Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Desperation has driven people to do the wildest of things.
But this? This was but a small hiccup in comparison to what others had dared to cause. Right?
Well, at least it was small.

Lou, mostly known as Louis Tember, finally arrived back home after exactly six hours of work. Way too little in comparison to his usual times. He scoffed. Always the same with these idiots!

So what if he hadn’t slept in days and then fell unconscious for a little while because of lack of nutrition?! He had done his fucking job! Why was he being punished for it now?!

He threw his shoes into the corner of his entryway and was rewarded with a sigh coming from right behind him. Fucking stupid so-called ‘guard’ needs to watch his fucking mouth! The scientist glared at the annoying man behind him. If you could call him a man. Artificial asshole would certainly fit better!

“Mister Tember, please-“

“Please what?! I don’t fucking care!”, he spat out. Oh, he was so pissed. Not only did they send him home to finally treat his ‘burn out’ but they also send a fucking babysitter! As if Lou wasn’t capable of taking care of himself?! He could take care of himself very well, thank you very much! He didn’t have ‘burnout’! He also wasn’t ‘mentally incapable’ to continue work!

He was just passionate about his work! Why was that such a crime?! Shouldn’t they be fucking happy that their facility was a god-forsaken renowned research center for the government because of him?! An employee that works a lot is a good thing for crying out loud! How stupid are they?!

He flipped around and pointed a finger towards his kitchen, not waiting to see if the guard was even paying attention right now.

“Food is in the fridge…probably. Although if there is maybe don’t eat it, probably developed a conscious by now. I’ll be in my fucking room.”

He made a beeline for his home office. No fucking way they can stop him from his research! He may not have his samples here but some of his previous research notes are in the mother fucking cloud and he has a computer so suck it!

But the guard was in front of Lou in the blink of an eye, blocking his way.

“Step. Away.”
“No. Mister Tember, you aren’t allowed to even think about work. Sabrina warned you that you will just mess it all up again.”

The scientist was too stunned to speak. So many things fucking wrong with that statement! The audacity?! He?! He messed it all up?! The fuck he did?! He was the only reason they even had gotten this far! Okay, when he passed out, the sample he was holding got contaminated. Okay. Yes it had been crucial to the research… yeah, it threw them back months. Okay, maybe he did mess it up a bit but he can fix it! He isn’t stupid! He’s smart! He can do it! They fucking need him! They won’t survive without him!

And then! And then the fucker has the audacity to call his own boss by her first name! Lou knew that the guard couldn’t be considered a real human being as he had been created in a lab by his boss but… some dignity?! Hello?! That was Doctor Ecin for him! It was that for everyone! Just because that bastard is basically her son didn’t fucking excuse that!

“You can’t tell me what to do! Out. Of. My. Way!”

The guard now grabbed his arm, pulling him away from the door with way too little effort. Lou growled a little in frustration.

“I’m sorry but this is my job.”
“And what will you do if I go against you?!”
“I’ll inform Sabrina and she’ll do the rest.”, Lou swallowed. He wouldn’t-

But what if he really…

For all Lou knew doctor Ecin would straight up use him as a new experiment or something. Cut into his brain and study it just to put it back after and look at the damage she did. “Okay, alright. No fucking work, I get it.”, he groaned exasperated.

“And what am I allowed to do then?!”
“Anything not work-related.”
“And what would that be genius?!”
“Don’t you have any hobbies mister Tember?”, If Lou hadn’t already nearly lost it before, he was on a good way to it right then and there. Hobbies?! Was that bitch trying to make fun of him?! He didn’t have time for hobbies! He was a renowned scientist for gods sake! Why did no one understand his importance?!

“You know what? Fuck you.”, he proceeded to turn around and enter the next room just to let himself fall onto the sofa, arms crossed. He may look like he’s pouting, he’s well aware of that but in actuality, he’s making a plan in his head. It shouldn’t be difficult to outsmart the guard...

Oh and it had all worked so well!

…until it didn’t.

He had waited for two whole days! He was now ready to receive his medal for his fucking patience! Okay… the stupid guard did catch him scribbling something for work on a piece of paper from time to time. Okay, and he had already gotten two warnings but those were all empty threats. After all, from what Lou could tell after only the thirty hours they’ve been under one roof, the other was a total pushover.

The guard even followed Lou’s orders as long as they weren’t work related! It was like having your own personal slave that brought you everything you asked for! He also told Lou his name. Len. The scientist however refused to call him by that. He wasn’t human, so he didn’t need a name.

But the scientist could only be patient for so long and eventually, he was itching all over. A horrible feeling. He needed to do his work. He had to! They wouldn’t be able to do it as he could! They would all mess it up! And he was bored. He felt useless and bored and itchy from just sitting around and staring at his wall.

How did some people manage to live like that?!

So when the guard fell asleep on Lou’s sofa that night, blanketed by merely white towels(because Lou refused to build a bed for someone that intruded on his privacy and his safe home! Also why would he even need a real bed?!(…though, the white towels make this almost look even weirder…but then again Lou didn’t have any towels with a different color)) Lou quickly snuck away into his home office, locking the door.

There he presumed working till the sun started peeking over the horizon again. And he hadn’t even managed to do much with how little was actually saved in the cloud. But he still had done something and he felt somewhat relieved. He wouldn’t have been able to sleep anyways, even if he was tired as all hell. He never slept longer than three hours or so. He was used to it. It also meant he had more time to work so he wasn’t complaining. It actually made him feel superior to the others! So he continued working.

Well, until the fucking door was kicked in without warning!

Alright, maybe the guard had called out a few useless and harmless threats from the other side from time to time since… like a few hours ago already but still, Jesus!

All complaints and swear words had gotten stuck in Lou’s throat however because the other man looked absolutely livid, nothing like the sweet little pushover he had been till now. His grey eyes seemingly changed color in the early morning light and made them glow dangerously. The scientist swallowed.

“Mister Tember. I’ll be informing Sabrina.”, despite his appearance, his voice was eerily quiet and calm but Lou still shuddered a little. Probably only because his heating was turned off though.

“The fuck you will!”, he finally composed himself again. That fucker wouldn’t dare to-

But the guard had already pulled out a phone and simply said one sentence when it seemed like the other had accepted the call.

“Mister Tember refused to cooperate.”

Then there was silence for a little while until the guard pocketed his phone again and closed in on Lou.

“What are you doing?”, no, Lou’s voice definitely wasn’t slightly shaking, thank you very much!

“We are going to Sabrina. I warned you and I really don’t like doing this.”, how could he even like shit?! He wasn’t human! “But this was already the third strike in only a few hours.”

“Get away from me!”
“Mister Tember, please don’t make this even more difficult than it already is. Either you follow me on your own or I will have to carry you.”
“Fuck you!”

And suddenly Lou found himself thrown over the shoulder of the guard. Doctor Ecin sure made that thing strong as fuck. Lou was obviously livid but the scientist inside of him couldn’t help but admire his boss’s work. But then again he was way too livid to actually voice that admiration right now.

So he resorted to hitting the back of the guard with all his might and kicking into, hopefully, his stomach. To no avail, obviously. Stupid fucking shit didn’t even flinch!

Eventually he had to stop. His body forcing him to. He hung uselessly over the other's shoulder, breathing heavily as they finally reached the car parked outside and he got strapped in. Fucking strapped in!

The guard even had the fucking audacity to apologetically look him into the fucking eyes! If Lou hadn’t absolutely exerted himself and could see little white dots popping up in his vision he would have screamed at him some more.

“…you need to breathe mister Tember.”
“The fuck you think I’m doing?!”

The other only sighed, sitting down in the driver's seat and starting the engine.

After they finally had arrived at their research center and had passed all the annoying security stuff, Lou almost felt relief. He was back in his usual environment. He could-

But all of that relief quickly disappeared when they left the car and the fucking guard had the audacity to throw Lou back over his shoulders. What the fuck?!

So, that was how the scientist was carried through the whole facility. He hated this more than being at home with nothing to do. No, actually, at least he was back and closer to his work here. He didn’t have to look at a bleak wall and feel that disgusting itch in his whole body because of doing nothing. Yeah, there was nothing worse than being at his apartment.

As they arrived in the area doctor Ecin used for her own research, Lou could hear the usual alarm going off. Not the one that means security has been breached or a fire has started but the one of the medical department.

Their medical department was a kind of special force if you so will. Most of the time they couldn’t bring injured people to a normal hospital or call a normal ambulance. Sometimes the injured would be radioactive or have caught a virus they had wanted to experiment on. Or sometimes the injured were test subjects. No further explanation for those though. Let’s just say, outside people shouldn’t see that.

Usually, Lou wouldn’t pay it any mind because that alarm sounded quite often for doctor Ecin’s department, however as the guard was carrying him through the entrance door, some of the medical staff were running past them with a stretcher. On it a person with a white cloth covering most of the upper body and- was it wearing a pastel pink onesie? Really, what kind of experiment did that belong to?

Lou shook his head, focus! He had more important stuff going on right now. He still had to face doctor Ecin. He swallowed. And that wasn’t going to be fun.

They rounded another corner and reached some stairs. The whole facility was built like a maze and Lou realized just now that he didn’t even know the floor plan of this part of it. He only was familiar with his own…

Well, better question: why should he even care about other parts?! He huffed.

After climbing the endlessly long stairs that made Lou kind of nauseous because of how he got carried up there, finally, even the guard flinched. Sadly not because of Lou though but because of screaming and trashing coming from around the next corner. Clearly screaming from Doctor Ecin.

To say that Lou was terrified didn’t even scratch the surface of what he actually felt right now. Ecin screaming? Hell no.

His boss was terrifying in her own crazy way but she never screamed. She was a happy-go-lucky psychopath. Dancing around her operation table when she found something interesting in her victi- in her patient’s body or brain. Even laughing manically when something turned out differently from what she expected but this? This was new. Something really bad must have happened and Lou prayed that it doesn’t have anything to do with him.

They rounded the corner, slower now because even the guard seemed scared of the unusual screaming coming from the usually tightly shut room for special test objects.

It was open now and Lou could hear how glass shattered together with desperate sobs from another party. He tried to twist his neck in a way that would let him see what was happening and he almost choked on his own spit.

The testing room was nothing like he imagined it to look. It looked nothing like his own testing room in his department at least.

The walls were a pastel pink color, with cute flower stickers on them. A kind of chandelier hanging from the ceiling that looked like a soft blue cloud. There were also some stuffed animals on the ground. What had the doctor been doing there? Experiments on a child?

Honestly, Lou could believe that. Certainly something the doctor would do.

But that was all he could see. He couldn’t even move his field of vision far enough to actually see Ecin or the person that was apparently balling their eyes out.

But he could hear them and luckily the asshole holding Lou seemed frozen in his spot and was as quiet as can be.

“If you don’t quiet down I’ll have you sedated!”, the doctor screamed and only louder sobs came as response.

“No! Don’t you- don’t fucking do that! Ah! Len!”, that call woke Lou’s captor up, and instantly he found himself thrown to the floor. Fucking bitch! How dare he?! Lou had to close his eyes for a short second to not scream out in pain because of his not-really-soft collision with the floor. He rubbed at his rip and finally looked fully into the room.

The picture in front of his eyes was… certainly a situation.

Doctor Ecin stood in the middle of the room with thin lines of irritated red running along her exposed arm. The sleeve of her work attire had been rolled up and her blond hair usually laid in a neat ponytail was disheveled, half of it hanging out of the hair tie. Her glasses broken on one side.

The guard that had just assaulted Lou was now holding another person to the ground although there wasn’t a lot of struggling coming from the other.

One of the captivated person’s hands held a glass shard and it dug into their skin so hard that blood was running onto the light pink carpet. The carpet itself was littered in glittering pieces of a broke mirror. The person was still sobbing frantically into the ground and honestly, it sounded completely broken. Was that the doctor's test subject?

Lou’s eyes widened. Did it try to attack Ecin just now?! The scientist was on his way to stand back up again when the doctor spoke again. This time luckily not screaming anymore. Her voice still sounded menacing though.

“Thanks.”, she brushed some dust from her clothing and took out her phone to call someone.

Lou could only stare as if he was watching a tv show or something. At least it was quite entertaining but he really really wanted to know what had went down here.

“Take the carer out and make sure to place him in an empty room. Don’t give him anything and I repeat, anything! No window, no bed, no sheets, not even a glass of water. Strip him of everything and Leave. The. Room. Empty.“, she hung up, directing her eyes back onto the guard.

“Take the shard from him! Don’t let it slice anything important.“

The other only nodded, bending down and carefully opening the tightly gripping hand one finger at a time.

Another pained and strangled sound echoed from the person on the ground as soon as the glass shard was removed and Lou was sure they were biding the carpet under themselves.

The scientist shivered and it was only then that he noticed that there was a huge window on the opposite side of the room. It was completely broken.

“Tember.“, Lou straightened his back when his boss finally also spoke to him.

“Get inside and out of the doorway. But don’t you fucking dare move afterward!“

He could only nod, still way too stunned by what he had just witnessed.

“No… nonononono.“, the person on the ground muttered around his sobs. Their eyes were tightly pressed together as two other people entered the room in protective gear and Len stepped away from them, watching.

“Are you bringing me to him? Please… please bring me to him! He won’t- he won’t- he can’t-"

“He won’t do shit anymore.”, the doctor interrupted their rambles and they started trashing again as they were hoisted off of the ground.

“No! No he- he just- he can’t- no! No!”, but their struggle was completely useless against the men holding tightly and basically carrying them outside. Damn, they were having a full on breakdown. Maybe they weren’t even trying to attack the doctor but… and who was that ‘he’ that they were talking about?

When their trashing gained a whole new level when they made their first step outside of the room Ecin rolled her eyes and stepped towards the door while grabbing something from the shelf behind her.

A syringe.

“Wait.”

The men stopped instantly and the doctor carefully moved to stand behind her supposed test subject and tightly grabbed their neck. The syringe in her other hand and bringing it up to their neck.

“Sleep. You’ll feel way better after I’ve disposed of that annoying little malfunction.”

“No. No! Please! I need- I ca-can’t! I-… he… he needs… me…”, but soon their words died down and they fell limp in the other peoples arms.

“The rest still stands.”, Ecin told the men and soon they disappeared behind a corner.

With an annoyed huff she turned back around while sliding her hair tie off. Her sharp eyes finally landed on Lou now.

“If it isn’t my favorite scientist.”, she muttered and Lou froze. She still was absolutely pissed. Great. Internally Lou cursed the person that had just been carried out.

“Yeah. And you seem to have a lot on your plate so I’ll just-“
“Shut it. I’m not in the mood.”, she massaged her temples and sighed loudly.

“Len?”

The guard also straightened his back.

“Mister Tember has refused to follow your order multiple times.”
“I see.”, she muttered, seemingly collecting herself again. There was silence in the room now. Feeling like it stretched unendingly long until her eyes suddenly shot wide open.

Lou didn’t have a good feeling about this but remained silent. He means, what’s the worst that could happen, really? …right?

“Ahhh. Loui Loui Loui… what am I going to do with you?”, her voice suddenly did a one eighty and returned to her sweet and bubbly but still menacing tone.

“Erm… let me work again? You clearly can’t get shit done here without me.”, Lou slapped himself mentally. Not the time for his usual attitude! Even he knew that!

No wait, he knew everything! This probably was the right approach! Yeah, after all, he always knew what he was doing! He breathed out calmly and met his boss’s gaze confidently. The other only sighed.

Lou knew what he was doing. He was in control. He always was.

He repeated the thought in his head. Let it roll around there while waiting for an answer and the longer it took the more confident he felt.

The doctor hummed, finally breaking their staring match and absentmindedly looking around the weird room.

“So… you want to take part in some of our studies again? You wanna help the people?”, her voice sounding generally questioning and a confident smile returned to Lou’s face. He nodded.

“Mhh but what to do… I can’t let you back into your old stuff. I’ve already given it away to others.”, she smiled back at him and Lou’s own fell to be replaced by an angry grimace.

“The fuck you did?!”, he now stood straighter. Stronger. His hands clenched into fists. How dare she?! They won’t be able to even grasp the gravity of his research! They probably won’t even understand a single sentence he wrote down!

“You can’t just-“
“Well, I did. You weren’t supposed to be in for another three weeks and we can’t just let it rot there.”, she still smiled at him.

“Mister Tember. Really, you need to-“
“I don’t need to do shit!”, he barked back at the guard.

“My my, feisty. Okay, you convinced me.”

Lou perked up at the words. He did? Well, of course he did! He relaxed a little and gave the guard a cocky facial expression before facing Ecin again.

“So? When can I start again? I could right now!“

“Oh no no no! Not at your work. As I said, I already rescheduled there. But you could work with me.”

Lou was confused. Should he be angry or happy right now? He hadn’t worked with Ecin directly in ages. The last time was in his first week of work and… no wait, that was it. And that was ages ago as well. As far as he was concerned she hated working with others. He cocked his head and Ecin laughed loudly.

“Louis. I happen to have a little problem here.”, she gestured wildly around the room. Now that Lou had some more and most of all calm time to look at it, he realized something more. Not only were the walls childish but the furniture was worse. It was clearly for a child but… it didn’t fit. The sizes didn’t fit.

He turned around again, stumbling a bit. But only so much that it wasn’t noticeable! He straightened out his clothes and cleared his throat.

“My test subject jumped.”, she said in a calm manner and Lou raised one eyebrow.

“Go on. Ask your stupid questions.”, she said, her smile growing impossibly wider.

“Although, you as my smartest scientist should have figured a lot out already…Right?”

Lou swallowed. He hadn’t. He had more questions than anything but he straightened his back once more. He wasn’t going to admit that! So he looked back over the facts.

“You… the test subject jumped out of the window.”, the doctor nodded happily.

“You called the other person carer”, his eyebrows shot up as he remembered the weird corpse the medical staff carried past him when he arrived “… you held an adult as a child here?”, she nodded again, her eyes turning into half moons.

“Why?”, the question slipped out of him before he could stop it. Her smile fell to be replaced by a disappointed scowl.

“Aww. I expected more from you! Scientists are so weird.“, she sighed exaggeratedly. “But alright. If you can’t figure out my genius I‘ll have to explain it to you. I expected so much more from you Louis.“, the scientist shrunk into himself a little. That- he didn’t mean to ask that question! He could figure it out by himself! He-

But Ecin already continued.

“I‘m working on the problem of overpopulation and homelessness. To make it really simple for your burned-out brain, why do we have homeless people? They don’t have a home. Why is there overpopulation? Because people are crazy for their stupid ugly babies! I‘m just combining two problems to get rid of both!“, she smiled and Lou blinked.

“They would just need to go through a little program I still need to work on.“

Lou still remained silent and Ecin added: “Louis? Do you know what age regression is? When people’s minds return to that of a child’s or even baby’s? This is exactly it! We just need to open their minds a bit.“

“Are you sure that that has a future?”, Lou finally had found his voice again.

“You are such a pessimistic asshole, you know that?“, she pouted. “But you have to see, if this works out we could fight against homelessness and overpopulation!”
“I mean, I’m all for it but I don’t think it would be well received by the public if you force homeless people to-“
“Oh, but it’s for the greater good. You of all people should know that.”

“But-“

“No but!”, she let out a harsh breath.
“Anyways, you don’t need to understand my genius to help me out here.”
“What?”
“Oh, a baby doesn’t need to know everything.”
“Excuse you?!”
“…Louis. I’m pretty sure the saying goes differently.”

“I won’t-“
“It’s either you becoming my new test subject and helping me work or I’m going to send more of my lab rats to keep you in your fucking home and on your fucking coach this time around!”, she pointed at the guard and Lou turned pale.

Basically he had the choice between walking through a desert and hell. And he’ll choose the desert. Everything is better than being at home. Here he can at least somewhat ‘work’… right?

A tiny hollow laugh escaped him. After all he had been right. The doctor really would use him for her experiment. Hopefully he wasn’t right about the part were she cuts into his brain though…

“Do I even have a choice?”
“Nope.”, she moved closer to him and threw her arm over his shoulder.
“Let’s get you to file some boring paper work while this room is getting restored.”

“What about the carer in this?”, the guard spoke now and both, the doctor and the scientist froze in the doorway. Apparently both of them forgot about his existence for a little bit there.

“Oh… you are right Len, thank you. This is going to be a problem…”, why is her lap rat getting compliments for the stupidest of shit?! She had never thanked Lou. Not that he wanted to be thanked, he knew he was doing a fucking amazing job! But still… isn’t it weird? He glared at the guard.

“Mhhh what should I do… until I-“

“I can do it.”
“Huh? Why?”
“That…that is my job. Isn’t it? To take care of him and prevent him from work.”, the guard babbled.

“Ah, right… okay, the other isn’t in a state to anyways and until I found the bug in his system it’ll take a while. Okay, yeah, sure. Why not. Wait for me to get the required code for you.”

Lou could only look from Ecin to the guard and back. The doctor didn’t even think about how Lou could have been her assisted and not the subject. Also… what did the role of carer entail? The scientist still had too many questions but didn’t dare to voice them.

He was smart. He could figure this out himself!

Okay… twenty minutes later and…

He could, in fact, not figure it out himself.

At least not now. He was confident he would get to it later on though. He was a genius after all!

Getting the extremely long contract after just a very short waiting period wasn’t even that impressive. Lou wasn’t stupid, he was dead set on reading every single word in here to make sure there were no surprises! But then Doctor Ecin interrupted him just when he got to the section about ‘Louis Tember is expected to […]’.

“Louis. I thought you were one of my best men, if not number one. How come you don’t know what our legal documents entail? But sure, I guess it’s not so bad to refresh one’s memory a bit from time to time.”, she was leaning against the wall and looking at his back. Lou could feel her stare burn into his spine. Still, he halted because of the statement.

Ecin was right… they have the same contract for every test subject. Just minor changes from time to time depending on the situation. He knew it by heart, of course! He knew everything already! He was just… yeah, what had he been doing? He… he was just wasting time! Great example you are setting as the best scientist in the whole facility! He shook his head.

“It’s okay, go on.”, Ecin continued with great disinterest in her voice. She sounded as if they had all the time in the world and this was just something she had to be patient for with a stupid client of hers. Lou wasn’t a stupid client!

He swiftly pulled up the pages that he knew were the ones he had to sign onto and stood back up from the desk he had been placed on.

The doctor blinked.
“My, you did get through that really fast! I’m impressed Louis!”, she smiled at him and the scientist felt his own cocky smile reappear. Fucking bitch. Of course, she was impressed by him!

As soon as the documents were in his boss's hands, two of her security guards entered the tiny room.

“Oh, don’t worry! They are here to help me prepare you. Now, you have the choice, do you want to be conscious or unconscious throughout the process? I imagine you want to be spared of the embarrassment? But then again we all know what a huge sadist you are but are you a masochist as well?”, she sounded generally confused and Lou just stared.

“What preparations?”, Ecin tsked at him and shook her head at the question.

“The preparations. Dressing you, getting rid of annoyances like body hair. Just stuff like that.”

Lou blinked. Apparently, his abused brain needed too long to process the information because suddenly the doctor clapped her hands.

“Then I’ll just make the decision for you. You really make a great effort to fit into this role perfectly already! I’m so proud of my number one!”

Pride and fear mixed in Lou’s gut like a disgusting stomach bug. But before he could sort out his feelings a needle pierced the side of his neck and the world around him disappeared behind a wall of fog.

Chapter Text

Slowly Lou drifted back into consciousness, feeling the weight of his own body pressing him down heavily into a soft mattress. He slowly tried to readjust his position. When he noticed that that wasn’t possible, his eyes shot open.

His body remained pressed down by his own weight and gravity. He felt as if an invisible boulder had been thrown onto him.

He couldn’t move.

He couldn’t fucking move.

He felt hot all of a sudden as his heart picked up a faster pace. He swallows dryly, trying to move something, just anything! Please let all of his limps still be there…

But nothing happened.

No matter how much effort he put into it, no matter how much strength he brought up, nothing moved. He was trapped in his own body. Even more than usual.

He tried again and again. Nothing. It was equally as scary as it was annoying and he let out a frustrated grunt.

The blood running through his veins felt like fire the more attempts he did. The fire eventually possessed his brain, making him clench his jaw without even wanting to. At least his facial muscles seemed to work just fine…

The longer he laid there the angrier he got until finally he couldn’t help but let go of an enraged scream.

What the fuck was this?! He had agreed to play the subject and not to be robbed of his own body!

“My, did our baby wake up a bit grumpy?”, that fucking bitch of a boss! If Lou could, he would turn his head towards the voice and throw her his nastiest glare while giving her a piece of his mind! But he was stuck looking onto a ceiling covered with a shitty print of a blue sky with too many stupid clouds.

“Is that because of the ‘stuff’ we did?”, she asked innocently and Lou could have sworn he could fucking hear her batting her eyelashes innocently.

“I did warn you that we’d do it though… didn’t I? Well, anyways! Aren’t you just a cutie? Len, come and look at the baby!”, finally Lou could see Ecin as she basically hovered over him. She had fixed her glasses, he noted and her hair was now pulled into a tight bun. Probably secured with a lot of hairspray or similar because the hair pulling her scalp could almost be a great substitute for a mirror. That’s how fucking shiny it was.

Lou squinted to escape the light that got reflected from it.

Or he was just being dramatic. Who knows? He deserves it.

Then the stupid guard’s head popped up over him. He had his black hair secured with a headband. Lou would have almost laughed at him for looking so stupid if it wasn’t for the teeny tiny inconvenience of his fucking body being paralyzed!

He rolled his eyes. He would utilize whatever muscles he still had control over.

“Mh? Is Mister Tem-“
“Len!”

The other cleared his throat with a sheepish look on his face.

“Is… Louis mute now?”, he better go back to the mister Tember thing right fucking now! How dare he just use first name basis?!

Wait… that’s right… Lou could talk…

Why didn’t he already give them a piece of his mind?!

But before he could actually make use of his vocal cords Ecin already started talking.

“No no. Or… no. Wait..”, she generally seemed confused for a short second and suddenly Lou doubted his own ability to use his voice.

“No no! I remember! We didn’t cut his vocal cords and we didn’t even pull his teeth out this time around!”, she what?!

Lou’s eyes grew wide. What did she mean ‘this time around’?!

“Don’t look at me like that Loui baby! It’s not my fault when you decide to play mute! No one can always remember everything!”, Ecin pouted and disappeared out of Lou’s field of vision.

The sound of a well-known plastic board getting tapped on by nails let him know that the doctor was looking over her till now gathered data.

Silently Lou thanked the previous test subject. If not for them Lou probably wouldn’t have his teeth anymore.

But then he did a double take.

If not for them he wouldn’t even be here in the first place! He immediately took his appreciation for them back. Stupid fucker. Probably deserved their fate.

“Okay, so.”, the doctor returned to looking down onto Lou who still hadn’t uttered a single word. He didn’t even know why he kept quiet himself. He just… didn’t want to talk. Yeah. That’s it.

The doctor’s green eyes narrowed in on him and Lou swallowed. He hated this position.

“I’m going to fill you in on what exactly is going to happen and what won’t ever happen. But only this once, so listen carefully little Loui!”, Lou was really weirded out by her.

Sure, hearing her screaming had been way scarier but like…now she talked so… disgustingly soft. If Lou could he would gag a little.

He had loved their mean-spirited bickering from before. Just some dry, dark humor neither of them actually meant… mostly. He respected her greatly but it he wasn’t really one to make that obvious! And weirdly even now his brain was split between deciding if he should admire her dedication and planning or be angry at her for screwing him over.

“This time around there will be some changes to my previous subject. You’ve been temporarily partly paralyzed. It’ll wear off eventually but only if you are on your best behavior, you hear me? Furthermore, the entire nursery is under constant watch through cameras in various different spots. The only ones that’ll come in contact with you are Len and me though. I will take part in the caretaking this time to ensure your… safety.“, that pause right there didn’t sound necessarily ‘save’, Lou thought to himself.

“For every milestone you reach, you will get a fun little reward and for every rule you break, there’ll be an appropriate punishment.”, milestone? Punishment? Rules?

Lou finally managed to break his silence.

“What rules?”, he hated how weak his voice sounded. Maybe he was still tired from that shot she gave him? That must be it!

The doctor squeaked in surprise.

“It talks! Len, it talks!”, she jumped up and down for a good five seconds and Len just nodded. His gaze was transfixed on Lou’s face and it made the scientist really uncomfortable. Was that bitch’s mouth slightly opened?! Fucking creep.

“Sooooooo my dearest of dear Lous! The rules are rather simple this time! I realize the ones we had before might have been a bit too much for the simple human mind to handle… are you listening? Because like I said, I won’t repeat them!”, she smiled brightly at Lou and he in turn blinked up at her.

She giggled. “So cute. Isn’t our baby just so precious?”, the guard only nodded, a timid smile on his lips. Fucking pedo!

“Rule number one! No swearing. Rule number two! You won’t question us. Remember, I can still have your teeth pulled!”, she beamed and Lou wondered if maybe she really would. Was that even allowed? He must have looked confused for a second there because Ecin leaned further down towards him and basically whisper screamed: “Don’t you remember? It all stood in the contract.”

Did it really? Lou felt his heartbeat quickening and his lungs tightening for a short moment.

Ah yes! He… he remembered now! It clearly stated that the doctor is allowed to do anything deemed necessary. Yes… that’s what stood there. Probably… no! Lou is sure of that. No! He’s confident that it did! How could he forget?! But he was still in control. He knew all the ins and outs! He… he was in control!

He just had to show her that it wasn’t necessary! He had to show her that Lou was perfect in every way! He was her number one after all!

“Okay!”, she clapped her hands together as she straightened her back a little bit again. The sound of her hands colliding made Lou flinch a little but it probably felt more like flinching than it actually was. Being paralyzed and all.

“Next rule number… erm… Oh yeah! Rule number three! You are only allowed in the bathroom with both of us supervising you! I won’t make that mistake again.”, Lou desperately wanted to shake his head. The way the doctor spoke was as if she expected Lou to already know everything that went down in the room before. But he didn’t and it agitated him. His blood already starting to heat again. It also sounded like the one that jumped wasn’t the first.

He forcefully stopped his useless train of thought as he went over the information once more.
‘To the bathroom only with both of them right there.’

He could basically feel all of his blood leaving his face. What kind of kink show was this?! He thought he’d only play a little pretend until Ecin was satisfied!

But then again… this was still doctor Ecin he was talking about.

Exactly what did he expect? Her playing dolls with him?

He almost just chuckled at that thought. Almost.

Because she might as well be playing dolls with him. But he was her doll. He got played.

Maybe he really did have a mild burnout… his brain wasn’t processing the information he was given in a way he would have liked. Weird.

He grimaced, wanting to shake his head but when he barely moved he let out another agitated sigh.

“Moving on because our little baby is being really cranky right now.”, she glared down at him and he stopped instinctively.

“You will refer to me and Len as mommy and daddy from now on. Got it?”

“What the fuck?!”, now that outburst was completely out of Lou’s control. But could you blame him?!

“Mist-… Louis. Language!”, the guard, yes, the guard, not fucking ‘daddy’, said sternly. But Lou couldn’t help but notice his little slip-up. Jup, the bastard still seemed to be his old pushover self. Maybe Lou could use that to his advantage?

“That is strike one Loui baby.”, Ecin held one finger in the air.

“One strike are five hits on your bottom. Remember that. But first I will finish the introductory round.”, Ecin cooed.

A shiver went down Lou’s spine. She didn’t really mean that… did she?

“Oh, baby I am dead serious about that.”

“Don’t call me that!”

Ecin’s face pulled into an ugly grimace. “Two strikes.”
“What?! I just asked-“
“Three.”
“But-“
“Louis don’t make this harder for us than it already is.”

Lou was barely able to bite back another ‘fuck you’.

“That’s four strikes already! Loui Loui Loui… what am I going to do with you?”

“I- I think he’s at three.”, the guard interjected. Ecin gave him a nasty glare but then rolled her eyes with a huff.

“Fine! That’s what I said anyways. That’s fifteen hits then.”

The stupid guard gave Lou a ‘reassuring’ smile and Lou was this close to earning himself an actual fourth strike.

That was if they were even going to follow through with that threat. The guard was such a weak pushover though, Lou doubted he would allow Ecin to actually hit him.

He was save.

There was a short silence, as if the doctor tried to clear her head a little and then finally continued.

“If you prove to be incapable of using your voice the proper way we will make sure to stuff your mouth.”, she said coldly before wiping the stony expression off of her face to let out a shining smile.

“Also! Since we have to cut back on our water bill you aren’t allowed to waste it. So we can’t supply you with a toilet, I’m afraid. Not that you’d be able to use one while being paralyzed. You’ll have to resort to diapers. Don’t worry! Daddy will always keep you exceptionally clean!”

Bullshit! She just wanted to get her way and humiliate him further! She was obviously pouting because of Len right now and Lou gave him a glare.

The doctor looked at her digital watch that Lou had seen so often before already and squeaked a little.

“My! It’s almost time for your first-ever bottle! Isn’t that exciting?! Oh… but what to do… we don’t have that much time left. We have to keep you on a strict schedule so you’ll get used to all this quicker! Len? Go and make him his bottle just the way I told you to.”

No! No! As much as Lou hated that stupid guard, he seemed to be the only voice of something that somewhat resembled reason! If he went outside Ecin would surely-

But the guard had already waved at Lou with a little frown on his face and turned around.

Fucking bastard!

Bitch!

How dare he?!

He can’t just-!

But Lou halted in his inner monologue when Ecin’s smile turned dark. Her mouth still stretched upwards but now it did not even reach her eyes anymore. Lou held his breath.

“Let’s see… he’ll take about nine minutes maximum.”, she cooed at Lou. “Don’t look at me like this! I don’t like this either! But you have to learn one way or another! And as much as I hate this, I promised Len that he wouldn’t have to physically punish you… he really seemed to have taken a liking to you in this short period of time…”, she sounded betrayed and let her bottom lip shoot out a bit into a pout.

“Or I connect one or two synapses wrong… probably made him too…”, she mumbled, the last part so silent Lou couldn’t hear it anymore.

“Oh! But don’t you worry! He also will punish you when you step out of line.”, Ecin singsonged softly but it wasn’t reassuring at all.

“So, let’s get you out of your cute little crib and over my lap!”

…crib?

Honestly… why was Lou even surprised by that? But… how hadn’t he noticed in what he was laying?!

No, wait, he did! He had recognized that it was soft and all. He just had banned it from his brain. But he actually did know in what he was laying! He was just so smart.

But all of that didn’t help him one bit as Ecin grabbed him under his armpits and hoisted him up, over the bars of the crib.

His head fell backwards, making it feel like it was about to break off and the doctor didn’t quite manage to lift him high enough. So his legs hit the upper part of the bars and got draped over them when Ecin just pulled at him harder.

She then basically dragged him across the room.

Lou wanted to laugh, if only his neck hadn’t felt like it was about to snap. He still was an adult and even if he didn’t really manage to get over that one line from underweight to a healthy weight, he still weighed more than a stupid baby!

Additionally, Ecin was a doctor here. She didn’t necessarily got to the gym in her free time because she didn’t have any. Free time he means.

It still hurt his pride that she was able to lift him at all though…

Despite her slight struggle, she managed to sit down on a rocking chair that was placed on the opposite side of the room, right next to the window that was replaced and probably used a type of glass that wouldn’t break that easily.

He tried to distract himself, glancing towards it. Why did the room even have a window? He can’t even blame the other subject for taking that opportunity when it still could.

Maybe Ecin had underestimated it? Except, that wasn’t really like her, was it? Lou didn’t have a lot of information to go off of… how long has it been here already? What had Ecin done to it? He already knew that it’s teeth were pulled. Or maybe it’s vocal cords were cut and the teeth were an entirely different subject? The scientist would have loved to examine its corpse. He wanted to know what kind of experiments the doctor had done on it!

But sadly his distraction was ripped away from him again far sooner than he would have liked when the doctor grabbed the back of his head and directed it directly at a mirror. A mirror right in front of the rocking chair.

Fuck.

He stared at himself for a little while, time standing still as his brain struggled to make full sense of what he was seeing. The people in the mirror, staring back at him certainly were Ecin and himself but Lou didn’t recognize them.

He had never felt so close and yet so far away from his boss as he did now. It caused his mind to feel like it was running against a wall, similar to when he tried making out the real number of infinity.

Weirdly enough that turned into the main concern for him right now. Not the boy looking at him with wide-opened eyes but the middle-aged woman holding him, venomous green eyes perked up to show thin wrinkles under her glasses. Her smile bright but ominous and snarky.

He didn’t seem too shocked about what he was wearing as well. A onesie. Also pink just as pink as the walls of the nursery he was and will be stuck in for god knows how long.

He wasn’t shocked about the fact that his previously shoulder-long, uncombed hair had been shortened significantly and detangled to finally give his natural curls a chance to peak through.

He should have been. He knew normally he would be ‘causing a scene‘, how Ecin had called it. This outfit was hideous. But there were no strong emotions. His brain just took it in and kept it at that.

He only snapped out of it when Ecin let go of his head to start to unbutton said onesie.

No fucking way! No! She wouldn’t-

Lou’s breath caught in his throat.

“No.”, he tried to struggle against her hold but still, his body refused to move.

Shame, embarrassment and anger settled heavily in the pits of his stomach. He suddenly felt sick and his head was spinning. He couldn’t- she wouldn’t really- would she?!

His breaths shortened dangerously as he desperately tried to get air inside and Ecin stopped. One of her hands now gently ran through Lou’s hair as she sighed.

“Lou. This is nothing I haven’t seen already. There’s nothing to be embarrassed about! I personally… well, okay I won’t lie to you but let’s say I personally saw how Len fastened the diaper. It’s alright baby!”, she hummed and Lou’s face turned a flaming red.

Diaper?

He hadn’t even noticed he was already… oh god. He’s been wearing a diaper the whole time and hadn’t even noticed. There finally was the emotion he had been searching for when seeing himself in the mirror. He wanted to slowly descent into the ground. Preferably six feet deep. Never to be dug out ever again. Thank you.

„It’s alright baby. This is scary for you? Isn’t it?.“, she sighed exaggeratedly, as if she wasn’t the cause of his distress.

„Don’t make an expression like that! Do you know how hard this is for me?! I saved you and worked with you! Your behavior right now makes me look like a bad person! I‘m not a bad person! I want to save even more people Louis. Just like you. Don’t make this harder for me. Don’t worry Loui baby… I won’t ever hurt you.“, she leaned down and pressed a soft kiss on the crown of his head.

Lou was confused by the action. His mind fighting out a war. But somehow even just thinking about this was tiring him out. Everything here was just exhausting and his brain wasn’t working and he couldn’t think and… now he actually felt bad? Was that guilt?

It was simply unfair for the doctor to pull that card. Especially right now.

She did save him… he did owe her and he had tried these past few years to repay-

But he couldn’t finish the thought as Ecin actually removed the diaper and repositioned Lou on her lap.

„Now, we talked too long so let’s make this quick. Fifteen.“, and then her gloved hand came down hard.

Lou felt like he went underwater for a short second. Unable to breathe while something unnaturally heavy settled in his lungs. This didn’t feel like being dropped on the floor did. Maybe it was because he was paralyzed and it messed with his nervous system but the pain pulsed through his whole body.

Not sharp but dull.

Afterward there was a weird, almost tickling sensation spreading. He hated this. He felt like every time he even thought about trying to move his body the tickling sensation would start again. Settling into his bones and vibrating there back up to the surface where it just hurt so much.

It didn’t seem to end and Lou bit his lip.

His vision was swimming a little when suddenly it all did finally stop. There was no way that had been fifteen. Was there? He couldn’t remember. He forgot to count them. All that was in his brain was that feeling and he felt the first tear slip down his cheek.
Disgusting.

He barely could feel how he was hoisted back up and dragged into the crib. He only felt the tingling sensation again as he was laid back down fully. He also wore the diaper again. When did that happen? He emptily stared out of the bars in front of him and onto the carpet.

Maybe the doctor was talking to him. Maybe it was completely silent in the whole room. But Lou didn’t care. He was tired. He didn’t care.

It seemed like forever until he was ripped out of his frozen state by Len who held a baby bottle in his hand and a worried expression on his face. It seemed like forever until he felt like he was fully back in the present again. It seemed like forever until Lou was pulled out of the crib once more but with ease and got cradled in the other's arms, his head actually being supported this time.

The nipple of the bottle got softly pressed against his mouth as the guard swayed them a little.

Lou was too tired to fight it. Why was he so tired? Why didn’t he fight more? He hated himself. He hated himself so much right now. But he took it and was rewarded with a soft smile from the other as he also sat down on the rocking chair with Lou on his lap. But gently this time.

Even though he took the nipple into his mouth, he didn’t actually suck on it. He was too tired for that. But Len squeezed the bottle a little, forcing some of the stuff in it into his mouth. It was really sweet but had the underlying flavor of medicine right underneath that. Only then did the scientist‘s brain catch on.

He probably wasn’t just paralyzed.

They could have set him on all sorts of drugs. They could have given him everything under the sun. He closed his eyes in defeat. Hopefully, some drugs would wear off soon. Because the way his brain felt right now was nasty. Hopefully, he’d be able to pull together some more coherent thoughts soon. Hopefully, he could save some of his dignity then.

But for now, he let his mind wander into the black hole he knew as sleep. Falling down into the blissful unconscious of his own personal abyss.

•••

As Sabrina left the nursery Len was already standing outside of it. His face pulled into a funny face and the doctor couldn’t help but laugh. Her lab rat was just so cute! Sadly she did need to modify some of the attachment he had already formed.

He was her favorite! She couldn’t risk a malfunction on him in the same way the other did!

Then she’d either have to make a new one and find another name, which would be hard because names were man-made hell and Len had been the only name she thought would be easy to remember. Or she’d have to work hours upon hours of valuable time to repair him. Not fun.

Her mood turned sour as she remembered her current problem child. Who would have expected him to get so attached to that little brat?! And don’t even get her started on the ungrateful brat!

Angrily she snapped off her gloves, holding them with the very end of her fingertips. Yuck. She let her tongue stick out and slapped them onto the lab rat’s shoulder with a slapping noise.

“Throw those away. They are disgusting. Oh, and you can go inside now. Have fun!”, she winked at him.

Hopefully, the amount of medication she put Louis under was enough this time.

•••

Chapter Text

Lou felt shaky.

He felt as if he was shaking, but he couldn’t move so that was impossible.

And the room was spinning. Really fast. He felt nauseous. He tried focusing on one spot on the carpet but he wasn’t able to keep his gaze there.

It was like his brain was running a marathon. He felt on edge. Badly. As if there was something really important he had to have his attention on right the fuck now.

Well, yeah. Duh. His work of course!

But… theoretically he was doing his job right now… right?

But his previous work had been his life!

Yeah, that’s why he’s feeling so skittish. The blood running under his skin was practically vibrating as it burned and spread like a wildfire throughout his veins. A disgusting feeling.

And impossibly more disgusting had been the moment he had woken up again. Why?

His diaper.

He didn’t even want to think about it, but he was confident that one of the drugs Ecin set him under had been for incontinence. Or it was a side effect? Or maybe even both. Either way he fucking hated that fact.

And as if that hadn’t been bad enough, that bitch of a guard had fucking changed him?! Like hands on it all. Lou felt like he was about to throw up just thinking about it. That disgusting grimace of a smile and those weirdly definitely not reassuring ‘reassuring’ words.

He also was sweating a lot, he noted.

The onesie was sticking to him like a second skin. Or a really wet, skin tight nylon shirt. Gross. The feeling of it made him itchy.

The first time he had woken up, he had felt dulled and slow. Just so unreal. Maybe she had given him a drug against anxiety or something? Would make sense. It wouldn’t be good if the first time he woke up in there he’d have a panic attack…

She wants him to be compliant and develop a fear of not following her rules but not for him to feel unsafe. Because he has to, or rather, his brain has to associate acting like a child as a safe thing. Everything else would be counterproductive, wouldn’t it?

Again, Lou couldn’t help but admire his boss for thinking that one through.

Damn he probably should stop that but he can’t help it!

Because he’d do the same.

If this had been his experiment he’d have done the same.

Why should he care about the test subject?

So this is fine. He was pissed but it was fine. It was fine as long as he looked at it from an outside perspective. As long as he watched it like a recording, play out in front of him as if he was studying an old recoding of an old experiment of people he didn’t know and never would meet.

That reminded him, not only was he suffering in this oversized crib but he also was completely alone.

The second time he had woken up had been when the guard was lifting him out of the crib to feed him his second bottle.

Maybe the bottles contained benzodiazepine? As far as Lou knew, Ecin loved that drug. Mainly for her test subjects of course.

But would it make sense in his case? He went over the way he was feeling after the bottle. He was confident that there was something in the way too sweet milky stuff, but he wasn’t sure if it was his bosses favorite sedation drug to calm down her subjects or if it was something else.

But she wouldn’t make him take that drug too often, would she?

Wait, was he feeling like shit right now because he hadn’t taken his- Ah no way. He wasn’t addi- no. No. Or was he actually…

No wait, what was he thinking just now?

Something had brought him to that thought. How did he go to end up at pills and drugs?

He had thought about Ecin’s favorite drug… the bottles… Len… AH!

Right. Right. That’s where he was.

Anyways, after the guard fed him the bottle he was laid back down.

No wait, first the stupid bastard had patted his back like crazy while walking around the room in circles. Weird ass creep.

Then Lou had been placed down again and that ‘thing’ left.

How long ago had that been? Lou didn’t know.

It felt as if it had been hours since then.

The room was so silent he could hear it. He could actually hear it! It was driving him mad. That buzzing of silence in his ears.

Trying to distract himself he started rethinking everything that had happened on his first day.

Was it still the first day?

How long has he been unconscious before anyway?

Focus!

The ‘spanking’ he had gotten still was stuck in his very bones. Maybe his ass was still red? He wouldn’t know. He’d also appreciate it if he never did get to know.

It was only natural though. Looking at it from a birds perspective it was only reasonable. Ecin had to do it on the first day. She had to establish the power imbalance one way or another.

He still hated it.

Also, while changing his… god don’t even make Lou think that one through. He didn’t want to complete that sentence. It was disgusting. Ecin had called it keeping him ‘clean’. Lou still thinks of it as the most disgusting thing to ever have happened in this uselessly stupid world. It was very high on his list of ‘so disgusting I wanna throw up’.

Didn’t matter if it was on adults or actual babies or if it was on someone else or on himself. It was disgusting.

Why even did people, actual parents at that, force their children to sit in their own waste?! Did they hate them that much for tearing apart their mothers body?

He wouldn’t know.

If he could he actually would have asked his own mother that one. But well, that question could answer itself in this case.

He huffed without being able to control the sound. He actually made himself huff out a laugh… well wasn’t he just funny as shit?

Rolling his eyes he tried to redirect his train of thought to his initial one.

Oh yes. He was about to laugh at the memory of the guards eyes actually turning a little glassy as he undressed Lou. Although probably not because he was disgusted… sadly. Lou would have liked him to just realize how fucked up it was and straight up run out of the room. Maybe he wouldn’t have come back ever again? God that would feel like Christmas did to a child. But would he have send someone else in his stead?

No actually, Lou was glad the guard didn’t seem to be able to think of any of this as weird. He wouldn’t survive the humiliation of being seen like this by his coworkers. They had always been jealous of him and they wouldn’t pass off this opportunity to laugh at him over this. They would never be able to respect him ever again afterwards.

His image would be completely ruined!

Fuck. He had strayed from his original thought again.

God he was so nauseous right now. Did the ground always spin like this? He blinked to try and focus on… just anything.

Where had he been? Humiliation and… the guard… right!

The guard had looked utterly shocked looking at Lou’s naked body. Maybe his ass was really red from the spanking? But then again, the guard hadn’t really stared at his ass. The way he had moved almost seemed mechanical as well. Professional. As if he really was a dad just changing a babies diaper… Focus! No no, his glassy gaze had been caught further up… but where again?

Lou wrecked his brain trying to remember. But at the same time this was a great distraction! God he was amazing… okay… the guard had looked slightly above Lou’s stomach and pretty intensely on the side of his body… his ribs? Was that where he had stared at? At his ribs? Yeah, that seemed about right… but why the hell?!

He was ripped out of his thoughts when finally someone bothered to look how he was doing again. Lou let out at silent sigh of relief when he saw that it wasn’t the guard but Ecin.

She wasn’t wearing stuff as casual as the last time he had seen her. After she did so-called ‘stuff’ to him. Very professional vocabulary, he did have to admit. No, she was wearing her lab coat. Sterile. As it should be… right?

But it also meant that she was planning something. Especially if the smile on her face was anything to go off of.

“Hey baby Loui.”, she grinned at him. “How were your first few hours?”

Few hours? So it hadn’t even been that long… god fucking damn it. How was that even possible?!

“Loui! It’s time to get you into your new routine! I know you might- oh, honey? Are you okay?”, she blinked down at him worriedly. Fake worried? Really worried? Lou was never really able to tell. It probably was fake though.

He flinched… or felt as if he flinched… he was very surprised okay?!, when she suddenly placed her hand on top of his forehead, brushing away a stray strand of hair that was sticking onto his skin.

“Mhhhh… well, I guess that’s what happens when you overdo it with the pain meds… hey don’t look at me like this!”, she flicked his forehead before going back to softly caressing it. That had hurt like shit…

“It’s not my fault you self medicated Loui baby.”, she let her bottom lip jut out.

‘Self medicate’?! Pah.

“Nah, now don’t you lie to me baby.”, she winked at him. He didn’t even say shit!

“It’ll be okay Loui! Usually the withdrawal should stop making you feel all yucky after a week or so. It weren’t hard drugs, you should be happy!”, she beamed at him.

The fucking audacity?!

Sure, sometimes Lou did take a painkiller. Everyone did. One pill, two pills. Who even cares? But who knows how many drugs Ecin pumped into him that were now wearing off? There was no way that this was withdrawal from just the one or two painkillers he sometimes took! That bitch was trying to redirect the fault here! It was her fucking fault he felt like shit!

Also, ‘he should be happy’?! What the fuck?!

But before he could even try to defend his honor the doctor continued on as if nothing even happened.

“So, let’s get on with our beautiful dayy! Your first ever complete daily routine! I specifically designed it just for you Loui baby!”, she tapped onto his nose and Lou scrunched up his face as response.

“Ahhh aren’t you just adorable?”, Ecin squealed.

“So! Baby we are now going to change rooms, okay? LEN!”, oh god no. And as if the bastard had just waited for her to scream his name, he suddenly just spawned out of thin air, right above Lou’s head. Fucking hell?! Don’t tell him the guard had been in the room this whole time?!

“Take him.”

Then Lou was softly lifted out of the crib again. At least his head got supported again. It still hurt a little just thinking about how his neck almost snapped when Ecin had literally dragged him out there.

“Oh…I think I have to change him first.”

No.

Nonono.

Don’t you fucking tell him-

Lou felt blood rush towards his cheeks. Oh that was some strong ass stuff to make him this impotent… fuck. Fuck!

He hadn’t even realized that-

Fuck!

He saw his vision starting to blur. He was not going to cry over that! He wasn’t! No! God, fuck.

He was so fucking disgusting!

This all was so fucking disgusting!

Please…

Now that he had been made aware of ‘it’, he just couldn’t fucking ignore it! Disgusting!

He wanted… needed out! Now! Fucking hurry up bitch!

He was brought over to the huge changing table.

Actually… wait.

Was Ecin going to just stay here?! Fuck no! No no no! Fuck! Don’t you fucking dare open that! He can’t just do that! No!

“Shh, it’s okay. I’ll be really fast, don’t you worry.”, the guard tried to shush him and Lou just stared at him in bewilderment.

“No.”, his voice was still weak. Raspy. What the fuck?! Ecin said she didn’t do anything to his vocal cords or shit! Why was it like this?

“Oh but we need a yes.”, the bastard shot back, cocking his head. A blank strand of hair had managed to free itself out of the weird headband and Lou stared at it. Anything will do to distract himself if he isn’t able to physically struggle against this.

If only he could be like the-

…no. He… he did not just try to relate to fucking hair, did he?! What the fuck?! Was he going crazy?!

Okay, it’s confirmed. Not even twenty four hours in this baby proof experiment of a desert he chose himself and Louis Tember was ready to be locked away in a psych ward.

God!

“You are doing so so well Louis. Just a little more.”, the guard told him softly while… nope, Lou isn’t even going to think about it. He won’t acknowledge it. No. The creep did not have his hand there and putting what ever cold stuff that was on there. No. No, Lou refused. If he didn’t acknowledge it it didn’t actually happen.

It did happen.

With Ecin in the room at that.

Lou wanted to die again.

Please just someone strike him dead. Have mercy. Whoever is up there please! He never was one to pray but he was willing to try it if it could actually save him from the embarrassment.

He closed his eyes, trying to not notice the hot tear running down his cheek and into his fucking ear. It actually just dropped into his ear. Fuck. As if it couldn’t get any worse!

He felt a hand wiping at his cheek. Useless. The tear had already fallen. He was done. He was already done. He wasn’t fucking crying!

“Shhhh. It’s okay. See? Already done baby.”

“You bitch.”, Lou whispered just slightly above his breath. Maybe they wouldn’t even hear it?

Oh but they did hear it. Lou knew that because of the hurt expression on the others face and the sudden, not really soft grip on his arm.

Ecin shoved her face into his own. She smiled but… well, that was nothing to go off of.

“Loui. Do you remember what I told you? If you don’t know how to use your mouth the correct way I’ll stuff it for you. Talking is a privilege my dear. You just lost it for the rest of the day. And after our little outing you’ll get five. I don’t let stuff like this slide.”, she hissed and Lou swallowed dryly.

How was she going to ‘stuff’ his mouth? She wouldn’t actually rip out his teeth… would she? It was just one sentence! One tiny sentence! Only two little harmless words! Two little harmless words Ecin had already heard him use really often!

Why…

His head was spinning. Just what was she going to-

Then something got literally stuffed into his mouth. It almost had him choking with how much force was used.

“You’ll hurt him!”, Len grabbed the doctors hand and started to handle the weird boxy object himself. Ecin huffed.

“God, you are so dramatic!”, she rolled her eyes while Lou felt a strap being secured behind his head. There was a clicking noise. Was that a gag? Did they gag him?! He tried to spit the foreign object out of his mouth but it didn’t budge.

Great.

Just great!

“Now reflect on your mistake little boy!”

Yes, he was thinking about what his mistake had been… he should have used his mouth more while he still could!

All the lovely curses he could have used. Ohhhh they wouldn’t have been ready for that shit storm! Fuck!

He tried to bite off whatever rubbery stuff had been pressed into his mouth.

Rubbery?

No.

No, please don’t tell him that that was a pacifier? She really… Lou breathed out heavily through his nose.

“Loui Loui Loui. You broke like… three rules in one with these two words. What am I going to do with you…”, she sighed as she shoved the guard away from Lou.

“Well, you’ll get your spanking later. Let’s go!”, she clapped her hands and turned on her heel. Her had returned to euphoria again.

“And just so you know where we are going.”, she started while the guard picked up Lou again to follow right behind Ecin.

“You’ll have your first day of… well, kindergarten if you so will.”, she singsonged. Kindergarten?! Okay well that’s what exactly?! Fucking what?!

“I developed it just for you! It’s going to be so much fun, you’ll see!… if you know what’s good for you.”, she added the last part after the doors had opened and winked at him. He couldn’t stand her wink anymore. That fucking wink!

He got carried to another testing room not far from his own. Luckily also with no one crossing their path. Maybe that was the result of his praying? Nah, who is he kidding. There is no god.

“Now, let’s get it started!”

The room wasn’t big. Rather it was really small. In the middle was a table, just like the one where he had signed the contract. That damn contract. He wanted to slap himself. Why did he let himself be provoked like that?! But he couldn’t change it anymore.

There was also a type of machine there that had lots and lots of cables running from it towards a… chair? A really weird looking chair.

It was supported on every side. Straps everywhere. It looked like a torture device. Lou pressed his eyes closed again.

Ecin wasn’t not going to strap him onto that. No way. What kind of kindergarten was this?!

But when he opened his eyes again it all was still there. Worse even, he was already getting strapped into the chair!

The straps held up his body completely while it just hung in them. Literally just hung.

The last thing that was strapped was his neck and head, then Ecin fastened stickers on him that were connected to the weird wires. He now actually tried to find Len. His eyes brushing over everything else to find the artificial bastard he hated with a passion. But god he was his only hope right now.

But he wasn’t there. Lou couldn’t see him. He was left alone with Ecin. Fucking traitor! He couldn’t just pretend to care and then fucking run!

Lou felt his blood boil.

That bitch!

“Okay Loui baby. This first day will be really easy, you hear me?”, Ecin started, taunting him by remaining behind him, working on the machine. Lou could hear the beeping sounds it did from time to time.

Almost every body part was connected to it with a sticker now. He didn’t have a good feeling about this.

“I will show you some pictures and the weird machine here will react to your reaction towards them. Doesn’t that sound fun?”, she lightly wrapped her arms around his shoulders before letting go again and returning to the ‘weird machine’. She really did have an astounding vocabulary, didn’t she?

Just then did Lou realize that there was something on the table. A folder. But before he could get a better look on it Ecin had already grabbed it.

“Let’s go! … mh… I think you can handle a stage three… yeah, sounds about right.”, she blabbered around.

Stage three of what?

Stage three of what?!

“There we go! Okay, picture number one!”, a big picture was placed in front of Lou.

It showed a model. A well proportioned one. As he let his eyes wander over her body he suddenly felt a shock running through him. Shit.

Shit that fucking hurt!

He felt like he wanted to curl into himself from the sudden stabbing pain that rushed through him.

He bit down hard on the pacifier in his mouth. He rubber sturdy somehow helping him in his misery.

“Nah ah! Naughty little baby! I can see where your eyes are and they weren’t supposed to be there! Babies don’t think about something like that!”

He hadn’t even fucking thought about anything! He glared at the metal of the cold desk.

“Aww you are so cute when you pout! Okay, let’s continue!”, she grabbed the picture and replaced it.

The next one showed a bottle of booze and Lou purposefully only looked at it shortly to avoid another one of those electric shocks.

“Good boy! Alcohol is really really bad for a developing brain! I’m so proud of you!”, so that’s how this was going to be? She was trying to have his brain connect adult things with pain. She wanted to reprogram his brain. Well, obviously she would want that but… Lou hadn’t expected her to go about it just like this.

So all he had to do was basically just not look at the pictures. He almost just smirked. This would be easy as fuck.

And as if the universe wanted to show him just what an asshole he was and how much he deserved to suffer, the next photo was from his own work space.

Instantly his eyes were glued onto it. He couldn’t help that instinct. It was his! That was his work space! His work!… god his work…

But before he could get sentimental, there was an even worse electric shock. He felt as if his brain had been short circulated. He had to reboot for a second there.

Fuuuck.

That had been… that had been more than a stage three. Way more. Fuck. Was that even still a level manageable for humans?! There was no way. Although, he was still here, wasn’t he?… he was… right? Was he?!

His brain felt so slow suddenly.

The picture had now been replaced by a copy of one of his documents and again his eyes were glued to it like magnets to the magnetic door of a fridge. So much for ‘just don’t look at it’ huh.

Another shock ran through him and he felt as if he couldn’t breathe. The air had been knocked out of him and his vision was blurring dangerously. It hurt. So much. It’s plain torture at this point. How long did Ecin plan on doing this ‘kindergarten’ with him? His body couldn’t possibly take more.

“Loui Loui. That work isn’t part of your life anymore. Bad baby!”, she tsked but then continued to talk. As if the torture of the electric shocks hadn’t been enough.

“You know, that work has been a reason for you to live given by me. I gave you purpose. I can take that purpose and replace it again. Don’t you worry your pretty little head.”, she let her fingers run through his hair.

How dare she talk about that? How fucking dare she?

His vision was fully blurred now and he felt as if an elephant was sitting on his chest.

This was simply unfair.

So unfair.

He bit down on the pacifier again. It really did help a little.

Fuck this shitty thing! He hated it!

“Awww baby. I know. I know this is hard for you. Don’t worry, this won’t take much longer!”

In the end that torture took another hour. More pictures. Sometimes just the drivers seat of a car, sometimes more of his work, sometimes painkillers he would, in the very sense of the word, kill for right now.

Somewhere in between Lou was sure he had lost consciousness for a little while. Maybe he really did? He didn’t know.

When it finally was over, he just wanted to sleep. Even if it was in that stupid crib. Just away from that room. Just away from the pain that had just continued to be upped.

Finally, Len was back to carry him to the crib. Just the soft crib. Then he’d finally be left alone.

But he wasn’t placed in the crib. He was placed over Ecin’s lap again.

He blinked, confused.

“Awww baby, I know you’re tired right now. Kindergarten can be so so exhausting, I know. But you still need to have your punishment Loui. Five. Then daddy will give you your bottle. Oh! And Mommy has a little surprise for you for completing your first day of kindergarten!”, the doctor cooed softly as she undid the onesie.

Again Len had left just after placing him there.

But Lou didn’t even have the energy to curse him out right now.

The slaps hurt just as much as the first time around. The painful tingling feeling of the first time returned as well.

Lou hated it.

Then Len was back.

Luckily it had only been five this time. Luckily he had the pacifier in his mouth to avoid getting more. No wait. No. He hated the pacifier. He didn’t want it to block his own freedom of speech! But… maybe he was a little thankful that it muffled the pitiful sounds he made.

The bottle tasted the same as the last times. Too sweet. Too medical. But Lou swallowed it all. Not like he had a choice.

His head was killing him. He also still felt sticky. Maybe it was time for a bath? A hot shower sounded nice right now.

No but that would mean Ecin or Len watching him. Or maybe even bathing him.

Fuck.

Again Len was patting his back like a mad man, which he definitely was. Ecin had went to clean up the bottle but Lou was sure she would just place it somewhere for Len to clean up later. Who wouldn’t just use the artificial human they made to perform mundane tasks? Wasn’t like Len would complain about-

… the guard!

Fuck, when did he start calling him- it! When did he start calling ‘it’ by a fucking name?!

Finally Ecin returned and Lou was placed in the crib. Fucking finally. He just wanted to close his eyes forever.

But before he could, something soft was pressed against his arms while said arms were moved to ‘hug’ it. He couldn’t actually hug it. He could barely twitch with his finger but somehow the softness of the thing was grounding. Albeit a little annoying in the way it tickled his now sensitive and still buzzing skin.

“It’s your reward for your first milestone! Actually… I think your first diaper change should have counted but then again it’s not something you can even control right now sooooo.”, he also couldn’t control being strapped onto a torture device, could he now?! But be let his eyes stay closed.

That was something to think about once he was awake again.

Chapter Text

(
“What the fuck you think you’re doing kid?!”, the shrill voice scraped at his very bones and Louis froze. Shit. He’s been caught.

Shit!

He didn’t dare move as the voice and heels clacking got closer.

Just his luck…

“Look at me when I’m talking to you! What kind of fucking manners are those huh?!”, this coming from the fine and proper ‘lady’ that just spat out a curse word like it’s nothing…

Louis allowed himself to roll his eyes while he still had his back turned at the annoying woman.

“… I said, look. At. Me.”, she made lots of weird breaks in the sentence. But it did bring the point across, Louis had to agree. It sounded menacing even. He’d have to remember that.

Slowly he turned around and was instantly struck by venomous, green eyes, pinning him to his spot. He only realized that his hands were shaking excessively when the pills fell down to the ground, spreading and rolling around like weirdly shaped marbles.

If he was lucky he might just trip and fall on them. Would that be enough to break his own spine? Well, he’d just have to fall right.

“Hey!”, the woman snapped her fingers in front of his face. She was so close, Louis held his breath.

“You know that if I tell someone here about a student stealing pills, you’ll probably get suspended, right? Maybe even completely blacklisted.”, there wasn’t even the slightest hint of worry in her voice, but rather an amused undertone. What a weird woman.

Dangerous, Louis thought. If she really were to snitch then he wouldn’t even have this anymore.

Then that would be it.

He’d have no achievements to show for himself. No plan b if the pills didn’t work… maybe it was a telltale sign of him not wanting plan a to work in the first place, for him to even have a plan b.

He shook his head, trying to get his brain to quiet down.

“We wouldn’t want that now, would we?”, the woman snarled while impatiently tapping her foot on the ground.

“What do you need them for? Got a sample and now can’t get enough? You wouldn’t be the first imbecile.”, she let out a short laugh that had Louis straighten his back.

He hadn’t tried those pills before! He hadn’t! He wasn’t an addict! He just…

“Give me that!”, and without Louis being able to react, she had already snatched the package he had just emptied into his hand, from the counter. The woman turned it around in her hand for bit. Her gaze switching between the writing on it towards Louis and back, one of her eyebrows pulled up.

“Opioid analgesics, huh? What? Do you have diarrhea or something and are too ‘scared’ to go to a real doctor?!”

“W-what?! Excuse me?!”

“Well, opioid is also used for the suppression of diarrhea.”, she laughed. She actually laughed. She was making fun of Louis! He felt his face going bright red.

“Awww did the little med student think he was oh so smart he could self-medicate? Sorry to break it to you bitch but those won’t help with your little problem. Just because it has opioid-“, she clicked her tongue but didn’t continue her sentence.

“Please, that’s opioid basics.”, she threw the package toward him but it landed on the ground with a ‘thud’.

Louis was still too stunned. Did she really just call him a ‘bitch’?! He could only stare.

“What? Not even going to defend yourself? Boriiing.”, she threw her hands into the air and turned around.

“Such a shame. I heard you had great potential. Oh well. See you in class.”, she winked at him before leaving the room.

Fuck.

What a- what a- Louis let out a harsh breath. What a… bitch.
)

When Lou woke up again he was pissed. But his head was weirdly clear. Maybe that’s the whole reason he was able to feel this fucking pissed?!

Then again, no one likes fucking dreaming about their time as a med student.

Also, his fucking diaper was wet.

The fucking guard was standing over him cooing down like some idiot.

But, to also look at the positive aspects, Lou could turn his head.

Yes, he was also surprised that his head actually followed his own commands again but shit was it still annoying.

Don’t get him wrong! He’ll take any progress he can get but there still was the underlying feeling of claustrophobia because of the lack of movement and somewhat feeling from the rest of his body.

That bitch Ecin!

That goddamn bitch! How dare she electrocute him?!

It had already been three days since the first day at ‘kindergarten’ or whatever.

A routine has been clearly established and Lou had to say he was already growing bored of it.

Getting woken up when it’s still dark outside once to get a bottle and sometimes a diaper change. He still didn’t understand how the control of his bladder had left him just like that. Yesterday the guard even fucking forced him to- No… don’t, don’t make him think about it… he had pressed down and- no no nope. Anyway.

Then the guard rocks him a bit and places him back into the crib. All while taking extra steps to keep that stupid fox plushy, the first reward for his ‘achievements’, with them at every step. Why, Lou could only guess. Weird ass punk.

He gets to sleep till it’s bright outside and gets his second bottle and, if the first time was a miss, his diaper change.

Following that is the black-haired punk taking his sweet sweet time walking around the room with Lou helplessly in his arms, completely unable to fight the perverted phantasies of Lou being a little baby and him being a dad.

“You are so cute Louis!”
Or
“Who’s a good boy?”
Sadly weren’t uncommon.

He isn’t a dog!

But then there was also stuff like: “Was mommy mean to you yesterday?”
Or
“You are safe with me.”

Kind of interesting, honestly.

Then Lou will be placed back in the crib for what seems like ages.

Literally just placed there to fend for himself. Then he’s all alone. Left to his own thoughts in complete silence. Sadly the perfect opportunity to think about his life.

…not that he’d do that…

Usually he just glares at the stupid stuffed animal. In his boredom, he even gave it a fucking name yesterday! God he has sunken so low… well, the fox is now named Lily.

Anyways. After the alone time, Len comes back to give Lou another bottle and check his diaper again. He really was missing solid food now… if only he had cherished it more when he still could. He already made it his mission to cook himself something real like…okay… maybe a salad…

But he’ll make himself a salad and… no wait… he’ll buy himself an all-done salad after this is finally over and he’ll take his goddamn time to enjoy it!

Well, at least like… solid five minutes. Then he’d finally return to his work and probably those protein bars. Although, that’ll probably result in rabbit hunger again… nah, whatever. At least he’ll treasure solids more now. Isn’t that a lesson learned?

God, he couldn’t wait to finally get back to some real work! To finally be useful again. That really was the only thing keeping him sane right now. And it’s only been like four days! But boredom was really messing with his brain. And maybe the evenings full of electroshocks were as well.

Wait… where was he? Ah yeah right, his routine.

After that third bottle, he’s left alone again until sunset and then Ecin makes an appearance. So much for ‘I’ll take part in the caretaking’ or whatever. Lou was starting to feel like the child of divorced parents here, god!

Anyways, she’ll do some shit chat mixed with baby talk for like ten minutes and then get Len to carry Lou to that dreaded room.

Then it’s ‘kindergarten’ time. Yay? Lou really hated it but then again that was what it was for, wasn’t it?

But it got worse every damn time!

Why? Because Ecin did not just stick to an hour of pictures of ‘adult stuff’ and shocks. Nooooo. Because that would be way too easy. No, she also added a reward system. Mixed in baby shit and gave Lou actually some sweet stuff every time he saw those specific pictures.

Yesterday she also introduced a ‘game’. One of those children's games and every time Lou stepped out of line he got zapped.

It was humiliating!

He already dreaded today…

At least Ecin hasn’t tried to carry him herself ever again after that first day.

Maybe she’d do it again when Lou had earned himself another punishment? But then again he had managed to not say a single word in the last two days after the pacifier got removed again. Maybe they don’t want him to associate negative things with it? Well, he on the other side just didn’t want the humiliation to repeat itself. Didn’t mean he hadn’t forgotten about it.

Anyways, when he’s back in his room, Len- the guard! The guard gives Lou yet another bottle just in the rocking chair this time, walks around with him a bit, sits back down on the rocking chair again, blabbers on and on about how cute Lou was and how perfect, how Len was safe and about how mean Ecin was, etcetera.

No wait… Lou forgot about the baths every other day. Or at least that’s what he’s been told. The first bath had been yesterday, Lou did actually get red eyes from the embarrassment and Ecin had ‘kindly gifted’ him a rubber duck for this ‘achievement’. What even was an achievement here? What did she consider an achievement?! Lou honest to god didn’t know.

Then he gets put to bed, or in this case, to crib and actually gets read some kind of brainless story.

Every time without fucking fail. God. Lou wanted to rip out his own hair.

He was so bored.

But luckily his dream had brought some… let's call it inspiration. Why should those two be the only ones getting to have some fun?

Yeah, if Lou couldn’t do anything else he’d at least have some fun and get his revenge on Ecin for the electric shocks.

At the thought, he had let out a little laugh and the guard had stopped right then and there in his walking to stare wide-eyed at him.

Jup, that’s right. They currently were at the ‘after the second bottle walk’ stage of the day.

And actually, that was fucking perfect to start with! Let the fun begin.

“What has my cute Louis smiling like this huh? You are adorable!”, he basically squealed. The guard probably didn’t expect an answer but Lou decided to take it as an invitation. So, with the now newly gained power to utilize his neck muscles he nuzzled into the other`s chest a little.

How was it possible for someone’s heart to audible skip a beat like this and then thump three times as hard? Lou could hear it as clear as day from his position.

Fucking pushover. This would he so easy.

“Are we cuddly today? Daddy will never decline that.”, oh yeah and before Lou forgets that part. The bastard has gotten so comfortable he actually started calling himself daddy. Isn’t that just fucking gross. But, okay, he’s just a lab rat. He probably doesn’t know it any better. He’s just following what Ecin orders him to do.

At least most of it.

Or rather, some orders surely contradicted each other and Ecin hasn’t had the time to correct that.

Lou was going to use that.

“You know, daddy knows that mommy told you about punishments from daddy. But I want my baby to know that daddy won’t ever take away cuddling as a punishment. You can always ask for those, okay Louis?”

If only he could stop calling Lou ‘Louis’. He hated that. The stupid guard had called him that ever since he had to drop the ‘mister Tember’.

But that’s something for later!

Focus!

Tentatively Lou nudged his head towards Lily the fox plushie that hung uselessly from Len’s hand and then made puppy dog eyes towards the other.

“What is it mh? What does my little Louis want?”

“Hold?”, jackpot. He had just completely caught Len with that one single word.

It probably hit even harder considering that he hasn’t spoken in two fucking days.

There was a short silence.

“You wanna hold your foxy? Oh but, Louis, baby you are too small to properly hold it right now. I’m so sorry.”, the guard was brought to tears. Real, literal tears right now. What a softy.

Also, ‘too small’?! He was fucking paralyzed! The fuck you mean ‘too small’?! Even newborns can hold onto shit!

No, no. Lou tried to calm himself. He was not going to get angry because he couldn’t hug a goddamn plushie. No, no. It actually played right into his hands!

He turned his head so far that his eyes were hidden and then tried his best at a somewhat whimpering sound. He cringed a little at himself but seeing the other's face look as if his whole family just died in a fire was so worth it!

Don’t laugh! Don’t you dare laugh!

“Okay okay! Tell you what! We can… we can stuff it between us huh? Wouldn’t that be like hugging? And then it won’t fall down and hit its head. What do you say?”, such a problem solver. Lou quickly rolled his eyes in hiding before leaving his little hideout to once again look at the others face. Then he nodded timidly.

The guard instantly was beaming down it him. God damn lightbulb.

Lily was then promptly sandwiched between the both of them. It was uncomfortable to say the least but it was good build-up, Lou supposed.

“I don’t-“, then he cut off the sentence. He really tried to make the sudden cut-up as dramatic as possible to really come across as a simple scared child.

“Mh? What was that Louis? You can always talk to me!”, he sounds like one of those cardboard cutouts that represented the mothers in the later 1940. He’s the perfect housewife, isn’t he?

Focus!

No but, really, he seemed so flat. Was this his whole personality now? He had even been more exciting when Lou first met him.

Anyway.

Moving on!

“The kindergarten is mean.”, maybe not the ideal way to start what Lou wants to see but he didn’t know how else to actually get the ball rolling sooo.

“Awww I know. I know! It’s so mean! I already talked to mommy about it but she said it’s good for your mental health and development! I’m really sorry Louis!”

“Mommy meen.”, phew. That was like way too close to Lou getting a strike.

He swore to himself that this would be the first and also very much last time he had called Ecin ‘mommy’! Disgusting. Unacceptable! God!

Then he saw it. Only for a split second. Or, maybe it was just the weird lighting and his mind playing tricks on him but there was the smallest shadow of a quick and devious smile. Not much longer than a quarter of a millisecond but it left an eerie feeling behind that Lou quickly pressed down. There, now he looks just really concerned! Focus on that and your play!

“Now don’t say that Louis! That’s really bad, you know? Oh but don’t worry! Daddy won’t tell mommy you said that! It’ll be our little secret! But I’m only doing it this once! Okay?”

Lou nodded and Len smiled widely again.

“Because I know how hard it is for you. Please remember, daddy will always be here for you after mommy was mean to you!”, he tightened his grip around Lou.

“You’ll protect me?”, Lou whispered. Honestly he had goosebumps right now but maybe it was just because it was rather cold here. He’s just trying to play them against each other a little.

Len’s eyes grow wide at Lou’s words.

“Of course I will! Daddy will always protect you!”, okay, that’s it for today. But Lou will continue tomorrow! Let’s see if it’ll already have some influence on the rest of the day.

“But now you have to lay back down for a bit Louis. Mh? Because babies need lots and lots of sleep! We don’t want daddy’s little baby to be all grumpy.”, he clumsily tried to tickle Lou’s stomach but to say it didn’t have an impact on him was still generous.

He still made an effort to sweetly smile at Len.

Remember! He had a goal!

Simply the image of Len and Ecin exchanging some words and the doctor’s blood starting to boil because Len was so naive and stupid.

Or maybe Len will actually get angry at Ecin because the doctor is so mean to the ‘baby’?

That unlikely possibility had a real smile creep up on Lou.

His first time actually having fun in here! Hello? Where’s his gift for this achievement?!

No no. Be patient! The gift will be the chaos! Yeah, that’s it!

Lou was now already back in his crib and facing the carpet.

Wait.

He could move his neck!

He didn’t need to stare at the same spot as the last few days anymore! He could look where ever he wanted to look! The endless possibilities?

He directed his gaze onto the ceiling and his enthusiasm instantly disappeared. Right. The stock footage of some clouds was plastered up there. He had blended that part out. Shit. God. No.

He turned to face the wall.

Jup… still pink.

Same old pink.

Nothing changed.

He let out a harsh breath through his nose. He was going to die from boredom, wasn’t he?

That’s how that stage eventually ended after years and years (around three hours) of wait and silence.

Len returned with another bottle.

Lou gave it his best child performance and some more ‘mommy is so scary and mean’ shit.

Then he was left alone again.

The day is going by even slower than any snail he had ever seen in his miserable life!

He sighed.

It hadn’t been all that miserable… he just… he hasn’t and still doesn’t know how to…

No! No he’s not going to get all philosophical about his own fucking life!

He had brought over the morning so well! He should be able to just doze for the second half of it!

But there is only so much he could do to not let his inner monologue comment on his life till now.

Because well, yeah, his life had been absolutely perfect until he ruined it.

Perfect parents everyone else envies him for. You might think now that they died and that is why Lou was… well, Lou. But that’s not even it! They are alive and well and-

focus!

They were upper middle class even. He never had to worry about anything!

His dad, even if he was rarely home to ensure that they could keep their lifestyle, always had a smile on his face when he met Louis at the door.

Even when his company fired him because they wanted to ‘renovate’.

It didn’t end well, they had to file for bankruptcy two years later. Firing all the old specialists without thinking about why they are considered ‘specialists’ does that to you. Suck it.

Then he went through multiple job changes and was less and less home.

All while they had started to build their very own house a few months ago.

Then suddenly the people renting them their then home had just thrown them out because they wanted the house for their own son.

Once, when Lou had been sneaking downstairs late at night to get himself a glass of water, he overheard a conversation his parents were having.

They talked about not being able to afford the new house. That they might have to be homeless for a bit. Or maybe that’s just what Louis believed they said. Maybe his child mind back then had just concluded to that.

He had also been hell bent on the belief that that was his fault. That if they had money problems it was because of him. Because every time they went shopping he asked for something. Because they send him to school. Because he hadn’t wanted to eat the green pepper his mom had put into dinner the day before. Just those little things.

So he came to the conclusion every smart child would come to. Louis had to die. Simple as that.

It’s actually kind of funny to think back at that moment. Because it’s a moment burned into Lou’s memory like a core memory.

He had it all planned out! He would wait until after school, come back home where both his parents had already left for work long ago, grab a prepared backpack and walk out the door again.

He didn’t want his parents to find the scene! Because deaths are gruesome and traumatic for the people who find the dead body. Louis had heard about that. He didn’t want that for his parents.

Now here was where the problem came.

How does a person die?

Little Louis actually didn’t know the right way and Lou had to laugh at the memory.

He had only known that blood loss could cause death. Or jumping from something high. That one man that lived around the block had done that. The man had once been really smart, or so his mom told him. One day his brain couldn’t handle it anymore and it just ‘stopped’. Then he turned stupid. Louis remembered how he would always walk the street up and down like a zombie. Apparently, he couldn’t cope anymore and jumped.

But how was the right way to jump? Louis hadn’t known. And he had a fear of heights. Cutting himself also wasn’t something he wanted to do.

And so the backpack just continued to rot inside of his closet with a kitchen knife inside. Until he thought he should try it. He should get over his own fears! For his parents! So they could be happy again! But he somehow had to say good bye. Because even if they wouldn’t miss him and finally would be happy, he’d still do. He’d still miss them when he’d be in heaven. Also, he really wanted to know how they’d react to the news!

So he went up to his mother, sat on her lap and asked “Mom? What would you do if I wasn’t there anymore?”

There was a long silence. A real heavy one as well and his mom had turned really serious.

“I’d be empty.”, mom had smiled at him with sad eyes.

“I wouldn’t know what I’d do with myself. I think, I’d just go with you.”, more silence in which Louis swallowed heavily. “Listen to me, okay? I want you to live a long and happy life! A world without you isn’t even possible to me.”

That hadn’t been the answer Louis had expected and it had stunned him. More even, he realized that him dying wouldn’t be as good for his parents, or at least his mom, as he had thought…

But what now? He had already mentally prepared himself to die! He had been ready to die! It was difficult to convince his brain of something else now…

Somehow he had felt like a deflated balloon after talking to his mother that day.

Empty, disgusting, small and all over the place.

The way his mother had spoken to him that day though. He missed the days she had still loved him. He honestly did. Sadly it’s been a long time since… oh well, who even needs her?! God damn bitch.

Thinking about this now, Lou doesn’t think he’s ever told anyone about that core memory. He hadn’t even thought about it in literal years! It had just been one of those stupid kid conclusions every little child comes to from time to time. Nothing more. Pretty sure there were plenty of kids that had something similar happen to them once or twice. So why did his mind get so hung up on it? Maybe because he’s been conditioned to this kid space? Could that be it?

“Who even cares?”, oh shit, he really just said that out loud?! He was going crazy from boredom! He told you so!

“Well I care for you baby Loui.”, oh that’s just great! Simply amazing!

Ecin was now standing in front of the crib. Just as always. Or as the last few days to be more exact.

“And because I care so much for you I have exciting news! I decided that we’ll do five to two!”

What was that supposed to mean now?

“God, you are so stupid!… ah.”, Ecin seemed to mentally slap herself onto her fingers while pulling a grimace. Then she cleared her throat.

“Five days kindergarten, two days off. Isn’t that exciting?! Daddy convinced me to do it!”, oh god. Oh god you mother fucker! Lou was stunned.

Ecin looked pissed but he couldn’t care less! Did him acting like a literal child actually just give him two days off of being zapped? For a split second he actually wanted to kiss Len. Just that split second though, and afterwards he felt the never-quite-disappearing urge to wash his mouth.

•••

Sabrina really had to make time in her schedule for Len soon.

Like a s a p. If you know what she means. As soon as possible of course!

This had been the second time in three days that Len had come to her and cried about how much their baby was ‘hurting’ or something. Just that this time had been a lot worse and it made Ecin smile.

Why?

Because her little Loui was moving along in her little play as a true textbook example.

The last one had started out quite the same. Not that much obvious resistance because they had maneuvered themselves into that position. Silent rebellion, that’s what Sabrina will call that stage in the manual she’ll have to write for when her research hits the public market.

Maybe she’ll add it as the second stage? Because, well, if you just get them without consent or contract, even if contracts shouldn’t be too difficult here, they’ll surely lash out more. Maybe even physically? Good lord.

A laugh bubbles out of her throat.

Hahhhh, if only her last lap rat wasn’t such a pain in the ass. It’s only a stupid subject that died! Not his whole fucking family or something! Ah wait, he doesn’t have a family. He has Sabrina as creator though… okay, reiterate the sentence.

It’s not like Sabrina died.

Ahhh so much better now.

And Loui is following perfectly along the last! Sabrina knows every step he’ll take next! He’s so funny! He’s always been quite entertaining but yes he’s comedy gold right now!

Playing the baby to get what he wants will eventually lead to him actually being a baby. Simple as that.

This will be easy.

•••

Chapter Text

It’s been like two weeks.

And now it’s official.

Len really thought Lou had adapted to his role perfectly.

Lou could only grin to himself at that fact.

How’d he know?

Well, it was obvious!

Also he was a damn good actor! Lou was just amazing to cut it short!

“My baby is so giggly today, isn’t he?”, Len was beaming down at him, bottle in hand while sitting in the rocking chair.

Lou, who had in the last few days regained so kind of control of his upper body, tried to nuzzle ‘cutely’ into the other.

After all, Len had managed to get Lou out of the torture chamber for two whole days, fought with Sabrina about the drugs that completely immobilized Lou and saved him more than once from a spanking or two. All of that in two weeks.

The guy deserved some illusion of the perfect baby.

Also, if Lou plays it right he might just gain back control of his whole body! Maybe even convince Len that this all could finally stop and they had enough data?

Because, well, even if the memory of Lou’s work was becoming hazier by the day and starting to drift apart, he still yearned for it.

Of course the life as adult sized baby was relatively easy compared to before…

No stress.
No worrying about eating or sleeping.
No one screaming at him.
Generally no responsibility.

…

Where was he?

…

Oh right.

Work.

Lou’s lips got parted by the rubber part of the bottle. He turned his head as soon as the first drop landed on his tongue.

God fucking damn it! Len had promised to not put drugs into that shit again!

“Aww baby, you need to eat. Come on, I promise you it’s yummy!”

Oh please.

Lou stopped himself just in time before he rolled his eyes on reflex.

Sure, he had gotten quite used to the taste. However, the medical taste from this bottle was unusual. Way over the last few bottles.

“Yuck.”, he forced out. Careful not to change the y with a f. Remember, perfect baby for him.

The only thing keeping him safe from Sab- when did he start calling her by first name?

Weird.

Weird weird weird.

Lou shook his head.

Continue.

Just continue.

It’s not like anyone could read his thoughts.

No one would know he had just done … that.

Okay.

Calm.

Breathe.

The only thing keeping him safe from Ecin. Len was his literal safe space right now, if Lou wanted or not.

“Baby, I know. I’m so sorry but we talked about this. If you can’t handle this without the additions we’ll have to bring them back. Daddy is sorry.”

Handle what?

What the shit was he talking about?!

Lou could only remember the talking going something like: well, the drugs help you behave like a baby your age. But if you promise you can do that without we don’t need them.

Period.

Lou had been a fucking amazing baby okay?! Why bring them back?! Are you fucking joking you artificial freak?!

Okay, breathe. At least Len is open to conversations about this.

… as long as Lou holds the conversation like some infant.

Anyways.

So he swallowed his pride once more, just like the last few weeks, took a deep breath and opened his mouth again to ask.

“Why? Bad?”, blinking big puppy dog eyes up towards Len.

God, maybe Lou should have went to Hollywood with his acting skills.

•••

Len was the happiest daddy on earth!

Obviously!

He had the cutest baby on earth!

But also one that just kept on worrying him! Especially right now.

Because Len had had to break a promise he had made. The hurt expression on his baby boys face just made his chest go tight. He almost got weak.

He almost just said, ‘oh I got the wrong bottle, daddy will be right back.’

But he couldn’t do that.

Even if it broke his heart. It made him nauseous to see his baby like this. Hurting.

His poor hurting baby.

But this had to be done.

They had had a pretty clear talk about this. If his baby can’t behave and listen to his body without his special bottles, the special bottles have to come back.

But his baby made it so so hard for Len.

His perfect blue ocean eyes twitching in betrayal with his little adorable teeth biting his lips while probably fighting back tears.

Len had to take a deep breath to remind himself of why he’s doing this.

If he got weak now it would only hurt Louis in the long run.

So he had to stay strong!

He had to!

But then.

“Why? Bad?”

The words came out of his baby’s mouth and it felt as if Len had gotten slapped across his face.

“No! Baby you aren’t bad! Never!”

His poor little one.

He had gone through so much…

Len always had to remind himself that Louis was just too little to understand some things. Like this one.

The baby just didn’t understand that Len only wanted to help him.

Louis only saw the discomfort it brought himself and, like babies do, was asking himself why his daddy would do something gruel like this to him.

Len bit back tears.

He had to be strong for his baby!

And maybe he should explain it in a way the baby could understand it better?

That would probably help.

“Louis, remember the talk we had about your special bottles?”, the little one nodded slowly.

“Well, we talked about you being able to listen to your own body without them. But to me it seems like you are way too little to listen to your own body.”

“No!”

His poor baby. He was in denial.

“Yes. Baby, daddy has noticed that in the last few days you haven’t went number two in your diapers.”

His baby’s eyes grew wide.

He probably hasn’t even noticed. Poor thing. Wanted to be all big but was actually just the smallest little baby. So adorable.

“No!”, Louis whined.

“Yes. Baby it isn’t healthy to hold it in like this. That’s why it looks like you still need your special bottle. Once you can go on your own we’ll try again okay?.”

His baby didn’t answer anymore, just hid his face and hugged the little foxy plushy tighter.

His poor poor baby.

Len pushed his hands through the baby’s hair to calm him down and reassure him.

Louis was probably beating himself up for not being able to go like a big boy without help.

He was just a tiny one though.

“It’s okay! We’ll try again some time later yes? Daddy is confident you’ll be able to do it then! But now we have to cleanse you okay? Your poor tummy must hurt.”

•••

Lou couldn’t believe what he had just heard.

No.

No.

Absolutely fucking not!

That bastard!

So that was what he was talking about!

No!

Fuck.

So they had put laxatives into his bottles?! Fucking hell?!

Lou tried to reason with himself to stay calm. But it was really hard. Really hard.

Especially when the fucking guard pressed the bottle back into Lou’s mouth.

He tried to turn his head again but Len just followed with the bottle.

Lou couldn’t even throw hands because his arms were still too weak. Still, he tried to push against it.

No way in hell he’d-

About two hours later Lou was laying absolutely traumatized in his crib.

He actually just-

He

He

He had went-

He had went ‘number two’, as the traitor of a guard had put it.

Shit.

Lou tried to not think about how disgusting it had felt. How happy the guard had looked. How the hand of that bastard had touched his privates again. Just like this. As if it was the most normal thing in the world.

Lou tried to redirect his thoughts but they always just returned to that one thing.

The again, Len had been right… thinking about it, Lou’s stomach really had hurt.

No no no.

Lou sighed.

Then again, the scientist inside of him was wondering, how.

He had been on a liquid diet for well over two weeks now!

What the fuck, how?!

How was it so-

No.

No.

Don’t think about it.

He hugged his little Lily as tight as he could.

What?! Don’t judge him!

It’s been a hard day…

And it hadn’t even been time for kindergarten yet.

Lou’s stomach twisted into knots.

The last few times had gotten more ‘extreme’ to say the least. As if Ecin was trying to make up for the two lost days, so she just overcompensated.

It more than once got the point of Lou passing out (with we’re his favorite moments, not even gonna lie.”) or him biting his tongue or lip so hard that he was bleeding.

The last few times had gotten fuzzier and fuzzier.

He was desperate for those two days off.

But sadly those had just passed which meant that today would be extra hard probably.

Eventually Lou must have fallen asleep in his crib because he didn’t open his eyes to the second feeding round but to Ecin’s face right over his.

And a fucking heart attack of course. But those two were the same.

“Hey baby Loui.”; she singsonged.

Lou rolled his eyes. This time for real.

Ecin clicked her tongue.

“Someone’s cranky. Well”, she gave a way too happy smile “maybe the full diaper has got your tongue, I don’t know.”, she laughed.

Lou’s face got hot.

“Now, don’t be shy! That’s a totally normal body function! Silly baby.”

Lou really wasn’t in the mood for this. Absolutely not.

So he just turned his face.

Because even though he wasn’t in the mood for this, he also wasn’t in the mood for a spanking. One embarrassment a day is e-fucking-nough, thank you.

“Awww the baby is pouting! You are so adorable! I should have chosen you as my baby from the start! But I just didn’t want to risk it!”

“What?! Oh please.”, Lou bit out before he could think of the consequences.

“Oh but yes. Just think about it! You’ve basically been my baby from the day I found you first! But I really didn’t want to let you go to waste. I wanted to enjoy this. So it all was just perfect. All just like I planned.”

“Oh please. You just don’t want to admit you made a fucking huge mistake!”

“What?!”, her voice lowered dangerously.
“Two strikes.”

“See? You are evading the topic! Because you didn’t think about the possibility of a subject actually jumping out of a fucking window!”, Lou couldn’t stop himself. He was tired, humiliated and so so done. He just wanted to make Ecin feel the same way. He just wanted her to finally confess that she wasn’t perfect. She made a mistake!

She always pretended as if everything planned. But it rarely was! Wasn’t it? She was just pretentious and Lou finally had had enough.

Enough humiliation.

Enough of her.

After all those years, these two weeks had been enough.

“Four strikes.”, her demeanor was cold but suddenly she moved closer. Her face almost pressed into Lou’s cheek as her eyes seemed to gain a sparkle.

The fucked, crazy kind.

“Lou Lou. You really have the mind of a little baby mh? So innocent. It’s okay, I’ll spell it out for you. This window is your only way out. I’m legally not allowed to keep people hostage sadly, but with this.”, she pointed at it, “with this you’ll always have a choice. You can always just go. You can always leave. I also told the last one that.”

“You-“, Lou interrupted himself to swallow down bile that wanted to rise up.

Was he shaking? Maybe. He got too worked up just now.

“Now don’t say that! I’m not crazy honey. I’m a genius! You know that. You know that very well, don’t you?”

“Then- then why were you angry that day? Why were you-“

“Oh don’t even mention it! God! It’s still kind of sad when a baby wants to leave me.”, her gloved finger ghosted over Lou’s cheek.

“But okay. It wasn’t particularly about that stupid brat of an adult child. I got all the data I needed from them. It was because of my lap rat and, well, you.”, she flashed her teeth into an almost feral smile. Lou could see her pink gums.

Her face still way too close to Lou’s.

Yeah. Right.

She didn’t like stuff out of her control. So Lou really couldn’t blame the last test subject anymore. He walked into this himself with open arms.

Fuck!

“I didn’t expect my rat to become so hysterical afterwards. He wasn’t like this the first three times. But oh well, guess it was just time for him to retire. Pity. Do you know how frustrating that is?! All the hours and knowledge I put into my baby. My lap rat.”

“No. Can’t possibly be as frustrating as being trapped as a baby in your own body.”, not the time for sarcasm. Lou wanted to slap himself. But this was about his own honor! Or what ever was left of it…

He was so tired.

Lou felt sick to his stomach.

Dread was pouring into his lungs, making it hard to breathe.

Today just wasn’t his day.

“Five. Baby you better be more careful okay? 25 hits are going to leave a little trauma on your tender skin. Anyways. You don’t get to complain. I’d like to remind you that you gave up on the world long ago, didn’t you? You tried to set yourself free and had two options: either live for yourself and die for yourself, or: live for your creator and die ‘to’ yourself.
You chose the first and failed miserably. Then you chose the later and me as your creator. You are my baby. Why won’t you see that? You only live for me now. Or, as I said”, she pointed back at the window “you can go for yourself.”

Fuck.

Why was she always using that?!

Every time.

Every time because she knew she was right and it hurt.

If Lou could move his arms he’d press them onto his ears. But he couldn’t. He just had to lay there and take it. Blink away the blur that tried to take over his vision and pretended it wasn’t there.

Failing.

She was enjoying this.

Of course she was.

She always enjoyed it when Lou was suffering.

But till now Lou hadn’t cared about it. He’s ignored it. But he only just now realized the gravity of it. Fuck. Shit.

He’s always just been a past time activity for her. But he had clung to her like a lifeline. Because-

Lou tried to roll his eyes to the back of his head to stop the tears but it was fruitless.

He had been stupid. Cocky and unaware of his own actions.

He had chosen her as ‘creator’?! Laughable. Some fucked shit was that.

Bullshit.

He hadn’t.

No way.

Why would he even choose her? Why not his own mother? She is… was… had been…

Or what about…

God he was making a fool of himself.

There was no one else.

“Ah you finally shut up. Oh wups, sorry. Gotta keep it pg! Isn’t that so my little baby? Yes it is. Yes it is.”, she cooed at him while wiggling her finger in front of his face.

Lou closed his eyes.

He never should have asked about the window. He never should have asked anything.

Ever should have used his voice in the first place.

This was his own fault.

“Okay baby, let’s see mh… we wasted so much time.”, she sighed.

“Okay! Let’s just speed run kindergarten, as the cool kids say nowadays! It’ll be fun, I promise! I got a little something new for you! Then after, you’ll get your 25 hits and- Oup! 25 hits. That sounds so harsh… gosh… afterwards you’ll get your 25 smacks? Yeah. Yeah that’s better. Oh and since you’ve asked some very stupid stuff you’ll get your paci now. Also to calm you down! I know crying babies need their paci!”

Lou was done reacting to this. So done. He couldn’t. He just couldn’t anymore.

He could only endure it all until finally Len would come and make it all better.

…make it all better?

Maybe Lou’s brain was just too tired for this all.

He barely registered the first twenty minutes of ‘kindergarten’.

He barely remembers anything of the electroshocks.

He actually can’t remember getting from the special kindergarten room to his own room or getting his punishment of 25 hits.

But he does register when he’s held in strong arms. It’s almost as if he had just spawned there. Someone just flipped the light switch back on and ups there he was again.

The last few times kindergarten hat grown fuzzy for him. His memory at least.

Maybe his brain just blocking it but Lou didn’t care. Not right now. He was scared he’d actually remember everything if he thought too hard right now. And that prospect just seemed like too much. At least in this moment.

Right now when someone was shushing him and swaying him and telling him that everything will be fine.

Right now when he could nuzzle his face into a soft sweater and have someone cooe at him how cute he was.

Right now when the rubber from his lips got removed for the tit of a bottle and he was sung to once more.

•••

Sabrina almost just blew her cover there.

Wups.

Her bad.

She giggled.

Maybe she had been a bit too harsh a bit too fast but oh well.

It just just had to be.

Her baby just needed a little nudge into the right direction, as always.

What was real, what was fake?

Not even Sabrina knew what she actually had thought.

But it was all right the way it was.

She was a genius that magically did everything right.

Her cause was just there.

Always just there.

Because she was a genius.

“Len don’t cry. He’s fine. In fact, he’s your perfect little baby even more now!”, she continued to giggle happily.

Her little Loui was absolutely perfect.

His expressions gave her some form of life back.

More so, they finally made her feel truly alive.

Her colleague had always just been funny.

Even when he had gotten promoted to be on the same position as Sabrina, he still was just her little baby.

She should have thought of him earlier.

That made her mad.

How hadn’t she thought of him already three years ago?!

•••

Chapter Text

(
“Seriously, Louis you aren’t six anymore. Act your age!”, Louis’ mother sighed. He shrunk into himself.

“I am!”

“No you aren’t! You are sixteen! You know, I heard the neighbor kid got his drivers license a month ago! And you are slacking around! Also your grades in school are dropping! If you are going to stay in your room all day at least get something to show for it.”

“I’m still average.”, he mumbled as his only answer. He didn’t get straight A’s anymore like when he was younger but he still got mostly B’s!

“Average won’t get you a good paying job! Did you ever think about that?! What kind of doctor do you think got where they are with average?!”

Louis was silent.

“How will you survive out there once you move out in two years?!”

“I don’t really want to move out with 18.”

“Bullshit! Everyone does! You don’t want to stand on your own two feet?! Do you think we’ll let you live here for free?!”

“No, I-“

“I don’t want to hear it! I really don’t know where I went wrong with you! You are an adult now! Act like it!”
)

When Lou woke up the next time after the horrible day, something was weird.

Something just wasn’t quite right and it took him a bit too long to figure out that the established routine seemed to have been broken.

He was supposed to get a bath today.

Len bathed him every other day. It’s been like this the whole time but today it didn’t happen.

Not that Lou was complaining! He was actually really relieved. But it did have him a bit confused.

Maybe they wanted to finally give him at least some peace after the disaster that was yesterday?

Lou was hopeful.

If that was true and they didn’t just postpone the bath to an hour later or so that meant something. Something huge.

If he played that right (whatever it was) then he could avoid way more things as well!

Thoughtfully he pressed Lily closer towards his chest. Because of the drugs and lack of movement his arms were weak and everything he tried to do with them resembled the uncoordinated grabbing of a new born. Still, he made do.

Something else that was weird was that his brain was weirdly clear. As if he’d just had the best sleep of his life.

Weird.

Just weird.

Lou pondered.

He was so deep in thought he barely even registered when Sabrina was hovering over him, beaming happily.

“Hello there my sweet baby!”

And suddenly Lou’s body gave a whole-body flinch he himself didn’t even see coming.

What the fuck was that?!

That bitch!

Could she not jump scare the shit out of him at least once?!

Fucking hell!

At his reaction the doctor seemed pretty let down but she hid it quickly behind an even more penetrant smile.

“There there. Don’t you worry, I’m not here for our kindergarten right now baby. I’m here to give you your reward for being so so good.”

She held a blanket up. Pastel blue but Lou couldn’t make out anything else about it because the next second it was thrown onto his face.

“Oh no. My bad.”

Sa- the bitch giggled before pulling it down again. Then she arranged Lou’s hand in a way that looked as if he was grabbing onto it but he was quick to destroy that picture.

“Naww you lost your paci? Did you lose your paci? Poor Loui.”, she fake pouted.

To Lou’s horror she grabbed next to his head and wouldn’t you know it, there really had been a slimy, disgusting pacifier.

Oh god.

“You want it back?”, she pushed it into Lou’s face but he turned as far away as him possible.

Since when was that thing in here?!

“Well guess not then. Your loss.”

With that she left.

How dare she?!

Great just great. Now Lou was confused and too hot. He shuffled a little to try to get the blanket off of his body. To no avail might he add.

Then he tried to shove at it with his weak noodle arms and that did work better.

Felt like a whole-ass muscle workout in the gym though.

After that tremendous act he was left sweating and shaking in his oversized crib. Stupid muscles.

It will probably take ages to feel normal again. Although Lou didn’t really know how much of the drug they were still giving him.

Maybe it was just a smaller amount?

Maybe when the drug was out of his system he’d be able to move just fine.

Although, then they’d need to completely cut it sooner rather than later.

Two weeks already posed a bit of a problem towards his already non existing muscles but who knew how long Ecin planned to keep this going. How long would he have to play house with her?!

Only two weeks was, or rather had been an unrealistic hope. Maybe two months? Longer?

Or maybe he should start boring her so much that she just drops him?

How would he even do that? Even when he doesn’t do shit she seems as erratic as always. Nothing seems to lessen her interest.

Lou sighed, giving the blanket one last push and turned to face Lily.

Lily had it easy. Just being there. Getting cuddled. Nothing else.

No humiliation.

No ‘kindergarten’.

No nothing.

A weird feeling in Lou’s stomach started to well up. He feld sick.

He can’t do this much longer.

But a small voice in the back of his head started berating him.

He had signed the contract.

He had agreed to this.

He had maneuvered himself into this.

It’s not like Ecin kidnapped him or something.

What would that say about him if he started to plead to get out? If he started begging?

Sickening.

He won’t ever do that.

And he won’t take that ‘other’ way out. Firstly because Ecin had suggested it.
Secondly… well, he couldn’t really move. How was he supposed to climb out of this crib and then make it to the window?!

Sabrina sure had some funny jokes.

Ha.

Ha.

Ha.

“Hi there baby.”, Len’s soft voice brought Lou back to the present.

How do they always manage to just sneak in?! At least fucking knock!

At Lou’s glare the black haired carer seemed to deflate significantly. As if he had expected something entirely else. Weird fucking weirdo.

But Lou swallowed those thoughts back down.

He had made so much progress with Len! He couldn’t just ruin that now.

“Oh! Did Mommy bring you your achievement reward? Isn’t this such a nice blankie? You like it Louis?“, Len leaned down to lift Lou up. But differently from usual he lifted not only Lou up but actually took the blankie as well.

Blanket. Not blankie.

What the fuck.

Lou feels like he’s about to puke.

Sickening that baby talk.

“It’s so soft mh. So fuzzy for my little baby.”, he hummed and sat down in the rocking chair together with Lou, of course.

Lou really had no interest in the bottle. Especially today. Just thinking about another day of just this liquid diet had his stomach rumbling uncomfortably.

So he turned away from it.

Len only laughed.

Stupid happy go lucky….

Lou thought hard about a fitting insult.

Stupid happy go lucky… thing. He settled on. Yeah, seemed about right. Not as harsh as he’d have wanted it but it’s not like anyone except for him could hear it anyways.

Len carefully but still determinedly angled Lou’s head differently.

Just you wait until Lou had control of his own body back!

And then he just pressed the nipple past Lou’s lips as if it was nothing.

Just as always.

Just that this time there was a suffocatingly warm blanket over Lou that had him sweating like shit.

Even Len’s stupid humming doesn’t help there! Just take it off! It’s too hot to drink this shit and just take it off now!

Lou squirmed around as much as he could.

“No no. Be a good little boy for daddy okay?”, Len shushed him.

Fucking hell.

Defeated and with literally no energy left Lou let himself fall back.

Just take it and wait it out.

Take it and wait it out.

He continued to suckle until the bottle was empty.

“Good job!”

Lou’s hair got ruffled.

Great, now just the stupid walking around and patting and then he’d have at least an hour alone in the crib!

Lou could do that.

He could do that.

Until…

Len was walking around patting and patting on Lou’s back and Lou’s stomach signaled some discomfort.

It’s too hot.

The ‘milk’ felt as if it was sloshing around and a weird kind of pressure was there. Suddenly a wave of nausea took even Lou by surprise.

Fuck.

…

Fuck fuck fuck.

Did… did he really just throw up on Len’s shoulder?!

Both froze instantly.

Lou felt his cheeks becoming hot and he let out an involuntary sound that seemed to rip Len back into reality.

“Oh no, Baby it’s okay. It’s okay! It’s fine! Did you feel sick baby mh? It’s okay. It’s just a bit of milk throw up. It’s fine!”

Len shifted Lou towards his clean shoulder and Lou buried his face there.

That was so fucking embarrassing.

Shit.

He really just threw up onto Len’s shoulder.

At least this had something positive.

Now Lou felt completely fine. If a bit disgusted and humiliated by himself. But he didn’t feel sick anymore. Not even a hint of nausea anymore.

Len carefully placed Lou back into the crib.

It had two good thing, Lou noticed now.

Not only had he thrown up onto Len’s shoulder but also onto the blanket.

Mh.

Not even half bad.

“Are you fine now baby?”

Lou gave a tiny little nod and Len let out a sigh of relieve.

“That’s great! Okay. I’m sorry baby but daddy has to take the blanket with him for a little while now. But I promise you, daddy will treat it very well! Don’t you worry your little head! Bye bye.”, he waved and gone he was.

Pfew.

Well that had been disgusting.

Later on Sabrina obviously taunted him for it and then he got into kindergarten.

Then he forgot like most of it and then it was morning again. To be fair, he doesn’t really forget most of it. He forces himself to forget at least the last half of his time with Sabrina and the rest is just a bit fizzy. As if he’s watching an old cassett recording from a cloud. Fuzzy, fizzy, whatever.

Regardless, he got a bath. Wow.

That’s how the days continued on and on. Swimming together guided by routine.

Sometimes it felt like he skipped a few hours or days. At those times, both, Len and Sabrina seemed somehow even more cheerful and scarily lenient. But it was mostly similar.

Then again Lou really had to figure out how, or better, what he had to do for those two to get so lenient.

The only difference was that Len now always wore a god damn burp cloth when he wanted to ‘burp’ Lou.

Oh and well, today something else changed as well.

Lou, perplexed, looked from Sabrina to Len and back. Then down onto the tray before himself.

When Len had first tried to place Lou into that weirdly structured chair, Lou had fought like he had never fought before.

Getting sat down into a chair never meant something good here after all.

Then he was slightly strapped in so he could sit upright.

Strapped.

Again, never good here.

Who could blame Lou for being careful here?!

But it turned out to be a… high chair? Of sorts? Kinda?

Well and now Lou was greeted with the view of probably, hopefully, real rice pudding.

He couldn’t believe it.

Was that really real food?!

Well, not real real in the sense of a full warm meal or something but still, real.

He blinked and both of the caregivers laughed.

But was it real? Like, was that food or was that drugs with a little bit of real food or was that an illusion or-

Lou’s thoughts were cut short when Ecin shoved a spoon full of the ‘rice pudding’ into his mouth without warning.

Oh Jesus fucking Christ it was real food.

After he had swallowed, Lou instantly opened his mouth for more.

“There there. Such a greedy little thing.”, Sabrina scoffed but put another spoon full into Lou’s mouth.

Heaven.

This is what heaven tastes and feels like.

Lou almost moaned.

Never again would he not appreciate food!

Never again would he see food as a nuisance!

He tried to get his noodle arms to respond to his own wishes and grabbed clumsily at the spoon in Sabrina’s hand.

He could feed himself! He could! And he’d be way faster!

“No no. You’ll only get it everywhere! Stupi-“, Sabrina cut herself off, cleared her throat while side glancing at Len and continued “Baby. Also you’ll only get a stomach ache if you eat too fast!”

“No!”

How dare she present him with the best meal he ever had had and then just not let him eat it?!

“Don’t talk to me like that!”, she spat before returning to her ever sweet, honey dripping voice.

“One strike. And you have been so good till now.”, she sighed, gesturing wildly as if she had the intention of throwing the spoon away.

“No.”, this time Len spoke and both Lou and Sabrina halted.

“What?”, Sabrina looked at him with wide eyes as if to say ‘let’s talk about this outside.’ but Len shook his head.

“I know these rules are important for our little baby but look! He’s just so excited! Aren’t you Loui?”, he lowered himself down to Lou’s level and wiggled his finger in front of Lou’s face.

Finally!

Lou knew his efforts were paying off!!!

“Yes!”, he agreed, grabbing for the spoon again.

“Ah Ah Ah!”, Sabrina put some distance between them.

She glared at them but in the end returned to feeding Lou. Even if she looked reluctant.

Somewhere halfway through the bowl the food supply stopped again and Lou gave a not so adult like grumble. But he didn’t care! Food! Eat! Fast! Now! That was all he had in his head right now.

Which was why it took him a bit too long to realize that Len had grabbed Sabrina’s hand and both of them were having a mildly whispered argument.

“Hello?!”, Lou snapped at them. How dare they?! How fucking dare they?!

“Sorry baby! There we go!”, and with that Len ripped the spoon out of Sabrina’s hand and finally continued feeding Lou.

Thank god. Took them long enough.

The fact that Sabrina afterwards marched out of the testing room grumbling some shit was only half recognized by Lou.

Lou woke up the next day to a mobile dangling over him. Reward, he thought. Stupid thing.

He also quickly realized that this would become a frequent occurrence from then on.

The feedings he means.

Literally feedings. Lou had no other word for whatever this was.

As if Sabrina and Len were tourists in a zoo and fighting about who’d get to feed the sheep in the petting zone.

Or rather, Len was fighting. Sabrina didn’t seem to really care. Quite honestly, this turned into an actually very entertaining theatrical piece.

At first those feedings were every other day. Then one of his bottles got replaced entirely by rice pudding. Eventually he even got porridge every second day! The first day of porridge had been a field day for Lou! He even tolerated the stupid blanket that was back again! Because, well, porridge!

Actually something to chew! Actual substance!

Eventually Sabrina stopped attending the feedings entirely and honestly, Len seemed happier than ever about that. Weird Len.

…

Actually that had Lou thinking.

Something really still was weird here.

How come Len didn’t just seem to follow Sabrina? Wasn’t he supposed to-

“Hi there Loui! Are you cuddling your foxy? You are so cute baby!“

How?! How did he get here?!

Speaking of the devil for christs sake.

Also since when had he been cuddling her? Oh whatever. At least Lily understood him!

Chapter Text

•••

(
“How was that? Having your own baby?”

“She’s adorable!”, number 6 squeaked. Their eyes sparkling. “She’s still got a long way to go but every time I look into her eyes I-“, they broke up but number 7 didn’t need to hear more. Their enthusiasm reaching into the very depths of his skull.

“I mean, it’s only just her first few days so she wasn’t very lucid but when I tell you she’s perfect! She’s so small! Look!”, number 6 widened his arms to show just how small their very first baby was.

“You’ll be an amazing caregiver.”, number 7 rasped. His older sibling beamed at that.

“I’m sure! I was made for this!”

At this point number 7 hadn’t really known a lot. He hadn’t even seen the blue sky yet, or even just a speck of dust for that matter. But there was something he newly experienced that day.

A feeling drilling itself into the pits of his stomach, making him only slightly nauseous and causing him to feel as if he should ball his fists behind his back. He bit down hard onto his own teeth. Heat rushing over his whole body.

“What about you Seven?! Did you like your job?”

Number 7 nodded hesitantly. He didn’t know if he liked it, but his job did seem easier compared to his other siblings.

“What did you do? Tell me!”

Number 7 hesitated.

“Not much. Sabrina gave me some things to hold and stuff.”

“Oh.”

Both fell silent.

“I think it was metal.”

“Well you are really strong! Like a lion!”, number 6 laughed.

“Ah, Sabrina said that as well!”

“See? That’s so cool!”

Suddenly number 7 remembered something. Something he hadn’t really understood till now so he had decided to just forget about it. But now it was kinda bugging him.

“Hey, six? What is a name?”

Number 6 looked at him with kind eyes and ruffled his hair with their hand.

“It’s just a noise you address people with. Oh oh! For example, the name of my baby is Jasmin! Isn’t that so cute?? I love her name! And to her, my name is daddy!”

“Oh, that is cute?”, number 7 wasn’t quite sure how to take this.

“Or Sabrina’s name is Sabrina! Just to name a few. Why are you asking?”

“Because Sabrina told me my ‘name’ is Len.”

“Oh… well, that’s amazing…sorry, I’m so jealous!”

“Jealous?”
)

Groaning Len lifted his head up. His neck stiff and he started stretching a little.

It took him a little to figure out where he was.

But he wasn’t surprised to find himself in the nursery on the rocking chair.

Did he fall asleep? Probably.

He silently stalked over to the crib with his perfect little baby boy inside. He was so cute like this. Eyes closed, lips hanging open slightly. His hands tightly holding his little foxy. So tightly. As if someone was going to snatch it away any second now.

Len grabbed the pacifier from the shelf and leaned against the crib.

Gently he pushed it past his baby’s lip and was pleased to see that the boy took it.

His perfect Louis.

Len just couldn’t take his eyes off of him.

Did his sibling feel like this as well? They had to! Although, they never got the opportunity to meet Louis.

Their loss.

Len smiled to himself as he let his hand ghost over his baby’s cheek.

The conditioning has been going really well. But in or out of the little headspace, Len loved his little boy dearly.

He should never be hurting.

Ever.

•••

“God damn you are crazy.”

Lou heard the tired sigh of Sabrina in the room. And Len had deserved that sentence. Really.

Lou could only huff.

“What? I’m not!”

Again Lou let out a huff.

He shouldn’t laugh.

Not yet.

But it was just too good.

Lou bit the inside of his mouth hard to stop the upcoming laughter from bubbling to the surface.

“Okay so let me rework this. You claim that this- I mean Louis”, she pointed at Lou inside of his crib “called you daddy?”

“Yes!”

Don’t laugh don’t laugh don’t laugh.

“Louis? Did you?”

It was rare for Sabrina to directly address Lou with a real question. It was even rarer for her to sound so unsure and oh god this was just too good.

Taking a deep breath Lou shook his head ‘no’.

Len’s mouth falls slightly open but he regains his composure rather quickly.

“I swear he did! Didn’t you hear?!”

“God, I’m not listening into the room here twenty four seven! What do you expect me to do?!”

They both fell silent but somehow Lou just knew their bickering was going to continue outside of this room.

What?

Lou had been bored and well, this all just went way too perfect.

After the last bickering they had over Lou’s food it’s been a while. It almost seemed as if they purposefully didn’t have discussions in front of Lou anymore. Well, as far as possible at least.

And now Lou tried to change this.

He had since quite a while now. Since early on actually.

After some time he had gotten bored of it. After they started playing a little play called ‘everything is sunshine and rainbows when we are together.’.

But recently there had been more tension between them. Since Lou doesn’t really have anything to do here and those two are the only people he ever is in contact with, it’s easy to pick up on stuff like this.

He just wonders what it’s really about?

But oh well, it doesn’t really matter as long as he’s getting fed and stuff. And as long as it gets him a show like this. Oh boy this was good.

He hid shortly behind Lily when a tiny little smile did creep up onto his lips. But he was quick to even that back out again.

This was a bit risky, he had to admit. He was sure they had a kind of baby monitor somewhere in the room here. He just hasn’t found it yet but he was absolutely confident! And he obviously knew that they had cameras in here. Sabrina had told him in the beginning after all to scare him.

But this little white lie, if caught by Sabrina, could get him a very abused ass. A very much hurting, red ass.

But god or the gods or the universe or whatever, it all was on his side it seems.

Lou did feel a little sorry for Len now, seeing his betrayed looking face but he’s ready to do anything for some good entertainment at this point.

How long has it been?

Thinking about it, Lou didn’t really know. Just that it felt like forever.

Apropos forever, it seemed like Lou had been thinking about this for a bit too long because he suddenly became painfully aware of the fact that Sabrina had left the room.

Shit.

Len was looking down at him with some real dark eyes and Lou shivered.

Suddenly his little harmless joke didn’t seem all too funny anymore.

Len slowly reached into the crib and Lou tried his best to squirm away. His mobility improved but his legs still as useless as ever.

Then Lou slowly got lifted out of the crib and Len made his way towards the rocking chair.

While Lou didn’t know a lot that was going on, one thing was for sure. It wasn’t time for a bottle right now.

Again, shit.

“Louis.”, Len started after he had situated them both. His voice eerily calm “It sounded as if you weren’t telling the truth. I am not mad, it happens, but can you please tell me why you lied?”

That reaction threw Lou a little off. Of course, he knew Lou wouldn’t hit him. He had avoided that from the very start but this still was a little… anticlimactic? Lou didn’t even know what he had expected but it wasn’t this.

So Lou just shrugged.

Len hummed a little, running one of his hands softly through Lou’s hair.

Again, weird reaction.

Admittedly, Lou couldn’t even imagine Len screaming or becoming physical. Still. He somehow had expected just that.

But Len remained calm, merely using a firm, assertive voice. Although that also seemed a bit chilling now that Lou thought about it.

The last time Len had used that voice had been… Lou thought hard about it. Len had used this kind of tone before but he couldn’t remember when. Just that it’s been a while.

“You are a very good boy Louis. I know that. And I think you also know what a good boy you can be. But what you did just now is called lying. It’s when someone asks us if we did something and we aren’t honest about it.”

Fucking hell, of course Lou knew!

Len readjusted Lou in his arms and continued “ I know you didn’t mean any harm. I just want to know why you felt the need to lie. Where you scared something bad would have happened if you had told Mommy the truth?”

Well would you look at that. A perfectly good excuse, served on a silver tablet at that.

Lou nodded weakly and made sure to quickly hide his face in Len’s shirt.

It would be best if Len didn’t see the victorious grin on Lou’s lips right now.

He just heard the caregiver hum in understanding and the arms around him tightening slightly.

“I see. Thank you for telling me. Very good job little one. But please don’t do this again. Lying isn’t good, okay? Also, there is no need to be scared of mommy.”

Well, actually there is a very huge need to scared of ‘mommy’. But Lou only threw that point in mentally. Audibly he only sighed a little. Mostly in defeat.

“There there. Daddy is always here for you. Even if you lie. But he just wants you to know that lying is bad and will only cause harm. We don’t want to harm anyone, right?”, he gently swayed them both and Lou almost found himself agreeing on default.

Although only for a small second before his, as of lately more often disappearing, common sense set in again.

Something about the way Len talked made Lou feel incredibly and illogically safe.

As if he was just being silly for having his guard up high like this.

He wasn’t just silly for it though.

He knew that.

In a way.

Mostly.

He sighed again as his brain decided to give him some nice and confusing mind games.

“Now that we are already sitting here, how about a little story baby? Would you like me telling you a little fairytale?”, Len suddenly cooed and Lou was grateful for the distraction.

Yeah, he’d take it ten times over overthinking this shit that was his situation.

“Okay. Which one would you like to hear? Or do you want daddy to pick?”

Lou just shrugged.

What did he care about which story he’s going to be told?

“Okay, it’s daddy’s pick then. Mhh let’s see. How about the princess and the pea?”

Sure, why not?

Lou only half listened. The story of a very entitled princess that got bruises just because of a pea that was like eight mattresses down.

Maybe it said something more or had a moral, or something but Lou found himself blinking heavily the longer the story went on.

It’s kind of amazing, he thought to himself, that Len knows these fairytales without a book to read from.

He just told them as if he had them memorized.

Weird Len.

With that thought Lou drifted into a dreamless little nap.

When he woke up again it wasn’t as nice as when he fell asleep.

To be more exact, the later half of his day started with five very hurtful hits on his bottom and he- wait bottom? Ass. On his ass. Just say it as is. Why bottom?

Anyways.

That kind of bad awakening gave Lou a little whiplash if you so will because it left him a little disoriented and a bit out of it.

But from what he could understand, Sabrina realized that he lied and then decided he had earned himself a strike.

He wanted Len back.

This wasn’t fair!

Len had told him it was alright, didn’t he?!

“Aww our little pouty baby.”, she now cooed over him.

“M not.”, Lou pouted.

“Yes you are.”, she dragged the sentence on and gave Lou a loving look.

Mm. Lou didn’t know she could do that.

No.

No!

She couldn’t!

This was just to humiliate him!

“Such a cute pouty baby in his cute pouty outfit!”, she lightly tapped his nose and Lou instinctively scrunched up his face.

While she had punished him he… well Lou had a little… accident. So while Sabrina had cursed and probably had had a shower and bathed in disinfectant, Len had bathed and changed Lou into a new, still baby pink outfit.

Sabrina apparently thought it was really cute.

Yeah.

Lou didn’t even know anymore.

He wasn’t even as embarrassed about his accident as he probably should have been.

Maybe that had just been his natural punishment by the universe for being so cocky.

Lou suddenly felt weirdly numb about the whole situation.

Indifferent almost.

As if it all should be like this.

He cuddled Lily closer to his chest and then brought her up to his face to feel her soft fur on his cheek.

He absentmindedly kicked his leg out.

…

Wait.

He kicked his leg out?…

Something was-

WAIT

HE KICKED HIS LEG OUT!

At the realization he instantly froze. Did he really just-

He tried again.

It was a very weak movement but he could definitely kick!

He did it again and again and again. At this he let out a laugh of pure joy.

He could move his legs! He could kick!

He did it again while laughing.

He probably looked like an idiot right now but ohhhh this was such an adrenalin rush and dopamine rush and it just made this day to the best day in his whole life!

He heard laughing from Len and Sabrina over him but he didn’t care that they saw him like this.

He tuned them out, focusing on the amazing feeling of his legs.

Feeling in his legs!

Another kick, another and another.

He couldn’t stop! How could such a simple movement be so much entertainment?!

He laughed again but then, out of nowhere, someone placed a hand onto his legs, stopping his happy kicks.

He huffed out a tiny complaint together with an annoyed moan.

“I’m sorry baby. I know you are excited about this but we don’t want you overdoing it. You could hurt yourself, okay? “, it was daddy’s soft voice but Lou only gave an annoyed whine.

That was so mean!

He only just can do this again! And it’s fun! He doesn’t have a lot of things that are fun here! That’s unfair!

To empathize his point he kicked again, harder.

Len sighed deeply and Sabrina just shrugged.

“Oh then let him be. He’ll learn one way or another. Won’t you baby Loui? Yes you will, yes you will!”, she cooed.

“But-“, Len looked at Lou with his brows furrowed before he finally released Lou’s legs fully again.

Lou laughed victoriously.

Did Sabrina just help him?! Unbelievable!

Maybe she’s not so bad after all? Lou thought about it for a bit before returning to kicking again.

God he loved kicking!

Although, at the end of the day his legs felt so so heavy. But the good kind of heavy. The kind that meant he had used his muscles.

He never had been happier than at the end of this wild day!

He gave one last kick before deciding to leave it for today.

Chapter Text

It was that night, while Lou was between consciousness and unconsciousness, that something in his leg twitched.

Not exactly twitching in the sense of moving but it felt weird.

He groaned as he opened his eyes. There was only darkness.

Did it even make a difference if he had his eyes open or closed?

He shook his head and tried to stretch his body as best as possible.

That’s when he froze.

God damn.

He didn’t dare move further.

His right leg felt as if a nerve was just on the verge of getting twisted off.

As if his flesh had been pressed against a dull but thin edge and something was about to snap.

Lou swallowed heavily while carefully turning his head towards Lily but even that small movement seemed to trigger something.

So he froze up once more.

Shit.

Please don’t please don’t please don’t.

If there’s a god please.

He silently started praying.

He had had a bad cramp once in his life before.

It was on a trip back when he was still in school.

They had sat in a bus for over nine hours because of complications. Only had two breaks that lasted about half an hour each in which all student, himself included, were jumping around to get some movement in (very much to Lou’s displeasure but the teacher was very persistent about the whole movement thing).

That night he had the first ever truly bad cramp in his leg.

That was some of the worst fear he had ever had to that point in time.

And this right here was that exact feeling before it had started.

Suddenly he remembered it so clearly.

And suddenly deep dread pooled inside his stomach and lungs.

He took another deep breath.

It’ll be fine, he told himself.

Just stay still.

Very still.

Don’t move.

Don’t move.

Don’t even breathe.

The feeling didn’t go away though.

And eventually Lou had to breathe again.

Then it started.

A shock went through his whole body the moment a fierce pain started up in his lower leg.

He bit back a loud wail.

Fuck!

It hurt so bad.

Lou blinked away tears as he, as good as him possible, moved his hand down towards it.

It was rock solid.

Muscles he thought he didn’t even have were being pulled and pulled and hardened to a level that shouldn’t even be possible.

It was scary.

It was scary?

Lou let out a low whine.

Why did that feel so much worse than how he remembered it?!

It hurt.

It didn’t stop.

It was scary.

It was dark.

He was alone.

He has to wait it out, he knows that.

Rationally he knows that it’ll be over soon. It won’t take over ten minutes. Maybe it’ll only take bare seconds.

He knows that everything will be alright. That this only showed that his nerves and muscles were still there.

But the only thing he could think about in that moment was how much he wanted someone to hold him.

How dare those two leave him alone right now? How dare they?

Please.

The longer the muscle clenched the more clouds were pushing away his rational thoughts that were supposed to calm him down.

He suddenly wanted Len to tell him it’s alright.

The way he always did when Lou got too embarrassed or angry or anxious.

“Please.”, he silently mumbled to himself. It couldn’t have been louder than a whisper.

The next thing he knew was that there were strong arms all around him and he found a gentle hand wiping away tears he didn’t even know he had lost.

A warmth around his leg, wet and yet so soft, that eased it down and then he realized that it was over.

His leg had softened and all the tension left him at once. He took a shaky breath, still not quite okay.

His head swam as he grasped for the strong hand that threatened to leave him.

“Shh it’s okay baby. It’s okay. I’m just taking the towel away mh? You are okay.”, he was gently shushed.

He was not okay!

He grabbed even tighter at the arm, not even looking at the others face and daddy chuckled.

“Okay, there we go.”

A soft kiss was placed on top of Lou’s hair and Lou leaned into it. Because it felt good to not be alone.

It was as if he saw a totally different person in front of him. Or rather holding him. He let out a watery hiccup as he felt more tears well up.

Unfair.

That’s just unfair.

This was way too scary!

Mentally he was way too exhausted for something like this!

Unfair!

“Hey Hey, it’s okay Baby.”, Len began rocking Lou a little while humming.

Lou didn’t know why he was still crying either.

God he had gotten so weak.

Disgusting.

Why weren’t the tears stopping?!

Stop it!

But he could only continue to sob into the others sweater.

“My poor baby. That was so scary, wasn’t it?”, Lou bobbed his head up and down as good as possible through his deep, loud, gut wrenching sobs.

“I’m sorry daddy wasn’t here earlier. But it’s okay now. You’re okay. You can cry however long you want to baby. Daddy is here now. I’m here now.”

And Lou wept. His body trembling as the words sunk into his skull like a calming melody.

Somehow they made his heart clench.

It hurt.

His throat was locked by a big rock. Hard and ruff around the edges. It scratched at his tonsils and pushed nauseatingly at his uvula.

Eventually Lou quieted down. The rocking back and forth slowly but surely making him calmer and calmer. It made him realize just how sleepy he actually was. How exhausted.

Lou blinked heavily as another watery hiccup made his body tremble a little.

“Look who I got here for you. A certain mister foxy wants to get some cuddles.”, daddy gently held Lily up und close to Lou.

Silly.

“Lily.”, he croaked, weakly stretched out his arm to grab her.

“Oh, a mrs foxy! Silly daddy got it all mixed up, didn’t he?”

Lou nodded timidly. Why did he tell him her name?! Only Lou was supposed to know her name! That was because-…

Well…

Thinking about this made his head spin together with the splitting headache that was coming in.

Ah. That’s why he didn’t like crying. He remembered now.

Lily’s fur was soft and nice and the sensation of it slowed down his heartbeat in an almost home kind of way.

“There we go. You were so brave baby. Such a brave baby I have mh?”, Len kissed the crown of Lou’s head.

Lou on the other hand was currently fighting out a little war inside of his head.

A tiny part of him was ready to give a gooey smile at that. It was ready to nod eagerly and shift to rub Lily’s fur on his cheek.

A tiny part of him was telling him that he wanted to stay in these arms forever and that his mouth was empty. That he needed a distraction or the comfort of the pacifier.

Those thoughts were shocking to his rational side.

But they pushed to the forefront.

They were all dominating his active decisions right now.

It felt as if his rational side and his conscience were simply bystanders right now. As if all they could do was criticize and correct but not control.

Like the audience to a movie, screaming at the characters to not follow that person, or to not go inside of that sketchy house all alone. Maybe even that the actions didn’t make any sense.

It almost felt like he was drunk.

Yeah.

That actually was it. It felt as if he was drunk.

He blinked slowly when Len moved too suddenly.

Why was he moving? It had been so nice in the position they had been in.

Stupid Len.

Lou wasn’t amused by this right now.

And that unamusement soon turned towards an even uglier side when Len tried to place Lou back into his crib.

Nonono!

What if ‘that’ happens again?! What if it happens again but this time it doesn’t stop?!

That thought horrified Lou so much he let out a panicked yelp.

Len almost instantly straightened again and put some distance between them and the crib.

“It’s okay baby.”, he hummed, whipping Lou up and down “it’s okay. You don’t wanna go night night in your crib again baby?”

Lou nodded while pulling out his number one manipulation tactic. Puppy dog eyes.

“You wanna stay with daddy?”

“Stay wif-“, Lou broke the sentence off when it sunk in how weak his voice sounded. How pathetic.

But luckily it got the point across it seemed.

“Okay, daddy will stay with you baby. You want your paci and blankie?”

Well…maybe one of the two.

But god help him, Lou was way too tired to form a sentence over…anything right now. So he just nodded.

Maybe he’ll even survive the blanket? Who knows? Maybe it’s not that bad?

Nah don’t be too fast on your judgement, he reminded himself.

Len situated then back on the rocking chair. Lou got neatly wrapped into the blanket with paci and Lily and maybe just maybe the blanket wasn’t too warm for once.

It was nice to be wrapped up tightly after this.

Wrapped up in a blanket for the first time in what felt like years.

Only today.

This is only for today.

Those were the last thoughts Lou had in the cloud packed circus that was his head.

•••

A view that would make any mother proud.

A rat-

…

A guy with his sleeping baby in his arms. A perfect and peaceful little morning.

A perfect morning that was absolutely ruining everything Sabrina had prepared for today.

Fuck her life. Or maybe she will later on.

Who knows.

Quickly she snuck up on both of her absolute, totally, absolutely favorite boys.

Len had the fucking audacity to actually warn her to be quiet.

The brat isn’t even awake, there’s no fucking need for this shit!

She rolled her eyes.

But then she directed them towards the little Loui in front of her.

Baby.

A little morning huh.

So the games would have to wait a little while.

Oh oh oh!

But! But!

Suddenly Sabrina’s head was full and overfull and overflowing with ideas!

She may not be able to introduce ‘the’ games, buuut she’ll play with the baby a little!

Now was the perfect time!

The thing is so under stimulated, anything will excite it- him. Yeah.

She didn’t have the patience to entertain him the way they had done the last few days over days and weeks.

Maybe today was the day he’d stay in headspace for days!

Funny sentence.

Today the day for days.

Huh.

Maybe Loui will laugh over that?

Wouldn’t a little giggly boy be so cute?

Sabrina felt nauseous.

Chapter Text

Sabrina approached the sleeping baby with a mischievous glint in her eye.

Who’d be able to resist the urge to play a little prank on the thing?She reached out and tickled his nose, causing him to stir in his sleep.

Len shot her a warning look, but Sabrina just shrugged it off. The rat didn’t get to complain.

She continued to tickle Loui's nose, enjoying the discomfort she was causing him.

Then she closed her fingers to press his airways shut.

But instead of squirming or grabbing at her, he just looked uncomfortable and distressed. Pah.

Boring.

Sabrina's grin faded, but she didn't feel any remorse. Worth a shot.

This reaction was a true let down.

Len quickly but still comedically gently brushed her fingers off when the baby startet jabbing for air through the mouth.

"It's okay, baby, daddy's got you," he whispered, rocking Loui back and forth.

Sabrina watched with a cold detachment as Len comforted the baby.

That bitch was acting as if Sabrina had been wrong for this. Bullshit. She was simply playing a little.

She let out a little giggle of excitement.

She knew that she needed to leave though. Who knew how much time was left?!

She had to use this turn of events wisely after all.

Len looked up at her with a stern expression. "Sabrina, I think it's time for you to go," he said.

Sabrina nodded, feeling nothing but annoyance at being dismissed. This fucking bitch!

But well, that had been her plan anyways.

She left the room without a second glance, already preoccupied with planning her next move.

•••

Len watched as Sabrina left the room, a weird mix of anger and disappointment settling in his gut like hot fire. He knew that she had just done something that potentially endangered Louis, and he couldn't understand why she couldn't see that.

But he also didn’t understand his own feelings.

He held his boy closer, feeling the baby's small body relax in his arms.

Louis was still feeling the effects of the earlier incident, and he wanted to make sure that the baby felt safe and secure. Not worried about being able to breathe.

Len rocked his Loui back and forth, humming a soft tune to soothe him. He couldn't help but feel a sense of protectiveness towards the baby rush over him. Obviously, since that was his baby.

A dad knows that he should do anything to keep his baby safe.

Len could feel that thought vibrating in the back of his head like so often in the last days and weeks.

As he held the baby, he thought more about Sabrina.

She was Louis‘ mommy but Len also knew that she had a tendency to push boundaries. Still, he couldn't understand why she would do something like that to his already distressed baby.

The hot anger began to rise up higher. He needed to talk to her about it. This time he won’t be brushed off easily.

But he also knew that he needed to be careful.

He didn’t want to get reprogrammed.

These moments right now were too precious.

He also couldn't let her behavior continue unchecked.

He made a mental note to talk to her later, but for now, he just wanted to focus on taking care of Louis.

He looked down at the sleeping baby, feeling a sense of warmth spread through his chest.
He knew that he was crazy for the baby, but he just couldn't help it. He saw his Loui as his own child!

He closed his eyes and continued to rock Louis back and forth, peace washing over him to replace the previous anger.

He gently rubbed the baby's back, feeling the small rise and fall of his chest as he breathed. He knew that he needed to cherish these moments, as they were fleeting and precious.

Who knew how long it would last this time?

He looked around the room, taking in the soft colors and gentle lighting. Sabrina had worked hard to create a peaceful and calming environment for Lou.

He noticed the new, small achievement toy on the shelf.

Carefully he stood up, making sure not to jostle the baby too much.

Then he picked it up, holding it out to Louis after resituating the fox plush.

Louis stirred.

"Hey, little guy, wanna try playing with your new toy?" he asked, his voice as soft and gentle as him possible.

Louis stirred even more in his sleep, his eyes then fluttering open. He looked up at Len with a sleepy expression, and Len basically melted into a puddle at that.

He held the toy out to his little Loui, who reached out timidly and grabbed it with his tiny hands. Len watched as Louis explored the toy, his eyes wide with wonder.

He proudly watched the baby, almost, play. This was magical. These simple moments were what made this all worth it.

His little bundle of joy.

He continued to play with Louis, making silly faces and funny noises to make him laugh. As he watched Louis' face light up with every giddy little smile he continued to encourage him with soft praise.

He was a father now.

If only he could boast about this to his sibling!

Finally he’d be so jealous.

But alas.

Len continued to play with Louis. He enjoyed the simple pleasure of spending time with his baby. He cooed as he watched Louis explore the world around him. The baby’s eyes drooping from exhaustion yet still sparkling so brightly.

Len, who in the meanwhile had already sat back down on the rocking chair, placed one of many kisses on his little boy‘s head.

After about half an hour of idle playing, looking and cooing, Len heard the door unlock from the outside again. He looked up to see Sabrina standing in the doorway, a sly grin on her face.

"Hey, Len, mind if I come in and play with the baby?" she asked, her voice sweet.
Len tensed but quickly calmed back down.

Sabrina was the baby’s mommy after all. This was important bonding time!

He bit his tongue and nodded. This was all for the good of Lou!

"Sure." he said, making sure to loosen his grab around his baby boy.

Sabrina walked over to the rocking chair and reached out to take Lou from Len's arms.

Len hesitated for a moment. But Sabrina was quick to just completely grab him away.

Then she already held Lou in her arms and had replaced Len on the rocking chair. She was cooing and making silly faces. Make Louis laugh.

Len watched with a weird sense of unease. He couldn’t quite place this.

For now, he just had to watch and wait, hoping that Sabrina wouldn't do anything to hurt his baby.

Sabrina continued to play with Lou, making silly faces and funny noises to make him laugh. Len just watched and watched closer. Then even closer. Kind of curious about this situation.

He watched as Sabrina tickled Lou's belly, causing him to giggle and squirm. He couldn't help but smile at the sight, warmth and contentment washing over him.

This was fine. And more than fine.

His baby was so happy in it‘s mommy‘s arms.

Maybe this was how a true family should look like? Did they finally achieve that?

Wow. A family.

But just as he was starting to relax, Sabrina suddenly stopped tickling Lou and looked up at Len with a wicked grin.
"I have a game we can play," she said, her voice low and ominous.

“A game?”

“Yeah, of course! Look at this poor very bored baby! That’s no good!”

Len took a closer look at his baby’s facial expression but could only find sleepy content smiles and gurgles.

But maybe Sabrina knew something he didn’t? That wouldn’t be the first time…

Then Sabrina hoisted herself and Louis up.

“But first!”

•••

After the absolute way too huge disappointment from before, finally Sabrina was sure to have found something entertaining for the little shit.

Or for her and with the little shit.

Something entertaining for her that involved the little shit.

There we go.

She rolled her eyes as she remembered how god damn heavy the baby was.

Maybe they were feeding him too much.

Or she was just weak muscle wise?

Nah.

Nahhhhhh.

She huffed before throwing little Loui onto her dearest Len. The bastard.

“Take him.”

Sabrina pretended to not see the relieved facial expression he was throwing her.

Off to new adventures!

Sabrina clapped her hands together and promptly turned on her heel to lead the way out of the nursery.

God shit this nursery needed some reworked air ventilation. The air was basically standing there so thick you could cut it with a fucking knife!

Oh well.

Oh Sabrina was so excited to see the baby’s reaction to this new game!

It could almost be classified as educational! Of course it could! Sabrina made it! It’s absolutely revolutionary!

The power of video tape!

…okay, while not her invention (only because some fucker was born before her. Lucky shit) she was confident she absolutely reinvented the shit out it with this!

Hehe.

She happily skipped about, taking direction of the testing room.

The whines behind her only made her prouder.

The baby was so far under it didn’t even care if others heard this! Success!

She opened the door and made sure Len was inside before closing it again.

“Louiiiii! Don’t you want to play with some friends?!”

“…Sabrina he’s way too littl-“

“Was I talking to you?!”, god damn bastard.

Sabrina forced herself to take a deep breath.

Not the time. Later. Later later later.

Later.

Now it’s show time!

She hopped over some stuff on the ground.

Luckily at least some people in this facility were doing their jobs and the usual table in the middle, together with the cute little electro shock therapy thingy were replaced by a projector and a little play mat.

Uhhhh yesss!

She pointed at the mat and Len dutifully placed the baby onto it.

Loui whined but who cares.

He’ll be happy in a sec.

Sabrina grinned.

“Hey! Don’t fall asleep darling!”, she, as gently as she could, nudged Loui a little as he was on his to dreamland again.

“You can cuddle with daddy later! Now mommy has a nice surprise for you, okay Loui baby?”, her voice extra honeyed. Dripping sweet if you so will.

“And thumb away from your mouth little man, that’s disgusting.”

“Ah! I forgot the-“

“Well aren’t you just a great daddy? Forgetting the pacifier. Poor Loui is getting neglecting here! Oh well. It is what it is.”

Sabrina had enough awareness to hide the laugh that wanted to escape her. Len was just too funny. Well well.

Okay okay.

Enough enough.

Remember, positive affirmations for the baby in this headspace.

Still fragile!

Not stable!

Need to make stable!

Not much time left!

With that reminder Sabrina got out of her own jester headspace to return to a loving scientist mother once more.

She was just professional like this.

Gently she bend down to nudge the baby’s head into the right direction and instructed Len to start the projector.

A little video got projected onto the wall right in front of Loui and the baby’s eyes grew wide at what he saw.

Sabrina giggled.

Cute little baby.

•••

It was all a bit…fuzzy.

Slow. The things around Lou moved as if they were stuck in honey. Slowly drowning in it while trying to swim to the edge. An edge that would never come.

Lou’s thoughts were way too exhausting for himself right now and being handed back and forth and back and forth was not helping.

He blinked slowly.

Stupid Sabrina was being stupid and this was not what Lou needed right now.

He needed a na-… some sleep.

Okay you know what no, a nap is exactly what he needed. Adults can also take naps! He can take naps!

He just wanted to cuddle back into daddy’s arms and have his Lily and just exist in that almost sleeping, barely conscious space of nothing.

Just floating. Reality around him slowly grumbling away.

It was just that Sabrina was not helping.

If Lou had the energy he would give her a piece of his mind!

Absolutely!

But he didn’t. He could barely understand her stupid rambling and muttering and… just all her stuff.

Every time Lou blinked it seemed like he teleported somewhere else in time.

No. Yes? No.

Not quite.

It was just weird.

Lou felt so weird.

He didn’t like this.

He also didn’t like it when he suddenly registered the all too well known door of his kindergarten.

Now that wasn’t fair. That really wasn’t!

He had been so good! He hadn’t gotten himself a strike today and even Sabrina had told him just a minute or something ago that he was a good boy.

Not that Lou cared for that!

These words just usually meant no torture.

Unfair!

But!

But!

Len would never let that happen when Lou was having a hard morning! That’s right! Why didn’t Lou think about this before?!

So Lou did what he was best at: trying to manipulate the heck out of Len by pretending to be the baby he wants to have! Yes. And that entailed letting out a gut wrenching whine and holding onto Len for dear life.

Lou was just amazing like this. A natural actor! Really he should have picked up acting… he could have made millions! Ahh scratch that! Billions!

He could have lived in an awesome huge huuuge apartment and and he could have bought Len from Sabrina and then Len would be Lou’s butler. Lou would have an awesome life!

Everyone would be foaming at the mouth to meet him or- no no! Just to get a look at him! They would all love him even though they had never met him!

No one would ever tell Lou that his attitude was wrong or that he- or that he wasn’t acting his age or… stuff.

Yeah.

And then he could use his amazing skills to stick it to his mom! Show just how much she lost! Yes. Yes he’d make her so jealous! He’d send her money and send Len to her house so she can see what power Lou actually had.

Lou could just lay in bed the whole time!

No…wait…

Something felt wrong there…

What was Lou- No, where was Lou? He couldn’t remember.

Wasn’t there something-

“And thumb away from your mouth little man, that’s disgusting.”

What?!

Lou blinked back into existence with a sudden shock running through his veins.

He focused in on the thumb hovering over his bottom lip.

Hah!

It wasn’t ‘in’ his mouth! Not at all! It was just scraping at his bottom lip. Just- oh. Oh no wait it’s wet.

Lou pulled a grimace. That’s disgusting. His thumb was disgusting. Yikes.

He clumsily tried to dry his thumb on his clothing and on the soft thing he was laying on.

Laying on?

HEY!

Len had put Lou down! In this god damn torture chamber! How dare he?! Why would daddy do that? That was so unfair. Lou bit down hard on his bottom lip, blinking to make his clouding gaze clear back up again.

He was obviously still acting.

Obviously.

But he was just too good at this!

He bit down harder until suddenly his head rudely got repositioned. How dare they?!

Lou was already pulling air into his lungs to let out a loud huff of annoyance when a weird light lit up.

‘A weird light lit up’? Wow Lou’s head felt too slow for this right now. Where is this co-

A soft babbling shut down anything Lou could have possible attempted to think moving on.

He tried to focus in on what was in front of him.

It was just that his head couldn’t make sense out of it.

No matter how hard he blinked or how hard he tried to reload his brain. The picture in front of him didn’t make sense.

There was a girl. A woman? Probably should be a woman. Age? Lou had never been good at guessing that. He squinted at her. She looked a little pale. A little tired. But even Lou’s slow brain could guess that she was too old.

Or too young?

It didn’t fit.

Nothing fit.

She gurgled something, clapping her hands only to use them a second later to tug at her own hair. A lean hand was quick to come out of the unseen void to detangle the girls hand from her hair.

A ‘tsk’ could be heard.

Lou blinked once more. Then it clicked.

She was like him.

At that thought Lou found himself unable to rip his eyes away from her.

Yeah. She was just like him.

Just… gone.

That was the only difference. She was already gone.

Lou stared emptily when her eyes filled with water, lightly swatting at the hand that held one of hers.

Panicked Lou almost just grabbed out towards her. She shouldn’t swat at daddy. That wasn’t good. Especially because she had been stupid!

Something was tightening Lou’s throat and he wheezed a little.

He vaguely registered a sigh and suddenly daddy’s hand was pulling Lou’s thumb away. Now Lou huffed. He hadn’t sucked his thumb! He was just picking at his lip! Just let him pick at his lip!

“There there. Do you like her?”, daddy hummed and Lou tried to turn away from him even more than he already was. How could he like her?! She wasn’t doing anything!

He focused back on the girl.

A distant voice was whispering something. But it didn’t belong to daddy. It didn’t belong to Sabrina. It just confused Lou.

“Don’t worry about them baby. They are just taking care of Jassy. Because she’s just as itsy bitsy tiny as you are honey. Would you like to play with her? How about you show her your misses foxy mh?”

The words slowly sank into Lou’s brain. He probably should ask some questions right now. He should, shouldn’t he? But what should he ask? He didn’t know. So he just accepted daddy directing his hands.

The girl squealed a little and Lou was sure it was because of how cool she thought Lily was. Of course. She was just a stupid baby after all. She was so far under! She squealed because she saw a stuffy.

“Loui baby.”

Lou wrinkled his nose. Why would Sabrina talk to him now? He didn’t want to talk with her. He only wanted daddy to stay. She wasn’t necessary.

“Look she wants to show you hers.”, Sabrina took Lou’s head into both her hands and hold it fixed towards the girl.

The girl, Jassy or something, was now tightly hugging a brown teddy bear.

Where did that come from?

Didn’t matter.

It looked kind of fluffy, Lou supposed.

She was moving it up and down almost mechanically. A bell or an alarm of sorts was going off inside Lou’s sticky, clouded head. But he couldn’t place it. He just knew that something was weird about the girl.

And it wasn’t the fact that she acted like a baby.

Lou felt himself grabbing Lily tighter and tighter. His knuckles hurt. How long has he been holding her like this?

“It’s alright baby. Come on, breathe.”, daddy had replaced Sabrina and was rubbing his back. The circles were slow and warm and Lou slowly matched his breathing with the rhythm.

Right, that’s just a baby.

Why would Lou be scared of her?

He wasn’t scared of her!

Jassy moved her teddy’s arm to make it look like he was waving and daddy started to move Lou’s hand to do the same with Lily.

Slowly Lou relaxed some more.

Nothing could happen.

It was fine.

He could play along for her. Just a little. He didn’t even have a choice actually! Daddy was doing everything! It wasn’t Lou’s fault for playing along!

But he did have to admit, it was kind of nice. Only a little.

Only because it was something else from the usual. It actually was… fun? Maybe.

Lou found himself actually enjoying the little stuffy play they had started. Hopefully this will-

No.

Stop.

…but why?

Daddy sighed and ruffled Lou’s hair softly.

“You are just too precious baby.”, he put his chin on top of Lou’s head and Lou just had to smile at that. Precious. Precious. Precious.

This ‘playing’ was nice.

Then suddenly Jassy smiled widely while throwing her teddy up and Lou’s heartbeat stopped momentarily. Then it jumped up to a way too high pace.

He literally jumped a little. Before he could even stop himself he had already frantically grabbed at daddy and was trying to fight against tears.

Her mouth- her mouth was empty. She didn’t have teeth.

There was nothing.

Lou choked on a hiccup, his heart thrumming in his ears, his fingers hurting and cramping so bad.

She was scary.

Jassy was scary.

Lou was scared.

He couldn’t breathe. He couldn’t get air into his lungs no matter how hard he tried.

But he tried so hard.

He tried so hard why wasn’t there any air?!He needed air. Why didn’t daddy help?!

Why couldn’t Lou breathe?!

“Da-“, Lou started coughing as he stumbled over his words.

He couldn’t even see anything right now. It was all blurry. It was all gone. Why was it all gone?!

Make it stop!

Make it stop!

He’s dying.

Lou can feel himself dying.

Adrenaline rushing through his body.

He was going to die here, right now and and and

His head was draining. It was bleeding out. It felt like it was bleeding out. But it also, finally, felt empty. Finally. Bleeding empty.

Then he went limp. Too tired and empty to keep himself up.

His head felt even more funny than before.

Just empty.

“There you go. There you go. It’s okay. You are so brave baby. Such a brave baby. I love you so much.”

Lou barely registered how a kiss was placed on his cheek.

Then he felt himself again. He felt his own breathing again that had evened out without him even realizing it.

“I’m so sorry that she scared you baby. It’s okay. Stuff we aren’t used to can be so scary. Daddy is here. Daddy’s here.”

Lou was cradled tightly against daddy’s chest.

The room was spinning.

He couldn’t move.

He felt dizzy and weak and so small and-

The image of Jassys smile popped back up and Lou shivered.

“Aww Loui. No no, it’s fine! I- we won’t pull your teeth! Mommy would never do something like that to her sweet little baby! Now calm down.”, her cold hand was running through Lou’s hair.

She would pull his teeth?

Yeah she probably wants to pull his teeth now.

That’s why she showed him this.

Why hadn’t he thought of this before?!

This only made him hang on tighter to daddy though.

Because he knew daddy would never do that. Daddy was safe. Mommy lied but daddy would never!

“I think that was enough play time for now mh? How about we go back home baby.”

Lou nodded into daddy’s chest.

“Okay baby, okay. We’ll go back home, get you changed and have a nice relaxing, warm bath. How does that sound mh? Wouldn’t that be nice.”

Lou didn’t care.

As long as daddy stayed with him it would be fine.

Whatever it was.

He was too weak to fight anyway.

The world was just too big.

Only daddy could safe him.

Lou didn’t fight the diaper change.

Lou gave in easily when, instead of the usual porridge a bottle was pressed against his lips.

He actually was thankful.

He didn’t have the mental power to be strapped into the high chair and actually chew.

Maybe bottles also had their perks.

Obviously they did.

Right now they did.

He was also thankful that Lily got to stay with him.

Obviously just because she was still scared. It was just because of Lily. Lou was just there for her! She needed him! That was all.

“There there. Such an adorable little boy I have.”, daddy chuckled and wiped at Lou’s chin. How did he let that milk escape? Nah whatever. Lou didn’t have to care about this. It wasn’t his responsibility. Not right now.

He yawned.

“Such a sleepy head. This was an exciting day, wasn’t it? You poor thing.”, daddy booped Lou’s nose.

“Now let’s go have a nice bath mh? I bet your ducky is feeling so lonely in there.”

Lou didn’t want to have a bath.

That meant he’d have to get undressed and leave Lily alone with her thoughts and get out of daddy’s arms and then he’d have to get dry again. It just seemed like so much work.

He didn’t want that!

Lou was so exhausted he only let out a watery hiccup.

“I know, I know. We are so comfy here.”, daddy hummed.

“How about this? I’ll make sure the bath is over with really really fast and then you’ll get two bedtime stories! Wouldn’t that be nice?”

Meanie.

Lou pouted.

He couldn’t fight against daddy anyway. Why did he even ask?

Another kiss was placed on his face.

Chapter Text

Lou really really wanted to fall asleep when Len started to undress him again.

He also thought that this was kind of stupid. Stupid daddy.

He had just dressed Lou again from the diaper change and now he undressed him again. Daddy really was so stupid.

Lou could only shake his head.

Then he paused.

Again. Something wasn’t quite-

He felt like he did something wrong… what was it? There was a mistake somewhere…

Len. It’s Len.

…what had he just called him?

Ah.

Lou closed his eyes in defeat.

You know what? Why not. Why the hell not?! As long as it just stayed in his head it was fine! It was totally fine! Remembering a name and repeating it on and on was just getting exhausting. That’s it. And if he just calls Len ‘daddy’ in his head then it’s like it’s not even happening!

No one else heard it, then it never happened.

Yes.

Lou gave a deep sigh while daddy was pulling a comb through his hair.

If he actually would have ended up as a world wide famous actor nothing like this would have ever happened.

He’d be commanding daddy all over the place. He wouldn’t have to take these baths every over day. No. And he’d do it all by himself.

…mostly by himself.

People all around him would literally beg him to just glance their way. And once in a while, if he felt generous, he’d even do that and they would faint row after row. They’d be crazy for him. And there would be no humiliation.

As soon as he was lowered into the warm water Lou was ripped out of his nice dreamland though.

How mean. He liked the idea of himself as an actor.

He’d be amazing!

He already had proven to be an amazing actor but he couldn’t exactly brag about it here. That would be counterproductive.

Really.

“Look here! The ducky is so happy to see you again honey! I think he really likes you mh.”

The duck got pressed into his hand.

Lou just stared.

When he slightly repositioned his hand daddy started praising him for ‘playing so well’ or something. He wasn’t playing… he wasn’t.

Lou silently watched the duck float in the water. He didn’t like this.

Well, obviously but… he didn’t like this feeling. This feeling of losing himself. Or his own reality. As cheesy as it sounded.

He had felt helpless before. He never would have wanted to admit that but obviously he had. He had felt like he was drowning constantly for the most part of his life. It was just that now, right here, he actually had a reason to feel like this. His life before had been absolutely perfect. He had always been exceptionally lucky. It was just that his brain never quite liked to play along. But now it was the exact opposite of that.

What if he just pretended?

Would that help?

Not pretending in the way of acting but…

What if this wasn’t a stupid rubber duck. What if this wasn’t a stupid sterile and boring bathtub that was connected with a stupid nursery.

He closed his eyes to really set the picture.

He was in a very expensive bathtub in an apartment that was in a huge skyscraper. There is a window and when he would turn towards it, he’d see clouds and a wide skyline with a beautiful sunset. Sunbeams peaking through like lines of silk that had been stretched tight.

A world doused in gold and pearls. Shimmering so rich it looked hot and yet so so cozy. Pressing shimmer that danced over water.

Len was a butler…no that would be weird… he was a robot! Yes! He was a very expensive, high tech robot that was just doing whatever Lou had told him to do.

So this was all going like planned because this was all his own wish! Yes. He was the boss with alll the money.

Sabrina who was awkwardly standing in the corner, scribbling something down on a clipboard wasn’t Sabrina but…erm… Ah! She was the smart-home assistant! Yes.

Because if Lou is very rich then he also has a smart-home assistant! Duh.

The water smells like something very nice and high class and not like stupid sweet berries for children and the tiles around him reflect the golden orange sunshine that shines through the window. A mirror next to a false plant glittered as if it was made of thousands of little crystals. Maybe even diamonds.

Lou lets himself fall back and relax. The robot butler is gently massaging in some shampoo and rinses it back out with the slowly cooling water. It slides down his head, down his neck, back down to the rest of the water that surrounds him. But it never reaches his face.

It’s safe.

Why had he never used his money like this? What a waste. He should have done this earlier.

Being a scientist in a huge facility like this had payed well. Especially with the position he had had. But he never had had time to spend his money. He never had had the ‘want’ to spend his money.

Because in the end of the day it would have been all useless.

He knew that.

Lou knew very well that if he had quit and used his money like in his phantasy right now he probably wouldn’t still be alive.

Harsh but fair.

He had to be real with himself.

Although maybe that would have been better.

Who knows.

Lou snapped back to reality when he suddenly got jostled.

A shock ran through Lou’s veins when he became aware that they weren’t in the small and sterile bathroom anymore but in the nursery.

Not only that but daddy- Len? …robot butler? …let’s sort that out later…

Let’s…let’s just continue.

Not only that but Lou was being placed on the changing table.

His breath hitched.

There was no way he had been this far gone into his phantasy. No way.

“What’s the matter baby? Oh it’s okay, it’s okay. Look! Daddy’s here. I’m here.”

Well duh that was the norm but that wasn’t what had Lou gasping for air right now!

Read the room!

“When-“, Lou started, his speech slightly slurred but he found he couldn’t actually change it anymore.

“Oh you were so drowsy baby, we can go down for a nap soon okay? But first daddy has to make sure you are clean after you’ve went number two mh baby?”, he hummed.

…Lou had what?

Lou had what?

He didn’t even feel anger or embarrassment, he just stared. Perplexed. Maybe even flabbergasted.

He had what now while he was daydreaming?

Now, okay, he didn’t have control over any of his bodily fluids. Yes. But usually he at least realized when he shat himself. Plainly spoken.

At least his head was already clearer now but still. What?

How…

“Oh no, no Baby don’t cry! I’m so so proud of you!”

“No.”, Lou didn’t care. He was just overwhelmed right now. Even he could recognize that about himself.

“But I am! You did so well baby. So so well.”

Lou just let the words wash over him, trying to find some comfort in them.

But well, it didn’t really help.

It had just been an awful day.

That little ‘teleportation’ thingy that just happened had simply topped it completely.

He wasn’t even freaking out because of the shit in his pants.

He had fallen so low.

His bowels weren’t something he really was concerned about anymore. They were spiking his food with laxatives after all. This wasn’t in his control anymore.

But his brain just blending out periods of time like this?!

Whole other level!

Scary level.

Why was everything so scary?!

He gave a big, watery sigh in an attempt to stop his little panic attack and grabbed to daddy.

Daddy’s facial expression was so soft and full of pity and Lou couldn’t take it. But at the same time it felt good to know that his panic was being taken seriously.

Because the carer always took his tears seriously.

At least that was something good.

•••

It took a while until the baby stopped fussing. Len just couldn’t stand seeing Loui like this.

The baby was so so sniffly.

Len was confident it was because Loui was so exhausted. Because of the muscle spasms he hadn’t slept much at night and then he missed his nap by about two hours.

The poor thing was absolutely exhausted.

Len cooed at the baby sympathetically.

But Len also felt pride. If only the circumstances of this huge milestone were different. He sighed when the baby desperately latched onto him after his change.

Poor baby was shaking all over.

Len decided to settle in the rocking chair again, starting up with a little fairytale about Snow White. He had realized early on that Loui reacted positively to these old fairytales and who was Len to deny his baby these bedtime stories?

It took for Snow White to die two times, firstly because of a corset that had been strung too tightly and then because of a comb that had poison on it, for Loui to calm down again. But shortly after, when the evil queen split the poisoned apple in half to give the bad side to the princess, the baby was already halfway in dreamland.

Len was so glad he requested some old fairytale books to recite.

When the story was over he started with a second one just like he promised. Even though his baby’s breathing had long evened out.

He never broke his promises after all. He never learned how to do that.

When he was done he carefully stood up to place Loui in his crib and tuck him in together with his Lily.

Then he just admired him.

The day had been so hard for Louis.

Len gently twisted one of the baby’s locks around his finger. The hair was so soft after the bath and Len simply couldn’t get enough of it.

But when the door opened he had to rip his gaze away regardless.

“How’s he doing?”

“He’s tired.”

“Could have guessed as much.”, Sabrina rolled her eyes.

“You know, this wouldn’t have happened if you hadn’t just decided to leave his medicine out.”

Ah. So that was why she had been so agitated.

…but was that really Len’s fault? He swallowed hard.

“What do you-“

“Ah it’s fine. It seems like you at least were right about something.”, she lazily strolled over to him and threw an arm over his shoulder. But Len barely payed attention. Most of his focus was on Louis.

“But… you told me to just-“

“Ach, I don’t care what I told you. Obviously I only meant for you to leave the laxatives out and not the rest.”, she huffed. “But it’s fine. It’s fine. Not every day can be perfect for the little thing. There has to be some downs for him to really enjoy the ups.

“But that’s not right! You can’t just let him suffer!”

“Shush. Len. Even if he’s sleeping, don’t talk like this right in front of him. Did you know that it’s rather common for small children to want to die when they hear about the problems of grownups? Not because they are scared of the problems but because they think they are the problem. Funny, isn’t it? So don’t go around starting fights like this. We don’t want this baby to end up like the last one now do we?”

Len’s gaze hastily flickered over their sleeping boy and then quickly lowered itself.

She was right. Fighting in front of babies wasn’t good. So he swallowed the angry questions he had back down.

“So anyways!”, she lightly clapped her hands “Up the Valium by a little. Also next time you feed him porridge add some bananas, I’ll provide them. And yeah, I think you can just leave the laxatives out continuing forward. Today proofed your theory right! Congratulations! The baby’s first real shit!”

Sabrina abruptly pushed Len away and then ruffled his hair.

“You sure are my perfect little thing mh.”, she hummed.

“So anyways, tomorrow as his achievement reward we’ll neglect kindergarten conditioning with some kindergarten fun!”

She laughed and out she was again.

Len hummed.

His baby would surely appreciate that a whole lot more.

Chapter Text

“Seven! Did you see my note- Ah there it is. Forget about it!”

“What?”, Len had just left his baby to nap and entered their living quarters when his brother rushed around the place like a madman.

“Don’t have time, bye.”

And gone he was.

“What was that?”, he watched the door close again.

“Three was so excited to finally be part of that social study that he lost it.”

“Lost what?”

“His mind.”, number four was adjusting their tie in the cracked mirror. Their face as serious as ever.

“Ouch.”, Len laughed before pulling off his sweater.

While holding Louis he wants the baby to feel as comfortable as possible and he has noticed that his boy’s response to a soft sweater was just adorable.

“Louis is adorable! You know he just had his first real sh-“

“Not now.”

“Oh.”, Len hung his head low, a little disappointed.

“Listen Seven… You know I wasn’t made for that kind of stuff. That was six. I can see that you want to talk about it though so maybe you can get three as your victim later. I have a meeting in a few.”, and they strutted right past Len to leave him completely alone.

Len sighed.

He just wanted to brag about his baby. How mean.

He sighed again and let himself fall dramatically against the metal framework of their multi story sleeping units. It creaks and cracks under his weight.

Well, it all didn’t help, he needed a shower.

And fast.

Every second away from his baby just made him antsy. What if his baby woke up crying and was completely alone?! What if the baby monitor malfunctioned and he wouldn’t hear?! What if-

He quickly rushed to have an ice cold shower before his thoughts threw him into a panic.

Three minutes later he was drying his hair and taking his share of todays supplements, not missing how number three hasn’t had his yet.

He must have been really excited. But he always was really enthusiastic about a lot of things. Social studies were his purpose so no wonder he was excited about this.

Only then did Len get dressed again, almost slipping on the metal ground when the tech connected to Loui’s baby monitor made a sound.

But he was pleased to realize that his little one was just sleeping soundly.

If only he could brag about his baby…

Then it all would be perfect.

But no.

So he went back to the nursery to brag about his baby to himself, if you so will.

He couldn’t wait for tomorrow. It was ironic but he found that he might actually be more excited about seeing his baby play than the baby was about playing, at least currently. But that will change.

Len already saw more than once how his boy was starting to interact with the objects around him. Especially since his mobility returned! He couldn’t be prouder when he sees Louis moving his Fox Lily around, making her arms flop around. Even when it was just in fleeting moments when the baby didn’t know anyone was watching.

He seemed to have a great imagination.

And even in the bath, when they finished up, Louis just wouldn’t let go of the little ducky! It was adorable.

Even the way he interacted with the recording of Jassy had been down right precious.

The pure joy in his face when he thought Jassy was reacting to his Lily. It made Len’s heart beat faster. He had been so proud.

It was good for his development to play with babies his age! Even if it‘s just to show him that it‘s okay to play.

Of course Sabrina had to go ahead and chose a recording were Jassy’s mouth opened right on the first time. That should have been something for later, Len thinks.

He rolled his eyes in annoyance.

But well, Len supposes that’s just how some babies looked. Louis had to get used to that. It’s completely normal for them to be teethless.

Also she had been a huge brat. If not for that, who knows what she’d have done with that amount of privilege?! After the procedure, as far as Len knew anyways, she had been on her best behavior!

Louis was different though. He had been perfect from the very start. He deserved the privilege because he won’t abuse it. He’s too much of a good boy for that. Also the baby is already scared enough as is!

Len took his place in front of the crib.

He was also moving along way faster than they had expected. Sabrina said it’s probably because of her improved technique but really Len is sure it’s just because Louis was born for this. He was always destined to be his baby boy.

Aw. Len smiled softly at what he saw when he stared into the crib.

His baby’s pacifier had slipped out of his mouth. Instead did the corner of his blanket sneak it’s way up into it.

Yuck.

Len chuckled when he gently nudged the blanket out of his mouth and put the pacifier back in.

While Sabrina did say to encourage stuff like this, she also said to avoid danger. And in Len’s opinion that posed for a huge hazard.

All he could do was follow his orders after all. Just like all his siblings as well.

He hummed in surprise when his baby, instead of grabbing onto his Lily, grabbed onto Len’s finger.

He is such a sweet little boy.

Len’s heart was melting more and more each day! He couldn’t take it.

He wished there was a way to just freeze this moment in time and replay it again and again. His precious boy. It makes Len feel like crying.

A weird feeling.

Wasn’t crying supposed to be a response to something sad? But he didn’t feel sad. He was just so happy!

Len was discovering new emotions every day!

•••

Lou’s robot butler had just positioned him at his high class desk to finally get to the paper work. Just mere minutes ago! Or a little longer?

The beautiful skyline visible from the window front was only half acknowledged by Lou as he started up his tedious work that famous actors have to do. Obviously.

He huffed as he realized that the…erm…Ah! that the management had written the words wrong again!

Idiots! He’s the only smart one here!

Okay, his smart home assistant was smart as well. Maybe. She knew how to spell at least.

Afterwards Lou will have his five star dinner…or…lunch?…screw time. Time isn’t important for a brilliant actor like himself!

And then…then…yeah…uhm…he’ll have a meeting with his best… coworker Miss Jassy. Probably… no, yes! It’s time for a meeting again today!

Lou continued pondering over the spelling of his important work. Something was wrong here. But…what? He didn’t know what was wrong here. It just looked wrong.

He directed his home assistant to take a look at it and she chuckled. Ungrateful little-

Quickly the spelling went from ‘accwaintance’ to ‘acquaintance’.

Ouch.

But well, the things you do as a high class actor to keep your home assistant sharp and smart.

If a home assistant isn’t challenged regularly they’ll turn stupid after all!

Lou didn’t want his home assistant to turn stupid! He was just a good boss like this!

“Oh wow, what are you doing there baby?”, robot daddy sputtered.

“Not a baby.”

“Loui honey!”, the home assistant glared at him and he shut up. Stupid Sabrina home assistant. She was only still here because Lou was such a good boss! Lou could always and at all times make them all disappear! He only just didn’t because…because…yeah. Because!

“Work.”, he finally just answered as seriously as possible. He wanted to stay in this imaginary world for now. It was easier.

If he fell out of his role it would all turn to too much again.

Recently it’s been easier to stay there. In the world of the famous and amazing actor Lou.

The routine had changed a little. Kindergarten turned from pure torture to just, how Lou called them, his meetings of important work! They had… okay they called it ‘play time’ …or something. Not that Lou would actually care or something.

Then he got to hold his meeting with miss Jassy, those were mostly very efficient and okay. He slowly got used to her…special features and special needs. But he liked her despite all that.

He blushed a little thinking about her.

But he quickly shook his head. She was only a work colleague after all! Get a grip!

And, the best thing, now Lou only got fried when he really stepped out of line! So he just resorted to his phantasy and then he was mostly safe.

“Is that so? What’s the work you gotta do Loui?”, the home assistant interrupted his thoughts. He glared at her stupid face.

What a stupid question! So he just pointed at the words he had spelled out with the blocks.

No, he was not playing with baby blocks that had one day just randomly appeared. He was working.

Duh.

“Very impressive work baby boy.”, the robot daddy- erm robot butler pressed a… very respectful! kiss onto Loui’s forehead.

But! But only because the robot isn’t able to bend down to kiss his feet! Yeah! That’s the reason for it in universe! You better not forget that fact! Because it’s important!

Jup.

“I think it’s time for some drinkies mh? How does a nice bottle sound baby?”

Bottle? But…but wasn’t it supposed to be porridge now?

Lou stared at his dad- robot. His robot.

That was practically ruining his whole phantasy right here! How dare he?! Some…some none sense that is!

“Oh, oh no baby. What’s wrong?”

What’s wrong?! You are ruining this whole thing right now! What’s Lou supposed to do now? That was it with his dreams and and and-

“Oh no, daddy was a little stupid mh. Mean daddy. Playing like this with our routine.”

“Tsk tsk tsk. Loui baby. If I were you I’d go to mommy now. At least mommy knows what’s supposed to happen.”

Lou took a deep breath.

Now it was already too late.

He was out of the game! And they had only themselves to blame!

However he also didn’t want Sabrina to try and hold him again.

That was a thing he didn’t ever want to repeat again.

Never ever ever.

So he decided to forgive daddy for being stupid. Ahhh he can’t do this anymore.

It felt like only mere seconds after, that he got strapped into his high hair and a bowl of porridge was placed before him.

They recently started putting fruit onto the bowl! Like strawberries and bananas and sometimes blueberries. But the blueberries were no fun. Someone always squashed them before hand so they were just mushy.

If Lou finds that someone ohhhh then it’s on sight!

Daddy had just adjusted a very much stupid bib around Lou’s neck when he saw from the corner of his eye how Sabrina wanted to leave.

Nothing wrong with that per se. However, Lou was still feeling very annoyed. And since he had forgiven his daddy, well… who could blame him?

So in a moment of combined: the still rather close back of Sabrina and a free line and lots of space in that direction, Lou took aim.

The strawberry covered in goo landed right in the middle of Sabrina’s lab coat with a ‘futch’-kind of sound.

Only then, when sudden silence engulfed him, did Lou’s brain start thinking again.

Shit.

Oh shit.

What the fuck did he think?!

Nothing!

Fuck!

Slowly Sabrina turned around.

Lou’s heart was bounding in his ears.

Shit.

No.

He hadn’t really meant to-

No.

His throat closed up.

Why did he do that?! Was he trying to get killed?! Why?!

He childishly closed his eyes tightly.

He knew what was about to come.

And it did.

Harshly he got gripped around his left arm. Fingernails digging into his skin through the fabric of his jumper.

He cringed at the feeling. It was disgusting.

He still had his eyes shut but he could feel how the straps got loosened again and he got janked out if his seat.

In his panic he didn’t know what to do.

“Louis. We. Don’t. Throw. Food.”, Sabrina grabbed his jaw tightly and forced his eyes to open. When he did, a terrifying grimace on her face was slowly exchanged with a bright smile again.

“There’s my boy! Now, why did you do that? If you wanted attention you could have just said so, you know?”, her voice was sweet but her grip on his arm was still hard and it hurt.

Lou tried to find daddy but he couldn’t.

“Instead you’ll get a strike now. That’s your first one in a while mh. Bad baby. Bad bad baby.”, she tsk’d and shook her head.

“But well, I know you’re just a baby. You have no impulse control. Tell you what, since you’ve been behaving so well till now this will only be three hits for your bottom okay? Since you are just a baby.”, she finally let go of his jaw to pet his head.

He wasn’t a baby!

He wasn’t!

But he’d be stupid to argue against that right now. He was getting away way too easily with only three hits already.

He felt his eyes getting hot.

But he wasn’t a baby!

He hadn’t lost to them completely quite yet! He hadn’t! He was just playing along so well! But he wasn’t a baby.

He wasn’t…

He heard himself whimper a little.

Stupid Loui.

He shook his head.

“I know, I know… okay, before we get to your punishment, I’ll tell you a secret okay Loui boy?”, she let go of his arm and gently rubbed circles…or better ovals across it.

“Are you listening?”

Lou reluctantly nodded his head.

Sabrina came closer, her breaths were hitting his skin and it tickled.

“I hate hate hate punishing you baby! But I also can’t let behavior like this go unchecked. Even if you yourself don’t even know why you did what you did. The punishment will help you. That’s why it’s so important. But what am I saying, you already knew that, didn’t you?”

Lou bit his lip and swallowed hard before nodding again.

“Good boy.”, she whispered “so you understand why I have to do this don’t you. I know that no one can always remember everything so I’m just helping you out here. I promise you it’ll help you clear your brain, okay?”

She looked at him expectedly and somehow actually sad?

All Lou could do again, was nod.

Okay, it had been his fault. Maybe he did deserve it… actually, yeah…he didn’t know why he did that. He had just been annoyed but…what kind of adult throws things when they are annoyed?

The dam broke and he started crying.

No no.

Shit.

No.

He… he was… but…it’s so unfair! Unfair!

“Oh baby! It’s okay. Let’s get this over with and then you can have some nice food and cuddles from your dada mh.”

Lou planned to say ‘okay’ but in the middle of it he hiccuped and it sounded rather…small.

He pulled a face.

“There there. Lets get you over my lap baby Loui.”

It hurt so much. Again. And he had worked so hard to avoid getting hits.

But Sabrina was right, he deserved that. Maybe not for the reasons she had said but… he deserved it.

He hiccuped again and more tears streamed down his face.

She might as well could have hit him five times. It made no difference. Maybe it would have been better.

Maybe it would have smacked some sense into him.

Maybe it would have gotten his brain back onto the right lane.

But it didn’t.

And by the end he found himself screaming for daddy.

Because at least daddy would make it a little better. Even if he didn’t deserve to have someone make him feel better.

“Aww baby. You are adorable like this. Mommy loves you mh. There you go.”, finally Lou was passed back to daddy. And he cried even more.

And he hated himself even more.

Regardless, he’d rather daddy kiss it all better.

Maybe daddy could make his brain disappear and make his thoughts all better?

Then he could just be happy and not have his brain scream at him regardless of if he does or if he doesn’t.

He just wanted to be happy.

Just this once.

Why can’t his brain ever play along? It’s so unfair.

He doesn’t know what he’s supposed to feel.

So he hangs on tightly to his daddy.

“Looks like it will be a bottle now mh?”, the deep voice was a nice thing to focus on when his brain was all broken.

“Seems like daddy was right all along.”, stupid stupid stupid mommy laughed. Stupid.

Lou cried even more.

She just wanted to help him understand himself. He was mean. Or…she was mean?

He was being unreasonable…

“There there. Such big feelings for my poor tiny baby.”, daddy hummed “don’t think too much. Babies don’t need to think mh. You were just having so so many buggy big thoughts. Bad bad thoughts. It’s okay now. Daddy will make it all better.”

Sometimes it was as nice as it was weird. And those ‘sometimes’ were getting more and more frequent.

He had to finally be honest with himself. Being in daddy’s arms was just comforting, even if it did make him feel awfully little. Like he shrunk.

So so tiny.

Tiny baby.

Maybe he could convince his brain to be silent if he…

No.

That would really mean he actively gave up.

But… daddy was right, baby’s don’t think big thoughts. So…

He still had control over this. He was just… yeah. He wasn’t losing, he was just…surviving? Or something.

“Now now, what do we say baby?”

“…m sorry.”, he bit out. Cuddling deeper into daddy to at least try and hide from the world.

“My good boy.”

He got a kiss onto his head but he couldn’t see who gave it to him. So he just didn’t react. Except for the hiccup that was out of his control.

“There. Loui baby? Please come out of your hiding spot. I can barely see you anymore.”

…wait…did hiding in daddy actually work?

Lou was so surprised, he actually looked up.

“Hello baby. I got you a bottle mh. A bottle for my teeny tiny baby boy.”, daddy hummed and pressed the nipple of the bottle into Lou’s face. Lou happily accepted.

“Good boy. You were just a little cranky because you were so hungry mh. I get that. You didn’t know how to tell us.”, daddy started walking around and finally sat down on the rocking chair.

Did he do it because he had been cranky?

It was an explanation…

Was it a good one?

Lou pushed those thoughts away again. Way too big thoughts. Daddy was right. Daddy was always right.

“You are doing so well”, daddy brushed some hair from Lou’s forehead.

Lou almost just fell asleep while drinking. It was just a tad bit too comfy.

Even while daddy walked around burping him he didn’t stir too much.

Recently he’s noticed that his energy levels were declining.

That whole playing stuff was usually enough to knock him out after and this little tantrum he’s just had had really drained him.

It was almost as if he couldn’t actually get really awake anymore. He just got more and more tired.

So tired.

‘Babies need a lot sleep’, did daddy say.

Maybe…

Chapter Text

Lou has made a decision.

Attention everyone Lou has made a decision!

He has now officially upgraded robot butler to butler daddy… or daddy butler. That one is still up for debate. But regardless!

Yes.

But again, it’s just in his head and no one will ever hear him think, so this change is totally safe and totally still absolutely cool with him not actually giving in and losing but just playing along because…erm wait this thought process was getting too long and complicated.

Lou shook his head.

But yeah the message is clear!

He petted Lily like the villain mastermind in a hero story because he was just so smart!

And amazing.

Hehe.

He looked over todays work.

A complicated mission to rebuild an entirely destroyed document that was of utmost importance!

Otherwise known as a thirty pieces puzzle.

Butler daddy was trying to assist but as always he was way too stupid and thus it left world famous actor Lou to fend for himself!

A tragic story that will end in great victory!

Obviously! Today just couldn’t be ruined for him!

Somehow Lou was just really having a good day.

Like astronomically good.

He didn’t even know why but today was just a day that simply could not be soured for him.

And don’t be fooled, the smart home assistant had tried!

Okay, she had simply implied that Lily needed a wash or something but oh my god no she doesn’t! What kind of monster puts a fox into a spinning water dispensing nightmare whirlpool?!

But, not regarding that little incident, its been going great!

Anyways, he didn’t even fuss when he got a diaper change!

…wait weird thing to flex about…

But it wasn’t in his control anyways so shut up!

He giggled when the daddy robot tried to put the wrong piece into the outer part of the puzzle.

“No.”, he patiently wiggled his finger around to show him just how god damn wrong he was.

On Lou’s orders they had started with the corners first. Then the complete outer sides of the puzzle and now just needed one last piece to complete the frame like structure.

Because Lou was just so smart!

He didn’t even care that the puzzle was actually a hello kitty one. In his brain this was a secret document that his rival… who can’t be named because…he’s erm…Voldemort or something…listen he’ll figure out that plot point in his story later on, okay?! But yeah that his rival tried to destroy so Lou could never find it but Lou did find it now and it was close to completion!

Muhahah.

“No? Oh but which one’s the right one then? Can you find it baby?”

Lou’s expertise could finally be brought out to sparkle in the fresh orange sun shining from the great and absolutely amazing skyline into their skyscraper and…did that even make sense? Well, Lou didn’t care if it made sense!

He, smart as he was, grabbed the only piece left with one smooth side. There.

He proudly looked at his butler daddy.

Daddy clapped!

Lou wiggled a little because he didn’t know how to react to that.

Just why was he so giddy?

Well, okay, don’t get him wrong. It felt nice. But being on this high was also kind of scary.

Because like why was it there? Where was it going?

But eh, unimportant.

He could barely sit still right now so whatever. Thinking about that would just waste this sudden surge of energy and he was not about to waste it!

No! Nope!

“More!”, he grabbed three pieces from the pile of puzzle pieces that he had pushed aside before.

“More? And here daddy thought we were done?”, daddy laughed and Lou gave him a disapproving look.

Of course they were almost done! Daddy butler made this just last forever because he was so stupid!

Carefully Lou placed one piece after the other inside of the puzzle- document. Inside…erm no… pieced together the document. Yes. Good Loui.

He huffed proudly.

“My baby is so smart mh.”, daddy ruffled Lou’s hair.

Lou nodded happily.

That had been the early morning.

Back when everything had been fine and he had been foolish.

Lou had changed his mind by now.

This day was horrible.

Absolutely nothing would ever be able to safe this.

His high had plumaged down into deeper depths than… very deep depths.

Shut up! Don’t make him think right now!

He squirmed around in his daddy’s hold.

He had been carried around in circles for forever now already.

Because Lou just couldn’t stop crying.

It was weird. But after he had come down from his early morning high he had started bawling. And all because they had to put away the puzzle.

But it was so unfair. He had worked hard on it.

Now it was all gone.

It didn’t matter if he actually put his all onto it. It didn’t matter if he had done an amazing job. In the end of the day it was all thrown back into the same state it had been in before. It’s all useless.

Everything he does is useless.

Everything.

Why does he even try?

Why does he even do anything?

He can’t do this anymore.

More tears were starting to run down his face. He was tired. Crying was folter. But he couldn’t stop.

Nothing he ever did would be of importance or actually meaningful.

Useless.

All useless.

A waste of space.

Waste of resources.

With everything he’s got in his life someone else would have already been able to get the noble prize. Or end world hunger. Or get a cure for cancer. Or all three!

Maybe an immigrant child, a terminally ill kid, a terribly abused child, that didn’t ever get the opportunity because of circumstances.

And yet here he was. Lucky as all shit and nothing.

Because he didn’t know how to. And all he had were stupid excuses.

Stupid.

He couldn’t even make a puzzle last for longer than ten minutes.

He’s a shame, a humiliation to the human race.

He bawled into the others shirt.

And even now he’s wasting water just because he was such a god damn wimp.

After who knows how long, Lou had no tears to give anymore.

But still. Yes, this day wasn’t savable anymore.

It was getting dark but it was so god damn loud.

He was fuming.

Angry.

He couldn’t take it anymore.

Simply because the other two here were god damn stupid. Absolut brick heads. Lou hated them.

He hated every single one of them.

…of the two.

“Ouch, Louis! No scratching. We don’t want to hurt people, remember?”

No he absolutely didn’t.

It wasn’t important anyways.

Also the only thing that even got remotely close to ‘weapons’ he could use to make his frustration heard, were his fingernails.

So he scratched.

That was what the carer deserved.

Lou felt as if the room was too warm and too cold.

The heat in his stomach wasn’t helping.

He was just so angry.

It was so loud.

The only reason for that can only he those two. They were at fault for this!

Why else should he feel like this?!

It was because of those two!

He was tired. He was angry. He hated everything.

(
“And how did that make you feel?”

“Me? I don’t think that’s the point.”, Louis wants to add a ‘did you even listen to me’ but swallows it back down.

“I do think that’s the point. So? What were you feeling after that?”

“…I don’t know? Annoyed maybe?”

“And why were you annoyed?”

How was he supposed to know?!

“Just… annoyed.”

“Okay.”, she writes something down on the paper on her lap.

Louis shifts in his seat, directing his eyes to travel to the window next to him. The room was silent for a second. He could watch how the clouds in the sky were moving. A weird feeling.

“Anything else? How about in the situation. Was it annoying from the start or were you simply annoyed after?”

The hell?

“…after.”

“And during?”

“Angry I guess.”

“Okay.”, more scribbling from her side. Then she looks back up, fixating him with her gaze. “And that feeling of annoyance, was it directed at her or maybe at someone or something else?”

Louis stares. Stares at everything except for his therapist. Stares at the picture of those obscure bunnies in rainbow colors. Or at the shelf with stuffed animals and smart books and games he’s too old for already.

He opens his mouth and closes it again.

She patiently watches him.

“…maybe…”, he trails off. Unsure.

“It’s okay. Take your time.”

He’s trying damn it.

“Maybe it was at me.”

She nods, smiles, looks down, writes, looks back up. “Okay, very good. Why were you annoyed with yourself?”

“I-“
)

It’s been too long.

Lou stares up at the sky esk ceiling trying to calculate how long it’s been.

He’s going through how often he had gotten a bottle or how often he had been woken up but no matter how much he tried to wrack his brain it all just blurred together.

It felt as if he was awake again for the first time in months. Everything was far away. As if he just had the structure of his days but no actual memory of it all in his head.

He blinked, looking down at Lily and then back up. Now he focused on the mobile over his head.

Had he ever even looked at it?

Because looking at it now felt foreign, out of place. But still weirdly familiar.

It’s like walking in a hallway you are walking in every day, maybe from work, and for the first time in, what it feels like forever, you look up and see a clock. You have no memory of that clock. It sits there like it’s been there for as long as the wall stood there. But you have never seen the clock. When you ask someone they look at you like you’ve lost your mind.

‘That’s been there forever.’

And you ask ‘really?’.

Lou focuses on the figures. But he can barely make them out. He can only make out a star in the middle. Everything else looks weird from his angle.

He snaps his gaze back down, staring at Lily in his arms. Then at his arms. Then at his hands. Then at his fingers.

When did they cut his nails?

He stared at them some more.

Really short.

Not short in a sense of unnatural but just…really short.

It made sense they’d cut it eventually.

But had he been here long enough that they really needed to?

Better question: when had they done it?

It’s all foggy.

Sun was shining into the room.

He couldn’t even remember the early morning bottle.

He knew he had lived here for long weeks now. He knew that he had a bath every other day and a five day kindergarten and in the morning Len would brush his teeth and in the evening again. Factually he knew that.

Yet he couldn’t clearly remember it.

He knew it had happened.

He had no memory of it.

As if it hadn’t even been important to his brain.

As if it could just be erased like this with no consequences.

And maybe there really were no consequences for not caring about all that here.

“Hey there baby. How are we feeling today?”, Lou heard a coo above his head and before he could do anything a pacifier was pushed past his lips.

He gave it a suck.

Then he stopped.

It was slipping away again.

His conscious.

He almost spit out the pacifier. But he stopped himself. Holding it in his mouth and holding it as still as possible. As if it was a bomb that could go off any minute now.

“You had a hard few days mh.”, Lou was picked up. But he was too tired for this. Still to flabbergasted by his realization. His head pounding because of it.

He decided to hide in that soft fabric of the shirt he got pressed into.

But he couldn’t hide there for long.

Soon he was ripped away again, his throat making noises he would have been deeply embarrassed for some time ago.

Now the only thing he cared about was that the room was too bright.

And he got placed right into that light.

Since when could light hurt this much?

He squirmed away.

But got held in place.

The wipes that were used on his bottom were too cold.

He squirmed more.

His eyes pressed shut.

This was all a bit too much.

Can’t you just let him wake up fully first? He was already beginning to fall back into that hazy state.

He wanted to be able to think clear.

At least for a few minutes.

The frustration of it all made his head feel like it was ripping apart. He was bleeding out. Empty. But he didn’t want to be empty right now. He felt as if it was important to stay. Stay awake. Not just eyes open. Really awake.

A hand got pressed to his forehead. Pleasantly cold and bringing shadow over his eyes. But it pulled away again.

Disappointing.

Lou scowled.

The next thing he heard was an almost panicked call for Sabrina.

It hurt. It vibrated through the very depths of his skull.

It almost reminded him of something. He could taste the memory on his tongue…if you could say so.

A ridiculous memory. One he thought was weird and somehow funny. Yet he couldn’t actually seem to remember.

“There there, such a brave boy.”, Lou’s hair got stroked out of his face. His thoughts were slipping away from him again as he realized that that had been his daddy.

Lou felt split in half.

It was exhausting.

“Phew. Okay… that’s quite the temperature you have there young man.”, Sabrina whistled.

Lou supposed it were her cold hands that were running along his throat and jaw right now.

•••

“What do we do?”, Len was pacing around as if he’d just heard someone was about to die.

Any other time Sabrina would have laughed her ass off.

He was just too cute with that caring mind of his.

But it wasn’t any other time right now.

And Sabrina really didn’t have the mind for something like this currently.

Sabrina sighed.

No, currently she was regretting not having Len prepared for such a case without a solid reason to calm him.

But they were in a sterile environment and she hadn’t even caused any open wounds on her Loui. Also he wasn’t coming down from pain meds anymore. She just…

Shush.

No one say anything.

She thought for a bit. There’s only one logical answer to this her mind could come to.

She gave another sigh.

“Stay still for gods sake. It’s just a fever. Nothing else. I guess it’s just something mental that’s brought this on, if that’s anything to calm you down.”

“Mental?”, Len was still tapping his fingers over his arms. Switching from foot to foot.

Squirmy, aren’t we?

Sabrina rolled her eyes.

“Yes. We’ll just let him sweat it out and thats that. Don’t worry. And stay still! Fuck! I can’t concentrate like this! Also you are just making the baby antsy as well.”

“Sorry.”

Sabrina waved her hand around and then went to her data pad.

Loui baby had been so far regressed these past few days it hadn’t even been funny anymore. Just completely gone.

He had been her little perfect pride and joy.

Sometimes even bordering on actual baby. Like she’s talking infant stages.

Something she had been so happy about but also…infants were god damn exhausting.

It’s likely that his adult brain set in again, got confused and now here they had the consequences.

But it’s fine.

It’s a step into the right direction.

Good chances the fever will make him more clingy.

“We just have to keep him hydrated. And baby the shi- erm… just baby him a lot.”

Exhausted, Sabrina left the testing room.

Len could do this.

She was running over her data again when she got a notice that someone was here to talk to her.

Begrudgingly she went.

Fucking investor.

Think they fucking own the fucking place and the fucking world. Just cause they have a few tiny billions.

She rounded a corner towards the general area.

She stopped.

Ready, ohhhh more than ready to turn back around again.

There, not even anywhere near the place where visitors etcetera pp had to wait at, stood a suit with an entourage of five people behind him.

Sabrina was NOT in the fucking mood.

But sadly before she could make a sharp turn he had already spotted her and was moving towards her.

Shit.

“Ahhh miss Ecin! My absolute favorite! How’ve you been old friend?”

Old?

She’ll show him fucking old!

Also…friend?

Had she seen him before?

Maybe…or maybe not. She didn’t know. She sighed. She didn’t care. He had one of those common faces that fit about seventy percent of the population.

She was running out of fucks to give. And fucks were expensive these days, soo.

She forced a smile.

“What do you want?”

“I don’t want to waste your time!”

Then don’t.

“If you are here for my newest research, I’ll have to disappoint you. The presentation still needs a few weeks. Till then I won’t let anyone have early excess. Not even a rich fucker like you.”

“Actually, no. I couldn’t care less for that. However your thing… my, actually the thing over there has peaked my interest.”, the other points at something behind her and Sabrina turns.

There stood a pretty shy and still very antsy Len, tiptoeing around the place.

He probably had a question about Louis or something.

The suit is pointing at Len and Sabrina can’t help but beam with pride.

“I feel honored that I actually get to see him. Won’t you tell me more about him? I heard people describe him a ‘perfect lab human’. I wanted to express my interest. What a happy coincidence.”

Stupid fucker.

But Sabrina won’t pass off this opportunity.

She had wanted to brag about her baby to someone from outside for so long now!

“Sure…Of course! He’s my perfect creation! As my seventh I made sure to equip him with great strength, fast learning, I mean he learned how to drive a car in ten minutes in the parking lot and no one has ever been safer on the road! Also, I included a Hardware Programm that’ll prevent any and all not following of commands! He’s able to determine priorities which also prevents contradicting orders becoming a problem! So he can make smart decisions only restricted by my commands. He’s perfect, as I said!”

“… what I meant to bring across was my ‘interest’. Why not go into mass production. He seems great for all kinds of tedious work we as a superior kind are sick of. I, for example, would kill for a lab assistant like him. Think about it. I’m willing to pay.”, the suit pulled out a checkbook. “Just give me a number.”

“…Excuse you?”, Sabrina sucked in a breath. The audacity?! “There will only ever be one as perfect as my Len! How dare you indicate he’s reconstructible or… don’t you know his value is immeasurable?! You don’t even own a fraction of the money he’s worth!”

Never mind the fact that it was weird for him to know about Len in the first place. Or to be interested in him.

…knowing wasn’t that weird. He had featured in a little magazine article when he was fresh out of the lab. Sabrina now came to regret her past enthusiasm about him now.

Coincidence. Pah. That sounds more like envious rich man child that can’t help but want to be at the top. But all that without the work.

She’ll have to look into where he’s coming from and who he bribed to get access to her place.

The suit pulled a face.

“Alright then. Hopefully your high horse will one day be high enough for you. Here’s my card in case you change your mind.”

As soon as the fucker and his entourage were gone Sabrina had already ripped the card into shreds.

What a cocky and greedy bastard.

Len is hers. Only hers. He’s her perfect creation. Not anyone else’s.

She’s the god of her own creations.

“Sabrina?”

“What?!”, she whipped around, fuming. Then she stopped when she saw Len’s worried face.

“Ah. What’s the matter?”, she brushed some…yeah some dust off of her white lab coat.

Fucker really just threw her out of her very own lane.

“Louis… he’s erm… he’s pushing me away when I want to soothe him but he also cries when I pull away and-“, okay that’s a very panicked lab rat right there.

“I see. Okay okay, go back, I’ll be there in a few.”

Fuuuck.

•••

(
“If you don’t have the energy, maybe just don’t go.”

Okay, it’s official, the therapist is the crazy one.

Louis shook his head.

He knew she was a little… off the road. Let’s call her that. A little air headed maybe.

But what the fuck?

He can’t just quit like this.

Now he realized she had lost all touch to reality.

Just ‘not go’?!

That wasn’t even an option!

That wasn’t how the game was played!

That’s not compatible with the rules!

He stared at her.

“What?”, he finally uttered.

“Well, the way I see it, if you are sick, you are sick. It doesn’t matter if it’s physically or mentally. Take a break when you need one. That’s all I’m saying.”

“That’s not how this works.”

“I think it’s exactly how it works. Please think about that.”

Louis scoffed.

She had lost her mind.
)

Grumpily Lou opened his eyes. The room pleasantly dark.

He liked it.

He pressed his Lily to his face. It’s been a while since he last thought, or rather, dreamed about his therapist in this case.

He wondered what she was doing right now.

He didn’t even know why.

She just came to mind right now.

It’s been years since he last saw her.

Just before his twenty first birthday had been the last time.

Because he became too old.

And because it was expensive, he never got to go to another one.

He had liked her.

But he got too old.

Too old.

He flinched, automatically wanting to push Lily away but also pull her closer.

He was sweaty.

Disgusting.

He wanted daddy to make it better.

He cried.

He was a good actor.

A copy cat.

He didn’t deserve it, that daddy was there to soothe him in the next second.

He was a lier.

Chapter Text

It blurred together.

Not just the days. Not just the minutes. Even the touches and words and voices.

When he was asked something and he wanted to answer, it took him hours to realize that the question had actually been from yesterday.

His brain hurt.

Not his head.

His brain.

He had decided that it was his brain.

Being split apart wasn’t nice.

Being warm wasn’t nice.

But they kept him under a new thick blanket.

He was sweating a lot.

He also got a way more frequent bath every who-knows now.

But they were more comfortable than the thick blanket.

They cooled him down.

But when daddy put him down and placed that blanket over him, swaddled him, cooed at him, Lou felt so…small. Too small. But when he felt small it all felt so much worse. The heat, the brain ache, everything.

So he pulled away from daddy.

Even though that hurt almost just as much.

It was confusing.

His brain wanted to feel so small. To have daddy kiss it better.

But his brain also knew that daddy couldn’t kiss it better and that when feeling so tiny everything felt so much more intense.

His brain wasn’t helpful.

He felt unable to fall back into feeling so small that his brain stopped racing like a race car.

He wanted that back.

He missed floating in the space in between.

Missed only existing in a moment. Instead he was all over the place and still nowhere.

He didn’t know how much he had cried or even gotten sick from the crying. It just blurred together.

But daddy was always there.

Even when Lou pushed him away.

But that only made him feel worse.

It was a nightmare.

He wasn’t even a baby. Just a very good actor. But daddy didn’t know the difference. Daddy loved him as a baby.

Daddy loved him.

…as a baby.

Just… just that he wasn’t!

He was a lier. A bad bad lier.

A bad boy, if you so will.

Even though daddy called him ‘good’ and brave and stuff…

Daddy didn’t love him.

Not ‘him’.

And that hurt.

•••

“Oh wow. Is…is everything alright?”, Len carefully approached his brother who was hunched over in the corner of the room.

“Y-yeah. It’s fine. It’s all fine. All good.”, he sniffed and Len furrowed his brows. Then his eyes widened in understanding.

“She pulled you?”, he sat down beside number three and patted his back almost mechanical.

Three nodded.

“Oh. Sorry.”

“It’s fine. You don’t have to. You don’t understand this anyway. You are mister perfect after all.”

“What do mean? Come on three!”, Len gave his brother a pout.

Three sighed deeply.

“Something with my way of working ‘clashed’ with those humans. I don’t get it. I did everything like instructed. I thought I was finally perfect. But I guess I’m still just good old defect number three. The dumb social studies A.I... Sabrina is probably gonna dispose of me like number six.”, he sniffed again.

“Three, six had a serious and dangerous defect! And you aren’t a traditional A.I.”, Len supplied unhelpfully. He didn’t know how to cheer his brother back up. He had never seen him this crushed. And stuff like him being pulled out of studies happened more often than actual studies. He was very unused to his brother being in such a weird mood.

“Wish I was.”, he mumbled “A.I can’t do stuff wrong. Because it can think. I can’t even do that.”

“A.I can’t think.”, Len supplied…again. Unhelpfully. He really was better at handling his baby…hopefully?

…

Wait.

What if he wasn’t?!

He took a fast step back from that train of thought.

Focus!

“Come on! Your time will come!”, he smiled at his brother.

Three sniffed in defiance. His lips going out into a pout.

Ah!

Len had an idea!

He ruffled his brothers hair and the other gave a dry smile.

Success!

…or was it?

Ehhhh. This is exhausting.

Three stood back up, swatting Len’s hands away.

“It’s fine, it’s fine. Go back to your thing, since it’s going so well for you.”

“Thing? …Oh! You mean Louis? He’s not a thing! He’s a baby!…mhhh…and I guess…wait I read that somewhere! He’s also…wait okay how was that again? He’s my baby…You are my brother. Then he’s your…ne…nie…n-AH! Nephew! He’s your nephew! Not a ‘thing’!”

It didn’t look like three was even listening anymore. He just grumbled something about ‘mister perfect’ and ‘go to do your job’. Len pouted. It had taken him a great deal of effort to remember that word!

But oh well. Len shrugged. He really did have to return to his baby as soon as possible!

So he quickly threw in his supplements, on a clean shirt without baby spit on it and ran back to the nursery.

When he looked at that sweet and scrunched up face of his still sleeping baby, he had already pushed the encounter he had just had with his brother to the far back of his mind.

•••

(
“Louis Tember! You are a lucky boy, you know that? Miss Ecin-“

“Doctor.”

“What?”, the person responsible for all the shit students at this shit university of medicine looked at the weird woman next to him. The woman pulled a face.

“It’s doctor Ecin.”

“Ah! I apologize! Anyway. Miss doctor Ecin has offered to take you under her wing even after all the things you did! Isn’t that nice?”

Doctor Ecin pulled a face and Louis recoiled.

‘All the things you did’?!

The stealing. Sure. Fine. Whatever.

That was true.

But the rest?!

The rest was bullshit! He hadn’t done the stuff they were trying to back list him for!

He eyed the doctor suspiciously.

She did that.

He just knew it.

But he bit his tongue.

His hands were trembling from the mere fact of standing there. In that weirdly cluttered office. He didn’t trust his voice.

“She’s giving you a second chance. And even in a lucrative facility like this. Studying there, and working there will be good for you. We only want to help you get back onto the right track after all. Now, what do you say?”

Louis squirmed. He didn’t have much of an option. Did he?

If he declined he was black listed and everything he had worked for was gone.

His plan a was already ruined by her. Now plan b.

It’s all gone.

It didn’t matter how much he had worked for this.

It never mattered.

It was never enough.

So he agreed.

Licking her boots. He felt like a dog when he first started.

Doctor Ecin was cynical and made fun of him constantly.

But Lou learned fast that if he adapted to her behavior, treated her the way she did him, then she treated him better. Almost like an equal.

That’s how he rose.
)

Talking with Jassy after his horrible nap time was kind of helping.

Lou really liked her and was extremely thankful to have her.

She never answered but it was just nice to have someone that wasn’t daddy or Sabrina.

And he also didn’t really ‘talk’, it was more of a…erm…honestly he didn’t know.

But it was nice.

Currently they were…erm…she was building a tower with blocks and Lou was… encouraging her…yes…no? Yeah.

Blocks are nice.

Daddy likes it when Lou plays with blocks.

Then he’s a good Loui.

And he himself just likes stacking them. They were all the same shape. The only color difference was in the letters on them. They stacked nicely into even walls and towers.

Lou only ever build castles with them together with Jassy.

With daddy he mostly wrote out words with the letters. In the last few days that’s been kind of hard though.

Probably because of his brain being so broken.

Words are too complicated anyways. Who invents something stupid like that?

But building with them together with Jassy?

That wasn’t complicated.

Also, when he had them stacked, they could look as organized as he wanted. He had all the control. And they were clean. Uniform.

Perfect.

An easy world to get submerged into.

His brain quieting down.

His brain was also feeling better. He had been a little silly. Because he obviously was the famous actor Lou but he also was daddy’s baby.

Silly Loui.

He looked up from his castle and stared at jassy’s bouncing locks. They were kept short but still were bouncing around whenever she shook her head around. Their pretty black color almost shining a little blue in the lighting.

He really really liked her.

He stared at her pretty dark eyes and her teddy bear that she currently placed onto the structure she had build with her blocks.

He thinks her eyes are black. But that’s stupid. There are no black eyes in the world. But they were pretty.

He quickly looked down onto his lap when she looked up.

Ah! Right! Lily also really liked Jassy’s bear! Yes. But Lily was very embarrassed about that so she needed world famous actor Lou to help her out.

And Lou was just an amazing dude like this. He can’t not help a friend in need.

Yes.

Jassy giggled and Loui found himself doing the same.

“Oh no, no Baby. Yuck. Don’t do that. That’s dangerous!”, daddy grabbed at Lou’s hand and it was only then that he realized that the corner of one of his blocks was in his mouth.

Oh.

He blushed, turning away from Jassy and into his daddy.

That was embarrassing.

“Oh it’s okay Loui. You are just a baby! It’s my responsibility as your daddy to not let that happen. So don’t worry your pretty little head.”, daddy kissed him onto his cheek and then his forehead and then the other cheek and all over and everywhere.

Lou giggled more.

He was ticklish! That was unfair!

He gave his best pout but eventually cracked and still gave his daddy a big smile.

Jassy cooed in the background.

“Daddy thinks it’s time for a bottle. Does my baby want a bottle?”

A bottle? Now?

But he was playing!

What would Jassy think if she saw that?!

Lou grew wide eyed. He shook his head so fast he almost got whiplash.

“Nwo buttle.”, ah damn. Where did his fingers come from all of a sudden? He quickly pulled them out of his mouth, smacking his lips.

“Yes bottle. Tiny baby’s like you need their bottles at set times.”

“No!”, he whined. He was making an executive decision right now! Not in front of Jassy!

“Why not baby?”, daddy looked at Lou with those sad eyes.

That’s mean.

That’s very mean.

Lou always felt funny when daddy looked at him like this. He scrunched up his face. He didn’t want to make daddy sad. He would already make him sad enough if he realized that Lou was just an amazing actor and no baby.

“Come on baby. If you can’t tell me, daddy can’t help you.”, he hummed while taking Lou into a hug. Lou sniffled a little. His nose runny. Maybe he caught a cold?

After some internal struggling he pointed at Jassy.

Daddy made a soft sound.

“Ohh you don’t want to when we are in front of your friend?”, he asked, looking deeeply into Lou’s eyes. Lou squirmed but nodded.

A bright smile broke out of daddy as he started to kiss Lou all over again before letting off of him and standing up.

Loui whined at the loss of contact.

Mean.

“You are adorable baby. You don’t have to be embarrassed! Really!”, daddy was walking away and clicking something but Lou didn’t feel so good being left alone on the ground. And embarrassed.

So he turned to look at Lily to save him.

She didn’t.

Traitor.

Then daddy came back.

The well known bottle in hand. When did he bring that?

…wait…he had went away while Lou had had his play-erm meeting with Jassy?!

He looked at his daddy with fear and surprise.

He’s also a traitor.

Behold, Lou the great has spoken!

All traitors he says.

“You don’t have to be embarrassed baby! Look! Jassy doesn’t care either! And since she’s just as small and tiny as you sweetheart, she also needs her bottle.”, daddy was hugging and supporting Lou into a hug against his chest while also pointing towards Jassy.

Lou followed his finger and … oh.

She really was having a bottle.

Mh.

Maybe…mh.

Mh.

Lou thought long and hard, staring at her throat bobbing while sucking at the baby bottle.

Her hands covered by mittens now tightly grabbed around it. She was more successful at grabbing the blocks with those pink mittens than grabbing the bottle. It slipped around a little.

Maybe…if she drank from a bottle as well…and well this is Jassy. Jassy is cool. Maybe it’s not embarrassing to have his bottle in front of her?

“Come on baby.”, daddy gently pulled Loui’s finger away from his mouth.

Meanie.

The nipple of the bottle was pressed against his lips and Lou obediently parted them. His eyes never leaving Jassy.

If she stopped he’d also stop. That was his decision! Yes. That’s reasonable. Very very reasonable.

Good Loui.

He stared at every little move Jassy made while melting into his daddy’s chest. A pleasant calmness and silence engulfed him.

He loved play dates with Jassy.

But only because she’s cool! That’s all!

“There there. My good baby boy. Such a perfect boy. Drinking so well.”

Lou hummed a little while he blinked his eyes. They were getting soo heavy.

Opening them was getting harder.

But he still wanted to continue playing with Jassy.

Just a little!

Only five more minutes!

He struggled a little, trying to squirm to wake himself back up again.

Daddy shushed him, stroking his head in a calming way. Way too calming.

So that was counterproductive.

But maybe if he closed his eyes for just a little, he could trick his brain into thinking that he had really slept? Then he could spend more time with Jassy.

He closed his eyes.

One.

Two.

Three.

…

Erm…

No wait…

Six.

Ah he couldn’t concentrate like this.

It probably was ten seconds now.

Ten.

He forced his eyes back open. The light blending him and he closed them back on reflex.

And fell asleep.

•••

Len loved seeing his baby interact with Jassy.

Since it seemed like his Louis was having trouble, Len figured having someone just like him show him again how very much okay it was to be a baby might help.

After all Lou hadn’t been able to co-play with Jasmin for some days now. He had been way too feverish and Len hadn’t wanted to take the risk.

What if his baby got so overwhelmed to the point of throwing up again?!

But this morning his temperature had dropped a little. Sabrina had encouraged the idea. She had been pressuring Len to try it from the very first day Louis had been sick but… Len really hadn’t wanted to risk it.

But it had been a good idea.

Maybe Len was just a little too careful?

And it was so amazing to finally see his baby giggle so freely again!

He was clapping, playing, babbling, you name it. Len felt a rush of happy emotions at seeing his baby like this again.

Also he finally accepted Len’s affection again. He didn’t flinch away to start crying at him with those sad, yearning and confused eyes.

Having his baby lay limply in his arms while he holds a half empty bottle.

There was that trust that made Len proud again.

He had felt a sense of failure these last few days.

Not being able to help his baby with his mood swings and then getting overwhelmed by his baby getting sick.

He sighed quietly to himself, kissing his baby’s head. His softly curled hair tickling him in his nose.

He was a lacking daddy.

But he is determined! He’ll become the absolute best daddy in the whole world for his baby! He won’t disappoint Louis ever again.

Never.

His baby doesn’t deserve that.

He’ll become such a perfect daddy that Sabrina will regret not making him caregiver earlier. She’ll regret not starting this sooner.

His baby won’t ever look at him with those sad eyes again.

Louis whined in his sleep and Len tightened his grip on him.

He’ll take great care of him for as long as this arrangement will last.

Hopefully forever and ever.

He gently heaved his baby into his arms, standing up flawlessly and flicking the projector off.

Sabrina nodded approvingly from the side, her glasses hanging from the tip of her nose as she continued to write something down. A pleased hum leaving her.

“That’s good. Very good. Almost there.”, she muttered. Her eyes going up to lovingly stare at Len’s baby.

“He’s a good boy.”, Len whispered with a bright smile.

Sabrina nodded, pushing her glasses up again.

“A very good one.”, she clicked her tongue “Good Job Baby.”, she ruffled Len’s hair before opening the door of the room for them to go back to the nursery.

“I think he’s almost ready.”

“Of course he is! He’s perfect.”, Len beamed. Happy with the praise.

Sabrina made a Noise with her mouth and went off into a different direction.

Len, instead of placing the baby into his crib, decided he needed more contact with his Loui. So he sat down onto the rocking chair, arranging Louis together with the fleece blanket and his Lily so he’d be comfortable.

Just for a little.

Chapter Text

•••

(
“Well now don’t be so sad! Look, he’ll probably go to heaven! Isn’t that exciting? Come on, don’t cry.”, Sabrina singsonged while she adjusted some weird, stiff clothes on Len.

She wasn’t even looking at the devastated number six behind her.

Len cocked his head.

“What’s the matter?”, he asked. Six looked down, not meeting his gaze.

Sabrina clicked her tongue.

“Bennie is having problems with his previous conditions. We already knew, now don’t act like this.”, she waved her hand into six’s direction.

Ah, Bennie.

Wasn’t that the baby six took care of now after the last ‘left’?

Yeah…something along those lines. But Len didn’t know a lot about him.

Six stopped talking much about their babies after the first time baby got exchanged.

But Len knew from Sabrina that Bennie had some kind of medical condition and had ‘willingly agreed to this to pay for medications’.

But honestly Len didn’t really understand this. If he was a baby, why should he do stuff for money? Babies didn’t know about money, did they?

This was just too high for him, so he stayed out of it.

Sabrina knew what she was doing after all.

“But-“, there was a weird crack in six’s voice.

“Shush. Stop. It. You are being dramatic. Stop making everything about yourself.”, she pointed at the door behind them “Go back. Len has a big day today. His first ‘mission’…mhhh…Maybe you can give him some inside on how to take care of a man child. Make yourself useful, would you?”
)

“Len!”, Sabrina’s hard voice brought Len back to reality.

“Mh?”, he blinked, his eyes heavy.

“I know you love to cuddle with the baby. I have absolutely no problem with that okay? It seems like it’s furthering. But I swear to fuck that if I catch you sleeping with the baby in the rocking chair one more time I’ll-“, she stops, her glare more than telling.

“Sorry.”, Len gives a light smile.

He knew it wasn’t good to not have the baby sleep in his crib. That part of the routine was important. But he just couldn’t help it!

“Don’t. You know, actions speak louder than words.”, she lifts an eyebrow and Len deflated a little.

His hand going up to brush through his baby’s brown hair. The motion always calms him down a lot. Loui nuzzled into Len’s chest, a little bit of drool dripping onto the fabric.

•••

He’s been doing this shit for weeks now!

God.

Sabrina rolled her eyes.

Maybe Len was just too soft. Or selfish? Nah he wasn’t capable of the later.

But even then, he was still her perfect creation. Sabrina smiled. Her babies were so cute.

If drooling, crying or repenting.

A pouting Len was adorable.

She just had a kind of soft spot for her Loui and Len! Her double Ls.

Such good little things, helping her make the world a better place. Helping her in realizing her plans.

She loved them for it.

Anyways.

She currently had moved back out of the nursery and back to the kindergarten room.

Len would come any minute now.

Well…after he fed the baby and shit.

Okayyyyy.

It’s been long enough!

Sabrina had had to wait long enough for this!

She didn’t care about how Loui has been absolutely perfect again these past few days.

She had been so excited to start a new game!

And it’s been fucking weeks.

She feels like she played herself with this. Fucking hell.

Regardless.

Now’s the time of times!

Although, no, wait. The time of times will be when she reached her goal.

It’s the time of the meantime!

Hehe.

Sabrina spun around into a little pirouette while they build up the construct she’s been excited to show Loui for weeks and months now!

While she would have absolutely thrived off of seeing Louis’s disgusted face at her idea, she’s almost equally as excited about seeing the baby happy about the movement again.

Albeit she’d barely be as excited as she would have been thriving.

She pushed out air through her nose.

Oh well!

It’ll be fun! That’s what counts!

Having fun.

Entertainment.

A bouncer for the baby.

•••

Oh god.

Oh god!

He can jump.

He can jump!

Look at Lou go!

Its embarrassing yes, okay, blah blah, all that difficult mental stuff that’s supposed to make him feel bad but he doesn’t care about that stupid buggy big voice in his head right now!

He can moove!!!

Like really move!

Uwaaaa!

He threw his legs back down towards the ground. The movement made him shoot back up and he whipped around.

Up.

Down.

Up.

Down.

His hair fell into his eyes every time he went back up.

But it flew back into the air when he went down.

It was funny and the sensation of falling made his stomach twist and flutter around. It tickled and he laughed.

He was even able to completely blend out the other two people in the room.

Lily was watching him from daddy’s arms.

He really wished she could also move around with him here! She would have a lot of fun! But daddy said it was too dangerous…

He pushed himself up from the ground again. The thought instantly gone again.

The feeling of being able to move was intoxicating. Addicting. It made his brain go haywire and turned his mood right back up.

He hadn’t really dared to move his legs a lot after…’that’ incident.

He shuttered just thinking about it and whipped around some more to make the feeling disappear.

But daddy had said this was okay so it was okay now. Lou trusted him.

No wait! He-…erm…at least in that department!

Only because he had foreseen the cramps from back then. Because he had warned Lou and he hadn’t listened. So now he listens!

That’s all.

He’s Lou, the world famous actor after all! This is part of his role!

He takes his job just sooooo seriously! Every good actor gives his role his all! …did that make sense? Eh…

Isn’t it…doesn’t it have a name as well?

Because it IS a thing! It is!!

He bounced around to try and get his brain to clear up. His hands tipping around the plastic in front of him. Some toy he supposes…hey-

It turns! He does it again while happily kicking his legs.

Yes, this is very much helping him with thinking.

Mhhhhh.

Ah!

Method acting!

That’s it! See? It’s a thing!

That’s exactly what he does. And he’s damn good at it! Hehe.

He makes the toy turn again. Different colors appearing and disappearing and appearing and-

“Hi there baby.”, daddy cooed at him and Lou blinked up.

“Are you having fun?”

“Mhm”, Loui hums, one millisecond he’s sooo much smaller than daddy and the next he actually reaches his chest and even further!

Its funny!

He laughs.

…professionally mind you. Very professional fun.

He’s just amazing.

He stretches his arms out for Lily. Daddy chuckles.

“I’m sorry baby, I think you are playing a little too ruffly for your Misses foxy. What if she falls?”

“Won’t.”, Lou counters instantly. Obviously she won’t.

‘Lou isn’t a baby that just randomly drops stuff! He’s quite the big boy!’

He telepathically tried to tell his daddy through big, manipulative eyes.

Daddy shakes his head though. His warm hand ruffling Loui’s hair and Loui reaches up to catch the hand.

Its fruitless. Even when he manages to hold onto it, daddy’s still able to move freely. Lou is just no match for him.

When daddy finally decides to have merci on his hair, he pulls something out of thin air and sticks it onto Lou’s head.

Lou shakes around, trying to get rid of the weird pressing feeling onto his scalp.

He stops when he realizes that his hair had stopped flopping around.

He blinks, grabbing at his head and touching something hard.

He pulls it down.

A black headband in his fist now.

He looks up at daddy who is now trying to pry it back out Lou’s grip.

Oh.

Daddy’s black hair was coming loose.

Now that’s not right.

Lou reached out to try and brush daddy’s hair back again but the other moved away with a chuckle and happy smile.

Lou scowled.

“Baby, isn’t it annoying to have to fight with your hair like this? Come on, keep this on for now mh.”, daddy coaxed

Its not like Loui can really fight him…unfair.

So, very reluctantly, he let’s daddy place the headband back on his head.

“Maybe we have to cut it.”, Sabrina hummed as she moved closer.

Lou huffed.

Why where they all up in his face now? He just wanted to move around!

Every good actor has to train his muscles, you know?!

The audacity?!

He jumped a little to demonstrate his frustration but a little laugh escaped him against his will at the feeling of it.

Now he’s pouting with himself.

Stupid.

“Mh. But he’s also really cute with my headband.”, daddy smiles at Lou, a finger booping Lou’s nose.

Sabrina looked at them both and…actually laughed?

Laughing.

Like…like laughing like daddy did?

Lou was so shocked he actually stopped pouting with himself.

She only laughed the way she usually does. She never laughs like daddy.

“And what are we gonna do with your hair then?”, she smiles at daddy. Her hand now ruffling daddy’s hair.

Lou’s eyes grew wide.

Why was mommy being weird? Was she broken?

…

No… or was she?

No.

She had been weirdly normal before, Loui reminded himself.

…when was that?

Mhhh…usually when Lou was behaving really well…wasn’t it? And also sometimes when Lou didn’t really remember much.

It had still caught him off guard.

“Maybe we could cut mine.”

And there goes a normal laughing mommy again.

Sabrina’s smile drops instantly, her back straightens.

Lou holds his breath.

He didn’t know what daddy did wrong but suddenly Sabrina looked absolutely pissed. There she was again.

Lou didn’t know if he was relieved or scared shitless.

What if she decided that Lou had earned himself a strike because he didn’t give daddy the headband back or something?!

“No. Len. Look at me.”, she stared at him and daddy moved away from Lou a little bit.

“You are perfection. For you to indicate anything else-“, she took a deep breath, breaking back out into one of those smiles Lou was well used of her.

She turned back to Lou.

“There there. We should go cut your hair tomorrow! Isn’t that exciting baby?! And now look at this silly daddy! Isn’t he so silly to want to change something on himself?”

Lou hesitated a little before slowly nodding.

Sabrina seemed satisfied with that and suddenly it all just continued as if nothing ever happened.

Well, Lou won’t complain. At least he gets to move!

Some hours later Lou stares at a very rude intruder in his crib.

A very rude and very good for nothing, stupid bunny plush.

How dare it?!

Carefully he shifted Lily in a way she didn’t have to look at the monstrosity. He stuck out his tongue towards it to show it just how unwelcome it was.

He already had a plushy! Lily!

He had just had his nap and then he opened his eyes and bam! There it was! The audacity?!

He was of course aware of the fact that this…thing…was a reward. But he had long lost the understanding of what a reward even was. When at the start of this he could at least mostly guess pretty easily, now he had no damn clue what he had done right to get something.

He figured it was just because he hasn’t gotten a strike in a long time now.

But still.

Bah.

With his tippytoes he pushed the bunny as far away from Lily and himself as he could. Careful not to touch it more than necessary.

What if Lily got the wrong idea?

No no. That won’t do.

Together with Lily he shimmied to the far corner of the crib, squeezing into it as if his life depended on a good hiding spot that didn’t exist.

The bars dug into his back securely and he heavily leaned into them. The fingers of his free hand kneading the baby blue blanked that was still half draped over him.

He continued to glare at the soft toy.

Its empty eyes glared back.

Lou shivered, pressing Lily into his chest for emotional support.

Needless to say, he was not a happy camper.

Oh god.

Oh no.

Lou had moved too much on the soft mattress it seems. The bunny swayed from side to side. Almost as if it was moving towards him.

Then it fell face first into the crib.

The abrupt movement send a sudden twitch of his whole body into motion and Lou had not anticipated that.

Why was his body failing him like this?

He wasn’t scared of the damn bunny!

It’s a plushy!

But god knows, that damn body movement he had no control over just now had startled him to hell and back.

No no no.

He took a deep breath.

He did not scare himself.

He did not scare himself.

He did not-

Was that the door?!

Is that-

“Daddy!”, Loui shuffled himself as fast as possible towards the other while the dam broke.

Those damn stupid good for nothing bars are in the way!

Daddy stopped in his step. Not coming closer for what seemed like forever before he finally bolted forwards to scoop Loui up into his arms.

•••

Len had never been happier.

And that was extremely hard considering that he could look at this perfect little baby every day.

But he didn’t get to hear his baby calling him daddy ever day!

His baby had called him daddy the moment he had stepped into the room and the best thing was, he didn’t even seems to realize it!

Granted, Len would be even happier if Loui had called him daddy when he was happy and not in obvious despair like right now.

But still.

The fact that his baby boy had called out to him like this while in distress was making his heart pound with pride.

He was quick to scoop Louis up into a tight hug.

The crying gradually going over into whimpering and hiccups.

His poor baby.

Len walked around while soothing the poor thing.

“What’s the matter baby? Did you have a bad dream?”, he hummed gently as to not startle the very exhausted looking bub.

Louis shook his head before burying it in Len’s sweater. Snot and tears dampening the fabric as the baby shook.

Len kissed the top of his baby’s head.

Suddenly he felt bad for being happy. His baby was obviously hurting somehow…

“Come on baby. If you don’t tell daddy what’s wrong, daddy can’t fix it.”, he whipped them around a bit to try and settle Louis some more.

Slowly his baby steered again and his little pudgy hand pointed at the crib.

“What is there mh.”

Len moved towards it to look for anything that could have caused such a strong reaction.

He expected maybe a feather from the bedding to have pulled out and scratched his skin or a spider to sit in a corner. After all they had aired out the nursery a little while back.

Who knows, maybe something snuck in? Even if that was highly unlikely.

But no.

It was none of those things.

All he saw was the crinkled blanked, Lily and the new bunny.

He furrowed his brows.

“It wasn’t a nightmare?”

Louis shook his head.

Len cupped his baby’s head from behind to place Loui’s ear over his own heart.

That usually calmed him down a lot.

He hummed some more.

“Was there a monster?”, he tried to get creative.

Louis stopped and thought a little.

Then he nodded.

Okay. That’s something!

“Where is it? Come on baby, I know you can do it. Daddy will protect you.”

Louis pointed at the crib again.

“Mh. What does the monster look like?”

“Bunny.”

“Bunny?”, Len was confused. He looked back down and his eyes landed on the bunny plush.

“You mean your new bunny? Is the bunny the monster?”

Louis hiccuped and nodded, his fingers wandering into his mouth.

“Oh bad bad bunny. Don’t scare my baby like this! I told you you were supposed to be nice and protect him!”, Len started to scold the soft toy.

Slowly, after Len got incredibly more creative than he knew he could get himself, Louis uncurled himself a little. His huge blue eyes swimming with tears blinking up and Len.

His poor baby.

It probably scared him that something new appeared out of the blue.

He gave his baby a kiss.

“Very good job telling me! Daddy’s so so proud of you!”

Len chuckled when Loui’s head grew red at the praise. He’s so adorable Len could just hold him like this forever!

Maybe he could sneak in one little contact nap with the baby before Sabrina reprimands him again?

He snatches the blanket, Lily and a pacifier.

•••

“You know what? Work with the assistance a little why don’t you?”, Sabrina groaned at her lab rat. Number three may just need some more on hand experience? Running after the people that just did whatever anyone asked of them might help?

Sabrina was at a loss with that one.

Luckily she had Len.

So she really didn’t need to care too much about three failing at some stuff.

She clicked her tongue.

“Okay! I can do that! Thank you!”, the lab rat run off after one of the people Sabrina had just talked about arrived.

She looked back at her calendar. Goosebumps washing over her as she watched that little red circle around the little day on the little month in the calendar.

She half saw it moving, getting bigger, dancing around and scooting father towards the present.

It stayed in place but time was relative.

Soon.

She licked her cracked lips.

She had so much to prepare. But by god she’ll finally-

Who’s laughing there?!

Who dares interrupt-

…oh. Wait it’s just her.

Sabrina giggled some more.

Finally!

And all thanks to her perfect babies!

She’ll have to give Loui a lot more rewards. The more the merrier! The more the deeper he’ll probably get!

The deeper the better.

The more guarantee.

If Loui baby ruins this for her-

She took a deep breath. No no. She planned everything out. No one and nothing can ruin this for her now!

Never.

Hehe.

She’s a genius after all!

The mommy of a perfect subject. A perfect plan. A perfect ideal. A perfect-

Perfect.

Its all perfect.

Happily she finished up what she had been doing and ventured back into the nursery.

She wasn’t even mad at seeing Len and Loui sprawled out on the rocking chair again. Breathing in sync.

•••

Chapter Text

Daddy likes it when Loui plays with his toys.

That’s the reason Lou is currently trying really hard to figure out the right way to play with little horse figures.

He just can’t seem to find it.

This is gonna be a problem.

He fidgets, constantly glancing over at daddy and mo-…the smart home assistant.

He needs to get a grip!

What if daddy figures out he lied? He sharply bites his lower lip.

Because he is a lier. He’s a good actor.

But daddy doesn’t like lying.

Lou has thought about that fact long and hard. He’s already in too deep. He curses himself from…when did he start acting? He doesn’t know… well, from back then, anyway.

Of course, daddy is very understanding… so if Lou gave in and told him and explained why he lied maybe… but then he’d be met with those eyes. Disappointed. Hurt. Maybe even with tears? He couldn’t let that happen. His stomach felt all squirmy when he thought about it.

“What’s the matter baby?”

Loui flinched at daddy’s voice right next to his ear. Did he think out loud?! His hand went up to his mouth but he touched plastic. The pacifier. Good. No slip-ups.

He turned towards daddy’s chest. Hiding to eliminate the chance of daddy seeing his guilty face.

The paci bobbing up and down as he sucked on it.

“Aw honey…what’s wrong mh?”, daddy lifted Loui up to make him sit on his lap. Loui didn’t protest, nuzzling into the other as he tried to come up with a good…cover? excuse?…reason.

After a while he just shrugged.

Daddy placed a gentle kiss on top of his head.

“There, there. Just a weird day mh. It’s okay.”

Daddy patted his bottom before effortlessly standing up with Lou in his arms.

“I think someone needs a diaper change.”, he smiles as he places him on the changing table.

He hadn’t even realized that he peed. Oh.

Well it’s nothing new. But he hadn’t eve felt anything wet. If he didn’t have daddy…he realizes doesn't trust himself to stay properly functioning without him.

“Hold onto her for a bit for me, okay? We don’t want her to feel lonely.”

And Loui gladly accepted Lily into his arms to press her into his face.

Daddy, as always, is very quick. His touch light and gentle over Lou’s genitals.

If only those wipes weren’t so cold.

He shivers.

But then it’s already over with, he’s squeaky clean and daddy snaps the new diaper shut, patting Loui’s belly.

“Such a good boy for me.”

Lou smiles into Lily’s fur.

More squirmy feelings. But good this time. And some guilt. But… he’ll sort that out later.

“There you go.”, daddy lifted Lou back into his arms to bring them both back to the ponies.

“Loui baby?”, m-the home assistant lowered herself to face them both. Now the horses are in between them.

She points at one of the horses after she’s settled and looks back at Lou.

“Can you tell mommy what color that is?”

Lou blinks perplexed.

What does she mean ‘color’?

He looks back down that the toy. Lily tightly in his arms and daddy’s hand brushing over Lou’s hair.

“Bown.”, he says, realizing that the paci is slurring his speech.

Mommy nods.

“Very good. And this one?”, she points at the other.

…Lou cocks his head. It’s…blond? Are there blond horses? Are they called blond? Or is blond just something humans can have?

He concentrates hard but when he realizes that the silence was stretching on for too long already he just whispers “bond.”, again, the teat of the paci restricting the movement of his tongue.

“Blond?”, she gives him a crooked smile. “Well, Haflinger are called the blond horses from South Tyrol, so I guess you are right baby.”

Phew.

Lou glances at daddy who is smiling widely at him.

“And this?”, she points at the last one.

This time he pulls the paci out of his mouth while answering “Grey!”, because well, he knew that one!

She tutted, her mouth going up into a wide smile as she leans over to ruffle his hair.

“Very close Loui but it’s a cremello.”

A cre-what?!

Lou huffs.

“Hey, don’t pout baby, its okay! You are just an infant. Thats why I have to teach you okay? Good job Loui.”

Oh.

…mh.

Okay.

Loui blinks at her.

“Cemeo.”, he tries. But that damn paci was back in his mouth! The audacity?! He pouts and buries his face in Lily’s fur when daddy laughs at him.

There’s a short silence for him to readjust and come out of his hiding spot before mommy speaks again.

“How many horses do we have, what do you say Loui?”

He looks around.

The brown.

One.

The…blond.

Two.

He stared at the other one. The…ce…crème o… something.

Three.

He holds up three fingers when he can’t spot a forth horse. He’s over this speaking thing.

“Very good baby!”

“My smart boy.”, daddy chimes in as well.

Loui can feel his head getting hot from the praise. He’s probably blushing right now.

“Do you know what horses do?”, mommy continues.

Why does she have so many questions today? Loui thought she’s smart.

He shrugs, too unanimated to talk or even find a good answer.

He doesn’t even has to. They won’t care. They’ll just say that babies just don’t talk much. And well, he doesn’t and he’s a baby- supposed to be a baby. So yeah.

It’s all fine.

Because he’s a baby.

“Mhh maybe they run?”, daddy supplied instead and Lou nodded.

“Could you show me how they run?”, she picked up one of the horses and held it out for Lou to grab.

Stupid mommy.

Carefully he took the horse, making it ‘run’ over the carpet for a few seconds.

They all clap for him.

Stupid.

He didn’t do anything.

“Wow! Who knew our baby was this smart?”, the smart home assistant smiles and stands up.

“I’ll go get something. I’ll be right back.”

And she left.

Weird weird weird people.

Daddy swayed Lou around a little when he started squirming.

Waiting down here for her to come back?! And when’s that gonna be? Usually when she disappears it takes hours for her to come back.

But it wasn’t long before the doors opened again and she came back with a weird clipboard and stuff.

She sat back down in front of them.

“Okay baby. I’ll ask you some questions now, ready?”

Questions?

Why?

But looked at him in a type of way she only rarely did. A nice kind of way. An expecting kind of way.

Also, while these questions were getting annoying, it also was the first time in a while that she asked him actual questions where he’s supposed to give an actual answers to…

So Lou nodded slowly.

His grip on Lily tightened.

“Amazing! Okay. First of all we all are gonna take turns saying our names yes? You start baby.”

Okay. Lou took that back. He stared at her unimpressed.

“Loui.”, he mumbled from behind the paci.

She wrote that down.

“Thank you. I’m mommy.”

“I’m daddy.”, daddy chuckled into Loui’s hair.

Well duh.

“Since we talked about color a second ago I’m curious, what’s your favorite color Loui?”

Favorite color?

Getting into difficult territory there. Mh. Loui thought about it. He never actually decided on one.

But it definitely wasn’t pastel pink. He looked around the room. He had seen that color too often by now.

Although…when he was a child he at some point had started to just say that his favorite color was mint green just because he once took a good look at his own room and realized that a lot of his stuff was in that color. So, basically, the color had decided for him.

He shook his head.

Maybe just stick with green? That’s the easiest.

“Gween.”, the paci. Ah. Why is he constantly forgetting about it?!

“Really? Wow, thats a nice color baby.”, daddy squeezed Lou a little. The smart hole assistant looked utterly unimpressed.

“I was just curious. Okay! Now lets get this started!”, she cheered while moving the horses out of the way and placing some paper and a pen in front of Loui.

“Can you write down your name in the upper corner of the sheet?”

Fiiiine.

Lou gives an exaggerated sigh, his hand grabbing at the pen and- oh. Its been a while since he last held a pen, he realizes. He readjusts his grip but it still feels wrong in his hands. When he sets it down on the paper his fingers shake from the effort and the letters look crooked and uneven.

He pulls a grimace.

Wow. Its horrid. He looks onto his own lap and daddy’s hands that are essentially holding him in place. Embarrassed about ‘that’ thing.

“Good job baby.”, daddy pressed a kiss onto his head. But it did little to cheer Lou back up.

“I’m gonna point to two places on the paper now okay? Can you connect those for me? Its important and I need your help.”, she winked at Loui once he peaked up from his silent staring contest with his lap.

He nodded.

Of course she’d need his help! He was awesome!

So when she pointed at one place and then another he took great care in drawing a perfect line. Maybe it was a liiittle crooked. But it was supposed to be like this! He did it on purpose! Obviously!

“Could you count to twenty seconds for me? I need to see if my watch is going right.”, she suddenly asks as she looks at the watch on her wrist.

“Okay.”, Lou answers. Even though its weird, its nice to have her be so weirdly nice and calm in a way that doesn’t seem mocking of threatening. So he complies.

He’s careful in counting the seconds up and even remembered to take out his paci before. Lily helping him to keep focused on the task.

“Perfect, thank you so much!”, she writes something down. Probably how perfect he did.

“We are almost through, don’t worry Loui.”, she said when he started to squirm in daddy’s lap.

“Just one more thing okay? I’m gonna say a word and you’ll give me the first word that comes to your mind in response. Them we are almost through.”, she gave him a patient smile.

He slowly nodded.

•••

Sabrina couldn’t believe it.

He was perfect.

Perfect.

She was practically vibrating where she sat.

The counting to twenty seconds had taken Loui baby a good two minutes. His actions lacked precision and coordination. His answers came slow. And he was struggling with arithmetic and word association tests.

At difficult questions his first instinct was to look back at Len instead of actually thinking about it. He sucked harder at the pacifier when he got overwhelmed. His attention span rivaled that of a four year olds.

He was actually further along than Sabrina had hoped for!

Now just a few last test over the next days. Some pattern recognition tests for toddlers and stuff. Nothing difficult. He smirked. He’ll have fun.

And she still needed to prepare so much. Some info pads. Some toys for Loui. Ahhhhhh she felt as if she was going to fucking explode!

The last years of research have paid off!!! Finally! All her sacrifices!

She’ll finally be rewarded. Maybe even with a Nobel prize?! Ahhh.

Yes.

Of course!

What else?!

Lets see.

She stared back down at the infant in front of her.

Till now he was perfect.

He was ready.

It all was ready now.

•••

Loui really didn’t know what was up with his mommy.

The last few days she had asked him sooo many questions and played a lot with him.

All kinds of weird games.

Although…and thats a secret, so don’t tell! they kind of were a lot of fun.

Like really a lot of fun.

He doesn’t have someone to play with outside of Jassy normally. And she rarely really talked to him.

But these games with Sabrina gave him all the happy chemicals he’s been deprived off of till now.

Sometimes daddy even joined in!

That was even more fun!

Mostly because daddy was stupid. He was just the stupid daddy robot butler to the famous actor Lou after all!

Today seemed to be an extra very special day.

Mom-… Sabrina!

Sabrina had been very happy and excited and just all around so nice that it had Lou’s head in a whirlpool of emotions.

She had been nice from time to time. She had been happy from time to time.

Lou had figured out why these past few days have been so so different for himself now though.

It was because she felt genuine.

That was it.

It didn’t feel like a mask. Or an exaggerated emotion or something.

It felt as if she genuinely was happy to be Lou’s mommy?

Like…a real mommy?

Lou stuck his tongue out at the mere thought but…that was just how it felt.

And…It was weirdly nice.

It was relaxing.

It was almost domestically comfortable. So comfortable Lou sometimes forgot himself even. Completely. When she was like this time was flying by for him. And he was just happy.

It was scarily easy to get used to it too.

To her. To a ‘mommy’. Because now she actually was here with him the whole time. She didn’t leave for days on end anymore. And she was attentive.

He blinked up at his daddy when he got lifted out of his crib and onto the changing table.

Daddy hummed and Lou was a good Loui so he tried to hum along. A horrible decision, he realized when he listened to himself. He was ruining daddy’s song. So he stopped. Daddy laughed and booped his nose. Mommy laughed with him from the other side of the room, her hand holding a bottle.

Lou scrunched up his face on reflex but let out a little laugh as well.

It was a calm morning.

A nice morning.

When daddy sat down with Loui on the rocking chair she crouched down in front of them and…fed Lou.

Now that was awkward.

But nice.

And a weirdly comforting thing to have both of them swarm around him like this.

As if he’s very important.

Precious.

Fragile.

A hand caresses his head feathery light and warm.

“My good boy.”

He decided to stop thinking about it. He didn’t need to think.

He was a baby.

He was already dozing off again in that warm comfort but mommy lightly tapped his shoulder.

“Don’t fall asleep now baby. I still need to tell you something okay? We have a lot planned for today! Its a very big and special one.”

Go to sleep, don’t fall asleep, couldn’t they make up their minds?

He grumpily forced his eyes back open.

“I first need to burp him.”, daddy interjected and stood back up to lift Loui towards his chest.

His grip on Lou was secure and tight. Maybe a little tighter than normally but he didn’t care. Because it didn’t hurt. Not one bit. So it was fine.

After Lou had let out a little burp he was placed down onto the ground with his blocks.

He liked the blocks.

He blinked the sleep out of his eyes, which was very hard. He was so tired. He wanted a nap. Just one early morning nap. Preferably with daddy on the rocking chair.

That was always nice.

He glanced towards the window. Its still dark out.

“And you listen well okay baby Loui?”

Soon he had blended both his caregivers out to focus in on the blocks in front of him though.

It took a while until daddy suddenly stopped Lou from his play and lifted him back up.

“Alright! Now that we have that down, on we go! This is so exciting, isn’t it?”, she chirped as she walked in front of them.

Loui cocked his head.

What was going on?

Daddy was carrying him outside of the nursery. But instead of taking direction of the kindergarten room, they turned left.

Huh.

Mommy was just skipping about.

She had explained it all to Loui. But Lou hadn’t been paying attention. Now he came to regret that. Kind of. Because he hated new stuff. He didn’t like the fact that they were walking off into mew territory…it made him feel squirmy.

Could you blame him?

He had been entirely isolated! Yes. That and he’s a baby…

As for the paying attention thingy…He had been extremely concentrated on stacking his blocks over one another to build a really high tower! To expect him to multi task was just too much.

It was their fault for placing him where his blocks were.

Daddy was moving fast but then someone called out to mommy and she unexpectedly motioned for daddy to stop as well.

Lou tensed.

Yep.

That…that definitely was…someone else. Someone different from daddy or mommy.

She was talking weird stuff to that weird person and Lou hid himself in his daddy as far as him possible. Hiding there usually worked great.

Behind them were more steps he could hear and there were more people. He tensed up even more. Even though he hadn’t been aware that that was even possible.

All he heard was a sharp laugh.

He knew that voice from somewhere… but he couldn’t recall from where.

A dark, blurry image of someone edged into his mind but he pushed it away.

He listened more closely.

“-Pfff oh my god. Look at the fucker! Finally he’s treated the way he acts! I can’t! This is too funny!“

“It’s good to see he found his true calling. At least now he isn’t messing everything up anymore.”

“Yeah, sleeping himself to the top didn’t help him here anymore!”

Their voices were hushed, silent, barely audible but Lou heard them.

Because he was used to silence.

Now it seems like he picks up on whispers a little too well.

And suddenly it all was just too loud.

Though it seemed like daddy heard them as well because he hugged Lou more tightly and pressed Lou’s right ear into his chest while covering his left ear with his hand.

Lou didn’t hear the rest of the conversation after that anymore.

He was sure it was unimportant though.

Even if a tiny voice inside of him had been woken back up again.

He scrunched up his face.

That buggy big thoughts stuff was back.

He nuzzled into his daddy, Lily securely in his hold. Daddy would make it better.

He had already blocked out the too loud noises around them. He could do anything. Lou trusted him.

But it still was disorienting to hear and be aware of those weird people. He’d become so used to his whole life revolving around daddy, and to some extent Sabrina, that it was scary to see other’s.

To even think of others.

It felt as if his system got overloaded.

Yucky.

He may have even forgotten that others excited outside of his nursery.

He focused on daddy’s steady heartbeat while tightly scrunching his eyes shut.

Then daddy started moving again and mere seconds later, at least that’s how it felt, they were in a nice and empty room again.

No more buggy weird people.

He relaxed a little.

Then he looked around. The room was mostly empty and stale. But a few toys layer here and there.

But where was mommy?

Loui cocked his head. Only seeing a huge mirror front where daddy and he got reflected from.

Daddy looked more styled up, Lou realized all of a sudden.

He looked down at himself.

How did he not notice that he wasn’t in his usual pink onesie but in a onesie with a cute pattern.

He stared at the mirror a little longer. Taking in everything and all of the stuff around him.

A weird room.

Chapter Text

(
“Why so silent?”, Ecin watched Louis over the edge of her glasses while taking a sip of whatever was in that cup.

Louis huffed, turning to quickly find something to distract her from his shaking hands.

A pen!

He took it to start tapping it onto a piece of paper that held a bunch of notes from whoever.

“Fucking spit it out Tember.”, she clicked her tongue, peering over towards Louis’ phone.

“Nothing!”

“You are a god awful lier. Did you finally cut her off?”

Ah.

Louis bit the inside of his mouth like gum. The edges of his teeth catching on skin from time to time that they ripped off. Warmth spread over the side of his tongue for two or three seconds before it stopped again and a numb feeling took over.

“Obviously.”, he bit out, licking his tongue over the flesh that felt like foreign rubber in his mouth.

He hadn’t.

She had cut off contact with him first. In tears and silently before the mocking beeping turned up to indicate that the call had ended.

But he wasn’t about to expose himself there. Not in front of Ecin.

The corners of her lips curled up into a wild grin. Her cup met the surface of the table with a telling ‘cling’ before she clapped her hands.

“Good Job Tember! I’m proud of you!”

And Louis’ thoughts couldn’t help but stop racing at those words. His eyes flicking down towards the floor without him realizing it fast enough. He straightened back up.

“Why? Because I kicked my own mum to the curb?”, he gave it his best attempt at sounding cocky, sarcastic, over it.

“Oh you are so dramatic! You kicked someone out of your life that just wanted to use you. Tsk tsk tsk. You fucking pathetic bastard. You are lucky you have me.”

This was one of the rarer conversations. One that felt even, Louis noticed.

“I guess.”

“I mean, she really was just a hindrance to your rise here wasn’t she? Slut. ‘Send money, we can’t pay rent’, ‘why don’t you come visit us?’ ‘I love you’ Those are the words of a manipulator. She wanted to prevent you from focusing on your work here! She’s so selfish.”, Ecin rambled on and on, giving the first sympathetic smile he had ever seen from her.

And it cut deep. Louis swallowed hard. Maybe it was worth it. If just for this.

“Now I can, like I promised you”, she winked at him “give you bigger projects! Isn’t that exciting! All this thanks to me! Aren’t I amazing. What would you do without me huh?!”

And he suddenly felt excitement. His stomach jumping and his head feeling lightheaded when he, against his own will imagined himself working on bigger projects with enormous impact on the world.

Now without the guilt. Without distractions. His sole focus in this. After all, the last of his connections to the outside was just cut off. It was a blessing for him, really.

And judging by the way Ecin was acting, maybe finally she saw him as an equal. Maybe finally he had some agency over this. His own life.

Maybe he’d finally stop simply being the hide of an animal now.

Yeah.

He didn’t lose here! Couldn’t! He fucking won! After years of fighting.

“So! Get it moving Lou Tember!”

Louis halted.

“It’s Louis.”

“Ahhh puhhhh. You know-”, she gave an exaggerated sigh and gestures wildly around for a few long seconds “Obviously! In your old Life maybe! But my dear idiot imbecile Tember, you were reborn under my amazing guidance! It’s only right to finally bury the dead man Louis. I mean, he essentially already died the first time he tried. Didn’t he? Accept it.”

She gave a quick exit without giving him another glance.

Mh.

Lou…

He stared after her. The bleak walls cornering him, towering over him, have never felt this freeing.

Maybe she was right in that regard as well.

Because he’d now start a new life. Now it would finally all be better.

Lou leaned back in his chair, looking down at his phone. His finger ghosting over the contact displayed there before, without hesitation, he clicked on delete.

Lou was free.
)

•••

“I do not want my baby in front of all those people!”, Len huffed while readjusting the sleeping bundle of little thing in his arms.

“I don’t remember asking you!”, Sabrina gave an exasperated sigh.

“It’s a huge safety hazard! We don’t know how he’ll react!”, he whispered, his hands stroking the baby’s back in circles when Loui stirred a little.

“FINE! I’ll figure something out…”, she threw her hands up to then cross her arms, giving a tiny “probably for the better.”, hoping Len hadn’t heard it.

That conversation had been around a week ago.

Len just still wouldn’t stop pestering her about the presentation!

Still!

It was currently the morning of and as if this simple fact wasn’t enough to keep her moving, her dearest lap rat was being a pain in the ass!

“And he won’t see them?”

“No! For the last god damn time, no! N-O. No! You wanna hear it in Spanish?!”

“…but…are you-“

“Yes! I’m sure! Don’t you fucking go and ruin this for me!”

“You know that I’m not capable of that.”, Len gave a little pout and Sabrina took a deep breath.

“Listen. It’s just today. Maybe, if this goes exceptionally well he will have to take part in some shows as the prime example okay? But that’s it. So either you continue dragging this out and causing the poor poor baby more stress than is good for his little system or you finally start moving just the way I made you practice and Loui will be a happy Loui.”

“Sorry.”

“It’s fine. It’s fine. You are just nervous huh. Don’t know how to react to the feeling, do you? Just embrace it! You are doing great. Now move! It’s time!”

It didn’t take long until they were moving through the almost empty seeming facility. Everyone was on their respective position.

Perfection.

A perfect play. A perfect stage. A perfect scenery!

Sabrina skipped along the halls, feeling as if she was flying along them on clouds. She took a deep breath, taking in the smell of cleanliness and achievement as she danced around. This was her stage.

She ignored the confused fussing of the baby.

The sounds only causing her to fall deeper into her fantasies.

She had explained to the baby that he was gonna be part of a show. If he actually processed her words or not wasn’t really on her mind. Just in the far back. And even then she didn’t care.

Because this wasn’t his day.

It was hers. Hers alone.

He should stop being selfish.

Boring side characters were coming, pooling towards the room in which Sabrina would finally show them her work.

One called out to her. She stopped in her tracks. How dare they?!

But she quickly calmed back down when she realized that it was the representative of something so much higher than this boring facility. Her future in great power.

“Ah my dear mister…eh…OH! It’s so amazing to see you again!”, she swirled around, motioning with her hand for Len to stop and follow her towards the man.

It couldn’t hurt to let him see this first.

It’ll leave a good impression.

“I’m not used to you looking so young. I’m excited for your show.”, he gave her a big smile before turning an empty glance at Loui baby.

The thing was lazily glancing at something behind Len but really Sabrina just couldn’t care.

At a few involuntary sounds Loui made, the man started talking again.

“I was never a kid person, you know. Animals always had more of my sympathy.”, he gave a smile that was supposed to indicate that that had been a joke even though it clearly wasn’t. Sabrina laughed. Meant as a joke or not, good intentions or not, it had been funny.

“Maybe I should start something in that department to really pike your interest then? Pretty sure making dogs out of them would be plenty easy.”

“Oh now don’t give me ideas.”, he gave a dry chuckle “It’s always good to joke with you doctor. What I actually wanted to ask before everyone of these is in the way, what caused you to think about this?”, he motioned wildly towards the doors.

“Oh please, what better way to convince people to take me on as the bringer of peace and happiness for the world than writing boring reports and theses? Giving presentations to colleagues and the public of course! But my method is so fucking perfect now that it even surprised me. I didn’t expect him to be ready so quickly! But it just motivated me to move things along faster.”

“Well well. As long as it has future I don’t care. You’ll know best.”

“I do.”

Sabrina motioned to the watchers room and led the man with her inside of it.

The one sided mirror wasn’t currently in the showtime position so it was a normal mirror for now.

It reflected them as what they were in the currently dark room. Scarcely lit which only caused reflective surfaces to shine brighter in the picture.

Sabrina looked at herself, seeing power.

She flicked on the presentation lights. The shadows from under her eyes disappearing.

She caused the one sided mirror to finally bring justice to its name.

A final test.

She pulled a little at one of the chairs beside her, noticing that it was at an off angle.

“Does that really need to be here?”, came the disgusted voice of the man, his gaze hung up at something next to the doors. Sabrina turned and looked closely but couldn’t see anything.

“What?”

“That. Right there. That one.”, he pointed again and Sabrina blinked.

Oh!

He meant the lab rat!

Yeah, ah, that’s right. Her fourth lab rat was placed there. She looked them up and down.

She had forgotten about that one.

Sabrina tutted at them but didn’t get a response.

Ah, right, that’s why she tended to forget about that one. It was boring. She rolled her eyes.

The man came idly strolling closer towards her, glancing at the fourth rat with a distasteful grimace.

When he was beside Sabrina he glanced back into the observation room that was now visible, in which Loui and Len were currently entering.

He shivered.

“I still feel a slight uncanny valley effect whenever I look at these.”

“Bullshit.”, she rolled her eyes. He was just here to amuse himself and put in a good word for her. She didn’t need his fucking out of place opinion on something that wasn’t of importance right now.

“It’s true. Just take a very good look at him for example! There’s nothing human there.”, he squinted towards Len who was currently shushing a confused looking baby.

“What the fuck are you incinerating right now?! You are just jealous! I can’t believe this! Fucking hell. He’s not even the main attraction right now! Watch and cry when I fucking win.”

“Win? Were we competing?”

“You never know.”, she shrugged, calming down her nerves. She was highly unused to being nervous. But it was all for a greater good. And she was so close to having a guaranteed place in the history books.

“Well, in my books I’m just here to support an amusing idea.”, the man sneered. Then he wrote something down before taking a seat in the last row.

Sabrina eyed him suspiciously but didn’t comment. Instead she concealed the observation room again, mirroring the empty seats that will soon be filled.

Then her lab rat opened the door and dozens of people came flooding in.

“Please take your seat. The presentation will be held shortly after.”, she gave her biggest professional smile and gestured towards the seating area. She only had to sweeten them up until this was over.

She shivered with disgust as she recalled her last few months of suffering. Being nice to people that are beneath her was exhausting.

But she repressed the bothered moan that was about to escape her.

Only a few more days. Maximum a few more weeks.

The man in the last row gave a flick of his wrist with a critical and cocky smile.

•••

Len squeezed his poor confused baby tightly while whispering sweet nothings to reassure him.

Loui must be overwhelmed by the sudden change of scenery and on top of that broken routine.

The poor baby.

He kissed the upset Loui’s forehead in an attempt to soothe him.

Louis had seemed entirely fine the first five minutes they had been in the room. Len had been sure the baby perfectly understood what was going on. Okay, maybe he had been a bit more tense than usual but other than that…and now he was working himself up to a full blown tantrum.

“It’s alright baby. I know. I know. It’s all good. Daddy’s here. And look! Miss Lily is also here.”, Len made the fox plush dance in front of his baby’s eyes.

The poor thing blinked at his comfort item through large tears. His cheeks flushed as he aimlessly started to rub his eyes with his fist.

His little breathing stuttered against Len’s chest and he hummed to give his baby a few more familiar things to focus on.

“There there. This is all so new and exciting, isn’t it? I’m sorry, you are just a baby so you don’t understand mh. Silly daddy.”, the baby hiccuped and turned to hide his face in Len’s shirt. His nose now runny. Poor poor thing. “I know. But we have to help mommy a little bit with her work.”

“No work.”, Loui gave in a tiny and scared voice.

“No no. You and daddy won’t work, don’t worry. We just help.”, Len reassured his baby while running his fingers through that soft hair that was now a little too short for his taste.

His baby had been so adorable with longer hair. The way it had whipped around and fallen over his eyes from time to time or how Len could play with it. So soft. Just like his baby.

But it’ll grow again. Then Len will be able to see and do all that again.

He placed another kiss on top of Loui’s head.

“You look so pretty sweetheart. Look! You are the most helpful and professional looking baby out there! My smart boy. Such a good boy for mommy and daddy.”, Len rambled on, pointing at the mirror front.

Loui only gave it a halfhearted look before burying back in his daddy. His hands threading through the soft fur of his stuffy and Len gave him a few seconds to readjust before continuing.

“You know how mommy has asked you sooo much stuff the last few days?”, he asked after finally his baby had calmed down enough again and had resumed looking around the room with big and confused eyes.

“This will be just the same! You and me will play a little in this weird room and then it’ll already be over again, okay?”

After multiple seconds of silence Loui nodded, his finger traveling into his mouth after he had spat out the pacifier while crying.

Len shook his head playfully.

His little sunshine.

He stretched to get the discarded pacifier back into his hand and then cleaned it before replacing the yucky thumb with its teat.

“Isn’t this way better mh.”, he chuckled when he saw his boy blush.

•••

“My pride and joy!”, Sabrina started up when the clock showed the full hour. Her own voice thrumming in her ears.

“The progress has been summed up in the data pads that have been provided for you and I’m sure you have all read my reports beforehand. But I’ll repeat the most important parts before we’ll really start.”, she bowed to her audience before straightening back up and clearing her throat.

“My inspiration for this was watching all the pain and suffering in this world. Overpopulation, resource shortages, poverty and homelessness. I believe I have found one thing that could free us from all that at once. Queue in, Louis Tember!”, she snapped her fingers and the mirror front turned see through for the audience. An excited murmuring could he heard as eyes locked on the two adults in the tiny observation room.

“Physical age thirty two. Previous diagnoses are Generalized Anxiety Disorder diagnosed at age seventeen. Dysthymia diagnosed at age eighteen. Opioid Use Disorder had been present for an unknown amount of time. Underweight and overworked! And now look at him!”, she waited a few seconds to really let that sink in.

“First signs of active mental regression at the two weeks mark. He himself started recognizing it just around the second month. Currently we are in the start of the seventh month and he is almost completely adjusted.”

“So you are saying that the process is guaranteed?”, someone threw in, interrupting Sabrina in her carefully curated speech. But she wasn’t mad. Quite the opposite. Because questions meant interest.

High interest meant high acceptance rates.

“Precisely!”

“And you are confident this-“, a woman in her fancy suit scrunched up her nose and wildly gestures towards the baby “process is really, truly guaranteed in every subject? No matter their history?”

“It’s highly dependent on the subjects how fast they’ll cave but I am confident that as long as my plan is followed, it won’t ever take longer than nine months to get the requested results. No matter how stubborn.”

A pleasant murmuring picked back up to echoe throughout the entire room. Sabrina smiled, confident to know that soon her plan would be set into motion.

A hand shot up.

“Yes?”

“So he’s been made entirely neutralized for anything dangerous mentally?”

“If you want to put it that way, yes. His mental capacity is that of a three or four year olds right now. He’s entirely harmless.”

“What about subjects that displayed destructive tendencies towards others?”

“One of my earlier subjects, if you’d had read my report carefully, has had a diagnosed antisocial personality disorder, otherwise known as sociopathy, if that’s easier to understand for you. In less than four months, while symptoms were still present, no danger was still present even though they had an extended history of violence. Harmless as a baby, as I said.”

Some were writing stuff down while others just nodded their heads accordingly.

Sabrina smirked.

They were obviously worried about homeless people being an incalculable risk factor. But she’d make sure to make them forget about that. Reassure them. Because her method was perfect. Loui was still living proof.

“Now let’s start with a little show, shall we?”

Let’s show them how far gone he is.

•••

Len got the go to start with the trained questioning and activities with his baby.

He always had to remind himself that this was all for the good of his baby.

Even if some particular stuff would make him cry…

He swallowed.

This is for Loui. It’ll be fine.

•••

“So it’s really just an adult baby?”, the voice, where ever it came from, sounded disappointed.

“It’s so much more than that! It’s the start of a customizable family! The family of the future! People have started tampering with the genes of their offspring to get them to be blond, ginger, have blue eyes, green eyes. We don’t know what kind of lasting consequences that’ll have on the human race! But with these? It’s different! Imagine being able to fill out a form and give exact data without worrying about being unethical or facing unknown consequences. You want a blue eyed boy aged one year old with freckles and dimples? No problem. The best part? They won’t grow up! Only if you want them to. Imagine the possibilities! We are in the twenty first century! It’s about time for humanity to go with the ever changing times and evolve in the way we and the earth need it.”

At the exact moment a tiny whimper could be heard over the sound system connected with the other room. It picked up at volume fast before he got shushed again.

The poor poor thing.

Sabrina smirked.

“So…you could modify them?”

The question hung heavily in the air. Some eyes turned towards the man in the last row who’s eyes were sparkling.

Sabrina gave a lighthearted laugh.

“All in the bounds of human rights obviously! It’s all consensual after all! They’ll sign an agreement and contract. The safety, following and respecting of human rights in this whole thing is obviously our first priority!”

The people that had held a concerned look on their face quickly calmed back down.

Boring.

Sabrina really didn’t care.

She didn’t care to what kind of people those future adult babies would be shipped to. She didn’t care if people with whatever kind of intentions would be the main contributor.

The public doesn’t need to know that part.

They only need to know that Sabrina saved them.

Yes.

That sounds nice.

That sound amazing.

But for now she had to cover all bases.

“If they have consented then modification is free game! Also some may have injuries from past experiences or similar, so really, you can give a disabled person a loving home! This is true equality. If you don’t want your baby to ever learn to walk just pick one that has been in a wheelchair. No one will be discriminated against here! In times like these, isn’t that of great value?”

More people wrote stuff down.

The whole presentation went exceptionally well!

Sabrina beamed as she watched the people leave, all with smiles. Maybe some had their eyebrows twisted and wrinkled in funny expressions but really, who cared?

They had just willingly, of their own free will, watched a grown man answer IQ questions for a three year old and failing. They had watched a grown man laughing and crying, sucking on a pacifier. They had watched a grown man shit his diaper and drink from a bottle.

They had watched a baby.

And they had all stayed a whole of three hours just to watch it all and ask questions. No one even thought of leaving. It never had crossed their minds it seemed.

Sabrina hummed happily.

Finally, after the room had emptied, the man in the last row stood up.

Sabrina slipped towards him.

“You think you can make them accept it?”, she gave a wide smile and crossed her arms.

“You are so confident. I love people like that.”, he clicked his tongue while looking over his written notes.

“I think I can. Although be prepared for unexpected changes. After all this’ll be a matter of the public.”

“As long as my plan is followed.”

He gave her an amused look.

Then he stepped passed her to stand in front of the window.

“I don’t know why, but hearing him talk was disappointing.”, he finally mused.

“If you ever decide to get one, you should make sure you take one that can’t speak.”

“I do intent for that.”, he gave a thoughtful hum.

“As I said, you can always modify them to your liking.”, Sabrina said, deep in thought herself, thinking back on the last few babies.

“So? I think I’d have the tear glands taken out then as well.”, the old man laughs.

“The lacrimal glands? Mh. Well, I suppose no one likes a crying baby.”, Sabrina agreed. “Although some would say it’s part of the experience.”

“If I’m gonna take a perfectly modified baby I’d want it to only ever be quiet and happy. Even if it just looks that way outwardly.”, he tapped his own chin, a smile curling his lips upwards as his eyes shone with excitement.

“You could even make a tv series once this catches on. From inhuman to cute and brainless. Pretty sure people would be wild for that one. They love everything on reality tv.”

“You have some cute ideas.”, Sabrina smirked.

“And I’ll make sure they catch on.”, he gave her a wink while tapping at his pockets.

“After all you convinced me quite well.”

“The color green sure is a nice one, isn’t it?”, she glanced at the baby that was currently falling asleep in Len’s arms.

“I’d even say it rules the world. Well…”, he gave the baby one last disgusted look “See ya.”, he turns and leaves the room. Sabrina’s eyes follow him before she as well takes her leave.

Now it won’t be long.

She gave Len the signal to bring Loui back to his nursery. The poor thing needed his sleep.

As she strolled along the hallways she laughed and laughed. Overcome with happiness.

Chapter Text

•••

Len entered the nursery finding Louis softly babbling to his toys.

Entirely in his own world, not even realizing that his daddy basically stood over him.

Warmth spread through Len’s body at the sight. He had been scared that the little thing Sabrina needed Louis for today had scarred him in any way. Or set him back in his progress that’s been going so well. Simply because he had been so confused and helpless at the sudden routine change.

But it seems like Len shouldn’t have worried at all.

Silently, so he’d not scare his baby too much at suddenly being so close, he took a few steps back. Lifting his hand to lightly tap the door with his knuckles.

His baby’s head shot up, his babbling instantly stopping. Lily fell out of his hand, hitting the bunny that fell to the side.

Len suppressed a sigh. Just when will his baby stop that? Or maybe Len just needs to try harder to make his baby even more comfortable? Yeah, that’s probably it. It isn’t his poor baby’s fault.

“Hi there baby. Had a nice nap?”, he slowly came closer to gently lift Loui out of the crib and into his arms.

Louis yawned, his fist rubbing at his eye before placing his head on Len’s shoulder.

Len pressed his lips shut tightly in fear of a happy squeal coming out of them. He didn’t want his baby to notice just how adorable he looked!

“There there. It’s been an exciting day mh.”

Louis squirmed around a little and Len checked his diaper. Wet.

“Let’s get you all fixed up baby. Then you’ll get a nice bottle. How about daddy reading you a story? You’ve been so good today!”

Loui just hummed a little.

Poor thing.

All tuckered out.

“Wasn’t it so much fun playing with daddy in the weird room?”

He placed him onto the changing table.

“You know, mommy was so happy with you! She wouldn’t stop talking about how perfect you were.”, Len continued to at least try and keep his baby awake throughout the diaper change. If he slept too much now he wouldn’t be able to fall asleep later tonight! His poor poor baby would get all confused and cranky. He can’t have that!

“Really?”

Len startled at his baby’s hopeful expression. But he quickly regained his composure. It wasn’t a secret that Loui cared a great deal about how his mommy saw him. Still, the fact he even answered with ‘words’…

“Yeah. Who wouldn’t be happy with you? You did so so well baby! Daddy’s little perfect man.”, Len booped the little button nose and his baby wiggled around the changing mat with a little, satisfied smile on his lips.

“Did you and bunny start to get along now?”, Len continued on as if nothing happened. His baby’s face instantly scrunched up. A little pout forming on his perfectly rosy lips and Len cooed at him.

“No!”

“Really now? Is the bunny so bad?”, Len chuckled as he lifted his Loui back up again.

The little sunshine nodded. Pout still big and clearly offended on his lips.

“Enemy.”

“Enemy? In what way? Tell daddy more!”, he gasped playfully while taking the bottle with now perfect temperature into his free hand and taking course of the rocking chair.

Louis seemed to struggle for a bit. Maybe contemplating if he should tell his daddy about his little game. Eventually the baby started up babbling though. Len felt satisfied. His baby never told Sabrina these kinds of stories. And he felt excited since this would be the first time for himself as well.

All weird feelings for Len to have. As always. But then again Sabrina had said to just embrace them.

“Mh. The bunny is mean to Lily.”

“What? How dare he?”

“Mhm. But Lily is over it.”

Len waited a little longer for Loui to continue but after about a minute of silence he realized that that was all he was gonna get for today.

He still felt incredibly happy.

“Unbelievable!”, he finally gasped his understanding of the situation and his baby gave him a spaced out nod. Already back in his own head and on his way to falling asleep again.

•••

Lou had never been more grateful for weird time skips. Okay, and his great second identity as the world famous actor Lou. Because he feels like otherwise he wouldn’t have survived today.

It wasn’t really about the new, weird room he had been in today.

Not even about the fact that they had woken him up way earlier than usual.

It was just…

Those voices.

They echoed.

More than he had first realized. Or rather, had liked to realize.

They made it hard to stay so far floating that nothing else really mattered.

And every time he thought he might be in the clear again they repeated themselves again.

‘Finally he’s treated the way he acts! This is too funny!’

Is it funny?

He rolled the thought around in his head.

He looked down at himself and tried to understand this.

‘At least now he isn’t messing everything up anymore.’

Maybe…they are right?

The memory of his last day of work is hollow at best. No other word came to mind. It was far away. A simple emotion in his memory. No pictures. Just a construct. As if it never actually happened. A dream. He can’t grab it.

But he knew he messed up. He remembered the feeling of it.

And that was the worst part. Because these voices weren’t wrong.

He could only escape these voices again when his brain shut off.

Or when he was the actor.

Because actors won’t ever show what they really think or feel.

Liars don’t show what they really think.

Loui doesn’t show what he really thinks.

…no.

Loui can’t think.

Lou can.

Can he?

Or was that Louis?

He swallowed hard, choking on the milk he momentarily had forgotten about.

Tears pricked the corners of his eyes when he coughed violently. His body cramping painfully every time the reflex picked back up. To steady himself he took a hold of soft fabric next to him. Twisting his fingers around it securely.

“Oh dear! Careful baby.”, his…butler daddy made sure Lou could sit upright, carefully patting him on his back to help ease the coughing.

Lou blinks up at him through tears, mouth snapping to get some air inside.

“It’s alright. It’s all okay baby. You’re alright.”, daddy hummed and Loui almost relaxed again.

‘This is too funny.’

He tensed.

It’s only now that he realizes that he’s held the fabric of his butler’s shirt captive in a tight grip. He forces his fingers to relax. They hurt. He flexes them to try and ease the cramping. It doesn’t help.

“Oh sweetheart. What’s the matter mh?”, the rocking chair picked its rocking motion back up.

It felt like everything was slow. Too slow.

Suddenly he got tightly pressed into a warm hug. He couldn’t fight against the impulse to melt into that.

His daddy was softly cooing down at him and it helped a lot. He hadn’t even realized that he had started quietly crying.

“I think my little baby is having some big thoughts because of this big day mh. Isn’t he? Already such a long day but only halfway through because of your mommy.”

Oh right, mommy…

Wasn’t there something about… Loui searched his memory.

Daddy had told him that she’s happy with him, didn’t he? Right…so he did a good job. Despite of what the voices say…right?

He stared up at daddy for answers but realized shortly after that he had never voiced his question.

“Did good?”

Daddy gave him a wide smile, showing white teeth.

“Of course! You always do good. No, actually, you are always absolutely perfect!”, daddy ruffled Loui’s hair. He gave a quiet giggle.

“Perfect?”

“Of course. What else?”, he looked so genuine that Loui stopped the questioning for now. Maybe daddy was right. Daddy was always right.

He leaned back into his daddy’s chest, suddenly feeling really exhausted again. Crushed. Tiny. Too tiny for this.

He was a tiny actor now.

But still a very good tiny actor, mind you.

Very good.

Perfect.

A perfect Loui.

“Yucky baby. There you go honey.”

The teat of a paci got pressed against his lips and he accepted it. His thumb got dried with the sleeve of his daddy’s sweater.

Oh he wore the sweater again now!

No wonder it was all so soft…

Loui hadn’t liked the posh clothes the other had worn this morning. They were weird. Everything was weird. But daddy was alright Loui guesses.

“You’re alright. You are just a baby. The most perfect baby boy. You are so adorable and tiny, I could eat you up.”, daddy chucked as he rearranged Loui to sit more comfortably on his lap.

“Would you like a story baby? I think you would like one. You deserve all the stories. How about Snow White and Rose Red? That’s a nice story, isn’t it?”

The even rocking and the soft voice of his daddy brought him back into his role. The floating nothingness so so close, he could almost grab it.

Loui sighed in relief. Nursing on the paci as he nuzzled into the soft material next to his face. Daddy cleared his throat, making a tiny show of starting the fairytale for Loui.

“Once upon a time there was a garden in which stood two rose-trees, one of which wore white and the other red roses. In the house of that garden lived two children who were like the two rose-trees. One was called Snow-white, and the other Rose-red.”

The voice was easy to follow. Nice to follow. Way nicer than the other voices. This one had no echo. And it was save. Because it was daddy’s.

“The two children were so fond of one another that they always held each others hands when they went out together, and when Snow-white said, ‘We will not leave each other.’ Rose-red answered, ‘Never as long as we live.’”

Loui hummed thoughtfully as his hand kneaded daddy’s sweater.

“Nothing bad ever happened to them. If they had stayed too late in the forest, and the night came, they laid themselves down near one another in the grass, and slept until morning came, and their mother knew this and wasn’t worried about them.

Once when they had spent the night in the wood and the light had woken them back up, they saw a beautiful child in a shining white dress sitting near their bed of moss. He got up and looked quite kindly at them, but said nothing and went away into the forest. And when they looked round, they found that they had been sleeping quite close to a cliff that was concealed quite well, and they would certainly have fallen into it in the darkness if they had gone only a few inches further.”

Slowly Loui drifted off. Occasionally his conscious would pick up words and phrases. Lazily putting them together to make sense out of them.

It was fine though. Loui knew the story. It was one of his favorites.

The two sisters with the good heart. A dwarf that was extremely prideful and that got in a lot of trouble because he wanted more and more treasures.

The girls saved him but always had to cut off something of his beard and he’d scream at them for it. But they still always helped him.

There were also bears and gold and other stuff.

In the end the girls married the bears who actually were princes. That part always made Loui giggle. And he didn’t mean the positive kind. It was a weird story. But it helped him unfocus. He didn’t like the ending. But he loved the beginning. And daddy seemed to as well because he always took great care to drag it out for as long as possible.

Sometimes Lou pitied the dwarf. He was very prideful but he also just didn’t want to be made fun of by his own kind. Their beard apparently was a status symbol in that world or something. So Lou could sympathize with him.

But only sometimes.

Now he was just too tired to care about others. Others outside of this room. Others apart from daddy and maybe mommy.

He simply could only pity himself right now.

Later mommy came and actually praised Loui so much. Loui didn’t even know what he had done! But it made him feel squirmy inside and floaty and he swore he’d do whatever made mommy so happy again.

“Loui baby! Ow come here honey.”, mommy singsonged while cuddling Loui.

They were back on the rocking chair. Daddy held Loui tightly all the while mommy tried to pull him towards herself. A kind of tuck of war. Loui giggled. A yawn rudely interrupting him.

He had never seen mommy sooo touchy feely!

Weird mommy.

“What do you wanna do mh? Loui I wanna give you something you’ll like but I can’t think of anything.”, she pouted at Loui.

“How about something sweet?”

“No!”

Both mommy and Loui turned a pointed glare at daddy. Meanie.

Although daddy just looked confused and concerned… but mommy was sooo happy, Loui didn’t want to ruin it.

He pondered.

What to do??

Daddy’s grip on Loui tightened and he squirmed a little. He got an apologetic look and a sigh.

“What if it upsets his stomach?”

“Oh pleaseeee! I’m the doctor here! And I wouldn’t give him pure sugar. What do you take me for huh?!”, mommy snapped before pressing Loui more tightly towards herself again.

Daddy just looked at her with a funny expression.

“How about some strawberries then.”, mommy dramatically rolled her eyes. “That’s what I meant anyway!”

“Would you like some strawberries honey?”, daddy whispered softly into Loui’s ear. He nodded. Yes! He liked the fruit he got sometimes with his porridge!

And getting them without the porridge? Even better! He licked his lips, realizing in the process that his thumb is hanging from them. Ah.

Daddy chuckled while ruffling Loui’s hair.

“Then go.”

“Mh?”

“Go! Get them! Hush hush.”, mommy made some weird and fast hand movements towards daddy.

“Alright. You sit tight and be very good for mommy honey okay?”, daddy gave him a reassuring smile.

Somehow Loui didn’t feel all too good about that thought… but maybe he was just so excited that his brain was confusing the positive emotion with a negative one?

Ahhh this is complicated…

So he just nodded mutely.

“Come here Loui.”, mommy ripped Loui out of daddy’s arms completely and waved towards him. Loui copied her. Daddy would be fine…right?

“You did so well. Good boy. Very good. Just like a good baby. Everyone saw what a good baby you are.”, she mumbled on repeat. The smile wide and glowing. If Loui didn’t know any better he’d say almost manic. But he did know better. She was just showing her happiness with him.

He took the rare opportunity and snuggled a little into her. It felt unnatural, stiff, maybe even a little uncomfy. But he’ll take it. He liked it when she was his mommy. Not all scary or angry or stuff.

“It’s all just because of you. My good baby. Good Loui.”

She patted his head, the wide smile stuck to her lips and never even twitching.

Loui didn’t know for how long he just let the continuous stream of praises flow over himself but it must have been a while because suddenly daddy was back.

“Look at that. Some sweets for my sweet baby. Perfect. Perfect baby.”

“Hi darling. Are you excited for your berries?”, daddy cooed and Loui stretched his arms out towards him, stupid smile on his face.

“Yes you are mh. Yes you are.”, he laughed as he gently took one of the red strawberries to place in front of Loui’s face. He more than willingly opened his mouth, humming when the taste and texture! hit his mouth.

Goosebumps spread over his skin and because of the sourness, his mouth felt all funny for a bit. But he got over that quickly. Saliva gathered in his mouth and he swallowed hurriedly. More! He grunted when daddy wasn’t fast enough.

And the next few days just continued like this!

Loui couldn’t believe it!

He was in heaven!

Real actual heaven!

He wiggled around happily in his daddy’s embrace.

Because of daddy and mommy the voices also only appeared sometimes. Maybe when he woke up a little earlier and was laying around all alone for a few minutes.

But they never lasted long.

He was just floating around.

Happy.

He, daddy and mommy.

He had never been this happy before. At least he couldn’t remember right now. Mommy was a nice mommy now and daddy always cuddled him! He never was without skin contact to daddy! Okay, almost never. But daddy always made back up for it if he had to go to get a bottle or didn’t realize that Loui was awake fast enough.

Loui even included the bunny more now because mommy liked it so much.

The bunny and Lily now had an enemies to lovers storyline going on! But Pssst! She doesn’t really know yet! It’s still in the making! They were still having fights but bunny really loved Lily but Lily didn’t realize! Not yet! The story was fun to imagine in his head.

Maybe one day he’ll even tell daddy and then he can help Loui continue the story!

He tried to explain it to Jassy the other day and she seemed happy! Loui blushed thinking about it.

But telling daddy would be even more amazing! Hehe. Loui felt so excited for it!

•••

After multiple days of Sabrina being incredibly happy and taking away the time Len would usually have with his baby, she finally got some kind of … feedback? to the show she had needed Loui for.

Len didn’t actually know if she got feedback or whatever, he just knew that she had gotten a call and emails and a letter or something.

And he knew that it had to do with that show a few days…or weeks now? ago.

Sabrina has been smashing things left and right since the call.

Len took a step to the side to avoid getting hit by a pen, that merely a second later hit the stuff piled up behind him with so much force that something shattered.

Len didn’t know what. He never had been equipped with the knowledge of the specific names of the ‘assisting utensils’.

Additionally she was also screaming and muttering under her breath.

But since she didn’t do any of this around his baby, Len really didn’t care about this display of emotions.

But he was interested about what these people had thought of his baby.

“And?”

“And?!”, Sabrina huffed, her face red “of course they take it! I’m a genius after all!”

She threw her note pad onto the table behind herself again. It had already split in half the first time around. Then she sighed dramatically. Her facial expression everything but happy.

“But?”

“But?! Len you really are asking god damn fucking shit questions!”, but after some under her breath cursing she finally let herself fall onto a still undamaged chair.

“But they’ll first start on criminals that would get the electric chair otherwise. That way they want to ‘appease the people’ and ‘start banning the death penalty everywhere’ blah blah blah. Some bullshit.”, she huffed again “These bastards can’t just rewrite MY plan!”, her nails dug into the metal of the table.

Len didn’t really understand the difference, except for the fact that his baby was not a criminal, so he just frowned and nodded.

Sabrina gave a bored sigh, flicking her fingers over the pages of data she had collected over the last few months. She looked utterly defeated. Then bored. Then angry. And then neutral again. All that in the span of about four silent minutes.

“Okay!”, she then clapped her hands, the corners of her lips pulled up “now that that is over with, mister Tember is free to go! I think he’ll be doing flips hearing that he managed to live through this unharmed and alive! He’ll probably be so cocky and happy, I’ll probably never hear the end of it! Let’s get him back to his usual work! Wouldn’t that be fucking fun?!”, she stood back up, her tone very much upbeat now but anger still prominent on her face.

Len only blinked.

What…What was she saying?!

Chapter Text

•••

“Alright! This was it already. Thank you for your cooperation mister Tember. You are free to go now. I’ll take care of the necessary paperwork and equip you with a wheelchair until you’ve rebuild your muscles. I can’t thank you enough for your cooperation in this matter, really!”, mommy beamed down at Loui and the baby could only blink.

What was she talking about? Also why did mommy call him like this? She never called him like this. Not even when she was mad! He was her Loui… wasn’t he? Mommy was being weird.

“Now, I’ll get some assistants to prepare you for your safe return to your home and I expect to see you back at the workplace in about two weeks!”

Work…place? The words felt weird just rolling around in his head. What did mommy mean? Why was she being so silly?

“I know such a one hundert and eighty degree turn can be hard but that’s why you get those two weeks payed vacation mister Tember! Now, Len!”

And then daddy grabbed Lou with a very very weird expression.

Theoretically Lou knew what that meant.

Something deep down in him anyway.

He had won. He got to return to his normal life and finally could quit his act of being the perfect little baby boy for daddy.

He should be happy? He supposes…

He can finally baffle them with the fact that he tricked all of them. That no one had realized he was faking.

But for that…

So he just needs to snap out of it.

Exactly…now.

Right now!

Now!

Come on.

He blinked in concentration while sinking into his daddy’s side.

Quit the act!

Quit it.

…

…now?

Quit it already!

Stop shaking and…and…

But…he suddenly found he didn’t want to quit his act.

…want…?

Was it…want?

No.

He tried to hold onto his daddy harder.

He suddenly found he didn’t know how to quit his act. Not when his Daddy was holding him like this.

Not when he was shaking like this.

Not when he was this perplexed.

This scared.

The realization made him halt. It made his lungs squeeze in panic but his brain so so empty.

So he just wordlessly stared when daddy put him into a pull-up instead of a diaper. He wordlessly stared when daddy dressed him in weird scratchy adult clothes. He only stared when some weird people in weird clothing ripped daddy away and it was the first time Loui saw something other than happy smiles or tears on that face of his caretaker. Or was it?

They sat Lou into a wheelchair instead of daddy holding him like usually. He squirmed, their covered hands sticky and cold. They stank like rubber and alcohol.

The shoes on his feet felt weird. They were clunky and heavy and felt like bricks. He couldn’t move them.

The shoes agitated his skin and rubbed painfully when he tried.

He felt how his heartbeat quickened when they started to move out of the only area he had known for what felt like forever. Like his whole life.

They had left Lily behind!

He didn’t have his Lily!

Panicked he tried to ask his daddy for her. But daddy…wasn’t there.

Was he about to get punished?! Daddy was never there when he got punished.

But…but mommy wasn’t there either!

That was enough for Lou to start completely tearing up. It’s too much.

Where these people gonna punish him?

He didn’t want those people to punish him!

Why were they doing this?

Was he bad?

He didn’t want to go back there!

He couldn’t go back!

He was way too broken now to ever get it back together to go to normal again!

He couldn’t breathe.

At least let him take his Lily.

The car ride was even worse. He couldn’t look up. His brain didn’t allow him to. He didn’t want to see the weird people. He couldn’t. But this made him nauseous. He swallowed down the saliva that started gathering under his tongue. That made it worse though. He could feel the blood draining from his face. He shivered in the car seat.

Daddy never came back. Even after the weird people gave him weird stuff and made him do weird stuff and everything was weird.

Even after Loui had screamed for him. Screamed himself hoarse.

The people had touched him and poked him.

It was all hazy and fuzzy and Loui hated it. He couldn’t process this.

He blinked more tears away that threatened to spill over.

There was a person next to him on the backseat. He could feel their burning gaze on him. But again, he never dared to look their way.

He was too entranced by his own fingers. That’s what he told himself. He was kneading them, twisting them into each other until they hurt. He wished he had his Lily. Or even just the bunny. Or his paci. Something. Just something.

It was when he was absolutely sure he’d throw up in a few seconds that the car came to a halt.

When they arrived in the sterile house the weird people pushed Loui inside and let him stand just like this in the entryway.

But maybe Daddy will still rescue Loui from this? He had been a good Loui hadn’t he? He had done everything they wanted from him!

Although…

He had thrown one or two tantrums.

Did they…not want him anymore?

Lou bit his lip hard. It hurt.

Was Daddy mumbling something behind him right now?! Loui hadn’t been able to understand it. Was that Daddy? Surely he’d jump out from behind the corner! Ready to rescue his Loui.

But when he looked around, daddy disappeared again…or had he never been there? Loui started hiccuping again. Loud sobs falling out of him.

Another weird person behind him touched his shoulder and Lou flinched.

The punishment?

Why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why

Lou couldn’t hear his own thoughts over this question. Or maybe that question was all of his thoughts.

He didn’t know.

But repeating it kept him silent.

If he was silent he was being good. And if he was being good they wouldn’t abandon him. Surely they wouldn’t.

He swallowed down another hiccup.

He was a good boy!

He was!

Why where they scaring him like this now?

“Erm…It’s okay. You will do great. I- I’m absolutely convinced of that. You can be a big boy for mister perfect mh? And I’m sure he will check in on you as soon as he’s let back out, okay?”

The weird voice from behind Lou quietly slipped him Lily.

A cry of relieve left him as he dug his fingers into her soft fur.

At least Loui had his Lily.

Daddy knew.

Daddy smuggled her here just for Loui. Because daddy will make it all better. Daddy wouldn’t leave Loui here all alone.

This was just a cruel joke and any moment now daddy will be right here and go ‘oh silly daddy, sorry for scaring you like this. This was just a stupid game from mommy.’ And then they’ll hug and kiss and cuddle and everything will be alright and and and

And then the door clicked shut.

The only source of light was shut out.

Lou was left all alone in the dark of this hallway. All alone in this dark house.

He remembered he had always thought,
that there was nothing worse than to be in his house.

But well, it turns out it is even worse when he’s completely alone.

He never knew how big his house actually was.

Or maybe he was just too small for it.

•••

Had Sabrina overreacted?

What?!

Noooooooo.

Pah.

She’d never.

She shook her head. Nonesense. She never overreacted.

She did everything magically right.

She was just making rational decisions.

It had been pretty clear that this arrangement wouldn’t be forever.

Obviously.

The reaction of those headboard-bitches had just kind of sped the whole thing up.

She could have saved the whole god damn world! She was supposed to be remembered with bronze statues and as-

If those idiots had simply seen the absolute genius plan Sabrina had constructed-

She had to stop the thoughts when her nails broke the skin on her arm, drawing blood. She pulled a face.

Criminals?!

Criminals?!

She watched as red beads formed on her skin, growing larger and larger until surface tension wasn’t enough anymore and they slipped to run along her arm. Tickling when they brushed over hairs and more sensitive places.

Not even normal criminals to minimize criminal activity and empty out overfull prisons, no! Fucking dead people!

They were going to keep socially and juristically dead people alive and thriving through her fucking research?!

Waste of resources.

She dipped one of her fingertips into the red drops, smudging it a little, ruining the perfectly round bead.

They were misusing everything she had worked so hard for!

She couldn’t stand looking at the failure that had ruined everything for her.

Sabrina took a deep, shuttering breath, pouring some disinfectant over her fingertip and arm, reminding herself that that was how all the grand genius people before her had been treated as well. But it only calmed her down so much.

Pain ran through her system. She bit her lips.

She was more than furious.

She was burning from the inside out.

They ripped away her trophy right before her very eyes.

•••

“You’ll be let out once you’ve calmed the fuck down! I will not have you malfunctioning!”, she screeched.

Len stared.

His throat was tight.

He adjusted his collar.

It’s fine. It’s fine.

It’s their baby. Sabrina would never do something too over the top. So it’s fine. She knows what she’s doing. It’s fine.

But it’s not fine.

Why couldn’t Len be with his baby?!

He thought about the last words.

‘Calmed down’.

He forced his body to go lax. Relaxed his facial muscles. Especially unclenching his jaw. Then his hands, his shoulders.

The next time she came he was ‘calmed down’.

“I’m sorry. I just didn’t know how to react to the emotions. I’ve adapted.”, he smiled at her. His body language showing no hint of aggression. Just like three had shown him once.

Her stance visibly relaxed. Her shoulders slummed forward slightly.

She gave a sigh.

“It’s alright Len. You did great. I’ll test some things and if I see it fit, I may even send you to check up on him. But only if I see you fit for it.”

“Of course. That’s only natural.”

•••

Chapter Text

•••

After a long while, Lou wasn’t even sure how long, he started to finally calm down some.

It’s okay, he mused.

It’s okay. He’s okay.

He took a deep breath that got caught somewhere along the way and started coughing. A lot. He was on the verge of tears again when it had stopped. If he hadn’t stopped he’s sure he would have really made himself sick. Though his throat still tingled uncomfortably.

It’s okay.

He slowly wrapped his arms around himself, mindful of Lily in his hand.

It’s fine. He just…he just had to come out of his role.

Yes.

He straightened his back.

He archived what he wanted and now he was free!

…free.

He’s free?

The longer he thought about it the more he questioned the word. What did he mean with that? ‘Free’.

He stared at the ground in front of himself.

His gaze found shoes, haphazardly thrown into the corner. Dust all over them. A spiderweb stretching across them to the pot with a dead plant inside.

He squinted at them. Then at the shoes on his own feet.

He could do this.

One step at a time.

Lifting his leg up was very easy. At first. But as he took too long at trying to untangle the shoelaces his leg started shaking. Then his arms. Eventually his whole body was quivering.

His leg fell back down and hit the corner of some weird part of the weird wheelchair.

He bit his lip hard.

Frustrated tears clouding his vision.

He took a shuttering breath. It’s okay. He’s okay. He’s okay.

He…he’s gonna leave them on for now. Just…just till…till…later.

He stared back at his hurting feet.

And now?

He squeezed Lily as if she had the answer to his question.

He couldn’t just sit in the hallway forever.

But…

What else should he do?

He swallowed. His throat dry and itchy. He gave a little cough when the scratching started biting at his eyes.

So…he won?

When did he start thinking about ‘winning’?

He shook his head.

This is too much. Too big. He didn’t want to think. Maybe if he just sat here a bit longer, his head would finally clear back up?

He tried that.

He tried it for forever.

But the silence was so loud. It wasn’t like the silence in his nursery. It was weird.

It should have been the same kind of silence.

Lou felt antsy.

His skin crawling.

He’s an adult, …damn it.

He…he can do this. He doesn’t need daddy. He doesn’t. Really. He was just pretending to. And he’ll prove it now.

He’ll prove it right now.

Now.

Right now.

With another deep breath he slowly starts to try and move the wheelchair forward.

At first it doesn’t butch at all. Lily almost slips down his lap but he catches her fast enough before she tumbles down.

“Sorry.”

He lets her softly.

It takes everything in himself to actually get the thing moving. Then he manages to get into the kitchen.

He doesn’t manage to stop fast enough and lightly smashes into the counter.

He hisses in an attempt to not start sobbing again. Adults don’t cry. They don’t!

The wheelchair felt uncomfortable and unnatural, but he slowly adjusted to it the more he tries.

He continued to explore the home, taking in the sight of the very familiar and yet extremely unfamiliar environment. As his anxiety started to settle, he began to feel curious and even a bit excited about the prospect of being on his own.

Isn’t that what he had wanted?

…isn’t it?

With a newfound determination, he started to at least try and make the most of this. He would handle this like an adult and not give in to the fear that plagued him!

Yes!

That fear…was nothing!

That had a chokehold on him.

That made him shiver.

He closed his eyes.

Just continue. Don’t think.

He lightly brushed Lily’s soft fur against his cheek.

Things seemed to be going well after that.

He was still tentative and confused about some things, but he gradually started to adjust to the wheelchair and his new surroundings.

This is good.

See?

You’re an adult!

Very good!

Good boy.

As the day went by, albeit slowly, the house became a little more familiar and he felt more comfortable with just Lily and his own company.

It helped that this wasn’t a completely new place.

Although all he really did and could think of doing was standing, or rather, sitting in one place and talking to Lily.

He could still feel his own breath hitching from time to time. Air coming to his lungs not as easily as it should have.

But that’s entirely normal, he told himself.

Daddy would be so proud of him!

Okay…he had to do more adult stuff.

He had just sat Lily onto the counter and managed to get himself a glass. His goal was simple: fill the glass with water.

Easy!

Really…

The glass felt weird in his hand and slippery. He had both hands cramped around it, scared of letting it go accidentally.

No no.

It’s all good.

He gave a proud huff.

He didn’t dare to fill it up completely. It was at about one third of the glass that he stopped.

Pulling the glass away resulted in minor spillage but nothing bad.

Very good.

Good job.

Now…

He stared at the glass clutched in his hands.

Yeah, now…

Drinking?

Mhm.

He looked from the glass to Lily and back.

Then he slowly brought the glass closer to his mouth. The seconds that went by felt like hours to him as he watched his own movement attentively.

It’s fine.

He’s doing so good.

So good.

Good boy.

The glass clanked against his front teeth and he almost instinctively wanted to throw it back away. But he stopped himself just in time.

No no.

He shook his head before trying again.

He couldn’t exactly suckle. That wouldn’t work.

So he tipped the glass higher up. Tilting his head with it.

Some of the water finally touched his tongue and he giggled.

Then sputtered.

Then he couldn’t breathe anymore.

He coughed and gagged as he tried to register what has just happened.

At a particular harsh gag he felt the glass tumbling out of his hand. He jerked forward, trying to catch it and was too slow.

He slipped forward in the wheelchair.

Then he could only register that it hurt.

The minutes after that were a blur.

He didn’t even know where he was. It was all dark and there was no air. It was just wet and cold and it hurt.

Where was Lily?!

Even more panicked he tried to grab for her.

Nothing.

It took ages till his brain finally allowed Loui to decipher what he was seeing and feeling.

Ah.

He blinked up through his tears.

He was on the floor.

Loui sniffed. A pathetic whimper escaping him as he rubbed at the side of his leg.

The scratchy shirt was all wet now.

Lily was on the counter. Right.

He looked around. The wheelchair.

He could get to Lily if he managed to get back up!

He grabbed at the thing. His weak arms doing everything to hold his weight.

He was almost back on when suddenly it moved.

Loui was so startled by it, that he grabbed on harder on one side.

It happened so fast.

The wheelchair tripped slowly and then it was on its side. Louis finger had gotten slammed into the ground under it.

He bit his lower lip.

Also his neck got jostled. It hurt.

It hurt.

Everything hurt.

He quickly pulled his finger out. It pulsed. And it got all red.

He sniffed.

S okay. Okay. He’s okay.

Very, very carefully he grabbed onto the top of the counter and pulled himself off the ground just enough to see Lily and snatch her. Then he fell back onto the ground with a thud. He whimpered.

It’s fine.

He has his Lily now! It’s fine.

He petted her repeatedly to forget about everything around himself and soothe the ache in his finger.

It’s fine.

Because Lily is fine. So Loui is also fine. Simple. Logical. Of course!

He moved himself towards the door and stayed in the doorway. Learning on the frame.

He looked at Lily.

Maybe…if he distracted himself with Lily a little, everything will be fine again. And then he isn’t playing with her but actually just acting like an adult and distracting himself!

Yeah!

So, despite bunny not being here, Loui resumed the story he had planned with his two stuffies.

Just that bunny made himself invisible because he wanted to surprise Lily!

…

Maybe daddy also was just invisible?

No! Play!

Don’t think!

Wait! No not play!

Distract!

Yeah…

He continued.

A loud noise from outside startled him out of his peaceful reverie however. His anxiety immediately returned, and he struggled to collect himself.

As he tried to gather his thoughts, another loud noise followed, sending him into a panic. He felt trapped and terrified suddenly.

“Daddy?”

He wanted nothing more than to be safe and sound in his nursery, in his crib, on his daddy’s lap, but that option had been taken away from him.

Taken away.

Mh.

No no.

He took a shuttering breath.

That was just…what had that been?!

He swallowed.

Thunder?

Maybe.

Okay.

Okay that’s fine.

Just thunder.

That’s nothing.

What to do now?

There were so many choices.

Too many.

But still somehow none.

He felt blank as he stared at the door frame.

He couldn’t do this.

Why should he be the one to decide all this?

Daddy or mommy always made the choices for him. It felt all so overwhelming.

He hiccuped.

Okay. It’s okay.

What did he always do when…when…before this?

He’d….he’d do…work! He’d do work! Yes. Let’s do work!

Mhh work…

Deciding to leave the dreaded wheelchair on its side and on the ground where it belonged, Loui started to crawl through his house. His gaze fixed on the door of the work room.

When he finally reached it, his knees hurt.

His nursery had soft carped and-

No no.

No nursery.

Work!

He stretched up to push at the already partly open door, swaying slightly when he lost his balance a little.

The door was looking pretty broken and made some ugly sounds.

Finally though it was open wide enough for him to fit through it and he shuffled inside.

He suddenly felt excited at the prospect of being able to show Lily his work.

She’d be so impressed!

He giggled as he made her look around.

It was when he was right in the center of the room and his gaze fell onto the pc and all those papers that were spread all over the room that he stopped.

He didn’t want to stop. He hadn’t planned on it. But his body didn’t listen to him.

A shock ran through him. It hurt. It left a prickly feeling inside that scraped over his bones. He got goosebumps when he moved his eyes towards one particular paper that laid right before him.

He gasped for air when it got knocked out of his lungs from another shock of electricity.

Lily fell out of his hands onto the floor.

He couldn’t get her.

He was frozen.

He was trapped.

It hurt.

When he closed his eyes to try and get away from the shocks, they only felt closer. He was back in his kindergarten room.

Mommy didn’t like him looking at work. Baby’s didn’t do that.

Bad baby.

He grabbed his head, pulled at his ear and hair.

He- he- he- gone! He had to- to go way.

If he doesn’t look then mommy doesn’t hurt him.

He opened his mouth to apologize but suddenly he pulled in air loudly. He gasped and wheezed and heaped to get more air.

His head fuzzy and lightheaded.

That was what got him out of his state of paralyzes and made him grab Lily back into his arms.

He pressed himself out of the horrible bad room and shuffled over the floor.

The jeans rubbed and twisted at his skin and it burned like fire.

Loui looked up when he could finally breathe normally again.

He had moved farther than he had thought.

He looked around more, grabbing at his throat while doing so.

He suddenly found himself incredibly exhausted. He rubbed at his eyes.

Normally daddy would get him now and help him. He’d calm him down and put him down for a nap…. No first he’d get a bottle…

He sniffed. His thumb in his mouth.

No no no!

He had to be a big boy and put himself down for a nap!

Yes!

He looked around again.

The sofa.

He crawled towards it, noting how his diaper squished under him. Wet. Yuck.

Wait…pull-up.

No diaper.

Those are only for babies!

Only for good little babies with a daddy and-

He heaved himself onto the sofa. His arms quivering under his weight and they didn’t stop once he was curling up on top of the sofa.

He stared at the uncontrollable movements of his body.

He couldn’t even feel proud of himself for managing to get up here all by himself.

He just felt so tired and yucky and lost and-

He pressed Lily onto his eyes.

Maybe if he fell asleep then daddy would be back when he woke up because sooo much time passed and then daddy will clean Loui up and tell him what a good boy he was and-

And when he was sleeping then none of this was happening!

Right!

Because he was sleeping!

So…so he’ll just sleep. And stay here. On the sofa. Until daddy comes to pick him back up.

He pulled up legs up towards himself.

And he didn’t even attempt to get back up.

He didn’t know when, but once in a while someone would come inside and place food and water on the table.

Loui couldn’t eat it.

Sometimes he’d manage to drink the water. When they put it down right there and when they put a straw in it, he’d take a sip. But he couldn’t eat.

No matter how much he tried. No matter how much he would have wanted to or how much his life would have depended on it.

He couldn’t.

Even just thinking about it felt as if his skin was ripping apart. His organs rubbing along as if they were about to move out of his body.

No, he really couldn’t.

And every time he realized this he held onto Lily even tighter.

It didn’t matter.

If mommy and daddy didn’t want him anymore then why should he even eat? There was no point in it anyway. He didn’t even feel hungry. Just lonely. And sad.

Why should he do anything if it wasn’t for daddy?

Was there even anything he could do alone?

He had never done anything without him.

He couldn’t.

He curled up more into himself. Because at least then he could breathe. Albeit barely.

Far far away, deeply buried in his memory, he saw daddy’s silhouette on the sofa in the dark. Breath evened out in the silence.

His throat tightened.

That’s been a long time ago…but why did he feel like he could smell his daddy? Right here?

He pressed his face into the fabric of the sofa under him.

Why was he even still here if they didn’t want him? Why couldn’t he just jump right out the window?

Too late now.

‘At least now he isn’t messing everything up anymore.’

‘This is too funny.’

He pressed the palms of his hands onto his ears as best as he could while holding onto Lily.

He didn’t want to hear them anymore.

‘-he isn’t messing everything up anymore’

That…did he mess things up again? Was that why he’s left here again?

That must be it.

But…what did he mess up? What was it? Mommy had praised him so much. Daddy had cuddled him and everything was normal.

What did Loui do wrong??

What did he mess up for them to send him back?!

He chewed around on his lower lip. It felt funny but was a nice soother. Especially after it had turned numb some time ago. It almost substituted for the nice pink pacifier he usually had.

His face was hot as it scrunched up even more.

They hated him!

They never wanted to have Loui back ever.

He wanted his pacifier.

He pulled at the scratching jeans and damp shirt on his body. Shoes heavy and pulling down his feet. A million ants running over and under his skin, biting and hurting.

He wanted his onesie.

He shivered around more sobs.

He wanted his blanket.

He rolled further into himself.

Thunder growled outside. The electric shocks lighting up the room from time to time. His body twitching.

•••

When Len stumbled into that house, about four days later, he found his own blood boiling with disgust.

Not directed at his baby boy of course, but at the simple fact that Sabrina had made the command for them to leave him like this. At the simple fact that she had pulled him to ‘cool down’ in a locked room until he was ‘calmed down’.

Distantly he heard his sibling’s voice ringing in his ears ‘just like six’. But he pushed it back down. It wasn’t relevant. It never was. Never had been.

There was one person placed at the entrance. Len guessed he had been supposed to look after his baby. Or maybe just make sure he didn’t leave?

…like back then. When Len first met his baby. The pitiful thing, staggering around, only dirty words coming out of that mouth because of his poor condition.

Had Len looked just like that guard looks right now?

No. He‘d like to pretend that he had been better at his job.

The air in the house was stale. Not to say it stank. He pushed past some stuff that must have fallen to the ground when the baby had tried to play grownup.

He rounded a corner, passing the kitchen.

A glass was laying broken on the ground. It cracked under Len’s shoes.

He looked around.

The wheelchair was laying on its side.

Panic flooded Len. The baby probably fell and hurt himself!

What if-

He felt sick. He won’t even end that thought.

He continued on through the house.

Then he found him.

Curled up into a tiny little ball on the sofa.

His breathing was ragged and Len sucked in a sharp breath.

He practically fell forward to get to his boy and as soon as he was close enough the boy turned to face him.

The baby’s face scrunched up instantly, big crocodile tears falling.

“Daddy?”

The boy was faster in Len’s arms than Len himself could register.

If he had pulled the boy up or Louis had throw himself at him, Len didn’t know, didn’t register.

“It’s okay. It’s okay baby.”, he softly caressed the baby’s tear stained face. He looked awful. His eyes adorned with deep dark rings under them. They almost looked fallen in. The poor boy was probably dehydrated.

Len bit his own lip hard, drawing blood.

This was a more than hazardous situation!

Louis was obviously in great pain. His little fragile body shook and shook. His little hand clutching Lily in a way that looked as if he had held her in the same position for the past four days.

“I’ll be good daddy! I’ll be good! I’m sorry! I- I- daddy! I’m sorry!”, the boy was hyperventilating and Len tried everything to calm him back down.

But everything only resulted in his baby more and more worked up.

“It’s okay. It’s okay. I’m sorry. Daddy’s sorry. He shouldn’t have left you alone. Stupid daddy. Stupid daddy. It’s okay.”

Len let the boy cry until he finally passed out.

And then Len himself felt tears stream down his face. He blinked them away.

Why would Sabrina ever give him such a cruel order? She had hurt the baby so much. The baby that she told Len to protect. The baby Len had promised to that no one would ever hurt him.

And…he had let it happen.

So many weird emotions were ripping his gut apart. It felt as if lead had settled in his lungs. And there was that hot pulsing in his brain.

He couldn’t deal with so many emotions.

Blood loud in his ears, drowning out anything else.

He wasn’t designed to deal with so many emotions.

His yaw hurt, he was nauseous, his hands trembled. It didn’t stop.

The room was spinning.

Then he felt something inside of his head snap.

He calmed down quickly.

His thoughts stopped racing.

It shut off as if someone had pressed the light switch.

He loosened his tight grip he had had on his baby and let one of his hands travel through his own hair.

It’s steady now. The shaking gone in the blink of an eye.

There always had been discrepancies in Sabrina’s orders, he reasoned. They had been mostly easy to sort out though. After all, Len was able to set priorities. That’s what Sabrina had called her ‘biggest archivement’. So even though sometimes it had been difficult for him to figure stuff out, somehow this time he felt as if he never had anything easier in front of him.

The orders that Sabrina had given to him first were obviously the more important ones.

The recent ones were made while she wasn’t in a clear state of mind. She obviously had a defect herself.

Yes.

Right.

So it’s obvious which orders Len has to give priority.

Calmly he placed the baby back on the couch and stood up.

First he’d have to get his baby something to drink… he looked around the room.

No baby bottles.

He looked back down at his baby.

Ah! Injuries! Check for injuries.

And he’d have to get him cleaned up sooner rather than later. Better even, now.

Then he’d call for Sabrina… yeah.

Ideas flooded his head. But it all had to be in order. He needed her to help Loui first… he was looking so frail and sickly…then…

Yes.

One thing after the other.

“Nobody will ever hurt you again. Isn’t that wonderful?”, Len mumbled to his sleeping baby.

Chapter Text

•••

Everything has a strange, dream-like quality to it.

Loui’s hand twists the blanket under him. Over him? Beside him? It doesn’t matter. It’s somewhere and now is clutched in his fist.

Twisting and twisting. Twisting it off.

He sighs at the sound of his daddy’s voice.

Daddy did come.

Or was that a dream again? A hallucination like those from the last days?

A nice dream.

A nice hallucination.

Wanna go back.

Back to daddy.

Be quiet.

Don’t scare it off.

No hasty movements or it’s gone again.

This a nice dream.

Loui whines low in his throat but can’t feel it. Can only hear it far far away from himself. A clicking sound running through his skull.

He’s not an adult anymore.

He’s nothing anymore.

Maybe he is a baby?

But he’s not an adult anymore.

He’s not human anymore.

Lou is dead.

He’s a baby now.

He feels so small buried in this soft mass all around him.

He’s nothing without daddy. Not even a baby anymore.

Without daddy he’s dead.

With daddy he’s a baby.

And he likes daddy.

And daddy likes his baby.

He kicks his leg out completely involuntarily.

He’s not his body.

His body isn’t him.

He’s separated. Split. So far away.

His leg twitches.

It gets exposed to cool air and he shivered and whines. He tries to roll around but he’s too tiny to move under so much softness that drowns him.

He’s too small and too fragile.

He’s made out of glass. Porcelain. If he moves willingly, he’ll break.

He can only be moved. By someone that’s very gentle.

He gives up his struggles against the cool air. His eyes too heavy. His head too floaty and nice and fluffy. His eyes aren’t even open, he realizes. But that’s a small detail. It’s not important. Nothing is.

His head picks up comfortable static again.

He crashes down instantly as a response.

Too tired.

Too tiny.

Too soft.

•••

“What the fuck?!”

“How about I stay here and help him readjust. I don’t think leaving him alone was a good idea.”, Len repeated patiently.

Sabrina looked around, brows furrowed.

“That’s why you requested me to come here?! God fucking damn it Len. You could have just said that over the fucking call! I don’t have any fucking time for this.”, she nervously looked around and glanced at her phone and watch again and again.

Len cocked his head.

“But you told me that if I don’t know how to master and asses a situation safely I should always get you to be by my side.”

Sabrina sighed in defeat, throwing her hands up.

“I guess that could have been my mistake then!”, she added some swear words under her breath afterwards. Maybe it was meant as sarcasm. Len couldn’t tell. And he didn’t care.

“Jesus Christ, then stay with him here! I already have people here to take care of him but FINE! Just for one week though. Then he’s on his own. And I mean, completely. I won’t coddle him anymore! You won’t coddle him anymore! He’s a grown man after all.”

Len smiled at her reassuringly before pulling a confused grimace while looking around.

“But… I don’t feel like I’ll be able to do this without you. I have never worked alone in this kind of way. Also I think it would be important for you to give him a check-up…I think he’s really dehydrated.”

“But I don’t have any fucking time! Can no one here do their fucking job right?!”

Len made big eyes at her. She sighed while pinching the bridge of her nose. Her glasses lifting up slightly.

Len smiles until she opens her eyes again.

“Oh! Maybe you could send me number three. As assistance after you stabilized Loui. After all, number three’s purpose is human studies! I’m sure he can help me. And maybe it’ll help him too. Also, he’ll be out of your hair.”

And three did do a good job at bringing the baby his stuffy, from what Len could tell. So why not.

Sabrina blinked at him but then she grinned, already typing something on her phone. She was very fast. She really was in a hurry. Mh. As if her life depended on it.

Maybe that’s why she hasn’t changed her mind on her decision, even after all these days. She hasn’t had time to.

“God you are so perfect! Thinking this far ahead! Alright! I’ll get three shipped here. He’s of no use there anyway.”

“Thank you.”, Len smiled. Satisfied.

Finally he could start.

Sabrina just needed to stay here for a little.

Stabilize Loui because Len couldn’t.

Sabrina started pacing the halls with loud and impatient steps again while she made her call for three.

Len stared at her.

If she doesn’t quiet down soon she’ll wake the baby.

“What is going on?”, he asked when she shut her phone back off.

Maybe she’ll stop this if she just talks about it.

And she actually stopped!

But she looked livid.

“Some stupid suit investor is trying to fucking sue me! Well, us. Okay the facility. He’s threatening to pull his support off and wants a refund for all those years! Fucking billions! Stupid fucking rich shit suit. Throwing a tantrum because he won’t get what he wants. Tsk.”

“Oh really? Why?”, Len leaned back a little, glancing into the room in which he had put his baby boy down. He now was peacefully napping in there. Luckily. It has been a huge task.

“He says if I don’t give you to- Ah forget about it. Fucking forget about it! I don’t fucking care about that fucker. I won’t ever give you away. For no money in the god damn world. Not even under legal threat. That’s why you staying here for a week is actually coming in quite handy.”

She grumbled on and on.

“Legal threat? What’s that?”, Len hummed. Good thing his baby was still sleeping. That cute little sleepy pout with a little bit of drool. Ahhh he looked so sweet like this. Peaceful. No terror on his innocent features… a picture burned into Len’s memory. He shivered.

“He wants me to suck it up and run like a little bitch. But like hell I will. That shit head of a suit.”

That swearing was getting out of hand. Especially around the baby. What if the baby picks back up on that?!

But Len had to wait.

Be patient.

Think.

“Don’t you think you can already take a look at him? I really think-“

“Yeah yeah. Whatever.”

•••

There was something in his arm.

Loui whined.

In was in him.

Making parts of his flesh stretch around it in unnatural ways.

It hurt.

Daddy make it better.

Make it go away.

It didn’t leave soon. Not fast. Too slow.

But after seconds it stopped hurting.

Daddy had made it better.

Of course he had.

Loui was pressed into the soft cloud under him.

He was too weak against the weights over him.

He was nothing.

No. Not now, because daddy was here. He could hear his voice. Not understand but hear. Words were long. Complicated. Words were words. His brain just couldn’t decipher them. Those words.

Hands and gummy and warm and cold and daddy and mommy.

All over his body.

Was that mommy?

All bleeding together. He couldn’t entangle it. It was a blob. And he was in the middle of it.

Something linear had gotten formed into a blob with no start of end.

A nice dream.

Only now did Loui realize that the clicking sound in his head came from himself. From his mouth. From his tongue.

He whined more.

His hand caught something warm. He squeezed it so wouldn’t leave him alone in the cold again.

Warm and soft.

His cheek squished against it.

Daddy?

His mouth gurgled around nothing.

Nothing.

Nothing everywhere.

But soft nothing.

Warm nothing.

A nothing he liked.

Liked more than loud cracking thunder and silence so deafening.

Floating.

Floating floating floating.

Floating in nothing.

A nice dream.

•••

“We have to get rid of the sofa. That’s a huge hazard.”, Len thought out loud while they strolled into the living room in search for something sterile.

His poor baby hadn’t had anyone to change him and, from the look of it, hadn’t left the sofa even once in the last few days.

Irreparable damage.

His heart squeezed painfully. An image of his helpless boy struggling on there-

Even if it wasn’t soiled, he’d still want to burn it to ashes. Simply because of the pictures it set into Len’s head.

Sabrina humphed behind him. Her fingers squeezing her nose shut.

“Whatever you want to do, burn it.”, she pulled a face.

“Where’s the bathroom?! What the fuck. I just need some sterile towel or something.

She basically ran down the hall and eventually reentered the room the baby was napping in.

Len followed.

His poor poor thing. So exhausted he doesn’t even wake up…

Len bit his lip.

He hated himself. He took deep breaths to make himself settle.

It’ll all be over soon.

Then he can make up for it.

He’s promised himself and Loui that.

He wouldn’t break another promise ever again.

The door bell rang and Len had to rip himself away from his Loui to go and open up.

He almost just caught himself grumbling about it but stopped before it could happen.

A very confused and equally as pleased looking three stood there.

Len smiled at him.

“Hi seven! I brought the assistance stuff from the testing room.”

A bag got shoved into Lens arms without notice.

“Ah, thanks. Are you-“

“Okay, if that’s all.”

“Wow wow wow. Hey! What are you trying to do?”

Three blinked at his brother, who had currently grabbed onto his arm. Len loosened his grip almost immediately.

“I- I was supposed to assist by bringing the assistance materials… and I did that. Didn’t I?”

Len took a deep breath. Focus.

He gave a short glare back into the hallway before turning to the confused three with a beaming smile.

“Not only that. You misunderstood! You are here to assist me.”

“But…I did that already by bringing this here?”

“…not like this. Although, thank you. You’ll stay here with me.”

It took a short…long moment. Len could swear he could see gears turning inside his brothers head.

Then three’s eyes shot open.

“What? I can’t! I have my own orders! It is my purpose to-“

“Wait! They didn’t tell you? Actually, Sabrina has a new job for you. This is a whole new one! It’s really important.”

Three perked up. His eyes dancing around. They were slightly glassy, although they always were. Now it simply had caught Len’s attention. He gave a reassuring smile.

“Really?”, three looked at his brother with something close to desperation.

“Yeah. Sabrina?”, Len called out into the house. His stomach so uneasily twisting at the fact that he wasn’t with his baby and she was roaming around freely like this with her defect.

Alone with the baby…

But this was important. It was to avoid something even more hazardous.

“What?!”, Sabrina snapped at Len from within the house, slowly strolling towards both of them. Her hands ridding themselves of her gloves.

“I thought you brought three here for a reason?”, he coaxed.

“God you are a pain…AH! You are here!”, she danced towards three and pushed herself in between the two of them, standing on her tippy toes. “Great. But yeah right. I didn’t have time to tell you. You are here to assist Len. That should be your top priority right now. A new job for you since you failed miserably at the assistance at the facility.”, she clapped her hands and shrugged.

Easy.

Len looked at three. Three looked back. Confusion, but also motivation clear in his eyes.

Sabrina brushed over all of that as if she hadn’t even realized those feelings in the other. “I don’t have time for this shit! I have to be back in like an hour and the drive alone is already way too long for this.”

She ripped the bag out of Len’s hand, disregarding the sound that could be heard from his fingernails scraping the fabric.

She turned back into the house, leaving the two alone.

Len gave the confused three a big smile and a pat on his shoulder.

“See it as a social study, a social experiment of you so will. By assisting me I’m sure you can get lot’s of data on human behavior! And no one will pull you away or restrict you.”

“…really? Are you really sure? I- that’s my-“

“Hey. You call me mister perfect for a reason, don’t you? Also you heard her! Her word counts.”, Len pointed at his own lips with his index finger “So come on. Follow your purpose. Assist me.”, he pushed at the others shoulder to lead him inside.

Three shrugged. An enthusiastic smile edging onto his features to replace the confused wrinkles.

“Alright, I guess. It’s not like I could not follow her orders anyway.”, he laughed. His step gaining that feathery light jump he always got when he had a new job.

“Yeah.”, Len hummed.

•••

Sabrina paced the hallway.

Everything here was disgusting.

She wrinkles her nose at the mess.

Her phone beeped again with another alarming message.

The suit was now not just trying to bribe her but actually threatening her. No, not just her. The whole facility.

And now Len also wants to leave her.

Ah okay she’s being dramatic.

But let her have this one thing!

She turned on her heel more violently while biting at her nails.

Bullshit.

This is all bullshit.

It was all supposed to be good now.

That had been her plan.

And she had planned so carefully. Her twenty year plan. All gone. Just like this.

It was supposed to be good now!

Why wasn’t it good?!

She had to leave. It could still get good if she left now and worked fast.

But she felt something deep inside of herself being opposed to leaving Len now. There was just something that kept her on edge here. Her ears were ringing.

She had already given Tember a transfusion and shown Len some stuff that could help him take care of ‘that’. Three was here.

But she had to leave.

She nervously looked around.

Then onto her watch.

Shit.

She took a deep breath.

They’ll be fine.

He’s save here. The suit can’t get him. Her baby. Her perfect creation. She won’t ever give up Len.

“Sabrina?”, the call came from the kitchen.

Sabrina whipped around. It was as if the call had pulled her out of deep, loud water she had been drowning in.

It got her back to reality.

“What?!”

She strutted towards the voice.

Len stood there, a bright smile on his face.

“I think we really have to take of your problem.”

At least someone has some sense in this god damn world!

But if he understands that much, let her go!

“Yeah! That’s why I need to get the fuck back to the facility! Best, this instant! Now! Len!”

A beam of light fell into the room, hitting Len’s perfect face. It lit up his eyes, making them glow oh so pretty and Sabrina stared into them, admiring her baby.

“Oh, not that one.”, he shakes his head playfully. The black hair in its perfect length falling down and partly over his eyes, like curtains “I meant your little malfunction.”

•••

Chapter Text

•••

Len stared at the room with disgust. He had never liked that one.

Now it was a mess and bile was laying on the floor.

Most likely from his baby.

He tutted.

His baby had tried to go against the rules and work. Shaking his head he decided that this was something for three to clean up.

Len had to figure out how to handle this information.

His baby clearly hasn’t been able to get far. And he’s suffering a lot already. Still…this didn’t sit right with Len.

He’d keep it in mind for when his Louis was in a bit more of a healthier state again.

Thoughtfully he went back into the hallway to take course of the bedroom. His hands stroking across the fabric of the clothes that hung neatly over his left arm. A glove fell down from the movement and he picked it back up, blowing some dust particles away.

“Seven? What-?! Wha-“

“Mh? What’s the matter?”, Len meets three’s gaze. What’s his- “…ah! This? It’s nothing. Don’t worry! First we have to take care of the baby, yes? You are here to assist me, remember three? So, can you take this and put it somewhere safe for me?”, he stretched out the arm with the clothes and three took them without question.

“Oh and could you please clean out the study?”

“Clean out? You’ll have to be more specific.”

“Clean the throw-up and throw away everything that isn’t suited for babies.”

Three tilted his head.

“I’ll try my best.”

“Thanks.”

A muffled noice caused Len to quickly pass by his sibling.

Entering the room Len first thought his baby was awake because of the almost frantic moving. Louis was caught up in the blankets and struggling desperately to get free. His little nose twitching and his face scrunched up. But his eyes were closed tightly.

He was having a nightmare, Len concluded.

He’s had some before… however, the circumstances here were different. It caused Len to stop for just a second.

But he pushed through that quickly again.

This environment had his head feeling all too empty.

But at least he had his baby to focus on.

Yes. It’s all good.

•••

Loui gasped awake when hands grabbed at him.

Hands. Hands everywhere.

Rubber and alcohol and faceless faces speaking in a language he couldn’t comprehend.

When he tried to scream, nothing came out.

Nothing.

And he tried so much that his throat felt hoarse.

Panic.

No one would hear him.

No one would come. They didn’t know where he was.

And he couldn’t tell them!

He wanted-

“Daddy!”

“Shhh. It’s alright. Baby, daddy’s right here. Shh.”

Loui gasped while tightly twisting his weak fingers around daddy’s arm.

Daddy!

Where-when-why-

“Hey there. Hi.”, daddy gave a soft smile and waved at Loui with his free hand. Loui focused on it. Grabbed it before he realized it. His hands keeping daddy in place. Just right. He squeezed the flesh.

He wasn’t even sure if he was even blinking anymore.

But he could hear daddy. He had grabbed daddy. And Loui didn’t feel the squeeze he did so he really was grabbing at daddy and not at himself. So it’s not a dream.

That’s daddy!

It’s really him!

He didn’t leave again! It wasn’t a dream! He came back!

“There there. My poor boy.”, daddy lifted the tiny baby Loui was, up high into his lap. The strong arms holding Loui secure and reassuring and-

Loui but his lip. Tears pricking his vision.

“D-daddy.”

“I’m here. I’m here, it’s gonna be okay.”, the deep voice rumbled and settled inside Loui’s ears.

“Shhhh. Baby, please don’t cry now. You can cry it all out later but you- baby, honey, I know. I know. Shhhh.”, Daddy bounced his leg and moved Loui up and down and up and down and up and down.

It felt similar to the bouncer.

Up down, up down.

Loui gave a weak and watery giggle.

“You like this mh? There you go. Silly baby. You need to keep some water inside mh. Humans need water darling. You really scared daddy. Silly boy.”, daddy shook his head and then pressed Loui tightly against himself.

His nose pressed to Louis neck and the deep breaths tickled the baby. Loui squirmed around.

A sudden sting ran through his bottom.

“Ouch.”

Loui looked at daddy, confused. Did Loui get a spanking? He hiccuped.

“Oh no no no. It’s all good baby! You got a little rash down there because you are just a baby. And no one was here to take care of you. It’s all mommy’s fault. Daddy’s so sorry. It’ll all be gone before you know it, I promise Loui.”

“Mommy?”, Loui perks up. He felt so tired now that his heart stopped doing that racing motion and the hot sweat started to cool. He slowly slumped against daddy, scooting in a way that made it possible for him to feel daddy’s heartbeat.

“Now now. You can sleep later okay? How about this, we two will go get us something to drink and then daddy will tell you a story and you can have a little nap?”

Drowsily, Loui nodded.

He’s missed getting a bottle from daddy the most. So, even though he’s so so sleepy, his eyes barely stay open anymore, he fought against it.

But in the end, all that was for nothing.

Loui dumbly stared at the straw daddy was holding to the baby’s mouth.

Baby’s don’t drink from a glass with a straw inside.

Loui didn’t like the glass.

And the straw only appeared from those weird people while Loui had been all alone!

…where were those people?! Did they give that to daddy??

No…no there’s no one else.

Just daddy.

So daddy did this by himself.

Daddy chose a straw.

Was Loui that bad.

Did he not deserve a bottle anymore?

He turned his face away. His bottom lip quivering.

“Loui baby, please. Just one or two sips. Could you please do it? Can you be a good boy and take a little sip for daddy?”

‘Be a Good boy’ ?

Loui sniffled.

Maybe this is a test. Maybe…maybe if Loui does this, then it’ll all go back to normal? Maybe Loui just has to proof himself!

Okay…he’ll try.

For daddy.

He timidly closed his lips around the straw and sucked.

He had gotten more used to the straw in the last days. But he hates every second of it.

After to sips he slums back against daddy, shoving the glass as far away from himself as possible. Even though daddy was holding the glass in his hands.

“Thank you baby. I’m proud of you! There you go.”

Loui was too tired to form the questions that were building inside of his head.

“Now we can go cuddle and sleep mh. Doesn’t that sound nice?”

Loui barely remembers anything after those words.

The next thing his brain processes is a soft mattress.

Daddy’s arm was over him.

Heavy and warm.

Loui gave a content sigh. His head fuzzing over in warm and soft butterflies. He suddenly felt so light and happy. As if nothing bad had happened.

Because now daddy’s here.

Nothing bad happened.

Yes.

Right.

That’s it.

He shuffled closer to daddy. Scooting slightly on top of him.

Daddy’s breath was even and his eyes were closed.

Sleeping.

That’s good.

If daddy’s sleeping, he can’t leave.

“Hey, Mister Perfect I-“

Loui shot up, as far as he could shoot up.

Who was that?!

What was that?!

Someone…something? Was standing in the door.

Perfectly illuminated and yet Loui felt as if he couldn’t see right.

A monster.

That’s a monster.

Blood shoot, red eyes. Glassy and wide opened, staring right at him. Right into his soul. Loui scrammed his nails into daddy’s clothes.

There is no way that is human.

It’s scary.

It’s wrong.

There’s something wrong with that.

“Hi baby. Is seven asleep? Could you wake him?”

The sentence, although simple, didn’t process in Loui’s head fast. It sunk in slowly, slowly, word for word.

The off stressing of the wrong parts in the sentence wasn’t helping.

A monster that pretended to be human.

It’s looking at daddy.

As if it knows daddy.

And it knows daddy?

How did it know daddy?

Is it trying to take daddy from Loui?!

No.

No no no no.

Not now!

No.

Loui can’t-

No monster.

Loui didn’t want a monster. He didn’t want that monster. He didn’t like this!

“Are you okay? Your breathing-“

“Daddy!”, Loui cried out when the monster took a step forward.

It’s blinking irregular and irises too big and blank.

“Louis?”, daddy rubbed his eyes and pulled Loui into the safety of a tight hug.

“What’s the matter bab- oh honey. Did you have an accident? I’m sorry.”

Accident?

That’s when Loui felt the clammy hot wetness traveling along his legs, into his pants and over daddy’s pants.

“Sorry,” Loui mumbled. He was a bad boy. He’d woken Daddy up and peed on him and -

Daddy will leave again.

Loui was bad so…so he failed the test.

The monster will take daddy.

He failed.

He’s not a good boy.

He’s bad.

Bad bad bad.

“Ba-d-“

He-

“Deep breaths baby! Hey. It’s okay. It’s okay. Tell me what’s wrong. What are you trying to say mh” Len coaxed. “Daddy can’t fix it unless he knows what’s having you so worked up.”

“D-daddy…you…you ‘way,” Loui whimpers unintelligibly, “Gone.”, his trembling hand wildly points onto the place the monster was standing still.

•••

Len feels as if he had been thrown off a cliff for a second. It turns out, he takes too long to answer.

“M sorry. M all bad an-“, he hiccuped. “Mon-mon-st-“

“You aren’t bad! Oh baby no! Daddy’s so sorry for making you think that way!”, he gathers himself again. His yaw clenched.

Only then did Len notice number three, awkwardly standing around in the doorway.

“Sorry! I- i think I scared him. I thought he’d be asleep and you were up but it was the other way around.”

“It’s fine. He’s just not used to people other than me.”

“Or it’s because of the reason the others have sai-“

“Don’t he ridiculous. Why would ‘you’ be scary? Just look at yourself. Really, he’s just overwhelmed, I promise. There there honey.”, Len whipped Loui around for a little to calm him down.

“He probably though you would take him away again to be lonely.”

“Okay…”

“What did you want?”, Len asked over the piercing wails and through detangling himself from the now soiled sheets and standing up.

“I finished in the study. The trash is full. I don’t know what to do about that.”

“Erm…”, Len was now standing and bouncing his baby up and down. It seemed to help the first time around so, why not? But really, Len had no idea how to answer that.

“We’ll find something. Now I have to take care of the baby… did you bring diapers with you?”

Three was suspiciously quiet.

Len gave a sigh. How could they have forgotten about something so basic?!

“I was only supposed to bring the assisting utensils. I-…I don’t have anything else.”

“…okay.”

Len takes a deep breath.

How could Len, as a dad, forget about diapers for a baby?!

He was all over the place.

He had to focus.

His baby needed him. He needed his daddy.

Okay. Let’s go over the information they had.

No bottles. No pacifier. No diapers. Dwindling supply of towels and bedsheets.

Okay.

It could be worse.

They’ll find something.

Surely.

First, though, Len has to clean his baby up. He didn’t want the already quite bad rash to get even worse.

That’s not the kind of punishment he’d want for his baby boy to get.

Never pain.

“Could you start the water in the bathtub for him?”

“On the way.”

“Thank you.”

Len pressed the hiccuping baby closer to himself. Loui is already losing so much water again… dangerous.

He brushed his thumb over his baby’s tears on his cheek.

He took a closer look at his boy.

Just from looking at him, a person could tell that there were no adult thoughts left in his precious little head, exactly the way that it should be.

His poor boy.

All distraught.

Len took a deep breath.

Such a small baby. So fragile. Just out like this in the way too huge world. The thought alone is nightmare inducing.

Len shivered.

“It’s alright honey. Did you see that man? That was your uncle. Mhm. Yes, that was your uncle. You’ll get to know him a lot better later, daddy promises.”

Loui pushed himself further into Len and gave a distressed sound.

“I know, I know. So much weird and new stuff is happening. I know. But you are doing to well. So well for me. Daddy has such a good little boy. You are being so good for me.”

Carefully Len bend down to pick up Lily, who must have fallen off the bed. “Look who it is.”

The bath went about as well as Len expected.

The water hurt Loui at the places where he had the rash. Trying to clean him was even more difficult than just getting him into the water had been.

He was screaming himself hoarse and holding onto Len for dear life.

Len swallowed hard.

It’s okay. This had to happen like this. Otherwise his baby would have suffered even more.

Currently they were in the living room. Loui had refused to stay in the bathroom. Hanging onto Len tightly. Which was adorable. Len should be happier about this.

Len had shoved the sofa so far away it was out of sight.

He had started the tv to kind of distract his baby while Len and three were trying to figure out what to do next.

“Couldn’t you…drive back to the facility and get his stuff from the nursery?”

Three fidgeted with a confused expression on his face.

“No. Seven, they shipped me here. I, unlike you, can’t drive.”

“Oh…”, Len takes a few seconds to reconsider “I’ll teach you!”

“No!”

“Well, what do we do then?! I can’t leave him here… he wouldn’t take well to being separated from me or being out there where other people are.”

“I-“

Three got interrupted by the loud advertisement coming from the tv.

“Our website provides games and play to make your kids learn and have fun while doing so! All of the tabletop games to play digitally can now also be played away from the screen! Simply visit our online shop. If you live in xxxx we guarantee same day shipping!”

“Online shop?”, Len perked up.

“Of course! The internet!”, three excitedly clapped his hands.

“Daddy?”

Len shot past his brother in a heartbeat.

“What’s the matter darling?”

Loui just lifted his arms up high while whining. His eyes shiny with even more tears.

Len scooped the baby right back up.

What was he thinking just leaving the baby on the floor like this? He must be so scared right now.

“There there. My good boy.”

“Daddy.”, Loui sighed, breathing much calmer again as a silent tear slipped down his cheek.

“It’s okay.”

The ‘internet’ will have to wait for a little while.

Chapter Text

“And…what do we do now?”, Len asked after he had clicked on everything that they would need. But he found he had ran into another dead end.

“Let me. I saw how Sabrina used it a few times. At the beginning she pulled me with her everywhere so I’d get to learn and adapt and stuff. She stopped after six and then you came around but I do remember some stuff from it.”, three ushered Len away from the screen and started typing hell knows what.

Impatiently Len peered into the room he had put his baby down for a nap in. His poor cranky baby…

It’ll all be good.

Len looks back over at what three is doing when notices no more movement coming from him.

“Oh…Credit Card… what’s that?”

“Erm…wait! Wait! Money! Something with money! I think Sabrina actually has one.”

“Well, that would be great!”, Len claps his hands together softly.

“Where did you put the clothes?”

“I’ll get them.”, three stood back up.

•••

“Hey there sleepy head.”, daddy cooed down at Loui.

The baby could only yawn. He wanted to sleep more! The bed was so nice! And Lily’s fur was so soft!

Also, Loui could finally really sleep. He could be at ease and he knew that daddy was here and he wouldn’t leave.

It all made his body feel so heavy and tired.

A happy tired though.

“Come on, let’s get up and going for the day baby.”, daddy cooed and lifted Loui rudely up from the bed.

He rubbed his eye with his fist as he fought against the light hurting his eyes.

“I know, I know. But you get a kiss because you are being so good for me.”

And at least daddy never breaks his word. Loui hums happily while dangling his feet.

Then they arrive in the kitchen.

Loui stares at the kitchen.

He still didn’t like the house. The mere thought of where he actually was made shivers run down his spine.

But even then, he still couldn’t help but notice when things in here changed.

And this wasn’t a difficult change to spot!

A huge shelf standing in all the wrong places! It’s supposed to be in the little storage room! Right there! Not in front of it! Pff. Silly daddy.

Loui shook his head.

“We have to wait a little for useful things to come to us but I found some crackers, wouldn’t you like some crackers baby?”, daddy dangled a package that crinkled and reflected light really prettily right into the viewpoint. Daddy just dangled it right in front of Loui’s eyes!

He squirmed around, making grabby hands at it.

“Oh, careful there honey!”, daddy laughed as he took course of the dining table.

A scratching sound brought Loui’s attention back to the shelf though. Right there in the corner, in front of the storage room.

“Don’t you want your crackers? Well, I guess Lily will get them then.”

“No!”

Mean daddy!

Although… he apologetically petted Lily’s head. They could share, he supposes. It’s not like some old crackers were anything to fight over… it’s just that they come from daddy!

Ahhhh decisions are difficult!

“I’m sorry, daddy was being a big meanie, wasn’t he?”, daddy chuckled and Loui could help but smile back.

It was all good now.

A loud ‘thud’ came from the corner.

“Don’t worry baby, that came from the tv. It’s on. But first we have to eat and drink something.”

Tv?

And here Loui thought already…

No. That’s stupid!

As if shelves could make noises! Silly Loui. He’s so stupid.

He happily accepted the little cracker.

Hours, three cups of water, a packet of crackers and two accidents later, their cuddle and tv time on the floor got rudely interrupted by the doorbell.

And daddy allowed the baby another nap!

Loui sighed as he melted into a puddle on the mattress, nuzzling Lily that smelled a little like daddy now.

•••

“Now that really won’t fit. Why is it so small?”

“I…I don’t know… I don’t understand…I bought baby stuff.”, Len lifted one of the pink onesies out of one of many boxes.

“Ohhh! Well, you do know that that human of yours isn’t actually a small baby, right?”, three refolded the clothing he had held up high and put them back.

Len stared at his brother. Silently judging his sanity.

“…Right?”, three asked again.

“He is a tiny baby.”, Len was confused. Was three broken as well? Oh please not. He can’t handle two. He can barely handle one! How will he repair two?!

“Yeah yeah, just…”, three gave an exasperated sigh. “You know what? Forget about it… I‘ll take care of the buying.”

Len passed him the phone. Let’s give him a little more time… under surveillance.

“But at least your human has some play stuff now. And we have nutrients!…let’s see…what else could we use? Oh-“, three stopped rummaging through the boxes. “What’s that? Medical equipment?”

“Surgical.”, Len hummed and pulled the box towards himself. “For repairing.”

“Oh. Okay.”, three looks from the hallway towards the kitchen while licking his lips. “You think you can repair the defect?”

Len cocked his head.

“Well, she did it with six’s defect as well.”

“Yeah, but you do remember how that ended, don’t you?”

Len remains silent. It has to work. And either outcome is fine with him. His hands tighten to fists in his lap.

“When do you want to try?”

“Slowly. A little tonight, tomorrow night, and on. As soon as possible. But just a little.”

“And she really has a defect like six? She doesn’t act like them.”

“She does. Differently, but the pattern is the same. You of all people should realize that!”, Len’s jaw tightened until he let out a harsh breath.

“We’ll see how it goes.”

•••

The next days only get better and better for Loui! He finally had a bottle again! It’s not the same…and it’s weird…but it’s not a straw. And daddy can finally give him milkies and feed him right again!

But he still has to wear weird adult stuff for a while…

That’s mean.

But maybe it’s a punishment Loui deserves.

And that kind of punishment is still better than spankings!

He doesn’t miss those one bit! Hehe!

…but he does miss mommy a little. Just a little though! And daddy makes it all better!

If only the…thing…wasn’t there. It mostly disappeared but sometimes it lingered in corners and behind crooked lines. Waiting. Preying. Loui swallows hard.

But other than that, everything is perfekt!

…okay…he has a lot of accidents. And now daddy always insists on putting some cold and icky cream onto his bottom! Yuck!

But he still loved daddy despite of that.

And daddy is doing so much for Loui. Daddy is doing too much! He looks so so tired and pale! Loui just wants to hug him and kiss him all better! The way daddy would do for Loui!

But daddy always says he’s fine…

Even though daddy is so much against lying…

Loui thoughtfully gnaws at his own fingers, pressing Lily tighter against his chest.

He hopes daddy doesn’t hurt himself! Loui needs him.

But there isn’t much Loui can do. There isn’t much his brain lets him do.

All he can do is coo and smile and whine and sleep.

He’s had a lot of dreams. No picture dreams. Just screams and scratching. Icky dreams. But daddy kisses it always better.

He’s so sleepy.

He yawns.

This night he especially wanted to wait till daddy comes to sleep with him!

But…just a little nap till then…

Loui wakes up to his covers rudely being ripped off of him.

He blinks awake, staring at someone that looks like daddy. A carbon copy.

Oh.

That is daddy!

Loui wonders, before a funny feeling rushes through his gut and he‘s momentarily weightless, tossed up into the air with a, “Angle fly,” before he’s back in the safety of his daddy’s strong arms.

Daddy takes him over to a different corner of the room. Simply standing there and swaying around in a soothing motion. Enough to make Loui’s heartbeat calm down again after the sudden scare.

"You are a clever boy, aren't you? Daddy’s special little baby, isn't that right? Mommy was such a silly thing, wasn’t she? Thinking she could ever take you away from me." His breaths are fast, thin. Almost distant. His body whipping almost in trance.

Loui peaks up carefully.

Hugely-dilated eyes sheltering something wild, shining brightly in the dim light. They spring out of the comforting face Loui is so used to. Yet they stare into nothingness. Black hair sticking to skin and shining as if they were wet. The hands holding Loui, just barely bordering painfully hard, yet shaky, as the nails dug into Loui’s skin just enough to leave indents.

The usually calming heartbeat, now loud, thunderous against Loui’s own body. He could feel it jump around in there. Fast and faster and messy. Even after he resumed to petting Loui’s hair with wet hands, smelling of soap and shampoo and something else. It reminds Loui of swimming… swimming? In a public swimming pool. A weird memory. When had he been swimming with daddy?

Daddy exhales roughly and keeps petting Loui’s hair until he nods off hours later, deep into the night. His back against the wall that he had slowly slid down, arms like steel wound around Loui’s body, pinning him there. Pinning Loui to daddy.

Maybe even daddies can have nightmares? Loui wonders as he feels the cold sweat from the others body seeping through the clothes.

It’s when the sun peaks back into the room that daddy steers back awake. Shooting up like a spring-toy.

Loui cowers into himself. He hasn’t slept. He was oh so tired but his mean eyes just wouldn’t close for the rest of the night! He rubs them as punishment. Though it only makes him see stars.

Daddy looks around and then at Loui. His eyes flickering around the place as if he didn’t understand something. But that would be stupid. Daddy was daddy. Daddy knew everything.

“Good morning baby.”, daddy placed a soft peck onto Loui’s forehead and the baby giggled.

“My sweet Louis mh.”, Daddy hummed while heaving them both off of the ground.

Loui blinked at the other happily. No more weird daddy. He pondered. The image of last night suddenly blurring in his memory. Maybe he was just dreaming a silly little dream? No way daddy would have ever looked so scary! No no.

Silly Loui.

He giggled as he nuzzled into his daddy’s hug.

“There there. I think we all deserve a little treat mh. We have a few hard hours…days after us, don’t we. Is there something you want honey?”, daddy bounces Loui a little while opening the bathroom door.

Loui thinks.

Treat?

Mh.

Mhhhhhh.

Treat…

A special treat?

“Cake!”, he wiggles around. Cake is a very special treat!

Okayyyy… it’s mostly for birthdays. But but buuuut! Maybe it’s Lily’s birthday! Or daddy’s!

Yes! Cake!

“Cake?”, daddy blinks while letting water fill the little bathtub.

Mh.

Why was the bathtub already so wet? Did daddy forget to dry it off after Loui’s last accident yesterday evening?

“Three? Cake?”, daddy calls out.

And there it is again.

That voice.

The voice.

Loui is frozen. Mortified. Why was the voice. The thing. Why was it back?!

“Cake? I think it would be best to bake one ourselves. That’s safer.”, the creature stared through the dark crack between door and doorframe. Eyes glistening dangerously. Long, boney fingers gripping and pulling greedily at the frame.

But daddy doesn’t butch. Doesn’t even twitch. He doesn’t see the monster.

Monster… daddy called it…different…last time.

“Baking? I don’t know…I’ll have to do some research.”, daddy hums, soaping Loui’s body and rinsing it off.

“Oh honey. What’s the matter huh? Deep breaths okay? Can you do that for me? It’s all good. Shhhh. Almost done.”, daddy kisses Loui’s cheek and just continues.

Loui only manages a choked off noise.

“That was just your uncle baby. I know, I know. You don’t really know him mh. He’s a new person.”

Person?

“But he’s really nice. Don’t you worry your pretty little head.”, daddy smiles brightly.

“Now let’s get you all dried up and dressed, yes?”

It’s when Loui is dressed and had had a nice warm bottle when the… ‘uncle’ comes with a phone, seemingly very important as he wiggled it around and around and around.

Ruining the perfect calm and cozy morning.

Loui gives a big sigh. They want to bake cake!

“It’s okay baby. It’ll only be a minute.”

“Should I-“, ‘uncle’ starts while stretching out his arms towards Loui but daddy cuts him off when Loui’s grib tightens.

“No, it will be okay. But you have to promise me to be a good and quiet boy, okay?”, the last sentence was directed at Loui! He nodded with determination. Everything but the ‘uncle’!

Daddy takes the phone to his ears and silence is all that resounds for a while.

“Mh?”, daddy’s hum sounds unfamiliarly confused and Loui tilted his head.

“What do you mean ‘she’s not here’? I saw her driving away. Three can confirm that.”

Daddy hums again as he listens to the inaudible sounds from the other side of the phone.

Together they move through the kitchen, turning and turning until Loui sees the other side, where, Loui notices with delight, the shelf wasn’t in a place it didn’t belong anymore!

Oh! And there’s mommy!

Hi mommy! Hello! ^^

Loui cooed but daddy swiftly placed his hand onto his mouth. It was only for a millisecond but…eyy…Loui decides to pout. Meanie.

Loui also decides that he doesn’t like the phone. He just didn’t understand why daddy was giving it all of his attention. He said they were going to bake!

…unfair

But he does want to be a good boy.

Slowly daddy moved them across the room, stopping just in front of mommy to give her a little nudge with his foot.

Mommy is so stupid. Daddy wants her to move but she just stays there on the ground. Sleeping. Lazy. She’s so mean. She always lets daddy do all the hard work.

Loui huffed.

She didn’t even get ready for the day! Even Loui had gotten ready for the day! Different from her, he had clothes on! And his hair was all combed through! She’s a mess! Daddy had to cover her partly with an all red towel because of that.

…but at least they were all back together now.

Where had she been anyway?

“No…no she didn’t say anything. Mh… but now that I think about it… yeah, yeah she mumbled something about legal threat and a transfer or maybe tran…saction? Ahhh you know I’m not good with big words. Something with money I guess. Do you know what that is?”

Loui blinked. Why didn’t daddy know that? He thought that daddy knew everything!

Weird daddy.

Suddenly, after a second of absolute silence, the voice from the phone got really loud.

But daddy quickly interrupts the stupid ugly voice.

“What do you mean with ‘she ran’?! Four? Come on, breathe. She’s our-…no…Do you really think she’d just-…okay. Okay I see… she did seem pretty agitated about that whole thing…yes… what?…you mean if she… Ah… i- i guess?…mhm… okay, thank you.”

There was another short silence and Loui started lightly swatting at daddy’s chest. He wanted to go play with Lily! Lily was all alone on the bed right now! She was so lonely! Loui had promised her she would get to bake a cake!

“Of course! I’ll contact you as soon as I hear something from her… yes. Okay I-… I’m sorry I couldn’t help... neither do I.”

Daddy’s voice sounded so sad but luckily he brightly smiled at Loui with a wink the next second. Then he got a little kiss on the crown of his head! He was being so so good hehe.

“Yeah… okay… mh hm… okay, see you… yeah I’ll call you then, I promise. Bye.”

Finally!

Chapter Text

“No, baby don’t.”

Loui pouted as his finger got lightly swatted away.

“But no eggies. Is not yucky”, he pointed to the batter that daddy had already put applesauce in instead of eggs or sugar and steered smooth a lot a lot.

“It’s not about the eggs, honey. It’s about the flour! That’s dangerous, baby. We don’t want you to feel icky mh.”, Daddy hummed patiently, though his hands were now shaking while gripping at the counter.

Loui pouted even harder. That’s not fair! His feet banged loudly against the counter in protest. He remembers eating lots of batter in some part far far away in the depth of his very tiny brain. And he had never been feeling icky from it! Never ever!

But fineee. If daddy says so…

Still, just to be petty he started whining loudly. Lily wasn’t allowed near the counter, no taste testing and a long waiting time?! Don’t blame Loui for being sour! Daddy was being a meanie and he shall feel the baby’s wrath.

“Baby please, we want to make something really special and good for little ones like you, okay? Please listen to daddy.”, daddy sighed through a wavering smile. Then he returned to steering the mixture again only to re place it on the counter, stare at it for some time, pick it back up, and stir it again.

Loui swung his legs through the air some more, curiously blinking around, his hand wandering closer and closer towards his lips and finally past them.

Was Loui being difficult? Maybe…but he was just a little cranky. He rubbed at his eyes before scrunching up his face in determination. He was a good baby… A very amazing baby! Because daddy didn’t leave again so Loui must be doing something right! So he’ll be a special baby! With a special treat! That’s right! He giggled slightly to himself, the heels of his feet feeling numb as he continued swinging them.

This was already a really special day! Daddy cuddled with him the whole night long and now they were making cake and Loui got to sit on the counter, right next to the batter!

Still, though, it felt like his brain was bleeding out. He couldn’t even handle the feeling of those scruffy adult clothes on his hands right now. It felt icky. Disgusting. Rubbing and rubbing. The touch worse than hurt. He should rip it off. The skin that touched that. Ripping it off would be more nice. Rip and rip and rip. Until the clothes are so wet and warm that they turn soft and comfy and the skin can’t feel anymore. A red shirt would be more beautiful anyways! Like the towels! He didn’t like this white one.

Having Lily in his hands would be even more nice. Having Lily bite off the disgusting skin would be even even more nice. With her pointy, sharp teeth, she’d-

Loui blinked back into reality. Where was he?

…he couldn’t remember.

Ah! He glanced back at his daddy.

It’s been hours! He wanted to eat cake with Lily already!!!

“Seven.”

Loui and daddy both gave a visible flinch. The mons-erm Loui glanced towards daddy- the ‘uncle’ was lurching just outside the kitchen. Stretching around the doorframe so just it’s face and scrawny arms could be seen by the baby. His long bony stick-fingers holding onto the doorframe just enough to keep his balance.

Loui felt the need to hiss like a cornered cat. Though that would be silly. He’s a baby, not cat. He’s not a kitty with sharp claws. He glanced at his nail beds.

“What’s the matter three?”, daddy brushed over all that creepy imagery again as if nothing out of place was happening at all! Why couln’t daddy see that something wasn’t right with ‘uncle’?!

“I think you’ve stirred that one enough.”, ‘uncle’ ‘s pointer finger unstuck itself from its tight place on the door with a creak and pointed straight at them. Loui leaned far far away. Yuck!

“It’s been fifteen minutes, you know?”, ‘uncle’ croaked.

“Oh.”, daddy looked at the bowl for a while and then gave a laugh as if ‘uncle’ had just said a really funny joke. Even though he didn’t. Loui isn’t sure he even can tell jokes. Does he know what a joke is? Does he know what ‘being’ means?

“Sorry baby, you were getting antsy because daddy took too long. I see.”

Well, at least this got Loui a good hair ruffling and a tight hug! He wiggled around in agreement.

Though just as things seemed to be moving right along again, the doorbell rang.

Loui sighed exasperatedly and crossed his arms with a big pout.

“Going.”

Loui’s head shot up.

Did ‘uncle’ catch the distraction?! He could do that?! He could be useful?! He quickly threw his head towards the others voice to make sure it wasn’t a hallucination. But the figure at the doorframe had already evaporated into thin mist.

“Come on silly. Don’t you want to help daddy pour the batter?”

YES!

Excitedly Loui made grabby hands towards the bowl, wiggling around uncontrollably. His feet were bumping into the counter so hard that it almost hurt again. Though the skin on his feet was just numb now, so it didn’t really matter to him. It more so encouraged him to continue on even harder.

“Wow there, careful.”, daddy laughed brightly while guiding Loui’s hands and helping him pour the creamy cake mixture over the baking form.

Now they can eat cake!!! He cheered as he reached for his daddy and daddy lifted Loui up up high and then put him on the cold hard lonely mean floor. What’s with him now?!

“NO!”, Loui clamped his hands down into the yucky fabric of daddy’s jeans.

“What’s the matter darling? Baby, daddy only had two hands.”

Yes. But also, he’s daddy. That really shouldn’t be a problem.

But daddy wasn’t paying him attention anymore, so Loui robbed over the floor to the closest cabinet and threw it open.

It creaked and bounced off the wood of the neighboring cabinet and the force of it caused its contents to jump and fall over.

Loui made a happy gurgling sound at his daddy before assessing the wide assortment of pans in front of him. Like any little baby, Loui concluded that the best thing to do was bang on them all like drums.

He’s a famous drummer after all! The best in the whole wide world! They can’t do anything without Loui because he’s so so good and the people cuddle him and kiss his head and tell him ‘good job’ because they all love him so much!

•••••

“No, but she used her credit card or something. They all make a big deal out of it. Though they still don’t know where she is.”

Len paused and his grip on the phone tightened. They could see that?

“Really? So it’s …it’s— ah I don’t even know what to say, honestly.”

“I didn’t know what that meant either. Apparently it just confirms that she’s alive and on the run. And they say she wants to illegally continue her research! Imbeciles.”

Len could practically hear the head shake through the phone call. He carefully readjusted Loui in his arms, shushing the baby when he started squirming a little to try and push a piece of the cooled down cake into Len’s mouth.

“Why would she do something outside of the facility?!”, the usual nonchalant voice of Len’s sibling pitched higher and higher “But apparently the purchases they could ‘follow’ suggested that. So now they keep a close look on emergencies reported on and from homeless people. That’s why I’m calling. When you hear something on the news or see something, call me back immediately!”

“Sure… so they think she wants to follow her original plan?”

But the line was already cut.

Len felt a little faint.

“Are you sure you are okay?”, three looked skeptical. Three had always been way too fast in figuring stuff like this out, Len sighed.

“I’m fine.”

“Mhm. How about I take him for a little? At this rate you’ll fall over with him still in your arms.”

“But-“

“Oh shush Mister Perfect. Let me have a little quality time with my so called… what was it? ‘Nephew’?”

Len sighed but eventually caved. It wouldn’t help Loui one bit if his daddy dropped him accidentally.

•••

Why would daddy do this?!

Hadn’t Loui been good? Had he been that bad that dad would just give him to the ‘uncle’? Why would he do this?

Loui couldn’t breathe through his tears.

Uncle was gonna eat him.

He was sure of that.

Uncle’s wife jaw, barely connected properly to the rest, would dislodge and just—

“Shhhhh. Shhhh. You’re fine. Seven just has to sleep for a little. Don’t you want to be a properly good baby?”, it croaked.

Loui does want that. He does.

But it’s been so hard.

Maybe he’s cried a bit too much recently?

But it’s just so mean. It’s so mean he can’t have all his old things.

Sometimes he’ll lie in the living room in the evening after throwing his new pacifier away when he’s actually supposed to be good and playing. If not found within an unspecified amount of time, he’ll cry, he’ll wail, he’ll pound his fists on the floor. He can’t stop until he gets what he wants, and, seemingly out of nowhere, his paci is magically back.

Did that mean he was bad?

Don’t leave him!

“Don’t worry. We also got new stuff for you. It will fit you now. Good baby.”

A cold, bony tip of a finger booped Loui’s nose. He blinked, trying to focus. A hiccup racked his body and he remembered that he was supposed to be crying about being left with the ‘uncle’.

Loui was snuggling deeper against the uncle, one hand clutched into the front of its shirt while the other fisted at his eyes ineffectually.

“I’ll take you with me while I get you a drink, yeah. I’m not a carer, but it can’t be that hard. But we are both here for the first time, so we’ll be nice to each other, right?”

No.

But crying was tiering and at least the ‘uncle’s shirt was nice and soft and cooled his heated skin.

Carefully Loui smushed his cheek against the fabric. If he didn’t look at uncle, he actually wasn’t that bad. But only then. And he won’t tell anyone.

“Good baby. Is that right? Good baby? Yeah. Good baby.”, uncle nodded to himself and placed the bottle in Loui’s hands.

Loui rested his head back on his uncle's shoulder and nursed slowly at his binky, trying to process all of that. He heard, and felt reassured, but would need some time for it to really sink in.

He motioned to his binky and uncle took care of it.

Slowly draining the creamy contents, Loui inattentively paws at his uncle’s shirt and fiddles with the buttons, peeping up at it out of the corner of his eye. Uncle is so ugly…

Better not look at that.

Finally it was a few years later and Loui was back in his daddy’s arms. He sighed a huge sigh of relief!

He was feeling very little now. But that was ok, 'coz Daddy was here. He tightened his grip on his Daddy's shirt again as he thought about just how glad he was that Daddy was here. He needed Daddy! He was just a boneless weight in his arms.

“I’ll have to drive to the store soon.”, daddy muttered.

“Car?”, Loui perked up.

“Yeah. I’ll drive the car soon! But not now, don’t worry baby. Relax. Daddy’s got you.”

“U drive way?”, Loui muttered.

Uncle chuckles, “Naturally. Who else would drive the car, little one?”
“Me,” Loui says, like it’s obvious, stabbing his chest.
Uncle’s grin widens as he rearranges the blanket around Loui where it had sagged, and carefully smoothes out the crinkles.

“I don’t know,” he mutters in amusement, “Aren’t you a little small for that?”

Daddy pushed Loui’s pacifier back into his mouth.

Loui sucked on it a bit in concentration, with his brows closely knitted in an intense look of concentration.

Right.

Where had that come from?

What a weird thing for a baby to think…

•••

It was a relief to finally have clothing for the baby in the right size.

The second Loui was swaddled in the fleecy fabric he wiggled and turned and found every excuse to force the pajamas to rub up against his skin.

It was a sight that made everything worth it for Len. He sighed as he stared at the sleepy puddle of Loui on the couch.

The baby had spat out his pacifier earlier and now struggled a bit to find his thumb, not able to coordinate his hands correctly. He began to start fussing out of frustration but Len was quick to help out with a pacifier with a different nib.

•••

Daddy was doing soooo much telephoning the last hour or so. Loui was so annoyed! But at the same time dads voice did have its soothing qualities. Regardless if it was directed at Loui or someone else.

It was also kind of funny because sometimes daddy would just start counting but it was aaaaalll over the place! Even Loui knew that!! His daddy was silly.

Sometimes he’d go ‘number three blah blah blah’ and then go ‘number eight blah blah blah’ and Loui just had to giggle at that. The rest was boring adult stuff. None of his business! Loui was too small for that!

So he just focused on his daddy’s voice and those numbers. Just weird that daddy completely forgot about the numbers six and seven. Stupid daddy. Seven was Loui’s most favorite number! It just looked so nice! It’s probably the most unique number out there!

He continued to naw at his own finger.

Then his eyes wandered back to the corner where mommy had been sleeping.

She was gone now. For a good two days actually!

Loui’s uncle had apparently helped her stand up but Loui hadn’t seen her since.

It wasn’t like he really missed her but… okay he maybe did miss her a little.

She could be really mean and scary and stuff but she was still Loui’s mommy.

Also she had some fun games and she always brought Jassy. And she gave great gifts when Loui had been good.

But daddy said she didn’t want anything to do with Loui anymore. He had cried a lot at that. He didn’t even know why. But even though he was really sad, he also got extra cuddles from daddy because of that! So, slowly little Loui got used to that.

•••

“What’s the matter, baby?”

“Jassy…”, Loui cast a longing look onto his building blocks.

“Oh…”, daddy thought about it for a little. “You are bored huh…Good job telling me, baby. Don’t worry, I’ll find you someone to play with, okay? Wouldn’t that be nice? Someone just like Jassy for you to build with your blocks with?”

He should make a plan for that.

He can’t be too hasty about such a huge change…

“From billionaire to murderer? Christian Rich has been accused of taking part in the disappearance of Sabr-“

Len shut the tv off.

It’s not like this has anything to do with them anymore. And he didn’t have time for it. He had to make do on his promise to his baby! Making the plan had already taken way too long!

His poor baby was getting more depressed by the day!

“Humans like to blame everything else.”, three hummed while drying his hands with a towel and eying the air freshener spray Len had recently taken to using.

“You know, smell is like, really important to them. I don’t just mean terrible smells but its said that they treat you better when you smell like them and something they associate with something positive.”

Three threw into the room while Len dressed himself in clean clothing. A perfume was sprayed into his face and he Len coughed so hard he gagged.

“Did that ever work?”, he mused. His brother looked anywhere but Len’s now watery eyes.

“…well…I don’t know what they associate with ‘positive’. I once tried to replicate their smell but they all just pulled a face and pushed me around. But in the commercial they said this one makes others love you.”

“How did you even learn about this? I don’t think Sab-“

“I read a lot of classic literature to understand humans and in ‘perfume’ from Patrick Süskind that was like, a huge part.”

“In… what?”

Three gives an exaggerated sigh “It’s a book! Come on!”

To be fair, Len had only ever really read fairy tales to recite them for Louis…

He pouts at his brother's unfair outburst. But he quickly got over it.

“You sure you’ll be fine alone here with him? Remember, I left a note on the fridge with his feeding times and all the-“

“Yeah yeah. Just go. We’ll be fine, promise.”

It was around two hours later that Len was sitting at a bar in the closest city.

“Oh. You’re a father?”, the girl that had been inserting herself into a conversation with him was silent for a little before giving a tiny smile and looking down. Her hands nervously twisting and untwisting.

“Your wife must be so happy to have you as the daddy.”

“Wife?”, Len blinks, never really having heard the term before.

“Yeah?…do you…not have a wife?”

“No.”, Len thinks for a little, looking the woman up and down. “And Loui’s mommy…let’s say she left us.”

“Oh gosh, I’m so sorry!”, she gives a short bow before she stares back into Len’s eyes.

Len watches her attentively.

Her black locks bounce and her eyes glow a dark brown with a certain kind of sparkle in them. Her smile wide and bright, cheeks slightly flushed.

Len puts her image mentally next to Jassy’s.

A few modifications may be needed but then…

She’s perfect. He’s so lucky!

Len gives her a bright smile back.

“It’s alright. We manage. It’s just that Louis is pretty lonely now.”

“Well…if you…sorry if I’m too straight forward but, maybe I could help you out.”, she starts to twist one of her locks around her finger. “I have no problem with kids…or infants for that matter! They love me actually!”

“You’d really be willing to help me out?”, Len blinks. Such a nice girl. She’ll be a good playmate for Loui. He had already made plans for having to deal with a more stubborn human girl but if she volunteered like this it was even better!

Len feels that well-known warmth in his chest when he thinks about his baby happily gurgling and babbling around when he hears her willing voice.

“Of course!”

“Amazing, thank you so much! Then, would you be willing to come home with me?”

She looked shocked for a second before her cheeks blush adorably. Her head turning almost entirely red.

“Already? I-oh…I don’t usually…I…”, she clears her throat “O-okay. You know what? Okay! Yes.”, she gives an excited giggle.

Wow. This was easier than Len thought. He can’t understand why Sabrina had so much trouble finding people willing to assist her. Human’s are so helpful and kind actually!

•••

Loui woke up to loud noises and some muffled screaming from somewhere in the house.

But it didn’t last long.

He blinked up blearily, confused and annoyed at being woken up way earlier than usually.

“Dada?”, he called out, pressing Lily to his chest.

“Da-“

“Hey there Baby!”, daddy ducked his head inside the room.

Daddy!

Loui forgot about his annoyance and lifted his hands up to get a large hug!

Daddy gave him a defeated smile before following the request. His hair was aaaalll over the place! Did he fall out of bed? Loui giggled at the thought. His silly daddy.

Daddy pressed a soft kiss onto his head and lifted him up.

“Daddy’s got a surprise for you baby.”, he whispered as he whipped Loui up and down softly.

“Subrise?”

“Yeah that’s right honey! Good job.”

Loui got a bright smile and he wiggled proudly. He was the best! Hehe.

“I got you a new Jassy!”

“Jassy?!”

That woke Loui up all the way! He could play with Jassy again?! He wiggled around more, silently begging his daddy to bring him to her.

“Careful baby. I’m so sorry but you can’t play with her just yet! She’s still way too little and she’s easily overwhelmed. But don’t worry! It won’t take long till you can play with her!”

Loui pouted. But fiiineeee. If daddy said so. He huffed.

“Don’t worry, it won’t take long sweetheart! She’s very nice! You’ll like her lots, I’m sure.”

Loui clapped his hands.

He did like Jassy lots! He can’t wait to see her again!

Oh.

Loui sucked in air when he saw the long red streaks on daddy’s arms. Red beats running down and building up.

“Dont worry honey! Your new friend didn’t know what to do with her big emotions yet. They didn’t know any better. We aren’t mad with them, are we?”

Loui scrunched up his face and clearly wanted to protest.

Len’s heart fluttered.

Loui really loved him.

What a perfect baby.

Chapter Text

https://www.furaffinity.net/view/61398903/

In case anyone’s interested in what Lou looked like at the start of this XD