Chapter Text
Dealing with complicated feelings is not a strong trait of Brett's. He's often too worried about being a burden if he were to ever open up.
Despite these feelings, there's Reagan. Reagan made him feel like he belonged, hell, even loved. The two confided in each other often, ranting on car rides, coffee breaks and phonecalls.
Reagan spent and awful lot of time with Brett, creating some suspicion from their friends. Their friendship was questioned, was there something more?
The answer is no, at least there isn't supposed to be.
Brett didn't think about his relationship with Reagan like that, or so he thought. Things were different when Ron came around.
Brett didn't know why, but from the moment he met Ron he didn't like him. Brett lied to his friend about his feelings, but Reagan immediately knew something was up.
She'd often tell him it was okay to not like someone, even his best friend's lover.
But this made Brett feel guilty, there was no reason to dislike Ron. He was understanding of Brett, and he was so kind to Reagan. Of course he was much different then Brett, especially in terms of favorite movies, songs etc. Conversations were awkward, but that wasn't any good reason to feel the way he does.
Any time Ron was around he felt a burning sensation in his chest. It grew worse when they would flirt, touch hands, and God it hurt when they kissed.
Brett knew this feeling was nothing other than jealousy, something he is not familiar with. Even young, watching his siblings succeed at everything he couldn't he never felt jealousy.
But why is he jealous?
Brett thinks maybe it's because his time with Reagan is being taken away, or maybe Reagan has more fun with Ron, maybe she's realized Brett really is annoying.
Well, sometimes he is worried about those things. But it's more than that, more than Brett can handle on his own.
When Reagan revealed to him that she'd ended things with Ron, the complicated feelings intensified.
"I don't know if I made the right decision, I just.. need a break from all of this. I need you."
These words made Brett's stomach drop, of course she just meant that in a comforting way! Why was it suddenly so hot?
"I understand Reags! Hey why don't we order a pizza tonight and chill at my place? We can forget the world for just a night."
Regan gives a soft chuckle.
"Yeah just a night, as if we don't do this frequently. "
Brett smiles setting a hand on her shoulder.
"Whatever you need. I'm here for you, no matter how many days it takes."
Reagan removes Brett's hand and turns away.
"See you tonight."
-
Reagan had agreed to meet Brett later that night.
He had some time to himself so he worked on cleaning up the place. It wasn't like he felt the need to be clean for Reagan, he just enjoyed it personally. Reagan would be the last person to criticize a messy room.
Brett sat on his couch playing with his thumbs. He was like an impatient child waiting for his mom to pick him up from school. Reagan said she'd be there at 8, it was currently 9 or so minutes away.
While waiting, he picked out a list of movies to watch. It wasn't uncommon for Brett to pick the same movie more than once, he kneeled down by his shelf looking through his DVDs. That's right, Brett's a classic guy.
Brett flipped through the pages of the binder. He was in the mood for cheesy romance.
While trying to make a decision he heard a knock at the door. That must be Reagan.
He quickly picked himself up off of the ground to answer the door. He reached for the knob, quickly opening it to greet his best friend.
The door opened and Brett was met with a hug. He was taken aback, but leaned into it. Brett quickly realized she was crying, she was softy sobbing, and making his shoulder wet. Brett rested a hand on the back of her head and reached over to shut the door.
This was unlike Reagan, she wasn't really an open cryer. Brett couldn't imagine how she felt, falling in love and losing it.
It broke him to see her like this, her knees were weak and she could hardly support herself. Brett moved her over to the couch to sit down.
"Hey.. Reagan are you okay?"
"I'm obviously not okay asshole!"
She sniffles and met eyes with Brett.
"You're not an asshole I'm sorry."
Brett knew she didn't mean it, he took no offense.
"It's okay, you just need to let it out."
Reagan gave a heavy sigh and threw her head back into Brett's couch.
"I loved Ron so much Brett. I'm sure you know that but... I never felt that way for another person before."
Brett felt that burning feeling again. Of course she didn't feel about Brett the way she did for Ron, a friendship and a relationship are different. Brett still feels hurt by the comment but continues to listen to her.
"I've never been good with relationships. The one time I thought things were going good they didn't work out. I understand, I thought we were alike but I was wrong. He just... wants a normal life and I get it. I hate this job sometimes too, but I can't give it up. Maybe I'll find someone one day who can handle my lifestyle."
"Well you have me."
"Yeah... But a boyfriend you know?"
The realization struck Brett. He wanted to be her boyfriend. He was glad she was single. God, he felt so terrible. He was jealous of Ron because he wanted to be Ron. He wanted to be the one to take her out on dates, spend all of his time with, embrace her in a kiss. His heart pounded in his chest as he imagined what it would be like, a future with Reagan.
Why didn't Reagan want him as a boyfriend? Brett could do everything Ron did, and more. Hell he already does. Brett works with Reagan, invites her over, and knows everything about her. Not to mention, Brett plans on staying right where he is. Wherever Reagan goes, he'll be willing to follow.
Brett shakes his head in guilt. It's wrong to think this way, Ron did nothing wrong. He cared for Reagan, he wanted the best for her.
Brett sighs, he feels selfish. It is selfish, but he aches for Reagan. He always has, but he's just come to terms with it.
"I could be-"
Reagan tilts her head looking at Brett. He'd been silent for a while, she wondered what he'd been thinking about and what he was going to say next.
"-your boy best friend."
He smiled and Reagan just laughed hugging him.
"You're right Brett, dating guys is overrated. Especially when the best man is already my bro."
Brett leaned into the hug, tightly clenching his jaw. There was no way he could tell Reagan his true feelings right after she ended a relationship, it was wrong and he knew it.
Still, he wanted to tell her so bad just to avoid the hurt.