was highly debated. 

Ye Xiu, the older of the twins, hated being compared on principle. Ye Qiu, the younger one, hated being compared because he always fell short compared to his brother. 

Anyone who met them, even at a young age, said that their looks were where their similarities stopped, giving credence to the whole nurture thing. 

If you wanted evidence of the nurture aspect, you could read their responses to the age-old school question “what do you want to be when you grow up? And why?” 

While most 5–6-year-olds still said they wanted to be this because their mom or dad was that, both Ye twins had no such hang ups and would respond with something akin to “anything that doesn’t involve the family business.” 

Clearly nurture. Poor kids. The parents would blame nature. 

Ye Xiu’s inherent seemingly perpetually sloppy appearance and constant slouch? Nature. They couldn’t train it out of him if they tried. And they tried. 

Ye Qiu’s pristine posture and dress? Nature and nurture. 

But as they developed, their differences were starker, the most notable of which Ye Xiu would say was this: 

Ye Xiu is gay, Ye Qiu is not. 

Nature or nurture? 

Ye Xiu had always been set up to be the heir to the Ye family despite his sloppiness and slouching. All he really wanted was to play games. There were already talks of an arranged marriage before he even discovered his sexuality. At first, he fretted over it, hid it, tried to change, but ultimately, he couldn’t change who he was and honestly, why should he? He stopped caring. He didn’t outright say it or anything, but he had no intention of marrying some girl. He just decided he didn’t care. He wanted to run away, but what held him back then was his brother. 

By running away, he dropped all responsibility onto his little brother who had no discernible goals in life and was kind of a bit of a clumsy and naive little idiot. That being said, despite their differences, they were wombmates at one point and they cared about each other more than they cared to admit out loud. He’d just have to see how things played out.

~~~~~

It happened when they were 14 nearing 15.

The twins came home from school to be introduced to an uncle that had been abroad managing parts of the corporation over there who had returned for the first time in some 15 years.

Ye Feng was a resentful man. He loathed his older brother’s success. But his resentment was by far the least awful trait about him.

He was a man of violence through and through. As a child he won his battles through brute force. As a corporate manager he got results through ruthlessness.

If you asked anyone they’d vehemently deny that he liked to cause pain, even though in their hearts they were well aware it was a fact.

Such a fact that it extended into everything he did. He liked to see people hurt. He liked to hurt people. He liked to manipulate and hold power over people. He liked to watch people squirm and know just how helpless they were.

It was all a game to him.

He rather liked games.

It started like this.

Ye Xiu wasn’t supposed to play games, and he was supposed to go to bed on time. He didn’t obey either of these rules and instead snuck out of his room late at night to play video games.

Ye Feng noticed. He noticed a lot of things. When he caught Ye Xiu, he gave him a tight slap across the cheek, stunning the young boy.

He was sent to bed in a stunned gaze and woke up with a barely noticeable red mark.

It escalated from there.

Every time Ye Xiu was alone with Ye Feng, the man would hit him. If Ye Xiu fought back, Ye Feng held him down and threatened his brother and parents to him. He did this to such an extent that he made a deal with Ye Feng.

If you don’t touch anyone else in the family, you can hurt me.

It was a deal made to protect his innocent little brother who was too caught up in trying to surpass Ye Xiu that he didn’t notice the way his older brother suffered day after day.

The deal was sealed with a burn to his left hip.

Each and every day, Ye Xiu endured punches, slaps, kicks, burns, cuts, whiplashes, and more, always more.

It didn’t escalate past violent physical torment.

Or did it?

Because when Ye Feng discovered evidence that gave credence to the possibility that Ye Xiu was gay, that was the day Ye Xiu felt true fear.

Ye Feng came up behind Ye Xiu while he played video games just a few hours before the wicked torment he usually faced each night took place. It was his moment of solace from the responsibilities of being the next heir to the Ye family empire and from the torture.

Ye Feng’s hands rested I’m Ye Xiu’s shoulders, massaging them. Then they ventured down his chest and abdomen, causing Ye Xiu to suck in a confused and terrified breath, waiting for the pain to start as it always did. Ye Xiu’s diet was nearly nonexistent and he attained such little sleep it was a wonder he was still functioning after over a year of being under his uncle’s “tutelage”

Ye Feng smiled as his hands drifted past Ye Xiu’s abdomen, down to the crease of his pelvis, caressing a hand there…

Ye Xiu yelped, standing up so quickly the chair fell backwards as he backed himself against a wall in an attempt to get away from the man who was causing such profound pain.

“You…” Ye Xiu sputtered.

“Are you refusing me?” Ye Feng asked with a dangerous tenor.

Ye Xiu swallowed and nodded. “You can’t..”

Ye Feng smiled. A smug smile that screamed of delight at the predicament.

“Wasn’t one of the clauses that you can’t deny me anything? And if you do, I get to hurt Ye Qiu?”

Ye Xiu’s eyes suddenly widened. He was trembling from what had just happened, mouth dry with fear, but now he froze as horror slid down his spine.

Ye Feng spun on his heel and rushed out of the side room where Ye Xiu played games under the nose of his parents. Ye Xiu hesitated for the briefest of seconds before realizing exactly what hesitation would cost him. He sprinted after his uncle, but when he arrived, it was too late.

Ye Feng had Ye Qiu by the throat. The boy had been half asleep but was suddenly thrust awake by that fierce grip that immediately had his eyes opening to the size of saucers.

He stared into the cold eyes of his uncle and struggled to pull the man’s hands from his neck.

Ye Xiu rushed forward with a shout, prying the fingers of his uncle off his twin brother. Ye Feng released his grip and Ye Qiu gasped for breath.

Behind the uncle, Ye Xiu’s parents emerged in a rush of confusion.

“What’s going on?” Their father asked harshly.

Ye Qiu pointed at Ye Feng. “He… he tried to choke me!”

The parents turned an incredulous look at Ye Qiu. It was clear they didn’t believe it for a second.

Ye Feng spoke. “Qiu-er* must have been dreaming.” He spoke with a concerned tone that was easily accepted.

Ye Xiu knew that if anyone bothered to look, they’d still see the marks around Ye Qiu’s neck, but he glanced at Ye Feng who had a look as if daring Ye Xiu to defend his brother, see what would happen, I dare you.

Their parents left, Ye Feng offering to lead Ye Xiu back to his own bedroom.

Ye Xiu wanted to refuse, wanted to support his brother, tell him he believed him, but he couldn’t. To protect his brother, he followed Ye Feng.

When they made it to Ye Xiu’s room, Ye Feng shut the door. Ye Xiu tensed, expecting punishment, or perhaps a continuation of what came before, but instead, Ye Feng spoke.

“You know how weak your brother is.” Ye Xiu didn’t dane to respond.

“You know he doesn’t want to endure this humiliation. He hasn’t for a long time. I think you know what I mean.”

Indeed, Ye Xiu did. He had seen the way Ye Qiu had been gathering supplies. Some might assume he was cooking up some form of revenge against neglectful parents who continuously compared two twins or against said “superior” twin, but Ye Xiu knew his brother simply wanted to get away. He was working up to running away, and the attack tonight coupled with the fact their parents didn’t believe him might just be enough to push him over the edge.

“What do you propose?” Ye Xiu knew this was leading up to something.

Ye Feng smiled. “You like games. I like them too. I propose this. Instead of Ye Qiu running away, how about you take your stuff and run away? It’s like a giant game of hide and seek. You hide, and I’ll seek you. As long as I don’t catch you, your brother and parents will be spared from anything I planned to do, and you’ll be able to do things you want to do without your parent’s approval, but when I find you, you’re mine forever to do what I please with. How about it? Do you dare accept?”

Ye Xiu swallowed thickly, contemplating exactly what everything entailed. If he was caught early on, he knew he risked his mind and body being used by his uncle. If he was caught late, it was very possible that his evading could infuriate his uncle to such an extent that Ye Xiu could end up dead. And could he even trust this uncle of his to not hurt Ye Qiu? Unfortunately, Ye Xiu knew the answer was yes. Holding power over someone required delivering on your word, so Ye Feng wouldn’t dare go against what he said.

Could he trade his life for his family? Ye Xiu knew they definitely wouldn’t see it as a selfless thing. He’d always alluded to not wanting to take over the company. Him running away would be seen as abandoning his post in the family and his brother.

Ye Xiu had to harden his heart. Despise his heart. It was for Ye Qiu’s sake. Who cares what he thought as long as he was okay in the end.

“I’ll do it.”

Ye Feng smiled that sadistic smile of his, so sharp in its harshness. He rummaged around Ye Xiu’s room for some paper and a pen. In great detail, Ye Feng wrote out exactly what he meant. Ye Xiu let the cold feeling of apathy wash over him and made additions on his behalf for practicality, his wounds still throbbing to the pace of his heartbeat.

When it was done to their satisfaction, Ye Xiu and Ye Feng both signed it in pen, before Ye Feng pulled out a knife from some unknown pocket, maybe even his pants. He stepped forward menacingly and cut down the front of Ye Xiu’s shirt from collar to hem. Over his heart, with a quick and brutal slash from near his armpit and angled towards his sternum, Ye Feng sliced a chunk of flesh out and watched blood cascade down the boy’s chest. He considered to blood on the knife before dipping his thumb on the knife and placing a thumbprint next to his signature. Ye Xui stared in abject horror and complied easily when Ye Feng took his right hand and smeared his thumb in the plumes of blood before rolling it next to his name.

This was the first of Ye Xiu’s three blood contracts.

Ye Feng made a photocopy and gave one copy to Ye Xiu who folded it and slid it into his pocket, absently mopping up blood like he was a maid after Ye Feng told him to clean up the mess he made. Ye Feng smiled a harsh smile, his gaze roving over Ye Xiu lustfully, causing him to shiver in discomfort and disgust until Ye Feng left the room, allowing Ye Xiu to finish cleaning, clumsily bandage himself, and begin preparing

Whatever Ye Feng thought of Ye Xiu’s intelligence, it was clear that he truly didn’t know the boy as well as he thought he did. Ye Xiu had many different aspects to himself, and he channeled his laziness to come up with a plan.

Why pack his own things when Ye Qiu had gone through the trouble to gather everything already? Even if Ye Feng hadn’t made this deal, Ye Xiu already planned on doing something about it. Now was just the perfect excuse that would also protect his family.

Ye Xiu knew that his parents would never accept any other explanation aside from that Ye Xiu was selfish. They knew he wanted to be a pro gamer and knew that career was a short lived one. Ye Qiu would be furious, but he had no other dream; just wanted to run away, be free from any burdens of who’s superior or who’ll take over the business (even though they both loathe to take over).

Ye Xiu considers this. One day, he’ll get caught. He had no doubt of that. Maybe it was best that he left an explanation for some day in the future. One last contingency plan.

Ye Xiu snuck to the photocopier and copied the contract. He went back to his room and wrote a hastily written note explaining the circumstances before prying a baseboard opened and hiding the note there along with his identification card so Ye Qiu would know he wasn’t using his own before chipping the corner of the board, one little imperfection in the perfect room of the perfect house of the perfect heir of the perfect family with perfect parents to indicate his hiding place to his brother that knew that all those descriptions before were straight up lies.

Ye Xiu waited until the next day when his parents and uncle went to work, and Ye Qiu and him were meant to be at school. Ye Xiu stayed most of the day but found a way to get out of class sooner by faking an illness. He got home first, collected Ye Qiu’s stuff, and left the house just moments before Ye Qiu would arrive home, possibly to attempt an escape himself. Ye Xiu had no time to gather anything that he would consider his own.

Ye Xiu and Ye Qiu hadn’t spoken about what happened the night before, Ye Qiu convinced Ye Xiu would believe it was a dream.

Ye Xiu boarded a bus and headed to a random city with the only thought of getting as much of a head start as possible, his only companion the still bleeding wound on his heart that would surely scar and live with him forever. 

~~~~~

The doctor left and Su Mucheng slipped through the door in their wake. To any other passerby, Mucheng’s hair might be considered stylish but Ye Xiu knew her too well by now. He could tell that there was a slight frizziness to her hair and a small clump was wet where she nibbled and sucked on it out of nervousness from a habit she’d developed in childhood and resorted to unconsciously only when extremely stressed. 

She held her phone slightly away from her ear as she walked in and thrust the device at him when she got in range of him in the bed. He took it, knowing better than to argue when she had that specific set to her jaw to brokered no arguments without the promise of unspeakable consequences known as pettiness and the silent treatment. 

In reality, he just didn’t have the energy to refuse. 

Ye Xiu put the phone to his ear and spoke a raspy hello. Instantly, the shrieking voice of Ye Qiu could be heard and Ye Xiu hastily mirrored the way Mucheng had held the phone away from her ear while he ranted and raved. Ye Xiu wasn’t really listening. Ye Qiu said “it’s okay” and “just wait” and Ye Xiu’s mind disappeared from reality to drown in his thoughts, imprisoned by his own negativity. 

Stop telling me that it’s okay like it’s going to get better. I’ve heard every damn cliche and yet I’m still stuck in this mess like I have been forever. 

It’s like he’s always been here. Always had the looming threat of grievous bodily harm hovering behind his back. It’s like trying to outrun pouring rain; impossible. It followed everywhere, like his own shadow. Maybe it was hiding in his shadow, he just couldn’t tell the difference anymore. 

Everything he’d done to try and continue on felt for naught. He wanted to yell at his own determination to just shut the hell up, because there’s no light at the end of the tunnel. He’d been deluding himself that there was and anytime he believed the words that things would get better it brought nothing but trouble. 

He knew he was losing himself in the spiral of awful thinking, and he hated to sound so cynical, but somewhere deep inside he just wanted to stop chasing “miracles”. They didn’t exist. He’d been trying to create them all this time and he’d done it in the challenger league but how many more could he truly create? Champions? Really? 

Was this fall really worth the climb? He didn’t know. He convinced his team it was, but how much longer could he believe it while still reeling from phantom aches and pains and hopelessness that didn’t seem to leave. 

He was so sick of waiting on the sun; the silver lining that just never seemed to come. It was always another thing that unsettled the balance he strived for. He was so sick of feeling not enough, like everything he did was worthless just like he was. And honestly, maybe the hope of rising again was hurting him more than giving up ever would? Maybe… maybe it was time to give up? 

Out of the corner of his eye, past where Mucheng leaned against the wall, watching him with a concerned furrow to her brow, at the door the closed off the rest of the world from this tiny room, at the window, just a glimpse, Ye Xiu saw Han Wenqing peek through the glass. 

Ye Xiu’s throat went dry but not out of fear like it usually did when he saw someone, but out of longing and desperation. His tongue felt too large and sat too heavy in his mouth so he couldn’t get the words out, but if he could, he’d want to open the door and drag Han Wenqing inside the room and beg him. Beg Han Wenqing to give him a reason Ye Xiu should even be alive, to help Ye Xiu believe that tomorrow was even worth the fight, because if he was being totally honest with himself, every second of everyday, he was terrified he wouldn’t make it to the next day and was completely unable to change his own mind. Please come change my mind, my glass is always half empty, please come change my mind, he wanted to beg Han Wenqing. 

Han Wenqing had backed off after peeking but peeked again and met Ye Xiu’s eyes. The man had a look of quiet terror and pleading and Han Wenqing felt himself falter. Was he trying to get me to leave? He thought. Or was he pleading for me to stay? 

Mucheng saw the look, knew who must be there, confirmed it with a quick glance and made the move for her big brother. 

She stepped forward and took the phone where Ye Qiu had begun to trail off into nonsense. “Ye Xiu needs to rest now.” She said decisively and Ye Qiu readily apologized and agreed, while muttering about Ye Xiu staying safe, the unfilial brother of his, before saying goodbye. She tucked her cellphone into her pocket and strode to the door, pulling it opened and grabbing Captain Han’s sleeve and yanking him inside the room, stumbling from the force. 

“I’m hungry.” She declared. “I’m going to find Chu Yunxiu and we’re going to get food and I’m going to gossip with her. Captain Han, please take Ye Xiu back to his hotel room. He’s being discharged when the doctor returns.” 

Su Mucheng waved perkily at the dumbstruck men and skipped from the room a little too cheerily for the situation to follow through on her promise. It wasn’t so much a happy occasion though; she was definitely going to get ice cream and then go to Chu Yunxiu and cry. 

The two definitely missed that fact, too focused and on the sudden forced closeness of the situation that tricky Mucheng pulled them into. 

Han Wenqing cleared his throat. “Ahem. I uh.. was told to come check on you by our teams management.” He lied easily. “They wanted to make sure you weren’t going to sue us…” 

Ye Xiu swallowed his too thick tongue, his throat still sandpaper-like not just from where he was bruised from being strangled but also from proximity. His voice came out raspy and uncomfortable. 

“I’m not suing. I know he wasn’t hired by Tyranny. He was from the Alliance.” Even that many words had his voice struggling to get out and scratching at him with pain. Han Wenqing nodded, trying to stave Ye Xiu from having to say more. 

Han Wenqing opened his mouth to say, well, he didn’t really know what. The words got stuck in his throat at choked him silently, the silence palpable and uncomfortable, broken by a knock at the door followed by it opening. 

A nurse came in with discharge papers and care instructions and a prescription and Ye Xiu nodded along to their chatter. He signed what needed to be before he soundlessly got off the bed and looked at Han Wenqing expectantly. The nurse had been avoiding looking at Tyranny’s Captain after an initial glance, his perpetual scowl much more pronounced than usual. Han Wenqing wordlessly led Ye Xiu from the room and to the elevator that lowered them into the parking garage where a tinted windowed car sat conspicuously. A driver Ye Xiu recognized from Tyranny that Han Wenqing nodded at held the doors opened and they slid into the back together, spaced apart by the middle seat and each occupying a window with a shoulder belt. 

Han Wenqing mumbled the address of a hotel, and Ye Xiu belatedly realizing it wasn’t the one where the rest of the team was staying originally. 

“Tyranny booked a new hotel for you and your team discreetly to avoid…” he trailed off, certainly referencing the man who’d attacked him, clearly trying to show that they took his security seriously. 

Ye Xiu blocked out the dark thoughts of “just let them find me” and offered a nod to Han Wenqing’s side glance for confirmation of a job well done. 

They arrived at the back entrance where Yang Yinzhi opened the back door and ushered them both inside with a relieved glance to Ye Xiu and a hard wary glance at Han Wenqing. Before Han Wenqing could tick his eyebrow up in annoyance, Qin Fu caught their attention near the elevator with a clearing of his throat. He gestured to where he held the doors open and Han Wenqing and Ye Xiu entered. 

Ye Xiu didn’t pay attention to what floor they emerged on, simply listlessly followed Han Wenqing who seemed to know exactly what room they were supposed to go to. This theory was confirmed when he approached one of the doors simply numbered 520 and whipped out a keycard and slid it across the sensor that beeped. He pushed the door opened and looked both ways down the hallway to make sure no one saw them as Ye Xiu moved on autopilot inside of the room where his tiny bag of belongings sat on one of the queen sized beds. 

Ye Xiu sat toed off his shoes and they fell crookedly at the edge of the doorway. With slumping steps, he fumbled his way forward, swatting his bag onto the floor and plunking himself on the edge of the bed. 

He stared down at his feet blankly, not really seeing anything. The ring of bruises on his neck pulsed and throbbed to the beat of his heart that he didn’t seem to associate as his own. Han Wenqing shut the door but made no move to come further into the room. He stood by the door, eyebrows furrowed in question but stoically silent. 

He didn’t want a repeat of the argument after the challenger league. Contrary to his supposed temper, Han Wenqing was able to learn from his mistakes. He wouldn’t be Captain if he couldn’t, and he’d learned that he couldn’t approach Ye Xiu aggressively or angrily. Zhang Xinjie had correctly guessed that most of his anger (at least directed at this situation) was disguising something else. 

Right now, he was scared. It was difficult to admit it to himself but he was terrified by what he’d seen happen to Ye Xiu. To believe himself in control of All Stars and yet for something so awful to happen to the man he was trying to win back… it was demoralizing. 

But he was hurt too because even after all that had happened, all that had been revealed, Ye Xiu still had more to hide, more that he wasn’t telling people, more that had happened to him and that was very clearly abuse. 

But he stayed quiet, did the opposite of what he’d done before. But when the silence stretched on, he knew he’d have to speak. He willed himself to do so gently, softly, calmly, in contrast to everything he knew. 

“Ye Xiu.” 

Ye Xiu didn’t react. 

“Ye Xiu… who else hurt you? Who sent that person?” 

Ye Xiu flinched minutely at the questions, a frown creasing his brows and dragging the corners of his chapped lips down, but he remained stoically silent. 

Han Wenqing waited, but when it was obvious he would receive no answer, he swallowed everything else he wanted to say. He clearly wasn’t welcome, and it would be less detrimental to whatever fragile relationship they had remaining if he remained. 

Han Wenqing closed his eyes momentarily before resolutely turning and reaching for the door handle, intending to leave this place where he clearly wasn’t wanted, but his endeavors of leaving were cut off by a word that cut straight through his supposedly well-constructed defenses.

“Wenqing..”

Han Wenqing paused. For the longest time, whenever Ye Xiu was teasing him he’d called him Old Han, and when they were having casual conversation he was Han Wenqing, but when he was just ‘Wenqing’ he knew it was serious.

Han Wenqing could no more ignore that serious plea than he could ever ignore anything Ye Xiu asked of him aside from throwing a match, and he turned to face Ye Xiu. Said man had one hand wrapped carefully around his midsection while the other clenched and unclenched at his side while Ye Xiu stared steadfastly at the floor.

Han Wenqing waited, knowing that if Ye Xiu couldn’t look him in the eye, something was terribly wrong, and any idea he’d had to storm out of the room was long since thrown away.

“Please stay.” Ye Xiu whispered, maybe even closing his eyes in embarrassment at the absolute desperation that laced his words.

Han Wenqing blinked but toed his shoes off without a second’s waste. He carefully walked towards Ye Xiu who continued to not look at him until Han Wenqing was within reaching distance. This seemed to snap Ye Xiu out of his thoughts causing him to throw himself down into the bed under the covers, facing the wall. Han Wenqing watched silently before approaching and then carefully, as slowly as possible so not to startle the deer, he lifted the covers and slipped between the sheets. Gently, he wrapped his hands around Ye Xiu’s midsection and pulled lightly towards himself until Ye Xiu was flush against him.

Han Wenqing plastered his chest against the seemingly delicate back that was left exposed to him, albeit hunched like it was awaiting a blow. Han Wenqing’s lips found Ye Xiu’s nape, and in a moment of in-attentiveness to their current standing, he placed a sweet and imploring kiss there.

Ye Xiu seemed to freeze what little motion he’d been doing breathing and Han Wenqing held his breath as he realized his mistake. It wasn’t that it would leave a mark or anything, but this was something he’d always do when they spooned while still an item and it had become a statement of unspoken love and trust between them.

Han Wenqing instinctively loosened his grip around Ye Xiu’s waist, and in a flash of dexterity that Han Wenqing had only really seen in Ye Xiu’s hands when playing glory, Ye Xiu flipped himself over so that their chests were touching and he buried his head under Han Wenqing’s chin.

Han Wenqing stared down at the head of hair that was facing him and resumed the place of his arms around the man’s waist. Even as he did this, he could feel the way Ye Xiu trembled, and it wasn’t until the tiny sniffle that Han Wenqing realized Ye Xiu was crying. To further indicate this, Han Wenqing felt a drop of water drip onto his collarbone.

In another moment of weakness, or perhaps an immense desire to comfort and to take the pain away, Han Wenqing placed a kiss on the head of hair his mouth could reach. He let his lips sit against Ye Xiu’s skull in a possibly futile attempt to portray just how much he actually loved Ye Xiu and prayed that the man actually understood and reciprocated. Ye Xiu had broken them up, but that didn’t mean Han Wenqing would give up.. he just didn’t want to place himself where he wasn’t wanted.

While he contemplated such things though, before he even had the chance to even contemplate saying such things, Ye Xiu’s breath evened out and he was asleep, face smacked against Han Wenqing’s shirt and chest.

Han Wenqing smiled sadly, already knowing he’d missed his chance, and closed his eyes to bask in the feeling of having the one man he loved more than anything else in the world in his arms once again.

~~~~~

Dead flowers for the torn apart laid at the grave to heal a broken heart. Let it rain until it floods. Let the sun breathe life once more. Reborn.

~~~~~

Chapter Text

~~~~~

This could be our time – don’t want this chance to end. Why should we say goodbye? Just let the love we have burn again.

~~~~~

Han Wenqing opened his eyes and squinted in the darkness. Before him was a head of hair that tickled his nose while the rest of this person was nuzzled safely against Han Wenqing’s chest.

He stared down at Ye Xiu, the man’s face looking just this side of tensed as if he’d been having a bad dream, face still stained with tears.

Han Wenqing could feel the slight crusting of salt where the tears had soaked into his shirt. He looked at dusty lips that formed a considerable pout and longed to tilt Ye Xiu’s head back just ever so slightly to capture those lips with his own. To pour every ounce of love he had into the gesture. To show that he regretted so many of his actions as they had perpetuated the trauma this lovely man had endured. To demonstrate remorse and promise to do better, to support however he could, and keep that mouth from crying out in the silent sobs he’d felt against him a few hours ago at most.  

When was the first time he’d started to feel that?

At first, when him and Ye Xiu would duel online, Han Wenqing wanted to shut his mouth because of all the trash talk he spewed like a religion.

When they met for the first time at a match in the first season of the alliance, he wanted to win to wipe that overconfident smirk from his lips.

When Tyranny didn’t make it to playoffs in season 1, Han Wenqing sat in the audience and stared at the player booth, wondering if Ye Xiu smiled after he won.

When he found Ye Xiu backstage, tears staining his cheeks, he wondered what made him lose his smile. Would it ever come back? He congratulated him, but the smile didn’t fully reach his eyes. Ye Xiu was whisked away not long after.

From then on, Han Wenqing found himself wanting to press his lips to Ye Xiu’s just to conceal the frown that seemed to sit there. Other times, it was to get that spitfire mouth of his to cease its barrage of insults. He found him in game and had to suppress the urge to shout his name in pleasant exasperation and righteous fury because there was no area or interaction that took place with Ye Xiu that didn’t end in a fight.

At the season 2 finale, Han Wenqing got his kiss. Ye Xiu snuck into the hotel and kissed him in the doorway of his hotel room. The sneaky bastard had evaded security and Han Wenqing couldn’t let the slight go just as much as Ye Xiu couldn’t let the opportunity go to waste. Ye Xiu said it was a consolation prize, but they were dating from then on. Ye Xiu insisted on slowness and Han Wenqing obliged. Those lips were everything he wanted and more, satisfaction second likely only to winning a championship he assumed.

Ye Xiu’s smiles became less strained even if he was infuriating. They never lost their competitiveness, and they became the greatest rivals full of mutual respect and understanding of each other that felt deeper than they knew. Ye Xiu’s smile was a metaphor for so much more in their relationship that was deeper than anything physical but would always remain unspoken; they understood each other so well, they didn’t need words.

Ye Xiu still held something back though. Han Wenqing could see it when Ye Xiu’s practiced arrogance and forced nonchalance cracked.

In his eyes, Han Wenqing could see loss and fear, both of which Ye Xiu refused to discuss.

After Excellent Era’s third championship, they ventured into the territory of sex.

It was new for both, but Han Wenqing let Ye Xiu set the pace. That very night was nothing more than hesitant touches and dirty talk disguised as trash talk. Throughout season 4, they’d gain confidence and experience, culminating the night Tyranny finally won against Excellent Era in the championships.

Han Wenqing offered a kiss as his consolation prize to Ye Xiu, those thin but beautiful lips always turning just a tad darker with each playful nip Han Wenqing gave them.

Ye Xiu didn’t just want the kiss though. He asked for everything.

Han Wenqing gave him everything.

Ye Xiu fell apart under him, and Han Wenqing felt that the smiles Ye Xiu gave were genuine.

Han Wenqing worshipped those lips, dreamt of unraveling the mysteries of the man that embodied everything he’d come to love and feel empty without. He thought he’d finally have Ye Xiu for a lifetime.

That’s when it all fell apart. When that genuine smile never again truly graced those lips. When those eyes, once so bright and full of life, dimmed. When Han Wenqing could do nothing as the man Ye Xiu had built himself up to be became a mask to shroud the torment and endure for the sake of family. And Han Wenqing had no idea and could only remain still and watch as the love of his life slipped through his fingers.

Here and now though, Ye Xiu was rebuilding* himself once again, but who knew there were still more secrets?

*a/n – if anyone cares, the character for Xiu in Ye Xiu’s name means build/repair. I really like this symbolism in this sentence and only noticed it while editing.

“You hid for longer than he expected, but he’s got you now. You’re nothing. And you’d do well to remember that. Soon, you’ll know exactly where you belong in life. He’s coming for you. You and whoever you’ve come to love.”

Just who was Ye Xiu running from? Was this what caused the fear all those years ago until now, even before and after Cui Li?

He took a steadying breath, inhaling deeply. The air was scented with the essence of Ye Xiu. Even after everything, after all the anger he was forcing himself to contain, this scent still calmed him.

Han Wenqing carefully extricated himself from the bed, making sure Ye Xiu didn’t stir. He stared at Ye Xiu and just hoped he could have just a little longer in his presence. He knew there was some revelation soon to come. He wanted to give Ye Xiu space to collect himself and Han Wenqing wanted to take a moment to get ready for it. He didn’t want to force anything, any answers, but the suspense was killing him.

Han Wenqing went to the washroom, brushed his teeth and had a shower, and when he emerged, Ye Xiu was… gone.

A single piece of paper with sloppy handwriting was left on the pillow.

“I’m sorry. It’s not safe. Yet.”

Han Wenqing clenched his teeth and crushed the note with furious abandon and held the word “yet” like a dagger in his heart.

~~~~~

To see him again after all this time immediately made Ye Feng euphoric. All this time, he’d been searching. All this time, he knew that his Brother and his sons were at his mercy and completely unaware. 

He would admit that he was frustrated though. After he discovered exactly who Ye Xiu had been masquerading as, he’d dived deeply into everything available. 

And what he found was astonishing. Under his nose, the entire time, this boy who he gave very little credence to, was excelling. 

But apparently at a cost. 

There was countless evidence of abuse within his club. Ye Feng smiled, but it wasn’t a pleased smile; it was dripping in malicious intent. 

Only I get to hurt him. I was supposed to be the only one who left marks on his body. Only I was supposed to be the one to look at him with a lustful gaze. Only I was allowed to covet and control him. It was MY game! 

Ye Feng had flipped at the discovery of the injuries Ye Xiu had obtained at the hands of Cui Li. His apartment didn’t survive. Tables flipped, chairs overturned, paintings dropped to the floor, mirrors shattered, hair torn out, throat raw from screaming in abhorrence. 

How. Dare. He. 

Immediately, he used his resources to approach someone in the private investigation sector to look into Cui Li. Apparently, he hadn’t done enough to pay a quick investigator, because by the time they came back with information of Cui Li’s whereabouts, the man was dead. 

Ye Feng wasn’t sure who could be responsible. It was too clean, so it had to be a professional. But who had the knowledge and connections to do this?

… it couldn’t be, Ye Xiu’s brother? 

No. Ye Qiu wouldn’t have told the Ye Family Patriarch. He would’ve been too ashamed as the patriarch and his wife hated Ye Xiu for running away. Ye Feng had planned everything so that the Ye family would never have contact with Ye Xiu again. 

Although… he didn’t leave people behind to enforce it. 

He’d keep it on the back burner for now. He had a reunion to plan. 

~~~~~ 

When Ye Feng arrived in Hangzhou, he was trembling in anticipation. 

He easily looked up and found the location of the Internet Cafe Ye Xiu was revealed to reside in, and it’s security was rather pathetic. 

But Ye Xiu wasn’t there. 

Ye Feng could only grit his teeth. He did have to maintain a rather low profile in case someone realized his familial link with Ye Xiu. It might look bad that he be looking for him instead of contacting him directly. 

He knew from experience Ye Xiu didn’t have a phone. He hadn’t just been sitting on his thumbs all these years. 

Now that he was here though, he might as well set a few things up. 

What better way to get revenge than to make the revenge itself into a game too? 

He rented a small apartment within walking distance to the Cafe. Money was not an issue, and the first thing he did was christen it with his musk by reveling in his proximity to Ye Xiu. 

He then rested, coming up with a plan years in the making, adjusting it to his current circumstances.

He could hire another Private Investigator, but where would the fun in that be? He’d spent all this time looking and playing the game up until now, he wasn’t about to throw it all away and place it in someone else’s hands. No no no. He had to be the one who obtained the final victory. The Glory. 

And what better way to do that than by waiting to approach at the most opportune moment. 

If Weibo was anything to go by, Ye Xiu’s new team were aiming for finals in this stupid Pro Alliance or whatever the fuck. 

The most amazing spectacle of defeat would be to confront him at the finals itself, depending on whether they made it that far. 

And Ye Feng believed he would. His nephew was tenacious if nothing else. 

The bastard. 

So then, how to make it memorable? Well, to go out with a bang. 

Ye Feng’s goal had always been to slowly break down Ye Xiu’s will to live. 

The first thing he’d do is publicly make sure everyone knew exactly who had claim to Ye Xiu’s body and entire self. Everything that made up who Ye Xiu was, his tenacity, resilience, cleverness, intelligence, everything. 

Ye Xiu was his magnum opus and the world needed to know. He’d watch as Ye Xiu reveled in his victory before emerging to knock every person away from him. He’d make Ye Xiu bow. Hold him at knife point and have him confess who he belonged to, who made him into the man that he was. He’d drag the man away quickly, knowing that there would be guards nearby. He’d have to flaunt his influence and bribe a number of them in order to delay that for as long as possible. He’d drag him out from under the eyes of everyone and throw him in the trunk and take him to a secondary location that he’d always had in waiting to fully give Ye Xiu his punishment.

He’d shackle him and collar him and degrade him. He’d hurt him, smack him, scratch him, burn him, kick him, and so so so much more he wouldn’t know who he was anymore. He’d break his spirit. And he’d finally have access to the body he’d been lusting after and been suppressing for ten fucking years. Finally, he would be sated. 

Ye Feng’s mouth watered at the very idea of all he had planned. He had to take another “break”.

And then he considered how he wanted to enact his revenge for all the ways Ye Xiu had thwarted him against those Ye Xiu cared about. Revenge against all the people who developed close positive relationships with him. 

There was a growing list. 

Number one on the list was Su Mucheng. 

This bitch. 

Looking into family records, her stupid brother was already dead, so even though Ye Feng knew that he could do nothing, he still made a mental note to have the grave desecrated. 

And Su Mucheng probably loved Ye Xiu. 

No matter. They weren’t allowed to have a relationship anymore. 

What did he want to do to her? Well, he’d have to find her and corner her and take her innocence in every way that every fan of hers most certainly wanted to. He’d start by grabbing her obscenely before a crowd before dragging her away and defiling her in front of Ye Xiu, over and over until she withdrew her loyalty from the boy and pledged it to Ye Feng. Then, as a reward, he’d defile Ye Xiu in front of her. 

He’d keep her strung up and use her as a bargaining chip against Ye Xiu if he ever decided to try and fight back. 

It was always nice to have an audience too. What better than to have a witness?

Then there was his new team. They’d all have to pay. And those other pros that seemed to have a decent relationship with him. He’d deal with them each one at a time. He could even research them. 

He’d find out their worst fears and have them be confronted by them over and over again until they surrendered. Then he’d take them and torture them. 

He’d cut out that one guys tongue and sew that other guts eyelids opened so his eyes were even. He’d mutilate that one guys hands for being so fine and delicate but slow; give them a reason to be handicapped. He’d break that one guys glasses and shove the shards in his eyes and maybe down his throat. That quiet guy would be beaten until he screamed. There were so many options, he was only thinking of the tip of the ice berg. 

And he’d only focus on the big names. 

And he’d have to reward that old team of his. 

Cui Li had no right to touch him, but it was that team without the presence of Cui Li and under the tutelage of Tao Xuan, that Ye Xiu was forced out and exposed to him. He decided they deserved a reward.

They’d get paid for their work, and then he’d show them what situation that helped land Ye Xiu in. They’d be so happy to see Ye Xiu put in his place the way Ye Feng had always intended it. 

Then, the last loose end was that rival of his. 

Ye Feng had done his research. He knew that it was Tao Xuan who was in charge of team Excellent Era, and so was likely the culprit of the ousting. If he’d not let Cui Li touch Ye Xiu, maybe he’d get a better reward but Ye Feng digressed; the outcome was still acceptable even if it made his insides churn to think of all the scars placed on Ye Xiu’s body that weren’t by him. 

Liu Hao was an idiot, but he was hateful and Ye Feng appreciated it. He wasn’t entirely clear how the man contributed but he’d heard something of team sabotage. And then there was Sun Xiang who came and replaced Ye Xiu. He was resentful, and Ye Feng thought he deserved to see retribution for Ye Xiu making him quit the challenger league match. 

Maybe he’d take Sun Xiang under his wing and teach him how to not give up in the future. 

Then there was Han Wenqing. 

By all accounts, the man was terrifying. A true mob boss type of person and even when he seemed calm or amiable, he was a devious person. Someone Ye Feng could tell probably held malice towards Ye Xiu, and the dedication was otherworldly. 10 years? 10 years of antagonism towards Ye Xiu. Defeating him again and again but also suffering defeat to him time and time again. And all this while he’d never physically retaliated? Well, Ye Feng knew he could provide the opportunity. 

He researched Han Wenqing. He found a single mother raising a semi-obedient son, working herself to the bone until her son had started his journey in professional gaming. He found that the woman was working hard labor jobs surrounded by rough men and was a tough person who was able to excel in this environment, sometimes better than the men. 

Her son helped her in a car shop on occasion and he was taught how to fight by the ex-cons that resided there, but he fought rarely even though he tended to run with other delinquent types in the area all while keeping decent grades while saving up to help with emergency expenses and for schooling. He had to grow up fast. 

So, all his life he’d been forbidden from fighting but still leaned towards it? What better punching bag to provide than his ultimate rival after all this time? Ye Feng’s smile was predatory. 

He must reward this man and make him into a protege as well. His dedication to hating Ye Xiu was far too admirable to ignore. 

This must be his first order of business. 

He booked a plane to Qingdao after a quick search of where team Tyranny resided. 

He couldn’t go directly to the club, but he staked it out easily and property records showed that Han Wenqing had a separate apartment that he rented. 

It was actually a decently prestigious place and not something easily broken into. Oh well. Ye Feng just needed to waylay him on the way home. He waited in an alley each day at dawn and dusk until late into the night to try and catch the man, and after a few days of waiting, it paid off. 

The alleyway wasn’t exactly decrepit. It was weathered a dull grey with splatters of mud here and there. There were rocks and gravel strewn and some pieces of garbage that had taken permanent residence. It wasn’t well-lit but wasn’t entirely dark. It was lit on either side where it emerged onto the street with street lamps but the middle was still quite dark. 

At dusk, a man began to walk with heavy strides through the alley. His good was up and his head down slightly, but anyone could tell he was well built and able to defend himself just by how he held himself. If you could see his face, it was scowling, 

Ye Feng had spent a considerable amount of time memorizing the features of all the people he intended to approach so he immediately recognized Han Wenqing from any other person he noticed that passed through the alleyway he was staring out. When Han Wenqing was about 3/4 through, Ye Feng stepped out from where he’d been loitering at the end, effectively blocking the path. 

Han Wenqing immediately stopped, feet instinctively separating into proper balanced stance and body screaming danger as he readied a defense, but Ye Feng put his hands in front of him as if to appear not threatening, like a surrender. (It was just a placating gesture. He wasn’t the type to surrender.) 

“Mr. Han Wenqing. I mean you no harm. I just want to talk.” 

Han Wenqing paused, his brow furrowing. This man didn’t seem like a delinquent intending to rob him, not a fan there for any type of autograph. He seemed too professional, like a businessman. 

“Do you normally talk so seriously with random people in alleyways?” He finally questioned, not letting his guard down. 

“If that it the only place I can realistically get into contact with someone, yes. Would you like to go somewhere else to chat? A restaurant or coffee shop perhaps?” 

Han Wenqing’s skin prickled uncomfortably. He had a bad feeling about this man but couldn’t pinpoint why. 

“No.” Han Wenqing denied him, not intending to involve himself anymore. 

Han Wenqing made to back up, but Ye Feng quickly started to speak. 

“It’s about Ye Xiu.” 

That got Han Wenqing to stop. He looked the man up and down from head to toe, considering him. Assessing him. 

“Oh? Ye Xiu? He lives in Hangzhou. You’re in the wrong city.” The sass was real. 

Ye Feng smirked. This Han Wenqing was truly repressed. 

“Of course I know that. I came to talk to you about him. You’ve been his rival for so long. Don’t you finally want to give him what he deserves?” 

Cold water splashed on Han Wenqing, fear slithering up his spine. He felt sick and finally knew that this man was someone after Ye Xiu. And if he was after Ye Xiu… did that mean they were also after Han Wenqing himself? Did this man know of their relationship? But he’d just said they were rivals. 

“You…”, Han Wenqing cleared his throat, “you think I want to hurt Ye Xiu?” 

“Of course. He’s beaten and humiliated you for years in Glory. Even when you have risen above him, it was only temporary. He’s always rising above. He should be knocked down. You want to knock him down, to put him in his rightful place beneath your boot for all the ways he’s wronged his better. Revenge for all the Glory he stole from your grasp and right under your nose.” 

Han Wenqing was rooted in place by horror at the implications. Who the hell was this guy? 

“Glory is a game. It… it doesn’t have consequences to a real person’s life…” 

To Han Wenqing’s ears, he sounded absolutely shocked. To Ye Feng’s ears, he sounded like he was denying his baser instincts. 

“But games do! They do have consequences to real people! They do!” Ye Feng was ranting, suddenly letting his inner thoughts pour from his mouth without the careful filter he usually used because he thought he’d found someone who could relate. 

“Games do have real consequences on people.  Because of the games you play, you are famous. And so is Ye Xiu. You both have fans and haters and people have opinions on you and they know your face and swarm to see you and admire you. They care about what happens to you. You play and you get a real championship. You play and you lose and you get nothing. But that’s the difference. Some games have actual consequences. For example, the game I played with Ye Xiu. He wouldn’t give me what I wanted, so I turned it into a game of hide and seek. If I find him, I get what I want. If he didn’t agree, I’d take his brother. And now, 10 years after he ran away, I will have him in my grasp once again.” 

Ye Feng had worked himself up so much that he couldn’t help but bend over and laugh in his excitement. As they stood there, the moon shifted and moonlight streaked in to reflect the whites of Ye Feng’s eyes, making him look utterly crazed. Han Wenqing was shaking in rage, disgust, but mostly horror. 

“You’re fucking crazy!” He couldn’t help but shout. 

Ye Feng abruptly stopped laughing, straightening to look at Han Wenqing critically. He didn’t have the expected agitation in his gaze and looked ready to bolt. 

After a few seconds, a slight dread creeped into Ye Feng. 

“You… actually don’t think the way I do, do you?” He asked Han Wenqing, his voice taking on an icy cold note of danger. 

Catching on that this was the end of this man playing nice, Han Wenqing began to back up slowly, not running from someone who was acting predatory. He fished his phone from his pocket where he’d been clenching it progressively harder. 

“I’m calling the police.” 

Ye Feng chuckled. “Go ahead. They know who I am.” 

That implied that the police wouldn’t touch him. Fuck. Just as Han Wenqing was faltering on whether he should risk it and call, Ye Feng lunged at him, hands ahead in an effort to grab Han Wenqing’s clothing. Instinctively, from years of getting into skirmishes and practicing his fighting skills, Han Wenqing danced back, raised his foot and smashed it into Ye Feng’s right knee. The man grunted and stumbled, holding his knee as Han Wenqing had finally had enough and bolted down the alleyway the way he’d come, internally grateful he’d made running a part of his exercise routine. He didn’t stop running until he made it back to Club Tyranny where the security guards let him in easily although in confusion since they’d seen him leave to go to his actual home for the night for once. 

He took the stairs two at a time until he got to his room, unlocked it, and slammed the door. It was a fully furnished little room with bed desk and bathroom with shower. It was equivalent to a hotel room and sometimes Han Wenqing felt that more than other days. He’d needed a break today and wanted to go home where he had his own kitchen to make sad noodles in as he brooded over his failures, drowned in guilt, and resolutely planned for the future. 

That was thwarted indeed. 

In another room in the club was a laundry machine. He could do his laundry there but he didn’t feel able to leave the room just yet. He shrugged himself out of his hoodie and sat down hard in the gaming chair facing the computer quietly humming with Tyranny’s logo spinning on screen as it slept. 

He stared right through it all as he dropped from the adrenaline high he was still slightly coasting on. 

10 years? Ye Xiu had been tormented, followed, for 10 years? Probably more! And just what had he endured before that? Just what had he endured to have to agree to this deal? What was being held against him, looming over his shoulder in the darkness, dragging him down no matter how hard he swam? 

Jesus fucking Christ no wonder Han Wenqing didn’t notice something horrible was happening right under his nose because the guy had been enduring similar hardships all this time. All this time! Not to say that justified anything, but Ye Xiu just really was used to hiding so much. Had he ever truly had someone to lean on entirely? Or had he always had to rely on himself and himself alone? 

Han Wenqing knew in his heart that he’d become that person for Ye Xiu. He’d do his best no matter the struggle, he’d have to move forward. 

He needed a plan. Ye Xiu was in danger and the police likely couldn’t help. Ye Xiu would have tried already. Who did he know that could help? That could protect… 

Bodyguards? 

Han Wenqing fumbled for his phone and quickly scrolled through his contacts until he found the one he was looking for. He pressed call and waited. 

After four and a half rings, the line picked up and a disgruntled sounding man with food in his mouth loudly complained into the phone “Yinzhi, you bastard. You left your phone here. I told you to go back to the restaurant and get a new order of soup without Shiitake. Is that hard? I already said it wasn’t hard to not throw the mushrooms in there in the first place so it shouldn’t be hard to ask for a new one! Why are you calling? We’re the instructions unclear? You should be back by now anyways! If you don’t get back here soon, I’m not putting out tonight.” 

Han Wenqing nearly assumed he’d accidentally dialed Huang Shaotian with the wall of text that was just blasted into his ears, but he knew it was just Qin Fu who was even more talkative when tipsy. 

Han Wenqing was silent before saying very seriously, “I won’t be back in time but even if I was, I wouldn’t want you to put out for me, Qin Fu.” 

Defeating silence on the other end, presumably Qin Fu trying to figure out exactly who he’d given way too much information on and contemplating damage control. 

“Who is this?” Qin Fu’s voice was rather angry, so Han Wenqing didn’t hesitate to tell the truth. 

“Han Wenqing.” 

“And what the fuck do you want? Gonna make us feel guilty for doing the right thing again?” Oh damn, Qin Fu was pissed. 

Before Han Wenqing could reply, there was a commotion on Qin Fu’s end, vague voices, the thump of a door, a squeal, the phone being dropped, and then quiet before a new voice said “Han Wenqing?” 

“Yes.” 

“Why are you calling?” Cold and straight to the point, but necessary, and Han Wenqing appreciated it. 

“I believe Ye Xiu is in danger. A man approached me and wanted me to join him in hurting Ye Xiu. He said he had made it into a game some ten years ago and was going to get revenge. There is no doubt that he’s going to go after Ye Xiu and maybe even anyone close to him. We need more information and a plan.” He included himself resolutely, not allowing room to argue him being left out. 

Yang Yinzhi digested this. “I’ll… look into it. Perhaps Su Mucheng knows more.”

“Okay.” Han Wenqing was about to hang up when Yang Yinzhi spoke again.

“Wait.”

Han Wenqing waited. 

“… Qin Fu shouldn’t have said what he said. He was out of line. He is tipsy, but it shouldn’t be an excuse. And… you have the right to be upset. We hid things from you and we really do consider you a friend. We made choices that we thought were best. I hope that you can forgive us.” 

Han Wenqing mulled this over. “I was never angry at you. I’m eternally grateful you went and protected him when I didn’t.” 

“It’s not your fault. You didn’t know.” 

“It shouldn’t be an excuse. I should have done better.” 

Yang Yinzhi had no response to that. Han Wenqing was being too hard on himself. 

“Talk soon, Yinzhi.”* 

Han Wenqing hung up, but the familiar nickname he used let Yang Yinzhi know that he’d meant what he said about not being angry at them. 

Yang Yinzhi shot off a text to Su Mucheng to ask her if she knew anything about what Han Wenqing had mentioned and started planning to keep Ye Xiu safe in public areas. 

Once that was done, he stepped over the empty bowl of soup Qin Fu had devoured. Yang Yinzhi made his was to the bedroom where Qin Fu had scurried off to after realizing he’d messed up. 

As Yang Yinzhi walked, he began to unbutton his shirt, knowing that Qin Fu would be sobered up after the soup since he had only a small glass of alcohol, and hoping he’d be open to what Yang Yinzhi had in store to atone. 

With a playful smile, a half-naked Yang Yinzhi entered the room. 

~~~~~ 

Su Mucheng stared at the text contemplatively. If it was about 10 years ago, then maybe it had something to do with Muqiu? She didn’t think so, but what if… 

Wait… 

“Ye Xiu has been through a lot. He’s been through more than most and his trust has been betrayed many times...”

Betrayal? Ye Xiu had run away, so something must have happened before. 

She opened up QQ and shot off a message to the only one who could provide some clarity. 

~~~~~ 

Ye Qiu stared at his QQ and Su Mucheng’s message warily, as if it was mocking him. 

Not that she was mocking him, just the world. 

It had been more than 10 years since Ye Xiu had run away and for these 10 years Ye Qiu had kept the true reason a secret. But after finding out about what Ye Xiu had endured at Excellent Era, he finally truly regretted his silence and could only move forward. 

At first, he didn’t know how. He had done all he could after being warned against going to the police (Even though Ye Qiu was certain not ALL the police could be under his thumb). But it would also look bad for the company to air all their dirty laundry to the public. 

He’d compromised and kept it in the family. 

He finally approached his father. 

He told him first of all of Ye Xiu’s achievements, and followed it up with his hardships at the hands of Cui Li. 

His father, for his part, did seem genuinely upset to hear what had happened, but looked ready to deny if Ye Qiu mentioned anything about helping Ye Xiu or revenge. 

But Ye Qiu wasn’t done. 

Ye Qiu pulled out a copy of a contract, fingerprint of crimson blood perfectly recreated in vivid ink, out from where he’d kept it hidden after he’d managed to secure a copy along with the letter Ye Xiu had left him. 

He explained what Ye Xiu had endured. He still didn’t know how long it had been going on. He explained how Uncle Feng had hurt Ye Qiu the night Ye Xiu left. That it was the prelude to this very deal. 

He accused his father of being blinded by familial piety that he’d ignore his own sons’ claims of abuse just to try and pretend that his brother wasn’t psychotic and sick and hurting his own brother’s family. 

Ye Qiu was preparing to state that he was no longer a part of this family and walk away to go live with Ye Xiu or something when his mother burst into the room, clearly having listened to the entire conversation. 

She walked to her husband, grabbed him by the collar, and raised her hand as if to slap him. 

The Ye patriarch braced himself but made no move to stop her. 

She instead stopped herself as she crumpled to her knees and began to sob. 

The Ye patriarch’s stoic face crumbled, and he too felt his eyes tear up. 

He’d failed his family. He truly had. 

When Ye Qiu had come to him, he hadn’t expected to have his world turned upside down. He had always known he was wrong but was too prideful to admit it. Seeing just how much his son had suffered, he knew his pride had always been worthless. 

“It will be taken care of.” The Ye patriarch had said to Ye Qiu, quietly but resolutely. 

Ye Qiu, struck dumb by the scene before him, nodded and nearly left before he stopped. He demanded that he be the one who handled the maneuvering of Ye Feng out of hiding as he already had plans in motion. The Ye Patriarch agreed, again, striking Ye Qiu dumb with confusion as he was prepared for much more of a battle and could only turn on his heel and leave. He sat on his bed and tried to reorient himself in a world where his father had actual emotions. 

Quietly and efficiently, Cui Li was taken care of. All legal loopholes and ramifications conveniently covered up and the news suppressed.

And then, about a month later, Su Mucheng comes asking about the same thing? He’d kept it a secret for so long but once it came out of the woodwork, apparently it was somehow important to everyone. But he didn’t think Ye Xiu wanted Su Mucheng to know. While she was undoubtedly a useful resource, Ye Xiu saw her as a little sister and probably wanted to protect her from this knowledge. He couldn’t tell her but knew that she should be warned at least a little bit.

He stated that he didn’t know much, just that someone who had hurt him who was somehow related to the family was going to come after Ye Xiu and maybe others and that she should warn who she could and take care of herself. He mentioned that he was taking precautions on his end and would keep her posted on the result.

Su Mucheng read the response and knew that he was holding back but appreciated that he was telling her as much as he was as she knew he was going against Ye Xiu’s wishes.

She copied and sent that message to Yang Yinzhi, and to Han Wenqing. 

Han Wenqing needed to know. She knew that Ye Xiu’s and his relationship was strained at best at the moment, but she believed he should know at least the vague details so maybe he could actually help Ye Xiu in the future and help him feel more comfortable to talk. 

It was worth a shot. 

Han Wenqing and Yang Yinzhi, with the information they’d received, began to plan. 

The Ye family Patriarch and Ye Qiu did too.

~~~~~

Throughout the regular season following the All-stars dubbed “Ye Xiu’s reckoning”, whenever there was time, Han Wenqing would seek out Ye Xiu. Ye Xiu never asked him to do this. Ye Xiu was quite confused at first but eventually just accepted things as they came. He didn’t know why Han Wenqing had come when he had told the man in no uncertain terms that it wasn’t safe. Why couldn’t he listen? Why couldn’t he understand? And why wasn’t he pushing for answers??? The Han Wenqing he knew was the one who came to argue with him, always moving forward, forgetting the word “retreat”. And didn’t he have a team to run?

So how come he’d developed such patience suddenly? Tactical advantage? That… seemed likely.

Whatever.

Secretly, Han Wenqing’s presence was like an incessant needle to his heart. After all that had been revealed, Han Wenqing still chose to remain near? After all the betrayal Ye Xiu had done to him like leaving without explanation and pulling away from him for years and years and hiding so many things, he still seemed to be choosing him? No one would do that. Not for him. And he was still keeping secrets! He still wasn’t safe! And yet Han Wenqing was incessantly there. It was unfair, especially when Ye Xiu had so little positive physical contact even now on this team. It wasn’t that they didn’t like him or him them, but they respected his boundaries. And Han Wenqing was respecting them too. Was quiet and courteous and just, different.

It was awkward at first. It was like a gorge of unresolved tension was hanging between them and Ye Xiu had no idea how to bridge the gap; didn’t know if it was his responsibility to try. He wanted to… but there was too much left unsaid between them. He didn’t know how to make Han Wenqing understand.

And then, he didn’t have to.

He couldn’t explain it. It was like just a few weeks before, they were fighting. Then Ye Xiu was breaking down. He was skinned raw and was only scraping by by dedicating himself to Glory in an attempt to win. To prove he was still worth something. He threw himself entirely into training his team to compete.

Was he proving this to those around him or to himself? He didn’t have the answer anymore, but it’s all that he was. He had dried the tears he shed in that hotel room, put his game face on, and went back to work.

And each passing day, he felt more and more lonely. More regret at having left Han Wenqing there. He logically knew that the man wouldn’t let this go. But yet, Han Wenqing didn’t bring it up; he waited for Ye Xiu to crack ever so slightly and spill tiny details of himself and his experiences out into the world and then Han Wenqing was listening, and talking him through them, and witnessing the cracks widen with each word and then Han Wenqing would fill those cracks with words and wisdom and apologies until Ye Xiu was overwhelmed by everything and had to bury himself in Glory again.

He was encouraged to go to therapy, that Han Wenqing wanted to be a part of his support system but knew he was not up to snuff for all that Ye Xiu had endured. And Ye Xiu always tried to change the subject, to brush off his trauma and pain and experiences and take back the little details he’d revealed in the company of someone he had always felt he could trust, but Han Wenqing proved that he was indeed more proficient at tactics than initially believed as he would maneuver them back to talking about the topics Ye Xiu mentioned.

Ye Xiu would mention what day or time a certain wound had occurred. What had caused Cui Li to do it. What instrument he’d used, fists, knife, feet, lighter, etc. Ye Xiu was trying to scare Han Wenqing away again. I’m broken, see? I’m damaged goods. I can’t even tell you half of it. I hurt you too.

Ye Xiu never missed an opportunity to remind Han Wenqing of how he did and would continue to hurt Han Wenqing with his lies and deceit. There was no getting out of this alive, he tried to stress. You don’t even know the half of it; what’s really going on. He didn’t say this, but it was implied.

Han Wenqing simply supported him in his darkest moments with words and gestures that seemed tiny but meant the world to Ye Xiu. Whether in person if he was able or over QQ, rather incessantly. And Ye Xiu didn’t know how he knew what to say. There was always a glint in Han Wenqing’s eye or a tone in his voice or messages that suggested he knew more than he let on, but Ye Xiu didn’t have the heart to ask.

Han Wenqing would smile sadly and bring him a soda and some food and glare at the items until they were consumed. He’d nod and smile when Ye Xiu would concede before turning back to his computer to attempt another serious duel between the two. He’d remind him to eat, ask him how he slept, try and ascertain Ye Xiu’s mood and what could be done to improve it. It was clear that over QQ he was feeling rather helpless most times though.

Ye Xiu would never admit it, but between all that was on his plate as a Captain of a new and still improving team, he needed the breaks and he’d always enjoyed his time with Han Wenqing. Even if they ventured into sensitive territory, he didn’t feel like the world was ending despite the looming threat of his uncle.

It was always so difficult to let that thought go. Because Ye Xiu knew he wasn’t the only target. What if Han Wenqing was drawing a target on his back by being near Ye Xiu? Han Wenqing assured him he’d be prepared. Whatever that meant, Ye Xiu couldn’t truly ponder it much. Ye Xiu simply warned he wasn’t safe again and again, and Han Wenqing made a face like he didn’t care and was resolute in protecting him the same way Ye Xiu had been in protecting those he cared about.

But Ye Xiu didn’t deserve the protection. Not after he left Han Wenqing the first time, and certainly not after leaving that morning after the All-Stars attack.

But Ye Xiu’s focus was all over the place. He couldn’t dedicate as much time to Han Wenqing’s safety because he had 18 million other things on his plate as the team trained and he worried more and more for other people in his life that could be in danger like Su Mucheng and Ye Qiu. At least the former was nearby while he dealt with every other crisis and all the matches that they needed to attend to.

Han Wenqing would come and go. He would show up for small little snippets in person and badger incessantly on QQ. He only really got a response when he came in person, so he tried to do that more. If Ye Xiu wasn’t so sure Han Wenqing was still practicing with his own team to the same tyrannical extent as always, he might accuse him of slacking. But Han Wenqing’s performance never wavered, even as he began to transition into a new play style. Even during their duels.

Then, like a whirlwind out of nowhere, the regular season came to an end and team Happy had done the impossible and made it into the finals to verse Samsara. Han Wenqing had dedicated his time to his own team but continued to reach out to Ye Xiu until Tyranny had lost their attempts at getting into finals. He seemed to be Ye Xiu’s number one supporter even when Ye Xiu only shot back with trash talk. And when the QQ messages were truly futile, Han Wenqing made himself a barnacle to Ye Xiu whenever he could spare time while plans behind the scenes were set in motion.

Unbeknownst to Ye Xiu, Han Wenqing had appointed himself as general protector despite Qin Fu and Yang Yinzhi’s continued presence. He trusted them. They had the same goal and overcame their initial strain when they realized that they were on the same team in protecting Ye Xiu at the finals and that who they were dealing with was much more important than any hard feelings they might have held onto even after their conversation.

Ye Xiu had to keep reminding himself that their relationship was over. That Han Wenqing couldn’t possibly want him back with all the secrets he’d kept and was still keeping because despite opening up to the man he still hadn’t truly detailed who his uncle was and what he’d done.

He was still a fucking liar. Even after all this time.

Han Wenqing could practically feel the self-deprecation radiating off Ye Xiu whenever he had those thoughts and had to assure him that they were okay. Friends at the very least.

While Han Wenqing’s presence wasn’t outright protection, he had other plans set in motion that relied on other people. He knew that despite his angry looks, he was not a fighter and had to protect his hands to continue to stay with Ye Xiu. So, he was using his self-appointed position of chief protector to make waves in other areas.

Namely, with one Ye Qiu.

Han Wenqing had accidentally run into Ye Qiu in Qingdao sometime during the regular season. It was here that he learned the truth behind what exactly Ye Xiu had been running from; how he found out the whole truth without Ye Xiu having told him.

Han Wenqing furrowed his brows as he stared at the back of the head of the man sitting at the booth in his direct line of sight when he turned his head from the front counter. He was slightly obscured, and Han Wenqing couldn’t quite tell for sure, but he knew he’d never forgive himself if he was right but hadn’t checked. If Ye Xiu was really here, then something awful must have happened and there was no way he was not going to check in.

His order wasn’t ready anyways. He had time to kill. That was a good excuse.

He strode over and placed his right hand on the left shoulder as he spoke in a quiet but demanding voice, concealing barely restrained fear. “Ye Xiu, just what are you doing in Qingdao?”

He saw Ye Xiu freeze with chopsticks raised halfway to his mouth, noodles hanging precariously there. Ye Xiu turned his head slightly to the left and Han Wenqing could see the look in his eyes and finally the sense of wrongness clicked into place.

Ye Xiu never had his hair carefully combed and properly styled.

Ye Xiu never wore a suit. 

This simply wasn’t Ye Xiu!

“You’re not Ye Xiu.” He felt the man flinch at the low and intimidating tone of voice he spoke in, suddenly on the offense while Han Wenqing bristled, recalling the attack from before and that crazy man that seemed so incessant on so many awful things. Was this someone pretending to be Ye Xiu?

Not-Ye-Xiu seemed to take a moment to steel himself with a deep breath as he placed his chopsticks down carefully. Han Wenqing readied himself for another potential madman’s ramblings. Maybe it was even the same guy? Is plastic surgery so advanced? (He might’ve been spiraling just a little). 

“Correct. I am not ‘Ye Xiu’. I am Ye Qiu.”

Han Wenqing blinked as he digested those words along with the scarily similar voice. Looking at the man, he realized despite their differences there were eerily many more similarities that were just too real to be anything but just that; real.

“Twins? All this time?” He muttered this to himself.

Ye Qiu smiled, clearly impressed with how quickly he caught on.

“And you are?” Ye Qiu didn’t bother to learn about who his brother interacted with beyond that bastard Cui Li.

“Han Wenqing.”

Oh, he actually knew that name.

He remembered Su Mucheng messaging him recently, telling him about a rivalry that wasn’t really a rivalry. Telling him that there was something more there and that the man who Ye Xiu argued was his enemy was really the opposite.

“You’re my gege’s boyfriend?”

Han Wenqing’s eyes darkened and his mouth turned downwards. He looked angry, like he might just try and attack Ye Qiu, but he seemed to catch himself and then the look in his eyes turned from anger to sadness.

“Ex-boyfriend.”

Ye Qiu smiled ruefully before gesturing to the seat across from him. Han Wenqing hesitatingly obliged.

“It’s much harder getting around nowadays since my face is famous. I’ve had to pretend to be Ye Xiu so many times that I actually had to do some studying on Glory just to answer peoples’ questions. How inconvenient! Really making trouble for me now, shameless older brother!” Ye Qiu stated this like he was talking to himself and Han Wenqing simultaneously. It was weird. This guy was weird. He could see where Ye Xiu got some of it from. It was good to see that it was a trait that they had acquired together and couldn’t be easily faked.

It was slightly endearing.

“You want to know what happened, don’t you?”

Han Wenqing froze. How did he know?

“I can see it. The sadness surrounding you. But it’s not self-pity; it’s mourning, and I think it’s for my elder brother’s sake. He never was good at relying on others. He didn’t rely on me after all.” Ye Xiu had only secretly left an explanation for him.

Han Wenqing remained silent.

“You love him, don’t you?”

Han Wenqing pursed his lips into a thin line before sighing.

“Yes. More than I thought possible. More than I know what to do with. And he’s not one who’s currently open to such feelings.”

“That’s because he doesn’t trust easily.”

“I know that.”

“Do you?”

Han Wenqing stilled and assessed Ye Qiu more carefully.

“Imagine your entire life, you’re told what to do. Imagine, your very self goes against what is deemed acceptable by your family. Imagine when you try and find your own way, your intentions and body are manipulated by someone into forcing you to protect your family to such an extent that you can’t even contact them, only to fall immediately into the grasp of loss and more abuse and manipulation.”

Han Wenqing swallowed.

“Do you know how hard it is to trust then?”

“… No, I guess not.”

Ye Qiu smiled, but it was tinged in sadness.

“I’m going out on a limb here, but I think both you and my older brother just let the years pass you by with every second crawling with no help on either side. You saw him struggling and tried to help, but he didn’t accept it, but he didn’t tell you what was wrong either. Everything became a blur and Ye Xiu probably started thinking everything was bullshit so maybe he was bullshit too. Have you heard the story of Su Muqiu?” Ye Qiu spoke very quickly and changed topics quickly too.

Han Wenqing had actually. Not from Ye Xiu, and he’d only heard it recently, and it was actually from Su Mucheng who had contacted him with some contingencies she was coming up with to protect Ye Xiu. 

He had broken and asked about a few things that had been bothering him such as why Ye Xiu was crying the night he won his first championship and where that Autumn Tree person had gone. She answered truthfully and he offered his condolences when he heard he was her brother. He had held onto these questions for so long, it almost felt too late to have asked at all. The guilt of not hearing this from Ye Xiu was also eating at him, and he suspected more guilt was about to piled on with whatever Ye Qiu was about to tell him.

Ye Qiu had heard it from Mucheng too. They’d been exchanging information after she reached out to him finally. “In a way, I think he blames himself for his death, and so he feels undeserving of any form of love that extends beyond familial obligation. He learns from his mistakes but always takes these lessons to the extreme as he did with Cui Li to protect Su Mucheng. In this way, and in the ways you got to know him through playing Glory with him for years, you know the scope of his inadequacies. You know them better than you might think. He’ll take the fall for everyone else’s faults without anyone acknowledging him. But you did.”

Han Wenqing was not one to listen to such a lengthy rant usually, but he clung on to every word.

“Ye Xiu is surrounded by people yet alone. He has many houses, but no homes. It’s like he can’t find the will to settle because he somehow sees blame in everyone’s eyes and so he gets by listlessly, searching for someone who will let him rest his head. All his efforts have left him hurt, but the only one to truly acknowledge him and everything he’s done and is and still love and care for him is you. He doesn’t deserve the silence of a disconnected life, and neither do you.”

Han Wenqing was a little lost.

“Ye Xiu loves you. He loves you and he doesn’t realize just how much he does, but even when he didn’t and you thought you’d lost him, you continued to pursue him. And you accepted that if you couldn’t have him romantically, you’d take friendship.” Ye Qiu summarized.

“You’re right.” He was referring to the last part, but accidentally agreed that Ye Xiu loved him.

“I am right, so now I’ll ask you, just to what extent will you go for him?”

“To the ends of the Earth. To the pinnacle of Glory.”

Ye Qiu smiled. He had hardly touched any of his remaining food.

“Then, I’m going to tell you exactly what happened, and you are going to help me keep my brother safe, for no other reason than you want to help him.”

Han Wenqing’s determination grew exponentially, feeling at least a little more content with his decision to actively protect Ye Xiu knowing that his family was at least partially concerned with his wellbeing after all these years. He assumed Ye Qiu had always been there, but it appeared as if the parents were just won over recently. He tried not to resent them for it and failed miserably.

As Ye Qiu recounted the finer details of what he knew, specifically from what he himself had experienced the one night at the hands of his uncle, Han Wenqing knew that Ye Qiu’s experience was still light-years away from anything Ye Xiu had endured. But he was thankful for the insight and the trust placed on him and assuaged the guilt by hoping that he’d get the full story in the future, and even if he didn’t, he’d still be there for Ye Xiu.

Ye Xiu had hidden all this from his twin brother of all people. Han Wenqing had no illusions of just how difficult of a nut he would be to crack. And it wasn’t good to be forceful anyways. He just hoped he’d be there to support him if he ever decided to reveal anything.

Ye Qiu was prepared to make some sort of plan, but Han Wenqing instead included Ye Qiu on an already established plan that included Yang Yinzhi, himself, and Qin Fu. Ye Qiu added his own advice and resources and modified the plan and made sure Han Wenqing relayed it to the other parties.

At each of the three final games between Samsara and Happy, Han Wenqing and every other pro who could swing it, arrived at the stadiums. At set intervals, Han Wenqing would get up and scour the stadium looking for Ye Xiu’s uncle, Ye Feng. He finally had a name to the previously unnamed person and Ye Qiu had a picture to put a name to the face. A face to the torture. A face to destroy.

Things had been looking up. Ye Xiu had started confiding in him. He was going stronger and stronger in Glory. Han Wenqing had even glimpsed a few small smiles here and there and found his heart racing and singing in longing when he looked at Ye Xiu before resolutely hiding it.

Everything was coming to a head. Everything would either burn or be reborn.

The final tie-breaker was underway.

~~~~~

It wasn’t until the very last game just before the team match was about to begin that Han Wenqing saw him. He’d been given a photo and had memorized every detail, combining it with what he remembered from the encounter they’d had in the alley.

He followed the man as he was about to walk on stage and roughly grabbed him by his collar while pressing a pager at his waist, summoning Yang Yinzhi and Qin Fu to his location. Ye Qiu has monitoring outside and would enclose the perimeter.

“Just what do you think you’re doing!? Unhand me!” Ye Feng yelled, having clearly not recognized Han Wenqing.

Han Wenqing grabbed the man’s arms and put them behind his back so that he could not get any weapons into his hands and waited until Qin Fu and Yang Yinzhi arrived and patted him down. When they found several knives stashed on his person, Han Wenqing knew right away that he had intended to take Ye Xiu by force; by any means necessary. He was going to make Ye Xiu suffer at his hands in front of a whole stadium of people and then behind closed doors. He didn’t know which thought made him more sick. And the small bottle of lube they’d found stashed in the ankle of his sock? Han Wenqing nearly socked the man right then and there, but he’d been helped by Ye Qiu and so stuck to the plan.

He took out a device that Ye Qiu had given him and pulled the man’s left wrist out while Yang Yinzhi and Qin Fu held him steady, their faces hard in anger. The device looked like an epi-pen and there was a quiet click and a bead of blood appeared on Ye Feng’s wrist as Han Wenqing pulled the device away from the middle of his forearm.

Han Wenqing had no idea what he’d just done, but Ye Feng’s whole demeanor changed from one of superiority and predation to one of shock and fear.

Ye Feng stared at the wrist in horror. He lifted his head to look at Han Wenqing. There was finally recognition there. “You… what have you done?”

“Honestly… I don’t know.”

Ye Feng looked back down at his arm. “You don’t know what that does, do you?”

Han Wenqing swallowed. “I don’t, but I don’t care. Just as you’d do anything to hurt Ye Xiu, I too will do anything to protect him. I made the mistake of not being there for him before. I won’t make the same mistake again.”

Ye Feng’s eyes were developing a desperate and crazed tinge. “Whatever it takes…”

He started to laugh, bending in half. There were people mulling about, but they’d managed to pull Ye Feng into a secluded corner to have the confrontation.

With a strength seemingly beyond him, Ye Feng shook off Qin Fu and Yang Yinzhi. The two went to block him, to fight him, to go to their back up plan of beating the shit out of this guy until he submitted, but Ye Feng’s insane eyes never lifted from where he held his wrist and walked briskly out of an emergency exit.

Yang Yinzhi went to follow, Qin Fu hesitating but stepping up anyways when Han Wenqing stopped them.

He shook his head. He didn’t know how he knew, but he knew it was over. He relayed the happenings to Ye Qiu, locked eyes with the two guards before making his way back to his seat hastily, making it as the match had only just begun.

Han Wenqing breathed easier when he saw Yang Yinzhi and Qin Fu take up their posts near Happy’s bench, his anxiety through the roof at not being the one in the know of what was happening right now.

But it was probably better this way. His focus was best kept on Ye Xiu now.  

In the middle of the match, he received a message from Ye Qiu.

“It’s done. He will never bother gege again.”

Han Wenqing didn’t know what that meant, was honestly a little scared to know, but he smiled regardless, feeling his heart squeeze in continued anxiety and ease at the reassurance of Ye Xiu’s hard-won safety. He watched in awe as Ye Xiu beat 3 opponents in the span of under 7 seconds with 764 actions per minute and damn near fell in love all over again.

~~~~~

They had been summoned. They had been summoned a few times now, but the tracker had been activated. It was time for them to act.

The Ye family Patriarch had made it very clear: do not let this one escape.

They wouldn’t.

They found him huddling under a car, likely in an attempt to return to his apartment. Too slow.

“Ye Feng, you have been judged and found worthy of disposal.”

“P-please wait!” He begged, but they were too good to hesitate. They shot him right between the eyes and his body slumped to the ground.

Too bad they weren’t allowed to make him suffer.

They cleaned up their mess and disappeared as was their job.

~~~~~

When Ye Xiu emerged from the player booth, he was physically, and mentally exhausted. He dragged his pathetic excuse for a body onto the stage to celebrate with his team, but he just couldn’t entirely get into it. He had gotten to his end goal and was about to hoist up the championship he’d fought tooth and nail for, and suddenly he didn’t feel like he’d won anything worthwhile at all.

He knew he had reached the pinnacle once again and was basking in the pride and excitement of winning, but he wasn’t at the same time. He was numb.

He felt the trophy slip from his hands. Drowning in the cheers, awash in the spotlights overhead and bathing in the supposed afterglow of winning, Ye Xiu stood there, silently gazing into the crowd.

Ye Xiu had never felt more despondent.

Yes, he had just won a championship. Yes, his team was there to catch the trophy as it slipped and they held it – him – up, but he was too tired to muster up much care. These weren’t the one person he wanted. He wanted a cigarette too. At least he knew he could have one of those as he knew he couldn’t have the person he wanted. Despite how clingy Han Wenqing had been, it had never been anything more than friendship, and Ye Xiu spent as much time as possible sabotaging even that.

Maybe if he had a cigarette, he’d fully be able to feel the satisfaction of Glory. He felt oddly disconnected from himself and the reality of having won. It was like the conscious part of him had retreated to ensure the mood wouldn’t be ruined by constant ugly anxieties that rose their way to the surface.

Because he knew this was the final stage for him; he probably wouldn’t continue with Glory professionally or recreationally since his uncle was likely lying in wait for him just backstage ready to tear this last good thing from his hands and never let him see the light of day or happiness ever again.

It was time to face the skeletons in his closet; the ghosts of the past come for retribution after all this time.

That part of him that was disconnected with himself was baffled at the lack of sightings of his uncle Ye Feng. The finals were the most pristine opportunity to publicly humiliate Ye Xiu and then take him away. The man’s lack of action almost pissed him off. If you’re going to make a move just fucking do it already.

Ye Xiu was herded off the stage by Team Happy and brought to the post-game press conference. He knew he was tired, and it must have showed as the reporters were remarkably lenient and less feral towards him for once. The adrift part of Ye Xiu scanned the crowd for his uncle but came up empty. He turned and seemed to extricate himself from his body and turned to look and see himself smiling lightly with exhaustion.

Is that… me?

He felt like he was watching himself as if he was another person and all he saw was an actor. Or maybe an impression. Whoever was Ye Xiu right now was doing a Ye Xiu impression that Ye Xiu was jealous of.

Realistically, he knew he was Ye Xiu and he was speaking, but it didn’t feel real. Nothing did.

He’d lost the one real thing he’d had in his life, hadn’t he? Despite the supposed increased closeness as of late, he’d lost Han Wenqing.

All this time, he was right by Ye Xiu’s side, but Ye Xiu had trivialized the importance of Han Wenqing because all he could see were his own issues. He was so lost in the trauma that he hadn’t noticed Han Wenqing being his support system from the very beginning, trying to get him to open up and staying by his side and loving him even when Ye Xiu hadn’t told him a thing.

Ye Xiu should’ve told him everything.

Now, who cared? Certainly Han Wenqing probably wouldn’t. And he still didn’t realize the danger he was in by staying by his side. Ye Xiu should have pushed him away when he’d started hanging out with him during the regular season. Ye Feng was either waiting right outside the venue or already had Han Wenqing and was waiting to use him against Ye Xiu.

And Ye Xiu would comply. Without question he would comply to save Han Wenqing and Su Mucheng and Ye Qiu from anything anywhere close to his fate.

For them, he’d do anything.

The time allotted for the press soon ended and the jubilation of team Happy hadn’t faded. Ye Xiu followed along his teammates and saw them rush towards their small entourage of fans like Sleeping Moon who’d been their supporters for quite awhile. The initial backstabbing notwithstanding any longer.

They seemed to understand that Ye Xiu needed space as Wei Chen began loudly directing them to a private room he’d apparently had booked to get utterly drunk in when they lost but now would serve as their celebration area. Everyone followed, but Tang Rou, Chen Guo, and Su Mucheng, who stopped to look back at him.

Ye Xiu smiled and said “go on” to Tang Rou and Chen Guo who nodded in understanding. He’d intended to also shoo off Mucheng to try and get them all away from him while they still had a chance and he berated himself for his sluggishness as Ye Feng was likely about to jump out at any minute.

But Su Mucheng didn’t leave. She held her phone in her hand and stared at Ye Xiu with such complicated emotions that he didn’t know what to say before she was in front of him, closer than before and holding out her phone before he even had the chance to urge her to leave.

He looked down at her screen and saw his little brother’s QQ profile opened and a message typed as if addressed to Ye Xiu himself despite Ye Xiu not having a phone.

Ye Qiu: “It’s over. You’re safe now.”

Ye Xiu fell to his knees, Mucheng just barely catching him in time. She held his elbow as his breathing heaved and he felt tears prick his eyes and his vision swim as he was thrust back into himself out of utter confusion and terror simultaneously.

It was a lie. He couldn’t be free. They were still in the private backstage area and there were people loitering and watching and there were people coming towards him and oh my god that’s probably Ye Feng and it’s all a lie and Ye Feng has Ye Qiu and Han Wenqing and maybe this isn’t even Mucheng. She’s probably dead right beside Muqiu and… he was spiraling uncontrollably and Mucheng was at a loss of what to do until Han Wenqing strode confidently towards them from some unknown place flanked by Yang Yinzhi. Chu Yunxiu was there too, looking at Mucheng with worried eyes.

Chu Yunxiu pulled Mucheng to her feet and Han Wenqing knelt down in front of Ye Xiu who could scarcely breathe, let alone look at him.

With halting motions, Han Wenqing reached forward and put a hand on Ye Xiu’s shoulder. He flinched violently, and Han Wenqing wanted to take his hand back, regretted it, but knew he needed to do this. He pulled Ye Xiu forward to place his face in the crook of his shoulder and neck and allowed him to breathe in the scent of Han Wenqing and spiral but in a controlled way that would hopefully reduce the likelihood of him passing out from hyperventilation with the added resistance to his breathing.

Chu Yunxiu and Su Mucheng watched in horror, but Yang Yinzhi turned to them. “Ms. Su, I promise we will take care of Ye Xiu. Please rest easy.” Chu Yunxiu was about to argue as Su Mucheng seemed unable to form sentences after witnessing this breakdown, but the emergency exit door opened and Qin Fu stood there, holding open the door where they could see a car idling, presumably waiting to take Ye Xiu out of here immediately.

Chu Yunxiu nodded in understanding and knew she had been tasked with holding Mucheng together. She wouldn’t let them down. She put her arm around Su Mucheng and pulled on their disguises and pulled a listless Mucheng out from backstage and to a private hotel room where they could breakdown and rebuild in peace.

Han Wenqing shrugged off his jacket with the help of Yang Yinzhi who threw it gently over Ye Xiu’s shaking shoulders. It was several sizes too big but obviously wasn’t on properly. At the envelopment of this feeling of warmth and safety, Ye Xiu shuddered and leaned harder into Han Wenqing, unsure what was happening, unsure who he was or where or what or how. He must have seemed as pathetic as he felt because Han Wenqing, with a skill much envied, lifted Ye Xiu up bundled in his jacket, and carried him through the emergency exit door.

He held Ye Xiu against him and Yang Yinzhi took the driver seat that Qin Fu had vacated. Qin Fu sat in the passenger seat. They put the privacy screen up and Ye Xiu was allowed the privacy of the car to continue to breakdown.

Han Wenqing could only hold him, rock him, as Ye Xiu’s whole world fell down around him.

This isn’t real. It isn’t over. It could never be over. Ye Feng is still here.

It felt like forever and never that they arrived at a private and out of the way hotel that was known for their discretion. Han Wenqing lifted Ye Xiu again and carried him up a side entrance and into an elevator that took them up up up and then into a room with only one bed.

Han Wenqing deposited Ye Xiu on the bed and ran to fetch a warm wet cloth to dab at his tear stained face and a soft fluffy blanket to wrap him in and muffle his sobs that had turned nearly into screams that were raw and scratched.

Pathetic Ye Xiu thought to himself meanly between the sobs. 

Tiny pieces of ice were melted on his lips and slid down his tongue and his throat and the rasp of his throat calmed slightly despite the continued tears and noises. His shoes were removed and then Ye Xiu was maneuvered onto his side and Han Wenqing snuggled up against him, holding Ye Xiu against him in a mirror of where they’d been after All-stars, chest to chest with Ye Xiu’s tears pooling on Han Wenqing’s shirt and shoulder.

Ye Xiu heard Han Wenqing whisper in his ear and all he could understand was the word “breathe”. But he didn’t know how to breathe. He couldn’t do it on his own anymore he didn’t think.

He must have said this out loud, or maybe Han Wenqing instinctively knew this because he said “That’s okay. Just follow my breathing.”

And Ye Xiu did his best. In for 3, hold for 2, out for 4. On and on it went, Han Wenqing altering the pattern of his breathing as Ye Xiu adjusted and then sometimes slipped back into panic. Han Wenqing was steady, unyielding in his persistence to get Ye Xiu to find his own breath, never once uncomfortable with the tears that seemed uncharacteristic yet painfully in character for Ye Xiu.

After everything that was done to Ye Xiu and all he had done to Han Wenqing, this man was still there for him.

He didn’t know what to think and couldn’t plan farther than a few seconds in advance which only consisted of where they were in the cycle of breathing together.

“I’m here. I’m not going anywhere.” Han Wenqing assured repeatedly.

Ye Xiu wasn’t sure if he actually believed it, but after a certain point, he was too tired to panic and too tired to not believe it.

With tears still leaking from his eyes, he chose to give himself over to the exhaustion and onvlisvion and cried out for mercy one final time in his mind before he succumbed to sleep on his once lover.

~~~~~

Han Wenqing hardly remembered what he did that whole time but only remembered waking up when Ye Xiu stiffened in his arms before relaxing. It had been maybe a few hours as it was still dark out. Han Wenqing hadn’t remembered closing his eyes, but after the pain he’d just witnessed, be felt he deserved a slight rest before what was all to come next.

Ye Xiu broke the silence.

“What did you do?”

Han Wenqing considered not responding, but he had to.

“I just did what your brother told me to do.”

Ye Xiu laughed wetly, his nose stuffed, and voice wrecked.

“He told you?”

“He did.”

“How much?”

“Not everything. But enough.”

“And you still came back? Still stayed? Why? I’m not worth it.”

“You are. You are worth it and so much more. You deserve that if nothing else.”

Ye Xiu didn’t respond, and Han Wenqing wasn’t sure what to do.

“More than 10 years…” Ye Xiu suddenly said. It was with such regret Han Wenqing felt his tongue curl at the bitterness.

“It’s never too late to take back your life.”

Ye Xiu sniffled.

Belatedly, Han Wenqing realized he’d kind of forced himself into Ye Xiu’s personal space. This certainly wasn’t an ideal situation to have gotten into, but he couldn’t think of any other way to calm Ye Xiu down… maybe he should have taken him to the hospital? He had to ask.

“Is this… okay?”

Ye Xiu hummed in confusion. Han Wenqing was quiet and Ye Xiu considered Han Wenqing’s perspective and smiled self-deprecatingly.

“This is good.”

It was all he could offer. They were quiet, and then Han Wenqing mumbled about a complimentary pair of pajamas for each of them provided by the hotel. They were reluctant to move but Ye Xiu felt every area sweat still clung to him from playing Glory and where tears had plopped down past his neck and onto his collarbones and down his shirt and damn he was in need of a change.

He nodded and Han Wenqing seemed to understand. He raised them both from their position and went in search of the clothes, returning with two sets. He offered to stay in here while Ye Xiu used the washroom to briefly rinse off and clean up. Ye Xiu accepted, looking for some semblance of normalcy.

When he emerged less than 10 minutes later, Han Wenqing had water and a wrapped cookie of some sort in hand. He offered one to Ye Xiu who took it silently. He watched Han Wenqing nibble on one of his own and he almost couldn’t stand the silence anymore and blurted out “I’m Sorry!” to finally get it off his chest.

Han Wenqing paused his chewing to contemplate Ye Xiu. He swallowed the rest of his food and Ye Xiu did too. They considered each other, and Han Wenqing pushed forward first.

“You have nothing to be sorry for. Everything you did was understandable, if not probably a little too selfless. I’m the one who should be sorry for making things about me after everything you’d been through had just been revealed to the public eye. I made things worse at the time and I shouldn’t have.”

Ye Xiu stared at him, entirely gob smacked. “I pushed you away.”

“I know.”

“You should hate me.”

Han Wenqing frowned. “I don’t. I never have and never could.”

“I’m… I’m damaged. Broken. Dirty.”

Han Wenqing approached him slowly, televising his movements to show his intentions as he placed his hands on either side of Ye Xiu’s cheeks as he tilted his head gently upwards to meet Han Wenqing’s eyes that he hadn’t realized he’d been avoiding.

“You are many things, maybe broken, but not dirty, and no less worthy of anything because of what you’ve been through or lost. Your scars tell your story and while I wish it never had happened, I can only be a shoulder to lean on, a crutch to walk on, while you make your way towards a better day, broken pieces and all. And when you’re ready, when you can see yourself the way I do, in a new light, you’ll know that you’re free to do as you please.”

Ye Xiu was too touched to respond, absorbing the words as if they were water and he a sponge and letting them wash over him, reorienting himself in that moment and bathing anew in possibilities. He wanted to start right away, to find the perspective that Han Wenqing saw him from like perhaps he was a statue in Rome, admired for imperfections as uniquely his own artistry, but he was too exhausted after all the excitement, dissociation, crying, and now healing revelations, and Han Wenqing sensed this.

He led Ye Xiu to the bed. He pulled back the covers and searched Ye Xiu’s face for signs of protest. When he found none, Han Wenqing got into bed and Ye Xiu piled on top of him willingly.

Despite the victory, despite all the effort he’d put in and the fact that Han Wenqing was here, Ye Xiu felt utterly hollow. All the flames of his passion had died out and turned to embers after that victory caused such a large flame right after, using up all the remaining fuel. He just had nothing left. He couldn’t stop the tears from coming in again. These tears were ones of frustration and pain, and relief and fear, and so much more. Because even if he was free (and he didn’t want to know what truly happened) he would never be free from the memories.

And so, he could only cry. To try and let these tears fall and smolder the embers into ashes, until he was numb. And once he was numb, he knew it would be time to return, to explain everything to his father and fix the wounds he’d caused, but for a brief moment, he wanted to just be.

Just exist in these arms. Because he had things to fix with his family, and he knew he would fix them, but Ye Xiu truly didn’t believe that he could ever fix what he’d broken between himself and Han Wenqing, despite the aching yearning he felt to have the man back in his life, to turn back time and change every single decision that led him here for the simple fact that he lost Han Wenqing along the way.

He regretted. He regretted what he’d done. He had caused their castle to crumble and he didn’t know how to fix it. But he could try. For now, he was content in the knowledge that he could try once again.

~~~~~

Perhaps a week after Team Happy led by Ye Xiu broke the Glory Pro Alliance, the Captain himself quietly and truly retired for good. In a text-post briefly thanking everyone for the support, he detailed that it was time for him to face a lot of the things that he hadn’t dealt with in his time playing.

Everyone understood and no one begrudged him. They were maybe only slightly peeved at having no news on any type of legal resolution with the Excellent Era and Cui Li situation, but many argued these things were best handled privately.

The first thing he did was return home briefly. He finally hugged Ye Qiu in their own home after so many years. He finally saw his mother and father. The reunion was bittersweet as they finally knew all he’d been through but could offer no consolation.

They had always been too late.

They didn’t tell him the details of how Ye Feng was “taken care of” and Ye Xiu and Ye Qiu unanimously decided they didn’t truly want to know.

It was here where Ye Xiu finally reached out and found himself a therapist. It was slow going and agonizing, but he knew that it would be worth it.

Han Wenqing’s encouragement helped a lot. It seemed that he had already squared away a certain leave of absence from his team to accompany Ye Xiu back home. There was no debate and Han Wenqing carried the weight of many days and nights of struggle on his shoulders, never once complaining or going further than hugs and gentle kisses on occasion that they didn’t talk about.

He put himself forward to support Ye Xiu selflessly, giving his all in helping Ye Xiu heal. He asked for nothing, offered only his unconditional support as a friend.

Ye Xiu was still lost.

A month or so in, and the tension was killing him.

Right now, Ye Xiu was standing at the door, staring at Han Wenqing seated in the garden who was staring at the pond of koi before him in the soft evening light that was quickly fading.

Seeing Han Wenqing here like this now almost feels like the day when they first met backstage, minus the crying on Ye Xiu’s part. They were full of dreams then. In a way, they’d fallen in love and silently vowed they’d never part.

Now, they could only hope that maybe it wasn’t too late for a brand-new start as more than just friends.

Ye Xiu pushed himself off the doorframe and strode into the garden to sit next to Han Wenqing, who stood up to greet him. They both froze, staring at one another in a sort of shocked silence as the palpable feelings held each other in an almost laser beam, an understanding passing back and forth between them mutually.

This could be their time, and neither wanted this chance to end.

Why should they say goodbye? They could let the love they had burn again.

Han Wenqing wanted to open his mouth, to say something, anything, to diffuse the tension. He didn’t know if Ye Xiu was ready. If after such a short time, he would be open to something. He supposed it wasn’t really him who could say whether Ye Xiu was ready or not and should simply follow his lead, but still, he hesitated. He didn’t want to push his luck. He steeled himself, ready to give in and start up a more innocent and less charged discussion when a splash from the koi pond drew their eyes away however briefly, breaking the stalemate.

Ye Xiu sucked in a breath, Han Wenqing’s face bathed in the shimmers of the fading sunlight. Despite his own trepidation, he knew that he wanted this. Ye Xiu stepped forward with determination, Han Wenqing’s head snapping back to him as he moved.

Ye Xiu stepped into Han Wenqing’s personal space, no more than a breadth between them before Han Wenqing brought his hesitating hands up to Ye Xiu’s hips. They were staring into each other’s eyes again, and the light grounding touch that felt entirely careful spurred Ye Xiu on into leaning forward to tenderly place his own lips against Han Wenqing’s with a little tilt to his toes to reach.

Han Wenqing froze, the lightest brush of lips on his, fully aware of his own plummeting sense of calm as a fierce ray of lightning struck down and into his chest, causing his heart to begin to speed up.

Ye Xiu pulled back and looked at him, a slight teasing smile adorning his lips. Han Wenqing couldn’t resist licking his own lips, chasing the taste of Ye Xiu on them.

Ye Xiu’s gaze followed the action.

Han Wenqing cleared his throat, gripping on tightly to his control, refusing to act until he was sure.

“Ye Xiu…”

“Mm.”

At first, he didn’t know what more to say. They were standing chest to chest now, breaths mingling. It was entirely indecent, but the closest they’d been since the final.

They’d talked. Ye Xiu had explained his reasoning and what was going on. It was haltingly, and still with trepidation, but it was something that was entirely helping them both come to terms with their guilt, talking it out together.

But where did they stand? Did these simple talks truly open their relationship up to more? How much more? What was the other really feeling?

Ye Xiu seemed to see the uncertainty in Han Wenqing’s soul and took a page from his rival’s playbook and moved forward, no retreat.

“I know it’s been such a long time, I tried to keep you safe but only hurt you and myself in the process. I know we’re no where near healed, but I can feel we’re getting a little stronger everyday.”

Ye Xiu took a breath. Such sincere words didn’t come easily to him, but he pushed onwards.

“We don’t have to fight it; I recognize the longing in your eyes. It’s the look that I see in the myself too.”

Han Wenqing swallowed. “It hasn’t faded, and it won’t fade for me. I feel… I feel like it won’t ever fade away. And I don’t want to fight it anymore, but I won’t step further than you want me to; ask for more than you can give.”

Han Wenqing slowly brought his lips to Ye Xiu’s, feather-light and so unlike his playstyle if anyone else saw it they’d be baffled. It was so unlike his fierce look, but Ye Xiu knew this was all Han Wenqing. He was rough on the outside, soft on the inside. He was utterly besotted and always had been. Had teased him viciously and then had deep meaningful conversations that Ye Xiu would get whiplash if he too wasn’t the same way. They matched so well, and when their lips connected again and again, Ye Xiu doesn’t know how he hadn’t broken down and told Han Wenqing everything just to feel this way.

A pang of regret, quickly washed away by the deepening of their kiss from closed lips to open mouth kisses with Han Wenqing dipping his tongue out to delve into Ye Xiu’s with a hunger befitting of his persistence.

They had to stop to breathe, Ye Xiu mentally recalling that the house was empty due to his parents attending some sort of celebration, Ye Qiu dragged along begrudgingly.

Han Wenqing had responded immediately to Ye Xiu’s contemplative look and couldn’t help the furrow of his brow as he saw the plans skittering across Ye Xiu’s eyes as a smug smirk grew ever so slightly on those rose-blush lips.

With a low growl, Han Wenqing kissed him again, biting and suck Ye Xiu’s bottom lip between his teeth, and catching Ye Xiu when his knees went weak. Han Wenqing’s hand moved from his hips to his back and then down to squeeze Ye Xiu. It was entirely lewd, but had the intention of scooping the man up and off his feet to wrap them around Han Wenqing’s own hips briefly.

Ye Xiu gasped and pulled his bitten lips away to properly cling to Han Wenqing, arms going around his neck, hands and fingers sinking into his hair and Han Wenqing placed his lips on the next available surface of skin via Ye Xiu’s neck.

Ye Xiu marveled at Han Wenqing’s strength, a touch of trust surging through him at the thought that Han Wenqing was strong enough to hold him up.

Nips to his neck, inevitable in their fate to become hickies, caused Ye Xiu to breathe out Han Wenqing’s name. “Wenqing-“

Han Wenqing breathed Ye Xiu’s name back into his neck, “A-Xiu”, before sucking deeply, feeling Ye Xiu tremble. With the movement, Han Wenqing wouldn’t dare risk continuing to hold him, leaning down to help Ye Xiu settle on his own two feet.

They were both breathing heavily, mussed and flushed and entirely too far gone, pupils blown wide.

Ye Xiu smiled, grabbed Han Wenqing’s hand, and led them inside.

Anyone who belonged in the house for things such as cleaning and cooking were long gone or far enough away in their own corners not to bother Ye Xiu and Han Wenqing in the rather large house. Han Wenqing had been lightly teasing Ye Xiu about it since they’d arrived, but now he couldn’t be more happy about the whole thing if it meant that he could have Ye Xiu here and now.

Ye Xiu led them to a rather decadent guest room that had Han Wenqing raising an eyebrow at Ye Xiu after he’d shut the door.

“No one will know where we are.” Ye Xiu stated with a shrug of his shoulders, and Han Wenqing could see the tactical advantages.

But also the short-comings.

“Supplies?” Han Wenqing muttered as he encroached Ye Xiu’s space cautiously, leaning him against the door to lick the deepening bruises on the man’s neck.

Ye Xiu laughed lightly, rubbing his hands on Han Wenqing’s sides up his back, moving his neck for better access.

“You act as if I didn’t already have this area scouted and set up in advance.”

Han Wenqing smiled, shaking his head fondly before nipping at Ye Xiu’s earlobe in retaliation to his cheekiness, sucking it and nibbling it before releasing it when Ye Xiu huffed out sharply, clearly trying to suppress a moan.

Han Wenqing was careful not to pin him or make him uncomfortable with his overbearing presence. Han Wenqing knew he was muscled and didn’t want Ye Xiu to feel intimidated in the slightest. And Ye Xiu had been gaining weight back, starting to go to the gym (within their house, go figure), and while he was much healthier than he had been, he was by no means able to hold up Han Wenqing, or push him off if they need arose, and so Han Wenqing spent extra effort to try and make sure Ye Xiu didn’t feel trapped or forced, constantly taking seconds to check in with Ye Xiu and on himself.

Ye Xiu’s eyes looked besotted when he realized just how much care Han Wenqing was putting into this and a swell of love grew within his chest and settled in his stomach, radiating outwards and causing him to tear up in an entirely good way.

Ye Xiu laughed, and Han Wenqing looked at him, so adoringly, a smile that made his face look years younger.

Han Wenqing reached for Ye Xiu’s hand and pulled him forward towards the pristinely made bed, fingers laced together, a gentle squeeze being exchanged.

When they reached the bed, Han Wenqing guided Ye Xiu to sit, Ye Xiu silently amused.

Han Wenqing stood over him before leaning down to press their lips together chastely before stepping back and taking off his shirt and unbuckling his belt, unzipping the fly.

Ye Xiu felt his heartrate accelerate, watching the muscles move and flex with every movement, mouth going dry as he swallowed.

Han Wenqing smiled smugly at the sight before going over and kneeling before Ye Xiu on one knee, reaching for the hem of the man’s shirt before pulling it over his head, ruffling his hair.

Dusty nipples were revealed against alabaster skin, pale from lack of sun, pert and at attention. Ye Xiu blushed from his cheeks, down his neck, and to his chest, unaccustomed to being exposed as such, but loving the way Han Wenqing’s eyes darkened further.

Han Wenqing made to move forward, but stopped himself. “Is this okay?”

Ye Xiu swallowed. “Yes. Please.”

Han Wenqing smoothly moved closer, inserting himself between Ye Xiu’s knees, mouth in line with Ye Xiu’s nipples, breath ghosting over the left one. Before his lips latched, Han Wenqing stopped again.

“If at any point I am doing something that you are uncomfortable with, say ‘red’. If we need to slow down and discuss something, ‘yellow’.”

Ye Xiu nearly blanched at the setting up of such boundaries, but took a deep breath, contemplating.

It was smart. It was probably the universally used system for ensuring consent and a tried and true method was never an issue.

Han Wenqing hadn’t moved an inch in the silence. “I understand, Wenqing. The same goes for you.”

After a beat.

“Thank you.” Ye Xiu felt obligated to say, oddly touched by the gesture. If he followed the string of that emotion, he’d likely have to analyze more deeply the issues he had with consent, and Ye Xiu didn’t need to do that outside of therapy just yet. For now, the dynamic of consent they established was enough and further analysis could wait.

With efficient movements Han Wenqing removed his shirt, catching the way Ye Xiu’s gaze devoured him, eyes darkening. He threw the garment to the floor, uncaring of where it ended up before reaching over to grasp the hem of Ye Xiu’s shirt. He slid it up his torso and popped it over his head quickly but carefully before having it join his own on the floor. When Han Wenqing turned back, he froze slightly, expression neutral but eyes taking in what was before him.

What once might’ve been a smooth expanse of creamy skin was instead a mottled mosaic of scars and divots that marred the surface before him. Han Wenqing could visibly see the way Ye Xiu tensed, suddenly remembering his canvas of scars and stories he’d just barely begun to recount with professional help. Han Wenqing felt Ye Xiu shrink into himself, seemingly ready to apologize and remove himself from the situation, but Han Wenqing led Ye Xiu to sit on the edge of the bed and calmly assessing.

A nick on the collarbone that appeared to be the same wound opened up again and again, or maybe another placed on top but not quite perfectly over. Timing was impossible to tell.

A large ‘X’ from divot of the middle of the collarbone to just below the left pectoral, the edge going outwards and another line from near the left armpit to the sternum near the middle of the ribs that Han Wenqing remembered from their first time and totally dismissed. He regretted that he hadn’t asked more, chalking it up to surgery, waiting for Ye Xiu to say something to the contrary.

Wide and jagged, discolored and raised, it was a sight that, although “simple”, was layered in complexities of half-known stories and untold suffering.

Ye Xiu seemed to have forgotten all about the scars before they’d started; the ‘X’, other slashes, burn marks (long and wide or circular like cigarettes being snubbed out), nail scratches, marks where whips and kicks and punches with rings or the toe of a boot tore skin. Where injured ribs stretched and prickled and bled so often, he looked stained.

As an instinctual response, Ye Xiu shrunk back, ready to laugh this off and run away and fall into despair, but Han Wenqing didn’t retreat from his position before Ye Xiu, kneeling on a single knee. He may not have retreated, but he made it clear that Ye Xiu could put a stop to anything he was doing at any point. He put himself in a lower and slightly unstable position as additional assurance.

Tentatively, Han Wenqing reached forward and when no hand came to slap his away, he began to trace the scars with his fingers, silently taking them in, committing them to memory, but not asking for more. He acknowledged their existence, embraced their history, but didn’t glorify them.

These were evidence of a timeline of experience that he had no claim to forcing the revelation of. He didn’t vilify their existence nor make seem like battle scars worthy of praise. They just were.

Everything before him and behind him ‘was’, and it was Ye Xiu.

Any stories told we Ye Xiu’s to choose to share and Han Wenqing would see him no differently than as the man he had been and who he still was and always had been right in front of him.

Han Wenqing surged forward to kiss the underside of Ye Xiu’s jaw and Ye Xiu parted his legs to allow the bulk of a man on the floor better access. But with the momentum, Han Wenqing kind of knocked them further onto the bed, pinning down Ye Xiu.

After a second, Han Wenqing seemed to catch himself as to the position he’d put Ye Xiu in and intended to back off, but Ye Xiu sighed, eyes soft and chest rattling with emotion at the display of sincerity Han Wenqing had showed him in the face of his historical record of abuse splashed across his body. Ye Xiu only hoped he’d never see the burns on the bottoms of his feet, but now that he thought of it, it was wishful thinking (or he jinxed it).

Ye Xiu splayed a hand in the spikes of Han Wenqing’s hair, his fingers at the back of his head, pulling him back down on top of him.

“Keep going.” Ye Xiu sounded more breathy and needy than he intended but couldn’t bring himself to regret it as Han Wenqing took this permission to earnestly indulge in the delicacies that were Ye Xiu’s nipples.

Little peaks, dusky and pert, stood at attention as soon as they’d been exposed to the relatively cooler air to the room than hidden beneath a shirt. Against Ye Xiu’s chest, they were still obvious and well-rounded, unbearably responsive to positive touch too.

With a tongue no doubt experienced in maneuvering, Han Wenqing partook in swirling and suckling, darkening the areoles until they preened, Ye Xiu shivering and shuddering out wanton breaths before Han Wenqing would blow on the still slick area to cool it rapidly before switching to the other.

He flicked and pinched and Ye Xiu writhed, his hips bucking into Han Wenqing’s, their still entrapped hardnesses chaffing against fabric but lost in the sensation of Han Wenqing’s ministrations, neither man cared.

Until Han Wenqing hooked his fingers in Ye Xiu’s belt loops and pulled the man’s waist against his own while biting down more prominently on the right nipple, causing Ye Xiu to choke on a moan and nearly squeak, face flushing from embarrassment as tingles of pleasure flooded his groin and he helplessly tried to find purchase and chase that positive feeling. He hadn’t realized how much he’d missed it until it was provided to him.

Han Wenqing smiled against his chest, having detected the surging desire and backed off from Ye Xiu’s nipples, admiring them even as Ye Xiu shivered from the exposure to the cold. Han Wenqing couldn’t help but give one last blow to them to see them tremble before shifting his attention to rest of his and Ye Xiu’s clothing.

With dexterous hands, Han Wenqing unbuttoned and unzipped Ye Xiu’s and then his own fly. Fingers back in the belt loops, he shimmied Ye Xiu’s pants down his hips, Ye Xiu barely needing to raise his own hips in order for Han Wenqing, the gym rat that he was, to get the offending garments off his ankles and on the floor in an instant.

His own were quickly sloughed off and he stepped out of them and kicked them away, oblivious to any inanimate objects that unwittingly got in the way.

Both clad in underwear, both pairs black but Ye Xiu’s boxer briefs to Han Wenqing’s boxers offered a slightly tighter fit.

Both were entirely unable to conceal their arousal and they didn’t try, but Han Wenqing didn’t immediately crawl back on top of Ye Xiu.

They took a minute to catch their breaths and assess each other. Han Wenqing was waiting for denial and Ye Xiu didn’t give it. He reached out a hand to pull Han Wenqing to him, Han Wenqing plastering against him before hefting him to sit further back on the bed before climbing atop, knees spread on either side of Ye Xiu, hips hovering above contact.

A darkened spot could be seen wetting the material of Ye Xiu’s underwear. Han Wenqing looked at Ye Xiu.

“Green?”

“Green.”

Han Wenqing reached for the waistband and peeled it back, watching and Ye Xiu’s cock sprung out of the cage, preening for attention, red and throbbing.

Han Wenqing swallowed, following the garment down past Ye Xiu’s ankles before tossing them.

He reached forward and wrapped his right hand around the base and squeezed, not too hard now too soft, but the pressure he would use on himself.

Ye Xiu groaned, neck extending to throw his head back against the pillow, hips bucking involuntarily.

Languidly, Han Wenqing stroked from root to tip, the foreskin easing his way.

The pad of his thumb inched along the frenulum, and Ye Xiu shuddered and grabbed the duvet, scrunching his eyes shut and opening his mouth in pleasure, calling out “oh god”. His legs shook, entirely at the mercy of Han Wenqing who hovered over him, but for once feeling entirely safe and actually like he was in control.

With each stroke to the top it was like cresting and withdrawing and Ye Xiu wanted so badly to feel more, feel everything that he was loathe to stop.

“Mmmm” he hummed, Han Wenqing caressing his balls. He licked his lips and couldn’t help but staring down his own body at the hard wall of muscle that currently kneeled above him.

Han Wenqing was darker skinned than Ye Xiu but not by much. Each muscle was well-defined in Ye Xiu’s opinion, but he was hardly a body-builder or expert on the topic so he couldn’t say that he could see them all. But Han Wenqing looked strong but not in the gross, steroid abusing way. His definition had curves and softness that showed that this man, despite his sharp mouth and mob-boss appearance was softer than he pretended to be.

It was evidenced by the careful and purposeful way he stroked Ye Xiu; not too fast and not too strong, but conversely not too soft or slow either. He was all about balance and he’d achieved it well.

His eyes were dark, pupils blown wide with desire and when Ye Xiu saw a red tongue peak out of Han Wenqing’s lips, he swallowed thickly.

Han Wenqing seemed to sense his gaze, eyes sharpening and assessing what exactly had caught Ye Xiu’s attention. When he figured it out, it was with a deep smile and the bereft feeling of Han Wenqing letting go of Ye Xiu’s cock.

The feeling didn’t last long as Han Wenqing slid down on the bed, chest settling between Ye Xiu’s legs, nose settling just overtop of Ye Xiu’s slit, mouth opened and hot air condensing.

“Please!” Ye Xiu begged.

Han Wenqing obliged.

The tip entered Han Wenqing’s mouth, passing his lips and becoming soaked. The bottom of the shaft settled heavily on Han Wenqing’s tongue, the veins throbbing in his mouth to the jack-rabbit heart rate of Ye Xiu. Every bump and curve was felt by Han Wenqing as Ye Xiu was enveloped in heat, saltiness leaking onto Han Wenqing’s tongue and causing him to growl, the vibration causing further gasps and pleas from Ye Xiu’s own mouth.

Han Wenqing knew his limits and didn’t try to force the length too far into his mouth. He swelled and bobbed his head, hollowing his cheeks to give good suction as he pulled back. He hands held Ye Xiu’s hips against the bed to prevent unnecessary movement and he would’ve felt guilty had he not already had to suppress wild thrashing as Ye Xiu opened his mouth and whined out a keening moan, higher pitched than was usual for him. But it was unbelievably satisfied and indulgent and Han Wenqing relished in it, doubling down on his movements and making them synchronized and effective.

He tried to take as much as he could and the heaviness and stretch of his mouth around the girth had him leaking in his boxers. He resisted the urge to palm himself roughly and had to willfully still any hip motions to run against the bed.

“In. Want… in…” Ye Xiu seemed to have momentarily regained some semblance of mastery over his vocal cords and made his desires known: he wanted Han Wenqing inside him.

Han Wenqing popped off, Ye Xiu crying out at the cessation of pleasure and the chilliness that followed, but Han Wenqing would not do anything so barbaric as enter Ye Xiu without preparation.

Ye Xiu understood and would be grateful for it later, but for now he was desperate. He wiggled away from Han Wenqing’s grasp to contort himself until he could reach the top drawer and pull out a bottle of lube and toss it to his boyfriend.

Han Wenqing saw how he knocked the drawer closed and couldn’t help but ask, “condom?”

Ye Xiu paused, breathing heavy, before an almighty blush arose on his cheeks and spread down his chest and to his ears.

“I want…” Ye Xiu trailed off, looking away, trying to pretend he wasn’t being bashful at his desire.

Han Wenqing swallowed thickly. “Raw?” He asked, voice thick and heavy with lust but still restrained.

Ye Xiu threw a hand over his face, blushing furiously but nodding.

Han Wenqing had to close his eyes to keep his breathing steady as his cock throbbed steadily harder. He contemplated opening the bottle of lube and getting on with it, but he had other plans.

Setting the bottle aside, Han Wenqing slid down smoothly and positioned his mouth at Ye Xiu’s entrance, breath hot and steaming. Clearly Ye Xiu had this whole encounter premeditated as he was remarkably clean.

Han Wenqing looked up through his lashes briefly to meet Ye Xiu’s eyes. Ye Xiu’s lips were parted and he was panting, seemingly in shock but waiting with bated breaths.

Han Wenqing didn’t keep him in suspense.

Licking a stripe from the bottom to the hole, Han Wenqing lavished Ye Xiu with his wide tongue. He swirled it around the folds of the opening, creases bending at his movements before pressing stiffly in the center, parting it ever so slightly before backing off to swirl again and repeat. He did this, trying to prevent saliva from dripping down his chin and listening to the wanton moans that came from Ye Xiu who thrashed at each penetration.

Expertly, Han Wenqing’s hand reached around the where he’d placed the lube and brought it forward, leaning up on his elbows to view the flower that had been darkening and blooming for him. With quick movements, Han Wenqing squeezed a dollop on his middle finger and caressed Ye Xiu’s entrance, watching it flutter and feeling Ye Xiu’s hips buck, likely jarred slightly by the coolness.

His nails, kept short for the sake of convenience when using a keyboard, caught on the edge for a brief second before hitting the center, the tip of his finger held in place by the tight ring of muscles.

With gentle, tiny movements, Han Wenqing began to sink his finger into Ye Xiu.

With each move forward, he’d twist his finger, coating the silky walls with lube, squirting more on the finger when he reached a certain point to ease the slide, the walls clenching uncontrollably against the intrusion.

He was so unbelievably tight.

Han Wenqing couldn’t suppress a groan and licked his lips as his finger passed the second knuckle, reaching as far as it could.

Han Wenqing wiggled the digit, the smoothness surrounding him unholy in its tightness.

After a moment to adjust, Ye Xiu’s hips started to move, trying to grind down on his finger to get some purchase. Han Wenqing retaliated by removing his finger entirely.

Ye Xiu whined, but it was cut short when he felt two fingers begin to split him open, Han Wenqing going unbearably slowly from the beginning, driving him mad.

When these two fingers were finally seated within him, copious amounts of lube slicking the way, Han Wenqing crooked his fingers just so and Ye Xiu’s vision exploded in stars.

Han Wenqing damn near came on the spot having heard, seen, and felt, the way Ye Xiu reacted at the caress he’d bestowed on his prostate and focused his ministrations there, scissoring his fingers to stretch the muscles and relax the pathway, working with the unconscious undulating motions of Ye Xiu’s hips.

Ye Xiu was lost in the pleasure and didn’t even register the removal of the two fingers until he tried to get more friction and found himself wanting. Han Wenqing didn’t keep him wanting though and added a third finger and more lube.

The stretch was just that side of too much, the perfect amount to feel know you’d feel it in the morning too and Ye Xiu sobbed. “More.” He demanded, but Han Wenqing was insistent on him being well-prepared. It took a bit more coaxing and a little bit of strategic noises and writhing to finally cause Han Wenqing to withdraw his fingers for the last time and use them instead to prepare for the finale.

His hand was drench in lube and other fluid, but Han Wenqing added more anyways. His cock was straining upwards, throbbing incessantly and steadily, the head a dark purple from all the holding back.

A quick grip to the base of his cock, Han Wenqing squeezed to try and pull himself back from the cusp. With a swipe, he coated himself with lube and met Ye Xiu’s golden eyes that were only barely visible around the edges of his pupils.

“Green?” Han Wenqing ground out hoarsely.

“Yes. Yes yes, green, yes.” Ye Xiu babbled in response.

Pressing the head to the bullseye, his cock met resistance before the tension broke and the head slipped inside, enveloped entirely with blistering heat.

Han Wenqing inched forward, slipping in the tight expanse agonizingly slowly with the aid of lube. The tightness was astronomical and he didn’t dare go fast for fear of hurting Ye Xiu. To many, it might be awkward to stare into each other’s eyes as one sunk into the other, but after all that had come to pass between them, it was a lifeline neither was willing to break.

Ye Xiu’s lips parted in a silent sigh, his eyes becoming hooded, but still they held onto eye contact. His breaths came in fast pants and his hips involuntarily raised which Han Wenqing had to slightly more forcefully hold down. He leaned forward, their chests nearly touching, nipples straining forwards and towards the other’s. With a small pause, Han Wenqing pulled back a tiny amount before undulating his hips and sinking to the hilt, balls settling between Ye Xiu’s cheeks.

Han Wenqing huffed out the breath he was holding and broke their spell of eye contact. Their chests lay flush against the other and Han Wenqing closed his eyes, resting his forehead against Ye Xiu’s.

Ye Xiu sucked in a breath, clearly trying to steady himself, overcome as he was. His chest, which for years had taken to feeling hollowed out, burned hot. His stomach felt full, the stretch expansive. His cock, pressed up towards his stomach and compressed between his and Han Wenqing’s own throbbed from the contact and a dribble of precum wetted the slit, milked as Han Wenqing pressed him down.

Han Wenqing raised his forehead from where it rested in Ye Xiu and slightly backed off so he could look into his eyes once again. He didn’t dare move his hips, knowing he was toeing the line of orgasm already and needing a moment to restrain himself.

He also desperately wanted to see Ye Xiu.

The number of times they’d had actual penetrative sex could be counted on one hand. It was a rare thing even before, and Han Wenqing knew it was both beautiful and a burden and so wanted to savor this moment. But more so, he knew in his heart, that on some level the e avoidance had been due to Ye Xiu’s past experiences. He didn’t want to push then and he wouldn’t now, but he was here and he wanted to cherish this view, no matter what happened after.

He may always be pushing to move forward, but he did know how to live in the now.

Ye Xiu wouldn’t know it, but he looked utterly vulnerable in this position. His eyes looked open and shone with an ecstasy that was hard to notice unless you looked closely. Behind the eyes, all that pain seemed to be brought to the surface, and yet it was overshadowed by a look of confusion, as if he didn’t understand why he was feeling a certain way.

Han Wenqing could see the look of passion and restraint simultaneously, the way he seemed to be analyzing and planning and remembering and letting go all at once. It was the most emotion he’d seen on Ye Xiu’s face since after the finals when he had broken down and cried. All that he continued to hold in, hide behind that tactician facade, fell away and left only Ye Xiu in his entirety bared before him, finally revealed from behind the mask he had had on for the past who knew how many years.

He was exposed from the darkness and revealed all his emotions on his face in this moment, all the false bravado he used to play that blasted video game crumbled, like all the barriers were glass; cracking beneath the weight of all he felt.

Han Wenqing raised his left hand from where it was braced behind Ye Xiu’s head and couldn’t stop himself from using the backs of his fingers and then his thumb to swipe Ye Xiu’s cheek, that was trembling slightly unbeknownst to Ye Xiu,  tenderly and Han Wenqing whispered, “There you are. A-Xiu.”

Ye Xiu’s eyes widened and he stared into Han Wenqing’s unbearably soft eyes, tone dripping with affection and wonderment and his trembling cheeks and chin amplified and tears gathered in his eyes. He was overwhelmed by the sincerity and care in Han Wenqing’s face and gesture, and calling him “A- Xiu”, although foreign had ignited a wave of emotion in him.

Ye Xiu resolutely refused to let the gathering tears fall and reached up with his own left arm to cup Han Wenqing’s cheek.

He smiled with tumultuous emotions, but it was an honest and open smile.

“Wenqing, you…”

He didn’t know what more to say. There was too much to say, too much to not say, and no way of knowing if it would sound as sincere as he meant it to. All that he’d left unsaid until now weighed on him, but he wanted to express even a fraction of the appreciation he had for Han Wenqing staying by his side, forgiving him and himself and sticking by his side despite the pain and effort that had and will continue to come in the future.

Han Wenqing seemed to sense this, or maybe he felt the same way, because he leaned forward to press his lips to Ye Xiu’s.

It wasn’t a messy kiss like people lost in the haze of passion and lust might use, nor was it particularly chaste. The whole kiss was long and deep, a small parting of lips and gentle brush of the tips of tongues before Han Wenqing pulled back, then went in for another, and another, making a small smacking sound that was more akin to the tinkling of jade chimes than anything else.

In that moment, Ye Xiu felt unbelievably cherished and after the fifth of sixth kiss he couldn’t stop a gentle smile from curling his lips.

Han Wenqing pulled away to look at Ye Xiu when he felt the other begin to laugh quietly, fondly.

He looked fond too, eyes still wet but glistening with happiness Han Wenqing had once feared he’d never see on Ye Xiu’s face again.

“Wenqing-a, you really are a sentimental idiot.”

Han Wenqing huffed a laugh, retaliating with a nip to the neck which turned Ye Xiu’s laughter into a tiny gasp before he moved down to suck on Ye Xiu’s collarbone, leaving a mark etched with tiny teeth marks.

Finally realizing just how close he was, Ye Xiu suppressed his squirming as Han Wenqing’s hips held his down firmly. He wanted to wiggle, but knew that this muscly man on top of him was entirely in control, which might have scared him once but he trusted Han Wenqing more thoroughly than even he knew.

Another nip, more desperate.

“Ah, aren’t you going to move?”

“Impatient.” Han Wenqing admonished, but he immediately acquiesced and repositioned himself to lay on Ye Xiu’s chest while moving his hips back just a tiny bit, undulating to push himself against the sweetest spot within Ye Xiu.

Such a quick response. Who was really the impatient one?

With a flick of his hips, Han Wenqing’s cock surged forwards and pressed into Ye Xiu. He settled his weight on top of the other, a little apprehensive about crushing him, but hearing the long drawn out gasp of his name, Han Wenqing couldn’t be bothered. He braced himself on his elbows at either side of Ye Xiu’s head and ground into him, rocking them both forward.

Han Wenqing was a tiny bit taller than Ye Xiu, but inserted into him, they were pretty much the same height. Instead of pulling out and roughly pushing in which he knew could be uncomfortable, he pressed his weight into Ye Xiu after pulling out only a tiny bit.

It was unrelenting on Ye Xiu’s prostate while also stimulating the sensitive passage way gently. With every hilting, Han Wenqing used his thighs to press forward and sort of squish his balls and body against Ye Xiu’s ass and taint.

Since they were pressed together, chest against chest, nipples bumping one another’s, Ye Xiu’s cock was trapped in a circle of their own stomach’s making. With the rocking motion up and down and all around Ye Xiu, he was being stimulated in so many areas he lost track of his gasps and moans and his embarrassment too, allowing himself to indulge and lose all sense of worry and awareness of anything other than the feel of Han Wenqing’s body and its accompanying pleasure.

Like ocean waves crashing into the coast before being pulled back in, cresting and retreating on a surge of pleasure as sweat accumulated between them and their voices twined and became one, Han Wenqing’s a low tenor and Ye Xiu’s a lovely alto approaching soprano at times.

The sliding and friction, piercing of Ye Xiu’s sweet spot, hearing his actual name coming from Han Wenqing’s mouth after years of ignoring when the other name was called. A build up of emotions and sensations, like a combo building up to an even more powerful attack to finish an opponent in nearly an instant after a long period of effort.

The unyielding movement of Han Wenqing’s hips, hot breath against each other, saltiness passed between their lips, desperately clinging to each other in passion, all that was behind them and before them forgotten as they focused in the moment, steady and consistent and moving forward until Ye Xiu succumbed to the ministrations on his prostate and cock simultaneously to spill between them with a high-pitched cry tinged with a low groan of “Wenqing!”.

His balls had nary been emptied in over a year. Ye Xiu felt little to no desire for sex while around Excellent Era and in the times when he’d been building up Happy, recovering slowly. He and Han Wenqing had moments, but it wasn’t as intense and all-consuming as this, and even those moments were years ago before Ye Xiu had been forced to retire in season 7.

Perhaps he’d had a few wet dreams here and there but ultimately, he was pent up and with such a strong show of love and focus on his pleasure, it was no wonder he nearly exploded his release, vision white with speckles of black at the ecstasy.

Having viewed Ye Xiu’s face screwed up in bliss, and feeling the way he clamped down, orgasm roiling through his whole body, muscles spasming and convulsing under and around Han Wenqing, it took an immense amount of perseverance to fuck Ye Xiu through the orgasm that seemed to go on forever before leaving the slim man panting heavily with his eyes closed, a tiny droplet of spit clinging to the corner of his lip.

And all it took was Ye Xiu to whisper Han Wenqing’s name in a tone of awe and appreciation and *love*, for Han Wenqing to release to control he’d placed on his own orgasm and sheath himself to the hilt to spill his seed within Ye Xiu’s slick channel.

Han Wenqing stuttered in his motions as he pulled back and shoved forward slightly with every pulse of his release, groaning lowly, nearly growling at the feeling, choking up slightly on Ye Xiu’s name, feeling a stinging threatening him at the back of his eyes.

He didn’t want to cry, he knew this wasn’t healing, this wasn’t a solution, but it felt like a beginning; a promise to commit fully to each other in all possible ways.

Heaving breaths to try and keep control of the tears and his heart rate, Han Wenqing felt himself soften and slip out of Ye Xiu, cum dribbling feebly from his swollen hole.

Between them was a massive expanse of release on their stomachs, and Ye Xiu had thrown a hand over his eyes, panting still and blushing furiously if the visible parts of his cheeks and red-tipped ears were any indicators.

Han Wenqing huffed a quiet laugh, hefting himself up, carefully preventing drops from falling on the floor as he walked to the bathroom attached to the room (rich people, seriously) and wetting a few towels. He wiped himself and threw the used on into the laundry hamper before making his way back to the bed where Ye Xiu still lay splayed, legs akimbo.

He wiped from back to front, lightly caressing his balls as he went before folding the cloth and wiping at Ye Xiu’s stomach.

Han Weqing’s cock gave a slight twitch at the sensuality, but he was too satisfied to even contemplate more. Ye Xiu seemed equally affected and peaked his eyes at Han Wenqing, most likely to ascertain his intentions. When he saw they were simply to clean, Ye Xiu seemed to relax even more, and a tiny smile hooked the right corner of his lip.

Han Wenqing threw the towel on the ground among their clothes and crawled up on the bed. He watched Ye Xiu for any sign of displeasure or uncomfortableness at the touch, but when he found non, he continued on.

He crawled to Ye Xiu’s right side before shimmying himself between the bed and Ye Xiu, using his arms, legs, and hips to flip Ye Xiu onto his side.

Ye Xiu chuckled, and wiggled to accommodate the new spooning position with Han Wenqing plastered against his back, holding him close, breath warm against his neck.

One of Han Wenqing’s hands roamed over Ye Xiu’s body delicately, expertly finding and soothing bite marks that neither man had the awareness to realize happened in the moment while the other propped Ye Xiu’s head in the crook of the elbow, bending in a way that allowed Han Wenqing to be able to splay his fingers in Ye Xiu’s hair and scratch his scalp.

Ye Xiu nearly moaned. He felt so cherished and yet embarrassed. He didn’t know whether to laugh or cry. But he was tired.

It was a warmer tiredness than he’d experienced in a great long time.

It was also the first time in a long time that he’d been able to be held from behind without fear. It was like Han Wenqing was such a safety net that he didn’t have to worry about watching his own back, and he didn’t fear the vanguard either.

Ye Xiu was only able to nuzzle lightly into the continued scratching before succumbing to the bone deep satisfaction and exhaustion.

Han Wenqing too felt that tiredness tugging him down, and warm with his lover in his arms, he didn’t try particularly hard to resist, burying his nose in Ye Xiu’s neck for one final kiss before they both sunk into deep dreamless sleep.

~~~~~

Han Wenqing woke up to his arms empty.

Through the dim light in the room, it was unreasonably early to have been woken up, but he was used to it thanks to Zhang Xinjie. Regardless, he felt the loss of the person he’d been holding and a brief sweep of his arm revealed the sheets were cool.

Han Wenqing opened his eyes and scanned the ceiling, a spike of fear stabbing at him but quelled a second later when the quiet sound of a puff of air followed by the faint scent of cigarettes met him. He blinked and turned to see Ye Xiu sitting in the windowsill, breathing smoke out of the cracked open window in an attempt to vent the room of second-hand smoke.

The pale expanse of Ye Xiu’s body, mottled as it was, was clad in black boxers, exceedingly stark in the pale dawn light.

Han Wenqing hefted himself upright, making a good deal of noise as he did. Ye Xiu’s shoulders tensed ever so slightly, but relaxed even faster. He side-eyed Han Wenqing who dug through the scattered remains of clothing to pull on his own pair of underwear before joining Ye Xiu, insatiable lips wandering to the back of his neck to lick a mark he was rather proud of.

Ye Xiu huffed a laugh but said nothing, stubbing out his cigarette before it burned his fingers with how little remained.

Han Wenqing knew it for the coping mechanism it was and ceased his kissing to hook his chin on Ye Xiu’s shoulder.

“Okay?” Han Wenqing inquired; voice gruff with sleep.

“Mm.” Ye Xiu hummed ambiguously. It was likely a yes and a no.

Han Wenqing didn’t push, knowing he’d be rebuffed if he so straightforwardly asked “want to talk about it?” He stared out the window at the expanse of grass and beyond.

Ye Xiu turned his head to catch Han Wenqing’s cheek in a kiss. Han Wenqing turned to meet this gift of offered tofu readily, a subdued heat sparking to life in the timbers of his stomach and radiating deep within him, ready to burst forth. He resisted, sensing the misdirection and distraction for what it was.

He pulled back, turning the deep kiss into pecks before ceasing. Turning back to stare at the window, Ye Xiu a little dumbstruck.

“What now?” Han Wenqing dared to ask.

Ye Xiu huffed again. Sighed. “I keep healing.”

“You know ‘healing’ has no quantifiable end point. It’s an ongoing process, one that may never end and shouldn’t be forced to.”

“I know that.” Ye Xiu replied indignantly.

He seemed to think for a moment before replying. “Well, I suppose it’s been long enough of me avoiding my familial responsibilities. And I owe Ye Qiu after all he did to help me get rid of Ye Feng.”

Han Wenqing paused at that. “You know?”

“It didn’t come to me until later, but it makes sense Ye Qiu was involved.”

“Mn.” Han Wenqing was quiet for a moment. “So, you know what happened?”

Han Wenqing himself didn’t really know. He was trying not to think about it, knowing it was for the best.

“I can guess.” Ye Xiu said simply, and left it at that. Although he was happy to be free, he felt that his family had been burdened. He’d never meant for them to get involved and how they’d dealt with it he didn’t know but feared it would implicate them in the future. He could only trust in the foundation of the Ye family and do his best to quell any sleuthing from anyone else.

“What about you?” Ye Xiu asked Han Wenqing.

“I’ll have to go back to Tyranny eventually.”

“Back to that team of Oldies? Old Han, your age is showing.”

Ye Xiu teased at the older generation players Jiang Zhale* and Lin Jingyan* having been picked up by tyranny for the next season. All first and generation pros still seeking Glory.

Han Wenqing smirked, a touch self-deprecatingly.

“My energy is limited. I don’t have much time left in the pro scene.”

Ye Xiu sucked in a breath, a reminder of what he himself had to give up. Even if it was on his own terms now, it still stung. He still felt he wasn’t done but knew he had to stop running.

He knew his healing couldn’t take a backseat anymore and he didn’t intend to let it. He held on to the memories that he cherished and only wished he’d had more positives in his career.

The birds beyond the window chirped, the world waking up, or perhaps it never really slept. Han Wenqing coaxed the frown off Ye Xiu’s face with more kisses that might’ve seemed uncharacteristic of him if you didn’t know he was secretly a bit of a sap.

Han Wenqing knew he couldn’t turn back time, or stop it from moving forward, but he didn’t have to; he’d march right along with it and take things as they came. He’d play Glory until he couldn’t, even after refining his new style better. Afterwards, maybe he’d train or maybe he’d put some effort into the small idea of becoming a pastry chef or a boxer; two diametrically opposed images he’d held in his heart. Maybe he’d introduce Ye Xiu to his mother. He’d met the rest of the Ye family after all and received their blessings after a thorough round of questioning.

He had options, but all of them involved Ye Xiu in some way shape or form, in whatever way he was allowed to stay by this infuriatingly loyal and self-sacrificing man. So ridiculous and broken, but still good.

Han Wenqing pulled Ye Xiu into standing, walking him backwards towards the bed before doing a 180 and leading them to the shower. When Ye Xiu complained, Han Wenqing reminded him of the remnants of their passion that still lingered and Ye Xiu agreed in the end.

And if Han Wenqing used that opportunity to caress every nook of Ye Xiu’s body with his hands lathered in soap, and Ye Xiu keened and whined and wiggled, then it was the easiest thing in the world to slip inside the still loosened entrance once again and languidly thrust to completion once more, stroking Ye Xiu to the same finale once again as well, then only him and Ye Xiu would know about it.

~~~~~

If Ye Xiu could say anything about his life, it would be that nothing he set out to accomplish happened in the way he expected it to.

Through many twists and turns, unimaginable loss and pain, and grueling work, he’d built up an empire as a faceless gamer. Then, years later, he tore it all down himself.

When all those who haunted him had been dealt with and his healing could truly begin, it was with great reluctance but agreement that he would need to retire.

But his retirement was destined to be cut short with the phone call that requested him and his expertise to center stage once again for the Glory World Championships.

He recognized his limits and wouldn’t actively seek to participate, but he wouldn’t fall out of practice as he strove for Glory.

He asked Han Wenqing to accompany him, but Han Wenqing knew that his own time in the pro scene was limited and wanted to dedicate his remaining energy in this area to his personal team and growing the rookies. In this sense though, he would be the support from the sidelines; the grounding beam in the newest castle Ye Xiu would build and support behind the scenes, keeping Ye Xiu fed and taken care of, and keep him honest in attending his tele-therapy sessions.

The chosen pros would see him and exclaim their shock, but also their respect for having returned after everything. They knew that they’d be in great hands and take the Championships by storm.

~~~~~

We can climb high, higher than before. We can stand by while it burns to the floor. Though we cannot fly we will build and the wounds will mend as we build it Once Again.

~~~~~