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Addicted.

Summary:

Bring your love baby I could bring my shame.
Bring the drugs baby I could bring my pain.
I got my heart right here, I got my scars right here.
Bring the cups baby I can bring the drank.
Bring your body baby I could bring you fame.
And that's my motherfucking words too.
Just let me motherfucking love you.
Listen, I'll give you all I got
Get me off of this I need confidence in myself.
I'll give you all of me, give me all of it, I need all of it to myself.
So tell me you love me......Even though you don't love me.

Notes:

This story is gonna be just a little dark, I want it to hurt a bit but I also want it to be good and filthy cus why not. I hope you enjoy it! If you wanna chat feel free to follow my twitta @slutkahgay

Chapter Text

Hitoshi crept around the sunlit apartment trying to find pieces of his clothing that was thrown around from the night before with one of his recent hookups. The redhead laid sprawled across his massive California King-Sized bed snoring, sheet barely covering their body as they slept peacefully, unaware that Hitoshi was no longer laying there with them. He usually didn't stay the night, but the lay was pretty decent that he didn't even know he'd fallen asleep until he was waking up at the ass crack of dawn. He tiptoed around the living area, before he looked out of the ceiling to floor windows that overlooked the city. He paused momentarily just to take in such a nice view. With a nice, well put together condo like this, redhead here had to be bringing in some good money. He might actually try to remember their name just to come back for the views. Tall skyscrapers that looked as though Spiderman would have a field day swinging from. The fluffy whites of the clouds drifting over the buildings and birds zig zagging their way through the jungle of sky scrapers. He also saw a few littered with people cleaning the windows. 

 

Snapping himself back to his own surroundings and his task at hand, Hitoshi continues picking up his clothes and throwing them on. He made sure his phone and everything was in his pocket before speed walking to the door and slipping into his shoes. After mentally double checking he had absolutely everything he'd come here with, he was out the door without so much as a look back. He was used to this kind of thing. He'd hook up with some random he picked up at a bar, or club. Maybe even Tinder if he didn't want to get out the house much, fool around and then go back home just to repeat the same thing. Other people would just think that Hitoshi was nothing more than a whore, but he himself figured he was just very sexually active. Why would he settle his amazing sexual skills with just one person, right? Right. Hitoshi waited for the elevator doors to open and when they did, A beautiful mahogany tones woman with bubblegum pink coils and beautifully golden eyes caught his attention. Her jeans seemed like they were painted on, crop top exposing her pierced nipples with a small black choker around her neck. Her nails where a bit long, latest iPhone in her hand, cardigan probably the biggest thing on her body as she looked at him through her lashes. Hitoshi could see her size him up, as if she was checking him out before she stepped off of the elevator assuming that Hitoshi was being courteous. They passed one another and Hitoshi caught a whiff of her perfume before the doors closed. She had to be like a sugar baby or something. Hitoshi pressed the floor to the ground level and checked his phone to see where his Uber would be. 

 

The cool air of the city hit Hitoshi the moment he stepped outside. His Uber honked his horn and he stalked over, before hopping into the backseat. Avoiding small talk, Hitoshi placed his earphones in his ears and got comfortable, slumping down in his seat and looking out at the window, watching the buildings and city life blur by. He looked down at his phone seeing it was well over five am. Humming and knowing his best friend was probably getting ready for work, he decided to leave him alone. He needed to be home and showering anyway instead of showering and stealing his best friend's clothes. They for sure weren't nowhere near the same size, Kaminari's joggers seemed to always rise almost up his calf muscles and the shirts were  bit snug or would fit him like a mini crop top or one of those mid-drift tops. If this was any other day where Hitoshi could sashay around his friend's apartment he most likely would, but he was sure his lovely friend was getting ready to work and now he had no one to discuss the lay he just had with ( in great detail as well ). He sighed, sending a text to Kaminari about how he had to tell him about the night he had later one before locking his phone and staring out the window once more. The car slowed to a stop after some time right in front of Hitoshi's building. He mumbles a 'thank you' before exiting the vehicle. He jogged up the few steps into the brick building and heading towards the elevator to his floor. The ride up seemed to be as quiet as his music would let it be before he fished his keys out of his pocket. He picked out his house keys amongst other keys and opened the door only greeted by dullness and absolute quiet. He kicked the door close with his foot, removing his jacket and tossing it on the couch. He never broke his stride as he continued to head o towards his room, removing his shirt and dumping it in the hallway to pick up later. Heading towards his bathroom, dropping articles of clothing on the way there. Once he was in the bathroom he was fully naked and turning on the shower. He places his phone on the counter to charge and stuck his hand into the water too see if it warmed up already. Considering that the steam was starting to circulate through the bathroom, Hitoshi went ahead and stepped inside. 

 

The shower felt amazing. He usually never spends too long in a shower unless it's shower sex, but this time he stayed in the shower just until the water got too cold to bare and he was about to start pruning. He stepped out, using a towel to dry his hair before he used another to dry himself off and walked straight to his room to put some clothes on. He settled for just a pair of jogging pants and no shirt. He picked up the clothes he'd thrown on the floor and placed them in the hamper for a wash maybe later this weekend. He headed towards the kitchen to make himself a cup of coffee before he leaned against the wall and looked out of his window at the city life come alive. Streets starting to be filled with work and school goers. Hitoshi had the luxury of no longer working a day in his life. When he was about eighteen, Hitoshi's father died in an incident leaving his family a fortune considering he was the founder and ceo of a very successful company in Japan. Hitoshi's older brother took over the company, which was fine by him if he had to be honest, that sort of responibility was just not in his agenda being in his late twneites you know? He wanted to live his life to the fullest before he even thought about the responsibilities of owning and watching over a fully functioning company. Hitoshi's been saving his money, using it only for tranportation, bills and groceries. He paid up for his apartment complex in cash so he didn't have to worry about rent. He was good not working and Kaminari envied him for that but there was nothing he could really do now. His mother lived alone in the suburbs, well, aside from her three cats, she was pretty much by herself. She didn't want to sell the house which is what both Hitoshi and his brother said would be for the best. She would've moved with Hitoshi's brother, because his wife would be there looking after her on occassions and she would be around her grandkids much more. It seemed like an okay plan but she was stubborn and adamant that she would not give up the family home, given if she wanted her kids home. Hitoshi hated the wholesome setting. It made him cringe considering he was the one that had yet to get married and live the dream with a picket fence and kids. His mother was already pretty upset to find out that Hitoshi was gay, but once it was clarified that he could get a surrogate or adopt, she was all for it. A mess his family was, but they were his. 

 

Hitoshi's phone had rung from the coffee table and he walked over to pick it up, noticing it was his dad's best friend and his god father, Shouta. If he didn't know any better, he would've assumed that Shouta was his dad and not his actual dad. He pressed the green button before hitting the speaker and flopping down on the couch. 

 

"Your mother wants to know when are you gonna stop being a jezabelle and actually settle down." Shouta's drawl made Hitoshi snort into his coffee, almost as if he just got off the phone with the woman. 

 

"But being a whore is fun." Hitoshi says with a hint of a pout in his voice. He wasn't really pouting, just being a shit because he knew he could. He could hear the eyeroll on the other end of the phone. 

 

"Are you ever gonna grow the fuck up?" Shouta grumbles. 

 

"Only physically." Was Hitoshi's quick reply. "What do I owe the pleasure today, Sho?" 

 

"Just checking in, Kid." He drawls after a yawn. "Haven't heard from you in a while and neither has your mother. We thought one of those Tinder hookups left you in a ditch somewhere." 

 

"So that's what it's come to if she hasn't heard from me in a week?" Hitoshi raised an eyebrow. "Would I at least have clothes on in this said ditch?" 

 

"Hitoshi." His name was spoken in a stern tone which only made him roll his eyes. 

 

"Don't you have work, Old Man?" Hitoshi raised an eyebrow, staring at the darkness of his television. He'd enjoy talking to his God father if he wasn't so adamant on Hitoshi getting his shit together after having a conversation with his mother. It always seemed to happen like this. His mother would vent about how Hitoshi has yet to bring someone to their family gatherings, and how she was afraid he would just waste his life away being a harlot, which would always- without fail, prompt Shouta into calling Hitoshi and give him a lecture about trying to get his life together. It all sounded fine and dandy, but the thing is, Hitoshi didn't have the emotional tools to deal with being with someone exclusively. He didn't want to deal with another person's thoughts and feelings when he couldn't really sort through his own yet. "Teaching your lovely students and what not."

 

"I'm heading there now." The line went silent, and Hitoshi could finally hear Shouta's background. The smooth purring of a car engine with old school jazz music playing quietly in the background. "And I figured you didn't get any sleep last night considering.... you know. So I gave you a call." 

 

"Ah, another 'get your shit together Hitoshi' lecture right?" 

 

"Well if you know what kind of call this is, why wont you.... oh I don't know, get your shit together, Hitoshi?" 

 

"Because I have too much shit that it tends to slip through my hands." Hitoshi says before making a pointed slurping noise as he drank his coffee. 

 

"You're a fucking nightmare, Hitoshi you know that?" Shouta was obviously done with this conversation and it was all Hitoshi wanted from the beginning. "You're so much like your dad it pisses me off sometime." 

 

"Ah, so Pop was a whore before he met my mother then?" Hitoshi smirks. "Seems to me like I'm on the right track." 

 

After a heavy sigh, the line cut off with a beeping noise indicating that Shouta ended the call. Hitoshi snorts letting his phone fall into his lap. He stared up at the ceiling. 

 

Maybe one day.... 

 

----------

 

Hitoshi had woken up late into the evening from the sound of someone entering his home. He raised up just a bit, just to see his electric blonde friend waltzing in with bags of carryout food. Hitoshi blinked awake and rubbed the sleep out his eye as Kaminari closed the door with his foot. The checkered nicely fitted pants Kaminari wore but Hitoshi absolutely hated was paired with a nice black button up. His work lanyard draped around his neck covered in obnoxious and colorful pins in pure Kaminari fashion. He stalked over to Hitoshi, placing the bags on the coffee table and slapping Hitoshi's feet off of the couch for him to flop down on himself. Hitoshi stretched, before getting up and heading towards his kitchen to grab him and Kaminari a few beers. He returned placing them on the table. 

 

"So, was it good?" Kaminari asked once they cracked open the beers and started eating. 

 

"I mean, it was decent." Hitoshi says with a shrug. "It wasn't anything to write home to mom about. Big enough to pick me up though however." 

 

"Holy shit." Kaminari says amazed. "Was he taller than you?" 

 

"Massive." Was Hitoshi's reply. 

 

He'd met Kaminari back in middle school when life was sweet and they didn't have to worry about anything other than missing episodes of their favorite afterschool shows. He was a quirky kid, doe eyed and naive. But alas, those doe eyes seemed to have worn Hitoshi down considering that now they were the best of friends now with over a decade in their history together. He loved Kaminari and as many relationships that Hitoshi had damaged just from lack of being emotionally available, he'd yeet himself if anything happened to Kaminari. But he'd shoot himself in the foot if he ever told Kaminari that himself. That was his best friend. The only person that didn't mind Hitoshi was sleeping around, or if Hitoshi would go weeks on end without speaking to anyone before he popped back in as if nothing happened. As long as Hitoshi still treated him as if he was a fucking human being at the end of the day, that's all he really cared about. 

 

Kaminari snorts. "Dude, I could only dream to get laid as much as you do." 

 

"I mean." Hitoshi chews his food before swallowing and taking a swig of his beer. "I mean, you can always do that. You just want to be traditional about it....Virgin."

 

Kaminari's face lit up in an embarrassed blush as his head shot towards Hitoshi so gives him a smug smirk. "Hitoshi I told you that in confidence!" Kaminari reached over and shoved his friend. Hitoshi laughs. 

 

"It's alright Denks, you'll get laid one day." Hitoshi says patting his shoulder. 

 

"I think Kyoka would leave me before I'm actually ready." Kaminari hums before drinking his beer. 

 

"Are you kidding? Jiro loves you!" Hitoshi shook his head. "Besides, the two of you are poly so it isn't like they're drying up because of you."

 

"Yeah but, sometimes they want to be intimate with me and-" 

 

"Break into a cold sweat?" Hitoshi jokes. "Or hives? Do you throw up from nervousness?" 

 

"Hitoshii, that isn't funny!" Kaminari groans, falling back onto the couch. "What am I gonna do?" 

 

"Watch porn and jack off to get the nerves out." Hitoshi answers nonchalantly. "That way you won't fuck up when you actually see them naked." 

 

Kaminari slumped back into the sofa even further. "Very helpful, thanks." 

 

"You're welcome." Hitoshi grins. 

 

--------

 

"Rise and Shine!" The chipper voice of his ex girlfriend annoyed him to no living end. The blonde turned over on the couch, throwing he covers over his head. 

 

"Katsuki come on, get up." She made herself useful and snatched the covers off of him as he laid there on the couch. Empty liquor bottles scattered around what would've been a well decorated living room. She groans when she kicked aside a few bottles listening to the clang they make as they rolled into each other. "When was the last time you actually cleaned this place?" 

 

"Mina, fuck off, alright?" Katsuki rolls over, head spinning and voice groggy. "Go away and leave me the fuck alone." 

 

"Eiji would hate me if I did that." She says pulling on his arm. "Come on Katsuki, he's waiting in the car for us. Brush your teeth at least." 

 

Katsuki scoffed. There was a time where Mina would tell him to shower. Now, all she cared for was the fact that he'd brushed his teeth. 

 

I guess I really am letting myself go. He thought to himself as he rolled off the couch. He sat up, rubbing his eyes, while his free hand went ahead and reached for the nearest bottle of whiskey he had and turned it up. Mina groans. 

 

"Katsuki, you just woke up don't do this." There was a disappointment in her voice that Katsuki was very fond of. It was the reason why their relationship never really worked out. Mina was the only ever person he loved other than.... well, no he's not doing this. That was the reason he started drinking in the first place. Mina however, was fairly close to getting Katsuki to get his shit together, but she gave up right when he was ready. She figured at that point, he was only doing it to keep her rather than doing it in order to keep his life. 

 

Katsuki looked upwards, catching the look in Mina's eyes and he looked down unable to look at her. Mina meant everything to him. And everytime he disappointed her he felt alot more shitty than what he did before. He felt her soft, manicured hand touch his chin and guide his face towards her, meeting her warm, inviting eyes. 

 

"I'm not upset with you, Katsuki." She says in her usual calming tone, just because she knew how delicate Katsuki was in his own head. "Let's get dressed and go out to eat with Eiji like we said we would, kay?" 

 

Katsuki pursed his lips together. God, he loved this woman so much. If he could just get his shit together. Maybe a life with Mina wouldn't be so bad. He could tell how much she loved him, but to keep dealing with Katsuki the way he was he had no clue as to why she still stuck around. He chucked it up to their mutual friend, Eijirou, but he wasn't really sure.

 

Katsuki managed to get himself off the floor and head to the bathroom to shower and dress. Once he was presentable enough, he stepped out of the bathroom and met Mina in the living room as she typed on her phone. She was gorgeous. One day Katsuki would get his shit together for her. One day. 

 

Mina held his hand as they exit his apartment, and Katsuki felt a bit grounded feeling the warmth of Mina's hand in his. Lately he'd just been going through the motions. Going to work, drinking, trying to be a decent human being. Trying, at least. He felt shitty that he used his friends as a cructch on occassions, but at this point in his life he really didn't have anyone else. His mom haven't talked to him in years, his dad call every now and then despite his mother's wishes. Nobody really gave a single shit about Katsuki's well being except for Mina and Eijirou. He'd risked his whole life for them two. Though his actions clearly showed otherwise. The afternoon sun hit Katsuki and he squinted as he walked to Eijirou's car parked on the curb. Eijirou rolled the window down, his sharp grin also blinding Katsuki as he walked towards the car with Mina. 

 

"Hey man!" He says, turning towards the backseat once Katsuki got inside. 

 

"Why are you always so loud?" Katsuki grumbles, eyes still squinting as he put his seatbelt on. Eijirou chuckles. 

 

"Maybe you just need to wake up more." Eijirou says turning back around as Mina got into the passanger seat. She fixes Eijirou with a look that Eijirou knew all too well. When he looked at Katsuki from the rearview mirror, Katsuki was already looking at him. Thier unspoken conversation quickly making Katsuki advert his eyes and sink further into his seat as he looked out the window. Eijirou cleared his throat and switched the car into drive before pulling off from the curb. 

 

---------

 

Katsuki was back in his home, and the first thing he did was head to his minibar for a drink. He was exhausted being around Mina and Eijirou. They were two people with bright personalities and he often wondered why he not only fell for Mina, but had Eijirou as his best fucking friend. Katsuki had been spiraling for many years now. He knew it, his family knew it, his friends knew it. And the only ones that seemed to care about him were these loud fuckwads he'd met in his college days. Mina was first of course, considering they dated. She approached Katsuki and told him she bet he'd look alot more attractive than what he already was if he just smiled. And of course she was right, the very first time she saw him and his lively feral grin Mina was hooked. She had been friends with Eijirou considering they had a few classes together, which lead Katsuki to meet Eijirou, the two of them hanging out on the daily basis and became really good friends. 

Katsuki's life took a turn for the worse when the news broke that his long time friend, Izuku, had passed away on a job. Katsuki was crushed. His only other best friend was now gone. Instead of dealing with the grief head on, Katsuki turned to liquor. Izuku had been gone for a few years, but everytime Katsuki felt he could deal with himself sober, he'd see those big green eyes and that bright stupid smile and it would just tear him apart. The last conversation he'd ever had with Izuku was a big argument. They hadn't spoken in a couple of days which was normal for them whenever they had a heated conversation that neither of them would budge their views on. One of them would calm down, mostly Izuku and would contact the other, just for them to make up and things would go back to the way they were. This time however, things got pretty ugly. They were going on a week of not speaking when he got the call from Izuku's mother, Inko saying that Izuku had got seriously injured at work and didn't make it through his injuries. Katsuki took it hard. He didn't eat or sleep for days. His funeral wasn't the best, Katsuki was drunk off his ass, wearing dark shades and refused to stand and speak or even walk up to the casket. He avoided everything. He hated himself for not being the bigger person this one time and settled whatever it was they were arguing about. He hadn't gotten over that. And honestly, he doubts he ever will. When Katsuki met Mina however, he felt safe. As if he could let out all his emotions but they were emotions and vulnerability that he just wasn't ready to confront. Mina saw him as this cocky, self assured asshole with a soft side for her. He was sure as shit that she didn't want to deal with a man's emotions. A man being vulnerable at that. 

 

Katsuki took a swig of his drink, the liquor not even stinging his chest anymore from how used to it he had become. Looking around his apartment, not really focusing on anything in particular. His mind was wondering, his chest ached and it wasn't because of the liquor. His phone buzzed. He quickly reached into his pocket to see who was calling him, assuming it was Mina asking if she left something in his apartment. To his surprise however, it was Inko, Izuku's mother. He swallowed the rest of the drink in hihs gladd before he pressed the button to answer. 

 

"Aunty Inko." He says breathlessly, shoving his hand in his hair. "Hi." 

 

"Katsuki, baby how are you?" 

 

A fucking mess. "I'm good. How are you?" He answers. 

 

"Oh you know." She starts after a sigh. "Same old, same old. When are you coming to visit? We're putting something together for Izuku's birthday. I wanted to know if you'll be willing to come out and see everyone."

 

But Izuku won't be there. Katsuki swallowed again. "U-Um, I'm not sure Aunty." He answers shakily, eyes starting to water as he looks up at the ceiling. "I uh, I've just been really busy with work and stuff you know?" 

 

"I know baby." Her voice was so calming and understanding and how could Katsuki lie to her like this? As if he didn't feel shitty enough. "I'll keep you updated and just let me know if you can come or not." 

 

"Yes Ma'am." 

 

"I love you, Katsuki." She coos. It was so geniune and pure. Katsuki sniffed back tears. 

 

"I love you too, Aunty." He says through his tears. "Tell Uncle Toshi I said Hi." 

 

"I will." She says, he could feel her warmth radiating through the phone before the call ended. Katsuki practically slammed his phone on the counter before a sob shook his body. He quickly grabbed his only life jacket and turned it up, chugging.