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Chapter Text

Beautiful.

The first word that Nunew thought of when he laid his eyes on the place where he will spend one year of freedom, no responsibilities to think of, no one to tell him what he should do or not, he’s gonna be free of any shackles that he had back when he was in Thailand.

Nunew Chawarin Perdpiriyawong, the youngest child in their family. An excellent student, nice, kind-hearted, friends with everyone, talented, he sings and dances well, he knows how to play various instruments, guitar, piano, drums, violin and even traditional thai musical instruments.

Recently, he graduated with Latin Honors with a degree of Bachelor of Science in Business Administration. He even graduated a year ahead of his friends of the same age.

Their family is rich, the Perdpiriyawongs is the owner of the biggest conglomerate in Thailand.

Most people would think that he has the perfect life, their family is rich, he is smart and talented plus he has good looks.

But is he happy? Are those things what he really needs to live a happy life, a life where he can be who he really is?

With this kind of life, there are a lot of things you have to sacrifice, you have to always look perfect or else those people who want to be in your position will use this against you and your family.

“Dad! You just can’t marry me off to someone I don’t know and I just graduated!”

“You can get to know her while preparing for the wedding.”

“Mom, please.” Nunew looks at his mom with pleading eyes but the latter just avoids his gaze and Nunew knows there’s no other way out.

It’s hard to change his dad’s mind when he has set things in his mind.

“I.. I haven’t even.. I want to live a hap-- I.. I wanna pursue arts, you promised me that if I graduated with Latin Honors you will let me take an art course.”

“You graduated with Latin Honors but you’re not the top of your class.”

He already anticipated this but why does it hurt more hearing it, he is used to this, his dad comparing him to everyone because he is never good enough.

“I told you to focus on your studies like your brother did. But all you did was that piece of trash that you called an art.”

Drawing is his way to escape reality. The only thing he can do when everything is too much.

Nunew took a deep breath to calm himself down, he will never let himself cry in front of them, he will never let them see that he is weak. He will never let his dad humiliate him more.

“Oh? Why can’t you talk?” His dad asked in a mocking way.

“Since you just graduated I will let you do whatever it is that you want in a year and after that you will proceed with the wedding, no more objections.”

Nunew remained silent.

“You hear me? I am fucking talking to you so answer me.”

“Yes, dad.”

And that is the reason why he is in Malta right now. He will try to live his life to the fullest in the 365 days that he has and do whatever his dad wants for the rest of his life.

This is his first time here in Malta, he has always wanted to visit this country that’s why he even brought a place for himself way ahead of the incident since he really planned to travel here.

Nunew is also a famous artist under the pseudonym of ‘maocaron’. He has sold a lot of his artworks with the help of his friends. He is really talented and he loves art more than anyone probably does.

“Good afternoon! Welcome to You Smile, I Smile Café!”

Nunew is welcomed by a handsome man, with sparkling eyes, long lashes, beautiful lips, thick brows, pointed nose, broad shoulders and those biceps. The man is wearing a fitted white shirt? He is not sure if it is really fitted or the man’s physique is just too big. Yes, he’s also wearing a blue apron with a husky on the sea drawing on it’s pocket.

The man snapped his fingers in front of him, he is chuckling, his nose scrunching and Nunew just wants to bask in his presence, because the man is so gorgeous he can’t help but stare at him.

“Hi? Hello? Are you okay?”

“Uh.. oh.. yes, I just momentarily spaced out.” Nunew is blushing trying to find the right words to say.

“Hmmm, that’s good I thought I had to call the ambulance since you aren’t really blinking and you are just looking at me.”

“Sorry, did I make you uncomfortable?”

“No, don’t worry, I encounter a lot of people since you might not know but our café is kinda famous around here.”

“Yes, I know! I have researched a lot about restaurants and coffee shops here since I’ll be staying here for a while.”

“Oh? You’re a tourist! So far, what do you think about this place?”

“It’s even more beautiful in person! Pictures don't do it’s beauty justice. I fell in love with Malta the moment I saw it in a magazine and then I started researching.”

“Yeah, this is a really beautiful country. That’s why I left my country to push my luck here and it paid off, I guess.”

“Woah, that’s so bold of you.”

Before the man could say something again, someone called him, interrupting their conversation.

“ZEE! Why is the door broken again! I swear to God your clumsiness is the reason why you are single!”

“How dare you say it to me Max! I thought we were friends, bros before boys right!”

“Shut up and help me fix this!”

“Just call Net for help, I will probably break that again if I help you.”

Nunew was just listening to their bickering and he probably let out a loud chuckle that made the man look at him, okay, he is not just the man now, he knows his name now, Zee. A beautiful name fitting the gorgeous man.

“Sorry for that, Max is probably just frustrated since this is the third time this week that I broke the door. But, in my defense, I already told them to change it but they won’t listen to me.”

“P’Zee have you asked the customer what he wants to order?” Another gorgeous person arrived, but this man is pretty. If you probably looked for the word pretty, his picture will be the first to pop out.

“OH! Right! I forgot, I became too excited talking to you.”

“No, it’s okay, I enjoy talking to you.”

“Yeah, so what do you want to order?”

“One caramel frappuccino, please.”

“Is that all?”

He nodded as an answer and paid for his drink.

“Here you go, and here are some macarons, this is not yet for sale but we are still trying to find the perfect taste for it. Please, give me feedback about its taste.”

“Yeah sure, I am an expert in eating macaron, this is my favorite food so I will give an honest review about it.”

“Yay! Thank you!”

“I will come back tomorrow, khob khun krub!”

“Oiiii, you are also a thai?”

“Chai krub, I noticed the other guy calling you Phi.”

“Oh-ho! It was nice meeting another person from Thailand.”

“Nice to meet you too P’Zee.”

“Nice to meet you too, nong?”

“Nunew.”

“Nice to meet you too Nong Nunew, narak mak.”

The younger blushed and bowed to the other before leaving the café with a wide smile, his coffee and a box of macarons.

Chapter Text

Unexpectedly.

The first day of his stay in Malta progressed much better than he expected. The box of macarons is lying on the kitchen counter of his apartment, it’s just the box because he already consumed the contents of it.

To say that it was delicious was an understatement, it tastes heavenly and he will make sure that Zee will know it.

Thinking of the older man has him blushing, he has never felt that comfortable with a person he just met but there is something about him that makes him feel so good.

“Nunew! Get yourself together! You’ll just stay here for a year.”

And all the happiness he has felt this day vanished when he remembered that this is just temporary.

It will be too hard if he gets attached to someone, but it will be harder if he falls in love with someone knowing that he will need to leave them.

But there is a voice whispering in his head that he only has less than a year to do everything that he wants, what’s wrong with trying to experience what it really feels like to fall in love.

He has always wondered what it is like to fall in love, he has read a lot of books and from what he has read they have always described that falling in love is one of the most wonderful feelings that you will experience.

Despite having a family like he has, Nunew grew up to be a person who has dreamt about finding the perfect match, the person that will make his world spin, will make his heart pound, will make his head dizzy, maybe it’s because he was raised by his grandmother who told her how amazing it is to fall in love and be loved back by that person.

“Let’s just see how things will go, it’s not like I’m expecting him to like me too.”

“WHAAAAT oH my God, noooo, I don’t like him! Like me too? Chawarin get a grip of yourself! You just met the man today!”

With the thoughts of a certain man who works at a coffee shop, maybe the most gorgeous and handsome man he has met, he drifted off to dreamland.

--

Woken up by the sunlight peeking through the blinds, Nunew woke up but was startled by the sound of his phone ringing.

“Alaiwa? Who is calling this early morning?” Unplugging his phone from the outlet to see who is calling him this early.

“Oh shit it’s Yim, I forgot to call him yesterday and my battery died, for sure he is mad, to whoever God is out there, please help me.”

“NUNEW CHAWARIN PERDPIRIYAWONG!”

It’s a good thing that he decided to put his phone on loudspeaker rather than putting it on his ears, he will surely lose his hearing ability with how loud Yim screamed.

“Hehe, hi Yim.”

“Don’t ‘hi’ me, Nunew, I swear to God, I was this close to booking a flight to go there, you promised me that you will call once you arrived there, NOT EVEN A TEXT! I AM SO WORRIED ABOUT YOU!”

“I’m sorry bestie, I literally forgot about everything because Malta is much much more beautiful than what I have imagined and my phone died, I am so sorry Yim, forgive me naaaaa~”

“Oiiii, you are not playing fair New!” Even without seeing him, Nunew can already imagine the other doing his signature pout.

“Yim, my best friend, my favorite person in the whole wide world, please forgive me naaaa~ okay?”

“Hmp, okay. Don’t do that again, if Tutor is not here I would’ve really booked a flight, anyways how is Malta? How’s your first day? How about the place that you bought? Are the people there nice? How about the food? How--”

“Yim, let me answer one question at a time, as what I just said Malta exceeded my expectations, it’s such a beautiful place, I really like it here. My first day here? Well, I met--”

“YOU ALREADY MET SOMEONE?”

“Let me finish speaking first, Yim calm down!”

“Okay okay, I’m zipping my mouth now.”

“Good. I met some Thais here, they run a coffee shop near my place, they are nice people. About my place, it’s nice, please thank Tutor for helping me purchase this, just the perfect place to spend my last year. I haven’t really met a lot of people but I guess most of them are nice people. And you know what Yim?”

“What is it?”

“The food here is just so good, I love it already.”

“Aowww, I wanna visit you already. I’m not used to not having you around, I miss you my little meow.”

“I miss you too, my pouty baby. It’s just been a day, you even went to the airport with me.”

“I know, but I am so used to your presence, it kinda feels empty without you.”

“Spend more time with your boyfriend! He’s gonna complain to me again that you don’t spend time with him that much, you know how clingy he is.”

“Fineeee, I will! But you better update me everyday, okay?”

“Yes, young master.”

“You calling yourself?”

“Ugh, don’t remind me.”

“Okay, I have to go now, my clingy boyfriend is already calling me.”

“Yeah sure, bye Yim, love you!”

“Love you too New, byeee!”

Staring at his phone, he just realized how he’s spent almost all of his free time with Yim, they have been inseparable since they were in elementary school, they spent more than half of their lives with each other. This will be the first time that they’ll be apart from each other and they are even miles away.

After zoning out for quite some time, he decided to finally start his day and explore the wonders of Malta.

--

“P’Zee your neck will definitely be as long as a giraffe’s if you won’t stop craning your head every 10 seconds.”

“Huh? I’m not doing that James.”

“Zee, you’ve been craning your head since we opened the cafe as if you are waiting for someone.”

“P’Max is right, are you perhaps waiting for that guy that you gave a box of macarons?”

“Shut up Net!”

“What is happening, what did I miss yesterday?” Max looks at the three of them, confusion painted all over his face.

“It’s nothing, don’t mind them. Let’s get back to work! I’m not paying you to gossip about me.”

Before they can even banter with Zee, customers start pouring in, it’s a busy hour for their shop, since there’s a lot of nearby establishments around them, it’s lunch time and it’s even busier than the morning rush.

There’s more customers than they expected and Zee hasn’t eaten anything yet. Just as he was about to take his lunch break someone called him.

“P’Zee!” He knows that voice, even if he only talked to him for a few minutes.

“Nong Nunew! Welcome to You Smile, I Smile Café again!”

“Phi? I thought you’re gonna take your lunch break now?” Net asked as the other just finished his break and was about to take Zee’s position at the counter.

“Aowww Phi, you haven’t eaten yet? It’s already 2:30 pm.”

“Yeah, the lunch rush just finished and I had them eat first before me.”

“Hmmm, okay. You can eat now P’Zee, I was just gonna tell you my feedback about the macarons that you gave me.”

“Or, you can accompany me while having lunch and tell me about your feedback, unless you have something to do, which I will totally understand as you said you just arrived here in Malta, yeah I will totally get it.”

Zee scratched his neck, and when he realized what he just said his eyes opened wide, looking at Nunew’s direction.

“I-- I’m sorry, we just met yesterday and I’m already-- uhm I-- I’m really sorry.” He starts mumbling and the younger is looking at him trying to contain his laugh.

“P’Zee.”

“Krub?”

“Let’s eat your lunch now.” The younger said with a smile on his lips.

Zee sighed and smiled back.

“Okay, just sit on that table while I go and get my lunch.”

Nunew nodded before heading to the table where Zee pointed at.

Maybe things have been moving too fast but Nunew just wants to follow what his heart wants.

Chapter Text

Nervous.

That is what Nunew feels right now as he waits for Zee in the table where the older has pointed.

He didn’t know where he got his confidence a while ago, it felt like his mouth moved on its own and vomited those words, words that he was sure his heart wanted to say.

If only his heart can speak.

If only then, he will not be in this situation, but he won’t probably meet Zee. There is a negative and positive effect. And Nunew doesn’t really know how to feel about it.

“Hi, did I make you wait too long?”

“No Phi, it’s okay.”

“You were frowning so I thought you got mad that it took too long.”

“Nah Phi, I’m just thinking about something.”

Zee smiled at him before taking a seat and his heart did a somersault with just that one smile.

“Here Nong, I got you some cookies and a drink, it would look bad if I’m the only one eating.”

“So, if it won’t look bad you won’t offer me anything?” Nunew said in a teasing voice.

“Aowww, how did you know, I got busted.”

Nunew giggled, covering his mouth with his hands.

“Phi, is funny.”

“Of course I am, I’m not just funny you know, I am also handsome, good at baking--”

“Ayeee Phi, you shouldn’t be saying that yourself!”

“Why Nong? A lot of people told me that already that I started believing them. Do you think I’m not handsome?”

Zee was really curious with how the younger sees him, he is confident with how he looks but he doesn’t know why he feels the need to hear how Nunew thinks of him.

“Hmmm, let me think for a while.” Nunew acted like he was thinking, putting his finger on the side of his head.

“Aowww Nong! Why do you still need to think, I'm hurt now.” Zee acted like he was hurting holding the part of his shirt which is close to his heart.

“P’Zee you are really funny, please stop.” The younger one is almost crying with how much he is laughing.

“Oh ho Nong, don’t cry, people might think that I am a bad guy making you cry.”

“Nah Phi, you are too handsome for people to think that way.” Nunew winked at him and Zee almost died on his chair.

It took a few seconds for the older to compose himself and not expose that he almost died after the younger winked at him.

“You already admitted that I am handsome, I quote ‘too handsome’ thank you for that confirmation.”

“Well, my grandma raised me to be an honest person.”

“My papa raised me to be a handsome person.”

“Phi, your confidence is so high.”

“I’m not usually like this, not with people I just met.”

That’s true, Zee is only like this to his closest friends, but with someone he just met? No. It’s also unusual that he is even talking so freely and eating with a person that he just met yesterday.

“Oh?”

“Yeah, I even find it hard to man the counter of our café, most of the time it was James or Net who is in charge of that place.”

“But yesterday you were there Phi.”

“When they are on break, I have no choice but to do it.” Zee sighs dramatically.

Nunew rolled his eyes playfully, making Zee laugh loudly. The action caused a few heads to look in their direction and Zee apologized to everyone while Nunew is trying his best not to laugh out loud as well.

“What are you laughing at Nong? Half of it was your fault for making me laugh.”

“I-- Okay, I admit it was partly my fault. But P’Zee are you forgetting something?”

“Huh?”

“We are here so I can accompany you to eat.”

“Oh right, I forgot about my late lunch.”

Zee started eating his food but not without telling the younger that he should eat the cookies that he brought. He actually baked it specially for the younger, the reason? He just wants to give something in case this ‘nong’ comes back.

On the counter his employees Net and James are watching their interactions with each other.

“Uh-- I haven’t seen P’Zee be comfortable with someone that he just met, what do you think P’Net?”

“Yeah, I agree. We have been with him since high school and he has never looked that way.”

“Feels like that kid brings something out of our boss.”

“Like I do to you?”

James rolled his eyes at Net before hitting him lightly on the arms.

“Shut up P’Net, that’s not true.”

“Then why are you blushing?”

“I am not! It’s just hot in here.”

“Hmmm? I’ll just pretend that the AC in our café is not doing its job properly.”

“Whatever P’Net, I’m gonna go to the back to fix the new deliveries. Bye.”

Net just grins while looking at James walking away from him.

“Really cute.”

--

Comfortable silence. That’s what they have right now. Zee is focusing on eating his lunch while Nunew is savoring the taste of the cookies that he is eating.

Aside from the occasional eye contact they haven’t really said much.

“P’Zee.”

“Hmmm?”

“About the macarons yesterday.”

“What about it Nong?”

“I haven’t eaten a macaron that is so delicious, like delicious is even an understatement to the taste of it, it feels heavenly? Like, I can die while eating that macaron and I would die happily.” Nunew’s eyes are sparkling as he recalls the taste of the macaron.

For someone who has tasted tons of macarons from different places, the one that he ate yesterday is definitely the best, he had this favorite macaron when he was in Thailand. It was made by his grandmother but this one that Zee gave him? It’s so so good that he will probably have to say sorry to his grandma that it is now his favorite macaron instead of hers.

“Don’t flatter me too much Nong.”

“Aow, I’m not doing that Phi but it is really good, even better than my grandma’s but don’t let her hear it, I would probably be banned from eating all her foods.”

“Ooops, I secretly recorded it.”

“P’Zeeeee~” Nunew whined and pouted his lips.

“Just kidding Nong~”

“Phi keeps on teasing me, I’m gonna leave now.”

“It’s okay, people leave me anyway.”

Nunew felt that it was somehow not a joke and it was something that he shouldn’t have said to the older. He felt guilty saying it but he didn’t know about it but still he feels guilty.

“Sorry Phi.”

“Huh? Why are you saying sorry?”

“Uh-- I mean-- I maybe said something?”

“Don’t take my words seriously, I’m just joking.” Zee gave a reassuring smile.

“Okay Phi.”

“Really, there’s nothing to be sorry for, okay Nong?”

Nunew nodded as an answer, the two continued talking about the most random things, like Nunew’s cat named Jaojuly, the reason why he named it July (it’s because the cat is born on the month of July and the cat shares the same birthday as him) Zee’s dogs that he hasn’t seen for a year named after thai foods, prik num and fakthong, and just literally everything that they can think of.

Without even noticing it, Zee’s supposed to be an hour late lunch break turned into four hours and it’s already almost seven pm.

“P’Zee! It’s almost seven pm now, aren’t you supposed to just eat your lunch?”

“Oh shit, why didn’t they call me? I’ll go and check, don’t go yet nong, I owe you dinner since I kept you here instead of you going around the city.”

“Noooo, it’s okay P’Zee, no need to.”

“But I really do feel bad that you didn’t have time to explore the city because I talked too much.”

“Then, let’s just go to the night market?”

“Okay, wait for me here?”

“Sure Phi, take your time.”

“See you later Nong!”

Nunew gave him a smile and waved goodbye, after seeing Zee enter the employees’ lounge he decided to check his phone to visit his blog and he saw that someone has left a message asking how much is one of his works, he replied and texted Yim about it as his best friend is the one handling the negotiations about it.

Then, he decided to check his social media accounts, which he regretted later as he saw that his father already announced about the wedding, it’s just been two days since he left and he really can’t wait for that damn wedding that he already told the media.

He sighed and closed his eyes, trying to calm himself down.

Looking outside the window, he thought that he will make this one year the best and most memorable time for him, at least he has something to look back to when things get hard.

Chapter Text

Knocking over the stacks of cups.

A regular occurrence that everyone got used to but still made them sigh.

“P’Zee you forgot about working and now you are causing trouble here in the lounge.”

“Ayeee Net! Why didn’t you call me to work?”

“What do you mean we didn’t? We called you but you didn’t even budge.”

Exhibit A

“P’Zee! It’s time to go back to work now.”

“Give me a few more minutes, I’ll come back myself.”

Exhibit B

“P’Zee! P’Zee! P’Zee!” Net keeps on calling Zee to remind him again. But when a customer comes in, the younger just has to give up on calling his boss and serve the customer.

“Uhm-- I’d like to order?”

Exhibit C

“P’Zee!” Net called.

“P’Zee!” James called.

“Aye Zee Pruk!” Max called.

But the man probably just hears the nong in front of him. It feels like they are in their own world. They don’t care about anything or anyone around them, like they are the only people who exist.

“You know what P’Max, I’m so done calling him, he doesn’t hear us at this point.”

“Just let him be, you know after what happened before, Zee deserves to find someone that will make him happy.”

“I just don’t want him to get hurt P’Max, what he has experienced before-- I don’t wanna talk about it anymore.” James sighed and looked away from Zee.

“I understand James, we all feel the same way. Let’s just see first okay?”

“Yeah P’Max.”

“So yeah, we called you a lot of times but the only person that you hear is that Nong.” Net rolled his eyes and shook his head.

“I-”

“We don’t wanna hear what you want to say P’Zee, just go and do whatever you want to do, don’t worry about the café, we got it.”

“Hehe, thank you James, I’ll treat you to dinner tomorrow!”

“Oh-ho, you said it P’Zee no backing out.”

“Yeah yeah Net, gotta go now. See you tomorrow my buddies.” Zee gathered his things and went on his way but not without blowing air kisses to his friends that made them scowl at him.

“Bye bye, don’t miss me too much.”

“AS IF! JUST GO ON YOUR DATE!”

“It’s not a date Max! Not yet.” He whispered the last two words, only audible to himself.

--

“Nong, are you okay?” The older asked as he approached the younger who looked like he was worried about something.

“Do you want to go home already? We can just eat out next time.”

“I’m okay P’Zee don’t worry, let’s go now.” Nunew offered a smile to reassure the older.

“He’s such a nice person, we just met yesterday and he is already this concerned to me, my plan of not getting attached to someone here is slowly fading because of him.”

As the two walk towards their destination, Nunew can’t help but think of how someone he just met can make him feel so comfortable, for him to be able to make him talk about the most random things about his life.

Even with his best friend Yim, it took him a while to be able to share the things that he has shared with Zee, even if they were friends since they were kids.

Nunew didn’t notice that as he wonders about how he feels with Zee, he has gone quiet making the other concern about him.

“Nunew? Are you sure you’re okay, you really don’t have to come if you are not okay, we can just reschedule this if you want.”

Zee looks so concerned with the younger, a look that no one has ever given him that the younger feels a surge of emotion, emotions that he hasn’t felt before, it’s all new to him and he doesn’t know how to handle all of it.

So, without thinking he hugged the older.

Stunned for a few seconds, but the older hugged back and started softly rubbing his back.

“Nu? Are you okay? Is there a problem?” Zee didn’t even notice the slip of his tongue, calling the younger by a nickname.

“Nah, I’m probably just missing my grandma, my friends and my cat July.”

“Sure? You still want to visit the night market?”

“Actually Phi, can we just go somewhere quiet? I think I need to breathe for a while.”

“Hmmm, okay. I know a park near here. You’re not allergic to flowers right?”

“No, I’m not.”

Nunew reluctantly let go of Zee but the latter held his hand, even caressing it to comfort him.

They walked in a comfortable silence with the older looking at Nunew from time to time to check on him.

“He is so bad for my heart, but this feels so good, he makes me feel a lot of emotions that I haven’t experienced before.”

“We’re here Nunew.”

The younger was so absorbed in his own world that he didn’t even notice that they finally arrived.

The moment he looked around his eyes and mouth opened wide.

It’s such a beautiful place.

Different kinds of flowers surround the place and the lights add to the ambience of the place.

“Oh my god Phi, this is such a beautiful place.”

“Yeah, but this is actually much more beautiful with the natural light, I’ll bring you here again next time.”

“I would love to see it in daylight P’Zee!”

The older looked at him and saw the wide smile on Nunew’s face. He felt relieved now that the younger had been smiling instead of frowning. He wanted to know what the other was thinking and what happened that made his mood change but decided to just let it go.

They’ve just met each other yesterday, so he understands that.

“P’Zee, thank you for bringing me here.”

“No problem, you see, this place is one of my favorites here, whenever I feel too much I come here and I’m instantly relieved, this is a healing place for me.”

“I understand why you will feel at ease at this place, it’s like a different world if you enter here.”

“Hmmm, I accidentally stumbled upon this place one night, I’m so overwhelmed that night that I ran away from everything. And when I found this place, it felt like everything that I’ve felt just vanished. What if this is a place with magic and there are fairies around here helping people, what do you think Nong?”

Nunew cannot help but giggle at what Zee said.

“P’Zee! You believe in fairies?”

“Maybe? There’s a chance that they really do exist, but most especially I believe in angels.”

“Why?”

“There’s an angel beside me, how can I not believe?”

With the implication of what Zee said, Nunew’s face heats up and he tries to hide his face with the hoodie that he is wearing.

On the other hand Zee is smiling at how flustered the younger is, he looks so adorable pulling the strings of his hoodie and hiding his face inside.

“Why are you hiding, did I discover your secret? Don’t worry I won’t tell anyone about it, not even my best friends.”

“P’Zee stop it, I’m not an angel.”

“Aowww, I really believe that you are one, you can just tell me the truth and I promise I will keep it to myself.”

“You’re so funny Hia, I cannot believe you.”

“Hia?”

“Oi, did I just say that?” Nunew’s eyes widened, he’s shocked that he has called someone Hia and that someone is Zee.

“Did you know that I have Chinese descent?”

“You have? I learned Chinese as an extra subject when I was in high school.”

“Yeah, my mother is Chinese.”

“So can I call you Hia?”

Nunew finally removed the hoodie in his head and looked up at Zee, his eyes sparkling while waiting for the older to answer him.

“In one condition.”

“What is it?”

“I get to call you Nu.”

Nunew nods aggressively. He has always wanted to call someone Hia, but no one seems to be deserving in his opinion to be called that. But with Zee he felt like the older deserves to be called in a special and different way that he addresses other people.

“Okay, Hia!”

“Why do you seem so happy?”

“Hmmm, I’ve wanted to call someone Hia but I can’t find someone that is deserving to be called that term by me.”

“And I deserve it? What are the qualifications for that?”

“Yes Hia, I don’t know, I think just when I feel that person deserves it, and I feel that way with you.”

Nunew smiles for the hundredth time today but Zee still feels at awe whenever he sees the younger smiling.

For him, Nunew is the type of person who is suited to smile, the type of person you will say that you wanna protect their smile because it’s like a treasure.

It’s a precious thing that you don’t wanna lose and just want to keep forever.

“Hia, I’m hungry now.”

“What do you wanna eat?”

“Hia, is there any McDonald’s near here?”

“You are one lucky person because the McDonald’s is just a five minute walk from here.”

The younger cheered and pulled the older to the exit, Zee chuckles at how Nunew brightens up with the thought of eating, the kid surely loves to eat.

Chapter Text

It’s been two months since Nunew arrived in Malta. A day won’t pass without him visiting the You Smile I Smile Café, maybe because their pastries are so good and he is known for loving sweets. Or the gorgeous man he met during his first day here.

Who knows? Maybe it’s both of those things.

“P’James good morning!”

“Good morning Nunew! You want coffee?”

“Hmmm, I’m in the mood for hot chocolate, I’ll order hot chocolate Phi.”

“Okay, I’ll bring it to you.”

“Thank you P’James!”

Nunew proceeded to his usual spot, after sitting he started taking out his sketchbook and other materials that he will need.

“Oh? You are already here, Nu.” Zee greeted, who just came back from outside after checking their deliveries.

“Woke up early because my grandmother called me so early, she forgot that we are in different time zones now.”

“Are you drawing today?”

“Yes Hia, I miss drawing. It’s like there’s something missing.”

“Okay, just ask any of us if you want to eat or drink something or if you need anything just tell me.”

“Krub Hia.”

Zee ruffles his hair and hugs him briefly before going back to work.

The younger stares at Zee doing his work, unconsciously smiling. He wonders how the other looks so good while brewing coffee, like isn’t it illegal to be looking like that.

It took a few attempts before Nunew finally was able to take his eyes off Zee.

He picks up his pencil and sketchbook and starts drawing.

It’s not like he has planned what to draw but somehow his mind and hands just started drawing the older man.

Starting with his eyes. Nunew has always liked the older’s eyes. It feels like when he looks at them, they just captivate you and you will feel a pull.

There’s a saying that eyes can’t lie, if you want to know how someone feels look into their eyes.

Most of the time it’s true but Nunew wonders why he can’t find a single emotion in his father’s eyes when the man is looking at him. Back when he was younger he remembers that those eyes used to look at him with so much fondness.

What happened? What has changed? He wants his father back, the one that will smile and look at him fondly.

Nunew stops drawing, rubbing his eyes to stop the tears from falling.

He is just drawing but why does he have to remember his father? The person who made him feel worthless no matter what he does, the one who never appreciates him, the one who gets mad at him at everything that he does.

All the happy memories that he has with the man were replaced by things he doesn’t want to remember anymore.

“Nu? Nu? Nu?”

Zee sees that the younger is spacing out so he goes to check on him. But the other is not budging at all. So he softly touched his hand and he finally got his attention.

“Hia? What is it?”

“You are spacing out Nu, I saw you then decided to check on you.”

“Oh? I didn’t notice.”

“Are you okay? Do you want to stay in my office? You said you woke up early, maybe you need to sleep some more?”

Nunew is touched by how the older is so concerned for him. He has been taking care of him ever since they met each other. He never fails to make him feel safe. Nunew’s own safe place.

“Maybe Hia.”

“Come, I’ll bring you to my office. James, can you please look after Nunew’s things, I’ll get it later.”

“Hia, it’s okay I can do it myself.”

Zee raises his eyebrows at him, and if Nunew is not a sucker for that gesture he will continue what he’s gonna do, but he is a goner so he just surrenders and Zee smiles at him before holding his hand and pulling him to the direction of his office.

James just shakes his head by now they are just used to things like this happening.

“Where is Zee?”

“He’s at his office P’Max, do you need him for something?”

“Someone is here looking for him.”

“Don’t tell me it’s his siblings.”

“I hate to tell you this, but it is indeed his siblings.”

James sighed, why are they here again, they don’t want Zee to interact with them anymore. They only bring trouble and mess. Nothing but bad things.

“Can’t we just tell them that P’Zee is not here?”

“I don’t know, you know how they can get, I don’t want them to make a mess here like what they did last year.”

“I’ll tell P’Zee first, Nunew is with him.”

Max nods and James walks hurriedly to Zee’s office.

“Here’s a blanket Nu, just sleep some more okay?” Nunew nods and smiles at Zee.

“Do you want me to turn off the light?”

“Yes Hia, I can’t sleep with open lights.”

“Okay, don’t worry about your things I’ll get it for you and bring it here.”

“Thank you Hia.”

Zee ruffles Nunew’s hair before standing up, he looks at Nunew before closing the light and getting out of the door to get Nunew’s things.

He met with James who looks like he has been facing problems with how he is frowning.

“James, are you okay, are there some problems?”

The younger let out a breath first before he nodded to answer Zee’s question.

“What is it?”

“P’Zee your siblings are here.”

Zee looks at James with wide eyes, like he cannot believe what he has just heard. He sighed, already feeling frustrated with just hearing that they are there, what more if he has seen and talked with them.

He already feels his energy being taken away, he’s already drained with just the fact that they are here and is looking for him. Probably getting impatient with how long he is taking to get to them.

“James, can you take care of Nunew’s things and bring them into my office? And never let anyone get inside. Nunew is sleeping and I don’t want him to be bothered.”

“Yes, P’Zee just leave him to me for now.”

“Thank you James.”

“No problem P’Zee.”

Zee started thinking why are they here, last year they caused chaos and even bothered his customers. Can’t they just leave him alone?

“Zee, they are in a special room, they wanted to go to your office but I said it was under construction.”

“Thank you Max, I owe you guys again.”

“Don’t think about it, we are your friends after all.”

“Yeah, take care of the café while I’m not here and can you please ask Net to come and help me assist them.”

“Sure, go ahead Zee. I hope they won’t stay for too long.”

“I hope so too.”

He arrives at the door of the special room. It is a room where someone can reserve for hours. Most of the time students are the one reserving this room, to do their school work.

He let out a breath first before opening the room.

“Hey P’Zee.” He let out a fake smile and thought to himself that this is gonna be one hell of a day again.

Chapter Text

“Hey P’Zee.”

“Nice seeing you again P’Zee.”

“Hi Yihan, Yichen and Xinyi.” Zee greeted as he entered the room.

But he instantly felt regret the moment he entered the room. There he is the woman who broke his heart the most. The one who made him believe in love yet the one who broke him.

An ugly feeling seeps in his heart, seeing her again after how many years brings back all the pain that she has caused her.

How dare she come like she hasn’t done anything to him. How can she even offer a smile like nothing has happened.

Zee is stunned, he feels nauseous just looking at her, he feels small, he feels trapped, he doesn’t know what to do.

Luckily, Net arrived and the other soothes him by rubbing his back. He let out a breath that he doesn’t know that he is holding.

“Are you okay P’Zee do you want me to handle this and say you have something important to do?” Net whispered to him, worry evident in the younger’s voice.

“No, it’s okay. Just stay here and help me, I at least need someone to be here with me.”

“Okay Phi, just tell me what I have to do.”

“Thank you Net.”

“No problem Phi.”

Yihan clears her throat to catch their attention. She is the oldest out of Zee's step siblings. Two years younger than him. She exudes an elegant aura and thinks that she is above almost everyone.

“P’Zee, the menu? We want to order already.”

Net stops himself from rolling his eyes. He doesn’t really like them coming here, none of them likes them to come here. They just bring trouble and are very rude to the other employees, acting like they own the place just because they are Zee’s step siblings.

“Where is James? I want him to serve us.”

“Xinyi, unfortunately, James has a lot of other things to do now so I can’t just summon him here.”

“But you are the boss, you can order them to do anything, you’re not paying them to do what they want, they have to obey you.”

“Xinyi jiejie, that’s not how it works.” Yichen, the youngest and probably the only one that Zee can tolerate among them. He is the only one who tries to stop them and tells them about their attitude. He offers Zee an apologetic smile and Zee offers back a smile to him.

“That’s how it is, Ma, can you please tell Yichen, he’s being like that again that’s why your classmates bully you. You look so fucking weak.”

“Xinyi, your words, we are in front of the table. Tell him on when we arrive at the hotel later.”

“Oh right, before I forgot P’Zee we want you to meet someone.”

“Hi, Hia Zee, I’m Meilin, nice to meet you.”

“P’Zee is fine, no need to call me Hia, I am more on the Thai side, I would appreciate it if you do that. Nice to meet you too.”

“Zee! You are too much, she just wants to call you Hia, no reason to ask her and call you Phi.”

“I would appreciate it if she would respect my preferences.”

“You listen to your mother, okay?”

Zee wants to vomit, mother? He doesn’t consider her as his mother anymore. The moment she broke his heart and left him for her other family she hasn’t been his mother anymore.

“Hello, this is your order. I hope you enjoy your food and ask me if you need anything else.”

“I want James here.”

“I am sorry ma’am but James is not on the menu of our café, so I cannot do as you wish, I hope you understand.”

Xinyi scoffs and Zee has to hold back his laugh because of what the younger just said. Zee feels proud that Net has just said that.

“Yeah whatever.”

“Zee, did you know that Meilin here is a singer and actress, her family is the owner of the biggest film production company in China. She has so many fans in China and even in other countries.”

“Oh? That’s good for her. She must be busy, why did you have to drag her here in Malta and to my small café.”

“Oh no, it’s okay Hi- I mean P’Zee, I needed some vacation so I went here with them.”

Zee just nods and his mother continues talking about how great of a woman Meilin is, and how Zee needs to settle down since he is turning thirty already.

He knows what his mother is doing and he can’t help but frown. Can’t they just leave him alone? Can his mother just leave like what she has done before? Why is she here like she didn’t cause him too much pain?

Why is she acting like she is so concerned of Zee? Can she stop pretending because Zee is already so tired of her bullshit, of her lies, of her fake concern. It makes him dizzy, he needs to breathe.

So he excuses himself and says that he needs to use the bathroom.

“Max, get me in 10 minutes. I just need to breathe.”

Max nods at him and he rushes to his office. Once he is inside he takes a deep breath.

He sees Nunew, the younger is still sleeping peacefully. He walks towards him and sits in front of the sofa where the other is sleeping.

Zee rests his head on the armrest, he sighs before looking at the younger again. He instantly feels much better now that he is with Nunew.

Nunew must have sense that someone is with him. He slowly opens his eyes and with the light that is peaking out from the curtains he sees Zee.

“Hia, are you okay?” The first thing that he said after waking up from his sleep.

“I am okay now.”

“You look tired Hia, do you want to sleep? I’ll be here with you.”

Zee feels his heart swell with fondness, how can this person bring him so much comfort.

“Can Nu hug Hia?”

The younger didn’t hesitate and went straight to hug the other. They both crash on the floor, Nunew giggling at Zee. And Zee cannot help but reciprocate it.

“Does Hia feel much better now?”

“Yeah, thank you Nu, you must really be a fairy or an angel.”

“I will be a fairy or an angel to Hia.”

“You are already one.”

Zee hugs Nunew tighter, the younger nuzzling his head to his neck, like a cat. Zee often sees how Nunew resembles a cat, with his mannerisms and how he acts.

“Nu, did you know that you’re like a cat?”

“My friends told me that, they said that’s why July doesn’t like me. They said I act more like a cat than my cat.”

The older laughs, he can imagine how July scoffs at Nunew, the other really acts like a cat, he likes nuzzling his head on Zee’s neck whenever they are hugging or how he likes to play with things that amuses him such as fluffy keychains.

Also, Nunew likes to tilt his head when he doesn’t understand things. And the face he makes when he doesn’t like something, scrunching his nose and squeezing his eyes.

“Then, I can be Hia’s cat, meow~” Zee was shocked to hear the younger.

“NU???”

“What is it Hia?” He looks up at the other innocently, Zee’s eyes are wide open like he is trying to comprehend what he just heard.

“Nu? Are you a real cat? Or a hybrid? Like you are really a cat and can transform into a human?”

“Hiaaaaa~ you’ve read too many fantasy novels. Nu is not a cat hybrid but maybe in the past life I’m a cat?”

“Oh, it’s possible and in the past you were Hia’s cat.”

“But Nu feels like, I’ve been with Hia in the past as a human and not a cat!”

Zee laughs at how Nunew sounded like, the younger is whining to him again.

“Okay okay, Nu is not a cat but Hia’s partner in life?”

Partner in life? Nunew likes the sound of it. He snuggles more into Zee as he feels his cheeks burning up. His heart beating fast, he’s afraid that Zee might feel how fast his heart is beating as they are pressed up with each other.

But he can also feel Zee’s heart beating fast. The older is caressing his back while they bask in a comfortable silence.

Before Nunew can say anything again, someone knocks at the door.

“Zee, it’s been ten minutes, they are already looking for you.”

“I’ll be out in a minute, thank you Max.”

“Who is looking for you Hia?”

“My family is here.”

“Oh, then I shouldn’t keep you in here for too long.”

Zee sighs and Nunew notices how the other frowns.

“Did something happen Hia?”

“Nu can you wait for Hia here? I’ll tell you later, promise. Can you please wait for me and hug me when I come back? I know I’m asking too much but can you--”

Zee doesn’t finish what he’s about to say because the younger squeezes his face with both of his hands. He giggles at how cute Zee looks.

“Hia, don’t worry too much, Nu will be here and I will hug you when you come. So do whatever you have to do there Hia. Nu will welcome you with open arms.”

“Thank you Nu, please don’t open the door if you don’t know who it is.”

“Yes, Hia noted! Just go now, I promise to be here.” Nunew gives Zee a tight hug before he pushes him out of the door, the younger sending a flying kiss as he closes the door to the office.

Zee shakes his head but he also sends a flying kiss back.

“Whipped.” Zee playfully glares at Max.

“And so what?”

“Oh you’re not denying it anymore.”

“Shut up Kornthas.”

“I won’t Pruk, so deal with it.”

Zee rolls his eyes and walks towards the room where his siblings, the woman who gave birth to her and some random girl are staying.

“What took you so long Zee? Meilin here just sang for us, her voice is so beautiful just like her.”

“Mrs. Huang with all respect, and to you too Ms. Meilin, I am not interested in anything you have to say and show me. I know what you are doing, I am fine, I don’t need you meddling in my life.”

“Zee! I didn’t raise you to be like that!”

“You didn't, that's why I’m like this.”

“I am still your mother!”

“You gave birth to me, but I don’t consider you my mother anymore, after what you’ve done? Do you think I still think of you as my mother? Don’t you think you’ve hurt me enough? You have the guts to come here as if you didn’t hurt me, you come in here with your children and some random girl, trying to dictate my life. You come here acting like you are so concerned of me, when I know that you have a hidden agenda. Stop doing it, stop it when I still have respect for you. I don’t want to lose that respect that I have for you, so please--”

The sound of slap rings throughout the room and there is silence.

All Zee can feel is the sting on his left cheek. He’s hurting again and again because of the same woman.

He tries not to let his tears fall, he will never let himself look pathetic in front of her, he has done that a lot of times in the past and he will never let it happen again.

He doesn’t know how many minutes have passed but he only lets himself fall into the ground after hearing the loud sound of the door closing.

A few minutes later, the door opens. He curls himself up, not ready to face anyone yet.

But he hears a soft voice calling him, he looks up, eyes stained with tears and cheeks still red from the slap.

The person who called him crouched and looked him in the eyes and without any words hugged him tightly and Zee lets everything out, crying his heart out while desperately holding on to the arms of the other person.

Chapter Text

Warm.

That is what Zee feels right now.

The person holding him feels warm and all he wanted to do was to sink in this feeling forever. He doesn’t want to let go, if only possible.

His tears has stopped a while ago. But he’s not yet ready to talk, not yet ready to face the person hugging him.

Zee wonders why the other is not even asking questions. He’s probably aware that he already stopped crying.

A few more minutes passed and Zee decided to finally look at the person holding him only to find out that he is already looking back.

“Nu.”

“Hia. Is hia okay now?” Concern written all over his face, his eyes are trying to figure out the older.

“Hia, feels a little better now.”

“Do you need something Hia? Water?” Zee shakes his head, he doesn’t want Nunew to be away from him.

Nunew nods at him and he cups Zee’s face with his hands, wiping his tear stained cheeks.

Zee stands up and offers his hand to the younger. Nunew tilts his head questioning his actions.

“My back is aching.” The younger laughs and accepts the hand that is offered to him.

“Where are we going Hia?”

“My office, do you want to listen to my story here? Hia’s back and knees will give up if we stay in that position longer.”

“Hia, you don’t have to tell me anything. I am okay just to know that you are okay.”

“But I want to tell you. But you can tell me if you don’t want to know, I’ll understand you.”

“If you are comfortable telling me then I will listen.”

Zee gives a small smile to which the younger reciprocated.

Going out of the room, Zee sees his friends who are all wearing the same face. Worry is evident on their faces, Max is manning the counter, Net is sitting on one of the stool bars and James is walking back and forth, sighing every now and then.

“Zee!” Max exclaimed as he saw his best friend walking out of the room.

“Are you okay P’Zee?” James is the first one to approach him.

“I feel a little bit better now than after getting slapped.” Zee jokes and his friends frown at him.

“I’m just kidding, don’t worry too much.”

“How can we not worry P’Zee, we know what happened before.” Net sighs and Zee walks towards him and hugs him.

“Thank you for all your concern, I appreciate it a lot. Don’t worry too much, I just need some time, why don’t we close the café earlier? I’m sure that you guys are also exhausted because of what happened.”

“Yeah, we need to rest now. Dealing with them drains all of my energy, even if I didn’t interact with them that much.”

“Go ahead Max, close the shop now. I’ll be in my office, no need to say goodbye to me, just lock all the doors, we’ll go out of the window later.”

Nunew’s eyes widened at what he said, making Zee laugh at how the younger one looks right now.

“Just kidding Nu, there’s a door at the back that can be opened from the inside.”

“I really thought we’ll have to go out from the window, you shocked me Hia.”

James shakes his head, a hint of smile on his lips. He thinks that it’s good that Zee can already crack jokes after what happened. Thanks to the Nong who has calmed him down.

Last year when the chaos happened, the whole week Zee looked like he was carrying the whole world on his back. He can’t even smile, he apologized personally to all the customers that got caught in the chaos.

“Go away now P’Zee, we’ll close the shop now, then clean up before going home.”

“Thank you Net, I owe you guys dinner again. Let’s go to that restaurant near the port this weekend.”

“Okay! Free dinner again, I love being your employee Khun Zee Pruk Panich!”

“Net you always try to get free dinner then proceed to gift James bags from branded stores.”

“Shut off P’Zee! Just go back to your office, we don’t need you here now, shoo go away!”

“Yeah, I’m gonna go now, goodbye Siraphop, Kornthas and Supamongkon!”

“Go away, Pruk!” Net replied to him and Zee blew them air kisses before leading Nunew to his office.

After entering the office, Zee remembered that he’s here to tell Nunew about his mother, he momentarily forgot about what happened because of his banter with his friends.

“Hia, water? You cried earlier, I’m sure you need to drink.”

“Thank you Nu.” Zee drinks the water that was given to him, and he sits on the sofa where Nunew slept just an hour ago.

Zee pats the empty space beside him urging Nunew to sit beside him to which the younger obliged.

Silence enveloped them. Zee is thinking how he should start telling Nunew what happened to him and his mother.

Nunew waits patiently, he knows that it is never easy to open up and talk about personal things especially if it damaged you a lot.

“I believed since I was a kid that our family is happy. I always boast to my friends how my parents are the best. I grew up thinking like that. My dad is an owner of a multi-million company, my mom, she’s an exchange student from China, that’s when they met, my dad pursued her for over a year before she said yes to him. After graduating they married each other, a year later they had me. I don’t have any siblings so it’s a bit lonely for me, my dad is busy with work but he makes time for me, he attends all my school events, my mom on the other hand is always away since her family is on China, she calls me every night to put me on sleep but I barely see her since she says her parents are sick and she wants to spend a lot of time with them, it would go on for months even a year that I don’t see her but of course I tried to understand because family is important but little did I know.”

13 years old Zee Pruk

“What is the meaning of this honey?” Young Zee hears his father asking his mother. He peeks through the door to see what is happening on the inside.

“What? Why do you always put malice in everything that I do? That’s just me having dinner with my friends and their children.”

“Don’t try to fool me more, I was there, the kids called you ‘mom’ since when are you cheating? Since when?”

“I am not! You don’t even understand Chinese. How will you understand what they are saying?”

“You forgot that my parents own a multi-million company? They enrolled me in Chinese classes when I was younger, I understand what they said. All these years I just thought that you are only talking to your parents, I kept on hearing how you ask about children when you are talking to someone on your phone. Makes sense now that you are always in China and won’t even go back for months and even a year, you were building another family and neglecting your son. I pushed all thoughts of you possibly cheating on me even when my parents said so, because you said you love me and I was a fool to believe you.”

“And? Now that you’ve known, what will you do? Zee loves me so much he can’t go to sleep without me talking to him.” Zee froze on his spot trying to understand what he just heard. He didn’t even notice when his mother opened the door and revealed that he was there.

“Mom? What is happening?” His mother smiled at him, the same smile that she gives him, the smile that comforted Zee all throughout his childhood.

“Nothing, just a misunderstanding with your dad. You need to sleep now right? Let’s go, mom will sing you to sleep.”

Zee went with her, not questioning anymore. If only he knew, if only he just asked, if only he just looked at his dad’s direction.

15 years old Zee Pruk

Two years have passed since that night. Zee begged his mother not to leave him, cried to her and pleaded that she stay with him.

She agreed to him, but she still flies to China from time to time. But not like before, she spends most of her time with him.

Young Zee thinks that everything is already okay and his family is back to what he believed in.

Zee was back from school when he heard things being thrown, glasses shattering, his mother and father shouting at each other.

He ran to open the door and saw the mess in their living room. All of their things were on the floor, broken and shattered.

His dad was crying, tears were running on his cheeks.

“You will choose them over us? Go ahead, don’t come back anymore! We don’t need you!”

“Dad, no, I need mom. Why are you asking her to go away?”

“Your mom doesn’t love us anymore, she has another family in China.”

“Mom?” Zee looks at her hoping that what he just heard is not true.

But the look she gave him was enough to confirm it.

“I am sorry Zee, I can’t stay here anymore.”

She walks away and gets the luggage that was on the bottom of their staircase. She was almost out of the door when Zee ran to her and kneeled while crying.

“Mom, don’t leave us, please. I will do everything you want, I will be the top of our class, I will do better in playing piano, I will join the rugby team in the school, just please don’t leave.” Zee was rubbing his hands, pleading her not to leave.

Tears pooled in his eyes, his vision is getting blurry but he still continues to beg for his mother not to leave. Zee loves his mother so much, he is attached to her.

But his mother just looks at him, not the same look that she used to give him. It is a cold look, not like the woman who adores him, not the woman who tells him that she loves him a lot.

“You look pathetic, just like two years ago. Crying, kneeling and begging me not to go. You’re just like your dad. Goodbye Zee.” And without more words she left and she never looked back.

Zee was left on the floor, crying his heart out, he felt like the whole world turned their back on him. He was left alone in the dark.

Chapter Text

Crying.

Nunew is crying as Zee finishes telling his story. He’s not sobbing but tears are silently falling from his eyes.

He didn’t know when the tears started falling, he didn’t even know that he was crying. When the older wiped his tears did he only knew.

“Nu, why are you crying?”

“I didn’t know I’m crying Hia. Hia you are crying too.” Nunew wipes Zee’s tear stained cheeks gently.

“It happened years ago but it still hurts, people say that time heals all wounds but I don’t think this wound will ever heal.”

“A wound as deep as that may never fully heal Hia but I know you will never let it hinder you from doing what you want to do. Just look at what you’re doing right now. You’re doing so good despite having all those traumatic experiences, and I am so proud of how strong you are.” Nunew choked up on his own words, tears were pouring out of his eyes again.

“Hug?” Zee asked and Nunew nodded immediately, falling into the arms of the other.

He feels a lot after he just heard what the older just told him.

His family is not perfect and they have a lot of flaws. But at the very least he knows that both of his parents love him genuinely or have loved him before because the situation now is different from before and thankfully he has the most loving grandparents.

Silence enveloped the room. The only thing that can be heard is the younger’s sniffles. When Zee couldn't hear the sniffles anymore he turned to check on Nunew.

His cheeks are still stained with tears, eyes puffy and lips pouting as he looks like he is thinking about something.

Nunew is still in deep thought, like how can someone be so cruel and treat their own child like that, like he doesn’t mean anything to her.

Zee notices the change in the younger’s expression, he is now frowning. Lips pursed, eyes glaring at the space in front of him.

“Nu?” He tries calling the younger but he doesn’t budge, still glaring at the empty space.

Zee decides to hold Nunew’s chin and make him face him.

“Nu, you’re frowning too much, your brows are already meeting with how much you are frowning. What are you thinking, hmmm?”

“Huh?” Nunew looks at Zee, eyes blinking rapidly making the older laugh at him.

“You are spacing out and frowning, may I know the reason behind it?”

“Just thinking about what you told me Hia, I know my parents are not the best but still I know they genuinely care and love me, while your mother? I can’t imagine how she can do all of that to her own son.”

Nunew heaves out a deep sigh before hugging Zee even tighter, he buries his head on Zee’s neck, placing a soft barely there kiss. Zee tenses not expecting the younger’s action but he relaxes just as quickly.

He knows his ears are already turning red, can you blame him? He likes the younger more than he admits, he’s whipped just like what Max said.

No one knows how much time has passed as they bask in each other’s warmth. Zee would probably think the younger has fallen asleep if not for the younger drawing figures with his fingers on his back.

“Nu, are you okay now?”

“Why are you asking me Hia? Shouldn’t I ask you that?”

“You’ve been crying, of course I’ll be worried about you.”

“I’m okay Hia, how about you?”

“I feel a lot better now.”

“Hia, can I ask you something?”

“Hmmm, sure what is it?”

Nunew hesitated for a bit before asking, not sure if he should ask the question or not but the older has gave him a go signal.

“Where is your father? Is he in Thailand?”

Zee paused after hearing the question, not expecting the younger to ask about his father.

“Well, technically he’s in Thailand.” The younger looks at him with confusion not quite understanding what he just said.

“My dad’s buried in Thailand, he passed away almost ten years ago so yeah he’s there.”

Nunew’s eyes widened, he looked at Zee with worry on his face. He may have hit something with his question.

“Oh my God, Hia, I’m so sorry.” Sensing the younger’s panic, he softly caresses the younger’s cheeks.

“It’s okay Nu, you didn’t know.”

“But still Hia–”

“Listen to Hia, okay? I was about to tell you about him away, I just didn’t know you’ll ask but no problem Nhu, I swear.”

Nunew nods but he continues pouting, still upset with himself for asking a question like that.

“You know, the time I realized my dad is the one who’s always there for me, it’s a bit too late.”

Zee just turned 18 when they knew that his father was diagnosed with cancer. His father was suddenly brought to the hospital after collapsing in his office.

“Mr. Panich, where is his room?” Zee asks the nurse at the desk for information.

“May I know what is your–”

“I am his son, can you please tell me.”

“Room 405 sir.”

“Thank you.”

He runs towards the room, he’s at school when his dad’s secretary called him telling what happened.

Zee sees his dad’s secretary, P’Mark, standing outside the room talking to a doctor.

“P’Mark! What happened to dad?”

“Calm down for a bit Zee.”

“How can I calm down Phi? Dad just collapsed and I don’t know what happened to him!”

“Zee, listen to me. What I’m about to say will definitely shock you.”

Zee looks at Mark, eyes full of fear in whatever he was about to say.

“Your dad is diagnosed with cancer.”

The world suddenly stopped, Zee cannot hear what other things the older is saying to him, as if the world turned silent, but not really because all he can hear in a loop is ‘Your dad is diagnosed with cancer.’

They’re just starting over. It took him years to move on with his mother leaving them and him appreciating his father, who has always been there, who has always supported him no matter what he does.

He just realized how his dad loved and cared for him. How attentive he is. He knows the small details about him despite the fact that he is busy with his work. But he never lets Zee feel like no one is there for him.

He took him for granted because he is always there. He brushed him aside knowing that he would never leave him and favored the woman who didn’t even care for him a bit.

Zee fell down on the floor, tears pouring from his eyes.

From that time, he made sure to spend all his free time with his father. Going to places they’ve never been, doing activities like painting, pottery making, fishing and many more.

But there’s a limit to what they can do considering his father’s health condition.

His condition is worsening as days go by.

His father’s cancer was found late and there’s a low chance of him living for more than three years.

“Zee, I know you don’t want to manage the company, but can you please at the very least consider being a shareholder?” His dad asked him one night, when they were resting in the garden of their house.

“I will do it dad.” Zee’s father smiles at him, happy to hear his son agreeing.

“I will leave the company to Joss, he’s very interested in the business and I can see that he will run the business well.”

“Dad, stop saying it, as if you are leaving, okay?” His dad chuckles, shaking his head at how Zee is scolding him.

“Okay, I won’t.” He holds up both of his hands to say that he already surrenders.

Zee laughs at his dad’s antics. He knows he got this silly antics from his dad.

A year later, Zee faced the thing that he feared the most. His dad passed away.

His mother comes to the funeral, fake sobbing as if she is so devastated that his father died.

Zee looks at her with no expression on his face, his eyes are empty, lips pursed into a thin line.

“What are you doing here?”

“Of course, my husband died, I have to be here to see him off.”

“Dad doesn’t need you, you were never there for him. So please stop acting as if you did so well as his wife.” Zee’s now fuming with anger, eyes glaring at the woman in front of him.

“Zee, my son, what are you saying—”

“Please cut the bullshit, please go away, dad wouldn’t appreciate you being here. I want dad to go peacefully and it won’t happen if you are here.” Zee’s voice is full of venom, he’s trying his best to calm down.

“P’Zee, calm down. P’Max can you tell the guards to get her away and not let her in for the rest of Uncle’s funeral.”

James dragged Zee to sit down and let Max and Net handle the situation.

Zee’s thankful for his cousin and friends that help him with the situation.

His dad gets buried, after a week of funeral.

His mom fights for her shares in his dad’s properties and Zee just lets her do what she wants, he doesn’t want to fight with her anymore, he’s already so drained with what happened and doesn’t want to waste more energy arguing with her.

After graduating, Zee moves to Malta with his best friend Max. His dad wasn’t able to see him graduating but he knows he is proud of him and is supportive of whatever he will do.

Years later, James and Net follow them to Malta. The two reasoning how it felt empty and lonely without their favorite Phi’s by their side.

“Hia, your dad must be very very proud of you. With your story it feels like he is a very warm person just like you.”

“He is, that’s why I felt really cold when he left me, like he took away all the warmth that I have. But right now? I feel very warm, like what I felt when dad was with me.”

“That’s good to hear Hia, I’m happy for you.”

“It’s because Nu is very warm and he’s hugging Hia tightly.” Nunew smiles at him, the smile that brightens up Zee’s world.

“Then, I’ll be Hia’s personal warmer.” Zee laughs at what Nunew said, the younger is really a sunshine, he makes Zee feel warm and he gives light to his life.

“Okay, then Nu shouldn’t leave Hia.” Nunew tenses for a bit but he quickly fixes his expression and just hugs Zee, burying his head once again on Zee’s neck.

They stayed like that for quite some time again, silence engulfing them before they decided to finally get up and get out of the shop to eat as the younger’s stomach suddenly reminded them that they still have to eat.

The two went out of the window in Zee’s office. Both of them giggling after coming out, knowing how silly it is to go with the older’s joke earlier.

With the younger’s grumbling stomach, they hurriedly went to a nearby restaurant.

People look at them as they pass by, wondering why two grown men are running and laughing by themselves but they don’t really care as they are very immersed into their own world. Making people around them feel like air.

Chapter Text

After the chaos with Zee’s mother and siblings, everything went back to normal.

Nunew visits the café everyday with the excuse of needing coffee and desserts to complete his day. It’s not because of a certain gorgeous man who owns the shop.

Today is just like that, Nunew breathes in the smell of coffee as he enters the café.

“Good morning Nong New!”

“Good morning P’James!”

James and Nunew became closer through the course of time. Even going as far as James touring him around the places that he hasn’t been.

“P’Zee is at his office, doing the math stuff, you know he’s the only one who can handle that, as all of us hate shit like that. I don’t even understand how he can face numbers everyday, thinking about it makes me dizzy already.”

“Well, Hia is a nerd who likes those geeky stuff you know.” The two giggles as they chitchat about the owner not knowing that he is listening to their conversation.

“Really Nu? And you too James?”

Both are startled as they hear the voice of the man who they were gossiping about.

“Hia! I thought you are busy with the smart stuff that you have to do, running this business and everything.”

“I am, but my Chawarin senses are tingling like telling me that the naughty kid is here and surprisingly it is right.”

“And it’s my cue to leave, bye love birds or whatever.” James waved goodbye at them and they laughed at how dramatic he walked away.

“So, what are you gonna do today?”

“Hmmm, I rented out a yacht but it’s still at 5 pm so I still have time to just roam around and visit some places.”

“That’s nice, the sunset here is really pretty, much prettier if you’re close to the sea.”

“Yeah, that is why I am here as well, I’m asking you if you want to see the sunset with me.”

“Oh, I’m not sure Nu, Hia has some things to do.”

Nunew pouts and looks down on the floor.

“Don’t worry P’Zee the new employee will arrive later, I will take care of him, so go ahead and have a date on the yacht.” Zee is startled with Net who just spoke behind him.

“Are you sure?”

“Ohhhh, he’s not denying that it’s a date.” Zee glared at Net, mouthing the younger to shut his mouth. But his ears are already turning red which didn’t go unnoticed by the other.

“P’MAAAXXX! YOU OWE ME ONE 100 EUROS!”

“SIRAPHOP! STOP BETTING ON EVERYTHING I SWEAR!”

“NO ONE CAN STOP ME P’ZEE!”

“Not even me?” James suddenly popped out behind the counter, looking at Net with his raised eyebrows.

“Hehehehhehe.” Net just laughed awkwardly and bowed in front of James. “I’ll do it moderately, I promise.” Then he just dashed off to the staff room.

Nunew giggled by himself, thinking how everyone just keeps on popping from nowhere, first it’s Zee then Net and now James.

“Why are you giggling Nu?”

“It’s just funny how everyone just keeps on popping out from somewhere, starting from you next is P’Net then P’James.” Zee chuckled at what he said, he’s fascinated by how Nunew thinks and how he is already happy with just small things like that.

“You are so cute Nu.”

“I know Hia, you tell me that everyday!”

“Yeah, I won’t say it anymore. And about that yacht thing, I’ll go with you.” Nunew cheered ‘yaaaay’ with both of his hands raised up. Zee looks at him fondly, a smile etched on his face.

Nunew then bid goodbye after getting his coffee and a free box of macarons from the owner of the shop himself. Specially baked for him, but the younger doesn’t need to know that.

He visited an art gallery that just opened. He wondered if he could ever do something like that, displaying his artworks and proudly presenting them. It’s an almost impossible dream as his father won’t allow him to do that.

For him, Nunew drawing and painting is just a waste of time. He can use that time to study, study and study more.

Probably even at this time his father would think that he should just go back to Thailand and learn how to run their business. But they have a deal, after one year, Nunew will come back and follow his father’s orders.

Lost in his thought, Nunew didn’t notice someone that was walking in front of him and bumped into them.

“Oh my God! I’m sorry I didn’t notice you.”

“NUNEW!”

“YIM?! TUTOR?!”

The three of them yelled, attracting people’s attention but they just didn't care. Two months away from each other feels like two years already, with how much time they have spent together.

“I missed you so much my pouty baby.”

“I missed you too so much, my cheeky baby.”

Tutor is filming them, laughing at how the two hugged each other tightly then squished each other’s face then hugging again.

“How did you come here?”

“By plane? No? We went here by a spaceship, the spaceship that me and Tutor have been creating since last year.”

Nunew laughed at what his best friend said, he really missed how the other would just spout things like that, how he will just start talking about aliens, space and everything that is still unexplainable and remains a mystery.

“I missed you too Tor, how are you handling this baby?”

“Missed you too New, he doesn’t sulk that much anymore since you flew here to Malta, maybe he realized that you won’t be there to listen to him rant about me.”

Yim glared at his boyfriend, lips already protruding.

“Aigoo, I’m just kidding love. Let’s go naaaa~” Tutor hugged Yim before pinching his cheeks to which the other just scrunched his nose, making Nunew laugh at them.

It’s already normal for him to see them going lovey dovey and he already accepted his fate of being their third wheel but it’s okay as long as he gets to see them happy, then he is happy as well.

“Why did you decide to come here and visit?” Nunew asks as they walk while eating pastizzi, one of the most famous foods in Malta.

“We missed you and we haven’t even celebrated your graduation. So we decided to come and visit you here.”

“We? It was just you who decided for the both of us.” Tutor said in a teasing manner.

“So, you don’t want to come here Tor?”

“Then go home now, I’ll stay here with New for a while. Bleh!”

“I’m just joking, these two I swear, it’s really chaotic when you guys are together.”

The three continued roaming around the streets of Malta, buying and eating almost every food that they see as they walk. Nunew is so happy, having his two closest friends with him right now, enjoying and savoring the delicious foods and beautiful landscape of the place.

Time passes by so fast, it’s true that if you are happy and having fun time flies so fast. Nunew almost forgot that he rented a yacht to spend his evening there and watch the sunset, if not for Zee calling him.

“Shocks, I forgot about that yacht thing.” Nunew exclaimed as he saw Zee calling him and what time is it already.

“What yacht thing?”

“I rented a yacht for tonight, and I have to be there by 5 pm.”

“It’s already 4:30 New, are you gonna get there by five?”

“Hiaaaaaaa! I forgot about it, oh my god, I’m far from the dock.” Nunew immediately says as he answers the call.

“Send me your location, I’ll pick you up.”

“Are you sure Hia?”

“Yes.”

“I’ll share with you my location, take care Hia!”

After Nunew hangs up the call, he sees his two friends looking at him teasingly. Yim’s eyebrows are wiggling, his eyes full of mischief. Tutor has his arms crossed over his chest, both of them smiling at him mischievously.

“Who is that Hia, and I am not forgetting that whiny voice that you don’t usually use, don’t lie to me Chawarin.”

“What are you talking about? Hia is my friend, that friend I met in a coffee shop.” Nunew feigns ignorance, shrugging his shoulders.

“You won’t fool me Chawarin Perdpiriyawong, I’ve been with you for so long to notice the small things.”

“Nu!”

Before Nunew can answer Yim, someone calls him. He didn’t expect to be faced by a Zee Pruk in a motorcycle, not just a regular one but a fucking superbike, what the fuck and don’t get Nunew started with that black leather jacket, fitted black pants, white shirt and black boots.

‘OH MY FUCK, THE FUCK IS HE SO HOT FOR.’

“H-Hia, you’re ho– fast.”

“Yeah, luckily I brought my baby with me.” Zee says as he pats his superbike.

“Sawasdee krub.”

“Oh, sawasdee krub.”

“Your friends Nu?”

“Yes Hia, I’ve mentioned them to you.”

“Ah, you must be Yim and Tutor.”

The two nods and Zee smiles at them. He didn’t expect to meet them suddenly and he instantly became conscious of what they would think about him.

“You have a yacht appointment right? We can talk and meet next time, Nunew you’ll be happy to introduce us properly to each other next time right?”

“Yes, we have to go now, bye bestie.” Nunew hugs Yim and Yim whispers ‘Don’t give it to him yet, okay?’ and Nunew hits him lightly before waving goodbye to them and approaching Zee.

Zee puts on his helmet for him, making sure that the younger is wearing it properly. He also puts on his leather jacket on him to which the younger protests but Zee just looks at him intently and he gives up instantly.

“Hold tight, Nu. We have about fifteen minutes to get to the dock.”

Nunew wraps his arms around Zee loosely still shy of the fact that he is back hugging the older but he quickly tightens his hold on Zee as the older starts driving, hugging tightly to hold on for his dear life.

They arrived five minutes before five and Nunew is stunned with how fast the ride is. Zee has to bring him down from the superbike and take off his helmet. The leather jacket is still on him, and Zee has no intention of taking it off from Nunew.

It took a few minutes and a hug from Zee before Nunew realized that they were there and they were on time.

Maybe, it’s worth the ride because they were on time for their appointment.

Chapter Text

Ethereal.

Nunew is in awe at how the view looks like right now. He picked the perfect time to rent out a yacht. The sun just started setting when the yacht finally stopped moving. The sky is starting to turn from blue to orange-pink color.

Nunew is watching the sun intently, eyes wide open and mouth slightly opened with how fascinated he is with what he is witnessing. He didn’t notice how Zee, who is standing beside him looks at him.

“It’s so pretty.”

“Yeah, it’s very pretty.” Zee said while looking at the younger. Nunew then looks at the older only to find out that he is already looking at him, making him feel shy when he realized that Zee meant that he is pretty instead of the view in front of them.

He feels his face heating up and he avoids the other’s eyes who is still looking at him. His heart is beating fast, he’s afraid that anytime soon it will jump out of his chest. He knows it, he knows that he likes Zee more than a friend. But he doesn’t want to acknowledge it because what good will it do? The fact that he will leave, will not change.

So, why would he subject himself to a heartbreak? As if he won’t be heartbroken when he leaves Malta. He also doesn’t want Zee to feel what he has felt before, if ever he feels the same way. It’s complicated and Nunew is holding onto the small rational part of his mind to not confess and tell Zee how much he means to him.

Confessing won’t do them good. But as days pass by and he knows more about the older he can’t help but fall more for the other.

Zee is a beautiful person, not just his appearance, but everything about him. It’s impossible not to like him. It’s impossible if that person pays all of his attention to him when he is telling him things, no matter what it is, when he knows that the younger is down and does everything to make him feel better. When he’s so careful with him and treats like he is a limited edition person, when he looks at him like he holds his whole universe for him. How can you not like him?

Meeting Zee is probably the most amazing thing that he will experience in his life. And he promised himself that he will never forget him no matter what happens.

“Nu.”

“Hia?”

Zee took a picture of Nunew as soon as the younger looked at him. Head tilted, lips pouting and eyes a bit questioning why the older called him. As soon as the younger heard the shutter button, he whined, his lips protruding more.

“Cute.”

“Hiaaaa~ Why won’t you tell me that you’re gonna take a picture of me?”

“Because.” Zee paused for a while, putting his chin on his hands before continuing “I just want to, bleh.” Nunew tried not to laugh but the moment Zee stuck his tongue out at him, he burst out laughing.

“Hia! You are so childish!”

“I think I am spending too much of my time with someone who does that quite a lot, I wonder who it is, hmmmm?”

“You’re telling me it’s my fault?” Nunew crosses his arms in front of his chest.

“I am not, and do you think it is you?”

Nunew looked at him with his ‘I’m-done-of-Hia’ face. And started walking away but before he could even take his second step Zee pulled his arm and stopped him. He tries to get out of Zee’s grip but the older just wraps his arms around his middle, hugging him from behind.

Once he realized how intimate they look, Nunew tenses up for a bit, he’s wary of how people will see them but he remembers they are in the middle of the sea and there’s only them and two crews of the yacht so he relaxes and just gives in to the warmth that is behind him.

Zee rests his chin on Nunew’s shoulder, he sways them to the beat of a slow song playing in the background.

“Are you happy Nu?”

“I am, I’m very happy Hia.”

Nunew feels Zee smiling on his shoulder.

“How about you Hia, are you happy?”

“I’ve never felt like this before.”

“Like what?”

“Like, I’m floating. I feel so light, not physically but my heart feels so light, as if all the difficult things I’ve experienced are lifted off my chest and all I have to do is to cherish this moment. Thank you for making me feel this way, I feel so happy.”

The two stayed in that position until the sun finally went down and the moon showed up to lighten up the darkness.

It wasn’t until Nunew’s stomach grumbled that the two reluctantly moved away from each other. Nunew covered his face, embarrassed how his stomach ruined their moment.

He likes the warmth that the older is giving him. He feels safe and content, if possible he wants to stay forever, want to always feel the warmth of Zee, want to stay with him always, want to tell him what he feels.

Nunew feels overwhelmed with all the emotions that he feels towards Zee, but at the same time he feels really happy and content, his heart is full.

If you tell Nunew that he will feel something like this before, he would’ve laugh and tell you how he will experience it when his path has already been decided for him the day his dad changed and became someone he told him he will never be.

“Nu? Let’s eat naaaaaa, Hia is also hungry.” Nunew giggled at how Zee whined at him.

“Krub Hia, we’ll eat naaaaaa.”

There is a special dinner waiting for them, prepared by the crews of the yacht.

Both of them blushed when one of the crew said that they are a lovely couple. Neither denied the statement and just let it be.

At first they ate in silence, the only sounds heard were the utensils and the waves of the sea. But soon enough Zee started a conversation.

“Nu. Did you know that?”

“Know what Hia?”

“That I’m handsome.” Nunew playfully glares at Zee while shaking his head.

“I know Hia, no need to tell me everyday.”

“What if you accidentally forgot? I have to remind you everyday.”

“Hia, did you know?”

“What?”

“That you are a menace in my life.”

“A menace that you want to keep in your life?”

Nunew is momentarily stunned. He doesn’t know how to answer that question.

“Nu, I have something to tell you.” The younger nods at him.

Zee is nervous, his hands fidgeting playing with the table cloth. He exhaled before looking at Nunew’s eyes.

“I have been thinking about this for a while.”

“What is it Hia?”

“Ever since I met you, that day when you arrived here in Malta and went to our café, when I rambled about the broken door and gave you a box of macarons something has changed. Then, you started visiting the shop more and I got to know you more. I feel a lot more happier when you are around, I look forward to spending time with you, I found myself thinking of you the first thing in the morning and the last thing before I sleep at night, I feel something that I haven’t felt before, this is new to me because I built a wall and no one has ever broken it but you? With just your smile, you manage to break that wall and get into me.”

Zee paused for a while, he gently reached for Nunew’s hands, holding it with utmost care.

“It’s so hard to keep all these feelings within me and now I finally found the courage to tell you.”

“I like you Nunew, a lot.”

Zee looks at Nunew hopefully, his eyes, if you can just see his eyes, it’s full of adoration towards the younger.

Minutes have passed but Nunew is not saying anything and Zee is slowly starting to panic, he’s thinking that maybe it’s too fast for the other or maybe he has read all the signs wrong and Nunew is just very kind. Thoughts are running inside Zee’s head.

Nunew retreated his hands from Zee. He is looking everywhere but avoiding Zee’s direction.

“I am sorry Hia, but I can’t, we can’t.”

Zee nods at him, trying to give a gentle smile but you can see it in his eyes that he is hurting. He’s just trying not to cry in front of the younger.

No one dared to break the silence after that.

The time in the yacht has come to an end. They walked in silence after getting down.

“How are you going home?”

“I’ll just take a cab here. Thank you for coming with me.”

“Is it okay if I just bring you home? I think it’s much better since cabs don’t tend to pass by this area a lot.”

“If it’s okay with you.”

The drive home is silent, Nunew hugs Zee from behind, with the excuse of having nothing to hold onto except for him, he feels the older’s warmth, savoring it as he feels that it will be the last time that he would be able to do it.

He knows he fucked up, his only shot in experiencing true love. But he wants to save the both of them from further heartbreak.

It’s bound to break them and he doesn’t want to hurt Zee, that’s the last thing he wants.

“We are here.”

Nunew gets off from the superbike and hands the helmet to Zee.

“Thank you for bringing me home, have a safe trip going home, Hia.”

“Thank you for today as well Nu. Good night.”

“Good night.”

Nunew waits until Zee is out of his sight before he goes inside his apartment. After removing his shoes, that’s when he realized that he’s still wearing the older’s leather jacket.

He slumped to the floor, thoughts about what happened running in his head. He removes the jacket and hugs it, finally letting the tears fall.

Chapter Text

Nunew cried the whole night until he fell asleep on the couch of his temporary home. He woke up to someone knocking on his door. He dragged his feet to look at who it was, he almost stumbled down as his head was pounding from crying all night.

“Nunew! What happened? Why are you still wearing your clothes from yesterday? Why are your eyes swollen?”

“Calm down Yim, you are asking too many questions all at once.”

“Yeah, you are talking too much, my head’s already pounding. Just come inside first, just excuse the mess.”

The two visitors, Yim and Tutor, started tidying up Nunew’s apartment. The youngest fell on the couch and stared at the empty wall in front of him.

Yim and Tutor looked at each other and shared a look that they’ll try to coax Nunew later to tell them what happened. As of now, they’ll just let him be, he probably needs some time for himself to ponder upon the happenings.

In the You Smile, I Smile Café, things aren’t good as well. Zee is working as usual, he is locked up in the four corners of his office, doing the financial stuff for the month which he just finished yesterday but he still keeps on insisting that there may be something that he missed, which is something that doesn’t happen because he is very meticulous with his work.

The place feels kind of gloomy, everyone is affected by Zee. Plus, their regular customer is not around which is unusual, ever since Nunew discovered the place there is not a single day that he is not there, well, aside if they decided not to open the café.

Nat, their newest employee, just looks at everyone wondering what is happening.

“P’Max?”

“Oh, Nong Nat, what is it?”

“Did something happen… I know I’m just new here but it kind of feels like everyone is gloomy?”

“Well, Zee, he is the boss by the way, he locked himself up in the room to work.”

“What is the problem with that Phi?”

“The problem is, Zee finished all that stuff yesterday because he went on a date last night, but I guess something happened.”

“Oh…”

“Yeah, we are kinda worried plus Nong New is not here.”

“Nong New is the one that P’Zee went on a date with.” Net said joining in on the conversation.

James is the most affected out of everyone, he has been secretly rooting for them since their first meeting. P’Zee is the brother figure that he never had with his family and Nong New, he adores him a lot. He has seen how the two of them look at each other, seen how their smiles would brighten up just by seeing each other, he has never seen Zee like that, when he has known him for so long. He just wants both of them to be happy.

“James?”

“Oh P’Net?”

“Did you try calling Nong New? Maybe he overslept or he has plans for today?”

“I did, but he’s not answering. My messages are undelivered as well.” James sighed, he tried calling Nunew a few times already and he even sent some messages but nothing, the younger isn’t answering.

“How about I ask Zee what happened?”

“You know your best friend P’Max, he won’t talk unless it’s all too much for him to handle on his own, the last time he opened up to us was ten years ago.” James sighed for the hundredth time today.

The bell at the door chimed indicating that a customer just walked in. Everyone went back to their designated stations but with a promise that they will continue their conversation.

“Hi? This is the You Smile, I Smile Café right?”

James, who is in charge of the counter, scooted his facial expression, forcing himself to smile as genuinely as possible before answering yes.

“I’m Yim and this is Tutor, maybe you are wondering why I’m introducing myself but I am Nunew’s friend.” Hearing Nunew’s name, James looked at the two with much interest.

“Oh, hi! I’m James, I know Nunew, is he okay? He’s not answering my calls or messages.”

“Well, I can’t say he’s okay because I think something happened, but he’s not telling us. He just asked us if we can buy him coffee and some pastries here.”

“I see. Anyway, no need to pay for it, it’s a treat from me, just tell Nunew that his P’James is really worried and he can tell me anything.”

“That would be nice, your message will be delivered. Thank you so much Phi.”

–

There’s nothing that he can do anymore. He already finished his work yesterday. He already double checked it just for the sake of being busy and not to think of what happened.

But there’s only a few things that can really distract him.

Everything that happened the moment they stepped on the yacht is playing on Zee’s mind.

If only he didn’t confess and fuck things up like thinking that the younger wants to be in a romantic relationship with him then maybe Nunew is already staying at the café now, sipping his favorite coffee and maybe Zee would’ve made his favorite macaron.

Nunew is everything that Zee didn’t know he wanted but he lost him. He lost the one person that he wanted so bad to stay in his life for as long as possible.

Despite only knowing the younger for two months, he already secured a place in Zee’s heart. He occupied Zee’s mind the moment they met each other.

If Zee will totally lose Nunew, he will leave a huge empty space that no one can replace.

Zee stared at the empty wall in front of him, he blinked a few times to stop his tears from falling, his mom’s words echoed in his mind “You look pathetic.” It happens every time he is about to cry so ever since that incident, he has only cried three times.

When his father was diagnosed with cancer, when his father died and just recently when his so-called mother went to his café and slapped him.

Someone knocked on the door that cut off Zee’s train of thoughts. The door opened revealing James.

“What is it?”

“It’s lunch time Phi, I wondered if you want to eat outside but decided against it so I brought you lunch.”

“Thank you but I don’t have–”

“You shouldn’t say no to food, I know you haven’t eaten anything yet plus I’m going to Thailand next week, I’ll tell uncle so he’ll visit you and scold you.”

Zee sighed, he knows he can’t argue with his cousin, the younger knows him a lot that he uses it to his advantage in times like this.

James smiled triumphantly and sat on the sofa, he started taking out all the foods that he brought.

“James! How many are you feeding? Why are there so many foods?”

“Hi Phi, we are here too!” Net barged in carrying drinks in his hands, behind him is Max and their new employee Nat.

“I really can’t have a day of peace?” Zee chuckled as the three except Nat rolled their eyes at him.

“Not when you have us around P’Zee.”

“You’ve been pestering me since you decided to follow me here in Malta, Siraphop.”

“Can’t help it Phi, it’s part of my daily life now.”

The five of them start digging on the foods in front of them, everyone’s engaging in small conversations except for Zee who is in his own head. They are telling Nat the funny and embarrassing moments that each of them has experienced ever since they lived in Malta.

Zee is thankful that they don’t try to include him in the conversation. Maybe they just want to let him know that they are there and he is not alone, which he is grateful for.
After their lunch at Zee’s office, they went back to their work. Except for James who stayed for a bit.

“P’Zee, Nunew’s friends came here, Yim and Tutor. They said Nunew is not okay, but he asked them if they can buy him drinks and pastries here, so I gave them the macarons you made earlier.”

“Well, that macarons are really for him, thank you James.”

“Welcome Phi, I’m here if you need someone to talk to or to drink, you know.”

Zee nodded and gave a small smile before James walked out of the door and closed it leaving him alone with his thoughts.

Chapter Text

The smell of coffee instantly filled the room as soon as Yim and Tutor walked in, it distracted Nunew from his trance. He whipped his head in their direction, Yim lifted his hands showing the coffee he bought.

“Hi baby, how are you feeling now?”

“A little better.” Yim hummed before handing the coffee to Nunew.

“Fancy some pastries? P’James said to give this to you. And he said he’s really worried about you and you can tell him anything.”

The youngest just nods and sips on his coffee. He goes back to staring at the wall in front of him.

Everything that happened last night is playing on Nunew’s mind. Starting from when Zee fetch him with a motorcycle in an outfit that almost made Nunew lose his mind, but guess he did, to them arriving on time for their schedule, to things that they’ve talked about, to how Nunew felt safe and warm in Zee’s embrace, never wanting to leave the comfortable cocoon that is Zee, to their dinner where Zee confessed that he likes him.

He didn’t know when the tears started falling, he only knew when his best friend hugged him. Nunew clenched his hands on Yim’s shirt, sobbing as he cried his heart out.

Nunew didn’t expect falling in love when he went to Malta, he didn’t expect that someone would be able to make him feel that way. But Zee is Zee he has managed to break down Nunew’s walls within two months. But Nunew already gave up all hopes of falling in love with someone because he knows his father is unstoppable once he decides on things that he will pursue.

Time passed, until Nunew’s sobs turned to hiccups. Yim was about to talk to him when Tutor shushed him. Nunew has fallen asleep on Yim's shoulders. Tutor carefully pried Nunew from Yim, trying not to wake up the youngest and they let him lay down on the sofa.

They had the idea to bring him to his bed but decided against it, to not disturb their friend with his sleep. They know that the youngest hasn’t slept that much before they barged into his apartment.

“Tor, I’m worried, I haven’t seen him in this state and we have been best friends for more than half of our lives.”

“I know you are worried, love, but give him some time to process things. He will come to you at his own pace, just let him be for now.”

Yim pouts but he agrees to what his boyfriend said. Nunew says everything to him, he just can’t help but be worried because in all those years of their friendship, this is the first time that he has seen him like that.

It wasn’t easy for Nunew to have friends, well, he is a Perdpiriyawong to say. People want to be friends with him not because they genuinely want to but because of his surname. Yim is the only person that didn’t care about that. As a carefree child he never listened to what his parents wanted him to do, he went on his own ways.

Eight year old Nunew is crying under a tree. He has heard that his group of friends only befriended him because their parents said so. They said that they don’t like playing with him.

Nunew at a young age has already experienced the cruelty of the world. People are only nice to him because his surname is Perdpiriyawong. Not because they are kind people.

The young one is so busy crying that he doesn't notice that someone is looking at him as he cries. That someone is sitting in a branch of the tree that Nunew has chosen to be his crying spot.

“Hi!” Nunew looks up to see a kid around his age looking at him with a bright smile.

“What are you doing there? It’s dangerous, you might fall!”

“Well, I am not gonna fall down, I’ve been climbing this tree for a long time now.”

“Why would you do that?” Nunew’s face looked so confused that made the kid laugh at how he looked like.

“I don’t like following what people tell me to do, so I am here, you want to climb up too?”

Nunew looks around to see if someone is there except for them before nodding to the kid. The kid guides him on how he can climb the tree. Later on, both of them are sitting on the branch of the tree, side by side.

“Hi, my name is Yim, and you are?”

“You don’t know me?”

“Should I know you? I am quite new here in this school so I don’t know a lot of people, and they like to call me weird so I don’t have friends.” The kid named Yim, pouts. He is a new student, he came from the province so he’s not used to life in the city.

“Hi Yim, I’m Nunew, do you want to be friends?”

“Are you sure?” Nunew nods enthusiastically. Yim hugs him while saying thank you for being friends with him.

Yim asked why he was crying under the tree and Nunew told him the story, after finishing his story Yim is frowning, lips protruded and head tilted to the side.

“Some people are just so mean, don’t worry Nunew, I’ll be the bestest friend you’ll ever have!”

“Really? Promise?” Nunew sticks his pinky finger and Yim intertwines both of their pinkies. A promise made in a tree branch, a symbol of friendship that will last for a very long time.

They spent more time telling each other things about themselves. As it slowly started to get dark they decided to finally get down. But the branch of the tree that they are sitting on decided to break down as soon as they started moving, sending the two on the ground with broken arms.

In the clinic, instead of crying, both of them are laughing at how the other looks. And the very first picture that they have together is both of them wearing a cast on their arms and bandages on their legs, their eyes almost gone with how wide they are smiling.