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Her mind was perfect. Her genes, her DNA, her very make-up, was not. She could have been perfect, should have been perfect. But she wasn't. Something else had already changed her, corrupted her. But that wouldn't stop it trying. It would try. And how it did try. But she was too far gone, her genes, her DNA, already too corrupted.

It couldn't lose her! She was the first perfect human that it had encountered in years, so many years. And it wasn't going to throw that away. But it couldn't change her the way she needed to be, couldn't change her to fulfil her destiny... And now, now she couldn't. 

It kept trying in the weeks, the months, it kept her prisoner. But she wouldn't co-operate. She wouldn't accept the powers it was trying to give her, the powers that were her birthright. Her destiny.

If she was lost, it didn't know how long it would have to wait for a new one if she were lost. It had waited long enough for her. And it wasn't going to lose her, didn't want to lose her.

But it wasn't working, nothing it did to her seemed to be working. It couldn't change her, make her and mould her how it wanted. Make her fulfil her destiny.

She failed. She was a failed experiment, the first one that had ever failed. And what use was a failed experiment?

Chapter Text

They found her, early the next morning, lying on the ground in front of the storage for the Kree Stone, on her front, one arm stretched out in front. Not moving. Alarms were still blaring, and had been since she was released. May shut them off, the alarms no longer needed.
They had been installed and activated every night to prevent any unauthorised access to this room. Coulson never said it to Fitz's face but Fitz knew it had been installed to prevent him entering the room at night, like he had been during those first two weeks. Yes, he could have easily hacked and disabled the alarms, but he didn't want to risk angering Coulson and being banned from working with Rock. This didn't prevent him from spending every hour he could working to free her.
The sudden silence was deafening. Fitz stood in the door, watching the scene unfold in front of him. He was frozen in shock, at seeing her again, after all those months, especially when he was told that it was highly unlikely that she would be seen again.
It was Hunter who finally moved and broke both the silence and the stillness that had settled in the room.
He looked up, "She's alive. Barely."
Fitz let out a breath he didn't know he was holding. Tears were streaming down Skye's face. But they weren't out of the woods yet. There was still so much that could happen, still so much to battle through. Fitz shook that thought from his head. Yes, there was still mountains to climb, but there was still something to celebrate. She was free, and more importantly, she was still alive. They could still, they would save her.
May, now kneeling down picked her up gently and that's when he registered just how bad she looked; her clothes were tattered and ripped and hung of her body. Her skin was pale and marred with bruises. Where part of her blouse had ripped, he could see her ribs. He shook his head, blinking away tears as he took a few tentative steps forward, hoping that this was all that was wrong but he hated that it wasn't.
That wasn't all that was wrong. He couldn't prepare himself for what came next. Her cheeks sunken, and her lips had a blue tinge to them, as did her finger tips.
"She's not breathing properly," May said, noticing this when Fitz did. "We need to get her to medical." She was then gently lifted by the older woman, who left going as quick as she could while trying not to add to any of the injuries, followed quickly by Fitz and Bobbi, who were some of the best adapted to help her at the minute.
"She needs quarantine." It was Mack's voice that broke the silence that followed. "We don't know what's wrong with her."
Hunter looked up, he was still kneeling on the floor, in shock, and sick to his stomach.
"That won't give her the help she needs, not yet."
It Lincoln who spoke, no one knowing he was even there. "She's going to be in a critical condition. She needs specialist care. Just until she's stable."
"Then go," Skye said to him, though it sounded like she was begging, pleading with him, to help her best friend.
***
She was as stable as they were able to get her, at least for the time being. She had a ventilator. She was barely able to breath. Fitz thought that she had only started breathing after she was freed.
IV's and drips brought fluids and nutrients into her body, hoping to give her a better chance at survival. A heart monitor was the only sound in the room; the rhythmic beating, as weak as it was, of her heart gave him hope. Gave him a flicker of hope in this darkness that she might be ok.
Because she had to be. She couldn't die. She had so much to live for. And she was too young to die. How could her parent's lose their eldest daughter, and how could her younger sister, Sofia, not have her older sister?
She couldn't die.
He took her hand in his own and rubbed the back of her hand with his thumb, and muttered a silent prayer.
He didn't even notice Skye coming into the room.
All he noticed was the quickening of the heart monitor.

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Skye and Fitz were rushed out of the room as the medical team proceeded to try and save her. Fitz sat on the corridor outside her room, head in his hands. Skye noticed that his breathing was uneasy; he was crying. Skye stood there, feeling more helpless than she had ever felt. She didn't want to give false sympathy, she knew how condescending that could be. And she didn't want to tell him it was going to be ok, she was going to be ok. Because there was no guarantee that she would be alright.

Skye still stood there, for how long, she didn't know. That's when the doctors came out and Fitz stood up. He didn't know what to expect but from the look on their faces, it wasn't good news. 

"Is she?" Fitz barely managed to choke out. 

The doctor at the front, Skye didn't know her name, sighed heavily. "She's going to need surgery. I advise you call her parents. It's unlikely..." She didn't need to finish. Skye and Fitz both knew what she was going to say. 'It's unlikely she's going to survive'.

Fitz didn't know how to react, didn't know what to do, didn't know what to say. He just sunk down onto the floor and broke down crying.

***

Lincoln caught Skye as she walked into the kitchen. He didn't know how he was going to say this, how he was even going to begin to say this.

"Skye," he eventually began and swallowed hard.

"Oh God," Skye whispered, barely audible. "Is she..." Skye couldn't finish the question. She didn't want to know if her friend, well if her friend was dead.

"I don't know, Skye. I honestly don't know. But we need to stay away from her. Her heart started to fail when you walked in, correct?"

Skye shook her head, not to deny his question, but in horror. In disbelief. Was he accusing her of this? "What has this to do with anything?"

Lincoln swallowed hard again. "Did she?"

Skye nodded.

Lincoln rubbed his face. "Has she ever came in contact with anything alien before. Before the Kree Stone?"

Skye nodded again. "Yeah, yeah she has."

"What was it?"

"Why is this important? She's dying Lincoln and you're saying it was my fault?" Skye more or less shouted, surprised at herself that she could say that word 'dying'.

Lincoln regretted his choice of words immediately. "This is important, Skye."

"Do you remember the invasion of New York? With Loki, and the Chitauri?"

Lincoln nodded. "How could anyone forgot that? Death and destruction everywhere."

"Jemma caught a virus from the helmet. It almost killed her."

"Is that when she jumped?" 

Skye nodded. "Yeah. She... What are you implying Lincoln?"

"The Kree Stone. It choses humans to make them weapons against us, but... her DNA has been changed. So..."

"So you think, you're saything that..."

Lincoln nodded, understanding where Skye was going. "The Stone was unable to do what it wanted. Change her into a weapon. It made..."

"It made us dangerous to her."

Skye was in shock. She, dangerous to her best friend. Unable to be near her for fear of killing her.

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They had stabilised her, but they still told him that she was not yet out of the woods and that it would still be hit and miss as to whether she survived. May had taken the QuinJet and was going to get her parents. 

The phone call he had made to tell them was the hardest phone call that he had ever made. And it was one that he had hoped that he would never had to do.

The door to her room opened and Bobbi enter. "How you holding up?"

Fitz didn't look up, just kept looking at her too pale body, limp and motionless on the bed. Unable to do anything after that Rock had hurt her, tortured her. She wasn't even able to breath on her own.

"I'm sorry."

Fitz shook his head, finally looking up. "It's not your fault." What he didn't add was 'it's mine'. 'It's my fault she's lying here. My fault that was trapped. Mine. Mine. Mine. Mine. Mine.'

Bobbi took the seat on the other side of the bed, curling her legs underneath her. "Did she ever tell you why she left?"

Fitz shook his head. She was going to before... "No. She never got around to it."

Bobbi took a deep breath. "She left because she thought she was hurting you, making you worse."

A look of confusion swept across his face. "What?" 

Bobbi nodded. "Yeah, she thought that she was making you worse. That she was making you suffer, causing you pain. Making you worse."

"So she left."

Another nod from Bobbi. "She truly believed that if she left, you would get better. She thought that she was the thing holding you back and she had to remove herself so that you could recover."

Fitz didn't know what to make of this. Bobbi and Jemma had become close ever since she rescued the young Brit from HYDRA. But he didn't think she had told Bobbi that, had told anyone why she left.

He didn't know that she had for that reasons. He didn't know she had left as she thought she was the one to blame, thought that she was the one to cause him pain. 

He had gotten this all wrong. 

"And she said that she had only finished your sentences at the beginning, not to get the old Fitz back, but to show that she still loved you, and that no matter what," Bobbi continued, watching as Fitz realised what had actually happened the two of them, and not what he thought. "And that no matter what, you would always be her best friend. That nothing could change that."

"So she did that to show that she still wanted to be us, no matter what had happened?"

Bobbi nodded. "Yeah, she wanted to show that anything could happen between the two, and that the two of you could still be Fitzsimmons."

Fitz buried his face in his hands. He had gotten everything wrong about her. He had blamed her for that, saying that she couldn't accept what had happened, trying to make him back to he used to, when in actual fact she was showing that nothing could ever change their friendship. He had made mistakes.

Then he realised that he had not asked her how she was. How she was coping after Ward had dropped them in the ocean. How no one had asked her how she was coping the past year, that Bobbi was really the only one who had cared. 

She didn't come out of that pod uninjured like the way everyone seemed to think. Nightmares would have been the least of her problems. He didn't have that many, and had mostly stopped once he had confronted Ward. The day he had learnt she was HYDRA. The day he had mistaken thought she had ran away from him, and not to her parents. 

He wasn't the one who had to drag their best friend, who was on the brink of death, from the ocean floor, knowing that their life was literally in your hands. He wasn't the one to know how it had felt to see that button pushed. How the water had burst into the pod. How the sunlight must have felt once she broke the surface.

His main concern was protecting her, letting her live.

And he had failed her. He hadn't cared about how she had felt after the pod. He didn't stop to think how she must have felt. 

And looking back, he noticed things that should have been obvious to him, to everyone. 

How she avoided being in small, cramped spaces and if she had to be in one, she kept the door open as wide as she could.

How, in those first few weeks, she only showered when she needed to. Avoiding being in water when ever she could. 

He hated himself for not asking how she was, for not caring as much as he should have.

For blaming her. 

He looked down at her, noticing how young, how innocent she looked. How much she had gone through, when she shouldn't have. How he had gotten everything wrong.

He looked up at Bobbi, how Bobbi had taken care of her, how Bobbi had cared when no one else had. 

"Thank you."

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May arrived with her parents the day after. Skye watched them come in, but didn't want to say anything. Scared to. How could she? She, and Lincoln, were the ones who were making everything worse. They were the ones who were causing Jemma more pain, leaving her unable to heal. 

Skye wanted to leave base, at least until Jemma recovered. At least until her friend was conscious, then, then they could decide their next move and where to go next. Decide what to do. They both couldn't stay at the base at the same time, it was too much of a risk.

"Coulson," Skye began anxiously that day. "I need to return to Afterlife for a short period. Just to see how it's been doing. I've not been there in two months."

Coulson set down his files. He looked awful, worse than he had when Jemma had first been reported missing. He sighed wearily as he looked up at her. "Aren't you communicating and overseeing the rebuilt from here."

"Please sir," Skye begged avoiding the question. This is when Coulson realised that something was wrong with Skye. Really wrong.

"Skye," he began. "What's the matter?"

And Skye broke down in tears, telling him everything.

***

May flew Lincoln and Skye to Afterlife that afternoon. As much as it pained Skye that she couldn't be by the side of her best friend, that she'll never be able to be near her best friend ever again for fear of hurting her, she was glad in a sense that she was leaving. Glad that she wasn't causing her any more pain, glad that she was giving her the best chance at recovery. 

She sighed heavily as she stared down at her feet. She had only known Jemma for two years and classed her as her greatest, and closest friend. It wasn't the length of the friendship that mattered. You could be friends with someone for ten years and still not trust them with all your dark secrets, and you could be friends with someone for less than a year and trust them with all those dark secret. It was a matter of quality, not quantity.

"How are you?" Lincoln asked, knowing that it was a stupid question, but still asking. This was hard on Skye, losing another person she loved, just after she was starting to get over the loss of her parents.

Skye shook her head. "She was like family to me."

***

Fitz sat on one side of her bed, her parents on the other. Her dad seemed to be numb to what was happening and her mother, silently crying. No one spoke, and in a sense, no one needed to. They were all suffering. They all loved her.

"I'm sorry," Fitz said, breaking the silence.

Her mother, Adelle, shook her head. "It wasn't your fault."

But guilt ate Fitz up. He had unlocked the case to the Kree Stone, no matter how many times, and how many people told him that it hadn't been his fault, he still blamed himself.

"She's strong," Rupert, her father said, "She'll fight this."

Fitz nodded, looking down at her. She still had a ventilator, unable to even breath after her heart had almost failed. It had actually failed, it had failed twice on the operation table. The drips still carried fluids to her malnourished body. She was pale, too pale, and Fitz wanted to hope, wanted to know  that she would get better.

But the doctors were still unsure if she'd make it to the night, never mind make it through the night.

Her father, as most fathers' are when it comes to their children, was right. She was strong. She was fighting it. She was surviving. Her heartbeat was growing stronger, regaining the steady beat that it should have had.  

But what they didn't know that it was Skye's leaving that helped the most. Helped her body to recover.

As, isn't that the purpose of family?

To help each other, even if it causes you pain.

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Her breathing started to improve through the night, but by morning nothing else had improved. Everything was just steady. Fitz thought this good. She wasn't improving as she should have been but she also wasn't deteriorating. That had to be something. Mean something. Didn't it? This kept up for days. No improvement. The doctors were thinking that even though she was improving at the beginning, that was the best that was going to happen. She had been through a lot. A lot that they didn't seem to understand.

On the morning of the fifth day her parent's were taken out of the room. Fitz looked up from where he was sitting, on the opposite of the bed from them, as they made their way to the door. His gut twisted. He knew what they were going to say. And he couldn't face that. He couldn't face, couldn't comprehend her death.

She was too young. She still had too much to live for.

He gently lifted her hand slightly, bringing his head down to place a kiss on the back of her hand. She was still to pale, too thin. "Come on Jems, your dad's right. You're a fighter. You're bigger than this, better than this. You can fight this. I believe in you."

The door opened again, her parents entering, her dad numb. Her mother had more silent tears streaming down her face. Silent tears streaming down her face. Tears, Fitz didn't think was possible. She had cried so much these past few days that she had eventually stopped, unable to cry anymore.

Fitz stood, placed another gentle kiss on her forehead, before leaving. He knew what was coming. He knew what was going to happen. The doctors couldn't do anymore. They were giving up. Giving up on Jemma.

And he had no say in what was to happen. No power here. Her parents had decided. Taken the advice of what the doctors though to be best.

He couldn't be in there currently. He knew they would want to say their goodbyes without him being present. He would get his time later. To say all that he wanted to say, all that he should have said earlier.

***
May found him sitting in her room, staring at her wall. There were pictures of the two of them decorating the wall. And he was lost in them, in happier times.

He turned after hearing her enter. She could have entered more silently, but she didn't. She wanted Fitz to know she had entered.

"They're turning it off tomorrow," was all he could whisper.

"They're taking her off it, yes. But she's able to breath better now, and her heartbeat is stronger. She can do this. There's nothing they can do when she's on it. It's up to her now."

Fitz looked at May. "Is she?"

May raised an eyebrow. There was a sadness to her eyes. She was worried for Jemma. They all were. Jemma was like a daughter to her. "Yes. She's strong. She can do this."

"I just don't want to lose her. And I know how selfish that sounds but..."

"It's not selfish."

"It's not?"

May shook her head. "You love her."

Fitz nodded, and unable to hold back the tears, he broke down crying.

May did something she had only did a couple of times, the last time being the year previous with Jemma, and sat beside him.

Fitz's head, without either of them really noticing, or caring, fell onto the older woman's shoulder, and they both sat there in silence, which was occasionally broken by Fitz's sobs.

***
Her parents gave him some time alone with her that next afternoon. He's spend that night with her parents, and that morning. Nobody was saying anything. What ever that needed to be said was better said in private. She looked so different with only a few drips, providing nutrition, and no ventilator.

"I'm sorry, Jems," Fitz whispered, stroking her hair. It was limp, and had lost all of it's colour. "I caused this. It's my fault. I wasn't able to help you. I'm sorry."

A knock on his door disturbed him, causing him to look up. May.

"Skye asked me to give you these."

She handed him a bunch of flowers, daisies, with a card attached and a handwritten note. The flowers and card were for Jemma but the handwritten note was addressed to him.

May walked out, knowing that he wanted this alone time with her.

He unfolded the note, a single word written on the front; Fitz.

Inside it read;

Fitz. I'm sorry I've left and you have every right to be angry, but I was hurting her, causing her pain.

I caused her heart to fail. It was me. And please, don't try to say it wasn't. You were there. You know she got worse when I entered.

I left to protect her, to let her recover, to let her live. 

It changed her, Fitz, she was supposed to be a weapon. Against Inhumans, against us. And it failed, the Chitauri virus is to blame. Now, we're the dangerous ones. We cause her pain.

I couldn't bear to cause her pain.

So, please tell her I love her and that I am sorry.

Fitz hadn't expected that. He wasn't expecting anything like that. It was the virus. It came back down to that. He had never expected that to cause her anymore pain. 

He put the flowers in the empty vase on her bedside table. He wanted to cry but he had no more tears yet to cry.

She was dying. The doctors had little hope for her once they took her off the ventilator. 

Her parents just wanted to ease her suffering so that she didn't have to go through with this.

Hours passed and afternoon soon turned into evening. Her parents came in. They were going to stay, and so was he, until she woke up, or she...

He couldn't even form the words in his mind.

By the time midnight came, both her parents had fallen asleep in their chairs, and he was close to as well.

But he couldn't fall asleep and leave her alone. Not at a time like this. 

His eyes had just started to flutter shut when hers fluttered open.

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At first, he thought he imagined her eyes fluttering open. He had to have imagined it, dreamed it. It wouldn't have been the first time that he imagined something involving her.

He finally realised something was happening when he heard her mother's voice break, calling out her name. "Jemma?"

He moved closer to her, hoping for good news. He couldn't bare bad news. He couldn't take any thing like that any more.

Her mother had one of her hands in her own, calling to her daughter again and again and again.

She was gasping, unable to get a breath in. She had been able to breath previous to now, her subconscious mind dictating what to do, as it usually did, but for some reason, now that she was awake. She couldn't get a breath in. She sounded in pain, and it was hurting him, being unable to do anything.

Her father was rearranging the pillows, raising her from her completely flat position, to sitting up, hoping that this would allow. It took time, Jemma taking huge breaths, trying to force oxygen in her lungs, oxygen that did not want to stay there.

Finally, she was able to settle her breathing. By the time she had, tears were streaming down her face, skin pale and clammy, and her throat felt as though it were on fire. "Jems," Fitz said, the back of his hand resting gently against her cheek.

Her sobs, now audible, were heart wrenching. She didn't deserve this. She had done nothing wrong, and yet she had suffered more than anyone should have to suffer. 

She tried to raise her hand to place it on top of his, but she couldn't. She wanted to, but she couldn't. She had no energy, no strength. 

Her parents were now crying tears of joy, they were overwhelmed. They couldn't believe that their daughter was back. 

Her father was rubbing his hand up and down her arm and her mother was placing kiss after kiss after kiss on the top of her head. 

By then, two doctors had heard the commotion and were trying to talk to her parents, who were more interested in her.

"Please Mrs Simmons," the female one, Dr Saunders, all but pleaded. They needed to take her vitals. Dr Tam just stood there, helplessly beside her. He eventually cleared his throat, altering their presence to her dad. 

"Jemma," he said, softly. She turned her head, slowly, painfully, to look at him. "We've to move for a couple of minutes, okay? But we'll be right back, okay? We're not leaving you."

She didn't nod, just stared back at him, but her eyes told him all that he needed to know, that she understood.

***

They had to wait outside, the doctors wanting to run all tests in private.

Fitz sat on the floor, back against the wall, legs drawn up to his chest. He was in shock. She was alive. She was alive. She was alive. Those three words kept flowing through his mind. 

The last time he had sat in this position, he had been told that she was going to die.

And now she was alive.

He didn't think that he could speak, his stomach was in knots, as though there were a million tiny butterflies dancing inside of him.

Her father leaned against the wall opposite, head in his hands, sobbing silent tears of joy, while her mother paced up and down, running her hands frantically through her hair. She was in just as much shock as the both of them, if not more.

It was another hour before they were allowed back in the ward. Jemma was still sitting up against the pillows, but there was something different about her.

She looked worse than she had done already. She looked listless, and there was something about her eyes again. They were glazed over. 

"Jems?" Fitz asked from the doorway, unable to regain his seat. Her parents, meanwhile had. She either didn't notice him, or noticed him and couldn't reply.

Her mum was back to stroking her hair, whispering that it would be okay, that her blood was being taken.

"Sharp pinch, okay?" the nurse, Alice Taylor, said. Jemma didn't move, didn't even flinch.

Her mother kept stroking her hair, telling her that she was okay, that everything was okay.

Alice Taylor, now having taken a sample of blood, smiled at Jemma, who wasn't even looking in her way, and said, "That's all, we'll have these tests as soon as possible."

"Thank you," her father said, shaking the nurse's hand.

"It's no problem,"Alice said, giving the smile.

She left, and Jemma turned her head slightly, to the doorway where Fitz was leaning. "F...F...F..." she tried, unable to speak the words. They were on the tip of her tongue, getting stuck in her throat.

"Yeah," he asked, not wanting to move, but knowing he had to. "Yeah Jems. I'm here." He sat at the end of her bed, smiling up at her. "Yeah?"

"Fitz," she finally managed to say, the words burning her throat on the way out.  

"I'm here," he reassured, placing a hand gently on her leg. "I'm here, and I'll always be here for you."

She tried to smile, she really did. She wanted to smile for him, to show that she was okay. But she wasn't. And she wouldn't be for some time. That Stone had hurt her, made her relive her worst memories.

But she didn't know what was real, and what wasn't.

She didn't know if she had died, and this was some afterlife.

She didn't know if she had been dropped in the ocean by some one who she had considered a friend (was it Ward? Or was it someone else), or if that was just some fantasy that the Stone had put in her head.

She didn't know if she had been trained from birth, destined to hunt and hurt the Inhumans, destined to kill them as her Kree masters had said (but ultimately failed. She had failed them and they were going to kill her).

She didn't know if she had been placed in that Stone, as some sort of punishment for her training, destined to stay there forever.

She didn't know what was real, and that scared her.

***

She didn't remember falling asleep, didn't remember drifting off. The darkness that claimed her again. The darkness always claimed her.

She woke up whimpering, crying out at all that had and hadn't happened.

"Jemma, Jemma, Jemma," a voice from her left repeated again and again and again.

Fitz. It was Fitz.

It was always Fitz.

He reached out, tentatively, scared to hurt her. "Fitz," was the word that escaped her.

"I'm here," he said, stroking the side of her face, gently rubbing circles with his thumb. "I'm here."

"Did I fall asleep?" she asked, wanting to know whether it was sleep that had claimed her, or the never ending darkness.

"For a little while," he replied. "Your mum and dad have gone to one of the rooms to sleep. I said I'd stay here."

She nodded, taking in this new information. "Where's Skye?"

Fitz swallowed nervously, he had been dreading this conversation.

He took a deep breath.  

Chapter Text

She was in a cell of stone, the walls damp. The air was heavy, she couldn't breath. She could never breath in here, hadn't been able to in the days that she was kept in her. 

She had failed them. Failed the ones who had raised her, given her everything she had wanted in life. They hadn't asked for much of her, had only asked for one thing. But she couldn't do that, couldn't give that to them.

She was a bad person.

A horrible person.  

She didn't know how long she had been here, only that she was to be in here until they decided what was to be done with her, what her punishment was for failing them.

They had asked for so little from her, but she had asked for so much.

And she hadn't been able to give them what she wanted.

And she was going to pay for that, suffer for that. 

Oh God, she was going to suffer. 

Her head was splitting and she couldn't get a breath in, she couldn't breath.

She couldn't breath.

And that's where she was found, on the cell floor, gasping for her.

"Get up," was all the voice needed to tell her, not needing to motivate her any more. But she couldn't move. Her lungs were on fire. They wanted oxygen. But that oxygen didn't want her.

A boot founds its way into her ribs and a whimper of pain escaped from her lips, and a hand wrapped around her arm, forcing her up.

They didn't even bother with the shackles, didn't need to any more. For what danger was she? She couldn't fight, she posed no threat. 

As her arms were forced behind her back, her head dropped. Today was the day. Today was the day that it was finally going to happen. The trail.

***

And she couldn't focus. She couldn't concentrate on anything. It was just noise. Noise to her.

All those eyes on her. Making her head hurt. Making her want to scream. Making her want to cry.

Her head remained down as whatever fate was being decided by the Kree, her master.

Death was what she was thinking. 

And she wanted to say that she wasn't scared, wasn't terrified, that she didn't fear death. 

But she did.

It terrified.

There was so much she wanted to do, so much she hadn't done.

So much left unsaid.

She almost didn't hear what the verdict was, too absorbed in her own thoughts.

But wasn't that what she was?

A useless, self-absorbed, horrible person.

But the verdict was to be trapped forever, in a prison meant for those whom she was hurt, to hunt, to kill.

That was worse than what she had expected.

Trapped forever with nothing but her thoughts.

"No," she muttered to herself. "No. No. No!"

The words got louder, until they were screams of anguish. She couldn't do that. She didn't deserve this?

Or did she?

Damned to live forever, with all the regret and pain and hurt she had caused?

She didn't know.

Everything hurt and everything was confusing.

The black liquid that absorbed her was choking her, she couldn't breath.

"Jemma, Jemma, Jemma." 

Chapter Text

Fitz had started to noticed a connection regarding Jemma, and one of her nurses, the one named Alice. Every time that she came in to check on Jemma, she grew listless and unresponsive. Even though she was continuing to heal every day. Fitz was getting worried, as where her parents. Coulson had explained everything to her parents; how she had been absorbed by the Monolith, how it had tried to alter her, to make her a weapon against the Inhumans and how it had ultimately failed. Made the Inhumans a weapon against her. 

All things considering, her parents took it well. They were just happy she was alive. And getting better.

It was a week after she first woke up, when Alice entered the room, and Jemma grew listless yet again, did Fitz call Skye. She picked up on the first ring and sounded scared.

"Is it Jemma? What's the matter? Is she..."

"Skye, she's fine."

Skye let out a breath of relief. "That's amazing." Though amazing was an understatement.

"She's growing listless with her nurse however, every time she comes in. Do untransformed Inhumans have the ability to hurt her as well."

Skye grew silent. "Maybe, I'm not sure."

There was noise on the other end of the phone, someone shouting 'Daisy!'

"Skye?" Fitz asked, "Is everything okay there?"

"Yeah, yeah," she replied. "Just Lincoln needs me to sort something out."

"Don't worry," Fitz said. "See you soon?"

"Hopefully, and Fitz?"

"Yeah?"

"It's Daisy now."

***

Fitz raised his concerns with Coulson who said that they would see what she was like with a different nurse. 

"Thanks," Fitz said, heading for the door when Coulson called him back. 

Coulson took a heavy sigh. "Jemma's leaving S.H.I.E.L.D."

"What?" This took Fitz back. Jemma leave? That couldn't be possible. Even after all that had happened, Jemma wouldn't want to leave. This was her job, her life. And the team were like family to her. "When?"

"Tomorrow. I talked to her parents and they would rather her be at home."

"She'll be coming back?"

A shake of the director's head.

"No. She's not. It's not safe for her to be here with the Terrigen crisis that's happening at the minute. She can recover better at home."

"Then I'm going with her."

Coulson raised an eyebrow. He knew Fitz would do anything for her, go anywhere for her. Hell, if she were stuck on the far side of the galaxy, Coulson was confident that Fitz would find a way to save her. "We need you here Fitz."

Fitz shook his head. "No. Jemma needs me. And I'm going with her." And with that, he exited the office, slamming the door behind him. Coulson buried his face in his hand. He should have know that would happen. You don't get one without the other.

***

Fitz returned to her room, finding her with earphones in and talking on the tablet. Sofia. She was talking to Sofia. Her younger sister.

"Hey," Fitz whispered crawling into bed beside her, something that was happening more frequently.

"Hi," Jemma whispered back, taking out one earphone and giving it to him. As soon as he put it in, he was met with squeals of delight from Sofia.

"Fitz!" She gave him a toothy smile, only for him to notice that the front two were missing.

"Hi," he replied, giving a wave. "It's been years."

Sofia nodded. "Jemma's coming home tomorrow."

Fitz nodded. "She is. And I'm coming with her."

Jemma turned to face him. He expected her to be shocked to be horrified, or shocked but she wasn't. Instead she was happy, and rested her head don his shoulder. "Yes, Sofs, he is." 

"I have to show you my monkey tomorrow!"

"Yes, you do. Monkeys are the best!" The young girl nodded enthusiastically. 

Jemma just rolled her eyes. "Kolas?"

Sofia though long and hard for a minute. "They're okay."

Jemma laughed, a sound that Fitz didn't think he'd ever hear again.

They spent the rest of the afternoon like that, and didn't even notice when a different nurse came in to check Jemma's vitals.

Chapter Text

When they reached the house that Jemma and her family shared in Sheffield, the squeals of Sofia filled the air. She wanted to do nothing more than to jump into her older sister's arms but she had been told that Jemma had been poorly, and was still recovering and that was a bad idea.

So she jumped into Fitz's arms, taking him by surprise. He stumbled back but quickly regained his footing and swung the young five year old around as Jemma stood in the doorway laughing. "Jemma!" the young girl screamed, and reached for her. Fitz walked over to Jemma, and allowed Sofia to wrap her arms around her sister's neck and place a kiss on her cheek before setting her down.

"I've not seen you in years!" she cried out, and Jemma nodded, a sadness taking over her eyes. It had been years since she saw Sofia, she hadn't seen Sofia in two years, since before she joined Coulson's team. Since before all of this had happened. 

"I've so much to show you!"

"Do you know?" Jemma asked, kneeling down to face her sister, raising her eyebrow. A nod from Sofia prompted Jemma to ask her next question. "Shall you meet me in my room in ten minutes?"

Sofia nodded before running off, delighted that her sister was back home. 

Jemma stood up again, a wave of dizziness swallowing her and she had to lean against Fitz to ensure that she didn't loose her footing.

"You okay?" he asked, as she took deep breaths. A nod from her did little to reassure him.

"Just... just too much at once."

"Upstairs then?" he asked and this received another nod from her. 

After all the years that they hadn't been to her house, her room was still the same, the sheets on the double bed crisp and fresh. The neighbour, who had been minding Sofia, must have changed them, and there was a hamper on the bed, full of welcome home goodies and a get well soon card. Fitz lifted the hamper of the bed, placing it on the corner as Jemma climbed into the bed, and patted the space beside her.

Confusion spread across his face before he finally realised what she wanted. Once he was on the bed beside her, she shimmied into a more comfortable position, before resting her head on his chest. "Thank you," she whispered as she felt a ghost of a kiss grace her forehead.

"Fore what."

She sighed, rolling her eyes. "For everything. You save me time and time again. I don't deserve someone like you."

"Jems, Bobbi told me everything, about why you left for Hydra. Is it.. Is it true?"

The answer caught in her throat before she finally breathed, "Yes. It's true. I was hurting you. I was making you..."

But Fitz cut her off, turning her face ever so gently so that she would be able to face him, looking him in the eye. "I cut you off. I shouted at you. I was the one hurting you. It was a bad time, for both of us. I was trying to protect you, I was trying to save you. But I didn't protect you after. I left you alone and for that I'm sorry."

Jemma nodded, and left him wipe away the tears that had started to fall. "I still love you. I always have ever since that day. Chem Lab..."

Fitz looked at her, taking in what she had said. She had loved him for so long, and hadn't acknowledged it. It had only taken them multiple near death incidents to realise this. "I though I was the only one," Fitz finally said.

Jemma laughed at this, changing the whole tone of the conversation. "We're both kind of hopeless at this..." shaking her head. 

"What?"

"This," Jemma whispered, sitting up and placing a kiss on his lips.

***

Of course, Sofia came into the room at this time, dropping the basket of toys that she had to show Jemma, sock monkeys flying everywhere. 

"Mummy! Daddy!" her voice echoed as she ran down the stairs. "They kissed!"

Pulling apart, his breath felt warm on her face, their foreheads connecting, and a smile gracing both their faces.

Fitz moved first, drawing her into another kiss.

When they broke apart that second time, he finally spoke. "I used to think that the cosmos hated us, never wanting us to be happy, together or not...

"Damn the cosmos, Leopold Fitz, for I love you and the stars have to accept that."

He laughed, shaking his head and placing a lose strand of her hair behind her ear. "I'm just glad you're okay."

She nodded, settling back down on her chest and staring up at her wall. "When I was home for the holidays, I use to stare up at this ceiling and dream about you. A life with you. Full of adventure, full of laughter, full of love. Me and you together, in Perthshire. With a young daughter, called Peggy obviously."

"Perthshire's in Scotland," Fitz interrupted, realising got the first time just how much, and for how long, that Jemma had loved him. 

Jemma sighed. "There was a cottage that I passed, when I was younger, and I feel in love with it, completely surrounded by nature and had plants everywhere. It was so full of colour. I loved it and wanted to spend the rest of my life there with someone I loved. I didn't think that it would be possible... until I met you."

"Then lets do it," Fitz said, stroking her hair. "When you're better obviously and we have..."

"Are you proposing to me?" Jemma asked, interrupting his idea. 

"What would you say if I said yes?"

"Yes. I would say yes, let's do it."