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Chapter Text

The sound of sizzling filled the air as Paper laid a few strips of bacon in the pan. He made toast, plated some scrambled eggs, and poured a glass of orange juice. He prepared a cup of coffee with milk and a dash of sugar, and gathered everything onto a tray to take upstairs.

It was only 5:30 AM, and OJ was already sat at his desk, paging through complaints. Paper set the tray down on the desk.

"Good morning, clementine. I brought you breakfast," Paper cheerfully announced.

"Oh! You know, you really didn't have to do that," OJ said, taking a sip from the coffee. He hummed and nodded; it was made just the way he liked it.

"I know, but I wanted to. You work so hard all the time. In fact," Paper slid the stack of complaints aside and out of OJ's reach, "I've decided that today you're going to take a break."

"I am, am I?" OJ chuckled and grabbed his planner. "And who will be keeping this place afloat while I do? I don’t suppose YOU want to deal with the residents' complaints of squeaky door hinges and leaking faucets?"

"I've stood in for you before when MePhone tricked you into rejoining Inanimate Insanity," Paper replied.

"Uh-huh. And remind me again how many times the kitchen caught fire during that week?"

"That was completely unrelated," Paper said quickly. "Look, I know you worry that something bad will happen if you let your guard down, but you can't keep burning the candle at both ends. You need to take time for yourself, too."

"I do take ti–" OJ started, but he was cut off by a glare from Paper.

"I'm not budging on this, so you can either choose to relax and let me take care of things, or I can tie you to the bed and force you."

"Don’t threaten me with a good time," OJ joked, but he closed his planner and put it away. "I concede, you win. I'll take the day off, but if anything happens, I'm stepping right back in."

Paper let out a squeal of delight and clapped his hands. "You won't regret this! I'll go take care of this stuff now," Paper said, grabbing the planner and complaint list, "And then I'll be back and we can cuddle!" He picked up the empty dishes to take downstairs and left.

OJ sighed and checked his phone. He didn't really have any hobbies, having given them up in order to dedicate his time to running the hotel. He honestly couldn't even remember what he used to do in his freetime before Inanimate Insanity. He fiddled around with the stuff on his desk, arranging and rearranging his pens and papers. He tidied up the rest of his desk, cleaned off his bedside table, made the bed, answered a few emails, and rearranged his bookshelf before checking his phone again. It had only been 5 minutes. Today was going to be a long day.

Chapter Text

Paper looked over the agenda for today. He had just finished changing the filter for the AC unit in Tissues and Trophy's room, which Tissues had been complaining was dirty and letting in dust that was making him cough. Paper didn't think the filter looked all that dirty, but he changed it out anyway.

Up next was patching the suspiciously game-controller-shaped hole in the lobby wall that Pickle claimed had "just appeared one day." Paper grabbed the spackling paste and scraper from the supply closet and headed downstairs. He found the hole right next to the TV and got to work.

"Doing repairs?" Paper looked up to see who asked that. It was Soap.

"Yes! I'm filling in for OJ while he takes the day off."

"Oh, he took the day off? That's so unlike him. Is he sick?" Soap asked, worried.

Paper spoke quickly, lest Soap go try to deep OJ. "No, no. The only thing he's sick with is a work addiction. I offered to take over so that he could relax a bit."

"Aw, how sweet! Is there anything I can do to help?"

"Oh, well, I really don't want to force anything on to you–"

"Nonsense! It'll give me something to do!"

"Well... the laundry still needs to be done..."

"On it!" Soap gave a playful salute. "You can count on me!"

"Thanks, I really appreciate it," Paper said. Soap left, and Paper finished patching the hole. It would have to be painted over later, but that was good for now.

Next on the list was to weed the flower beds out front. That seemed easy enough. Unfortunately, Mother Nature seemed to think it was too easy, as by the time Paper had gathered the supplies he needed and headed to the door, it had started to drizzle. It wasn’t raining too hard, but any amount of water had the potential to cause some serious issues for Paper. Still, the weeding had to be done, and Paper promised OJ that he'd take care of it.

Paper set down the bucket of tools by the door and went into the kitchen. He rummaged around in the cabinet before pulling out a roll of cling film. Hopefully, this would do the trick. He wrapped himself up a few times in the plastic before going back to the door. He took a deep breath before taking a step outside. So far, so good.

Paper managed to pull out the weeds in about 3/4 of the flower beds before the rain started to pick up, and his MacGyver-ed raincoat began to leak. He could feel the edges of his page getting damp and hurried to finish the rest of the beds. Paper grabbed the very last dandelion and tried his best to yank it out, but the rain had made the leaves slippery, and he couldn't get a good grip.

The ink of his red and blue lines was beginning to bleed down into his eyes, so he quickly grabbed a trowel and dug the dandelion out by the root. He threw it into the bucket and rushed back inside.

Paper tore the wet plastic off, though he remained careful not to rip himself. He was looking a little worse for wear, but he'd be fine after drying for a bit. Probably.

Chapter Text

"You look like Hell," Salt said.

"Thanks. Do you have one or not?"

"Yeah, yeah. Come on in." Salt stepped away from the door and went into the bathroom to grab a hairdryer for Paper. She plugged it in and gestured for Paper to come closer, which he did.

"Why do you even have a hair dryer?" Paper asked.

"I use it to de-fog my mirror after I shower." Salt turned the hair dryer on low and pointed it at Paper. "So what were you doing outside in the rain anyway?"

"I was doing yard work for OJ."

"You were doing something for OJ?" Salt perked up at OJ's name.

"Yes, I'm filling in for him today to give him a break."

"So you're saying he's free today?"

Paper rolled his eyes. Of course that's what she would take away from this. "You know, I think he said he was going to use his free day to catch up on some reading and not talk to anyone," He lied.

"He’s such a scholar! He must really appreciate you taking on this responsibility for him." Salt gasped suddenly and turned off the hairdryer. "I should do something, too! I'm sure if he saw how responsible and productive I am, there's no way he'd say no to a date! Here, give me that planner." Salt reached for the planner, but Paper pulled it away from her.

"I don't really know... You're not exactly... manager material," Paper said, trying his best to make it sound as inoffensive as possible.

"Oh, come on! I'm, like, really good at doing things! Test Tube said I ran Inanimate Insanity in another timeline, so I must be good at managing stuff or whatever."

"Hmm...Okay, I guess you could help out with something..." Paper flipped through the agenda, looking for a simple task to give Salt in order to placate her. "We're running low on a lot of things, and we need someone to go grocery shopping. Do you think you could do that?"

"Of course, I love shopping! Pepper and I go shopping at the mall all the time!" Salt exclaimed.

"Grocery shopping. You need to go grocery shopping, not clothing shopping," Paper said. "Here. I'll jot down a list of things for you to get. You can take our card to pay for everything." Paper scribbled down a shopping for Salt on a sticky note and handed it over, along with the hotel credit card. "Remember: Just get what's on the list."

"Of course, of course! OJ's going to be so impressed by me! Ooh, I should go ask Pepper if she wants to come, too." Salt tossed the hairdryer to Paper. "You can finish drying off by yourself, right? Great, thanks!" And with that, she was gone.

Paper sighed. It wasn’t exactly professional of him to have the residents perform upkeep on the hotel, but at least he'd finish the list faster.

Chapter Text

OJ sat on the floor, staring up at the ceiling and counting the seconds tick by. He had tried to relax, he really had, but nothing seemed to work. He had tried reading, but the majority of the books on his bookshelf were manuels on running a hotel. He had tried watching videos and playing games on his phone, but it just wasn't his thing. He had even tried taking a nap, but like every time he tried to get some shut eye, he couldn't stop thinking about work. Maybe a trip to the walk-in fridge would help him chill. OJ left the room, locking the door behind him, and headed down the hall.

"Hello Internet, and welcome to 'A Day in the Life of Fan and the Mechanical Engineer with a PhD Who He Pulled by Being Autistic'!"

"We're not calling it that."

OJ turned the corner to see Fan and Test Tube standing in the hallway. They had a camera set up on a tripod in front of them.
"Oh, sorry! Am I interrupting your filming?"

"Hey, OJ. You're not interrupting anything, we're just messing around," Fan said.

"Fan wanted to film something a little more casual, so we'd just film some stuff around the hotel. With resident consent, of course. What are you up to?" Test Tube added.

"Nothing much. Paper told me I should take the day off, but I don't really have anything else to do. I guess that’s manager life, right?" OJ tried to laugh off how depressing that statement sounded.

Fan and Test Tube looked at each other, then back at OJ. "Wanna be in our video?"

"...And that’s why I later decided to make them roommates!"

"That is just evil!" Fan laughed. OJ, Test Tube, and him were sitting in the lobby as OJ told various stories about his time on Inanimate Insanity.

"Golly, we could make a video series on your stories alone!" Test Tube said, readjusting her grip on the camera.

"Ooh, a storytime series! That's a good idea, Test Tube, we should write that down."

OJ smiled. This was nice. OJ hadn't spent much time with Fan nor Test Tube before. Fan did once approach him to ask if he wanted to be on "Fan's Fantastic Features!", but OJ had been too busy. He'd always been too busy. He absentmindedly wondered how Paper was getting along.

Chapter Text

Paper was not doing well. From what he could gather from the yelling, Trophy had apparently pushed Bomb, which caused him to blow up the door to the Cherries room, and now everyone who lived in that hall was fighting.

"Hey, um, maybe we should stop shouting and talk this through?" Paper timidly offered, but no one could hear him. "Excuse me? Guys?" He let out a frustrated sigh. "EVERYBODY SHUT UP!"

The hallway suddenly went quiet and all eyes turned to look at Paper. Though he had gotten professional help dealing with his Idiotic Island related trauma and was doing much better now, there wasn't a single resident at Hotel OJ who took him getting upset lightly.

"Okay, everyone who has nothing to do with the situation can leave." Everyone except for the Cherries, Trophy, and Bomb reluctantly went back to their rooms. Paper turned to the four who were left. "Alright, Trophy. What's your side of the story?"

Trophy crossed his arms. "I was just trying to get to my room when Bomb stepped in my way. It's not my fault he exploded when I tried to get past."

"Bomb, your side?"

"I w-was heading downstairs f-for lunch, and Trophy shove m-me into the door!"

"I did not! I just nudged you!"

"You pushed me!"

"You’re overreacting!"

"Both of you shut up!" Paper shouted. "Trophy, you pushed Bomb. Bomb, you blew up the door. I don’t care if it was all an accident, but both of you are going to help the Cherries fix their door. We have some spare stuff in the basement, you can probably find a replacement door. Tools are in the storage closet." There was plenty of grumbling, but Trophy and Bomb did start picking up charred shards of door.
Paper turned to leave, but paused. "And no more yelling. Please." He ran a hand over his face as he left the four residents to their word. No wonder OJ always seemed pissed off. Paper heard a loud thud from downstairs and groaned. Now what?

Paper hurried down to the lobby to see that Salt and Pepper had returned. piled up around them were bags upon bags of mall merchandise. Paper felt his heart drop.

"How much did you buy!?" Paper dug through the bags. "And where are the groceries!?" Salt and Pepper stopped talking and giggling and turned to Paper. Their faces dropped.

"Um... we might have forgotten to get them."

"Hehe... Yeah..."

Paper just stared at them. "You didn't get the groceries? I sent you with a list, and you didn't get the groceries?"

"We lost the list and got a bit distracted," Salt said, crossing her arms defensively.

"Yeah! You've never gotten distracted before?" Pepper added.

Paper's phone buzzed and he checked it. Apparently, the hotel card was almost out of funds. "HOW MUCH MONEY DID YOU SPEND!?"

Before Salt could answer, they all heard a scream from behind.

"I just waxed that floor! You’re getting it all dirty!" Soap was standing by the entrance to the kitchen freaking out at the Cherries because the pile of burnt door that they were holding was leaving a trail of ash behind them.

"Why are you waxing the floor!?" Paper asked. "I just told you to do the laundry!"

Soap looked up. "Oh, well, I finished the laundry, so I thought I'd wax all the tile floors in the hotel. You know to help out," she said sweetly.

"Why is everyone yelling down here? Paper said no more yelling!" Trophy yelled, holding his own pile of door shards as he ran down the stairs. Before anyone could warn him, he slipped on the freshly waxed floor and careened into the newly patched wall, replacing the suspiciously game-controller-shaped hole with a much larger Trophy-shaped dent. Fighting promptly broke out.

"Is this a bad time to ask if anyone has any funny childhood stories?" Paper looked over to see Fan and OJ entering from a side room. Oh no.

"Paper? What's going on?" OJ had an extremely concerned look on his face as he approached.

"Nothing! I have everything under control," Paper lied. "This is your day off, you should be relaxing! How about you go back into that other room and sit down and don't worry about anything going on in here!"

"I just knew things were going to get out of control," OJ said. "I never should have let you take on this responsibility all by yourself! I need to go–"

"I SAID SIT YOUR GLASS DOWN."

Everyone fell silent again as Paper's voice shook the room. Nobody moved.

"Hey, I think someone just delivered a package for me," Microphone called from the stairs above. "Could somebody grab it?"

Paper took a deep breath. "I got it." He opened the front door to grab the package and promptly got blasted in the face by the torrential downpour of rain from outside.

Chapter Text

It was 4 hours later, and Paper was sitting on the couch, sobbing with his face buried in his hands as OJ sat next to him, rubbing his back. Magazines lay scattered on the floor from when Paper had flipped the coffee table in a fit of rage, and plastic shopping bags lay torn up in the foyer. Everyone was awkwardly standing around in silence.

"yOU'RE ALWayS workinG So HArD, I JUST WANTED To do somEtHING nICE FOr you!" Paper choked out between sobs.

"I know, I know. You did your best, and I'm not upset at you," OJ soothed.

"BuT I FaiLED! I juST pROVeD ThaT I COUlDN'T takE caRE OF THE HOtel, anD I cOUlDn'T tAKe CaRE OF you!" Paper looked up at OJ and took a shaky breath. He was silent for a few moments while he calmed down. "I hate it that you're always so stressed. I really care about you. I want to help you."

"I know, but that doesn't mean you have to take on everything by yourself."

"And you don't have to either!" Paper grabbed OJ's hand. "It's not good for you to take on everything, it's going to make you sick."

"Paper, I'm fi–"

"NO! You’re not fine, I know you're not fine. You rarely sleep more than 3 hours a night, you routinely forget to eat, and you were diagnosed with resistant hypertension last week, not to mention the other issues I highly suspect you've developed as well."

Paper and OJ looked at each other for a while, Paper silently begging OJ to understand. "You’re right," OJ conceded. "I probably could stand to ask for help more often."

Paper let out a sigh of relief. "Promise me you will?" OJ hesitated. "OJ..." Paper said in a warning tone.

"I promise." OJ meant it. "I promise that we'll share responsibility from now on."

"Thank you," Paper whispered, pulling OJ into a hug.

"Okay, that's cute and all, but I took some serious blunt force trauma to the face from that wall, so can someone take me to the hospital?" Trophy asked.

"Oh! Yes, yes, of course, I'm so sorry!" Paper hurriedly got up to go grab OJ's car keys while Soap and OJ helped Trophy outside where it had thankfully stopped raining. Paper tossed OJ his keys, and they were off.

By the time they had gotten back from the hospital, the rest of the residents had cleaned up the lobby and finished repairs on both the wall and the Cherries' door. Soap and Tissues helped lead Trophy upstairs to rest, and OJ and Paper went into the kitchen for some late dinner. Salt and Pepper were in the kitchen, as well.

"We, um, we went back and returned the things we bought," Salt said.

"Yeah, and then we picked up the groceries. We might not have gotten everything, but we tried," Pepper added.

Paper smiled. "Thank you."

"We also took care of dinner for you," Microphone said, coming over with two plated meals for OJ and Paper. "As an apology."

The two managers graciously took the plates and sat down to eat. Eventually, everyone else came in and joined them. It wasn’t a loud dinner like it usually was when everyone got together, but it wasn't silent either. Conversation was pleasant, as was the company. Paper closed his eyes and let the comfortable atmosphere wash over him.

Pickle and Bomb were discussing a new video game that Pickle had gotten, with Tissues occasionally interjecting with things he had heard about the game. Microphone was telling Soap about the electric keyboard that she had delivered today, and though Soap didn't seem to understand any of it, she nodded along politely. Cheesy and the Cherries were talking pranks, Fan and Test Tube were talking statistics. And, of course, Salt and Pepper were talking about how helpful they were today.

"It seems like everything on here is done, huh?" Paper opened his eyes to see OJ looking over his planner.

"That's the power of teamwork," Paper joked. OJ laughed.

"I believe someone promised me cuddles after everything in here was done."

"Mmm... I suppose I should keep my promises if I want you to keep yours, huh?" OJ and Paper wandered off, later to be found snuggled up in their bed, asleep.