Archive of Our Own ^beta

“Agh, I’m really gonna die.”

Han Yoojin slumped down to the ground after the chains from Sung Hyunjae released him, cursing internally. The man stood in front of him, acting as though nothing had happened. Han Yoojin wiped the remaining tears from his eyes and shakily stood up.

A warm hand held his arm and he soon felt himself being lifted.

‘Damn it, does this Ahjussi have no filter?’

Sung Hyunjae picked him up like a pack of grapes and held him in the cliche princess bridal carry. Han Yoojin thought about making a protest, but he was too tired to give a damn. It didn’t stop him from grumbling though. Sung Hyunjae just smiled.

“It’s the least I can do, for hurting my item earlier.”

“This item is fragile, so maybe you should be more aware that it can break easily when faced with careless treatment.”

“I apologize. I had gotten so used to my cute item acting strong and mistook it for a shield instead of a blanket.”

‘Blanket? What was even going on in this guy’s head-‘

Han Yoojin slightly winced as he felt pressure once again start to press down on him. He really hated feeling so weak. With C-rank fear resistance, he really did feel the overwhelming power from the Sesong guild leader. A bead of sweat trickled down his neck. Sung Hyunjae noticed, and wiped it away. Damn this old man.

“Still, it’s a relief that Yoojin-gun admits he needs some more protection. Self awareness is good for someone who has no sense of fear. Although that doesn’t seem to be the case right now.”

Han Yoojin glared at Sung Hyunjae’s face, ever so perfect with that S-rank sort of magical beautify filter that magically appeared.
Still, he couldn’t argue with him. He did feel scared, although he wasn’t terrified.
The goosebumps felt strange, but he could deal with it. Even if he had C-rank fear resistance, it didn’t mean he would have to suddenly turn into a sobbing mess the second someone a higher rank than him approached. Or rather he wouldn’t let that happen.

They could try to pry all they wanted, Han Yoojin still had five years of experience. He wasn’t a kid. Unlike the person carrying him with the ever so kind smile.

But other than that.. he felt the same. There wouldn’t be any other annoying effects of a lower fear resistance, right?

“Just take me back to the Hayeon guild.”

“We’re going to Sesong guild.”

“Did your ears finally turn deaf from old age? I said-“

Just then, a piercing pain came from his side. Han Yoojin hunched over and gripped his arm, gritting his teeth. He more or less knew what it meant. He looked down at his chest and slightly lifted his shirt. The skin was all purple of bruised. Probably a broken rib. A groan subconsciously made it’s way out his throat when he accidentally brushed the skin.

…Maybe two based on the pain racking up his side up to his back.

“You’re hurt.”

“Yeah no shit.”

“Let me take you to the Sesong guild. We have two A-class healers[1], while Hayeon has none.”

‘…that’s true.’

Still, Han Yoojin didn’t fail to notice the way Sung Hyunjae’s eyes never left his chest. He was staring at the scar just above his heart.

He spit out another curse as another shack of pain rumbled throughout his body. Damn it, he really needed something to hug right now. Maybe Peace, with his soft orange fur… smelling like fresh shampoo…

He really missed his kids. More so even now. Was it because of the lowered fear resistance? Aside from the pain, he felt incredibly tense. Was Yoohyun alright? His mind went back to a few moments ago when he saw the half lizard version of Yoohyun slowly starting to melt while telling him to get away. Melting and slowly sinking to the floor while blood started to pour out and there was so much fire-

“Yoojin-gun.”

Han Yoojin embarrassingly flinched when a hand went on his shoulder. The hand soon pointed to his hands, tightly clenched and now holding..

“Chirpie!?!”

Han Yoojin quickly released his grip and Chirpie looked all squished. It shook around a bit and quickly fluffed back into its regular round shape. In a delirious moment of panic he thought,

‘It looks like a stress ball.’

He quickly scooped up the small puffball bird and rotated it around to make sure it wasn’t hurt. Birdie seemed to notice his distress and nuzzled its head against Han Yoojin.

-chirp!

Han Yoojin gave out a small sigh of relief at the chirping that continued, indicating it was alright.

By this time, Han Yoojin realized the car had already started moving. He looked over to Sung Hyunjae who simply nodded as in acknowledgment. Han Yoojin slumped back in his seat in defeat. He looked out the window of the car while they quietly went to Sesung guild.

‘I should sent a text to Noah, to tell him I’m alright. Tell him to go help out Song Taewon too..’

————-

Han Yoojin waited while the A-rank healer healed him.

He felt his muscles relax when they applied some ointment and gave him a few mana potions. It was orange flavored. Han Yoojin tsked in his mind as he downed the bottle. [2]

When he came out of the treatment room, Sung Hyunjae was waiting for him. Looking at it, the Sesung Guild leader wasn’t in a much better condition. His hair was a bit tousled, and a few pieces of his suit were torn. It didn’t look downright horrible, but Han Yoojin felt the tiniest amount of guilt.

Sung Hyunjae noticed and the sides of his mouth curved up, only slightly.

“Don’t worry, some rubble just happened to get in the way. So don’t cry, dear Han Yoojin-gun.”

“Who said I was worried, crazy ahjussi.”

Even though the wounds had been more or less healed, it still felt a bit sore. Han Yoojin started walking but tumbled, and he felt himself hit something firm. Strong hands embraced him, and Han Yoojin looked up to see Sung Hyunjae smiling down. It was a bit dark, so it almost looked like his eyes were shining gold. His hair looked soft.

‘Damn this attractive S-class bastard.’

Han Yoojin pushed Sung Hyunjae off and took out his phone. He knew Yoohyun was probably still in the dungeon, but maybe.. He pressed call, and a light trill came from his phone. Ten seconds.. 30 seconds… a minute.. Nothing. He was probably sleeping or fighting. Yoohyun was definitely fine. Final thanks [3] hadn’t appeared, so Yoohyun was alive. He was alive.

Han Yoojin felt goosebumps on his arm, but it wasn’t because of Sung Hyunjae.

He felt an arm turn him around, and Sung Hyunjae was looking at him with a neutral face. He hated that look. Calculating, piecing, like he could see his very soul. After a moment, Sung Hyunjae took his wrist and pulled him out of the guild door.

“Let’s go.”

“Huh?”

‘Wait, where were they going? Huh. Why is he opening the car. No no Sung Hyunjae you can’t be seriou-‘

They soon arrived at Sung Hyunjae’s mansion of a house, and Han Yoojin found himself sipping tea while sitting on the disgustingly expensive couch. Sung Hyunjae’s house was like an aquarium, and Han Yoojin found himself looking at the variety of fishes swimming in the big glass container in front of him. The tea was good.

“You should get some rest.”

Han Yoojin craned his neck behind him to see Sung Hyunjae in more casual attire with a cardigan[4] and light brown shirt. His hair was a bit wet, and it wasn’t styled as usual. A soft light from god knows where rested on the crown of his head, making Han Yoojin for a second think he was an angel.

Catching himself, Han Yoojin choked on the air. Sung Hyunjae? An angle? Having a younger Sung Hyunjae with dark hair and working for the government was more likely than that.[5]

“I don’t need to.”

He was actually barely staying awake, but Sung Hyunjae didn’t need to hear that. Well, with the annoying perceptiveness of that guy, it would be fair to say he already knew. Han Yoojin felt a big puffy blanket wrap around him. Soon after, he was scooped up and noticed with horror that he had been wrapped up like a human burrito.

“You-!”

Han Yoojin openly cursed Sung Hyunjae as they made their way up the stairs, but the older man just gave a small chuckle. With a small plop, Han Yoojin found himself sinking into comfortable sheets that slightly smelled of roses. A soft, gentle voice whispered in his ear.

“My room is across this one. If my dear Han Yoojin-gun has a nightmare, he can come over and sleep with me.”

“Get lost you perverted ahjussi. If anyone will have a nightmare it’ll be you, probably something about having a boring birthday.”

“If that happens, I’ll definitely come running over to you, then.”

“I’ll make sure to kick you off the bed.”

“So cold.”

“Then leave me alone and go to your own bed to warm up. You’re dirtying the air.”

Han Yoojin turned away from Sung Hyunjae, silently fuming as he heard another soft chuckle. He didn’t hear any footsteps, but the sound of the door closing notified him that Sung Hyunjae left. Han Yoojin would’ve immediately got up from the bed and returned to the Hayeon guild, but it wasn’t his fault the sheets were really comfortable. The smell of roses was noticeable but not disgustingly sweet. But he really needed to get up.

Just in a minute.. he’d get up…

———————

He was in a dungeon.

Han Yoojin looked around, shivering in the dark. There was no light, and he had to blindly look around. Luckily, the hallway was narrow so he could make his way through by feeling the sides of the wall. All around him, sounds of something scraping and droplets of water could be heard.

It felt like hours, walking through the tunnel. Then, he saw a tiny flicker of light coming from the tunnel. Someone was shouting, but it was distorted and cloudy.

Han Yoojin found himself running to the end of the tunnel, where the light was. For some reason he felt a sort of terrifying foreboding that there was something wrong. He heard his own breath coming out in short breaths, and his legs felt as though they were sinking into the ground. It was as though the dungeon was warning him that he didn’t want to see what was at the end of the tunnel. Still, he kept running and running to the source of the sound. A bright light shone and temporarily blinded him, and when he opened his eyes-

‘I should’ve stayed inside the tunnel.’

Yerim was splayed across the floor, but it wasn’t really Yerim. It wasn’t the lively, cute young girl that he had taken under his wing and promised to protect. Instead, Yerim’s body was torn in half, and her skin was bubbling and burning. It smelled like scorched flesh, and Han Yoojin instantly gagged. He felt his knees drop to the floor, and his mind felt dizzy. Yerim was dead.

He couldn’t bring himself to look up at the body again, and his heart whispered a mantra of the same words.

[Coward. Coward. Coward. Coward.]

He had sworn that he would protect her, but here he was, standing over her dismantled body.

[Useless. Useless. Useless.]

But an invisible force seemed to pick him up. Han Yoojin started walking again, and flinched when he saw another body of someone he loved.

Myeongwoo’s face was held in a mid face of terror, his body impaled by a long spear. Han Yoojin could only stare dumbly at his friend, feeling like the scum of the Earth. He reached out a visibly shaking hand, and gently held Myeongwoo’s face. He closed his mouth and eyes, and by this time Han Yoojin knew he was crying. His throat hurt, and his eyes were blurry from the tears slowly falling down.

[look at what a liar you are.]

Han Yoojin choked on a sob, and looked further down the road.

Kim Seunghan was lying lifelessly on the ground, the remnants of a shield around him and a small fluff of blood. Beside it, was a torn wing. [6]

Noah was in a dragon form, stuck in a position of baring his teeth with a large slash across his stomach.

He looked down at his hands, and saw Peace resting in his arms. But Han Yoojin knew that Peace wasn’t sleeping, from the cold blood that seeped into his clothes as he gently placed the limp body down.

As he walked down, he saw more faces. Moon Hyuna, Kang Souyoung, Riette,[7] and other nameless hunters he had met after and before the regression.

People who wouldn’t have died if he hadn’t been so careless.

[You could’ve saved them, but you were too weak.]

[See what happens when you try to be more than what you really are, Yoojin.]

‘Please, don’t make me see this.’

His baby brother.

Han Yoojin walked over to the body of Han Yoohyun, and it was the same. The same position on the day he couldn’t forget. The same place. The same death. The same helplessness and anger that he felt at himself for being such a poor older brother. Han Yoohyun had two long dragon nails impaled into his back, and his body was hunched over.

Han Yoohyun had died protecting his helpless F-rank brother, Han Yoojin.

-crakhh!

Han Yoojin looked up and saw a fierce dragon looming over. On top of it, a man was furiously hitting it with dark black flames. The man was crying as he piled attack upon attack on the dragon, screaming with all his might.

Han Yoojin tenderly held the body of his younger brother and pulled him close into an embrace. His body had long been cold, but all Han Yoojin could do was shake and bury his head into Han Yoohyun’s limp shoulder.

-Rrrahgh!

Another roar came from the dragon, before it came to a silencing halt. Its body fell down with a loud thud, and he could hear the man who had slain the dragon muttering.

‘Yoohyun… you idiot…’

Han Yoojin knew what would happen next.

‘Don’t leave him here.’

Han Yoojin screamed at the man on top of the dragon, who was now glowing a faint blue.

‘Please don’t leave Yoohyun.”

He screamed at the top of his lungs and gripped his baby brother tighter. His forever twenty five year old brother who died in a dungeon for him.

“You idiot! Damn it!!”

Han Yoojin scrambled to his feet, but didn’t dare let go of Han Yoohyun. But he wouldn’t be able to stop himself unless he let go. He screamed and felt tears furiously streaming down his face. Dirt came up in chunks as he took step after step, but he didn’t seem to be getting any closer.

There was nothing he could do. He had forgotten that as an F-ranker he was nothing without the amazing people around him. Without Yoohyun, Yerim, Myeongwoo, Peace.

He was nobody.

-kcrashhk!

A golden chain flew past Han Yoojin, and wrapped around the young man on top of the dragon.

Han Yoojin stared at the sight of golden sparks coming off with wide eyes. He felt someone grab both of his shoulders and shaking him lightly. There was a smell of blood smeared with the undertone of dirt. His brother was cold he—

“-in-gun”

They were dead because of him even though he-

“-ake up”

Golden eyes and blond-silver hair shone for a moment but he couldn’t see the man’s face and it was cold but the hands on him were warm and he didn’t mean to he just-

“Han Yoojin.”

Han Yoojin woke in a cold sweat, blinking disorientedly around the room. It was still dark, but there was a faint lamp beside him that was lit up. He saw golden eyes looking down at him, and two hands shaking his shoulders gently. The shaking stopped once he opened his eyes, and there was a small silence.

“..Sung Hyun..jae?”

He wanted to crawl under the covers hearing his small voice crack slightly. He knew he was acting like this because of the fear resistance. Small shivers crept up his back, and he hated how he must’ve looked in Sung Hyunjae’s eyes. Out of everyone, it just had to be that guy? What luck.

Sung Hyunjae didn’t speak, so Han Yoojin tried to save what dignity he had left.

“What, is our famous Sesong Guild leader scared of the dark?”

His voice still felt weak, but Han Yoojin tried his best to make it seem stable. Sung Hyunjae annoyingly stayed quiet, only staring at Han Yoojin with an expression that Han Yoojin didn’t want to describe.

“It’s alright, Sung Hyunjae-ssi, I can assure you that no monsters will be in your closet, except your monster of an ego-“

“You didn’t tell me you really had nightmares.”

Shit, fuck, dammit

“I didn’t have a nightmare.”

Han Yoojin flinched when a hand came to settle on his neck, lightly brushing the collarbone slick with sweat. The other hand rested on his forehead, swiping his bangs to the left.

“My item should talk to someone, if his dreams bother him this much.”

“No, I—it’s not like this usually.”

Sung Hyunjae slightly tilted his head, inquiring him to go on. Han Yoojin damned himself internally. How was he supposed to bullcrap his way out of this one, he wondered.

“I.. it’s just been a long day, so please leave. I’m fine.”

He knew he wasn’t. He could still smell the blood as if he was still in the dungeon. The scent of roses made him want to throw up.

Han Yoojin had been keeping his head down during the conversation, fidgeting with his hands. He made the mistake of looking up and-

‘Don’t look at me like that.’

“Like what?”

Han Yoojin realized he said his thoughts aloud.

“Like you..”

‘Like you care.’

He didn’t want to say it to Sung Hyunjae’s face. Not here. Not today. Maybe when he was dead.

‘I don’t want to have your corpse in my dreams too.’

Han Yoojin decided to stay silent, and Sung Hyunjae continued to look at him. He was on the side of the bed, and it dipped slightly where he sat.

The atmosphere was nauseating.

A silence that felt like hours dominated the room, though Han Yoojin knew it was probably less than 30 seconds.

A soft, gentle voice was heard that made Han Yoojin want to scream and cry at the source.

“May I hug you?”

Han Yoojin clenched his fists harder into the sheets. Birdie was beside him, chirping softly. He knew it would be a trick, to let down his defenses. To let Sung Hyunjae get a closer look at the crystal embedded in him, to-

“Yoojin.”

‘Stop’

“Don’t think too hard about it.”

‘Stop being like this’

“You don’t need to do it all on your own.”

Han Yoojin stopped when he felt a warm hand cover his own. Sung Hyunjae carefully pried away the hands, and there was a little blood. He had made indents in his hand from his nails.

“Please, Yoojin.”

Han Yoojin wanted to slap his face right then and there, for acting so strange. This wasn’t Sung Hyunjae, was he still dreaming?

He felt a hand grab just above his waist and another one take his shoulder. Slowly, as if he was treating a wounded animal, Sung Hyunjae turned Han Yoojin toward him and pulled him close in an embrace.

If you had told Han Yoojin he’d be embracing the Sesung Guild Leader five years ago, he would have openly laughed in your face and walked away.

Han Yoojin wanted to swear. He should find a potion later to erase this memory, if it existed.

A hand brushed his cheek, and he looked up at the damn bastard who he desperately wanted to punch.

“This is the second time you’ve cried in front of me.”

“Don’t get used to it.”

Sung Hyunjae wiped another tear, which made Han Yoojin embarrassingly start to cry more. He buried his face into the Sesong guild leader’s shoulder, and just felt the hands around him tighten.

He bit his lips to prevent any annoying sounds from coming out, but he knew he was slightly trembling. At one point Sung Hyunjae had asked if he wanted to call Yoohyun, but Han Yoojin just shook his head.

He was tired, and didn’t want anyone else to see him like this. He had preferred it if no one had seen him like this, but it seems life had something against him and was set on putting him into a different kind of damn genre.

He swore he’d get back at this Ahjussi later, who was patting his back. It was a constant reminder that someone was here, and he slowly felt his eyes start to droop.

‘Shouldn’t fall asleep here.’

The patting on his back stopped, and soon a hand was on his head, softly running through his hair. As if openly inviting him to just relax, and take his time.

Scared, disoriented, and exhausted from grief of another life, who was he to refuse?

Han Yoojin felt his eyes close.

“Goodnight, Han Yoojin.”

———

Sung Hyunjae looked at Han Yoojin, quietly sleeping on the bed. He’d decided to just stay in the same room, as it'd probably be hard to get him to sleep again if he awoke.

It was interesting.

Sung Hyunjae had gone up the stairs when he had heard someone shouting, and was surprised to see Han Yoojin in the bed, pale and shaking. Tears were falling down his face and he was muttering nothings.

It would’ve been a great time to look at the stone on his heart, to see what the anomaly Han Yoojin was hiding from the world.

In thought, Sung Hyunjae turned his head back and saw Han Yoojin softly sobbing, clutching the blankets in his hand until his knuckles turned white.

“M’ sor..ry…”

Sung Hyunjae woke him up.

“Goodnight, Han Yoojin.”

The man was softly snoring in Sung Hunjae’s arms. Sung Hyunjae was originally patting his back, but now he was stroking his hair. It was a bit damp from sweat, but it was soft. He looked down at the F-rank in his hands. Weak. Fragile. Someone he would’ve never even glanced at.

But he did. And he had a slight feeling of why, but he wasn’t completely sure.

A final tear slowly slipped out of Han Yoojin’s eye, slowly trailing down his cheek. Sung Hyunjae wiped it away, and pressed a soft kiss on Han Yoojin’s forehead.