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Chapter Text

When the bus slows down and then comes to a halt, a warm sensation flutters in Regulus stomach. I’m home, he thinks. A fact that becomes even clearer when he stumbles out of the bus and is greeted by his big brother standing with open arms. Regulus walks over and only hesitates for a second before giving Sirius a shy smile and a quick embrace. Sirius gives him a smile so big that lines curl up on the sides of his mouth. “Fuck Reggie, I can’t believe I’m saying this, but I’ve actually missed your emotionless hugs”, he says as he pulls him in again and rubs the top of his head. Regulus just shrugs.

“I have not missed your snide remarks”, he answers and pulls away to gather his bags and equipment from the compartment under the bus. “Nor, have I missed that nickname”, he lies. He has. At Illvermorny, no one called him anything other than Regulus which first made him feel a sense of relief, as it was what he preferred. But somehow, hearing his brother call him Reggie takes him back to when they were younger, when life wasn’t as complicated, and that gives him a sort of comfort.

“Shut up, you liar”, Sirius continues, seeing through Regulus straight away, as always. Regulus gives him a small grin, and then he is ambushed.

“REGULUS FUCKING BLACK, COME HERE RIGHT THE FUCK NOW!”, he hears a familiar voice scream out while he is almost tackled to the ground by a whirlwind of arms, kisses, and strands of long blonde hair. He gathers himself and gives out grunts and a small laugh.

“Shut up, I know you love my kisses“, she says between placing small kisses all over his cheeks, forehead and nose. He tries to dodge them but that just makes Pandora grab him even harder. When she eventually stops and lets him go, she eyes him up and down, thoroughly. He knows she is scanning him and gives out a concerned sound when she notices the large scar on his neck that he has tried to conceal with his hair.

“I didn’t know it was this big”, she says and looks him begrudgingly in the eyes. Regulus shrugs and his hand automatically goes up to his neck where the scar is. It is healed and has started to go from red to a light pink. It stands out a little and Regulus often finds his fingers go over the thick line, like it is almost comforting to him, he has no idea why.

“Ah, don’t worry, it’s almost healed up completely”, he says and gives her a reassuring smile. “Doesn’t hurt anymore”.

Ever since they were kids and inevitability became friends in the school yard when Pandora beat up a guy for stealing Regulus cookies, she has always cared for him. She often coddles him and makes sure he is doing alright. She can be a menace sometimes, but to be honest, Regulus loves her for doing it. He knows it was hard for Pandora when he was hurt, and when she went and visited him in the hospital, she had even threatened the doctors to make sure he was given the best care.

They’ve been best friends since the cookie stealing incident, and plans on staying best friends forever.

“Are you done”, Sirius exclaims next to them, and bend over to pick up Regulus bag he dropped while being ambushed by Pandora. “Do you want to head home straight away or grab something to eat or…”

“Actually, I kinda want to go to the rink first”, Regulus cuts him off. He feels his heart picking up as soon as he mentions it. 

“Yes, fuck yes, you will love what we’ve done to the place, I’ll take you now”, she says and grabs his hand. Sirius gives a heavy sigh as he watches Regulus being dragged away by Pandora. He is left with all of Regulus bags.

The smell is the first thing that hits him when he steps inside the building. The smell itself he knows isn’t very nice, but to him, the smell of rusty metal benches, sweat and the feeling of cold in his nose feels like home to him. The second thing that hits him is the sound. Sounds of skates against ice, of hockey clubs sliding across it and the blow of a whistle. He has smelt and heard this while being away from Godric’s Hallow, technically all he has done while at Illvermorny has been smelling and listening to ice rinks. But it’s not the same.

It's different when it is where you first took to the ice, while grasping your brother’s hand tightly.

Regulus has all these feelings but would never mention them to anyone. He would rather die, thank you very much.

He walks up and leans on the walls of the rink, looking out over the ice. A hockey practice seems to wrap up and he can see the players huddling up with the coach, Alice, in the middle. She is swearing at them and looks quite annoyed, but Regulus can’t hear what it's about.

“…and we painted the walls Regulus, Alice even let me paint little flowers on them, can you fucking believe that?”

He looks up and realizes that Pandora is waiting for a response. “Wow, Dora, that sounds great”, he says sarcastically and grins. She smacks him on the arm.

“You’re not even listening to me, dickhead”, she exclaims.

“Sirius says I shouldn’t listen to you, you swear too much”, he says and smiles to her, knowing it will rile her up.

“Well, you and your idiot of a brother can suck it”, she angrily continues and folds her arms and looking away. Regulus feels bad for a second.

“Sorry”, he says a little softer. “It’s just a lot for me coming in here”, he continues and glares out over the ice. Pandora does the same and then lets out a squeak.

“It’s not because of him, is it, I thought you were over that”, she lets out and gives a pointed look at Regulus and bounces her head towards the players on the ice.  Regulus straightens himself and his eyes dart out over the ice. Straight away his eyes find the thing that Pandora was indicating to.

The thing, as it is, notices them at that exact moment, smiles and starts skating towards them. Regulus doesn’t have a moment to prepare himself before…

“Regulus, you’re back”. James stops abruptly before them, making ice fly up on Regulus shirt. James leans on his club, and removes his helmet, revealing a hot and flustered face under it. Regulus looks away quickly. “Good to see you, how are you?”, he continues and tries to look Regulus in the eyes. Regulus doesn’t let him, but it takes a lot of effort.

“I was fine, now I’m wet”, he answers and indicates toward his shirt.

“Ah, sorry about that”, James chuckles and starts wiping away the ice from his arm, making Regulus pull away quickly. This makes him loose his focus and he quickly meet James’s eyes. They stare back at him begrudgingly. Fuck. Is all Regulus can think.

“Anyway, Regulus is fine James, we are heading home now actually”, Pandora swoops in when she notices Regulus flinch.

“Did Sirius talk to you about the party?”, James asks.

“No”, Regulus answers and feels a flush of blood go up to his cheeks. What fucking party? Sirius, what are you planning.

“Well, it doesn’t have to be big if you don’t want it, which you probably won’t, but we were thinking of having a gathering at mines and Pandora’s tonight, just to celebrate that you’re home”, James continues and looks up at Pandora as if to get her approval. “Just us four if that will make you feel better?”.

This was something that Regulus was afraid of. His brother and brothers’ best friend, giving him a welcome back party. However, he was afraid that it would be a surprise one, and knowing his brother and James, there is no way that he is getting out of it. He supposes it’s better to just agree to a small gathering.

“A small gathering?”, he asks and shoots up an eyebrow. “Just you, Sirius, Pandora, and me, no one else”, he continues. “If I see any balloons or hear any toasts to my honor, I will smash all your stupid hockey sticks in two, ok?”. He manages to look up but not in James eyes, he’s not making that mistake again. His eyes stay on the root of his nose instead, which honestly is just as bad. James nods eagerly.

“Promise, no toasts to your honor”, he laughs.

“Yes, yes, yes, a party!”, Pandora exclaims and claps her hands. Regulus sigh as he turns around and heads out of the building, Pandora dancing after him.

“Small gathering”, he corrects her, but he doesn’t even think that she can hear him.

James is in the shower when he hears the doorbell and a minute after, his father’s voice shouting that Sirius is here. He quickly rinses the shampoo out of his hair before stepping out and drying off. Thank God Sirius is here, they have a lot of balloons to blow up.

“No, not that one”, Sirius says while glancing up at James from the magazine he is reading. “You need something tighter around the arms”, he continues and turns over a page.

“What, really?”, James responds and turns over to the mirror to look at himself. “This is tight enough, Sirius”, he says and gestures to his arms.

Sirius is splayed out on James’s bed and helping him pick something out to wear for the party tonight. Although, the help isn’t really working as his only comments are that James should show off more of his muscles or wear a deeper neckline. James is happy for his support though.

Telling Sirius that he was in love with his little brother was one of the scariest things that James had ever done. But he couldn’t help it, he had to. It was a week after Regulus had gone and James was missing him a lot. They were out on the roof of the garden shed in his backyard and were drinking vodka with mixers when Sirius had brought up Regulus. James felt such a guilt for not telling his brother about his feelings, so he had just blurted it out.

Sirius had gone quiet after that. They didn’t talk for a week. The worst week of James’s life. Never had he spent that much time away from Sirius, and he thought he had lost him forever. Sirius and Regulus relationship was complicated. They had grown up in a very strict household were showing emotions or being vulnerable meant that you were weak. They were, as Sirius would say emotionally fucked up. There was a lot of competition between the Black brothers, both academically and when it came to skating. But Sirius had always loved his brother dearly and was very protective of him.

James had gotten a letter from Sirius, one week after the revelation. When they were younger they used to write letters to each other, just for fun, and run to the others mail box and stick it in there for the other to find. Those letters contained funny stories, gossip about people from school or hockey tips. This letter that James got just said: I miss you. Don’t like that you want to fuck my baby brother but knowing you I know there is nothing I can do to stop it. Therefore, I give you my blessing. I’m coming over this evening. Yours forever, Sirius. Sirius did come over that evening, and they had never gone a week from talking to each other again after that.

Little did he know that Sirius one year later would become obsessed with the idea of James and Regulus being together, when he realized that it would make him and James real brothers. Sirius had promised to be the best wing man ever for James when Regulus were to come back from Illvermorny.

He had kept that promise and here they were, Sirius telling his best friends to wear trousers that accentuates what he said is James’s greatest weapon. A lot can happen in a year.

When James sees all the people that are pouring into the living room, he gets a bit nervous. He knows Regulus won’t like this. He knows it was a bad idea to invite Frank, but what was he supposed to do, they had overheard them talking about it at the rink. Frank had brough along more players and Mary, who Sirius insisted on inviting, had brought some of her friends. It’s not that Regulus hates these people, James knows that some of them are friends of Regulus’s, but he also knows that Regulus would have preferred a quiet dinner the first night of him being in Godric’s Hollow. Pandora invited Evan, who James knows Regulus is fond of, much to his dismay.

Evan Rosier is sitting in an armchair talking to Pandora who is sitting on the armrest. They seem to be giggling. James can see why Regulus likes Evan, he is very funny and, even though James’s doesn’t like to admit it, nice to look at. He’s the same age as Regulus and Pandora and they went to the same class before Regulus left. Evan has dropped out of school now and works at the local café.

Evan gives Pandora a quick nudge and she turns around and straightens up a bit on the chair. James can see that the new girl, Lily Evans, are walking up to them. Pandora tucks her hair behind her ear and gives Lily a warm smile. James rolls his eyes and laughs a little to himself. It’s so painfully obvious that Pandora has a crush on the new girl, but James thinks it’s sweet.

James walks around and make small talk with the guests. He is thriving in social settings and loves being a host. He compliments people on their outfits and makes sure everyone has something to drink at all times.

“THE TARGET HAS BEEN SPOTTED, TARGET INCOMING”, Sirius shouts as he jumps down from the kitchen counter where he has been propped up observing the street outside. Pandora gets up from the chair and runs over to the door, telling everyone to let her break the news to Regulus first. James can see that she is nervous too.

Chapter Text

The Potters house, where also Pandora has been living since she was 10 years old, is just a short walk from the Blacks house. They live on separate ends of the street, much to their delight when they were younger. Euphemia and Fleamont Potter were used to Regulus and Sirius being over at their house at all hours of the day, and kind as they were, never saw them as a bother.

It had always been Pandora and Regulus, and James and Sirius. Of course, they could do things the four of them together, but the two bonds had been created and were not to be messed with. Pandora moved in with the Potters after she and Regulus had become friends. That was when her parents died, and since she had no other family in the country and refused to move to her distant relatives, the Potters decided to take her under their wings. Euphemia and Fleamont had always wanted many children, and he remembers James being over the moon by the thought of getting a sister. A little sister at that, as Pandora was one year younger than him.

Big brother James, he was good at it. Regulus could see it. Pandora, the one who always cared for people, has being well taken care of by her new brother, which Regulus was quietly very thankful for. 

Regulus made the trip to the Potter House alone, apparently Sirius had to be there early for some preparations, but he refused to let Regulus in on what that really meant. Regulus is actually a little nervous. Even though he doesn’t like to admit it he had a small crisis in front of the mirror when deciding what to wear. He ended up with black polo under an open maroon button up shirt. He straightens said shirt before he raises his hand to knock on the door. He smiles as he sees Pandoras smiling face through the mirror on the door. Then his smile disappears.

“Sooo, please don’t be mad, it didn’t mean to get this out of control”, Pandora lets out as she opens the door and Regulus is met with music and chatter of more people than what would be expected from a small gathering. He pushes inside and gives her a stern look. “Sirius asked Mary to come of course, and Frank overheard our conversation with James in the rink and asked if he and some players could come. And I asked Evan and Lily, remember her, I told you about her, she is amazing, anyways I’m so sorry Reggie”, she blurts out and looks genuinely sorry.

Regulus feels a little betrayed but can’t really say he was surprised by this turn of events. “Dora, shut up, it’s fine, I will have to meet all of these people sometime anyway”, he says with an exhale. “I just wished I had a calm first evening back”.

There is a relief on Pandora’s face, and she pulls him in for a hug.

“Man of the hour!”, Sirius exclaims as he approaches with a drink in his hand, and, to no surprise, followed by James, also clutching a cup and grinning. “My sweet baby brother who has returned from his adventures up north”, Sirius continues and raises his cup. Regulus guesses it’s not his first drink.

“Who regrets even thinking about returning back”, Regulus says with a touch of sarcasm and rolls his eyes. But he also smiles, he can’t help himself. Actually, it feels quite nice to see his old friends, or in some cases only acquaintances, all there for him. He lets his brother and Pandora usher him into the living room where they have lit all the candles, even then chandelier, and blown up at least 60 balloons, because of course they have.

“Wow, it looks like you really missed me”, Regulus says turning to his brother.

“It was James who insisted on the balloons, he blew up most of them, Dora only took over when he fainted”, Sirius blurts out and nods to James. James is just grinning and sips from his cup.

Regulus hesitates but smiles back to James. “Can I get one of those?”, he asks and points to the cup in James’s hand. Pandora is on her feet exclaiming “Right on baby” and rushes out in the kitchen.

“I’m not a liar, Minnie actually cried and begged me to stay for my last year”, Evan exclaims throwing both his hands up in the air. “She said she would be missing the brightest student in her class”, he continues with a smirk. Regulus and Pandora can’t contain themselves with laughter and Regulus needs rest on Pandora to try to contain it.

“Sure, Evan, that exactly what she said”, Pandora lets out with a chuckle.

A cling on a glass interrupts them and they all look up to where to sound originates from. Regulus is not surprised when he sees his brother climbing up a chair while clutching his drink.  

“Because my dear brother hates talking to crowds, and I myself is quite fond of it, I will propose a toast”, Sirius begins while James turns down the music.  Regulus is crammed up on the sofa with Pandora on one side and Evan on the other. He gives Sirius a stern look but he just smirks back. “My wonderful, talented, extraordinary baby brother is back with us. I know I speak for not only myself, but for everyone in this room, when I say that you have been sorely missed”. Sirius points to everyone in the room and smiles to Regulus. Regulus wants to disappear into the cushions of the sofa.

“I just met him tonight!” Lily shouts to Sirius and laughs which makes Pandora choke on laughter. Even Regulus giggles at that.

“Well, I know you have been just as besotted with my brother as everyone else here”, Sirius claims. “Anyway, please don’t interrupt my toast”, Sirius continues. “If Reggie was brave enough to stand here and address you all, I’m sure he would say ‘Thank you all for coming, I hate you all’”, he says while raising his cup. “Cheers to our sunshine Reggie!”. People raises their cups and cheers to him. Regulus does indeed hate them all. Especially his brother.

The rest of the evening is just Regulus chatting with all the people he’s not been seeing for the last year. He realizes it gets easier further down the evening, or maybe it’s because of his drink. It’s quite nice. He talks to his friends from figure skating and gets an update on everything that has happened. Apparently, Severus has had an injury and is out of the ice for a few weeks. Regulus hates to admit it, but that doesn’t make him feel sad. One less to worry about for the scholarship, he allows himself to think before he regrets it. Severus is a horrible person, but he is very good on the ice, and Regulus has always known he is the one to beat for the scholarship. He also chats with Frank, but all he wants to talk about is hockey, and if Regulus wants to talk about hockey he would have gone to James. One interesting turn of events is that Frank is quite obsessed with Alice, the coach of the team. He keeps talking about how hot she is and how he likes when she shouts at him. Regulus can’t help but to be amused at that. It's quite sweet. Frank has always come across as very dominant, and that he’s falling for an even more dominant person is a bit hilarious.

Regulus realizes that he’s missed these people more than the thought.

James starts the evening feeling cheerful, giddy, and full of hope. But this feeling diminishes as the evening goes on. Now he just feels miserable. It’s just that he feels so alone. So loveless. He knows this is not true. He is quite loved, by a lot of people. But he just can’t shake the feeling.

Sirius is off in an armchair quite busy with Mary. James isn’t sure what’s going on, as the only thing that is visible is a tangle of arms and the black curly strands of Mary’s hair all over Sirius face, but if he guesses, he will say that they are their mouths are battling it out. This is a fairly new thing, and as much as it pleases James that he and Mary seems to be hitting it off, it also makes him a bit jealous. Sirius is often busy with Mary nowadays, and James can feel him slipping away more and more from him. He realizes he needs to have a talk with Sirius about this, saying that he needs to pay more attention to his best friend. Especially when his best friend is miserable now that the love of his life is back in town and won’t even look his way.

James was planning on talking to Regulus tonight, he really was. But it’s just not happening. Regulus has been busy all evening, mostly chatting away with Pandora and Evan. James knows he can just walk up to them and join their conversation, but he is not sure Regulus would want that. Preferrable he would like to get him on his own.

Eventually he just gives up, he walks up to his room and slams down on the bed with his head in the pillow. He lets out a sigh that has been wanting to get out of him for hours.

Regulus can understand why Pandora thinks Lily is amazing. She really is. It usually takes a while for Regulus to get on with people, but Lily is easy. She doesn’t ask to many questions and makes Regulus laugh on multiple occasions. She is just funny. Regulus also thinks it's funny how nervous Pandora gets around her.

“Your hair colour is really close to the colour the sky gets sometimes, you know when it's kinda pink, but also orange, and like really nice”, she blurts out and interrupts a conversation about books between Regulus, Evan and Lily. Lily swings around and meets Pandora’s eyes and gives a small smile. Regulus rolls his eyes.

“Thank you”, Lily answers quizzically. “I like yours too, same colour as snow”, she continues and raises a hand to run her fingers through Pandora’s hair. Pandora goes red in the face.

“Thanks, you can touch it as much as you want”, Pandora blurts out and looks dreamily at Lily. “Can I touch yours too?”, she continues. Regulus gives Evan an amused look and they lean back in the sofa to observe the show going on before them.

“Yes, you may touch my hair, Dora”, Lily chokes out and smiles at Pandora. Pandora leans in and does just that.

Regulus sips his drink and looks around the room. He looks for James. He doesn’t want to admit it, but he’s kind of annoyed that James has not tried to talk to him yet. Of course, he doesn’t want to talk to James. But he would like James to want to talk to him. Or maybe he just wants to talk to James. James looks really good tonight. Regulus sighs to himself when realizing that maybe he has had one drink to many. He excuses himself and gets up from the sofa and leaves his friends when Pandora not so discretely asks Lily what kind of conditioner she uses, and leaves to look for James.

Eventually he finds James. He is in his room. Regulus knocks on his door and can’t help but to smile a little when he hears James telling him to come inside. James is laying on his bed and fiddles with something but sits up rather abruptly when he sees that it is Regulus who came in. Regulus looks around the room. Literally nothing has changed in here since he last was in there. There are still the posters of James favorite hockey teams on the walls, pictures of him and Sirius, him, and Pandora and even one with all four of them, propped up on his bookcase. Regulus even notices the stupid letters from Sirius that they sent each other when they were kids, pinned up behind his desk.

“Hi”, James says and smiles to Regulus. He seems a little relieved.

“Hi”, he answers while talking a few steps into the room. “Nothing has changed in here”, he continues and gestures to the room.

“You know me, don’t like change”, James continues and leans back on his hands on the bed, which makes his shirt strain a little. Regulus promptly does not look at him.

“Yeah”, is the only thing that comes out.

“You look nice”, James lets out. Regulus eyes dart up at him. “Sorry”, he then quickly continues. “But it’s hard not to notice”. Regulus mind distinctively goes you look fucking nice yourself but he stops the words from leaving his mouth. He just sighs.

James coughs a little and straightens up again. “I’m also sorry about other things”, he says while his eyes try to find Regulus’s. “It’s weird between us now, I don’t like it, I wish I could go back and change it”, he lets out and looks down at his hands.

“You’re the one who is weird, sneaking up to hide in your room”, Regulus says sharply. “I’m fine”, he continues. This is in fact not true at all. Regulus also feels weird. “It’s fine, James, I’m over it”, he lies, hoping James won’t notice. He sits down on the bed next to James.

“You are?”, James says, sounding quite surprised. “You were in love with me for multiple years, but it only takes you one year to fall out of it”, he continues, and Regulus notices the sides of his mouth turning up a bit. Regulus bites his lip.

“Crush”, he corrects him. “Not love, just a crush”, he continues sternly. He notices James looking at him with a smile.

“Sure”.

They sit in silence for a while. Regulus doesn’t know what he should say. He doesn’t want to leave though. He has really missed being close to James, even though he would rather die than admit it. James doesn’t seem to be bothered by the silence. Now that they are closer, Regulus can see that it is a tiny hockey puck that James is fiddling with. He balances it between his fingers like you would with a coin, and lets it slide over them. Of course, it is a hockey puck. Regulus tries not to focus on James’s fingers, but it turns out to be an impossible task. He notices little scars on his fingers, and he immediately wants to kiss them. Shut the fuck up, no you don’t his mind goes at that thought.

“Maybe we can just try to be friends again?”, James says and stops running the puck over his fingers. “I mean, it won’t be like before, I know that, but I just miss being around you”, he continues and looks up at Regulus. Regulus is defeated. He looks up at James and meets his eyes. He holds his gaze for a while and then they are interrupted by a shout. It is Pandora screaming and Regulus wants to kill her.

“REGGIE WHERE THE FUCK ARE YOU, LILY JUST HUGGED ME!”, she shouts from downstairs. He hears the giggles and laughter that follows from his other friends. Regulus lets out a sigh and then a small laugh. James laughs too.

“Guess you should go”, he says and smiles at him. No, I’m staying right here he thinks, but he won’t let his mouth say that.

“She’s horrible”, he says as he gets up. “I love her”.

“Yeah, me too”, James says. Regulus stops and turns around before he is out the door. He hesitates for a moment.

“You look nice to, James”, he says quickly before he leaves the room.

Chapter Text

“She smells really good, you noticed that?”, Pandora says dreamily to James as he ties his shoes. “Of course, you wouldn’t have noticed it, as you didn’t fucking HUG HER!”, she continues.

“Language, Dora”. She can hear Effie’s voice from the living room.

“Sorry”, she squeaks and pulls her hand to her mouth. James is grinning at her.

“I’m sure she smells lovely”, he says and grabs her arm to pull her out of the house while shouting a hurried “goodbye” to Effie and Monty.  Pandora follows him out.

Pandora has been walking on clouds since the party this weekend, and all she can think about is how good it felt to hug Lily. She keeps telling herself it wasn’t that kind of hug that friends share, that it was more intimate. She also tells everyone around her about this. Even though she knows James probably is tired of her by this point, he is still encouraging. Pandora loves him.

“So, what’s your next plan of action?”, he asks as they start walking to school. Pandora sighs.

“Maybe I should just tell her that I love her”, she says dreamily. “Ask her to be my wife and bear my children”.

“With how you have behaved around her in the few weeks she’s been here, I think she already knows”, James says and gives her a warm smile. “You haven’t been subtle, honey”, he adds. Pandora knows. She’s probably made a fool out of herself but frankly, she doesn’t care. Lily is the most interesting thing that has happened in Godric’s Hollow for a while, and she is so funny, and she smells so nice. Pandora is going mad for her.

Lily is one year older than her, and will be in the same classes as James, Sirius, and of course Regulus. With being away, Regulus has done double the academic work, and is now allowed to skip the first year of A levels and jump straight to the second. Pandora doesn’t like that she won’t be in the same class as Regulus anymore. They have been stuck together since she beat up that stupid bully for stealing Regulus’s cookies when they were ten, but she is happy for him as this is something he’s been working towards. And now he gets to be in the same class as Lily Fucking Evans, which also makes her extremely jealous. If Pandora is being reasonable, this is probably for the best. Less distractions. Pandora is starting her A levels now and needs to focus on her marks. It doesn’t matter how good she is on the ice, she still needs good marks to be accepted into Hogwarts.

She looks over at James and notices that he seems to be stuck on something in his mind. His feet are kicking a little rock with every step he takes. He seems very focused on this task.

“I noticed that you disappeared at the party”, she says and smiles to him. “Did anything happen?”, she continues.

He breaks away from his thoughts and looks up at her. He gives a little cough. “No, I was just a bit tired”, he answers and smiles to her. “Don’t get any nasty ideas”, he continues with a smirk.

“No, I didn’t mean anything like that”, she hurries to say. “I just wanted to know if everything is ok”.

“Don’t worry, Dora, it's all good”.

“I will be expecting more from you this year”, Mrs. McGonagall explains as the class is about to come to an end. “I want you all to be as prepared as you can for the tests in spring, and I have good faith in you all”, she continues and smiles to her class. James feels a wave of encouragement flow through him with her words.

James has never been a bad student; no assignment has ever been turned in too late and he has never had to break it to his parents that he has gotten a bad mark for a test. He feels some pride in that. It hasn’t been easy, especially with all the hockey practices he has done too.  This year will be no excuse. Sirius has been teaching him about manifesting things and how it is easier to accomplish great things if you manifest it to the universe. James smiles as he makes a mental manifestation list in his head for this year:

1. Finish his A levels with good marks
2. Really focus on hockey
3. Be accepted to Hogwarts
4. Make Regulus realize that he still loves James and that they will both be accepted into Hogwarts and be together and live with each other and be the perfect ice hockey and figure skater couple that they are meant to be

James cringes at that last bit, and feels a bit childish, but now it’s done. It’s out in the world and manifested. He can’t wait to tell Sirius.

When McGonagall dismisses the class, he hurries to gather his things and practically runs to Regulus. He even bumps into him. Regulus sighs when he sees James.

“How has your first day been?”, James asks and gives Regulus a quick smile. Regulus shuffles away all his things into his backpack and swings it over his shoulders. James thinks it looks extremely cool.

“Fine”, he says and starts walking out of the classroom not really giving any notice to James. James doesn’t care and follows him.

“Fine?”, James asks. “Can you give me more than one syllable?”, he continues jokingly.

“I don’t know what to say James, it was fine”, he sighs. “Until the end of the day when this annoying prick showed up and started shooting questions at me”, he continues sternly. James can see a hint of a smile at the corner of Regulus’s mouth, and he takes that as an invitation to continue their banter.

“Sounds like an idiot, you clearly want to be left alone”, he retorts as he follows Regulus out of the school. “You should tell him to please go fuck off”.

“Yes, clearly”, Regulus says, and makes it even more obvious that he is in fact smiling. He turns to James and looks him straight in the eyes. James is taken aback by this, and he takes a sharp breath. “Fuck off”, Regulus just says and holds his gaze. “Please”, he continues. James inhales and grins at Regulus, not breaking the eye connection.

“I love it when you say ‘please’ while staring into my eyes”, James says earnestly. He tries to discern if that comment was too much for Regulus. James can tell nothing from Regulus’s eyes, and it takes a while before he gets a response from him. After a few seconds, Regulus shrugs and continues walking. James feels abandoned. He also feels a bit nervous. Did he take it too far?

“Can I walk you to the rink if I stay super quiet the whole way there?”, he says as he takes a few running steps to catch up to Regulus.

“How do you know I’m going there?”, he asks. “And why are you not walking there with my brother?”, he adds and looks quizzically up at James.

“Are you going there?”, he asks and shoots up an eyebrow.

“I am”, Regulus answers shortly.

“Okay, I will take you there”, he lets out with a sigh. “You don’t have to beg me”, he continues with a smirk.

“You’re weird”, Regulus comes back.

James smacks his tongue and adjusts his backpack on his shoulders. “Sirius is skipping today, he told me he’s hanging out with Mary”, he says and sighs.

“I should have guessed”, Regulus answers. He really should have. Sirius spends most days at Mary’s. And all evenings giving James intricate details of what they had done together. James did find it funny at first, hearing about all romantic things him and Mary did together, but as it went on, he got more and more annoyed with it. He would never tell Sirius though; he is indeed happy for him. He just wishes he could have someone to do it with too. Correction, he wishes he could do it with one Regulus Black.

The ice rink is divided today. Split down the middle. Half of it is occupied with rabid hockey players skating back and forth, practicing on their speed and turns. Regulus has problems blocking out the sound of grunts and Alice high pitched voice screaming at the players. Regulus is very happy that he does not play hockey, a game for neandertals he thinks and chuckles a bit to himself.

The other part of the rink is less occupied. With Severus being injured and Pandora having a dentist appointment today, it is only him and Dorcas present for the afternoon practice. As soon as Regulus stepped out on the ice, he felt a surge of something in him. Familiarity, he had thought to himself. Belonging, was another word that popped into his mind. His mind usually goes blank and fuzzy when he is on the ice. Not fuzzy bad, fuzzy cosy. As he practices his turns and jumps, only a few words and comments from their coach, Kingsley, goes through. Kingsley doesn’t interrupt too much, not when he notices that Regulus is in his fuzzy zone. Regulus appreciates that.

Something does penetrate Regulus’s barrier after a while though. Someone is shouting something from the benches. Regulus stops and his eyes dart over to where the noise came from. He frowns when he notices the gangly boy with long dark hair. Severus. Lovely.

“Great to have you back, I’ve been missing making fun of your attempts at triple axels”, he snorts at Regulus. Regulus rolls his eyes and tries to block him out. Regulus collects himself and slides over the eyes trying to get back to his fuzzy state of nothingness. He is interrupted again after a few seconds.

“If you’re not careful you will fall and cut yourself again”, Severus shouts out over the ice. “Maybe this time your whole head will come off”, he continues and laughs. Regulus’s eyes dart over to him, and he feels his heart start to beat faster. He is definitely out of his fuzzy zone. He tries to form a comeback but before he can even collect his thoughts someone is ramming into the wall where Severus is standing.

“Shut up you pathetic slimey git”. James is reaching over the wall to grab hold of Severus, but he ducks away and stumbles back. Regulus is quick on his feet and skates over to them trying to pull James back.

“Stop it James, it’s not worth it”, he says calmly and puts his hands on James’s shoulders to try to get him to back off. James turns around and looks at Regulus. Regulus can see heat in James’s eyes.

“He can’t say that he wants your head off!”, James exclaims and points to Severus. Regulus lets out a little laugh and slides in front of James, his hands on James’s arms. He tries to look into James’s eyes, but when he notices the pearl of sweat on his forehead his eyes dart down to where his hands are placed.

“Shut up, he didn’t want my head off you deranged medieval lord”, Regulus says with a smile. “Anyways, he’s just nervous”, he continues. “He knows I will beat him for the scholarship and want to psych me”, he adds a bit louder to make sure that Severus can hear him. “The pathetic idiot is so nervous that he has retorted to ill practiced snide remarks, probably things his dad has told him and that he is now trying out for himself”, he continues. This gets a laugh out of James and Regulus can’t help but look at his smile. James’s perfect teeth gleam at him. Regulus feels his stomach drop a little. He should not be looking at James’s mouth. He tries to look away. Nope, not working.

Regulus can feel James relax a little under his hands. “Also, lay off the gallant knight act, please”, Regulus says and pulls his hands off James. He starts skating backwards and meet James’s eyes as he skates away from. He gives James a smile before he does a dramatic turn.

Usually when Sirius leaves Mary’s house he goes straight to James’s. He usually slumps down on a chair in the Potter kitchen and starts telling James all about what he and Mary had done, while James hustles around in the kitchen, boiling tea and bringing out biscuits. Then they sit and gossip for hours before Effie eventually comments on how late it is and how Sirius should probably go home, or his parents will be concerned. Sirius really likes his and James’s tea and gossip sessions.

When he leaves Mary tonight and looks down at his watch and sees that it is already midnight, and realizes that James will already be asleep, he hurries straight home. He opens the door quietly and tries to sneak up the stairs as stealthily as he can. At the top of the stairs, out of nowhere, their cat turns up and Sirius accidently steps on his tail. The cat lets out a load meow. “Fuck off Kreacher”, Sirius whispers. He waits a second to make sure the coast is clear and then return to his journey to his room. As he reaches the door, he hears someone clear his throat behind him.

“It’s midnight”, he hears his father declare silently.

“Sorry”, he lets out and looks up at his father. He feels concern rise in him. “Lost track of time”, he adds and meets his father’s eyes. He keeps their eyes locked a few seconds until his Orion continues.

“Bit late for a school night, I’d say”, Orion continues and crosses his arms over his chest.

“Won’t happen again”, Sirius lies.

“I know that’s a lie, and I will have you know that the next time it happens there will be consequences”, his father continues, still holding eye contact with Sirius. Sirius smile a little back at him, wondering where he got that courage from.

“I don’t doubt there will be”, he retorts. “Can I go to sleep now?”, he continues.

“You may”, Orion says and starts walking over to the master bedroom. He doesn’t say anything else and Sirius slides into his bedroom and gives out a big sigh when he as closes the door behind him.

Chapter Text

As the weeks go by, Regulus slowly gets back into the groove of things. Between studying and skating, there isn’t really much time to do anything else. Regulus falls into the routine of normal life and the days just seem to flash by, but he doesn’t really mind. He’s not fighting much with Sirius either, which is nice for a change. During their childhood they were almost constantly bickering about something, and sometimes they would be so cross with each other that they wouldn’t speak for a couple of days. Luckily, they seem to have grown out of it and Regulus actually likes spending time with his brother.

“Look at my answer for question four”, Sirius says and shoves down his notebook right on top of Regulus’s. Regulus sighs and let go of his pencil and grabs the notebook. He looks down at the calculations that Sirius has come up with. “I don’t understand how x is supposed to be 420”, Sirius continues and leans back on the chair with a look of annoyance. They’ve been helping each other study in the kitchen and are currently going over previous exam questions for calculus that Mr. Slughorn had handed out to them.

Regulus eyes the numbers and spots the mistake rather quickly. “Here”, he points down to some numbers. “This is wrong, change it to 28, and then continue as you did”, he explains and hands back the notebook to Sirius. Sirius looks down on at the paper. “And then maybe practice on some simple addition”, he continues with a smirk and returns to his own problem.

“Fuck you”, Sirius retorts with a grunt. “It’s too late, my brain is tired,” he continues. He smacks the notebook shut and throws it across the table. “Can we do something else now?”, he asks. Regulus sighs and looks up at his brother. Regulus brain is also quite tired, and he wouldn’t mind a little tea break. He nods and closes his notebook too.

“Tea?”, he asks Sirius and gets up from his chair to start boiling the water.

“Yes, please”, Sirius answers and gives him a smile. He reaches up to his hair to untie it so that strands of black curly hair fall over his shoulders. Sirius hair is getting quite long. He gives a drawn-out yawn.

“Are you playing on Sunday?”, Regulus asks while reaching for the cups on the self.

“Yeah”, Sirius lets out with another sigh. He sounds annoyed. “Alice won’t let me skip”, he continues. Regulus eyes dart over to him.

“You know you have to actually play games if you want to get into Hogwarts”, he says with a stern look.

“I know”.

“And maybe also seem happy about playing”, Regulus continues.

Sirius doesn’t give an answer to that, he just stares down at his fingers.

“Are you happy about playing?”, Regulus asks. Sirius starts plucking at some black nail polish that’s left on his fingernails. It takes a few seconds before he answers.

“Yeah”, he lets out after a few seconds. “Ecstatic”, he adds quite sarcastically.

The kettle gives a whistle and Regulus pours two cups and slide one over in front of Sirius. “Want to talk about it?”, he asks Sirius and starts sipping his tea.

After returning from Illvermorny, he has noticed that Sirius hasn’t quite been himself. He’s still an obnoxious big brother, nothing has changed in that regard. But Regulus has noticed the lack of spark in him. He often skips out on hockey practice and is usually returning home late in the night. Before, when Sirius got like this, Regulus would turn to James and ask him to talk to Sirius. James is usually good at bringing Sirius out of his occasional slumps. Regulus wishes James was here now. But he’s not. So, Regulus must try.

“Not really”, Sirius answers and gives a little smile to Regulus. Well, he tried.

“Nice”, Regulus responds and smiles back, but he narrows his eyes questionably at his brother.

“Don’t worry Reggie”, Sirius continues and sips his cup. “You don’t have to do this, I’ve got James for these kinds of things”, he adds. Regulus feels both relived and a little annoyed. Why can’t he talk to Regulus about this. Regulus is quite a good listener, and he does occasionally give reasonable advice.

They sit in silence for a while, just sips on their teas.

Regulus phone lets out a ding in his pocket and he slips down his hands to grab it.

“Who’s texting you?”, Sirius asks before the screen even lights up to show him.

“None, of your business”, he answers and slides the message open. He smiles down at his phone. The message simply says, ‘can we chat?’ and Regulus gets up from his chair and grabs his cup. He starts walking to his room and leaves Sirius with a bewildered look in the kitchen.

“Hey, who is it?”, he shouts as Regulus leaves the kitchen.

“A friend”, Regulus shouts back.

“Is he hot?”, Sirius continues.

“Extremely”.

Regulus slumps down on his bed and dial the number. He feels a sense of excitement bubbling up. After two signals he gets an answer.

“Hi”, he hears Remus voice on the other end.

“Hi, how are you?”, Regulus says and smiles. He’s really missed Remus’s voice.

“Ok”, he answers. Regulus can practically hear the grin on Remus’s face. “I did it”, he continues.

Regulus laughs out. “How was it?”, he asks excitedly. “Tell me everything”.

“Ok”, he says again. “It was fine I guess”, he adds. Regulus wants to hit him.

“Fine?”, Regulus asks, trying to get something more out of him.

For quite some time now, Remus had been trying to get into Barty’s pants. Remus, who had become a close friend in the short time that Regulus had been away, had let Regulus in on all the details of this task. Regulus was quite sad when he realized that it would not be fulfilled until it was time for him to leave to go back home, but he told Remus to keep him updated on all advancements. Apparently, the task had now been achieved.

“I don’t know, it was nice, I liked it, a little messy”, he eventually lets out and chuckles.

“Messy?”, Regulus chokes out in a giggle.

“I don’t know, I don’t think he has had any experience either really”, he continues. “Neither of us really knew what we were supposed to do”, he adds.

They both go quite for a second. Regulus notices that Remus doesn’t sound as happy as he thought the achievement of this task would make him. He feels a sense of worry rise in him.

“But… it’s fine? I mean, you’re fine?”, he asks quietly.

“Hahah yes”, Remus answers and Regulus can feel that he’s genuine. “Just, I guess it… wasn’t as mind blowing as I thought it would be”, he continues. They both goe quite for a while.

“Anyway, how are you?”, Remus changes the subject. “How is it with James?”, he continues suggestively.

Regulus sighs and lean back on the pillows of his bed. “Really bad”, he answers with a grunt. “He’s grown out his hair a little”, he continues with a dreamy voice. “I really want to just grab it”.

“Hold on, let me get my tea”, Remus says Regulus and they both break out in a laughter.

“Mary’s here”, James says as he is approaching Sirius in the locker rooms. “That’s very cute”, he adds with a sigh.

“Yeah, I suppose”, Sirius answers as he is tightening his skates.

“Don’t you think it’s cute?”, James continues. “I would have loved that, my partner coming to watch me practice”, he says dreamily while removing his shirt and start to unpack his gear.

“Yeah, it’s nice of her, I know she doesn’t really like the game so it’s sweet that she comes”, Sirius says and stands up to stretch. He hates putting all his gear on. So much stuff. He starts to sweat straight away. He’s not even started the practice yet. He looks up at James. James has really been putting the effort in these last months. He’s not missed a single practice and has been hitting the gym multiple times a week, which you can see on his arms and abs. Sirius sighs to himself. He himself is rather lean, and no matter how much effort he puts in, he will never be as big as James. Should have stuck with figure skating he tells himself.

Sirius wants the practice to be over before it has even started. He skates out on the ice and up to Alice. She divides them into two teams and tells them that they will have a practice match, so that she can assess their strengths and weaknesses for the upcoming match on Sunday. He looks up at the benches and notices Mary smile down at him. He feels a little better and waves to her. She has brought a book with her and flips it open as she gets comfortable and puts her leg up on the bench in front of her. Sirius feels warm inside.

He's known Mary for ages, and there had never been any special attraction between them before. Then over the summer at a party at Mary’s they had been alone together, and Mary had kissed him out of nowhere. She was rather drunk and after the kiss she had run away. The next day when they talked about it, Sirius had said that he didn’t mind and that he quite liked it. Then they did it again. And again. Now he probably knew Mary’s mouth better than his own. Mary was the first person he had slept with. It was nice. They took it very slow, and Sirius was careful not to go to fast with her. The more they did it, the better it got.

They hadn’t defined their relationship yet or anything, but now, this act of showing up to Sirius hockey practice, felt like a sign that they were indeed moving towards something other than a make out partner. You wouldn’t come to watch someone’s practice if you don’t want to be more than a hook up, right? Sirius feels giddy at this thought. Does he have a girlfriend? He needs to discuss this with James. And Mary, he guesses.

The practice is soon over, it went by fast, and Sirius spent most of the time thinking about last night when he and Mary had cuddled on her bed. As he walks off towards the locker rooms Mary catches up with him.

“Hi”, she says and pulls him in for a hug. Sirius is all sweaty from the practice, but she doesn’t seem to mind. He hugs her back.

“Hi, did you enjoy it?”, he asks with a smirk.

“The practice or the book?”, she answers and pulls away from him. Her hand comes up over her mouth to hide a laugh.

“It's sweet that you came”, he continues and try to find her eyes. “I’m kind of glad you didn’t pay much attention, I was rubbish”, he adds and looks down at his skates.

“Don’t worry, I hear you are playing against The Burrows, and I hear they’re rubbish too”, she tells him reassuringly. “You only need to be a little less rubbish than they are”, she continues and pats his shoulder. He gives her a quick kiss before he leaves her to go change.

“Wait for me here, I’ll be quick”, he says to her before he enters the locker room.

The locker room is warm, and everyone is already in the showers. Sirius slumps down on the bench and starts to untie his skates.

“Hey, Sirius”, Frank says as he comes out of the showers with a towel around his waist. Sirius looks up at him. “I’m having a little get together after the game on Sunday”, he continues. “You know, a celebration if we win, or a cry party if we lose, you are welcome”, he adds and smiles at him.

“Nice, I’ll be there!”, Sirius says and beams up at him. There’s nothing that can get Sirius out of a bad mood quicker than a party. “Are you inviting Alice?”, Sirius asks with a smirk.

“I haven’t had the courage to do it yet, but yes, that is the plan”, he lets out with a sigh.

Sirius laughs and gives him a reassuring smile. “I believe in you, son”.

“You taste like raspberry”, Sirius hums into Mary’s mouth. Mary smiles.

“What?”, she chokes out and pulls away from him. They are tangled together on Mary’s bed. They walked straight to Mary’s after the practice and practically ran up the stairs to her bedroom. Luckily her parents weren’t home. They had now spent a good hour just chatting and kissing on her bed.

Sirius lets out a laugh. “You know, the little red berry”, he answers and leans forward to her lips again. “I like it”, he continues. Mary meets his lips, and Sirius can feel the smile against his lips.

“I am familiar with the berry, Sirius”, she says and opens her lips and slips her tongue into his mouth. Sirius hand goes up in her hair and strokes it out of her face as he continues kissing her. “It’s a new lip balm, you like it?”, she asks and pulls away for second. She pouts her lips as if to show him.

“Yes, very much”, he answers seductively. “Can I borrow some?”, he continues. He leans in again, but she turns her cheek to him and starts laughing. Mary’s laugh is very contagious, and Sirius starts too.

They sit up on the bed and Mary stretches her back. Sirius grins at her. “Did I wear you out?”, he asks with a smirk.

“Shut up”, she just answers and smiles at him. When Mary smiles, little dimples form on her cheeks. Sirius likes that very much. He looks at them for a second and then look into her eyes. He thinks this would probably be a good time for him to ask her about what he thought about before. About the girlfriend thing. Sirius takes a deep breath as if to prepare himself. What if it gets weird? What if that’s not at all what Mary has in mind? What if she doesn’t want to spend more time with him? He suddenly feels very hot and thinks that his face has probably gone a bit red. Mary is nice, she would never be mean to him.

Mary looks up at him questioningly. He smiles reassuringly to her. He needs to discuss this with James first. Yes, that’s what he will do. Then he will ask her.

“Could I borrow that lip balm or not?”, he lets out with a grin. Mary shoves him down and gives him a quick kiss. “There you have it”, she says swiftly.

Chapter Text

It’s quite calm at the Three Hockey Sticks this evening. A few girls sit and chat at the table across from the room and then there’s an elderly couple gathering their things to leave. The man holds out his wife’s coat and helps her slide into it and she gives him a tender kiss on the cheek as a thank you. Pandora can’t help but smile at them. Elderly people tend to do this to her.

“Any last calls?” Evan says as he slides up to their booth. He plucks his pen from behind his ear and folds out a note pad. “Please say no so I can come hang with you for a bit,” he adds with a smirk at them.

“Yeah, we only want to order some of your company,” Pandora says and smiles up at him. He releases a sigh and sits down next to her. He picks up his phone and starts smiling at the screen. Pandora locks eyes with Regulus and he gives her a little smile. “Great company!” she exclaims.

Evan doesn’t hear her, and his fingers starts sliding over the screen to compose a text. Pandora feels a little curious, but drops that thought immediately when the door to the café opens and she sees Lily come in.

Pandora sits up a little and clears her throat, which alerts Regulus and when she nods over to where Lily is walking up to the girls, he follows her gaze.

“Dora,” he leans forward and whispers suggestively. “I think it’s time”, he continues and gives her an encouraging look. Her heart immediately starts to pick up and she swallows hard.

Pandora has been gathering her nerves to ask Lily out on a date for a couple of days now. She tells herself that she is ready, but there hasn’t been a perfect time yet. Preferably, she would want to ask Lily when they are alone together, but there has never been such an opportunity. When she then discussed this with Regulus, he told her to just do it. He seemed pretty sure that Lily would say yes to her. Pandora feels very giddy at this thought.

Pandora smiles at him and breaths out before she looks up at the table with the girls. She notices that they are huddled together close, and she can hear whispers and giggles. She feels a clump in her stomach. Then Lily gets up. She tosses her hair over her shoulders and starts walking determinedly over to her and Regulus’s booth.

“Omg, she’s coming here”, she whispers to Regulus with quickly. Be cool, she wants to talk to Regulus Pandora tells herself. But why would she want to talk to Regulus? What if she’s coming to talk to me? she argues with herself. She doesn’t have enough time to come up with an answer, as Lily has reached their table and sits down next to Regulus. Right opposite to Pandora. Okay.

“Hi guys!”, Lily exclaims and beams at them. Regulus nods to her and then return his attention to his book. “Studying?”, Lily asks and gestures to the notebooks and course books splayed out on the table in front of them.

“No”, Pandora says quickly. “I mean, yes…”, she continues. “… I mean, we did study, but not now, we are not studying now”, she adds and can practically feel her face go red from the effort to form a conclusive sentence. When Regulus hears her struggling he puts down his book on the table, folds his arms and sits back.

Lily smiles at her. “Yeah, you do need to take breaks sometimes”, she says and starts gathering her hair up into a ponytail. “That’s when the information really sticks”, she continues and tightens her ponytail. Pandora notices a few strands of her hair falls and they frame her face perfectly. She needs to put in physical effort not to reach up and tuck the strands behind Lily’s ear. Lily looks straight at Pandora.

“Mhm”, Pandora answers.

“You going to the game on Sunday?”, Regulus says. Lily turns her attention to him instead, and Pandora feels like she has been robbed. Regulus you fucking thief she thinks.

“Yes, I was planning to”, she answers. “I’m not really into hockey, but everyone seems so excited about it. Don’t want to miss what the fuss is about”, she continues.

“Yes, the fuss is very nice”, Pandora lets out, trying to get Lily’s attention again. She takes a deep breath. “Maybe I can take you and I can show you the fuss?”, she lets out quickly. She then immediately looks down at the table.

“Oh, that would be really nice!”, Lily answers and smiles reassuringly at Pandora. Pandora just beams up at her. Did she ask Lily on a date? Does this count? It’s a date, right?

“Maybe we can meet up before and grab a coffee or something?”, Lily asks her. Oh, now it’s a date alright.  

“Yes we can”, Pandora answers. “..I mean, yeah sure, that would be lovely”, she blushes.

“Nice, I’ll text you”, Lily lets out. Lily then leans over the table, pull up her hand up to Pandoras face and adjusts a strand of hair behind Pandora’s ear. “Sorry”, she says. “That was bothering me”.

Lily then gets up, give them a quick wave, and returns to her friends. Pandora is frozen.

“That was quite something”, Regulus chokes out after a second.

Pandora sighs. “She will text me”, she blurts out. “She will text me and then we will have coffee”, she continues dreamily.

“I would do anything to eavesdrop on that date”, Regulus says and starts laughing. Even Evan looks up from his phone and chuckles.  

As soon as Regulus has returned home, he hurries up to his room and falls onto his bed. He is fucking exhausted. He’s just going to stay here for a little while, just a few minutes and then he will continue with McGonagall’s assignment. He really will. Just. A few. Minutes.

Regulus wakes up to a load ding and sees his phone light up next to him. He grunts and reaches over it. Fuck. He fell asleep.

He opens the text, it’s from Remus. It’s a meme. He woke up from his beautiful nap for a meme. Regulus grunts again and lets out a big yawn. He looks at the time. Oh. It’s the middle of the night. He rubs his eyes and starts to form a quite rude response to Remus about how he shouldn’t send him memes in the middle of the night. He adds a winky face in the end, to make sure Remus gets it the right way.

He gets up to go brush his teeth and get properly ready for bed.

When he enters his room again, he hears the response from Remus. He jumps down on the bed and grabs his phone. His eyes dart over the screen. It’s not from Remus. It’s from James.

He slides open the text slowly. James never texts him. Is Sirius ok? Regulus looks up. He’s pretty sure he heard Bowie blast from Sirius room when he came home before. Like, 90% sure. He reads the message.

“Hi. Hi? Idk how to start this. Anyways, I can’t sleep and I’m thinking about you. I think I might be having a little panic attack right now. Yay me! I just can’t stop feeling so sorry about how I left things last year and I can’t stand you being angry with me anymore. I just want to tell you I’m sorry and say that I should have handled it better. With more care. Because you opened up to me and I just froze. Not cool, James. Since that day I haven’t stopped thinking about you and… yeah. I just wanted you to know that.”

Regulus freezes. He re-reads the text and stops at the second to last sentence. He wants to get past it, but his eyes can't seem to move. His mind goes back to that day. The day he felt like he was about to burst.

It had literally been the day before he was leaving, the evening before even. He had said all his goodbyes to his friend, and everything was packed and ready. He had been lying in his bed, much like right now, and stared up at the roof. He remembers that he felt like something was not finished. Like there was something else he had to do before he left. After a while he had shot up from the bed and rushed out the house. He didn’t even tie his shoelaces which made him fall while he was running to James’s house. He laughs to himself.  He was fucking bleeding from scrapes on his knees when he was running to tell the boy he loved that he loved him. He cringes at that now.

He remembers running up to James’s window and silently calling out his name. James had run down to him, looking very confused to the sight of a bewildered Regulus with bloody knees in the middle of the night. Filled with a rush of determination, Regulus had told James. Told him about how he felt. How he had felt for years. Regulus remembers everything just running out of him like someone had turned on the tap at full force. James just took it. He looked at Regulus and took it. Then he did nothing. It was like all the water flowing from Regulus’s tap had frozen over him.

Regulus shoves his head in his pillow at the memory. The memory of standing in front on James, completely bare, everything out. And getting nothing back.

Regulus returns to the present and reads the message from James again. Before he can think a second thought about it, his fingers flow over the letters and he presses send before he can change his mind. He then reads what he just sent.

“Why did you freeze?”.

A second later he gets the response.

“Are you up? Sorry, I didn’t mean to wake you up.”

He then gets another message.

“I think it was just a lot. I wasn’t prepared…. It was kind of an ambush you know…”.

Regulus smiles a little to himself. He formulates a response to James.

“How could you not have known?”

He starts mindlessly shaking his legs as he waits for the response. He bites his lip and they he hears the ding.

“Because I’m a thick idiot”, James’s answers. Regulus smiles down at the phone.

“Glad we can agree on something”, he sends back. Then adds “What would you have done if you were prepared? If you did know.”

Regulus immediately regrets his question. He throws the phone across the bed. Then crawls over to pick it up straight away. Because he is weak. And because his heart is beating harder than ever. He notices the bubble with the three dots and realizes that James is typing back. Then the bubbles go away. Then they come back again.

“I would have pulled you in and kissed you, and I wouldn’t have stopped until you had to get on that bus”.

Regulus wants to throw up.

When Pandora sees Lily approach her, she has to restrain herself from actually rubbing her eyes to clear her vision, like in a cartoon. Lily is a vision. She has put on red lipstick and a dress and beams at Pandora as she gets closer. Pandora can’t breathe when Lily pulls her in for a hug.

“Hi”, Lily beams at her.

“You look lovely”, Pandora says. “And also, hi”, she adds and starts to blush.

“You too, Dora”.

Pandora gathers herself and gestures toward the café. “Thanks, want to go in?”, she asks and smiles at Lily. Lily nods.

Godric’s Hollow isn’t exactly overflowing with cafés, but Pandora would rather die than go to the Three Hockey Sticks, where Evan works. The other option is a shabby café a bit from the town center, but it will have to do. It’s close to the rink, so that’s good.

Lily orders a cappuccino and Pandora orders a tea. She’s already so hyped up so it might not be a good idea to add caffeine to the mix. They sit down at a table by the windows.

“So, the game, who do we know that are playing?”, Lily shoots at her excitedly.

“Well, my brother James and his friend Sirius are on the team. Then there’s Marlene, and Frank of course”. She counts the players on her fingers.

“Hang on, is James your brother?”, Lily asks quizzically.

“Well, not technically”, Pandora says and adjusts on her seat. “But I’ve lived with the Potters for about 8 years now, so it feels like it”, she continues and looks at Lily.

When it had just happened, Pandora hated talking about her parents and when people asked why she lived with the Potters she would just shut down. But as the years went on, she had gotten used to the questions and now she didn’t mind them.

Lily looks concerned and a bit confused. “If you don’t mind me asking, why did you move in with them?”, she asks and takes a sip from her cup.

“My parents died… eight years ago… in a house fire”, she says with a breath. She keeps going while she has momentum. “Dad helped me out of the house and then he went in to get mum, but they didn’t make it”. Pandora feels a sting at the memory.

Lily searches for Pandora’s gaze. She doesn’t say anything for a few seconds. Just looks at Pandora with concern.

“I’m very sorry to hear that, I had no idea”, is everything she says. She nudges Pandora’s hand that is firmly grabbing her cup, and Pandora lets the cup go. Lily slides her hand into Pandoras. “We don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to”, she says. “But, if you want to then we can do that too”, she adds and gives Pandora a little smile.

“I miss them”, Pandora says and give a small smile to Lily. “But, it’s fine, I know they look down on me with pride”, she continues.

“Oh, for sure”, Lily says.

“Although, I think they would have liked it if I didn’t swear as much as I do”, Pandora chokes out and starts laughing a little. Lily giggles at that.

“You do have a foul mouth sometimes”, Lily adds between giggles.

The rest of the date continues without any problems. Once you get over the dead parent conversation, it's usually smooth sailing. Lily tells Pandora about how she grew up in different towns all over Britain, because her dad’s work forces them to move around a lot. She has a lot of funny stories about people she’s met and friends she’s made along the way. Pandora tells Lily about her paintings and promises that she will show Lily someday.

When they pack up their things to head to the hockey game, Pandora slips her hand into Lily’s. “Is this ok?”, she asks.

“Very ok”, Lily answers and tugs on her hand.  

Chapter Text

As James gathers speed and swishes across the ice with the puck and hauls it away in Frank’s direction, Regulus reaches down to grab Pandoras hand. He squeezes her hand and feel her squeezing it back tightly. Frank catches the puck and shoves it towards the goal with an elegant flick of his stick. Then the crowd roars in excitement. Regulus lets go of Pandoras hand and they both jump up in the air. He looks over at the clock and sees that it is only seconds left.

The players on the ice smashes into each other screams out in joy. Then the whistle blows, and the game is over. They won. Regulus claps his hands and looks over to Pandora who is turning to Lily to give her a hug while she is practically jumping up and down. The excitement on the ice is even more wild than on the bleachers, and Regulus can see Frank sliding on his knees while showing a clenched fist in the air.

His eyes dart over to James, who is removing his helmet. He looks over at the bleachers where he, Pandora and Lily stands, and gives them the biggest smile. Regulus can't help but to beam back at him. God, he looks good.

Pandora grabs Lily’s and Regulus’s hands and start darting over to the ice, making Regulus almost trip. She rushes over to the walls that surrounds the rink and calls out for James. He immediately starts skating towards her and give her a hug when he reaches her.

“That was so fucking exciting!”, she exclaims when she pulls away from the hug. “I thought it was hopeless, then you snatched the puck from that big girl and…” she pretends that she’s holding a hockey stick and shoots with it. “God, it was so cool!!”, she continues excitedly.

“Hahaha, thanks”, James lets out. Regulus can hear that he is out of breath. He’s panting and rests on his hockey stick for support, chest heaving.

“Good game, James”, Lily says and smiles to James. James just beams at her.

James looks at Regulus for a second, their eyes meeting for a second. James is smiling to him and then looks away shily. Regulus wants to say something, he really wants to. But what?

“Good game”, he decides to go with and adds a little smile. “Wasn’t too boring, I didn’t fall asleep even once”, he continues jokingly. James looks up at him again and smiles even bigger.

“Wow, don’t flatter me”, James says. Then they are interrupted. Another applause and encouraging shouts come from the crowd. Regulus looks out on the ice and his hands immediately goes up to his mouth. James looks confused at him and turns around and lets out a laugh.

On the ice, Alice had run out to Frank on the ice, and they are now kissing. More like full on snogging, out on the ice in front of everyone. He’s tossed his helmet to the side and his hands are on Alice back and then he is lifting her up, still not breaking apart from her lips. She tugs her legs around his waist. Regulus breaks out in a laugh and meet James’s eyes who is also laughing. He looks so happy. Regulus knows James is thriving right now. He loves soppy romantic public displays of affection.

He turns back to the couple on the ice and that’s when Regulus notices that Sirius is skating right towards Frank and Alice, quite determined. And then the rest of the players follow him. James too. They all crash into the couple, knocking them over.

“ALICE DON’T BREAK HIM, WE NEED HIM FOR THE FINALS!”, he hears Sirius exclaim between laughter.

The doorbell rings and Regulus can hear Sirius sprinting to it. He hears James’s and Pandoras voices from downstairs.

“Reggie is in his room”, Regulus hears Sirius say to Pandora as they come up the stairs. A second later Pandora bursts into his room.

“Well?”, she says as she is spinning around. “Do I look good?”, she asks and gestures to her outfit. She is wearing a big pick skirt with embroidered flowers on, which looks very good on her. She wiggles her hips so the skirt flows around her legs.

“You look perfect, Dora”, Regulus says genuinely to her. “Did you make it yourself?”, he asks and walks over and runs his fingers over the tiny flowers.

“Yes, I did, finished it half a bloody hour ago”, she says. “It’s lilies”, she adds with a smirk. Regulus turn to her face and laughs. Of course Pandora would embroider lilies on her skirt.

She leans closer to him and almost whisper. “Wait till you see James, he’s gone all out”, she says with a smirk. Regulus backs away and shoves her slightly on the arm.

“Shut up”, he says and goes red. Pandora definitely notice.

“He’s oozing”, she adds and picks up a brush from Regulus’s desk and starts brushing through her hair. “Like, you can practically smell he fire he’s on”, she continues, and Regulus wants to disappear. He lets out a whine and Pandora shoots around to him and eyes him up and down. He shoots out his middle finger to her and she starts laughing.

“Can we go now?”, Regulus asks, trying to change the topic.

“Yes, but are you ready to face him?”, she asks dramatically. Regulus grabs her arm and shoves her out of the door.

“Sirius, James, let’s go!”, he shouts as he knocks on Sirius’s door. He hears mumbling inside and then Sirius opens the door slightly.

“One second, brother”, he says with strict voice. “James isn’t quite prepared yet”, he adds and then Regulus hears James walk over to Sirius.

“Shut up Sirius”, James hisses and shuts the door. He can hear the two friends mumbling behind the door. Regulus turns to Pandora with a confused look.

“What... what are they doing?”, he asks, but Pandora doesn’t have time to respond before the door opens again. This time it is James.

Regulus is quite taken aback by this. James is oozing. He’s combed back his hair a little to pull his curls away from his face, and, behind his glasses, Regulus can see that he’s wearing a little eye liner. Regulus wants to die. He’s just going to lay down and die right here, right now.

James wears a black t-shirt tucked into a black pair of jeans. Regulus has never seen James look this cool. He’s not even sure he has seen James ever wear black. He’s always so colorful He reminds him vaguely of John Travolta from when he was in Grease, something that doesn’t bother Regulus at all.

“We’re ready”, James says and squeezes past Regulus. Regulus can smell him. God. It’s really, very good. He looks down at the floor to try to hide the flush of red that must be very apparent on his cheeks and then he notices that James is still wearing his red converse. This makes Regulus smile.

“Uhm, yes… Let’s go”, he manages to squeeze out.

Franks living room is hot, and loud. Filled with music and laughter. There are many people there, apparently a lot of people wanted to celebrate their win. Frank is nowhere to be seen though. As soon as Alice came, they snuck away, and James hasn’t seen them all night.

James had thought that it would be much like the last party, where Sirius had spent the whole evening with Mary. But he was wrong. Sirius had never left his side all evening, which makes James very happy. However, he wouldn’t actually mind being left alone for just a second.  

James had a plan. Carefully thought out. He had really put effort into his look tonight, and he thinks that Regulus liked it. Sirius had decided James’s outfit, and told him that Regulus would go mad for the Danny Zuko vibe. According to Sirius, Regulus had once told him that the rugged thug turned softy had been Regulus’s sexual awakening. Regulus had been very quiet when they walked here, and James could feel him stealing glances of him from time to time. His plan had simply been to put on his charm on Regulus and flirt the hell out of him.

Regulus looked very nice this evening too. But on the other hand, he always looks perfect.  Regulus is a little shorter than him, and a lot leaner. When they stand next to each other, Regulus forehead is exactly at the height of James’s lips. Many, many, times, James has thought about how easy it would be to lean in and kiss his forehead. James can feel his heart beat start to pick up. He wonders what the kiss would taste like. What Regulus would taste like.

He stands up quickly and looks bewildered at Sirius and Marlene next to him, who seems to be in deep conversation.

“What’s up?”, Marlene asks and looks up at him, puzzled.

“I… um, I need some air, be right back”, he coughs out and head for the door.

When he gets out, he walks over to the fence and leans towards it. He takes deep breaths and tries to calm his heart. It takes a few minutes, but then it goes back to normal. He stretches a little and sighs. How is it possible to be this attracted to someone, he asks himself. He then starts to laugh a little to himself. He’s pathetic.

“What’s funny?”.

He looks around to see who is talking to him. That’s when he notices Severus standing a bit further away. He squints his eyes, he kind of looks a little sad.

“What’s so fucking funny? Leave me alone!”, Severus says a little louder. James puts his hands up like he is about to surrender.

“No, nothing’s funny, I’m just… out for some air”, James says. “I... wasn’t laughing at you, I swear, I didn’t even see you there?”, he continues carefully. James has been quite cross with Severus since he made that comment to Regulus about cutting his head off. Yeah, that was a bit dramatic. But seeing Severus like this, he feels his heart tug a little. He looks miserable. “Are you alright?”, he adds and starts to slowly approach Severus, like you would a wounded animal.

“Yes, don’t come here, just leave”, Severus snorts out and backs up a little. James stops in his step.

“Yeah, no, I won’t disturb you”, he says reassuringly. “Do you need me to get anyone?”, he adds after a few seconds of silence.

“No”, Severus answers. “I was just going to leave”.

“Sure”, James says. He starts backing off to head inside again. When he’s about to open the door, he looks over to where he left Severus, but he’s not there anymore. James shrugs it off, but can't help but feel a little uneasy.

“GET OFF THE TABLE!”.

“Never!”.

James hurries into the living room and is met with quite a sight. Sirius is climbing onto the table and attempts to shake Franks hands off him. They are both struggling but eventually Frank lets go and falls into a pit of laughter on the floor. Sirius is standing up on the table and reaches both his arms out and swings his head back as he gets himself ready for the chorus.

“HOLD ME CLOSER TINY DANCER”, he practically screams out. The people in front of him laughs and screams with him. “COUNT THE HEADLIGHTS ON THE HIGHWAAAAAAAY”, they continue. James laughs to himself as he looks around the room.

He raises a hand and sways along with the melody. He has forgotten everything about his weird encounter with Severus just minutes ago. He spots Pandora and grabs her and swings her around him while singing along with his friends.

As the song comes to an end, Pandora leaps into his arms and he spins her around him. Pandora accidently tickles him and he loses his balance and they both tumble down on the floor. They just lay there and laugh.

He then realizes that someone is offering their hand to him. He grabs it without hesitation and is hauled up from the floor. He regains his balance and sees Regulus in front of him. Regulus is smiling at him. James doesn’t let go of his hand.

“Careful, idiot”, Regulus says swiftly. Then he leans into James a little and says quietly. “I think the team needs you intact for the finals”. James closes his eyes and the room spins. “He’s stupid, I don’t know why you are friends with him”, Regulus continues, his face impossibly close to James’s. James can still feel Regulus’s hand in his. Regulus cold hand and his warm one, creating a perfect equilibrium.

“You share 50% DNA with him”, James answers with a smile. Regulus immediately rolls his eyes.

“The stupidity is in the 50% we don’t share, I’m very sure of this”, he scoffs and reaches up to put a strand of hair behind his ear. James just nods reassuringly. They go quite for a second and James glances down at their hands that are still linked together. He reaches out and grabs Regulus’s other hand. Regulus lets him. They start to sway a little.

“Do you think I’m stupid too?”, James asks him with a crooked smile.

“Yes, obviously”. 

“They why are you friends with me?”, James continues quizzically.

“By proximity”, Regulus answers and gives a sigh. “But… I think you have gotten smarter by the years, maybe there might actually be something in there”, he continues.

“Hahaha, I always strive to improve myself”, James says with a laugh. “So, you won’t give up on me?”, he adds.

“Not yet”, Regulus answers. Then before he can say anything else Regulus goes stiff.

“No... wh... what is it?”, James asks as Regulus drops his hands and backs of a little.

“I WILL KILL HIM”, Regulus says through gritted teeth and turns around to charge at Sirius who is by the speaker. Sirius lets out a yelp and shuffles between the people trying to run for safety. James is very confused. Then he hears Olivia Newton-John’s voice over the speakers as the chorus comes on and he smiles.

“But now, there’s nowhere to hideeee, since you pushed my love aside, I’m out of my head, hopelessly devoted to youuuuu”.

Chapter Text

“Regulus, where are you going?”, Sirius hears his father say with a stern voice. Regulus stops in his step and lets out a heavy sigh. He’s got his plate of dinner in his hands and gives it a sad glance.

“Can I please eat in my room?”, Regulus asks while still looking at the food on his plate.

“Of course not, this is a family dinner, your mother has spent a long time cooking it”, Orion continues. Regulus glances over at his mother. “Get over your childish spat with your brother and sit down”.

Regulus turns back to the table and sits down as far away as possible from Sirius. He starts eating quickly. Regulus looks over at Sirius and Sirius tries to give him a smile. It is not answered.

They eat in silence.

Regulus has been angry at him since the party yesterday. He’s not even spoken to him once since he tackled him to the ground at Franks place and screamed at his face. Sirius and Regulus have been in countless fights over the years, and it always goes the same way. First Regulus lashes out at him. At this step the best thing you can do is to surrender. Then comes the silence where Regulus just behaves like a grumpy twat. This is the point where Sirius slowly tries to warm him up again, with smiles, kind words or helping him with various things. When Regulus starts to look at him again, Sirius knows it’s time for the apology. Sirius guesses that they are at this point now.

“I don’t like it when you wear your hair like that”, Sirius mother says, interrupting him in his thoughts. “You should wear it down, and get a haircut”, she adds with a stern look. Sirius scoffs and rolls his eyes. His hair is loosely tied up in a bun on his head. This is both because he doesn’t want it to get in his food, but also because he looks extremely cool with it.

“Don’t roll your eyes at me”, she continues angrily.

“Sorry, mother”. He reaches up and lets down his hair and shakes his hair slightly to make it swoosh around his head. Regulus looks at him with an annoyed look.

“It’s too long, I will make an appointment at the barber for this week”, she says. She stands up and starts clearing the table. Sirius gives a sigh and doesn’t even bother to answer.

“Thanks for dinner”, Sirius says and leaves for his room. He can sense Regulus eyes on his back.

Sirius hears a ding on his phone and looks quickly at the screen. It’s a text from Mary.

“Stop ignoring me”, it reads.

Sirius clicks the phone off and returns to his nail polish. He’s chosen a dark blue colour and plans to add some glitter to it. He’s not yet succeeded on the art of painting his own fingernails, but he is getting there. It is easier to do it to someone else, and he’s gotten a bit of practice on Mary and occasionally James. He soon hears another ding.

“I know you are getting my texts, you idiot. Meet me tomorrow and you can explain why you have behaved like a child these last couple of days”.

He shoves the phone on the bed and reaches over to turn up the volume on his speaker. He can’t bother with Mary now. He knows he’s being a dickhead and that she deserves better, but he’s just so tired of everything. It’s just a lot. It’s too much. Now he just wants to sit here and blast music and paint his nails.

There is a heavy knock on the door and then Regulus bursts in. “Turn it down”, he says with a demanding tone. Sirius doesn’t even look up and just continues with his nails. When Sirius doesn’t turn it down, Regulus stomps over and lowers the volume himself.

“Hey, rude”, Sirius scoffs and places the little brush in the paint flask. He looks up at Regulus, he’s standing with his arms crossed and looks down at Sirius. “Sorry”, he sighs.

“I’m mad at you”, Regulus says and looks around Sirius room. Sirius starts blowing on his nails to make them dry faster.

“I know”, he says looking up at Regulus. “I was stupid, and drunk, and thought it would be funny”, he continues. He guesses this is a good time to try to make up with Regulus. “I’m sorry, I really am”.

Regulus rolls his eyes. “You dressed him up as Danny Zuko and played that song when we were dancing? That was so embarrassing”, Regulus adds. Now he’s not looking sad anymore. He starts pacing the room. “You embarrassed me in front of everyone! And I bet it made James feel super weird too… Not that I care about how he feels… but you should, he is your best friend”, he continues.

“I know it was weird”, Sirius says but gives a little smile. “I’m sorry, I won’t meddle with your relationship anymore”, he adds and looks quizzically at Regulus. Regulus stops.

“There’s no relationship”, he says sternly. Sirius raises his had to surrender.

“No, of course not”, he says.

“Fuck you”, Regulus says after a few seconds. Then he gives Sirius a quick smile. Sirius relaxes and grins at his brother.

“Love you too, Reg”.

Regulus plops down on Sirius bed, his hand accidently touches Sirius phone, and the screen lights up. Sirius darts for it but Regulus is faster. He holds the phone out of reach from Sirius.

“Looks like Mary is pissed off at you too”, Regulus says and tosses the phone to Sirius when he has read her message.

“Shut up”, Sirius says and puts the phone in his back pocket.

“You not gonna answer her?”, Regulus asks. Sirius doesn’t answer straight away. He gives a long sigh and start to fiddle with his hands in his lap.

“I think I should end things with her”, he says after some hesitation. “I know that it would be stupid because she is so amazing… I don’t know… I just don’t feel excited about it anymore”, he blurts out. “And she deserves someone that is excited about her”. He sighs again. It felt kinda good to say it out loud.

“She really is amazing”, is Regulus response. “And so are you”, he continues. “You both deserves to be amazing and to be in love, and if you aren’t then maybe breaking up is a good decision”.

“Yeah… It’s just, with everything... I can't really focus on her now”, Sirius says.

“What everything?”, Regulus asks, then comes with a suggestion. “Hockey?”.

“Hockey, studies, our lovely parents”, he starts listing. “My bloody upcoming hair cut”, he adds and rubs his forehead. Regulus sighs. He reaches over to pat him on his head.

“Winning that game was great, but it didn’t make me feel as happy as it did before”, Sirius continues. “I don’t even think I like it anymore”.

“I kind of noticed”, Regulus says and looks at Sirius with concern.

“Should I quit?”, Sirius asks his little brother.

“Don’t ask me, I know I’m way smarter than you, but some things you need to figure out yourself”, Regulus answers.

“So, you won’t tell me what I should do about Mary either”, Sirius asks with a smirk.

“Answer her”, he says and stands up. “Don’t be a dick to her”, he continues while walking out his room.

“Anyway, did you talk to your parents yet?”, Remus asks him, trying to change the subject. Regulus has been trying to lure out information about Barty from him, but for a change, Remus is rather tightlipped about the subject.

“Yes, I did, they actually agreed”, Regulus says rather happily into the speaker of his phone.

“Really?!”, Remus adds, also sounding very cheerful.

“Well, I told them you are my dear friend who is a very talented figure skater from Illvermorny that wanted to come over here and practice with me”, Regulus adds and gives out a laugh. “They liked that and said you can stay in the guest room”.

“Omg, Regulus, I don’t even know how to stand on skates”, he can hear Remus giggle in the other end of the line.

“Well, they don’t have to know that”, Regulus answers. “I’ll take you to the rink and skate for you, you’ll watch, and then we tell them nothing”, he continues.

“They won’t come to the rink?”, Remus asks.

“No way, they’ve never stepped inside that place ever”, Regulus answers. “They like the idea of their sons being skaters but would never actually come to a game or a competition to watch me or Sirius”.

“How supportive of them”.

“Yes, that’s why I love them dearly”, Regulus adds a bit sarcastically. There are a few quiet seconds between them.

“Will Sirius be there too?”, Remus asks swiftly.

“Eh, yes, he lives here”, Regulus answers bluntly.

“Great, I would love to meet him”, Remus says. “Do you have any plans for what we can do?”, he continues. Regulus thinks for a second. He hadn’t really thought much about what he would do when Remus comes to visit. There is not really much to do in Godric’s Hollow. Damn, he would have to have a think about this.

“Don’t worry, I’ll treat you to a good visit”, he says jokingly, gaining a small huff from Remus.

Mary stands up when she spots Sirius walking over. She gives him a stern look. When Sirius reaches her, he tugs her in for a quick hug.

“How are you?”, he asks, looking down at the pavement. She doesn’t even answer his question.

“Let’s go for a walk”, she says and starts walking.

They had decided to meet at the central park. They usually come here to chill in the gazebo with a book or a magazine. Sirius remembers a day in August when they had spent the afternoon there together. Sirius had been sitting on a bench and Mary had laid down with her head in his lap and read aloud from her book to him. He hadn’t paid much attention to the story, rather to the beautiful person laying in his lap wishing she would finish reading so they could snog. Eventually she had finished her book, and there had indeed been some snogging.

He had a feeling there would be no snogging today.

“I have some things to tell you”, Mary starts while they are walking. “But I think you owe me an explanation first”.

Sirius puts his hands in his pockets and sighs. “Yeah, I suppose so”, he says. “Sorry, Mary… I..”. He didn’t get to do much more explaining.

“You have been ignoring my calls and texts, you didn’t spend any time with me at Franks party”, she interrupts him and her voice gets a bit higher. “You stood me up, Sirius, last week when we were supposed to meet”. She tries to look at him. He can’t look up at her. He feels so sorry. He hadn’t even realized he had been ignoring her so much these last days. “If something is the matter, then tell me”, she says.

Sirius finally looks up at her. “I don’t really know”, he starts carefully. “I know I shouldn’t have done that to you, I’m being a dick”. He looks over across the park and takes a sharp breath. “There’s just so much now, with school and hockey, and my parents are being assholes and pressuring me”, now everything comes at once. “I don’t even know if I want to do it anymore, I don’t want to do anything anymore”. He looks down at the ground.

“Then don’t”, Mary says. “Quit hockey, it’s a stupid sport and you don’t have to do it”. Sirius is a bit taken aback.

“What?”, he asks.

“Yeah, it’s obvious that you don’t enjoy it anymore, so just stop. Then you can figure out something else you want to do”, she continues.

“I guess so…”, he says a bit hesitantly. This is the good thing about Mary, she will tell you what to do. He looks up at her and gives her a small smile. To his surprise she doesn’t smile back. “What’s the matter?”, he asks.

“Sirius”, she starts and closes her eyes for a second. “There is still the problem of you not paying attention to me”. She crosses her arms over her chest. “And I’m tired of it now”.

Sirius blinks and looks confused.

“I think I need to be alone. And maybe that is what you need too”, she says.

Sirius nods, “Yeah, maybe it’s best to lay low for a while until everything clears up”, he says.

Mary lets out a sigh and uncrosses her arms. “No, Sirius, I don’t want to lay low for a while, I’m breaking up with you”. It comes out rather bluntly and Mary focuses her eyes on Sirius. Sirius looks into the brown of her eyes and it goes quiet for a second. “I’m sorry”, she says and turns around. She starts walking away from him. Sirius doesn’t know what to think. He looks around the park and notices that it has started to rain. He hurries into the gazebo and sits down at the wooden bench inside. He tries to feel something. He sits there for a while just trying to feel something.

Regulus steps out the front door and notices James straight away walking down the street towards his house. James doesn’t notice him at first. Regulus watches him for a while. There is a bounce to his step and if he concentrates, he thinks he can make out him whistling to a melody. God, this boy is such a cliché. When he notices Regulus waiting for him on the top of the stairs, he gives him a big smile and starts waving to greet him. Regulus can’t help but to give him a smile back. But he doesn’t wave. He’s not a fool.

James had sent him a message this morning. Regulus had responded and then they had been sending messages back and forth all day. In the afternoon James had suggested that instead of wasting battery on their phones, they could just meet up and go for a walk. Regulus had waited a good 15 minutes before responding to James’s suggestion. But his response had inevitably been “Sure”.

“Hi”, James says when he’s within hearing distance from Regulus. “And how are you doing on this fine day, Sir”, he asks jokingly. Regulus scoffs and puts his hands in his pockets.

“Like you don’t already know”, he says.

“Yeah, but I imaging the day became a lot better when you got to see me in physical, real-life form”, he says. “I’ll allow you to poke me to authenticate my presence”, he opens up his arms as to invite Regulus to poke his chest

“I don’t need to poke you to sense your presence”, Regulus answers. He starts walking out on the street.

“You can sense my presence? That’s very romantic, you know…”, he says and walks up next to him.

“No, I can sense you because you are loud”, Regulus corrects him.

“Yeah, yeah...”.

They walk towards the little forest that surrounds their street. Regulus had spent a lot of time there, especially when he was younger. He, Sirius, James and Pandora had played a lot in that forest, everything from hide and seek to zombie apocalypse. When they had played the latter, James had always been the hero trying to save everyone. Regulus had quietly though it was very cute of him. Regulus had also gone out to the forest a lot by himself. He did it quite often when he was at the bottom of the pit that was his crush on James. The trees had provided some shelter and the birds songs had been a distraction to his thoughts.

“Did you watch the show I told you about?”, James asks him.

“The one where the kid got lost and his friends look for him?”, Regulus asks back to him.

“Yeah, that one”.

“Not yet”, he says. “But I want to”, he continues. Regulus wasn’t really a fan of watching TV, but the show had seemed very good when James had described it to him. He had gone on and on about it for several texts. “You only told me to watch it a couple of hours ago”, Regulus adds.

“I know, but it’s the kind of show where you have to drop everything at once and put it on as soon as you hear about it”, James says. He starts kicking a rock in front of him. The rock rolls for a bit and stops and when James reaches it again, he gives it another kick “And I want to discuss it with you”. He gives Regulus a quick glance.

“I’ll watch it tonight”, Regulus says. The rock that James had been kicking stops perfectly in front of Regulus so he gives it a kick.

“Do you promise?”, James asks.

“Yes, I’ll watch it”, Regulus says with pretended annoyance. Actually, he really likes the idea of discussing things with James.

Being around James is turning out to be easier and easier. It’s not quite the same as it was before he left, but it’s not as awkward anymore. As long as they keep it nice and friendly, maybe they could actually go back to what they had before. Regulus kept telling himself that they could keep it strictly friendly, but the truth is that he felt his heart flutter quite often when he was surrounded by James. And, though he wouldn’t confess this to a living soul, not even Pandora, he had woken up the day after the party from a dream about James that had started out with them dancing in Franks living room and ended up with them… dancing… horizontally in his bed. Regulus had woken up quite flustered.

They were walking and talking nonsense for a while before it started to rain. James started laughing and was looking up at the sky. Regulus sighed and put his arms over his head in an attempt to keep his hair from getting wet.

James fishes out an umbrella from his backpack and unfolds it.

“Want to keep dry?”, he asks Regulus with a smug face. Regulus gives a sigh and scoots up next to James under the umbrella. They are very close and Regulus can feel James’s arm up against his own. They start walking towards Regulus house slowly. James is warm, despite the cold rain around them, and Regulus can’t help but to creep closer to him to get some of his warmth. Regulus is sure James noticing, but he isn’t saying anything.

James insists on walking Regulus all the way to his front door, to keep him from getting wet. Regulus sighed, but thought it was very nice of him. If James is anything, he’s chivalrous.  They linger a bit outside the door. Regulus panics a little. How is he supposed to say goodbye? Should he give James a hug? Before he can make up his mind, James draws a breath.

“Let me know when you’ve finished the first episode, okay”, he says and starts backing away from Regulus.

“Will do”, Regulus answers, a little relieved of not having to decide on anything right now.

When he gets up to his room, he looks out the window and sees James and his red umbrella bobbing along the street towards his house.

Chapter Text

“I’m heading over to Regulus’s”, James shouts in the direction of Pandoras room as he walks down the stairs. He hears a thud and then Lily’s unmistakable giggle. Pandora opens the door quickly.

“What?”, she asks. “You mean you are going to Sirius’s”, she continues with a concerned look. James can see Lily’s red head pop up next to Pandoras by the door.

“Well, Sirius’s too, they both do live there, but he isn’t home I think”, he continues. “And, hi Lily”, he gives Lily a small wave. She nods back at him and blushes a little.

“So, you’re heading over there to hang out with Regulus?”, she asks. She seems very confused. James rolls his eyes.

“Yes, why is that so weird?”, James responds. “We’re watching the finale of Stranger Things together”, he continues. “Anyways, he’s waiting, see you later”. He starts heading down the stairs, taking them two steps at a time. He hears the door closing and the girls mumbles behind it.

It had been a few weeks since Regulus started watching the show, but he seemed to be very invested now. He pretended like he didn’t enjoy it as much in the beginning, but as the season went on, he got more and more excited for every episode. Now, Regulus had asked him to come over and watch the last episode together, James’s answer had come very quickly.

To his surprise, Sirius opens the door when he knocks.

“James!”, Sirius exclaims.

“I thought you were going into town”, James responds, a bit confused.

“Yes, I’m going there now, want to come? I’m sure Marlene won’t mind”, Sirius continues while grabbing his scarf and looping it around his neck.

“Uhm, I..”, James starts. “I can’t, I’m seeing Regulus”, he continues.

He then spots Regulus inside the house, giving him a smile.

“Hi, James, do you fancy a cup of tea?”, Regulus asks as comes up to them by the door. He’s wearing looser trousers and a knitted sweater, looking very snuggly. James loses his train of thought for a second.

“Uhm, yes please”, James answers to Regulus question.

“Weren’t you leaving?”, Regulus turns to his brother, who’s eyes are darting between Regulus and James. James blushes a little and gives him a shy smile.

“Yeah…”, Sirius starts carefully and a bit confused.

“Then bye”, Regulus says and practically shoves Sirius out the door. James laughs a little and steps inside the house. He shrugs his shoulder and gives an apologetic smile to Sirius.

When the door closes James looks at Regulus for a second. They don’t say anything. Regulus goes into the kitchen to turn on the kettle. James wonders if he should follow him, he walks slowly towards the kitchen. His hands are a little sweaty. He’s been in this house a million of times, but it had always been with the company of Sirius or Pandora. Their parents had gone out for dinner at some friend’s house. It was only Regulus there.

“Why are you just standing there?”, Regulus interrupts his thoughts. He walks over to him with two cups of steaming tea in his hands. “Let’s go”, he continues. James nods and gives a small nervous laugh. Regulus leads him up the stairs and into his bedroom. He places the cups on his bedside table and sits down on the bed with his back against the bedframe.

“Should I sit on your bed too?”, James asks, immediately regretting the embarrassing question.

“Yeah, I’m not going to make you sit in the corner”, Regulus says with an annoyed look. James smiles and scoots down next to Regulus on the bed. Regulus opens the laptop and his long fingers dart over the keyboard as he types in the website. James can’t help but to stare.

“So, are you excited?”, James says when he has regained his sense again.

“Very, but I’m also just hoping for everything to go tits up so they have to make another season”, he answers with a smile.

“So, you’re rooting for the Demogorgon?”, James asks and shoots up an eyebrow.

“Yes, I hope the kids are fine, bla bla… but yes, I think I am…”, he answers. James just looks away and scoffs.

“I knew you were evil”, James says.

To be honest, James finds it very hard to focus on the episode. Regulus is impossibly close to him in the narrow bed, so close that James can smell him. The closeness increased gradually as the episode had played out, it was like they had gravitated closer to each other. Their legs and arms were touching, hot pressure points that James could not stop thinking about. Regulus smells of shampoo, a nice flavor that he can’t quite make out. He really hopes Regulus doesn’t ask him any hard questions about the episode before he has had time to go home and re-watch the episode.

But James is not complaining. Not one bit.

“Wow”, Regulus says as he closes the laptop when the episode is finished. He puts away the laptop. “That was pretty good… and I guess we have another season to look forward to”, he continues. He turns around and sits with his legs crossed against James. James is sad at the loss of the touch of Regulus arm, but gets over it when he notices that Regulus is staring at him with glittering eyes.

James looks into his eyes and tries to formulate words. “It was really good, felt bad for him for coughing up a slug though...”, James answers “That was nasty”. Regulus starts to laugh. They talk for a little while. When it gets quiet between them James thinks that it is probably time for him to leave now. Luckily, his thoughts are interrupted.

“Do you want another cup of tea?”, Regulus asks and glances over to the empty cups. James smiles.

“Yes”, he says a little to fast. Regulus gets up and walks out the room. James falls back on the bed, his head in his hands. He’s sweating. His mind is everywhere and the room is so hot. He gets up to open the window to let in a little breeze. He takes of his jumper before he returns to the bed to lay down for a second. It’s a good bed, not to soft and not to hard. And it smells wonderful. But James thinks that might be a bias opinion, as it smells of Regulus, his new favorite scent.

When Regulus enters his room again, he notices James’s laying in his bed, in his t-shirt. His jumper is off and thrown on the floor. He puts down the mugs and gives James a questioning look.

“Sorry”, James says and darts up from the bed, his face going a bit red. Regulus laughs a little and sits down on the bed.

“Don’t worry”, he says. He looks at James for a second. “Is this weird?”, he asks.

“No, it’s not weird”, James answers and looks back at him.

“It is a little weird”, Regulus continues. “You being in my house, but neither Sirius nor Pandora are here”. He adds. “Up until a year ago, this was everything I would have wanted, James in my bed”, he adds after a few seconds. He pulls his legs up and puts his arms around them. James lays down again on his side and props his head up on his hand.

“Is that not what you want anymore?”, James asks carefully. Regulus looks down at him, but when he notices the bulge that is James’s bicep, he looks away immediately. He doesn’t give James an answer.

“I like it”, James says a bit hesitantly. “I want it”. He turns and lays down on his back.

Regulus sighs and lays down on the bed next to him and stares up at the ceiling. He tries to get his heart beat to slow down. He doesn’t know what to do with his hands, so he just puts them on his chest, but then it feels like that’s a pose for dead people in coffins so he puts them down at his sides, but that also feels weird. James notices him struggling and interlaces his fingers with Regulus’s. Regulus takes a few breaths, trying his best to clam his fucking heart down. He looks over at James, who is already looking at him. Their eyes lock for a second.

“Ok, I guess this is not too bad”, Regulus whispers. He squeezes James’s hand a little and gets a squeeze back. His head is warm and soft. They smile.

“Warming up to my charm now?”, James says with a smirk. He gives him a big smile and Regulus looks at the set of white teeth. His eyes then go to his lips. Yes, warm is a good way to describe it, he thinks.

“Rather wearing me down, I’m exhausted”, Regulus says snidely.

“Oh, if you think you are exhausted now… just wait until I…”, James starts but before he can finish the sentence Regulus has put a pillow over his face. They both start laughing and James struggles to free himself from Regulus.

They are interrupted by the door opening from down stairs and Sirius exclaiming “IM HOME!”. James gives Regulus a concerned look, but Regulus just smiles at him. He gets up and picks up the neglected cups of tea and heads out the door. He meets Sirius in the kitchen and starts rinsing the cups.

“James left?”, Sirius asks with a smirk. Regulus doesn’t need to respond, because in that second, James comes down the stairs. He runs his hands through his hair that looks a bit disheveled from the pillow suffocation taking place just a couple of seconds ago. Regulus rolls his eyes.

“He’s just leaving”, Regulus says flatly.

“I am?”, James asks confused. Regulus nods at him and heads up the stairs again.

“Yes, Sirius won’t let me have boys in my room, goodbye James”, he says as he turns the corner up the stairs.  He wishes he could turn around to see James and Sirius faces, but he wants to remain cool, so he just slips inside his room. He notices James’s jumper still in a bundle on the floor. James must have left in such a hurry that he forgot it. Regulus walks over to it and considers walking down and returning it to its owner, but he quickly changes his mind. He removes his knitted sweater and slips on James’s. It is a bit too big for him, but Regulus doesn’t care. He sniffs the arms and can smell James on it. He then turns to his bed and lays down, wondering what would have happened if Sirius hadn’t come home.

Sirius pulls out a chair and indicates for James to sit down. James hesitates for a second, then slumps down on the chair. He’s still smiling and but now it’s a bit nervous.

“Spent some time with him?”. Sirius isn’t asking him, rather stating it. “I know I’ve promised to stay out of it after the fiasco at Franks party, but seeing the state of you now, I have to ask…”, Sirius sits down and puts his elbows on the table. “Did something happen up there?”.

James lets out a laugh and covers his mouth with his hands. He gives Sirius a warm look. “You mean…?”, he starts.

“I mean, did you get down and dirty with my baby brother?”, Sirius exclaims hastily. James starts laughing fully and leans back on the chair.

“Regulus is right, you are horrible”, James says while shaking his head. “But no, nothing happened, nothing like that”. James gives Sirius a quick look. “And I’ve promised him not to discuss any matters concerning him with you, so if you’ll excuse me, I think I need to go”. He rises from the chair and tucks it under the table. Sirius looks a little sad.

“But I want to know”, Sirius says. He locks eyes with James. “You are my best friend”. Sirius knows that James will buckle when he pulls the best friend-card, so of course that is what he’s doing. James thinks for a second, then says in a low voice.

“We totally held hands and then he tried to suffocate me with a pillow, it was very hot”.

Chapter Text

The bus station doesn’t have any shelter from the rain so Regulus and Pandora have to huddle up under Pandoras umbrella to not get wet. She got one arm around him and grips the handle tightly, her fingers almost going white from the cold.  Regulus thinks back to a couple of weeks ago when he was huddled under another umbrella, with another person.

“Your fingers are starting to look like a corpse’s”, Regulus says and takes the handle from her. She smiles and rubs her hands together before putting them in her pockets.

“It’s bloody freezing”, she says and lets out a breath. It turns to fog as it leaves her lips.

“You didn’t have to come”, Regulus says snidely.

“No, but I’m your best friend and I don’t want to leave you out here in the cold while you are waiting for your other friend”, she says quickly. “Who is not your best friend”, she adds sternly. She gives him a meaning look.

“Thanks love”, Regulus responds and pulls her in tightly.

The friend that they are waiting for is Remus. And he is late. Regulus had been early to the station, hurrying Pandora on when she had insisted on coming along. Now they had been standing out in the cold for a good half an hour. Regulus feels bad for her.

“How’s things going with Lily?”, he asks her, knowing that question will fire her up.

“Omg, that girl is everything”, she starts. “We’ve decided to be girlfriends now, and yesterday she had dinner at our house, it was so lovely. I think Monty and Effie really likes her”, she continues excitedly.

“That’s really nice, Dora”, Regulus answers with a warm smile. “I’m happy for you, you deserve someone as nice as Lily”.

“Oh yes, and she is a really good kisser. We actually spend most of our time in bed together”, she says. Regulus gives out a huff and shakes his head.

“Omg, Dora”.

“No, nothing like that, I mean we haven’t had sex yet, not that we don’t want it… We did get kind of far once, but then she stopped it and said she wants to take it slow”, she continues in a hurry. “And I only want to do things she’s comfortable with of course, but omg her body is so warm and nice and she smells so good”.

Pandora keeps going on about Lily for a while, and Regulus listens intently. If it was any other person being so open about their relationship, he would probably have been annoyed with them, but with Pandora it’s charming.

Truth is, as much as Regulus had been pining over James when they were younger, the same amount of pine had occurred between Pandora and a boy from their year. She had been stuck up on him for years, and when she finally got the courage to ask him out on a date, he had shut her down pretty badly. He had laughed at her. And when James had heard him call her a freak behind her back, things had gone bad. James had walked up to this boy and shoved him up against the lockers with his fist in his sweater. He hadn’t heard what James had told the boy, but according to Sirius the threat had went something like if you say something about my sister again, I will knock out all your teeth, though Regulus doubts James would say that. That was the first time Regulus had seen James angry, the only other time being when James stood up to Snape for his sake on the ice. Regulus cringes a little at the memory.

So, now that Pandora is happily in love with someone who is actually a good person, Regulus can’t be anything else than beaming.

“Is that the one?”, Pandora points to a bus coming around a corner.

“I guess so”, Regulus says and they squint at the bus approaching. It stops and the first person out is Remus. Regulus recognizes him straight away. His tall figure and hair a mess of sandy brown curls. He walks up to him.

“Where the fuck have you lured me?”, Remus says as he wraps his arms around Regulus. Regulus chuckles.

“Welcome to heaven on earth”, he says sarcastically. “The epicenter of exactly nothing”. Remus had grown even taller during the months they had been apart, and Regulus head only reaches his shoulders now. He backs away and smiles up at his friend. Then he notices Pandora approaching them.

“Oh, yes, Remus, this is Pandora”, Regulus says and gesticulates towards Pandora.

“Lovely to meet you Pandora”, he says while reaching out a hand to greet her. She ignores it completely and reaches up to give him a hug. “Oh”, Remus lets out surprised.

“Hi, I’ve heard much about you!”, Pandora squeaks and tugs him a little before releasing him. “I’m Pandora, the best friend”, she continues and gets a little serious. Regulus rolls his eyes and Remus just laughs.

“Don’t fight over me, there is plenty for both”, Regulus cuts in. “Can we please get away from the rain?”, he continues and gesticulates towards town.

“Oh, I’m starving, do you have any good bangers here?”, Remus says, putting emphasis on the British slang.

They start heading into town and Remus tells them how the flight had been horrible, the passenger behind him kept kicking his seat. Regulus can’t help but to look up at his friend with a smile. It’s weird seeing Remus in this setting, he doesn’t really fit in. He’s wearing his corduroy trousers and a blazer with elbow patches. Yes, elbow patches. That’s something Godric’s Hollow probably never have seen. Remus worked in the library at Illvermorny to pay for the tuition, and Regulus used to harass him and say he only got the job because he looks like a dusty old librarian. But in a hot way. Regulus must admit that Remus is very hot. He’s lean, yet strong and very tall. His hair is unruly and he’s often got a smirk on and a cigarette in his mouth. Regulus could easily have fallen for him, if his mind hadn’t been elsewhere. Instead, they had settled on becoming good friends.

Sirius is washing up after lunch, he’s home alone. Or rather, Sirius is having a concert in the kitchen blasting music and singing along full force.

“There’s a starman waiting in the sky, he told us not to blow it, cause he knows it’s all worthwhile….”

He has transformed into Bowie and flips his hair dramatically as the chorus reaches its climax.

“HE TOLD ME, let the children lose it… let the children use it… let all the children boogie!”, he grabs a pan, pretending it’s his guitar and strums the imaginary strings to the sound of the guitar riff on the speakers.

“SIRIUS, YOU’RE GETTING SUDS ON THE FLOOR!”.

Sirius turns around and lowers the pan. Regulus is shouting at him. He turns the volume down a little.

“Oh”, Sirius says, eyes darting over to Regulus and the tall boy standing next to him. The tall boy has a smirk on his face and Sirius eyes darts between them.

“This is Remus, friend from Illvermorny”, Regulus says. “This is stupid”, he gesticulates towards Sirius.

The tall boy approaches him and reaches out a hand. He smiles at him and Sirius notices a large scar that goes across his face. Sirius turns to the hand that is held out in front of him, then he comes to his senses.

“Eh, hi”, Sirius says and shakes the hand. The greeting doesn’t feel sufficient. He feels the need to pull the boy in closer.

“Bowie, huh?, Remus says with a smirk. He backs away a little and the change in airflow lets Sirius catches a sniff of him. Wow. Okay.

“Yeah, haha…”, Sirius answers and looks away. His eyes turn to Regulus, which is a huge mistake. He’s looking at Sirius with a look of disgust and amusement, and Sirius can feel his cheeks going red.

“Well, if this is over, then I can show you to your room”, Regulus says after a few seconds of silence. “It’s far away from Sirius room, so you don’t have to worry about his singing”, Regulus says while turning around to head to the guest room.

“Shame”, Remus says while picking up the bag from the floor and swinging it over his shoulder. Sirius looks at his back while he walks away. Shame. What does shame mean? Is it a shame that he cannot hear Sirius singing, because he thought Sirius was a very good singer? Or a shame that his room is far away? Omg, why hadn’t Regulus warned him that a literal God would spend time with them?!

“Who didn’t turn the oven on?”, Regulus exclaims and rushes over to the oven. “Sirius, I told you to turn it on, urgh... now we have to wait even longer”, he continues with an annoyed tone.

Sirius is at the kitchen table, along with Evan, Pandora, Lily and Remus. He’s completely ignoring Regulus. They’re chopping the toppings to put on the pizza. James and Regulus were in charge of the dough, and, much to James’s surprise, it was turning out rather good. James was a terrible chef, but turns out Regulus was a great one. James is very impressed.

“It’s fine, we still have to do the assembly”, James reassures him with a smile.

“I know, but he just never listens to me”, Regulus answers with a sigh. “He’s been like that since he arrived”. Regulus nods towards Sirius, standing close to Remus and showing him how to cut onions in the most time efficient way.

James had noticed it too. Sirius had barely said hi to him. He was very taken up with Remus. He had asked Remus what songs he liked when he was picking out a playlist for them. Then he had asked what Remus wanted on his pizza. It was a bit strange seeing Sirius like this. He usually played it very cool and hard to get when flirting. It was always the girls that came to him. Maybe that was the thing. From what James knew, and James was pretty sure he knew everything, Sirius had never fancied a boy before, maybe this was the way he got when he did.

When the pizzas are finished, they sit down in the living room to eat. Evan slumps down on the sofa with Pandora and Regulus. To bad, there went the chance of cozying up to Regulus on the sofa. James sits down with his back against the sofa, right in front of Regulus, along with both Sirius and Remus.

“We did it guys, this is amazing!”, Pandora exclaims while basically inhaling her slice, Lily is laughing next to her. She has her hand on Pandoras leg and gives it a little squeeze.

“Yes, if I had known this is the pizza you get in Godric’s Hollow, then I would have come way sooner”, Remus lets out with a huff.

“You can come back anytime you want”, Sirius exclaims a little too quickly. They all go quiet for a second.

“He’s not even been here for a day, relax”, Regulus says snarky.  

“Yeah, yeah, I know, I just want him to know he’s welcome back”.

“Thanks, you make me feel very welcome”, Remus says and nudges Sirius knee. He goes a little red.

“No worries”.

They eat and talk and listen to Bowie. It was a very nice evening, everyone seemed very cheerful. It was the week before Christmas and they were finally off school for a while. They had had their last lesson for the year yesterday. This was a relief for James, as the hockey season was in full spring. They had practice basically every day now, and then they needed to hit the gym in between the practices. He couldn’t help but to feel a little jealous of Sirius who didn’t have to deal with it anymore. But Regulus had promised to come and watch the practice game tomorrow, so James couldn’t be to upset.

James finishes his pizza and puts the plate down and slumps back against the sofa. He has Regulus’s legs to his right, a fact he tries not to think too much about, but now it seems closer than ever. Regulus is wearing jeans and he can feel the rough fabric on his arm. He closes his eyes and just listens to the people talking around him. They are discussing some new movie they all hate and whenever Regulus points something out, James can feel his heart studder to the sound of his voice. He feels so warm. Right here next to Regulus leg. He can’t help but to tilt his head a little and rest it on his knee for a second. Then he feels Regulus fingers in his hair. His eyes shots up, but he doesn’t move. He feels the fingers move around a little, gently combing through his curls. Regulus just keeps on talking while he combs through James’s hair. James smiles.

Sirius is turning around in his bed. He can’t sleep. His head’s been spinning all day and he can’t seem to relax enough to fall asleep. He keeps thinking about the evening. It had been very nice. Remus was great. They had been chatting and laughing a lot together. Sirius wondered what Remus thought of him. Was he too much? Did he think he was funny? Did he think Sirius looked good? Sirius thought Remus looked very good. He had gotten a glimpse of him in his pajamas while he was brushing his teeth and he swears he could feel himself drool a little. Remus was just so effortless. So incredibly cool.

There is a noise from out in the hallway, then the unmistakable sound of the creaking balcony door opening. He can hear a quiet fucking hell and yes, that is Remus voice. Sirius goes stiff. Is Remus out on the balcony? Why? Should he join him? No that would be weird. Maybe he should just go check, maybe it isn’t Remus. It could be a burglar. Yes, he should really go and check it out to be sure. He walks up from the bed and puts a jumper on. He combs through his hair a little and heads out.

The hallway is cold and there is a chill coming from the door to the balcony. He can see a tall figure standing outside. Before he can think about it, he heads over there. He notices Kreatcher sitting just beside the door, he looks up at him as he approaches. He bends down to give him a pat.

“Sorry, did I wake you up?”.

Sirius straighten and looks up. Remus is standing in front of him.

“Oh, no… I just heard someone swearing”, Sirius answers. Remus shrugs and leans his back on the railing of the balcony. He’s wearing sweatpants and a long-sleeved top. Sirius can see a cigarette burning between his fingers.

“Yeah sorry, almost tripped on the cat”, Remus says with a smirk.

“He often ends up under your feet”, Sirius says and walks over to Remus. He leans on the railing as well. “Can I try one?”. Sirius points to the cigarette.

Remus hold up the cigarette in front of him, and waits. Sirius bends forward and he inhales the smoke. He closes his eyes and thinks about the fact that Remus lips had been where his are just a few seconds ago. He leans back and watches as Remus puts it back between his lips.

Sirius has really been missing smoking. Not that he used to do it all the time, but he did it on occasion. He stopped when he had heard enough of James’s and Mary’s complaints.

“It’s a nice house you have”, Remus says. He turns around to look out over the garden. “It must have been nice growing up here”.

“Sure, the house is good… but I don’t think you could call it a nice up bringing…”, Sirius says.

“Oh yeah, sorry…”, Remus says quickly, looking apologetic. “Regulus has told me things”.

Sirius starts fiddling with his hands. “I think it was worse for him”. Why is he talking to a stranger about this?

“Why?”, Remus tries to look at him. Sirius give him quick glances. Okay, this is why. His eyes are why.

“I don’t know… He just felt so small all the time, and he seemed so sad”, Sirius continues after a few seconds. “I usually just brushed their comments off”.

“But you did get sad too?”.

“Yeah, I guess so”.

Sirius shivers and notices that it has begun to snow a little. Large snowflakes falling slowly towards the grass.

Sirius glances up at Remus again. They look at each other for a few seconds. He feels a grin spreading across his face. Remus takes another drag and then stubs it out on the railing. He tilts his mouth and blows out the smoke. He then raises a hand and tucks a strand of hair behind Sirius ear. Sirius looks at him bewildered. Without thinking he lifts his hand and meets Remus’s on his cheek. He presses the hands together. Remus gives him a little smile.

“I want to kiss you”, Sirius says, still not thinking.

He can feel Remus’s thumb sliding over his cheek slowly. “You could”.

Remus stops smiling and looks at Sirius with a daring look. Like he’s daring him to kiss him. Sirius leans over slowly. Their faces are so close. Remus leans in slightly and their lips meet. It’s a small kiss, but to Sirius it feels like his world is exploding. He moves closer to Remus, still kissing him and opens his mouth slightly. He wants more. He closes his eyes and feels as Remus lips part as well. Remus hand is still on Sirius face, but it moves down slowly to cup his jaw. Remus tilts Sirius head a bit, and slips his tongue into Sirius mouth. Sirius can’t help but to release a quiet gasp.

Remus stops kissing him for a second, but doesn’t move away from him. Sirius feels as if he’s been robbed. Sirius can feel a smirk forming against his own mouth. Remus is laughing.

Sirius tilts away from him. “What’s funny?”, Sirius asks. Very rude to be laughing while kissing someone for the first time.

“You’re so dramatic”, Remus says. He pulls Sirius closer again and kisses him again.