Work Text:
Sweet sunshine shone brilliantly on the palace gardens, grass sparkling with morning dew. The air buzzes with life, is vibrant with the first blossoms of spring.
San shifts in Yunho’s lap, “Are you sure your legs aren’t falling asleep? We’ve been at it for a while.”
An easy grin overtakes Yunho’s face, “I’m good Sannie, don’t worry.” He presses a kiss to San’s temple before stage whispering, “Now be still or Hyung will stab us, or worse, make us sit through another lecture about his artistic process.”
“I can hear you.”
San and Yunho giggle as Hongjoong throws a handful of grass at them, trying to suppress his fond expression.
After a moment, they settle back into the easy quiet they’ve been enjoying for most of the morning. Occasionally, San sips from their shared glass of peach wine and offers some to Yunho. Or Hongjoong puts down his drawing pencil to reach for a cracker and Yunho stretches forward to push the picnic basket towards him. Sometimes, when Joong leans forward, San darts in to catch his lips for a moment before settling back into Yunho’s waiting arms. Mostly though, Yunho just leans against the tree, lap full of a soft and tipsy San, eyes tracking Honjoong’s pencil on the page, heart warm.
His mind, traitor that it is, drifts to Mingi. He imagines the prince sprawled on his back, head in San’s lap, hogging the cheese and crackers. He imagines running his hand across San’s thigh, onto Mingi’s chest, slipping beneath the prince’s collar to run his fingertips through the smattering of hair that grows there. He imagines Hongjoong taking breaks from his sketching to curl a hand around Mingi’s ankle, to lean over and kiss his knee.
“What are you thinking about, puppy.” Hongjoong’s voice cuts through the daydream, and Yunho notices that he’s stopped drawing and his brow is creased with worry.
San wiggles around to face him, his hand coming up to hold the side of Yunho’s neck, “Are you alright?”
Yunho blinks back tears, “Sorry, I’m just thinking about us.” He shakes his head slightly, “About how easy this is. With you guys.”
Hongjoong tuts, casting aside his sketchbook and crawling across the blanket to sit in front of the two men, reaching over San to cup the other side of Yunho’s face. Yunho closes his eyes, grounding himself under their careful touch.
“You deserve easy love.” San presses a gentle kiss to the older man’s throat. “Love doesn’t have to feel like sacrifice all the time. Hongjoong taught me that.” Love.
Yunho opens his eyes to find Hongjoong watching San, a proud smile gracing his face. The hand not rubbing Yunho’s cheek squeezes San’s thigh. Yunho looks down at San too, finding his glossy eyes staring back.
For the past several months, Yunho has been trying very hard not to examine his feelings for the couple too closely. Even when they confessed their desire to court him, Yunho was very clear about the love he harbored for someone else. But here in the palace garden, breeze carrying the first blossoms of spring through Hongjoong’s hair, bees buzzing softly amongst the flowers, sun shining so perfectly on San’s honey skin, Yunho realizes that he loves them. He thinks of Mingi, sitting alone at the bottom of a bottle, and his chest aches. Doesn’t Mingi deserve easy love too?
He says as much, omitting the prince’s name, of course. “It feels like I’m leaving him behind. You don’t-” Yunho’s breath catches, “I wish I could tell you more about him. I wish he could be here with us.”
San begins speaking but Yunho cuts him off, “It’s not fair that I get to be here. And it’s not fair to ask you to love me when I am so in love with someone else. When there’s so much that I have to keep from you.”
Hongjoong thumbs at Yunho’s tears. “Yunho, we know you care about us. And even if we didn’t, we don’t love you because you love us.”
“We love you like the sun rising. There’s nothing you had to do to deserve us and there’s nothing you can do that would stop us.” San tucks his head into Yunho’s chest, listening to his fast-beating heart.
“As for the other man, we obviously know it’s possible to have feelings for more than one person, silly.” Smiling, Hongjoong pinches Yunho’s cheek. “And when you’re able and willing to tell us more, we know you will.”
Yunho’s next breath is like breaking the surface of the ocean after being caught in a riptide. Like he didn’t realize how hard he was struggling against the current until he relaxed and let it pull him out.
“That’s it, just breathe. Everything will work out the way it’s supposed to.” San’s sure voice soothes Yunho further.
“Thank you for,” Yunho pauses, “for everything you’ve given me.”
Hongjoong sits up on his knees to wipe Yunho’s cheeks gently with a napkin before pressing a soft kiss to his lips. Then he scoots back to the other side of the blanket and picks up his sketchbook to resume his drawing.
Several moments pass, Hongjoong becoming lost in his drawing, San dozing to the rhythm of Yunho’s heartbeat, and Yunho just breathing. As branches above the trio creak and sway, Yunho thinks about what Hongjoong and San said. He thinks about how they avoided saying he loves them. His whole life, Yunho has been taught to be a warrior, to fight for and earn the things he wants. It always made sense that loving Mingi hurt because anything worth having was supposed to be hard.
Yunho felt guilty because loving them felt so much better than loving Mingi. It was so easy to love them. It didn’t feel like a battle; there was no adversary. This thing he had with San and Hongjoong flew in the face of all he’d known before. It’s so different that it’s taken Yunho until this morning to realize that this is love. And maybe, one day, he could work things out with Mingi. Until then, San was right, nothing can stop the sun rising, so it’s best to just bask.
“I love you guys too, so much. It feels like coming home sore and tired after training all day. It feels like open arms and a kiss on the forehead and being told that a bath has already been drawn.”