Chapter Text
A normal night for Frank Castle consisted of going out to a dreary dive bar in Hell's Kitchen, trying to stay out of trouble for as long as he could. Being Frank Castle, though, trouble seemed to follow him around. Usually bar fights, not started by him. He just got dragged into it, or random drunk assholes decided to pick a fight with him. He was used to it, as annoying as it could be. Tonight felt no different, with some kid staring at him at the bar. He knew what was coming, so he decided to engage first.
"Kid, do you need something? You've been staring at me for a while," he sighed, leaning against the bar. To Frank's surprise, the kid looked frightened as he blinked a few times.
"Shit- my bad, man..." The kid mumbled. His face turned red as he looked back down at his drink.
Frank observed the kid for a moment. His leg was bouncing on the barstool, and he was barely sipping his drink. He heard the kid sniffle and watched him wipe his face, keeping his face down. Frank let his curiosity get the better of him as he sighed again, leaning a little closer.
"What's wrong, kid? You're clearly a little fucked up right now, by the looks of it." Frank raised a brow, trying to keep his voice low so he didn't appear too threatening.
The younger man looked back up at Frank, his eyes puffy with dark circles under them, as well. He let out a sigh, pushing himself off the counter a little. "Well, for one, I lost my fucking job..." he crossed his arms, blinking a couple times. "So I've got to try finding a new one in this fucking city, which is practically impossible. And if I don't have a job, I can't pay rent, and then I lose my apartment. So yeah, things are a little shitty right now."
"... Well, shit, kid." Frank was a little shocked from the kid's venting, his brows raised a little. "You got family you could stay with?"
The kid scoffed at that, a weak smile on his face. "Drug addict parents died years ago, and the rest of my family took opportunities to get the fuck out of this place. So, no." He curled in on himself a little after that, seeming to realize what he was doing.
Frank didn't know what to say to try and help this kid. He was clearly in a horrible spot right now, but there was something else bothering him. It was itching Frank, but he didn't want to directly ask. "Listen kid, no matter how much life kicks your ass, you gotta keep getting back up and fighting back. Doesn't matter how hopeless it seems, or unfair. You gotta keep going, you hear me?"
The kid closed his eyes, his jaw clenching. Frank prepared for the kid to yell at him, snap, or something. The fight always happened.
"I-it's just... it's not fucking fair. I couldn't fucking care less about my- my parents dying, they deserved it. But not- not him... why him?" The young man wiped his face, tears starting to roll down his cheeks.
Frank was growing concerned now. He pulled a couple bills out of his wallet, putting them down on the bar. He motioned between him and the kid to the bartender, silently paying for the kids. "Hey, hey, kid- what's your name?"
"My name..? Oh, sorry. Ethan."
"Let's go outside, get you some air, yeah? We can talk more out there. I'm- I'm Frank." He gently put a hand on Ethan's shoulder, lightly pushing him to get them outside. Ethan obliged and pushed himself off the barstool, following Frank outside. They went to the alley next to the bar, Ethan leaning against the wall.
"Alright, Ethan. What'd you mean back in there, who- who did you lose?" Frank asked gently, standing next to the kid. He realized just how young this kid was now, with how small he was. Frank had a good eight inches or so of height over the young guy, and at least 100 pounds.
"My- my best friend..." Ethan mumbled, wiping his face again. "He didn't deserve it, he didn't- he didn't fucking do anything!" He snapped slightly, sniffling. After a beat of silence, he spoke again, quieter. "I... 'm sorry, you probably don't need to hear my shit." He pushed himself off the wall, trying to walk past Frank out of the alley.
Frank put a hand on the kid's shoulder, stopping him. "Hey, hey. It's okay. You need to talk about this, yeah?" Ethan gave him a soft nod, clearly not wanting to fight Frank to get by. "So, I get that the loss is recent?"
Ethan nodded again, letting out a shaky breath. "Last week, my best friend, Mark, was in the wrong place at the wrong time. He was working at the warehouse again- even though I told him that place was shady- and some- some fucking drug dealers were in there, in the middle of a deal. He walked in and they- they just fucking shot him." His eyes were wide, head slowly looking down. "I was trying to reach him later, when he didn't text me or call or anything. He didn't answer me either, so I- I went to the warehouse, and-" He cut himself off, closing his eyes and stumbling back against the wall. He covered his face, letting out a choked sob.
Frank put the story together, his face dropping slightly. "You found him, didn't you...?" He felt terrible for this poor kid; having to deal with this big of a loss? And finding the body himself? Frank knew the pain of being on a battlefield losing friends, he knew how others looked when they lost people. Seeing the same reactions from Ethan, a kid who just lives in the city, pained him.
The younger man removed his hands and nodded a little, wiping his face again. "Yeah... 's why I got fired. Can't sleep 'cause all I can see is... is him. So I'm late for work since I can't fucking sleep." He sighed, looking down. "I can't escape seeing him, just looking so... so lifeless. He didn't deserve that..."
"Nobody does, kid." Frank felt like shit now; this poor kid, who couldn't be a day over 22, lost his best friend, and found the body. And has to deal with this alone. What a shitty life. "I wish I could tell you it gets better."
"I miss him so much..." Frank barely heard Ethan's voice, barely above a whisper. It almost broke Frank, hearing how pained the younger man sounded. He let out a soft sigh, trying to think of what to say to him.
"I don't... I don't think you could ever move on, yeah? You just gotta move forward, accept the loss, the suffering, the grief," Frank started, trying to use his own knowledge to help Ethan. "You let it hurt you, and let the pain just... wash over you. But then you have to pick up the pieces of your life. Rebuild it, piece by piece, slowly." He paused, seeing the way Ethan was looking at him. "I hope that helps you, kid."
Ethan was silent, staring at him. Frank felt like the kid was studying him. "You're speaking from experience, aren't you?" His voice was soft, still very quiet. Frank could tell the kid was feeling like shit now.
But the fact that Ethan knew Frank was speaking about his own pain made the older man see him in a new light; this kid was smart, he didn't deserve to be stuck in Hell's Kitchen like this. The kid cared, he was good.
Frank sighed again, nodding a little. "Yeah. Yeah, I am. That's why I'm telling you, kid, you gotta push on. You can't let that shit weigh you down. If you do, it'll take you over, make your life shit. Don't let the pain win."
He watched Ethan for a moment, the kid seeming to contemplate what Frank was saying. Ethan shook his head a little, then spoke finally. "I'm sorry..."
"Hey, hey, why are you sorry?" Frank asked, worried for him. He felt like he was looking in a mirror at a younger version of him; a young kid going through so much pain for no good reason. "You don't need to be sorry, kid, you did nothing wrong."
"N-no, you didn't... you didn't need to hear all of this. I'm sorry. I probably reminded you of some shit I shouldn't have, and now I feel like an asshole-" Ethan started rambling, tearing up a little. Frank could see exhaustion was getting to Ethan now.
"Hey, kid, I understand your pain. I've been there. You're- you're trying to blame yourself for everything, yeah? Not being there when you had no way of knowing. You're trying to take responsibility for everything. But it's not your fault, none of it is." He reached over, putting a hand on Ethan's shoulder to try and stabilize him. "You need to forgive yourself before you can try to move forward. I can see you're a good guy, Ethan, you have a good heart. Don't let that go."
Ethan stared at Frank for a solid moment, the words sinking in. He suddenly surged forward and wrapped his arms around Frank. "Thank you, Frank..."
The sudden hug surprised Frank, but he put his arms around the kid since he knew Ethan needed it. "It's nothing, kid. I promise." He gently pat Ethan's back a little, to comfort him. He felt bad for the kid, he needed any sort of comfort right now.
After staying there for a little bit, Ethan pulled away, wiping his face. "S-sorry, I think I got your jacket a little wet," he chuckled weakly, smiling a bit.
Frank laughed lightly, also smiling. "It's nothing, kid, don't worry about it."
Ethan nodding a little, blinking a few times. He seemed to sway on his feet a bit, yawning. "Hey, 's it... getting really dark, or 's that just me...?" His speech was slurred as he spoke, eyes fluttering shut. He fell forward, Frank panicking and catching the kid.
"Holy shit-" Frank muttered, holding Ethan up. He gently shook the other, seeing if he would wake up. No reaction. Frank sighed, shifting a bit and picking Ethan up easily. He brought them out of the alley, going to his truck. He struggled slightly, but managed to open the door and put Ethan in the passenger's seat. As weird as he felt bringing this kid to his apartment, he knew it was better than leaving Ethan in a random alley next to a dive bar. Who knows what kind of freaks were around here?
Frank quietly drove back to his apartment, driving carefully to make sure he didn't wake Ethan up. Before he brought Ethan upstairs to his apartment, he went upstairs to make sure his dog was calm. When he entered the apartment, as expected, his dog started barking.
"Hey, Bella, shhh," Frank chuckled, kneeling down in front of his Pitbull. He smiled as she jumped on his knee excitedly, trying to lick his face. He laughed lightly, petting her a little to calm her down. "Hey, Bella, I'm bringing someone up here. Can you be a good girl and lay down for me? And be quiet?" Bella did a little spin as she pushed herself away from Frank, trotting over to her bed. She laid down and looked up expectantly at Frank. The man smiled a little, standing up. "Good girl, now stay."
He turned and went back out his door, going down to the truck again. He opened the passenger door to see Ethan still fast asleep, taking in slow, deep breaths as he slept. Frank pulled the kid out of the truck, kicking the door shut and making his way back upstairs. He struggled slightly to open the front door, but he did so successfully. As soon as he got inside, he stared at Bella, the dog still laying down. She watched Frank with a curious spark in her eyes, tail wagging, but stayed where she was.
"Good girl, stay there," Frank praised as he closed the door with his foot. He walked further into the apartment, gently laying Ethan down onto the couch in the living room. He stood back up straight with a relieved groan. He looked back at Bella. "Leave him be, girl. He needs sleep." He looked at the time with a sigh; it was almost midnight, somehow. Frank huffed and made his way into his bedroom. "C'mon, girl." At that, Bella hopped up and followed Frank into the bedroom.
He got himself in bed quickly, tired from his night. He hoped to wake up before Ethan in the morning, thinking he could make the kid some breakfast, talk again. Frank gave Bella a quick pat on the head before getting in bed, laying down to sleep. He fell asleep pretty quickly, Bella on the floor beside his bed.
"Mark!"
Frank awoke to a shout from his living room. He shot up out of bed, almost tripping over Bella, as he ran into the living room. He saw Ethan sitting upright on the couch, breathing heavily and looking around. He was shaking slightly, and Frank could see tears in the kid's eyes. He went over and kneeled next to the couch.
"Hey, hey, Ethan, it's okay. You're safe here," He said in a gentle voice. As if to help, Bella came trotting over cautiously, sniffing curiously.
Ethan's breathing slowed a little as he saw Frank, and then Bella. He blinked a little, tears rolling down his cheeks involuntarily. He quickly wrapped his arms around Frank, in an awkward hug. Frank returned the hug, hand gently rubbing Ethan's back.
"You're okay, kid, it's all okay..." Frank soothed, letting Ethan calm down.
"I-I saw him again, Frank. I can't- I can't sleep, he's always there. He's- fuck- he's always there!" Ethan sobbed against Frank's shoulder. He pulled away a little, looking up at Frank with teary eyes.
"It's... it's alright, kid. Take deep breaths, close your eyes. Calm yourself down," Frank instructed him, keeping a hand on the younger man's back. "You got a happy place, kid?"
Ethan shook his head, sniffling and choking back a sob. He pulled away and covered his face. "He was my- my happy place, Frank... Mark was always there for me."
Frank could see how much the kid was hurting, missing his best friend like hell. It hurt him, reminding him of how he acted for a bit when he lost Maria and his kids. "Hey, just try to breathe then, okay? Focus on your breathing, slow it down."
Ethan nodded a little, pulling his legs to his chest. He took in deep breaths, his breath hitching a couple times as he was trying. Frank kept a comforting hand on the kid's back, waiting patiently for him to calm down. After a few minutes, Ethan blinked a few times and looked over at Frank. "How long did I sleep?"
Frank sighed and glanced around, looking at the clock in his room from a distance. It was a little past two in the morning now. "Like two and a half hours or so." He looked back over at Ethan. "You look exhausted, kid."
"I feel exhausted," Ethan mumbled, rubbing his eyes. "I told you, I can't... I can't sleep, I don't even know how I was asleep now." He paused, looking around. "By the way, how...?" He trailed off, gesturing to the apartment.
"I brought you here after you passed out on me, kid," Frank chuckled lightly. "I wasn't about to leave you in a dirty alley next to a damn dive bar. So, I figured my apartment was safe enough for you, 'specially when I've got Bella here." He moved slightly, Bella finally able to sniff Ethan. She was cautious, but still clearly excited.
Bella brought a small smile to Ethan's face, bringing a hand down to let her sniff. He gently pet her, listening to Frank. "That makes sense, thanks..." He trailed off, letting out a soft sigh. "Y'know, this... this sucks. I just want him back, I know it's stupid and I can't, but... I just want him," he vented, keeping his attention on Bella as he pet her.
"I know the feeling, kid. I know it," Frank said with a soft sigh, pushing himself off the floor to take a seat next to Ethan. He gave a pained smile, trying to show the younger man how much he knew it. That he knew loss, like an old friend that came back too often.
Ethan looked up at Frank, studying him. After a moment, he seemed to get it. His jaw clenched a little as he looked away. "Thank you for doing this... you didn't have to listen to me, or even talk to me so... thanks."
"No need to thank me, kid." He reached over and gently pat Ethan's shoulder. "You get some rest now, okay? Hell, I'll leave Bella with you, if that'll help. She's a retired service dog, still got her training, though." As if to prove the point, Bella nosed Ethan's hand to get his attention. He smiled and looked down at her, gently petting her. Frank stood up off the couch, pointing at the ground next to the couch to tell Bella to stay there.
"I'll try then, Frank." Ethan laid back down, stretching his legs back out. He pulled the blanket Frank had laid on him earlier back on, letting out a soft sigh. He reached out and gently started petting Bella to calm himself, the Pittie laying next to the couch.
Frank smiled softly as he walked out of the room, back to his own. "G'night, kid." He heard a tired 'good night' in return as he closed his door again. He got back in his bed, letting out a quiet sigh. He didn't know why he wanted to help Ethan so much. Maybe it was the fact that he saw a bit of himself in the kid, and it hurt him. It hit too close to home, and he wanted to prevent Ethan from becoming someone like Frank. Like the Punisher- Ethan didn't deserve to be caught up in shit like that. Wrapped in his thoughts as a blanket, Frank fell back asleep into the darkness of his mind.