Chapter Text
Larissa Weems stared down at the young Addams. She was far too much like her parents, obnoxious, inconsiderate, and entirely too much trouble. The woman had roomed with her mother after all, she would know. While Larissa’s relationship with her mother had been, complicated, it left her sure of one thing, the Frump women, and Addams by extension, did not care for anything other than themselves.
“Well it seems, Miss Addams, that your parents will not be attending this meeting.” The woman sighed, thoroughly exhausted. The Addams were supposed to be here, dealing with the latest mischief their daughter had gotten into, instead they were-
“No doubt they’re all over each other in some public venue.” The little goth quipped. Larissa bit back a smile, the girl was occasionally charming, even if she refused to admit it. She was about to dismiss her when the door opened, revealing a woman striding into the room with the secretary hot on her heels.
“Excuse me, this is a private meeting-“ the headmistress stood, staring at the intruder. She wore dark sunglasses, covering most of her face, had extremely wild and curly red hair, with what seemed to be small blue flowers in it. She wore a floorlength dark blue chiffon and silk skirt, black opera length leather gloves, and a black turtleneck, covering almost every inch of her skin.
“Wednesday, do forgive your parents, they are, as they are, but when your mother informed me you would be having an academic meeting while they were doing whatever the hell it is they do in Romania, I supposed you might as well have someone on your side.” You sighed. Wednesday turned, looking up at you. Much to Larissa’s surprise, she almost seemed to, not frown.
“I’m sorry but exactly who are-“ she began, as the braided girl stepped over to you.
“Auntie Ophelia.” She almost smiled. You pushed your sunglasses up, winking at the girl as you walked towards the principal’s desk.
“Do forgive me for not introducing myself, I am Wednesday’s aunt, Ophelia, it’s a pleasure to meet you, Miss Weems, is it?” You sighed, standing in front of the desk with a smile. Larissa’s eyes widened slightly. You looked a bit like Morticia, if she had life behind her eyes. Yours were a piercing gray as opposed to her deep, almost black. Your hair was thick, like hers, but wild, the red curls falling all about your head and shoulders. Your lips were slightly fuller, your face less severe, your bodies were similar, she supposed, not that she had a good look at yours underneath all that you wore. She recovered quickly, smiling and extending her hand.
“Larissa Weems, a pleasure to meet you. I wasn’t aware Morticia had a sister.” She breathed with a smile, and you nodded, smiling back sardonically.
“Forgive me, I don’t shake hands, and yes, Morticia does have a sister. I’m sure she didn’t deem it necessary to mention during all your years together, she was always rather, touchy, about certain family matters.” You smiled, and Larissa knitted her brows, how odd, even for Morticia. “She did speak about you though, it’s a pleasure to meet her famous roommate.” You chuckled, and Wednesday scoffed beside you.
“Mother doesn’t like that Auntie Ophelia is infinately more complex and creative than her stale housewife imitation will ever be.” The girl deadpanned. You raised a brow at her.
“Be kind to your mother, she loves you.” You said, only for the girl to sit in the seat next to you.
“If she had any sort of care for me, she would be here, not you.” She replied. Larissa watched as you sat next to the girl, taking her hand through the gloves you wore.
“Yes well, she is, as she is, and I will do my very best, my dear. She does love you, she simply, may not understand all of you.” You tried. The girl ignored you, blinking at her headmistress.
“Well then, I am sure you’re aware ideally Wednesday’s parents would be here, but given the rather, atypical, approach they have-“ the woman began politely, only for Wednesday to once again cut her off.
“They don’t show up. We get it.” She said. You sighed.
“Wednesday, beleive me when I say I have read enough letters about this woman to know you might as well respect her.” You sighed, pinching your temples with your free hand. You swallowed, looking to the woman as Wednesday looked at you curiously. “What is she struggling in, Miss Weems?” You asked politely as the woman stared at you, her brows slightly furrowed at the comment. How was it Morticia had never mentioned you, your mere presence seemed to overpower the room, and you seemed to know at least something about her.
She swallowed, Morticia and her had done more than their share of things together, and for some reason the idea of you knowing about her less than charming moments was mildly mortifying. She took a breath, taking control of herself. She watched as Wednesday glared at you before toying with your glove, slowly easing the leather off. You seemed to slightly bristle at the action, but allowed it.
“Well given the situation and what Wednesday has been through recently, it’s hardly a surprise, however given her previous success in the class I’m shocked that she seems to have lost interest…” the woman trailed for a moment, her eyes catching your hand being revealed. You had the same pale skin as Morticia, yet the tips of your fingers were blackened, almost. It looked as if they had been dipped into ink again and again, leaving the tips and nails dark as night, slowly fading into the pale skin around your knuckles. If you noticed her staring, you didn’t comment, and the woman quickly recovered herself. She was staring like a child, the thought mortifying her as she realized. “Granted our teacher was unfortunately, involved,-“ she began.
“I killed her.” Wednesday said. You sighed, slowly closing your eyes.
“Murder, child, is a terrible answer.” You breathed.
“She was controlling a Hyde and using it to kill people, before she tried to wipe the school from the face of the earth by summoning-“ you shook your head.
“Crackstone, yes, I know, I read your letter.” You cut her off. She disinterestedly went back to playing with your fingers, the behavior confusing the headmistress, she had never seen her so, at peace, before. It was almost frightening.
“Yes, well, we have been working on finding a new full time botany professor, however Wednesday here seems to not even attend classes-“ she was cut off as a sprig of dark purple flowers seemed to suddenly sprout from your open hand.
“Wednesday Addams you are failing botany!” You nearly yelled, shocking the woman. The girl jumped, pushing the flowers out of her face. You sighed, producing a dagger from what must have been a hidden pocket in your dress and cutting them from your hand. Larissa gaped as the action revealed a few droplets of blood from where they had been cut. You took a handkerchief, dabbing your hand before quickly putting your glove back on, glaring at your neice.
“Petunias, you must be angry.” She murmured. You raised your brows.
“Botany! Botany! Now I know I’ve taught you well enough you might as well teach a botany class, so you had better have an explanation.” You glared. Larissa was staring at you in mild shock, she had never seen something like that before, in all her years teaching, and she certainly hadn’t as a student. It was incredible. Her breath caught as Wednesday gathered the beautiful flowers, holding them close as you stood, tapping your foot impatiently.
“Precisely, which is why you should be teaching it.” The girl replied. Your brows shot up, staring at her.
“Excuse me?” You asked. Wednesday looked at you, going to the fire and dumping the flowers in, Larissa reached out, her breath catching as the beautiful things were caught up in flame, gone in an instant. They were the most gorgeous petunias she had ever seen, it was almost tragic. You caught her moving, and looked to see her outstretched hand and parted lips. Her eyes looked saddened as she watched them burn. You stared at her for a moment, watching her. She sighed, closing her lips and glaring at the girl for a moment before she realized you were watching her.
“Oh, forgive me, I simply thought they were rather lovely.” She said quickly. You tilted your head, looking at the woman. That was not the normal reaction. Your family disapproved of your penchant for eccentric and pretty things, Morticia going so far as to call them ‘a waste of an outcast ability.’ You stared for a moment. She was certainly striking, but she held a certain ethereal sort of beauty about her that mesmerized you for a moment, almost enchanting you.
“Do you have a vase?” You asked softly. Her eyes snapped to yours.
“Oh you certainly don’t have to-“ she began, but you smiled gently.
“It would be my pleasure.” You said. She blushed. You were odd, it seemed, but she found herself immediately standing and retrieving a glass vase from a cabinet, setting it on her desk as you spoke to Wednesday. “My dear, if you miss me all you have to do is write, or call, I know you have a phone now, or crystal ball if you so detest using modern electronics.” You smiled. She shook her head.
“Nevermore needs a new botany teacher, you could do it.” She said, you sighed, shaking your head.
“Darling, there is a reason your mother went here and I did not.” You said, and this time Larissa looked at you with much more interest.
“You have a masters, don’t you?” Wednesday added. You chuckled.
“Dear, I have my doctorate. However you know as well as I do that not all outcasts appreciate certain eccentricities. Not to mention the fact that I haven’t taught in over a year.” You said. You walked calmly to the girl, resting your hand on her shoulder, looking at the fire with her.
“You could.” She said again. You shook your head.
“I could, that does not mean I will or I should.” You said softly.
“Mother is wrong you know.” She said, and you furrowed your brows, looking at her. “You’re not the disappointment, and the only reason grandma sent you to France was because mother begged her to-“ you cut the girl off.
“Wednesday, enough.” You said firmly, and she clenched her jaw. “You cannot fail a class to prove a point to your mother, believe me, it won’t work.” You sighed, and the girl looked at you.
“Leave your resume with Headmistress Weems and I will be top of the class again.” She argued. You sighed tiredly. You knew once the girl got an idea in her head it was better to just go with it, yet you were already tired from traveling all day.
“I don’t even have a copy with me.” You replied. She produced one from her bag, handing it to you.
“I do.” She said, and you rolled your eyes.
“Of course you do.” You sighed, taking it. She smirked, walking over to the principal’s desk and producing a stack of papers from her bag. “Oh sweet mother of god.” You sighed, watching her. She continued until a few good stacks had been arranged on the desk as the headmistress raised her brow.
“My aunt had a doctorate in botany from the University of Edinburg and has taught and published in Zurich, Cambridge, Amsterdam, Strasburg, and Aix-Marsaille.” She said calmly. “These are her most awarded dissertations.” She said before walking to you, kissing your cheek and leaving, shutting the door behind her. You sighed, walking to the Headmistress and looking over what she had laid out.
“Forgive my neice, I’m sure you’re aware of how she can be when she gets an idea.” You sighed, and the woman furrowed her brows, taking the resume from you and reading it.
“My goodness, you certainly are quite accomplished, for someone so young too.” She breathed, and you laughed.
“Well I appreciate the compliment, Miss Weems, but I could certainly say the same for you.” You leaned in slightly, a conspiratorial smile on your face. “And we happen to be the same age, madam, Morticia is my twin.” You said, leaving the woman in shock, Morticia not only had a sister, but a twin! That she never mentioned! Even after living together for years! You sighed, leaning back and staring at the woman for a moment, she looked up from your resume, not sure what to say as she felt the power of your eyes practically digging into her.
You seemed to take in every detail, almost memorizing her. Your eyes tracer her hair, her nose, her lips, not a detail left unencountered, it made the woman shiver. You slipped off your glove again, raising your hand slightly and allowing three flowers to slowly grow from your palm. The woman watched in amazement as three white flowers slowly bloomed, revealing deep red centers. She blushed as she realized you had matched her pale countenance and red lips.
“A beauty for a beauty.” You smiled, this time plucking the three from your hand. They seemed to detach somewhat easily, but left three small wounds in their place, bleeding mildly.
“Goodness, you shouldn’t have!” She started, quickly gathering a tissue and leaning over the desk to press it to your hand. You snapped back, instantly moving out of her reach, and she pulled away, her eyes widening.
“Forgive me miss Frump, I wasn’t thinking.” She rushed, and you just shook your head.
“It’s perfectly alright, and as for the blood, I’m quite used to it, it barely feels like a pinprick.” you said softly, taking your handkerchief and once again dabbing the blood away before pulling your glove back on. You placed the three flowers in the vase, not saying a word as you arranged them slightly.
“Still, I am horrified I caused the guardian of a student any pain at all, let alone one so talented.” She breathed. You stopped, looking at her. She had called you talented. Of course you knew that you were, you had proven it time and time again, yet the compliment left a flush on your cheeks. You smiled, looking at your hand.
“My sister never mentioned her roommate was so charming.” You tried to cover, and the woman’s eyes widened a fraction.
“Well Miss Frump-“ she began, but you cut her off.
“Florere.” You corrected.
“Pardon?” She asked, furrowing her brows.
“My surname, it’s Florere.” You said calmly. The headmistress nodded.
“Yes, forgive me, I didn’t know you were married.” She smiled. This one was different. It was fake. Clearly fake. She didn’t even want to fake one, it seemed. You shook your head.
“I’m not.” You replied calmly. She cringed slightly at her mistake.
“Goodness, I seem to keep putting my foot in my mouth, please forgive me Miss Florere.” She sighed, pinching the bridge of her nose. You shook your head.
“You’re quite alright. My family disowned me when I was sixteen, we’re all on good terms now, however I have kept the name I chose for myself, even if it is rather on the nose.” You chuckled. She blinked at you, a touch of sadness in her eyes before she quickly wiped it away. “That would be why Morticia likely never spoke of me, our father would have never approved, however I never heard anything but lovely things about you in her letters.” You chuckled. The woman furrowed her brows.
“Really? I can’t imagine why they would have.” She breathed, before freezing. What was it about you that had her head spinning! She couldn’t get ahold of herself! She went red as she stared at you in mortification once more, and you smiled.
“It’s quite all right, you’re a friend of Morticia’s, I hardly mind. Not to mention the knowledge is hardly private.” You breathed. “However I have known the children since they were born. I tutored Wednesday when she was young, in botany more than anything.” You chuckled. “I will be in the states for the time being, if she has any other issues. I’ll give you my number if her mother can’t be reached, Morticia is- Morticia.” You sighed, and the woman chuckled, handing you a pen.
“If you’re staying, perhaps Wednesday’s idea isn’t completely without merit.” She smiled good naturedly, defending the girl. You bit your lip, staring at the resume you were about to write on for a moment. You sighed, shaking your head. The woman watched you as you seemed to struggle.
“Miss Florere, is everything alright?” She asked. You chewed on your lip for a moment, thinking.
“If you truly do need a substitute, for the time being, you can call, that is if you’re interested, of course. I would hate to see children miss out on such a fascinating wonder of the world simply because there isn’t anyone around at the moment.” You sighed. She watched as you scribbled down your number.
“Well the offer is certainly appreciated, however I’m sure you’re aware you’re massively overqualified.” She breathed, her eyes widening. You had to be, even a glance at your resume told her you put any other candidate she might come across to shame. You chuckled.
“I enjoy teaching, but of course it is just an offer.” You smiled softly. Larissa stared at you for a moment, looking at you closely. You were beautiful, that much was clear, and incredibly brilliant it seemed. “I’m afraid I do need to get settled in a hotel in town, though, I’ve been traveling all day and even I get tired from time to time.” You smiled. “I look forward to seeing you again, Miss Weems, whatever you next have me here for.” You smiled, tipping your head slightly in lieu of a handshake. She swallowed.
“Yes, Miss Florere, as do I.” She breathed, and you were gone.
She sat in her study that night, a glass of wine in her hand as she poured over paperwork as always. She had been considering your offer, it was a generous one, no doubt. Yet she didn’t know you, and with how things had been left with Morticia… She faltered. Yet you weren’t like your sister, almost at all, it seemed. You were your own creature entirely. She looked to the flowers you had given her, she had filled the vase with water as soon as you had left, carefully touching the flowers as if they were made of glass. They were gorgeous, even more stunning then the peonies had been. She swallowed as she looked at them, thinking for a moment. She had a few more candidates for substitutes to look at, the current one would be leaving by the end of the week. However, perhaps she would give you a call.
…
By the next evening, she had found herself driving out to the liquor store, having drained the last of her reserves ruminating on your offer. She groaned slightly as she extricated herself from the car, walking into the store and selecting a few reds and a bourbon before paying the man at the counter and heading back to her car. It was late, just before midnight, she had been working until she realized she had nothing to end her day with. Her feet were becoming sore from her heels, and she tiredly made her way back to her car.
What she found, however, was six men surrounding the vehicle, two with bats, one with a crowbar, and others with various tools of destruction. She swallowed as she looked at the normie men eyeing the Nevermore crest on the car, stiffening as they noticed her. One of them turned towards her, swinging his bat with a smirk.
“Hey, it’s the tall bitch.” He said, a smirk on his face sending a chill through her. They were just men, she reminded herself. They weren’t even in shape, and certainly not in any shape to fight if the scattered beer cans were any indication, yet the sheer number of them had her heart racing. Tensions had been high with the town after the Hyde incident, but violence, it hadn’t escalated that far yet. She swallowed.
“Good evening gentleman.” She said, her voice tight as she got out her keys from her pocket. She looked back at the liquor store, the shopkeeper was closing up, and he was far from paying attention to them. “I’ll just be heading back to the school then.” She swallowed, taking a few brisk steps before one of them stepped up to her. He was certainly shorter, but he pressed himself against her anyway, the alcohol on his breath reeling from him.
She struggled, ignoring his laugh as the rest of them moved in, all with intentions that certainly were far from friendly. One of them reached out for her, and she slammed her eyes shut, preparing for the worst.
“Gentleman!” She heard a voice boom suddenly, and gasped as she watched the men shift their attention from her to- a familiar red headed figure. “This hardly seems like the proper way to treat a fine lady.” You said calmly, walking easily towards her.
“Well missy, that certainly ain’t no lady if ya know what I mean.” One of them laughed. You smiled almost threateningly, glancing to her for a moment as her eyes went wide in fear. What we’re you doing, why were you even here?
“Why, because she’s not like you?” You asked calmly, taking a step closer. She watched as you slowly removed the leather gloves your still wore, tucking them into the waistband of your trousers.
“She’s a fuckin freak, is what she is.” One of them hollared. She flinched, and you stepped closer, and closer, until you were just a few steps away from all of them.
“Odd, I would have thought the freaks would be the alcoholic degenerates drunk off their asses on a Wednesday night harassing a woman walking alone, but I suppose that’s just my opinion.” You shrugged. Larissa’s eyes nearly bugged out of her skull. Were you trying to get yourself killed?
“The fuck did you say, bitch?” One of them grunted, moving towards you. You smiled cooly.
“Let the lady go.” You said calmly, and for some reason the woman was certain you meant it. Yet what could you do? You could make pretty flowers, but what the hell were you thinking? What could you possibly do? One of them spat at you, and you flinched, taking your handkerchief and wiping it off your blouse. “Lovely. Now fuck off.” You chipped.
“Miss Florere,” Larissa protested, and you shook your head, still staring at the closest man. He growled, raising his fist as Larissa screamed. You looked at her as he started towards you, her eyes wide in horror. You just smiled.
“Hold your breath, Miss Weems.” You said, and she looked at you confused before you raised your hands, lifting them palm up in front of your face. Her eyes went wide as you blew them off, small pollen-like particles scattering from them. She gasped in shock, inhaling a few on accident before she clamped her mouth shut. They smelled sweet, and beautiful. The scent evoked pure bliss for a moment before she started to feel lightheaded. She clutched her head as the word began to spin, and suddenly, everything was black.
Chapter 2: Observance
Summary:
Larissa wakes you find you watching over her diligently, and feels perhaps it wouldn’t be a bad choice to have you around after seeing you do the same for a student.
Notes:
Hello! I did not expect to receive such a reaction from this but I am very pleasantly surprised! I will definitely be continuing it, and I cannot wait to see what you all think!
It has also been brought to my attention that another fic is currently capping most of the plot I wrote for the first chapter, and while I hope it doesn’t continue, I would just like to say I wrote this completely from my own mind in addition to releasing it a day before the other fic was uploaded.
I hope to hear from you all! I love your comments and they absolutely motivate me to keep writing! I respond to each and every one, and they always make my day.
I hope you enjoy,
-V
Chapter Text
Larissa groaned as she woke up, her head was pounding. She reached for her temples as it all came suddenly rushing back to her. The liquor store, the men, you. She gasped, opening her eyes in a panic only to find herself laying on a couch in her office, perfectly safe. You were sitting on a chair adjacent to her head, intensely watching the fireplace. She looked at you, you were waiting, anxious. Your face was open, honest. Your fingers flitted over your lips in an anxious gesture, one that caught her eye. Her own breath hitched as you bit your lip, as the worry on your face revealed something, care. You cared. heaven knows why, but you did. And you showed it, unlike your sister ever would have. You turned to her at the sound, smiling in releif.
“Thank goodness you’re awake, are you alright, Miss Weems?” You asked her tenderly. You stood, walking to her and examining her closely. Her breath hitched as you invaded her space, searching her eyes for something it seemed. She startled as your hand gently found it’s way to her jaw, your thumb resting on her lips as you pulled them open, looking in her mouth. She found her heart pounding at the intimacy of the situation, your hands bringing back memories of your sister she thought she had buried. Yet where Morticia’s touch had been insistent and demanding, your leather-clad hands were soft, caring. You shared a sense of warmth, even through your gloves.
“Would you stick your tongue out for me?” You asked, and she swallowed, opening her mouth more and doing as you asked, a flush covering her face, neck, and chest as she did so. The tension seemed to fade from your brow as you observed her, relieved at whatever you had discovered. You sighed, pulling away and going to her desk, where a tray of tea had been set. She watched as you removed your glove again, sprouting small, yellow flowers this time before plucking them and placing them into a teacup, filling it with hot water before adding honey. You replaced your glove before you brought it to her, handing her the cup gently with a slight shake of your head.
“That should help with the headache. I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to dose you.” You breathed, and she sat up slowly, her head starting to spin. You were by her side in a moment, a steady hand helping ease her up to sitting slowly. “Careful, even with just a dusting Oleander is one hell of a knockout.” You said softly, and her eyes widened. “I didn’t kill them, if that’s what your thinking. The variation I use for that trick is only enough to knock someone out, but it still isn’t pleasant.” You said calmly, sitting adjacent to her again. She sipped the tea, sighing as the sweet taste seemed to relieve her almost instantly, a small smile worked its way onto your face at helping the woman, one she caught when she looked at you. She stared for a moment, almost in shock as she tried to put the pieces together. You sighed. “Ask.” You gestured, and the woman swallowed, looking away.
“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to stare.” She said, and you shook your head.
“Ask all you want, Miss Weems, please.” You said softly, and her breath caught when she looked to you again, evaluating for a moment.
“How did we get here?” She asked, and you nodded.
“I carried you back to the car, drove it to the school, and brought you here.” You said easily. Her jaw slackened a little, you had carried her? You said nothing, simply waiting for the next question.
“What happened to the men?” She asked. You shrugged.
“They should be waking up in a few hours, they will be fine, but I doubt they’ll try that again.” You smiled a little to yourself. She swallowed, but nodded again.
“I- how?” She breathed. You sighed, nodding.
“There you go.” You whispered, and Larissa’s heart picked up a bit. You had been waiting for her to ask. “My abilities are a few, however I can grow any plant, or any part of a plant, pollen in this case, from my hands. Studying botany and genetics has enabled me to modify them and use them as I wish, in this case, to temporarily knock out the men who assaulted you.” You grimaced. She blinked at you for a moment. “Not nearly as interesting as my sister’s visions, I’m afraid, however-“
“That’s incredible.” She breathed. Your eyes widened a touch. “You can just- anything?” She asked you, and you chuckled, nodding.
“Anything.” You smiled. “I used to leave my favorite professors apples sometimes.” You chuckled, and her eyes lit up in amazement.
“If they tasted as good as your flowers look, I’m sure you were their favorite too.” She breathed. You blushed for a moment, looking away. She saw the little flowers in your hair seem to bloom, in shades of white this time, forming an almost ethereal dusting atop the crown of your head. “Beautiful.” She whispered, and you looked at her in confusion until you realized what she was staring at.
“Ah yes, those too. Although those tend to be very small flowers.” You said, and she looked at them in amazement. You smiled, reaching up and plucking one from your scalp, handing her the tiny flower, no bigger than a fingernail, and she smiled, looking at it in wonder.
“I’ve never seen anything like this.” She breathed, and you smiled.
“You’re kind, thank you.” You said softly. She looked at the small flower in amazement, it really was beautiful, even if it was tiny. Intricate, you were intricate. So different from your sister, she thought to herself. Morticia had made her feel, less than, used, but you, you gave her your full attention and care after just meeting her, the difference was striking.
She remembered something. Gomez giving Morticia flowers, red roses, on their first official date. Larissa had thought it was romantic, even if she hated the boy for having what she could never have. Morticia had looked at them in distain and cut the blooms off with no hesitation, she had always seemed to hate flowers, the comparison striking the headmistress suddenly.
“Tish hated flowers.” She murmured to herself, before looking up at you wide-eyed. She hadn’t meant to say that aloud. You grimaced, but nodded before looking at her with compassion. You were so expressive.
“You’re still a bit prone to influence and- its like being high.” You cut yourself off, shaking your head.
“I’m sorry- I didn’t mean-“ the woman rushed, but you simply shook your head again.
“It’s alright, she doesn’t like them.” You said calmly. “And yes, I am largely the reason.” You admitted. The blonde furrowed her brows.
“I don’t understand.” She said, and you laughed a little.
“It’s alright. I don’t always understand either. Tish is, headstrong, she can be very set in her ways about certain things.” You sighed, shaking your head. You uncrossed and recrossed your legs, thinking. “She doesn’t like the senseless beauty, she thinks them a waste. And an annoying reminder I exist.” You joked. “She likes thorns though, the pain. Even when we were children she enjoyed watching me grow things to rip them from my hands. She liked the blood, I believe. Even if she didn’t like the product.” You explained as gently as you could. The woman nearly gaped at you.
“But they’re gorgeous, even Tish has to be able to see that!” She protested. Your eyes flashed to her, a small smile forming on your face as she blushed at her outburst.
“Thank you, but I’m sure you’re as well aware as I am that Morticia’s sense of beauty is not exactly the same as others.” You sighed. You watched her closely, looking for any sign of discomfort or a reaction. You knew the woman was a shapeshifter, you wouldn’t use certain plants around any outcasts, but you still internally held your breath as you waited until she was feeling better. She flushed slightly under your attention, the intensity of your eyes, and you stood, moving forward and sitting next to her to look for any other indications.
You kneeled on the couch next to her, putting your head slightly above hers as you looked at her intensely. Her breath caught as you moved closer, so close she could practically feel the warmth radiating from you. You leaned in and her eyes widened, she had no idea what you were about to do. She could smell you, you smelled like flowers and petrichor, earthy yet wild, with something distinctly beautiful, yet dangerous to you. You leaned in, and she could see the flecks of silver in your grey eyes, shining as you looked at her.
“Any discomfort?” You asked quietly, your hands slipping around her jaw to shift her to look up at you. She flushed deeper as your other hand cradled her neck, supporting her as you looked into her eyes a moment more.
“N-no.” She stuttered. She wasn’t used to this, holding attention like this. You were so incredibly close, it made her dizzy. You were so focused on her, everything about you seemed to be trained on her at the moment, looking for something, anything in her. You leaned in even closer, tilting your head to the side, her heart nearly stopped. You dropped your head, turning towards the joint of her neck. You breathed in deeply, and the woman braced her arms on the back of the couch, panting as your lips nearly grazed her neck. “M-Miss Fl-“ She stuttered, only for you to cut her off.
“You’re flushed.” You said, concern lacing your voice. The woman wanted to scream, of course she was, you were practically on her lap. She hated the way you reminded her of Morticia, but she reveled in the difference. You were warm, caring, Morticia was always detatched.
“You’re very close.” She breathed, her heart racing, and you seemed to snap out of it. Your eyes went wide as you froze, your entire body tensing.
“I- please forgive me.” You said, instantly pulling away. She almost mourned the loss, something about it felt so good, she didn’t understand. “I was just concerned you may be experiencing any side effects,” you rushed, standing and moving about the room. Larissa’s breath heaved as she watched you, your flittering from thing to thing almost charming. Her head swam, just a second of your closeness had her nearly panting.
“One of them is- if you smell like Oleander, then we would have an issue.” You said quietly, almost fidgeting with your hands. She could tell you were uncomfortable, yet the gloves remained on. The woman looked at you for a moment, before she blanched.
“You were smelling me!” She protested. She had been working all day, not to mention the incident at the store. You chuckled, shaking your head.
“Nothing to worry about, you don’t smell like it. If you must know, I can smell the soap you use, roses fit you well.” You smirked, before realizing your comment and sighing deeply. “Merde. (Shit.)” You breathed, and the woman stared at you in shock. You were about to apologize when the door burst open, revealing a familiar braided girl.
Larissa looked mortified at her state, and you quickly stepped between them, walking to the door and placing a hand on it, preventing Wednesday from seeing the woman draped on the couch in exhaustion.
“Auntie Ophelia! You’re here.” She said. You nodded.
“Yes darling, however I’m meeting with the Headmistress at the moment, can this wait for another time?” You asked her. She shook her head.
“My friend, Enid. One of the normie kids got her. She’s a werewolf, he gave her wolfsbane.” She rushed, the concern the young girl held, not to mention admitting she had a friend, struck you. You swallowed and nodded.
“Where is she?” You asked, only to see a boy behind her coming up, carrying a young blonde in his arms. “Alright.” You said easily, taking the girl from him.
“I’m staying with her.” Wednesday told you, and you raised a brow. “I am.” She set her jaw, and you nodded.
“Thank you for bringing her.” You said to the young man, before ushering Wednesday inside and closing the door with your foot. You rushed to a chair, pulling the girl on your lap and ripping off your gloves. She was out of it, her breathing labored. You checked her pulse, thready, but certainly still there. The headmistress attempted to spring up, only to be overcome by a wave of dizziness. You looked at her, pinning her in place.
“Don’t move. I will take care of this, you SIT.” You commanded, and her eyes went wide at the sudden shift in you. You lifted the girl again, moving over to the fire and sitting with her next to it. She groaned as you did so, and you began to dust her face with pollen, falling from one of your hands. “I know sweetheart, I know it hurts, I’m sorry, it’s going to be alright.” You breathed. “Any idea what color?” You asked Wednesday.
“The normal, purple, I think.” She said. You nodded.
“Mortar and pestle, hot water, and a towel.” You said, and Wednesday set to work without hesitation. Larissa watched in shock as you began growing flowers with one hand as you continued raining pollen down with your other. Wednesday went to you, hesitating as she saw both your hands were occupied.
“Pull it, it’s alright.” You said calmly, and Larissa watched as Wednesday pulled the flowers from your hand, blood droplets splattering in front of the fire. “Alright, hang on dear.” You breathed, using one hand to separate the seeds from the flowers and quickly place them in the mortar and pestle before Wednesday began to grind them into powder. You simply rocked the girl back and forth, humming lightly. Larissa watched in amazement as calm set about your face, you were careful, precise, you had done this before. “A bit of water as a carrier, Wednesday.” You said, and the girl did as you instructed, quickly pouring some water from the tea set you had brought into the mortar bowl, before handing it to you.
You stopped your dusting, and the girl took a ragged, difficult breath. She whined out and you grimaced. “I know, I’m sorry, I need you to drink this for me, alright? It will feel better soon.” You promised, and the girl looked to you in desperation as you slowly poured the bowl into her mouth. She took it, drinking as best she could with her throat nearly closing up. “Good girl, very good.” You hushed, and you watched as her breathing became slightly easier before she slowly slipped back into sleep. Wednesday looked to you, waiting for your appraisal. You sighed, taking the back of your hand and feeling the girl for a temperature, it was cooling. You sighed in relief.
“She’ll be alright, but she needs rest, and to take it easy for a few days, a week maybe.” You sighed, cradling the girl close. “And to be kept warm, near a fire is best.” You added, and Wednesday nodded.
“Thank you.” She breathed, and you looked up at the girl standing next to you.
“Always darling, you don’t need to thank me for something like this. I’ll keep her with me tonight, go get some rest.” You said.
“I want to stay-“ she protested, but you shook your head.
“Rest. You need it too, unfortunately.” You commanded, and the girl glared, but looked at you and her friend. She was safe. Her aunt had her, Enid would be fine.
“Fine.” The girl grunted, and you nodded as she began to leave.
“Wednesday, would you move a chair to the fire first, please?” You asked her, and the girl did as you asked, before quickly leaving, not even sparing the headmistress more than a glance as she focused on her friend. You sighed, easing the girl to the floor as you stood, putting the towel under her head before pulling on your gloves and making your way to the woman. She looked up at you in amazement, and at the girl in fear.
“It’s alright, she’ll be alright, and you can watch everything I do from there.” You sighed, nodding to the chair. Larissa’s face softened slightly as she realized that’s why you had asked Wednesday to move the chair, so that the headmistress could watch over her student with you. You offered her a hand, bracing the woman easily. “Careful.” You warned, and she nodded, slowly easing herself up with your support. The room spun, but you held her, easily walking her step by step to the chair, until she had sat comfortably. You brought her tea again before settling on the floor, once again pulling Enid into your lap.
“I can get you a chair,” Larissa protested, and you fixed her with a raised brow.
“No, you can’t, and I am perfectly comfortable on the ground.” You smiled amusedly. She huffed, displeased at the development. She watched you with Enid for a moment, your gloved hands slipping over the girl’s face and hair, holding her gently.
“You’re good with children.” She noted, and you nodded.
“Yes.” You said.
“Would you truly take up a position here, just while we search for a full time professor?” She asked you. You hummed, thinking for a moment.
“I think I would like to, actually. I don’t like- I don’t like that this town seems so hostile towards you, towards your students. Even if my particular abilities are not always accepted even in our community, this” you nodded to Enid. “Should not happen again. As long as my niece is here I quite frankly would prefer to stay, god knows that girl can get herself into trouble.” You breathed tiredly. Larissa shook her head tiredly at the statement.
“That she certainly does.” The woman agreed. You hummed.
“If you’re offering, yes, I would take the position.” You said calmly, your attention still on the girl in your lap. Larissa hesitated for a moment. It was unorthodox, certainly, yet she had a feeling it was good. If she was correct perhaps your presence at the school would be a positive impact.
“Answer me one thing, then.” She hummed. You stiffened slightly, but nodded. “Why did you not attend Nevermore when your sister did?” She asked you. You sighed, the sound holding a bit too much sorrow for the headmistress’s liking.
“I was not permitted.” You hummed. “My parents thought it best for Morticia if I attended school elsewhere, far, elsewhere.” You sighed. “I was sent to France at eleven, then Switzerland for a while. I would occasionally come home for the summer, however I’m sure you can understand that I am an oddity amongst the Frumps. We are all on very good terms now, clearly, however it was not always the case.” You explained. Larissa stared at you for a moment, her eyes wide. They were embarrassed of you. How could they be embarrassed of something as beautiful as you? Goodness, she was high.
“You couldn’t attend simply because your sister wanted to,” she muttered, and you nodded your head.
“Yes, that would be the reason.” You said calmly. The woman looked to you sadly. You almost seemed alright with it.
“Yet you would take the position?” She asked you, and you nodded.
“I would like to offer it to you then, temporarily, while we find a new permanent teacher.” She said, and you chuckled, shaking your head.
“Offer it to me when you are sober, my dear.” You laughed, turning to look at her with mirth in your eyes. God, they really were nothing like Morticia’s.
“I-“ She stuttered, and you shook your head.
“It’s entirely unfair of me to agree and bind you while you are intoxicated, especially by my own creation, if you offer it again when you are sober, then I will accept.” You smiled, and her eyes went far away for a moment. So different. Morticia, years into their own on and off relationship, even if it could be called that, would hypnotize her, intoxicate her, anything. She had always given consent while sober, but Morticia would alter her mind until she agreed to anything. Anything. Even being a secret. She swallowed, the haze in her eyes developing into shame.
“Your sister would.” She whispered, and you stiffened. You stared at her for a moment, watching the memory clear.
“I’m sorry.” You breathed, and Larissa’s eyes snapped to you own, startled by your presence. “It will stop soon, I’m sorry, it has that effect.” You swallowed. “And whatever my sister did to you to drag up a memory like that, whatever it was that darkened you like that, I am sorry.” You breathed, shaking your head. “She doesn’t always understand- she should. She should understand that principle, her of all people.” You gritted. You shook your head again, clearing it. “God, she should have- if I had known she would- ooh I’m going to strangle her.” You sighed, exhausted. How your sister could ever use her abilities like that, your abilities like that, it horrified you. You were filled with rage for the woman, one you barely knew.
“Tich and I can both ensnare people, if we choose to, but you should know that it is a choice, Miss Weems. One I make adamantly not to do.” You said, staring at the girl in your arms. “There are consequences to our actions. No matter how small.” You said softly. Larissa stared at you again.
“You’re refreshing.” She muttered, and you chuckled.
“Comparatively? I’m a goddamn sunbeam.” You smiled, and the woman couldn’t help but let a small one cross her face. Perhaps you were.
Chapter 3: The Other Side
Summary:
Larissa learns more about the sister of her past roommate, and what exactly makes you so different from her. She also learns that Wednesday does indeed have terrible timing.
Notes:
Hello darlings! I hope you enjoy this chapter, I’m really enjoying writing them! Please let me know what you think, I absolutely love reading your comments, it makes my day every time! I hope you enjoy!!!
-V
Chapter Text
Your first day at Nevermore would undoubtedly be an eventful one. You poured over what students of each year had been learning, sitting in the middle of the greenhouse with a batch of tea, and wire rimmed glasses perched on your nose. You hummed as you looked over the materials, they were good enough, teaching wouldn’t be an issue, at least it wouldn’t be difficult in the sense that you already knew what was required.
You tittered around the greenhouse, taking off your floor length long sleeved coat and leaving you in a poet blouse, suspenders, a pair of high waisted trousers, and gloves. You smiled as you kicked off your boots, and then socks, walking around barefoot. The greenhouse had gone mostly unattended, you realized, something which you wanted to remedy quickly. Conveniently, there was a record player, and you shifted through the old collection until you found something you liked. Fleetwood Mac’s “Good Dust Woman” rang out as you went from plant to plant, looking at what they needed.
You slipped your gloves off, placing them on a table before lightly tracing your fingertips over each plant, bringing them back to life. You rolled up your sleeves, revealing the intricate white lines around and around your arms. They looked like thorny rose vines, in fact, they were scars from them. Your arms were littered in binding scars, three loops around your forearm, one around your elbow, and two around your upper arms. Reminders of what happened when you lost control. You paid no attention to them, instead shifting your focus to the plants and working from one to the next. You smiled as you did so, the greenhouse slowly returning to beauty.
You lost yourself in your work and the music, dancing around as you worked. Your hips swayed as your palms held blooming roses, dahlias, lilies, not to mention the various herbs and much wilder plants about. You smiled as you stomped your feet to the beat, bringing forth vines from the ground, slowly growing along the edges of the glass ceiling. You wove them together, creating intricate lattices with just a flick of your finger, a glance, or a thought. They obeyed you without question, as easy as breathing.
You hummed to yourself as you heard someone approaching, no one knew you were here yet, so you knew who it would be. You closed your eyes, lifting your arms and making the vines bloom roses in white, red, and black. The three colors mixed together beautifully, creating pillars of colors reaching towards and crossing the glass dome. You didn’t open your eyes, instead pointing to a different flower, a black dahlia you had been growing as you continued working on the plant in front of you, facing away from the door.
“I’ll give it to you in a moment darling, I’m almost done.” You sighed over the music, moving around as you then moved over to a vase filled with water, dropping a small collection of stones in it, followed by a few seeds. You hummed as your body twisted around to the music, flicking your fingers and forming beautiful lilies from the seeds. They bloomed to perfection as you danced about, smiling to yourself. You picked up the Dahlia, turning.
“Alright then my darling, this one to your room and the lilies to your headmistress if you so pl- oh!” You cried out when you turned to see Larissa standing in front of you, not your niece. You dropped the pot you were holding, the black painted thing smashing on the ground and scattering to peices. You stared up at her in shock, your lips parted and heaving as you looked up at her. Then you realized.
You turned around quickly, pulling down your sleeves and buttoning them over your wrists as fast as you could. Not fast enough, she had seen them. You went to the tables behind you, instantly grabbing a dustpan you had let out and rushing to the mess you had made, kneeling on the ground as tears threatened to overcome you. You were a grown woman for god’s sake, why were you crying over someone you barely knew seeing your silly scars.
“No- no worries, forgive me, ma’am so sorry, I’ll have- have it cleaned right up.” You rushed, your hands shaking as you pushed everything into the dustpan. You ignored the tall woman as she kneeled down in front of you, her own hands picking up a few larger pieces as she looked to you.
“Miss Florere, are you alright?” She asked you quietly. She knew something was wrong, she had seen the scars on your arms, they were subtle, but clearly there. Whatever had given them to you was upsetting, clearly. You gulped as you looked up at her.
“Yes, of course, I’m sorry, just startled, I expected my niece not-“ you were overcome as she looked at you, her cool blue eyes staring at you with worry. Her hand deposited the pot shard in the pan before she dusted it off on her skirt.
“It’s quite alright but are you sure you’re…” she trailed as she reached for your hand, trying to steady you. You were too busy looking into her eyes, you didn’t notice until her skin slid over yours. You gasped, your eyes rolling back as your head snapped back. Larissa panicked, grabbing onto you as vines seemed to sprout from your hands, wrapping around her own and up her arm. She was about to cry out when she felt it, a pulling sensation, pulling her into you. Her eyes closed as she fell into the vision with you, her body bound to yours in your vines.
Her head swam as her eyes seemed to open. She was in a garden, a much different one though. There was a young girl standing in front of her, nine maybe, with wild red hair and daisies dispersed throughout. It was you, she realized, as another girl, similar to you, but with black hair and dark eyes came running over. She carried a pair of shears pointed towards you, and you screamed as you ran, getting away from her as fast as you could. Larissa was helpless, watching you trip and fall as the other girl grabbed your arms, pinning them down.
“Stop it! Stop it Tish, please! It hurts!” You cried out, crying as she took the shears to the flowers in your hair, cutting them off.
“How are you going to be a Frump with daisies in your hair!” She yelled at you, cutting the lot off before taking them to your fingers. You screamed out as the girl held the shears above your hand, Larissa gasping in horror.
“No! No! PLEASE!” You screamed, and Larissa sobbed as she watched Morticia plunge the shears into your hand. She could almost feel it, the ghost of pain stabbed through her own palm, she could feel your fear, your pain. The betrayal you felt. You looked at her, the sound catching your attention, she met your young eyes, crying out in pain. You stilled, the vision blurring. “Why is there an angel in a nightmare?” You asked quietly, your little voice breaking, and then it went black. Larissa gasped as her body surged forward, straight into you, the real you, who was currently prying vines away from the both of you.
“Fuck, fuck, fuck, GET OFF!” You screamed, and she watched as the vines instantly shriveled, shrinking away and falling to the ground. You panted as you looked up at her, your wild eyes boring into her all of a sudden. “I’m sorry, I’m so sorry, that doesn’t normally happen.” You breathed, quickly pulling away, you went to turn, to go to the table to reach for your gloves when Larissa caught your right hand, pulling it close.
You gasped, shaking slightly as she pulled you back down, kneeling in the vines with her. She turned your palm over, looking at it, cradling it so gently you thought she was worried she may break you. She turned your palm up, gasping as she saw the small scar in the middle of it. It was real, what she had just seen, it was real.
“My god, she couldn’t!” The woman breathed, and you swallowed, staring up at her.
“I’m so sorry.” You whispered, and she shook her head, tears coming to her eyes. Morticia did this, her Tish, the woman she once loved, did this.
“To her own sister.” She breathed, shaking her head as shock haunted her face. You panicked at the sight of her tears, rising up and instantly wiping them away with your other hand, the action shocking her. Your hands, they were so gentle. She thought the blackened tips of your fingers would be cold, but no, you were warm, gentle despite the slight tremor in your hands. You shuddered, pulling away gently this time as you stood slowly, retrieving your gloves and replacing them over your hands.
“Does that- is that every time?” She asked you, and you shook your head. It didn’t happen often, in fact it almost exclusively happened with Tish, but it was possible, if others, but rare. In fact, the only way it normally happened with others was if they have been dosed with your own pollen. You swallowed, you knew how that could have happened.
“No, that is the first time it’s happened in years, actually. It’s normally quite easy to control, but the gloves help.” You muttered. She stood, towering over you as she stepped closer. “I began wearing them as Morticia found it harmful when she was exposed to my visions” you sighed, and the woman met your eyes with sorrow in hers.
She stared at you for a moment, she wanted to help, she realized. The fact that Morticia could do that to someone, to her own sister. But the fact remained that if a student saw that, it wouldn’t be good. She felt as if she needed to pull you closer, to wipe away the memory you had just resurfaced. “I-“ She stuttered, and you shook your head. The memory was traumatic, but the reason behind it had to be explained. You had more problems witch Tish than anyone, but this was not why. This particular incident, wasn’t entirely her fault. It was neither of you, actually.
“You have to understand that Morticia believed she was helping me.” You sighed, and the woman looked to you in utter shock.
“She, helping?” She asked, and you nodded. On what planet was that helping?
“We were young, very young. She saw how our parents treated me, how many people treated me, when we were that young we shared a room.” You smiled a little at the memory, it was a good one. “I used to cry at night, wishing I didn’t have the abilities I do. I wanted to be normal, like her, like my parents.” You sighed. “That day, the night before my father had threatened to send me away for the first time, they couldn’t have an oddity, even amongst outcasts, ruining their family reputation.” You scoffed, nearly rolling your eyes. “We sobbed all night, trying to find a way to fix it, the both of us begged him. We were inseparable, even if very different, but he wouldn’t listen. Tish came up with a way to keep us together. With what was in store for me, I don’t blame her.” You said softly, your hand flitting to a charm around your neck. It was familiar to the woman, she had seen it before. A small ring on a chain, however the one she had seen previously was onyx, this was an opal.
“Is that, your necklace…” she trailed, and you smiled, nodding.
“We were given matching rings as children, never took them off until we outgrew them.” You smiled again, and Larissa could see the beauty in it then, there was a sense of longing, one that threatened to break her heart. “My sister was the only one that talked to me for years. She couldn’t tell you I existed, she couldn’t talk about the ‘family scandal’” you mocked. “But she sent me a letter every week. Every week, all her years at Nevermore, wherever I was across the globe. Even now. We talk at least once a week, no matter what.” You said gently, and Larissa’s face softened. It was hard to understand, but it was clear.
“You love eachother.” She said softly, as if the idea was almost inconceivable.
“You lived with my sister for years.” You chuckled. “Of course I do, we’re sisters, but the only person that can love her AND like her is her damn husband.” You joked. The woman gave you a smile and you relaxed slightly. Your relationship was complicated for anyone to understand, she was no different, but it warmed you that she tried. She wanted to understand.
Her students, however, had to come first. “Will it happen again?” She asked you, and you swallowed, shaking your head.
“No it-“ she cut you off as she took your hand, grabbing your waist and pinning you to the table, hard. She was pressed up against you, her hips pinning you against the table. You gasped, but didn’t move, simply stared up at her, your heart pounding. She breathed out slowly, she was so close, so close you were breathing the same air.
You let her pin you, not only that but you didn’t struggle in her grip. She was so close, and your heart was pounding, but you stayed steady, slowly looking up to the woman holding you. Heaven help you she was beautiful. She was stunning, actually. The younger version of you had called her an angel, and you couldn’t blame yourself. You swallowed as you looked up into her crystal blue eyes, pinning you with more than her hands.
She took a deep breath, the way you were looking at her, it struck her. She swallowed, looking down on you unsure. She could see the slight flush on your face, the way your eyes almost darkened as she pressed into you. You could feel it too, your heart pounded in your ears as she held you, her hand wrapped around your wrist as her arm held you by the hips, her body pressing you to the table. She glanced up to your hair, and you panicked internally as you realized your flowers were blooming. Tiny pink and white flowers bloomed along your hairline, like little individual baby’s breath blooms forming in your hair. Her eyes widened as she realized it wasn’t intentional, those, those were your instinct, your emotion showing. Pink and white, almost like-
“Larissa,” you breathed, she was so close, too close.
“I’m sorry, I just wanted to-“ she began, and you shook your head. You knew what she was doing, it was obvious, but the way she went about it, you felt like you couldn’t breathe as she took all the air from the room.
“Make sure a student startling me wouldn’t do it.” You finished, and she swallowed, stepping away. It felt cold, she hated the way the cool air swept across her skin as she let you go, letting your warmth go with you.
“Yes I-, well, I hope you’ll forgive me.” She stuttered, flushing at what she had just done. You swallowed, nodding before you looked back up at her.
“There is nothing to forgive.” You breathed, and her brows furrowed. “The children’s safety comes first.” You swallowed, before turning around and bracing your arms on the table, taking deep, slow breaths. It was difficult. You seldom let people touch you, let alone that. You could feel the woman inch closer as you began to rock yourself back and forth a bit, calming down.
“I- I’m sorry, Miss Florere.” She said softly, and you chuckled despite your breathlessness. God, she killed you.
“You’ve pinned me to a table, you might as well call me Ophelia.” You tried to laugh, but the woman startled, stiffening. She knew what she did, but she had her reasons.
“Yes, well, you know why I did.” She protested, and you turned as you realized she was upset by it. She thought you were mad at her. You sighed, shaking your head and sitting yourself up on top of the table. God, why were you doing this? Why were you justifying yourself?
“Come here, please, Miss Weems.” You said softly. The woman looked at you, clearly frustrated, unsure, and with a stain of anger on her face. “Please.” You said again softly. She paused for a moment, she didn’t know what you were doing. She knew you didn’t like contact, but you were offering. You looked at her expectantly and she eventually did as you asked, stepping forward. You held out your palm, face up, offering it to her. She inhaled sharply, looking from your hand to you. You scar was there, the little line in the middle of your palm, almost beconing for her attention. Your hands too, the blackened tips, she wanted to know, she wanted to know what they felt like, what your ink-stained looking fingers would feel like against her skin. Were your nails sharp like your sisters? Cold like her own hands always were? Did the blackened parts feel different? She imagined the blackened tips leaving ink stains along her skin, black lines and handprints over everywhere you traced. They were beautiful. You were beautiful, this close she could see it. You were strange, like your sister, but you were undoubtedly beautiful.
“Is this why you don’t like to be touched?” She asked you. And you hummed. It was one of the reasons. You were aware that your scars made others even more wary of you, but the way you had been touched in the past certainly had something to do with it.
“I don’t like to be touched because not all see my gifts as such.” You said softly. The woman reached out slowly, still not certain. You nodded, encouraging her before she slowly and tentatively traced over your palm. You shivered slightly, but allowed her. You let her trace the blackened nails and fingers, the lines of your palm, your hands were warm, she realized, and strong, your hands had worked, always under your gloves, your skin was soft and warm to the touch, but she could feel the strength in them.
“They’re soft.” She whispered. You nodded, a little overwhelmed by the stunning woman regarding you with such interest. Her eyes were fixed on them. You were used to people staring at them, hell, they almost looked necrotic, something your sister loved, but most found creepy at best, and monstrous at worst. It was odd, your peculiar ability meant most didn’t understand you, many didn’t trust you or found the sheer sight of your blackened fingers to be a bad omen or a sign. Yet Larissa, she just seemed to be intrigued by them. It touched your heart, making your pulse beat faster.
“Yes.” You nodded, flexing your palm slightly and growing a single rose blossom there. She gasped in delight, smiling in amazement as she watched you grow the flower. It was beautiful, what you could do, was beautiful. You nodded to it. “Take it.” You said. “As a token of my apology.” You tried to smile. You normally wouldn’t let someone pluck something directly from you, but this was small, and you needed her to know you trusted her, you respected her. She swallowed.
“I- I don’t want to-“ she tried, and you reached for her other hand, closing it over the flower and guiding her to pluck it. It was almost warm while it was still attached to you, as if it was part of your life force. It was incredible. The petals were the softest thing she had ever felt. She swallowed and pulled up, looking to you for any sign of pain, yet you only smiled softly. She watched as a drop of blood surfaced from your palm, and quickly wiped it away with her finger, startling you. You jumped a little at the caring gesture, but didn’t pull away.
“Roses suit you.” You said again, softly. The woman blushed, finally meeting your eyes.
“You’re quite the enigma, Miss Florere.” She said. You shook your head.
“Ophelia, ma’am, call me Ophelia.” You smiled. She sucked in a breath, flushing slightly.
“Call me Larissa.” She said, and you nodded. She opened her mouth to say more, yet was interrupted, once again, by your niece storming into the building.
She jumped, taking a step back from you as Wednesday practically growled, storming in with two sabers. You rolled your eyes, hopping off the table and forward to replace your gloves. She was yelling, not even bothering to look at you, let alone notice the headmistress, by the time you had both separated fully.
“I need your help!” She huffed, and you nodded, turning to grow another dahlia for the girl.
“Clearly, you should know better than to brazenly carry a weapon around, certainly in a school.” You chided, and the blonde Wednesday had yet to notice stared between you two wide eyed. Wednesday was, speaking.
“I can’t beat Bianca. Mother was the captain of the fencing team-“ she started.
“Not that you care.” You added, and the girl ignored you, continuing her pacing.
“Not that I care! But I cannot beat this one siren.” She glowered. You sighed.
“Please tell me you’re not fencing like your mother.” You groaned, rubbing your temples from the oncoming headache.
“Her mother was captain of the fencing team.” Larissa finally spoke, and Wednesday snapped to her, finally realizing she was there. Strange how your presence seemed to occupy the girl fully whenever you two were in a room together.
“I’m aware.” You deadpanned, and Wednesday looked to you. “However Morticia fences like any other American, poorly.” You bit, and Wednesday smirked.
“Will you help me?” She asked, tossing you a blade. You snorted as you caught it out of the air, much to the shock of the headmistress standing only a few feet from you.
“Miss Addams!” The woman protested.
“Don’t throw swords, Wednesday.” You reprimanded, and the girl stared at you.
“Says you.” She added, and you rolled your eyes.
“I throw daggers darling, and only at people when I actually want to hurt them.” You smirked, earning another wide eyed look from the headmistress. Would you ever stop throwing her through loops?
“However I am currently speaking with Miss Weems.” You said. Wednesday glanced from you to the blonde, back to you. And she lunged. You sighed as you parried the girl easily, backing her away with precise ease and fluidity that took Larissa’s breath away. “Timing, Wednesday. If you want me to stay working here you’re going to have to respect it.” You said, working the girl back into a corner. She stopped, glaring at you as you tapped the blade to her shoulder. You lowered your blade, walking away only to hear her steps headed for you again.
“Ophelia-“ Larissa warned, but you once again blocked the girl with ease, whirling her around without a worry.
“Timing with my blade or with myself?” The girl asked, throwing herself at you. You scoffed.
“Both, now straighten your back, your shoulders are hunching, it’s neither attractive nor effective.” You said. Wednesday scoffed.
“You sound like my mother.” She said. You laughed darkly.
“You wound me.” You smirked, working her into a corner again. “I will help you, if you like, but not now.” You said, stepping away. She seemed to accept the answer this time, if begrudgingly.
“Enid,” she sighed, and you looked to her, raising a brow at the mention of the girl’s friend. “Wanted me to thank you.” She added. You smiled. So that is what she actually came here for.
“Was that so hard?” You asked her, removing a glove and growing a handful of multicolored tulips. You plucked them, handing them to the girl.
“Off you go.” You said. She glared at you, but did as you asked, running out the door and causing you to shake your head. “Trouble maker.” You sighed, just in time for your phone to ring. “Oh good lord.” You groaned, going to pick it up. “I’m so sorry Miss Weems.” You breathed, checking the display and furrowing your brows. “Speak of the devil.” You muttered answering the phone.
“Yes, Morticia?” You answered, and Larissa’s eyes snapped to you. “No, I don’t.” You answered. She heard her old roommate speak on the other line for a moment, watching you clench your jaw. “No, I will not.” You said, growing slightly annoyed. Larissa couldn’t help the smirk that painted her face when she realized that perhaps Morticia wasn’t the star to everyone, certainly not to her own sister. “I- excuse me?” You hissed, and Larissa raised a brow. “No, no you will listen to what I have to say, Morticia.” You gritted. “I will not be supplying you with anything of the sort. Ever. Again. You see I had the lovely pleasure of meeting the individual you apparently perfected that mixture on.” You growled, and Larissa immediately took notice. You were angry, furious even.
“Allow me to explain this to you, very carefully. Your ‘sequoia’ is a woman, Morticia, had I know what you were using my pollen for I would have never given it to you. Ever. If you’d like to take it up with mother then by all means, but I will not be aiding you in drugging individuals, people, people Morticia, not experiments or playthings.” You seethed. Larissa’s eyes went wide, you were talking about her, but how did you- “Unfortunately, yes, I am sure, considering I reacted to the changes it made to her system almost instantly, thank you.” You gritted. “No.” You added. “Absolutely not.” You hummed, and Larissa watched in shock as you spoke sternly, without hesitation or pause. The conviction in you startled her.
“Yes, I’m fine, it wasn’t anything horrific, a memory from when we were young.” You sighed, running your hand through your hair. Larissa swallowed, you didn’t consider that horrific. What on earth else had happened to you? “No, I’m aware you probably didn’t mean to change her actual structure, but my pollen shouldn’t be used in standard couldron brewing, which I also know you know.” You sighed, and she saw you relax slightly. “Yes Tish.” You shook your head. “No tish.” You sighed, and Larissa watched you with amusement at the interaction.
“I know, I know, I’m sorry, it’s just been- no, no, it’s beautiful here, and I enjoy being stateside, but you know our father prefers if I’m on a different continent.” You laughed a little. It was almost sad, how you laughed at it. “Yes, it is lovely here, I’m almost sad I never came.” You sighed a little. You listened for a moment, humming occasionally. “Well I know, I could have never, I’m aware.” You sighed, shrinking slightly. Larissa watched the shift in you as your sister talked. “I’m aware.” You sighed. “And that too.” You continued. “I will do my best.” You rolled your eyes as she spoke, as you waited for her to finish. “Yes I, I am looking forward to seeing it, Wednesday has your old room, I might just have to sneak up there to see if you did any justice describing it.” You smiled sardonically before your face shifted slightly, more serious.
“I- yes, she seems fine. However you could consider visiting her, she is your daughter, after all.” You remarked, listening to your sister speak. “Yes, I will tell her, have a lovely time, Morticia. Goodbye.” You seethed as you hung up the phone. “God, some days I could kill her.” You sighed, before realizing you weren’t alone. You looked to the woman with you, staring for a moment. You could tell her. She would likely hate you if you did. If you were right. Yet you felt you needed to, as if there was no other option but honesty when it came to this woman.
“I believe I reacted strongly to you touching me because Morticia used my pollen on you when you were roommates, it’s the only thing that makes sense.” You sighed. Larissa looked at you, her brows knitting together in uncertainty. Shit. “Had I known what she was using it for I never would have- I wouldn’t- I am sorry. I am truly sorry, Miss Weems, that I may have hurt you in any way.” You breathed. She stared at you a moment longer. She was unreadable, and your heart picked up as you swallowed down the terror of the woman hating you. You had only just met her, it made no sense that you would care so much.
“She doesn’t like that you’re here, does she?” She asked you, and you raised a brow, watching her reaction.
“She’s trying to be positive, but no, she does not.” You agreed, and you watched as Larissa smiled.
“Well then, I beleive its a terrible shame that I’ve caused the parent of a student any discomfort.” She smiled. You rose both brows at the woman.
“What a mystery you are, Larissa Weems. I simply cannot wait to learn more.” You smiled, leaving the woman standing in shock as you went to the vase you had prepared earlier, gathering it in your hands before handing it to her. It was, of course, at this moment that your niece once again decided to make an appearance.
“Enid told me I am to ask you another question.” She said, bursting through the doors. You sighed deeply, looking to the girl.
“Knocking, perhaps.” You breathed, but nodded. The girl glared at the headmistress, yet steeled herself, preparing to bring up whatever it was that had her in such a tizzy.
“There is, this boy,” she began, and Larissa openly gaped at how the girl would just talk to you. She was even tight lipped around her own mother, but not you, it seemed. You made a sound the woman could only classify as a frustrated mother pretending to enjoy some concoction her toddler had just ‘cooked’ for her.
“Mmm, boys.” You gritted. Your jaw clenched as your hands tightened slightly before relaxing. “It should be noted that this is happening after school hours and I am speaking to you as your aunt, not your professor.” You began, and the headmistress raised a brow at you as Wednesday gave a quick nod. “If anyone, boy, girl, anything else lays a hand on you without you explicit and emphatic consent I will personally drag them through all seven circles of hell in a way that would make the devil blush before they could so much as cry out for their mummy.” You smiled tensely. Larissa’s jaw dropped as she listened to you, perhaps you were a bit mad, but heaven help her something about the protective side you had for the girl was striking.
“Noted, however unfortunately I seem to, enjoy, his presence.” The girl struggled. Your smile relaxed, mirth shining in your eyes as you chuckled.
“Ah, I see. Why not go to your mother with something like this?” You asked the girl, who glared at you.
“I want to talk to him, not get engaged after knowing him for three months.” She quipped, and you snorted.
“It was two and a half, and we’re thankful for that otherwise I would have had to marry a man.” You reminded her, and she nodded.
“Well, what makes you want to talk to him?” You asked her. She furrowed her brows, thinking for a moment.
“He- he-“ her body started to shake and you stood up, leaning forward carefully. “Auntie!” She yelled before her head snapped back as her eyes rolled into her skull. You rushed forward, catching the girl as she shook and fell to the ground. You pulled her close as the vision took her, something you sadly had experience with.
“Hush, I’ve got you, it’s alright, it will pass.” You whispered low, clutching onto the girl’s body. You looked up to the sky through the glass roof of the greenhouse. “Two in one hour, the moon isn’t kind to us tonight, it seems.” You muttered, ripping off your gloves with your teeth before brushing your fingers through the girl’s hair, holding her close.
“Her mother was about her age too.” The headmistress said, walking over in concern. You nodded, your attention only on the girl in your arms.
“Yes, all the women in our family have them.” You sighed. “She’ll be fine, it’s just a matter of waiting for it to pass.” You said, and the headmistress nodded. You could tell she was concerned, but she had experience, she had lived with Morticia after all.
“May I- she is a student after all and,” the woman began, and you nodded.
“Yes, you may stay.” You said calmly, and Larissa relaxed slightly.
“Is there anything I can do?” She asked you. You smiled, shaking your head as you stroked the young girl’s face lovingly.
“Not unless you happen to be her ancestor.” You said, holding her close. The woman was tense, standing helplessly. You sighed, looking up to her. “Breathe, she’ll be fine. Even if I wasn’t here, she would be perfectly alright, frazzled, but alright. As long as she doesn’t hit her head.” You remarked, and the woman nodded.
“I used to see Tich have them, however hers were always,” she searched for the words. You nodded, humming a bit. You knew what she meant.
“Tich is a dove, her visions are normally happy, joyful. They predict paths that may lead to love or peace. Wednesday, Unfortunately, is a raven. She will have to walk a much darker path.” You sighed, your tone slightly too knowing for the headmistress.
“And you?” She asked you. You raised your brows, looking up at her.
“You went into one with me, what do you think?” You asked her. She grimaced, nodding.
“You’re like Wednesday.” She said, and you nodded.
“I am, however something in the way my body is means that I can share visions through touch. It can be useful, however it is not pleasant for the recipient if they weren’t expecting it.” You said apologetically. Larissa nodded, watching you with the girl.
“Do you know what she’s seeing?” She asked you. You shook your head.
“No, if she wishes to tell me, she may tell me, but I will not pry.” You said, and Larissa nodded.
“She’s open with you.” She noted, and you smiled a bit.
“Sometimes. She didn’t like that you were in the room, but she felt it necessary. She rarely alters her behavior for others.” You said softly, still holding the girl.
“I’ve noticed.” The headmistress remarked, and you laughed a little.
“Oh you poor woman, first Morticia and now Wednesday. Will the women of my bloodline torture you forever?” You teased, and the woman laughed.
“Well at least one of them seems to be rather pleasant to be around.” She replied, and you nodded.
“Wednesday certainly has her better moments.” You smiled, looking back at the girl.
“I meant you, Miss Florere.” The blonde said, and you straightened, looking to her suddenly. Oh.
“I- you, haha, you’re very kind, Miss Weems.” You blushed.
“Larissa.” She corrected you, and you smiled slightly.
“Larissa.” You said softly. God, even her name was beautiful. The girl stirred in your arms and you looked down at her as she opened her eyes.
“Welcome back to the world of the living.” You said, and the girl inhaled sharply as she looked at you.
“Did I-“
“You were silent.” You interrupted, shaking your head. and she nodded.
“Would you like to stay with me or would you like to go?” You asked her. And she stood, leaving you on the floor.
“I’d like to go.” She said, and you nodded. She offered her hand to you and you chuckled, picking up your gloves before taking her hand, standing and pulling the girl in for a moment. She groaned in annoyance, but let you, much to the shock of the headmistress. You let the girl go, and she headed towards the doors, before stopping to ask you another question.
“He’s tall.” She said. You nodded, smiling a bit in amusement.
“That’s nice.” You said, and she nodded again.
“How do you kiss someone who’s a foot taller than you?” She asked you, and you choked on air before cackling, Larissa this time fully gaping at the both of you. She asked you WHAT?
“Oh dear god Wednesday.” You cackled, and the woman marveled at how free you sounded. Morticia never sounded like that, never let herself. You, you let yourself be honest, free. “Again, your mother-“ you began, only to be cut off.
“My mother married a man half a foot shorter than her, you had an affair with a nine foot tall vampire lord in Romania.” She deadpanned. This time Larissa was the one to choke on air in surprise. There was no way. You stared at your niece, gaping.
“I- I am going to kill your mother.” You sighed. Wednesday shrugged slightly.
“At least you have the common sense to keep it to yourself. My parents have no such decency.” She said. You breathed out slowly. This was the last conversation you wanted to have in front of the woman who recently employed you.
“Firstly, she was nine foot six, give me some credit. Secondly, countess, not lady. Third, I was high on pain killers for three straight months which is why we don’t date women over eight feet tall and men over seven, thank you and goodnight.” You rushed, leaving the girl smirking and the woman next to you gaping at you.
“Why painkillers?” The braided menace asked, and you quickly ushered her to the door.
“Hello darling, need I remind you that the woman standing over there is your headmistress and my BOSS so unless you are trying to get me fired how about we don’t.” You smiled tensely. God, you were going to kill the little demon.
“Sure but how do you-“
“Reach for the side of the arm not the shoulder and lean up, I’m sure he’s aware he’s tall, he’ll do the rest. Goodnight!” You rushed again, and the girl smirked.
“How long are the fingers of an ten foot tall-“
“Get out!” You yelled, and the girl couldn’t help but laugh as she rushed off. You tapped your foot nervously as she ran off, trying not to be mortified at the entire situation. “Ohhh, I’m gonna kill her, so going to kill her.” You breathed, trying not to pay any mind to the woman standing the conservatory with you. Eventually you had to turn to face her, the blush staining both your cheeks very apparent. You opened your mouth to explain yourself before you simply sighed and shook your head. You were fucked.
“We’ll call it evening of the playing field, granted my sister has told me much more about you than she has told you about me, and I will speak to her about privacy?” You asked, and the woman nodded slowly. The idea made her blush. She knew you were aware of the fact that her and your sister had been, intimate, but to what degree she didn’t know, and the not knowing was killing her. You bit your lip as you stared at her, she certainly was stunning, and taller women did always ignight a little fire in you.
“That, would seem to be needed.” The woman stuttered, and you couldn’t help but smirk a bit at her inability to pull off the same graceful calm she normally did. “I hesitate to ask, but did you actually-“ she tried, cutting herself off before she could finish. You laughed, nodding a little.
“I did, a wonderful three months, but eventually even my own grown opium can only do so much for those kind of aches and pains. Granted I was nineteen at the time…” you muttered, and the woman looked to you in further shock.
“You had an affair with a nine and a half foot tall Romanian vampire countess when you were nineteen!” She hissed, and you nodded.
“I was a little wild back in the day. I was studying with her sister at the time, she was an excellent botanist, considerably shorter though.” You admitted, and the woman swallowed, nodding.
“Well then, I suppose I should be going-“ she began, turning to the door, but you cut her off, walking towards her.
“One moment, if you don’t mind.” You said, taking the rose you had left in her hands before heading to the table you had originally been arranging lilies on.
“For you, a thank you.” You smiled, taking the rose you had given her and adding it to the vase as well, not bothering with the mismatched flowers. She blushed, nodding to you in surprise.
“Thank you, Mi- Ophelia.” She muttered, taking the vase and looking down at you. She could barely look at you. The idea of you with someone like that she, she couldn’t even imagine.
“Always, Larissa.” You smiled, seeing her out the door before you set back to your work.
She went to her office, setting the flowers on her desk. They were beautiful, like the woman who had created them. Morticia had used you against her, it seemed, without ever even saying your name. Yet the two of you must have communicated, otherwise you wouldn’t know anything about her. She also certainly wouldn’t have been subjected to your pollen before if you never spoke to your sister.
Her mind swam with questions as she filled her usual glass of wine, drinking it slowly. You had told her she could ask, yet the ones she truly wanted to know, she couldn’t. Not without giving herself away. She went to bed with her mind overpowered by nerves, her heart pounding at the idea of you. If just a slight touch of your pollen had caused what Morticia used to make her do, make her feel, she shook with the idea of what the true source could be.
Chapter 4: First Day
Summary:
Your first day actually teaching at Nevermore leads you to some new discoveries, as well as ones that you will have to follow up on. Larissa, on the other hand, learns far more than she expected, yes the feeling only leaves her more curious.
Notes:
Hello darlings! Thank you so much for reading and commenting, I absolutely LIVE for your comments. Please let me know what you think or ask me any questions you have, you guys are the reasons these chapters keep coming!
- V
Chapter Text
“Hello students, it’s a pleasure to meet you all.” You smiled warmly, eyeing your first class of the day. You looked up from your roster, eyeing each student, trying to memorize names as best you could as quickly as possible.
“My name is Ophelia Florere, I’m aware the Latin is not the kindest to every tongue, so feel free to call me Miss Ophelia, if you like.” You smiled, looking at each of the faces. A student in the front row raised her hand. “Yes Miss, Barklay?” You hesitated, and the girl nodded her head.
“Yes, I’m sorry, Florere as in Doctor Ophelia Florere? As in ‘Madam Tofana’ Ophelia Florere?” She asked. You chuckled a little, tilting your head.
“You’ve read my book?” You asked her, and her face lit up.
“Not just that one, your, you- your writing is amazing, not to mention all that you have done for botany, specifically related to outcast blood, in general!” She exclaimed. You blushed, shaking your head.
“Well thank you, Miss Barklay, I appreciate the compliment. I look forward to your work in the class.” You smiled, and the girl lit up. Enid’s hand shot up next, and you nodded to her. “Yes Miss Sinclair?” You asked.
“Can you really grow plants from your hands?” She asked you. You laughed softly again, nodding.
“Yes I can, I’ll be happy to show you sometime if you like.” You answered. Another hand shot up, and you checked your list before calling on the young man. “Mr, Thorpe? Is it?” You asked, and he nodded.
“Is it true you’re Wednesday’s aunt?” He asked, and you looked to the girl, who simply fixed him with a sidelong glance, not bothering to say anything. So this was the boy then.
“Yes, Miss Addams is my neice, however I promise to you all I will be remaining as objective as possible while teaching. If any issues arise feel free to come to me or to Headmistress Weems if you feel that I have been unfair.” You explained. The boy nodded, looking from you to the girl a few times, causing you to bite back a reaction to the obvious crush. Poor boy, he had no idea what he was getting into.
“Does that mean you’re an Addams?” Another student asked, and you shook your head.
“No, Wednesday’s mother is my sister, however we no longer share a name.” You smiled.
“So you’re a Frump?” A different student asked. You smiled calmly, shaking your head.
“No, my last name is Florere.” You reminded them.
“So you’re married?” Another asked, and you sighed.
“No, simply a different last name.” You explained, turning to the board.
“Now, I will be happy to answer any questions in the future or after class, however I would like to get started with today’s lesson. I believe it is one some of you already have experience with, however I believe safety is always an excellent place to start.” You said, flipping the chalk board to reveal a series of beautifully hand drawn plants as well as spaces for their scientific names as well as common ones. “Now who can name any of these plants, and tell me why we should avoid them?” You asked, and you smiled as five hands instantly shot up.
The rest of the lesson went on without a hitch, you explained safety procedures with certain plants, what kind of outcasts could not be around certain plants at all, which had to be avoided by everyone. The lesson was simple, but crucial in your mind, after all, if you intended on allowing the students to get their hands dirty, then they would have to be able to know which plants to steer clear from.
You waited calmly as the students filtered out, one staying behind. You had your eye on him since the beginning of the lecture, his name never appeared on your roster, and the other children seemed to ignore him. No friends, it seemed. You waited calmly as he walked down to your desk in the center of the room, and you looked at him expectantly.
“I wanted to ask you, what is your book about Miss Ophelia?” The student asked. You caught a whif of roses from them and smirked. Larissa could change her appearance, but not her scent, it seemed. You leaned in slightly to make sure. Sure enough, roses, expensive perfume, and a touch of tea greeted your nose. You chuckled, leaning back and smirking.
“I have written several, however the one Miss Barklay mentioned is about ancient poisons and how they were made, which plants were used, the possible other uses of such plants, some of my better work actually, I do love when I get to dive into history as well.” You smiled. You watched as the student nodded, walking back to their bag.
“Thank you, Miss Ophelia!” He said, preparing to leave.
“Always, Miss Weems.” You replied, and the boy froze. You bit back a laugh before the woman transformed in front of you, her face surprised at having been caught. You watched her in amazement. You had known shapeshifters before, of course, but she was brilliant, the ease with which she shifted between forms amazing you. You smiled in wonder.
“How could you tell?” She asked you, and you just shook your head.
“You’re incredible.” You breathed, and the woman’s eyes went wide, blushing slightly at your appraisal. “Genuinely, I’ve met- i mean- I’ve never seen someone control it with that much ease, that much grace, before.” You said softly, amazed at the woman. Her blush deepened slightly as she returned to you.
“Yes, well, thank you, Ophelia, I could say the same about you.” She said softly. Now it was your turn to blush, and you did so, looking down and away, before you remembered what she had asked. You tapped your nose.
“Roses, you always smell like roses.” You smiled and the woman breathed in sharply. Of course you would notice something as simple as the lotion she preferred to use. She swallowed, nodding.
“Of course.” She said, and you chuckled, remembering another question the boy she had posed as had asked you.
“And no, once again, I’m not married.” You smiled, and the woman blushed at having been caught.
“Forgive me, I-“ she began, but you shrugged.
“You’re welcome to ask any question you like, you know that.” You said easily.
“Well some are hardly appropriate,” she began.
“Are you married, Miss Weems?” You interrupted her. She swallowed, shaking her head.
“No, I am not.” She said, and you nodded.
“I’ll admit I have a slight advantage on you, so I’ll even the playing field, so to speak.” You sighed. “I’m aware you had a, complicated, relationship with my sister back in your school days. One which I shudder to think I may have had a hand in.” You sighed, closing your eyes for a moment.
“I said yes.” She spoke, and you opened them, looking to her. “Before, Morticia ever gave me tea or used that damn perfume, I said yes.” She struggled. You stepped towards her, taking her hand through your gloves.
“That does not mean she had any right to impact your ability to recind that yes.” You said softly, running your finger over her hand before pulling away, heading to a set of plants you had off to the side. “For that information I’ll trade you the time I was kicked out of finishing school in Switzerland for sleeping with the headmaster’s daughter.” You sighed, and the woman nearly choked.
“You did what?” She asked you, and you laughed a bit as you began grinding and mixing some powders.
“Yes, he walked in on us, it was mortifying.” You added, and the woman bit back a laugh.
“I can’t imagine-“ she said. You rolled your eyes.
“Please, I’m sure you walked in on my sister and her bramble brained husband many a time, I shudder to think what that must have been like.” You groaned, and this time the woman did laugh, a sound that lit up the room. Your heart bloomed at it, and you looked to her in wild eyed adoration as she did so.
“Traumatic!” She replied, and you laughed with her.
“I like to think they’ve calmed down as they’ve matured, but I hardly think that’s true.” You shook your head, and the woman smiled.
“I’m surprised your sister doesn’t have a gaggle of children running about.” She added. You scoffed.
“Oh, I’m surprised she didn’t have her first one here at Nevermore, with the amount of times I had to send that woman back up birth control, good lord.” You sighed, and Larissa chuckled a bit. You both smiled as you worked, she watched your hands through your gloves, almost mesmerized by the simple offhand tasks you accomplished while talking. You wore a simple boat neck sweater today, a dark green and tight to your skin, not getting in the way of your work, with trousers, boots, and your normal gloves. Your arms and limbs were covered as always, but the slight amount of skin you showed threatened to enchant the woman. She could just see your neck and collarbones, yet it was enough to have her wondering what else laid beneath the full coverage clothes you wore.
“You were never like that? Wild and chasing some poor boy around?” She asked you, and you raised a brow.
“No, no I was not. Women, occasionally, boys, no.” You smiled.
“Oh.” She breathed, and you looked at her curiously.
“You know about the Romanian incident.” You reminded her, and she nodded, blushing as she remembered.
“Yes however, liking a woman and only liking women are different things.” She said, and you hummed, nodding before you returned to your work. You funneled the powder you had made into a small cauldron of sorts, already bubbling with liquid. Larissa stepped closer, enjoying watching you work. “Is this for a lesson?” She asked you, and you shook your head.
“No, this is personal.” You hummed, stirring the mixture a few times as it reduced. “I’ve used all my own supplies if that’s a concern.” You rushed, remembering the woman was your employer.
“Good to know, but I had no doubt.” She smiled, and you couldn’t help the warmth that invaded you at the gesture.
“You have a beautiful smile.” You said softly, and the woman blushed, immediately stepping away. She didn’t remember getting that close, how was it that you always seemed to draw her in?
“Yes, well, thank you Ophelia.” She said softly, and you nodded. She turned to leave, and you quickly took a small vial, filling it with the mixture you had made.
“One moment, please!” You called, and the woman turned around, looking to you. You capped the vial and sealed it with a bit of wax from a candle, dipping it and blowing it off before you handed it to her.
“I- what is it?” She asked you, and you swallowed.
“An antidote, of sorts.” You began. “Anything that I create carries a trace of me with it. This,” you nodded to the vial. “Is capable of nullifying any mind altering substances that came from my hands.” You sighed. “I tried to come up with a better form than liquid, but by the time I got that to stabilize it was already the witching hour and I figured I might as well get some sleep before my first classes.” You smiled a bit. “I’ll keep working on it, but consider it a token of my, consider it an apology.” You said softly. The woman stared at you for a moment, taking a sharp breath as she realized what exactly you were giving her. You were giving her your power.
“You, you made me a nullifier for your abilities?” She asked you, her voice so soft you worried she may cry. You swallowed, panicking slightly.
“Well not all of them, but, well- anything I ever gave to Morticia should be able to be countered by that. So- not that I expect her to- or anyone else for that matter- but if you were to encounter the same, or something similar, you would be able to stop the effects before you found yourself in a situation you didn’t enjoy.” You breathed quickly, trying to explain yourself. Her eyes went wider somehow, staring at you in all their blue glory.
“I- thank you.” The woman stuttered, and you nodded, slightly overcome by emotion. It was odd for you, feeling like this. You were a very passionate person, yet this sort of care was something you usually didn’t feel the need to give, at least not to a woman you had barely known for a few days. Yet you couldn’t stand the thought of harming her any more. So you did what you could, you found a way to fix it.
“It’s the least I could do.” You said, turning your face away and down from her. It was shame, she realized. Shame made you look like that. “Regardless,” you swallowed, attempting to get ahold of yourself. “I can keep working on a better form, but for now this should do.” You said quietly, before turning back to your work.
“May I ask you something?” The woman said, and you turned back to her, attempting to smile as you nodded.
“You may ask me anything.” You said quietly, and she took her own mildly difficult breath.
“Have you ever, used, that particular ability on someone, during-“
“No.” You cut her off firmly, your eyes hardening a bit. You turned back around, beginning to clean up. “No. Nor would I ever.” You said. She struck a nerve, Larissa realized. A deep one.
“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean-“
“I am not my sister, Miss Weems. I do not seek power over others in lieu of attraction. If someone were to come to me, I would only accept it if it was of their own accord.” You gritted, quickly packing things away. Her breath hitched as she watched you move to the chalk board, wiping away the labels on all of your diagrams. “I do not take. Not without being given the right to.” You said firmly, going about and resetting glass toppers on a few plants, covering them fully.
You tugged at the edges of your gloves, you wore ones that came just halfway up your forearm today, practical, she realized.
“I don’t think you’re her.” She said suddenly, and you stopped, finally looking at her.
“That, well no, I am not her, but I am not anyone else who would drug someone to bend them to my will during sex either.” You said, and the woman blanched. You stepped closer to her, invading her space slightly. The earthy petrichor smell was stronger on you today, it swam in her head for a moment, it was enchanting. Everything about you was, perhaps that was why she felt the need to ask. “No one at this school is under threat from me, not any more than they are from any other witch or siren.” You said firmly. “I don’t enjoy taking power, Miss Weems, I relish when it is given to me.” You gritted, before turning and going back to your work. The interaction left her speechless, nearly catching her breath as she realized what you had said.
“I- yes well, I’ll see you at the end of the day, Miss Florere, to check in.” She said, quickly rushing from the room, trying desperately to get her wits about her.
You took a deep breath as she did, calming yourself. She didn’t know what she had implied, she couldn’t have. She certainly could not have known your particular past with the subject, otherwise she never would have accused you, you were sure of it. Yet you blew up on her anyway. You internally cursed yourself for your brashness, attempting to pull yourself together to prepare for your next class. It was only the first day, it wouldn’t do you any good to make poor impressions.
Your next classes went smoothly, and you breathed a sigh of relief when no further issues came up. You were cleaning up after your final one when a knock sounded at the door. You hummed, looking up to find a particular blonde werewolf standing at your door.
“Hello Miss Sinclair, please come in.” You smiled, and the girl nodded, stepping in a little nervously. “Is there anything I can help you with?” You asked her, and she shook her head, her multicolor waves tossing about her shoulders.
“No ma’am, I just wanted to thank you.” She said cheerfully. You smiled, waving the girl off.
“There’s nothing to thank me for, I’m just happy I was there to help.” You said, and the girl shook her head, stepping in.
“Well I’m glad you were there. And Wednesday is too!” She added. You laughed, nodding.
“Of course Miss Sinclair.” You smiled. She looked from you to the door a few times, unsure of something.
“Is there anything else I can help you with?” You asked her, and she shook her head.
“No, no, I’m just, curious.” She tried. You tilted your head, raising your brows.
“Certainly.” You nodded, and she fiddled with her hands nervously.
“Is there anything that, um, can help a wolf control wolfing out?” She asked tentatively. You thought for a moment, looking at her.
“There are certain, very, very mild and specific tinctures that can be made with wolfsbane to try to prevent ‘wolfing out’ is that what you mean?” You asked her. She shook her head, clearly uncomfortable.
“What about to bring it on?” She asked you. You tilted your head, thinking for a moment.
“Yarrow has been used to help prolong transformations, but inciting one is a different and more complex task.” You sighed, trying to think of a better answer.
“Right, well, forget I asked.” She hurried, rushing towards the door.
“Miss Sinclair!” You called out, and she stopped, turning to you guiltily. “If you’re having trouble, there are many paths to be taken, not to mention-“
“I don’t want to go to conversion camp!” The girl yelled, and your eyes went wide, your hands twitching at the idea. Your heart dropped.
“No, nor would I ever suggest that.” You said, and she looked to you strangely. “I’m an herbalist, not a barbarian.” You said with a slightly sardonic smile. She looked relieved, almost like she had expected you to send her to one for even mentioning having difficulty.
“That’s, nice.” She said. You nodded.
“There’s nothing wrong with being a bit different, Miss Sinclair. If you’d like to talk about it sometime, my door is open.” You offered gently. She nodded, smiling lightly.
“That, that would be nice.” She said. You nodded.
“You’ll have to tell me your favorite tea for the occasion.” You smiled, and she nodded, thanking you again before skipping out of the room.
You set about looking over small little questionare’s you had students fill out for their first day. Most of it was simple things, their name, if they had taken a full semester of a similar course before, if they had any at home experience, if they felt they enjoyed working with plants, things like that. You began doing your best to try to understand each student, what they wanted from your short time here, anything you could. After all, you liked to learn, and this was an excellent way to do so.
You took off your gloves, allaying them next to you and penning through the papers, making small notes here and there. After an hour or so you began to hear something, the sound was faint at first, but unmistakable. You smiled as you flicked your hands, manipulating the vines you had intricately placed around many of the windows to open a few, letting the serenade in.
You loved it when Wednesday played, it was perhaps one of your favorite things in the world. You loved that she had something she could get lost in. You smiled to yourself, tapping your foot to the beat while you worked.
A knock sounded at your door a few minutes later, and you looked up, folding down the paper you currently had and reaching for your gloves.
“Come in!” You called, slipping one on. You hadn’t turned any lights on in the greenhouse other than the small lamp at your desk, meaning it was mostly dark when you saw white blonde hair duck through your doorway. You stared up in amazement as the moon shown down upon the headmistress, lighting her up. She was gorgeous, glowing even. Your breath hitched, and you watched as she waited unsure by the door as you had frozen with one glove on.
“Don’t move.” You whispered, and she looked to you strangely as you stood slowly, adjusting your angle. She was concerned, you could tell, but with the way she looked you couldn’t bring yourself to break the moment. You listened to Wednesday playing, to the breeze blowing by as the plants in the conservatory tussled slightly from the open windows. You basked in her glow in the moonlight, holding the picture a moment longer before you sighed, shaking your head and beckoning the woman in before you slipped on your other glove.
“Are you alright?” She asked you, and you nodded.
“Fine, simply a shame I can’t paint, a sketch of that moment wouldn’t do you justice.” You said softly, picking up your materials and turning on another lamp as you stood. Her jaw dropped a little.
“Excuse me?” She breathed, and you laughed a bit at yourself, you were likely going to get yourself fired, but to hell with it.
“Have you ever seen a night-blooming cereus?” You asked her, and she shook her head, walking slowly over to the desk. The way your mind bounced from thing to thing was certain to give her whiplash, but she loved it in a way, the wildness in you. “It’s a sort of cross between a cactus and an orchid. It only blooms one night a year in the middle of the desert. The way the light hit your hair, it reminded me of that.” You hummed, smiling as you pulled out a sketchbook you had stored in the desk.
“You think I look like a cactus?” The woman asked, raising a brow. You chuckled, beckoning her closer as you flipped through the pages, identifying the one you wanted.
“Here she is.” You breathed, showing her a beautiful picture of the flower, along with your sketch and notes next to it.
“Oh.” She breathed, and you laughed a little, nodding.
“Mhm.” You smirked. “She’s absolutely stunning. They say that people used to go mad wandering out into the desert at night to watch her bloom. Having seen it myself I would say I would certainly sacrifice a bit of my sanity to watch.” You smiled, and the woman leaned a little closer. You handed her the journal, standing and working your way to the windows, closing them slowly.
“This is, stunning.” She breathed, and you nodded.
“It is.” You agreed, making a mental note to show her one sometime, if you could. They were difficult, the situation must be right for you to properly bloom one. “That particular species is called ‘Queen of the night’ it’s by far the most striking, in my opinion.” You explained. The woman began to flip through the journal, looking at the other types you had cataloged.
“Where did you get this? The sketches are beautiful.” She murmured. You blushed a bit, turning to face her after you finished with the windows.
“That’s mine, I wrote it myself during some of my travels.” You said, and her eyes lit up in amazement.
“You’ve seen all of these?” She asked you, and you nodded, walking back to your desk and leaning against it.
“I have, and a few other books full too.” You smiled. “Do you like flowers, Larissa?” You teased her, and the woman blushed and scoffed at the statement.
“Don’t be silly.” She reprimanded you, but you shrugged, a mischievous smile lighting up your face.
“No, please, tell me, what’s your favorite?” You smirked, and she closed the journal, eyeing you carefully.
“I feel as though this is some sort of test.” She said, and you shook your head in ernest.
“No, I’m simply curious. Although I will admit sometimes you can tell something about a person by it. You shrugged.
“I already took your questionnaire during your first class, Miss Ophelia.” She reminded you, and your brows shot up.
“Yes, you did.” You smiled, walking around the desk and shuffling through papers for a bit. “Ah, here we are.” You hummed, finding the paper with a name not on the roster. “Alright, you do have precious botany experience, good.” You smiled, looking up at the woman for a moment. She seemed to be accepting your antics for now, something you found quite charming. “You do garden occasionally and your favorite flower is, oh.” You smiled, blushing a bit at the paper. “Juliet roses.” You hummed. “A rarity, but a beautiful one. Almost impossible to keep.” You chuckled, shaking your head.
“I’m aware.” The woman sighed. “I attempted to grow a few of them once, it did not end well.” She sighed. You smiled and hummed a bit of a laugh. Your smile faded after a moment, and you sighed, taking a deep breath in preparation.
“I also must apologize for my outburst earlier, it was highly inappropriate of me.” You said. The woman shook her head, but you cut her off from any protest before she could even attempt one. “No, it was. It had to do with my own personal issues and not at all with you, and I am sorry that I lashed out.” You said calmly, and she thought for a moment.
“I, accept your apology, Miss Florere.” She said gently. You raised a brow, nodding.
“Thank you, Miss Weems.” You smiled back, and she relaxed slightly. “Allow me to make it up to you?” You asked her, and she shook her head, waving you off.
“Nothing to worry about, I understand.” She said, but you stood, walking around the desk again and to her.
“I insist, please, I promise it will be worth your while.” You smirked, and she swallowed, whatever you had in mind was certainly going to be something she hadn’t thought of. If she knew one thing about you it was the fact that she never knew exactly what you were thinking. She knew she should say no, yet she couldn’t help but wonder what would happen if she said yes? What would you do?
“I- what exactly did you have in mind?” She asked you, and you just smirked and shrugged, much to her annoyance.
“Oh, nothing, nothing too interesting.” You teased, and she scoffed at your mischief, yet she couldn’t help the slight blush that formed on her cheeks when she thought of what all you might do.
“If, and that is if, I accept, then you must first have tea with me to discuss your first day here at Nevermore.” She countered. You prentended to think about it only for a moment before you nodded, happily agreeing. Heaven help you, you might do anything the woman asked of you. You barely knew her, but the way she enchanted you, the way she could exist with such grace and beauty simply blew you away.
You turned off the lights and followed the woman to her office, standing as she went about making the tea.
“How do you like it?” She asked you, and you smiled.
“Cream and bit of honey please, my sweet tooth isn’t as bad as my sisters.” You said with a smile, and Larissa laughed a touch.
“Sit.” The woman gestured to the couch, and you did, happily sitting in the corner of it, your gloved hands folded into your lap. She came to join you, handing you the teacup and sitting down next to you. “So, your first day, how was it?” She breathed, looking to you expectantly. You smiled, shaking your head a little.
“Well you were there for my first class, but I enjoyed it, it’s been a long time since I’ve taught those who are newer to the subject, they’re still fresh, excited.” You smiled, and the woman nodded. She watched you speak, you spoke with your hands when you were alone together, which surprised her a bit.
You gestured about as she watched you, her eyes trained on your covered hands. She had seen what they looked like, but they still intrigued her, they were so soft, so warm, so strong. She wondered what they would feel like on her skin, not just her tracing them, but holding her, your hands on her face, her back, her shoulder, would you be gentle, or forceful and rushed? She thought you would be gentle, but she had seen the fire in you, the passion, before. She had no doubt you could use it if you really wanted to.
“Larissa?” You hummed softly, and she snapped out of it, her eyes jumping to your own as she realized she’d been caught. “You’re staring.” You chuckled, and she blushed, shaking her head.
“I’m so sorry, I- it is highly inappropriate-“ She began, mortified by herself, but you cut her off when you placed your gloved hand gently over hers.
“It’s alright, I don’t mind.” You smiled a bit. “It’s not every day a beautiful woman stares at me.” You chuckled, and she blushed a bit, looking away from you. You blinked a few times, swallowing as you adjusted yourself. You pulled away a bit, putting some distance between you. “I’ve made you uncomfortable.” You sighed, mentally cursing yourself. Of course you had, you barely knew the woman for God’s sake.
“No! You haven’t I just, I am curious.” She said softly. You turned back to her, furrowing your brows slightly.
“About what?” You asked her, and she swallowed.
“Your visions, sharing them, how does it work? Can you control it? Can you choose to show people things? Why did I see that memory? Could you show me others? Are there ones you’re scared of?” She rushed, and you breathed in slowly, taking her hand to quiet her. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t-“ she began, but you shook your head.
“I told you to ask Larissa, I meant it.” You said softly. “I can share visions or memories with a touch if I choose to, under normal circumstances I can control it, however with certain individuals it can be extremely difficult. My sister, for instance, and I, are extremely close in terms of ability, despite our differences, so when we touch, quite often we transfer things. With you, I beleive it was because of the fact that my pollen has been used on you before, but I have no way to be positive. I can choose to show people things if I wish, and I don’t know why that memory came when you touched me, they often come of their own accord. I am capable of showing you others, and of course there are ones I would rather keep to myself, from anyone.” You explained, answering all her questions. She nodded, swallowing as she looked at your gloved hands. You sighed, shaking your head. You slipped them off, slowly revealing the blackened skin beneath them, the strong yet delicate fingers, the slightly macabre beauty.
“What would you like to see?” You asked her. Her eyes went wide, glancing from your hands to you.
“I couldn’t,” she protested, but you shook your head.
“It’s alright, I have good control of it when I’m expecting it, I don’t mind. Not with you.” You said gently. Her eyes widened, you didn’t mind with her. There was something different about her. It made her heart flutter a bit as she realized you trusted her, you would let her if she asked. You smiled, “I know what you would like, actually.” You chuckled. “Want to see the queen of the night?” You asked her, a slight smirk on your face. She couldn’t help the interest at the idea.
“Are you sure?” She asked you, and you nodded, extending your hand to her. She hesitated still.
“It won’t be as rough as last time, just take my hand and follow me, let go, let it wash over you.” You said softly. She swallowed, slowly slipping her hand into yours. You met her eyes, grey meeting ice blue. Your hand was warm in her touch, hers were always cold, but you, you were warm, vital. “Are you ready?” You asked her, and she swallowed, nodding a bit.
“Yes, take me.” She whispered. Your breath stuttered, your eyes going wide as you blushed. This time it was red flowers that bloomed in your hair, and her own cheeks stained with red as she realized what she had said. “I mean, I-“ She stuttered, but you just swallowed, closing your eyes and leaning your head back.
She watched as you took a deep breath, before your entire body seemed to be pulled up almost, your heart rising in a way. Your back arched beautifully as your chest was left on display. The thin sweater only slipped down enough to show your collarbones, yet it was certainly enough to grab the headmistress’s attention, and the way you threw your head back.
She bit her lip as she felt the internal pull, and she closed her eyes, taking a deep breath as she felt her mind be pulled down into her body, before flying freely into you. She was standing in a desert, a few feet from you as you kneeled in the sand.
“Professora, this is her.” A man called, and you nodded, digging into your bag to pull out your field journal. It was quiet, late at night, as the moon rose silently.
“Gracias, señor. Muchas gracias.” You nearly giggled. She took note of the loose clothing you wore, the haram pants and light fabric of your shirt blowing in the slight breeze. It smelled warm, hot out here in the dessert, and she stepped closer, watching in amazement as she moved through a living memory. She could practically feel your excitement, and watched as you pulled back your wild curls, a few still falling in your face. The woman watched in amazement as you turned your entire attention to the plant in front of you, an odd looking thing with a large white flower bud hanging off it.
“Professora, we might not be alone, I don’t know how long we can stay.” The man said nervously, and you shook your head.
“I have to see this Señor, I have to.” You said, already writing wildly in your journal. Larissa watched as the man became increasingly more nervous and jumpy.
“We are not in good lands, this is cartel territory señora.” The man said nervously. You shook your head.
“You don’t have to stay, thank you for bringing me here, thank you so much, but you don’t have to stay if you are worried señor.” You said. The man swallowed, looking to you.
“It is twelve miles to the next town!” He whisper yelled, and you nodded.
“I know, I’ll be all right.” You said, still not looking up from your work.
“In the desert señora!” He protested.
“I will be alright, you have your money, if you are worried, go.” You said, and the man groaned, cursing in Spanish before running off. You chuckled as you sat in the sand, watching the plant with everything. You still wore gloves, even in the dessert, she noticed, but as the man left you ripped them off, revealing your hands. She stepped closer, slowly sinking into the sand next to you, normally she would hate the feeling, however in your memory it almost felt, pleasent. You turned to her, blinking slowly at the woman.
“Who are- oh,” You breathed, smiling. “I’m showing this to you, aren’t I?” You asked her, and she nodded.
“Do you not- do you know me?” She asked, and you narrowed your eyes a bit.
“Let’s see, you’re tall, stunningly gorgeous, white hair that glows in the moon and you’re looking at me like I have three heads. Must be Larissa Weems.” You chuckled, turning back to your flower. She gasped at you.
“So you don’t know where you are right now?” She asked, and you tilted your head from side to side.
“I can still feel my body, and I know certain things instinctually, but my mind is mostly that of this time.” You said, and she nodded slowly.
“Incredible.” She breathed, and you smiled, laughing a little as you turned back to the flower.
“Let’s skip to the good part then,” you said, your face lit up in excitement. Larissa watched amazed as the world seemed to speed up around you, you were manipulating time in your own vision.
“Oh my god, this is, this is incredible,” She whispered, and you smiled as you nodded towards the flower. She watched it bloom, sped up by you. The petals opened in the moonlight, a sweet scent flooding the air as she gasped in amazement. “Gorgeous.” She breathed, and you smiled as you continued to sketch, seemingly content to just have her there. It was odd, interacting with you in this way, but she couldn’t bring herself to care as she watched the night unfold, the stars lighting up the sky as the flower bloomed, the both of you sitting in the warm desert sand. It must have been hours. She stayed until the first light of dawn was showing, when you finally turned to her again.
“It’s time to go now.” You said softly, and Larissa looked to you in a slight panic.
“But, I- this is amazing I don’t want-“ you shook your head, taking her hand.
“We can love our visions and memories, but if we live in them, we kill the present.” You said softly. She gulped at the feeling of your hand on her skin, and you looked down, to your hands together. “Oh, I see.” You said softly. “It’s less scary when it doesn’t feel real?” You asked her, and she furrowed her brows. “I can feel your emotion, Larissa.” You said softly, and she gasped, pulling away in embarrassment. “You don’t have to be afraid, I can keep it here with me if you like, it can stay in this vision.” You said softly. She swallowed.
“What do you mean?” She asked you, and you smiled knowingly.
“We are connected here, together, as one. I can feel the things you feel, but if you don’t want the ‘real’ me to know, then I don’t have to.” You said softly.
“To- to know what?” She swallowed, and you raised a brow.
“Ah, so you don’t even know yet, interesting.” You smiled. “Until next time.” You said softly, and her eyes went wide, reaching for the vision version of you.
“Wait!” She called, but blackness overtook her again. She felt like she was falling, unsure, careening through nothingness, until she felt something warm under her cheek. She breathed slowly, focusing on the feeling. Softness, warmth, there was a familiarity to it. She breathed slowly as she calmed down, holding onto the feeling.
“Larissa,” she heard your voice say. It was soft, almost far away. Then she felt a hand brush over her back. Her eyes opened slowly in confusion, her head swimming a bit. “Hello there, you didn’t want to come out of that one, it seems.” You said softly. She pinched her brows together.
“I thought you said it was easy.” She hissed slightly, and you chuckled.
“I said it was easy if you let it wash over you, allow it to happen. You fought me.” You laughed a little. The laugh shook her, and it was then she realized that she was laying on your chest, her face tucked into your neck.
“Oh my god.” She whispered, and you bit back another laugh. “Miss Ophelia, I’m so sorry-“ she immediately sat up, bracing her arms on the couch underneath her, unfortunately, this put her arms on either side of you, and she quickly became aware she was essentially pinning you to the couch.
Pulling her head away meant her face was now directly in front of you, so close she could see the flecks of silver in your grey eyes. She froze, hovering above you, her face inches from yours. Her breath caught. You were stunning. You looked at her as if she were all the stars in the sky as your heart pounded in your chest. Part of you felt terrified she would feel it, but the last thing you wanted her to do was move. She stared down at you in shock, her eyes glancing back and forth between your own. She saw the surprise in them, but she also saw how they darkened.
You looked at her like you wanted her, but you couldn’t, it had to be a trick of the light. You were flirtatious, like your sister, nothing more. It had to be. She barely knew you, but something felt so right about it, something in her made her ache to close the gap between you.
“Are you alright?” You whispered softly, your voice trembling slightly. She glanced down at your lips. They looked so soft, would they be warm too, like your hands? She wanted to ask, she wanted to find out. But you were a teacher, Morticia’s sister for God’s sake. She pulled away, not noticing how you leaned up a little at the loss as she looked away.
“Yes, yes, I’m fine.” She said, looking away as she blushed, not noticing the flowers that once again bloomed in red in your hair.
Chapter 5: A Visit From The Past
Summary:
Larissa learns more of your past, more of what makes you the way you are, and the horror she feels gives way to something else as you stay close to her regardless.
Notes:
Hello darlings! Thank you so much for all your comments, I absolutely love reading each one! I cannot wait to see what you think of this chapter, you’re definitely about to see more of Ophelia and I hope you enjoy!
Chapter Text
You were grading homework in the conservatory, a bit after dinner, tapping your pen across papers as your mind wandered. The woman was killing you. Larissa Weems would be the death of you. She was your sister’s former roommate, former lover, actually, and was entirely off limits. Yet something about her had your heart picking up every time the woman looked at you.
You felt yourself blush and went back to your work, attempting to focus once more. That however, seemed to not be in the cards for you.
The doors burst open, and you looked up, seeing a very concerned Enid. It was odd for the girl to come to you, you had only interacted twice out of class, one time of which she was unconscious, until you realized that she would come to you if Wednesday was in trouble. You stood, immediately putting the papers inside your desk and pulling on your gloves.
“What happened?” You asked her, and she panicked.
“Her grandparents, I don’t know, they took her to headmistress Weems office! I don’t know what’s happening but it’s not good Miss Ophelia!” She rushed, you stormed out of the conservatory, of course they would come.
“Thank you, Miss Sinclair, I will take care of this.” You gritted, striding up to Larissa’s office at a breakneck pace.
You could hear Larissa speaking through the door, she was frustrated, but that was nothing compared to what they were about to experience.
“I’m sorry but you cannot simply take Miss Addams from campus without her parents’ explicit permission-“ she was trying to pacify them, explain it calmly. You on the other hand, would not.
You slammed open the doors to find Wednesday glaring at her grandmother, Larissa looking very concerned behind the desk, and Mr. Frump himself looking at you murderously.
“Auntie!” Wednesday shouted, running to you instantly. You grabbed ahold of the girl, holding her close as you tried to calm yourself. This would not be pleasant.
“You storm in here like an animal, after all the schooling we gave to you! You would think you would learn.” Your mother glared distainfully.
“Gave is one way of putting it, school is another.” You bit back.
“You cannot expect learning from a backwards whore, Hester.” Your father gritted. Classy.
You steeled yourself, standing tall. You shifted your gaze to your niece, smiling softly. It would be ok, you would make it ok. You would protect her.
“I’m not going with them.” She said, and you nodded. You had to be calm, you would be calm until Wednesday was no longer there. You would hold it together, even if they wouldn’t.
“I know, you won’t have to, I’ll take care of it.” You swallowed. “Wednesday, I need you to go to my classroom and stay there. Do not open the door unless myself, your mother, or the headmistress comes to collect you, understood?” You asked her. She nodded. “Take Enid.” You added, looking to the blonde standing at the door nervously. She nodded again, running off as you shut the door behind them.
“How dare you-“ your father spat, before you fixed him with a glare that even made Larissa shudder. That, was new.
“No, how dare you.” You spat. “You know very well you are not allowed anywhere NEAR that child without her parents present, or need I remind you what happens?” You nearly growled. Your father stepped towards you.
“We are her grandparents, we are your parents!” He yelled, and you stilled. The calm you showed was terrifying. Larissa had seen you frustrated, even angry, but this, this was cold, calm, cutting. This was deadly.
“You are not my parents. You may have birthed me, but are not my parents, you did not earn that title. You do not get anything from me or from my niece simply because you share blood.” You gritted, nearly laughing at them.
“She is a raven, and with this past year’s events, not to mention YOUR presence-“ you mother began, only for you to cut her off.
“You will not lay a hand on her. She will remain under this school’s protection, under her mother’s protection, under MY protection, Mrs. Frump.” You spat. The cold distain you held for the woman clear. Larissa couldn’t speak, only watching what transpired in shock. This is how they treated you, their child, this is what they thought of you.
“She will need correcting, unless her mother wants her to end up like you.” The woman spat. You raised your brows. Larissa fumed.
“Like me? Like me?” You scoffed.
“If you must know, Mrs. Frump, I hold two doctorate degrees, have taught in universities across the globe, won countless awards for my work in the world of botany, published books that are now used as standard reading practice and others still as textbooks.” You said, scarily calmly. “I also happen to have honorary degrees from multiple universities and make enough on passive income to put you two shame, so thank you, I hope she does end up like me. Successful, strong, and happy.” You smiled. Your mother walked up to you, and Larissa’s breath caught, the woman was fine with getting in your face, it seems.
“Your fancy letters mean nothing, you have nothing to show for it. You have no husband, no children, no family. You are a curse on ours, and will be a curse on this school.” She spat. You raised a brow. How odd the woman hated you so, with everything you had accomplished in your life, yet it would never be enough. It would never be what she wanted.
“In fact, we might just have to recind our annual donation if this is the type of teacher you hire, Miss Weems.” Your father snarked, turning to her. Larissa went wide eyed for a moment before panicking. That, she had to interfere with. Before this had been personal, she was an outsider, but now, now this was her school you were talking about.
“I’m sure there’s a way we can resolve this, Mr. and Mrs. Frump, please im certain-“
“Don’t. Threaten her.” You said calmly, and all eyes snapped to you. You were in between the two of them in a second. He could take shots at you, sure, but not her. “You will not threaten her, actually. You can’t.” You smiled coldly. The man stared at you, anger blooming in his face and body. He wanted to kill you.
“I’m not an idiot, Mr. Frump. You can’t afford to threaten her.” You smiled. “You think I would have even considered taking a position here if you could jeopardize the institution? Let’s see, I take a temporary position at a school you bolster, you donate what, 10,000 a year? 20,000?” You mocked. “Oh wait, I know exactly what you donate.” You said, your smile dropping. “You give 15,000 a year to this school, something I happen to know because you, Mr. Frump, have a crippling gambling addiction, to the point where your mother left her money to her oldest granddaughter as opposed to you, and who would that be?” You asked. “Oh! That would be me.” You said calmly. “You run the family coffers dry and her estate sends you a yearly allowance, 15,000 of which you donate to this here school, around 50,000 of which you waste, and the rest goes to attempting to prove to your wife you are on top of everything, does that sound about right, Mr. Frump?” You asked him with a smile.
“You bitch.” He growled as Hester looked to him in shock.
“Darling, is she-“ Your mother started, only to be cut off as you spit out her title.
“Yes, I am telling the truth, ma’am.” You snapped. “Furthermore, if you recind your donation, if would be no issue for me to match it. I could double it actually, very, very easily.” You smiled, the viciousness in you something Larissa wasn’t familiar with. It was terrifying, you could be cold, calculated, it gave the warmth you so freely gave her so much more meaning. “However, I would much rather keep things simple, so if you would like to continue receiving the amount you receive from my grandmother’s estate, I highly suggest you apologize to Miss Weems and escort yourself off campus.” You said coldly. Your father growled.
“You don’t get to threaten me you ungrateful bitch!” He yelled, lunging forward and wrapping his hands around your throat. You choked, ripping him off of you and pushing him back, just in time for him to punch you square across the face. You slumped to the ground, Larissa gasping as your mother cried out as she held him back. She couldn’t lay hands on a family member of a student, even if it was estranged. She certainly couldn’t do anything to a benefactor. She froze in horror as she watched him, the rage the man felt taking over.
“Darling don’t!” Your mother cried, and you held out your hand as vines erupted from your palm, wrapping around the man and holding him back. You gasped for air, he had hit you hard, plenty hard enough to cause problems. You stood slowly, wiping the blood from your nose with your free hand as you rose to your feet. He made you bleed, he made you bleed and Larissa saw red. Her hands balled into fists and you caught her eyes for a moment. There was pain there, you were hurt, but the minute shake of your head told her all she needed to know. You would handle this, you would make it better. You had her. Even now, you were in control. You didn’t even bother to look at your mother, only to the man who had been brought to his knees by your power.
“If you lay another hand on me I will release a portfolio of information that will make sure you are never permitted within five hundred feet of any child, let alone your grandchildren ever again.” You said lowly. “You will rot in prison for the rest of your miserable lives knowing that it was your own actions that put you there, and that you will never, ever see the little that is left of your family every again.” You spat. The both of them stared at you in shock. They knew you had everything you needed to put them away, but you had never threatened it before. For Morticia’s sake, as long as they didn’t harm anyone else, you let them be. Yet this time was different. This time you stared at them with cold, dark, rage as blood dripped down your face. You meant it, if they came here again, they would be dealt with.
You flicked your hand, releasing the vines, letting the man up. “Do not confuse me sparing you for the sake of my sister with mercy. I will not hesitate to bring you both down if you lay a hand on either of her children.” You spat.
“Ophelia-“ your mother tried, but you turned away, taking off your ruined gloves.
“Get out.” You gritted. They hesitated for a moment. “Get out!” You yelled, and the both of them hurried away, rushing from the room. You went silently to the window, watching as they rushed into their car and away for good. You sighed, your hands shaking slightly as you calmed. Larissa stared at you, slowly stepping closer. You were shaking, you were hurt. Yet still, you kept up a sense of strength somehow.
“Ophelia…” Larissa said quietly, but you just turned, shaking your head. She could see the pain on your face, even if you refused to feel it.
“I- I have to get to Wednesday.” You said, immediately rushing towards your conservatory. The woman followed you, calling out your name, but you ignored her, speeding up until you pounded on the doors of the conservatory, calling out for your niece.
“Wednesday, it’s your aunt.” You said firmly, and the girl ripped open the door, looking up at you. You could see the moment worry hit her face. For such a stoic, she did care deeply.
“You’re bleeding.” She breathed, her brows lifting slightly. You sighed, shaking your head.
“I’m fine, nothing an ice pack can’t fix.” You sighed, and she looked up to you in fear.
“What is Newflight?” She asked you, the worry clear on her face. You froze, taking a deep breath before you pulled the girl close, into you. Wednesday stiffened, but let you. She knew you well enough. You notoriously weren’t scared by anything, but even you had cracks in your facade. Larissa watched as you clutched onto her like she might be dragged away any second. This was fear, she realized, true, heart stopping fear.
“Somewhere you will never go Wednesday, ever.” You said, your voice just on the edge of breaking.
“Auntie, what is it?” She asked you, and you let her go, sniffing back tears as you tried to put a calm look on your face. Larissa could see you breaking, she could see the fear, the pain. Whatever it was, it wasn’t good. She fought the urge to go to you, to pull you away from this, from the pain, and hold you close until it was gone. She couldn’t though, even if you accepted physical affection from anyone other than your niece, it wasn’t her place. She was the headmistress right now, not anything else.
“It is a place people used to send ravens, like you and I, many years ago.” You sighed. “It is designed to pacify them, but it normally ends in their death, or worse,” You said lowly. Finding the words was still hard, even after all these years. “A complete separation of their power, it drives them mad until they are nothing but a broken shell of a body.” You swallowed. Wednesday looked to you in fear. “Your mother will never let you be sent to such a place, nor will I, no matter what your grandparents say, I promise you.” You said, your voice once again taking on the firm tone of promise that Larissa knew. That, you had conviction in. The way you protected those you loved, she wondered what that felt like. If they felt safe. She thought she would.
“But what if-“ Wednesday began, but you cut her off.
“Wednesday I will burn what is left of that place to the ground before anyone there lays a hand on you.” You gritted, and she nodded, her eyes widening as she realized you meant it. Your head was pounding, you had used your ability to stop the bleeding, but you knew it would start again soon. You didn’t have much time if you didn’t want to scare the girl. “I have to call your mother, but it’s going to be ok Wednesday, I promise.” You said, and the girl nodded. You looked to Enid, who came up to her friend, taking her hand.
“Come on, let’s get ready for bed, we have that project to work on, remember?” She asked, and Wednesday nodded slowly, taking her friend’s hand and going.
“Ophelia?” She turned, just before she reached the door.
“Yes, darling?” You asked her, and she looked so young in that moment you thought you might break. She was too young, it didn’t matter that you were younger, this was too much.
“I’m glad you’re here.” She said softly, and you nodded, smiling gently at the girl.
“I’m always here darling, whenever you need, just a call away.” You promised. She nodded, finally leaving the room with her friend.
As soon as the door shut you choked, bending over and gasping. Larissa looked to you wide eyed as you turned around, pulling a handkerchief from your pocket and holding it to your face, coughing and spitting out blood as tears came to your eyes.
“Oh my- Ophelia!” She rushed, stepping over to you and taking the cloth from you, sitting you down on your desk as she wiped away the blood, her hand wrapping around your jaw gently. Fuck your aversion to touch, you were hurt. “I didn’t know it was this bad.” She breathed, and you groaned a little as she held you up.
“I used goldenrod pollen, it stops bleeding for a bit.” You muttered, closing your eyes as tears ran down your face.
“You’re hurt.” She choked, she didn’t know it was this bad, you had hidden it so well, too well. “come on, let’s get you some ice.” She breathed. You nodded, your head swimming a bit as the adrenaline faded.
“Fucker hit me hard, damn bastard still has one hell of a hook.” You whispered, and the woman helped you to your feet, slowly leading you to the door.
“Still…“ she realized, and you held the handkerchief to your face.
“He choked me in front of you, he went for me in your office for hell’s sake, you really think that’s the first time he’s hit me?” You asked her. She swallowed, staring at you for a moment. She saw red. Pure rage filtered through her. She gritted her teeth, sneering before she bent down, picking you up and storming to her quarters.
“Larissa!” You yelped, but she just held you close, you wrapped your arms around her as she carried you through the halls, your head spinning at being hit or the proximity, you couldn’t tell.
She opened the door to her living space, setting you down on a couch before disappearing into what you could only assume was a bathroom.
“Well that’s one way to sweep a woman off her feet.” You quipped, and the woman nearly growled. She appeared again with a wet cloth this time, sitting down on the couch next to you and cleaning off your face. The bleeding was stopping, but still the woman seethed as she cleaned you up. It was quiet for a moment. You tilted your head back, trying not to stare as she touched you. She was gentle, so gentle it barely hurt. Your breath hitched as she worked, the silence settling between you two as her anger faded.
“They sent you there, didn’t they?” She asked you. You hummed, your eyes slipping closed as the cold compress eased the slight ache.
“Yes.” You breathed, swallowing down the ache of it. “I need to call my sister.” You swallowed.
“You need to rest.” She corrected you, “I’ll call her.” She said, standing and getting her phone from somewhere.
“You don’t know what to say!” You hollared from the couch, only to hear the woman scoff and put her phone on speaker. It rang a few times before you heard your sister’s voice.
“Larissa, what a pleasent surprise.” She purred, and you rolled your eyes. “Here I thought you had abandoned me.” She hummed, and you scoffed.
“Morticia if you flirt with your former roommate while you’re on speaker I will hang myself on your porch.” You yelled, and you heard the woman laugh.
“Hello little sister.” You could hear her smiling through the phone.
“I’m three hours older and you know it, now shut up, we actually have something important to talk about.” You gritted, and the woman laughed again.
“Is my dear Issa actually there or have you stolen her phone?” She asked, and Larissa rolled her eyes, annoyed by the nickname.
“Yours, my ass. We both know you were a bitch, let it go.” You shot, and your sister huffed.
“Can you blame me?” She asked you, and you scoffed.
“Yes, yes I can.” You retorted, and you practically heard the eye roll.
“Come now, you’ve seen her, she was so gorgeous, so pristine, such a challenge.” Your sister mused, and you swallowed down the urge to throw the phone into the fireplace, it wasn’t yours, after all.
“Gorgeous, yes. Pristine, quite possibly. A challenge? She’s a person, Morticia. Even for you, that was, that was cruel.” You said, a touch of anger seeping through your voice. Larissa’s breath hitched beside you, and you swallowed, looking back at her. Her face was red as can be, and you wanted to bury your face in a pillow as you realized the implications of what you had said. She held the same flustered look until she realized Morticia had indeed asked a question.
“I’m here, unfortunately your sister is someone incapacitated.” She sighed, her face getting slightly more serious as she looked at you, worry showing.
“Did you tie her up? I don’t think anyone’s ever done it successfully, but I’d love to see you try.” Morticia teased, and you sighed, closing your eyes in exhaustion.
“You have to stay awake until I’m certain your don’t have a concussion.” Larissa hissed, setting the phone down on the table and sitting next to you again.
“Concussion? Ophelia, are you alright?” You heard your sister say, much more serious now.
“Yes, I’m fine, it’s nothing terrible, I’ll be fine.” You sighed.
“It is not fine that your father stormed into my office and assaulted-“ you slammed your hand over Larissa’s mouth before she could continue, her eyes bugging out of her skull at your uncovered skin pressed against her face. Your fingers were on her lips, on her.
“Father, father hit you?” Your sister asked. You heard her shift, she must have been moving somewhere more private. “Why would he hit you? He was there? He was at Nevermore?” She hissed, and you sighed.
“He knows, Tich, they know about Wednesday.” You said tiredly. You heard her gasp on the other side of the phone, just as you heard her clamp her hand over her own mouth to silence it.
“No.” She whispered. “But he, he wouldn’t, they wouldn’t.” She stuttered.
“It’s fine, I was here, and they won’t come back. They know they can’t touch her without your permission, but they tried, Tich.” You said, your voice betraying a bit of the pain you felt. Larissa pulled your hand from her face, staring at you in worry as you sat back, trying to find the words. You didn’t even react to her touch, you just allowed her. She blushed as she realized you had only ever interacted this way with Wednesday, everyone else you kept a distance from or were very aware if they were touching you. With her you just let her hold your hand as you spoke on.
“I doubt they’ll try again, they think it’s what she needs, they don’t want her to end up like, well, you know.” You sighed, and Morticia took a shuddering breath on the other side of the phone.
“We’re coming home. Now. They wouldn’t have done this if we hadn’t left the country.” She said, and you hissed as you sat up more. Fuck, your head hurt.
“It’s not your fault Tich, they- it’s not your fault.” You said quietly. It was then that your sister really heard your voice, the pain in it.
“You’re hurt.” She said softly.
“I’ll be fine. It wasn’t bad.” You tried to calm her.
“I know when you’re lying.” She said, and you hummed.
“I’m not, I can deal with a punch every now and then.” You sighed. “It’s not like we were alone. Even if we were, he doesn’t have the power anymore. I’m not little, Tich, I can defend myself.” You reminded her. She hummed, clearly distracted. “I can defend Wednesday too. They have no grounds to take her, no right to. As long as I’m here they won’t try again.” You said, and she sniffed.
“I- Im sorry,” She whispered. You inhaled deeply.
“Tich, don’t-“ you tried, but she kept going.
“I’m sorry I let them, you shouldn’t have gone, I can’t imagine, sending Wednesday- Wednesday can’t go there, she can’t- I- Ophelia she can’t!” She rushed, and you hushed her.
“She’s with me, Tich. She’s at Nevermore for hell’s sake! This is the best place she could possibly be. She’s protected. Believe me, I wouldn’t want to get on Larissa’s bad side.” You teased, and Morticia chuckled a bit.
“No, no I don’t think you would.” She said. You hummed, nodding despite the fact the woman couldn’t see you. “We’ll come home, I want to see you.” She said, and you sighed.
“If you’d like.” You replied. She scoffed, and you smiled a bit.
“I trust Issa is treating you well?” She teased. The woman once again rolled her eyes, making you smirk and raise a brow at her. She blushed, and you chuckled at the response.
“Very well, even with just your letters I could always tell she was the nicer one.” You smirked, and your sister gasped, faking offense.
“How dare you! You only say it because she’s pretty.” Morticia teased. You rolled your eyes.
“Pretty doesn’t even begin and you know it. Now call your daughter, tell her you love her.” You instructed, and the woman giggled.
“Oh, you do like my roommate, don’t you?” She teased, and you clenched your jaw.
“Tich.” You warned. Larissa looked to you, her jaw slackening a bit.
“You know I must say she is very-“
“Morticia.” You growled, another warning.
“A shame really, she is pretty if you can get past-“ Morticia spoke, and Larissa cringed. The second she did it was over, your hand squeezing hers protectively. So this is what it felt like, your protection.
“Morticia Addams!” You yelled, and the woman stopped. “Firstly, ‘get past’ are you out of your goddamn mind? Jesus, she’s- not that I- fuck.” You groaned, and your sister laughed, only serving to spur you on. “Secondly! She’s not a toy, you fucking brat! You can’t just pass people around like- I, fuck my head hurts.” You groaned. “Too far, always too far Morticia. God, like Mother like daughter. Goodnight!” You gritted, and the woman laughed.
“Goodnight.” She chuckled, before the phone hung up. You sighed, laying your head back on the couch.
“She always has to take it too far.” You breathed, trying to relax as your head pounded.
“I, thank you.” Larissa said softly, and you opened your eyes. Stars, she was gorgeous. Enchanting even. The light blush on her face had your own heart beating faster.
“You’re thanking me? I’m the one laying on your couch after you so courageously whisked me away.” You smiled, and she swallowed.
“You know what I’m thanking you for.” She said softly, and you sighed, looking at the fire in her living room.
“She’s wrong.” You sighed, already internally berating yourself. Larissa furrowed her brows, and you looked to her. “You’re not just pretty, pretty doesn’t even touch the beauty you hold.” You breathed, and she just stared at you. Yoh panicked as she remained silent. You went too far, just like your sister and niece. You looked back to the fire, anywhere but at the woman. “Apparently you run freezing too, because every room I’ve been in that’s yours is at least fifteen degrees hotter than the rest of the school.” You tried to joke, swallowing down the honesty you had just given her. You were tired, in pain, scared, you just needed to stop talking.
“Ophelia,” she whispered, and you closed your eyes for a moment. You took a shaky breath before you looked back at her, you could do this. She was close, carefully looking at you for signs of something being wrong.
“Yes, Miss Weems?” You asked, and she swallowed.
“You, you’re in pain, you were hit in the head, you don’t know what you’re talking about.” She quickly corrected, looking down, away from your grey eyes, threatening to pull her in.
“God I’d love to meet whoever made you feel that way.” You sighed, staring at the woman in front of you. You couldn’t help it, it seemed, she just pulled the truth from you, your very heart singing words of honesty for her. “Clearly they must have been blind.” You whispered. She blushed, shaking her head still. “I should go.” You said, attempting to stand. She stopped you, her hand reaching around and holding you still.
“You need to stay, you’re hurt.” She swallowed. You couldn’t go, not now. Not when you were so close, not when she felt like she was really looking at you, when she felt like you were really looking at her.
“Not that hurt.” You tried to smile back. You went to get up again and again she kept you still. You looked to her, raising a brow. She still wouldn’t look at you. She couldn’t. She could just refuse to move and pray you didn’t push her away. You hummed, stilling slightly. “You’ve made me your prisoner then.” You tried to joke. It was all landing wrong, you had said too much, pushed her too far.
It was silent for a moment as she thought, trying to find the words. You had to be kind like this to everyone, she rationalized, yet she hadn’t seen it. Still, she was your sister’s former, whatever she was. Lover? Certainly not ex. Morticia had never given her the privilege of being in a true relationship. She would string her along, sure, promise things, but nothing ever came of it, only heartbreak. You, on the other hand, said many beautiful things, but she couldn’t figure out why, she couldn’t figure out what you wanted.
“Why do you say things like that?” She asked you, and you sighed, unsure of what to say.
“Say things like what?” You asked her.
“Why do you call me beautiful? To tease me? Because you know what your sister and I did together? Why? What does it do for you?” She asked you, clenching her jaw. It hurt. Memories of what Morticia had done, the shame she made her feel, it hurt. She liked you, for some ungodly reason, but she couldn’t trust you, not yet.
“Oh,” you breathed. She thought you were teasing her. She thought it was some sort of trick, a conquest. There was a time when your sister had spoken of her like that. A time when everything was a game. “Oh she really did hurt you, didn’t she?” You whispered. You sighed, taking her hand. Larissa looked to you surprised. “Let me show you something?” You asked her, and she tried to pull back, shaking her head.
“If this is more of your games-“ She began, she had been through enough already.
“Let me show you, please.” You repeated. She swallowed, staring at you hand. You waited, patiently, watching her. She waited for a moment, scanning your eyes, piercing into you, looking for any sign of a trap, of mockery, of I’ll intention. There was none, not that she could find, so she nodded. You smiled just a touch, and closed your eyes as the vision took you.
Larissa felt the pull again, the feeling of her soul pulling down deep into her body before careening into you. There was a moment where she felt you, felt your heartbeat, your warmth, your comfort. If she could breathe in this space she would have gasped, would have cried. In that one moment, she knew what it was like to feel safe, to feel protected by you. Then it was over.
It was cold, and grey. That was the first thing Larissa noticed, and then she heard the screaming. She turned to see Morticia, not you, fighting off a man in a white orderly’s uniform.
“Let me in! Let me in she’s my sister you pigheaded fuck!” She screamed. Larissa gasped as she watched Morticia scream and rage, fighting off the man, clawing at him, scratching at him, she almost looked feral. She couldn’t be more than sixteen. Larissa knew her then, always so calm and sultry, but this, this was like nothing she had ever seen. “I’ll fucking kill you!” She screamed, shoving the man back. He hit his head on the wall, slumping into the ground.
Larissa gasped, her hands flying to her mouth as Morticia ignored him, ripping open a door and rushing inside. She followed her, but froze in the doorway. Her blood ran cold. It was a corpse, it had to be. She saw the normally wild red hair had lost its shine, it’s lustre, it was matted around your head. Your cheeks and eyes were sunken in to the point where there couldn’t have possibly been any life left. You were thin. Inhumanely thin, you looked like a skeleton. She watched as Morticia rushed to your side, grasping your hand.
“Please, please Ophelia, fight it. Fight them.” She whispered. “Please, I- I’m sorry I didn’t come sooner, I’m sorry.” She cried, Larissa watching in shock as you didn’t move. You were breathing, barely, but still. The only reason she believed you survived was that a part of her knew you were with her right now, in her rooms, your hands entwined. She realized in horror that you were strapped down, leather cuffs around your wrists keeping you there. She stepped closer, horrified by the living corpse laying in the bed.
“Come on Ophelia, please, you have to keep fighting. I’m going to get you out of here, I promise. I’m going to get you out and, and you’re going to meet Gomez, and Larissa, and so many people. I’m going to show you Nevermore! And you can come to the Rave’n and everything, please, please wake up.” The young woman sobbed. Larissa watched as she clasped one of your hands, holding you tight. “Look into my mind, Ophelia, you can do it. Look, you’d love her, Larissa, you’d just love her, and Gomez, well, he and I will get married someday, but you don’t care about that. Look at her, Ophelia, she looks like your favorite, that’s what you would say, white irises, your favorite. Come on, please, just look. I know you know there’s still beauty out there, look!” She cried out.
Larissa gaped at the scene. Morticia was taking about her. You were dying, and Morticia was talking about her. She saw your fingers move slightly in Morticia’s palm, you gripped onto her weakly, and the girl slumped forward, falling into the bed with you. It was silent for a moment, nothing but the two of you in the bed together, your sister clutching onto your hand. It was like the life had been sucked out of the room. Then your eyes fluttered open, they were dull, lifeless. You looked to your sister first, exhaustion clear on your face.
“Thank you Tich.” You rasped, and Larissa gasped as she heard your voice. It was so broken. You looked at her then, your deadened eyes piercing her. The world stood still. This was the place, she realized. This is why you were scared. This is where they had sent you when Morticia went to Nevermore, this was Newflight.
“Ah,” you realized, and the tall woman thought she might collapse right then and there. “You don’t feel beautiful?” You asked her, your voice so quiet and broken she could barely hear you.
“I-“ She stuttered, gaping at you. What could she say, she had no idea.
“That’s why I’m showing you this? Isn’t it?” You rasped, and she nodded mutely. “I’m dying. I gave up.” You murmured. “It was too long, even for me, too long. Tich came to save me.” You tried to laugh, but the sound just came out as a death rattle. “She wanted to show me beauty, she chose you.” You rasped. She wanted to ask you why. She wanted to know why Morticia chose her, why not anything else. “Considering you’re here with me, it worked, didn’t it?” You whispered, and your eyes slid shut again.
This time Larissa closed her eyes as the darkness surrounded her, surrendering to it. It was a moment before she came to, her breath shuddering as the warmth from the fireplace helped her back to her body. She could still feel your heartbeat, she realized. You were with her. She woke up next to you, her hand in your own. Her eyes fluttered open and fixed on you, once again you were staring into the fire, not looking at her.
“I call you beautiful, because I think you are beautiful. There’s no game in it.” You said softly, a tear slipping down your face. She reached for you, her hand wiping the tear away and turning you towards her. She never wanted to see you cry again.
“I- you- why me?” She breathed, and you finally looked at her. She gasped as she saw the intensity in your eyes, the light in them, the power.
“Why did she choose you? I don’t really know.” You breathed. “Because you reminded her of my favorite flower, because she cared for you, in her way. She wasn’t in love with you, but she loved you.” You sighed. “Beleive me when I say she wanted you, but it wasn’t a good want. Even I, even I know that.” You sighed. Larissa stared at you in shock. You knew more than you were letting on, she knew that much.
“As for why did it work?” You continued, and she nodded. “Because you are.” You whispered, taking her hand from your face and running your own over it a few times. “You are all those things, and so much more than an object of my sister’s attraction.” You sighed “So much more.” You repeated, as if reminding yourself of something. “Goodnight, Larissa.” You whispered, standing.
“I- you’re hurt.” She protested, and you smiled.
“I’ve seen worse.” You said softly, leaving her room and her, heading to your own. She stared at the door after you left. Her heart pounded in her chest. You thought she was beautiful, and she felt it.
Chapter 6: Two Steps Forward, One Step Back
Summary:
Larissa learns more about you through your interactions with others, specifically Wednesday and your sister. She also learns a bit of how others see you, and how you see yourself, resulting in her getting just close enough to see what you want, and reeling at the realization.
Notes:
Hello lovelies! Let me know what you think!
Chapter Text
How Larissa Weems ended up on a dock, with you, and your niece, watching you instruct her on how to fence using any tactic other than fencing, would be a question the woman would be asking herself for the rest of time.
You were having a wonderful time, clearly, your hair messily tied back as you corrected the girl’s posture, who was currently standing one legged on a giant lily pad you had bloomed for her.
“This is dehumanizing, Auntie.” The girl deadpanned, and you laughed, rolling your eyes.
“Balance is for more than just the blade, dear.” You repeated. You had worn another floor length skirt today, and a loose blouse, the chiffon flowing in the wind as you stood on the dock, watching her. Larissa swallowed as she looked to the little bit of skin exposed, watching you closely. You still wore a mock turtleneck underneath the blouse, but her eyes were fixed on every inch of skin she could possibly see. Your hands in particular, you didn’t wear gloves when you were just with your niece, and she swallowed as she realized that you hadn’t put them on when she had joined you two. It was almost like you were comfortable, like you didn’t mind her looking at your blackened fingers, and look she did.
“Is it really necessary to do this out here?” Larissa asked you, and you shrugged, leaning closer to her. Her breath caught, you hovered just close enough for her to hear, but not touching. You were always so mindful of that, you didn’t touch. No matter how close you got to her, unless there was another literal emergency, you didn’t touch. She wished you did, that you weren’t so aware of yourself all the time, that you would mess up just once.
“Not at all, but it is distracting her.” You whispered, and Larissa looked to you surprised. You were being ridiculous on purpose, it seemed. Wednesday stumbled as the breeze pushed a stick by, shaking her lily pad and forcing her to put her foot down.
“Again.” You smirked, and the girl glared at you. You were strict, Larissa realized. Almost brutally strict when it came to this. You were still encouraging, but she could see the precision with which you instructed her. You were protecting her, she realized, even now. You were finding a way to protect her.
“I hate this.” The girl said, and you raised a brow.
“Alright then.” You said, and you walked down the dock, slipping off your shoes. Larissa watched as you stepped onto the lily pad with her, waving your hand and drawing a few more from the water. Eventually you had formed a tentative surface over the area of the creek you were at. You rolled your neck, stepping out from one to the other easily. She watched you in amazement, you just moved about as if you were floating on the water itself. How you could have that much control over your own body floored her. “Knock me off.” You challenged, and the girl rolled her eyes.
“Really?” She asked. You shrugged, and the girl bent her knees, prepping a bit.
“She- you’re in a skirt, Ophelia, on the water.” Larissa reminded you, already exasperated. She did not have the strength to deal with you falling into the water right now. She could barely deal with you in general. You just smirked.
“Oh, I’ll figure it out.” You hummed, and Wednesday rolled her eyes. She approached, wobbling slightly on the lilipads. You just smiled, raising your brows. She readied her fists and you nodded, bending your knees slightly.
She swung wide, to her right, she always lead with her right hand. You effortlessly caught her fist, redirecting the move past your body and sending the girl stumbling behind you as you turned to face her again. She glared and you let your lips turn up slightly into a smile on one side.
Larissa gasped, you were fast.
She hurled herself at you again, this time faking to the left before dropping to the ground, attempting to swipe your feet out from under you with a kick. You breathed evenly, jumping up over her leg and weaving around her, forcing her to crawl backwards, you just walked forward calmly, giving her time to get up again.
This time she was frustrated, actually frustrated, and Larissa watched with bated breath as she launched herself towards you, unleashing a fury of blows. You blocked each one, deflecting her and throwing her off her balance. She was mesmerized by how you moved. You were precise, yet there was fluidity in it, you moved as if you were dancing, gracefully, never a step out of place.
Wednesday threw everything she had at you, panting as you just wove around her like water around a stone. It was insane. The white haired woman gaped as you moved, your body swirling and whirling around with barely perceived effort. Your clothes flowed with you, your skirt twirling just enough to reveal your bare feet, your shirt loose on your body showing the tight turtleneck you wore underneath, your skin always covered as you moved like a force of nature.
You were strong, yet everything was in measure, and Larissa watched in utter amazement at the way your body bended and twisted. You never landed a hit on your niece, not even trying, you just redirected her and twisted around her, using her own momentum against her.
Wednesday tripped when you redirected yet another blow, careening towards the edge of the lily pads. Larissa gasped and you reached out, catching the girl by the arm as she fell towards the water. You helped her up, and Wednesday panted. You let out a deep breath as you laughed a little.
“I almost got you that time.” The girl said, and you chuckled, nodding.
“You were certainly closer.” You breathed, winking at her. Larissa raised her brows. That was closer? Heaven help anyone you hadn’t literally trained to fight.
“Teaching, are we?” Came a voice from over the hill, and you turned, a smile on your face as you looked to your sister, walking down to the dock. Larissa cringed as she recognized the voice.
“Well considering she fences even worse than you do, I figured I might as well show her a thing or two.” You replied, and the woman smirked at your antics. You walked up to the dock, going to her as she stepped onto the wood. Larissa noticed as you pulled your gloves from your waistband, quickly slipping them on, almost subconsciously as you went to her.
“How long has it been?” She asked you, and you sighed.
“Almost two years, I believe.” You said, and she smiled as she looked at you.
“Too long.” She said, embracing you, and you hugged her back stiffly before working your way down the dock again, collecting her daughter from the stream before you waved a hand, the lilypads you had created seeming to shrink in on themselves and disappear. You didn’t want to affect the natural ecosystem, after all.
“And how were you seduced into this, Issa?” Morticia asked the headmistress, and you pretended not to listen to them speaking.
“After recent events I am hesitant to let Wednesday off school grounds alone.” She replied properly, and you nearly rolled your eyes. You wouldn’t even think the two women had lived together.
“Are you sure it’s not something else that drew you out?” Morticia asked, stepping closer. Larissa froze, tempted to step back but not sure what to do. Morticia had always teased her, getting just a bit too close, her touch lingering just a bit too long. She had Gomez, she didn’t know what she needed Larissa for, yet the woman mocked her anyway. Morticia reached for her, her hand almost brushing her face when you cleared your throat.
“If you’re done flirting with someone other than your husband, we can go inside Tich.” You quipped, and the woman’s eyes flashed as she looked to you.
“Oh my dear sister, if I had commuted half the atrocities you have to that woman I wouldn’t be caught dead anywhere but begging for her forgiveness.” You snipped back, and Morticia’s mask of perfection flickered for a moment. Larissa, on the other hand, stared at you in disbelief. She had heard how sharp your tongue could be when defending your niece, but she didn’t expect you to use it for her sake, certainly not against your own sister. She swallowed, fighting back a blush as she watched your unbothered smile.
“It’s not my fault the woman so effortlessly takes up space.” Morticia retorted, and you scoffed. The dig was obvious, but as long as Larissa didn’t react, you wouldn’t stop your sister.
“Subtle,” you remarked anyway. “Come on.” You muttered, picking up your shoes before moving on, and she followed you. The two women and your niece walked with you back to the school, making their way into Larissa’s office without question. You stood by the door as Larissa sat at her desk, Morticia and Wednesday sitting across from her. Larissa pulled out a file, carefully handing it to your sister.
“This is, for lack of a better term, an incident report.” The headmistress said handing it over. Morticia took it, looking it over as Larissa continued. “Mr. and Mrs. Frump will not be allowed on school ground again, I can assure you. The security we have in place is-“
“He tried to choke you?” Your sister asked quietly, staring at the paper in shock. You froze, looking between her and your young niece. Wednesday did not need to know that, and your sister shouldn’t have to worry, certainly not about you.
“It, wasn’t bad, it’s alright, that’s not what we’re here to discuss.” You said softly, staying by the door. Morticia stood, turning to face you.
“Come here.” She asked you, and you swallowed.
“Tich, I’m fine, let’s just-“
“Come here.” She said again, and you sighed, walking over to your sister. Her hands slowly went to your face, and you turned your head away, stepping back. Larissa furrowed her brows slightly, you didn’t even let your sister touch your bare skin?
“Oh,” Morticia breathed. “Ophelia, I-“ she didn’t know what to say.
“Let’s focus, Tich.” You said softly, and she nodded, agreeing reluctantly. You watched for the rest of the meeting, discussing what would be done in the future if the couple showed up, security measures, everything. You stood quietly, your presence calming your niece and sister. Larissa watched the way they acted around you, Wednesday seemed to inch towards you, Morticia seemed to inch away. It was interesting if nothing else, the way the two Addams tried to navigate you. Morticia seemed comfortable with you there, but didn’t seem to want to be too close. Her daughter, on the other hand, wanted to be closer. The meeting ended after a bit, and your sister turned to you.
“Will you come with us to lunch?” She asked you, and you raised a brow.
“You want to get lunch?” You asked her.
“Is that so strange?” She replied, and you sighed.
“Yes, but alright.” You said, holding your hands together. Morticia caught the nervous tick, looking at your gloves.
“You can take them off you know, it’s just us.” She said. You stiffened slightly, but smiled.
“I’d rather have them on.” You said calmly, and Morticia looked at you strangely. She stepped over to you, and Larissa watched the interaction with interest.
“Are you scared?” She asked you, and you internally scoffed.
“No.” You replied calmly, and your sister raised a brow.
“Something you don’t want to show me?” She asked you, and again you bit back a reaction. Of course she would think it’s about her. She always would.
“Perhaps I’m just more comfortable with them on.” You pointed, and she shook her head.
“Wednesday, go gather your things, we’ll go to lunch with your aunt in a moment.” She instructed her daughter, and you raised a brow. Wednesday eyed you both as she left, clearly curious as to what the conversation could possibly be about. Larissa, on the other hand, had a front row seat to you two interacting.
“Morticia, really?” You sighed, and your sister grabbed you hand, making you jump. You hated when she did that. The gloves meant nothing could happen, but you wrapped your free hand around her wrist, pulling her away and stepping around her, moving closer to the other woman in the room. Larissa swallowed, realizing you had come to her. You did it subconsciously, moving towards her the second you became uncomfortable. Your sister smirked, watching you.
“Oh you are hiding something.” She hummed, and you rolled your eyes.
“Even if I was, I am entitled to my own thoughts.” You glared at her.
“Come on, you know I’m always on your side, I just want to help.” She smirked. You scoffed. Of course she would have this conversation in front of Larissa too. Your sister loved an audience.
“What makes you think I need help?” You asked her. The woman looked entirely too proud of herself for a moment, and your eyes went wide.
Shit.
“Perhaps the fact that despite the fact that you’ve covered almost every inch of your skin, I can still see you aching to be-“
“Morticia!” You yelled. The woman rolled her eyes. “I’ll meet you in the car, funny how you’re shy all of a sudden.” She murmered, leaving the room. You sighed, pinching your nose for a moment, calming yourself.
“Sorry, I’m sure you’re aware my sister hardly has boundaries.” You breathed, before looking to the headmistress behind her desk. She was standing, staring at you intently. You wore another mock turtleneck under your open blouse, meaning she couldn’t really see anything. Your legs were covered by the floor length skirt, your hands by your gloves.
You looked back, she was in a grey trench coat, a matching pencil skirt and blouse underneath, her usual heels, dressed impeccably, as always. She stepped over to you, walking around her desk, and you turned to face the woman. God, she was gorgeous.
“You don’t let her touch you?” She asked, and you tilted your head.
“Sometimes, it depends.” You muttered, staring up at her. You were mesmerized. Her red painted lips parted slightly as she looked at you, her eyes searching your face for something. Her hand slowly reached for your arm, watching your eyes for any sign of a reaction.
You didn’t move, simply stared at her as she slowly wrapped her hand around your wrist, pulling your gloved fingers closer to her. Your breath hitched slightly, but you let her, allowing her to do what she pleased. She slowly pulled your glove off, staring at you as she did, still looking for doubt, for anything.
“Do you truly crave being touched?” She whispered, and your eyes went wide. By her, undoubtedly, but by most, absolutely not.
“I think it would depend on the person.” You rasped. She swallowed, nodding. You inhaled sharply as she took your hand, her gentle touch surprising you. Her hands were cold, as always, but you were very far from minding it. She slipped her hand around your wrist, her thumb running over your pulse point. You swallowed, she was killing you. You thought you might die if she didn’t just lean down and kiss you right there. She reached under your sleeve slightly, her pointer finger gently caressing your skin, nearly making you shudder.
Then her finger brushed over your scarring, and she froze. Her eyes went wide, her hand retracting almost instantly.
Right.
You swallowed, steeling yourself a little as you pulled away from her, pulling your glove back on.
“Sorry, I- I have to go.” You muttered, and her eyes went wide as she realized what she had just done. You thought she was disgusted, she could tell by the way you moved away from her. You didn’t show fear, you showed pain.
“Ophelia, I didn’t mean-“ she began, and you shook your head, your throat closing up a bit. You didn’t know why you cared, most people were put off by the scars, it was one of the reasons you covered them.
“No, no, I know, it’s alright. They’re rather, difficult.” You nodded, attempting to smile. It looked wrong. She knew it looked wrong, she could see the hurt in your eyes as you turned, taking a deep breath and walking to the door.
“Ophelia,” she called, but you shook your head.
“I will see you later, Miss Weems, I believe there is a faculty meeting tonight.” You swallowed, before heading out the door, and into your sister’s car.
Lunch with your sister and your niece went fine, Wednesday relaxed around her mother eventually, despite her normal demeanor. You watched the two interact, happy to see them together. They both could be difficult, in ways, yet they were similar if they admitted it.
“I’m glad you have a position at Nevermore, Ophelia, even if it is temporary.” Morticia smiled, and you nodded, returning it.
“Me too.” You agreed.
“Perhaps you could even visit us at the manor sometime, if you felt up to it.” She tried, and you smiled a bit uncomfortably. You didn’t visit often, and it had been a while. You and your sister tended to fight occasionally, the tension between you two caused by your parents still very much there. You had visited many times when Wednesday was younger, making sure the girl and her brother always knew you were there if they needed, yet you hesitated to visit their parents alone.
“Maybe.” You nodded.
“Will you visit when I go home for the summer?” Wednesday asked, and Morticia smirked as she did. The both of you knew your niece had you in the palm of her hand, something even your sister couldn’t manage to interviene with.
“Yes, I suppose I can.” You sighed, and the girl seemed pleased. You really were a sucker.
“Good.” She said, moving on. You chuckled at how stoic she could be, despite how young she was. You payed for lunch, despite your sister’s protesting, and rode with Wednesday back to school. The girl went in as you sat with her mother in the car for a moment.
“I’m worried.” Morticia spoke, and you nodded.
“I know. But I’ve got her Tich.” You promised. She nodded, looking to you.
“I couldn’t protect you, but I will protect my daughter.” She said, and you could see the guilt in her eyes. It still hurt her, after all these years. You grimaced, feeling bad for the woman. It wasn’t her fault, the both of you knew that.
“It wasn’t your job to protect me, Morticia. You did much more than you should have ever had to, remember that.” You said to her. She nodded, swallowing, and you shook your head. “Fuck it, come here.” You sighed, pulling the woman in for a hug. She held you tight, holding on to you for a moment.
“I don’t want to loose her like I lost you.” She whispered, her voice low, broken sounding. You inhaled sharply. It was true, the both of you knew it. You still loved each other, but you would never be inseparabile the way you were when you were young. There would always be the past between you.
“You won’t.” You replied, squeezing her once more before you pulled away. “You won’t.” You repeated, looking her in the eyes. She nodded, wiping a few tears away. “Hey, I promise you, I’ve got her, no matter what, alright?” You smiled, and she nodded, finally letting you go.
You left the car, standing at the entrance to the school as it left, watching her go. Tich waved at you, and you returned the gesture, watching as she disappeared down the hill.
It was then that you got to work. You went back to your classroom, the conservatory, prepping for the meeting tonight. As temporary staff you were sure you wouldn’t have to do much, and it was only your first week at Nevermore, but still, you would rather be prepared.
You spent the remaining few hours of the afternoon grading every assignment you could before looking over your plans for each grade and class. What you were teaching was relatively simple, but you still wanted to make sure you were as prepared as possible. You took notes in a small journal, scratching away with your pen before you had to get ready.
You went back to your quarters, they were very nice, a small room and bathroom all to yourself. You internally thanked Larissa for that, you dreaded the idea of having to change to use the shower in front of others. The room was fairly simple, but old, which you enjoyed. You had asked a friend to send over your things from Europe, which would hopefully be arriving soon, but until then you had unpacked the suitcase you had with you into the armoire. The bed was also old, four posters, an old heating system, and a fireplace, yet you loved it.
The sun set and you straightened out your clothing, freshening up and changing into new gloves before taking your journal and heading down to the meeting.
You strode through the doors to the room, an English classroom, you believed, to see various teachers sitting in a circle made of chairs. Also old, as with most of the school’s things. There was something comforting about it to you, you hated the way modern buildings sometimes looked like hospitals. You hated hospitals in general.
You took a seat next to the choir teacher and the history teacher, smiling to both before crossing your legs and tuning into the room. You watched as some spoke to each other, waiting for the headmistress to arrive. An older man stared at you for a moment, and you looked away, not wanting to attract any more attention if he had already made his mind up.
“You must be Miss Florere.” A woman said, walking up to you. You smiled, standing and nodding once.
“I am, I don’t believe we’ve met yet.” You said, and she introduced herself. The two of you talked for a moment before Larissa walked in, calling the meeting to order. You sat again, watching as other teachers did the same.
“Well, shall we get started then?” The tall woman spoke, and you listened as various subjects were broached. A few things about funding requests, a posit for a field trip. Notes about outreach day, the Rave’n, all sorts of things. You sat relatively quietly, listening to all the others speak. Eventually, the man who had been staring at you earlier rose his hand.
“Yes, Mr. Liapin?” Larissa asked, and he looked at you directly, startling you.
“I’m sure I speak for all of the staff when I say I would like to know more about Miss Florere, wouldn’t you Miss Weems?” He said. You sat up a little more, it was a challenge, he didn’t like you, he must have felt threatened. Larissa swallowed.
“Of course, please introduce yourself, Miss Florere.” The woman spoke. You nodded, folding your hands over your crossed knees as you cleared your throat before you spoke.
“Of course, it’s a pleasure to meet those of you I haven’t yet. I am Ophelia Florere, and I am currently teaching botany while a permanent professor is being looked for. I have two doctorate degrees from Edinburg in botany and biology, specializing in Outcast biology, and I have taught at multiple universities in Europe. As I’m sure some of you are already aware, I also happen to be Wednesday Addams’ aunt.” You smiled, looking around the room.
“I’m aware of who you are, Miss Ophelia, what I want to know is why you would be hired to teach children when you were previously committed at Newflight?” He replied. That got your attention. You stiffened.
Larissa looked to you, her eyes widening a fraction. She knew that, it was on your record, not to mention the fact that you had told her about it. You didn’t even blink, just nodded at him. This wasn’t the first time you had been asked this question, she realized. Not even close.
“Ah, you mean the defunct institution responsible for the death of hundreds of children throughout the centuries it was open, yes, I was committed by my biological parents when I was twelve, against my will, and nearly died in its care. After which I aided in an investigation resulting in the place being shut down and the children who were sent there receiving help for the damage it had done.” You said calmly. Larissa’s jaw nearly dropped, she had seen what it had done to you, and somehow you did so much after. “Granted I’m sure you already knew that if you knew enough to ask.” You smiled. He narrowed his eyes at you, staring you down across the room.
“I taught your sister.” He said, and you nodded.
“You teach potion making, I’m sure she excelled.” You nodded. She was always good at that, even if she pestered you for ingredients. She was almost as good at potion making as you were at botany.
“She did.” He said. You waited for him to continue. “I’m sure you don’t like this any more than I do, Miss Florere, so allow me to get to the point.” He gruffed.
“Please.” You nodded, and he stared at you.
“What are your intentions at this school?” He asked you, and you chuckled a bit.
“Am I courting it?” You joked, before looking at him seriously. “I’ve spent my life attempting to undo damage, Mr. Liapin. I’ve had to attempt to make up for the fact that I was simply born the way I am. I’ve created much in that pursuit. I’ve written books, taught countless grad students, written papers, cured poisons. I’ve won prizes as the first female, let alone Outcast, in my field, and I’ve done it all to make up for what my parents, and what I’m sure some of you, may see as a perversion of gifts. Considering you know where I was sent you know I’m a raven, you also can see the gloves on my hands, you know what I can do.” You sighed. “But I am done proving myself to others. I’m tired. I want to help the next generation of those who think they are not worthy, that they cannot do things simply because they were born the way they were. I’m done fighting for myself, Mr. Liapin. I’d much rather fight to give others a better chance.” You finished. He stared at you a moment before standing, walking over to you. You stood to meet him.
“My granddaughter’s name is Rosemary, you saved her in Amsterdam, after the attack on the Outcast hospital. You made a cure for a poison we thought to be incurable.” He said, staring at you. You stared right back. “I hope you stick around, Miss Ophelia. It would be a shame for you to waste such a talent like your sister did.” He said, nodding to you before walking out.
You stared at him as he left, shock quickening your breath. You had been compared to your sister countless times, but never like that. You didn’t know how to respond. That, that was a new one. Instead, you swallowed, staring blankly at the door.
“Is he allowed to just leave?” You asked dumbly, and the teacher next to you laughed.
“He’s almost as old as the school itself, I think he does whatever he pleases.” She said, and you nodded, slowly sitting back down.
“Good to know.” You hummed. The rest of the meeting went by without any oddities. Your mind however, was trapped in a haze, even as the others left the room you stayed, staring at a spot on the wall. Never, ever, had you even been seen as equal to your sister, let alone better at something. You said your goodbyes and headed back to your room, still unsure. It was almost preposterous.
You were taking off your gloves and shoes when someone knocked at the door. You sighed, putting the former back on as you went to answer it.
“Hello, what can I do for- oh.” You breathed, looking up at the tall woman in front of you.
“I need to talk to you.” She rushed, her eyes nervous. You inhaled slowly. You knew what this was. This was the talk where she would apologize for touching your hands, your scarring, and swear she would never do it again. She would ask you to forget about it, and you would do your best to, ignoring the fact that the second her fingers touched you, you felt like you were in heaven, like you had been craving it since the moment you met her. You would do your best to forget about it, and your feelings for the woman would either fade or fester until you had to leave. This would be that conversation.
“Of course.” You said, stepping to the side and allowing the woman in. She stepped into your room, looking around. It was small, yet it was already perfect. She breathed in deeply as she realized the room smelled like you. It overwhelmed her. You always smelled good, very good, like petrichor and flowers. There was always an edge of danger to the way you smelled, something sharp, but irresistible to the woman.
You turned, walking to an electric kettle you had in the corner and pouring two cups of tea. She watched your hands, covered again, as you worked, silently fixing her a cup before handing it to her and sitting on one of the chairs in front of the fireplace. The room held your bed, a small living area, including two large chairs, and a table by the window, which you had set your kettle as well as several plants on.
“It’s rosehip, let me know if you like it.” You hummed, pouring yourself a cup. She sipped it slowly, blowing the steam away first. You tried not to look at the way her lips puckered, at how soft they looked. You wanted to feel them, feel them against your own, against your skin, everywhere. You wanted to show the woman exactly how beautiful you thought she was right then and there.
Instead, you sat your cup down on the small table between the two chairs before lighting the fireplace. She watched as you kneeled on the ground, brushing a few errant curls back before lighting the gas with a long match, adjusting a few things and standing up, brushing your covered hands off on your skirt before sitting down next to the woman, looking at her expectantly.
She watched you, she watched the way you moved, the way you kneeled, how you bent to light the fire. Her eyes bored into you. You wore enough to cover your skin, in this case most of your figure as well. She wanted to rip it off. She wanted it gone. She wanted to grab you and rip off the shirts you were wearing and trace every inch of the scars she had seen. They extended beyond your elbows, they had to lead somewhere. She wondered if they continued up your arms, if your arms were as strong as she imagined. They had to be, you had carried her for fuck’s sake. She wanted to feel them, to feel your skin against her own.
“Larissa.” You said softly, and her eyes snapped back to you. She had been staring where you were kneeling on the floor, her eyes burning a hole into the rug. “Are you alright?” You asked her, a touch of concern in your voice. How dare she, here you were worrying about her while she was imagining feeling you up. She was out of control.
“I- yes, of course, sorry, I just wanted to speak with you about earlier today.” She breathed, getting ahold of herself. She saw the slight tug at your lips, the tightening of your jaw, the discomfort.
“Right.” You sighed, your body stiffening a bit.
“I wanted to apologize.” She said, and you nodded slightly, staring at her. “I didn’t mean-“
“It’s fine, Larissa.” You sighed. You were tired, you didn’t want to do this. How were you always so tired around this woman?
“No, it’s not I didn’t mean to-“ she protested, but you cut her off.
“I don’t care. You accidentally touched a scar, you reacted to it how any normal person would, it’s fine.” You said, and she stared at you for a moment. You didn’t care? No, she could see that you very much did, otherwise you wouldn’t look like you wanted to be anywhere else.
“I don’t think you understand, I meant-“ she tried, and you cut her off yet again.
“I know what you meant to do, you meant to make me feel normal and you feel bad that you didn’t like what you felt, it’s fine.” You rushed again, growing slightly more annoyed. You wanted this to be over, wanted it to be done.
“Ophelia, I-“ She protested, but you wouldn’t let her finish.
“It’s fine!” You yelled. “It’s fine, I know what I look like, I am aware of what they feel like, I don’t care.” You gritted, and her brows furrowed as she glared at you. You weren’t listening, you wouldn’t even give her a chance.
“That’s not what I-“ she began, and you glared right back, standing.
“Just leave it while you’re ahead, I get it, I know what they are! I know what they make me!” You fought. She stood up, matching you. She towered over you, but you looked up anyway, staring at her with unbridled pain in your eyes.
“You’re not listening to me.” She gritted, and you scoffed.
“I don’t have to! I know what this is, you think you’re the first person to be disgusted the second they actually touch anything other than the pretty bits?” You hissed, and she clenched her jaw.
“Ophelia, listen to me-“ she began, and you laughed, you actually laughed at her. She nearly saw red.
“Oh just leave it! Just-“ she growled, grabbing you by the waist and pulling you into her. She grabbed your hand, ripping off the glove and bunching up your sleeve, wrapping her hand around your scarred wrist.
You stared up at her, wide eyed in shock as the woman held you. You held your breath as she glared down at you, the look not at all matching the gentle action of her fingers so delicately running over your scars. You shuddered at the feeling.
“I. Don’t. Care.” She gritted, and you stared up at her in shock. “I came here to apologize for pulling away, I thought you might have been startled by someone touching them. I didn’t realize until after what you thought. Now you will hear me out and then, and only then, will you make your judgement on what I meant.” She said, her voice low as she held you close. You nodded, staring up at her as she looked down at you. You could feel her body pressed against yours, your chests pressed together as she heaved in breath, startling herself with her actions.
“I pulled away because I thought I had hurt you, not because I was disgusted, not because I think they’re anything less then a part of you.” She breathed, and you nodded mutely. You just stared up at her still, unsure of what to do. She slowly released your hand, her fingers running over the scars before they dropped down your wrist, falling past your body to her side. Still she stared.
You were flushed, your eyes wide and dilated as she stared at you, she could see the shock, but she could swear she saw something more. Her entire reputation rested upon the idea that she was in control, she was in control of everything, and after what she had just done…
You were panting, your lips parted as you sucked in breath after breath, trying to keep up with your racing heart. She stared, they were so close, she could just reach down and kiss you if she wanted to. Fuck, she wanted to.
“Ok.” You breathed, and her eyes snapped back to yours.
“Ok?” She whispered, and you nodded.
“Ok.” You repeated. It was then the world came flooding back to her. She startled as she realized she had quite literally forced you to touch her. Not only that but she had grabbed you, without your permission, let alone your consent. Her grip loosened as she panicked, immediately stepping away, but you followed her. She froze as you once again invaded her space, your face still inches from hers.
“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have…” she trailed as your bare hand slowly came to her face. Her eyes widened as you reached up, cupping her jaw gently. You were touching her. Your bare hands were touching her again, and she was on fire.
“Stop apologizing.” You whispered, and she swallowed as you leaned in closer. She leaned down a bit. You couldn’t reach her, not unless she started. She could kiss you, you were looking at her like you wanted her to kiss you. She watched as red flowers bloomed in your hair, the sight making her heart race impossibly faster.
“What does red mean?” She whispered, and you looked confused for a moment before you realized she was talking about your hair, the tiny flowers in it.
“It means I want something.” You whispered back. She swallowed.
“What do you want?” She breathed, and you looked into her eyes with such passion she thought it might bring her to her knees.
“I think you know the answer to that Larissa.” You whispered back. She nodded dumbly, she wanted you too, she knew that. She could feel it in her entire body. But you were Morticia’s sister for God’s sake! You were her employee! You were a student’s aunt! She couldn’t, there were so many reasons she couldn’t. You were already something of a scandal, if she did this she would just make it worse. She would loose control, she couldn’t handle it.
“Ophelia, I- I shouldn’t.” She whispered. And you froze. It was over. You swallowed, pulling away and turning, hiding your face from her for a moment. “I’m sorry.” She said, stepping towards you, but you didn’t turn back, instead you just stood still for a moment. You tried to calm yourself as your heart and head ran a mile a minute.
“I told you Larissa,” you sighed. “Stop apologizing.” You said softly, before turning around and looking up at her, or attempting too before it became too much. She nodded.
“I should go.” She said, and you nodded back.
“Yeah, I, alright.” You agreed, unsure. She walked awkwardly to the door, looking back one more time to see you standing by the fire, one hand on your hip and the other on your collar as you stared at the ground, fully out of it. Her heart ached as she realized she was the reason. She had tortured you, and she hated herself for it.
“Goodnight, Ophelia.” She said softly, it hurt. It hurt to leave you. She barely knew you, she didn’t know why she should care. Yet she did know you. She knew how you felt, she had been inside your memories. You had been reading about her since you were a child. It felt like meeting someone she had known her entire life, yet it wasn’t enough, it couldn’t be enough.
“Goodnight, Miss Weems.” You said softly, nodding one more time as she left. You stood alone in your room, watching the fire burn too hot.
Chapter 7: First Look
Summary:
The day is longer than ever, for the both of you. You do your very best to ignore each other after last night, however it just leads to you both getting closer than before.
Chapter Text
She dreamed of you. She dreamed of your hands, your blackened fingers running over her skin. She dreamed of your lips meeting hers, again and again, you were ravenous, you couldn’t stop. She dreamed of how it would feel, of your warm hands on her hips, your lips on her neck, your hair falling over your shoulders. She could feel your lips kissing down, and down, and down, so close to where she needed you, you were right there. She arched up into you, fisting her hands into your hair and making you moan against her skin. It sent a chill up her spine, panting as your lips finally met her inner thighs. She spread her legs further, pulling your hair closer. You were so close, just one more inch-
And the alarm rang.
Larissa gasped as she woke, her head already throbbing with frustration. Her head, however, paled in comparison to the aching between her thighs. She swallowed, pushing it down. It wasn’t real, it was just a dream, she reminded herself. Just a dream.
She got ready for the day, like any other, doing her absolute best to think of anything other than the ache in her lower stomach, or you, who had caused it. She rolled her hair into pristine curls and applied her makeup with immaculate precision. She got dressed, her clothes matching perfectly as always, before slipping on her heels and heading to her office downstairs. She drank a cup of tea, trying to enjoy the peace that lasted for approximately forty seconds before Enid burst into her office. The woman gasped, jumping as she looked at the young blonde.
“Miss Sinclair!” She yelped, only to see the girl’s wild eyes. She knew that look, she was an expert in that look. That was the look of a child who was in crisis. “What happened?” She asked, and the girl looked like she might explode.
“One of the- Eugene- in the lake- can’t swim-“ she panted, and Larissa was moving before Enid could get out another word. She ran down to the lake at break-neck speed, her heels clacking as she went. She sprinted out of the building and onto the field, running down to the lake, finding Wednesday already there, of course.
“Wednesday, what happened?” She yelled, and the girl turned to her before looking just over her shoulder at something. The braided girl blatantly ignored her, instead talking behind her.
“Enid said he can’t swim, he’s been under for over a minute!” She yelled, and she heard an exceedingly frustrated groan behind her. She watched in shock as you ran down to the docks, stripping off your sweater, leaving you in a thin silk nightgown. Holy hell you were fit.
“Motherfucking idiots.” You breathed, running off the dock and diving into the water. Larissa watched in shock, standing there as she watched you disappear below the surface.
“Can she swim?” The woman panicked, you had just dove into the lake! Completely unprompted! How did you even know to be here, Enid had came to get her, Wednesday had stayed by the lake. The water was murky, only the siren students really swam in it, and you just went in after a student who couldn’t swim. You could drown, she realized in utter panic. Wednesday just looked at her.
“She did just dive into a lake, so I think so.” The girl said, and Larissa wanted to scream. Now was not the time for her snark! Then she saw a few bubbles on the lake’s surface. She held her breath as a giant lily pad erupted from the surface of the water, holding you and Eurgene in your arms on it. You gasped, tossing your hair back as you picked him up, carrying him onto the docks. Holy hell you looked like a daughter of Aphrodite herself. Larissa gaped at you before realizing now was far from the time. You turned the kid over, slapping him on the back, hard.
“Ophelia!” Larissa yelled, CPR would have been a good reaction, but no, you had to hit him. The boy coughed up a good deal of water before sucking a massive breath in, panting. You sighed in relief, sitting on the dock as you yourself panted, clearly out of breath.
“Girls, take him to the infirmary.” You panted, and they nodded, picking their friend up. He seemed alright, out of it, but alright. “Wednesday, I expect an explanation for why you were messing around at the lake at SEVEN IN THE GODDAMN MORNING when he’s all taken care of!” You hollered, and the girl cringed, her and Enid walking off guiltily, their friend between them.
You collapsed back on the dock, laying down in your soaked through night slip, staring up at the sky. It was clear out today, and the sun would at least help with the fact that you were currently next to naked laying on a dock. At least there were no students around.
“Give me like, two minutes.” You panted, and Larissa just stared down at you in shock. Then she realized what you were wearing, or rather what you weren’t. The slip only came down to your mid thigh, and your arms were completely bare. She swallowed as she took you in. You were panting, your chest heaving as you tried to steady your breath.
The flushed skin on display nearly had Larissa panting herself. The scars she had seen on your wrists did travel up your arms, wrapping around your forearms and biceps a few times before disappearing. The pale lines only showcased the subtle strength of your arms. You were strong, that was apparent, but you were also graceful, in a way. You were, beautiful. Any dream she had could never compare to just looking at you. Yet last night she had left you, alone. She had left this.
Your face was heavily flushed, without any of your makeup, and your hair was weighed down by water. The nightdress clung to your body, showing your full chest and hips. You were similar to your sister, but slightly smaller and considerably stronger. You hadn’t had children, your body was never changed by them. Your legs looked strong too, the muscle of your thigh showing. Where Morticia was severe, you were enchanting. It was shocking to see, the valleys of your collarbones, the way the wet dress clung to you like a second skin. She wanted to kneel down and peel it off of you, to trace every part of your body with her hands until she had committed you to memory, until you were hers, forever and always. She knew she would likely never get the chance again with how careful you were to cover your skin. You were nearly naked, almost every inch of your skin offered up to the woman, who could only stare.
“You’re staring.” You huffed, and Larissa blushed, your eyes were still closed, however you seemed to know.
“I didn’t mean-“ she began, but you cut her off.
“You can stare, if you want to stare.” You sighed. You groaned a little bit as you sat up, stretching your neck from side to side. You were looking out at the water, the headmistress behind you. You were beautiful. Free in the morning air, sitting on the dock as if nothing could stop you. Stunning. You were breathtaking.
“Students will be getting up soon.” She whispered, and you nodded, enjoying the freedom for a moment.
“Give me one more minute of feeling before I have to cover it all again.” You said quietly. “Let me feel the breeze on my skin.” You breathed, closing your eyes and tilting your head back. She watched as you smiled, feeling the world around you. This is what you missed, she realized. Making others comfortable, you cut yourself off from the very nature that grew from you. You took one final deep breath before you stood, shivering in the cool air.
“Alright then, good morning.” You swallowed, giving her an awkward nod as you headed back towards the school. You were leaving? You couldn’t just leave! She couldn’t let you leave again, she had let you leave last night.
“Ophelia,” the woman called, running up next to you. She didn’t know what to say. She had nothing she could say.
“Yes?” You turned to her, wrapping your arms over your chest. She stared at them for a moment. The scars were almost, beautiful, in a way. Like white rose vines, tracing over your skin. Had it not been for the color, she would believe they were tattoos. You looked back to the school as you saw a student wandering around and instantly shrunk back, stepping closer to the woman in an attempt to hide yourself.
Her breath hitched with the action, it was almost heartbreaking. She took off her long grey coat, wrapping it around your shoulders, making you jump.
“Thank you.” You said quietly, and the woman nodded, staring at you as you rushed off inside, to get ready for the day. She panicked as you left, realizing that in all likelihood you were horrified by the interaction. Just last night she had walked out on you, now she had stared at you while you were practically naked and soaking wet after pulling a student out of the lake. You had to hate her, there was no way you didn’t. Larissa watched you disappear into the building, a headache building all over again as she internally screamed at herself. You had left your sweater, she realized, and she picked it up, the oversized thing soft in her hands. She swallowed as she held it close, taking it back to her office with her.
You, on the other hand, were trying not to do the same. If the woman thought you were a bad idea, that was fine. What was not fine, however, was the fact that she had seen you practically naked while trying to help a student, and then stared at you like she wanted to do all sorts of things. All sorts of things that were far, far too tempting. And then give you her coat! The woman was driving you insane, you half thought you were going to jump off the tower at this point. You went to your room instead, taking off her coat and laying it over one of the chairs. She couldn’t look at you like that and not expect you to want her.
You showered before quickly getting ready for your first class, doing your best to put the tall woman out of your head. Your first class went fine, as did your second. You worked your way through a planning period and lunch before your third and fourth classes. The third went smoothly, and only the fourth remained. Wednesday’s class, lovely.
You took a deep breath, preparing yourself as a few students walked into the room. You smiled and waved to all of them, waiting until everyone had filed in and taken their seats.
“Alright, so today we will be learning about the various medicinal uses of common flowers and herbs.” You smiled, and you watched as a few students opened their books, a few others groaning. “We’ve already had this lesson, I take it?” You asked them, and Xavier scoffed.
“Only from every substitute we’ve had so far. And the last teacher.” He muttered. You nodded, looking through your plans.
“Alright, well I have to cover it, it’s in the syllabus, but I can always try to do it in a more interesting way.” You sighed, thinking for a moment. A few of them perked up. “Alright, everyone up, tables to the edge of the room please, things on the tables, let’s go.” You smiled, this would be fun. Wednesday raised a brow and you winked at her, causing her to smirk a little. Whenever you got an idea, it would certainly be an interesting one.
“Fair warning, the floor is about to move.” You chuckled before stomping your foot. A few of the students yelped as plants sprung from between the cobblestone, sprouting up and forming an incredible meadow full of different types of plants. You grew bushes, flowers, grasses, small shrubs, all sorts of things with just a flick of your wrist, leaving your students gaping at the transformed landscape. You chuckled and called vines down from the ceiling, hanging plants and flowers cascading down until the entire room looked like a small jungle.
Enid nearly squealed in joy, jumping around amazed as Bianca stared in wonder. Wednesday smirked, and even Xavier looked around mystified. You clapped twice, calling the students’ attention.
“Alright, I am a normie traveler who instead of listening to their tour guide, decided to start messing about with random things and has fallen. I am bleeding from my hands and knees, have a broken leg, as well as possibly having been exposed to several toxic plants such as Jimsonweed, Oleander, Hemlock, and Belladonna, better known as?” You questioned, and a few hands shot up. “Enid?” You called, and the girl beamed.
“Deadly nightshade!” She said, and you smiled.
“Precisely.” You hopped up on the teaching desk you had left at the center of the classroom, sitting on it and setting a stopwatch on your phone. “You have 25 minutes before symptoms start showing, off you go.” You smiled, and you watched as a few students looked around wondering what to do. You chuckled a bit. “I have provided everything you need to treat the injuries I have described, as well as several plants known to counteract the ones I just listed. Separate yourself into teams and bring me what I need, as well as a plan to hold me over until we have time to get to the hospital.” You explained.
A few students just stared for a moment before Wednesday grabbed Enid’s hand, leading her over to a corner. The rest of them got the hint and started foraging about. You watched happily as they worked, some taking out their notes and comparing different plants, some arguing over what particular plants were, others trying to figure out how to set a broken leg in the wild.
You liked watching them work, seeing the way they wrapped their head la around the problems, trying to come up with solutions. You could see some of them get frustrated, but most would rely on each other, a good trait to use in this case. About twenty minutes in you could tell one team in particular was struggling, and you kept an eye on them. One of them eventually got frustrated, throwing down the notebook he was holding.
“Fuck this shit.” He gritted, and you raised a brow.
“Excuse me, Mr. Grey?” You asked him and he scoffed.
“I know who you are, ya know, I’m not learning shit from some stupid lesbian eccentric who gets high off of poison.” He scoffed, and you stiffened. That was a new one.
“Aaand you can go if you would like, but I expect to see you in Miss Weems office after the period is over, thank you.” You said calmly, watching as the kid picked his stuff up angrily and stormed out. Wednesday glared at him murderously, but you caught the girls eye, shaking your head. You would take care of it. If you let the girl have her way he would probably wake up with a dead bird crucified next to him.
The rest of the class period went well, all the other teams completing the assignment, Wednesday and Bianca’s respective teams neck and neck, and you were happy with all of them.
“I’m very impressed, you all did wonderfully! Hopefully this wasn’t too boring.” You chuckled, and smirked when you saw some smiles and head shaking around the classroom. “Now for homework if you would please write one to two pages on what you used, why you would use it, and something new you learned today, I would like to read them by next week. Until then, class dismissed.” You smiled, and the bunch of them gathered their things, running off excitedly. You smiled as they went, happy to see that at least some of them appreciated the lesson.
You began returning your room back to normal, pushing the desks into their proper place as students filtered out. Enid stayed behind this time, helping you, and you thanked her, smiling gratefully as she pushed the tables back with ease.
“I really enjoyed the lesson today.” She said, and you nodded.
“I’m glad, you and Wednesday did exceptionally.” You smiled, and she nodded.
“More Wednesday than anything, but you know.” She brushed you off. You hummed.
“Mmm, I don’t know, I saw you suggest a few things that my niece never would have tried on her own.” You said, and the girl lit up, looking to you. She hesitated for a moment before speaking again.
“Can I ask you something?” She asked, and you laughed internally at the question.
“Of course you can, what is it?” You nodded, and she swallowed.
“Are you actually, you know, do you like uh, women?” She asked, and you laughed a little. So Wednesday was not the one who spread that around, thankfully.
“Well it’s nice to know the kid got that piece of information from somewhere other than my niece, but yes, I do. However it is not exactly the kind of thing I would normally discuss with a student.” You smiled, and she nodded.
“Well it’s nice to know the kid got that piece of information from somewhere other than my niece, but yes, I do. However it is not exactly the kind of thing I would normally discuss with a student.” You smiled, and she nodded.
“Right, right. Just if, say, a student was curious, and they knew that their pack- or family, wouldn’t exactly be very happy with that, could they come to you for advice?” She asked, and you stopped, turning to face her. “Hypothetically!” She added, and you nodded.
“They could, and I would be happy to help as best I could. Right now though, I’m afraid I have to go to a meeting with the headmistress and Mr. Grey. Perhaps the student could meet me over lunch sometime?” You asked and the girl nodded, running off. You sighed, she was a werewolf, that was tough, pack mentalities often meant they were less accepting of non child rearing-focused relationships.
You breathed deeply, straightening the final things in the room before heading up to Larissa’s office, hoping the boy would already be there. The secretary waved you in, and you opened the door to find a furious Larissa looking at a boy who might very well piss himself. You tried not to smirk at the situation, that would be juvenile, after all.
“I take it we already know what this is about then.” You sighed, standing behind the other chair opposite the headmistress.
“I’m sorry, Miss Florere.” The boy muttered, and you nodded.
“Yes, I’m sure you are, however that doesn’t change what you said.” You said calmly. You sat in the chair next to him, and he looked at you in utter shame as the headmistress fumed in front of the both of you. “Now I’m sure you called me those things because you were frustrated, and I understand that, however I want you to think of how what you said might impact other students.” You said calmly. The boy looked at you.
“You’re not mad?” He asked, and you shrugged.
“Well, I can’t say I enjoy it when people try to insult me, but I can understand that if you wanted to get a reaction out of me, that’s what you would have said. I’m sure you’ve heard people say those things about others before when they wanted to discredit them.” You explained. “What I am worried about is the fact that well, one of them is just untrue, I don’t ‘get high off of poison’ and another might be used to hurt other students. While who I choose to date is quite frankly, no one’s concern, especially not a student’s, have you considered that framing it as a bad thing might make your classmates feel uncomfortable, or threatened even?” You asked him, and he swallowed.
“No.” He said, and you nodded.
“I’m sure you haven’t. So while I’ll leave any punishment up to Miss Weems, I highly suggest you think about the potential impact of your words in the future.” You said calmly, and the boy nodded.
“You will have detention for the week, Mr. Grey. We do not tolerate bullying or discrimination of any kind at Nevermore, something which I am sure you are aware of.” The headmistress snapped, and you looked to her, she was furious. The boy cringed, but nodded. “You may be excused.” She added, and he hurried from the room as fast as possible without running. You watched him go, sighing as you stood, shaking your head.
“I’ll bring you your coat.” You muttered, heading towards the door. The less time you spent alone in a room with the woman, the better.
“Wait,” she called, and you turned, facing her. “Are you alright?” She asked you, and you furrowed your brows.
“It doesn’t matter to me, you know. I don’t particularly care if people know who I am with. I don’t normally publicize it, but I never really hid it.” You said calmly, and the woman nodded.
“You can understand though, how certain relationships would lend themselves to scandal.” She swallowed, and you raised your brows. So that’s what this was about.
“Of course I can.” You said, turning to go again. You didn’t need to hear this.
“So even if they were, welcome, it would be impossible.” She added, and you turned to face her. You smiled as best you could, trying to ignore the frustration.
“Is there something else you would like to speak to me about?” You asked her, and this time the flowers that bloomed along the crown of your head were a yellow-green, causing the woman to stare. That was a new one.
“I- no, no there isn’t.” She swallowed, and you nodded.
“Have a pleasant evening then.” You swallowed, and the woman stared after you as you left. She let you leave, again. It’s what she had to do, she reminded herself, swallowing down the hurt.
You went to your classroom, grading well into the evening. You mostly kept to yourself, which worked well for you, considering how little of yourself you were comfortable showing to people. You ate dinner in the hall, alone, before heading off to your room. You took out your laptop, beginning to work on some things you had been sent by others in your community, when a knock at the door sounded. You sighed as you recognized the pattern.
“Come in Wednesday.” You called, and Wednesday and Enid ushered through your door. You turned, crossing your legs and facing them. “So, do you have an explanation for why you are at the lake at seven in the morning or is this just going to be one of those ‘things’?” You asked her. The girl rolled her eyes, walking in and sitting on your bed, leaving her friend standing awkwardly. “Oh, by all means, make yourself at home.” You mocked her, and she stared at you as you got up, pulling one of the large chairs for Enid to sit on as you leaned against your table.
“Thanks.” The girl muttered, and you nodded.
“So?” You asked her, and she stared at you.
“I am conducting an investigation.” Wednesday began, and you sighed deeply.
“Oh good lord, I pray for us all.” You sighed, and she rolled her eyes at you. “That’s all your going to tell me, isn’t it?” You asked, and she nodded. You sighed again. “Fair enough, but if you get into any trouble, call for me.” You sighed, and the girl smiled, hopping up and taking her friend with her.
“Miss Ophelia?” Enid asked, and you turned to the girl. “Why do you have Miss Weems’ coat?” She asked you, and you swallowed. Right, you had forgotten about that. Or rather, you were avoiding it.
“Oh, I have to return that, thank you for reminding me.” You sighed. It was already late, nearly nine o’clock. “She lent it to me this morning after I had to dive into the lake after someone.” You deadpanned, looking to your niece, who was ignoring you. You rolled your eyes, a slight smile making it’s way onto your face. “Goodnight girls.” You said, and the two said there goodnights before running off.
…
Larissa was sitting by the fireplace in her rooms. She was answering emails, sitting on the couch as she sipped a glass of wine. Your sweater was draped over the back of the couch, it smelled like you. She craved it. She craved the way you smelled, the way your hands were warm and soft but strong. Her mind kept wandering back to you this morning, your skin wet and glistening in the morning light. The way your hair was weighed down by water, how your dress had clung to you. She could see the outline of you, the way your waist was small above your full hips, the muscle of you beneath the thin gown.
She swallowed as she thought of the way it plastered over your chest, your collarbones and shoulders exposed as the gown practically suctioned to your breasts. She bit her lip, she had tried not to stare, but she could see the way your nipples pebbled through the fabric, the cold getting the better of you. She knew this was the last thing she should be thinking about, she had to get ahold of herself, but it was almost like she couldn’t help it. She didn’t know what to do, she shivered as she couldn’t keep her thoughts from you. Ever since this morning she had wanted- no. She was a damn adult for fuck’s sake, She was, enraged, when she found out what a student had called you, how he had insulted you.
She knew she shouldn’t care that much, but god, the way her blood boiled at the idea of anyone being cruel to you. She had seen your own father hit you, for fuck’s sake, and it took everything in her not to just attack him right then and there. She wanted to rip his throat out for talking to you like that, to murder both your parents in cold blood when she found out what the place they had sent you to did to you.
She pulled your sweater close, gripping it in her arms. It was a comfort. She couldn’t have you, not without it becoming a scandal of epic proportions, not to mention everything else, but she could have this. She swallowed down the guilt as she held it close, breathing in the way you smelled. It was divine, sending a thrill through her like nothing she had ever felt. She wanted to wrap it around her, to have your scent all around her. She shuddered, she shouldn’t, she knew she shouldn’t.
Tich would mock her if she could see how far the woman had fallen. Larissa was always so polished, so proud, but just a touch of you had brought her down so far. She gritted her teeth, even with the fire roaring she shivered, it couldn’t be that bad, she tried to justify. She was already cold, and it was there, she might as well use it. Her breath shuddered as she pulled it on. It fit like a dress on you, on her it was still loose, and she sighed in relief as the feel of you surrounded her.
She sat back, closing her eyes for a moment. She got lost in the thought of you. In your smile, your laugh. The way your hands touched her when you were worried about her. The way you defended her against your parents and sister. The way you defended her against those men, the first night you met. Something about you made her feel so safe, so cared for. Perhaps it was just the fact that she knew your sister so well that she felt like she had known you forever, but whatever it was, when she was wrapped up in your scent, she felt safe.
She slowly slipped off into sleep, dreams taking her. She dreamt of you again, of your hands, only this time they were much more insistent. You were wrapped around her, kissing her needily. God, she felt a rush at the idea of you needing her. Your hands pulled her close, grabbing at her, palming at her breasts as your lips claimed hers in a blaze of passion. You were hungry, needy, you swallowed every little moan she gave you. Your hands traced lower, over her waist, her stomach, the swells of her hips. She gasped as you slowly slipped your hand around her waistline.
“More?” You whispered, and she nodded, nearly whining as you dipped lower. She needed you, she needed you to touch her, to finally make her feel, wanted.
“Please,” she groaned, and she saw your wicked smile as your hand finally met where she needed you- just in time for her to wake up.
She nearly screamed as she did, wanting to grab her glass and throw it against the wall. Instead she just seethed as she heard a knock sound at her door. She looked to the clock, it was just after nine, well after school hours. Someone better be dead or dying. She stood, frustration coursing through her veins as she ripped open the door.
“What?” She seethed, only to look down and find you standing there. Your eyes went wide as you took her in, her face was flushed, her hair was messed slightly, and she was panting. Her eyes were dilated and her lipstick was smeared from being bitten. You knew that look. Good lord help you, you knew that look.
What caught your attention after that was the fact that she was wearing your sweater. You took a deep breath in, this woman was going to kill you.
“Right, absolutely don’t have the strength for that.” You breathed, handing her the coat. “Goodnight then.” You said, quickly turning around and making your exit. You thought you might be about to get away with it too, before you felt her hand wrap around your wrist. You took a deep breath, turning back to her. “Larissa,” you sighed, shaking your head. You couldn’t do this, not when she was like this.
“At least come inside.” She breathed, and you swallowed. What would the point even be, you knew it was a bad idea. Yet you walked into the room anyway, standing there awkwardly as she shut the door. You looked at her expectantly, waiting. She said nothing.
“What?” You asked her, and she just blushed, staring at you, trying to find the words. “I, I have classes to prep for, I have things to do, not to mention a mountain of emails to respond to, there’s a publisher asking if I’m interested in another book deal, what do you want Larissa?” You asked her. She could feel her heart pounding. “Please, just tell me what you want.” You sighed, she was killing you. She was hot and cold, literally holding you to her one moment and pushing you away the next. She ran her hands over her hips nervously, until she realized that she was wearing your sweater.
“Oh my god.” She breathed, instantly panicking. “Here, this is yours, I-“ she began, but you just sighed, shaking your head.
“You can keep it.” You said softly. She looked at you like you had lost your mind.
“No, I, it’s yours I don’t want-“ she continued, and you nearly screamed.
“You can keep the sweater!” You groaned, and she looked down at you. “I don’t care about the sweater, tell me what you want, Larissa.” You breathed, and she swallowed, shaking her head.
“I- I don’t know.” She panicked, trying to remain composed, and you nodded.
“Right, so I’m going to go and I’ll see you whenever my niece next gets into trouble.” You huffed, turning to go. This time she rushed to you again, turning you to face her. Your breath caught as you looked up at her. She was close. You had been here before, why would this be any different?
“This is a bad idea.” She said, and you wanted to scratch your eyes out as your heart hammered in your chest the moment she grabbed your arm.
“Probably.” You nodded, and the woman looked defeated. You sighed, looking at her for a moment more before you gave in. You lifted your hands, taking off your gloves and holding them. “But that doesn’t mean I don’t like it.” You said softly. Her eyes widened a touch and she took your free hand, sighing as you held hers. So warm, as always.
“I don’t know if I…” she trailed, and you looked up at her with such want in your eyes that she felt like she was trapped in the best possible way. She pulled you in a bit closer, leaning down a touch. You gasped, swallowing down your feelings as her arm wrapped around you. She saw the red flowers bloom, she knew what they meant, she knew what you wanted, what she wanted. “Are you sure?” She whispered, and you leaned up a bit, nearly trembling at the proximity.
“No.” You breathed, and she swallowed. “I’d like to find out though.” You whispered softly. It was just the two of you in the darkened room, lit only by the fireplace. You were alone, safe, no one had to know. You were following her, she had the lead, she was in control. She hesitated. A moment passed, then another, and she remained still. You were right there, and she hesitated. You sighed, the flowers seeming to wither right before her eyes as you pulled away.
“Ok.” You said, your voice heavy. Of course she wouldn’t, you didn’t know what you expected. “I’ll go then.” You nodded, and she panicked. You began to turn away, and she just panicked. She pulled you close and slammed her lips onto yours, making you gasp.
You jumped, not responding right away, and a feeling of dread sunk in Larissa’s gut. What if she read you wrong, what if you didn’t want this, she had just kissed you and what if she had ruined everything!
Then your arms were around her and you were kissing her back. She relaxed instantly as you did, your hands wrapping around her waist as your lips moved against hers. She groaned as she pulled you impossibly closer, backing you up until you hit the wall behind you. It felt so good, god she had imagined kissing you but it was nothing compared to the real thing.
You gasped, and she used the distraction to move her lips to your jaw, your neck, anywhere she could touch, you breathed out a sigh of utter relief as you wound your fingers into her formerly perfectly done hair, moaning slightly as she bit down on your pulse point. For fuck’s sake, you felt like a teenager. Her hands slipped around your waist, feeling you up as she went back up to your lips, taking more and more from you. She moaned as you slipped your tongue into her mouth, your arms wrapping around her neck and shoulders as you shook in her grasp. The sound went straight to your core, making you shudder.
It didn’t feel like she thought it would, it felt better. She thought you might remind her of Morticia, but Tich was the furthest thing from her mind as you pushed her back, backing her up to the couch and sitting her down before straddling her lap, cupping her face as you kissed her over and over. Your hands, your hands were on her again and they felt divine.
Her hands slid around your hips, pulling you into her more and your breath hitched, you kissed over her jaw, worshiping over her neck and the little bit of exposed chest offered you to you. She whined as you zeroed in on a spot that had her aching for more. You were insistent, needy yet gentle, desperate for her, but attentive. The combination made her head swim as her hands went to the sides of your shirt, playing with the hem. It was then that you stopped, placing your hands over hers and resting your forehead on her shoulder as you panted. You wanted her, you were aching for her, every touch felt like fire straight to your core, but not like this.
She panicked as she realized she hadn’t asked you if she could take your clothes off, she knew you were sensitive about it, but the way she craved the feeling of your skin against her, it drove her mad. She swallowed down the lump in her throat, she didn’t want you to go, she didn’t want you to panic.
“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean-“ she panted, and you shook your head, kissing over her neck again softly, causing the woman to relax slightly.
“If you apologize again, I’m going to walk out.” You murmured against her skin, and she shuddered. The feeling of your lips brushing against her neck, your voice low and husky, it sent a shiver up her spine.
“Ok,” she breathed, and you nodded as you slowly kissed your way back up, kissing her lips again softly, slow. Her arms wrapped around you much more gentle this time, feeling you there was enough. It felt so good, so natural to have you in her arms, as if that is where you were meant to be, as if you completed her.
“Know what you want yet?” You husked, and she hesitated. She knew what she wanted, but she didn’t know if she could. Her eyes betrayed uncertainty as she kissed you again, this time leaning up into you, her hands found their way into your hair, kissing you slow and powerfully. You sighed into her, nearly whimpering at how good it felt.
“This is still a bad idea.” She whispered against your lips, and you nodded.
“I know.” You said softly, pulling away a bit. She instantly regretted speaking, your eyes betraying the loss you felt at pulling away. You placed your hands on top of hers. “I know.” You repeated, swallowing down something she couldn’t interprete.
“But you, you want it?” She asked you, and you laughed a bit at yourself, shaking your head.
“Oh, darling if I didn’t I can assure you I wouldn’t be here right now.” You breathed, sighing at yourself. She looked up at you, unsure. You smiled as best you could. She was gorgeous. Her lipstick smeared, her normally pristine hair slightly out of place, yet she had never looked better.
You leaned back down again, giving her one final, achingly soft kiss before you climbed off of her lap.
“You know where to find me, when you figure out what you want.” You whispered low, and she stared at you, dumbfounded. Her whole life she had fought for control, and you, who gave it to her so willingly, were an uncertainly she was terrified of. You were off limits, firmly off limits, but as you slipped your hand over her jaw one last time, fixing the lipstick she ruined, she thought she might just be willing to see what would happen.
Chapter 8: It Comes Back
Summary:
Your past comes back to haunt you, leaving Larissa both mystified and utterly and mortally terrified as you are left with a gutting decision.
WARNING: Mentions of Violence/Pain/Assault
Notes:
Hello lovelies! I hope you enjoy this chapter, I’m sure it not what you were expecting, but I have a feeling those of you familiar with my work will be prepared, haha!!!
Let me know what you think!
-V
PS. I have REPEATEDLY forgotten to post my discord along with this work! Here is the link for anyone with questions, requests, or just wants to hang out!
https://discord.gg/gY4R4fZ5
The channel for this fic is #rosebuds
Chapter Text
Larissa stood in her office, her jaw clenching and unclenching. You were likely in the conservatory, teaching, and here was this man, this man who claimed to know you, who had no business at her school, in her office, demanding to see you. It infuriated her, she was well aware she had no particular reason to be this angry, but one look at the man and the way he spoke about you had her reeling.
“So how do you know Miss Florere?” She asked, painting neutrality on her face despite the fact that she was furious. He came here, demanding you. Demanding you! As if he owned you, as if you were his. The very idea made her blood boil. Yet she didn’t know why. She had no right to be angry, you had told her where you stood. It was up to her to make a move, yet the very idea of it petrified her. The idea of you petrified her. Your warm hands, your fierce heart, the way it felt like you could stop the world to protect those you loved. It was terrifying. She craved it.
“Oh, Ophelia and I have worked on a few articles together.” The man smiled, tapping his foot impatiently, and she nodded, not at all liking the way he talked about you. It was his tone more than anything, possessive, owning. She hated it. You may not be hers, you may not ever be hers, but you certainly weren’t his. You weren’t anyones. You were far too wild to be contained, and it petrified her, despite the fact that she liked it. She hated the lack of control, it was the furthest thing from what she was comfortable with, yet it almost drew her to you.
“Right, well I’m sure she’ll be able to talk to you as soon as she’s out of class.” She smiled, and he nodded. He was watching her closely, almost as if he was waiting for something, it bothered her, the way his eyes laved over her was nothing like the way your eyes scanned over her, it disgusted her when he did it.
Thankfully, there was a knock on the door at just that time. You poked your head in, looking to the headmistress with a smile. God, your smile. It felt like you always saved it for her. She knew it was illogical, that there was no way you did, but after last night, leaving it up to her, the temptation of something as innocent as a smile was killing her.
“So sorry, I was teaching the third years, now what did you-“ You froze and the headmistress looked at you strangely. “Hello Peter.” You deadpanned. Immediately the smile fell from you face, of course it was Peter. Larissa watched your reaction, you were thoroughly unamused, and she couldn’t help the slight pleasure she felt when she realized that you were just as displeased to see him as she was. More so, actually.
“Hello, my darling.” He said, and you scoffed, rolling your eyes. Larissa was about ready to rip his throat out. You certainly weren’t his darling, especially not if you reacted like that.
“Why are you here, Peter?” You asked plainly. You didn’t like him being here, even if you had to act calm for now. He shouldn’t have been there at all, he should have been back in Europe at the guild, if he was at Nevermore, then there was trouble, and the last thing you wanted for the school, let alone Larissa, was trouble.
“Is it so wrong to want to see the great mistress herself?” He asked, there was a hint of nerve to his voice, one that would have made you pause had it not been for what he called you in front of the headmistress. Of course that was the angle he would go for. He loved to get a reaction. You sighed deeply as Larissa’s jaw slackened at the title he gave you.
“Oh, so this is that game then.” You sighed annoyedly. Larissa watched you, waiting for you to make any serious reactions she could go off of. She didn’t know the man, she couldn’t just throw him from the school based on the fact that he seemed to be familiar with you. She could tell you were uncomfortable, you didn’t want to be near him, you wanted him gone, yet what you did next surprised her.
You glanced at him before walked over to her, standing in front of her desk, between her and the man. You were shielding her, she realized. You put your back to her as you crossed your arms, taking up the man’s attention. The position was clearly defensive, and she watched closely as you leaned back on her desk slightly, preparing yourself. Standing behind you, however, enabled her to watch your back. Your shoulders were down and spread, your spine straight and strong. You tilted your head to the side and slightly towards the man, looking at him expectantly, yet your body sent a clear message.
You were guarding her.
She felt her breath catch at the realization. She had seen you do it before, most noticeably for Wednesday, and slightly for her, but this was different. The way you did it was so casual, almost, instinctual. She felt a blush threaten to stain her cheeks as she realized you were protecting her. You, on the other hand, were staring at the man thoroughly unamused.
“Come now, you know what they call you. What else would they, with how you have achieved your success.” The man mocked, and you chuckled humorlessly. You were pissed. This was out of line, even for him. The man was bold, you would give him that, but taking shots at you that directly with a stranger in the room was beneath him. At least it normally was.
“Excuse me, I don’t believe-“ Larissa began, only for you to cut her off with a smile. One that she couldn’t see, given you were facing away from her, but from the cold but smiling tone of your voice when you spoke, she could picture it perfectly. It nearly made her shudder. She knew what you used that tone of voice for, and it wasn’t good.
“I’m aware what the boys club that is the Botanist’s Guild calls me, yes.” You smiled, and Larissa swallowed as you glared daggers at the man. If looks could kill, the sweet acerbicism with which you spoke would have eviserated him. “Furthermore, I’m also aware of what you’re implying and let me assure you, if you believe I have done anything other than work for my success, you’re severely underestimating me and overestimating my ability to tolerate men poking around where they don’t belong.” You smiled sweetly. Larissa’s breath hitched as she realized what was happening. He was threatening you. “Now, why is the Guild’s press bothering me at a school for children, where I am certain I didn’t invite them.” You asked, yet it was more like a statement than a question. You were royally pissed. He was out of line, well out of line.
“You certainly left Europe in a hurry.” The man, Peter, smirked, pulling out a pen and notepad. His eyes were more frantic then usual, palms slightly sweaty. You looked over him, he was jumpy, unusual for him, but not unheard of. He had something else on his mind then.
“Odd, I don’t remember agreeing to an interview.” You bit, and he put them away, glaring at you. He glanced down to your covered legs, staring pointedly, an action which had you itching to either slap him across the face or hide yourself. Yet you stayed still, waiting for the shot to fire.
“Tell me, do your knees get bruised from all your ‘work’ behind the scenes?” He mocked you, and you smiled, raising a brow. He was testy today, something had him irritated.
“I wouldn’t know, I don’t have to get on my knees for my bosses to convince them I’m worth the salary, but I’m sure you could tell me all about it.” You replied. He glared at you as you blinked benignly. You could see his jaw working, he was sweating, he looked like he was barely containing himself. That was odd, the two of you had done this dance before, many times, in fact, but there was a madness behind his eyes, a desperation, that unnerved you.
“He’s going to bring you down. Expose you, show everyone what you really are.” He spat. You laughed softly, raising a brow. what the hell was he on about?
“I have no secrets, not in terms of my work. The only thing you’ll find is a series of accomplishments even your esteemed boss couldn’t pull off.” You smiled, and he still glared.
“Fuck you, Ophelia.” He hissed, and you rolled your eyes. That was beneath him, just juvenile.
“You wish. And your boss will be receiving a cease and desist letter from me, as well as a restraining order if you don’t stop showing up.” You said casually.
“Please, you wouldn’t bother, not for some journalist just trying to get an interview.” He laughed, his face more nervous than you had ever seen. The death glare you gave him, however, stopped him in his tracks.
“If said journalist shows up at a school for children where he has no business being again, yes, yes I will.” You said low. The smile was gone, you weren’t playing any more. You were serious.
“What are you going to do? Take your gloves off and kill me? Can you really kill with just a touch?” He was trying to get a rise out of you, and you leaned back again, bracing your arms on the desk calmly. Larissa swallowed, that, was a rumor she had yet to hear. Hurt and manipulate, yes, but kill? That was new. Whatever this man wanted, she certainly did not want him in her school.
“Would you like to find out?” You asked calmly, and he blanched. He wasn’t getting anywhere.
“Choke on a dick, bitch.” He repeated, taking his bag and rummaging through it.
“Tell your boss he might if he doesn’t get his mouth off mine.” You called with a smile, waving. Larissa’s jaw dropped, that was, you certainly had fire in you, and heaven help her she liked it a little too much. The man yelled as he stormed towards the door, checking the handle for something. The action had her confused, but you payed him no mind, continuing your mocking. “Oh, and do feel free to purchase my next book, maybe you’ll learn something.” You added.
He turned around again, starting to walk towards you with rage in his eyes. You stood calmly, folding your hands in front of you. He wouldn’t, not here. He may hate you now, but he was still a person, he knew where the limits were.
“We’re not in a bar, Peter, this is a school for children, try anything and I’ll have you arrested.” You said. He stood still, staring at you with a glare for a moment. This was unlike him, he never pushed you this far, certainly not unprompted like this. You were teaching at a school in the states, you were no threat to him or his bosses, there was no reason for him to be acting this way.
“I hate you.” He gritted, and you sighed. You knew he did, but this was new, sudden. This was a deep hatred, one born from more that just jealousy. You swallowed as you tried to get a handle on the situation.
“I know.” You said, hoping you could placate him before it became an actual issue.
“One day you’re going to pay, for all of it. Everything you didn’t earn.” He hissed. You set your jaw, leaning in a bit. Fine then, if he wanted to keep taking shots, you wouldn’t just take it laying down. The woman at your back may have to listen to the jealous prick ramble, but you were going to make bloody well certain she knew he was wrong.
“In that case I won’t be paying for anything at all.” You said. He shook his head at you, nearly growling in anger. He was acting strange, very strange, and it was starting to unnerve you.
“If nothing else, I’ll find that little black book of yours, I want everyone to know exactly who you whored yourself out to, exactly who put you where you are.” He spat. You raised a brow. That was low, even for him that was low.
“You seem to care an awful lot about my sex life, is there something you want to tell me?” You asked him, and his face turned red in anger. You had to stay calm, keep things moving. You needed to get him out. Whatever was going on, you didn’t want it to continue here. Not in front of the woman you were currently trying to keep out of your head.
“You are nothing, but a fucking- a fucking slut. I was with you in those classes, you couldn’t even afford to take full semesters, you want me to believe you’ve done everything you have without using the back door, bullshit!” He yelled in your face. You squared your shoulders, leaning back. He was baiting you. He wanted something from you, you realized. Yet his way of going about it was far from helping him.
“I don’t kiss and tell, and you know it. How many times have we done this dance, Peter?” You asked him. He gritted his teeth. He was almost bright red, odd, even for him.
“Give me something, come on, give me SOMETHING.” He nearly yelled. You pulled back.
“It’s a shame, if you hadn’t bet everything on the Guild we might still be friends.” You said, and he softened. That got his attention.
“They won’t stop, you know. Your entire career, they’ll keep trying to shut you down.” He said, and you nodded. He was right, you knew he was right. Yet, you tried to hold on to the hope that eventually you would be able to work without them looming over your back.
“Get back to London Peter, before your boss gets pissy.” You replied, and he shook his head, his eyes wild. They almost looked inhuman. Something was very, very wrong. “Peter, are you alright?” You asked him, suddenly actually concerned about the way he was acting. Button pushing was one thing, but as sweat started to pour from his brow you began to get nervous.
“Help me, give me something!” He nearly cried, stepping towards you again.
“Peter, back up.” You warned, and he glared at you, his face getting redder and redder.
“Help me Ophelia!” He nearly screamed.
“Peter?” You asked, becoming much more alarmed. The two of you had been opposed for years, you were once friends, but when you started to rise, he lost everything. Jealousy could drive a man mad, you knew that, but this wasn’t jealousy, this was far more dangerous. He stepped closer, getting in your face.
“Help me!” He screamed, and that’s when you noticed it, a red ring around his eyes.
“Peter. Back. Up.” You gritted, and the man sobbed, blood spilling from his nose.
“Help me! Help me! Help me!” He screamed, you pushed him back, and he fell to the ground, screaming out as Larissa panicked.
“Ophelia what is-“ she began, her throat tight in concern. The man was acting beyond erratic, and now he was bleeding, this wasn’t just some jealous former co-worker.
He reached for something in his bag, and your eyes widened in fear as you realized what he was going to do.
“Back up!” You screamed, watching in horror as he pulled out a vial, throwing it to the ground. You moved as quickly as possible. Turning, climbing over the desk, and slamming into Larissa, ripping off your glove and slamming your hand over her nose and mouth as you reached behind yourself. You blew air over her face, minimizing the likelihood she would inhale whatever he had just released as your mind began to race.
Vines sprouted from your other hand, you quickly forming an airtight wall behind you, between the two of you and Peter, creating an almost instantaneous seal. Her eyes went wide as she realized the sheer speed you could grow with. It was incredible, it was almost frightening.
You stretched further, blocking off the door and chimney until he was sealed in, but that meant so were the two of you. You pulled plant after plant from the wall you had created, English ivy, snake plants, bamboo palm, every purifier you could think of sprouted in the small space of half of Larissa’s office, her eyes widening as you seemingly created a jungle out of nothing.
The woman was looking at you in shock, and you just nodded. This was bad, this was beyond bad. You didn’t know why Peter would do this, he was never violent before, but this- this was horrifying. You swallowed, you needed to get ahold of yourself. You looked to Larissa, trying to remain calm as you kept your hand sealed over her nose and mouth. You could remain calm, the woman had no idea what was going on, so you need to find a way to assure her.
“Ok, I need you to reach into my pocket, and take out the handkerchief I use when I cut my hands, ok?” You asked her, and she nodded slightly, your hand still locked around her face. You swallowed as she did so, your body starting to shake slightly when her hand brushed over your hip to get to your pocket. Her eyes widened in concern, but you just shook your head, closing your eyes. You took deep, slow breaths, you needed to calm down, you needed to focus.
“It’s not you, that’s- it’s ok, take out the handkerchief, fold it twice, and you’re going to hold it over your mouth and nose, alright?” You asked her, trying to ignore your own shaking voice. She nodded a bit, doing so quickly. She held it over your hand, over her mouth. “I’m going to let go, ok? It needs to be as tight as you can make it, no air gets in other than through the cloth.” You said quietly, and she nodded. You slipped your hand down, and she sealed the cloth over her mouth. “Good, ok. I’m going to blow pollen on it, but this will not affect you, do you understand me? This is a sort of phytoplankton that can act as a filtration, alright? The cloth itself is already better than most masks, but this will help, ok?” You whispered, your hands shaking a bit. You were scared, she realized. Whatever was going on, it was enough to scare you, and that utterly horrified her.
“You’re shaking.” She whispered, and you nodded, your eyes watering a bit. This was hard, very hard. Any moment of hightened stress meant touch was much harder, this, this meant any touch was almost excruciating, but it was just her, you had to remember it was just her.
“Mhm,” you nodded, unable to find the words. “Ready?” You asked her, your voice thick, and she nodded again. You brought your hands up, pulling forth the pollen and then blowing it towards her. She held her breath, every time Morticia had given her something of yours there was at least some sort of reaction, she waited for one, bracing herself, but it never came.
She opened her eyes, confused, and you just tried your best to smile. She could see the fear in your eyes, everything, you were petrified. Of what, she wasn’t sure. She held the cloth close and you nodded, trying to still your nearly shaking hands.
“Good, just like that, very good.” You shook, and her heart rate picked up a little. She couldn’t tell if it was the fear or the praise, but the combination was driving her insane. Adrenaline was kicking in, frazzling her quickly. She watched as you slowly turned, facing the wall.
“What. Did you do?” You asked the man, your voice shaking in fear.
“I’m sorry.” He sobbed, and Larissa watched as you slowly sunk to the ground, your entire body shivering in terror. That wasn’t possible, if he was apologizing, it couldn’t be-
“Peter, what was that?” You asked, your throat closing up in fear. If it was what you thought it was, you would be fine, but if Larissa had been exposed, if she had been exposed then, you couldn’t.
“You know what that was, Ophelia.” He sniffed, and you shook your head, shutting your eyes as you nearly collapsed. You had given everything- you had destroyed all of it, you thought, years of work, you had wiped it away, but it wasn’t enough. You had destroyed everything! How could that not be enough!
“No, Peter no, please?” You whispered, and you could hear the crying through the wall.
“I’m sorry Ophelia.” You heard, you could barely hear it through the wall. Larissa watched in horror as your whole body sunk to the ground, as you collapsed in on yourself, heaving air as you sobbed. You looked almost crazed.
“No, no, please no!” You nearly screamed, and Larissa stood struck. She had never seen you like this. She had seen you in quite a few intense situations, but this, something was very, very wrong.
“Why didn’t you just finish it?” He whimpered, and you shook your head, covering your face as sobs were wretched from your chest. He wanted you to finish it? After everything, after seeing what it could do, he was mad at you?
“Finish it?” You breathed through the horror, and you shook your head. “Finish it!” You screamed, standing. “I destroyed it! I wiped the project from the fucking face of the earth, I burned everything in that lab!” You cried out, and the man on the other side whimpered. “I destroyed my life’s fucking work because you MONSTERS couldn’t keep your hands off it!” You screamed, your voice breaking. It hurt. After everything you had done, everything you had sacrificed, they still found a way to turn it against you.
“You didn’t do enough!” He bit back, and you swallowed, trying to find the strength. You did this. You were a monster. This was your fault. It was your project, it was your creation, and now, if Larissa had been exposed. You turned to her in horror, looking at her in utter terror. She gasped as she saw the tears in your eyes, and felt her own come watching you struggle to find your resolve. You were down. She had seen you be hit, she had seen you starved and tortured, but she had never seen you actually down.
“What- I- what did they find?” You asked through the wall. The man just sobbed. “HOW DID THIS HAPPEN?” You sobbed, and you heard him whimpering. There was no response, he was alive, but there was no response. You turned to Larissa, tears in your eyes. You could have killed her. Without ever laying a hand on her, it was possible you just killed her.
“I’m sorry.” You breathed. “Oh god I’m so sorry.” You whimpered. You got up, trying to steady yourself. “I- you need to listen to me, and I- god I’m so sorry- you need to do exactly what I tell you.” You tried to breathe. You were struggling to. You knew it couldn’t effect you, but the panic was setting in, the clock had begun.
“Ophelia, what is happening?” She asked you, and fresh tears began. You tried to smile, tried to find hope. You failed. Despite the smile you attempted to keep on your face, the sheer horror and grief in your eyes shown through.
“I- I don’t know yet, but you need to listen to me. This is going to be scary and this, this is all my fault.” You started to panic. “This is all my fault, I, I shouldn’t have come here, I NEVER would have come here!” You cried. “If I had known- Shut the school down.” You whispered, finding your focus again, and Larissa went wide eyed.
“Ophelia-“ she began, but you shook your head.
“Send all students to their dorms, lie, if you have to, but no one leaves and NO ONE comes into this room.” You said. She swallowed. You were serious. You were deadly serious. She wanted to fight you, but one look at your eyes told her what she had to do.
“Your laptop, use your laptop, shut it down.” You whispered, and she nodded. You sat in silence for a moment as she typed. Your world was falling apart. This was it. You had just killed her. You had potentially killed everyone in the school. You cried as you sunk down against the wall you had created, curling in on yourself. You had become the very thing people expected you to be. A monster.
“I did this.” You whimpered. You didn’t want to get up. You didn’t want to move. You wanted to wither away into nothing, into the fear and darkness threatening to consume you. “I- I missed something.” You whispered so softly Larissa could barely hear it.
“Ophelia, what is going on?” She asked you, and you shook your head, curling in impossibly tighter. She stormed over you, squatting down and grabbing you by the jaw. You gasped, flinching at her touch as she did, and she stopped in panic. You had never flinched at her before. Others, yes, but not her. She kneeled next to you, one hand still gripping the cloth on her face as the other tentatively rested in her lap.
“Ophelia, what happened?” She asked you softly, and you tried to breathe. You had to breathe. You had to tell her, you owed her that much. If this was the end, you owed her that.
“I- I started a project, years ago. I was trying to save the world.” You sniffed. She furrowed her brows, shaking her head. What on earth that had to do with anything, she had no idea. “I- I was, there are certain plants that increase the power of the immune system, that boosts it so well to the point that cancer patients can live longer.” You explained. “I was working, I worked on a new species of plant, a micro-phytoplankton. I made it from my own, my own ability.” You swallowed. Every word felt like a mountain you had to haul yourself up, a never ending battle to get through the sight that was crushing you. “It was going well, it worked.” The way you said it, you told the story as if you were praying. As if you were praying through the horror, the hatred, and the shame you held inside. It struck her.
“It worked, Larissa, I had cured cancer! I had made something that could help everyone!” You whispered, you were desperate, grasping at something, anything. “And then it didn’t.” You swallowed. “Then it mutated. And when it- when it went bad.” You choked. You shook your head, swallowing down the shame before you could speak again. “It kills, it kills anyone who inhales it. Depending on the variation, three hours to three days, it-“ you shook your head. “Imagine agent orange, but so much worse.” You whispered, your voice broken. You hung your head in shame, sobbing as the woman stood there, unable to speak, unable to think. If she had breathed in whatever was in that vial, if it got out into the school before you sealed the room off, she was dying. Everyone, was dying.
“The doctor is leaving something out.” The man on the other side of the wall of greenery spoke, and Larissa cleared her throat as you sobbed silently, unable to even try. “The mutation, it wasn’t her. Her creation was incredible, but the guild, the guild saw the potential.” Came the man’s voice. “They saw a bio weapon that could bring countries, entire races, to their knees.” He said. “She created it to target cancer cells, but it can target anything. Race, blood, decendancy, outcasts, normies, it can be used for anything.” He said, and she looked to you in horror.
You couldn’t even look at her, all you could see was the dark threatening to close you in, threatening to kill you as the weight of what you had done, what you had created, suffocated you.
“When she realized what my bosses were doing, she shut the project down, she destroyed it all.” He said. “She destroyed her life’s work to prevent it from becoming a weapon.” He managed, his own voice even stalling at the realization.
“Not enough,” you whimpered, and Larissa shook her head at you. This, this was too much, she didn’t understand. “NOT ENOUGH!” You screamed, and the pain ripped through you.
“She never stabilized it, meaning it’s useless for anything other than a mass murder weapon now.” He spoke, and you slammed your hands against the floor. “You missed one safe.” He said, and you sobbed, you had nothing, you had nothing more to fight with. Despite everything, despite everything you had done, all those you had helped, this was it. You became a monster in the end. Your parents were right. “It was a copy safe in the office, you didn’t even know it existed.” The man said, and you shook your head.
“Why? Why are you telling me this?” You choked, and you heard his pained sob.
“They, Ophelia, they dosed my wife, my kids, me. All of us, two days ago.” He sobbed, and you shook your head. So that was why.
“So you decide to kill an entire generation with you?” You spat, and he cried on the other side of the wall.
“I need you to fight.” He pleaded. You just shook your head, exhausted.
“I’m done, I don’t do this anymore. That was years ago Peter, years.” You whimpered, and he cried.
“No, you don’t do it for you anymore.” He said. “I know you don’t care about yourself. You could have made billions, trillions, more.” He murmured.
“I don’t care about the money, it was never about the money, Peter.” You swallowed, and you could hear him agree. There was a time when he thought that too.
“You and I, we don’t matter.” He said, and you breathed in deeply. “We fucked up, Ophelia. The both of us have, countless times. You were blinded by hope, I was blinded by greed, and I know I’ve done the unforgivable, but I need your help.” He rasped. “I need you to save my daughter.” He cried. “You, you met her once, remember? Little Louisa.” He smiled. “She’s seven now, Ophelia.” He said, and you swallowed, your head hanging in your hands. You couldn’t do this.
Silence followed. You were silent. You looked like death. Larissa had seen you look like death before, she had seen you on the verge of it. The look your eyes had now, it was the same. It terrified her.
“It was a low-impact vial.” Peter admitted.
“What?” You breathed.
“I designed it. My- my kids are gonna die Ophelia. I’m going to die, but I- I couldn’t do it.” He breathed. “They knew you would do it if I got the school, but I couldn’t.” He swallowed. “It didn’t have the propulsion to get out of this room.” He said, and you breathed. You nodded, trying to find a way through this. “I couldn’t kill the kids.” He whispered, and you looked up to the ceiling as tears streamed from your eyes.
“No, you just killed the only woman who has created a place where they can fully be themselves.” You choked, and Larissa’s heart dropped. This was it then. She stood, making her way to her desk slowly. She sat in the chair behind her desk, everything going numb. Her students would be ok. That’s all she could think about. Her students would be ok.
“You went for her.” The man said, and you hummed, deadened to the world. “I would have thought you would protect yourself, but you went for her.” He said. You grunted. Of course the man would notice that. You had been close once, after all, almost family to each other years ago.
“I don’t even know if it can kill me, and if it could, well,” you muttered, trailing off, and the man nodded. You couldn’t see him, but you could feel him there.
“I wouldn’t have bet on you falling for someone again.” He said, and you scoffed.
“Whatever bastard broke your heart when you were young, I thought you were too jaded after that.” He half joked, and you breathed in deeply. You folded your hands, propping your elbows on your knees.
“It wasn’t a lover, Peter. It was a place.” You started. He was silent for a moment. “Newflight. I was sent to Newflight.” You swallowed. You could hear the shock from him on the other side of the wall. It didn’t matter anymore. At this point he might as well know. Some did, he just happened to have never delved into that part of your past. Your childhood was of no interest to him. Some things even he found sacred.
“Holy shit.” He breathed, and you nodded. “You’re testimony five, aren’t you?” He asked. You breathed deeply, silent for a moment. You didn’t answer. “Ophelia, if you’re testimony five, I- all these years?” He asked you, and still you were silent. “If I had known I- I’m sorry Ophelia.” He muttered, still, silence. He knew what that meant, what that place did. If you were testimony five, he had made you into the monster the doctors had said you would become.
“At least it ends here.” He said. You picked your head up, listening. “That was the last bit they had. They can’t recreate it. You never stabilized it, so recreating it without you, it’s not possible.” He muttered. You blinked a moment.
“They didn’t stabilize it?” You asked, and he laughed.
“You think anyone other than you could figure out that shit?” He asked you, and you thought for a moment. There was no way, it wasn’t possible, unless…
“Peter, which, which iteration was that?” You stuttered.
“Six.” He sighed.
“Six?” You asked, and your mind began to race.
“Yeah, unstabalized six, why- no.” He said, and you thought for a moment.
“Six dash one or six dash two?” You asked him.
“Two.” He answered. You nodded for a moment.
“Ok.” You breathed, and he waited.
“Are you- would you?” He asked. You thought for a moment. You looked to the white haired woman sitting at her desk. The fear and shock on her face. She looked numb, as if someone had snuffed out the very fire in her soul. If there was ever a reason, that would be one.
“I have learned one thing from my sister, in my years with her.” You sighed. “That she’s an idiot.” You breathed, and for the first time Larissa looked at you. You could see the tears in her eyes. You swallowed. “She never values the people worth more than anything.” You whispered, and Larissa’s eyes widened.
“You’d potentially ruin the world for a woman you’ve been working for for what, two weeks?” The man asked in shock, and you nodded. “You are aware that you have nothing, right?” He laughed brokenly. “I did it in this room to shut it off from the rest of the school, you have no equipment, other than the bit I have, and that’s almost nothing!” He spat.
“You’re right.” You swallowed. “But I have a knife.” You breathed. You pulled it from your pocket, sitting on the floor.
“Jesus.” The man breathed. “You’re gonna bleed out.” He said, shaking his head, and you swallowed.
“Probably, but I just might stabilize it first.” You nodded, steeling yourself.
Chapter 9: Going Down
Summary:
Larissa watched helplessly as you give everything you have for her, as you slip away into nothing. As you fall away however, things she never could have imagined are revealed.
WARNING: BLOOD/GRAPHIC PAIN/BLEEDING OUT/DEATH/KNIVES
Notes:
Hello darlings! I know that this one has been hotly anticipated, so I’ really can’t wait to hear what you think! Let me know your thoughts!
-V
Chapter Text
“You’re insane.” The man said through the massive wall of plant life you had created to stop the spread of your own creation. He was right, but now wasn’t the time to discuss that.
“Yes.” You muttered, creating a pitcher plant to work in, somewhat ignoring him.
“Do you actually dance while you work, I heard that somewhere.” The man asked, and you tried to laugh as panic flooded through you. He was distracting you, you realized. It would be welcome in a moment, you knew what you would have to do, but not yet.
“I do, yes. Normally.” You swallowed. Larissa looked up again when she felt the shift in the air. There was a small smile on your face, a pained one, but it almost looked like, hope. She saw the plants you were creating, the pitcher, the plethora of others, vines holding everything at the height you needed it. It was incredibly intricate, insanely so. Your precision, even when you seemed to be loosing it, was breathtaking.
“What are you doing?” She asked, her voice empty. You swallowed. She sounded broken. It ripped into you like nothing you had ever felt. Worse then that, she sounded like she had given up. You took a deep breath in, steadying yourself. She would not sound like that. You would make it so she would not sound like that. It may very well be the last thing you do, but you would find a way.
“I’m going to stabilize what he has, what you might have been exposed to.” You said, your throat tight. She gasped, a chance, she had a chance. She stared at you, a flicker coming back to her eyes. You steadied yourself. That’s what you were doing this for, it was worth it.
“Can- can you do that?” She asked, and you tried to smile.
“I can try.” You nodded, and she breathed out in amazement. “May I- May I borrow your phone?” You asked her, and she furrowed her brows. “I have some calls I have to make.” You got out. She didn’t know what it meant yet, you realized. Peter knew what you would have to do as soon as you said it. Without the proper equipment, you would have to give more than you had to give. You would have to give more than there was. She, on the other hand, had no idea.
She stood, bringing the phone over to you as she clutched the mask to her face still. There were loops and loops of vines, running through various plants and pitcher plants, an intricate system you had created, one vine leading to a final pitcher, what you would make, and another leading to you. She looked at them all in amazement. This is what you could do, this is what you used to do.
“What- how does this work?” She asked you, and you tried to smile one more time. You were acting strange, you were still incredibly nervous, that made sense, but there was a sense of finality she didn’t understand.
“You’ll see.” You breathed, you were shaking, she realized.
“Ophelia, what do you mean?” She asked you, her concern growing again. She had been zoned out for who knows how long, you had decided you were going to try to fix it and set all of this up since then.
You smiled sadly at her, trying to nod in encouragement.
“Close your eyes, Larissa, this isn’t the fun part.” You whispered, and she looked to you.
“Ophelia, what?” She tried, stepping closer, and you shook your head.
“If we want to do this we have to start now, and, and I need you to close your eyes.” You grimaced. She shook her head, wrapping her arm around herself. Something was wrong, something was very wrong. You shouldn’t be scared, you should be excited. “Please, I just need you to do this, please?” You asked softly, and slowly, slowly she turned away from you, clutching your handkerchief to her face as she did so. She heard you hiss, heard your shuddering breaths. Whatever you were doing, it wasn’t pleasant. Her heart stopped, however, when she heard you try to speak after Peter asked you something.
“You’re really doing it, aren’t you?” Peter asked, and you swallowed.
“Thi- this would be a- a lot e- oh fuck- easier if you weren’t talking.” You grimaced, your voice coming through strained by tears. Larissa gasped, she went to turn around but you yelled. “Larissa, don’t. You don’t want to see this.” You choked, and she shivered. Whatever you were doing, you were going through hell to do it. You cried out, nearly screaming in pain as you sliced the skin off your forearm, exposing the blood vessels there. “Hah- I- I’m in.” You stuttered, and the man swallowed. He knew what you were doing, he had seen you sit in your lab before draining blood for hours on end, but this, this would be at a level even he couldn’t fully comprehend.
“Keep talking, you can’t pass out yet.” He reminded you, and you cried out as tears streamed down your face. It hurt. You had stuck yourself countess times, but slicing the skin off your arm to reach into your own blood vessels was a level you had yet to experience.
“Not yet.” You repeated, almost screaming through your teeth as you cut into yourself, pulling away the arteries. You pulled one of the vines closer, shoving it into your arm and beginning the process of webbing it to you. You could do it, but it was excruciating.
You grew the plant inside your body, connecting directly to your blood supply. You tried to stay silent, you did, but you groaned and cried as you finally cut the artery, fully spreading the plant inside your skin to direct the blood up into the elaborate contraption you had made. You could feel the plant growing into you, it was ripping you apart from the inside of your very veins. You nearly gagged as the pain washed over you, threatening to heave. You couldn’t, you had to breathe and get through this, it wouldn’t hurt for long.
You took in a deep breath, stilling the plant inside you. You shook as you stopped, trying to calm yourself. Tears were streaming down your face, there was blood on your hands, and your mind was split in a hundred different directions as the blood slowly drew up the plant. It had begun. You panted, leaning back against the wall and dropping the knife.
“Alright.” You gritted. “It’s not pretty, but, it- it’s over. You can turn now, Larissa.” You wheezed. She snapped around to face you, her eyes going wide.
The woman gasped in horror once again as she turned. There was blood all over your arm, your blood, and a plant growing into you. It was actually growing into you, you had grown it into your very flesh, and she could see the blood slowly being siphoned from your body through it.
“What, what is this?” She breathed, moving to you and kneeling in front of you almost instantly. You would have blushed at the show of care had it not been for the amount of blood you were quickly loosing.
“It- it works from my dna, my plasma. I can use that and, and the plants I’m running it through to modify it enough to work as a stabilizer. It, it will stop it.” You breathed. “I’m going to stop it.” You panted. Your voice was breathy, weak. It was a whisper of what you would normally use to speak to her, your normal voice was beautiful, it was somehow enthralling and soothing to the woman at the same time. You didn’t speak with an American accent, you had lived most of your life overseas, yet it wasn’t quite English either. Your voice had been changed by the languages you had conducted through it, yet now, now it sounded stripped bare.
“She’s going to die.” Peter said, and you shook your head.
“Hey, don’t spoil my ending, you bastard.” You breathed. It was already harder to focus, splitting your mind to each plant, each one taking the place of a different piece of lab equipment, running a specific function. It was dizzying.
“You’re going to bleed yourself dry, and then you’re going to die, Ophelia, you know that.” He said, his voice almost somber. Larissa looked to you in horror, but you just shook your head, leaning back on the wall behind you. You were tired, already. It had barely begun and you were exhausted. Yet you swallowed it down, instead focusing on the man speaking to you.
“Careful, you almost sound like you might miss me.” You smiled, the toll already being taken. It would take a while, an hour maybe, but it was already starting to show what doing that was going to do to you.
“Ophelia,” Larissa breathed, and you looked up at her, smiling tearfully.
“Hey, it’s ok.” You smiled. “I know what I’m doing, it’s ok.” You repeated.
“Ophelia, you can’t.” She choked, and you shook your head.
“Yes, I can. And I’m choosing to.” You began. “I’ve done a lot, alright. Peter can tell you.” You laughed before you looked at her again. Your eyes were shining with unshed tears, but your conviction was strong, despite the exhaustion already starting to show through. “I- I’ve served my purpose in this world. You, you have so much more to do, Larissa. You matter, so much more than you think you do, you- you change students, you change their lives. If I had been to a place like this, I- god I can’t imagine what else I might have done.” You smiled. “You light up the sky.” You breathed, and her eyes started to water, tears beginning to gather in her eyes. “Mmm, no tears.” You hummed. You stared at her for a moment, scanning her crystal blue eyes, almost as if you weren’t sure if you wanted to say wherever came to your mind next.
“Ophelia,” she whispered, her heart nearly breaking. It was too soon, she had barely gotten the chance to know you, she had only just kissed you and it felt like- it had never felt like that before. She couldn’t loose you now, not after everything, not this soon.
“I know we haven’t known each other long, not in this life at least- or I suppose you haven’t known me, but I, I’m grateful, for my time with you.” You smiled. “I’m grateful that I got to meet you, the real you.” You breathed. The woman took your hand, and tears began to stream down your own face. God she was beautiful, it almost broke your heart to make her cry. “I- I have to make some calls.” You swallowed, and she nodded.
“I’m staying with you.” She breathed, and your breath hitched. “I’m here, alright? I’ve got you.” She swallowed. You closed your eyes, nodding as tears streamed down your face. The woman was breaking you. You were already dying, but that, that statement cut you deeper than any knife ever could.
“Oh, you don’t know how long I’ve wanted to hear someone say those words to me.” You whispered, and her heart broke as she realized it was too late. The two of you didn’t even have a chance. She had hesitated, she had pushed you away, she had been unsure, and now she would never have the chance. You steadied yourself, trying to fight back the tears she had caused. Of all the things she could say, you didn’t expect that. You wanted to wrap the woman up, pull her into you and tell her everything was going to be alright. Yet you couldn’t, so you moved on, you forced yourself to move on. “Can you, can you call Tich please?” You panted, and she nodded, wiping a tear away before using her spare hand to call the woman.
“My darling Issa, has my sister fully ensnared you yet or are your tastes still, darker?” The woman purred, and you nearly laughed at her. Always with the flirting.
“Larissa’s here, but- but it’s me again, Tich.” You croaked. You heard her gasp. You were strong, but even you would show the amount of pain you were in.
“Ophelia, Ophelia what’s wrong?” She asked, and you tried to smile once more.
“Hey Tich.” You breathed, and you heard the cry that occurred in your sister’s chest. She recognized the sound, you realized. She knew what you dying sounded like.
“Ophelia, you haven’t sounded like this since, you sound like-“ She stuttered, and you took in a shaky breath.
“I know, I know.” You began. “I had to make a decision, ok? I’m gonna fix a mistake I made a while ago, but it’s too late for me to get out of it, alright?” You swallowed.
“Ophelia!” your sister panicked, and you shushed her. You had to calm her down, there was no sense in her panicking too.
“Hey, hey, it’s gonna be ok.” You swallowed. “Everything’s gonna be ok.” Your words were cut short as sobs took them from you, your throat tight. “You’re about to be really rich.” You chuckled, and you heard her sob.
“No, I- Ophelia please!” Her own throat was closing up now, the pain was there, she was hurting. You could hear how much she was hurting. But you had one more thing to ask of her.
“I want you to do me a favor Tich, ok? I want you to tell Larissa my story, Wednesday too when she’s old enough, ok?” You swallowed, and your sister cried on the other end of the phone. “Tell them about what I actually did, what I’m proud of. Not just the degrees and the books. Tell them about the hospital.” You nearly begged, and your sister just sobbed, nodding despite the fact that you couldn’t see it. “There’s also, well, I need you to do something else for me.” You choked, and a barely audible ‘mhm’ was your only response. “You’re going to be kind to her from now on, truly. And respectful, got it?” You panted. “That’s a hard combination for you, but- but you’re going to treat her as if-“ you couldn’t, you couldn’t say it, but your sister knew. You knew she knew. You had a suspicion she knew more than she let on, as well. Whatever it was between the headmistress and you, your sister had seen it years before you ever met the woman, and she had used it to her advantage.
“Ok, ok, I know.” She repeated, and you nodded.
“I love you Tich.” You said, and the woman sobbed.
“I- I love death.” She said, and you chuckled.
“I know.” You smiled darkly, despite the pain.
“But this is too soon.” She begged. You sighed.
“It’s ok. It will be ok.” You swallowed. “It’s time to say goodby, Tich.” You breathed, your throat closing up. The woman took a deep breath in through the phone, trying to control her tears. She knew what she had to do. You couldn’t hang on much longer, and there was one more call you had to make.
“Ophelia, I, I love you, and I’m happy that you’re my sister.” She managed, and you sighed in relief. What an odd thing for her to say, yet the warmth from the statement ever so slightly eased your rapidly cooling body.
“I love you too Morticia. I- i’ll see you again, beyond the grave.” You chuckled, imitating her gothic demeanor. She laughed back, the sound strained by tears. “I love you Morticia.” You breathed, and she choked back another tear. “Goodbye.” You said softly, dragging your finger to hang up the phone. Even the littlest movement caused an exhaustive amount of torture. Larissa stared at you, tears streaming down her face above the cloth she still clutched to her nose. She was watching you say goodbye. This was the end. You were fighting to stay awake, and the fire in you still showed, it was breathtaking, and the most deeply despondent thing she had ever seen.
“Ophelia, I-“ Larissa began. But you shook your head.
“One more, I can do it, I need you to call Wednesday.” You breathed, and the woman’s heart stopped. Your sister was one thing, but Wednesday…
“Please,” you panted, and she did as you asked almost instantly, dialing the number until Wednesday’s phone rang.
“Miss Weems, I think we both know that the halting of classes was caused by something other than a gas leak, might it have anything to do with-“
“Wednesday,” you rasped, and the girl stopped.
“Auntie, Auntie what’s wrong?” The girl asked, and you swallowed.
“Is Enid there with you?” You asked, and she swallowed.
“She is but-“ she began, and you interrupted her.
“I need you to put me on speaker, ok?” Every second you were getting colder, more tired. You didn’t have long, not sounding lucid anyway.
“Ok.” Wednesday swallowed, and you nodded.
“Enid, I need you to do me a favor, ok? I know you don’t know me that well, but you do know Wednesday, and I need you to keep her in your room, ok?” You panted, and you heard Enid’s whimper through the phone, she could tell, she knew something was incredibly wrong. “Promise me, please?” You nearly begged the girl, and you could hear Wednesday beginning to pace.
“Ok.” Enid said, and you nodded, exhaling in releif.
“Thank you.” You swallowed. You had seen many strong girls in your line of work, and if anyone could take on what was about to happen, it was your niece and her best friend. “Thank you Enid.” You nearly started crying again. You couldn’t, not now. Wednesday couldn’t know you were scared. Hurt, maybe, but not scared. “Hey Wednesday, I- we have to say goodbye.” You swallowed, and Larissa felt her own throat close up for you. You were dying. You were saying goodbye to the girl you loved, who you would give everything for, and it nearly made her sob. She pressed the handkerchief closer to her mouth, cutting off the sound.
“What- I, I don’t understand.” The girl said, and you swallowed, closing your eyes.
“Your mother will explain it to you, but for now all you have to know is that this was my choice, Wednesday, I made this decision, no one else. I chose to protect those I chose to protect.” You tried to smile, your voice fading a bit. You had made this choice countless times, yet never were you positive you wouldn’t come out of it. You had suspected it, known that you would could die, but this was the first time you actually knew you would.
“No, no- what’s happening, where are you?” She asked, and you sighed.
“It doesn’t matter, the decision was already made, baby.” You whispered, and you could hear the girl trying not to cry.
“No, no!” She yelled, and you cringed.
“Wednesday, I don’t want to fight about it, I want to tell you something.” You breathed, and Larissa just stared at you, her own hands shaking as she watched you fight to stay awake. “Wednesday, life, is going to be hard for you.” You sighed, and she could see the pain written on every inch of you. “You are going to have to fight in ways that most won’t, you will see things you don’t want to see, hell, the things you will know,” you breathed, loosing your train of thought before pulling yourself together again. “But listen to me when I tell you that does not make you who you are. What you do, who you love, who you help, that makes you who you are Wednesday, always remember that.” You sighed.
“No. You’ll be there to tell me, you have to!” The girl gritted, and you heaved in another breath. Cold, you were so cold.
“I love you Wednesday. Very much. I’ll always be with you.” You smiled, and the girl nearly screamed out in frustration.
“Where are you?” She screamed, and you tried not to sob.
“Say goodbye darling, it’s time.” You rasped, and there was silence for a moment. You waited. You could wait. You would wait for her as long as she needed. You would prolong this for as much time as it took her to say goodbye, you could do that. You heard the shaky breath she took before she found her words.
“Goodbye.” She whimpered, and you nodded.
“Goodbye Wednesday, I love you.” You breathed, hanging up the phone. Silence rang out for a moment, Larissa staring at you in shock.
The sob that pried it’s way from your chest was like nothing the woman had ever heard. You cried, your body giving everything left to the tears, your very soul shattering. You didn’t regret it, but saying goodbye, it hurt. You took a few shaky breaths, trying to calm yourself down. Larissa watched as you dialed one final number, a gruff voice on the other line coming through.
“Hello?” The man asked, in a thick Scottish accent.
“This is Medic A. Going down.” You breathed, and there was silence for a moment.
“Phil,” the man breathed, and you shook your head, tears streaming down your face. “Phil where are you, we can come-“ he began, but you just took in a pained breath, your entire body shaking with the effort.
“Going down, Jenkins.” You panted, and the man cleared his throat, choking something back.
“Thank you for your years, Medic, thank you, thank you for everything Ophelia.” He whispered, and you nodded.
“Give them my best.” You whispered, hanging up the phone. You seemed to relax slightly after that. It was done. After everything, it was done.
Larissa stared at you in shock as you laid there, the strange interaction leaving her speechless. Whoever you had just called, whatever the hospital was and whatever kind of medic you were, it was a side of you she did not know. It was a side of you she would never get to know. Silence surrounded you for a moment, but you knew you couldn’t let go, not yet.
“Does it hurt?” You heard from the other side of the wall, and you wanted to scream.
“Fuck you.” You gritted, and the man cringed.
“Will it- will it be enough?” He asked you, and you laughed dryly.
“Yes, it will be enough, you fucking asshole! It will be enough for her, for you, and your family. You’re welcome.” You spat, and silence overtook the room for a moment.
“Your name is Larissa, isn’t it?” The man on the other side of the wall asked, and the headmistress swallowed.
“Yes,” she managed, not able to take her eyes off you.
“Hold her, Larissa.” He said. You didn’t have the strength to yell at him anymore. “She’s loosing blood fast, she’s probably freezing. Hold her, if you can stomach it” The man said. You were out of it, too out of it to really listen to him until you felt her arms around you. You gasped, trying to look up at her as she sat next to you, lifting you onto her lap.
“You, you don’t have to.” You swallowed, and she shook her head. Then you realized that it was both arms, both of her arms were around you.
“Larissa!” You gasped, looking up at her bare face and lips. “No, no, don’t!” You cried, and she shook her head. She would do this for you. You were already laying down your life, she could hold you, she could protect you, keep you warm as you gave everything you had.
“If I was exposed then I was already exposed, it doesn’t matter.” She breathed, holding you close. You shivered in her warmth, and the woman took off her jacket, holding it around you. You were freezing, you already felt colder, and when your hands desperately clung to her arms, she realized for the first time since she had known you, they were cold.
“Tired…” you murmured, and her hand came to your face, slowly brushing away the hair falling there.
“I know,” she breathed, and you shuddered at the touch, turning into her slightly. It broke her. Why now, why if all times, only now would you let her hold you this close. Only now would you let go of whatever it was that prevented you from touching her.
“Keep her awake!” Peter called, and you groaned.
“It’s Larissa fucking Weems, she’s the most gorgeous women I’ve ever met, I’m gonna be awake you asshole.” You slurred, and her eyes bugged a bit. You looked up at her. “How did you get so beautiful?” You whispered. “Did you crush stardust into your hair? Make your eyes from hydrangeas?” You whispered, and she swallowed.
“Ophelia,” she breathed, and you hummed.
“Are your lips made from roses? They’re soft, like the petals.” You breathed, and she shook her head.
“Stop, stop this, you shouldn’t have to make this choice.” She whispered, tears forming in her eyes. You shrugged, the movement uncoordinated as you struggled to retain consciousness.
“I already made it, and you’re going to be ok. Peter can help, the liquid in the last pitcher plant, it should be injected. Like a vaccine.” You nodded sleepily, and she held you close. You were cold, she realized, your body was going cold. “Not much longer, I don’t think. I can’t feel my hands.” You whispered. “It doesn’t hurt anymore.” You breathed, and she cried. She had just found you, it wasn’t fair. She had just now found you and here you were, dying in her arms. You said things to her she had been wanting someone to say her entire life, why was it just now that she found the person she wanted to say them. She leaned down, kissing your forehead gently, and you smiled. Your eyes started to droop closed.
“Stay awake, just a bit longer, stay with me, Ophelia.” She breathed. “Please, stay with me.” She swallowed. “I know what I want now, I want you to stay, please, please just stay with me!” She whispered, her voice breaking at the end. She felt the moment you gave out. She felt the life begin to fade from you.
“No,” she whimpered, your body was limp in her arms. “No!” She screamed, shaking you. The wall of plants behind her started to shrivel, revealing the man who had done this, who had caused all this. Yet even her anger couldn’t pierce the sadness. She clutched your body, holding you close as the man tore through the shriveling plants, getting to the final pitcher plant before it started to collapse. She ripped the vine out of your arm and put her hand over it, trying to hold the wound closed. It didn’t matter, there was barely any blood left in your body, you couldn’t bleed out. “No!” She screamed, shaking you. You were limp, cold to the touch, the warmth and light in you gone. The man behind her started bottling the solution you had made, and she looked to him, rage flooding her. “You knew she would do this.” She growled, and the man looked at her, his own eyes full of shame and pain.
“I have kids, I- I have kids.” He said, pulling out a syringe from his bag. He shot himself up first, then loaded it again. She was still holding your body, all the plants in the room dying when he injected her. She could barely even feel it. All she could feel was the weight of you in her arms. “She always had a weak spot for kids.” He murmured. “Even- even when she was with mine.” He rasped. Peter came to your side for a moment, kneeling down next to you. Tears came to his own eyes. “God, why are you so fucking stubborn? Why? Why can’t you just be selfish, for once in your fucking life! Why did you have to make them right!” He nearly screamed at your body. There had been a time where you two were close, when you had considered each other family. “I- I am so sorry Ophelia.” He breathed, biting back his own tears. “I’m so sorry.” He repeated.
The man left, opening the door on his way out. “If it’s any consolation, she knew the school wouldn’t be affected, she did it for you.” He said, and Larissa just gaped down at you. You did this, for her? You bled yourself dry for her? “She’s protected a lot of kids but, but I’ve never seen her go near that far for someone she actually… she cares about you more than you could ever know.” He muttered, leaving her there.
The woman screamed in anguish, it was too much. Why would you do that? You barely knew her? Why would you-
“Miss Weems where is my-“ Wednesday froze, staring at your body in Larissa’s arms. “What,” she breathed. Enid ran in behind her, immediately gasping and slamming her hand over her mouth. It barely even looked like you. Wednesday walked to you, numbly, sinking to her knees in front of you. Enid gagged, running from the room as fast as she could. She couldn’t even look at the pale, cold version of you laying in her headmistress’s arms.
“Auntie?” Wednesday whispered, and Larissa couldn’t even look at the young girl. All she could do was stare at your sunken face. The two of them stared for a moment, the silence of the room threatening to swallow them alive. The office was darkened as it felt like the light was snuffed out with you.
Enid rushed in once again, with a handful of hawthorn. She ran to you, her hands shaking as she gagged, picking up your mangled wrist and crushing the berries, shoving them in. She nearly fainted, but stayed strong, doing her best to hold on.
“Enid, she, she’s gone.” Larissa whispered, and the girl just stared.
“She can’t be, she’s, she’s so strong, and she’s smart, and and she’s talented and safe.” The girl whimpered. “Please Miss Weems, she’s safe!” Enid cried, and Larissa bit back tears as she pulled both girls close. Even Wednesday let her, sinking into her side as she cried silently, and still. The three of them stared at your body for what felt like hours, watching as nothing happened. Larissa eventually stood, helping both girls up after she gently laid your body down, brushing your hair away from your face once more. One more time, she said to herself. One more time she would touch you in this way.
“We need to, to call her next of kin, I- I think.” She stuttered. The woman was normally so composed around students, but now, now she felt lost, she had no idea.
“My mother.” Wednesday said harshly, her voice shot from crying. Larissa nodded, picking up her phone to dial, just as the Addam’s family hearse slid to a stop in the driveway she could see from her office window.
“She’s already here.” The woman said, and went back to the girls. Wednesday was still clutching onto you, just as Enid sat next to her, her hand on her friend’s shoulder. Larissa just stared, her eyes red with tears as you laid on her office floor, surrounded by the dead plants that you once grew so beautifully.
Morticia ran into her office, stopping stil in the doorway. She gasped, her hand flying to her face as she took in the scene before her. You were laid out on the floor, your wrist smeared with blood and hawthorn as her daughter clutched onto your body desperately, Larissa standing behind the both of them, her own eyes rimmed with red as tears still wouldn’t stop flowing from the normally serene woman. It was a shocking sight, the normally composed woman ripping apart at the seams.
“Wed- Wednesday, go to your father.” She said, her voice low. The girl glared at her mother.
“I’m not going anywhere.” She bit, and Morticia swallowed.
“Wednesday Addams, now.” She commanded, and Larissa looked up at her, that was not a tone she used often. Both girls slowly stood, leaving the room and shutting the door behind them. Larissa stared at your body, but Morticia rushed forward, instantly kneeling next to you. She took your hand, the one unmarred by what you had done, and placed a hand over your heart. “Your soul is still here, I’ll give you the blood, you need to take it.” She whispered, and Larissa gaped as your sister picked up your knife, slashing her wrist and taking the remains of the vines woven into your body into her own. There was nothing, for a moment, and Larissa sighed, stepping forward.
“Morticia, I- it’s over.” She nearly cried again, but Morticia simply held on, waiting for something, it seemed.
Then the vine moved.
It almost seemed to reach for her. Larissa gasped as she watched it tangle into Morticia, staring at it in wonder.
“They love her, Larissa, just as much as she loves them.” Morticia whispered, staring down at you. “They carry a bit of her with them, even if she can’t- even if she can’t control it.” Tich choked. Larissa was by your side in a moment, helping her old roommate hold your body up. She shifted you into her lap, holding you close as Morticia stayed connected to you. Within a minute the plant had run out of the remnants of your ability, shriveling again and falling from Morticia’s wrist. The wound stopped bleeding, and still you laid, not moving. Larissa felt a tear run down her face, god, she didn’t even know she had that many in her. She would have thought they would have run out.
“Please.” She whispered, leaning down into you slightly. She tucked her face into your shoulder, her cheek pressing against yours. She cried. Tears fell as she pulled you closer, wrapping her arms around you and desperately trying to somehow pull you back into your body. Morticia watched as her old roommate curled into you, holding you tighter.
“Oh.” She breathed, and Larissa’s head snapped up, looking to her. “So that’s why.” Morticia said, looking at the woman.
“What?” Larissa hissed, and Morticia glared with more vileness and detest than the headmistress had ever seen in her.
“You. You’re why.” She spat. “You’re why she gave in.” Morticia sneered at the woman. “She gave fucking everything for kids she didn’t even know but YOU! For you she had to give her life!” She screamed. She was getting louder, her eyes almost black in hatred as she stared in pure hatred. “You. She gave it all up for YOU.” She sneered. “Gave her life for some gargantuan, needy, desperate-“ she was cut off. Gasping as something pricked her. She looked down to see a web of thorns extending from your hand, poking into her stomach. Morticia’s eyes went wide.
“Yes,” she breathed. “Yes!” She cried, plucking the thorns away and taking your hand. “I still know how to get a rise out of you, huh? Even if it’s just on instinct.” She smiled, and Larissa gaped. She looked down at you, you hadn’t moved, but the thorns that had sprouted from you were there. Morticia placed her hand under your nose, smiling gleefully. “She’s breathing!” She said, and Larissa gasped.
The pale woman stood, lifting you in her arms. Your body was still limp, but it looked less, sunken. She carried you tenderly to her rooms, laying you down on the bed. Morticia followed her, watching at a slight distance.
“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean those things.” She said as Larissa placed you down. You were still barely breathing.
“Yes, you did.” She replied, and the woman swallowed.
“We will see.” She tried, not wanting Morticia to see her cry anymore. She had cried too much, far too much. She felt like she didn’t have anything left to give, and she certainly didn’t have any to give in front of Morticia.
“She likes being with you, you know.” Morticia said softly. “She loves to be held, if she can tolerate the person doing it.” She said. “If you can tolerate touching her.” Was the last thing she said before leaving the room, going to take care of her daughter. She wouldn’t tell Wednesday yet. Not unless you woke up. Your heart was barely beating, it just had to survive long enough for you to produce more blood.
Larissa cared for the wound on your arm with the most gentle touch she could muster, slowly removing your bloody clothes until you were in nothing but your bra and underwear. She tried not to look, Morticia should be the one caring for you, yet she had left it to the taller woman for some reason. It was almost as if Morticia knew you would rather have Larissa touching you than her. She wrapped you gently in the sweater you had left with her, she knew she had to keep you warm, you were at risk for hypothermia with all the bloodloss. The colder you were, the less likely you were to recover.
She added a few more logs to the fire before staring down at you in her bed, unsure. She knew she was to keep you warm, and she she knew what Morticia had said. Yet she couldn’t bring herself to do it. She couldn’t make her self touch you, not without your permission. It felt like, a violation. It felt like a crime to treat you in that way. Like it was wrong to even graze your skin without your clear permission.
Hours went by as she sat next to you, watching you like you could slip any moment. You could, in fact, which was why she was with you at all. She knew it should be someone else, it should be Morticia, yet as you laid there, unmoving, she couldn’t think of possibly leaving you like this. She couldn’t.
She slipped into the bed with you, pulling your body close, trying to warm you. At least that is what she told herself when she wrapped her arms around you, pulling you in until she could practically feel your heartbeat. It was faint, but it was there, and she held onto it as she waited, praying it wouldn’t stop.
Chapter 10: Hello Again
Summary:
When you finally wake, Larissa realizes exactly how much she had wanted you to. The only thing that interrupts you is the honesty you share with her and the girls, your words shocking her to her core.
WARNING: MENTION OF PAST ABUSE/ LIGHT SMUT/ GRIEVING
Notes:
Hello darlings! You get this one a day early, it was fun to write, so please let me know what you think!!!
Chapter Text
She couldn’t sleep. She just cliched onto you, holding your cold body and desperately praying you would wake up.
Larissa didn’t know when she fell asleep, but it was late some point during the night, likely the early hours of the morning.
When she woke, there were salt stains on her face, she had cried through the night, even in her sleep, clutching onto you as if you would drift away if she loosened her grip.
She could feel the sunlight streaming in through the window in her bedroom, yet she couldn’t bring herself to move. She began to cry all over again as she clutched onto you, holding you like you would fly away at any moment. Tears welled in her eyes as she listened to your heartbeat, it sounded slightly better today, not good, but better. It was better, she repeated to herself, that was something. It would have to be enough. For now, better was going to have to be enough.
She laid with you in bed all morning, it was late morning when she woke up, yet she refused to leave your side. The most she did was collect her laptop, working in a chair next to the bed. The school would have to go on like nothing had happened. To most of them, nothing had. Still you didn’t move, didn’t flinch, didn’t speak, nothing.
She waited for you, trying desperately to see if you would wake. The longer it went on the less likely you were to come out of it, she knew that much. She had considered taking you to a hospital, however Morticia had advised her against it, you hated the places, and knowing your history, she understood why.
There was one you apparently liked, in Europe, but you had never been treated there, only worked in it. Then again with how Morticia had described it, she half doubted it was a hospital at all.
Tich had said if you were going to come out of this, it wouldn’t be there. You wouldn’t have the fight there. You wouldn’t want to fight there. Larissa couldn’t help but beleive her. She just worked, her eyes tired as she scrambled to find someone to cover your classes. She would never admit it, but the moment you came on she had put the search for a permanent replacement on the back burner, too enraptured by you. She didn’t want you to leave, she realized.
Yet now she was dealing with the likelihood you would die, hell, you already had, now she was just waiting to find out if you would come back. It wasn’t fair. She never had the chance. She had kissed you once. Just once and even then she hadn’t given you enough. She had let you walk away. She never held you, not truly. Not the way she wanted to. She wanted you tenderly, ravenously tenderly, in a way she had never imagined. It was almost unbearable.
She skipped lunch, just pacing about the room and making calls, sending emails, working through everything she could. She didn’t want to work, but anything was better than doing nothing.
She needed to feel busy, in control, when she had none. She needed her control. Around dinner time she was sitting with you in bed again, her hand gently brushing the stray hairs from your face. Your hair was gorgeous, she loved it. She loved the wildness of it. Even now, as the life in you seemed almost gone, your hair was still wild. It gave her hope. She repeated the action, playing with your curls gently. She didn’t know if she would ever be allowed this close again, she didn’t know if she would ever have the chance.
That’s when she noticed it.
It shouldn’t have been possible, but there it was.
She repeated the action, gently brushing your hair away from your face, and small red and white flowers bloomed in your hair. There were considerably less, and they were considerably smaller, yet they were there.
It nearly made her heart stop. It really was instinctual then, the way you responded to her. Even unconscious you reacted to her hands. White and red. She knew red, white she wasn’t sure about, but red, red was a sign. You wanted her there. She nearly sobbed at the realization. You couldn’t tell her, but your body could still show her. You wanted her. She had seen it before, but seeing it now, it floored her.
Warm, you had to be warm, that was the excuse she gave herself when she pulled you in close, wrapping her arms around you. She watched for any sign of the flowers fading, yet they stayed as she laid there wrapped around you. If anything, they almost seemed to bloom further.
If she held you tight enough it almost felt like you were there. It almost felt like you were with her. Almost. This time, when she slipped off into sleep, she stayed asleep. She finally slept through the night with you in her arms, with hope in her heart. You had a chance, she kept repeating to herself, and that is what stayed with her as she finally slept through the night.
It was late when she woke, the sun was setting. In any other case she would have been panicking wildly when she realized she missed a full day of work. But like this, like this all she could focus on was you in her arms. There was a moment, just a moment of bliss. A singular moment when the fading light hit her skin, when she could few you in her arms, smell your skin and hair, that felt like heaven.
She hissed as she felt you there, still unmoving. The reality of you being gone, or almost gone, slammed back into her as her arms tightened around you for a moment. She didn’t open her eyes, she just curled into you tighter as the tears started to return. She didn’t know how she could possibly have more in her.
“You’d hate this,” She whispered to you. “If you were here, really here, you would hate this, having someone hang on you like this. I’m sorry, I just, I don’t want to let go.” She whispered to you. Silence hung in the air for a moment, just a second more of pretending. Just a little moment of pretending you could hear her, just a second indulging in the fantasy would have to be enough. She took a deep breath in, trying to stop the tears from coming once more.
“I quite like it actually, you’re warm, and my hands are still numb.” You murmured, and the woman shot up, staring at you with tears in her eyes. You looked up at her tiredly, yet there was a small smile on your face, one that filled her with warmth even if you couldn’t.
Relief flooded her as she looked at you, you were there. Not just your body, you. She nearly laughed as she cupped your face in her hands, holding you tenderly. Your breath hitched as she did so, unused to being touched in that way. Yet instead of pulling away, or jerking back as you almost expected yourself to do, you relaxed into her hands, turning into her palm slightly. You closed your eyes for a moment, your breath shaking as you just felt her there, felt her hands on you. For the first time in your life you loved the feeling. It felt good. She, felt good. When you opened them again, there were tears in her eyes.
“Good god, you’re even stunning when you cry, that can’t be fair.” You breathed, and she just shook her head, pulling you into another tight embrace. You sighed, relaxing into her arms. Heaven help you, but you loved it. You loved her strong arms around you, holding you tight to her as if you might slip away any second.
“I thought you were gone.” She whispered, and you nodded.
“So did I.” You breathed out, and she shook her head at you in wonder before it quickly faded to something akin to anger. Worry, you realized, she was worried about you. Someone was worried about you.
“Why, why did you do that?” She rasped, and you took a deep breath. She was on the verge of anger, the only thing keeping her from blowing up being your considerably weakened state.
“I told you, didn’t I? I’ve served my purpose, believe me, I would love to give more, but I- I’ve made things that became terrible Larissa, horrifying.” You swallowed, your mind going far away for a moment. Your eyes seemed to darken in horror, disgust even, and she took your hand, drawing your attention back to her. “Yes, sorry,” you breathed. There were things you didn’t want her to know, parts of you that you didn’t want her to see. That, that was one of them. “But I would rather die to find a cure than watch my creation kill you and countless others, if it came to that.” You sighed, and she swallowed, looking at you.
“Don’t you ever- I mean ever, do that again, do you understand me?” She hissed, and your eyes widened slightly at the intensity. It sent a shiver through you as her hands tightened slightly with her conviction.
“Yes.” You breathed, and she took a deep breath in, closing her eyes and seemingly calming herself. When she opened them again, the look in her eyes almost struck you.
She looked at you with such intensity you could feel the blush spread across your cheeks despite the fact that you were sure you were still missing volumes of blood. You were still cold, but she was warm. She was warm and almost, dare you say, safe. It was an odd feeling, being held by someone and feeling, safe, yet when she did it, it was the most natural thing in the world. Her eyes were looking at you as if you held the very world in your hands, and you were sure you looked much the same.
“But it seems I haven’t.” You breathed, trying to find the words.
“No your- Morticia came and she, I’m not quite sure but she used your plants to give you blood.” She explained, and you nodded. You closed your eyes, trying to see if you had access to the memory. It was hazy, but you could hear her speaking, even if nothing else.
Then you heard what she said. Your face hardened for a moment, your jaw working as rage filled you. Of course, of course your sister would attack Larissa the second the idea popped into her head. She never thought about the repercussions, she never seemed to even realize they could exist.
“Fucking bitch,” you sighed, shaking your head. Larissa furrowed her brows.
“She saved your life, what are you-“ you cut her off, pulling her down to you until her lips were just a hair away from your own. Her breath caught in her throat, your hands were weaker than she was used to, but the action had caught her so off guard she almost fell into you, her hands bracing on either side of you as she leaned half over you. Her heart rate skyrocketed. You were so close. You were so close and you were awake, and you were looking at her in a way that had her heart beating faster as a blush settled on her cheeks.
“She’s wrong, you know?” You said softly, and Larissa swallowed, your hands were wrapped around the collar of her nightdress, holding her close enough you shared the same air. She could pull away if she wanted, hell, she could still feel the difference in you, the exhaustion and weakness battering your body. You were never too rough with her, even now. You would be firm, but you always gave her the chance to pull away. It was almost as if you expected her too. As if you were terrified of not letting her get away. Larissa swallowed, her eyes flickering to your lips before she looked back up at you.
“What?” She breathed, her mind unable to focus on anything other than how close you were.
“You are not pathetic, or needy, I on the other hand…” you trailed, and the woman swallowed. Her hand slowly wrapped around your waist, holding you up and close to her. You let out a soft sigh at the feeling, your eyes slipping closed for a moment as you felt her arm around you. God, it had never felt like that before. The woman gaped at you, the bliss on your face, the slight groan in the sigh that you let out as soon as she held you, it had her heart pounding in her ears. It was like the slightest touch was enough to have you looking nearly fucked out. It dawned on her exactly how starved for touch you were.
“Ophelia, I-“ She stuttered, and you hushed her.
“I know, you thought I was dying, I won’t hold you to anything, but if you’d like, I’m aching to show you exactly how grateful I am for keeping me warm.” You whispered, and she nearly groaned. You were so close, your bodies tangled together. If it wasn’t for the fact that she could actively feel you on the verge of shivering, the heat between you would have been overwhelming.
“Now?” She breathed, and your eyes flickered closed. You would try to explain it, for her. Yet it was like nothing you had ever felt before.
“Larissa, it’s any time you’re in the same room as me, you can’t honestly believe I can ignore being literally held by you.” You swallowed, and her eyes widened. You sighed, looking back to her. “God you’re beautiful.” You swallowed. “How do you expect me to ignore something that pierces me every time I see you?” You asked her softly, and she swallowed. Of all the things you could say…
“You mean it?” She asked, almost as if the idea was ridiculous. You shook your head softly, swallowing down the lump in your throat. How could she ever think you didn’t? You knew who had conditioned her to think that way. You knew the people who had shaped her. The rage you felt towards them threatened to consume you, only to be overshadowed by the need to comfort her.
“If I had the strength I would show you exactly how much I mean it.” You whispered, and her breath quickened as a blush stained her cheeks. She was heating up under your touch, her body warming yours in turn as you felt a familiar pull in your lower abdomen. Larissa, on the other hand, felt the ache in hers only double as you looked at her with such want in you that it took her breath away.
“I- I want, yes.” She managed, and you leaned in slightly closer, nearly meeting her lips again.
“You want what, Larissa?” You asked her, and she stared achingly at your lips. So close.
“I want you to show me you’re real.” She breathed, and you hummed, taking your hand to her chin. When you pulled her in it was soft, gentle, but burning. Your lips met hers with a comfort, a sense of safety, she didn’t know was possible. She ached for you, she ached for the home you felt like, the warmth, even now as it was dimmed. She groaned, wrapping her hand around and into your hair, pulling you closer. The little whimper you gave at the gesture had her aching to find out what else she could pull from you. It was slow, she knew you didn’t have much to give her, but you gave her everything that you had.
“So good for me,” you murmured against her lips, and her eyes went wide before she crashed into you again. The simple word had sent waves through her, making her nearly whine in need. It felt so good. It felt so unimaginably good to loose her control with you. She was exhausted, every moment waiting to see if you would wake had been torture, she had been wound tight enough to snap, and now here you were, pulling her into yourself and praising her for helping you. It drove her insane. Her body shook as you kissed her, your lips pressing onto hers again and again, waves of passion flowing from you and into her.
Your hands slipped from her collar to around her neck and shoulders, always on her nightclothes, never bold enough to trace her actual skin. Yet still, you were holding her close, she shifted, nearly pulling you onto her lap, and you smiled, sitting up and straddling her legs, making the woman gasp as her hands traced down your body. Your breath hitched as she gripped your ass, pulling you in more. She panicked at your startled reaction.
“Sorry, I-“ she whispered, instantly pulling her hand away, but you just shook your head.
“Stop fucking apologizing.” You groaned, your trembling hand taking her arm and leading her back to where she was. Her heart thundered as she pulled you into her, your head swimming. You kissed, your tongue slipping into her and making the woman open her mouth slightly in surprise. She wasn’t used to this, wasn’t used to someone exploring her in this way. You moaned at her taste, holding onto her hesitantly. “You kept me warm, stayed with me for so long,” you murmured, and she nodded helplessly against you. “Such a good-“
You heard the yelling before she did, and you almost instantly pulled back, looking to the door just as you heard a voice that had to be Enid. She nearly cried out at the feeling of loosing your closeness once again. More, she needed more. She needed you!
“Wednesday, you can’t just storm into Miss Weems room-“ she called, and Larissa immediately put you down, moving as fast as she could without shoving you off. The both of you sobered very quickly, Larissa staring at you redder than you had ever seen her and her chest heaving as she tried to calm herself. Your head was left dizzy as your body ached for her, your heart caught somewhere in between. Larissa just stared at you for a moment, as if she didn’t know what to do. You nodded, wordlessly telling her you would follow her lead, a gesture that had her wanting to sink back into the bed with you right then and there.
Then the headmistress mask slipped back into place, she straightened her clothing, and you watched as Larissa turned back, walking to the door calmly.
She left, going to the room to appease the girls, trying to shove down whatever reaction you had just caused. It had to be that she missed you, that it was you, nothing else. She was always in control, she didn’t need the praise, didn’t need you to take the lead. She had taken the lead many times before, she was comfortable with it, she understood it. Hell, she was expected to do it. Yet the second that the word ‘good’ left your mouth, she could have sworn she was on the verge of begging. Her mind cleared as the girls accosted her, too distracted by their own discovery to notice her state.
“Headmistress Weems, look, look at this!” Wednesday practically yelled, you could hear them on the other side of the door into the bedroom. They were in Larissa’s little living room, the two girls likely on the verge of pouncing her. You would have felt bad for the woman had you not so desperately wanted to see your niece.
You got up slowly, easing yourself to your feet. It was difficult, you were weak, very weak, and you hated the feeling. You had felt weak before, and you had promised yourself you would never feel that way again, yet here you were, staggering to your feet as you attempted to make your way to the door. You shuffled your way across the room and to the door, your feet feeling like lead.
“It bloomed! She gave this to me Miss Weems and it bloomed! That has to mean something!” Wednesday yelled up at the tall woman. You nearly laughed, you loved the way she would notice everything.
“Miss Addams if you will just calm down-“ Larissa tried in vain.
“No! You listen!” The girl growled, and you quickly realized that she was very close to downright attacking the woman if you didn’t stop her.
“Wednesday, don’t yell at your headmistress, I’m too tired to get you out of trouble.” You smiled from the door.
The girl froze, slowly turning to you. The plant in her hands fell to the floor and you cringed, but she didn’t care. She ran to you, wrapping her arms around you and holding you tight. You returned the gesture, your own arms wrapping around the girl’s waist with no hesitation. She was the only one, the only one you ever touched without hesitation. You cried. The both of you cried. You held her close, clutching onto her as she sobbed, unwilling to let you go. It would be alright, you reminded yourself, and you glanced to Larissa for a moment, noticing her own watery eyes at the way you interacted with the girl. It would be alright. She was quiet as she watched you, not wanting to ruin the moment. There were very few people you would touch, and she knew how hard it was for you. She wouldn’t take away a moment with the one person you allowed close to you in that way from you, she couldn’t.
Eventually you could breathe again, and you smiled down at the girl attached to your waist.
“Miss me?” You teased, and she just shook her head, refusing to speak and burying her face in your chest. “Alright, I know.” You whispered, moving and sitting on the couch by the fire. She didn’t detach herself, sitting with you and holding you as if someone was going to take you away from her. You relaxed, slowly petting her hair and rubbing her back until the tears subsided. Enid stared at you, her own eyes wide and full of tears. You chuckled, waving her over.
“I know you have a no touching rule other than Wednesday, it’s ok.” She nodded, stepping back, and you raised a brow.
“My dear you saw my body bleed out on the ground, if you would like a hug you’re welcome to one, but I understand the aversion.” You said calmly, and Enid went wide eyed. You smiled as she pounced on you, both girls holding you tight. Enid was carful to stay where she wouldn’t touch your skin, only hugging you through the thick sweater Larissa had seemingly given back to you when you were out.
You glanced up at Larissa, the woman watching you with nothing but pure adoration in her eyes. It struck you. This was her home, you realized. Her students, she protected them like her own, and seeing you with them, it moved her. You knew what that felt like. Enid pulled away, smiling and sitting down on the floor by the fire. For once, you were thankful for Larissa and her constant need to keep her rooms hot as can be.
“You’re not moving, are you?” You asked your niece, and she just shook her head. You scoffed, rolling your eyes. “Enid, you don’t have to sit on the floor.” You chuckled, and she just shrugged, happy to lay by the fire.
“I’m good, floor is good.” She chirped, and you shrugged.
“Fair enough, I was always a floor person.” You muttered, and Larissa raised a brow at you. “Oh come on, I grow plants from the palms of my hand and can manipulate any from the actual earth, does it really surprise you I ran around barefoot laying in the grass whenever I could my whole life?” You asked her, and she sighed, shaking her head.
“I suppose not.” She swallowed. She was doing her best not to stare. She didn’t know what to do, these were her rooms, but Wednesday was your family, Enid was here for you, and she was, alone. She took a deep breath, steadying herself. Of course she was, what was she thinking? She had helped you when you needed it, now it was time for you to go back to your family, that was the obvious answer. Yet it hurt. She had Nevermore, she had her students, she didn’t know why she should care. It’s not as if she had been in a true family for a very long time. She had moved on from it, ignoring the slight ache she felt when looking at girls or women with their mothers, yet you, holding your niece so tenderly, cracked her open so deep it almost felt irrevocable. It had been years, decades since she felt this way.
She took a deep breath, looking away before she revealed any of the pain the sight caused her. This was your time, she should go. She had to go. It was not her place to interrupt this. She turned to go find something to do, only to hear you call for her.
“And where do you think you’re going?” You asked, a slight smile on your face. She turned to you, furrowing her brows.
“Well I was going to go find something to work on, what with the past few days being as they’ve been. You’re with your family, it’s fine, you don’t need me, I’ll go.” She justified, turning to go again, and you shook your head.
“Stay with me.” You said, and Enid looked to you in wonder as Larissa turned, staring at you. Her heart nearly skipped a beat. You were asking her, to stay. You didn’t need her anymore, you had the fire, you were awake, you had your niece, and still you wanted her to stay? She looked at you confused.
“Miss Ophelia, I should really-“ she protested, only for one word to cut her off. One little word that stopped her in her tracks.
“Please?” You asked softly. She stared still. “I’d like you to stay.” You murmured, and her heart nearly broke open. So many times she had been sent away. Off out of sight, off to mind her own business, off to find something to do, off to school, off away from Morticia, off away from others she had wanted to cling to. Her own parents had disowned her, yet you, as tired and hurt as you were, asked her to stay. You said it as if it was so easy, so simple, just words. They were, she supposed, but to her they meant everything. Her eyes threatened to fill with tears, and she took a deep breath, gaining control of herself, she wouldn’t cry in front of students. She couldn’t.
“I suppose I can.” She conceded, and you smiled in relief. The look that had crossed her face when you asked her nearly broke your heart. It was as if she didn’t believe herself worthy of even being there with you. That, you would have to talk to her about later, when the girls weren’t around.
“Can she sit on the other end of the couch, darling?” You asked the girl half in your lap, and she just nodded, so you smiled to Larissa, raising your brows and gesturing across from you. The woman swallowed, slowly making her way to the other end. Wednesday was between you two, yet she could feel your presence reaching for her, your warmth, as she sat, crossing her legs elegantly. You looked away from the action. Enid was already mesmerized that you liked women, catching onto the fact that you liked the Headmistress would likely not be something the woman would enjoy. “Thank you.” You said softly, and the woman just nodded, looking at you with an unreadable expression.
“Ask her questions.” Wednesday mumbled from her place buried in your chest and you laughed. Enid nearly bounced by the fire, trying not to burst into flames herself. Larissa raised a brow at the suggestion, but you just winked at her, making her look away quickly as you smiled at Enid. You were a madwoman, the headmistress knew this, yet she couldn’t help but enjoy the rush that went through her when you conspired with her. You chuckled, looking to the girl.
“Go ahead, ask me anything.” You smiled, “I’m fairly certain Wednesday would just like to hear me talk to prove I’m alive.” You deadpanned, and the girl didn’t even bother denying it. Enid thought for a moment, wondering what she could ask. There were things she wanted to, almost needed to, but she wasn’t sure if she should, especially with the headmistress right there.
“Caaaaaan, I ask you questions as my best friend’s cool aunt and not my teacher?” She asked, and you hummed, tilting your head to think for a moment. You turned to Larissa.
“Any objections?” You asked her, and she looked surprised. You were asking her opinion. You didn’t just want her here, you were including her. She blushed a bit at the realization, unused to such a thing. She also thought for a moment, before she gestured noncommittally.
“I suppose as long as the questions aren’t explicit. It is after school hours. The information you give her would be expected to not leave this room, however.” She spoke, and you nodded, smiling at her before turning to Enid.
“Think you can handle that?” You asked, and the girl nodded, thinking again for a moment. She turned a bright red and Larissa raised her brows at the student before she spoke.
“Umm, how did you Uh, know?” She asked tentatively, and you raised a brow.
“How did I know what?” You asked her, and she swallowed, glancing nervously from you, to Larissa, to Wednesday, back to you.
“Nevermind, it’s silly, I shouldn’t even be thinking about-“ she rushed, and you realized.
“Ohhh,” you hummed, “that.” You chuckled, and she blanched.
“You don’t have to! I’m sorry!” She yipped, and you waved her off.
“That’s alright, I don’t mind.” You said gently, playing absentmindedly with Wednesday’s hair as you thought. “Well, I was with my sister at a Museam, we were little, maybe nine or so. I was walking around looking at the paintings when I saw this beautiful woman standing looking at one.” You smiled. “She was the most stunning creature I had ever seen, tall, dark hair, elegant and graceful. She sat, staring at the painting, and I realized as everyone else in the room was looking at the paintings, I only wanted to look at her.” You said gently.
Larissa’s face slackened a little bit. Hearing you talk was always wonderful, the way your voice and accent were distinctly your own. You didn’t speak like an American, or any certain European, you just spoke like you. It always took her breath away.
“I think that’s the earliest memory I have of the general feeling, of course there were others, the slight heart attack when a beautiful woman got too close, the general horror at the idea of marrying a man.” You shrugged. “Granted that was just me, there are many different ways and types of attraction.” You hummed, and Enid furrowed her brows.
“What do you mean?” She asked, and again you thought for a moment. Your brows raised slightly at her lack of knowledge, the girls were sixteen, the fact that she had no concept of it surprised you. Then again, with what she had said about her family…
“I happen to only like woman. Some women only like men. Some women like men, women, and those in between differently, some regardless of their sex or gender, it depends on the person.” You said, and Enid stared for a moment.
“What.” She flatlined, and you chuckled a bit before you realized the sadness in that statement. Even Wednesday turned her head to look at her roommate, forcing you to drop your hand to her back, rubbing gently.
“Tell me about your family, Enid.” You said softly, and the girl swallowed.
“They’re great!” She said quickly, and you waited for more. “I mean, I love them.” She added, and you nodded.
“You can love your family despite not agreeing with them, or understanding that they have faults.” You encouraged her. “I love my sister but that doesn’t mean we always get along, let alone agree, on many things.” You offered, and she thought for a moment. You could feel Larissa’s eyes boring into you, making you swallow and blush slightly under the intensity of her gaze. You couldn’t tell if she hadn’t liked something you said or she was just staring, but either way, under any other circumstances you might have been on the verge of squirming in your seat.
“Do you love my mother?” Wednesday deadpanned, and you scoffed, rolling your eyes.
“Yes, I do.” You sighed. “We differ, in many, many ways. However that does not mean I don’t love her.” You explained.
“She is cruel to you.” Wednesday countered, and you hummed.
“Morticia can be harsh to those she doesn’t understand. She will do whatever she feels she must to protect those she loves, her family. That she holds above all.” You said gently. “If I were to threaten you, yes, I’m sure she would do things to me that would horrify you, but you must understand this about your mother. She is gentle, in the same way she can be cutting. She will wield her love like a weapon if she must, but she has never intentionally harmed me for the sake of harming me.” You explained. “Yes, she has hurt me, she will not deny that either, however she has never done so out of maliciousness, only in an attempt to protect that which she holds dear.” You explained, and the room went silent for a moment. Larissa just stared at you. The way you spoke was always entrancing, yet the way you could describe your sister, a woman who had hurt you, who had hurt her, it floored her. Your sister had always been black and white. You, were a beautiful swirling grey.
“Please, continue Enid. Forgive my family and it’s wild dynamics.” You chuckled, scrunching your nose up in jest. The girl swallowed, trying to find her footing after watching you switch in and out of such intensities.
“They- they love me, they just want what’s best for me. They want me to do what I’m supposed to do.” Enid began, and you smiled sadly as you recognized the feeling. “They want me to wolf out, consistently, under my full control, and find a mate and settle down and have my own pack.” She breathed, swallowing. You nodded. “And I get that, I know that they think that’s what’s best, but what if it isn’t?” She asked you, looking up. “I mean, you never had a husband, or children, and you’re still happy, aren’t you?” She asked you, and your eyes widened a touch as you breathed in sharply. Happy, that was a difficult question. Larissa swallowed, staring to you. Were you happy? If you weren’t would you leave? She didn’t even know what you wanted out of the rest of your life, let alone if you were satisfied with it. She knew you were here because Wednesday needed you, but when she no longer did, would you go again? The question haunted her as you hummed, nodding.
“I am, yes.” You said after a moment. “I am happy with the things I have accomplished, I am very happy that I did not marry a man, and although I do enjoy children, I would not want my own.” You sighed. “I’ve worked with and helped many throughout my life. I’ve gotten to watch some grow up even.” You smiled, your eyes going far away for a moment. There was a sadness to them, Larissa realized. When you spoke about that, it hurt you. She leaned closer, she knew you weren’t letting on much, but the way you spoke, there was pain there, surrounding children, apparently, and she couldn’t help the nervous curiosity it caused in her. “I like being here, I love being Wednesday’s aunt. I might even say I may someday love this place.” You smiled, and Enid nodded. You paused for a moment, deliberately not looking at the white-haired woman on the other end of the couch. You shouldn’t say it, certainly not in front of her. Hell you had just kissed her, yet here you were, giving your honest truth to the girls, her watching. You took a deep breath in, deciding to hell with it. “The only thing I think about is that I would like to feel loved, truly loved, and to give my heart to someone completely, that I haven’t done yet. I don’t know if I’d get married, but I would like to be with someone in that way.” You explained, and Larissa gaped as Enid nodded.
“So you’d like to love without the expectations of proving it to everyone?” She asked you, and you smiled, nodding.
“That’s a good way to put it, I hadn’t thought of that.” You hummed, and the girl beamed, blushing up at you. Larissa nearly gaped at you. You spoke about it so openly, so fluidly. It was like poetry. She wondered how you could share that peice of yourself, what gave you the ability to show it to the world. You reminded her of the poetry she read when she was young. Heart-wrenching pieces she stole from Morticia, ones that made her feel like perhaps she wasn’t so alone in the world. She wondered more if you considered her someone you may love someday. Would she love you someday? Was she falling for you now? The questions spun in her head as she attempted to listen to you speak, it was all too much. You were too much, yet she couldn’t get enough of you.
“Have you ever been in love?” Enid asked, and you nodded. Larissa blushed as she realized she was far from a person who should be witnessing this conversation.
“Absolutely.” You chuckled.
“I’ve had my heart broken once or twice. I’ve learned, however, that the pain we feel is just our expression of that moment of love ending, not the death of it. I don’t have regrets, well, not in that arena.” You smiled, and Enid giggled.
“What does it feel like?” She asked you, and you nodded, thinking for a moment. Larissa bit the inside of her lip as you remained silent, waiting with bated breath for your answer.
“Flying,” you breathed, closing your eyes and leaning your head back. “And falling! The falling is important. I suppose it’s different for everyone, but for me it feels like falling, careening towards something, and you don’t know what’s going to happen next but you can’t bring yourself to stop.” You breathed, your words bringing a blush to the headmistress’s face. Even now, you somehow managed to light up more when you talked about it. “Why would you? When they’re a chance something incredible could happen.” You smiled, your eyes distant for a moment. Enid stared up at you in wonder.
“Woah,” she breathed, and you laughed.
“I have been in love three times, each very different, but I would not forget those experiences, even if they caused me pain.” You said, and the girl nodded.
“Always with girls?” She asked, and you chuckled.
“Always with women.” You corrected, and she nodded.
“Do you, worry, since you won’t have kids, that you’ll be alone?” She asked you, and you swallowed. That one hit a little harder. You frowned for a moment before answering.
“Sometimes.” You admitted. “Sometimes I wonder if when I die I will be laying with no one else in the room, but I think that I’ve given enough of my soul to this world, I like to imagine it is with me, that it stays with what I still keep to myself. When I die, I will not leave my own children behind, but I will leave hundreds of other children and students. I will leave knowledge and information that has changed lives, saved some, even.” You said, and the girl nodded, almost star struck. “But more important than anything, is that I have helped people in my life. I did what I loved, I persued my passion with almost reckless abandon, how could I regret my decisions when looking at the joy they brought me, the joy they brought others.” You smiled, and Enid nodded slowly.
“Wednesday is right, you are nice to listen to.” She said, and you laughed, shaking your head.
“Thank you my dear, but I am just a well educated nut, I can only give you my experience, it’s up to you to make your own.” You said softly, and she nodded. When you finally turned to look at the headmistress you were struck still. She looked like she may cry. Behind her mask of perfection you could see the emotion in her eyes, swirling into oblivion, into you. You took a deep inhale, resisting the urge to reach for her. You wanted to, more than anything, but you doubted the woman would allow you to in front of her students. What you had said had hit the woman harder than she ever expected it to.
Enid took what you had said in, silent for a moment before she decided to ask more. Wednesday, instead, asked the next question.
“Tell me about Newflight.” She mumbled into you, and you sighed, closing your eyes for a moment. You knew it had been a matter of time before she asked again, but you didn’t expect it to be now.
“Wednesday, you know I don’t want to-“ You began, only to be cut off.
“Please?” She asked, looking up at you. “I want to know where it is they want to send me. I want to know what my mother is so scared of, what you’re protecting me from.” She said, and you swallowed. You couldn’t deny her, you never could. Larissa took a deep breath, staring at you nervously. She felt like an outsider witnessing this, like she shouldn’t be here. You made no move to ask her to go or to leave yourself however. You just sat, thinking for a moment. She watched as the firelight flickered on your face, seeming to reveal the darkening of your eyes and the hollow points of your face as your mind shifted to the institution that once held you. You took a deep breath in, preparing yourself.
“First off, Newflight doesn’t exist anymore, it was shut down, unfortunately there are still three places like it in the world.” You swallowed. Both girls as well as the headmistress watched you as you tried to find the words. “I was sent there during your mother’s first year of school, she came here, I went there. When they take you in the first thing they do is cut your hair, give you a uniform, and lock you in your room for three days.” You explained calmly. Enid stared at you in horror as your niece just listened. “It is designed to break you, to rip you from your abilities and to beat you into submission. The goal is to produce an ‘acceptable’ student, and later adult. For me, that meant a housewife to a man, a mother, and a woman who couldn’t do anything other than grow flowers.” You swallowed, your eyes going far away as you stared at the fire. “They starve you, drug you, beat you. You attend classes in homemaking and are constantly being subject to ‘treatments’ to strip you of your abilities.” You swallowed. You had talked about it many times, you had to on certain occasions, yet you still didn’t enjoy it. Your voice was cold, factual, loosing the ease and beauty it had held just moments ago. The comparison was striking. “You’re permitted one shower every three days, and it’s cold, the soap stings your skin, and you wash your hair with the same bar.” You sighed. “Terrible for the curls.” You muttered, looking to the girls, who just stared at you wide eyed. “Most die in three years, or are taken out of the program a shell. Their former abilities gone, along with their sanity.” You swallowed. Wednesday looked up at you.
“How long we’re you there?” She asked you, and you swallowed.
“Six.” You answered, and you saw the moment the tears started to fill her eyes. Larissa gasped. Six years. Six years you were kept in that place, brutalized and tortured. For six years you had been made into the living skeleton she had seen in the bed, the first six of the years your sister had been with her.
“How did you do it?” She asked you, and for the first time since you began the story, you looked at her. There were tears in her eyes, the same ones filled with horror. You smiled sadly, reaching your hand over the back of the couch for her, around your niece. She stared at it. Now? You wanted her touch now? She didn’t understand. Yet the moment her hand was in yours she relaxed slightly, and she realized you hadn’t done it for yourself.
“My sister sent me letters.” You smiled. “Every week. Sometimes I would get a vision from them, that was always a riot.” You chuckled, and she blanched at the idea of what all you could have seen. “I read countless stories of her, her escapades with boys, her insufferably intelligent roommate, oh the drama!” You chuckled, and Larissa just shook her head at you in wonder. You could laugh. After everything you had been through, you could laugh about it. “She wrote me before she and Gomez got engaged. She wrote me about boy drama, girl drama, class drama. She wrote me about the many, many years you won the Poe cup! I actually got a vision one year of your team finishing first. The orderlies were less than amused, but I was rather happy with the idea.” You chuckled, your eyes softening a bit as you looked at her, there was vulnerability, she realized. “I’ve seen you play the piano, for the record, I used to replay the vision of you playing ‘Moonlight Sonata’ nearly every night.” You hummed, and the woman’s jaw dropped. “You play beautifully.” You smiled, turning your face back to the fire before the intimacy of the gaze was too much for you. Your hand, however, remained in yours. “I read every letter like it was a lifeline.” You said calmly. “It often was.” You added, and she squeezed your hand, calling your attention to her again. You smiled at the gesture, nodding slightly before looking back at the girls. You’d rather stare into her eyes forever, yet you knew you couldn’t in front of them. “That and I’m far too stubborn for my own good.” You smiled, and Wednesday chuckled through teary eyes.
“That’s why you don’t like conversion camp, isn’t it?” Enid asked you, and you nodded.
“I am of the school of thought that forcing anything to do with an ability upon a child is cruel, abusive, even.” You said gently, and she nodded. “There are cases where one must learn to control it, but the methods used in places like that are, that is not what they’re for.” You swallowed, and the girl nodded. “Are we done with that then, I’d rather talk about something less depressing since, you know, I’m alive and all that.” You smiled, and Wednesday scoffed. She just rolled her eyes.
“Is all love as disgusting as my parents are with it?” She asked you, only half joking, and you barked out a quick laugh. That was not what you were expecting from the girl, but you would take it. Larissa loved the sound of your laugh, she decided. The second she heard it, the freedom in it, she decided she loved it.
“No, of course not. Your parents are disgusting because we are related to them, but the fact that they are, like that, does not help.” You muttered, and the girl glared against you. “Love takes many forms. For them, it’s more physical, primal.” You grimaced, and the girl on your lap gagged. “And sometimes it is like that,” you continued. “But sometimes it is soft, sometimes quiet. It can be subtle or sudden. Desperate or hidden, there are many types of love, girls.” You smiled. Larissa swallowed, heating up once more. She couldn’t help but imagine you like that.
She imagined you primal, pulling her close and taking what you wanted from her until she was helpless to do anything but bask in the sheer force of nature that you were. She imagined you soft and quiet, your hands grazing her shoulders as she sat with her morning tea, a quick kiss on the cheek before you sat down next to her, adding honey to your own cup. She imagined the subtlety of you glancing at her across a room, a knowing look in your eyes as she spoke with whomever about anything. She imagined the sudden way you could have her, sweeping her off her feet and kissing her as if it was the last thing you would ever do. She imagined you desperate, begging for her as she kissed over your neck and shoulders, tracing every inch of your scars with her lips. She imagined the hidden glances you could give her, hiding from others in the dark of your rooms. With each idea her heart beat faster, the ache in her chest growing. She couldn’t do this- she couldn’t want you like that. She only snapped out of it when Wednesday spoke again.
“Have you been in all of them?” Wednesday teased you, and you rolled your eyes.
“The fact that your mother has told you anything about me having any type of affair still haunts me, child.” You smirked, and the girl huffed in lieu of laughter. “But no. I have been in love like that, quick and primal, however I can’t say I’ve experienced much of the tenderness and adoration they have for each other. Moments of it, yes, but I have not lived in it in that way.” You answered her, and again, she gagged. You chuckled “Anything else?” You asked the girls, and Enid thought for a moment. She had a question, even if it was silly.
“Hmm, what’s your favorite flower?” She asked you, and you smiled, chuckling a bit. You glanced to Larissa, who was too busy watching you speak to even realize you were looking at her. “White irises.” You spoke softly, the comparison to the woman sitting across from you lost on her as she simply stared at you in bewilderment.
You were beautiful. The more you talked about love the more she wanted to- no, she couldn’t. Kissing you was one thing, but that? Love? Love wasn’t in the cards for her, she knew that. She had tried. She had tried to love others, she had given her heart away time after time, always only to find pain. Even her parents never gave it freely. Her parents had been the first ones to cut her off from it. Then there had been Morticia, and others followed after her. Love had to be earned, it was a price. She simply had nothing more to give.
“Are you alright?” You asked her quietly, your thumb running over her hand, and she snapped out of it, realizing she was staring.
“I, yes, of course, just tired.” She muttered, and you nodded. That wasn’t it, you could tell that wasn’t it, but you allowed her the space.
“We should head to bed girls.” You hummed, and Enid pouted.
“Not leaving.” Wednesday gritted, and you sighed.
“Wednesday, I don’t know if I can cary you right now.” You sighed, and she groaned, standing and waiting for you.
“Oh, so this is going to be a thing?” You asked her, and she glared.
“Say a word to anyone and I’ll put weed killer in your classroom.” She gritted. You narrowed your eyes.
“I’ll poison you.” She breathed, and you raised a brow.
“I’ll paint your half of the room neon pink.” You retorted. She faked a gasp, grabbing her chest.
“Good luck with that.” You smiled, still not getting up, and she smirked, taking Enid and going to the door. “Shower and pajamas first I may be exhausted but you are not tracking whatever the hell you did today into my bed!” You yelled, and the girl rolled her eyes as she left, leaving you sitting with Larissa next to you.
Silence hung in the air for a moment as you refused to take your hand from hers, you didn’t want to leave her. You wanted to stay with her again, in her arms, in her bed, yet the only reason she had done that was the fact that you could have quite literally died had she not, you reminded yourself.
“She’ll stay with me tonight.” You sighed, looking to the woman. “I- I can’t tell her no, not after everything.” You swallowed, and she tried to smile. You had to go. Your time with her was done. She knew it would come, and now it was over. She stood, finding her professionalism.
“Of course, I’m glad you’re alright.” She said politely, folding her hands in front of her. You furrowed your brows. She was, cordial.
“Larissa, I-“ you began, standing, but she cut you off.
“No, it’s, its quite alright, I understand. Go be with your family.” She said, and your heart fell.
“I, I have to go with her but that doesn’t mean that I-“ you tried, but she just shook her head, stepping away from you. It was good, she should end it now before it went any further. She had loved your sister once and seen where it had gotten her. She had loved others too, and it lead to the same place. She was not made to be loved, she was made to be strong, she told herself, ignoring the pain the familiar statement caused.
“Please go.” She said softly, and your eyes widened as you looked up at her. She couldn’t take it, you in just the sweater she had put you in, your bare legs and uncovered hands almost falling to her. She wanted to drop to her knees, to feel every inch of you, yet she knew she couldn’t. She had her moment with you, she had her kiss. It was time to let it go. “Please.” She repeated softly, and you felt the ache in your throat. She was pushing you away, now. Now she was sending you away. You swallowed, trying to force down the tears that threatened to come.
“Of course.” You swallowed.
“Goodnight, Larissa.” You whispered, the pain in your voice clear, even to her, as she left.
Chapter 11: Sweet as Peaches
Summary:
Larissa is interrupted by Wednesday and brought into one of the most intimate settings she has ever seen you two in. One that ends with her nearly broken open.
Notes:
Hello darlings!
Thank you SO MUCH for all your comments on the last chapter, I will start replying to them soon! I absolutely adore each one and it means so much to me that you comment! Hopefully you’ll like this one too!
Chapter Text
Larissa could barely sleep, she tossed and turned as she thought of you. It wasn’t fair, she laid in her bed, her sheets now stained with your presence, with your scent, it was all too much. She wanted you there again. She knew she shouldn’t. You had gotten what you needed, now you were with Wednesday, that was how it was supposed to be. You were with your family, and she was alone.
She managed to get maybe an hour of sleep in before she heard a knocking at her door. She groaned, staring at the ceiling for a moment and debating if it was really worth answering. She looked at the clock, it was just after four in the morning, there was no reason for anyone to be awake.
Her heart faltered, unless something was wrong with you. She was out of her bed and ripping the door open before she knew what was going on, only to come face to face with a very unbothered Wednesday.
“Is she alright?” The headmistress panicked, and Wednesday raised a brow.
“My aunt is fine, I simply wanted your… assistance, with something.” Wednesday said, and the woman glared at her.
“Miss Addams, it is four in the morning, what could possibly-“
“My aunt said I can’t break into the kitchens again.” Wednesday responded flatly, and Larissa’s brows shot up.
“You’ve been breaking into the kitchens?” She asked, and Wednesday stared blankly. Larissa sighed, running a hand through her loose hair. “Why do you need into the kitchens?” She asked the young Addams, and the girl stared at her as if the answer was obvious.
“I need canned peaches.” She said plainly, and the headmistress stared at her in confusion.
“Canned- what on earth do you need canned peaches for?” She hissed, and Wednesday rolled her eyes.
“I know you like my aunt, and I know she trusts you, she wouldn’t have taken your hand last night otherwise. Now would you, please, help me.” The girl gritted, and the headmistress’s eyes went wide. Wednesday Addams, saying please, what a surprise. She nodded slowly, almost mystified by the girl’s odd behavior.
“One… moment, Miss Addams.” The woman said, stepping back into her rooms and quickly changing and shifting slightly until her hair and makeup was as she usually wore it. When she stepped out into the hallway again, the young girl gave her a long, almost threatening look.
“Is everything alright, Miss Addams?” She asked, and the girl just ignored her, walking towards the kitchens, forcing the woman to follow her. Wednesday made it to the kitchen door, she looked mildly annoyed by the fact that she couldn’t just pick the lock, instead waiting for the tall woman. Larissa just sighed, opening the door for her and allowing her in. She knew that she shouldn’t be doing this, yet the lengths the girl would go to in an attempt to follow whatever rules you had clearly given her was charming.
She was also painfully aware of the fact that the girl would break into the kitchens regardless. Wednesday seemed to know where everything was, a fact not unnoticed by the older woman. She immediately went to the large pantry, pulling a can of peaches and a box of cake mix, before walking into the walk-in refrigerator, emerging with a stick of butter.
“Care to enlighten me as to what you’re doing?” Larissa sighed, and the girl shot her a hard glance before collecting a glass pan and spatula.
“She likes peaches, canned peaches.” The girl said, and Larissa furrowed her brows.
“Your aunt likes canned peaches?” She questioned, and the girl nodded, mostly ignoring her. “She can grow fresh peaches any time she likes, why would she like canned peaches?” The woman asked, and Wednesday glared at her before going back to her task.
“I don’t know Miss Weems, why would someone who grew up in what essentially amounts to a prison like the sweetest canned food you can get?” The girl said angrily, and Larissa reeled back a bit, swallowing. Wednesday clenched her jaw for a moment, seemingly forcing herself to calm down. “I apologize Miss Weems, I have known when she has been hurt before, but I’ve never witnessed it myself. It is regrettably, affecting my disposition.” The girl stated, and Larissa took a breath, almost feeling bad for the girl. She knew you two were close. You were the only one she had seen Wednesday actually look happy to interact with, nearly loosing you just have been the hardest thing the girl had ever experienced.
“She is through the worst of it now.” Larissa tried to ease her, and Wednesday nodded, quickly going back to her task.
“That doesn’t make it better.” The girl said, and Larissa nodded.
“No, but it does mean that we- that you didn’t loose her, Miss Addams.” She replied, Wednesday caught the mistake, looking up at her.
“Where in the United Kingdom did you grow up?” Wednesday asked her, and Larissa startled at the question.
“I- excuse me?” She asked, that was a complicated question. She tended to field any questions about her life before Nevermore, but that was far too personal for her tastes. “I suppose it doesn’t matter. My aunt likes Earl Grey, she used to make it for me when I stayed with her in Cambridge. She drinks it every morning. Considering you’re English, at least enough to have the accent, you’ll probably have a better shot at making tea she actually likes then I do.” The girl said, and Larissa tilted her head slightly, staring at her for a moment. The girl was giving her a task, she was trying to include her, it seemed.
Larissa stood for a moment before heading to the stove, taking out a kettle she thankfully had stocked in the kitchens when she began working here. She used to come down late at night to drink tea when she couldn’t sleep. There was an electric kettle in her room, naturally, however it never felt the same.
“You don’t have to start yet, this will take a bit less than an hour.” She said quietly, and Larissa sat, watching the girl begin to slice the butter into pads.
“What are you making?” She asked gently, and Wednesday bit back what she was sure was less than a kind reaction, choosing a kinder one, despite the visible effort.
“Peach cobbler, bad peach cobbler. She’ll eat the peaches straight out of the can if she’s tired or working.” Wednesday said offhandedly. Larissa felt a slight smile pull at her lips at the admission, the girl did care for you, enough to tolerate her presence, even seek it out rather than breaking the rules you had imposed, it seemed.
“Did you also learn that in Cambridge?” Larissa asked, and Wednesday shook her head.
“No, that was Switzerland, she made it at two in the morning one night when she had gotten back from work.” The girl answered, focused on her task. Larissa’s eyes widened, you had gotten back from work at two in the morning, that wasn’t a normal hour for a botanist to keep, certainly not one working at a university. Then again, that last call you had made that day didn’t sound like a university, yet you were undoubtedly talking to someone you had worked with.
“Two in the morning?” Larissa repeated, and Wednesday looked at her again, narrowing her eyes a bit.
“She was at the hospital, she flew in back to the university in Zurich that night.” Wednesday said. Larissa’s brows furrowed.
“What hospital had she been needed at that she couldn’t take you, let alone would have been important enough to leave you alone in Zurich?” The woman asked, highly concerned. Wednesday thought for a moment, her eyes flickering from the headmistress to the door a few times before settling back on her task.
“That is a question for my aunt, not me, Miss Weems.” The girl said, and Larissa puzzled as she looked at her. She watched as Wednesday set the oven, before dumping the cake mix on top of the peaches and adding butter in the pan.
“How old were you?” She asked in concern, only to jump when she heard a voice behind her.
“It was last summer, she was sixteen, and I had a colleague stay with her, and I was back within six hours.” You hummed, walking to your niece and pulling a slice of peach out of the baking dish before she had the chance to put it in the oven. “You’re going to make her think I’m irresponsible.” You winked to your niece, and she scoffed, rolling her eyes.
“Right, because she isn’t already aware that you’re mad as a hatter.” The girl deadpanned, and you smirked, doing a little bow with an imaginary hat.
“Mad and irresponsible are different things, mein liebchen, and if you get me fired I’ll have to go back to Europe.” You teased, and both Wednesday and Larissa seemed to panic a bit. Larissa felt an ache in her chest at the idea of you leaving. She shouldn’t, you didn’t even work at the school full time, yet the idea of you leaving was almost unbearable.
“You’re supposed to be sleeping!” Wednesday hissed, and you rolled your eyes.
“I’ve been sleeping for three days.” You hummed, a spark in your eyes when you ate the stolen fruit. Wednesday pulled the pan away from you and you pouted almost comically.
“You really should be resting.” Larissa argued, standing to escort you back to bed before you raised a brow.
“And allow my niece to tell you half stories until you ban me from your school? Never.” You teased, despite the exhaustion behind your eyes, and the woman sighed deeply at your antics. She wanted to pick you up and take you back to bed, to hold you there until you both fell asleep, yet watching you interact with someone so freely made her heart bloom in a way. It was breathtaking.
“Cobbler?” You asked Wednesday, and she nodded, placing it in the oven and coming back to sit with you and Larissa at the table.
“Yes.” She answered, and you smiled at her gratefully. “How is Mr. Jenkins?” Wednesday asked you, and Larissa’s head snapped to you at the mention of the man’s name. That was the name of the last man you had called when you were… when you were dying. Your eyes went wide.
“Oh shit,” you whispered, pulling out your phone from the loose pants you were wearing and dialing a number. It rang for a moment before you heard a man snarl in a thick Scottish accent on the other line.
“I don’t know how the fuck you got this phone, but I promise you if you laid a hand on Ophelia I will fuckin gut you like-“
“It’s me, Jenkins.” You said quickly, and there was silence for a moment. Then you heard something. A choked sound, a sob.
“Oh, thank fuckin’ Christ,” the man cried, and you laughed breathlessly, aware of the two others in the room watching you. Larissa watched as your body shifted, relaxing slightly as you spoke to the man.
“Careful, people will think you miss me.” You said, and he laughed.
“You never fuckin do that again, you hear me!” He yelled, and you chuckled again. Larissa just stared at you in shock. You were laughing. About your own death. As if this was normal.
“Yeah, I don’t plan on it.” You murmured, and he took a deep breath in.
“Are ye alright?” He asked you, and you huffed, stretching your neck from side to side.
“Tired as all get out, fucking colder than the alps, and stiff from laying in bed for a few days, but yes, yeah I’m alright.” You hummed, and the man laughed at you. Larissa, on the other hand, was only concerned.
“I- you need to talk to the girls.” He said, and you swallowed.
“Yeah, yeah I’ll call them, but I’m with your favorite braided menace currently and-“ you glanced to Larissa for a moment, unsure. “And someone else I need to be with for the time being.” You added, making Larissa’s breath catch as she looked away, a slight blush on her face. She didn’t know what that meant, but it meant enough to have her mind racing at the thought.
“Tiny Addams?” The man asked, and you rolled your eyes, turning the phone to speaker and placing it on the table.
“Keep it clean and above the table, Jenkins.” You warned, and the man chuckled.
“Tiny Addams!” He yelled, and Wednesday almost seemed to smirk, much to the headmistress’s surprise.
“Mr. Jenkins, do you still have that revolver?” Wednesday asked, and you scoffed, rolling your eyes.
“We’re in a school, please don’t get her expelled.” You groaned, and Jenkins laughed. Larissa, was staring at you in mild horror.
“Alright, I’ll behave ye fuckin’ hardass, alright!” He cursed, and you pinched the bridge of your nose, sighing deeply as Larissa’s eyes widened at the language your former colleague used.
“I asked you to keep it clean too, but why would we ever listen to me? It’s not like I was your boss for twenty years or anything.” You deadpanned, and the man laughed, ignoring you. Larissa, on the other hand, caught that. You weren’t just involved in a hospital, you were in charge of at least something. Though she had no idea what this man would do at a hospital. Jenkins continued, talking to your niece as if you never spoke.
“Yeah, I still got that revolver, you still a bloody sharp shooter?” He asked the young girl, and she smiled.
“Only when I have something worth aiming at.” She retorted, and you glared at her.
“The both of you are going to get me fired.” You sighed exhaustedly, and Wednesday smirked as Jenkins chuckled.
“Like anyone has the fuckin balls to fire you, Phil. You’re a goddamn class fuckin bonnie genius with a right hook like a fuckin boxer-“ the man began, and you banged your head on the table.
“I can only keep up with your Scottish when I’m drunk or you’re talking at least in a modern vernacular!” You groaned, and he cackled.
“Nane would fire ya, lass.” He said, leaning into it. Larissa just stared wide eyed at the very odd conversation.
“Considering I’m working at a school and not a lab yes, yes I can be fired.” You countered.
“Eh, you could always go about it the old fashion way.” He snickered, and your head shot up, a blush staining your cheeks.
“Jenkins…” you warned, your cheeks growing a little redder as Larissa raised a brow.
“Aye, ye just poison ‘em, or hang ‘em, or fuck ‘em, or sometimes all three!” He suggested, and you went red as a beet.
“Fergus Jenkins, I swear to god if you do not get your tongue in line I will get on a flight over there and beat some sense into your sorry, blood-sucking ass, do you hear me?” You threatened, and both women at the table with you just stared in shock. Larissa knew you were tough, she had seen you fight even, but this was a different kind. There was almost camaraderie in it, you liked this man, you knew him well. The fact that he had casually suggested murder, however, was mildly horrifying. Yet you were treating it as if this was somewhat normal.
“I’ll tell Moxie you’re middle name if you aren’t careful.” You challenged, and you could practically hear him panic.
“We’ll I’ll- I’ll teach Mirella how to shapeshifter into a fuckin bear!” He threatened, and you scoffed. Larissa, on the other hand, looked to you. Shapeshifters were rare, very rare, and the fact that you knew one, other than her, well, she had known you had worked with them, but knowing actual names felt different.
“First off Mirella is the most talented- oh,” you hummed, falling silent for a moment. Wednesday actually snorted. You glared at the girl, swatting her for her mischief. “Alright, second most talented shapeshifter I’ve ever met, and she can easily, easily do a bear.” You snarked. “You want to impress me, have her pull off a full corporeal person, with voice, and a clean and quick transition. That, is actually difficult.” You smirked, and the man groaned.
“Aye, now I get a fuckin lecture.” He sighed, and you laughed.
“Secondly!” You added, and the man groaned. “I know damn well you’ve worked with me long enough to know that shape-shiftER is a classification, you dumbass. So unless you want me to drag you back to DAY ONE of HOW NOT TO UPSET THE KIDS, I highly suggest you remember the correct terminology.” You smirked, and he groaned.
“I fuckin know the terminology, I’ve heard you scream ‘I need morphine, they won’t stop shifting’ enough times to scar anyone.” He gruffed, and the teasing smile fell from your face. It was silent for a moment as you looked up to Wednesday, the girl’s brows furrowing. That was odd. That wasn’t just odd, that was scary.
Larissa looked to you in a mixture of sadness and fear as she realized what that meant. That meant that no, what you worked at certainly wasn’t a normal hospital. You looked to her slowly, the color draining from your face as you realized what had just happened.
“Not morphine, Jenkins, not morphine.” You sighed, more tired then she had ever seen you. She had seen you die, and the look in your eyes as you looked to her when that man spoke about what you had seen, what you had said, it haunted her. Jenkins cleared his throat. Wednesday looked to you strangely, but you just ignored her.
“Aye, but I can’t say the other stuff and keep it above board.” He said, and you hummed.
“Like any of this is above board,” you scoffed. “I’ll remind Mirella to kick your ass if you slip up in front of a kid, you old bastard.” You hummed, and he chuckled.
“Why don’t you come kick my ass, doc? You’d do more damage even if Mirella was a bear.” He laughed, and you made it a few seconds before you burst out laughing.
“The best you could come up with was ‘Mirella do a bear’ she’s twenty not thirteen!” You cackled, and Larissa just shook her head at you. You were laughing, over shapeshifting things. And you were right. Shapeshifters were perhaps the classification of outcast with the most misinformation about them, yet you, you were right. You even knew the terminology. “That’s like asking me to grow a grass bush. Yes, it’s large, but it’s very simple.” You chuckled. He sighed.
“Not all of us fuckin raised a gaggle a’ misfits, Doc.” The man shot, and you rolled your eyes.
“You are always with me when we pick them up, and it’s not my fault when they wander down into the lab, I think I actually specifically asked you not to let them down, but sure, blame me.” You sighed tiredly. You rolled your neck out, the exhaustion creeping back into you.
Larissa noticed. She wanted to go to you. She wanted to pick you up and hold you, to keep you safe until all of the pain faded. Your words had her mind raging, but the exhaustion in your eyes, the pain behind them, that she wanted to take away. Yet last night, last night she had made it very clear that she couldn’t have that. Last night she had sent you away, and now here you were, opening yourself up, once again.
“Enough, too much, it’s- no more talk about things you can get me arrested for.” You chuckled, and the man scoffed.
“Fuckin smartass.” He mumbled, and you laughed a bit. “Fine, I’ll tell Tiny Addams about the time we were in a pinch and you were so fuckin high I had to physically put you in your chair while you hallucinated a six foot tall-“
“Aaaand, that’s enough of that, thank you Jenkins.” You groaned, quickly saying goodbye to the man before hanging up. Wednesday looked at you. You did your best to maintain eye contact as you turned absolutely red. Wednesday raised a brow as you staunchly avoided looking at Larissa. Wednesday smirked.
“You have type.” She said, and you glared at her, blushing.
“I’ll kill you.” You wheezed, and Larissa turned scarlet as Wednesday raised a brow.
“You’re predictable, I’m disappointed.” She said, giving a sidelong glance to the headmistress. Larissa looked positively mortified.
“Ah-Ah, absolutely not, if you have ire to give, you save it for me.” You hummed, turning the girl to face you once again. You stood, leading the girl up and beginning to twirl her in different directions with your hands, making her bite back a laugh. “I am, in certain ways, and yes, there are undoubtedly certain things I find attractive,” you began, and Larissa gaped at you as you effortlessly disoriented the girl.
“Miss Florere, I don’t know if this is-“ she began, but you chuckled, shaking your head and making the woman close her mouth in frustration. She had cut you off too many times, that was the reason she told herself as she begrudgingly allowed you to speak.
“However!” You interrupted, and she glared at you as you continued messing with Wednesday. “Yes, I am certainly attracted to strong women, but the affinity has always been much more for character than physical strength.” You explained, and Wednesday pulled away from you finally, her head spinning.
“That was unnecessary, and you are insane.” She growled, and you smirked.
“It shut you up.” You winked, pulling her back to the table and sitting down. You flicked your hands, a few seeds falling from your palms onto the table, and Larissa watched cautiously as you worked. You bloomed one into a orchid, right on the table, amusing your niece. It was beautiful, more simple that she knew you could create, but beautiful, and it took Larissa’s breath away. “Beauty, is important in this world, yes. And at least in my opinion on the, remarkably few, despite what your mother or Jenkins says, affairs I have had have involved women who I find very beautiful.” You hummed, and your gaze shifted to the second seed. A daylily bloomed this time, and Wednesday tilted her head at the resilient flower.
“Hemerocalis, known to be resilient and adaptable.” She said, and you smiled, lazily flicking your fingers and making it bloom brighter, despite the tiredness you showed. Larissa fought the urge to stop you, you should be resting, not using your ability to illustrate a point.
“Well done.” You hummed to your niece. “The strength of character, the person, matters far more to me than any looks do.” You explained, and she sighed, relenting. You pulled your hands back, and as your ability left the plants, the orchid withered instantly, but the daylily stayed. Wednesday, however, looked to the third seed.
“And this?” She asked, and you hummed. You looked at it and Larissa’s breath was stolen as an absolutely magnificent Juliet rose bloomed right in front of her. Her favorite, you had remembered. She looked to you, a faint dusting of pink settling on her cheeks as she looked at it. She couldn’t meet your eyes. She pushed you away, and you did this.
“Beauty, and strength of character are two parts of it.” You began. “But love, my dear, is neither common nor expected.” You hummed, and she looked in amazement to it.
“I haven’t seen this one.” She breathed, and you nodded.
“Juliet Rose, seventy petals, nearly impossible to bloom fully without someone like me around, and absolutely breathtaking.” You hummed, the nearly glowing pinkish apricot colored flower on the table in front of you.
“English?” She asked you, and you hummed, nodding at just staring at it. The irony was not lost on you. Your eyes flickered up to Larissa’s for a moment, and you nearly took her breath away. You looked wild, yet the honesty in you was so compelling, and the gesture was far from lost on her. You were allowing her to watch you, to witness you, as you were. She may push you away, but she couldn’t resist the magnetism of being under your spell. Wednesday, however, broke the moment.
“Who are your girls?” She asked you, and your eyes went wide. You searched for the words for a moment, looking far away.
“I have exceptional hearing. And Mirella.” Wednesday deadpanned, and you sighed.
“Some of the girls from the hospital, I was, I was the one who mostly took care of them after they were Ah, found.” You said carefully. Larissa’s brows furrowed, and you swallowed, looking to her for a moment. You couldn’t tell her. Legally, amongst other reasons, no matter how much you wanted to trust her. Trust. That was a bold thing. You didn’t know if you were still capable of it, but when you looked at her, you thought you might be.
“Found?” Larissa asked you, and you smiled sadly.
“I can’t tell you any more.” You breathed. “Under law, I- I’m not able.” You said, and her eyes widened a fraction. As did Wednesday’s.
“Were you an assassin?” The girl looked practically excited with the question.
“Hardly,” you chuckled. “I was an in-house researcher and medic, for an institution, that helped children, that’s all you need to know.” You said softly, and she almost looked disappointed.
“I suppose you couldn’t afford to teach and be an assassin.” The girl said, and you rolled your eyes.
“I’m still a good enough shot to keep you safe, don’t you worry.” You teased, and she scoffed.
“I don’t need your help being safe.” The girl said, and you raised your brows, shrugging.
“Very well then, I suppose I can head back to Cambridge when Miss Weems finds a new botany teacher.” You said, deliberately not looking at her for a moment. Both of them snapped their heads to you, Larissa looking mildly terrified as Wednesday seemed to regret everything. You snorted, covering it with your hand before coughing in an attempt to collect yourself. “Calm yourselves, you’ve got me for at least a little while.” You breathed, looking away before your face saddened for a moment.
You wanted to stay. You almost wanted to stay forever. You could imagine it, forever, here at Nevermore, with the woman you had been dreaming of since you were young. Yet in all likelihood that would never happen. You were good at many things, but love, love was not one of them. If you had looked to Larissa you would have seen the same thoughts crossing her mind as her throat closed up with emotion.
“Why can’t you give shapeshifters morphine?” Wednesday asked, and you sighed, closing your eyes. Larissa cringed, she knew it shouldn’t be done, as doctors had told her for most of her life. Doctors in general were nearly impossible as a shapeshifter, very few knew what to do with her, and fewer were respectful about it. You frowned slightly, deffering to Larissa with a hand gesture. The action surprised her. She knew you likely knew the answer, however you were allowing her to say what she wished. It wasn’t your abilities that you were exposing, so you left the choice to her.
“You can, if you’d like.” You hummed, and she blinked a few times, furrowing her brows.
“I- I don’t know actually.” She admitted uncomfortably, and your brows drew together in concern.
“You see a doctor regularly, don’t you?” You asked, your voice surprisingly, worried. It made the woman flush, you worried about her. You cared. It was a silly thing, really. She had never had someone ask about her doctors appointments, or to make sure she had tea when the nights got late and she was working. No one had ever done some late night baking with her, and the domesticity of it all overwhelmed her in a way she didn’t expect.
“Of course, I’m aware there are certain drugs I cannot take, no one has ever been able to tell me why, however.” She said, and your brows shot up.
“Oh my god, fucking- sure, great, wonderful, thank you, healthcare system.” You breathed angrily before closing your eyes and calming yourself. “God I want to do something stupid, you’re lucky I’m tired.” You groaned at the woman. She raised her brows at the outburst, but you just calmed yourself down after a moment. “You can, be given morphine, I mean. The reason it is dangerous to give shapeshifters morphine is because without running a blood test, a doctor cannot tell if you are in your natural state or not.” You explained, and she tilted her head curiously. “If you were to take a dose based on whatever form you were to take at the moment, it could either not work or kill you depending on if someone gave you too much or too little. That is the danger, the dosage, not the drug itself.” You explained, and she stared at you in shock for a moment.
“How on earth do you know that?” She eventually asked, and you smiled a bit.
“I had to. And I wrote a paper on it thirteen years ago.” You answered, and she just shook her head at you. Your mind amazed her. She looked into her eyes, the swirling grey almost mesmerizing her. It was beautiful. You, were beautiful.
It was silent for a moment, the three of you just sitting as you waited for the cobbler to cook. You looked down to your arm, fiddling with the bandages there. You realized that you didn’t know who had done it, well, you had an idea, you just weren’t awake.
“Did you do this?” You asked Larissa, your gaze enough to slightly startle the woman. She swallowed, you looked even-tempered, but her mind raced at the idea of doing something wrong. She immediately jumped up, taking your arm on instinct to inspect her work. You jumped slightly at the touch, but you didn’t pull away.
“Did I do something incorrectly?” She worried, her hand running over the bandage. You couldn’t help the color that stained your cheeks as she touched you. You had just been in her arms last night, but still, after years of not feeling any sort of touch on your skin, her pulling up your sweater to inspect the bandages had you shuddering. You just shook your head mutely, staring up in shock at the woman as she fussed over you. She sat next to you, pulling a chair close so she could remove the bandage, inspecting her work.
“Any pain?” She asked you, and again you just shook your head, staring at the surprisingly neatly stitched up wound, her hands caressing so close to it, over your other scars.
She was touching your scars.
You felt your heart race, your breathing become slightly deeper as she touched you, unable to form thoughts, let alone words. All you knew was her hands, her hands were on you, and for the first time in years it felt good.
“Ophelia, are you alright?” She looked to you, worry on her face at your reddened skin and wide eyes. You opened your mouth a few times to say something, but couldn’t find the words, leading the woman to lean forward, placing the back of her hand on your forehead to see if she could feel a temperature. She would have touched your skin had Wednesday not caught her arm, holding her a breath away from you.
“You’re overwhelming her.” The girl warned, and Larissa’s eyes snapped to her, the look on the young girl’s face murderous. Larissa could see you in her, she realized. She could see where the girl’s dangerous protective streak had come from. That, aparently, was enough to get you to form words again.
“No, she’s, she’s fine, just a little out of my head, is all.” You hummed, taking your niece’s arm away from the headmistress’s. Wednesday looked between the two of you carefully, but seemed to allow it. The girl stepped away, and you stood, walking over to the oven under the guise of checking it. Larissa’s heart dropped. She had gone too far, she overwhelmed you, she made you uncomfortable, now you wouldn’t let her back in. She started to panic. You would never let her close again, she would-
“Play me something.” You said softly, and Wednesday furrowed her brows, but pulled out her phone, connecting it to the speakers in the kitchen, much to Larissa’s surprise, considering she shouldn’t have been able to get into that network. You nodded as slow, smooth jazz began to play. “Little faster,” you hummed, and Wednesday picked something faster. “Oh, I fucking love Fleetwood Mac.” You smiled, raising your arms over your head and beginning to dance. Larissa’s jaw dropped as you swayed to the music, smiling as you began to dance in the kitchen. Wednesday just shook her head, but you pulled the girl’s arms and forcing her to dance with you.
You were out of your mind. Insane. Mad. Whatever the word was. You were dancing. At four in the morning. In the kitchen. That you shouldn’t be in. Yet you just danced, like nothing in the world could stop you. She had just been boggled by your apparently very detailed and applicable knowledge about her classification, a very rare classification, and now you were dancing in the kitchen, and bloody hell, she loved it.
“Auntie,” Wednesday complained, but you just shook your head, twirling the girl about before you released her, allowing her to do her own thing while you went to Larissa. You took her hand, making the tall woman gasp as you twirled yourself under her, before leading her hands around your waist and swaying with her for a moment. You craved her touch, you couldn’t help it. Barring Wednesday, and a few other children, she was the only person you had ever actually enjoyed touch from. You didn’t understand it, and you couldn’t bother to as you danced despite your exhaustion. Your eyes were closed, you were just listening to the music, but the beauty you held was still more than enough to strike the woman. You were out of your mind, clearly, dancing in a kitchen instead of resting, yet she felt an almost magnetic pull to your madness.
She breathed in sharply when your body brushed against hers, making your eyes snap open as you looked up to her. You froze for a moment, breathing a little faster as you looked up into her gorgeous eyes. She was stunning. A light blush played on her cheeks as she looked down at you surprised. You wanted to kiss it until it spread all over her body.
“Heaven help me,” you whispered, pulling away and going back to your neice before the moment could last too long to be considered appropriate. You just danced languidly, Larissa watching you with flushed cheeks as you moved about to the music. You twirled a bit, seemingly grounding yourself as you whirled around, laughing at nothing. You really were mad as a hatter. It was beautiful.
Wednesday went over to her, standing next to the tall woman.
“If you hurt her, I will kill you.” The girl said, making Larissa’s eyes snap to her.
“Miss Addams, I’m sure I don’t know what you-“ she began, choking on her words, as Wednesday cut her off.
“She just let you touch her bare hands. Not just that she actively sought out your touch. If you don’t know how much that means then you should evaluate her interactions with others more carefully.” The girl hissed, quickly moving away when you came close again. She took the cobbler out of the oven, and you practically squeaked in delight, the sound calling Larissa’s attention, despite the fact that her mind was still running a mile a minute.
You had sought out her touch, again, even after she overwhelmed you. There was almost an innocence to you in this moment, one that made her watch mystified as you dished out clumps of cobbler into three dishes, scrambling around for cutlery until you found spoons, plopping them in the bowls and sitting at the table, next to Wednesday, across from Larissa. She swallowed, looking down at the bowl.
“I shouldn’t infringe upon your time together,” she said, biting the inside of her lip. This was too much. Sitting with you and your niece, eating your favorite treat, this was too much.
“Please stay.” You whispered again, and Larissa’s eyes lifted to yours. You were looking to her truthfully, honestly, you were asking. Your eyes seemed to almost reach for her, the comfort she provided. She had been giving it to you for most of your life, even if she hadn’t met you until recently. “At least try it, you don’t have to eat the whole thing, and you don’t have to stay if you don’t like, but I would- I’d like you to, if you’d like.” You said carefully, and Larissa swallowed, relaxing a bit.
You still wanted her there. Releif washed over her, and she nodded, smiling lightly as she tentatively took a bite of your niece’s creation. She was pleasantly surprised when the warm concoction hit her tongue. It was sweet, very sweet, but there was a sense of home to it, almost. It made her sad and joyful all at once. She longed for a warm home, the kind where a tired mother would make this after work, or a father would in an attempt to appease his children. She longed for the feeling of home that she never quite new, yet she basked in the little slice of it. It was almost like she had been given a tiny bit of home as a gift. She looked up to you, swallowing down the dessert and her emotions as she saw the twinkle in your eye.
“Good?” You asked her, and her lips twitched slightly before she smiled.
“Surprisingly satisfying.” She conceded, and the warm smile you broke out into nearly took her breath away. You nudged Wednesday happily, making the girl nearly push you away before finally leaning into you a bit.
“Thank you, darling.” You said gently, and she nodded.
“It’s your favorite.” She replied nonchalantly, and you chuckled, looking up at Larissa and smiling.
“And thank you.” You added, and she shook her head, immediately brushing it off.
“No, I- I didn’t do anything, I just allowed her into the kitchens.” She said, and you smiled at her, the familiarity of it nearly making her heart stop. There was that smile again, the one that felt like it was just for her.
“That was more than you had to do.” You said softly, and she blushed a bit, nodding and just accepting your thanks rather than arguing more. “Did you tell her why this is my favorite?” You asked your niece, and she shook her head. You nodded. “I appreciate you allowing me to make that decision.” You said softly, and Wednesday sat up, finally going back to her own bowl.
“Between the two of you, there are so many secrets I can barely speak.” The girl quipped, and you furrowed your brows, blinking a few times as Larissa tensed.
“Yes, well, I can’t exactly share a lot of my old occupation, now can I?” You said, a little uncomfortable, and Wednesday rolled her eyes.
“I wonder who would win at poker.” She added, and you fixed her with a look. Larissa stiffened, glaring at the girl. She allowed Wednesday to get away with far too much, and with you there, the girl got away with murder.
“Hilarious.” You deadpanned, and she stared right back.
“I mean between what mother has said about either of you, you could form a club.” She said, and you tilted your head as the mood shifted. Larissa was beginning to get very uncomfortable, and your eyes darted from her to your niece as she shifted in her seat.
“Wednesday, I think that’s enough.” You said gently, and the girl narrowed her eyes. The girl got a particular look in her eyes, one that told you that she was up to something. You knew the face, it was her ‘I’m about to do something stupid based on a hunch’ face, and you gritted your teeth as you thought of whatever it might be.
“Are you nervous I’ll bring up the fact that neither of your parents wanted you?” She asked calmly, and your eyes went wide. She was joking, you both knew she was, but that was too far. That was much too far. Larissa felt her heart crack open. Wednesday shouldnt know that. The only person she had ever told was Morticia, and she had sworn never to tell-
And she had told Morticia. Of all the stupid things she had done, she had told her fucking roommate in a moment of weakness, and now a student knew! Now a student knew that even her parents had tossed her away. Just like Morticia had. Just like the others had after.she felt her face flush red, panic started to envelop her as she felt almost nauseous. Everything she had done, so much work went into keeping up her perfect appearance, yet this, this would shatter it irrevocably. All the work she had done, everything, she could loose it all.
What broke her, however, was the fact that you didn’t even look surprised. You knew. You knew, that her own parents didn’t want her. You knew, and the fact that you did felt like ice water being poured into her very heart.
“Wednesday!” You warned, reprimanding the girl, bringing up your issues was one thing, but she could not go after her headmistress. “Taking shots at me is one thing, but you will not, insult your headmistress.” You corrected harshly. Larissa swallowed, she had never seen you speak to her that way. You were staring firmly at your niece, however you could see the blood drain from Larissa’s face. She had hit a nerve, a deep one. “Apologize.” You said firmly, and she nodded, looking to the headmistress.
“I’m sorry, Miss Weems.” She sighed, and you glared at the girl.
“Too far, Wednesday. That was too far.” You sighed, and she at least had the sense to look mildly ashamed. She looked away, staring down at the bowl of cobbler. “I’m sorry, Larissa.” You swallowed, looking to the woman across the table from you. She took a deep breath in, attempting to collect herself.
“You are not responsible for her actions.” Larissa managed, and your heart broke at the strain in her voice. Your lips parted slightly in distress as you just stared at her, unsure what to do, how to help.
“I do wonder who lies better though, a woman who’s entire job was so secret she couldn’t even tell me or a shapeshifter?” Wednesday added, and you saw red.
“Wednesday Addams, enough!” You hollered, standing. The girl stopped at your sudden shift. “That is the kind of comment I would expect from your mother, not you, now I know you know very well what was wrong with that, so I highly suggest you apologize.” You snapped, and she narrowed her eyes.
“Sorry.” She said blankly, and you raised a brow.
“Not, to me.” You corrected, and she sighed as she looked to the headmistress, who was watching you both in shock. She had never seen you yell at your niece, and the fact that you did so on her behalf was certainly striking.
You were protecting her again, even if it wasn’t from any real threat, and it sent shivers through her. She was used to those kinds of comments about shapeshifters, yet apparently they struck a nerve with you.
“I am sorry, Miss Weems, again.” Wednesday gritted, and you glared at her.
“Do you have any concept, any at all of how hard it is to deal with that?” You spat. Wednesday went wide eyed as Larissa stared at you in absolute shock. You were angry, very, very angry. You were holding it back, but the rage was palpable. “Because the origin of that comment is not benign, not in the slightest, and if the idea of Newflight makes you sick it pales in comparison to what people who have said that very thing have created.” You breathed. You were shaking, actually shaking. There were tears threatening to spill from your eyes as you stared at your niece with barely controlled rage. This, this is what you felt for the children you worked with. The children who were once like her. It took Larissa’s breath away. “You don’t know, Wednesday, and neither does your mother because if she can barely handle a slip of an idea of what happened to me I can gaudente that neither of you can handle what happens when I have a girl half your age on an operating table trying desperately to stitch up wounds that you can’t even imagine in the hopes that she will somehow pull through enough for her to have a fucking shot at being able to use her ability without-“ you cut yourself off, slamming a hand over your mouth when you realized you were screaming. You felt tears in your eyes and you turned, slamming them shut and running your shaking hands through your hair. You took a slow, very shaky breath, staring blankly at the wall. “I’m sorry love, I’m very tired.” You breathed, your voice thick with emotion.
“Auntie?” The girl asked softly, and you turned around. You swallowed, setting your jaw as you finally looked at her. She looked horrified, almost as if she wanted sink into the floor right then and there.
“Go to your room, get ready for class, I don’t care, but until you remember exactly why I won’t tolerate that I suggest you do some thinking.” You said softly, and the girl sighed. Then, and only then did you look at Larissa. Her lips were parted in shock, her eyes wide and misty as she stared at you. Fuck you wanted to go to her.
“What- what exactly did you do that makes it hurt you that much to talk about my classification?” She whispered, and you shut your eyes for a moment, exhaling deeply through your nose.
“I- I can’t tell you that.” You choked, unable to look at her. It hurt. It physically hurt knowing. Knowing that you had helped so many, but you weren’t able to help her.
“I wanted to see what you would do.” Wednesday said, and you whirled around, narrowing your eyes.
“What I would do?” You asked, and she nodded once.
“If I insulted her,” she said, nodding to the headmistress. “I wanted to see how you would react.” She said, and you sighed, closing your eyes and shaking your head.
“Dear lord give me the strength.” You sighed, before fixing the girl with another stern look. “You are better than your mother. Do not stoop to her level of insulting people to get a rise out of them.” You warned.
“What, because mother compared her to a tree I can’t get away with implying she’d be good at lying?” Wednesday snapped, and you stood with such force the chair behind you toppled backwards. You were mad, you were beyond mad, and Larissa had half a mind to stop you before Wednesday actually experienced your anger. She didn’t know why you were so angry. The only logical explanation for any of this was if the children you worked with were not so unlike you, and if that was the case, you had a far heavier burden to bear than she could even imagine.
“Enough.” You said firmly, and Wednesday blanched “You know what, there is something I can tell you, actually.” You said slowly, and Wednesday’s eyes widened a fraction.
“Oh.” She said, and you stared at her, an almost hurt expression on your face.
“Do you think of me as a dangerous monster?” You asked her, only adding to Larissa’s confusion. If you went where she thought you were going, she was right on the money.
“No, I think of you as my aunt.” Wednesday replied, and you raised your brows.
“I could kill you at any moment, I could flick my hands and release pollen that would have you in full anaphylaxis in seconds, I could coat my skin in sap that would burn your skin away if you touched me, I could call forth vines that could rip you apart with nothing more then a thought.” You said calmly, and Larissa gaped at you. She knew you were strong, and that you had the potential to be deadly, but she had never thought of it like that. “Am I a weapon to you, Wednesday?” You asked the girl, and she looked away in shame.
“No.” She murmured, and you nodded.
“Then you do not get to accuse her of being a liar simply because of her ability. I have taught you better than that.” You said firmly, looking down at her through lashes holding back anger Larissa had never seen directed at your family. Neither had Wednesday. The girl nodded gravely. You turned to Larissa, your eyes betraying the shame you felt on behalf of your niece.
“I am, very sorry.” You said softly, and she took a sharp breath, her eyes flicking between the two of you. Not once, not once had she seen hurt like that in your eyes on behalf of anyone other than your niece. And it was for children of her kind.
“I would hope you don’t speak to other students that way, Miss Addams.” The woman addressed the girl next to you, and your brows raised for a moment before you turned back to Wednesday.
“Take some cobbler to Enid.” You instructed, and the girl furrowed her brows.
“I want to stay with you.” She said, and you sighed deeply, calming yourself.
“And you can, but for now I need to speak with Miss Weems, take some cobbler to Enid, and get ready for class. I’ll see you at the end of your day.” You instructed, and the girl glared daggers at you as she dished out another bowl.
“Ditching me to try to justify yourself to your employer is beneath you.” The girl snarked, and you tilted your head.
“Trying to correct my sister’s mistakes is not.” You responded, and the girl stared at you for a moment. Larissa could feel the tension between you two, the energy flying about the room. She had never seen you truly fight with your sister, but if this was a stare down between you and your niece, then she shuddered to think of you and Morticia ever going at it.
“Fine.” Wednesday gritted, taking the bowls and storming out of the room. You watched her go, sighing heavily and shaking your head before looking at the woman across from you. She was raging against the thoughts in her mind. She knew you knew things, things that she had tried her entire life to hide and forget. Yet you, you knew so much, more than you would tell her, and it terrified her. Her entire life was built upon the ruse of perfection. She was the first, and only shapeshifter head of a public institution, not to mention one for children. If there was so match as a crack in the facade, it all came tumbling down.
“I’m sorry, I didn’t know she was going to-“
“How much do you know about me?” The woman asked you, and your breath hitched. This was not an easy conversation to have. The answer wasn’t simple, it couldn’t be. Both too much and not enough, you felt like a stranger who had known her, intimately, for almost your entire life.
“I- Larissa, you don’t want me to-“ you tried, but she cut you off, and you felt your heart drop when you noticed the tears in her eyes. She was so tense, always so tense. She had to control it, she needed control, it was everything to her, it was how she got where she wanted to be, yet here you were, breaking all the walls she had so painstakingly built of control down.
“How much.” She gritted, and you shifted on your feet, immediately moving to sit next to her. You felt the need to, despite every ingrained instinct, you needed to go to her, to help her through what you knew would be painful, what already had been for you. The action surprised her, she knew you didn’t like to be close, even after everything, she knew it was still hard for you.
“Larissa that is not an easy question to answer.” You said tentatively, looking up into the woman’s eyes. She was trying not to cry. You could see her lip shaking, whatever it was she was trying to figure out if you knew, it hurt her, it hurt her more than you could imagine.
“Tell me.” She rasped, and you looked down and away, nodding. It was not comfortable. It was painful, actually. You knew how much this hurt. You knew you had your hands in her very heart, she was bared open for you to see, and it broke your heart that you had seen it without her showing you.
“I- I know from Morticia that you were disowned very young, around the time you went to Nevermore. I know you changed your surname, but I do not know the original one.” You breathed, and she tensed, her breath shaking slightly, her eyes were red, hurt. You wanted to wrap her up and hold her close, to protect her from all of it.
The realization shocked you. You almost never wanted to touch anyone, let alone hold them. The idea was normally enough to make your stomach turn in fear. Yet now, with her, you just wanted to hold her close. You could feel your face heating up at the realization, your hands shaking slightly. Larissa caught the reaction, her eyes widening at your shaking hands, but you just tucked them away, swallowing down your own issues. You had to continue, you couldn’t let your panic affect her now.
“I- I focused on you for a long time, and with the amount my sister gave me of you, I-“ you cut yourself off, taking a deep breath in an attempt to center yourself. “I know that your father was cruel to you, I have seen visions of that, but it’s, I’ve never seen his face, or exactly what he had done, but I’ve seen you as a child curled up in a room with such, with such fear it enraged me that anyone would ever do that to their child,” you gritted, and Larissa’s face changed.
You couldn’t look at her, you were looking away again, unable to meet her eyes as your own filled with rage so palpable it struck her. You weren’t angry at her, the disgust that seized you wasn’t for her. It was for those that had treated her cruelly.
That’s when it hit her, you had snapped at Wednesday when she had treated her cruelly. That was the first, and only time, she had seen you angry at the girl. You wouldn’t harm Wednesday, you probably wouldn’t even truly punish the girl, but you were, protecting her. It made her shudder, but it made her want to sob uncontrollably all the same. The fact that you could look at her, like that, knowing what you knew, it was like nothing she had ever felt. It felt like acceptance.
There was pain inside of you, but no judgement, and as she realized that unlike your sister, you understood. Morticia had made her ashamed of the fact, but you, you understood.
“I am sure my previous colleagues have a file on you, on your childhood, however I never looked for it I- I have seen so much of you that I didn’t think it fair to pry.” You choked, your throat closing as you fought back tears of guilt. It felt wrong. How dare you. How dare you see so much of her without her permission. The hatred you turned in on yourself had you reeling.
It was then, and only then that you looked up at her. Your face dropped as you saw the tears streaming down her face, and you were up and wiping them away before you knew what you were doing. You cupped her face in your hands, hushing her as you cleaned them away, leaning down slightly until you were close enough to take her breath away. Tears began to stream down her face, she couldn’t do it. She was breaking. You knew, you knew the disgusting shame inside of her and yet you touched her so tenderly it felt as if she may fall apart.
“You are not alone. Not even close.” You whispered, and she felt something in her snap. Her arms wrapped around you, pulling you into her as she buried her face in your chest, sobs racked her body, shaking her as she cried, silent as she was, the vibrations still shook you to your very core. Your arms tentatively wrapped around her, rubbing her back gently as you hushed her. “You’ve carried this weight alone for far too long, Larissa, it’s alright, I’ve got you.” You whispered, holding the woman as best you could as she sobbed silently, “I’ve got you.” You repeated, and she just nodded into you, her hands clutching onto the sweater you wore.
You just continued, rubbing her back as the tears slowed. Her entire life she had felt so alone, so terribly unwanted. Yet there you were. You were with her, holding her, and she was far from alone.
It felt like hours. Larissa cried until she felt like there was nothing left in her, like her chest had been ripped open and her very soul pulled violently from her, as if it was laid bare before you, bleeding and ugly at your feet. Yet the tenderness with which you touched her, it made the pain lesson, as if you could beat it back with your warmth.
She shuddered in your arms, somehow pressing her face deeper into you. She breathed you in, the familiar earthy scent of petrichor and flowers greeting her, with the wild, almost dangerous undertone that was so uniquely you.
“What perfume do you wear?” The woman husked against you, and you cleared your throat at the question. That was certainly not what you expected.
“I- ah, Im not wearing any. I just sort of smell like certain flowers. It changes, depending on certain things I- I can change it if you like-“ you rushed, and she just shook her head.
“No, it’s, it’s nice.” She whispered, and you just nodded, running your hand over her shoulder. She froze, realizing what she was doing. She was wrapped around you, clutching you to her as she buried her face into your chest, your very warm, full chest. She could feel your breath shuddering, your heart racing as she held onto you.
She went rigid, immediately pulling away as a heavy blush stained her cheeks. Here she was, just hours after you had woken up, sobbing and hanging on you as she spilled her heart out onto your dark red sweater. She was out of all control, practically forcing you to comfort her, showing you parts of her she hid from everyone, parts of her that were weak, disgusting.
“I- I am so sorry Miss Florere, I didn’t mean-“ she panicked, only you feel you slip your bare hand around her jaw and tilt her head to look at you. Her eyes almost fluttered closed at the touch. Your hands, they were so warm, so gentle. Her breath stuttered as she looked up to you.
“Don’t do that,” you whispered. Her jaw dropped. “Please don’t do that, it hurts me to watch you do what I used to do to myself.” You whispered, and her eyes once again filled with tears.
Chapter 12: Visions of You
Summary:
You comfort Larissa, the gentleness of you thoroughly surprising her. When she gets a glimpse into your past, as well as what you have seen, how you can be so gentle shocks her. When Wednesday needs you, she is left completely amazed at what you will give, if you have to, for those you care about.
WARNING: SMUT/TRAUMA/MENTIONED ASSAULT/DESCRIPTIONS OF VIOLENCE/ATTEMPTED ASSAULT/SLIGHT GORE
Notes:
Hello darlings! This one is, a lot. Also, I will be updating on the weekends now as opposed to Thursdays given I am back in classes. It also takes me a little longer to respond to comments, but I’m doing my best!!! Please let me know what you think, and feel free to support me if you liked this chapter, links to do so are at the end!
(Also, the song used at the end is called “Fish Inside a Birdcage” from the band Fish Inside a Bird Cage)
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
She felt like she had been crying for hours.
For hours she had done nothing but lay in your arms after you took her back to her room, you holding her close as she felt like her very soul was pouring from her body. You were soothing as you hushed her, letting her hair down and combing your fingers through it.
You stayed calm, your heart breaking for the woman as the storm inside of her raged and swirled. You had been where she was, and you had helped many others through it, but never like this. Never had you offered up your own heart like this. It was never intimate in the way this was. Those were children, and she was, she was everything.
If she was anyone else you would be certain she was going to loose control of her ability and go into a shape shifting blitz. It wasn’t anyone else though, it was Larissa Weems, the woman who had eased your pain for years without even knowing you existed. It was enough to nearly break you.
Yet she had held you for so long, kept you warm and safe while you were healing, and you would rip anyone apart who attempted to keep you from doing the same.
She had cried herself into silence, no sound coming from her as she just took slow, almost shocked breaths. You knew what it was, you had worked with children who had been through similar things time after time, not to mention experiencing it yourself when you were young. You knew the release that came once they allowed themselves to cry. You knew what it felt like to cry until it felt as if your very soul had been drained from your body. Just as you knew the numbness that followed it.
“How do you do it?” She whispered, and for the first time, the great woman sounded, weak. You felt your throat close up at the realization, anger flooding you as you thought of the man, of the people who had made her feel this way.
“It depends,” you answered slowly. “I have tried many different things, but the only thing that has worked is riding it until it passed.” You said softly, and she stared up at the ceiling, still laying half on top of you. You were careful, the high neck of your sweater and long sleeves meaning she would never come in contact with your actual skin, even as your hands traced slow patterns over her clothed back.
She shuddered at the touch, it was almost disconcerting how gentle you could be. How you could hold her with almost no thought. Her mind was numb, but her body felt a sense of familiarity, safety even, at your touch.
“You must think me pathetic.” She sighed. “With everything you have been through and somehow I am the one sobbing like a child.” She rasped, and you took her by the jaw, startling her when you forced her to look at you. Your blackened fingers were tender, gentle, yet they held a firmness reflecting the conviction she found in your eyes. The normally peaceful gray hard as stone with what felt like powerful truth.
“You were a child. You were hurt, as a child. No child deserves that.” You said strongly. “No child, no matter what, deserves what you went through.” You breathed. “I don’t know the specifics, I’ve only seen flashes, but I have felt what you felt and no one, no one deserves that. Certainly not you.” You said with such power, despite the shake in your voice. It felt as if even your own voice, the voice that she so adored, couldn’t contain your meaning. “Do not compare pain, Larissa, it only adds to it.” You said softly, before blinking away your own tears, brushing back a strand of her hair and turning your own face towards the ceiling to hide the intense ache for her you had at the small gesture. You were silent for a moment, taking a deep breath as you centered yourself, trying to ignore the pleasant weight of her against you. “I think you are incredibly strong.” You breathed. “And far too hard on yourself.” You added, and the woman swallowed.
“I have to be.” She replied, and you shook your head.
“Not like that.” You whispered.
She remained silent, tentatively running her hand over the collar of your sweater. You flinched back a bit, and she pulled back instantly, fear flooding her. She made you uncomfortable. Again. Here you were putting aside all of your own feelings, your own issues, for her, and she had pushed it too far.
“I’m sorry,” She rasped, and you looked to her sadly, taking her hand in yours. You hated yourself for it. You hated yourself for how terrified you were of something you wanted so badly. Her eyes widened when you gently rubbed your blackened thumb over the palm of her hand, giving her a light squeeze before letting go.
“Do not apologize for that, darling, that is my own history, not you.” You said softly, and she swallowed, blushing and nodding a bit. She knew how you spoke. She was used to how you spoke to others, the pet names and tender words that could slip from your lips were utterly enchanting, but directed at her, directed at her they made her heart do summersaults in her chest. A simple ‘darling’ had her blushing as if nothing could be sweeter. She pulled away, and you hummed as she sat up, standing quickly and trying to gain control of herself.
“That was highly inappropriate.” She breathed, and you tilted your head, raising your brows. You were trying your best to fight off your own reaction, the second she pulled away you could feel yourself chase after her, and it terrified you. It terrified you how much you wanted her. You felt your heart sink.
“Touching me? I’ve already told you I… I like it.” You hummed, and she took a deep breath in, shaking her head. She was ignoring your words, not even daring to think about the meaning let alone the rarity of you enjoying her touch. She tried to rationalize it, she knew that you didn’t touch anyone, of course she would feel nice, she was the only one you let close.
“No, I- well yes, however- It is not your job to console a grown woman crying over what happened to her as a child.” She breathed, shaking her head in distain.
You sat up on the bed, staring at her for a moment. She had shut herself down so quickly, guilt and shame flooding her the second she pulled away. It broke your heart for the woman. There had been a time when you did that as well. When you would rather pretend that nothing had ever happened, as you punished yourself for all of it.
“Have you ever cried over it before?” You asked her, and she looked to you strangely. You could practically see the disgust she felt at the idea. The weakness of crying, she would never, she could never. Her mother had told her countless times, girls don’t cry, they are to remain silent.
“I don’t see what that has to do with anything.” She said quickly, and you hummed, staring out the window for a moment. You knew that the anger wasn’t directed at you. She felt exposed, vulnerable. If she needed to lash out at you, then so be it. She wouldn’t be the first. The strongest, perhaps, but not the first.
“You cannot grow from the child you lost until you mourn her.” You whispered, your voice far away for a moment. Larissa was about to argue when she saw the look on your face. It was distant, as if you were looking at something that was no longer there. A shadow, or a ghost of some kind. She swallowed, she could see her for a moment, the young girl you once were, chained to a bed and starved, hair matted to your head. She could see the pain that girl had been through, but just as quickly as it came, it was gone. You blinked, your face shifting back, and it was over. You looked to her, the light finally returning to your eyes as you blinked a few times, snapping yourself out of it.
“And where, where did you learn that, Miss Florere?” She asked you, and you hummed, tilting your head for a moment and thinking. A woman named Georgiana had taught you that. A doctor, right after you had been broken out of Newflight, a woman who would later hire you for a small operation that you would transform into what it was today. Hope. You smiled briefly at her memory, of the woman trying desperately to stitch you up, deep in the woods outside of the institution you were once trapped in, as you shivered from the cold and the hunger engrained so deep in your body she almost thought the next gust of wind would blow your soul from this plane.
“A doctor in the woods we were camping in after I broke out.” You smirked, and Larissa’s eyes widened.
“Broke- Broke out!” She exclaimed, and you chuckled, swinging your legs and hopping off the bed.
“At the time it was breaking out or my life, can you blame me?” You asked her, looking to her carefully. She inhaled slowly, unsure.
“I cannot, I- I don’t. But you must know hearing a woman I hired broke out of an institution is not exactly calming.” She sighed, and you shook your head.
“Oh, Miss Weems, if you think that is the maddest thing I’ve done, then you are far more innocent then you appear.” You chuckled, and she swallowed. There was a twinkle in your eye, one that made the flush return as she felt her pulse quicken slightly. She didn’t know how you did it. How the look of slight mischief and madness on you would be more than concerning on anyone else, but when you did it, it made her heart flutter. She swallowed, steeling herself. Two could play that game.
“I appear as something else to you?” She challenged, taking a step closer. You raised your brows. You did your best to ignore the way her challenge lit a fire in you, the way it had you aching to kiss her again, to show her exactly what you thought of her. Memories of visions flashed in your mind, her under you, writhing and gasping as your tongue worked for hours upon hours buried between her legs or tracing every inch of her skin.
“I think you know what you appear as to me.” You breathed, and she narrowed her eyes slightly. She inhaled sharply as red rosettes once again bloomed in your hair, creating a warm feeling inside of her, one that slowly settled deeper into her abdomen, making her shudder. “Are you alright?” You asked her concern in your voice as you stepped forward, dropping the game for a moment given what had just happened. The woman glared at you. It was infuriating. She wanted you, and you were so gentle, so caring to her. It burned her.
“Oh for fuck’s sake!” She hissed, walking towards you and grabbing your hand in an attempt to get you moving.
What happened, however, was your head snapped back, your eyes rolling skywards as your body gave out. Larissa panicked as she pulled you close, wrapping her arms around you before she too felt the pull. It was a vision, and a powerful one, only this time you weren’t controlling it. She felt her consciousness shrink through her body, traveling down into her chest before crossing over into you through your entwined hands.
She never felt her body hit the floor.
What she did feel, however, was an intense feeling of lust as she opened her eyes in her bedroom, once again, only the walls almost seemed like they were painted in water color. It was night, as well, the fire in the room keeping it warm, however the heat she could feel was not remotely caused by that. She knew she could feel similar to what you felt during your visions, but this, this was an intensity she had yet to experience. Heat flooded her body, heat that nearly brought her to her knees. She gasped as she felt wetness bloom between her legs, nervously pressing them together in an attempt to stop whatever it was that had her this aroused.
“Ohhh, fuck Larissa!” You hissed, and her eyes snapped in utter shock to the bed, seeing you laid out on it. She turned a shade of red she didn’t even know was possible as she watched herself bury her head between your thighs, your fingers clawing at the sheets as you panted. She felt her heart nearly stop. You were writhing under her, your head thrown back as you encouraged her breathlessly.
“Fuck, you’re such a good girl for me, don’t stop, darling,” You breathed, and she watched as the vision version of herself moaned, wrapping her hands around your thighs and pulling you into her further. You laughed breathlessly, a sound that quickly devolved into a moan as your face contorted in pure sin as you were grinding against her face, chasing some sort of relief from the building tension. “Oh we liked that, did we?” You panted, and she watched herself moan and nod into you, her hands dragging over your exposed ass and thighs.
Larissa gaped, she knew you were gorgeous, she had seen you naked when she changed you, she had held you in her bed throughout the night, but the way you writhed in the firelight put it to shame, it stole her breath away and caused a rapidly building need between her thighs. A need that was all her own. She could feel your arousal, she could feel your absolute need for her, yet watching you, watching you like this, it woke a hunger in her she had never felt. She had no idea how you could see things like this and hold a conversation with her, how you could be so gentle when you knew this is what it felt like to be with her.
“That’s a good girl Larissa, just like that, baby,” you breathed, and both the vision and the headmistress moaned in tandem. She squeezed her thighs together, she couldn’t do this, she didn’t know how you could see things like this and then pretend to be fine. She didn’t think she could ever look at you without this engrained into her mind. The way the firelight reflected off your skin, the way you whispered her name like a prayer, your hands searching for leverage in the sheets as she gave you nearly more than you could take.
Another moan fell from your lips and Larissa gritted her teeth, she knew she should look away, that it wasn’t fair for her to see this, but she couldn’t remove her eyes from your writhing body. You were powerful, she realized. She had seen it before, known it before, but the way the muscles in your thighs tensed, the way your back arched when the vision of her hit a certain spot. This was power. And it was thrilling.
“Yes darling, right there- oh god- fuck you’re doing so good for me Larissa,” you nearly whimpered, and she bit her lip so hard she thought she may draw blood.
It felt so good, she knew you were speaking to her, to a different version of her, but the sweet praise dripping from your lips as she pushed you closer and closer to the edge made her nearly whimper in need.
“Just like that darling, just like that, ohhhh fuck I love your tongue,” you whimpered, and she gasped at you still. You rolled your hips into her, seemingly unable to stop yourself. “God you’re so good for me, so perfect- fuck! So fucking beautiful, I- I need you,” you whispered, and she watched as the vision of her brought her hand to the apex of your thighs, teasing you for a moment. “Yes! Please darling, I need you, I need you to fuck me, please, please I need you~” you rushed, and Larissa watched as you practically screamed when the vision of her thrust her fingers into you, making you arch off the bed.
Then the vision seemed to flicker for a moment. It almost got dark, the water-color walls shifting to something much darker, much colder for a second before shifting back.
You arched against her, crying out as she kissed your body while her fingers were buried inside you, she couldn’t see exactly what she was doing, but from the way you bent off the bed, she was doing well, incredibly well. The wild spark that always inhabited your eyes had become a burning flame with the intensity of the sun and stars itself.
“Fuck, Larissa, love, my darling, please, please don’t stop!” You begged, and she could feel herself nearly go mad at your words. You called her so many sweet things, begging her not to stop, begging her to keep touching you. Touching you. She was touching you, and she had never seen you look like you wanted anything more. “Here, please, come here,” you panted, and she watched as the vision of herself climbed up your body, her fingers still fucking into you as you pulled her down for a kiss that looked so desperate and feral Larissa felt herself clench around nothing. Fire burned through her veins as she watched herself fuck you, as she watched you claw at her as you got closer and closer to the edge. You leaned up, grabbing her by the hair and pulling her close to whisper against her lips. Larissa felt her breath stop as she watched, the air caught in her lungs. “Be a good girl and make me come like only you can.” You whispered against her lips. Larissa felt herself twitch, her underwear getting impossibly wetter as she watched the vision of her nearly growl before pushing you back down and fucking you into oblivion.
The vision flickered again, to a dark room with another bed in it, only this one was filthy, the fluorescent light flickering in the darkened room, she thought she heard a sob before it flickered back to you nearly screaming in pleasure, crying out her name as you crashed over the edge.
“YES! All yours, love! all yours,” you nearly screamed, your hands tightening around her as you began to come undone on her fingers.
She didn’t even have time to register the moment before the room changed again. Larissa gasped in utter horror at what she saw. You were on the bed still, but you were younger, much younger. No older than your niece was now, and you were beaten worse than she had ever seen. You cried as a thin slip clung to your skin, blood streaked across it and dripping from your nose and lips, where they had been split open.
You had a black eye, and your face was covered in bruises across your cheeks. You had your equally bruised arms wrapped around yourself, holding your legs tight and closed, but she could see the stains on the nightgown. Some of it was blood and grime, but some made her physically ill to imagine what it could be.
You were sobbing, your small, incredibly frail looking body shaking as you stared at something across the room from you. This was the girl, the inhumanly thin and nearly dead girl she had seen before, only you weren’t strapped down this time, you were awake, and if the way you held yourself was any indication, you were in horrific amounts of pain.
It was terrifying. Utterly terrifying. The bruises around your wrists and ankles reminded her that yes, you were often put in restraints. The blood smattering and dripping over you revealed how beaten you were. But what are her sick, what made her sick was the way you were desperately clutching your legs together, your slip torn as if someone had tried to rip it off you, you were frantically trying to cover yourself, to shrink back into nothing. Larissa heard a groan from behind her, and she shuddered.
Fear, pure, all encapsulating, paralyzing fear gripped her, yet it almost felt like there was a force around her heart, keeping it from truly reaching her. It felt like you. Even now, even like this, you were protecting her. You may not be in control, but your instinct was strong enough to shield her from as much as you could.
She heard a sickening cough, and turned around slowly, painfully slowly.
She could never have been prepared for what she saw.
Four men were hanging from a mass of vines, climbing up the walls and ceiling until they could support the weight of four grown men. Three of them had their pants by their ankles, only the mass of vines had seemingly ripped off the appendages that were once there.
They had tried to- she couldn’t bear the thought of it.
One was hanging by the arm, his head bent back at a sickening angle, a vine stuffed down his throat so far that he couldn’t breathe, Larissa could see it bulging inside his abdomen, it had crushed him from the inside out. The second man was hanging by his throat, his neck broken from the force, a vine crushing his windpipe until blood was leaking from his eyes, ears, and nose from the pressure. The third man was trapped against the wall, his entire body smashed into it and covered with the green mass. He was flatter than any human should ever be.
The fourth man, however, was still alive.
Larissa watched in horror as he cut himself down with a knife he seemingly had on him. He was bleeding from where his temple must have bashed into the wall, his arm broken, and his leg twisted at an odd angle as he limped over you.
“You’re going to pay for that you little bitch!” The man spat, blood dripping from his face as you just sat there and cried, curled up in a ball rocking yourself back and forth. That was the look of a girl who knew what was coming, and who knew that no one was going to help her. No one was going to stop it. Larissa couldn’t move, she wanted to stop him, wanted to grab him and finish the job for the child version of you.
Rage ripped through her like nothing she had ever felt. How dare he, how dare he touch a child like that! How dare he touch you like that! His good arm wrapped around your ankle, pulling you to the edge of the bed and locking your legs into the restraints there.
The scream you let out when the man’s fingers wrapped around you was something Larissa would never forget.
The room flickered again, and Larissa gasped as she found herself back in her room, only horror seized her once again as she realized why. You were still on the bed, still crying out her name as you came, but the moment you lost control of yourself she watched as vines erupted from you, pushing the vision of herself back and across the room, pinning her to the wall.
She gasped as she heard the sickening crack of bone, heard herself cry out and clutch her arm before the vines seemed to almost shrivel in on themselves, dropping her and making her slump to the floor. You were up and across the room faster than anyone should be able to move, your legs still wobbly and your head still spinning as your cheeks remained flushed and tears began to stream down your face.
You looked to her in utter horror. This time, she felt guilt pressing up against her. Your shield of protection around her was still there, but the sea of guilt that flooded her took her breath away, nearly dropping her to her knees.
“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry, fuck, I’m so sorry!” You sobbed, and she watched you fall to your knees in front of the vision of her, immediately running your bloody hands over her, the droplets from where the vines had detached smearing over her skin as you frantically checked for harm. “I didn’t mean to, Larissa, I swear, I- I didn’t mean to, I just lost control, just for a second, I’m so sorry,” You sounded nearly hysterical. She had never heard you like that, never heard you that desperate and pleading. Through it all though, your focus was solely on the vision of her. You forced her dazed eyes to look at you, cupping her jaw to hold her head up.
“Wh- what was- Ophelia did you- how could you?” She watched the vision rasp, and she could physically feel your heart shatter.
It all went black, she felt herself practically slam back into her body, gasping for air as she opened her eyes, once again in the world of the living.
You pulled away, running to her bathroom where she could hear you wretch into the toilet. She sat on the floor, numb and shaking as she heard you run the water, gasping for air as you emptied your stomach. You were sick. You seemed to get sick after the worst ones.
Her ears were ringing, she had just seen you, she had seen you gorgeous, absolutely sinfully enchanting, then so hurt the sound of your scream still echoed in her ears. And then. Then she had watched you loose control, throw her back as your body panicked, trying to protect itself from the only kind of touch it knew. She couldn’t see anything through the tears clouding her eyes, she couldn’t hear over your broken scream still echoing in her ears.
“-sa” she heard the tail end of something, and looked up confused. “Larissa,” she heard your voice call again, and the world seemed to snap back into focus as she looked at your face, you were kneeling in front of her. She was sitting on the floor, leaning against the end of her bed, as you kneeled in front of her. “Are you alright?” You husked, your voice broken and tight with tears. The horror in her eyes when she looked at you made you want to cry. You wanted to rip your heart out.
She was looking at you scared. You had never wanted her to look at you that way. Many had, but up until now, not her. The fact that you had scared her, that she was scared of you, slammed into you with such a force you thought it would bring you down right then and there. You choked back a sob as you repeated your question.
“Are you alright?” You nearly cried, and she just blinked at you, tears blooming in her bright blue eyes.
“Tell me that wasn’t real.” She breathed, and you closed your eyes for a moment, trying to steady yourself. Your hands were shaking, she realized. You must have had a pair of gloves on you, because she realized they were once again back on your hands, taking the little bit of contact she had with your skin away from her. Her breath stuttered as she looked at them, fighting back more tears as she realized she wouldn’t get to touch them again, she wouldn’t get the comfort of your warm hands on her skin.
You felt yourself shake as you tried not to cry, looking back up at her as you bit your lip for a moment, trying to ignore what it felt like to have Larissa, Larissa, the woman who had gotten you through the darkest parts of your life without even knowing you, look at your hands in fear. You pulled them back, until they were at your sides, as far away from her as possible.
“The- the one with the both, the both of us, that was not real.” You swallowed, and she shook her head.
“No,” she whimpered, and you felt tears streak down your own face. You panicked. Your breath was stolen as you panicked, you couldn’t think, couldn’t breathe, you just needed to reassure her.
“I’m so sorry, I would never- Larissa, I would never hurt you like that, please believe me, please- I’m so sorry- it’s just a vision, they rarely come true, please, please I-“ you were cut off as she grabbed you, pulling you into her until you fell forward, straddling her lap and laying against her chest. You froze. She should be scared, terrified, not-
“Please tell me they didn’t do that to you?” She whimpered, and you felt your own throat close up. She was holding you. She had just seen what you could do, and she was holding you. Choosing to touch you. Her hands were careful, never going to your actual skin, staying on the fabric covering you, but she was holding you, clutching onto you almost. Your heart nearly stopped.
“I- I was younger, I didn’t have full control of my ability, I didn’t mean to kill them-“ you stuttered, only to be cut off by her harsh sob. Her arms wrapped further around you, pulling you close. Your words died in your throat as you choked on emotion. She was holding you. Just like she had before, even after seeing you- hurt her. “Larissa,” you swallowed, and she just shook her head, pulling you in until you fully straddled her, tucking your head into the crook of her neck, wrapping your own arms around her. You shuddered, the bare skin of your face just a breath away from her neck as you rested on her shoulder. It was so close, you were terrified. You were still tense, but you gave her the touch she was asking you for. She wrapped her arms around your waist, pulling you close to her and just holding on for dear life.
“No one, will ever, touch you like that again, do you understand me?” She husked, her voice suddenly so strong and full of rage that it struck you.
“I-“ you stuttered, and her hands gripped you a bit harder.
“No one.” She repeated, and you just nodded, your face staining with red as she gripped onto you. Her hands slipped around you further, pulling you in protectively, and you bit back a sob.
You were the protector, you had been your entire life. The idea of someone, protecting, you, it made you feel smaller than you had ever felt. Yet it also stirred something else in you. A feeling suspiciously close to one you had banned yourself from. Saftey.
Her hands wrapped around you until one finger grazed the skin of your neck, making you jerk back as you felt her skin against yours. She immediately let you go, and you scrambled off of her, panting as you turned profusely red. That wasn’t what scared you though. What scared you was your reaction to her touch. Your reaction to her skin on yours, even at your very throat.
You liked it. You didn’t just like it, you needed it. Yet she had just seen what a second of you loosing control could do, and that was far from the worst of your damage. You panted as you touched where her finger had grazed you, it made you shiver, made your body ache to give in to her.
“I’m sorry, I didn’t-“ she began, but you just shook your head, trying to catch your breath as you stared a hole into the floor.
“Don’t you dare apologize for making me feel that way.” You rasped, and her eyes widened as she looked at your hair. It was a smattering of red and white flowers that bloomed across the top of your head this time, and a blush that stained your cheeks and neck so deeply she thought you may just be about to faint. She took a deep breath, sitting up and seeming to steel herself.
“Do you often have, visions, like that?” She asked you, and you took a deep breath in. You knew what she was asking, you’d be a fool not to, but you would refuse to admit it for as long as possible.
“In what way?” You asked her, despite knowing full well what she meant.
“I want to know how many times you have seen me in explicit situations.” She said firmly, and you cringed.
You were silent for a moment. The first time you had ever seen that was when you had a vision of her kissing your sister. It thankfully didn’t go any further than that when you were young, however it was clear that was what it was. As you grew, you would occasionally have visions of her. You knew you would meet her someday, but until Wednesday had needed you, you never took it upon yourself to come to her. You had seen her kissing you, you had seen you pleasuring her in ways that would make a sailor blush, but they didn’t start coming to you with any frequency until you arrived at Nevermore. Until you met her. After that, after that they plagued you with reckless abandon. Haunting you until your skin burned and your body ached for her.
“I don’t know.” You admitted. She stared at you for a moment, narrowing her eyes. “It’s not as if I try to have them, they just- oh god they just happen!” You tried to defend yourself, panicking. “And- and I’m sorry that they do, I know how much of an invasion it is but it’s just- mmph!” You we’re cut off when the taller woman leaned over and pulled you to her again, kissing you suddenly.
You froze for a moment before giving in, putting your arms up and just allowing the woman to lead you. You knew you were a force of nature, but she made everything feel as if it was whirling around you into oblivion. You loved it. You whimpered against her, knowing you should pull away but desperately needing more. You needed her.
“Do you like them?” She whispered against your lips, and you gasped for air, your mind spinning.
“I- I feel guilty that I see them without your permission.” You swallowed, and she kissed you again, her arms around your waist holding you up as her lips melded to yours again. She was careful, she didn’t go farther, she didn’t push you. She didn’t seek out any more skin then your lips. Your lips, however, were completely at her mercy. You felt your body shaking as she kissed you, desperate for what you couldn’t have.
“But do you like them?” She husked, and you just stared up at her dumbly. You couldn’t. Not now. It was too much. You could snap at any moment, you were always volitile after visions like that, you knew it, you knew you could hurt her, or worse, much, much worse.
“I- I can’t touch you, not now.” You whimpered, pulling away and panting as you rested your head on the covered part of her shoulder. You couldn’t do it. You couldn’t risk hurting her. She paused. You were literally shaking with restraint, she could feel it. Yet her own fear flooded her anyway.
“Do you not want-“ she whispered, and you raised your gloved hand, pulling back and turning her to look at you again.
“I want you more than I have ever wanted anyone, Larissa.” You confessed, and her eyes went wide, her jaw slackening into your hand. “But that does not change what I am,” you whispered, your face contorting in pain for a moment. You were scared, she realized. Scared of hurting her, of trusting yourself to trust her. She was about to reply when the door burst open.
You snapped back from her, nearly falling on your back as you looked at the door. Enid was carrying Wednesday. Enid was CARRYING Wednesday.
You were up and moving faster than should have been possible, you took the girl from Enid’s arms, gently laying her on your lap as you sat on the floor.
“I- I don’t know what happened! She was fine, and then she touched my hand and she just- she just!” Enid panicked, and you hushed her as you focused on your niece, your movements calm and practiced. You had done this before, Larissa realized.
“I need you to calm down Miss Sinclair, she will be fine.” You replied quickly. The girl was shaking in your arms, it almost looked as if she was seizing.
“This isn’t fine! How do you know-“ the girl cried, but you shut her up with a look.
“I know because it has happened to me.” You said darkly, and the girl froze, staring for a moment. Her mind seemed to catch up to her and she closed the door, sitting next to you on the floor. Larissa was still across from you, looking to you worriedly.
“Ophelia, is she-“ the woman began, but you just shook your head, beginning to rock the girl gently in your lap as you held her. She was groaning out and crying even trapped in the vision, tears streaming down her face as her jaw clenched. Then you did something neither blonde expected. You began to recite something.
“If I cling to you in times of darkness, I beg you to let me go. If I walk to you in tattered likeness, I will reap just what I sow. I have seen the ocean deep my dear, and it still compares not to this. For if you come too close my love, I will pull you to the abyss.” You hummed, and Larissa’s heart nearly stopped. She knew that poem, she had heard it before, yet she couldn’t place it. “Breathe Wednesday, it will end, I promise you it will end.” You whispered, and the girl continued shaking. You just hushed her, holding her close.
Her eyes snapped open and she screamed, surging forward in a desperate attempt to stop whatever she saw.
“No! Please! I didn’t mean it!” She screamed, and your arms wrapped around the girl, pulling her back and into you before she could rush forward to hurt herself or someone else. She panted, doubling over as the sobs began, her hands clawing into your arms for support.
“It’s me Wednesday, it was a vision, nothing else, it wasn’t real, it doesn’t mean it will come to pass.” You said softly. “What you see is not assured.” You hummed to her, and she sobbed, shaking her head as her nails dug in tighter. Larissa and Enid stared at the two of you in shock, whatever just happened, if it was enough to scare Wednesday, which was terrifying in and of itself.
“I- I’m going to be sick,” she panted, and you quickly helped her up, rushing her to the bathroom and closing the door before you turned on the sink.
Both Larissa and Enid stared in shock. Larissa had seen you do that before, the getting Ill after a vision, yet seeing it happen to Wednesday was heartbreaking in a different way. You had been dealing with this since you were a child, she realized. The difference was you didn’t have anyone to help you.
Nothing happened for a moment, then you emerged from the bathroom, holding the girl on your hips as she clung to you. Larissa knew you were strong, perhaps that was one of the manifestations of your ability, but seeing you move your niece with such ease still surprised her. You sat the girl down, sitting with her on the floor. She laid down further, staring at the ceiling.
“I killed her.” She whispered, and you removed a glove, taking the girl’s hand.
“It wasn’t real.” You told her, and still she stared blankly ahead.
“I killed her.” She repeated, and you sighed, running your hand over the girl’s face before returning to her hand again. You had taken your gloves off, Larissa realized. Your body knew well enough that Wednesday wouldn’t harm you. It accepted her. It seemed that Wednesday was the only one you could touch with ease. Not even Morticia could touch you freely, and she… she didn’t know where she stood.
“Who?” You asked, and the girl just shook her head. “Was it someone you love?” You sighed, and she blinked for a moment, tears building in her eyes. She nodded, and Larissa watched as you did everything you could to comfort the girl. She couldn’t help but see the parallel. You had years to understand and deal with your visions. Wednesday, on the other hand, had only begun.
“How often do you see them die?” She asked, and you took a deep breath, closing your eyes for a moment.
“It depends on the person and the connection.” You answered. “The deeper the connection, the more they occupy your mind, the more you will see.” You sighed tiredly, and Larissa felt her mouth go dry. You had admitted to having visions of her, often, and she knew you had used visions of her to calm yourself before, they were what Morticia gave you for comfort, after all, but to hear that, to hear that perhaps there was some sort of meaningful connection, beyond just stolen memories, it made her heart pick up despite the deep concern she was feeling.
“A friend.” Wednesday replied, and Enid stiffened. Wednesday flinched at the action and your suspicions were confirmed. The poor girl had watched herself kill her roommate.
“Enid, could you please get Wednesday’s cello for me?” You asked the girl calmly. She furrowed her brows, but nodded. “And then, if you could, there’s a smaller case in my room, it should be next to the wardrobe.” You said calmly, and the girl nodded again.
“It’s- its another instrument?” She asked, and you just hummed, your eyes never leaving your niece. You were silent until Enid left the room, going to fetch what you had asked her to. The request confused Larissa, but she imagined it was in part to get her out of the room. You squeezed Wednesday’s hand, beginning to answer her question as the girl stared blankly ahead, her face expressionless as always.
“Often enough, a few times a month, more if they are on my mind, more if I am in close proximity.” You answered, and Larissa’s heart broke for the both of you.
“Have you seen me die?” The girl asked, and you bit back a reaction. More times than either of you could count. You loved the girl, you practically treated her like your own, and as such, you would suffer for it. You would always suffer for it. Love had a price for you, a heavy one.
“Yes.” You whispered, and she closed her eyes for a moment.
“How did I die?” She asked you, and you took a deep breath in, trying to steady yourself. You wouldn’t lie to the girl, nor would you hide the truth. It wouldn’t help her. Larissa was left to just watch in shock as you tried to find the words. She didn’t know why she was here, it seemed she always was when it came to the two of you, as if she had been thrust into your lives with no consideration for the privacy of either of you. She went to turn, to get up and move away, yet she was shocked as your free hand seemed to move reflexively. It settled on her knee, keeping her there almost without thought before it left, going back to your niece. Her eyes widened at the action.
You wanted her there.
“The first time, was before you were born. I had a vision of your mother handing you to me. I crushed you with vines when your skin touched mine.” You answered, and she swallowed, her eyes staring blankly up once again. “I didn’t hold you for three months after you were born.” You said, and Enid came back into the room, carrying both instrument cases. You didn’t look away from your niece.
“What if you love them?” She asked, and your eyes closed slowly, a look of defeat crossing your face. Larissa looked to you torn. This, this is what love was for you. It was subjecting yourself to torture. It made sense now. You covered your hands to keep in your abilities, you covered your skin and kept to yourself to protect those around you. You pulled away to protect those you loved. She felt tears prick at her eyes at the realization.
“Often.” You whispered, and you watched as Wednesday tried to bite back a sob.
“Is it worth it?” She asked, and you just bit your lip, doing your very best not to look at the tall woman staring into your very soul, searching you for any sign of hope.
“It depends on the person.” You breathed, and the four of you settled into silence for a moment. Then Wednesday cried. Your eyes snapped to her, pulling her up off the floor and into your arms without a moment of hesitation.
“I can’t, I can’t do it, I don’t want it,” she whispered to you, and your heart broke as you nodded, holding her close and rocking her slightly. “I can’t do it, I can’t see them die, not everyone- not, not when they get me.” She breathed, her eyes going wide as she began to truly panic. “I saw myself kill her!” She cried, and you picked the girl up again as she seemed to hyperventilate. “I don’t- not her- I don’t want to kill her- auntie- auntie make it stop, please make it stop- I can’t- make it stop!” She cried, and you just sat her up in a chair, grabbing her cello and putting it between her legs. She grabbed it absentmindedly, and Larissa’s eyes went wide.
“Ophelia- you can’t, is now really the time-“ she hissed, and you just shook your head, placing the bow in her hand before opening the smaller case, your case, and pulling out a fiddle. She knew you were mad as a hatter, but this! You expected the girl to play music right now? Now!
You just looked at the girl, taking your own bow and sliding it over the strings in an almost tantalizing pattern. Larissa gaped at you, you had gone mad, this was it, you must have had a psychotic break watching the girl suffer through what you knew.
Yet Wednesday seemed to still as she heard the melody, her own hand gripping the bow slightly tighter.
“Don’t think, just play, you know the song.” You continued, kneeling in front of her and playing something strange, but almost enchanting, and slowly, to the shock of Larissa and Enid, Wednesday began to play. The smile you cracked when she did could have lit up the sky. “That’s it, there you go.” You hummed, taking a deep breath before you sang.
“Are you a fish inside a birdcage?” You sang gently, and both blondes watched in shock as Wednesday replied.
“My mother used to sing me songs.” She whispered, and you smirked, she was changing the lyrics, but you were more than happy to do so.
“And with her beak she tries to soothe me, she makes me feel that I belong.” You hummed, and Wednesday only went further into the music, making Larissa’s jaw drop as you kept up with her effortlessly.
“She has a wild imagination, and tells me things that must be true.” The girl sang, and you smiled back.
“Like there’s a world where you can take flight, where you can freely move.” You replied.
“So carry me, from these walls, mother of mine! Show me the world out side.” The two of you sang in unison, and you smiled as the girl seemed to breathe again, she could breathe when she focused on the music, the strings, the lyrics, any thing but what she had seen. “It has to be true, I’m counting on you, to be my wings and my eyes.” You sang together. You smiled as the girl began to play, really play. Her fingers danced over the strings with almost effortless grace and precision. It was mesmerizing, even to you, who had seen it.
“That’s it, just play.” You said softly, and she nodded. “Focus on the music, let everything else fade away, play until your fingers bleed if you have to, just play.” You said, and Larissa’s breath hitched. She could hear something in it. Something broken and begging, you were begging the girl to be alright, to keep going until she was.
“Is this what you do?” Wednesday breathed over the music, and you nodded.
“When I can, that or I focus on someone else, someone, calm.” You hesitated, and Wednesday locked eyes with you. You clenched your jaw for a moment, you knew what she was doing, what she was going to do.
“I don’t want to hurt you.” She rasped, and you just shook your head, your own fingers dancing over your own strings.
“Do it if you need to, I give you permission, hurt if you have to, just get out of your head.” You grimaced, and Larissa and Enid stared at you in shock as the girl began to glare, playing faster, playing harder. You kept up with little more than a breath. “Be cruel, Wednesday, you can be cruel to me if it takes away the pain.” You said, bracing yourself.
“As you breathe into your silence,” she sang, looking to you desprately. She wanted something. She wanted to know that there was hope, that there was something beyond this pain. You would bear your heart to show the girl that there was more to life than pain.
“There’s a voice that comforts me.” You replied. You both were changing the lyrics, speaking through them to eachother.
“She will never understand you.” The girl sang, and it didn’t take much to realize she was speaking about Larissa. Just like it didn’t take much for her to realize it was Larissa’s voice that you had clung to throughout the years. Larissa realized this to, if the hitch of breath that she gave was any indication.
“Yet she offers empathy.” You countered, and the girl played faster, her eyes narrowing. You hummed, rising to your knees outright to keep up, instead of sitting back on your heels.
“Wings of feathers, tails and fin tips.” Wednesday almost sang to words painfully. It wasn’t about you and Larissa. It was, in the sense that seeing you two interact gave her hope, yet as her eyes flitted from yours, to Larissa’s to Enid’s, it became abundantly clear that the girl was terrified of being too different from her beast friend. That the visions she had would keep her from ever being able to truly be close with her. “You know they work so differently.” She shook her head, and you just smiled as gently as you could, despite the pain inside you.
“She gave me more than I could ask for,” you sang. It meant something. It meant that despite everything. There were still things you could have. Still love, in some form, you could have. “Indistinguishability.” You finished, and the girl took a deep breath in. You weren’t the same, you would never be the same as the others you surrounded yourself with. But you had learned, through the years, that pain is pain, and you had all been through it.
“So carry me, through these walls, mother of mine! Show me the world outside,” you sang together, and the girl nodded, her eyes tearing up.
“It has to be true,” she whispered. “I’m counting on you.” Her voice sounded strained, like she really was begging. You had made her start singing to regulate her breathing as playing regulated her mind, but as she calmed she was loosing her energy, and with that came the grief afterwards.
“To be my wings and my eyes.” You finished for her, and the two of you continued to play, your music dancing together, creating a world of your own that you could focus on.
Larissa and Enid watched in amazement as the song eventually came to a crescendo, then an end, leaving the both of you panting and sitting in silence.
“I hate you.” Wednesday breathed, and you shut your eyes. Larissa’s breath hitched, she knew what the girl meant to you, that she was perhaps the only one who could hurt you with such a statement. “I hate you for giving this to me, for telling me that it would be ok!” She yelled, and you cringed. “How dare you!” She yelled, laying her instrument to the side and standing up. Your arms fell too, until your fiddle and bow were in your hands, limp towards the floor and by your sides. “How dare you give me hope?” She cried, sinking to her knees and collapsing into you, clutching onto you as she sobbed. You breathed in slowly, letting your own instrument fall and wrapping your arms around her as you sat back on the floor.
“Hope is all we have, Wednesday. Hope is all we have.” You sighed, holding the girl and rubbing her back gently. Larissa and Enid watched in stunned silence as you held the girl in your arms, lifting her until you could encompass her fully as you turned to face them. “Music, it helps. It can be something to focus on.” You explained, and both of them nodded. “Anything to focus on, really, there- there is a reason I used to spend days on end working.” You sighed, holding the girl.
“I can see where Wednesday gets her talent from.” Larissa breathed, and you just shook your head, holding the girl close.
“We all need something.” You sighed, looking down at her as she stilled, just laying in your arms. “Let’s go, honey, you can stay with me.” You breathed, and she girl stood numbly with your help, you propping her up as the mental exhaustion took its toll. “Enid, I think she’ll stay in my room tonight, thank you for bringing her.” You breathed, and she nodded. “I- I’ll see you tomorrow, Larissa.” You said softly, your eyes glancing to the woman’s lips one last time before you left the room, leaving shock in your wake.
Notes:
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Chapter 13: Take A Beating
Summary:
You find Larissa just in time, and give her comfort in one of her lowest moments. Yet when she finds you bare and vulnerable, it is her own pain that cuts into you like never before.
WARNING: VIOLENCE/BLOOD/IMPLIED PAST ASSAULT/IMPLIED PAST CHILD ABUSE/SMUT
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
You knew it was a vision, the feeling far too real and foreboding to be a regular dream.
You heard a scream, a flash of white hair, and saw a man standing above her. You didn’t recognize him, but you recognized the place. That was by the school, out front actually. You heard the clock tower ring, it was three, but the black sky told you it was morning, far too late or early for anyone to be up. The man went for her again, picking up a bat and swinging. You jolted out of it as you heard the sickening crunch.
You panted as you woke, trying to catch your breath. They were unreliable, you had to remind yourself. They were just visions of potential futures, not ones that would certainly would happen. You had just consoled Wednesday with the same issue, you couldn’t let yourself give in to the panic and fear that came after seeing something like that. If you let that happen after every time, it would consume you.
Wednesday. You looked to the girl laying in your bed next to you, sighing as you stroked your hand through her hair. Wednesday slept through you waking, thankfully, and you sighed quietly as you looked at the clock, already exhausted before the day even started.
2:58.
Your eyes went wide, you sprang up. You couldn’t do it. You knew you should ignore it, try to go back to sleep, but something in you demanded you move. If she was outside then she would be outside and if she wasn’t then it wasn’t real, that’s all you had to remember. You rushed silently out of your room, hurrying down the halls to the front entrance of the school, you were still in nothing but your sweater and slip, no shoes, just rushing to the front, woefully unprepared. You repeated the same mantra to yourself, the very same one you had given to Wednesday.
“What you see is not assured.” You whispered again and again, trying to calm yourself. This was ridiculous, you were being ridiculous, you knew it likely wouldn’t happen.
Then you heard the scream.
You were through the doors on pure instinct, watching the man swing a bat at her. She was on the steps on her back, climbing backwards up the steps as he prepared to swing again.
You recognized him. He was one of the men from the liquor store, the night you had first met her. He prepared to swing again and your eyes went red.
Vines sprouted from the earth, wrapping around him, pulling him back and tethering him in place. He screamed out in panic.
“What the fuck!” He yelled, and you nearly growled, walking towards him. Your vines had dragged him to the ground, wrapped around his legs and bringing him to his knees before another pair hand circled around his wrists and up his arms, one still around his throat, holding him there by his very breath.
“Watch your mouth, you’re on school grounds.” You bit, your voice cold and piercing. His eyes snapped to you, as did Larissa, her breath stolen when she saw you. You were deadly. Sharp as a knife, despite how worn down she knew you were. After everything that had happened, not to mention Wednesday, you should be resting, not using your ability, yet the second she saw vines sprout from the earth, relief flooded her instantly. It was over. You had come, and it was over.
“You.” The man spat, and you tilted your head. When you spoke, the slightly mad edge to your voice had become its dominant feature, insanity seeming to drip from your lips as you stared at the man with the most dangerous eyes Larissa had ever seen.
“I don’t think you want a rematch.” You glared wickedly. “Calm down, agree to leave, and I’ll let you go.” You said calmly. He glared at you, his hand gripping against the bat, trying to break from the vines. He was no match.
“Hiding behind your freak powers again, bitch?” He spat, “Fucking coward!” He yelled, and you raised your brows.
Larissa watched in shock. She couldn’t move, couldn’t speak, couldn’t think as she watched in fear.
“Oh, I don’t think it’s cowardice to use what I have at my disposal when you come onto school grounds, attacking the headmistress of a institute for children.” You replied. He laughed.
“Hey, maybe I just wanted to see if the big bitch would put up a fight on her own.” He mocked, and your eyes widened. You walked down the steps, slowly. Dangerously slowly, Larissa had seen this calm on you before, when you were protecting your niece, but seeing it now, for her, it was wholly different.
“Excuse me?” You spat, and the man sneered. You were giving him one chance to walk out of this without any serious damage. One chance to make the smart decision.
“I wanted to teach her a lesson, see how much of a woman the freak really is, I wonder if she can take-HOLY FUCK!“ he hollered out as you hit him, hard. He went down as you released the vines, letting him slump to the ground. You picked up the bat, staring down at him.
“Apologize.” You sneered at him, and he looked up at you, blood streaming from his nose. Larissa looked at you in shock. You hit him. You not only hit him but you broke his nose.
“Fuck you!” He cried, getting up and swinging at you. You caught his blow, directing it past you before you knee’d him in the stomach, dropping him to the ground once again as he gasped for air.
“Apologize.” You commanded again. He gasped for air, struggling to get up.
“What, you mad because you wanted to get the big monster to yourself?” He spat, and that was the final straw. Something in you visibly snapped. Larissa gaped as you tossed the bat behind you, grabbing him by the collar and hauling him up to his knees. You sneered in his face, your hands digging into his throat as he struggled. You were terrifying.
“Monster?” You laughed. “Monster!” You seemed to be loosing it, your mind unable to even fathom the idea of her being addressed as such. “Oh you poor, poor man, you utter fool!” You cackled, your not quite American accent getting thicker as you stopped moderating your speech.
“The fuck are you laughing about?” He sneered from the ground, launching himself up at you only to be caught once again by vines and restrained with only the tilt of your head. “Get this the fuck off of me you crazy bitch! She’s dangerous! You’re all dangerous!” He hollered, and you just hummed, staring him down with murder in your eyes. He cowered back when you leaned in, much to your delight.
“She doesn’t even qualify as a class four, not that you would know that. No students here are above a class three, and you think- oh, you think they’re dangerous!” You laughed.
“The fuck are you talking about?” He yelled, and you just sighed.
“Dangerous, hmm? How many children, normie children, do you think have died this year because of outcasts? Hmm? How many do you think went down just because they were what they were?” You asked him, and he glared at you.
“You’re fucking crazy!” He spat, and you nodded, just smiling as you squeezed the vines a little tighter, making him shut up. You could kill him, if you wanted to. It became very clear to both him and Larissa as she watched.
“Ophelia…” she breathed, but you didn’t hear her over the rage in your own mind.
“Odd, I can’t think of any. I can, however, tell you how many outcast children were killed this year simply because they were outcasts.” You said darkly, all north and light dropping from your voice. You were serious, deadly serious. “Sixteen.” You said, and he scoffed.
“Like you can call that a fuckin statistic.” He spat, and you just stared.
“Sixteen hundred.” You corrected, and he stilled. “Of course, that’s just the United States. And only the ones we know of.” You added. “That doesn’t account for all those injured, trafficked, assaulted, those that died of unknown causes, worse…” You trailed. “The only dangerous thing at this school is the man who came here with a weapon.” You gritted, pointing to the bat. “To attack children.” You spat, and he looked at you with pure hatred.
“Fuck you.“ he slurred, and you sighed, nodding your head. This man was drunk, very drunk. It wouldn’t be fair to kill him. You wouldn’t, even if he wasn’t drunk, for Larissa’s sake, but still. It was with giving him one more choice before someone had to take him home.”
“I will give you, one, more chance, to leave this without causing issues.” You growled, and he spat in your face, blood splattering all over you from his bleeding nose.
“Fine.” You muttered, throwing him to the ground. He stumbled back, trying to catch himself and stand. You watched as he staggered to his feet. “For her sake, I’ll do this the old fashioned way.” You hummed, your fingers flexing and curling into fists. “You should thank her, if she wasn’t here I would have killed you already.” You said wickedly, and Larissa shuddered as you brought up your fists, your body settling into a practiced stance. She knew you had fought before, that you had killed before, but had you done it on purpose? Could you?
“Give it your best shot.” You challenged, and the man smiled wickedly, charging towards you with pure hatred in his eyes. He swung again, and again you evaded it with minimal effort. You swung back this time, making the man grunt as you hit him again, square in the nose. He screamed as Larissa heard the sickening crunch. He stumbled back before throwing himself at you again, this time you turned, leaning back before swinging your leg in a kick to the side of his head, dropping him to the ground.
“Fuck!” He wheezed, and you just huffed, walking to him again. He crawled up to his knees, and you knee’d him in the face, dropping him fully to the ground. He fell to his side, sucking in air desperately, painfully. You walked to him, kicking him in the stomach, making him groan as he rolled a few feet back.
“I’m gonna kill you!” He groaned, and you scoffed.
“Good luck with that.” You smiled, kicking him once more in the head, knocking him out. You sighed, panting a little.
There was a moment where Larissa just stared at you, worried the madness wouldn’t fade, that you would turn around and look at her with the same cold insanity you had looked at the man. Yet, the second he was out, it seemed to melt from your body, your hands softening as your eyes returned to their caring gaze. You turned, immediately heading back to the woman still laying in shock on the steps. You immediately, went to her, kneeling next to her, taking her face in your bare hands and looking at her with concern.
“Hey, hey are you ok?” You asked her, your eyes flitting over her, looking for any sign of injury.
“Y- I, yes.” She swallowed, looking up to you in shock. She had seen how you could move, you practicing with your niece, but you just beat the shit out of a man at least half a foot taller than you without blinking.
“Did he touch you?” You asked her, fear invading your voice for the first time. She just shook her head, swallowing as she looked to the limp body of the man behind you. You turned your face back towards you, your warm hands soothing her despite what they had just done. “He’s alive, we can call the police, I’ll- I’ll handle it.” You swallowed. “Let’s get you inside.” You breathed, helping her up and to her office.
She shuddered as you put your arm around her waist, helping her up and leading her with gentle, yet steady arms. You were there, she reminded herself. Your were there, and this was her you, not the you that had beaten that man, this was the you that looked at her with caring eyes, that soothed her with gentle touches and assured her with calming words.
You sat her down on the couch in her office, lighting the fire before running to your room and grabbing your phone.
When you returned you took off your sweater, leaving you in a night slip again as you pulled it over her own night dress. You were so gentle, so soft and caring with her. It was as if the woman outside had disappeared, and you were there again, her version of you. The Ophelia with warm hands, and tired, caring eyes, always looking to her. Always to her.
“Can you put your arms up for me?” You asked softly, and she nodded, allowing you to ease her into it. You didn’t know what had her in shock, weather it was something the man had done before you got there or if it was watching you fight. You shuddered to think it was the second. She stared into the fire as you grabbed a blanket, laying it over her legs as you fluttered around, making her a cup of tea and placing it into her hands gently.
You wanted to touch her, to hold her, but at this point you wouldn’t dare try. It was odd, wanting to touch someone. Wanting to touch someone in this way. You wanted to care for her, make sure she was alright. But if you were correct, then touch was the last thing she would want right now. So instead you just let her sit, standing next to her protectively, your body at her side should she want you there.
She leaned closer to you, her shoulder nearly resting on you, and you froze. You wouldn’t move, wouldn’t dare push her. This was her choice to make, if she wanted it.
She kept her eyes staring straight ahead, nerves still playing on her fire-lit features as her hand moved slowly to settle shakily on the small of your back, almost asking for permission.
“Go ahead,” you whispered. “I’ve got you, take what you need, I’ve got you.” You said softly, and she fought back shaky tears as she pulled you into her, hanging on your body as she tried to pull herself together. “I’ve got you.” You repeated, holding her gently until the tears stopped and her breathing became regular again.
You called 911, being patched through to the sherif of the town. When he arrived to pick up the man you explained everything, telling him that you had come out when you had heard her scream, the man seemed to be drunk, and you had defended her and yourself to the best of your abilities using non-lethal force.
“You been ‘round here long?” The man asked you, and you shook your head, watching as his partner loaded the man into the back of the cruiser.
“No, I, I’m a substitute teacher. My sister went here though.” You said, and he nodded, looking you over. He was examining you, you knew what it felt like. You were familiar with it, intimately, and grotesquely familiar with it. His eyes narrowed at your gloved hands, looking to the leather, the way all of your body was covered by clothing. You cleared your throat and he averted his eyes. At least he wasn’t a pig.
“I have to talk to the headmistress.” He said, nodding towards the school, and you nodded.
“Yes, I know. I’ll take you to her office.” You replied, and he nodded, following you into the building. You led him to her office, allowing him in before standing by the door.
You had changed into a pair of pants, another sweater, and your gloves and shoes before the man arrived, as well as giving Larissa something to change into. She stood in one of her normal sets, yet your eyes widened a touch as you realized she still held your sweater in her hands, almost clutching it for comfort. Her hands were shaking with how tight she was gripping it.
Maybe she wasn’t horrified by you, perhaps there was a chance.
“Sherif Galpin, a pleasure.” She said, quickly shifting back into her ‘Headmistress’ persona. “I assume Miss Florere walked you through what happened.” She said, and the man nodded. You stood attentively at the door, folding your hands behind your back, your chin squared and you head held high atop your straight back. You didn’t look at them, just stared at the wall opposite you, ready for whatever you were asked for. You’d kill the man now, if she asked.
“Yes, she did, I still need your statement, however, Miss Weems.” Sherif Galpin said. “The guy has had a few incidents with your kind before, I have a feeling this is similar.” He said. You clenched your jaw slightly at the term of otherness he directed at her, but stayed silent, standing by the door.
“Yes, I’m aware.” She said, and he hummed, nodding as he took out a pad and paper. “I had went out to get some fresh air, and I saw him come stumbling up the drive. He approached me, said a plethora of things I won’t bother to repeat and attacked me.” She said, swallowing, and you felt your hands clench in your gloves. You moved them behind your back, doing your best to remain calm. It wouldn’t do to show your anger now. You were already in a tough situation, you had beat the shit out of a man, even if he started it. Hopefully, he wouldn’t remember all you had said in your hot-headed rage.
“Can you elaborate?” The sherif sighed, and Larissa looked to you a moment. You stared straight ahead, your eyes boring into the wall across from you. Your hands were behind your back, your posture straight, your chin held high. This was the look of a woman who had been through this before, she realized. Many times, in all likelihood. She knew you had been through much in your life, she had even seen glimpses of it, but this. You had been accused before, she realized, you were on guard. And you were guarding her. The thought struck her, landing in your chest and nearly stealing her breath.
“Miss Weems?” The sherif repeated, and she looked back to him. Control, she had to keep it together.
“Yes, sorry. He came at me with a bat, and he, groped me, er, then shoved me to the ground. He was trying to pull my clothes off, something about ‘exposing the freak I am’ I pushed him off and he picked up the bat. He was about to swing when Ophelia came out.” She explained, doing her best to retain control. It was hard. She felt disgusting, felt like she had lost control, credibility. Like it had been taken from her.
You, on the other hand, were livid. Larissa’s eyes snapped to you when you visibly twitched, you had to clutch your hands together behind your back, pressing the palms together even through your gloves. You were angry, almost violently angry, it seemed. And it was for her. The man nodded, sighing tiredly as he listened to her, not looking at the woman, or thankfully, at you.
“Is that enough, Sherif?” You asked gruffly. The man looked to you, surprised you interrupted, but nodded.
“Yeah, yeah that would do it. I’ll take him to the drunk tank and see what he says when he wakes up.” The man said, and you nodded, still not deigning to look anywhere but the spot on the wall you were fixed on.“I have another question for you, though.” He said, and you finally looked at him, raising your brows. “Are you military? You stand like it, and with how badly that guy was beaten-“
“That ‘guy’ threatened a school full of unarmed children starting with an again unarmed woman who tirelessly works to mend the relationships between the school she oversees and the town it resides in.” You nearly spat.
“As unarmed as any of you ever are.” The man muttered under his breath, and Larissa’s eyes snapped to him as you clenched your jaw.
“Sherif, I’m sure you’re not implying what I think you are.” She said carefully, and you tried your best not to react. You couldn’t look at her. You had failed her, you hadn’t been there in time, you had let her be hurt. That man- if you could even call him that, thought he had the right to touch her, to beat her! And you weren’t even there… Shame flooded you, burning you from the inside out as your eyes remained anywhere but on her.
“No, ma’am.” The man murmured, mildly annoyed by her authority, but knowing when he had been beaten. Silence reigned for a moment before he remembered his question.
“If not military, then what?” He asked, trying to figure you out. Larissa continued to stare holes into the carpet. She wasn’t even fully aware of what was going on, she was on autopilot, brought to catch the sherif’s earlier mistake, but not enough to stop him now. She just knew you were there. As long as you were there, you wouldn’t let anything more happen, she knew that.
“I grew up where people like that man deem outcasts less than human before they sell them like cattle or disect them like some sick experiment.” You hissed, and he backed up, blanching. “Or the third option.” You said, and you could practically feel his heart beating in terror. He was scared. Good. Let him be scared of what people would do to your kind, unchecked. “They hunt us down, for sport.” You said darkly, your voice still terrifyingly calm. He looked almost sick. Silence fell for a moment, he just stared. It seemed like it hit him just then. He didn’t like outcasts, but murder? Human trafficking? He knew what was wrong. He knew what was too far.
“I- that wasn’t gonna happen here.” He defended, and you stared at him for a moment more, the intensity of your eyes making the man visibly shrink back. “My son…” he murmured, and you hummed.
“Hyde’s are hard. But not a death sentence. Not unless people like the pathetic excuse for a man outside are put in charge.” You sighed, relenting slightly. He nodded, staring at you for a moment.
“I was in witness protection in the UK back when I was nineteen. I learned a thing or two from my officer.” You said, and he raised his brows.
“Anything that I should know about?” He asked, and you shook your head.
“I helped shut down an institute that killed kids like your son. They didn’t like the idea of one of their former wards exposing them.” You said, and he nodded.
“Got it.” He said, staring at you for a moment more. He was trying to determine if you were a threat or not. You certainly were, but not to him.
“Do they actually, is there really a sport of-“ he asked tentatively, and you cut him off without thinking.
“Three hundred thousand for your son.” You said in an almost detached manner. He looked like he might be sick. “To hunt.” You added. “He’d sell more for parts. But only if transformed.” You finished, taking a deep breath to steady yourself.
“How the fuck do you know that?” He asked, his face pale. You blinked at him slowly, shaking your head in an almost grimace.
“Because that institute had a few.” Your words shocked him. Clearly. He looked down for a moment, covering his eyes as he breathed.
“I- I’ll take care of it.” He said, and you hummed, turning your face back to the wall.
“I would recommend that. Unless you want to see your son on the other end of that man’s bat.” You finished, once again returning to a guard like position.
Larissa just stood, she couldn’t even fully process what you were saying. Her body was still shaking, hidden beneath her clothes, her heart still pounding as her mind whirled. The man hadn’t gotten far, but he had gotten far enough. If you hadn’t been there…
You watched as the man said goodbye to Larissa, nodding to you before he left. It was silent for a moment, the both of you standing in her office. You checked the clock, it was only 4:30. You didn’t look at her, you kept your guard up, looking ahead.
“Tell me what you need.” You said softly, and she nearly choked. She walked to you slowly, your face still looking firmly ahead until she stood next to you. “I’m sorry.” You breathed, still unable to look at her. She exhaled shakily, and you looked down, your head still straight forward as your eyes looked down in shame. You bit back the tears.
You failed.
“I- I should have been there, I had a vision, but I thought, I thought it- I didn’t want to bother you if it wasn’t real, and they often aren’t, so I didn’t- I just wandered- I should have ran, I’m sorry.” You whispered, and she gasped. That’s why you had gotten there in time. You had seen it. She didn’t speak, she just took your hand, making you inhale sharply in surprise. She took you to the couch, sitting down and bringing you to stand in front of her again. You swallowed, still not meeting her eyes. You had been through this before, with children you didn’t get there on time for. Countless faces flooded your mind, some beaten, some worse, some already dead by the time you got there. Yet nothing, nothing had ever made you feel like this.
“Look at me.” She whispered, and you just looked up, trying to blink back the tears that threatened to come. You didn’t get there in time, you couldn’t protect her. You failed. “I need you to look at me.” She whispered, and you swallowed, your eyes immediately meeting hers. You would do it, for her. You would put aside anything you had to for her. Her breath hitched when you looked at her, your grey eyes swirling with a storm of emotion. You took a deep breath in.
Everything faded away, all of your own guilt and pain melted from you as you looked into the eyes of the woman next to you.
“I will give you anything, anything you need right now.” You breathed “Just ask.” You said, and you could see her eyes filled with tears. Now wasn’t the time for your guilt, now you needed to be there, for her.
“Stay,” she whispered, and you nodded, all your attention instantly being directed towards her. “Would you like me to sit, or to stand, do you need space?” You asked her gently, and the woman swallowed.
“I need, I- I need, I feel revolting, I feel vile, like I- I don’t know.” She hissed, tears threatening to spill from her eyes. You nodded. The entire time the sherif was there she was detached, perfectly calm, but even she couldn’t hide this forever.
“Alright, let’s get you a shower, come with me.” You breathed, offering your hand. She stared at it for a moment. You were still wearing your gloves. You had put them on when the sherif had come, and they were still on your hands. Her faced soured, staring at your hands. You were holding back, hiding part of yourself from her. Guarding her from you.
“Take them off.” She husked, and you raised your brows.
“Larissa,” you breathed, and she swallowed, shaking her head.
“Come on, let’s get you cleaned up.” You sighed, and she nodded, standing up with you and allowing you to lead her back to her own rooms.
The sun wasn’t even beginning to rise yet, you were the only two wandering the school. It was quiet, you remained silent as long as you could, sitting her on her bed and going to her bathroom. You turned the shower on, running it until the water steamed up the room before you returned back to her bedroom and climbed up onto the bed behind her. She had shifted back to her natural state, out of the pristine look she had shown to the sherif, and your breath stuttered when you saw her so, undone. She slept in a braid, it seemed, and you undid it slowly, gently, your fingers brushing through her hair to comb out any tangles.
“You don’t have to do this,” she whispered eventually, and you nodded, continuing to brush your hand through her long white hair. It was soft and thick, reaching a bit past her shoulders. It was beautiful.
“I know.” You hummed, and she swallowed, nodding as you stood up from the bed. She felt numb, as if all the feeling had been drained from her. Yet your hands, your hands eased the ache of the void. “I’m going to go sit in your parlor. I’ll make some more tea and I’ll be there when you’re done with your shower.” You promised, and her breath hitched. She didn’t want you to leave, she wanted you with her. She wanted you close, holding her, she wanted to feel your hands all over her, blocking out the idea of the man who had tried to do the same.
“Could, could you stay, actually?” She asked you, and your brows raised. You inhaled deeply, you would, of course. You would do anything she asked.
“Where would you like me to stay?” You asked her, and she blushed, looking down.
“I just- I would appreciate it if you stayed in the same room as me.” She managed, her heart racing. She was vulnerable, hurting. She was shaken, she realized. She had spent her entire life always in control, always pristine and perfect, but now she was shaken. The man didn’t get very far, but he got far enough. You took her hand, drawing her eyes back to you.
“If you’d like.” You said calmly, and she nodded. You went with her into the bathroom, sitting on the floor and looking down at the tile there. She furrowed her brows as you averted your eyes. Most people gawked at her, even your sister had always taken every chance to examine her body for flaws, but you, you bent your head, making sure she was in control of what all you saw, you were in her space, yet you made her feel… safe.
“You won’t look?” She asked you, and you shook your head, your eyes firmly fixed on the old tile.
“No.” You said, and she swallowed. She almost wanted you to. But not like this. She didn’t want you to see this, to see the vulnerability, the softness. She wanted you to look at her and be awestruck, not look at her with pity.
She slowly took off her shirt and skirt, dropping them to the floor. Still, your eyes remained fixed on the ground. Even now, with her stripping in front of you, you made it clear she was in control. You wouldn’t look, not unless she told you to.
She watched you as she dropped her bra, revealing the pale skin. She could tell you blushed when the garment hit the ground, but not once did your eyes leave the spot they were fixed upon.
She slipped off her underwear, biting back the shame that came with standing fully naked. Your sister had always pointed out her imperfections. Countless others had too. They called her giant, freak, anything they could think of. Yet you remained silent, ever respectful as your eyes never flickered. Your heart pounded in your chest at the intimacy of it, at the vulnerability, your cheeks flushed with the knowledge that the woman was so close to you, yet you never looked up.
She stepped into the shower, pulling the curtain closed and sighing at the water running down her skin. It melted away the feeling, the filth she felt. It all melted away as she sighed, leaning back and letting the water run over her. It was quiet still, you were silent as she began to wash her body, scrubbing her skin clean.
She swallowed at the feeling, scrubbing harder. It wasn’t enough. She huffed as she scrubbed harder still, trying to clean away the man’s hand, her hands shaking as a burning sensation started to form as she scrubbed her skin raw. She didn’t realize she was crying until she heard your voice from the other side of the curtain.
“Gentle.” You said softly. “Take a deep breath, nice and slow.” You instructed, and she nodded, not that you could see her. “Just breathe with me, Larissa.” You said softly, and she took deep inhales with your exaggerated breaths. You continued until the crying subsided, silence once again filling the bathroom, other than the sound of the water.
“How do you know what to do?” She asked you finally, and you swallowed.
“Another time. I’ll tell you another time.” You replied. That, she didn’t need to know. She did not need to know the price you had paid to survive the institution you were sent to. Nor did she need to know about the punishments that occurred after dark there. She didn’t need to know just how far the instructors were willing to go to make you the ‘perfect wife.’ Even with all your training, nothing would ever teach you as much as you had learned living it.
“It wasn’t just the once, was it?” She asked you, and you sighed, shutting your eyes for a moment. You brought your hands up to your face, swallowing as you braced your elbows on your knees, finding the words. She had seen some of what that place did to you, thankfully you had pulled out of the vision before it went any farther, but she had seen it. “Tell me.” She whispered, and you sighed.
“Larissa,” you hesitated, and she swallowed.
“I want to know why they do that, why they think they can do that?” She asked you, and you shook your head.
“I wish I could tell you, but even I don’t know that answer.” You sighed, and she remained silent again.
“Then tell me something else. Tell me something good.” She asked, and you nodded, trying to find something. Silence settled again as she began to rinse the aggressive scrubbing from her body, beginning to wash her hair as you found something to speak about.
“When I was, twenty-four, I visited the Amazon.” You began, and her pain faded as she listened to you speak. “I had already earned my second PhD, the lab needed something for some children we were working with at the time, and that was the first time I had been out in the field, at least on an expedition.” You smiled, “We had been hiking for two weeks, trying to get as deep into the jungle as possible, looking for a rare species of passionflower said to aid in visions by the locals.” You hummed. “We had a guide, an incredible woman, from the Kayapo tribe, who led us to the spot where they were known to grow. We had made a deal with her, we would take two plants, not touching the rest, and leave peacefully.” You explained. “We were exhausted, and the sun was setting as we finally neared the place. The rest of the team wanted to stop, but I was, well, me.” You sighed, and you could have sworn you almost heard the woman chuckle.
“But we made camp, a few kilometers away from the site. But in the middle of the night, our guide shakes me awake, and all of a sudden I’m following her through the jungle, lit only by the moon and her knowledge of the area. I thought we were going to get lost, thought we were dying and everything, but as we near the edge of what looks like a cliff, suddenly I can see it.” You smiled. “We came up to the edge of the cliff and I can see this giant basin of thousands of these flowers.” You breathed. “You can’t find them anywhere else in the world, they’re incredibly rare, but here they are, thousands, blooming in the moonlight.” You breathed. “Silent except for the sound of the jungle, the moon hitting them through the canopy, the air cool in the night, still humid, but almost, pleasant.” You smiled. “My god it was magic.” You breathed, and you heard her turn the water off.
You looked down at the floor again, making sure to keep your eyes averted. She pulled a towel in with her, drying off quickly before wrapping it around her body. She stepped out, her eyes landing on you sitting on her bathroom floor, there as she asked, still not looking. She stared at you for a moment. It was so simple, so meaningless, yet it meant the world to her. You were there, without her asking, you simply told her that you would be, and had rushed into helping her almost instantly.
“Show me.” She said, and you nearly looked up at the question before remembering the woman was wearing nothing but a towel. You blushed, ducking your face back down, sighing deeply at your behavior as your heart rate picked up once again.
She went to her room and pulled out a new pair of pajamas, it was Saturday, she technically had the day off, as did you. You let her go, staying on the floor of her bathroom as she went to her bedroom. You thought for a moment as you found the right way to approach it, you knew what you had wanted, and you knew what countless of the children you helped wanted and needed, but she was not them. She wasn’t just another person, she was Larissa. She was the woman you would give everything for, you would strip away the pain and the judgement from her own soul if you could. If your hands could do so without the risk of hurting her.
Eventually she came back into the bathroom, waiting until you looked up. She was in full coverage silk pajamas this time, not another nightdress. You smiled sadly at the gesture, you didn’t know if it was for her or for you, but either way it made a small bit of warmth pull your from where your mind went.
She nodded her head towards her room, and you stood, following her until she laid on her bed, leaving you standing at the foot of it. You hesitated, and she just stared at the ceiling, not looking at you. She didn’t really know why you were there. She knew you had said you would be, and you were a woman of your word, but still. There was no reason for you to stay, to help her. Hell, there were reasons not to. You had been through enough, how dare she put you through her own suffering as well.
“You can go.” She said, and you nodded.
“I know.” You replied, and she swallowed.
“Why don’t you?” She asked you, and you hummed.
“Because you asked me to stay.” You replied, and she just shook her head.
“But do you want to?” She asked, and you were quiet for a moment. Her eyes shut in regret. She shouldn’t have asked. You were here out of guilt, regret, nothing more. That was it.
“Yes.” You finally answered, and she shook her head, she couldn’t believe it, she refused to believe it. Morticia had done the same, stayed and told her she wanted her until she got what she wanted, then she left. She wanted to curl up in her bed and lay there forever, wasting away in her sheets just like she had wanted when your sister had rejected her feelings time after time all those years before. “You don’t believe me.” You stated. You didn’t even bother phrasing it as a question.
“Why would I?” She answered simply, and you nodded. of course she didn’t. She wouldn’t, not until you showed her.
“Fine, I’ll be back then.” You said, sighing as you left the room. You went back to your own, writing a note for your niece and leaving it on your pillow, next to her, telling her you had to go handle something. You picked up your own pajamas, ones that actually covered your skin this time, and you said nothing as you walked back into Larissa’s rooms, shutting the door behind you before walking back into her bedroom. She looked up at you, suspicion clear on her face.
“Why wouldn’t I want to be here?” You asked her, and she shook her head, fighting to keep control of her emotions.
“Don’t mock me.” She said, and you raised your brows.
“I’m not.” You replied, and she nearly scoffed.
“You’re here because you feel guilty, you feel a sense of obligation, that is all.” The woman told you, and you grimaced. “You don’t want to see this, you don’t want to see weakness, ugliness like this.” She spat. “You’re- after everything you’ve been through, you don’t show it, you’re strong, you don’t- you don’t cry- you just- you don’t show weakness like this- how could you ever even stand to be around it?” She breathed, on the verge of tears. “You’re untouchable, and I- I am wretched.” She whispered.
They weren’t her own words, you knew enough to know that. These were words that had been said to her so many times they were burned into her very heart. The realization broke yours. You looked at her for a moment, at her laying on her back, staring up at the ceiling blankly. Then you did something she would never forget.
“Look at me.” You said, and she set her jaw as she sat up on her elbows, glaring at you as if your very presence was a lie.
You stood in front of her, untucking the sweater you wore from your pants. Her jaw dropped as you pulled it off, revealing the tank top underneath. You unbuttoned and slipped off your pants too, leaving you standing in your underwear and the tank top, before that came off as well. She sat up, swallowing as you pulled off the tank, leaving you in your bra and underwear standing in front of her.
Her eyes travelled over the skin you exposed to her. She had seen it, when she changed you from your clothes into the sweater she had put you in when you were unconscious. Yet now you were showing her. It was a choice that you made, you let her eyes wander, the scars up and down your arms, the black lace bra you wore. She blushed, of course you wore black. She could see the strength in your body, you were less soft than your sister, your curves were still certainly there, but this was a body that had been molded by years of abuse and being forced to strengthen itself.
You had curves, and she swallowed as she looked from the softness of your chest to the outline of your stomach in the early morning hours, only lit up by the moon and the flickering of the fire. She wanted to touch. You were forbidden, off limits, she could tell you were trying to be tough right now, there were slight giveaways, your hands folded behind your back and she stared up from where her eyes had been fixed on your muscular thighs.
You were a fighter, someone who had been working in the dirt for years, someone who had fought for everything you had. Morticia’s skin was smooth, perfect, yours was littered with small and light scars, outside was not the first time you fought, not close to it. There was one along your ribs, another few on your legs, one just above your right hip, you were littered in what the world had given you. You sighed as you stared at her, pointing to the scar on the left side of your ribs.
“This is from a botched operation, I was trying to get a girl who could form weapons out of her own blood out. She cut me right between the ribs, Jenkins though I would bleed out, actually. I almost did.” You hummed. “I taught her to fence properly a few years later.” You sighed, looking to another, your blackened fingers smoothing over a small one under your right breast. “This was the first time I got shot. It’s a little hazy, but I didn’t realize I was actually shot until I passed out in front of a six year old.” You breathed, shaking your head as you turned, lifting your hair to reveal one running across the base of your neck at your back, “Chain scars.” You swallowed. “The ones at the front of my neck and my wrists I managed to remove, but this one was too deep. “That and they used to take a metal rod to the spot, beat it bloody.” You muttered, turning back around to find her staring at you with tears in her eyes. You were showing her your scars, your own pain. You were showing her she wasn’t alone. “And these,” you swallowed, running one of your hands over your arms. “These are by my own hands. I- I did these.” You breathed, and she gasped, sitting up fully and moving towards you. You looked away, unable to meet her eyes as it became too much.
“Ophelia…” she whispered, her throat tight, and you shook your head.
“These are just the ones you can see.” You sighed. The ones you can’t are the ones that hurt more, but just because they hurt doesn’t mean I am weak.” You said softly. “It doesn’t mean you are weak.” You adjusted, looking to her with the most tender expression she had ever seen directed towards her.
She just stared at you in shock.
“I certainly wouldn’t show you these out of obligation.” You said gently, sighing as you pulled on your pajama pants. “Even my twin sister hasn’t seen most of them, the only person who sees me in less than long sleeves is Wednesday, and that is because she needs to learn the same lesson.” You sighed, slipping on the shirt as well and covering the rest of you.
“You don’t have to-“ she muttered, and you just shook your head, finally looking at her again.
“I showed you them so you would know why I am here, why I can stay, why I- I want to stay. Not for my own pain to hurt you..” You swallowed. “You’re not alone, Larissa. You never will be as long as I’m around.” You promised, and the both of you looked at eachother for a moment, neither of you daring to address the commitment that had slipped from your lips so easily. You took a shuddering breath, finding something to distract yourself as you looked down at your hands as you finished buttoning your shirt. The loss of the view of your skin made her nearly tell you to take it off again, to let her look at you, to trace each one of your scars until hers faded away.
“I’m not obligated to tell you that I could produce a plethora of substances that would calm you down, ease any pain, or even numb you to the experience if you wanted me to. Hell, I could make you forget it if you asked me to.” You said gently, cuffing your sleeves absentmindedly. “Of course all of those would be illegal, but I could if you asked me.” You said, finally looking up and meeting her eyes. She was flushed, staring at you intensely.
Larissa could feel her heart pounding, she could feel the fear. She couldn’t keep you, but she might be able to have you for the night. You were strong, powerful, you controlled the world around you, brought people to their knees. She wanted that power, she wanted to feel powerful, she wanted the control back. She needed it.
“Make me forget.” She said, and you raised your brows. For a woman so obsessed with control, that was the last thing you would have thought she’d choose.
“Not would I would have thought you’d ask for.” You hummed, rolling up your sleeves, and she crawled to the end of the bed, sitting back on her knees. She placed her hands over your own, wrapping hers around your wrists, making you jump despite yourself when she touched you. It was dangerous, you knew that. Dangerous to let her touch you. You could hurt her, you could kill her even if you lost control, but as long as you were looking at her you could try.
“Not like that.” She whispered, and your eyes snapped to her. She couldn’t mean… She herself had seen what could happen, she would never.
“Larissa,” you breathed, and she just shook her head. Just for one night, she could have you just for one night. That’s all she wanted, just one night with you, like you were hers. She pulled you closer gently, and you followed, stepping to the edge of the bed, inches from her.
“I don’t want your drugs,” she whispered, leaning in a little. Your breath hitched as her lips brushed your ear, leaning in even closer. She felt like she was spiraling, and you, you were steady, you were powerful. She wanted that, she desperately craved it. “I want you to make me forget.” She breathed, and you shuddered.
“Larissa,” you repeated and she pulled your hands onto her hips, wrapping her arms around you.
“Please?” She whispered, and you stared at her for a moment. It was just her, you reminded yourself. You had said you would do anything, and you wanted her, you ached with how much you wanted her, but the danger was always there. You looked into her eyes. She was desperate, she needed you to let her have this, she realized.
You sighed, closing your eyes for a moment and taking a deep breath before you relented.
You followed her up onto the bed, allowing her to pull you closer by the collar. You stared into her eyes as she looked over your body. Her hands went to your collar, slowly unbuttoning the shirt there. You knew what she was doing, she wanted control, she felt out of control, this would help. You just prayed she wouldn’t take your heart with everything everything else you would willingly give her.
You straddled her lap and she nodded, instantly leaning in and kissing at your neck. Your breath hitched the second her lips met you, and she moaned. You did taste good, so good. You shuddered as she licked a stripe up your neck.
“Fuck,” you breathed, and she smiled against you, you wanted her and she knew it, you liked what she was doing. It felt so good, so good to be wanted, to be the only one able to have you like this, to look at you like this. “C- carful,” you stuttered, and she chuckled against you.
“I will be,” she smiled as she unbuttoned the rest of your shirt, swallowing as she took you in so close to her. She could feel the heat of your skin, the way you reacted to her. She kissed where your neck met your shoulder, and you whimpered, your arms wrapping around her head and shoulders. God, your skin around her was everything, the way you just gave to her as if she was a goddess amongst men.
Your hand wound into her still damp hair, and she moaned into you, sucking a slight mark into you. Would you stop her? Would you push her away and run? She knew she was pushing you, she wanted to push you, she wanted to feel powerful, in control. Your hand tightened in her hair, your thighs tensing as she did. She reveled in the power, power you gave to her so easily. She turned you around, laying you down on the bed and leaning over you, your legs wrapping around her hips. Her hands went to your ribs, tracing over the scar on your side. Your breath hitched, and she smirked against you.
“Sensitive?” She teased you, and you swallowed. You were, yes, but more than that you were just so unused to touch, to any touch, let alone touch so intimate and gentle. It sent shockwaves through your as you arched slightly into her hands.
“Something like that,” you breathed, and she chuckled. She went back to your neck, kissing the mark she had given you before starting to kiss her way down, her lips and teeth dragging down until she reached the top of your bra. You moaned as she bit down lightly on the top of your breast, arching into her as your hands pulled at her.
“Fuck, you are.” She breathed, kissing over the edge of the lace covering your chest. You groaned at the vulgarity, she didn’t curse, almost ever, and the utterance slipping past her lips had you flushing. She brought her hands to your chest, grabbing you as her lips continued kissing over the edge of the lace. “Take it off?” She asked you, and you exhaled in releif.
She asked.
She may be using you, but at least she asked. You sighed as your eyes fluttered closer, a slight smile on your face. You could do this, for her, you could do this.
You nodded, arching up and allowing her to reach behind you. She unclasped it, easing the straps off your shoulders before pulling it off of you. You inhaled shakily, looking to her eyes for any sort of reaction. You knew you were attractive, but this woman had your heart pounding, every insecurity you had spent years working over flooding back as her ice blue eyes took you in.
“Good god.” She breathed, her lips instantly meeting your skin. Her eyes looked up to your as she sucked her nipple into your mouth, making you gasp, your hands gripping onto her shoulders.
“Ah- Larissa,” you whimpered, and she groaned at the sound of her name on your lips. The power she had, that she could reduce someone as strong as you to this in a matter of minutes. She drug her teeth over you, and you moaned, arching up into her as you felt heat settle between your legs. You didn’t know how far you could go, how much you could give her, but you could certainly feel how far you wanted to.
“Mmm, beautiful.” She murmured, and you gasped as she nipped at the bottom of your breast.
“Fuck!” You hissed, and she smiled.
“So sensitive, you really do crave touch, don’t you, sweetheart?” She teased you, and you swallowed, your head spinning. You nodded dumbly, she had you, she had you irrevocably needy, desperate, nearly crying out for her. “Oh poor darling,” she breathed, “tell me, how long has it been?” She teased you, and you groaned, pulling her up by the chin and slamming your lips into hers. Her breath hitched, kissing you roughly before she grabbed your hands, pinning them above your head. You jumped, your heart startling as you stared at her.
“Larissa, I-“ you said shakily, and her hands softened around your wrists, her fingers stroking over yours gently. You breathed in slowly, closing your eyes for a moment, just feeling her above you. It was alright, it was Larissa. You needed to give this to her, you could give this to her. You nodded, and she pulled you against her again. Fuck, she was strong.
“I’m in control, sweetheart.” She whispered against your lips, and you were helpless to do anything other than nod.
“Yes,” you breathed, and she nodded.
“That’s right.” She breathed, her throat closing up a bit. She was in control, she reminded herself. You were under her, pinned, panting desperately, not asking anything of her, just giving willingly as she took.
But you weren’t hers.
You weren’t hers and this wasn’t right. She was using you. She was using you and she knew it. Guilt flooded her as she looked at you, spread out underneath her. You were panting, flushed. She looked up, your blackened fingers pinned beneath her hands. She was pinning you down. She was pinning you down and taking, taking without asking, demanding, she felt sick, what was she doing? Why did it hurt, why did she do this, why did she-
“Larissa,” your voice was soft, a comfort, pulling her out of her head. “Alright, that’s enough.” You whispered, and she shook her head, fighting back the panic in her own mind.
“No, no I can do this, I- I can, I can make you feel good, I promise, I-“ she started to panic. You were going to leave. She had done something wrong and now you were going to leave, just like everyone else. Just like your sister.
“Larissa, stop.” You said, and her eyes snapped to yours. “You’re crying, stop, let my hands go.” You swallowed, you didn’t know if it was something that you did or something that happened in her mind, but you knew that it was enough. Her hands released yours, and she sat up, turning away from you.
“I’m sorry.” She whispered, and you sat up, grabbing your shirt and pulling your arms through.
“Larissa, look at me.” You said, and she shook her head, wrapping her arms around herself.
“No, I- I used you, I wanted control, and I- I just took and-“ she was panicking, you would never talk to her again, she might as well shut out everything she felt now.
“Did I tell you to stop?” You asked her, and she quieted for a moment. “Larissa, did I tell you to stop?” You asked again, and she swallowed, shaking her head. You sighed, your heart saddening for the woman. Someone had hurt her. Your sister had hurt her, her parents had hurt her, and it broke your heart. “I am perfectly capable of stopping you, but that’s not what I did, is it?” You asked her. She still stayed silent. “I know.” You sighed. “I know what you’re feeling right now and I knew what you were doing.” You said, and finally she turned to you.
“Then why didn’t you stop me?” She asked you, and you swallowed.
“Because I wanted to stay.” You admitted, your throat tight. She furrowed her brows. “God, I just wanted to stay, I wanted to help you- I- I still do.” You whispered, your heart dangerously close to the surface. You should do this. You shouldn’t tell her these things, you certainly shouldn’t when she was already on the edge.
“You wanted to stay? Why would you want to stay?” She asked, and you shook your head. She turned to you, and your heart broke even further as you saw her red-rimmed eyes. She swallowed, looking at you in desperation. “I wasn’t, I didn’t even do anything, I- why would you want to stay! I can’t even touch you properly!” She hissed, and your eyes went wide.
“Larissa,” you shook your head, and she just cringed, her jaw clenching.
“No, no I’ve done this before, I’m not- I know how this works. You feel guilty, you’ll stay until you get what you want, then you’ll go.” She said, and you swallowed. “They always go. She always goes, you will go.” She choked through her anger and pain. That wasn’t you. She knew that wasn’t you. You reeled back as you realized exactly what she was saying.
“Larissa, I-“ you warned, but she just shook her head.
“You’ll get tired of me, or you’ll get what you want, you’ll be like her, you’ll be just like Morticia, and you’ll go and-“
“Fuck you.” You gritted, and she stopped. She looked at you again. She didn’t just look at you, she really looked. There were tears in your eyes, your arms were wrapped around yourself protectively. She had said something wrong, something very, very wrong. She had just compared you to the woman who had drugged her into passive submission and denied her feelings for years. The woman you had been compared to your entire life. Yet up until now, never by her.
“I am not my sister.” You spat at her. You swallowed, fighting back the tears that threatened to come. “I- I came in here for you, not for my own fucking sake!” You yelled, standing and backing up. You got off the bed, clutching your shirt around yourself. “I would have stayed.” You said, your voice quieting. “I would have stayed no matter what you asked me to do.” You swallowed, and her eyes went wide.
Yes, you would have. And she knew it. She knew from the moment you helped her into her room that you would do anything she asked. You would stay until she felt in control again. She didn’t have to take it from you, you had given it freely.
“I- I’m sorry.” She breathed, and you nodded.
“Yeah.” You replied, biting back a much cruller retort.
“Ophelia, I-“ she started, and you shook your head, backing up.
“Next time you want to fuck my sister, call her, don’t expect me to be her.” You gritted, walking towards the door. Larissa panicked.
“Wait, Ophelia- wait, I-“ she tried, but your mind was already made up.
“And six years.” You said, glaring at her. It was pain, she realized, pain was marring your face, not hatred. “Six years since someone touched me like that.” You spat, slamming the door on your way out.
Notes:
Hello darlings! I hope you enjoyed this chapter! I was having a bit of a time trying to write it, so please let me know what you think!
Kofi for support:
https://ko-fi.com/miss_v_257Discord for chatting/questions:
https://discord.gg/zGjCzXq8
Chapter 14: Pay The Price
Summary:
Larissa gets her first look of your real life, your real job, and it leaves her absolutely horrified. Yet the revolution that comes with you trying to numb the pain is one that shakes her to her very core.
WARNING: Blood/death/implied violence/violence against children/drug use/non-graphic mention of assault
Notes:
Hello my darlings, this one was WILD, I cannot WAIT to hear what you have to think!!!
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
You were walking through the halls to your classroom when you felt it, a prickling in the back of your mind.
Danger, that was danger. You knew it well.
Your psychic abilities occasionally lended themselves to the feeling of danger, as opposed to a full on vision, and while this didn’t feel particularly terrible, it certainly wasn’t good.
You took a deep breath in, trying to sense where it was coming from. It wasn’t clear, but as you began to move through the halls you could feel the pull, pulling you through the school and to a room you were coming to dread.
Of course you would be led to the headmistress’s office. It was the last place you wanted to be at the moment, so naturally that’s where life would take you. Whatever force was playing at you, it wasn’t deadly, and at that point, it was enough for you. You couldn’t sense any real immediate danger, simply sighing deeply as you stared at the large oak doors.
You went to turn around and go the other way when you heard the glass shatter, and the startled yelp that came with it. You groaned, opening the door only to find Wednesday there, her face enraged, a glass smashed on the ground in front of her as she stared daggers at the headmistress.
“If you so much as look at her wrong, I will make your life-“ the girl began, and your mind was made up.
“Wednesday Addams!” You commanded, and she whirled around to look at you.
“Auntie- I-“ She stuttered, and the look you gave her betrayed the disappointment and hurt you felt. “I was just-“ she tried, and you shook your head.
“Threatening your headmistress.” You said pointedly, and she just stared, her eyes falling to your gloved hands, wrapped around each other tightly as you tried to avoid a reaction.
“Ophelia, she was-“ Larissa tried, but you wouldn’t even look at her.
“I’m aware of what she was doing, I am no fool, ma’am.” You said bitterly, and the woman cringed. “Wednesday. You know better.” You sighed, relenting, and the girl just shook her head.
“It’s not fair!” She yelled, and your eyes went wide at the sudden outburst. It was unlike her, very unlike her.
“Wednesday, darling, are you alright?” You asked her softly, your entire demeanor shifting in concern as she stared daggers in an attempt to fend off tears. Larissa swallowed at the change. It was beautiful, the softness you showed when you looked to your niece was beautiful. She missed it. It had only been a few days and she missed it.
“You protect everyone! And no one protects you. I’ve seen what your job, what your real job, does to you! I’ve seen you die!” She yelled, and you cringed. “You don’t let anyone hurt you! The only person allowed to hurt you is you, so why would you let her do it!” Wednesday yelled, and you sighed, closing your eyes. Of course that’s what this was about. The girl was notoriously overprotective of you, of course Larissa would face it head on.
“Come along, Wednesday, leave her alone.” You said, referencing the woman in the room, but still adamantly not looking at her. Larissa could feel regret cutting into her, almost gutting her as your eyes looked everywhere but her. You looked so tired, it broke her heart.
“No!” Wednesday yelled, and you stared at her curiously. “She hurt you. She hurt you like all those other people, the ones you don’t talk about, the ones even mother is too scared to say the name of-“ the girl began, and this time when you cut her off there was something much deeper in your voice. Not quite sharper, but certainly much more firm.
“Wednesday Addams.” You said again, and her rant was cut short as she stared at you. “Miss Weems did not hurt me, not in that sense, and you will not, ever, compare her to the people who did so.” You said firmly, and the girl shook her head as Larissa watched in utter shock. You were hurt, it was clear, you wouldn’t even look at her. Yet the second Wednesday had implied that, you stopped her in her tracks.
“Like she didn’t.” The girl scoffed, and you shook your head. The conviction in you was striking, and Larissa’s breath caught.
“Ophelia, Wednesday, you don’t have to-“ she tried, the tension between you two growing heavier by the moment. It was overbearing, choking, almost.
“Wednesday, whatever you think she did, it’s not nearly enough to merit this kind of behavior.” You said firmly, and the girl just shook her head at you.
“She made you bloom black roses.” Wednesday said, and you blinked for a moment before reaching up to your hair, finding exactly that, tiny black rosettes along the crown of your head.
“Wednesday, it’s fine, come on, let’s just go.” You sighed, your voice betraying exhaustion as you gestured for the girl. Larissa felt her heart sink at the defeated look that crossed your face.
“How is she better than all the other ones? Why does she deserve your forgiveness?” Wednesday snapped, and you stilled mid-turn, sighing deeply.
“Wednesday, when your mother is talking about people who have hurt me, she is not talking about my- she- damnit Mortici a!” You groaned, running a hand through your hair before fixing the girl with a look. “When I go to work- my real work, not this, I deal with two types of people.” You sighed. “I deal with children, many younger than you are now, who have been hurt worse then you can possibly imagine.” You gritted. “And I then I deal with the people who have hurt them.” You said darkly. “That is the kind of people who have hurt me, Wednesday. That is what I have to deal with, every day, every night, I hear children screaming, screaming because of these people. I spend hours upon hours bent over broken bodies and microscopes, I have worked and grown until my hands went numb and bleeding because of that type of hurt.” You said, astonishingly calmly.
“Miss Weems couldn’t even touch that, darling. She’s not even capable.” You said softly, and Wednesday stared at you, taking in the information. Larissa watched with a stricken face as Wednesday swallowed, looking at you mildly ashamed. That is what you dealt with, that is what pain was to you, and she felt a mixture of horror and shame as she realized she had added to it.
“Do you know what this place is? What this place means?” You asked her, and she just looked away from you, mumbling quietly.
“It’s a school.” She managed, and you nodded, your lips pursing as you held back emotion.
“Yes, it is. But more than that, this place is safe.” You breathed. “God, it’s like a dream, I- I love teaching.” You smiled gently, your mind working faster than either of the other two could process. Yet your words rang true, the tall blonde staring at you felt her heart swell and sink at the same time as you spoke of the school, of the place she upheld.
“I love teaching, if I- if I had grown up differently I would have been a teacher, a real teacher, not an adjunct professor at various schools as a cover job, I would have taught class after class of students, like I taught you, like I get to now, for the time being.” You sighed, rubbing your temples before you looked at the girl tiredly. “This is like a vacation to me, you realize that?” You asked, and she nodded slowly as Larissa stared at you, the pain on your face clear. It cut her more than anything else. She couldn’t speak, she wouldn’t dare, she didn’t even know what to say. “I get to wake up every day in a place that’s safe, I don’t have to wonder if I’m going to have to go out and get shot at, or if I’m going to loose another child, or if one of the few I have managed to help is going to be the reason I’m wearing black at the end of the day.” You breathed, and Larissa tried to bite back the emotion that came with that admission. This place really meant that much to you, and she had crushed the little happiness you had. “No, this place, darling, this place is heaven to me.” You said softly.
“Auntie I…” she tried, and you just smiled sadly. Larissa stared at you, you wouldn’t look at her, your eyes firmly fixed on Wednesday, but she could see them. She could see your eyes, and they were soft as they looked at your niece. Sad, but soft, and even if you wouldn’t look at her like that, the familiarity of it comforted her.
“Wednesday, do you know why that is? Why this place is safe?” You asked, and she sighed.
“Because it’s protected.” She answered, and you nodded.
“Yes, it is. And how is it protected?” You asked, and she glanced to the side, her eyes cutting to Larissa, making your heart squeeze in your chest. She hurt you, badly, but that didn’t mean that Wednesday could do this. The kind of hurt she had caused you wasn’t even comparable to what Wednesday was implying.
“By Miss Weems.” She admitted, and you nodded.
“She is the exact opposite of what I have to deal with every day when I go home.” You sighed tiredly, the very idea already wearing on you. There was a reason you weren’t in Cambridge, a situation that had to be sorted out before you could go home. Yet every day you were gone you were painfully aware that they still needed you. “Don’t, please, please don’t compare her to those people, Wednesday. I’m far too tired and bitter to explain why this place, her school, is the very thing I’ve been working for my entire life.” You sighed, staring down at the girl until she relented. She shook her head.
“She hurt you.” She whispered, and you smiled softly, shaking your head.
“Not in the way you think, love.” You hummed, and she sighed deeply, finally relenting.
“Still not fair,” she muttered, and you rolled your eyes.
“Life isn’t fair, but I’m much tougher then you seem to think I am.” You chuckled, despite the pain Larissa could still see hidden in your eyes.
“Ophelia, if I could-“ she tried, but the walled off look in your eyes when they cut to her stopped her dead in her tracks. She had seen you look at people like that, but never her. You had never looked at her like that before. Come to think of it, you only really looked at one person like that, your sister. You were looking at her the same way you looked at Morticia, with unmeasurable hurt in your eyes. With emotion so deep it was almost frightening, yet a relentless, impenetrable wall stood in the way of it.
She froze, her heart seizing in her throat as she recognized it, looking down in shame as you looked back to Wednesday.
“Come along, let’s go before I have to find you a solicitor.” You sighed, and Wednesday rolled her eyes.
“They’re called lawyers here.” She said, and you shrugged.
“Yeah, well I left when I was eleven, and I haven’t been back much.” You defended with a smile, and she laughed. You winked at her, just in time for your phone to ring. You sighed heavily, looking down at the caller ID before you froze.
It was as if all the warmth drained from your body in only a second, the shift was subtle, but it was enough for Wednesday to step back to look at you and for Larissa to stand in nervousness. You swallowed, it was as if your very energy went dark, as if the person standing in your place wasn’t you, it was the woman Larissa had seen the other night, the woman who could nearly kill a man without blinking. This was sharp focus, terrifyingly so.
“Jenkins,” you breathed, answering the phone, only to hear the man grunt.
“Fuck,” he hissed, and your eyes went wide, panic flooding you.
“What happened, where are you?” You rushed, only to hear him hush you.
“It’s fine, we, the team is fine, banged up pretty bad, but we’re alright.” Came the thick Scottish accent through the phone. You sighed in relief, Larissa’s brows furrowing as she stepped closer. “Phil, I need yer help.” He sighed, and you closed your eyes for a moment, swallowing.
“Of course, I’ll be right there.” You sighed, and you could see Wednesday bloom with anger as the words left your mouth. If you had looked, you would have seen Larissa’s fear as well.
“Ophelia,” she tried, but you didn’t even pay her any mind, your focus entirely on the man who had called you. Wednesday, however, caught you attention. She stepped in front of you, staring at you with such deep anger and sadness it was enough to make you stop. You were leaving again. She knew what it meant when you left. The girl knew what you did was dangerous. She had been with Jenkins time after time waiting for you to return, hoping that you would. Only this time, it was Jenkins you were going too, and she would be left alone. Your eyes softened again as you looked at the girl.
“Jenkins, will… will I be back by morning?” You asked. “I have a class at nine.” You said almost lightheartedly, almost. You heard his deep sigh on the other side of the phone.
“Aye, it’s, its clean up. I just can’ ask anyone else to do this they don’t- they don’t have the stomach.” He sighed, and you hummed.
“I- I’m with my niece, one moment.” You sighed, taking the phone from your ear as you looked at the girl. “I have to go.” You said, and her eyes went wide, panic settling in them.
“No, no you can’t.” She breathed, grabbing your wrist. Your lips pursed at the action, shaking your head.
“I have to honey, I- I love this place, I do, but this isn’t where I’m needed, you know that.” You said softly, the emotion in your voice as you attempted to comfort the girl making it waver.
Larissa felt her own heart stop. You couldn’t leave, not now. Not when she had messed things up so badly.
“But I need you.” Wednesday argued, her normally ambivalent demeanor completely crumbling. You took a deep breath in, doing your best to smile.
“Darling, no you don’t.” You said, and she shook her head. “You will be just fine, weather I’m here or not, hell, I can’t think of a better place for you.” You tried to assure her, only for your words to fall on deaf ears.
“With you! I would be better with you!” She cried, and you shut your eyes for a moment, trying to force down the emotion that came.
“Wednesday, I love you more than anything in this world, but you will be alright, you will be safe, and just fine until I come back.” You said softly, and the girl gritted her teeth through the tears. She hated crying, she’d rather rip her own hair out then cry in front of others, you knew that much. You took the phone to your ear, swallowing. “Are you able to tell Wednesday that I’ll be back by morning?” You sighed, and you heard him swallow on the other end of the line. You both knew what you were really asking. You were asking if he thought this would be safe, at least, as safe as any of your outside operations could be, and you heard him clear his throat.
“Aye, I can do that for ye.” He said, and you sighed, taking the phone and putting it on speaker.
“Go ahead,” you hummed, and you heard him clear his throat again before he spoke to the girl.
“Miss Wednesday, I can tell you yer aunt will be back by morning, we’re not under direct threat, that part- that part is over.” He said, and you nodded with his words.
“If you’re not under threat then why do you need her?” The girl spat back, and you fixed her with a warning glare.
“Wednesday, you know we can’t-“ you began, only for the Scotsman to cut you off.
“How old is she now?” He asked you, and your eyes went wide, shaking your head instantly.
“Not old enough,” you whispered, your voice ragged if just for a moment, and he sighed.
“Even ye can’t protect all of them, Ophelia, some day she will likely have to know at least a bit of it.” He added, and you cleared your throat, swallowing.
“Yes, but today is not that day.” You replied, and the man hummed, respecting your decision.
“Yer aunt will be back by morning. We’re not even fighting, it’s just, it’s the what happens after part.” He tried to explain, and you breathed in slowly, trying to settle yourself.
“You said it wasn’t our team…” you muttered, and there was a moment of silence. Fear creeped into you as it stretched on, your mind racing to think what that could possibly mean. There weren’t many things that made that man quiet.
“This one’s not for the kid, Phil.” He finally said, only making your mind spin faster.
“Alright I-“ you began, only for him to continue.
“What are ye wearing?” He asked you, and Larissa looked at you strangely. She knew whatever was happening was bad, very bad, but she didn’t know what your attire had to do with it.
“Ah, what I taught in, a skirt and top, why- no…” you breathed, the realization suddenly dawning on you.
“Get yer blacks, doc, yer working blacks.” He said, and your eyes closed for a moment. You turned away from your niece, not wanting her to see the reaction. This, however, meant that Larissa had a perfect view of the pain and darkness that crossed your face. It was as if the warmth and light she had come to cherish whenever you were in her presence had been snuffed, as if someone had frozen your very soul. It nearly brought tears to her eyes.
“Wednesday, go to my room and get the black duffel bag in the dresser.” You said firmly, and the girl stepped closer to you, pulling you to look at her.
“Auntie you can’t-“
“Now, Wednesday.” You said firmly, and the girl just shook her head, worry beginning to form all over again as she ran from the room. You didn’t have time for this, you couldn’t panic now.
“I’m sending Flit.” Came the voice on the speaker, and your eyes went wide again, nearly snapping to Larissa before you realized, instead fixing onto the carpet as you took the phone off speaker and held it to your ear.
“You can’t send Flit here.” You said firmly, and the man grunted as Larissa took another step towards you, slowly. You looked panicked, pained, worn down despite the strength you were standing with. She wanted to hold you and tell you it would be alright, that she would make it alright, yet she had ruined it the one time you had let her that close, she had ruined it, and she felt as if you would never let her again.
“What’s wrong with Flit?” The man on your phone asked, and you sighed.
“Nothing, but if Flit sees someone with a posh accent over six feet tall even look at me wrong they’ll have a meltdown. I can’t take that risk.” You sighed, and Larissa froze, looking at you wide eyed. Why would someone like her cause someone you worked with to have a meltdown? It didn’t make sense, what were you even talking about.
“Jesus, it was Flit with you…” Jenkins muttered, and you hummed darkly, your hands faltering for the first time since you had picked up the phone, the woman in the room with you caught the movement, her instinct to soothe the tremor winning out over her fear as she took another step closer, only to freeze when you spoke again.
“Yes, Flit was the one with me in the lab when he… when he came for me. They saw too much, far too much.” You breathed. “They were just a kid.” You murmured, and you heard the man protest on the line.
“It’s not yer fault, Ophelia.” He said, and you hummed, your throat closing up.
“Jenkins, the kid watched him do unspeakable things to me, I- I should have been faster.” You breathed, and you could hear him grunt in protest.
“Ophelia, what ye went through that day, those weeks, what the both of ye went through, that isn’t your fault. None of it. I don’ know many who could go through what you did an’ come out on the other side.” He said, and you exhaled sharply.
“Sure you do,” you breathed, “Every single succubi we take from them, nearly every shapeshifter, most of the sirens, half of the psychics and witches,” you breathed, placing the phone on speaker and putting it on the ground again as you began to braid your hair back, starting with the crown of your head.
Larissa felt her heart drop. You were talking about- but that would imply that someone had, when you were older, after everything you had been through, again? She couldn’t fathom how could the world be this cruel to you, and tears formed in her eyes as she watched the weary strength and precision with which you started to tame the wild mass of curls she wanted nothing more then to run her fingers through as she held you close and safe.
“Most of the children we take from those places have been through what he did, and many have been through much, much worse.” You sighed. “At least I have the advantage of not being able to give him what he wanted.” You hummed half wittily, the wry comment not landing. The world faded from you as your mind started working, the only thing you were consciously aware of was Jenkins’ voice as you began to plan.
“Phil, if he had managed to- to-“ he stuttered, and your face twisted in a grimace for a moment. You were too focused at this point, your mind already running scenarios. You had nearly forgotten about the fact that Larissa was there. It was odd, you were often hyper-aware of everyone, only able to let someone slip under your radar when you loved and trusted them, something that came with years upon years of closeness.
“You can say he tried to breed me, Jenkins, there’s not a better term.” You gritted. “Unfortunately for him, no amount of effort can make up for the fact that I’m barren.” You finished, only to hear a horrified gasp. That was when you remembered, when you realized she was there.
You turned to go face her slowly, your hands frozen in your hair. There were tears in her eyes, her hands slightly outstretched as if she was aching to go to you, to comfort you. You wanted to let her. You did, yet as long as she could only see you as an extension of your sister, your sister, who had done terrible things to her, she would never truly see you.
“Merde,” You breathed, and the woman’s brows furrowed as her face softened in concern.
“I…” she tried, but no words came out.
“You weren’t supposed to hear that.” You hissed, turning back to the side as you continued working on your hair, ending by tying the braid up in a bun.
“Ye alright?” Came the thick Scottish from the phone, and you grunted.
“Yeah, just, just some of my own things.” You sighed. “Wake up Sugar.” You said, and he hummed.
“She should be ready to get you in a few minutes, don’t move.” He said, and you swallowed.
“As if I don’t know the standard operating procedure I came up with.” You sighed, only for Wednesday to burst through the door, carrying your bag. “She’s back, Jenkins, clean talk.” You said quickly, and he grunted in acknowledgment.
“Auntie, you can’t-“ she tried, and you shook your head.
“Wednesday, you need to go now. I’ll be back by morning, I- I promise.” You managed, and the girl looked at you for one final moment, rushing to you and holding you tight for just a second, a rare moment of tenderness that took Larissa completely off guard as you wrapped your hands around the girl. “I love you.” You whispered, and she nodded, allowing you to lean down and kiss the crown of her head before she left, closing the door on her way out.
You sighed, standing still for a moment and fighting back your own tears, your own worry. It was always a risk, you knew that, you’d be a fool not to. Yet leaving was never this hard when it was just you. When it was just you, it didn’t truly matter if you came back. With Wednesday, it did.
When your eyes opened again, the shift was dramatic. You were no longer the soft and loving aunt, not the lighthearted and comforting teacher. This was the medic, the woman who fought every day, who risked her life over and over again, so that others might have a chance at one.
“Turn around.” You said firmly, and Larissa jumped when she realized you were talking to her.
“Ophelia, please, I-“ she whispered, but you just shook your head, still not looking.
“Turn around.” You repeated, slightly softer this time, but the rigidity there was unmistakable. You were going to change, and all those scars she had seen just the other night were no longer hers to look at. She did, and you began to strip, pulling off your sweater and skirt to be replaced by a black athletic turtleneck and tactical pants. You exhaled sharply as you zipped and buttoned them, before grabbing your belt and boots from the bag.
“You’re fine now.” You gritted, and you felt more then heard Larissa’s small choked sound at the admission. You had taken away the closeness, the vulnerability. It wasn’t for her to witness anymore, she was as closed off to you as everyone else. Then again, if that were really true, you would have had her leave.
“Sugar is coming.” Jenkins said through the speaker, and you hummed as you fastened the belt before moving on to the tactical boots, all black, all made especially for you and your ability.
“What, exactly, am I walking into here, Jenkins?” You asked, and you could feel the silence settle into your bones as he hesitated. Jenkins was one of the longest standing members of your hospital, he was part of the team that had helped get you out. Him and Georgiana. You shuddered as you realized whatever it was, it was enough to make him fall silent, enough to make even him struggle to find the words. “Jenkins,” you breathed, and he audibly steadied himself.
“He has new orders, he- he would rather kill them then let someone else make a profit.” He managed, and your heart dropped. You stood there, shocked still, tears threatening to come as you tried to pull yourself together. Larissa could see it, you were coming apart, she stepped over to you again, and this time you didn’t even have the fight to react. What he was saying was sick, a level of disregard for life that shocked even you.
“How many?” You breathed, and the man swallowed.
“Phil, there was nothin’ ye could have done, we didn’t even know about the order until they opened fire on them-“ he tried, only to be cut off by your firm order.
“How many?” You asked again, your voice low. He sighed, you would find out any way, there was no use delaying it.
“Four sirens, three succubi, three shape shifters, three illusionists, two psychics, and a healer.” He sighed, and you nearly doubled over. A standard transport had maybe five children, but that, sixteen, and to all be gone. Your breath stopped as your arms wrapped around yourself on instinct trying desperately to get your lungs to expand.
You weren’t there.
You weren’t there and this had happened, sixteen children, dead, and you weren’t there to help. You painfully gasped for air, your head swimming, only to feel strong hands steadying you, exactly where you needed. You wanted to push her away, to yell at her, to scream at her, yet all that came out was a near silent whimper as you mourned lives that had barely begun.
“How old?” You rasped, and you could hear Jenkins stutter. He knew you carried guilt when you were away, but it wasn’t your fault, you were away to protect them, you had to be away until they took care of the main threat, the man who had ordered this action even.
“Ophelia, ye know that it-“ he tried, but your voice cut him off in a second.
“Goddamnit Jenkins, I’m going to spend the next however many hours helping you bury children’s bodies because I CAN’T BE THERE!” You nearly screamed. “You will tell me how old they are, so that when I get there my team does not see me sobbing hysterically when they’re younger then I expect them to be!” You spat, and the man seemed to fold the second your voice was raised fully.
“So far six to thirteen, but it’s hard to tell…” he trailed, and you choked, your hand covering your mouth as guilt flooded you like nothing you had ever felt. Six. At only six they had been gunned down. The very man who forced you to leave your home at the hospital would rather have a child, a six year old child, be gunned down than for someone else to make a profit off of them. Larissa’s hands just stroked over your back, the sensation simultaneously making you want to scream and push her away as well as collapse into her. “The shapeshifters look like they were in a blitz when it happened, it’s- its bad, Ophelia.” He admitted, and you closed your eyes for a moment, willing yourself to stop before the tears started to come.
You could have a moment of shock, but you must move on, you must move on quickly. Larissa could physically feel the shift in your body as the emotions shut down, the sharpness of your mind she had seen when you had fought snapping into place.
“They will revert within a few hours, we can try to identify then.” You said, your voice cold and dark, you were listing facts, not talking.
“Got it, Sugar should be there any second, then we can- then we’ll get to work.” He sighed, and you nodded, not that he could see it.
“Ophelia,” the woman above you whispered, trying to call out to you, to reach you, beneath the guard you had slammed up.
You felt the slight shift in air and heard the light snapping sound you knew to be someone teleporting near you. Larissa, unfortunately, did not, and continued to lean over you and attempt to get you to stand up straight, to talk to you. She didn’t even realize someone else was in the room until the pistol cocked.
She nearly screamed, turning to find a ginger-haired girl, probably in her twenties, staring her down with a handgun leveled directly at the woman. When she finally spoke, it was in a thick southern drawl, much to Larissa’s surprise.
“If you don’t get yer hands off my boss, I’m fixin’ to take ‘em off for you, understand?” She spat, her green eyes filling with absolute venom as she stared at Larissa, who shook like a leaf. There was a gun, pointed directly at her, by a woman who just appeared in her office. She could feel her heart stop, the moments seem to stretch on as she stared down the barrel.
“Sugar! Stand down.” You commanded quickly, snapping straight up, placing yourself in between the two of them and directly in front of the barrel, shielding Larissa. The young woman went wide-eyed, immediately holstering the weapon and staring at you, leaving Larissa’s heart pounding as the room seemed to spin. You protected her, even now, you protected her.
“I’m sorry, Angel, I just saw someone touchin’ you, and that’s not normally a good thing, I didn’t mean- I mean, I did- but not if she was allowed to, if you- if you-“ the ginger struggled, and you waved her off, straightening up and picking up your phone. “We’ll be there in a moment, Jenkins.” You said, receiving his affermative hum before you clicked off the line. “It’s alright, I- I understand.” You sighed to the woman, and she exhaled, releived, before turning to Larissa, who still seemed to be out of her body. You may be angry with the woman, but you didn’t want her to suffer. Your hands were slow, steady as you braced one on her forearm, calling her attention to you.
“Are you alright?” You asked calmly, and her ice blue eyes snapped to yours, fear in them that broke your heart. “I- I think- yes, yes I’m alright.” She stuttered and you nodded.
“Good, I need to go, but, I- I’ll be back by morning, and Sugar only pointed it at you because she thought you were hurting me. She wouldn’t have shot without the command.” You said calmly, and she swallowed as she nodded shakily.
“The medic is right ma’am, I’m sorry for startlin’ you, it’s just when most people touch her, it ain’t a good thing. Never is, really.” She mumbled, and you looked at Sugar a moment before looking back to Larissa.
“Don’t go,” the woman breathed, and you tensed, your entire body pulling back a bit. “Please don’t go, not like this- I- I still need to- Ophelia please, I- I have to fix it.” She rushed, and you furrowed your brows, pulling back from her as you shook your head.
“I have a responsibility.” You swallowed, pain flashing across your face once more before it settled into the cool calm of the fighter she knew you could be. “And it is not to be a replacement for someone who didn’t even treat you like a decent human being.” You said firmly, picking up your bag and slinging it over your shoulder before walking to Sugar.
“Ready, Angel?” She asked, doing her best to ignore whatever was going on between you and the other woman in the room. You sighed deeply, looping your arm through hers and nodding. “I hate that call sign.” You muttered, and the two of you were gone, leaving Larissa standing alone in her office, your words echoing in her ears.
That’s why it had hurt you so much, you didn’t just hate being compared to your sister, you hated her comparing you to your sister, especially after everything she had done. You hated being seen as someone who would hurt her like that, and that was exactly what she had told you she saw you as. A cruel, careless woman, who would hurt her without a second thought.
Her heart sank in her chest, sobs ripping from her throat as she covered her mouth with her hand in an attempt to keep them at bay.
…
You landed in the middle of a field, a cargo train stopped on the tracks by it, Jenkins standing a few feet from you as he stared blankly at the final car. You could see the blood from here. You set your jaw, the woman of Ophelia leaving as the Medic took her place, your mind and body snapping into preparedness.
“Work on transporting the team home, Sugar. Jenkins and I will be here for a while.” You said, and she nodded, headed off to the bunch of people clad in tactical gear as far from the car Jenkins was staring at as they could get.
“Angel,” he breathed, and you gritted your teeth, walking up to stand by the six foot Scotsman, taking the already lit pipe from his hands.
“I don’t deserve that sign, not when I come to bury bodies I didn’t save.” You said firmly, brushing past him and going into the train car, beginning the process of unchaining the bodies, marking identifiers, classing the bodies, dressing them as best you could and placing them in body bags before you could transport them back to Cambridge via chopper. Once there, they would be properly cleaned, cremated, and buried in the graves by the hospital, children feeding the garden you were known to sit in for hours or days on end, smoking opium until your mind was numb to exactly why those flowers bloomed. You bit back a gag when the blood stuck to your boots, making a sick sticky sound when you moved around in the train car.
The cold feeling when you picked them up to move them was worse.
The blood was already pooling on the sides they had fallen on, making a sick sort of bruise that covered the length of each body towards the ground. You shut their eyes gently, your soul felt empty, hollow as their hands brushed up against your body, their heads falling onto your shoulders when you moved them. It was a numb feeling that spread into you, that lasted the hours while you worked. There were no words, just you and Jenkins moving silently in tandem as you did all you could for the children who were already gone.
…
Larissa stood outside the door to your room. She knew you weren’t there, that it was pointless, she knew you wouldn’t even want her in there if you were, yet she felt her entire body nearly shaking as she tried to calm herself down. You would be fine, you had promised Wednesday, that man, Jenkins or something, had even promised. You would be fine, she kept telling herself that, that you would be back by morning, that you would come back and be in that very room.
You would be there when she knocked on the door, you would answer it and look at her and… and you would say nothing. Your eyes would look blank when you saw her, or worse, full of pain, of the pain she had caused you. Your warm hands wouldn’t touch her skin, your arms wouldn’t extend to her, they would lay tense by your sides, or cross over your chest. You would close yourself off like you did before, like she had forced you to do. She didn’t realize she was crying until her hand automatically moved to catch the tear falling from her cheek, and she cursed herself for being so, so exposed.
The door whipped open, making the woman gasp and cover her face from the tears, instantly shifting slightly to change her reddened eyes and smudged makeup. Wednesday stared up at her, her own face red as she angrily wiped away her own tears.
“Miss Addams, I- I didn’t realize that someone- that you would be in here,” She rushed, and the glare Wednesday gave her could have leveled a city. Larissa stood strong however, not even wavering as she stared down at the girl. They met eyes for a moment, a second of understanding passing through everything in the way of the two of them. Wednesday was just threatening her less than a few hours ago, yet the two of them had something in common. They wanted you back. They wanted you to come back, to be safe, to be alright. They wanted you with them. Wednesday stared at her headmistress for a moment, her eyes hard and angry.
“What did you do to her?” She asked harshly, and the headmistress swallowed. She wouldn’t tell her, couldn’t, but she could stand strong.
“I said something I didn’t mean,” she said firmly, leveling with the girl if only for a moment. “Something I regret.” She finished, and Wednesday seemed to evaluate that for a moment.
“What do you want from her?” The girl asked, and Larissa stood, struck still. It wasn’t what you always asked, you asked her what she wanted, this is what she wanted from you, and her mind spun with ideas.
She wanted to see you smile, to walk around like you had danced the first night here at Nevermore, like you had in the kitchen the other night. She wanted to see you free, see you beautiful and uninhibited. She wanted to see your skin glinting in the sun again, the paleness shining after years away from the sun. She knew what she wanted from you, she just didn’t know what she wanted.
“I want her to be happy.” She breathed, and Wednesday seemed to stare at her for a moment, to try to see into her, to see if she was telling the truth. Larissa’s heart thundered beneath her calm exterior. She hated being looked at like that, yet it was almost, familiar. Wednesday had inherited her mother’s eyes, but she had inherited your gaze, it seemed, and it was your gaze that made Larissa willing to stay under it. Wednesday stepped to the side, opening the door further.
“Come in, she won’t be back until morning.” The girl said, walking in and leaving Larissa shocked still for a moment before she followed the girl quickly, stepping into the room and looking around. Wednesday had been laying in your bed, it seemed.
The girl went to the fire, turning it up before going to the electric kettle in the corner, making two cups of tea. Larissa’s face softened as she realized the girl had learned the gesture from you.
“When she comes back, she will either smell like opium or she will be half lucid.” The girl sighed, and Larissa’s eyes went wide. “My aunt is very powerful, and she can do a lot, but it still takes its toll.” She added, pouring cream into the tea before handing it to the woman in front of her.
“Opium? She can’t- that is an incredibly dangerous drug, Wednesday. She’s a scientist, surely she must know-“ the woman protested, only for Wednesday to shake her head.
“She won’t smoke it in front of me, and I doubt she would in front of any student, or when she’s working, she respects you too much for that.” The girl thought, and Larissa swallowed as she took in the inherent compliment. “I asked Jenkins about it once, apparently when she was younger it could get pretty bad, she only smokes it now when she needs it, it, it’s better than the alternative, apparently.” The girl said, and Larissa narrowed her eyes.
“If she’s addicted to it, then she needs it because it has become a dependency.” The woman said, and Wednesday turned to the fire, holding her own cup of tea and sitting on the floor in front of it, leaving the chair for the woman.
“If you could see the worst moments of everyone’s life, of your own life, wouldn’t you want to numb it?” She asked, and the white-haired woman felt her jaw slacken slightly. Wednesday wasn’t just talking about you now. That comment had come from experience. “Not to mention she sees people, children, she says, in horrible conditions. She has to see what was done to her done to others every day.” Wednesday swallowed numbly. “She won’t tell me about it.” The girl admitted. “But when you see her eyes, her eyes when she talks about it, or thinks about it. It’s horrifying Miss Weems.” The girl said. “It hurts her.” She whispered, and the headmistress followed her gaze into the flames for a moment.
“She takes it for the pain, not for the high.” The woman realized, and Wednesday nodded. “I don’t know much about it, but her body reacts to drugs differently. My mother asked her for an ibuprofen once and Aunt Ophelia laughed and said that it’s useless to her, she might as well have a pack of mints.” The girl recounted as the woman nodded.
“She… is she, in physical pain?” She asked Wednesday, and the girl nodded.
“I know she gets headaches and sick from the visions. And if she pushed her abilities too far for too long her hands start to bleed uncontrollably, they atrophy, the black spreads up her arms, it’s- its not pleasant.” The girl managed.
“You’ve seen it happen?” Larissa asked, mildly shocked, and she nodded.
“Only once. I ended up staying in her hospital for a night because of an emergency. I snuck down to her lab. She hadn’t slept in days, it was, it was after something bad happened, I don’t know what, but her arms were completely black, it was beginning to stretch up be neck, it was like it was consuming her.” The girl whispered, and Larissa felt fear creep into her. For you to be that far gone, and for your niece to see it- it was a horrifying thought. “Jenkins was watching me, he- he made sure she was alright, and then he just took me away.” The girl said, her voice flat despite the hint of fear in her eyes.
“Miss Addams, you don’t have to tell me,” she began, but the girl just shook her head.
“I’m warning you.” Wednesday explained, her eyes suddenly snapping to the headmistress, a threat there once again. “She will try to pretend she is fine. But she will be, hurt. And if you take advantage of that, I will-“
“I’m not going to harm your aunt, Wednesday.” The woman breathed, and once again they locked eyes, the girl evaluating. Larissa didn’t falter under her gaze, just staring at the girl, as honestly as she could. Wednesday narrowed her eyes, but eventually looked away, her hand going to stir the tea she had made.
“I don’t make it right. She can be a bit of a snob about it, living in Cambridge and all that.” The girl said, and Larissa raised her brows, taking a sip of the tea and tilting her head to the side, pursing her lips in thought.
“It’s not strong enough, you should let it steep a little longer next time.” The woman suggested, and Wednesday stared down into it.
“Then would you make it when she comes back?” Wednesday asked almost casually, and Larissa quickly nodded, surprised the girl even asked.
“Of course, I could even show you, if you like.” She added, and the girl hummed noncommittally.
“Are you going to sit or are you going to just stand there?” The girl eventually replied, and Larissa rolled her eyes, but sat on the chair in front of the fire, the girl still sitting on the floor in front of the one opposite, and the two sat in relative silence in the dark, barring the roaring fire.
Hours ticked by until Wednesday eventually fell asleep, her mug falling loose in her hand. The tall woman took it, setting it back on the table as well as her own. She looked at the girl sleeping in the chair, her heart squeezing slightly as she realized just how scared Wednesday must be. She pulled one of the blankets from your bed, laying it over the girl and sitting quietly in your room, checking the fire occasionally and just waiting, praying you would be alright when you returned. Her mind swirled, everything seemed, unreal. It was as if she was outside of time, just waiting to see when the world would start again, when you would walk in and time would un-freeze.
…
You could feel the aching of your body, nearly as badly as the sickness and grief settling in your mind and heart. You and Jenkins sat, waiting for Sugar to return, you puffing on your pipe as he took deep swigs of his flask.
“If ye don’t slow down ‘yer likely to lift the veil again.” He gruffed, and you hummed.
“I’d rather see the dead then bury the living.” You said blankly, your voice far away as you took another puff.
“What’s the difference, they had died.” He asked, and you watched as Sugar appeared a few feet from you both.
Your eyes clouded as shadows started to appear around you, your breathing and heart rate slowing. You could feel the numbness start to set in as the opium flooded your system, a strain you yourself had perfected, far stronger than anything else in the natural world, but just enough to take the edge off for you. The world seemed to swim as your eyes blinked slowly.
This was better. The quiet of the dark was infinitely better than the screaming inside and around you. You vaguely heard Jenkins mumble something to Sugar, and the next thing you knew you were standing outside the door to your room in Nevermore, Sugar leading you gently. You stumbled through the door, taking another deep drag as the young woman led you.
“That’s it, Angel.” She whispered, and you glared at her as your head spun. You looked into your room to find the fire roaring, hotter than you liked it, too hot. Yet there, in front of it, was Wednesday, sleeping soundly in a chair, a blanket over her as Larissa stood next to her, frozen as she looked up to you, her hand still brushing a stray hair out of Wednesday’s face. The tenderness of the action towards her filled you with relief. Not as much relief as her being asleep did, however.
You walked over silently, waving your hand over her face as pollen fell from it.
“Stay asleep darling, you don’t need to see me like this.” You whispered, your voice far away. Your knees buckled and Sugar was with you in a moment, helping you up and to a chair.
“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to grab you-“ she started, but you just shook your head, waving her off.
“I don’t like being touched, but I’m aware of your intentions.” You breathed, your eyes blinking slowly as your heart rate became even slower. Much longer and you would be seeing the dead. Yet lifting the veil through drugs was better, seeing the spirits was far better than holding corpses.
“Has your tolerance gone down or something?” She hissed in her southern drawl, and you hummed, taking the pipe to your lips as Larissa watched the broken image of you in horror.
“No,” you hummed, looking around the room, your eyes never quite settling on anything. They looked dead, Larissa realized, not just dead, but deadened. They looked hollow. What on earth had you seen to make you look like that, how horrific could it have been. “I’m just on my third pipe, would you put my niece in the bed for me?” You asked her, and Sugar just huffed but nodded, doing so before she came to you, kneeling in front of you, pulling your attention to her.
“You need to rest, Angel, you can’t do this forever, even you can’t-“
“DON’T” you gritted, and the girl jumped back, making you look away in shame. You had scared her, and the realization made you disgusted with yourself. Larissa jumped too, only she stepped forward at your sudden outburst, desperate to find out if you were alright. “I’m sorry,” you breathed, leaning back and taking another long drag as the tears began to come again. “Sugar, I’m sorry- I- I’m tired and, and I hate that fucking call sign.” You managed, your voice tight with tears, and Larissa gaped at how far you had fallen.
“Ophelia, are you…” she breathed, but your eyes never left the girl in front of you, who only shook her head at Larissa’s unvoiced question.
“I- I know, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to flinch.” Sugar whispered, and you shook your head as you opened your eyes.
“I do not blame you for knowing that I am dangerous, dear girl.” You said gently, and you heard her sharp intake of breath, making you open your eyes only to see her fall to the floor in front of you, her arms reaching for your covered body as she shook with sobs.
“I miss you, we all miss you, please Ophelia,” she whimpered, and you tentatively pulled a glove from your pocket, putting it on one hand and using it to pet the girl’s head, attempting to soothe her. This was one of your ‘girls’ Larissa realized. This young woman was likely one that you had helped raise.
“I miss you too. All of you.” You said, your voice no louder than a breath. You took one achingly slow breath, and then your eyes seemed to gaze over even more, your entire body tensing, then going nearly slack as you looked about the room, your eyes still not focusing.
Larissa watched it, the whole thing was heartbreaking, this girl, whoever she was, sobbing at your feet as you offered what little comfort you could, your own soul as broken and barren as the harshest winter.
“Come home.” The girl breathed, and you shook your head.
“You know I can’t.” You whispered, but your voice was slow, distracted, as you stared at a particular point in the room. Sugar looked up, seeing your eyes fixed on something, on nothing. She looked back at your face to find the mesmerized shine she had seen only twice before.
“You lifted the veil…” the girl whispered, and you hummed, nodding your head.
“I- is, is someone here?” She stuttered, and you nodded again, silent. Larissa stepped forward, your eyes were fixed on something, yet nothing was there, your body was almost limp, you were barely breathing, you looked like this once before, this was the look on your face before you had died. Before you had died in her very arms.
She gasped, rushing to you and standing in front, taking your arms by her hands, and Sugar gasped, yet you didn’t even flinch.
“Oh my god.” The girl whispered, her accent a little heavier when she was taken off guard. You were letting someone touch you. Not just that, but grab you.
“Ophelia, Ophelia are you alright? Look at me, please, please look at me-“ Larissa whimpered, only to stop when the girl next to her took her arm, pulling her out of it as she shook her head.
“She’s alright, she just, when she smokes enough opium or, there are a few plants that do it actually, she can see spirits.” The girl explained nervously. “Jenkins knows more about it then I do, he was always her guard, but she’s just seeing both planes right now, is how I think she describes it?” She said quietly, and Larissa tried to breathe as she looked back at you, you were still staring.
You could see a woman, a beautiful woman, with long white hair braided down her back, she was wearing a gray dress, a formal one, and shimmering jewels and gloves. She was pale, and very tall, and you smiled as you realized it wasn’t one of your ancestors who visited you tonight. Nor was it a stranger, at least not to you. You didn’t know the glowing spirit, seemingly made of moonlight and shadows, but you had an idea of who she could be.
“What do you travel to me for?” You asked gently, blissfully unaware of the two very real women staring at you nervously. The spirit tilted her head, smiling, and you huffed out a laugh. “You smile like her, are you who she learned it from?” You asked softly, and the spirit chuckled this time.
“You don’t know me anymore, do you medic?” The spirit asked, and something in the way she spoke made tears come to your eyes.
“I know not your face nor voice, but your soul feels vaguely familiar.” You breathed, your own voice broken as tears came.
“Hush, child, you don’t have to cry,” she said, walking closer slowly. “Will you let them see me?” She asked. You hummed, nodding through teary eyes. You couldn’t look away, you were transfixed.
“Ophelia, who are you speaking to, I-“ Larissa began, only to gasp as your hand slowly rose, you pulled off the glove you had put on and slowly snaked a hand over each of the women’s wrists. Larissa looked down in shock. You were touching her again. She could feel your skin on hers again. Your hands were still soft, still warm, still-
“Oh my god.” Sugar breathed again, and Larissa’s head snapped up, only to see a face she had thought was long gone, a face that nearly made her drop to her knees in shock.
“Do you know who I am?” The spirit asked you, and Larissa sobbed when she heard that voice again. You shook your head.
“No, but I could guess,” you hummed, and the woman laughed, walking closer to you, her hand coming mere inches from your face before you turned away slightly, making the spirit freeze. You wouldn’t let her touch you, not unless you knew who she was.
“You truly don’t know me,” the spirit whispered, and you shook your head.
“Not in this form. Yet if I knew you well enough to let you touch me, well, we must have been close.” You said softly, and the woman seemed to nod sadly.
“We were.” She hummed, and you looked closer.
“You could tell me…” you offered, and the spirit only shook her head, her ice blue eyes boring into you.
“I am proud of you, Ophelia,” She breathed, and you froze, your eyes going wide.
You were silent for a moment, and Larissa merely gaped at you as she realized that you were indeed close with this woman. Silence stretched on for a moment, only to finally be interrupted by your teary voice. That had gotten to you, it seemed. A simple comment like that had touched your very soul.
“Tell me, please,” you nearly begged. The woman just shook her head, beginning to walk about the room. Her feet made no sound.
“I should be releived, you have finally come to her…” the spirit trailed, tilting her head. “It took you long enough…” she hummed, and you just huffed out as you shook your own head. “Why shapeshifters?” She asked you, and you just laughed breathlessly, yet the sound was sad, pained as it left you. Larissa once again looked at you in shock. She had wanted to know the answer herself, been dying to know. She knew you worked with all types of outcasts, yet you seemed to have an affinity for her classification.
“What a question to be asked by one.” You countered, and the spirit smiled, walking over to you again.
“So you can tell.” She hummed, and you just pitched up your brows. “Still, the question,” she hummed, and you stared for a moment, feeling like your very heart was on display. This was a story you seldom shared, this one hurt too much.
“There are a few reasons, most of them names.” You answered lowly. The spirit just raised her brows.
“I know of very few who would do what you have done out of something as fickle as compassion.” She said, and you sighed, relenting.
“I was gotten out by a team made up of Jenkins, a medic, and a woman named Georgiana.” You breathed, and the spirit seemed to look at you more intensely. “Jenkins has been my protector for a very long time, but Georgiana, she was everything to me.” You breathed, and Larissa and Sugar both gaped as you spoke. “She was a shifter, an incredible one, but more than that she was like my family.” You breathed. “I was a sick and broken child. I could barely walk, my mind had been destroyed, yet she took me in. I stayed at what would later become the hospital, but at that point it was a small operation financed almost entirely by her.” You sighed, shaking your head fondly at the memory. “I never knew her natural face, nor her real name, but I knew her.” You breathed. “And she taught me everything.” You added with a sad but almost proud smile. “She trained me to be able to use my ability, not just as a weapon, but to create beautiful, beautiful and remarkable things.” You smiled. “She put me through university, I wouldn’t have had anything without her. I have my degrees, my doctorates, because of her.” You said sadly. “The reason shifter medicine progressed so much was because of what her and I accomplished together, we- we did incredible things.” There were tears in your eyes as you spoke, yet the smile was still on your face. “She saved my life the first time, and then more times then I can count on operations, she- she was my mentor, my friend, the world to me. The reason I know so much about shapeshifters is her, the reason I am so adamant about them in particular is because of what she and I went through finding and rescuing as many as we could.” You breathed, the smile fading from your face as you finally looked back up at the spirit. “Does that answer your question?” You asked her, only to find her looking rather emotional as well.
“And now?” She asked you, and you sighed heavily.
“She was killed. We had bad information, something went wrong, and I didn’t get there in time.” You swallowed, pain and guilt flooding your face once more as everyone in the room stared at you in utter shock. “The reason that place was started was her. Much of it continues in her memory.” You breathed. “I do it because of the children. I started to because of her.” You explained, and the spirit just nodded.
“She taught you well.” She murmured. “You could mark me.” She added with a smile, and you huffed, shaking your head.
“Your height, to begin with, your coloring, not to mention that you’ve insinuated I knew you by another face.” You answered, and she nodded, encouraging you. “In general you have very striking features, which can often be a give away. Granted, it’s a stereotype and it doesn’t necessarily mean you like your features, lord knows I’ve dealt with enough teenage shifters to know that, but when you’ve seen enough you start to pick up on it.” You breathed, and the spirit smiled, Larissa unable to fully process your words as she stood and stared at you both in shock,
“You’re quite good.” The spirit smiled, and the brief moment of joy fell from your face. It all came crashing back to you then, and you shook your head.
“Not good enough.” Was your only response, and the spirit stepped closer, demanding you attention.
“How many?” She asked you, and you grimaced and shook your head, lowering your face in shame. “How many?” She repeated, stronger, and when you looked up there were tears streaming down your face.
“Today? Sixteen.” You shook, your throat closing up as the tears came again. “This month, thirty maybe, last year was three hundred and twenty eight, that’s nearly one a day, and it- it never stops, there are just more and more and I don’t know what to-“
“Hush, child.” Came the calm, but firm voice in front of you, and your head snapped up in shock, both you and Larissa gaping at her. “Not how many you have lost, how many have you saved?” She asked you, and you swallowed, pulling back and shaking your head.
“Not enough.” You answered, and she raised a brow.
“Not my question, now answer it.” She said, and you took a deep breath in, thinking. You knew the number, yet it felt far too small.
“Throughout my entire career? Six thousand, four hundred and twelve.” You answered, and for the first time, Larissa’s eyes snapped to you in utter shock. That was a lot. That was over six thousand lives you had saved, six thousand shield ten who had a chance, because of you. Her heart nearly stopped. “Why? I’ve lost countless more, I don’t see the point in you coming to ask me that?” You breathed, and the spirit said nothing, a small smile cracking on her face, one that made you narrow your brows in curiosity.
“And how many of them shifters?” She asked you, and you sighed deeply, thinking for a moment.
“Two thousand, three hundred, and twenty six.” You responded, and this time the woman smiled proudly as Larissa’s grip on you turned into a vice.
“To prove a point.” The spirit said, and you shook your head in confusion. She just smirked, nodding to Larissa, and for the first time this evening your eyes truly met hers. Your head was still spinning, the opium flooding your mind and slowing your every reaction and function, yet when you saw her hydrangea blue eyes filled with tears you wanted to forgive her. You wanted to give into her. You wanted to wrap her up and hold her until the tears stopped, until they never came again. She had sunk the the ground next to you, kneeling next to the chair so your faces were nearly touching. You wanted to kiss her. Even now, with your world painted in hues of grey, you wanted her blue. “Do you know the relation?” The spirit asked, and you narrowed your eyes a little more as you looked at her, taking a deep breath to try to calm yourself after being so close to Larissa. They had the same eyes, similar hair, but they weren’t close enough to be mother and daughter.
“An aunt, perhaps? Perhaps farther…” you trailed, and she nodded happily, Larissa’s smile splitting her face. It made you so happy to make the woman smile, even if you didn’t know who she was to you.
“I am her aunt, yes. She can see me, you said, can she hear?” She asked, and you nodded. The spirit seemed to look around, almost sensing what was around her, not truly seeing. She focused on various things until she finally found her.
Larissa’s heart stopped as her aunt stared at her for the first time since she was eleven. She cried. She truly cried. Tears sprang forth, she wanted to reach for the woman, to be wrapped up in her arms again. Her aunt Victoria was looking at her again, and she felt like a child. She felt like the scared child who would run up to her whenever she visited, or would whisk her away from her cruel parents whenever she could.
“I am sorry, my precious girl,” the spirit breathed. “I tried so hard to find you, by the time I did, I- I’m sorry I left you.” She whispered, and Larissa sobbed, just shaking your head.
“I love you,” was all she said in response, and tears began to spring from the spirit’s eyes as well, she wiped them away before looking at you once more.
“Doctor Florere, Angel Medic.” She smirked, and you shook your head, tensing at the name. “No no, it was our girls that gave you that title, you will cary it.” She said, and your jaw dropped as your heart nearly stopped. Your girls, there were only a few people that could be. Someone who had worked close with you, someone you had shared everything with, someone who had been around long enough to see you get that call sign. Someone who wasn’t around anymore. There were only three people that could be, and though you would have to confirm it, only one was a shapeshifter.
“Wait- Please-“ you rasped, and the spirit just shook her head.
“Take care of my girl, Ophelia. I trained you to take care of all of them, but take care of my girl,”
She whispered, and she was gone. You gasped out as you let go of both women’s hands, your entire body shaking.
Larissa’s tears flowed and flowed as she looked at the spot where her aunt just stood, not even noticing as you and Sugar said your goodbyes. She sat on the floor, her legs bent to the side and leaning against the chair. She didn’t move, just stared in complete shock.
Her aunt Victoria, the only woman who had shown her any kindness as a child, the only person, and you knew her. You didn’t know that face, her natural state, as you would call it, but you knew her somehow.
She didn’t feel you rise, but she did see as you began to stumble your way to the bathroom. You were weak on your legs, and the pipe still hung from your hands. You would stop and stare out the window occasionally, almost as if you were seeing another spirit. Your body shook from the last one, as if it meant more to you than you would say. When your legs failed you again she finally moved, springing up and grabbing you, helping you up as your eyes seemed to roll about lazily.
“Ophelia, you- this is dangerous!” She hissed, still quiet in the hours of the early morning. You shook your head, pulling away from her as you went to the bathroom, turning on the shower. She gasped, following you in quickly in an attempt to stop you from potentially drowning yourself, only to freeze as she saw you.
You had taken the top off, your bra still on. Sugar must have helped you take off the boots earlier. You never wore them in the room. The pants were off too, and you were just looking at your body in the mirror, tears streaming from your far away eyes. You were covered in dried blood. Larissa nearly felt sick. It must have soaked through your clothes, staining nearly every inch of your skin. She just gaped at you as you stood.
“Go.” You whispered, and she looked at you suddenly.
“Ophelia, I- I want to help you,” she shook, and you just glared at yourself in the mirror as the tears began to come even faster.
“Just go, Larissa. I’ve given far too much today to deal with a woman who looks at me and only sees my sister.” You breathed, flicking your hand and slamming the door closed on her with a vine. She stared in shock for a moment. And then she left.
Notes:
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Chapter 15: Turned Away
Summary:
Larissa realizes exactly how much of your warmth was once hers, Unfortunately she only realizes this once it is taken away. You do your very best to ignore the woman, but even you can’t hold out forever when her gestures tell you exactly what she’s thinking.
WARNING: Mentioned Child abuse/menstruation
Notes:
Hello darlings! This one was a blast to write, I do love getting to write more of teacher Ophelia, I hope you all enjoy her just as much!
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
Wednesday woke up with you sitting at the table in your room, working on your laptop. It had been a few days since you returned, but still she sighed in relief, you were there, that’s what mattered.
“What are you working on?” She asked you, and you hummed, not looking up. You must have known she was awake before she spoke then, you had a knack for that, especially with her. She could normally do it with you too, something her mother did not particularly enjoy.
“A book.” You muttered, and she nodded.
“What is this one about?” She asked you, and you flipped through pages of the various journals you had out until you found what you wanted.
“Rare plants.” You answered absentmindedly. The girl rolled her eyes.
“Specifically?” She asked you, and you chuckled.
“The correlation between the rarer an outcast ability and related plants in nature.” You answered, and she nodded. Most of the things you researched were interesting to her, something she enjoyed. This was no exception. It did raise a question however.
“If you work at the hospital, why do you write the books? And teach, for that matter.” Wednesday asked, and you hummed, still mostly focusing on whatever you were writing.
“Money, mostly.” You hummed, “That and teaching at college levels gives me a cover when I’m moving all over the globe on a regular basis.” You chuckled, before furrowing your brows and picking out the journal you needed. “But it’s mostly for money, the hospital doesn’t make much, it essentially runs from various state funding from different countries and a few benefactors. I put a good bit of money in, but I still have my own income.” You answered, and Wednesday nodded as she mulled it over.
“Can I spend the day with you?” She asked, and you smiled, still not looking up from your work.
“Of course, but I’m likely going to be working on this or fielding calls.” You said, and she nodded.
“Does mother know you’re awake?” She asked after a moment, seemingly she hadn’t thought of that yet, and you nodded.
“I texted her.” You replied, and the girl actually laughed. That sound had you turning in your chair and looking to her.
“You texted her that you’re alive?” Your niece chuckled, and you shrugged.
“Well I was tired, I didn’t want to deal with her.” You said, and the girl gave you a real smile.
“Picnic?” She asked you, and you scoffed, rolling your eyes. She knew you would never say no to that, the answer was yes as soon as she proposed the idea.
“Get dressed.” You sighed, and she nodded. She ran off to her room, leaving enough time for you to quickly pull on a turtleneck, floor length skirt, and your boots. You added a sweater on top, the cropped end of it hitting just above your waistline, still showing your figure while keeping you completely covered. You were grabbing your gloves and a satchel when a knock rang on your door.
You smiled, walking over and opening it in a hurry. You may be the adult in the situation, but there was always a touch of childlike joy involved on days like this. That smile quickly dropped, however, when you were greeted by an impeccably dressed Miss Weems, and not your niece.
“Ophelia,” she began, and you just stared ahead. You wouldn’t even meet her eyes.
“Can I help you, Miss Weems?” You asked the woman. She froze. That was cold. Less than a few days ago you were underneath her panting her name and now she was ‘Miss Weems’ again. It hurt. She knew it hurt. She could feel the guilt flooding her. You wouldn’t even look at her, you just looked through her, staring at the wall behind her.
“Ophelia, please, talk to me.” She swallowed, but still you wouldn’t look up, your eyes fixed straight ahead.
“I am, Miss Weems, however if this is not a school matter I’m afraid that I do have something scheduled with my niece.” You said calmly. Her heart sank. You were icing her out. She couldn’t get in. The warmth from you, the warmth that was always there, she couldn’t feel it now. Now she just looked down at you, internally begging you to meet her eyes, to look at her, to realize how sorry she was.
Your phone rang, and you sighed, picking it up and answering the phone politely before your eyes went wide as you were flooded with a gushing voice from the other side. Larissa cringed as she recognized the tone of an annoyed superior, yet it would be odd, considering everyone she knew of had addressed you as such in terms of your old job. You rolled your eyes, sighing deeply as a false smile plastered it’s way onto your face.
“Yes, Mr. Jones, it’s a pleasure, but allow me to reiterate, my expected stipend for a book is the same as it was last time, and the time before that, I haven’t published for less under any other company, and my revenue speaks for itself.” You sighed, already annoyed by being asked. The man seemed to babble on regardless, fully ignoring you. You gave a chuckle that made Larissa shiver as your eyes narrowed at a point on the wall. “You are correct, I do occasionally work for free at various universities, when they serve a particularly important cause, but do I need to remind you of my going rate for a semester?” You asked, and Larissa’s brows furrowed. She didn’t know how much you costed, actually, you had accepted Nevermore’s contract for a substitute without even blinking, despite the fact that she knew it was lower than she wanted to offer. “Oh, oh no no no, you can listen to me, sir ,” you spat. “I can go to any publishing company I wish, I don’t care that you’re the CEO, or what you do, you see me as a commodity, I see you as a means to an end, so let’s get this straight, you want my book, I don’t go for anything less than three million.” You smiled, not even noticing as Larissa’s jaw dropped. So yes, you did make money, a lot of money. “Not to mention my royalty, but we can discuss that after you remember how much my last book made, have a good day.” You clipped, hanging up the phone and rolling your eyes.
You were about to say something, anything. Anything would have meant the world to Larissa, it would have meant she had a chance, yet your words never came, instead, another ringing sound cut you off, only it wasn’t the phone in your hand.
“Ophelia, are you-“ Larissa began, but you just groaned, pulling out another phone and answering it quickly.
“Yes?” You hummed, and your eyes went wide for a moment, worry betraying you. Larissa immediately stepped forward, pushing you back into your room and shutting the door. You gaped up at her, bust she just shook her head, nodding to the phone, and you swallowed as she realized what she was doing. She knew you were worried, and she knew when you were worried it was often confidential. She was protecting you, you realized, and for just a moment you wanted to thank her for it.
Then the voice on the other side of the phone started up again, and you swallowed, focusing on what you were hearing.
“Miss- miss Ophelia, I- I’m bleeding and I don’t know what’s wrong and it won’t stop and- and I can’t ask any of the men and- and it’s- you- you’re the safe one- and I didn’t know who else to call I just-“ the young voice was panicking, and you immediately hushed her, your voice dropping to a calm and soothing tone that had Larissa’s heart fluttering with how caring you could be.
“Hey, hey it’s alright, slow down, take a deep breath for me, sweetheart.” You soothed, and the girl on the other end of the phone took a shaky breath. “Ok, where is the bleeding coming from?” You asked her, already having an idea of what this was. It wasn’t uncommon for it to happen to girls who had been in “treatment facilities” where they were terribly abused. Extended starvation was known to delay puberty if they went in long enough.
“It’s- its coming from my- from between my legs,” She stuttered, and you hushed her again.
“Alright, there’s no need to worry, dear, it’s completely normal, it’s, you’re having a menstrul cycle dear, remember, it would have been something they told you about in your first week or so?” You said soothingly, and Larissa’s eyes went wide. You were dealing with that? She knew you dealt with getting children out, but you really did care for them after, enough that one of them was comfortable enough to come to you.
“Oh,” the girl breathed, and you hummed.
“Is any of the female staff there? Dr. Moss maybe? Or if Mirella is home for the weekend I’m sure she will help you.” You answered, and the girl thought for a moment.
“Yeah- I- I think Miss Mierella is home. She won’t, mind, will she?” She asked, and you hurried to assure the girl.
“No, no, of course not! And even if she isn’t, all of the staff know how to deal with it, and most of the older girls.” You answered, and she hummed nervously.
“I’m sorry for bothering you with something silly,” she said, and you immediately shook your head, not that she could see it.
“No! It’s not silly, it’s perfectly understandable, and I am happy you called, Serena.” You said softly, and the girl exhaled in releif. “You know, Jenkins had to help me with my first one, the only woman back in those days was Georgiana, and she was out, so it was just Jenkins and I.” You hummed with a smile, and the girl chuckled, making the grin split your face in releif.
“Jenkins!” The girl laughed, and you nodded, chuckling at the memory.
“Yep, Jenkins. Imagine Jenkins trying to show me, at eighteen mind you, given how underweight I was, how to use a tampon. It was a nightmare.” You laughed, and Larissa’s face flushed at the idea. This felt too personal, you were talking about your, well, growing up, and it felt far too personal.
“Thank you, Miss Ophelia.” The girl said, as she calmed down, and you chuckled.
“Any time, Serena, and you can call again if you need, alright?” You asked. The girl hummed a few times before hanging up, and you sighed, running a hand through your hair.
A strand fell back in your face and Larissa almost instinctively moved to brush it away, making you jerk back from her, your eyes snapping to her own as you swallowed down a flush. She didn’t get to touch you, not again, not after last time. She froze, staring at you in a complete panic as she realized what she had done.
“I, Im sorry, I didn’t mean to-“ she began, but you just shook your head, taking a deep breath as you walked back to the door, forcing the woman to chase after you. “Ophelia, please- I- I need to talk to you, we can, please, please let me fix this, I-“ she grabbed your covered wrist in an attempt to get your attention, causing you to gasp and slam her back against the now closed door, your eyes going borderline feral as you pinned her.
“Don’t you EVER lay a hand on me without my explicit-“ you yelled, your hands pinning her to the door by her biceps. You gasped as you realized what you were doing, immediately backing up and raising your arms in surrender. “I- I’m so sorry, oh my god,” you breathed, and her eyes widened.
“It’s- its alright, you didn’t hurt me, but-“ she stammered, and you just shook your head in utter horror at your action.
“No, no it is not alright, and I don’t know what on earth is is about you that makes me so goddamn sensitive to everything- for Fuck’sake!” You hissed, your hand coming to your head as you covered your eyes in exhaustion. “I’m sorry,” you breathed again, and when you finally looked up at her, the pain in your eyes was so clear it took her breath away.
“Ophelia, I-“ she began again, her voice desperate and her eyes betraying the shame she felt. Only for a voice down the hall to cut her off.
“Miss Ophelia, Wednesday said I could come too!” You heard Enid yell from down the hall. Larissa could see the moment you let it flow from you again, the smile that lit up your face, the relaxing of your posture, the air that seemed to float about you instead of being forced or the static. It was almost painful to watch, knowing she once had that. That once was given to her too.
“Perfect!” You called back, and Enid bounced in excitement. You turned back to Larissa, looking her in the eyes again. You were hurt, she knew that, you were incredibly hurt. There was exhaustion around the coroners of your eyes, the grey storm slightly muted, despite the smile you had. The one that faltered when you finally looked at her. “Did you need something?” You asked her, and she shook her head, biting back the tears that were threatening to come.
“No.” She whispered, and you were gone.
You shoved it down, forcing the urge to just fall into her right then and there away as you hurried down the hall, catching up with your niece and her best friend. You followed them to the dining hall, filling the satchel with a plethora of sandwiches, fruit, and baked goods. You chuckled a bit as the girls loaded it up as you held it open, you couldn’t forget about her, but you could at the very least distract yourself for a bit.
You led the girls to the conservatory, the tables were put away at the moment, so it was essentially a giant greenhouse with an open space in the middle. You formed a thick layer moss, laying out blankets on the ground, placing the satchel in the middle. Wednesday sat with Enid, diving in, as you laid down, opening your laptop and journals you had brought in the satchel and resuming your writing.
“What are you working on Miss Ophelia?” Enid asked you, and again you hummed.
“Rare plants.” You answered succinctly, and your niece rolled her eyes.
“She’s writing a book about how the rarer an outcast ability is, the less amount of plants there are that impact it.” The girl deadpanned, and you hummed, popping some berries into your mouth as you wrote, pouring over your various journals.
“Well said, however correlation-“
“does not equal causation.” Your niece finished for you, and you smirked.
“God, I’m a good teacher.” You smiled, and you ducked as a blueberry was thrown at your head, rolling and landing a few feet away. You didn’t pay much attention to it, simply working away quietly.
“Oh! You have a lot of people wishing you well and saying they hope you get better soon!” Enid said, and you raised a brow.
“What?” You asked her, and she pulled out her phone.
“On my blog! I wrote about you, well, I said you were under the weather, Wednesday said I shouldn’t tell anyone what had really happened.” She said, and you nodded.
“Probably a good idea.” You murmured, and both girls seemed to agree.
“Anyway, everyone in the school was talking about how they hope you get better soon, and that you come back to class, you’re really popular.” The blonde said excitedly.
“Am I now?” You asked, a hint of a laugh in your voice, and she nodded.
“Only like, the highest on the polls ever!” She said, and you finally looked away from your laptop, raising your brows at the girl.
“The polls?” You asked, and she nodded.
“Yeah, so there’s this thing where students can vote for their favorite teacher at the moment, it changes all the time, but you’ve been on top pretty much since you got here!” She said, and you chuckled a bit.
“Huh,” you hummed, and she nodded.
“I mean, you did go down a bit after the case study assignment, but in general you’ve stayed on top.” She said, and you chuckled.
“What’s wrong with the case study assignment, you get to pick any plant and design any project you want based on any article you can find about the plant.” You asked. “It’s completely free reign.” You added. Enid cringed.
“Well yeah, it’s cool, but some people are a bit, confused…” she muttered. You hummed, thinking for a moment, a look of disappointment on your face. “Professor!” She added with a squeak, and you waved her off.
“Oh that’s fine, I don’t care about that.” You muttered. “Well they could have asked for help.” You shrugged, and Enid furrowed her brows.
“What?” She asked, and you looked at her perplexed.
“Just ask for help? My email is given to all of you, I have office hours, you can stop by.” You said. The girl just shrugged.
“Yeah, well no one wanted you to think that they’re dumb.” She said, and you looked at her like she had lost her mind.
“Asking questions isn’t dumb, it’s the basis of learning.” You said, and she shrugged.
“Yeah, Bianca almost cried.” She said, and you furrowed your brows.
“She nearly cried ! Oh my god! Am I really that unapproachable?” You panicked, and your niece stared at you blankly.
“Don’t you have a Nobel prize?” She asked you, and you waved her off.
“Don’t be silly.” You stared back, but the dark haired girl just shrugged.
“You also don’t touch, and the gloves, it can throw people off.” She said, and you nodded.
“Well yes, I know that.” You hummed. “Enid, would you do me a favor dear?” You asked, and the girl beamed.
“I get to be ‘dear’ too!” She squeaked, and you chuckled.
“Outside of class, sure. Any friend of Wednesday’s might as well be a saint in my book.” You smirked. The braided girl scoffed.
“You’re rude.” She said, and your smirk just widened.
“But I’m ri~ight!” You sing-songed, before ducking from another blueberry hurled at your head. “Regardless, would you post something to the effect that I’m hosting a bring your own lunch picnic open to all students for fun and any questions they may have, class related or not.” You asked, and the girl lit up with excitement. “If it’s ok with you and Wednesday, of course.” You added, and she nodded excitedly, looking to her friend.
“You’re going to ruin this quiet day with a swarm of bloodthirsty students who would rather try to figure out if you’re actually a lesbian than anything academic.” She sighed, and you smiled at her, batting your lashes. “Fine.” She deadpanned, and Enid squeaked in excitement.
“Yay! This is going to be so fun!” She buzzed, and Wednesday groaned.
“I despise you both.” She said, and you smiled.
“Love you too.” You replied, setting back to your work.
Enid sent out the message, and the three of you ate and worked quietly for a bit. Wednesday was re-reading The Prince, occasionally testing your Italian, and Enid was knitting a snood, much to your amusement and Wednesday’s horror. A few minutes later, you heard a knock at the doorframe, and looked up from where you were laying spread out on the ground.
“Come in Miss Barklay.” You smiled, and Enid groaned.
“You owe Thing a manicure.” Wednesday smirked, and Enid glared at her.
“I hope you’re not teasing your fellow classmates, Miss Addams.” You side-eyed your niece, and she glared at you.
“ Miss Addams .” She mocked, and you scoffed at the young girl.
“Come on in Bianca, have a seat, eat, ask me anything you want if you’d like.” You hummed. The girl nodded, trying to remain calm.
“Thank you, Dr. Florere.” She nodded quickly, and Wednesday smirked. You didn’t even have to look at the girl, maintaining a gentle smile with Bianca as you kicked Wednesday, who stared at you in annoyance.
“I could file a complaint of abuse.” She said, and you nodded, smiling and not even bothering to look up to return the threat.
“And I could tell your mother there’s-“
“Truce!” She shouted, and you chuckled as you went back to working.
“You’re welcome to just sit and eat if you like, Miss Barkley, but I’ve heard that some students are a little confused by the case study assignment, and I’d be happy to clear anything up if you need. I love when students ask questions.” You added, already sending Enid a text on your ‘civilian’ phone to smack Wednesday for you if she made a face. The girl furrowed her brows at the notification.
“Who is- OH MY GOD I HAVE A FAMOUS PERSON’S PHONE NUMBER!” She yelled, and you sighed.
“Instant regret.” You muttered, and Wednesday smirked.
“Anyways, please ask if there is anything, I thought you all had done similar assignments before.” You said to Bianca. The girl nodded, just sitting for a bit. A few minutes later a young boy walked in, you had seen him around Wednesday before, he was head of the bee-keeping club, you remembered. Eugene, you beleived.
“Hey Miss O!” He yelled, rushing in with a basket.
“Well hello there.” You smiled, that was a new one.
“Can I call you Miss O? Oh I feel bad now, I should have asked, that was inappropriate.” He worried, and you laughed.
“You can call me whatever you like as long as it’s not offensive and vaguely related to my name.” You chuckled, and he nodded, seemingly thinking this over.
“Well, I was wondering, so I’m head of the Hummers, that’s our bee-keeping club, and I know that there are many plants that pollinators, such as bees, prefer, but I’m having trouble getting them to grow and I was wondering if maybe you would have any advice, considering you’re all about plants and all!” He rushed. You bit back a chuckle as the boy went on animatedly. “I’m all about bees! Insects in general really, but bees are my favorite, they’re amazing! Did you know they live in a matriarchy! Like a female monarchy! But the queen is also the mom for almost everyone! It’s amazing! And they can travel for miles and miles to reach different types of flowers, and their honey can even taste different depending on the type of flowers they consume! Isn’t that incredible!” He asked you, and you smiled up at him front he ground, nodding.
“It absolutely is.” You smiled, and he beamed.
“Oh, I brought you some honey by the way!” He added, thrusting the jar towards you. You chuckled, standing up and brushing off your skirt.
“Well thank you, I appreciate that. I’ll have to trade you some of the tea I make sometime.” You smiled, and his eyes went wide.
“You make your own tea?” He asked you, and you nodded.
“Certainly, I dry the herbs myself and everything. All hand-grown.” You joked with a little wiggle of your fingers, and his eyes went wide in amazement as Wednesday rolled her eyes at your pun.
“That’s so cool!!!!” He yelled, and you laughed, your heart blooming a bit. It was always nice when someone thought your abilities were a good thing. Especially nice when it was a child who thought that way. It gave you hope. “Could I see?” He asked, and you raised your brows.
“You want to see me grow something?” You asked, and he nodded excitedly.
“Yeah, I mean, I’ve never met someone who could do that before.” He said, and you smiled genuinely, nodding a bit as you hid the genuine shock at being asked.
“Eugene, you can’t just ask her to grow something! Do you have any idea how big of a deal she is! That’s like asking Einstein to show you how to do your math homework, you can’t just demand she do something!” Bianca snapped, and you turned to the girl, raising your brows. She went wide eyed, panicking. “I mean, he doesn’t mean to bother you, it would be disrespectful, wouldn’t it? A waste? I’m sure you have better things to do than just show him that you can grow some chamomile.” She swallowed, and you smiled softly.
So that’s what it was.
She thought you had better things to do, that she would bother you. It broke your heart that she was right, in a way. You shouldn’t be here, you should be back at the hospital working, but for now, that wasn’t an option.
“No, I don’t, actually.” You smiled easily. “I’m here to teach, I love teaching, and I would be honored to show any of you anything you asked to see or to help you with anything.” You smiled softly. “I would consider it the perfect use of my time here.” You said, and her eyes went wide.
“ Oh ,” she breathed, and you nodded.
“I’m just a person, Miss Barkley, I’m actually probably more boring than most of you.” You chuckled, and you could see a bit of a smile crack through.
“That’s not true.” Wednesday said from the floor, and you glared at her.
“Oh really now?” You asked the girl, who was too busy reading to notice the challenge in your voice.
“You’re quiet around people you don’t know, but you’re not boring.” She said, and you smirked.
“Quiet?” You led her on, looking up and raising one of your hands, beckoning a vine from the ceiling. Bianca’s eyes went wide. You wouldn’t.
“Well, people don’t talk to you, because you’re odd, but you don’t try to talk to them either.” Wednesday continued, and you hummed, calling the vine to hover right above her ankles, which were currently crossed in the air as she later on her stomach, reading.
“I see.” You said. “And this is coming from the girl who communicates almost exclusively through glances.” You said, and she nodded.
“The difference being I don’t want people to talk to me- AH!” She yelled as the vine snatched her, dangling her upside-down in the air. She sighed, relaxing and just hanging there, giving you a death stare to end all death stares. “I am going to end you.” She sighed, and you cackled, sitting her down on the ground and laughing your ass off.
“Bloody Hell, that was fucking priceless!” You wheezed, setting her down.
“You’re teaching minors.” The girl reminded you and you cringed.
“Shit, no cursing- sorry! Fuck!” You yelled, before just sighing and burying your head in your gloves hands. “Oh, I’m so gonna get fired.” You breathed, and Enid giggled.
“At least it’s only us.” She said, and you hummed, nodding your head from side to side.
“True, hopefully four of my most engaging students won’t rat me out for cursing.” You smiled, and Bianca perked up as you sat back down again, going back to working.
You noticed. You had noticed that she always raised her hand, that she turned in every assignment ahead of time, that she always knew the answer. The problem was, now, for the first time on one of your assignments, she wasn’t positive. She’s rather die than let her hero give her a bad grade, you would think she was stupid, that she didn’t know anything. She swallowed, trying to force down the panic. Enid walked up to her, and the girl raised her brow at the glittery aura that invaded her space.
“Ask her.” Enid whispered, and Bianca glared at her.
“I can’t just ask her! She’ll know I don’t know the answer if I ask her!” She whispered back through gritted teeth. Wednesday smirked as she looked at you. Little to Bianca’s knowledge, you happened to have freakish hearing. That one wasn’t even related to your abilities, it was just the consequence of growing up listening to find out if someone else was coming for you. You gave away nothing, just focusing on the work you were doing, typing away through your leather gloves.
“Just ask! She’s not gonna think anything! She told me she likes when students ask things!” The blonde hissed, and Bianca glared.
“Of course she told you that! You’re her niece’s best friend, you can do no wrong! Wednesday hated me for an entire semester! She still looks like she wants to kill me every time I best her fencing!” She hissed, and then you snorted, unable to not laugh.
“I actually think that’s pretty badass, I fully vote for beating Morticia’s offspring at fencing, she’s terrible.” You remarked, and Bianca’s face dropped.
“You- heard that.” She said, and you nodded, still not looking up.
“Mhm.” You hummed, and she thought she was going to pass out.
“It’s unfair of you to route against me because I’m my mother’s daughter.” Wednesday glared, and you smiled, still not looking up.
“Not my fault you fence like her, I’ve tried to teach you.” You smirked, and she rolled her eyes.
“You nearly threw me in a stream.” She deadpanned, and you shrugged.
“You were off your leg, you have to learn how to balance before you can learn how to balance with a sword.” You replied, and yet again you ducked as another blueberry was thrown.
“I’m not picking those up.” You said, and Wednesday sighed.
“Can you grow me more?” She asked, and you scoffed.
“No.” You answered, and Bianca furrowed her brows.
“I thought you could grow any plant life, fruit and berries included.” She muttered, and you looked up at her from the ground, raising a brow. “Well, that’s just what it said in Peter Browne’s book about you, you know, the biography, not that I’ve read a biography about you or anything.” The girl rushed, closing her eyes in her own mortification at herself, and you chuckled.
“I can grow them, yes, I just refuse to give my niece any more ammunition. Also Peter Browne hates me, so feel free to keep that in mind next time you’re picking out books.” You smiled. Bianca furrowed her brows, finally sitting, seeming to become a little more comfortable.
“Why would he hate you?” She asked, and you shrugged.
“We were classmates in grad school, but I went independent, he joined the guild, I became successful quickly for my own projects, he was stuck pushing papers. Just different paths.” You sighed, and she nodded. You began with nothing, no family, barely able to sit through classes in the beginning, yet you were always brilliant, and you were a hard worker. You were also significantly less amicable than Peter, and him watching you get away with things because of your genius and your ability to move from place to place without ever seeming to form any real attatchments irked him to no end.
“He’s good though, isn’t he? I’ve read his book on the learning theory of plants, it’s pretty interesting.” She said, and you nodded.
“Oh, he’s great, he was just bitter, unfortunately.” You said, and she looked to you confused.
“Was?” She asked, and you nodded, still looking at your laptop.
“Yeah, we just er, ran into each other recently, I’m hoping we turn over a new leaf. We used to be pretty close, his oldest daughter’s middle name is Ophelia, actually.” You hummed, your eyes saddening for a moment. The two of you had been close. Very close. He was perhaps once the closest thing you had to a friend outside of the hospital. You had spent dinners with him and his wife, later his family quite often back then. You had studied with him for countless hours before exams back in the day.
“I named my cat Ophelia after you when I was a kid.” Bianca muttered absentmindedly, before sighing deeply, dropping her head in embarrassment.
“Oh my god, I’m going to die.” She breathed, and you chuckled.
“I’m honored,” you laughed, you were aware she wasn’t the first, however this was the first time someone you didn’t know personally had done it, at least to your knowledge. “What kind of cat?” You asked, and she stared at you in disbelief.
“You don’t think that’s creepy?” She asked, and you shrugged.
“Depends, what kind of cat?” You asked again, going back to your work.
“Russian blue…” she trailed, and you smiled, nodding.
“Nice.” You said, and she laughed a little.
“Was there a wrong answer?” She asked you, and you nodded.
“Oh absolutely, Sphynx.” You said, and she chuckled. “You pull off buzzed hair incredibly well, I, do not.” You cringed, and Wednesday smirked.
“Was that a choice you made?” The braided menace snarked, and you rolled your eyes, ignoring her. It wasn’t, but having your head shaved regularly was a part of Newflight’s protocol, meaning you certainly had experience with it.
“Regardless, what was I doing? Tea!” You remembered. “What’s your favorite herbal tea, Eugene?” You asked him, and he looked at you with giant eyes behind his glasses.
“Really?” He asked you, and you nodded.
“Mhm,” you hummed, and he thought a second.
“Probably just chamomile.” He said, and you nodded.
“Well I shall bring some down to the Hummer’s shed for you when I drop by to help with those plants.” You smiled, and he beamed.
“You don’t- you don’t mind doing things like that?” Bianca asked, and you shrugged.
“I love plants, I love growing things, I love the life it creates.” You hummed, searching through a journal. “You can ask Wednesday, I grow things constantly, I don’t mind being asked, I quite like that I have something to give to people, actually.” You smiled, and she nodded at you in amazement.
She stared for a moment at the leather bound journals surrounding you, the countless pages you had recorded and written. Some even discovered, she knew.
“Are- are those your field journals?” She asked you, and you nodded.
“Mhm, not all of them obviously, but the ones I need at the moment.” You said, only half concentrating on the girl. “You’re welcome to read one if you’d like something to look at.” You said offhandedly, and her jaw nearly hit the floor.
“Are you serious?” She asked you, and you looked up at her from where you lay on the ground. She gawked when you nodded, disbelief written all over her face. You nearly laughed, but contained yourself to just a smile.
“Of course, go ahead, take this one.” You said, picking one you had already looked through up and handing to to her. She took it as if it was a sacred relic, staring at it in wonder.
“Holy shit I’m holding one of Ophelia Florere’s field journals.” She whispered, and you chuckled.
“That’s a good one too, you’re welcome to borrow them any time, just come ask.” You smiled, and she nodded, immediately beginning to pour over the pages you had given her.
A few moments later two boys rushed in, Ajax and Xavier, you believed. From what little you had observed, the boys were interested in Enid and Wednesday, respectively.
“Is it true we’re allowed to ask you questions?” Xavier asked, and you raised a brow.
“I said you could on the first day, of course you can.” You said, and he nodded.
“Oh thank god.” He breathed, and you chuckled.
“Hit me, gentleman.” You smiled, looking up from your laptop.
“Ok, so the case study project, what?” Ajax said, and you nodded.
“Fair enough.” You muttered, and pulled up the document on your laptop to look over it. “So you’re going to find an article about a plant, any plant, and it’s effect on any type of outcast or normie, your choice.” You explained. “Then, you are going to come up with three research questions related to what more you would like to learn based on the interaction in this one specific case.” You continued. Ajax nodded slowly, and Xavier made a face that you assumed was intended to look pensive, but instead looked more constipated. You sighed, continuing your explanation. “Ok, so if I chose, say, cannabis, and I found an article where a normie took cannabis, thought he could fly, and then jumped off a building, I would maybe consider questions like ‘do normies normally feel like they have outcast abilities when taking cannabis?’ Or, ‘do normies hallucinate when taking cannabis, leading to dangerous actions?’ Or something like that.” You said, and this time both boys looked like they might have had a part of an idea.
“Did you just say ‘take cannabis’?” Wednesday said, and you stared at her with a deadpan face.
“I am a professor, I have never partaken in any illegal activities, certainly not ones that would impact my thinking.” You said sarcastically, and even Enid chuckled.
“So you’re like, cool?” Ajax asked you, and you raised a brow. You were actually a massive nerd who happened to break into places and perform emergency experimental medical procedures, but ‘cool’ was not exactly something you had ever considered yourself. At least not when not trying to actively mortify your niece.
“Sorry, that was rude.” He said, and you shrugged.
“Nah man, I’m totally far out.” You replied, in your best hippie impersonation, causing Enid to burst out laughing. Even the boys gave you a small smile at that one.
“Real question though, if we’re allowed to ask you anything,” Ajax began, and you nodded. “So the growing plants out of your hands thing, could you grow weed?” He asked you.
You tried not to laugh as you stared at him. The insolence of teenage boys would never cease to amaze you.
“Now because I would like to keep my job here for the time being, I’m going to just stick with, I can grow anything .” You said, very slowly, and he nodded, a little smirk on his face.
“Sick.” He said, before settling into a corner with Xavier, the two of them going over their project ideas together. You liked this. You liked the young minds around you, figuring out how things would work.
“Hey, do we have to answer the questions?” Xavier asked you, and you swallowed down another piece of fruit. “Not in this paper, I only want like 2-ish pages double spaced, but potentially in the future.” You called back, and he nodded before returning to his work. You smiled, doing the same.
“Dr. Ophelia?” Bianca asked, and you hummed, smiling at the girl’s insistence on using your degree title. “Could I write about something I have personal experience with?” She asked, and you looked up from your laptop with an absolutely insane smile on your face. Wednesday recognized the look instantly and stared at you with a thuroughly unamused look on her face.
“Please no.” Wednesday sighed, already tired of this.
“Ladies, Gentleman, and those outside of and in between those perimeters!” You hollered, standing up.
“Oh god.” Wednesday groaned, and you whirled around, holding up an imaginary champagne glass. “
It is on this momentous occasion that I am truly honored to present the following award to my most esteemed student!” You yelled, prompting Enid to look at you like you had lost your mind while Wednesday looked like she wanted to die more than usual. “It is the very basis of science, of my work in particular, that we must experience that which we aim to understand, and as I stand here before you, years into my own career, that I am once again humbled by a question uttered through my years by both myself, and the generations of students before me.” You continued, prompting Wednesday to groan.
“Have you ever actually given this speech, or is this one you just do while teaching?” She asked you, and you took off one of your gloves, all eyes immediately snapping to your hand. You held it aloft, making sure you were a good few feet from the students for doing measure, despite the fact that you were barely doing anything. Regardless, you wouldn’t have done it without the distance.
Bianca went wide eyed as she looked at the blackened fingers, amazed as you wiggled them and called forth a small tiger lily, plucking it from your hand and slipping your glove back on quickly. She marveled at it, like she had just witnessed the most amazing thing she had ever seen. You held it aloft, delivering your speech to it as Enid practically rolled around laughing, Eugene much the same, the boys in the corner looking like they were attempting to cover up their snickers, and Wednesday glared at you murderously.
“Personal experience, is, in essence, the drive behind so much of my work, it is with this small token of appreciation that I award Miss Bianca Barclay with the ‘best question ever’ award!” You triumphed, bowing dramatically and handing Bianca the flower. She took it, wide eyed and clearly trying not to freak out. “Thank you all for attending such a prestigious and thrilling event, I hope you too are someday inspired to use your own personal experience in your work!” You finished, and Enid clapped from the ground as she laughed, Wednesday throwing another blueberry at your head.
You laughed as you sat again, laying on the moss meadow you had created in the slightly overcast midday, happy to just work or provide any answers. You began typing again as if nothing had happened, leading to some very, very confused students.
“That’s ‘aunt Ophelia’ for ‘yes’.” Wednesday sighed, and you nodded, continuing to work. Bianca nodded dumbly, trying not to squeal as she looked at her flower.
Another few students trickled in as the day went on, eventually small groups coming in until you had nearly three classes worth in the greenhouse, all talking over various things, occasionally approaching you while you worked, some messing with various plants in the greenhouse, others just reading or working in the area. Your heart still felt heavy, but being surrounded by bright young minds lifted the weight a little.
…
Larissa had noticed that the school was quieter than normal, looking out into the courtyard to see almost no one. She swallowed, perfect. She was at her wit’s end, her heart heavy with the thought of you as guilt threatened to shroud her entire being, and now the students were up to something.
She had been teaching and then in administration long enough to know that quiet meant trouble.
She sighed, smacking down her laptop and wiping the tears from her eyes. She couldn’t sit in this forever, she couldn’t dwell, she had to move on, be in control. Always in control, especially if her own emotions. She stormed out of her office, marching through the halls in an attempt to figure out where exactly such a large portion of the student body had disappeared. Exiting out into the courtyard looking for any sign of anyone is when she finally paused.
Then she heard it.
Music was playing somewhere. She listened for a moment before realizing that there was only one building it could have been coming from. The very one she wanted to avoid. She stormed towards the greenhouse. Of course, if there was trouble it would start with Wednesday Addams, which meant it would extend to you.
What she found, however, when she opened the doors to the conservatory, was the farthest thing from what she expected.
The entire room was full of students, all laying on a rolling moss green you must have constructed. There was a moment of silence before the song started again, her jaw dropping as a chorus of students yelled out.
“All the leaves are brown!” They sang with laughter before a few others echoed it back. She breathed in amazement as the vines wrapped around the ceiling of the greenhouse, and the various plants hanging from them, suddenly changed to beautiful shades of brown, yellow, orange, and red, creating a multicolor kaleidoscope effect.
Then she saw you. She saw you laying on the green, chuckling as a few students yelped in surprise, returning your hand to your laptop from where you had raised it to flick the colors into existence. You smiled at them, looking back to the student standing next to you and finishing what you were saying to them before they ran off, leaving you to keep working. There were various leather bound books scattered around you, and a few students scattered around them reading more still. You laid on your stomach, typing away on your laptop as those around you worked happily. It was easy, she realized, free.
She hadn’t seen the students like this since the events of last semester, since the entire Crackstone debacle. Yet here they were, laughing and smiling again, running up to each-other with bright eyes full of wonder and the occasional mischief.
It took her breath away. And there you were, at the center of it all, a calm but powerful energy, holding the moment together. You created a space full of exploration, yet one that felt safe, almost home-like. Safe , she realized. Wherever you went, it felt safe.
Your eyes met hers, and the smile on your face faded.
She looked at you like you had done the impossible, and you could see it. You could see the pain on her face, the apology. More than anything you could see the guilt. She had been hurt, and in that pain she had tried to find what she needed from you. She got scared, and she looked at you as if you were your sister. Your sister would never speak to her again, or tease her for it for the rest of time while mocking her ruthlessly. But you, you didn’t have it in you.
She knew you were looking for something in her, she just didn’t know what it was. She prayed, however, that you would see the apology in them. You stared a little longer, the hurt in you still just under the surface.
Then she realized what she had yet to do. She was so caught up in controlling and fixing the situation that she had forgotten the most important thing, she had forgotten to say it to you. She looked at you and swallowed, her eyes flirting around the room nervously to make sure no students were looking at her before those hydrangea blues settled back into storm grey..
‘I’m sorry’ she mouthed, and you inhaled slowly. Larissa Weems, apologizing. Admitting she was wrong, would wonders never cease.
You gave her a sad smile and nodded your head. She swallowed, she wouldn’t come in without your permission, this world that you had created, this was your space. You didn’t let her in, simply looking to the students around you.
Her heart dropped. You wouldn’t let her in again, not like you had, she thought. The realization flooded her with even more self hatred then before.
Yet just as she began to turn, she noticed something blooming out of the corner of her eye. She looked to it, a flower had bloomed in the doorway where she had just been standing. A white flower with long green leaves around it, a peace lily.
Notes:
Kofi for tips: https://ko-fi.com/miss_v_257
Discord for chats: https://discord.gg/ARpWV43V
Chapter 16: Not Quite (Minichapter)
Summary:
Larissa attempts to approach you, only to realize that the ground has shifted.
WARNING: Alcohol/minor use of alcohol as a scoping mechanism
Notes:
Hello darlings! This is a bonus mini chapter for you all, as well as some of the *incredible* fan art many of you have created and submitted on the discord server! I hope you enjoy, this is a sweet one for you all…
If you have any fanart to share or REQUESTS (yes, I do requests) hop on over to the discord and let me know!!!
https://discord.gg/RxqQqQYz
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
She was standing outside your door again. She didn’t know what to do, whether she should knock, or just let it go, or what. She wanted to try, she wanted to burst into your room and demand the two of you talk it out, actually, but that wouldn’t accomplish anything. Not with you, how you were.
She had tried, she tried to get you to stay, she grabbed you and accidentally threw you back into your mind, and the fact that her touch could do that horrified her. She hurt you, she realized. She had hurt you.
Larissa never second guessed herself, not where anyone else could see, at least, but now she found herself hesitating, nearly trembling at your door.
She could knock. She should knock, but she couldn’t get herself to try. She had to, she reminded herself, her fingers forming, flexing, and then reforming a fist, over and over. She had to. Her heart was practically pounding in her head, her tongue heavy with words she didn’t know how to say. But she had to. She had to find a way, to find the courage to talk to you.
Everything seemed to stretch on forever, yet the seconds rushed by. She was so absorbed in her panic she didn’t even notice you standing behind her, watching her stare at your door as if she could set it on fire. You, however, were far too tired to play that game. She could go in or she could not, but you would leave that up to her. It needed to be up to her. You had to give her the space to do that.
Her throat was tight, her head was beginning to hurt, her eyes felt like she hadn’t blinked in a week, she was sweating, god forbid-
“aaaand, thank you.” You hummed, placing the back of a gloved hand on her hip and moving her to the side, making the woman jump and startle, nearly yelping at the realization that you were there.
You opened the door, walked in, and let it fall shut behind you, leaving her standing there in utter shock. You would touch her casually, not truly, the back of hand, under your gloves on her clothing was hardly a touch, but you would do that and wouldn’t invite her in? That was somehow too far?
Fuming. She was fuming . How dare you. How dare you treat her as if this was nothing, as if you felt nothing, as if you could be apart from her without a thought when she so clearly couldn’t. It hurt. It ached that you could just brush past her. It made her see red. It was cruel. She had never known you to be cruel, and she knew you were hurt, but to be outright cruel in such a way?
She ripped the door open, her mind spinning out in deep, primal rage, the kind that made her very blood boil and her skin steam.
“Now, Miss Florere, if you think you can just brush me off- brush whatever this is off as if you don’t care- when I- I…” she trailed off when she finally looked at you, her mind faltering at the image laid out before her.
You were sitting on a chair in front of the fire, a small table in front of it, and another chair across. There was an empty glass on the table as well as a bottle of red wine, and a full glass of it in your hand as you stared at her patiently, your eyes glancing from the chair opposite, and the glass, back to her.
“You- you knew.” She hissed, and you took a deep dreg of your wine. Of course you knew, you had been walking on pins and needles all day, the last few days, since the greenhouse, waiting for her to come. You knew she would eventually, but until then you had been biding your time, your entire body on edge and exhausted. You took another deep pull of the wine, there wasn’t enough alcohol in the world for this conversation, but you were determined to at least attempt to keep your wits about you.
Her eyes followed the movement, the way your fingers fit around the glass, it was almost art. Your black gloves compared with the deep red of the wine, all bathed in the flickering light of the fire. There were no other lights on, just that, the curtains were drawn, the table was set, you were there, your eyes betraying how tired you were, even if you were adamant in keeping your composure, all you were missing was someone to drink with.
“I did.” You said softly, and she seethed.
“What is this? Are you toying with me?” She breathed, her voice strained as she shut the door behind her and strode up to you, coming close enough you had to tilt your head back to look up at her, but never invading your personal space. That was a mistake she could only make once. She couldn’t see how much you wanted her. All she could see was the cool presentation you were giving, your attempt to keep everything in check.
“This,” you said, nodding to the bottle, “is a French Malbec.” You pointed. “And this,” you added, gesturing around yourself, “is an invitation.” You finished slowly, your eyes betrayed exhaustion, but nothing else. You still wouldn’t let her in, not fully. She stared at you for a moment, trying to figure you out.
“I- you- you have no right to treat me like I- like you- like this isn’t- ugh !” She groaned, and you stared at her for a moment, your mind racing. Did she really think you didn’t care? Could the woman possibly be that thick? She was brilliant, so how she came to that conclusion baffled you.
“If I didn’t care about you I would have locked the door, I would be drinking bourbon or smoking, I certainly wouldn’t get out good wine, and the last thing I would have done is let you in here.” You said firmly, despite the tension creeping up your throat, and she stared at you for a moment. I’ve blue eyes searched storm grey ones for purchase, yet only found walls in their way.
“How do you do it?” She asked you, and you shook your head, scoffing and turning away, trying to find the words. She was driving you mad, or further into madness, you supposed. “How do you act as if you don’t care?” She asked, and you sighed deeply, it had been a few days since the peace lilies, and during that time you hadn’t had a word between you two.
So she really did think you didn’t care. After everything, she somehow thought you didn’t care.
“Jesus, is that what you think?” You snapped, standing up. She stepped closer, and you shook your head. “Do you really think I don’t?” You breathed, and she looked down at you, scanning your face for something, for anything. You gave nothing away but frustration bordering on anger, you were so fed up with the situation.
“You look at me like I’m nothing.” She hissed, and you shook your head, your breath heaving in your chest as you felt yourself heat up with your rushing emotions. They were choking you, flooding your eyes with tears you wouldn’t let yourself shed.
“You are everything.” You husked, your eyes finally giving away the intensity of the grief and sheer aching want you were hiding. “ Everything .” You repeated, your breath coming heavier, and finally, finally she could see the passion in your eyes, the hunger there. “That doesn’t mean I get to look at you like you are.” You rasped, and she stared at you, her eyes widening as she was stunned into silence. That, she hadn’t expected.
You shook your head, sighing deeply as you pulled away, sitting back in your chair. You stared at your glass for a moment, taking another long sip before closing your eyes, allowing the dry wine to give you something to focus on other than the woman taking up every damn bit of oxygen in the room. She was so close you could smell her perfume, and it had your mind spinning.
“Would you like a glass?” You managed, still not looking at her, and she took a deep breath in, staring for a moment. No, was her initial answer.
“No, I’d much rather taste something else-“ she muttered before she knew what she was doing. Where did that come from! She was appalled by her own mind, even that was betraying her, she looked to you in utter panic, your head still down as you stared in front of you, yet the sound of ripping fabric gave you away.
Bright red flowers bloomed in your hair as matching red centered calla lilies ripped through your gloves, making you gasp and stand, immediately going to the other table in the room and taking a knife, cutting them and placing them down on the table, turning to face her slowly, biting your lip in thinly concealed frustration, staring at her with daggers.
“Really?” You asked, and she turned bright red, absolutely mortified. She had only seen you loose control once before, with Wednesday when she first met you, she knew the flowers meant something and calla lilies…
Lust. Calla Lillies were symbols of lust. You still wanted her…
“I- I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean-“ she began, and you just shook your head, walking to the cabinet in the corner and pulling out a different bottle, this one, thankfully of bourbon. You no longer trusted yourself to remain calm with anything else.
You pulled the cork, taking a deep swig before sitting down on the chair again, letting the bottle sit on the floor next to you.
“I-“ she began, and your voice was firm when you cut her off.
“Sit.” You commanded, and she swallowed, doing as you said without another word. You poured her a glass of wine, and she glanced to the bottle of something much stronger on the floor, and you shook your head. “You’ll drink my wine before you get to my bourbon, headmistress.” You bit, and she clenched her jaw at the title, taking the glass and downing a quarter of it without a thought.
You raised your brows this time, looking at her strangely. She just downed a glass of wine. The woman was struggling, a lot, if it led to a lapse of manners such as that.
“That’s twice now you’ve done something I would think you would deem beneath you, care to enlighten me what’s gotten into you this evening?” You asked her, and she felt the heat settle on her cheeks as you caught her. She was out of control, the thing she feared the most, yet you were only calling attention to it, not criticizing.
“Perhaps I need the courage.” She said, and you took another sip of your wine, staring at her over the glass. You knew the feeling.
“And what do you need courage for?” You asked her, your heart pounding, and she shut her eyes for a moment, gathering what little patience she had left. She could do this, she told herself she could, and she would. Mouthing the words across a room wasn’t enough, she needed to look into your eyes when she said them.
She opened her eyes, staring into your grey ones. The ones she wanted nothing more than to get lost in. She wanted to dive into them, into you, but the space between you was too far for her to stretch on her own.
“I’m sorry.” She breathed when she looked into them, the words weighing on her like a cinder block dragging her down into the deep ocean of turmoil just below the calm surface she worked so hard to present. She swallowed, staring at you, the tension creeping into her like nothing she had ever felt. This was torture. Waiting for you was torture, waiting for you to say something, was torture.
You took a deep breath in, one that had her heart nearly pounding out of her chest, she felt as if everything would come crashing down, as if you would reject her, scream, cuss her out and run her from your rooms as if she was the monster that she often saw herself as.
What she didn’t expect, however, was you to throw your head back and laugh. The cackle you let loose made her jaw drop. You couldn’t help it, the entire situation was so ridiculous. She was apologizing to you. You had shoved her into a wall, and she was apologizing to you.
You were still pissed. She had compared you to your sister. Your sister who had done horrific things to her, you were still very much pissed, but the irony of it all wasn’t lost on you. You just laughed, having to set your wine down for fear of spilling it.
Larissa burned. You were laughing at her, laughing. She apologized, she admitted she was wrong, and you were laughing. How dare you! How dare you do this? She had made a mistake, yes, but she didn’t deserve to be mocked, to be laughed at like a freak or as if this was just all some game to you, as if she was just some game to you. She stood, her face red and her heart pounding.
It wasn’t fair.
It wasn’t fair that you could be so cruel and you could look that good while doing it.
She knew it wasn’t right, but with your head thrown back, your hands without gloves now that you had ripped through them, she couldn’t help but look. She stood, enraged, and stormed over to you, her face hot as she sneered through her words.
“I apologize and you- and you act like this! Like you-“ she huffed, and you just shook your head, the laugh fading as you stepped closer, desperately needing to show her what you meant. Your eyes were stormy as they often were, but it was the broth in them that stopped her in her tracks. They were filled with… regret.
“So am I.” You said, and she stopped, looking at you strangely. Your lips turned down against your will, showing a second of the emotion you were feeling, the emotion that was choking you into silence. Your grimaced to hide it, but it was too late, you knew she saw it.
“What?” She snapped, and you huffed out a sorry excuse for a laugh. You were tired. You were tired, and you wanted her. You didn’t want to fight it. You knew you should, that as long as she saw you as nothing but an extension of your sister it wouldn’t be fair to either of you, but you didn’t want to, not anymore. Even you had your breaking point.
“I’m sorry.” You said, and her eyes went wide.
“What on earth are you sorry for?” She snapped, and you scoffed, tossing your arms to your sides as if the answer was obvious.
“I shoved you into a wall! You don’t think that merits an apology!” You gawked. She was out of her mind, you didn’t understand how she could ignore how wrong that was.
“It was a door, and I am fine.” She argued, and you groaned, running a hand through your wild hair. It was fully down now, considering it was after hours. It was always so beautiful when it was down. Larissa just wanted to grab it. She wanted to run her hands through it, to play with the thick curls falling over your shoulders, to brush away the one strand that seemed to enjoy falling in front of your eyes, giving you an alluring look, at least to her, even when you were angry.
“That doesn’t matter! I laid hands on you, that is absolutely- undeniably unacceptable!” You yelled, standing up to face her. “Completely!” You added, and she just shook her head.
“I’m fine- I swear it’s fine!” She countered, and you yelled out before you could even form the words. She was thick in the head, it seemed. In her stupidly pretty head, with her infuriatingly soft looking red lips.
“It’s not fine! At ALL! I could have hurt you-“ you began, only to once again be cut off.
“You didn’t!” She hissed, and you shook your head, your face drawn with worry. This was what finally got you to crack. Your worry for her broke through every single painstakingly placed barrier. Every little line you promised yourself you would not cross.
“That isn’t the point! The point is that I could have, and the last thing I would ever want in this godforsaken life is to hurt you!” You argued, and she shook her head.
“But you DIDN’T!” She nearly yelled, stepping closer to try to assure you. She wanted to pull you close, to hold you and tell you it was alright.
“Listen to me, I can’t just grab people and force them to get what I want! That is wrong! That makes me no better than- no better than- than-“ you were panicking, and she could see it.
“Ophelia, you were fine.” She tried to console you, stepping even closer. You looked up into her eyes, panic all over your face as you suddenly realized she was so close, close enough you were practically touching. So close you could just lean in, if you wanted to, and you certainly wanted to.
“Nothing about me grabbing you- god , about the way I treat you, is fi- mmph !” You were cut off when she grabbed you by the shoulders, pulling you close and slamming her lips onto yours.
Your arms went straight up, almost as if you were surrendering to her, unwilling to trust yourself to touch her. Yet you didn’t stop her. You gasped against her lips and she pulled away, her chest heaving as she stared at you.
“I’m sorry, I-“ She stuttered, her eyes wide in horror that she had done the wrong thing. She just wanted you to stop, you were so close, and she knew that would stop you. She didn’t even get to finish her words, you were on her again, the look in your eyes borderline feral.
“Oh, shut up and do it again,” you breathed, pulling her back in.
She moaned as your lips finally pressed against hers again, you grabbed her by the hips, walking her back until she sat in one of the chairs, letting you straddle her lap so you could kiss her better. She sighed as your weight settled on her lap, her hands immediately wrapping around you, one climbing up the covered skin of your back while the other slid down your waist to cup your ass, squeezing you against her and making you nearly whimper into her lips.
You wrapped your arms around her shoulders as you slid your tongue over her bottom lip, instantly making her part her lips when you gave a little tug on her hair, the woman moaning in response. She pulled you to roll your hips against her and you groaned into her mouth, a sound that had her breath stuttering against you.
“Jesus Christ,” you panted, pulling back only to slam into her again, almost as if you were being flooded by waves of passion for the woman. You wanted her, you were ravenous for her, and she wanted nothing more than to have every bit of you.
Her hands wandered over your body, she couldn’t get enough. She needed to memorize every inch, feel every atom of you pressed up against her, she needed all of you, and it was driving her mad. She whimpered against you, pulling back and gasping for air against your lips.
“Please,” she whimpered, and you groaned, your own hand winding further into her hair as you adjusted yourself on her, letting her sit up more so she could hold you better.
“Larissa,” you moaned as her hands gripped you tighter, and she whimpered, her lips parting shakily a hair’s breadth from yours.
“I- please, please believe me,” she whispered, and your breath hitched, catching in your throat as she begged. You nodded against her, your lips pressing against hers again, kissing her like you needed it to survive.
Her hands pulled you into her closer, your body sliding against her and making you grip her shoulders harshly when your core pressed against her stomach. You choked back a moan, the sound catching in your throat as you panted, pushing on her shoulders a bit and allowing you to shift your weight back onto your own legs, pulling your hips away from her. She whined, her hands grabbing fistfuls of you, desperately wanting you closer.
“I can’t- Larissa, please, I can’t,” you panted, dropping your head to her shoulder as your heart pounded in your chest. You wanted it, you wanted her closer, you wanted to have her like that, to touch her like that, but you couldn’t, not like this, not when your mind was all over the place and you ran the risk of hurting her. Not when neither of you knew where you stood. “I can’t, not like this,” you whispered, and her chest shuddered as she tried to catch her breath, panting below you.
“I- I’m sorry- I shouldn’t have-“ she began, panic flooding her as she worried she made the wrong move. You pulled back enough to look at her, her face flushed, her normally perfect red lipstick slightly smudged.
Her words caught in her throat when you cupped her cheek gently, your warm skin sliding over hers. Her lips parted, the sharp intake of breath and the way her eyes fluttered half-closed as she attempted to keep eye contact giving away just how starved she was for your skin on hers. It was divine .
She looked gorgeous like this, hazy and needy, you might just go mad to see it again. She could feel your warm hands against her cheek, the strength grounding the delicate touch. You were always so gentle with her, yet it was exactly your gentleness that broke her apart.
“I- don’t apologize for that,” you managed, and her eyes darkened at the way you skirted around saying something firm. She knew what you were implying, what you wanted, but wouldn’t let yourself have.
“You do, you do want… do you?” She whispered, unable to even form the words. It was ridiculous, her shying away from such a thing. The idea of someone wanting her, of you wanting her, like that, it was too much.
She felt she didn’t deserve it.
You hummed, the sound calling her out of her thoughts as you leaned in again, kissing her slowly this time, sweetly. You took her hand in yours, leading it up to your chest, letting it settle over your heart, and she gasped as she could feel it pounding.
You moaned against her, tilting your head and kissing her again, your lips trailing down over her jaw, making her jump and buck up into you slightly. She whimpered when you kissed at her neck, her thighs pressing together in an attempt to get some sort of releif for the torture you caused. You groaned when you felt her do it, placing a final soft kiss to the column of her throat before pulling back again, another sweet kiss to her lips, one she leaned in to chase after only to feel you pull away, slipping your hand around her cheek again and feeling her skin practically heat up under the touch.
She was panting up at you, nearly squirming trying to find some relief. It wasn’t fair, it wasn’t even close to fair that you could do this, that you could make her feel like this.
“I want you, Larissa,” you breathed next to her ear, and the broken moan that left her throat was guttural.
“Please, please, Ophelia,” she begged, and you just shook your head, your throat closing up at the words.
“But you’re not mine.” You whispered, kissing her temple again before pulling back, standing and making your way back to your chair on nearly shaking legs. She could see it. She could see how much it was killing you. Yet until you forgave her, until she found her way close to you again, you wouldn’t give in.
Notes:
I hope you enjoyed! Comments and tips are really what keeps this going, so thank you so much to all who have done both, it is more appreciated then you know!!!
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Chapter 17: Spinning
Summary:
Morticia visits you in an attempt to get you to let loose, unfortunately for you, she inadvertently unravels something she never wanted to see.
WARNING: Alcohol/Drugging/Drunkenness/assault flashbacks/implied sexual assault/violence
Notes:
Hello darlings!!! This chapter was honestly one of the most intense to write so far, however it was also one of my absolute favorites! Please let me know what you think!
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
You were drunk. You were extremely drunk. You were laying on the floor of your room, bottle of wine half gone, no glass, ceiling was spinning drunk. You had started drinking when your sister had dropped by after receiving your ‘I’m alive’ text. She had brought the wine, and you had stupidly agreed to drink with her, forgetting that your sister was essentially a potions master who loved nothing more than to drive you insane.
This is how you ended up, extremely drunk, on your floor, staring at the spinning ceiling. You only had half the bottle, there was no way that you could be this drunk off of regular wine. Heaven knows what she gave you, but it was enough to have you three sheets to the wind. You heard the door open and immediately stuck your middle finger in the air.
“You fucking drugged me you merciless bitch.” You slurred, however, instead of hearing your sister’s laugh, you heard a very concerned hiss.
“What did you do!” Larissa hissed, and Morticia just snickered.
“I didn’t think she’d actually drink that much.” She chuckled, and you attempted to sit up, glaring at the spinning image of your sister.
“I am more drunk right now, then I was- oh god the spinning-“ you hissed, grabbing your head and laying back down. “The fuck is even in there?” You asked, and she laughed.
“That would be fortified wine and a hefty dose of delirium potions, you know how hard it is to actually get you drunk.” Your sister smiled, pulling Larissa into the room and sitting on the floor with you. You looked up at the white haired woman, very confused.
“Why the fuck is your roommate here?” You asked your sister, eyes still locked onto Larissa. The poor woman was halfway between extreme confusion, concern, and panic.
“Because she likes you more than I do, and I believe you like her more than you like me.” She replied, gesturing for the woman to sit. Larissa just gaped at the interaction.
“One: not a high bar. Two: she was a fuckin bitch to me the other day, but I’m over it now.” You slurred, and Morticia laughed.
“What could Larissa have possibly done that my soft hearted big sister would be upset at her?” Morticia teased, and you glared at her.
“Aye, she thought I was you, you halfwitted fuck.” You shot, your accent thicker when you were careless, and Larissa blushed in mortification as Morticia raised a brow.
“Why? Because you look like a less interesting version of me?” Your sister teased, and again you flipped her off, slumping back to the ground.
“No, because she was upset and fuckery and this that and the other thing and you’re a cunt.” You blabbered, and Morticia laughed.
“Am I?” She asked, and you groaned.
“You fucking DRUGGED ME!” You hollered, and she hushed you, attempting to cover your mouth. You swatted her hands away a little too aggressively. “You were upset and stressed out, now you’re not.” She remedied, and you glared.
“Larissa’s better than you.” You said randomly, and Morticia rolled her eyes, clearly you were drunk.
“Mhm, I’m sure. That’s why she’s still at the school we attended as children.” Morticia scoffed, and Larissa tensed her jaw, glaring at your sister.
“Tich, I gotta tell you something.” You said, and the woman raised a brow. “She’s smarter than you, harder working, more interesting, better educated, and a fuck ton hotter than you, so kindly, suckmadick.” You slurred, and Larissa gaped as your sister glared at you.
“You’re a prude, I bet you don’t even have one with you.” She shot back, and you smiled.
“Yeah I do, and it’s nicer than the one I gave your husband for Hanukkah!” You cackled, and her jaw dropped.
“That was you!” She yelled, and you only laughed harder.
“He’s not even Jewish!” You rolled on the floor, laughing at your own prank, and Morticia sighed, cringing a bit. You were very, very out of it. She hadn’t intended to actually do more than make you a little tipsy to celebrate you not dying.
“Alright, I might have went a little far.” She breathed, and Larissa gaped at her.
“You drugged your sister!” She hissed, and Morticia shrugged.
“She’s been though worse.” She hummed, and Larissa absolutely seethed.
“Exactly! You didn’t even think to consider that you should not do this to anyone, especially her, for that exact reason!” She snapped, and you looked up from the floor. The noise was enough to have you look up, only to see Larissa angry, very angry, and pointing at your sister.
You blushed, her hair had fallen a bit, her face was flushed, and the sheer power she showed had your own skin heating up. She was defending you, and fuck if it didn’t do things to you.
“Holy mother of Fuck you’re hot.” You slurred, before dropping back down again. Larissa blushed deeply, her eyes snapping to your prone, but thankfully still covered, body, before looking back at the woman in front of her.
“Did you not stop to think that this is a massive invasion of her, not to mention the fact that it’s illegal AND you chose to do this on school grounds!” She spat at the raven haired woman sitting next to you.
“Oh, fuck me senseless, madam,” you hissed, making Larissa absolutely gape at the way you were looking at her. Thankfully, you turned to Morticia before you could finish undressing her with your eyes. “Morticia, I gottatellyou somthin.” You breathed, and she giggled.
“This is ridiculous!” Larissa hissed, and your eyes fixed on her. Want, that’s what it was, that’s what was coursing through you. Sheer, unadulterated want.
“What’s ridiculous is that you’re not in my bed right now,” you breathed, before you realized what you were saying. Your eyes went wide in horror at your own behavior before locking on your sister, who was currently cackling.
“There may have been some of a truth potion I’ve been working on in that bottle too.” She grinned gleefully. Larissa looked to her in absolute disgust. This is how she treated you. After everything you had been through, after nearly dying just days ago, this is how she treated you, like a laugh.
“I kissed ur husband.” You slurred, and Larissa’s eyes nearly bugged out of her skull. Morticia just scoffed.
“Yes, I know.” She said.
“And it was, terrible.” You shuddered, and your sister again rolled her eyes.
“That would be because you’re a lesbian, Ophelia.” She said, and you nodded.
“Mhm, I know, but Tich, it was terrible. And I have kissed my fair share of men.” You sneered. You almost looked innocent in your disgust, even if the comment made Larissa want to destroy anyone who has forced you to do that. Again your sister rolled her eyes. “And he’s so short, and gross, and soft.” You gagged.
“As opposed to what?” The raven haired woman snapped, and you shrugged.
“When women are soft, it’s amazing, it’s like worshiping a Michelangelo sculpture, like Aphrodite herself, but he was just, ew.” You said, and Morticia scoffed.
“You are the most sapphic person I know, you know that?” She said, and you smiled.
“Hell yeah.” You murmured, and she sighed. You looked up at Larissa again, your head tilting and eyes melting when you did. She really was the most beautiful creature you had ever seen. “Care to give me a run for my money?” You whispered, the innuendo far from lost on the woman if they way her cheeks burned was any indication.
“Well this is slightly less amusing then I thought it would be.” She sighed, and Larissa glared at her.
“You did this for your own amusement!” She hissed, and you hiccuped from the floor.
“She did it to get back at me for texting her I was alive instead of calling.” You mumbled, and your sister sighed, sitting next to you. You grumbled, rolling away from her and towards Larissa, who swallowed as you sat up, laying against her legs.
That was, new. You were exceedingly careful about touch, even now, especially now. You hadn’t talked to her in days, not since the wine, and now you were practically on her lap.
“Well that certainly is interesting.” Morticia smiled wickedly, and you flipped her off again. “Practically climbing my darling sequoia.” She continued, and Larissa stiffened. You could feel it. Even with your mind spinning, you could feel it, and no one should make her react like that, especially not Morticia.
“You’re a fucking bitch.” You said to your sister, only the jest in your voice had gone. You weren’t joking anymore. Larissa looked down at you in shock.
“It’s not my fault you seem to be enamored by my former roommate.” Your sister retorted, and you rolled your eyes.
“Did you ever stop to think maybe I moved because I fucking hate when you touch me?” You spat. She stopped. Everything stopped. Morticia’s eyes went dark, angry. She hated that. She hated that she couldn’t touch you anymore. You two had once been inseperable, now she was lucky if you took her hand.
“You hate when anyone touches you.” She gritted, and you glared right back.
“Not her.” You said, and your sister stood, swallowing.
“Yes, well considering you have a reputation for fucking any woman you can find your way to-“
“No I don’t.” You said. Larissa gaped. You were quite literally drugged with a truth potion, you couldn’t lie. “Despite what your mother says my ‘little black book’ is remarkably short.” You spat, and Larissa swallowed. You were angry, you were very angry. “I’m not a whore, Morticia.” You gritted, barely able to keep your head up.
“Please, I used to see you, back in the day. I still remember coming to see you and finding you covered in bruises, and that was well before you worked for that place!” Morticia retorted, “back when you would disappear for days on end to god knows where and come back spent like a fucking whore! What do you think mother thought! What was she supposed to think?” Morticia snapped, and you froze. It was like time stopped.
“Excuse me?” You hissed, and Larissa could feel the tension in the room ratchet.
“Ophelia, that’s not what I-“ she began, but your face remained hard.
“No?” You cut, and she swallowed, backing down. “No, you clearly didn’t mean to call me a whore, or to reveal that you were REPORTING on me to your mother!” You nearly screamed, sitting up further even as your head swam. “For Christ‘s sake Morticia, she put me in that place! The both of them! The both of them are the reason I ended up that way, how can you not see that?” You raged.
“I- I was worried, you were high more often then not, you were covered in bruises and I- I saw you seek out dangerous people, Ophelia, I saw one of them!” She tried to defend, and you just shook your head in disbelief.
“Saw them! Saw them! You and your husband got shitfaced with me in Paris ONE TIME!” You yelled, and Larissa physically shrunk back. So this is what it felt like when the two of you fought. It was terrifying.
“And you went off with some fucking succubus and I didn’t see you again until morning!” She yelled back, and you shook your head.
“Please, I’ve never slept with strangers, do you really think I can sleep with strangers, my god, I was on and off with Lorraine for months, which you might have known if you had ever bothered to actually ask instead of running to your mummy!” You spat back, and Morticia seemed to settle with this. It was quiet for a moment, Larissa just gaping in shock as the two of you stared at each other, your eyes hard. To Larissa’s utter shock, Morticia gave in, looking away in shame.
“She covered you in- you nearly broke your arm, Ophelia.” The woman whimpered, and you sighed, shaking your
“When all you know is pain, love in any form without it feels wrong, Morticia.” You gritted, your words still slightly slurred. “I hardly think I need to explain why sometimes, especially back then, it feels better if it hurts.” You replied, and the woman swallowed, looking away. Larissa just stared, still shocked. She turned bright red as she realized what exactly the two of you were talking about, and the contact she had with you from where you were still slumped against her legs felt like fire caressing her very skin. Yet you didn’t pull away, and as long as you wouldn’t, she would rather touch fire itself then let go of a millimeter of closeness between you two.
“I guess I’m just surprised.” Morticia admitted, glancing up at Larissa, and you calmed a bit, again leaning onto Larissa’s legs. You likely wouldn’t have if you were sober, but drunk as you were, you just wanted to be close to the woman.
“We both know she’s stunning, you can stop putting her down to feel better about yourself.” You murmured, and Morticia’s eyes went wide.
“I- I don’t-“ She stuttered, and you groaned, rolling your eyes.
“Yes, you do.” You returned, and she clenched her jaw.
“Well you would think that, you’re practically obsessed with her!” Morticia snapped back. Your eyes went wide as you looked at your sister in slight fear. You were the one drugged, but if she pushed you too far… She smirked, she held the power, at least in this particular arena and she knew it.
“Morticia, don’t-“ you panicked, but her smile widened as she asked anyway.
“Aren’t you?” She teased, and you slammed your mouth shut, trying to stop yourself. You knew even you could only fight it off so long.
“Yes,” you whispered, the word falling out of your mouth without your permission. Morticia laughed as Larissa stared down at you in shock. You were drunk, but you were also dosed with a potion that forced you to tell the truth, meaning that anything you said was… real.
“You’ve always thought she was beautiful, do you think about her in other ways too?” Morticia teased, and your body went tense, you were trying to fight it, desprately trying to fight it. You would tell Larissa these things, if the time came, but you did not want them to be ripped out of you, certainly not like this.
“Morticia,” you gasped, you could force poison or potions through your system quickly, but not without pain, and not quickly enough.
“Do you!” Your sister yelled. You hung your head, gasping out as you tried to call forth anything you could use to nullify what she had given you. Larissa swallowed, you almost looked pained.
“Morticia, I don’t think-“ she began, only to be cut off by your broken voice.
“Yes,” you whimpered, and Larissa’s breath hitched.
“Morticia, that’s enough,” the woman swallowed, but your sister just laughed, waving her off. To her, it was just a game, she meant no harm. It was just a crush, one she had been well aware of.
“We’re just playing, it’s alright,” she smirked down at you. “Why Ophelia? Hmmm, you barely know her, why are you so, what’s the word, desperate?” She pushed, and you gagged, your body shaking as you tried to force yourself to expel whatever Morticia had given you. “Why!” She yelled excitedly, and you glared up at her, staring daggers as blood dripped down your nose.
“Because something in me makes me trust her.” You glowered. Morticia went pale, paler than usual. She hurt you. Horror seized as she realized she went too far, again, she had gone too far, and she had hurt you.
“Oh my- Ophelia, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean-“ she rushed, seeing exactly how hard you were fighting off whatever she dosed you with.
“Because she feels safe,” you groaned, your body begginging to shake lightly, and Morticia came to you, she gave you too much, something was wrong.
“Don’t you fucking touch me!” You screamed, slamming back into Larissa’s legs. The woman gasped, falling down on the chair behind her, and watched in horror as you cried out in pain. “Don’t FUCKING TOUCH ME!” You screamed, and Morticia jumped back. Something was very wrong, you shouldn’t be reacting like this. “Stop it! Stop it! Stop it!” You screamed, and Morticia realized in horror what was happening.
“Oh my god she’s not seeing us.” She breathed, and you looked around wildly, searching for any source of an explanation. All you could see was your room at Newflight, one of the guards with you.
“Please, please I don’t want to,” you whimpered, and Larissa looked down at you in horror. “I- I don’t like it, please,” you begged, and Larissa tried to reach for you. The moment her hands touched your back you gasped, arching up a bit and falling silent. Your eyes rolled back into your head.
“Shit!” Morticia hissed, coming to you and helping you down. Your body was rigid, taught as a cord as she laid you back on the floor. Larissa lunged for you, helping your sister lay you back, only to feel a familiar pull until she went tumbling face first into a vision.
Cold, it was cold. Desolate, almost, that was the first thing she felt. The walls were dark grey in the watercolor pattern your visions always were. For the moment there was only one thing in focus, and she realized that Morticia was standing right next to her, looking around wildly.
“What- what is-“ Larissa gaped, and Morticia looked around in horror.
“This is Newflight.” She swallowed, jumping as a door on the side of the room swung open, revealing two guards, dragging a limp body in between them. Larissa choked as she realized who it was.
Your body looked wrong, so weak and bent, your hair looked lifeless, matted and filthy as it hung over your bent head. You were unconscious, or at the very least unresponsive, you looked like a broken doll dangling lifelessly as the men hauled you over to a filthy looking bed, taking a metal collar attached to a chain and locking it around your neck.
Morticia looked sick as Larissa stared at you in utter horror. You were young, far too young. No longer a child, but with how emaciated you were it was nearly impossible to tell.
The closer of the two men grabbed your face, your eyes lolling back as if your body was trying to respond, trying to look at the threat, but just couldn’t any more. It couldn’t. He sneered down at you, turning your head this way and that to get a better look, lifting you up by the metal collar and leering over your body.
“Soon, word is that one’s parents are about to give up. If they disown her you can have your way with her before she’s sold.” The other guard gruffed, and the man over you smiled sickly, making both women watching shudder.
“She would be pretty, almost. If she wasn’t a fucking monster.” He responded, both men leaving the room with you chained down by the throat.
It was then that Larissa noticed the other bed, a girl a bit older than you were there, she must have been 19 or so, sitting up to try to get a better look at your limp body.
Her chain was similar to yours, it was threaded through a ring on the bed and attached to the wall, meaning they could literally pull you by the throat back into the beds, where the arm and ankle restraints were. There were other points in the room with similar loops, a terrifying spot on the wall seemed to be made to chain people spread eagle into it. She didn’t want to imagine what those were for, but her mind worked against her will, horrifying scenarios flashing across her consciousness. Even now, however, there was still a sense of a shield around her, you were still protecting her, as much as you could.
“Hey,” the girl croaked, and you didn’t respond, your lifeless body still limp and broken looking. Morticia took Larissa’s hand, making the woman flinch. She was shaking. This scared her, Larissa realized. This was something that could finally get the woman to crack her demeanor. “You have to write your parents, tell them you’re getting better.” The girl hummed, and you didn’t respond. She didn’t give up though, she just looked at you, tilting her head as best she could from where she was slouched against the wall on her bed. “I’m a seer, you know, I can tell you’re awake.” The girl whispered, and when you finally took a shuddering breath in your entire body seemed to strain with the effort.
“Why would I ever write them? They sent me here.” You whispered, and Larissa gasped, almost instinctively stepping forward to comfort you. Morticia, however, held her back.
“You’re not stupid, you heard the guards. If your parents give up, they’ll sell you to the highest bidder.” She replied. The way the other girl spoke was almost, detached. It was as if she had seen this all before, as if she knew what was coming and had accepted it. “You’ll fetch a high price too. As powerful as you are, someone will use you as a weapon.” She sighed, and you still didn’t move, didn’t open your eyes.
“Powerful,” you spat. “I grow flowers. I can’t even get myself out of here.” You rasped. You sounded so, defeated. It was like you didn’t care anymore, you couldn’t bring yourself to.
“Maybe not now, but you will be.” The girl replied. “You’re female too, they go for higher.” She added, and you seemed to still for a moment in the bed. You were barely breathing to begin with, but the moments you went truly still, neither your sister nor Larissa could tell the difference between your young body or a corpse.
“They sell shapeshifters for that, I thought, or succubi, sirens even.” You whispered, your voice straining against the silence.
“Not to fuck you, flower girl, to breed you.” She answered, and that, that finally got you to open your eyes. You stared straight at the ceiling, your eyes dead. Larissa nearly fell to her knees. The light in them, the mischief and madness she so adored, it wasn’t there. You weren’t there.
“I will never have children.” You replied coldly. The girl looked at you oddly.
“You will never give birth, but you will have children. Many, in fact.” She hummed, and your eyes continued to stare blankly at the ceiling.
“I can stop it. I know enough- I know enough of what I can do to stop it. I can make it so I never have them. I won’t be a broodmare for some psychopath.” You said, your jaw tightening as Larissa looked to you in fear. You were talking about, could you? Could you make yourself barren based on the plants and herbs you created? Did you, that young, did you have to make that choice? Is that how it happened? Morticia gasped out next to her, her hand coming to her mouth in horror and shock as she heard the conversation.
“You will still have children though.” The girl said, and you finally turned your head to look at her, your blank grey eyes meeting her green ones.
“Never.” You whispered, and she shook her head.
“I am not someone with the gift of foresight like you, or…” she hesitated. “It’s your sister, a twin, yes?” She asked, however it was clear she already knew the answer. “I am much, much more than that, my dear” She hummed. You fell silent for a moment, just scanning her face.
“How old are you?” You asked quietly, and the girl hummed.
“Nineteen, in this life, at least. You’re still fifteen, aren’t you?” She asked, and you blinked slowly in lieu of a nod. You were too weak to even move your head properly.
“I can see into your very soul, flower girl, I can see who you are, who you will be.” She said softly, her voice never daring to raise high, yet her conviction strong despite the clear weakness this place caused. You turned your head back slowly to the ceiling, staring at it in silence for a moment. The room was quiet, the only sound Larissa could hear was her pounding heartbeat, and surely it would simply stop altogether soon, seeing you like this, this broken, it almost snapped something inside of her.
“I don’t have a soul.” You said blankly, your voice scratching its way out of your abused throat. “It was ripped out of me. This place, those people, they took it.” You stated. “I feel nothing. I can’t feel, I can’t even imagine it anymore. How could that have a soul?” You rasped, your voice broken from the exhaustion of talking too much when you had nothing to give. The girl seemed to think for a moment, peering into you as you stared up at the ceiling.
“You’re wrong. You can’t feel for you, maybe, but you still feel for others. You feel for her.” She said, and you closed your eyes.
“Morticia will be fine.” You replied, and the grown woman sobbed, covering her mouth as she watched you give up in front of her. You really had given up, it was over, you let her go. This was the very day you let her go.
“She will, yes, in time. But that is not who I am referring to.” The girl replied, and you froze in place, still staring at the ceiling. It looked like you were refusing to acknowledge what she was talking about, you were almost scared to. “Burgundy roses, white lillies, are those what you think of for her? Do you know the meanings?” She asked, and you shuddered, visibly shuddered. It was like the girl was stripping away the final walls you still had up.
“Unconscious beauty and peace.” You breathed, and she smiled at you. Morticia’s eyes went wide as Larissa’s breath froze in her chest.
“You feel for her, don’t you?” She asked, although again, she seemed to already know. You squeezed your eyes shut tight, tears finally coming to them. Your body shook as they began to flow, began to trail down your sunken cheeks. It was the first time you showed any emotion since you were brought in. It was terrifying and relieving at the same time.
“She’s hurting, he- he keeps hurting her. I don’t know why, and I can’t- I can't stop it.” You whispered, your already tiny voice broken. Larissa felt her own tears come as she watched.
“You will someday. She will make you feel things you think are impossible.” The girl whispered. You shook your head, your eyes still closed.
“No, no, she doesn’t even know I exist and I- I don’t know why she’s always there! Always in my head, my sister gave me a memory of her and now it’s- it's the only thing that helps.” You admitted softly, tears wracking your body. The girl only sighed.
“You’ll learn why someday. You’ll meet her, you will trick her for a while, make her think you’re strangers, but your souls will find a way back together again.” The girl sighed, laying down and looking at the ceiling. You swallowed, forcing the tears to end as you shook your head.
“I’m never making it out of here.” You breathed, and the girl shook her own head in reply as she laid down.
“Sure you will. You will be saved, and then you will save others, again and again. You will find every distraction. You will save countless of her kind to make up for comfort you will feel like you stole from her.” The girl said, and you visibly shook in fear.
“I don’t mean to see her.” You whispered guiltily, and the girl just continued, ignoring you.
“You will fight your entire life, and someday you will know rest. That’s what she is, that is why you see her.” The girl said, and you shook your head.
“She is not rest. She is in pain!” You nearly screamed, and Larissa jumped back as the sound broke the quiet and heavy feeling in the room. Even broken and stripped, your screams were the most piercing thing she had ever heard. “She is in pain! Horrible pain! And I can’t help her! I’m here! How am I supposed to do anything from here!” You screamed, and the girl began to laugh as pounding could be heard outside the hallway, people were running towards the room.
“You will be hers as she is yours, flower girl. You will destroy yourself saving every child, every shapeshifter you can, but the only one who can save you will always be Larissa Weems.” She laughed, and you looked to her in utter fear, launching out of the bed with strength and speed you shouldn’t have possessed, stumbling over to her and grabbing her by the slip she wore. It was the same as yours.
“Don’t. Don’t say her name. They can’t know. If they know- if they find out- if that monster sends her here- they can’t know her name!” You cried, and the girl just shook her head at you with a knowing smile. The orderlies burst in as Larissa stood in utter shock, staring as if the world had been revealed to her. It had been that long? That long you had known her? It wasn’t- it didn’t make sense, why would a seer talk about her to try to get you to fight. Why did it work?
The vision flickered, and the women could see you bent over, panting. You were wearing a black sports bra and leggings, little else as music blared around you, there was blood dripping down your nose and sweat from your brow.
“Again!” A woman called, and you stood up, pulling your fists into a fighting position and tilting your head back, gasping for air as a tall red-headed man with a scruffy beard approached you.
“Look at the lass! Give her a break, Georgiana!” The man gruffed, and you shook your head, you were older here, in your twenties maybe.
“I can take it Jenkins, come on, hit me again.” You panted, pulling yourself up and setting your fists in the proper position.
“Philly, I’m not gonna-“ he began, but you surged forward, decking him once with a tight hook before he grunted, snapping out of it and beginning to spar with you.
“That’s it,” the woman called, and she walked almost through Larissa, making her shudder as she stepped closer, watching you attentively, marking your every movement. Larissa gaped, the woman had to be presenting as nearly six and a half feet tall, she was taller than her, that was certain. “Cover your left, you lean into it too much.” She said, and you gritted your teeth, moving faster despite the clear strain. It wasn’t hard to tell you were exhausted. You didn’t look to the woman, her loose brown and grey curls pulled half back as she watched you.
The vision flickered back, and the young seer nearly choked as your frail hands wrapped around her neck to silence her.
“You can’t say her name!” You panicked, and the girl laughed.
“You’ll kill them long before they know her name.” She replied, and you stared at her in horror as one of the orderlies grabbed your chain, yanking you back by the throat and making you choke and scream out.
The vision changed again, and you and Jenkins were sparing heavily. Larissa and Morticia watched in fear as you dodged blow after blow, but you were tired, and it was clear you couldn’t keep up forever. When he finally landed a good blow on you, you slumped to the ground, gasping for air and clutching your stomach where he had hit you.
“Enough, Ophelia, we can go again in th’ morn.” He said, spitting to the side, blood darkening the ground of the room. Larissa looked at your shaking body and her heart broke. You le head was bent down, your face hidden, but it didn’t take much to know that you were crying.
“I have to fight.” You sobbed, and he sighed deeply, shaking his head and kneeling down next to you.
“Not like this, yer not gettin’ any better trying to beat me when yer already dead on your feet.” He said, stroking your hair. You turned away from him, pushing the man’s arms off, and he looked up to the woman for help. She came to you slowly, eventually kneeling down with the both of you.
“That’s enough, darling.” She said, and you sobbed, shaking your head.
“I lost them.” You cried, looking up at her and nearly falling into the woman. Larissa gasped, covering her mouth. This was Georgiana, this was the woman who had shaped you, the shifter who had taught you and practically raised you after breaking you out of Newflight. “I lost them, I turned around for a second, and they were gone,” you sobbed, and she pulled you close, hushing you as she placed you on her lap, looking to Jenkins in work over your head.
“It’s not your fault dear, we can’t save all of them.” She breathed, her own voice choking on the words. Jenkins placed a heavy hand on your back, rubbing assuringly as your sobs turned into wails of grief, staining the vision with your torment.
“Ye got out four today Philly, that’s four more who’ll have lived ‘cause a ye. You cannae take that for granted.” He said firmly, and you shook your head, sobbing into the woman’s chest as you clutched onto her like she could fix everything.
“It’s ok Ophelia,” she just whispered. “I’ve got you, it’s ok.” She repeated, and your sobs only grew louder, until they faded into the screams of the other vision.
Larissa sobbed in horror as it changed back, one man yanking you back by the chain attachment to the collar around your throat as another went over to grab you.
“Strap her to the wall! If she wants to act out, she can take the punishment.” One of them said, and you cried out brokenly as you were dragged up and over to the wall, your body too tired to fight it. You refused to shed a single tear though. Adamant in your refusal to feel. In your unwillingness.
The guard from before came forward, smirking at you as he unholstered what seemed to be a small cattle prod.
“You want to play, girlie?” He mocked, and even with how dead your eyes were, he still received a glare that made Larissa suffer as Morticia shrunk back. “Strip her, might as well have something to look at while she gets her punishment.” The man said. “Drug her up too, enough so she can’t fight back, she’s a feisty one.” He added before his smile widened at your helpless body, slumping into the restraints as another guard injected you with something. “We’re supposed to make them wives after all, the bosses won’t get too mad if we break them in.” He smirked, and everything went black.
Larissa heard as Morticia screamed the moment she pulled out of the vision, her hands snapping back like she had been burned.
“Oh my god, oh my god I’m so sorry.” She whimpered, covering her mouth in shock. She felt sick, knowing that was what your childhood was, the place you had been sent to, it made her sick.
“What- what was that?” Larissa rasped, kneeling on the floor next to you and staring at your still unconscious body.
“I- I don’t know, she was trying to fight off the potion, it must have sent her into a vision but that- that can’t be real, no that can't have happened.” She whispered, horrified.
“Morticia she, let her go, she doesn’t want- oh my god-” Larissa gulped, and Morticia shook her head. “Morticia, let her go!” She barked, and the dark haired woman jumped.
“She’s been drugged like this before. I just wanted to tease her, I didn’t think…” the woman trailed, tears coming to her eyes. Larissa glared at her, picking you up and cradling your body to her protectively.
“No, you didn’t! You never do, do you?” She spat, holding you close. You stirred a bit in her arms and she looked down at you, holding you in her lap gently. Tears began to come as she cradled you, desperately waiting for any sign of life. Your eyes fluttered open and you looked up at her, swallowing as everything came flooding back. Larissa exhaled in relief, her eyes watering as yours met hers, clear again. The relief on her face was only eclipsed by her grief at seeing you like that.
“We really do have to stop meeting like this,” you breathed, and she shook her head at you, her breath shuddering in fear as she looked at you. You were here, you were with her, you were safe. It was over, she reminded herself, it was all over. You sat up, shaking your head a bit. She rubbed your back slightly and you groaned, leaning into her hand ever so slightly.
Morticia watched the interaction in shock. You really were letting her close, very close. You let her touch you. She looked at the both of you.
“I- I thought you were teasing, Ophelia I didn’t know you actually let her-“ you crawled off the woman’s lap, shooting up and running to the adjoined bathroom. Morticia cringed as she heard you wretching, the telltale sign of your body rejecting what she had given you, or you were sick from the vision. She heard you gasp for breath, and swallowed down the guilt. She hadn’t meant to hurt you, she really hadn’t. She wanted to calm you down, help you relax a bit, get out of your head, but when you made her mad, she had lost sight of it all. She always did. SHe always had to have the upper hand. If she didn’t then, then bad things happened.
She swallowed, staring at the ground as she heard the sink run. Nothing happened for a moment, both women could just hear the water running as Larissa glared at your sister. Eventually it shut off, and you appeared in the doorway. There were tears in your eyes. Morticia swallowed. She hadn’t seen you cry in years, you never cried in front of her.
“Never. Never do that again.” You rasped, and she shook her head.
“I’m so sorry,” she whispered, and you shook your head.
“I don’t care, promise me, promise me you will never do that again.” You said, your voice rough. She swallowed, nodding.
“I won’t.” She said, and you sighed, leaning on the doorway and holding your head. You looked absolutely ragged.
“What, how much did you see?” You asked her, and she swallowed, glancing to Larissa. “Oh, now you give a fuck about how much of my personal feeling and experiences you wrench out of my body! What did you fucking see, Morticia?” You fumed, and she cried, shaking her head. She looked down, tears in her eyes as she tried to fight the image back. “You were so little,” She rasped, and you swallowed.
“Morticia,” you tried, and she shook her head.
“FIFTEEN!” She screamed, and you took a deep breath in.
“Fifteen.” You admitted, and she sobbed.
“I- I was complaining about Gomez’ bad flirting and Larissa’s grades and you were, that is what they did to you?” She asked you, looking at you in horror. You sighed deeply.
“Ask me again.” You swallowed. You couldn’t look at Lariss yet, she had seen too much, she had seen into your very soul, into how long you had been hers. It was a terrifying thing.
“What?” She rasped, and you nodded.
“Ask me why I don’t mind- why I like when Larissa touches me.” You sighed, closing your eyes for a moment. Larissa looked to you, her own eyes wide. Seeing you like that, how you were touched, not even touched, handled like an object, it broke something in her. Yet even then you were trying to protect her, the seer in the room telling you exactly what you would do. With the way you reacted, with the way you cared for her after the other night, after that man tried to- it made so much sense, and it made her sick.
“Why do you like when she touches you?” Morticia whispered, and you smiled sadly.
“Because you fed me her warmth,” you sighed. “I had seen her before because of you, but a little over a year after that, hers were the first visions you gave me, when you were trying to- when you came for me.” You sighed. You walked over, sitting on the floor with both women. “I’ve known her for a very long time, even if she hasn’t known me.” You said. “I know how her heart beats, the beauty of her smile. You fed me her comfort when you had none to give me, I- I know the feeling she had when she looked at you.” You said softly. Larissa’s heart shattered. That was why, that was shy it had hurt you so much when she compared you to your sister. You knew what it felt like when she was in love with her, when she hated Morticia for how much she loved her. “If it wasn’t for her I likely never would have talked to you again.” You admitted. “I wouldn’t know my niece or nephew.” You sighed. “I certainly wouldn’t come here, hell, I may not even be alive.” You sighed. “So yes, I am comfortable with her touching me, and I know that is hard for you. I’m sorry,” you said softly, and Morticia shook her head.
“You shouldn’t have to apologize.” She swallowed, and you smiled sadly.
“I wish I could hug you without being terrified I’ll show you something you can’t unsee. But I can’t. I can with her. She isn’t connected the way you and I are.” You explained softly. The woman nodded. “You and I, we will always be connected. Neither of us had a choice in that. When you chose to show me her, you showed me someone I could find comfort in without the fear of them seeing into me.” You whispered, and she nodded. You could feel Larissa’s eyes on you, and when you finally turned to look at her, your head tilting up slightly to see her, she fought the urge to take you into her arms and hold you until all the pain in your eyes disappeared.
“I really did always pick her, didn’t I?” She asked you, and you nodded.
“Yes. You did.” You sighed, and Larissa looked between the both of you. You hummed, looking to your sister. “Would you like to explain it, or should I, Tich?” You asked your sister, and she nodded. She looked to the white haired woman next to you, swallowing.
“When Ophelia was, dying, after what that place did to her, I wanted her to know what the outside world was like, what people, people that were good, were like. What the people I cared about were like. So I showed her you. She’s seen countless visions of you, a lot of Gomez too, but she didn’t respond to Gomez like she responded to you. It was like fate, I could get her to wake up with you, sometimes.” Morticia said, and the woman gasped, looking to you.
“You brought me back.” You smiled. “When I thought there was no beauty in this world, you brought me back.” You said, and Larissa swallowed, looking at you.
“I don’t know what to say.” She admitted, and you smiled.
“That’s alright. I wouldn’t either.” You admitted.
“You knew her too, of course.” Morticia said, and the both of you looked at her confused.
“What?” You said, and Larissa just shook her head.
“You never talked about having a sister, I would know.” She said dryly, and Morticia laughed.
“No, but I did have a pen pall in England. One who’s writing you became a bit obsessed with.” She teased, and your brows shot up as Larissa blushed deeply.
“Oh my god,” she breathed, and you stared at your sister.
“WHAT?” You repeated, and she laughed.
“Your poetry, Larissa would beg me for your poetry.” She said, and it was your turn to blush. “She would tell me she felt she knew the soul of the person who wrote it.” Morticia chuckled, and you shook your head, utterly shocked.
“Said soul was half dead.” You reminded her, and your sister laughed a bit.
“I had no idea.” Larissa swallowed, looking to you. It all made sense. Sometimes when you spoke it felt as though your words were familiar, this was why. This was why the way you spoke often felt like something she had known before. She had.
“Neither did I.” You said softly, and she stared at you for a moment.
“There was one, it broke my heart, it was about a bird watching an angel,” she whispered. You hummed, thinking for a moment.
“You.” You said, and her eyes went wide. “I was watching you.” You admitted, and she swallowed.
“Oh,” she breathed, her face flushing, and you nodded, your own heart rate picking up at the implied meaning.
“Yes, I- well done Morticia.” You sighed, shaking your head as you turned to your sister.
“I may have, not treated her right, I still don’t, but you, I could give her you.” She said softly, and you blinked a few times at your sister. So that was how she viewed it. You never could quite understand your sister’s view of things, but you did understand that. She wanted to help, it just so often went wrong. You yawned, the drain from it all getting to you, and Morticia nodded her head, standing.
“I should head home.” She said, and you nodded, standing as well. You offered a hand to Larissa, without thinking. The action made her blush. Even instinctually you were considerate.
“Alright. I- I’ll come around, soon.” You said, and the woman nodded.
“Bye Issa.” She teased, and you rolled your eyes as the woman scoffed.
“Goodbye, Mrs. Addams.” She returned, and you chuckled at the eye roll your sister gave. She turned to go, but you stopped her.
“Hey Tich?” You said, and she turned, looking to you. You sighed, walking up to her and taking her hand for a moment, the action shocking her. She looked down at your hands in amazement, smiling teary eyed as you squeezed once before letting go. She looked up at you, unsure what to say. It was a step. She had learned, today. You both had. You were never exactly sure where the two of you stood, but for now, it seemed like it might have been alright.
“I love you.” She whispered, and you sighed deeply, pain flickering over your eyes again for a moment.
“I-” You began, and she shook her head, hushing you, before holding herself up high.
“No, no not now. I know how you are about those words, wait.” She said, and you closed your eyes for a moment in relief. Larissa watched in shock as the woman went over to her purse, pulling out a pair of gloves. Your eyes softened, your head tilting slightly at the gesture. “I- it is never my intention to hurt you,” She swallowed. “It never has been, ever. I just- I simply-” She tried, unable to find the words.
“I know,” You said softly, and tears filled your sister’s eyes.
“You know,” She breathed, pulling on the glove and tentatively holding her hand out to you. You took a deep breath in, nodding tentatively and allowing her to cup your face. She gasped as she did, a slight laugh leaving her lips. “I forgot how warm you always are.” She hummed, and you chuckled.
“It’s for the plants.” You explained, and she rolled her eyes, shaking her head.
“Of course it is.” She smiled, and you pulled away, sitting back down on the floor when the woman turned to go, looking to you and Larissa one more time before she went.
She left, heading to the waiting car, you assumed, leaving you and Larissa alone. As soon as the woman left you melted, and Larissa inhaled sharply seeing your exhaustion and need for rest show so fully. The tall woman looked at you unsure, still sitting on the floor with you.
“Are you, alright?” She asked you, and you looked at her, raising your brows.
“I’m no longer drunk or under the effects of my sister’s potions, if that’s what you’re asking.” You said, and she nodded.
“You ah, you don’t have to worry about anything that you said, I won’t, I wouldn’t hold it against you.” She said, and you sighed, nodding.
“She likes when she gets the upper hand on me, I pissed her off, I should have stopped before she started asking me questions, I’m sorry.” You apologized, and she shook her head.
“You don’t have to apologize.” She whispered, and you looked at her.
“Larissa I-“
“How do you think of me?” She rushed, and your eyes went wide. It had already been more than you had talked to her in over a week. You hadn’t even looked at her much, let alone spoken to her. Now she was close again, so, so close, and practically offering the comfort you so desperately needed.
“Larissa, I don’t think that I-” you tried, but the woman just shook her head. She needed to try. She hadn’t been close to you in far too long, she needed you again. Especially after seeing you in that hell, she needed to know that you were alright.
“I know everything else. I used to read your writing until I fell asleep at night, I used to think, of the woman writing it. Of what she would look like, sound like.” She said, and you took a deep inhale in.
“I hope I don’t disappoint.” You tried to joke, and she just shook her head.
“No, you are more than I could have ever imagined.” She breathed, and you blushed. You looked away, white and pink flowers blooming in your hair. Her breath hitched. She had seen those colors before, this wasn’t red, you weren’t, you weren’t there, but this was something. After the other night she feared you would never talk to her again. You looked at her, watching her worried expression. She was panicked, she didn’t know where she stood.
“I’m not going to kick you out.” You sighed, and her eyes went back to yours. “If i wanted you to leave i would have asked you to.” You sighed, laying back on the floor. She just watched you, unsure. She felt like she didn’t to now what to say, what to do. She had gotten so close, but she had also ruined it last time.
“I’m sorry.” You said softly, staring at the fire as you laid on the floor. “You were hurt, I should have given you more grace.” You sighed, and she looked at you in sheer amazement.
“You’re nothing like her.” She breathed, and you turned to her, your grey eyes meeting blue. “God, you’re nothing like her.” She whispered, and you swallowed. “Please I, I’m sorry.” She breathed. You stared for a moment, deciding. She breathed, crawling closer to you. You sat up to meet her, staring into her eyes, swirling with uncertainly, and, hope. “I just found out I’ve been looking for you since I was school aged, I don’t want, please I don’t want your sister to be what you think of when you look at me.” She whispered, looking down at the ground. You hummed.
“Well then you know exactly how I feel.” You breathed, and she swallowed, looking back at you. “Who am I?” You asked her, and she furrowed her brows, looking at you strangely.
“Ophelia,” she swallowed, and you continued.
“Who am I?” You asked again, and she looked at you for a moment before finding the words.
“Your name is Ophelia Florere. You can create the most beautiful wonders with just a thought. You hate physical contact, but you want to be touched.” She began, doing her best to meet your eyes through the intensity. “You wrote beautiful, heartbreaking poetry. You’ve saved countless lives. You’ve lived through horrific pain. You like teaching, you’re a natural at it, I’ve never seen the students like they were with you in the conservatory.” She breathed, and your eyes widened a fraction. “You smile like a madwoman and you dance when you think no one is around. You can sketch beautifully, and you’re absolutely brilliant. You protect those you love with such ferocity it makes me, it makes me wonder what that must feel like.” She said softly, her throat tightening. She wanted to say it, she needed to say it. Even if there was fear like she never felt, she needed to say it. “I had a taste of it, just a taste and it- it’s addictive. You’re addictive.” She said breathlessly. “You’re tempting in ways that drive me mad, and I know, I know I shouldn’t. I shouldn’t even be saying this right now, but I want you, I want you to know what it feels like, what it feels like to look at you.” She whispered. You blinked, your eyes watering as she spoke, your breath stolen. “You’re beautiful.” She said softly, and she watched as a single tear rolled down your cheek.
“And you think I’m a poet.” You tried to laugh it off, looking away as the tears came. Her hand came to your face, brushing them away almost instinctually. Your breath hitched in surprise. Touch was always strange, but hers, hers almost felt good. It did feel good. You nearly cried as you leaned slightly into her hand.
“Will you let me touch you?” She asked, and you swallowed. “I, I won’t ask for more, I just, after today, after seeing that. Let me hold you again?” She asked, and you looked up at her. “Just for a moment, and I’ll let it be then- I’ll give it up after, I just want to feel you, I want to feel that you’re alright. That everything is alright.” She finished, her voice fading into nothing. You placed your hand over hers, bringing her attention to you. You couldn’t speak, you didn’t have the words.
She watched in shock as you crawled to her, placing your hand on her chest and pushing her down, laying her on the ground. Her breath hitched as you leaned in, she wanted you to kiss her. She wanted to taste you again. She wanted to feel you writhe for her, to feel all of your skin pressing against her. Yet she had made a mistake last time, the only time you had let her that close. A mistake she paid for.
More than anything, she just wanted you close.
You laid her back flat on the floor, next to the fire, laying down next to her. Her breath hitched as you tucked yourself between her chest and her arm, resting your face just over her heart. Your skin was still covered, other than your hands, the turtleneck and long skirt leaving almost none exposed. It helped, the barrier between you two easing your mind. You couldn’t handle your bare skin on hers, no matter how much you craved it right now.
“It isn’t so bad, when it’s you.” You whispered, and she closed her eyes, tears coming to them. You were close, she couldn’t touch your skin, but she could hold you. You would allow her that much.
“That woman…” she trailed, and you hummed, it didn’t take much to know who she was referring to.
“Georgiana.” You answered the unspoken question. “She was good too. Not the same, she was like family, but,” you breathed in deeply, trying to find the words. Her hand wrapped around your waist tentatively, and you shivered, but almost snuggled in deeper. “But you are safe, like she was.” You whispered, your eyelids growing heavy.
The woman holding you could have sobbed. Safe. Safe you had called her. She didn’t think she deserved it. She didn’t think anyone did, after what the world had done to you, but the way your warmth pressed against her, it lit a fire in her. She would keep you safe, as much as she could, as long as you would let her.
“Is she, was she…” she trailed, and you hummed. You knew the question, and while the answer was likely yes. In all likelihood Georgiana was a face of the spirit that had appeared the other night, the spirit of Larissa’s aunt, you didn’t have the mind to think of it right now. You were exhausted, thoroughly exhausted.
“I’m tired.” You admitted instead. She didn’t dare look at you, not when you were this close. Her hands wrapped around you shakily, holding you to her. You didn’t react, not that she could tell. She couldn’t see the tears threatening to come to your eyes.
“Then rest,” She husked. You broke, you had spent your entire life fighting, hiding, it was too much, she was too much. “I’ll be here. I- no one will come. You’re safe.” She whispered, and she could have sworn she felt tears through her shirt as you nodded a little, curling into her slightly more as you closed your eyes, falling asleep almost instantly in her hold.
Notes:
Discord: https://discord.gg/NRUB6xYu
KoFi: https://ko-fi.com/miss_v_257
Chapter 18: Seen in the Haze
Summary:
Larissa finds out more about Ophelia’s life, and what exactly has made her the way she is, and why she is so adamant about the way she operates.
WARNING: Violence/Implied Assault/Intimacy Issue/Mentioned death
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
You shifted, waking up as the fire danced next to you, sunlight beginning to stream in. It was Saturday again, a little over a week from when you had started avoiding her, and now you were in her arms.
Then you realized you were on her, on the floor, your arms wrapped around her as she held you close. You swallowed, looking up at her from her chest. She was still asleep. You breathed in slowly in amazement as you stared at her. She was so beautiful, her face smoothed and relaxed, at peace. The woman was always worried. Worried about control, about what others might think, about you. Yet now, she was at peace.
You swallowed, sitting up carefully, making sure not to disturb the woman. You silently extricated yourself from her grasp, freezing as she shivered and her brows furrowed a bit. You felt the ache in your chest as you did it, closing your eyes for a moment to breathe. It made you feel guilty to leave her, you realized. You shouldn’t, the two of you, you didn’t know what the two of you had, but you knew you didn’t like leaving her.
You stood, making yourself a cup of tea silently before sitting by the fire, staring into the flames in search of an answer. You didn’t know. You just didn’t know. You swallowed, trying to ignore the need beginning to burn in you. You wanted her to hold you, to touch every inch of your skin. You wanted to trace hers, to kiss every bit until she couldn’t breathe.
But you were scared.
You wanted to lie in her arms, nothing in between you, but fear paralyzed you. So you curled in on yourself, hating the way you felt. You hated the way your skin burned for her and your mind just kept going back to that night. To her hands and lips trailing down you. It had never felt like that before. It had felt good, certainly, but never like that. You dug your nails into the meat of your scarred arms, curling into a ball in front of the fire and gritting your teeth. You had to forget it. You had to let it go. You didn’t get to have that, you had a job to do, a life to live that would likely end far sooner than it should. It would be cruel. You didn’t deserve her comfort.
“Ophelia?” She whispered, her voice husky with sleep, and you just shook your head. “Ophelia are you alright?” She asked you, and you sniffed, trying to fight back tears you didn’t even have a reason for. You didn’t even have a good enough reason to weep for her. How dare you show yourself like this, she had been through enough already, you knew that better than anyone.
“Mmm, yes, fine, why?” You rasped, and you could hear the second she caught you.
You were crying. She came to you, sitting behind you and wrapping her hands around yours, trying to pull them away from your already marred skin. You shook your head, gritting your teeth harder as the tears ran down your cheeks. Your nails dug in harder, stinging even through your sleeves. She rubbed your hands slightly, hers covering yours completely, and you paused.
“Let go.” She whispered in your ear, her chin nearly resting on your shoulder. You shook your head, your entire body shaking. Yet she wrapped her arms around you, pulling you close. You whimpered as you felt her pull you between her kneeling thighs, the sensation of her wrapped around you nearly making your sob.
Her head rested on your shoulder, and you tensed for a moment. She exhaled shakily, her hands rubbing slow circles on your forearms until you started to let go, little by little. Eventually she rested her hands over yours again, slowly pulling yours away from your arms.
“That’s it,” she murmured, and you swallowed, doing your very best not to cry out. “Let go.” She said again, and you swallowed, your hands finally relaxing. She was wrapped around you, warm against your back as the fire roared in front of you. “What’s wrong?” She whispered, and you shook your head. “Ophelia,” she murmured, and you shuddered. You flipped your hands, placing yours over hers, and wrapped them around you.
She gasped, you, wanted her to hold you?
“Ophelia, you don’t have to-“ she started, but the broken whisper that came from you stopped her in her tracks.
“God I hate how much I want it.” You shook, and she froze.
“What?” She breathed. She couldn’t have heard that right.
“I, hate , how much I crave being touched by you,” you admitted. “Held by you, the softness, your strength, your grace, good god Larissa , you’ve broken me.” You breathed. Her own breath shuddered past her lips. Her heart was racing, her name on your tongue, like that, it made her heat up in a way she didn’t know she could. “Last night you- the things you say.” You swallowed, shaking your head.
She couldn’t breathe, she had gone too far. She had practically confessed to the fact that she wanted nothing more than for you to be hers. Now you hated her for it. You would hate her, reject her just like the others had. Or worse, you would take what you wanted and leave, making her think she had a chance at more.
You felt the tears land on your shoulder and swallowed, bracing yourself. You leaned away from her slightly, making the woman try to cover the near sob that left her lips. Instead, you brought your hand behind you, turning so you could lean against her while you looked up at her, cupping the side of her face and forcing her to look down into your eyes.
Her breath was stolen when her eyes met yours, storm clouds of grey swirling with such passion they almost looked black. You had looked at her like that once before, when you were writhing beneath her. Seeing the same look again made her lips part as she leaned in slightly, her body aching for you, giving in of its own accord.
“It makes me need you.” You whispered, and she shuddered. She leaned in a bit, had you forgiven her? Is that what this was? Then the room seemed to shift.
Larissa’s breath caught in fear as the walls around her seemed to fade, almost as if a watercolor painting had been left out in the rain. She looked around, scared as the room changed, revealing one much different. When she looked back to you, in her arms, she gasped as she realized you weren’t there. She cried out, looking for you, something was wrong, something was very wrong. The walls seemed to melt to reveal an old apartment, decedent despite the paint peeling from the walls. The place was warm, light streaming in through a cool breeze from open curtains, flowing in the wind. It almost seemed, peaceful.
“Congratulations Mrs. Addams!” A voice rang out, as you walked in, a glass of champagne in your hand, a smile on your face. You were younger, maybe twenty, but Larissa gasped as she looked at you, you were gorgeous, dressed up to the nines. Morticia walked in after you, in a black floor length gown, her wedding dress, Larissa realized. Yet the woman’s eyes never left you.
You wore floor length midnight blue, layers of silk dripping and rippling from your body as if it was draped on your very skin. Larissa swallowed, the neckline was still a high boatneck, also loose, revealing just a touch of skin. You looked like a dark Grecian goddess, Hecate in the flesh, your always at least half up curls flowing down your back, ringlets adorned with jewelry as you brushed an errant strand back, your opera length gloves, coming almost to the shoulder of your sleeveless dress, matching the fabric perfectly.
You were stunning. You were always beautiful, but like this, your waist cinched into place, showing off every curve of your body without ever baring your skin, you were the most striking thing she had ever seen.
“I wish you could have come to the ceremony in the states.” Your sister sighed, and you rolled your eyes.
“Please, and risk ruining your day the moment the Frump’s saw me? I wouldn’t dare.” You said, and your sister nodded. Larissa just watched it all, mystified. It seemed like you were closer then. You still wouldn’t touch her, you wore your gloves and kept your distance, yet you looked more comfortable with her.
“Well, it's time for your gift.” You sighed, and your sister gasped.
“You’re allowing Gomez and I to stay here for our honeymoon, is that not enough?” She asked you, and you smiled.
“And I expect the entire place cleaned after you leave!” You yelled, going into another room to get something. Larissa watched as Morticia looked around the room, going to the window. “And here we are.” You sighed, walking into the room and handing your sister an envelope. Your sister opened it, before gasping.
“Ophelia, where did you- how did- this is too much!” She breathed taking out a check. You just shook your head, smiling at the woman.
“You will never have to ask your parents for money, and I know the Addams’ are well off, but still, this is equivalent to what you would have gotten from the Frump’s estate.” You said, and she gaped down at the check.
“Ophelia, this is, this is three million.” She breathed, and you nodded.
“It is.” You said, and Larissa’s jaw practically hit the floor. You were giving your sister three million dollars, at twenty one. Morticia and Gomez had married at twenty one, meaning you had made millions by the time you were that age. It was enough to make her nearly gasp in shock.
“Why- they threatened you, didn’t they?” Your sister swallowed, looking to you. You smiled sadly.
“I would never ask you to leave your parents, but, if you continue to see me, it is entirely possible that they will cut you off from your inheritance.” You swallowed, “So if they do, you will be alright.” You said, and your sister looked to you.
“C- can I hug you?” She asked, and you smiled, opening your arms. Your sister hugged you tight, making you laugh.
“I'm a millionaire!” She breathed, at twenty one you had made your sister a millionaire. “And i'm in Paris!” She yelled, and you laughed.
Larissa watched as the scene shifted again, this time you were sitting at a desk, once again the walls seemed to melt away, revealing a different apartment. This one was smaller, and you were slightly older now, bent over the desk and frantically scribbling something down, looking through piles of books to do so. The walls were different this time, the paint also worn, but still beautiful. She could hear a clock tower off in the distance strike midnight.
“Come to bed.” A woman groaned, and Larissa’s eyes snapped to a woman, laying in your bed, staring at you. She swallowed as she realized the woman was topless, laying in just her underwear in your bed. Her eyes snapped back to yours, watching as you waved the woman off. Larissa could feel your emotions again, your frustration. She couldn’t tell if the frustration was for what you were working on or the woman, but either way she felt something ugly rear its head in her. Jealousy, that was jealousy.
“I'm almost done.” You murmured.
“That's what you said an hour ago.” The woman groaned in annoyance. You shook your head.
“I need to finish this, Leïla.” You sighed, and the woman glared at you. It was quiet, late. Larissa could tell, this was a conversation you had many times before, the woman was tired, and by the way you rolled your neck and shoulders, so were you.
“Do you love me?” The woman asked, and Larissa’s eyes went wide as she stilled.
This was too private, too intimate. This was a vision she felt that she shouldn’t be a part of.
“Leïla,” you sighed, hanging your head slightly as you sat silently for a moment, and the woman glared at you.
“ Ophelia .” She swallowed, and you hung your head in your hands.
“Please, Leïla, not tonight, I just need to finish this.” You groaned, and the woman seethed.
“Do you love me?” The woman, Leïla, asked again. Larissa could see the exhaustion in your body, she couldn’t see your face, but it wasn’t hard to guess. That and she could, she could feel the exhaustion. Being in your visions, it was like your emotions were pressed up against her own. She could feel the aura. She could feel you .
“Leïla.” You sighed, and the woman stood, pulling on a shirt. Love was something you never said, you had an adamant opposition to saying the phrase she wanted. Larissa had seen it in action with your own sister even, and this woman, this woman pestering you late at night was asking for it. Larissa felt her jaw tense, how dare she.
“Ophelia.” The woman growled again, walking over to you. Larissa could see as your shoulders tensed. She could feel the atmosphere of your emotions shifting, the tension crawling into her body as well. The woman walked to you, slamming your books and throwing them off your desk.
“What are you-!” You jumped, standing up and turning to face her. “Leïla, these are important things! This could save lives! You can’t just-“ The woman slapped you across the face, making Larissa gasp as you turned your head away, grunting as you took the blow. “No,” you whispered, and she went across the room, grabbing books from the shelves, throwing them on the floor. The reaction made it very clear that this had been a long, long time coming.
“I am your girlfriend , I don’t care about some nameless person that your latest ridiculous tirade might help! I care about you , I want you in bed with me!” She screamed, and the way you flinched made Larissa want to physically put herself between the two of you. You tried to go to her, only for the woman to grab you by the throat, backing you up to the bed.
“Leïla!” You choked, and Larissa gaped as the woman threw you onto the bed. She tried to get up, to go to you, but as always, she was trapped motionless in the vision. She knew what this would make you think of, she knew it the second she felt the cold fear brushing up against the familiar shield of protection you always gave her in these visions.
“You’re going to give me exactly, exactly what I want, until your mouth is just as tired as the rest of you.” The woman growled, and you crawled away from her.
“Leïla, I- I don’t want-“ you swallowed. Larissa’s eyes went wide, you were terrible with touch, even with those you were close too, if this was why it had gotten worse…
“Tell me you love me.” The woman spat, and you tried to crawl back, only to have Leïla pin you down. She glared at you, spitting in your face when you didn’t immediately answer. You gasped, crying out when she slapped you again. Larissa gaped at it, you weren’t fighting back. She knew you could, you were incredibly strong, not to mention the abilities you had, she had seen you bring down grown men with a flick of your finger, yet you didn’t even try to stop her.
“Please stop, Leïla- please, please stop!” You whispered, tears starting to run down your face. Larissa could feel your fear, the terror that came with the woman touching you like this.
“Fuck you! You’re a pathetic work obsessed bitch!” The woman screamed, and you cried, sobbing as she continued her tirade, screaming in your face. Larissa watched as your body went limp, you didn’t fight it, you just let her scream, let her hit you. She wanted to stand, but it felt like she was rooted to the ground.
The room shifted again, this time the woman was gone, and the room was destroyed, things everywhere. You were standing in the middle of it, your arms wrapped in bandages as you paced back and forth. A knock sounded at your door.
“Go away.” You gritted, and Larissa furrowed her brows, looking up at you. She still felt trapped, like she couldn’t move from the floor.
“Let me in.” She heard Morticia’s voice ring out. You swallowed, growling as you walked over to the door, opening it and glaring at your sister.
“Tich, I don’t want your help.” You sighed, and your sister burst in.
“She did this to you?” She breathed, and you swallowed.
“It, it wasn’t like that,” you tried, but your sister just shook her head.
“Ophelia, I know when you’re lying.” She gritted, and you shook your head.
“It was- it was me.” You stuttered, and your sister stared at you, shocked.
“What?” She breathed, and you swallowed.
“It’s my fault.” You said, and she came to you. You stepped back immediately, not letting her touch you. The difference between this and the last vision Larissa had seen with your sister nearly broke her heart.
“Oh my god,” Morticia breathed, and you said nothing, just swallowing. “Oh my god what did you do?” Morticia asked, and you shook your head, tears coming to your eyes.
Larissa glared at your sister. She could feel the pain, the fear you were trying to swallow down, you needed comfort, not this. The way Morticia looked at you made her burn.
“I didn’t mean to, I- she was, her hands, I couldn’t feel anything but her hands and she was, she was hitting me and I couldn’t move and-“ you were crying, tears streaming down your face as you panicked, your breath coming in short, achy bursts. The sound was heartbreaking, almost as heartbreaking as the sight of you trying to hold it together was.
There was a knock at the door and a woman burst in, one neither of you recognized if the way you reacted in shock was any indication of it.
“Excuse me, this is my apartment you can’t just-“ you began, stepping in front of your sister protectively, even now you guarded her.
“Are you alright?” The woman asked, stepping up to you, and you immediately backed away from her, holding your arms up defensively.
“Step back, right now.” You warned, and the woman froze.
“It’s me, little flower.” The woman whispered, and you stilled. The second relief flooded your face, Larissa felt as her brows furrowed in confusion.
“Morticia, I need you to go.” You said steadily, and your sister just stared at you.
“I- I don’t know what you did, Ophelia, but you need to find a way to fix it.” The woman said, shaking her head before storming out of the room, slamming the door behind her.
There was a moment where you and the remaining woman just stared at each other, a second of you looking like you were about to collapse before she did something that made Larissa’s jaw drop. The woman flicked her fingers, almost as if she was relieving tension, casting off a burden of some kind, and in the smoothest shift Larissa had ever seen, all of a sudden the short blonde standing in front of you was a very tall brunette with green eyes and a warm smile. Her hair was curly, streaks of grey in it to match the smile lines around her eyes, showing her age. Larissa watched as you sobbed, going to the woman who immediately scooped you up in her arms, easing you over to the bed where she pulled you onto her lap, letting you just cry as you clutched onto her for dear life.
Larissa gaped, she had never seen you this close to anyone, ever. Not once. Even with your niece you were more cautious than this. A shapeshifter you trusted that implicitly, she had an idea of who the woman was, the only person she could be.
“Hush, I’ve got you, darling, I’ve got you.” Georgiana whispered, and you buried your head in her chest, only sobbing harder.
“I didn’t mean to, please, Georgiana, you have to believe me, I didn’t mean to hurt her! I didn’t mean to! Please !” You panicked, and the woman just hushed you, squeezing you close and kissing the top of your messy curls, holding you in the same way Larissa’s aunt Victoria had held her as a child. The parallel nearly made the grown woman cry.
“I know, I know, it’s alright.” She whispered, and you just cried, not letting go as you cried into her. Eventually the tears subsided, leaving you sniffing as you tried to pull yourself together in the only place you knew to be safe, Georgiana’s arms. “The woman was, it’s over now. It was taken care of.” She said, and you froze looking up at her.
“Oh god, I killed her?” You whimpered, and she instantly realized her mistake.
“Ophelia,” she worried, but you were up and across the room in a moment, putting as much distance between the two of you as you could, staring at your hands in utter horror. “Ophelia, listen to me, she attacked you, your instincts kicked in, it is not your fault.” The woman commanded, standing and taking a slow step towards you.
“You shouldn’t be here,” you rasped, and Larissa felt her heart shatter as the woman stilled. You really had always been this protective. “You shouldn’t be here- if I’m dangerous- I- Georgiana I could hurt people!” You cried, and the woman froze for a moment, looking as if she was evaluating something. She tilted her head slightly, biting her lip for a moment. Silence filled the room.
“Come work for me.” She said, and your eyes went wide as you stared at her in utter shock.
“What?” You asked incredulously, and she put her hands on her hips, staring down at you.
“Come work for me.” She repeated, and you looked at her like she had lost her mind.
“I just killed a woman and you want me to work with children?” You nearly yelled. “Children! Unstable children!”
“You just defended yourself, I want you to keep doing that. But I want you to do it for others.” She said, and you just shook your head. Larissa could feel the anxiety pounding in you, taking up every bit of you as you panicked.
“Defend other- defend others !” You cried, and the woman sighed, staring at you intensely. “I owe you everything, you know that, I will do anything you ask of me, but this? You- you know what I can do and you want me to be around children?” You squawked. There was a moment where the woman looked like she might give up, a moment where Larissa wasn’t sure what would happen.
“I want you to help me.” The woman said, and instantly your behavior changed. You stood, walking over to the woman cautiously. She may present herself differently, but she never changed her height, not to make herself shorter at least, you always looked up at her. Even more so than you would have to for Larissa. “I couldn’t help her, and I- I can’t help them all, Ophelia, not on my own.” She admitted, and you furrowed your brows.
“Georgiana, I- really ?” You asked, and the woman nodded, swallowing down something so desperate it made Larissa’s heart stop. “Me? You want my help? But I- you have Jenkins, or, or anyone? A teleporter would make a better aid then I would, I- I’m a fucking living bio-weapon, I’m the last thing-“ you rushed, but she took your hand, forcing you to look at her again.
“Jenkins is a fighter, I have a few of them. I need a genius.” She whispered, and you looked up at the older woman with such compassion that Larissa thought you may burst. She could feel it, she could feel the love you had for this woman. “I need you .” She said, and you nodded.
There was something unspoken between the two of you. It was as if you both had the same idea in your minds, something you held together, but was too precious to whisper out loud.
“We’ll help them.” You breathed, pulling the woman close so you could hug her again. Her hands ran over your bandaged arms carefully, before wrapping around you and holding you supportively.
“You’re going to save her, Ophelia. It will take you a long time, but someday you’ll find my niece.” She whispered, and you buried your head in her chest, seeking the comfort the woman provided for you.
“You say it like you already know it will happen.” You hummed, and she just rubbed your back.
“I don’t, but I know you.” She said, and you shook your head. “You’ll get every single shapeshifter in the world out if you have to.” She said, and you pulled away, looking up at her.
“You’re my family, Georgiana.” You sighed. “I’d burn the world if it meant keeping your kind safe.” You swore, and both shapeshifters felt the weight of your words, even if only one of them had really been there at the time.
Larissa tried to get up, to go to you, but the walls melted away again, this time changing to ones that were more familiar, this was, this was her room. She watched in amazement as she appeared on her bed, gently stroking your hair. This was a memory of her, or a vision, she realized. Your body was limp, and the room felt cold despite the roaring fire. This was when you were asleep, when she was taking care of the still body, your very soul seemingly vacant.
“Please,” she whispered, and Larissa gasped as she realized she was watching a vision of herself, one that you were remembering, dreaming about. “Please come back to me.” She whispered, and Larissa watched as the walls morphed once more.
It was different this time, less sure. This wasn’t a memory, she realized, this was a vision. The fire was out in her room, and you were sitting on her bed, waiting for her. She gulped as she saw you wearing one of the three t-shirts she owned, not that she would ever let anyone see them. She flushed as she realized you weren’t wearing anything else. You looked to the door, smiling wickedly as she walked in, again, only this time the real Larissa’s jaw dropped as she realized you were having a vision of her, naked.
She wore nothing but her underwear, bra, and a short silk robe, one she allowed to fall off her shoulders as she walked to you. You hummed, slipping off the bed and walking to her.
“You look well.” The vision version of herself said, and you laughed.
“Says the goddess in front of me.” You sighed, shaking your head and walking to her, bringing her to her own bed. She hissed as she sat, and you looked to her. “Tense?” You hummed, and she scoffed.
“I’m fine.” She said quickly, and you raised a brow, stepping in front of her. Larissa gaped as you stood, your hands ever so gently coming to her jaw, bringing her in for a slow kiss.
“I’ll run you a bath later.” You whispered, placing your hands on her thighs and rubbing gently. She hissed, and you nodded. “Lay down, let me help you.” You said, and Larissa nearly whimpered as she watched herself be pampered by you. It was so casual, so tender, almost as if it was something you did regularly. Is that the world you were seeing right now? One where you did this regularly?
She watched as the vision of her took your jaw, kissing you gratefully. Then it almost seemed to flicker. A flash of the apartment from before, the ruined one, showed itself before the dream-like vision continued. You continued, climbing up onto the bed and laying the vision of Larissa down, beginning by kneeling at her feet, lifting one leg up and kissing her ankle, making the woman chuckle before it dissolved into a moan as you began working on her tired muscles.
The vision flickered again, to one of the old apartment, only it was still the two of you.
“What-“ you breathed, looking around. It flicked back, and you swallowed, once again on top of her, your hands pulling away slightly.
“Are you alright?” The vision asked you, and you hummed, looking about.
“Yes love why- oh.” You breathed, falling silent as you pulled away. “This isn’t real.” You sighed, closing your eyes and rubbing your head. “Of course it’s not, if it was I- you wouldn’t want, good lord.” You groaned, hiding your face. Yet the vision flickered again minutely before settling in the bedroom at Nevermore, with you both.
It seemed to skip and the vision of Larissa moaned as you hovered over her body, kissing her needily as her hands felt over your back, your own grabbing her thigh and wrapping her leg around your hips, pulling her closer and making the real Larissa gape. She could still feel the emotions brushing up against hers, and that, she could feel the need, the arousal, the lust, but that, it felt like love.
She swallowed, is this what you felt, or would one day feel, it was all so strange. She watched herself moan and writhe under you, blushing obscenely at the sounds you could pull from the vision of her.
“Say it,” the vision gasped, and she could see as your eyes clouded for a moment. “Say it.” The vision repeated, and you swallowed, looking at her unsure. You took a deep breath, finding something within yourself. You stared down at the woman, loosing yourself in the vision, it wasn’t real, even if it was you were notoriously difficult with that one little phrase. You swallowed, and the vision grabbed you by the throat, flipping you until you laid underneath her, her thighs straddling your hips.
“I- I love you.” You whispered, and the real Larissa gasped. You said it, you really did. The vision looked down at you, her eyes suddenly clouded.
“What?” She said, and you blinked up at her. Oh no.
“I, um, I love you.” You repeated, and she sneered, instantly getting off of you and retreating to the end of the bed.
“God, I wanted you to say- you wanted me- you WHAT?” She squawked, and you flinched at the sound, looking away. The way you covered yourself, trying to hide as much of your skin as possible, made the real Larissa want to wrap you up, even if she was currently staring in utter shock.
“I, I mean we’ve been doing this for three years now I-“ you stuttered, and the real Larissa gaped. Three years. In this world you had been with her for three years.
“You- you love me?” The vision laughed, and you bit back tears, looking down and away.
“I- I’m sorry.” You whispered, and the vision laughed.
“Sorry? You’re delusional.” She spat, and you flinched. “As if I could ever- get out!” She yelled, and watched as you scrambled from the bed, tripping over yourself and landing on the ground in your hurry. “Out!” She yelled again, and you nodded, picking yourself and rushing to the door. It wasn’t enough, the vision of her seethed as it looked at you. “You know what you are, don’t you?” She spat, and you froze. You tensed as she walked to you, not turning. “You’re a good distraction, Ophelia, but that’s all.” She said, her voice almost guilty for a moment, and you nodded.
“I know.” You breathed, your voice shaking. The real Larissa could hear it, laden with tears as you tried not to cry. Is this what the both of you would become, you were seeing it, she knew enough about visions after living with Morticia that she knew this meant it was possible, but it wasn’t assured.
“You’re close enough to your sister for me to feel something.” The vision breathed, and Larissa watched your entire body go rigid. “I’m sorry you thought it was anything else.” She said softly, and you finally turned, tears streaming down your face.
“That I thought- I thought!” You hissed, your face wet as your heart broke. “Fuck you, fuck you Larissa Weems, you cold heartless fucking bitch!” You screamed, and the real Larissa gasped as the vision version of her fumed.
“Like I care what another Frump freak says about me.” She spat defensively, and you stepped closer to the woman.
“That’s not my name.” You growled, your voice was low, and Larissa could feel the pain, the heartbreak fueling the anger.
“You may change it, but that is all you are,” the vision said, grabbing your arm and yanking you closer. “This is all you are!” She yelled, and you cried out, dropping to your knees as if in pain. Larissa gaped as the vision of her pushed you away, making you grunt as you scrambled away from it. “Want me to treat you like that? Hmmm? Want me to treat you like your sister liked? Do you like it too?” She spat, and you gritted your teeth.
You stood slowly, the pain like nothing you had ever felt. She came to you again, grabbing you by the jaw. You screamed and scratched at her arm, making the woman gasp and let go as your hands stung her.
“What the-“ she breathed, and you stared in horror at your own hands. Your blackened fingers were covered in the white milky juice of a Manchineel, it would have blistered her skin the second she touched you. The vision dropped to the floor, hissing as she clutched at her arm. “I’m sorry, oh god I’m so sorry-“ you breathed, rushing forward, and the woman scrambled backwards, grabbing about the desk until her hand closed around something. You rushed forward to her, panicking as the vision teared up, staring at her burning hand in searing pain. “I’m so sorry, I can fix it just let me-“ you gasped as something sunk into your chest, looking down and realizing with horror that it was one of your knives that she had found, left on the desk.
You choked, gasping at her as the pain registered. You fell back, hitting the floor, holding the wound closed with your hand. The vision gasped, looking at you.
“I- I didn’t mean-“ She stuttered, and you shook your head, tears beginning to run down your face as you looked up at the ceiling, gasping for air around the blade in your chest. “Ophelia, I’m so sorry!” The woman cried, horrified at what she had done. You just opened your other hand, offering it to her. You couldn’t look at her, just closing your eyes.
“Put- put my h-hand over the, oh fuck ,” you whimpered, and the real Larissa gasped in horror. She could feel the pain, the mental pain, even the physical pain, brushing up against her own feelings. It didn’t directly hurt her, but she was aware, intensely aware of it. “My, my hand, over the b- burn.” You panted, weakly offering it to her.
“What?” The vision gasped, and you looked to her, the fear and pain in your eyes clear. The vision teared up too, and you tried to shake your head, but hissed when you moved. The real Larissa felt her own eyes tearing up. She had seen you die before, she watched you fade from life, but that was under your own terms, this- she killed you. She could kill you?
“Don’t- don’t let me die having hurt you.” You begged, and both versions of the white haired woman sobbed, staring at you in shock. “Please, please let me heal you first.” You begged.
The real Larissa sobbed, and for the first time, your eyes snapped to her.
“Oh my god,” you breathed, and it was over. She woke up, her arms still around the real you, who jolted awake almost violently. You were gasping for air, looking up at the ceiling as tears began to dry on your face. You had been crying even in your sleep, she realized. She swallowed, her hand instinctively reaching to wipe the tears away, her other arm still wrapped around you on the floor. You jumped away from her touch, immediately standing and frantically searching for something.
“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry.” You repeated, your voice barely audible, trying to fight back more tears. You must have shared your dreams, one of them a very explicit vision of her, and one a creation of your own scarred mind and ability. You repeated your apology like a prayer, quickly finding your gloves and harshly yanking them on, taking away the one bit of skin Larissa had access too other than your face.
The woman sat up, panting harshly on the floor. Is that what it was like for you, is this what kept you from letting others close? You gritted your teeth, quickly moving about the room and frantically finding something to do.
“Please, I- I’m so sorry,” you repeated, fighting back the urge to rip your nails down your arms.
“How much of that, how much of that was real?” Larissa stuttered, and you swallowed, freezing at the table, your back to her as you tried to hide the reaction you were having.
“The, Ah, the the first, when I was speaking to you, that, that was me.” You admitted, and the woman stood, walking over to you. You kept your eyes forward and down on the table in front of you, bracing your covered hands on it and swaying slightly. She had seen you do this before, you were trying to calm yourself down, to force yourself to breathe.
“And, the others?” She asked you, stepping closer. You swallowed. “Memories, mostly.” You choked down, and you could feel as she again stepped closer, standing behind you. She was so close.
“ Ophelia ,” she breathed, and you shook your head, your eyes closing as tears came.
“A vision, and, and a darker one.” You swallowed. She stepped even closer, and you shook your head. “I’m so sorry, I didn’t realize I was sharing them.” You whispered, and she swallowed.
“Will that, will that happen one day?” She asked you, and you breathed in shakily, finally turning around. As you lifted your eyes to hers, you realized she was crying too. Your heart broke for her. You were used to seeing these things, and still they often affected you. Her, she had likely never had to deal with it before.
“It- I can see anything that is possible, which means it is possible.” You began, and her eyes widened slightly as her throat worked to fight back the tears coming. “That doesn’t mean it will happen.” You breathed, trying to comfort her despite your own racing heart.
“I- I saw it, I watched myself kill you!” She panicked, and you took a tentative step forward, gently reaching for her. You expected her to cry, to push you away. What you didn’t expect, was for the woman to pull you to her chest and tremble against you as she clutched onto you for dear life.
You froze, but you didn’t struggle in her grasp. Despite the pain, despite everything, it almost felt, pleasant. She felt safe, if that was a feeling you could even still have. You hadn’t been held like this since, since Georgiana died, but when Larissa did it, it was a wholly different feeling.
“Promise me you won’t ever let me do that,” she breathed, and you nodded, your arms tentatively wrapping around her. She gasped at the feeling and you sighed, leading her over to the bed. You didn’t even think as you sat her down on it, sitting next to her and holding her. You were quiet, just hushing her as you rocked her back and forth slightly.
“What you see if not assured.” You repeated softly, and she nodded.
“How many, how many times have you seen yourself die?” She asked you, and your breath stuttered as you thought.
“More than I care to remember. I see the darkest possible outcome of anything, no matter how unlikely.” You explained gently. “Just as my sister sees love, I see death.” You swallowed, falling silent for a moment. “But that’s not all I see.” You said. She took a deep breath in.
“No, it wasn’t.” She swallowed, a blush rising on her face.
“I’m sorry.” You said quietly, and she just shook her head. She laid down on the bed, her hand tentatively reaching for you. You sighed, laying down next to her, not removing your gloves.
“May I- please?” She breathed, her hand ghosting over your chest. Where you had been stabbed in the vision, you realized. Her hand flitted just above your left breast, the sensitive bit of skin that sent shivers down your spine as she traced your curves through your clothing.
You took a deep breath in, nodding slowly. She gently placed your hand over the spot, over your heart, feeling it beat. You shuddered.
“I’m sorry, I know it was likely mortifying for you to watch, please understand I have very little control over-“
“Stop apologizing.” She murmured, and your eyes snapped to hers. “Take you own advice.” She whispered, and as the woman laid there with you, just feeling your heartbeat, you were stunned into silence.
Notes:
Hello darlings! Please let me know what you think!!!
KoFi for tips: https://ko-fi.com/miss_v_257
Discord: https://discord.gg/2N8JFkWh
Chapter 19: There You Are
Summary:
Wednesday interrupts in an attempt to get you to clear your head, while barely managing to not berate her headmistress. When you finally return, Larissa sees you with almost all of your walls stripped down, only for her to make her way through the rest of them.
WARNINGS: Smut/implied former abusive relationships/severe self doubt
Notes:
Hello darlings! This is the one you’ve all been waiting for, enjoy the filth! Let me know your thoughts~
ALSO: Please note that there is someone copying my work and posting it to Wattpad. That is not me. The only place to read my actual work is here on AO3. I would like to formally ask the person doing this to stop, I don’t like my work re-uploaded to other sites. If you come across this on Wattpad, please know that it is a copied version.
KoFi for tips: https://ko-fi.com/miss_v_257
Discord: https://discord.gg/2N8JFkWh
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
The banging at you door made you snap up, startling as you realized you had drifted off next to Larissa again. She also jumped up, instantly looking to you in worry. She couldn’t be caught in a teacher’s room, let alone on your bed.
She sprang up, quickly standing and going to the table in your room, as if she was just visiting for morning tea, checking in on you, that would be acceptable. You were very recently ill and she- and she had been hurt. You groaned as you realized there was only one person insistent enough to bother you on a Saturday morning.
“What!” You hollered, and the door burst open, an almost manic looking Wednesday bursting in.
“You’re going to be late.” She snapped, and you raised a brow.
“Late- it’s Saturday, late for what?” You asked, and the girl pulled an almost devious smile.
“I found one.” She smirked, and you furrowed your brows.
“You found what?” You asked the girl, and she slowly took out the boots she was holding behind her back. Larissa watched very confused as you tilted your head, Wednesday’s eyes only then snapping to her. The glare she gave her was enough to cause even Larissa to take a step back, her breath catching at the borderline deadly look the girl gave her.
“You’re kidding.” She deadpanned, and you stiffened, looking between the headmistress standing, thankfully fully clothed, in the middle of your room. “You are an imbecile.” The girl directed at you, and you raised your brows.
“ Oh ?” You asked her, and she groaned.
“Enid!” The girl called, and Enid ran in.
“Come on! We don’t have much time! We have to get her before she gets sad again- ohhhhh .” The girl realized, staring from you to Larissa. “Yeah, that’s not gonna help.” She sighed, and you groaned. You were already tired, your head hurt, you had no patience for whatever worry they were having.
“Context, girls! Context!” You yelled, and Enid jumped.
“You were sad, so we wanted to help.” She said, and you furrowed your brows.
“I was sad?” You asked her, and Wednesday fixed you with a stare.
“Larissa Weems.” She said, and you looked at her confused. “Look in the mirror.” The girl said, and you went to the mirror, realizing a splatter of red and black flowers had bloomed across the crown of your head.
“Oh for fuck’s sake, how long has this been happening.” You hissed, quickly pulling the flowers from your hair. Larissa gaped at the entire interaction, you were that affected by her. Enough for the flowers she so adored in your hair to bloom black.
She jumped when Wednesday threw a heavy pair of boots at you. You ducked, letting them hit the wall, your instincts kicking in enough to have you moving out of the way almost terrifyingly quickly before you fixed her with a thoroughly unamused look, your lips twitching in annoyance. She was Wednesday, you didn’t mind most things from her, but throwing something at your head would cause a reaction more times than not.
“The fuck?” You hollered, going to the boots. Boots. Hiking boots. You froze, a wicked smile blooming on your face as you picked them up, turning to the girls. “Are these what I think they are?” You smiled, and Wednesday smirked.
“WE’RE GOING HIKING!” Enid yelled excitedly, and you jumped a bit.
“I found a trail.” Wednesday said, and you looked to her with pure joy on your face. Larissa’s breath caught, there was an openness to you, almost child-like joy, it was startling, but beautiful. It was a glimpse of what you would have been. If youhadn’t been through it all, this is what you would have been.
“You hate hiking?” You questioned, and Wednesday rolled her eyes.
“Yes, it’s vile. But you like hiking, and seeing you less, flowery,” she gagged. “Is worse.” She admitted, and you smiled.
“Awww, you love me!” You teased, and she glared.
“Pushing it.” She warned, and you smirked. “Come on, half the class is waiting.” Wednesday gritted, and your eyes went wide. She had organized a field trip, of course she had. The girl was a practical master at misdirection, unfortunately often using your own tactics against you.
“I- are you even allowed to- I never agreed- there has to be some sort of needed permission-“ you stuttered, and Wednesday pulled a stack of papers from the satchel she was holding. “Goddamnit, you forged my signature again.” You sighed, pinching the bridge of your nose. Larissa’s eyes went wide as her blood pressure skyrocketed. You and your niece would be the death of her, she had decided.
“Miss, Miss Addams, you cannot simply forge your aunt’s signature to conduct a field trip!” The woman exclaimed, smoothing down her skirt. Wednesday smirked.
“I said the words ‘botany exploration of local trail with Doctor Ophelia Florere’ and parents were forcing their kids to sign up.” She said, and you rolled your eyes.
“Fuck’s sake, I’m going to kill you.” You groaned, running into the bathroom and washing your face, fixing your hair into a somewhat manageable half bun and running back out, digging into the chest of drawers. You pulled out a long sleeved athletic top with a mock turtleneck, black, your sister would approve, as well as full length hiking pants, a pair of thick socks and a sports bra.
“Kids, out.” You said, and looked over your shoulder to make sure both girls had left before you pulled off your gloves, followed by the shirt you were wearing. Larissa gulped, watching as the muscle of your back was revealed to her. You were so strong, and the scars only added to the striking look.
You unhooked your bra, letting it fall before pulling on the sports bra and stretching your back a bit before pulling on the shirt too. You could feel her eyes on you, but you needed to change and get moving. You dropped your skirt, pulling on the pants, not hearing the heavy swallow Larissa gave at the sight of you. She blushed, watching you pull on the clothes and move in them. You bent at the waist, pulling on your socks and straightening, cracking your back and quickly looking around the room for something. Her face flushed as her mouth went dry, staring at you as if she couldn’t look away. She wanted you. It felt filthy, the way she was looking at you, it made her feel guilty as her core heated up as she followed every curve of your body.
“Did- does Wednesday often create trips like this?” She swallowed, and you huffed, finding a backpack and frantically shoving in a sweater and the stainless steel water bottle you pulled from a cabinet in the room.
“Only when she’s feeling particularly annoying.” You sighed, quickly running around the room. She had to tell you, you were leaving again and she couldn’t let you go until she told you.
You didn’t notice she had moved until her hand wrapped around your covered wrist, asking for your attention. You froze, still facing away from her.
“I don’t- I don’t hold what you can see against you, Ophelia.” She said softly, and you shuddered. Surely she wasn't referring to what you thought she was. She was standing right behind you, making your skin feel as if it was charged with energy, waiting for the lightning to snap the second her skin was on yours.
“I- What?” You swallowed shakily, still not looking.
“I don’t hold it against you, I- I know that it’s a possibility, but I don’t believe that it will end that way.” She whispered, stepping closer. Your skin tingled at her proximity.
“Th- that what will end that way?” You asked, your eyes boring a hole into the wall. She leaned down, moving to whisper in your ear. You could feel the shake in her hand, her hesitancy, her desire . She was nervous, there was something she was trying to prove.
“If we were to, if I wanted to, I don’t think that it would end that way.” She said softly, she was shaking. You hummed,the words not coming as you were overwhelmed by her proximity and the statement.
“You have no way of knowing that.” You gulped, and she took a deep breath in. It was silent for a moment, the two of you both trapped in the feeling of wanting to pull away and seal the distance. You couldn’t move, your heart pounding as she hovered behind you. Her hands retreated slightly, she was shaking.
“Are you scared of me?” She asked, her voice smaller than you had ever heard it. You sighed harshly, nearly groaning.
“Good god, is that what you think?” You husked, and she swallowed. Your voice was, thick, it was dark and heavy. It was, it was delicious. She could see the red flowers bloom along the top of your head, even when you faced away, and your breath hitched. “Are you scared of me?” You repeated her question, and she swallowed, leaning down a bit, she was so close. Her lips were just above your ear, it made you shudder and nearly gasp against her.
“Should I be?” She asked shakily, her face heated as her pulse raced.
“I don’t know.” You whispered. She seemed to think for a moment, her throat working, she had something she wanted to say, you could practically feel it.
“Is it- is it difficult for you?” She asked you, and you laughed ruefully, bracing your hands on the desk in front of you and dropping your head. Good god this woman was going to break you.
“Is what difficult for me, Larissa?” You nearly choked, and her breath hitched.
“How do you, seeing me- seeing anyone like that, it, I mean without-“ you grabbed her hand, taking it and placing it against your chest. She gasped, your heart was pounding, racing nearly impossibly fast. You bit back a moan the second her hand was on you, even if it was still through your clothing.
“Yes, god yes, it is.” You whimpered. “There have been others but, but not like this, oh my god .” You whispered, clutching your heart through her hand. You were holding over where she had stabbed you, she realized, and she swallowed, pulling slightly, you leaned back into her without hesitation, sighing in relief. It was almost heartbreaking how desprately you craved soft touch like this.
“You really do hold so much back, don’t you?” She whispered, and your eyes slipped closed, almost daring to relax into her for a moment. She wrapped her other arm around your waist, holding you securely. You nearly hissed, grimacing as you tried to fight back the tears that came almost instantly.
“I’m human, I need, I need that feeling, the intimacy, the touch, we all do.” You admitted, and she swallowed.
“Then why deny it?” She asked, and your eyes opened, your body stiffening slightly. Her heart sank, too far, she had gone too far.
“I’m not afraid of you, Larissa. I am afraid of hurting you.” You swallowed, just in time for a knock to sound at the door. You pulled away, leaving the woman feeling cold as you grabbed a bag before leaving the room, apparently taking a plethora of students with you.
…
You, with the help of Enid, who actually knew the trail, led them on a hike. For three hours. With plenty, plenty of stops. You seemingly never ran out of information, constantly pointing out something in the foliage or answering any questions any of them could think of.
Bianca was talkative, asking more questions and seemingly becoming more comfortable with you, Eugene too. The both of them kept you talking for much of it, Ajax and Xavier trying to look like they were not dying while attempting to keep up with you. And you were talking! Both boys tried their best to look nonchalant while attempting to keep up with your easy pace, thoroughly frustrated by how you seemed to never get tired or out of breath.
In the three hours, you brought them through much of the woods surrounding the school and back, happily dropping them off before making your way back to the woods for a bit.
You sighed, kicking off your shoes, removing your gloves, and just feeling the ground beneath you. You laid down, your palms tucked to the earth as you just closed your eyes, breathing it in. It had been a while, it felt like too long, it always felt like too long since you had done this. Georgiana used to do it with you, the two of you would lay in the garden for hours, allowing you to just feel the earth and nurture the connection you had with it. She had always been supportive, encouraging any method she could to ease your pain.
You were half a mile away from the school, you were alone enough, thankfully, that you didn’t have to worry about anyone disturbing you. So in the crisp autumn air, you breathed. You let go and breathed, trying to focus on the magnificent world around you. You stayed there for hours, happy to just lay and let the feeling heal you.
It helped. There were many things you couldn’t have, couldn’t do. There would always be pain, but this helped.
By the time you got up again, the sun was beginning to set, and you walked back to the school, the weight you constantly carried a little lighter. You walked in, collecting some food from the dining hall before returning to your room, sighing as you started to take your hair down, letting it free after a long day. You stripped out of your clothes, showering and washing your hair before doing all that you had to do to care for the wild curls. By the time you were finally ready for bed, it was nearly ten thirty, and you pulled on a night slip before making yourself a cup of tea, sitting by the fire.
Perhaps part of you knew she would come. erhaps you didn’t. It didn’t matter, or at least you told yourself it didn’t as you did your best to keep your mind from the woman who so recently had occupied your thoughts. It was as if she had carved a home into your mind years ago, one decorated by her hands, made to fit her perfectly. You had been able to tolerate it then, when it was just the glimpses, the idea of her.
But now, now she was living in that home, constantly there. Both physically in front of you and in your mind, she lived as if it was her own.
A familiar knock sounded at your door and you sighed, leaning your head back and closing your eyes. There was no point in fighting it.
“It’s open.” You called, not bothering to look up as the tall woman entered your room. She said nothing, simply standing and staring at the sight of you. Gorgeous. Your hair was down, fully down. She looked at the mass of curls in amazement. They were beautiful, if people thought your sister had striking hair, it was nothing in comparison with your deep red tresses, shining in the firelight. She had no wonder why many called you “angel.” You were beautiful, enchantingly, hauntingly beautiful. So beautiful it made her ache, just watching you as you laid with your eyes closed, the slow rise and fall of your chest seeming to call her closer, begging her to kneel at your side and lay her head on your chest, listening to your heart.
She shut the door behind her, walking over and sitting next to you on the small couch in front of the fire. She didn’t speak. She didn’t have to. You were there, and you were seemingly allowing her into your space. She tried to steady her breath as she realized the amount of skin you were showing.
This was the most she had seen since, since she had made that mistake. The firelight glinted over the scars of your arms, the muscles in them and your legs nearly enrapturing her, keeping her mind from forming any real thoughts.
You glowed, she realized. After spending your day out in the woods, in nature, you glowed. Your skin looked healthier, your hair even. There was a flush to you that seemed to come from your very soul.
“You’re staring.” You said softly, and she exhaled slowly.
“Do you always look like this after?” She asked you, and you opened your eyes slowly, just a bit. Your half-lidded gaze made her think of something entirely less appropriate, something that made her shudder.
“After what?” You hummed, and she just blinked at you, her eyes trailing over every inch of exposed skin.
“You’re glowing,” she breathed, and you let your eyes slip closed again, still laying back on the couch, draped over the corner and tucked in. You were like a painting, she decided, or a beautiful sculpture, one she was aching to run her hands over, to memorize the feel of.
“I always feel better, more free after being out, yes.” You said, and she nodded, still just entranced by you. You were so close, she could reach out and touch you if she wanted. If she had the nerve to.
You were a temptation like nothing she had ever experienced. She leaned closer, and you didn’t move, you didn’t open your eyes. She knew you could feel it, yet you made no move to acknowledge it.
“You didn’t cover yourself.” She murmured, her eyes tenderly tracing the scars along your arms. She had touched over them, but had never touched the scars themselves, never traced them, never truly felt them under her fingertips, her lips, her tongue.
She wanted to.
“I don’t see much of a point,” you sighed, your brows slightly furrowing despite your closed eyes.
“I thought it made you more comfortable.” She said softly, and your face relaxed slightly, into something almost, sad. A slight smattering of red flushing across your face as blue flowers bloomed in your hair. Her breath hitched, that was a new one. These weren’t the tiny rosettes, the baby’s breath, or the grass flowers she often saw. “What do these ones mean?” She asked, and you swallowed, finally opening your eyes.
You glanced to the mirror in the corner, seeing what was blooming from your scalp. You smiled sadly, blinking a few times through your reddened eyes. Her breath stuttered as she realized your eyes were rimmed with red, you were trying not to cry. Even if you could keep your voice and body steady, your eyes betrayed you. You took a deep breath in, fighting the emotion back as you spoke to her.
“Myosotis, from the Greek. However you would call them forget-me-not’s.” You hummed, and she looked to you sadly, her hand hovering over your knee. She wanted to touch you, to comfort you.
“I- would you like to tell me about her?” She asked, and you almost laughed at the torture the woman was putting you through.
You had mourning flowers in your hair when she asked you about touch. She had seen what a past lover had done to you, the scars that must have happened when you tried to get out of it. Her attention was caught when she once again found her way back to your eyes. The intensity in them was striking. It was like you were staring into her very soul, like you were searching for something so deep inside her, and she was terrified of what you would find. She watched with bated breath as you seemed to find what you were looking for.
“She made me open my eyes, light up. She was burgundy roses, unconscious beauty, blissfully unaware. Chasing someone who didn’t even close to deserve her.” You muttered, and Larissa swallowed. You spoke slowly, but your words were clear, deliberate, as you watched her for any sort of reaction. “Then again who could?” You asked, looking back to the fire. It was too much, too intense to talk about this, to talk like this.
She could feel it too, the tension that invaded you, the heavy feeling of uncertainty and the sheer power of whatever was stirring beneath it.
“Serenity in the depths of madness, light in the black. I gave her power over me without question, I clung to moments as if they were heaven.” You whispered, your voice far away. Larissa felt tears coming to her own eyes. It was like you were speaking the poetry of yours she used to read. It was breathtaking, and heartbreaking. She used to lay awake at night imagining what the voice behind your words sounded like, would you rasp or were you smooth, did your words flow or were they slow, deliberate. There were so many things she wanted to know.
She knew Morticia’s pen pall was from Europe, and she would imagine every possible accent speaking the words she had stolen from her roommate. Your own cadence was like none of them. You never sounded fully American, your voice was complicated by the years in different countries. It made her wonder where all you had lived. She knew you taught in France, Switzerland, and Germany, as well as others, but did you speak the language, could you speak them?
She wondered what you would sound like in French, if you could speak of love as eloquently as you could now. She watched the way your lips formed the words, even in profile, as if she was hanging on every syllable. It was breathtaking.
She wanted you.
She knew she wanted you now. But how could she ever compare to that, how could she compare to the woman you were describing, every breath reverent, as if you could bring her to life with nothing but your words. You hummed as you paused, your voice wavering in uncertainty for the first time since you began.
“I know far too much, yet I have no experience. Not with her.” You said softly, swallowing. With her, you didn’t. When you were at your very lowest she was there, and the woman you were speaking of had no idea what all she had given you, without ever even knowing your name. It was almost sick, how you had desperately clung to her, how you had clawed into the visions of her, gripping on for dear life. “How dare I? How dare I defile the most beautiful being I had ever had the chance to witness with my mind, visions tormenting me. Still . Still every time I close my eyes,” you breathed, leaning your head back, a look between bliss and torture in your eyes. Larissa’s heart picked up, staring at the way you tried not to give in to whatever it was you were feeling. It was beautiful, achingly so. “It’s not fair, is it?” You asked, looking back at her. She swallowed, fully entranced by you.
“I can’t imagine it would be.” She rasped. You tilted your head, asking for more. “Someone like that, that made you feel that way, she must be cruel.” She swallowed, and your brows raised slightly. “She must be hideous within, despite whatever beauty she may possess, I-“
“No.” You interrupted, and her breath hitched as she stared at you in surprise. You didn’t normally cut her off. “No, she’s not. Hurt, yes, but cruel, not in my experience. Possibly the kindest person I know.” You hummed, and she furrowed her brows. You were looking at her very strangely, intensely. It made her heart race for a reason she couldn’t quite understand.
“Then how could she, how could anyone else ever- have there been others since?” She asked you, and you nodded, watching her reactions.
“Yes. I’ve even been in love since. I was infatuated at the time, not in love. How can you be in love with the ghost of an angel?” You asked her, and she swallowed. Somehow your gaze was getting more intense, deeper. You were closer, she couldn’t tell if it was her that had leaned in or if you had sat up, but her heart was pounding now. It was almost too much.
“Right.” She said, looking away. “I can’t imagine someone that, a living angel.” She breathed, and you sighed.
“Oh, how thick can you be?” You half-laughed sadly. Her eyes snapped to you, confused.
“What?” She asked, and you just stared at her.
“Do you really not see it? Are you that unaware?” You asked her, and she pulled back. You were being rude, cruel almost. You were never that way, not with her.
“I, I don’t think that I-“ she began, and you shook your head. You were tired. You were tired of fighting it. Of fighting her. You wanted to give in. Part of you was terrified, yet you wanted to give in to her perhaps more than anyone you had ever met.
“What do you see when you look in the mirror and how is it so different from what the rest of the world sees?” You asked her. She stopped, looking back to you then, her eyes widening slightly. You looked like you were about to loose it, and she couldn’t quite understand why.
“What does that have to do with it?” She asked, and you looked at her with heartbreaking confusion. She really didn’t know. You couldn’t even fathom how she wouldn’t.
“You don’t, really? I-“ you stuttered, and she looked at you, her own eyes clouding with hurt.
“Are you mocking me?” She hissed, and you just gaped as you shook your head.
“Larissa, it’s you.” You breathed, and she froze, staring at you.
Silence.
Silence reigned over the two of you. She knew you didn’t mean- there was no way you could possibly mean that, that someone- that you, would describe her that way.
“What?” She breathed, and you smiled sadly.
“Mourning flowers, I- I grieve what I cannot have, what I can’t give.” You tried to smile through the tears before it came too much. You couldn’t stand it anymore, looking back to the fire for a distraction from her piercing eyes. Her beautiful blue eyes were shocked, almost unbelieving.
She stared at you. You thought of her as something, someone that beautiful. Her heart pounded in her ears. No one, no one had ever described her that way. Not even close. Morticia was always so quick to point out any flaw, any crack in her facade, but you, you thought of her like that .
Her hands slowly settled on your knee, looking for any sign of resistance. You tensed for a moment, simply unused to being touched there, let alone skin on yours.
She didn’t move, just sat with you in the silence. She didn’t feel like she had the words. She didn’t know how to thank you, how to beg you to let her show you how she saw you. She didn’t know how when you were so far away, even when you were close enough to touch.
Then you relaxed under her hand, sinking slightly into the couch. She looked at you, watching your eyes trained on the fire. You didn’t move, you didn’t move as she slowly eased closer to you, her other hand resting on your thigh. Your breath stuttered, but you just closed your eyes, trying to fight back tears, as your lips fell open for a moment in a silent gasp.
You loved her touch. You craved her touch like nothing else. It lit a fire in you, yet it soothed the pain you had come to accept as part of life. You shuddered as she leaned over you, one of her hands moving from your knee to your face, wiping away a tear you hadn’t realized you had let slip through.
“Let me give.” She whispered shakily, and there was a moment of pain that crossed your face before you finally looked up at her, your eyes like nothing she had ever seen. “If you can’t, let me give. Let me show you I can do more than what I took from you the other night.” She nearly begged, guilt written over her face.
“You have nothing to make up for.” You swallowed. “If this is what you- if this is what you want, don’t do it out of guilt.” You whispered, and she stared at you for a moment, her eyes meeting yours in something intensely like a promise.
Then she was kissing you again. Relief flooded the both of you as she pressed against you, nearly straddling you on the small couch.
You wrapped your arms around her shoulders tentatively, and she shuddered at the feeling of your bare skin against her. She could tell you wanted to touch her, you wanted to grab her and pull her into you, but your hands shook lightly, betraying exactly how unused to touch, in any capacity, you were.
You didn’t want to hurt her.
She placed her hands on your arms, pulling away a bit and panting as she looked at you. Her eyes peered into yours, looking for any sense of regret, of wanting to pull away. Your pupils were blown, your chest rising quickly as a flush covered your skin. You looked like you wanted to devour her, it made her face heat up even more at the idea.
“You can touch me,” she whispered, and your lips parted a bit as you leaned up slightly closer, the want in you clear on your face. The words went straight from your heart to your core, the feeling of warmth flooding more than just your body. “I want you to touch me, Ophelia.” She whispered against you, and you groaned as you wrapped your hands around her shoulders more firmly, pulling her into you and parting your lips for her.
Her lips met yours in sheer want, a feeling that had you reeling almost instantly. She licked into your mouth, and you happily let her, a sound catching in your throat as she explored every inch of your mouth.
You wound your hand into her hair, pulling her closer, making the woman whimper in relief. She had you again. You were with her again, she was in your arms. Her hands went to your sides, finding purchase on your ribs. It felt so good. You nodded into her lips and sighed, kissing her again with near desperation.
“I want- I want to touch you.” She husked against your lips and you shivered. You pulled her in for another kiss, this one slower, steadier.
“Slow,” you nodded, and she swallowed, her fingers gently creeping up the hem of your nightgown.
She groaned in relief as her hands finally met your bare skin. Heat, this was liquid heat settling into you, making your thighs tense as she moved. You gasped at the feeling and she hitched her hands under your thighs, pulling you up until your legs were wrapped around her waist as she held you in the air, lifting you over to your bed and laying you down. You grabbed onto her tightly, startled. That was not slow.
“Larissa,” you warned, and she swallowed, pulling back, only for you to catch her arm. You held her, the tall woman staring at you from the bottom of your bed, half over you. You had been in a similar place before, and neither of you could manage to fully ignore it.
She looked to you, her eyes unsure, asking for permission. She wanted more, and it petrified you how willing you were to give it. You nodded slightly, a small smile gracing your face as you looked up at her.
“Are you alright?” She whispered gently, and you nodded, your eyes wide as you took her in.
“More than.” You breathed, and a smile lit up her face as your breathless tone. She was beautiful, in her night dress, a robe around her shoulders, her hair and makeup still on, but slightly worn. She was glowing in the firelight, beautiful. She slowly crawled onto the bed and over you, the sight of it making you blush and bite your lip to try to keep from reacting.
Her hand slid around your face, holding you gently as you kissed her. You leaned up into her again, your hands slipping over her waist, pulling her into you quickly.
“Larissa,” you whimpered, and the sound had her groaning as her hands gripped you a little harder. You wanted her, she realized. Even if you were unsure, it was not her you were unsure about. But the idea of someone, of you wanting her, it sent shockwaves of need straight through her.
Her hips pressed against yours and she moaned, sending a rush of heat straight to your core. She pulled away however, instantly making you panic, your eyes went wide, an apology on your lips before she kissed it away, her hands running over your hips and waist tenderly.
She sat back, taking your hand, and you swallowed nervously as she straddled you, your hand in hers. She was looking at it, at the blackened fingers, at the flecks of scarring, and the larger scars winding up your arm. You stiffened uncomfortably, bracing yourself in preparation. No one had ever looked at them this close, but those who had seen glimpses always made it very clear what they thought.
“What are you-“ you swallowed, only to be cut off by her actions. What she did however, was take your hand to her lips, tenderly kissing your palm. You gasped, tears threatening to choke you as you looked up at her, nearly crying out in shock at her gorgeous smile.
“Forgive me, I just have been dying to know.” She whispered, turning your palm and kissing the inside of your wrist before sliding her hands over it. You gasped as she slowly traced her fingers down, feather light touches as she traced your scars, making your breath hitch as you flushed deeply. “Is- is this alright?” She whispered against your skin, and you nodded, trying not to squirm underneath her. In just a few simple touches she had reduced you to a mess, faster and more intensely than others had done even with their hands in far more sexual places.
“Y-yes, I’m just not used to- oh , not used to anyone doing, not even- please don’t stop .” You whispered, fighting back tears as she continued. She looked down at you, her brows furrowing and then smoothing as she realized. You were nearly bright red, panting breathlessly, your eyes darker than she had ever seen as you bit your lip in an attempt to prevent the sounds she was sure you were on the verge of making.
“No one has ever done this, have they?” She asked softly, and you shook your head, biting your lip harder in an attempt to stave off a worse reaction. She came down to you again, kissing you slowly, gently. You whimpered into her, close to begging her to continue.
You chased after her when she pulled away slightly, only to whisper against your lips.
“You’re beautiful Ophelia, you deserve to be touched in any way you like.” She breathed against your lips, and you surged up, kissing her ravenously. Your mind spun as your lips pressed against hers again and again, needing her to know how grateful you were for something as simple as a gentle hand. She couldn’t say things like that, not without stealing your heart along with whatever else she wanted from you.
Her hands continued, tracing the line of every scar, over each wedge of thorns, over every one of the smaller nicks along your arms. You were at her complete mercy, panting as she did nothing other than graze your skin. It was perhaps the most intimate touch you had ever felt, the both of you still dressed for the most part.
She switched to your other arm, repeating the action, making your mind go numb to anything but her as her gentle touch continued, grazing over everything. You went practically limp, putty in her hands. They were so soft, every touch was achingly slow, a feather trailing over your skin as if she could map it into her very mind.
You allowed her free reign, and she relished in it. She memorized every inch of your arms, the very feel of them. Not an inch went un-traced, every bit of scar, every bit of skin, all of it felt softness and tenderness so deep it nearly broke you open right then and there.
She looked at your swollen lips and blown out eyes, her own breath being stolen. You looked at her like she was your whole world, like no one had ever even tried to touch you like this, like you had never felt tenderness at all. It broke her heart and awoke something ravenously protective in her at the same time.
“Oh darling,” she breathed, lowering her lips to yours and kissing you again. You followed her lead, gasping and whimpering against her. With just simple touches she had reduced you to a mess, yet you couldn’t bring yourself to fight it. All you wanted was her, you couldn’t think of anything else, just Larissa. “Still alright?” She panted between needy kisses, and you swallowed, nodding and kissing down her jaw, to her neck, insistent, needy, worshiping. You locked your lips around her pulse point, nipping her gently before giving the spot a feather-light kiss. Larissa’s breath caught. You wanted her, you really, truly wanted her.
“Please, please don’t stop,” you begged, and her heart nearly burst at the sound. She had heard your voice many times, almost always strong and steady. She had heard it cool and serene, she had heard it teasing, even broken and desperate, but this sound, this sound sent heat straight to her core as your breath became even more labored.
Her hands trailed over your chest, and she nodded, gently sliding the straps off your shoulder.
“I won’t, I have you.” She whispered low against your lips. The sound that left your chest was somewhere between a sob of relief and a moan. She kissed down your neck, your chest, your shoulders. She covered every inch of your exposed skin with her lips, so tenderly you thought you may break. Your hands ran down her shoulders, down her back, to the hem of her nightdress, startling her.
“May I?” You whispered, and she swallowed, lifting her arms and nodding. You slipped the fine fabric over her head and gasped as her cream colored lace set was revealed. Your eyes went wide, your lips parting slightly as you looked at her.
You gaped at her.
She felt ice flood through her veins.
Her body was, she knew how she looked. She wasn’t delicate and small, she wasn’t dainty and precious. Many people had reminded her. She swallowed down the shame, turning her head away from you, leaving her wholly unprepared for when you flipped the both of you, straddling her hips as you leaned down, kissing her breathless. Your tongue slipped into her mouth, and you moaned at her taste, your hands trailing over her waist almost desperately.
She gasped, so that is what it felt like. That is what it felt like to have your warm, blackened hands on her. She arched into it slightly, and you gripped her a little harder, making her moan. Your hands were strong, warm and strong against her, yet so, so tender. You panted as you pulled away from her, making her look at you, her icy eyes meeting yours suddenly. What she found nearly shocked her, there was no disgust, no judgment, just utter adoration.
“Don’t look away from me, please, stay with me, as long as you’re here,” you whispered against her lips, kissing down her jaw again as your fingers danced over her waist, as if you were trying to imprint the feel of her on your own fingers. She gasped against you, your words made her heart falter, but the second your hands found her waist again she just nodded, biting back a groan as you once again dropped your lips to her neck, your breath shaking against her as you kissed your way down the side of her neck to her shoulder. She swallowed, you were so tender with her, despite the little nips you left on her skin. It made her feel, divine. Your kisses trailed down her chest, your lips blessing every inch of her. She gasped, her hands winding into your hair.
“Ophelia.” She panted, and you groaned against her skin, your face pressing into her as she pulled on your hair.
“Let me worship you,” you breathed, and she swallowed, all of her lovers before had been, much more interested in their own gain but you, you just wanted her. Her body arched up into you slightly as your hands gripped her hips with a force she didn’t know you had and she grunted, her legs opening slightly almost on instinct.
She needed you, she needed you desperately. The ache between her legs had become unbearable, she couldn’t stand it. Her hands ran down your back, pulling you against her in an attempt to find any sort of friction where she so badly needed it. You straddled one of her legs, pressing your knee between her thighs, and she gasped, you didn’t press against her, but you certainly gave her the option. She could feel the heat pulling in her lower stomach, almost aching for you, driving her wild. You were holding back, she realized, still hesitant to touch her, to hurt her.
“Ophelia, I- just touch me.” She panted, and you groaned. The sound that clawed it’s way from your throat had her jaw dropping. The fear of touch was ingrained so deep into you, but the second the words left her lips you were at her utter mercy as your hands became a little more firm, your lips a little more insistent. She knew you were strong, she knew you could do a lot if you would just let go! You scraped your teeth over her collarbone, and her hand dug into your hair, pulling it closer. “There you are,” she hissed, and you repeated the action, littering her exposed skin with marks from your teeth and lips. You captured her lips again, bracing one arm against her body, holding yourself up, while the other palmed at her covered breast. She moaned, pulling you into her impossibly further. She pulled you down by the hair, the action making you smile as your teeth and tongue teased the hem of her bra.
“Would you like this off?” You teased her, and she wanted to snap away, to push you off and take it off herself on pure instinct.
“Don’t-“ she fired, then she looked at you. Your face was flushed, your eyes fully dilated, yet in them was the genuine question. You were asking. You were really asking. You wouldn’t take anything off of her without her permission. It made her pause. She knew you were ravenous for any sort of touch, being so starved from it, the very idea boggled her mind. You were also terrified of it, terrified of being hurt, of hurting her. She swallowed, you had asked. You weren’t asking to tease her, you were asking to make sure. In the middle of what she was sure was a swarming deal of thoughts in your mind, you found a way to give her control, even when it was you on top. You leaned down, kissing the top of her breast again as you waited for an answer, and she snapped out of it.
“Yes,” she sighed, and you immediately smiled, the sweet kiss you had given her becoming much less innocent as you licked up her cleavage before reaching for the cup of her bra. You pulled the fabric away, your fingers ever so gently teasing her nipple, making the woman shudder. You were taking too long, you were cautious, and she didn’t want cautious, she wanted you. She arched up, reaching behind herself and unclasping the garment, throwing it away without question.
“Christ you’re fucking gorgeous.” You husked as you laid eyes on her, making the pale woman go red. You took her chest in your hands, kneading her as your tongue delved into her mouth when you kissed her, making her pant in need. You used your warm fingers to circle around one of her nipples, pinching it lightly, and her breath hitched, the woman pressing into you.
“Yes, god yes,” she whimpered, and you brought your mouth to her chest, licking over her other nipple, making her dig her fingers into your scalp, much to your pleasure. You took it between your teeth before sucking heavily, drawing a borderline guttural sound from the woman before you released her from your mouth with an audible pop. She moaned as you moved to the other side, repeating the action.
“You’re just stunning.” You whispered against her skin, and she swallowed, looking down at you in surprise. “Tell me what you want Larissa,” you breathed against her skin, making the woman shudder. She blushed deeply, struggling to find the words.
“I, I want, I want-,” she panted, staring into your stormy eyes. She couldn’t say it, she couldn’t- she wanted so many things, all of them absolutely filthy. She just shook her head, pulling you in for a kiss and grinding down on your thigh. You groaned as she sighed in relief, finally moving against you. She dropped her head back, it felt so good. She moaned as she finally allowed herself the friction she so desperately craved. You grabbed her hips, helping her to move against you as you continued your ministrations to her chest. “Fuck, finally,” she whimpered, and you hummed in pleasure against her, your hands kneading over her hips and ass as you helped her ride your thigh. “Take this off,” she panted, pulling at your own nightdress, and you did as she asked almost instantly, she moaned as she realized you weren’t wearing a bra, her hands instantly pulling you down so she could feel your chest against hers, the two of you pressed together divinely. She grabbed your hair again, pulling you down for a kiss as she continued to grind against you. “I need, oh fuck Ophelia, I need you to touch me.” She panted, and you moaned, sliding your hand down her chest, down her bare stomach and hips, finally getting to where she wanted you. She nearly whined, she had dreamed about this, about you, and it paled in comparison to the real thing. Nothing felt as good as your hand finally slipping down, cupping her through her panties.
“Fuck,” you hissed, she was wet, she was insanely wet. She had soaked through her underwear to the point that you could so easily feel it, your fingers came away wet when you pulled away slightly only to feel her hand lock around your wrist.
“Don’t you dare,” she growled, and your eyes met hers, the sheer need she showed flooring you. “I’ve been aching for you since the first time we kissed, don’t you dare pull away.” She husked, her voice strained by something more than lust. You blinked away the shock, swallowing.
“Never.” You whispered, and she moaned as you finally slipped past her underwear, your fingers slipping over her soaked core. She arched up into you, pressing down on your hand as she cried out.
“Finally!” She whimpered, and you smiled. You had a goddess beneath you, begging for your touch. Your touch, which you gave her so freely, it was almost easy. All thoughts of anything but her left your mind as you slowly rubbed her clit, pressing until her breath stuttered and she groaned. “Yes, just like that darling, just like that.” She huffed, and you captured her lips in a searing kiss, one which left her head spinning as your hand began to finally relieve the ache.
She rolled her hips against you shamelessly, she couldn’t bring herself to care as she followed your movements, holding you close to her, desperate for your touch, the feeling of your skin on hers, for more. She took your breath away, igniting a fire in you that you had never felt before. Nothing even came this close.
“ More ,” she whimpered, and you obeyed her every command, two of your fingers slipping inside her, making the woman groan aloud. “I- I can take more than that I’m not- I’m not-“ She stuttered, and you silenced her with a sloppy kiss as you added another finger, causing her to bite down roughly on your lip, making you groan.
“You’re perfect.” You whispered against her, and she cried out as you began to pump your fingers in and out of her, a slow, almost bruising pace. You were rough while still being so intensely caring, and the dichotomy made her dizzy. She dropped her head back, closing her eyes as you kissed her neck, your fingers working her as if you already knew exactly where to touch her to drive her wild.
The possibility that you did fleeted past her mind, disappearing the second you hit a spot that had her grunting harshly.
“Fuck, yes, right there!” She gritted, and you continued, hitting the same spot while whispering soft encouragement to her, praise dripping from your lips like honey in a way that so perfectly contrasted the roughness of your hands.
“That’s it darling, there you go.” You whispered against her heated skin. It drove her wild. She was getting close, every moan she made dragging on only to be cut off by a desperate gasp for air.
“I- Ophelia, I-“ she whimpered, and you hushed her.
“Look at me.” You said softly, and her eyes snapped open, staring into yours with something dangerously close to more than lust. You leaned down, smiling as you nipped at her lower lip, making the woman gasp. “All you have to do is let go.” You whispered, and she cried out as she came, slamming her lips into yours. She was pulsing around you, bearing down on your fingers as wave after wave of pleasure coursed through her, making her go light headed. You rode her through her orgasm, your fingers still moving gently inside of her. She panted as she began to come down, only to feel you begin to kiss your way down her body.
Her breath hitched, you had already made her come, what more could you want?
“Ophelia, you, you don’t have to,” she huffed between breaths, and you hummed as you began kissing the underside of her breasts, making the woman arch into you all over again.
“I know.” You murmured, beginning to trail lower. “I want to taste you.” You whispered, and her breath hitched as you began to kiss over her hip bones, down her thighs, placing your hands on the outsides of them and beginning to massage them gently as she hesitated, unsure.
“You, want to?” She asked you, and you paused, looking up. You blinked for a moment, holding her eyes with something so intense in yours it was like she couldn’t look away.
“I want to bring you so much pleasure you can’t think of anything else.” You husked, and she gasped at you. You were serious, dead serious by the look in your eyes.
“Ophelia,” she breathed, and you stared, your face flushed from between her legs.
“Yes or no, Larissa.” You husked as her eyes went wide. She just swallowed, nodding silently and opening her legs for you a little more. You visibly swallowed, pulling her panties off of her before sucking in a breath. Embarrassment flooded her as you stared, your eyes more wild then she had ever seen.
She shifted uncomfortably, looking away and closing her legs a bit, but you caught her, your hands on her knees holding her still.
“You’re beautiful,” you breathed, and she looked down again to find you staring into her eyes. She felt her blush deepen as you began to rub circles on her skin with your hands, the action soft and comforting. “You can say no.” You swallowed, pulling back slightly at the shift in her demeanor. She gasped, shaking her head as she hooked one leg around you, pulling you in again.
“No I- I want you to, I- I want you.” She stuttered, and your eyes went darker than she had ever seen them.
“Fuck, Larissa .” You moaned, and her eyes went wide as you looked down, leaning your head on the inside of her thigh. She wanted you. It made your head spin as an ache like you had never known settled in your cunt.
“Are you-“ she breathed, and you hummed, kissing the inside of her thigh. You pulled her leg fully over her shoulder and she tensed, lifting her leg slightly.
“Mmm, mm-mmm, no gorgeous, if I put your leg over my shoulder you better fucking put your weight on me.” You hummed, and she gasped as you finally leaned down, licking into her slowly. Her hand shot to your hair, grabbing you roughly.
You moaned at her taste, everything about the woman drove you wild, but this, this was more than you could ever imagine.
“ Hah - good lord,” Larissa gasped. You groaned as you flattened your tongue against her clit, giving her the pressure she needed. “Oh- Ophelia- Mmm !” She panted, and you moaned into her. She was everything, she was everything in that moment. She bucked up into you, squeezing you a bit with her leg before realizing what she was doing. She tried to leg go, but gasped as you brought your hand to her thigh, keeping her there. You ground your tongue into her, making her nearly see stars as you moaned at her taste.
She whined out as she realized you were enjoying this, not just enjoying it, you were almost animalistic in the way you seemed to crave it, in the way you craved her. The idea of someone, of you, wanting her that badly made her heart stop.
“God, you’re fucking incredible.” You moaned against her when you gasped for breath, the action making her bite her lips. You chuckled darkly as you looked up at her, licking her up slowly. “You don’t have to hide your sounds from me, darling, I love it.” You rasped, and she gasped out as you continued. You sucked onto her clit and she bit down on her lip again, clawing into your hair.
“Please, Ophelia, keep- oh my god - keep going,” she cried, and you moaned, nodding into her as you did just that. She writhed against you, gasping desperately for air. You were good, you were really good, you made her question god, you were that good.
You reached out to her, putting your arms around her hips and pulling her into you. She cried out as you thrust your tongue into her, curling the tip so you could press against a spot that had the ache in her lower stomach nearly snapping.
“So- so good,” she panted, and you smiled against her as you pressed harder, making the woman moan and throw her head back on the bed. She grasped at the pillows on your bed, her knuckles going white around them as she ground against your face, she was losing control. She needed control, her entire life was a balancing act of control, but the second you sucked her clit back into your mouth she screamed, letting go of everything as wave after wave of pleasure coursed through her body, making her nearly spasm against you.
The sounds that tore from her throat were guttural, far from the normal eloquence she spoke with as she lost herself in you. You met every twitch of her thighs, every buck of her hips, helping her ride your face as she came so hard she saw spots in her vision. She felt like she was spinning as you slowly licked her up, cleaning up every bit of wetness she had. You hummed against her, looking up with a smirk at her dazed expression.
“Are you alright?” You asked her softly, giving her a quick kiss to her clit that made her jump. She startled, looking down to you with her hair a mess and her makeup smeared. She was gorgeous.
“I- you are- very good at that.” She managed, and you laughed a bit, climbing up her body to lay next to her, staring at her intensely. Her breath faltered, and she glanced from your eyes to your lips, almost deciding something.
“Have you not tasted yourself?” You asked her, the question startling her and making her blush deeply. You were unreadable, the flush on your face giving away that you were enjoying yourself, but nothing else.
“I- not on someone else’s lips.” She swallowed, and you raised a brow.
“Would you like to?” You asked her, and she swallowed, nodding a bit. “Would you like me to help you?” You asked her, and her eyes widened a fraction.
She knew she was out of control, that she was a mess after what you had given her, part of her was screaming to run away now, to reclaim what little dignity she had left. Yet the way you were looking at her made her feel like she wanted nothing more than to give in and let go, to just allow you to do whatever you wanted to her. It was frightening.
“Larissa?” You whispered softly, calling her attention back to you. She flushed, realizing she had been caught. “If you don’t want to, you certainly don’t have to- oh!” You startled as she grabbed a hold of you, pulling you in and kissing you recklessly.
You grunted, but wrapped your arms around her, holding her close as she moaned at the taste of herself on your tongue. She slipped hers into you, pulling every bit of herself she could from your mouth. She rolled over on top of you, kissing you deeply as her hands found their way into your hair again.
You sighed against her, rubbing her back when she pulled away for air, resting her head against your shoulder. You shifted, moving your hips slightly so she was sitting lower on you.
It was then that the woman realized that she was literally sitting on you and began to panic. She sat stiff as a board, straight up as she looked down at you and immediately straddled you, taking her weight off your hips.
“Oh- I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to-“ she began to get up, only for you to grab her by the hips, keeping her there.
“Why do you keep doing that?” You asked her softly, and she froze, looking down at you with wide eyes.
“Wh- what?” She breathed, and you rubbed her hips softly, the touch far too tender for someone who had been through as much as you had.
“Apologizing, getting off me, you know what I mean.” You hummed, and she swallowed, her face staining with red as she realized what you were doing.
“I don’t want your teasing right now, Ophelia.” She gritted, and you stopped immediately, sitting up with the woman still on your lap.
“I’m not. I'm really not.” You said softly, and she stared at you for a moment, deciding. Her eyes hardened for only a moment before softening at the honesty in yours.
“I’m aware that I’m rather, heavy.” She said carefully, and you furrowed your brows. Of all things. Your body was slightly different then the average Normie. Even the average outcast, if there was such a thing. You ran much warmer, to begin with, but you were also a good bit stronger.
“Really, that’s what’s bothering you?” You asked her, and she clenched her jaw, looking away.
“Well it’s not as if I’ve exactly been with many who enjoyed that particular aspect of- oh my god !” She yelped as you slipped your arms around her, quickly rising to your knees and holding her up, arms still around your hips.
You were lifting her.
Her hands flew to your shoulders in absolute shock, bracing herself against you.
“Not really.” You hummed, kneeling back down until her legs were on either side of you again. She panted slightly, looking at you wild eyed.
“You’re insane.” She hissed, and you raised your brows, blinking a few times with a slight smile on your face. She scoffed, choosing instead to lean down and kiss the smile off your face. It worked, and as soon as her lips nipped at yours you shuddered, something the woman happily used to her advantage.
She leaned down, pushing you back against the bed with one hand on your chest, only to feel your hand wrap around her wrist. She paused, and you just looked away, unable to meet her eyes for a moment. You almost looked, embarrassed, yet she couldn’t understand why- oh. Touching you could do, you enjoyed even, but being touched, that was harder.
“I’m sorry.” She whispered, pulling away, but you caught her again, looking up at her and shaking your head.
“You don’t- you don’t have to go.” You said softly, and her eyes widened slightly at the near break in your voice. “I’m sorry, it’s just- it’s extremely difficult and it’s not that I don’t want you to- god I want you to - but I- I just-“ she cut you off with another kiss, this one much softer.
“Hush,” she breathed, and you nodded as the woman laid down next to you, pulling the covers over you both before slowly wrapping her arms around you. You shuddered, stiffening slightly.
“You don’t have to stay either.” You whispered, and she just nodded.
“I know.” She said, and you swallowed, staring up in the dark until she fell asleep, and for the remaining hours until the sun rose.
Notes:
KoFi for tips: https://ko-fi.com/miss_v_257
Discord: https://discord.gg/2N8JFkWh
Chapter 20: Exposure
Summary:
Larissa finds out what your true job entails, and just how in it you are, and have always been.
CONTENT WARNING: Assault/implied Child torture/torture/referenced sexual assault/referenced abuse/medical
Notes:
Hello my lovelies! I am back!!!!
I am so sorry for abandoning you so long, but happily I am back in action and writing again after taking a break for personal reasons. I hope you enjoy this chapter and let me know what you think!!!
Much love,
V
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
She felt so safe . It was an odd feeling, rising from sleep in a pleasant haze, surrounded by a comforting warmth. Her eyes felt heavy, like sleep still wanted to hold her despite the hints of reality creeping into her mind. Larissa woke up tucked into your side, her head laying on your chest and her arm around you. Your heart was steady, a constant rhythm juxtaposed to your racing mind.
It felt good. She felt good. It felt wonderful having her there, but you wouldn’t close your eyes for too long, you wouldn’t risk falling asleep again, exposing her to all that went on in your mind. It was dangerous, harmful for her to see all that, so you stared at the ceiling, laying silently as the hours ticked by.
You didn’t notice her staring at you until you felt her shift slightly, her face saddening slowly as she looked up at you in concern. The care took your breath away, it nearly made your heart stop as she looked up at you.
“You didn’t sleep,” she whispered sadly, and you knew it was more of a statement then a question.
“I- no, I have trouble sometimes.” You said gently, and she nodded, swallowing and moving off of you.
“I should have left, I’m sorry, I know how you are about touch-“ she began, only to feel your bare hands wrap around her, pulling her close again as you sat up to meet her.
Your eyes were tired, yet there was something so soft and gentle in them it took her breath away. You just shook your head, brushing her hair back and out of the way, making her eyes flutter closed as your palm rested on her cheek.
“I wanted you to stay, you know that.” You said softly, leaning in and kissing her cheek gently, making the woman melt into you. She hung her head, hiding in your chest and gripping onto your shoulders as you held her for a moment, the silence of the morning weighing all around you. “I- I like when you’re here, Larissa, it’s- you must know that.” You stuttered, your hands smoothing over her nightgown gently. She nodded, sighing deeply as she battled with her own mind. She had spent her entire life being told she wasn’t good enough, wasn’t worthy. Even you couldn’t erase that.
“You scare me.” She whispered, and you froze, swallowing and instantly pulling away. It was as if ice had settled into your very veins, of course she was. It was perfectly logical that she was. Here you were, practically clutching onto her, and she was terrified. You were close, too close, you should know better than that.
“I- I’m sorry.” You said, standing quickly and putting some space between the two of you. She sat in confusion for a moment before realizing what had happened, what you had heard.
“Not like that!” She instantly protested, and you sighed heavily, closing your eyes and pinching the bridge of your nose. Your head was starting to hurt. You didn’t want to risk transferring dreams again, so you hadn’t slept, but now a price would be paid for it. “No, no it’s not what you can do! It’s, its you ! You scare me, Ophelia.” She sighed, and your eyes widened as you set your jaw.
“Oh yes, that clears it right up.” You laughed ruefully, looking away instead of seeing the regret plastered all over her face.
“I don’t like how you make me feel!” She yelled, and your eyes went wide, your face hardening as you tilted your jaw up in defense.
“ Mhm .” You hummed, immediately turning around and moving to go. It was your room, but you weren’t dealing with this, you couldn’t.
“No, I- you make me feel out of control!” She tried to defend herself, but you just shook your head.
“Ah, yes, I'm threatening, lovely.” You gritted, and the woman stood, coming to face you in an attempt to get your attention. You weren’t hearing what she was trying to say, she wasn’t even saying what she was trying to say.
“Ophelia, no, you’re not.” She huffed, and you closed your eyes for a moment, trying to find your patience. “It’s, when I am with you, when I’m with you all I want is to be with you. It’s- it makes me feel out of control, like I can’t- I can’t cover it and I-“ she panicked, only the look you gave her cut her off.
“Cover?” You swallowed, and she wanted to slam her head into the wall.
“No!” She rushed, stepping into you and bringing her hand to your shoulder, letting it just hover above your skin, she wouldn’t touch until you looked at her.
“No, not you, I don’t- I’m not- it’s complicated.” She tried, and you nodded roughly.
“I understand, yes.” You managed, and she swallowed, steeling herself. She knew the risk when you were already this upset, but she would take it. She would take it every time if it meant pulling you out of your mind.
Her hand settled on the bare skin of your shoulder and you shuddered, your breath catching before you leaned into it almost subconsciously. The comfort she provided you, you didn’t know how she did it.
“Please I- I want you so much it scares me , Ophelia.” She whispered, and you swallowed, blinking back the emotion threatening to spill from you at any moment.
Was that somehow better to her?
“I- do you think I would harm you? That my goal is to take your control- or God forbid try to control you?” You hissed, backing away slightly as the woman’s eyes went wide, shaking her head.
She panicked as she realized she was saying this wrong, she was saying all of this so wrong. With every step she could see you back away further, see you pull yourself away more and more.
“No, no I know that you-“ she tried, but it was too late, tears began to form in your eyes as you pulled away from her.
“I am not- I AM NOT!” You nearly screamed, and she jumped back, startled by the outburst. She had touched a nerve, a deep one, and horror dawned on her as she realized what you had heard. You quieted down the second that she jumped, immediately lowering your head as emotion shook your voice. “I am not the type of person who would do that, Larissa.” You breathed, and she tried to take a step closer, tried to tell you that’s not what she meant.
“Ophelia, I didn’t mean-“
“But if that is what you see me as, please, please , just go. I- I’m going to take a shower, if that’s what I am to you, don’t bother staying.” You swallowed, rushing into the adjoining bathroom before she could say a word.
You panted as you shut the door, bracing your arms on the sink and desperately trying to get a hold of yourself. You were crying, yet you choked it down, the sound never leaving you. You cried silently, you almost always did. She couldn’t see you that way, she must have misspoke, but if she hadn’t…
You pushed the thought from your mind, gritting your teeth as you pulled your hair up, turning the water to scalding. The steam was already flowing by the time you stepped in, the old pipes working well.
You finally stopped the tears when you stepped into the water, she wouldn’t be there when you came out, you knew that. You knew that she wouldn’t allow herself to go any further with you. A fuck, that was it, there was no romance, she wouldn’t let herself. You toweled off quickly, wanting to just get on with your day. There were things you could do, there were always things you could do. You could work. There were some assignments to grade, and the book, of course. There were always things
You wrapped the towel around yourself, tucking it to cover your chest as you hurried to the main room. She wouldn’t be there, you didn’t bother looking. You went straight for the wardrobe, pulling it open and quickly grabbing some high waisted slacks and a tight turtleneck to go with it. You pulled on the bra and underwear, not noticing the other presence in the room until you heard her soft gasp.
You froze, your back tensing as you realized she was behind you, your pants and undergarments already on, yet your shirt still hanging in your hand.
For a moment you couldn’t move. You just stood, you said nothing as you tried to fathom why on earth she would still be there.
You turned slowly, your breath hitching as you saw her there and suddenly the world shifted back into focus. You stared for a moment, she was sitting on your bed, wrapped up in the sheets, tears in her eyes as she stared at you.
“I’m sorry.” She whispered, and you sighed, shaking your head. She hadn’t meant what you had heard, and you knew that, you only let your past effect you. It wasn’t fair. It wasn’t fair to her or to you. It was cruel.
“No, I- that hit too close, I over reacted.” You breathed, “I am sorry.” You swallowed, looking up at her.
“I don’t think you’d ever, do that.” She managed, taking deep breaths and calming herself. You hummed, nodding your head.
“I know, it’s just, that one hurts a bit, I’m sorry.” You swallowed, and she shook her head again.
“You apologize too much.” She murmured, uncertain, and you chuckled, smiling a bit.
“Some don’t think I apologize enough, darling.” You hummed, and her face softened slightly at the term of endearment. You took a deep breath in, staring her down for a moment before you dropped your shirt, walking over to the kettle without bothering to put it on. If she was going to bring up control, then you were going to state your peice. It was well within your right to do so.
The woman wanted to play games, she didn’t know which way she was going. So be it.
“Control, at least in my experience, passes one of two ways.” You hummed calmly, and the woman watched your seeming shift in behavior with interest. “It can be taken, yes, however even if I was inclined, I know enough about you to know that would be an insurmountable task, Larissa.” You tried, and her intake of breath told you that she had caught your meaning.”I couldn’t, even if I had it in me.” You said softly, and this time her breath caught in an entirely different way.
That was soft, wistful, tired, yet pleasantly so. It was the sudden softness in your voice that caught her completely off guard. She didn’t know how you did it. How you could be so soft, so tender in the ravages of your exhaustion.
You turned to look at her, your eyes heavy with something she couldn’t quite name, she didn’t even know if she could understand it. Yet it wasn’t grief, at least not purely. It wasn’t how you looked at her the other night. This was different. Smatterings of little white flowers bloomed across the crown of your head as you gazed at her, the color returning to your cheeks as if just the sight of her helped restore you.
“What does white mean?” She breathed, and you blushed a little deeper, laughing a bit at yourself as you turned back to the kettle, making some tea to occupy your hands.
“White, hmm, it- haha,” you laughed a little nervously. “The closest word I have to it is wonder.” You hummed, and the woman sat up, looking at you.
“Are you blushing, Miss Florere?” She asked with a smirk on her face, and you turned, an equal one on yours as you dropped your arms, shaking out your curls and letting them fall *just so* one teasingly in front of your eye, your scantily clad chest on full display for the woman.
She swallowed as her eyes traced over your body. They flitted from your bra to the clasp of your trousers, darkening a little as she took in your body.
You chuckled darkly, bracing your hands on the table behind you and leaning back, dropping your head as the light from the window behind you streamed in, warming you as you felt the wildness, the part of you that craved to be stripped bare of everything and running through the woods, jumping into streams and rivers, your bare skin touching the earth it grew from, the sunlight caressing you with warmth you felt so rarely.
Larissa stared.
She gaped at you, at the way your skin seemed to glow in the morning light, and a slow smile made its way onto your face.
“I tend to when in the presence of one as charming as yourself, Miss Weems.” You replied, and she couldn’t have swallowed down the blush if she tried. The game, however, stopped as honesty and sincerity took the place of mirth in your eyes. “I don’t want to take your control, Larissa.” You said softly, and her jaw slackened a little. “The only thing I want from you is what you want to give me.” You hummed, and she just stared, the words stolen from her.
You looked honest, almost painfully so, as if you were begging her to believe you, as if the very idea that anything else could be true hurt you more than she could imagine. It was. And she knew it.
“Ophelia, I-“ she stuttered, and the second she hesitated your phone rang. Your eyes flickered to where it lay on your bedside table, and she looked at it.
“Who is it?” You asked, and she swallowed.
“Jenkins,” she hummed, and you went stiff.
“There’s a message, it says ‘code red dash S, AR.’” She puzzled, looking to you in hopes you would make sense of it. What she saw however, was the color drain from your face.
“S?” You husked, launching into action and grabbing the phone from her, answering it and immediately putting it on speaker as you went to the table and opened up the laptop. “Jenkins what is-“ you were cut off as the sound of pained screaming filled the room, a thick Scottish accent over it.
“Christ-“ he yelled, almost as if someone had hit him.
“Where are you?” You asked, and he panted as you heard the screaming warble, as if the voice behind it was changing. Larissa felt her stomach drop.
“In- fuck - room A, Phil I need your help!” He rushed, and you were working faster than Larissa could process, logging into some program on your laptop quickly, a screen popping up that you clicked through, she couldn’t see it clearly, but she could see enough to step back in horror.
You gritted your teeth as you saw them, a young shifter in the room, screaming in pain as they blitzed between forms faster than their body could handle, their screams changing in pitch and tone with their body.
You panickedly grabbed your robe, pulling it over your body and letting your hair down as you flicked on your own camera.
“Patch me into the speakers.” You husked, and Jenkins yelled something you couldn’t understand through the screams.
“How long?” You rushed, and Jenkins shook his head from where you could see from the camera set up in the lab.
“We’re going on seven minutes here!” He yelled, backing away from them as quickly as possible once he had patched your own camera’s feed through.
“Seven- SEVEN?” You hissed, an adult shapeshifter could blitz for maybe ten if they were healthy before it started to permanently harm them, a child in poor condition couldn’t normally go over three.
Larissa blanched, a child in a shifting blitz for seven minutes, she remembered when she had lost control as a young girl, it was painful, excruciatingly painful, sometimes.
“I- I’m not as good at it as you are, Phil!” Jenkins yelled back, and the child flinched, from what you could tell, and your heart shattered.
“Quiet.” You told him, and he stepped back, watching you work. “Hi there,” you swallowed, trying to make out the figure between the morphing faces and screams. “My name is Ophelia, I work at the hospital you are currently in, and I know you’re scared, I know you’re in pain, I’m sorry you are, but I need you to try to calm down for me, I need you to breathe.” You said, and the shifting seemed to slow, the screaming stopping for a moment. “I know it hurts, I do, but we can’t give you anything for the pain until you stop shifting, I’m sorry.” You managed, your voice clearly laden with emotion, yet the calm you used to soothe the child thoroughly enraptured the woman in the room with you. “Take a deep breath, in and out, we need to slow down your heart rate, try to breathe with me, that’s it.” You hummed as you took loud, exaggerated breaths.
The chests were still shifting, and the screams still ripped from the throat of the child, but you could see them slowing, as if they were trying to breathe between them.
“Very good.” You praised, smiling as the shifting slowed a bit. They were listening, at least. “You are in a hospital, for people like you, no one is going to harm you, no one is going to touch you, that’s over. It won’t happen again, never again, alright? Can you tell me your name?” You asked, well aware that answering would be very difficult.
“Thi- this is a h-hospital?” The child choked, and you nodded. The voice was strained, but undeniably young, horrifyingly so.
“Yes, this is the Night Hospital, the man in the room with you works for us, he helps us find-“
“I made it?” The child, the girl, sobbed, and you furrowed your brows for a split second before speaking again.
“Yes, you made it out, its over.” You said gently, and the shifting stopped, shocking both you and Jenkins, even if it was relief that replaced the sudden shock.
Larissa looked at you in utter amazement. You had calmed down a blitzing child, one that your organization seemingly rescued, in a matter of seconds. She understood your voice could be hypnotizing, but that, she almost didn’t understand how you did it. That you were even willing to.
“Can you tell me your name, sweetheart?” You asked the child, the girl, you realized as her natural state became clear.
Her leg was bent wrong, at an angle that shouldn’t have been possible, and the state of her dress, if one could even call it that, was horrifying.
She had blood stains and other things you prayed weren’t what you thought they were smeared all over it, the worn, thin nightgown providing almost no coverage. She was shaking, trying her best to cover herself as she frantically looked around, her eyes fliting from Jenkins nervously to where the screen you knew she could see you on was.
“M-my name is Lily.” She stuttered, and you nodded, your emotions tugging at the calm exterior you had to keep.
“Lily, that’s a beautiful name sweetheart, how old are you?” You asked gently, and she took a deep breath, listening to your voice. It was calming to her, the depth in it, the timbre almost sounded familiar, as if you had been where the girl was now.
“I- I’m eleven.” She shook, and you felt yourself cringe, your hands clenching into the fists under the table. She couldn’t see it, but Larissa could.
Your fingers dug into your palms, your nails settling into old scars that you were sure would be reopened again and again before the end of your time.
Larissa stared at you in a mixture of grief and horror as she realized what was happening.
You looked at Lily, your eyes trying to find anything you could to help her. The telltale bruises around her wrists and ankles told you all you needed to know, and your throat tightened as you asked a question you could guess the answer to.
“Jenkins, where is she from?” You rasped, and the girl looked down in shame, Jenkins swallowing down his own reaction. He didn’t even have to say the words, one look and you knew.
“The Pearl Garden.” He admitted, and Larissa felt her stomach drop. She knew what that was. All shapeshifters knew what that was. The Pearl Garden was a notorious sex trafficking ring, specifically for shapeshifters. In three words, Larissa knew exactly why you were talking to this child, and exactly why it was you that had been called to do so. Because no one else dealt with this. Things clicked into place. You saved children, this was how. This was one of the ways.
Your jaw tensed for a fraction of a second. She was eleven. Only eleven, she was far too young to have been in that place. None of them should have ever been in that place. You closed your eyes for a moment, took a breath, and looked up at the girl.
“Lily, you are in a safe place now. The people here, there, will not touch you, they will not ask you to do anything for anyone’s benefit other than yours, and you will always have the ability to say no.” You said firmly, but calmly. Your voice left no room for doubt, there was no question in it, not even close to one.
She sobbed.
You took a deep breath in, looking up for a moment and fighting away your own tears before looking at the girl again. No matter how many times you did this, you were never fully able to ignore the emotions it brought in you. You had always envied Georgiana’s calm exterior, at least around the children, yet now you were the one they all turned to, and you felt far less unbreakable.
“It’s alright, Lily, it’s going to be alright.” You said gently, and the girl sobbed. It was releif, for a moment, before the disbelief crept into her, the fear this was all a trap. You had seen it many times before.
“How do you know?” She spat through the tears. She couldn’t imagine it, she couldn’t imagine a place that was safe, not for her. She couldn’t even think of the idea. It didn’t work in her mind.
She pulled herself in, a small sob leaving her lips as she pulled her leg closer, it was mangled, hanging at a completely wrong angle. The second the leg moved she sobbed, biting back a scream at the pain it must have caused.
Shifting with that must have been hell.
You took a deep breath in, looking over her injuries again, more critically this time.
“Because I’m a doctor, and I wish I could say you’re the only girl I’ve dealt with in your condition, but you’re not. I wish I hadn’t dealt with many before you, but I have. And I will help more after. Just like the woman who began this place helped me.” You said gently, and the girl’s eyes snapped to you.
You knew what you were doing, as did Larissa. She could see it clearly. You aligned yourself with the girl, ever so gently exposing a touch of your own pain to show her she wasn’t alone.
It was beautiful and strong, yet so, so sad.
“Someone helped you?” Lily asked, and you nodded gently.
“Yes. A woman like you actually.” You smiled a bit. Georgiana was no doctor, but she was the one who had gotten you out. She was the one who gave you everything, and even now, she was the one you turned to, the memory of her at least.
“Are you like me?” She asked you, and you smiled sadly.
“No, however I have been lucky enough to work with some brilliant people with your classification.” You said, and the girl just shook her head in shock, her brows furrowing.
It didn’t make sense to her. Why would someone work with what she was, monsters? Filth to be beaten and used for their bodies. You hummed, watching the girl look confused.
“Would it be alright if my friend Jenkins attatched an IV to you so we can get some nutrients in you before a doctor gets there?” You asked her, and she looked nervously to him.
“I-“ she stuttered, and you shook your head.
“Just an IV, nothing else, all he has to do is take a cotton swab and clean your forearm, then a needle, all your clothes stay on, and he can do it without touching you very much.” You explained. She still looked scared.
“What does it do?” She asked, and you hummed, nodding.
“It will help us give you the nutrients, the things your body needs, that it hasn’t been getting. Because you are a shapeshifter, you need a little more of certain things, and you probably haven’t been getting them.” You said as gently as possible. “It won’t make you feel any different, maybe a little less achy if anything, but it doesn’t sedate you, make you go to sleep, I mean, or do anything to your mind. It isn’t meant to make you feel anything, it just helps your body, so we can start to get you feeling better.” You explained. Lily stared for a moment, evaluating, seeing if she could trust you. The girl took a deep breath in, nodding.
“Ok.” She said, and you smiled. She was brave, that was good, it would help her.
“Good, thank you. Jenkins, is there a female doctor on call?” You asked the man after thanking her.
“Moss is on ‘er way.” He said, his accent much softer and warmer. He was dampening the more aggressive nature he was known to exhibit.
In his defense, he was a massive six foot tall man with a beard and just his hands dwarved most, making the children you often picked up terrified of him. The dark glasses he often wore and fangs didn’t tend to help. Yet, despite what he looked like, or even often said, he was genuine and kind beneath all of it. Trustworthy above all, and many of the children eventually grew to love him.
“I’m goin to take this and clean this spot on yer arm, alright lass?” He asked, showing her the spot on his arm, before laying his hand face up, allowing her to give her arm to him, which she did, even if slowly.
You watched the interaction with such hope and pride, it nearly brought tears to your eyes. You couldn’t do it without him, you were never able. You had survived without her, barely, but you couldn’t do this without him. The three of you had always been together, always worked in tandem. With two it was strained, with one, it would fall apart.
You didn’t notice Larissa standing off to the side, sitting slowly on the bed and watching you work in amazement. You just spoke. All you had to do was speak, and they followed.
“Well done, you were a lot calmer than her the first time we had to give her one.” He winked to the girl, hooking a thumb at the screen, and she cracked a slip of a smile for a moment before looking at you.
As did Larissa, she had known you were taken from an institute, but hearing about it was different.
“You?” She asked, and you nodded.
“Yes, Jenkins there and another woman got me out of a place, not exactly like the place he got you out of, but it had some similarities.” You said, and she swallowed, nodding. She hesitated for only a second before looking back to you, the deadened look in her eyes telling you what was about to happen before she spoke.
“Did they Fuck you there too?” She asked, and the tension that seized your body was barely noticeable, even with the horror of a girl so small asking you that question. You heard Larissa choke, and you did your very best to ignore it. She had nearly seen it happen, there was no point in hiding it.
She, on the other hand, felt sick. She felt her face heat as if she was about to retch. You and this child, the both of you had been through enough to make her sick. It was when you finally spoke, however, that broke her.
“Sometimes,” you breathed. “It was more a punishment or a reward for some of the men there then it was for me to be made to work like that.” You explained calmly, and the girl nodded.
“I used to hear stories about someone like that. Someone like us who got out. They beat us when they found out we were spreading them though.” She said, and you felt your heart shatter for the girl.
“They didn’t want you to have any hope, dear.” You sighed, and she looked up at you.
“They said she was an angel.” She whispered, and you sucked in a breath, looking away for a moment and fighting back the tears. You had worked hard, you had risked your life countless times, but you were not that, you would never be that.
Jenkins caught it. As did Larissa. What he knew that she didn’t, however, was exactly how you had gotten that call sign. You were given that call by girls who had been saved by you, by the lot of them. The fact that others, outside of your orginization had heard of you, would call you that, you just felt your heart break.
You had become a symbol of hope, yet you would never be able to fufill that hope for all of them. You would never be able to save all of them, no matter how hard you tried.
“The Angel medic?” Jenkins asked the girl, and you shook your head, looking away. Shame, Larissa realized. You were ashamed of it. You didn’t feel you deserved it, so every time the title was said, it filled you with shame.
“Yes, there- there were three of them, they used to say if you saw one that meant you would get out.” Lily struggled. “The Matron, the Maverick, and the Medic,” she whispered. You took a deep breath in, clearing your throat. You could use this, even if you didn’t like this, you could use it.
“The man standing next to you, his callsign is Maverick,” you sighed. “He’s unorthodox, yes, but you can trust him.” You said gently, and the girl looked at him for a moment, then looked at you. And she began to cry. “Hush dear, it’s alright, it’s all over now.” You said gently, your eyes boring into the screen as if you could take her into your arms on that alone. “How far out is Moss?” You asked Jenkins, only to be answered by the door swinging open and a familiar blonde striding into the room, her lab coat embroidered at the bottom by many of the girls she had helped.
“It’s good to hear you, Medic, we’ve missed you.” She hummed, and you smiled.
“I’ve missed you all too, Moss. More than you know.” You breathed, and the woman chuckled, fixing her glasses and staring into the camera for a moment, a familiar shiver settling over you.
“Mmm, I think I do.” She hummed, before turning to the girl on the table. “Hello love, my name is Jane Moss, I’m a doctor here, I see Mr. Jenkins has already given you an IV line, so what we’re going to do is-“
“You’re the medic?” The girl asked you, and you swallowed. You hated it.
“That is part of my callsign, yes.” You said as Jenkins sighed.
“It’s her, lass, she may hate the sign she was given, but that’s the angel medic.” Jenkins said calmly.
Moss hummed as she looked at the girl, evaluating. Moss was a powerful psychic, to the point where she could often look at a person and know everything about their life. She didn’t have visions like you, rather she just knew. She could read minds as well, and for that she had been used for terrible things, just as you had. The woman was a few years older than you, however she had come on to the team later, but still worked under Georgiana long enough to know exactly how many of the standard protocols came to be.
“You’re her.” The girl breathed, and you swallowed.
“Yes, that is my call sign. Angel Medic, and Jenkins there is Maverick.” You explained, and the girl looked at you utterly amazed.
What you missed, however, when your focus was entirely on her, was the way Larissa was looking at you. You missed the shock on her face, the tears in her eyes.
She knew who you were.
She knew who the three people that little girl was talking about were. As an outcast educator, of course she knew who those three people were. She worked with outcast children, she herself had met many who had been hurt, but not to that point, thankfully never to that point.
She knew of the Matron, who had established an underground facility that took in abused outcast children. She knew it was in Europe, most did, but had no idea where, no one did. The Matron was supposedly terrifyingly powerful, many had called her a demon, a woman that could bring places to their knees with a word in the right ear. The true identity of whom had to be some high-power government official, it had even been rumored that she was royalty.
She knew the Maverick was the Matron’s right hand, a very, very powerful fighter, known for decimating the “guards” of the places the three of them broke into. A monster, or a knight, depending on who was speaking.
And the medic. The medic was supposedly the doctor that fixed up those children, that stitched them together. An angel, like many said, or a mad scientist. A woman so dedicated to her work that she was said to have lost her mind. Yet here you were.
“Oh my god,” The woman whispered, sitting down on the bed. She knew exactly who you were. She knew. It all began to make perfect sense. The life you lived, the one you had to keep hidden from everyone, it was one she knew of, even if you never told her.
“Is- is the matron here?” The girl asked, and you, Jenkins, and Moss all froze. She was asking you, yet your eyes went far away for a second, a deep breath before you looked back at her.
“Not anymore love, I’m sorry.” You swallowed, and Larissa looked at you, she could see the guilt creeping up your body, into your very heart.
“Oh,” the girl sighed, and you did your very best to smile. Georgiana was gone, but that didn’t mean she couldn’t still help you.
“She was like you though, a shape shifter.” You said fondly, and the girl looked up at you. So did Larissa. She could feel her own heart pounding, yet why was still a question she didn’t have the heart to answer.
“Like- like me?” The girl stuttered, and you nodded.
“Yes, she was incredible too, sharp as a knife and incredibly kind.” You breathed, and the girl shook her head.
“Like me? A woman like me made this place- how could, no, that’s not, that’s not right.” Lily protested, and you tilted your head in concern, Moss approached the girl as the two of you spoke.
“I need to take your dress off to examine you, Lily, would you like Mr. Jenkins to go?” She asked, and Lily swallowed in fear. You didn’t need Moss to tell you the girl was horrified by the idea.
“N-no, it’s ok, I can- I can h-handle it.” She whispered, and you shook your head minutely, Jenkins reading your signal loud and clear.
“I ‘ave to go do the reports anyway, lass. I’ll be back when the doctor is done, alrigty?” He asked, and the girl swallowed, nodding.
“Thank you.” She whispered, and Jenkins nodded solemnly.
“Moxie is outside and we can always send Sugar if Flit can’t go in case of emergency, to go get Phil- the medic I mean.” He corrected himself, and you nodded.
“Wait! Can you stay? Doctor, please?” The girl asked, and you nodded instantly. The worry on your face softened, revealing kindness and warmth Larissa even felt, sitting away from you and watching from the side.
“Of course sweetheart, I’ll be here as long as you need.” You said gently, and she relaxed a little, the pain of lessening the rigidity of her spine made clear as she flinched.
“Phil?” Jenkins said before he left, and you hummed. “It’s not your fault, you’re where you need to be.” He said, and you swallowed, your lips twitching as you tried to stop the tears that threatened to come at the statement. Of course he knew. You tried to ignore the guilt. You should be there, more than anything you should be there, and yet here you were, an ocean away, hiding from a man dead set on finding you. Ophelia had to go so that the Medic would survive. Yet that meant that neither could help as they wished.
It was silent for a moment, you just trying to steady yourself enough to respond without your voice breaking. Larissa could barely see you, but she saw enough, and she fought the urge to go to you then and there.
“Thank you.” You managed, finally, the words prying their way from your chest as if your closing throat was caging them in. He nodded, leaving the girl in the room with Moss, who began to approach her carefully.
“Would you like me to talk you through what I’m doing, or would you like to keep talking to the medic?” She asked, and Lily tried her very best to be strong, an action that had your heart breaking for her.
“Just do it Please, I understand.” She swallowed, and Moss nodded, taking a pair of clothing shears and cutting away the thin fabric before pulling a sheet over the girl’s body, allowing her to hide whatever Moss wasn’t actively looking at. You turned your head way, but not before you saw the mangled leg, to the full extent, bruising everywhere and the angle indicating that the femur had been snapped.
You almost saw red, they had snapped, her femur. You wished you could still feel sick, that you didn’t see these things all too often, and yet you did. Moss spoke gently, but with clinical precision.
“Contusions around the wrists and ankles, multiple laceration points along those,” she listed, and you hummed. You may have gotten to a point where these things sounded almost common to you, Larissa, however, had not. Her face grew paler, her stomach beginning to upset as Moss continued. “Considerable trauma to the genital region.” Moss said, and Larissa gagged. Your eyes snapped to her, wide in fear as your mind caught up to the fact that she was there.
Lily startled at the sound and your expression, pulling the sheet around her tighter and looking to you in fear.
“Is there- is there someone else there?” She trembled, and Moss looked to you in worry. You glanced once to Larissa, who was shaking her head in apology with her hand clamped over her mouth. You took a deep breath in, looking back to the screen. You would not lie. You would do many things, but you would not lie.
“Yes, there is a woman in the room with me, however she cannot see the screen, and she is- she is someone I trust.” You said carefully, the girl took a deep breath in, nervous, and Moss looked at you in utter shock.
“ You. Trusting someone. Will wonders never cease?” She said, and you sighed, ignoring your colleague’s antics and looking to the girl.
“She’s like you as well, actually.” You hummed, and the girl furrowed her brows.
“But- but people like me- we’re meant to-“ she began, and you cut her off before she could go any further.
“You’re not meant to do anything other than live, dear.” You said softly, and she looked at you, almost confused. “Live your lives, find joy, feel emotion, find love and friendship, find a career, a passion. Find whatever you wish.” You said softly, slowly, knowing that this girl had likely been told that she didn’t deserve those things countless times. Her big eyes began to fill with tears, confusion and pain written across her face.
“No, no that’s not- we are liars, toys, we aren’t meant to be trusted, we can’t just do whatever we want to like others can!” She protested, and you took a deep breath in. You weren’t angry at her, you never were angry at them when they had been told that very thing countless times.
Larissa looked mortified. This is what the Pearl Garden did. This is what it made the children it ensnared. It didn’t just make them into sex slaves, it made them beleive that is what they were worth.
“You are a person, Lily, you are just a person. Nothing more, nothing less.” You said firmly, and she shook her head as she cried, she was panicking now.
“No! No! We’re monsters, freaks- we’re evil, I-“ she began, but you cut her off with something that had Larissa’s breath catching in her throat.
“Martinique, Launden James, Madame DeAubry, General Nicholai Strauss, Mr. James Coulder, Liandra Mosai, Micheal Brown, Ingrid Denosi, Kilani Assalan, March Lauren, Mr. Grey, the Lady Fantrau, Dr. Isadora Feilds, Dr. Minisori Almeirs, Jane Selkin.” You said firmly, and Larissa looked at you in utter shock.
You were listing shapeshifters. Well known, and some much less well known, shapeshifters, throughout history, who had made impacts in the world. Some much more recent, but some centuries old.
It was shocking, she had never heard someone discuss her own history before, even most shapeshifters knew very little of it, but for you to know it, and so intimately, for you to use it to prove to a young shifter that this is what she could become, it floored her.
“Georgiana Whitley, better known as ‘The Matron.’” You continued, your voice catching for a moment. She knew the name, that was the name of the woman who had taken you in, freed you from that horrible place and taught you.
That was the woman who in all likelihood was her aunt in disguise.
“These are men, women, and individuals who have changed the very course of history, who have changed the world, for the better.” You said to the girl, and her brows furrowed in misunderstanding. “Every single one of them was a shapeshifter, Lily, every single one made this world a better place. They were not monsters, they were not toys, they were intelligent, strong, fierce, and loving people. Some had families, some had children, but all of them had lives, you deserve to live your life Lily, as fully as you wish.” You breathed, the passion in you striking her, even through the screen.
“But I- how would I even- but what if I’m not like them?” She asked you, and you smiled gently, taking a deep breath in to calm you after your near-rant.
“I’m not asking you to be like them, dear. I’m asking you to be like you. ” You said kindly, gently, and Larissa could feel her own tears forming at your words. The things you said, she had wanted to hear them every day as a child, and watching you say them hit her in a way she never expected.
It was quiet for a bit, Moss examining the girl while you hummed occasionally at the notes she gave you. You spoke casually with the girl, answering questions. Yes, there were actual teachers there, yes, they would teach her. There were all sorts of things there, someone could take her to pick out her own clothes soon, a concept wich seemed to shock the girl, but for now she would have to use the spare clothes at the hospital.
“Alright Lily, Dr. Moss can set your leg, however you will likely want to be unconscious while she does. If you don’t want anything that will put you to sleep we can try to avoid it, however at the very least I would like to give you something that will numb the area.” You sighed, and the girl swallowed.
“You can’t…” she murmured, and you frowned slightly.
“We won’t give you any drugs without your permission dear, but I really would recommend…”
“Not that, ma’am, I mean you can’t fix it.” She said, and you tilted your head a little.
“My name is Ophelia, or Medic if you prefer, you do not have to call me ma’am, I hold no power over you,” you said gently, and Larissa felt her eyes soften at the way you knew to speak to the young girl without even thinking. You corrected every engrained instinct as if it was nothing. “Now why wouldn’t we be able to heal you?” You asked, and she swallowed.
“I- I don’t have good control, I’m not strong enough.” She whispered, her voice broken and stained with shame. “It’s why they did it, they were punishing me for ch-changing at the wrong ti-ime.” She cried, and immediately Larissa looked at you.
Your eyes were fixed solely on the girl, she required all of your attention at the moment, yet the way you looked at her was gentle, kind, even in its firmness. She could see your lip quiver slightly, the way your throat bobbed as you tried to fight back a reaction to the girl’s pain. You wouldn’t show it, not to her, you would never show the anger or the pain you felt for the children to them, not if you could help it.
Larissa shook.
She remembered the punishments her father would give her if she ever slipped in her control, she remembered the ruler, she remembered the switch, she remembered the basement room, and the hunger it brought.
“Darling, Lily, firstly, you will never be punished for that, ever again. I promise you, I promise.” You said softly, and the girl stared up at you through the monitor.
“But, you still can’t fix it.” She whispered, hanging her head. You shook your own.
“I didn’t say that, dear.” You smiled a little. “Moss, I beleive she’s old enough and heavy enough to take the lightest dose, is she-“ you began, and the doctor was already doing the math on a paper.
“Just a few kilograms over what she needs to be, medic.” The woman nodded, and you nodded before looking to the girl.
“We can give you something called S-13, it is a shot, similar to the way we would use a local anesthetic. What it does is dampen your ability, temporarily, while you heal.” You explained easily. You had invented the serum years earlier, with Georgiana. It was used for girls like this one, so they didn’t have to worry about harming themselves further if they shifted while injured.
You would also use it in emergencies to force children to stop shifting, if they were running the risk of destroying themselves permanently or worse. The emergency dose, however, if given to a child too young or god forbid too small, could cause permanent side effects.
Larissa gaped at you.
You could dampen the abilities. Of a shapeshifter . You had the drugs, the power and intelligence to do that. It was horrifying. It was freeing .
“You can stop it?” Lily whispered, and you swallowed, tilting your head from side to side.
“Not exactly. I can give you something that will make your ability almost, muted. You’ll still be able to use it if you push hard enough, but you will be much less likely to shift uncontrollably.” You explained.
“ Oh .” She muttered, and Moss looked to you in worry. The woman had seen something in Lily’s mind then.
“You absolutely don’t have to take it, Lily, but it can help you if you would like-” She cut you off before you could even finish.
“Can you take it away forever?” She asked, and you froze, your eyes going wide. It was silent for a moment, your heart hammering in your head as you looked at her with an expression as if you wished you could wrap her up and squeeze all of the pain out of her. You wished you could.
“No, it does not affect you permanently, nor would I want it to.” You said softly. Larissa looked like she might cry at any second, yet you focused on the girl still.
“I just want to be normal…” Lily murmured, and you swallowed.
“You are. You are normal, for you.” You said. “There is no sense in trying to be someone else’s normal. All that would do is hurt you. It would take away what you can be, the gifts you have.” You said gently, and this time, Larissa heard it. She heard the strain, she saw your hands shaking beneath the table. Beneath all that strength, the calm you were intent on showing, you were begging.
You were scared and begging.
Another little girl forced to destroy herself. Another little girl in pain, watching her abilities be ripped from her control and forced into a perversion. You were just another girl, beneath the woman, another girl in pain, whose body was a toy, who’s ability was a weapon, and whose mind was meant to be quieted.
She cried.
She felt the tears run down her face more than was aware she was crying. It hurt. Seeing you like this, seeing how similar you were to this girl, so tiny and broken, it hurt her.
“This isn't a gift-” Lily protested, only to run headfirst into your rebuttal.
“That isn’t for anyone other than you to decide, but you make that choice on your own, Lily, no one else.” You said. “You can become anyone you want to be, alright? Your ability will likely be a part of that, but you can do anything.” You breathed, and she stared at you, slowly calming down.
“How do you know?” She asked you after a moment, and you hummed, thinking for a bit.
“The institute you are currently in was founded by a shapeshifter.” You began. “She was horribly mistreated as a child, yes. Her brother even, the things he did to her…” You muttered, loosing yourself for a moment. Larissa swallowed, as did you. If Georgiana really was her aunt, that would mean the man you were talking about was… you cut the both of you off from your thinking. “But she became one of the strongest, most good-hearted people I know.” You sighed, smiling softly. “The girl who will likely come around to help you later, she’s a shifter, she’s also the top of her class and a harder worker than anyone i’ve ever met.” You smiled, thinking of Mirella.
Moss saw the girl calm, and she began to work again. This time, Lily’s attention stayed on you as you spoke. You inhaled deeply, thinking.
“Right now, I’m working at a school run by a shifter.” You smiled, and the girl’s eyes went wide in amazement.
“A school?” She asked, and you smiled a little, a slight laugh to your smile before you continued.
“Yes, she runs a school, a brilliant woman too. And a wildly talented shifter.” You added, and you took Larissa’s breath away. Your small smile, your compliments, the light that came to your eyes, it floored her.
“Really?” Lily asked you, and you smiled.
“Really,” you hummed, looking into her eyes, even through the screen. “You are a person, Lily, you will experience love, joy, whatever you want.” You said, and the girl just stared for a moment.
“I’ll take it.” She mumbled, and you sighed.
“The S-13? Or the sedation?” You asked, and Lily nodded.
“Both, I want both,” She said, before looking to Moss.
“Could you fix me, please?” She asked, and Moss herself, the hardest mask of any of you, cracked for a moment, a broken inhale before she nodded, a small
“Of course, it would be my honor.” Falling from her lips before she set to work.
“Will you stay with me? Ophelia?” The girl asked, and you nodded, smiling sadly.
“Of course darling.” You said softly, and the girl nodded as Moss set to work.
She took the girl’s blood first, running diagnostics and panels as you entertained the girl through it. She had to check for signs of any other sedatives in her system first. It would also check for any diseases those who had, used, her could have transmitted. You hummed, looking to Larissa once or twice, making sure she was alright.
She looked shocked, and the tears came occasionally, but she made no move to leave or try to speak to you while you were with the girl.
Eventually you got her onto more lighthearted subjects, you explaining what the rest of the facility had, other than the medical lab she was currently in.
The mobile x-ray unit was used, and Lily kept speaking to you to calm herself.
“Who are you looking at?” The girl asked, and you blushed a bit, blinking a few times.
“I can’t tell you that, but she’s a shifter, like you.” You explained calmly. The girl nodded slowly before a slow smile spread across her face. Moss chuckled and you swallowed, knowing full well the woman could read Lily’s mind without even bothering to try.
“It’s morning there, isn’t it?” Lily asked, and you furrowed your brows.
“It is, yes, why?” You hummed, and she giggled. You raised a brow and she laughed a little harder.
“Do you have a wife, Medic?” The girl asked, and you furrowed your brows.
“No, I don’t.” You answered slowly, and the girl smirked a bit. You would have been unnerved had it not been the first time she cracked a smile.
“You woke up with her then?” The girl smiled, and you blushed and scoffed, adamantly looking anywhere other than Larissa. Moss, for her part, tried and largely failed at stifling a laugh.
“Ah, so now I’m having my life decisions questioned by an eleven year old, wonderful.” You sighed, but the mirth in your voice shone through.
“No, no it’s not that!” The girl protested, and you chuckled.
“It’s alright Lily, I don’t mind being teased.” You assured her, and Moss prepped the serum, taking it and injecting it, monitoring her pulse as she did so. She watched, cringed a bit, but didn’t seem horrified by it.
“I- you slept with someone?” She asked, and you blushed, turning bright red before you realized why she was asking. What she was asking. She wasn’t asking about sex. She knew about sex, that’s not what this was
“I slept in a bed with someone, yes.” You said softly, ignoring the way Larissa turned bright red. Lily looked at you with the widest eyes you had seen in a long time, and your own softened slowly.
“And- and you let them touch you?” Lily asked, and you nodded, your throat closing up a little bit.
“It feels nice. When you care for them, and you know they care for you, it feels nice, Lily.” You said softly.
“It can feel nice?” She whimpered, and you did your best to smile, despite the way your nails dug into your palms under the table.
Larissa, however, saw the blood beginning to drip from your hands, you had been cutting yourself with your nails this whole time. She saw your chest rise with the slow breath you heaved in as if a weight was crushing your chest. You blinked back tears, focusing on the girl on the screen.
“It can feel, it can feel like love, darling.” You breathed roughly, and Larissa’s heart stopped. The girl just gaped at you. “Like safety and warmth, and joy. Touch can feel like all of those things.” You sighed. “With time and care, with- with the right person, it’s feels good.” You smiled sadly, and the girl looked up at you.
“You promise?” She asked you, and you smiled, nodding.
“I promise.” You whispered, and she nodded seriously, her eyes drooping.
“When you wake up, your leg will be all set, Lily.” Moss said next to her, and the girl looked around a little nervously, slightly panicking at the familiar feeling of loosing consciousness against her will. Moss took her hand, soothing her gently, and you talked to the girl softly until Moss read the monitor to you.
“She’s out.” The woman said, and Jenkins came back in a second later, he had been waiting for her to go out, it seemed. Your mood shifted instantly, your body going rigid as you stared holes into the table in front of you, dropping your head down.
“Phil, there was nothing more you could have done, we’ll treat her as best we can-“ Jenkins attempted to console you, only for you to continue to stare into the pit.
“Eleven.” You whispered, and Larissa looked at you in concern.
Your voice didn’t even sound like your voice, it sounded broken, barren, as if someone had drug you into the dark with no chance of escape.
“Phil…” he tried again, and the sound that came out of you had all those who could hear nearly shaking in fear and worry.
“ELEVEN!” You screamed, standing and knocking the chair you were on back.
“Eleven years old! That is a child ! She is a child !” You cried out, your hands begging to shake. Larissa could see dark vines sprouting from your palms, beginning to wrap around your wrists. They dug in, it looked painful.
“Ophelia, calm down-“ Jenkins worried. He wasn’t there, he couldn’t calm you down. Even he could barely do it normally, and now, thousands of miles away, you ran the risk of loosing it, of hurting yourself or worse, much, much worse.
“They’re getting younger- they’re getting younger and I- I can’t- I can’t-“ the panic set in, rage and fear were mixing in a horrific storm, consuming you, eating you alive. You leaned forward on the table, trying your best to breathe, even as you felt the pain come when your own vines dug into your arms. “Nothing! I can’t even keep them out of that place! I can’t- I can’t do anything from here! I’m just letting it happen and I- I-“ you screamed out, the pain more inside your heart and mind then anything.
You froze when you felt hands around your upper arms, just below your shoulders.
You wanted to cry out, to scream, to tell her to get away, to back away before you hurt her. You didn’t even realize you were in pain, let alone that you were bleeding.
“Alright, that’s enough, take a deep breath.” She whispered, and you shook, holding your arms further in front of you, pulling them away from where they could harm her, as if that made a difference when it came down to it. The gesture was futile, but made nonetheless.
“Don’t, please,” You whispered, but the woman didn’t move, her hands just continued running up and down your arms, attempting to calm you.
She was there.
It didn’t matter what else was going on, she was there .
The vines dug in deeper, the thorns were beginning to dig into your skin and the droplets of blood starting to run.
But she was there.
Her hands ran steady patterns on your upper arms, slowly reaching down, slowly tracing the dark constricting plantlife creeping up your arms. It stopped. As her hands ran over it, as she whispered in your ear, it stopped.
“Ophelia, breathe, let go of it, just breathe.” She instructed, and you didn’t realize how your lungs were burning, constricting just like the vines around your arms.
She leaned in closer, murmuring words in your ear, her warmth, her safety, even the scent of her perfume, her skin, taking you from the screaming void inside your mind.
And it stopped.
The vines fell away, revealing some cuts and constriction marks, but nothing more. You panted as you leaned forward fully on the desk, rocking yourself back and forth in a motion Larissa recognized, you did it when you needed to breathe, to find a way back into your body, and she now saw it for what it was, you were seeking the comfort you were never given.
Her hands landed on your lower back, guiding you, grounding you. You nodded through the shaking breaths you took, humming when her hands pressed in a little harder. You wanted to feel it, you had to.
“I- it’s alright, I’m alright.” You panted, and Jenkins whistled low, staring up at the screen and watching Larissa in utter amazement. The woman would have blushed at the attention had she been looking anywhere other than you.Yet Jenkins just watched in utter amazement.
There was one other person who could calm you down like that, and she had been gone for a few years now. The only other way you could come out of a spiral was if you managed to pull yourself from it, or if it got worse, sedatives. That wasn’t a bad one, but still, it shocked him.
“Who the bloody ‘ell is that, and can we hire ‘er?” Jenkins breathed, and you groaned low.
“Jenkins,” you warned, and the man just whistled.
“She put ‘er hands on you and you jus’ feckin stopped, she calmed ye!” He exclaimed. “Christ, I’m sure she’d be a fine feckin fit ‘round ‘ere-“ he began.
“Fergus Jenkins!” You yelled, looking at him with hard eyes that made him instantly raise his hands in surrender. “She will- she will Never be put in that kind of danger under my watch, do you understand me?” You nearly yelled, and his eyes softened. That he didn’t expect. You just snapped at him over the woman with you, and that, was something he far from expected.
“Christ Lass, alright, I meant nothin’ by it.” He breathed, and you swallowed, dropping your head again. “What I wanna know is who in the hell you care enough about other than your niece and sister to guard like that.” He hummed, looking over Larissa before his eyes went wide. “Oh feck.” He swallowed, and you raised a brow. That was a look of recognition on his face. You didn’t know why he would know who Larissa was, but you had an idea of how.
“Careful.” You warned again, you could feel Larissa tensing behind you. She didn’t know what was going on, but she wasn’t quite sure she liked being the center of attention this way. You stayed strong however, putting yourself between her and the screen, making sure the two people watching knew that you wouldn’t back down, even if you trusted them.
“Hey Moss, do ye know if-“ he began, before the doctor cut him off.
“Yes, the only known shapeshifter operating an academy in North America would indeed be Larissa Weems, which correlates with what we know Ophelia’s sister’s roomate’s name was.” She began, and your eyes went wide. “Not to mention that yes, that is the woman Ophelia used to envision to calm herself down when- when- Georgiana…” the woman muttered before trailing off, seemingly lost in thought before falling silent and going back to her work. She had realized then, there was a relation, or likely was.
“Ya alrite Moss?” Jenkins asked, and the woman bobbed her head back and forth, making you swallowed. “Damn, I feckin love havin’ a mind reader on staff.” The man grumbled, only half joking. You scoffed, looking at Moss.
“I have reason to believe whatever you just glimpsed is true.” You sighed, and she nodded slowly, not looking up from her work on the girl. The woman saw into people’s minds, she tended to get overwhelmed by it, and the last thing you would expect her to do is maintain eye contact or speak if she was indeed overwhelmed.
“Phil, ye realize that she- that her case is-“ Jenkins began, and you cut him off.
“That is hers to tell me, Jenkins.” You said firmly, and Larissa looked between him on the screen and you standing just in front of her.
You could feel her tensing behind you, shutting down more with every word he said
“Ophelia, I’m serious, that file is- I’m not talking about a beat up kid here, you’re already involved with-”
“Jenkins, it is her choice to tell me, if she chooses to.” You cut him off, and he stared at you, his eyes softening.
“Ophelia,” He worried, and you nodded, trying a smile. He was protective, and for that you were infinitely grateful, but there were some things he could not protect you from.
“I know too much, Jenkins, I know too much already.” You swallowed. “Everything else is up to her to tell me.” You finished, and you felt Larissa look down at you in surprise. She didn’t know what to say. You were giving her the choice. You were leaving it up to her, she would make the decision to tell you about her past. She knew you could find out almost instantly, she was aware of that possibly more than she had ever been, but you chose to let her tell you. Your sister had always pried, always, not a thing was left to Larissa’s privacy, Morticia had to know everything. She wanted to know, you wanted her to tell you.
Jenkins grimaced, but nodded nonetheless.
“Damn Georgie and I for raising you to be honest.” He huffed, and you hummed, a small smile gracing your face before your eyes saddened as you looked to the girl on the table. She would be alright, you hoped. You were horrified to say you had dealt with worse, but the girl seemed strong, that was good. You swallowed, looking from Jenkins to Larissa.
“Miss Weems, this is Jenkins, you’ve heard him on the phone before, I believe.” You hummed, and she did her best to smile. At any other time it would have been cute to you how flustered she was to meet your, in a way, family.
“It’s lovely to meet you Mr. Jenkins.” Larissa smiled awkwardly and you sighed, scooting to the side and pulling up the other chair to the table. She might as well join you. Larissa looked to you nervously. “Are you certain?” She said quietly, and you smiled, tilting your head up at her.
Jenkins was nearly knocked on his ass. He hadn’t seen you look at someone with that much trust in years. Even just the way you could look at her was shocking, it almost looked like love. He was floored.
“She wouldn’t have introduced you if she wasn’t.” Jenkins answered for you, and you scoffed at the man.
“Yes, yes, Thank you Jenkins .” You sighed, and he laughed, you were happy. Something about this woman made you happy, and he would do anything in his power to keep it that way.
The door opened and Larissa watched as a tall woman, an extremely built woman, with almost fluorescent pink hair walked in. What Larissa’s eyes went to however, was the fact that she was dressed entirely in tactical gear and carrying an assault rifle.
You, however, acted as if this was normal.
“Doc! It’s been forever, how are you?” She asked with an accent Larissa couldn’t quite identify. It was Eastern European, but she couldn’t tell from where. You smiled.
“Hello there Mox, I’m alright how are-“ you began, only to once again be cut off.
“Is that the Weems girl?” She cut, her voice gruff, and you sighed, grimacing. The way she said it concerned you, but you did your best to ignore it.
“Oh good god, how do you all know who she is?” You groaned, and Moxie’s face twitched.
“Because the only way to keep you safe is to dig into what you hate telling us. Your sister being one point.” The woman gruffed, and you sighed, looking to Larissa.
“This is Moxie, her and Jenkins make up my security detail when I’m home or in the field, despite the fact that there are others who need more protection than I do. ” You gritted, and Jenkins rolled his eyes as Moxie narrowed hers.
“Doc, do you know who that woman’s father is?” She sneered, and you swallowed, shaking your head.
Larissa looked petrified. She hadn’t spoken to- not even seen her father since she was thirteen, but if he was anything like he used to be…
“No, nor do I want to get involved. She will tell me if she chooses to-“
“You are already fucking involved, as involved as you can be- that family- all of them- you are talking about fucking horrific -“ Moxie interrupted, and you shook your head, cutting her off with a finality that had the woman almost fuming.
“ Enough .” You said, and she crossed her arms. Moxie was stubborn as a mule and often very strict with protocol, meaning this was about hell for her. She would, however, always listen to you, as you were the boss.
“It is dangerous.” She said, and you hummed, taking a breath in.
“So is living in a world where none of us are afforded any privacy.” You swallowed. The woman stared you down for a moment, even through the screen, before huffing and shaking her head, turning away as she sneered.
Larissa looked like she was trying not to react, and you hummed, taking her hand under the table. You could feel it shaking slightly. You were trying to assure her, but it was clear she felt threatened. You ran your thumb over her hand, leaning slightly closer to whisper.
“It’s alright. I told you, I won’t take any more from you. Not your privacy either.” You said softly, quiet enough for only her to hear. She turned to you, her eyes widening for a moment.
She was about to say something before she was cut off by a young woman slamming through the doors, immediately rounding on the screen looking at you.
“DON’T YOU EVER, I mean EVER do that again!” She screamed, and your eyes went wide, you threw up your hands in surrender.
“Well I didn’t intend to-” You began, a smile lighting up your face.
“We thought you were dead , I thought you were dead!” She screamed, her finger pointing at you angrily before her eyes went wide in shock, she wasn’t looking at you however, she was looking at the woman next to you. “Holy shit that’s Larissa fucking Weems.” She breathed, and you groaned, dropping your head into your hand.
“How- why ? Why do you all know who she is- can no one in this outfit have a goddamn shred of decency not to pry into-“ Mirella looked like she was about to shit herself.
“No no no, Ophelia, that is Larissa Weems .” She hissed, and Larissa looked entirely confused, a blush heating up her face as you did your best not to outright cackle. You were well aware why Mirella was freaking out, but it would be more entertaining to act as if you didn’t know.
“I'm sorry, have we met dear?” She asked the younger woman, and Mirella looked like she might pass out. She turned around, hiding her face and leaning onto Moxie.
“Holy shit, she’s talking to me.” She wheezed, and you furrowed your brows, through your stifling of a smile.
“Is there something I’m not aware of here Mirella?” You asked the girl, and she shook her head, trying to breathe. Moxie, for her part, was trying not to laugh. Jenkins on the other hand, did no such thing.
“Watch it flicker, we don’t want ye to loose yer bearings.” He snickered, and the girl glared at him before turning to you.
“This entire time! You knew Larissa Weems and you didn’t tell me!” She yelled, and this time you had to cover your snicker with your hand as Larissa looked highly confused.
“Oh lord,” you sighed.
“ Hello!” She yelled, and you cringed.
“First known shifter head of a public institution! Let alone a school !” She began, and Larissa looked to her in utter shock. Apparently she had never realized how much she meant to others. “Not to mention my personal hero!” Mirella yelled, before her eyes snapped back to Larissa, “H-hi ma’am, I apologize for my outbursts, it’s just the woman who raised me decided to die on me and is now back and you are sort of my inspiration in life, and it is a lot at the moment.” She glared at you, and you promptly burst out laughing.
“Oh good lord !” You cackled, and the tall girl glared at you.
“Don’t! I’m still livid with you!” She yelled, and you smirked, raising your hands in surrender once again. You just looked to Larissa, who was blushing and wide eyed. It really had never occurred to her. She never thought someone would follow her work, that it would matter to anyone other than her. You squeezed her hand under the table, and she startled out of it, looking at the girl.
“I wasn’t aware that anyone followed my work.” She breathed, and Mirella looked like she might just faint.
“Followed! She went as you for last Halloween!” Jenkins cackled, and you watched as Mirella strutted over to him. The girl was tall, very tall. Jenkins stood as six feet, meaning when the two went head to head they saw eye to eye, Mirella an inch taller than him, although it was a source of debate. He met her eyes however, as the two glared at eachother.
“I’ll fucking kill you.” Mirella glowered, and Jenkins just smirked.
“Ya gonna talk to yer wee ones like that, teach .” The man mocked, and she narrowed her eyes.
“No, not that you would even know how to speak without ‘fuck this’ and ‘damn that’ and ‘son of a-“ she tiraded, and you sighed.
“Thank you children, that’s quite enough.” You said, and they both looked at you.
“He started it!” “She started it!” They yelled in unison, and the sigh that left you could only be described as motherly.
“Alright, first of, Jenkins, you are hundreds of years too old for this.” You began, and he scoffed as Larissa watched you somewhat shocked at your ability to corral them. “Secondly, Mirella, do not stoop to his level.” You smirked, resulting in a scoff from Jenkins as Mirella rounded on you.
“As if you’re better!” She began, and you cringed.
“Look, I was never supposed to actually interact with the children much. My language with you aside, I do hope you don’t curse like that in front of students.” You hummed, and she scoffed, staring at you.
“Firstly, as if I would ever!” She began, and your smirk only grew as you recognized yourself in the girl.
“And how is university?” You asked, a proud look settling on your face.
“Top of my class thank you, I’m making Cambridge’s School of Education my bitch.” She smirked, and your grin split your face.
“That’s my girl!” You said, and she nodded.
“Highest marks in my year, well on my way to highest marks since, since you, actually, Miss Weems.” She said, slowly looking to the woman. Larissa just watched in amazement.
You had raised this girl.
This girl who thought of her as someone to look up to, someone to follow. You smiled at the blush on her cheeks, squeezing her hand under the table. She snapped out of it again, looking to you, then at Mirella again, then at you, her lips parted in shock as she tried to find the words.
“I- well, well done then, Miss Mirella.” She said softly, almost in amazement of the girl.
Mirella blushed, she blushed hard, until the pink spread up her cheeks and you watched as her hair turned a brighter red than yours. You laughed a little bit, smiling at the familiar gesture in the girl.
“Oh fuck off,” She hissed at you, turning away as Larissa’s eyes went wide in utter shock.
She just shifted, on pure instinct. She wasn’t scared to, she wasn’t ashamed of it, she just allowed her emotions to flow, and the only reaction anyone around her showed, you more than anyone, was a smile of utter adoration.
“No, I always liked when you did red, it’s sweet.” You smiled, and she shook her head, chuckling despite the fact that she was nervous actually meeting her hero and accidentally shifting in front of her.
“I wore your red for a few weeks after you left, and after I thought you…” She trailed. You could only see the back of her head, but you knew her well enough.
“Aye, she pulled a tear or two from most of us without meanin to.” Jenkins said, easing the girl, pulling her out of it.
She sighed, running a hand through her hair and returning it to her usual strawberry blonde before turning back to the room, her eyes landing on the table this time, the girl there capturing her attention.
“She’s tiny,” She swallowed, and you hummed in acknowledgment. “They pay more for the tiny ones.” She added, and you nodded again.
“I know.” You said solemnly, and she went to the girl, sitting on the edge of the table and stroking her hair.
“Do you know why were either tall or tiny?” She asked you, and you furrowed your brows. You knew very well why they were, and so did she, you had thought her yourself.
“Yes, and I’m quite sure you do too.” You replied, and she breathed a bit of a chuckle through her nose.
“Maybe I want the woman who raised me and taught me I can do anything to show off in front of the woman who proved I can dare to push it farther.” She said, and you sucked in a breath, your heart squeezing a little at her words. Larissa looked like she may cry, and tears were pricking at your eyes as well as the girl spoke.
You swallowed them down, doing your best to answer her question.
“The mutation that gives you your ability, it also controls growth, it’s related to the meiosis of the fertilized egg. Now the mutation effects the rate of growth in the womb, and later enables you to, fundamentally, grow or miraculously sort of re-fuse the cells, however in the womb it remains underactive, in this case leading to a smaller than average child, or hyperactive, leading to a taller than average child.” You explained, and Larissa looked at you utterly shocked. She should be used to this by now, but truly, your knowledge on her classification never ceased to amaze her.
“How- how?” She breathed, and you chuckled a bit, Miss snorting in the background as Mirella beamed.
“If you think that’s impressive, the Medic there is the one that discovered it.” She added, and Larissa truly gaped.
“You, this is, you’ve truly studied us that much?” She asked, and you hummed, nodding your head from side to side.
“Moss is flattering me, it was Georgiana and I together who first mapped the genome and traced it back to the origins, granted her knack for history and anthropology far eclipses mine.” You explained, smiling a bit sadly.
“Yes, but you did the biology and the majority of the health-related work.” Moss added, and you shook your head.
“And she was the shifter I pattered my work after, it was her experience, her abilities I was studying.” You countered, and the woman scoffed at you.
“The two of you, always insisting the other was the brilliant one. Turns out you both are… were.” She said, and everyone went silent for a moment. You heated up, looking away as a mixture of shame and mourning filled your eyes.
The silence was heavy, mournful. It filled the room with no concern for those it was suffocating. When it was finally broken, it was Mirella who did it.
“You, you carry it on, Ophelia.” She said, and your eyes snapped to her as Larissa stared at you, tears in her eyes. “You carry on what she started- you- you were never one of us- but you made us, at least you made me feel normal. You made it safe.” She said, and you smiled a bit, ducking your head and closing your eyes as words escaped you, a few tears leaking from your face.
Mirella turned away, it was well known that you didn’t like to cry, and most of the staff and those who had been there for long always turned on the rare occasions you did.
She went to sit by Lily on the table, Moss allowing her to take the young girl’s hand as she spoke.
“I’m going to build a school.” Mirella said softly, and you felt yourself start to tear up even more. Your hand closed around Larissa’s on instinct, pulling her hand onto your lap. “A school just for us,” She continued. “And I’m going to teach shifters, like Ophelia did after, after we lost her.” She swallowed, and you bowed your head for a moment, your throat choking up. “I’m going to look damn good, and be respected, like Larissa Weems is.” She added. “And im going to make this world a little safer.” She promised, and you could feel Larissa’s breath stop.
She looked to you slowly, seeing your eyes shine with tears despite the smile so full of pride on your lips she thought you might burst.
“You will.” You whispered, and Larissa watched as a single tear escaped, one you quickly blinked away before Mirella could see it. The girl eventually just sat there, holding the much smaller one’s hand as Moss worked.
“You do well with the little ones.” You hummed, and she smiled, shaking her head.
“Well I’m no you , but I think I do quite well.” She smiled, and you laughed a little.
“Please, I was terrible with you all, I don’t know why you kept coming down to the lab when we weren’t working.” You scoffed, and she shook her head.
“You always felt safe, like we could have fun in your lab, even if we come from them or worse.” She said, and you laughed a little, your emotion getting the better of you as tears started to form yet again.
“Yeah, well, those first few years I hardly think I was better equipped than any of you.” You sighed, and she laughed.
“I remember meeting you when I was what, seven?” She asked, and you sighed, shaking your head.
“That would be seven and a half, thank you.” You replied, and she chuckled.
“Georgiana was always tall as shit, and you were just- you could still pick me up and carry me around, but I liked that you were shorter, it made you less intimidating.” She said, and you hummed, tilting your head a bit as you smiled at the girl.
“You liked to grab my hair, you’d braid it when I was running diagnostics.” You smiled, and she laughed a little.
“You were funny, too.” She said, and you groaned in embarrassment.
“I was still high half the time.” You grimaced, and Mirella laughed, making you cringe.
“Remember the hammock phase?” She cackled, and Jenkins pinched between his brows.
“Oh fer fuck’s sake, the hammocks, Georigianna and I walked in with a kid once and you were hangin’ upside down from the goddamn ceiling blowing smoke rings!” He barked, and you only cringed further. “She thought you were the blue caterpillar or some shit!” He yelled, and you hid your face.
“Oh! Remember the time she hotboxed the lab?” Mirella laughed, and you rolled your eyes.
“You weren’t even there for that!” You protested, and she and Jenkins fully ignored you.
“Oh, ye weren’t around for her clubbing days, lass, that was some next-level ridiculousness.” He said, and you glared at him.
“Look, I was young, we all do… things .” You managed, and he just cackles more.
“Aye, that’s an interesting way of sayin’ every fuckin drug on the planet.” He laughed, and you rolled your eyes.
“Alright! Enough, enough! We get it, I was wild.” You yelled, and Larissa looked at you utterly amused.
“Oh? You never told me you had clubbing days, darling.” She teased, and you went bright red as you looked at her wide eyed.
“Alright, now don’t you get involved-“
“WAIT!” Mirella yelled, and you instantly snapped to her. “Is she wearing- that’s your favorite sweater- oh my god- and you’re- you’re just in a robe- holy shit-“ she nearly hyperventilated, turning around and nearly falling into Jenkins. “Oh my god this isn’t happening. I can’t tell if this is a dream or a nightmare.” The girl rasped, and you tried not to laugh at her dramatics, quickly grabbing the laptop as Larissa turned redder and redder by the moment.
“Alright then, so glad to see you all- I’ll be by soon enough- call me when she wakes up!“ you rushed, closing down the program before either of the shifters popped a blood vessel.
You sighed as you looked at Larissa, the blush slowly receding to a look of utter amazement on her face.
“You- all your life you’ve given to my classification and you didn’t tell me?” She whispered, and you sighed, smiling sadly as you cupped her jaw. She was good with them, and it shattered you. You had to protect them, above all, you had to protect them.
“You’ve met my… my family. Please, if you can’t allow yourself me, don’t make them fall for you too.” You whispered.
You kissed her slowly, gently, but with such a burning passion Larissa felt it tingle through her entire body.
“I need to know what you want from me before you steal their hearts too.” You whispered, standing and pulling on a sweater before leaving the room, going to get some food.
You knew you would have to call again with the new girl later, as well as debrief the operation. It would be a long day, and you needed to prepare for it.
Notes:
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Chapter 21: Laid Bare
Summary:
Larissa finds you strung out and exhausted, but as the night goes on, the both of you striped yourselves for each other, down to the soul.
WARNING: Recreational Drug Use/Smut
Notes:
Alright lovies! This is the one some of you have been waiting for, please let me know your thoughts! Comments and tips mean the world to me and help me keep writing!
With love,
- V
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
You were exhausted, thoroughly exhausted as you worked through papers you had to grade. You hadn’t slept last night after Larissa left, your sheets were stained with her. They smelled like her, it almost felt like her, you couldn’t stand it. Two nights in a row you had lain awake in bed because of that woman. Two nights of sleep lost on someone you weren’t even sure wanted you in the way you wanted her.
The writing on the pages began to blur, your head aching as you just dropped your face into your hands, letting the pen you were holding clatter to the desk.
She had been avoiding you. You knew that.
She had left your room when you told her to make up her mind, to decide what she wanted from you. You would give her anything, you were foolish like that, yet you had known her far longer than she had known you.
She had been with you for most of your life. It was her voice that used to calm you when you had no hope of making it out alive. It was her piano playing that had lulled you to sleep so many nights in that disgusting place. Yet you couldn’t expect her to understand that, to know that.
Which is what led you to the point of smoking your own blend of herbs out of your pipe at one in the morning on your third night of not sleeping. Your head was aching, but you just kept working, taking deep drags of the pipe and letting the herbs work their way into your tired skull.
The door opened and you groaned, not even bothering to look up. She was avoiding you, and there was only one other person who would enter your space without knocking, even if it was a classroom after hours.
“Wednesday, I have seemingly lost my ability to sleep, so unless the situation is life threatening, I’m not fucking getting up.” You groaned, fully dropping your head to the desk. The light flicked on and you hissed, hiding your face. “Oh fuck you, I’m not a damn sunflower, OW!” You yelled, and the lights turned off again. You sighed, just laying your head on your folded arms and scrunching your eyes closed against the remnants of light. “If I had even slightly less respect for your headmistress I would just start growing opium, instead of sticking to kiddie shit, but noooo , I think she’s witty for some fucking reason-“ you mumbled, lifting your head only to stop in your tracks as you realized that the person standing in front of you was not, your niece, and was in fact the very woman you were talking about.
You squinted your eyes for a moment.
“You’re going to have to tell me if this is real, because in all honesty, my head hurts bad enough and my eyes are tired enough that everything looks like watercolor and you’re fucking glowing, but then again you sort of always do that.” You hummed. The woman stared at you wide eyed for a moment before finding her words.
“You- you are not having a vision, no, I’m here.” She said tentatively, and you raised a brow.
“Bold, the doors are glass, so you saw me smoking. Few people would walk into a room with a sleep deprived madwoman drugging herself, but you just saunter in, don’t you?” You sighed, tilting your head slightly.
“What, exactly are you smoking?” She sighed tensely, and you smirked. You brought the pipe to your lips, taking a deep breath in before slowly blowing the smoke out into the air, towards her.
She didn’t flinch, didn’t move away. In fact, she stepped forward, shocking you.
It smelled sweet. It smelled good actually, almost tempting. She followed the scent, leading her closer to you.
“Technically not opium, valerian root, galphimia, and lavender, because I’m a poet at heart.” You sighed, only half joking.
“Are you high?” She asked you, her voice stern, and you looked at her with a heavy gaze, one that gave the impression that you were thoroughly belittled by the very question.
“The only thing known to knock me out is my own special blend of extremely high grade opium, propofol, and ketamine injected intravenously. None of the plants in this,” you continued, gesturing to the pipe, “are hallucinogenic, or illegal, that part was for you, they are simply enough to calm me down a bit. It’s like hemp or whatever the kids put in their lotion nowadays. I’m relaxed, well, as much as I can be without actual drugs, but no, I am not high.” You explained, and she just stared at you for a moment.
“Should I be concerned that you know exactly how much you need to take to knock yourself out?” She asked, and you shrugged.
“If anything, it might be comforting. I have a failsafe.” You said blankly, and she just stared at you for a moment, her mind working.
She didn’t know what to do with you, she didn’t even know why she came in here other than she couldn’t sleep either, and the light in the greenhouse was still on. You hummed, tilting your head.
“I’m more delirious from the lack of sleep than anything, I’m sorry, I’ll be sharp as a tack again by morning.” You said softly, moving to get up from your desk. She walked over, however, standing across from you for a moment, keeping you still in your seat with nothing but her gaze.
Your eyes drifted lazily over her face, looking for something.
“God you’re beautiful.” You breathed, and she took a deep breath in, her cheeks flushing slightly as she closed her eyes for a moment. “No, keep them open, I like looking at them. Like hydrangeas grown in the perfect soil.” You muttered, making the woman’s eyes snap to you.
“Are you alright?” She asked gently, and you smiled lazily.
“As I ever am.” You replied, a slight twist of your lips making the woman look to you in concern.
“You, you scare me.” She breathed, and your smile dropped. She regretted her words the second she saw the flash of hurt in your eyes. You pulled back, instantly sobering as you set the pipe down, looking down as you opened a desk drawer. You pulled out a pair of gloves, beginning to put them on before she reached across the desk, her bare hand grabbing yours and pulling the gloves away as she leaned over it.
“Not like that.” She said instantly, her eyes almost panicked. Your own eyes went wide, staring at where she was clutching onto your hand.
“Perhaps you should be scared of that, Larissa.” You breathed. She shuddered when she heard her name on your lips again. Two days had felt like torture, it had been too long, far too long.
“I- I want to sleep with you.” She swallowed, and your brows shot up. Sarcasm and charm were always your best defense, and you wielded the both of them perfectly.
“Darling, I’m already burning the candle down here, you know what I feel about you, you should have come earlier-“ you breathed, shaking your head slightly.
“Not like that.” She corrected, and you stared at her in pure confusion. “I want- I want to lay in your bed, or you can come to mine, it doesn’t matter, and I want to sleep next to you.” She rushed. Your eyes widened as a blush stained your cheeks. “I want to be with you until you fall asleep, I want, I want you to let yourself rest.” She said, and you stared at her in utter shock for a moment. You took a deep breath in, looking away and laughing shakily as tears came to your eyes.
“I- of all things, you- good lord Larissa.” You whimpered, hiding your face in your hand again. She sat on the edge of the desk, her hand tentatively sliding over yours.
You trembled slightly at the touch, but didn’t move to stop her. She was still for a moment, evaluating. She looked down at you, your exhausted figure bent over the desk, the blush still visible at the edges of your cheeks and your ears, despite your covered face.
“I want to feel you,” she whispered, and you tensed for a moment, unable to even think as the words hung in the air. She could feel your almost panic, doubt invaded her own mind, twisting it this way and that as she attempted to figure out how to get out of this. She shouldn’t have said that, it was too far. Her mind raced the longer you sat still, worry flooding her before you let loose a deep, exhausted sigh.
Without a word you picked up your head, dropped her hand and braced your arms on the desk, standing slowly. You stood still for a moment, just staring at the ground.
“You know if I am unconscious there is a chance I can transfer visions to you. It’s happened before.” You breathed, and she nodded. You grimaced. “Are you able to see people you know die?” You asked, your eyes shutting for a moment as you attempted to calm yourself. You could barely handle what you were about to suggest next, for her… you couldn’t imagine. “To see yourself, die.” You breathed, and she swallowed, hesitating for a moment.
“If you want me to decide what I want from you, then you have to show me what that means.” She said slowly. Your face contorted into a grimace for a moment before you looked up at her, your gaze exhausted through heavy lashes as your body bent forward. You had to trust her. If you demanded she decide, then you had to allow her the choice.
“Alright.” You breathed. “Alright, but if it happens, if it happens I can’t promise I’ll be able to stop it.” You rasped, and she swallowed.
“I know.” She said gently, and you nodded slowly, thinking for a moment. It was hard. All of this was hard. You could pretend it wasn’t, that you didn’t second guess every second, but all of it was exhausting, and at that point you hadn’t slept in days.
You picked up your pipe and turned off the lamp, standing fully and taking your bag as you walked around the desk to her. You took a deep drag of the pipe, holding it for a moment and blowing it away from her. She raised a brow as she looked down at you.
“I’ll put it out before we enter the actual school, if it pleases you, and I can purify the air in here in a matter of seconds.” You sighed, and she but her lip, leaning down slightly.
“It doesn’t smell terrible.” She hummed, and you smiled a bit at that.
“Thank you.” You chuckled, and she blushed, looking towards the door. She still didn’t move from her seat on your desk, however.
“Could I?” She asked, nodding towards the pipe. You furrowed your brows.
“It’s not opium, but it will still make you hazy, it’s, it's similar to a blend my sister used to request, only without the aphrodisiac.” You answered uncertainly. She blinked for a moment.
“Oh,” she breathed, and you nodded slowly, freezing when you realized.
“I’m sorry, I didn’t realize, I’ll put it out.” You rushed, pulling away in a matter of moments. You stilled when you felt her arm lock around yours, pulling you closer again. You looked at her nervously, uncertain of what she wanted.
“It’s different,” she said softly.
“Yes, it’s different, there’s no aphrodisiac and it will make you hazy, maybe a bit dizzy, but mostly you would just make you slee-“ you were cut off when her hand slipped around your jaw, pulling your chin up as she leaned down, her lips inches from yours. “ Larissa ,” you whispered, leaning into the touch slightly.
“I meant you’re different.” She breathed, and your eyes slipped closer as her fingers traced your jaw, ever so lightly.
“I want a taste.” She breathed, and you shuddered. You looked up at her, up into her hydrangea blue eyes, up into her stardust hair.
“Larissa, I-“ you whispered, and she just wrapped her hand around yours, making your breath hitch. She lifted the pipe between you two, and you stepped in closer, nearly pressing your body against hers. She swallowed, her hand slowly wrapping around your waist. You shuddered, but didn’t move away.
“You don’t want my drugs, Larissa.” You whispered, and she shook her head almost tantalizingly slowly.
“I don’t, but I do want you to come to bed with me.” She breathed. You turned your head, leaning into her shoulder.
“Please, please I can’t,” you nearly begged, and she gasped, pulling you into her. You stumbled, just leaning against her for a moment, the pipe hanging loosely in your hand.
“I’ve got you.” She whispered, and you closed your eyes, nearly crying as you leaned into her.
“I’m so tired,” you whimpered, and she rubbed your back slowly, just holding you there.
“I know, I know.” She said softly.
You gasped as she picked you up, your arms wrapping around her shoulders on pure instinct. You were too exhausted to protest, you just let her do whatever she wished. You collapsed into her, allowing her to carry you to her room without a thought. She laid you on the bed, and you groaned, leaning back against the pillows.
“You haven’t slept in three days?” She whispered, her voice laced with concern.
“I’ve gone longer.” You breathed, and she shook her head, shape shifting into her nightclothes, her hair down as she climbed into the bed with you. You sucked in a breath at the sight of her in her night slip, your brows raising.
“Were you wearing that the whole time?” You whispered, and she just shook her head.
“It’s one in the morning dear, yes.” She sighed.
“You should be asleep.” You murmured, and she leveled you with a look. You took a drag of your pipe, holding it for a moment before looking up at the ceiling as you let it go.
You sank into the mattress slightly, allowing yourself to give in as the sense of ease flooded your system, the sleepiness and floating feeling calling your body into a state of relaxation. If only it could do the same for your mind…
You jumped when you felt a hand around your ankle, looking down to find Larissa taking your shoes off. You tensed slightly.
“You don’t have to do that.” You rasped. “You don’t have to take care of me.” You added, and she paused for a moment, stilling, but refusing to look up to your eyes.
“I know.” She breathed. “But I want to.” She swallowed, and you stilled for a moment, staring at her. It was too much, that was too much. You would care for yourself, it was your duty to care for everyone, it wasn’t in your nature to allow yourself to be cared for.
You pulled away, standing off the bed, making the woman follow you for a moment before she faltered. You wouldn’t look at her, you wouldn’t even turn to face her. You just stood, your body tense as you held the pipe in your hands.
“Twenty minutes.” You breathed, and you left without saying another word, a sense of shock and worry settling in the woman’s chest. She sat there, in silence.
You had left.
You had left and the panic began to seize her mind.
She must have pushed you too far again, but she had touched you over your clothing before, many times, and under it. She had memorized each inch of the skin of your arms, taking in every small detail, every scar and mark. She had come undone on your fingertips, on your tongue. Yet this was too much? Sleeping in the same bed as you was too much? It wasn’t fair.
It wasn’t fair and it hurt.
You asked her to make a decision, to figure out what she wanted, and she wanted to try. She could admit that. She could admit that she wanted you. But this, the nerve you had! The second she finally asked for you, truly, asked for you. Asked for you just to lay beside her, asked to be allowed to take care of you, you had pulled away. She felt numb. She sat in her bed, crawling underneath the covers and clutching them around herself, cold and silent. Alone.
She was alone, again. Again she would end up alone, just like all the other times, but knowing she had actually tried, actually wanted more, made it infinitely worse.
She went numb to the world as she spiraled in her mind, self loathing filling her up as the minutes passed. She didn’t even hear the door open again. She didn’t realize you were walking towards her until you sat on the edge of the bed, making it dip with your weight.
She snapped up, her breath catching as she saw you. You were in a night slip again. One with thin straps that bared your chest, your shoulders, your arms, and your back. Your back was towards her, and you were trembling. Trembling as you took a deep breath.
“I thought you had gone.” She husked, and your eyes snapped to hers at the sound of her voice. She sounded, pained.
All doubt crumbled the second you looked at her. There was such pain in her eyes that you very quickly realized you could never have hoped to stop yourself from trying to ease it.
“I said twenty minutes.” You tried to assure her, climbing onto the bed fully and kneeling next to her as she sat up.
“I didn’t expect you to actually come back.” She admitted, and you swallowed. Her eyes followed the movement. You could practically feel them grazing over your skin, tracing down your neck, over your shoulders and down your arms. You had been stared at many times before, but never had it felt good like it did when she looked at you.
“You’re staring.” You whispered, and she hummed.
“You’re in my bed.” She countered, and you stilled for a moment, closing your eyes and almost seeming to steel yourself.
“Lay down.” You said softly, and she just looked at you.
“Ophelia, you don’t have to-“ she began, even her own eyes betraying how desperately she wanted you to stay.
“Lay. Down.” You repeated deliberately, and she did as you asked, sliding under the covers and laying down on her back, staring up at you. You crawled into bed next to her, making her breath hitch as you settled next to her slowly, tentatively.
Her heart beat faster as you inched closer, until the front of your body was flush against her side. You tucked your head into her shoulder, your arms slowly wrapping around the woman. Her breath caught in her throat as you held her, ever so gently, still never venturing farther than what was covered by fabric, your head resting on her chest as you listened to her heartbeat.
“Like this?” You asked so quietly she almost thought she imagined it. She didn’t respond, just slowly wrapped her arm around your back, holding you gently.
Her arm moved slowly around you, holding youlovely at first, giving you plenty of time to pull away if you wished. What you did, however, was pull yourself In tighter, burying your head in the crook of her neck, making the woman’s breath hitch.
That was different. That was your skin against hers, the softness of your cheek resting on her, the gentleness of you on full display for her.
“Are you alright?” She asked you, choking something back. You nodded, your nose inadvertently grazing her neck, making her shudder. Your eyes snapped open at that. You were exhausted, but any reaction from the woman was enough to have you nearly begging to be permitted to pull another one from her.
“Are you?” You replied softly, and you could feel her twitch when your breath ghosted over her neck, she was flushing slightly, and the pink of her skin was so, so tempting. You felt your skin seem to tingle where you touched her, only this wasn’t the pull of a vision, this was just her. You couldn’t see her full face, only a bit in profile from your angle, but you glanced up for a moment, unsure. She took a shaky breath.
“Yes, yes of course.” She replied, and you hummed. You were tired, but you were also drugged. It would dampen your ability slightly, maybe you could…
You pressed your lips against her neck slowly, tentatively, only to feel her jerk and gasp at the action. You began to pull away, only to feel her arm around your back tighten, holding you to her.
“I- I missed you.” She admitted softly, and you hummed, placing another soft kiss on her neck. This time you were rewarded with a sigh, the sound rushing to your head and making you hum with how pleased you were.
“You could have come.” You replied, placing another kiss on her. She tilted her head up, giving you more access as her body seemed to press into yours with each breath.
“No, I- Ophelia ,” she sighed when you kissed a spot a little higher, your lips pressing against her pulse point with torturous gentleness.
“Must you make it so hard for me?” You whispered against her, pausing for a moment and panting. You could feel your own skin flushed, your mind spinning as your senses were flooded with her.
Everything was her. Liquid heat had settled between your legs, making your thighs tense as you tried to steady yourself.
“You don’t have to stop,” she breathed, and you swallowed, panting against her.
“Larissa, you’ve seen what I can do if-“ you whimpered, and her hand slowly, gently reached across her body, settling on your hip. Your breath hitched as you gritted your teeth. “Please, please don’t tease me, I- you don’t know what you’re asking.” You whimpered, and her hand rubbed your hip tenderly, with such gentleness you shuddered in her grasp.
“I do.” She replied, her hand stilling for a moment. “I- I know what you can do. I am asking you to trust yourself, Ophelia.” She whispered, and you stilled for a moment, your entire body ached for her, craved her, it felt like you needed her. She wasn’t just anyone, this was the woman who you had always found comfort in, found safety in. This was Larissa.
“Slow.” You whispered, and she took a deep breath in, her hand slowly tracing down the outside of your thigh.
You gasped when her fingers found the hem of your night slip, just ghosting over your skin. She swallowed, her throat bobbing as you shuddered.
“Every time I touch your skin you react like no one has done so before.” She whispered, and you bit back a reaction, instead choosing to kiss her neck again, making the woman heat up impossibly more.
“Not many have, and none of them were you.” You murmured against her, and her hand gripped onto you a little, making you jump.
“I’m sorry-“ she rushed, but you hummed, sliding your free hand up to her face and cupping her cheek. Her eyes fluttered closed when you did so, her own breath hitching in the dark, quiet room.
“Slow,” you said again, and she nodded, taking a few breaths to steady herself. Her hand slipped down, coming around the back of your thigh and drawing your leg over her hips, making you nearly whimper as your body was pulled flush against her.
“ Larissa ,” you breathed, your hand on her cheek turning her to face you. She stared into your eyes with such intensity you thought you may burst into flames. Her eyes were dark, but even in the dark of the room, you could see the want, the need in them. “Kiss me,” you panted, and she was on you in a moment.
You moaned into her, her lips claiming yours with such passion you thought you wouldn’t be able to take it. She pulled your leg tighter, and you gasped as your core pressed against her hip, making you groan at the feeling.
“Oh- ohhhh ,” you sighed, and she pulled you again, encouraging you to roll your hips against her as she kissed you. You whimpered, you were still clothed, your underwear and her dress providing a barrier for you, one that calmed your nerves as it felt like your body burst into flames.
The friction was delicious. It sent shockwaves through your entire body, making you gasp against her. It was pathetic, you felt pathetic as you rolled your hips against her, whimpering at just an inkling of pleasure.
She held you close, her breath hitching as she pulled away to watch your face, your brows knitting together as your lips fell open. You looked- you looked like you could barely function and she wasn’t even touching you, not truly.
“Ophelia, darling, when was the last time you-“ she whispered, suddenly very, very aware that while you had touched her, and she knew you had touched others, being touched, that was a much rarer event.
You moaned as her hand gripped your ass, leading you to grind against her harder, your hands fisting into her nightgown and the sheets as you did.
She was warm. She was warm and safe against you as you suddenly needed release so desperately you were willing to beg for it. You knew what she was asking, and there had been others, but not in a long time.
“Don’t- don’t ask, please, it- just- fuck,” you whimpered, hiding your face in her neck and crying out when her hand squeezed you against her hip so firmly you couldn’t even think. You grinded yourself onto her, through the clothes. It was safer this way, you knew that. You may not get much more than this, but it felt so good you couldn’t bring yourself to care. You just gasped against her skin as your clit dragged deliciously against the fabric. The fabric that was against her.
“Ophelia,” she whispered, her voice sounding strained. Your little whimpers and cries filled the dark of her room, the apex of your thighs pressed against her as you slowly chased your release.
“ Fuck you feel so good,” you whispered, pulling her down to kiss her again. She groaned as you did so, your shaky breath fluttering over her lips before you pressed your own against her.
You moaned into her, parting your lips as her tongue traced over yours, your body shuddering from the friction. You gripped onto her tighter, your hips bucking as you desperately chased release. She gasped as your hand fisted into her slip, pulling her impossibly closer to you. She squeezed her hand on your hip, encouraging you more, making you moan into her.
“Go ahead,” she breathed, and you dropped your head to her neck again, whimpering and panting against her.
It had been so long, so, so long since someone had touched you, and no one had ever made you feel like this. No one had ever made you feel as if you might die if they stopped. You bucked your hips against her desperately, you just needed a little more, you were so close. Just from this, just from grinding against her, you felt better than anyone had made you feel in your life.
“Take what you need, Ophelia, let go.” She whispered into your hair, and you nearly sobbed in pleasure. You didn’t know how to function like this, not with her.
Suddenly everything became about reaching your peak, you needed to, your entire body ached for her, blissful torture like you had never imagined.
You rolled onto her, making her gasp when you spread her legs with your knee, sitting up so you could fully ride her thigh. Larissa watched mesmerized as your head tilted back, your face contorting in pleasure as you used your full weight to ride her, the pressure bringing you closer and closer to the edge. You tilted your head forward, locking eyes with her and biting your lip.
You needed her.
You reached down, pulling her to sit up as you slid yourself over her thigh, leaning in and wrapping your arms around her shoulders. You looked into her eyes, searching for something, yet you found it in yourself. Safety. You felt safe. You swallowed down the lump in your throat as you leaned forward, making the woman gasp as your lips grazed against her own before going to her ear.
“Do you want to touch me?” You breathed shakily, the nervousness in your voice betraying you. You felt safe with her, but that didn’t change the nervousness that came. She moaned, her hands fisting into the sheets as she watched you.
“Yes, god yes , please Ophelia,” she whimpered, and you gasped as her voice had you dangerously close to the edge. “Please, it’s torture, seeing you like this, let me touch you, let me make you feel good,” she whispered, her own head dropping to kiss at your neck, making you moan.
You wouldn’t last, you couldn’t, not with her. You rutted against her harder, the friction driving you insane. You could feel the coil in your hips grow tighter, preparing to snap. You moaned as you arched into her, your chest pressing against her and making her groan.
“Take my dress off,” you breathed, too lost in your pleasure to even fully form the words. Larissa didn’t waste any time, she slipped her hands under the hem, pulling it off and over your head in a matter of seconds, her hands immediately exploring the skin offered up to her.
You groaned as her perfect hands traced over your hips, up your sides, before landing on your chest, her ministrations making you loose your breath.
“I- Im so close darling, please,” you whimpered, and she hushed you, leaning forward and wrapping her hands around your body, her fingers and palms just grazing your skin. You moaned obscenely, any bit of her skin on yours drove you mad, but this, how were you supposed to live without this? “Hah- holy fuck, mhm,” you whimpered, and she breathed out in amazement.
So sensitive, you were always so sensitive. So unused to touch, to loving touch. It broke her heart and made her want to do nothing but keep you in her bed until you knew nothing but her hands at the same time. She traced one hand to your chest, taking your breast and kneading it in her palm, making you cry out into her. You were so close, your thighs spasmed as you got closer and closer to the edge.
Everything was her. Everything was Larissa, Larissa, Larissa. You didn’t realize you were even saying her name until you heard her own groan in response. Her fingertips ghosted over your nipple, making your hips nearly lock up against her. She leaned in, until her lips were just a breath from yours.
“Let go,” she whispered, “come for me.” Her words washed over you with such intensity it was as if your body responded of it’s own accord. You cried out as you felt yourself spasm, your thighs squeezing down on hers as your hips lost their pattern. You held onto her for dear life, pulling her against you and kissing her as if your life depended on it. Your hands wrapped into her hair and around her shoulders, your lips pressing against her again and again hungrily.
“Larissa- I- oh god , please darling, I need- I need-“ you couldn’t form the words, but her hands slipped around you, her arms holding you close as her thigh pressed up into you.
You nearly screamed, the pressure drove you over the edge, your body reacting of its own accord. You arched your back, your hand fisting in her hair as you cried out desperately. You panted as you nearly collapsed against her, her lips peppering your neck and chest in kisses as you practically went limp in her arms.
“That’s it Ophelia, there you go, there you go,” she whispered against your skin, and your eyes slid closed for a moment. Your head was bent back, similar to how it often did when you had a vision, only this, this felt like pure bliss. You laughed a bit as tears came to your eyes, a smile splitting your face.
Larissa just looked at you, the pure joy on you striking her to her very core. You looked beautiful, your cheeks flushed, your hair a mess, your lips swollen from kissing and pulled into the wild grin she loved.
“You’re crying,” she whispered. You smiled wider, dropping your head so you could look her in the eye.
“I’m very happy,” you smiled, running your hands over her face so delicately it made her breath stop. Your always warm hands, bare of gloves for her, just for her. She sighed in relief as she leaned into your hands, gazing up at you with her eyes more open then you had ever seen them. “Thank you,” you whispered, leaning down and kissing her gently. She smiled into you and you chuckled, nipping at her lips a bit and kissing her again. The action surprised her, making her breath hitch as your teeth met her lips. “Thank you,” you whispered again, kissing over her jaw.
“Darling, you don’t have to- oh “ she sputtered, but her words left as you kissed a spot on her neck again that had her groaning against you.
“How many times must I tell you how much I want you?” You breathed against her. The woman shuddered underneath you and you placed soft kisses all along her neck. “I’ll just have to keep trying, hmm?” You hummed, and she wound her hands around your hips, making you press into her as you threaded your hands through her hair. “I ache for you, Larissa,” you breathed against her, and she gasped as you began to kiss your way down her neck, your lips brushing over her throat delicately, the way you would caress the blossom of a flower.
“Ophelia, I-“ she panted, and you smiled.
“I crave you, you live in my mind like it was yours to begin with,” you breathed, and she could have sworn her heart stopped. Poetry, everything that came from your lips was poetry. Poetry pressed into her skin with your lips, smoothing over years and years of pain. “I want to take care of you,” you said softly against her collarbone.
Your words were too real, too honest, it was almost too much. There was a gravity to your voice that felt like so much more than lust, and it terrified her. Yet the words resounded through her body so intensely she felt like she couldn’t live without them. Like her very breath was hanging on your words. Her heart beat for the comfort you provided it with.
“Would you like that?” You hummed against her skin as your lips dipped lower, to the neckline of the slip she wore.
“Yes, yes , take it off,” she rushed, and you chuckled against her, giving her entire chest a smattering of sweet kisses before pulling off her night slip, leaving her in only her underwear. Leaving her, and you, in only your underwear.
Her hands snapped out, pulling your forward and making you fall into her, practically landing on her with a small startle as you barely caught yourself.
“Larissa, what are you…“ you whispered in her ear, but she just pulled you down, until your entire chest was pressed against hers, your bodies as close as two could possibly be. She just panted beneath you, her hands running over your skin as she seemed to sigh in releif.
“I like- I like when I can feel you.” She whispered. “I like how warm your hands are, I like the way you make me feel when your skin is against mine.” She breathed, and you shuddered into the woman. “You make me feel, I- wanted. You make me feel wanted.” She admitted, her voice almost unable to form the word, as if it was that foreign to her.
You pulled back for a moment, so you could look into her eyes.
She swallowed up at you, staring with uncertainty at your own. She was practically shaking, unable to even think under the intensity of your gaze. Your heart was pounding, the entire world became her as you realized just how much you wanted her in that moment.
“I could write for the rest of my life and still never be able to tell you how much I want you.” You whispered, and there was a moment between you two, a moment where you knew you had said too much, been too honest, where she felt too exposed, where she knew that perhaps, in another life, in a vision maybe, you had.
It was haunting.
“I’m sorry, I-“ you stuttered, but she just swallowed, shaking her head.
“Show me,” she whispered, and your eyes went wide. “Please, you’re the only one who does it, show me, show me how much you want me.” She breathed, and your eyes went darker than she had ever seen them.
Something in you shifted, almost. You were always caring, more than caring, you were tender with her, but this, this was reverent, this was worshiping, this was a want so deep it made her feel as if she was the only thing in the world, and you hadn’t even spoken a word. Your hand slowly began to drag up the bit of her thigh you could reach while straddling her, making her shiver. You bent your head, kissing at her neck again slowly, painfully slowly.
“So beautiful,” you whispered against her, and she shuddered as you began to drag your lips down the soft skin of her neck. “So strong,” you breathed, kissing over her collar bone as your hands began to massage her hips ever so gently. Her breath hitched as her hips arched up into you a bit, her core sliding along your thigh in the process. She moaned, her eyes slipping closed and her hips arching up again, only to feel your hands still her in their place.
She looked up at you almost desperately, her eyes going wide in a panicked need as she realized you were stopping her from getting what she wanted, what she felt like she needed.
“How many times?” You asked her, your eyes dark. She panted up at you, her face flushed and her chest heaving in shock.
“Wh- what?” She asked you, and you hummed, leaning back down to her neck and pressing a kiss there before you started to slowly work your way down her body.
“How many times do I get to prove how much I need you tonight, love?” You whispered, and her head dropped back to the pillow as you dragged your teeth down her chest, slowly working your way to her breasts.
“I- oh lord,” she breathed as she realized what you were asking.
“If your answer is only once, I certainly don’t want to waste any bit of you on my thigh.” You murmured.
“I- I don’t know, no one’s ever, even Tich wouldn’t-“ she cut herself off with a grunt when you bit down on the top of her breast, making her arch into you again.
“Don’t talk about my sister while my lips are on you,” you warned, and she nodded, biting her lip as her heart pounded in her chest.
She had made a mistake, again. Again she had failed, again she ruined it, her mind started to spiral in panic as she worried whether or not you would stop. Whether you would pull away, whether you would leave now that she had said something wrong, if she had tainted it, if you couldn’t even bear to look at her. She squeezed her eyes shut tight, fighting back the inevitable reaction to your inevitable rejection.
“She doesn’t deserve to touch you like this.” You whispered against her skin, your hand caressing her thigh softly. She froze.
“What?” She breathed. You hummed against her, kissing the spot you had bitten as you hushed her, your hands running over her hips again.
You had already said too much, you wouldn’t say more. Instead you kissed down further, licking and nipping around her nipple until she was squirming for you. You were teasing her, and she knew it.
“Ophelia, I- please,” she whimpered, and you relented, locking your lips around her nipple and making her body jolt. You pulled back slowly, scrapping your teeth over her and making her hands fist the sheets. “Mhm,” she breathed, and you smiled against her skin, repeating the action on the other side before you began to kiss your way down, nipping at the bottom of her breast first and making her jump.
She hissed when you did, her hips snapping up of their own accord.
“Hah- darling I need, I need you to-“ she was cut off with a moan as you teased her inner thighs, making her legs spread of their own accord.
You hummed against her, kissing over her pale skin as you worked your way closer and closer to the wetness between her thighs, as she started to shake.
“Ophelia,” she breathed, only this time her voice was tighter, and you hummed as you kissed the smooth skin of her inner thighs, making her jerk and shake further, and the noise to come out of her throat sounded vaguely strangled, you looked up to find the woman’s hands white knuckled in the sheets in an attempt to ground herself as tears started to run her eyes, uncertainty and panic plain on her face. She looked terrified.
You were off of her in a second, less than a second, immediately pulling back and looking her in the eyes to try and figure out what she needed. She whimpered at the loss, and you pulled a spare blanket from the end of her bed, covering her body as you adamantly looked nowhere else but her eyes.
“Alright, it’s ok, you’re alright, what happened?” You whispered softly, and she just shook her head, tears beginning to stream down her face.
“No, no don’t stop, I can do this, I’m sorry I-“ she panicked, but you hushed her, sitting next to her close enough to be there, but not touching.
“Hush, darling, it’s alright.” You whispered again, “take a deep breath with me, in and out.” You whispered, and she recognized the tone as one you used when calming others. She had seen you use it before, and it made her feel even more guilty that you had to use it on her.
“I- Im sorry,” she cried, and you just shook your head.
“Larissa, you’re perfectly alright, you have nothing to apologize for, you hear me? Nothing.” You said firmly, and she just swallowed, nodding her head shakily as the tears began to slow down a bit. “Tell me what you need.” You said gently, and she didn’t say a word, she just reached for you, pulling you close against her until you had laid down next to her, allowing her to wrap her arms around you and pull you into her chest.
“Just stay close, stay with me,” she almost begged, and your heart broke for the woman.
“Of course, I’ve got you.” You promised, and she nodded, beginning to calm down slowly. You traced gentle patterns on her skin, combed your fingers through her hair, you just held her close as her breathing slowed.
The silence was comfortable, undoubtedly charged, but the two of you laid calmly as you held her, doing your absolute best to ease the woman you knew to carry so much stress.
“Would you like to tell me what happened?” You asked after a bit, and she took a shaky breath in.
“I- I want you to touch me, I- I need it, but then you do and I just want more,” she breathed, and you brushed her hair back, your brows furrowing slightly in question as she shut her eyes for a moment. “I want- when you touch me that’s all I want,” she tried, and your heart nearly stopped in your chest. “I don’t want to think, I don’t want to do anything, I just want you .” She whimpered, looking at you again, and you felt yourself flush. “I feel so, so out of control it terrifies me.” She rasped, and it all fell into place.
Of course.
You took a deep breath, nodding as you began to understand.
“Larissa, you can stop me at any time, you know that,” you encouraged, and she nodded, taking your hand from her hair and holding it between the two of you. “
I like it.” She whispered, admitting it as if it was a terrible secret.
“You like what?” You asked gently, your eyes soft and your hand warm as ever.
“I like it, or the idea of it, I- I want you to take it all away, I don’t want to think about anything else, I- I like letting go with you.” She said softly, yet she might as well have punched you in the chest. It was the most vulnerable you had ever seen the woman, and you didn’t know how to respond. You gaped at her, transfixed and mesmerized by her beauty and the words she said. “I like it so much it scares me.” She added, leaning in a little closer. You swallowed, your eyes glancing from hers to her lips, and back up to find her doing the same.
“You have nothing to be afraid of, not in that way, not with me,” you breathed, the distance between you closing as you leaned in to match, your heart pounding in your chest. Surely she didn’t want… that. Surely she was just nervous, she didn’t know what to do, something, anything made more sense than that. Then again, that made perfect sense.
“I want to loose control,” she whimpered, her lips nearly brushing against yours. “I want you to make me unable to think, you already do,” she added, her words barely a whisper.
“Larissa, are you sure that’s what you-“ you began, only to be cut off by the most desperate whimper you had ever heard from the woman.
“ Please ,” she nearly whined, and it was all over. She could get you to do anything she wanted with her voice like that, and the second she saw the shift in your eyes, she shuddered.
“We’ll start slow, you can stop me at any time, alright?” You said gently, and she nodded, mesmerized by your lips as you spoke. You chuckled, leaning in until her lips were almost against yours, halting just as they brushed together.
She tried to mover closer, only to feel your palm flat on her chest, keeping her from finally kissing you like she wanted. She whimpered, and you hummed, smiling lightly as her eyes fluttered at the show of control on your part, even if it was mostly you controlling your own want to kiss the woman.
“Lay on your back, sweetheart.” You urged gently, and she did as you asked, laying back and staring up at you as you propped yourself up on one elbow at her side, the other stroking her jaw and down her throat gently, sending shivers up her spine. “That’s a good girl,” you hummed lowly, and her eyes shut momentarily as she moaned, her chest pressing up into your hand at the praise. “Keep your eyes on me, love,” you added, and they immediately snapped open, staring into yours in utter need.
“Yes,” she breathed, and you smiled down at her, making her blush. You were so gentle, even when commanding like this, somehow you seemed to know exactly what she needed.
You traced your hand down her body, making her shudder as your warm fingertips ran over certain areas more sensitive than others.
“Ophelia, please, I need…” she whimpered as your hand ghosted over her hip bone.
“You need what, love?” You asked her, and she just whimpered desperately, her face coloring deeper as she spread her legs for you, even under the blankets you had drawn up around you both. She wouldn’t say it, still far too proper for that, and you wouldn’t push her, not tonight.
Instead you just nodded, tracing your hand lower until it skirted over her folds, making her mouth open in a silent gasp as you teased her lightly, never really pressing in.
“Here, darling?” You asked, and she nodded as she tried not to whimper, spreading her legs further and pressing into your hand in need.
She was writhing under you, desperately trying to get your hand exactly where she needed it instead of just ghosting over her. Her eyes were wide and needy, and you could see the second she gave in to it.
“Touch me, please touch me,” she begged, and your own eyes would have bugged out of your skull at the powerful woman begging had you not known to keep your expression in check.
“Good girl,” you praised, finally pressing into her. She moaned, her eyes rolling back for a moment as you finally pressed on her clit, finally giving her what she needed.
“Yes, yes right there,” she whimpered, and you leaned down slightly, nipping just below her ear and making her gasp as you began to rub circles over the sensitive little bundle of nerves.
“Is this what you need darling?” You hummed, and she nodded wordlessly, her body writhing against you as you began to press in earnest, circling your fingers slow and with enough pressure to make her see stars.
“Yes, yes thank you, thank you, thank you,” she whimpered, and you kissed her neck as a reward for her good behavior.
“So sweet for me, darling.” You whispered against her skin, and she nodded, twitching and bucking slightly as you sped up a bit.
“Oh- Ophelia!” She squeaked, and you chuckled, beyond delighted at this side of the woman. She wanted to let go, you would make sure she wasn’t even able to think about anything else. Her hands came to clutch onto you, making your breath hitch as she grabbed at your shoulder and waist, pulling you closer as she writhed against you.
“M-more, please more,” she breathed, and you nearly moaned at how she was like this. You hummed, leaning down and kissing her neck as you slowly slipped two fingers inside her, making her groan as you eased your way into her. She pressed her head back into the pillow, arching her body up into you as her voice hummed through her throat, making you feel the vibrations where you kissed it.
“Oh, I know, darling, I know,” you whispered against her skin, making her nearly sob in pleasure. “It’s been hard, I know,” you whispered against her, praying your heart didn’t lead you where your mind couldn’t recover from.
You began to pump your fingers inside of her, and the sounds she gave you as a reward could have sent you over the moon. Her voice became a string of whimpers and mewls, far from what one would expect from the woman, as you worked. She nodded her head helplessly, her arms winding tighter around you until she pulled you so half your body was leaning up against her, your weight resting comfortably on her right side as you whispered praise and encouragement into her skin.
“Please, Ophelia, I need more,” she begged, and you groaned against her at the way her voice broke. “I need more, I’m not delicate, I need you to fill me, please, please I- oh fuck me !” She hissed as a third and fourth finger slid inside her, making her hands grip onto you with almost bruising force.
You gave her a moment, not moving as she relished in the feeling of actually feeling full. It felt good, beyond good to have your warm fingers inside her, she imagined staining herself with your blackened skin, being covered in you, never to be washed away.
“Alright?” You asked gently, and she just bit her lip, her eyes scrunched shut and her brow furrowed as she nodded, loving the feeling of you inside her, you filling her up.
“Mhm, mhm,” she whimpered, nodding fervently as if you would pull away if she didn’t. You leaned down, brushing your lips over hers, and her eyes snapped open, her hand shifting to tangle in your hair as she pulled you against her, desperately needing the closeness it brought as she kissed you needily.
You drew your fingers back, thrusting inside her again and making her see stars, her lips parting in a gasp against your own as she held onto you. You did it again, achingly slowly, and she rolled her hips to meet you, your fingers pressing into her so fully and perfectly it was like you were made for her.
“Right there,” she gasped when you brushed up against a particular spot, her hand tightening in your hair, and you hummed, kissing her again, desperately, ravenously, as you hit it again and again, making her body jerk. “Don’t stop, please, don’t stop, don’t ever stop,” she begged and you moaned against her lips, making her quiver as she realized just how much it was affecting you to see her like this.
She looked up, into your eyes, and her breath caught at the intensity there. You looked at her as if she was your entire world, as if there was nothing else, and it broke her heart open.
“Never,” You whispered against her lips, and she could have cried right then. There was something so intense, something so honest and open in the way you spoke. She would lay underneath you forever if it meant you would keep looking at her like that. She moaned as you thrust your fingers into her again, and the look on her face was filthy, divinely filthy as you did it again, and again, and again. Her hair fell loose as her back arched, pressing her into you as hard as she could.
“Ophelia, I- I’m going to- oh god ,” she moaned, and you brought your thumb to her clit, pressing against it firmly and making her cry out in utter pleasure. She cried your name over and over as it washed over her body, her hips twitching and bucking into your hand against her will, yet you matched her every movement.
You worked your fingers in her gently as she rode it out, her eyes rolling back as her movements became lazy, uncoordinated, before finally stopping all together.
“Bloody hell,” she whispered, and you chuckled against her lips.
“Oh, now you curse like a proper Brit,” you hummed against her, and she scoffed, attempting to admonish you with a look only for it to fall flat as she was still far too blissed out for it to land.
“What would you know, American?” She teased, and you raised your brows, curling your fingers inside her and making her jaw drop open as she panted, quickly becoming very aware that you were, indeed, still inside her.
“Ex-Pat, at best, poppet,” you hummed, leaning in to the non-American traits of your accent while you continued to move your fingers lazily inside her, making the woman quickly forget her point.
“Ah- b-but you were- oh god , you were born here- fuck- w-were you not?” She whimpered, her words falling apart as you continued, her lips dropping open into a silent moan as you brought your thumb to her clit again, circling it slowly.
“I was, darling, but my citizenship is British.” You answered plainly, despite the mirth in your eyes and voice. She just shook her head, attempting to glare at you before the look fell apart with a moan.
“Would you like me to stop?” You hummed, and she finally managed to land her eyes on yours, her hand fisting into your hair again.
“Don’t you dare,” She husked, and your eyes flashed before you leaned in, kissing her harshly as your hand worked languidly inside her.
“God, you’re stunning like this,” you whispered against her lips, your accent was heavier when you were unfocused, and she shuddered as she realized it did things to her. You curled your fingers, finding a spot that had her hips snapping up as she clutched onto you.
“Fuck!” She whimpered, and you chuckled, thrusting your fingers into her a little harsher at that exact spot, making all sense of pride dissolve as pleasure overwhelmed her. “Right there- right fucking there, oh good god,” she moaned, her eyes scrunching closed as she attempted to focus on her impending climax.
She was gorgeous, stunningly so, her hair falling from its place as sweat began to glisten on her brow. You hummed in pleasure, more than happy just watching the woman fall apart.
“Will you come again for me, love?” You asked gently, and she gasped, nodding as her eyes locked on yours again, she looked starving and it drove you madder than you already were. “Do you need it, darling? Do you need to give in, let go?” You whispered, and she sighed, nodding as her body gave into you, following your every movement as she just stared up at you with eyes so full of sheer need it took your breath away.
You leaned in, brushing past her lips and making her whimper before your own settled just next to her ear, your breath making her skin tingle as the feeling of your fingers quickly pushed her to the edge.
”Then be a good girl and come for me, Larissa.” You breathed, and she saw white. She nearly screamed, her legs trying to snap shut around your hands as her orgasm took her with such force she didn’t think it was possible. Her back bowed, her nails clawing into your bare flesh and making you grunt as you thrust into her, again helping her ride it out until she couldn’t do anything but lay there and take it.
The woman became a whimpering mess, her eyes barely able to focus as she came down, and you couldn’t help but look in awe at the woman reduced to this. You kissed her gently, and she gasped against your lips, moaning as your tongue slipped over hers.
“You did so well for me, darling, perfect.” You whispered, drawing your hand back and finally allowing her to relax fully. She felt like she was made of jelly, her body limp as a pleasant feeling of warmth and bliss settled inside her. You took your fingers to your lips, cleaning them off and moaning at your taste, making her eyes snap open to watch you, her jaw dropping at the sight.
“ Oh ,” she breathed, and you laughed a little, leaning forward and kissing her sweetly. She startled. You didn’t normally kiss her like that. You had, but the softness in it, it was almost domestic, it made her want to cry, strangely. “I didn’t realize you, you enjoyed it that much.” She swallowed, and you fixed your gaze on her, the intensity of your eyes making her shudder.
“I enjoy you, Larissa.” You hummed tiredly, turning to get up. She grabbed your wrist immediately, making you freeze in place, and her eyes went wide, her hand instantly softening as she stroked her thumb over the spot softly,
“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to grab-“ she began, her throat closing up as she panicked, and you turned back to her, leaning down once again and kissing her softly, sweetly and tenderly, easing all the worry she had.
“I was just going to get some water, I wasn’t leaving.” You assured her, and part of her flushed with embarrassment at how transparent she was, yet as you took her hand, kissing the palm before standing, walking over to the washroom, all thoughts of anything else faded away.
Your skin practically glowed in the low light, your hair even more wild than normal, but your body, your body floored her. You were just stunning. She stared at every inch exposed to her, all the tired muscles and scars over your soft skin. Every atom of you a masterpiece in her opinion, all soft curves hiding strong muscle, gentleness wrapping strength, littered with danger and pain. It was poetic, almost, the way you looked. It took her breath away.
“You’re staring,” you hummed, and she blinked as she realized you returned, and were now standing directly above her holding a glass of water. It was quickly becoming her favorite pastime, she noticed, however it was rather annoying that you always caught her.
“You can’t blame me for wanting to take you in for as long as you’re uncovered.” She retorted, and your brows shot up, a blush staining your cheeks as you looked away, handing her the glass. She drank it quickly, setting it down on the night table before sitting up, leaning over and placing her hands on your hips, you seemed to twitch under her attention, a fact that went far from unnoticed as her thumbs began to draw circles on your hips.
This was the most she had ever touched you, she realized. The only thing preventing you from being fully naked was the thin fabric of your underwear. Her thumb prodded at the hem, slipping under it so she could continue her patterns on the front of your hips, still far from where she wanted to touch, but closer than she had ever been.
You gasped, hunching over and placing your hands on her shoulders as you bent your head down, your eyes squeezing shut for a moment.
“ Please ,” you whimpered, and she gasped. “Please, I’m already exhausted, I can’t give you more,” your voice broke on your words, and her hands drew back, leaning up to cup your face and force you to look at her. There were tears in your eyes when you finally did. You wanted her, excruciatingly badly, yet you couldn’t give in, not tonight. “I’m sorry,” you whispered, and she hushed you, pulling you into bed with her and laying you down.
“Will you stay?” She whispered against you, and you looked into her eyes again, laying next to her, your hair fanned out on the pillow behind you, your blackened hand cupping her face as your other arm wrapped around yourself protectively.
“If you’d like,” you swallowed, and she pulled you close, making you gasp as you felt her skin against yours, it was still enough to take your breath away.
You had a feeling it always would be.
“You know I want you to,” she breathed, and you nodded, burying your head in her chest, making her swallow.
“I do. But I doubt you know how much it means to me,” you murmured, and she felt her breath leave her as she just began to stroke her hand over your hair gently.
You fell asleep quickly, almost instantly, with her holding you, and she nearly cried in relief at knowing she could at least give you this. She could give you rest. Finally.
Notes:
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Chapter 22: Home
Summary:
The news you get is horrific, contrasting the dream of a morning you had. You’re left in utter shock, but for the first time in a long time, not alone.
WARNING: Death/Blood/ritualistic cutting
Notes:
Hello darlings!
I Hope you enjoy this chapter, it’s a bit of a shorter one, but I promise you it’s not lacking! Let me know what you think and please consider donating on my KoFi! Happy Pride!!!
- V
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
It was peaceful. That was the first thing you felt.
You smiled as the breeze fluttered over your skin, brushing the grass against your body where you laid on the ground. Peaceful. You waved your fingers and flowers sprung forth, making you laugh a little. It was easy, when it was like this. It was less a thought or expression of power to use your ability than it was a release.
You heard the piano playing off in the distance, and you looked up, smiling when you saw her sitting there, just like she used to.
You were in the garden at the hospital, and Georgiana had opened the doors to the sunroom so you could hear her playing. You smiled brighter as you watched her. She used to play whenever you asked her to, and often when you didn’t. It was her way of being there with you, when you needed it. You stood, walking around barefoot in the garden again, the sun lazing down and warming your skin, your bare skin. The one place you could remain uncovered, the one person you never had to cover anything with.
The playing stuttered, and you looked over to find the woman struggling. You snapped to attention instantly, there were many things Georgiana did, but struggling was not one of them.
You walked up to the woman, standing next to where she was as her fingers stilled on the keys, unable to keep going.
She was crying.
Your breath stuck in your throat, she never cried, ever. You had seen her cry perhaps four times in your life, and even then she could always continue her tasks through it.
You placed your hand on her shoulder gently, and the older woman hung her head, trying to stop herself.
“Have I… have I been cruel to you?” She asked brokenly, and immediately you wrapped your arms around her shoulders, pulling her in to rest on your chest. It was odd. She had always comforted you, and you were always there, by her side, but never did you hold her like this. Not in this way.
“No, no you haven’t.” You said softly, and tears stained the soft dress you wore, only making you want to assure her more. It hurt you, watching her break like this. She was always so strong, always the sure foundation, but it seemed that even she had her weak points. You never knew you were one of them.
“I push you too hard, I know that, I should never have brought you back into this.” She hissed against you, and you shook your head, soothingly playing with her brown and gray curls with one of your hands.
“I wouldn’t change it.” You swallowed, and she stilled for a moment. “I am thankful for the work I do, Georgiana, I am happy to do it.” You breathed, and the woman shook her head, looking up at you with tears in her eyes. The sight of her deep green eyes laden with tears shook you to your very core.
“You’re not happy,” she breathed, and you shook your head, furrowing your brows.
“Of course I am! I’m here, with you, with Jenkins, with my- with my family.” You strained, your voice faltering on the last word. The woman stood, dwarfing you as she did, and stroked your cheek gently.
“You don’t even know what that word means.” She whispered, kissing you on the forehead, and you grabbed onto her hands, holding her close for just a moment longer.
“I- I am.” You protested, but she shook her head, smiling down at you sadly. “Not yet. She’ll show you though. God I’m so proud of the both of you, she already is showing you.” She hummed, and you looked at her strangely, trying to find her meaning.
“I don’t understand,” you breathed, and she chuckled,
“you will.” She murmured, shaking her head and walking off, leaving you alone again, the sun warming you for a bit before it faded, the dream fading with it.
…
Larissa looked down at you as you slept. You looked, peaceful. It was a striking comparison to the pain she knew to live in you. It inhabited every line on your face, the faint ones along your eyes and the heavy one that creased your brow when you thought. It weighed down each lash, stole color from your cheeks and worried your lip. Yet now, as you slept in her bed, she didn’t see it. For the first time, she couldn’t find it in you.
The traces it left were still there, yes, but your face was bare of the pain itself. She always knew you were gorgeous, striking even, but there was something so profoundly beautiful in the way you looked when you were like this, at peace. It made her want to keep you this way forever, a trace of a smile on your lips as you laid in her bed, warm and safe.
You sighed in your sleep a little, adjusting a bit on your side, and she moved back to give you more room, swallowing nervously. She knew touch was difficult, she had seen it, she was terrified of pushing you too far again, of hurting you. The anxiety in her spiked as you adjusted, the worry that she would push you too far flooding her as your face seemed to scrunch a little.
A little whimper left your lips, and she pulled back further, giving you more room, only to feel your arms around her suddenly, pulling her in.
“No, stay, please- I want you close …” you murmured, tucking your head into her shoulder. Suddenly Larissa’s heart was pounding in her chest, her hands instantly going to you to pull you in, the little sigh and smile you gave when she did making her feel like she was floating on air.
You were half asleep, hazy, you likely didn’t even know what you were saying, but the words, the way you said them, could have made the woman cry. You were asking for her, for her of all people. It was her you wanted close, and the feeling made her heart swell.
You hummed happily, taking a deep breath in as you started to wake up. You felt the sleep lifting from you, yet the comfort didn’t go as it often did. It stayed. Comfort and warmth, you were wrapped in it. The scent of her leftover perfume invaded your brain, and you froze as you realized where you were.
You were practically on top of her, your head tucked into her neck as your body half laid on her, your left leg and arm strung over her as you held her close, her right side pressed into you, holding you, keeping you there. You looked up at her nervously, the closeness of the situation startling you.
“I- hello, g-good morning, im sorry, I di-didn’t mean to-“ you stuttered, but she just shook her head, wrapping you up closer and making your breath hitch as your eyes slid closed. The bliss that spread across your face struck the woman, leaving her breathless as she watched your mind try to make sense of someone touching you, holding your body as if it was a tender thing to be treated with care.
Her hands roamed over your back and you shivered, hiding your face in her chest as she traced your muscles and scars, memorizing them gently. Every inch of you was a masterpiece, one that she wanted to keep discovering forever.
“You’re beautiful,” she whispered, and you have a choked chuckle, clearly not expecting the compliment and attempting to brush it off as your face burned. You turned deeper into her neck, hiding your face from her, however she could still feel the physical heat of your blush. “So sensitive,” she muttered as you shivered when her hands traced along your spine, and you swallowed, heating up even more, the flush spreading to the tips of your ears, where she could see it.
“Well I’m not used to someone-“ you were cut off by your own gasp as she drug her nails over your hips gently, making you press your hips back into her hand. “To- to someone touching me,” you nearly whimpered, your mind unable to process the gentle heat she was scorching you with.
She chuckled lightly at the way you reacted, your endlessly fascinating mind, your quick tongue being reduced to this as she touched you. It made her swell with pride, and it nearly broke her heart.
Her fingertips slipped lower, over your hip, and your thighs tensed, your hips bucking into her a bit. Your mind was still foggy, you weren’t thinking- you couldn’t when her touching you felt this good. Nothing else mattered, just her, just this.
“Fuck, Larissa, I- yes, please k-keep tou~ uching me, it f-feels so good!” You whimpered, and the woman nearly groaned at your reaction. You really were sensitive, beyond anything that she could fathom. You had let her touch you, but you hadn’t shown her this side of you yet.
“Good lord you’re mesmerizing,” she whispered, and you buried your face into her neck further, your arms winding around her shoulders.
“ Mmm , mhm,” you nodded senselessly, and she couldn’t help but smirk at your reaction. She leaned down, nuzzling her lips against your ear.
“Let me take care of you, darling,” she whispered, and you moaned, your face heating up even more as you lay on her chest. Close, she was so close to you, her hands were on you and it was alright, it was wonderful .
At just that moment you snapped up, an entirely different shiver running down your spine. You went rigid, rising up and off of her as you sensed something wrong. She panicked, looking up at you in utter worry.
“I- is everything alright- did I harm you?” She worried, and you blinked a few times, shaking your head before meeting her eyes again. They were full of worry, her ice blues striking you like a chord only she could play so resoundingly.
“No,” you breathed, shaking your head, utterly mystified. “No, no, Larissa, no, you didn’t do anything wrong.” You whispered, leaning down and kissing the worry off of her pouted lips. She shuddered against you, swallowing and nodding, still unsure.
“Forgive me, I- I worry,” she began, and you just shook your head, leaning down and kissing her lips softly.
“You didn’t do anything wrong.” you repeated, and she nodded, swallowing as she tried to understand. She was cut off, however, when she heard someone attempting to open her door.
“What on earth-“ she began as the familiar sound of the lock being toyed with clicked across the room. “Ophelia,” she whispered, her tongue catching in her throat, and you stood slowly, reaching to the side of the bed and pulling out a knife. “When did you-“ she hissed, but you waved her quiet, the woman shifting in her bed to appear as if she had clothing on, enabling you to take the throw blanket at the end of the bed and wrap it around yourself as you twirled the knife in your hand, preparing.
The lock jiggled, the doorknob attempting to turn, then pausing, then trying again. Whoever it was, was attempting to pick the lock, they were trying to get in without anyone knowing, and your heart pounded in your chest with pure anxiety, adrenaline flooding you as the door creaked, the knob turning the entire way and opening a crack.
You swung your arm, embedding the knife in the door frame just next to the handle, making whoever was there freeze in shock.
“I would advise against moving any further.” You warned, and Larissa felt a shiver run down her spine at the tone of voice you took.
You heard a familiar voice curse and immediately straightened up, rolling your eyes and holding the blanket around your chest tighter.
“Wednesday Addams!” You reprimanded, and the girl swung the door open, her eyes going wide at seeing you standing there. “Are you out of your mind!” You groaned. “I don’t know what on earth would possess you to break into the headmistress’s rooms, but I can assure you that it is a massive violation, not only of the rules but basic decency-“ you were cut off as the girl ran to you, dropping what she was holding and wrapping her arms around your waist, shaking slightly as tears began to come.
Your eyes went wide, your entire demeanor shifting as all frustration melted from you the second you wrapped your arms around the girl.
“Wednesday, darling, what’s wrong?” You asked softly, and Larissa gaped at the interaction. Wednesday had broken into her rooms, for god knows what reason, and now the girl was in your arms sobbing.
“I couldn’t find you.” She gritted, and you breathed out slowly, shaking your head.
“Wednesday, even if you didn’t know where I was, you can always call, and it’s not as if I was going anywhere-“ you began, only for the girl to squeeze you tighter, making you jump a bit.
“There was so much blood, and you were- your body was so bent, it was wrong .” She hissed, and you closed your eyes slowly as you understood. The girl had seen you die.
“I’m here, it’s alright, I’m here.” You whispered, running her back slowly. “It wasn’t real darling, you know that, it’s over now.” You said softly, and Wednesday clutched onto you as you gave Larissa an apologetic look.
She just watched you in shock, stunned at how the girl seemed to crumple into you. She had never seen Wednesday cry, and you just held her gently, doing your best to bring her back. Wednesday had seen you die she realized. She remembered Morticia shaking, but more often than not laughing at the visions she had, but you and Wednesday, this was your life.
You looked back to your niece, running a soothing hand over her back, holding her supportively.
“What you see is not assured.” You hummed, and the girl began repeating it slowly, her normal deadpan now almost frightening. You were silent for a moment, just holding the girl as best you could. The minutes stretched on, your hands never wavering as she clutched onto you like you would disappear.
“Take it away.” She said, her voice nearly breaking, and you froze.
“Wednesday, I can’t-“ you began, but she shook her head, pulling away and leaving you with the tears streaming down her face.
“Yes you can. I know you can, mother said you had drugs that would dampen it, make it stop!” She rasped, and you stepped back, closing your eyes for a brief moment in an attempt to calm yourself. You were going to eviscerare Morticia later, but that was not what mattered.
“Wednesday, I will not-“ you tried again, but the girl stepped closer, frustration and rage flooding her features behind the mask she attempted to keep in place.
“Why?” She snapped, and you raised your brows in shock, Larissa standing hesitantly at the confrontation, entirely unsure what to do. She had no place in this, yet it felt wrong to stand by as the girl took out her pain on you. “Why? I know you can! You spend your whole life working away in your lab to do it for others, why not me?” She cried, and your entire demeanor shifted.
“Wednesday, you know very well how much you matter to me, do not make this about my job, we both know why I do it.” You grimaced, and the girl narrowed her eyes.
“You’ll help everyone else, but you won’t help me!” She spat, and you took a step back, staring down at her intensely.
“I will not let you destroy your mind like I did.” You said gravely, and both your niece and Larissa stared at you in shock. Wednesday recovered first.
“So! You’re a bit kooky! Who isn’t-“ she began, and you shook your head firmly, a look of hard pain and shame crossing your face.
“That is not what I am talking about, and you know it.” You said, and she just shook your head.
“What are you talking about then? You’re a genius!” She argued, and you sighed deeply, shaking your head.
“Not like I was.” You managed, and finally it was too much for Larissa. She came to you, standing a few feet behind you, but close enough you knew she was there. Her presence was strangely, grounding.
“Thirty seven seconds.” You said calmly, and the girl stopped, staring at you.
“What?” She snapped, and you gritted your teeth.
“Thirty seven seconds. I have thirty seven seconds to work, I need every single one of those seconds and I need my mind to work faster, impossibly faster, but you know what it can’t do anymore?” You asked her, and her eyes went wide.
“Auntie- I-“ Wednesday stuttered, only for you to cut her off.
“It’s hard enough in a lab, I work in the field.” You swallowed. “Thirty seven seconds with bullets flying at you, and someone blitzing so fast you can’t tell limb from limb anymore.” You continued, and Larissa’s eyes went wide as she realized what you were talking about. You were talking about pulling a child out of a blitz, a shifter out of a blitz. “Almost anyone can last for thirty seconds, but after that they start to deteriorate, the stronger ones can even make it ten minutes, but these ones are starved, beaten, and abused beyond measure. I have less than a minute to dose them. Less than a minute to make a snap decision, calculate it, and administer a dose.” You said. “It used to take me nineteen seconds.” The pause that filled the room was palpable. “Now it takes twenty four.” You swallowed, turning and walking to the bed, gathering the nightdress you had entered the room in and pulling it over your head before you dropped the blanket.
You walked to your niece slowly, staring her down in such a way it almost made the girl scared for what you would say next.
“I pray that you will never have to make decisions like that, but I will not give you anything, anything, that would even make that affect a possibility.” You said coldly, and she stared at you for a moment.
“When will you stop using your work as an excuse to run from the people who want you close?” She spat, and you could have heard a pin drop.
Larissa just stared at you as her heart sank, her mind spinning up images of you leaving, of you never coming back to her, of you never making it back to her. It was a horrifying idea, all of it, and it terrified her. You took a deep breath in, looking at your niece.
“When I no longer have to leave to try to help children who have been through hell, just for what they are.” You said, and she stared at you for a moment. The gaze between the two of you was powerful, nearly making Larissa shudder. Wednesday was stubborn, often vindictive even, but against you… she didn’t know.
“You won’t take it away.” The girl said, and you shook your head.
“I couldn’t even if I wanted to.” You sighed, looking away for a moment. “Believe me, I’ve tried.” You admitted, and again, the girl just stared, her eyes intense, yet revealing nothing other than the trace of red around them from crying.
“Then help me control it.” She adjusted, and you raised a brow.
“Controlling it, I cannot promise, managing it, that we can do.” You replied, and she looked at you for a moment.
“Can I- I need to feel your heartbeat.” She almost whispered, and finally, finally the both of you softened.
You just hummed quietly, opening your arms to the girl and allowing her close, pulling her in until she could hear the heartbeat, until she could feel it against her cheek.
“It’s alright, I’m here Wednesday, you’re safe.” You said softly, and the girl nodded into you. It was silent for a moment, you looking to Larissa apologetically as Wednesday clutched onto you.
She shouldn’t see this. She shouldn’t see the toll you and your niece had to pay, as if everything else wasn’t enough.
“I’m here.” You whispered again, and the girl clutched onto you. Your phone buzzed, and the girl held you tighter when you looked at it on the table. “Wednesday, I have to-“
“You have to stay. With me.” She said, and you sighed, feeling your heart breaking. You loved your niece, you did, but she didn’t need you, not like the children you worked with did. Larissa looked at you worried, and you sighed, nodding to the phone.
“Would you mind…” you trailed, and the woman looked at you surprised, but nodded her head mutely, going to check it. She just furrowed her brows, looking at you.
“It- it says that S-SER went black?” She asked, and she watched as the blood drained from your face. That was bad. Something was wrong, very wrong to make you look like that.
“I- I- I just spoke to her a few days ago, she was fine- she…” you trailed off, your eyes going wide. “She was fine…” you whispered again, and you looked down at Wednesday in your arms.
“You have to go, don’t you?” The girl asked, and you swallowed, staring off for a moment.
“Wednesday, I- I wish I didn’t-“
“But you have to.” She nearly spat, and it was all you could do not to cringe.
“Wednesday, I love you- I have always loved you, and I always will, but there are things I have to do, my darling.” You said, reaching for her to cup her face. The girl smacked your hand away, leaving you standing in shock staring at her as she ran from the room, your eyes watering as you looked at your still outstretched hand.
She was gone. She ran. Wednesday had never run from you, never rejected your touch before, and you felt it crush you.
It took you a few moments to realize Larissa was saying your name, trying to get your attention.
Everything seemed as if it was far away, disorganized. Many, many rejected your touch, almost everyone, yet Wednesday never had. For the first time she had pushed you away, and you swore it hurt worse than anyone else ever had.
“Ophelia,” you heard your name softly, and you blinked away the tears, gasping in some air as you attempted to pull yourself together.
“I- I have to go, she- I-“ you were cut off by a faint snapping sound, causing you to look to the source and Larissa to jump back.
Sugar was standing a few feet from you, in a black dress, a small pink bird on her shoulder. You recognized the rose finch in seconds, and much to Larissa’s shock, you began berating the bird, not even addressing the young woman now in front of you.
“You know very well how dangerous it is to teleport in a form other than your natural state Mirella! The risks are astronomical! You could- you could be ripped apart- you can’t even imagine the pain that it would-“ this time, when you were cut off, it was from the bird launching itself off the woman’s shoulder, and shifting mid flight into the girl you were speaking to.
Mirella stood towering above you, her strawberry blonde barrel curls flowing about her face, yet her perpetual cherry lipstick was smudged, her soft eyeliner smeared under her eyes, she had been crying.
You stopped in a moment as the girl barreled into you, nearly knocking you back as she clutched onto you, burying her face in your neck, shrinking herself to do so. You surrendered to it, knowing the girl wouldn’t allow her hands to venture anywhere other than on the nightgown without your permission.
Larissa gaped. That girl had just done a full shift in front of you and your only reaction was worrying for her safety. Her entire life she had watched people react in horror or at least disgust to shifting, and here you were holding this girl in your arms, this girl who would shift into them!
“She was so little,” she sobbed, and you wrapped your arms around her, holding her close and beginning to run your hands through her hair.
“I know, I know Mirella.” You whispered, and she only sobbed harder. Larissa looked helplessly from you and the girl to Sugar, who she had at least been in the same room as before, and the southern Belle just shook her head slightly, motioning for her to let this play out.
“I should have caught it! She came to me for advice! I just gave her some pads- I didn’t think!” She sobbed, and you held her close, looking to Sugar. The redhead nodded when you mouthed a ‘Thank you’ doing her best to look away from the scene.
Her eyes wandered the room, taking everything in, including the very tall white haired woman next to you. Larissa stood slightly straighter as Sugar clearly moved to be more protective of the both of you, her eyes widening slightly when she took in what you both were wearing.
“Phil, is she?” She began, her southern twang coming through, and you sighed.
“She’s not cleared, but she might as well be- I- I trust her.” You sighed, and Larissa looked at you surprised.
“I’ll be damned.” Sugar muttered, and you shot her a look.
“I- I can’t have earned that, not truly, not in this way.” Larissa swallowed, and you only stared at her for a moment.
“I’m going to funeral. For a girl with your ability.” You said almost blankly, and Mirella clutched onto you harder. “She was fifteen.” You said, and you watched the moment Larissa’s eyes realized exactly how serious this was. This was a dead child. Going black, going down, she had heard you use the terms before, they meant death. You were going for a dead child. “I will go to a home in the country, and a garden in it.” You continued. “The home belonged to a woman named Georgiana, and the people there will most likely shock you, horrify you, and disgust you.” You continued. “There will be some you will not even be able to stand looking at. But there will be some, like Mirella, who will look at you, even if you can’t look at them, and see hope.” You landed, and Larissa nearly gaped at you.
Of all the things you could say. First Mirella and now this- was she truly that extraordinary? That important? How could she be? She was a mistake- a failure- an embarrassment. That is what she had been told her entire life, how could you possibly say anything else?
“Whether you come or not is your choice, but I- I’m sure many would look at you being there as a sign that maybe, just maybe, they can accomplish as much as you have.” You choked, your emotions getting the better of you before you turned back to the girl in your arms, holding her tightly. Mirella looked up, her normally pinkish eyes turned red from the tears as she looked up at Larissa.
She stepped back from you, shifting back to her full height, reaching just an inch above the woman you had, very obviously, spent the night with. She swallowed something down, staring at her hero with you at her back.
“I used to dream of meeting you. Of actually meeting the woman who pushed so much for all of us.” She said. “I wish it wasn’t today.” Was all the girl managed before she turned, heading back to take Sugar’s hand. The Texan hummed, stroking it before looking between you and Larissa. “So, am I takin’ two or three, Miss Weems?” She asked her, and you swallowed, looking to the woman with… hope.
You wanted her to come.
You wanted her to come with you, to see some of your home, to learn that she was so incredible, not just to you, but to so many. That she was an inspiration, that she made a difference she didn’t even know about. You wanted to sit with her in the garden, to find out if her aunt truly was Georgiana, to show her that while there were monstrosities you had to face, there were gifts too.
There would be a funeral, you would be in black, but there would be even more children still alive, staring at her as if she was hope personified. Larissa looked to you, unsure.
“I couldn’t possibly- the school…” she began, and to your surprise, it was Mirella who interrupted her.
“It’s Sunday.” She said. “It’s Sunday, and a woman who trusts no one is trusting you with the lives of those she loves. Take the chance, Miss Weems. Heaven knows someone took it on you.” She said, and Larissa’s eyes seemed to melt. She looked as if she may cry.
“They did,” she swallowed. “But forgive me Miss Mirella, never have I been given this much trust.” She said softly, walking over to you and taking your hand. Your breath hitched slightly, and you squeezed your fingers around her, leaning slightly closer to her.
The truth was you didn’t want to face this alone. You were tired of facing this alone, attempting to hide the grief that tortured you. As her hand slipped into yours, you realized that, at least for today, You wouldn’t have to.
You felt the pull of Sugar’s teleporting, closed your eyes, took a deep breath in, and felt a rush of wind go over your body. When you opened them again you were standing outside an old English manor house, deep in the woods, a bit away from the building itself. You let go of Sugar’s hand, only to feel both Larissa squeeze yours tighter and Mirella seek yours out.
You were home.
“This- this is the hospital?” Larissa whispered next to you, staring in shock at the slightly overgrown building, and you hummed, pulling her along as you threaded your arm around Mirella’s calming the girl.
“It’s larger than you think.” Was all you said.
Larissa walked with you, heading to the main house, passing by the little white pavilion to her left and the well to her right. The well caught her eye for a moment, it was almost as if something flashed in it, a bit of light seeming to come from it before she was pulled along, towards the main house. You hesitated for a moment outside the doors, unsure. You hadn’t been back in months, and it was for good reason, but still, this was your home.
“It’ll be alright, ma’am.” Sugar tried to assure you, stepping back to allow you to open the door yourself. You sighed deeply, stepping up and removing your hand from Larissa’s, who did her very best not to chase after it.
“Wait-“ Mirella rushed, and you turned to her slowly. “I- I’m not ready.” She whispered, and Larissa watched as your gaze instantly softened as you looked at the girl.
“I…” you trailed off for a moment, sighing as you closed your eyes. You looked down, realizing you were in nothing but your night slip and wrapping your arms around yourself.
“Sugar, would you mind…” you trailed, and the woman nodded.
“I’ll get one of your sweaters, yeah.” She said, immediately flicking out of view, leaving you alone, with the two shape shifters. She was back in a second, handing you a sweater you pulled over your head before giving some reason as to why she was flirting off, leaving the three of you there.
Larissa looked at you helplessly.
“If there’s somewhere you would rather me-“
“Hush, you’re my hero and the scary one is head over heels for you, just sit.” She said, taking a seat on the staircase leading up to the front doors, leaving you to sigh deeply as you turned scarlet.
“Mirella- I-“ you stuttered, but much to your surprise, it was Larissa who stopped you.
“She’s alright.” The woman said softly, her hand caressing your bare wrist for the briefest moment, making you shiver before she sat on the other side of you, mirroring the younger shifter and looking out into the woods surrounding the old manor.
You looked at her for a moment, and your heart caught in your throat.
Here she was, outside of your home, comforting one of your girls. The woman was festidious, she never got her clothing, shifted or not, dirty, and watching her do so now for the girl had your heart pounding in your chest. Mirella, however, was still Mirella.
“Do you have any weed?” The girl asked you, and you sighed deeply, glaring at her before you sat down between them both.
“I don’t smoke weed, it smells.” You wrinkled your nose, and Larissa narrowed her eyes at you as Mirella scoffed.
“Right, because Opium is so much better for you.” She deadpanned, and you hummed, looking out for a moment.
You just waited, looking out into the woods. You knew what was happening in the girl’s mind. Guilt. You didn’t know how Serena had died, just days ago she had called you. Just days ago you had talked her through her first period, at fifteen, the girl was dead. She had been at the hospital for two months, many of the others knew her, many liked her. She had friends. You would have to tell those friends she was gone, and you knew Mirella felt it was her fault.
Silence permeated between the two of you and the woman you- you adored, sitting next to you. The birds were still singing, it was strange to hear them do so on a day like this. You thanked the cloud cover for making it a little less mocking, yet the fact that life could go on at all, when one so young had just been snuffed out, felt like the universe spitting in your faces.
“It wasn’t her period.” Mirella whispered, and you saw red. You immediately stood, kicking a stone from the side of the building loose and revealing a secret compartment. Mirella glanced at it before continuing her staring into the void.
“She breaks.” She hummed, and you huffed in lieu of the sob that wanted to claw its way out of your throat.
“She’s human.” You replied, taking out a lighter and a joint. You brought the blunt to your lips with shaking hands, breathing in slowly as you lit it, before placing the lighter back into the crevice and pushing the stone back into place. You made your way back to the steps slowly, sitting between the two women again, doing your best to ignore the way Larissa’s eyes burned into you.
Her own were rimmed with tears, watching you like this. This wasn’t what she had seen before, this was a quiet breaking, the kind of grieving one does when no one else must know. This was a show of strength you simply didn’t have. You took a deep drag of the smoke, letting it permeate your lungs for a moment before exhaling slowly, allowing it to ease your mind.
“Miscarriage?” You asked, and your voice was hollow.
“Eggtopic,” Mirella swallowed, and you watched Larissa’s eyes go wide from the corner of your own as you bit back your own reaction.
“Moss said that she- that there was no way for us to have caught it during intake, it hadn’t even- even…” the girl took a sharp breath in to try to stop the tears from coming, and you placed your scarred hand over hers, rubbing her hand gently. “God- why don’t you let me fucking smoke?” She hissed, and you hummed.
“Because you’re twenty-three, and you’re better than me.” You replied calmly, and she stood up, beginning to pace as she laughed at you coldly.
“No, I’m not.” She bit, not looking at you. You opened your palm, growing a very thin sheet of willow bark before sprouting lavender, chamomile, passionflower, and skullcap, crushing the blend and rolling it in the bark while she went on. “I’m- i'm a mess! I don’t know how you fucking do this!” She yelled, and you simply replied calmly.
“You’re a teacher.” You reminded her.
“No, you’re a teacher, I’m just some halfwit trying to become one and I- I don’t even know how I’m going to look at them after this!” She nearly screamed, her pacing getting worse as she began to show signs of falling apart. Her hair began changing color rapidly, her height fluctuating with her emotions as well. Larissa watched in shock as you just let the girl go, not going to stop her or correct her. “I can’t- fuck- I can’t even get ahold of my fucking self, here I am morphing like a fucking fre-“
“Mirella!” You finally corrected, and the girl came to a stop, looking at you. You stood, slowly, taking another inhale of your makeshift cigarette.
“Give me some.” She nearly begged, and you held up the second one you had just made, holding the end to your own to light it. You were a strong woman, as was she, but you wouldn’t make her go through this without something to settle her nerves.
The herbs you used would settle her, were less dangerous than alcohol, and had nothing addictive in them. You would never give her or any of the children- grown or not- actual drugs, but you couldn’t expect her to remain perfect without anything. It was torture, and you knew it.
“You are not going to refer to yourself or anyone else in this house with that word, do you understand me?” You asked her bluntly, and she nodded.
“I’m sorry,” she breathed, and you handed her the lavender blunt.
“So am I.” You said, going back to your seat by Larissa.
The girl was shaking, staring between the two of you, the both of you sitting on the front steps to the only home she had ever known. In any other case, it would have been a dream.
“How do you do it?” She asked softly, and you hummed, looking to Larissa, who looked at an utter loss for words as she stared at the poor girl, her own emotions threatening her.
This was all so much, more than she had ever expected, she was horrified, awestruck, grateful and completely out of her depth all at once.
“Not well.” You replied, and she stared at you for a moment. Mirella scoffed.
“Bloody hell, here I am in front of the two of you loosing my shit- of all things.” She hissed, and you stared at her for a moment.
“There’s nothing particularly special about me, you’ve seen me do much worse than smoke some fairly harmless herbs, and as for Miss Weems…” you trailed, looking over to the woman. You didn’t know what to say, in your eyes, she was perfect, and you didn’t know how to comfort the girl who was terrified of just that.
“Wine.” She answered, and you raised your brows, surprised. Larissa swallowed, flushing slightly.
“Wine, red wine, liquor quite often, whisky- good, whisky, Scottish whisky, not the American swill.” She huffed. You stared at her, and in that moment, watching her spill her faults in an attempt to comfort one of the girls you had raised, perhaps the one you were closest to, you realized.
You loved her.
“More than one should, and, well, I’m sure you’ve figured out we can drink more than most, but enough that I have fallen asleep with my laptop open on a chair that makes my back ache many, many times.” She swallowed. “Bottles in a night, alone, sometimes, I- Christ I’m nearly an alcoholic, but my dear I am very, very flawed.” She said. “I wouldn’t fault you for doing what you must to tolerate, all of it.” She breathed, and even Mirella watched as your eyes filled with love.
The girl looked between the two of you with her eyes filling with tears, and she ran over, tackling you both to the steps and sobbing. You jumped, but wrapped your arms around her, looking apologetically to Larissa, who just took a deep breath, wrapping her own arms around the young shifter.
“Just a little longer.” Mirella whispered, and you rubbed her back.
“A little longer, then we’ll go get dressed.” You said softly, and she nodded into your shoulder, pulling you both closer.
Eventually she stood, taking your hand again, pulling you up. You hummed, offering your hand to Larissa on instinct, and both shifters exchanged a look at your unconscious contact with the woman.
“Fuck, I’ve got to get dressed.” You breathed, and Mirella stared at you for a moment.
“Would you, do my hair?” She said slowly, and you smiled softly at the girl, nodding.
“Of course, up to my room, yeah?” You breathed, and you took Larissa into the main hall of the manor. Her jaw dropped as you walked in, the old architecture reminding her of something, of someone, rather. She squeezed your hand, and you stopped, looking to the woman.
“Are you alright?” You said softly, and she looked around for a moment, swallowing at the antique paintings covering the walls, the delicate vases, her eyes landing on one in particular.
It was white and blue porcelain, filled with white irises, the most beautiful she had ever seen, blooming in delicate perfection, taking her breath away. They could have only been grown by you, she was certain as soon as she saw them. It was almost as if they had been frozen in the peak of their bloom, the most beautiful moment in perfect splendor for all eternity. You stood still for a moment when you saw what she was looking at, your eyes saddening as soon as you realized.
Above the vase hung a painting, a gorgeous painting of a woman with wild curly brown hair, and the fiercest green eyes she had ever seen. She was smiling knowingly at something off in the distance, the light in her eyes joyful, even in what Larissa was sure was a memorial.
“ Oh ,” you breathed, your hand slipping from hers as you walked slowly to the little memorial. You opened a drawer on the table holding the vase, taking out a knife, causing Larissa to tense.
“Ophelia-“
“Hush,” Mirella whispered beside her, and Larissa’s eyes snapped to the girl before she returned her gaze to you, this time unwavering.
You slipped the knife across your palm, taking your hand up to the vase and allowing your blood to flow down into it. The woman watched in mild horror as you bled, looking up at the painting, something she would never understand in your eyes. When you closed them, however, the gesture could only be described as praying.
“I- I didn’t know she believed in god.” She whispered to the girl beside her, who stood at her normal height again, an inch over Larissa, surprising her.
“She doesn’t, not in any one god, at least, but she speaks to them sometimes, the ones she’s lost.” Mirella swallowed. “She could line these halls with them.” She whispered softly, “But that one, right there, I don’t think she’ll ever stop speaking to.” Mirella swallowed.
“Georgianna.” Larissa realized, and the girl nodded.
“She bought this place, built it, ran it for years. She saved Ophelia with Jenkins and a medic, she was one of their first.” Mirella whispered softly, the both of them quiet as to not disturb you.
“And now she… please tell me she doesn’t do it alone.” Larissa whispered, her voice almost breaking. She ran a school for outcasts alone, but this, she couldn’t imagine this. She couldn’t imagine you sitting alone at night, in some office, trying to drown the weight of this in smoke, how she would in wine and liquor.
There was no hope, not for something this monumental.
She heard footsteps and looked up to see a tall, burly man in thick sunglasses, wild red hair and a beard walking down the steps. He was in an old t-shirt for some pub, stretching across his broad chest, and black cargo pants. His boots were scuffed, but looked as if they had been cleaned before he entered the manor, his hands were still dusted in dirt, despite what looked like clear attempts to wash them.
He huffed when he saw you standing at the painting, whispering softly, just as his brows narrowed over his glasses when he looked at Larissa. He stood still for a moment, evaluating her, almost as if he was trying to see something in her. Whatever the man was looking for, Larissa stood strong under his gaze, and he nodded slightly, moving on.
The man came to her and Mirella slowly, walking over to the younger girl, who immediately buried her head in his chest, being wrapped up in his big arms.
“Aye, ya did good Lass, ya did good.” He said gruffly, and you turned, tears in your eyes when you saw him.
“She comes home.” He choked, his own eyes filling with tears. You did your best to smile as you saw him, but instantly you felt like a girl again, loosing your first one.
He recognized it, nodding to you, reaching out an arm. You rushed over, burying yourself next to Mirella, holding him tight just for a moment, a second, before you took a deep breath, pulling away. Larissa had never seen you hug someone other than Wednesday, and she could feel herself bristle slightly.
“Jenkins,” you smiled, and he did too, if slightly choked up.
“I missed ya.” He said, and you smiled. “
I missed you too.” You said softly.
“Here ya are, showin up out of nowhere in yer night things, dragging’ along a proper lady like that, mind you.” He said, hooking a thumb to Larissa, who flushed. You laughed shakily, going to stand next to Larissa, who still stood a good three inches over the mountain of a man.
“Jenkins, this is Larissa We-“
“It’s a pleasure to meet you, Miss Weems.” He said, nodding his head. “We’ve spoken a few times, I beleive?” He continued, and you raised your brows as he extended a hand to shake.
“Yes, I beleive we have.” She said, taking the man’s hand, not even flinching at his almost horrifically warm skin. “You run warm for what your glasses tell me.” She said calmly, and he actually laughed at that, looking to you.
“She’s a quick one, I like her.” He said to you, before taking Mirella off.
“Come Lass, something to sit in your stomach before this all gets goin.” He said.
“Put some clothes on, and have Miss pretty hands shift into something black.” He called over his shoulder, and you sighed, feeling the headache begin.
“Put on a real shirt!” You called, and he waved over his shoulder, leading Mirella to what she assumed to be a kitchen.
“Come along, Larissa.” You sighed, taking her hand with your clean one and leading her up the stairs.
“This place it’s- it’s beautiful.” She said softly, marveling at the old architecture.
“Thank you,” you hummed. “Although the decorations were mostly Georgiana, she bought and furnished the place.” You smiled, and Larissa nodded.
“She seems like a multitalented woman.” The white haired woman swallowed, and you looked to her.
“There’s a high chance you could tell me.” You sighed softly, continuing up the stairs.
You led her to a room on the third floor, in a corner, with a view of the forrest to the side and a small balcony over the gorgeous garden below. There was a simple bed, a large wooden wardrobe, a desk, a large bookcase, and a separate vanity. Around the room grew vines, ones that she noticed bloomed with blue forget me nots as soon as you walked in, matching the ones in your hair perfectly. Her breath hitched as she looked at them.
“Did you…” she trailed, and you turned, looking to see her staring at the vines along your walls and ceiling.
“Oh, they respond to me, I- I’ve had this room since I was seventeen.” You hummed, and her eyes softened sadly when she remembered how young you were.
You opened the wardrobe, pulling out a tea length black dress, one of many, she realized with heartbreak. You wore them so often that they had just become a part of you, filling up your wardrobe as you collected them over the years. You ran your hands over the smooth material, the shallow boatneck would reveal just the tops of your shoulders before extending into three quarter length sleeves, the tight waist flowing into a soft but structured skirt.
You slipped off your sweater and night slip, Larissa looking softly at the scars that littered your body. You took a deep breath, your hands shaking slightly. You could do this, you told yourself. You had done it hundreds of times before, you could do this.
The woman with you walked to your side slowly, her hands slipping over yours, making your breath hitch as you tried not to cry.
“Breathe.” She whispered above your ear, and you nodded, taking a deep, slow breath with her as she pulled you against her chest. “You’re not alone, Ophelia.” She swallowed, running her hands lightly over your scarred arms, you nearly trembled in them. “I’m here, let me, let me help.” She whispered, and you nearly sobbed, you were being a fool, you didn’t know why this one was hitting you so hard.
Then again, you did. She was in your facility, and you weren’t there. You should have caught it, someone should have caught it.
“I can do this,” you shook your head. “I have done this, many times, it’s just another day.” You steeled yourself, and the woman turned you, sitting you on the bed in your underwear, kissing your forhead softly.
“You have, yes, but you don’t have to.” She said, and you nearly shook with the words. You had always done it alone, every time. You were good at doing this alone, at not letting anyone see the tears and the struggle.
“I- Larissa,” you breathed, and she pressed herself to you, letting your exhausted head lean on her soft body, silencing you.
She held you close for a minute before going to your wardrobe, opening the drawers until she found the bras, choosing one that would hide under the dress, then selecting a pair of gloves that would cover your arms with the dress. She helped you put on the bra, clasping it behind you before pulling the dress over your head, lacing it behind you.
You seemed to prefer old fashioned items, even in your mourning wear. The tea length dress needed stockings, or at least she expected you to wear them with your aversion to touch. Perhaps because it always went with the gloves, which she found at the vanity before opening the bottom of the wardrobe, looking to you. Perhaps that’s why you loved things old fashioned, or perhaps you had been inspired to, like she had.
“Mm, black granny boots, unpolished, they have a thick heel and there will likely be mud.” You sighed, and she found the pair you asked for, selecting a pair of black stockings to go with them, looking to you nervously.
She didn’t see any tights, and she didn’t mean to choose something that could be seen as provocative, especially not now, her hands running over the fine thigh high stockings nervously. You looked to her for a moment, seeing why she was hesitating before the room bloomed with pink and… black flowers. You were blushing, and mourning all at once.
It was as if complexity and juxtaposition were in your very nature, everything constantly at war within you. It made sense in a way, you grew life, beautiful, wonderful, incredible creations, life itself came from your very fingertips. Yet all you saw was death. In visions, even here, in your home, all you saw was death.
You stood, taking the stockings from her and rolling them up your thighs before pulling on and lacing the boots.
“You’ll see why.” You hummed gently, a trace of a smile finding its way to your face.
“Why- I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to stare-“
“I don’t mind, love.” You sighed, and she blushed. You smiled slightly, even now you could bring color to her cheeks, thank god, standing and pulling on the gloves she had chosen for you, tucking them under your dress sleeves and smoothing them down. “I wish that, I wish you could see my home on a better day.” You said softly, and Larissa could feel your heart breaking.
You had trusted her with this, perhaps your most closely guarded secret, and here you were, apologizing.
“Ophelia, I- today of all days you shouldn’t apologize, it’s- thank you, for having me to your home.” She said softly, and you looked at her.
For a moment, seeing her standing there, your mind threatened to flash with a vision, one of Georgianna in the same spot, and your voice caught in your throat.
“I have a feeling you should have come here a long time ago.” You said gently, taking her hand through her gloves and looking over her. “Something black?” You asked gently. “Or you can always borrow something of-“ you cut yourself off, staring at the door for a moment as you dropped her hand. She had every right to those clothes, in a way, but even the thought of someone else in them made you want to scream.
“I- Georgianna tended to stay about your height, we still have her…” you couldn’t fully finish the sentence, and by the time you turned around she was already in a black dress, one with a pencil skirt that fit her perfectly, making your eyes wander over the contrast between the dark material and her pale skin.
Thank god.
“You’re beautiful,” you whispered, and her breath caught. Now? Of all times you were thinking of this now?
“Thank you.” She said softly, looking cautiously at your now covered hand.
“Well then, I suppose it’s time for you to meet the rest of them.” You sighed, heading to the door.
“How many children are there?” She asked you, and you chuckled a little. “We can handle about six hundred at capacity, the record we’ve had is just under eight hundred, and believe me when I say I never want to reach that again.” You swallowed.
“Currently we’re at about four hundred and thirty two.” Your voice tilted up slightly at the end in question.
“Thirty one.” A voice came from down the hall, and you swallowed as you saw Mirella standing there nervously, a hairbrush in hand.
“Mine or yours?” You asked, and the girl swallowed.
“Yours is fine, but you don’t have much longer of solitude left.” Mirella warned, and you raised a brow just in time to hear three sharp whistles screeching through the house at such volume, you knew the only one capable of being the source was Jenkins.
Larissa cringed, before staring at you and Mirella, who seemed un-phased by the whole thing.
“What in the bloody hell was that?” She hissed, and Mirella sighed.
“Jenkins.” The both of you said in unison.
“For what purpose?” She asked incredulously, and you smiled, pulling her back into your room, Mieralla following patiently.
“Oh, he’s alerted the horde.” you sighed.
Notes:
Hello darlings! Let me know what you think!
KoFi: https://ko-fi.com/miss_v_257
Discord: https://discord.gg/MfAphGed
Chapter 23: Doors Thrown Open
Summary:
Larissa sees your home, the people you love, and more of you, than she ever thought she would.
WARNING: death/funerals/grief/guilt
Notes:
Hello my loves, good luck with this one, it was rather difficult to write, and still a little difficult to read! The songs used are “No Surprises” by Radiohead and “Wings” by Birdy.
Enjoy, and let me know what you think!
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
Larissa watched calmly as you brushed Mirella’s hair slowly, the barrel curls becoming softer waves that flowed about her shoulders.
“You can sit, you know.” You offered the woman, looking at her through the vanity mirror. Larissa was standing, seemingly comfortable there, but nervous at the same time. This was your home, these were the people you loved, this was what you protected more than anything, she felt as if she was somewhere sacred, as if any move could break the spell of calm, release the turmoil hiding behind your eyes.
“I didn’t want to intrude, if you would like some time alone, I’m sure I can occupy myself,” she offered, only for you to shake your head calmly, looking back down at Mirella.
“I trust you, Larissa, but wandering the grounds alone isn’t a good idea.” You said easily, and the woman swallowed. There was no threat in it, but there were staff who’s entire purpose was to keep this place hidden, and outsiders were never met with open arms, not unless you or Jenkins were guiding them.
“Of course, i didn’t mean that-“
“I know.” You said gently, cutting her off before her mind could whirl into a panic behind that ever calm face.
“You’re welcome to sit on the bed, if you like.” You offered, and she stared at it for a moment, unsure. This was your space, all of this was your space. Your home, and from what she knew it was likely the only place you had ever felt completely safe, and now she was in it. She almost felt like an outsider, as if she didn’t deserve to be here.
She sat slowly, her hand running over the quilt on your bed. It looked handmade, covered in flowers stitched into it, almost as if it had been made with you in mind, yet she couldn’t imagine you quilting. It relieved her, in a way, that someone had put time into making something for you. Her breath shook slightly. She was on your bed, in your home, her back as straight as a board, and your eyes threatening to fill with tears at any moment. Softness laid under her hand, worry in her heart, and she wanted nothing more than to pull you onto the bed, wrap you up in the flower covered quilt, and hold you until all your pain went away.
“Moss would have a field day with you, Miss Weems.” Mirella said softly, her normally energetic self a little flattened. The woman looked up and furrowed her brows, tilting her head a bit in question.
“Dr. Moss, she was the doctor the day- the day you saw Lily. She’s a telepath.” You explained, and Larissa nodded, thinking for a moment. Nevermore had a few throughout the years she had been there, as a student, then teacher, then headmistress.
“Is she strictly communicative or can she read minds as well?” The woman asked, and you relaxed slightly.
She hadn’t truly noticed the tension in you until you had let it go, but clearly you were worried about something. She sat on the bed, watching you work on Mirella’s hair carefully, brushing it smooth before beginning to twist and braid sections into a beautiful half-up style.
“She can read minds, as well as being empathic, so she is aware of how those around her are feeling.” You explained calmly.
“She can control it, but she doesn’t like crowds, hearing everyone’s thoughts and trying to block it all out is exhausting for her, however if you see her, she won’t be looking to read your mind, not unless she suspects you of something, of course.” You explained, beginning to pin Mirella’s hair. Larissa bristled, it made sense, that anyone here would be suspicious of someone new, yet the idea of someone poking around her mind still made her swallow down her worry.
“And just what would she suspect me of?” She asked, and this time it was Mirella who answered.
“The same thing all of us do, stealing the doc’s heart.” She said, winking at you in the mirror. You scoffed, giving her hair a slight tug and laughing a little when it turned slightly redder.
“Oh, don’t change the shape of it, I’m not re-doing it today!” You jokingly threatened, and she rolled her eyes.
“You will if I ask you, you’re a softie and you know it.” She retorted, and you raised a brow.
“I’ve never been so insulted in my life.” You deadpanned before going back to your task. Larissa smiled a bit, trying not to laugh at the interaction.
“You don’t mind it?” She asked, before she knew what she was saying, and you looked up at her in the mirror, furrowing your brows.
“I don’t mind what?” You asked, and her eyes widened slightly, she lifted her hand to wave it off, trying to pass by the question.
“Nevermind.” She deflected, and you narrowed your eyes slightly, unsure of what she wanted to know, but going back to your task. You wouldn’t push her, you were already infinitely grateful she was there, you wouldn’t push her into anything.
“Are you asking if she minds if I shift while she’s doing my hair?” Mirella asked softly, looking at the older shifter, and Larissa swallowed, a look of longing flitting over her face before she caught it, nodding calmly and looking to you, interest on her face.
There were certain things you, as a different classification, wouldn’t understand or immediately think of, yet the two shifters in the room instantly shared the same thought. Most were, at the very least, mildly disturbed by shifters, touching them while they were shifting, let alone a part of them that was shifting, was simply something most would find disgusting. Yet it hadn’t even crossed your mind.
“Oh! No, I don’t mind,” you smiled a bit before chuckling at a memory. “I don’t mind at all unless she undoes all the hard work I put in!” You teased, and Mirella laughed a bit, despite the grief the both of you shared.
It was beautiful, that you could have that. That despite everything, you could still coax a smile out of the girl.
“I got used to touch again by her doing my hair, Miss Weems, but at first I would shift from the nerves almost constantly, so she would redo it until I had fully calmed- only if I asked of course, but she always did.” Mirella said softly, looking from Larissa to you.
Larissa melted. The idea of you caring for someone like her, that you were so comfortable with it, touched her deeply. She had been cast away as a child, her ability something her parents were ashamed of, something her father daughter to, correct . Yet here you were, attempting to heal a young shifter’s connection with her abilities, celebrating them, talking about all of it as if it was a gift.
You were healing, a balm for every cruel word that had ever cut into her.
You hummed, nodding.
“No, I don’t mind. There are a few rules here, but it’s more for safety than anything, and no one is punished for shifting accidentally or nervous ticks or a blitz or anything like that.” You explained. “We encourage it actually, stretching and using your ability, learning and growing as you wish. I- hmmm .” You hummed, suppressing something that was either a chuckle or tears, yet it was likely both. “Georgianna used to teach the shifters, now Mirella does occasionally, but we have staff that teach every ability, every classification.” You said, your voice evening out at the end again. “There have to be a few rules for safety, but we encourage it all.” You sighed.
“Rules?” She asked, her mind grabbing on to the one thing you had said that could be taken negatively. You nodded, still working on Mirella’s hair, but watching her closely out of the corner of your eye.
“Yes, there are a few. Firstly, no impersonating staff, as we all have different clearances, and that is for the safety of everyone around.” You explained.
“No mocking the other children.” Mirella added, slightly put out.
“Like that ever stopped you.” You said to the girl, who laughed a little.
“I used to turn into a miniature version of a siren girl and sing songs with teeny tiny vocal chords!” Mirella cackled, and you sighed tiredly, Larissa laughing slightly, mildly mesmerized by it all, by your casual, your loving treatment of something she had been despised for throughout her life.
“Yes, that feud lasted for months .” You groaned. “Eventually they got along, but Christ it took forever to get them to stop tormenting each other.” You sighed, and Mirella smirked a little bit.
‘I won’ she mouthed to Larissa, who smirked slightly, only for you to glare at the both of them.
“ Behave , no feuds today.” You warned, and Mirella sobered instantly.
“Sorry.” She muttered, and you stiffened when you realized what you had reminded her of. You were here to bury a girl, you couldn’t forget that.
“That’s alright, love.” You said softly, applying the finishing touches to her hair.
“No impersonating the dead.” Mirella added, and you hummed, grimacing slightly before you nodded.
“Grief, affects us all differently, but that- it’s one we actually enforce, much more than the other two.” You sighed. “Granted, the harshest punishment here is being confined to a floor, but still. That one stands.” You swallowed, squeezing Mirella’s shoulders before walking over to the door.
“Who was it?” Larissa asked you suddenly, and you tried to smile, knowing it was a pained look as you stared at the floor.
“One of the girls took to walking around as her sister after she died. It caused… issues.” You said quietly, swallowing and taking a deep breath before looking up again, fixing a neutral expression on your face before placing your hand on the door knob. “Now, many of our residents don’t come up into the main house, we have many in ICU, and many more who stay in their sections and prefer not to interact, but it is very possible there is a crowd of children outside this door,” you warned Larissa, who attempted to smile through the first part.
“You say this as if I don’t deal with crowds of children on a daily basis.” She reminded you, and you nodded.
“This is true, however a lot of them are young shifters who may lose their minds upon seeing you here.” You explained, and she blushed slightly, but scoffed, waving her hand.
“I really don’t know what’s so interesting about me.” She protested.
“Other than the fact that you are walking proof that shifters can pursue whatever we want despite the fact that we’re largely mistrusted, sure.” Mirella deadpanned, and you laughed a little as Larissa sighed, shaking her head.
“You really can’t think I of all people matter that much, in the grand scheme of things.” She said, and Mirella looked at you.
“Open the door.” She said, and you chuckled a little, looking between both women in your room.
“You’re cruel.” You smiled to her, and she crossed her arms.
“No, I’m just right, now open the door.” She said, and you sighed, opening the door to reveal what could only be described as a pile of fifteen children, all straining to see into your room.
“Oh!” You smiled, looking at them all.
“Did Jenkins only let your floor up?” You asked, and they peered into the room.
“He said we can go first, something about not overwhelming a guest!” One of them said excitedly, and you smiled, nodding.
“Yes, and what a perfect group to come up.” You praised, and a few of them beamed. They were all between the ages of four and seventeen, as best as Larissa could tell, and she smiled gently at them, they looked so animated, excited to see you.
“Miss Ophelia, he said that you brought a- oh my god.” One whispered, her eyes practically widening to the size of dinner plates when she saw Larissa. She absolutely gaped up at her, walking forward utterly mesmerized, her tiny stature meaning she quite literally looked up at the woman. “You’re- you- wow. ” She whispered, and you chuckled a little bit, covering your mouth as a few of the other girls came in, one or two clinging to your skirt slightly.
“Introduce yourself Lorraine, staring isn’t very nice.” You said to the girl, who just sort of nodded as she looked up at Larissa, who was growing more uncomfortable and concerned by the second.
She knew she was often a sight, and many children had looked before, many adults still stared even, but the way the girl was looking at her, so intensely, she fought the urge to squirm under her gaze. Maybe she shouldn’t have come, maybe she would frighten the children, maybe she-
“You’re Miss Weems,” the girl said softly, as if the name was sacred. Larissa furrowed her brows a bit, titling her head at the girl.
“I am, yes, it’s nice to meet you, Lorraine?” She asked, and the girl nodded, utterly mystified.
“Wait!” She said, before running up to you. “Can I go get Issa?” She asked sweetly, and you smiled down at her.
“She can meet Issa later, I promise.” You said, and the girl nodded before going back to Larissa.
“You’re like me!” She said, bouncing slightly. “I- and- and Miss Mirella says if I work really hard I can go to school like she does, and like you did, and wow, you’re very pretty, I wish I could do my hair like that.” The girl rambled. “Oh! Miss Mirella showed me a picture of you once! And- and I can do the lips- look!” She said, making a big smile as she turned her lips bright red, making you laugh a little and Mirella beam.
“Well done Lorraine.” She praised, and Larissa looked down in amazement. She was silent for a moment, unsure. The last thing she expected was for the children to know who she was, for them to want to mimic her no less, it was as if her mind had stopped working for a moment.
Her whole life she had been told she should be ashamed of what she was, her whole life she had been forced to confront it, she had worked as hard as she could to create a place where children wouldn’t have to go through what she had, and here- here she was a hero for it.
“I- they’re perfect.” She said softly, her voice trembling, and the girl beamed, reaching for her hand and pulling her to the bed, sitting her down and hopping next to her, the rest of them rushing in and sitting at her feet.
“Miss Mirella says you were the first one of us to go to Cambridge!” One said.
“Do you really run a school?” Another asked.
“And you went to an outcast school for all the different kinds!” One yelled.
“Can you tell us about your school?” One asked.
“Are there other shifters at the school?” Another added, and so on and so on. You laughed a little as the woman was bombarded with questions, a warm smile on your face as you watched her be completely flummoxed by it.
“Girls, let her breathe.” You chuckled, and little Lorraine gave you a look.
“But- she’s like- she’s the one .” The girl almost pouted, and you smiled more, shaking your head.
“Good lord, it’s like there’s a prophecy.” You teased happily, bending down and picking up the four year old tugging at your skirt, holding her gently on your hips.
“I missed you.” She said, in her soft little voice, curling up on your shoulder. You looked to Mirella, who helped you wrap a soft, thin scarf around your neck so the girl could lay on you without your skin touching.
“I missed you too Grace.” You said softly, rocking the girl gently, watching Larissa smile and answer all the questions the small gaggle of girls threw at her with a smile full of wonder on her face.
The older few hung back, watching the woman in amazement. The younger ones bounced and sat at her feet, looking up at her as if she was a fairytale come to life. Perhaps she was. You knew you couldn’t understand it, not in the way they felt it. She was proof. Undeniable proof that there was hope, that they could become anything they wished. She had done it, she was a respected woman, a woman that was adored and trusted, and she was just like them.
“You don’t get it, Miss Ophelia! She’s like us! But she- but she’s amazing!” Lorraine argued, and you chuckled.
“You’re amazing too, my dear.” You smiled, and she shook her head. Another spoke up, older, maybe fifteen or so.
“But you can’t point at someone and say ‘I want to be like her, look at how far she went’ and know that they’re just like you.” Violet explained, and the smile on your face saddened a bit, yet you nodded.
“You’re right, I can’t claim to know the feeling.” You said calmly, and Mirella looked at Violet, a twitch of frustration on her face.
“Miss Ophelia can’t, Violet, because there aren’t others like her.” The girl warned, and Violet blushed in embarrassment.
“Sorry Miss Ophelia.” She said, and you shook your head.
“No worried my dear, and that’s not entirely true, there are other plant-manipulating outcasts.” You offered, “Dryads, nymphs and the like.” You listed, and Mirella looked at you almost pitifully.
“Not like you.” She said, even catching Larissa’s attention for a moment in the chaos. She had never thought of that before. She had a classification, but you, you had your abilities, yet you defied any classification she could think of.
Eventually, Lorraine, in all her six year old glory climbed up onto the bed next to Larissa, just looking up at her face.
“You’re very pretty.” She said softly, and Larissa chuckled, a smile breaking out across her face, complete with a little nose scrunch that nearly made you melt on the spot.
“Thank you my dear, so are you.” She smiled, and Lorraine blushed, looking to you and hiding her face.
“Miss Ophelia?” She asked, and you nodded towards her, not trusting your voice to not break at the scene before you.
“Will you stay?” She asked, talking about the both of you.
You gasped, your eyes rolling back into your head. Mirella was behind you in a second, taking Grace from your arms with one hand while bracing your back with the other, you didn’t go down, it was quick, flashes of things, and a question, the same question, years ago.
You were sitting at the vanity, watching Georgianna hold a much younger Mirella in her arms, the girl only six then, crying as she looked at you. Larissa became Georgianna, Lorraine became Mirella, and you were the same. You stayed the same, as you lost the woman on the bed, as the child became an adult carrying scars you wished you could erase, facing prejudice you prayed would spare her without you by her side.
“Will you stay?” Mirella asked the both of you, knowing you would have to go again soon, you would go out on another call, and the chance you wouldn’t come back lingered in the air, even when you had just gotten home.
“I- we can’t.” Was what you had said before, and as you opened your eyes again, and Georgianna once again became Larissa, you felt your heart slam into your throat, threatening to choke you. Tears came to your eyes, your breath was stolen as you stared at the woman as if she had struck you.
“Mmm,” you hummed, swallowing down the lump in your throat and sniffing back the tears, looking to Lorraine. “We have to leave tonight, after the garden, but, but I promise I’ll come back soon, and if Miss Weems can come, I’ll ask her too.” You said, and she pouted, but nodded, seemingly not too perturbed by you having a vision.
“Did you have an awake dream again?” Another one, Eliana, asked you, and you swallowed, nodding your head.
“Yes, just a little one.” You said softly, laughing a bit at yourself, making both Mirella and Larissa look at you in concern.
“Come on girls, let’s go get ready.” One of the older ones said, pulling the other ones away and ushering them out of your room, much to the disappointment of both Grace and Lorraine.
“I’ll see you later, I promise, and Miss Weems is staying too, until tonight.” You promised, finally getting Grace to let go of your skirt and Lorraine to hop down, following Lotte, one of the older girls, back down to their floor.
The second the door shut you turned, bracing your hands on the vanity and leaning down to take a few deep breaths.
Larissa was on her feet, coming over to comfort you in a moment, but you held your hand out, stopping her before she touched you.
“No.” You nearly choked, and she froze, stepping back in almost shock. Mirella took her hand, leading her back a step and sitting on the bed with her, pulling her down and whispering to her.
“It’s ok, I’m sure you know how hard touch is for her, you know it’s not you.” She said softly, and Larissa swallowed. You hadn’t pushed her back before. You hadn't rejected her help, and it terrified her that she couldn’t help.
“I’ve seen her react to them before, but she’s never- she’s always allowed me to help.” She said softly, and Mirella shook her head.
“You can’t help with this one.” She said. “I think the only thing that will help with this one is time.” She grimaced, and the woman looked to her.
“You saw it?” She asked, and Mirella nodded.
“If they’re strong enough she can transfer through clothes, technically any touch will do it, but yes, I saw it.” She whispered, and Larissa swallowed.
“I can’t imagine what could be worse than what I’ve already-“
“She saw you.” Mirella cut her off, and Larissa’s eyes went wide, her head snapping to the girl. “She saw Georgiana, sitting in the exact spot you are now, fourteen years ago.” She explained. “It’s interesting, you know, Georgiana never had children, but there was always a girl she was looking for, a relative, I think. A shifter, like she was. It’s strange how much it hurts Ophelia to compare the two of you, it’s almost like there’s something there.” She said knowingly, clearly having her own theories but not letting on.
“I can hear you, you know?” You grumbled from the corner, and both women looked at you.
“Is she related to Georgianna?” Mirella asked you, and you took in a deep breath.
“That or the woman is trying to fucking torture me.” You mumbled under your breath before you turned, fixing the hair that had fallen in your face. “I don’t know. But it’s likely.” You said, and both women teared at you.
“You mean that night, when my aunt visited you, that she was-“ Larissa started, and you shook your head.
“I don’t know.” You sighed, exhausted. “I wish I could tell you definitively, I wish I had the answers, but I just don’t know!” You rushed, the words spilling out of you as if you had been holding them back for ages. “It seems that way! Or whatever controls the goddamn things I see would like me to think you are! I don’t know!” You yelled, almost expelling it all from you. You sighed deeply, sniffing and trying to blink away the tears that were threatening to come to your eyes before a knock sounded at the door.
You couldn’t cry yet, tonight, after it was over, you could cry, but for now, you had to be strong.
You cleared your throat, wiping the front of your dress from imaginary dust and standing up straight before nodding to yourself.
“Come in.” You called, and the door opened to reveal Jenkins in a black suit, his wild red hair pulled back, and his beard sorted. He looked between the two women staring in shock on your bed and your slightly reddened face, furrowing his brows in worry.
“If there’s anyway I can help lass…” he offered, and you shook your head, cutting him off before he could go any further. You could deal with pain, with brutality, but comfort, softness, it would break you.
“Please I just, I just want to get through today.” You sighed once more, plastering a neutral look on your face before looking to Larissa. “I’ll figure it out, in time, but please, not today.” You said softly, and the woman nodded, standing and coming to you. She couldn’t take this. She couldn’t stand how you forced yourself to be an island, bearing the endless onslaught of waves of pain alone. The child had died at your facility, so you bore the weight of it. She had contacted you when the bleeding had started, you had dismissed it. You would force yourself to take the weight of that alone, but she would do everything she could to help you.
“May I?” She asked, glancing down at your glove covered hand, and you swallowed, taking a deep breath before nodding, offering your hand, which she wrapped around her arm gently. She leaned in close, close enough that the other two in the room wouldn’t hear as she whispered in your ear. “Lean on me, I know how much you're hurting, give me some of the weight, just for today.” She whispered, and you could have sobbed.
Instead you just looked away, staring off in the distance, your eyes shining before you closed them for a moment before nodding, lightly running your fingers over her arm before looking to Jenkins, who took Mirella’s hand.
“Ready?” He asked you, and you nodded.
“As ready as I ever am to bury a child.” You sighed, and the four of you left the room in silence. Larissa walked with you through the halls, back down to the first floor, and out into the large garden, where nearly one hundred children were standing and sitting, all looking towards a table in the center which held a singular, solitary urn.
Her heart faltered as she realized why they were cremated, there simply wouldn’t be enough space if they weren’t. The four of you made your way to the front of the crowd, low murmurs rising when the children saw you, or Larissa.
Looking around, she could see many more now, there were boys, but they were few compared to the girls making up the place. And while many of the children were identifiably siren or vampire, many more she couldn’t tell, yet many, many, she instantly knew were shifters. It was as if everything happened in a haze, children stared at her in hope, at you with love and longing, having missed you for months, yet the reason you had returned was this. The reason you came back was death.
You let go of her arm, walking up to the table and standing behind it, looking to the crowd.
You had rescued many of these children yourself, and many of them had already seen more death and pain than a hardened soldier, but that still didn’t make it easier. Loss was loss, no matter how accustomed you all were, and to loose someone here, to loose someone where you could have prevented it, it hit you hard. You swallowed down your grief, taking a breath before you spoke.
“It’s been a while since I’ve been home, and I wish this wasn’t the reason I came back.” You said calmly, and Larissa looked to you.
She had seen you teach before, and that was captivating, but the way you held the attention of nearly one hundred children on the verge of tears was something she thought only the great orators of the past could understand.
“This is our home, it is a home that a woman like many of you built with little more than her dream of a world where none of us would go to bed frightened, wondering if we would see our friends, our siblings, our family, when we woke.” You swallowed. “I wish I could tell you that once inside these walls, you were safe, that the fight ends there, but all of you know it does not. There is not a single person here who doesn’t have to fight. You fight to live, to breathe, to wake up in the morning and to see another day.” You said, your words taking on a power that left Larissa speechless. “You fight to be able to use your abilities, to be able to be open about what you can do, to just survive, and I am so incredibly proud of each and every one of you.” You prided. “I am amazed every day at how far so many of you have come.” You smiled sadly. “You have lost friends, and family, and many people you love,” you managed, your voice wavering slightly for the first time, something only Larissa and Jenkins caught, the both of them wishing they could wrap you up and shelter you in that moment. “And today many of you have lost a friend once again.” You said as gently as you could, taking the urn and moving to a patch of garden covered in flowers. “Serena was a bright girl, she was kind, and very strong, like many of you.” You said, uncapping it. “We will all miss her,” you breathed, leaving a moment of silence as you stared down at the urn in your hands. You said goodbye silently. You apologized to her, praying that she could forgive you for failing her, praying that her pain was over, and apologizing again and again that you couldn’t stop it. It was only after you finished your silent goodbye that you spoke again.
“But we have to remember, we keep fighting. No matter what, we get up another day.” You swallowed, pouring the ashes into the flowers, flicking your fingers to make them bloom brighter.
The children didn’t know the ashes would make the ground acidic, turning it barren if you didn’t modify the plants PH. You had created plants to feed on their ashes, a horror made to take death and turn it to life. It was a disgusting creation, plants made to feed off the ashes of children, and yet, it was the only gift you could give so many of them.
“The fact that you are alive means that you have won, against many horrible odds, every day, and now each of you carries a small piece of someone who this world took too soon with you.” You said, your voice softened with grief. You turned back to the children, holding the urn to you. “So for each of your friends that you have lost, your families, those you have loved,” You began. “For Serena, you live.” You said, silence settling for a moment. “Live.” You repeated, and Larissa watched somewhere between horror and amazement as every child and adult, every little body stood up straighter, nodding and agreeing as if they had pride, a pride to carry, to be proud of living, to be proud of what they were. It was beautiful, and strong, and so incredibly tragic.
You went back into the crowd, and it disbursed some, children gathering to go back down, many staying up. The silence stayed for a while, the gray atmosphere choking for an hour or so. For an hour, the garden was silent except for tears and sniffles, and she stood on the side as she watched all of you sit in the grief, yet, it began to change.
They formed little groups to talk or to even… play games, she noticed. Children were playing games.
Then one, a siren, was singing, and another joined her, then another, a girl brought out a tambourine and before she knew it the whole garden was filled with music and playing, filled with laughter and smiles when remembering the girl that had died. It was filled with life.
She looked to where you were standing with Jenkins and talking seriously about something, the exhaustion showing a bit more now that the attention was off you. You were beautiful, so tragically beautiful. She was sure you were speaking about some mission or the logistics of this place, working even now, and from the understanding look in his eyes, he was doing his best to let it distract you. She wanted to hold you, to keep you safe, but she didn’t know this girl, she didn’t know any of these people, and for now, all she wanted to do was stand to the side and watch somewhere we’re her kind were… celebrated.
She didn’t even notice Mirella coming up beside her until the girl spoke.
“You look at her like you love her.” She said, and Larissa jumped, looking to the girl in worry. That wasn’t something the two of you had discussed. The word had stayed locked away, far too real, far too powerful for two beings who had known so much pain in their lives. Love was a word that meant pain in the future to both of you. Love was something to be ripped away, or used against you, yet the both of you danced around it with each other, horrified by it, and spinning closer with every breath.
“I-“
“it’s a good thing.” Mirella decided, and Larissa raised her brows, still unable to find her words. “Not enough people love her, especially when she’s as wonderful as she is.” She said, and Larissa nodded her head, recovering and forming some sort of understanding with the girl.
“You love her.” She said, and Mirella nodded.
“Everyone here loves her, but not in the way that you do.” She said. “Jenkins and I, Sugar maybe, we love her deeply, but you, you can give her something none of us can.” The girl sighed, wise beyond her years. “You can give her love that will help her see how much she deserves it.” Mirella said, handing Larissa a glass before walking away, going to interfere with some children causing a riot.
Larissa looked down at the glass, it looked like wine, however drinking alcohol at a child’s wake had to be against some sort of decorum.
“It’s wine, and you should drink it.” A woman said, adjusting her glasses as she walked up to Larissa, seemingly following Mirella’s attempt to make sure she wasn’t alone while your work pulled you away. Larissa looked to you for a moment, and you nodded slightly, liking between her and the woman next to her.
So you had sent her then, even when you couldn’t be next to her, you wouldn’t leave her alone, and Larissa looked to the woman next to her with a feeling of warmth settling instead of the apprehension growing inside her.
She had blonde hair, loosely wavy, likely from being wrapped in a bun constantly, but down for now. She wore black, like everyone, but her pants had small bits of embroidery at the bottom, similar to the lab coat Larissa had once seen on her.
“Dr. Moss.” Larissa greeted, and the woman nodded, staring at her intensely through her glasses.
“Quite right, Miss Weems, but you can just call me Moss, most people here do, anyway.” She sighed, standing next to the woman and looking at the crowd. “Drink, it’s alright.” She said easily, and Larissa looked at her wearily.
“I was told you may read my mind, however that was only if you were worried I may harm the children here.” She said, and Moss chuckled.
“Oh, I’m not, but I also know you wouldn’t harm any children here, that is not why we’re worried.” She said easily, and Larissa swallowed.
“Am I a cause for concern?” She asked the doctor, who spared her a glance over the rim of her glasses before looking back at the crowd, ignoring her question.
“Did you know some mind readers can see a shifter’s natural state by looking at them?” She asked, fully ignoring Larissa’s question.
Larissa’s eyes went wide, very aware that she wasn’t exactly wearing anything other than her underwear at the moment if she completely unshifted.
“Oh, not like that Miss Weems, I wasn’t looking at you.” Moss continued, and the woman stood slightly straighter. It was unnerving, having a conversation with someone who could predict her every thought, who knew what she would say before she said it. “I wasn’t particularly close to Georgianna, if you want to learn more about her ask Ophelia or Jenkins, Mirella even, but unlike them I do know what she looked like.” She said mysteriously, making Larissa’s breath hitch, if she was talking about what she thought she was… “You have her eyes. They’re very beautiful.” She said, before walking off completely, leaving her alone once more.
Larissa’s mind was reeling, so it was true then? Her aunt Victoria was Georgianna. The woman who had been the only safety she had known until she left completely for Nevermore was the very same woman who had raised you, who had created this whole place.
She looked around in amazement, at the children laughing and dancing, at those who worked here with you doing their best to smile as they cared for them. Wine was poured, life went on, and this was what her aunt had done.
Larissa hadn’t told anyone where she was going, and when she tried to get in contact with her aunt years later, it was like the woman had disappeared, almost as if… as if she had become someone else.
She felt a large presence walk up next to her, and turned to see Jenkins handing her a flask, his eyes still fixed on where you were sitting, under a willow tree, on a bench, children scattered at your feet as you laughed and talked with them, despite the clear strain in your eyes.
“Ya look like ya may need this more than I do, Miss.” He offered, and Larissa took the flask from him, sniffing at it.
“Whisky, scotch whisky, it’s what yer aunt drank too.” He sighed, and Larissa looked to him wide eyed.
“So it’s true!” She breathed, and he nodded, but grimaced when he looked at you.
“She’s tearin’ herself up about it, but aye, it’s true.” He sighed. “Georgie never told her, after she was found, she treated Philly like her own, but believe me when I say she never gave up on you, Lass.” He sighed. “She didn't find ya ‘til you were seventeen, the same year we got Phil, but by then, the lot of us were being hunted down, and you were makin yer way.” He said as gently as he could. “Ta bring ya inta this, she never woulda taken that risk.” He said, looking to you almost sadly.
It settled on Larissa like a sledgehammer. Her aunt would never risk her life. But she had risked yours.
“But she would with her,” Larissa breathed, her heart breaking. Jenkins nodded.
“She loved ya, but she couldn’t risk ya gettin’ hurt.” He sighed, shifting his weight slightly. The vampire was nervous, she realized, in surprise.
“Is that why- is that why Ophelia can’t stand the thought…” she trailed. You nearly sobbed when you had seen her sitting in the same place her aunt- that Georgianna had once sat, and here she was. She could never measure up to that, she could never even come close to the woman who had saved your life, who had given you everything-
“It’s because she feels like she’s betrayin’ the woman who raised ‘er.” Jenkins interrupted her. “Georgie gave up contact with ya ta keep ya safe from this life, Philly cares about you- I’ve never seen her like this with anyone, hell, she’s never brought anyone home, that’s fer damn sure- but she’s cuttin’ herself up inside fer bringin’ ya into this.” He sighed, shaking his head as you looked up at the tree you were under, making it bloom, much to the excitement of the children around you.
“But I- she- is it not my choice?” Larissa asked him, and he sighed.
“Aye, it is. But it’s one she gave ya by showin it to ya.” He sighed, looking to you sadly. He was silent for a moment before looking to her strangely. “Hmm, ye play piano, don’t ye?” He asked, and she furrowed her brows, looking to him.
“I can, I haven't in a very long time.” She protested, before he smiled, taking her arm and leading her to a sunroom.
He opened the doors to the garden to reveal a massive grand piano, rich old wood, beautifully embellished with golden paint, Larissa froze as she recognized it.
“That was- that’s my aunt’s piano.” She swallowed, her eyes tearing up as she went to it slowly, sitting at the bench almost like she was in a trance. Her hands traced the keys reverently, slowly going over the antique.
“Phil can play, but she won’t, not anymore. Mirella plays it sometimes, but I think yer the one it’s meant for.” He sighed, and Larissa looked up to him with tears in her eyes. She just looked right at it, in the same way Georgianna always did, and he could see it the moment he met her.
“Thank you.” She whispered, and he just shook his head, a slight smile on his face.
“Don’t thank me! Play!” He laughed, taking a seat in a chair on the edge of the garden, looking from you to her before she began.
Larissa swallowed, her aunt had taught her to play, and she still did, on occasion, when her mind couldn’t focus on anything, but it had been a while since she had truly, truly played, and decades since she had a piano as beautiful as her aunt’s to play.
She started slow and soft, a few notes just to test the weight of the keys, yet it felt as familiar to her as her own hands. She smiled as she remembered the feeling, remembered her aunt sitting next to her, playing duets with her, teaching her kindly, encouraging her, and she played. She began to truly play, the melodies floating from her as if she was a conduit for some great force even she couldn’t comprehend. She began to lose herself in the music, symphony after symphony falling from her fingertips, sonatas and concertos, melodies she had long since forgotten, or so she thought, returning without a moment’s hesitation.
She didn’t notice the children crowding around the doors to the sunroom, nor did she notice the afternoon becoming evening, nor did she feel your eyes on her, filled with tears, as you watched her play, just like Georgianna.
You knew, in that moment you knew.
Georgianna had been sending you dreams, showing you visions, but to you, this, this was proof. More than anything else, just the way Larissa played, was proof.
Mirella came up to you, asking for your hand through the glove, which you gave, not noticing the way her eyes flitted to your hair, full of forget me not’s as the woman you loved played. Not once did you move, you barely breathed, and yet the vines around the trellis over the sunroom doors bloomed a mixture of burgundy, light pink, and white roses. You were in a trance, watching her, and your ability told her things you did not have the words to say.
It must have been a few hours before Larissa stopped, looking down at the keys in amazement, running her hands over the fall board, over the ivory she knew from childhood.
You didn’t have words, so you clapped.
Larissa jumped, her eyes widening when she realized the entire garden was watching her, and you, you were standing just a few feet from the open doors, your eyes teary as you clapped, the rest of them joining in after the shock had worn away.
Her breath caught in her throat, but she smiled, waving off the applause she was greeted with as a few children hopped up to her, one even sitting on her lap and taking her hand, asking if she was magic. She laughed at the question, they all were.
A few little ones showed the few songs they could play, Chopstics, Twinkle Twinkle Little Star, Frère Jaques, a few others, all of them carefully plunking notes on the old piano, Larissa laughing and smiling, helping a few of them through a song or two, and playing a few requests quite easily.
You watched every interaction with a loving smile, and tears hiding in your eyes.
After a while, she heard Jenkins calling her name, and turned to find the man taking his fiddle from Mirella, who had gotten her own cello and a violin for you as well. She handed yours to you, and you hummed, taking the bow and sliding it over the instrument.
“Greensleeves?” Jenkins asked, and Larissa nodded, slightly mystified by you quickly tuning up the instrument.
“Of course,” She murmured, her eyes never leaving you. The way your fingers, even gloved, slid over the strings was something to behold, and her breath caught in her throat as the setting sun reflected on your auburn hair, almost making it look as if you were on fire.
“Aye! Phil! Quit distractin’ the lady and play!” He yelled, and you scoffed, but smiled at the both of them, diving into a quick rendition of Greensleeves which had the other three laughing as they tried to keep up.
“Oh feck off.” Jenkins scoffed under his breath, making Larissa laugh as she easily kept pace with you. Mirella laughed, playing easily with the both of you as Jenkins glared. “Yer rude!” He yelled, and you bowed, still playing, before you did something that had Larissa nearly unable to play.
You danced.
You began leading the children around the garden, skipping and twirling easily as you played, laughing along and keeping up with the next song, and the next, as the four of you played for another hour or so, until the little ones were little more than a pile on the grass, and the adults were all worn out from the day. You had worn them out, making them forget how much they missed their friend, only leaving tired smiles in your wake.
The sun had long since set, the lights around the house and in the garden, many lanterns and a few warm floodlights the only reason they weren’t left in the dark. She watched as you said goodnight to each one, many of them stopping to say goodnight to her before they went back into the house, her brows furrowing as she thought.
It made sense that the manor could fit them, but she had no idea where the rest of them could be, if it contained over three hundred children and various labs and operating rooms, she had no idea how it would all fit, not to mention the fact that you had implied different types of outcasts could have their own floors, meaning while the four floor Manor was still massive, it couldn’t account for how many children you should have. She watched curiously as they all disappeared into the house, eventually leaving you, Jenkins, Moss, Mirella, Sugar, and a few others in the garden.
She stood from the piano, unsure what to do, until another person ran out from the house, saying that everyone was accounted for and on their floors. Larissa shook her head, walking to you.
“How do you house so many? Children, I mean.” She asked, and you hummed, nodding for a moment. You looked at her, seemingly deciding something. “
The house has been here a long time, there’s more to it than it seems.” You said softly, your eyes clouded with worry for a moment. You wouldn’t tell her, she realized. You had already revealed so much, but this, exposing exactly where the children were, you couldn’t do. You felt your face heat up in fear, a nauseous feeling coming over you as you looked away in worry. “I- I’m sorry- it’s-“
“Its alright.” She said softly, and you looked up at her uncertain.
“I wish I could tell you everything,” you whispered, and she froze. “I’d give you my life, but I can’t give theirs.” You swallowed, and her eyes went wide. You- you trusted her that much? You, who didn’t let anyone close. You, who wouldn't even let people touch your skin, would trust her with your life? It shocked her to her very core, freezing her.
Jenkins came up behind you, standing next to you and looking down, making you look to him to make up for the fact that he was so close.
“Pardon me, Miss Weems, but I’m afraid we have a tradition to follow.” He said, as politely as he could, extending his hand to you. You sighed almost sadly,
“I’m sorry,” you said to her quickly, and she watched in confusion as you took his hand through your gloves as he led you to the center of the open space in front of the sun room, between the garden proper and the house. He looked to Moss, who opened a dresser in the sunroom, revealing a massive radio system. She hit a few buttons, and the lights in the garden went out, leaving everyone in the dark for a moment. She then flipped a switch, and fairy lights came to life all through the garden, making Larissa gasp. It was like magic.
They were wound around trees, dangling from branches and lighting up leaves, little path lights here and there. It was enough to see by, but left the area largely dark. It was, comforting, almost. Larissa understood the bright lights were necessary when the children were out, losing track of anyone was a nightmare, yet when they went to bed, it became almost another world.
She watched as you went to the step up into the sunroom, kicking off your shoes and pulling off your stockings, something that everyone was seemingly accustomed to, but had her blushing despite the potential mortification of being revealed doing so.
She heard a small laugh and turned to see Moss, giving her a look before she looked back at you, her eyes saddening as she seemingly took something else in.
Larissa blushed furiously. Moss had just caught her, staring at you, and thinking about how silky those stockings were, and how beautiful your legs were in them, about how much she wanted to be the one taking them off you. She choked, worry flooding her.
Of all times, now! Now she had been caught ogling you- it would be no wonder if Moss thought she was disgusting, and she would tell everyone, then you would know. You would know that as you had invited her into your home, as you mourned the death of a child, she thought about your body, she thought about how you-
‘ Its alright’ she heard in her mind, and Larissa jumped, her head snapping to Moss, who still wasn’t looking at her. That was certainly the blonde’s voice, but clearly she hadn’t said a word, meaning-
‘Yes, I’m using telepathy, however I’m not going to judge you for finding her beautiful, Ophelia is, everyone thinks knows it.’ She said gently, the tones almost warmer sounding when in Larissa’s mind. You were beautiful, she thought, but the last thing she should be thinking about at a child’s funeral was your stockings.
‘I don’t blame you, attraction is attraction, it’s natural. It’s almost nice, actually, to know that you look at her that way without wanting to own her, to force it from her.’ Moss seemed to sigh, and Larissa looked from her to you, back to her in worry. She would never force you, ever, hell it may be natural to be thinking about you, but she would never even take your hand without your permission, the idea of forcing you to do anything else made her throat tighten. You had already been through so much, even now, you were going through so much, the fact that she was even thinking of that cut her like-
‘She’s thinking of you too, you know.’ Moss hummed, and Larissa’s eyes widened. You looked sad, tired and sad as you stood, walking around the garden to the old willow tree for one more moment. ‘She’s saddened by it, worried that she feels the way she does about you because of her, or worse, she’s done the one thing Georgianna- Victoria, spent her life trying to make sure would never happen.’ Moss said, and Larissa felt her eyes fill with tears as you knelt at the tree, whispering something to the roots, your body shuddering slightly with your breath, something she knew you to do only when you were trying not to cry. ‘She brought you to our world.’ Moss said sadly, her hand hovering over another button. You kissed the trunk of the Willow as you got up, your knees and the hem of your dress slightly sullied.
You looked to Larissa a moment, the red rim around your eyes giving you away before you nodded to Moss tearfully, and she clicked the button.
Music began to play, a slow song, a xylophone like instrument playing over an electric guitar being plucked. Jenkins took your gloves hands, and you sighed shakily, trying not to cry as he slowly led you in a slow dance, leading you gently, like a father would his daughter on her wedding day. Yet instead of white, you wore black, and instead of happy tears in your eyes, you tried not to sob as he danced gently with you. The words of the song blaring through speakers all throughout the glowing garden.
A heart that's full up like a landfill
A job that slowly kills you
Bruises that won't heal
You look so tired, unhappy
Bring down the government
They don't, they don't speak for us
I'll take a quiet life
A handshake of carbon monoxide
Larissa’s eyes filled with tears as she took it in. The song, she knew it was a popular one, some band called Radiohead, she believed. It was as if the song was written for you, and it broke her heart.
Your job, this job, would likely kill you someday, every time your bruises healed, new ones would come, your body was covered in scars. You looked exhausted, heartbroken, and here you were fighting a world that would forever harm your kind, her kind, all of you.
You had spoken about it once, about how you wished for a quiet life, to be a normal teacher, to watch students grow up happy and safe, and get this, this was your reality.
And no alarms and no surprises
No alarms and no surprises
No alarms and no surprises
Silent, silent
Jenkins spun you around to the song, the sad lyrics contradicting the strangely uplifting sound of the music. Maybe that was why this one was chosen, but it just made every word hurt more. You danced slowly, your feet bare in the grass, your eyes closing eventually, loosing yourself to the music.
This is my final fit
My final bellyache with
No alarms and no surprises
No alarms and no surprises
No alarms and no surprises, please
You would never leave this place, never abandon them. There was a reason you weren’t staying there now. You often traveled, setting up operations wherever you taught for a few months, using the teaching job as a cover, yet you had fled to the U.S. for an entirely different reason.
You couldn’t stay now, you were being hunted, and every second you were here you put them in danger. Until the man after you was delt with, your home would never be safe. Thankfully, that man hunted the medic. The medic had to disappear, Dr. Ophelia Florere had to go to America, for a while. It would keep the alarms off, it would keep the surprise away.
As long as the lights in the garden were golden, as long as the sounds were music and children’s voices, as long as surprises were birthday cakes and ice cream dinners, you would be ok. You would be ok missing your home, desperate to return since you left.
Such a pretty house
And such a pretty garden
Tears streamed down your face in a mixture of grief and releif as Jenkins spun you.
“They’re ok lass, we’re all ok.” He whispered in your ear, and you nodded through your tears, leaning on his chest as he wrapped one arm around your shoulder blade, under your arm, holding your other hand through your glove. “We’re alright.”
No alarms and no surprises (get me out of here)
No alarms and no surprises (get me out of here)
No alarms and no surprises, please (get me out of here)
The playoff came and went, and he was still holding you upright, letting you sway on your tired feet with his support.
‘Go to her.’ Larissa heard in her mind, and she choked back her tears, watching the scene, watching your exhaustion, your need for comfort so few could give to you overwhelming you. Jenkins wouldn’t touch your skin, even Mirella made sure to stay over fabric.
“I can’t, she- I can’t interrupt this, this is her family.” Larissa muttered, not even realizing she was speaking aloud. Moss looked at her, but Larissa’s eyes never left you, a tear slipping down her face at everything.
‘Please, Miss Weems, she needs you, go to her.’ Was all Moss said in response, and Larissa looked to her, her hands shaking and her throat closed up.
Moss nodded, her own eyes lined with tears. Whatever she had seen in your mind was horrific enough to make the doctor suffer.
Larissa didn’t know much of Moss, but she knew the woman stitched up dying children, she saw into their minds, she saw their pain after being through horrors Larissa couldn’t imagine, and she was crying. Whatever was happening in your mind made her cry.
Larissa smoothed her hands over her dress nervously, swallowing and taking her heels off, letting her feet settle onto the grass. It tickled slightly, but she could barely feel it as she walked towards you slowly, almost in a trance, as the next song began.
Sunlight comes creeping in
Illuminates our skin
We watch the day go by
Stories of all we did
It made me think of you
It made me think of you
Larissa looked to Jenkins over your shoulder, your eyes still closed as you leaned your head on the man’s chest, tears beginning to stain his shirt. She looked at him with utter determination, her face soft with something even the jaded man could only call love.
He stared her down for a moment, almost threateningly, yet she stood her ground. Eventually the threatening aura faded away to reveal his worry for you. You often blamed yourself, but this was bad, this was worse than you had been in a while. You blamed yourself for every moment that you weren’t there, and this, loosing a child, in the home, it was bad.
The man relented as she lifted her chin, she wasn’t going anywhere, if you needed her, she was there. This was her place, with you. He took a deep sigh, leaning down and whispering something in your ear. Larissa watched as you lifted your head up, opening your reddened eyes and blinking blearily at her.
Under a trillion stars
We danced on top of cars
Took pictures of the stage
So far from where we are
They made me think of you
They made me think of you
“May I?” She asked softly, and you couldn’t even speak, you couldn’t think, there was just the music, the garden, and the woman in front of you asking for a dance. Jenkins let you go, and the cool of the night air wrapped around you, making you shiver.
“ Larissa ,” you breathed, your knees almost buckling with all this took out of you. The woman’s arms were around you in a moment, holding you up. You gasped, and her hand slipped around your back, landing on your waist and holding you securely as her other hand held yours. She looked to your glove and you swallowed.
Oh lights go down
In the moment we're lost and found
I just wanna be by your side
If these wings could fly
For the rest of our lives
“Let me hold your hand, Ophelia.” She said softly. It wasn’t a question, yet it wasn’t a demand. She was leaving no room for doubt, but she would never force you.
You just nodded, your head collapsing against her chest, all words lost. You had given everything holding yourself together today, making the children laugh and smile, celebrate the life of their friend, and you were stripped bare. You had nothing more to give, but she did. She had all the comfort in the world to give you. She had softness to wash away the guilt.
I'm in a foreign state
My thoughts they slip away
My words are leaving me
They caught an aeroplane
Because I thought of you
Just for the thought of you
She pulled your glove off slowly, laying that arm over her shoulder before taking your other hand, and pulling that glove off as well. Your skin was bare below your elbows, your scars on full display, your blackened fingers out in the night air, and then her hand was holding yours, her arm was around your waist again, holding you up, and you were leaning against her warm body, your hand able to feel her warm skin at her shoulder.
“Thank you,” you choked. It was all you could say, it was all you could manage as tears streamed down your face.
Oh lights go down
In the moment we're lost and found
I just wanna be by your side
If these wings could fly
“Ophelia, please, I want to be with you, you don’t have to thank me for that.” She whispered against your hair, kissing the top of your head as tears filled her eyes.
Oh damn these walls
In the moment we're ten feet tall
And how you told me after it all
We'd remember tonight
For the rest of our lives
She caught Jenkins’ eye as he danced with a similarly exhausted Mirella, him and Larissa sharing a moment across the garden as others joined in slowly. He stared at her intensely, his eyes almost cutting.
And he nodded.
‘Thank you.’ He mouthed. Larissa just shook her head, looking down at you with tears in her eyes. Even through them, love was shining through.
If these wings could fly
Oh lights go down
In the moment we're lost and found
I just wanna be by your side
If these wings could fly
Oh damn these walls
In the moment we're ten feet tall
And how you told me after it all
We'd remember tonight
For the rest of our lives
Notes:
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Chapter 24: And the Horrors at Home
Summary:
The rest of the evening at where you grew up makes you and Larissa realize just why her aunt never brought her here, as well as making you realize that bringing her might very well have been the worst thing you could do.
WARNING: Blood, Violence, Mentions of Sexual assault, Mentions of attempted impregnation, Harassment, student harassment, sexual harassment, intense guilt.
DISCLAIMER: Hello my darlings! Before you read this chapter I need you to know two things:
Firstly, there is a character in this chapter who does have Post Traumatic Stress Disorder and is violent, however in most cases of PTSD, that is not the case. The reason this individual is violent is because of the drugs repeatedly used on them during the experience that caused their PTSD, not the disorder itself.
Secondly, in this chapter, a person in a relationship strikes the person they are with as the both of them are in shock. In the real world, this is not ok, and never would be. A partner should not lay hands on you for ANY reason without your explicit permission, and everything here is dramatized for the sake of the story. Do not use this as an example of what relationships should be. This is fiction. Abuse is not love.
Notes:
Hello darlings! I’m back!!! I Hope you enjoy this chapter and please let me know what you think! So much love to anyone who tips or comments, you are what keeps me going and makes me able to keep product if content for you all!
-V
Kofi: https://ko-fi.com/miss_v_257
Discord: https://discord.gg/tcagJmGKN
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
“Those bright shining lights!” You yelled, staring up at the lights in the garden as you took yet another swig of whisky, lighting your pipe and taking the half of your hair you had pinned up down. “They’re shining so bright!” You sang, your hands winding up and around to the slow snare drum. “Casting a shadow, on all the simple things you used to own.” You sang, your words becoming little more than breath as you leaned back, exhaling the smoke as a dragon would, letting it swirl up into the sky.
Larissa looked at you worriedly, you had been dancing for hours, swaying to music as you downed well over what any person should be able to drink, not to mention the fact that you were lighting up another pipe.
“Is she-“
“Oh yeah, she’s gettin’ fecked.” Jenkins sighed, “She’ll be fine by morn’ this is nothin’ compared to what she ken take.” He sighed, lighting up his own pipe, full of tobbaco, unlike yours.
“What- what is it?” She asked, nodding to you.
“Opium, but blended, I think the night yer worried about she took three pipes o’ pure opium, the highest grade shit e’en she ken make.” He sighed sadly, watching you dance in the night. It was going on ten, meaning it was still five back at Nevermore, however if you were getting yourself stoned... “She ‘as her vices, I know, but we all do, aye?” He asked, and she sighed, leaning back against the wall next to him. “Aye! You reckon it’s time to relax a bit!” He nearly chuckled, despite the toll the day had clearly taken on him.
She was worried. She knew what you could do, and she knew you smoked, yet with the drugs, she worried. She had seen what they could do to you, the night you had come back from ‘clean up’ still haunting her. Yet they had also made it easier for you the night the two of you had, when you let her touch you. It terrified her, that perhaps that was why.
“Why does she smoke?” She asked Jenkins, and he grimaced. He liked her, but she was new. The fact that you would bring her here meant you trusted her more than he could imagine you trusting anyone, yet there were things she didn’t know, and things that worried him would be too much for a civilian, of sorts.
“Lassie, that’s- why she began is not fer the faint of ‘eart.” He said, and she swallowed, nodding, her eyes never leaving you.
You seemed to shine in the night lights, your eyes closed and the smoke floating up as she drank wine, giving the whole world another glow, making yours only multiply. You had asked her to dance with you, yet her hands barely strayed from your dress. Even now she knew you wouldn’t let her touch your bare skin, and the thought of what else you might be hiding worried her more than anything.
“Are you not telling me because it is hers to tell, or because you worry I cannot handle it?” She asked, and he raised his brow, nodding.
He was impressed by the woman, she handled this all graciously, she handled you with love, and clearly she handled herself with strength, and a sense of pride despite her pain, everything he knew she had been through. Everything he knew you could find out by simply opening a file, yet the fact that you refused to worried him. There were still things you didn’t know, things Georgianna and him had never told you, and there were reasons they hadn’t.
He recognized the strength, the willingness to put herself in front of a challenge, to step into the light in front of those who would tear her down. It was a trait directly from her aunt, and it made his own chest swell with pride, surprising him. He was proud of this woman he barely knew, grateful even, you had always been a wild thing. Incredibly bright, blindingly powerful, burningly passionate in your drive to help all those you could, yet you needed someone to ground your fire, someone who could steady you and keep you alight when you burned yourself up to keep others warm. It had always been Georgianna, and in exchange you had protected her fiercely, you had gone to the ends of the earth for her, and while you had managed since she died, he knew, he knew you could be so much greater, you could be happier, perhaps than you ever were. You just needed someone to ground you. Even Georgianna hadn’t mastered it, and while he was your protector, he knew he could only do so much. But Larissa, he had seen her touch your very skin. He had seen her hold you as if she would never let go, as if she never wanted to let go. Perhaps there was hope. The world saw you as a freak amongst freaks, but perhaps she wouldn’t.
“Yer strong.” He sighed. “You’ll need that, she’s a feckin force of nature.” He began. “She smokes fer a few reasons, she won’t take anything more than Opium now. Georgie ‘ad to wean her off Morphine, we ‘ad to curb th’ alcohol, she still drinks, but not like she used to.” He sighed. Larissa’s eyes went wide.
“She’s had two bottles of wine and a flask tonight!” Larissa hissed, and he chuckled a bit. If only she knew.
“I’ve seen ‘er drink six straight bottles a whisky, ‘er biology’s different, but by god that was still a feckin evenin’. ‘Avent seen ‘er that pissed since.” He chuckled a little at the end before sobering. What he was about to tell her… there was a reason you took the drugs you did, and there was a reason he was hesitant to tell her. “The morphine was for ‘er pain, we picked Philly up at seventeen, there wasn’t a bone In ‘er body not fractured, a few of ‘er ribs broken in several places, she was thinner than any kid I’ve seen since, they’d whipped ‘er, beaten ‘er, raped ‘er, injected the lass with shit that should ‘ave killed ‘er, but she was alive.” He swallowed, and Larissa went pale, a sick feeling settling in her stomach.
This was what it was then, this was your life. This was why those storm gray eyes always looked like they were hiding pain behind them.
“Georgie was strong, you know, yer stronger than ya look, aye?” He asked, and she swallowed, nodding, not quite sure how to speak. She always had something she could say, but now? Now she wasn’t sure. Shapeshifters were quite a bit stronger than their normie counterparts, something she knew to be true, but was still a little surprised at other knowing, even if he worked with them every day.
Every day, you all worked with children like her every day, she didn’t even know how to process that. Shapeshifters were rare, and to see so many, it was still shocking. He chuckled at the surprise on her face.
“Aye, a few o’ the wee ones try to fight when we bring them in. I’ve ‘ad a few bruised ribs in my time.” He laughed a little, and she smiled at that, even if her eyes saddened when she saw you again. Dancing, still dancing. “Oh, she’ll keep goin’ ‘til the exhaustion ‘its ‘er ‘eavy enough to pass out soon as she ‘its the pillow.” He explained, and she nooded.
“Yes I- I can get her to bed.” She said, and he paused for a moment, looking to her. He was tempted to admonish the woman, make her blush again, but he was touched. Helping you to bed was something only He or Georgianna ever did, but he supposed that yes, it would make sense for her to as well. Then again, she was worried you wouldn’t let her, after today. It had been so much on you, she knew that, she could see it, you could barely deal with her touch before, barely lay in a bed with her, and now… What if she wasn’t enough?
“She really trusts you.” Jenkins swallowed, his voice choked up for a minute. She looked at him in surprise, the man didn’t seem like the teary type, but he just nodded and sniffed before taking another puff of his cigar and continuing his story. “Georgie picked ‘er up, and she went into a vision right away, she can’t remember it, we had pumped the poor girl full of morphine so we could move ‘er.” He swallowed. “She said yer name, that’s why Georgie knew. That’s why Georgie kept ‘er close.” He sighed, closing his eyes. Larissa’s heart nearly stopped.
That long.
You had been that deeply connected to her that long? The idea blew her mind, how anyone, how you could have been connected to her that long, she couldn’t fathom. She remembered it, the hesitance in your eyes the day you had met her. She remembered feeling like she had known you forever so quickly, but had you actually known eachother?
“I’ve never heard someone break the way she begged Georgie to save ye.” He swallowed, shaking his head. “The kid’s dyin wish was to save a girl she never met. She couldn’t even think that she could be saved.” He managed, his eyes darkening even from their usual vampiric nature in horror.
Still, Larissa was frozen, unable to think. The pain you must have been in, it horrified her. How could she ever be there after that? How could she possibly help with that?
“The drugs dampen that. How much pain that child was in. An’ i can’t blame ‘er, not after hearin’ that.” He said, and Larissa was left in shock. “Now I am going to dance with our girl, because dancing’ alone is somethin’ she don’t ‘ave to do here. Although I’ve a feeling she won’t anywhere else far longer.” He smiled a bit, walking up to you and getting your attention, making you laugh a little, despite the tears, as you danced, the music blaring as everyone danced together, your hearts beating as one, and Larissa’s nearly frozen in shock.
Her.
You had screamed her name. You had begged for her safety. When you thought you were dead, you begged her aunt to save her. It was too much, all of this was too much. Then the world was spinning. Everything was spinning, the warm lights of the garden were suddenly too much, the music was too loud, everything was too much, the lights swelled into painful, almost scorching brightness, and then it was black, suddenly black, and she was standing alone in darkness, in a landscape of nothing.
She was alone, and it was cold, far too cold. Everything was wrong, and she was alone. Where were you? You were just in front of her, and now you were gone, suddenly gone and she was-
“It’s alright.” Someone said softly, and she froze. She knew that voice, that voice was… Larissa dropped to her knees at seeing her aunt in front of her, standing there, her long white hair flowing down her back, her delicate hands outstretched to the woman, sinking down to her knees next to Larissa. “It’s alright, I beleive you just got a little overwhelmed, my dear.” She offered, and Larissa just shook her head, unable to understand.
“How- how are you here? How is this-“ Victoria cut her off with a small chuckle.
“Ophelia is holding you, your body, I mean. We’re in her- well, this is a stretch of her ability, but you’re in the same place you go when she shows you visions.” The woman explained, kneeling down with Larissa, who just looked up at her, unable to speak.
“But- how- I-“ she couldn’t form a sentence. After all these years, after finding her gravestone, after finding out who she was, what she did, her aunt was sitting in front of her. “I love you.” Was all Larissa managed, and her aunt smiled, taking the woman’s face in her palm.
“I love you too my sweet girl. I’m so proud of you!” She whispered, choking up a bit.
“Proud? Proud! I ran! I ran away, and I- I didn’t try to find you until-“ Larissa was cut off when her aunt pulled her into her lap, holding her close. She couldn’t stay long, she knew she couldn’t stay long. This wasn’t what you were meant to do, and pushing a mild psychic to this level was dangerous, she knew that.
“Oh I wish we had more time.” She whispered, and Larissa clutched onto her arms.
“Please, don’t go, aunt Victoria, please,” she begged, and her aunt hissed in a breath, running her hands over her back.
“I can’t keep her in this state long, it’s not good for-“ She was cut off as suddenly her and her niece were no longer sitting in the seemingly endless space, but now a field of violets.
Her breath caught for a moment looking at the flowers, her hand dropping to brush over them. You couldn’t speak to them, but you always found a way to communicate. Larissa looked around herself in shock. It was beautiful, absolutely stunning, violets sprawling under a setting sun, as far as she could see.
“Violets,” Victoria said, her throat tightening a touch. “You always pushed yourself farther than you should for me, little flower.” She breathed softly, Larissa swallowing at the realization that you hadn’t just known her aunt, her aunt had known you.
“Can she hear us?” Larissa asked her aunt, unsure as to what was happening, but unwilling to let go of her aunt’s hand.
“Y-yes, violets mean loyalty, faithfulness, she’s saying she can handle it, that she, she’s telling me she can remain like this a while for us.” Victoria managed, and Larissa just stared at her. The way Victoria was acting, it was hesitant, uncertain. Larissa had always known her aunt to be willful and almost overflowing with life, and she only squeezed her hand tighter as why her aunt would hesitate.
“She’s- this is hurting her, isn’t it?” She asked, and Victoria nodded, her crystal blue eyes, the same as her niece, a little watery.
“It has to be.” She sighed, but just hugged her niece closer.
“We don’t have long, I have a feeling neither of us will let her harm herself.” She sighed, and Larissa looked up at her aunt. She had so much she wanted to say, it wasn’t fair. There was no way she could say it all so quickly. She hadn’t seen her since she was twelve, she needed time and, and so much more.
“I’m sorry, I’m sorry I didn’t look sooner.” She cried, and Victoria just held her closer.
“My darling, you wouldn’t have found me even if you did. It wasn’t your fault, none of it was your fault.” She breathed. Guilt flooded her. Victoria had done much in her time, she had saved many children, but there was one she never got the chance to. The reason it all began. “I’m sorry,” Victoria continued. “I’m sorry I couldn’t get you out of his house, I know what he did to you and I am so sorry my darling, I’m so sorry.” She repeated, and Larissa just shook her head, holding her aunt close. It didn’t matter to her. What mattered was that she was here now, and she got to see her, to say goodbye.
“No, no you did all you could, I know that.” She swallowed. “You made me feel loved.” She said, and she felt tears land on her shoulder as they fell from her aunt’s face, something that surprised her.
“I am so proud of all you’ve built, all you’ve become, you’re beautiful Larissa,” Victoria breathed, pulling back to look at her niece. The resemblance was striking, almost like looking in a mirror. “You’re incredible, you are strong, and intelligent, and so very kind, my little pixie.” She beamed, and Larissa chuckled as she wiped away a tear, the nickname making her heart ache.
“I’m not exactly little anymore,” she chuckled, and Victoria shook her head.
“You’ll always be a little girl to me.” She whispered. She hesitated for a moment, looking at her niece. There was so much she needed to tell her, but for now, she knew what mattered most. “I knew of Nevermore, and I followed your career up until my last day, my love, I’m so proud of you.” She said softly, and tears streamed down Larissa’s face. “So proud,” Victoria repeated. “I love you, pixie, so much.” She whispered as she kissed her niece’s forehead, leaving a tear behind as the vision began to dissipate.
“Wait!” Larissa called, grabbing her aunt’s hand. Her fellow shifter looked at her nervously, she really couldn’t force you to hold them both that long, certainly not when she was already gone from this world.
“I have to let her go, my love, this strain is-“
“Ophelia, she- does she-“ Larissa stuttered, unable to even figure out the question she wanted to ask. She wanted to know. She wanted to know why her aunt had raised you, trained you, shaped you into who you were, what were you like with eachother, what did Victoria think you and Larissa were to be? Victoria chuckled, shaking her head.
“Ophelia is pushing herself closer to the brink to let you speak to me, that’s what you must know about how she feels about both of us.” She said, and Larissa swallowed. “The two of you are connected in some way, yes, she has had visions of you since she was young, the connection she had to you is unquestionable, but it is a choice you both will make,” she explained. “Make that choice together, but I will love you both, regardless of what you choose.” She said, looking at Larissa, who just stared helplessly. Victoria chuckled, giving her one last squeeze. “I’m happy that the two girls I got to love know each other.” She said softly, kissing her forehead again as the light seemed to swell from the setting sun, the golden glow growing and growing until it eclipsed everything, and then Larissa was blinking awake, staring up at the lights in the garden and Jenkins, who was doing his best to be calm as he shouted orders, looking from her to something beside her.
He looked worried, something was wrong. Larissa couldn’t fully move yet, let alone figure out what was happening, but the Scotsman’s face contorted in worry and, and something more.
Moss was on her knees beside him, her body moving up and down, making Larissa feel as if the world was spinning, until she managed to look over, and her heart stopped.
You were laying on the ground next to her, having clearly fallen, your hand outstretched and your fingers millimeters from hers as your body pulsed with every compression Moss did on your chest.
Your heart had stopped.
Larissa went wide eyed, sitting up and crying out in horror. She immediately scrambled for you, only to feel Jenkins’ wide arm barring her from getting any closer.
“No- No! Ophelia!” She screamed your name, and Moss looked up angrily.
“Get her back!” She ordered, and Jenkins picked her up by the waist, pulling her away as your body shook with the compressions.
“No! No, please, please I need to help her! Please! Ophelia! Please, I didn’t realize! Ophelia!” She screamed, and Moss grunted as she continued, Jenkins chest heaving up and down around Larissa as he held her back.
“Hush Lassie, she’ll come back, she always comes back.” He swallowed, but it sounded more like he was attempting to convince himself than anything. He had seen you do this before, your body go into shock over visions that were too powerful, everytime you did come back, but it didn’t make it less terrifying.
Larissa felt her blood run cold. This was her fault. She and her aunt had pushed your ability too far, you weren’t even a seer, you were a mild psychic, a secondary trait, and she had taken advantage of-
“Thank feckin god,” she heard Jenkins breathe above her, and she looked up through her teary eyes to see you taking a massive gasp of air before Moss helped you on your side, starting the coughing.
You sounded wretched, and Larissa fought to get out of Jenkins’ arms. She needed to be there, she needed to be next to you, she needed to help you, and he was holding her back still. She was stronger than him, the only thing holding her back was her mind. She knew she couldn’t help before, but now, now you needed her.
“Let me go!” She screamed, and the man dropped her in surprise when she dug her heel into his foot, something he didn’t expect from the seemingly proper woman.
She rushed towards you, kneeling next to you on the ground, across your body from Moss, who was looking at her wide eyed. The doctor knew if you couldn’t calm down you couldn’t breathe, and after that you had no chance of keeping full control.
You were still coughing, facing the ground propped up on your elbows as you attempted to catch your breath, yet nothing came. It was as if you couldn’t expand your lungs fully, they were operating too quickly, moving too limitedly to actually get any air.
You jumped when you felt steady hands on either side of your ribs, applying the smallest bit of pressure before you heard her voice.
“Breathe here, push my hands away, darling.” She whispered, so low you barely heard it, her voice sounding almost broken. She was helping you. You hated yourself for it, she shouldn’t have to see this, have to help you at all, you shouldn’t have brought her here. Here she was trying to convince you to breathe and all you could think of was what you had put her through by bringing her here.
Yet you did it. You forced your ribs to open, expanding them against her steady hands, the air filling up your chest suddenly, as if all the pressure had stopped. You took a few gasps of air before slowly calming, sitting up and bracing yourself with a hand on Larissa’s shoulder.
“You feckin nitwit, are ya kidding me!” You heard Jenkins holler, and you cringed. Not now, you didn’t need a lecture now, you needed to bury yourself under the covers of your bed in shame at exposing Larissa to this. It was so selfish of you to bring her here, even if she saw her aunt, you knew the woman well, and this, she would blame herself for this.
“I’m fine, aren’t I?” You replied, your voice still a little shaky as Larissa looked to you, also enraged. Furious, she was furious. How dare you gamble with your life like that. There were people that cared about you. She cared about you. Everyone in this place she had seen cared about you, the students at Nevermore cared about you.
“Fine?” She questioned, loud and thoroughly pissed. “You call that fine?” She nearly squeaked, and you groaned, shaking your head. You had to get her home, get cleaned up, sleep. Start the next day, there would be work, there always was. This was just part of your life, part that you shouldn’t have shown her, but a part nonetheless.
“I knew how far I could push myself, and I’m fine, aren’t I?” You responded, gesturing to your very much alive body. “I’m here, aren’t I?” You continued, and Larissa saw red. She didn’t know how you could gamble your life like that, how you could be so careless, how you could just operate on a whim when people needed you. When she needed you.
To your utter shock, and everyone else’s, you felt the sting of a hand colliding with your face. Your eyes went wide as you turned to Larissa, who was perhaps angrier than you had ever seen her.
“If you ever pull that shit again I will- I’ll- you do not get to up and stop your heart because of me! Do you understand me?” She nearly growled in your face, and your eyes went wide, nodding slowly. This was new. “I don’t give a shit if that’s what you think you’re supposed to do or feel like you must- you don’t ever get to harm yourself on my account do you understand?” She almost threatened, and you nodded mutely as the woman stood, glaring at you with tears in her eyes. She was beautiful, even now, beautiful and powerful, and heaven help you, you wanted to kiss her. “That is twice now you have stopped your heart on my account.” She breathed, looking almost terrified for a moment. She didn’t understand how you could care so little for your own life. How you could use yourself like a tool, one to be used and discarded. Handled with no care or tenderness whatsoever.
Then it dawned on her.
She struck you.
She actually hit you. After your heart had just stopped she HIT you!
“I- Ophelia- I- I didn’t mean-“ she gasped, clamping her hand over her mouth as she looked at the red mark forming on your face. She was strong, all shapeshifters were, and she knew that, but she hadn’t lost control of her strength since- since-
She looked around, from Jenkins who had an unreadable expression on his face, to Moss who was almost certainly reading her mind, to Mirella who looked horrified, to Sugar who just looked sad.
If she had looked at you, she would have seen shock in your eyes, but something so much deeper beneath it. It wasn’t fear, you weren’t afraid of her, but the way your heart was pounding might have made it seem otherwise.
There was one person back in the corner, a young individual, about Mirella’s age, who just stared at her. The look they were giving her gave her chills, something was very, very wrong.
They looked at her with murder in their eyes.
They were hanging back, staying away from the main group, but the look they gave her, it had her stepping back in fear. It looked like they wanted to kill her.
Jenkins looked to her strangely, none of them were angry at her, frankly he was proud, but Larissa was reacting as if someone was giving her a death glare.
He followed her eyes, his own going wide when he saw them.
“Phil.” He whispered, and you barely responded, your mind still spinning from what had just happened. She hit you. She had actually hit you. Only instead of feeling fear or your body instantly trying to fight, you had only felt the sting of her hand and the shame you felt at putting her through this. “Phil.” He said again, and you looked up at him, your eyes rimmed with red.
“What?” You hissed, finding him squaring his shoulders reluctantly as Larissa took a step back, the both of them staring off to a corner in the garden you couldn’t see from where you were still seated on the ground.
Of course, of course there would be more, because you hadn’t put her through enough today. You hated it, you hated that the place you knew to be home had brought her pain in as little as a few hours. You hated that there would be more. You groaned, getting up to look at whatever had them both so tense.
“Oh what in the-“ you froze as you saw them, your blood running cold.
It was Flit. Flit was staring at Larissa as if they wanted to gut her on the spot, and you felt your heart drop. You knew what would happen, there was a reason Flit didn’t leave the manor anymore, their flashbacks were too severe, anything could set them off and trigger them to spiral, and you, seeing something happen to you was perhaps the worst it could get.
Flit had seen a man- more than one- do horrific things to you, and still, any time someone got too close to you in front of them they occasionally acted violently, but this- they had seen her hit you, and now they looked like they wanted her head on a pike.
“Flit,” you called calmly, doing your best to get their attention off her and onto you, you could do this, you just needed to ground them, get them to refocus. “Flit, listen to me, it’s ok, I’m safe, we’re both safe.” You said as calmly as you could, despite the panic sinking into you.
You had visions, yes, and occasionally flashbacks from the month you and they had spent trapped in a temporary lab with both… him as well as his men. Flit, however, Flit was never the same after. They had injected them with enough to addle the young shifter’s mind, essentially leaving them permanently in a state of near-delusion, making what would have been a struggle for them a danger to everyone. Before the teleporter was always bubbly and playing pranks, now they rarely left their quarters, if ever, and only allowed you in their room.
You had become both a trigger to them and a safety point. You knew it had been hard for them, having you gone, just as you knew that what they were seeing right now wasn’t Larissa. She was tall, British, anyone larger than you would be difficult for them, but that, and then the fact that they had seen her hit you. They had no chance.
They saw the man who had chained them up, injecting them with inhibitors to prevent them from teleporting. They saw the man who had strapped you to a table in the same room as them, the man you had bargained your cooperation to for their life. They saw the man who injected you with things that made you bite down so hard your mouth bled in an attempt not to let them see you cry, and the man who had tried to- tried to breed you like an animal. Like you were chattel, and he could sell both you and any offspring.
It had been almost a month by the time Georgianna and Jenkins had found you and freed you both, and every day before they had, when Flit was even younger than your niece was now, they saw people do horrific things to you.
Now it was all they could see.
“Flit, please, I need you to look at me, look into my eyes.” Your voice echoed, but the words weren’t there, all they could hear was the scream you had made when they finally started injecting things that really, really could hurt you.
They saw flashes in their mind of you turning your face away from them, tears in your eyes as they pried your legs apart, they didn’t have the proper materials, nor the doctors to do it, aso the methods used were… cruel at best, horrific at worst. The pain, they remembered the pain on your face and screams caught behind your throat and they were moving towards the man that dare lay his hands on you again, that dare come near you.
Only Flit wasn’t a child anymore. They weren’t a shaking little twelve year old, they were grown, they were grown and they could stop this.
You saw Flit twitch, and you knew what was about to happen, you pulled Larissa behind you instantly, throwing your gloves to the ground and flexing your fingers, feeling the earth beneath your feet. You would rather die than harm any of the children here, Flit included, but you could stop them.
They pushed one of his guards back, teleporting just in front of the guard to catch him by surprise, only they never heard Jenkins call out to them to stop, nearly begging them as they moved towards the man with murderous intent, their hands raised as they pulled a knife from seemingly nowhere. Flit couldn’t recognize Jenkins, not now. Now his face had morphed into that of one of the guards, and they had to go through them.
They swung, and Jenkins brought his arm up to stop them. They hadn’t been trained in combat, but getting them to stop without harming them, or sending them deeper into this, causing more psychological harm, was nearly impossible.
A thud rang out as they punched Jenkins in the chest, the vampire grunting and blocking their blows with ease, but being forced to move back rather than take the offensive. He was a powerful man, but he was also incredibly deadly, he wouldn’t hit them. None of you would.
He ducked a blow before deflecting another one, and Flit teleported, coming down just above him, wielding their knife down, attempting to sink it into his shoulder, he moved, but just barely in time. They did it again, teleporting around the man and making quick blows, trying to throw him off his guard, and it was starting to work.
“Moss,” you called, and the psychic stared intensely at the teleporter, watching them swing their knife at Jenkins again and again, seeing each blow they made, feeling their fear, their horror. You knew she could control a mind, calm it and even shit one down, but if Flit was too far gone…
You could fight them, both you and Jenkins could fight them, but neither of you were willing to harm them. Not after everything they had been through.
Moss tried to focus, but cried out in horror, they were going to try to kill Larissa, she could see what was happening in Flit’s mind, and it wasn’t Larissa they were seeing.
You moved in front of both Larissa and Jenkins, pushing him back in front of her as you ducked a swing from the knife.
Larissa gasped, watching you try to get through to them. She was paralyzed, rooted to the spot in fear. She had caused this, it was her fault, and now you were in danger, once again, defending her.
“Flit! Flit, listen to me- it’s Ophelia, it’s me, you’re safe, everything is ok!” You called, trying desperately to move them back and away from Larissa. You didn’t have much time, they were crazed in their movements, trying to destroy, trying to get to the man who had harmed you, only he was never there.
They would kill her, you had no doubt, and your mind dropped in under a second, shifting from Ophelia to the medic, a hardened operative who had killed time and time again, only the person in front of you wasn’t a soldier, this was a child you had raised.
You swallowed. You could do this, you could protect her without harming them, you just had to find a way. You could knock them out, but for that you’d have to get close enough, and to do that, you would have to fight.
“Jenkins, on Larissa, Moss!” You barked, and Jenkins moved in front of Larissa, effectively pushing her up against the wall of the building as her heart caught in her throat. This shouldn’t be happening, it was her fault this was happening. Jenkins was using himself as a human shield, you were about to do god knows what, and it was all on her.
Flit could teleport at any moment, the only way to guard her was to surround her, Moss cried out, grabbing her head in pain.
“I can’t! They’re too unstable, it’s- I can’t!” She called, and you swallowed, nodding gravely. If Moss couldn’t get inside Flit’s head, then it was up to you.
Moss couldn’t control someone incapable of controlling themselves, and you couldn’t dose a teleporter without physically putting your hand over their mouth and making sure they breathed in something that would knock them out. You would have to pin them, or surprise them, but at this point, there was no chance of that.
You looked into Flit’s eyes, they couldn’t focus, their eyes never landed on anything, they were fully entrenched in the flashback, all they knew was fight, and you knew they would kill without second thought. After all, they weren’t killing you, they were killing the ones who had harmed you both.
“Flit, don’t make me do this.” You said lowly, and they just screamed, charging you.
You blocked the swing of their knife, calling vines from the ground to grab it away from their hand.
Larissa gaped. She had seen you do it before, but then she could barely comprehend what was going on, watching you now, you held power she knew was far beyond any plant manipulator she could think of.
They dodged and kicked, hard. You barely got away, the blow hitting your shoulder instead of your face, sending you stumbling back onto the ground, only for you to flip over, weaving in and out of Flit’s blows.
They teleported around you, and Larissa gasped as you twisted your body, calling plant after plant, a vine snapped out and grabbed Flit, only for them to teleport away. Another formed a flower that burst next to them, pollen filling the air before they once again teleported, leaving you panting as you continued, calling forth everything you could as you dodged blow after blow from them.
You didn’t want to dose them, you could, but the risk of that harming their mind further haunted you. You needed to stop them, and like hell if you wouldn’t try to get through to them first.
“I’m not going to hit you, Flit, listen to my voice, listen to me.” You gritted as they aimed again, cutting the vine holding them and swinging the knife at you as they screamed.
Larissa gasped and instantly heard Moss’ voice in her head. ‘Not a sound.’ The woman said, and Jenkins pressed closer, his back to her chest as she looked over his shoulder from where she was pinned to the wall. ‘They’re a teleporter, and you became the target, Ophelia can distract them,’ Moss said, but even like this, Larissa could hear the shake in her voice.
Every move you made was defensive, you never once struck, all you had to do was get close- Flit teleported and came down on your back, reeling their arm up to plunge the knife into you, only for you to twist and call forth more vines, pulling them off you and to the ground as you gasped in a breath, your heart pounding.
Violence you could do, you could rip through people like paper, but fighting without harming the girl was pushing you harder than you were comfortable with.
“Moss, help me talk to Jenkins!” You yelled, dodging another swish of the knife, feeling it just skim your skin, slicing down the dress you were wearing. ‘Go.’ You heard in your mind, knowing Moss had connected you and Jenkins on the same mental network through her, what you didn’t know, however, was Larissa could hear you as you gasped, narrowly avoiding another swing of the knife. ‘ Guard her, I’ll try to put them down gentle, but I need you to keep her safe’ you thought, and Jenkins replied to the affirmative. ‘I’m already on her, I’ve got her, focus on them.’ He responded, and Larissa felt her stomach turn. Even now, even now you were thinking of her. She could almost feel the worry in you, the need to protect, what she didn’t understand was why, after she had caused this.
Flit teleported above you, the only warning their scream as you twisted, throwing them to the ground and slamming your hand over their face, only to feel them block you and the wind suddenly whooshing in your hair as you realized you were hundreds of feet in the air.
Falling, you were falling.
Flit teleported themselves safely to the ground as they began to head for Jenkins, who was looking at them with pure horror in his eyes as he drew his weapon, a gun pointed at Flit, as Larissa screamed in horror, you were falling, and you were falling fast, and all of them could hear every thought going through your mind.
Terrified, she could feel how terrified you were. She could feel your heart pounding as you were too far from the earth, too far from what you could control and make sense of.
You gasped for air, but the wind rushed too fast. You couldn’t see anything, only the black sky and flashing lights below as the wind pressure forced you to close your eyes.
You could do this, you just needed to think, you needed to think and you needed to breathe.
You knew the earth, you knew every plant, you could feel every blade of grass. That was how you controlled them. You could manipulate and mutate them at will, you just needed to feel where they were.
You concentrated, abandoning the fear, abandoning the sensation of hurtling through the air, you just needed to feel the ground.
The second that you did, you began.
‘Jenkins, COUNT!’ You screamed in your mind. ‘Oh my god, no- NO!’ You could hear Larissa panicking as Moss maintained the connection, unable to look at what was happening.
“You’re going to kill her.” Jenkins gritted to Flit, and for just a moment they looked clear, before descending into madness again. “Flit, you are going to KILL Ophelia!” He screamed at them, and they froze, grabbing their head and screaming at the voices and images flashing in their mind. ‘JENKINS!’ You screamed, and he looked up, swallowing. Fast- you were going too fast.
‘Ten.’ He swallowed, and Larissa felt tears stream down her face as she watched in utter horror as you fell, pulling your body into a tiny ball, calming your mind, you could do this, ‘ Nine’ he called, and you sensed the ground, sensed the life in it, the lifeblood of the earth, every single plant beneath you, everything that was and could be, ‘Eight’ he called, and you pulled .
You pulled up on every little fibre of plant life you could feel as you fell through the sky, careening towards the earth. ‘Seven!’ Jenkins choked, and you created a canopy of giant leaves, larger than any of them from the ground, despite still being hundreds of feet up, you were growing and growing them, vines twined together, creating a giant pillar reaching up into the sky, sprouting leaves larger than your body that you grunted as you crashed through, each beating your body but slowing you down slightly.
Larissa gaped . This was beyond what any plant weirder could do, this was so far beyond a dryad or a nymph, you were falling through the air, hurtling to your death and you were creating plants spiraling towards you as you did, it was like watching time stop, everything around her reaching towards you, she watched as the very earth itself seemed to attempt to cradle you.
But it wasn’t enough.
‘Six’ Jenkins called as it began, you wouldn’t have enough time, you couldn’t slow yourself down enough- ‘Five’ and you were falling still, crashing through the canopy, and Flit was writhing on the ground. They knew something was wrong, harming you, they couldn’t be harming you, that was wrong. They couldn’t hurt you!
“No, NO!” They kept screaming, and still you were falling, each giant leaf hitting you and crumpling under the velocity of your body. It had slowed enough that you could breathe, but the wind was knocked out if you with each impact through the next leaf. ‘Four’ The sight of you careening towards the ground had everyone paralyzed in horror, staring up, except for Flit who was shaking and crying out, slowly getting up.
Larissa couldn’t look away from you, even as the person attempting to kill her rose, their eyes blank as they rounded on her, staring at her behind Jenkins. ‘Three’ He cried out, watching you hit leaf after leaf, you calling them up, building an interwoven net out of vines above the ground, your eyes closed as you felt each little plant wind around the next one, creating a net, you could do this, you just had to focus.
A vibe from the structure you had created shot towards you, and Larissa screamed. She could hear you going through everything, she could hear how terrified you were, but she could hear you fighting it. The vine shot down and down, and you reached up, between that and the canopy you should be able to stop yourself in time, you just had to get it to go faster, it just had to reach you.
‘Two’ Jenkins breathed, and Larissa squeezed her eyes shut, she couldn’t watch, she couldn’t see your body hit the ground. She didn’t want to see the sickening thud she knew she would hear. What came, however, was the snapping sounds of the final vines and leaves giving way, then the scream of Flit as they lost it fully, running toward her and Jenkins one final time.
She opened her eyes, full of tears, just in time to see them raise the knife, and Jenkins steel himself. It was her fault, all of this was her fault. You were dead, your body was crushed, and now the person careening towards her and Jenkins was going to kill them both.
He had helped raise them. He had known them most of their life, but they were about to kill Larissa, and him, and anyone else in their way. Larissa screamed, and Jenkins aimed, and she pushed. She pushed Jenkins out of the way, no one else was going to get hurt for her. She held her head high, waiting for Flit to come to her, Jenkins staring up at her in shock from where she had shoved him to the ground.
She swallowed, looking Flit in the eye. If this was how she died, she would face it.
She waited, only for a black-tipped hand to come from behind them, clamping around their mouth as you clawed your way up their body with your other hand, holding yourself up as you released pollen from your hand, knocking them out before they had a chance to teleport away. The both of you dropping to the ground with you on top of them, heaving in breaths as you rolled off them, looking up at the sky and panting.
Alive, you were alive.
Larissa gasped, you were alive. She ran to you and immediately, pushing your hair out of your eyes with shaking hands.
“I- I’m so sorry- I- Ophelia,” she whispered, tears streaming down her face, and you reached up, taking her hand with your own, also shaking. It was over, Flit was down, you were on the ground, and it was over.
“I promise-“ you panted, and she furrowed her brows, shaking her head as tears streamed down her face,
“Hush, it’s ok, breathe, just breathe.” She whispered, and you felt tears prick at your own eyes. After all of that, she was telling you to breathe, her hand stroking your face and holding you softly, so softly.
Moss came over, scanning over you, starting at your feet, where your dress was in shreds. She started checking you over and you jumped slightly, grabbing in onto Larissa only for Moss to hum.
“It’s just me, Medic, you’re alright, you got her down.” She said, and you swallowed, nodding as you kept looking up at Larissa. Beautiful, she was beautiful, like an angel leaning over you, holding you close.
“I promise it’s not always like this.” You breathed, and she shook her head, looking at you. She knew that. She had enough sense to know that today was far from a normal day, and even if it was,
“It’s home,” was all she said, and you nodded, your breathing slowing a bit as you looked up at her. Close, you wanted her close. It was a strange feeling, you knew it was different with her, that had always been clear, however now, now you wanted to hold her in your arms, in your bare arms, until everything was alright again.
“I’m alright, Moss.” You breathed, and the doctor looked up at you, evaluating for a moment. “I think I’m going to be alright.” You repeated, looking up at Larissa, knowing that you would. For the first time, perhaps since ever, you looked at her, and you knew, it would somehow be alright.
Jenkins appeared above you, shaking his head at you.
“Can ye not feckin die fer one feckin Day?” He husked, his voice breaking, and you smiled a little, chuckling brokenly.
“You can ask the lady, I only had to avoid death once at her school.” You teased, and the man scoffed. Larissa glared at you, but refused to move away, her hand continuing to wipe the tears away from your face.
“I should be feckin impressed- Jesus,” He scoffed, shaking his head and looking down at you. You smiled, and he just stared at you for a moment. “Moss!” He yelled, and the woman looked up at him. “She’s broken.” He said, and she looked at your face and scoffed.
“God forbid she look happy.” She replied, and Jenkins looked at you like you had lost your mind.
“She jus’ almost died!” He hollared. “Twice!” And you chuckled, just shaking your head.
“You act as if that’s new to me.” You chuckled, and he just shook his head at you, scoffing before cracking a smile of his own while he looked up and away.
“Aye, I’d say so.” He said, before looking straight at Larissa. “Don’t let us scare ya off, lass, normally ye ‘ave to leave to be in danger, today jus seems to be a bit- much .” He sighed, and your smile dropped as Larissa swallowed, thinking for a moment.
Right.
You were used to this, she was not. To you, this just happened, but to her, you couldn’t imagine what it was like. This must be a place of horror, she must be terrified.
“I have a feeling wherever Ophelia goes, some sort of threat is sure to find her.” She sighed, and Jenkins quirked a smile, nodding his head. You swallowed down the bile that had risen in your throat.
Threat, danger, it didn’t matter. You were a danger to her. How could you be so foolish as to bring her here, putting her in danger! Your heart shattered. You had risked her life unknowingly, but this must be why Georgianna never brought her here, and now you had gone against her wishes, you had put Larissa in danger, you had ruined everything. You felt tears sting your eyes as Larissa continued looking at Jenkins, not seeing you bite them back and swallow down your emotions.
“That’s the spirit, you’ll do jus’ fine.” He smiled, before looking over to Flit, who was unconscious on the ground.
You sat up, hissing a bit, you would ache tomorrow, but you would be alright. Larissa was by your side, her hand on your shoulder, helping you as best she could. She shouldn’t be here to help, she should never have been in danger.
“Easy,” she said softly, and you shook your head, releasing a slow breath.
“I have to deal with- with this.” You swallowed, looking up at her. You were terrified she would run, that any second she would leave, or the minute you got back to Nevermore everything would change.
She was kneeling there, worry in her eyes, her hand still shaking slightly as it clutched onto yours, and you simply didn’t have the words. You looked away, and she felt it as you seemed to pull away from her, taking your hand back, rubbing at your fingers. She swallowed, looking over you for a moment before meeting your eyes again with those ice blues you had come to look for nearly every waking moment.
“I have to be at Nevermore by morning,” she swallowed, and you nodded, but looked down. You knew it was true, you both did. She had a job to do, as did you. You would be there before your first class, you had agreed to that, however you would be silly to think that she would stay while you cleaned this up.
The poor woman had just seen you nearly die, twice. She herself had been attacked. It was too much, all of it was too much. You knew that. That was why your life was separate from others. That is why you didn’t bring people into this, you were such a fool to have forgotten-
“But until then, I, I can stay.” She said softly, and you were brought back to her in an instant. Heaven help you those eyes would be the death of you. Your dress was a torn up mess, it had been one of your favorites and now was tattered, leaving much of your skin exposed, but you just wrapped your arms around her neck and pulled her close to you. You knew it wouldn’t last, that you would have to give her up, and soon, before you put her in danger again, but for now, for just one more evening you could lean on her, just a little.
She gasped as you did, as you just clutched onto her, holding her close as you tried to tell her all the things you couldn’t say with words. You swallowed down the tears that wanted to come, only allowing a few shaky breaths, inhaling her perfume before you nodded, and she helped you up.
This, of course, was interrupted by your family.
“Well I’ll be damned by the devil himself.” Sugar breathed, having come back from the house to see what the screaming had been and run into this. Your head turned to level her with a stare.
“Hey! Don’t be angry at me, I brought you two here, I get credit for sumthin’” she said, and you scoffed, looking around at the few remaining, all of them staring at you in shock. The dancing had been shocking enough, but this? Seeing you hold onto her after something like that? This had never even come close to happening before. You didn’t even let Georgianna tough you after missions.
“Jenkins, set your watch for thirty seconds.” You sighed, and he did, nodding to you with his hand on the button. “Get all your comments made in the next thirty seconds, then we work.” You sighed, gesturing for him to start.
Larissa looked around strangely as the four around you erupted into a slew of shocked expressions. You had to admit, few things were quite as entertaining as Jenkins’ agressive Scottish, mixed with Sugar’s southern twang, with Mirella’s much more posh accented slew of expletives and a very perplexed Moss.
“What in the fuck-“ “You just fuckin’ HUGGED someone?” “With a torn dress no less-“ “Yer actin’ like a proper slut now, lettin’ her touch your exposed shoulders .” “How in the hell-“ “When did you start-“ “TIME.” Jenkins called, and you smiled, breathing out as Larissa just shook her head at the antics. Ridiculous, you were all utterly ridiculous.
“You’re out of your damn minds.” She murmured, and all eyes turned towards her.
Her face turned bright red as she looked down, realizing she said that aloud and had just effectively insulted your entire family. You, however, cackled.
“Oh, fuck, that was perfect.” You laughed, and Jenkins nodded.
“Aye, that’s a fair observation.” He said, and you only smiled a little, despite the exhaustion in your eyes. Despite the sadness you had hidden away behind that.
“Well done, love, you’ll be out quipping the red oaf in no time.” You hummed, shooting a look to Jenkins, who only crossed his arms.
“My quips are feckin top-notch, lass, don't you ever ferget.” He threatened, and you smiled a bit before you looked down at Flit, still laying on the ground. Larissa followed your gaze, looking at them worriedly.
“Will she-“
“they.” The group of you corrected in unison, startling her.
“Of course, I apologize, will they be alright?” She asked, and Moss looked to you.
“What did you dose them with?” She asked, and you sighed. You felt disgusting.
“Modified Oleander, it’ll keep them down for about a day if I don’t reverse it, but they’ll be alright.” You explained, the guilt beggining to set in. It must have shown, because Larissa took your hand as Jenkins shook his head.
“It’s not yer fault, Phil, everyone here knows that.” He said, and you huffed, shaking your head, the lump in your throat forming.
“It was my responsibility to keep them safe-“
“Shut up.” He snapped, and you looked at him in surprise. “Shut up. Not alone, it wasn’t, and what happened to the both a’ ye wasn’t, and ye can’t blame yerself fer that.” He said, and you swallowed, nodding. The man rarely yelled. It scared most of the children here, there had been a point where it would have scared you too. “I’m not feckin listening to ye blame yerself for one more minute. The two of ye got left behind, that’s never happening again.” He swallowed, and then you saw it, the guilt in his eyes.
As much as you blamed yourself, he blamed himself, and you hummed, reaching out and squeezing his arm over the fabric of his suit jacket. He shook his head, taking off his sunglasses and rubbing his eyes.
“‘Sides, if we’re gonna be pissed at someone, it should be birdie over there.” He huffed, gesturing to Mirella. You turned around, furrowing her brows as the girl went pale.
“What did I do! I have done nothing, certainly not anything to justify the both of you being pissed.” She protested, her eyes going wide.
“Yer not gonna tell yer legal guardian what Professor Dickless the Pig called ye?” He asked, and your head tilted slowly as Mirella turned bright red, instantly seeing barely contained murderous intent on your face. Larissa looked very, very confused, however she couldn’t help that your protective side always, got her attention.
“Ok, look, he’s a bit of a bigot, but worse things have happened than me being accused of cheating or being called a changeling.” She scoffed, and you froze, an almost crazed look settling on your face as Larissa cringed.
She knew what that was like. Changeling, meaning shapeshifting demon, was a common slur for shapeshifters, and she herself had been accused of using her ability to cheat countless times at university, despite never actually having done so.
“I’m sorry, he called you a what?” You spoke, your voice entirely too calm and sweet for someone who had the look of pure bloodthirst in their eyes.
“I- it’s not that bad, I’ve been through worse. We’ve been through worse today alone.” Mirella protested, swallowing down her concern. You were, protective so to speak, and while she had seen you on the warpath before, she did not particularly want to see it again. You fully ignored her, looking directly at Moss.
“I can’t touch them without risking pulling us both into a spiral, could you take them down to their room please?” You asked, nodding to Flit. She nodded, Sugar helping her and teleporting both of them to somewhere Larissa had no idea of, and you looked directly at Jenkins.
The mood had completely shifted, leaving Larissa reeling. How you did it, how all of you did it, she had no idea. She couldn’t understand how you all just moved on, how you had to.
“My office?” You asked, and the man smirked.
“I’ll get his file.” He said almost gleefully, and you turned around, looking at both the shifter holding your arm as well as the one you had raised.
“Please, please don’t do anything rash.” Mirella almost begged, and Larissa swallowed.
“What on earth are you going to do?” She asked you, slightly terrified but also more than a little curious.
“Oh,” you hummed, your smile turning deadly. “I’m going to ruin a man’s life.” You said happily, turning and immediately leading her into the manor, Mirella hot on your tail.
“Come on, it wasn’t that bad, he has done worse before- of all things to get pissed at- he’s getting better-“ Mirella tried, only to immediately realize her mistake as you whipped around to face her.
“He’s done worse ?” You asked, the tone of your voice utterly terrifying to both the women following you. Mirella gave in, swallowing. There was a reason she hadn’t brought it to your attention before. There was nothing that could be done, and the last thing she wanted was to bring any more attention to herself then there already was on account of her classification.
“I- he- he’s tenured, even if you were to go after him, there’s nothing you can do, it would just make it more difficult.” Mirella swallowed, and Larissa felt her heart break for the girl. Of course, of course it would make it more difficult for her. She remembered that, how certain professors were simply better to steer clear of or try to placate. It was exactly why she went on to head Nevermore, in an attempt to prevent that from happening by improving relations.
“Dr. Thresh?” You asked Mirella, and both her and Larissa cringed, making your eyes go wide. “Ah, so the both of you then. Wonderful.” You said lowly, turning around and storming towards your office, leaving the both of them in shock. They just stared at each other for a moment.
“You had him too?” Mirella asked, and the woman grimaced.
“He had, ideas about what shapeshifters should do, professionally or not.” She said, and Mirella swallowed, looking down. “He hasn’t mellowed with age, I take it?” Larissa asked, and Mirella shook her head.
The both of them snapped to attention when a door was heard being slammed, looking up the hallway where you had disappeared. Larissa swallowed, there was a lump in her throat, and she didn’t know if she was nervous or excited.
“What- what exactly is she planning to do?” She asked the girl, who just shook her head. She hadn’t seen you like this before, not personally. She knew of your ability to do things more, above board, but Mirella wasn’t high enough clearance to actually see things happen.
“I have no idea, but I’m hoping it doesn’t involve a car battery.” She cringed, walking down the hall, Larissa following. She led her to a cozy, but ornate office. It was smaller than Larissa’s at Nevermore, however every inch along the walls, barring behind the large desk at the back, was piled with pillows, couches, bean bags, slouch chairs, and any other form of soft padding. She looked around, slightly confused, and Mirella hummed.
“She works late when she’s home, sometimes if the kids can’t sleep they come up to be in the same room as her.” She explained, and Larissa’s gaze softened for a moment. She had seen her students at Nevermore do the same thing. That day, in the greenhouse, you had made them feel safe again, made them feel curious and excited, something she hadn’t seen since Laurel. Now, now she knew where it came from.
A sound had them both snapping to you, fuming, but sitting properly at the desk, as Jenkins leaned over on another laptop next to you, pulling up who knows what. What caught her attention, however, was the fact that you were on the phone.
“Good evening!” You said, eerily cheery, and Larissa looked to the clock, noting that it was around eleven and cringing.
You set the phone on speaker, snapping at Mirella and pointing to one of the chairs in front of your desk. The girl slouched over as if being reprimanded by her mother. Larissa followed slowly, watching you type away on your own laptop as you began what was sure to be an, interesting conversation.
“What in the- who is this?” A distinctly female voice, clearly previously asleep, answered groggily.
“Hello Miss Potters, this would be the woman who could shut down your entire science department with a text message, I highly suggest you wake up,” you said cheerily, and Larissa’s jaw dropped. She knew you had power in the educational world, but to shut down a wing of Cambridge?
You were out of your mind, there was no way, or, for once, she was seemingly out of her depth. There was a sound akin to someone stumbling out of bed from your speaker as you began to pull up file after file, getting angrier with each name and incident you saw.
“Dr. Florere, I assure you, I am aware of the incidents with Miss Mirella, however you have to understand that the professor in question-“ the woman was panicking, hard, and in the panic she didn’t realize her mistake. You, however, very much did.
“Oh so you are aware of what is happening and you are simply doing nothing about it?” You snapped, and Mirella cringed as Larissa swallowed. You were good.
She knew you could manipulate and had seen you angry, horrifically angry, but this was a type of pissed she had yet to experience. She had seen you be deadly when the people you loved were threatened, she had seen you go so far as to use your ability against the people who birthed you, but this was new. This was for someone, like her.
“Well that is not what I said-“ the woman panicked, and you opened the side drawer, pulling out a pair of reading glasses, triggering a swallow from Larissa, the way you flicked them open with one hand was strangely attractive.
She had seen you use them once before, you seemed to save them for late nights. Mirella however, cringed further, leaning over to whisper in Larissa’s ear.
“That means she has a headache, which means Potters is fucked.” She said, and Larissa twisted her lips.
“ Mhm ” she hummed, and Mirella raised a brow.
“Oh, you like it!” She whisper-hissed, and Larissa hushed her, blushing profusely. The girl was forming a bond with her on the basis of shared experiences and the fact that both were close to you, as close as anyone could be, the last thing she needed to know was exactly how you made Larissa feel about, certain things.
“I believe that's precisely what you just said, now Miss Potters, my doctorates may not be MD’s, however I am still quite familiar with a scalpel. We can do this one of two ways, with that, or with a sledgehammer.” You said, the calm in your voice terrifying.
“Dr. Florere, please, Dr. Thresh has been teaching at Cambridge for-“
“So you know his name.” You said lowly, deadly, and Larissa listened as the woman on the phone went silent.
“I-“ she stuttered, and you hummed.
“Let me make this absolutely clear.” You began, and Larissa nearly shuddered. “I have no issue with you, you’re running an educational institution stuck so far in the past one might think you can see the London tower be built. In your position you have made strides for outcast students, I appreciate that greatly, and I respect that this is not easy for you.” You began, as Jenkins brough file after file up on the laptop next to you. “I do not want to make this any more difficult for you then it has to be,” you continued, as Jenkins handed Mirella a notebook.
She glared at him, but the look he gave her told her this was not the time to argue.
“That being said, if the man harassing the young woman I am responsible for is not dismissed from his position, I will unleash hell upon your institution the likes of which you cannot even fathom.” You said darkly, and Larissa gaped as silence rang from the phone.
“I- I can’t just fire him without the board-“ Mirella handed Jenkins back the notebook and Larissa could see the moment you read it and the sheer rage registered on your face.
“‘Freaks like you changeling bitches shouldn’t even be allowed to be educated.’” You read off, and Larissa felt herself take Mirella’s hand instinctually, the girl looking over at her in surprise.
Human. Larissa looked human, not some mythical woman Mirella had heard and read about from when she began being educated and wanting to go on to teach.
Latissa swallowed, watching you go on as heat flared her cheeks, reminding her of when she had been called such things.
“I- I wasn't aware of exactly what he had said-“ the woman on the phone stuttered, and you turned to the laptop.
“Oh, don’t worry, Miss Potters, I can provide plenty more examples.” You gritted. “‘A good outcast is a dead outcast.’ Last year to a student, and I could go on and on.” You swallowed, your voice going from rage to what could only be called disgust. “I have enough here to file harassment charges quite easily, and now I know that the university was aware of his remarks and turned a blind eye to it.” You said coldly.
“Dr. Florere, I am aware of the severity, however with just the harassment the board won’t-“
“Im sorry? Did you really say ‘just’?” You questioned, and the swallow on the other side of the phone was audible.
“No- not that I meant to diminish in any way, however-“
“I have one file here dating back to when you and I might have been in University, it’s marked as enough for me to arrest him, should I open it now and warn you or should I simply call in a friend and have him cuffed during tomorrow’s lecture?” You asked, and Larissa froze. If it was far enough back, then there was a possibility that she-
“Dr, please don’t make this a spectacle- I will see what I can do-“ Miss Potters tried, however it clearly wasn’t enough.
“I have connections to news networks too, I’m sure I could make this a worldwide scandal by morning, would you prefer that?” You asked, and the woman grit her teeth on the other side of the phone.
“How bad?” She asked, and you opened the file, your eyes immediately going wide. It was flagged in your system, but had never been seen through, the student had changed classes before anything had been done.
Your stomach turned as you realized why. You swallowed, without a hitch in your voice you read it aloud.
“Dr. Donald Thrush instructed an outcast student, shapeshifter classification, that, and I quote, ‘The only way you will pass my class is if you turn into my wife back when she was good for something and suck my cock like the whores you lot are supposed to be.’” You read, Larissa froze, her mind spinning. She cringed, and you saw it.
Your eyes went wide as you felt the floor be pulled out from under you. You had promised to never read a file on her without her permission, and now you had- you didn’t think- it didn’t matter. You had exposed her, and you felt sick.
She remembered that day. She remembered him saying that. She remembered running back to her dorm with tears in her eyes and transferring classes at the office before he could say another thing. She remembered how his eyes had raked over her at graduation, and how disgusting she had felt.
“Jenkins,” you whispered, and she looked up at having heard your voice again. Your eyes were wide, still staring at the computer, only now there were tears in them. Now the phone was pressed to your chest to keep the woman from hearing as the man looked to you in concern, only to see the student’s name on your screen. Larissa Weems .
“Oh feck.” He hissed, his eyes shooting to Larissa in horror. He knew what you could do, but she didn’t, not fully. She was swallowing back her own tears, nodding tersely as he raised a brow. You now had your eyes closed, as if you were fighting off something. You almost looked, pained.
“You have twenty four hours to fire him and the article will read ‘former Cambridge professor’ as opposed to current. I’m not involving the former student and it is far too late to press charges, but don’t let yourself think that I will not take this man for everything he’s worth.” You said coldly. “You choose the university’s involvement in this.” You warned, hanging up and turning your desk chair around.
“Do ye need a blocker?” He asked you, leaning over towards you in worry. You were strong, insanely strong, even tonight you had proven that, but this, the rage that was choking your body could only be held back so much.
“I- I’ll be fine.” You hissed, your voice sounding broken. You gritted your teeth, hissing as the black in your fingertips began to work its way up your arms, making them ache as you rolled your neck out before turning back around, looking at the two shapeshifters at your desk.
You had broken your promise. You had found out things about her you never should have known without her telling you, and the worry in her eyes told you all you needed to know.
Larissa looked like she was alright, a bit off kilter at what you were sure was a horrible reminder, but she seemed to be alright, her eyes looking at you in worry. You smiled a little, or tried to, taking your hands from your lap and placing them on the desk, rubbing at your palms as you turned to speak to Mirella, only to be cut off by Larissa’s sharp gasp.
“Oh my god,” she whispered, and your eyes went wide, snapping to her before you realized. She had never seen the black on your fingers creep up your arms before, only ever having known it to sit around your knuckles.
It was well past your wrists, almost to your elbows now, and you could feel the blood pulsing and your body aching as the flesh threatened to decompose itself to sustain the magnitude of your ability, only you were stopping it, trying to keep your emotions in check.
“Oh, it’s alright,” you said, your throat closing up a bit. It hurt, and you were having trouble hiding it. She had seen so much today, if this was the final straw. “It’s the- the um, I-“
“Her body starts to react when her emotions are larger than she can fully control, you learn to read it,” Mirella said, and you looked at her tiredly.
“Darling, you don’t have to-“
“She’s not telling you because whatever she just saw upset her enough that she’s having trouble keeping her ability from using her own body as an energy source. Meaning that while she, Ophelia, is not dangerous, her body very much is.” She explained, and you sighed as you looked at her.
“I- I’m sorry.” You swallowed, glancing from Larissa to your aching hands. “It’ll stop soon, I- it’s not fair of me to be so upset by-“
“No one ever was.” Larissa said, and your eyes snapped to her. You wouldn’t reveal what you had seen to anyone other than Jenkins, who already had access to the file on his own.
“Larissa,” you breathed, your heart breaking for the woman. If you had known, hell, if Georgianna had known, it never would have happened, and yet.
“Will you still come back with me tonight?” She asked you, and you stuttered, shocked.
“Are you- after everything? After all of today you still want me to come back with you?” You asked her, and she took a deep breath in, standing and making you look up at her, her height towering when she was sitting.
She was terrified, yes. She had seen you almost die twice, she had found out her own aunt had created this operation, she had gotten to speak to her. She had seen you bury a child and felt you cry as you danced with her, she had seen you defend a girl, so similar to her and for the first time in her life, seen someone upset on her behalf, after all that, still, all she wanted to do was hold you close.
“After today, I only want you to come back more.” Her voice shook as she said it, but you could have sworn you would have followed her anywhere in the moment.
Notes:
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Chapter 25: And Breathe
Summary:
You and Larissa dance around eachother, terrified of upsetting the other one further. It’s only when one of you is terrified enough to break open that the truth can be revealed.
WARNING: PTSD/PANIC ATTACKS/PTSD ATTACKS/ TRAUMATIC FLASHBACKS/SELF HATRED
Notes:
Hello darlings!
This is the one, the one you’ve all been waiting for, you’re welcome.
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
You didn’t let her into your room at Nevermore. You had changed, and pulled the longest and thickest gloves she had seen you wear on top of sleeves that went to your wrists.
She had tried to reach for you after you both had gone up to your room to let you change, however you had shut the door, Mirella standing outside with Larissa as she stared in shock at the closed door in front of her.
You shut her out, pushed her away, and she didn’t know why. Just a few hours ago she had helped you change, and now you wouldn’t even let her see your skin. She didn’t understand. Just a few moments ago you were in her arms, and now you wouldn’t even let her see you.
“It’s painful.” Mirella said beside her, and she looked to the younger girl in worry. Pain, she had seen you in pain many times, but not like this. Never like this.
“Will she be alright?” She asked worriedly, she had seen you rubbing at your arms and cringing a bit as you walked back. You had tried to hide it, but she knew, she could see how uncomfortable you were becoming. She could see the way your stormy eyes fluttered away from her, how you put space between the two of you almost instantly.
She realized that’s what you did with the students and swallowed. You were nearly treating her like a stranger, like anyone, like when she had first met you and you wouldn’t even shake her hand.
“She’ll be fine.” She heard a gruff voice down the hall, turning to see Jenkins walking up with a small black bag tucked under his arm. He knocked on the door and Larissa froze when she could have sworn she heard a whimper from inside. You couldn’t- there was no way…
Just how much pain were you in?
“I- I need a moment!” You strained from the other side of the door, and her breath hitched, her hand going to her stomach in a nervous gesture. You sounded, you sounded horrible.
“It’s me, Lass, come on, take the sedatives.” He said softly.
“No!” She heard You whimper from the inside, and Larissa swallowed.
“What- what happened?” She breathed, and Jenkins just sighed, shaking his head. He knew why you were hesitant. You were ashamed of your occasional loss of control, not to mention the pain from it eating you wasn’t something you wanted others to witness.
“She’s bein’ feckin’ stubborn is what’s happening.” He gruffed, knocking on the door a little harder. “Phil, let’s go, there’s no reasin’ fer ye te be in pain, come on.” He said, his voice firmer. She heard a sound, you moving to the door before the lock switched and it opened, revealing you standing, leaning against the door frame and panting.
Larissa’s jaw dropped.
You were panting, your fingers twitching in pain as you stared up at the man in front of you.
“I’m fine.” You gritted, and he shook his head, taking a handkerchief from his pocket and holding it to your nose. You hissed, snatching it away and holding it to your nose, realizing there was blood dripping from it.
Why? In front of anyone, why did it have to be her? The last time you had lost cri trop was when Georgianna had died, years ago, and now, now you had failed again.
“I’m fine, I- I can control it, I just need a little time.” You had said, and the man swallowed, shaking his head.
“Ye know how much she feckin’ hated seein’ you in pain, don’t make the lady watch it ‘cause yer feckin stubborn.” He said, looking down on you, and you glared at him. He should know better, than to use Georgianna against you, to use either of them against you. “Ye don’t have to hurt, especially for sumthin’ out a yer control.” He said, and you swallowed, looking behind him.
What you saw hit you like a punch to the gut.
Mirella looked scared, truly scared. She had seen you go through a lot, but it was rare any of them actually saw you in pain.
Larissa, however.
Larissa had never seen you truly in pain, at least not to a point where you were forced to show it. Not outside the visions of your past she had witnessed. Her heart stopped in it’s tracks. She had seen you take a punch from your own father to the face, and that you barely seemed annoyed by. This, this was hurting you. This was really hurting you. Those eyes, those beautiful stormy eyes Larissa had come to adore losing herself in looked muted, as if all the life she knew resided within you couldn’t reach the surface. She had seen you in emotional torture, but physical pain like this, it was new. It was all new.
She looked horrified.
And you broke.
“I- a low dose, this isn’t too bad.” You conceded, allowing Jenkins in. You didn’t move to close the door again, you didn’t have the energy, and this time Larissa watched nervously from the doorway as you sat at the vanity, facing him.
You pulled up the skirt you had changed into, exposing your bare thigh. Larissa didn’t know on earth was happening, but it seemed so wrong. She inhaled sharply, swallowing in worry as Jenkins opened the black bag, taking out a syringe and small vile.
“Give me point five.” You sighed, relenting, and he nodded, drawing half a milliliter of solution out of the vial before looking to your shaking hands.
“Do you want me to?” He asked, and you nodded, biting your lip as you looked up at the ceiling, trying to blink back tears.
Fuck, it hurt. It always hurt, you knew that.
The pain made it even harder for you to calm down, causing a vicious cycle as you attempted to reel in your mind. You had broken your promise to her. You had read her name, found out something that should have been entirely up to her to tell you, if she chose to. But worse, worse than all that, was that you weren’t there.
You had failed to protect the woman time after time, and seeing this, seeing her face when she realized what you knew, it broke you.
You felt the needle plunge in, and you tried your very best not to jump in pain and some sort of deep, engrained, nearly primal fear. You failed, and it broke Larissa’s heart.
She could see it flash across your face, all the horror and suffering the needle reminded you of, all the pain you had been through and seen. It was heartbreaking to watch, and it made the woman want to run to you and scoop you up, shielding you from the world.
“Fuck,” you hissed as he injected you, jumping and twisting to hide your face. It stung like hell, it always stung like hell, and you gasped as you turned, leaning down on the vanity, trying to bite back the tears. It was hard to hold yourself up as your body began to tremble.
You groaned, and Jenkins pulled on a glove, rubbing the injection area slightly, making you whimper in pain. That was it, that was too much.
Larissa went to you immediately, only to be held back by Mirella, who was just shaking her head gravely.
“Don’t,” she whispered, pulling Larissa back. The woman had to restrain herself from pushing the younger shifter off. “Trust me, don’t.” She swallowed sadly, looking down at the floor and away from you.
You were perhaps the closest thing Mirella had to family, and watching you like this, watching the woman who had raised her like this, it was mortifying. She couldn’t bear it.
“You’ve got it Philly, just a little longer,” Jenkins said, and you nodded, hiding your face in your arms. It hurt, heaven help you, it hurt. Your very veins stung with the dampener pulsing through them, your body shook as your muscles spasamed, being forced to release. “Deep breaths, in and out, it only hurts fer a second.” He swallowed, and you nodded.
Fire, it felt like fire, like your whole body was on fire. The second it was injected it stung, and would spread throughout your body for a few more seconds until you absorbed it, and it began to work. You took shaking breaths, trying to ground yourself. It wouldn’t last long, if never lasted long.
“Count it out, Ophelia, just breathe.” Jenkins said, and you nodded, muttering to yourself as Larissa looked on in worry.
You were shaking, physically shaking, and it horrified her. She couldn’t do anything. She was helpless .
“Point five, I should only have a bit more to go,” you breathed, your voice shaking, and he nodded, doing his best to encourage you through what he was sure must have been hell. “Five,” you whispered, and he pulled out a plaster from the bag, placing it over the injection site.
It stung in a similar way to lidocaine, only much, much worse, throughout your entire body. Your eyes watered, your breath shortened, but you took off one glove, placing it on the vanity and waiting, your hand shaking pathetically as you felt your body fight both your control and the dampener.
“Four,” you whispered, pulling up your sleeve and watching the blackness on your arm slowly move back, fading away to reveal your pale skin. “Three,” you whimpered, and the man nodded.
“Good, good, yer doin’ good, Lass.” He praised, and you nodded, taking another deep breath as the pain started to subside.
“Two,” you whispered, swallowing back the last bit of pain, looking to see your wrists return to normal, leaving only your hands still fighting to maintain the normal balance.
Larissa watched on in shock as your body seemed to regain control of itself, but exacting a prince from you she couldn’t imagine.
“ One .” You sighed, watching as your hands once again returned to normal. You then felt the sleepiness, the drowsy confusion you hated so much. Your head swam, the room seemed to spin, and shadows became shapes. It was somewhere between the world of the living, your visions, and lifting the veil. Everything was everywhere, and yet you were nowhere.
“Mmm, can’t- not- I…” you pittered out, closing your eyes and groaning. The man grimaced, and Larissa looked on in extreme worry. You could barely form words.
You always spoke so intelligently, so clearly, and now words were giving you difficulty, it was horrifying. Your eyes lulled a bit, looking at her in the mirror before they saddened in defeat.
“Mmm, I need… need to head to bed.” You muttered, and Jenkins nodded.
“She teaches fer ye tomorrow?” He asked Larissa, and she nodded, only just now realizing that was something g she could be concerned about.
“I- yes, but how could she possibly- is she going to be alright?” She breathed, the worry in her voice nearly choking her. You mumbled something to Jenkins, something she couldn’t hear but had him glaring at you for a brief second before the look softened into worry.
“She’ll be fine, the eh, the inhibitor makes ‘er drowsy, but she’ll sleep it off jus’ fine.” He swallowed. “She needs ‘bout an hour fer that dose, but she’ll be alright.” He sighed, and she watched as you whimpered, taking your gloved hand and grabbing on to the man’s arm, facilitating him to carefully, never touching your skin, pick you up and lay you back down on the bed, leaving you staring at the ceiling before he went to Larissa to attempt to explain what was going on. He was cut off, however, by something Larissa was heartbroken to hear, something that struck fear even into him.
You were crying.
“I don’t deserve that name.” You whispered, speaking to no one, and Jenkins whipped around to face you. “Georgianna, Mon sauveuse, pourquoi me quittes-tu?” You breathed, and Jenkins looked at you in greif.
You were speaking to her, just as you used to, your voice broken and tears in your eyes.
“It’s not real, Lass.” He sighed, and you turned your head slowly, towards him, your eyes far away.
“Forgive me, please, forgive me,” you begged, your voice barely above a whisper as you choked. “I failed you.” Your voice broke at the admission, and Jenkins could see, could feel, the weight of the world on your shoulders.
For the first time, everyone in the room could.
“I’m sorry.” You cried, begging some unseen force for forgiveness that would never come, that could never come.
The dead could speak, but even they failed to know what lived behind your eyes, what pain you trapped in that silver vault.
“I used to be beautiful,” you breathed. “Magnifique, wundershön, bellisima, and what am I now?” You breathed, and he swallowed. “Was I ever really beautiful?” You asked, before turning your head back to the ceiling. “Was I always this?” You cried softly. “Im so sorry, I wasn’t beautiful enough, not strong enough, have I become what they said?” You asked, the sound of your voice growing thicker as the tears came heavier. “Am I truly just a weapon?” You mumbled, before everything fell into black.
…
You woke up an hour later, hearing muffled anger happening out in the corridor. “If you don’t tell me what the fuck she was talking about, I will KILL you!” Mirella spat, and Jenkins glared at her.
“She can’t control it after the inhibitors, ye know that, whatever the feck she sees ain’t our feckin business!” He spat, and you could hear Larissa panic.
“I’m not asking you to tell me what went on in her mind, I am telling you that you will explain to me what that was.” She demanded, and you felt your heart warm at her protective instinct, despite your aching body as you stumbled to the door. Everything ached.
You didn’t recall what you said, you never could after being injected. You knew you would mumble in the induced sleep as well, it was never restful, only leaving you more exhausted and aching. You opened the door, leaning against it tiredly, all three heads snapping to you.
“How bad?” You asked Jenkins, and he swallowed.
“Ye- ye kept asking for forgiveness.” He sighed, his eyes revealing the shame and worry you knew the man felt. You hummed, looking down for a moment. There were a number of things that could mean, you never knew what you would speak about.
”I- who-“ you cleared your throat, pulling yourself together before you looked back up at him. “To whom?” You asked him, and he had to restrain his own features from betraying him.
“Ye asked if you were ever beautiful, or if you were….” He swallowed, and you hummed. “Ah, so to her.” You sighed, looking over his shoulder, your eyes landing on Larissa and Mirella.
Both women were staring at you, and you bit the inside of your cheek, trying to find the words. They both looked so… lost. Lost, and horribly concerned. Mirella, however, you had to deal with Mirella first. The child came first, even if she no longer was one.
“Mirella, I-“
“You blame yourself?” She asked, and you sighed, closing your eyes. You were exhausted, your head was pounding, this wasn’t good.
“I think, I think I should have gotten there faster.” You began, leaning more heavily against the door. “You know that I don’t control what I say under the influence of those drugs, half of it is likely hallucinations.” You tried, and the girl just shook her head, making you swallow. “I believe what I would have been trying to ask was what- what it all means, not that I’ll ever receive an answer. What I am...” You sighed, and she stared at you for a moment. Mirella sidestepped Jenkins, walking towards you.
You moved back on instinct, immediately missing the doorway propping you up as your hands groped for the wall, something to keep your balance. The girl got closer, and you only backed away faster, even stumbling backwards, catching yourself on the chair in front of the vanity.
“What you are! You are my family. You raised me to always be proud of myself, always be proud of what I can do, to wear every bit of myself with courage, to be proud of what I’ve been through!” She tiraded, and you looked up at the girl, leaning back against the desk.
“Mirella, please, I-“ you stuttered, but she was far from finished.
“You raised me to see beauty in everything, to ignore what others thought beauty was and now you-“ your hand hit the vanity and your head snapped back, Jenkins immediately pushing Mirella out of the way and catching you, easing you to the floor.
“Feck, she’s out.” He hissed, fully aware you were in a vision, thankfully one that wasn't being transferred to him.
Larissa came forward, rushing to you to help, yet the second her hands touched you, she felt the pull of it too. It seemed that this one wanted her too.
“You have to let me change the bandages.” She heard from behind her, and quickly looked up to see a woman, the same woman whose portrait hung in the main hall of the manor, a woman standing at likely six and a half feet, staring down at you, at a much younger you, as you curled under the covers on the bed.
“Don’t touch me, I’ll hurt you.” You whispered, the tiny voice still broken. She could see you were still emaciated, yet there was color on your cheeks, unlike the visions she had seen of you at Newflight.
You were healing. Slowly, but you were healing. Someone was caring for you, which clearly terrified you, and it broke Larissa’s heart.
“You’re not going to hurt me, dear.” The woman sighed, taking the chair from the vanity and placing it next to the bed, sitting on top of it.
“I could.” You whimpered, pulling the blankets tighter around you like a shield, and she shook her head.
“You’re not going to, let me see them.” She said patiently, and you just shook your head, burying deeper under the covers.
You must have been seventeen, Larissa realized. At seventeen, you were terrified of touching anyone, how long had it been for you? Had your entire life been this way? Did you truly just not know gentle touch?
“I can teach you, you know.” The woman said softly, and you looked up at her from your protective cocoon of blankets, sealing off your skin from the outside world.
She could feel the fear in you, feel the disbelief coursing through you, the wariness in the face of such comfort. What she couldn’t tell, however, was if you were trying to protect yourself with the blankets, or the world.
“What would you possibly have to teach me?” You snapped, and Georgianna sighed.
“I can teach you many things, Ophelia, but first, I can teach you how to live.” She said softly, and just the slightest bit, you pulled down the blanket.
…
Larissa woke in her own bed, at Nevermore, reaching for you beside her, only to feel nothing there but the cold, empty sheets.
As soon as the vision had ended, you had told Jenkins to get Sugar to take her back, promising you would be there in a few hours. Larissa laid in her bed, staring at the ceiling, alone.
It was so much. All of it was so much. She didn’t know how to process it all. Yet more than anything, she wanted you. She wanted you to be there, with her, and yet you were in your own bed, your door locked as you attempted to sleep off the impact of whatever you had been injected with.
Sugar had knocked on her door a few hours later, saying that you were asleep in your room, and that it would be best to leave you that way until morning. She had wanted to give the young woman a death glare, everyone had told her what was best in the last few hours, since you took that medication, everyone but you. You wouldn’t even speak to her.
She knew what a dampener was, she knew it was likely inhibiting or lowering your abilities, and yet she wasn’t sure how it could do so. You were powerful, more powerful than any plant related outcast she had ever seen, and now she had seen what happened if you let your abilities get the best of you.
It made sense, why you were so close with her aunt. It was her aunt who had taught her to control her own ability, to prevent her from harming herself, and it seemed she had done the same with you.
She looked at her clock, it was half past four. She didn’t have to get up for another half an hour, but her stomach felt sick, nervous.
She had hit you, actually harmed you, and it had began a spiral she saw to cause you significant amounts of pain. She bit her lip, her eyes watering as she remembered how you had whimpered when Jenkins injected you with the drug, how so little could put your body through so much.
Staying in bed any longer wasn’t an option, she just couldn’t do it.
She got ready quickly, far faster than normal, and went to her office, preparing a cup of tea for herself as she attempted to sit down, to work.
She opened an email, typing out a half baked response before scratching it and starting again. And again. And again. It had been re-written it seven times before she was even willing to send it, and even then she still wasn’t satisfied.
It was wrong, everything felt wrong. Everything felt so wrong and she didn’t know how to fix it. Well, she did, but not when you wouldn’t even speak to her.
She needed to see you, to see that you were alright. She wasn’t even sure if you came back to Nevermore the night before, she told herself. Jenkins had said that you would, but she wasn’t sure. It was her responsibility then, she told herself. She had to check, to make sure you were there, that your classes today would be taught.
She had every right to, she repeated in her mind. She kept doing so the entire way to your door, standing in front of it, trapped. It was just before six now, her watch read. It was still early, but not horrifically so. Classes would start in two hours, it would make sense for you to be awake. If you were even here.
She felt her nerves rising, what if you wouldn’t let her in? What if you wouldn’t even speak to her? You had let her into your home, the very heart of your being, and she had repaid you by striking you. The worst part was, she knew it wasn’t the first time.
You had been hit before. Many, many times. She had been hit before too, she knew how it felt. In the moment, all she had wanted was to snap you out of your seemingly constant spiral of self hatred, but she had hit you! In the moment, it felt like all she could do, but now, now it made her sick.
She knew, she knew that what she had done was unforgivable, and it terrified her. She couldn’t do this, she had to give you space.
Yet she had a responsibility.
She had a responsibility to the school, to the children, to make sure that classes could continue. She knocked on the door. No response. She waited, her heart pounding in her ears. What if you didn’t come back, what if you would never come back? What if you were in the room and wouldn’t speak to her? What if you wouldn’t even look at her?
What if you were hurt?
You could be hurt. She had seen the amount of pain you were in after, what if it was more than that? What if you were hurt, and alone, and no one was there to help you. She had seen your bleed out before, she had seen you struggle with pain and fall unconscious. She had felt how cold your body became that day. She had felt the life leave you. That couldn’t happen again. She wouldn’t let that happen again.
She shook as she looked through her keys, finding the one to your door. It was an invasion of privacy, yes, it was wrong, yes. But if you were hurt, if there was something preventing you from responding, it would have to be worth it.
Her hand shook as she used the key to open the lock, feeling like she would vomit from worry, the nausea only worsening with every second.
The door creaked open slowly, there was no light in the room, she heard nothing. She took a ragged breath as she went in, looking around for you in utter fear. Her head was spinning, she felt sick, she couldn’t do this- she needed to do this- but it was wrong- but- Oh.
Oh .
Oh, there you were. Asleep, sprawled out on the bed, the blankets under you. Your hair was fanned out over the pillows, the wild curls falling over everything. Your one hand was up near your face, your other down next to your leg.
Your legs and arms were fully exposed, whoever had put you to bed changed you into a night slip, however it had ridden up, revealing the bruising covering the side of your upper thigh, dark in the morning light streaming through the long window. Her breath caught in her throat.
She had been part of the cause for that.
She had heard Jenkins himself say it, you could have handled any one of the things that happened yesterday, but together it was all too much. Too much. She had pushed it over the threshold, she was too much.
She felt tears form in her eyes, her stomach turning. She was disgusted by herself, horrified that she would strike you. She didn’t know what to do in the moment other than to snap you out of your spiral, but now, now she was left hating the hands that had done it. Hating herself. Hating the situation. And so, so in love with you.
You looked so beautiful, sprawled out across the bed, your chest rising and falling slowly. The soft sunlight seemed to bring out the brighter tones of your hair, the normally merlot-esque curls looking a little more red.
You were always beautiful, but like this, you took her breath away. Yet she cried. She cried, horrified by herself, horrified that she would never see you like this again, that the second you woke up you would send her out, you would never let her speak to you beyond professionally again, let alone touch you again.
She felt her breath come short, she hadn’t really known you for that long, and yet it felt like you were a part of her she couldn’t go on without, she couldn’t continue.
She didn’t know how.
It was like she had always known you, and just now you had finally walked into her life. You lightened her days, astounded her with your strength and kindness, and your compassion. Good lord, your compassion. She didn’t know how someone who had been through as much as you had could be the way you were, could be truly loving and kind the way you could be. How you could raise children like her, knowing that it meant you would have yo see so many of them never grow up.
“Why are you crying?” She heard the raspy voice from your bed, and her eyes snapped to you in shock, her hand immediately covering her mouth. She didn’t think she had made a sound, how had you heard her?
“I- Ophelia I am so-“
“What’s wrong?” You swallowed, hissing when you sat up a bit and shifting your weight to your other side, away from your marked hip. You looked so confused, your brilliant mind clouded with sleep and pain. It only made her heart ache more.
Her eyes flashed to your hip, and your own widened when you realized what she was looking at. You immediately swallowed, pulling the night slip down, and it made her want to be swallowed up by the ground. Of course you wouldn’t let her look at you, she didn’t deserve to. She averted her eyes, looking at the ground, confusing you.
She was acting very skittish all of a sudden. You were the one who had broken your promise, she should be furious. Unless it was so much worse than that…
She could be scared.
“I- I’m sorry, I just had to make sure you were alright to teach today.” She swallowed, her voice detached and trembling. Scared. She was scared, you realized, and you felt the guilt behind to eat you alive.
You hadn’t meant to see any files involving her. You hadn’t looked at Larissa’s own file, you never would, not without her permission, but you had found something, nonetheless. You had broken your promise, and by the time you realized it, it was far too late. You had betrayed her trust, taken away her power over her own story, and it was cutting you up inside.
“I- of course, but Larissa-“ you stuttered, your throat feeling like shards of glass were embedding themselves into it.
The woman bristled, shaking her head. How dare she, she thought to herself. How dare she demand things from you, demand you teach after what she had done.
“I’m sorry, I’ll leave you to it then.” She whispered, her voice breaking at the end as she left the room as fast as her long legs could carry her without running. She shut the door, leaving you in shock, only to feel hot tears drip down her face as soon as she reached the other side.
The both of you cried, not knowing the other one was doing the same.
You shook, alone in your room, terrified you had hurt her beyond repair. If this was the end of you both- heaven help you, it might break you. You got up and got dressed with shaking hands and a sore body. You would always be achy and exhausted after taking the dampener you and Georgianna had created, but it was considerably better than your other options.
Numb, that was the word for it. You felt numb. Or rather, you felt hollow. Like your heart had been carved out and now lived outside of you. As if it lived with the woman you had hurt, abandoning you, and shattering itself when you failed her.
You pulled on a long turtleneck shirt, a long sleeved blouse, a pair of trousers, a vest, and a jacket before you were satisfied with how covered your skin was. More, you needed more. You didn’t want to feel the world today, you didn’t want a single thing to touch your skin, not when you were this jumpy.
Boots came on next as you prepared yourself a cup of tea and looked through your notes for this morning’s class. Wednesday’s class, of course. You hadn’t had a chance to talk to the girl yet, meaning she was likely still wildly pissed at you, and as for you, you didn’t know. You didn’t know what you felt. You were a mess.
Guilt, that was what you felt, it was guilt. Guilt for not being there for your niece, guilt for betraying Larissa’s trust, it was just all guilt. Guilt weighed down your feet and silenced you as you walked to the greenhouse, placing your tea down at your desk and sitting behind it.
You still had about an hour before class began, you just had to get your head on straight, you could do this. You could do this. You just had to do as you always did, you had to separate it. No matter how bad things at the hospital got, you could always keep a smile on your face in front of the resident children. You could do this.
You spent the next hour pouring over the lesson plan, trying to calm yourself, before the students began to stroll in. Bianca was first unsurprisingly, and she created you with an excited
“Hello doctor!” One which you returned with a smile.
“Good morning, how are you feeling today, Miss Barclay?” You asked, and the girl nodded excitedly.
“Good, thank you, I’m excited for what you have planned today.” She said, slightly less nervously than she used to sound, taking her seat in the front.
You watched as the rest of the class came in, you marking up the board with diagrams of a few different plants. Your hands, even behind some of your longest and thickest gloves, never faltering in your drawing.
Larissa swallowed as she walked in, having taken the form of a young student. It was her responsibility, she reminded herself. She didn’t mean to deceive you, she just needed to make sure your teaching wasn’t affected by, everything.
You turned around just before time,making her breath hitch before sitting on a high stool you had placed in front of the chalk board and looking over your class. Everyone was there, including someone you didn’t recognize, strangely, perhaps a new student, he ran knows you were barely up to date on that, and Wednesday and Enid had yet to arrive.
You should have seen that coming.
Knowing your niece she would get there at the last possible second to show her spite, as if she had planned it, meaning she would arrive in three, two, one-
“Oh. So your classes are worth you showing up then.” Came a snarky comment from the raven haired girl, and you sighed, preparing yourself for what you were sure was going to be a long, long class.
“I attended to the business I had to, and now I am back, Miss Addams, as I said I would be.” You said calmly, standing and beginning to hand out the materials you would use for the day.
“It’s appropriate you refer to me as such, given you don’t seem to value me as any more important than your other students and patients.” The girl snapped, and you sighed deeply, not looking at her as you continued to hand out materials. The new girl in the back was interesting, she couldn’t meet your eyes, yet hers kept going to your hands or your hips, almost evaluating how you were moving. You narrowed your eyes slightly, Larissa wouldn’t, would she?
“In the classroom, I must value you as much as any other student, no more and no less.” You responded to your niece, watching the new girl more closely. There were almost always giveaways. Larissa was good, very good, but behaviors were repeated, even if the body expressing them was different. “I suggest we finish this discussion in private, when I can talk to you like my niece, whom I love dearly.” You sighed over your shoulder, your eyes never leaving the new girl.
“Not more than any of your other projects.” Wednesday mumbled, and you closed your eyes, clenching your jaw for a moment. The sigh that left you sounded like it took all the energy you had left.
“Wednesday Addams, you know I love you more than I have ever loved a single soul on this earth. I would give my life to protect you, but that is not something you need from me. What you need is family, and that is what I am to you, however at this moment I have to be a professor, so you can stop disrupting class and allow me to teach or you may go wait in my room for me to finish, but you know very well which one I would prefer, so make your choice.” You snapped, the rest of the students going dead silent.
This was awkward, incredibly so, and had you been anyone else you would likely be mortified with embarrassment, but you were far too warm out and pained at the moment to care if the students knew that yes, you too had some family drama.
Larissa was mortified, she shouldn’t know this. She shouldn’t know want of this. She had already taken far too much of you and the girl’s private conversations as her own.
“For someone who cares so much about family, it seems odd that you would erase them from your past, Miss Frump.” Wednesday shot back, and you froze, dropping the pot you were holding, hearing the echo of it shatter on the floor more than anything.
Larissa felt her heart drop.
Never.
Not once had she ever called you that.
She had never called you by your given name, even Morticia didn’t. She crossed a line and she knew it. You turned around very slowly, incredibly slowly, and Larissa, hidden as the girl in the back, swallowed.
She needed to stop this, hell, she had never been as furious with Wednesday as she was now, seeing the hurt on your face.
You had already been watching her closely, there was a chance you knew, but if she left to allow herself to come in as herself, it would be handing you the proof. She had no way of stopping this without revealing herself.
Enid whimpered, ducking her head at the tension, and all students in the room held their breath. You stared at your niece for a moment, your eyes showing nothing except cold betrayal, and she realized just how badly she had fucked up.
Wednesday fought the urge to shrink back from you as you took a few strides towards the back of the greenhouse, collecting a dust pan and going to the pot you had dropped, in utter silence.
You cleaned it up, the tension skyrocketing in the room as every student looked to you wide eyed. You were expressionless, your normally animated features cold, and it terrified Larissa. She knew you wouldn’t harm any student, but with everything she had done to you, and now this?
She was scared.
She was scared how much you could take, if you would just leave before she ever got the chance to apologize to you. Would she ever get the chance?
You dumped the shards of pot in the trash before walking to the front of the classroom, taking the chalk in your hand silently and writing your name up on the board. ‘Dr. Ophelia Florere’ was written up on the board as you sat down on the stool next to it, looking over the class.
“As my niece has decided to point out, I was originally born with the last name Frump, as was my sister, her mother, who you’ve no doubt seen the pictures of in the halls.” You said calmly, and Wednesday, for once, actually looked ashamed. It seemed that this time she knew she went too far. She could feel it in her stomach, the shame burning through her as she kept her eyes stone cold. An ability she had inherited from you, it seemed.
The girl turned those cold eyes down as you addressed the class.
“I don’t have that last name anymore, I haven’t since I was fifteen.” You sighed, and Enid looked at you sadly. “I’m aware my last name is annoying to say, believe me, I understand, please just call me Ophelia, or any variation of that, within reason.” You said calmly, before turning to your niece. “If you, Wednesday, or anyone else would like to refer to me by a name that isn’t mine, they will find themselves in the headmistress’s office, is that understood?” You asked, and the girl just put her head down, nodding.
You smiled roughly, tuning back in to the rest of the class, keeping an eye on the girl in the back. Larissa’s heart broke for you, you looked exhausted. She knew why you hated the name, but to have Wednesday call you such? It was awful,
“Now then, who has questions about the project before it’s handed in?” You asked, and everyone just sat in awkward silence. You waited a moment, looking over the room, you knew very well why they weren’t talking, but you couldn’t do terribly much about it. You could, however, give them an outlet before refocusing them. “Alright, so we can all agree that was incredibly awkward, but we have to get on with the lesson, unfortunately for you all, so we’re going to start with new information, and we can save questions, alright?” You said, and a few of them nodded. You did as well, beginning to go over the plants you were presenting today and their properties.
You had grown a few specimens under glass, however you had drawn up the diagrams for the students to label. Eventually the students began asking questions again, and you relaxed.
“So in nature this plant is toxic to some classifications, which is why I’m keeping it covered, however I have modified it to be harmless in these examples. You’re all free to come take a closer look, if you like.” You explained. “I want you to try to figure out the name of this plant and what it is used for, as well as labeling the diagrams I have given you.” You instructed, watching the students start to get more excited. “You’re welcome to ask as many questions as you like!” You called, sitting at the stool and surveying the room.
You were exhausted, being on your feet was difficult, and you prayed no one noticed.
Larissa did.
“What classification is it toxic to?” Someone asked, and you hummed.
“Any classification that involves the changing of the body, although this sample is harmless, they can contain toxins that will harm any werewolf, shapeshifter, vampire that shifts, or any classofication that can modify their body at will.” You explained calmly, watching carefully for reactions. The girl in the back scrunched her nose in a way that was far too familiar, and you caught her.
Larissa swallowed as your eyes bored into hers. She couldn’t tell if you knew, but it looked like you might with the intensity of your gaze. She swallowed, guilt, and now pure instinctual fear settled over her as her classification was brought up.
“Shapeshifters?” A student asked, and you looked to them, nodding.
“Yes, although, once again, this sample is harmless, if I were to provide a real one the pollen causes any outcast capable of feature manipulation to swell a bit, similar to a severe allergic reaction.” You explained. Wednesday raised her hand, and you looked at her. “I know you know the answer already, but it’s what’s in the curriculum, Miss Addams.” You said calmly, and she narrowed her eyes.
“ Today is Shape shifters?” She glared, and you sighed.
“Today is this plant.” You responded, and the look she gave you would have sent chills through anyone else. You, however, raised your brow, and the girl backed down. It was almost even more frightening to see the girl concede to someone.
Larissa, on the other hand, was shaking in her seat. She needed to leave, now. Of all days for you to cover staffenloch, it had to be today. She knew what it was, and she should have looked over the curriculum before deciding to oversee your class. If she could even call it that.
She was observing you and she knew it.
If she left now, you would know, if you didn’t already, but she felt trapped. Horrifyingly trapped. You wouldn’t expose her in front of the students, but after what she had done to you? She couldn’t blame you. She knew that plant, and she knew it well, that was the plant her father had attempted to use to “cure” her, one of many.
She remembered how it felt like her body was burning alive with fever, how her throat closed up, how the room would get colder and colder as her skin got hotter and hotter.
Your eyes went to the girl Larissa was disguised as, her face gone pale. You could see her shaking, she was nervous, horrified even, and guilt settled in your stomach.
You betrayed her trust and threw her out, you couldn’t even believe she was here, but of all things, why did you need to do this now? Perhaps it would ease if you took your attention off her. You were sure your gaze felt awful after what you had uncovered about her.
You began to walk around the room, looking over each student's sheet. Some of them began with labeling the parts, others began pouring over their books, other still different books about how different plants affected different outcasts.
You chuckled when you saw Bianca was pouring through a book you had written, and leaned down to see the page.
“Ooh, you’re very close.” You smiled, realizing she was looking at something in the same family as the specimen. She jumped, looking up at you.
“Th- thank you!” She startled, before going back to her work.
Larissa felt her breath become shorter, the walls begin to close in. She remembered being shoved into the small broom closet in the basement, she remembered being hungry for days, she remembered her father bringing home “treatments” to cure her “disorder.” She remembered him coming home after work, excited about whatever he had learned that day at the lab he worked at, ready to use it on her.
She remembered it all.
You saw the “new student’s” face turn red, horrified, her eyes watering, and your own widened. She couldn’t truly be that scared of you, could she? You followed her gaze, and saw she was staring directly at the plant. She looked like she might be sick with fear.
Your mind went through a plethora of scenarios, she would be allergic to the active form, however you had modified it to grow without the pollen that she, or any student, would react to, and covered it with glass for any student that recognized it. Even if you hadn’t, unless she ingested it, it was an allergic reaction, hell, to actually harm her, someone would have to- your brain stopped.
Someone would have to turn it into a paralytic, which was entirely possible.
You didn’t know much of Georgianna- Victoria’s past, but you knew that her rarely mentioned brother was the reason she created the hospital. Her brother would have been…
Larissa was reacting like it had been used against her, and it dawned on you just then that it very likely had been.
She was terrified.
You quickly looked around the classroom, no one was looking at you, far too absorbed in their work, and you continued your way through the classroom to her. She couldn’t look up at you, her hands were shaking, the unpainted nails of the student seeming to tint red every few seconds.
It broke your heart for her. You may not show the same way, but you knew how she was feeling. How could you not?
You stood next to her table, putting your body between hers and the plant, blocking her view. Thank god Larissa had sat alone at the back, near the door.
Larissa couldn’t think, couldn’t speak, couldn’t breathe. All she knew was that any second, her body would erupt in pain, and her throat would close until she passed out. She would be choked into the black, horrified that she wouldn’t ever wake up. She couldn’t even process the room around her, not even noticing you had blocked her view.
She felt something warm close over her hands, and she gasped, looking down to see a pair of black gloves covering her hands as you leaned down a bit, your voice low and calm.
“Breathe, nothing can harm you, that plant is modified, even if I took the glass off, it can’t hurt you.” You said gently. Her breath hitched, and she shook her head.
No, no this wasn’t happening, none of this was happening. It was going to hurt her again, and she was terrified.
You were aware of the other students in the room, making sure they could only see your body, not the girl Larissa was at the moment. You, however, could see the woman, how she held her face the same, even if it wasn’t her face.
“Look at me, look into my eyes, love.” You said softly, and Larissa’s eyes snapped up on instinct. She stared at you, horrified, and you just looked into her eyes, her watery eyes, rapidly changing from brown to ice blue and back, and you took a deep breath in, encouraging her to do the same. “Deep breath, breathe with me.” You said gently, and she took a shaking breath in, her eyes searching your grey ones for help. She felt like she was drowning, like everything was spinning, but there you were, your gloves hands over hers, your lips parted slightly to breathe, and your eyes kind.
There was guilt there, yes, and sadness she couldn’t measure, but they were still warm. They were warm, warm and looking at her like you had her, like you would always have her.
“I promise you, I promise you you’re safe, alright?” You said softly, and she nodded shakily, looking down and away from you.
“I’m sorry,” she whispered, and your hands squeezed hers, cutting her off.
“Not a word. Not a single word of apology, not for this.” You said softly, ducking slightly to meet her eyes again. “You’re not feeling well, and I’m going to take you to the infirmary, alright?” You said softly, and she just looked up at you mystified, nodding helplessly. “Alright, deep breath, they’re going to look in a moment, stand close to me, behind my body, they’ll look at me, not you, alright?” You said gently, and she nodded.
How could you do this? How could you be so calm and gentle when her head was so loud and fast? You turned around, facing the students.
“Alright everyone, I have to take someone to the infirmary, I’ll be right back, I trust we can behave while I’m gone?” You said calmly, and the group nodded, giving you and the girl behind you a few curious looks before you led her from the room calmly, only taking her hand once you were well out of eyeshot of the students.
You led her into the main building, leading her up the steps and around the corridors, patient for her considerably shorter than normal legs. Your hand stayed around hers, your thick gloves still warm, and you were still fully able to feel her shaking despite them.
You opened the large doors to her office, quickly leading her inside and shutting the door behind you, sitting her down on the couch and kneeling in front of her. She was shaking worse now, away from the watchful eyes of everyone, in her own environment. Her emotions showed more when she was somewhere safer.
“Alright, alright, deep breath in for me,” you said, taking each hand and squeezing them to get her attention. She startled, looking up to you.
You.
It was just you. It wasn’t her father, it wasn’t anyone trying to harm her, it was just you, and you were safe.
“There you are, you’re alright, love.” You said softly, and she gasped, looking down to realize she had unshifted and was now crying, her hot tears dripping into her own lap. “Larissa, you’re alright, no one can harm you.” You said gently, and she looked at you, her mind spinning for a moment.
And then she collapsed. She fell forward into your arms, burying her face in your chest as she sobbed her apology, you only hushing her and rubbing her back gently.
She could smell you, smell the earthy petrichor and the sweet flower scent that always clung to you. She could feel both the softness and the strength of you under her hands, and it mortified her that this might be the last time she would ever feel it.
“You have nothing to apologize for Larissa, I know what it’s like to see something and feel that kind of fear.” You said gently, and she just sobbed, clutching onto you. You held her for a moment before you had to pull away, leaving her whimpering and desperate for you to come back.
She was broken, a scared shred of her normal self, and it cut you to leave her.
“I’m so sorry love, but I have class.” You said, and she just shook her head, gasping as she attempted to pull herself together, tears still streaming down her face.
You had never seen her like this, not once. Never in your life would you have expected to see the woman dabbing as she was now.
“No, no, you need to go, I’m being a fool.” She swallowed, and your eyes saddened.
“No, you’re not, you’re just-“
“Go, you have students and I- I certainly don’t deserve your comfort.” She hissed, whiling her hands on her dress, and your eyebrows furrowed in confusion, you had no idea what she was talking about. If either of you didn’t deserve the other one, you didn’t deserve to be near her after betraying her trust.
“Larissa, I-“ you stuttered, and she swallowed, shaking her head as she covered her mouth, bracing the top of her hand under her nose.
“No, no you need to go, you have students.” She said, and you sighed, knowing you couldn’t disagree with her.
“Tonight.” You said, and she looked up at you with wide eyes. “We are discussing this, tonight .” You explained, and she looked up at you in shock.
After everything, still you would wait for her, still you would be there for her. It blew her mind, and made the tears only flow harder as you left her office, rushing back to the classroom.
You finished teaching the lesson, and the next, and the next, Larissa never leaving your mind. You worked straight through your lunch period, furiously grading to free your evening. Your final two classes went by without a hitch, you wrapped up that grading within an hour, and you were off.
You moved as quickly and calmly as you could to Larissa’s office, your mind moving at a thousand miles a minute. You needed to talk to her, to sort this out. You had horrified the woman. She had felt mortal fear, and it wasn’t the first time. You needed to make sure she was ok.
You knocked on the door a few times, waiting for her answer. Your heart raced, what if she wouldn’t let you in- what if she couldn’t- what if-
“Ophelia?” You heard softly from the other side of the door. It was almost a whimper and it broke your heart. You hummed, attempting to choke back the worry in your voice, knowing you were failing.
“Yes, it’s, I’m here.” You said as softly as you could through the door, and you heard the lock turn.
You opened the door, whipping inside and closing it behind you. You turned to face her and realized in horror that she was slouched against the other door, leaning against it in a puddle on the ground.
You gasped, instantly locking the door and kneeling down, shocking the woman when you wrapped your arms around her and pulled her close. Heaven help you, you wished you could take all the pain away.
Larissa didn’t know what was happening, you were holding her, why were you holding her? You should be angry at her, scared even, yet here you were on the floor with her, pulling her into your arms and holding her close to your chest.
“It’s ok, it’s going to be ok,” you whispered, rocking her slightly in your lap. At any other moment she would have moved off of you, worried about her weight, but right now all she could do was sob.
“Why!” She cried, and you just held her tighter, gritting your teeth against the storm of emotions you knew she was going through. “Why are you doing this? Why are you helping me?” She cried, pushing you away, and you shook your head, furrowing your brows. You had no idea what she was talking about.
“What? I- I-“ you stuttered, unable to find the words.
“I hit you!” She practically yelled, horror and self hatred spilling from her as the damn broke. Rage and sadness mixed to form an anguish at herself she had never felt before, not in this way.
Larissa had hated herself many, many times. She had hated what she was, she had hated who she cared for, she had hated how lonely she was, how miserable. She had hated what she could do, and what she couldn’t. She had hated everything, she hated, hated, hated herself and she just wanted to-
“I don’t.” You whispered, and she looked at you in shock, realizing she had been whispering to herself as her hands dug into her thighs with rage, her body shaking.
“What?” She breathed, and you just shook your head. Your eyes were wide, you looked- you looked bare.
She had seen your naked body, seen you sob and nearly break down, but she had never seen you so openly nervous and honest as she did right now, in this moment, on the floor, sprawled all over eachother.
If there was ever a time, you thought to yourself, now was it.
“I don’t hate you.” You swallowed, your throat closing up a bit. It always did when you tried to talk about these things, there was a reason you didn’t. “I- I think you’re beautiful.” You swallowed, closing your eyes for a moment and finding your nerve.
You took her hands in your own when you opened them, the other woman gaping at you. Touching her you were touching her again.
“I think you are quite possibly the strongest, kindest person I’ve ever met.” You choked, finding your words. “You are truly, truly beautiful, inside and out, good god you’re stunning,” you chuckled, blinking back tears. “And you- when I’m around you, I feel- I feel safe,” you tried, your throat closing up a bit further and breaking the words. “I feel safe, and happy, like I’ve never felt before, like I can- like I can hold your hands.” You said softly, looking down at your joined hands. You smiled a bit, taking your hands away only to pull off your gloves, surprising her.
You breathed in shakily, you had just had a near meltdown a day ago, you were still incredibly fragile. Yet it was her. You took her hands gently, and she gasped. Your skin was so soft, so warm, it felt like- like that’s where hers were meant to be, that they just fit in yours so well.
“How can you not be angry?” She asked you, and you sighed, shaking your head. You even laughed a little, making the woman look up at you in shock.
“Do you think I don’t know why you hit me?” You asked, and the woman went silent.
“Well, I-“ She stuttered, and you just shook your head.
“I- yes, it was wrong, that is true, but I understand you were panicking. You were watching me- watching me panic, I don’t blame you.” You said, your voice heavy, but soft in a way. She just stared at you. “If anything, I’m shocked you’re so willing to forgive me after I- after I broke my promise.” You swallowed, your voice dropping, and her brows furrowed as she tried to understand what you were saying.
“What?” She asked, and you breathed in tensely.
“The report, with your professor, I had no right to know that happened to you, much less to react to it, I shouldn’t know these things unless you feel comfortable enough to tell- mmph!” Your words were cut off as the woman kissed you, pushing you back against the door.
“You thought I was cross with you?” She asked, and you panted, swallowing.
“Are you not?” You managed, and she just shook her head.
“How could I blame you for reading that, accidentally, when trying to protect, to protect a child?” She asked, and you swallowed, being truly stopped in your tracks, a rare event.
“I- Larissa, I broke a promise, I promised to you that I would never look at your file, not without your permission, that I would wait for you to tell me and-“
“I trust you.” She said suddenly, and you completely stopped, looking at her as shock settled on your face.
You knew many, many things about Larissa Weems. You knew she always wore her red lipstick because it made her feel put together. You knew she had once fallen in love with your sister. You knew she was incredibly intelligent, just as much as she was headstrong. You knew she had been betrayed by love that was conditional time, after time, after time.
You knew that she didn’t trust anyone anymore because of it. You knew that just the idea of trusting someone to see her at anything less than a pillar of perfection and strength horrified the woman.
And she had just said she trusted you.
“What?” You breathed, and the woman swallowed, taking your hands and almost crawling over you, situating herself so her face was inches from yours.
“I trust you.” She repeated, and your heart stopped. She leaned in slightly, her lips so close to yours, and you heard the words, the ones in your head you had been thinking of for a few days now. The ones you never said.
Until now.
“I love you.” You whispered, so soft in the night it was as if you were terrified of the words coming from your own lips.
Hers crashed over yours only seconds later.
Notes:
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Chapter 26: Blooming
Summary:
Larissa realized just how long she has been with you, just how far your influence has reached, and just how close you want her all in one evening. You never want it to change.
WARNING: Medical talk/some blood/ smut
Notes:
Thank you my darlings! I am so sorry for the wait, I had quite a bit going on, however I am happy to be back and hope you enjoy this chapter! Please let me know what you think, and if you really enjoy it, feel free to leave me a tip! It helps me keep writing and update more regularly!
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Chapter Text
“I love you, Larissa.” And she pinned you to the door, tears filling her eyes as warmth, warmth like she hadn’t known she needed flooded her body.
You loved her.
You loved her.
You loved her .
It was almost too much for her to believe, perhaps she didn’t, perhaps it wasn’t possible, but the feeling it gave her when you said it made her want to throw caution to the wind. She could, just this once, she decided. Just this once she would beleive the words that she craved, that had never been truly meant before.
Your blood was rushing in your ears as the woman kissed you, pressing your upper body against the door as you both half laid on the floor. You moaned, chasing her lips as she wrapped her hands around your waist, straddling your lap and pulling you up into her, making you gasp in shock.
“I- I’m sorry,” you whispered, and she just shook her head, her lips going to your neck as you panted against the door, your hand slapping against it as you attempted to keep yourself upright, your mind spinning. “I- I didn't know what else to say- I- I know you barely know me-“ you breathed, a gasp breaking from your chest as she locked her lips around your pulse point. The woman was ravenous, and you were helpless.
“I love-“ she began, only for you to cut her off, pulling her lips to your own, cutting her off.
“Don’t,” you whispered, and Larissa pulled back, her eyes looking down at you. “Please, just- just let me- just- this-“ you said, taking her hand and placing it on your chest, panting and staring up at her, looking up through heavy eyelids. “I want you, Larissa, I want this, don’t- don’t say things like that.” You whispered, “Don’t say things that can hurt you.” You breathed and she swallowed, her own face still flushed red.
“Then let me tell you this.” She said, her hand reaching up to the top button of your blouse, undoing it slowly. If you wouldn’t allow her to tell you how she felt, she could at least tell you what she thought. “That I think you are the most fascinating, intelligent, kind woman I’ve ever met.” She swallowed, her hand shaking a bit as she felt you begin to pant a little harder.
Beautiful, you were beautiful. Every reaction she pulled from you made liquid heat settle in her core, made her desperate to touch, to taste more of your skin.
She traced the outline of your chest over the blouse, up your throat, to the collar of your turtle neck, before her fingers hooked around it and she pulled your lips nearly to hers.
“I feel the same, Ophelia, I have for a while now,” she swallowed, and for the first time, you picked up on the woman actually being nervous.
Larissa Weems, nervous. Would wonders never cease?
She felt like a fool, her hands trembling, her words failing her. You had come to mean so much to her, but she knew, she knew if she told you everything she thought you would run, so for now, she would have to follow your rules, even if it scared her.
“I- don’t, please don’t run from me,” she almost begged, her voice so low and broken you could tell that the weight of every former lover, every person to have claimed to love her, was on her mind.
“Larissa,” you swallowed, leaning in until your lips were almost touching, and the gorgeous woman looked at yours, dying to inch closer again. “I’m here.” You whispered, and she crashed against you all over again, her lips marking yours as her own, likely smearing her pristine red lipstick all over you. You trembled under her touch, and she loved it.
She wrapped her hands in your hair, tugging at the roots, making your mouth fall open in a moan as she continued to make a mess of you. You nearly squeaked when the woman slipped her tongue into your mouth, tasting you, until you moaned at her own taste.
Good, so good, she tasted so, so fucking good, it was like everything else fell away. Only the senses she commanded stayed. You could feel her hands on you, you could taste her lips and tongue, you could hear her breath panting, just as yours did.
“Still alright?” She panted, pulling away to check in on you, and you absolutely melted, nodding as you swallowed down the emotions running wild in your chest. God, this woman would be the end of you.
“Yes, yes please,” you nodded helplessly, and the woman chuckled a bit, grabbing you by the hand as she stood, pulling you up with her. She swallowed as she saw the way your eyes darkened, the slight swelling of your lips from where she had kissed you, you were panting, blushing wildly, your normally wild hair was much worse now, and the woman couldn’t help but groan at how you looked.
You were unsteady on your feet, something not unnoticed by her as she wrapped her arm around your waist, holding you to her.
“Are you alright?” She asked you lowly, and you knew red and white flowers erupted in your hair, making the woman looking down at you smile. “You told me red means you want something.” She whispered, and you shuddered in her hands. You knew what you wanted. You wanted the woman to you touch you, you wanted to touch her, you wanted to be able to peel all the clothes off and have every fear you had fall off with them. You wanted her against you, touching you, filling you, it was filthy and you didn’t care, you just wanted it all.
“I want-“ you tried, swallowing when the lump in your throat cut you off. “I-“ you stuttered, just looking up at her as the flowers bloomed brighter and brighter, and your face became redder and redder.
You were not a shy woman, you never were, if anything, you were flirtatious and bold, but this, with her, you didn’t know. You ducked, hiding your face as you struggled to find the words, only to feel a warm hand settle on your chin, tilting your face up. It was so unlike you to be like this, but then again, things like this didn’t happen for you.
You looked into her eyes, her beautiful, warm eyes. Eyes you could trust your very life with, eyes you could get lost in forever. Like hydrangeas, grown in the perfect soil.
“Would you like to come back to my rooms, Ophelia?” She asked you, and you breathed in, closing your eyes for a moment, allowing yourself to attempt to calm before you swallowed, nodding.
You could do this. You were fine, you were safe, you trusted her, she-she had you. It would be ok. If you were with her, it would be ok. You took a deep breath, calming your shaking hands.
“Yes please.” You whispered, and she smiled, leaning down to kiss you again-
Right as the door knocked.
You were both snapped out of the moment instantly, pulling away from each other as you bloomed red and she flushed furiously.
“Principal Weems, the guest artist arrived earlier than expected.” Someone called from outside, and Larissa’s eyes went wide. She had completely forgotten about that in the midst of, well, everything.
She had convinced a singer, one quite popular in London, actually, to visit the school, given the woman was a known outcast and now somewhat of an authority in music. She immediately shifted a bit, fixing her hair and makeup and messily buttoning up her own shirt from where you had pulled it open partially, smoothing her hands over her suit skirt as you readjusted your blouse and vest, throwing your jacket over the back of the love seat by the fire and sitting yourself down on it, pulling the roses from your hair and throwing them into the fire, breathing slowly in an attempt to calm yourself down to prevent new ones from blooming.
You stood, making your way on shaky legs to the loveseat and sitting on it calmly, looking back to Larissa and giving her a nod. The woman swallowed, her eyes looking at you apologetically, and you just smiled, shaking your head.
“It’s alright,” you whispered, and she shuddered, her hands flexing.
“Perhaps for you,” she mumbled, and you laughed a little, smiling as she shook out her hands and plastered a smile on her face. “Wait, you have…” she trailed off as she rushed over and wiped her own lipstick from your lips, your eyes darkening as she did so, making her shudder. Her thumb was on your lip, and she could feel your hot breath panting against it. She swallowed, if she pressed in, just a bit, she could feel the soft velvet of your tongue-
“Larissa,” you panted, pulling away and swallowing, using your own, now gloved, hands, to try to wipe away the feeling as you pressed your thighs together. Fuck, this woman got to you.
“I’m sorry, I-“ she stuttered, realized she had practically been holding you by the jaw.
“I am too, for the timing.” You smiled a bit, and the woman blushed, her mind seeming to short circuit a bit. You had gotten to her, it seemed, and the woman blushed again, feeling her own body react in, delicious ways, at the mental image of what you would have done, if not for the timing.
She took a deep breath, attempting to compose herself, succeeding, barring what you knew to be to true. You watched in quiet amusement as she opened the door, her voice fixing to a polite tone that made you smile gently.
“Forgive me Miss Elena, I was having a discussion with my colleague.” She said, ushering the woman in.
You hid a smile before you looked up, examining the new woman. She was about a medium height, looking up at Larissa with a wide smile through massive red hair. It looked quite similar to yours actually, if you had straightened it, something you noticed with interest.
She had bright, bright green eyes, and a sculpted face. It made sense that the woman was a singer, she looked beautiful, and you thought you recognized her from some poster or something. You stood up gently, having pulled your gloves on already, preparing to introduce yourself and go.
“It’s a pleasure to meet you Miss Weems, and- Angel?” She said, shocked, and your eyes went wide before you quickly schooled your features into neutrality. You wouldn’t reveal yourself before you confirmed she knew you from what it seemed she did.
“Pardon?” You asked, and the young woman swallowed, walking to you slowly, as if she was mystified. You tilted your head, standing to meet her.
Latissa watched closely, she wasn’t quite sure what was happening, but she did know that she had only ever heard one group of people call you that, and if this was one of them…
Your work might have stretched farther than she thought.
“My god, it’s- medic, I-“ she stuttered, and you furrowed your brows. You didn’t recognize her, which was odd, you remembered every face that went through the hospital, unless…
“A stone’s throw through the forest, sit three kind birds in a row.” She said lowly, slowly, and your eyes widened at hearing the rhyme, one that was taught to every child that went through the hospital, to identify themselves to others, should they need help.
“The Owl, the Eagle and the Raven, who’s deep dark house still glows.” You finished, and she breathed out in utter relief, as did you.
“It’s you,” she breathed, and you tilted your head, still not recognizing the woman.
“Are your clothes a little ill fitting, Miss?” You asked softly, speaking in code, much to Larissa’s surprise, and the woman’s eyes filled with tears.
“Yes,” she laughed a bit, cracking her neck and turning, you smiled as the woman spoke to you, looking at Larissa with excitement in your eyes as she looked at you, confused.
“I’m sorry, miss Elena, I didn’t know you knew our- oh!” The woman breathed as Elena turned back around, considerably shorter and with mousy brown hair, her eyes a more muted green now. You smiled brilliantly, making the girl laugh and un up to you, now only 4’11, but you stepped back, saddening her.
It seemed some things never changed, but Larissa’s breath hitched, you still wouldn’t touch others, but her? You would touch her?
“Eliana,” you said calmly, and she nodded, her wide eyes beginning to water.
“I’m sorry I- I should have called, I should have written or something, but I- I was-“ she was panicking, something both you and Larissa noticed.
“It’s ok,” you cut the girl off, and she looked up at you helplessly.
“No, it’s not! You helped me, you gave me everything, all of you and I just-“
“Eliana, it’s ok .” You repeated softly, and the young woman just stared at you. You had an idea of what she was referring to, you tended to keep tabs on most of the people who had been under your care, and the last time anyone had heard from Eliana she was working in the red light district.
It wasn’t unheard of, for many of the young shifters, they knew that their body was something they could use, and despite everything you would teach them, the home you would provide, some still turned to that.
“I was ashamed.” She swallowed, and you tilted your head, looking down at the young woman slightly. Larissa knew that shifters tended to be very tall, like her, or very short, like this young woman, apparently, but she had never actually seen someone as small with her ability. It was startling, in a way.
“Eliana- Elena, whatever you would like me to call you, I wouldn’t be ashamed dear, nor would Georgianna, or anyone.” You said easily, and Larissa just watched the interaction, mildly shocked, and still incredibly turned on.
You were so gentle with the young woman, not so unlike her, and no matter how many times she saw it, it would never stop surprising her. She watched you carefully, unsure of what to say, it’s true this woman was her guest, however if you had raised her, even in part, she would just have to see what was happening.
“I ruined it, I wasted everything you gave me.” She said, her eyes falling, and you sighed, ducking a bit to get the woman’s attention, making her look at you despite herself.
It was then that Larissa really realized it, that you weren’t touching again.
You had touched Mirella, and Jenkins,over your clothes, but the only others permitted to touch you, still through clothes and gloves, were the children, even if you had been more loose at the manor house in the country.
She hadn’t seen you let anyone touch your skin other than Wednesday, Wednesday and her, and it made the woman swallow as she realized, once again, how much it really meant.
You stared at the girl for a moment, narrowing your eyes slightly. You glanced from her, to Larissa, back to her, before sighing and making your decision.
“Are you alive?” You asked her, and she scoffed, shaking her head.
“Yes, of course I’m alive, but-“
“Are you free?” You asked her, and again she dodged the question, earning herself a glare before she conceded.
“Yes, but even then I-“
“Can you use your abilities?” You asked her, and she relented, deciding to only give in to the the point you were making.
“Yes, doctor.” She said, and you smirked, raising a brow. Larissa’s eyes grew wider with every question you asked. If this woman had really squandered all the work you put in, if she had wasted it, like Larissa had so often been accused of, is this really all you asked? You didn’t guilt her, or blame her, Latissa remembered being punished for her abilities, for how they ruined all of the “gifts” her parents had given her. Education, a home, food, clothing, all things she was a waste of, because of what she was. And yet you, you were only worried about the woman’s saftey?
“And do your abilities cause you harm?” You asked her, and she shook her head, making you fold your arms as you looked at her, only now evaluating the woman you had known when she was a girl.
“You look well.” You smiled, and she shook her head. You didn’t understand, she had done- she had debased herself, used her body, done things you had saved her from ever having to do, just to get ahead, knowing she could have gone back home to the hospital at any time. And she wasted it.
“Yes, yes, I do well, and my career is- it’s everything to me, and I love doing this, visiting schools and promoting outcast wellbeing and it’s just- it’s just not fair.” She swallowed, and you sighed, pitying the poor girl. You knew the feeling, you knew what it felt like to think it not fair to have survived.
“You do not have to feel guilty for having lived.” You said easily, and she looked up at you, shame in her eyes.
“That’s not why I’m guilty.” She said, and you furrowed your brows, looking to Larissa again and reaching for her, asking for her hand with your own.
Larissa swallowed, her eyes wide for a moment. You were doing it again, you were reaching for her touch again.
Not just for, for carnal reasons, but for comfort, support in the moment. The first time you had done it you were sitting on a couch with your niece in your lap, trying. To recount one of the worst things to ever happen to you without showing it, and now, in this moment, you asked for her comfort again, for something as simple as finding the strength to console someone you once knew.
“Sit Eliana,” you instructed, nodding to the chair in front of Larissa’s desk, and she did so.
“Can you braid?” You whispered to Larissa, who looked at you confused, but nodded. She had often braided some of the younger students’ hair as a teacher, and while none asked her now, given her position, she did enjoy it. She wanted to ask why, but the look in your eyes told her it wasn’t the time, not now.
“What style?” She asked you, and you smiled up at her, taking her hand through your gloves out of sight of the other woman, and kissing it softly, making heat once again pool in Larissa’s hips, even at the gesture of adoration.
Adoration.
You adored her, and it was so clear, and it brought tears to her eyes. The thanks you bestowed upon her.
“You’ve heard of Larissa?” You asked the girl, who nodded.
“Of course, I’m fairly certain someone made a picture book of her at some point.” She scoffed, and Larissa blushed as you chuckled, winking at her.
“She’s quite an admirable person, isn’t she.” You sighed, your eyes trailing over the woman just a touch too long, making her blush further before you pulled yourself together. “I can’t touch at the moment love, not even with my gloves, but I want to look at your hair, if that’s alright?” You said, and the girl cringed. You frowned. Eliana had HATED washing her hair. Many of them did, but her hair often ended in mats and tangles, and she knew it as soon as you said it.
She hung her head, fully in shifting, and your lips twitched down as Larissa’s eyes widened slightly before schooling herself. It wasn’t bad, comparatively. Plenty of knots, but no mats this time. You sighed, and the young woman, still a girl to you, cringed.
“I’m sorry.” She whimpered, and you crouched in front of her, looking up into her eyes, catching her attention.
“Does it hurt?” You asked her, and she shook her head.
“No, I- I’ve been having trouble feeling it.” She swallowed, and you nodded.
“Alright, I’ll get my kit, are you alright if Larissa brushes your hair?” You asked her, and she nodded. You looked to Larissa, taking her hand as you stood, running your gloves thumb over her, making her shiver. You leaned up close, to whisper to her. “Can you stay with her for a moment?” You asked her, and she nodded.
“Ophelia,” she breathed, as you turned to go. “Is she…” she trailed, and you nodded.
“The hair is defense, the numbness is because she’s been doing it too long.” You swallowed, squeezing her hand again as the woman shuddered. Apparently Eliana had been shifting to hide her appearance for long, too long. Larissa knew the young woman as an excellent singer, the idea that she was hiding this underneath, she understood it, but it scared her nonetheless.
“How do you know her?” Eliana asked, and Larissa jumped, turning from where she had been staring at the door to her. She tried to find the words.
“I- well Miss Elena-“
“I just saw the angel grab your hand, you can call me Eliana.” She sighed, turning to face Larissa, who swallowed in an attempt to play it off as if she had no idea what the young woman was on about. Eliana just laughed, and waved her off, her eyes much more weathered looking like this.
“Why do they call her angel?” Larissa eventually asked, and Eliana hummed, trying to find the words.
“I’ve been out for a few years, I- I’ve made mistakes, I wasted much of the sacrifice she gave me, but I remember when we started calling her that.” She said, the regret clear on her face. “The Angel Medic, Ophelia, she’s a myth, she’s become more than a person.” The woman tried to explain. “For many, she is the last thing they see, they taste freedom for the first time in her arms, and she fights like nothing I’ve ever seen to save them.” She said, her throat closing a bit.
Larissa felt her own do the same, picturing you as best she could. She had seen you, covered in blood, standing up again from your knees, the fire in you like nothing she had ever seen. She could imagine you, a rifle in your hand, your hair tied back, in the black combat outfit she had once seen you in, holding someone taking their last breath, trying in vain to prevent it.
“For the lucky ones,” the young woman continued, “When she comes to you, when she finds you, and she saves you, she gets you out,” the woman said, her eyes glossed over, almost misty with the memory. “She is the most beautiful creature you have ever seen, an Angel pulling you from hell.” She breathed, almost reverently, Larissa’s breath being stolen from her. She could imagine you like that, reaching for her, your gloved hands pulling her up, pulling her away, into safety. It made her eyes water and her heart pound, her cheeks glow with warmth as her body threatened to shiver. Neither woman, however, had heard you enter the room silently, now standing at the back, a slight anger simmering in you.
“You know my name, and my callsign is Medic, no matter what you insist on calling me, but I am no angel, Eliana.” You sighed, making them jump as you walked further into the room, dropping the black bag on the ground by your feet. Larissa swallowed, looking at it. The last time she had seen it you had come back drenched in blood, and had thrown her from your rooms, it made her chest tighten a little, her mouth go slightly dry as she remembered that night. She didn’t realize how intensely she was staring at it until your gloved hand closed around hers, squeezing it.
“It’s alright, I’m not going anywhere.” You whispered lowly, and the woman’s wide blue eyes turned to you. Watching as you seamlessly transitioned from the woman she knew, the teacher, to a kind, but now clinical person, looking to care for the woman in front of you.
You pulled your loose curls back, tying them up before you opened your kit, exchanging your leather gloves for a second pair of very thick medical ones. You then pulled out something that looked to be a cross between a letter opener and a knitting needle, standing in front of the girl and sighing.
“Hands?” You asked, and she swallowed, bringing forth her hands. You took them gently, turning them over and over and examining. For what, Larissa had no idea, but then again her doctor had barely known how to treat her, and you, you were practically a specialist. You hummed, pulling out a pair of glasses from the kit and examining closer. It made her shiver a bit, seeing you peer down through the glasses, the attentiveness witch which you studied the young woman striking.
You hummed, handing her a hairbrush from the kit, and she snapped out of her reverie, taking it and putting her attention also on the other woman, not what it would be like for you to look at her that closely. What it would feel like to have your storm grey eyes roam over every inch of her, just looking, followed by your hands, your deliciously warm hands and then-
“Tingling?” You asked, and Eliana shook her head, snapping Larissa out of it and making her focus on the ends of the hair, beggining to work out the knots.
She swallowed as she realized you had crouched in front of the young woman, nearly putting you on your knees in front of her.
“Numbness?” You tried again, and the young woman looked down and away, making you sigh. “You know you cant push yourself that hard, you will deteriorate your nervous system with the constant changing.” You said, still calm, and she sighed.
“I know, I know, but it’s the only way I can keep up with-“
“Harming yourself, permanently, mind you, is not worth ‘keeping up’ with your appearance, dear.” You instructed her, and the woman glared at you.
“Says you.” She retorted, and you stilled for a moment, shooting her a warning glance before continuing, making Larissa feel the edge between you two. The young woman was getting at something, and while she didn’t know where it was going, she certainly didn’t like the way you reacted to it.
“Miss Elena, May I remind you that you are still a guest here, and the doctor here is in my employ.” She said cooly, and your eyes snapped to the tall woman from where you were, widening slightly. That was new, she was, defending you?
You swallowed, clearing your throat and setting back to work as a blush threatened to stain your cheeks.
“Misplacement of touch or feeling?” You asked Eliana, and she stared for a moment. You could see the guilt rising in her face. “Eliana…” you sighed, and she stared at you.
“It’s- I need- I need the control.” She tried, and you glared at her.
“There are other forms of control to exercise, you can seriously harm yourself with-“
“That’s why the numbness happens?” Larissa asked curiously, and both you and Eliana froze, turning to face the woman slowly.
Your eyes widened with a concern so fierce it took Larissa’s breath away.
“Oh bloody hell.” Eliana sighed, as you snapped up, immediately scrambling to her side and taking her hand, adjusting your glasses as you turned it over in your own, inspecting her carefully as you launched into a tirade of questions.
“When! Now? Currently? When was the last time- how long did it last- what were you doing prior? Don’t do that again!” You scolded in a matter of seconds, grabbing her by the hips and placing her on the desk, sitting her there before you did the same with Eliana.
“I- I’m not sure, why?” She asked you, and you groaned, glaring at both of them.
You were concerned, Larissa realized. Very, very concerned, over her. She knew you were passionate, and knew your mind for science and medicine meant you often studied individuals with intensity, but to be the subject of your attention, in this way, it made her shiver.
“If this involves the chart, I swear to god-“ Eliana began, as you pulled out a plethora of vials, instruments, a few small electronics and a whole host of other things.
“ You know better.” You glared at Eliana, who just shrugged. The young woman was one of the first you had saved and worked on, meaning she wasn’t considerably younger, and much prefered to ignore your scolding.
“You,” you sighed, pointing at Larissa over your shoulder as you dug through your bag. “Need a new physician.” She watched as once again your mood, almost your personality began to change.
You were a little more jumpy, almost, more excited, as if you were going to get to talk about something you were extremely passionate about. It failed to dawn on Larissa that this was the researcher side of you, and that the main subject of the work you were about to dive into again was her classification.
“If you’re going to nerd out, at least play music so I don’t get bored.” Eliana spoke next to her, and she looked at the shorter woman, raising a brow. “Oh, she used to play music in the lab when she ran tests or checkups on us.” She explained, and Larissa swallowed a bit.
Tests… she didn’t like tests. Her father had liked tests, he had subjected her to a few to try to curb the “symptoms” of her “disorder” He only stopped when one such test had left her bed bound for nearly a week, after which he would bring home things now and then, but never ran experiments on her again.
“Naturally, resquests?” You asked, pulling up your phone and a small speaker from the bag, connecting the two before scrolling through songs.
“Hey Angel, she’s looking a little pale…” Eliana murmured, and you bit back a glare before realizing that the woman was talking about Larissa. You whipped around, lifting your glasses up and moving closer. You could see her swallowing, fear in her eyes, and immediately understood.
“Alright, alright,” you said calmly, pushing your glasses back on your head and replacing the medical gloves with your standard ones. “Larissa,” you whispered her name, taking her hand, and she swallowed, chuckling in an unsure way as she wiped away tears that didn’t exist. A controlling gesture, you realized.
“Oh I’m fine, perfectly fine, apologies, no idea what came over me.” She rushed, shutting down, and you nodded slowly, recognizing it, you didn’t know who her father was, but you had a vague idea of what he was capable. Your blood threatened to boil if it weren’t for your worry for the woman.
“We don’t have to do anything, I was going to give you a rudementery checkup is all, with your consent, but we don’t have to, if you feel healthy that’s what matters, alright? I’m going to put my things away.” You said calmly, turning to pack up only to feel her hand wrap around your elbow, pulling you back to her. To Eliana’s surprise, you didn’t flinch.
“I can do it- I can, you know.” She said, and you could see the strength this woman had, how unwavering it was. You knew she could, you knew she could do practically anything, however that didn’t mean you wanted to see her struggle.
“I do.” You said, and she stared at you, lifting her head a bit and squaring her shoulders. You could see the guard go up, and while you understood it, it saddened you greatly.
She could do this, she told herself. It was silly, ridiculous actually, entirely juvenile to be afraid of something as commonplace as a checkup. Especially from someone like you, especially from you yourself. She swallowed, once again meeting your eyes.
“If you think it would be beneficial to me, then I am more than capable of-“
“Perhaps you could help me with Eliana first? I work a little differently from other doctors, and while I’m good with this, her hair does need sorted,” you offered, and she looked at you, evaluating fro a moment. She knew what you were doing, of course she did, she was a very intelligent woman. She knew when you were giving her an out, allowing her to adjust, giving her space. Yet it still touched her that you did.
Eliana looked at the woman and nodded.
“I- I used to have the medic do it, but if you don’t mind…” she trailed, and Larissa looked at her sweetly, warming your heart.
“Of course.” She agreed, and you handed her the brush, allowing her to stand behind where Eliana perched on the desk and begin to detangle her hair again.
You pulled out the remaining instruments, looking to the two shifters with nothing short of love in your eyes. She looked so at home, helping with one of your former wards, and it broke you open and stitched you together at the same time.
“Will you still play something?” Eliana asked you, and you hummed, nodding as you pulled your odd, knitting needle like tool again. It really was just a short metal prod with a point on the end, not sharp enough to break skin, but enough to feel.
“What would you like?” You asked her, and Larissa eyed you both curiously. You settled into the pattern very easily, something she noticed. You had done this before, many times. You had given many of these exams, to many shifters, she knew you had studied her classification, she had seen how many were at the hospital, but the gentleness and familiarity with which you conducted yourself was such a stark contrast to what she knew, it still surprised her.
“Something personal, I have a theory.” The girl said, and you stilled, grimacing a moment. You had many recordings of Georgiana playing, a few of yourself, a good many of Jenkins and Mirella, even a few of Wednesday, but knowing the romantic seated on top of the desk in front of you, she would choose- “I want the one you would play when you couldn’t sleep, your calming one, with her practicing in the beginning and the voices, don’t skimp on me.” She said, and you sighed, closing your eyes as a flush settled on your face and you turned around to glare at the young woman.
“So it is the same Larissa!” She laughed, and the woman behind her stilled her hands in her hair, looking at you.
“You have- what is she talking about?” The woman asked, confused and slightly nervous. You turned even redder, pink and white flowers blooming in your hair. You really were blushing then, and she began to feel a bit dosconcerted. “Ophelia?” She pushed, and you sighed.
“I- do you ever remember my sister making, tapes, of you playing piano?” You asked, and her eyes went wide.
Oh no.
“She- she said they were so she could listen to them while studying!” Larissa flushed bright red, and you grimaced.
“Well, one of us was studying?” You tried, and a look between smitten and highly unamused settled on Larissa’s face.
“Come on, just play it already, she was your favorite for a reason, it’s beautiful.” Eliana said, and both of you glared at her.
“Alright, hang on, hang on, I have to find her folder.” You sighed, and Larissa only glared at you more. She was going to kill Morticia.
“There’s a folder? ” She questioned, and you did your best to look anywhere else. You sighed, shaking your head.
“Heaven help me.” You breathed, finding the recording the younger of the two was referring to. First there came a few plunked notes, followed by a giggle from one voice and a frustrated sigh from another, slightly farther away.
“I- it’s not ready yet!” Came a frustrated young Larissa, and her jaw dropped as both you and Eliana smiled almost unconsciously.
“You never think it’s ready, it doesn’t have to be perfect, just play !” Morticia yelled on the recording, and you shook your head at your sister’s antics.
“But what if I-“ Larissa spoke, you and Eliana mimicking the next part, much to the current version's shock.
“Move your ass off your hands and play!” Morticia yelled, and you and Eliana whisper-shouted it at eachother, making you both, god forbid , you were giggling, and Larissa, while mortified, found it strangely endearing.
You heard a frustrated sigh before the recording truly began. A few notes, slow at first, almost hesitant. They rang out dissonantly, softly, and you closed your eyes for a moment, sighing.
There had been many, many nights throughout your life when no one could touch you, no one could comfort you or caress you.
But her music could. It always could.
Larissa stared on in shock as her younger self began to play, really play, a surprisingly wonderful Clair de Lune, and you listened, your face softening as you swayed your head side to side with the music.
Your entire body seemed to relax, a tension she didn’t realize you were holding seeping out of your limbs. You melted into the music, into her, into the slow, soft chords you had come to know so well, that sounded like a friend to you. That could cradle your soul like a lover, when your skin couldn’t be touched.
She could hear she was still tentative, still nervous of making a mistake as the tempo picked up, the chords building upon themselves as they ascended and descended, building each time.
Your brows furrowed a bit, and she watched as you seemed to loose yourself in it.
“Let it go love,” you whispered, lost in some sort of trance as the song began to reach its peak.
Both you and Larissa could hear the exact moment, seconds later when she became confident, when she began to truly, truly play. And it was breathtaking.
Eliana sat quietly as you cleaned her arm and drew blood, not even flinching.
You continued to sway to the music, Larissa unable to understand how you could be so moved, how she could be so moved by watching you.
She watched, mesmerized, as unaware, you began to grow plants throughout the room. It took her breath away. In the light of the fire, listening to her play, your heart ran away from you, blooming white lilies, beautiful, beautiful star like flowers began to almost glow white along the ceiling.
You closed your eyes, your hands sure and practiced as you delicately ran tests with the small, portable devices you had, doing simple things like taking Eliana’s temperature and recording it, taking a small light and shining it in her eyes, examining them closely as flowers bloomed all around you all, and Larissa’s eyes filled with tears.
The suite began to come to a close, and Larissa watched, mesmerized, as the final vines grew up the walls, rose vines, blooming tens, no hundreds of Juliet roses.
It was entirely unconscious, and it took everything in Larissa not to kiss you then and there. You could say you felt things about her, but seeing them, seeing you quite literally bloom, unconsciously, because of her music, because she calmed you, it moved her like nothing ever had before.
“Any pain?” You hummed, looking over the young woman you were working on, completely unaware of your affect on the room.
“None.” She said as you pressed the needle like object to one of her fingers.
“Eyes closed.” You instructed, only to humm happily, a bright smile lighting up your face as another recording began to play. You tipped your head back, breathing in slowly as you allowed the sound to rush through you. The almost impossible beauty, the precision.
You had often wondered what her hands, those hands that could do this if they so pleased, would feel like. Having learned, it was a comfort you could never imagine.
“Do you still know all of them?” Eliana asked you, as Larissa watched, mesmerized by how her hands could affect you, never even touching you. Little did she know it was the ghost of her hands that had healed you, that had held you, so many nights, all those years ago.
“Miroirs: the third, Une barque sur l’océan, Ravel.” You listed, and Larissa further blushed at realizing you really, truly, did listen to these recordings. Not just played them off hand, you listened to them. You moved your head along with her movements, recorded those years ago, as you tested the woman sitting in front of you.
Her hands spilled wave after wave of calm, of ease over you, and in turn, yours moved with a practiced grace she was touched to witness.
With Eliana’s eyes closed, you now began checking for any signs of neuropathy, pressing the needle like item to one finger at a time and checking her for feedback.
“Third finger,” she said, and you hummed.
“Good.” You replied, and Larissa began to calm. Your hands, while covered, moved slowly, gently, especially when your patient’s eyes were closed.
“Anything?” You asked, pressing to the little finger on her right hand, and the woman swallowed.
“I-“ she tried, and Larissa watched as, for a split second, she could see the worry on your face before you controlled it. The flowers began to wilt, and you paused the recording.
“No.” The woman on the desk whispered, her voice sounding more defeated than it had in years. She opened her eyes slowly, looking at you in such worry it nearly broke your heart.
She knew it was bad for her, but she had always thought- it couldn’t really be that bad- there was no way, it couldn’t!
“Is- is there anything you can- Ophelia- Ophelia I can’t- I need- I can’t loose-“ she stuttered, horror flooding her features.
Larissa felt sick to her stomach. She, admittedly, did not know much about her classification, however she knew that extremities going numb, being unable to feel your skin, these were signs of extreme exhaustion of the ability, and could become permanent. Or worse, the shifter could loose the ability entirely.
“You’re not going to loose anything, I can work with this, we can work with this. You have mild nerve deadening, it’s early, alright, we can stop it, reverse it maybe, but you’re going to have to stop hiding so much.” You said. “At least when you’re alone, you can’t pull this off at a constant rate, it’s not possible.” You said, and she stared at you for a moment, her face breaking.
“Georgianna could.” She said lowly, ashamed of herself, and you sighed, closing your eyes for a moment and putting your hand on your hip as you looked away, trying to ignore the complicated feelings the woman’s name brought you.
It was then, and only then that you noticed what you had done to the room, scoffing at yourself.
“Oh mother of- every time, Ophelia.” You whispered to yourself, flicking your hands and making the vines and flowers dissapear, almost seeing to grow in reverse as opposed to wilting, leaving no trace of themselves.
“I-“ Larissa interrupted you, and you looked to her, noticing how wide her eyes were, how blushed she was. “I- rather liked them.” She said, and you smiled a little, your face betraying a sense of longing about you.
“I’ll- I’ll grow you more.” Was all you said before turning back to Eliana, still sitting on the desk. You had reversed worse. Healing shapeshifters had been the primary focus of your research for years, and you had seen and treated much, much worse. Yet the worry you felt was still palpable. “Alright, I can give you something to boost your energy, but rest please, for the love of god, rest. ” You warned, and she just shook her head.
“How did she do it?” She whispered, and you sighed, shaking your head.
“Eliana, you know very well that not all shifters are-“
“HOW!” The young woman just yelled. You flinched, and immediately Larissa froze, watching your reaction.
“She never faltered, not once! Not a single crack, for years !” Eliana yelled, and you looked to her sadly.
“It- Georgianna wasnt normal, you know that. She was- she was different.” You tried, and the girl just shook her head.
“Fucking skinwalker-“
“HEY!” You yelled, truly yelled, and both women in the room jumped. So you could be loud, palpably so, when you wanted to be. “Don’t you dare. Not to me, not to anyone.” You threatened, and Eliana’s eyes went wide. “I don’t give a shit if you’re pissed about your own actions, but that woman is the reason you’re alive.” You said powerfully, and it startled both of them. “The reason I’m alive, why any of us are, and you have no right, none , to criticize what she had to do to keep us that way.” You snapped, and the woman just shook her head, glaring at you.
She was angry at the situation, at her lack of ability to keep up an impossible standard. Neither of you were actually angry at each other, but Eliana had been one of your first, and as the girl was barely over a decade younger than you, she enjoyed pressing your buttons. At the very least, she knew exactly how.
“What was she, your mummy? Why do you care for the bullshit people call us?” She taunted you, and Larissa’s eyes went wide as she stepped back, practically watching anger roll off you in waves.
“ Don’t .” You warned, and the woman just glared at you, getting up off the table, growing in her anger. You swallowed, looking up at her.
“ Perfect Georgianna, and her little charity case.” She scoffed, moving towards you, and you almost reeled back, Larissa stepping to your side in an instant. The girl grew, and you knew very well how physically strong shapeshifters were. You stepped back, not realizing Larissa was guiding you behind her as you looked up, realizing how truly physically weak you would be compared to the young woman now towering over you.
“So fucking distant, always calm, the both of you! You- and your goddamn lab, what makes you so special? I get it, you don’t have a classification, and she was so wonderful, but why didn’t either of you ever even try to be the same as us! You were always just so much- so much-“
“That’s enough!” The strong voice shocked you, and you snapped your head up, looking at the woman in front of you.
Larissa
“I understand you are upset, Miss Elena, beleive me, I do. However you are in my school, and you will not disrespect my staff, not while you’re a guest here. Do. You. Understand.” She almost threatened, and your eyes went wide.
She didn’t… she did. The woman had just… defended you?
You stared at her in utter shock as she stood in front of you, the younger shifter shrinking down and gathering herself. She sighed, deeply, before pulling it together.
“ Understood .” She bit, and you raised your brows, whatever Larissa had looked like, it was not to be trifled with.
And it did something to you.
The way she stepped in front of you, how she stood up to the other woman. For you. Her body was strong and tall in front of you, her shoulders square, her head held high. She looked down on the younger woman with a challenge in her eyes, making her position clear. Eliana relented, regret settling over her.
She knew what she did, you were stronger than any normie, but compared to a shapeshifter, unless you used your ability, you were very clearly no match. She wasn’t the first of your wards or patients to threaten you, and you doubted she would be the last.
“I’m sorry, Medic, I-“
“I’ll have something to boost your abilities in the morning, rest tonight, don’t shift again, eat heavy and drink more than you think you need.” You instructed flatly, and she cringed. She messed up, she knew she had, but she hadn’t expected the woman with you to stand up for you, she had never seen anyone do that for you, not in the same way, at least.
“Well then. I- Goodnight, medic.” She said, and you sighed, finally looking at her.
“You all do it, you know.” You said, and she looked to you strangely. “All of you, you eventually grow and get mad at us for not treating you like friends, or like normal children.” You sighed, and her eyes went wide, Larissa swallowed as she turned, looking to you.
You looked, regretful. It was one of the saddest things she had ever seen, your face attempting to harden itself over the pain so clearly beneath the surface.
“But we can’t treat you like normal children.” You swallowed. “I wish we could, I wish we could more than anything, but by the time we get you, so much has already been done to you that you are not normal children, and to treat you as such would be a mockery of what you’ve been through.” You said, your voice growing rough as it strained to carry the weight of the words you were speaking. “You hate us for it.” You rasped, looking the woman in the eyes, pinning her with your gaze. “I gave you all everything I had to give, but it won’t be enough to take away your pain, it never will.” You said darkly, your eyes glimmering with tears for just a moment. “Forgive me, that even with everything I am capable of, I cannot take your pain from you.” You finished, and the young woman shuddered as Larissa’s breath was stolen. You turned packing your bag silently to prepare to take it back to your room.
“Medic-“ she tried, reaching for you, only for Larissa to step between you again, still surprising you. She grabbed the woman’s hand by the wrist, keeping her from touching you, and you swallowed.
“I think you’ve said enough for one night.” She said to the younger shifter, and your heart rate picked up once again as she defended you. Eliana left without another word, and you continued packing the bag in silence until it was done.
“I have to put this in my room, and then…”
“Come to mine.” Larissa said, and your breath started again, but you looked at her.
“I want tea.” You countered, and she nodded.
“I- of course, what kind?”
“Lavender.”
“I don’t have-“ You cut her off when you pulled a carton of tea out of the black bag and handed it to her.
“You keep tea in your medical kit?” She asked you, and you nodded stiffly.
“I do, yes.” You swallowed, feeling the blush beginning to stain your cheeks. She was close to you, so close, and she had defended you, twice now.
Your words were failing you as you looked at the beautiful woman, the one who’s lips had been against yours moments ago. Your clothes were too much now, the layers of protection you always wore were now far too tight.
“I- I’ll see you in- a moment.” You swallowed, and Larissa stepped towards you, brushing your hair out of your face as you looked up at her.
Heaven help you, this woman would be your demise.
“Are you alright?” She asked you gently, and you stumbled back against the desk, bracing your hands on it behind yourself. “Ophelia!” She worried, grabbing you around the waist to hold you up. “Darling are you-“
“Stop talking and kiss me,” you breathed, grabbing the woman and pulling her close to you, moaning the second your lips touched hers.
“Oh- oh, ” she moaned, and you whimpered into her mouth. Her hands found your hips, picking you up and sitting you on the desk, and you wrapped your legs around her, pulling her tighter to you.
“Darling, are you sure?” She asked you, and you nodded, your words failing you as your clothing became boarderline sweltering.
You pulled back, looking into ice blue eyes for just a moment. She was so concerned, so worried that it would be too much, that she would harm you.
“Why- why did you stop her?” You panted, and Larissa furrowed her brows in confusion. “Eliana, why did you stop her when she spoke to me, or she tried to reach for me?” You asked her, and Larissa blushed, swallowing the
She had overstepped, clearly. It wasn’t her decision as to whether or not a child you had helped raise should be allowed to speak to you, and here she had thrown the woman out of the room!
You watched as she began to overthink, it was visible on her face, and it broke your heart. She always assumed she was wrong.
You brought your hand up to your lips, taking the tip of your glove between your teeth and pulling it off, making the woman swallow.
How , how on earth did you make that look so good? The way your lips parted just slightly, the softness of the leather between your teeth as you pulled it off your fingers, making her eyes darken as you set the glove on the desk.
She swallowed, feeling a pull in her lower abdomen. She needed you. You had touched her before, but now, now she needed you. She needed to feel your skin against hers, your lips all over her and she, oh how she wanted to taste every inch of you, starting with the very lips that had just pulled off your glove.
And you hadn’t even realized what you had done.
You placed your hand on her cheek, reeling her back in from the worry.
“Larissa?” You said softly, and she swallowed, looking back up to your eyes from where hers had settled on your lips, her face flushing red.
“I- she upset you and- and she- I know you can handle yourself, but I just- you shouldn’t have to do it all alone, she shouldn’t be able to take everything out on you, it’s not fair, you deserve-“ she swallowed, her breath coming in almost pants. “You deserve so much more than that.” She breathed, and you shuddered with breath as you looked up at her.
“Larissa,” you repeated her name again, pulling her down just a little, forcing her to place her arms on either side of you on the desk. “If you’re going to defend me, darling, I need you to kiss me after.” You whispered, and the woman moaned, slamming her lips against yours.
Her hands wrapped around your hips, making you roll them into her. And oh fuck, It just felt so incredibly good! She felt so good, like every touch left you shuddering, every little bit of her skin against yours felt like torture and releif at the same time.
You brought your shaking hands to your vest, unbuttoning it as quickly as possible. You knew you should be worried about your control, it had been engrained into you, but if there was anyone, anyone who could touch you like this, it had to be her.
“Ophelia, are you-“
“Off, take it off,” you panted, inadvertently stopping her from doing just that when you pulled her close, your heart hammering against your ribs as your mind raced. You could do this, this was Larissa, you could do this. You so desperately wanted to be touched by her, for her to touch you, you needed it, you could do this.
The tall woman looked down at you, steadying her hands with your own as she placed hers over you, holding you still. You breathed in sharply, looking up at her in surprise.
She stopped you, why did she stop you?
“Not here, Ophelia, you deserve more than over my desk.” She said softly, and you gasped up at the woman, nodding silently as she pulled you up, putting you back together as you just stood in silence.
You didn’t know what to say. Your whole life you had prided yourself on your ability to be articulate, but with her. She just treated you so, so gently. It broke your heart and made you bloom all at once, as if the tough outer shell you guarded it with cracked, the hard outer seed crumbling from the soft sprout, soon to bloom, working its way through with the soft warm light from the sun. She treated you tenderly, and you flourished in her care.
She gathered your sweater and your jacket, pulling both into her arms as she collected your gloves from the desk as well, setting things back properly before she took your hand, leading you gently to her quarters.
You followed her almost in a haze, entirely unsure of what was happening. She was very calm, and gentle, almost… patient, with you, in a way. As if she wanted to take her time, to be soft.
You just stared up at the beautiful, beautiful woman, your eyes aglow as your flush deepened. She was so beautiful, almost painfully so. The rest of the world seemed mute, falling on deaf ears as everything just became her.
You hadn’t even noticed you had arrived until she said your name softly, and you jumped, turning to realize you were in her bedroom, your outer garments placed on a chair and the door now shut, the woman standing in front of you as you stared up at her in awe.
Even the way she treated your belongings, your clothes…
“I- pardon?” You breathed, and a soft, somewhat amused, smile settled on her face as she looked at you, her ice blue eyes sparkling.
“I asked if you would like to continue, here.” She said, and you nodded slowly, almost unsure. It wasn’t her you were unsure of, not in the slightest. It was yourself. If you lost control, even for a moment…
You had been touched, yes, but not in years, and certainly not in this way. It felt like, you didn’t know what it felt like, but having her there felt right.
You ran a hand over your hair, still up, and stopped for a moment, staring at her. It was Larissa, Larissa who you, who you loved. It would be alright.
“Kiss me again,” you breathed, and Larissa’s eyes almost glimmered in the low light. She took a slow, easy step towards you, and you swallowed, stepping in too.
The woman took her hands to your elbows, before slowly drawing them up your shoulders and around the back of your neck and waist, making you gasp as you leaned into them, looking up at her as red rosettes bloomed in your hair, taking her breath away.
“So sensitive,” She murmured, and you whimpered, wrapping your own arms around her, pulling her close.
You needed her, you needed her now, damn it all. You needed her lips, her touch, her hands, you needed all of her in that very moment.
You pushed her back, startling the woman before you did something that had her nearly shaking. She had seen you topless, yes, but the act of you beating yourself to her, making direct eye contact as you did, had her heating up impossibly more.
You stepped back, sitting on her bed as you began to unbutton your vest, shrugging it off your shoulders before you tossed it to the ground, your eyes burning into hers as your breath began to move quicker. You needed her, now, and you needed her to lead in a way only she could. With passion yet tender care, hunger yet softly, and heaven help you, you’d give her anything she asked for.
She swallowed, her long legs leading her to you without her even realizing it as you began to undo the buttons of your blouse next, slowly revealing the midnight blue satin bra you had worn, cupping your chest beautifully, playing off the gray of your eyes and the red of your hair. She sank down to her knees in front of you, making your breath hitch as she gently placed her hands on your still clothed thighs.
“May I help you, Ophelia?” She asked softly, and your heart nearly shot to your throat.
This woman may very well kill you.
You could still hurt her…
Her thumbs stroked over your thighs, bringing your attention back to her, the blush rising higher still. She had you, you were alright, she had you.
“I- yes Please,” you whispered, dropping your hands to your sides and using the extra support to keep yourself upright as the woman’s perfectly manicured hands, oh those beautiful hands, dropped to your buttons, the red nails slowly manipulating them with ease as your heart began to pound.
She could see the blush rise on your cheeks, just as she could see your chest begin to rise and fall faster, causing her to look up at you, holding your eyes for a moment.
You looked almost scared, certainly nervous, but you were still asking for more. The last thing she wanted to do was push you, and the way you were looking at her, you almost looked desperate, and it was doing things to her she hadn’t felt in years.
“You can stop me at any time, you know.” She encouraged softly, and you nodded, attempting to pull yourself together.
“Yes, yes I know, I- I trust you, Larissa.” You whispered, almost scared to break the spell by speaking too loud.
She blushed, rising up onto her knees to kiss you again, her hand cupping your face and pulling you forward, taking your breath away as you moaned into her.
Her lips were so soft, incredibly soft, and so warm. She felt so warm and dare you say, safe against you, making your heart pound further as she continued.
Larissa’s heart soared with every little sound you made, every moan and whimper filling her mind with bliss. You truly were wildly sensitive, your skin not used to so much touch. It broke her heart and drove her wild all at once, and she realized she was desperate to replace every memory of painful touch with her own hands and lips.
She wanted every sensation you felt to be one of pure bliss, and if all you asked her to do was hold you, she would love with that, but right now she was desperate to show you just how good touch could feel.
She opened the final button of your shirt, pulling back to examine you for a moment. You were flushed, your chest heaving as you stared down at her, your storm gray eyes now dark with want.
Her mouth went dry, good lord you were stunning. Your chest was full and flushed, your skin pale, like your sister, but covered in small scars, littering you with stories she had yet to learn, that she was dying to. You took her breath away, and as long as you were holding it, she never needed it back.
“Is it alright if I continue?” She asked you, and you nodded, taking her hands and placing them on your hips, surprising her. More, you wanted more.
“Larissa, I- please darling, I don’t want you to stop.” You said, and she bit her lip, observing the effect she had on you. To make you stumble over your words, oh it brought her pleasure she couldn’t describe.
You looked down at her, your eyes lidded heavily as you pulled your shirt off your shoulders, making the woman swallow as you let it fall off the bed, her lips instantly kissing at your neck, your collarbones, anywhere and everywhere she could. She just wanted you. It didn’t matter how or where, but she needed to have you, and now.
You gasped, winding your hands into the blonde’s hair, pulling any pins you found out and tossing them away, you would pick them up later, you didn’t care, all you cared about at the moment was her. Her hands wrapped around your hips as she pulled you up onto the bed more, straddling you, and you moaned into her mouth, making her squeeze you ever so slightly.
“Ophelia,” she breathed your name, and you nodded, feeling her teeth grace over your throat once more. Fuck, it felt good.
“Take- take your dress off, please.” You begged, and she nodded, taking your own hand and encouraging you to do so as she littered the tops of your breasts with kisses, red lipstick you were sure was smeared across your lips now adorning your chest with crimson, covering them as you pulled the zipper down, pushing her back for a moment to allow her to stand and drop the garment to the floor, an action that had your eyes darkening as you took her in.
She had worn wine-red that day, the deep maroon complimenting her pale skin deliciously, and you bit your lip as you ran your eyes over her, pressing your legs together in need.
She flushed slightly at your reaction, you looked like you wanted her, like you needed her, and to her that meant everything. She met your eyes for a moment, a glance meaning more than either of you could say, before climbing over you again and tracing the scar along your side, making your breath hitch as you arched into her, her fingers trailing lower and lower, abandoning the scar all together as they came to rest on the waist of your trousers.
The way you reacted to her, it had her head spinning.
She could do this to you, you wanted her that much, and it absolutely thrilled her.
“May I-“
“Please, Larissa,” you cut her off, locking eyes for a moment. Ice blue and storm gray, both darkened by lust, but steadied by something you dared to call love, looking to the other for answers.
You found yours.
“Please touch me.” You nodded, and Larissa felt a groan rise in her chest as a wetness began to pool between her thighs.
You felt your own core ache further, an almost pulsing need, as if you could feel your heartbeat in your clit, needing her to soothe the ache.
“Please,” you whispered again, and at any other time, with anyone else, it was the farthest thing from yourself you could imagine.
You were goddamn force of nature for Christ’s sake, a woman who pioneered genetic research on a level most couldn’t even fathom, you were a fighter and medic who had saved thousands, but as her hand slipped the button undone, helping you pull your trousers off before she cupped your cunt over your underwear, you were just a woman, laying in bed with her lover, desperate for more.
Larissa hissed as she felt how wet you were, even through your underwear, and you kissed her again, pulling her close and moaning into her mouth as you began to grind against her hand.
It felt so good, so incredibly good, it was heavenly and divinely sinful, it was everything. She smelled divine, like expensive perfume and rose shampoo and lotion, and you pulled her body on top of you, making her catch herself with her strong arm next to your head as she straddled you.
You reached around her body, dragging your fingertips around her ribs to the back of her bra, playing with the clasp there until you were given permission.
“Please Larissa, may I-“
“You can take it all off, darling.” She breathed, and you moaned, only for the sound to catch in your throat as she began to press the heel of her palm into your cunt, still through your panties, but making your eyes roll back nonetheless as you spread your legs for her on instinct.
“Oh- oh fuck, ” you panted, and she stared at you in wonder, you were beautiful, yes, but like this, god it was more than she could have ever imagined. She had touched herself to thoughts of you, she had even seen you come undone before, but this, feeling you under her like this, feeling you trust her, love her, it made her feel, it made her feel like the centre of your world, and she never wanted to be anywhere else again.
You pulled her bra off, making her reluctantly release your cunt for a moment. You pulled the garment off both her arms, letting it fall to the bed as she took you in her hand again, making you gasp and bite your lips.
“Good god Larissa,” you panted, a goddess in the flesh still didn’t do her justice, the masters in Ancient Greece and Rome could never have sculpted something so beautiful as she was in this moment.
You wrapped your arms around her waist, coming up a bit to take her perfect tits into your mouth, her pale skin flushing the second she realized what you were going to do. You sucked on her nipple, and she dropped her head, moaning in your ear, only drenching you further.
“ Ohhh, mmm, Ophelia, that- fuck- that’s it,” she panted, and you moaned at the taste of her skin. Her eyes fell closed as you took her in the heat of your mouth, making her arms shudder slightly as she attempted to hold herself up. It only worsened when you drug your teeth over her, making her hips jerk in an attempt to find some relief and her hand press into you harder, making you moan almost desperately for the woman.
You could feel how wet you were, how much you ached to have her fingers on you, bare of anything, how her hair fell around the both of you, and how she gasped every time you pulled your teeth over her nipple.
You wanted her.
You reached down with one hand, taking hers and startling the woman, making her pull back for a moment. Her eyes cleared a touch, meeting yours to make sure she hadn’t gone too far, pressed too hard or-
you slipped her fingers under the waistband of your underwear, and her jaw dropped as she felt how wet you were, she just cupped you for a moment and you closed your eyes, panting as you felt touch there for the first time in years.
“Christ, Ophelia,” she breathed, and you nodded, gazing up at the woman who held you in the palm of her hand, quite literally.
“Could you- mmmm , rest your weight on my thigh, grind into me, love,” you whispered, slipping your own free hand under her waistband, cupping her ass and pushing her down slightly, enough to encourage her, but lightly enough that she could stop you.
She could barely believe her ears, you were letting her touch you, really touch you, for all she knew you may have never willingly let someone before, and still you were worried about her pleasure.
She just nodded fervently, despite your closed eyes, half in shock you had let her underneath the last barrier between you two at all.
The second she let herself settle on your thigh, she realized just how soaked she was.
“Oh- fuck- bloody- fuck, mhm!” She nodded, biting her lip, smearing herself across you.
You felt it too if your reaction was anything to go by.
“Larissa, darling, oh fuck. ” You breathed, feeling how wet she was, even through her own underwear, and your blackened fingers, your warm, blackened fingers dug into her ass every so slightly, making the woman begin to grind on you almost on instinct, her clit dragging over the fabric of her underwear, making her groan behind her bitten lips.
You watched, mesmerized at the look on her face as her eyes slipped closed, her brow furrowing in pleasure as she began to grind in earnest, a heavy blush staining her cheeks.
“Beautiful,” you whispered, only worsening her blush. “You are beautiful, Larissa,” you repeated softly, flexing your thigh and pressing it up into her, making the woman almost squeak in surprise, leaning forward over you a touch more, ever so slightly closer.
Your cunt clenched at the sound, and her eyes snapped to yours as she felt you begin to practically drip into her hand, her little sounds driving you wild.
She could feel how warm you were, your always warm body even hotter at your core, and how your lower stomach flexed in an attempt to keep your hips still.
“May I touch you properly, darling?” She asked you, and you sucked a big breath in, your eyes going wide at the question. You could, with her, you could. You nodded, taking your hand away from where it was guiding hers and brushing a strand of her beautiful white-blonde hair behind her ear, before cupping her cheek, smiling a bit at the deepening blush at your tender action.
“Please, Larissa, I’m yours.” You said softly, and she moaned as she pressed her lips to yours, feeling you almost scream into her mouth as she began to rub circles over your clit, making your entire body tremble as you held onto her for dear life.
“Larissa- oh god- Larissa!” You cried her name, making her only need you more.
You had touched yourself, of course, but it was nothing compared to what her fingers felt like running over you. You panted as you spread your legs slightly wider, pressing the thigh between hers up as you frantically nodded into her kiss.
“Oh, don’t stop, don’t stop darling, please,” you panted against her lips, and the woman rested her forehead on yours for a moment, giving you just a bit more pressure, catching a moan in your throat as she spoke to you.
“That’s it Ophelia, just like that,” she nodded, and you whimpered, squeezing her ass harder and fisting your other hand in her hair, pulling her down for a kiss as she moved a little faster, making your eyes roll back in your head.
“Oh good lord, like that,” you panted against her lips, “Just like that!” You whimpered, and she sped up a little more as your hips began to jerk, moving uncontrollably into her hand, something she somehow anticipated perfectly, heaven help you, you thought you were the psychic, but she read your body better than you ever could.
“I’m- oh fuck, I’m close darling!” You hissed, your eyes closing tight in pleasure. Larissa only nodded her head, encouraging you. She felt her own cunt clench at your words, nearing the edge just from grinding on you.
“That’s it, sweetheart, come for me,” she said gently, and you crashed over the edge, her following quickly behind you as your thighs spasmed. You nearly screamed, pulling her lips to yours as you shuddered in her hands, your body warming further and pulsing against her, losing control completely. Wave after wave of pleasure crashed through your body as you felt her continue against you, albeit much gentler as your body went nearly limp, melting in her arms. Your eyes rolled back as you panted, complete bliss spreading through you as you felt truly free, unweighted down by your control.
And then you realized.
Your eyes snapped open in a panic, horrified you might find her thrown across the room, or your vines choking the woman above you, but all you found was her ice blue eyes staring into yours, utterly mystified.
“Good god, you’re beautiful.” She panted, and you just pulled her close, wrapping the woman in a hug so tight she almost felt crushed as she barely pulled her hand from you in time to prevent from crushing you.
“Thank you,” you whispered, your voice going harsh as tears filled your eyes, your throat tightening. “Larissa, thank you.” You rasped, beginning to shake as tears streamed down your face, which you buried in her neck, breathing in the scent of her perfume.
“Ophelia, love, you’re crying.” She rasped, her own throat closing as you only held onto her tighter, sobs shaking your smaller body. “Are you alright?” She asked you, worried something was wrong, yet you wouldn’t let her go, meaning you at least weren’t upset at her. She didn’t think…
“I- I’m relieved.” You whispered, pulling her into you, and allowing the woman to hold you close, rolling you both onto your sides so you could bury yourself in her chest as she pulled up the covers, tears wracking your body until you finally fell asleep against her, your eyes and face still wet, but a smile so full of bliss and peace on your lips it made the woman feel as if everything might just be alright.
Chapter 27: Ghosts of the Past
Summary:
You and Larissa wake up together, and she learns just how much you enjoy her before a horrifying revelation confronts you both, and someone neither of you can fully understand.
WARNING: Knives, cuts, blood, burns, accidental harm, mentions of torture/sex work
Notes:
Hello my darlings! Please forgive the lack of updates, it has just been a bit of a hectic time in my life recently! I hope you enjoy this chapter, please let me know what you think in the comments and feel free to join the discord server (16+) and tip me on my Kofi!
Much love,
Vhttps://discord.gg/hgxYt8Cd
https://ko-fi.com/miss_v_257
Chapter Text
Larissa felt warm, warm and at ease as she woke. The sun was beginning to rise, meaning it was about her normal time, however there was no sense of urgency or drudgery at the early morning this time. She loved her job, of course, and she did her best to treat every child at Nevermore like her own, however it wore on her, it had to, after years and years of it.
She would never quit, no, she loved it too much, but some days it did make her tired. The constant appearances, demanding perfection every time. It wasn’t easy, as much as she loved it, it certainly wasn’t easy. Yet this morning, this morning waking up felt just that, easy.
“Penny for your thoughts?” You hummed, looking up at the woman you had curled into, a similar sense of peace in your breast.
Her breath hitched, she hadn’t expected you to be awake this early, and when she looked down, said breath was taken away. You were looking up at her with those beautiful gray eyes, the angle making them appear wider and more, calm, than usual.
It had to be the angle, she very rarely saw you at peace, unless you were sleeping, of course. There was a flush to your cheeks, a product of your proximity and waking no doubt, but one she instantly adored being there, her own flush matching you quite quickly.
“I- I enjoy waking up with you.” She said, her hydrangea blue eyes staring at you so full of hope, so wonderfully, it nearly made you forget about anything else.
“I- I do too.” You replied, turning and looking at where she had been staring, looking out at the rising sun. You more than enjoyed it, you loved it. It just felt so, so right.
You were terrified it wouldn’t last, however, as much as you wanted it to.
Larissa could see how your breathing changed, the slightly deeper sigh as you began to think. She propped herself up on her elbow, looking down at your profile. Your brow had straightened again, your jaw had set.
The almost childlike wonder she saw in you when she first woke had now gone, and despite the fact that you made no move to leave, part of you had indeed run away from her. It made her throat tighten in worry, her heart beat a little faster. It wasn’t over, was it? No, it couldn’t be. She knew you, or, she knew part of you, and you wouldn’t do that. You wouldn’t simply use her for comfort and go, no, you couldn’t, you had said you loved her!
Then again, many had said the same thing, and those had been the ones to hurt her more than anyone else ever could. Always demanding her love in exchange, the constant need to prove her love, her adoration, her willingness to do anything for them.
But you, you wouldn’t even let her say it back.
Why?
Why couldn’t she say it? Why wouldn’t you let her? Was it a rouse, was it something else? Did you just want to distance yourself from her? In which case why would you say that you loved her?
Larissa was a strong woman, a very strong woman, but she couldn’t have her heart broken again. It had been too many times. She had been through it again and again and again. Every time she had waited, hoped things would get better, quieted the little voice in her head, made herself smaller. Smaller to accommodate whoever she was with, ignoring her questions, her feelings.
She swallowed, she wouldn’t do that again.
She had promised herself she would never do that again.
She had to tell you, she needed to, it was the only way for this- for any of it to be real. She had to ask.
Her throat felt tight, her tongue thick as she swallowed, trying to find the words. She didn’t want to scare you off, not after you had come so far.
“Why won’t you let me say it?” She whispered, her voice a little strained, and she felt you freeze next to her.
You clenched your jaw, your eyes going far away for a moment before you closed them, trying to fight back the food of emotions that came with such a simple question.
It was easy, or it should be, to accept love from the woman you yourself loved, yet accepting it had always been so much harder than giving it for you, and even that you didn’t admit particularly well.
“I don’t- I believe you need to know more about me, about my past before you can make that decision.” You whispered, so quietly Larissa could barely hear you. You sounded so small in that moment, her arm wrapped around you a little more on instinct and you hummed, surprised by the action, but playing with her fingers idly where they lay.
“And what- what would I have to know?” She asked you, and again your eyes closed, shame coloring your face.
“You may want to take your hands off me before I tell you.” You swallowed. This would hurt. You knew it would hurt. You hadn’t told anyone this, not in years, and certainly never anyone outside of the hospital. It may not even matter, in the end, eventually you would have to go home, or she would throw you from Nevermore’s doors when she knew, but she, she deserved the truth. “You asked me once, why I wear the gloves.” You sighed, staring out the window, your eyes going far away.
“You told me to prevent the transfer of visions.” She responded, her brow furrowing as she looked down at you. You nodded, swallowing down the fear that came with telling someone.
“One of the reasons, yes.” You nodded. “Do you remember the day Peter came? What he said about me?” You asked, and Larissa felt her hand tighten around yours protectively, surprising you. That was a day she almost wished she could forget. She had watched you bleed out, your very life force draining from you to save her. She had felt that before. She had felt how cold death was.
The thought of you feeling it was somehow worse.
She wasn’t strong enough that day, she hadn’t protected you. She never wanted to let that happen again.
“I do.” She said tersely, and you nodded again.
“He asked if it was true if I could kill with a touch, and I-“ your throat began to close up, shame filling you. So many, so many had died at your hands. You had done it to protect innocent children, but you had done it nonetheless. You had killed. You didn’t regret it, not when you looked at the children it saved, but you knew many would not wish to be with a murderer, let alone to have them around children.
Worse than that was what your abilities had been used for, when you weren’t in control. When that man had used you, what he had created with your abilities. You couldn’t fathom the pain it might have caused so many, so many you didn’t even know.
“Oh god that’s not even the worst of it.” You broke, your voice becoming nothing but air at the end as you curled into yourself, expecting her to push you away at any moment. “I- I can.” You pushed on, hearing nothing from the woman behind you. You couldn’t feel her breathe against you anymore, you had quite literally taken her breath away. “I was, I was twelve, when my parents sent me to Newflight, and they tried to break me for the first few years, but when that didn’t work they- haha-“ you chuckled painfully, trying to find the words as tears filled your eyes. “They ah, they started changing me, turning me into a weapon. They used me to make things, one man he, he wanted to find out if he could get rid of, get rid of outcasts using my ability.” You swallowed, your voice going dark.
Larissa could see her again, the aching, terrified little girl with the hollow face and matted hair, she could see her in you again, and although she knew she should be horrified, she just wanted to hold you closer. She still didn’t move, unsure of what you wanted.
“He wanted to use me to cure them, or kill them, it- I honestly can’t remember it very well. But there is a reason some people view me as a weapon, Larissa, and those people are not necessarily wrong.” You swallowed. You could do this. “I have control, most of the time, but there are risks, there are things that can happen. There are lives that I have taken.” You said solemnly, your voice choking as you stared out the window, into the morning sun. “There will always be a risk.” You admitted, knowing what could happen if you fully lost control. You were biological warfare in a human body, you knew that. That, you would never be able to change. “I love you,” you whispered again, the words barely making their way out of your throat. “And I have come very far, but I cannot erase what I have done and have been made to do.” You swallowed, closing your eyes as you found the steely reserve she had almost broken down. There was a reason, after you were in control, that you continued. “For many of them, many of the people I have killed, I would do it again in a heartbeat to get the children out of those places again.” You said firmly before finally falling silent.
It was quiet for a moment, you could hear the birds beginning to wake, you could hear her begin to breathe again, but you truly didn’t know what she would do. Part of you wished it would last forever, this final moment of calm before she threw you from her bed, from her school. Part of you wished she would get it over with alread.
Larissa’s eyes swam with tears as she looked down at you, the woman who had killed to save children now coming to the forefront, as opposed to the scared girl who she had seen kill in fear. It was true, she knew you could kill, but she also knew who you were. She looked at you as if you were a soldier, of sorts. You had been through battles that she knew she could not understand, killed in the name of protecting others, and taken lives in your own hands. She knew these things, she knew what you were capable of.
She also knew you.
You felt a tear drip onto your shoulder from where she propped herself up above you and flinched, still refusing to look. She was crying, crying from what you didn’t know, part of you still didn’t want to.
She leaned down, closer to you, and you flinched, bracing for impact.
When you felt her lips press a kiss to your shoulder you felt your breath leave your body, unsure if it was real, your eyes watering as you turned in her arms, looking up at her. She didn't- did she just- she couldn’t-
“You have been through things I cannot imagine, and I- yes, there are things that I don’t understand, or upset me, but they don’t change how I feel about you, Ophelia.” She said softly, and she could feel your body start to shake. Her arms wrapped around you slowly, pulling you to face her, your still-bare chest pressing against her. “I- I love you, Ophelia, allow me to have that.” She whispered, and you looked up into her hydrangea blue eyes, completely mesmerized.
You cried.
She held you, and you cried.
Relief, shock, happiness, all of it, and you cried.
“I love you too,” you whispered, cupping her face as your breath was once again stolen by this incredible woman. “Kiss me,” you whispered, and she leaned down, kissing you slow, deep and steady, her hand winding around your torso to pull you closer. You pushed her back, laying her down on the bed and straddling her hips, licking gently into her mouth, making the woman moan.
“Ophelia,” she panted as you pulled away, and you smiled against her lips, kissing her again as her hands wound around your hips to your ass, pulling you to grind down into her.
You wanted her, and you wanted her now .
You moaned as you began to build the pressure between you both, neither of you in any clothes still. Her breath hitched when you began to drag your hands over her waist, the warmth of your palms and fingers making her breath hitch.
“Darling are you sure you want-“ she panted, only for you to cut her off with another kiss, nodding as you rolled your hips into her again.
“Please, Larissa, please, I want you close,” you whispered against her lips before falling right back into kissing her.
She moaned into your mouth, pulling you closer as you slipped your tongue into hers, exploring her and moaning at her taste.
“May I?” You whispered against her lips, your hands settling on her ribs and your thumbs brushing the underside of her breasts, her chest flushed and heaving.
“ Mmm , yes, yes, Please,” she panted, and you nodded, cupping her chest softly as you began to knead her, making her arch her chest into you.
Your hands were so warm on her skin, always so warm.
“Gorgeous,” you whispered against her lips, pulling her even closer with one arm as the other toyed with her nipple, your teeth dragging over her bottom lip in a display of hunger for the woman.
She moaned, her strong hands wrapping around your hips and pulling you down, smearing yourself across her, making her eyes roll back when she realized just how wet you were for her.
“My my, aren’t you something” she panted, blushing furiously even at her own comment. You hummed, trailing down her jaw and beginning to kiss and nip at her neck, only worsening the red staining her face.
“Perhaps I just enjoy you, Larissa,” you breathed into her neck, making her shudder.
“More,” she whispered as you drug your teeth over her pulse point “more,” as your fingers twisted her nipple ever so slightly, “more” as your hand dropped to her hip, rolling her up into you as you panted against her.
And more you would give her, at this point you would give her the moon if she asked for it.
You shifted, beginning to work your way down her body, your lips trailing after everywhere you touched. You kissed across her collarbones, down her chest, your hands sliding to her hips to squeeze them, pulling her up into you as you began to kiss lower, your teeth dragging over her nipple and making her hands shoot to your hair, holding your head closer to her chest.
Fuck, that felt good, she was always so sensitive there, and you knew just how to tease her enough that she needed you, you never rushed, you just enjoyed her. That must have been why it felt so damn incredible, that was the only explanation her spinning mind could come up with, you just wanted her that much.
She couldn’t contain it any more, she needed more, she needed you.
“Oh, fuck, Ophelia, I need you,” she panted, and you groaned against her, your lips kissing down her sternum as you settled between her legs, your hands teasing the inside of her thighs. She parted her legs for you, propping herself up on her elbows to look into your eyes, your own meeting her with intensity and something she could finally name, love.
You looked at her with love.
It was the strong undercurrent to the lust cascading through both of your bodies, the fuel to the fire that burned in your eyes. You took her hand, obsidian ink around alabaster skin, gently kissing her fingers and palm before you continued.
“You’re so beautiful like this,” you whispered, entirely mesmerized by the woman. She blushed, her chest rising as she began to close her legs slightly on instinct, only to feel your hands settling on her thighs. “Mmm, you don’t need to hide from me, Larissa.” You hummed, your eyes darkening as she relaxed slightly, looking at the sheer hunger on your face.
“I- you certainly seem to enjoy- oh god !” She cried as you bit down on the inside of her thigh, your own moan buzzing against the sensitive skin as you tasted it.
“I do, so much ,” you whispered against her. “So fucking much,” you moaned, leaning forward to kiss closer to where she wanted, on her other thigh, making the woman squirm. She groaned, her face hard with stubbornness as her eyes almost pleaded with you. You smiled salaciously, making her shudder.
“Take me,” She whispered, and you raised a brow. “Fuck me like you mean it, darling,” she whispered, and your eyes rolled back in your head as you finally bent down to taste her.
Larissa gasped, her hands tugging at the roots of your hair as you slowly began to lick her up, your tongue like velvet against her.
“ Fuck ,” she hissed, and you moaned into her, wrapping your arms around her thighs as you buried yourself deeper into her. You licked her up, moaning as you sucked her clit into your mouth, making her squeeze her thighs around you, your name falling from her lips as you continued.
“Oh, you taste so good, Larissa,” you moaned against her, she was everything, everything to you, and you threw yourself into her with reckless abandon. Larissa’s eyes rolled to the back of her head, her thighs twitching as you sucked her into your mouth.
Fuck, you were good, her body was on fire, she throbbed in your mouth as you sucked and licked at her. You flattened your tongue against her clit, and the white haired woman moaned as she began to grind down onto you.
“Ophelia, darling- oh god!” She whimpered, and you only gave her more for every sound she gave you. “Don’t stop,” she breathed, almost begging you to continue, her control was slipping, but it just felt so good! You made it feel so good, every movement of your tongue against her clit felt like paradise, like wave after wave of pleasure breaking down the wall of control she had built around herself.
You dipped your tongue lower, playing at her entrance before going back to her clit, and the guttural moan that left her had your head spinning.
“Inside, Ophelia, please, I need you inside me,” she panted, and you hummed, dropping your head to thrust your tongue inside her, making the woman clench her legs around you, her hips bucking up to grind on your face. You moaned at that, grabbing her hips tighter in surprise.
She jumped back as soon as she realized, pulling her hips away as to not effectively suffocate you, only for you to grab her hips roughly, making her startle. She looked down at you between her legs, her face red and her lips parted as she panted. Your storm gray eyes were not almost black, your lips, nose, and chin covered with her as you stared up at her with pure hunger on your face. That was almost the look of a starving animal, and you were looking at her like that.
“Larissa, darling, please, be a good girl and ride my face like you want to.” You instructed, and she almost burst into flames from the blush heating her skin. But she loved it.
You dove into her again, your tongue filling her up as your hands, fuck your hands were strong, pulling her to grind on your face, the friction close to sending her over the edge.
“Oh- oh fuck, fuck, Ophelia!” She cried, and you nodded in encouragement, only pulling her down harder as you curled your tongue inside her, making her almost scream.
“I- oh god I’m going to-“ she stuttered, and you groaned into her, the vibrations sending her careening over the edge as you flexed your lip, dragging your teeth over her clit and making her fall apart in your mouth, the taste of her making you moan as her legs shook, her thighs squeezing around your head as you moaned, licking up everything she gave you.
You massaged her hips for a moment, continuing your gentle licks, holding her close to your face firmly, but very aware that she could get away from you if she had to.
Shapeshifters were stronger than you, in general, and Larissa was, from what you could tell, impressively strong even then.
“Oh my god,” Larissa panted, her head spinning as she looked down at you, still diligently licking at her, making her poor cunt clench around nothing. Larissa considered herself a woman of stamina, but it had been so long since anyone had touched her, and you, you made sure she wasn’t just touched, but worshiped, it was overwhelming in the best possible way, and she could barely process it.
You just looked up at her with a twinkle in your eye, the storm gray giving way to something almost playful in nature.
“What are you- oh fuck!” She yelped as you sucked her clit into your mouth harshly, thrusting two fingers into her at the same time. Her hips lifted off the bed and into your mouth of their own accord, not bothering to consult her as you played her body like the fiddle she had seen placed so confidently in your hands.
“Oh- aaah~ Ophelia, darling-“ she cried, hanging on for dear life as she grabbed for the sheets, anything to hold on as you began to use your tongue on her clit while you were sucking, a sensation that had her thighs once again squeezing around you.
Your fingers seemed to find the right spot almost instantly, and a string of sinful, breathless moans now accompanied each thrust.
“Ophelia- oh- oh- please!” She cried, and you hummed against her, moaning into her clit, the vibrations only sending her closer to the edge.
“That’s it Larissa, good girl,” you moaned, and her eyes rolled back in her head at the praise. She hated that she loved it, but right now she couldn’t bring herself to care, all that mattered was that you keep touching her.
She was so close.
“Come for me, darling, show me how that pretty cunt of yours can squeeze around my fingers.” You smiled, and heaven help her she didn’t know you were that bold. And she loved it. She nearly screamed as she crashed over the edge, one hand slamming over her mouth as the other fisted into your hair, pulling you in so hard you were worried your teeth would hurt her.
She shook around you, her body nearly convulsing as her hips bucked uncontrollably, her thighs shaking over your shoulders. You kept your fingers thrusting inside of her, your tongue on her clit until she went completely limp, her hand barely pulling you away by your hair as you diligently lapped up everything she gave you.
She panted as her body flinched at each touch, now just the softness of your tongue borderline overstimulating. Your hands caressed her thighs gently as she parted them, allowing you to massage them while you licked her clean.
Her head was spinning in bliss as you did, she felt like she was floating. It had been so long since someone had touched her, and no one had ever touched her like that, like they actually craved it more than just returning the favor.
Her cheeks were flushed as she looked down at you, her blue eyes wide and her chest heaving.
“I- you are- heaven help me how did you do that?” She rushed, and you laughed, kissing the inside of her thighs gently as you finished cleaning her up, her legs still shaking.
“I enjoy It,” you chuckled, kissing at her clit and making the woman jump with how sensitive she was. “Immensely.” You smirked, before climbing your way up her body and straddling her hips, kissing her slowly, passionately, but with enough meaning to leave her breathless.
She grabbed for you, her hands reaching for your hips to pull you to grind into her, but you just hummed, rolling over and pulling her on top of you, half laying on your chest.
“Just let me- I- I’d like to hold you,” you said softly, running your hands over the skin of her back, making her shiver. She swallowed, nervous, if she didn’t reciprocate then how would you know she- “I promise Larissa, I just want you,” you we’re struggling through your words, and she lifted her head up a moment to look at you, seeing the ache in your eyes. You had lovers, she was positive, she had heard of it even, but it had been a long time since you loved someone truly, and never had you trusted them like you trusted her.
“Alright,” she breathed, and you shut your eyes, sighing in relief as you felt her head settle on your chest, listening to your heartbeat.
You laid like that for a while, longer than either of you every would alone, just basking in the warmth of the other. It was quiet, and for once, you felt like perhaps that didn’t mean impending doom was on the way.
You traced her skin, getting lost in the feeling of her panting against you, not knowing how you went so long without it.
“We should get you something to eat.” You hummed, and Larissa looked at you vaguely, her head still clouded as she laid on your chest, still catching her breath.
“Cocky, are we?” She managed, her still very flushed face giving her away. You chuckled, playing with her hair absentmindedly.
What a beautiful thing it was to be absentminded.
She nodded, sighing heavily as she closed her eyes for a moment, preparing to get up.
“It’s alright,” you hummed. “It’s Saturday, the staff kitchen is empty.” You smiled, and she nodded, expending the considerable mental effort it took to roll herself off of you, getting up to walk away. You hummed appreciatively, smirking, and she turned around at the noise only to raise a brow at your very distracted stare.
“A little distracted Miss Florere?” She teased, and you smiled a bit, looking up at her through your lashes.
“By beauty such as yourself, Miss Weems? Constantly.” You said, standing and stretching your pleasantly tired body. “And it’s doctor.” You winked, making the woman blush as you pulled on your clothing just enough to rush to your rooms, changing into something new before meeting her in the staff kitchen.
She walked in slowly, quietly, watching you carefully as you brought out pots and placed them on the stove, setting some water to boil before sending a message to someone.
She watched silently as you worked, basking in you doing the simple process of cooking. You wore a long skirt today, a rich tartan falling down to your ankles, the heavy fabric concealing your legs. She wondered if you would let her hike the skirt up, let her slip her fingers underneath it and make you fall apart again and again, just seeing how far she could push you. The black turtleneck you wore covered almost all your skin, but considering it was skin tight, she still enjoyed the article. Your gloves, black today, were tucked in your waistband as you flitted about the kitchen, taking stock of what was left there.
You knew that you and Larissa were the only staff currently living on campus, and you smiled to yourself as you noted her tea collection, taking out a kettle and beginning to brew some.
Larissa just watched, mesmerized by your blackened fingers, the way a stray red curl fell in your face from where you had pinned your hair up. She sat at the counter silently, took the tea you made her, the both of you just basking in each other’s presence as you began to work.
It must have been about twenty minutes before Larissa heard the door, and turned around to see a sheepish looking Eliana holding a large brown paper bag, likely filled to the brim with groceries.
You looked up at the sound of the door, your eyes cooling when they fixed on Eliana, looking at you nervously. You watched as she placed the bag on the counter, looking to you as if you might berate her at any moment.
You wouldn’t, you understood, even if you didn’t like it, you understood.
Larissa, on the other hand, did not seem to be above reprimanding the woman. She turned, standing between the both of you and squaring her jaw, tilting her chin upwards and using her height to look down on the woman.
She was guarding you, you realized.
You blushed, smirking internally, you didn’t think you’d ever get used to Larissa standing in front of you, but part of you hoped she never stopped.
“Um, I brought the, the food you need.” Eliana tried, and you sighed, nodding and gesturing for her to start unpacking it.
The silence was heavy, but not tense. It was clear this was not the first time you two had danced this dance, you had a delicate relationship with the younger shifter, and trying to work out where you both stood had always been difficult.
Larissa looked to you, this wasn’t her battle to fight, but she hoped you would at least let her stay. She was aware of what you could do, you were possibly one of the strongest outcasts she had ever known, but that didn’t change the fact that you would never lay a hand on one of your wards. In fact she had seen how far you would go to not harm them. She doubted the woman would try anything physical, but the fact remained that if it came to brute strength, a shapeshifter could, quite literally, dwarf you.
The two of you locked eyes for a moment, and for a just a second, you let your guard drop, for just a second she could see the calm, the warmth in your eyes. She could see that you were alright. On edge, but alright. She nodded, sitting at the counter again, but keeping a close eye on Eliana.
“I believe I messaged Sugar about some groceries,” you hummed calmly, flicking your fingers and releasing a few seeds, beginning to grow an array of vegetables right there on the counter, much to Larissa’s surprise.
She hadn’t realized how, domestic, your abilities could be. Growing flowers, yes, using your ability as a weapon, naturally, but seeing you use it to nourish was new.
She watched as they formed, sprouting from the seeds almost faster than her eye could keep up with, you never even spared them a glance as you continued prepping the pot. Onions, shallots, and a plethora of herbs fell from your hands, fresh garlic too, and she could have sworn watching you cook was one of the most impressive things she’d ever seen.
“Sugar sent them to me, sort of, you know how she does, she said I should apologize.” Eliana said, and you hummed again, not looking up.
Larissa raised a brow at the slight, if the young woman wanted to apologize, she wouldn’t take anything less than the words, making you shake your head internally at the fact that Eliana was now attempting to appease you both, given Larissa’s unimpressed look.
The lot of them would be the death of you before any madman with a rifle took you out.
“And do you feel that you should?” You asked her, and she sighed, biting the inside of her cheek while thinking of the words. The woman was a singer, she wrote lyrics that moved thousands of people in stadiums, but it was still hard for her to find these words.
She sat for a moment, staring at you. It was hard. She was, jealous, in a way. Maybe envious. You had always gotten more attention, you had always been special, yet she knew the price you paid for that was a horror.
You simply looked for a knife in the kitchen, pulling one to use as you began to wash off some of the vegetables, despite having just grown them yourself. It was a habit, you supposed, and one you didn’t bother to break. Washing the fruit didn’t hurt anyone.
“I- I’m sorry.” She said, and you stopped what you were doing, taking a deep breath before you finally looked at her.
She was barely a decade younger than you, and you knew it was difficult, it always had been. She wasn’t a child anymore, and you hadn’t been for a long time, and yet the two of you had always had your difficulties.
Your gray eyes met her green ones, and Larissa watched as an internal war was waged by both parties. You just stared, not expectantly, not forcing her, just waiting.
She would always push, and you would always wait.
Eliana took a breath.
And broke.
“I’m sorry I said- I said those things about you, I know it’s not true, I know you always did your best for us, and it wasn’t fair of me to imply that there was anything greedy about what you did- All you ever did was, I don’t understand why you and she were so-“ she cut herself off, shaking her head before looking at you again. “I- I don’t have to understand the relationship the two of you had.” She landed on, and you could almost feel the poor woman’s heart racing in her chest. Poor girl.
She would always be a girl to you, perhaps that was why it was so hard for her.
Eliana was used to controlling how others saw her, and now she was not only having to show her natural state, but be vulnerable in it. You knew it was hard for her, having to show you everything. It was hard in a way you knew you couldn’t understand.
“Thank you.” You said calmly, and she managed to take a breath, still nervous being in the same space as you. She knew you wouldn’t harm her, you probably wouldn’t even yell at her, but she didn’t want to feel your eyes look at her like they had last night, not ever again.
You grabbed a bowl from a shelf, flicking your fingers over it and managing to grow a plethora of strawberries, pushing them over the counter to her, and the woman slightly smiled, shaking her head. Even now you were caring for her, as absentmindedly as you tried to make it seem.
“You remembered.” She breathed, and you hummed, beginning to unpack the bag of groceries she had brought you.
“I remember more than most of you give me credit for.” You chuckled a little, and she nodded. You pulled another bowl, doing the same with a bunch of cherries before pushing them to Larissa.
“How did you… they’re my favorite.” She said softly, and a ghost of sadness flitted across your face before a wistful smile settled on it.
“Mhm, they were your aunt’s too. I grew a tree for her once.” You hummed, and she looked at you, seeing the woman you were with her, the softness you showed only to her, come back to the surface. That was the Ophelia she knew, her Ophelia.
“They always taste better when you make them.” Eliana spoke, and you smirked a little bit.
“You,” you said, raising your brows at the woman you loved. “The both of you, any shifter actually, require more collagen than most individuals, I modify them to give you a bit of a boost, they don’t taste better so much as your body is responding to a craving it can’t articulate.” You explained, and Larissa furrowed her brows, still endlessly impressed by your knowledge.
“I- I didn’t know that.” She admitted, and you hummed, nodding as you took oxtail, beef, eggs, and other protein and collagen rich foods you couldn’t grow from the bag.
“Oh my god are you gonna make-“ Eliana laughed happily. Your smile peaked at her this time, allowing her to take a breath. Larissa raised her brows, looking at you curiously, but with a calm smile on her face.
“Yes, I’m making the stew you like.” You sighed before turning to Larissa. “You need more collagen, protein too, calcium depending on how much of your body you’re changing, fatty acids, and a vitamin boost doesn’t harm anyone, but in general you need vitamin C more.” You explained, and she nodded, swallowing in slight embarrassment.
You somehow knew more about her own classification then she did, and it made her blush slightly. It was odd, knowing how you had studied her classification more than anyone ever had access to. It was certainly overwhelming.
“It’s alright,” Eliana said next to her, and the both of you turned your eyes to the other woman. “It- she was trained to know these things, we never got to learn.” She said, and your eyes softened as she tried to explain it to the older shifter.
You smiled a bit, recognizing the words Georgianna used to say to the young shifters who didn’t understand why you knew things they didn’t.
“You listened too.” You said gently, and she nodded.
“I- sometimes.” She responded, and you chuckled a bit at that.
“She’s right, when- when Georgianna and I worked together, and started raising these lot,” you added playfully, gesturing to Eliana with the knife you were using before beginning to dice an onion you had seemingly produced from your very hands, “I learned quite a bit about your classification, necessary nutrition, the fact that you need more sleep, healing times, limits of your ability- well, they vary, but the standard limits- all sorts of things. But I was quite literally trained to know and use these things.” You said calmly, and Larissa nodded, watching what you were doing.
Your hands.
She always went back to your hands.
Your hands, with your blackened fingers, working diligently, gracefully. Something as simple as dicing vegetables became beautiful when done by your hands. Your words soothed her, yes, but your hands moved her, even with the simple act of cooking. You grew and cooked for them, for her and the act of care somehow meant more than any of the fine dinners she could buy, or the Michelin star restaurants she could attend.
“You’ve got quite the array there.” She nodded, and you smiled at her, chopping plenty of firm vegetables and aromatics, adding them to a pot before you produced a few boxes of bone broth from the bag, adding that in and setting the pot to simmer before setting to work on the protein you had been given.
You also set aside another pan on the stove, adding in some butter and allowing it to heat up to a simmer before cracking three eggs in. They needed breakfast, after all.
“Three!” Eliana protested, and you fixed her with a glare and a raised brow, causing Larissa confusion once again.
“You will eat three and thank me or I’ll make you eat four.” You threatened, and the girl scoffed. “Stew won’t be ready for a few hours, so eggs for breakfast, how do you take them?” You asked Larissa, who smiled a bit at the domesticity you seemed to possess, folding her hands together and playing with one of the rings she wore. There was a joyful nature to you like this, one that made her ache to sweep you off your feet.
“Sunny side up, dear, I didn’t know you took requests.” She teased, and you huffed with a smile before setting out four eggs to cook after you finished with Eliana’s.
Honestly, you would take anything that woman gave you. A statement in your mind which caused you to falter in surprise before moving on.
“She doesn’t, she just makes you think she does, it’s a ruse.” Eliana grumbled, and you flashed her a smile that had charming in all the worst ways written all over it.
“And yet you eat what I give you.” You responded, causing Eliana to roll her eyes.
“As if I have a choice! You were the only one who knew how to cook before we brought an actual cook on!” She pitched, and you shook your head. God, you remembered those days.
“It wasn’t exactly my choice, Georgianna can’t cook for shit! She always had others to do it for her, apparently.” You rolled your eyes.
“I was barely twenty, do you think I wanted to be cooking for a gaggle of children every morning at seven AM?” You scoffed back, Larissa watching the two of you in amusement as you fried up the eggs. It was nice to see you in your element again. She had seen you teach, you were spectacular, but seeing the relationships you could form, with someone who had known you far longer than she had, was endearing in a way.
“Considering how often you were in whatever you wore the night before at a fetish club, it doesn’t surprise me.” The girl shot back, and you shrugged with a small grimace on your face. That was indeed, a thing, you had done. To be fair you would often get home at 6:30, and there wasn’t much time to clean up before the food had to be out at 7:00.
“I… fair enough.” You sighed, thinking back to how often you cooked either extremely drunk or still high, or both, in whatever you had worn in a mass of other people, also trying to forget who they were and whatever pain lived inside them.
You chuckled a little, you had worn some very, interesting, outfits back in the day.
“I’m sorry, you did what exactly?” Larissa asked, raising her brows, and you bit back a smirk.
This would be entertaining.
“Well, I would often go out dancing, drinking, getting high. I’d take inhibitors so I could be around people, and then I’d go out and smoke more Opium, drink, a plethora of ill advised actions, eventually stumble back to the hospital in time to start on breakfast.” You explained, relatively calm about the idea of your extreme partying compared to the idea of cooking breakfast for a bunch of children.
“And the individual responsible for you allowed this?” Larissa nearly yelled, and you hummed, shrugging and smiling a bit.
Georgianna put up with it at least, granted it wasn’t as if the woman was particularly ready to raise children, let alone control how wild you had gotten.
“Georgianna couldn’t cook, it was vile, and she could keep an eye on me if I had responsibility.” You laughed at the memory.
Every morning, she would make sure you were back in the building before breakfast, more often than not glaring at your attire. It was before you had the scars, and with enough inhibitors you had no abilities, so occasionally you would dress like it. You had gotten into your fair share of fist fights, but her seeing you come home with a black eye in a catsuit had happened more times than you could remember.
“She was happy I wasn’t dead in a ditch for most of my younger years, sober was far too much to ask for.” You teased a bit, and Larissa fixed you with a glare.
“And you were responsible for children?” She pointed in disbelief, causing you to look to Eliana.
“You’re alive, are you not?” You asked her, and she smirked.
“Barely.” She teased, and you rolled your eyes. Larissa was thuroughly horrified at the lack of adult, or responsible, sober, adult supervision the both of you had, and she realized some of your more outlandish moments made more sense now.
“Right, and allow me to remind you that I will put you in a coma if you don’t start remembering to take care of yourself.” You instructed Eliana, only partially joking, Larissa just shaking her head at the both of you. The foolishness, it was as exhausting as it was charming.
“You gonna fix me, doc?” Eliana asked you, and you sighed, shaking your head in exhaustion. It would never end, even the happiest of your cases.
“I’m going to try,” you grimaced, and Eliana found herself searching to change the mood.
“You know,” she said to Larissa, “I used to come down to the kitchen to find her glaring at pancakes in a catsuit.” She smirked, and Larissa smiled right back, making a blush begin to creep up your cheeks.
“Oh did she now?” The tall blonde asked, and the glare you fixed Eliana with was legendary.
“I swear to god, child,” you threatened, plating the eggs and sliding them over to both women before taking out a loaf of bread and slicing off pieces you toasted in the pan you had just made eggs in.
“I hate you.” Eliana glared as you made quick work of them, before plating up the toast and placing the pile between both of them.
“Eat, or I’ll keep making them.” You smiled, swiping a piece of toast off the top and munching yourself as you turned back to the package you had received, beginning to unwrap the brown paper the beef you had been given was wrapped up in, before setting to work trimming the cut and setting the fat to the side.
“Tell me more about what our lovely doctor used to wear in the mornings, won’t you dear?” Larissa smiled to Eliana, and you groaned, turning around to place the pan you were finished with in the sink, fully done with the both of them.
“Oh, I could show you actually, if you like, Miss Weems.” The younger woman smirked, only to find a knife pointed directly at her over your shoulder.
“If you shift again before you’re medically stable so help me child I will put you in a fucking coma until I know you’re recovered.” You threatened, and the young woman smirked further as Larissa’s brows shot up.
“Can you actually?” Larissa asked, half concerned, and you turned around and sighed, glaring at your former ward.
“I can, however I don’t plan on doing so unless-“
“Does it still count if I show her on you?” The younger woman smiled wildly, and your eyes went wide, you instantly pulled your hands away, but it was too late.
Some shifters could shift the appearance of others, and the second her hands locked around your wrists, you felt it.
Power.
Power that wasn’t yours, power over you, rushing through your body, something you couldn’t control.
You screamed, pulling away, trapped, you were trapped, it was already inside you, coursing through your veins.
You were trapped, again. You needed to get out! You cried out as you watched your hands erupt in vines in an attempt to push whatever was harming you away.
No
You looked up, distinctly aware of the two women in front of you and reached for the knife to cut, only you couldn’t, you were growing too fast. You whipped around, shoving your hands into the open fire of the stove, screaming when the flames hit the vines, making them shrivel back into your skin.
The burning plants wrapped around your hands and you dove for the sink, flipping it on with your teeth, tasting blood in your mouth as you bit down hard, running the water over your burning hands until you could breathe, until your hands weren’t growing or burning, only shaking.
You were sobbing, sobbing borderline hysterically as you looked at your hands. They would heal, they would heal, the burns were superficial, they wouldn’t even stop you from growing, but the violation you had felt at being taken over like that again, that destroyed you.
You looked down at yourself, and your heart dropped.
You were covered in skintight spandex, the skirt you had chosen that morning, the tartan Jenkins had given you for comfort, his own clan, it was gone.
The worst part is that you knew that under the fabric, if either of them saw your skin, it would be covered in the countless scars a much stronger shifter had shifted away.
You turned around slowly, knowing what your face would look like. You gritted your jaw, staring at Eliana as you turned around. When she saw your face, when she saw what she had uncovered, she looked like she might be sick.
Both women were shocked completely still.
“How. Dare. You.” You rasped, the familiar pain stinging the left corner of your mouth, the scars there being stretched for the first time in years.
Not since Georgianna herself had shifted you, permanently, mind you, had this part of your body seen the light. You had never wanted it to again.
“How dare you!” You screamed, and the woman jumped back, covering her mouth in shock as she saw your face, your face before anything had been permanently shifted by Georgianna, for the first time.
Larissa’s own jaw dropped, it was- it was still you, clearly, the shape of your face, the coloring, was the same, the only difference being the massive scar forming a wicked smile on the left side of your lips.
They had cut you, they had cut your mouth open to keep you from stopping the drugs and tubes a madman had shoved down your throat. Georgianna had changed your face back to how it would have been before any of the children at the hospital had ever met you, even Eliana.
The collar of your suit was a mock turtleneck, meaning the rest of the way up, up to your chin, was bare. The rings upon rings around your neck showed exactly how many times the metal collar Larissa had once seen you strapped down in had cut into your skin, both women felt sick as they realized exactly what those rings meant.
That was how many times you had been strapped down, and that was only what they could see.
Eliana stared in shock for a moment before turning and retching onto the floor, realizing what she had done, what she had exposed. The guilt was so powerful she emptied her stomach on the floor, and you grimaced when you remembered what the usual reaction to your face was.
You felt tears sting your eyes, Georgianna had changed your very physical makeup when you were young, taking away the worst of your scars, and as Eliana vomited onto the floor you were reminded of why.
Larissa, however, Larissa just stared, and that was far worse. You felt your face go cold, a single tear escaping the wall you had thrown up. You shut down. You were exposed, vulnerable, your own body was a testament to the things that had been done to you, a roadmap to your pain. Yet all you felt was the cold as you shut down.
“Georgianna did not teach you that ability lightly, Eliana.” You said, staring down the girl as you were unable to look at Larissa. It was too much, all of this was too much.
“I’m so sorry!” The younger woman sobbed, and you bit back a retort. She was younger than you, you were both adults now, but she was younger, you shouldn’t be cruel to her, no matter how much you wanted to be.
“I can fix it!” She panicked, standing up and immediately trying to rush to you, only to feel herself be yanked away and back before you could even react.
Your jaw dropped with shock as you watched Larissa nearly shove the woman into the wall, her hand around her arm as she practically threw the smaller shifter into it. Her eyes were full of a rage you didn’t know she was capable of.
She slammed Eliana’s arm over her head, pinning the smaller woman to it with enough force she visibly started shaking, but not enough to hurt her.
You could tell, you knew what it looked like when someone was hurting another person, but Larissa wasn’t causing pain, she was just pinning her there, not that it didn’t scare the bloody hell out of Eliana. You felt your heart leap to your throat, watching in shock, frozen still, it was happening so fast.
“Don’t touch her!” The blonde nearly snarled, and Eliana looked up at her in fear, actual fear. This woman was strong, insanely strong. Eliana was pinned against the wall unable to move, and she was a strong shifter, both in terms of her ability and physically, but Larissa was enough to make her feel helpless. “You do not touch her without her permission, do you understand me, Miss Eliana?” Larissa snapped, and the woman nodded mutely, completely awestruck by the power Larissa displayed.
You stared, slack jawed, as she straightened up, letting go as she set her jaw and looking down on the other woman, making the both of you shudder.
“You will not touch her again, ever. Or so help me I will ban you from every outcast institution I can get to.” She threatened, and your eyes went wide. Holy hell this woman did things to you. She did things for you.
You straightened up, walking over to the both of them, very aware of the limp you walked with, familiar pain aching in your hip. You hadn’t missed that.
You grunted when you took the first step, it had been a while since you were forced to deal with the consequences.
Larissa’s eyes snapped to you at the sound of pain, immediately dropping Eliana’s arm and rushing to your side. She didn’t touch, she was just there, her hovering hand instantly softening when she saw you limp.
You were hurt.
Actually, physically hurt. She had seen you in pain, she had seen you die, but, seeing something you were forced to live with was different.
She moved to brace you right away, her hand just next to your hip, waiting for permission.
You swallowed as you realized she didn’t know what to do, she didn’t know what you would let her do. You sucked in a breath, one arm going to you on the counter where you had been cooking, only to snap away as the burned flesh met the counter, making you hiss and wince in pain, forcing you back onto your misaligned leg.
You forgot how quickly the pain set in.
“It’s- it’s alright, I’m just not used to it anymore.” You rasped, and Larissa felt her eyes fill with tears. You heard a sob from Eliana, and looked up with clear pain, and muted rage, in your eyes.
“How- Who- how did you end up…” She rasped, and you tried to put your weight on the leg, only to buckle when you miscalculated, sending you nearly plummeting to the floor.
You hadn’t dropped more than an inch before Larissa’s arms were around you, holding you to her body. She was holding you up, holding you close, protecting you, and you gasped in relief as your weight was pulled off your leg.
But there were tears in her eyes, and you couldn’t stand it. You just wanted her to smile, to know you were alright, to give you that beautiful smile that lit up the room.
“Haha, I can’t believe I used to walk like this,” you tried to laugh, the sound came out strained, however. She didn’t smile, and yours dropped as you realized your attempt had failed.
“Is sitting easier?” Was all Larissa said, and you swallowed, turning your head to hide the scarred part of your face from her, only to feel her pull you tighter to her, taking more of your weight.
You knew shapeshifters were stronger, hell, the broken ribs you had were a testament to that, but feeling her take your weight, feeling her hold you up, to protect you, that was something new entirely. No one had ever done that before.
Eliana slowly got off the wall, looking at you in near horror as she sank to her knees on the ground in front of you, her regret transcending what you knew her to hold as a person.
“I’m sorry,” she sobbed, bowing her head. “I’m so sorry,” she repeated. “I’m so sorry,” she whispered again and again, and eventually you looked down at her. Larissa glared from where she clutched you to her own body. You stayed hidden for a moment, taking deep breaths as you inhaled Larissa’s perfume. Floral, yet clean, with a hint of musk. It suited her perfectly.
“Please,” you whispered softly, so low that only Larissa could hear you. “Please, you changed me once, I- don’t make me wear what they’ve done to me.” You almost begged, your voice as close to silence as it could be. You weren’t speaking to her, and it broke her heart as you begged for the aid of a dead woman.
She watched as you took a shaky breath in, looking up, only you looked past her, past the ceiling, past the roof of Nevermore, peaking out of the trees, past the midday sky, to a world she couldn’t see. She could have sworn it was the moon that shone in your eyes that moment, just as plain as the scar now visible on your face.
You stared into this world for a moment, your eyes never moving, but somehow searching for something, somehow she knew you were trying to find something, something she couldn’t see. The silence stretched, she could hear Eliana sobbing at your feet, the feet barely touching the floor as she held you close, not even blinking at the weight. She was strong, and if there was ever a time she was grateful, it was now.
Eventually, finally, you blinked, and looked at her, your eyes welling up with tears. Shame, shame caused your throat to ache and your eyes to burn, and it was shame she attempted to dispel as she kissed the top of your head, lingering there and inhaling the scent of petrichor and flowers that always clung to you.
You didn’t have words, and neither did she, but she had strength, enough for the both of you if need be.
You took a shaky breath in as you nodded, placing the tips of your fingers, which were unsinged, onto her hands, and encouraging her to let you go. She pulled you even closer, taking your feet off the floor for just a moment before she finally allowed you your weight back, and you sunk to the floor, sitting in front of the sobbing woman you had once pulled from a basement in a warehouse, dingy and covered in fluids you didn’t want to imagine.
Even now, you would comfort her, you would comfort her with strength borrowed from Larissa, and Larissa would hold you should you need to be pulled away again.
“It- you are not as strong as the shifter who hid my scars, this will fade.” You said to Eliana, and she sobbed in relief, but still bent to the ground, her head in her hands nearly on your lap, but she wouldn’t dare touch you now, especially not as Larissa sunk to her knees just behind you on your right, the side of your hip.
You could feel it when her warmth nearly surrounded you, the intensity of her protective instinct wrapping around your body in the closest thing you could feel to comfort when reverted back to your own natural state. Eliana looked up at you through her reddened eyes, her vision blurry with tears, yet what had been done to you was clear. What pain you had been through, was clear.
“H-how?” She whispered, and you sighed, shaking your head.
“Some shifters are capable of permanently altering their surroundings, some can do so to people too-“
“No.” Eliana choked. “How did you get them?” She managed, looking up at you. And you grimaced, turning away. “How!” She yelled, and you flinched, Larissa immediately moving to pull you away, back into the safety of her arms, but you shook your head, swallowing down what came.
You could do this.
“My face was done when I was sixteen, a year before Georgianna found me.” You sighed, “My neck, and if you were to see my wrists and ankles, are older, but the same place did them. The incisions were done at Newflight as well.” You sighed, your eyes closing to shut out the emotions that came with telling these sorts of things.
“Why- you hid them,” Eliana managed, and you swallowed, looking down and away from both of the shifters on the ground with you.
“My face is, I had to move undetectable for operations, often I was in public with many of them, I couldn’t draw attention.” You explained, the shame heavy in your voice. “Not to mention the Children’s reaction to someone with a face like this.” You grimaced.
“You didn’t- you- you kept some?” She asked, and you sighed heavily. Heaven help you, this was hard.
“Some were too deep to shift away permanently, but some are from after, after Georgianna died.” You said lowly, and Larissa’s eyes went wide. Her aunt had done this? Her aunt had permanently shapeshifted you? It was shocking, incredible, she had known that some could, or at least heard myths about it, but to see it, and to know she was related to someone that could, it amazed her.
“It’s true then,” Eliana swallowed, her tears coming again, and you grimaced, looking away. Shame marred your face, this was something the children should never see, the toll they had taken on you. Larissa’s attention snapped back to the both of you, realizing that something was wrong, very wrong.
“You always told us we should be proud of our scars, why would you hide them?” She gritted her teeth, and you swallowed, trying to find the words. You feared she already knew the answer.
“You have to understand, extraction operations are I credibly difficult and dangerous, things go wrong, we all know that risk, I know that risk!” You defended quickly, but Eliana just wrapped her arms around her knees, pulling her body in tight, like she had as a small child.
“How many are- oh god we’re so much stronger than you,” she cried, and you hung your head, taking a deep breath as you tried to steady yourself. You were shaking, Larissa realized in worry. You were actually shaking.
“Eliana, please, don’t,” you whispered, and Larissa’s arm began to wrap around you protectively, yet you didn’t go to move away.
“I- I don’t remember the day you got me,” Eliana breathed, panic starting to set in. She knew you weren’t as strong as a shapeshifter, not physically. She knew you didn’t mind the scars others had given you, not ones by bad people, those were marks of what you had survived. She knew you yourself had caused the ones on your arms, causing you shame, yet Georgianna didn’t take those, and there was only one other type of scar she could think of.
“Eliana-“ you warned, but her green eyes fixed to yours with more intensity then you had ever seen from the woman.
“How badly did I hurt you?” She rasped, and you shook your head, desperate to find a way out of this. You couldn’t tell her, you couldn’t tell any of them, it would crush them.
Larissa finally understood, and it felt like a crushing weight hit her chest. The scars you were hiding, other than the obvious, were from children who had harmed you as you attempted to rescue them. But that wasn’t all…
The only classification strong enough to permanently harm you that young was her own.
The scars you were hiding were caused by her own kind.
She gasped, snapping back in shock, and the instant her warmth was no longer around you, you wanted to crumble.
“Do not ask me questions you will only be upset by the answers to.” You gritted, and Eliana nearly screamed in your face in frustration.
“How badly!” She cried out, and you winced, closing your eyes once again in shame. She wouldn’t let up, you knew she wouldnt, and you needed to get her to move on as quickly as possible, before this somehow became worse.
“Three broken ribs, a sprained wrist, and a dislocated shoulder and jaw.” You grimaced, and the younger woman just stared.
She stared, and Larissa stared.
The both of them didn’t fully understand, they couldn’t understand.
This is what rescuing these children could do to you, and yet you stayed. No matter how they tore and broke your body, you kept getting them out. The wail Eliana let out at realizing what pain she had caused you cut through you. And in her realizing that pain, yours only deepened.
“Eliana- I- I don’t regret it for a second, not for you, not or anyone, I know what can happen every operation I go on, hell I could die- a few broken ribs is nothing- I heal quickly, dislocations are just popped back into place, it’s alright!” You rushed, trying to soothe her, panicking as she sobbed. Larissa had no idea what to do, she was fully out of her depth now, she felt lost, fully lost.
“Show me.” The younger woman growled, and your eyes went wide as you shook your head.
“Absolutely not.” You replied almost instantly. There was no way you were allowing this woman to see what she had done to her rescuers as a child. Her mind was protecting her from the memory, there was a reason. “Show me!” She argued, and when you finally looked at her, she saw the pain in your eyes, yes, but she also saw the fire there.
You had given her everything, but this you would not give her. She saw as the fire burned in you, raging in your eyes until it was nearly palpable.
You were exhausted, you were in pain, and above all, you were frightened. You were terrified even, that anyone would see you this way, that your weaknesses were bared to the world.
You had nothing left other than the fire.
“I have been through hell.” You finally spat. If this woman wanted pain, you would show her pain, but you would not give it to her. “I have been through hell, Eliana. I have been strapped down in laboratories, I have been subjected to experiments, I have been the Guinea pig and what they use to test them. I have been forced unto my knees and beaten until I couldn’t see through the blood streaming down my face and the bruises over my eyes, do you understand me?” You spat, and both women sat in utter shock.
Eliana hadn’t seen you like this, she had never seen you yell like this.
“I have been through things that make grown men cry, and yes, I have taken a few hits from the children I have fought with my life to get out of what I was raised in. I have had broken bones, dislocations, lacerations, fuck, a kid got Jenkin’s gun and shot me once, but listen to me when I tell you this.” You gritted. “I would go through it all again, every bit of it, if it meant I got one more child out, just one.” You said, the certainty in you stunning both women to silence.
Larissa couldn’t breathe.
They stared in shock, there were tears in your eyes, but more than anything, there was absolute resolve. Every word you had said was true, your convictions may just be the strongest thing about you.
Eliana just cried, her voice breaking as she looked at you.
“Why?” She asked, no other words came to her lips, she couldn’t understand.
Larissa couldn’t understand. She had often sacrificed sleep, comfort, her own personal well-being, and her life, once, for her students, but the pain you had been through, she couldn’t imagine it. Your body had been broken, countless times, by her own kind, by the very woman in front of you, and yet you could look at them both, you could touch Larissa, be touched by her, kiss her, make love with her, all of it. You could love her, after experiences that would make anyone terrified of her kind.
“I will tell you what Georgianna told me.” You sighed. “I have already been to hell, and it is in my power to stop a child from experiencing it too.” You said, and the both of them just stared at you.
There was nothing to say. There was nothing they could say.
You turned, looking at Larissa, seeing the tears stream down her face as deep rage, true rage, rage at everything you had been through, everything you had taken to become the woman you are.
Somehow even now, she was beautiful.
You smiled at her, or tried to, taking the back of your fingers, your burned hands trembling a little, and wiped the tears away before you leaned up, kissing her cheek. You stood up, grunting a bit as your hip took your weight once again, and went to the island of the kitchen, looking at the things you still had to do.
“I… I don’t understand you.” Eliana breathed, and your eyes went far away for a moment.
“May you never understand the- the matron, or her bloody haired bitch.” you said quietly, your lip twitching in a slight sneer, your eyes cold as you looked at your hands, realizing what must be done.
You took the knife from the counter and went to the trashcan, slicing the dead flesh and plant life from your palms, barely wincing. It was then, and only then, that you heard the sharp whimper at the door.
No .
Your eyes snapped up and you looked on in absolute horror to see her, the both of them. Your niece was staring at you, anger and pain in her eyes, tears, in her eyes, and you could have been sick right there. Enid was behind her, she was the one who made the sound, the whimper. There wasn’t much blood, it was a superficial burn, but still, it was too much for the young werewolf.
“Wednesday,” you breathed, horrified, and the girl glared at you, seeing red.
“ This? ” She spat, and you felt your heart plummet. “ This is what you leave for?” And the pain in her eyes cut you in a way you had never felt.
She wasn't supposed to see this, she wasn’t supposed to see any of this. This is what you had been protecting her from, this is the side of you that you never wanted her to see.
You rushed to her, limping slightly, with your hands stretched out, only to freeze when you realized they were covered in blood. You looked down at your hands in shock, unable to touch your niece. How could you, with blood on your hands? Even if it was your own, there were countless stains that could never be seen, not since you had washed them after the sins were committed.
“You leave me to destroy yourself, for people who don’t even try to stop you.” She said, her eyes hardening on Eliana.
“Wednesday,” you breathed, and she shook her head, stepping back from you.
“Don’t bother, clearly, your priorities lie elsewhere.” She said, turning and storming from the room before she let a tear fall from her eyes, Enid rushing after her.
“Wednesday!” You called, trying to rush after her, only for your hip to give out, making you crash painfully to the floor, gasping when the raw skin of your hands hit it.
You cried out, nearly sobbing, and Larissa’s arms were around you in a moment, holding you and pulling you off your hands and knees, back onto her lap.
“Hush, it’s alright, I’ve got you,” she whispered, and you sobbed. After everything, after everything you had given up. Wednesday? You didn’t know if you could give her up, you just didn’t think you could. You didn’t know what little trace of family would be left if you did.
Those at the hospital were your family, more than anyone was, but Wednesday, she was part of a life you never thought you’d have, one you didn’t know if you could give up, no matter how little a part it was. It hurt, it felt like your chest was ripping open, a chasm forming in the core of your being.
“I can’t,” you gasped, trying to hold back the torrent of grief pelting you.
“She is young, she will understand someday,” Larissa swallowed, torn between horrified and desperate to comfort you. You curled your hands into yourself, knowing that if you didn’t control yourself the black would start to spread soon, your ability would start to use your own body to feed itself.
You gritted your teeth, pulling back a scream before you clawed your way to your feet, your eyes going far away, to a place neither of the women in the room could see.
“Come to me,” you spat, a deep, deep rage in your voice neither of the women had heard, this was rage from pain, the kind of pain that cut you to this day. The kind that sits in a person, that eats away at them every time they allow themselves to feel it. The kind you hated yourself for.
This was the kind of rage that was a rot in your very soul.
“Look at me!” You screamed, neither of them had any idea who you were talking to. You shook with it, your fingers digging into your already bleeding palms, making the drops become a trickle. Your fists shook and you felt the tear of your palms through your arms, into your chest.
You screamed out, releasing your palms in anger, not realizing you were filling the air with pollen as you did. You were too far gone in your pain to control something as minute as pollen, especially when all your energy was directed towards keeping your ability from eating you alive.
Larissa and Eliana gasped, a dark gold dust bursting from you and coating them, breathing it in due to pure shock. They coughed for a second, their eyes tearing up, Larissa turned away from the blast, wiping her eyes, only when she turned back, she was shocked still.
Standing in front of you, at nearly seven feet tall, was Georgiana.
She shimmered, as if she was made of the pollen you expelled, as if the two abilities you had were working together, you had brought the woman here. It took everything in you, but you had brought the woman here.
“ Look at what you have made of me!” You screamed, and she flinched, her non-corporeal body reacting to you even now. It wasn’t fear that she showed, however, this was shame. Shame marred her face as she met your eyes, her own deep green unsteady, unsure. As long as you had known her, it was rare she looked like that.
The apparition didn’t speak, she just looked at you, as if speaking was something she didn’t know if she could do when you were like this.
“I have given everything! ” You screamed at her, and you could see her trying to hold back emotions. “I have given my body, my mind, my better years to you and these children, and I would do it again!” You cried. “I have been shot, stabbed, tortured for their- for your location! I have been sucked cock to get information for you!” You sobbed, staring up at the woman for the first time in years. “But I- I will not give her-“ you gasped, your breath coming in hiccups now. “I will not expose her to the world I willingly walked into with you.” You rasped, feeling the sting of tears drip down your face. “I have given my life for you.” You gritted, feeling another wave of emotion hit you. “And everything I have done, every training session you put me though, every broken bone, bringing me back into the world we both fought to end- all of it, all of it I could forgive you for! I HAVE forgiven you for!” Your voice was breaking, bordering on madness, it was too much, all of it was too much. “But you left me.” You whimpered, your voice quiet, broken.
She had left you. She had died, and you had never been the same.
“You- you left me to deal with this mess, these children, and, and now I’m being hunted down in Europe, so I can’t even help them,” your breaths started to come too fast, you were panicking. You covered your mouth with your bleeding hands, sobbing, your other arm coming around your stomach to brace yourself against the sobs wracking your body.
Hot tears dripped down your face as your whole body shook, your throat closed up, it hurt . You had so much grief in you it hurt .
“Ophelia,” she whispered, and you shook your head, pulling away, nearly falling when you stepped back, barely righting yourself in time.
“What if I can’t?” You whispered, taking your hand away and looking up at her, at this apparition, your own blood staining your face where you had touched it. “I- I’m not you,” you whispered, as if admitting some terrible secret you had been harboring for far too long.
Her heart broke for you, as did Larissa’s, even Eliana looked anywhere but at you, as if she couldn’t witness this, as if she knew it was wrong for her to see you like this. This, weak. Eliana shook her head in shock, tears streaming down her face as she backed away, running from the room and into her own, terrified she had already seen too much.
The spectral image stepped towards you, her hand once again reaching out, and you once again turning away.
“Phelia, darling, you don’t have to be me.” She said softly, and you shook your head, fresh tears coming to your eyes at the use of your nickname. You felt like a child again, with her calling you as she used to. You looked up at her, your eyes full of tears, your face smeared with your own blood, you looked up at her, and your heart broke.
Perhaps it was the guilt, perhaps it was more, but you nearly sunk to your knees in front of her. You stayed standing, you would always stay standing, but when you looked at her, you wobbled.
“Why am I here?” You asked her, and her eyes widened a fraction as she took in a sharp breath. “Why is it that as soon as it was clear Britain was no longer safe for me, I heard your voice telling me to go to my niece?” You asked her, furrowing your brows, pain clear in your statement. “I will ruin myself for the children we fought to save, but I will not endanger her.” You swallowed. “Or was it never about Wednesday at all?” You asked, your voice breaking.
Her face faltered, and you knew, you nodded your head, accepting the new assignment without ever arguing. She didn’t even have to say it, you already knew. You looked away for a moment, at Larissa. She was standing in total shock, her face even paler than you thought possible. Her jaw hung slack, the breath caught in her throat.
This wasn’t her aunt, this was your Georgianna, and it had never been clearer that although the same woman had been both, they were two entirely separate entities.
You nodded, staring at Larissa, your silent approval. You loved her. No matter why you were called here, what you felt for her, that was real. It had always been real.
“So,” you sighed, turning to Georgianna. “What is my assignment then, Matron?” You swallowed, looking at her with all the love, respect, and disdain only a woman’s daughter should be able to look at her with. You watched as Georgianna’s eyes filled with tears. This isn’t what she wanted. She wanted her girls to be safe, to be together, not this. “Guard?” You asked her. “Security? Protector? What would you like me to do?” You continued, and Georgianna just looked down at you, lost.
“I- this is no assignment,” she swallowed, and you shook your head,
“Is it not? You sent me here, my entire life you told me nothing about who you were before the hospital, about the woman you apparently knew I saw, and then you send me here, so what on earth would you like me to-“
“I want you to be happy!” Georgianna nearly screamed, her body physically shaking as she tried to hold back the emotion coursing through her.
She had practically raised you as her own, and every mistake she made sunk into her like cinderblocks on her chest. She had made you into a great woman, a powerful woman, but the cost for that had never been more clear than it was now. She didn’t want you to fight anymore, after she died, she knew the responsibilities of the hospital should have fallen to you, but she couldn’t take the reality of it. She couldn’t take what it did to you.
“I want- I want you to fucking live Ophelia!” She yelled, and your jaw nearly hit the floor. “Yes, I am greedy and selfish, and I- I sent you here knowing you would protect my niece’s life if it came to it, and yes, I disregarded yours because of it! And that is wrong, but I am human, Ophelia! I always have been!” She yelled, and you looked at her, shocked. She had never admitted to it before, and you felt guilt creep in as you realized the expectations you once had of her. “I- I treated you, awfully, I made you into a soldier and I cannot allow that-“
“Georgianna-“
“No. let me finish.” She demanded, and you nodded, still in utter shock. “I have made, many mistakes with you, I- I shouldn’t have- I knew better- I-“ she took a ragged breath, trying to calm herself, and you looked at her patiently, calmly, you looked at her like you loved her, and you did, she was your family, she was the woman who had saved your life and given your purpose, she was just, her. “I- if he comes for her, as he came for me, as he tries to come for you, yes, I want you to be here.” She breathed, and you nodded solemly. “However, I have known for a long time, the day I found you, you cried out to protect her, you begged me Ophelia, to protect her, I thought she might have been in Newflight and I- I am ashamed of some of the things I did that day, but I knew, I knew you would find her. Perhaps I helped you for my own reasons but-“
“I love you.” You said quietly, and Georgianna stopped, her eyes going wide, and for the first time, you saw her falter. You had known her to have green eyes your entire life, surrounded by thick, brown curls, yet for the first time, you saw her with the same blue eyes as her niece.
“Wh- what?” She stuttered, and you nodded, your throat closing up. You didn’t say that. There were things you didn’t do or say, and that was one of them. You had never said it, not to her. You had said it over her body, bleeding out in your arms, going cold, her soul gone the second a shot was fired through her skull. After she had died, you had whispered it over her grave, over the tree you had planted, over the flowers in the entrance hall, but you had never said it to her.
You had regretted it every day since she died.
“I-“ you tried it again, the words failing you. Truth be told, there was only one person, other than your niece, you had never struggled to say it with, and it wasn’t the woman standing in front of you.
Your eyes went to Larissa, who watched you with such understanding as you felt as if everything was falling apart. You swallowed, looking down and away from her hydrangea eyes before you lost yourself completely to them, only to look back up into others.
“Show me, please, I need to see it,” you whispered, bowing your head as much as you could, the pain in your body tiring you so quickly. You were so tired. You saw it, you saw black boots turn into smooth, blue heels, and when you looked up, the woman in front of you had tears in her eyes.
Tears that streamed down her pale face, framed by her white hair, she was just a few inches taller than Larissa, with a similar build, only where Larissa’s hair had a slight wave, hers was straight. Where Larissa’s lips were full, hers were a bit thinner, the lines around ber eyes showed more age. You stared at her a moment, the woman was braced for impact, braced herself for the torrent of your rage and anger at how long she had kept this from you, but it never came.
“Hello, Victoria,” you whispered, and the sob that came from the woman had you reaching to hold her, knowing you wouldn’t be able to.
“I- I never thought that you’d-“ she cried, and you smiled a bit, nodding.
“I like the hair.” You hummed, and she laughed a bit, her voice a little higher than you were used to.
You stared at each other for a moment, you took her in, and she watched as the sadness on your face was overtaken by some sense of peace.
She looked over your shoulder, to her niece, and you turned, seeing Larissa crying at seeing her auntie again. So it was true for both of you then, that the woman in front of you never stopped being able to make you feel so small.
“I can’t stay,” she whispered, and you nodded.
“I know.” You sighed, looking at her, over her face, over the woman she had been, the woman Larissa knew.
“I forgive you.” You said gently, and another tear fell from her eyes as she smiled, relief like you prayed you would one day feel washing over her face.
“But don’t, ever, involve my niece in this world, you of all people should understand that.” You warned, and Victoria nodded, sniffing as she wiped away a final few tears. “Talk to her,” you hummed, gesturing to Larissa, “I’m sure the two of you have much to say to each other, the pollen will wear off in a while, and I- I need to lay down until this reverts itself.” You sighed, gesturing to your twisted body, limping over to the door.
“Phelia,” Victoria called, and you turned as best you could over your shoulder. “I’m proud of you, and I am honored, truly, to call you a member of my family, whatever happens.” She said, and you felt your own tears prick your eyes.
“As am I, matron, as am I.” You nodded, leaving the room and the women in it in utter shock.
Chapter 28: Revealed
Summary:
Larissa and Wednesday are forced to confront what had happened to you. You are forced to let them.
WARNINGS: Scars/mentions of violence/mentions of medical experimentation/mentions of torture/smut
Notes:
Hello everyone! Forgive my absence, I have been going through it, but I am very happy to be back! Let me know what you think!!!!
Chapter Text
Larissa found herself hesitating outside your door again. She had been here before, only this time it wasn’t anger that stood in her way, nor frustration, it was fear.
She wasn’t afraid of you, but she was certainly afraid of how hurt you were, and not just physically. She was afraid of what her aunt, the kindest and most joyful woman she had ever known, had put you through. She was afraid that knowing you had been sent here to protect her would push you to leave, that you would run from her as if finally let go of a task.
So she hesitated, standing in front of your door, shaking.
She couldn’t hear you inside. She had spoken to her aunt for the better part of half an hour before the pollen wore off, the two of them in utter shock at seeing eachother again. It- she didn’t know how to feel. This was something you could do, clearly, allow her to see her aunt, yet doing so couldn’t be good for you, for any of them, actually. And the toll it had taken on you the one other time you had done it… it wasn’t worth that. Speaking to the dead wasn’t worth loosing someone living, it couldn’t be.
She heard something move behind her and whirled around to come face to face with Wednesday, who revealed nothing save for the reddened rings around her eyes.
Larissa arched a brow, looking down on the girl, attempting to read how this would go, what she would do. She could never fully predict Wednesday Addams, but she did know how the girl felt about you. That, at least, was steady.
“Is She Alright?” Wednesday asked, her normally monotone voice strangely choked. Larissa swallowed, the girl normally tried her patience, but this was in an entirely new way. She evaluated it for a moment, she could tell Wednesday you were perfectly fine, as you likely would, or she could tell the truth, that the girl’s rejection had left you worse than she had ever seen you. She could tell her how it became clear you would destroy yourself for the children, but you would destroy the world for Wednesday, if you must, and seeing her run from you had hurt you more than she could imagine.
Yet Wednesday was a child, even as precocious as she was, and even if Larissa wanted to berate the girl, it would only drive you further apart.
There wasn’t a right answer, not with you the way you were. She wished she could find one, her ability to always find a solution failing her for once, leaving her with nothing but uncertainty. She couldn’t stand it.
“I- I’m not certain.” She admitted, and Wednesday’s eyes went wide. She had seen you, she had seen your face, seen your movement jilted by the injuries you had sustained, but you were fine. You were alive. You were always alright, at the end of the day. Even if you spent months away from her, you always came back. Always.
The idea that you wouldn’t be ok, even if it took some time, that had never- she had never thought…
Wednesday felt a tear fall down her face, she felt cold, terrified even. If you weren’t alright and the last thing she had done was yell at you-
“Wednesday,” she heard a soft voice, her headmistress’s voice, and she looked down and away, trying to hide that she was, for once, just scared. It broke Larissa’s heart. She felt deeply for all her students, Wednesday in particular, despite the girl’s intent to make her life a living hell. Her relation to you, as much as she wanted to pretend she was biased, only added to her want to protect the girl. “Wednesday, not like that, she’s not dying.” Larissa explained softly, and the girl looked up, her dark eyes filled with worry still, it was more emotion than she was used to seeing in the girl, and she wasn’t quite sure what to do.
“I hurt her.” Wednesday realized, and Larissa nodded, sighing deeply. It would be hard, she knew it would be hard. There was no guide for any of this. It was all so far beyond everything she had read, trained herself to help these children with. Even death, she could speak about, but watching someone suffer, and reconciliation of this level, she had no idea how to help the girl.
“You did, my dear, but that doesn’t mean it can be fixed.” She said kindly, and Wednesday swallowed. She knew what that meant. Her mother had told her quite a bit of your life, never as much as Wednesday wanted, but enough to know that betrayal would change how you saw her, forever.
“Betrayal from a member of one’s own blood is nearly unforgivable.” Wednesday said flatly, likely quoting something, and Larissa refrained from rolling her eyes at the girl’s melodramatics.
“You did not betray her, and I have no doubt in my mind that if you actually spoke to your aunt that this could be sorted.” She sighed, and Wednesday narrowed her eyes at the woman.
“Why are you helping me?” She said, and Larissa raised a brow. The girl’s nerve seemingly truly was unending.
“You are a student at Nevermore, Miss Addams.” She deadpanned, and Wednesday stared for a moment before realizing the woman was partially joking. At the very least she was aware of the irony. Wednesday knew her headmistress had tried to help her many times, even if the girl didn’t like it.
“You like her, my aunt.” She clarified, and Larissa swallowed, a blush creeping up her cheeks, it was far too early into what she and you had to discuss it with your niece, she was sure of that, yet the way the two of you had been connected, for years…
It didn’t feel new.
“The blush on your face says enough.” Wednesday said, almost sarcastically, and Larissa stiffened, swallowing down her brief lapse of professionalism. Wednesday was irksome, and Wednesday knowing more about the two of you would likely lead to her becoming even more so.
She thought for a moment, her mind spinning with the options she could take, the explanations she could give, the justifications she could use. Yet in the end, she decided on one, the only one she could really give. The truth.
“I do, yes.” She swallowed, surprised by the choking emotion seizing her throat when she admitted it. It felt like a wave washing over her, the tide of worry washing over her as something else was left, the love she had, to worry that much. “I like her very much, Wednesday.” She breathed, and Wednesday looked up at her, it was rare the headmistress used her first name, let alone so casually.
“Are you angry with me?” Wednesday asked, and Larissa looked to her in surprise. Frankly, she never expected the girl to care what she felt, she certainly knew Wednesday didn’t act like her actions had consequences on others. Her asking was new, certainly because of Larissa’s relation to you that the girl expressed an interest. Larissa could feel the fiery passion in herself, the need to protect you, the need to keep you safe overwhelming her, and for a brief moment she wasn’t sure if she was going to be able to speak to Wednesday about this.
Yet when she looked into the girl’s eyes, the same worried gaze she had seen many times on your face, her resolve hardened, slipping right back into place as she breathed deeply, steadying herself.
“I- I can understand that you worry your aunt prioritizes others over her own safety, and I’m sure it often feels like she priorities them over you as well.” Larissa started. “But you must know she would burn the world to protect you, if you needed protecting.” She said softly, looking down at the girl. Wednesday sighed, nodding. “You must know you mean the world to her.” She whispered, the softness slipping through the headmistress mask even startling Wednesday.
“I know.” She admitted, and Larissa nodded, looking towards the door. She tentatively reached out, her hand hovering just over Wednesday’s shoulder. She knew Wednesday didn’t like touch, only seeming to tolerate it from either you or Enid, yet something about the girl looked unstable, as if she needed a steady hand. Wednesday didn’t move, her eyes cutting to the headmistress’s hand, staring so intensely that the woman almost pulled away. Then, ever so minutely, Wednesday looked forward, giving an almost imperceptible nod as she swallowed, struggling with it all.
Larissa’s hand was cool on her shoulder, but strong. Strong and steady, like yours in a way. Where you were a burning fire, a source of warmth that could always be found, but never completely steady.
Larissa was stone. She was almost untouchable feeling, yet steady as could be. Capable of sharpening and cutting in ways that would make people shrink away from her. Yet there were few things stronger. Larissa’s hand on her shoulder was foreign, but it was safe, it was steady enough for Wednesday to allow it. To appreciate it, the silence of the gesture, even if she would never admit it.
The two stood in silence for a moment, staring at the door.
They both wanted to go in, wanted to see you, but they didn’t know if you would want to see them, if you could even tolerate it. They stood there, paralyzed, unsure.
It was quiet, painfully so. You were often so warm and loud, and the silence, the lack of life behind the door was almost terrifying. You couldn’t be heard playing music, or humming, if the door was open there would be no soft sounds of typing or your own scratching across paper. You wouldn’t be grading assignments, or working on formulas, or anything. You’d be… Wednesday wasn’t sure she could imagine where you’d be, if she even wanted to.
Eventually it was Wednesday who bit the bullet, placing her hand on the door before hesitating, looking at Larissa.
“Is it- is it still that bad?” She asked the shapeshifter, and Larissa closed her eyes for a moment, steeling herself and shaking her head. Heaven help her, she didn’t know how to protect Wednesday from this. The girl had been through so much already. Under her own watch Wednesday had seen murders, even committed one, and now this.
“I don’t know, but you should be prepared for her to be in pain.” She managed, and Wednesday took a deep breath in, trying to calm herself. It was a shocking moment of vulnerability Larissa witnessed, seeing the girl like this. Her hand fell from Wednesday’s shoulder as the girl rolled them back before she opened the door.
The room was dark, all the lights were out except for the fire glowing across from the bed. She could see you laid out there, your leg still a little twisted and your head turned away from the door.
You wouldn’t look.
Your breaths were a little quicker, as if you were trying to calm yourself, to work through the pain. Larissa swallowed, you had really just gone to the bed and laid down, taking the weight off your hip and trying to relax your body, now wound tight with anxiety and stress.
You didn’t move when the door opened, the light spilling into the front of the room, your body still obscured in the dark. The silence rang out for a moment, nothing but the three of you breathing, the two others hanging in your doorway, wondering if you were alright, if you would even let them know that you were.
You were exhausted, ashamed, horrified, all manners of things you didn’t want either of them to see. You were scared.
You sighed, wiping away the tears that had come, but didn’t turn your face towards them. You knew what it looked like. It was ugly, yes, but worse than that it was horrifying. You remembered the way the other children at Newflight would look at you, horrified, waiting, praying they wouldn’t be next. It wasn’t the scar itself, no, it was what it meant that bothered you. That made you want to- need to hide it.
“Ophelia?” Larissa called softly, and although she could tell that you were awake, no response came. You simply stared at the ceiling, her voice far away. You couldn’t bring yourself to look, to show your face, to come out of the pain and spiraling in your mind.
“Auntie?” Called your niece, and you closed your eyes, willing no more tears to come as you sat up a bit, swallowing and situating yourself against the headboard. Larissa you didn’t know if you could pretend for, but for Wednesday, you had to.
You tried to smile, looking at them both, but keeping the scarred side of your face away from them, keeping your face on an angle.
“Hello there,” you said a bit breathlessly, trying to hide how much effort it took you to do something as little as sit up. Your voice was heavy, scratching its way out of your throat. You had been crying.
Larissa fought the urge to run to you, to help you, to hold you and do everything for you until your body righted itself again. She wanted to care for you, desperately. She needed to. She needed to make sure you were alright, to help you be alright, all of it.
Wednesday didn’t move, she just stared. She could tell that you weren’t showing her parts of your body on purpose, and it made her feel angry and almost, scared, at the same time. The one thing she was positive about, however, was that she didn’t like it. You didn’t hide yourself from her, and she didn’t hide herself from you. That was how you two were. Even if you couldn’t tell her where you were or what you were doing all the time, you didn’t hide your ability, even the darker parts, from her.
“Auntie, are you going to…” Wednesday couldn’t finish the sentence. She couldn’t live in a world, couldn’t even imagine one, where you weren’t ok.
She needed you.
You breathed in deeply, patting the bed next to you, Larissa looked nervously to Wednesday, and the girl approached you slowly, cautiously.
“I will be alright, yes, and it will hurt, for a while, but my body knows these wounds love, it knows how to go on with them, and they will revert soon, another few hours, maybe less.” You sighed. Wednesday stared at you for a bit, and you stared dead ahead, into the fire, not turning your face, not letting her see the massive scar there. You knew it wouldn’t be enough for the curious girl, but part of you prayed that for once she would leave it be.
“How did- how did it happen?” She asked, and you hummed, your jaw tightening for a moment. Of course she wouldn’t leave it, you should have known better than to hope.
You never wanted her to see this. You were not necessarily ashamed of what had been done to you, but allowing your niece to see you like this, your body twisted, your face cut, the scars you knew would be there if you removed the catsuit, all of it was something she did not need to see, ever. There were words carved into your skin, the scars were light now, but with how close Wednesday was, if your skin was bare, she would see them. You shivered are the thought, and Larissa came over to you, pulling a spare blanket at the foot of the bed over your lap, almost nervously before standing unsure across the bed from where Wednesday was sitting. You flinched, looking down and turning into your shoulder a bit, knowing she was on the side of your scar.
She didn’t know what to do, you knew that. You knew that she was likely confused and unsure of what was going on. You knew she had no idea how to handle you like this. Yet still, knowing she could see them made your throat tighten all over again.
Larissa’s eyes went wide, looking anywhere but you, worried that she had somehow made you uncomfortable. The last thing she wanted was to upset you further. It was already in her school that this had happened, under her watch, but the way you looked, pained, ashamed of it all, it almost broke her.
She immediately went to leave, only to find your hand wrapped around her wrist, surprising her as you kept her there.
You couldn’t look at her, you couldn’t stand looking in those perfect eyes right now, but you could feel her. You closed your eyes for a moment, taking a shaky breath as you felt the beat of her pulse under your fingertips, just feeling her. You had done this dance many times before. You had been exposed, had to explain yourself, you had been in much, much more bare positions, with much crueler people standing over you. You had been like this with men who would kill you, and do much worse for their entertainment. This somehow hurt worse, being exposed to those you cared for was worse, yet you didn’t have to go through this alone.
When you opened your eyes again, you still stared straight ahead, not at her, yet your face didn’t seem quite as hard.
Larissa looked down at her hand, not at you, surprised by your blackened fingers around her. You ran them over her pulse point, feeling her skin for a moment before you took a breath in, wordlessly turning down the covers next to you, asking for her to lay with you.
You needed her. Heaven help you, you needed her.
Larissa stared in shock, her eyes going to Wednesday for a moment, unsure. Wednesday stared at what you had done intensely, anger causing her nose to twitch.
Rage filled her. You would accept Ms Weems, who you barely knew, but not her? She wasn’t allowed to see your face, but this- this woman was? It enraged her beyond all reason-
“Wednesday, my love,” you rasped. Your voice was more strained than either of them had ever heard “You matter more to me than anyone in this world. Protecting you, matters more to me than anything in this world,” you swallowed, bracing yourself before you did what you were about to do. You sat up, slowly, painfully, but sat up the whole way and turned your body towards your niece, showing her your face.
Wednesday’s eyes became glassy as she looked at it, really looked at it. The Chelsea smile cut permanently into your face, stretching a few inches past the left corner of your lips. It didn’t look real, it didn’t make sense how someone could do this to another person.
“Yes, I leave, and yes, it is easier for me to let Miss Weems see this side of me, but that does not mean I care any less about you Wednesday.” You breathed. “There are people, who if they knew who I was, who I was when I’m not- who I am when I’m with you, they would stop at nothing to take you, and do things like this to you, to force me to do things, horrible things-” Your hands shook as you took hers, the both of you so hesitant to touch, yet so accepting of each other’s. You couldn’t finish the thought, you could not imagine what was done to you being done to her. “I was in this life before you were born, and I- I cannot leave it, even if I wanted to, I cannot.” You swallowed, feeling the tears begin to come. “So please, please know that I am not trying to keep away from you, I am trying to keep you away from this.” You whispered, your voice nearly breaking at the end.
Wednesday stared at you for a bit, and you were uncertain if she would move closer, if she would accept it, if she would accept you. You would understand it if she couldn’t. And it would break you. When she fell into your chest, her arms surrounding your mangled body, the breath escaping you took all your fear with it.
“I love you, Wednesday, please tell me you know that.” You whispered softly, and she nodded, just holding on.
“I know.” She said back, and your hands rubbed her back gently before she pulled away, staring up at your face. You swallowed, meeting her eyes, trying not to hide your scar on instinct. You knew she was no longer little, but she was a child nonetheless, and children had run from you more than once for the sight of your face.
She reached up, her face unreadable, and you heard Larissa’s breath hitch behind you. You reached for her hand, holding it tight as your niece ran her fingers over your scar.
You closed your eyes, trying to hide your shaky hand as Larissa squeezed it tight, holding you there as best she could. It felt like you might run any moment, as if it would become too much and you would just run, run so far neither of them would ever see you again.
Your scar had various parts where you had no feeling, but even with your eyes closed you could mostly tell where she was. You could tell when ever your gore-loving niece hesitated over the deeper parts. Perhaps she was learning that gore and violence were less amusing when they were a part of someone you loved.
“How?” She asked flatly, and you hummed, opening your eyes to see hers shining with tears. You had finally found something that made her cry, it seemed.
“A feeding tube, at first, that they pumped drugs down, then the metal restraint to hold my jaw open slowly started to tear the skin, eventually they cut it the rest of the way rather than continue to pry it open and deal with it eventually ripping the corner of my mouth.” You explained calmly, and the girl nodded, a singular tear rolling down her cheek.
“When- when did it happen?” She asked, and again you sighed, trying to grapple with the fact you would never tell her this if she hadn’t already seen it. You never wanted her to know, not this side of you. You loved being her aunt, being fun and wild and more than slightly mad as a hatter. You never wanted to be the medic in front of her, much less the failed experiment you had been as a child.
“When I was young,” you said quietly. “It- it was a long time ago.” You managed, and felt Larissa’s hand tighten around you. She moved a little closer to you and you leaned back towards her on instinct, surprising even yourself. You didn’t know why you did that, it had just seemed… natural.
She instantly adjusted herself slightly closer to you, letting you lean back on her chest, relieving your hips of some of the tension of holding yourself up, making you sigh in relief so softly it was almost imperceptible.
Larissa felt her own body relax the moment she felt it in yours, the strength of her arms never faltering. You were letting her help, she could breathe again. You were letting her close, letting her aid you, at least in some way. The relief that settled into her by no means outweighed the worry, but it helped, at least somewhat.
Wednesday just sat there, looking between the two of you before you leaned the whole way back on Larissa and pulled Wednesday into your lap. Wednesday resisted for a moment, but the second your normally strong hands faltered she moved with you easily. You grimaced, your jaw tightening as you took the girl’s weight, yet you knew you needed her against you, just as you needed Larissa with you.
Wednesday stiffened, casting a glance over your shoulder at her headmistress, who was as tense as could be as the girl joined you both. She had no idea what she was doing here, Wednesday was your family and she was… she was a new lover, at best. Yet you two had known each other, parts of each other at least, for so long. She felt out of place, and her body was rigid as you looked down at your glaring niece.
“Quit pretending you don’t like her and let me rest, Wednesday.” You sighed, closing your eyes, and the girl glared at you but did so, laying half on your lap as you laid on Larissa, who in turn was leaning against the headboard.
She still felt out of place with the two of you, terribly so. But then your hand, nearly shaking, closed around hers, and though you didn’t look at her, she could see the plea in you then. You took a shaking breath in, aware of the fragility of the situation. But for just a moment, just a little while, you needed to be protector and protected, for just a little.
Your eyes drifted closed for a moment, Larissa watching with bated breath as your hand relaxed slightly in yours, but didn’t let go, not if anything it almost seemed like your body was trying to burrow into her from behind, as if you wanted to surround yourself with her. She briefly wondered if you could, if your plants would enable you to drift away from consciousness, into her. You wouldn’t sleep, but the tension between your brows eased slightly
“If we call my mother we might win a dysfunctional family award.” Wednesday said, and you scoffed, your eyes still closed as you chuckled a bit.
“Forget your mother, you want dysfunction, call her parents.” You snarked, and Wednesday smirked as Larissa looked mildly appalled.
“Please Ophelia, for my sake, I’d rather not break the nose of a relative of a student and last time it got rather close.” She said, and you hummed, somewhere between happy and mildly turned on at the idea of her doing that, your face flushing slightly to match the smirk working its way there.
Larissa watched your face, how your familiar smirk was the same, if emphasized by your scarring. You always smirked on the right side, she realized. Perhaps this was why, it made her smile a bit, even if the scarring was there, even if it proved your pain, it was still you, and you were still beautiful.
She wanted to touch them, to run her fingers over every scar on your body. She swallowed as she realized she wanted to kiss them, to whisper hot beautiful you were against your skin, until you felt it more than heard it, until she could feel you beleive it.
“If Miss Weems gets to hit my grandparents do I get to hit them?” She asked, and you breathed out your nose. You certainly wouldn’t mind them being hit, however you could not encourage Wednesday to do so.
“No one is hitting those…. People that produced my sister.” You managed in a voice that was slightly less then absolutely dripping with unadulterated hatred.
“Subtle.” Wednesday snarked, and you swatted her head without opening your eyes. You regretted it as pain shot through your body at the sudden movement, only to be eased by Larissa’s hand immediately at your hip, just barely holding you. You knew logically it shouldn’t have done anything, yet somehow it eased you, if only releasing the additional tension you were causing yourself.
“As your principal, I cannot encourage violence.” Larissa began.
“We are literally cuddling my aunt together.” Wednesday stated flatly and Larissa tried not to be horrified by that as you lay between them.
You were aware of the fragility of the moment. The only reason Larissa was willing to do this, to hold you, with your niece in the room, in the bed even, was because your body physically needed the support. At least that is what she told herself. Alarms were going off in her head at the impropriety of the situation, not just being so, personal, in front of the girl but actually sharing the action of holding you with her was almost horrifying.
But you needed her. The fact that you had reached for her at all meant you were likely in far greater pain than you let on.
“If you scare her off, I will make you study aphrodisiac pollen that leaves you with a permanent blush and stains your hands and clothes pink for a week.” You jokingly warned the girl, who scoffed, but didn’t move to argue any more.
“What I was going to say before you reminded me of that… situation,” Larissa swallowed. “Was that if we were to go off grounds and out of Jericho I technically wouldn’t be liable for your actions, but don’t wear your uniform.” She hummed, and it was her turn to be swatted. She chuckled, catching your hand and kissing the tips of your fingers, making you open your eyes and gaze at her in surprise, she had kissed you. She had seen you, and kissed you. Wednesday gaged.
“You disgust me.” She said, and you raised a brow, looking down at her in your lap.
“Would you rather me go back to-“
“No.” she said shortly, and you raised both your brows. “If you must express… interest , in someone, at least you picked someone intelligent and…” the girl sighed, as if admitting it was painful. “Someone I respect.” She said, and you hummed, leaning down and kissing her forehead, making her swat you away before you laid back, leaving Larissa wide eyed and shocked. You looked up at her and chuckled. You knew Wednesday would have a hard time admitting she liked the headmistress, just as you knew she did, however Larissa’s shock was amusing, and a bit endearing, either way.
“My god.” Larissa whispered, almost concerned, as if Wednesday had just sone something impossible, and you laughed a bit louder. Did Wednesday just admit to liking her?
“Bring it up again and I will blackmail you both.” Wednesday threatened, and you raised a brow.
“And how is miss Sinclair?” You asked and she immediately turned red, making you humm. Despite the pain and exhaustion, something about the two women with you made you feel a bit more at ease.
“Mhm, thought so.” You smiled, brushing a blackened hand through her bangs, and she glared at you.
“Miss Sinclair,” Larissa mused. “Took you two long enough.” She sighed, and you burst out laughing again as Wednesday slowly debated if death was a better option than her current predicament. You giggled before realizing the girl was actually getting upset, immediately tampering down and patting Larissa’s leg. You felt the muscle tense under you, as if she was surprised you were touching her, despite the fact that you were largely laying on top of her.
Larissa’s heart was racing. You were laying on top of her, likely still in horrific pain, as Wednesday Addams of all people was on the other side of you, with her ! Every time you laughed she felt relief, yet she could see and feel the tension in your movements, the ache in you.
“Alright, alright, we’ll lay off, won’t we Larissa?” You encouraged, and the woman nodded.
“Of course, I didn’t mean anything by it Miss Addams.” She apologized, and you rolled your eyes.
“For Christ’s sake, the formalities you two.” You groaned, and both of them smirked a bit, having realized they had something to tease you with. Heaven help you.
“Well you had to go and fall for my headmistress.” Wednesday said, playing up her upset affect as best she could, making you roll your eyes. It was still much flatter than most, but the fact she was trying amused you.
“And really? Dating the woman responsible for your niece’s education? Entirely inappropriate.” Larissa added.
“Not to mention your boss.” They both said in unison, and you looked between them both. The shared a small smirk across you, making your heart bloom, and you bit back your own smile as you played at horrified.
“Never do that again.” You said in mock horror. “I don’t know if I can handle the both of you agreeing on things, there’s quite enough going on.” You hummed, laying back again comfortably, and the two of them shared a conspiratorial glance, your and Larissa’s hearts soaring at Wednesday’s seeming acceptance.
“Do I get to interrogate her?” Wednesday asked, and you sighed, closing your eyes again. Honestly, at this point, you were too exhausted to stop her.
“Don’t be cruel, and ask her.” You answered tiredly, and Larissa looked at you for help as a small smile appeared on your face.
You clearly weren’t helping her.
“Where did you go to school?” Wednesday started with, and Larissa sighed, clearly this was something she would have to do.
“You realize you cannot share any of my personal information.” She warned the girl.
“Or what, you’ll expel me?” She snarked, and you finally decided to participate.
“Or I’ll tell your mother about the boy, or worse, Enid .” You warned right back, and Wednesday looked at you in utter horror.
“Deal.” She said quickly, and you nodded, never opening your eyes.
Larissa looked to you, slightly worried. She worked very hard to keep her personal life just that, personal, and the last thing she wanted was a student gossiping. You must have felt her eyes on you, because you looked up, your own eyes calm, despite the pain she knew you were in.
You looked sure, sure that everything would be alright, that you wouldn’t let Wednesday dig too deep, or reveal anything she had learned. Larissa swallowed nervously, and you took her hand, nodding a bit from your place, half laying on her.
“Cambridge.” She replied, and Wednesday hummed.
“Decent.” She said, and you scoffed.
“Excellent and you know it, play nice.” You said, and she sighed. She hated admitting it, clearly, amusing you. As much as the girl would like to be an adult, she still was such a child about certain things.
“Fine, it is.” Wednesday admitted. “Why did you want to work with students?” She asked, and Larissa hummed, thinking for a moment. She had half expected Wednesday to demand a list of former paramours for research and to begin giving her a shovel talk again. This, this was strangely nice. It seemed the girl truly did want to know, surprising the headmistress.
“I enjoy, I enjoy attempting to give you lot a better chance than the generation before, a chance at higher education and a larger community of acceptance.” She said, and you smiled a bit at her words and Wednesday nodded.
“Is that why you push so hard for Nevermore’s relations with those who treat us so poorly?” She asked, a bit bitterly, and Larissa nodded her head slowly. She knew she had bent over backwards many times, trying to find a way to give her students every opportunity, scrounging for outreach days and trips to the fair only to be treated like wild animals. She had done things she wasn’t proud of, but she had also made strides in the right direction.
“Yes,” she began. “I do push boundaries, and I’m aware you do not enjoy my forgiveness of the normies, especially those in Jericho, however it is my only option if I want to benefit the school, and therefore it’s students, in the long run.” She answered carefully, and you smiled a bit, listening to her mind work.
There were many beautiful things about her, but that was perhaps one of your favorites, her mind never ceased to utterly amaze you. The way she could wrap her brain around something in a matter of moments, pivot a question on a dime, de-escalate a situation, it amazed you.
Wednesday thought over the answer for a moment, accepting it eventually.
“Why do you like my aunt?” She asked, and that one you were surprised by. You hushed the girl, laughing it off, desperate to move the conversation on. That you- that you didn’t need to hear. Larissa had seen what you were, and while you weren’t ashamed of your scars, you knew that others could see what had been done to you, you knew that they were often looked on in disgust.
“Wednesday, please, you don’t have to-“ you started, only to feel Larissa’s hand wrap tighter around your own, cutting you off as your mouth went dry. She wouldn’t… would she? Admitting the vulnerability of being close to someone the way you two were was hard enough, Larissa admitting it was harder, and Larissa admitting it to a student, even your niece, seemed damn near impossible.
“Well,” she began, trying to put it into words. “You like things, dark, twisted, confusing, a puzzle for you to figure out, like your novel, correct Wednesday?” She asked the girl, and you were officially stunned into silence, having no idea where this was going. Wednesday simply nodded silently. “Well I like things neat, calm, organized, in order.” She began, and your mind spun as you thought.
You were… none of those things. You knew she would never insult you in front of Wednesday, but truly, you had no idea how you could possibly be any of those things. You were, chaotic, messy, unruly, you were truly none of the things she enjoyed, yet her hand stayed firm around yours, her thumb beginning to stroke your skin lightly when she felt you tense.
“I like all of that, yes. Believe me, my years at Nevermore have likely only made me more steadfast in my ways.” She laughed a bit at herself. “However, part of me, I suppose what some romantics would call my heart, although I doubt you would tolerate such blatant romanticism,” she teased the girl, “That part of me wants the wild, at the very least unruly. I more than like it. It’s the freedom I find so rarely in this world.” She said calmly, wonderfully articulately.
You just listened in shock, your throat becoming heavy with emotion as the woman spoke. She made it so, innocent. She made it feel right .
“I like your aunt’s smile. I like that her hair seems to be oblivious to the rules of physics.” She chuckled a bit, and you felt yourself blush. “I like the way she lives, authentically, much bolder than I do-“ you shook your head at that, but she ignored you. “I find it beautiful, and freeing. She’s- oh forgive me, She’s a breath of fresh air.” Larissa smiled, and you simply stared off in wonder, amazed at this woman.
Your hand tightened around hers, wanting her closer, needing to tell her all the things you felt, even if you didn’t- couldn’t speak as articulately as she could. You may never. Wednesday just hummed, thinking for a moment before she got up.
She approved then.
“I- I want to have dinner with you both. When it’s ready.” She said, and you nodded, smiling a bit.
“Yes, I beleive Eliana will watch the pot, if it’s left on. The woman that was with us, if you run into her could you please-“ the girl cut you off.
“I will auntie, rest.” Is all she said before she left the room, and you and Larissa were left in silence, her holding your twisted body. You didn’t know if you had the words.
Silence reigned for a while, your body trembling slightly as you felt the tears begin to come again. You held them back this time, only barely, and only thanks to Larissa’s soothing arms around you, her hands brushing over your own covered arms. You shuddered to think what she would do, how she would look at you, if she saw everything else under the sleeves and high neck of the bodysuit you were wearing. You didn’t want her to look at you that way, you didn’t want it to change.
“I love you.” You whispered softly, and Larissa’s breath hitched. Her heart hammered in her chest as she heard how weak it sounded, how, defeated, you sounded.
“Oh, darling.” She breathed, her own throat closing up as she held you, closer, steadier than ever. You had terrified her. You were scaring her right now. She had no idea how much pain you were in, how long it would take you to recover, if you would even be alright. None of it. It terrified her. She had run out of words, she poured them all into you. So instead, she buried her nose in your hair, inhaling your scent deeply, trying to feel the weight of you, the warmth of you in her arms. You breathed in deeply, placing your hands, ever so gently, carefully, over hers.
“I could have hurt you.” You said quietly, the tears once again returning to your eyes. “Christ Larissa, I could have killed you,” you rasped, and she shook her head, hushing you. Now was not the time. She could dissuade you of your self hatred later, now, she needed to comfort you.
“Ophelia, please,” she whispered, and the slight cry in her voice caught you off guard. “Please, I just need to hold you.” She almost begged, and your heart shattered.
She was terrified you would pull away again, that you would hide inside yourself and shut her out, that you would leave her. She could handle so much, but you leaving her? She didn’t know if-
She heard you hiss, struggling as you turned yourself over in her arms. Her hands braced you in a moment, almost picking you up and laying you down on top of her, your head resting on her chest, turning so you could listen to her heartbeat.
“I’m not going anywhere.” You whispered, and you felt the shifter try not to cry under you. “I scared you, didn’t I?” You asked her quietly, and she nodded, breathing in shakily as her arms wrapped around you a little tighter. Larissa was strong, yes, often cold seeming, but she was by no means unmovable.
“I- I’ve never- when we were at your hospital, and Jenkins injected you, I thought that was the worst I would see it. I- good lord I’ve seen you die Ophelia, but seeing you in pain, it-“ she cut herself off, taking a deep breath as she steadier herself, her voice strong, hard, when she spoke again. “I promise you, I will never let anyone do this to you again.” She wispered, her voice so full of conviction it took your breath away.
You wanted so badly to beleive her.
“It’ll be alright.” You swallowed, hiding in her neck. “It’ll be alright, it just takes time. I promise,” you whispered against her skin, and she nodded, swallowing as she inhaled the scent of petrichor and flowers that seemed to cling to you. You wanted to be better, you wanted your body to listen to you, to do what you knew it was capable of. Yet a much deeper, much more fragile part of you just wanted her to never see you this, weak, again.
You wrapped your arms around her tighter, holding on to her and placing a gentle kiss at the base of her neck, making the woman’s hands grab onto you a touch tighter. Your breath hitched against her slightly, surprised by the reaction.
“Still?” You asked her, and she sighed exasperatedly, shaking her head.
“Wanting you never stops, Ophelia.” She breathed, and you hummed, kissing her again, making her blush. “Darling, not now, you don’t have to-“ she began, only for you to reach up and brush a hair of hers behind her ear. Unfortunately for her, pulling her into bed with you had messed her forever perfect hair, allowing a few strands to fall. You loved it. She looked at you, her lips twitching into a frown at the sight of your face, and you swallowed, realizing what it was. You looked down and away, hiding the scar from her as you took a few shaky breaths.
“I’m sorry, I- I know that others are not used to seeing them-“ she cut you off, her hand gently pushing the curls back from your face before trailing along your jaw, only inches from the scar. Your breath stuttered.
You had been touched there, certainly, in fact your niece had done just that only a few minutes ago. Only this, this was Larissa touching it, this was new. Your lips parted slightly as you sucked in a breath.
“I am not used to seeing it, no,” Larissa whispered, her voice soft and warm, unlike her normally cool hands. “But I am not bothered by it, not by any more than the idea of someone- someone-“ she couldn’t find the words, you saw her eyes harden with anger as her upper lip pulled into almost a sneer. You placed your hand on her wrist, calling her attention back to you.
You needed her, she realized.
Your gray eyes were shining in the low light, wide and full of something she couldn’t quite place, somewhere between hope and worry, somewhere where she wouldn’t leave you on own.
“It does not bother me, my love.” She whispered, her hand tracing softly over the scar. You shivered, your eyes closing, all of it was too much, far too much, but just focusing on her hand, that was perfect. A shudder ran through your body, her fingertips leaving your skin tingling in their wake. “It’s just another part of you.” She whispered, her fingers tracing the scar in its entirety before settling on your lips.
Your eyes opened, focusing on her with an intensity she certainly did not expect you to have at the moment.
“Kiss me,” you whispered, and she swallowed, her arm winding around you tighter.
“Ophelia, you’re in pain, I shouldn’t-“
“ Please ,” your whisper was almost broken, and Larissa could see how desperate you were, just for closeness. This was the kind of reassurance you needed. “Please, just- mmmph !” You moaned, feeling her lips press against yours.
You whimpered against her, relief flooding your body. She still wanted you, even like this, she still wanted you.
You arms wound around her closer, even laying on top of her you could still reach around enough to slip a hand into her hair, the other keeping you from fully collapsing against her. Her strong hands pushed their way up your back, pulling you impossibly closer. You gasped as you felt them grip your sides, pulling you down to her just a bit more.
“I’ve got you,” she whispered against your lips, no idea where the possessiveness was coming from, but aparently it was just what you needed to hear. She felt you nod against her, tears slowly slipping from your eyes as she sat up, very carefully maneuvering you to lay down beneath her.
“You’re beautiful, Ophelia,” she whispered, and you turned away from the praise, looking off into the dark only for her warm hand settling on your cheek to pull you back “No, look at me.” She whispered, her hand cradling your scar as she turned you back to her.
You shuddered at the contact, an ache beggining to make its way through you, an entirely different kind of ache than the pain currently permeating you. This kind of ache warmed you, made you lean into her hands, her skin, even if you were unsure. You trusted her, you repeated to yourself in your mind. You trusted her and now you wanted her, wanted her to take you by the hand and make your body forget the pain it was in, the fear that had gripped you when she first saw you.
“I- I may not be like you, I may not fight like you do, but I swear to you, I promise you that every word I give you, it’s- you, you’re beautiful ,” she settled on, watching the glittering tears form in your eyes. You were overwhelmed, thoroughly overwhelmed. Her words, her touch, even the scent of her, having her in the same bed as you, it was overwhelming. Yet when you thought you would lose yourself in the sea of stimulation, you found her eyes, her hydrangea blue eyes, calling you like a lighthouse in the storm.
“I- I trust you,” you whispered, and she leaned down, kissing you once again before her lips brushed against yours, parting just enough to whisper.
“I love you too, Ophelia,” she whispered, and you whimpered, your arms wrapping around her and pulling you to her. You didn’t know how she did it. You didn’t know how she knew what you meant, but you knew what you felt. You knew she meant the world to you. In that moment, she meant the world to you.
You reached up to kiss her more only to freeze. Your hands suddenly clenched into fists in the fabric of her clothing, you whimpered as you tucked your head into her shoulder, your breathing ragged as your body shook.
“Ophelia- Ophelia!” Larissa worried, feeling you quite literally tremble in her hands. She knew you could get overwhelmed, that touch was, different, for you, but you looked scared, you looked in more pain. At least you felt it as you clutched to her, hiding your face in her shoulder. She could feel the tears soaking through the blouse she was wearing, something was wrong, very wrong. Oh god, was she hurting you? “Ophelia!” She hissed, and you gasped for breath, trying to speak through the odd feeling of your body twisting back into place.
“I’m- im fine, j-just, it’ll stop in a- a moment-“ you stammered as your body righted itself, your hip twisting back into place, making you gasp as it shifted back with a ‘pop.’
You relaxed almost instantly, falling to the bed and panting slightly. When Larissa looked at you again your scars were gone, the one across your face at least, leaving only the vines winding around your arms, covered wight now as you were laying in the tight sweater-shirt you had put on that morning, a tartan skirt covering your legs, which now seemed to lay in a more comfortable position. She smiled a bit as she dropped her hand to your waist, wrapping it around you to pull you up into her a bit. The action was more supportive than anything, yet you gasped, looking into her eyes with a fire as your lips parted on instinct, your mouth going dry as you ached for her.
“The pain?” She whispered, her eyes scanning over you, partly clouded by worry, but utterly mesmerized at the hold her aunt’s ability still had on you, even if she was gone.
“Fading.” You whispered, a slight smile forming in the corner of your lips. Your smile, full of wonder as you stared up at the woman, this time without the scar that stretched across your face. Larissa exhaled in relief as she saw your body relax slightly, as she felt it in her hands. Your legs parted gently, your hip no longer twisted meant she could fully lay between them, her weight settling on your lower body and making your eyes darken even more.
“Wonderful,” she whispered, and you nodded a bit, pulling her down again to your lips. She hummed against you, her lips pressing softly to yours before her hands reached around you a little tighter. She needed to feel it, needed to feel how you had healed, the strength she knew in you, she was desperate for it, and you opened yourself up to her exploration equally so. “You’re alright,” she whispered against your lips, and you shuddered, nodding before arching up to kiss her again.
You needed her just the same, you needed her there, against you, you needed to feel the safety and comfort she gave you, the security she gave you. Heaven help you, you knew you weren’t supposed to trust anyone, that letting someone this close to you was dangerous, for everyone.
“I’m alright,” you nodded, putting everything you had into convincing the both of you. You were fine now, physically, but it didn’t take away how utterly shaken you were, how desperately you needed her, needed her close. “ Please ,” you whispered, not even knowing what you were asking for. You hadn’t cried in front of your niece, you wouldn’t cry in front of her. Wednesday never needed to see you like that. Yet here, with Larissa, with her, you were safe. “Please, I need…” you didn’t even know what it was.
“I know,” was all she whispered as she pulled you closer to her body, the warmth of her against you as she deepened the kiss, taking your mind’s ability to focus on anything but her.
You needed to know she still wanted you. That after everything, she still ached for you just as you ached for her.
You wrapped your arms around her shoulders, pulling her closer, your hands digging into her slightly as you moaned, desperate to have her with you, with you like this, again. The ache in your body only grew, settling between your legs as your kiss became messy, needy. She could feel your nails on her, how you dug into her just slightly in need to have her close. Your breath was fanning over her lips, a flush across your face as your gray eyes became darker and darker with want.
Larissa swallowed, she knew that look. That was the look you had given her the first time the two of you had kissed, the look you had given her before you touched her for the first time, before she touched you. A shudder ripped through her,
“Are you sure you want-“
“Yes, yes, I just need you,” you panted against her, and she groaned as she swiped her tongue over your bottom lip, feeling you immediately open up for her.
Her hands slipped under the sweater you were wearing, and you led her down, under your skirt, where she found you blazing for her. She knew your body was warm, but good lord, you really did need her.
“Larissa,” you panted, your breath hitching as you kissed her again. You could feel how wet you were getting, how heat stained your face and chest, your whole body flushing as her hand moved down. You could feel your nipples peeking under your bra, the sensation making you shiver against her.
She had no idea why you were like this, and frankly part of it worried her, but the sounds you were making, she couldn’t deny you. She kissed you again before leaning down, nuzzling into your neck as she just cupped your cunt, making you wait as heat bloomed through your lower abdomen.
You moaned, the sensation confusing you a bit. No one had ever done this, but as her lips began to nip at your neck and you felt the urge to grind into her palm you understood. She was warming you up, you didn’t need it, by any means, but just the care she took with you had your chest heaving a little faster, your eyes wide as she continued.
“I have you darling,” she whispered, and you nodded, your mind going blank at the idea of her having you, of being hers. You were safe again, in her arms, giving yourself to her, this is what you needed.
“Sh- show me,” you whispered, and her hand pressed against you a little more soundly, making your breath hitch as you groaned.
“Show you what, my love?” She asked, her lips grazing over your throat, making you shudder. She wasn't teasing, the playfulness wasn’t there, she genuinely wanted to know, she wanted to know what had you this worked up so suddenly, what you needed.
“Show me you have me, that- that you want me, please, I need- I need to feel it,” you whispered, your voice breaking, “I need- I need to know you still want me,” you almost begged, your throat closing, tears threatening to fall again.
Larissa felt her heart break for you, leaning down and kissing you slowly, passionately, her hand cupping you pressing up as she dropped her hips down, letting you feel just how much she wanted you. You moaned, wrapping your hand into her hair and pulling her in for more kisses.
And then you were staring up at her with tears in those beautiful, sad, grey eyes. Your red hair washed over the pillow she had laid you down on, and she ran a hand through it tenderly, making you gasp as your eyes slipped closed when her palm pressed into your clit again, your jaw dropping open as you tilted your head back, tension blooming in between your hips in the best of ways.
Your hands jumped, fisting into her hair further and pulling her closer, and you squeezed your eyes tight, your hips canting down into her hand on instinct.
“Keep them closed, Ophelia, feel .” She instructed, and you nodded, swallowing down the nerves you felt. You knew she was staring at you. You knew as her hand slipped from between your legs to untuck your sweater her eyes were following every bit of skin revealed. You whimpered at the loss, your body arching up, desperate to find her hand again, before you felt her fingertips edging under the hem of your sweater. You swallowed, furrowing your brows, knowing her eyes were on you.
Those piercing blue eyes.
You didn’t know if you could bear looking at them, not right now.
The sweater was lost over your head, every touch slow, reverent and tender, her cool hands now warm with your skin. You gasped, arching up a bit, but keeping your eyes closed as she traced over the scars on your ribs.
You raked in a breath, feeling her fingertips blazing the path over your skin as even the slightest touch became infinitely more intense with your eyes closed. You felt the heat swell between your legs, the rush running through you lighting you up.
“That’s it, just like that, Ophelia.” She whispered, and you nodded, swallowing down the vulnerability, the exposure. She had seen it now, she had seen all of you, and you needed so desperately to know that she still wanted to be there.
Larissa’s hands trailed their way up, dancing along your ribs to your chest, swirling over your nipple so gently.
“Ah- Larissa ,” you panted, and you heard her bite back a groan at your reaction. You knew the sounds you made were pathetic, whimpering and whining, but she leaned down, kissing your neck, distracting you from yourself. “ Please ,” you whispered, your breath taken away by her ministrations.
The hint of her perfume was enough to calm you, just the slightest sweet smell brought you back to her.
“Kiss me, kiss me Larissa,” you begged softly, and she hummed, leaning down, letting you feel how close she was before her lips met yours gently, but so achingly meaningfully.
You nearly cried into her, but her thumbs brushed over your nipples ever so lightly and you arched up, your body begging for more stimulation.
“I love you,” you whispered as her lips left yours, leaving a trail across your cheek, over your jaw, down your throat, kisses part of you wished left red prints all over you. She nearly choked as she heard the words fall from your lips. When your eyes were closed, when you didn’t have to watch her looking at you, you could just feel , the fear of saying the words was less intense, less staggering.
She trailed your collar bone, her hands slipping your skirt down your legs as she kissed square on the center of your chest. Your body moved of its own accord, bending and arching for her, as if it trusted her to steer you well. The ache between your legs was becoming unbearable, and you spread them further, desperate for her attention.
“Please, Larissa, darling, I need you,” you whispered, the ache in your throat building at the sheer need you had for her. You needed the reassurance, the touches, you needed the love.
“So beautiful, my darling, utter perfection,” she whispered against your skin, and your hands shot to her, wrapping around her while you bit your lip, your eyes still closed as you felt her tongue circle your left nipple, sending even more heat between your legs, where she once again placed her hand to cup you, working you up even more.
The moan you let out was obscene, your hands in her hair clawing at her, bulling her closer.
Her teeth dragged over your nipple and you gasped, hissing her name as she hummed appreciatively. She switched to the other side, taking her time, and you felt every single breath that fell from her parted lips, each compliment, each utterance of security.
Her lips trailed up again as she began to move the heel of her palm against you, the intense pressure spread over your clit making you curl your face into her shoulder, grabbing onto her as she leaned down, whispering to you.
“Does that feel good, darling?” She asked, pressing a little harder against you. You almost sobbed in relief, nodding into her shoulder.
“Yes, yes , thank you,” you panted, and she took her palm away, making your eyes fly open to find her own staring into you, utterly mesmerized.
You were a flushed mess, your body arching and rolling up into her. Your chest was heaving, your eyes now blown wide open, the gray standing out amongst the high flush in your cheeks.
You looked up at her in sheer need, desperate for her hands on you, her fingers in you, you needed her inside. You needed your skin covered in hers, you needed to be laid down and touched and fucked and-
“Larissa! Please- oh god ,” you cried, her fingers slipping over your clit, the pressure lighter but so much more direct, making you gasp as you stared up at her.
You needed her to make love to you.
“I- yes- please darling, Larissa, I need- I need you close- I-“ she cut you off with a kiss as she sunk two of her fingers into you, making you cry out against her lips as her thumb brushed over your clit.
“I’ve got you,” she whispered again, and you nodded nonsensically against her lips, chasing them for more kisses. Her thrusts were sure, deep but not too rough, enough to claim you, but never force you.
“I love you,” you nearly sobbed against her, tears threatening to spill from your eyes. “I love you, I love you ,” you repeated, and you felt her hand stutter for a moment, shocked at how easily you were saying it.
“I love you too, darling, I’ve got you, I love you too,” she whispered against your lips, and you nodded, squeezing around her fingers with each thrust. You threw one leg over her hips, forcing her even closer to you as your hands frantically scrambled against the buttons of her shirt. You needed her skin on you, you needed her against you, to feel that all of her was there, now. You moaned, your breath hitching with each thrust as you attempted to get her shirt open.
“Off, off,” you nearly whined, “Please, I want to feel you, take it off,” you begged, pulling at the fabric in desperation as she nodded, holding herself up a little more so you could undo the final buttons, immediately pulling her against you and sighing at her warm skin against your. Her hardened nipples brushed against your chest and made you moan in the realization she was enjoying it, her body was enjoying it, her body still craved you, still wanted you.
She still wanted you.
The noises you made were obscene as she kissed your neck, her fingers pumping inside you. You brought your hand to your face, biting the back of your knuckles as you nearly cried in pleasure.
“Oh no darling, let me hear, I want you, Ophelia, I want all of you,” she panted, thrusting harder and making you nearly scream as you dropped your hand, your whole body feeling it as she hit a particular spot. It sent shockwaves through you, your entire body up to your scalp tingling in pleasure.
“ Oh fuck right there ,” you cried, your voice strained with the pleasure you were trying to speak through.
You felt her lips smile against you as she kissed her way up your throat, back to your jaw, nipping at the skin before kissing your lips so lovingly you thought you may just die. Your words became jumbled as your eyes rolled back, confused, her fingers hit so deep, so perfect, right where you needed them. She even smelled so, so good, her scent all around you as you squeezed down around her fingers.
Your legs were shaking, your hips bucking, you were so close, so close. She was making love to you, the woman you had held in your heart for years, Larissa Weems, was making love to you. After seeing your body, after knowing who you were and what you did, she was loving you, and it was everything.
“je t’aime, I love you, I love you, I- I-“ you stuttered, your voice getting higher and louder as she brought you right to the edge.
Larissa held your gaze for a moment, her gorgeous eyes like a beacon in a sea of the intensity running through your body. She looked down at you in utter adoration, and your mind absolutely melted.
“I love you too, Ophelia,” she whispered, and you screamed as you crashed over the edge, your hips bucking and your body arching beyond your control. Your eyes rolled back in your head as you felt like you nearly left your body, the rush of endorphins flooding your head and flushing your face red.
It took you a moment to realize you were still speaking, babbling in various languages, saying her name over and over, it felt like your brain had whited out as you shook, finally coming back to earth, just a bit.
You collapsed back against the bed, feeling her kissing your face, your neck, your chest, so gently, so lovingly. Your eyes must have closed at one point, because when you opened them she was looking at you in utter amazement, smiling down at you as her fingers slowly worked their way out, thrusts becoming shorter and shorter until she slipped out of you with ease.
“Ophelia,” she called your name gently, and you blinked once or twice, your head still spinning as your clit twitched, not yet done with the pleasure she gave you. You hissed, jumping a little as it did, not used to being touched at all, let alone so thoroughly you had aftershocks.
“Mmm?” You hummed blearily, and she smiled, an eyebrow arching into a cheeky smile. You raised one to match, only your face was still far too flushed for whatever expression you were attempting. “What is it?” You asked, and she gestured around, the small smile on her face growing much larger as your lips fell slightly in shock.
That’s when you noticed it. The entire room was covered in rose vines, blooming shades of white, cream, pink, and burgundy, bathing the room in the sweet smell of roses, flowers everywhere.
You gasped, sitting up so fast you nearly fell back as your head spun. You had certainly never done that before, nothing like that.
Larissa caught you, her arms winding around you to hold you up as one of your legs still lazily fell behind her.
You stared up at her, her smile was just, magical. You lived in a world of witches, sirens, and potions. But she, she was magical. You could have sworn her smile could have healed any broken part of you.
“It’s beautiful, you are beautiful,” she said, and you looked at her, eyes shining. Larissa was a beautiful woman. She had always been a beautiful woman. She had silvery white hair that cascaded down if she let it, she had bluer eyes than you had ever seen, red lips to match, an image of perfection. She may have been sculpted by the Greek masters for all you knew, you would have believed it if she had told you she was, yet when you looked at her, she called you beautiful. She had seen you at your lowest. She had seen the scars that covered your body, she had seen you unable to move, she had seen you barely in control of your ability, she had seen you.
“I love you too,” was all you said as you pulled her into a sweltering kiss. “I love you,” you whispered again as you pushed her down on the mattress, “I love you” as you left burning trails from your blackened fingers, ghosting over pale pink skin. “I love you,” as you slipped off her skirt, settling yourself on top of her, one leg on either side of hers as you leaned down to kiss her, showing her just how much you did.
The words flowed so freely as you began to settle yourself onto her, her clit catching on yours, dragging a gasp from her throat.
She knew how wet you were, her fingers had just been inside you a moment ago, but feeling it against her? Feeling you drip against her own cunt was fucking filthy, and she loved it.
“Oh- darling, I-“ she stuttered. You had barely been able to be touched by her before, and now all of your skin, all of you was against her, and it made her head spin. And you loved her. You said it. You said it again and again as you began to grind your hips.
Her face flushed even darker as she felt how wet you were, how the two of you mixed together as her hips began to thrust, frantically meeting yours.
“Fuck, fuck Larissa, good lord you feel so fucking good,” you hissed, your breath becoming unsteady as you squeezed her hands in yours.
Larissa felt her mind nearly melt it felt so good. Her clit dragged over yours, the sounds falling from both of you quickly become filthy. You were sweating, grinding into her with passion as you moaned, taking her hands in yours and pushing them down into the bed, leaning more of your weight on her.
“ Ophelia! ” She cried, borderline overstimulated by the both of your slick dripping down onto her. She slammed her eyes shut, biting her lip as you ground down a little harder, your lips licking onto her neck, nipping before leaving open mouth kisses over her again and again. You settled your full weight on her and she whined out in pleasure, her jaw dropping as her hands wound into your hair.
“You feel so good, Larissa” you hissed “So perfect for me, my love,” you panted against her neck as she snapped her hips against yours, making your hands grip onto hers even harder at the unexpected movement. The moan then fell from her lips was filthy as her eyes nearly rolled back. The praise, the praise nearly sent her over the edge right then and there. Just a little more, she just needed a little more.
“Don’t stop,” she panted, her hydrangea blue eyes looking to you in desperation. “Please, don’t stop,” she almost begged, and you nodded, grinding down just a little more. You could see her struggling to keep her composure, to stay as strong as she always was, and you leaned down to whisper in her ear, your hot breath ghosting over her skin, another sensation sending her closer to madness.
“I want to see you undone, Larissa, show me how gorgeous you are.” You whispered, and she whimpered, nodding along as you moaned in her ear, nearly sending her over the edge. Her red nails clawed from your hair down your back, her leg wrapping over your hips as she pulled you closer, just as you had done before, pushing your upper body on top of her.
“Yes- yes- yes!” She chanted, your cunt grinding into hers, the sound of you so lost in pleasure only fueling her on.
“That- mmm, fuck Larissa,” you moaned, feeling her thighs begin to shake slightly. “ Oh , just like that darling,” you panted, your voice dropping and nearly breaking as your own hips lost their rhythm, senselessly searching for more, pressing closer. “Can you come, darling?” You asked her, the restraint in your voice making her want to break it. You were so close, so close she could tell, your body was shaking as you tried not to come without her. “ Please , I need you Larissa,” you breathed in her ear, falling to your elbows, putting more of your weight on her chest as you continued your endless search for more friction, more skin, more of her.
Her mind was in overdrive, her body on fire. She was sensitive after years on her own, and you, you were giving her everything you had. She felt another moan claw its way from her throat, her thighs tightening around your body. Her pale skin was flushed, glowing a rosy red, just like the flowers you bloomed for her. She didn’t know how much more she could take, but she wanted to drive you over the edge. She wanted to, needed to feel you come against her, her heart was pounding at the idea, her cunt aching for it.
She felt you dripping into her cunt, she could feel your legs shaking, your breath heaving, your clit brushing against hers, making the both of you moan obscenely. “Please, I need you,” you repeated, and the desperation in your voice pulled her out of her mind. “Please, please Larissa, come with me, please! ” You nearly sobbed, and she pulled you back by the hair, seeing your blown out pupils and your delirious face, you looked so well fucked, but more than that, you looked so well loved. You looked like you had let go, ripping down all your walls, just after the both of your pleasure.
“Come with me,” she whispered, pulling you down for a kiss.
You nearly sobbed into her mouth as she screamed in pleasure, her hips and legs snapping closed around yours, forcing you to stay close as the both of you bucked into one another, your bodies shaking and panting from pleasure.
You felt on the edge of blacking out as you felt her clit twitch against you, sending yours into another wave of pleasure as your cunt squeezed around nothing, your body so overwhelmed by love and pleasure you couldn’t tell where everything was coming from as you collapsed against her, your warm body going limp as she panted underneath you, still twitching slightly from the aftershocks.
It was perfect, it was bliss .
You hadn’t realized you fell asleep until you felt her hand in your hair, playing absentmindedly in your curls as her heart beat slow and steady under your cheek. You stiffened a bit before realizing where you were, embarrassment flushing your face. You had nearly passed out, it was ridiculous. Then again, you had never been touched like that, not the way she touched you.
“Oh- I’m sorry- I don’t mean to-“ you couldn’t even finish as she wrapped her arm around your waist, kissing your hair sweetly.
“Don’t, please, not after that.” She said softly, her voice still thick with lust, knowing you would understand. You didn’t have to apologize, not for the closeness you shared, nor the unguarded way you had fallen asleep on her chest after.
“I love you.” You said quietly, and you felt her releived smile against your head. It was a moment before she responded, as if she was basking in it, letting the words wash over her, from your lips piercing through the cold armor she had built up, soothing the ache in her chest she had come to know as normal.
“I love you too, Ophelia.” She whispered, the flush staining your face at the words making her stroke your cheek tenderly “Now rest, we have a little while until it’s time to eat.” She instructed gently, and the way you nodded and curled back into her, she could see the woman again, the woman with childlike joy and comfort, behind all the walls and masks you had built up, behind it all, there was just this, just you, and she loved every bit.
Chapter 29: Healing
Summary:
You have, Dinner, followed by Larissa’s first glimpse of another side of your work, something which she doesn’t know how well she can handle.
CONTENT WARNING: Family Issues, Medical Scenes, Death, Flashbacks, Watching someone die, Etc. Mentions of: Eating Disorders/not eating
Notes:
Hello loves! Please let me know what you think, I’m doing my best to get back to updating!
Chapter Text
Waking up next to Larissa seemed to be the best way to wake up at all.
You ran warmer than most, and it seemed the woman used that to her full advantage, holding onto you like the only bit of warmth in a blizzard. She always ran cold, and holding you seemed to be the perfect amount of warmth to keep her throughout the night.
She watched as you slept, your brows furrowing a bit every now and then, your hair falling over your face as your chest moved slowly, sleepily. She brushed a strand of hair away from your face, her heart squeezing when you hummed a bit, nuzzling closer to the woman. She knew how scared you were of touch, how hard it was for you, and to see how much you craved it when you let your guard down was heartbreaking.
You woke up to her humming your name, her hand in your hair as she softly called you from sleep. You stared up at her for a moment, your eyes meeting her beautiful blue ones, your face flushing slightly as you stared up at her for a moment.
“Oh- I- haha, I normally don’t sleep that deeply.” You chuckled, and the woman raised a brow at you from where you were laying… on her chest.
“Nothing to do with me, of course.” She teased, and you scoffed at her.
“Hardly, Miss Weems,” you breathed, pushing yourself up on your arms and crawling up her body, making her swallow. “No, not nothing,” you hummed, dropping your lips to brush against hers, making her breath hitch. You trailed down, kissing at her neck, making her swallow. You sucked a bit just below her ear, and she arched up into you a bit
-apparently that was a good spot-
before you dragged your teeth over it, making her shudder. “Everything.” You breathed, pulling away and rolling off her, leaving the woman glaring at you.
“You’re a tease.” She gritted, and you smirked.
“I’ve been told I’m a bit mad.” You hummed, rolling off the bed fully, where you stretched before looking at the window, it was dark now, not just evening.
“It- damn you. ” she breathed as she attempted to gain control of herself. You smirked, raising a teasing brow at her. “I told Wednesday and, Miss Eliana ,” she said the young woman’s name harshly, her lips twisting down slightly as if trying not to allow venom to slip from her lips, but not actually succeeding. “That we would have dinner in an hour, the both of them wish to speak to you, and I assumed you would want to clean yourself up first.” She smirked a bit at the end, and you smiled, fully. Not just your usual smirk, that was the full smile, the one you rarely used. The one you seemed to save for those rare moments you felt nothing but joy, and seeing you with it took her breath away.
“Thank you,” you said softly, taking her hand for a moment, making Larissa stare at yours. It never stopped surprising her. She may sleep with you, feel you come undone, feel herself melt in bliss from your touches, but the gentle touches, the ones not for pleasure, the ones where your ungloved hands settled over yours softly, those always took her breath away.
“Of course,” she said softly, and you stared at her for a moment. She swallowed as the intensity of your grey eyes only became more and more apparent. The grey shone, silver flecks standing out more, the fire was dying down, but it was enough to make your face light up in a way she didn’t know if she could handle.
“You’re- I- mmm,” you hummed, unable to find the words. You looked away, off to your desk, which was piled with paper. Larissa watched as you scratched something down, crossed a few things out, and wrote for a minute or so before folding it, placing it in a book you had on the desk.
One of your journals she realized, but it wasn’t the warm brown leather of your field journals, this was something different, something that peaked her interest as she watched you place it back on the desk before coming to her again. The curiosity in her burned to ask, but the way you didn’t quite meet her eyes for a moment, and the blush on your face told her to wait, for now.
“Would you forgive me if I asked you to meet me in the kitchens?” You asked softly, looking into her eyes for any sign of discomfort, anything that meant she might not like the idea, might feel put off or rejected. You didn’t want to mess up, not again.
Not again.
All you found was warm acceptance, and you let out a small sigh of relief, catching her attention.
“Are you nervous?” She rushed, coming to you and cupping your cheek. “I promise you, if she tries anything again she will be thrown from this school before she can even-“ The woman began, protective fire burning in her that made you feel warm all over again.
“Thank you,” you said softly, catching the woman off guard. Larissa stared at you, at the warmth, the tiredness in your eyes that seemed to always live there.
Part of her worried it would never leave. That she wouldn’t be enough to make it leave, and so you would.
“I have no idea what you’re thanking me for,” she chuckled incredulously, and you smiled, shaking your head and kissing her palm before turning to go wash yourself off in the shower.
You didn’t have time to wash out your curls, but you at least wanted to wash the mess that Larissa had made of you off.
You shuddered as the water washed over you, hot, but no where near as warming as her touch had been. You did your best, running your body over with soap, your mind flashing with memories and ideas you enjoyed far too much as you scrubbed your skin. Part of you wondered if she could have joined you in the shower, yet you knew full well that was a terrible idea, the last thing you wanted was to be late for Wednesday, again. Your mind sobered as you thought of the girl.
She wanted dinner.
With you and Larissa.
There was a high likelihood this would go poorly.
You tried to steady your mind as you stepped out of the shower, drying yourself off, letting down your hair, and picking out clothing. You looked over what you had for a moment, smiling a bit when your eyes fell on a dress.
It was an older one, entirely black with lace and fine tulle, it had been Wednesday’s favorite to steal when she was younger, the thing drowning her little body in a black mass, granted you thought that was part of the appeal for her. First you pulled on some underwear and stockings, you would also have to wear black unless you wanted them to show, which you certainly did not. You slipped it on, the lace covering your arms as a handkerchief lace and tulle skirt spilled below you, landing just below your knees, as the lace bell sleeves covered your arms until your gloves peaked out from under them.
It was very Wednesday, in fact she wore something similar to the rave’n last year, you believed.
You slipped on your gloves, your boots, and pinned part of your hair back as you looked at yourself in the mirror, taking a deep breath.
You could do this.
This wasn’t even difficult. You had practically been to war for fuck’s sake, dinner with your nice should not be this terrifying. Yet as you took one last look at yourself, you realized just how terrifying this was. You could survive a lot. You had survived terrible things as a child, horrific things as an adult attempting to help others, you had survived again and again, after everything, but you didn’t know if you would survive loosing her.
As soon as the tears started to come you swallowed them back, pushing down the feelings as best you could. You smiled at yourself in the mirror, willing the worry to leave your eyes.
You could do this.
No more tears, you could do this.
Your body was a bit sore, it was after Georgianna had originally changed you too, and you knew it would eventually right itself, so you ignored it. You ignored all of it.
You walked calmly to the staff kitchen, your heeled boots echoing on the floor quietly as you fiddled with your gloves, a soothing motion.
You could hear them talking inside, or at least Elianna was talking, apologizing profusely to Larissa, you assumed, and you could guess that Wednesday was staring daggers at her. You smirked a bit to yourself, knowing she had inherited the expression from you. She had inherited so many things from you, it was terrifying sometimes.
When you pushed the doors open the conversation stopped, and you raised a brow at the three of them. Eliana was more red faced in worry than you had ever seen her, Larissa looked like she was about to take the young woman’s head off, and Wednesday looked somewhere between amused and murderous. You supposed that was about par for the course.
Eliana reacted first, she knew not to run up to you, but she took a few quick steps closer, immediately apologizing all over again.
“I’m so sorry, I didn’t- I didn’t know that Georgianna had- I didn’t know it would hurt you- and I know you don’t do touch but I thought just quick for a joke it would be fine- and then you- and I- I’m sorry!” She rushed, and you sighed, smiling a bit, it was tired, it always was, but the warmth was there, and you could see her swallow down the tears she was attempting to hide. Her eyes scanned over you, searching for any sign of the injuries that she had resurfaced, and she only paused. “You… I know that dress.” She said softly, almost shocked, and you nodded a bit.
“Yes, you do.” You said gently, and she swallowed, coming to you and walking around you. The young woman laughed, staring in wonder at you. You almost looked like you used to, when the exhaustion in your eyes was made solely of your own burdens, no one else’s.
“For the record, I wore it because my niece used to like it.” You sighed, and Wednesday tilted her head slightly at the admission. She tended to forget how often you thought about her, even in the small things.
“I wore a similar dress to the Rave’n, I didn’t realize…” she muttered, and you smiled at the girl, internally proud of how she took after you. Larissa smiled a bit at how much you two seemed to share, before you nodded at Eliana.
“Yes, well, I doubt I’ll be doing any dancing today.” You joked, and she rolled her eyes before looking at you in a way that betrayed how much she missed the young woman that could have been her friend, the woman, before the medic.
“You never know.” She shrugged, and you shook your head, walking over to the stove. “You were a beautiful dancer, you know?” She said softly, and you tilted your head from side to side, entertaining the memories. You chuckled a bit, shaking your head, and the woman pressed on. “Do you still, dance, I mean?” She asked, and you truly laughed at that.
“I don’t go out if that’s what you’re asking.” You replied, and she scoffed, looking to your niece. “Does she dance when she works still?” She asked, and the raven haired girl looked at her coldly, but nodded. “And if I played something for you? Would you dance?” She asked, and you finally turned to look at her.
“Is there something particularly interesting about me dancing? It’s not as if I ever trained in it.” You reminded the younger woman, and she blushed, a little sheepishly.
“Well, it’s been a while since I’ve seen- and it’s helpful- I could use the reminder, I-“ she sighed, shaking whatever was bothering her off. “I pattern my dancing on stage after you, when you used to dance with us, help us feel human, confident again.” She admitted, and your eyes softened.
“Tomorrow, when I’m feeling better.” You said softly, and the young woman’s eyes lit up as Larissa and Wednesday looked between you two in slight confusion.
You only chuckled, removing the lid from the pot and smelling the stew. You knew Eliana had seen you make it many times, but it smelled almost perfect, making you smile to yourself.
She did well.
You took a wooden spoon, ladling a bit out to try, humming and nodding as you did. You grew a bit of rosemary, adding that and more salt before closing the lid again.
“Give that a moment and it will be perfect.” You nodded, and Eliana almost beamed. Her capacity for joy often surprised you, but somehow it still gave you some bit of hope.
“I did it correctly?” She asked, and you nodded.
“How long have the potatoes been in?” You asked her.
“A few hours.” She answered quickly, and you nodded again.
“Then yes, you did well.” You offered, and she beamed, making you shake your head. It always surprised you what they grabbed on to. “Let me just grab a few things from my classroom so I can work while we-“
“You promised me dinner.” Wednesday cut you off, and you sighed, looking up at her. You normally worked while you ate, if you ate, it hadn’t even crossed your mind that you would have to put the work away.
“Of course, I’ll-“
“I want a sit down, eating at a table dinner. You said you would.” She said firmly, and you sighed. The things you would do for your nice, heaven help you.
“Very well.” Was the response you gave as you ladled out the bowls, placing them around the staff kitchen table. You sat with Larissa next to you, Wednesday across from you, and Eliana across from Larissa, which you were praying didn’t end in a brawl.
You sat quietly, your hands clenching in their gloves in your lap as they began to eat.
Eliana groaned at the first bite, rolling her eyes back and practically moaning, making you roll your eyes in turn at her reaction. Wednesday smirked slightly at the taste, her face looking a little, dare you say, warmer. Even Larissa let out a surprised and very please hum, the sound making you smirk at her reaction, your eyes drifting over to how her red lips closed around the spoonful happily, her eyes fluttering closed for a brief moment as she tasted your recipe.
“This has to be another example of the nutrient craving, or you have far outmatched your sister’s ability over a cauldron.” She rasped, and you laughed, actually laughed. Loudly .
You cackled.
Eliana’s eyes went wide as she looked at you in shock, and Wednesday seemed slightly relieved by the wild sound. You brought a gloved hand to your mouth, holding it over your lips in an attempt to calm yourself, your shoulders still shaking as you did your very best to stop the wild laughter you were prone to.
“I’m no potions wiz, but I do make better soup, yes,” you chucked a bit, causing Elaina to roll her eyes, looking to the headmistress.
“If you think this is something, you should see what she can do in a lab, the woman could fight God if she wanted to.” She scoffed, and you rolled your eyes, a smirk coloring your face regardless. You were very, very good in a lab, that was just true, but you did enjoy it nonetheless.
“Good thing we don’t need to fight god then.” You shook your head, and Wednesday quirked a brow at you.
“Only normies?” She asked, and the tone of the room shifted, your face darkening as you looked at your niece. Eliana looked at you, worried. She knew who Wednesday was, vaguely, but you had always been incredibly strict about sharing information. She knew you had a niece, up until her arrival at Nevermore, she certainly didn’t know the girl’s name.
You grimaced, but looked the girl in the eye. She wanted information, and you knew how delicate the relationship between you was at the moment, you would give it to her. You simply had to decide how much.
“Predominantly normies, yes, however there have been outcasts that attempt to take advantage of their own kind.” You sighed, and Wednesday tilted her head, thinking for a moment.
“Is fighting outcasts harder?” She asked you, her tactical curiosity never ending. You hummed, tilting your head back and forth as you thought for a moment. It was a difficult question to answer, one that you would have to be careful answering given the company you were in weren’t exactly the level of clearance you were used to discussing these things with.
For a moment you missed Moxie.
Jenkins was in charge of combat training, however he had been doing it so long he no longer had much of a reaction to who he was killing, just how he would do it. One of the warmest men you knew could become the coldest at a moment’s notice, then again you supposed his classification helped with that. The perks of being a vampire you supposed, you knew you became… something else, when you fought. Something colder, something that could be cruel. Afterwards however, you always remembered them.
You didn’t feel, guilty, per se, however taking a life was, difficult. Moxie was better at it. The woman was a trained assassin, and gifted with inhuman strength and speed, she was horrifying in what often equated to battle, however unlike Jenkins, who was centuries old, she still had some feelings about it, she was more interested in a single combattant and how to get through them then Jenkins’ general approach.
Larissa’s throat clearing was the only thing that brought you back from the far away look on your face.
You looked up, confused at being pulled from your mind before you saw her concerned look. You took her hand under the table with your gloved one, squeezing gently and offering a small smile before turning back to you niece, who looked concerned at your spacing out. You hummed, clearing your throat and thinking back to the actual question.
“It’s, different, I suppose.” You began tentatively. “Normally one doesn’t know who they’re going to go up against until they’re right in front of you, and truly it’s the training of your opponent that matters, unless you’re talking about fighting class one’s or two’s.” You tilted your head to either side for a moment, evaluating. “It’s still a matter of training, and the classification system is widely useless considering what exactly Normies consider dangerous isn’t always dangerous,” you began to speak faster, your mind making connections as your eyes became interested, disecting even. “and the variants between even the same members of a classification can differ so widely that-“
“Doctor?” Eliana said carefully, and your eyes snapped up from where you had been apparently staring at a hole in the table, your eyes going a bit mad-looking as you spouted off information, considering various situations, evaluating possible conflicts, and dismissing them faster than you could speak as you discussed it. You hummed, snapping out of it and blinking a few times.
“Ah, forgive me, I forgot I do that.” You tried to chuckle, very aware you had scared the younger woman, and Larissa tilted her head, looking at you strangely as Wednesday bit back a smirk.
“But if you had to choose?” Wednesday said, and you sighed.
“It’s not that simple, the level of skill changes entirely on the individual.” You explained as carefully as you could. You were tiptoeing around a trigger, one of yours, certainly one of Elianna’s, and you could imagine Larissa’s reaction if you went full mad scientist.
You never intended to, but your greatest gift, your mind, could be a terrifying thing.
To both you and others.
“Well then what’s the worst fight you’ve ever been in?” Wednesday asked you, and you blanched. You actually went pale for a moment as you thought of your worst, the one you lost. It wasn’t a fair fight from the beginning, it was a trap, an ambush, one of your contacts, a supposed specialist turning out to be working for, him, not to mention you were traveling alone.
You never traveled alone, almost never, and that was the last time Jenkins and Georgianna had let you travel alone for years, up until her death.
You looked ill, your eyes going to a thousand yard stare as your face dropped, all the muscles going lax as your hands began to tremor ever so slightly.
There was no way you could have won, the woman you were supposed to be coming to for help with Flit had dosed you mid conversation, you were surrounded by 50 armed guards and a gun was to the child’s head before you could even move, there was no way to stop it, you told yourself, no way-
“Ophelia,” Larissa said softly next to you, and you blinked away the memory, still failing to make eye contact, but at least you plastered a smile on your lips, even if it didn’t meet your eyes.
Your eyes looked terrified.
“Oh, well, I’m not sure- I- the ones- I’ve always- oh I forgot to get us drinks!” You said quickly, standing and turning before anyone could even try to stop you.
You whirled around, tightening your gloves on your shaking hands as you found glasses from the cabinet, filling them with ice and water, your back firmly turned to the three at the table now watching you.
Once again, it was Eliana who spoke.
“I don’t know any that would make her respond like that, Miss Addams, but I would suggest not asking someone who has been through war and torture which experience was their worst.” She grimaced, looking down at her bowl of stew as Larissa looked at you in worry.
“It was just a strategic question…” Wednesday murmured, trying to explain herself, yet even she saw the fault of it as soon as you reacted.
Larissa went to stand, aiming to go after you, only to feel Eliana’s hand lock around her wrist at the table, making the woman whirl on her in anger. After everything she had said to upset you, she certainly had no right to-
“Please,” Eliana whispered, catching Larissa’s attention. She didn’t expect to see the younger woman on the verge of begging.
“I- I know I have done harm, and you don’t trust me, but please trust me when I say give her space, just for a moment?” She nearly begged under her breath. It was clear the girl was concerned about you, but there was something deeper there, a hint of a shared experience Larissa shuddered to think of.
The taller woman said nothing, her eyes icy as she pulled back, sitting back down and waiting, watching you fix glasses of water, standing at the sink for a moment and staring into somewhere she couldn’t see.
You looked down, squeezing your hands one more time and watching them finally still, finally the shaking stopped.
You returned to the table holding the waters in your hands and setting them down before getting the second pair of glasses, fully aware that you shouldn’t ask too much of your hands’ attempt at stillness, lest they fail to continue to be still very soon. You set the glasses down, smoothing your skirt and sitting yourself, pulling the mask back onto your face perfectly.
It was practiced, Larissa realized, something you had done many more times than she wanted to imagine. To be able to mask that quickly, you had to have done it many times before. Only she had never seen you use it with your niece.
“I enjoy sparring, actually, when it’s well matched, other than that there isn’t much fighting I like to remember.” You said plainly, and the three of them stared at you for a moment.
You sighed, looking from each of them to the other, evaluating.
This is what you were afraid of.
“I’m not going to tell you more.” You said eventually, and Wednesday shook her head.
“Of course you’re not.” She said flatly, yet it lacked the usual bite. She, at least somewhat, understood this.
“There are things that I would like to tell you, and I can’t, either because people will harm you for the information, or it would be highly illegal for me to inform you of.” You sighed, shaking your head at the girl across from you. “There are things that I don’t want to tell you, and won’t to protect you, or haven’t, in trying to protect you.” You continued, “and then there are things I refuse to tell you because they are things that no one, certainly not a member of my family, certainly not my niece, should know.” You sighed heavily, and the girl looked at you.
“I don’t understand why.” She said plainly, and Larissa snapped to her, completely bewildered by the girl’s seeming lack of compassion, only to find her actually thinking. You, for your part, only hummed, encouraging the girl. “I understand that you have to protect people, but if you say you trust me, and then there’s the things that only matter to you, if you’re not protecting anyone, I can handle it, no matter what it is. You are my- you are my family, I can talk to you, about anything, more than anyone else, I can talk to you about anything.” She landed on, before those big dark eyes, so like her mother, looked up at you in grief and distress. “So why can’t you talk to me?” She asked you. Larissa could have heard a pin drop. You stared at Wednesday, your eyes more intense than the girl had ever seen them.
You dropped the mask, at least partially, for a moment, and in that moment you looked exhausted. You looked like you had seen hell itself, you looked like you no longer wanted to walk this plane. Wednesday gasped, clenching her jaw just a bit as you brought the color back into your face, the light back into your eyes.
“There are things, about me, that even I am not strong enough to let you see, Wednesday.” You said softly, standing and walking around to the girl. She looked up at you from where she was sitting, looking to your hands as they hesitated to reach towards her.
You smiled sadly, folding them again, only to feel her own wrap around yours.
Your breath hitched as she took them, pulling herself up and into your arms. All the air left your body as you wrapped around your niece, holding her tight to you, as if you thought you would never be able to after the last time.
“I love you, Wednesday.” You said softly, ducking your head and speaking it into her hair. The girl just nodded, nuzzling deeper into your chest. You felt her body shake a bit, she was crying, you realized, and you wrapped your arms around her tighter.
What you would give to never have to let her go.
“I love you too.” She whispered, and you kissed the top of her hair gently. “I- when you go away, it feels like- I get scared you’re leaving me, and you won’t come back.” She almost hissed, squeezing you tighter as if you might leave in this very moment.
“Darling,” you whispered, kneeling down, putting you below the girl, looking up at her. You prayed to whatever was above that you could get through this. “I don’t leave because I don’t care- because I don’t love you, Wednesday.” You swallowed. “I leave because I want this world to be safer for you than it was for me.” You managed, your throat closing as you fought back tears. The girl stared at you for a moment, her eyes running with tears as well.
“But, but isn’t it already?” She asked you, and the smile you gave her was almost broken. You never wanted her to know how dangerous it was, how dangerous it could be.
“It is, but precariously so.” You answered, trying to keep up that smile.
“It’s, it’s for me too, isn’t it?” She asked you and you nodded, a single tear slipping through the eyes you were trying so hard to make happy. She surprised you when she reached for your face, wiping the tear away and leaning into you, resting her forehead on yours and closing her eyes.
“I see you die now. Don’t make it real.” Was all she said, leaning back and allowing you to get up. You smiled down at her, squeezing her hand.
“I will do my very best not to.” You promised, squeezing her hand before the girl nodded, looking from you to Larissa, to Eliana, narrowing her eyes.
“If you ever hurt my aunt again, I will hurt you in ways that make you wish you had never even met her.” The girl hissed, and your eyes went wide, grabbing her again and pulling her back.
“That is not a threat you make, Wednesday.” You warned, your voice hard again, and she sighed as she looked at you, staring sternly into your eyes. For a moment it felt like it would fall apart again, that this would unravel all you had just said, take away the truth you had just given her. Grey eyes met dark ones, both hard and steely, but this time, they both softened.
“Fine.” She sighed, yet it wasn’t the harsh hiss that she normally spat that word with, it was acceptance. You watched as the girl nodded, giving you one more hug before nodding towards Larissa, making you raise a brow in surprise at the respect she showed, followed by a deadly glare at Eliana. Now that you expected.
The girl left the room, and you immediately exhaled, bracing your hand on the counter you were standing by, the tips of your fingers at least, which weren’t burned.
Heaven help you, you had never been as scared as you were for Wednesday.
“She’s going to be the death of me.” You sighed, walking back to the table and sitting in your spot, staring at the empty seat she once occupied.
“She’s a lot like you, actually.” Eliana said, and both you and Larissa stared at the younger woman with wide eyes. She didn’t know what you were like when you were younger. She had seen one vision of you, sure, and she had seen you in the hospital, but you free, young and free, or as free as you could be after that, she was endlessly curious about.
“Really?” You asked, not exactly believing it yet.
“Well sure, I may remember your clubbing days, but I’m old enough to remember all your arguments with Georgie-“ the woman sighed, grimacing, having cut herself off at the words, realizing what she was implying. “I- I didn’t mean to compare, it- I doubt it will end that way, at least, well I hope it doesn’t.” She said, her voice trailing off at the end, getting softer as she struggled to deal with what she was saying.
You sighed, placing your gloved hands on the table, tapping a few times, almost, rhythmicly, allowing her to process something other than the words you knew got caught up in the younger woman’s head. It was music, Larissa realized. You were giving the singer music.
“Can you tell me something?” She asked you, and your hands stilled, your back going rigid. Larissa caught the change immediately, her arm landing on the back of your chair, opening her body to you and making it clear she was behind you, supporting you. She wasn’t quite sure how to interact with the both of you in the same room, but she certainly wasn’t going to leave you alone, or feeling it. “Did- did she suffer?” Eliana asked you, and Larissa could see all the color drain from your face.
You clenched your jaw, and the woman watched as you, who could handle anything, looked broken like she had only ever seen you as a child, or for Wednesday.
“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have-“ Elianna rushed, and you shook your head, your voice rough and tight when you spoke.
“She was your caretaker too, you d- you deserve to know, she meant- she meant, to you too.” You tried, the words not quite right. Elianna watched as you formed the words, the images of that day flashing behind your shell-shocked eyes. You sucked in a shaky breath, looking down at your hands, trying to stop the shaking there. “N-no.” You stuttered, and Larissa realized what you were saying.
You were remembering.
“You were there?” She asked you, her soft British cadence reminding you so much of her aunt in that moment you nearly lost your ability to breathe fully.
“Fuck,” you hissed, standing and pulling your hands back, putting distance between you and the other two women.
“Doc?” Eliana asked, looking at you, and you shook your head, swallowing down the emotions. You could feel your hands changing under your gloves. They always did, when you tried to talk about her, when you tried to talk about that day. You rubbed your hands painfully, trying to calm yourself and get your blood circulating to stave off the reaction.
“I- I was, yes.” You said quietly, and Larissa stood, her eyes wide, almost afraid, she didn’t know if she wanted to know. She took a step closer to you, and you shook your head, wrapping your arms around yourself.
“Pl-please don’t come any closer.” You whispered, ashamed, unable to look the woman you loved in the eye as your gaze hardened on the floor. Anywhere but her, anywhere but those blue eyes, the ones you now knew they shared. “I- I can handle it, talking about it, but I can’t handle touch and speaking about, that, at the same time.” You managed, your voice shaking. Larissa stilled, looking at you, her hands open, but tense, unsure what to do. Eliana looked up at her, watching her struggle.
“Loving her is hard.” The younger woman said quietly, and Larissa shook her head.
“No, it’s not.” She said softly, and you gasped, digging your hands tighter into yourself as you felt another wave of strong emotion crash over you.
“Maybe not to you, but there are days, moments when it’s hard. She’ll be the first to admit it, and this, not being able to get close to her when you know how badly she wants it, this is part of how hard it can be.” Eliana said, watching the pale woman’s reaction to you visibly struggling to keep yourself in check.
You were muttering something to yourself, your fingers twitching while you distracted your mind, with anything you could.
“There, I was there,” you whispered quickly, the sense of madness in you clearer than Larissa had ever seen it. She knew the legends, the story of a mad doctor, but seeing you struggle and break like this, she had never expected it to be for her aunt. “Yes, and she was, and I was there- she didn’t- I made- she didn’t suffer- it was quick- quick, quick…” you muttered off, turning around and going to the counter, staring down at it for a moment, your Q’s clicking quickly as you muttered the word, the sounds getting quieter and quieter until they stopped. “Quick, quick, quick, quick, quick…”
It all stopped.
You took a breath, inhaled deeply, let the oxygen flood through your nose, down your throat, filling up your lungs and pumping blood throughout your body.
Your fingers weren’t painful and numb anymore, just a slight tingle along with a familiar ache. You opened your eyes, not having remembered closing them, and turned back around, facing the two women in the room with you. Eliana was looking at you sadly, witnessing your pain and feeling it mix with hers.
Larissa, however, Larissa’s chest was heaving, her hands tense as she stared at you with tears lining her eyes, her face hard as she desperately tried to hold them back.
“Oh, oh love.” You whispered softly, shaking your head. “It- I’m sorry, you shouldn’t see that, but I’m back now.” You swallowed, the fear in your body rising to your throat, slightly strangling your words. Larissa just stared at you, and you felt your heart pound. She asked you a question, that is how this started, a question, what did she ask you?
Oh.
“Yes, I was there.” You said, looking down to the floor, your eyes glazing over the tiles of the kitchen. “I was with her when she died, or, right after, it’s hard to- I don’t know how long it- I don’t remember much of that day, but no, she did not suffer.” You swallowed, closing your eyes for a moment before looking up at both women.
“I’m sorry.” You whispered. You didn’t have the strength to apologize for what you needed to apologize for, not yet.
“I’m sorry that you saw that, it- there are certain points in my past that I can’t-“ your eyes snapped up to Larissa as she took a step closer, and you swallowed. If she was angry, she had every right to be, but you didn’t know if you could handle her being angry over this. “I know it’s- disturbing when I lose myself for a moment-“ you tried, taking a halting step back as she walked towards you, her eyes hard. You felt panic start to seep through your body. “It doesn’t happen often, and it’s very difficult to trigger- I swear, I didn’t mean to-“ she was getting closer, and she still wasn’t speaking, you stepped back further, backing away in panic until your back hit the counter causing your breath to stutter. “It’s under control, you’ve seen me, I don’t do that- almost ever it’s not-“ she was getting even closer, and tears started to prick at your eyes, if she yelled, if she berated you, you didn’t think you could handle it. “Larissa, please I-“ she was almost on you now. “I’m sorry- I know it’s disturbing- I didn’t do it on purpose- please -“ You slammed your eyes shut, bracing your hands on the counter, digging into your burned palms to keep your instincts at bay- if she did something, you could take it. You deserved it, and you could take it.
“May I hold you?” She breathed, her voice as gentle as her hands were the first time she caressed your scarred skin. You heard the words, but didn’t process them, only flinching at a voice so close to you at first. Yet she had stopped, inches from you, not pushing forward, not backing away, just there, there if you wanted or needed her. You opened your eyes, finding her standing there, looking down at you with more concern than you had potentially ever seen on her.
Your head swam, the worry, the fear, the memories and screaming in your mind being diluted by those beautiful blue eyes, and then they began to fade away. You panted slightly, your chest heaving up and down as you looked at her, everything else clearing from your mind like mist as her eyes shone like the stars coming through it, cutting through the night fog to open up the clear sky. Your lips parted slightly, somewhere between breathlessness and shock as you stared at her, mesmerized. Your head swam, she had asked you a question, just what was it? You couldn’t remember, all you knew was that she was staring at you, and instead of lost in your mind, it was her eyes you were lost in.
“W-what?” You whispered, stumbling intelligently over your words, out of character for you.
“Would you like to be- may I hold you, Ophelia?” She asked gently, her own hands twitching at her sides, your eyes shot to them, confused, your brows furrowing. Why would she want to hold you?
“Really?” You asked quietly, and a tear slipped down her cheek at your shock as she nodded. You were so surprised, and it broke her heart for you.
You didn’t understand. You were unstable, you were a mess, you were mad as a hatter, you were nodding- you were nodding.
And her arms were around you.
You turned into her chest almost on instinct, breathing deeply. She smelled like fine perfume, classic, elegant, yet a hint of musk to it. Then there was a scent that was so uniquely her, and that, that you wanted, needed more of, you closed your eyes, nuzzling into her chest and just breathing her in. Her hands stroked patterns on your back, and you nearly collapsed into her, as calm as you could be with everything.
Eventually the shaking stopped, you forgot where you were, what was going on, but you had her, and that’s what you needed. You needed her .
You didn’t know how long you were there. You knew when you opened your eyes again you were no longer shaking, and you felt, dare you say safe.
“Hmm?” You hummed, confused, looking around, and finding Eliana sitting at the table, looking at her fellow shifter absolutely mesmerized, and you in concern. “What- oh .” You breathed, realizing what had happened. You looked up at Larissa, almost seeming small in the post-panic haze. “Thank you.” You said softly, taking your hands from where they were behind you to take one of hers, smoothing your gloved thumb over the back of her hand, watching yourself make the small motion, tears coming to your eyes at the ease you felt doing it.
You may not be able to take your gloves off at the moment, but you could have this, and this meant the world to you.
“Are you alright?” She asked you, and you hummed, nodding.
“I- I’m sorry, that hasn’t happened in a while, I didn’t think that it still…” you trailed off, sighing as you pulled away, running a hand over your face and shaking your head. “That it still happened.” You breathed, examining your gloved hands, stretching your fingers this way and that.
“Ophelia,” she worried, and you looked to her, nodding surely despite your worrying hands. She just wanted you to be alright.
“I’m alright, I promise.” You said softly, and she tilted her head up, looking down on you. She was evaluating you, you realized, making sure. She wasn’t sure if she believed you yet. You swallowed down the worry that she never would, that you didn’t even know if you believed yourself.
Eliana cleared her throat, clueing the both of you into her presence, and you nodded to her, remembering what you were here for.
“Yes, I should, I should go work on a treatment plan for you, I know the structure, but I need to modify it, and then the dosage, and… Just, meet me in the greenhouse, in about an hour, I should have most of it done by then, the parts I can do on my own, at least.” You sighed, running through equations and timeframes in your mind.
Larissa looked down at you mildly outraged, you were out of your mind if you thought she would let you keep working after that, after all that had happened today!
“Working? You barely just healed, and, and this, Ophelia, please,” Larissa began, although her tone sounded less like asking and more like the woman would pick you up and put you to bed herself if you disagreed.
You closed your eyes for a moment, knowing that if you looked at her you may very well lose all integrity. You knew the importance, you knew your job, your real job.
You had to take care of them, that was the first obligation, the thing that had to come first above all else. Even you.
“She needs this,” you breathed, almost reminding yourself. “She needs this, please,” you whispered tiredly. “She needs this, and working, working helps.” You swallowed. She raised her brows at you, her lips pressing into a thin line. “It helps,” You tried again, taking the chance and opening your eyes. The fierce protection in her eyes blew you away, your breath being taken from your body, but somehow so softly. It was as if the woman had plucked a gossamer veil away from your face, showing you something you had never seen before.
“It’s not a good idea.” She said tersely, her need for control, to keep you safe, to keep you close, gripping her with no expectations of letting up. She just wanted- she needed to keep you safe.
“It’s necessary.” You said, looking up at her. Your eyes were honest, tired, as always, but honest. You didn’t look dead on your feet, you looked resolute, and the woman hated your stubbornness almost as much as she loved it.
You expected her to storm off, to yell at you, angry you would work instead of staying with her, instead of focusing on her. Others had, it wouldn’t be surprising if-
she kissed you quickly, sweetly, and so unexpectedly that you nearly toppled backwards in surprise. You gasped against her and she pulled back, a smile tugging at the corners of her lips at having surprised you.
You looked up at her, grey eyes full of surprise and, joy .
That was joy, she realized. It was a quiet joy, but it was there nonetheless.
“Je t’aime, (I love you)” you whispered quietly, leaving her furrowing her brows at you for a moment, she knew French, yet she didn’t know why you chose it until she saw your lips quirk slightly, you were struggling with this.
She knew it was hard for you to say, so by hell did you show it, but the words, the words were difficult. She smiled softly, kindly, at your effort, leaning down and allowing her lips to come just next to your ear, her breath tickling the side of your face as she hummed against your wild hair.
“Je t’aime aussi, mon fluer. (I love you too, my flower)” She whispered, and the shiver you gave had her smiling, just a bit. She could see the flush that spread across your face, and she felt herself swallow, suddenly realizing she had initially wanted to comfort you, but somehow ended up flirting with you after you just had what she could only assume was a flashback, and now you were flushing against her, and shivering, and heaven help her she wanted to kiss you.
“You can, you know.” You hummed, looking up at her from where she was staring at your lips.
“What?” She breathed, unsure. Surely you didn’t mean-
“You can kiss me, I was startled, yes, but you- I- Just, you can kiss me, Larissa, it wasn’t wrong to, and you can again if you’d like to.” You hummed, glancing from her lips to her eyes happily, expectantly.
She had done it.
You weren’t scared, not in this moment. You didn’t feel the lingering fear you always did, that any kiss would be the last one, that if you had to do something, she wouldn’t be there when you came back. That she would be there alone if you didn’t come back. You had forgotten it, just for a moment. It would come back, but for now you could live in the moment, just for a second.
She leaned down, kissing you softly, gently before pulling away, glancing at Elianna, causing you to remember reality, looking back at the young woman in surprise. She was looking anywhere else, and you chuckled a bit, turning to face her as you drew Larissa’s arms around you, pressing your back into her front, relaxing into her, shocking both women.
“Shocked?” You asked, smirking slightly at Eliana, who was currently staring a hole into the table.
“By kissing, hardly. By you kissing someone, well yes.” She admitted, and you could feel Larissa stiffen behind you. “I never, I’ve considered you a lot of things, Ophelia, I’ve thought of you as a lot of things. I’ve never thought of you in love.” She smiled, looking to you both.
This time you blushed, your hands loosening over Larissa’s, who took the opportunity to flip them, holding her against you. It startled you, and you jumped a bit, but relaxed into her almost right away.
“I suppose not.” Was all you managed to say, running your gloved fingers over Larissa’s hands a few times before pulling away, about to head to the door. “It’s not- I’ll be working on medical things Larissa, you may not want to see what I’m doing.” You said softly, and she set her jaw, worry in her mind before she nodded.
She didn’t want to leave, but she knew what you had to do, what seeing, those things, would make her feel. She didn’t want to see you like that, like she saw him .
“I’ll see you after.” Is all she said, and you raised a brow. It would seem to be you were expected in her room then, not that you minded. You looked over her for a moment, evaluating. It was, peaceful. You knew you were in for a long night, but, perhaps this time the end of it wouldn’t feel so, alone. You watched the woman leave the room, the familiar squeeze of fear in your chest returning, but somehow it was a touch less strong this time, somehow slightly less crippling. The part of you that wanted to scream out, to tell her to wait, to never leave the room, to never leave your eyeline, to never make you unsure of where she was, if she was alright.
You could watch her walk away, you could watch her beautiful hand clasp the door, watch the way she glanced at you one last time and be alright. You could do this. You could find a way for this to work. The door shut again and you sighed, running a hand through your hair.
“You alright?” came Eliana’s smooth, and surprisingly low, voice. You looked at her, shaking your head.
“Yes, yes of course.” You breathed, shaking your curls out, and she shook her head at you.
“You’re shit at lying.” She said, and you glared at her.
“I am not having this conversation with you while sober.” You responded, and she scoffed.
“Go on then, go sort yourself out, I’ll be in when you need me… should I get any equipment from Sugar?” She asked, and you shook your head.
“No, no I have things, a smaller kit, enough to do this, I’ll be in…” you trailed off, your mind already running equations.
“The greenhouse, yes.” She said, and you nodded, heading towards the door.
“Eat your soup!” You called over your shoulder, and you heard her groan as you made your way to the greenhouse. You stopped by your room, grabbing your go bag, as well as a trunk full of chemistry equipment to aid you.
You set up in the greenhouse fairly easily, lighting up a pipe as you began to work, growing, cutting, sectioning, processing. There were complex terms to explain what you were doing, but at this point, this was a dance your hands knew well. This was the easiest thing to do, to grow plants, to section out the parts you needed, grind them down or extract them. You could make opioids faster than a lab could generate synthetics, just as you could create nearly anything in the natural world.
It was like music, orchestration even. You bloomed plants at different concentrations, different chemical makeups to produce exactly what you needed. You re-lit your pipe with a Bunsen burner, puffed smoke to calm your mind as you worked. You turned on the speakers you had in the greenhouse, playing songs as you worked, calm, focused, and simply. It was incredibly complex, yes, but to you that made everything simple. Music played as you worked, and the world fell away, simply becoming plants and chemical compositions. Controllable factors, things you understood. The music began to blare, and you began to smile as you danced, both with your body and your art.
…
Larissa heard a door slam down the hall and felt her back go rigid. She knew, logically, that you wouldn’t be finished yet. It wasn’t time. It had only been an hour, and yet she found herself waiting for you, her red nails tapping at the arm of the chair she was sitting on impatiently. She should wait, she knew that. You had agreed that you would come, of course you would come, she didn’t have to wonder, you just would.
She knew what you were doing, you weren’t even far, for Christ’s sake. You were just in the greenhouse, working on a treatment, for Elianna, a medical treatment.
She remembered the medical treatments she was subjected to as a child. She remembered the cold feelings and shivering, endless shivering, for hours on end while she sweat, wrapped up in blankets somewhere between burning and freezing to death.
There was another sound, someone beginning to move down the hallway and before she knew it she was on her feet, ripping the door open only to find herself face to face with Elianna, who stared at her in surprise as she was about halfway down the hallway. Elianna glanced further down, where she was headed, to Larissa, who looked at her with all the nervous determination of a woman on the verge of throwing-
She looked like Georgianna used to look, that one face she made. That one face when she knew things were going to get messy, be painful, but that she could do it. More often than not that she and you could do it.
Eliana’s eyes went wide, staring at the much taller woman for a moment. She knew that kind of determination, and she had seen Larissa’s reactions to medical instruments before, at any sign of experimentation. She could guess the thoughts going through the other shifter’s mind. They were the same ones that often went through hers.
The same ones that used to leave her shaking in Georgianna’s arms after you had performed medical exams on her. She remembered how you would cry at night after that. Every time you scared her, triggered her, if she passed by your room she would hear you sobbing after, horrified that you had scared her, scared any of them.
“Um, you’re not going to like it.” She started, her eyes meeting the ice blue ones above her, which softened just a bit. ‘She’ll draw blood, and normally when she’s working she’s in her head, not the greatest at conversation, she’ll look at me, and sometimes it does look like… it can look similar to the way the men used to look at me, the evaluation . And yes, that is hard, it can be… hard. ” She swallowed, finding the words. “But it is still her. ” She explained, cutting the headmistress off before she could speak again. “It is still Ophelia, looking at me, and yes, she is trying to figure me out, like a puzzle, but she does it to help me, to help us.” She explained, and Larissa fell silent, memories of what to be looked at like that felt like clashing with the way you looked at her, with how she felt when you looked at her. “Would you like to see her?” Elianna asked, pulling Larissa out of her head.
She stared at the smaller woman for a moment, taking in the invitation. It surprised her, honestly. She was hesitant to allow her alone with you after… everything. It was clear she never meant to harm you, but still, letting her alone with you…
Her need to be with you was stronger than the fear of what you were doing.
“Yes.” She answered before she could even continue thinking. She steeled herself, nodding and striding confidently towards the greenhouse, completely ignoring the worry rising in her throat. Elianna raced after her long legs, supplying explanation after explanation. They had just exited the school’s doors when Larissa heard it, a quiet thumping from the greenhouse, bass, she realized, and she raised her brows as Elianna sighed.
“There’s also that.” The younger woman said, and Larissa furrowed her brows.
“Is that…”
“She plays music, she’ll turn it down when we go in, but sometimes its…”
“Clubbing music?” Larissa asked, amused and also mildly concerned. Elianna laughed, a smirk finding its way onto her face.
“Have you ever seen her dance?” She asked, and Larissa once again furrowed her brows.
“While she’s working?” She asked, and the younger woman’s smirk just grew wider. She led the way to the greenhouse without further explanation, but paused before opening the door, giggling a bit as she looked through the windows, calling Larissa to do the same.
“Look!” She hissed in a whisper, and the taller woman shot her an admonishing look before she peered into the window, her eyes widening and heart skipping a beat at what she saw.
You certain;y were dancing, and the music made sense as she saw just how suggestively you moved, even with vials and needles in your hands.
Your hips rolled to the side as you bent backwards, flipping your hair over your shoulder as you reached behind yourself, grabbing a vial of something and moving it to your main work station, where you immediately took a syringe and began extracting whatever was in it, mixing it into a glass beaker, flicking your glasses down onto your nose and staring down it at some measurement all while you continued to mouth the words.
Larissa swallowed as your hips began to grind in the air, you braced your arms on the table and panted breaths along with the song, arching your back in time to what Larissa vaguely recognized as “She Wolf.” She felt her cheeks heat up as you mouthed the words, your hands going from thing to thing as your body continued to move.
‘I’ve been devoting myself to you Monday to Monday and Friday to Friday’
As you leaned over the table, drawing your wickedly dark fingertips over your work in a borderline obsessive way, but heaven help her did she want you to look at her like that.
‘Not getting enough retribution or decent incentive to keep me at it’
As you mixed something, placing it down before winding your hips and head, tossing your hair as you spun around, laying backwards over the table, abandoning your work for a moment of fun, it seemed.
‘I’m starting to feel just a little abused like a coffee machine in an office’
And you actually moaned , you mimicked the sound on the song, arching your back as you whipped yourself up, going back to your work. Your hips swung with the beat, your feet moving slightly to accompany them. Larissa felt her face flush and her jaw slacken slightly, her eyes widening a bit. Yes, the two of you had been… together , before, however she was just now realizing exactly how flexible you may be, and how much she would like to-
“You broke her!” Rang out from Eliana next to her as the younger woman opened the doors, and your eyes snapped up, your brows raising as you realized the both of them were there. You didn’t adjust from how you were looking at your work, just shifting your gaze, and suddenly Larissa realized just how intense those grey eyes could be.
She swallowed, unsure, and uncomfortably turned on, only to hear the music turn down as your gaze softened, a slight smile coming onto your lips.
“Apologies, Miss Weems, I have a habit of getting lost in my work.” You smiled a bit wider, and she realized you were teasing her. She went even redder, glaring at you as she strode into the room, pausing only when she got close enough to the table to realize there were needles on it, and syringes, and vials of things, plants scattered, an otoscope, a small light, these were things to examine someone, not just treat them, these were things she had experience with, things she shuddered to remember, things that she didn’t know if she could-
“Can you play something slower, I’m fine with slutty, but relaxing slutty please.” Eliana said, hopping up on the table in between you both. You turned your attention to the girl, seemingly incredibly focused. It threw Larissa off a bit, but she sat off to the side, giving her a profile view of both you and Elianna. You changed the music, slipping your glasses and gloves back on as you began to work.
“Alright, so usual procedure-”
“Do you have to go through this every time?” Elianna rolled her eyes and you nodded, continuing.
“Yes.” You said simply before going on, leaving Larissa furrowing her brows for a moment. “I’ll tell you what I’m about to do before I do anything, and I will talk you through things as I do them, if at any point you start to feel uncomfortable or begin to be triggered then please stop me, I’ll do my best to monitor you, however you know what you’re feeling far better than I do, alright?” You asked calmly. You were calm, clear, it was somewhat clinical but in the most comforting way Larissa could imagine. Serene, that was the word, it was serene.
“You say this as if you haven’t examined me hundreds of times.” The younger shifter said, and you scoffed, shifting your eyes to her and making her realize exactly how serious you were.
“Yes, and if I, or anyone else stops saying it, you either report me to jenkins or report them to me.” You smiled almost threateningly, tilting your head a bit, and both women were confronted by a flash of the mad scientist. You caught it quickly, shaking your head and blinking a few times before the smile softened and your eyes warmed.
“Apologies,” You breathed, adjusting your glasses before going over your tools one more time, shaking off what had come over you.
“I forget how protective you are.” Elianna swallowed, and you sighed, attempting a smile.
“I have to be, sometimes it comes out when it isn’t needed though,” You grimaced, and she half smiled.
“You’re protective over a former hooker.” She reminded you, and you rolled your eyes.
“Like that means anything to me of all people.” You scoffed, and she snorted, Larissa lost in the banter between the two of you. “Starting with nervous system responses, alright? So eyes first, then ears, then reflexes, and so on.” You began, and Elianna nodded. Larissa looked between you two, Elianna was right, you did look colder, but you were still… you.
She watched as your eyes scanned over the young woman, taking the otoscope you had and beginning with checking the younger woman’s pupillary response, shining the light in her eyes as you evaluated how her nervous system was reacting to things.
“Did you sleep?” You asked, your voice flat. The woman hummed, her hands fidgeting slightly as you begun truly evaluating her. She was used to you, you had done this countless times when she was younger, but it was still unnerving, she imagined it always would be.
“Yes, a few hours.” She replied, and you hummed, switching to the other eye.
“You need more than that, at least nine a night while you’re healing.” You instructed, and she looked at you, throwing off what you were looking for. You shot her an unnamused look, but continued, asking her to follow the light with her eyes.
“Nine!” She shot, and you scoffed.
“You’re healing, eleven is preferable.” You countered, and her horror at the idea made you chuckle. You continued working on her, Larissa watching, testing her hearing before you took out a small rubber mallet and a pin, placing them down on the table next to Elianna. At the sight of the pin Larissa flinched, and your eyes went to her for a moment.
“You don’t have to-“
“I can do this.” She cut you off, and you raised your brows for a moment, taking her in. She really was so much like her aunt. You felt the realization sink into your chest, it was heavy, hard to bear in the most wonderful way. You swallowed, your eyes shining for a moment before you flicked your fingers to the phone you had playing music, the song changing to a newer one as you looked back to Elianna as the music began to echo throughout the room.
‘Look at the stars, look how they shine for you’
Rang through the room, and Elianna smiled.
“You know G said you did that when you were younger too.” She said, but you didn’t speak, your eyes focusing as you tested her reflexes, noting down that they were delayed.
‘And everything you do, they were all yellow’
The song went on, and Elianna smiled at Larissa softly.
“She’s talking to you.” She said, and the woman furrowed her brows as you ducked your head, focusing as you took the pin, pricking Elianna, who did jump, but not quick enough, making you furrow your brows in frustration. You were focused, very focused, and Elianna sighed in frustration.
She knew you did this, that you would occasionally just stop speaking. Your voice, a voice while people were doing medical things to someone, could be upsetting to some of those you had examined, so you would communicate through music. You could monitor her heart rate better, focus on her every minute reaction, if you weren’t holding a conversation, and you were aware just how scary that could be as well, making the music all the more important. Elianna smiled sadly at seeing your old habits again, the kindest things you did often had the saddest reasons. You were horrified of scaring them.
“What?” Larissa asked her, swallowing at the sight of you pricking the younger woman.
“She’s having trouble telling you what it means to her that you’re here, so she changes the music, she used to do it with G, she still does with Jenkins.” She smiled sadly, and you buried your head in your work, tapping your gloved fingers twice on the inside of her elbow, prompting the younger woman to give it to you to draw blood.
You switched your gloves, changing to very thick sterile ones, taking an alcohol swab and cleaning the area on Elianna’s arm before you slid in the needle, connecting the tube it led to with a vial, drawing blood samples. Larissa shook as she watched you, the cold precision you were currently using to go about your work.
“Can she not…” she trailed off, you could hear them, couldn’t you? You were still there?
“I can talk.” You responded calmly, and the woman jumped. You cringed. “I just know what I look like doing this, what I- what I look like to you.” You swallowed, closing your eyes for a moment before you switched vials, going about your work.
“ Oh ” Larissa breathed, and Elianna looked at her sadly.
“She’s also not speaking because she knows how intense her full medical attention is, she’s trying not to add to it, to let me focus on the music rather that whatever half emotion, half medical gibberish would come out of her mouth.” She added, and Larissa’s eyes went to you, realizing just how far you went for them, how much you had altered yourself to make others more comfortable around you. The gloves, the clothes, the way you spoke were for everyone, but how much of yourself you could mute, try to hide, just to make the reality a little less scary for those you cared for.
The song had continued, the chorus now coming as you placed the two vials on the table, wiping away the blood from Elianna’s arm and placing a plaster over it, holding it a moment to encourage the bleeding to stop.
‘Your skin, oh yeah your skin and bones, Turn into something beautiful, And you know, you know I love you so’
It played, and her eyes softened at the words, truly listening to them as you worked.
‘You know I love you so’
It repeated, and she watched as your lips mouthed along with it, her heart breaking just a bit for you.
“Alright?” You said softly, and Elianna nodded, causing you to let go of her arm. You went to another table, looking at the blood under a microscope as the song changed, causing you to lift your head to Elianna, who was holding the phone. Fleetwood Mac’s Rhiannon started playing and you smiled a bit.
“Scary part’s over for now, alright?” You said to the both of them, taking the tone shift as your cue to speak again. They both seemed to relax when you weren’t directly working on Elianna, something that at least gave you some relief.
“Thanks.” Elianna breathed, and you shook your head, chuckling.
“You act as if I would ever not.” You scoffed, and she hummed.
“Have you continued? Your research, I mean?” She asked you, and you glanced up, your eyes flickering between Elianna and Larissa, who’s saddened eyes nearly caused you to break.
You really loved her.
You shook your head, refocusing on the question.
“I haven’t since Georgianna…” you lost the thought for a moment, but recovered quickly. “No, I wouldn’t ask any of the residents to allow me to work on them, I just do intakes and diagnostics, treatment plans, but I don’t subject them to actual research.” You sighed, and Elianna nodded.
“Could you? What were you working on when, when she died?” She girl asked, and you sighed, looking up from the microscope tiredly.
“I finished mapping her genome, we were working on figuring out the rate of mutation depending on the complexity of the goal, figuring out why she was so, different.” You sighed. You grimaced, shaking your head. “I could have done it too, you know.” You tensed your jaw slightly. “I was so close, I needed, I needed time, I never draw enough blood for any of you to actually feel it, and what we were doing, that’s stress tests, so that’s complicated, difficult, it’s- it’s hard on someone, we pushed her, hard, gave her a nosebleed quite a few times, not to mention the headaches.” You began, a fire beginning to light behind your eyes, this was your passion, the truest use of your mind and your ability, “I was working on isolating what happens in that moment, exactly what enables her to push so much farther! It was- god you can’t imagine, that woman could hold a full corporeal in her sleep! She had altered her default to that, as opposed to her natural state, it was incredible, it shouldn’t have been possible! Power like that, ability like that, the ability to transform not just yourself, but others, the things she used it for! The things it could be used for! Healers are one thing, but to alter the genetic fabric of another person, to possess that ability, it was-“
“Phil.” Elianna said roughly, and your eyes, so full of ideas and excitement, snapped up, a wild smile on your face at all the possible ideas. A mad smile. You looked up and felt your excitement shatter. Elianna looked, highly unnerved, at best, and Larissa, Larissa looked scared. You hadn’t caught it this time.
This.
This is why you didn’t speak when you did these things. You snapped your mouth shut, your eyes going down to the table as your ears rang in shame. You stood, going to the table and picking up your pipe, relighting it and taking a deep, deep drag of it and letting it sit in your lungs, the smoke making your head ease, floating almost as you closed your eyes, taking it in. You breathed out through your nose before shaking your head.
“I- I’m sorry.” You whispered quietly, your eyes still closed as your brows furrowed in frustration. “I- it’s- i forget what I look like, sometimes, what it would look like.” You swallowed. “I of all people should know, and still I don’t-“ you cut yourself off, shaking your head again, “I’m sorry.” Was all you said, and both women furrowed their brows in concern.
You had startled them, yes, Larissa especially. She was shaking slightly as she stood, seeing you like that was, it was hard. She knew that some called you a mad scientist, it was written all over your face, how excited you got followed by the horror at scaring them.
Elianna watched quietly as the woman stood, making her way to the table where you stood, your eyes not leaving the desk, staring daggers into it. She was scared of this, yes, of experimentation, of anything medical really, but she wasn’t scared of you. She had never been scared of you, and she couldn’t have you thinking that. Even if her heart pounded when she saw you standing over a desk filled with needles, even if her breath stuttered when your eyes got just a touch too intense. Even if you spouting off research made her want to run, she wouldn’t.
No.
This, this she would get through. This she would overcome, if only so you would never look as full of self-hatred as you did now. She stood behind where you braced your arms on the desk, her own hands trembling slightly as they reached for you, settling on your forearms as she stood behind you. Your breath hitched, and you dropped your head, your body trembling slightly.
“I- I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to scare-“ she hushed your shaky words, her fingers running soothing patterns over your scars, making the trembling give way to stuttering breaths, a slight hitch to your body every few, and she realized you were crying. She pulled your body up, forcing you to lean back against her as she wrapped her arms around you, leaning down slightly to speak softly in your ear.
She could do this, she reminded herself.
She could do this.
“Show me what you’re doing.” She said softly, and you shook your head slightly.
“I don’t- if this is difficult for you to watch you shouldn’t-“ you tried, your voice cracking every few words. Yet you didn’t push her away. Elianna gaped at the display, yet neither of you paid her any mind as Larissa held you.
“Show me the good.” She whispered softly, just above your ear, and you fought to allow yourself to stay in her arms. It was a few moments before you spoke, just feeling her there, she was still there.
“Mmm, this,” you pointed to the blood sample. “Can help me determine the state of her mutation exhaustion.” You explained, and the woman nodded. “I’ll add a synthetic hormone to trigger the reaction, it- it replicates-“ you cut yourself off as you caught yourself going back into the technical speak, yet she encouraged you.
“I haven’t gone yet, I’ll, I’ll stop you if I must, alright?” She hummed, and you felt so small in her arms.
“Promise?” You asked her softly, and Larissa’s heart broke for how terrified you were of scaring them, of scaring her. You knew what it was like, she realized. In fact you had likely once had the same reactions, only she was terrified to think what had been done to you, and how much work it would have taken you to even be in a lab, let alone work in one.
“I promise.” She swallowed, and you took a deep breath in, going on.
“It will replicate what you release to begin shifting, and I’ll watch how long it takes her cells to mutate, and how much they can before, well before they die.” You sighed, and she furrowed her brows.
“They can die?” She asked you, and you nodded, a little more comfortable with being questioned, strangely.
“Yes, if you push yourself too far. I take the blood so I can see how far we have to go before the damage is irreparable, therefore how much to treat her with.” You explained, and she nodded.
“And how did you figure that out?” She asked you, and you hummed, taking the pipe you had laid down on the desk and taking another drag, your eyes going blank for a moment.
“It’s,” you glanced to Elianna, suddenly aware she was in the room. “A long story.” You sighed, and the younger woman’s eyes narrowed, but let you be, coming over to watch as well, dragging a stool to the other side of the table. She stared at you for a moment, looking up into your eyes, evaluating.
Larissa felt the urge to pull away, but she would be damned if this woman made her move away from you even a millimeter. She looked down at the bandage over her arm, then at you, and Larissa, and you again.
“I have another confession.” She admitted, and then Larissa did straighten up, stepping to your side, but keeping her hand on your lower back protectively. You scoffed at the younger woman, choosing to begin the process of working on her blood, watching it under the microscope as you waited for her to come out with it.
“I used to steal your poetry.” She said, and you didn’t even bother looking up.
“I know.” You answered calmly, and her eyes went wide.
“Really?” She asked, and you hummed, focused, calm again.
“You weren’t subtle. You’d play songs with lyrics I had written.” You reminded the singer, and she groaned, her cheeks turning red. You cracked a smile at that, humming a tune. Larissa watched as she perked up, knowing what you were humming, apparently.
“Hey, those are half mine.” She protested, and you nodded.
“Yes, my, troubles with food were never related to what I looked like.” You reminded her, and she nodded, looking to Larissa for a moment.
“Wait,” she thought, and you sighed deeply, knowing where this was going.
“Shut up, count your calories, I never looked good in mom jeans.” The younger woman sang, and you swallowed, continuing the line, only with the original poem you had written, not the lyrics she had created from it.
“Wish I, could see you, blue eyes blondie, perfect body.” You swallowed, and Larissa’s eyes went wide. “Maybe I should try harder.” You whispered, peripherally aware of the irony of you working while saying this.
“You should lower your expectations.” Elianna sang, and you shook your head, noting something down as you removed the slide from the microscope, taking a few vials and another blood drop, creating a new slide and continuing.
“I’m no shifter Barbie, I was never cut out for loveing.” You sighed, placing the new slide under the microscope, using the hormone and adding the first drug you had mixed for treatment. “If I learn to heal me, maybe I’d be worthy.” You finished, and both women stared at you for a moment. You ignored them, not fully focusing on the words you had said, instead jotting down another note on how much this had slowed the damage before repeating the small experiment with the next drug cocktail.
Larissa caught your wrist when you went to exchange the plates, causing you to look up at her. You looked up at her in confusion as she cupped your jaw, a watery smile finding its way onto her lips.
“More than.” Is all she whispered, kissing you softly before pulling away, sitting next to you as both shifters watched you work until the early hours of the morning.
Chapter 30: Show Me
Summary:
You finish working on the serum for Elianna, only to end up somehow even closer to Larissa. As guilt floods you, she does everything she can to keep you close.
WARNING: PTSD/Flashbacks/Medical Scenes/Sexual content
Notes:
Hello everyone! I’m so happy to be back, and now I should be back to uploading every other week, hopefully with far less burnout! Let me know what you think, comments are the highlight of my days.
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
The both of them had fallen asleep quite a while ago, and you smiled a bit at the both of them half laying on the desk you were still working at the center of. Their backs would hurt tomorrow, in all likelihood, but them dozing off while you worked still warmed you as sweet.
You hummed as you finished the serum, testing it one final time in a vial of Elianna’s blood before bottling it, cleaning up a bit before you came back to the table, both women sighing softly in sleep.
You had turned off the music a while ago, letting them sleep in the quiet clinking of your work, glass on glass, metal on glass, metal on metal. It was easy for you to do this, and you smiled and hummed happily at the two of them resting, thank god, they were resting. She was resting, after all you had put her through the last few days. Then again you had ordered Elianna to rest as well.
You glanced at your watch, it was nearing three in the morning and you would have to teach tomorrow, Larissa would have to introduce Elianna- Elena, and everything would go back to normal. However, there were a few potential hours of rest left, and hopefully enough time to straighten out the back aches they were in the process of giving themselves. You pulled your gloves back on, setting the bottle on the table before leaning over it, stroking Larissa’s back gently as you hummed Elianna’s name.
“Elianna,” you called gently, and the younger woman did nothing. You called her name louder, “Elianna,” you tried again, and she stirred a bit as you chuckled, feeling Larissa begin to wake under your gentle touches. “Ellie?” You tried one more time, and the younger woman lifted her head with the biggest eyes she could give you in her natural state.
“I’m- I can still be Ellie?” She asked you, as soft and sleepy as she used to be when she was a child. You smiled a bit, nodding, your throat a bit tight at the memories. She used to be so young, you all used to be so young.
“If you’d like to be, yes.” You said softly, and she smiled up at you sleepily, her eyes watering. “I need to give you an injection, then to bed with the both of you!” You laughed a little, and Larissa’s hand stroked over where yours rested on the table. Your breath hitched as you looked down, still slightly surprised by the gesture, still not expecting it. If she noticed your surprise, she said nothing, allowing you to clear your throat, focusing on the task at hand. You smiled, stroking your own thumb over her hand before looking back at the younger shifter.
“Quick pinch.” You said, and Elianna stood up, lifting her shirt and offering her stomach sleepily. You cleaned the spot, measuring out and injecting the concoction you had made before giving her another plaster, as well as the bottle. “You can have me do it, or you can do it yourself, whichever you prefer. Another dose tonight at dinner, then breakfast the next day, until your symptoms stop. It will help, but this is not an ability modifier, this helps you heal, it doesn’t let you push farther, do you understand?” You nearly reprimanded, and the younger woman nodded before heading off to bed, waving tiredly over her shoulder. “I mean it!” You called after her, and she just shot you a thumbs up, leading to your deep sigh as you watched her go, shaking your head.
Larissa was sitting beside you, looking up at the small smirk on the corner of your lips. You looked beautiful. Tired, as always, but beautiful. Your hair had fallen from where you had tied it up, and your eyes were a bit puffy, tired, but the care you showed the younger woman still warmed her, even if she didn’t understand how you could do it. The girl had broken your ribs once, and now you looked at her the same way she saw students look at their younger siblings when they came to visit.
You looked down at Larissa curiously, feeling her eyes on you, and she could have sworn she was starstruck. Your eyes shone silver in the early morning hours, even if you should have been utterly exhausted.
“We can still get a few hours, your back has to ache.” You said softly, and she nodded, blinking a few times as she stood, walking with you towards her rooms in the main building.
“I’m surprised I fell asleep.” She sighed, and you nodded a bit, a soft smile settling on your lips. The fact that she had, and that she must have been at least somewhat calm to do so, wasn’t lost on you.
“So am I, but that you were calm enough to is a very good thing.” You said, looking up at her as you walked. She shivered when you stepped out of the greenhouse, and you wrapped your arm around hers, pulling her a little closer, to her surprise. She pulled back, making you smile as you leant your head on her shoulder as the two of you walked towards the main building.
She blushed, you were leaning into her. Willingly close again. It had only been a day, but lord had she missed it.
“It’s late.” She hummed, looking up at the dark sky.
“It’s just after three in the morning.” You answered her unasked question, and her eyes went wide as she looked at you.
“You worked until three in the morning!” She hissed, lowering her voice as you stepped into the main building, but mildly livid regardless. You huffed a bit in laughter, shaking your head. As if three in the morning was a late night for you.
“Yes, but now it’s done, and I will go to bed, and do my best to go to bed earlier tomorrow if you wish.” You hushed her, and she glared at you.
“You will.” She almost threatened, and you raised a brow at the taller woman.
“Oh? Will I?” You asked her, reaching the door to her room. She stared at you for a moment, glancing to yours further up the hall, back to you, to her door, back to you.
Then the door was opening behind you and you were being kissed, so powerfully you nearly fell back to the floor. You might have if she hadn’t caught you around the waist, pulling you into her. The breath left your body as her lips met yours, the soft sigh you gave at feeling her against you again only spurring the woman on further. She pulled away, just a touch, and you found yourself chasing her lips, already needing more of what you had wanted for so long.
“You will.” She said again, her brows raised in command even as a blush crept onto her cheeks. You felt yourself blushing, your lips parting slightly in want.
“As you wish.” You replied, turning away from her to change out of your clothes. Not yet, you couldn’t yet, not after you had worked. You needed, you needed to be away from the work, what had scared her, who you were when you worked. You didn’t want to be that woman with her.
She felt the moment your mind left her, your eyes going far away for a moment, a look of guilt, or regret, before you pulled away, sliding shaky hands over hers as you turned. You stayed though, smiling slightly at her, your eyes sparking in mischief, and she felt ease settle in her chest.
God, it killed her to feel you pull away, but watching your body be revealed, however slowly, she loved. Her heart stopped when you went to remove your tartan skirt, remembering how much you had struggled earlier, your twisted hip hidden under the fabric. Only when you dropped the skirt, there was nothing but your usual scarring, and she found herself exhaling in relief.
You turned over your shoulder, catching her staring at your hips. You raised a brow, about to remind her the two of you only had a few hours to sleep before you saw the little hitch in her breath, the slight nervousness in her. She was worried.
You smiled softly, removing the rest of her clothes and finding the nightclothes you had left in here the other night, pulling the slip on before sitting yourself on the bed, waiting for her. She swallowed, unsure what you wanted.
“I- you’ll stay?” She asked, and your heart broke for the woman. She was still terrified you’d leave. Knowing what she had been through, you couldn’t blame her. Part of you was still terrified she’d tell you to go. More than part, really. After everything she had seen tonight, how you had scared her. You knew what it felt like to be reminded of pain like that, and the fact that you had been a reminder nearly had tears in your eyes.
“May I?” You asked her, and she was over to you in a moment, nodding as she cupped your face, staring into your gray eyes with tears finding their way into her own.
“Please,” was all she said, and you nodded. You felt her hand hover near your hip, her fingers reaching for you ever so slightly before she stopped herself.
“I’m alright, you know, you can touch it, if you’d like.” You breathed, nodding to your hip. She bit her red lip nervously.
“I know you don’t like it, it’s alright.” She swallowed, and you shook your head, taking her hand in your own, standing as you led it to your hip. She exhaled shakily as her fingertips drifted over the curve of it, over the top, then around to the side, up your spine to feel the curve of it before tracing back down, repeating slight variations of the pattern until not a single bit of it was left untraced. Your lips parted, your body shaking slightly at the touch. It felt divine, she felt divine, and you wondered how you could ever deserve it. You swallowed down the tremble making its way up your body, the urge to stop her before she did too much, before you asked her for too much, making itself known. You swallowed it down, closing your eyes and letting your head fall back slightly as she traced you.
God, you looked somehow impossibly innocent, such little touch drove you to such reactions it made her want to see how you would react to every little thing. Then again the way your face contorted slightly, that was almost sinful, at the very least it had her picturing sinful thoughts.
But she couldn’t, not right now, not when you had spent the night into the morning working. She needed to let you rest, she told herself. You needed rest.
She closed her eyes, breathing shakily as she leaned down towards you, placing a kiss on your forehead and resting her chin on top of your hair, breathing in the scent that was so uniquely you.
“You’re alright.” She whispered, and you nodded.
“Yes, I’m alright.” You assured her, and she held you a little tighter. Your reactions to touch may distract her, but the reason why she needed to feel over the places her hands hesitated hadn’t left her.
“I don’t- I don’t like seeing you in pain.” She admitted, and you nodded, holding her a little tighter.
“I know love, I’m sorry.” You swallowed, and she only shook her head, running her hands over your back, soothing the both of you. You shuddered as she did, leaning into her hands and sighing, feeling the tiredness seep into you.
“Can we-“ you began to ask, only to feel yourself pushed into the bed, sighing softly as you watched the woman change into her own nightclothes, the expanses of smooth skin making you itch to mark them, to stain her with your own fingertips and lips.
She slid into the bed next to you, under the covers you laid on top of. You didn’t move, only staring at the ceiling as she pulled the covers over herself.
“Care to join me?” She asked you, cocking a brow at your dazed position. You breathed in deeply, staring at the ceiling. You still felt… wrong. You were still guilty, unclean.
“I should shower, I don’t know why I changed.” You sighed, and she shot you a leveling look, not that you could see it.
“You need to sleep.” The woman reprimanded, and you shook your head.
“No, I don’t want to- I was working, that shouldn’t enter into-“
“You showered before dinner.” She reminded you, and you shook your head.
“Yes but I shouldn’t-“ You tried, and she cut you off again.
“You’re exhausted, you need to rest.” She said, her voice tighter. It sounded like anger, and yet all she felt was worry you would go. She didn’t want you to go. She needed you to stay, she needed you. She felt worry rise in her chest at the idea of you leaving, terror nearly filling her as the image of you leaving, of you never returning to her bed filled her mind.
You felt your own guilt begin to rise, remembering all you had done this evening, how they looked at you, and how vile it made you feel to see fear in their eyes. That’s what you needed to wash off, the vileness that came with your work, the pain it brought to those who had seen how horrific it could be.
“I need to wash it off, Larissa, I was working .” You gritted, and she felt herself glare at the ceiling you were staring blankly at.
“It’s not as if you sweat, well…” she thought of how you danced when you worked, and felt herself flush as she imagined your body moving like that again.
“I don’t want to- I don’t want…” you tried, unable to find the words.
“What?” She said quickly, coming out of her own imagination, and you yelped at how quickly she spoke, your words flying from your lips before your brain could filter it.
“I don’t want to bring the part of me that scares you into your bed!” You rushed, and she froze, turning to look at where you lay on the bed.
That’s when she saw it.
She saw the pain on your face, the worry, she saw it all. She saw the tears you were attempting to hold back, the slight bobbing of your throat.
You felt the dip of the bed as she crawled out of the covers, coming over to you and kneeling behind your head, forcing you to look up at her. She needed you to hear this, she desperately needed you to hear this.
“I’m not, nor have I ever been, scared of you , Ophelia.” She said softly, and you closed your eyes, feeling a tear slip down your cheek at the words you didn’t know you needed to hear.
She bit her lip, considering something, she remembered what her aunt used to do when she was scared, granted doing it to you would be different, but still. She could, the idea was there, she didn’t know if you would let her, but you had been so tactile today, perhaps…
Then again any excuse to touch your wild hair is one she would have taken.
She raised her hands slowly, unsurely, towards your face.
You didn’t open your eyes, you knew she was moving, but you weren’t ready to look at her quite yet. You were still unsure.
She however, had to be sure to do this. She needed her hands to be steady, calm, like yours were when you worked, so different then when you reacted to touch.
She ran her fingers up your shoulders first, gently lifting your head with one hand and sweeping your hair up above you and free. Your eyes snapped open when you realized, looking into her own watery eyes.
“May I?” She asked, very softly, almost scared you would say no. You nodded mutely, your eyes wide at the display, unable to find the words. She ran her fingers through your hair gently, starting at your hairline and working her way back slowly. Your curls were much more wild than her own naturally straight hair, so she was beyond gentle as she separated the knots that formed in the strands. You both sat in silence for a while, your eyes closing and your breathing evening as she worked.
You were calming.
“My aunt taught me to do my hair.” She said softly, and you hummed, your furrowed brow smoothing slightly as she continued playing with your hair. “Did…” Larissa started, unsure if she had the strength to ask what she wanted to know.
She was glad you had someone, and she was glad her aunt knew you, loved you, even if she had used you. She was jealous in a way, that the two of you had spent so much time together, but more than anything she wanted to know the women Victoria, Georgianna, or whatever she called herself was, beyond just the aunt she had as a child. “Did she ever do yours?” She managed to ask, her hands continuing to comb through it, distracting you from the panic and anxiety, but more than anything the guilt, you felt.
You sighed, deeply.
You knew it was hard for her, you didn’t want to make it harder, but you did want to let her know the woman as much as you could.
“She tried,” you said softly. “She helped me cut out the matting and grow my hair out, but she never quite got the hang of my curls.” You said gently, and Larissa gave a watery smile. She ran her fingers through your wild locks, smiling a bit.
“No, I don’t imagine they listen to anyone other than you.” She breathed shakily, and you opened your eyes, staring up at her. Her eyes were watering as she played with your hair, imagining her aunt doing the same.
“Would- would you like to see?” You asked her, and her hands froze. You couldn’t possibly be referring to that, would you even let her see her aunt, that would, she remembered the time you had done that, when you had let her speak to her aunt, she remembered watching your chest dip as CPR was performed on you, your ribs bowing so much she worried they may break. It was sickening, It was horrifying, watching our body, so still, be forced to continue by someone else.
“No.” She said firmly, and you looked away, embarrassed by offering. “Under no circumstances will you harm yourself for a conversation again, I- I know who she was, I will not lose you trying to find answers to questions like that.” She gritted, and your eyes widened as you realized what she thought you were offering.
Oh.
You brought your hand to hers, running your thumb over her in a soothing motion.
“Not, not like that Larissa.” You said softly, and she furrowed her brows, looking at you. “Would you like to see what she used to do, who she was, not what, whatever or wherever she is now.” You sighed, and her beautiful blue eyes took on a sadness and surprise that just broke your heart. Visions, you were talking about visions, she realized. Memories you could show her.
“I- could I?” She stuttered, and you nodded, smiling softly.
“Lay down next to me,” you instructed, and she did so, tentatively curling into your side and resting her head on your chest. Your breath hitched as she curled in, but you made no move to push her away, if anything you tilted your head up to give her more room.
You reached over, taking her hand in yours, her own eyes going wide as she watched you thread your fingers together. You swallowed down the fear, your hands were the most potent part of you, the most deadly if you lost control, and having them held like this, palm to palm, your fingers intertwining, your heart rate nearly tripled.
She could feel it, how fast your heart was beating, and gave you a small squeeze, making your shuddering breath come out in some sort of laugh before falling back into silence. She stared at your intertwined hands, humming as she ran a finger over a blackened nail.
They were so beautiful to her. She didn’t understand how you had come to despise something so beautiful.
“I wondered, you know.” She said softly, and you hummed in questioning. “What they would feel like, the first time I saw you, in my office, Wednesday took off your glove and I wondered what they would feel like.” She said softly, almost reverently. You sighed, nuzzling into her hair a bit, smelling the sweet perfume, remembering the day.
“I could see you staring, most people do, however I was mostly distracted by the fact that it was you in the same room as me, not a vision.” You sighed, and she hummed in turn, tracing your fingers, your throat bobbing as she did so.
“Do- did, did you ever think we’d meet?” She asked, and you nuzzled deeper into her hair, the scent of her calming you.
“I knew it was possible, and I- well, I thought it would be foolish, cruel, to want to meet you.” You said softly, and she took your hand fully, holding it in her own as she tilted her head up on your chest to look at you.
“Would it not be cruel to deny me this?” She asked you, and you smiled a bit at her mind .
“Why, is there something you’d like Miss Weems?” You hummed, and she looked away, your teasing not quite landing. “I’m sorry, it’s- it’s complicated.” You sighed, and she nodded a bit, closing her eyes as she hid in your neck.
“Because of her?” She asked you, and you swallowed.
“I- I know that she wanted me to find you. I also know that when she found you she didn’t bring you into our world, she wouldn’t expose you to that risk, no more than I would expose Wednesday.” You swallowed, and she nodded.
“Is that not a choice I get to make for myself?” She replied, her mind working even now, as late as it was and the both of you curled together. Damn and bless her for her brilliant mind.
“Yes, it is.” You sighed, your eyes closing as you looked almost, defeated for a moment, she was going to say more, but you kept them closed, gripping her hand a bit tighter as the familiar pull of a vision came over her.
She found her consciousness hurtling into herself, through your connected hands, and into you.
This time she found herself sitting on your bed in your room at the manor, the handmade blanket she had noticed on it looked less well-loved, and she ran a hand over it, smiling at the fact that it felt warm to the touch. It appeared things in your visions took on the reactions you had to them, so the blanket felt innately warm, and somehow safe.
“I- I have to cut it, dear, I’m sorry.” She heard, and turned to find Georgianna standing by the vanity with far less scratches on the old wood, her hands very gently attempting to figure out a matted mass of red hair.
Her heart broke as she saw you, you must have been seventeen again, still emaciated, but not deathly so. You were clutching another blanket around your shoulders, it seemed you didn’t wear the gloves yet, but you cringed away from the woman’s touch slightly, no matter how delicate she attempted to be.
“I know.” You sighed, your voice still scratchy, and disturbingly hollow. It had yet to take on the warmth and life Larissa knew it to have, just as your eyes looked to be without it.
The older shifter was presenting over six and a half feet again, and Larissa found herself mystified by the woman’s boldness. She had forgotten how tall her aunt was. Georgianna was different, she knew that, instead of the pale skin and white-blonde hair, this woman had brown curls, looser than yours, but curly nonetheless, she knew they were different, but seeing the woman in, well not quite, but almost in the flesh was different.
She had tan skin and freckles around her smile lines below quick green eyes. Georgianna wore pants, her aunt had always preferred dresses. There was a discarded jacket in the room, she must have taken it off when she began working, yet her hands, her hands were similar. A different skin tone, yes, but the shape of them made Larissa’s breath hitch. The nails were shorter, and un-painted, but those were her aunt's hands. Those were the hands of the woman she had looked up to as a child.
Your haunted eyes looked up at the woman in the mirror, swallowing as you looked at the matted mass around your face. They had shaved your head periodically at Newflight, but then once you had become more dangerous, they stopped, limiting any interaction with you outside of experimentation. Your red hair now hung in mats, too ruined to even be brushed out.
Too ruined.
The paralel was not lost on you.
You tried to smile, to nod, to tell the woman who had rescued you that it was ok, that you were thankful for her, and for all the effort she was putting into you. You really did try, and the weak, false smile you barely managed was so much more heartbreaking for it.
“It’s ok, cut it.” You rasped, looking away from the mirror. You didn’t want to look. She would do it, and you would be fine, it would be done, and you would move on.
Larissa watched as her aunt searched for the proper way to comfort you, how to heal the gaping wound in the world that you were.
The woman’s hands came to your shoulder first, and you jumped a bit. She wasn’t sure what to do, how to help, but she would do her best to.
“I think short hair might suit you.” She said gently, and you shook your head.
“It- it doesn’t, they used to buzz it all off, it- I don’t like it.” You stuttered, looking down at the vanity, your hands and body hidden under the blanket wrapped around your shoulders. She reached around you, and you ducked your head as she produced a pair of scissors from a drawer.
“Perhaps, but I believe we can do a little better than that.” She said, and you looked up at her, your sunken eyes confused. Larissa’s breath hitched as she watched her aunt begin to cut away pieces of your hair, allowing them to fall to the floor, chunks of knots coming free. Larissa could feel you trying not to cry. She could feel the restraint you were attempting to hold on to as one of the last signs of who you were fell to the ground. She watched as Georgianna gently hummed and tried to soothe you, running her hands through the short locks left behind falling just below the bottom of your ears, some nearly reaching your jaw.
“I’ve always thought curly hair was beautiful, and your color is stunning.” She said kindly, and you shook your head.
“It’s a mess, it’s always been.” You sighed, and she furrowed her brows.
“Well, have you ever had it cut? Properly, not like this, I mean.” She asked you, and you swallowed, shaking your head.
“I- I don’t know? They shaved it… there,” you trailed before catching yourself. “And my mother always chopped it when it reached my shoulders.” You sighed, and the tall woman shook her head, seemingly very displeased. Larissa smiled a bit at the familiar expression, even on a different face. Her aunt had always loved beauty and fashion, it was the reason she had taken such an interest. Appearance was an expression of control, a way to change how the world perceived someone, that was something her aunt had taught her, but she had also taught her how much fun it could be.
“Oh absolutely not, don’t you worry dear, we’ll fix all of this.” Georgianna smiled, taking the shears to a few more places before producing a brush from the vanity. You visibly cringed, shirking away from the implement before she softened, almost looking heartbroken for a moment.
Larissa watched as the woman sighed, setting the brush down next to you and placing her hands over your shoulders, you seemed to be unused to the touch, but it was over blankets, and this was before… before you realized how deadly touching you could be, it seemed.
Her eyes were gentle, and Larissa felt tears fall down her cheeks as she recognized the expression. That may be a different face, but it was the same expression.
“I’ll be gentle, I promise.” She said softly, and the younger you nodded, albeit slowly, and certainly without making eye contact. The woman took the brush to what was left of your hair, starting very carefully on the very ends. “I used to brush my niece’s hair.” She said distantly, and Larissa felt her own breath stutter past her lips.
The younger you looked up, a little bolder at learning some of the woman’s past. It was surprising to see you like that, shy, but despite how sunken your eyes were, they were the same striking grey that had Larissa’s heart twisting, an effect not lost on her aunt, it seemed.
“She’s- mmm, she’s about your age, she has straight hair, but her mother pulls it, so whenever I see her I make sure to do it gently.” She told you, and you nodded a bit as the woman began to untangle everything now that the major mats were cut out.
“What’s she like?” You asked, so quietly Larissa barely heard it.
“She’s, haha, she’s a bit like you, different ability, but she has the same kind of strength you do.” The woman stumbled, and Larissa could hear as emotion choked her throat. Her aunt never knew what happened to her, she had run away, and she hadn’t told anyone, not even her aunt, she couldn’t risk her father finding her, he would punish her too severely. Years later, when she tried to find the woman, Victoria seemed to have disappeared from the record. Although she wouldn’t know it, when her aunt finally found her, she wouldn’t dare disturb the world the younger woman had created for herself.
Yet in this moment of time, neither knew where the other was, if they were even alright. Victoria had attempted to track her niece, but when the trails went dead she feared what you had gone through was the fate of her niece, she prayed it wasn’t, but she knew what this world would do to a young shifter on her own.
“I don’t think I’m very strong.” You whispered, and both women gasped, Larissa’s eyes going wide as Georgianna put her hands on your shoulder, helping you look up in the mirror. Unsure grey eyes met steady green ones, ice blue watching both in amazement.
“You are so much stronger than you know, I promise you sweet girl.” She said softly, and you looked up, your eyes watering. You tried to smile when you saw yourself in the mirror, she had chopped your hair to about the length of your ears, and brushed it out, meaning it looked quite strange, however seeing without all the matting weighing it down meant some hint of the curls still existed. “We will grow this out a little bit, and then I’ll take you to a proper place that does curls, get them cut to help them come back, alright?” Georgianna promised, and you nodded a bit, a small watery smile peaking through the tears.
Larissa swallowed down the tears she felt building in her own throat. You were alright, she knew that now, but then, the both of you were alright.
The scene changed, to one where you were older, an adult now, not too many years younger than Larissa knew you actually, and you were sitting in some sort of lab, a white coat over your arms and your hair loosely tied back, glasses sat on your nose as you scribbled something down before looking back into a microscope.
“You’re close, aren’t you?” She heard someone hum, and somehow Larissa only then managed to notice Georgianna sitting at the table next to you, an intravenous line hooked up to her, as well as a tube that led to some sort of small machine, her blood flowing into it in very small increments. She looked tired, but she didn’t seem unhappy, if anything she looked proud.
“Closer, not there yet, it’s- it’s a lot to reverse engineer, and it’s not exactly as if I have other work to base this off of.” You sighed, and she laughed a bit. Yes, tired, but happy. Larissa’s heart nearly stopped as she recognized the way her aunt laughed. She could see her then, really see her aunt in Georgianna.
So this is how you recognized shifters then, she realized. The mannerisms, unless the shifter was actively trying to change them, stayed the same. It was incredible, and beautiful, in a way. The fact that you could watch that closely, that you would watch that closely mesmerized her. She then thought of why you might be able to do that, to evaluate and memorize so quickly, and she felt a sickness settle in her stomach.
Georgianna’s voice brought her out of it, and she recognized how the cadence, the speech pattern, was the same, even if the voice itself and accent were different to her aunt.
“If anyone can…” The woman trailed, and you shot her a tired glare.
“Mhm,” you hummed, only half paying attention to her as you continued to work.
This was your work, this was how you knew so much about her classification. Larissa didn’t know it, but this was the last gift her aunt would ever give her.
The vision changed again, and this time, this time Larissa’s breath was truly taken away.
You were younger again, before the scars on your arms, before you had begun covering every bit of your skin, to protect either yourself or others. She still wasn't entirely sure in which capacity you did that. She knew you were dangerous, hell it had been mentioned that you could kill with a touch, and your skin was a sensitive trigger to your abilities, yet she also knew you did it to prevent the transfer of visions, and often to protect yourself.
It was, complicated, she knew that much, but all rational thought fled her mind as she saw you, in what must have been your early to mid twenties, in a sundress of all things.
Her jaw dropped as she saw you spin around, picking up a child and lifting her high into the air, your scarless arms glimmering in the golden afternoon sun. Your hair was partially pinned back, a few errant curls falling in your face as always, and yet the majority of it was pinned back and oh the freedom in that smile. It was breathtaking. You were stunning, glimmering, glowing, you looked like a goddess of the earth and sun, and more free than she had ever seen you.
You spun the girl in your arms around, dipping her this way and that, making her giggle as Georgianna came out from the house, her eyes contrastingly tired, even if her smile was full.
Georgianna was carrying the full weight that she had seen on you, the exhaustion, the ache that sunk into your heart and never left, making your bones creak under the pressure of grief. That was before, Larissa realized. This was before you had worked at the hospital, this was when you only visited, when you were a patient still, in a way.
As she looked at Georgianna she realized this was the weight of the hospital.
The woman laughed, taking the child from your arms and spinning you around by your hand. You laughed with her, poking the little girl on the nose before going to do something, yet somehow the vision stayed on Georgianna, the view not changing to follow you. Larissa stayed with Georgianna, and as she ruffled the hair of the little girl in her arms, revealing strawberry blonde locks, she realized you had been playing with a young Mirella.
The girl giggled, pulling at Georgianna’s curls before asking to be put down so she could chase after you, bringing you back out into the garden. You ran up to Georgianna again, and Larissa watched in amazement as the two of you and the girl spent the afternoon in the garden. The light would change, flashes of moments fading in and out, and Larissa found herself sitting in the grass, watching the three of you, and occasionally Jenkins, play tag, have a tea party, tell stories, and while away the evening.
You often grew flowers for the two there, and considering the thin straps of your dress and bare feet, little of you couldn't be connected to the earth you felt so comforted by.
Eventually, Mirella was put to bed, and you and Georgianna stood in the garden. Well, she stood, staring up at the stars, as you laid on the ground, flicking your fingers and making the tree above you both bloom different colors, occasionally bioluminescent colors, in the starlight.
“You’re good with them,” Georgianna hummed, and you smiled a bit, shaking your head. “The children, you’re wonderful. '' She clarified, sitting down, and you sighed deeply, placing your arm down, letting it fall over your stomach, caressing a spot there, not saying anything.
The older shifter recognized the action, even if Larissa could only notice it. This was something you had long put to bed by the time she had met you, something you were grateful for even, but apparently it bothered the younger you.
“I’ve lost you, little flower.” Georgiana hummed, and you shook your head, sighing and coming back to the moment from wherever your mind had gone.
“No, I- it’s alright. I know I… I can’t, and that’s alright, I know why, hell I made that decision, but sometimes I, i’m not sure.” You swallowed, and the woman sat with you, allowing the pants she was wearing to potentially be stained with grass.
“You were young, far too young to have had to make that decision.” She said, and Larissa’s brows furrowed as she attempted to figure out what the two of you were discussing. She knew you had escaped when you were young, and you had… you had started seeing her when you were young. Was it that? Did you regret that? Or, not regret, but did you…
“I don’t want kids.” You said suddenly, and Larissa felt her face flame red as she realized what this was, this was far too personal, this was a bit of information she had only accidentally heard when you had once spoken to Jenkins, she shouldn’t be hearing this, why would you show her this?
“No, but you can still want the option to have them.” Georgianna said, and Larissa’s breath caught. She was comforting you.
“I think i’ve made the wrong decision sometimes, or perhaps I did, I- I have this ability, I’ve certainly never met anyone with it, don’t I have some duty to pass it on?” You asked her, and the brunette was quiet for a moment, glancing from you, to the stars, back to you.
“I have a niece.” She said softly, and both you and Larissa froze, your eyes only just leaving the sky to look at the woman.
“You mean…” You trailed, and she nodded, swallowing. This was hard for her, beyond vulnerable, and far beyond what she was willing to tell anyone else. Even Jenkins only knew so much. You of course knew the woman had a niece, she had told you before, but that was about all the detail she ever gave you.
“Yes, the, other me, who I used to be.” She sighed, and you fell silent, watching the woman. “I never had children, and I certainly have no interest in it, but she… she’s like me.” She explained slowly, as if each word held a weight she wasn’t sure the air could carry.
“You mean she…” You trailed again, nervous to ask the questions. You didn’t know how much you were allowed to ask. Georgianna never spoke about who she was before she was Georgiana, and she certainly had never mentioned her family.
Larissa felt tears come to her eyes as she watched the woman her aunt became try to find the words.
“Yes, full corporeals by the time she was seven, she can change objects too, although I don’t know if she remembers doing that. She even, oh god ,” the woman sighed looking off in an attempt to stop tears coming to her eyes despite the joy of the memory, and Larissa furrowed her brows. She didn’t remember that. She didn’t remember changing objects as a child, and she certainly didn’t remember being able to shift that young.
“She changed the color of my cat. I had a black shorthair, she shifted her to a white longhair, it was- she’s incredible, likely stronger than I am.” The woman spoke, and Larissa’s eyes went wide as your jaw dropped. She certainly hadn’t remembered that, she would have, wouldn’t she? She knew she had lost some of the memories with her father, but with her aunt? It was almost as if they had been, taken, somehow.
“Stronger than you? Is that- I mean that would be unprecedented, well, you’re unprecedented, but that would be, and that young, how wasn’t she found?” You blurted out before you could stop yourself, and the older woman closed her eyes, shutting down before tears could come to them.
“She was, Phelia, she was.” The woman choked, and your entire demeanor changed. You sat up, moving closer to the woman, almost next to her, nearly leaning into her for support. “She was found, and I didn’t- I didn’t know what he was doing to her, she got away, ran away, but I lost her and I… I lost her.” The woman managed to get out, tears finally breaking, falling down her face as you looked up at her.
“She got away?” You prompted, and Georgianna nodded.
“Yes, I, I don’t know where she is now, but, she has my ability, even if she’s not my daughter.” The woman said, looking down and off into the distance. “I love her like one.” She said so softly it could barely be heard over the sounds of the night, and you swallowed as Larissa felt herself cry, really, truly cry. Only strangely, this didn’t feel like grief, not completely, it just felt like crying.
“I think she knows.” you said quietly, and Georgianna looked to you, slightly surprised as you rested your head on her shoulder, staring up into the night sky, over the manor house that had become your home. “She knows.” You repeated, and the scene faded, the world dissolving into watercolor and fading into black, into nothing.
Larissa opened her eyes on your chest, finding tears rolling down your cheeks, despite your closed eyes and even breath. You were asleep, she realized, and even in your sleep, you cried. She curled into you, pulling a spare blanket from the bottom of the bed over you both. She would have been freezing with just the blanket had it not been for how warm you always ran.
So warm.
She slept soundly on your chest, and for once you didn’t dream. The night was quiet, after days of chaos, the night was quiet, and she thanked the stars as you slept soundly.
…
You woke up alone this time, and felt your breath hitch in fear.
She wasn’t there. You hadn’t fallen asleep alone, did she leave? You were in her room, the sheets, the blanket around you, it all smelled like her, when you whipped up in the bed the scent washed over you again, making your eyes water as fear gripped you.
Did she leave you? Or worse, did someone take her?
Your heart began to pound, if she was gone, someone could have hurt her, they could come back for you, just like before.
You needed to go, you needed to get up and find her.
You needed to find her and get you both out of here, get you to somewhere safe, you needed to make sure she was safe.
You heard the doorknob turn and snapped up, sliding off the bed and pulling the knife you had stored under her mattress on your first night in her room. You flicked it in your hands, preparing yourself as you looked at the door, waiting.
It began to open slowly, as if someone was attempting to sneak in, and you moved silently behind the door, the knife bared and waiting, ready, you were always ready.
Larissa felt the knife to her neck as she entered her own room, gasping as the cool blade pressed to her throat.
It was gone as soon as she felt it, down and away, placed on a table as you looked up at her in horror, you had moved so fast she hadn’t even realized what had happened before it was over. When had you moved in front of her- how did that- You were staring up at her with those eyes again, those eyes full of grief and horror, and she realized what had happened.
You had woken up, and you didn’t know it was her.
“When- what happened last time someone wasn’t there? When, when you woke up?” She breathed heavily, staring down at you as your eyes filled with tears and a regret more powerful than any one person should have to hold.
You shook your head, your throat closing up.
You had held a knife. To her throat.
You knew why you did it- hell you had done it because you thought it was someone who might have harmed her, but you had nearly cut the throat of the woman you loved.
“I’m sorry,” you begged, shaking your head, and the woman just took your face in her hands, wiping away the tears as she swallowed. She had never seen you as scared as you were when you thought you had hurt her.
“It’s alright, I’m here, it’s just me, it’s alright.” She said softly, and you placed your shaking hands on her wrists, shaking your head, panic rising in you so fast you couldn’t breathe. “Close your eyes darling, listen to me, it’s alright, it’s alright.” She repeated, pulling you into her chest, realizing once again how small you were compared to her.
“I’m sorry,” you just kept repeating, and the woman lifted you slightly, pulling you partially into her lap as she held you.
“I went- I just went to get ready darling, some tea from the kitchens, I have an earlier start today than you do.” She whispered, her hands caressing your back slowly, stroking you soothingly as your breathing evened. “What happened last time?” She asked you, and you swallowed, shaking your head. You didn’t know what to say, how to make this make sense. You didn’t know how to make it up to her. So you settled on the truth.
“I- the last time it wasn’t the woman I was with that came back.” Is all you managed to say, getting up and looking down at the woman, ready for the day, not a hair out of place, lipstick perfectly precise. Her eyes were full of concern, worry, and your own dropped to her throat as she swallowed.
You kneeled again, taking her jaw in your hand, inspecting her silently.
“You didn’t hurt me, Ophelia.” She said softly, nervous as you fell silent, your eyes cooling, becoming far more intense as you stared at her throat, looking for any sign of injury. You were looking at her like a patient, she realized, and her breath hitched as you leant in, evaluating her throat.
There wasn’t even a scratch.
Her hand came to rest on your shoulder, calling you out of your stupor.
“Ophelia,” She breathed, looking down at you as your eyes found hers, looking up through your lashes at her you were so close. “I’m ok.” She said plainly, her eyes not leaving yours.
“You’re ok?” You swallowed, and she nodded, her other hand coming up to cup your jaw.
“I’m ok.” She repeated.
“You’re ok.” You nodded, your eyes widening as her thumb stroking over your cheek. She leaned down, feeling your breath hitch as she got closer, her lips just a breath from yours.
“May I kiss you, darling?” She asked softly, and you shuddered in her grasp. You wanted her close after that, after being scared like that, after fearing she was hurt, but after nearly hurting her she would let you that close?
“You- but I- really?” You breathed, and she nodded.
“I’d like to.” She answered quietly, and you nodded, leaning up on your knees towards her ever so slightly. Her lips brushed over your softly at first, making your hands jump to her shoulders, wrapping around her as you closed your eyes.
She kissed you gently, her hand wrapping into your hair as her other arm held you close around your waist. Your breath hitched as she pulled you tighter, and you stood and pulled her back towards the bed, your knees feeling a bit weak as Larissa bit down slightly on your lower lip, making you moan as you gripped onto her tighter. Your knees hit the bed and you stopped, groaning as the woman slipped her tongue past your lips, playing with yours as you felt yourself squeeze your thighs together slightly, panting as the woman pulled away, looking down at your incredibly flushed face, your eyes dark as a storm looking up at her.
Her eyes flashed as she saw you panting, your eyes half lidded and your lips swollen, your lower lip being dragged between your teeth as you looked up at her, your chest heaving.
“You’re not used to that, are you?” She asked, and you shook your head, your breath still stuttering in your chest. “Oh, darling.” She said softly, leaning down and kissing the top of your forehead, making you blush further as you looked away, swallowing down the embarrassment.
“No, no I- I’m not used to touch, in any way really.” You admitted, and she hummed, the urge to further her attempts at getting you used to it nearly overwhelming her.
“Jenkins, touches you.” She observed, her voice catching slightly at the admittance, and you lifted a brow.
“He does, yes, but certainly never like this.” You answered, and she swallowed back the jealousy she realized she allowed into her voice.
“I- i’m sorry, I didn’t mean to imply-” She started, letting go of you and turning away, her face flushing as she realized what she implied.
“I, haha, I like it,” You whispered, and her eyes widened as she looked to you.
“You do?” She swallowed, and you blushed redder, looking down and away from the woman.
“I- it’s not just, just touch, that I’m unused to, it’s well, yes people have wanted to before, but never when I wanted them to as well, and I- well, being wanted is still different, and with your, well when you stepped in between Eliana and I- that’s being defended, which is also very foreign, but I don’t mind, well I like when-” She cut you off, kissing you again, and you moaned as she kissed you deeply, your hands wrapping around her.
Fuck, that felt good.
“Oh, I like when you-” you gasped as she pulled away from you, just slightly, your foreheads still pressed together. “I like when you’re a little possessive, when you want me.” You swallowed, and her lips trailed down, over your jaw to suck on your pulsepoint, making you moan as heat flooded your body.
“If only you knew,” She husked against you, and you felt yourself tremble at her words.
“ Fuck, ” You whispered, and she hummed against you, groaning as you pressed your body further into her. She pulled away slightly and you whimpered, chasing after her before her hands stilled you, her own pulse racing as she forced herself to pull away, looking down at you.
“We have… there are classes.” She panted, and you nodded, ducking your head and resting it on her shoulder.
“I know,” you nodded, swallowing down the arousal flooding your brain. “I know.” You sighed, sitting back on the bed, shaking your curls out as you attempted to collect yourself. “What mmm, what time is it?” You asked her, running a hand through your hair, and she took a deep, steadying breath, shifting her hair back into perfect place and her lipstick back to normal before checking her watch.
“Quarter past seven.” She answered, clearing her throat, and you swallowed.
“The fact that your workday begins at seven-thirty should be a crime, you know.” You said offhandedly, and she raised a brow, smirking a bit.
“Whyever is that, doctor? Something you’d rather be doing?” She hummed, and you looked up at her, raising your brows.
“I wouldn’t start that game with me, if I were you.” You warned her, and she licked her lips, tilting her chin up and looking down at you.
“I handle myself very well, dear, If I remember correctly I wasn’t the one confessing how foreign touch was to them.” She mocked lightly, and you smirked at her good humor.
“Very well then, Miss Weems, you have my best wishes with you.” You sighed, standing up and heading towards the washroom to get ready for the day, dropping the night slip you had worn to bed halfway there, causing Larissa’s eyes to nearly bulge out of her skull as you turned back over your shoulder, smirking. “You really should know more about all of the kinds of missions I used to run before challenging me to seduce you.” You said lightly, closing the door, the shower turning on moments later, leaving Larissa standing there, flushed and thoroughly concerned she may be out of her depth.
…
She didn’t notice it at first, the two of you had separate mornings, you had a class and she was away in her office, however second period there was a meeting with the entire school in the courtyard. The air was lovely, and Larissa needed to introduce Eliana- Elena as the guest artist spending a few days at the school, so the entire school began to gather outside. She knew you would be there, all faculty was present, and she anticipated you to be thoroughly enchanting as you always were.
What she was not prepared for was you leaning against one of the columns off to the side of the courtyard, sunglasses perched low on your nose, your hair half up as you stood in a mock turtleneck sweater dress, tighter than anything she had ever seen you in. The deep emerald green was offset by the black leather belt you wore, one that had a large leather wrap around your waist with a smaller leather tie around it, giving you a coresetted look.
You were whispering off to Enid, it seemed, one arm folded under your bust as your other elbow perched on your hand, your gloved fingers at the top swirling as you thought of something, your fingers caressing the air delicately as you spoke.
Larissa’s breath caught, the dress was technically school appropriate. Your skin was covered, and the material was thick enough that it wasn't as if she could actually see the outline of your skin and every crevice of your body. But good lord could she see the shape of you.
The sleeves were pulled back to your elbows, revealing you had worn your longer, opera length leather gloves that day. Your legs, what little of them she could see beneath the dress fitting just under your knees, were outfitted in sheer black tights- no, oh holy hell you were wearing stockings . The line up the back of your legs gave them away, she of all people knew it was rare to see a line up the back of the calf in tights, but in stockings, that was commonplace.
If you wore stockings, did you wear garters, or a garter belt?
Did it match whatever else you wore underneath that dress, good lord she really couldn’t get over that dress. She wanted to run her hands over it, over you, to pull you against her and feel every bit of your warm body under the fabric, to make you flush and pant and beg her to take it off.
You rested your chin on your gloved hand, nodding down at something before your posture changed a bit, your eyes scanning the crowd as you felt someone watching you.
Her heart stopped when the slight sweep of your head halted, a small grin, entirely too pleased with yourself, spread across your face as you caught her staring, and nearly blushing, her eyes wide before she stepped to the front of the stairs to address the gathered students and staff.
She had a few minutes, classes were only beginning to gather, and she surveyed those already there. She went to look at you again, finding you no longer there. Her breath hitched, you should be here, all staff should be here, and while she knew while you enjoyed causing a bit of chaos, you wouldn’t outright disobey her, would you? Then again you were a bit of a wild card. Many called you a mad scientist, and there had to be a reason.
“Are you alright, Miss Weems, you look a bit flushed, are you running a fever?” Came your calm voice beside her, and she turned to face you, swallowing and staring down at your body, god you were even better up close. The dress fit over each of your curves perfectly, emphasizing every little bit of your body. Your tits must be pushed up in that belt, that was the only logical explanation for why she couldn't move her eyes from the swell of them. “My, you certainly look a bit flushed, would you like me to escort you to the infirmary?” You asked her, placing a gloved hand gently on her elbow, and good lord she couldn’t have been prepared for what that would bring her.
It wasn’t a full vision, she was still conscious as she saw flashes of something, oh good lord, of you, crossing her mind. You were straddled over her lap, your head thrown back, panting, she could only see bits of it, flashes, almost in slow motion as she saw your body arch, your hair thrown back as you panted, the sound of your breath filling her mind as you- oh fuck you were riding her. She gasped as you pulled your hand away, taking off the sunglasses you wore and looking up at her.
“Miss Weems?” You said again, swallowing, slightly worried you had gone too far, until her eyes landed on yours, darker and more full of lust than you had ever seen them. You shuddered.
“I see.” Was all she said, and you tilted your head slightly, watching her for her next move. The gloves helped prevent you from transferring visions accidentally, but you certainly still could if you wanted to, if you focused on it.
She leaned closer, dropping your voice so only you could hear.
“Tell me doctor, do you often see yourself riding me? Do you know how good it would feel to have me fill you up?” She whispered, her breath tickling past your ear and blowing a strand of your hair you had left down back, the wisp of it dragging over your jawline, so little, and so much at the same time.
Your breath hitched, somewhere between desperately turned on and mildly ashamed of the answer, and you looked up at her with an expression that almost had her breaking before your eyes cleared, glancing over her shoulder and lightening to their normal silvery gray.
“Elena, how are you feeling today?” You asked the young woman, now back to her more average height and brighter eyes and hair.
“Better, thank you, and yes, I did eat breakfast this morning.” She answered before you even asked the question.
“Good,” you hummed, nodding your head and folding your gloved hands in front of your body, running your eyes over the woman before glancing back to the headmistress. “I should find my way back to the crowd, you have your announcement, find me if you need anything.” You instructed the younger woman, who nodded, before looking to Larissa. “Until later then, Miss Weems.” You said with a slight smile, your hand lightly grazing her elbow as you walked past, the scent of petrichor and… roses filling the air of all things.
The woman shuddered as you moved away, swallowing at how your hips swayed ever so slightly in the tight dress. Elena laughed a little, and Larissa’s eyes snapped to her to find the younger woman covering a snicker.
“Did you piss her off or challenge her to a bet?” She smirked, and Larissa glared at the younger shifter.
“I have no idea what you’re referring to.” She said cooly, and Elena raised a brow.
“She’s wearing stilettos. She wears stilettos when she’s either about to seduce someone, destroy someone, or kill someone, or, well, knowing her, all three is an option.” She smiled, watching you go, and Larissa’s eyes dropped to the heels you were wearing, sharp as a needle below those stockings. Good lord, you were far too good at this.
Elena laughed a little at the woman’s face, whistling low as a smile slid onto her own lips.
“Oh, you really should have asked her about the amount of intelligence missions she went on before you did that. The woman has seduced her way out of the fucking electric chair.” She chuckled, and Larissa’s eyes went wide as she stared at the younger woman.
“You mean- she-” She stuttered, watching you turn and speak to another student, pulling your sunglasses on again as you offered some advice, leaning up against the wall.
“She can make her skin taste like honey, or honeysuckles, maybe jasmine, I forget what it was, but it used to be a common joke about her.” The younger woman smiled, and Larissa shot her a very unnamused look. “Well it’s not my fault!” She defended, and Larissa sighed.
Did you want to do this? You had seemed excited by the idea this morning, you even looked as if you were enjoying yourself, but if this is what you used to have to do… targets, if it was something you had been forced to do, were you enjoying yourself, or were you forcing yourself all over again?
“I, if she’s doing what she used to do for that , she, is this a game she enjoys or…” She worried, her words trailing off as she looked at you. Elena followed her gaze, staring at you for a moment.
“She’s leaning.” She said quietly, and Larissa furrowed her brows. “She’s not tense, look at the way she’s looking down at the student, sure, she’s the medic, she’s always ready to move, but that is passive observation, she’s not actively looking for a threat.” She said calmly, and Larissa breathed in deeply as she looked over you. “What else can you see?” Elena asked her, mildly curious at what else the woman would pick up on. It was clear the two of you were… close, and while she had known you to take other lovers, at least in your younger years, she had never seen you be loved before, certainly not so much you trusted the other person.
“She’s wearing longer gloves, but her sleeves are pulled up, that’s only one layer between her skin and, and everything else.” She began, and Elena nodded. “She’s smiling, not the worried one, or even the one she does when she’s attempting to convince me she’s alright, that is… that’s mischievous, she’s enjoying herself, she’s chewing on the inside of her cheek a bit, like she has something to say, or she wants to do something, I-”
“She wants to kiss you.” Elena said, and the woman’s eyes widened as she stared at the redhead in front of her. Her hair really was such a similar shade to yours, lighter though, it seemed.
“I- how could you possibly-” She flustered, only for the woman to wave her off, leaning slightly closer. No students were anywhere near them yet, but they would be soon, and neither of them wanted to take the risk that this of all conversations was heard.
“Please, I was a whore for years and I nearly grew up with the woman, she’s chewing her cheek because she’s seeking stimulation on her lips, it’s really not that complicated. What’s more interesting is the fact that she crossed her legs.” The younger woman chuckled, and Larissa nearly admonished the younger woman right there for speculating about what you may or may not want to do with… your legs. And your lips. Or her lips, on your legs, or-
Heaven help her she couldn’t think straight.
“I think that is quite enough.” She managed to snip at the other woman, and Elena lifted her arms in surrender, a gesture eerily similar to one you did. She could see that yes, the two of you had grown in the same home, at least at the end of your childhood.
She pulled herself together as the rest of the students filed into the courtyard, surveying the lot of them, her eyes never straying from you for too long. She had a job to do, however.
Eventually she stepped forward, introducing Elena to much applause and excitement, the woman was a celebrity after all, before stating that she would be teaching a few masterclasses as well as a lecture about the music industry, as well as joining the chorus rehearsals for the week.
Thankfully, the students seemed ecstatic to have a genuine celebrity on campus, one many of them actively listened to no less, and the woman introduced herself surprisingly professionally, even thanking her as if she hadn’t spent the last day and a half sitting in far too intimate conversations with the woman.
Students went back to classes, she led Elena to the various classes she was providing a masterclass in, and things went smoothly for the rest of the day.
Or she thought they did.
She still couldn’t get the idea of you out of her head. She sat at her desk and pictured the last time you had been in her office, sitting atop it and begging her to take your clothes off, your hands tracing over her, tugging at her clothes in a desperate need to have her closer, and oh god that vision. It had only been a second, she had only seen a snippet of whatever it was you were showing her, but good lord was that enough.
The idea of you straddling her, a strap on her hips, grinding into her as you rode her, whimpering and moaning in her ear, aching back as the breath left your body, it had her crossing and uncrossing her legs again and again, desperate to be free of the ache it was giving her.
She could imagine you riding her, she could imagine you doing all sorts of things. She could imagine you bent over this very desk, how pretty you would look with her thrusting into you, how pretty would all the little sounds you could make be. She knew how sensitive you were, she imagined how stunned you might be at her filling you up, or fuck getting to taste you. Oh, how she wanted to taste you. She had cleaned you off of her own fingers, yes, but there were so many things she wanted to do with you, so many ways she wanted to see your incredible mind be reduced to just a whimpering mess of pleasure, to make you finally forget all the worry and pain she knew you carried, she just wanted you, needed to hear you screaming her name.
Hers, she wanted you to be hers, no one else’s, and it burned in her like nothing else she had ever felt. The door knocked, and she looked up, swallowing down whatever thoughts had just been swirling in her mind, blinking away the flush on her cheeks.
“Come in.” She called, her eyes widening as she looked up to the door.
Oh dear god.
Notes:
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Chapter 31: Dancing and the Desk
Summary:
The game you and Larissa settled on escalates, repeatedly, leaving the both of you a mess.
WARNING: Weapons/Sex/G!P/Barely referenced implied former non-consensual sex/Domme&Sub Undertones
Notes:
That poor desk... Ah well! Apologies for the extra week however I hope you all enjoy this almost DOUBLE LENGTH chapter!!! This is absolutely the filthiest thing I've ever written and definitely my first foray into g!p, so please let me know what you think! Hopefully you'll all find the little bits of plot I squeezed in.
Enjoy and let me know your thoughts!
-V
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
The door knocked, and she looked up, swallowing down whatever thoughts had just been swirling in her mind, blinking away the flush on her cheeks.
“Come in.” Larissa called, her eyes widening as she looked up to the door.
Oh dear god.
Why, on earth, was Elianna in her office again. She needed this day to be over, she needed to have you in her arms again, not another bout of chaos. Larissa closed her eyes, rubbing her temples in a tired gesture that had the younger shifter chuckling.
“I was wondering if you wanted to join us, Miss Weems?” She asked the headmistress, the small smirk on her lips leading Larissa to believe this would be nothing but more drama. She glanced to the clock, it was about eight o’clock, after the last rehearsals for the night ended, and she raised a brow at the younger woman.
“Would you care to inform me as to what I would be joining?” She asked tiredly, and Elianna just laughed.
“Our dear scientist promised to help me with something, remember? She’s in the dance studio, I figured you may enjoy seeing whatever it is she comes up with?” The younger woman teased, and Larissa scoffed. It was just dancing, it wasn’t as if it was anything she hadn’t seen you do before. She admonished the woman with a look as she stood from her desk, finishing an email and making her way to the door, following her.
She had seen you dance while working and while that certainly, got to her, it wasn’t as if she couldn’t control herself, this had to be similar, didn’t it?
Oh how wrong she was.
Larissa walked to the dance studio briskly, finding herself uncomfortably flushed and more than a little uncomfortable in the mess she had made of herself. Her clothes felt too tight, her skin felt itchy, she just wanted you, and she wanted you naked, in her bed. Maybe even just in her room fully clothed in that godforsaken dress so she could enjoy taking it off of you. She didn’t care, as long as the two of you were alone and the infernal wetness in her underwear could be relieved.
She followed Elianna, nearly stopping in her tracks as she saw you. You were on the ground, on your elbows, your knees spread as wide as possible as you rolled your hips forward and back, stretching out what she assumed to be your inner thighs and hips, a light hiss leaving you as rolled your neck, your eyes closed as your hair fell about you. You hummed in discomfort as you slowly closed your legs until you were on your arms and knees, this time arching your back and bending forward until you were face down, ass up on the floor in puppy pose, stretching your back.
Shit.
She swallowed, her face instantly flushing as Elianna walked in, turning on some music. You rolled your body forward, enabling yourself to work your way into a slow, slow straddle, and Larissa’s mind immediately thought of so many other positions she could put you in. God, you were flexible, how were you that flexible.
“You know, I hate you shifters for two reasons.” You called to Elianna, your eyes still closed, thinking you two were the only ones in the room.
Larissa swallowed. You were kidding, she knew you were kidding, but she felt her nerves tick regardless.
“Here we go,” sighed Elianna, and you continued to stretch, your eyes still closed.
“Firstly, fuck you, fuck Georgianna, all of you, but Georgianna in particular, and your hair!” You groaned, rolling over onto your back and looking at the woman standing by the music setup, still not realizing there was another in the room. She laughed. “Do you know the effort it takes to do your hair ????” You nearly yelled, and the younger woman just laughed harder. “Georgianna had curly hair. For decades! And never had one bad hair day! Not one!” You yelled, and Elianna devolved into a full on fit of giggles, glancing to who you immediately realized was Larissa, standing at the door, staring holes into your body as you laid on your back, your legs up in the air in a straddle.
Her eyes nearly went black when you finally looked at her, your own rolling as you let your head fall to the ground again, gesturing wildly as you continued your rant, fully unaware of what you warming up was doing to her.
“And you! ” You accused the woman. “Equally perfect, infuriating!” You scoffed, and Larissa swallowed, shaking her head slightly to focus herself.
“I do my hair naturally, you know.” She said cooly, staring down at your very prone body. You hummed, rolling over and walking your legs up, rolling up your spine until you were standing. You walked to the back of the room, placing your hands on the wall behind your head and slowly stretching the arch of your back, inching your hands down the wall as you hummed at the slight discomfort.
“Fine, but the unmitigated gall to shift your hair to perfectly curly every day! I have spent thousands of dollars in hair products, and it STILL looks like I’ve been shagging in the woods half the time!” You groaned, and Elianna laughed.
“To be fair, were you shagging in the woods?” She snickered, and you glared at her, bright pink flowers blooming in your hair as you blushed.
“I was not shagging in the woods RECENTLY !!!” You yelled, and she burst out laughed, only finding it even less possible to control herself once seeing Larissa’s face, which had become wide eyed and roughly the color of those red roses you so loved blooming.
“Oh your face!” She giggled, pointing at Larissa until you finally looked to the other woman, who’s blush had one of your own coming to your cheeks as the thought filled your head.
Oh how gorgeous the pristine woman would look falling apart against a tree, or with flowers tousled in her hair next to a long abandoned picnic. You swallowed as your eyes darkened, Larissa’s brows raising at the more dominant edge your gaze took on, staring at her.
“Right, well- I- and another thing!” You caught yourself, leaving Elianna to burst out laughing as she picked some music. “You never have to stretch!” You yelled, and Elianna just laughed harder. “Not to say that you shouldn’t, you need to stretch because you change your body and it’s very important for you to avoid exhaustion or shifting related injuries,” You interrupted yourself, Elianna rolling her eyes at your need to scold the both of them. “But if you want to appear more flexible, to kick higher, anything, you can just shift slightly and there you go! Bullshit!” You yelled, standing up and bending forward again before slowly easing into a split, Larissa’s jaw dropping as you did.
“You are, mmm, you are very flexible.” She choked, and you bent back, grabbing your leg behind you and looking at the woman, chuckling a bit as you watched her eyes nearly bulge out of her head. You sat up and looked at her through the mirror, aware you couldn’t exactly speak clearly bent that far back, instead waiting until you sat up again.
“The more flexible I am, the easier it is to get out of, mmm, how do I say this…” you muttered, and Elianna looked up from her phone.
“Handcuffs or quite literally getting the shit beat out of you? Or is this about choking someone out while fucking?” She asked you, and your eyes went wide as you whipped your head to her.
“I- you- what?” You yelled, Larissa looking equally as concerned looking, if a bit flustered. “I have never used my body for that?” You asked her incredulously.
“Really?” She asked you, surprised, and you raised your gloved hand slowly, pointing to it as you wiggled your fingers and she nodded, understanding.
“Right, right, that has to be fucking convenient, I had to learn how to choke people.” She said, and you raised a brow. “Well not all of my clients were that well vetted!” She protested, and you sighed deeply, switching to the other split.
“If you’re going to be a hooker, could you please at least be a safe hooker?” You sighed deeply, Larissa just looking back and forth between you two. That comment, however somehow managed to snap her out of her sock.
“This- she- WHAT? ” She yelled, highly concerned, and the both of you just turned her, considerably less worried about this then she felt you should be.
“She knocks people out with flower power, I hit them.” Elianna explained, and Larissa’s gaze whipped back and forth between the two of you.
“ What?” She repeated, and your heart dropped.
Oh.
She had to know, there was no way she didn’t know, you sighed, standing up as you realized.
“I- you- you know I’ve had to- for, well sometimes to get close enough to people for information I-“ you attempted, and she walked towards you, seeing you clearly struggling with the words. She looked worried, very worried, the joking atmosphere that you had held a moment ago disappearing.
You panicked as you realized what she might think.
“I’m clean!” You protested quickly. “I- I don’t have anything, I get tested, and I haven’t in quite a while, but I don’t have anything, blood tests and everything, I swear I-“ you stopped as her hand cupped your face, her eyes locking down on yours as she stepped closer, your breath halting in your throat. Her eyes were son intense it felt as if she was burning you.
“Do you want to kiss me, when you kiss me?” She whispered lowly, and the blush that lit up your face had her eyes darkening.
“I- Yes! Yes, of course yes, I-” You started to panic, your eyes widening as you looked up at her in worry. How could she possibly think you didn’t, sure you had to do things in the past, but it didn’t change the way you felt about her, it didn't even touch it. You took a deep breath, steading yourself. “Yes.” You said again, confidently this time, surely, and she nodded, her hand sliding over your cheek to pull you closer, you parted your lips, unsure of what she wanted from you, you would kiss her, hell you would throw Elianna out of the room right now and get on your knees if you had to, you just wanted her to know that-
You gasped as she pulled you into a tight embrace. She held you close, steady as her arms wrapped around you tighter, her lips settling next to your ear as she spoke to you. You could have cried.
“I trust you, Ophelia, and I- I worry, and yes it- it makes me a little apprehensive, if only because I never want you to feel that way with me, but I trust you darling, I know you wouldn’t run the risk of harming me.” She whispered in your ear, and you swayed on your feet, slightly unsteady.
“You’re nothing like them.” You rasped, your own arms wrapping around her, she could feel your need to convince her in your grip, it broke her heart as you nearly shook with conviction. “Nothing like them.” You swallowed, and her hands pulled you tighter at the small of your back, the action surprising you when it shot straight to your core.
Your breath hitched, your mind falling back into a vision, not quite aware you were taking Larissa with you but not stopping it by any means. She gasped as she saw herself, face up on her bed, her legs wrapped around your hips as her hands desperately clutched the sheets. “I- hah! Harder, please, more, I-” Her words devolved into helpless babble as you thrust into her, leaning down and whispering in her ear as you pushed the strap deep, deep inside her, making her whine as her hands immediately went to your shoulders.
“That’s it darling, that’s it,” You breathed, the woman nearly sobbing as she bucked up into you, her nails digging into your skin as she rolled her hips.
“C-close, so close Ophelia so-” You gasped as you pulled away, putting some distance between you and the woman as you panted, your face a bright, rose red as Larissa herself turned an even deeper shade. Elianna laughed, apparently used to this having experienced you in your early twenties, staring at you both.
“Dear god, what did you see?” She cackled, and you glared at the younger woman. “Oh, so you were fucking!” She yelled and the way you rounded on her had her reeling. The sneer that crossed your face was harsh, your eyes widening in a touch of the madness the younger woman knew you to possess. Her breath stuck in her throat, that she didn’t expect.
“Easy, easy, I’m sorry!” She said quickly, backing up as her hands raised in surrender. You shook your head for a moment, taking a deep breath, what on earth was that?
“I- I’m sorry, I-“ you stuttered, quickly adjusting your gloves as you realized you had crossed the room in half of a second, your hands pricking with energy. Elianna looked at you, startled.
“You’ve never done that before.” She breathed, and you shook your head, looking at Larissa in shock, the woman still reeling from the vision and your immediate urge to push her behind you. You had covered her, she realized, covered her before you stepped forward to Elianna. So this is what it felt like, to be protected by the fierce urge you had within you to guard those you cared for.
“No, I, not for- not like that.” You swallowed, and the younger woman nodded, seemingly understanding something she hadn’t before.
You really loved her.
“It- can we really, is there a chance for us? I never thought that you- and certainly not me, I mean I’m not particularly ashamed of what I did, I chose it but I knew that… wow. ” She breathed, you took a heavy breath in, glancing from the younger woman to Larissa a few times before it dawned on you. The younger woman was asking you about love. It broke your heart for her and shocked you at the same time. Sometimes they would ask Jenkins, he had a wife once, but not you, certainly never you. You had never had anyone, other than your visions of Larissa of course… you had Larissa.
You nodded shakily, another few breaths leaving you before an uncertain smile.
“I- I’m trying.” You said softly, lowering your voice so Elianna alone could hear you. She smiled back as best she could, nodding too.
“You, you’re something special, Miss Weems.” The woman said, looking over your shoulder. Larissa raised a brow, striding over to you and tentatively bracing a hand on your back. You swallowed, leaning back into her hand slightly, her fingers splaying a bit, giving you a better feeling of her being there. You looked up over your shoulder at her, smiling softly, and she sucked a breath in at how much love she saw in your eyes.
“I- I’m not really anything extraordinary.” She swallowed, staring into the swirling grey below her. Your smile twisted down at the corners for just a moment before you spoke.
“You are, mon amour, but we will address that later.” You sighed, turning to Elianna.
“Now what is it you want to work on Elianna?” You asked, and she glanced to Larissa before smirking at you.
“Oh god.” You sighed, recognizing the look. The young woman smirked, taking Larissa by the arm and sitting her at the stool next to the music system.
“Now your job is to press start and pause when I ask you, or when she does, but good luck learning how to read her cues,” she giggled, and you glared at the younger woman, narrowing your eyes slightly. “Fine.” Elianna shot you a look before looking back at the elder shifter. “Would you please do the music for us so I can focus on what she tells me?” She asked, and Larissa raised her brows.
“And why should I?” She smirked ever so slightly at the younger woman, amused at her attempts to get her involved for some reason. “Mostly so you can watch her, but also I make better tea than the American born.” She smirked back, and you sighed at the two of them, shaking your head.
“I am perfectly capable of controlling the music myself, Elianna.” You reminded her, and the younger woman sighed.
“Ah, but where is the fun in that?” She asked, pressing play on her phone before handing it to Larissa, who sat there mildly amused at her antics. She was spunky, she would give her that.
To your surprise Rihanna started playing, and you scoffed.
“Really?” You asked her, and she shrugged.
“Just to warm up.” She replied with a smirk, and you sighed deeply, nodding to the ground next to you as you straightened up, looking at yourself in the mirror. Larissa felt her eyes rove over you then, taking in everything you wore.
The sports bra you were wearing clung to you like a second skin, the high neck zipped up all the way despite the lack of sleeves. You wore an emerald green mesh off the shoulder top of some kind, equally tight to your skin as it covered your arms and torso the bra did not. You wore leggings as well, the same black as your bra and equally leaving nothing to the imagination, with heels on, only these she could recognize as specifically made for dance.
You rolled your head forward, Elianna mimicking the movement as she watched you in the mirror, repeating the movement to the other side before moving on. Larissa watched your arms rising up above your head as you circled your ribs, then your hips, loosening up slightly before looking at the younger woman.
“Do you remember it?” you asked her, and she tilted her head.
“More or less.” She smirked, and you scoffed, looking at yourself in the mirror and sighing.
“Fine, from the top then.” You nodded to Larissa, and Elianna took a step back as the woman restarted the song, the both of them watching you with very different intentions.
‘I want you to love me, like I’m a hot ride’
The song began, and you slid your left leg out and to the side, sitting in your right hip and pointing your left toe to the ground, Larissa swallowing as you popped your hip. On the word ‘hot’ you wrapped your arms around yourself, your head whipping to the side and your hair flying before you looked back in the mirror on the next word, your arms dragging across your body. Fuck.
‘Be thinking of me, doing what you like’
You sauntered forward a few steps before dragging your right leg on the floor, spinning yourself around facing the back as you began to step sideways in a rocking sort of motion, almost as if you were doing half of a salsa step only to the side and dragging your hands across your chest and out to the next lines, your head looking to the right as you swung your hips when your feet came together.
‘So boy forget about the world, cause it’s gon’ be me and you tonight
I’m gonna make you beg for it, then imma make you swallow your pride’
You whirled around to the right again in a skater turn your arms dragging up your body and raising up above your head as Elianna whooped, you rolled your eyes as you continued the turn to the side of the room, bending back as you swooped your arms in front and back of you, your back foot coming up to your knee as you jumped before stepping out on the final word. You glanced back at Elianna again, who was beaming as you chuckled a little bit, internally lamenting that you were not as young as you once were.
‘Want you to make me feel’
You hit the final three words, throwing your hips to the side and back as you bent forward, your back completely flat and your arms straight in front of you, one hand over the other before you flipped around, looking over your shoulder in the next pose before tilting to the side and kicking, your upper body going parallel to the ground as your leg whipped up, leaving you in a straddle in the air, your body almost looking like a bow, your arms extending with your hands holding onto each other to form the arrow.
Larissa lost the ability to breathe, she felt herself flush, her thighs squeezing together as she imagined bending you into that position, holding you there as her fingers, or better yet she drove into you.
You felt the slight strain in your hips at the pose, pointing your toes as your leg came down, turning you back towards the mirror as you continued.
‘Like i'm the only girl in the world’
You bent backwards slowly this time, easing into the position after the quick moves before. The second you had moved quickly you fell back into the slow transitions you preferred, rolling you body sensually to the music as you slowly sunk down, bending your knees forward, keeping your weight on your feet and back straight as you ran your hands down your thighs, opening one knee at a time and facing the mirror as you moved forward onto your knees. You were on your knees ! How was she to cope with that! She felt a strand of hair tickle the back of her neck, shuddering as she realized her hair was likely frizzing slightly from the sheer heat rolling off of her.
‘Like i’m the only one that you’ll ever love’
You crawled forward, your eyes locking on your own in the mirror as you reached your arms forward on the floor, rolling on your side and then back on the floor.
‘Like I’m the only one who knows your heart’
You arched up, bringing your chest and knees up slightly before laying back down flat.
‘Only girl in the world’
You kicked your legs straight up, twisting one over and rolling yourself back to your knees, your eyes piercing as you stared yourself down in the mirror, Larissa fully loosing herself to them.
‘Like i’m the only one that’s in command’
You rolled your head forward, your hips working with it as you swung them in almost a grinding motion.
‘Cause i’m the only one who understands’
You crawled forward again, making Larissa’s throat go dry as you popped your legs up still spread apart, your hands still on the ground in a wide second position.
‘How to make you feel like a man’
You arched your back up, your hands tracing your body again as you turned just your head over your shoulder, looking straight at her.
She felt herself freeze on the spot, her heart pounding as you panted slightly, staring at her with your legs spread, your hands still groping your own body as you stared at her, your eyes dark and your hair slightly mussed. She couldn’t even hear the music anymore, all she could do was stare back at you, her mind racing with all the things that body could do to her. “-rissa” She heard somewhere, and she blinked rapidly, shaking her head and turning red once again as Elianna giggled at her, gesturing to the phone.
She paused the music immediately, finding herself sweating in her own clothes, despite the fact that all she had done was sit there, watching your body move. Good god, how did your body move like that?
“Satisfied?” You called to Elianna, who’s smile just grew wider.
“Ok, ok I want to try!” She yelled, bounding over to you and reminding you how young she once was, how young you both were really. You shook your head a bit, your eyes trailing over to Larissa, who stopped you in your tracks.
She was clearly agitated, her hair seemingly ever so slightly less neat and her red lipstick slightly smeared from being bitten. Her cheeks were flushed, her chest moving a bit quicker as she breathed heavily.
You could see the tension in her legs from where she crossed them, god those long legs might very well be the death of you, and you let your eyes trail up slowly to hers. There was sheer lust in her gaze, and you felt the feeling bloom further in you. You felt yourself swallow, and then heaven help her you smirked. You turned back to Elianna, lifting a singular brow.
“You have zero intention of learning that, do you?” You asked her, and she laughed.
“Oh I already know it, I just wanted to see you do it again!” She smiled, joining you on the floor before asking Larissa to start the music again. She did, this time the both of you dancing in unison, however Larissa felt her gaze never leaving you. Your hands would drag over your skin, always just barely tracing your body, never harsh and rough. Your movements seemed to flow, or float, somehow always leading into the next. You were sexual, sure, and when you got down on your knees again, spreading your legs, she thought she may very well need to excuse herself then and there, but even then, you never crossed the line into graphic.
You smirked when you locked eyes with her in the mirror, the woman swallowing down the flush that came with the intensity of your gaze. You completed the routine with Elianna this time, before stepping back and having her run it again.
“Well done, but keep your head up, your eyes tell them where to look, use them.” You instructed gently, going over specific moments and the head movements required. “Is there a specific reason for this or did you just want to dance?” You asked her, and she tilted her head, humming. You remembered when you used to spend hours with her and the other girls at the hospital dancing, normally not this sexually, but sometimes, with the older ones. It helped them claim their bodies back again, hell it helped you.
“I did want to dance, but I could use your help with something.” She said, and you tilted your head at her in silent questioning. “There’s a partnering section in what I’m working on, and I remember you dancing, I often use it as inspiration, but it’s been a while, I was hoping, maybe, I mean if you wouldn’t mind, I’d love to see it again…” She trailed, and she swallowed, nerves finding their way into you.
“I- I can’t touch you.” You admitted softly, and Elianna’s face fell despite your attempt at a smile before you glanced away. You didn’t touch anyone, well, hardly, but certainly not her, not after the other night. She nodded in embarrassment, taking her phone and typing away as she spoke.
“Do you still? With anyone?” She asked you, and you glanced briefly to Larissa. You would dance with her, if she asked you to. If she even liked to dance. You knew she did attend her senior Rave’n, but you had never heard of her dancing from your sister, then again the type of dance you normally did was far different.
You danced in two ways now, you would occasionally dance with the children, sometimes even teaching the older ones combinations like the one you showed Elianna years ago and again now, or you danced with Jenkins. You danced with Jenkins for a few reasons, you would after funerals, or occasionally even simply because you wanted to, but more often than not when you danced with Jenkins you were undercover. The two of you had played a couple more times than you could count, and had acted various levels of intimacy. The man was like family to you, so it hardly bothered you anymore, but truly that was the only time you could think of where your dancing became somewhat sexual.
“Ophelia?” She called your name, and you swallowed, nodding as you snapped out of memories of dancing with the man, some terrible, and some of the best nights of your life.
“I do, yes, with Jenkins, but we haven’t had to in a while.” You said gently, and she frowned a bit, tapping in her phone before turning and scrolling through music. “I’m sorry I-“
You were cut off as a pop rang through the dance studio, the sound of teleportation, you realized. You were on Larissa in less than a second, pressing her behind you as you whipped around, about to tear off your gloves before you saw Jenkins staring at you with murder in his eyes, a rifle leveled at you as you had been the first thing to move.
You panted harshly in anticipation as you looked at the man, Sugar behind him with her own gun leveled at Elianna. Your eyes went wide, fear fading into extreme concern.
“ Yes?!?!” You nearly screamed, and he stared down at you.
“What?” He gruffed, and you raised your brows.
“ You're the one with the gun, what do you mean ‘what’ you are AIMING a firearm at me?” You yelled, and his glare became somewhat confused.
“I- you texted me ‘emergency’?” He raised a brow. Your eyes widened.
“And your first instinct was high-power firearms?” You squeaked, and he just stared at you as if you had grown another head.
“If you say ‘emergency’ then yes, I’m coming in guns blazing!” He said as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. You sighed, taking Larissa’s hand behind you, realizing the woman was shaking.
“Well everything is fine, could we put the guns away please?” You hissed, and he narrowed his eyes at you before he did so.
Larissa almost laughed.
“This, this is how I end up getting fired, of all things,” Larissa muttered, and you turned to her, your brows furrowing in concern.
“Are you alright?” You asked softly, well aware that this was the second time now someone on your team had pointed a gun in her direction. You wanted to apologize, pull her into you and hide her away with you until she never felt upset again.
“Am I- NO I AM NOT ALRIGHT!” She yelled, and you flinched, her mind not even processing it as her heart raced. “This is a school, and I have been dealing with you and how goddamn incredible you look for the ENTIRE day! And now there are guns in MY school and I simply cannot be this distracted or I will certainly no longer be able to function like a normal human being!” She rounded on you, her eyes wide and slightly crazed. Your own went wide as you looked up at her, noticing the slight part of her lips, the flush to her cheeks.
You flushed, red flowers blooming atop the crown of your head. She glanced up, to your hair, and you swallowed as you realized what you must have done.
“Damnit,” she hissed, pulling away as she looked at the others in the room, suddenly very aware of what she had just said. The urge to just pull you away and lock you both in her bedroom until morning light returning in full force.
“I’m very sorry, ma’am.” Jenkins gruffed, seemingly waiting for you to regain the power of speech. You simply continued staring at her, not quite sure how to process the information. Of course people had wanted you before. You had made them want you before, but her wanting you was very different.
“I want to use this time to make it clear that I specifically said dance emergency.” Elianna said from the side of the studio, somewhere between guilty and amused. She realized her mistake immediately though, as both you and Jenkins rounded on her, the cocoughany of silence enough to make the woman go pale.
“Now, I- I didn’t know he would come in all guns blazing I-“
“Holy feck she’s a feckin idiot.” Jenkins sighed, letting the assault weapon he was holding hang by the strap as he let it down. You, on the other hand, were livid.
“Elianna!” You nearly screamed, and she looked at you. She had seen you this angry once, but this kind of wild anger, this she wasn’t sure how to respond to. “Do you realize the danger that could have caused!” You yelled, and she swallowed. “Summoning a fucking- a Jenkins?” You looked like you wanted to choke the younger woman, but you clearly weren’t actually going to harm her.
“An’ rule two.” Jenkins supplied, and you gestured to him.
“And rule two!” You repeated, far more exasperated than the man. Larissa almost laughed at how the two of you essentially parented the woman who was barely a decade younger.
“Yes, well to be fair, the message did say dance. ” She clarified, and you pinched your temples slowly.
“Oh dear lord give me strength, and you!” You whirled around to Jenkins. “Reading? Perhaps? And you knew you were coming here, so maybe not beginning with firearms?” You squawked, and he shrugged.
“The safety was on.” He playcated, and you glared at him before looking over his shoulder at Sugar.
“You're smarter than this.” You reprimanded, and she nodded a bit.
“Yeah, that’s fair.” She shrugged, and you sighed deeply, pinching the bridge of your nose. Larissa just wanted to hug you again, her heart still pounding although the fear had faded.
She really did need to talk to you about weapons in her school.
“Why is it, that us dancing only happens after or before impending death?” You asked in exhaustion, and the man perked up.
“We’re dancing?” He asked you, and you stared blankly at the wall, something between amazement at the idiots you loved and defeat on your face. Larissa just stared at the lot of you, still mildly horrified.
“Could we at least put the guns away?” She hissed, and Jenkins shot a look to you before rolling his eyes and doing so. He stared at Elianna, glaring for a moment before a slight smile found its way onto his face.
“Glad to know yer alive, thanks for the letters.” He said sarcastically and she cringed.
“Mmm, guilt?” She shrugged, and he nodded his head side to side.
“Fair ‘nuff.” He nodded, far too calm and casual for the situation, and you looked between the two for a moment. You never understood how he did that.
Jenkins looked to you expectantly. You narrowed your eyes, daring him to test you. He walked up to you slowly, his eyes glancing to Larissa first.
“Tippi,” he nodded, and you furrowed your brows.
“Tippi, who’s- oh,” you realized, turning around slightly and looking at the woman over your shoulder. She raised a brow at the scruff of a man, evaluating the nickname for a moment, glancing down at her hitchcock heroine-esque attire before looking at you.
You were beaming.
You took her breath away with how much sheer joy was lighting up your face.
“He likes you.” You said softly, looking up at her with a grin that had her heart thundering all over again. Jenkins only gave nicknames to those he knew would be sticking around, as he put it. He thought she would stay, and he approved of the idea, it seemed.
Larissa hummed, smiling softly and reaching up to your hair, you taking a shaking breath as her fingers ghosted over the flowers in it, watching as they miraculously changed from red rosettes to white.
You shivered as she touched them, swallowing and ducking your head as you pulled away slightly, putting some distance between the two of you as your face turned redder than she had ever seen, your body trembling.
Jenkins burst out laughing, having to bend over to rest his hands on his knees as you glared at the floor, your ears ringing with how flustered you were.
“Ye know she can feckin’ feel that, right?” He cackled, and Larissa’s eyes widened as she realized what she had done. She went to apologize, however the cackling of the scotsman was far too loud.
You crossed your arms, storming over to the music setup and going through things. You were pissed, flustered and pissed, and everyone but Larissa knew exactly what that could mean.
“Oh this is gonna be fuckin awesome!” Sugar yelped, practically stealing the various tactical gear Jenkins was wearing before grabbing Larissa, pulling her to the back of the studio and the seats there.
Larissa felt herself blush, her mouth going dry as she was suddenly very aware that yes, apparently you could feel that, and apparently you were very reactive to that.
“Like Rio?” he asked you, and you rolled your eyes.
“Not helpful, it’s for her shows, she’s English.” You sighed, glaring at her, and he nodded side to side.
“Berlin?” He asked you, and your eyes went wide, turning to him as if he had just suggested jumping off a cliff with no bungee. “Berlin- over my dead body will I dance like I danced in Berlin in front of them!” You yelled, and he chuckled, reaching out a hand to you.
“New York?” He asked, and you sighed, narrowing your eyes at him but turning slightly, looking to Elianna. She was humming, looking through songs to pick.
“What did ye make ‘er dance to?” He asked the woman, and she played a bit of the Riannah song, making him scoff. “Oh no wonder she’s feckin annoyed, you made ‘er dance ‘gainst ‘er instincts.” He laughed, and Elianna furrowed her brows. “She can dance slutty, but she’s far better at sultry, seductive, sexy, like that.” He laughed, and you rolled your eyes at him. Larissa glared daggers at the man.
“Well then, what do you suggest?” You asked calmly, and Larissa could feel herself heat up further. Sure, you dancing on your own was, quite something to watch, but you partnering? With the only person you allowed to touch you? Other than her, of course. But you had known Jenkins for years, you would let him dance with you, hold you, would you let her? Would you let her sweep you off your feet, lean back into her arms, wrap them around yourself and- damnit she couldn’t focus. She crossed her legs harshly, her eyes sharply watching the two of you size each other up.
She wanted you to look at her like that, like you couldn’t decide what to do with her, but your mind worked so quickly she knew she’d love whatever you chose. Jenkins walked over to the music stand, taking the phone and queuing something before handing the phone to Elianna, who raised her brows. Sugar peaked over, nearly cackling in excitement before she looked up at Larissa, sitting next to her.
“If you think yer’ blushin now, you ain’t got no idea.” She giggled, and Larissa felt herself swallow as somehow her clothing felt even more restricting. Jenkins walked up to you, and you raised a brow.
“Do you really have time for this?” You asked him, and he smirked a bit.
“Maybe I jes miss ya, Rosie .” He teased, and your eyes narrowed as the music began. A big brass band began to play, and you smirked a bit, offering him your hand as he kissed it, then higher, up your wrist, up your forearm, going as far as the top of your elbow before he stepped back and pulled slightly. You spun into him, allowing yourself to twist, turn, and fall, right before he caught you, his arm under the small of your back as you arched a few inches off the floor.
Larissa felt her hands squeeze her thigh.
“Sloppy.” You teased as he chuckled, pulling you up as the song began in earnest.
‘When marimba rhythms start to play, dance with me, make me sway’
Crooned over the speakers, and Larissa’s breath caught as he led you flawlessly, his hands firmly pressing you wherever he wanted, twisting you into this position and that as you flicked and moved around him, almost as if floating on air.
You turned, your back towards him as he wrapped one arm around your waist, both of your hips moving in tandem, back and forth, in and out as you stepped together, his hand running down your arm and leading it in front of you both. You looked to your hands as he led you both forward, a small smile playing on your lips at the fun you still had dancing with him.
‘Like the lazy ocean hugs the shore, hold me close, sway me more’
He dipped you in a wide circle, your hair dragging along the floor as you tilted your head back, Larissa’s heart nearly stopping as you were whirled around towards her before being pulled up, righting yourself and wrapping one of your legs around the man’s hips, making her clench her jaw. She knew it was unreasonable, she knew you didn’t see him that way. She knew that you didn’t even like men, hell, the man was closer to an uncle to you than anything else, but she wanted you like that, she wanted to dance with you, to hold you, to lay you out like that. She wanted to feel your leg wrapped around her hip as you stared into her eyes.
‘Like a flower bending in the breeze, bend with me, sway with ease’
The recording continued, and he whirled you around, flipping you chest to chest or your back pressed against him every few beats. It was beautiful, you were incredible, and clearly the two of you had been dancing together for years, yet there was a way the both of you commanded the room that took her breath away.
‘When you dance you have a way with me, stay with me, sway with me’
You spun away from him, your hand still in his as you flicked your foot back, beginning to pull him towards you as you continued.
You led him across the floor, your own body leaning back slightly as you tilted your head down, your eyes dark, a smirk on your face as you drug him slowly. Sugar let out a whistle as you carried on, spinning him this time and making the man chuckle.
‘Other dancers may be on the floor’
The song began to build, and you moved behind him, dragging your hand up his arm, before he pulled you again, wrapping you into him. He was holding you so close, and Larissa was desperate to pull you out of his arms and into hers.
‘Dear, but my eyes will see only you’
You went further, his hands dragging up your thigh, to your waist. Larissa felt herself ache to mimic the movements, to feel your body like that against her. She didn’t care what you were doing, if she could never dance like that, she just wanted- no needed to touch you. She needed to rip those damn clothes off and just touch, kiss, feel everything!
‘Only you have that magic technique’
And he took one of your hands up, having you pirouette between his arms.
‘ When we sway I go weak!’
The final word was crooned and he stepped back, pulling you back with him, forcing you to bend your lower leg as you kicked your right one, nearly hitting the side of your head with how high you could go. Larissa’s jaw dropped, her eyes widening as it reached the top of the kick, only for Jenkins to catch, your fucking, leg. She felt a flash of desire as you laid back against his chest, head resting on his shoulder as he held you there, his arms under yours, one wrapped around your leg holding it up as he stepped back, dragging you in a reverse split across the floor. You groaned, your head falling back a bit as you felt the stretch.
“I’m not fucking twenty anymore” You glared at the man, who laughed and let it down as the two of you continued. Larissa could feel her heart pounding, her blood rushing in her ears. She clenched her jaw shut as it went on, and on, and on. He dipped you, and flipped you, he put you up and bent you back over his goddamn shoulder at one point and she could see the heaving of your chest, the flush on your cheeks as you danced. The longer the dance went on the further you both went with each other, the tension was palpable, she knew it was just a dance, it had to be just a dance, right?
At the final close of the song he dipped you again, your eyes falling closed as you let your back arch fully. You wrapped a leg around his hip again, securing yourself as you stretched your arms above your head, your back bending in a way that had to be sinful.
Larissa felt herself become uncomfortably, no insanely wet at watching you in the impossible position, and the idea of all the ways she could put you into it.
You were bent towards her, panting, and when you opened your eyes again and saw the look on her face you nearly fell, Jenkins having to catch you as you lost your balance. He looked at you in concern for a moment, eyeing you over as you attempted to pull yourself together, Oh good lord, she couldn’t look at you like that. She couldn’t look at you like that and expect you not to want to pin her to the nearest wall.
“Ye alright?” He asked you, also somewhat out of breath, and you rolled your shoulders, nodding as you didn’t trust your voice quite yet. “Ye look like ye- oh. ” He realized as he looked up at Larissa, who was somewhere between about to rip your clothes off and glaring at you as you stared anywhere else.
“Was that acceptable, Elianna?” You sighed, and the woman nodded wide eyed, still a little in awe. Sugar walloped, nudging Larissa with her shoulder as she hopped up, startling the woman.
“They’re somethin’ aren’t they! I always love watchin ‘em.” She laughed, walking over to you and winking before gathering up the gear.
“Well, now that i’ve been sufficiently manhandled may I shower and end this day?” You asked the lot of them, who smiled and laughed a little. Elianna lit up with excitement, shoo-ing you as she began to come up with her own choreography, seemingly sufficiently inspired. Sugar gave her farewell to Larissa, who did her very best to mask the various ideas running through her head, all of which involved you in various states of undress, as Jenkins spoke to you.
“I know it’s not safe to see ye, that ye could be tracked but…” he trailed, and you nodded, understanding.
“I miss you too.” You said quietly, leaning up and hugging the man, the performance fading from the both of you, and any faux attraction with it. He smiled, leaning down to whisper something to you.
“Think ye got Tippy worked up with tha’ little show?” He teased, and you yelped, slapping him on the shoulder as he walked up to the Sugar and the aforementioned style icon. “Well it was lovely seein’ ye ma’am, but I ‘ave rugrats to get back to, so I suppose I’ll be seein’ ye.” He said, taking Larissa’s hand warmly before walking to Sugar, looping his arm in hers and giving her a nod.
“A pleasure, Miss Weems!” Sugar yelled, and Jenkins gave you a teasing look before calling out to Larissa again.
“See ya soon Tippi!” He yelled, laughing at your admonishing face before Sugar teleported them both, leaving you standing in the dance studio with a very distracted Elianna and a very warm Miss Weems. She stepped in front of you, swallowing as her eyes burned up and down your body. You did look absolutely gorgeous. The dress had given her hints of your shape, a plush version, but this, the tight, stretchy clothing you wore to dance, left little to the imagination, even if most of your skin was covered.
“Tippi?” She swallowed, and you nodded, somehow breathless all over again at the way she was looking at you. You flushed.
“Hedren, he- he likes old movies, and you are, you’re stunning.” You almost panted, and she inhaled sharply, feeling your own eyes graze over her. She shuddered, and you smirked, even if the expression was not the most controlled. You turned your head, looking to Elianna who was choreographing something.
“Are you alright for the evening then?” You called, and she nodded and waved you off. You chuckled at the artist and her ability to go off in her own little world. You turned back to Larissa, gently brushing her hand with yours as you walked by, heading towards the door. The woman gasped as she saw another vision, just a glimpse. This time she didn’t just see it, she felt your hands running over her skin, your eyes on hers in- fuck you had her bent over her washroom counter, your eyes on hers in the mirror, she was- was watching herself, the way her face contorted in pleasure, and heaven help her she felt your fingers teasing her, about to-
It ended just as fast as it came on, leaving the woman nearly gasping for air as she stormed out of the studio, following you. Quite frankly she didn’t care where you were going, but the closest place would be her office. Yes, her office would be perfect.
You shuddered as you felt the taller woman walk up behind you, her hand resting on your lower back as she gently pulled you along. You looked up at her, swallowing as you saw the look on her face. She looked like she was fraying at the edges, just desperate, and it took everything in you not to slam her into the wall right there.
She escorted you to her office, it was the closest place the two of you could be alone, it was well after hours, and frankly she didn’t have the patience for the multiple minutes it would take to get you to her rooms. She ushered you in, turning briskly and locking the door, bracing her hands against it as she attempted to breathe for a moment.
She just needed a moment.
She felt her hands shake, looking up to see the color of her nails fluctuating slightly. You wouldn’t notice, well, most wouldn’t, you might. She needed to get a handle on herself before she ripped your clothes off, the last thing she wanted to do was scare you or… remind you of something else.
Touch was hard for you, she knew that, touch would always be difficult, she just needed to calm herself down enough so that she could take her time, make sure you didn’t get spooked.
She panted against the door, slowly turning to find you sitting on her desk, your legs crossed and your head tilted. Your blackened knuckles were almost grey around it, your lipstick a bit smudged, your eyes wide as you looked at her.
“Are you alright?” You asked her, and she nodded slowly, stepping towards you. Your eyes went wide. “I- I went too far, I’m sorry.” You apologized immediately at her silence, terrified you overstepped.
“Ophelia,” She whispered, her breath almost coming out in pants.
“Yes?” You asked her, and her eyes fell to your lips. She couldn’t do it anymore, fuck this game you two were playing, she saw you sitting on her desk like a gift just for her to unwrap and it broke her. When you finally weren’t even trying anymore, she couldn’t handle it.
“I- I need- fuck it, you win.” She hissed, her hands landing on either side of your body as she leant down over you, her forehead resting on your shoulder. She was panting, squeezing her thighs together, her clothes felt far too tight, like far too much on her skin. She could feel the wetness in her nylons, driving her mad.
You felt your heart pound in your ears as the heat radiating off her body seeped into your skin, your hands resting over hers on either side of you, your fingers slowly tracing patterns over her wrists, up her arms, to the three quarter length sleeves she was wearing, hitting just below her elbows.
“Darling,” You whispered, and she shuddered, turning her head into your neck, her lips ghosting over your skin.
“I never know how far I can go, and I need- I need you, please Ophelia, I need you.” She whispered against your skin, and you moaned. You grabbed her by the back of her head, winding your hands into her hair and lifting her up to your lips.
“You aren’t anyone else, Larissa, you can go as far as you want, I would stop you if I needed to.” You husked, your eyes dark as you looked up to her. “I trust you.” You whispered against her.
Her lips were on yours in a moment, crashing into you with waves of searing heat, your other hand reaching for her hip. You spread your legs, pulling her between them as she groaned, your legs wrapping around her. She pulled away, making you gasp as she wrapped her arms around you, letting your hair down from where you had pulled it up to dance.
“All fucking day.” She hissed, kissing at your neck, her lips nipping at you. “And him .” She bit, and you moaned, your hands slipping in between you both to pull at her jacket, nearly ripping it off her arms. She let you, only taking her hands away from you for a moment to let it fall before they were back on you. “Did you plan that?” She hissed, and you felt your core throb at her jealousy. God, how good it looked on her. You knew dancing with him would put her over the edge, you knew she would hate it, and you groaned as her hands moved over you, desperate to have her, to claim you.
“N-no, I- oh fuck ,” You hissed as she bit down on your neck, shocking you. She had never been anything but gentle with you, tender, and this new passion lit a fire in you. “I didn’t, didn’t stop him, I knew you wouldn’t- Ah- Larissa, wouldn’t like it!” You gasped, shuddering as she sucked on your pulsepoint, your head getting dizzy with the sensation.
You grabbed her by the hair again, pulling her back to make her look in your eyes. Her pupils were blown, her lipstick smeared, her skin flushed and her perfect hair falling out of place. She had never looked better to you.
“But you didn’t get like this until I showed you something else, hmm?” You panted, and she swallowed, her cheeks flushing darker. “Do you like when I show you things, Larissa?” You asked her, your voice dropping lower as you leaned up, your lips getting closer and closer to her.
She knew you were teasing her, part of her hated being teased, she had been teased before, many times, but something about you doing it had her pressing her legs together, heat building between them.
“I- Yes,” She breathed, and the smile you gave her was wicked.
“Would you like to see more?” You asked her, and she nodded, her eyes rolling back at the idea. Fuck, she wanted to see you do everything to her, she wanted to feel you do everything to her, she wanted it all. “Tell me,” you whispered against her, and you could feel the woman’s hands shake.
“I- I want you to show me what you want to do to me,” she whispered, barely more than a shaky exhale. You felt yourself take a deep breath, the air between you impossibly warm.
“If you want me to stop, what do you say?” You asked her, and she blinked at you. “I- I want to show you things, want to try things with you, but I need, need you safe.” You whispered. She nodded, realizing what you were getting at.
“Red to stop, yellow to slow, green if I’m alright.” She swallowed, and you smirked. Kinky girl.
“Oh good girl, look at you.” You smiled, and she leaned in closer.
“I trust you, Ophelia, I know you’ll stop if I need- and you know you can ask me to, at any time, alright?” She whispered, her hand delicately brushing a strand of hair behind your ear. You nodded, your face flushing further. “I want you,” she whispered, and you felt her words shoot straight to your core, and your lips were on hers in a second, passing a vision in a way she didn’t even know you could.
She gasped, feeling herself blindfolded, your fingers teasing her, just to the edge, she saw herself on her knees, begging for more. She felt herself ride your face, your tongue like nothing she had ever felt on her cunt. But oh, the last one, she saw herself bent over her desk, your fingers buried in her, your teeth nipping at the back of her neck. She gasped as you pulled your lips back, bringing her back to the land of the living.
“That, I want that,” she husked against you, and you raised your brows.
“Larissa, are you-“
“For God’s sake woman, just fuck me!” She hissed, and you hummed, a dark chuckle leaving your throat. She shuddered at the thought of what she had just unleashed. You pushed her back, flipping the two of you around until she was on the desk, gasping as your hands kneaded into the flesh of her ass, pulling her further against you.
“As you wish.” You hummed, and she shuddered. She wrapped her legs around you, pulling you closer so she could grind her hips up against your waist, sending shudders through her body at finally just the barest bit of contact. “Oh good girl,” you hummed, and her eyes nearly rolled back in her head, it had been so long since you had called her that, so long since she had felt the heady rush that came with it. She moaned as your hands gripped onto her hips, pulling her forward suddenly, making her fall back onto her elbows behind her. She let out a startled gasp, and you let your hands fall to her thighs, dragging your nails down her tights and making her shudder.
“Please, please I can’t wait anymore,” She whimpered, and you leaned forward, kissing at her neck as she grabbed your hair, pulling you harder into her.
“I’ve got you, no more waiting,” You hissed, unbuttoning her shirt and pushing it off her shoulders as your lips trailed down her neck, over her collarbone, your lips sucking at the tops of her breasts, making the woman press herself up on her elbows, pushing up into you. She wore cream colored silk today, playing off her skin beautifully as you teased the edges of the cups of her bra. The flush she gave in contrast to the cool fabric had you groaning.
Your hands grasped over her thighs and she squeezed them around your hips, panting as you brought your hand up the inside of her thighs, her eyes locking onto yours suddenly and fuck. She looked absolutely wrecked, her pupils blown as she looked at you as if she may just die if you didn’t finally touch her where she needed you. You finally brought your hand between her legs, moaning at just the heat radiating from her. She rolled her hips up into you almost instantly, seeking relief from the tension she had been dealing with all day.
Her nylons were soaked, she had gone through her underwear and them, the damp fabric having been itching her all day. She needed them off, and she needed them off now!
“Oh look at you, fucking gorgeous,” You whispered, and she furrowed her brows, nodding in desperation, her lips falling apart as she panted, looking up at you. She tilted her chin down slightly, looking up at you through her lashes with what you determined to be the most affective ‘fuck me eyes’ you had ever seen.
“‘Phelia,” she breathed, and your lips were on hers the second you wrapped the center of her tights in your hand, ripping them and pushing her underwear aside, meeting the wetness there.
“Fuck,” She hissed, you had ripped them, good lord she shouldn’t find that as attractive as she did. You started circling her clit, her hips bucking up involuntarily to meet your hand, she just wanted it so bad. She needed you, she needed relief, she was wound tighter than she had ever been in her life.
“Please, I just need to come, please I need it, please,” She whined, and you nodded against her lips, kissing her harshly, desperate to give her what she needed. You dropped your lips to her neck, sucking a mark there, making the woman gasp. You had never- no one had ever marked her, you were making her yours. Her head swam with the feeling of it. So this is what it felt like to be yours.
“Then be a good girl and roll your hips for me, Larissa,” You whispered against her neck, and her nails dug through your shirt, pulling you closer.
“Do you want to ride my fingers darling?” You hummed, and she nodded pathetically, her eyes screwed closed, she was so close, she just needed you, she just needed you.
“Need- need- I-” She panted, unable to even form the words. She felt your fingers slip into her, filling her and oh god, finally, it felt like relief.
She finally got what she had needed, after all day she finally got it. The palm of your hand pressed against her clit, giving her the pressure she needed.
She nearly screamed as it finally all came together, she was full, your lips were on her chest, licking and sucking and nipping and kissing and your palm was pressed against her in the best way, it was just everything. She sobbed in relief as she finally came, she felt her walls clenching around you, felt your hot breath on her skin and your fingers still pumping inside her. She didn’t even realize she was speaking, her head too fuzzy, the pressure of the headrush from coming that hard that quickly.
The darkened chuckle you gave pulled her out of it, her head clearing slightly as she looked up at you, your lips swollen and your eyes dark as you looked down on her. Your heart was pounding, you could feel how wet you were, how much more you needed her, how many different ways you did. You bit your lip, looking down at her, spread out on her desk and panting.
“Wh-what?” She panted, and you hummed, thrusting your fingers inside her again, making her head spin as she moaned, her eyelids fluttering.
“You, my love, asked me for another,” You whispered, and she whined at the feeling of your fingers picking up the thrusts again. “And you will get another,” You husked, your eyes darkening impossibly more. You took your free hand, pressing her down into the desk as you continued circling her clit, her hips circling as well, just wanting the feeling you were giving her to continue. “And another,” You bit, moving your hand to her knee, drawing it up to your shoulder, making her gasp as you draped her leg over your shoulder, opening her up as your fingers slipped deeper at the new angle. You had three fingers in her now, and you were slow, torturously slow driving in and out of her. “And another,” You hummed, and she moaned, her head pressing back into the desk and her back arching slightly at the deep, steady thrusts. “Close your eyes.” You instructed, and she looked up at you in confusion.
“But- but I- oh fuck ,” she breathed, her voice going high and thin as you found just the right spot inside of her.
“Mhm, close your eyes and tell me what you feel, darling,” you told her, and she gasped, nodding and closing her eyes, trying to focus on the sensation. “Oh that’s a good girl! Look at you, so beautiful for me,” you hummed, and she whimpered. God, there was nothing like the praise that came from your lips. She was convinced nothing would ever feel as good as that again. You lifted her other leg slightly, wrapping it around your hips as you pressed yours behind your hand, giving her your entire body to rock into, the pressure building, driving her out of her mind.
“Oh- oh dear god, ‘Phelia!” She whimpered, and you chuckled darkly. She looked incredible, stunning as sweat started to form on her brow, her lips a bitten mess as you looked down at her.
“Tell me what it feels like, Larissa.” You hummed again, your voice almost teasing. She whimpered, shaking her head, she couldn’t, she didn’t have words, all she had was feeling, all she could do was feel. “Do you want me to stop?” You threatened, and she shook her head rapidly, trying to find the words.
“I- I feel you- Mmm, mhm, I feel you inside me,” she gasped, squeezing her eyes tighter as she tried to focus on speaking. You hummed, curling your fingers inside her and she gasped, feeling the cord in her start to wind again. She clenched around you and you groaned.
“Fuck, I love your pretty cunt,” you hissed low, and her eyes went wide, snapping to you. You felt her buck into you at the words, nearly dripping into you. “Oh,” you breathed, and she blushed, looking away. She shouldn’t love how filthy your words made her feel, and she flushed red at it.
“No no no, my love, you already opened your eyes, now you have to look at me.” You said roughly, and she swallowed. “Do you like when I talk about you like that?” You asked her, dragging your nails up the thigh draped over your shoulder.
“I- Mmmmhm! ” She whimpered when you brought your thumb to her clit, her eyes rolling back as the little movement sent shockwaves through her core. Her head was spinning, all logic out the window. She was being fucked on her goddamn desk by the woman of her dreams essentially begging for more, begging you to treat her like she was filthy, like you wanted her so badly you couldn’t contain herself and you just used her until you couldn’t even think of anyone else. Just her, she wanted all of your world to be just her, and what you were doing to her. You leaned down, rolling your hips into your hand, grinding it further into her.
“Fu- fuck- Ophelia!” She hissed, and you nipped at her ear, moaning into her as your clothed cunt pressed against your own hand, making your breath hitch as you panted next to her, driving her wild.
“Oh you feel so fucking good darling,” you panted, and she whimpered. “Such a needy little mess, is this all for me, my love?” You asked her, and she just nodded, looking up at you with tears in her eyes. “Larissa?” You breathed, and she bit her lip.
“Don’t stop, please don’t stop,” she whispered, and your free hand ran up her thigh, your fingers delicately tracing her skin in contrast to the harsh thrusts that were speeding up.
“What’s your color, darling?” You asked her softly, and she nodded, warmth spreading throughout her at the realization that even if you were rougher, rougher like she so desperately wanted, you were still safe. You still watched her, still wanted her to feel good.
“Green, bloody hell- shit - Green!” She squeaked as you added a fourth finger, using your hips to grind your hand deeper into her, moaning at the friction it created on you.
“Good lord, you’re stunning Larissa, all messy like this, fuck,” you sighed, feeling yourself clench around nothing. You were still in your dance clothes, her hands clawing at the mesh around your arms, feeling you flex underneath her as you curled your fingers up again, leaning down to kiss at her neck, to mark her, oh she loved when you marked her. Your lips trailed up, hovering just below her ear, over her pulse point. “Will you be a good girl for me and come again, my love?” You whispered, biting down slightly on the spot.
She screamed.
She felt herself clench around your fingers, wave after wave of pleasure wrecking her, pulsing through her. You moaned into her skin as you felt her squeeze around you, your free hand gripping her thigh as you kept thrusting inside her, your own hips rolling still.
“So good, so good my love, such a good girl,” you moaned against her, and she whimpered, coming and coming around your fingers. Fuck, no one had ever done that, treated her like that, and she wanted more, more of you, more of everything.
She grabbed the back of your hair, pulling you away from her throat and down to kiss you, her tongue slipping into your mouth, desperate to have more, to taste more. You grunted, pumping your fingers into her again, her hips meeting you each time, the warm, wet feeling of her driving you mad.
“Fuck,” you hissed, and she couldn’t help the smile she gave before pulling you back into her, wrapping her leg around you tighter, pressing your cunt into your own hand. You gasped, and she nodded, her eyes half lidded as she attempted to stare you down. She wanted you to feel it too, wanted you both to feel pleasure at the same time. She didn’t know how, but she needed you both to feel it. “Playing dirty, are we?” You panted, and she bit her lip, raising her other hand to pull at the neckline of your shirt, trying to find a way to get it off. “D- darling I can’t- mmm, can’t take it off without sto-opping,” you moaned as your rocked into her, your hair beginning to stick to your forehead. She swallowed, staring up at you.
“You- fuck, you’ve been waiting j-just as long,” she panted, staring you down, “I want you, want you to feel it,” She breathed, and you bit your lip, giving her a few harder thrusts to throw her off. Her back slammed against the desk harder, and she felt herself starting to get close again.
She was a smart woman however, and far too clever, you may have been able to hold back longer, but you would crumble at touch far faster than she would. You could see her mind working and you braced yourself for whatever this woman was about to do, heaven help you. She could destroy you if she wished, but being with her, fuck it felt so good. You felt whole.
You pounded into her relentlessly, your hand beyond wet, you were sure the desk was covered in her, you could smell her from above her. Her bra was still on, her shirt pushed to the side and her tights ripped. This was dirty, desperate, like you two could barely keep your hands off of eachother. Sweet mother of god you could never keep your hands off her.
“Squeeze around me, darling, I know you can, oh you can be so good for me, making a mess all over your desk, all over- all over me,” you panted, and Larissa felt herself only get wetter at your words. She was close again, and fast, startlingly fast for her.
“Oh- Ophelia,” she groaned, and you leaned down, kissing her again, desperate for the closeness.
“I love you,” you whispered against her lips, your fingers slamming into her, and she fell over the edge all over again, her legs squeezing you so tightly you could barely move. Her hands gripped your shoulders, her hips rolling into you as she came and came, her head spinning as you kissed her gently, your fingers slowing down. “Good girl.” You smiled, and she flushed again, shaking her head at the ridiculousness before pulling you back down for another kiss.
This one was slow, your lips almost bruising as you worked one another over, tasting and tasting, biting each other’s lips and feeling one another pant and moan. You dropped her leg from your shoulder, letting her wrap both around you as she sat up, your fingers slipping from her and reaching for her shirt, pulling it the rest of the way off before unhooking her bra, her hands winding into your hair as you dropped down almost immediately, taking her nipple into your mouth and sucking running your teeth over her and moaning at her taste, her reactions. God, how you loved the taste of her skin.
She gasped, you didn’t have to do this anymore, you didn’t have to engage in foreplay to work her up, no, you just wanted this, and the realization had her groaning.
“You taste so good,” you whispered against her, dropping to your knees in front of where she was sitting, startling her. “I- oh I want more,” you almost whined, and she felt herself clench around nothing, her eyes on your wide grey ones, almost pleading with her to let you continue.
She, however, had a revenge to enact.
She snapped her legs shut, startling you as she placed a foot on the center of your chest, stopping you.
“I want to fuck you over my desk.” She rasped, and your eyes went wide, your hands pulling back immediately. You bit your lip, looking down, it- you wanted her to, absolutely you wanted her to, you wanted to feel her, make her feel good, but that… it had been so long and never with someone who had a- or at least not someone you wanted-
You gasped as you felt her hand on your jaw, turning her to face you. Her heart was pounding, the second she had said it you went far away somewhere, your eyes glazed over, you looked scared.
She ruined it, she felt herself fighting the urge to panic, she must have reminded you of something, or went too far. Yes, the two of you had made love, and beautifully, but fucking, that was, she didn’t know.
“I’m sorry, it’s alright, you don’t have to, I’ve got you, it’s just me,” she rushed, her throat closing up as she searched your eyes. She needed you to come back, she needed you with her. “Ophelia?” She whispered, panic in her voice, and your eyes snapped to her, realizing she was kneeling in front of you, on the floor with you, her lip trembling. She thought she scared you, you realized, your eyes going wider.
“Oh- oh no, not- not like that, no, I’m still here,” you breathed, leaning up and kissing her again, feeling her swallow down the worry. “It’s just… been a long time,” you blushed, and she looked down at you, furrowing her brows. “I, ah, I’ve slept with people yes, you know that, just not like- not as me,” you swallowed. “Not like that.” You dared a glance up at her, seeing her confusion. You blushed furiously, red rosettes blooming in your hair, calming Larissa slightly. You still wanted her, wanted to then, that was good.
“Ophelia, we can do whatever you want,” She said softly, still a bit choked up. “I- I know you feel more comfortable touching than-“
“I want you.” You said quietly, so quietly she almost missed it. Her breath faltered, you had her, what did you- You flushed, leaning up to whisper in her ear, hiding your face from her. “I- I want you to fuck me,” you shuddered, and her breath hitched.
You had never said that before. Not once. You had let her touch you, yes, you liked to grind on her, you felt comfortable with that, and you let her use her hands, but it was always slow, always careful. You wanted her to… you really trusted her that much?
“Tell me how,” she panted, her arms wrapping around you, pulling you into her lap as she slowly took off your mesh cover up, and then the sports bra, running her fingertips over every bit of skin revealed. “You showed me visions, sweetheart, you can tell me.” She encouraged you, and you shuddered.
You knew how, hell you were sure she knew how, but asking her for it made you flush for some reason.
“I- well I, I,” you were stuttering, actually stuttering. You who had a wit sharper than anyone she knew, who could talk your way around anyone, hold a crowd in the palm of your hand, you were stuttering. She furrowed her brows, pulling back to look at you, now slightly concerned. She remembered Morticia teasing you for liking it, rough, but you looked almost mortified at telling her what you wanted. “I-“ you tried once more, feeling your flush only deepen and groaning.
“You’re shy now?” She asked you, and you only turned redder.
“Well I- alright I’ve read about it, and knowing you I’m sure you can, I mean scientifically I know it would feel good, and you could be as- as rough as you liked,” you shuddered at that before continuing. “ If you liked, but you’ve been taught to hate what you can do, and I know far too much about what you can do and that’s not fair, not remotely! Not to mention the fact that I know this due to childhood pranks and medical exams, and stories about- but that’s a far darker thing, and I- I’ve had, oh I’ve had visions of you like that, of course but-“ she cut you off, her hands cupping your face to stop you from smiling. She almost wanted to giggle, entirely too childish for her, but the idea of seeing you flustered by anatomy was strangely adorable.
“Ophelia, darling, I adore your brilliant mind but I have no idea what you’re saying.” She said gently, and you groaned, closing your eyes. You knew it would feel good for her, hell you had seen visions where it felt good and she loved it! There was no reason for you to act like a blushing bride when it was simply anatomy. You were a scientist for god’s sake.
“I- well I know you can shift just parts of your body, and I have a toy somewhere, but I don’t have a strap and if you want to fuck me…” you trailed, your eyes glancing nervously between the floor and her own. She went red. Bright red. Larissa Weems went so red in front of you that you feared she may pass out from the sudden blood rush.
“ Oh, ” she breathed, and you turned away, worried you had ruined everything. Why did you ask for that? What sense had that made? You were an intelligent woman, a goddamn scientist! This was ridiculous! “You wouldn’t- that wouldn’t bother you?” She almost asked, before realizing. “That wouldn’t bother you.” She affirmed, her breath coming in short gasps.
Yes, she had thought about it. She hadn’t met many shape shifters, and certainly not any she would feel comfortable talking about her sex life with, but she imagined many thought about it. And if anyone wouldn’t mind, it, the woman who had dedicated her life to understanding the classification and abilities she had wouldn’t.
She felt her hands twitch, thinking of it. She had dreamed of it before, what it would feel like to be inside someone, what it would feel like to make you come around her. Just a few hours earlier she had imagined it, imagined you writhing in front of her, and when you had danced with Jenkins she wanted nothing more than to grab you and remind you that you were hers , that only she touched you like that.
“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have-“ you rushed, pulling away, only to feel her arms lock you in place, a shiver running up your spine at the show from the woman.
“You teased me, all day,” she reminded you, and you swallowed. “Worked me up in front of students,” she reprimanded, leaning down towards your ear. “Danced with someone else, touched someone else,” her breath fanned over your ear and you shuddered. She remembered this morning, your reaction to the idea of being quite literally full of her after you had shared a vision. “Just to get me to fill you up, Ophelia?” She asked you, her voice low.
You moaned, outright moaned at the idea.
“You have no idea how many times today I sat right over there and thought of it, you gave me such a pretty vision of you riding me, you didn’t think I wanted to feel that?” She asked you, and you whimpered.
“I- I didn’t mean to imply,” you swallowed, and she nuzzled into your neck, fluttering kisses over the skin there, making you gasp. Her hands gripped your hips, startling you as she picked you up, bringing you back up to the desk as she turned you around, pressing you into it.
“Like this?” She swallowed, and you could hear the shake in her voice, just as she could see your legs trembling. You looked back at her over your shoulder, steeling yourself for what you were sure would be the nail in your coffin, but hell did you want it.
“I’ve never been fucked by someone I love, Larissa, but I have liked it rough,” you teased her, her eyes going dark at the look on your face. Bloody hell no one had ever looked at her like that before, looked at her with so much want she almost lost her damn mind. The rest of your clothing was off before you could say another word, her hand coming to tease your inner thighs as she spread them apart.
Your breath hitched, the tenderness of the sensation sent tingles up your spine, your hands gripping the other side of the desk. She could see your blackened fingers wrapped around the other side, your body shaking with anticipation. The sight alone was enough to have her stripping her bottom half, suddenly nervous about her ability to do this. Her fingers trailed up, between your thighs, groaning as she felt the wetness there dripping down your legs. All of this was for her.
“Larissa, please,” You whispered, and the woman swallowed roughly. She closed her eyes for a moment, shifting her anatomy. She hadn’t done this before, she had, well Morticia had requested it once before, but she had never done it, too shy, too afraid of being judged. She shook her head, she couldn’t think of Morticia, not when you were spread out below her like this, not when you were, oh god you were shaking, shaking for her. “Larissa?” You whimpered, turning around to find the woman panting, looking down at you, and oh she was well endowed. You felt your stomach drop, somewhere between painfully aroused and nervous.
You had taken toys that were bigger, sure, years ago, but it had been so, so long. Your breath stuttered in your chest, and you swallowed as you stood up, looking up at her. She looked, shy. You glanced down again, slowly moving towards the woman.
“You don’t have to, Larissa-”
“I want to.” She rasped, and you nodded, glancing down again. You pulled her closer, kissing her slowly, gently, your hands running down her body. “I don’t, fuck I’ve wanted you for so long,” She breathed against you, and you nodded.
“I know, oh I know.” You swallowed, heat blazing through you. “Fuck, do I know.” You whispered, and she kissed you again, rougher this time, with more need, you could feel her cock between you, she hadn’t completely changed her anatomy, only morphing her clit into this so she could, could fuck you properly. You dropped to your knees, looking up at her with a smirk on your face.
This, you could do easily, this you had done many times. You turned her around, backing her up against the desk, her hands bracing herself up as you kneeled in front of her.
“I’ve done this before, you know,” You whispered, dropping your head to her thighs, kissing, nipping slowly up them.
“I- Christ Ophelia, you have?” She hissed, and you nodded.
“I’ve had visions of this, exactly this,” You hummed, looking up at her with the biggest, neediest grey eyes she had ever seen.
“O-oh?” She whimpered, fuck your mouth looked good as you bit your lips.
“Mhm, exactly this, you, you taking me,” You punctuated every few words with a kiss to her thighs, leading up, slowly leading up to where she needed you.
”Darling, I-” She stuttered, and you nodded, taking your hands to her. She gasped, gritting her teeth as you took her slowly into your mouth, moaning at the taste of her skin. It still tasted like her, she was still covered in her own slick, and fuck did you love it. You moaned around her, and the vibrations on the head of her cock made her hips jerk, surprising you. You choked, just a bit, and she pulled back instantly, panicking as she looked down, did she hurt you? Upset you? Did-
“OH MY GOD!” She whimpered as you leaned forward, chasing her into the desk, swallowing her down almost to the base. Fuck, that felt incredible, your mouth was so warm, your moans and whimpers vibrating around her. Her knuckles went white, death gripping her desk in an attempt to keep control of herself. Sweat started to build in her hairline, dripping down her temple as she looked at you, gritting her teeth to hold herself back from grabbing you by the hair and fucking your goddamn throat. You pulled back for a moment, gasping.
“You- you can, I like, I like it rough, Larissa, you’re not going to hurt me.” You swallowed, and her eyes blazed as she looked down on you.
“But you haven’t-”
“I used to,” You reminded her, and she blushed. “And you’re not, you’re not anyone else Larissa, I trust you, fuck I just want you, all of you,” You nearly begged, and you could feel her eyes darken on you.
You smirked, trying a different angle. You wanted this woman to fucking rail you to her desk, you wanted her to destroy you, to make your brain turn off and just use you until she knew, she knew how much you fucking loved it.
“I want you to remind me who gets to touch me,” You teased her, and she grit her teeth. She didn’t want to be jealous over you, she didn’t want to be like that but-
“Please Larissa, I want to feel you,” you whispered against her hips, kissing them slowly. “Don’t you- don’t you want me as yours? All yours, just- oh just all yours,” you moaned, looking up at her with eyes that said if she didn’t prove it right now you might just perish.
Every coherent thought she had went out the window when you looked at her like that.
“Get up.” She snapped, and you groaned, rising to your feet quickly. It wasn’t fast enough for her, she needed you, now. She needed to show you exactly who you belonged to, if that’s what you wanted she would make you forget anyone else who had ever touched you, she would make you forget all of it, until all you could think of was her, until you couldn’t even consider anyone else touching you.
She yanked you up, bending you over the desk again and pressing you down into it, the cold wood against your sensitive chest making you hiss. How was your skin this warm? How did she make you into this? She ran her hands over your waist, to your hips, grabbing you roughly and forcing you to arch your back. The moan you let out was sinful, filthy, and fuck did she love it.
“Is this what you want, hmm?” She gritted, rubbing the head of her cock over your dripping cunt. You gasped, hanging your head and nodding pathetically.
“Yes, yes, please, I want you Larissa,” You whined, and she lined herself up with you, feeling your hips roll back into her in an attempt to get what you wanted. “Oh, I need you,” you nearly begged, and Larissa felt herself nearly lose it at you begging for her.
No one had ever, and certainly not for this, not the way you wanted her, wanted everything she was willing to give you. She reached around you, rubbing your clit gently, making you whimper, rolling into her hand.
“P-please, please,” you gasped, your voice a breathy whisper.
“Phelia, darling, I need to work you up, it’ll hurt,” She panted, your desperate cries breaking down every barrier to her self restraint far faster than she had ever anticipated. You shook your head, arching your ass against her, looking over your shoulder.
“Don’t care, don’t care, just give it to me, please,” You breathed, and fuck if that didn’t get to her, she swallowed, reaching down and planting kisses on your shoulder blade, whispering into your skin.
“Darling, you can have it as rough as you like, once I get you ready for it, alright?” She shuddered against you, and you felt the air leave your body. The last time, the last consensual time someone had penetrated you the sex was good, sure, but she didn’t exactly go to this effort, no, no one other than her would go to this effort for you, and the realization had you squeezing your thighs together, making the woman on top of you grunt as her cock was trapped against you, your thighs holding her in place against the dripping mess that was your cunt.
“Ah- Ophelia, Phelia, please I- oh fuck, ” She husked, your thighs shaking around her. “Darling, I really want to-” She panted, and you rubbed your thighs together, making her buck into you, rubbing up against you perfectly.
“Yes,” You hissed, arching back into her again and moaning. You began to rock back and forth, rubbing the head of her cock against your clit.
“Ohhhh, Larissa,” You breathed, her name falling from your lips like a prayer. She shuddered at the sound, slowly beginning to pump her hips for you, feeling you clench your thighs around her again.
“Really now?” She whispered, and you nodded, propping yourself up on your elbows and biting your lip as you rocked back. She groaned at the way the muscles in your back worked and spread, the smooth expanse littered here and there with scars shifting to hold yourself up, giving you a better angle to grind down. Her voice was breathy and strained when it came out, yet her words sent your head spinning. “Is this really how much you want me?” She asked you, somewhere between genuinely mesmerized and teasing.
“Yes, God yes Larissa, I haven’t- Mmm, never felt like this for anyone else,” You gasped, and her own breath hitched, but not from the stimulation you were providing the both of you. She blushed, her heart pounding all over again at the admittance. She felt the confidence course through her, a rush of thrill as she looked down on you, your blush even spreading to your shoulders.
“Oh my sweet an-” She cut herself off, quickly correcting herself, “My sweet love,” she said quickly, thankfully you were either too focused on rutting against her or genuinely believed her, either way, she couldn’t take her eyes off you. “You poor thing, just desperate to be touched,” She rasped, and your brows knitted further.
You couldn’t go fast and keep her between your legs, every rock was a test of restraint, dragging yourself back and forth, back and forth on her. You were taking her breath away, using yourself to get her off, to work yourself up enough that she would finally just fuck you.
“Fuck, that feels good darling,” She panted, even loosing herself in what she knew was the calm before the storm. “You feel so good,” She rasped, leaning forward and bracing her arms on either side of you, on top of the desk, covering you in her. She felt you press what parts of yourself you could up into her, rolling your hair to one side so you could turn and kiss her.
“I’m not delicate love,” you panted, and she nodded, another kiss stealing your breath away.
“Oh I know, but the more I work you up darling, the better it feels,” She whispered, and your eyes nearly rolled back in anticipation. You gave her an extra squeeze, staring up through your lashes at her. She felt her hips stutter, bucking into you as if her own body was desperate to give you the attention you were so clearly begging her for.
“I- I can’t wait much longer,” You groaned, and her eyes flashed in anticipation, you almost had her. You twisted as far as you could with your hips still pressed to the desk, kissing her lips desperately for a few moments before pulling back just slightly, the flush on your cheeks and darkness in your eyes already telling her that whatever you were about to say may very well drive her mad.
Your voice was low when you spoke, gritty. By god you were a powerful woman in every sense of the word, even below her, and she realized just how much she loved it.
“Please Larissa,” You whispered, the way her name fell from your lips making her shudder. “I need you inside me,” You said softly. It wasn’t a whine, or a beg, or anything that she would have expected to break her. It was the passion in your eyes, the love there, and the sheer want you had for her. For her, not what she could do for you, not for the pleasure she was giving you, but her , and it nearly sent her over the edge. She pulled away from you, making you groan and press back, her hands stopping your hips from seeking her out for more.
“Spread your legs.” She nearly choked, and you did in less than a moment, up on your toes you were so eager for her. She reached around your hips again, gently teasing your clit while she lined herself up, making you shudder in anticipation. “Ready love?” She husked, and the way you dropped your head to a nod, rolling your shoulders into a better position had her worrying how long she would last like this. She pushed the head of her cock into you slowly, feeling your body go rigid as you gasped at just the first inch, your dark knuckles squeezing into fists as you felt the intrusion.
Fuck, it had been so long, and the stretch was burning, your body struggling to accommodate the woman. You didn’t know if she made it so large on purpose or if that was just proportional given her height, but the almost pained gasp you let out had her halting.
She stopped immediately, her hand on your clit giving you a little more pressure, a distraction from the sting as her other hand stroked your hip, her eyes taking in every little movement of your body.
“Are you alright?” She worried, biting her lip. She would stop, immediately, if you needed to, even if you just didn’t want to, the both of you could stop this right now, no matter how worked up she was. You nodded your head quickly, you just needed to get used to it again, you knew that, it wouldn’t take long, just a little sting and then you would finally have the woman you loved filling you up.
“Mhm, mhm, just been- been a long time,” You gasped, your voice thready. She could see you shaking, and her hands did everything they could to ease you.
“You’ve got it darling,” She whispered, her voice still slightly worried. You moaned at the praise, flushing even redder and easing back onto her a bit, the breath leaving you as the stretch intensified. “You’re doing so well,” She hummed, and you felt yourself squeeze around her, the woman’s breath hitching at the pressure, bloody hell that felt amazing. “Oh fuck, you feel so good,” She hissed under her breath, her thighs flexing in an attempt to restrain herself. Her fingers on your clit sped up, sending your head spinning as you nodded.
“More,” You panted, “Give me more, I can take it,” You gasped, a hint of a whine in your voice that had Larissa wanting to kiss you all over again. “I can take it,” You repeated, and the woman groaned, sliding into you a little bit at a time. Fuck, she was big, but you nodded, encouraging her with moans and gasps you had no idea you were giving.
“Just a little more darling, you’re almost there,” She husked, her voice strained. She could feel you squeezing around her, the warmth of you, how you shook in her hands. Nothing, had ever, felt as good as this did, being closer to you than she had ever been to anyone.
“Almost there,” you repeated, and her breath hitched at the way even your powerful mind was rendered simple at the feeling of you two together. She was easing in slowly, giving you time, the burn starting to lessen the deeper she went and giving way to- oh giving way to the absolute bliss at how full she made you feel. “Oh, ah- Larissa!” You whimpered, feeling her hips meet your ass as the pressure built up in the best of ways, finally, finally you had gotten what you wanted, she had filled you, made you hers, and you nearly sobbed in pleasure as you came around her roughly, your hips barely held in place by her steady hands.
She groaned at the feeling, the sensation of your walls pulsing sound her maddening. She could feel everything, and it took her breath away. She gasped as she felt you come, the long drawn out moan spilling from your lips devolving into mutterings of her name, little thank you’s and what she could barely register as the word ‘full’ repeated over and over.
“Fuck, Phelia, Fuck! ” She whimpered, and you nodded, a dark chuckle coming from low in your chest. She panted, looking down at you, “Did you just-” She cut herself off, blushing for some unknown reason, as if making you come that quickly was somehow the one thing that threw her off guard. You nodded, humming as you closed your eyes, gently easing forward and back, the sensation making your body feel all tingly.
“Another, I need another,” You panted, and Larissa grunted, pulling her hand from your cunt and taking it between her own lips, groaning at your taste before gripping your hips roughly, the full swell of them thoroughly enchanting her at this angle.
“Good lord woman,” She groaned, and you smiled blissfully, grinding onto her, making her hiss.
“You- Mmm, you shouldn’t have kissed me- Oh fuck, kissed me like that this- this mo-orning!” You gasped, your words breaking as she started to thrust in and out of you, a heat like you had never known spreading through your body at the sensation. She gritted her teeth, her hands a little harsher on your hips, making you gasp.
“Perhaps you, my dear, shouldn’t have teased me all day,” She reminded you, pulling out nearly the whole way before she slammed her hips into yours, the cry you let out filling her with a rush, fuck she needed to hear that again. She did it again, slamming into you and making you fall forward, collapsing onto the desk as you nearly whimpered.
“Da-darling!” You cried, and she felt a rush at that, the power she had over you, the power you gave her flooding her with ecstasy.
“You like that, my love?” She asked, the teasing edge of her voice making you shudder.
“Again, please, do it again,” You panted as she nearly pulled out, making you wait for that full feeling you couldn’t get enough of.
“Do what, Ophelia, what is it you need, hmm?” She was teasing you, and the brilliantly red flowers blooming in your hair gave her an idea of how you felt about it. “Teasing me all day, my love, do you regret it now?” She asked you, pushing into you achingly slowly. You nearly growled.
“If it gets you to fuck me like this, Larissa, never,” You shot back, and the posh woman raised her brow, slamming into you and making you cry out, smiling wildly at your reaction. She was making you feel that way, react that way, and she couldn’t get enough of it.
“Come now darling, just tell me what you need,” she whispered, dropping down against you again, her tits pressing into your back and making you shudder, her lips grazing over your shoulder in a way that had you wanting to beg. “I’ll give it to you, you know I’ll give it to you, Ophelia, you just have to tell me,” She breathed, the honest kindness in her voice finally stipping away every boundary, your mind following your heart and body and just completely giving in.
“Please, please Larissa, I need you to fuck me,” You whispered, and she swallowed. “I need you to wreck me, bruise me, I don’t care just fuck me so hard I’ll never forget it,” You whined, and she swore her heart stopped in her chest. “Please, I need it, I need to be yours, I want you to make me yours,” You nearly sobbed, your words far too true for you to continue speaking.
“Fuck, do I love you,” she groaned, and you cried out in relief as she slammed her hips into you. You were panting, rolling your hips as you desperately tried to keep up, your entire body bouncing against the desk. Sure, shapeshifters were strong, especially the taller ones, but this woman was strong. Your breath left your body, leaving you gasping for air as she pounded into you, your hands scrambling for purchase, your eyes shutting as you came spectacularly, stars shooting off behind your eyes you squeezed them so tight.
But she didn’t stop. She didn’t even slow down, she littered your neck and shoulders with bites before standing up the whole way, her grip on your hips slamming you back into her with every thrust, hitting spots that had you nearly screaming in pleasure.
“Look at you, is all this for me?” She panted, and you nodded pathetically, whining her name.
“Rissa, please, please mhm!” You cried, and she felt herself coming the second your fucked out brain couldn’t even bring your lips to manage her full name. You never called her that, it was always her name, or ‘Miss Weems’ but never that, and now she needed to hear you calling her ‘Rissa’ in every possible context. Fucked out, loving, sobbing with pleasure, softly in the night, she didn’t care, just all of it, she needed all of it. She came, her pseudo-cock spasming inside you, pushing you over the edge again. You were panting, sweat dripping down your body as she lifted your right leg up, setting it on the desk to give herself a whole new angle, a deeper angle as she once again pounded into you.
“Ah-oh! Rissa! Fuck! ” You cried out desperately, she was so deep, you were so full, it all just felt so fucking good, incredibly good.
You felt lightheaded, like your brain was buzzing in pleasure. You were high off this woman, completely hooked, the euphoria she gave you far better than any opiate you had ever used, a snap of her hips beat any pipe you could smoke, she was addictive , and you couldn’t get enough.
“More, more, More!” You were crying with pleasure, your voice breaking and tears streaming down your face as she made a mess of you, obliterating any thoughts of anyone else having ever touched you.
“Oh, you’ll get more, my love, you’ll get everything you want,” She panted above you, grabbing the back of your bent knee and pushing it up a little farther, making her next thrust hit impossibly deeper, and you screamed as you came again. She kept going, her own orgasms rolling through her as she refused to let up, refused to stop before you were begging her to, she would make you forget anyone else who had ever touched you, the memories bad or good, she didn’t care, for the rest of your lives, she wanted to be the only one who you thought of any time you felt pleasure. “Go on, come again sweetheart,” She rasped, and you sobbed, shaking your head.
“Can’t, can’t that fast,” You panted, pressing the side of your face into her desk.
“Oh yes you can ‘Phelia, I know you can, you’re a strong woman, you can take it,” She moaned, feeling your cunt squeeze around her again, your body convulsing as you came, screaming her name. She came with you, her chest heaving as she attempted to make up for the fact that the sight of you took her breath away, let alone the sound.
She lifted you onto your side, pulling one leg up onto her shoulder, putting you in what was essentially a straddle, just like the dance position she had seen you hold, your body collapsing onto her desk as you looked up at her. You were a mess, there were tears running down your face, your lips so swollen and bitten she was sure you would have had to have drawn blood at some point, your entire body trembling in pleasure. You bucked your hips away from her, the new angle too much, your poor cunt far from used to this kind of treatment.
“C-can’t- I- I Caa-an’t,” You whimpered, and she stroked a strand of hair away from your face, nodding. “Yes you can darling, give me one more, just one more,” She breathed down at you, her eyes full of love this time, not lust.
You shut your eyes, your hands gripping onto the bottom of the desk this time, biting your lip as she thrust into you slowly. Her hand came to your clit again, stroking it gently, causing you to twitch away.
“Just one more darling, you feel so good, please, just one more,” She panted, and you whined, unable to even speak anymore as she moved inside of you, just nodding your head.
She was slow this time, tender, filling you up even deeper, but far less rough. Every time she sank into the hilt you forgot how to breathe, your body completely at her mercy as she tenderly led you over the edge. When you finally came again around her your entire body jolted, wave after wave of pleasure rocking you both as she came with you, both of you rolling into each other, your bodies seeking out more than they could handle.
She lifted your leg off her shoulder slowly, gently, easing you down to the desk as you completely collapsed, a panting, sticky mess.
She pulled away for a moment, looking down at the wreck she had made of you. You were covered in her love bites, lines of scratches complimenting your scarred skin, slight bruising forming where she had gripped your hips. Her eyes went wide at the last marking, her hand trembling as she brushed her fingers over it, terrified she had hurt you. You shuddered, looking down to realize what had caught her attention. You groaned, letting your head fall back as another spike in pleasure at the sight had you slamming your legs shut, your overstimulated cunt squeezing and twitching without your permission.
“Fuck, Ophelia i’m so sorry I didn’t realize I was-” She was cut off as you pulled her down for a kiss, wrapping your arms around her and somewhat pulling yourself up, relying very heavily on her aid to sit up the whole way, a whine falling from you as your weight rested on you poor cunt. She shuddered against you, holding you close as you rested your head on her shoulder, still panting and shaking.
“Don’t you dare apologize for that,” you panted, feeling her swallow. “Don’t you ever apologize for that,” You whispered, kissing her deeply again, your body melting into hers as you wrapped your arms around each other, your fear of touch the furthest thing from your mind.
Notes:
Kofi for tips: https://ko-fi.com/miss_v_257
Discord for community: https://discord.gg/AVAE4hxbXe
Can't wait to hear from you! (Questions make me happy, by the way, apparently some people have been worried about asking them, but I LOVE questions!!!)
Chapter 32: Undone
Summary:
Larissa wakes up next to you, and watches you fall apart in the softest way she could ever imagine. When later you threaten to shatter, she finds herself desperate to keep you close and in one piece. Your family does much the same, knowing it can get far worse than she can even imagine.
WARNING: Blood/Medical Descriptions/Dead Bodies/Blood/Implied Torture/Slight Smut/Addiction/Past Hard Drug Use/Drug Use
Notes:
Hello darlings!
I swear every time I say that I am back on schedule or that I aim to be I utterly fail to follow through, so I will refrain from jinxing myself this time. That being said, thank you so, so much to everyone who has read this fit and stuck with it so far. She has had many, many breaks, and a hiatus-long pause, yet every time I come back I feel so happy to know people are still reading and enjoying it. I really cannot thank you all enough for your support ESPECIALLY those who comment, but please know I smile and beam with every kudos and hit this pic gets!
Thank you all so much,
With Love,
V
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
The first thing you noticed when you awoke that morning was how sore you felt. Your breath hitched as you shifted closer to the woman next to you, your legs aching from the movement. She was awake, it seemed, if the fact that she was reading happened to mean anything. You chuckled lowly, curling into her neck and placing a few kisses there, making her breath hitch.
You were being so easy with it this morning, you were touching her so easily.
“Good morning.” She swallowed, her voice still raspy from sleep, and you smiled, placing a few more kisses on the more sensitive spots on her neck.
She shuddered, tilting her head up and allowing you all you wanted. You were touching her, it was morning and you were still touching her, still easy with her. It meant everything to the woman.
“Good morning.” You replied softly, resting your head on her shoulder and looking at her book, squinting without your glasses. “And what on earth could be so interesting that it’s drawn you away from sleeping with me?” You mumbled, teasing the taller woman.
She scoffed, fixing you with a sideways glare as she closed the book, putting it to the side.
“I didn’t say you had to stop.” You hummed, really not bothered by it. She had stayed with you, that meant the world to you. She was there when you woke up this time, her warm body right next to you.
“How are you feeling, my dear?” She asked softly, laying back down and looking at you properly, stroking a few strands of hair out of your face. Your eyes fluttered at the action, the softness of her fingertips so different then they had been last night, but just as loving. It made you dizzy.
“Wonderful,” you breathed, and she chuckled a bit, leaning towards you and kissing you slowly, easily, as if she had all the time in the world. You wished she did, that the both of you did, that you could just lay here forever.
“I love you.” You whispered against her lips, and she smiled into the kiss, white flowers blooming in your hair instantly upon feeling it. You never thought that was something you would feel, someone smiling as they kissed you, but good lord did you love it.
“I love you too, mon fluer,” she teased you, and the blush that lit up your face had you pulling back to look away, pink, white, and red flowers blooming in your hair this time. She chuckled at that, looking at them closely.
They really were beautiful, more delicate than the ones you grew from your hands. When she had touched them before you had looked- she had never seen you blush like that. She wondered if you would let her do it again.
She swallowed with the temptation of it, of being the only person you allowed to touch you like that. She wanted to show you a world of tender touches, soft caresses, all the love she could give you, everything she could give you. She wanted to give you everything.
“May I?” She asked you, looking up at them, and you furrowed your brows.
“I- I could grow you much nicer ones with my hands, those tend to be quite small, and they’re a little, ah, sensitive, those ones I don’t like to pull as much.” You swallowed, and you saw her eyes sadden. Your heart ached at the sight, and you immediately grabbed her hands. “Of course you can have them if you really like, I just meant that- I can- you can have them!” You rushed, and she shook her head, shushing you.
It broke her heart, how willing you were to allow yourself pain.
“Ophelia,” She called gently, her hand soothing over yours. “I know it hurts, I would never- I wouldn’t ask you to hurt yourself for me.” She said softly, and your eyes went wide. She wouldn’t. Of course she wouldn’t. She was perhaps the only one that wouldn’t. “I wanted to touch them, I- you seemed quite sensitive to it before, I was just wondering if I could…” she trailed off, a blush staining her cheeks as she looked at you.
She just wanted to touch them. She wanted to know what they felt like, you realized, what they felt like to you, how it could make you feel, she wanted to know you. It made you blush further, already bare in bed with the woman as she asked to give you more.
“Of course,” you swallowed, before a chuckle loosened itself from your chest. “Of course you can touch them,” You chuckled at yourself. “Yes I can- I can feel it, I just- oh, I just love you.” You smiled at the woman, who looked mildly confused by your reaction.
“Is it that strange of a question?” She asked, and you shook your head, staring into her eyes. Good lord she was beautiful.
“Not from you, no.” You smiled gently, and she blushed a bit, glancing up at the white flowers blooming in your hair. You swallowed, tilting the crown of your head towards her slightly as you looked down, allowing her the space to see how your abilities flared under her presence. “Go on, just, gently, please.” You said quietly, your grey eyes full of something she dared to call trust.
Larissa reached up slowly, gently, smoothing your hair to the side before the tips of her fingers ever so carefully caressed the petal of a rosette blooming above your left eye.
She could see the shiver run through your body.
Your lips parted, your eyes fluttering closed as she did so. It was hard to describe the feeling, until you plucked the flowers or plants that grew from you they were fed off your blood supply and ability, so you could feel them, however they were sensitive for some reason. It was as if you couldn’t feel the precision of a sensation, but the impact of it was multiplied. Light touches there felt like a finger on your pulse point, and it was something you loved and hated all the same.
“Beautiful,” she whispered, and you blushed further, furrowing your brows a bit as she continued her exploration. There was so much of you she had yet to explore, so much of you she needed to show love. “And you can, you can feel that?” She asked you, finding control of her voice. Your attempts at control fared far worse, a shudder running up your spine as she grazed a petal with her nail, your entire body tensing.
“I- yes!” You nearly squeaked, and her eyes went wide, an almost wicked smile forming on her lips.
“Hmm,” she hummed, a twinkle in her eyes that if yours were open would have registered as excitingly dangerous. She leaned forward, and you relaxed slightly, thinking that she was about to kiss your forehead, letting up. Her hands were holding you very gently, you expected some sort of soft gesture.
What you did not expect was for the woman to brush her lips against a petal.
Your arms shot forward, you could feel her breath against them, the softness of her lips. A broken gasp ripped its way from your chest as your hands dug into her arms, keeping her there. She chuckled darkly, thrilling at how you reacted.
“Oh, she likes that.” She teased, and your nails dug into the woman’s arms. It wasn’t painful, you weren’t gripping her that hard, but you were quite literally shaking in her hands, holding onto her for dear life, lines of pleasure etched into your brow.
“ Oh dear god, ” Your breath hitched, and she hummed, the nails of her other hand running up the back of your spine. “Mh- Larissa,” You panted, and she did it again, her lips pressing softly against the petal and driving you to wrap around her.
“Yes, mon fluer ,” She was teasing you, you didn’t care, you just wanted her to continue. “Look at how you bloom,” She muttered, her lips grazing over it again.
She moved to another flower, kissing it just as gently, her breath making the petals turn a somewhat darker red, and she smiled.
You gasped, small noises scraping their way out of your throat as she did so again, and again, and again. You kept squirming, the feelings building and overwhelming you as words became whimpers, your pleas became less and less as your face continued to heat up, the flowers rapidly shifting between reds and blooming, shifting, never dying, but new petals forming and falling away.
She smiled, kissing them again and again.
You cried out, gripping onto her and shuddering in her arms, panting rapidly as you pushed her back slightly, silently begging her to let up, that you were overwhelmed.
She looked down at you, you were panting, flushed and sweating slightly, your eyes still closed from overstimulation and your face contorted in bliss. You took her breath away.
You looked completely ruined, and all she had done was kiss you. In fact she had only ever seen you look this ruined when you came for her.
“Did you just…” Larissa trailed, and you pursed your lips, nodding rapidly, your eyes still closed.
“Mmm- mhm” You nodded breathlessly. She leaned down, her lips kissing your forehead this time, making you relax into the bedsheets.
That’s when she felt it.
“Phelia?” She breathed, and you hummed, relaxing back against the mattress, your face slowly smoothing, but your eyes still closed. “I-I don’t mean to alarm you darling, but you’ve, ah, well, i’m not minding them, they're, softer than I thought they would be, however, well-” You opened your eyes at her confusion, only for you to freeze.
The second you saw the way your vines had wrapped around her you thought you’d be sick.
Your eyes went wide, stricken, your entire body shaking as tears started streaming down your face as you shook your head.
“No, no no, please no,” You rasped, your voice so broken so quickly. You looked like a terrified child and a woman losing everything all at once. Her hands were on your face in less than a moment, wiping your tears away. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I-”
“Ophelia.” She called your name firmly, your eyes shooting directly to hers. You shook your head in silence, panic causing blackness to rise up your arms quickly, faster than she had seen before.
“You’re not hurting me, it isn’t hurting me.” She said firmly, her hands cupping your face, making sure you could only look at her. “You’re not hurting me.” She repeated firmly, and your eyes went wide, still scared, but less panicked, the spread of the black slowed, but was certainly still a threat. “Look,” she said calmly, and you did, your breath hitching as you looked down.
Vines had grown from your palms, yes, but had since branched out, wrapping around her gently. They weren’t digging into her skin, the indentation under them so slight they could have barely been pressed against her.
The black creeping up your arms stopped fully, just under your elbows.
One had wrapped around her back from where you had held her upper arm, slinging around her hips before falling down her other hip. The other had wound round her arm, holding her closer to you, the end of it stroking her neck softly.
Your eyes widened, shocked.
Larissa exhaled in relief as she saw the black of your arms start to retreat down your arms.
“It- that- they’ve never done that before.” You rasped, and she nodded down at you, a small smile on her face.
“They feel nice, actually.” She hummed, and your eyes somehow widened, a blush staining your face. The vine at her neck worked it’s way up, softly stroking over a spot that you knew always left the woman shuddering.
She sighed, closing her eyes for a moment and tilting her head back, leaning into it.
“Are you, doing that?” She breathed, and you swallowed, staring at the vine.
“I- I’m not quite sure.” You whispered, almost as if you were afraid your voice would shatter the moment. She hummed, opening her eyes and looking down at you, her eyes soft, a slight smile on her lips as she enjoyed it. Your hands were back to normal now, and you were looking up at her utterly mesmerized.
“I- I can try to stop it,” You swallowed, focusing on the vine and willing it to still. It did, much to your relief, and you sighed deeply, relaxing. This time you moved it purposefully, it seemed you were in control, if subconsciously before.
She sighed contentedly, leaning into the vine, shocking you, as you swallowed.
“Oh, that feels lovely.” She hummed, and your eyes went impossibly wider, looking up at her.
“I’ve never, it’s dangerous, I could-”
“Are you in control of it?” She asked you, and you swallowed, nodding again. “Do you want to hurt me?” She asked, and you shook your head rapidly. How could she ask you that?
“Of course not, Larissa, why would-”
“Are you frightened of me?” She asked you, her eyes far more exposed this time, vulnerable, you realized, as she looked down on you, laying prone on the bed below her, your hands on her hips as your vines wrapped around her, holding her close, keeping her with you. You swallowed, your own eyes wide.
“N-no, of course not, I-” She shook her head, her hand coming to your jaw and cupping your face gently, wiping away tears you hadn’t realized you had shed.
“Darling,” She said softly, encouraging you, and you swallowed, trying to find the words.
“I- You may be the only person I know who I’m not afraid of, at least partially.” You breathed, and she leaned down, kissing your cheeks where the tears had fallen. “I’m sorry.” You whispered, and she shook her head.
“You didn’t do anything wrong, love.” She said softly, and you closing your eyes, just feeling her closeness.
“I am not scared of you, Larissa.” You swallowed. “I believe I will always be scared of hurting you.” You admitted, opening your eyes to look up at her, your heart breaking at the tears in her eyes as well.
“Could you let me tell you if it hurts?” She asked you, her voice low, and you looked up at her in surprise.
“What?” You asked her, and she blushed a bit.
“I- I would tell you, if you did something that harmed me, Ophelia.” She swallowed. “I am not a woman that needs to be protected, I can handle myself.” She sat up straighter on you, and you looked up at her, mesmerized. She was stunning, strong, beautiful, a gleaming light above you, her weight settled on your hips, grounding you. She was divine strength in that moment, you would follow a word from her lips to your death if she asked it. “You’ve asked me what I want from you, many times, and I told you to let me see you, now i’m telling you I want you to trust me to tell you if it’s too much.” She said, her hydrangea blue eyes gleaming with unshed tears as she looked down at you, yet there was a sense of strength there that rooted you to the spot. You took a deep breath in.
You were terrified, your whole life you had been terrified of hurting others, and her, god, you could never hurt her. You would destroy yourself if you hurt her, you knew that, you had seen it happen. You didn’t answer, your grey eyes swirling with something she couldn’t interpret.
She swallowed, losing her nerve, if you left now, she worried she would never see you again. If this is what forced you to run from her, your own fear of yourself, she didn’t know how she would handle it.
She felt the vine around her neck wrap around the back of her, coming to the other side before stroking her cheek gently, wiping away her own tear.
You didn’t speak, you didn’t have the words. You were a poet for a reason, not an orator. You needed time to process, to think, to put things in order for your mind to make sense of the world. But as fast as your mind could work, it could never quite wrap around her. Yet your subconscious-driven ability seemed to speak more truthfully than you ever could.
You were silent as the vine around her hips crept up her back, pushing her forward slightly. She gasped a bit, but followed it, allowing herself to be pushed forward, her heart rate speeding up as she felt her chest press against yours, your own heart pounding in your chest.
She laid on you, feeling you sigh in relief as she relaxed on top of you, the vines moving lazily over her skin, caressing her gently, but holding her to you. They moved more based on your feelings than your logic, she knew that. It wasn’t quite like your hands, where you had complete and utter control, this was instinctual, this was much more akin to her shifting. It happened based on what you felt, and currently, it seemed, you wanted to feel her close.
She nuzzled into your neck, deeply inhaling the scent there, feeling you relax further under her.
“I love you, Larissa Weems.” You whispered, your voice choked up with more emotion than she had ever heard in it outside of you fighting. Her own heart stopped, her breath stuttering past her lips.
“I love you too, Ophelia Florere.” She said softly, and she felt the vines wrap further around her, holding her to you. The two of you laid like that for a while, neither daring to interrupt the moment.
She would have to go to her office soon, you knew that, and you would have to teach, yet she allowed you a while, deviated from her routine just to allow you to hold her, the quietness of the room settling you both.
Your phone rang, interrupting your piece, and you sighed, allowing the vines to whither and vanish, much to her disappointment. You glanced at the bedside table, recognizing the ringtone of your second phone.
“I have to…” you trailed, worried that it would ruin the morning. She just smiled, nodding.
“I know.” She said softly, handing you your phone and kissing your cheek as she rose, disappearing into the washroom.
“Jenkins.” You swallowed, your head still spinning from the woman as you sobered, very rapidly, upon hearing his voice.
“Phil…” he whispered, his voice shaking.
Something was wrong.
Jenkins was shaking. Jenkins. All sense of warmth and joy left your body faster than you had ever felt.
“Who did they get? Where-“
“Phil I’ve never seen them like this,” he rasped, and the stoic man you knew sounded as if he was truly in shock.
“Jenkins- Fergus, who did they take?” Your voice was calm, hard, as you felt the blood leave your face.
“No, no they didn’t get anyone.” He gruffed, and you sighed in relief, trying to find air to fill your lungs again.
“But they- mo dhia (my god).” He breathed. Your eyes went wide. Jenkins rarely spoke his native tongue, whatever was enough to shock him into Gaelic, let alone make the man pray, had to be truly shocking.
“Jenkins, what happened?” You swallowed, and you heard the man take a ragged breath.
“Can you- I’m going to send you pictures.” He rasped, and you nodded, switching the phone to speaker to look at the messages as they came through.
…
Larissa was twirling up her hair in her bathroom, carefully pinning each piece as she did. She knew she couldn’t sit in on calls that came from your second phone, not without your permission at least. Her heart pounded as she attempted to calm herself, steadying her hands.
You wouldn’t leave.
You had- you had finally given her all of yourself, and you said you had never done that before. She could trust you. She knew she had to trust you. She knew you had responsibilities, but even if you had to go you would come back, you had to come back.
She was pinning the final twist when her hands froze.
A chill ran up her spine.
She didn’t recognize it for a moment, how could she recognize something like that?
The sound was inhuman.
It was a wail that almost sounded like a wounded animal, caught in a trap. It was a sob, something low and broken, as if the one making it couldn’t even scream. The pins clattered to the ground, she was moving before she even could fully process what she had heard.
You were on the mattress, the sheets tangled around you as you stared at your phone in shock.
You had dropped it, your eyes widened in utter terror as you stared at something there, at whatever it was that could make you cry out in horror like that.
The silence after was so much louder than the short scream.
“What- what happened?” She rushed, coming over to you. You just shook your head in shock, your eyes wide, glazed over, your lips unable to even form a word.
“Tip- is that Tippy?” A gruff voice from the phone came, and Larissa recognized it as Jenkins.
“Yes- yes what happened? Ophelia, are you alright? Ophelia!” She hissed, taking your shell shocked body by the shoulders, trying to get you to look at her, anything. She just needed a sign you were in there- she needed to know what made you wail like that. “Darling, Ophelia?” She whispered, her voice shaking as she tried to pull you out of this.
“Pigs.” You whispered, your voice broken.
“Phil,” Jenkins called.
“That’s- that’s how you dissect pigs.” You swallowed.
“Jenkins what on earth is going on?” Larissa hissed at the phone, her hands on your shoulders, flitting down your arms as she checked for the blackness. It wasn’t growing up your arms yet, you were in shock.
“Where- where are their organs? Jenkins?” You swallowed, sounding like you were about to be sick. “What- what was in the chest cavity? That’s not- they don’t- that’s not right.” You whispered. “Where’s the heart?” You asked quietly, your body still frozen.
“Ophelia.” Jenkins called, and you just shook your head.
“To do that- to get a body to mutate so fast it dissolves internally- it- it- where’s the heart?” You repeated, your voice small and raspy, as if you couldn’t bear the weight of what you were trying to say.
“Medic!” Jenkins hollered, and you froze, your back going ramrod straight. It was such a sudden shift that Larissa jumped back, unsure of what had spooked you.
“I’m fine.” You rasped, choking down the emotion you were struggling with only a moment before.
“Ophelia, darling are you-“ Larissa asked softly, her hand seeking yours in the mess of sheets.
“It’s alright, I’m alright.” You swallowed, looking at her. “But I- I can’t be your Ophelia right now, I- I need to be the medic, and the professor, and I- when I’m yours I feel things and I need to not feel things for a bit, alright, just a bit, and then I’ll figure this out and teach and then I’ll be back here tonight, alright?” You whispered softly, and her brows furrowed in worry as she looked at you.
“I- tonight?” She asked you, worry filling her, and you nodded.
“Tonight.” You repeated, sighing deeply.
You heard Jenkins clear his throat, and your eyes snapped to the phone.
“Yes, did you take samples?” You asked him, your voice cold and devoid of emotion, it was shocking to Larissa, seeing how quickly you could flip, and how intense the change was.
He huffed, humming warily.
“We ‘ave the bodies, they’re in bio-hazard fer now, but they were all found with injection sites, no protective equipment in th’ lab.” He said roughly, and you nodded.
“I’m teaching until three, ask Moss to run a panel to start, I’ll take over after that.” You instructed, and the man huffed again. You hesitated, your voice “And tell her I’m… that I apologize for making her work on the dead.” You swallowed, and the man grunted again.
“I’ll cover ‘em fore she sees.” He said, and you nodded gratefully, not that he could see it.
“Yer not alone anymore, ya know.” He said, and you froze for a moment. “I mean ya never were, you always have me, but now ya have Tippy too, and she can- there are things she can do that I cannae.” He sighed, and you scoffed a bit through the emotion you were suppressing.
“Are you saying you’d like to hold me, Jenkins?” You teased the man, and he scoffed right back.
“Aye, well god fer fecken bid anyone else does.” He sighed, though you could hear the slight smile in his voice. “Hold ‘er, would y’a? She’ll try not te let ye, but as long as her elbows aren’t black ye can.” He said, resulting in you glaring at the phone.
“Fergus Jenkins, I am capable of my own self regulation, thank you! Just because I had a moment where it slipped does not mean I need- oh ,” you sighed softly as her hands wound around you, pulling you up and into her lap. You gasped, swallowing down the lump forming in your throat.
That felt nice, that felt really nice.
She hushed you, wrapping her arms around you gently and holding you close. You ears rang as she said a few words to Jenkins, hanging up the phone before her lips found your temple, whispering things there as her hands traced gentle patterns on your bare arms. You felt an ache in your throat, a familiar ache, an urge to cry. You couldn’t, you reminded yourself, once you started you wouldn’t stop, you could not cry until things were dealt with, and you were alone. You took in a ragged breath, feeling Larissa behind you.
“I’m alright.” You swallowed down, and the woman hummed, resting her head on your shoulder.
“You needn’t be.” She said very softly, so gently you thought her whisper might be what finally broke you. Her words hit you as if you were shot, tearing through you to your very core.
“But I do, my love, I must.” You sighed deeply, standing and getting yourself dressed before silently drinking tea, feeling Larissa’s nervous eyes on you.
She watched you in worry, her heart in her throat. You were silent, she watched as each item of clothing you chose covered as much of your skin as possible, taking away every connection to the outside world. You wouldn’t look at her, and it made the nerves building in her worse, much worse. Your eyes seemed glazed over, the mask on your face fixed back in place, the calm she knew to hide the storm within you firmly where you needed it. It worried her. Last night you had, you had been… She had never seen you like that, leaning into her touch, asking for more.
You had let her whisk you back to her bedroom and clean you up, your blissed out body limp in her tub as she washed you gently, laying between her legs. You had let her trace your scars for what felt like hours, falling asleep in her arms without a word about the potential of you sharing dreams, without hesitation or your constant worry.
Watching you cover your skin again now, it made her heart ache, just as it made a throb of worry seize her throat. You would come back to her, you had promised you would, you just needed time. You needed to sort out whatever had made you… had made you sound like that . Then you would come back to her. You had promised. Space, Jenkins had told her to give you space, and time, and that was something she could do.
She watched as you sipped your tea slowly, your blackened fingers trembling slightly. You were shaking. Good lord, you were shaking and all she wanted in the world was to pull you into her arms.
“You should eat.” She said softly, and you cringed. She was worrying about you, the last thing you wanted was for her to worry about you. You were fine, you were always fine. It was part of the reason you were so good at what you did. Even when you weren’t fine you were fine, and the last thing you wanted Larissa to see right now was a crack in your armor.
“I, I will after my first class.” You responded quietly, still staring into your teacup. You were lying, you both knew you were lying. She had never felt you lie to her before. You weren’t even trying. She knew you had lied to her before, when you had met, in the beginning. You had to, it was a part of what you did, however you had never allowed her to so blatantly see it before. She shuddered, realizing for a moment exactly why you were so terrified of letting others close to you.
“Ophelia…” she trailed, taking a few cautious steps towards you. You hated the hesitation in her voice. You stood up abruptly, surprising the woman before you turned towards her, smiling tightly.
“It’s alright, just work, sometimes it’s… worse, however there are always things to be done.” You said tensely, the smile on your face becoming less true as you went on. “I- I’ll see you tonight?” You asked, a moment of softness slipping back into you.
You felt it, like a wobble in your knee that could lead to a collapse. You felt the want to seek the comfort she provided you, the way her hands felt on your skin, the gentleness, the safety. You stopped your train of thought with a shudder, another tight smile mocking your lips before you rushed out the door, to your first class.
Larissa stood there, terrified.
…
The first class went well, smoothly even, as did the second. Your third and fourth were simple enough, you used the lunch break in between to grade them. You thanked whatever had created you for your ability to compartmentalize. You had balanced gradebooks, research, missions, and the hospital for years. Granted you hadn’t taught in a few, at least not much other than guest classes.
When Georgianna was alive it was easier. You had maintained a public appearance, collecting donations and sponsorships for research, which in turn funded the hospital. People paid you to expand the grasp of human knowledge, you did so and saved as many children with everything you learned, pioneering research and treatments with the funds that you were given.
You still did now, and Georgianna’s estate money was well invested, constantly making the hospital more money to run on. The money you made from teaching you often donated to outcast schools, the money you made from writing often went to both the hospital and your funds, there was enough money, but you had forgotten how difficult it was to keep both Dr. Ophelia Florere and the Medic alive and functioning.
It was hard.
It was exhausting.
The knock sounded at your greenhouse door and your eyes snapped up, unnerving the blonde looking at you in worry. You nodded, and she came in, just as your phone rang. You both flinched at it this time, yet you glanced at the number, answering it.
“Ya ‘bout ready, Angel?” Came Sugar’s southern draw, and you hummed tiredly, wincing at the callsign.
“Yes, routine, no bells and whistles.” You said calmly, the call dropping as Larissa stared at you. You already looked so worn through, she didn’t want you to go.
“I have to.” You said quietly, grading the last of the quizzes you were on.
“I- I know.” She replied cautiously, and you hummed.
“I’ll still be back tonight, it might be late- I- I might not have all my wits about me.” You admitted quietly, and Larissa’s eyes widened for a moment. She knew you were referring to the smoke, the opium you took when you could barely handle what you saw. Her lips twitched down slightly.
“Why do you- if it hurts you that much why do you go?” She asked quietly, already knowing the answer. You went stiff for a moment, remembering something, and Larissa felt terrified she might have asked the wrong question.
“I have to.” You said carefully, almost… you sounded guarded, and it made her sharp intake of breath sound pained.
“I’m sorry.” She said quickly, and you looked up again. Your eyes softened as you looked at her, your hold as the doctor slipping for a moment as Ophelia came more willingly.
“Come here, please?” You asked her, and she walked towards you immediately, hesitating just next to where you were sitting at your desk. You tapped the spot next to the pile of quizzes you were grading with a gloved hand, the woman sitting there slowly, tentatively.
“Ophelia, I- Oh! ” She gasped as you laid your head in her lap, sitting there silently. You didn’t get up from your desk, your hands moving to settle on her hips as you held her, your shoulders tight with how desperately you were trying to hold yourself together.
“I will come back to you, I promise.” You breathed, trying desperately to hold back tears, your teeth gritting so hard you nearly tasted blood. At any other time the woman would have been flushed at this position, but now it was so clear that was not the reason for this kind of touch. You laid your head on her lap, your arms around her, you were shaking with the grasp you had on her. This was desperation.
“It’s- what I’m doing this time isn’t dangerous, it’s all in my lab, and I swear to you I will come back.” You rasped, barely holding yourself together. You were terrified, she realized. Utterly terrified.
Her hands crept to you slowly, making you gasp as she rested them on your arms, stroking up and down them, attempting to ease the tension there. Something was terrifying you, something more than what you were going to work on. Something to do with her.
“I know that I get called away, but this isn’t- you aren’t- i’m not-” You didn't have the words, tightening your grip on yourself in an attempt to not sob into the woman.
“Ophelia,” She said softly, and you looked up at her, red rings around your eyes. “I’ll still be here.” She said gently, and your eyes went wide.
“I know, of course, the school, this is where you-”
“Ophelia,” She tried again, and you cut yourself off. “I will still be here, waiting for you.” She said, the firmness in her voice surprising you. You nodded, the words melting into you, a bit mystified at the woman.
“I’m sorry,” You whispered, your voice so broken she thought you may just collapse then and there. “I want, I want to be yours, but I can’t right now.” You said as if that was the last thing she would ever allow you to say to her.
“When you come back, can you be mine?” She asked you, and you blinked, taken aback by the question.
“I- I’m not sure but I-” You cut yourself off, falling silent for a long moment. “I would like to be.” You eventually whispered, and she nodded, her hand grasping your cheek and wiping away tears you didn’t realize you had shed.
“Then you will.” She said gently, and she could feel the moment you relaxed into her palm, giving yourself up to her for a few final moments. Your eyes slipped closed, your face somewhere between relief and a deep, deep sadness she couldn’t hope to understand.
There was a small popping sound behind Larissa, followed by a slight gasp, and she turned over her shoulder to see Sugar standing there, blatantly shocked at how close you were, how vulnerable you were with the shifter.
“Just a moment.” She said quietly, and Sugar nodded, turning to look at some of the plants on the walls as Larissa stroked your cheek.
You seemed to be coming out of it, if slowly, the walls coming back up.
“I have to go.” You rasped, your eyes still closed.
“Then let me say one thing first.” She asked, and you nodded. She leaned down, her body and warmth covering you as her lips came to your ear.
“I love you, Ophelia, everything you are, not just when you’re with me.” She whispered, and you shuddered, nearly melting into her hand for a moment, feeling her lips ghost over your temple, pressing a soft kiss there before she pulled away. You allowed her a few more strokes along your arms before your eyes opened, hard as ice, and she knew she was looking at the Medic.
You stood, brushing yourself off and squeezing her hand, a slight comfort in the face of the iron resolve you pulled around yourself.
“I’ll see you tonight.” You said, and she nodded, watching you teleport with Sugar, the weight in her chest slightly less.
…
“You love her.” Sugar said as soon as the two of you landed at the manor.
“Mmm,” You hummed in response, still uncomfortable with the words.
“I know you don’t say things like that but, i’m glad you do.” She nodded, and you hummed again, walking into the manor house.
It was easy to slip into the persona of the medic here, that’s who you were, more often than not. When Georgianna was alive there had been more time to be yourself, but now, now you worked. You walked into the house, calmly making your way down the stairs in the main entrance, to the basement. You walked through it, Sugar on your tail, as you went from the storage area, to a wine cellar, to a cleaning closet, filled with supplies.
Your hand reached towards a bottle of bleach, placing your thumb on the hidden scanner in the handle. Your thumb print was taken without a sound or flash of light, completely void of clues to anyone else to grab the bottle.
From there a wall shifted slightly to reveal a panel, where you had your retina scanned, your voice code input, and a pin pad number. Anywhere else you would have considered it overkill, but here, here it terrified you that one day this might not be enough.
The room began to expand, the back wall sliding back to make more space, enough to transport hospital beds and rooms of people, if you wished.
There was a service elevator in the basement that went to the rest of the house, any mobility or lack thereof could be easily accommodated, and transports were made simple. You typed in yet another passcode before selecting a floor number, and the room began to move down, deep down, into what truly was the Night Hospital.
Your lab was one of the lowest floors, the only thing under it the armory and escape tunnels, and at fourteen floors below ground level, you hoped you never had to use them. You stepped out of the elevator to a long hallway, a few people walking about. There were no children down here today, no intakes, and the few people who spent their time down in the lab walked in a somber, numbed state.
Moss was the first to notice you, walking along at your side as you went to the end of the hall, the giant fogged glass blast doors capable of a vacuum seal and accompanying panel next to them making her wary.
You punched in the code for your lab as you grew a small flower, placing it in a scanner, evaluating the flower and the genetic origin of it, which then allowed you access to the lab. The doors opened and you walked into the receptacle, the both of you putting on protective equipment as Sugar said her goodbyes and hurried back upstairs.
You adored the young woman, and she was wonderful in the field, but very few people had the stomach for this. You pulled your hair back, slipping on your lab coat and a face mask as Moss did the same, however also with a headcap and glasses. You were notoriously casual about your own safety, something which concerned the few staff that went into your lab with you.
The outer doors shut and locked before the inner ones opened, the small electronic beep letting you know the seal had been broken.
The both of you stepped in to find Jenkins already waiting for you, staring at three bodies on your work tables, all covered with sheets. You flipped a switch on a board next to the door, a light lighting up red outside your door, warning others you were working with biohazardous material.
From what you could tell this was an injection, with dosing sites, and no reason to spread, however no one other than the three of you in the room should have to see what was left of these bodies. To show a human what their corpse could be made into would be cruel.
“I’m leaving at dawn.” You said firmly, finding a pair of gloves. Jenkins scanned over you for a moment before sighing, sitting to watch you work. He may not have the expertise, but he wouldn’t make you do this alone.
“Bless that woman.” He sighed heavily, glancing up as if he was praying to Larissa. You scoffed at the man, acting as if he had been teasing, when the both of you knew the truth. You used to stay awake, working yourself to nothing for days on end, your record for consecutive hours without sleeping being somewhere around eighty-six. You pulled on a pair of nitrile gloves, the blue of them covering your blackened fingers as Jenkins breathed a small sigh of relief.
The only one, who had ever had remotely any sway over you coming out of your lab had been Gorgianna, and even then the woman almost never managed it. After she had died well… there was little hope for anyone managing to convince you out of it. You had slept down here for over a month, hunched over the desk after having passed out from the denial of rest.
He remembered the day Georgianna died, the day the woman who had become his whole world, who had given him you - the closest thing he had to family, had left this world. He feared the woman he once knew in you, who they had raised together, had left it too. He remembered nights he sat outside the blast doors on a stool, smoking cigar after cigar, despite the fact that he wasn’t to smoke underground, praying to the ghost of Georgianna to convince you to rest, to stop, to come out.
He remembered dragging your passed out body back topside, laying you down in the garden after your relapses, stroking your hair gently as he prayed the sun warmed your skin and the tree you lay under - Georgianna’s tree, could give you some comfort.
It took years for you to get fully clean again, it took longer for you to at least go up to your office, above ground, to sleep. He couldn’t remember a time, barring when you needed to pick up your niece, that you had set a schedule to stop at after Georgianna’s death, and even then you often reneged on it.
He watched you work, Moss assisting you at the microscopes and machines, you kept her away from the bodies, sparing the woman from that at least, as he pulled out some paper and a pen, beginning a letter as he watched you.
Dear Tippi,
I’m watching our girl again. I know that you don’t know what that
means, but it’s important you know. Your aunt was a strange
woman, a very powerful and often kind woman, but strange
nonetheless. She had a sense of magic in her, a way to calm
Ophelia, or at least try to. I don’t know how she did it, if I did i’d
do anything to learn to do the same. Forgive me, i’m much older
than you two, and have old world enough in my blood to believe
in things like magic, and fate. Things that you kids, especially our
esteemed scientist, scoff at.
There are things you need to know about Ophelia, some things
even I can’t tell you, but there are a few I can. She loves you. She
loves you enough to set a time to stop working, something she barely
does for her niece and more often that not even Georgie couldn’t
get her to do. She loved your aunt like a mother, and while the
relationship between the two of them was, well, complicated is a
nice way of putting it, your aunt loved her like her own. Perhaps if
you want to come back some time I’ll get out the old films of them,
Phill may have been seventeen, but make no mistake that she was
grown when we got her. There were more fights, and screaming,
and great fuck that one time when they synched cycles, I am aware
of my classification but having what amounts to your sister and your
kid in a screaming match over the correct type of canned peaches is
enough to make a vampire hate blood. (Forgive my lack of eloquence,
those two always handled correspondence).
There was a time, and it may be difficult to understand, but there
was a time that we were all family. Your aunt, Ophelia, myself and
a few others you’ll sadly never meet, were family, but I want you to
know something. She never forgot about you. Either of them.
Georgianna spent her days trying to track you down, this place was
originally made to house the kids she found trying to find you. Ophelia
only came back when Georgianna finally asked for her help to find
you. Granted, Philly didn’t know that you were the one Georgie was
looking for, but it was for you that she began to work here too,
whether she knew it or not.
Ophelia’s ability to research, well, that I can’t say is human, outcast
or not, but it is thanks to her dedication to repaying the women that
saved her, both her mind and her body. She’s mad as a hatter, don’t
forget that, but the fact that she is still Ophelia, not only the doctor
is thanks to the comfort images of you gave her, it would do you well
to remember that. Now I’m not saying that you have to do anything
stupid or make promises, believe me, you’d probably terrify the lass,
but you should know that this family has always had you in it, and if you
wish to claim that place, we’d be more than happy to have you.
With love,
Fergus E. Jenkins
P.S. If you’d ever consider allowing the kids to write you letters, they’re big
fans (not as big as Georgianna, of course, the woman sobbed in pride
when she found you after you got into Cambridge, there was a hell of a
party the day you graduated) But they all look up to you, and a few have
asked if they could write since Philly knows you. No worries if that’s too
much, just let me know.
Jenkins looked up, watching you work. You were always precise as the doctor, or medic, both were the same person really. He sighed, exiting the lab to call Sugar, having her take the letter meant for Larissa.
…
About an hour and a half after you left, before the school day even ended, Larissa heard a knock on her office door. Far too early for you to be back.
“Come in,” She called, looking up expecting to see a student, teachers usually informed her before popping by. She felt her heart freeze in her chest when Sugar and Mirella stood awkwardly at her door, holding something in each of their hands. She stood up so fast the chair behind her nearly went flying, her heart in her throat.
“Is she alright-” She panicked, and Mirella was over to her in a moment, nodding as she reached for the older shifter’s hand.
“Yes, yes, she’s fine, Ophelia is fine, she’s just in the lab.” Mirella said soothingly, and Larissa felt her heart start to slow down. She breathed in shakily, looking to both young women.
“Are you alright then? Is something going on, do you need anything?” She asked quickly, and both women glanced to eachother with a small smile before looking at her.
“Yes, we’re fine.” Sugar chuckled, and Mirella rolled her eyes.
“Jenkins asked her to deliver something for you and I was wondering if maybe I could- I mean if you’re not busy maybe I could, er, watch you work?” Mirella hesitated, and Larissa raised a brow.
“You’d like to watch me work?” She asked, and Mirella nodded, swallowing.
“Yes, sorry- I don’t have any classes today and I’m to find a teacher I find inspiring for a project, and I’ve written about you for projects like that before, however I was wondering if maybe I could shadow you, or interview you? I mean not to sound like a stalker, but I’ve read just about everything written about your career.” She swallowed, blushing furiously.
Sugar snorted, causing Mirella to elbow her in the side, the Texan wincing before she quieted down.
“Not that- ok I don’t know anything about your personal life, other than well, Ophelia , but that wasn’t research, that was just happening upon that, but I just- you’re very inspiring, and I was wondering if that would be alright, if not, totally understand, I won’t ask again and i’m sure Ophelia will read me the riot act for accosting you.” She tried to joke, and Larissa stayed still for a moment, her lips parted in shock.
Sugar cringed and dropped a letter on her desk, slowly looking at anything other than the two shifters.
Mirella’s heart fell.
“I’m sorry, I should have known that would be odd, I- I’ll see you around home, if you visit again, apologies Miss Weems.” She swallowed, shame flooding her.
“Mirella, wait!” Larissa called, and the girl looked up in hope. “I would be happy to have you as a shadow for the rest of the evening, however school is almost over, so if you wish to see us during hours perhaps you can come back another time as well?” She suggested, a small smile playing on her lips.
Mirella squealed. She ran up to the woman in absolute delight, tightly squeezing her shoulders in thanks before grabbing her satchel from beside herself and pulling out a notebook and pen.
“Thank you, Thank you, Thank you!!!” She squeaked, and Larissa laughed, Sugar shaking her head at the younger woman.
“Hey, hand me a bit a’ paper so I can give Miss Weems here the pager number if she gets sick of ya.” Sugar teased, and Mirella immediately calmed down, mildly embarrassed by her excitement as she did just that, Sugar writing the number down and handing it to the elegant woman behind the desk.
“Uhhh,” She drawled for a minute, staring at the woman. “Ok, Angel won’t care, so house rules, the pager works anywhere in th’ world, it hooks up ta my pager and any phone, so no charge, thank ya Ophelia’s CIA contacts. Basically if ya need ta go somewhere that would take a plane: ya call me. Ya need to get out of somewhere in an emergency: Ya call me. Ya need tampons: YOU DO NOT CALL ME. ” She bit at Mirella, who scoffed.
“It was ONE time and it was mid-lecture, I was wearing WHITE!” She defended, and Sugar smirked.
“But yeah, ya need someone or something picked up: ya call me. Anything that goes ta it’s encrypted, if it’s an emergency the code’s red, however if ya don’t remember just say emergency, no worries.” She smiled, and Larissa was wide eyed and amazed. She smiled a bit at a realization, they were letting her into your world.
“Thank you, Miss… Do they really just call you Sugar?” She asked, and Sugar shrugged.
“My name is Sugar in the same way Philly’s name is Angel, it’s my callsign. Jenkins goes by Maverick, we all have ‘em.” She explained. “I just prefer goin’ by Sugar in life too, the uh, the real name has some less than pretty memories.” She grimaced a bit, and Larissa nodded in understanding. The last name she was born with still made her shudder to this day if she heard it, she wondered if you knew it.
“Understood, Miss Sugar, and thank you, for this, I appreciate the trust it takes to give it to me.” She said gently, and Sugar scoffed.
“Oh, it’s not us that are uptight, you went through Phil, she’s the insane one, if she trusts you then you can fuckin walk right in.” She laughed, and Mirella nudged her again.
“SUGAR! You are in a School!” She hissed, and the Texan rolled her eyes again.
“Exhausting, you Brits and your worry, i’m sure the kids have heard ‘fuck’.” She rolled her eyes, only to find Larissa staring at her firmly and Mirella glaring. The woman shuddered. “Right, well as much as I would love to be on the receiving end of two six foot beauties staring at me, Phil will kill me if I upset her girls, so see ya!” She called, popping out of existence and leaving the both of them just standing there, Larissa blushing.
“Her Girls?” She asked the younger shifter, who chuckled.
“Oh she really loves you.” She smirked at the older woman, who turned a brighter red.
…
You stood over the white sheet, moving it back slowly. You had went over all you could do without actually looking already, there was nothing left for you to do other than examine the body, or what was left of it.
You had long sent Moss away, Jenkins had come back into the room, sitting quietly at a counter far away from the work tables the bodies were on. Moss didn’t have the stomach for this, and Jenkins well… if Jenkins hadn’t been a centuries old vampire you would have sent him away as well. You had seen the pictures, you knew what was waiting for you.
For a moment you almost wished someone else could do this, someone other than you, yet to condemn someone to that would be the worst thing you could do to a person. No one who cared this much should have to look at the beings no one cared for at all.
You lifted the sheet away, swallowing down any reaction you had to the first body.
It was a girl, from what you could tell, maybe thirteen, with glazed over deep green eyes, and dirty blonde hair, thinned from what you could guess was malnutrition. Her cheeks were sunken, her lips cracked and blue, she had been dead for a few hours and the blood was beginning to settle in her body, giving her a palid, bruised look. There were contusions around her wrists, neck and ankles, the classic restraints, as well as her upper thighs.
You tried not to feel the realization that they had strapped her down to keep her from bucking. This wasn’t just to keep someone somewhere, these were the marks of someone fully immobilized.
You took stock of the state of her nails, caked with blood, scratches on her inner palms showing she had done it to herself, a distraction. Her throat showed signs of damage when you opened her mouth, the larynx red, raw, and split, she had gone screaming. Everything pointed to one conclusion, the one you couldn’t let yourself process, not yet.
This girl was alive when they did this.
You looked away for a moment, you hadn’t even gotten to the bad part yet, you had to keep it together. You could feel your hands trembling, your throat tight as you fought back the urge to scream, cry, to rage for this girl who had been destroyed.
You stared at the floor of your lab, the white tile, so easy to clean and sweep away the blood often spilled in it. So easy to forget.
You wanted to forget.
A familiar itch scratched at your forearms, one you hated yet longed for all the same.
You wanted the sweet rush of release that came when you injected yourself, the warmth that came with the plunge of the needle into your forearm. Morphine was good, morphine felt like a hug, one you could stand the touch of, being carried away on a breeze, but good lord did you miss the stronger ones.
Heroin had been your favorite, it was a similar effect, but so much stronger, so much faster, so much better.
Nights like this, bodies like this made you miss it, the feeling of release, allowing yourself to fall into nothingness, into so deep a trance it was almost death. You missed her, you had always called the drug a ‘she’, a personification, your mistress and undoing.
You missed her.
You heard a throat clear across the lab, your eyes snapping to Jenkins, who was staring at you with that look again, the one that meant he had caught yours.
He tapped your pipe on the counter, filled with opium to take the edge off. The man allowed your vices, as long as they didn’t destroy you.
“Remember, lass, remember.” He said quietly as you lit it up, your eyes full of an ache he recognized- one that still terrified him, as you went back to your work.
You pulled the sheet off her torso, already knowing what you would see, feeling the drug slowly, achingly slowly, dampen your emotions just enough not to scream in anguish, to collapse to the floor sobbing, and never get up again, to feel your power overwhelm your body, the black crawl up your arms until it choked you, eating you alive.
You looked down at the body, cold, unmoving, willing yourself to be unfeeling as you looked at her, what was left of her. Her torso had been cut open, a deep Y-shape, similar to how one would conduct an autopsy. The ribs had been cracked open, cut away, but what terrified you, what made this so far removed from anything you had ever seen, was her chest cavity.
There were no organs left. All that remained was a massive amalgamation of partially liquid flesh and slop, all partially dissolved and mutated. This is what was left of inside her. You took samples, put them through your equipment, knowing what you were testing for.
Her blood tests were all positive for a drug that the more sadistic scientists on the other side had been working on.
An inverse to S-15, and it seems they had went too far this time. The girl was injected with a drug designed to make her shift, to force her to mutate and change her body far faster- far longer than any shifter could, let alone a starved child. They had forced her to use her ability until it killed her, her body had literally changed and mutated until it had dissolved.
She had shifted herself to death.
You took samples, you marked down everything you could, took pictures and wrote notes, annotated diagrams. You ran test after test after test, feeling yourself become sicker, more exhausted with every answer.
Every finding broke you just that much more. You stitched her up as much as you could, closed her eyes, brushed her hair, covered her wounds.
And then you turned to the next body.
…
Larissa and Mirella were laughing in her office, it was late, midnight, yet the two stayed close. They knew, they may distract themselves with talk of the school they attended, and the one Larissa ran, the one Mirella hoped to found one day, yet they both knew. They stayed because neither wanted to be alone, neither wanted to think of you alone, in your lab, sorting through whatever fresh hell had been delivered to you.
Mirella laughed at a snide remark of the older woman’s about a professor she now had, thankfully not Dr. Thresh, who, as she had informed the blonde, had been promptly fired, disgraced, and seemed to be being sued, yet that was another thing entirely.
A quiet knock sounded at the door, one neither heard in their laughter. In fact, for just a moment they had allowed themselves to enjoy knowing another like them, an older or younger mirror to a different world.
You stood in the doorway, watching them silently. Larissa’s eyes lit up, her smile beaming at the younger shifter. Mirella was entranced, mesmerized at her hero. God they looked like, they looked like home.
You cleared your throat, two pairs of bright eyes snapping to you, Larissa standing immediately and Mirella’s breath hitching. You had changed, clearly. The long cotton pants you wore were somewhat thin, as if you had slept in them countless times. Looking closer, they were pajama pants, it seemed. You had a shirt of some kind on, likely a tank top, a black robe hanging off your shoulders, similarly worn and soft, as you held a towel in your hands.
Your gloves were off, there wouldn’t be much point in putting them back on, not until your hands stopped. Your hair was down, wet as if you had just showered, a bit of the warmth from it still flushing your skin, you had seemingly stepped out, changed, and come right here. Your eyes were tired, rimmed with red, with deep bags under them, as if you had lost a year’s worth of sleep in the last ten hours, yet you were there.
“ Oh ,” Mirella breathed, not used to seeing you this undressed, this vulnerable. You often wore makeup, especially to cover your exhaustion, and your clothing was always put together to cover everything, you certainly never let the kids- grown or not- see your bleeding hands.
She knew they could bleed, if you had been too worked up, too stressed, or used your ability too much. It wasn’t like the black that grew up your arms, it wouldn’t kill you, it was just your body punishing you for pushing it too far, for using your ability in tandem with your research, growing living cells to test on, to try to find the reaction that would start to unravel just what had been used on the shifters.
The white towel you were holding your hands in had drops of red staining it, yet you were careful enough to not allow it on the floor. What shocked Mirella however, what truly shocked her, was the small smile you had on your face watching the two of them.
“A party without me, I see?” You teased, your voice tight and tired, yet a bit of light coming back to your eyes.
“Phelia,” Larissa said softly, her eyes wide in worry, but you just shook your head, walking over to where the two were, Larissa on the couch and Mirella in the chair next to it, and sat next to the woman you loved, crossing your legs elegantly and burying your hands in the towel as you leaned back, closing your eyes for a moment.
“Larissa, do you have-”
“Where’s your brandy?” Mirella cut you off, and you sighed a bit, part of you ashamed at how much the girl knew, how much she had seen. She was younger then Elianna, but she had seen you before you were clean, she knew what you missing it looked like. You hated that she did.
“I'll get it, I have some in the desk, it’s-”
“Stay with her, just tell me where.” The younger woman cut her off, her eyes serious, but gentle. This wasn’t an emergency, this was just aftermath.
You went deaf to the world as the two spoke, Larissa informing her where the key was and Mirella pouring you a glass. She set it down in front of you, and you lifted the bundle of towel your hands were in, chuckling dryly.
“Thank you, dear, in a moment.” You sighed tiredly, willing your hands to stop bleeding faster.
You heard Larissa shift on the couch next to you, your eyes still closed, before you felt a hand slip around your face. You gasped, your eyes fluttering open as you looked into hers, awestruck for a moment.
“Here,” She offered gently, lifting the glass for you. You swallowed, staring into her eyes as she tilted the glass to your lips, allowing you a sip before bringing the glass back down to hold it in her lap.
She was close to you, very close, but not touching, not other than the hand she had used on your cheek to guide you. You glanced down, realizing she had put some space between the two of you, giving it to you if you needed it. You just nodded, tears coming to your eyes as you looked at the woman you loved, not having the words to thank her, to tell her how much you loved her. To tell her how much it meant to you to find her with Mirella, how much it healed you to see them laughing together, waiting for you.
“What- what happened?” Mirella braved, and you shook your head, refusing to answer the question, your eyes slipping closed again for a moment. Larissa could still smell the smoke on you, yet she knew you had put out the pipe before entering the school. She felt her heart squeeze at the realization that she was likely why.
“Tell me what you two have been up to.” You countered, and the younger woman looked at you in worry.
“Was it…” she trailed, and you both knew what she was going to ask. To upset you this much, to have you this unwilling to speak, she could guess you had been looking at her own classification.
“How much of a threat is it, if I need to help, I could-“
“Mirella,” you choked brokenly, your voice heavy with tears, and the girl’s jaw almost dropped. You never let her see you cry. “Please, dear I- not tonight.” You swallowed, leaning forward and staring down at the floor as you braced your elbows on your knees, unable to look at either of them. It was silent for a long while, you could hear your heart pounding again, feel your hands shaking, feeling your control of your own emotions be pushed right to the edge.
“She was telling me about Nevermore.” Mirella said cautiously, and you nodded, leaning back into the couch again. “And I was telling her about you.” She smiled a bit, and you furrowed your brows for a moment, confused, before you realized she was teasing you, attempting to put a smile on your face. You hummed again, this time warmer, as you opened your eyes to look between the two of them.
Mirella was looking at you with hope in her eyes, worry, but an attempt to soothe it. Larissa, on the other hand, was attempting to hide her worry, her fingers gripping around the glass tightly to control herself from reaching towards you, running her hands over your body to make sure you were alright, that you would be alright.
You sighed deeply, pulling your legs to tuck under yourself, away from her as you placed your hands carefully on your lap, still wrapped in their bundle. You leaned back slowly, tentatively at first, putting your back to the couch and your shoulder against her, before feeling the deep sigh of relief she exhaled upon feeling you again. You glanced over your shoulder, to see the woman on the verge of tears. Your own eyes went wide for a moment.
“Oh- it’s, it's alright darling, it will be alright.” You said softly, she inhaled shakily. “I’ll be alright.” You whispered, leaning back into her just a little bit more.
They told you about what they had discussed, you nodding and humming despite your closed eyes for an hour or so more.
Mirella was amazed, tears of sheer happiness and hope filling her eyes when you slipped off into sleep, Larissa’s arms around you, as she and the older shifter continued to speak.
Notes:
P.S. Happy Father's Day to those who celebrate, and those who don't enjoy some prime found-family father behavior from Jenkins.
KoFi for tips (Much appreciated, loves): https://ko-fi.com/miss_v_257
Discord for chats/questions/Q&As?Fan Art/etc: https://discord.gg/x8gXysFdy4
Chapter 33: Broken Down
Summary:
Larissa sees you at your lowest, the most shameful part of you bared to her and your niece, yet just as she thinks you may finally loose yourself to the darkness, love sweeps you off your feet, breaking down more boundaries than you ever have before.
WARNING: Discussions of drug use & addiction/Addiction/Smut
Notes:
I'm only two days late this time! We're getting better! I am doing my best to respond to comments, but please know that I read and adore every single one, and may or may not stay up after I post to see what ya'll think. I really hope you enjoy this chapter, can't wait to hear any thoughts!
Discalmer: I truly cannot believe i’m saying this, but Ophelia canonically tastes like plant related things- as she is literally genetically different. Vaginas are suposed to taste like vaginas, and that is not something to be ashamed of, this is fiction and that is character flare. Please don’t take the fantasy smut literally.
Chapter Text
Wednesday stormed through the halls of Nevermore. She couldn’t find you, she could always find you, but now of all times she couldn’t. She went to your room, your classroom, even Headmistress Weems’ room, and she couldn’t find you.
She felt a sick feeling deep in her stomach, something was wrong, very wrong, she had a dream, a dream of you in the lab, and bodies. She saw you with syringes, and your arms, bruises and blood littered them, and she couldn’t find you.
She knew what it looked like, she knew what track marks looked like, she had learned. She knew you didn’t know she had, but she had learned. Whether or not you wanted her to.
She stormed towards the headmistress’s office, expecting to demand your location, ready to yell at the woman, to threaten her until she found you.
What she found, however, stopped her in her tracks.
Her headmistress was sitting on the couch in the office, Mirella was here, lounging in a chair next to the couch, but you , you shocked her to her core.
You were there, asleep on the headmistress, asleep on Larissa. She held you to her body, your own resting against her chest, her hand playing with your hair as Larissa looked down at you in worry.
Wednesday stopped, she paused in the doorway as her heart pounded in her ears, looking at the two of you. You had fallen asleep, on her. You trusted her that much, to let her touch you when you weren’t even conscious. What truly shocked her however was when you sighed, nuzzling deeper into the woman as best you could, seeking out her comfort in sleep. There was a small smile on your face, and Wednesday walked towards you, mystified.
Mirella noticed her first, her eyes widening.
“You- you’re, Miss Wednesday?” She asked tentatively, aware of who she was, but having never met her. The only one from your other life she had met was Jenkins, but she and Mirella were aware of each other. Ath least vaguely. After all, they had both been on the receiving end of your mothering more times then they could count.
Larissa froze, staring wide eyed at the girl. This was likely something you would like to be awake for, she looked angry, and panicked, and Larissa had no clue how to-
“Has she ever… done that before?” Wednesday asked Mirella, glancing to you, her face still locked in neutrally displeased, Larissa’s heart thundering. Mirella shook her head, watching the girl. She did look a little like you, it seemed, the shape of her eyes, the way she scanned over the room, Mirella could see the relation, even if it wasn’t as obvious as it might be.
“Not to my knowledge, no.” She answered carefully, glancing from a frozen Larissa to your niece. She walked slowly to the two of you, the headmistress entirely unable to read the girl.
Wednesday sat on the edge of the couch, watching you. You looked, peaceful.
Her hands reached for yours slowly, Larissa’s eyes wide on her as the young girl unfolded the towel around your hands, seeing that you were no longer bleeding and taking it away. You groaned a bit at the feeling of someone moving your hands in your sleep, turning into the blonde under you a little more, her breath hitching as you moved closer. You weren’t doing anything truly inappropriate, you were asleep after all, but you had certainly never been this… intimate with her in front of your niece. You had laid down with her once, when you were very heavily injured, but for Wednesday to walk in on you when you were asleep in her arms, she-
“Did you check?” The girl asked quietly, and Larissa furrowed her brows.
“Check for what, dear?” She asked softly, swallowing down the blush at being caught in this position. Wednesday sighed, glancing sideways to Mirella, the strawberry blonde shaking her head.
“No but Jenkins didn’t- Wednesday!” She hissed as the girl took your hands, pushing the sleeves up. For the first time, Larissa saw Wednesday hesitate. She pushed the sleeve halfway up your forearm, her hands shaking slightly.
The girl looked terrified.
“Miss Wednesday, Jenkins would have said.” the younger shifter sighed, standing and walking over to her. “Careful, she’ll startle.” She whispered, kneeling down on the floor next to your body. She took Wednesday’s hand away, Larissa gaping as the girl seemed too worried to realize that this was someone she had never met before touching her. Larissa knew you had raised the young shifter, at least in part. She knew all the children at the hospital, especially the older ones, considered you family, and she had an idea that Mirella was special, yet seeing her now, seeing the way her hands moved carefully to limit her physical contact with someone who may not want it, the gentleness of her movements as to not startle someone, she had never been more aware that the girl was, in a way, yours.
Mirella placed Wednesday’s hands back on her lap, taking the sleeve of your robe and very gently pushing it up your arm, past your elbow, until both of them could look at the inside of your arm.
It was clean.
Wednesday sighed deeply, getting up and pacing around the room nervously.
“She can’t- she can’t go through that again.” Wednesday shook, her normally unflinching demeanor crumbling.
“Miss Wednesday,” Mirella tried, glancing from the girl to Larissa. Larissa may have known her longer, but the context of their relationship made talking far more difficult, trying to navigate where the Principal and Student ended and the woman currently cradling her aunt began.
“I saw it, you don’t understand I saw it.” She gritted, her hands balling into fists. “And you!” She glared at her headmistress. “If you even think about hurting her, what I will do will make what what I was going to do to Xaviar seem pleasant. ” She hissed, and Larissa’s eyes went wide. She knew the girl was protective of you, but that- that was something different altogether. “She has been through so much.” Wednesday gritted. “She is the strongest person I know, but if you hurt her, I will destroy you.” She spat, storming over to the headmistress and pointing her finger in her face, only to feel a warm hand close around her wrist before Larissa could even say a word.
She gasped, looking down at you, your wide eyes staring up at her, your face full of worry, but your expression soft.
“My love,” you called her softly, and Wednesday stopped, tears filling her eyes as she reached down your arms, pulling your sleeves back to stare at them. You froze. She wasn’t looking at the scars winding up your arms, no, she was looking at your inner elbows, along your veins. You placed one of your hands over hers, looking up at the girl, swallowing down the guilt and shame that flooded you.
She knew.
If she was looking there, then she knew. She knew about the injections then, the addictions.
“How long have you known?” You asked her, your voice hoarse, and Wednesday shook her head.
“You don’t do that anymore, that’s what matters.” She said, refusing to let herself be affected by the vulnerability in your eyes, in the way you were laid back, looking as she sat next to you, your legs having fallen off the couch, her hip pressed to yours.
She had never seen you so, open to attack, before.
“Wednesday, darling, how long have you known?” You asked her, your voice still firm, yet there was a waiver to it Wednesday had never heard before. She hesitated, looking away from your eyes, they were far too intense.
“There was, there was a weekend a few years ago, you were supposed to take me to Rome, my mother dropped me off in your apartment, with Sugar, but we couldn’t find you. There was a note saying you would be back from the lab in an hour, so Jenkins came so my mother could go back to Pugsly.” She began, and you felt a deep shame rising in you, a horror. She tilted her head, her voice going uncharacteristically quiet, as if she didn’t want to break something. “We found you in the decontamination room.” She whispered, and you felt shame flood your being, a crack ring through your chest, shattering you.
The room was so quiet they could all hear all that you were shatter.
You didn’t move, didn’t flinch, and yet the moment was deafening to everyone there.
It was you, it seemed, Wednesday had been trying not to break you. You cleared your throat, nodding your head once as you pulled the sleeves down your arms.
Larissa could see you force it down, and it broke her heart. You may shatter, but you would let nothing slip through the cracks.
“And you know what- what it was?” You asked her, your voice cold.
“It’s morphine, right? You took morphine?” She asked you, and you felt yourself want to sigh in relief, and guilt at having that somehow be better. Mirella shot you a glance, and you shook your head minutely, your jaw stiffening for a moment before you looked back at your niece.
You sat up fully, taking a deep breath in as you wrapped the robe you were wearing around yourself. You could feel Larissa’s eyes burning into you as you sat between her and your niece, tucking your arms into yourself. It was silent, dead silent as you held yourself together in the early hours of the morning.
“I- yes, I was- am, was addicted to morphine.” You nodded slowly. The last thing you wanted to do, ever, was discuss your faults, let alone your addictions, with your niece. Yet you know how much worse lying would be.
Wednesday sat next to you, staring at the same spot on the wall across from you both that you were. It was strange, watching the two of you interact, sitting next to each other, the same closed off position.
Larissa had never heard you say it before. She- she knew, in a way, but you had never said it aloud. Jenkins had said it, but watching you say it, watching not just the shame, but the exhaustion of the shame settling into you, weighing you down as if years and years of shame had worn you away until all you had left was your own aching body and the weight of the shame you carried.
“How long?” Your niece asked, and you nodded, picking up the discarded liquor from earlier.
“Seventeen up until Jenkins told me I was unable to care for you.” You admitted, your voice rough.
“That’s why you, that’s why you quit?” She asked you, and you nodded.
“Yes.” You answered.
“Do you miss it?” She asked you, and you laughed, bitterly. Larissa felt a tear run down her face at the sound of a broken woman.
“Do I- do I miss it,” you laughed, tears coming to your eyes. You sobered a touch, a moment of desperation before you breathed out a broken sigh, closing your eyes. “Yes, I- I miss it.” You swallowed, leaning down and holding your head in your hands for a moment before looking up, back at the wall again.
“What do you do when you miss it?” She asked, and you hummed, nodding.
“I imagine you at my funeral.” You answered calmly, and her eyes went wide as she looked at you. “I imagine you finding me after an overdose, having to know that was how I died.” You sighed. “And I remember that, although my profession may indicate otherwise, I would like to be a part of your life for a very long time.” You smiled a little bit, turning to her. Your niece said nothing, staring straight ahead as she thought, as she grappled with the idea of the woman she knew you to be, and the weakness it seemed you had.
“Have you relapsed?” She asked you swallowed again. Larissa could only see your profile, but she had never seen you as clearly in distress as you were now. The lines on your face had never looked deeper, your eyes had never looked this pained. Even you on the verge of death looked more at peace than you showing your shame to the girl you loved, to anyone, really.
“I have.” You nodded, your breath ragged, and she nodded back.
“When?” She asked, and you hummed.
“Ah- mmm” you tried, clearing your throat when you found you didn’t have the words. “The ah, the anniversary of the death of the woman who, who found me.” You began. “A few particularly bad cases.” You went on. She nodded again, her eyes hard, unforgiving.
“When was the last time?” She asked you, and you sighed deeply, closing your eyes.
“Four years, eight months, two weeks, and… five days.” You counted, and her eyes went minutely wider, turning to finally look at you. It took everything in you not to sob when her eyes met your own.
“You really do-“ she cut herself off. She didn’t need to say it, you both knew. Yes, you did miss it. More than anything, you missed it. Your hands were shaking, she realized, as she glanced at where you had them in your lap.
“How bad was this one?” She asked you, staring at them, and you bit back your wobbly lip, willing tears not to gather in your eyes.
“I believe I’ve seen the worst biomedical case of my career this evening.” You managed to get out, and you saw Mirella shift in shock, wanting to go to you. You felt Larissa lean closer, and good lord, how, even now, did she want to be close to you?
“And do you want to?” Wednesday trailed, and you laughed brokenly, burning your head in your hands for a moment before sniffing and looking up.
“Yes, I am craving it at the moment. Yes, I want the feeling of release it gives me. No, I do not want what it does to me or the person it makes me. No, I do not want to be what it can make me around you all.” You explained carefully, and Wednesday nodded slowly. She looked around you, to the woman sitting next to you. You didn’t notice, too focused on the wall you were staring holes into. She looked at the way the headmistress looked at you, the softness, concern on her features.
Larissa looked at you in a way Wednesday had only ever seen her father look at her mother, and it shook her to her very core.
That was love.
That was the kind of love that had made her and her brother, that lasted for years and years, through the best and worst moments in life. That was the kind of love that kept her parents happy when they had lost everything, when her mother had realized that she had lost you, the closeness she had had with her twin, forever. That was love that lasted beyond everything, and made and grew so much. Larissa looked at you like that, and it nearly knocked her to the floor.
Wednesday could see your hands shaking, and she knew it wasn’t just your fingers that were black at the moment, it likely went up to just past your wrists, and she was sure it was hurting you. It was likely hurting you more than she could imagine. Yet when Larissa’s hand slowly went to your side, not touching, just resting right behind your hip, as if she was holding you without touching you, you didn’t pull away.
You didn’t flinch, didn’t shirk her off, or shift away, if anything it seemed like you almost wanted to lean into it, to turn into the woman and hide from the shame Wednesday could see on your hardened face. She was helping. Larissa, just being next to you, was helping. She looked at you like she loved you, and Wednesday realized how little her aunt had been truly loved, and how much it seemed to heal you.
“Does- If she wasn’t…” She was trying to find the words, and you gave her time, staring ahead into the void. Larissa glanced momentarily to the teen, who locked eyes with her for a moment, startling her. Wednesday seemed to evaluate her, to stare into her eyes with the familiar, threatening gaze she had.
Until it started to melt.
Larissa did her very best not to react as Wednesday’s eyes softened, her deadpan gaze becoming less hard. It was shocking, truly shocking to see the girl soften in front of her, as if a wall was being taken down between the two of them.
For the first time Larissa saw Ophelia’s niece, Wednesday, as opposed to Miss Wednesday Addams, who the rest of the world saw. This was your Wednesday she was looking at, and the similarity between you two had never been so visible. It made her eyes widen slightly as her breath hitched, an urge to comfort the girl slamming her harder than she expected.
Wednesday looked back to you, the wall not going back up.
“Does she help?” She asked you, and your breath hitched, your head tilting slightly in surprise at the question. You turned to face the girl you loved as your own, quite frankly shocked.
“Pardon?” You asked her, and she glanced away briefly before meeting your eyes.
“Miss Weems. Does she help?” She asked you, and your eyes widened a touch, a moment of thought before you nodded, a slightly saddened smile on your face.
“Y- yes, yes I think she does.” You swallowed, your voice breaking, and your niece thought on that for a moment, before nodding and leaning into you, her head on your shoulder, a gesture you reciprocated with your head leaning on hers.
You could feel Larissa’s eyes boring into you.
What you couldn’t see, however, was how her heart soared. You couldn’t see how love flooded her, relief filling her at knowing she could help you. The idea that being near you made the weight just a little lighter, it filled her with warmth.
“I want you to be happy.” Wednesday said carefully, and you hummed, turning and pressing your lips to the top of her head.
“I am the happiest I ever am being your aunt, my dear.” You smiled softly, and she nodded.
“And being Princi- Miss Weems’?” She asked you, and you blushed at the thought, taking a deep breath, but nodded.
That was not a conversation you and Larissa had yet, but given how long the two of you had been connected, the history you shared, and just how- how good it felt to be with her, you couldn’t imagine not coming back to her. You could imagine how it would happen, you could imagine not being able to come back to her, but as long as you physically could, you didn’t know why you would ever not want to.
“Well it’s a, a new, it’s new, but yes, she does make me very happy as well.” You admitted, and Wednesday nodded, leaning away from you and standing up. She walked over to the principal, standing in front of her as both of you, and Mirella, watched in surprise.
“If you hurt her, I will-“ you cut the girl off, the words you uttered stopping her in her tracks.
“La amo, mia cara. (I love her, my darling)” You whispered, and Wednesday froze, her eyes wide as she looked at you.
“Sinceramente? (Truthfully)” the girl asked, the both of you switching to Italian flawlessly, confusing the other two women in the room. You looked up at your niece, your eyes heavy with truth. You nodded once, blinking back a few tears, and she looked in shock between you and her headmistress. “And you’ve told her?” She asked you, and you nodded. Larissa had never seen Wednesday as openly express emotion as she did in shock. “You said- you said the words?” She asked you, and you nodded again, a tear escaping your eyes. Yet this wasn’t a tear of grief, this was her aunt being so overwhelmed by emotion that it seeped out of her.
She turned slowly from you to Larissa, staring at the woman in a way that had her frozen, terrified.
Wednesday meant more than anything in the world to you, she knew that. She knew that if Wednesday hated this, well, there was nothing she could do, and she knew what it would do to you. The girl had seemingly approved before, but knowing how far you two would take things, knowing that she was here to stay for you, to make you happy, that was a level of seriousness she didn’t know if the girl would be alright with. A level of intimacy she didn’t know if Wednesday would forgive.
“Have you ever wanted to kill her?” Wednesday asked her, and her eyes went wide.
“I- pardon?” She stuttered, entirely thrown off.
“My aunt, have you ever wanted to kill her?” She asked, and Larissa blanched, swallowing.
“Miss- Miss Addams I-“
“Wednesday.” The girl corrected, and Larissa’s chest tightened, yet she was not spared from the interrogation.
“Do you love her?” She asked this time, and Larissa’s breath hitched. “Because if you love my aunt, at some point you’ll want to kill her, and you need to love her enough to still love her after. So do you love her that much?” She pushed, her throat getting tight.
This, this Larissa could answer. She breathed in deeply, looking at the girl standing in front of where she sat, staring into her as if she would kill the shifter if she chose the wrong words.
“Mi- Wednesday,” she said softly, and the girl swallowed, her eyes glancing briefly to you. She knew you were in pain. You had always been in pain. Her whole life she knew you loved being around her, that she could make you happy just by being near you, yet she had never been able to take away the pain. She had never been able to get you to talk about it, to make you give her some of what you carried, no matter how desperately she had tried.
She had fought you, clawed and scratched, screamed at you to try to prove what you did to yourself, that you couldn’t go on alone forever. She had seen you crumple to the kitchen floor in Nevermore itself, your hands burned and bloodied, had seen you high to try to stave off the pain, anything to keep it at bay, keep it manageable.
Yet she had always seen you do it all alone.
Larissa took a deep breath in, catching the girl’s attention, who blinked away tears she refused to let gather in her eyes.
“Wednesday, I love your aunt very much.” She said softly, and the girl wanted so badly to believe it, to know you wouldn’t have to be in pain alone anymore, the kind you wouldn’t let her see.
“And you- you know what she does, and this, the- her addic- her addiction and you still love her?” She pressed the woman, her throat closing up and the tears returning.
Wednesday hated crying. She hated crying perhaps more than anything in the world. She had cried for Thing, she had cried for you, but she hated it. Larissa fought back the urge to reach out for the girl, to wipe away her tears. She settled with gently offering her hand, hovering it over the girl’s forearm. When Wednesday didn’t move, she laid it there gently, causing the girl to look to it, but not push her off.
“Wednesday, I know who your aunt is, what she has done and has had to do. There is nothing she could do, nothing that she ever would do, that could make me no longer love her.” She promised the girl, and you looked at the woman in utter shock and adoration. She was solely focused on Wednesday, comforting your niece, yet the way she had so sincerely, so firmly brushed away one of your most shameful secrets had you want to crumple to the floor, sobbing into the woman you loved.
“Do you promise?” Wednesday asked, and Larissa smiled slightly, nodding sincerely.
“I promise.” She said softly, and Wednesday swallowed, tears on the verge of spilling.
“I can’t- she won’t let me see what really hurts her. I don’t want her to be alone with it.” She whispered to the woman. She wanted to trust Larissa, even if it wasn’t in her nature. She wanted so badly to know you weren’t alone. Larissa smoothed her hand down Wednesday’s arm, taking the girl’s hand and holding it firmly.
“I promise you Wednesday, as long as I’m around, as long as she has me, she will not be alone. I swear to you I will make sure she never has to be.” She said, and finally, the tears fell. Wednesday cried. Your heart broke. You cried. Mirella stood, handing you a pair of your gloves she had found left in Larissa’s office and muttering something about Sugar taking her home, and you nodded, putting them on faster than Larissa had ever seen.
You scooped the girl up, pulling her into your lap as you leaned into Larissa, who wrapped her arms around you both. She could feel you both shaking, the fear of loosing the other like nothing she could imagine.
You three stayed like that for a little while, Wednesday buried in your neck, between the two of you, trying to force yourselves to breathe regularly. You stayed quiet, simply holding her, hushing her occasionally as she came back to herself, offering all the comfort you had left in you to the girl you would give anything for, held together by a woman you couldn’t believe would choose to stay. Eventually the clock struck one, and you inhaled sharply, tempted to rush the girl off to bed.
“This means I can’t stay the night in your room anymore, doesn’t it?” She asked you, and you chuckled a bit.
“I’m sure Larissa would permit me our sleepovers.” You chuckled, and the woman smiled down at you, absolutely melting you.
“Certainly, however if you ever pick my bedroom lock again Miss Addams I will still have you expelled.” She teased, and the girl actually laughed. It was more like a small snort, but it was certainly a laugh, and Larissa looked at you in surprise, her cheeks warming, her bright smile splitting her face in utter glee at making your niece laugh for the first time, and damn you if you didn’t want to kiss that look off her face.
“Kindly inform me next time you steal my aunt and I will refrain.” Wednesday countered, and you rolled your eyes at her.
“You may have her Saturday nights, in her quarters, I have no interest in what I can only imagine to be a small horror movie marathon and multiple barely legal activities.” She sighed deeply, already envisioning the chaos you two would get up to.
“That seems fair, however I would like to counter.” She argued, and you scoffed at the two of them.
“Ladies this is not a custody battle, I make my own schedule, thank you?” You snarked, and Larissa hushed you.
“Not now darling,” she practically patted you on the head, making Wednesday smirk as your eyes went wide. “You were saying?” She continued, and Wednesday nodded.
“Yes, I get her Saturday night when requested, given she isn’t at the hospital, and every other week I get the Sunday…” she hesitated for a moment, making your brows furrow in concern over what on earth Wednesday of all people would be shy about asking for. “With you both.” She said, and you could practically feel Larissa’s brows shoot up.
“I- I would like that.” Was all she managed to say, and Wednesday nodded, the both of them adorably awkward in admitting they wanted to spend time with one another. “However as I am still your headmistress there will be no illegal or barely legal activities.” She affirmed, and Wednesday scoffed.
“Fine, no fun. But I get to pick one movie.” She smirked, and you chuckled at the girl, this time causing both of them to glare at you.
“I suppose that would be fair.” Larissa smirked a little, and you could see the light flicker in Wednesday’s eyes.
Her own smile.
You had learned many years ago that your niece did not smile, at least not very often, and not with her lips. You, however, knew when she was smiling, and it only took a glance at her eyes for you to tell. From the way Larissa beamed you realized that perhaps she was learning how Wednesday smiled too.
“There are some things we should tell her then.” Wednesday eventually said, and you raised a brow at the girl, nodding.
“She’s been to the manor, not the hospital, but I imagine someday she will see-”
“Not those things.” Wednesday interrupted you, and you furrowed your brows in slight confusion. She sighed deeply, looking to Larissa and then you, before standing up and sitting next to you. “She doesn’t eat enough, and she certainly doesn’t sleep enough.” Wednesday began, referencing you, and you shot up as you realized what she was on about.
“Wednesday, I don’t think-” You tried, only to be silenced with a glare from the girl.
“Her favorite food is peach cobbler, and I can teach you how to make it, but you’ve seen it.” She continued, and Larissa nodded.
“Perhaps we could make it together next time?” She offered, and Wednesday nodded seriously, your eyes softening at the girl and her attempts to teach the other woman how to care for you.
She was letting her in, and it warmed you instantly.
“Her favorite drink is tea, and you have to pretend you don’t notice her putting whisky in it.” She added and you coughed unexpectedly, your eyes going wide at the fact that it did seem your niece noticed.
“It doesn’t always have whisky in it.” You defended, and she shot you a sideways glance. “It does not! This may shock you but I actually am not an alcoholic.” You snarked, and Wednesday fixed you with yet another glare.
“Technically.” She added to your statement, and you rolled your eyes.
“You do realize that I am not a pet, I take care of myself quite well-” You tried, only to receive matching looks of doubt from both of them.
“Darling,” Larissa hummed in doubt as Wednesday gave you a disbelieving
“Auntie.” You sighed, scoffing at the both of them.
“As much as I would just love to have the both of you discuss my various faults, it is nearing on two in the morning, ladies.” You sighed, and Larissa’s eyes went wide as she looked at her watch.
“Good lord!” She hissed, ushering you both up. You wobbled, a little unsteady on your feet after working for so long and just waking up. She caught you immediately, simply picking you up and placing you on her hip as if you were a small child, making you yelp and Wednesday scoff.
“You have classes tomorrow Miss- Wednesday , and you are teaching darling, so the both of you better be in bed in the next fifteen minutes or so help me god I will find a way to suspend you both.” She rushed, taking your niece by the hand and steering her out of the office, you just staring at the woman in shock as she essentially lifted you with one arm.
Your arms were wrapped around her shoulders, your legs grabbing onto the taller woman on sheer instinct as she held you, walking your niece towards the dormitories. She saw the girl most of the way there, watching her disappear up the steps to Ophelia Hall, the irony of the name not lost on you, before feeling your hand cupping her jaw and turning to look at you, still in her arms.
“Hello there.” You hummed, and she blushed at realizing how much she had taken charge of the situation.
“I- I apologize, I shouldn’t have-” she stuttered, realizing she had given you absolutely no say in where you were going or what was going on. You chuckled a little bit, your cheeks coloring slightly.
“I’ve been picked up and thrown many a time, but not carried nearly as often.” You laughed a little, and she smiled breathlessly at you, shifting how she was holding you in her arms to carry you bridal style back to her rooms.
“Larissa, if someone sees-” You hissed, and she shook her head.
“You can barely walk, occasionally I’m afraid your safety outmatches my privacy.” She teased slightly, and you swallowed down a bit of guilt at the notion. She set you down on the bed in her quarters, going to her bathroom to shower off quickly, leaving you sitting there.
You had already washed, your hair only just now fully drying as you waited for the woman. You took off the robe, laying there in your black pajamas, your hand softly running over her pillow. You wondered if she regretted it, regretted getting this close to you. The woman was incredibly private, and it seemed you had forced her to reevaluate her boundaries again and again, and what had you given her?
You swallowed as you looked down at yourself, your scarred body, your hands, thankfully no longer bleeding. You had given her love, you knew that, and the chance to see her aunt again. You had given her your heart, a way into your family, and every bit of your soul you had to offer. Yet you were terrified it would never be enough to make up for the danger just being near you could put her in, let alone the lack of privacy.
You felt guilt flood you, just the same as you had earlier, only multiplying when you remembered it.
You didn’t notice her staring, not at first. Nor did you notice the way she walked over to you, her eyes full of love and warmth for the woman sitting on her bed, leaning against the pile of pillows left there in the morning.
You gasped as you felt her cup your jaw, your eyes slipping closed as you leaned into it, exhausted. You had yet to give her the truth, at least not all of it.
“It’s not just morphine.” You whispered, your face lined with shame. She sighed, sliding onto bed next to you.
“I know.” She hummed, and your eyes snapped open.
“You do?” You breathed, and she nodded. “H-how…” You trailed, and she swallowed, looking away.
“Jenkins, informed me, when we went to the manor, and you drank, he… I was worried for you, he told me there had been worse.” She nodded, and your eyes widened.
“So you’ve known for… and you didn’t…” You trailed, and she felt her lips twist in worry. She should have told you, she knew she should have told you.
“I’m sorry, I know I should have discussed it with-”
“You didn’t leave?” You asked so quietly she barely heard you. She gasped, her eyes snapping to yours as she cupped your cheeks softly.
“No, no I didn’t- I wouldn’t, Ophelia, I- I wouldn’t leave for that.” She said softly, watching as tears filled your eyes.
“But I- I-” You stuttered, finally showing the full spectrum of pain and shame crossing your face.
“You beat it.” She swallowed, and you shook your head. “You beat it every day you don’t go back to that and knowing- knowing the pain you have been through Ophelia, I can’t imagine…” She trailed, her throat closing and choking her up. “I am so happy you’re here.” Was all she landed on, tears filling her eyes. Your breath hitched softly, and you nodded, your hand coming to rest on hers still on your cheek. You leaned up towards her, your gray eyes mesmerizingly deep with all you felt.
“I- I’m glad i’m here. ” You whispered, glancing between you both, needing her to know what you meant. She swallowed, her heart picking up. You were glad to be with her, in her bed, in her arms. You were glad to be with her .
“I love you.” You whispered softly, and her lips met yours in the softest kiss she had ever given you. There was nothing rushed, nothing panicked, no desperate need to prove something or desire to rip each others clothes off. This was soft, loving, achingly so.
You moaned softly into her, turning to face her further as you cupped her jaw, pressing your body ever so slightly closer. She sighed, pulling you up and onto her lap as she laid against the headboard, her hands slowly snaking around her waist. You were there, that’s all that mattered to her. You were there, and in her arms, and she knew, or she was learning, how many times you had come close to that never happening, to you having died, or been broken beyond repair years before she would ever even know your name.
She brought her hand to your face, gently sweeping the hair back as she rested her forehead against yours, her face flushed and panting. You hummed, still cradling her face as if you could hardly believe you were there either, as if she was the most precious thing in the world to you.
“I- it’s late,” She swallowed, massaging your hip with her hand still at your waist, and you shook your head.
“Larissa,” You whispered her name like a prayer, like you were calling the name of your goddess, your savior, softly into into the night, telling her you needed her with you know.
“You need to rest,” She swallowed, her own voice not believing it. She knew that your body needed rest, yes. She knew that anyone else would be dead on their feet, however she also knew you. She knew you would want to feel soft touches, feel- feel her.
She knew you wanted to feel her.
She felt it.
For the first time in her life there was no doubt, no questioning. She knew, deeply, that the person in front of her wanted her. You made her feel as if she was everything, as if she was a goddess, an angel, touching you. She knew you could sleep in her arms, and fall apart at her touches. She knew you loved her. You made her feel how much you loved her. She didn’t realize she was crying until you were brushing her tears away, pulling back to look at her.
“Darling, are you-”
“You make me feel it.” She rasped, her voice almost breaking. She closed her eyes, unable to look at you.
“You make- Ophelia you make me feel it.” She said again, desperately pleading with you to understand. You scanned her face, the pained look she had at thinking back, the shock and wonder at now. You watched her struggle under the weight of the realization that her whole life, that everytime she was made to feel unwanted, unloved, like she was too much or not enough, every single time, it could have been like this. That this was what love was supposed to be like, that this feeling was what love, real love, felt like.
Like feeling wanted.
“I love you so much,” Her voice broke, tears threatening to choke her as her breath fanned across your face softly, panting at the intensity of the emotion she felt.
“I know, my love, I know.” You whispered back, and somehow it was exactly what she needed to ear, exactly what she needed you to say. She leaned in again, brushing her nose against yours, sliding herself against you as she had brushed her lips against your petals.
You sighed, leaning in with her, kissing her gently, so devastatingly gently she thought she may fall apart. Her hands wound around your hips, pulling you tighter onto her lap before they made their way up your spine, massaging slowly, gently, as your lips caressed hers. She slipped her tongue against you, moaning softly at the shudder you gave as your lips parted, allowing her to explore you.
You tasted divine, she had no other way of putting it. You somehow tasted sweet, not unnaturally so, but as if you had perpetually been sipping on honeyed tea before she kissed you. She tasted it every tme, wondered if you controlled that or if that was just part of the magic that was you.
“You are everything to me,” She rasped against your lips, and you sighed into her, nodding as you chased her lips again.
“You are the light in my life, Larissa, I- I didn’t know that I could- that anyone would ever be able to-” You couldn’t find the words, yet she knew, she nodded against you, and she knew. Your hands wrapped around her neck, to her shoulders, softly pushing down the straps of the nightgown she had put on. She hummed, gently pulling back from your lips, a small whimper leaving you as she did, only to begin kissing at you jaw gently.
You sighed, tilting your head to give her more room, relaxing into her, allowing her to just have her way with you, to feel, to taste, to love all of you. It took her breath away. She kissed her way under your jaw, her lips caressing your throat, your pulse point, every inch of the skin of your neck she could get to, feeling you slowly melt into her.
Her hands slid gently under the soft top you wore, still resting around your waist as she waited for your permission. You nodded, closing your eyes as you surrendered to the feel of her. Your mind spun as she continued kissing, the softness of each brush of her lips assuring you even more, the tenderness of her hands making your heart feel light, easy.
She made it easy.
“I never thought i’d be able to be- that someone would be able to- that I could let, and,” You swallowed, screwing your eyes closed even tighter as she lips met your collarbone, your shirt being slowly pushed up as her warm hands caressed your skin. “I never thought I would love someone touching me.” You whispered, so quietly she could barely hear it, yet it was the loudest thing you had ever said.
Her breath stuttered past her lips as she pulled your top off, gently picking you up and turning the both of you around before she laid you against the bed, your arms wrapping around her.
“You do?” She rasped, and you nodded, pulling her down to kiss her again, wrapping your arms around her as much as you could.
“Larissa, you make- you make touch feel like love. ” You whimpered, and she swore she could have cried then and there.
“You deserve every touch to feel like that.” She whispered into you, and you just shook your head, silencing her with your lips on hers again. She kissed you heatedly, but still achingly, beautifully slow. She had laid you down on the bed, your hair fanned out behind you as you rolled your body subconsciously, just wanting her closer. You looked like a painting beneath her, one she wanted to memorize every inch of, as if her lips were the only way to seal you to the canvas, to capture this moment forever.
Her lips went to your neck again, this time feeling you gasp and arch into her, wanting her closer. She moaned, taking her kisses down your neck, to the crook of your shoulder, burying her nose in your fallen hair and inhaling you. Flowers and petrichor, the promise of a storm, yet so many beautiful things to come of it. She trailed down the center of your chest, feeling you writhe against her, her hands softly caressing up and down your sides, grounding you.
“Larissa-” You gasped her name, and she moaned, coming back up slightly to take your nipple in her mouth, the way your breath stuttered being more of a reward than she could ever imagine. Every sigh, every whimper, every moment of surprise you gave her were hers. They were sounds she drew out of you, your responses to her touch, and hers alone. They were the gifts you gave in response to being loved, to trusting her, wanting her to love you.
She moaned at the taste of your skin, and your response was instant, your hips canting up at the vibrations, she settled her hands on your hips, drawing slow, gentle circles with her thumbs to ground you, to give you every bit of herself she could, and as you finally allowed her, you took her greedily and gratefully, your want and love of the woman above you filling her with passion, with joy.
Her lips latched around you, sucking as you gasped, your hand immediately making it’s way to her hair, your touch still gentle, revenant over her. She kissed across your chest, sucking your other nipple between her lips, her name falling from yours in a softened plea.
“Larissa, darling I-” You cut yourself off with a hiss as she kissed the underside of your breast, the sensitive skin there giving her a breathtaking reaction. You groaned quietly, longingly, as you canted your hips up, seeking her out in a desperate need for friction, yet even now it was still so soft, so loving.
“I- I want to taste you,” She husked against your skin, looking up at you slightly nervously. She knew every touch was hard for you, every new thing you two did together was a test of your ability to trust her and regulate your own emotions.
She expected the usual apprehension, the worry, and her eyes were soft, her hands warm, ready to assure you. She knew it was hard, and she knew you wanted it, your body seemed to be desperate for any sense of touch, and she knew- albeit bitterly, how good a warm, soft tongue could feel against her. She was ready for the cringe that always came when you wanted to try something knew, the tension and hesitation, and looked up at you with nothing but love and assurance in her gaze waiting for it.
That was why it utterly floored her when you didn’t even look down, only sighing as you let your legs fall apart a little more for her.
“Please,” You breathed happily, easily, and she swore to god her heart almost stopped. There was a soft smile on your face as you pressed your head back into the pillow, hips arching up towards her.
You took her breath away.
You gave a soft sound, a small whimper of need, and the world seemed to resume spinning, time unfroze as her entire goal in life became to make you absolutely glow with satisfaction. Her lips pressed lower and lower, a blazing trail of kisses down your stomach, taking time to line each scar and blemish with her lips, her fingers tracing over the one on your ribs so softly you thought you may physically melt.
Her lips brushed over your hip bones, her hands slowly lowering your underwear as if she was unwrapping the greatest present. Your breath hitched as she pulled away for a moment, looking down at you spread out below her, your cheeks were flushed, the blush spreading down to your chest as you gazed up at her with hooded eyes, biting your lip in anticipation.
“God, you’re so beautiful,” She breathed, and you blushed, but smiled at her. You didn’t look away this time. She could feel her heart swell at the soft gaze you gave her, no worry or trepidation to be seen in your eyes. Her eyes scanned from yours down your body, she had seen you naked of course, many times, but you had never truly laid yourself out for her, allowed her to take you in, in all your glory. Even in her office you had turned away, covered your face when it became too much, something had changed within you that night, something had shifted, perhaps about the way you saw her, or just the way you saw touch, and for the first time you were fully giving yourself to her.
“Rissa?” You breathed gently, your voice soft and breathy, and she hummed, smiling up at you as she felt her eyes water with joy.
“Just looking at you.” She hummed, and you laughed a little bit, sitting up on your elbows and shaking your hair out before you looked back down at her, warmth, love, and heat blazing in your grey eyes. “Good lord.” She breathed, dropping her head as she was overwhelmed with experiencing you like this, you as hers completely and freely given, with no hesitation, for the first time. She looked down and swallowed, her eyes nearly bugging out of her skull at how wet you were, and from just her kisses, just her. It was a thrill she didn’t think she’d ever get used to. “I love you,” She breathed, making your breath hitch as she kissed just below your navel. You let out a ragged exhale, your eyes closing as she kissed lower, and lower, until she was right above where you wanted her.
“Please, Rissa,” You whispered, “Need you,” It came out broken, yet somehow so warm, your final plea to her to have you however she wanted. Her lips met you softly, your eyes going wide as she gently kissed your clit, her tongue slowly licking you up as she kept her eyes on you, utterly glued to every reaction.
The moan you let out was heavenly, bliss and pleasure lining your face as you furrowed your brows, lost to the sensation of her after the slightest touch.
“Oh, my love,” She whispered against you, and you whimpered, nodding at the gentle realization in her voice. She licked a slow line from the bottom of your entrance to the top of your clit, your head falling back in ecstasy as she began.
She moaned at your taste, caught again in amazement at how your body was a work of magic. You tasted like a woman, of course, a heady, musky mixture, but the slight taste of honey, just like your lips, permeated your body. Elianna had said something once about you changing the taste of your skin, but dear god it seemed this was just you.
She gave you open mouthed kisses, gently laving her tongue over you between her lips, catching your hips as they jerked forward in surprise. You looked down at her, your eyes wide in shock.
“I didn’t- I didn’t mean to do that?” You rasped, your voice tight in surprise. She smirked against you, biting back the urge to chuckle at your shock.
“Does it feel good?” She asked you, and you nodded desperately, your head falling back as she licked you up again. Your body had reacted so quickly to her it literally startled you, and heat flooded her at the realization. You were getting wetter by the moment, and she wasn’t sure how your body was doing that, but good lord she certainly wasn’t complaining. “You taste incredible, Ophelia.” She breathed against you, but you only nodded, words escaping you at this point.
She ducked her head down again with a smile, watching you closely as she licked at your clit gently, slowly, every trace of her over you an act of worship. Your chest was heaving, your body flushed as she pleasured you.
“S- So, oh god- so soft,” You panted, your body and mind overwhelmed by the woman between your legs. Her tongue felt like heaven against you, so warm and soft, each caress like her hands around your heart, sending you closer and closer to oblivion. She flattened her tongue against your clit, grinding it into you, and your hands fisted the sheets, holding on for dear life as pleasure like you had never known coursed through you.
There was no one else, no one else for you, only her, she was the only one you ever wanted to have you like this. She was the only one you trusted, but more than that truly, truly wanted to have you laid out and at her mercy.
“Rissa!” You whimpered, and she moaned at the nickname, latching her lips around your clit and sucking you into her mouth. You fell back completely on the bed, a deep groan resounding in your chest as you bucked your hips up into her, your legs beginning to shake.
Oh god, you were shaking, literally shaking for her, and she thought she’d forget to breathe at how beautiful you looked strung out in ecstasy, she reached up, wrapping her hands around your hips only to feel one of yours reaching down, gripping onto hers until she intertwined your fingers together, squeezing your hand as she brought her tongue between her lips, flicking your clit as she sucked, sending you careening over the edge.
“Oh- unh- oh god!” You hissed, and her eyes went wide at how utterly out of control you sounded. You curled forward, your thighs tensing as the first waves of your orgasm made you spasm around her tongue.
You couldn’t breathe, you couldn’t think- all you could do was feel, and all you felt was her, Larissa, the woman you loved. And good god she felt like love now.
You felt the slight burn in your lungs and muscles as you pulsed, your legs shaking and your entire body tense with the power of your orgasm, only to utterly collapse back, panting desperately as it began to wash over you, still moaning and twitching incoherently.
Your body went limp, small twitches of pleasure occasionally stirring you as you desperately gulped in air, your mind literally spinning with the head rush she gave you.
“How did that feel, love?” She asked you gently, her breath ghosting over your inner thighs. You nodded breathlessly, a broken whimper leaving your lips as words failed you. “May I give you another?” She hummed, and you looked down at her, your eyes wide. You may have been a woman of stamina, but you had no idea how on earth your body could take another like that.
No one had ever touched you like that, you had never even let someone use their tongue on you, let alone like that!
“I- I…” You shook, having no idea how on earth you could give her another. She could see your apprehension, her hand soothing over your thigh tenderly, making you flush and melt under her, your eyes almost rolling back.
She smiled up at you, utterly in love with you and your reactions.
“Mhm,” You nodded, feeling the love she had for you ground you. “Gentle, please, please gentle.” You whispered, and she kissed the inside of your thigh softly.
“Always, my love.” She whispered, and you sighed in relief. Her tongue met your clit again and you whimpered, your hips jerking from the sensation. You were overstimulated and she knew it, her lips and tongue soft on you as she eased you back into pleasure, your thighs shaking around her head.
“Rissa,” You cried, elongating the final ‘a’ of her name in a whine that had her dripping. She moaned as she slipped her tongue into you, your gasped inhale melting into a moan as she eased into you. “Oh, Larissa, I- I- oh god,” You sighed, and she moaned at the way you cried her name. You arched into her further, your back bowing as she began to massage the inside of your cunt.
Your whispered curses were like music to her, your body being played as easily and far more beautifully than she ever could with the piano. Your words quickly devolved more into sounds, occasional cries of her name, or rather parts of it, and ‘I love you’s’ becoming most of what she could make out.
Again you began to roll your hips into her, your thighs quivering, your legs shaking as she pressed her tongue up against the inside of you, your hand squeezing hers as you tensed again, your breath leaving your body. She hummed, moaning into you as she nuzzled her nose against your clit, pressing up harder with her tongue as you crashed over the edge again, your body practically spasming as your cunt pulsed around her tongue.
Your legs snapped closed on her head, her free hand massaging your hip as you shuddered, guttural groans leaving your lips as she worked you through it, your eyes screwed shut as you were helpless to do anything but accept the love she gave you.
Your head was spinning again, you had almost forgotten how to breathe, the haze of just, good crashing into your body too strong for you to comprehend.
You felt lightheaded- no, you felt light, light and warm with all that she gave you, your body floating on air as the woman gently made her way up your body, caressing and kissing you as she went. Your eyes shined when you finally opened them, feeling the woman smile against you as she kissed your cheek, her own blue eyes brilliant in the low light of her room.
“Hi,” she breathed, and you smiled, pulling her down to kiss her desperately, laughing a bit at the taste of yourself on her tongue. “Something amusing, darling?” She smiled down at you, love lighting up her face, and you shook your head, just smiling up at her. She looked ethereal like that, petals falling in her hair, complimenting her hydrangea blue eyes you loved so much.
Your brows furrowed at that, petals?
You looked up, past her around the room and groaned, your face flushing as you realized you had- once again- lost control of your abilities.
“Oh dear god.” You sighed, covering your face in embarrassment as she looked around the room, chuckling a bit at what you had done. Flowers had bloomed everywhere, over everything, piles of them on the dresser, the corners of the room, petals raining down from the ceiling, it looked like a scene from a movie, and she wished she could capture the moment, the sheer magic of it.
“It’s beautiful,” She whispered, awestruck, and you groaned.
“It’s reckless, is what it is, allowing that, it could be dangerous I-”
“Ophelia?” She whispered softly, her voice taken aback. You looked up in worry, the sudden shift in her voice concerning you. She had tears in her eyes and you surged up instantly, wrapping your arms around her, looking for any sign of injury.
You had forgotten, you had forgotten what you could do- what touch could bring, what surrendering yourself completely could cause, the danger that came with it. You felt panic seize you, only for her to pick something up off the bed, staring at it in utter wonder as she brought it between you both.
“Are these…” She trailed, caressing the petals gently, as you realized what she was reacting to. You looked down at the flower in her hand, smiling softly as you nodded.
“Juliet roses.” You hummed, and her breath hitched.
“You- you’ve never bloomed them for me before, I assumed…” She trailed, and you looked up, cupping her cheek with your hand.
“I know your favorite flower, my love.” You smiled, and she nodded. It was such a small thing, such an obvious thing for you, yet it took her breath away nonetheless. She looked around, picking up another rose head that had fallen on the mattress and gently caressing it.
“And this one?” She asked, gently running her fingers over the two toned petals. The outside of each petal was a pristine white, almost glowing in the low light, while the inside was a deep, blood red, folding over at the top and creating the most striking contrast.
“Osiria roses, they, mmm, they’ve always been the ones I most closely associated with myself.” You blushed slightly, and she furrowed her brows.
“I thought your favorite were white irises?” She questioned, and your eyes widened slightly at her remembering it.
“Mmm, well,” You chuckled a little, blushing. “Yes, they are my favorite, but it was because I’ve always found them beautiful and calming, they, they reminded me of someone who calmed me when I needed it.” You hummed, looking up longingly into her eyes.
“I- Georgianna?” She asked you, and you shook your head, smiling slightly as you leaned in, kissing her gently.
“How many gorgeous tall white haired women do you know, Larissa?” You smiled against her, and she blushed. “How many of them have I loved, in some capacity, my entire life?” You hummed, and she let the flowers fall the the bed, her breath hitching as you kissed her passionately.
“I-” She stuttered, her face flushing as your words flustered her. You pulled her onto your lap, your hands gripping her waist as you pulled her closer, pouring every bit of love and longing you had into the kiss. “I’m your favorite flower?” She asked you, and you nodded, smiling up at her. “I’m your favorite flower!” She giggled quietly, and you laughed with her as you dropped your head to her shoulder, covering her neck and chest in teasing kisses.
It was so light, so loving, and her small smile and laugh drove you wild with joy.
She giggled more, holding you close until you pulled away, just far enough to whisper something against her skin.
“Look up.” You commanded gently, and she did as you asked, gasping as she watched petals swirl all around her.
You had your eyes closed, your kisses changing from quick and teasing to soft and longing as you focused, calling your ability to tell her a story she never thought she’d see. She watched as the flowers bloomed from the ceiling, blanketing it as if it was a carpet of them, gasping as you kissed her neck, white iris buds blooming in sparks and waves, as if fireworks were going off against a sea of roses. You had made the background out of Juliet roses, it seemed, the blush pink occasionally being broken up by sparks of white irises or osiria roses. You had created a tapestry for her, a visual representation of what went through your mind as you kissed her.
It took her breath away.
You parted your lips, laying an open mouthed kiss on her neck that had her moaning, rolling her hips into you as you hummed, your flowers blooming and changing. She didn’t have your knowledge of them, didn’t know what each of them meant, but the sheer number of them, always peppered with ones she knew you saw her as, had her mesmerized.
Your hands slipped under the hem of her nightdress and she pulled it off almost instantly, gasping when your lips met her breasts, flushes of pink flowers blooming when you blushed at the intimacy, at the want for her that overpowered you.
You laid down beneath her, looking up at her with softness in your eyes as your hands met her hips, pulling her upwards. She looked down at the feeling of you pulling away, her brows furrowing in confusion until you glanced down at her core, biting your lip before you looked back up at her.
Her eyes went wide for a moment as she lifted herself up a bit uncomfortably.
“Ophelia, darling, I’m-”
“Please?” You asked her so gently, with such need in your voice as you massaged her thighs with your palms.
“Sweetheart…” She trailed, blushing and looking away. You whined, actually whined at her, and her eyes went wide.
“Please, Rissa, I want you,” You rasped, and she swallowed as a blush stained her cheeks, down her neck, flourishing over her chest as she felt a gush of wetness between her thighs. “I- I’ll go slow, and I promise to stop you if it’s too much, but I- please, I just want you.” You sighed, and she bit her lip.
You watched as the woman closed her eyes for a moment, taking a deep breath. It wasn't that she didn’t want you to, of course she wanted you to, but the shame she would feel if it was too much, if you had to push her off, terrified her. But if you, after everything you had been through, could open yourself up to her, she could certainly allow you something as simple as this, even if you would have to push her off.
She pulled off her underwear, looking down at your darkening eyes as you whispered about how beautiful she was, how much you wanted to feel her.
“I just want to- I don’t want to feel anything but you, Larissa.” You whispered, and she nodded nervously, carefully straddling your face and looking away, embarrassed by how exposed she was.
What she didn’t expect was the utterly broken moan you let out as soon as you could see her, the way you massaged her hips gently, turning your face to kiss at her inner thighs.
“Fuck, Rissa,” You breathed, and her breath hitched as you sucked a spot just centimetres from her entrance, her hips snapping down on instinct, seeking out more.
She jumped up, ready to pull away and check if you were alright, only to feel your hands lock around her hips and a groan vibrate your lips. She gasped in surprise, feeling you seek her out, your tongue flattening against her as you stared up into her eyes, silently pleading with her to continue.
“R-really?” She asked you, and you nodded, gently beginning to move your tongue against her, making her gasp. “Ah-Oh, darling,” She sighed, not expecting it to feel that good.
You guided her hips, asking her to roll them into you. At first she was tentative, her hips quivering with restraint as she did her best to keep most of her weight off of you, feeling you chase her up with your mouth, seeking more. You arched your head up, chasing her desperately, wanting nothing more than to make her feel good, a small whine leaving your chest at your desperation.
Her mouth fell open, her brows furrowing as you gently sucked her clit into your mouth, the woman grinding down a little harder at that, making you moan. She wouldn’t last long, she knew she wouldn’t. She was so worked up from watching you fall apart, not to mention how tired she was, and you, you were so gentle, so easy on her.
You let her set her own pace, her breath coming in pants as she began to grind in earnest, slowly working herself closer and closer to the edge. You couldn’t speak to her like this, but when she felt a petal brush her face she looked up, gasping at the ceiling still moving, the living tapestry of flowers telling her exactly how you felt. And god, you felt wonderful.
Larissa moaned, easing her weight onto you a little more, gasping when the pressure increased. You took it in stride, alternating between sucking her into your mouth and grinding your tongue against her. She grunted, her hands falling to the headboard over you to steady herself.
“Inside, Phelia, need you inside.” She panted, and you groaned against her, the vibrations making her shake as your tongue slipped inside her, leasing a long string of moans from her lips. “Oh, thats it, thats it darling.” She panted, her movements speeding up a bit as the position slipped from her mind, the pleasure overtaking her insecurity.
You pressed your tongue up inside her, feeling her hips jerk down as she cried out.
“Yes! There, right there!” She hissed, and your strong hands pulled her down even further, your tongue pumping inside her as she rocked on your face, broken moans falling from her lips as she crashed closer and closer to the edge. You squeezed her hips, thrusting your tongue deeper into her once more, and she cried out as her hips slammed down a final time.
Her legs began to shake, her hips snapping and stuttering out of her control as she came, wetness spilling over your tongue as she spasmed around you. She cried out your name, pulling away from overstimulation as she collapsed down next to you, your arms immediately pulling her into you as she panted, squeezing her legs together and rubbing them against one another, too overstimulated to allow you anymore. You smiled, your hands tracing her body gently until she relaxed, melting against you.
“That, that felt incredible.” She panted, and you hummed, turning her to face you. She gasped, a blush lighting up her face at seeing you covered in her, her eyes going wide in mortification. “I- I am so sorry, oh god, what is- how did I even?” She blurted, and you laughed, just pulling her close to you, holding her to your chest.
“I love you.” You sighed, and she swallowed, just nodding as her head settled on your chest, her own arms wrapping back around you as she relaxed into your arms.
“Stay,” She muttered, and you nodded.
“As long as I can.” You promised, the both of you drifting off to sleep with no regard for the mess you had made together.
Chapter 34: Gone
Summary:
Larissa learns why Morticia was the way she was. Then she feels it.
WARNING: Death/Medical scenes/grief/disassociation/drug use. Mentions of: Past manipulation/unhealthy relationships/abuse/child abuse/etc
ADDITIONALLY: A character does something knowing that it will kill them, to save others. This leans into suicidal territory, but I don't believe this is suicide in the sense that the character does not want to die, only that they would rather die than hurt someone else, as always, be careful, read what you want to read, and be warned.
Notes:
Oh dear. Ah, you all might hate me for a bit after this one... good luck.
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
Larissa glared at her.
The pleasant smile plastered to her lips failed her only a moment when the raven haired woman turned, and that’s all it took for a rage to well so deep inside her it took her breath away. Good lord, she was never this angry at the woman before she knew you. Morticia turned back around after shutting the door, an excited smile on her face.
“Mrs Addams, what can I do for-”
“Oh hush, Issa. Granted you’re now as close with my sister as we used to be I hardly think you need to pretend we’re so formal.” She smiled, sauntering over to the desk and taking a seat on it with a wide smirk. Larissa tilted her head slightly, a tight smile on her lips as she attempted to blink away her annoyance.
“Mrs- Morticia, what can I help you with? It is the middle of the school day and I don’t believe I received an indication that you would be… present.” The blonde did her best to smile, tilting her head further in a way that was charming, as ever, but made it all to clear how annoyed she was, unfortunately. Morticia smirked in a way that almost twisted her stomach. She hated how well the woman could still read her, and she hated the fact that Morticia seemed intent on ignoring every time she could tell the shifter was uncomfortable even more.
“I saw you.” Morticia smirked, staring intently at the woman.
“Pardon?” Larissa asked. Morticia saw her, what, exactly?
“I had a vision, I saw you, with her, with my sister.” She smiled, and Larissa’s own smile dropped. She had developed a hate for Morticia over the years, carefully and painstakingly constructed around the long dead feeling she held for the woman. Every time Morticia had played with her heart, Larissa had sealed it off more, until years later when the blonde thought she wouldn’t ever be able to be loved again. Of course it seemed the fates wouldn’t even grant her that.
You had changed her mind, the twin of the very woman she despised, or tried to tell herself she did, had changed that. Of course you had, as the world had some divine incentive to mock her and her younger years, and their… dubious choices. With you she had deconstructed the walls, let go of the hate. It felt so, freeing to not be constantly convincing herself of hate.
Only finding out what Morticia had done to you, out of love or otherwise, made the rage in her run so much deeper.
“I saw you and her, together, it was quite incredible, really!” Morticia laughed, and Larissa bristled. She was mocking her again, she had to be. The shifter had no idea why the other woman would want to mock her, yet here she was, doing just that. Of course. “Really, I didn’t think I would ever see it, but here we are, or rather there the two of you were- Honestly it's shocking, I can’t imagine that she would ever…” Morticia went on, yet Larissa’s ears just rang. She knew it was true. She knew the likelihood of you staying, if you even could, was abysmal. She knew you would have to leave someday, for good, and the fact that there would come a point when in all likelihood you would want to leave did not escape her.
She had dealt with Morticia’s words for years, but hearing them now, about you, it had hit deeper than she had ever imagined. She had thought you made her stronger, yet perhaps you had made her weaker. At the very least you had developed into a weak spot for her, and while Morticia’s jabs a year prior when Wednesday had come to Nevermore were irksome, these felt viscerally different, sharper, as if she was being prodded in the one spot she could break.
She needed you, you would know what to do, you never broke. Not from something as simple as this, anyway. No, you were far too strong to react over a simple tease, or moment.
“I really didn’t think i’d ever see her in white, you know, her favorite flowers are white, but I’ve never seen her willingly wear the color…” Morticia continued, and Larissa’s thoughts froze. The words left her mouth before she could even think, a rare occurrence for her.
“I’m sorry, what? ” She hissed, and Morticia giggled.
“Ophelia! In a white wedding gown! Actually WHITE! It was shocking!” She laughed, and Larissa felt as if the floor was pulled out from under her.
What?
That meant- But you and her- And Morticia had seen- And she was HAPPY about it??? She grabbed the woman’s arm, pulling her close, the smaller woman almost falling off the desk in surprise, but laughing nonetheless.
“Morticia, what exactly did you see?” She rasped, and Morticia’s eyes went wide.
“I- oh you didn’t think- oh .” She breathed, looking down and away for a moment, seemingly embarrassed. “I- I’m not always mocking you, you know.” She said softly, and Larissa furrowed her brows. “I have, many times I- I was insecure and needed constant attention, I wanted everyone to love me to distract me from what…” Morticia paused, breathing deeply to find the words. “From what I let happen to her.” She grimaced. The raven-haired woman stood, pacing around the room for a moment.
The woman wasn’t actually about to apologize, she couldn’t be. Larissa had known Morticia for nearly her entire life and had only ever seen her apologize to… come to think of it, to you.
“We- we were close, Issa, incredibly close, and I did everything I could to stop them from sending her away, and when I- I failed, it felt like part of me was ripped out.” She hummed, walking over to the window, looking out into the landscape, the flowers below. Even she could admit they were beautiful. “I don’t hate flowers because they remind me of her. I hate them because they remind me of someone I love, that I failed.” She sighed deeply, and Larissa felt as if for the first time, Morticia was letting her see all the flaws she had so carefully hidden in their school years.
She was bearing herself to be picked apart, as she had apparently done internally, just as she had done to her roommate.
“The fact that Gomez is allergic is only extra.” She added with a small smile, the action not quite meeting her eyes. She stared out the window for a little while longer, Larissa’s jaw slack at what she was hearing.
“Morticia, I…” She trailed, unsure what to say.
“I craved attention to make up for the part of me that was missing and I… I do know what I did to you was wrong, but I cannot make myself regret it, as it was the only way I was able to feed her visions of you, to keep her a- alive a little longer. I cannot apologize for something I don’t regret, Larissa, but if there was a way it could have happened that didn’t hurt you, at least that I knew of, I would have taken it.” She said softly, her voice almost breaking. It was the closest Larissa would ever get to an apology, and it shocked her, thoroughly shocked her.
For so many years Morticia had hidden you, hidden half of her, in a way. She knew the woman was different around you, yet to see it so clearly, it was still so much. For years Morticia had been forced to never speak of you, to not mention you, think of you, to feel shame for the fact that she loved her own sister.
Larissa couldn’t imagine knowing you and having to forget you. To see flowers every day and know that you were somewhere, suffering, and there was nothing she could do about it but pretend she didn’t notice. She understood, for the first time, why Morticia hated flowers.
“Tish,” she sighed, closing her eyes for a moment, attempting to process, and Morticia whipped around, her eyes wide with emotion.
“You- you haven't called me Tish since…” she trailed, and Larissa knew the exact night it had stopped. The night of their Rave’n. The night of murder and betrayal, and all that had happened between them coming to a head.
Morticia wanted to cry.
“I know.” Larissa said, and Morticia looked to her nervously.
“I- I didn’t come here intending to mock you, not at all, to- to thank you, if anything.” She rushed, and Larissa could have sworn it was the first time she heard the woman stutter.
“To thank me?” She asked, and Morticia smiled, nodding a bit uncertainly.
“I had two visions, one of you and my sister, getting married.” Morticia giggled, and Larissa blushed furiously, looking away. Would you want to? Ever? Clearly the vision meant there was a path in which you would some day want to, but she couldn’t imagine you as you are now wanting to marry anyone. Not to mention the fact that you had only been together a few months, it- it would be far too soon to even think about something like that, yet the second Morticia had said it Larissa could see it.
She could see you, with little white flowers in your hair, a veil adorning the mess of curls that fell from your head. She imagined you would wear something simple, she wondered if it was just her and those you were truly close to if she could convince you to go sleeveless, she would want you to know she wanted every bit of you, including the scars you hid. She could see Jenkins standing to the side, she could imagine exchanging rings in front of the Willow tree you had buried her aunt in. She could see every bit of it if she closed her eyes, if she let herself dream of you and your future, with her.
Yet the moment she felt the smile touch her lips she stopped.
You couldn’t marry, logically she knew that. You were essentially a spy with no government, an assassin who had hundreds of children depending on you, and a brilliant scientist who would never dedicate herself to something other than your work. There was no way, it just would never happen.
Neither of you could let the other come first.
She smiled tensely, looking to Morticia, who tilted her head at the brokenhearted look in her former roommate’s eyes.
“What’s wrong?” She asked the shifter, who simply shook her head, clearing her throat.
“Nothing at all, simply, worried about the work both Ophelia and I have at the moment, plenty of children and students to take care of, is all.” She dismissed, despite Morticia’s evaluating glance.
“Has she taken care of you?” Morticia asked, and Larissa’s eyes went wide.
“I- excuse me?” She hissed, her mind instantly going dirty, much to Morticia’s amusement.
“Not like that,” she giggled, and Larissa glared at her. “Has she, she can be incredibly comforting, loving, if she lets herself.” Morticia smiled fondly, her eyes going far away for a moment. “When we were girls we were always hugging, always had our arms around one another, she, she was always very physical, I mean we grew in a womb together, it makes sense she craves close contact.” She laughed lightly, and Larissa softened slightly. She knew how much you ached to be close. Whenever you fell asleep now she would wake with you holding her close to yourself, the look on your face whenever she ran a hand through your hair or over your fingers showed just how much you craved touch.
“She does like to, to be close, sometimes, I- especially when she’s sleeping.” Larissa admitted quietly, and Morticia beamed. It was one of the few times she looked similar to you, when she allowed herself unadulterated joy, without any of her normal layers of carefully crafted concealment.
“Has she grown things for you?” The woman asked, and Larissa scoffed. Just last night you had covered every inch of your room in her favorite flower, of course you had.
“Of course she has, it’s one of the ways she communicates.” Larissa playfully rolled her eyes, and Morticia’s widened.
“You- you know what she means by them?” She asked, and the principal furrowed her brows.
“Some, I- I’ll admit I haven’t looked into it as much as I would like to, but some I’ve asked about, and others I can infer.” She nodded, and Morticia smiled.
“I can find the books she learned on, the language of flowers she learned when we were young, our nanny snuck them to her.” She smiled fondly, and Larissa felt her heart ache at the idea that someone would have had to sneak them to you.
“You know what books she used?” Larissa asked softly, and Morticia smiled, nodding.
“I kept them, all of them, hid them from our parents after they… after she was sent away.” She swallowed, and Larissa nodded in understanding. She had kept your books, all these years, and she had kept your books.
“Did you ever learn?” She asked, and Morticia nodded her head from side to side.
“Somewhat. Wednesday studied them when she grew old enough, she knows more than me, however Ophelia’s knowledge is almost encyclopedic. She knows any flower you can think of, its uses, effects, meanings, how to grow and nurture it.” She explained, and Larissa could see how her features softened when she spoke of you. It was oddly, endearing, for the other woman. It truly was like she was whole when speaking of you, she couldn’t imagine having to bury her feelings for you for years, to have you taken away from her and to be told she must never think or speak of you again. She had never understood how Morticia could be so loving, and yet so cutting and cold with how she gave her love.
You were why.
Larissa rung her hands nervously, the question burning inside her, demanding she voice it, propriety be damned.
“Is it- why were they so cruel to her? I can’t imagine why anyone would… and her ability, it’s…” she trailed, attempting to find the words.
“She’s incredible.” Morticia smiled, and Larissa was surprised to hear her admit it, her brow raising on instinct. Morticia laughed harder at that. “I’m aware she’s beyond anything we know of, Issa. I’ve known longer than anyone.” She reminded her, and Larissa nodded. “She is- my parents don’t…” she sighed again, once again sorting through her thoughts. “My sister cannot, and could not, be controlled. She has been as wild as she is now, although arguably more sane, since we were born.” She hummed, thinking for a moment. “She was a threat, even then. They knew they could not control her, and with how Ravens were already treated in comparison to doves… every use of her ability was seen as her practicing something that was wrong, dangerous, shameful. Her visions and ability can be intertwined and… she’s not just an outcast Larissa, I’m sure you’ve figured that out by now.” She sighed, and Larissa hummed softly. “They worried she would hurt me, or them, if she lost control.” Morticia swallowed. “They were afraid of her and they… they forced her to become what they were scared of.” She sighed, closing her eyes in shame for a moment. “She can’t even be touched now, and that place…” she trailed, shaking her head.
It seemed there were things too dark for even Morticia to speak of.
Then something lighter crossed her mind, something that made her smile.
“I saw her with white hair.” She sighed happily, and Larissa furrowed her brows. “With you, in another vision I- I’ve never seen her older than graying before, I know what that means, in all likelihood, but after I saw you two marry, I- I saw her with white hair.” She swallowed, happy tears flooding her eyes for a moment, Larissa’s breath stolen.
“You- you’ve never seen her past grays?” She asked, fear gripping her. Morticia sighed, adjusting herself on the desk and leaning down. Morticia had never, in all her visions, seen you live past a few grey hairs. The woman must have thought you were going to die soon for the last decade, she could imagine the fear she would feel when your grey began to come in, she could imagine how terrified she would feel, knowing the time you had left on this earth was so much shorter than what your lifespan should be.
“Yes but with you, I saw her with white hair, Larissa, white! She was ancient!” She giggled, and Larissa looked up at her, tears in her eyes.
“She, she lived that long?” She rasped, and Morticia nodded, tears in her own.
“She lived a full life with you, I- I’ve never seen that before.” Morticia whispered, and Larissa could have hugged her like she had so many times before when they were younger. “Would you like to see?” Morticia asked her, and Larissa nodded quickly, reaching for her hand. “I- I need a little more than her, I have to get much closer to you to transfer them.” She blushed, and Larissa furrowed her brows.
“I- alright, whatever it takes I want- I need to see her happy.” She swallowed, and Morticia nodded, cupping her face gently. Larissa almost reeled back in surprise, the seer moving forward so quickly she didn’t realize what was happening before her lips met hers, her hands shooting up to push her away before she saw it.
The vision was quick, mere flashes of the two of you, but she saw you, laid in her arms, your hair white and your face full of graceful lines, lines you had the years to earn. It made her heart bloom to see you, leaning against her in a garden, under a tree, the two of you quietly enjoying each other’s company as if you had spent decades doing just this. She felt something wet on her face and gasped, reality slamming back into her as she realized she was crying, Morticia a few inches from her, her brows still furrowed in concentration.
It would seem your sister required more intimacy than you did to transfer visions, and as soon as she saw Morticia’s guilty eyes she shook her head, pulling her into her arms in relief, beyond grateful for what she had shown her.
“Thank you, thank you.” She rasped, and Morticia nodded, tears in her own eyes. They both had seen you, leaning against a tree, Larissa behind you, book in your hands, with hair as white as hers was now, curling chaos becoming more disheveled with age, lines on your face from decades of smiles and laughter. What took Larissa’s breath away, however, was your hands. Your beautiful hands, still stained black at the tips of your fingers, yet with the veins more prominent, the lines of age and use on them, and a few age spots. They looked more beautiful then she had ever seen them. A brush of Morticia’s lips was worth that, more than worth knowing there was a world, a way, she could be with you, to make you happy.
Then they heard it.
Larissa jumped at the sound of glass shattering, pulling away quickly to see you standing in her doorway, your hands shaking, and glass and porcelain at your feet.
You had brought her tea.
A thank you, for last night, for being there, and now it shattered and stained the floor in front of you.
Your eyes were wide as they fixed on the opposite wall of the room, refusing to look at either of them.
“Ah,” you swallowed, as if you had just realized something, something that everyone else must have known, but you. “Of course.” You spoke, your voice cracking. Your eyes were beginning to fill with tears, they didn’t fall, just gathered as if the floodgates were barely holding. “How foolish of me, I should know my-“
“Ophelia-“ Morticia called, her eyes widening as she realized what you had seen. You knew better, she knew you knew better. Yet what you felt…
“DON’T.” You spat, your eyes snapping to her, and for the first time, Morticia saw the full madness of the medic looking at her. She snapped her jaw shut, truly scared of you for the first time.
“She was just-“ Larissa tried, panicking as she rose to her feet, immediately trying to go to you only to find the woman she loved staring at her in pure, maddening pain. It took her breath away, you looked, you looked insane. You looked driven mad by something she couldn’t understand, as if pain was eating you alive and it… her heart dropped when she realized what was happening. “Ophelia, she was showing me a-” She was cut off as the air in the room suddenly felt stale, as if the moisture was being sucked out, as if something was eating it up.
You wouldn’t let her speak as with every word you lost your grip on your emotions. Even if she could tell you, it was too late now. You weren’t in control anymore. Black dahlias bloomed throughout the room, seeping out of corners and cracks, and Larissa didn’t have to turn to a book for their meaning.
This wasn’t Ophelia anymore, no. Ophelia had left the room the moment the porcelain shattered. She was looking at the full blown madness of the medic, wartorn and brokenhearted, used and left broken, time and time again, convinced it was happening once more.
“I can’t believe I- oh dear lord, how foolish of me.” You laughed mirthlessly, your mind cracking in front of them. Larissa began to call your name, only for you to put your hand up as you bent over, wretching dark dirt, blood, and bile onto the floor, your eyes watering at it as you wipped the remaining blood from your lips. You couldn’t hear her voice, you didn’t want to hear her voice.
“Shut up.” You hissed, looking at her with eyes that showed nothing but pain. Larissa couldn’t even speak.
Your eyes went wide, your hand shooting to your pocket and filing a number. You could already feel it choking you. You ripped your collar open, both women looking at you in horror as they saw it. The black of your arms had spread quickly, more so than they even thought was possible.
Betrayal was not an emotion you could suppress, it would seem. Even you were fallible.
You only had to send a code- it was all you managed before you lost control of your hand, the phone clattering to the ground as you froze, using every bit of your will to stop this, to stop what you knew would happen.
“Ophelia!” Larissa cried, trying to rush to you, only for you to cry out in pain when you heard her voice, shaking your head.
“Stop! Please, please just stop!” You screamed, horror filling you as you tried not to double over in pain. Losing control hurt, your body being pushed to sacrifice your humanity for strength hurt, it destroyed you. You couldn’t take this, not for long, and if you fully lost control if- if that happened, you didn’t know what would be left of Nevermore. You heard the snapping in the room and Jenkins was next to you in a moment, ripping your clothing in an attempt to find an injection site.
“Pl-please, give it-“ you choked, the words catching as he looked to you in horror, he had to inject you where it hadn’t gone black yet, but for you to take it directly to the carotid would be far too much, it could kill you.
“Breathe, please breathe,” he begged, only for you to turn to him, grabbing the needle and plunging it into your neck, horrifying him. Larissa screamed as she saw it enter your neck, her own memories of pain making her want to rush you, Morticia barely holding her back.
“Philly, Philly tha’ was a full dose, you can’t take that to the neck-“ You cut him off with only a look, your entire body visibly shaking with restraint. Your eyes were wide with barely contained madness, you were gritting your teeth in pain, and it wasn’t stopping. “Wha’ happened- what on earth happened?” He rasped, his eyes quickly scanning you for any signs of it stopping. The spread didn’t even slow down. Black decay had spread up your arms, to your shoulders, your throat, slowly choking you. He looked down in horror as vines began to snake out from your arms, wrapping around you, far faster and stronger than he could pull them away.
You gasped for air, your body beginning to not just shake, but lurch back and forth, as if you were seizing. It wasn’t stopping, he realized. Something was very wrong, it wasn’t stopping. That was a large enough dose to put down thirty men, it should have been more than enough to knock you out, and it wasn’t stopping.
“Hold on lass, jes- jes count with me, aye?” He nearly begged, you could see his eyes filling with tears as you shook, barely still on your feet, your knees threatening to collapse as he desperately held you up. “Ye can count, right?” He tried, the fear of god in the centuries old man brooke your heart even further.
You shook your head, tears streaming down your cheeks. It wasn’t even slowing down, and the both of you knew what would happen if you didn’t stop it.
“A- An- n- no- other.” You gasped, and Jenkins shook his head, tears in his eyes. He couldn’t lose you, he couldn’t. You were his family, you had to be alright, you were always alright, you would find a way.
Yet he saw the look in your eyes, one he recognized from your younger years, from when he and Georgianna had first taken you from Newlfight. He saw your eyes, and he saw them beg for death.
“No, please, I’m beggin you lass, please,” he rasped, shaking his head as the two women watched in horror.
You screamed, falling to the ground, and he caught you, only for vines to erupt from your body wrapping around him and squeezing down, quickly, and hard. Your eyes went wide in horror and shock.
You were essentially a bomb waiting to go off, you could take out the school, everything for miles, but it would start with him. It would start with the first person you considered family, you would kill him. You turned your face to him, begging, truly begging him.
“It’s ok, I- it’s ok Je- Jenkins, please,” you rasped, pain still wracking you as your body twitched violently, he could see the horror in your eyes, the desperation not to become what so many had said you would.
“Jes’ wait, le do thoil (please) jes wait a little, count, count with me,” he cried, and you could hear Sugar’s sobbing from somewhere behind him. You shook your head, taking another vial from his hand.
“Do- Dose it, I- I c- can ta- take-“ you tried, the black of your decay starting to show at the bottom of your throat. He would loose the ability to dose you soon, you would loose to the pain inside you. He sobbed, his ruddy face turning red as tears came to the old vampire’s eyes.
“Please, lass,” he breathed, and you shook your head, groaning as another wave hit you, your body bowing as your hands clutched at nothing, vines sprouting from nowhere and breaking the glass windows of Larissa’s office.
Larissa . Your mind whispered to you, and the next wave of emotion had you screaming, truly screaming. She had never seen you scream from pain before. Oh god, she had never heard you scream like that. That was the sound of a broken woman, begging for death. She had never heard it before, and it was chilling.
“No- Ophelia- we didn’t- she was showing me a vision, please!” She cried, and the sound of her voice only had you sobbing harder, your mind too far gone to comprehend her. It was too much. All the years you had lived, all the pain you had felt, all you had survived. Yet it seemed that this is what would end you.
You would rather die than become the weapon others had tried to make of you.
You felt another syringe be pressed into your hand, and you used the last of your will to hold onto it, your arm shaking as you brought it to your neck, Jenkins guiding you as blood started to spill from your lips, the needle went in, you pressed down, and for a long moment you were terrified it wouldn’t be enough.
It wouldn’t be enough, you wanted to scream in anguish.
Your body was essentially a dirty bomb, waiting to explode into toxic plant life, flooding the atmosphere with deadly pollen that would choke any living thing for miles. Your body would protect itself longer than you would have control of it, and it would destroy everything, you included, to do so. You weren’t human, you were a weapon, and you felt yourself vomit over your own body as you realized that you would finally be detonated, like so many had wished of you. Jenkins turned you to your side, helping you heave, your nails clawing into the carpet as you sobbed hysterically, curling up and waiting for it to end, and then it stopped.
It all stopped.
You felt the moment the second dose of serum spread through your system, the moment your ability was dampened. It started slow, it was, after all, something similar to a tranquilizer or narcotic, it would calm you and your body until there was nothing left to calm, and you sighed as you felt the pain start to leave you. The shaking began to stop, the convulsions slowing as you began to fall still, fall silent. The pain was leaving, your breath came easier, a feeling you recognized from years ago, a feeling of floating above the world.
It was over.
You smiled.
“No, please, please lass, don’t, hold on, fight damnit!!!” Jenkins screamed over you, and you could vaguely hear him barking orders to Sugar. Moss was over you a moment later, her hands shaking as she ripped off what was left of your clothing, tears falling onto your body as she looked you over, watching the black slowly seep back to your hands. At the same time she could hear your heart slowing down, too much, far too much.
“Adrenaline! Give her adrenaline!” Jenkins screamed, and the doctor shook her head.
“I- it would start the reaction over again.” She whispered, and you heard a scream from behind her. Mirella was there, Sugar had gotten Mirella, who looked like she had been in class from the choice of clothing.
You blinked up at her strangely, the world spinning, far away.
“Ophelia?” She whispered, grabbing your hand, and you hummed softly, not looking at her, but beyond her. You didn’t have the wherewithal to respond. You didn’t know why they were so upset, the reaction stopped, they were going to be alright. You were going to sleep, just a little sleep, and you would never have to get up or feel any pain ever again. It was a good thing, you didn’t know why they were so saddened by it.
“No no no, please, please don’t, I need you, I need you! I can’t!” She sobbed, and you shook your head gently, the world spinning as your breaths became shallower. Another ‘pop’ signified the arrival of Wednesday, who was at your side in a moment, her own mother over her shoulder as Larissa watched you, spread out like an angel, dying on her floor.
She was frozen, utterly frozen in place.
How could this happen? How could a misunderstanding lead to this? She had told you! You knew it was Morticia transferring a vision, how could you not understand? You may be angry, but how could you feel this strongly? How could… How could you feel this strongly for her? And how could you hold this inside you every time you were in pain? And how could she be the one to end it all? She couldn’t move, couldn’t even go to you as she laid, not understanding.
You were a wild thing, a creature of emotion, of instinct, but you were a scientist! You were an intelligent woman, how could you lose control of your emotions so quickly? How had you become so weak!!!! How did she make you so, so weak?
“Auntie?” You heard through the muffled waterscape of your senses, and you slowly moved your eyes to Wednesday, who was clutching at your hand desperately as she sobbed.
You couldn’t feel it.
“It’s…” you trailed for a moment, your breaths becoming shorter as your body began to shut down. “It doesn’t hurt anymore.” You smiled, and she just cried, shaking her head. You could hear her calling out to you, just as you could hear a hoarse Scottish accent trying to calm you as big hands ran through your hair. He was trying to console you, make you comfortable like Georgianna used to.
He kissed your forehead like he had done when you were young, pulling your upper body into his lap, his big arms keeping you safe from whatever you feared would come for you.
You wished you had the words to tell him you didn’t need it, that it was alright, nothing would ever be able to come for you again. That you had fought for so long, you were ready to go. You were ready to rest.
Your eyes started to drift closed, your heart slowing further, your breaths shallow.
It wasn’t as cold as you would expect. You were surrounded by your family, it was alright, this was a good way for you. You wouldn’t die alone, cold, and forgotten. You would die surrounded by your family, and that was a good death, you thought. A relaxed smile was the last thing on your face as your pulse stopped, Moss monitoring you as she watched you slip away, your heart finally at rest as your lungs failed to pull in anymore oxygen.
You were gone.
Wednesday screamed.
Mirella sobbed inconsolably, Sugar stood behind her, attempting to comfort the shifter from where she had fallen to the floor.
Morticia shook her head in shock, Jenkins cradled your still body.
Larissa couldn't feel anything.
It was silent, as if all the sound in the world had been sucked away. She didn’t feel like she was still in her body, she felt dizzy, almost, like she wasn’t the one crumpled toe the floor, staking at the lifeless body only feet from her.
You looked so still, you had always been so full of life, even in your exhaustion you had been warm and light, how could you be so still?
Why didn’t you fix your shoelace? It had come undone, your heeled boots were so specific, why didn’t you fix them.
No one moved.
Then Moss looked at the clock, looked at you, and nodded.
“We need to get her out of here.” Moss rasped, and the man holding you shook his head.
“No, not yet, let her rest. At- at least for a moment.” He whispered, and the doctor shook her head, glancing to those around her.
“We don’t know what her body will do, we need to get her out of here.” She argued, and Wednesday looked like she might scratch and bite just to keep them from taking your body away. “Miss Wednesday, we have to, if her body begins to… there are many possibilities, and all of them would negate what she- what she chose to do. We need to take her.” She said, and the girl just sobbed, her mother picking her up gently, pulling her away from your body.
The smile was still on your face.
It still felt silent, Larissa noticed. It had been so loud when you were in pain, glass breaking, your screaming, other sobbing, but now it was silent. Somehow the silence was worse. She could hear Mirella crying softly, Wednesday sobbing, but it was silent.
“She knows I transfer visions like that, why would she….” Morticia trailed, and Larissa couldn’t speak. She wasn’t able to.
“Because it doesn’t feckin matter what she knows, Addams. ” Jenkins spat. “It’s what she feels.” He rasped, and Morticia’s broken inhale told him all he needed to know. She didn’t do this intentionally, he doubted she had it in her. Something happened, and from how close your sister and the principal were when he entered the room he could guess what it was. As soon as you felt that he doubted you would have heard a word they said.
There were some things even you had to feel before you could understand them.
“What- what happened?” Wednesday asked, and Morticia just shook her head, Jenkins looking to the young girl. Her mother likely didn’t have the words, and poor Tippi looked like she was about to pass out. He didn’t blame her.
“She finally felt something she couldn’t control.” Was all he managed to say.
“Now, Jenkins.” Moss said quietly, and he nodded, allowing Wednesday to squeeze your hand one last time. You would have wanted that.
Sugar grabbed Jenkins, Moss, and your body, and they were gone.
You were gone.
It was over.
Wednesday sat up, pushing her mother away, much to the shock of the woman, and walked over to Larissa. Her eyes didn’t move from where your body had been. She was on her knees on the ground, she didn’t remember falling, all she remembered was the smile on your face.
You had looked so peaceful.
She expected Wednesday to hit her, to scream, to say it was all her fault, to try to throttle the woman if she could. The last thing she expected was Wednesday to sink down in front of her, crying as she grabbed onto the principal, curling into her as she sobbed. Larissa’s arms came around her on instinct, pulling the girl into her lap and holding her close, Mirella there a second later as the three of them stared at where you once laid.
A holy family portrait, staring where an angel had fallen.
…
Moss laid your body down on the table as soon as the teleported to the lab, sealing it off and beginning compressions immediately.
“Jenkins, count.” The doctor rasped, and he looked to her in shock.
“What?” He gritted, tears streaming down the normally stoic Scotsman's face.
“Count, we have four minutes, so start your watch.” She hissed, and pushed the rest of them away from your body. She straddled your corpse, beginning pushing down harder as she looked at Sugar. “Get out of here!” She yelled. “Seal off everything, the containment lab doors are supposed to be strong enough, but seal off everything . I want everything near the dorms sealed.” She instructed, and Sugar was gone. They were quite a few miles away from the hospital, the second, smaller lab a failsafe for if this ever happened to you, yet the threat of what you could do still shook the psychic to her core. Jenkins grabbed the doctor’s arm.
“She’ll kill you, the moment you bring her back her body will- she could kill you.” He gritted, and Moss nodded.
“Yes, yes she might, but she won’t take out a school.” She said, and his eyes went wide. “I’m staying with you.” He said as he pushed her off, capable of doing deeper and steadier compressions than the psychic.
“We can’t risk loosing the both of you.” She argued, and Jenkins looked at her, his eyes dark in a threat she had never seen turned on anyone from the hospital.
“She is the closest thing I’ve got to a feckin daughter, I’m not feckin leaving her now!” He spat, and Moss’ eyes went wide, nodding silently.
…
Larissa didn’t remember getting ready for bed. She didn’t remember bathing, or washing her hair. She didn’t remember how it ended up braided, but she knew Morticia had been there at some point.
Somehow Morticia had seemed ready for this, as if she knew this might happen. Obviously not when she transferred the vision, but it seemed like your sister had been waiting for the call that you died since you were both twelve years old.
At one point the woman had stepped out, answering a phone call, coming in a few minutes later with the gleam of fresh tears in her eyes, yet something else, something Larissa couldn’t see, not as she was.
That was good, Morticia didn’t want her to know, her or Wednesday, unless the doctor you worked with could start your heart again. Morticia wouldn’t put them through hope, she had seen what it could do to someone when it was taken away. She sat silently after getting Larissa and Wednesday ready for bed, watching the fire as you often did. Waiting.
Mirella had left at some point, likely via Sugar, and Larissa remembered the other of her kind hugging her, saying that she would come back tomorrow, yet she didn’t know why. She didn’t know why the girl would come back if she had triggered something that ended up killing you.
Your emotions were stronger than your mind, they always had been.
But she didn’t know they could do that.
How could she ever have known they could do that?
You may have known how your sister transferred visions, and that Larissa would never- ever, do that to you, yet you had felt how she once felt for your sister, and it seemed that feeling was stronger than all the logic you could muster. You were a woman who grew pretty flowers, you shouldn’t have had to do more than bloom and tell others what they meant.
She looked down at her bed, the sheets had been changed, they sat off in a pile in her washroom, Morticia must have done that, and Wednesday was standing next to her bed in a nightgown. Morticia sat in a chair by the fire, watching it closely as Larissa sat on the edge of her bed, staring into nothing.
Larissa must have laid down eventually, as she woke in the middle of the night to someone crying against her chest. She gasped as she looked down to find Wednesday, crying out for you as she clutched onto the shifter, her mother asleep in a chair by the fire. She didn’t know what to do, she had no idea how to comfort the girl, but she knew what you would do.
She wrapped her arms around Wednesday slowly, gently, as she spoke to her softly. She told Wednesday that she was alright, that her aunt loved her very much, and that she was safe. She couldn’t say it would be alright, she didn’t know how to. It felt like it never would, but the girl needed her now, and so she found the words, pulling Wednesday onto her lap and rocking her back to sleep like a child, like how you had rocked yourself on your feet every time you couldn’t process something too big for your body.
She didn’t know why Wednesday wanted her, genuinely, she would think she was the last person Wednesday would want, and yet here the girl was, refusing to leave her arms.
The night was slow, every hour felt like eternity, like too much time. How did the world have so much time when you weren’t there? You were supposed to be there, you were supposed to always be there! You had said you would come back to her, you had promised!!!
You had promised.
She had never seen you as weak as she did in that moment. Your face looked as if you had been shot in the chest and you were trying to hide it. You looked as if you were trying to somehow cover up cracks in your very foundation with paint, a small, desperate attempt to somehow control your reaction, your emotions. You had lost the battle before it even started. She had seen you upset, seen you broken and begging even, but seeing you so utterly destroyed, she didn’t understand.
Yet somehow she did.
Her entire life she had felt unlovable, unwanted. Her father had proved that to her time and time again. He had attempted to cure her of her outcast ability, and beaten her when that did not work. He tried to rid her of warmth, feeling, any emotion. He attempted to scare her into repressing them so deeply that she would never shift based on any instinct or emotion. He had injected her with things to take her ability, to try to wrench it out of her, only to sneer at her in disappointment when she suffered every one of his failures. Every time her father failed, he blamed her. She had grown believing she was so unworthy of love, of anything, that when she first felt it from Morticia, even in the hidden, toy-like manner the woman had once loved her, if one could call it that, it felt like she was too much, undeserving. When you had looked at her, in the beginning, she felt as if she did not deserve it. How could she? There was no way for her to be worthy of all you could give, if you let yourself.
She had no idea how she, of all people, was the one that somehow held your attention, your trust. When you had given her your trust, it finally broke the feeling of unworthiness. She had no idea why the children at your hospital found her so inspiring, she had never done anything truly remarkable, she didn’t save lives like you did, or anything remotely similar. Yet those girls had looked at her the same way you did, as if she was the most incredible thing in the world.
The wonder, that’s what it was in your eyes, the wonder you had when you looked at her was so pure, almost innocent, in a way. You trusted her to allow your girls to meet her, to look at her like that. You trusted her to sit in your room and speak with them, to talk with Mirella, to- to visit your home. That was perhaps when she had felt the most loved, the first time she had felt worthy of all the love you were capable of giving. That was when you had shown her all she was to you, the woman she loved, and trusted. And in one moment, she had shattered and broken it. In one moment, all of it had been swept away, shattered like glass.
You were an incredibly strong woman, yet you had been hit exactly where you were weakest. You had felt like she did, that wonder, it wasn’t just you marveling at her, it was you marveling at how she could love you. She cried silently at the realization, you had felt the same, every time you looked at her you wondered, as she did.
The little white flowers you often bloomed- they were signs of wonder, she knew that, yet it wasn’t only at her, it was that she loved you. Her heart ached, she felt empty, hollow, as if there was some sickness inside her eating away at what she was, unable to handle it. She felt so, utterly broken.
A part of her had been ripped away, Morticia had said, now she knew the feeling, what it was to have you in her life, and to have it taken away. Perhaps your sister was more understandable than she had thought. Perhaps she had once helped fill this ache in your sister, in a way, the need to have your love, although a different kind, back.
She could understand that fairly easily now.
Only this ache was permanent, this was never going away, she knew that much. You had looked beautiful in your final moments, she thought. It made her cry all the more.
…
When the grey light of morning came she felt no different, she hadn’t slept, only held Wednesday throughout the night as Morticia stared into the fire, silent. Part of her wondered what your twin was feeling, she knew you and Morticia were connected, not to mention the psychic bonds of twins were said to be stronger. She wondered what it felt like, if Morticia could still feel it, if she could feel you. Then the sinking realization that you were gone would drag her down again, her chest feeling empty, as if there was an ache inside her she couldn’t fill.
A knock came at the door, yet she didn’t even look, couldn’t look up, there was no point to it. Morticia went to the door, opening it before she gasped, pulling whoever it was into a soul crushing hug.
“No,” came a soft voice from the door, and Larissa looked up at the young shifter you had raised, Mirella standing before her in her room, yet the girl wore… white.
“How, how asleep is she?” She asked, nodding to Wednesday, who was still hidden in Larissa’s arms. She gently brushed over the girl’s face, feeling no response.
“She’s asleep.” Was all Larissa managed, almost shocked at her own voice. If she was capable of handling another emotion she would have been horrified at how broken her voice sounded, how raspy and worn it had been from a night without sleep, a night full of tears and ragged breaths as she tried to keep still, to keep from waking Wednesday.
“We shouldn’t- well it’s not my decision to tell the girl, but… It won’t-”
“For fuck’s sake, spit it out!” Morticia hissed, and Larissa would have laughed in surprise at any other time. She had never heard your sister speak like that before, rushed and out of control, and when had Morticia become your sister as opposed to you being hers? She supposed it didn’t matter now.
Mirella sat on the bed, gently, taking Larissa’s hand, blinking at her slowly, what was this? Why was she bracing her, what could possibly be worse? She felt sick to her stomach, tears rising to her eyes as she shook her head, she couldn’t handle any more, not today. She just couldn’t.
“Moss was able to get her heart started again, and from what we know she has full brain function, she woke up a few hours ago, but she… It’s not Ophelia, Miss Weems, it’s the medic.” Mirella whispered, and Larissa’s heart nearly stopped.
“What?” She breathed, her normal eloquence gone. Mirella shook her head.
“She won’t talk to me, she won’t even talk to Jenkins, she woke, left containment and went to her lab, she can speak, Moss ran tests on her and since then she’s been working under the doctor’s supervision, but… I don’t know how close to the madness she got this time, Miss Weems, I don’t know if she can come back from it.” Mirella swallowed, tears streaming down her face. Larissa looked to her, her own eyes drowning in tears.
“She’s alive?”
Notes:
Comments please?
Chapter 35: Connections
Summary:
Larissa finds herself spinning out, yet even when you cannot ground her, she finds comfort in pieces of you that have found home in other hearts.
WARNING: Grief/Themes of Death/Brief mention of a dead body/Self Harming behaviors/Disordered eating/Mentions of addiction & Drug Use
Notes:
As usual, I am LATE. This chapter was very difficult to write, it just didn’t want to come to me, so I would greatly appreciate any feedback, and as always, enjoy
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
“Get out.”
“Phelia, at least let me-’
“GET OUT!” You screamed, the room practically shaking with your voice, and the threat of your ability as he saw the black at your knuckles begin to spread up your hands. Yet you had never looked away from your work. Your body remained eerily still, bent over a cadaver, your eyes wide and bloodshot from constant switching back and forth between your microscope and the body.
Jenkins physically shook at seeing you. You were never like this, he had seen you wild and mad, but never like this. Even with Georgianna it was… it was never like this. That had been a grief so deep he feared you would never come back. He didn’t know what this was.
He knew it would be bad, every part of him was aware it would be bad. He knew that you were a woman on the verge of madness, you had been your entire life, yet this…
He had never imagined this. It had been a week, seven days, seven days of this. You had nearly physically thrown Moss from the room on your second day after she had, once again, attempted to get you to eat.
You hadn’t eaten. Of course you hadn’t eaten, of course you wouldn’t care for yourself when you needed it most, that was somehow your logic.
In seven. Fucking. Days.
You hadn’t eaten.
He was going to lose it. This may be the time he finally killed you, if you didn’t inadvertently kill yourself.
His anger left him as quickly as it had come, however. He felt, for the first time in a long time, terrified. He often felt fear, that was a part of this job, one felt fear constantly. He had felt fear on missions, seeing you go on them, but the last time he felt terrified, this kind of terrified, was after Georgianna had died.
He had seen you then, the weight you took on without batting an eye in front of anyone. He had been terrified of how you would survive, how all of you would. Then you had managed to make him forget it. Somehow, you had made him forget his fear as you took the weight of the world on your shoulders, unwilling to allow him to share the load. Your grief had been tossed aside, yet this wasn’t grief, at least not in the way you had been through it before. You had relapsed, yes, but you had gotten through it before.
There were moments he remembered, moments after you had passed out where he would patch up your track marks, hook up an IV line to you, anything, yet this, he didn’t know what to do now. He didn’t know if you had taken anything, before he at least had some idea of what you were on, but you wouldn’t even let you in the room. He couldn’t- if you went down he couldn’t get into the room to give you narcan, he coudln;t stop you from overdosing if you were on anything. He couldn’t even get you to eat. He couldn’t save you.
There had been a period of time where you had taken all the opiates from the lab, giving them to him and telling him to hide them from you, keep them under lock and key. He remembered that day, you shaking, pressing vials into his hands as you came down, begging him to stop you next time, knowing that there was only so much he could do before you put him in danger, begging him to keep the children safe from you as you attempted to get clean.
There were some other things in the lab you could use that only he had the key to, Moss did as well, but she wouldn’t have given it to you. Perhaps that was why you had thrown her out.
He just didn’t know, and that was terrifying him. Every moment was like some sort of test to see if you would walk out that door.
He had waited next to it after you had thrown him out for a few hours before trudging up to the main house and the kitchens, one look telling the cook what was going on. She whipped up some of your favorites while he worked on his laptop, handling logistics he would have given anything for Georgianna to be able to run again. He was a smart man, somewhat, but he much preferred being the muscle to your brains and her charm. For now, however, he would do his best to handle it, he would ease the weight a little, as long as he could. He couldn’t do many of the things she and you had been able to master, he could do none of the research you were abkle to do, but he would take on as much as possible for now. He would find a way.
…
Larissa sat in her office, staring at the windows being replaced.
The men had been in and out all day, thankfully without much fuss. Getting workmen to come up to the academy could be difficult, and with the looks of this… it wasn’t good. Mirella had stayed for a little while after delivering the news, heading back to the office and slowly cleaning up the dead flowers with Morticia. Larissa had went to help, wanted to, but the two of them made it very clear that she was to stay with Wednesday, a knowing look between them articulating what they could not say, that your lover should not have to clean up the remnants of the woman she loved, and the ability that destroyed her.
The black dahlias, symbols of betrayal and grief, had flooded the office, and withered when your heart had stopped. Plants could be sustained by your presence, but they would whither once you were gone if not planted and cared for properly. Life could not be sustained only by a memory.
Morticia had let out a sob when she walked into the office, Mirella glaring daggers at her. They psychic could feel the wrath and ire of the young woman in the room with her, looking at her as if she had taken her mother from her.
Perhaps Morticia had.
She had pulled Larissa close, giving her no warning, yet she just wanted to show her the vision, to let her see you happy, and she knew the shifter would feel apprehensive, at best, at allowing the raven haired woman a kiss. You, however, she should have known you better.
You trusted Larissa, she knew that much, she could feel that much from you.
You trusted Larissa with your life, with your heart. With your girls too, it seemed. You had trusted the shifter with Wednesday, in a way Morticia had never thought, and seemingly with the hospital, somewhere even she had never been. What she didn’t know, or hadn’t wanted to, was just how passionate you were about the woman.
She had felt it, coming off you in waves, after you had seen them. You had lost yourself in the depth of feeling, all the love and safety you felt with her flipped on it’s head for just a moment, and by the time you realized what was going on, that it was a transfer of vision, it was too late.
You had known what they were doing, and lost yourself in the shock regardless. You hadn’t trusted Larissa any less in your final moments, but you had been shocked and hurt for a moment, which led to horror at your body’s reaction to said shock, and a spiraling loss of your control before you could tell them you knew what they were doing.
For all you had lived through, every betrayal that had been made told your body to protect itself, to kill. She didn’t know much of what that man had done to you, she knew you had dissapeared for a few months, and when you came back you were… You had been betrayed by an informant, and the price that man had extracted from you made your body react in a way that would rather end your own life then let him- or anyone else- have you again.
Jenkins was right in the end, it didn’t matter what you knew, only how you felt.
And betrayal was the most deadly feeling of all.
Morticia worked silently as she and Mirella cleaned away the dead and dying flowers, watching what was left of you be swept away, knowing that somewhere your body was still working, the Medic was alive and, not well, but alive, while the remnants of Ophelia laid scattered on the office floor.
Larissa had received a letter the day before the contractors began replacing the glass, a short note inside and a check from Jenkins was all she had heard since you had gone. He had overestimated it seemed, providing for far more that the contractors would need to replace the glass, with a note telling her that what he had said in his last letter remained true, that he would still be there, the hospital would be there for her if she wished it, but warning her that you would not be the same, even if you were there.
The mention of the last letter stirred her mind, the woman vaguely recalling Sugar having brought it to her the night before… before everything.
She opened her desk drawer, finding it there, an envelope with “Tippi” written across it. She inhaled sharply, tears already coming to her eyes. Not here, she couldn’t not- would not do this here. She would not break in front of anyone.
She looked over the workers once more before retreating to her bedroom, leaning against the wall the moment she stepped in and locked the door.
Immediately she unshifted, revealing all that she had hidden away. It was exhausting, she was exhausted. Her hair had fallen limp and unkempt, she had done it naturally her entire life, until now.
Now she couldn’t find the will to hold her arms up long enough to pin each curl in place, her hands would shake the moment she thought of the times you had let her run her hands through your hair, or your comments on how hers caught the light.
She couldn’t think of all of that, she didn’t have the strength.
She had no makeup on, her clothes were rumpled and messy, she felt as if there was no way to find the energy, the will to put herself together as she did every morning.
The letter was smooth in her hand, still crisp and clean, so different then what she had become. It almost felt like it was addressed to someone else, as if the woman this was meant for wasn’t someone she was anymore.
She went to sit on the edge of the bed, opening it carefully, not wanting to crease or tear the paper. It was precious to her, as if her care of this letter could somehow translate to you, that you could somehow feel the care she had for you still.
“Dear Tippi” it began, and she found herself trying not to laugh and cry at how Jenkins addressed her.
She did love Tippi Hedren, her fashion was largely inspired by the Hitchcock heroine, yet now as she sunk to the floor, scattered wine glasses and bottles about her room, she felt completely divested of her former perfection.
“I’m watching our girl again” the man wrote, and she sobbed. Ophelia, he was talking about Ophelia, not the medic, not the professor, not anyone else you had to be, he was talking about the part of you that was gone, that she had a hand in taking from the world. It was shattering. He spoke of her aunt, and Larissa felt a deep shame rise within her. What would she say now? If she could see her niece, the blood of the woman she raised on the fellow shifter’s hands, what would she say? She often wondered what Victoria thought of the two of you, she was at least proud, she had told her so, and before you had… before everything you had told Larissa you often thought the woman showed you visions comparing her and her aunt, as if she was happy you two had found each other.
She felt sick, bile rose in her throat as she thought of it. Jenkins had said that he thought he lost you when her aunt had died, and now that he finally had, it was her who had caused it. He had written that she and her aunt had saved you, in mind and body, yet the two of them were the ones that destroyed you just the same.
Part of her wished you had never met her aunt, or had been rescued but never seen Victoria- or Georgianna. Maybe if you had never come to Nevermore, maybe then you would still be alive. Maybe if you had never met her, if it was just the visions you had of her, maybe then.
He had written that there would always be a place for her, at the hospital, had even said it again in the second letter, but how could she ever claim it? How could she allow herself that? It would be wrong, beyond wrong, and cruel for her to do so. She could not become part of a family after destroying the one that held them together.
She could never make up for that.
There simply wasn’t a way she could see. You had spent your entire life attempting to pay back your own rescue, and still you had never felt it was enough. You could never make up for the fact that it was you that had survived.
How could she even make up for being the one to destroy you?
Yet a fire lit in her reading the letter nonetheless. She had promised you once that she would love you, in any capacity, no matter who you were, she had promised your niece the same thing.
She did not deserve a place in the hospital, her throat burned as she realized your home, her aunt’s home, would never be somewhere she could consider hers, but she would do all she could to make up for what they had lost. The woman didn’t know where to start, or how to start, she knew she could never make up for the loss you would be for them, but she could try.
She could try to lessen the blow.
Larissa was a dedicated woman, if anything, the top of her field in outcast education, and if they had lost their mother, then she would find a way to give them the only thing she knew, a teacher.
…
It was simple enough to start, she used the number Sugar had given her to call, asking to speak to Jenkins, finding the Scotsman in her, now restored, office the next day, his eyes looking exhausted and full of pity under his glasses. The man let himself in after knocking, finding the pale woman sitting at her desk, typing away at her laptop, with hand-written notes next to her.
“What is your current education programme?” She asked him formally as he walked in, his eyes widening a bit. So she was like Georgie in that sense too, no emotions, straight to work, if she didn’t let herself feel it then it would go away. At least that seemed to be the theory, which normally resulted in him finding Georgianna passed out in her office and approximately six bottles of wine.
“Hello to you too, Tippi.” He sighed, and she swallowed something down, stiffening slightly before looking back at her work.
“I’d also like a list of names and ages, I can see how that would be a security risk, however I would find it difficult to write letters if I wasn’t aware of the recipient.” She replied, and he sighed, sitting in the chair across from her, pulling out a large phone from his pocket.
“Aye, jes’ feckin like her.” He sighed, pulling up a few documents. If the woman had heard his comment, which he highly doubted she didn’t, she was choosing to ignore it. “We run education similar to a school, but we ‘ave to tailor th’ program to each student, clearly.” He answered, and she hummed, adding the information to whatever she was doing.
“Who runs it?” She responded, and he rolled his eyes. Stubborn as her aunt was, that one.
“A few former teachers, previously we ‘ad Georgie, and…” He trailed and she swallowed again, her hands tensing for a moment. You were a professor, of course you would have overseen that as well.
“Did she teach?” She asked, and he shook his head. You couldn’t, it wasn’t that you did enjoy it, you loved it in fact, and often taught classes when you were home, however with the amount you traveled and the missions you went on, you could not easily commit to a set schedule for the children, who needed stability.
“Not normally, not ‘less somethin’ happened or we ‘ad someone nane else could be in the room with.” He explained, and for the first time she looked up from the laptop, her eyes shifting a moment to reveal the dark circles and red rings around them before she blinked, finding her control again.
She really was just like Georgianna, and it broke the man’s heart to see her in pain much the way it once broke to see her aunt. He had been following this woman’s career for years, always keeping an eye on her. Through that time, and through his love of Georgie he formed an attachment to the younger shifter, much in the way he thought of you as his family, she often was, or at least the idea of her was. Like a child perpetually far away at school, but not one he loved any less.
“Lass, ye can’t ignore it forever.” He sighed, and she stiffened, going back to typing. She was determined not to break, and certainly not in front of this man. She had all but caused your death, she would not look for comfort in the closest thing you had to a father figure. She certainly would not ask him for it.
“I have no idea what you are referring to.” She responded, and he raised his brows.
“Aye, and neither did yer aunt, ye both jes pretend yer fine and get pissy when I’m concerned.” He scoffed, pulling out a flask from seemingly nowhere. Her face hardened as she looked up at him, anger filling her for some unknown reason before seeing the large man looking at her pointedly while simultaneously drinking. Her heart stopped for a moment.
She had seen that look before.
She had seen it many times.
That was the look fathers gave their daughters when she called them into her office to discuss whatever it was the girl had done. That look that said ‘You’re just like your mother, why do I have to love you two?’ in such a warm and gentle way that it had taken her breath away many a time, forcing her to look away for a moment before resuming the meeting. It was a look she had wished her father had given her, a look she had always wanted. It was how Jenkins often looked at you.
She didn’t feel the first few tears fall. She saw the man’s frown deepen, his concern etched into his unaging face as he leaned forward a bit, looking away for a moment yet not pulling away in the slightest.
Then she was crying.
She was crying and she couldn’t stop, and the man was by her side in a moment, not saying anything, not overstepping their familiarity, but just standing there, by her side, as she sobbed. A large hand found it’s way onto her shoulder, the weight of the burly vampire strangely comforting.
She didn’t know why she hugged the older man, it was incredibly unlike her, but the moment she reached for him he had her in his arms, sighing and petting her back gently.
“I know lass, I know.” Was all he said. He held her calmly, stoically, and she understood why you had become so close to the man. From what she knew your father had always been cruel and disdainful of you, hell the man had hit you in her own office, given you a bloody nose without a thought other than that you deserved it, but this man was warm, especially for a vampire, and kind, and his suddenly soft voice felt like sitting by a fire after walking through a long ice storm.
He felt like part of you, and you had felt like home.
She didn’t know how long he held her, just that eventually they were both sitting on the couch by the fire, her leaning on him with her feet tucked up under her while he talked about random things, nonsense, students, her aunt, you as a kid, anything but where you were now, what you were doing.
She had felt like she knew this man for lifetimes, yet she really barely knew him at all.
She stiffened suddenly, realizing how ridiculously childish she was at the moment. He seemed to notice, nodding as she sat up, clearing his throat.
“Eh, ye, ehm…” He thought for a moment, and she almost laughed at the sheer absurdity of the situation. “Aye, yer family lass, yer entitled to a few soft moments.” He grunted, shifting and pulling out the flask again, making her roll her eyes.
“Do you always carry that?” She asked him, and he looked at her like she had grown three heads.
“Ye ‘ave met the women I work with, aye?” He asked, and a small smile found its way onto her face.
“You also work with children.” She reminded him, and he raised an eyebrow at her.
“Oh, get smart with me, wee one, yer a feckin identical copy of the woman I can only describe as my feckin work wife, or worse, sister, and I’ll bet I can list what you’ve got in yer liquor cabinet down the year and batch.” He shot, and she blushed, looking away. Yet something about the statement made her feel warm, as if she was somehow a part of something.
She was quiet for a moment before she found her words.
“Are we really that similar?” She asked him, and he nodded, looking into the fire as you often did. Perhaps he was where you learned it from.
“Nearly feckin identical.” He said tiredly, yet there was a small smirk to his lips. “Let me guess, yer favorite food is hot chocolate, a’ which point someone will tell you that’s not a food ‘an you have quite the argument ta that, followed by a shameful addiction to mac’n’cheese, which you will tell no one but will somehow appear in the kitchen. Ye have a feckin vintage lipstick collection.” He mocked. “Don’t ya worry, hers is with the rest of the shit she left to ye- ye have at least one IF NOT MORE vintage dresses that ye can’t wear without shiftin’ so ye never do, but it’s somehow yer favorite article of clothin’, aaaand how did I do?” He smiled at the woman, who looked at him in utter shock, her jaw slightly slack.
“You- How- She left things to me?” She asked quietly, and he nodded, the teasing in his smile fading to a softer one. His heart broke for the woman, yet he was so happy to finally be able to allow her into the home her aunt had built- all in an attempt to save her.
“Aye, the best room at the manor is yours, a massive wardrobe, another estate, many personal items, and more money than I would know what to do with.” He smirked at the last bit, taking another drink. “We hadn’t gotten to sorting out all of it yet, it’s part of the reason she sent Philly here I think, the Manor is in trust, with her as the executor, but many of her things for ye are there, we would ‘ave had to essentially force you to sign an NDA at feckin gunpoint to give it to ye before, so it’s nice the idiot finally showed up at yer school.” He smiled softly, and again Larissa found her breath taken away.
She expected the man to hate her, at the very least be angry with her, and yet here he was comforting her and teasing about you. He should be screaming at her, telling her how all of it was her fault, how she had ruined everything.
“You don’t- you don’t regret her coming here?” She whispered, her voice broken.
“Oh lass,” He sighed again, shaking his head as he took her hand gently, neither of them looking at each other. It would be too much to, at this moment. “Phi-” He cut himself off, swallowing before he started again. “Ophelia has been o’ lot o’ things, lass, but she’s never been loved- an believed it, not ‘till you.” He sighed. “Of course I wanted my girl to feel that.” He said softly, biting down on the inside of his lip before he grunted and sniffed, looking away for a moment. “It’s not yer fault, ye know.” He said softly, and Larissa stilled, unable to speak.
It was, how could he not know it was.
He turned to look at her, good lord she looked like her aunt then, with the weight of the world on her shoulders.
“Lass, it’s not yer fault.” He said again. She shook her head, bitting down on her lip as he placed his hands on her shoulders. “She knew ye, she trusted ye, she…” He trailed, sighing deeply.
He could tell her, it might break the woman’s heart, but that was better than allowing her to hate herself.
“Ye canne tell anyone this.” He said before falling silent for a moment, closing his eyes before looking back up into hers.
Knowing was hard enough, saying it out loud- he wasn’t sure how to get through it.
“Moss could hear her, an ye cannae ask Moss ‘cause it’ll break her to speak Philly’s words again, but ‘er last thought, before the drugs were too strong fer her to think was… She kept sayin it was ok, lass. That it was her time, she was done.” He whispered, his throat closing up a bit.
He closed his eyes. You had lived so long, fought so long. He didn’t have the strength to imagine all you had given in service of the outcast children you protected. To give your life rather than harm hers it was… it was poetic in a way.
“That woman has lived through things we cannae imagine, and shouldn't, but her last thought was that she knew, she knew what you were doin, she lost control before she could tell ye, but she knew, an’ it wasn’t yer fault, I promise ye lass, it wasn’t yer fault.” He breathed, pulling Larissa in when she sobbed.
He repeated those words again and again, kissing the crown of her head as he often did with you, holding her as he knew he wouldn’t be able to hold you again, parts of the family knitting back together as parts were ripped away.
It was strange, Larissa decided, to feel like she was part of something, like she was part of a family, and yet it made more sense than she could have ever thought to sit with this man and allow him to comfort her, the same way he had comforted you, and likely her aunt. It was strange to know that he was still there, that he wanted to be, after everything.
He shouldn’t be.
She eventually sat up, sniffing and turning away, utterly embarrassed by the sudden weakness she had showed.
“I- I apologize, I don’t know why I-“ He just hushed her, offering her a swig of the flask, to which she raised a brow.
“Don’t be uppity.” He scoffed, and she rolled her eyes, taking it delicately, before promptly shooting it back like a sailor. The man cackled, shaking his head at her when he calmed down. She flinched slightly, but nodded, she’d been avoiding hard liquor since she met you, since the night you had offered her wine.
She thought about the week that the two of you had been apart, angry, what she would give to have been able to live that week again, she would have fallen at your feet and begged you for forgiveness, worshipped you like her goddess until neither of you could ever forget it.
She didn’t want to forget it, she didn’t want to forget you.
Christ this was awful.
Other words were better, more articulate perhaps, but this was just awful. Simply and terribly awful.
“What is she… what is she like now?” She asked the man hesitantly, he visibly flinched at the question.
“Don’t ask that, lass.” He sighed, and she swallowed, stiffening her jaw.
“Well I am asking you.” She retorted, and he shook his head.
“Ye don’ wanna know the answer.” He said lowly, and she forced the man to look at her through sheer will alone.
“Yes, I do.” She gritted, taking his breath away with the conviction in her eyes. “That is the woman I love, or the body of the woman I love, whom I promised I would continue to love whether she could come back to me or not, so when I ask you how she is, you will tell me, Fergus.” She said firmly and the man’s eyes widened, the breath stolen from him for a moment.
He sat silently, his stoic expression faltering for a moment when he looked at her. He swallowed, breathing in deeply as he seemed to come to terms with something.
“You are, ye know yer so much like her, right?” He asked softly, as if it would be a thing to mourn if she didn’t.
“Like Ophelia?” She asked him, and he shook his head, clearing hit throat as he bit back some tears.
“No love, like yer auntie.” He sighed, staring at her for a moment, as if he wanted to shake her by the shoulders, tell her how much she mattered, make her feel the way he felt looking at her, knowing all he did and all the things her aunt wanted to say, but never got the chance to.
He didn’t have the words to tell her how her late aunt loved her.
She felt her mouth dry, looking down for a moment.
“I- I don’t beleive I could ever measure up to the woman my aunt was.” She said very quietly, calmly, this was fact to her, not degradation. The Scotsman shook his head, sighing.
“Now you sound like Philly.” He smiled a bit, following her gaze to look at the fire, where it stayed a moment, another silence falling over them. “She’s, she won’t let anyone in the lab, I don’t think she’s eaten since she woke up, but Moss had her on an IV drip and she can grow things for herself, if she’s willing.” He sighed. “Last time I tried to go in she pointed my gun at me.” He continued, hanging his head. Larissa swallowed in horror. “Moss tried to get in her head and she ended up sobbing on the floor, muttering about equations, I think. It’s hard to tell what she’s working on, probably reverse engineering whatever did… that to those girls.” He swallowed, the centuries old vampire himself shuddering. “Mirella, oh the poor girl, Mirella tried to talk to her, and thank Christ the medic didn’t do anything, but she wouldn’t let her in the lab, locked it down and let Mirella sob and scream by the door for hours.” He confessed, and Larissa sat there, shocked.
As long as she had known you, known of you, you were one of the most caring people she knew, she had seen you console students, hold Wednesday, hold her even, after all she had done.
You had dedicated your life to rescuing children, comforting and providing for them when no one else would. You had given your life for it, bleeding out in her own arms.
Yet now you wouldn’t even look at Mirella, a girl who looked up to you like her mother. She swallowed, feeling herself shake in worry. Jenkins’ hand was over hers in a moment, never taking his eyes off the fire.
Even he didn’t know how to help her with this.
“Have you ever met the medic?” He asked her, and she closed her eyes, remembering how you had looked the night that man had attacked her, how cold you became, uncaring, unfeeling even.
You had scared her that night. It had been the only time she had ever been scared of you, worried your eyes would stay cold, hard, vengeful. Yet they had softened when you looked at her, you had come back to yourself. For the first time that night you had come back to her.
“Have you looked into her eyes?” He asked, and she lowered her head, nodding. “That is who she is right now, Philly- Ophelia isn’t there. I don’t know if she ever will be again, I don’t know if the woman has enough strength for that.” He sighed, swallowing as tears came to his eyes. “She’s been through so much already…” he whispered, his voice breaking. You were one of, if not the strongest person he knew. You had crawled through hell, coming out scared and bloody. Yet to recon with almost killing those you cared for, to process that, you wouldn’t let yourself.
You hadn’t fully lost control since he knew you, at least not outside of the chamber Georgianna had built for you. He knew the men that had… that had taken you gave you suppressants, and for a long time after that you stayed the medic, or high.
You could deal with what had been done to you. He didn’t know if you could take what you could have done to others. Your heart had broken for a moment, and in that moment you almost destroyed everything. You had destroyed yourself even. Now he just… he didn’t know.
Larissa inhaled slowly, her mind thinking back to every moment she had with you, every time you surprised her. She thought of the first time she had seen your visions, knowing that little girl in pain became a brilliant, seemingly kind woman. She thought of when you had thrown your head back and stopped the bleeding after your father had punched you, carrying on as if nothing had happened and immediately seeking out your niece to comfort her.
When you opened your eyes again after that man had attacked you. When you kissed her after it, knowing she had held you. When you had lost yourself in a vision Morticia had forced you into, and come back to her arms to find safety.
The first night, at least consciously, you spent with her. The first night you let her touch you, despite your fear and hesitation. The first night you had slept by her side, and then in her arms. The time you fell from the sky to try to stop one of your own wards from hurting her, a falling angel still reaching to save them.
She thought of when you had screamed like a child at something someone had done to her kind, the woman you became to process it, and the woman you returned to her as, soft, loving, seeking the comfort she gave.
You always came back to her.
You promised you would always come back to her.
She had to believe you would again.
“I- I would like to know the academic programme you run, and allow the children to send me letters, preferably with their name and ages. I- I have resources, academic ones, I could use them. I want to use them.” She said firmly, and Jenkins nodded. If this is how she grieved, so be it.
He knew better than to try to stop her.
“Alright then love. Then we shall.” He sighed. The two of them spent the rest of the night going through how the hospital structured education. It was a bit of a mess, understandably. They did their best, and the children that stayed there permanently were educated to a minimum of finishing high school, often then completing online university, or by correspondence. Those who could leave the hospital, like Mirella, ‘graduated’ the hospital with the proper degree and testing to apply for university, in addition to an education on their own abilities quite frankly far better than most.
Larissa spent hours going over the program, downloading or ordering every book used, every text or method mentioned. She didn’t know what she was doing, but she had to do something, had to help.
The first letter she received was from Lily, the little girl she had seen you talk through being rescued. She sat silently reading it in her room, mug of tea trembling in her hand as the words sunk into her.
‘Dear Miss Weems,
My name is Lily! We met before, sort of. I think you were there when I met Ophelia. She’s really nice, I like her a lot. Everyone here does, and I get why. She’s the first person I can remember that’s made me feel like a person. She doesn’t touch us without asking, which is really nice, and the other kids say she likes to read bedtime stories when she’s here all the time. I know she’s here now, but Jenkins- he’s nice too, just so you know, says she’s sick, so she can’t see any of us. What I really wanted to talk about though was you. They tell a lot of stories about you here! Someone made a picture book, it’s a little messy, but I like it. Apparently the woman before Ophelia, they call her Georgie, used to talk about you when the shifters would get down on themselves. I get why, you’re really inspiring! I really just wanted to write to say thank you for being so inspiring, even if that’s silly. I also wanted to say that I’m glad you were there the day they took me in, also a bit silly I guess. But when I watched Ophelia talk about you her eyes got so warm! People’s eyes didn’t get like that back at the place they found me. It’s what made me know it was going to be ok here. So I know it might feel weird that you were there, but I wanted to say thanks.
So thanks!
Lily’
Larissa sat still in her bed for a while, the only sounds in the world that of the fire in her fireplace. She didn’t feel the first tears fall, but she felt the gratitude she had for you hit her harder than she could have ever expected. You had let her stay that day, you had allowed her into your home, your world. You took her into her aunt’s world, into the world of these children. You allowed her to help them.
She couldn’t have you, she knew that. You were gone. But she could still help them, and every letter she read felt like the smile you used to give her.
It almost felt like she could hold you again.
Wednesday had only stayed in her room a few nights, the girl thankfully going back to her dorm with Enid, hopefully the young werewolf could provide more warmth than she could. Anyone could, really.
Larissa had a reputation for being frigid, and the last thing she wanted to do was sob over children’s letters next to your niece.
She wrote well into the morning, responding to each letter with one of her own. She wrote personally, thanking the children for their words, answering questions, asking about their own lives in as much detail as she could without compromising the security of their home.
In the end she had been sent sixty two letters, yet she sent sixty five back. She added letters to Jenkins and Mirella.
Then she added one for you.
She didn’t know if you would read it. She hoped you would. She hoped that some part of you would feel it, would be comforted by it. She had written that one in the morning, at her desk.
Part of her didn’t know what to say, part of her had too much to say. In the end she knew better than to expect an answer, yet she had to, she didn’t know if she could keep going without writing it.
She had to.
Larissa divided her time nearly perfectly, almost. During the day she ran Nevermore, she monitored classes, spoke to students, planned and attended events.
At night she wrote letters, gave curriculum suggestions, anything she could do for your home. She wanted to help your home more than anything. It went on like this for a few days, and then a week, and then a few weeks.
She didn’t sleep, she couldn’t sleep. She couldn’t bear to sleep alone. She didn’t remember when that had happened, when she had become addicted to having you at her side, your warm body and hands around her. Her bed felt colder than it ever had, empty and lonely. In a few weeks she had felt lonelier than she ever had in the years she had spent alone.
Another substitute was found so she could stop covering your classes, Wednesday never attended when she did and she couldn’t bring herself to punish the girl.
How could she?
Morticia stopped by for “tea” a few times, checking on the headmistress and her daughter, watching the two carefully, holding her cards close to her chest. Morticia was a smart woman. She may move in different ways, but there was no doubt she could be just as sharp as you if she wished, she refused to allow Larissa to tell Wednesday. Morticia knew the girl may hate her for it, but she could deal with her daughter hating her, what she could not watch was Wednesday go through the same pain twice if she found out you were alive, but would never be the same.
This she could do.
Larissa had no right to question the woman’s decisions. She had seen it before, the last time Wednesday had thought you died. She wondered how many times Morticia didn’t tell the girl you were hurt, or you were on the urge of getting better. She wondered how much the woman had grieved alone, as she did now.
She wondered what you looked like in your lab, if your eyes were cold and hard as Jenkins had described. She wondered if they looked deadly. He said you had pulled a gun on him, but would you shoot him? Were you that broken? That far gone? Were your hands all black, or only your fingers. Had you eaten yet? You had to, there was no way you hadn’t and could survive.
She hoped you had.
She wanted to know what you would do after you had found the solution to your research. After you found out what had been done to the young shifters, what would you do next? She was scared, truly scared, and she had no idea what you would do.
Three weeks in she was typing on her laptop at the end of Nevermore’s school day, attempting to wrap it up before dark so she could finish going over the history curriculum of the hospital for the sixth years, wondering how you all managed to prep them for the exams they would have to take. Apparently you conducted evaluations during intakes, placing according to that rather than actual age, yet the levels of education you still called “years,” similar to the larger UK system.
It was a massive amount of information to give them as quickly as possible, and the fact that the Hospital could only run on so much staff for the safety of its secrecy meant each person who taught was stretched more than thin.
She was attempting to find wiggle room in the sheer amount they had to teach, prepping the children equally with life skills as well as for the exams, yet the task was beyond difficult.
These children barely knew how to be children, many that had written her were bed-bound, or were telling her with excitement of their personal collections they had made since they had come to the hospital. The joy the little ones had at owning their first toothbrush made her hate the ones that had prevented them from being as you saw them, as they were, just children.
A knock at her door broke her out of her mind wandering and she sighed deeply, blinking at the half typed out form she was working on.
She shut her eyes for a moment, lowering her head to her shaking hands. She was fine, this was fine. She could cover her exhaustion with some simple shifting, and she would much rather work than try to sleep alone in her bed.
This was better, she was better like this. She cleared her throat, smoothing her clothing and pulling the compact mirror from her desk, checking that she hadn’t cracked in her composure at all. She hadn’t, not that anyone else could see, at least.
She took a deep breath, making sure once again her eyes didn’t show the red rims that were actually around them before calling for whoever it was to come in, putting the mirror away.
When the door hesitated to open she furrowed her brows, certain she had heard someone knocking. Someone had to have knocked, she wasn’t- she couldn't be that level of sleep deprived. She was well aware she hadn't slept well recently, perhaps not more than three or four hours a night, but she had to, she had to. She wasn’t there, she couldn’t help you, so she had to help your home. She could never abandon Nevermore, but she could do her best to support your children from there.
The door knob turned slightly, and she swallowed down the nerves that had come with second-guessing herself. She had run Nevermore on no sleep before, she could certainly do it again. She had to be able to.
The door opened slowly, almost nervously, as if the person behind didn’t think they should be there.
For a moment she almost let herself hope.
Her heart raced, it was torture. She wanted to hope, she wanted so badly to hope, but to hope would be to force more pain onto herself.
In her mind, if only for a moment, it was you behind that door. You with your wild hair and warm eyes. You would slip your gloves off as you entered her office, coming to her and sitting on her desk, taking her in your arms and telling her you were here, you were with her. You would tell her that it was alright, that she had done well while you were gone, but you were back now, you were hers.
She swallowed down the tears before they could fall, looking up and knowing that she had no reason to hope.
Mirella stood in the doorway, her face sunken, her eyes red and tired looking as she looked in mild shame to the woman sitting at her desk. Larissa’s lips parted slightly as she breathed in her surprise, her eyes widening slightly at the state of the girl.
Her throat went dry, yet her hands opened immediately, nodding to the girl softly.
Mirella shut the door, going to the older shifter as quickly as she could, nearly running to the woman who had once been nothing but a distant dream of what she could one day become.
Larissa was up and catching Mirella before she realized what had happened, holding the sobbing young woman and hushing her, running her fingers through her hair as she had once seen you do.
“It’s alright, it will be alright, we will find a way.” She whispered, and the younger woman just clutched into her as they sunk to the floor, sobbing into the arms of a woman she had only spent two evenings with. Three, if one counted the night after you had… They had only spent two evenings together, it was better to remember it that way.
She didn’t know where else to go.
“I- I can’t…” The girl hiccuped between breaths, sobbing as silently as she could, desperately attempting to hold herself together as she fell apart so brutally. “I- I can’t even look at them, how am I to teach them?” She asked, and Larissa felt her heart ache for Mirella. Mirella had to teach your students.
She had to help young shifters learn to use their abilities, she may not have her degree yet, but she was an experienced and wildly talented shifter, and more importantly the children knew and trusted her to guide them through abilities that could be traumatic to say the least, as you helped to provide stability to the lessons, and safety.
“They ask about her and i- I don’t know what to say, what can I say?” She yelled, and Larissa only held the young woman tighter, feeling as she poured out what had built the last few weeks into the older woman.
Mirella pulled away, looking up at the woman who had been her hero for much of her life, the woman who had found a way to love you, and allowed you to find a way to accept it. This woman had helped you to trust her enough to know she was telling the truth when she said she loved you, she had to have the answers somehow. No one had answers for this, even Jenkins was at a loss, Larissa would know, she somehow, through sheer will alone maybe, had to know.
“I- I can help, if you would like.” The blonde whispered quietly, almost afraid to offer. Mirella froze. She backpedaled instantly, horrified she had overstepped. How could she be so foolish? She was the one who had caused all of this, how could Mirella ever allow you back to your home? “No I- it would be wrong of me to go there, to assist with the children, at least there, while Ophelia is.. And all of this because…” She didn’t have the words, she didn’t know how to offer what she was desperate to help the younger woman with. She could write lesson plans for her, but for the poor girl to be confronted with questions from your former students…
She could barely stand the questions her own students asked about your sudden disappearance. A family emergency, she had said, locking herself in her room and sobbing until the sun came up.
“You have as much right to be there as any of us.” Mirella said roughly, her voice low, tired, broken almost.
Larissa forgot how to breathe.
“Dear, I-”
“Your aunt founded the place, there’s- there’s so much there for you! But you want to- I mean, she won’t see you, she, I-” Mirella cut herself off, shutting her eyes for a moment. “I- I tried to tell her she was hurting you, tried to get her to come out of the lab, I was angry, I just needed to see her, and, I didn’t mean to upset her more, I swear, I-” She choked, shaking her head as Larissa felt worry root deep in her chest.
“Is she alright?” Was the only question that came. She meant the medic, and the both of them knew it. Ophelia was far from alright, lost to the madness you had kept at bay for so many years.
Mirella swallowed, nodding shakily.
“Yes, yes she just- I heard something shatter, but she stopped, it was silent for a long time before I could hear her moving again.” Mirella said quietly, shame coloring her voice.
Larissa felt her jaw tremble. You were many things, still, silent, that was never one of them. There was so much life, so much wild nature and madness in you. There were moments of stillness, yes, but you never just sat in it, and the both of them knew that.
“When is your next class?” Larissa asked the younger woman, who shook her head. “When do you next teach, dear?” Larissa asked softly, and Mirella looked up at her wide eyed.
“W-would you?” She stuttered, and Larissa nodded, a watery smile making its way onto her face. This was one of your girls, and she would do anything for her.
“If it isn’t during Nevermore hours, of course.” She offered, and Mirella nodded.
“Yes it, I teach during the weekends so I- when I’m home from University.” She said, and Larissa nodded.
“I- I believe I can make that work.” She swallowed, and Mirella just held onto her tighter. “I will make it work.” Larissa whispered, she would, she would find a way.
Notes:
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Chapter 36: Defeated
Summary:
Larissa visits your home.
WARNING: Violence/horror/mentioned body horror/attempted suicide/implied former rape/medical scenes
Notes:
Hello darlings! So this might be the darkest thing I’ve ever written. PLEASE read the chapter warning, and be careful.
I am very sorry it took me so long to get this one out, but it was quite honestly difficult, if very cathartic to write.
I hope it makes you feel something too.
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
Larissa didn't know what to expect.
Mirella was pacing her office, just after the school day ended on Friday, the older woman finishing up her work as they waited for Sugar.
Mirella was partially terrified, she didn’t know what you would do if you saw her, granted you didn’t come out of your fucking lab, so she couldn’t imagine you would.
She hadn’t told Jenkins, although she was aware she very well should have, and quite frankly Moxie might kill her.
You had cleared Larissa, Larissa had been in the manor for fuck’s sake, but going down to the hospital, she didn’t know. This wasn’t how she wanted to show Larissa this place. She wanted to show her hero her home, the things Larissa’s aunt had left her, not what it was right now.
Not what it was when its heart had gone cold.
When Sugar arrived to take them to the manor, the Texan looked at Larissa with mild apprehension, but said nothing.
Larissa pretended not to notice the handgun largely concealed by the waistband of her jeans and the coat she was wearing.
“Oh you’ll, you’ll have to do security.” Mirella sighed, and the three of them were off.
They appeared right outside of the manor again, the picturesque nature of it still taking Larissa’s breath away. It was beautiful, your home was just beautiful.
Yet now knowing that you were there, somewhere, unable to see the beauty made it almost meaningless.
Jenkins had said that this was to be her home too, that even now he would have her, they would have her, yet the weight that slammed into her at seeing this place- she could never be at home here. Not without you.
Standing outside was an extremely muscular woman with short, very pink hair. Moxie, she remembered, this was Jenkins’ second in command, or something like that. She did something with security, that was what Larissa knew. Your operation was incredibly complex, and seeing more of it now only made her feel sick, knowing she had nearly destroyed an integral piece.
The woman stood in an oversized t-shirt and black cargo pants, her loose fitting clothing barely hiding her muscular form. Moxie eyed her wearily, raising a singular black brow before motioning her to come over, walking around the woman.
“Moss is going to be around her and Ophelia trusts her, do you really need to-“ Mirella started before the intense woman shot her a look, hushing her. When she spoke her account was thick, and distinctly Eastern European, perhaps Russian or something similar.
“And my job is to ensure you all are safe, not to care about anyone’s feelings.” She said gruffly, although the pure anger she looked at Larissa with said otherwise.
Larissa almost wanted the woman to yell at her. She gripped the binder of plans and laptop she had brought so hard she thought she heard the binder rings snap.
Moxie raised a singular brow at her.
“It’s not her fault.” Mirella said quietly as Moxie scanned the woman over. The Slavic woman glared at the younger woman, sneering her lip slightly.
“No. Not this one, just the whole rest of that family.” She spat, giving Larissa a final glare before walking back into the house, storming off to check whatever other security procedures needed accounted for today.
Larissa swallowed, her throat tight and dry. She felt sick. She knew it was the fault of her and her aunt. If they hadn’t… if you hadn’t had to give everything for them, both of them, you would still be here. You might even be free.
Jenkins came around a moment later, his face reddened as he jogged down the hall to catch them in the entry way.
“Was Moxie…” he panted upon seeing Larissa’s shaken stance, and Mirella nodded. “Aye, she’s… Moxie is protective, especially over Philly, I’m sorry Tip.” He sighed, shaking his head. Larissa looked up at the way he addressed her, surprised.
“She has every right to… Tip?” She asked, more surprised than anything. The man just shrugged, about to no doubt defend his choice before he froze, going silent for a moment. Mirella seemed to know what was going on, but the young woman seemed just as concerned as he was.
“Is she…” Mirella asked, and the man shook his head, indicating for the young woman to stop speaking.
Then Larissa heard it. There was a slight rumbling sound, as if something was moving under the ground. It was loud, and whatever the fuck it was, it was big.
“Holy feck.” Jenkins breathed, looking behind the women. He took his glasses off, his eyes going wide.
Larissa gasped as she turned around.
The trees, the entire forest around the manor was growing, it was growing, and fast. Trees reached upwards, their branches spreading, casting a growing shadow over every bit of light. saplings became trees, trees became giants, hundreds of years passing in an instant, creating a forest the likes of which Larissa had never seen.
The glen had always been bright, but the reaching shadows of branches began to block out the light, covering the home as they nearly wove together they were so thick.
Blankets of bushes and young trees grew from the ground, covering the area in a thick wood, preventing anyone from even approaching. It was wild, magic almost, yet the sheer magnitude of power that it would have taken to do… this, was terrifying.
“Christ…” she whispered, her breath fully taken away.
No dryad was capable of this, of moving a fucking forest. There was one outcast she knew of that could do this… there was only one you.
“What the fuck did she find?” Mirella whispered, and Jenkins only shook his head.
You must have found something. You must have realized what the bodies in your lab were being subjected to. You were hiding your own children from the world before they could be subjected to it.
You were scared, he realized.
You were alone down there, and scared.
“I- she’s coverin’ the house.” He whispered, in awe. “What the hell could make ‘er want to cover the house?” He whispered, mostly to himself.
“Jenkins.” Mirella called in fear, and the man looked at her softly.
“it’s alright love, she’ll… it’s alright.” Is all he said, swallowing as he looked out at the forest now shielding them. He wished he could be confident in the words he said. “Well then.” He husked. “Let us set you ladies to work, aye?” He tried to smile, before leading them down the hall.
Larissa felt rooted to the spot for a moment.
She was surrounded by you, truly within the depth of your ability. You were protecting them even now.
It was haunting. Jenkins called the woman again and she startled, looking to him in worry.
He knew how it felt to be protected by the medic, when all one wanted was a word from Ophelia.
“It’s… ye ‘ave to let her love ye the way she can.” Is all he said, turning and leading her into the manor.
She was surprised when they led her down, not up, to the basement. It was a grungy place, with a slight smell, and she wrinkled her nose slightly.
The children seemed very clean, and she hadn’t noticed a smell, well, other than the normal chaos of children, when she had met them before, surely they didn’t stay down here.
She stopped, swallowing when Jenkins and Mirella led her to the back of the basement, to a storage area that the scotsman unlocked.
She froze.
Her father used to take her to the basement, he tried to ‘treat’ her there. That was where she was locked up when things didn’t, didn’t work…
“Lass,” Jenkins said softly, and she looked towards him, her eyes wide and her body tense, as if internally she was frantically searching for the threat. “Lass nothin down here’ll hurt you.” He said gently, approaching her. She swallowed, shaking her head and blinking the panic away.
“No, no of course not, I’m aware, how silly of me!” She tried to smile, and Jenkins carefully placed his hands in front of his body, putting them in her view without reaching towards her or tensing them.
“Ye don’ ‘ave to do that either, yer allowed te feel things, especially that, I…” He hesitated for a moment, as if debating if he should tell her something or not. “I’ve seen yer file lass,” he admitted gently, attempting to smile in understanding. “Ophelia hasn’t, and it was made after… when Georgie found what he was doing you were already…” he tried to find the words, watching Larissa’s eyes go wider in horror as time went on. “I know, an’ it’s alright, whatever it makes ye feel, it’s alright.” He said gently, opening the door to a wine cellar and turning on the lights, allowing her to see into the room.
Larissa felt sick.
“There’s a broom closet after this, that’s the last of the basement.” He explained. “Now I ‘Ave to let ye down to the rest, but Mirella is with us, an’ once we get down more there’ll be less men.” He promised, and the woman looked it him, her body not remembering how to breathe.
Her entire life she had been terrified of people finding out what her father had done to her, how weak she had been, how damaged and disgusting she was. Yet this man said it gently, with concern, but without pity, and she didn’t feel fear. The shame was there, yes, but it was less biting, it didn’t turn her cheeks red as her stomach twisted and her head spun as if her perception of the world had been spun.
She didn’t say anything, she didn’t have the words, she only nodded and continued on.
Jenkins was careful not to get too close to her, allowing Mirella to put herself between the two.
The man knew so many who were utterly terrified of his presence just as a man, especially as massive as he was, yet he made sure to make himself seem as small as possible.
The man led her silently through the wine cellar, then to the broom closet, which she raised her brows at.
“My God, he’s actually letting you see security.” Mirella muttered, and Jenkins scoffed.
“She’s seen Philly have a breakdown, I’d argue that is more of a security risk.” Jenkins huffed, reaching for a bottle of bleach, much to Larissa’s surprise. Only when he grasped it a panel in the wall opened, surprising her. Her brows shot up as the man leaned forward, scanning his retina, typing a code into the pin pad, and speaking his name clearly.
“Oh…” she breathed, swallowing at the intensity of it all. She knew, logically she knew the level of protection you all would go to for these children, yet seeing it was still striking. In the middle of a house hidden in the deepest reaches of the woods, in a location seemingly unknown to anyone, there were multiple secret rooms leading to the most intense multi-step identification system she had ever seen. It was like a damn film, for fuck’s sake. It was insanity, and it was so clearly you.
Then the room began to move.
It moved.
“Christ,” the blonde woman startled as the walls seemed to recess, and glass ones came from the floor, taking their place. Jenkins found it in himself to smirk a bit at her surprise.
“I suppose I shoulda warned ya.” He smirked a bit, and the woman glared at him.
“For all your comforting words you do enjoy a good laugh, don’t you?” She retorted, a slightly biting smile on her face, yet with attempted good nature. The man nodded, huffing a bit as he punched in another code, the room, now clearly an elevator, moving down. Larissa swallowed, her nerves returning, yes her utter amazement at the facility nearly overpowering them.
It was underground… of course it was underground, yet the sheer manpower it would have taken to create this floored her. They were moving down, and fast, yet the elevator remained smooth.
“How- how deep does it go?” She whispered, reverence and awe coloring her voice.
“Twenty-two floors, an’ the connected cave system.” He answered calmly, and the woman stood utterly shocked.
“And, we are going to…” she trailed, uncertain if she had the right to ask the question.
“Sixteen.” He answered calmly. “Training an’ teaching floors are jus’ below th’ dorms.” He swallowed, looking at her discerningly before turning back to look at a tablet he was pulling from behind him.
“Where…” she trailed, and Mirella cringed as Jenkins smirked.
“Belt.” He responded, and her eyes went wide as she realized the man kept the thing in his trousers.
“Good lord- why?” She hissed, and he snorted.
“Th’ pockets are wee.” He said matter of factly, and the woman rolled her eyes.
“Of course.” She sighed, and the man smirked further as the elevator slowed down, her nerves returning as the door was about to open.
“Don’t worry.” Mirella smiled next to her, taking the older shifter’s hand, surprising the woman. “They already love you.” She promised, leading the way when the doors opened.
Larissa followed calmly, surprised when it opened to a long hallway, doors on either side and one at the end. Mirella led them to the room at the end, where they could hear chattering behind it.
“Ready?” Jenkins asked, and she nodded, smiling tensely before Mirella opened the door.
They almost looked normal.
The gaggle of children were running after eachother, some whispering quietly, some sitting in chairs, or on the padded floor. Larissa couldn’t help but smile as she saw one girl in the corner looking at a mirror and changing her eyes over and over, trying to get a particular color she wanted.
Then she noticed the cat that went flying out of the room and down the hall, startling her as it ran past her, a streak of white fur dashing about her legs.
“Issa!” Someone yelled, and Larissa looked up quizzically, only… only you or your sister had ever called her that.
A young girl, maybe seven, came running towards her, looking past her and calling again.
“Issa! Come back! I’m sorry, I was just playing, I won’t put a bow on you!” She yelled, running nearly into the shifter in front of her out of excitement. Mirella sighed as the girl grabbed onto Larissa’s coat, leaning sideways to look down the hall past her, using the woman for balance. “Issa!” She cried, and the cat seemed to almost sigh before slowly making it’s way back, begrudgingly.
They had a cat.
You had given the children a cat.
Naturally.
Larissa couldn’t help but smile at everything, instinctively reaching down to help the girl not fall over from her nearly sideways position.
That was when the girl furrowed her brows at Mirella, who was decidedly not the one she was holding onto.
“Wait I thought you were…” she trailed, looking from Mirella slowly up to Larissa, going wide eyed as her jaw nearly dropped. This girl hadn’t met the headmistress yet, and was seemingly dumbstruck by her appearance at the hospital. “You- you’re… woah.” She breathed, and Larissa blushed, shaking her head.
This, she could do. She may not be able to help you, to- to make up for hurting you. But this, she could do.
There was nothing she loved more than caring for children.
“Careful dear, you’ll fall over.” She smiled, and the girl practically jumped back, looking up at her utterly wonderstruck.
“You’re Larissa!” She whispered in awe, and the woman nodded, a slightly amused smile on her face.
“Miss Weems.” Mirella calmly corrected, and the girl nodded.
“Miss Weems.” She whispered again, much to Mirella’s amusement. The younger shifter smirked at her counterpart, Jenkins shaking his head happily.
She really did have a place here.
“Hello there.” Larissa greeted, and the girl squeaked in joy, literally jumping up in excitement.
“Hi!” She squeaked excitedly, before picking up the cat that had wandered back to her and nearly throwing it in the blonde’s face in excitement. “This is Issa! We named her after you!” She rushed, and Larissa felt something get stuck in her throat, the sweet and sickly feeling that always came when the children were amazed to meet her.
She didn’t deserve it. Yet she didn’t nearly have the heart to tell them that.
“I- did you now?” She smiled happily, fighting back the tears that threatened to come every time. Mirella’s hand found her shoulder, attempting to comfort the woman as best she could.
“Miss Weems is here to help me teach today.” Mirella smiled, and the room burst into barely restrained excitement, some of the older students swallowing nervously as they considered showing their hero their abilities.
“Really?” The little girl asked, and Larissa nodded as she recognized the wonder in her eyes. You had looked at her like that so many times, and it nearly stopped her heart to think she’d never see you look at her like that again.
“Yes dear, and your name is…” she trailed, trying not to let on.
“Annie!” The girl smiled, and Larissa chuckled a bit.
“Well hello Annie, I’m very pleased to meet you.” She introduced herself, causing the young girl to squeak in joy.
…
Teaching these girls was incredible. Truly, it was incredible. They listened to her every word, asking questions about shifting, about her process, about how to do certain things that even she didn’t know the answer to, it was almost enough to take her mind away from you.
You were here, somewhere, and she wished more than anything that she could go to you and pull you into her arms, pushing away all the pain she knew marred you. Yet she knew, she knew you were gone. The you she knew of was gone.
If Ophelia would come back, pushing aside the cold intelligence of the medic, she didn’t know. Yet for now, she knew you were gone.
Jenkins entered the room again after a while, sitting in a back corner and working on something, looking up at her occasionally, his eyes warm behind his glasses.
The woman reminded him so much of her aunt. She had the same manner of speaking, the way she moved her hands was so similar.
He had seen Georgianna’s natural state only twice, only two times had she truly lost her composure, and she truly did look so much like her. He smiled up at her, watching her carefully explain something to one of the younger girls, speaking on how she envisioned her nails changing color, formed a clear picture in her mind, felt a slight tingling feeling under her skin and leaned into it.
She explained the process in a beautiful way, and he could see the woman was a natural educator. Her smile was always warm when she looked at the girls, even if she couldn’t make it meet her eyes. It was almost as Georgianna had once wished, even if it never could have been.
Almost.
Then again it could never be for long.
He had sharper hearing than all of them, sharp enough to hear Moss sobbing hysterically before she burst through the door, running to the man and grabbing him.
“Never- never-“ she gasped in horror, not even fully aware of the students looking at her in fear, tears coming to some of the younger ones eyes.
“Moss, MOSS!” He yelled, picking the woman up and trying to help her out of the room.
“Help her.” She shook, almost violently, the woman could barely stand, whatever she had seen... “For the love of god, Jenkins, please help her.” She gasped in horror, and it dawned on him.
“Everyone back to their dorms, now!” He yelled and the children were out without a question. The older ones led the littles to those rooms, knowing better than to question when Jenkins yelled.
The man never yelled, ever. He was aware he was a large man, and many, many of the children at the hospital had been hurt by men much larger and stronger when they were. Because of that he almost never rose his voice, and did everything he could to minimize his physical strength.
With one look to Moss, it went out the window, and every child in that room knew that something was horribly, horribly wrong.
Jenkins left the doctor gasping for air on the floor, rushing to the stairs next to the elevator, nearly bounding down flights to the lab, he needed to get to you, that’s all that mattered right now, he needed to get to you. Larissa was after him in a moment, Mirella’s calls after her falling on deaf ears. She chased the vampire down the stairs, shifting off her heels as she nearly flew down them, trying to keep up with the inhumanly fast vampire.
Jenkins slammed through the door to the level your lab was on, immediately running to the blast door.
“Open up!” He yelled, glaring at the red biohazard light outside of the entrance, the one that made it impossible to open from the outside. There was no response. Larissa burst through the door moments later, Mirella right behind her. “Open! The Fucking! Door!” Jenkins nearly screamed, banging on the blast doors with a strength he would never show the children, he would never yell at them like this, he couldn’t remember the last time he yelled at you like this.
“What’s- what’s going on?” Larissa hissed, and Mirella instantly pulled her back, back and away from the door.
The girl looked terrified. She shook her head, fear in her eyes.
“I don’t know.” She whispered.
Larissa looked back to the door in horror.
“OPHELIA!” Jenkins hollared, banging on the blast door so hard it echoed down the hallway in a terrifying manner. Larissa couldn’t hear the muffled response that came. “I know damn well you’re not working on biohazard, what did you take!” He screamed, and Larissa gasped, her eyes wide in horror.
You took something… She almost forgot how to breathe when he managed to get the intercom into the lab on, silence ringing in her ears. It was silent in there.
“Ophelia!” Jenkins screamed again into the intercom, Mirella sobbing behind him as Larissa stood frozen in horror. Suddenly music screamed from the small speaker, something loud and heavy in a language Larissa didn’t understand, but the message was clear.
Jenkins turned away from the intercom for a moment, tears in his eyes as he looked up, wiping off his face.
He had never, not once, used Georgie against you. Nor Larissa. He wouldn’t dare.
Unless he thought it was the only thing that could stop you.
“I- forgive me for what I have to do to her, but I- we can’t- she needs to-“ the mountain of a man stuttered, fighting back tears. “we need her.” He rasped, and Larissa felt the horror rise in her.
“Jenkins-“ she breathed, but Mirella pulled her back, shaking her head.
“Don’t- don’t speak, she- she can’t- don’t.” The younger woman cried, and Larissa shook her head, her own tears coming. Jenkins cleared his throat.
“Ophelia VICTORIA Florere!” He roared, and Larissa felt her breath freeze in her chest. “She gave you that name! How dare you dishonor it like this!” He yelled, and the music stopped. Everything stopped. The hallway was silent. The slight static of the intercom revealed it was still on, an almost imperceptible crackle was all that broke the silence. And then they heard a code began to be punched on the other side of the door. Slowly, painfully slowly, with no other sound to it.
“Shift,” Mirella rasped, and Larissa looked down at her in shock. “Shift now!” She hissed. “She can’t handle- she can’t handle it, shift.” The younger woman whispered, her throat tight from the tears she was shedding.
The woman didn’t think, she just shifted to the first thing that came to mind, the one she used at a moment's notice, a simple gender change and mild feature adjustment, it was her quickest and simplest shift, one she had perfected as a child and used countless times.
Mirella wasn’t looking at her, her eyes trained on the door as it sounded a tone indicating the unsealing had begun.
She glanced to the older shifter next to her to make sure she had changed.
And then she screamed.
Mirella screamed in utter terror, the kind so deep one would think it had been ingrained into her since birth.
Jenkins whipped around, his eyes going wide in horror, his hand reaching for his gun on pure instinct alone as Larissa, no longer herself, backed away in shock.
Then the door opened.
For a second all Larissa felt was relieved you were alive, she hadn’t seen you, and there you were. You were thin, the bags around your eyes disturbing her, yet you were there.
Then you looked at her.
And she had never seen you look as terrifying as you did in that moment.
Your eyes went wide with a madness that shook her to her core, and then cold. That terrifying, empty cold she had seen before, but never at her. You were halfway to her in a moment, shoving Mirella behind you, your hand shaking as you extended it towards Larissa.
She recognized the look in your eyes then.
Fear.
That was fear. That was the fear of a cornered animal, desperate to protect her young.
“No.” You rasped, “You will not have them.” The growl in your voice struck a tone that had her shaking, frozen still. “You will not have them.” You rasped, and she could see the rage, the pain in you, clearer than it had ever been.
Vines came from seemingly nowhere, wrapping around her wrists as one came to her throat, holding her there, the threat of her life in your very hand.
“You may have had me, but you will never touch my girls.” You growled, your voice low as you brought her to her knees, yanking her down by her throat.
You didn’t need to touch her to do it.
You face twisted in rage, pain, disgust, so many things fleeted across you as you stared at her.
You looked like you wanted to kill her.
“O- Ophi-“ she couldn’t breathe, she felt her blood pounding in her veins, her body collapsing under the strength of the vines you used.
“Ophelia!” You heard behind you, yet you didn’t stop, you couldn’t stop.
“I know who you are now, Alistar.” You said coldly, and Larissa felt her blood drain as you said her father’s name. “I know what you did. To me, to your sister!” You screamed. “To your own DAUGHTER!” You were so loud it sounded painful in your throat. “Tell me, did it feel good? Going back to your home after what you did to me? Using me to torture your own CHILD!” You were madness personified, your namesake becoming a deadly reminder of what you were capable of.
She couldn’t speak, the vine around her throat squeezing to tightly. She could still breathe, but barely. Your eyes were dark, cold, the smile on your face twisted.
“I figured it out.” You spat. Jenkins thought he might throw up. He couldn’t move, he was shocked still. “You want to make another one like me?” Your voice climbed higher, you sounded insane. “You are DESTROYING them for the chance of being able to control them- to- to-“ you lost yourself, screaming, the broken sound coming from you as the vines squeezed down on her more, the woman desperately clawing at them as she choked. “You have- you have used my own BLOOD against them, they are CHILDREN you fucking MONSTER!” You screamed, and Larissa could do nothing but feel the tears run down her face. It was happening so fast, everything was going so fast. “You want a monster, I will show you what a monster is, pig.” You growled.
You looked down at her, grabbing the face she was wearing and forcing her to look up at you. “I will take, everything from you Wimbleton.” You spat her last name with a rage that made her shudder. “I will ruin you. Your reputation, your companies. I will drag you through every court in this country and the next. I will try you for crimes against humanity and strip you of every title you have ever had.” You gritted. “I’ll drain your coffers and make you watch as you rot in a prison you built! You’ll have to watch everything go to your sister’s estate, to your daughter.” You leaned down, the sullenness in your eyes horrifying.
What had her father done to you…
“And when i’m done, when you think there’s nothing left I could possibly do, I will plant a seed, deep inside you.” You hissed. “You will feel yourself lose control of your body, you will feel the horror as it grows, as it spreads inside of you.” Larissa was going to throw up. “You won’t be able to stop it- you’ll never be able to stop it.” You whispered. “I will take everything from you.” You promised. “And then I will break you like you tried to break so many of us.” You swore, and the light began to dim, Larissa’s head was spinning.
You were squeezing harder, you were going to kill her.
She was going to die, and you were going to kill her.
Or not you, no, this wasn’t her Ophelia. The Medic was going to kill her.
She didn’t know humans could hold the kind of pain she saw in your eyes.
“Shift!” She heard someone screaming behind you, Mirella, calling to her as Jenkins screamed your name, trying in vain to pull you back. The man charged you, only to be sent flying back by vines erupting around you, designed to shield him and Mirella, to keep them back.
She took a ragged breath in, trying to show you with her eyes, to beg you. She shifted back, her blue eyes piercing into you far more than her father’s ever had. Even if he had strapped you down and drugged you, she could hold you with just a glance.
You backed away, your eyes going wide, tears in them.
“No.” You gritted. “No!” You screamed. “You don’t get to be her!” You cried. You whirled around, grabbing Jenkins sidearm, the man crying out as he tried to stop you.
You looked down at her like the angel of death.
You held it to her head, pressing it to her forehead, your hand shaking.
“You think I don’t know you can shift? You think I don’t know it was YOU!” You screamed at her.
All of you was shaking, tears were streaming down your face as you gritted your teeth.
“It’s her, Christ Ophelia, please, it’s her!” Jenkins cried, and your eyes were wide and horrified, your head shaking.
“No,” you gasped, and Mirella looked to you, trying to claw out of the vines you had held her back with.
“Please, it’s her I brought her here! Please!” She screamed at you, horror dawning over you.
“No- no I- I’m not going to hurt her again.” You rasped. “I can’t hurt her again.” You cried, and Larissa tried to speak, coughing as her voice scratched from being clamped down.
The vines were loosening, you believed them, part of you believed them.
“You-“ she gasped, and you shook even more violently at the sound of her voice.
No.
“The first time,” she gasped. “The first time I met you there were mourning flowers in your hair, and you wouldn’t hold my eyes, you bloomed petunias and threw them in the fire, so I- I asked you for more.” She panted. “You bloomed- bloomed white flowers with red, red in the center, lilies, opo- opposite of the Osiris roses you made for me when- when-“ she couldn’t do it, the tears were too much, she was crying as she looked at you.
She needed you to know, to know that she loved you.
You could kill her right then, she would understand, but she needed you to know she loved you before she died.
“Please my love,” she panted, and your wide eyes filled with tears.
You took the gun away from her, the woman sighing with relief as the vines began to relax, letting her go.
The vines in the hall withered away, allowing Jenkins and Mirella to rush forward, the young woman going to Larissa immediately, trying to help.
Then Larissa watched in horror as you slowly turned the gun on yourself. Mirella cried as you pressed the barrel to your temple, staring right ahead into the wall.
“It’s happened, Jenkins.” You breathed shakily, and he stepped towards you slowly, utter fear in his eyes and his hands reaching towards you, palms up, his entire body pleading with you to stop.
“Philly, put the gun down.” He urged, and you only smiled, the tears dripping down your face in direct contrast to the joyless smile you had stretched across your beautiful face.
“I’ve lost my mind.” You shook. “Held on for so long, so long.” You whispered, and he shook his head.
“Ophelia I’m here, she’s here, please, don’t do this.” He pleaded, and you shook your head.
“I can’t feel it anymore, so it can’t be real.” You shook. “I don’t want it to be real anymore.” You cried, and he took another step forwards. “I don't want to hurt anyone anymore, Jenkins.” You sobbed. “I don’t want to hurt anyone I love.” You rasped, and he was close, Larissa’s eyes watching in horror.
She couldn’t move, she couldn’t even breathe.
You wouldn’t look at her, at anyone, you stared into the white void of the wall as if that is where you were going.
“Let me have it Philly, please, please just give it to me lass.” He begged. You took a deep breath in, seeming to steady yourself.
“I almost killed her.” You rasped.
“Ophelia-“ he tried, and the tiny whimper that left you was somehow more heartbreaking than all the screams.
“Again, oh god, again.” You gasped shakily. It was Ophelia, Larissa realized. This was Ophelia. “I’m never going to hurt her again- I’m never going to hurt anyone again.” You gritted, determination in your eyes.
You looked relieved.
“Philly,” he whispered, and you smiled tiredly, contentedly, as if you knew it was done. You began to close your eyes.
Jenkin’s elbow connected with your temple faster than any human could move.
The vampire had you laid out flat on the ground, passed out, your weak body so much more sick looking when you went limp.
Larissa crawled across the ground to you, gasping for air between sobs as she pulled you closer, brushing your hair back from your head. She felt numb as she sobbed, holding you, desperately trying to pull you closer.
She lifted your limp body, pulling you into her lap, cradling you close.
Jenkins was with her in a moment, slowly sinking to his knees, the grown man numbly fighting back tears, his face as stoic as ever.
Larissa wouldn’t let him take you.
She would never let anyone take you from her, not even you, not ever again.
She lifted you numbly, holding you to her when Moss came, calmly guiding the woman to a hospital room. Jenkins unloaded his hand gun, removing all of them as he entered it with her, locking them with a code in a safe outside the room.
Moss spoke to Larissa in calm, hushed tones, gently attempting to persuade the woman to let you go to be examined. Her words sounded muffled, far away, ringing in Larissa’s ears and floating away as if they were underwater.
You wanted to die.
“I need you to let go of her Miss Weems, we need to get her hooked up and strapped down before I can look at your throat.” Moss said tiredly, mourning you.
“No,” she rasped, and Jenkins sighed, gently placing his hand on the woman’s shoulder. “You can’t- you can’t strap her down.” Larissa rasped, her voice not working properly, and Moss shook her head sadly, the normally serene woman on the verge of tears once again. It seemed that only when your history was involved could the woman be pushed to tears.
“She has to lass, Philly tries to… we have to do it to keep her safe when she wakes.” He said roughly, and her eyes widened.
“This isn’t- she’s- before-“ she coughed, trying to use her damaged throat. Moss hushed her as she came over, guiding her back and onto another gurney in the room.
Larissa sat numbly, staring at your still body laying on the other bed. Jenkins came to your side, and she watched as the man took a chair, sitting and lowering the guard rails on that side. He took your hand gently, turning it over in his hand and pushing the sleeve of your lab coat up, looking every bit like a grieving father in that moment.
Larissa would know.
She had seen them.
“Alright little lassie, we’ve got you.” He whispered, his voice tight as he checked your arms for track marks. He nearly cried as he realized they were clean. “Look how strong you were, mo chridhe (my heart,) no marks or anything.” He whispered, his voice breaking. “My little one, so strong.” He managed, his voice breaking as he cried for the woman he loved like a daughter, laid out before him.
“Open your mouth for me Miss Weems.” Moss instructed her softly, using a pen light to peer down her throat, nodding when she could close it, carefully inspecting anywhere the vines had wound around her. Mirella watched from the door, tears in her eyes at the state of both of you.
“You’ll be alright, she didn’t grab hard enough to cause permanent damage.” Moss swallowed, clearly thinking of cases where you had not held back. You weren’t trying to kill her, not then at least. If you were, Larissa realized she would be dead already. “Your throat might feel a bit sore for a day or two, try not to speak too much.” She sighed, and Larissa nodded, grimacing as she swallowed.
The doctor turned to the man at your bedside, gently sweeping your hair back and out of your eyes.
“What would you like me to do?” She sighed, and Jenkins shook his head. “We can give her something to keep her under, but in this state…” the doctor trailed, and he nodded.
“I know.” He said, his hand gently brushing your face. “We’ve got you little bird, you and Tippi, I promise.” He whispered, taking your hand to his lips, kissing it gently. Larissa watched, tears streaming, as he found the restraints along the bed, very gently binding you with them, as if he felt guilty for the reason you hated them so much.
“Rest.” Moss instructed her, laying her down. “She’ll wake in an hour or so, you’ll know when she does.” She sighed, Larissa swallowing at what that could mean.
Mirella was sent away, and the woman laid down, watching you. She heard Jenkins begin to hum, something in a language she couldn’t understand, singing a lullaby to you through the tears he tried to keep at bay.
The screaming that woke her up would haunt her until the end of her days.
You were screaming bloody murder, sobbing hysterically as you thrashed against the restraints, Jenkins and Moss both over you, desperately trying to calm you.
“Phil- Philly, it’s alright, it’s just us, you’re alright!” Jenkins yelled, trying to get you to hear through your panic.
Moss was frantically looking at the machine readouts, watching as your blood pressure rose dangerously high. You were already in an incredibly weakened state- your body could only take so much.
Larissa was at your side in a moment, desperately trying to reach you.
“Darling,” she tried, her throat still raspy. “Please my love, you need- you need to breathe.” She rasped, and it was if you couldn’t hear her, your screaming and thrashing like a woman possessed nearly throwing Jenkins off you, even with your arms bound.
“No! No! I don’t want it!” Your words didn’t make sense, nothing made sense. You were panicking, sobbing hysterically, screaming, and she didn’t know what to do. She saw the black begin to rise from your hands, and she grabbed onto you, holding you steady despite the thrashing.
She was stronger than you, shifters were stronger than you.
The woman straddled your hips, holding your arms down as she tried desperately to get you to stop. You slammed your eyes shut, your body shaking when you could no longer move, hyperventilating desperately, trying to prepare yourself for what you thought would come.
“Please- please don’t touch me anymore- please, please,” you begged, your voice so desperate, you were begging whoever you thought it was not to hurt you.
You had been so hurt before.
Yet the only thing you felt was a soft, tender kiss at your hairline, and the shaking presence of a woman above you.
You breathed in, the light scent of her rose lotion and perfume washing over you.
“It’s me, Ophelia, please.” She whispered, and you shook your head, refusing to open your eyes. She wasn’t supposed to be here, you didn’t want her to be here, to see this, any of this. “You’re safe darling, I’ve got you.” She whispered, her fingers tracing your hairline gently, looking for any sign of blooms to tell her what was going on in your mind.
“Please, please no.” You whispered through gritted teeth, and she felt tears prick at her eyes.
“Look at me, please darling, look at me.” She whispered softly, and you opened your eyes slowly, the fear in them like nothing she had ever seen in you before.
You shook your head, tears gathering in your eyes as you bit down on your lip so hard you tasted blood. She felt her throat tighten, tears coming to her as she gently stroked your hair back, her hand the softest touch you had ever felt.
Then she began to hum.
Your lips parted, breath ragged as the tune of Claire de Lune came from above you, shaky, through a strained voice, but one you knew.
Her fingers softly tapped the rhythm at the side of your face, across your temple and into your hairline. You knew that, you knew her. It was the same song you had listened to countless nights spent late healing at the hospital, studying at university, writing research papers, pioneering research, coming back here, late nights in the lab, odd hour emergency exams, desperate attempts at finding cures.
It was the same song.
It was the same woman.
It was always the same woman.
You nodded a bit, your voice falling to quiet whimpers as she played across your skin, white and black flowers slowly blooming at the top of your hair. Jenkins fumbled for something, pulling his tablet from his pocket and pressing it into Larissa’s free hand, her eyes widening and nodding as she clicked play on the old recording.
“I- it’s not ready yet!” She heard her younger voice say, and she watched as your brows furrowed then arched, recognition.
“You never think it’s ready, it doesn’t have to be perfect, just play!” Morticia’s voice came, and Larissa held you gently as your jaw clenched.
“But what if I-“ her younger voice came, only to be cut off.
“Move your ass off your hands and play!” Morticia’s young voice yelled, and Larissa watched as your lips ever so slightly went to move with her words.
Her notes came slowly at first, like they had the last time she had heard this recording, only this time she watched as they soothed you, as her young hands caressed you through the music you loved, her hands now ever so carefully brushing away the tears that came.
When your eyes finally opened it was Ophelia staring at her, her Ophelia, not the medic, not anyone else.
“Ophelia,” she breathed, and you stared up at her, grey eyes wide and terrified, filled with tears.
“Please,” you whispered up at her, shaking your head as you tried not to cry.
“You’re alright my love, you’re alright.” She whispered, and you shook your head.
“I can’t- I- I can’t.” You whispered, and she cupped your face, nodding sadly.
“You don’t have to do anything darling.” She whispered, and your eyes were so wide you nearly looked like a child.
“It has to be her. You can’t just look like her, it has to be her.” You cried quietly, shaking your head. “I can’t- I’ve hurt her, I almost- I almost killed her- I-“ you sobbed. Her eyes went wide as she realized what was going through your head. She turned to the side.
“Dr. Moss, you can- you can see a shifter’s natural state, yes?” She asked, and the woman nodded, wide eyed, realizing. “She- she looks more tired than that, she’s reduced the circles under her eyes, and did her hair, but that- that’s her Ophelia.” She whispered, and Larissa could feel the strain in your body as you tried to keep it together.
You shook your head, eyes wide, unbelieving. Like you didn’t want to beleive it.
Larissa reached down, carefully, slowly, removing the restraints on your arm. You didn’t move, only watched as she slowly lifted your arm, her hydrangea blue eyes focused on yours, keeping you there.
Keeping you her Ophelia.
She lifted your hand slowly, feeling it tremble in her grasp, carefully bringing it to her lips, feeling your silent gasp as she kissed your palm, the scar your sister had given you as a child, as she did before.
Exactly as she did before.
She kept your eyes as she turned your wrist, kissing the white scars along it, the rose vines around your arms.
You closed your eyes and she felt it as your body gave in, a single sobs releasing tension strong enough to rip flesh from bone.
“There you are,” she whispered, her voice catching. “There you are.” She said again, a slight smile attempting to break through the tears.
You nodded, your eyes closed, still trembling slightly.
“Please don’t go again,” she begged in a whisper, your eyes snapping open as her own widened in horror at what she had said. “I- I am so sorry, I-“ she stuttered, her voice breathless and panicked.
You sat up with a strength you didn’t know you had, forcing the woman to straddle your lap to keep balance. She gasped as you curled into her, hiding your face in her chest as your arms wound around her, pulling her tight to you, desperately close.
“I’m so sorry,” you sobbed. “I’m so sorry.”
You cried.
She had seen you cry, many times. She had seen you cry for many different emotions and fears. Yet she had never seen or felt you cry as openly as you did now.
You were done.
You were done fighting, done worrying, you were done.
“I love you.” You whispered into her. “I- oh god Larissa, I love you.” You strained, tears once again wracking your body. Her arms were around you in a moment, pulling you into her chest as one arm supported your back while the other wrapped around your shoulders, pressing you into her through your hair as she dropped her head, burying her nose in your hair.
“I know, I know.” She rasped, holding you to her as if you would fall apart if she let up just slightly. She held you bruisingly, and it healed cracks you didn’t know were still nestled so deep inside you.
You sobbed in her arms until you fell asleep, Jenkins at your side, Moss making sure your panels came clear once you were no longer conscious, still in the arms of the woman you loved.
“Do ye want to take her upstairs?” Jenkins asked the shifter, his own voice ragged.
“I- is that not your decision?” She swallowed, and he stared at you for a moment, sleeping soundly in the woman’s arms, everything you were given to the world.
“Oh I think she chose who she wanted to make decisions when she can’t.” He said sadly, yet a hint of a smile found his face. “She’s always been terrified of love, you know.” He said, and Larissa swallowed.
“I’m aware it’s hard for her to say, yes.” She swallowed, and Jenkins shook his head.
“No no, everything. Not jes’ saying it. Aye, th’ only one she shows love regularly is her niece, an’ even then she keeps Wednesday very separate from this life.” He sighed. “She's terrified of losing more, I don’t know if she could take it.” He swallowed, and Larissa pulled you closer, wanting to somehow shield you from all the pain she knew you carried.
“I can carry her up to her room and… and stay with her.” She said carefully, and Jenkins nodded, closing his eyes for a moment and exhaling in… relief.
Larissa watched as the man tilted his head up, pulling off his glasses as he wiped away hard earned tears, the exhaustion of a father caring for his dying child on his face. Larissa felt sorry for the man, for all of you.
She felt like she was watching her own family fall apart.
He helped her release the restraints on your legs, helped guide her up to your room and make sure she had everything she could need for the night. He showed her the adjoining washroom, warned her that although your tox screen had come back clean there was always the possibility that you had invented something new, that it wouldn’t be the first time, and if that was the case you could very well aspirate on your own vomit in your sleep, killing you.
He told her he would come back with a few things, leaving after a moment. Larissa pulled a chair next to your bed, where she had laid you carefully. Her hands carefully, achingly carefully removing your creased lab coat, your shoes.
She removed the clothing from your unconscious body, her breath hitching and trembling when she saw your bones through your skin.
You didn’t look deathly, not like you had as a child, yet it was clear you hadn’t been eating.
She wrapped you in warm flannels she found in your closet, sitting by your side as she carefully brushed your hair back and away from your face.
She called out when a knock sounded at the door, allowing Jenkins back in. The man swallowed at your downed body, laying limply on the bed, your chest rising and falling slowly. The man inhaled heavily as he handed Larissa a set of night clothes, glancing down at them before looking back up at her face.
“These were yer aunt’s.” He said, and her eyes widened. “She ah, she left a lot of things here to you.” He sighed, taking another chair in the room and sitting in it, barely preventing himself from pulling a cigar to light. “It’s in trust, Philly and I are the executors, but everything that was left of her estate, and part of the Hospital, actually, provided Philly and I both sign off on it.” He swallowed.
“It’s- but I-“ Larissa stammered, and the man nodded.
“Aye, well, a bit to Philly too, but you have the majority of the estate that’s not already invested in the hospital.” He sighed, his eyes saddening as he looked at you. “She left her a few personal effects, a bit of money, and a little cottage so far out a th’ way I’m fairly certain th’ only way to get there is teleportation.” He smiled a bit, yet it was quickly taken by something. “A safe house.” He said lowly. “Only she an’ I know where it is. It’s the last thing Georgie- Victoria could give her.” The man sighed, leaning forward and bracing his elbows on his knees, his head in his hands.
The man looked exhausted.
“The option to leave it all.” He swallowed. “Yet she never took it.” His voice caught, the stoic man forcing down the feelings that came. You had been so little when he met you, young and afraid. You had grown so much, become one of the most intelligent, strongest, even most powerful people in the world. Yet here you were, still a terrified little girl.
“You know.” Larissa rasped, and Jenkins looked up. Her eyes told him everything she wanted to know.
The man inhaled sharply before forcing himself to release his breath out.
“Alistair Wimbleton ‘as been hunting her since she first escaped, he was one of the men overseeing her case at Newflight.” He swallowed.
“My father…” Larissa strained, tears coming to choke her already damaged throat.
The man stood, walking over to her, resting his hand on her shoulder.
“Miss Weems.” He said, and Larissa blinked up at him owlishly. “If there is anyone who understands tha’ yer blood is not yer family, it’s her.” He nodded to you, and Larissa could feel the tears streaming down her cheeks.
“The man who.. tortured her, later, with- with that teleporter did he-“ she stuttered, unable to get the words out.
“That is not something ye can unknow, lass.” He sighed, and Larissa steeled herself, staring down the man. “It should be up to her to tell you-“
“Jenkins.” She gritted, and the man inhaled sharply, shaking his head.
“Yes. As far as we know, yes, it was him.” He sighed, and Larissa felt sick. “The… the DNA he… left… that’s how Georgie found out her brother could shift.” He swallowed.
Larissa ran to your washroom, spilling her guts into the toilet, tears streaming down her face. Her father had… she had known the man was a monster. He had experimented on her for Christ’s sake, had tortured you in an attempt to “cure” her. Yet finding out what he had done to try to give him another chance at controlling someone like you- he had- had-
“The fuck do ye think yer doin!” She heard it whispered harshly in the room adjoining, before the washroom door opened slowly, a terrified Jenkins standing just behind you, leaning on the doorframe. Her eyes widened as you stared at her, your eyes exhausted, deadened, but undoubtedly Ophelia. Not the medic, Ophelia.
“Please,” you rasped, and she whirled around to face you, ready to drop to her knees and beg for your forgiveness, to tell you how sorry she was, how her entire life you had been tortured for her, how you had been destroyed trying to rescue her, how her own father had tried to breed you like cattle to-
“Please- None of it, none, is your fault,” you panted, struggling just to stay standing. She shook her head, tears streaming down her cheeks. She didn’t have the words. What would one even say? There were no words. “Please don’t go,” you rasped, a tear tracing down your hollowed cheek as you tried to keep your eyes on her, Jenkins prepared to catch you should you pass out at any moment. “Please, I-“ you swallowed, tears choking you.
You were always so sad.
You had kept this from her knowing it would break her.
You had been so terrified to love her.
So terrified you could never be truly honest with her.
Terrified you would hold this secret from her forever.
“Please Larissa, I don’t- I don’t see him when I look at you,” you begged. “I- I look at you and it’s the only time I- I can’t feel him.” You whispered, your sobs cutting you off. You were shaking, shaking against the doorframe, barely able to hold yourself up. “Please, please don’t go, I- I-“ you didn’t know how to say it, what to even say. “I love you.” You breathed.
Exhausted.
Defeated.
You admitted the words as if it took everything out of you, as if you had finally been brought down, yet it wasn’t by any who had tried to harm you. No one who had fought you, attacked your facility, captured you or your children succeeded. You had been tortured, experimented on, had been through horrors she could not imagine.
Yet you were defeated, finally.
It was not torture, nor a mission, nor any harmful action that had brought you down.
It had been Larissa, and the soft caress she touched your scarred body with. You crumbled before her love, incapable of fighting it. You collapsed, Jenkins easing you down to the floor, ready to pick you up and pull you back to the bed, ready to know there was nothing more he could do.
You felt soft hands around your cheeks, your heavy eyelids opening as her perfume entered your mind, her hands guiding you to look up at her.
“I’m not going anywhere,” she whispered, and you utterly melted into her hands, feeling safe in the love you held for the first time in ages.
Notes:
Well…
Thoughts?
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