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The skyline of smog and soot hung heavy on the cold winter night where the lights of the city tried to reach the heavens but reflected below off the dark masses above and made everything artificially brighter. The looming threat cascaded its glittering flurries onto the scene where it drenched the snow below, already rife with grim and dirt, shoveled to the sides and melted with salt in the streets. It left a fresh layer of white as though it was attempting to cleanse the city of sin.
It was there where the thick oppressive ceiling met the tallest points of old brick and gargoyled buildings that the tired and ragged vigilante came to rest. In all his years since the mantle of yellow, reds, and greens had slipped from his hands, Dick found he was drawn to the spot whenever he visited the city as though his very soul had been tethered there with a grappling hook to the towering beacon. It was where he’d been brought to take the first leap, where he’d fallen for the first time, and where the perpetual meetings ended with longing for more.
He sighed as his hand came to rest upon a chiseled sentient, eyes closing to the whipping wind that threatened to blow him from the roof should he simply let himself succumb to the call of gravity. His black and blue suit kept him warm enough, far used to the needs that such a lifestyle brought, hardened to the sacrifices it asked of him, but it never prepared him or shielded him from the low and gravelly voice that came from the side. It etched across his body with shivers, reminding him of why he kept returning, of why he couldn’t let go of Gotham’s skyline.
“Are you here for a case?”
Dick lifted his gaze over to the approaching figure of his former mentor clad in the all too familiar black. Straight to business as always, he hadn’t expected a warm welcome and turned to face the approaching vigilante as he leaned against the gargoyle. The easy smile that betrayed the eager enthusiasm in his heart tugged on his lips and he shook his head, “just a light patrol before I drop by the house. PennyOne said he prepared something fun this Valentine's for all of us in single status.”
“Yes, he did mention it to me,” Bruce replied with a look out across the city.
“Jealous?” Dick grinned wider with a hand tossed into the air. It was far easier to pretend to be unaffected, to pretend that the knowledge Bruce was slipping further and further away from him didn’t hurt than to confront the feelings that had bored deep within his heart.
“Hardly.”
“Have you gotten prepared? What am I saying, of course you have. I bet you’ve got something nice and romantic lined up, real classy too, but the real question is, will it be Batman or Brucie that woos your dear little Cat Woman?”
“Nightwing,” Bruce’s voice came, an admonishing tone and Dick looked around as if anyone could hear them with a brow raised before he shrugged, gaze following Batman as he walked around to take his spot on the other side of the gargoyle. He put both hands on the head of the stony beast and rested his chin upon it as he waited for his stoic boss to answer.
There was a deep set to his mouth that made Dick wonder if things weren’t progressing well with the feline fiend and he perked his head up to fill the silence with what he knew Bruce would never openly share on his own without prodding.
“Something wrong?”
“It’s nothing,” Bruce was quick to offer, eyes still focused on the quiet streets below them.
“That’s something-”
“There’s nothing wrong.”
“Okay, maybe not that exactly but don’t lie to me. No one knows you better than I do,” Dick said, coming to stand next to Bruce’s side and join in the sightseeing. He could feel the radiating warmth of mentor, his side alive with tingling desire to touch hands, to touch his shoulder, to lean over and touch his-.
“If you must know, I was considering…proposing.”
“That’s-” Dick began, waves of emotion overtaking him. He couldn’t let the pain show, his smile faltering for all of a second before he doubled down on the effort of looking ecstatic. Of course, he really was happy that Bruce found someone he was willing to spend his life with, to be happy with, even if it wasn’t him , and Dick turned to face him and patted against the cloak on the back before coming to rest on the shoulder. “That’s wonderful news, Batman! Congratulations! But, why the long face? Afraid she might say no?”
“There is a possibility,” Bruce replied solemnly, though Dick could see a bit of a nervous whimsical smile overtake his mentor’s lower face.
“Is that all? Doesn’t seem like it should be stressing you out so much. I think she’s really into you.” Dick sat down onto the stone, dangling his feet off. After the wind sang its songs to them, stilling in the night air, Bruce sat down next to Dick and put his hands together.
“It’s not my only concern, rather it’s a concern I’ve had for a long time.”
“I see.” Dick gave a small chuckle, turning his head to the side slightly to look at the side profile of the man he’d grown to love. “You’re afraid of her saying yes.”
“Precisely.”
“Afraid she’ll prevent you from being successful? Distract you from being Batman? That she can be used as leverage against you just as we have been? That you could become a father…” Dick’s voice trailed off as the small smile that had been on Bruce’s lips had left, leaving behind a hard set. It was all the excuses he’d given Bruce for why he’d never kissed him, why he’d never reciprocated soft flirts, the occasional just too long holds and shared gazes. Though he felt like something might have been there, he’d long since given up hope and filled the endless moments with excuses. Excuses like…
“Need I remind you I am a father already.”
“I meant seeing your child as an infant, Batman,” Dick interjected with a sigh and a pause, a hurt in his heart. It was a reminder he didn’t want, though he also wanted to remind Bruce that he wasn’t his son by birth or law . He lifted his hands up as if a baby was in them smiling at him. How he imagined their baby to be. It wasn’t as though Dick had given it deep thought before, but now that he’d just imagined it, it made the work of smiling and looking easy going all the much harder.
“All of the kids you’ve wrangled in so far have been grown, set in ways, already molded and beginning their independence. It’s not the same with a baby. Seeing their chubby little faces and knowing that you’re in charge of ensuring they grow up well, knowing you’re going to mess it all up anyways…”
“The worries are warranted,” Bruce said with a nod, not offering a look any further into the inner turmoil that Dick knew dwelt. He’d watched Bruce give up so much of his life for Batman and he placed a comforted hand on his shoulder, hoping the love in his heart could show in the gesture.
“You’re not alone, Batman. Gotham has such promising and capable young adults looking after her now, and I think the city can finally let you be more than Batman. You’ve earned the right to love and happiness many times over. Just let me know how I can help. I’ll always be here for you, sidekick or not.”
With the warm smile moving over the familiar lips, Dick found himself watching them as they turned closer to him. He wasn’t sure if the warmth of the moment was imagined, what should be a mere desire to show he’d be there for him had turned into something that made his chest fall and rise with nervous adrenaline. He reminded himself again, strongly, that Bruce was talking about his potential future wife, not him, his kids with her, not him, his life that Dick was only ever a side note in.
Perhaps it wasn’t a strong enough reminder as he felt himself leaning in, when he felt Bruce leaning in. His mouth felt dry, swallowing before his lips parted and with all the swell of the impossibility that threatened to steal his breath away. They met. Surprisingly softer lips than he’d ever imagined, the stubble that already scratched against him, and ungodly heat that rolled through his body prickling his senses all made him feel light, like he might simply float away.
None of the countless fantasies had prepared him for it, nor for the fact that Bruce was kissing him back, hesitant but testing before it deepened, and when Dick finally needed air, he let their breath mingle before he looked up. His heart was still hammering in his chest, a flush in his cheeks, a knot in his stomach, but Bruce was not smiling, the indecipherable look concealed by the cowl.
Dick gasped and jerked back, mortified, quick to look away as he pulled his hand from Bruce’s shoulder wondering if he’d imagined Bruce leaning in, if he’d imagined the draw all on his own in his lopsided love. He felt heavy like he might fall, fall so hard he’d gladly die on the sidewalk and he scrambled up to his feet while his stomach turned over.
“Nightwing,” Bruce said suddenly, lifting a hand as though to indicate he should stay, but Dick didn’t want to stick around for the rejection, to hear that their years together was never anything more than friendship to him.
“Good luck on your proposal. I mean that. Let’s just...pretend this didn’t happen.” Dick was quick to take off, letting the city rise and engulf him into her darkness where he could hide and hurt and eventually one day, one day…heal.
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Work was never ending when the city of Gotham was in need, and Bruce was certain that she would always be in need. Though he’d done all he could for her, ran himself ragged, damaged relationships, and given pieces of his body and so much blood, he still felt like he was betraying his cause when he thought of marrying. Selina had finally given him an answer and put his heart at ease, or at least, he thought he would feel at ease, but as Dick seemed to predict, the reasons he worried for her “yes” were there, all but one reason unknown to him until now.
He had wondered if he’d pushed Dick’s boundaries too far when he’d asked him to fill in for Clark as his best man when a mission had taken him to the far reaches of space, but he couldn’t think of anyone else he’d want next to him. Much of the details were handled by planners, and despite Dick’s insistence for a grand bachelor party, they passed it instead stargazing out on the manor lawn together with a picnic.
Everything had led up to this point, everything in place, everything as it should be, but Bruce had a hard time pinpointing just what was frustrating him so when he worked the cufflinks on his tux. Even as small conversation filled the rooms, and hugs and well wishes were given all around, Bruce found himself gazing out the window heavy in thought.
“Come on, big guy, time to get married,” Dick said, coming to stand next to him. “Worried someone will come to spoil Bruce Wayne’s wedding?”
“Security is sufficient, I’m sure,” Bruce offered, trying not to look at his young companion. He couldn’t look at him. In fact he found it harder and harder to look at him as the days went, and after the night spent looking at stars, he certainly couldn’t look at him now, but yet his eyes found themselves drawn to him like a moth to flame. He couldn’t help but study his face, to see the careful shave, the skin moisturized, hair with product brushed into a perfect yet effortless looking shape, but the thing that affected him most was the curve of his lips, the way they parted and moved while he spoke.
“They’d have to be pretty brazen, but it wouldn’t be the first time someone’s crashed a Wayne event. Maybe I should go check the parameters before the ceremony starts.”
“No.”
“No?” Dick asked, eyes turning towards him, the curious expression shadowing something nervous beneath it.
“You said it’s time.”
“Right, it is.” Dick beamed up at him and Bruce nodded in return, not willing to ruin things now that they’d come so far.
“Is your plus one already seated?”
“Of course, they’re on call for when the music starts,” Dick replied, his eyes moving away as their bodies turned and they made their way to the altar. The rest of the walk was in silence with a few stops for hugs and handshakes but eventually the two of them had made it up to the front of the outdoor venue, sweeping greenery and white wisping fabric framed a canopy for him to marry beneath.
Most were seated, a few standing nearby to idly talk while they waited, and though Bruce had signed off on it all, he couldn’t help but feel as though he’d misplaced something or forgotten some detail. It nagged at his brain, running through plans, plane tickets, packed bags, patrols in place for his absence, even down to the knowledge that Damian’s homework was finished before the weekend started, but nothing gave him reprieve to the dilemma.
When finally the music began and the guests had been completely seated, Bruce straightened his shoulders and smiled as it was expected, looking out past the flowered pylons and hedged bushes that separated the ceremony’s area from the rest of the event. When the music began to repeat a small whisper had begun and Bruce looked to Dick as though he might have some idea of what was happening.
“I can go check,” Dick offered, stepping down a level on the platform.
“No, I will. Stay put,” Bruce replied, passing greetings until he’d gotten to the end of the line. Selina was just beyond the bend, wringing her hands as a few of the girls were nearby offering support.
“Selina? Is everything alright?” he asked, face softening at the beautiful woman who looked up at him in distress. It contrasted wildly with the gentle satin white dress that showed off her elegance. He worried at what was causing such anxiousness and took her hands in his own.
“I can’t marry you, Bruce,” Selina was quick to say. His eyes crossed to the others, their faces sympathetic and tinged with pity and they walked away, leaving the two of them together alone. He lifted his hands to her shoulders, looking her directly in the eyes trying to make sense of the sudden change of heart.
“Why?”
“We can’t leave it at that?” She asked in jest, almost hopeful and let out a sigh, expression pained as she placed her hands on his chest.
“I deserve that much at least.”
“I want a heart that’s free, Bruce. Your heart, it belongs to too many.”
“I love you, Selina. Is it not proof enough that we’ve come this far that you’re in my heart?”
“I know, and I love you too.”
“Then why? Is it because of my work?”
“I know your heart will always belong to the city and the city needs you , Bruce, but that’s just one reason.”
Bruce felt himself being pushed back, gently, until he’d stepped back somewhat in the view of the curious onlookers. He followed her eyes as she peeked by the flowers towards the front at Dick who stood watching, expression concerned but attempting to look calm for the sake of the crowd.
His brows furrowed as she pulled his gaze back to her by a finger to the chin.
“I’ve seen the way you both try not to look at each other, more now than ever. I thought I’d crash your bachelor's party, but what I saw instead, it made me wonder why you’re marrying me at all. Don’t you feel it? You’ve been distant since this morning. You must know what I’m talking about.” She cupped his face with her hand, smiling as she held back her hurt. “I don’t want to waste a second of my life with scraps of love, and neither should you. Keep our city safe, Bruce. I’ll see you around I’m sure.”
When the small sweet kiss of goodbye had been delivered, he watched her walk away. He couldn’t be completely surprised when it felt like a weight had been lifted, freeing him. It confused him, as he was certain he wanted to marry her. He was so certain, at least, he had been until he’d felt compelled to kiss Dick, to lean into him and claim the lips he didn’t know he’d wanted. How long had Dick been nestled into his heart and thoughts? He wasn’t sure that Dick had felt the same, hadn’t he reacted to his kiss with disgust? He’d left so quickly, telling him to forget about it. It had taken all his willpower not to lean in and kiss him under the starlight while they talked of constellations and their tragic stories.
He found himself looking back towards his young ward who had stepped down to the ground level, ready to fight for him, eyes eagerly worried, eyes that were in love. How had he missed such obvious signs? He began to make his way towards him, steps with purpose, steps that made Dick straighten up, face turning serious, but Bruce’s heart shook with fear despite how certain he felt. No one knew him better than Dick. Dick had always seen right through him save perhaps for this one secret and now he needed to know for certain if it was real for Dick too.
“Is everything okay?” Dick asked him in a flustered whisper when he’d approached, staring up at him.
He slipped his hand up to the side of Dick’s face, fingertips caressing cheek and hair to gaze at the man who’d filled his heart when he hadn’t been looking. A smile touched his lips before he grabbed him by the small of his back and engulfed him in a hard passionate kiss with all his friends and acquaintances as witness. The rigid man he cared so greatly for in his arms relaxed, rested against him, and made him feel complete as he kissed back. Bruce decided he didn’t want to waste a second more of any of their lives.