Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

“You.. you can’t see me?” John Cena stuttered, looking into Jonathan Joestar's eyes with a fearful expression. Then DIO was there as well.
“It is I, DIO!” DIO said.
DIO was there.
John Cena deactivated invisibility and sprinted towards DIO, going for his classic wrestling ability, the Attitude Adjustment. DIO fell to the ground “nani the fuck!” DIO yelled, “is this the work of an enemy stand?”
DOO DODO DOODOO DOOOOOOO dadada. (this is john cena theme number 6 btw)
John Cena’s theme played.
John Cena then declared that it was indeed the work of his stand, he proceeded to explain to DIO about his incredible stand. He said “Well, DIO. THis is my stand
『YOU CANT C ME』
It allows me to turn invisible and my presence goes completely undetected the only downside is that trumpets play constantly whilst it is in effect.
“Omg nice” DIO monotoned, in response to John Cena’s ability to use those half square brackets. Jonathan Joestar was massive. Jonathan Joestar returned to the fore front of the story. It was finally his time in the spotlight, DIO and John Cena had stolen the spotlight from him. He was ready. He went to speak-
John JoCena Chuckled ominously ド ド ド menacingly ド ド ド (this is jojo remember). “Hehheheheh , we are both called John” he laugh. He home, he laugh. A small tear flowed down his cheek.

Cena opened his mouth. Tiny cheerios started to flow out, filling the room swiftly. Mere seconds later, the cheerios were up to their knees.
“Oh shit, oh no. She cleaned that right up,” DIO lamented.
“What the fuck,” JoJo screamed
The cheerios were too fast to escape from.
There, in that small office, in the light of the 6 AM sun, the three perished.
But Only DIO really died because hes a vampire and vampires melt in the sun, so after the disappearance of DIO’s mass there was enough room left for Jojo and Cena.

Chapter Text

-1 whole year ago -

“Go faster! Take the strain! Remember JoJo, this is a dangerous game!” “Fuck off Iggy you massive fucking Furry.” Jojo squealed at him. Of course Jojo didn't meant this literally because Iggy is a pretty small dog. Iggy vibrated in an attempt to escape like a fluctuating bowl of agar agar “I told you, my fursona is called Danny! You’re being rude,” Iggy hollered as he ran for the hills, the fuck away from the steaming JoJo. JoJo was nipp(l)ing at his heels., steaming away. Nipp(l)ing. Steaming. Growing closer. Steaming nips were a common occurrence in the games of Danny and JoJo. But today, everything would change. “It is I, DIO!” “DIO.. B-but, i thought you died in the cereal incident involving John Cena and his massive wobbling cheerios, 1 year in the future :0” “oh shi-” “sorry DIO forget i told you about the future, don’t want to create a paradox,” JoJo swiftly covered his tracks, but DIO was already distracted with other matters. “What a massive furry! I have a  desire to meet this one!” DIO said through gritted teeth, pointing at Iggazelle. He is burning. THEN ALL OF A FUCKING SUDDEN A BLUE HAIRED BEAUTY ENTERED THE ROOM. “Moshi moshi this is junk shop Heibon” the blue beauty said in a uke voice, laden with homoerotic undertones. “YA HO” Said DIO because he’s actually TRIP! “Fucking shit, when did TRIP Get SO BIG!” Aobo wrote in his secret book of steamy thoughts. {insert picture of jojo aoba for our audience(omg thanks, could be mulletier maybe)(nice) there were no actual mullets it was bullshit damn) ( i added sly blue, the orange background one is sly the yellow is aob)( nicee) John Cena was big, but not as big as DIO, not by a long shot. “I’ll get onto it,” Cena muttered to himself, thinking about going to the official WWE gym. “Thanks,” Cena also said. He also had a craving for cheerios. But that could wait. For now.The blue haired beauty introduced himself “Hello i am Aoba, and this is my cool robot dog called REN” he humbly said. Ren was going to end up having robot dog sex with the great flaming iggadanny. But they didn’t know yet. They wouldn’t know until the heat of the moment, right there, in that incinerator. “Hello Aoba, it is I, DIO!” TRIP cackled in a fit of clandestine melancholy. Which is to say, DIO wasn’t feeling 100%, but no one knew. He was cackling. Sly Blue erupted from the blue man’s foaming mouth, raising the cackles in the room to a ridic level. There were now 2 of the blue man, they looked almost identical, except one had a smirk and declared himself sly. And sly he was. “Slyyyyyy!” Sly McSlyman declared, declaring himself sly. He was sly, although still covered in Aoba’s mouth foam. He had a significantly more kinky cackle than the regular blue man. “ZA WARUDO” TRIPIO CRIED. Dipper cried. Time had stopped ,everything went sepia , TRIPIO then proceeded to pull a fuck ton of knives from out of his pants and threw them around the place. “ROKU BYO KEIKA” or something he screamed (it means that time has been stopped for 6 seconds”) Then TRIPIO made time start again. Dipper kept crying. Dipper wasn’t introduced, but he had been there from the start by the way. Always crying. The knives struck McSlyson in the back. All of them. Aoba bent down to his level, examining the frothy steel spikes. “Oh man, oh no, fuck,” Aoba panicked, smacking McSlyson’s ass frantically. Aoba then said “he has more holes in him that Noiz’s dick :( “, looking at TRIPIO for pity, but none was given. John Cena then asked if it was his time to do something yet, everyone shook their heads, he would have to keep waiting. Jonathan Joestar was another matter entirely. He had run off to the hills to continue frolicking with his still alive dog. “DANNY”, he said happily “woof” said danny happy to not be on fire. TRIPIO sensed this joy, sniffing the air for a solid 2 minutes. He couldn’t get enough. This level of happiness displeased him. There was nothing TRIPO hated more than a happy Joestar. “Right mate sorry, DIO has to go sort out some shit.” TRIPIO kicked Aoba in the face and ran off towards the hills, gasoline in one hand. His wildly flailing, muscular hand. wait what was that? it was quiet. but it was definitely there. What was it? the sound came closer.

Chapter Text

Aoba now knew what it was it was an ominous menacing ドドドドドドドド signal that something involving a protagonist was happening. Sensing the danger that Jonathan was in he rushed toward this hills hoping to be of some help. Suddenly John Cena faded back into significance, his trumpets going absolutely going fucking wild. The dynamic duo pushed on towards the source of the distress signal, but Aoba was pretty much deafened already, because shit those trumpets were relentless. “I’ve probably got tinnitus,” Aoba realised. It was not long before they reached the swampy territory where JoJo and TRIPIO were battling it out. Their shoes had long been discarded, deemed impractical for the combat. Aoba knew this meant one thing for sure, his eyes darting down towards the ground. “GIMME THOSE TOOOOOES!” McSlyson roared, shooting up the hill at the speed of fast. He was McFreaking losing it and he hadn’t even caught a glimpse. “I thought you were dead!” Aoba spat blood into the grass. He was ignored. Nobody else had any sense of continuity, and the battle raged on. Aoba then took TRIPIO’s shoes because theyre even more fucking stupid looking than his own (there those stupid curly gold ones DIO wears btw). He had to end this battle to save Ren’s life (he was in the middle of the Battling Swamp), and he knew exactly how. The light bounced off of his beautiful blue locks of hair as he desparately cried “Pls stop guys, my dog is in the swamp too, please atleast wait till hes out” “Oh my god, what a cool dog!” JoJo said, pointing at the dog. This distraction proved near fatal. JoJo was knocked unconscious by DIO’s huge meaty paw. “My bicep is huge,” TRIPIO mused. “It’s probably cancerous.” Jojo was still unconscious so he couldn’t reply, but John Cena who had just arrived on the scene was brave enough to attempt the very risky and dangerous rebuttal of DIO’s declaration. He said “well they’re pretty big , but my friend has a cool friend who has a tree that has leaves with larger volume than your bicep. (trumpets still blaring) THis was it, John Cena had gone too far. Do you think DIO would just stand there and take this verbal abuse. NO he wouldn’t. Not if he had heard it. “What?” DIO screamed, unable to hear John’s rebuttal over his fucking loud-ass trumpets. “I SAID, MY FRIEND HAS A COOL FRIEND WHO HAS A TREE THAT HAS LEAVES WITH BIGGER VOLUME THAN YOUR BICEP!” John said with a confidence that took DIO by surprise. “how fu cking dare you” TRIPIO said calmly. This was it. He couldn’t believe the man had the audacity to say such a thing. That was it. DIO had had enough. DIO began spinning towards the pro wrestler, making that sound that DIO makes. WRYYYYYYYYYYY probably. Cena broke his fingers attempting to do the kaneki knuckle crack in anticipation. “Fuck, that hurt, not as easy as good ol’ kanek makes it look in the manga”. John Cena is a huge weeaboo by the way. “Knuck knuck, it’s knuckles,” Cena chuckled to himself, remembering the first time he attempted to do the kaneki thing. He then shed a tear and whispered “where are you Hide, please come home”

Chapter Text

A voice responded to Cena’s quiet cry , but it was not that of Hide. It was in fact the disembodied ghost of Shia Labeouf and a ghost Hide was also there, so it sort of was actually Hide, they had come to inspire him in preparation for his next fight. “DO IT” The ghost of Shia Screamed, unaware of the danger that was shooting towards him from behind. Cena began crying as he realised the presence of the ghostly Hide meant that Hide was in fact dead :( “Gimme those toooOOOOOoooOOOES” McSly squealed in delight at the sight of DIO’s ridiculously wicked feet, deformed from 7 years of wearing those fucking stupid yellow shoes. Sleigh blow had truly lost it, but the doppler effect was making his voice sound cool. Cena span around and walloped Slayer Bell, ending that right there and then, serving a brusque attitude adjustment. This was no place for that brand of shenanigans. Dipper had just now arrived at the scene of this mess, still crying about whatever it was that was making him sad, no one had asked him for no one actually cared. DIO, having successfully spun aimlessly for about 4 minutes, smacked Cena one right in the chops. He had it coming. No one is more cancerously huge than DIO Brando, not anymore. John Cena then returned the punch with a sparkle in his eye a rush of energy poured out of Jonathans body imbuing Cena with a new found vigour, “It seems Jonathan Joestar is in fact dead and i have been chosen as his successor to the JoJo name, so from this point onward I am John Jocena or Jojo for short.” “Rip DIO” Aoba lamented, the ringing in his ears becoming unbearable. He wanted nothing more than to kill JoJocena for the auditory pain he now suffered but he would have to wait for Jojocena to finish his clash with DIO, Aob wouldn't dare interrupt the great match. John Cena felt his pectorals rippling uncontrollably. Was this the power Jonathan spoke of? The nipple ripples, the quivering shivers of glory? Yes, it must be.it was HAMON.(this was before Cena got a stand btw at this point he had an actual crew of trumpeters following him around, and the 1 year later bit proves that jonathan makes a return so dont be sad about his death) He would not let DIO get away with the murder (he thought, anyway) of his friend and fellow wrestler Jonathan. He picked himself up out of the muddy bog and lept at DIO, catching his blonde-adorned face between his pectoral muscles and clenching tight. “YOU CANT SEE ME CENA SAID DOING HIS TRADEMARK FACE THING WHICH HE ACTUALLY STOLE FROM JONATHAN JOESTAR” Aoba yelled furiously, commentating the action while he waited to beat cena’s ass. He was pissed, almost as pissed as his piss yellow socks.

Aoba pulled out the above hand written diagram angrily, pointing out Cenas blatant theft of an iconic 1980’s manga pose.( the brown lines are like creases and the yellow is like tea stains adn the comic sans is aobas handwriting ok) DIO had no hope of defeating JoJocena’s wicked pecs, so he succumbed and let himself fall to the ground. He sank into the mud, expecting the touch of solid dirt eventually, but it did not come. It was an infinitely deep pit of mud. he just kept sinking. Aoba screamed in jealous rage, both at the fact that Cena had won, and at the fact that DIO was being treated to such a pleasant mudbath. Cena stood up, raising his arms in that pose that the winning wrestler guy does, and returned to the hillside that Aoba had been violently commentating from. The ghost of Shia lebeouf returned and shed a single tear congratulating and thanking Cena. “He did it.” Aoba stood up straight, looking Jojocena in the eyes, filled with lust and fury. “I fucking hate you Cena, but I sure don’t hate fucking you.”Aober said wittily a smirk rising to his dong. Jojocena was confused. Confused, but willing to accept his prize for defeating DIO who was also this universe’s trip for some reason that is and will remain unexplained.(this is a good place to put the picture i think)

The two ghostly apparitions then merged forming the most inspirational being the universe had ever been home to.

Shide LenagaBeouf could feel the sexual tension steadily rising, and he knew that there was only one way to remedy the situation. “JUST. DO IT.” He proclaimed, his life’s purpose finally fulfilled. “DON’T LET YOUR MEMES GET CREAMED, instead carry them home wrapped in a blanket whilst an acoustic version of unravel plays sadly in the background.” “When I’m home, I’m laugh,” Aoba shrugged. “Too damn right, blue man.” Cena agreed, wrapping Jonathan’s body in the picnic blanket they had brought along and setting off towards the Joestar mansion, Shide held snugly in his meaty arms. Danny and Ren then suddenly reappeared, no one's really sure but it’s quite likely they had been busy together doing gay dog things ;) “U got kik?” Aoba asked Cena. “Yeah add me, I’m ucantseememe69.” Cena replied with a cheeky wink. Aoba got flustered by the mention of a sick meme, and was forced to turn away to hide (hide the action not the ghost) his blush. It was not long until they arrived back at the Joestar mansion, now technically owned by John Jocena. Jonathan’s dad wasn’t dead, but he was small, frail and unable to defend against Cena’s wrestling moves and irresistible charm. Jojocena was carrying the thought to be deceased Jonathan’s lifeless body in a blanket whilst his trumpet crew blasted out a rendition of unravel as per the ghostly Shide had recommended Cena to do.

Chapter Text

Cena gazed into his massive husband’s dead eyes, tears welling in his own, threatening to drip down onto the blanket. The body of the late JoJo was tossed onto the Joestar’s finest couch, followed by cena’s own body as he executed a sick CPR bodyslam. Speedwagon showed up, even he was afraid when he saw the state of his close friend. “OH NO JOESTAR SAN HE CRIED IN LIKE A YELLING VOICE BECAUSE SPEEDWAGON IS A LOUD MAN AND I AM CHOOSING TO CONVEY THIS THROUGH THE USE OF CAPITALISED WRITING” Aoba told Cena through kik. Cena replied with nothing but a wink before returning to the job of reviving Jonathan, now joined by speedwagon in the flesh and not in the form of a textualized existence explained by aoba via the app kik. Aoba’s thumbs were weary and he couldn’t bear to see the mingling lips of the two Jojos any longer, so he retired to one of the bland-ass bedrooms in that house that you go into in dmmd(? yeah ok. whats that called again?glitter? leave all this in btw.itll add to the story. okay ill just add brackets) -The next morning- Aoba had been watching the sun, wise for 2 hours, unable to sleep for the constant and incurable ringing in his ears left by the cena approved trumpet squad. He could smell the wafts of blueberry juice emanating from the kitchen downstairs, so he rose from his smol cream coloured bed with the intent of investigating the smelly beverage. He stood up way too fast however, his vision going totally white for a few seconds while fresh blood pumped back to his face cavities. “SHIT” aoba had just remembered he had left the barely still alive bloodied body of his other self, sly balloon, up at the hill. He couldn't be bothered going to see if he had managed to survive the night so instead he just got on with his life and hurried down to see the blueberry juice for himself. He likes blue stuff so blueberries are totally cool in Aoba's eyes. When he managed to get out of the room to inspect the kitchen, he saw a sight that sent his blood another direction entirely. Both of the Jojos and Speedwagon had squeezed their otherwise naked bodies into a singular apron, asses exposed and limbs flailing about, squeezing fresh blueberries like their lives depended on it. Dipper was still crying, and still no one cared enough to ask why. Also Shide the ghost had returned back to the shadow realm or wherever the fuck it is that ghosts live. He probably returned to the fashion zone, that one section of Valleygirl with the Gabby jackets.You mean those weird green hooded ones? Yeah, the green ones made of the kind of coarse material. They’re cool. Anyway speedwagon heartily asked Aoba if he’d care for some fresh Blueberry juice, pointing out the similarities between aobs choice of clothing and the emancipated berries that were currently inside of the blender. John Jocena winked at Aoba via kik aoba left his phone thing,wait i think its called a coil, ,yeah thats it. ok well Aoba left his coil in the bedroom so he’d yet to see Cena’s passionate display of emotion. Aoba, after a long sleepless night of messaging Cena on kik and was simply too tired to deal with this shit. He walked backwards straight back into his room, but he was not safe just yet, for he forgot about JoJocena’s special ability. Not his invisibility which he'd yet to get because this was a 1 year earlier flashback and he didn't have his stand at this point in time, but his relentless sexting. His coil lit up with a flurry of winks and provocative *actions*, but aoba could simply not give less fucks than he did at this moment. His coil kept playing that fucking chiptune ringtone because it was also his notification tone, he had heard the fucking song all night, he had had enough of Cena’s sexual advances, he swiftly unfriended ,or whatever you do on kik I've never used it, Cena. But Cena had anticipated this and had already loaded up snapchat, preparing a wicked image of the his blueberry stained pecs for Aob’s 10 second inspection. Aoba had begun to regret adding Cena on every social networking app in existence, even IMVU and neopets. Most of all, Aoba regretted not appearing offline on skype, as it had given him away in the past, leading to a solid 2 hour video presentation by the pro wrestler in which he showed the blue man his collection of wrestling belts. Aoba did not care to repeat that day’s events, so he smashed his fucking coil to pieces, the only conceivable way to escape the big man’s flirting efforts.

( im not sure if this means cena has 23 belts or not, but just imagine him spending like 30 minutes detailing how he got each one and like some big story abot( i think theres only like 1 belt for each thing and it gets passed around omg)( yes cena. tell me abt ur belts)) “get rekt john cena” Dipper said in Microsoft Sam’s voice, but still nobody would pay attention to him, and he resumed his campaign of tears. No one knew why Dipper was so sad, but no one cared either. “Aoba, what’s the matter bro?” John Jocena literally fell through the roof. But his question would never be answered: he had landed directly on top of the small blue man and crushed his entire body. The trumpet band went wild, tooting their crazy brass with all of their might, as Cena fell to his knees and began to sob. And boy, did he sob. His cries were so loud that they permeated the halls of the Joestar glitter mansion, and eventually fell of the ears of a certain Speedwagon. “rip,” said Speedwagon. Aoba was as dead as slayer boob , but was slayed boob actually dead? yes, yes he was. he got stabbed by like 100 of DIO’s pants knives and had been left out on the hill for the cold night, there was definitely no way he could of survived. “Aoba” said the small dog in a deep yet sad robot voice, ren had finally returned to the forefront of the story. He quickly left the forefront as suddenly as he had reached it as John Cena interrupted the dog declaring his desire to hold a funeral in honor of the blue guy.

Chapter Text

It was now the neckst day, the day of le sick funeral . John Cena accidentally got his trumpet squad to play the popular tune “Sandstorm” by Darude™ as he had made the newbish error of getting it confused with the Dramatical murder menu song because the two songs sound like identical, and he new that that was the dead mans favourite song . “We are gathered here today, to celebrate the union of this useless blue man and the fucking ground, rest in fucking pieces.” Slip Blip((Can i like make the explanation of sly blue that dipper like resurrected him and the 2 fused into slip bip?) yeah hella. Nice ill do that then.) concluded his speech. No one could hear his speech over the fucking trumpets. “hi i watched monster musume holy shit SNAKE ASS YES MY SNAKE WAIFu snake ass”Said one of the narrators who was inside the casket with Aoba who had wreaked havoc from within his casket. “It’s a good show, Miia is my snake wife.” replied a different narrator also inside the casket, Slipper Crippsmasterloaf responded added that he thought that rachnera was the hottest. Ren was surprised as it had previously been established that Slight blew was most definitely and undeniably dead, yet here he was apparently.Slip Blip then went over and explained to ren that he wasn’t actually entirely slam blojam he was actually a fusion of the angry blue guy and Dipper from the popular disney channel cartoon “Gravity Falls” It seems that in the middle of the night Dipper had stopped crying long enough to venture into the hills to perform the fusion dance from dragon ball Z with the deceased body of slime bloog. The result was slipper Dip . (can someone make a picture of slipper dip later? just pretend thats here)(okay) “Slipper dripper is a fusion? Explains the 8 arms, I guess.” Needwagon confirmed. Lipper slip dripped his nips. Meanwhile, John Jocena was furious. It was DIO’s fault that Aobfedex was dead. All DIO’s fault. It was DIO’s fault for drowning in that glorious mud, which caused them to return safely to the Joestar mansion, where Jocena would ultimately slam , bam and spacejam his way on through the ceiling into Aoboobie’s frail cranium. John Jocena cursed DIO who was also TRIP just so you all remember. TRIPIO who was still falling through the infinite mud hole could sense the displeasure he had inadvertently caused the new JOJO , this provided the large yellow guy with enough energy to make his escape from the swamp.Tripio liked nothing more than upsetting guys named John. As Slip R.i.p pulled the plug on aobas deathbox and a blue liquid poured from the coffin, a majestic spluttering could be heard from the 6 foot hole underneath the box. “Who is that? Shit!” John Cena yelped, face wet with tears. “IT IS I, NANDIO! YOUR TEARS HAVE GIVEN ME A NEW SPICE FOR LIFE!” The spicy man declared in a mighty holler, muffled to the point of being barely audible by the leaking wooden box which had sealed him in the hole. (this is Nandio btw , hes the guy on the menu at our local nandos and we named him nandio an d hes like an meme between our grou p and stuff yeah)(friendship meme nandio)(if u want to see more nandio go to nandioli.tumblr.com) John Jocena leaned in closer, pressing his ear to the casket to listen to the majestic hollering, which proved to be a mistake as the coffin was abruptly shot into the air by the force of NAN-DIO’s wicked biceps. The force broke John Jocena’s perfectly angular jaw. Jocena was out of action for the foreseeable future. Without the use of his mighty jaw he would be unable to taunt the spice master and tell him that he was unable to see him whilst waving his hand in front of his face. John Jocena then muttered inaudibly as his jaw was broken, but slip bipper dip dong knew what he had said, without even hearing the words he could already understand. It was up to him. John Jocena then released his Jojo powers and entered the mind of Slip dip and managed to transfer his knowledge of Hamon directly into Slippy the frog from starfox dippy’s mind. Slippo Dip was now an expert on Hamon. Slip then demanded that from this moment onwards he be known as Slipple dipple the ripple master. Without hesitation, Slipple Dipple McRipple began to vibrate, flesh rippling every which way, tiny shockwaves coming from his petite yaoi body. NANDIO hauled himself out of the coffin spicily. It was hot. “Prepare to get spicy, you absolute nando's virgins” he declared proudly. There was only one man who was able to deal with the intensity of the spice filled air, unfortunately that man was not among our cast of characters. Not yet. That man was of course Guy Fieri. Maybe he can show up later or something, idk well see i guess. Anyway, Slipple Dipple the ripple master was going fucking insane, his vibrations hitting the resonant frequencies of everything in the vicinity, wreaking his special brand of quivering havoc. NANDIO was cut short by these tremors as he tried to begin another one of his monologues and soon he began to shake about because slipple’s hamon powers were affecting the air and made the spicy man shake about. “It seems Slipple’s powers are affecting the air and making me shake about!” The spicy man observed powerfully/\.” “I WILL DEFEAT YOU AND GET THE BODY OF MY PRECIOUS TOMODACHI AOBA BACK BOTH FOR MYSELF AND FOR ALL THE MEMBERS OF THE HONORABLE JOESTAR LINEAGE WHICH I HAVE NOW BEEN INDUCTED INTO. I HOPE YOURE READY NANDIO!!!!” Nandio then decided it was time to pull out another sick and awe inspiring monologue, this monologue was to be of the absolute fineest quality and to be remembered for all of eternity and eventually becoming his trademark spiel . The spiel was to be so awe inspiring that it actually became the sole reason that a large portion of our future readers first started reading this fucking story.”ok here goes.” Nandio declared. I nandio am the spiciest entity in the universe, my spice level is ever increasing and was last measured at slightly over the red bit on the nandos spicy meter.I was reawakened by the great pleasure DIO took in upsetting the currently out of action Cena. DIOs pleasure coupled with the mere existence of an infinite amount of mud allowed me to infiltrate aobs petite little body and be here now to spice up the galaxy. So. I hope your ready to experience the real Nandos experience . “How pathetic “ said Asuka moments before she teleported away. Slippy blip fell to his knees, obviously weakened by the spice factor of the speech. He clenched his fists, and raised his head to look nanDIO in the eye. “I will never give up.. for I have the power… of friendshipple!” Nandio despaired magnificently, before laughing off this pathetic and stereotypical nonsense. hehhehhehe (thats the ashish laugh) lets go to my space cave to finish this fight.

Chapter Text

NanDio teleported the two of them to the space cave, it wasnt actually a space cave it was the moon, he called it a cave though because it sounds more mysterious or something. “Technically, the moon is just a convex cave” was nandios argument he used to call it such. “Nandio is struggling to defeat him, sir. Should we send in an extraction team?” Pepe cleared his froggy throat, before turning to face his underling. “no nandio is pretty good he can do it i reckon” “Alright, g,” the small frog returned to his memestation. Pepe had been observing slipple dooby for months now, and he thought his best man nanDIO was capable of taking him out. BUt it seemed that sip doob wasn’t going down without a fight. Skip dip blooble jumped around frantically avoiding the spice that nanDIO emitted from his red earrings which neatly adorned his ear lobes. Scooby doo hadn’t anticipated the spice factor of his foe, which lead him to leave his milk in the fridge in his house. This was a move he began to regret as he became too tired to dodge all of nanDIO’s attacks.”Give up now you unspicy bastard, there's no way for you to be able to logically and coherently overcome my spice factor” While this was true, secret doobie brothers had a hidden power that would turn the tide of this battle… with his ripple skill, he began to rapidly jiggle all the cows within a 50 kilometer radius of him, which was none since he's on the moon Fuck, but he assured nanDIO that it would indeed be shaking them up if they were present. “if there were any cows on the moon… i would be shaking them right up.” sliddy dack spat at nanDIO. but nanDIO maintained a cool demeanor, much cooler than the sauce he was spraying from his earlobes. although nandio was still going strong, pepe who had secret video surveillance of the entire solar system and was watching the epic fight began to quake in his slimy boots at the thought of cowshaking. “someone lasting this long against nanDIO? this is a pretty… rare… occurrence” he quivered, slipping his toes around frantically. Pepe was even slipplier than slipple ripple and slippy from star fox ;) or is he?? ? . slipe (wait can the plot twist be that hes actually slippy from star fox since hes a frog, it also explains why hes in space)(okay but u gotta write that i know nothing abt star fox)(nice)(hes pretty much n64 graphics pepe with a hat i guess) pepe turned around to face the audience"WRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY" SLipepe screamed whilee doing a weird crouching and like doing the limbo pose. I think ive seen enough he croaked, "im going to sleep for like 50 years".

Next chapter coming soon, maybe, maybe not well see i guess lmao

Chapter Text

THE SUN WISE. (Im going to ammke some toast brb) (alright) o wise sun hear my prayer (im in class and im laug h about sun wise help) sdd (THE TEACHERS MAKIN A N OBAMA POSTER WITH SHIA IM LAUGHGOODa) HOOLY. Why they do that. hooly im home, im laugh.( last sem he photoshopped a woman into shrek he made her green and stuff omg he seems like a good teacher. he asked us how to unblock steam so he could play at school)( omg nice) yoho aoba yaho toreep desu (ok so for future reference any time someone is called sl____&B____;. thats sly blue but if it rhymes with dip its slip dip or whatever his actual name is.) VVV Sacred Garden of Shreekrets and Pepes (NO MINIONS ALLOWED) VVV

The end? or is it? find out on the next exciting episode of this(note written in 2018:look that probably wont ever happen)