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Chapter Text

Y'shtola managed to keep her composure as they transported Qanu from Mount Gulg, through Kholusia, Lakeland, and the Crystarium. When they sequestered Qanu in her suite, Y'shtola left for own apartments, closing the door she took a single step before her facade shattered.

Almost throwing her staff onto the table, she stumbled into the ensuite lavatory, all but collapsing in front of the toilet and dry heaving.

If this was how it felt second hand through their bond, then Qanu....

Qanu....

Laying her forehead against the bowl, she was reminded of when she and Qanu had felt their pain or otherwise through the bond.

How she felt nearly  every hit from Operation Archon and the battles afterward.

How Qanu had described her use of Flow as feeling like her very soul was cut in twain.

To say nothing of when she was cut down at Rhalgr's Reach.

However, when they were together poring over notes from Qanu's research with Mhitra, or simply reading within the Rising Stones,or even simply traveling such as they did on the Azim Steppe, they were content, even the twins being somewhat typical teenagers with their shouting matches couldn't ruin their mood in these instances.

And then she was pulled here to the First.

For much of her first year here, she felt constantly lightheaded, simply staring into space at many points.

She managed to work through it until.....

Until the world sharpened, and she knew, even without the Exarch's note.

Qanu had arrived.

And then, just over a moon ago, she felt as if pressure seemed to build in her very head.

Then Y'shtola accused Qanu of being a sin eater when the group arrived in the Greatwood, despite feeling Qanu in front of her. Thankfully, she was corrected, but her heart dropped like a stone remembering the broken "You truly thought me a sin eater?" coming from her soulmate.

To say nothing of the rollercoaster of emotions she felt from her throughout their travels, especially after her use of Flow to save herself.

She was pulled from her thoughts as it felt as if her very being was roiling, leaning back over the bowl she dry heaved once more, lightly flinching at feeling a hand rubbing her back through the straps of her dress.

"It's just me."

"Thancred." She croaked, blinking she attempted to restore her sight which had apparently been disrupted while she was dry heaving.

"Can you stand?" He asked. "I've gotten some food for you, something light..... Even though I am unsure if it will stay down if we can't find a way to help her."

"We will..." She said, leaning on Thancred as they reentered the main room. "We must."

After eating she attempted to head for the door, only for thancred to stop by stepping in front of her.

"Move, Thancred." She attempted to move past him, only for him to move with her. "I need to head for Slitherbough, the tomes I've collected-"

"Will still be there, after you get some proper rest." It should have been insulting how easy he moved them to the bed, but all it did was prove his point, about just how tired all of them were.

Sighing, she sat on the bed and pulled her boots off, Thancred taking them over to the armoire.

Touching the pendant holding her heartstone, she frowned. "Thancred." She got the gunbreaker's attention. Unhooking the pendant, she continued. "If-if we can't save Qanu..... I will deal with her." She locked eyes with him. "If it comes to that," She held out the pendant to him. "Then give this to Runar, so that my, and Qanu's, souls will return to the sunless sea. And-'' She took a deep breath. "And when you return to the source find Mhitra- '' She was interrupted by Thancred drawing her into a fierce hug.

"That won't happen." He told her. "We'll stop Emet-Selch, We'll save Qanu and all of us will return home."

At his softly voiced "Let it out, Shtola." she laid her head on his shoulder and, for the first time in years, let her emotions loose.

Chapter Text

Qanu clutched Azem's crystal, standing among the field of Elpis flowers that Emet-Selch and Hythlodaeus created, staring down Meteion.

Closing her eyes she focused on them, her friends-her family.

However, instead of feeling the familiar magick of summoning, a loud crack resounded throughout the area.

Eyes snapping open, one blue eye stared down at her hand, in it was Azem's crystal, shattered.

"I guess this is it, then." Emet-Selch said with a theatrical sigh, his gold eyes rested on her frozen form. "I suppose even you can fail, hero."

"Indeed." Hythlodaeus shrugged. "Nothing to do now but watch, I suppose."

"No." Many voices, all sounding the same. "Now, you fade ."

A shockwave resounded from the star above their heads, as the Endsinger descended.

Qanu clenched her hand into a fist, the pieces of the crystal landing amidst the now dead flowers, before leaping forward pulling her greatsword from her back, a yell of pain and despair on her lips.

That same scream tore from her lips as she bolted up in her bed.

Breathing heavily, her arm shot out toward the nightstand, eventually grasping Azem's crystal.

Arm shaking, she brought the crystal in front of her, the sun indention barely visible from the light of the moon.

Closing her eyes she instinctively reached for the bond she shares with Y'shtola and felt....

Frowning, she opens her eyes and stands from her bed, wincing from the pain still left over from her last battle with Zenos.

Shtola had walled off her end of the bond, she still felt through their connection that she was alive but that was it.

Opening her door, she headed for her mate's quarters in the Annex, lightly stumbling every few steps.

She had just stopped at the end of the hall, when she saw Ojika walking past her holding  a platter with a small tea set on it.

"Ojika." She called, getting the lalafell's attention. "Burning the midnight oil?"

The Student shook his head. "Nay, this is not mine. I was bringing it to Y'shtola, she's currently reading in the small library we keep here, in case the students don't feel like walking to the Noumenon."

She frowned deeper. "I'll take that to her, go ahead and get some sleep, I'm sure you'll need it in the days ahead."

He smiled wryly as he handed the platter to her. "If it's anything like a few bells ago, when you were sleeping, than I might." With a small bow and wishes for a pleasant evening, he left.

She started walking toward the library, she had been reading there when they had returned from the moon, attempting to get her mind off of..... everything, really.

Of course, early in the morning, Shtola had intervened all but dragging her to bed. Well, guess it's her turn now.

Eventually reaching the library, she pushed open the door and saw Y'shtola sitting at one of the tables, the only light coming from the moon through the open window.

"And who was it that said rest was important?" Qanu asked teasingly, setting the platter carefully down at the table the other miqo'te was sitting at.

No response, she wasn't too surprised.

"Shtola." She laid a hand on the Archon's shoulder.

The Seeker jumped .

The chair clattering to the floor, Shtola brought her hand around, shining with aether.

It stopped ilms from her chest.

The aether dissipated from Y'htola's hand. "Apologies." She said, ears flat on her head.

Qanu smiled. "It's alright." She once more laid her hands on the other woman's shoulders. "It's been a rough few moons."

"Indeed." Her mate said, pulling away from her and righting the chair.

Frowning at the distant responses, Qanu approached her once more. "Hey," She said softly, arm reaching toward the Archon. "We're safe. Everyone's alive."

"In spite of your best efforts." Y'shtola hissed.

The arm fell, The Keeper's face in shock. "What...?"

The other miqo'te turned from her, arms crossed. "Did you even think about the opponents you were facing when you sent us-sent me -away? Or was your ego forcing you to battle them yourself?"

Qanu's tail lashed angrily at Y'shtola's words. "Oh?" She seethed. "And what about me? How did you think I felt when you killed yourself right in front of my eyes ?! My heart shattered when you told me to leave you in that state! I kept going only because the others reminded me of what was at stake."

The Archon turned and both women locked glares.

Eventually, Qanu let loose a stuttering breath, moving over to the window, leaning on the frame. "I understand why you had to die." She said hollowly, anger ebbing into guilt. "There was no way to continue on otherwise." Shaking her head, she continued. "The Endsinger had all of you within its grasp, that's why I sent you back. Could I have gone with you? Yes, however, there was no way to know if we could even get back to their domain in time. As for Zenos," She laughed mirthlessly. "I was not going to lead that bastard back to you, not after Garlemald." Unseen by her, Y'shtola's eyes and ears lowered as she clenched her  fists, before sighing.

Qanu felt a mental prod through their bond, even as arms circled around her waist.

Placing a hand over Y'shtola's, she opened her end of the bond.

angerpainguiltdespairLove , the emotions swirled before settling on the last.

"I am sorry," Whispered behind her. "I wished there was another way, but it allowed you and the others to carry on." Arms tightened. "If given the same circumstances, I would again choose to sacrifice myself so you may live to see another dawn. As back in Ul'dah."

Smiling, she sent her own emotions; fearguiltangerlostresignedhappinessLove , rubbing the back of her mate's hand with her thumb. "As would I."

They stayed leaning against each other, physically and emotionally, when Qanu felt the pressure against her back subtly increase. Turning her head, she softly smiled at the sight of the top of Shtola's head, ears slightly twitching and breathing even.

Rearranging to more easily carry the Archon, she left the library, mentally apologizing to Ojika about the wasted tea, and debated heading to her own quarters or Shtola's.

Unsure if the other woman locked her door or not, she decided on her's.

Feeling her mate start twitching and breathing getting heavier, she knew the other miqo'te was having a nightmare.

Unsure what to do she stopped, noting the moon, on its descent through an open window. Seeing the celestial body caused her to have an idea.

She started softly singing;

When daytime turns to night

When the moon shines bright

When your tucked in tight

When everything's alright

As she kept singing, she felt her bondmate settle.

Qanu knew that she and Shtola would have bumps going forward, but she knew that their friendship and love for each other would see them through.

To the other shards and beyond.