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“Do you want to get married? To me, specifically.”
Jake almost spat out his beer. He looked over at Bob, who was trying his best to casually lounge against the wall as if he hadn’t just proposed to Jake.
“What?” he asked, almost feeling out of breath.
They had only met a few weeks ago after being recalled to Topgun for a secret mission which required the best of the best. At this very bar, Jake had mocked the other man as he introduced himself, something he deeply regretted and had apologised for since before the mission was over.
After the mission's success Cyclone had realised what an asset the team was and decided to make the temporary adjustment permanent. They were a sort of specialist team now, operating out of Top gun for the time being.
Over the weeks of training the group had grown closer. It started two by two: Phoenix and Bob, who later added Rooster, Fanboy and Payback, Jake and Javy. Eventually Jake and Bradley formed somewhat of a truce, and then something akin to comraderie. The tipping point came the day Maverick forced them all to play football on the beach, after which the aviators could only be described as friends, if somewhat unwillingly.
From then on, nights at the Hard Deck consisted of pool, darts, beer (or in Bob's case water), Bradshaw’s piano playing (which Jake found mediocre at best) and a lot of teasing instead of pushing buttons. There was also the occasional scuffle over whether someone had stepped too close to the dart board when throwing, drunken attempts at wingmanning friends to other patrons in the bar, and Jake tousling Bob’s perfectly placed hair when he won them a game of pool against Bradshaw and Fanboy. And Bob would smile that sheepish smile, and Jake would catch himself looking in his direction for a little too long.
Jake hadn’t stopped being a little shit as Phoenix described him just because they were all friends now, but he had changed. He’d been humbled, and realised that maybe he could let down his walls a little. He was still cocky and overly-confident though, which Natasha never failed to mention..
In those passing weeks, it had never crossed Jake’s mind that Bob Flyd might want to marry him.
Jake blinked away his thoughts and focused on Bob, who was waiting for an answer, still not making eye contact. “Did you hear what I said?” he asked, fiddling with his paper cup.
“Again, Bob. What? You want to get married?”
“Not like, actually.” Bob said quickly. “Just like, fake.”
“Do you want me to pretend to be your boyfriend?” Jake asked Bob, his eyebrows almost touching his hairline. He tried to seize Bob up, understand the situation.
“No, I want to be legally married. Like in court. It’s legal now anyway, so I thought why not?”
Why not? What does that even mean?
Jake asked him.
“It’s just for the benefits?”
“Like what? Are you waiting until marriage?”
Bob met his eyes for a split second before looking away. Jake could swear he saw a tint of pink on his cheeks.
“Shut up, Hangman. No, the benefits you get as a married soldier. Like higher pay, better healthcare, all that. Remember we discussed it yesterday with Rooster and Nat?”
“We did? Oh yeah we did.” Jake asked, suddenly remembering the conversation. They’d been discussing if Mav and Penny were going to get hitched before deciding it was unlikely (In Jake’s opinion they just didn’t seem the type. They were happy as was.) when Phoenix made a comment about that it wouldn't be that worth it since he’s out of the military anyway. Jake had sort of zoned out a little after that.
Jake mulled it over for a moment.
“Forget it, it was just an idea.” Bob said after a while. “It was stupid, I’m sorry.”
“No, it’s not a terrible idea actually.” Jake replied.
“It’s not?” Bob sounded sceptical.
“No, I mean, I’m not planning on getting married soon, and if either of us did we could just get divorced. Keep our financed separate and
“Are you serious?” Bob asked, finally meeting Jake’s gaze and holding it. “Will you marry me?”
“Yeah, I’m considering it.”
“It’s a yes or no question, Seresin.”
“Yes, Floyd. I’ll marry you.” Jake said with a smile. “My mom will be so happy.”
Bob punched him lightly in the arm at the sarcasm. Jake noticed he’d almost finished his beer.
“Let me get you the next one. You’re my fiancé after all.” Jake said with a wink.
“Ew,” Bob made a face.. “Maybe this was a bad idea after all.”
*
Jake knew it was a terrible idea, and it was very likely that every one of their friends thought so. Javy hadn’t exactly kept his thoughts secret from Jake: “You’re an idiot, Jake, you know that? A goddamn idiot.”
Javy knew Jake better than anyone. He knew he was reckless and didn’t think about consequences, but he also knew Jake was fragile, and prone to falling in love.
“You’re gonna get hurt.” Javy said. “Things like this never end well.”
“I’ll be fine. It’s just a piece of paper that will give me a pay raise. And we’ll just get an annulment it if we want to get divorced.”
“When.”
“What?”
“When you get divorced, Jake. You’re not gonna stay married forever.”
“I know that, Javy. I just misspoke. When we get divorced we’ll get an annulment and just a simple prenup so our financials are separate.”
Javy sighed. “I still don’t like this, man.”
He still agreed to be Jake’s best man, even though those weren’t exactly necessary at the courthouse wedding
*
The following Saturday Jake, Bob, Nat, Bradley and Javy met on the courthouse steps and walked inside. They were all properly dressed up in black tie suits and ankle length dresses because Natasha and Bradley had insisted, and Jake didn’t exactly mind. If this was his only wedding he might as well look good.
Jake and Bon very quickly signed some papers and were then apparently married. Nat threw rice over their heads as they exited the building and then forced them to stand hand in hand and pose as she took a million pictures on her phone.
For the final photo she handed her mobile to a passer-by and they all huddled together.
“Okay, smile for your wedding photo! This is what we’ll keep in the bookcase to show the kids!” She cheerily said and
Jake kissed Bob on the cheek.
“What are you,-” Bob let out a laugh, making it very hard for Jake to keep his lips on Bob’s cheek.
Click!
They thanked their impromptu photographer and looked over the photos.
“You almost look like a real couple,” Bradley said at the last photo.
Bob and Jake met each other’s eyes. “All for the kids,” Jake joked. Javy shot him a look.
Afterwards they jumped into Bob’s Pickup and made their way to the Hard Deck for their reception, or rather: Bob sipping a coke and the four of them drinking themselves drunk in a booth until the early hours of the morning, when Bob drove them back to base.
And then life continued as normal. Almost.
*
The fact that Jake and Bob were married didn't really come up. Nobody really cared. As they should, Jake supposed.
They would still go to work, still spend free time at the Hard Deck playing pool, often Jake and Javy against Bob and Phoenix. In the background Bradshaw would be playing something on the piano, as ever, and Fanboy and Payback would be throwing darts on the other side of the room or hitting on girls at the bar.
It seemed only Jake was hung up on the fact that he was now somebody’s husband. That he was married. Weird.
On one such occasion at the Hard Deck, things started shifting:
“I’m gonna get some water.” Bob said, handing his pool cue over to Phoenix, who was lining up their next shot. “Anyone want anything while I’m over there?” Bob asked, heading towards Penny at the bar
”I’ll have a rum coke” Jake called after him, hands resting on his own pool cue.
”Which one? Zero? Sugar?”
And Jake found himself saying:
”Is that one of the ingredients or are we doing nicknames now?” Jake asked with a cheeky grin and tilted his head to the side.
”No, I- I just meant do you want coke zero or like, with sugar in it.” Bob said, his face flushing lightly.
Jake’s grin widened.
Jake had meant it to be a joke, but it had come out more flirty than intended. Bob’s flustered reaction made him want to double down.
”Shut it Bagman,” Phoenix replied before he had a chance to add something more. She sunk a ball into the left right corner.
“You love me,” he teased her with a poke of his pool cue in her side. She didn’t disagree with him, but flashed him the finger without a word. Javy got ready to take his shot for Jake and his team.
With a smile Jake looked up and focused on Bob as he was leaning over the bar, giving Penny the drink order. He could practically feel the cogs turning in his brain. He could have fun with this, he thought. Jake quickly looked away as Bob turned around now, water and Jake’s drink in hand.
“I got you the zero. I know you’re crazy about your training regime.” Bob said when he came up to Jake, handing over his drink.
“Thanks,” Jake said and took a sip. “... Sugar.” He then added with a grin.
“Shut up,” Bob mumbled, and shoved Jake lightly in the chest. Jake let out a hearty laugh, but it didn’t pass him by that pink crept up on Bob’s cheeks again as he walked over to Phoenix, taking over the pool cue from her.
*
The nicknames gradually became a thing.
Jake teased Bob with them, and Bob would get flustered and wave his hands in Jake’s direction to make it stop.
Jake would say: “Grab me a water, Sweetheart.”
Then: “Do you have change for a twenty, Sunshine?”
And eventually: “Light of my life, how about a game of pool?”
After a while Bob gave up on making Jake stop and just rolled his eyes and hid a smile Jake loved to catch a glimpse of, so he continued to find more and more outlandish nicknames to call Bob.
Anything from food related (Honey, Pumpkin, Sugarplum…) to adjectives (Beautiful, Precious, Wonderful…) to painfully ironic (McDreamy, Papabear, Foxy) to anything you could practically imagine Mav reluctantly call them (Ace, Sport, Kiddo…).
Jake’s personal favourite category was one he had dubbed: “Things a man in the 50’s would call his wife”. This included Doll, Darling, Sweetheart, and of course, Sugar.
And whenever Jake said them Bob would smile that sheepish smile, and Jake’s eyes would linger a little too long there.
*
Things were the same. But things had shifted. And it wasn’t only the paycheck Jake received in the mail every month.
Jake still teased and made fun of him, but instead of taking the pool cue out of Bob’s hand to take over the game and impress Bradshaw like he’d done in the first weeks of knowing him, he now shoved it into his hand and forced him to play a round with him.
When he teased Bob it was with a flirty connotation in a hope to see him get flushed, compared to how Jake had been trying to psyche the other man out just a few weeks earlier. Jake savoured those moments when Bob’s brain seemed to short wire and he stuttered out some reply to Jake’s suggestive remarks.
“For having played pool almost every day for the last three months you’re not very good.” Jake commented as Bob missed his third shot in a row one night.
Jake leant over the table to take his own shot, looking up to find Bob’s eyes already on him. He shot him a wink as he took a shot without looking.
Bob broke eye contact and lined up his next shot that was clearly not going to accomplish anything other than scattering the remaining balls further.
“Wait, no. You have the wrong angle.” Jake said before Bob could take it. He walked around the table and gripped Bob’s cue stick, leaving his own leaning against the table. Bob looked over his shoulder, where Jake was now standing slightly behind him. “I expect my husband to play correctly.” Jake said with a smile and bumped Bob’s hip with his.
“Shut up,” Bob smiled and rolled his eyes, as always.
He moved the stick two inches to the left and changed the angle slightly. ”There.”
When he looked up again he found Bob still watching him. Jake realised his hip and thigh were pressed against the back of Bob’s. Jake couldn’t exactly read his expression. “Focus on the game, Doll.” Jake said. ”Get down low and see the ball at eye level. Like this.”
Bob copied the pose Jake had just showed him.”Good, now:” Jake said, and leaned over Bob to point to the balls. ”If you hit the Green straight on it will hit the red and send it to that corner.”
Bob shuddered underneath him.
”What is it?” Jake.
”Your breath is tickling me.” Bob said.
”Oh, sorry,” Jake said and was about to take a step back.
”No, it's fine. Just help me take the shot and let’s get this over with, okay?”
”Whatever you want, baby.”
A while later Javy pulled Jake aside by the jukebox.
”What was that?” Javy sounded irritated.
”What?” Jake asked?
”You bending Bob over the pooltable.”
“Oh no, I was just helping him take a shot.” Jake defended himself.
“Did you need to eyefuck him whilst doing it?”
“I wasn’t - I was just- Fuck off.” Jake said and pushed Javy lightly in the chest. “It’s not like we’re dating.”
“No, but you aren’t making things easier for Bob.”
“What do you mean?
“He’s been struggling forever with his sexuality and coming out. He’s from a small town in the midwest. Figure it out for yourself.” Javy paused. ”And you know you catch and lose feelings quickly, Jake. Don’t lead him on.”
”It’s not like that, it’s… Bob.”
Javy gave him a sceptical look. “If you say so. Just remember what I said before. Don’t get yourself wrapped up in something where someone gets hurt.”
“I’m not going to get hurt!” Jake crossed his arms.
“I said someone, Jake.” Javy said, and walked away.
*
“Do you think I shouldn’t have married Bob?” Jake asked Bradshaw one day in the locker rooms.
“Oh boy, are you having a midlife crisis?” Rooster asked, drying himself off from the shower.
“No I just mean, did it complicate things?”
Rooster shrugged. “I don’t really think about it. Easy to forget about it. Why? Have you noticed a change?”
“Not really. It’s just something Javy said that’s bugging me.”
“That you keep eyefucking?” Bradshaw asked casually.
“What? No.” Yes. “Why would you say that?”
Bradley paused to look Jake in the eye. “Have you really not noticed the way he looks at you?”
“What? Are you saying Bob is in love with me or something?”
“You tell me. You’re the one that keeps calling him sickly sweet nicknames and yes, we’re all tired of it.”
Jake thought back to an instance a few weeks prior. They had a weekend off, so Bradshaw, Javy, Nat and Jake had jumped into Bob’s car for a road trip. They had driven two hours north to a small lake town and pitched up their tents close to the water.
At night they had lit a campfire on the sand and grilled marshmallows. One by one they’d slipped away into their tents until only Jake and Bob remained. Jake hadn’t been ready to climb into the tent he shared with Javy and go to sleep yet.
They had laid on the sand next to the fire, pointing out stars and constellations to each other. Unfortunately they only knew three.
“Hey.” Jake said, after a while, turning to Bob in the dark. His face was illuminated from the dim light of the dying fire.
“Hey.” Bob turned to meet his eyes.
“You know what I thought about?” Jake asked Bob.
“What?”
“That this is kind of our honeymoon.”
Bob punched his arm slightly. “I’m offended you didn’t splurge on me.”
“What?” Jake asked and propped himself up on an elbow. “Where would you want to go on our honeymoon?”
“I thought you said this was it?”
“Hypothetically. Come on, where have you always wanted to go?”
Bob was quiet as he thought for a while. Jake studied his features in the fire- and moonlight. He had to admit Bob was handsome. His glasses did their best to hide it, but Bob had ocean blue eyes Jake would rather look at than the lake by their feet. Bob's hair when it was wind tousled and free from gel looked so soft. Jake wanted to run his hand through it and see if he was right. He didn’t of course.
“Maybe the Bahamas? That would be cool. Or Hawaii.”
“So a proper sunny holiday? No adventure or rock climbing?”
“You asked about the honeymoon, Jake. And on a honeymoon you eat lots of food, drink piña coladas, sunbathe and fuck each others brains out. That’s the whole point.”
Jake had looked around them. “Some honeymoon this was then. At least we had s’mores.”
Bob had cracked a small smile. Jake thought he looked pretty. “Next time, eh?”
“You’re replacing me already? I won’t allow it. I’ll take you on a second honeymoon to the Bahamas with better sun and food and-“
“We’ll fuck each others brains out?”
Jake let out a laugh at Bob's comment. “Exactly.”
Bob’s smile widened. He chuckled a little at the absurdity of it all. Jake thought it suited him.
“I like your smile.” Jake’s thoughts escaped his lips. “Especially when it’s because I tease you, buttercup”
Bob had ignored him and turned to the stars again. “Idiot.” He’d mumbled affectionately.
Something in Jake’s throat caught at that, his heart maybe.
Not long after they were forced to head into their separate tents and catch some sleep.
Jake went reluctantly, taking a last look at Bob’s shape in the dark before zipping up the entrance and getting into his sleeping bag next to an already snoring Javy.
*
Like so many of the catalysts in their friendship, the beginning of the end happened at the Hard Deck.
Jake had been chatting with a pretty girl by bar when he could hear the commotion across the room. He ignored it at first, thinking it was some drunk who’d be thrown out at any second.
”Fucking dumbass. Just get away from me.” An unknown voice called. There was some mumbling, and then the voice continued: “Can you just shut the hell up?”
”I’m sorry, it was an accident.”
Jake felt his blood go cold in his veins. That was Bob’s voice, apologising to whoever was cursing him out.
”Shit, excuse me.” Jake said, Leaving the girl and his beer at the bar. He didn’t know where this protective instinct came from, but he needed to make sure Bob was okay.
Jake made a beeline for Where the voice came from and pushed himself through the crowd of onlookers.
There, in a clearing of the crowd, a stranger stood dabbing a large spot on his shirt with paper napkins as an anxious Bob looked on.
“I really didn’t mean too..” Bob started, but was interrupted by the other man:
“I told you to shut up, I don’t give a shit.”
Jake didn’t have to hear anymore. He took a step forward and positioned himself between Bob and the stranger. “Look, he’s apologised, man. It was an accident. Just accept it and let it go.” Jake said.
“What the fuck, dude. He just spilled his drink all over my shirt.” The guy said.
”And you’re overreacting. He said he was sorry.”
“Are you the boyfriend stepping in now?” He sized Jake up. “Fucking knew he was a faggot. Can’t even fight his own battles.”
There was an uncomfortable silence in the room.
Jake clenched his jaw. “What the actual fuck did you just call him.”
“Don’t worry about it,” sniggered the guy and turned away.
“Hey. You don’t get to speak to him like that. Take it back and apologise.” Jake grabbed his arm.
“What’s it to you?” The guy asked, getting up in Jake’s face.
“Apologise.”
“Or else?”
“Or else you’ll deal with me.”
“And who the hell are you, exactly?”
“I’m his fucking husband,” Jake lunged at the man and punched him across the jaw. “Jesus fuck that hurt.” He exclaimed after the impact, shaking out his fist.
“What the fuck dude, you just punched me!” The guy exclaimed, stumbling back.
“And I’ll do it again if you disrespect him.” Jake threatened. “Now I believe you owe my friend an apology oryou leave the bar.”
“You can’t make me?”
“Actually,” Jake said, looking up at Penny behind the bar. “Permission to throw him out?”
“Permission granted,” Penny replied and rang the bell.
Javy and Fanboy stepped forward from the crowd and helped Jake carry out the man, despite his protests and struggles.
When they’d chucked him out on the sand, Jake dusted off his hands, perhaps a little overdramatically.
“Next time, don’t be homophobic, and stay the fuck away from my husband. Clear?” Jake said to the man before walking inside without waiting for a reply.
He had a slight smile on his face. That had felt strangely good.
Jake looked around the room for Bob. It took him a moment to lacte him, but finally he found him in a corner with Phoenix. When she saw Jake approach she patted Bob on the arm and excused herself. She shot Jake a look he couldn’t quite decipher as she walked away.
Bob looked up at Jake. His eyes were wide and he looked shaken.
“Hey, Bob. Are you alright, Sweetheart? Talk to me.” Jake asked, placing his hands on Bob’s shoulders and rubbing gently up and down his arms. “I’m sorry I got carried away, Sugar. I just got so riled up and- God that was stupid, wasn’t it? But I don’t regret it. I probably should, it’s just… God, the way he was speaking to you-”
“Don’t play with me Jake,” Bob replied quietly, shrugging off his hands. “Not now. Not Tonight.”
Jake furrowed his eyebrows. “What do you mean?” he asked, taking a step forward. At the same time Bob took a step back.
Jake paused, hand in midair and mouth open. His stomach felt full of ice.
”Stop. I mean it.” Bob said. “I’m having a really shitty night. Don’t follow me.”
And then he walked away, leaving Jake glued to the floor, arm still outstretched after him.
*
Jake has come to the horrible realisation that he is in love with his husband. Things couldn’t be worse.
He doesn't exactly know what that means in terms of his sexuality, but he hasn't been bothered to think about it yet. That’s not the reason things couldn't be worse though, its the ache in his chest he never knew he could feel.
When Jake heard about the bird strike in their training weeks, he’d been so alarmed at the thought of his classmates and soon-to-be-friends might be dead, but he’d calmed down a little after learning about their safe eject.
Somehow, no matter how illogical or selfish it was, that fear was less than the nausea inducing ache of rejection he now felt. He didn’t even know why Bob had suddenly turned so cold. Was it that guy from the bar? Had he gone too far in fighting Bob’s battle?
Bob had been cold to him in the week since, and every time he didn’t return the wave or smile or “Morning, Sweetheart.” Jake threw at him, Jake’s hope diminished.
Because of course Bob didn’t love him back. He wouldn’t even willingly look in Jake’s direction. And Jake was getting worse for wear.
He couldn’t sleep, he had to force himself to swallow down some of his meals and and felt completely detachement from realitet weather he was working or on his free time.
“What’s cooking, good looking?”, “Good morning, sugarplum”, “Bob.”
Three more days. Three more rejections.
Finally, Jake gave up.
*
“What’s going on?” Javy asked him one lunch. Jake was pushing his food around his plate, as had become custom by this point.
“Don’t worry about it.” He muttered into the palm of his hand.
“Oh my god.” Javy hissed, looking around and lowering his voice before continuing. “One of you got hurt. And now you’re both sulking.”
“Shut up, Javy. You don’t know what you're talking about.” Jake snapped back.
“Fucking hell Jake, I-“ Javy let out a frustrated breath. “I won’t even bother saying I told you so because it will just fall on death ears.”
“I think you just did.” Jake said and stared at Javy, with a stonecold gaze.
“ Do you want to talk about it?”
Yes. “No”
“Okay.”
*
Bradshaw confronted him next: “What have you done with Bob?”
“What?” Jake looked up from the bench he was sitting on, drying the back of his head with a towel.
They were in the locker room again after a particularly hard practice. Everyone else had finished earlier and already showered and left. Only Jake and Rooster were left after a particularly long dogfight practice between the two of them.
“Not two weeks ago you asked if I thought your sham marrige with Bob was a bad idea, and suddenly he’s walking around looking like a skeleton, so I repeat: What. Did. You. Do.”
Bradshaw stood with his hands on his hips, staring Jake down.
“I don’t know, I’m trying to figure that out as well.” Jake sighed.
“Well I suggest you get on with it and apologise to him.” Rooster shook his head.
“I will.”
*
Not forty five minutes and one nervous breakdown later, Jake knocked on the door to Bob’s room. He had decided it was time, and he didn’t need Phoenix to hunt him down and kick his ass too before he gathered the courage.
Jake could hear shuffling inside the room.
“Nat, I swear to god if you’re going to tell me one more time-“ Bob’s voice fell flat as he opened door to reveal Jake.
His hair still looked a little damp from his shower and he was wearing a loose fitting T-shirt and low waisted sweatpants. Bob’s eyes darted over Jake’s face, as if trying to understand what he was doing there, and Jake got the chance to admire them.
“Hi, Bob.” He offered with a little smile.
Bob offered no such thing in return.
“What do you want?” He asked curtly.
“Can I come inside?”
“I’d prefer you didn’t,” Bob said, rooting himself in the doorway and leaning against it, arms crossed.
Jake pressed his lips together and nodded.
“I just wanted to apologise. I’m not sure what exactly I did wrong, or if you’re still upset about that jackass from the bar. I didn’t mean to step in and take over, I just wanted to help. I know you’re capable of fighting your own battles. I don’t know if I’ve said or done something I shouldn’t have, I don’t know if I broke some unspoken rule, but I can tell you’re upset with me, and that I’ve hurt you somehow. I really want to fix it. Please tell me how to fix it.” Jake said, sucking in a deep breath after his speech.
It was silent for a moment.
“I don’t care about what happened at the bar.” was all Bob offered, avoiding his eye contact.
“Come on, Bob. Work with me here. Couples are supposed to have good communication.” Jake attempted a joke. He regretted it immediately upon seeing Bob’s scowl.
“We’re not a couple.” Bob reminded him.
“No, I know, we’re only married.” Jake said with a sour tone.
“You never let me forget it.”
“What’s that supposed to mean? It was your idea in the first place. So as my legally binding husband, please communicate with me here.”
“But I’m not your husband, am I? I’m just some guy you know through work who wanted a raise. We don’t go home and sleep in the same bed, we don’t cook food and go on holiday or spend the holidays with each others families. I don’t even know your sister's names!” Bob ey pug in a rush. “I barely know you.•
“What does all that matter?” Jake asked. “It’s not like you can’t learn.”
“It matters because you keep bringing things up and calling me your ‘honey dipped teaspoon’ and all these ridiculous things and you won’t stop no matter how much I have asked you.”
“Sweetheart I-“ It just slipped out.
“DON’T DO THAT!” Bob exclaimed, banging his fists against Jake's chest, not hard enough to injure but with enough force for Jake to shut up.
Jake enfolded Bob in his arms as the other man let out a sob. He continued to bang his fists for a while before giving in and wrapping his arms around Jake’s waist. Jake hushed and rubbed his hands up and down Bob’s back as Bob continued his sobbing into Jake’s chest. Jake threaded one hand through Bobs hair and held it there.
“Let’s go inside, Sug- Bob.” Jake scolded himself, looking up and down the thankfully empty corridor.
Jake shut the door after them as Bob sat down, leaning his back against his bed. He rubbed his eyes as Jake made his way over and took a seat next to him, leaving a reasonable amount of space.
They sat in silence for what felt like forever. Bob sniffles and dried his eyes and runny nose with his arms. Jake didn’t dare move in case he’d somehow startle him and cause anothe outburst of emotion. When he’d collected himself Bob played with a spot on the carpet and refused to make eye contact.
“I think I’m in love with you.” Bob said finally.
Jake couldn’t get any words out.
“I think you’ve been growing on me for some time,” Bob sniffled again, but his voice was growing steadier. “And I didn’t realise it was as something more than friends so I asked you to marry me, because it seemed convenient and I liked spending time with you.” He let out a humourless chuckle.
Jake opened him mouth and closed it again, searching for the right words.
Bob continued: “You asked me why I was mad. I wasn’t mad, I was never mad. I was upset, and I couldn’t bring myself to talk to you.
“I realised I might want you as more than a friend and you kept making these jokes, acting like we were really a married couple and like you cared for me. And I thought at first you had figured it out and were mocking me. Later I realised you just didn’t see why I would ever object to the jokes. You didn’t think that those situations could ever be a real possibility.
“I freaked out the bar because I was scared, both of my feelings and the situation. That guy could’ve had a gun on him, or a knife. He could’ve jumped and seriously injured you, and you just stood there staring him down like he was nothing.
I’ve been afraid of people judging me for my sexuality since I was 14 and realised I liked Jack and not Elizabeth in Pirates of the Caribbean. You proclaimed you were my husband like it was nothing, but in reality that statement can get you hurt.
“And then you came to check on me like you actually cared for me in the way I wanted you to. Comforting me and calling me those nicknames. It made me realise how much I want that for real, and what a fantasy it all was with you, Jake. And I got mad at myself and I was embarrassed, so I lashed out at you for acting how I wanted you to but not for the reasons I wanted you to and for nearly getting yourself into trouble.”
Bob gripped a fistful of the carpet tightly in his fist. Finally he met Jake’s eyeline. “I’m sorry.” He whispered.
The apology hung in the air as Jake’s brain did it’s best to follow Bob’s train of thought back to the present.
“No, no, don't be sorry.” Jake spoke after realising Bob was waiting for him to. Jake moved closer and wrapped an arm around Bob’s shoulders. “Come here.”
“You don’t have to comfort me, Jake. I’ll be fine.” Bob mumbled into the embrace.
“No, shit. I’m bad at this. Words and feelings.” Jake said, cursing at himself. “I’m sorry I made you feel that way. Both scared for me and like I was making fun of you. I hope you realise I would never make fun of you in that way.” Jake hesitated. “I really like the nicknames.”
“What do you mean?”
“I think it’s cute, and it was never meant to be mocking or make you feel uncomfortable. They just slink out naturally now. I don’t really think about it.”
“Yeah?”
“Yeah.” Jake swallowed. “I think about you though. Like a lot. Like all the time. These two weeks when you haven’t spoken to me were the worst of my life.”
Bob looked up at that. “Shit, I didn’t mean to- or I did want to punish you a little wondering what was going on but I didn’t realise it would actu-“
“Hey, baby. It’s okay.” Jake said, stroking his hand up Bob’s arm. “But, I- feel the same. About… us.”
Bob’s breath hitched. “Yeah?” His voice sounded more hopeful now.
“Yeah,” Jake cracked a smile.
He saw Bob’s eyes flicker down his face and then up again.
“So you wouldn’t mind if…?” Bob asked, leaning his face closer to Jake’s.
“I would mind if you didn’t,” he replied, before closing the last of the gap and capturing Bob’s lips in a kiss.
It was sweet and tender, and when they pulled away they were chuckling at the absurdity of it all.
“We’re idiots, aren’t we?” Bob asked him.
“Completely,” Jake said, before swinging his leg to the side and shifting his body so he was straddling Bob on the floor.
Jake removed his glasses slowly, then tucked some stray hairs behind Bob’s ears. He admired the handsome man before him he was lucky enough to call his husband.
“I can’t see you as clearly now,” Bob pouted.
“You don’t need to.” Jake said, leaning in for a second kiss. Then, brushing his lips against Bob’s he whispered: “I love you too.”
The second kiss was less gentle than before. It was filled with passion, and teeth, and playful biting. It quickly turned into a heated make out session. Jake would ground his hips down into Bob and Bob would groan into the kiss and thrust his hips up, making Jake let out a delightful noise of his own.
“Should we- Do you want to?” Bob asked breathlessly when they finally pulled apart.
Jake nodded, equally as breathless.
Kisses were exchanged, belts opened and hands slipping past waistbands of sweatpants and underwear. T-shirts were stripped off and breathy moans slipped out as Bob kissed and sucked his way down Jake’s neck.
“What do you want to do,” Bob asked Jake as incoherently as before between the kisses that made Jake’s back arch.
“I-hmm. I want you to fuck me, sweetheart.” Jake said softly.
Bob pulled away for a moment to place a kiss on Jake’s forehead. “I can do that.”
*
Afterwards, they collapse on the bed together, breaths heaving. They caught each others eyes for a moment and shared a raspy laugh.
“So, how about the Bahamas then?” Jake asked after they had caught their breaths. “I never gave you that proper honeymoon.”
Bob placed a hand over Jake’s, intertwining their fingers. He smiled at Jake and tucked a hair behind Jake’s ear.
“Sounds perfect.”
*
“Are you and Bob getting that annulment or what?” Javy asked Jake the next day during lunch. “What going on there?”
Jake blushed and looked down at his food.
“I don’t know, it’s really practical, staying married like this. We have access to each other in the hospital, and all the military benefits you already know. I don’t know, I can’t really see us… un-marrying.”
Javy stared at him. “Oh, you didn’t. You did, didn’t you?”
“What?”
“You consummated the marriage! You had sex with your fucking husband, how could you?”
“Shhh- keep it down. I don’t need everyone to hear what I get up to in the free time.” Jake said, looking around him for potential eavesdroppers. “We haven’t told anyone we’re… non-platonically married now. Besides, it isn’t like that.”
“What’s it like then?”
Jake felt a small smile grow on his lips. “I love him.”
Javy sighed. “You really do, don’t you?”
Jake nodded.
“Idiot.” Javy said, although a smile was did Ming on his lips too before he scolded it. “I’m not getting you a belated wedding gift, just so you know.”
*
Jake did eventually bring Bob to the Bahamas, and they ate good food, drank piña coladas, sunbathed all day and fucked each others brains out, just as Bob liked it.