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Chapter Text

Six Months Later (August) 

Saturday

“I don’t understand why we’re coming up here,” Jonathan huffed dragging his heavy duffle bag into the old cabin. This cabin brought such fond memories to Sock who used to come here with his Great-Uncle Maxwell. Sock had to admit, the cabin had seen better days but was still in good shape for being left alone close to a decade. The drive up here was three hours from the town they settled in.

The thump of Jonathan’s bag hitting the wooden floor brought Sock’s attention to the disgruntled blond. “Come on Jonathan,” Sock smiled swinging his two smaller bags around, “a little R&R would be great. It’s summer. Can’t we have a weekend getaway?”

“Besides, it’s been forever since I was here,” Sock proceeded with a pout before a smile broke through. “You should totally see the lake. With this heatwave the cool lake water is a blessing. So quit whining and enjoy it already.”

Sock could see Jonathan internally agree to the points he was making though he tried to hide it. He was probably annoyed about making the trip up here. Their work had its ups and downs, Sock in retail and Jonathan in the moving company, and with Jonathan working outside more now with summer, Sock thought he should use the weekend to relax away from the city heat. That was why he suggested the cabin with the lake for their weekend vacation until they headed back Sunday afternoon.

Jonathan quirked his mouth into a small smile but tried to keep his sour tone, “Fine, have it your way. Just don’t expect me to cook anything while we’re here.”

Sock grinned. Turning his back on Jonathan mumbling loudly, “it’s not like you cook well anyways.”

“What was that?” Jonathan challenged.

Sock threw back a cheeky grin, “We both know who the better cook is between the two. Plus, the last time you tried cooking up something we got food poisoning.”

“That was one time,” Jonathan gaped at him his face turning pink, “how was I supposed to know you don’t cook fish like that?” He huffed trying to hide the blush that was creeping up his face, “You’re never gonna let me live that down, are you?”

“Nope,” Sock smiled cockily. “So for now on, I’m doing the cooking.”

Jonathan shrugged nonchalant, “fine by me.” Jonathan took the opportunity to take their stuff into the room and pack away his stuff before going back out to collect the food for the weekend. Sock went around the place cleaning up and turning on the generator to power the cabin.

After a while and they’ve made themselves comfortable for the weekend Sock had already put on his swimming trucks and was cajoling Jonathan to join him for a dip in the lake. “Come on Jonathan, its hot outside. Go swimming with me, please?”

Jonathan was hesitating on whether to accompany and Sock was using it to his advantage that Jonathan was wavering. Another plea and a flash at those puppy dog eyes and Jonathan folded. “Fine, let me go get changed.”

Sock cheered bouncing on his feet for a few seconds that interrupted when from the other boy’s pocket rang. “I thought you said you didn’t have service up here?”

“I thought so too,” Jonathan mumbled looking at his phone to see who it was. He frowned, “its Providence. I’ll just ignore it.”

“Don’t be rude. Answer it,” Sock replied. Hesitant Jonathan sighed in resignation and answered.

“Hey Providence, what’s up?” Jonathan answered taking a seat on the couch. In the six months since they left Jonathan had gotten a few calls from her. Most tended to last fifteen minutes and one an hour. Sock was willing to go into the kitchen and wait it out.

I wonder how strict the ‘no swimming after a snack’ rule is, Sock thought as he took a bite from the cookie he grabbed. When he heard a loud ‘what’ in the living room, he dropped the cookie on the counter. Sock made his way back into the other room now worried over the telephone conversation.

“Jonathan…?” Sock questioned grasping the back of the sofa.

Jonathan stood up clinging onto his phone and walking to their bedroom, “What about my dad?” the door closed behind him thus cutting Sock off on what was going on. All Sock could do was stand there in terror at just the mention of Mr. Combs.

Sock could vividly remember his last encounter with that man. He could still feel the sting on his face and the sheer fright of almost losing Jonathan. Squeezing his eyes tight and gripping tightly on the sofa, Sock tried to rein himself back. That was in the past. Jonathan is safe now. Or was he? Is that why Providence called, to warn us?

Opening his eyes, he released the grip he had on the sofa and began pacing. Was his dad trying to find us? Did he want to talk to Jonathan? The last thought made his stomach ache; he didn’t like the feeling of Jonathan’s safety being in jeopardy, even if it was his father. Especially because it was his father.

But what if Jonathan wanted to see his dad again. The only time Sock had met Mr. Combs, Jonathan had protected him. That’s got to mean that he cared for him despise everything and Sock couldn’t blame him for it. Sock still loved his parents with all their flaws and would do the same. However, that was a dilemma Sock was struggling with: what if Jonathan wanted to see his father. He had no right to prohibit him even if he cared immensely for his boyfriend’s safety.

Sock flung himself on the couch scrubbing his face with his hands in frustration. Be respectful: let Jonathan see his father if he wants. Not be respectful: tell him he can’t see him. Sock sat up running his fingers through his hair making his already messy hair messier. Would they go back? Did I want to go back with him and run the risk of bumping into Joane again?

Bouncing one knee as he patiently—anxiously—waited for Jonathan to exit the room. He waited. And waited. And waited, until Sock got more worried and stood up to see if Jonathan was alright in there.

Opening the door, Sock knocked lightly to signal his arrival. Jonathan was sitting on the bed lost in thought but still holding his phone over his lap. “Hey, you okay?”

“Huh?” Jonathan blinked looking up at Sock, “Yeah, I’m… good.”

No, he wasn’t. Sock bit the inside of his cheek deciding to change tactics. “Do you still want to go swimming?”

“No, no,” he answered distractedly looking down at his phone again before settling it down on the nightstand. “You go out. I just need some time to think, okay?”

Those blue eyes met Sock’s at the end and he numbly nodded. “Okay… I’ll-uh leave you to think. Come outside when you feel like it, okay?”

Jonathan nodded already miles away. Sock hesitated by the door feeling like he should say something more. Opening his mouth he drew a deep breath in but nothing came out and exhaled. Give him time. He asked for time. Nodding silently to himself, Sock closed the door and walked to the lake alone. Don’t bother him, Sock. No one likes to be bothered, just look at your parents. They left because of it.

That old fear of his made him want to run away, far, far away where he wouldn’t bother anyone. Sock swam in the lake for a long time hoping Jonathan would show up so the small fear nestling in his chest would leave. When he’s ready, he’ll come out. When he’s ready, he’ll come out. When he’s ready…

###

Sock was resting on the pier when the sun dipped low enough to know he’s been out here for a couple of hours. Jonathan hadn’t come out and Sock couldn’t wait any longer, he had to go back inside to make dinner. You’re not bothering him, he had to remind himself as he got up and made his way inside.

Throughout dinner it was awkward. Neither really spoke up much until it was to ask to pass something over or to refill drinks. By the time they were done Sock was close to unraveling with nerves and suggested they watched a movie.

“You pick,” Jonathan answered going to make them a bowl of popcorn. Sock stood in the other room staring at him go. Get it together Sowachowski!

With his favorite slasher movie in, Sock hit play when Jonathan got back. Jonathan handed the bowl over to Sock taking a handful for himself.

“So what’s the movie about?”

“A group of adults go in a cabin in the woods,” Sock answered a smile growing, “they don’t know it but one of them plans to trap and kill them all.”

“A cabin in the woods killer then?” Jonathan teased, “How fitting.”

Sock relaxed internally feeling like the issue of this afternoon dissipated. “Thought it was right since we were coming up here. Plus, it’s one of my favorites.”

“Of course it’s a favorite of yours. You’re into serial killers thrillers.” He rolled his eyes before playfully eyeing him, “Should I be worried? You did bring me up here.”

Sock smiled largely but shook his head, “Don’t worry, you’ll be spared if I go on a murdering spree.”

“How reassuring,” Jonathan added sarcastically. Sock shushed him telling him he was missing the beginning. The rest of the movie Sock didn’t pay attention to his surrounding since he’s pulled into the film. He turned around a few times to peek at Jonathan just to make sure he was still watching.

“Are you sure you’re watching? This is the best part!” Sock whispered before facing back and shoveling handfuls of popcorn into his mouth. He felt a husky chuckle brush against his ear sending a tingle down his spine. Sock pushed the bowl over to Jonathan’s lap as he eagerly anticipating the climatic plot twist.

Sock yelped at the same time the killer was revealed; however, it wasn’t because of the movie pulling that sound out of him. Another shudder went down his body as Jonathan nibbled on his ear.

“What are you doing? You’re missing the best part,” Sock moaned melting under his careful ministration. Jonathan started brushings his lips below his ear and down his neck. Sock’s heart was pounding loudly in his chest as he lost his train of thought to the movie and twisted his body so it was pressed against Jonathan’s. Tilting his head up Jonathan kissed a path up from Sock’s throat and nibbling on his jaw.

“I should be asking what you’re doing but I really don’t care at this point,” Sock mumbled as lips went pliant when Jonathan captured his bottom lip biting lightly before sucking it into his mouth. After that Sock didn’t think anymore and surrendered himself to Jonathan’s hands. Taking a breath in Sock groaned when he felt the other teen’s tongue slip in begging for a taste.

Sock wrapped his arms around Jonathan’s back gripping tightly and pulling them both down on the couch him pinned underneath. I need to feel more, Sock begged arching his back trying to get closer to him. “Don’t stop, don’t stop,” he moaned.

Jonathan chuckled dragging his teeth over sensitive flesh before licking a strip of skin at the base of Sock’s neck. Sucking on the spot near the pulse point Sock gasped again shaking with need. They’ve never gone all the way, not that Sock was unwilling, quite the opposite in fact, so it seemed bizarre that Jonathan would let it go on for this long. Another shudder and fingers skating under his shirt had red flags flying up for Sock. Reluctantly, he nudged Jonathan’s shoulders back signaling a pause in their activities.

“What is it?” Jonathan answered breathlessly, blue eyes dilated and blinking rapidly.

“We should probably stop,” Sock panted.

Confusion clouded those blue eyes, “Why? You told me not to?”

Sitting up and readjusting his shirt Sock blinked up at him, “but we’ve… I mean, you know. I didn’t even bring any of those supplies because we’ve never…” There’s a pause waiting for a reply but when none were forthcoming Sock pressed on. “What brought this sudden change? Was it something Providence said? Is it about your dad?”

“It’s nothing.”

“Are you—?”

“—It’s nothing,” he barked rubbing his palm over his face then sighing. “We should clean up and go to bed. I’m exhausted.” Sock sat still for a moment before he shook himself and got up picking up the bowl of cold popcorn taking it to the kitchen. Dumping the kernels and washing the plates, by the time he finished the living room was dark and empty.

Walking into the room Jonathan was already under the sheet trying to sleep in the too warm room. Opening the window all the way and the fans on full blast, Sock got under the covers and tried to sleep too.

Thirty fruitless minutes later, in a room still too warm to sleep, Sock tossed his side of the sheet away from his heated body. Looking to his side he leaned over placing his hand on Jonathan’s shoulder pulling him onto his back. Placing his mouth under Jonathan’s ear and kissing down his jawline, the older boy huffed. “I thought you said we don’t have the supplies for this?”

“Not aiming for that,” Sock murmured into his neck as he nibbled at the base. Sliding back up Sock captured Jonathan’s lips kissing him languidly letting the fire between them stay as embers. “I just want to taste you.”

Suddenly on his back Sock looked surprise as Jonathan loomed above with a glint in his eyes before he ducked his head and kissed roughly. Sock immediately responded wrapping his arms around the other’s back and parting his legs to accommodate. Tugging on the blond’s t-shirt up, Jonathan froze before pulling himself away breathing hard.

Sock felt bereft but knew why Jonathan pulled away. It always was his trigger to pull away even the first time they truly kissed. Though it took Sock a while to figure out the pattern he now understood why. Three months ago, Jonathan told him about his incident with another foster teen who had stabbed him leaving a visible scar behind that he felt ashamed of. To this day, Sock hadn’t had the opportunity to calm that demon from Jonathan’s mind and he thought that maybe tonight he could.

Gently placing his hand on Jonathan’s waist, Sock tugged him before slipping his right hand under his shirt. Already tensing and wanting to pull away Sock shook his head having a firmer grip on his waist he sat up and kiss his jaw. “Please, let me do this for you,” Sock mouthed against his jaw. Waiting for permission Sock kept his right hand still ‘til he got the signal and trailing his hand up until he felt it.

Jonathan shuddered squeezing his eyes tightly visibly tense while Sock’s thumb ran over it feeling the raised skin. Kissing the corner of his mouth Sock mumbled encouraging words against his soft skin then taking Jonathan’s lower lip into his mouth. Running his fingers over the scar to memorize the texture and size of it Sock distracted Jonathan with his other hand as it slid up his back before anchoring at the base of the head. Jonathan opened his mouth allowing entrance to which Sock gleefully accepted gliding his tongue inside.

Slowly the tension left Jonathan’s body as Sock pulled his hand away going to the hem of the shirt and pulling it up and over his head. For the first time Jonathan was shirtless in front of Sock and Sock laid back wanting to see. Feasting his eyes on the new skin Sock leaned forward and placed a kiss on his sternum and going down to Jonathan’s stomach. Flipping them over Sock hovered above waiting for permission to continue and with hesitant blue eyes they fluttered closed as Jonathan nodded.

Starting from the neck, Sock explored the new terrain as his lips, fingertips, and hands took in the naked flesh making sure to pay extra attention to the scar Jonathan seemed too self-conscious about.

Sock leaned up placing another kiss on his boyfriend’s lips sometime later, “You’re beautiful. Every inch of you, even the parts you don’t like. I loved them because they’re a part of you, Jonathan, every mark tells a story about you, about who you are. And I love you, so I want to know everything. Every nick, every cut, every scar, everything.”

Sock saw a dark flush cover Jonathan’s face as he tried to squirm away. Sock let him hoping that his sentiment had gone through and he just needed time. Kneeling, he panted from the heat in the room.

“Do you want to go for a swim? I could go for one. How about you?”

Jonathan blinked wildly at him but nodded. “I could go for a swim.”

“Good,” Sock beamed crawling out of the bed and grabbing his dried shorts. “I’ll go change in the bathroom and I’ll meet you at the lake.”

Jonathan gulped but agreed. Exiting the room Sock hummed his tune and waited for him to show up. When Jonathan did show by the end of the pier he was wearing his t-shirt again. Eventually he’ll feel comfortable to go outside with me without one.

Sunday

Waking up late due to last night’s dip, they had brunch instead. Rubbing the sleep off his eyes, Jonathan yawned as he popped more eggs into his mouth. Sock, more awake, nibbled on his ham and eggs burrito as he watched him. His curiosity was getting the better of him. What about his dad unnerved Jonathan so much yesterday? Did Mr. Combs want to talk to them? But how do I broach the subject?

“Hey,” called Sock.

“Hmm?” replied a sleepy teen.

“What happened yesterday? What did Providence say?” Sock murmured taking another bite to stop himself from rambling on. Those green eyes widen by the stiffness of Jonathan’s shoulders. He looked more awake but his expression was closed off.

He took another bite off his egg, chewed, then swallow before answering sternly, “Nothing.”

“It can’t be nothing. It was about your dad right? What did he want?” Sock implored trying to breach the walls Jonathan was putting up. Leaning over the table Sock went to touch Jonathan’s clenched hand. Just grazing his hand had Jonathan whipped it back.

“Don’t.” he warned. “I don’t want to talk about him. Not here.”

“But… does he want to talk to you? Does he want to talk to us? I need to know if he plans to contact you …or us.” Sock pleaded trying to bury the hurt from his touch being rejected. He could already hear his warning bells ringing. He was asking too many questions; he was becoming a pest. However, he couldn’t help himself. Sock needed to know what was going to happen.

“He’s not going— … just–.”

“Then what did she say to have you so riled up? It had to be something big.” Sock implored.

“Just drop it.”

“But—.”

“Drop it.” Jonathan bite back as he hit the table making the other jump. Jonathan rubbed his forehead trying to regulate his breathing. “Just… leave it alone.”

“Okay,” Sock answered meekly, “sorry.”

In the silence that followed, Sock took his breakfast burrito outside to eat leaving a brooding blond to his own devices. Dropping his half-eaten burrito on the handrail Sock berated himself for pushing Jonathan. He should’ve listen to his warnings and dropped the issue but he just wouldn’t. He needed to know about Mr. Combs intensions.

What have I done? What if Jonathan leaves again? I shouldn’t have… have I learned nothing from my parents’ experience? They left me because of all the times I did this. I’m stupid. So, so stupid for not learning to control myself.

I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to do this. Don’t leave me, please Jonathan, not you too. I have no one else besides you. I… I couldn’t handle it if…

I’m sorry.

Chapter Text

Saturday

It was supposed to be a normal weekend vacation. However, when has anything exactly been normal since meeting Sock? So of course Jonathan wasn’t all that thrilled to answer the call at Sock’s insistence. And his day went sour from one call.

“What about my dad?” Jonathan asked as he made his way into another room ignoring those green imploring eyes. He couldn’t handle the subject of his father in the presence of Sock. Not without seeing Sock falling to the ground holding his face. It always made his stomach revolt when that image came back into his mind. Jonathan always kept them in separate compartments in his head, it was the only way to deal with the guilt.

“Sorry Sugar Bear, I got the news from his employer that he was found dead in his house.” Providence said softly. “I know you never got along with him but I wanted to give you my sentiments.”

“How did… what was cause of death?”

“Drug overdose,” she answered pragmatic. “They went to check up on him when he hadn’t shown up to work in three days. …Are you alright?”

“Yeah, I’m good.” Jonathan replied numbly. The news hadn’t sunk in yet and he quickly finished the call and sat there staring at the wall.

He was dead. My father was dead.

Jonathan expected to feel pain from the news or loss. To the best of his knowledge that was his last blood relative who had died. He had no other family member in the world yet he felt nothing. It was just a death. A long awaiting death with his father’s chronic drug abuse. All Jonathan felt was a numbness and lungs filled with warm air from the room.

I should be feeling something, Jonathan thought staring at the wall. It can’t be normal that it’s not affecting me. My father, the man who raised me—as shitty as he did—was gone. Yet… I felt nothing. Maybe a small bit of relief that I never have to worry about running into him but still… I feel nothing?

“Hey, you okay?” voiced Sock.

Jonathan blinked back to the present seeing Sock in his swimming trunks. It took Jonathan a few seconds to register what he had said. “Yeah, I’m… good.” Strangely good for finding out my dad is dead.

Sock shuffled his feet but Jonathan felt himself getting pulled back to his foggy thoughts. “Do you still want to go swimming?”

Swimming? That’s right I had agreed to go before the call. Jonathan looked down at the phone in his hands and set it down on the nightstand. “No, no. You go out. I just… need some time to think, okay?”

Jonathan looked at Sock to convince him to give him time because he needed to assimilate the fact that it wasn’t affecting him. It wasn’t a good idea to go swimming with Sock like this.

Sock nodded and said something but Jonathan didn’t catch it already miles away but dutifully nodded. He didn’t know when Sock left just that he had. Jonathan glanced down at his hands clenching and unclenching them.

These were the hands that look similar to his as well as my face. I look exactly like my father when he was younger. Even Sock mentioned the uncanny resemblance. Maybe that’s why I dyed my hair. Anything to differentiate myself from him.

These hands were the ones that once struck Sock. A shudder ran through Jonathan as he remembered that night. No, no. It wasn’t my hands. They were his. I didn’t do it. I tried to keep Sock away from there.

That night seared into his mind like lightening. Quick and deadly. Tears sprang from his eyes remembering Sock sprawled on the floor with his father looming menacing over him. Jonathan sucked in a sharp breath suppressing a sob. I tried to keep him away! It wasn’t my fault!

‘Of course it was’, his father’s harsh voice spat. ‘You’re just like that whore. Everything you touch, you break. You destroy people’s lives, Jonathan. You’ve ruined mine, you’ve killed her, and anyone else who has the misfortune of coming near you.’

Jonathan squeezed his eyes shut pressing his hands hard over his ears trying to block out those hateful words. I didn’t kill my mother. She left me months, years before that accident. I wasn’t in her life by then.

“Her mistake was giving birth to you.” His mean voice roared as Mr. Combs flung his quarter full beer to the wall. The amber liquid stained the dirty wall as brown shards of glass littered the carpeted floor. Those hard steel eyes narrowed into slits as he staggered closer to a frighten thirteen year-old Jonathan. When his hot stale breath crawled over Jonathan’s face he said darkly, “get it through your thick skull. No girl can love a fuckup like you. If she’s stupid enough, you’ll ruin her too.”

“No,” Jonathan shuddered chilled to the bone. “No, I’ll never hurt Sock. He’s wrong about everything. I’m nothing like him because I…”

Love him. I love Sock.

The confession was staggering for Jonathan. He has never admitted it to himself in all the time they’ve been dating but he’s known all along he felt something strong for the green eyed boy. Why else would he have waited for him?

Collapsing on the bed he stared at the ceiling blowing a raspberry.

At dinner Jonathan was lost in thought and hardly said a word unless it was to pass something over. He knew he was hurting Sock’s feelings so Jonathan suggested that Sock pick a movie to watch. Even after teasing Sock over his choice of movie to bring up here Jonathan handed him the popcorn and watched amused as the other boy stuffed his face with handful after handful of popcorn.

He’s adorable, Jonathan thought watching the excitement in Sock’s body as he leaned over so transfixed with the film. Though he could hear what was happening Jonathan paid no mind to it. Sock was far more an enjoyable entertainment. He held his breath in the suspense and exhaled after a close call and Jonathan watched raptured by it all.

“Did you see that?” Sock voiced softly as he inhaled another handful of popcorn. Jonathan smiled to himself as he scooted closer to him. “Are you sure you’re watching? This is the best part!”

Jonathan chuckled against Sock’s ear seeing the chills run down his body. Jonathan wasn’t that surprised when he got handed the bowl of popcorn to his lap which he quickly disposed of by putting it off to the side. Well out of the way. Just as the climatic part of the film started he went for nibbling on Sock’s ear.

“What are you doing? You’re missing the best part,” Sock moaned melting under his careful hands. He trailed his mouth along his neck watching with possessive satisfaction as Sock lost interest in the movie and turned around plastering his body to his. Going back up Jonathan nibbled on the other’s jaw taking sweet pleasure in Sock’s short gasps.

I need forget, he thought as his hands cupped Sock’s face, I want to lose myself with you. Sock became pudding in his hands as Jonathan’s mouth captured his lower lip biting it before sucking it into his mouth. More. With his tongue licking Sock’s bottom lip he slipped it inside wanting a taste of him. I need more, much, much more.

Feeling Sock arch his back sent shivers down Jonathan’s spine as the brunet whispered huskily, “don’t stop,” over and over again urged him forward. Chuckling with dark satisfaction Jonathan licked a strip of flesh at the base of Sock’s neck feeling the frantic heartbeat. More, more, more. Latching his mouth over the pulsing skin Jonathan sucked with possessive knowledge that come morning Sock would be sporting a mark. Something that would signify to the world that he was his.

In the six months of being together, Jonathan had never felt comfortable to push himself too far in intimacy and it was about to change. He needed to distract himself and what better way than Sock whom he loved. Innocent, bubbly, mischievous boy underneath him.

Chuckling he dragged his teeth over the soft flesh of Sock’s neck then licking a strip at the base. Sucking on the other side of his neck Jonathan smiled into the flesh as he felt Sock quaking. Reaching underneath Sock’s shirt his fingers skimmed the skin above his shorts just begging to be pulled down.

He felt hands pushing his shoulders and he had to pull back, “What is it?”

“We should probably stop,” Sock panted while he tried to bring himself back from the brink.

“Why?” Confused. “You told me not to?”

There was a blush spreading over Sock’s face as he blinked up at him, “but we’ve, I mean, you know. I didn’t even bring any of those supplies because we’ve never…” had sex, he meant to finish. Jonathan knew that. Knew that the reason they haven’t was because of him. But he wanted too right now. “What brought this sudden change?” I just realized what I feel for you and I wanted to—. “Was it something Providence said? Is it about your dad?”

It felt like a bucket of icy water was thrown over his body. “It’s nothing.”

“Are you—?”

“—It’s nothing.” He barked rubbing his palm over his face then exhaling. “We should clean up and go to bed. I’m exhausted.”

While Sock picked the bowl of cold popcorn, Jonathan took the movie out and packed it away. When he checked to make sure everything was clean he turned off the lights and went into the bedroom to change.

He was already under the sheet trying to sleep in a room that was too warm. Damn this heatwave. But even through it he refused to kick the sheet off and struggled to fall asleep. Jonathan felt the bed dip on the other side as Sock got under the sheet too. He had his back turned angry at himself.

Why did Sock have to mention him? I’ve been trying to push him out of my mind. I don’t want him tainting this weekend or anything afterwards. He gripped his pillow tightly trying to repress punching it. Even after death, his father’s shadow reached him.

Jonathan doesn’t know how much time later when Sock kicked the sheet away before leaning over and placing his hand on his shoulder. Being pushed on his back Jonathan felt lips under his ear and traveling down his jaw.

“I thought you said we don’t have the supplies for this?” he bite back frustrated at himself and the heat.

“Not aiming for that,” Sock murmured into his neck as he nibbled at the base before capturing his mouth where he kissed without hurry just savoring. Jonathan was slowly losing his resolved at being angry. “I just want to taste you.”

Not enough. Jonathan seized him and switched position looming over him with a hungry look. Inhaling Sock’s fruity scent, Jonathan opened their mouths wanting to kiss his demons away. I want to forget, make me forget Sock. Legs were wrapped around his thighs slotting comfortably into each other. He felt Sock wrap his arms around his back, his fingers digging into him before sliding down. With his t-shirt on its way up, Jonathan froze and pulled himself away panting.

The fear of his scar always prevented him from moving forward making him squeeze his eyes shut for a moment. Sock didn’t look hurt when he opened his eyes. His eyes soften as he placed his hands gently over his waist giving him ample time to move away.

Sock moved his right hand up under the shirt that had him tense up. The fear very real. He wanted to fight back. To push away and hide but the look in his boyfriend’s eyes stilled him. “Please let me do this for you,” he mouthed against his jaw. Jonathan swallowed back and slowly nodded seceding permission.

The next moments dragged on and raced as Sock pressed his mouth in various places against his skin trying to calm him down. His hand crept slowly up still giving him time to pull away but Jonathan willed himself not to. He wouldn’t do it, not again. Jonathan shuddered when fingers skimmed the scar. Jonathan’s mouth was captured and it was enough of a distraction.

###

After the swim they were back in their sleepwear having sufficiently cooled off in the cold water. Getting under the sheet with the fan still going Sock took the initiative and snuggled up against Jonathan wrapping his arm around the blond.

Jonathan has never been the little spoon always opting to be the big spoon but this felt nice. It felt safe. Sock kissed the back of his neck burrowing his face. “You’re beautiful,” Sock murmured into his skin. Placing his hands on top of Sock’s he closed his eyes and fell asleep. With a soft smile on his face.

Sunday

“Wake up, breakfast is ready,” Sock whispered in his ear the next morning. Jonathan squinted, the sun already in the room, looking at his phone it read passed 10 am. Nodding he sat up bringing Sock in for a quick kiss. Sock wrinkled his nose as he pulled back. “Yuck, morning breath.”

“Shut up,” he mumbled back a small smile appearing on Jonathan’s face, “you like it.”

He exhaled a laugh pecking his cheek, “Yeah, I do. But go brush your teeth.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Jonathan said getting up and stretching. The other boy scampered to the door, looked back, and winked before exiting. Rubbing sleep from his eyes Jonathan went to the bathroom.

When he got out, there was an omelet waiting for him. Sock preened as Jonathan kissed him good morning and picked up his plate and began eating. Jonathan let out another yawn, still tired from last night when they didn’t go to sleep until nearly two am. There was no point trying to catch up on sleep. Rubbing his eyes again, Jonathan popped another bite of eggs into his mouth.

“Hey,” called Sock.

“Hmm?” he replied sleepily.

“What happened yesterday? What did Providence say?” Jonathan’s body tensed remembering yesterday’s negativity. He’s dead. Yet he’s back in my life once more, looming over me.

Jonathan took a bite and afterwards tried to keep the bite out of his tone, “nothing.”

“It can’t be nothing. It was about your dad right? What did he want?” He wants everything. He wants me to be miserable too and he expects me to take you with me—. Sock tried to grab his hand but he whipped it away not wanting his father’s hands anywhere near Sock.

“Don’t,” he warned. Keep away from me. “I don’t want to talk about him. Not here.” Not with you, away from you. Can’t you see what he’ll do to us?

“But… does he want to talk to you?” Sock continued, “Does he want to talk to us? I need to know if he plans to contact you …or us.”

“He’s not going—” to contact us, Jonathan interrupted himself, “just–” leave it alone.

“Then what did she say to have you so riled up? It had to be something big.” Sock implored.

“Just drop it.” He insisted. Jonathan felt his head buzzing with hornets wanting to wound. All of his father’s hateful words were drowning him.

“But—.”

“Drop it.” Jonathan hissed as he hit the table. He rubbed his forehead regulate his temper. “Just, leave it alone.”

“Okay,” Sock answered meekly, “sorry.”

Silence. Then Sock ran outside taking his burrito with him.

Jonathan rubbed his hands against his face trying to stop the frustration tears from coming out. “Stupid, stupid, stupid,” he berated himself. His fingers skate over his scalp as he gripped his blond hair in agitation. This is what I was trying to avoid. He’s dead but he’s living inside of me. In my mind. Poisoning me. Unless it’s already too late.

Jonathan can’t help the tears sliding down his face. He had tried so hard to get away from his father. From his spiteful words. But they sank their sharp nails into him where he could never truly escape.

“You ruin everything you touch.”

He sobbed feeling defenseless to the unavoidable. Jonathan was going to turn into his father and hurt Sock. That left an awful ache deep inside his chest.

“I can’t,” he gasped his lower lip trembling. “I can’t be like him. I don’t want to hurt Sock but…”

But I’m afraid I will.

Four hours later, both boys are packing up. Neither has talked since the explosion in the kitchen. Jonathan kept his distance afraid he already ruined his chances with Sock. They silently moved around each other when passing to bringing the supplies back to the car.

In the bedroom Sock was folding the dirty clothes and stuffing it in the duffle bag when Jonathan stepped inside. He took a deep calming breath trying to push the nervousness to the side. He had to do this; he couldn’t live with himself if he didn’t try.

“Sock,” he said softly lightly touching his hand giving him optimal opportunity to brush him off. Sock stilled under his touch and Jonathan thought he already messed it up. He held his breath as Sock turned his body in his direction and lifted his head. Big green apprehensive eyes glance up at him making his heart skip. He’s scared of me. “I…”

Sock bite his lower lip as he placed his other hand over Jonathan’s. “What is it?”

He’s nervous, Jonathan realized.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to snap at you.” He exhaled keeping his voice calm and soothing. The anxiousness pulling on Sock’s face relaxed slightly. Sock inhaled in short breaths.

“It’s okay—.”

“—Goddamn it, Sock. You know how much I hate it when you say that,” Jonathan squeezed his hand pulling him closer until he could cup his face with both of his hands. Sock’s hands came up and rest at the crook of his elbows. Rubbing Sock’s cheekbones Jonathan sighed closing his eyes. “It’s not okay. That’s why I’m apologizing. I shouldn’t have yelled at you. That was wrong. Do you understand?”

Still biting his lip and gripping his arms, Sock nodded. “I’m sorry I pushed you on the subject. I shouldn’t’ve insisted. I was just worried that…”

“I know,” Jonathan answered. Sock was worried about his safety. He didn’t know—. “He’s dead.”

“What?”

“He’s dead. That’s why Providence called. She wanted to inform me that they found him dead in his house. Of an overdose,” Jonathan said. Sock gripped tightly, the anxiety pinching his eyes. They were both thinking about his past drug trip and how if it was seven months ago that could’ve been him. That sent a chill down his back. If his dad had a higher concentrated dose back then Jonathan would’ve been the one dead.

Sock wrapped his arms tightly around Jonathan like he was scared he would vanish any second. Jonathan hugged back running one palm down Sock’s back in a comforting gesture. He felt instead of saw Sock hiccup as he tried to choke back tears. Teary eyes looked up before tear soaked lips pressed hard against his.

There was desperation and fear in that kiss and Jonathan reciprocated by swallowing the fear and replacing it with comfort and safety. “It’s alright, I’m okay,” he whispered against his lips. “The only fear I have is hurting you like my father.”

The green eyed teen shook his head, “You could never.”

“Never say never,” he replied gravely, “I am my father’s son.”

Intense eyes stared back at blue eyes as Sock grabbed his face keeping it in place. “Never. You will never be your father. You’re kind, you’re compassionate, and you helped me when I lost my parents the first time. So don’t you ever say that to me,” Sock choked back tears. “You are nothing like him.”

Squeezing his eyes tight Jonathan let a shuddering breath out. He wished he could be that positive, like Sock, but he couldn’t. It wasn’t that simple. He had more than a decade with the man throwing those words around at him. You can’t shake that off in a day. But he nodded kissing Sock back like his life depended on it. And maybe it did.

Chapter Text

Sunday

When they finally manage to separate, Sock felt his lips swollen but he was content. Going back to packing they hauled the last bit of stuff into the truck. Glancing back at the cabin, he looked on nostalgic remembering his summer youth spent here. Those were happier times when Uncle Maxwell had been around to show him things. Now he was gone and so were his parents. It was getting close to a year since the plane crash and not once had he visited their graves.

Sock didn’t think he’ll visit anytime soon even if distance wasn’t an issue. Maybe he needed time away to heal from a lifetime of inflicting wounds. Shrugging his shoulder he stepped inside the cabbie waiting for Jonathan to get in. There was a three hour drive in front of them.

Jonathan stood by the entrance but didn’t budge to reach the truck as he waved at him. Is there something we left behind? Opening the door Sock stepped out and made his way to him. “Did we forget something?”

“No, I just… I wanted to…” Jonathan looked nervous and that made him nervous. Was he going to break up with me for what I did at breakfast?

“If this is about the thing in the morning, you can forget about it.” Sock rushed out. “I won’t do it again. I won’t bug you again.”

“What?” Jonathan blinked confused by the train of thought. However, Sock had to make sure he understood.

“You’re thinking of leaving me like my parents because I bothered you too much.” Sock said as he pushed the lump in his throat away. “I promise I won’t do it again. Just… please.”

Jonathan’s eyebrows furrowed as he stepped closer placing his hands at the base of the younger boy’s neck craning his head up. “Is that what you thought this entire time?” Sock could only nod terrified that what pushed his late parents away was going to ultimately push Jonathan away too. “Damn it Sock, why didn’t you say something earlier.”

“I was scared,” he whispered.

“Damn it,” Jonathan cursed under his breath as his forehead rested against Sock’s. Blue eyes looking into green, Jonathan cupped his face, his eyes going intense. “Never doubt it. I will never leave because you bother me. I might get annoyed and ask you to stop. I might even yell at you and storm off but never doubt that I will always return to you.”

Sock was speechless as he could only numbly nod. “I love you,” Sock said breathing in deeply. He didn’t care that Jonathan never said it back but he knew. Sometimes you don’t have to say it to know the other person feels it too. Sock could see it as those blue eyes soften and the tension left both their bodies.

“Sock,” Jonathan sighed out his thumbs caressing the side of his face. “I love you too.”

He exhaled in disbelief. Okay, but maybe hearing it out loud is nice too.

There was a split moment where both were frozen after Jonathan’s confession before Sock shoved him against the wall and kissed him deeply wanting to lick the taste of those words out of Jonathan. It shouldn’t have felt different but it did. He felt invigorated and plastered his body against his wanting to feel his very heartbeat against his own pounding one. Who knew how long the kiss lasted until they were both breathless and breathing in each other’s breath.

“Wow,” Jonathan said between gasps. “I didn’t know you would kiss me like that if I said it. I might just have to say it again.”

“Do it,” Sock challenged his eyes sparking with mischief.

“I love you.”

“I love you too.” Sock moaned against his lips a second later.