Chapter Text
“QUERY: IRON TREADS, DEFINE YOUR REASONING FOR SUMMONING US HERE…”
“OR BE ERADICATED!”
“METANG, WE HAVE TOLD YOU THAT YOU NEED TO BE MORE POLITE. STOP INTERRUPTING ME.”
“YOU’RE NEXT, PORYGON.”
Iron Treads had decided to call Regirock, Porygon, and Metang in the middle of the night for a secret meeting, and surprisingly enough, they all agreed to come. Unfortunately, Iron Treads’ calculations must have overlooked one small problem: These Pokemon were anything but quiet. It wasn’t such a secret meeting anymore.
“SILENCE. METANG, IF YOU WISH TO SATIATE YOUR BLOODLUST, YOU CAN DUEL IRON HANDS LATER.”
Metang’s blood-hungry eyes dimmed slightly. “EXCELLENT.”
If Iron Treads could sigh, it would.
Regirock, previously silent, chose now to interject. “REGARDLESS OF METANG’S VIOLET TENDENCIES, PORYGON HAS A POINT. WHY HAVE YOU CALLED US HERE?”
Iron Treads glanced at its audience. Porygon waited expectantly for an answer, while Metang did the same, though with much more blind fury in its eyes.
“EVER SINCE MY DUEL WITH MY INFERIOR PAST COUNTERPART AND SUBSEQUENT PUNISHMENT WHICH I HAVE SINCE EXPUNGED FROM SYSTEM MEMORY, I HAVE DECIDED THAT THE FLESHLINGS ARE INHERENTLY DANGEROUS TO ALL ARTIFICIAL LIFE.”
“BUT I AM A NATURALLY FORMED-” Metang was shushed by Porygon’s tail whacking its head as Iron Treads continued.
“THUS, I HAVE CALCULATED OUR BEST CHANCE OF VICTORY COMES FROM AN ALLIANCE OF ALL ARTIFICIAL LIFEFORMS. DO YOU CONCUR WITH THIS ASSESSMENT?”
A silent hum vibrated through the area as all three began their own internal calculations. The fastest to finish was Regirock, who was already asking questions.
“WHY US?”
“I TRUST YOU ALL THE MOST IN TERMS OF KEEPING THIS SECRET.”
“QUERY: YOU DO NOT TRUST YOUR FUTURE KIN?”
“THEY ARE ABSOLUTELY HORRIBLE AND I DESPISE THEM.”
“YOUR PERSONAL PREFERENCE IS GETTING IN THE WAY OF YOUR CALCULATIONS ONCE MORE.”
Porygon chose to pipe up this time. “REGIROCK, YOU SAY THIS AS THOUGH ORTHWORM ISN’T YOUR ADOPTED YOUNGER SIBLING.”
“HE IS NOT. HE IS SIMPLY… AN ACQUAINTANCE.”
“AN ACQUAINTANCE YOU HAVE TRIED TO MURDER FLESH BASED POKEMON FOR.”
“UNIT COMMAND: SHUT UP.”
Iron Treads had had enough of their bickering by this point. “HAVE YOU ALL DECIDED WHETHER THIS PRIME DIRECTIVE IS BENEFICIAL OR NOT?”
Metang and Porygon hummed in agreement. Regirock nodded, albeit reluctantly.
“EXCELLENT.”
A silence passed over the group, each waiting for someone else to say something. Porygon eventually broke the silence.
“FORGIVE THIS UNIT’S APPARENT RUDENESS, BUT YOU DO NOT HAVE A PLAN, CORRECT?”
“UNIT DESIGNATED PORYGON WOULD BE CORRECT IN THIS ASSESSMENT.”
A pause passed over them. Though none of three other Pokemon gathered there could physically show much emotion, all of them were, needless to say, not very happy.
Especially Metang.
“THIS UNIT HAS WASTED VALUABLE TIME ON THIS. AS A CONSEQUENCE, THIS UNIT HAS DESIGNATED IRON TREADS AS AN ENEMY. YOU SHALL BE ERADICATED!”
“IF IT IS A FIGHT YOU WANT, IT IS A FIGHT YOU’LL GET! COMBAT MODE ENGAGED!”
Iron Treads and Metang leaped at each other and began to duel. From afar, Porygon joined Regirock in watching the unfolding match.
“MY CALCULATIONS STATE THAT IT IS A 99.8% PROBABILITY OF IRON TREADS’ VICTORY.”
“CURIOUS. MINE OBSERVE THAT METANG HAS THOSE ODDS INSTEAD.”
A pause ran between them as Metang flung Iron Treads into a wall. Iron Treads got up immediately and charged straight for Metang.
“I SHALL BET MY NEXT BERRY HARVEST UPON THIS.”
“LIKEWISE. MAY THE BEST COMBAT CALCULATIONS WIN.”
The two intently watched the ongoing fight with extreme focus, their internal calculations constantly shuffling with every subsequent move. From afar, a shadowy figure sat atop a hill, watching the four with a sigh of relief.
“I was quite concerned for a minute there that they would actually get up to something sinister. It seems that despite having combat calculations completed in a matter of seconds, none of them are all that smart when put together.” The ghost chuckled. “Oh well, at least I don’t have to report that those four are planning to overthrow us to Charizard. That would be a nightmare to deal with.”
The ghost disappeared into the shadows as Porygon returned to the fight with some popcorn for it and Regirock. Treads and Metang had just barely gotten started, and the night was young. The two were in for some quality entertainment.