Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

It all started when I was a young child; probably around the age of thirteen. My home-base was breached by the inhuman beasts known as Savages. Horrifying, undead creatures.

They consumed everyone in their path. Just ripping them apart piece by piece, until you could no longer tell who their victim was. I, being the thirteen year old boy that I was, was consumed by raw emotions.

Horror, disgust, anger, and sadness were just some of the things I felt that day.

But there is one emotion that still lies within me from that wretched day five years ago.

"Guys," I started, looking at my best friend and sister. They're gazes shifted from the sky above us to me. "I… I think…"

Shit, should I tell them? I mean, to them it'd make me seem suicidal. Like, 'Hey guys, I'm going to become a soldier and join the trainee enlisting! Yeah, I know what your thinking, but honestly, I promise I won't die to those almost invincible, dead fuckers that eat human guts and flesh for fun! I'm determined, so it can't happen!'

Yeah. I doubt that will go over well. Especially with mom and Mikasa.

Armin shifted and sat up from his spot on the ground. "What do you think, Eren?" He asked, politely. Mikasa simply stared at me with her dark, unfeeling eyes.

With both of them giving me all their attention, I was hit with a surge of confidence. "I take it back." I spoke. "I know."

This is something I will not change my mind on. I'm going to go through with it.

"What is it you know, Eren?" Armin inquired again, looking interested in learning some new knowledge.

I looked up towards the clouds that were sparsely scattered through the blue sky. "I know that when I'm old enough, I'm going to enlist as a soldier and join the Survey Corps."

An almost inaudible gasp came from my little blond friend. Mikasa turned back to facing the clouds, seemingly unaffected. I closed my eyes, content with the fact that I told them just what has been consuming my mind for the past while. It was like a large weight has been lifted off my shoulders.

"Have… have you thought about this? Like, really thought about this?" Armin questioned, almost frantically with shock. His vibrant blue eyes were the size of saucers.

I nodded. "For awhile, actually. But believe it or not, it wasn't a hard decision to make." I sat up from lying down on the ground, unintentionally getting passionate. "Humanity isn't meant to be caged like cattle, Ar. We're meant to explore and enjoy the outside world. I can't just sit on my ass doing nothing as people continuously die trying to make that happen for us. So I'm going to join, and achieve the freedom we deserve. And if I can't, I'll die, trying to take as many as those fuckers as I can with me." Armin smiled uncertainly, seemingly inspired but hesitant to accept my decision. I laid back down.

"Just don't say anything to mom and dad yet." I spoke, mainly to Mikasa.

And with that I went back to peacefully gazing at the world above. 

***

"Eren! C'mon, wake up!" Armin yelled, shaking me harshly. "We have to go now!" Before I could even open my eyes someone was pulling me up, onto my feet.

"What…?" I started to ask, before my mind registered sirens going off. Three, one-second long blares, then a pause for two, to which played repetitively. Instantly, all tiredness left my body and my eyelids snapped open.

It's was the warning siren.

The border has been breached.

Armin and Mikasa began tugging my body in the direction of the evacuation building. "We have to go now." Mikasa said, surprisingly calm considering what's going on. In the distance screams could be heard, making my blood run cold.

"Mom. Where's mom?" I questioned, pulling myself from their grasps.

"We'll meet her there, Eren." She said simply, like this happened daily.

More screams bellowed out into the air, cutting the rational side of my brain into pieces. 

I'll wait until we make it back into our small village before I make my move. Don't worry mom, I'll make sure you're okay.

As we were almost to the Evac. building, I ripped my arm from Mikasa's and sprinted off.

I ran, turning around the all-too-familiar corners, with my sister hot on my heels. Armin's pleading yells to come back behind us as I beelined my way through crowds of people, heading home.

And that's when I found her. Her legs half-gone and tears streaming down her face as she screamed.

And the blood… oh God, it was everywhere. She was completely helpless.

She finally took notice of me standing there, tears threatening to spill from my eyes. Her voice rang out like nails on a chalkboard. "RUN, EREN! GO!" The creature mauling her never looked up from its snack.

I watched, pissed to no end, as this monster put piece after piece of my mother's lower back and legs into his decaying mouth. Without much thought, I picked up a pitchfork from a nearby house, readying myself to kill it. Livid thoughts swam in and out of my mind.

How dare it hurt my mother; The person who raised and cared for me. One of the few people who understood me. And degrade her very existence by using her body as a feast.

The tears from my mother's eyes seemed to flow faster at knowing what I was about to do. "LISTEN TO ME FOR ONCE, EREN! I CAN'T BE SAVED! JUST GO!" I shook my head 'no', and held the farming tool in my hand like a spear. She looked behind me, slight relief hinting in her eyes. "MIKASA! GET YOURSELF AND EREN OUT OF HERE!" I turned around and faced my adopted sister.

Tears were welling up in her eyes as she saw the bloody and broken state our mother was in. Emotion showing very clearly on her normally passive face. Emotion that hasn't been there since the passing of her own parents.

An ear piercing scream suddenly ripped itself from my mother's throat as another large chunk was taken from her body. "Mo-!" Mikasa started, but was interrupted.

"NO! LEAVE, YOU TWO! JUST-!" Mother's eyes rolled back and her body began to rapidly convulse. No doubt because of the loss of blood and extreme pain she was going through.

"Mom?! MOM!" Mikasa and I hollered in horror. In that moment, the blood-covered savage's empty gaze fixated itself on me and my sister.

Before the thing could move towards us, Mikasa forcibly started pulling me behind her as she took off sprinting back in the direction of the evacuation building. I couldn't do anything but follow. The beast never slowed in its pursuit after us, but neither did we.

We ran for what felt like hours, which was only minutes, through our massacred village. The smell of an irony substance polluted the air and ground. Multiple Savages had their sights set on making us a meal now, but I couldn't care less at the moment.

My mother was gone. And I would never see that smiling face of her's again.

And the emotion that has lingered with me for all this time, is Vengeance.

Chapter Text

Sitting in an auditorium full of people isn't, and never will be, fun. But sitting in an auditorium full of people who're overly confident in themselves, is torture. 

Every narcissistic statement and condescending comment I've heard today, has left me wanting to pull my hair out in irritation.

You have absolutely no idea how many times I've heard conversations run through exactly like so:

"Hi, I'm (insert overly confident douchbag here). And I'll have you know, you're looking at your future top-of-the-class classmate. Nice to meet you. Now I'd like to take the time and talk about me. Because there is obviously nothing greater to have a good conversation about." And throw in some wild gestures that further annunciated that they were glory-driven, and that would have been most of the conversations in here. 

Honestly, a little fucking modesty never killed anyone. 

But those hand motions might.

"Mikasa… I gonna kill him. I swear to fucking God, I going to commit homicide." I stated after hearing an especially dick-ish teen spiel on about his certainty in becoming one of the Numbered. 

Yeah, fat chance, asshole. 

The Numbered are an exceedingly exceptional group of soldiers. Nobody, excluding high military personnel, knows much about them. And although there are a limited number of spots open, a number no one seems to know, there are certainly too many people in this room with the same ambition. 

"Cool it, Eren. You've been waiting how-long for this? Don't fuck up your first day by committing an illegal act." Mikasa scolded. I rolled my eyes, but I knew she was right. 

"Yeah, just ignore them, Eren." Armin spoke from beside me. "They're just making enemies in a crowd that should be comrades." I nodded, remembering that as something his grandfather use to say.

I went to respond but was cut off by a loud booming voice.

"STAND AT ATTENTION!" A large, hostile looking man suddenly bellowed over everyone, scaring the lot of us. His voice reverberated throughout the auditorium. 

Every single person simultaneously stood and gave their best salute. Silence enveloped the crowd of soon-to-be trainees as we all gave our full attention to this stranger who stood on the wooden stage before us. 

Thank the fucking Lord. Let's start this shit. 

"To start off, I'm Commander Keith Shadis. You may address me as Commander Shadis, Commander, or simply just Sir. Under no circumstance will you use my name with familiarity. We are not friends, nor will we ever be friends. You, also, are not my superior, nor is it likely you will become my superior. Is that clear?" He paused, looking for confirmation that we understood.

When he found what he was looking for, he proceeded to go into very specific detail on what was expected of us while we were here. If we couldn't meet their standards we would be asked to leave. And if at any point we wished to leave on our own accord, we wouldn't be stopped, but we most definitely wouldn't be welcome back. 

Within the duration of his speech, we were told things we knew, but mainly things we didn't. He mainly touched subjects along the lines of bed chambers, meal times, and the things we are, and are not, permitted to do in our free time.

Meaning, girls bunk with girls, and guys bunk with guys. Breakfast, lunch, and dinner we're set at a specific time everyday, and if we wished to eat, we had to attend. And as for the things we could and couldn't do, that much was obvious; Always address a superior with respect, follow all orders given, fighting will stay on the training field, and be in bed by curfew. I listened very attentively to everything he said, and was quite surprised that he never touched on anything 'training' related. 

"To finish things up with your training regimen," Shadis paused as a blonde man with a messy undercut came up beside him. "I'll pass your attention off on to one of our most prestigious soldiers, and your instructor, Mike Zacharius." 

Commander Shadis stepped off the stage and sat in the front row not too far from Armin, Mikasa, and I. Instructor Zacharius immediately took Shadis' place as our center of attention. 

He looked to be a very serious man. His caramel brown eyes and tall stature screamed "authority". There is no doubt in my mind that he held a lot of power in his hands, despite being labeled as an 'Instructor'.

He cleared his throat. As he spoke, he began to leisurely pace back and forth from the left of the stage, to the right. "Just as Commander Shadis said, I'll be your instructor. As for what we'll be doing for the duration of your year here, we'll be enhancing your physical and mental capabilities in multiple kinds of ways. In the beginning, we'll start off with the easier things, like building strength and stamina, and work our way onto harder things, such as fighting techniques. Somedays, we'll switch it up to keep you on your toes." 

I couldn't help but notice he walked in such a way that was poise and practiced. Making him perceived to be more skilled than the average soldier. To me, he seemed to always place his feet a certain distance from himself, so if need be, he was ready for anything that came at him. It was brilliant.

I could learn a thing or two from this guy. 

"Throughout this time, you guys will be quizzed sporadically; hopefully training you to expect the unexpected. Conveniently, with these small computerized tests, we'll also be able to see if you're fit for a leadership role here in the military." He stopped pacing and quickly scanned everyone in the crowd. 

"Whether or not you're top of the class, I promise that if you do exactly as taught in this makeshift academy, you will acquire enough skill to take down a Savage. The important thing here is to pay attention and try your best. 

"Now, If Commander Shadis doesn't have anything else to add, you all may be dismissed. Be sure to meet me here tomorrow morning at eight-hundred hours." And with that, the tall, blond man walked off, mind set on a destination unbeknownst to me. Immediately, as if we were the dogs and he was the bone, everyone's eyes were back on Commander Shadis. Without saying anything, he waved us off to go do our own thing.

Well, that was fairly quick. To be honest, I thought this orientation thing was going to last a lot longer than it had. Although, I'm quite happy that it didn't. I need to get away from these assholes before I make that idea of murder, a reality.