Archive of Our Own ^beta

“... Lars, are you okay?”

“Hm? Yeah, why?”

“You look… tense.”

“It’s nothing, Steven.”

Lars doesn’t take his eyes off the bowl, mixing the ingredients rather fast. Steven only watches, gradually noticing that Lars isn’t doing it gently and calmly like usual. It’s rather rough, so much that some of the mix might even spill out of the bowl, and that only frustrates Lars more.

“I can do that for you,” Steven suggests.

“It’s fine , Steven.”

The strained tone, plus sweating and the pained grunt tell him otherwise.

He’s too late when Lars hisses loudly, the falling bowl even louder. Thank goodness it’s made of plastic, but it still leaves a mess on the floor. That’s not Steven’s main concern, of course.

“Lars, are you hurting? Where does it hurt?” The younger boy begs.

His friend doesn’t reply with words. No, Lars’ hand is clutching his shirt tightly, below his belly.

“I-I can help! Well, it might be weird, but I can heal you!” Steven doesn’t know which Lars would prefer, either spit or a kiss. Knowing him, he’d probably hate both.

“No, no…” Lars mumbles in the middle of his sorrow. “It’s not something you can heal.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah, trust me. I just gotta head to the restroom real quick. You stay here, okay?”

“Don’t you want me to-?”

“You stay.”

Steven gulps, shutting his mouth, even if the other doesn’t really sound intimidating. Lars leaves the kitchen, a closing door heard not too far. Steven wishes he could do more, but he knows he can’t force his help onto his friend. He’s done plenty of it.

Consequently, the half-gem focuses on cleaning the mess on the floor, grabbing the nearest cleaning cloth he could find. He doesn’t take long to take care of it, finally ending the chore by washing the dishes involved. Steven looks behind him but he doesn’t hear Lars, in case he needs anything.

Deciding not to bother him, Steven sits on one of the chairs to check on his phone, no notifications to be seen. He was hoping to get something from Connie, but she must be busy since she hasn’t replied in a while.

Thus, he revisits his hundreds of videos of Lion’s antics, snorting to himself. Otherwise, the house is pretty quiet.

…

“Uhm… Steven?” A voice comes from the distance. “Are you there?”

The boy rushes, almost knocking his chair down, and stands right in front of the door.

“Right here!” Steven replies. “You need anything?”

“Y… Y-Yeah, um…”

The younger boy tilts his head in confusion, not sure why his friend is suddenly so nervous.

“... Steven, could you do me a favor?” Lars’ voice sounds surprisingly small.

“Sure, what is it?”

“Could you…” Lars clears his throat, “could you take my pads for me?”

It clears out. “Oh, okay! Where are they?”

“Wait, you-? I-I mean, I think I left them in the bathroom upstairs…”

“Alright, I’ll–”

“Wait, wait, I…” Lars groans in embarrassment, then lowering his voice, “I might need a clean underwear, too…”

“Don’t worry, I gotcha!”

“There might be one on my bed, hopefully.”

“Okay! I’ll try to be quick, so hang in there, okay?”

“Okay…”

Steven gets the underwear first, so he takes the pack of pads and rushes back downstairs. When he arrives there, however, he can hear Lars growling in agony. It really hurts to hear.

He waits for Lars to quiet down, and if he’s not hearing things, his friend might be close to tears.

Finally, Steven clears his throat and knocks lightly on the door.

“I’m back,” he mumbles.

“Oh, thank god. Just, hang on…”

Lars opens only a smidge so his hand takes the two objects, thus closing the door again.

“... Thanks, Steven,” he sighs. Lars doesn’t usually say those words to Steven, only through actions, so it warms him inside despite the pain Lars is in.

Steven smiles, even if Lars can’t see it. “You’re welcome!”

The other teen doesn’t talk to him for now, as Steven soon hears the plastic noises of the pack. He distances a little from the door to give Lars some space. The latter takes quite a while, still grunting painfully, but eventually he flushes down the toilet and washes his hands.

When the door finally opens…

“Whoa, Lars…”

Steven certainly wasn’t expecting the pale skin, the slightly trembling hands, and the utter exhaustion in his face. Lars still shuts his eyes whenever there’s a pang, but he’s not loud about it.

“Yeah, I look like a corpse,” he remarks sarcastically, but pretty much drained. “It’s normal.”

“But you’re hurting!”

“Normal.”

“That doesn’t mean it’s okay!”

“Steven, don't sweat it. Let’s just get back to the pastry already.”

The black-haired boy stands in front of him, arms open wide.

“You are not baking in that condition,” Steven steps up.

“Wha- since when are you the boss of me, huh?” Lars sounds too weak to be angry. “I told you, this is normal, I’ve dealt with this for a long time by now.”

“That still isn’t okay.”

Lars groans. “Steven, I know what I’m doing.”

“No, you don’t. You’re sick, and if you keep pushing it, you’re just going to feel worse. You could even hurt yourself!”

Before the taller teenager can protest, Steven points out, with arms crossed and a raised eyebrow, “Also, aren’t you the one who constantly worries about me getting hurt while baking, even when I have healing powers?”

The observation makes Lars blush, maybe unaware he even showed said concern for Steven’s safety so obviously.

“And when I try to excuse it with my powers, you still tell me that it isn’t okay. That I shouldn’t get hurt in the first place.” Steven softens his firm stance. “So, you don’t deserve to hurt either.”

Any other excuse or sarcasm Lars might’ve been prepared with, is completely gone. He has his guard down for once, looking even more weary.

“Are you sure you don’t want me to heal the pain?” Steven inquires.

Lars nods. “I can handle it my way.”

“Okay then. So what do we do?”

“Well… I usually take painkillers, and a hot water bag might help, too…”

Steven raises an eyebrow. “Painkillers?”

“Uh, yeah, like… pills for pain?”

“Pills…?” Steven processes it, then recalls, “Ooooh, you mean those sweets in boxes with weird words? I guess that’s why Connie didn’t let me have one…”

Lars blinks repeatedly. “Have you never taken medicine?”

“Uh, no? I’m half-gem.” Steven doesn’t understand his friend’s shock. “I also never went to the doctor, for that matter.” He pauses. “Well, before I ran into those gem experiments at the hospital Connie’s mom works in…”

Lars groans, hands pressed against his face. “ Why am I even surprised.”

“Anyway, where are the painkillers and the hot water bag?”

“Both of them are in here, I’ll–”

“Oh, no, you’re going to the couch, and not move one inch.”

“Hey, I don’t feel that bad…”

“Remember what I said. You need to rest.”

Lars sighs in defeat. “Fine. I’ll rest.”

“I’ll take you there.”

He can walk fine, but Steven just wants to make sure. Lars lies down, immediately sinking on the couch. Only then does Steven note the sweat in his forehead. He lightly reaches a hand to Lars’ head, the other boy stiffening a little.

“You’re kinda warm,” Steven observes.

“Yeah. Fever.”

“Also normal?”

“Mhmm.”

“Okay,” Steven inhales. “So, you need the pills, a glass of water, and that hot water bag, is that it?”

“Yeah, pretty much.”

“Okay. I’ll get the medicine first, then the hot bag.”

“It’s ketoprofen, the medicine,” Lars informs him. “And you can heat up the bag in the microwave, just make sure it’s not burning, okay?”

“Okay.” Steven almost leaves…

“No, seriously, wrap it with a dishcloth or else you’ll get burned.”

Steven smirks and pats Lars’ head. “I’ll be just fine. I’m not the one who should be worried about here.”

Lars’ cheeks redden again.

“Ugh, whatever.” He turns to the other side, and Steven snorts.

“Be right back.”

Lars only replies with muffled, tired noises.

Steven gets to work.

It feels like a gap, because the next time Lars wakes up, he’s covered in a blanket, the curtains protecting him from the sunlight. There’s only a soft orange lamp lit, besides the television with decreased volume.

Lars rubs his eyes, grumbling in tiredness.

“Oh, you’re awake.”

His view is still kind of blurry, but he recognizes Steven carrying two cups. The smell is like childhood to him.

“Ugh… I always black out because of these pills,” Lars mutters.

“That’s a good thing, right?”

“I guess…”

“You want a hot chocolate?”

Lars makes a sound that is far from a snort. “I’m pretty sure it’ll knock me out harder than the pills, but alright.”

“It’s hot,” Steven warns him before he takes it.

That motivates the weary teen to sit on the couch, taking the sip very carefully. From the corner of his eye, Steven sits on the armchair and appears to watch Lars as if the latter might combust.

It’s hot but not burning, so Lars feels… good when he tastes it.

“This is really good,” he comments. “Did you add milk?”

“Yeah, thought it’d taste better.”

“Good choice.”

Even though the TV is on, neither of them pay attention, nor do they talk much. It doesn’t feel awkward, though. It feels cozy, comforting… safe.

Lars kind of finishes off his mug a little too quickly.

“Do you want more?” Steven notices.

“Just one.”

The second he patiently savors it.

Like that, Lars catches Steven staring at his mug meaninglessly. He looks…

“... um, Lars?”

“Yeah?”

“Are you feeling better?”

“Oh, definitely.” Lars smiles, both casually and to cheer the kid up. “The chocolate helped even more.”

Steven is the one who blushes. It doesn’t last long, though.

“Do you need anything else?”

Lars shrugs. “I don’t think so.”

“Good. Good.”

Doesn’t seem like it.

The older boy is hesitant yet when he opens his mouth, Steven beats him to it.

“Well, if you don’t need help anymore… I should probably get going, right?” The latter places his mug on the small table in front of them both. “You probably wanna be alone, so I’ll leave you be.”

Steven tries not to show it, and it’s such a weird sign. Lars has always known the kid has a side that nobody else sees. He has also noticed that Steven has been considerate and patient as of late, never crossing boundaries like in the past. Although he was firm with Lars earlier, that was because the latter really was in a poor state. Otherwise, Steven gives him space. Sometimes, in fear of making Lars angry or annoyed.

Besides, Lars is almost sure he might’ve heard, you don’t need me anymore .

And the boy still masks it with a smile.

“I’ll see you around,” he waves.

Truly, Steven jumps from the armchair and will walk all the way to the front door, when something in Lars suddenly lights up.

“Hey, wait.”

Steven raises an eyebrow.

“What?”

Lars is still not very good at this. Regardless…

“I…” he swallows, "... I don’t want you to leave.”

He’s never been great with words, so this is a surprise for both of them.

“I know I’m not sick like before, but I…” Lars’ face flushes. “... I like your company, Steven.”

Steven would’ve openly fanboyed if he ever heard these words in the past.

“That’s why I’ve been… calling you over. Not because I want help to bake,” Lars argues, “but because I enjoy spending time with you.”

“Lars…”

“And I know I suck at this, but… I still want to try. So, yeah…” He rubs the back of his neck. “I’d really like it if you stayed. You don’t have to, obviously, after everything you did today…”

Clearly, he’s rambling. He’s such a mess.

Steven looks like he’s going to cry.

But he doesn’t shed any tears.

He swallows them.

“I’d love to stay,” Steven says simply, grinning.

“Great. Awesome.”

“Yeah, cool.”

“Yeah.”

They both laugh nervously.

“Okay then,” Steven concludes, and is about to return to the armchair, when Lars sighs and rolls his eyes affectionately.

“You can sit here, y’know.”

“Oh? Is that okay?”

“If I’m saying it, then it is.”

“Oh. Okay.”

Although Lars is the alien at socializing, Steven seems to take the prize instead, completely going against his carefree, naive nature.

Then again, Steven has changed. Matured.

(But not necessarily for the good.)

He’s sitting on the opposite corner awkwardly.

“Dude, I’m not gonna bite,” Lars remarks but not in a mean way.

“I know.”

The older softens. “Hey, I know you want to respect my space. I really appreciate it. But it’s okay if you want to sit closer.”

Steven’s awkwardness appears to quiet down a little, and it’s kind of relieving. It looks so out of place on such a bright kid.

Finally, the younger boy is close, but they’re not touching. Lars offers him part of the blanket, so they’re sharing the soft, warm cover. Steven relaxes even more like this, despite his fear of coming too close.

“This is nice,” he comments. Lars only hums.

They’re quiet again, but in the cozy way from before. There’s a movie with too much happening, so Lars just switches channels to a cartoon. It’s usually something light and not tragic or scary.

Lars removes the previously hot water bag from the couch, putting it on the center table, and his hand reaches the part of his body that he once hugged close. It’s quieted down completely, and hopefully it won’t come back at full force again.

Looking at Steven, he replays what happened before he took a nap. Him refusing help until it got way out of hand…

Lars has had questions since then. He doesn’t have the gut to actually ask them. Do they even matter?

Steven is looking at him.

“What is it?”

“Oh, sorry. Just… thinking.”

“Hm.” Steven isn’t convinced.

Lars inhales and exhales deeply.

“So… you never took medication in your life,” he prefaces, “but you know about periods?”

Steven shrugs. “Sorta. Connie asked me to buy pads at the drugstore once, and she explained it somewhat. But I don’t think she feels the same pain you did.”

“Yeah, it’s relative…”

“Has it always been this bad?”

“Honestly… it used to be much worse. It would hurt like it was the end of the world. I couldn’t even go to school or go out, I had to stay in bed the whole day.”

“That sucks.”

“Yeah.”

There’s a thoughtful pause.

“Well… Sadie is the one who usually helps me with this. She’s the only one besides my mom that… knows.” Lars clears his throat. “I didn’t want you to see it, to know too.” Pause. “But you saved me, dude. I could never thank you enough.”

Steven smiles. “You can always count on me.”

Lars returns it. “Yeah, I know.”

A yawn… which doesn’t come from Lars.

“Gee, you must be outta gas,” the older boy assumes.

“I guess…” Steven’s voice grows tired. “Haven’t been sleeping well…”

Lars’ smile falters.

“Come on, now,” he says, about to leave the couch so Steven can sleep on his spot, when the boy lies against him, burying his face in Lars’ chest.

“Don’t wanna sleep…” Steven whines. “Nightmares…”

He clings to Lars in fear.

Steven? Afraid?

He must be dreaming.

But Lars ignores his feelings for now.

“Hey, hey,” he whispers, “you’re safe here, buddy.”

“Mmm…”

“You’re safe.”

Steven relaxes but doesn’t let go.

“You’ll stay?” The kid asks, so young.

“Yeah, of course. I’m not leaving.”

“Mmmmkay…”

As the boy sinks more and more, Lars gently places the both of them on the spot with a pillow. Steven is… pretty much in his arms.

They’ve never done this before. Lars thought they weren’t there yet.

But…

It’s not bad.

It might be weird, basically cuddling in a cozy couch, yet Lars doesn’t want to leave, even if Steven weren’t holding onto him for protection.

Huh… weird. Steven is always the one protecting Lars, with a shield and everything. At the same time, the kid obviously clinged to him, but not like this. Steven fights and protects and saves.

Now… he’s the one needing to be protected. To be saved.

Lars doesn’t even know how he’s gonna do that.

…

He can try.

As he’s slipping back into slumber, Lars doesn’t really notice him hugging Steven a little tighter.

And he sleeps rather peacefully, too.