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Chapter Text

Sweet Jazz City!

A bustling metropolis where the sun shone for seven months of the year. Although it was already August, the trademark summer glow of the city had yet to fade. The warm breeze flowed across the city’s countless parks and through their green trees. The city’s multicolored skyline sparked an aurora borealis of blues, pinks, and purples. An iron rainbow.

Sweet Jazz stood as a center for business and the arts, home to first-rate corporations and a world-famous art museum, which had only suffered its first break-in! That’s not too bad! Sure, there were a few dozen… thousand dollars in damage. But that price was nothing for the rich elite of the nation’s capital! Well-to-do socialites happily wandered the city’s glowing shopping centers and gorgeous emerald-verdant parks without a care in the world. Even the emptiest corner of greenery had a respectable number of parkgoers, all of them happy with smiles as bright as the sand.

Well.

All except for one.

One little boy under a lamp post was pacing back and forth like a Mother outside of a Principal’s Office.  “...did I give them the wrong intersection?” Giovanni Potage had been standing alone on a street corner across from a park for about twenty minutes now, and he was getting worried. It was only a Tuesday, which meant that it was one of the only days everyone was willing to ditch school for some tomfoolery. Giovanni and his friends had a strange schedule, but he’s learned to try and plan around it.

Giovanni loved getting into trouble and tomfoolery, but he still worked somewhat hard even when he didn’t attend school. School was just so… boring . Giovanni’s Mother had somehow talked Giovanni into attending school on odd days and committing his “crimes” on even ones, and she had even more miraculously gotten the school to agree to this. Giovanni’s minions- his closest friends- all had to attend school normally, but he had managed to talk some of them into ditching with him on occasion. Giovanni worked hard to have fun and do the work he needed to for school, but overall he would describe himself as a “slacker” (he wasn’t).

Mrs. Potage had tried on several occasions to understand what exactly was ‘wrong’ with her boy, but every time the only ‘solution’ Doctors would give her was a medication that she couldn’t afford on their current budget. So, she spends most of her days letting Giovanni do whatever he wants while trying to steer him in the right direction. At least he didn’t steal anything from the museum, but this latest kick in romanticizing criminals has her worried…

And yeah, Giovanni loved criminals. It started with listening to True Crime podcasts, then crime dramas, then a number of movies and stories where the villain was either the good guy all along or misunderstood, leading to his recent affixation with the Banzai Blasters. Every second of free time Giovanni had was spent planning a future of crime! Even today, he planned on speaking to his minions about how to further their capers! After all, he had just gotten a taste of real crime , and it was exhilarating! The Museum had everything- drama, plot twists, nemeses, and a kick-ass Banzai Blaster with a tragic backstory (not that he yet knew what it was)! But now, he’s been waiting for quite some time, and Giovanni is starting to worry about his boys.

“We were supposed to meet here, right?” Giovanni’s quaff of ginger hair sways in the wind like a set of chimes as he glances up and down the street. “I got the address right, didn’t I?” Giovanni pulled out his phone, but the ‘LOW BATTERY’ symbol is all that filled his view. “Ugh! I knew I was forgetting something…” he shoves the phone back into his pocket, hoping that his friends would soon be arriving. He leaned against a lamp post in his trademark tomato-colored coat with a pair of rain boots his Mom made him put on before he left.

The intersection he stood at was right on the waterfront next to a lustrous green park. It was a beautiful afternoon and there wasn’t a cloud in the sky. For a normal person, it would’ve been a picture-perfect day in the city, but for Giovanni potage, it just felt too cutesy . Sure, it was a scary and unfamiliar part of the city, but that’s why Giovanni wanted to meet here! The whole inspiration of meeting in a dark and creepy corner of the city came from some weird old VHS tapes from thirty-plus years ago that the school would show them- some public safety stuff called “Ztreet Smartz”. They gave pretty standard city life advice: “Don’t climb into the trunk of a car.” “Don’t eat garbage.” “Don't talk to ztrangers.” It also said that if you asked for directions, there was a chance the person you were talking to is a murderer! Which is awesome !

Right now, though, the only people Giovanni can see walking down the road are some prissy-looking business folk. Bo-ring! ...though, maybe he should ask someone if they’d seen his minions. He was becoming increasingly sure this was the right place, but it was balanced out by the worry that none of them had made it here yet. Giovanni hoped that he was just early, and that there wasn’t some terrible reason that they were all late.

“Stop!”

Huh?

“Please, stop it!”

Giovanni heard a voice. It was a far away voice, echoing distantly off the walls of the nearby alley. Most people probably wouldn’t have heard it at all over the sound of the waves, but Giovanni was on edge. What’s more, it was a sound that he recognized. A voice he recognized. From a person he recognized.

“Oh, no.” With growing fear in his heart, Giovanni sprinted into the indigo shadow of an alleyway, where the sound had originated from.

---

Giovanni had given all of his minions code names- names that made them feel cool, and names that stuck as nicknames. Most of them were pretty sure it was the only real way he could remember their names properly, except for Ben.

Spike was looking forward to meeting her friends at the park. So excited, in fact, that she had decided to take a shortcut to try and meet Giovanni first. She had never walked to the park alone before, but she figured the fastest way there was to take a direct route- going through every alleyway she could find. Easy!

Spike’s straight hair swayed a bit in the wind, and her beanie stayed squarely on her head. Despite being a little girl, her dyed hair and casual outfit blended in pretty well with the deep purples of the dirty alley. The decorative chains she wears on her wrists jingle like little bells as she walks. She looked like a territorial kitten, potentially fierce, but small and alone.

It wasn’t long before she ran into trouble. “Hey…kid.”

“Whuh?” Spike spun around, answering with the caution of a girl who’s gotten into one too many fights. 

“That’s a nice-lookin’ bag you got there.” the man says, and Spike looks at her bag. It’s not fancy or designer or anything, but it’s one she’s customized with stitches that she’s pretty proud of. Not only that, but it has inside of it something important…Spike grips the bag tighter in trepidation.

“Heh, thanks.” Spike smiles nervously, looking the man over. “I like you, er…vibes.” she lands on, not liking the overall look of how the punk carried himself. He was clearly just some guy looking for some easy cash, probably got laid off of some job he hated some time ago.

“Looks expensive.”

“It’s not.” Spike says, backing away more. “G-goodbye.” she says, trying to get away, but the man slid in front of her, blocking her exit.

“Wonderin’ where I might find a bag as nice as that one.” He grins lopsidedly.

“Thrift shop,” Spike answers offhandedly and honestly. “Maybe you should go off and look for one. Think I saw one just down the road.”

“Bag as nice as that one? Nah, I doubt that.” He starts to come closer.

“Well, hey, ya never know. Maybe you could go to the dump and dig around there for a few hours.” Spike backs up, spitting back words like a girl who didn’t know how or when to shut up.

“Actually,” the man said, his crooked smile widening, I was thinkin’ it’d be easier to just take this one.”

Spike grips her bag tighter in fear. “Fine. Just…just let me get my things out of it, first.” she pleads.

“Nah, I don’t think so.” the silver flick of a switchblade appeared in the mugger’s hand. He closed the distance, and loomed over Spike as though he was three times his height. “Like you said, thrift shop down the road might like a bag like that…and I’d get even more for anything inside.”

A more simple-minded child would have tried to follow the rules set forth in the school’s VHS types. Someone like Spike who lives in this part of town, just started to scream.

---

Crusher was carrying a plate of snacks with him that he helped his Mom make for him and his friends. He’s a kid who hit his growth spurt a bit early, and already the school is pushing him toward a curriculum of sports. Though honestly, the only reason he’s considering football is to be a better ‘heavy’ for Giovanni’s ideas. He always seems to like the idea of a big bruiser, and the romanticized idea of a henchman has gotten to Crusher in more ways than one.

However, as he was passing an alleyway, he heard a shriek. Turning, he saw a scene that left him full of dread. Spike, one of his best friends, was being whipped back and forth through the air by some scraggly-looking mugger- granted, it looked like he was trying to shake the vicious girl off of his arm , but the point stood that Spike was in danger!

“Let go of my damn arm, kid!” barked the man, flailing his arm around like a dog with a chew toy.

“Fuck off!” Spike snaps angrily, shouting a curse word she picked up from growing up in this town.

“Rrgh! If I tear the bag, I can’t sell it…” the man brandishes the knife again and held it close to the girl’s neck. “Is this bag really worth your life?”

“I don’t give two shits about my bag, but you ain’t getting my stuff!” Spike snaps, and her eyes widen as she realizes she may have said too much.

“Oh? Somethin’ valuable?” the mugger’s grin returns.

“It ain’t yours!” Spike growls and bites the man’s hand as he’s momentarily distracted, and he screams out in pain as her weird fang teeth dig into his hand like a shark digs into its prey. The pain causes him to let go, and Spike lands on the ground, groaning in pain.

“You little shit-!” the man turns to her, his knife-hand now wounded and covered in blood, as suddenly, someone imposes between them.

“Leave her alone!” Crusher says, having gently placed the plate down on the edge of the alley before jumping in to protect his teammate. 

“Crusher?” Spike mutters in surprise. 

Meanwhile, as the bag hits the ground, Spike’s bag overturned in midair, and several things clambered out of it. It wasn’t the bright pieces of girly jewelry the mugger had been hoping for, however- no, these were made with cheap materials and things that could be found around a junkyard. As they clatter to the ground, most of them crack or entirely break.

“No!” Spike exclaims, looking devastated. “You jerk ! Now it’s all ruined!”

“Wha…what is this?” the mugger blinked.

“I spent the last month trying to make enough bling for me and my friends! Do you know how hard it is to make cool stuff when you’re eleven?! It’s really hard !”

“What the hell are you talking about?” the Mugger growls.

“It’s the worst! I’ve been all this time trying to make something cool enough for all of us, and now all that work is down the drain because of you! ” Spike snarls.

“You were making us jewelry?” Crusher asks, genuinely surprised at the notion.

“SHUT UP! That’s not important!” Spike scolds him.

“Geez, Spike, just be glad that you’re okay!” Crusher insists.

“Oh, you’re far from okay,” the Mugger snarled. She gestured towards the upturned bag, which was now sitting stained in an alleyway puddle. “You just cost me full price on that new backpack! And you aren’t leaving until someone covers the difference.”

“Back off, freak!” Spike growls. “Or I’ll take your hand off this time!” She spits out some of the blood still in her mouth from biting him.

“Spike, get away!” Crusher pushes the small girl behind him, and the Mugger advances on them.

“Hey. Back off.” A new voice spoke from somewhere, young but strangely gravelly for his age, as though he inherited the smoker’s lung of both parents without the drawbacks. 

“Huh?” The Mugger checked behind him. A third child stood at the entrance to the alleyway. This one was even smaller than the other two, as though he’s lacked any growth spurt needed for years, more like a demented garden gnome than a real person. But there was something determined about him…

“Oh, great. Another one?” The Mugger rolls his eyes, flinging his body around like a wet sock to the newcomer. “Get outta here, kid. You’re interrupting business. Scram, if you know what’s good for ya.” He declares, flashing his switchblade as a warning.

“Foolish man. It is you who should be running!” the young man laughs. The Mugger squinted- the boy had red hair that looked unwashed but unkempt, yet affixed in a way that looked like it was styled to be unkempt. “You seem pretty confident…guess that means this is your stomping grounds, right? Too bad…guess that means you don’t know about me . The Protege of the great Molly Blyndeff !”

Normally, a name like cutesy would make someone turn and laugh. However, amid the criminal underworld of Sweet Jazz City, the only ones who seemed unaware of the name were the Banzai Blasters themselves. She’s an infamous crook who is said to have been trained by the Roughouse family themselves. Some people were starting to think she was an Urban Legend- until she resurfaced and performed the first and only robbery of the Sweet Jazz Museum with cutting success.

Rumor has it that she was indestructible. That she once got her face slashed open in a fight, but she fought forward like it was nothing, before she completely recovered from it a week later, with not even a scar remaining. Another story declares that the first and only time she landed in jail was when she bombed the STEM building unprovoked. Her claws could cut through anything, and her epithet could turn you into her devoted slave if you pissed her off.

But those were just rumors! Stories that thugs told to their little thuglings at night to scare ‘em crooked! A backstreet boogeyman! She wasn’t real , this recent robbery was just some copycat in the Banzai Blasters. The Mugger growled and spat.

“Yeah, sure, kid. You expect me to believe the biggest legend in crime is accepting some punk ?” The man smirks. “What I hear, she works alone! She ain’t got some kid sidekick!”

“News to me.” the boy grins and giggles in a way that sounds like it’s supposed to be an evil chuckle. The Mugger felt like he was being watched. He reflexively checked behind him, seeing his two marks against an alley wall, the young man seeming to be panicked on his phone. It didn’t matter- he would be gone before any cops could arrive in this part of town.

“What’s it to you, huh?” the Mugger turns to the boy. “They your friends or something?”

“Oh, not just my friends.” the boy says, his smile never ceasing as fog began to drift into the alley. What was weird, though, is that this fog was red. The Mugger was unnerved, even more so as he saw more kids gathering around from outside the alleyway- four more.

“I admit, I’m a bit new to the scene.” The young man steps forward, his friends standing back as they all become silhouetted in the fog. “But she saw promise in me. She saw my Epithet, so she taught me how to use it. The last guys that tried to fight me?” he smirks. “They didn’t walk away.” (Which was technically the truth, they were dragged away by the cops)

The Mugger tried to shake the discomfort off, but it was getting to be too much. The weird fog around them, the creepy kids that covered his only escape, and the implication of such a horribly dangerous person being linked to this kid made the Mugger begin to fear. The child continued to close in on him, and the fog got thicker. The Mugger had no clue what this fog was about, but soon all he could make out of the people around him were shadows. 

“S-stay back!” The Mugger cried. “I…I have an Epithet?”

If someone ever threatened you on the street, the best thing to do was to pretend you had an epithet, especially if you were a mundie. It was common knowledge, even Ztreet Smartz mentioned it. An epithet was a wild card in any battle. The word alone was often enough to throw an assailant off their rhythm…but not this time. The boy didn’t hesitate for a second, as far as the Mugger could see.

“Good.” his voice carried through the alleyway. “Fighting other Epithets is good practice.” The boy held his hands forward, and even through the fog, the Mugger could see two roiling balls of liquid begin to materialize above his hands, boiling like water. “When she saw my Epithet, she realized how talented I could be. She took me under her wing, and taught me so much in just one day. Things that you…” In an instant, the shadow vanished, and the man looked around in fear, before realizing the boy had somehow teleported behind him. “Couldn’t even imagine. That’s why she enjoyed teaching how to be my Epithet.” he giggles again. “Taught me how to use Viscera .”

At the mention of such a terrible word, the Mugger believed that those boiling orbs could be nothing other than blood. Where did it come from? No idea. The point is, if this kid had control over blood , he was in real danger.

“Y-you’re just a kid! You think you can beat me before I drive a knife in you? Any of you? ” The Mugger challenges. This made the silhouette stop advancing, and the Mugger grins triumphantly, but a new voice came from behind them.

“You think he’s alone?” one of the other kids says. He can’t make out any features, but it sounds like a boy. “All we have to do is hold you down…all of us.” the boy looks up, and following his gaze, the Mugger’s face paled in fear.

Above him, crowding the fire escapes and ladders that scale the alleyway, are dozens of more child-sized silhouettes, staring from the fog with beady little eyes, like something from a horror movie.

It was hardly half a second before the Mugger began to run. Running past the kids at the entrance, he ran with fear, screaming in fear and ragdolling through the streets much to the confusion of nearby pedestrians. That mugger wouldn’t return to this part of town for years, and he’d never venture into that particular alleyway ever again.

Giovanni watched after him as the attacker’s footsteps faded into the distance. Dead silence was all that remained. Once they were sure that he was gone, the kids all sighed in relief, the fog instantly dispersing as the two orbs of soup Giovanni conjured splattered to the ground, and one of the kids at the entrance nearly collapsed in exhaustion, with every kid above them vanishing.

Giovanni Potage’s epithet was not Viscera.

Giovanni Potage had never been in a real fight without serious backup from other powerful inscribed.

Giovanni Potage breathed deeply, running to Darkstar to give him some water.

“What were you thinking?!” Giovanni exclaims. “I’ve never seen you use Binary to make more than two of you at once!”

“He was gonna stab you!” Darkstar retorts, and the two begin to argue about the proper conduct of lying to a threat.

Giovanni hadn’t lied to the Mugger about knowing Molly Blyndeff, not exactly . Well, kinda. The person he knew as ‘Mama Bear’ didn’t exactly take him on as a Protege, but she did see potential in him, she did teach him how to use his Epithet better in just one night, and she told him that they’d see each other again. In Giovanni’s mind, that meant he was already on the road to being a perfect sidekick! Right now, though, he was crying.

“You guys shouldn’t have come closer, I had it handled!” he whined. “You guys shouldn’t have to help!” His whining was interrupted by a massive hug from all of his minions.

“Come on, boss!” Flamethrower smiles. “We couldn’t just stand by, not after Crusher texted us!”

“You saved us, boss!” Spike exclaims, tears streaming both her and Crusher’s faces. “And Molly, too. You guys are so brave!”

The kids all hug and cry together, and Vincent smiles to himself as he’s hugged. He was safe, his friends were safe, they were all safe. He hugged all his friends back as best as he could. The seven kids held each other in a ball and wailed together,r alone in the alleyway.

Giovanni had formed their little troupe from the only kids in school willing to be his friends. He called them his minions, but just a few hours into knowing Giovanni will make you realize it’s perhaps the highest praise he can give someone. They were Giovanni’s best friends. And he loved them all more than anything else in the whole, wide world.

Chapter Text

The hour? Four in the afternoon. The special hour. So special that the shows airing on TV around this time were called “four o’clock specials.” Shows like Ztreetz Smartz for Kidz.

The place? Headquarters! Or well, the best thing that could be headquarters, being the pool shack in the Fleecity yard.

The mood? Solemn. A group of small-time delinquents was gathered around the plastic pop-up table that was what Molly usually used for laying out maps and complex plans. Today, however, it was as empty as the day it was dragged in here. They each wore their civilian clothes and hung their heads in sorrow. Today was a dark day indeed. They had lost their hope. Their beacon of light. Their leader.

“Friends…” the woman addressed them. Molly was standing at the end of the table, turning towards them as the television behind her continued to portray the police’s lack of leads on finding her. The glow of the tv shone around her like a hole, and around her neck was hanging the golden chain of the Arsene Amulet, a mystic amulet she had taken just a week prior, that she had been practicing with. It allowed one to steal any Epithet she desired, and currently contains four that are not her own. She once gave two of them to two of her minions, but took them back for a reason she has yet to share with them.

“I see you all got my message. You already know what I’m going to say…but some messages are simply too important to me conveyed by emoticons and Dollface’s gifs.” She chuckles. “As of today, the Banzai Blasters are dead to me, and I am leaving them.”

The lot of their heads sunk lower. They all knew that this was coming. Just one week ago they had pulled off their first big job: a museum heist. It hadn’t all gone according to plan, but they got away with the greatest treasure of all- the amulet that now hangs around their leader’s neck. Molly had traveled into a seedy town in the middle of the woods to get it appraised, and then double-cross the Banzai Blaster leaders. However, she came out of the experience with the notion that the Banzai Blasters were more trouble than they were worth. Molly was hoping that the Banzai Blasters were a way for passionate youths to channel their energy into something positive, like Crime! Or, well, she was planning to make it more akin to that once she was at the top. However, upon learning that nearly every higher-up in the organization of each branch seems to share the Barons’ mentality, she decided that it would be way too much effort to kick nearly every Banzai to the curb, and instead has elected to go a different direction.

She was planning on announcing her ‘retirement’ in person by telling the group chat of her and her minions that they needed to talk, but then ‘Bo Peep’ proceeded to spill paragraphs of text about Molly’s decision to leave. Dollface had reacted with a gif of a cartoon dog’s jaw hitting the floor. The rest of the minions protested fiercely.

She was becoming a legend- Molly was a wanted woman now, moreso than before! That was a big deal for a Banzai Blaster! The police usually ignored the low-ranking Banzai Blasters and Banzai Captains because their crimes were so petty, they simply weren’t worth the time it took to deal with them, but Molly was a bonafide criminal now! He was on the lam. The police staked out anywhere that had even a rumor of a sighting! They even increased the security around Sweet Jazz Asylum for the Mentally Unsound Inscribed (or SJAMUI, for reasons no one’s sure why anyone would want to appreciate), because Molly once lived there for a short time before her own sister wound up there for reasons both related and unrelated. All of this was her chance to climb even further up the Banzai Ranks! Molly retorted that he wasn’t interested in getting a promotion from a bunch of jerks like the Banzai Blasters. Becoming famous wasn’t worth the cost.

“But hey, there’s no need to worry!” Molly grins. “I haven’t forsaken you. Far from it! Nor have my plans slowed down. Because now…” her amulet glows, her eyes shining an oil slick of colors. “I shall be creating my own villainous faction! And you are all invited.”

“What’s it called?” Glasses asked.

“Lotus,” Molly answers. “I felt it was an appropriate name.”

“What does it do?” Witch asked.

“We’ll be performing organized crimes, primarily targeting those that show prejudice against Mundies or Inscribed. Of course, that all comes after my job is complete.” She chuckles.

“How are you gonna get funding?” Dollface asked.

“Ooh! Am I the answer to that one?” Bo Peep asks excitedly.

“The Fleecities and the Roughouses have both decided to partially fund my efforts. Though, I’ve already got a list of banks that refuse to hire mundies in mind.” Molly chuckles darkly. “So!” she clapped her hands together. “Are you in?”

The minions leapt to their feet and cheered. There was never any question! The Banzai Blasters organization was an openly malicious, baldfaced pyramid scheme that preyed on teens going through a rebellious phase and disenfranchised divorcees going through their mid-life crisis. People mostly joined the Banzai Blasters just so they could say that they were a part of something. The minions were all the same when they joined. A gaggle of directionless jerks trying to find something, anything in life to get excited about. They had expected to spray paint a few walls. Steal some bikes. Littering. Loitering. Lil’ bit of lootering. But that was about it! And that’s probably what would’ve happened if they hadn’t been placed in the same squad as Molly Blyndeff, and the two young women that joined alongside her. Molly wasn’t their leader at first. In fact, the management hadn’t assigned them a leader at all. The upper ranks of the Banzai Blasters only cared about making money, which meant that all of their attention was spent on newbies who looked like their continued monthly membership might turn a profit. Captains and higher-ranking members were only assigned to recruits with a lot of promise. Apparently, Molly’s gang didn’t make the cut.

The rest of them made fun of Molly at first (even with Witch’s numerous glares). She insisted that her Banzai nickname be “Honeypot,” but instead the group settled on “Mama Bear” to mock her for her naturally doting and motherly nature…even if some of them liked the attention.

Whenever the group was in danger of settling into that “standing around in a parking lot and doing nothing” flavor of teenage boredom typical of a Banzai Blaster squad, Molly would light a fire under them. She came up with schemes, gave them goals to work towards. Midnight snack runs to the gas station turned into elaborate heists. They had show-and-tell nights where they would see who could steal and present the strangest item. Winners got star stickers. One time, they snuck into a convenience store and replaced all of the gas station hot dogs with cattails from a nearby pond. It was undeniably stupid. But it was fun, and it gave them stories to tell. And that was all they really wanted. Plus, they never got caught with Molly’s epithet backing them up!

Molly had so many ideas for things to do that following her plans became second nature. Glasses jokingly called her “Boss” and the title stuck. In time, the minions had fallen in love with their charismatic lover of a leader (two of them quite literally).  These kids weren’t loyal to the

organization, they were loyal to Molly. And they would follow him to the ends of the earth.

“Alright, then!” Molly chuckles. She slammed her hand on the table with a triumphant grin. “We’re a team again. And now, we’ve already got our first mission. It’s got two phases. Behold!”

The group grinned back and forth at each other. Mollu spread a hand-drawn blueprint across the table. “This mission is scheduled…for THIS FRIDAY!” The cheering stopped. “...what’s wrong?”

“Uh…this Friday as in… this Friday, this Friday?” Stink asked.

“Yes, this Friday, this Friday. Why?” Molly asked.

“Can we move it?” Stink suggests.

“ No , we cannot move it! This mission is time-sensitive, and Friday is our only opening! We won’t get another chance like this for months, maybe years !” She exclaims.

“Er, but…Friday is the mathletes finals.” Glasses frowns. “My team kinda needs me there…”

Molly found herself surprised at herself. She knew that . They’d all bought tickets. How could she have forgotten…? As the Arsene Amulet glitters an oily sheen, she takes a deep breath.

“I…I’m sorry. Okay, new plan. The plan still goes on, but someone needs to stay behind to film the finals so I can watch them later, and Glasses is excused to proceed with it.” Molly suggests.

“I can do that!” Stink says. “I attend all of their practices and other competitions, anyway.”

“Yes, good, good.” Molly says, putting her hands together not unlike a certain glass-eyed woman did when she wore the amulet. “As for the rest of you! We need transport. We can’t risk using one of Phoenica’s cars again, so Skull, how about you?”

“I’d love to, boss,” said Skull, speaking from a cell phone they had propped up on a table on an old pizza box, “But after a little bar fight, my parents grounded me for the rest of my foreseeable life.”

“Bummer.” Molly sighs. “Dollface, you have your license, don’t you?”

“I’d have to ask my parents first…” said Dollface. Everyone collectively groaned. Ugh , Dollface’s parents.

“Forget it,” Molly says. “They look too much into anything. It’d be weeks before we could get your car. What about the rest of you?”

“Sorry, Molls, but I gotta sit this one out.” Witch admits sadly. “Family’s planning a ‘bonding exercise’.” For Trixie’s family, that means a crime spree until all but one of them pass out from exhaustion. “Besides, they finally tracked down that gingersnap that mugged Pheenie last year.” She punched her leather-studded fist into her hand and cracked her knuckles so hard it sounded like shattering ice.

“Okay, that’s acceptable,” Molly said. “Because as we all know…” She raised her hands like a conductor. “No matter what any corny four-o’clock-special like Ztreet Zmartz tries to tell you…”

“Revenge is actually awesome,” the minions chorused.

“. . . actually awesome.” Skull echoed, delayed by chat latency.

“Pheenie, you in?” Molly asks her other girlfriend.

“Always!” the young woman says with the enthusiasm of an RPG Protagonist’s love interest.

“Perfect. The first phase of my plan requires some cooking, and I’ll be busy. Has your baking improved?” Molly asked.

“Yes! As of last month, I can make cereal !” the young lady puffs out her chest triumphantly.

“Provided it comes in a box.” Witch finishes.

“Right…well, all the same, I think I’ll have to stay home for this one.” Molly says.

“Okay! I’ll keep the poolhouse warm for you, honey!” Phoenica salutes.

“So, that just leaves…” Molly looks across her minions. “Nobody.” she sighs. “It’s fine! Go about your business. For now, your first order of business if to come up with new names for yourselves. We don’t want to be linked to the blasters in any way.”

Molly’s angels began excitedly chatting amongst themselves and shooting ideas back and forth for their new names. Their leader turned dramatically towards the entrance of the poolhouse and gazed out past the yard, as the suburban landscape beyond.

“This will be more difficult than I thought,” she mumbled, but smiled. “But there’s still a chance, after all.” Her eyes glisten as they lock onto a single building. “I still have one person to ask .”

Chapter Text

A thunderous cry echoed across the clinical walls of the Sweet Jazz Asylum for the Mentally Unsound Inscribed (or SJAMUI). Throughout the Asylum, the inscribed patients are all fitted with eraser cuffs, and the cries are quite regular from the pained cries and nightmares of the mentally unsound. All patients are fitted with cuffs…except for one.

If an epithet is deemed “harmless”, eraser cuffs are not needed. After all, this isn’t a prison, it’s an asylum - the patients here are given methods to try and control their powers, to curb them. Currently, though, only one patient has no eraser cuffs because his powers don’t work properly right now. The man was fingerpainting upon a canvas on an easel, using only the black ink that seeped from his fingertips like the ink sac of an octopus with a cold. His painting depicted a twisted landscape of thorny bushes, saltwater brooks, and glorious beaches, all in black and white! Looming over it all was a tower, rising ten- no, no, a hundred stories high! Yes, yes, that will do just fine. Peals of white lightning crisscrossed across the clouds like a spider’s web. He did not populate his fictional land with creatures, no, that would come later. It was a land he would fill with friends one day.

The painter was a lone splash of color in this sea of white in the asylum. The patient outfits given are pure white, but this particular patient had created enough ink to permanently stain every change of his clothes. They were covered in splotches of black, nearly completely ink-colored, except for a single heart-shaped spot of white over his right breast (the wrong side).

“Finally…my masterpiece, completed.” the man smiles. “Yet another piece of art accomplished.”

“I presume you are Rick Shades?” a voice asks behind him. The man turns, seeing the man he knows to be Doctor Sylvester Ashling, one of the highest-ranking members of the institute, and the reason its success rate is so high. He wears a white lab coat with green highlights, and has a quaff or orange hair and orange-rimmed spectacles.

“Doctor Ashling!” the man dramatically bows. “You presume correctly! To what do I owe the pleasure?”

The Doctor stares past the man, staring at the ominous scene he had elected to paint. “How long has it been since your Epithet stopped working?” The Doctor asks.

“I believe it was not long after your rough little officers slapped the eraser cuffs on me!” he chuckles. “Sure, you all took them off, but the damage was done! The pact was broken. No more Soulmates .” he sighs.

“But you still produce ink. So your epithet still has the potential to work…” Sylvester reasons.

“A reasonable assumption.” Rick taps his chin. “Why so curious after so many years, good Doctor?”

“I need you to tell me where I can find Molly Blyndeff.” Sylvester orders, and Rick begins to giggle.

“Oh! I haven’t heard that name in a while. But, no, I won’t be doing that.” Rick shakes his head, and dramatically turns his back to Sylvie. “I could never betray my dear friend like that!”

“Look around you, Rick Shades.” Sylvester pleads. “If you were friends, she would have gotten you out by now.”

“Maybe.” Rick says, then turns to look at Sylvester, a dark glint within his lighthouse eyes. “Or maybe something’s happened. Something that makes you afraid that she will be coming for me.”

“I’m willing to draw the information out of you myself.” Sylvester holds up his yoyo.

Rick’s smile widens. “I’ve heard rumors, you know.” Rick walks to one of his other finished portraits, one of them depicting a beautiful amulet in the hands of a little girl. “She has it, doesn’t she? After all this time?” Sylvester is quiet, but it’s enough to make Rick Shades stand to his full unnatural height and laugh, lightning crackling from within him!

“Enough!” Sylvester hits Rick with the yoyo, and the man passes out, fast asleep from the impact. “Ugh…” Sylvester grips his chest, feeling his severely diminished power. “Get him back to his room. I want shifts around him doubled,” he orders.

---

Several hours later, Rick Shades smiles as he looks over his mail. Among them was a letter from the Fleecity estate, his dear friend. Opening it, his eyes lit up and he giggled in glee, lightning coursing along his fingertips as the ink begins to drip. He signs his name alongside Molly’s, and his white heart glows as already, new power begins to flow into him.

“The pact is sealed.” Rick Shades says and begins to laugh. It’s a loud, echoing, terrible laugh…but it goes unnoticed compared to every cry and scream in the rest of the building.

She makes everything so much better.

Chapter Text

A thunderous roar echoed across a blood-red sky. Otherworldly pink clouds exploded into mist as the shockwave of sound tore through them. Peals of white lightning crisscrossed the heavens like spiderwebs, familiar yet not. Then…a massive figure rose in front of the sun . . . A colossal, reptilian monster, standing no less than one hundred stories tall!

Nothing ran from the creature. This was a dead land, silent and black. The plants and animals had burned away long ago. Nothing left now but the harsh stone of scorched earth, jagged and obsidian. A forest of petrified spires that might’ve once been trees stretched out towards the sky like hands reaching for salvation, crying out for some last, futile chance at mercy. Perhaps, today, their calls would finally be answered.

A lone figure strode through the iron forest. A knight, covered head to toe in a suit of perfectly polished silver armor with a sword to match at her side. Her outfit practically glowed against the black velvet landscape. Each clink of her metal boots resonated like a melody in this songless land. She put a hand on the hilt of her blade and called to the creature.

“At last . . .” she said. “After all these years, my crusade has finally ended.”

“ THAT VOICE... ” Something spoke. From everywhere and nowhere at once. A voice so deep and ancient that it seemed the very earth itself was speaking with her. The monstrous pillar that blocked out the sky rotated until a single, blood-red eye appeared, shining down on her with hatred. “ YOU...YES...I REMEMBER YOU. THE ‘RABBIT KNIGHT’, WAS IT? ” The thing laughed. A horrid, reeking, guttural laugh, like a rancid cauldron about to boil over. “ HAVE YOU COME TO AVENGE YOUR TINY VILLAGE? TO ‘SLAY’ ME? ”

“I have.”

“ HAH! MANY BEFORE YOU HAVE TRIED . . . AND ALL HAVE MET THEIR FATE BETWEEN MY FANGS AND MY FLAME...YOU SHALL BE NO DIFFERENT. ”

“Not so, Dragon,” the Knight said. “For I have grown strong in the many years since we last met. I have traveled far. I’ve gained the king’s favor. I have single-handedly made my way through these Scorched Lands. And I have brought with me...the Sword of the Eclipse.” The Knight drew her blade, slowly and with purpose. The moment the hilt left the scabbard a bright light radiated from the sword. It was unspeakably beautiful. The weapon was split in two colors down the length of the fuller: one half as white as pure snow and the other a black so deep it seemed like a hole in the air. She leveled the sword at the Dragon.

“ HAH HAH HAH...IT HAS BEEN MANY YEARS SINCE I LAST LAID EYE UPON THAT BLADE. BUT...FOOLISH RABBIT...THOU MUST KNOW THE LEGEND? THE SWORD OF THE ECLIPSE IS USELESS IN THE HANDS OF A MERE MORTAL. TO STRIKE A FOE WITH IT IS TO CAST AWAY ONE’S OWN LIFE! NO...THE SWORD’S TRUE POWER CAN ONLY BE WIELDED BY A LUNARIAN...A DWELLER OF THE MOON...AND THEY WERE WIPED OUT CENTURIES AGO...I SAW TO IT MYSELF... ”

The knight smiled.

“...Not all of them.”

Suddenly, she cried out! A cry of power! Peals of brilliant moonbeams shot out from the slits in her visor, spearing into the dark landscape. Everywhere the moonlight touched, flowers bloomed. Grass grew a bright vibrant green, as if to defy the dead land around it. The knight’s aura flared around her body, adding a second protective layer on top of her armor. The aura extended beyond her head and two long appendages wisped past the edge of her helmet, forming a pair of majestic rabbit ears.

“My father may be the one who taught me how to wield a sword, but THIS! This is the gift my mother bestowed upon me! My mother’s secret bloodline technique! That’s right...I am... half Lunarian !”

“ AN ECLIPSE LUNARIAN!? ” the Dragon recoiled! “ NO! IT CANNOT BE! IMPOSSIBLE!!! THEY ARE BUT LEGENDS! NOTHING MORE THAN A MYTH! ”

“They will say the same of you once you have been slain! Now come, beast! Come and face your demise!” The knight held her shining sword at the ready.

“ NO...THE PROPHECY! COULD IT REALLY BE TRUE?! ”

“I see fear in your remaining eye, Dragon!” The Knight grinned. “What’s wrong? Does it remember? Does the sight of my sword remind you of that day? When my mother stole your other eye before you killed her!?”

“ SILENCE, GIRL!!! I WILL NOT DIE! NOT HERE! NOT NOW! NOT EVER!!! ” With titanic force, the Dragon swung its enormous body down to glare at the girl face-to-face. No longer silhouetted by the light of the pink sun, its horrendous form was plain to see. Its left eye had long since burned out, but the right seared with red fury. A single coal in an ancient hearth, crimson and hellish. One last ember that hinted at the roiling fire deep inside the monster, the fire that had turned what was once a paradise into these Scorched Lands. The fire that had robbed so many of their families and their lives. The fire that all in this world knew to fear!

The fire of the dreaded S’more Dragon of the Scorched Lands! Horrid to look upon! Awful to taste! Any sweetness that it once had burned away long ago in the bonfire of its belly. Now it sneered out at the world with hatred from underneath a crusty, ashen armor. Its chocolate scales, once tempered and shining, were now dull, dotted with white fat bloom like lichen on a dead tree. The cracks between its scales pulsed and glowed like a lava flow and smoke poured from its mile-long spine like a steampunk skyline. The Dragon lowered its head and roared at the knight. Its graham cracker maw filled with horrible dripping marshmallow teeth that

morphed and melted as it spoke.

“ I WILL ROAST YOU...I WILL BURN YOU LIKE THE REST OF YOUR VILLAGE FOR YOUR INSOLENCE! ” It sneered and exhaled a burning hatred against her armor. The Dragon hoped that the girl was scared. It could not see her unfazed smile behind her visor. She had waited for this day for too long to be scared of anything anymore.

“Rejoice, Dragon. For I am merciful! And though you do not deserve it, I shall grant you kindness! I promise to end this in one blow!” The Rabbit Knight held her sword aloft and pointed it straight at his belly. However, she was not holding it by the hilt. She had lifted the blade by the pommel, the far end of the weapon. It was massively heavy, but she held it with ease. A testament to her unparalleled strength. The Dragon’s crusty eye squinted. This was no swordsman’s stance . . . No, the way the Rabbit Knight held her weapon was far too dainty. She outstretched her free hand into the empty air ahead of her.

“Secret Lunarian technique...”

The fingers on her free hand spun around in a flourish, and with a— snap! —a spark of iridescent light twinkled between her fingers. She brought her hand down in an arc and drew a brilliant rainbow through the air. She brought her arm behind her, then above, then all the way back to the front in a perfect circle, linking the ends of the rainbow together in a vibrant ring. The moment the circle was complete, the rainbow shimmered, solidifying from transparent color into an arc of solid light. She grabbed it with her free hand . . . and then drew the Sword of the Eclipse back towards her chest with the other. As she did, a second rainbow sprouted off of the ring and nocked itself into the pommel of the sword. She pulled it back like a drawstring on a bow! She wasn’t going to slash the Dragon with the sword . . . she was going to fire it like an arrow! The name of her attack rang out against the pink sky:

“Mochi Moonbow!!!”

“ THE MOCHI MOONBOW!? N-NO! THAT’S THE ULTIMATE MOVE!!! ”

“That’s right! This is the end, Dragon!” The knight grinned as her auralike rabbit ears flared with power. “This is for my village!”

“... orelai …”

“ NO! ” the Dragon cried, suddenly seeming much smaller than before. “ P-PLEASE! I DIDN’T MEAN IT! HAVE MERCY!!! ” It put its chocolate paws together in a pleading prayer, but the Knight could not be swayed! She pulled the drawstring.

“This is for all the lives you’ve stolen with your flames!!!”

“... Lorelai… ”

The sword was pulled back as far as it would go, but the Knight wasn’t done yet! Her aurasurged in a series of sparkling white flourishes, flares, and dancing crosshairs. She would put everything she had into this attack! The moonbow shook. It’s string quivered with enough power to launch a skyscraper! This would be the final blow!

“And THIS is for my family who you burned!!!”

“... Lorelai! ”

A nightmare claws into the fantasy. A gash in the Augment causes the Nightmare to come shooting through, coming face-to-face with the Rabbit Knight in a millisecond. A fist buries itself into her gut with a wrenching punch, and she coughed out in pain as her bow faltered.

…what?!

Something was wrong. This wasn’t part of the story. This wasn’t supposed to happen! The impact causes Lorelai to go throttling through the sky, landing on the barren ground as the Nightmare lands mere feet from her.

“Still playing the hero, huh? Well then…” the assailant pulls back her hood, revealing her hair and face that is all too familiar. “I guess it’s time for you to face your Lancer.”

“Molly…?” Lorelai backs up on the ground. “No, it can’t be you…”

“Why not?” Molly starts to walk towards her terrified sister. “Oh, I know. Maybe it’s because after I left, you skirted even more responsibilities and started spending more and more time in your Dream Bubbles!” Molly laughs. “Do you even know what year it is anymore?”

Lorelai stands up, hatred burning in her eyes. “UGH!” She groaned with her entire body. Her stately posture evaporated and the sparkling power dancing through her bow flickered away like a dying flashlight. “Figures…after all this time, you’re still whining !” The Mary Sue of her own story whines, not at all seeing the irony of the situation.

Lorelai Blyndeff. Molly’s freckle-faced older sister. Twenty-Four years old and an absolute brat. Her green eyes were almost like Molly’s, but just a little bit wrong. The younger sister had a quartet of dots in her iris arranged like holes in a button, while Lori’s trio of eye-dots danced in a triangle, bottomside-up—a radioactive warning label. Her hair was the color of burnt caramel, dotted with honeycomb highlights that came together in a trio of blonde locks sticking out from the front, combed back into rabbit ears.

“So, what do you want now? Come crawling back when you realized the real world sucks?” Lorelai mocks.

“You really are so unaware.” Molly shakes her head. “I’ve been busy, Lori. And now I’ve got…my own way to deal with you.” Claws emerge from both of Molly’s gauntlets, and she rushes for Lorelai! Lorelai raises her Eclipse blade, blocking the strike!

Lorelai grits her teeth. “So, it’s a fight you want? Well, it’s a fight you’ll get! Augment! ” she cries out.

Molly’s epithet could be used to make things quieter or to simplify them by “dumbing them down”. A volume dial to defend against sensory overload. Lorelai’s epithet, A ugment, was sensory overload incarnate. Where the younger sister could make things quiet, the older sister could make them louder. That said, Lori’s ability to manipulate noise wasn’t the problem. The real issue was her ability to augment reality.

Ever since she was little, Lori could make what she called “Dream Bubbles”. They were a sort of pocket dimension, and inside each one was an entire world where Lorelai could manifest whatever she wanted. High fantasy castles, carnivals, ice cream parlors, you name it. So long as she could dream it, she could create it, and little girls are very creative. That said, little girls can also be very stubborn. Her powers had caused no shortage of difficulty for her parents growing up. When Lorelai was upset she would lock herself away inside one of her dream bubbles for hours or even days at a time, and there wasn’t anything anyone could do about it. Her worlds looked as flimsy as soap bubble spheres from the outside, something you could pop with a finger, but in reality, their iridescent exterior was as hard as iron. When Lori was trapped in her own world, nobody could touch her.

Nobody except for Molly.

Molly’s ability was the antithesis of Lorelai’s. She could dumb down an idea until it no longer existed, and simplify an entire paragraph of description to nothing but an ellipsis. Everything in Lori’s world was created from nothing, and no matter how complicated she made her myths and magics and monsters or how much time she spent on them, Molly could erase them. Lori hated her for that. Molly never wanted to play along! Molly never cared about all the time Lorelai had spent designing things. She just came in to bother her. To yell at her. To make her do chores. To pick up a shift or help out at the counter because the store was busy. Her dumb little sister was absolutely no fun at all! And this was no different!

Her dad understood, though. He was proud of her creativity and encouraged it, taking ideas from her worlds to make new toys. He was always nice to Lorelai and didn’t mind if she took some time off. 

The battle raged on, Lorelai using her Epithet to conjure fiery minions from the deep volcanic landscape, turning the dragon on her sister.

“Take this!” Lorelai grins, pushing her back, and a blast of fire impacts Molly…but when the fire clears, Molly is gone.

“Wha…where did she-?!” 

“Behind you.” Molly has somehow wound up behind her- she was moving faster than she should. If she were more clever or perceptive, perhaps Lorelai would have noticed the “Expedited Checkout” coupon wrapped around Molly’s wrist.

But Lorelai Blyndeff was not clever. She’s a child, and she’s been a child for far too long. Molly grabs her sister by the neck and slams her into a dead tree. Lorelai didn’t even notice the way the necklace around Molly’s neck glowed, or the multicolored energy coursing from Lorelai up Molly’s arm, and into the amulet itself.

“You…rotten…urk!” Lorelai struggles helplessly in her stronger sister’s grip. “Help me!” She orders the creatures she made, but with her free hand, Molly snaps her fingers. In a burst of green powder, every little elemental fell apart.

“Not this time, Lorelai.” Molly throws her against the ground- only a smidgen of Augment remained in its true host, but Molly was not done. She walked towards her sister with venom in her heart and her mind.

“This…this is why he never liked you! You’re such a killjoy! This is why I’m the favorite!” Lorelai spits, and Molly stops walking. “You always act like you’re better than me!”

“I am better than you,” Molly says heartlessly. “And to prove it, I’m going to kill you with your own dream world.” she holds up her hand to the S’more dragon, beginning to cower, and a grin widens across her face as green and orange energy begins to swirl around the terrifying tyrannosaur.

“Nightmare Fuel.”

Chapter Text

The STEM building was the crown jewel in Sweet Jazz City’s multicolored skyline. A state-of-the-art research center towering sixty stories tall with glass windows polished so meticulously that a person could see one side of the building clear through to the other. “STEM” didn’t actually stand for anything. It was just a stylization. The company originally specialized in agriculture and it made a name for itself by developing strains of cold and refreshing fruits that could be grown in almost any climate, which was a valuable innovation in a country with so much sweltering heat.

The STEM building itself dedicated more than 70% of its floorspace to vertical farming and its massive indoor orchards yielded crops year-round. The company began rapidly expanding a few years back and in almost no time at all they had become a huge conglomerate. STEM seemed to have its hands in a little bit of everything: robotics, fashion, entertainment, civil planning, nanomachines, you name it. The STEM logo was popping up practically everywhere these days. This rapid growth was attributed to the sheer ambition of the company’s current CEO. She was famous for a silver tongue and is what some would call a “fast talker”- often getting people to agree to a contract before they even fully realize what they’re signing.

On top of that, the company had a unique hiring policy: They actually prioritized hiring mundies over inscribed. In most places, being inscribed was a huge benefit on a job application. After all, if you’re going to pick an intern to brew your coffee then you might as well hire the one who can levitate the cup with his mind. It’s neat! It’s cool! It’s irreplaceable! Better to be bad at your job than to be mundane!

This mentality was all too commonplace in the business world. But STEM was different. STEM believed it was important to cultivate all talents, not just inborn ones. The company made a habit of head-hunting the innovative and intelligent people that society had left behind in favor of their inscribed competition. In the current market, there were plenty of such people, and so the company flourished. This also meant that the company had excellent PR among mundie communities, which didn’t hurt their sales.

Of course, it's more than possible that the reason the company operated this way was that the CEO was a mundie herself ( despite her hyperactive nature). A valet was waiting for that CEO right now.

She stood in the sub-basement of the STEM building in an underground parking garage, leaning against a sleek-looking limousine and smoking a cigarette. She’d pulled the car around ten minutes ago for the usual weekly appointment, but her boss still wasn’t there. The valet exhaled a stream of smoke and stared at the set of elevators against the wall. One of those elevators—the one that required a key—went straight up to the CEO’s penthouse.

She’s probably popping champagne in her private pool or something and forgot what day it was , the valet thought, sighing smoke... Lucky jerk .

The valet hated this part of the job. It felt like a waste of time. She wasn’t even here to drive the woman anywhere. The CEO had her own private chauffeur for that. Because of course she did. No, all the valet was there to do was pull the car around. She rolled her eyes and groaned internally. She was going to miss out on her break at this rate...

About a minute later, the lights on the private elevator’s display clicked on.

60. 59. 58. 55. 51. 42. 30. 19. 5.

The numbers were going down fast. Too fast . Almost like the elevator was falling or something. The elevator hit “B3” with a somewhat audible thud and a crackle. For a moment the valet was worried that the cable had snapped or something, but the doors swung open, same as usual, and out skipped a woman.

“Come ON, slowpoke! We’re gonna be LATE!” The CEO herself trotted over to the limo, turning circles mid-hop to check if the slowpoke in question was following her. She was wearing the smart-looking, sterile white uniform typical of any STEM employee, along with several little braids and hair clips to hold her pink hair together.

Slowpoke, for his part, teetered out of the elevator on unsteady legs like he was seasick and had just fallen off a boat. The man wore an identical uniform, save for his driver’s cap over his hair and a pair of black sunglasses.

“C-coming . . .” he croaked. He wobbled towards the limo like a newborn deer. His face was deathly pale and he looked nearly ready to topple over. As he passed the valet he offered her a wave. “She apologizes for keeping you waiting.”

“Hurry up and get in!” The CEO commanded her chauffeur from the back seat. She reached into the front seat and slammed her hand on the car horn immediately. BEEP BEEP. “C’mon, Naven!”

“Yes, I’m coming, Yoomtah. Please stop honking the horn.” Naven Nuknuk pleads.

Yoomtah Zing. The valet had dropped the limo off a dozen times before, but no matter how many times she saw her, she just couldn’t help but be unimpressed by this woman. The CEO of a multinational conglomerate, world-renowned for being a major mover and shaker in the financial world. When people picture that kind of person in their head, they usually imagine a fat cat in a $5000 suit smoking a cigar from the top of a high-rise with a personal vending machine serving them drinks.

That image couldn’t be further from the truth (well, the cat part might be true). Yoomtah was a fair-skinned woman who looked like a teenage girl who browsed anime forums. When not in uniform, she still wore suits of some kind, often with a flamboyant hat of one kind of another. Not only that, but every other week, she dyes her hair a different color. She wears fingerless gloves and her outfit usually incorporates a large flower somewhere on her ensemble. Today, it’s on her belt. The sort of ensemble that an unmedicated nightmare on five different points of the spectrum at once might wear to a doomed first date. She had an unapologetic smirk on her face at all times, and her eyes were wide and brimming with enthusiasm at any point in time.

Tabloids often speculated about what the elusive CEO was really like. She was infamous for handling social functions, but rumors had risen that her Chauffer was playing secretary and dealing with all of her clients and business partners in 1-on-1 meetings to make sure business actually got done. The media treated her like some kind of ‘Femme Fatale’, but the trust was that the gal was just weird . Despite her sociable nature, she constantly holed herself up in her room, the only one she ever spent any real time with was her Chauffer/Secretary, who had been by her side since the beginning. He hardly spoke a word, was always soft-spoken, and seemed prone to headaches- in fact, whenever he got one, Yoomtah decided to drop everything no matter what and escort the both of them away, like he was the one in charge and not her. But despite all of that, he was meek, shy, and never took off his glasses.

The tabloids had noticed this as well.

They’d snapped a few pictures of the two of them together and collaged them onto a cover page. “STEM CEO: BUSINESSWOMAN AND…DOMESTIC ABUSER?!” It screamed in an accusatory yellow font. There wasn’t any concrete evidence to support a relationship like this besides the photos, but it was hard to prove there wasn’t something there either, so the public had latched onto it. As had some of STEM’s employees.

“Lucky bitch…” The Valet thought again, casting a sidelong glance at the chauffeur. “Figures the most outspoken girl gets the biggest pushover.”

“Seeya next week!” Yoomtah cries from inside the car as the Chauffer drives the limo out of the garage.

---

Yoomtah found Naven’s style of driving to be boring . She wished she could have a turn at the wheel for once, but as usual, she was left tapping her foot at the pace of an angry rabbit.

“Come on, faster, we’re already late!” She complains.

“You didn’t have to override the elevator.” Naven sighed.

“Sure, I did!” Yoomtah laughs, just the smallest hint of a spark dancing between her fangs. “You said yourself it’s important for me to attend these classes! That’s it’s too important for me to skip! So the only thing left to cut out is the transit time! Now, move it!” Yoomtah slams her hand on the seat, trailing sparks to hotwire the engine for her own benefit, pumping up the speed.

Naven had gotten used to her shenanigans regarding her secret epithet, and so he worked to avoid all in his way as he got them moving. Meanwhile, Yoomtah sighed as she laid back in her seat, enjoying the speed.

The reason she was running late today was because of the museum robbery last week. Her organization had several investments in that museum. The unexpected break-in had really thrown a wrench in things and now her subordinates were all scrambling to reschedule. She

couldn’t just leave them in the lurch like that…because Naven wouldn’t let her!

Yoomtah liked helping other people to a degree , but Naven’s the real brains behind STEM’s operation. It’s part of the reason she makes sure he gets the help he needs for his headaches- if Naven goes down, STEM goes down. All in all, though, Yoomtah was just as big a victim of empathy.

A few months back, she’d gone on an errand, and by the time she got home, she’d somehow agreed to start giving speech classes to a young man, the Mother of which she had literally just met. He needed help learning how to express himself, and that was her specialty! How could she not help? How could she say no when the woman asked if she could invite her son’s friends as well? The same part of her that wanted to help the mundies of the world made it impossible to turn her back on a couple mischievous tykes that wanted some advice. After all, it was so much like how they had met…

Yoomtah shakes her head. In any case, Naven had been the one to write up a lesson plan across multicolored pages and written in a way that she might actually follow it. Ever since she started, the students had come a long way, and were even showing potential!

“We’re here. On time, shockingly.” Naven says, interrupting Yoomtah’s thoughts.

The limousine had pulled up outside the SJAMUI building (she loved the name). She’d been holding lessons here to help the kids see what happens when you go down the wrong path in life, to an extent…but it hasn’t really done the expected. Oh, well!

“You sure you don’t want me to come?” Naven gives her a playful smile, knowing full well she doesn’t want him there. “I’m supposed to be your Bodyguard, after all.”

“Oh, please!” Yoomtah struts out of the limo. “What could possibly happen at a boring ol’ speech class?” She remarks, a grin crossing her face as she silently hopes so many things go wrong.

Chapter Text

With the encounter in the alleyway behind them, Giovanni and the Boys wore their broken gifts with pride and set off toward their original destination: the park! As the boss, Giovanni has two very important jobs:

1- Make sure everyone does their schoolwork so they don’t get grounded!

2- When they’re all together, have as much fun as possible!

Last night, there had been a great storm of wind through the park. Not quite a tornado, and it didn’t rain a drop, but it shook the trees something fierce. Therefore, Giovanni had a perfect task in mind. One where he would ensure each and every one of his minions has the mentality of thievery in mind…

“Today,” Giovanni says dramatically, “We are on Pinecone Duty! ” he declares, and his minions stare in awe at the pinecone he holds up as a visual aid. “This plan has three phases. One: We will gather every single pinecone that fell from the trees last night. Two: We will plant them in random places across the city. Three: We watch the devastation as nature overgrows Sweet Jazz City! ” Giovanni laughs at his maniacal plan, and the others cheer for him! Ever since Giovanni’s foray into the criminal underworld, he’s gained incredible clout among the school and his friends. Though, only Giovanni’s immedate friends are actually aware he tries breaking into the museum and got caught up in two other schemes to attack the museum.

It was a pretty big story on the news. The front page of the newspaper contained police record portraits on file of the two inscribed that were posing as Securty Personnel, as well as the Banzai Captain who Giovanni claimed he was now protege to. While the portraits were a sidebar, the main image on the front page was an artist’s depiction of the event, a caricature of what they thought the final confrontation was- Molly attacking with her minions, the two inscribed fighting while the woman wore the amulet, and the police surrounding them trying to stop it. Once people realized people don’t use newspapers anymore and reading is boring, they moved all of this to the news, which is how the children found out about the media’s version of events.

Giovanni wore the otherwise traumatic events like a badge of pride, and the moment he returned to school, he was swarmed with questions.

“What were the bad guys like?”

“Did they have any dangerous epithets?”

“Did anything explode!?”

Giovanni loved being the center of attention, and answered every question immediately and with utter enthusiasm.

“Totally awesome !”

“Heck yeah, they did! I’ve never seen battles that intense before!”

“HECK YEAH, IT DID!”

This all came to fruition when Giovanni claimed that the Banzai Captain that had gotten away with the magic amulet had actually taken Giovanni under her wing as some kind of “Evil Protege”. A lot of kids thought that part was a little crazy, but his Friends played along anyway. He had described her as a “Motherly and Unstoppable force of Pure Evil”. He boasted that he even figured out her Epithet, but didn’t give that up. Though, he did brag about her name as one of the biggest Urban Legends in Sweet Jazz City. Giovanni’s minions were also interested in the other girl that had helped Giovanni- some kind of kid cop who had a construction epithet. Ever since then, Giovanni had been planning for his new friend to be his two-faced informant in the police force, which his new friend was visibly less than excited about the prospect of.

Strangely, becoming an evil protege at the museum wasn’t the high point of Giovanni’s week. Evidently, a few days later he got a visit from his Mom’s extended family. Something happened that made him super excited, and now he’s as hyper as ever. Giovanni’s family was, at the end of the day, the best. Even with Giovanni’s disposition against even parental authority, he idolized certain members of his family for reasons the boys have yet to learn.

But none of that mattered right now! Giovanni had brought some secret weapons to the park today, and he grins wide as he produces them.

“I’ve got some prizes for those who do the best at certain categories of pinecone gathering. First up, whoever finds the weirdest-looking or shaped pinecone will receive this lip balm!” Giovanni holds up the lip balm proudly. Several minions oohed and clapped. Giovanni gave out prizes to his minions often, but it was always a nice surprise to see what he came up with as a prize- they always ranged from edible to useful, with a few being purely aesthetic.

“What flavor?” Ben calls out.

“ Grape flavor.” 

“Ooh, that’s pretty good.” the kids murmur amongst themselves. Grape was by far the best lip balm flavor for a bunch of twelve-year-olds. Giovanni held up his second prize, which he personally thought was the better of the two.

“We also have… this ! For the person who gets the most pinecones…a special, top-of-the-line, POTION !” Giovanni held up what looked like a glass vial with a swirling, dark liquid in it. The only label is a single piece of tape that had a skull and crossbones drawn in silver. The liquid itself appeared to be totally opaque and purple.

“What kinda soup is that ?” Flamethrower asked, and Giovanni snickered.

“Oh, my dear, foolish minion. This is no mere culinary masterpiece of my own creation! This was a gift from one of my cousins.” Giovanni’s cousins were people the rest of his gang had never met. He spoke highly of them, though, and they often gave him some of his favorite presents. “This potion,” Giovanni holds the serum proudly like he had picked it up in a video game. “Is made from grape jelly, pine needles, hot sauce, and the most evil ingredient of them all-” Giovanni leans forward, as though his minions weren’t the only ones listening. “ Ladybug Blood. ”

“Your cousins go around squishing Ladybugs?” Car Crash (who got his nickname because of how he and Giovanni met) asks with terror.

“What? No.” Giovanni frowns, horrified. “We’re not that evil. You just poke ‘em a little and they squirt blood on you.”

A small argument escalated between Giovanni and his boys on whether the fluid Ladybugs excreted was actually blood or not, with mixed results.

“Ugh, it doesn’t even matter whether it’s blood or not!” Giovanni says, exasperated. “What matters is that it works .” He grins triumphantly. “It’s a Potion of Fleeing ! It causes whoever you throw it on to run away in fear!” he laughs. “Anyway, I was gonna use it if my bluff against that mugger didn’t work, but I didn’t have to, so now it’s a reward!”

“I want the lip balm!” Spike announced, and the other minions agreed in suit.

“ WOW , okay. Fine! If you guys don’t want my family’s cool badass potions , that’s fine. More for me!” Giovanni shoves the potion back into his bag. “Anyways, the person who finds the weirdest-looking pine cone gets the lip balm. ThreetwooneGO!” Giovanni declares, spitting out the countdown in one breath and watched his minions sprint across the park. “YES! Go, my minions! Wreak your havoc on Sweet Jazz City Central Park! ” Giovanni laughs maniacally.

Giovanni’s Boys were scouring the park for any and all pinecones. Giovanni was filling a garbage bag with all the pinecones he could find, but the others were only really interested in the lip balm, so they took a much slower approach. Giovanni was a good judge of what was “weird”, so they would compare what they found with each other. If the pinecone was funny but not really weird , they’d toss it in their bags. Darkstar had found what looked like two pinecones that had grown into each other, putting him in the lead. Giovanni, meanwhile, was not looking at the pinecones he was loading his bag with. Spike and Crusher had found a single pinecone that looked like it must have been pretty small when it fell off, so it had grown a bit to now be stuck in a Beer Bottle. They decided to save it, deciding they would throw the bottle out after getting the pinecone out.

“Uh, guys?” Ben calls out, getting the attention of the other minions and Giovanni.

“Did ya find something weird?” Car Crash called back.

“...kinda.” Ben admits nervously.

The other minions, Giovanni leading them, went over to see what Ben had found. 

Ben had found a dead body.

Or at least, that’s what it appeared to be. The body was face-down in a mass of bushes, an afro of brown hair with a blonde streak the primary thing that literally stood out- Ben had come over because he thought the mass of hair might have been some weird ball of pinecones. On closer look though, this was definitely the body of a woman. The minions were panicking.

“Holy crap, holy crap, holy crap !” Giovanni paced nervously. “A-are you sure it’s dead?!”

“I dunno, man! I don’t know what a dead body looks like! I can’t exactly ask !” Ben retorts.

“What do we do?!” Crusher exclaims.

“Clearly, this situation requires a delicate touch.” Spike says. “As in we CUT IT APART LIKE A SURGEON AND HIDE THE BODY PARTS SO WE’RE NOT ACCUSED OF MURDER! ” Spike declares, showing she is no closer to sanity right now than the rest of her friends.

“I think maybe we should call the Police!” Car Crash suggests. “My aunt’s a lawyer!”

“Let’s not be too hasty!” Flamethrower says. “Maybe she’s got a wallet!”

The minions mumble in agreement, eager to commit a crime before reporting this body to the police, but none of them are particularly interested in getting closer to the body…none except for Giovanni. Giovanni picked up a nearby stick and lifted the edge of the body to inspect it. There were a large number of pinecones stuck all across her clothes and in her hair.

“Well, I did say weirdest,” Giovanni mumbles to himself, then drops the stick, slamming the body back onto the ground. “Congratulations, Ben! You win !”

“Do I get a cool nickname now?!” Ben exclaimed excitedly as he took the lip balm.

“Eh, sure, why not?” Giovanni considers. “Now, let’s see…”

Suddenly, the body sputtered to life like a weasel waking up, coughing loudly. A pinecone shot out of its windpipe and slammed against a tree. It shouted at them.

“Wugh-hu-BAH!” she coughed. “WIN?!”

All the children screamed. The body screamed back.

“A zombie!” shrieked Crusher. The body- the woman - flipped around to look behind herself.

“Wha! Where?! How?!” She threw her hand forward in an authoritative nature. Giovanni was the only one who noticed this but, just for a second, her eyes and palm glowed with the power of an Epithet. The light was dwindling, weak, and died before it left the palm. The woman looked at her palm in disbelief, speechless and confused.

“Hey, she’s not a zombie!” Spike interjects. “Too much skin!”

“Maybe she’s a vampire ,” Flamethrower suggests.

“Or a baby sasquatch!” Crusher proclaims.

“Wha- NO!” the woman complains. “Stop naming monsters!” She flourishes her clothes, shaking the pinecones out of her hair. “I’m the Hero !” she raises her hand, and the glow appears again, a soft glow encompassing her body…before it dwindles, and a plastic toy knife appears in her hand, conjured by an epithet. She looks down at her unchanged outfit and the knife in her hand in disbelief. “I was going for a sword…” she mumbles to herself.

The children stared at the woman. She was in her mid-twenties, which to a group of twelve-year-olds was the same as being in your late forties. The self-proclaimed ‘hero’ has a complexion like tree bark with freckles dotting her skin. She wore a white dress that might have looked beautiful once, but now it was torn to shreds by branches and brambles, and stained by grass and mud. It had highlights of lilac and bunny motifs across it, but it otherwise resembled a nightgown, or pajamas that were worn every night. The torn dress combined with the pinecone hair made her look like some kind of princess that just woke from an eternal slumber. The kids wouldn’t be at all surprised if they saw a little tiara in the bushes with her.

“Alright, what the heck?!” the woman exclaims, turning back towards the children. “What happened to my Epithet?! What…what…” she looks around, her eyes widening. “Where even am I ?”

“So…you say you’re a Hero? ” Giovanni asks, a mischievous glint in his eyes. His minions look on in worry, pretty sure Giovanni’s about to challenge a disoriented former dead body to an Epithet Battle.

“O-of course I’m the hero!” the woman tries to maintain her composure, still visibly shaken about her not-working powers. “Isn’t it obvious?” she wipes some mud off of her cheek.

“I see. Tell me, Hero , how many villains have you vanquished? Have you come to take on the Banzai Blasters?” Giovanni asks dramatically.

“I don’t know who those are.” the woman answers honestly, and Giovanni sputters.

“They’re only the biggest bad guy gang around! ” he scoffs, watching the woman eat some dirt and then spit it out. “What are you even doing?”

“Trying to figure out how I got here.” she frowns. “Hey, this is still Sweet Jazz City, right?”

“Uh, duh.” Giovanni nods. Giovanni has realized that this woman has no real idea where she is or why, which means she probably isn’t here because of the robbery. “So, big Hero, you got any… special powers ?” he asks.

She laughs haughtily. “Of course! My epithet can do anything !” she boasts.

“Anything?!” the crowd of kids exclaims.

“Wait, it’s not literally Anything , is it?” Giovanni asks.

“No!” the woman huffs. “My epithet is Augment . It allows me to create something from nothing.” she holds up her toy knife. “But for some reason, it’s…not working properly right now.” She turns back towards the kids. “Listen, kids, where in Sweet Jazz City am I?”

“Central park,” Ben answers. “So wait, who are you, lady?”

“ I am Lorelai. The Van Haresing, the Rabbit Knight, the Leporichaun! The Hare-idan .” She boasts. “I’m the greatest hero across the dreamscape!”

“Wait, so your powers can only work in your bubbles? Lame.” Car Crash says.

“Wha- pf- NO!” Lorelai retorts. “It’s not lame ! I can create anything I want anywhere…I just…” she huffs. “Can’t do absolutely anything unless I’m in a dream bubble.”

“How’d you wind up here?” Car Crash asks.

“That’s what I’m trying to find out!” she groans. “I was in my bubble, in my room, and…” she trailed off. “Nightmares have leaked into my dream bubbles when I’m especially tired before, but I must have been out of it for it to knock me out of it. No clue how I got out here, though…”

“Hey, boss…” Darkstar whispers to Giovanni. “I don’t think this girl’s as big a hero as she thinks she is.”

Giovanni sighs. “Unfortunately, Darkstar, I think you’re right. It would be needlessly cruel to defeat her in battle. I must take my power…elsewhere.” Giovanni says wistfully.

“Maybe we can give you directions!” Ben suggests to Lorelai. “Where do you live?”

“Urgh…” the woman scrunched her face as though she’d just swallowed an unpeeled lemon whole. “Some stupid hospital with a stupid acronym.”

“Wait…stupid acronym…you mean the asylum?” Flamethrower asks. “You live in the Asylum?”

“Oooh, I get it, she’s crazy .” Spike surmises, and the other kids mumble in agreement.

“Wha- NO, I’m not CRAZY! ” Lorelai exclaims. “Stupid baby-faced doctor says I have a “problem” with over-using my epithet, so I gotta stay there until I stop.” she scoffs. “Reality’s stupid, anyway. They feed me, I go on my adventures, it’s a sweet gig.” She flips her hair back. “So, yeah, just point me in the direction of the asylum, and I will be on my way .”

“We’re actually gonna head there soon.” Car Crash says. “A tutor of ours holds lessons there because the last time she was at school something exploded.”

“Fine, fine, let’s go! I feel…weird.” the woman says.

“Weird how?” Giovanni asks.

“Well, food I make doesn’t reach a stomach before disappearing. And I may have been in my last bubble for a couple…days…” Lorelai’s eyes roll back as she collapses on the ground, passing out, resuming her state as an unconscious body in the park, right on top of a pile of pinecones while the many children ran around in panic, trying to come up with a plan.

Chapter Text

Yoomtah sat quietly in the Asylum’s lobby, tapping her finger on the table every eighth of a second, dreadfully bored. The receptionist was not there. In fact, it seemed like just about every single employee had left early, and the few that remained she hadn’t seen. It was as though the asylum was abandoned, but she didn’t think much of it- the patients loved it here. Quite frankly, you could have all the employees leave, and the patients would probably keep going on normally.

But even with no employees, there were also no kids, and it had been almost half an hour since Yoomtah arrived. She was getting bored . The boys weren’t exactly punctual , but they’d never been this late before. Dusty yellow light streamed through the lobby’s windows and dyed the gray walls and floor of the asylum lobby with the early shades of evening. The lobby was small and sparsely decorated, looking as clinical as the empty halls. As expected, such a place was quiet and still.

As Yoomtah sat, her ears perked as she heard the clattering of one of the metal doors deeper into the facility opening. Out stepped a young, uniformed woman with a sparring blade on her waist. She briefly made eye contact with Yoomtah as she walked out of the asylum, stiff like a toy soldier. Despite the initial sight, the young lady seemed to not acknowledge Yoomtah as she exited.

All of a sudden, the doors the young lady just passed through on her way out BURST open, and stepping out from the inner workings of the asylum like he owned the place was a patient by the name of Rick Shades. He wore a pair of pitch-black glasses perched upon his face, his eyes peering out through them like lighthouses, and his hair is purple with a red streak that made his head resemble some form of sea creature. He also wears dark pants, red fingerless gloves, and a purple patchwork vest with a red scarf and a red heart stitched onto the wrong side of his chest. It was somewhat snappy, but it was definitely not what he was supposed to be wearing as a patient.

“What is HAPPENING out here?!” Rick Shades exclaims.

“Some kid left!” Yoomtah proclaims.

“AH. GOOD!” Rick Shades then closes the doors, heading back into the asylum proper. Whether or not he would later question Yoomtah’s presence is anyone’s guess.

Yoomtah wasn’t sure what was happening, but she found the whole scenario fascinating and funny. She was planning to have fun with the kids today…she was gonna do some karaoke with them! Or at least, she would if the bundles of joy ever decided to show up ! They were 20 minutes late now, and Yoomtah was considering just ditching and going home to see how fast she could chug champagne before throwing up. Just as Yoomtah was beginning to think about what flavor of champagne she’d like to subject herself to tonight, she heard the front doors open. Her seven students walked in, carrying…a body ?!

Well. That was unexpected.

“Miss Zing, we need your help!” Ben called, and Yoomtah was at the children’s side in a fraction of a second as they moved the young woman they were lugging to one of the couches. Something about her was vaguely familiar, but Yoomtah’s scatterbrain couldn’t put her finger on it.

“Kids, what happened ?” Yoomtah asks incredulously, honestly wondering how 5 mundie kids and 2 inscribed ones were able to take down an adult, and more importantly why .

The seven children all begin squawking simultaneously, telling completely different accounts of what had happened in the Park. It would be hard for a normal person to untangle the shouting, but luckily Yoomtah was fluent in chaos. She gained a perfect sense of what each individual kid was saying immediately and smiles triumphantly as she realized the situation and how it wasn’t quite as bad as she thought it was. Yoomtah crouches down to check the woman’s pulse, affirming that she’s alive. She begins to think silently, looking her face over with a squint.

“What’s wrong, Miss Zing?” Crusher asks.

“Besides the fact that we just dragged a body out of the park.” Spike clarifies.

“Oh, well, it’s just…strange.” She says with a giggle. “This woman seems to be Deepwood Race. Not many of them stay in Taiga Country…”

The kids murmur a bit, all of them a bit ignorant about how the races are divided. A person is a person, people can have epithets, and people can have epithets no matter where they come from, so all the different places do is give a person AESTHETICS (Giovanni’s words). The only real exception was that Ocean Country had studies of “Dark Magic”, which meant that Giovanni wants to find and visit any family he might have there so that he can become even stronger! Unfortunately, no one knows where the Country is anymore, so there’s that.

“Why are Deepwood people rare in the city?” Giovanni asks curiously.

“Oh, that’s a long story. Long and complicated! And not important!” Yoomtah declares jovially.

The kids are now digging through their bags for food, and Giovanni holds up a thermos of soup, most likely made with his own Epithet. Using plastic cups from the water cooler in the lobby, he separates the soup from the chunks so it’s pure liquid, and waits for it to cool off before heading over to the passed-out woman. He puts it to Lorelai’s lips and slowly pours the soup in, carefully ensuring that she swallows it.

“Is she gonna be okay?” Ben asks Yoomtah.

“I dunno!” Yoomtah answers honestly. “Probably not, though. This place is equipped with pretty good medical supplies and personnel! Once one of the workers shows up, they can get her to a room, and she’ll be fine.”

At that moment, the doors open again, and another woman steps through, Deepwood as well. She is an older woman, dressed like a businesswoman. She has brown hair with a large streak of gray through it. She wears a pair of glasses connected to her jacked by a beaded chain. She holds her hands behind her back, looking quite professional, her dark eyes and resting unpleasant face scanning the room…and landing on the woman passed out on one of the couches. Her eyes widen, and her emotionless face turns to one of concern.

“Lorelai?” She asks aloud and rushes to the unconscious woman’s side.

“Ah, you know this woman?” Yoomtah asks.

“I’m Lorelai’s Mother. What is she doing out of her room?” she stands up straight, looking Yoomtah dead-on. “Do you even work here?”

“No!” Yoomtah says triumphantly. “These kids say they found here in the Park.”

“What? Lorelai is a patient here.” the woman explains. “How…no, why would she leave?”

“She seemed really confused,” Giovanni says. “Maybe she sleepwalked? Security in this place seems…kinda lax.” He says, gesturing to the empty lobby around them.

“Not even a secretary?” the woman frowns and stands up straight. “I am going to have words with Doctor Ashling.”

“Why does that name sound familiar…?” Giovanni wonders to himself as the doors to go deeper burst open once more, and Rick Shades emerges.

“I am trying to CONCENTRATE- oh, hello!” Rick Shades greets the lobby of strangers greatly. “Welcome to the Sweet Jazz Asylum for the Mentally Unsound Inscribed,” he spoke with a dark inflection, sounding like some kind of demented doctor. “I’m afraid we’re not accepting any new patients at the moment. COME BACK LATER!” He screams the final part. “Have a nice day.”

“Now, hang on, there!” Calliope marches up to the man. “If you work here, I demand to know who’s in charge!” She points at Lorelai. “My daughter Lorelai somehow wandered out unseen! A bunch of kids had to bring her back! What kind of establishment is this?”

“Lorelai?” Rick Shades arches an eyebrow, his smile leaving his face. “Ah. My apologies, Madam Blyndeff!” He says, and Giovanni’s gasp goes unheard. “Please, come with me. I shall make sure an orderly returns Miss Lorelai to her room, post-haste!”

“See that you do.” the woman says, following Rick Shades deeper into the asylum.

“WHAT?!” Giovanni exclaims. “She’s a Blyndeff?! They’re both Blyndeffs?!”

“You know about the Blyndeffs?” Yoomtah asks.

“NO!” Giovanni lies.

“But…eh, I’m not your Mom.” Yoomtah drops the issue.

And of course, due to the utter chaos of the situation, the doors burst open once more and out walks a woman. As she walks, the walls become overwhelmed with a green glow, also covering the only doors out.

“Don’t bother screaming…” the woman says with a grin. “No one will hear you.”

The woman wore a beautiful black velvet outfit and cloak that made her look like some kind of twisted vampire. She wore no mask, but an afro of deep brown hair with monochromatic stars framed what would normally be a gentle face with a twisted grin and ambitious eyes. Her gloves are black and gauntlet-like, and the most colorful thing on her is the golden amulet around her neck, softly glowing with a pearlescent light, reacting to its proximity to Lorelai.

“But don’t be afraid. Dear old Calypso’s just here to finish a job.” Molly Blyndeff declares sinisterly.

“Mama Bear!” Giovanni exclaims. “You look so cool !”

“Wha- Giovanni ?” Molly exclaims.”What are you doing here?!”

“We found a park body!” Giovanni explains jovially, and Molly’s eyes trail to Lorelai.

“Little Vincent Murder…” Molly’s eyes shine with not just her own epithet, but many others. “You are by far the most ambitious minion I’ve had.” She starts to walk towards the body.

“Aw, shucks, I just do what any loyal minion would do!” he gasps. “Oh, speaking of minions, I want to introduce you to mine-”

Molly makes it to the unconscious body, and holds her hand over Lorelai’s body. The Amulet reacts, glowing, and the tiny wisp of power still remaining in the unconscious woman zips out of her form and crawls up Molly’s hand, towards the amulet, desperate to be whole again.

“Finally…” Molly’s grin grows wider as the green walls glow with brighter light. “ Augment is MINE!”

“Uh…you good, boss?” Giovanni asks nervously. After what Molly had said at the museum, he was honestly a bit surprised to see her so callously steal someone’s Epithet.

“Don’t worry, little Vincent. This one deserved it .” She looks back at them, her eyes remaining on Yoomtah for a few moments, but ultimately ignoring her.

“Well, why are you here?!” Giovanni exclaims. “Shouldn’t you be on the lam?”

“I am! I just had to pick up some souvenirs. Like a friend! And revenge .” Molly says grimly.

Yoomtah is just watching all of this with extreme interest. She’s so glad Naven talked her into coming today- this is exactly the kind of thing she loves to see! Such drama, such mayhem ! Meanwhile, Giovanni’s minions were all fangirling at Molly, truly astonished at how indescribably awesome she was, on top of her being so evil that she steals Epithets . It’s terrifying for sure, but she assures them all she only does it to those that deserve it.

“Well, I guess I could use a few little Oliver Twist pickpockets.” she crouches to Giovanni’s level. “Vincent Murder, I’ve officially left the Banzai Blasters.” Giovanni gasps in shock, but Molly pats his head. “I know, shocking. But I’ve decided I don’t need them. I’m making my own crew. Are you in? You’d have to change your secret name.”

“DONE!” Giovanni agrees instantly. “From now on, I am Hotshot !” He proclaims proudly. Giovanni had a dozen different villain names, needing to change them on the fly was no problem whatsoever. “And all my minions already have codenames! Except for Ben.”

“Weren’t we gonna change that…?” Ben asks.

“No clue what you’re talking about.” Giovanni shrugs, and Ben slumps dejectedly.

“Aw, that’s fun!” Yoomtah giggles. “You’re using my lessons in standing out for evil! How adorable !”

“ I HEAR FRIENDSHIP!!! ”

The doors to the inner sanctums of the lobby burst open, revealing the silencing walls had fallen at some point. Rick Shades, now without the woman, gasps as he sees Molly and hugs her, wrapping her arms around her.

“MOLLY, MY DEAR FRIEND!” Rick Shades declares dramatically. “You have grown!”

“It’s been like, seven years, Rick, of course I’ve grown.” Molly chuckles.

“SEVEN YEARS?!” Rick exclaims. “I guess time does fly when you’re crazy. NO MATTER!” The man laughs. “EVERYTHING IS READY!”

“Whoa, new minion!” Giovanni exclaims.

“Not just any minion.” Molly smiles. “A dear friend.”

“Ooh!” Rick crocuches to Giovanni’s level. “Hello, little one! Would you like to be friends?” he holds out his hand like a twisted villain from a kid’s show.

“HECK YEAH!” Giovanni exclaims and shakes his hand, and black lightning crashes as Rick Shades laughs maniacally.

“The pact is SEALED!” Rick Shades laughs triumphantly. “MORE POWER THAN EVER!”

“Rick, why don’t you show Hotshot here how your powers work?” Molly smiles.

“Of course, Molly, my dear friend!” Rick smiles. “My Epithet is Soulmates ! It allows me to share powers with every friend I have. And now…” He begins to laugh. “I can use yours!” he leans down. “What are your powers, by the way?”

Giovanni looks at Molly, who nods, and he smiles. “Soup!” Giovanni grins.

“Soup, yes!” Rick grins, then leans down again. “What is that?”

Molly facepalms. “Oh, for goodness…it’s been seven years , Rick!”

“It’s not my fault!” Rick whines. “No matter! I shall learn later. I have spent the last few hours populating and reconstructing the Asylum to my whims using Augment!”

“You see, Hotshot, Rick here doesn’t just get my powers, but thanks to me wearing the amulet, he gets all the other powers too,” Molly smirks.

“And in a matter of hours, our plan shall be COMPLETE! ” Rick Shades grins.

“What plan?” Giovanni asks excitedly.

“Using Augment, I have begun constructing a machine.” Rick Shades chuckles darkly. “When the machine accepts the Arsene Amulet as a power source, it shall filter and connect to every Dream Bubble in the hospital! We’ve sealed every patient in the hospital into one, and used the hypnotic powers of Molly’s Epithet to make the employees go home!” Rich’s grin widens like a pouncing predator. “Once the machine connects to the dream bubbles, it will take every Epithet here AT THE SAME TIME! ” Rick begins to laugh maniacally. 

“W-what?! You can’t do that!” Giovanni exclaims. “Some of these people might not deserve their Epithets taken!”

“They’re here, Hotshot. They all deserve it.” Molly says grimly, glaring at the unconscious woman on the couch, seeming to equate the actions of her with every other patient in this hospital.

“Come on, boss! Can’t we talk about this? It’s a bit much…” Giovanni tries to reason with her, but she sighs.

“If you don’t agree with this, Giovanni, you can step outside. It won’t be long now, anyway.” Molly says solemnly.

“No!” Giovanni shouts. “I won’t let you do that! People deserve to keep their cool powers, like Mera and Indus!”

Something wavers in Molly, but she hardens. “No…I’ll take their powers too if need be.”

“Interesting…” Yoomtah mumbles, just watching the exchange.

“Boss, you’ve changed! What’s wrong with you?!” Giovanni exclaims.

“Nothing’s wrong. I feel better than ever!” Molly says, flexing her muscles and letting the power visibly course through her, an oil-slick rainbow of epithet glows covering her body.

“CEASE, FRIENDS!” Rick Shades says. “We should not fight!”

“You’re right, Rick.” Molly sighs. “Giovanni, I’m going to complete this, no matter what. If you want to do something about it…” She looks down at him, and for a second, Giovanni’s eyes widened as he saw a pained look in Molly’s eyes, free from any Epithet glow.

“Then please…come stop me.” Her voice cracks so quietly, that Giovanni doesn’t think anyone else heard it.

At that moment, Molly raises her hands, and the doors burst open one last time, revealing what has become of the Asylum. Dream bubbles are fused to the walls like cysts, and dark black veins like tentacles cover the walls, connecting them all through some kind of system. New tentacles grow around Molly, and she raises her arms as a new dream bubble starts to form, pulling everyone in with them.

“Oh…and there won’t be calling backup allowed. You’re coming with me.” Molly points a claw towards Yoomtah, and from within the dream bubble, dark tendrils emerge, binding Yoomtah in some kind of dark straightjacket.

“Ooh, welp, this is happening!” Yoomtah says, her grin never leaving her as the tendrils drag her into the bubble.

Giovanni gasped as the whole world began to change around them. It all turned to ivory, the light overwhelming the senses…

Chapter Text

Giovanni and his boys came to somewhere unknown, blinking away soft, golden light. They found themselves in the soil of a vast garden covered in larger-than-life fruits and vegetables that you might find in someone’s backyard garden. There were several hedges, all in the shapes of various doors. There were also tables supplied with drinks and snacks, all of which glowed with the unsettling light of Augment . Ominous signs dotted the landscape, saying ‘Help Yourself’.

Giovanni stood up and dusted himself off. He looked around, and, having no sense of self-preservation, grabbed a random piece of candy and popped it into his mouth. It was probably some of the best candy he’s ever had! But as he swallowed, he felt it dissolve to nothing before it even hit his stomach.

“Well, it’s official…” Giovanni turns to his minions. “We’re in paradise! All the candy we want, none of the consequences!”

“Uh, boss? What about the rest of this place?” Darkstar asks, and Giovanni surveys the rest of the place beyond the garden.

Oh.

Beyond the utopic walls of this entry garden, beyond the candy cane doorway into the rest of the world…everything takes a steep turn. The trees are dark and gnarled, their knots replaced with mirrors, and it goes deeper and deeper through a twisted landscape. There seemed to be an occasional haven of paradise, but it all ended at a central spire from a literal castle of ivory. Or was it marshmallow? Probably both. The imposing structure was bright and beautiful, yet dark and imposing. It hurts your eyes to hurt at it for too long, not because of how bright it is, but because of how difficult it is to comprehend how one structure could fit on every end of every describable spectrum at once. Covering the castle are the same black veins that not only coated the asylum but the ground and walls and trees of the forests beyond the garden. At its peak was not a tower point, but a flat top where something gleaming and metal can barely be seen. The castle was also covered in heart motifs, heart windows, the veins made heart shapes, and the peak’s floor was shaped like a heart. Any child in their right mind would be horrified!

Giovanni was delighted.

“Oh, yes! Now, this is what I’m talking about!” Giovanni laughs. “Alright, Boys, here’s the plan: We talk Mama Bear- er, Calypso out of her craziness, and then do big, BAD things with this world of madness!” Giovanni laughs maniacally, and his minions cheer nervously.

“Are you sure, boss? She seemed kinda…intense.” Ben says.

Giovanni scoffs. “Oh, please! This is the classic “Bad Guy biting off more than they can chew” thing! All we gotta do is be there when some big hero stops her , or her own power nearly consumes and betrays her, and then we sweep in, talk her to her senses, and we all go back to being a big, happy, villainous family! Get it?” Giovanni explains, and the minions murmur in agreement.

“I mean, at least there’s candy.” Spike says, chomping on a handful of butterscotch candies, crunching loudly.

They then hear groaning, and the group of seven children turns to see ‘Lorelai’ coming to consciousness. She was deposited on a slate of hard granite- the only uncomfortable surface in the entire garden.

“Damn, she holds a grudge…” Car Crash mutters.

“Because revenge is awesome .” Giovanni says matter-of-factly.

“Wha…where?” Lorelai looks up. “Oh, I must have passed out in my Dream Bu-WHAT ARE YOU KIDS DOING HERE?!” Lorelai stares at the kids. “Did I…dream you into my bubble from my dream…?”

“You weren’t dreaming, and you still aren’t.” Darkstar says.

“We brought you to the Asylum, and, well…” Crusher explains the entire situation to Lorelai, who was skeptical until she tries using her Epithet and saw the landscape beyond the garden had changed drastically.

“A castle?! ” Lorelai exclaims. “How is she making a castle?! Dream Bubbles are big, but not that big!”

“I don’t think it’s just one bubble,” Darkstar suggests. “I think it’s a bunch of ‘em, strung together.”

“She’s combining dream bubbles?” Lorelai blinks. “I can combine my dream bubbles?!”

“We can’t get out of here without your Epithet, so…” Car Crash shrugs.

“Don’t worry, kids!” Lorelai says dramatically. “Even without my powers, this is still my bubble! I will stop my sister and bring an end to this madness!”

At this, Giovanni’s eyes alight with mischief. “Yeees, great hero! Go on, save the day!” Giovanni proclaims, giving a thumbs-up to his friends behind him.

The group began walking and swiftly began to realize Lorelai’s problem as they walked. She was brazen and outspoken (who wasn’t?), for sure, but her real problem came in insisting she had done nothing wrong. Asking questions led them in circles of denial, so the kids have no real clue what happened.

---

Lorelai was being cautious. She knew her worlds were dangerous, and who knew how her sister had decided to corrupt them? This world was a place of her own design, and her sister wasn’t nearly as creative, but she had to stay vigilant anyway.

“I should have known you’d be wandering around instead of waiting patiently.” A voice cuts through the woods, and all of the mirrors on the trees alight with a single eyeball.

“Molly…give me my powers back, cheater!” Lorelai protests.

“ Cheater? ” Molly scoffs. “I won our epithet duel fair and square. You cheated by surrounding me with conjured monsters!”

“Pft, they don’t even affect you!”

The two sisters begin to squabble before Lorelai shouts louder than her sister.

“GIVE ME BACK MY POWERS OR ELSE, YOU BRAT!”

“Or else what ?” The eyes squint. “You’re powerless. What would you do?” The mirrors begin to display memories. “Make me the damsel in distress? Trap me in the middle of a racetrack? Turn me into a mote of dust ?” Molly challenges, showing all those memories and more of the countless ways Molly was tormented.

“It never mattered! Your stupid Epithet can negate anything, so why even care?!” Lorelai retorts.

“Same as ever.” Molly sighs. “You’re a god in your bubbles, so you act like one. No care for the lives or consequences of anyone inside of them…even if they’re real.” The eyes grow wide, all beginning to glow. “Let’s see how you like the other end.”

Before Lorelai could do so much as duck, countless beams of light emerge from the mirrors, all impacting Lorelai! She cries out in fear, and she is reduced…to a tiny rabbit.

“Wha- YOU CAN’T DO THIS TO ME!” the tiny rabbit angrily shouts with a squeak.

“ I can do whatever I want. You’re in my world now, Lorelai.” Molly chuckles darkly. “But, you know what? I’ve already got your Epithets, and I’m mere hours away from completing my goal here. So, tell you what.” They hear the snapping of fingers, and behind them, the walls of the bubble are shifted and dumbed down, creating an elegant gate out of the dreamworld.

“Leave through this door, and all is forgotten. You can continue your life, unhindered by me…as a mundie.” Molly orders.

“Molly, you can make portals now?!” they hear Rick Shades exclaim offscreen.

Molly ponders for a moment. “Yes, Rick, as a matter of fact, I can make portals now. To anywhere I’ve been in person.”

“STUPENDOUS!” Rick Shades laughs, and a pang of thunder booms over the distant castle as his evil laughter carries across the entire dream bubble.

“Good luck, Lorelai. You’ll need it.” Molly says, and all of the eyes close, the voice leaving, the mirrors returning to be normal mirrors.

“Oh, as if I’m gonna give up!” Lorelai snarls as much as a bunny can, hitting her foot against the ground before bounding forward, barely able to be followed by the kids.

---

Giovanni, however, walked to one of the mirrors, knocking on it. “Uh, Mama Bear?”

“Yes, Giovanni?” the mirror warbles and shows the shrouded form of Calypso’s face.

“We’re kinda trying to uh, trick this hero chick into thinking we’re on her side. Any way you can help with that?” He asks earnestly. He doesn’t want Molly to know he plans on talking her out of her plan, though. She ponders this, and an idea flashes in her eyes.

“I can turn you all into weasels!” She suggests honestly.

“Uh, how about just them? Cause, you know.” Giovanni poses. “I’m too slippery to get hit.”

“Done.” Molly smiles and snaps her fingers.

Each of Giovanni’s friends is now in weasel form- all of them are little golden weasels with motifs and designs on them reminiscent of an alternate world’s banzai blaster disguises. After explaining the plan, the weasels now cling to Giovanni’s body as he chases after the rabbit. Giovanni may be faster than a posse of weasels, but not a single angry rabbit.

They went onward, not entirely sure what Molly had in store for her in her little wonderland.

Chapter Text

https://archiveofourown.info/works/43236903/chapters/127806772