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We Interrupt This Broadcast

Summary:

The war between Gotoro Empire and the Ferngill Republic is brought to Pelican Town's doorstep. Will the life built between Dr. Harvey Whittaker and Ms. Beatrice Farmer survive?

TRIGGER WARNING FOR: War, Bombing, Death, PTSD, Panic Attacks, Medical Treatments, Animal Death, TBI.
This Author is not a medical professional.
These warnings apply for the entirety of the work.

Thank you to RobyneWren and Bip for the support, encouragement, and information as I stumble my way through this.

Chapter 1: Prelude: Interval of Peace

Notes:

By Katherine Garrison Chapin
From 'Poetry: A Magazine of Virtue'
January 1942.
pg. 204.

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

I shall remember the long afternoon

In early autumn, river and sky serene, 

The smoke-blue ripples following, the leaning grass,

The lithe boat and insistent stress

Of water where the tide moved in

And you and you, pliant, at ease

In open friendship, this brief interval of peace

between two wars. 

 

Surgeon,

Sculptor and Lawyer, hard

Thinker and worker with the knife and word,

Resting creative hand, dissecting mind...

Nothing mattered, boat and talk drifted, evening came on. 

Here was no urgency, nothing to hide. 

Love flowed among us quietly, as the strong tide. 

 

O carve these moments into the deep unbreakable 

Recess of your memory. Hold them unshakeable

Against the too near winds of unkind time, 

The currents of chaos, the impending sense 

Of destruction that is about us. Imprison them in rhyme.

And treasure to the end 

This partaking love that binds us,

And is most precious, 

Of all we shall be called to defend. 

Notes:

https://www.poetryfoundation.org/poetrymagazine/browse?contentId=23115

Chapter 2: Prelude: Interval of Peace

Summary:

TRIGGER WARNING FOR: War, Bombing, Death, PTSD, Panic Attacks, Medical Stuff, Animal Death.
This Author is not and does not claim to be a medical professional.
These warnings apply for the entirety of the work.

Chapter Text

The afternoon was quiet aside from the shuffle of paperwork and the occasional ding of the front door as people stopped in for the pharmacy. 

“What is that?” Harvey stood and walked to the door of his office, listening. His blood ran cold as he recognized the cold, metallic shrill of an air raid siren.  “There isn’t a test scheduled for today, is there?” 

Maru’s brow creased slightly as she flipped on the radio that sat at the front desk, normally crooning soft jazz, as the emergency broadcast system babbled to life. 

 

“--a potential airstrike has been launched against Ferngill Republic. Impacted Areas Include: Ginger Island, Grampleton, Pelican Town, Zuzu City. We repeat, potential airstrike impacting the area. Threat levels have been increased to Critical, attack is imminent. Seek shelter in a designated area or in the lowest, most central location in your home. We repeat. This is a broadcast of the emergency alert system. This is a not a test. Reports incoming that-- “



Harvey flipped off the radio as all color drained from his face. The bomb shelter lies beneath the clinic and Pierre’s General Store, accessible through the basement of the clinic. Maru rushed to prop the door as Harvey dashed down the stairs to open the shelter before running back up and across the square to help bring Evelyn and George to safety, his white lab coat whipping behind him like a propeller. Once George was settled back into his wheelchair with his family, safe and sound below the clinic, the doctor swapped places with Maru to direct people downstairs. He began to mentally take attendance of who’s arrived as he waited. 

 

Maru…George…Evelyn…Alex…Gus…Shane…Emily….Abigail….Pierre….Caroline….Lewis…

Excellent, here come Jodi, Sam, Kent, Haley….  Penny and the children must be at the library. Gunther and Clint are likely taking shelter there, as well. Hopefully, everyone on the mountain is able to make it into the mine, they ought to be safer there.  

 

Harvey’s heart droped into his stomach as he thought about all the neighbors who may not have a safe place. He made a mental note to go there first in the event that a bomb was dropped. Willy…Elliott….Leah…Marnie… Pam…the wizard in the forest, what is his name?  

Suddenly, his stomach twisted and he felt as if he might vomit. Bea. How could he have forgotten her? She had planned to harvest today, she was probably out working in the field right now. 

The hum of an engine appeared in the distance. Harvey took a few steps further into the square, staring down the dirt path that lead from town to the farm. 

 

Come on, Farmer! Where are you! 

 

The plane droned louder, visible now in the distance. Dr. Harvey Whittaker was jerked backward, a strong arm wrapping around his shoulders. He tried to fight it off, throwing elbows, kicking like a mule, but his savior was stronger than he was. He was forced down the stairs to safety.

Chapter 3

Summary:

TRIGGER WARNING FOR: War, Bombing, Death, PTSD, Panic Attacks, Medical Stuff, Animal Death.
This Author is not and does not claim to be a medical professional.
These warnings apply for the entirety of the work.

Chapter Text

“ARE YOU STUPID!” Kent bellowed, eyes wild, breathing heavily, directly into Harvey’s face. “ARE YOU REALLY THAT FUCKING STUPID?!” Harvey blinked, eyes wide and full of tears. “YOU COULD HAVE GIVEN AWAY OUR LOCATION, YOU COULD HAVE GOTTEN US ALL SPOTTED! KILLED EVEN!” Someone had fished out the battery-operated radio and tuned back into the emergency alert broadcast.

"--Impacted Areas Include: Ginger Island, Grampleton, Pelican Town, Zuzu City. We repeat, potential airstrike impacting the area. Threat levels have been increased to Critical--"

Jodi came to stand beside Kent, speaking firmly, making sure he knew she was there before she touched him. 
“Kent.”
“WILL SOMEONE TURN THAT GODDAMN THING OFF!” Kent continued while Jodi began to rub his back.
“Kent.”
He continued to shake, but he quieted.
“I-I….” Harvey inhaled deeply, taking a moment to switch into his customer service demeanor. “I may have something to help you with your anxiety, Kent. You’re right. I’m so sorry.” He retrieved his medical bag from where Maru had placed it on a table near the entrance and began rummaging. He produced a bottle and grabbed a bottle of water before returning to Kent.
“Kent, Jodi. This is Hydroxyzine. It’s an antihistamine. It’s also prescribed for panic attacks. It’ll help calm your nerves, Kent.” Jodi smiled weakly and held her hands out for the pills.
“Thank you, Harvey.” She spoke. The vein in Kent's forehead bulged as he tried to breathe. 
Doctor Whittaker took a moment to check on the rest of his neighbors before sliding to the ground against the hard cement wall, head in hands. He couldn't help it. His thoughts return to his partner.

Is there a siren near the farm? What if she’s caught outside in the field, unaware? What if they’re specifically targeting our food supply and the farm is a direct hit? What if…

Maru took a seat next to him, leaning her head against his shoulder solemnly. Harvey absentmindedly wrapped an arm around her, holding her close. He looked around, searching the faces of those without their loved ones. Some were crying softly. Some were dissociating. Some were scared. Some were angry. Were anyone to observe him, Harvey looked pale. He looked exhausted. He looked as if his heart had been ripped from his chest and ground into dust. 

Chapter 4

Summary:

TRIGGER WARNING FOR: War, Bombing, Death, PTSD, Panic Attacks, Medical Stuff, Animal Death.
This Author is not and does not claim to be a medical professional.
These warnings apply for the entirety of the work.

Chapter Text

The sun bore down, freckling the farmer’s bare shoulders as she swept the scythe back at forth, knocking the long golden brown stalks of grain to the ground. There had been an uneasy feeling in her stomach all day, but the harvest needed to be brought in before the rain came in later in the week. 

What is that? Bea stopped, looking up and around. There was a noise just barely audible from the east but she couldn’t place her finger on what it could be. Her mind strained to listen despite her best efforts to ignore whatever it is. She shook her head and rubbed the back of her neck with her leather-gloved hand. No time for baseless anxiety. The process of harvesting continued. The sound of metal scraping the ground and the whispering of the wheat as it fell soothed her frayed nerves. The routine and familiarity were comforting. 

Soon enough there was a new sound. A droning, coming from the south this time. There was a plane on the horizon. The farmer stopped again, placing a hand over her eyes to see better. She smiled to herself, wondering if Harvey would have time for a break to try to contact the pilot. Suddenly, two more planes appeared behind the first. It’s not often they saw more than a single plane in a day here in the valley,  let alone at the same time. 

Harvey would love this! I hope he can see them from the clinic. I wonder what kind of planes they are? He's going to be so excited. I’ll have to ask him about it tonight. 

It was only when a fourth, different plane appeared in the western sky did she realize something was strange. She leaned against the handle of the scythe, unable to look away. The tap dance of gunfire erupted above her. It was a relatively short exchange. The leading plane of the trio was hit, flames erupting from the fuselage, smoke spewing behind it. For a moment, it seemed as if it wasn’t going anywhere, only getting louder. The droning turned into a roar. She had heard tornadoes looked like they were standing still when they were coming at you and wondered if the same applied to airplanes. Her body kicked in before her mind did, flinging the scythe down and running as fast as she could in a desperate attempt to make it to the cellar door on the side of the house. The plane violently met the ground in the northwestern portion of the property, spewing dirt and debris, the smell of fuel and smoke choking her senses. Bea was knocked off her feet and thrown by the force of the blast.  She felt as if she were partaking in the world's most terrifying rollercoaster drop before the air was knocked out of her lungs as she met the ground, skidding to a halt. She felt like she was on fire. She tried to get up, gasping for air, vision swimming, unable to hear anything aside from the roar in her ears, before collapsing to the ground and surrendering to unconsciousness.

Chapter 5

Summary:

TRIGGER WARNING FOR: War, Bombing, Death, PTSD, Panic Attacks, Medical Stuff, Animal Death.
This Author is not and does not claim to be a medical professional.
These warnings apply for the entirety of the work.

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

Music crooned softly from the record player in the living room as Bea washed the dishes after dinner. Harvey had offered, but she was insistent that since he cooked she should be the one to clean up. He watched her for a moment from the doorway as she hummed softly along with the tune. Harvey crept up behind her, wrapping his arms around her waist and pressing himself against her back. He pulled her hair out of the way, draping it over her shoulder as a tender kiss was pressed against her neck before he began to sing along quietly. 

 

“If dreams came true, dear

No trouble would you see

Just song and laughter

To keep you company”

 

Harvey gently took her hands, easing down the dish wand and plate she was holding, before spinning her to face him. He placed her hand against his waist, before placing his against her’s respectively. He held the other against his heart. He continued to croon. 

 

“Oh my darling, oh my lover

In your heart you would soon discover

Song and laughter ever after

From the dreaming I'd do

If dreams came true” 

 

“Harvey.” The doctor jolted awake from the nap he hadn’t intended to take as his arm was shaken roughly. He looked up, blinking in the cold fluorescence of the bomb shelter lights.

“Bea?” 

“No, Maru. The all clear just sounded, we can go.”

 Someone had turned the radio back on while he was asleep. 

Attention. Attention, please. The national emergency has passed. You may return to your daily activities. Attention. Attention, please. The national emergency has passed. You may return to your daily activities. 

Harvey stood to his feet, groaning and stretching. His joints popped, stiff from sitting on the hard concrete floor.  He emerged after assisting George back up the stairs to see everyone gathered on the square not far from the door, staring at the smoke rising to the west of town. He froze momentarily. What was left of the color in his face drained away as his face hardened. His eyes met Shane’s for a mere second before he bolted back inside to grab the keys and his medical pack. 

“Shane, you’re coming with me. Maru, go check on the folks sheltered in the mountains. Pierre, beach. Sam, library. Jodi, please get Kent home and wait there with him, he doesn’t need to see what we may bring back. Everyone else…I don’t know. Go with a search party, rip bandages, go home, do what you can.” He turned and ran to the station wagon. He began slamming down the back seats alongside Shane to ensure there would be enough room to transport the wounded and injured. Based on the direction of the smoke plume, he tried not to think about who that could be. He flipped a switch on the dash as Shane jumped into the passenger seat, the siren atop his car screaming to life as they sped out of the square. 

Pam was on the side of the road, speed walking in the direction of the farm.  

“You alright, Pam?” Shane shouted out the window. She jumped before turning to them, placing her hands on her knees and gasping for air.  

“Boys a plane went down! I think it landed on Farmer’s property! Don’t worry about me, you just go make sure she’s alright!” Words of gratitude barely had the opportunity to leave Shane’s mouth before Harvey sped off, tires spitting gravel. 

He cursed loudly and slammed his hands against the steering wheel as soon as he saw the damage the farm had taken. The wheat field was engulfed in flames with a short trench running through it where the now crumpled plane had skidded to a stop before exploding, leaving twisted metal shrapnel laying like discarded children’s toys throughout the property. The silos were leaking grain. A few had smoke rising from their roofs, indicating something was burning inside. The barn and coop hadn’t fared much better, reduced to burning piles of rubble. The animals that had survived roamed the property aimlessly, their fences riddled with holes. The windows had shattered out of the greenhouse and their home. The siding was punctuated with shrapnel and the door on the front of the house had blown open in the blast. There was a hole in the roof. A number of the younger trees on the property had been snapped by the blast force or knocked over, uprooted. As soon as the car stopped Shane spotted Marnie. He was off like a light, nearly knocking her to the ground with the force of his embrace. Leah came jogging up to the house from the west entrance as he surveyed the hellscape in front of him. There was still no sign of Bea. 

“BEA! BEATRICE!” Harvey began shouting for her before he was entirely out of the car.  Leah, Marnie, and Shane met him there, ready to help however they could. 

“Harvey, I haven’t been able to find her. As soon as I heard the explosion I came running and I can’t find her.” Marnie sobbed as Shane nodded solemnly at her in an attempt to be comforting. “We’ll find her, Marnie. Don't worry.” 

Cries of “BEA!” “BEATRICE!” "BJ!" “FARMER!” “BEATRICE FARMER YOU ANSWER ME RIGHT NOW, I SWEAR TO YOBA!”  echoed throughout the farm for what felt like a century before a triumphant call of “I’ve got her! Over here!” erupted from an abandoned, grown-up garden plot. Shane stood above her, waving his hands above his head alerting them to their exact location.

At last, prayers were answered. 

“I’VE GOT HER!”

Notes:

The song from the beginning of the chapter is Pat Boone's "If Dreams Came True" (1959).
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ADA2VjUfLSo

Chapter 6

Summary:

TRIGGER WARNING FOR: War, Bombing, Death, PTSD, Panic Attacks, Medical Stuff, Animal Death.
This Author is not and does not claim to be a medical professional.
These warnings apply for the entirety of the work.

Chapter Text

Sunshine streamed through the windows as Bea opened her eyes. Harvey’s face rested mere inches from her own. She wished she could memorize this, his sleeping features. The way his long eyelashes lay against the slight circles under his eyes. They’re always there, his profession makes sure of that. She smiled softly at the way his deep breathing caused his mustache to dance against his lip ever so slightly. She loved the way the waves of his hair stood up every morning, an assurance of restful sleep. His arm was draped limply over her torso. The farmer couldn't help herself as she reached up to dust her fingertips lightly across his face, tracing the hills and valleys, appreciating the soft prick of the stubble against her skin. Before he even opened his eyes, he cupped her hand to his cheek and smiled. 

---

“I’VE GOT HER!” 

Harvey was by her side in a flash, dropping to his knees. She was face down in the dirt and peppered with shrapnel.  He placed his hand tenderly to her back to check that she was breathing before issuing instructions. 

“Leah, I need two branches, a little longer than she is. Shane, I need you to go grab a flat sheet from the house, we’re going to have to move her and if we’re going to turn her I’d rather do it all at once.” He pressed his fingers to her neck, measuring her pulse. Her heart rate was high. Her breathing was strained and rapid. He yanked the manual blood pressure cuff from his bag in order to take a reading. It was low. Of course it was low. Yoba above, there was so much blood.

He set to work folding the improvised stretcher as soon as the sheets and branches had arrived. He moved to her other side and cradled her neck in his hand as he would for a baby. He placed a hand on her hip before rolling her onto her back, coming to a rest on the stretcher. Part of him worried about pressing the shrapnel that littered the back side of her frame further into her, but nothing seemed to go so deep that it would be fatal.  He just needed to be able to transport her to the clinic so she could be better stabilized. So she could be cleaned up. She was pale but there was no blood coming from her ears, nose, or mouth. He assured himself that that was a promising sign. He gently brushed a knuckle against her cheek.

“It’s alright Bea.” His voice cracked as he choked the words out. “I’m here. Leah and Shane and Marnie too. We’re going to take care of you.”  He braced her neck before standing and brushing his hands against his pant legs. “I need everyone to grab a corner. We’ll lift her on three. One…two…THREE!” The stretcher was hoisted up, cradling her limp form. She was carried carefully but quickly this way, no one daring to speak as if they may disturb her. She was loaded into the back of the car feet first. 

“Shane, you’re driving. I'm riding in the back with her. Marnie, Leah. Thank you for your help. We’ll see you in town.” Harvey set to work before the car left the laneway. 

The other search parties had begun to trickle back into Pelican Town as Harvey’s searched for Bea. There were no casualties. There were few injuries, mostly scraped knees and frayed nerves. All things Maru handled with grace. Families were reunited. Harvey couldn’t help but wonder as he sat picking and pulling the debris from her skin, disinfecting and patching her wounds if his family would be made whole again, too. If he would be able to count himself amongst the lucky. He was already considerably lucky considering her injuries could have been much worse. She could have catastrophically hemorrhaged. Her lungs could have collapsed from the force of the blast. There were little to no signs of major brain injury, not that he was equipped to treat one here anyway. She could have lost limbs, or worse, her life. The fact that she was here at all was a miracle. He would much rather be her doctor right now than her widower. Was it fair to consider himself someone who could have been a widower when they weren’t even married? 

He apologized softly before setting her broken wrist, despite the fact that she was pumped full of morphine. She wouldn’t have been able to feel a thing. He glanced up at the vital sign monitor. Her breathing seemed to be improving, he noted. The quiet hsssssss of the nasal cannula feeding her oxygen kept him grounded to the present. Not reliving the horror of what he saw at their home, not too far ahead of himself. Just right here with her.  

He applied the cast and tenderly cleaned her body, dressing her in a clean gown before collapsing into a chair. Now there was nothing left to do except the hard part. The waiting. His confident exterior began to crack the longer he sat. He began to sob. He tried to hold it in, but he just couldn’t as the day caught up to him. His body shook violently with the effort of keeping quiet. The heels of his hands met his eyes and his fingers dragged upwards, pushing his glasses ahead of them as he tightly clenched his hair and folded in on himself.

Chapter 7

Summary:

TRIGGER WARNING FOR: War, Bombing, Death, PTSD, Panic Attacks, Medical Stuff, Animal Death.
This Author is not and does not claim to be a medical professional.
These warnings apply for the entirety of the work.

Chapter Text

Maru slid into the room softly, carrying a plastic bag of takeout from the saloon.

“Everybody’s at Gus’ for dinner but we figured you wouldn’t want to leave. Everyone’s been asking after her, how’s she doing?” She sat the bag down on the table before dragging up a chair. Harvey inhaled shakily, eyes red-rimmed.

“I think she’ll be okay. It’ll take her a while to heal, If she gets worse we'll have to transfer her to ZuZu General, but now….Now, all we can do is wait to see if she comes back to us. Her body needs the rest.” Maru squeezed his hand.

“Not if, Harvey. When. When she comes back to us.” She paused for a moment, studying Bea’s unconscious form.

“The military’s overrun the farm. They’re investigating the crash site. Marnie wants to know if you need anything from the house. She told my mom about the windows and Mom said she’ll go board them up tomorrow morning until they can be replaced. I don’t think those soldiers will give her much trouble, she can be pretty persuasive. She also wanted me to tell you not to worry about replacing any of the outbuildings, she’ll handle all that.” Harvey’s eyes begin to well with tears, speechless and overwhelmed. Maru notices and looks at him sternly.

“Harvey, everyone loves you and Bea. I don’t think there’s a single person in this valley who isn’t going to jump to help as soon as they see somewhere they can.”

Maru was right. Despite being assured he didn’t need anything, Marnie and Robin appeared with Bea’s favorite quilt, retrieved from the farmhouse and freshly laundered, in the morning. Bea remained unchanged as they tucked her in, as if she were their own child. Marnie stroked the hair from her face before tenderly kissing her forehead.

“You rest, we’ll take care of Harvey and everything else, okay?”.

Gus sent hot meals. Evelyn brought a bouquet of fresh-cut flowers from her garden. Jas and Vincent drew pictures. Emily dropped off something in a tiny bag that was supposed to have healing energy. Although he was doubtful, he slid it under Bea’s pillow just to be safe. Between Jodi and Caroline, enough servings of casserole were shoved into the apartment freezer to feed them for a month. Maru, Shane, and Leah offered companionship and coffee periodically throughout his vigil. 

“Honestly, you look like death. Please go take a shower. I can sit with her and if anything changes, I’ll come upstairs and get you.” Maru stood behind him, massaging his tense shoulders. He shrugged out from under her grasp.

“What if something happens? I can’t just leave her…” His weary eyes studied Bea's face. He’s barely left this room in three days. He’s still in the clothes he returned to the clinic in, speckled and stained with her dried blood. His body was stiff from alternating between sleeping in the chair and on the floor next to her. He’d barely touched any of the food that had been sent for him, instead leaving it stored in the fridge and falsely promising that he would eat it later. He'd been subsisting solely on coffee and the barely expired snack bars he had squirreled away in his office desk.

“Harvey. You won’t do her much good if you keel over yourself.” Maru moved to stand next to him, trying to shoot some sense into him with her stare. He sighed. He knew she was right. “I promise to come get you if something changes. Anything. I really think she’ll be okay for a bit though. Go shower and eat something. Maybe take a nap in the actual bed up there instead of on the floor if you’re feeling ambitious.”

Harvey stood, stretching slightly, feeling the pull of his muscles and the crack of his joints. He gently stroked Bea’s cheek before placing a kiss to her forehead. “Sweetheart, I’ll be right back, okay? Maru will be here with you.” He looked at Maru and smiled ever so slightly. “Thank you.” 

Maru settled down into the chair he’d just vacated as he slowly left the room and dragged himself up the stairs. He showered and ate. He shaved. He dressed in clean clothes. He felt as if he could sleep, but it just didn’t feel right to sleep without her anymore. He and Bea had alternated where they slept for a while between the farm and the clinic before he ultimately moved in with her. It wasn't very traditional of them, but since when had they done things the traditional way? 

He counted his blessings that he had left a few changes of clothes for emergencies and his basic furniture upstairs, although he had moved his books and his model plane set up to the office she had renovated for him at the farm. She’d gifted him a used but newer radio for Winter Star last year so he could have one both places, on the off chance he wanted to fiddle with the old one during his breaks. He looked out the window, towards the farm. After the last few days, he was no longer sure he was very interested in planes or contacting pilots passing overhead.

Eventually, he made his way back down the stairs and thanked Maru, relieving her from duty. She tried to beg him to go upstairs and get some sleep, but he refused. Instead, he sat back in the armchair next to Bea. He took her hand and slowly drifted off to sleep to the steady croon of the heart monitor.

Chapter 8

Summary:

TRIGGER WARNING FOR: War, Bombing, Death, PTSD, Panic Attacks, Medical Stuff, Amnesia, Animal Death.
This Author is not and does not claim to be a medical professional.
These warnings apply for the entirety of the work.

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

Harvey awoke to a soft groan beside him, and the feeling of Bea’s hand pulling away from his. Her eyes squinted at the ceiling as her hand came to rest on her forehead. 

“Bea? Sweetheart?” He gently pulled her hand away from her face as she turned to look at him. She tugged her hand out of his. Her eyes eventually managed to focus on his worried face. 

“Doctor Whittaker?” Harvey’s blood ran cold upon hearing his professional title. Why was she calling him Doctor? He cleared his throat and put on a brave face to the best of his ability. 

“I’m glad to see you’re back with us, Bea.” Her brow furrowed as she looked at him while he spoke. 

“Bea?” 

“I’m sorry, Doctor. Can you say that again?" He stood and muted the heart monitor, glancing at it to reassure himself that her heart rate was steady. It was elevated a bit, but in a safe range. It was understandable, given her current confusion. Harvey cleared his throat and raised his voice before repeating himself.

“I’m glad you’re back with us, Miss Farmer. I have a few questions for you, if that’s okay?” She nodded slightly before he began his game of 20 questions. 

 Can you give me your full name?”

“Beatrice June Farmer.

"Good. Can you tell me where you are?” 

“The Clinic? I think?”

“Okay. Can you tell me where you live?” 

“Pelican Town.”  

“Can you tell me how long you’ve lived there?” 

“About six months?” It had been nearly two and a half years. Harvey had to take a beat to steady himself mentally before he could continue trying to gauge her level of orientation. He tried to smile at her, but it came out a bit wobbly. 

“Do you know what happened to you?” 

Her eyebrows furrowed slightly as she thought about it.“....No….was it…..the mines?” 

“No, it wasn’t the mines. That’s okay.  Does anything hurt?” 

“My head…and a little bit of all over.”

“Okay. That’s normal. I can get you something for that.” Harvey stood, trying to focus on the task at hand. He wanted nothing more than to hold her close and tell her how much he loved her and how afraid he had been. He wanted her to stroke his hair and kiss his temple and tell him it would all be okay. For now, he would just have to settle for being there for her as her physician. He was glad he had listened to Maru, his appearance probably would have scared her had he not showered and shaved. He brought her a cup of water and two naproxen. She seemed to have no issues swallowing.

“Are you hungry? I can go warm up some soup or… I have these really delicious casseroles Jodi and Caroline dropped off for you in my freezer. I just have to microwave one.” Bea’s stomach churned at the thought of attempting solid food. 

“I think I would just like to go back to sleep for a little while…” She settled back into her pillows and pulled the quilt up over herself. He looked more haggard than he did the last time she saw him, and as if he hadn’t been sleeping. His face was a bit puffy as if he’d been crying. Her brow furrowed with concern. "Doctor Whittaker? Are you alright?" 

“I'm fine." He attempted another reassuring smile. It didn't come out much better than the last. "Please let me know if you need anything.” He placed the call light within her reach and showed her how to use it. 

“Thank you, Doctor.” she yawned. As Bea drifted off to sleep, Harvey left the room and began to weep. 

Notes:

You can all thank Robyne for suggesting amnesia and saying it would break her heart for this development of events. >:)

Chapter 9

Summary:

TRIGGER WARNING FOR: War, Bombing, Death, PTSD, Panic Attacks, Medical Stuff, Amnesia, Animal Death.
This Author is not and does not claim to be a medical professional.
These warnings apply for the entirety of the work.

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

“Let’s start with the worst news first. She seems to be experiencing some memory loss. In her mind, she’s lived in the valley for about six months. ”

 Harvey sat behind his desk, Marnie and Shane sitting across from him. He hated having meetings like this. It was even worse when he, technically, should have been on the opposite side of the desk as well. 

When Bea had originally made her feelings known, she’d told him that she had loved him since the beginning. Unfortunately, it wasn’t until her check-up a year later that she made it known she was interested. Very interested . She kissed him for the first time that day, seemingly out of the blue, after trying to tell him that he made her feel uncomfortable. That she didn’t want him to be her doctor anymore. “ Treat ‘em mean to keep ‘em keen” is what she joked any time he brought it up afterward.  They’d begun dating very shortly after that, him moving in with her six months later. With her not remembering the last two years, there was no recollection of the life they had begun to build together either.

Marnie gasped softly.

"Does that mean...?" 

Harvey knew the question before she could ask it. She wanted to know if Bea remembered him. 

Harvey shook his head slightly and continued. “She’s not got much appetite but she’s eating. Some hearing loss, wobbly on her feet. Headaches. She’ll probably need help keeping that cast and the stitches dry for the next couple of weeks, help changing her bandages. I’d like to keep her until tomorrow for observation, but I can’t just…send her home after she’s in the clear. Not in the state she’s in, not with the state the house is in, with the military poking around. We’d stay in the apartment but I…don’t think she’d be comfortable with that. Not with her not knowing me. It would be better for her to be with people she’s familiar with and Marnie, she’s always trusted you. I think with you, until the farm has settled, is the best place for her.” Harvey struggled to meet Marnie’s eyes as she stood and circled the desk, encapsulating him in a hug. 

Shane cleared his throat. “Marnie, she can take my room. It’s comfortable enough. Big bed, Tv, armchair.” Marnie straightened up to stare at Shane as her eyes welled with tears. 

“Oh, Shane…”She rushed back around the desk. It was now his turn for a bone-crushing hug. 

“ ‘S fine. The weather’s fine enough I was thinking about sleeping in the barn with the girls for a while before winter anyway.”  Harvey spotted the smallest hint of blush gracing the other man’s ears as he’s shot a sideways glance.

“My chickens” Shane explained. 

---

When Harvey and Marnie entered the room, Bea was sitting up. She offered them a weak smile. 

“Hello, Dr. Whittaker. Marnie.” Marnie took a moment to squeeze his hand reassuringly before sitting next to Bea and taking her's instead. 

Harvey cleared his throat.

“Miss Farmer, we need to talk about what happened.” 

“Okay.” Her face turned serious as she studied his. He wished he could know what was going on in her brain, what she knew, however fleeting the knowledge may be at any given moment. 

“The day you were hurt…there was an air raid. A Gotorran plane was shot down and crashed into your farm. There was an explosion.” She just stared at him, confused, so he continued.  “You may be ready to leave the clinic in the next day or so but won’t be able to go home just yet. Marnie has generously offered to let you stay with her family until the farm is ready for you.” She blinked, furrowing her brow for a moment before looking as if she might cry. 

“Oh…Marnie. Thank you. I don’t want to impose, though. I’m sure I could figure something out.”  

“It’s no imposition. None at all. Shane offered up his room.” Marnie moved to sit closer to her, on the bed, while wrapping a reassuring arm around her.  

Bea’s nose wrinkled at this revelation. “ Shane? Shane offered his room. To me? He’s not going tell me to take a hike?” Harvey and Marnie exchanged glances before chuckling slightly, remembering her desperate attempts to win him over when she first arrived in the valley. Shane had been so determined not to let her crack him, to ignore her and act like he had never met her. Bea, however, was persistent. Nothing he did scared her off, no matter how hard he tried. 

Harvey smiled kindly, hiding behind a thick mask of professionalism although his heart was breaking. He wished more than anything that the best thing for her wasn’t to send her away. That she could stay with him.

 “Bea…M-Miss Farmer. Sometimes when our bodies go through something as…” Horrific. Absolutely, heartbreakingly horrific.  “Stressful… as you have our brains swell and it can cause some…impairment. You see, when someone is caught in a blast wave from…” 

Her eyes narrowed as she cut him off. “What are you getting at?” He couldn’t help but flinch at her tone. 

“Based on what you said last night, you’re experiencing some memory loss. You told me you’ve only lived here six months but...It's been two and a half years.” 

Marnie chimed in. “Shane thinks the world of you, Bea. You’re his friend and he loves you. He wouldn’t have it any other way. He wants you to take his room. 

The farmer inhaled slowly, marinating on all the information she just had to take in. 

So, the farm is in shambles, that’s nothing new. Shit, the plane probably cleared some land and did me a favor. And Shane is my friend. Weird. She met Harvey’s gaze and noted the worry in his eyes as well as a look she didn’t recognize from him. Something she couldn’t quite place. 

Weird.

Notes:

References 'A Pretty Good Bad Idea' (2.0), which can be found on my page!

Chapter 10

Summary:

TRIGGER WARNING FOR: War, Bombing, Death, PTSD, Panic Attacks, Medical Stuff, Amnesia, Animal Death.
This Author is not and does not claim to be a medical professional.
These warnings apply for the entirety of the work.

Chapter Text

Bea took in Shane’s room as she sat down her suitcase. It was cozy enough. Close to how she remembered it from when they were children. She still hadn’t seen the farm. Her clothes had been packed for her and brought to the clinic in an attempt to keep her surroundings as familiar as possible. At least that’s what they told her. The farm had changed enough over the last year and a half that even without the wreckage of a plane and the military vehicles all over the place she may not have recognized it, though she didn’t know that. She walked around the room, slowly examining her surroundings. Dr. Whittaker, Shane, Marnie. They were all treating her as if she were so fragile she may break in the next gust of light wind. 

“I like your chicken picture.” she didn’t turn to face him. 

Shane stood behind her, leaning against the doorway so as to not crowd her. 

“Thanks.” He smiled softly to himself. “Do you remember my chickens? They’ll be glad to see you. I think Charlie’s missed you.” Bea’s face lit up at the mention of the animals. 

“You have chickens!” Shane winced but smiled. He pitied whoever was going to have to tell her about her own hens. She’d raised them all from chicks and loved them as if they were her children. Really, she loved all of her animals, but the chickens were special to her because Shane had trusted her enough to share his passion. 

“We can go see them whenever you feel up for it, Farmer. You should get settled in and washed up first, though. I think Marnie is making stew for dinner.” He turned to leave but was caught by her small unsure voice calling him back. 

“Shane? Thank you.” 

“What for?” Bea would have done this for anyone in town had the roles been reversed. She would have taken them into her home and nursed them back to health in an instant, letting them stay as long as they needed. Shane was glad he and Marnie were able to do that for her. 

“For being kind. For….for being my friend again. I’m sorry I don’t remember...” 

He smiled at her before leaving her to her thoughts. She sat on the bed tenderly, as if she were unsure. This didn’t feel right, sleeping in a man’s bed. She She felt as if she were being unfaithful somehow though to whom she didn’t know. 

 

After dinner she joined Shane in the barn, cradling Charlie in her lap. He was right, the small brown chicken did seem as if she had missed her. Shane took a swig of his soda, studying Bea for a moment before he began to speak.

“You’d walk by our fence and pet her and the cows every morning. I think she knew your routine. She always seemed a little off on the days you didn’t show up.” 

Bea smiled down at the small friend sitting in her lap. “She’s very sweet. Maybe I should get some chickens of my own for the farm and then she can come for…I don’t know, chicken play dates or something.” 

Shane sat contemplatively for a moment, trying to decide how to answer her. Whether he should tell her the truth or not. He eventually decided not to. Not right now. “You could get some Easter Eggers. They’re friendly birds. Pretty cute and lay beautiful eggs, too. Rhode Island Red, Wyannadote, Speckled Sussex… All good breeds. There are also these really fluffy chickens called Silkies. They’re very friendly but they tend to go broody. Charlie here is a cochin. They’re good lap chickens…obviously.” Charlie murmured in agreement as if she could understand that they were speaking about her. “Marnie and I can help you get a flock set up…when you’re ready. And you can come to visit my ladies any time." 

Bea looked up at him. She never stopped smiling the entire time Charlie was in her lap. Charlie made her feel safe and calm. “I’d like that. Thank you, Shane.” 

Although she’d been in Marnie’s house plenty of times, something about sleeping there felt…strange. Like she didn’t fit. Like something was missing. She climbed out of bed, pulling on her shoes and her jacket over her pajamas. There was a chill to the air, autumn was on the breeze. Maybe it was her brother. The few times she had spent the night here as a kid, Ford had been with her. 

She didn’t remember this jacket, but it was comforting somehow. She pulled the collar up over her ears, hiding her face in the warm depths of its liner.  

Weird. She thought. If this is my coat why does it smell like men’s cologne? 

 

--

She had ended up running out of feed on a Sunday night. Marnie was closed on Monday so she really had no choice but to drive to the farm supply shop in Grampleton. As she walked in something green caught her eye in the clothing section and she couldn’t help but wander over. It was a green barn coat, with a brown corduroy collar. She took it off the rack and tried it on, it seemed warm enough. The soft flannel lining felt like a hug. Her coat now was well-worn and well-loved, it had been her grandfather's. She’d patched it so many times it was reminiscent of the Dolly Parton song she loved so much as a little girl, Coat of Many Colors. Honestly, she wasn’t truly sure that any original coat was left.  She chewed her lip as she mulled it over, but ultimately returned the coat to the sales rack. She couldn’t justify spending the money. 

She told Harvey about the coat that night. How comforting and soft it was. The way its color reminded her of his very own coat. He had faked a meeting with the physician in Grampleton the next morning, just so he could go to the feed store and buy it for her. She wore it everywhere. To the barn, to town, to fish, to mine.  She had loved that coat, but what she loved most was that it was a gift from Harvey. She sprayed his cologne into the liner every chance she got so that she could smell him throughout the day, no matter what hardships were tossed at her. It smelled like him, even now. 

--

 

Shane said I can go visit the chickens any time I want, right?

She grabbed a flashlight that had been discarded on the kitchen counter and crept to the barn. She didn’t see Charlie so she pulled a red hen from the roost to cuddle. The hen bristled and clucked angrily before settling into her lap, accepting that this was its fate for now. The straw pile on the other side of the barn shuffled slightly, causing Bea to freeze. Shane sat up, random bits and bobs sticking up from his hair and his clothes. He rubbed his eyes groggily before resting his eyes on Bea.

“Farmer? You alright?”

“Sorry…I didn’t….I didn’t realize….I didn’t know you were out here. What are you doing in the barn this late?”

“I could ask you the same thing.” Shane smirked. 

“Couldn’t sleep.”

“Want to talk about it?” 

“I just…” Bea sighed, picking slightly at the cast on her arm. “I feel like a square peg in a round hole. You know?” 

Shane got up from his straw bed and came to sit next to her, bumping her shoulder with his own. “Care to explain?” 

“Something feels like it’s missing. The night feels too dark, the bed feels too big. I guess I was just…lonely? I don’t know. I’ve been sleeping on my own since I was a little girl, I don’t know what’s gotten into me.” 

Shane sighed, unwilling to look at her. The discussion of whom she had been sharing her bed with wasn’t one for him to have with her. What would he say? Actually Bea, you and Harvey shacked up and had been sharing your bed. Does she even remember the man's name? He’d overheard her calling her Dr. Whittaker. Surely she knows his first name, right?  She reminded him of a puppy, separated from its mother too soon. At least the puppy probably remembered what it had lost. 

“Listen. I don’t mean to make this weird or uncomfortable but…do you want to sleep with me?” 

Bea visibly bristled, trying to leap to her feet in order to make a hasty exit before nearly falling over, inhaling sharply from the pain of moving too quickly too soon. 

“NO. BEA. NOT LIKE THAT. DO YOU WANT TO SLEEP, LITERALLY SLEEP,  IN THE BARN? WHERE I WAS SLEEPING. WITH ME.” They stared at each other, eyes wide, before she began to laugh. Shane couldn't help but join her. 

"Like a slumber party?"

"Like a slumber party. Just like when we were kids."  

“Yeah, actually. I think not being alone might help, thank you.” She still seemed unsure, but she was willing to give it a shot. 

He stood and gestured to the pile of straw before helping her to her feet. 

“Home sweet home.” He laid down and she nestled in next to him. Before he knew it, she was fast asleep.

Chapter 11

Summary:

TRIGGER WARNING FOR: War, Bombing, Death, PTSD, Panic Attacks, Medical Stuff, Amnesia, Animal Death.
This Author is not and does not claim to be a medical professional.
These warnings apply for the entirety of the work.

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

Harvey walked towards the military blockade, isolating the farm from the rest of the world, his stomach working itself into knots. He hadn’t been here since they hauled Bea out. There was no longer smoke in the sky, no longer the stench of fuel or fire. It was much harder than he thought it would have been, coming back here. He focused on counting his steps and breathing slowly. 

The soldiers shifted their rifles as he approached them. 

“State your business.” Their eyes were hard, almost cold. A shiver ran up his spine. 

“I need to retrieve some belongings from the house.” 

“The paperwork says the resident of this property is a Miss B. Famer. You don’t appear to be a Miss, sir.” 

“I’m her partner. My name is Harvey Whittaker, I’m staying in my apartment above the clinic right now. I just need a few things from our bedroom. That’s all.” 

The younger man walked away for a moment, talking quietly into his radio before coming back to let Harvey inside and escort him to the house. 

There were soldiers everywhere. Taking pictures, taking videos, taking samples. He tried not to look at the spot Shane had found her. They’d begun disassembling the craft into haulable pieces and loading it onto trucks. Glass crunched underfoot as he entered the living room. The windows were blown out, as was the front door, that much he could see from the outside. Everything that had hung on the walls had been knocked off their nails. There were cracks in some of the walls and some of the ceilings had cracked and begun to cave, while others had caved in completely. He peeked into his office on the way to the bedroom. His papers were everywhere. His model planes had fallen from their shelves, some of them smashed to bits and vaguely resembling the real plane outside. His throat caught when he entered their bedroom. It was a mess. He wished he could call her more than anything in that moment so that she could tell him that it would all be okay. So that he didn't have to do this alone. He picked up the picture of himself and Bea from where it had blown off the nightstand, running his hand slightly over the photo. The glass was cracked but wasn’t entirely broken. It was from their first flower dance, his arms wrapped around her waist and her hands on his chest. She was beaming up at him. She was so beautiful. 

The soldier tried not to be nosey but couldn’t help himself. He stole a glance at the picture.

“That your wife?” Harvey didn’t turn to look at him but chuckled sadly. 

“She was going to be.”

Notes:

This chapter was inspired by 'Your Belgian Things' by The Mountain Goats.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zjj9sMCAxmM

Chapter 12

Summary:

TRIGGER WARNING FOR: War, Bombing, Death, PTSD, Panic Attacks, Medical Stuff, Amnesia, Animal Death.
This Author is not and does not claim to be a medical professional.
These warnings apply for the entirety of the work.

Chapter Text

Marnie burst into the barn the morning following the sleepover, panicked.

“Shane! It’s Bea she’s --” she quieted as she took in the scene in front of her. Bea was asleep nearly on top of him, her head resting on his chest. Shane was carefully rubbing comforting circles onto her back. He blinked up at Marnie drowsily. He held his finger to his lips, motioning to Marnie to keep quiet. Marnie sighed but surrendered and went back into the house. 

Marnie smiled brightly at Bea when the pair eventually came inside, but as soon as she was out of the room the smile quickly dropped. 

“Shane, why was she sleeping in the barn? She’s not well! She could have caught cold!” 

“She came to visit the chickens late last night. She really enjoyed their company earlier in the day and she couldn’t sleep.”  

“You should have brought her back inside!” 

“She’s not a dog Marnie, I wasn’t going to just send her back inside to cry herself to sleep alone!” Shane found himself glowering. 

“I never said she was a dog!” Marnie pinched the bridge of her nose between her fingers but slowly looked at him as an idea crossed her mind. 

 

Harvey sat across from Marnie at his desk, hands clasped together, brow furrowed. 

“You want to get Bea a dog? She’s barely a week out from nearly dying, we don’t know how she may change from tomorrow to the next day, and you want to get her...a dog?” He stared at her, wanting to ensure he had heard her correctly. Marnie rubbed the back of her neck. 

“...Yes. One of my friends a few towns over has a bitch who had a litter not too long ago and by the time they’re 8 weeks I imagine we’ll have some sort of idea of how she’s doing and where she’s headed.” 

Harvey mulled it over before answering slowly. “Dogs are known to be therapeutic. She’ll probably need help caring for a dog though, at least until she gets her strength back up and gets her bearings.” Marnie nodded in agreement before Harvey continued. “It is your house she’s staying in and… I think you may be on to something Marnie.” he nodded slowly. “If you want to get her a dog, go ahead and reserve a pup. I'll help pay for it. ” 

As he and Marnie approached the ranch, they found Bea sitting on a hay bale inside the cow pen while Shane mucked the stalls. Bea smiled brightly at him and went to stand. Her smile radiated warmth. It was one of his favorite things about her and he couldn’t help but smile back as he motioned for her to remain seated. He leaned against the outside of the fence, resting one foot on the bottom rung. 

“Good morning, Miss Farmer! I’m glad to see you up and around. How are you feeling today? I just wanted to come check on you and maybe see how your sutures are holding up if you were feeling chipper.” 

“Oh..um...I’m alright Dr. Whittaker. Still sore. Still a little tired, but I can’t just stay in bed wasting the day away.” It took him a moment to realize she was holding a chicken, stroking its feathers. The chicken seemed contented enough. Marnie had been right, maybe getting her a pet would be a good idea. 

Bea looked down to the little chicken and crooned. “Charlie, don’t be rude, say hello to Dr. Whittaker.” Despite Bea’s admonishment, Charlie didn’t make a sound. 

“Hello, Charlie." Harvey chuckled. He looked across the pen to where Shane was working, watching him for a moment, before speaking again. 

"Also, Miss Farmer? You can just call me Harvey if you’d like.” She perked up at this and her eyes widened as she processed the seemingly new development. He noticed a blush beginning to spread across her cheeks. Had she been like this the first go around and he never noticed? Yoba, they had been hopeless. She quickly looked down at Charlie as the blush intensified, not making eye contact. 

“In that case, Dr. Whitt-- Harvey. You can call me Bea. All my friends do.” Harvey couldn’t help himself but smile. 

“Hello, Bea.”

Chapter 13

Summary:

TRIGGER WARNING FOR: War, Bombing, Death, PTSD, Panic Attacks, Medical Stuff, Amnesia, Animal Death.
This Author is not and does not claim to be a medical professional.
These warnings apply for the entirety of the work.

Chapter Text

Harvey and Bea found themselves sitting in Marnie’s bathroom, Bea perched on the rim of the tub holding a towel over her front. Harvey knelt behind her as he examined her wounds. 

“These look like they’re healing really well, Bea. Good job. We’ll get these re-dressed with some ointment and then I’d like to listen to your lungs and your heart. After that, I’ll leave you be to enjoy your afternoon.” She wished she hadn’t re-braided her hair that morning so she could hide a little easier behind the thick curtain it would have provided.

“Does your head still hurt?”

“Sometimes.”

 Her face was burning as he delicately removed bandages, applied ointment, and reapplied bandages. Although he was wearing gloves, his hands were warm and comforting but it all just felt too…intimate. Too familiar. The world felt as if it were closing in and she suddenly felt as if she couldn’t get enough air. Her hands shot out to her sides and gripped the bathtub. Harvey’s hands immediately dropped to hold her waist as her breath hitched. Before he touched her he recoiled, his hands clenching into fists and bouncing off his knees before coming to a rest.

“Bea? Are you okay? Did I hurt you?” 

“No, No. It’s fine. I think I’m just…a little touched out? I don’t know.”  She felt silly. He was a doctor, just doing his job. It was his job to be gentle with her, his job to check her over. To touch her. There was something about him that made her stomach erupt into a swarm of butterflies, that made her chest ache. It was frightening. Why did she feel like this? Sure, she had a crush on him, she had since the moment she met him, but it had never felt like this before. Like her body had gone rogue. 

“Alright. All hands off. We can take a break. You’ve still got some spots that need re-dressed but I can wait as long as you need me to. What can I do to support you right now?” 

“I think…I think I just need some space. Can you just give me a minute?” 

Harvey stood. He didn’t realize his heart could break any further than it already had, but it did. He had frightened her. 

“Of course, take all the time you need.” He stepped out of the room, closing the door behind him. Shane was leaning against the counter in the kitchen, drinking a Joja Cola. 

“She okay?” He tried to look casual, but Harvey could tell that he was concerned. 

“She said she was touched out. Needed a break. I don’t blame her. It must be mortifying having to sit half naked in front of a man you don’t know.” Harvey tried hard to mask the crack in his voice. Shane grunted in agreement before taking a long drink. 

“I don’t think it’s because you’re a man, doc. I think it’s because you’re you. Even if she doesn’t remember the extent of your relationship, it’s just as obvious now as it was back then that she likes you.” 

Harvey blinked. Why hadn’t he thought of that? Both men turned at the sound of the bathroom door opening. Bea peaked her head out, still holding the towel over her front. 

“I think I’m ready.” 

Harvey nodded and followed her into back into the bathroom. She resumed her perch on the bathtub, and he resumed his, kneeling behind her and replacing his gloves.  

“Bea, any time you need a break just tell me to stop okay? Hands off immediately, no questions asked. I won’t be upset with you.” She nodded in response and took a deep breath before releasing it shakily. 

“Okay. I’m ready.” 

 

They only had to stop one more time before Bea’s back was finished being doctored.  Harvey stepped out to allow her to redress before he listened to her heart and lungs, assuming that it would make her more comfortable. Her heart was absolutely thunderous. When he glanced up her eyes were narrowed. She looked as if she were thinking pretty hard about something. 

“Bea?”  It took her a moment to respond, but when she did it was the last thing he had expected to come out of her mouth. 

“You smell….” 

Harvey wasn’t sure if he wanted to laugh or cry. Did he step in manure outside? He tried to keep his expression neutral but he couldn’t keep his mouth from twitching up at the corner. 

“I’m sorry?” 

Bea’s eyes widened, realizing she may have possibly offended him.

“I’m sorry! You don’t stink. Um…I just…my coat smells like you.”

 Her expression was so earnest he couldn’t help but smile at her. 

“I bought you that coat. We were…close…before…and um. Yeah. Sorry it’s smelly.” Her face flushed bright red at this and she laughed, hiding behind her hands. Harvey couldn’t help but laugh too as he stood. 

 “I’ll let you get back to Shane and Charlie.” He held his hand out to help her to her feet and out of the tub. She took it without hesitation. As she held his hand she was sure that if this were a sappy rom-com there would be some fireworks or something in the distance. She studied his face. There was that expression she couldn’t quite read again. Hurt? Heartbreak? Had she done this to him? 

“Harvey? I don’t know what I’ve done but I’m--” He cut her off before she could finish. 

“Don’t. Please don’t apologize. It isn’t your fault. I’ll see you later, okay?”

She nodded mutely as he gently released her hand and left her in the bathroom, alone. 

Chapter 14

Summary:

TRIGGER WARNING FOR: War, Bombing, Death, PTSD, Panic Attacks, Medical Stuff, Amnesia, Animal Death.
This Author is not and does not claim to be a medical professional.
These warnings apply for the entirety of the work.

Chapter Text

The stones ricocheted across the surface of the pond as the crickets sang. Bea’s legs dangled off the edge of the dock alongside Shane’s as they watched Jas skip rope under the big oak tree. They sat in silence for a while, Bea’s brain whirring, as she thought back on the interaction she’d had with Harvey that afternoon. 

"Do you remember when we would come out here as kids? You, me, and Ford?" The sound of Shane's voice and the mention of her brother shattered her concentration. It took her a moment to formulate an answer, to realize what he was saying to her. 

"I miss him. I missed you." She spoke quietly as if she were afraid he might disappear if she admitted her feelings too loudly. 

"I missed you too." He didn't look at her. He couldn't. It felt like hours passed before someone finally spoke again.

“Harvey seems nice.” She tossed another stone into the water as Shane hummed in agreement. 

“Yeah." He stared across the water at Jas in silence for a few moments before continuing. 

“When you moved here I was a horrible drunk. You never stopped trying to be my friend, though. No matter how awful I was to you. I tried so hard to scare you away. I was in a really bad place." He had to stop to suck in a breath before continuing.

"You....you found me out by the cliffs one night. I wanted to die, but I was too scared to do it. You sat and talked with me for a while. You reminded me of all the good in my life that I needed to live to experience and then you took me to Harvey. He had to pump my stomach. You were gone when I woke up in the morning, but he said you had sat with us all night. I tried to thank you for it, later, but you said you didn’t need any thanks. You were just glad I was still here. That you had already lost one brother and couldn't lose another. I got sober after that. Went to a treatment program in ZuZu City. I couldn’t have done that without you.” He took a moment to throw another rock before laughing slightly. Bea didn’t look at him, but it sounded like he might cry. 

“Another time you caught me coming out of the saloon a few days in a row. I think Marnie had really built up this idea in your head that I was drinking. And it did look like it from the outside, probably. And it probably sounded like it. You smacked the daylights out of me, yelled at me, and then asked me about it. I was just playing Prairie King. You came and played with me just about every night for a month so you could set the record straight if anyone had the audacity to run their mouth to you about me again. Harvey would come sometimes too.” He bumped her with his shoulder gently. “He's a stick in the mud but...I like him. Neither of you ever did beat my high score, though.” Shane looked at Bea out of the corner of his eye. She was smiling, ever so slightly. He wished she would say something. He sighed. 

“You attended the flower dance with Harvey your second year in the valley. I caught the two of you asleep in the woods the next morning. You couldn’t stay away from each other long enough to even make it home.” He had her attention with this. She was staring at him, brow furrowed, waiting for him to make his point. 

“Harvey loves you. Like, really really loves you, BJ. On the day of the air raid, he had to be dragged into the basement to safety. He just…stood outside, waiting and hoping for you to show up. We all thought he was going to bolt. I have never seen anyone break the way he did when he saw the crash and you...you were nowhere. It took us a while to find you…I hope I never see or hear anything like that ever again.” A chill went up his spine, just thinking about seeing her laying limp in the dirt. Shane took another swig of his cola. 

Finally, Bea spoke. Her voice cracked as she wiped tears away with the heels of her hands.

“Why didn’t he say anything? When he was at the house today?” Shane wrapped an arm around her shoulders.

Because he loves you , Farmer. Knowing him and seeing the way he’s been acting around you, he’d rather wait for you to remember for the rest of his life than potentially make you uncomfortable.” 

Bea skipped another rock across the pond as she tried not to cry.

Chapter 15

Summary:

TRIGGER WARNING FOR: War, Bombing, Death, PTSD, Panic Attacks, Medical Stuff, Amnesia, Animal Death.
This Author is not and does not claim to be a medical professional.
These warnings apply for the entirety of the work.

Chapter Text

It was nearly a week before Bea got to see Harvey again. Marnie had taken over dressing changes for the most part after how anxious she had gotten when Harvey did it, but Marnie was no replacement for a medical professional. Bea was going to have to go in for a check-up. Marnie and everyone else was a little nervous about Bea trying to go to town by herself. The day of her appointment at the clinic, though, she was insistent that she wanted to do this on her own. That she needed to do this on her own. Otherwise, how would she talk to Harvey about what she’d been told? Shane had let it slip as they lay in the barn last night discussing her relationship and what she wanted to do about it, that although Harvey didn’t like most sweet things, he did especially enjoy her cinnamon rolls. She, with assistance from Jas, baked a dozen that morning, especially for him. It would be a good foot in the door. She packed up a few and a thermos of coffee before departing the ranch. She had walked the path past Marnie and Leah’s homes plenty enough times that she made it into town proper without much trouble. It was slow going. She was spotted by Jodi and had to stop and talk. And then Evelyn and Caroline flagged her down before she got the chance to walk into the clinic. She was touched by their well wishes, but she wished she had been able to just pop into the clinic undetected. She noted each of them glance at what she was carrying and could tell that they were wondering if they were for Harvey, or if she remembered him, or…or….or….

When she finally made it inside, Maru smiled brightly at her.

 “Hello, Bea! It’s so good to see you again. I’ll go grab Harvey for you.” When she spotted the goodies Bea had brought, her smile seemed to grow tenfold. She called out to him over her shoulder, and if Bea hadn’t been looking directly at him as he emerged from the hallway she would have missed the way his eyes lit up, took stock of the package in her good hand, and seemed to grow a little misty -- all in a fraction of a second. 

“Jas and I made cinnamon rolls this morning and I heard you might be interested and, well, you can’t have cinnamon rolls without coffee, so….” She handed the package to him and dug the thermos out of her tote.  Maru tried very hard to look like she was minding her business and doing something else as Harvey took them and blushed. 

“Alright, well, let’s get you back here and looked over.” He held the swinging door open for her and led her to an exam room. He sat the items on the counter before helping her up onto the bed and scrubbing his hands vigorously in the sink.

“So, Bea. How’s your hearing? Has it gotten any better?” 

“I think it’s a little better. Maybe? Things are still kind of muffled but I think it’s better than it was at first.”

“Okay. Good. Mind if I take a look?” He was concentrating awfully hard on drying his hands instead of looking directly at her. 

“Go ahead.” He removed the otoscope from the wall and looked into her ears, humming in contemplation. 

“Does your head still hurt?”

“Sometimes.”

 “How’s your arm?” He took hold of her cast tenderly after replacing the tool and examined it before moving to check the other wrist. 

“Stiff. A little sore. I’m ready to get this cast off.” Harvey chucked in response to her eagerness. 

“I bet. It looks alright from the outside, you’ve done a good job taking care of it. Can I listen to your heart and lungs?” Bea nodded, acutely aware of the fact her heart was racing. Harvey smiled slightly to himself, noting the same as he listened to her. 

 He placed his stethoscope around his neck before scooting back to get a good, whole-picture look at her.  He seemed nervous. 

“I need to talk to you about something. I’d rather talk about this now than after I’ve gotten you riled up and feeling vulnerable.” Bea didn’t respond. She just stared at him. 

“The military hospital has asked that the majority of your care be transferred to them. They would cover it 100% as well as your travel expenses. I suspect you could use a hearing aid going forward if your hearing doesn’t improve any further. They’d cover that. They have specialists that can help you better than I could with access to advanced technology. Maybe they could figure out what’s going on in that head of yours, if there’s any swelling left or anything that may be causing some of your ongoing symptoms. We’re just a rural clinic so it’s just kind of a wait-and-see situation if you don’t want to go. The choice is yours but….I think you ought to do it, especially since you’re just about well enough to travel. You are well enough to travel with a companion. ” Bea sat silently for a moment, soaking in the information. 

“Would you be my companion?”  She studied his face for a moment before looking down.

“I’m sure Shane or Marn…wait, what?” Harvey blinked, staring at her with a slight, confused frown gracing his features. 

“Will you go with me?” Bea began to fidget with the hem of her shirt as she stared at her lap,  waiting for him to answer. 

“If that’s what you want…” Doubt filled every inch of him. Why did she want him? 

“You’ll go?”  She smiled ever so slightly, risking a glance up to his face. 

“I’ll go.” He coughed awkwardly.  “Well. That settles that. Can I take a look at your stitches? I think it’s time we took these out.” She nodded again. Harvey stepped out so that she could change into the open-backed gown he had set out for her. This felt much more secure than the towel, even though she had to adjust it on her shoulders slightly so he could access everything he needed to. She lost herself in her thoughts as he began his work examining and removing them. 

It was easier this time. Maybe it was because now she knew what these feelings were as his gentle hands worked on her, tugging at her skin. Harvey was her boyfriend. Harvey loved her. And she had loved him too. She decided it would be better to tell him what she knew while he was distracted. 

“I was talking to Shane last night and…I know you’re my boyfriend, Harvey. Why didn’t you say anything?” Her voice was soft. She felt his hands waiver momentarily as a sigh danced across her naked back. 

“I…I didn’t want you to feel pressured to be with me. I didn’t want you to feel overwhelmed or overburdened. I…” Bea cut him off. Maybe talking to him about this while he wasn’t looking at her face was a bad idea, but it was too late to take it back now. She took a deep breath. 

“Then we’ll start over.” 

“What?” He wheeled the stool he was seated on to one side so he could see her face a little bit better. She turned slightly so she, too, could have a better view of him.  

“I’d like to get to know you, Harvey. Again. I’ve liked you since I moved here. Maybe we could get coffee sometime? Or…dinner?” He nodded as his mouth opened and closed a few times and his eyes bugged out of his head. The man looked like a fish out of water.

“I’d….I’d like that.” She watched his Adam's apple bob as he swallowed hard and smiled at him as reassuringly as possible. 

“Um…after your appointment I’m due for my lunch break? It would be quieter, a little less chaotic at the Saloon than if we went at dinner. “ She nodded a little and sucked her lips into her mouth to keep from erupting into face splitting grin. 

It was a date.

Chapter 16

Summary:

TRIGGER WARNING FOR: War, Bombing, Death, PTSD, Panic Attacks, Medical Stuff, Amnesia, Animal Death.
This Author is not and does not claim to be a medical professional.
These warnings apply for the entirety of the work.

Chapter Text

“Miss Farmer! How good it is to see you!” Gus boomed from behind the bar, rushing around to embrace Bea in a hug. She smiled nervously and greeted him in turn. Other than Gus they seemed to have the place entirely to themselves. Emily wasn’t due to start her shift for another couple hours. 

“It’s so good to see you two together again, Bea. I don’t think Harvey quite knows what to do with himself without you around” he chortled. Harvey started to correct him, that they weren’t together as they had been before but Bea cut him off.

“We’re glad to be back together too, Gus. Thank you. ” She latched onto Harvey’s hand and squeezed it tightly, beaming up at him as if it were the most natural thing in the world. 

They sat in the booth farthest from the bar and the door, across from each other. They stared in silence for a moment before Bea took the lead. 

“I feel like I may be at a disadvantage here. You probably know everything there is about me, but I don’t know where to begin to get to know you.” Harvey reached across the table and took her good hand in his. She could have her pick of partners. She was beautiful, kind, funny…he could barely believe she had chosen him the first time, let alone now. How had he gotten so lucky? 

“You said we could start over, remember? Ask me anything.” He rubbed his thumb over her knuckles as she thought. 

“What…is your favorite color?” She didn’t pull her hand away. It felt as if this was exactly where it belonged. 

“Green, yours?” She giggled at this, clearly amused by his act of unknowing. 

“You don’t already know?” He shrugged, raising his eyebrows.

“You said we were starting over.” 

“Cornflower blue. Uh….what do you do for fun?” 

“I make model planes. I’m not sure how I feel about them anymore though….I also enjoy taking walks and watching historical documentaries and reading.” Her eyes twinkled mischeviously as she smirked at him.

“Is that what your personal newspaper ad says?” He blushed bright red at this. He pulled his hand away to adjust his tie nervously. Gus placed their meals in front of them and smiled reassuringly before departing. 

“I’ve not had to do this dating thing in a while.” Harvey cleared his throat and took a drink of his water. 

“Me either, evidently.” Bea stirred her tea, focusing on the ice swirling in her drink, suddenly nervous in response to his bashfulness. What if Shane had been wrong about Harvey’s feelings? What if she had trapped him with her admission that she knew about their relationship? What if he was just humoring her? She was suddenly aware of his eyes on her. She risked returning his gaze, nervous about what she would find. They were kind although she could still see the deep sorrow that lingered there. He had told her not to apologize that day in Marnie’s bathroom. But she couldn’t shake the feeling that she was the reason this man was so sad. 

 “So, um. Did you always want to be a doctor?” 

“No, I wanted to be a pilot. My eyesight isn’t very good. And I’m deathly afraid of heights. It’s okay though. Not everyone can achieve their dreams and I’ve accepted my station in life. If I weren’t a doctor, I may not have come to the Valley. And if I didn’t come to the Valley I probably never would have met you. Even with things the way they are right now I….I wouldn’t take it back. I’m glad to know you, Bea.”  She looked at the ceiling as tears began to fill her eyes. It was her fault. She wished desperately she could remember anything. A single sliver of memory to assure him that the woman he had fallen in love with was still within her somewhere. 

“I’m glad I know you, too. Harvey.”  she choked out. 

Harvey wished he could read her mind, or that she would tell him what was wrong. Yoba, he hated seeing her upset. What had he said? What could he do? Suddenly it struck him. Something that may make her laugh. He leaned forward and dropped his voice into a whisper. 

“Back to hobbies…I do dance aerobics on Wednesdays with the ladies. We meet at Caroline’s. I’m not very good. I barely keep up. Don’t tell anyone.” He met Bea’s eyes and grinned sheepishly. She couldn’t help but laugh shakily at that, sniffling and wiping at her eyes. 

“Your secret is safe with me, Doctor Whittaker. Maybe once I’m a little more sturdy I’ll join you.” 

“I think everyone would like that very much. I certainly would.”

Chapter 17

Summary:

TRIGGER WARNING FOR: War, Bombing, Death, PTSD, Panic Attacks, Medical Stuff, Amnesia, Animal Death.
This Author is not and does not claim to be a medical professional.
These warnings apply for the entirety of the work.

Chapter Text

The dreams always started the same. Bea would be standing in the field, her hair pulled back into a pony tail, her straw hat atop her head.  She would be bathed in the golden sunshine of a late summer afternoon. She was always wearing the same outfit she had been the day of the raid -- her favorite tank top and denim shorts. She would turn to smile at him tenderly, love radiating from her face.  Yoba, she was always so beautiful.  And then the droning would start. Harvey would start running, shouting, waving his arms trying to get her attention. It seemed like she always got farther and farther away while he swam through molasses to get to her. He never did get to her. The plane would crash, sometimes right ontop of her. Sometimes she’d be thrown by the explosion like a rag doll as she tried to run to saftey. Sometimes she was impaled through by debris. Sometimes a body part would land in front of him -- arm, leg, once it was her head.  He could always smell the stench of the wreckage and her blood. The dreams always ended the same. Beatrice Farmer, the love of his life, was dead and he wasn’t able to save her. He’d awaken sobbing, screaming her name, before the apartment would come into view and he’d remember. Bea was fine. She didn’t die. She was with Marnie and Shane, safe and warm. 

Sometimes Pierre or Caroline would come to check on him, but the dreams had been happening with such frequency those late night visits had stopped. He wished more than anything Bea was here to sweep his hair from his forehead and bring him a glass of water. She would hold him tightly to her breast and kiss his crown, humming to him and stroking his hair until he could sleep again. The hole in his heart was all encompassing tonight. 

He missed her. 

 

Harvey decided to take a walk. He always told his patients if they were too anxious to sleep, to try to do something to get rid of some of their excess energy,right? Maybe it was time to take his own advice. He pulled on his jacket and shoes, grabbed his keys, and locked the front doors behind him.

 The moon was shining brightly over the valley, he had no need for a flashlight. The trees rustled in the breeze. The crickets sang the song of early autumn. He found himself walking the south path out of town, towards the forrest. Toward’s the path that led to Marnie’s and home. Could he still call the farm his home? Bea’s home, he decided. He wasn’t sure if there was still a place for him there. The night air was cool on his skin. He stopped outside Marnie’s. The windows were dark. The cattle lowed and the occasional shuffle and coo of a chicken came from the barn. All was peaceful. He lingered a moment longer before continuing to the pond. He sat on the bank, legs outstretched. 



He wasn’t sure how long he had sat unthinking, unmoving, before he heard a voice behind him. 

“Hi, Stranger.” He jumped slightly, but didn’t turn. He knew that voice. 

Bea sat next to him, watching for a moment before staring out at the reflection of the night sky in the water. The circles under his eyes were more prominent, as were the worry lines on his face. She wasn’t sure if it was whatever had brought him here or the mask of night but his eyes reminded her of the dark green sky that appeared before a spring storm. 

“Can’t sleep?”

 Harvey shook his head in response. He couldn’t make the words come out. 

“Me neither. Do you want to talk about whatever’s bothering you?” 

“Imagine having someone’s life completely in your hands, and failing to keep them alive…” he murmured. 

Bea placed her hand over his, squeezing lightly. She wished she could do more to help, that she knew how to take his worries away. She wished she knew what to tell him. She reached out with her casted arm and used her fingers to brush his bangs out of his face. 

 

His brain short circuited for a moment as his breath hitched in his chest, he stared at her wide eyed. She quickly withdrew her hand and began sputtering apologies. She started to stand but he grabbed onto her good hand gently. 

“You did that all the time…before. I missed it. I miss you. I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you off. Please stay.” His face was pleading. This admission broke her heart. She had broken his heart. Bea sat back down, shoulder to shoulder with him. 

“Harvey? Who died?” She stared out over the water so he wouldn’t have to look at her face when he answered. 

“Um….you. In my nightmares. It’s always you.” His voice cracked as he spoke. “I’ve watched you die, over and over again ever since... I can’t stand it.” 

“Oh…” She readjusted her position. “Can I hug you?” He nodded and she wrapped him in her arms. She stroked his hair and rocked him as the floodgates opened. “You didn’t fail. I’m right here, Harvey. It’s okay. I’m alright.” 

“If I had left when the siren went off maybe I could have gotten to you in time and--” He sobbed.

“No. You couldn’t have. You just would have been hurt, too. This isn’t your fault. It’s not your fault. I promise.” 

“If I had taken you to ZuZu maybe--” 

“You did the best you could, Harvey. I’m alive because of you. You did your best.” She kissed his temple tenderly. 

It took him awhile, but he eventually began to settle. She tucked his head under her chin as she rocked him. It left him bent a little awkwardly, but he wasn’t complaining. 

“What else did I used to do that helped you feel better?” 

“Oh, uh…We would lay down and you would hum to me.” He sat up and snuffled, wiping his nose on his sleeve.  Bea laid down on the ground and held her arms out to him. He hesitated for a moment before accepting her invitation and tucking himself against her, his head resting on her chest. She began to hum to him. He propped himself up on his elbow to look at her as he recognized the song.

He began to laugh softly as tears rolled down his face anew. It was their song. She’d never heard it before until he introduced her to his record collection. She had listened to it over and over and over again ever since. She loved that song. She loved when he sang it to her. He laid back down, head on her chest, and was wrapped in her embrace. He began to sing. 

 

Oh my darling, oh my lover

In your heart you would soon discover

Song and laughter ever after

From the dreaming I'd do

If dreams came true

 

She’d remembered. 

And for the first time since the air raid, Dr. Harvey Whittaker had hope.

Chapter 18: Author's Note

Chapter Text

A Note to my Readers:

I decided to remove approximately half the chapters to create a suitable ending for this chapter of Bea and Harvey's story. An ending with hope.

I am the full-time caretaker for my parent. Their care needs became much more involved very suddenly while writing this story, and I just don't see myself coming back to it in the near future.

So, for those of you who would like it until I'm able (or if I'm able) to resume writing this fic, I would like to share how Bea and Harvey's story ends.

Bea never fully regains her memory, but she and Harvey fall in love again. The farm is rebuilt but operates on a smaller scale.

Bea and Harvey marry and eventually have one child -- a daughter, their pride and joy, Eleanore Hope Whittaker.

Bea, Harvey, and Eleanore

 

Thank you for reading. 

Series this work belongs to: