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Chapter Text

‘Human’

Cale Henituse felt bad for the dragon, who’s pride was probably the only thing holding back the tears. It was a fact that Raon was still a child, not much older than ten. 

Despite being dead, knowing that he was dead , Cale could still see and hear his surroundings, as if he was turned into a ghost. 

It hurt worse when his eyes landed on the others surrounding his death bed. The Cat Tribe kittens sobbed next to his body, curled up against each other. Choi Han stood next to his bed, his face unreadable as he watched Cale take his last breath. 

It was a good thing his death was a silent affair. 

Cale closed his eyes peacefully, knowing well that everything was done and okay. 

He could finally rest like he always wanted. 

At one point of his life, Cale Henituse was Kim Rok Soo. 

It was easy to forget his original identity, the longer he stayed cooped up in the world of the Birth of a Hero, the much surer he was of his identity as the trash of the Henituse family. (He wasn’t exactly trash any longer in recent years, but it was always funny to pretend back to the days he was.) 

He was Kim Rok Soo once. The orphan. The team leader. 

So, when he resurfaced from the silent abyss, gasping for air in a cold room as his mother whispered his name, Kim Rok Soo wailed, a gut wrenching cry of a maelstrom of hurt, pain, grief— 

Cale— no. Kim Rok Soo. 

His name was Kim Rok Soo. To bloom even when the world was against him. 

Rok Soo remembered this life. It tastes bittersweet, a mix of the good and the bad. 

Kim Rok Soo didn’t want this life. 

He didn’t want the hurt and the pain again. He refused to cry over the dead bodies of his parents, his teammates, his brothers . 

“Rok Soo, my baby,” his mother murmured joyously, her breath tickling his cheek. “You have to be strong, and grow green even in the harshest weather.” 

He wondered who was cruel enough to do this to him again. To toss him back into a life like this. 

Kim Rok Soo was a weird child. 

He was silent, never fussy. His cries are silent tears that leak from the corner of his eyes, and his pains were shoved down to the deepest corners, never shown beyond an involuntary twitch or frown on his face. 

His mother was a kind soul who worried over his state frequently. At night, she whispered her fears to her husband, never knowing that her own child understood her pain, yet too tired to do anything about it.  

Rok Soo couldn’t move. 

His eyes were soulless, a window to the empty husk. 

His mother often stared at his eyes in fear, caressing his head gently as she murmured her worries. 

“Rok Soo,” she would cry. It was a normal occurrence for her to curl up around him, running her fingers through his growing hair as she was reminded of the words from the child psychologist they had visited. 

Trauma. 

As young as Rok Soo was, he was already facing traumatic events bad enough to render him soulless. 

But she could never figure out why, or how. 

Only Kim Rok Soo knew. 

Because you will be gone soon. This whole world will be gone soon, and it’s going to be cold. 

Kim Rok Soo was supposed to bloom well even in the cold. But at this rate, he would freeze before he stepped foot into the freezing temperature. 

He wasn’t made to go through this life twice. 

Rok Soo didn’t see his father much. By the end of his nine years of life, his parents were dead either way, like they were once before. 

There was no more Mother to caress his head worriedly, or cry over her fears and worries the longer she stared at Rok Soo. 

He lived on his own, independent and used to it all. Rok Soo lived on despite the harshness of society, just like his mother had wished. 

He already knew what was coming. 

So, he continued down the same path, life rushing around monotonously. 

In a blink of an eye, Kim Rok Soo turned 20. 

He was much more prepared this time, with a well-trained body and a well-packed bag to accommodate his new living standards in the cataclysm— 

Only, the day passed normally, without the expected apocalypse happening. 

And Rok Soo went on with his life at 20, shocked and numb at the unexpected turn of events. 

What was the point, if he never needed to do anything to save his teammates, to save Jung Soo and Soo Hyuk? 

They were never going to meet at this point. And Rok Soo will never be able to say sorry to Jung Soo; will never be able to see him smile even once more. 

At 22, he took a train, pressing down the hope that sprouted in his chest at catching a glimpse of Jung Soo living his life like he should. 

He should have known, his luck was never good. 

The world collapsed once again. 

And the only thing Rok Soo could do was survive. 

He hated Kim Rok Soo. 

Kim Dokja didn’t expect to find another man standing next to Yoo Joohyuk. 

Not someone with dark hair and eyes that glinted red under the sun. Or someone with numerous scars covering almost every inch of his body. 

In a way, this mysterious person felt scarier than Yoo Joohyuk could ever be. 

His eyes were dead, as dead as the zombies right behind them. 

“Hyung,” the mysterious man called out to Yoo Joohyuk, staring at Kim Dokja with knowing eyes. He searched Dokja’s eyes with hiw own, piercing red digging deep into his very own thoughts. 

“He knows.” 

This man, whoever it was, was much scarier than Yoo Joohyuk could ever be. 

If only he could remember who. 

Chapter Text

The first time the world ended, Kim Rok Soo was stuck in a convenience store, halfway through his shift as monsters stampeded over innocent citizens. 

The second time, he was in a train, ignoring the interested glances he received from a man sitting in front of him. 

Rok Soo was aware that it was his scars that had gained such interest. Even in a world where the cataclysm didn’t occur, he had somehow retained Record and Instant. The scars were simply attributed to the numerous times he had to rely on Instant to survive as a child. 

There was a bitter taste at the back of his throat at the thought of that. 

Even in a peaceful world, Rok Soo’s luck was rotten. 

The man looked away when the world shuddered, the train coming to a halt without warning. Rok Soo was rocked in his seat, gripping the edge tightly to prevent himself from lurching forwards. 

Some weren’t as lucky, but there wasn’t enough time to get mad amidst the panic, especially when the air above them started to shimmer as a white fluffy thing appeared in thin air. 

Kim Rok Soo closed his eyes, letting out a pained sigh. 

Recognition was almost instantaneous. A white dokkaebi and a well-built man with dark hair and fearless eyes. 

Rok Soo wouldn’t be who he was if he didn’t consume an endless amount of fiction. 

Three Ways to Survive in a Ruined World. 

He wanted to curse somebody.

He curled his fists as the dokkaebi went on, increasing the panic among the crowd. He closed his eyes as a head exploded not far from him, blood landing on his cheek. 

The train carriage was silent. 

Kim Rok Soo remembered the fear running through his veins in his first life. The shivering limbs, the terrified gasps as he watched helplessly. The images of broken bones, brain matter and blood splatters circled his head endlessly, playing like a broken record on replay. 

Record played, and Rok Soo’s nails dug into the palm of his hands. Blood dripped from his hands, joining the blood pooling up at his feet. 

He wondered why he felt so numb. 

He’s never killed someone before. Rok Soo had lived through an apocalypse and a war, yet a person’s death had never been directly on his hands. 

And now, to survive, it was asking him to kill. 

So, Kim Rok Soo reached out for the old man a few seats away amidst the panic. 

It was better this way, he thought as he snapped the man’s neck swiftly. If he really was in Three Ways to Survive a Ruined World, then the old man was better off dead than to suffer in this world. 

And, if he were to be the villain, then, people wouldn’t have to feel so betrayed, would they? Especially if they had to watch their loved ones turn on them, to commit the worst of the worst. 

Yeah, Kim Rok Soo was a bastard, a good-for-nothing. 

He activated Instant, the world stopping. 

In 5 seconds, Rok Soo was painted in red, and the world was a sea of red. 

What was his dream? 

To live a slacker life? 

Kim Rok Soo let out a pained laugh, wincing when he pulled on his new wounds. 

In order for Yoo Joonghyuk to let him live, he had to show that he was worthy enough. 

He turned, watching the other expectantly. 

Yeah, he thought. In Three Ways to Survive a Ruined World, there wouldn’t be any way for him to live such a life. Everyday was another struggle to live. 

It was the same as his first life as Kim Rok Soo. 

To rest was to die. 

His mother didn’t name him Rok Soo for him to lie down and let death take him. 

But he was Cale too, wasn’t he? Who died on his deathbed in acceptance.  

Sometimes, it was hard to remember what was real and what isn’t. 

Yoo Joonghyuk didn’t remember such a memorable young man in his previous regression. It wasn’t just the eye catching scarring that covered his body, but also his reaction to the dokkaebi that had caught his interest. 

Even as the crowd started to panic, the man simply sighed, looking incredibly annoyed by the current situation. 

The beginning of every single regression had been the same. At the end of the day, there was no one else but Yoo Joonghyuk as the survivor. He would move on, and collect Kim Namwoon from the carriage onwards, and then find Lee Jihye. 

Then, the first scenario started. Usually, Yoo Joonghyuk refused to spend more time than necessary, drawing his sword to offer the panicking citizens a way out of this misery. There was no point in daddling as normal citizens struggle to overcome their complicated morals. 

Well, it would usually be the case if not for the unexpected variant. 

The young man stared at the hovering scenario with an unreadable expression, the space between his eyebrows pinched together slightly. 

A head exploded as the dokkaebi cackled, warning the crowd off for refusing to accept their new reality. 

The man didn’t flinch. Yoo Joonghyuk tilted his head back slightly in interest. 

A look of acceptance crossed his face. With graceful movements, he reached out and snapped an old man’s head. 

The crowd’s reaction was instant. Their previous cries and arguments were silent now that there was a common enemy to fight. 

“B-Bastard,” a man shouted, voice shaky as he raised a finger pointedly at the young man. “That was an old man, you heartless bastard.” 

He didn’t seem to hear his words. Rather, his eyes glinted dangerously under the train carriage’s light. 

Yoo Joonghyuk watched in amazement as he killed the rest of the citizens in less than 5 seconds, drenching himself in deep red as a pile of bodies surrounded him. 

They were all swift kills, crushed heads and jugulars that left no time for the people to feel pain. In a way, the man had been merciful and kind. 

He turned his head around, giving Yoo Joonghyuk a knowing look. 

It took a pained laugh that shook him to the bones to realise how young this man really was. Even as he was covered in blood and scars, even as he stared at Joonghyuk with crazed eyes. 

There was no need to explain who he was. Instinctively, Joonghyuk knew he was someone like him, who lived through more than he should. He knew the other understood it too. 

“You can call me hyung,” he offered, and watched as the light in the man’s eyes dimmed slightly. 

“I’m…” the young man paused. “Rok Soo. My name is Kim Rok Soo.” 

If he had to live a life, he’d rather be Cale. 

Cale had everything he ever wanted. 

Kim Rok Soo? 

He was made to survive in a ruined world. 

Chapter Text

When Rok Soo first met the original Cale, all he felt was relief, even as he stared at the face he once used to wear, with familiar scarring and broader features. In a way, Kim Rok Soo’s actual body never really felt like his. It weighed more than he could carry, and no matter how much air he tried to take in, it was never enough.

Cale Henituse’s body, on the other hand, felt right at home.

That’s right, it’s because his name is Cale Henituse.

Sharper features, with lankier limbs and bright red hair, he was once Cale Henituse, and he was prepared to be Cale for the rest of his life.

So, why did life have to throw him back into Kim Rok Soo’s body, into a life that had no end?

The first life had been a pain.

The second life had been his salvation.

His third?

His mother’s words echoed through his mind in times like this, when Rok Soo felt lost amidst the mess his life had become.

Kim Rok Soo had to live on, gripping onto what remaining hope there was that it will all end eventually.

Cale wondered how the kids were doing without him, whether Choi Han had managed to find his own path without him, whether Alberu had thrown him a parting ceremony-

When Yoo Joonghyuk asked for his name, ‘Cale Henituse’ was going to leave his lips. But Rok Soo knew better than to continue as a pretender.

He lived a life as Cale Henituse, but the truth was, he was never Cale. He was Kim Rok Soo, a man with more grief and trauma than what an 18-year-old Cale Henituse should know of.

Cale Henituse would never have blood that was not his on his hands, with the knowledge that he had been the one to play judge and executioner. Kim Rok Soo would because the world was that cruel.

He hesitantly reached a hand up to wipe off the blood on his face, gritting his teeth when it stained his white shirt red. His wounds screamed every time he moved, a startling reminder of his current reality.

Yoo Joonghyuk would understand because he lived the same way.

“Hyung,” Rok Soo called out, testing the word shakily. Once upon a time, he had called someone else that too.

Whatever Yoo Joonghyuk saw seemed to scare him a little as he placed his hand on Rok Soo’s head, doing an awkward rendition of a hair ruffle in an attempt to comfort him.

“Apologies for interrupting this moment, fellow constellations!”

Whatever hint of emotion that was pulled out of Kim Rok Soo earlier fell away as he stared up at the dokkaebi with a blank face.

A set of notifications flashed passed his eyes.

It was creepy how the more he killed, the more coins he received.

Rok Soo frowned at this realisation, turning to eye Yoo Joonghyuk who gave no reaction.

[ YOU HAVE UNLOCKED THE ACHIEVEMENT DECIMATOR DUE TO EXCESSIVE SLAUGHTERING ]

The way this world functions was clear. If so, how would Yoo Joonghyuk survive now that he had taken away most of his original kills?

“I supposed I have to congratulate you guys for surviving,” the dokkaebi said with a taunting smile.

Cute things were always scarier than they should be.

A screen appeared in front of Rok Soo’s eyes, featuring numerous titles as it urged him to pick a constellation as the dokkaebi continued its explanation.

He eyed the selection, eyes filtering past titles quickly as he wondered if he should pick one. Well, his hesitation faded away when his eyes landed on a name at the very end of the list.

[ GRIM REAPER FROM ANOTHER WORLD ]

It was a very telling name, but it left him conflicted.

Cale would pick it, albeit with a little grumble at having to face the bastard. But Rok Soo wouldn’t have, because he was a man with little ties to the world, a floating balloon drifting alone while the wind raged.

The God of Death would have to wait another day. Rok Soo’s hand fell back to his side limply as the timer went off, ending him with no supporting constellations.

It was a choice born from a selfish desire. Cale Henituse in both name and identity had been a runaway dream, a fictional world to disappear in and forget. It had been easy because he didn’t want to remember.

He didn’t want to remember.

It simply made the longing harder. It was an addiction, and Rok Soo’s world was collapsing as the dream faded bit by bit.

Rok Soo did regret his choice a little bit as hostility from the unchosen constellations filled his peripherals. He quenched his longingness, letting his world go numb again like it always had been in this life.

The reward session ended, and the nightmare had to go on.

Yoo Joonghyuk moved almost immediately as the first scenario ended, kicking down the carriage door.

“Go ahead,” he urged Rok Soo when the door fell to reveal more bodies with missing heads.

The stench of death was strong as he moved passed the bodies. Rok Soo could tell that Yoo Joonghyuk seemed disappointed by the lack of survivors and the broken exit to the outside world.

Right, Kim Namwoon and another survivor were supposed to be here. Instead, the supposed ally to Yoo Joonghyuk lay on the floor, his uniform stained by blood as a knife lay next to him.

It was a brutal death.

Rok Soo followed after Yoo Jonghyuk as they made their way out of the train. He blinked, squinting his eyes as the sunlight shone, much too bright in an apocalypse.

His breath hitched as the world finally came into view in full clarity.

It reminded him a little too much of his first life, and Rok Soo couldn’t help but fear.

The scars on his body throbbed, a constant reminder of his reality.

The second scenario started, and as Kim Rok Soo ran while the growls of the undead filled the station, his body fell back into his very first instinct.

Rok Soo reached out, and the world blurred.

Moments later, when he came back to himself, Rok Soo was standing at the entrance of the bridge, eyeing the black-haired man that Yoo Joonghyuk was dangling over the open sea.

His name was Kim Dokja.

Kim Rok So recognised him, perhaps not in name, but the resonance was unmistakable.

In a way, while he and Yoo Joonghyuk understood each other instinctively, he and Kim Dokja fell from the same tree, a long-lost brother in soul.

Dokja was like Cale Henituse.

Like the Cale Henituse who woke up in a dream that felt too real.

Chapter Text

“Rok Soo, you can’t keep doing this to yourself.” 

Choi Jung Soo pleaded with him on multiple occasions as he dragged his battered body back to their base. That day had been particularly harsh, and Jung Soo’s words lacked the positivity it usually had. 

“I don’t want to drag your dead body back to camp. One day, if I’m not here, what are you going to do?” 

Kim Rok Soo tightened his grip on Jung Soo’s arm, his body shaking. 

Whether in fear, anger or anything, he couldn’t tell. The stir of emotions in his heart was hard to tell at this point. 

He kept his eyes on the Grade 1 monsters approaching them as his weight troubled Jung Soo’s movement speed, slowing them down. They were nearing, yet, Jung Soo kept his pace, never once letting him go. 

Everyone close to him was doomed to die. 

Miracally, they survived that round. But Kim Rok Soo knew better than to hope. 

The next round, Kim Rok Soo was the only survivor of his team. 

Even at death, Choi Jung Soo never lost his smile. 

“I will leave it to you.” 

Kim Rok Soo hated the last words that left Jung Soo’s mouth. 

Even as the reinforcement came, they couldn’t bring back the lives of his teammate. 

Rok Soo glanced at their bodies, eyes closing in despair when he spotted Lee Soo Hyuk. 

Kim Rok Soo was a man who lived on after tragedies one at a time. 

Even so, at that point of time, he wished he had died among his teammates as well, for death would have been better than being the last one standing. 

And, there was Lee Soo Hyuk’s parting gift as well. 

I trust you, Kim Rok Soo. 

In a way, Kim Dokja was like Cale Henituse. 

He paraded around with more knowledge than he should have, and played with the storyline to guarantee his own survival. 

However, at a closer look, there was where the similarities ended. 

Kim Dokja was more like Kim Rok Soo. 

In that sense, he knew Dokja would survive in the sea when his conversation with Yoo Joonghyuk did not guarantee the man from placing him back on land, given the type of person Yoo Joonghyuk was. 

As Kim Dokja fell into the mouth of the sea serpent, Kim Rok Soo spotted his eyes widening in realisation when he glanced at him, eyes trailing over the scars that decorated his body. 

The words that Dokja had mouthed just before the jaws of the sea serpent snapped shut shook him to the core. 

Kim Rok Soo froze in horror. 

Somehow, the other had known. 

Rok Soo- He- 

Yoo Joonghyuk watched the open sea for a few seconds before he turned towards the bridge with an expectant glance at Rok Soo. 

The bridge needed two people to allow them a safe passage through. 

“Are you worried that that man wouldn’t survive?” Yoo Joonghyuk asked when Rok Soo continued to stay frozen, staring at the sea serpent with guarded eyes. 

“No,” he answered after a while, dragging his eyes back to face Yoo Joonghyuk. “Kim Dokja will do alright.” 

He had to, because Kim Dokja reminded him too much of Cale Henituse and himself, and despite two identities being so different, at the end of the day, they were the ones who survived on the playing field. 

It’s not true, Cale died, remember?

Beside, Kim Dokja had something that he needed to know. 

[ CONSTELLATION ‘GRIM REAPER FROM ANOTHER WORLD’ SPONSORED 1000 COINS ] 

[ CONSTELLATION ‘GRIM REAPER FROM ANOTHER WORLD LOOKS AT INCARNATION ‘KIM ROK SOO’ ]

Rok Soo ignored the notifications, keeping his eyes straight ahead as the duo entered a tunnel. At this point, exhaustion was finally catching up as his open wounds screamed for rest. 

He waited for the end of the second scenario before he collapsed onto the ground, placing a gentle hand on his upper arm. 

With an extra limb on it, it was obvious that the blood dripping down his arm wasn’t someone else’s but his own gushing blood. 

Instant had taken its toll on his body. Kim Rok Soo huffed, and prepared to tear off his clothes to wrap the wounds when a hand came into his view. 

“You have bandages.” 

Rok Soo blinked at the roll of white bandages in Yoo Joonghyuk’s hand. How well prepared was this man? He had a sword, and now, he was swinging around with bandages. 

“You can’t afford an open wound for the next scenario,” the elder simply replied, kneeling down on a knee to help Rok Soo with his wounds when he failed to move. “There will be poison and monsters.”

Kim Rok Soo wondered what Yoo Joonghyuk saw in him. It reminded him of Lee Soo Hyuk many years ago, and his timely appearance just before he was ready to keel over from exhaustion and hopelessness. 

One part of Rok Soo couldn’t help but feel wary at Yoo Joonghyuk’s unexpected kindness in this ruined world. If there was one thing that he had learnt from his own experience, the kind ones died the quickest. Besides, Yoo Joonghyuk from Three Ways to Survive a Ruined World was someone who was logical and cold. While he cared, he only kept the people of use alive and well. 

If Kim Rok Soo was useful, Jung Soo wouldn’t have died. 

“Why…” Rok Soo started, wincing when the bandage tightened around the wound on his bicep. “Why are you helping me?”

When Joonghyuk met his eyes, they were golden. 

“Kim Rok Soo, 22, 3rd life transmigrator.” He continued to stare for a few more seconds before his eyes shifted back to the task on hand, the golden glow fading back to black. “Is that not who you are?”

I understand what it’s like to lose everything. 

“Yeah,” Rok Soo said, the side of his lips quirking up slightly at that. “That’s who I am.”

The poison mist was easy to go through with a rebreather that Yoo Joonghyuk still refused to elaborate on. 

Rok Soo followed after him silently and unflinching as they sneaked past gigantic insects and monsters along the way. Years as Kim Rok Soo in his original world activated his muscle memory as he memorised the monsters and routes alike, his ability proving to be useful in this instance. 

Along the way, the God of Death continued to bother him with donations. Rok Soo was content to allow the continued annoyance for the influx of coins it was giving him, but it was starting to cause a headache. 

He wanted nothing to do with Cale Henituse’s identity, and that included the people involved. 

The annoyance was pushed out to the deepest corner of his mind the moment the duo finally reached an underground station. 

Chungmuro Station. 

Kim Dokja remembered the name at the last second just before he was swallowed by the sea serpent. Looking at the face of a young man scarred beyond what a normal person of his age should have, with reddish-brown eyes that shouldn’t be a norm within Koreans… 

His ability simply confirmed it. 

He was Kim Rok Soo. 

Kim Dokja knew him because he was supposed to be 36 and 18 at the same time, with dark red hair and a noble name. 

“Cale Henituse.” 

He realised his mistake when the look Rok Soo gave him was absolutely gutted. 

Kim Dokja was the only one in this world who knew the entirety of what happened to Kim Rok Soo. 

From the words of comfort he whispered to himself as his uncle’s voice echoed in the dark. 

To the haunting last words Choi Jung Soo had given him. 

He knew everything. 

Chapter Text

Chungmuro Station was way more crowded than Rok Soo had expected. He stuck by Yoo Joonghyuk’s side, eyeing the crowd. Their appearance had drawn the attention of many survivors, dark eyes following their every step as the duo made their way deeper into the station. 

“Rok Soo,” Joonghyuk started. He shifted his eyes to meet the elder’s. “Stay here for a while, I need to find someone.” 

Rok Soo didn’t have time to utter his agreement before Joonghyuk bolted off, presumably to find Lee Jihye. He stared at the retreating figure before he sighed and plopped himself onto the ground. 

There was an eye on him. 

Despite Rok Soo’s eye-catching appearance, no one had met his eyes, radiating badly hidden fear that he believed stemmed from his unruly appearance. 

He had lived his whole life hating the scars on his body. It felt odd to be appreciative of them for once when he was left alone without interruption. 

“Excuse me, sir?” came a voice from behind him. Rok Soo cursed his luck as he spun around to find a woman with one of the fakest smiles he had ever seen. She seemed nervous (or was it excitement?), fiddling with her fingers as she stared at Rok Soo. 

He kept his face blank and replied coldly. 

“What is it?”

There was no need to be nice with such a fake person. Once upon a time, Rok Soo had been someone who cared too much. Survival was simply an excuse at that point, there was no need to play hero to live life. 

Cale Henituse thought himself as trash, nothing but an extra doing his best to ensure his future slacker life. 

He was wrong though. Cale had been a hero. 

He had been loved. 

Someone… someone had cried at his deathbed? 

There was no way for heroics in a world as ruined as this, however. 

“What is your name, s-sir?”

It was easier to answer, compared to when Yoo Joonghyuk asked. Perhaps, because it was easier to pull an image in front of someone who was nothing like him. Yoo Joonghyuk was someone who understood, and Rok Soo only felt compelled to tell the truth. 

“Kim Rok Soo.”

The woman was startled by his reply, her eyes sparkling slightly. 

Rok Soo, an image. If so, who was the real one? 

She sat down next to him, uncaring about the lack of space between them. She leaned closer, and Rok Soo couldn’t help but flinch, his eyes widening at the sudden action. 

“What are you doing?” Rok Soo’s voice was ice cold, hiding a fury behind a calm facade. The woman didn’t seem to hear him, however, as she stayed where she was. 

“Are you a reader, Rok Soo-ssi?” 

His eyes narrowed. 

“A reader?”

“Yeah, like someone who reads novels,” she replied nonchalantly. “Do you know who Yoo Joonghyuk is? Or Ch-” 

She paused at the end of her sentence, her excited smile falling off to be replaced by a frown. 

“Do you?” Rok Soo shot back, pushing himself up from the ground. 

His tolerance with the woman had reached the end. Surely, she should be put off by the scars on his body. 

The woman continued to stare at him for a few more seconds as he prepared to leave. 

“Well, Rok Soo-ssi.”

Rok Soo froze. Her tone of voice was much different than before. She sounded colder, much more knowing. 

“I’ve heard rumours of a possible gathering for all readers alike. What do you think? Three Ways to Survive a Ruined World sure is an interesting story to land in.” 

She was an absolute nuisance. 

Rok Soo held back the annoyance bubbling up and struggled to keep the ire off his face. 

“Excuse me,” he voiced out, spotting Yoo Joonghyuk’s timely appearance at his peripheral. Slowly, he let out a sharp smile, letting his eyes curve all the way to mirror hers. “Fiction isn’t something I’d like to talk about when the world is dying. If you have nothing else, I have somewhere to be.” 

He brushed past her without a second glance, taking confident steps towards Yoo Joonghyuk. Rok Soo ignored the prickle on his skin with the numerous eyes on them, choosing to focus on Joonghyuk’s new companion instead. 

Lee Jihye. 

He averted his eyes to meet Joonghyuk’s instead, when Jihye’s sharp ones bored into his soul. 

“You found them?” he asked instead. 

“Jihye, Rok Soo,” Joonghyuk’s brief introduction was done in barely a second. It barely quenched the interest Jihye had at Rok Soo, who had previously been given judgemental glares instead. 

Well, knowing Yoo Joonghyuk, he’d rather let the two work it out by themselves. 

“Nice to meet you.” 

Kim Rok Soo didn’t offer a handshake nor a smile. 

It was difficult to forget about his curse in times like this. 

Unlike Yoo Joonghyuk, Lee Jihye was much more vulnerable. And everyone around Rok Soo was meant to die. 

Lee Jihye’s death wouldn’t do anyone any good. 

Jihye came to her own conclusion, her eyes narrowing at Rok Soo’s introduction. 

“Lee Jihye,” she answered just as coldly. 

If Rok Soo was any younger than his current age, it would have hurt. 

Thirty-six. Twenty-seven. Twenty-two. 

Rok Soo was eight five years old. 

If anything, he’d rather this hurt than the pain that would come with losing. 

They weren’t tears. 

He promised he wouldn’t cry. 

It was raining that day. The sky cried tears as Choi Jung Soo and Lee Soo Hyuk’s bodies were slowly covered by wet soil. It was the most they could be given when monsters prowled the land. 

Kim Rok Soo hated this feeling, this inferiority as the world kept spinning. 

He was nothing but an ant (no, he was smaller). He didn’t matter to the world at the end of the day. None of them did, not him, not Jung Soo, not Soo Hyuk. 

What was he, then? 

“Jung Soo,” Rok Soo found himself calling out to the howling wind. “What am I supposed to do now?” 

He wasn’t crying. He wasn’t. It was the rain. 

And maybe it was this feeling that kept Cale Henituse going, grabbing onto the thin strands of the lives of the people around him desperately. 

It was what made him desperate enough to become a hero, when all he wanted to do was curl up and bask in sunlight. 

Rok Soo hated everything Cale Henituse represented. 

Cale could still smile, when all Rok Soo could do was lie to himself at his friends’ graves. 

They weren’t tears. They weren’t. 

So why did it hurt so bad? 

“Choi Jung Soo,” Rok Soo whispered in horror when he spotted a familiar figure stumbling into the station, wearing torn clothes with blood stains on them. 

He held a hand to his waist, face a little too pale to be normal as he curled himself up on a seat, hands struggling to work out his injuries. 

Despite his state, Kim Rok Soo could recognise this figure anywhere. 

“Jung Soo,” he whispered once more, curling into himself behind the pillar. 

He turned away from Jung Soo, a hand moving up to cover his eyes. 

He was alive. 

What did it mean? 

Rok Soo wished it was raining this time. 

Chapter Text

Rok Soo eyed the dark railway, bringing his torch up to get a better look at the interior. It was odd to see the true eeriness displayed right before his eyes, whereas they were simply words a long time ago. It reminded him of how real all of this was. 

With Yoo Joonghyuk gone, eyes had turned to him with the expectation of a leader through his association with Joonghyuk. Despite this, there was simply this unnatural and cold barrier between the rest and Rok Soo, a rapport that couldn’t be built. It was clear he didn’t belong.

Instead, he left the station under Jihye’s lead and set out in search of more food supplies. 

Every step of his echoed even with his efforts to minimise the sound of gravel crunching under his feet. It was simply impossible with how eerily silent the tunnel was. He kept his breath steady and stuck to the side of the wall, letting the soft glow guide his way.

[ MAIN SCENARIO #3 ] 

Rok Soo rubbed his eye, letting out a huff as he pushed the notification aside. The air above him seemed to hum, all the more of a reminder that he was stuck in a fictional world. Now, alone, with a much steadier head, Rok Soo could finally think. 

Three Ways to Survive a Ruined World was a throwaway fiction he had picked up in his teens, long chapters and consistent weekly updates, dragged longer than it should. It left most of Rok Soo’s memories blurry, especially when he had read most of it before he got his abilities. 

He was now in the novel, clearly with a twist. There was no other way to explain it. 

His gaze hovered on the pending requests from the God of Death. With more questions than answers, it was tempting to accept it. He stared at it for a moment, hesitant, before he closed his eyes and let out a sigh. 

[ THE CONSTELLATION GRIM REAPER FROM ANOTHER WORLD IS WATCHING YOU ] 

“Not now,” he said in the end, brushing the requests off once more. He ignored the god’s disappointed messages, keeping his feet steady as he approached Dongguk University. 

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[ YOU HAVE BEEN GIFTED 100 COINS ] 

Rok Soo paused, staring at the name with raised brows. He eased his expression just as quickly, quickening his steps with a creeping suspicion. 

[ THE CONSTELLATION SECRETIVE PLOTTER ASKS FOR HELP ]

[ THE CONSTELLATION SECRETIVE PLOTTER PROMISES A FAVOUR ] 

Voices started to fill the tunnel, faint murmurs that grew into panicked shouts and curses as Rok Soo neared. 

He drew his sword, picking up pace. 

[ SUB-SCENARIO: ILLUSORY PRISON ] 

“Shit!” Rok Soo couldn’t help but curse, skidding to a stop before a very familiar face and his group of ragtag survivors. It didn’t take a genius to figure out what the name of the scenario meant for the people, and Rok Soo wasn’t spared from it either. 

Choi Jung Soo flashed before his eyes. Cold, lifeless, just like the rest of his teammates on a rainy day. The rain sunk into his clothes, into his skin, the scars on his body— the wounds ached with every move, the effects of Instant still fresh. 

“This isn’t— this is nothing,” He choked out a strangled laugh. 

The image glitched, stuttered, confused. It faded out, replaced by his parents, his old teammates— it cycled through. Rok Soo blinked, shaking the images off with difficulty. It’s not real, he knew that much, yet he couldn’t see beyond. 

He activated Instant and felt the immediate strain on his body. In a split second, a mysterious power source dispelled the images, Rok Soo reached out, just in time to block the sword headed Kim Dokja’s way. 

He breathed as the world stopped for a second. 

Then, Dokja knocked the woman out swiftly, and the sword in her hands clattered to the ground, jolting Rok Soo out of his stupor. 

He dropped his arms to the side, unsheathing his sword as Dokja checked on his other friends quickly, before turning his gaze back to Rok Soo. 

“It’s not over yet,” was all he said, before his attention was turned to the ghost-like monsters that started to edge towards them, their purplish slowly fading into view. 

“It shouldn’t be too hard, their abilities are mostly psychic.” 

Rok Soo reached for his sword anyway, resting his hand on the handle as he watched Dokja decimate the spectres with ease. 

Main character vibe is the only thing Rok Soo could conjure up as Dokja walked out of the fight unharmed with a sort-of detached relief. There was an unexplainable gap between them, especially when Dokja’s eyes fell on Rok Soo. 

Detached, unreal. 

Kim Dokja wasn’t a character in Three Ways to Survive a Ruined World, but he was important in some way, for Joonghyuk had remembered him, had encountered him in such a way that was impossible to forget. He was important, yet he wasn’t a character. 

It wasn’t hard to figure it out. 

“It’s been a while,” Rok Soo greeted. 

“Indeed,” the other replied, tensed. 

Rok Soo took his time to study the others, as they slowly woke up. The blonde woman seemed a little unease when their eyes met, while the rest stared at him with guarded friendliness. He switched his gaze back to Dokja, clearing his throat. 

“Are you headed to Chungmuro?” 

Dokja’s gaze was heavy, seemingly searching for something before he relaxed. “Yes, you don’t happen to be heading the same way, do you?” 

Rok Soo opted not to answer instead. “I can bring you there,” he said stoically. “But Yoo Joonghyuk isn’t there right now.” 

“I never said I was looking for him.” 

Rok Soo kept his expression steady as he eyed them, before turning around back towards the direction of Chungmuro station. “Follow me then.” 

Dokja kept his pace next to Rok Soo, while the rest trailed after them like ducklings. There was a weird tension hanging between them, and even as they entered Chungmuro’s crowded spaces, it didn't dissipate. 

“Jihye,” he greeted, upon spotting the girl standing by the entrance. He reached for the food he had hunted, dropping it onto the ground for her. 

It was less than what he usually came back with. He gestured back at Dokja’s group with a slight grimace. “Had to take a little detour, you see.” 

Jihye huffed, picking up the sack. “Yeah, whatever,” she waved her hand. She glanced at Dokja, then back at Rok Soo. 

“I’m on my own, I know. I will deal with them.” 

Jihye gave him one more glance, before she shrugged the sack onto her shoulder and heaved it away to be distributed. Rok Soo pressed his lips together, pressing down the urge to sigh. 

“First things first,” he said, turning around to meet the group. “Do everything I say, don’t wander around. Chungmuro station is a shithole right now and…” 

Dokja met his eyes. 

“I need to talk to you.” 

Dokja’s lips quirked up. 

“Oh, what a coincidence,” he couldn’t help but quip. “I need to talk to you too.” 

Rok Soo led the group to an open Green Zone, giving Gong Pildu’s lackeys a quick glare before dropping the group off with a promise to not leave unless Rok Soo was with them. Then he headed off with Dokja trailing after him, shutting themselves off in a hidden corner. 

“We are in Three Ways to Survive a Ruined World,” he blurted out in an instance. 

“You’ve read the novel too?” Dokja’s eyes widened. He leaned backwards, back against the wall as he marvelled at this fact. 

Rok Soo’s eyes narrowed. “And you know me.” 

Dokja shrugged, “It’s hard not to when you’re with Yoo Joonghyuk and I’m his companion.” 

Rok Soo’s lips pressed together. “What’s the name of the novel?” 

Dokja stayed silent. For a moment, Rok Soo thought he’d have to pry the answer out with ways he wasn’t exactly keen on doing, but the other relented, letting out a sigh. 

“Trash of the Count’s Family. It was a hit novel a few years ago.” 

Rok Soo knew this since the beginning, when everything started to make less sense. However, it was different hearing it out loud. His head dropped, Rok Soo stared at his boots, mind spinning. 

So was everything a lie then? 

He must have said something out loud, because Dokja flinched back, face morphing into one of guilt. 

He blinked, taking in a shaky breath. 

“It’s real to you.” 

“But not to you. I’ve seen the way you look at others.” It was hard to keep the bitterness out of his tone as he spoke. He looked away from Dokja, hands unnaturally still. “I get it, really. They—we…” 

“No,” Dokja interrupted. “You’re real, they’re real. Maybe, in the beginning, it was hard to think of you as anyone but Cale Henituse from the story, but you’re very different.” 

Rok Soo stayed silent, his mind racing. He kept his arms at his side to stop the mindless fidgeting.

“Different, huh?” He murmured, glancing back at Dokja. “I don’t know what you’ve been planning, Kim Dokja, but I’d be a fool not to work with you.” 

A smile graced his lips. “Good,” he laughed. “I think you know what happens here then.” 

“You’re really cruel in an odd way,” Rok Soo mused. “Gong Pildu isn’t completely subdued here yet, Yoo Joonghyuk has been busy with something else.” 

Something seemed to settle as Dokja’s eyes hardened. “I need to talk to Yoo Joonghyuk, I have a message for him.” 

[ THE CONSTELLATION GRIM REAPER FROM ANOTHER WORLD, URGES YOU TO ACCEPT THE OFFER ]

[ THE CONSTELLATION GRIM REAPER FROM ANOTHER WORLD GIVES YOU 100 COINS ]

“I can do that,” Rok Soo replied. “I need you to help with something in return.”  

Chapter Text

Feet pounded against land, creating muffled ‘thuds’, silent by the pitter-patter of rain. Mud splattered onto the boots and hem of his trousers either way, and he shivered from the cold. 

“I can give you this much. Anymore and the world will collapse from instability.” 

Record screeched, it laughed. The memories, the emotions, everything came tumbling down together. 

The scars too, records of their own, forever imprinted onto his skin. From the marks on his skin, to the memories swirling in his head, forever there and always present— he sometimes wondered how he was still sane. 

Two months, two months before the inevitable apocalypse. He had thought his previous life was over. Cale Henituse had died a peaceful death, albeit young and undeserved. No one should be looking for him. There was no promise, no shady deals, no gods and beings beyond his comprehension. 

This was Rok Soo’s life, not Cale’s. 

“You named me,” he told her. His mother’s grave stared back, a sad little thing for the bare minimum he could afford to get her. “Rok Soo.” 

Not Cale, with more than a rundown bunker to look forward to, more than just books and stale food he had managed to dig up. 

“I hate you.” Barely there, barely with him, barely remembered had Rok Soo not have gotten Record early in this life. 

He only knew loss, it was his curse. 

Yoo Joonghyuk was there. 

Transmigrator, regressor— they were just names for people who've lost more than they should, over and over again. But Yoo Joonghyuk did look a little lost, running for a dangling golden key to a heavily-chained lock, and Rok Soo was tired. Running in circles, hitting walls; they did say insanity was doing the same thing over and over again, all while expecting a different result. 

“Your companion is here.” 

Joonghyuk’s head snapped towards him. His cloak swished behind him as he turned. He was intimidating: strong figure, dark eyes, rigid and unwavering. He could see why the majority had feared him, clambering towards him as if he was God. Rok Soo stood his ground, ignoring the urge to back-up. While his heart pounded, he had always ran with logic rather than emotions. Joonghyuk preferred strong people, if Rok Soo showed anything less, he would have been left dead. 

Rok Soo believed he had passed something, as Joonghyuk’s gaze on him lightened slightly. He clicked his tongue, looking rather annoyed. 

“I didn’t think he would make it.” 

“I did bet that he would.” 

Rok Soo wasn’t surprised when Joonghyuk ignored him. He was surprised, however, when the other moved past him, footsteps light and quick, eyes hardened and tense. 

“Hyung-” 

He hid an annoyed sigh, the side of his lips curling downwards as he followed after. The elder tended to act like that— cold, tense, much more irritable— when he was stuck in a memory and remembering. 

They reached the station, and Rok Soo caught sight of the moment Joonghyuk’s eyes met Dokja’s, surprise flickering for a second before they turned cold again, unreadable as his eyes shifted towards a middle-aged man. Standing a few feet away from Dokja and a boy, was Gong Pildu, turrets ready and mad. 

Rok Soo felt a flash of annoyance. He was sure he had told the group to stay in their Green Zone. It was more trouble than he wanted if Dokja messed with Gong Pildu without him, their quick compromise with the Landlord Alliance had already been shaky enough. 

“Gong Pildu, what are you doing?” Rok Soo’s gruff voice cut through the thick silence as both parties broke away from their confrontation to stare at him: Dokja with relief, and Pildu with growing anger. 

Rok Soo would like to curse his soft spot for kids and the hero complex he had brought over from his life as Cale. He brushed past Joonghyuk and took a step into the Green Zone, pausing when the turrets turned towards him instead. 

“I’ve had enough of tolerating whatever this is,” he seethed. “The tax rate is too low!” 

Yoo Joonghyuk, do something! Rok Soo pleaded, though he kept his face straight as he stared down at Pildu. 

[ THE CONSTELLATION GRIM REAPER FROM ANOTHER WORLD CHEERS YOU ON ]

[ THE CONSTELLATION BALD GENERAL OF JUSTICE CHEERS YOU ON ]

[ 100 COINS HAVE BEEN SPONSORED ] 

Rok Soo’s eyes narrowed. For a moment, Pildu faltered, face paled at his expression. Then fire seemed to light back up. 

“Let this kid go,” he said slowly, emphasising his words one by one. “Charge Dokja-ssi here and let this slide. I won’t touch the Landlord Alliance from here on.” 

As he expected, there was an instant glint in his eyes after his promise. Gong Pildu huffed and straightened himself— well as best he could either way with his hunchback and nodded with the ego only a middle-aged landlord like him could have. 

“Well,” he eyed Dokja and Gilyoung. “Sort yourself out then.” 

He left. 

Rok Soo placed his hand on top of Gilyoung’s head, turning to give Dokja a glare. 

“Well,” he said, eyeing both the stoic Joonghyuk and the sly Dokja. “I’m going to bring him back first. Have a nice reunion.” 

Dokja slid a paper into his jacket on the way, catching only Joonghyuk’s attention with his sharp eyes. Rok Soo felt his heavy gaze on the back of his head as he guided Gilyoung away from the duo. 

At a good distance away, Rok Soo knelt down to Gilyoung’s level and gave the kid a small smile as best as he could. “Kid, go back to the rest and don’t leave the Green Zone, alright?” 

He made sure Gilyoung made it back safely with the rest of his group before finding an isolated corner of the station to read Dokja’s message. A stone dropped out of it as he unfolded it. 

30 minutes before the third scenario. We deal with G. Pildu today. 

“Hah, he really is ambitious.” Rok Soo picked up the stone and studied it, recognising it as the Spectre’s Stone. 

He shoved the message into his pockets and plopped onto the ground in an undignified manner, letting out a loud sigh. His fingers curled around the stone, fiddling with it as he thought. 

“Jung Soo.” 

With the third scenario coming, the least Rok Soo could do was make sure the man he owed his life to will be safe in this life, even if they were stuck in a dystopian world like this. He had been avoiding the other like a plague, it was a bit stalkerish, considering Jung Soo had never met Rok Soo here. 

“Why did I even end up here?” he whispered, fingers tightening over the stone. 

[ THE CONSTELLATION GRIM REAPER FROM ANOTHER WORLD LOOKS AT YOU ] 

[ 1000 COINS HAVE BEEN SPONSORED ] 

“Was it part of the deal? A curse?” 

The bastard God of Death stayed silent. Rok Soo couldn’t help the anger that overtook him. The depth of his emotions had surprised even himself. For too long, he rested in the midst of numbness and apathy. And then as Cale, it was easy to forget because he had people who stayed. 

Here, he was reminded of loss. 

Rok Soo let out one last shaky sigh before he stood up. It was time to confront his past. 

He goes to find his friend. 

NAME: KIM ROK SOO

AGE: [REDACTED]

CONSTELLATION SPONSOR: NONE

PRIVATE ATTRIBUTES: REGRESSOR, TRANSMIGRATOR, [REDACTED]

EXCLUSIVE SKILLS: INSTANT (LVL ???), RECORD (LVL ???), HAND-TO-HAND COMBAT (LVL 6), BASIC SWORD COMBAT (LVL 7), [REDACTED]…

STIGMA: [REDACTED] [UNKNOWN]

OVERALL STATS: STAMINA (LVL 20), STRENGTH (LVL 20), AGILITY (LVL 20), MAGIC POWER (LVL 15)

[ THE FOURTH WALL SHAKES]