Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Part 1—How to Meet a Vampire Human

Chapter 1

            Have you ever had an incomprehensible attraction to a certain type of person? Maybe you fawn over blonds, or men over five foot six make your knees wobbly. For me, it’s vampires. Just knowing that someone is a little fine pointed and favors a neck bite over a brownie bite reduces me to a blubbering mass of heat.

            Why vampires? Well, let’s be real here; they are all—each and every one—extremely sexy. Modern books and movies get the idea right. Vampire have perfect complexions; they down get dark circles under their eyes; they don’t have to deal with dandruff or sores; vampires never get wrinkled, pimpled, or saggy—they were forever perky. Not to mention that fact that vampires take creating other vamps seriously. Who would you pick to turn into an undead hottie your average looking run-of-the-mill human—or the drop dead gorgeous?

            Unfortunately, by the time I reached my twenty-first birthday I had yet to meet a single, dateable male vampire. By this point I’m seriously considering trekking the lesbian highway, I get enough looks thrown my way. Since I’m still in school the unmarried male vampires I meet are practically none existent, having class during the day and going to an all-girl school sort of cut my chances in half and my job doesn’t help either.  Since I work part-time at a bridal shop the unmarried male vampires that I have met have are meeting up with their personal ball-an-chains. Since vampires marry often enough to make it a little less special each time and the wedding are really only for their human lovers and their families.

            I was mourning my bad fortune while working one evening when Hermes—a married vampire, associate, and mailman—stopped in to deliver the evening’s mail. I heard the ringing of bells from above the bridal shop door just as I finished hanging up the wedding dress from hell a fuchsia pink nightmare that had just been tried on this morning. 

            I put on my Hello, yes—I am Alisia, your nerdy bridal shop employee smile-grimace only to come face to face with Hermes carrying his mail bag and staring attentively as he separated out the mail that was for us and that was for our neighbor, Pizza Hut.

            “Hey, Hermes. How’s it going tonight?” Hermes and I had an almost matching conversation every evening. I loved talking to Hermes; he was about 5’7” with blue eyes and black curly hair. In life, he had been a traveler of sorts who occasionally would indulge in one of his most cherished hobbies—theft—but he never seemed to lose his sense of humor or his laid back personality.

            “Alright, Alisia. How’s life with the bridezillas?” I knew Hermes didn’t actually care about how business was. He also didn’t care about weddings in general, his own wedding had turned him off to any of the details this job entailed. Hermes had been married for thirty years to his wife, May. She was his sixty-sixth bride, showing that even vampires can be of the marrying kind.

            “Same old same old. Unfortunately I’m here working today of all days. Happy Birthday to me?”

            “Congratulations on your special day! I didn’t get you too much, except this cheese cake from the Cheese Cake Man. Oh, but hey—I’ve got you something fun to do tomorrow night as well. We’ll call it an extra special birthday gift from me.”

            “Cake…gimme.” My mouth was practically watering he’d gotten me a cheese cake form The Cheese Cake Man, I was practically in heaven. Grinning at my expression Hermes handed me the 12’ by 12’ box—I nearly cried when I opened it. This was the largest size the owner would sell when it came to his wears.

            “Have I ever told you that I love you Hermes?” I moaned appreciate as I took a bite with the fork he handed me. “So what’s so special about tomorrow night?”

            “I guess you wouldn’t have heard, would you? Minos is back in town. He’s an old acquaintance of mine, going back for about seven centuries. His friends are throwing him a big bash over at his new place on Gregg Park. I can’t attend me and wife are going to have some ‘us’ time. So…why don’t you go in my place?”

            Minos Kirwin King was on the vampires most eligible bachelors list as one of the most richest, good looking vampires ever to make South Carolina their home. He was famous, sexy (not that I actually know what he looks like), and super successful. Naturally, I was stoked and about to have a fangirl moment all up in here just form the excitement. “Hermes that would be fantastic!”

            The time I spent on my part-time job at the shop had afforded me the knowledge of exactly how to meet single vampires. Through my many grueling conversations with successful bridezillas-to-be I had it on good author that parties were the best way to meet hot vampire bachelors. Unfortunately, I’m not really fashionable enough to know about these kinds of events—because let’s face it this is the first year of my life when I can legally drink. That and vampires live extremely long lives while consecutively gathering a great deal of capital, and the wealthy and beautiful are a bit out of my league.

            This meant that I was Charlie and Hermes was the chocolate bar that was giving me my very own ticket to Willy Wonka’s chocolate factory. My eyes were starting to glaze over at the very thought of it. I imagined myself as a curvier, skinnier version of Ariana Grande moving through I stream of vampire testosterone trying to jump anyone that fit my fancy.

            During my sugar induced haze, Hermes rooted around in his bag for a while and finally pulled out a cream colored envelope with a torn flap. He handed it to me and I took it in my hand like it was god’s gift to womankind.

            “Hermes if you weren’t married—and I didn’t love your wife’s cookies—I would kiss you right now.” I breathed the words as if speaking them out loud would end some wonderful dream.

            Hermes chuckled “Alisia, you know that’s just the envelope, right? You haven’t actually taken the invitation out yet.”

            I squealed with joy and slowly ran my finger into the envelope and felt the hard edges of the invitation card. I eased it out, wanting the excitement to last as long as possible.

            Eventually I had the whole card removed and I closed my eyes to steady my rabidly beating heart before taking a peek. I looked down and found a simple card in ivory with gold script text announcing the party of Minos Kirwin King. Tomorrow night, 8 PM. I shivered with glee.

            I don’t really know how long I stood there slowly tugging the card out of the envelope, devouring it with my eyes, and then slowly easing it back into the folded paper container, but when I glanced up Hermes was holding back laughter.

            “You’re so adorable when you’re excited. So, I, uh, guess I gave the invite to the right person. When you attend tomorrow you tell Minos that I send my regards.”

            Now he had done it. Hermes had charged me with a task that meant I couldn’t spend my night standing against the wall like the miniature wallflower I am. Instead, I simply had to talk to Mr. Rich, Single, and totally out of my league.

            But first, I had to search the wasteland that was my closet.

Chapter Text

Part 1—How to Meet a Vampire Human

Chapter 2

         “Why in the world are you calling me to ask what to wear to a vampire party? I’m engaged. To a hot guy. With a hot body, and equally hot friends. The last time I went clubbing was to get some questionable items to tie up my…err, to comfort my depressed boyfriend so that I could exhaust him physically…err…Never mind. What do I know of vampire party attire?”

         When faced with indecision about what to wear to what could shape up to be the most important party I’d ever go to, naturally I’d called my best friend, Sapphire. In high school, Sapphire had been a real social butterfly. Of course, she wasn’t anymore, but since I’m spending most of my remaining school years knee deep in work and trying to support my upcoming summer plans. I don’t really party like other college students my age so I thought she might have a better idea of what to wear that I would.

         I was sitting on the carpet in my bedroom area of my two-bedroom house that I’d inherited from my grandfather shortly after my graduation from high school. I was sitting crisscross in nothing my underwear and a camisole. I had serval dresses lying out on my bed but hadn’t made a real decision past the matching set of black undies, which were already on my person. There were two dresses that I had pretty much narrowed it down to, one of which I had never worn. “Sapphire, I just need some feedback ‘please? Short and see-through, or long and silky?”

         “I’m still confused over this situation. Tell me again why your Hermes gave you an invitation to a vampire party.” Sapphire was always suspicious of anything that nice people did for me. You give one guy a ride to the nearest pit stop and suddenly your friends have to monitor your every movement. I could just picture Sapphire sitting in her bubble bath, her concerned and frustrated face surrounded by silken strands of shiny blond hair. Sapphire was one of those medium sized women that was effortlessly badass and stylish that I’d normally think wasn’t friend material at first sight. But because I’d known her since we were gawky teens, I’d gotten exposed to her brand of sarcasm long enough to know when she thought I was doing something stupid.

         “He has plans already, Sapphire. Plus, Hermes was once rich. He’s already been to all these boss vampire parties. He doesn’t need to go to another one.” Hermes had been a rich vampire—still was, not that other people know—until all of his investments went belly up in 2005. At the time Hermes rivals thought he had everything in stock and was left with nothing, when actually he still had a good bit of loot left from his earlier years at theft. Most vampires take an extremely long-term view when investing and leave all their assets in fixed-rate products. After all, a two percent interest rate may not amount to much after twenty or thirty years, but after one hundred to two hundred points tend to rack up. But Hermes seemed to like high stakes and screwing with people so looking at his so called investments were like gazing at Tsundae from Naruto gambling shit from left to right.

         “He has to work—delivering the mail—at eight PM. I will never understand why the Americans with Disabilities Act pushed for these evening work laws,” Sapphire snorted, ten quoted the law with a tone of resentment. “All employers must offer substantial shifts for evening workers.’ Who needs their mail delivered at eight PM” Sapphire was very resistant to change.  Also, she sometimes had to work the midnight to 5 AM shift at the financing company her family ran and she resented it. Actually, most people resented the ADA’s inference because most vampires didn’t work so it was us who ended up working all of these crazy shifts.

         Personally, I thought the new law was great. You could go to any store or restaurant at any time of night. Shawarma could be delivered in the wee hours and banks had to be open 24/7.

         “Sapphire, can we please get back on track? I’ve got to finish up. Now I’ll ask again, short and see-through, or long and silky?”

         “The one from Dots?”

         “Yeah the one from Dots.”

         “How much cleavage on each of these dresses, Alisia?”

         Now, that was an embarrassing question. “Not a lot of cleavage, Sapphire. I’m not one of those girls that works on two-notch. I just want to be, you know totally rip-my-dress-off-and-have-your-way-with-me honey.”

         “Okay, go for short and see-through the one you got from Dots that you never wear. If you wear the long and silky number you’ll probably be over dressed. So short and see-through with your hair down and that red leather jacket I got you for Christmas should work. ”

         “Right, I knew you were the woman for the job. This is so flicking awesome!”

         “Alisia, I have you on speakerphone so don’t start murmuring.”

          Shit. Sapphire had been asking me for years, ever since she had started dating Madison, to stop running off at the mouth and tone down on all of the creepy murmuring. Crap, hopefully Madison wasn’t around.

          “Sapphire, you have to tell me when you have me on speakerphone. Hi, Madison!” The quite hello murmured from the other side of phone was partially blocked out by a snort.

          “So have a fun night tonight and for my sake, please be careful.”

         “I will, Hun. Give you all the details tomorrow!”

         “You’d better!”

         After I hung up the phone I jump up and made my way to the bed and held up short and see-through. The dress was cool. I’d never had the balls to wear it though, but it was one of those dresses that you see and you simply have to buy, even if it does nothing but sit in your closet unworn.

         It had spaghetti straps and was made out of some sort of stretchy material. It fit well, but didn’t look bad. From the top of chest area downward the outfit was bloody-red while the part covering the collar bones was covered in black see-through material. The dress was short but then so am I. At five feet six inches even the shortest dresses end up looking like they had a good bit of length on them. Short and see-through came to rest about two or three inches above my knees, just short enough not to make me look like a hooker.

         Although I live in South Carolina I absolutely hate the heat and usually anything that has me walking outside. The bloody-red material on the dress had undertones of a darker black that stood out against my lightly brown skin and caramel brown eyes. I was showing just enough skin to be noticed but I did set aside a moment to make sure everything was in the correct place. I didn’t need a repeat of the prom night disaster, were the back of my dress was hiked up just enough for people to tell what color undies I had on. If that happened again there was no way in hell I would be attracting vampires.

         I slipped on a pair of short cherry red pumps a few bangles and the necklace my grandmother gave me before carefully taking the hanger my jacket on it out of the closet. I may have spent a moment or two staring at the jacket before I finally put it on but who wouldn’t the thing was a work of art.

         As Sapphire advised I left my now straight dark chocolate brown hair down. It just barely reached the middle of my shoulder blades so it covered the back and sides of my neck and helped me look…well…you know—less like a rebellious teen. I’m not an unattractive woman, but I’m not a geek goddess either. If there was one thing truly remarkable about me (other than my supposed cuteness and quirky personality) it was my hair. The shine it took on when light hit it gave my hair a molten gold highlights that seemed to have everyone staring in appreciation.

         I added a simple pair of ruby earrings and a small purse and I was out the door to hopefully come home with a date. No, wait, to come home with a phone number and the promise of a date. That sounds a lot less trashy.

Chapter Text

Part 1—How to Meet a Vampire Human

Chapter 3

            I walked up the highly polished steps outside the fashionable Alcott Estates studio flats building with my heart hammering in my chest and my lungs inhaling more oxygen than necessary. Its times like these I’m glad there’s an inhaler stashed in my purse or else things would get pretty ugly real quick. Pausing for just a moment I took in one big gulp of air and steeled myself for what may or may not be a nerve racking deathtrap.

            Once inside the door I showed my invitation to the guard at the security desk. He gave it intense scrutiny, and then indicated that I should go up the curved granite staircase to my left and told me what flat number to look for. As I climbed the stairs the muffled noise of jazz music became louder and clearer. I say jazz because it was just the instruments, no vocals, and a really loud saxophone.

            Eventually I reached the door of flat #P3. I lifted my hand to knock when the door suddenly opened and a woman no more than five years older than me with short red hair wearing a basic black tube stepped out. Her head was turned away from me as she talked to the man following her. I stepped to the side and out of her way as much as possible but she still stumbled into me. She twisted her head around with an ugly sneer painted on her surprising beautiful face as I was thrown to the ground with a soft thump. Rubbing my back as a small ache went through it, I glanced up in time to see the evil eye she was giving me disappear into a slightly guilty smile.

            If you read facial expressions as good as I do most of the time you would know that her smile most likely meant that I was pulling a face. Unfortunately it happens without my consent a lot, Sapphire tells me that I look like a kicked puppy and apparently this makes people feel guilty about whatever they’ve done to put the look on my face.

           “I’m sorry about that sweetheart, here let me help you up.” The woman extends her pale manicured hand toward me and easily pulls me up to my feet. Now with both of our hands still intertwined she gazed at me in mild curiosity before releasing my hand and walking away with her companion. I stare after them for a while before shaking my head and pushing myself through the door that she had just left slightly ajar.

            Whatever I was expecting to see at a vampire party was forced out of my head as I walked in the attractive flat. Damn you twilight, it seems I really should have read the blue bloods series. At least I was dresses perfectly, even a little better than some of the other women here. The men were dressed nicely but not too nicely. Many wore jeans with button-down shirt and vests and a few more wore suits, sans the ties and coats. It was warm, somewhat inviting, and just sort of flowed.

            I walked into what I assumed was the living room, which was right off the tiny foyer. The furniture was what you’d expect to see in any living room but it was brightly colored minimalistic in style. The art on the wall looked like it came right out of the museum of modern art, it was rich vibrant and tasteful.

            Waiters, dressed in black pants with white shirts, circled with plates of champagne.  Since I’d never really been to many parties I was a bit surprised with circulation waiters it gave me a little thrill in my stomach when one approached me. But then I realized that I didn’t really have much practice with alcohol and didn’t want to be completely trashed before I got a chance to make a first impression on the very-single-vampire-Minos-King, so I just shook my head at the advancing waiter.

             I didn’t know anyone at the party, which sort of made me uncomfortable which also made it really hard to socialize. I don’t know why I hadn’t thought about that before I actually got here, but whop there it is. I just walked in, fell in love with the lighting, and then had a mini freaked out internally as I realized I didn’t know how to approach a stranger and just start a conversation.

             At least it was easy to pick out the vampires in the crowd because of how noticeably paler they were compared to the tanned humans and freakishly attractive. Here this far down south, it was a pretty safe assumption to say that the pale people you meet are vampires, unless their tourists or college students. I’m a nice light brown but have a few pale friends so I guess you can’t be totally sure, but since tan is “in” with thin, I suppose pale humans are a sort of rarity.

             I didn’t want to start a conversation with a vampire at the moment; should probably practice on a human first. I took a deep breath and decide to fall back on my retail roots and star a conversation about clothes or accessories with the first person I found standing on their lonesome.

             “Nice cuff-links,” I said to that tall, dark, and handsome loner leaning his elbows on the bar. Wait a sec, did I say tall? Wow, understatement much? I mean looming—no, that sound too ominous. He was, well, built like a fucking fort. He had to be six-foot-four or more. The man was all muscle—but not the Hi I’m on steroids type of muscly. You knew just by looking at him that he was build, it was sort of distracting.

             He had dark hair cut in a messy, contemporary style. He was dressed in dark jeans, a white button down shirt unbuttoned at the neck, and a black sports coat. He also had on the cutest emerald green teardrop-shaped cufflinks.

             He moved his wrists to look at his cufflinks, almost like he wasn’t sure which set he was wearing, then flashed me a blindingly white smile. The teeth against his deep tan were startlingly bright, but not abnormal. His eyes were dark, so dark they almost looked black in this lighting, and they shined with interest, intelligence, wit, and something else. He was storybook handsome. Just as I was contemplating what else I saw in his eyes, he spoke.

“Thank you. They’re a family heirloom. I’m Minos King and I don’t think I’ve had the pleasure.”

             Crap. Of course the first person I decide to spend my conversation time with also happens to be the parties’ host, who also happens to be single, dateable, male, and attractive. He grabbed my hand the wrong way for shaking and the right way for kissing and pulled it up to his lips, never once breaking eye contact with me—and all I could think was ‘creepy’.

“Alisia” I sort of half gulped, half huffed. “My—my name is Alisia.”

            He finished his ‘too-long-not-to-be-sort-of-creepy’ kiss on my hand and said, “Alisia, it’s lovely to meet you. How do I know you?” He didn’t let go of my hand. His voice was unique to say the least; it was like whiskey flowing over ice cubes—Hermes sounded better.

           I smile and tilt my head slightly while looking up at him, “You don’t—but your friend Hermes does. He sends his regards, since he couldn’t make it—he has some business to attend to.”

           Minos laughed a deep laugh that for some reason sent unpleasant shivers down my spine. “Oh, Hermes had to work. Let me guess, money problems forcing him to work an eight to five?” I felt a little put out for Hermes sake the way the said it came out a bit rude, but him asking seemed sincere enough.

“No not today really. Hermes and his wife had a bit of family business to attend to from what I understand.”

           He looked at me with what could have been a slightly shocked expression before his face shifted into amusement. “A bit surprising. Hermes and I were once in business together I thought I knew him better on a personal level, that wife of his must be something. He put all of his proceeds into tech stock which subsequently tanked. So what is he up to now? Invest all of his money in more speculative stocks? ”

No but it’s not like I’m going to tell you that much; so instead I reply “Well…pretty much.”

           Minos laughed deeply and fully, he made it very hard not to want to punch him in the throat not everyone had good business sense. A few people turned to look at us. When he laughed, the corners of his eyes wrinkled in an attractive way that said I’m-just-old-enough-to-know-my-way-around-more-than-you-do. Of course, Minos was old enough to know about the original bird who’d got it on with a bee—or however that saying went.

           “Wait a minute,” I realized, “you’re tan. How are you tan?” I took in his flawless skin curiously and wondered a how he could look so alive so human when he was supposed to be dead and less colorful.

            “Airbrushed tanning is a wondrous thing, dear Alisia. I keep encouraging other vampires to indulge but as of yet, none have bothered. Do you like it?”

           Did I like it. Ha! It was against my better judgement to think that he was fishing for compliments even if he didn’t have a decidedly mischievous sparkle in his eyes. I think he was enjoying my discomfort at his decidedly Dumbledore like look as I shifted my weight form foot to foot. As I looked up at him again and lied through my teeth, “I guess you could say that I like it. It looks very natural. You don’t look orange or anything at least. Some people come out looking like Oompa-Loompa’s after an airbrush tan.” Unfortunately you don’t look dead either.

           Again he laughed one of those full-throated laughs that sounded pleasant to my ears yet still for some reason set me uncomfortably on edge, it made me a little nervous. “I’m really not that funny, am I? I would blame your laughter on the alcohol being served tonight, but I’m not really sure what kind of effect it has on you.”

           “No, you really are that funny. By now most women would be on a potential sex-and-sugar-daddy mission trying to find out what kind of car I drive, what my disposable income is, what kind of woman I’m interested in, and what my bedroom sets threat count is. You aren’t doing any of those things and it’s refreshing.”

          Damn it man, I’m a fangirl not a gold-digger and last time I checked Kanye West and Jamie Fox weren’t playing ‘Gold Digger’ for me in the background while I walk around looking for a man.

          “Thank goodness, because I’m only interested in superficial, opportunistic vampire-humping women. Obviously, since this party is full of them.” As he said this, he turned toward the room and snorted in disgust.

           “Look at them,” he continued. “All desperate to latch on to a vampire lover as if it’s a status symbol. Vampires are people, not accessories.”

           I stood there, just a bit shocked at his raging humanity. Oh, that humanity it made him look a bit better in my eyes at that moment despite the creepy vibe he gave me, and despite the borderline rude things he said about my Hermes. Minos seemed startlingly enough to have a decent amount of humanity. I had no idea vampires felt that way and honestly, I felt a little guilty about thinking Minos was a rich jackass.

         “You know, Minos, I think I know exactly what you mean about women using vampire lovers as status symbols because that’s what men usually do to females. Do you know how many men I talk to in a day who can actually tell you my eye color? Pah, you’d have better luck asking them if they remember one of my tripping escapades.”

         He stared intensely into my eyes so much so that I was tempted to go back to my earlier assessment about him being undesirably creepy by feeling alone. I gulped a bit I couldn’t tell if he was angry or…well, I guess furious. His gaze was heated and more than just a little frightening. “Alisia, any man who doesn’t look you in the eye is not worth your time. You are a beautiful, funny, intelligent woman and you deserve to be treated that way. Men who are interested only in your physical allure are missing out on a truly remarkable person.”

          I was wary, and thought he was one hell of a sweet talker but gave in to the possible sincerity of the complaint. After all, I had been calling him creepy a lot in my thoughts but maybe that was just my cynicism talking. I’m sure my character judgement was a decently honed skill by now. “Thank you, Minos that really means a lot.” I paused, thinking I should probably end this conversation on a high note before I stuck my foot somewhere it didn’t belong. “I feel like I’m taking up too much of your time though. I should leave you so you can circulate. It wouldn’t do for the guests to think badly of their host now would it?”

“I do suppose you’re right although I wish I didn’t have to. I despise these parties and I loathe circulating.” He glanced around the room with a look of annoyance.

“If you dislike parties so much then why have them?”

“Do you know much about the Vampire Handbook?” His voice lowered slightly and his head bent closer to mine.

“In passing maybe, but really a handbook? You guys really need a handbook? No, what is up with the handbook?”

         Minos snorts at my words. “It’s more of a code of conduct. Because vampires live for so long there are certain rules that we’ve developed for ourselves.”

         “Dude, if your rules involve required party throwing then I’d have to say that’s pretty cool. Now, if you were to also tell me that you guys are required to have secret meeting in the lost city of Atlantis then I’d say that’s the coolest rule book ever.”

          “Ah, Alisia, if only it were so simple. The handbook dictates our hierarchical structure. It’s treated by your government as the guide of a fraternal group, but in reality it’s a vampire government.”

          “Oh,” I interrupted him. “Your government anything like the one on True Blood? And the federal, human government doesn’t mind?”

          “No, where did you get that thought from?” he said sighing “Honestly, someone should really take that show off the air it causing problems.” I snort at his comment and convey to him with my eyes to continue on with his explanation.

           “Okay so the federal government doesn’t mind. Vampires are magical creature and cannot be entirely controlled within the constraints of human law. Our government acts as a supporting government to your own but with special rules that allow us to enforce laws and punish vampires on a level they will better respect.”

           “I’m not sure I fully understand that explanation. Why can’t the human government and legal system punish vampires enough to make them obey?”

          “Between our strength, which is greater than a human’s but greatly exaggerated by modern literature, and our blood-sucking capabilities, it’s very difficult for human law enforcement officers and courts to contain and enforce our kind. Instead, we have a system of vampire governors and law enforcers who keep the vampire population under control.”

          “Okay, so I get that your spooky vampire government hands out ominous punishments and all, but what does that have to do with throwing parties against your will?” I ask puzzled and then it dawns of me. Minos is obviously some sort of criminal. “Oh, wait, is being forced to throw a party against your will a punishment for something? Is it like when someone threw that shoe at President Bush while he was on stage? The vampire law enforcers just take your worst fear and make you live it as punishment?”

          Minos looked at me for a moment and then burst into a fit of laughter. “Oh, Alisia, you are simply outrageous. You’re an interesting mix of sophisticated or even quirky wit and innocent naïveté. No, I’m not being punished. Law enforcers are chosen by vampire vote. I am a law enforcer and my position is up for re-election in a few weeks. If there’s on thing vampire society has in common with human society, it is that parties sway voters.”

          I felt bad, why did everyone I meet make my naïveté sound annoying endearing. “So this is the part of your campaign where you hold babies, shake hands, take pictures with the adoring crowds, and pretend that you aren’t a politician, eh?”

          “Exactly. I can never wait until it’s over, though.” He was taking a sip of the pink wine he’d been drinking when we were interrupted by a short human with a buzz cut. He was in his mid-fifties and his stomach reminded me of the pillsbury doughboy.

          “Say, Minos, you got a minute? I’ve been having some trouble down at the shop, you know? I was wondering if we could discuss the whole VC issue for a minute,” said the average sized man with no apology for interrupting my conversation just when  it got interesting.

          “Dionysius, of course. Excuse me, Alisia—duty calls. It’s been a pleasure.” He gazed at me intensely once again and grabs my hand. He brought it once again to his lips and I shivered—that’s so freaking uncomfortable.

          As my dropped back to my side and I turned away from Minos, I couldn’t help feeling relieved and a bit vexed all at the same time. While his mere presence seemed to set me on edge our conversation was vaguely interesting. Oh, well…

Chapter Text

Part 1—How to Meet a Vampire Human

Chapter 4

            As I moved along into the throng of partygoers, a woman grabbed my elbow and turned me slightly to face her. She was about my height, human, and her face was covered is so much makeup I was having flashbacks to the Ringling Brothers and Barman bailey circus. She squinted her clown eyes and gave me a quick appraisal and then asked, “Are you trying to get in his pants?”

            “To whom’s pant do you think I am trying to get into?” I’ve never been certain when I should or shouldn’t use whom or who, and since I didn’t want to give and inch to this woman I was ready to throw down. 

            “Don’t bullshit me, girlie. Are you trying to get into Minos’s pants? Because if you are, you will regret it. You’re not his type and he’s a notorious playboy. He uses women and then throws them away. He tells them what they want to hear, plays with their hearts, then moves on to the next one in line. ”

            Miffed and a bit worried, I asked the question that slithered its way up my spine, “Why are you telling me this?”

            “Oh, you poor, naïve little girl. I’ve seen children like you drawn in to his web, a fly to a spider. I only thought it right to warn you before you were too ensnared to escape, but you may do as you wish.”

            “When you say that, do you mean he’s the pedophile waiting for little girls on the side of the street, or that he’s done something similar to someone you know.” I fidgeted slightly panicking on the inside, my mind running a mile-a-minute with one disturbing vision after another.

            She dropped my arm and cupped my face looking at me like I was some little lost child, and I supposed she was right. Then, as if waking herself out of her own daydream, she shook her head patted my shoulder and walked away. Since my party experience definitely seemed to be headed from hell and back in a handbasket I decided to check out.

            I made my way to the door when someone tapped me on the shoulder; a chill went up my spine. I turned to see a waiter with a tray of tapas. “Sorry Sir, I’m leaving and I really don’t need any tapas to go.”

            He looked confused and hesitated. “Alisia?”

            “Yes?”

            “Ah, Mr. King asked me to give this to you.” He took a business card out of his pocket and handed it to me. I took it and he remained standing there, so I pulled the card up to my face and read it. The front of the card had Minos’s business telephone and email and on the back was a handwritten cell phone number along with a request for me to give the waiter my number.

            I glanced away from the waiter and saw Minos facing my direction. He was nodding his head at the vampire standing in front of him but his eyes were reaching out to me from across the room. That was the biggest discouragement ever. With shaky hands I pulled my eyeliner pencil out of my purse and grabbed the waiter’s palm and jotted down my number on his hand hoping it would be reduced to black smudge.

            I looked up patted him on the shoulder and said in a low sincere voice, “Have a nice night and see that you smear that number into illegible squiggles.”

The waiter smirked and saluted me, then sashayed off toward the kitchen holding his empty hand clenched and by his side.

Chapter Text

Part 1—How to Meet a Vampire Human

Chapter 5

            I left the party feeling as if I’d dodged a bullet and a whistle on my lips to illustrate my fineness. My mother hates it when I whistle. She says it’s not proper, though why she’d waste her breath on trying to correct years of disregard was anyone’s guess. I walked outside and was greeted by the smell of salt water and the wet, oppressive blanket known as high humidity it was murder on my lungs. Since we were downtown, the buzz of cars dueled with the click of cicadas. Above all that I could hear the warm South Carolina breeze rustling though the maple trees. I headed to my car, the heels of my shoes making a rapid clicking noise across the asphalt.

            When I reached my car I noticed a tall vampire standing near Minos’s building, lighting a cigarette. I glanced over at him, trying to get a peek at his face. He was just the size I usually looked for when ogling my men, to top that he had and oddly graceful sexiness about him. He had shoulder length, dark chocolate brown hair that was layered and brushed his cheekbones in the front. He was wearing all black—black boots, black pants, black shirt, and black trench coat. The outfit would have been out of place on a human but since vamps ran cold I completely understood.

            I must’ve stared at him a little too long because he looked at me and made that half scrunchy face that smokers make where on eye squints and their mouth puckers up and moves over to settle on that side of the face, it was kind of cute. He put his thumb and his forefinger to his lips and pulled out the cigarette.

            “See something you like?” he asked as he blew cigarette smoke in my direction. His voice was a sexy soft baritone like you’d expect from an Italian and it sent shivers up my spine. He wasn’t really rude when he said it, but I flushed crimson at the look he gave me afterwards.

            “Oh, uh, sorry. I…I’ve just never seen a vampire smoke. You guys don’t really breathe, do you?”

            He made a sound that was like a laugh but not like a ha-ha-let’s-share-a-joke kind of laugh. “You just came from a party with vampires in it and you don’t even know if we breathe? Do you pay attention to anything that happens around you, or only what happens to you?”

            I was pretty embarrassed and a bit offended by this odd vampire, but I couldn’t really argue his point without admitting to my own shortcomings. After all, I did just come from a party full of vampires but wasn’t actually sure whether or not they breathed. Then I remembered Minos sighing. “Oh yeah, I guess you guys do breathe.”

            “Oh yeah,” he mocked playfully I flushed again. “And we have hearts and everything.”

            I looked at him for a minute, trying to come up with an impressive comeback, but all I could make my mouth say was, “Your mean.”

            I reached into my purse to get my keys out and was so flustered that the little mirror I keep in my bag to check my lipstick fell out and shattered. “Aww crap, I totally blame you for this you know! I’ve had that mirror for years and within five minutes of meeting you it’s in billions of itty bitty pieces.”

            “Wow, guess you just bought yourself seven years of bad luck there, itty bitty diva.” I got a foreboding feeling in my gut, which wasn’t good.

            I gave him one last pout, glared menacingly, got in my car, and left, realizing that my party experience had finally crashed and burned.

Chapter Text

Part 1—How to Meet a Vampire Human

Chapter 6

            I woke up the next morning to the obnoxiousness that is “Who run the world girls” because I had forgotten to turn my cell phone off when I got in the night before. I picked up the phone with a grumbled, “Whaaz iit?”

            “Alisia, this Jason. Can you come in today? Chelsea called in sick.” It was my boss. Crap.

            “Uh, sure, Jason, what time?” I didn’t want to go in, no, I really didn’t. Especially on Saturday, this, in a bridal shop, is like Resident Evil but with brides coming at you from every direction and no sentient computer to hold them back.

            Like the infected, brides have one thing on their mind. “The Perfect Dress,” cue dramatic music, they drone on and on with the same mesmerized but insistent tone favored by the living dead in the Resident Evil films. And make no mistake, those monsters will eat your brain if you don’t make them look thirty pounds thinner and at least five years younger in a one-of-a-kind but completely affordable miracle dress that doesn’t exist. But I could use the money and it would be real hard for me to come up with a believable since I didn’t have classes on the weekend.

            “Cool. Be there at eight to open up.” And then he hung up. Naturally. No thank-you at all.

            I pulled my hair up into a high ponytail, put on one of my many iron-free skirt suits and a pair of my more formal flats, and drove to work. Once I got to the shop I fished my key out of my purse and opened the employee entrance. I put my bag away in my locker and headed out to the floor to start deflecting the piranhas.

            The day progressed pretty slowly. Before I knew it, I was up to my neck in tulle, lace, garters, and crinoline. By six o’clock, as the sun was starting its descent, I was eagerly awaiting the time that I’d able to rip off my shoes and settle in to a Jurassic Park movie marathon.

            Just as dark had overtaken the parking lot I noticed that Fuchsia Pink Nightmare Bride was back and she was back and she pulling fuchsia dress from hell off the rack. When brides come by the first time, it’s a bit like window shopping. They’re just looking, trying things on, and getting the feel of your stock. When they come in the second time you can be pretty sure that they’ve made their final decision on a dress.

            Normally, it doesn’t matter to me whether or not the dress the bride picks looks stunning to me while she’s wearing it because, hey—it’s her wedding. But in this case, The Fuchsia Pink Nightmare looked ridiculous on the woman and I felt that it was time for me to do my good deed for the day.

            “Oh, Ms. Jackson, how wonderful to see you again! I was thinking about calling you because we got an A-line that would look amazing on you. ”

            “Why would I want to look at another dress? You can see that I’m reaching for this B. Mack Original again. Obviously this is the one that I want.”

            Now this was tricky business. I certainly couldn’t tell her that she looked like a tulle-covered hemorrhoid when wearing that dress, but I still felt I owed her the truth—even if only by way of misdirection. “Oh, I see that, and it is a gorgeous dress, but this ivory dress would really complement your complexion. Don’t you want to at least try it on?”

            “If I didn’t know any better,” she looked at me with squinted eyes and twisted her body into a defensive posture over the dress, maybe I could burn it, “I’d think you were trying to talk me out of this dress.”

            It was at this moment that my boss, Jason, decided to interject. “Alisia, Ms. Jackson, is there a problem here?”

            “I’ll say there’s a problem.” Ms. Jackson turned to Jason. “This one,” she said, pointing at me, “is trying to stop me from buying this dress.” She accentuated every word with a little tug on the dress of her dreams, that ungrateful heifer.

            Jason turned to me and said, “Alisia, maybe you should go to the back and take a break.”

            Shit, now I was in trouble just for trying to do something nice. I turned around and started to huff back to the employee area when I notice a tall column of black to my left. What do you know, it was the odd cigarette squinty from outside Minos’s party last night.

            He grabbed my arm gently as I walked by and whispered, “I need to apologize to you. Is there somewhere we could talk?”          

“Sure, but if you’re going to apologize please do it in a normal people voice,” I whispered back to him. “Come on follow me.”

            He laughed and let go of my arm as I led him outside. Once we were outside the shop I turned around, rocking back on my heels. For the first time, I noticed that he had brown eyes. Not hazel or chocolate, but more like coffee brown.

            He looked me up and down, slowly, eyes’ lingering over all the areas a gentleman doesn’t linger over. I let that go on for, oh, about three seconds before I decided to redirect. “Um, hi, yeah, sorry to interrupt whatever this is but you said something about an apology?”

            His eyes stopped moving catching my gaze he delivered his slightly scripted sounding speech, his slightly gruff voice sending pleasant shivers down my spine. “Alisia, I am utterly regretful that I was so rude as to tease you outside the magnificent gala we both attended last night.” Then he lifted my hand to his lips. “I do hope you can forgive my nicotine withdrawal-induced rudeness.”

            “No offence, but it doesn’t sound like you mean it. I mean it, a lot of people have apologized to me over the course of my life…”

            “Apologized to you because you’re a self-indulgent little pouter or because they actually wronged you?”

“Okay, you know what? Forget you. Thank you for stopping by my job to waste my sort break, and be mean for no reason.” I threw my hands up and started to walk off, then I turned around a bit confused. “How do you know where I work? How do you even know my name?”

            “Oh, please, don’t look at me with those eyes. I’m not a creeper and if I were, it wouldn’t be you I’d creep on, itty bitty diva. I talked to Minos when I went back to the party and your name was mentioned.” I frowned at that the guy couldn’t just forget about my existence.

            “Well, maybe it won’t be rocket science for you and the creeper to keep away from me. Apology not accepted!!!” Then I turned on him and as I walked back in, I thought I heard the distinct sound of soft laughter.

Chapter Text

Part 2—Scoring a Date with a Vampire Human

Chapter 7

            Two weeks later I was sitting on the porch of my house. I live in a small one story house that I received from my great-grandfather when he passed away. My home is like a slightly bigger version of the children’s playhouse my family owned when I was younger. The house itself is about 800 square feet with a small kitchen, dining area, sleeping cranny, bathroom, and a second bedroom I use as storage space. It was perfect for me because I really don’t want to be that far away from my home town, I’ve got safety issues.

So there I was on the porch in one of my grandmother’s old rocking chairs looking at my next door neighbor’s wonderful garden, sighing happily about the end of exam week. I’ve never been I deeply religious person despite going to church every other Sunday, but today I was praising the lord, for Hell Week was finally over. Schools out for the summer and final exams are no more, Thank god!

With my impending doom via exams finally lifted my mind drove back to my rather disastrous party going escapade. My flirtation skills sucked and I kept running into hot people that gave me ‘creepy vibes’. While one vampire I met was good-looking and rude, he had also made it a point to come all the way to my workplace to ‘apologize for his nicotine withdrawal induced rudeness’. Although, the way he delivered said apology left me wondering why he came around to bother me at all. And the vampire I had planned on flirting with had turned out to give me the willies. I sighed leaning back in my chair and closing my eyes, flirting was just not my area of expertise.

It was in that moment that my cordless phone which was outside with me, started to ring in my ear. Taking a small sip of my grandmother’s homemade lemonade, I decided to answer even though I didn’t recognize the number.

“Hi, this is Alisia; may I ask whose calling?” I called gently into the receiver.

“Hullo” A deep voice sounded, slipping over my body like warm water on the coldest ice. Well shit, I was surprised to hear from the ‘creeper’—and here I had hoped the waiter destroyed my accursed number, what a bad sign…

“Alisia, I had hoped you would call before I got back.” He said in a slightly mournful tone.

“Back?”

“Yes. I was out of the country on business. I had hoped you were going to call me, so we could discuss possibly going on a date. Oh, but it seems I’ve beaten you to the punch?” He had a sort of teasing tone, as if he knew I wouldn’t actually call him to ask for a date. Ten years’ worth of lectures about feminism reared it’s viciously proud head and I decided that I’d deflate the bastards ego and throw him off of his game as well.

“Oh, we’re quite presumptuous aren’t we calling stunning young ladies over the phone and assuming they will graciously accept dating requests…” my voice trailed off quietly. Flick that sounded like a teasing invitation for him to ask me out, how the hell had that happened.

“My, my. In about nine hundred years you are the first woman to ever tease me about possibly saying no. So, my dear will you do me the honor of going on a date with me?”

I was a bit miffed at the humor in his tone; he made me want to accept only to stand him up on the spot. I sighed a bit annoyed with the path my thoughts had taken. Maybe I was letting my overactive imagination run away with me, should I give him a chance? It wasn’t like I had ever been on a real date before, and I could most certainly use the experience.

“Sure why not. Where shall we go?”

“Well start small”

“Alright, what exactly does small entail?” I asked my voice sounding a bit curious despite myself.

“Sailing, followed by dinner at a lovely little Italian restaurant I’m fond of.”

“Sailing?” I said testing the word out slowly, as if I was trying to decide whether or not I wanted to have awkward flash backs of embarrassing childhood memories made at such places.

“Yes, Sailing. We’ll have a grand time out on the lake; just make sure you’re dressed appropriately. The wind can be quite cold if you don’t have protection of some kind covering you, I’m told. What time should I pick you up?”

I laughed softly my voice coming across a tad bit aspirated. “That sounds like quite the treat. I’ll be ready at five.” I had never been sailing before, but it sounded interesting enough, hopefully there wouldn’t be swimming involved.

“I’m looking forward to it. See you then, Mon chou.” We each hung up.

Chapter Text

Note from the author: School's out for summer…

Disclaimer: I do not own the Heroes of Olympus series nor the Percy Jackson and the Olympians series or The Vampire Relationship Guide series. Rick Riordan and Evelyn Lafont. 

Part 2—Scoring a Date with a Vampire Human

Chapter 8

"He asked you out?" I was at work the following evening telling my coworker, Chelsea, the story of my phone call from Minos. I described the entire event as she grappled with the steam iron. I really shouldn't have been distracting her, but it was sort of funny watching her try to de-wrinkle an expensive, silk shantung wedding gown while calling me out on my nonexistent dating experience.

"Yes, yes, he did. After all, who would pass up a date with this!" I shouted while striking a ridiculous pose. Chelsea snorted and went back to ironing.

"Wow, he must have been really interested. It seems to me that you may have been wrong about his 'creepy' status. Either that or he sees the sign 'virgin blood' tattooed across your expression."

"Geez, thanks for the vote of confidence, Hun. Oh, look at me poor little virgin no dating experience at all! Save me! Save me!" Chelsea laughs at my pouting face while raising one perfectly sculpted eyebrow.

"I'm just telling it the way it is, honey."

I open my mouth to argue more when the bell above the shop's front door jangled and indicated that a customer had walked in. It was Thursday night, not a big 'let's go get a wedding gown' night, but I hurried out anyway, if only to spare myself more embarrassment at the hands of my coworker.

As I walked out from the back room, I quickly scanned the shop to see where the customer went when, for the second time in five days, a Colum of black caught my eye. In a bridal shop filled with white gowns, someone wearing all black stands out. I also caught the faint smell of fresh cigarettes.

"YOU."

"Why, hello, Itty Bitty Diva! How I've missed your engaging jousting." He was standing by the dressing rooms with his hands held behind his back, and he started walking toward me, his dark chocolate brown hair still in that long, attractive style.

"This is twice in one week you've been to my work, creeper, and I don't even know your name."

He reached me and was close enough to touch but kept his hands to himself. "Hmmm, that's fascinating. Do you want to know my name, piccolo*?"

For the first time, I looked at the nicotine enthusiast. I mean, I really looked at him. He was definitely a vampire, just as perfect as they always are, but there was something different about his eyes. They were somehow more soulful. They were amused on the surface, but when I looked deeper, I could see a myriad of emotions. Anger, sadness, pain, an entire lifetime, splayed like a movie played on his face. It made him seem real, genuine in a way Minos wasn't, and my expression softened before I went crimson.

"Yes, if you wouldn't mind." I tilted my head down and twiddled my thumbs. I felt embarrassed for some unexplainable reason; he gave me a considering look.

"Well, I don't know you well enough yet to give you my whole name, but you can call me Di Angelo if you like."

"Of angles?" I said my voice little more than a whisper; he gave me a faintly surprised look.

"Yes," he said just as softly.

"Do other people call you Di Angelo, or is this just what I get to call you?"

"Other people usually call me The Ambassador of Pluto."

"That's quite the mouth full, not to mention sort of vague and shady. Oh, Hi Mr. Vampire, that some people, address as The Ambassador of Pluto!"

He laughed. "There, now that's Alisia I'm comfortable with. The one who is immediately snarky, slightly impolite, and has an indulgently odd sense of humor. Oh, how I've missed you these past few minutes."

I put my hands over my mouth to stop my laughing, but the sounds escaped anyway. I'd never heard anyone describe me like that before—it was careful not to be called adorably oblivious. "What do you want, my dear nicotine enthusiast? Either make me a commission or dash on back to your bat cave."

His arms came from around his back to show me a single white tulip**. He handed it to me. "I'd like to ask you out to dinner on Sunday."

I was flustered, which might explain the answer I gave him. "Uh…alright."

He looked at me with his head crooked and his eyebrows down, a sly smirk gracing his features. "Surely you want to make it harder on me than that, don't you? Are you feeling all right?" Just then, he put his hand on my forehead as if to check for a fever. The moment that his cool, firm hand touched my forehead, I felt a jolt of electricity race down my spine. My face flushed crimson for the second time in five minutes as my breath caught unexpectedly, and my eyes widened. Judging by the way his eyes widened slightly, I think the enthusiast felt it too.

I backed away nervously out of the tomato-touch-blush-zone. I turned my head away to look out of the front window of the store. "I feel fine. Where are we going on Sunday? Should I be prepared for copious amounts of fast food?"

He laughed. "Well, as you can imagine, with me, it's all about style. We'll be going to the Beacon Drive-In."

"Really cool, you know they're world-famous for their Beacon Iced Tea right!" Beacon Drive-In was a seventy-year-old burger joint. It's a regional landmark, a Carolina traditional food joint that ranks as the second-largest drive-in restaurant in the US. It was also my grandfather's favorite place to eat and where he took my grandmother on their first date.

"Yeah, as real as you can get. I'll pick you up at eight."

"Okay…Wait a sec, how do you know where I live?"

He turned around and looked at me for a moment, smirk pulling at his lips, then said, "Ever heard of Google maps, honey." Then he left.

Chapter Text

Part 4—Going on a date with a Vampire Human.

Chapter 9

Sailing-Saturday (as I had taken to calling it) came around a lot more quickly than I felt ready for, but I was totally excited for my first real date. Since we were going sailing, I decided to wear a dark long sleeve turtleneck dress with black leggings and ankle boots with grips. I would have worn dress pants, but I didn’t want them to get soaked through. Since South Carolina weather usually got on the chilly side when near open water I decide to play it safe and find some warmer clothes. I braided my hair up into a fishtail and then pinned it up into a bun. Hopefully this would be enough to stop my hair from getting tangled up whilst sailing. I looked…well shit I looked adorable.

I bought a stylish rain jacket and a water-resistant purse to keep all of my valuables in the day before Saturday. Now I was just waiting for my date…Minos. Giving myself time to think over why I agreed to go on a date with him probably wasn’t the best course of action. Now couldn’t help but think about all the nightmares I’d had this week. Alisia + sailing, just might = death by drowning. Such scary thoughts!

On my way over to Minos’s place I stopped to get gas and picked up some crappy gas station flowers. I don’t know what compelled me to purchase them, but I felt like an idiot whenever my eyes caught sight of them in the passenger seat.  They were supposed to be fresh carnations, but they looked like someone had taken a blow torch to them. Also why was I the one buying flowers, this usually was the guy’s job wasn’t it?

When I got to his building I was even more of a nervous wreck. At the part we had been surrounded by people and distractions. There was no pressure and there were certainly no expectations. Plus, I could pretend all I wanted, that I wasn’t awkward as hell with guys.  Now, it would just be Minos and me and all of my anxiety over getting on a boat—and anything he might have to say about our outing.

Once I passed the scrutiny of the security guard, I mounted the stairs slowly, wiping my sweaty hands off on my handkerchief. I was so glad I packed that thing. I’d never been on a date before, was this how people felt all the time when they went to hook up? I had a newfound respect for the entire dating community. Also, I was totally going to apologize to Sapphire when she called to check on how my date night went. After so many years of me laughing at her nervousness when it came to her and Madison’s relationship hijinks she totally deserved and apology.

I reached Minos’s door and lifted my hand to know but before I got the chance the door sprung open. I pushed the flowers in front of me and toward Minos almost like they were the perfect physical barrier to prevent unexpected shenanigans. For someone who desperately wanted a hot vampire boyfriend I was acting awfully wimpy. Minos looked shocked and more that a little bit amused to be receiving flowers, and when he took them form me, I realized he was pushing a bouquet of long-stemmed pink roses back in my directions. Score of 1 to Minos all hail flower power, also dear god, I think I might be an idiot.  

“Neat, we had the same idea! Their very beautiful, thank you.” His bouquet was much prettier than mine, and probably much more expensive. But then, he’d probably never received flowers form a girl before, so he had nothing to really compare it too. Thank god for small mercies, hopefully I wouldn’t goof anything else up before the date even officially got in the water.

“A beautiful woman should always be in receipt of flowers. But this is a night of surprises. I’ve never received flowers from a woman before.” Go Alisia, I gave myself a metaphorical pat on the back. “These are lovely, let me put them in some water.” He winked at me provocatively as though he knows how ironic he was being.

He walked into the kitchen and bought out two vases, filled them with water, unwrapped the bouquets, cut all the stems at an angle, and placed them both in the vases. I took this time to survey the vampire goods. Minos looked unbelievably hot, despite the creepy vibes I still got from him. His thick dark hair was carefully styled as it had been the night, I met him. He had on a pair of dark-washed jeans that were distressed in all the right places along with a navy-blue button-down shirt that made his vest look like it was holding back pecks of steel. Before I got to lost looking at the abs on display, his voice brought me back to reality.

“When you come up for your nightcap you can retrieve your flowers.” He gave me a smirk that sent a decidedly ominous chill down my spine.

“Holding little floral hostages so that you can get a goodnight kiss?” I might have wanted to go curl up in a corner on the inside, but I decided that I shouldn’t show my unease on the outside.

He laughed. “Whatever it takes, my lovely, whatever it takes.” It was a funny thing to say but I still felt like I was staring Smeagol in face as he advanced upon me to retrieve his precious. Minos finished with the flowers and took my hand. It was a casual handhold, like two people who had been dating for months, it made me feel distinctly uncomfortable. Was this how things were supposed to work, I couldn’t help but think as he led me out the door.

When we got to the car, he opened the door for me. He walked around to the driver’s side of his silver Lexus and got in as I buckled the seat belt.  I was tempted to take a look in the glove compartment but held back I wasn’t entirely sure what to do with myself.

“I’m tempted to frisk you down at this moment you know.” He stated in a low baritone right next to my ear. My head snapped around when my eyes met his I noticed how uncomfortably close our faces were. “Huh? Why would you want to do something like that, it seems a little nosy?”  

“Well besides the obvious benefits,” he looked down at me with a leer on his face. “I would just be looking for a stake.” Now, I’ll be the first to admit it took my brain a bit of time to process his statement. I can also admit that my mouth shot off a response before the words had fully registered. “Why would I have a steak on my person? You’re the one taking me out to dinner—but wait, you don’t eat steak anyway. Or wait—I have seen vampires eat normal food, so maybe you will eat a steak.” Secretly, there was a part of me face palming at this very moment I have got to work on my brain to mouth filter.

He laughed and brought his gaze back up to my face. “No, no, a wooden stake. It’s a safety precautions in case you are an anti-vampire zealot.”

WTF. He really things I have like, murderous intentions and stuff. “Um, no. I’m hear for the food I swear! Oh, and the company… So it’s true then that a wooden stake is the way to kill a vampire?”

He looked at me strangely, which I guess is how I’d look at someone I was going our with that asked, if they could kill me with a piece of wood. “Well used the right way it could certainly kill. Generally, vampires can be killed in much the same way that any person can be killed if the wound is fatal enough.”

After an uncomfortable silence we made small talk as he drove. Finally, we reached our 1^st location of the night at the Columbia sailing club. As we got out of the car I stared nervously out at the water. The sun was setting and it looked like a vast ocean of darkness waiting to rise up and swallow unsuspecting boaters. As Minos calmly walked to the docks I nervously trotted after him.

As he ascended to the deck of the boat I froze at the edge. “Shit, I don’t think I can do this.” I muttered quietly. “Is everything alright Alisia?” Minos inquired with a raised brow, as he extended his hand toward me. I closed my eyes took a deep breath and grasped his outstretched hand. Following behind him once again I tried to focus on the boats features and not the inky water on either side of it.

“You seem a bit nervous my dear, is everything alright?” Minos gazed at me as his face turned serious. He seemed to be sincere in his questioning of my well being so I answered honestly. “I’ve never been on a boat before, and I’m having trouble not freaking out.” I was facing him with my arms wrapped around my middle eyes darting nervously over the side of  the boat. He turned his body fully towards me and put an arm around my waist gently tugging me along to the helm of the boat. “Shall we stay up here then?” Minos asked as he gently steered the boat away from the pier and out into the black foreboding depts of the lake.

I flinched as the vessel gently swayed back in forth as he drove, this was not what I was expecting. “Your heart rate seems to have picked up a bit my dear. Don’t worry I assure you that I am an excellent swimmer, and nothing will happen to you as long as you are in my company. Be calm sweetling everything is fine.” He whispered in my ear.

My heart felt like a jackhammer in my chest, and I assure you it wasn’t because of the rock-hard body I was pressed up against. What the heck was wrong with this guy! I tell him that I’m freaking out and he decides to drive out into the middle of the lake. I couldn’t see the lights from the pier anymore, and that made the water seem more terrifying somehow. Tears started to blur my vision as my breath came in soft pants. I felt the arm around my waist tighten as I struggled to calm down.

“I…I…I don’t think I can do this, I’m sorry can we go back to the pier?” with my hand clutched to my chest as my vision blurred even more with my tears. I gazed up into his eyes and flinched back a the smug look in them. “I apologize my dear I thought you were jesting. I did not mean to frighten you.” his words sounded sincere but the look in his eyes made him seem darkly amused at my plight. My lungs constricted at his words, as my vision started to darken.

“How cute.” his voice whispered as his gaze flicked between my lips and my face. As my consciousness faded, he lightly pressed his lips against mine in a sensuous, silky kiss. “You’ll be perfect.”

Chapter Text

Part 2—Going on a date with a Vampire Human.

Chapter 10

Last Time: “How cute.” his voice whispered as his gaze flicked between my lips and my face. As my consciousness faded, he lightly pressed his lips against mine in a sensuous, silky kiss. “You’ll be perfect.”

Now:

            I regained consciousness with a vague feeling of terror, and a light touch to the forehead. “Oh, your awake thank heavens.” Minos’s face hovered in my line of sight with worried look on his handsome features. There was no dark amusement or smugness present, just honest worry about my wellbeing. “I was worried when you fainted. If I had known sailing would give you a panic attack, I would’ve taken you somewhere else.”

Panic Attack? “I had a panic attack?” my voice came out in a whisper. “Yes, as soon as we got on the deck of the ship you started showing symptoms. I’m ashamed to say I didn’t notice your distress for what it was right away.” he said apologetically kneeling down by my side near the padded bench I had been laid on.

Could it all have just been my imagination? Did I let my misgivings about Minos and my unease about being on the water twist things out of proportion? I tilted my head up to meet Mino’s concerned gaze and took a deep breath. “What exactly happened?” I asked imploringly meeting his eyes once again with confusion swimming in my own. His hand caressed my face tenderly as his face creased in worry.

“I took your hand on the docs because you seemed a bit nervous. When we made it to the deck you were shaking. I thought you were cold, so I brought you closer to my body to help you conserve heat. By the time we got out to the helm and out on the water you started hyperventilating and clutching your chest as if you were in pain.” I froze as he mentioned the last part, so far everything he said matched up with what I remembered. My face contorted into a frown as my mind thought back to what had happened in the middle of lake.

Flashback Start

I flinched as the vessel gently swayed back in forth as he drove, this was not what I was expecting. “Your heart rate seems to have picked up a bit my dear. Don’t worry I assure you that I am an excellent swimmer, and nothing will happen to you as long as you are in my company. Be calm sweetling everything is fine.” He whispered in my ear.

My heart felt like a jackhammer in my chest, and I assure you it wasn’t because of the rock-hard body I was pressed up against. What the heck was wrong with this guy! I tell him that I’m freaking out and he decides to drive out into the middle of the lake. I couldn’t see the lights from the pier anymore, and that made the water seem more terrifying somehow. Tears started to blur my vision as my breath came in soft pants. I felt the arm around my waist tighten as I struggled to calm down.

“I…I…I don’t think I can do this, I’m sorry can we go back to the pier?” with my hand clutched to my chest as my vision blurred even more with my tears. I gazed up into his eyes and flinched back at the smug look in them. “I apologize my dear I thought you were jesting. I did not mean to frighten you.” his words sounded sincere but the look in his eyes made him seem darkly amused at my plight. My lungs constricted at his words, as my vision started to darken.

Flashback End

“What happened next?” I voiced my next question while I tried to sit up and lean my back on the side of the bench. “I tried to make a joke to calm you down, but it made your panic attack worse. Then you fainted on me, I was quite surprised. My dates don’t usually faint because of panic attacks you see.” Minos grab hand and kissed my knuckles. “I would like to offer my sincerest apologies for not noticing your distress. I hope this event has not ruined our first date together.” he stated regretfully.

Ruined? This flipping date sank like the Titanic before it even left the pier. My mouth opened to say these words out loud, but I paused at the last minute. If I had panic attack it was entirely possible that my imagination had run away with me because of my apparent fear of water. Instead, I replied “No, it hasn’t. You learn something new every day, I had no idea I was afraid of being on open water like this…”my voice stalled in my throat as my head whipped around to look over the edge of the space, I was in. “W…W…We aren’t still on the water, are we?”  

“Calm down my dear, I made sure to bring the boat back to the docks. I felt that you would not apricate waking up in the same situation that terrified you.” he stated kindly while helping me to my feet and off the boat. “Why don’t we go ahead to dinner and relax a little and I’ll you back home.” I nodded solemnly and followed him to the car.

Minos opened the door of the car and gently help me into the passenger seat, as he closed the door, I grabbed the seat belt and buckled myself in. I felt out of sorts an unsure of myself as he drove down the road to the Italian restaurant that he had promised to take me to. “Ristorante Divino is a wonderful place I’m sure you’ll enjoy the food.” The rest of the drive was silent as I tried to get my thoughts and feelings together. Once we arrived there we were seated in an intimate corner. I took a deep breath and tried to relax and look at the menu. The first part of this date sucked but I would be darned, if I at least didn't get a good meal out of it.

I ordered the baked ziti an Italian bread along with some red wine and Minos ordered another liquid, blood and steak (rare). When the waiter brought our order, I was kind of glad I had picked something other than steak.  Looking at him neatly cut the mostly raw meat made me sick to my stomach.  Imagining that I was the poor unfortunate animal or being on the plate and that I would slowly be devoured by this terrifying man.

I tried to keep in mind that I had had a panic attack and my imagination was probably running away with me, but I could not shake the feeling that he had left something out of his retelling of events. Refocusing on my ziti and the bread the waiter had brought I ate my fill in silence. “Can I ask you a question?”

“Of course.” I answered without thinking.

“What made you set a date with a vampire?” he asked with a grin.

“Well mostly it was curiosity.” I said with a laugh.

“Curiosity huh? Well then my lady I am at your service, ask any question that you might have.”

I perked up a bit from my slouch and gazed at him to see if he was serious. “Well since we're at an Italian restaurant I was wondering why vampires can’t be around onions and garlic?”

 “Well, much like cats, vampires can't ingest garlic or onions although we can smell them without harm. But if the juice of a garlic clove or onion is rubbed onto a person's skin and a vampire bites them, the vampire is in for a nasty and deadly surprise because in both cats and vampires a component of garlic and onions works to destroy red blood cells and causes a special kind of anemia.”

Seems legit…well maybe. “But people have anemia all over the world and they just take iron pills for it. Why would that be deadly to vampires?”

“A vampire’s blood is one part blood and one part magic. But something must be forsaken for the magic to come into the mix. Vampires, therefore, have forsaken the ability to create red blood cells. In a normal human, like you, red blood cells die every 120 or so days, but your body retains the ability to create new ones. Since our bodies don't, we need the equivalent of a full person's blood every 120 days. Instead of draining an entire person every four months, we drink a little bit of blood each day. That gives us the equivalent of an entire person in a rotating 120-day cycle.”

“Interesting! so, anemia adding further destruction of red blood cells would be really, really fudged up, right?”

Minos chuckled “exactly. If a vampire worked in just garlic or onions their death would not be immediate, but it would gradually occur as the anemia weakened their system irreparably.”

     The conversation kept flowing fluidly as he answered all my questions, but for some reason, when the waiter brough out the dessert menu, I got a little nervous. Minos reached across the table and slid his hand over mine lifting it gently. His hand was cool and smooth. Not ice cold because he did have some warmed blood flowing through his veins from the drinks, but it was definitely on the cool side. “I had a wonderful time tonight,” he said shifting closer to my side of the table bringing my wrist to his lips.

A shiver crawled up my spine, and my vision went white as a picture passed through my minds eye. I gulped as my mind cleared, what the fudge was that! “Oh, you sound rather surprised,” my voice echoed hollowly in my ears.

He laughed and once again I felt my vision waver. “Well, maybe I am. I didn’t know what to expect when taking a cute little one like you out on a first date.”

“Frist date…hmmm… that seems to indicate there will be others.” I said casually while my mind went a mile a minute.    

He looked at me very seriously. The good-natured twinkle in his eyes was underlined with something dark and sinful. On someone else it might have been charming or downright sexy, but on Minos it chilled me to the core. His hand squeezed mine slightly—not at all to hurt but to create a more intense form of contact. “If I have anything to say about it, it will be the first of many.”

There was no doubt in my mind that the second part of our date was okay, no question about that, but I didn’t understand why Minos was so intense. It was like he was trying to turn the feelings that were supposed to occur on a first dated into feelings that would develop after months of dating. As a vampire who was, for all intents and purposes, immortal—shouldn’t he slow down? Did he think I was easy? “Oh, you’re just full of surprises aren’t’ you,” I questioned balefully.

Minos looked at me for a moment amused at my tone and then burst out into thick, rich laugher. “Now you’ve done it. Just for that comment, I refuse to relent until I have utterly charmed you.” And that was not okay, because I just kind of got the feeling that I’d managed to fudge myself over.  

After dinner minnows drove us back to his flat. I walked him up to his door and he ran in and returned with my flowers, without asking me for a nightcap. I couldn't help but thank the Lord that he did not ask me in.

“Unfortunately, I can't invite you in for a nightcap this time my adorable little rose. I find myself quite smitten with you at this moment so I would like to take it slow. Let me take you out on another date soon. What do you think?”

Feeling catty, I responded “I would have to think about it, you charming devil.”

“I will do my best to win you over then. Until next time my sweet where I will enjoy your company once again.” He stated as he drew me in for a surprise kiss. In an instant my whole body froze up. Oh, my fudging God did this man just kiss me. Minos had instigated a kiss, was I giving out kiss me vibes?

I looked up at him startled as he came down once again and this time laid a butterfly kiss on the tip of my nose. He moved his head further and gently kissed each side of my jaw. It was like a mockery of a loving embrace. “Minos!” my voice came out in a startled screech.

He paused, and eventually lifted his eyes to meet mine. His eyes were so brimming with emotion that I could actively see him struggling with dark desire.

“Well, I should be getting back now,” he said, still staring at me, lost in that mazelike mind of his. I took that as my clue to get the hell out of dodge! As I tried to pull away, I noticed he had one arm locked around my waist gotten there.

“Um, Minos?”

“Mmm, yes?”

“This is your house. Also, would you mind letting go please?”

he looked behind him at the door and then back at me with his eyebrows drawn together as if he was confused. “Oh yes, so it is. Then I guess you should be getting back now.” He sounded even more distraught at that, although the outcome of either action would have resulted in the same physical separation.

As he released his hold on me, I stepped away carefully and turned around. “Have a lovely evening,” I stated quietly. Then as I made it around the corner hightailed it out of there like the wolves were on my hills.

Yup, I pretty much turned tail ran I could've sworn I heard his rich laughter following me down the stairs. as I turned back what sport to look at his building, I'm sure I saw his silhouette in the window gazing down at me as I entered my car. Yeah, that was super creepy goanna take a rain check on any dates like ever.

Chapter Text

Part 2—Going on a date with a Vampire Human.

Chapter 11

Last Time: I stepped away carefully and turned around. “Have a lovely evening,” I stated quietly. Then as I made it around the corner hightailed it out of there like the wolves were on my heels.

Yup, I pretty much turned tail and ran. I could've sworn I heard his rich laughter following me down the stairs.

Now:

         That Sunday I awoke with a scream on my lips and white clouding my vision. My mind replayed fuzzy pictures of muffled voices and dawning despair that threatened to drown me. With the highlights of yesterday's date with Minos curling around me and submerging me in dark water long after the pictures had vanished. It was a terrifying feeling, one of encroaching darkness that felt as if a blanket of ice had been pulled over my very soul. 

          I stared at the light green walls of my bedroom for what felt like hours, until my phone lit up with a reminder. “Date with Di Angelo!” popped up so loudly across my screen, that I couldn't help but huff out a startled laugh. I had a date with Di Angelo at a burger joint, the very thought had me giggling in relief. Thinking about how far from perfect my first date had been with that disaster of a kiss and my panic attack on the water still gave me a chill. However it was comforting to know that there was no possible way for a fast food joint to scare the bejesus out of me.

          In contrast to the night before, I was a bit excited prior to my date with Di Angelo. I used the time before our date to run errands and shop. Coming home just in time to hop in the shower before the date.

         Since we were only going to The Beacon Drive-In and nowhere outrageously fancy, I decided to break out my favorite crown & ivy shorts and lace back short sleeve blouse. I haired them with a pair of flip-flops. Not exactly dressed to impress, but definitely cute as a button ready to stand the heat and grab some good grub. 

       As I was putting in some earrings I heard the distinct rumblings of a Ford barreling down the street. I glanced out the window behind me through the reflection in my mirror and saw a, 2004, Ford Ranger pull up to the curve in front of my house. I walked to the door and stepped out as Di Angelo was ambling up my walkway.

         He was dressed in his typical style, all black with a long black trench coat over the ensemble just to keep things interesting.  His dark hair was still sexily brushing his cheekbones and his brown eyes seemed extra bright, possible because they weren't hidden behind the haze of cigarette smoke.

       “What are you, a park ranger?” I asked. He looked at me, with confusion wrinkling his brow. “The four-wheel drive, and the fact that it looks like your vehicle was on pimp my ride mountain edition. We live in South Carolina, and not the hilly part. Not sure if it’s the most practical vehicle for the area.”

        “Bold of you to assume I live here.” he said, his voice rough reinforcing the striking image set by his truck and currently his surly attitude.As he climbed up to my porch, I noticed that he had something in his hands. It looked suspiciously like a present. 

“Oh, well, I guess I just assumed. Whatcha got there Enthusiast?”

“Just a little present. You can open it now or later tonight before I rock your world.” Okay, seriously, after he said that my brain might have vacated the premises. “Huh!” My face must have been redder than a mountain pride tomato. 

He stared at me with one eyebrow raised and smirked. “We are going to have so much fun together.”

One hour later

        “You know when you said that you were going to rock my world, I didn't think you meant this.” I giggled dazedly stepping off the tiltawhirl. After my spectacular dizzy spell at those misinterpreted words. I spent the first five minutes of our date red faced with Di Angelo laughing into his hand, before explaining that we were making a pit stop before dinner. He had assured me that everything he had planned for tonight was PG-13, with added wiggling eyebrows. 

     “So, you realize you have yet to open your present right?” He once again presented me with the box I had been too flustered to take at the start of our date. The small box was wrapped in bachelor wrapping paper; in other words, the Sunday comics. It brought a small smile to my face as my eyes met a picture of Garfield eating lasagna.

      I carefully opened it up to find a little blue box. An infamous little blue box. A Tiffany's little blue box. My heartbeat accelerated quickly as my eyebrows met my hairline and I looked up at him and asked. “Okay, is there like, a vile of blood in here or something? You’ve been looking kind of peaky since the Rock n’ Ride roller coaster ride.”

      “No, I ate before I got here.” I jumped back from him with erratically waving arms and he snorted and shook his head. “Really, Alisia, do you know anything at all about vampire habits?” he stated with an indulgent poke to my cheek.   

      I turned my attention back to the present, which might or might not set my face aflame once again. Inside the tissue paper was a small silver patterned mirror. It was small enough to fit in the palm of my hand and perfect for my purse. 

“You bought this to replace the one that broke after the party?”

“I did. Don’t break this one, it was much more expensive than the one you had.” 

        At this point, I wasn’t sure if Di Angelo was passive aggressive, an unrepentant tease, scared of intimacy, or had foot in mouth syndrome since he seemed to try to ruin every single sweet moment he created. I got on my tiptoes and planted a small kiss on his cheek. 

“Thank you, my dear enthusiast. I'll treasure it always.” I turned and gently slipped it into my purse then laced my arm into his.

He raised his eyebrows at the contact. “What is this?” he asked, indicating my arm in his.

“Well, you seem to have some of the traits necessary to be a good if snarky friend, but other parts of you are sorely lacking. I’m going to show you how to treat a lady.”

“Well, those lessons will come in handy if I ever decide to date a lady, but right now with you lil diva so why bother?”

       “Here’s your first lesson. If you don't have anything nice to say, keep that pretty mouth shut.” I said with a laugh as a slow smile spread across his face. “Now, are you still going to feed me or what? I’m hungry for a burger and I need some sweet tea like nobody’s business.”

A rich unexpected laugh escaped his lips as he bowed. “Why of course my glutinous diva.”

My eyes crinkled in a happy smile as he led me back to the truck, with a spring in both our steps.