Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

He wasn't important. He was nothing. The turtle had always known that.

Mikey may be many things- stupid, clumsy, an idiot, a disgrace- name it. 

But oblivious?

Okay, maybe sometimes- but not when it came to his brothers. Not when it came to their thoughts about him. 

How no one ever wanted to be with him, how missions only went south because of him and his stupid antics, how all smiles and laughter stopped the moment he set foot into a room, how everyone always looked at him with annoyance and ready to wack him on the head because he deserved it-

All the eyes watching him. Waiting for him to leave. 

Mikey was aware of it all. 

Angrily, the turtle almost threw the wooden spoon he had been using to stir the pasta on the floor, but managed to control himself in time, and closed his eyes to take a couple, deep breaths. Just like how they did during meditation. How come he could do the breathing exercises almost all the time except during meditating?

You and your stupid, stupid attention span. 

If he could shout, he would have. But the chance of one of his brothers or Sensei hearing him was too high. So the turtle suffered in silence instead and placed the spoon back into the pan.

It probably tasted terrible. Again.

The one thing he did good was cooking and even that he did terribly! 

...Did he really do that good? 

Well- he didn't leave the kitchen in a complete mess, unlike his brothers, so there was that. But that was about it. His family told the youngest many times how he either burned it, or something was undercooked, or- or- 

Well. No. They used to say that. But then Mikey got that weird shellacne all over and they had to cook and destroyed the place. Mikey hadn't heard any complaints from any of his brothers about his cooking after that. But he couldn't help but imagine them yelling again...

"It tastes terrible" "did you burn it again?" "Why couldn't you do better?!"

Why can't you do anything better, Michelangelo?

The turtle was pulled out of his thoughts when he smelled burning. 

Looking down, he yelped to see the pasta was boiling, immediately turning off the flame and draining out all the water from the pan. Tears of frustration pricked at his eyes.

Again, Mikey? Really?

He had been burning the food a lot these days.

Just like how he messed up everything else.

And none of his family had said a thing.

"That's because they're NICE!" That voice in his head replied, making Mikey whine and his breath hitch. The pasta was ruined, fix the pasta- but it's burned, how do you fix it-?!

Why did he have to screw up, again and again, oh his bros were gonna be so disappointed with him he couldn't deal with that- 

Salt!

His eyes widened, and he reached for the salt shaker. Trying to learn normal new recipes, Mikey had found that adding more of some other ingredients might fix the burn. But their menu was kinda limited, being in the sewers and all...

And now his family had to eat bad food. Again. Because Mikey had to be such a screw-up.

Donnie wouldn't have burned the pasta. He would have calculated exactly how long it would take before the food was cooked, and have it set perfectly. Raph would be impatient, sure, but he wouldn't burn it. Even Leo, Leo, a disaster in the kitchen, would have done better than what Mikey had done now.

Enough is enough.

Him and his stupid, stupid attention span had caused his bros too much trouble.

That had to change. Now.

He had to be like them.

Be like Donatello. Smart, kind, and always knowing what to do.

Be like Raphael. Strong, brave, and always facing your troubles head-on.

Be like Leonardo. Fearless, gentle, and always there for those who need them.

Be like Leo, be like Donnie, be like Raph.

But not like Michelangelo, he decided, shaking his head.

Never like Michelangelo.

His best bet, Mikey reasoned, would be to start with Donnie.

It made sense, with his logic. Donnie was smart. Like, really smart. And realistically, the youngest knew he would never be as smart as Donatello.  However.

Mikey could become smarter.

Maybe, just maybe, if he could find a way to look at things with logic instead of luck- just maybe would he finally understand missions. Maybe he would finally find a way to keep his mouth shut. Maybe he could find a way to stop being annoying.

Maybe people would wanna be with him.

"Raph, you're with me," Leo said, already turning around. "Mikey, stay with Donnie."

And the youngest had smiled, prepared for B-team action and ready to kick butt-

"Why do I always get stuck with Mikey?"

...Oh.

"Hey." 

"I don't want him." Leo shrugged. "And I'm in charge!" 

"Hey!" Okay this was starting to hurt now.

"Well then make Raph take Mikey!"

"Over my dead body!"

"You know." The youngest said, fighting tears. "I'm starting to think no one wants to be with me. Fine! I'll go off on my own!"

He had used a smoke bomb to disappear before they saw just how upset that had gotten him. 

That had... hurt. 

Was he really so much of a screw-up that no one wanted to be with him? 

Well, no more! 

Donnie was not only smart and logical but also quiet. He could sit still and listen, and with that brain of his, understand and help with plans. 

So Mikey had to understand. Fix his brain. Become useful.

Because clearly there was something wrong with him.

But how would he do that... machines were Donnie's thing, and he doubted the older would allow him in the lab-

Wait.

Donnie was more than just the tech genius...

His face lit up, and he finally got out of his bed. 

Donnie was also the medic.

Raph was the brawn, Donnie the brains, and Leo the leader- but on top of the brains, Donatello was the only one with medical knowledge. Sure, the others had some knowledge of the medical field- but not near as much as their purple brother. 

Mikey was just an annoyance. Something to be protected. A burden.

Maybe, if he could learn more about the medical world- maybe he could help Donnie, or even better, become the medic so that his older brother had one thing less to worry about. 

He would stop worrying him when Mikey got hurt again because he would be able to take care of himself.

On top of that- to be a medic, he had to focus. Focus on details, and sit still to learn. So not only would he become smarter and more useful- but he would be calm and quiet, just like his bros wanted him to be.

Mikey would do anything for their approval.

So with a plan in mind, he made his way to the lab, knocking on the wall once there. "Donnie?"

That he had made a secret plan didn't mean his presence was welcome. 

"Can this be quick?" His older brother didn't look up from his machine, nor removed his goggles, not even letting the younger mutant say hi. That was alright. That's why he was doing this, after all! Besides, Donnie was busy, he shouldn't have bothered-

"Do you have any websites or books about injuries?"

That finally made him pause. Donnie stopped his machine. "...What?"

"Any source where I can learn how to treat injuries?" Mikey asked again, smiling innocently. He didn't understand why Donnie turned so sharply, nor why he suddenly looked so worried and removed his glasses. "Or sicknesses, poison- anything medical!"

"Are you hurt?" The genius asked, suddenly alarmed as he grabbed Mikey's cheeks, turning his head side to side to analyze. The youngest cursed under his breath.

He hadn't meant to worry Donnie.

You distracted him! Got him worried! 

"I'm not, Dee." He gently pulled away, smiling goodheartedly. Even then, his reassurances did little to ease the other. "I just wanted to learn more about medical stuff is all?"

"...And why is that?" 

He doesn't trust you. His mind said tauntingly, the voice sounding an awful lot like his own. I wouldn't either.

"To help!" It wasn't a complete lie... "You're a great medic, dude, really- but you already have so much to do and worry about, already-" like me. "-so I wanted to see if there are any ways I can help, just a bit?"

"...And you're sure you're not hurt and just trying to hide it?" Donatello asked a final time, his worry shifting into concern as he scanned his little brother with his eyes. He wouldn’t forgive himself if Michelangelo was hurt and was just lying because he had asked to be quick, earlier.

"Turtles honor." The orange-banded turtle pressed a hand to his chest before he smiled softly. "I'm not hurt, Donnie. Honest."

"...Okay." The older gave up once he couldn't see any injuries and turned around, walking towards one of his shelves and searching for... a book. A big one, it seemed. Brushing off the dust, he walked back. 

"There are a few sites I can send you if you want me to." He offered. "There are a lot of untrusty sides out there, and most things could be different for us since we aren't human. I have found a few trusted websites, however, as this book with some of my notes in them." He paused. "...Are you sure, Mikey?"

Mikey, meanwhile, was staring at the book with disbelief. That thing was huge. And Donnie had read it all?! 

Well. That didn't make him feel like crap. 

Now he knew what he had to do. If Donnie was forced to read that entire thing, then Mikey would, too. "I'm sure." He hugged the book to his plastron and smiled the brightest smile he could muster. "Thanks, dude!" And ran out before Donnie could respond.

"...No problem." The taller didn't know if he should be mostly confused or concerned.

Okay. Step one, get his source of information, was complete! 

...Now he was stuck on step two. Learn.

Oh, Donnie, you make this look easy.

Michelangelo grumbled with frustration, hating himself more and more with each minute that passed and he just couldn't read. How stupid can one get?!

What a disappointment!

The words are RIGHT THERE. So why won't you read them?

He was trying, god, he was trying-

Self-hatred burned in his heart, and Mikey had to put the book down before he ruined it. He had been trying to read the information gifted for almost an hour and he had yet to finish chapter one. 

No, he had been reading, at first... but then it got confusing... and then he heard something from outside, and then he had to check his phone, and how was Icecream Kitty doing-

But once he had gotten up and his hand rested on the doorknob, he froze. 

No!

He was supposed to sit STILL.

Concentrate, and sit. 

Well. Even sitting, he couldn't help tapping against the book with a finger. And no matter how much he looked at the page- words had faded out and nothing made sense, his head feeling as heavy as a brick yet mind in the clouds, his mind off to some adventure- stop! 

How stupid must he be?! 

Mikey breathed deeply in and out, before stubbornly opening the book again, and looking at the page. 

Why. Couldn't. He. Read?!

He wanted to scream, but couldn't do so- what if anyone heard him-?!

So he did the first that came to mind. 

He grabbed the book- 

And slammed it against his head. Hard.

Mikey winced, dropping the book at once to rub at his forehead. Ow, ow, okay, that hurt- why did he do that? That was stupid. 

He grumbled again, looking at the book. The stupid, stupid book, which just didn't make sense to him. How could it? It was huge.

You're too dumb to understand.

...Yeah, he was. 

Defeated, Mikey sank into his pillow. It wasn't his fault he didn't understand it... right? It was just... hard. 

He wasn't smart, like Donnie.

You got up a bazillion times!

He pinched himself before his mind could drift off again. Before he realized.

...Pain.

Pain... seemed... to help.

Now that he realized it...

His head hurt, sure, but it hadn't felt cloudy or heavy ever since he had hit himself with the book. He felt present. Here.

Oh my god.

It was just like with the-

"I had to hurt my brain long enough to remember!"

Mikey's face lit up, and he smiled.

He might not be completely useless after all.

"...Mikey?" 

The youngest looked up from his spot, before smiling at the oldest, Leonardo. "Yeah?"

"Are you okay?" Leo leaned over the table, a worried frown decorating his features. He grumbled when Raph shoved him once he got too close. 

Mikey frowned. "...Yeah? Something the matter?"

"You've been wincing a lot."

Leave it to Leo to pick up on the small things.

Sure, he had hit his head- multiple times not only when his mind drifted off, but also when he just wouldn't get it. After all, he should. The explanations, the answers- they were right there. So how much of an idiot must he be to not understand?

It had worked before. It worked again.

And well. It wasn't much. But he had managed to read- and understand, even a little- an entire chapter. 

It was something.

And Mikey had been glowing by the time he had started on dinner.

He had actually done something right.

"Just a headache, bro." The lie slipped easily and Mikey smiled, but his brother didn't seem convinced. Donnie looked up again, amber eyes looking even more worried than before.

"And you're sure you're not hurt?"

"Why would he be hurt?" Raph finally looked up from his food. 

"He asked me for my medical book."

Not cool, Donnie.

"Mikey?" 

And now he had all three of his bros worried. Great.

"I said I'm not hurt!" He huffed, trying to sound offended as he crossed his arms. "Is it that hard to believe I wanted to try and learn something?"

Raph snorted. Leo nudged him with his elbow. 

Donatello didn't look convinced but seemed to give up. "You know if you were hurt, you can always come to me? No matter how annoyed I am-"

"It's not because you told me to be quick." He smiled gently. "I promise."

"...Okay..." 

"Did you take some Tylenol?" Leo was already getting up, but Mikey made him sit down.

"I'm starting to think you're trying to avoid my cooking, bro. I'm hurt." 

"Wha- no, but I-"

"Look at him." Raph pointed at the youngest, a teasing grin on his face. "That's our usual doofus little bro, Leo. He's fine."

Ow.

He knew Raph didn't mean it that way, he knew that-

"Over my dead body!"

"...Well. Be sure to take some medicine after dinner, then. Alright?"

"You got it, bro!" He hated lying. But that soft smile that he gained in response was worth it.

After having cleaned up the dishes and refusing to let Leo help because he didn't feel like cleaning any broken plates, Mikey locked himself in his room. Donnie never took any breaks, so why should he?

Well, okay- that is bad, and he knew that. He and his bros always had to drag their purple brother out of his lab, who almost always looked exhausted and only able to stand because of the amount of coffee he had consumed. Mikey was seriously considering putting a lock on the cabinet the coffee was in. 

But this was different. He wasn't Donnie. He was nothing. He wasn't important.

Not yet, anyway.

The moment he read and understood this book- he could help Donnie. He could treat their wounds. He would learn to sit still. He would learn to think.

He would be useful. 

That thought was more than enough to make him pick up the large book again, determined to finish at least another chapter before he went to bed. And another... and another...

Two chapters became three, which became four... rereading some chapters because he hadn't paid attention when he read it- how does one do that?! Hitting himself on the head or pinching his arms, again and again, not allowing his mind to drift off and not allowing himself to stand, no matter how much he wanted to- 

Reading the same chapters he had read before, again and again, until he understood.

Once Mikey was absolutely sure he had understood what he had already read, he wanted to move on to the next section of the book- blood types? He had no idea. But just as he was about to flip the page, he yawned. 

Hmm... it must be pretty late, yeah? But he hadn't been busy that long... surely he had more time-

He checked his phone. His eyes almost popped out when he saw the time.

01:44

...Oh.

He yawned again. He longingly looked at the book, before he begrudgingly put it away.

Yeah, no... now that he wasn't trying to read and wasn't hitting himself, the tiredness started to settle into his bones, and his mind grew much, much hazier than before. Odd...

As he settled into his pillow, he took note of how Donnie could pull all-nighters, but Mikey couldn't.

He should fix that.

"You drink coffee now?"

Michelangelo ignored the comment from his older brother and drank it all in one go without thinking about it. He heard Raph whoop behind him, before grabbing his shoulders and pulling him down, fiercely rubbing his head with a fist.

"Man! Are you trying to break Don's record or something?"

Usually, he would have poked and prodded for a reaction. A tease, a prank, whatever he could to rile him up, laugh with him. 

Instead, Mikey pulled away with a slight chuckle. He was honestly too tired for too much of a reaction- which was great!

In the past couple of days, all he had done was read, read, read-  staying up longer and longer, and, and- his method seemed to help! 

As the days passed, he could read a chapter longer and longer without drifting off or getting distracted, so he needed to hit himself less- which was good!

And he was learning to be quieter! Okay, sure, he didn't understand a lot of stuff his brothers explained, yeah, and he didn't know if he was listening or zoning out during missions- but he was quiet. That... was already an improvement. 

"Earth to Mikey?" He snapped out of it when he saw Raph waving his hand in front of his face, and smiled apologetically. The older seemed hesitant now but pushed it down. "Leo's been calling us- ready to go?" 

"Sure, dude!" He smiled brightly, and put his cup down, about to run out- 

The others wouldn't run.

He walked instead.

"Try to keep up, Fearless!"

"Raph! Be quiet!"

That had been odd to hear. Mikey giggled when he saw Donnie roll his eyes, jumping after their other two bros- until Donnie stopped, eyes wide, and held his arm in front of Mikey to stop him. The youngest frowned. "Donnie? Raph and Leo are leaving-" 

"Shh." The genius shushed, pointing forward. Mikey followed his gaze, and froze. 

From the distance below, he managed to see a handful of foot ninjas sneak inside a building a bit further away.

"..." they both blinked, eyes turning into white slits. A press on his shell phone alerted the others, and B-team snuck after them.

What are they doing?

Mikey didn't voice his question out loud, instead sticking close to Donatello in silence. Donnie didn't say a word, instead motioning Mikey to either move or stop. 

The foot soldiers didn't speak, either, instead looking around and opening drawers in silence. Searching... for something... 

Anti-mutagen, maybe? Mikey hoped not, but the turtles had already stolen that back. More? What else would they be after-

DUN DUN DUN DUN - DUN DUN DUN DUN

They froze on the spot when Donnie's ringtone broke the silence. 

The ninja's heads snapped up, katana's pointed at the duo at once. Donnie and Mikey paled- before the former tapped the latter's arm, silently backing away.

Those were... too many ninjas to fight...

"Mikey." He whispered under his breath without tearing his wide eyes away, slowly reaching for his bo-staff. The youngest rested his hands on his nunchucks, in the same state Donnie was in.

Silent.

Mikey had been silent.

Normally, Mikey would have made some stupid comment about how "if they don't move, the ninjas won't see them". Jokes were his way of dealing with stress, after all.

He did no such thing. Donnie needed to be able to think of a plan, after all.

Leo is the plan guy. Not Donnie.

And then a couple of ninjas lunged toward them.

They blinked, serious expressions on their face as they grabbed their weapons, ready to defend. 

Three footsoldiers focused on Mikey while Donnie was trying to hold off four, and the nunchuck wielder grumbled. He seriously needed coffee after this.

Where are Raph and Leo?

He was about to swing his nunchucks without looking and grinned- before his smile fell.

Swinging his weapon without thinking-

Is not something any of his brothers would do.

In fact, Donatello had been quite terrible at it, when he tried.

He didn't focus for a second to look- and just barely managed to dodge a foot trying to stab him, instead cutting into his side. He winced. 

Donnie's phone sang his ringtone once more, making the genius groan.

"Are they serious?!" He cried out, throwing one ninja on top of the other by knocking them down with his staff. 

DUN DUN DUN DUN - DUN DUN DUN DUN

"Donnie, they're with too many!" Mikey whined, managing to knock another soldier down. With four, sure, they could take them- but two? 

"I can see that!" Using his staff as support, the genius threw himself into the air and sat on top of his bo-staff, making two ninjas attack each other instead. At the same time, he looked around, trying to find a new exit. No, nothing, nada!

Okay- Screw thinking! 

Feeling like garbage, Mikey closed his eyes and channeled out his thoughts, before he just swung his nunchucks without thinking about it, his stuttery movements turning smoother. He was aware he had hit his intended targets and felt both good and terrible.

You're doing it wrong.

You're supposed to THINK.

Once he felt someone else approaching, he jumped and kicked them in the stomach. Doing a backflip before he landed, he kicked someone else in the head. 

How pathetic must you be?

He landed, and looked around-

A ninja was reaching for Donnie's staff.

His eyes widened. "DONNIE-!"

The purple brother looked down, just in time to see the ninja knocking him down.

He yelped and fell- hitting his head on the ground hard.

"DONNIE!" Mikey cried out, rushing over and pushing his attacker away. "Bro?!"

"Hhhggg..." was all the response he got, and the turtle's eyes shut. Mikey froze.

"...Dee?" 

Don't panic, Michelangelo.

Think logically, Michelangelo.

He had no time to react to his brother, instead grabbing one of the ninja's fists when they were about to hit him. Eyes white slits, he twisted their arm and threw them over his shoulder.

What should he do?

What would Donnie do, if their roles were reversed?

He towered over Donatello protectively as he looked around. 

He would... he had been trying to find an exit. 

Well... if there wasn't an exit- 

He could make one.

So, he closed his eyes and did what he did best. 

Swing his nunchucks without a thought when three of the soldiers he knocked down before got up and charged towards him. 

He couldn't leave Donnie.

So once they were close enough, Mikey hit one in the head, before kicking them towards the other on the right, and punched the final- right on the nose.

His stomach dropped when he heard a crack. But no time to think about that.

"Come on, Dee." He reached down and tried to maneuver the older on his back- which was hard on his own, especially since the genius was dead weight and slack in his arms. But he managed and finished by wrapping Donnie's arms around his neck and holding on tight. His eyes fell on Donnie's bo-staff.

Stuffing his nunchucks back into his belt, he grabbed it. He wasn't about to leave his brother weaponless. 

Okay. Time to go.

"BOOYAKASHA!!!!" He screamed- and charged, right through the foot ninjas that had gotten up again.

Be one with the shadows. Be one with your surroundings.

That mantra Michelangelo kept repeating to himself, over and over as he didn't even dare to breathe, listening to his brother's ragged breathing. We're almost there, bro, just hang on.

Where "there" was, Mikey didn't know. He had to check Donnie as soon as possible, according to chapter one of his book- so the lair was too far away. Besides, he wouldn’t risk those foot soldiers following them. 

Only once he was sure he was far enough did Mikey slow his running, and jump into what looked like an abandoned alleyway. Gently, he slid the older off his back and cradled him in his lap. "Donnie?" 

No response. He did get a groan once he gently touched his head, so he at least knew Donnie wasn't- don't think about it. 

Well- what was he supposed to do?! Donnie was the medic, not Mikey!- 

What did you learn in the past couple days?

"..." With a whimper, the turtle grabbed the other's wrist and placed two of his fingers there. He had wanted to practice first, to make sure he got it right, but seems like there was no time for that. He knew he was doing it wrong, he couldn't feel anything even though he heard Donnie breathing- which made tears of frustration prick in his eyes. 

Don't you dare cry. Not now.

He still wasn't good enough.

Deep breaths...

He breathed once to calm his nerves, before moving his fingers to a different angle- nope. Still wrong... oh! His neck! Right! 

Eyes widening, he put his fingers in the soft and hollow spot on Donnie's neck, just like he had read in the articles online. He felt a soft da-dun da-dun underneath his fingers and sighed with relief.

Okay. He was doing it right. 

Now he was supposed to count how many beats he felt in a minute... so he did just that. 

He didn't know what was normal, sadly. But it would help him at least know if Donnie's heart was slow normal or fast- and found it was a little slow for his liking... unlike his own, which was racing behind his carapace right now-

DUN DUN DUN DUN - DUN DUN DUN DUN

Mikey jumped out of his skin when he heard the ringtone, placing a hand above his heart. Donnie, really, why was your ringtone so loud? 

With shaky hands, he reached out to Donnie's belt and grabbed his phone, finding out it was Raph who was calling him- oh.

They had rung an alarm too. Mikey hadn't even checked his own T-phone yet.

He pressed call-

"Donnie!" He heard Raph's loud voice, sounding out of breath. "About time! Where are you guys?! We got ambushed and you two just disappeared!-"

"Raph." His own, steady voice sounded alien to him.

The hothead paused before he asked. "Mikey?"

"We were attacked too. Donnie's hurt." 

Ah. Now Mikey recognized this tone. Donnie always sounded like this when doing checkups on them.

"He's WHAT?!"

"Raph?" He heard from the background. "What's wrong? Are Donnie and Mikey okay?"

"They got attacked too! And Donnie is hurt!- wait, Mikey, you're not hurt right!?"

"No." He placed two fingers on Donnie's neck again. 

"Mikey." The phone was taken from Raph, and Leo's gentle voice was heard. "Stay where you are, okay little brother? We're on our way."

"Wasn't planning on moving, bro."

"..." 

Klick.

Putting the phone down, Mikey felt Donnie's shoulders, arms, carapace- not even sure what he was looking for but knowing he needed to do this checkup. It was to look for broken bones or abnormalities, that much he knew- but he had never done such a checkup before. He didn't know what was supposed to be normal and what not- but then again, Donatello hadn't known, either. Right? 

No, he would have known, probably. He was Donnie. He knew everything. 

Only once Mikey finally touched his head did he know something was wrong. 

Donnie whimpered the moment he made contact. So Michelangelo pulled away at once.

...Okay. His head was hurt... made sense, he hit his head! Mikey wanted to check his shell too but didn't wanna risk moving him. 

"Donnie!" He heard two voices at once and looked up with a blank expression. His two older brothers, one freaking out and the other scarily calm ran over, stopping just A couple of inches away. They looked at Michelangelo with surprise.

"His heart is slow. And his head is hurt." He reported, focusing back on Don. After a beat of silence, Leonardo bent down and gently patted his shoulder. 

"Let's get him on Raph's back, yeah? He's the strongest." 

Mikey nodded numbly and grabbed Donatello by his shoulders while cradling his head. Leo was on his other side, helping him carefully move the genius until they were sure Raph had him. The hothead was deadly silent- probably trying not to freak out, from the way he was biting his lip. Mikey reached down for Donnie's bo-staff and spoke.

"It's not too bad, Raph-" he reassured him and smiled. "I couldn't feel anything else bad and his breathing is becoming normal- it's probably a concussion, at best. And Donnie's stubborn!"

Wondering how his baby brother knew all this, Raph just nodded. Leo looked impressed, and gently patted his head. "Where were you attacked, otouto?" 

They started climbing the walls. 

"Far from here- I made sure to get away. You?"

"Remember that little park near that marketplace?"

"Out in the open," Raphael grumbled, eyes narrowed. The youngest frowned. Not their style...

Another gentle pat made him look up, Leo was about to say something else- when his eyes widened. "You said you weren't hurt."

"But- I'm not-?" Following his gaze, Mikey's eyes widened when he saw that he was. His side was bleeding- not having been visible in the dark before.

How... how had he not felt that-?

"Mikey?!" Raph's voice raised in pitch- and Michelangelo realized only now that no, him being so lightheaded and numb was not because of the state Donnie was in.

"...I'm fine." He smiled reassuringly, yelping when Leo picked him up.

"None of that. You already have low blood sugar and we have nothing to stop the bleeding with on us-"

"It's just a little cut!" Mikey crossed his arms, pointing to his side. "A bare scratch on the surface and none of my organs were hit."

"Better safe than sorry, otouto." 

"We're sitting ducks here!" Raphael almost yelled. Leo nodded- and the two started their run back home.

As they did, Mikey sank into Leo's hold, looking ahead of him. It hadn't been enough.

He had messed up again.

Chapter Text

"Leo, I told you, I'm fine-"

"I just want to take a look at your side, otouto, we can never be too sure-"

"Worry about yourself for a change!"

Splinter paid his sons no mind, instead focusing on the one in the bed- Donatello, and placing his paw back on his forehead. Needless to say, he had been worried when his four sons appeared panicked in their home, with one unconscious and the other bleeding- though after a quick check on his youngest, he had concluded that Michelangelo was indeed right. A cut that just happened to bleed a bit. It was probably because of its the size that his oldest had freaked out, which he could understand.

Raphael, the one most prone to anger, was currently staring at Donatello with a stoic expression, trying to breathe like how they did during meditation- and Splinter couldn't have been prouder of him, both for keeping his anger under control and learning how to calm himself. It had always been Leonardo who did meditation best.

Sliding his hand down the turtle's cheek, he placed two fingers onto a specific spot on his son's neck- and counted the number of beats he felt for about a minute once more. Then, he slid his hands down his shoulders, feeling all over his body. 

Michelangelo had said he had already done a checkup- although he had been hesitant because he had never done so before. Splinter had other reasons to hesitate about his son's words, but he did have a point. He had never done a checkup before. "I've read about it" he had said.

Since when did the nunchuck wielder read?

In the end, he came to the same conclusion Michelangelo had come up with- and finally, let go. He nodded to the one who watched his every move. "Do not worry, Raphael. Michelangelo is right. Your brother has just fainted is all. He will be alright."

His shoulders visibly sagged at that, all the tension that had been there before draining out of his body- and the turtle nodded.

"Mikey-"

"Let me check you."

The youngest grumbled, finally having had enough and forcefully grabbing Leo's arm. The oldest looked even more worried than before.

"Bur your side-"

"-is fine." He looked pleadingly at their Sensei. "Sensei, please tell Leo I'm fine so he will let me check on him?"

"...I did not know you had the medical knowledge to do so, my son,"

Mikey looked visibly upset when he said that, and crossed his arms, looking down. "Is it that hard to believe it's not just air up there?"

"Hey." Leo gently put a hand on his shoulder and tilted his head up with the other. "No one said you're stupid, otouto. I just want to be sure you are alright as well." 

"But I don't even feel it!"

"Exactly. That's not good, little brother." 

You're worrying him.

As if you didn't burden him enough!

"...How about you let me check you quickly. And then I let you check me as well?"

"That's exactly the thing you were doing before, bro."

"..." 

"Leonardo." Splinter turned to face him fully- and Mikey hated the way Leo stiffened the moment his name was spoken. "Michelangelo is alright, my son, I promise you. He just needs to shower to clean off the remaining blood, I'll disinfect it afterward. Let your brother check you."

"But..."

"You heard Sensei." Mikey grinned, happy to have his approval, for once. All the rat did was nod and sit down, signaling for Raph to sit beside him so he could be checked as well.

Still hesitant, Leo allowed the younger mutant to push him onto a chair, before reaching for the first-aid kit. What to first... well, his safest bet would probably be to check his heart rate too, right? 

So Mikey pressed two fingers into the specific spot on Leo's neck, tapping out the beats with his free hand on Leo's shoulder. He seemed to zone out and concentrate at the same time, just like he did when he was cooking. Although the leader looked surprised, he didn't comment.

Okay... his heart rate seemed okay-? It felt okay. How many beats per minute was okay again-?

Dang it.

Trying not to look upset, Mikey grabbed his T-phone and flashed the light into Leo's eyes. From the way Leo reacted by blinking and looking away, and how he saw his pupils shrink, Mikey safely concluded he wasn't hurt in the brain sense. 

He couldn't exactly check for blood pressure since he didn't know how Donnie's machines worked, so instead, he repeated what he had done before, and felt all over the turtle's body to make sure nothing was out of place. During all this time, he was quiet, eyes glassy yet mind-focused. 

Needless to say, his two brothers were surprised by the amount of concentration- or how much he looked like Donnie at that moment. Blank. Silent. 

The youngest was well aware of the eyes on him. He ignored it.

"..." The moment he was done, he snapped out of it and smiled up at the oldest. "So- what do ya think? On a scale of one to ten, how would you rate your check-up by Doctor Mikey?"

Leo snorted and gently patted his head. "Where did you learn all that, Doctor Mikey?"

"I read Donnie's books." 

"That book?" Raph sounded surprised, eyes widening. "The rusty one?"

"Yeah?"

"That thing was huge!"

"And?"

"..." 

"Now that we have determined each of you are alright-" the rat turned to the youngest. "Please shower, Michelangelo. I want to take care of that cut."

"Hai, Sensei!" Mikey was about to salute him- but caught sight of his brothers just in time. 

They wouldn't do that.

He bowed his head respectfully instead.

Being like Donnie hadn't been enough,

The turtle miserably thought, wincing when soap made contact with his side. Ow, ow, oookay-

Raph wouldn't let such a small cut bother him.

Neither would Leo.

He instantly covered his mouth to stop the whimpering. He didn't understand... he had studied so hard. He had been silent. Quiet. So why did it go wrong? 

He had been quiet, just like Leo.

He had thought- or tried to, like Donnie. Maybe that was why he messed up. He had sucked on the thinking part, closed his eyes, and did what he always did.

That's why it went wrong.

You didn't think.

But he tried.

It hadn't been enough. But why? Why?

It had only been fixed when he had finally managed to think of a plan, just like Donatello would have. Protect Donnie, waltz his way out of there- 

Wait-

Oh.

His eyes widened.

He... 

Fun that he had medical knowledge and all- but that was all he had focused on. Medical. Which was important and Mikey definitely didn't regret researching it nor would he stop- 

But that was handy for after battles.

Mikey growled, and almost slammed his head to the wall again, but stopped in time. That... would hurt, no doubt.

You deserve the pain.

He could help Donnie so much more-

If he prevented injuries from happening. Defended his brothers better.

Like Raph.

That's where it went wrong.

Mikey cursed himself for not thinking about this sooner- he had practiced thinking! How did he not think of this small detail?!

He had to be a better fighter. A better ninja.

Raph did most of the defense in their team- mostly thanks to his weapon being the sais, both also because of how protective he could get over his brothers. That's why Raph got hurt the most often. Even if Mikey kept almost dying- which the turtle realized, was totally his own fault. Because he was expecting to be defended.

Like a child.

Well- no more. 

He would still study his websites, Mikey decided. Because there just being one medic wasn't enough. It wasn't fair to Donnie.

But now, he also had a second plan that was sure to make him the perfect, silent brother and ninja he always tried to be. 

Be like Raph. 

"You are lucky, my son," Splinter mumbled, finishing up by wrapping the bandages around Mikey's torso. It really wasn't as bad as it looked. The cut was too big for a bandage, and as much as it wasn't that bad, Splinter hadn't wanted to risk the wound getting infected. So, the only way would be to wrap up his entire torso (or the height where the wound was) which, unfortunately, made him look much worse.

"Oh my shell." Looking up, Mikey saw Leo looking ready to throw up while Raph looked like he was about to murder someone. Who, he would never know.

"It's really not as bad as it looks-"

"You look like a mummy!"

"It's fine, bro."

"No, you're not!"

"Just look at him." Raph grabbed Leo by his mask tails before he could tackle-hug the youngest, and huffed. "See? He's standing. Sensei says he's fine."

"You were going on and on about how you'll kill "that kid" if he almost dies one more time-"

"I said he's fine."

Mikey couldn't help the teasing smile that grew on his face. "Aw, Raphie, were you worried about little old me?"

"No!"

Leo, who stood behind Raph, nodded. Mikey giggled and winked.

The hot head grumbled something under his breath, crossing his arms- before his eyes fell on the unconscious turtle in the cot. "...And Donnie?"

"He's gonna be fine," Mikey answered before Splinter could, leaning back slightly. "He didn't hit his head too bad and master Splinter checked him out- he just needs some rest. The best would be to let him sleep."

"You said he fell on his shell-"

"Already checked for cracks or bleeding. Nada." 

"..." confused, the oldest two shared a look, before Leo shrugged, and smiled. "I didn't know you knew so much about the medical world, Mikey."

"..." Mikey looked away slightly. Splinter cleared his throat, gaining their attention once more.

"I still think you would benefit from spending the night here, my son." He said, gently stroking Donnie's head. "Just in case." 

"I'm staying here too." 

"'I'm not worried', he said." Mikey snickered, ignoring Raph, who was glaring daggers at him. Leo gently patted Raph's shell. 

"No need to worry, little brother. I'll keep an eye out, you got hurt too-"

"You threw yourself in front of them!"

"I was defending you."

"Well, don't. I am gonna look after-"

"No, I will-"

"Neither of you needs to stay!" Mikey huffed and glared. "You're just gonna stay up all night if you do- don't look at me like that bro, you know you will." Both Raph and Leo looked away. Mikey's expression softened.

"Look. We'll be fine. If anything happens, I'll wake you up. Okay?"

"But Mikey..."

"Michelangelo is right, my sons." The mentioned turtle blinked in surprise. Splinter? Agreeing with him? "They are both fine, I promise you. They just need rest and time to heal."

Splinter turned towards the youngest. "Do you think you and Donatello will be fine on your own?"

Mikey couldn't help the smile that appeared on his face.

He was being trusted.

His plan hadn't been a total failure after all.

He may not have been the best ninja out of the four.

But he was still a ninja.

And injured or not, villains, the Shredder or foot, didn't matter- none of them waited for recovery. So neither would Michelangelo.

Now, he wasn't stupid. Training probably wasn't the best idea (not yet, anyway) so that left him with his original plan, for now.

Study, study, study.

Be as good of a medic as Donnie. 

He would train later. Once his side didn't give him pins or needless sensation and once his head stopped hurting. His mind had been vogue these past days anyway... nothing some more coffee wouldn't fix. 

After having snuck out and grabbed his book and a cup, Mikey slipped back inside medbay and sat back down in the bed prepared for him. He found it stupid, really. He was fine. He didn't need to rest! Donnie was hurt, not stupid, idiotic Michelangelo.

Speaking of Donnie...

Halfway through a chapter, when his mind wandered off and Mikey slammed his head against the book again, did he register the snoring of his older brother, and relaxed slightly. Maybe he should refrain from the self-ha- hitting himself. This wasn't... that. This was totally different. This was good. 

It made him useful.

Yet something told him his brother wouldn't approve of his... methods, to learn... he was out of coffee anyway... 

Sighing, Mikey closed his book and put it in his blankets, before he got up, and made his way to the other bed. A final check wouldn't hurt, right?

Repeating what he had done so many times tonight, Mikey checked his pulse, temperature, and breathing... satisfied that Donnie was still okay. A reassurance, that his brother was gonna be alright.

Mikey stretched, about to snuggle into his bed again- 

Raph would have waited until he got better.

Images of Raphael sitting in front of a tub for hours, waiting for Leonardo to open his eyes again popped into Mikey's mind, making him freeze and forget to breathe. 

None of them liked to remember those times. But it's what Raph had done.

"..." hesitantly, he looked at Donnie.

Before he pulled up a chair.

Donnie hadn't been really happy when he woke up to Michelangelo awake and waiting for him, but he was sick- so did that matter? Mikey was just glad someone was watching over him.

And even better- since Donnie had been so out of it, no one had taken a word he said seriously! So that was good! He had been told to rest, the other three brothers taking over his chores and supply runs until he got better.

It had been four days since Mikey had been released from medbay. Donnie was finally off the hook today. The youngest, of course, had spent his time well.

By training.

A new routine that seemed to work- train during the day, study at night, and cook in between. He didn't want to wake anyone up, after all. 

Granted, he had gotten some weird looks and a couple of glances when someone spotted him in the dojo instead of literally anywhere else, but who cares? 

Right now, he was trying to improve his stance. 

He had lost it on the training dummies, the last couple of days, but then realized his punches wouldn't improve if he didn't fix the way he stood. He was supposed to be defensive, after all.

So, with a mirror in front of him, he practiced, trying to remember how Raph always stood before him. That wasn't hard. The older one had protected him many times.

That's a bad thing.

Fix it.

Now... the hard part.

Have his reflexes take this posture instead of his usual one, ready to flee or attack. The defense was good. Needed.

Ease the burden of the others.

Be useful.

"Yo, Mikey!" Mikey stilled his practice once he heard Raphael call for him, and looked up from the mirror. The older snorted at the sight. "What ya doing, Mike?"

"Checking out these amazing abs." The younger was quick to brag, despite the fact he had felt more disgusted by his reflection the more he had looked. "Don't I look great?"

He snorted again. "Sure you do. I and Don are gonna try and break Leo's record, wanna join?"

"No, thanks." He walked to the other side of the dojo, reaching for his chucks. He didn't see the way Raphael frowned.

"...You sure?"

"Hm!" The difference between training and learning was that his mind was forced to stay focused. If he drifted off during his studies, he needed to hit himself to come back. But during training, if he wasn't focused enough, his nunchucks would immediately rain down upon him, forcing him to come back. 

Training went much easier than learning. 

The red-banded turtle looked concerned. "...Hey."

"Hm?" He looked up.

"You've been locking yourself up a lot in here these days... you good?" Asked the older, leaning against the doorframe. Mikey smiled reassuringly. 

"Promise." 

"...Okay." he sighed and walked out of the room. Mikey took a deep breath in and out, before taking the correct stance.

If someone gets injected with something venomous, you were supposed to put pressure on the wound to make sure it wouldn't spread, lay down in a comfortable position and remove any wraps or other clothing, if they were wearing those. Wash the wound with soap and water, before bandaging it up.

Right now, Mikey was practicing the amount of pressure he needed to use on himself if this were to happen, testing when the pressure went from just pressure to painful. Never safe enough, after all! 

Once he was sure he got the right amount of pressure, he would practice wrapping it up with his blanket. He couldn't risk ruining any good bandages, after all. 

But during his practice, the turtle yawned again. He huffed. His mind was focused, for once in his life, not a single thought screaming at him to do something else. However, with how tired he felt, his brain was turning voggy and head heavy, making it harder and harder to focus on the task at hand.

Coffee.

He was starting to understand why Donatello loved coffee so much. 

Rubbing his eyes, Michelangelo walked through the lair, not paying any attention to his surroundings. Until he heard the sound of a door opening.

He froze in his steps and looked behind him.

Just in time to see a turtle walk out of the lair, and disappear into the sewers. 

"..." silently, Mikey crept behind him.

Mikey was too far away to see his expression, but from the red bandana, he could tell the turtle he was following was Raph. 

This was just a... strange route they were taking... 

He didn't recognize where they were, and was kinda hoping Raph did- and was not doing what he thought he was doing. 

It wouldn't be the first time that one of his brothers ran away. But Mikey didn't think he could survive that again. 

They seemed to be going towards... a pharmacy?

The youngest blinked with surprise when he saw Raph was, in fact, headed towards that small building, open a vent, and sneak inside.

What would Raph need to go to a pharmacy for?

Was he hurt?

Getting suspicious and worried, Mikey jumped after him and snuck inside. 

Raph wasn't in the front... was he in the back? 

Passing through a door, he peaked.

Yeah, he was. 

Michelangelo was surprised when he saw his older brother, holding a bag, and putting a couple of boxes inside. Stealing...? 

Okay, Raph may be many things. But a thief he was not. Now he was actually worried.

He cleared his throat.

The other jumped out of his skin, sais pointed towards the source of the noise at once- but relaxed when he saw it was just Mikey. 

"Mikey! What the shell?!" He whispered yet yelling at him, his panicked expression turning into an angry one. "What the shell are you doing here?!" 

"Could ask you the same thing, bro." He crossed his arms, unimpressed. He could tell Raphael didn't like that answer. 

"I asked you first."

"You went out first!"

"Yeah, and you're bothering me now!"

Ow.

He tried not to let the hurt show. "Dude, you know you can't leave the lair without telling anyone! You know how dangerous that is!"

"Oh, I'm supposed to ask for permission now?"

"No!" He groaned. "You're supposed to let us know so we know where you are! You know how dangerous it is, with the foot clan and stuff!"

"So you think you're Leo now?" Raph scoffed. Mikey groaned again.

"I'm saying it's dangerous, Raph." 

"Sure is! For a klutz like you, maybe." Without looking at him, the hothead grabbed his bag and walked towards the door to try and get away from him, to the vent next door. 

He didn't see the hurt in Mikey's eyes, and the youngest walked after him. "Raph, this isn't about how capable you are! This is different!"

"How so?" Raph groaned. Mikey looked at the door.

He saw the sensors at the door a second too late. "RAPH, WAIT-"

Too late. 

Alarm bells rang all around them as the turtle walked through them, making them both freeze in their steps. 

So much for being a ninja. 

Mikey looked up and saw Raph had turned a different shade of green, eyes wide and hands slack.

Protect him. Now.

Okay, there was no fighting. Cameras, were there cameras?

"Raph, go," Mikey instructed, but noticed the other wasn't hearing him, frozen in shock. So he towered himself over him, eyes turning into white slits with a blink as he looked around.

There was one in this room. 

Quickly pushing Raph towards the vent, he jumped and used his nunchucks to try and cut through the cable. It was too late to shatter the screen, it already had the footage. They had to break the camera altogether. 

That wasn't easy, with the metal bars around it- but he managed.

The ringing of the alarms only got louder, it was starting to hurt his ears.

"RAPH!" He yelled again, making the older finally snap out of his trance. "Get out of here man!"

"Mikey, I-"

"Go!"

Not waiting to see if he left, Mikey ran into the next room. Three. He broke those too. 

He should probably break the camera at the front too, just in case. 

So he ran- and was surprised to find a small bag with money on the counter.

Raph... hadn't been stealing? 

No time to think about it.

Don't think. Protect.

Two more cameras from what he could see. These took a little less time to break, which was fortunate. Because Mikey could hear sirens from outside.

Not wanting to deal with any scientists today, Michelangelo grabbed a smoke bomb out of his belt.

The store was empty when the police arrived, save for a couple of coins on the counter.

The adrenaline finally faded when he was outside- and Mikey gasped out a big air of relief. That... that had been close.

From the top of the building he was sitting on, he could see the police cars in the distance, and hear the sirens as bright as day.

...Actually. His head was starting to hurt now. 

And it was cold.

Immediately, medical knowledge and treatments popped up in his mind, but Mikey shook those thoughts away. Not now. He had to find his big brother, first. 

So he got up and jumped around for a couple of minutes until he heard the other ninja in a dark alleyway. What was it with them and dark alleyways?

"Raph?" He jumped down, put his chucks in his belt, and slowly walked towards him. Raph was curled up on the ground, shaking like a leaf, bag abandoned. "You with me, bro?"

...

He sat on the ground. Needing to keep his mind occupied, Mikey started counting and rocking back and forth. 

By the time he had reached eighty-three did Raph finally come to, slowly looking up, confused. "Mikey?" 

The younger turtle stopped counting and smiled. "Hey." 

"..." Raphael looked away. Mikey's gaze shifted to the bag.

"...I, uhm. Sorry. For freezing up on ya." 

"All good, big bro!"

...

"...You paid for them."

"I wasn't about to steal." 

"But why were you after medicine, bro? Are you hurt?" His smile fell. Raph opened and closed his mouth... before he just shoved the bag towards him. Frowning, Mikey looked inside.

Painkillers. There were some other types of medicine in there too, but mostly painkillers.

"We were out of them." The older said with a low voice, refusing to meet his gaze. "And I know this was a dangerous move on my part- but Donnie is not exactly in the right mind to be able to calculate when and how we're gonna get them, with his science stuff."

"How did you know we were out of painkillers, Raph?"

"Donnie used all of them up. What if one of ya needed them?"

Mikey looked unimpressed. The other shrank.

Before he sighed and looked away with shame as he unwrapped his wrist-guard, holding out-

"Raph!" Mikey cried out in shock, immediately taking Raph's hand into his own. His wrist was more purple than green, and slightly swollen. "When did this happen?!" 

"Couple days back." He wouldn’t face him. "During a supply run... I got stopped by the Foot."

"The Foot?!" Supply run? A couple of days ago? But Raph's turn was last week-

No. 

Raph did go on a supply run. 

Donnie's supply run. 

"And you just left your hand this way?!" Mikey gently turned his wrist, not touching yet. "It looks broken!"

"Donnie was sick... he needs medicine." He finally looked up. "I wasn't gone for just painkillers..."

"Me? Master Splinter?" 

"Sensei would tell me to 'rest' and didn't think you would know how to handle it."

Ow.

"Ow!"

"Sit still." Shushed the younger, gently feeling around. "...Ice."

"Ice?"

"We're gonna go home. And I'm gonna get you ice to soak your hand in." He thought. "...And a splint. With some wraps. And you're gonna let Donnie scan your wrist."

"..." he made the older face him when he looked away with shame. "Hey."

"Sorry."

"None of that." Michelangelo smiled kindly and helped Raph up. He took the bag the other had dropped. "You're also taking some painkillers once we're home." 

Raphael seemed to be done talking. Mikey was okay with that.

Instead, he took his non-injured hand, and led him back towards the rooftops, trying to remember his way back. 

"That way." Raph pointed in another direction and took the lead. The younger turtle smiled- and winced when he felt how jumping around made his head hurt.

He said nothing. 

Chapter Text

"Your hand!"

Mikey paid Leo's screeching no mind as he filled his bowl with ice-cold water. 

Raph was refusing to look at any of them, arm stretched out and injured hand in Donnie's gentle ones. He carefully turned his wrist over and touched the injury. Raph winced.

"I would need to scan it to be sure... but yes, it's likely broken."

Michelangelo opened the freezer and smiled softly at Icecream Kitty who meowed happily once she saw him. But then noticed how tired he looked, her happy meows shifting into worried ones.

"It's okay, kitty-kitty." He gently scratched her chin. "Cubes?"

The cat complied, turning around and grabbing arms full of ice cubes. He dumped them into the bowl. "Thank you!"

"When did this happen?!" Leo was in hysterics, right now in that dangerous zone between the biggest brother and leader. A zone where he was always worried about what, especially about their well-being, but still ready to act cold and patronize them around to make sure incidents didn't happen again. Mikey always hated it when this happened. It always ended up with the oldest two fighting.

"..." Raph, however, seemed to have no energy to fight back for once and kept his mouth shut. Leonardo didn't seem to notice and continued his rant. 

"That was dangerous, Raph!" The leader cried, pacing left and right. "You wouldn't be able to handle your sais if you got attacked- your hand must hurt, doesn't it? How long have you been in pain?! Why?!"

"Hand, please." Mikey set the bowl on the table. Again, there were no arguments, and the hothead did as he was told. 

"You got these for... me...?" Donnie sounded guilty. 

Splinter walked back into the kitchen, making three out of four shut up- except for Leonardo, who continued his pacing. 

"Raphael." The oldest finally stopped his ranting at the sound of his father and looked up. 

Raph looked away with shame.

Mikey wasn't even aware when all three of the others looked away too. 

"What happened out there, today?" His tone was even, yet the turtle couldn't help but flinch.

"I... uhm..." 

Mikey gently put a hand on his shoulder. Raph breathed in and out before he dared to look up again.

"I went on a supply run. We were out of painkillers and medicine- Donnie needed them."

"You went to get those for me?" The genius' voice raised in pitch, guilt doubling ten-fold. 

"And you went out alone?" Disappointment was evident in his voice, making his son look down again with shame.

"Ye-"

"No." 

Raphael looked up with surprise. Mikey was gently squeezing his shoulder and looked their father right in the eyes.

"He asked me to come with him because he knew it was dangerous to go topside alone." Michelangelo lied, not even aware at the moment of what he was doing. Lying? To their Sensei? "But I didn't know his wrist was hurt, I would have never let him go out otherwise. Sorry."

"...No one saw you, I hope..?"

"You trained us well."

"..." Splinter sighed with relief and reached out to gently cup Raph's cheek. "Raphael."

Once he had his son's gaze once more did the rat speak. "Although I am not happy with this predicament- I'm glad you're safe and unharmed. Am I right to assume you learned your lesson and won't do this again?"

"...Yes, Sensei." And he bowed his head. Mikey sighed with relief- unaware of Leo watching him suspiciously.

Training continued, much to their dismay. Even if the duo had been out most of the day, their father declared that since they "chose" to go out, this will be an acceptable punishment. Which the youngest supposed was fair. The stunt they pulled was still dangerous.

...Well, on Raph's part, anyway.

Though Mikey supposed he should have told someone instead of sneaking after his older brother. 

Raph, however, was forced to sit aside, unable and not allowed to join training out of fear of injuring his wrist further. He claimed he was good to go, but a look from the rest of his family forced him to sit aside, leaving him confused and guilt-filled.

To say Michelangelo was tired would be an understatement.

He hadn't slept well for days, which added with that he didn't sleep at all today and he hadn't been able to get his coffee- he was asleep on his feet. 

Still, focus was forced- even if he couldn't keep it for long, making him more confused.

He hit himself on 'accident' with his chucks multiple times during sparring... so why wouldn't his focus snap back? 

Why didn't it work?

"Michelangelo?" 

He found himself only responding with slow blinks. "Sorry, Sensei,"

"Your lack of focus is starting to concern me, my son." Splinter looked him right in the eyes, his gaze making the younger shrink. "Even more so than usual."

Oh. 

Great job, moron!

"It won't happen again." How he didn't know. But he had to find a new method for how to focus. Fast.

If he didn't, he would fall behind. He wouldn’t be able to study to help Donnie, he wouldn’t be able to help Raph by learning more of his moves-

He would disappoint them.

Again.

If anyone noticed his silent panic, no one commented on it. Instead, Splinter decided they would now spar.

"Donatello." The second-youngest looked up once he was called.

"I want you to spar against me to see if your coordination is back." When Donnie nodded in response and made moves to get up, Splinter turned to the final two. "Leonardo."

"Hai, Sensei." The duo bowed and got up as well, and moved to the other side of the room. 

Don't fight how you always do. Fight like how you practiced.

So the moment Splinter yelled for them to start- 

Mikey charged.

Leo was clearly surprised, blocking the attack in less than a second, forced into defense. Michelangelo paid him no mind and instead rained in nunchucks upon his arms.

Mikey could beat Leo if he wanted to. On rare days, if he concentrated enough, he could. 

He just instead always pretended to lose, letting Leo take the win. This wasn't because Leo would be upset if Mikey won- not at all.

...Well, okay, maybe a little bit- but that was a given. No, Mikey let Leo win for different reasons.

The way the leader's face would light up when Splinter praised him, just for a second, looking like the happy kid he should have been, hating himself just a little less and maybe even proud of himself in those moments-

That's why Mikey always let him win. 

Not because Leo couldn't stand losing.

But because of how proud he would become of himself. 

It honestly always warmed his heart to see that smile.

Now, however...

He was honestly having trouble staying in their present time, mind heavy and eyes threatening to slip close- he found himself almost blacking out enough times and even hits from his chucks didn't seem to bring him back.

The turtle yelped when the other almost sliced him in half, managing to dodge just in time before the dojo turned into a bloodbath. Panting, he looked up and saw Leo looking just as shocked as he did. 

"..." The leader lowered his katana and put it back in his belt, before stepping forward and grabbing his cheeks. Mikey hummed questioningly as Leo turned his face left and right, gaze so intense the younger felt uncomfortable. "Ani?"

"...Are you alright, otouto?" Leo finally let go, concern burning behind those blue eyes. Michelangelo frowned.

"Yeah? Something wrong, bro?" 

Internally, Mikey was screaming.

Why is he asking me that?

It's because you messed up, idiot! 

"Are you sure?" The older didn't seem convinced, looking at him intensely. 

"Yeah!"

"..."

"Yame!" Splinter yelled, making them all stop. Mikey inwardly cheered.

Perfect timing.

"Is Donnie okay?" Mikey asked before Leo could interrogate him further, running towards where their father and other brother were. Behind him, Leo was about to reach out but stopped. And made eye contact with Raphael.

"Your brother is alright," Splinter announced, making Mikey whoop and swoop him into a hug. Donnie looked and hugged back. "I think it is safe to conclude Donatello will be able to join on missions again." 

"Told you so.' The genius whispered, making Mikey giggle. 

As much as Michelangelo wanted nothing more than to close his eyes, he had something important he had to take care of, first.

Finding new ways to focus, for example. 

Figure out why he was still messing up.

Yawning, he made sure to silently creep around like how he was trained to do and snuck into the kitchen. Letting a pot of coffee brew, he opened the freezer- being greeted with a happy meow.

"Hi, Kitty." He took her bowl and scratched her head, then sat down at the table. "Hope you weren't too bored without me in there." He got cut off by a yawn.

The cat meowed worriedly once more and patted his cheeks. Mikey shivered at the cold, yet smiled and booped her nose. "I'm okay, kitty. Promise. I just have some things I need to take care of, first."

"Meeeoow!"

"I'm fine."

"Meow!" Michelangelo huffed.

"You sound just like Leo." He grumbled, but couldn't help scratching her head. The cat purred.

...Actually...

She was just like Leo...

It felt weird to compare Leonardo to a cat, but really- they were similar...

Mikey frowned. Before he froze.

Be like Leonardo.

He stopped his scratching.

Focus wasn't Raph's thing, or Donnie's. Sure, they could focus if they needed to- but Leo was best at it.

What did Leo always do?

...

A smile broke on his face. Now he was getting somewhere.

The coffeepot dinged, letting the turtle know it was done, and got up to pour himself a cup. He could hear Kitty meow disapprovingly behind him as he took a sip.

"Sorry, Kitty." He smiled reassuringly. "I promise once I fix myself I will sleep- I have to test something, first."

He was terrible at meditation, sure. He couldn't keep his thoughts silent and kept rocking his body one way or another, tapping a finger- he couldn't sit still.

But he had practiced. Yes, he couldn't focus anymore- but sitting silently he could. And with how weighted down his body and mind felt, the turtle doubted he could drift off into his fantasy land. 

So just maybe...

Yes, perfect.

He got up, bid Ice Cream Kitty goodnight, and put her back in the freezer. 

If Leo could focus and plan... and his solution to everything was almost always meditating...

Perhaps he should give it a try again?

Best of all... no one would witness him failing.

So, after refilling his coffee, Michelangelo snuck into the dojo once more. And sat down, legs crossed.

Now... what was he supposed to do?

Leo always said to "find your center" so like- his chest? 

He grumbled. He was supposed to be smart, not stupid. But honestly, he never understood what that meant. 

Okay, Michelangelo, you got this... just close your eyes... breathe in and out... in and out... in and out-

He breathed wrongly, which made him start coughing. Loudly. 

Immediately, the turtle covered his mouth, trying his darndest to keep silent while cursing himself mentally.

Well- great.

You can't even breathe right!

Yes, Michelangelo had always had trouble breathing- or those random moments he would sometimes have where his lungs refused to take in air, making him choke and his heart speed up, convincing him he will die on the spot- which was stupid.

With a couple of hard knocks against his plastron, Mikey managed to steady his breathing. And he grumbled. 

What kind of idiot has trouble breathing?

Leo wouldn't have let this happen.

"..." the youngest pouted, upset.

Who was he kidding? He would never be like his brothers.

He would never learn to sit still. He would never learn to quiet his thoughts. He would never learn to concentrate and focus. He would never be smart, like Donnie. Strong, like Raph. Fearless, like Leo.

He was just stupid, mess-everything-up Mikey. It would always stay that way. How did he ever think he could be anything else?

He should probably just give up and get rid of himself while he had the chance. 

Aware that he was about to pass out, Mikey sighed and got up. No... don't be that way. It took time and effort... perhaps meditation wouldn't work for him, but it never did. It was stupid to think it would this time.

He should probably go to bed and get all the sleep he could get. His arms had started shaking from how much cafeïne he had in his system.

Tomorrow.

He would find other ways to be like the oldest.

Watch Space Heroes? No, already did that...

Ask Splinter for advice? No, he wouldn’t be taken seriously.

Drink more tea-? But he had his coffee!

Michelangelo stopped his stroll and resisted the urge to throw himself on the floor. They had breakfast, they had their daily training session- and he still couldn't find ways to improve his concentration! 

He could always try meditation again. Give it another go. Chances were high Leo was in the dojo as well, so maybe he could pretend to be doing something else and try to memorize what he did?

It was worth a try...

To no one's surprise, Leo was indeed in the dojo, sitting crossed-legged and eyes closed, hands folded in his lap. He looked up once he heard the other enter. "Mikey?"

"Hey, Leo." The youngest smiled tiredly. He felt his heart warm at the happy smile he received from his older brother, who patted the spot beside him.

"Wanna come meditate with me?"

Leo, I love you.

Inwardly cheering, Mikey nodded and sat down at the spot he had been assigned. The leader looked a bit surprised at that, before looking pleased and taking his stance once more. "Find your center." 

He still didn't know what that meant.

Instead, he copied the exact way Leo sat- and closed his eyes.

And sat... and sat... sitting... sitting...

Wait, what was that tapping? 

Opening his eyes, Mikey paled, realizing he had been unconsciously tapping his finger on the floor.

Nooooooooo!

God dammit. 

He grumbled to himself. Seriously? Sit. Still! You practiced sitting still, you had done it right before! Why not now?!

Probably because of the amount of coffee he consumed... yeah, that must be it. One of the side effects of too much coffee would be restlessness and shakiness, he had read about it, along with insomnia, dehydration, a faster heartbeat-

You're distracted.

He flinched, about to scream with frustration- when a gentle hand on his shoulder made his head snap up.

Leo was looking at him with gentle concern, apparently having moved closer to the younger. When did he do that?!

"Are you alright, otouto?" He asked softly, yet it only made his insides crawl and go find a wall to slam his head against. Stupid stupid stupid!

How stupid must he be?! 

It's not so hard to FOCUS, you- you...!

"Hey, hey." The older gently patted his cheek and noticed the way his body shook. "Are you cold?"

"Hm- no." He smiled immediately, but that did nothing to calm Leo's concern.

"...You've been more distracted lately." He observed, and Mikey's heart shattered at those words. "Are you alright?"

Leo meant well, Mikey knew that.

But more distracted?

Splinter had noticed, too.

The point of trying to meditate was to learn to focus. Because if he didn't- everything he did the past few days would be for nothing. He wouldn’t be able to concentrate on studying and mess up, he wouldn’t be able to keep the correct stance-

At least he was silent, still. Michelangelo didn't know if he could handle messing up everything-

"Mikey?" Fingers were snapped in front of his face, pulling him back to the present. Leonardo looked concerned now. "Maybe you should take a nap, little brother? You look tired." 

The turtle took the excuse in a heartbeat, nodding in agreement and pretty much sprinting out of the dojo, ignoring the burning behind his eyes.

Why couldn't he get it right?

"Mikey!" The youngest whined at the shouting, which only made his headache worse. Turning down the flame under the pot, he still looked over his shoulder and smiled calmly at Donatello.

Calmly. Wow.

"Are you ready to go?" The smartest asked, bo-staff in his hands. Mikey frowned.

"Go where?"

"...Patrol?"

"... That's now?"

"...Are you alright?" Donnie slightly tilted his head to get a better look at him, eyes narrowed. Mikey giggled and turned around to turn the fire off.

"Yeah, yeah- you know me! I'm good to go, dude!" 

Before Donnie could say anything else, Leo walked inside, swinging his arms. "Alright, let's go."

"You managed to convince Raph to stay?" Donnie sounded surprised.

The oldest shrugged. "Nope. Locked him in his room."

"..." Donatello opened and closed his mouth, before deciding to keep silent, and just walked out. Mikey snickered, covering his beak. 

"He's gonna kill you, man."

"Like to see him try," Leo smirked, eyes gleaming as he followed the second-youngest. Mikey was quick to follow.

Cold.

That's the only thought Mikey had as they jumped from rooftop to rooftop, more awake than he had been these past couple of days.

The cold seemed to make him sort of focus. Not really. Not perfectly.

But the cold air cutting into his body, his head, and his brain, seemed to make all his thoughts and daydreams come to a halt, forcing him to stay in the present. 

Use this information.

Be smart.

His technique was working after all.

"Mikey! Keep up!"

Maybe he should work on speed next.

The turtle braced himself before making a long jump, attempting to run with his brothers, not after them.

...Hadn't he been faster before?

"There you are." If Mikey saw Leo and Donnie exchange glances, he pretended not to. 

The three of them crouched on a rooftop, silently watching. "This is where I and Raph got attacked," Leo explained, pointing to an open field. Donnie frowned.

"That's not their style..."

"It's not, no."

"..." 

If they were waiting for Mikey to comment or make a joke, they could wait a long time. Again, the two shared a look of worry, making Mikey start to feel uncomfortable. 

"Ahem." The genius coughed and decided that he was done waiting around, jumping off the roof. The other two followed, ending up in the center of the park.

Instincts to stick to the shadows screamed at all three of them, yet they refused. Even if it was uncomfortable to be out in the open. 

"In that building, they at least seemed to be searching for something..." Donnie hummed, looking around. Mikey did the same- eyes catching onto something shiny. And immediately, he shook his head.

Don't get distracted. Stay in the present.

"You don't think it's anti-mutagen again, right?" The youngest whined, not wanting to repeat all... that. His older brother shivered.

"It better not."

"What would they even want anti-mutagen for?" The leader didn't even want to think about it, walking around. The younger two winced.

Hopefully it wasn't what they thought it was...

Something else shiny caught Mikey's eye. This time, a different location, higher up.

He looked away. Don't get distracted, Michelangelo, woke one probably lost a necklace or something and now light is shining on it...

.......In the dark?

He stopped his pacing. And slowly looked up.

"...Leo?" Once he had his brother's attention, Mikey pointed. Leo narrowed his eyes.

"...They're all over the park." Donnie hummed, reaching for his bo-staff. 

That shine was... red...

Leo took one second to look.

And next thing he knew, he was charging toward Mikey, and knocked them both down. Michelangelo couldn't help but yelp.

Not even a second later, the firing of something was heard, something shiny and bright flying over them, where Mikey had stood a second earlier. 

"Donnie they're weapons!" Leo shouted, shielding himself over the youngest, who was frozen with shock. Donatello, smartly, had thrown himself on the floor the second he heard it, covering his head.

And then the firing started.

Mikey finally snapped out of it and was painfully aware he was being shielded.

That stupid, self-sacrificial-

"LEO!" He cried out, struggling and attempting to get free. No, no, no, no no no no no-

I take it back. I hate you.

"Leo your shell!" He yelled, trapped underneath his older brother. Leo didn't budge, eyes tightly closed and not even attempting to shield his head in favor of shielding Mikey. 

Which was stupid.

This is why Donnie is the brains, bro.

Before anyone could get hurt, however, a crack! was heard, before the sounds of hitting and slamming. And then silence. 

The firing stopped.

...

...

...

Slowly, Leo got up, only to be shoved by Mikey. "Ow! What was that for?!"

"I can shield myself!" He yelled, hitting Leo's shoulder a couple of times. Donnie grumbled and used his staff to get back on his feet.

"That was... unexpected."

"You think?" Leo got up as well, looking around. "What were those, Donnie?" 

"Confetti canons." The younger deadpanned, before groaning. "How am I supposed to know?!" 

"Shh." Mikey shushed, his attention caught by the rustling from further away. The other two listened, holding their breath. 

"..."

With a blink, their pupils disappeared, leaving white slits in their place. Reaching for their weapons, Leo stepped forward, while Donnie and Mikey snuck behind him. 

They stopped in front of multiple bushes and some trees. Without words, Leo pointed left while looking at Donnie, right while looking at Mikey, and then pointed forward for himself. Taking the hint, the turtles went in the direction they were told.

Attack smartly. Think.

Hm...

Mikey looked up.

No one would expect him from high up...

It took no effort to climb the tree at all, and he started his jumping from branch to branch, as light as a feather and silent as a fish. From his position, he could see a figure trying to sneak away. Yet with no light at all, he couldn't tell who it was.

From afar, he saw Donatello hiding behind another tree, eyes concentrated on the stranger. Leo had somehow managed to creep behind them, katanas at the ready.

Then he held out his hand.

One finger down.

Two.

He balled his fist. They understood the silent message.

And at once, all three of them jumped on them.

For once, Mikey didn't yell his catchphrase.

And now, he realized, that he messed up by choosing a high advantage point. 

For Donnie was charging towards them from the other side to grab them. Mikey was doing the same.

The figure turned their head sharply, just in time to see Donatello crashing into them, Mikey falling on top of the duo within the next second, causing them to go crashing down. Leo, who had been about to stand heroically and dramatically point his katana, yelped in surprise when they came flying down, the stranger's leg swooping up his own, causing him to shout and collapse on all three of them.

"Ugh..."

"Owww..."

In his mind, Michelangelo was cursing at himself.

Stupid, dumb-

"Raph?" Donnie gasped, the red bandana having covered his eyes. The stranger- Raphael, shouted angrily.

"Get off of me!"

"I'm trying!" Mikey whined but was unable to wiggle free as his arm was pinned down by Leo's shell. Which was heavy. 

You don't feel pain you don't feel pain-

"You're crushing me!"

"I can't move unless Mikey gets off of me!"

"Well Leo is pinning me down I'm stuck!"

"Hamato Leonardo get off of me-!"

Raph's angry shout made Leo process what the situation was and immediately rolled off his siblings. Mikey was the next to jump away. Donnie was the final one to get off, and the red-banded turtle sat up the moment he was free, immediately grabbing his wrist and wincing. 

The two medics immediately noticed, scooting closer. "Did you land on your wrist?"

"Let me see..." Donnie murmured and took his hand. Michelangelo looked away with shame.

So much for thinking of a plan... he had been so sure he got it this time.

"...Well, the good news is it looks the same." The genius hummed, and let go. Raph snatched his hand back, looking at the ground. Leo, the only one on two feet, spoke.

"Did you follow us here?"

"You would have become fish dinner if I didn't."

"Raphael!" Leo's voice raised in volume, and Mikey couldn't help but cover his ears. He never liked yelling. 

You can't even handle yelling-?

No. It wasn't just yelling he was hearing. Confused, he looked up. Donnie looked just as thoughtful as he did.

Was that... beeping?

"What are you doing here?!" The leader bit sharply, unaware of the rising danger around them. Raph, just as ignorant, growled and got up to look him in the eyes.

"Being a ninja."

"With an injured wrist?! How are you supposed to defend yourself if you can't even hold your sais?!"

"Who are you to talk about self-defense, Fearless Leader?" Raph crossed his arms. Leo gaped.

"What is that supposed to-"

Click

The four froze. 

No one dared to move, not even an inch. Leo's voice was blank when he spoke. 

"...Donnie."

"Yes."

"We are being targeted."

"I can see that, Leo."

"What do we do?"

"Aren't we supposed to ask you, Fearless?"

"Not now, Raph."

It was only because of the adrenaline Mikey could keep his eyes open. Okay... let's try again.

The foot doesn't use... those kinds of weapons. So not the foot. Tigerclaw? Or worse, a human?

The clicking of a gun was heard. Multiple red dots were pointed at them. Leo screamed.

"Forget the plan run!!!"

He grabbed Raph's non-injured hand and ran. The youngest two shot up from the ground at the same time and started sprinting.

Mikey shivered at the gunshots from behind.

"Did anyone see their faces?!" Leo asked, only to be met by disappointment.

"Just the glowy red light!" Mikey called. Donnie agreed. The two were forced to separate when bullets flew between them. "Woah!"

They could follow them?!

"Okay, split up!"

"Hai!"

And they separated.

Donnie jumped down, Raph went left, Mikey right, and Leo straightforward. The firings still followed.

The turtle tried to get a glimpse of their attackers- but again, all he could see was the red light. "It's like they're invisible!"

"Well that's stupid!" came Raph's voice from his wrist-com.

"You have NO RIGHT to talk!"

"Says Mr. Self-sacrifice."

"I was PROTECTING him!-"

"These two..." Mikey heard Donnie groan. He could already imagine him rolling his eyes. "Why am I the only sane one in this family?"

"Suddenly I don't exist." Mikey made a sharp turn left, making as many twists and turns as possible to hopefully get whatever that was off his tail.

"How did you even get out of your room!?" The oldest two continued to fight. The youngest two groaned.

"You may be the leader but you're not the smartest, Leo."

"Excuse me?"

"You put a CHAIR in front of my CURTAIN."

"...Leo." Mikey sounded unimpressed.

"For the love of- Leonardo. My sweet, darling older brother." Donnie sounded done with life. If he hadn't been dodging bullets Mikey would have laughed. "PLEASE tell me you didn't do that."

"...It used to work when you were little."

"Oh my shell."

His humor turned into annoyance, as Raph should be resting right now. "Leoooooo..."

"I'm tired okay?!"

"Exactly! Which is why you should rest and I should be out there-"

"Your WRIST is broken!"

"It's not like I did it on purpose!"

"But you didn't tell anyone about it!"

"You just threw yourself on top of Mikey while being SHOT-"

"I had no choice!"

"You would be TOAST without me!-"

"LADIES! Ladies!" The genius seemed to have enough, sounding out of breath. "How about we deal with mystery villain first THEN go on with our squabble!?"

"What if we trap them somewhere?" Mikey asked, looking around. "They seem to be following us everywhere, it shouldn't be too hard!"

"...That could work." The purple brother sounded surprised. "Maybe we can even make them visible by throwing flowers on them..."

"What, like in those cartoons?"

"Yes."

"Where will we even find flower?" Leo was starting to sound tired as well- which said a lot. "And where will we trap them?"

"...How about the old warehouse ahead?" The hothead suggested. "No one to put in danger out there!"

"...That could work."

"Fine with me!"

"Then it's decided." The leader's voice shifted into his leader voice. "Into the wreckage, we go... and Raphael you are grounded."

"I saved your shell!"

"You hurt your wrist!"

"You almost got yourself KILLED! AGAIN!"

Mikey snickered at the exaggerated sigh he could hear from his immediate older brother.  "These two- ugh."

"There there." Mikey set his course to the tallest building in sight, his smile falling to make place for his serious expression once more. From a distance, he could see Raph.

"Mikey, you're my new favorite." Donnie appeared out of nowhere by jumping up, rolling his eyes at the sight of the red turtle.

Mikey didn't know why that joke had his heart warm. "Uhm... yeah. Okay."

Leo was the first one to enter the building, breaking through the window and immediately running around. Mikey and Raph landed at the same time, each taking a different direction, while Donnie ended up on the floor below.

"Still can't see their faces..."

"What if they don't have a face?" Leo asked.

"Ghosts?"

"No, I'm sure there is-"

A pillar next to Raphael exploded, sending the floor above him flying. The turtle yelped, dodging before the roof could collapse on him. He grumbled.

"Please tell me you didn't suggest ghosts." He glared at Mikey, who was on the other side of the floor, on the defense and swinging both his nunchucks around. Aware of how stupid it sounded.

"We exist." He pointed out, dodging another bullet fired at him. This time, it exploded. "So why are ghosts less believable than us?"

"...He's got a point." Mikey blinked in surprise when he heard Donatello agreeing with him.

"I thoughts you didn't believe in magic, Brainiac." Raphael got up and yelled, launching himself at one of those red dots, hoping to catch it. He couldn't.

"Not magic, no." The genius clarified. "But April does have those psychic powers... who is to say there isn't more?"

The oldest had been silent for too long. "Leo, you alive dude?"

"Probably planning his next sacrifice." The hothead grumbled, before yelling. "Why don't you just cut your arm off next time Leo!"

"I'm concentrating." Leo finally spoke.

"He's alive!" 

"Sshh."

Right. Being silent. He could do that now.

Be like Donnie.

"Concentrating on what? How to escape death?"

"Raphael."

"Or perhaps you're planning how to actually die now!"

"I'm not trying to die!"

"Then what are you doing, Leo?!" Raph yelled, forgetting the lurking danger and standing straight, in plain view. "Mikey could have tucked into his shell and been safe! You could have, too! Instead, you threw yourself on top of him as some sort of living shield!"

Donnie had seemingly given up on arguing back, and Mikey could hear something falling on the other end. "The floors here are unstable!"

"Noted."

"I'm PROTECTING my family, Raph." Not the leader voice again... "There was danger. I saved my little brother. Sorry I couldn't reach you, Donnie."

"Leave me out of this!"

"And we are trying to protect you, Leonardo." The second-oldest said bitterly, looking away. 

Mikey had been about to yell at them to either concentrate or get out (how ironic) when he noticed.

The three red dots pointed at his older brother. He paled.

Be like Raph.

"RAPH!" The other didn't even have a moment to react as Michelangelo jumped in front of him, taking the defensive pose he had worked so hard on and swinging his nunchucks in circular motions to mimic a shield. It seemed to work, as any attacks launched at them were sent left and right, exploding into the other pillars instead.

Okay... now... how to get out...

Mikey peaked up. He saw a pair of eyes, concentrated on the events below.

And then Leo jumped.

One katana at the ready to stab. 

Two of the dots managed to escape.

One couldn't, and Leonardo stabbed through it. Immediately, whatever he stabbed faded into existence. 

A drone.

The younger two each sat on a side of the leader, defending him from both sides as Leo poked the machine. "...Donnie! They're drones!"

"What? But how?"

"They're invisible!"

"Is that even possible?" Raph ran off, jumping a floor up and stabbing another drone with his sais. Mikey shrugged.

"It is now!"

"That symbol..." Leo brushed a finger over it, stomach dropping.

Shredder. 

"How did he get these?" 

"Less chatty more fighty!" The youngest yelled, for some reason not managing to hit any of the drones. But why? He was thinking of strategies on how to do it! 

An explosion sounded from downstairs. "Donnie?"

"I'm trying to get up!"

Deciding he had inspected the device enough, Leo threw it away, took his other blade, and attacked. For him, however, defending himself was the hardest. His twin katanas weren't exactly for this kind of defense.

From upstairs, another explosion was heard. "Are these bullets or missiles?!"

"They weren't like this before..." The orange-banded turtle felt uneasy,  especially when he heard that crack from above and looked around. Those were an awful lot of pillars that broke down...

"So the difficulty moves up the more they fire?" Leo dodged, and another pillar came crumbling down. Leaving cracks in their place... slowly traveling up...

A piece of the ceiling crumbled down, falling on Mikey's head. He looked up. "Uhm... Leo?" 

The other didn't hear him. 

"Seems like it!"

Leo swung his katana in a pattern, Mikey realized. A pattern that was keeping those drones at bay and himself safe...

But their hits hit the walls all around instead... the unstable pillars... "Leo?"

Cracks traveling to the roof...

More sounds of a fight, louder, downstairs. Raph cursed from upstairs. 

They were getting hurt.

Since no one said anything about the building itself, Mikey didn't either, and jumped on top of one of the drones, smashing it with his chucks. 

Leo probably would have done that more gracefully. 

Mikey could feel his energy running out fast, and none of the others were any better. The genius wasn't speaking anymore, Raph only grew angrier (that couldn't be good for his wrist), and even Leo couldn't hit the drones anymore.

If he didn't think of a plan soon, they would all get hur- LOOK OUT!

The turtle yelped when he had been about to get shot, focus snapping back at once.

What.

Panting, he closed his eyes and charged forward to try and get away. 

He had never lost focus during a fight.

Why wasn't anything he did working?!

Okay, okay. Think, Mikey. 

Maybe... maybe he can make the bots shoot each other?

Yes, good enough, that's perfect. Less energy to take out more bots?

Maybe his brain wasn't completely useless after all. 

But before he could tell anyone what he had thought of, he heard a crack.

So he looked up. And paled.

The pillar behind Leonardo seemed to have reached its limit, cracks traveling all over and looking as if it could collapse at any moment. The ceiling didn't look any better, unstable and broken.

"Uhm... Leo?" Raphael sounded hesitant- wow- and the youngest could hear him jump. "Hey, uhm, I don't think this place can take any longer..."

"Can confirm." Donatello finally made himself known, sounding done with life. "This place is old, Raph."

"Well, we can't just leave!" The leader, ever so unsuspecting, didn't notice the way the danger increased.

Okay, okay-

"Leo!!!" Mikey yelled this time, trying to reach him. 

An explosion from upstairs. And there was a sickening crack.

The ceiling broke.

He had to get him away from there, he had to get him away from there, he had to keep him safe, he had to protect him, he had to, he had to-

Be like Leo.

He blinked.

"Leo, we need to go!" The red-banded turtle yelled- but was too late.

A drone firing for Leonardo hit the pillar holding everything steady.

It collapsed.

And Mikey didn't even think as he charged forward, toward his older brother. "LEO!!!!"

Self-sacrificial.

The blue-banded turtle didn't have any time to react as he was pushed away, away from most of the danger, away from the biggest debris. 

Mikey, however, was not.

"Mikey-?!"

"GUYS LOOK OUT-"

The ceiling came falling. 

And before Mikey could try and save himself, a large chunk of the rocks above hit his head, making the world go dark.

No longer conscious to hear the screams of his name from all around.

Chapter Text

Despite popular belief, Mikey had the most raw talent for being a ninja out of the four of them.

Some would say that that was impossible. The youngest? Youngest? Having the most talent? The turtle who kept tripping over his own feet, made jokes all the time and never understood what was happening in the world around him?

That guy?

Yes, Leo would say. That guy. 

Behind all the pranks and jokes, Leo could see the little brother he had always loved and loved him and his brothers all the same. 

The only one out of them who knew how to cook, the one who would prank Raphael when the older was angry to let him chase the younger, the one who would drag Donatello out of his lab to make sure he was still alive-

The one who always let Leonardo beat him during training on purpose. 

Yes, he noticed. No, he didn't tell him he knew.

There was a reason Splinter made him the leader.

Sure, he had had trouble accepting that fact, but he came to terms with it. In fact, he was quite proud of the turtle in orange. 

His sweet, younger brother with a heart of gold, always looking out for everyone and probably near Donnie-level smart- in his way. He didn't need to fight like them to be strong. Mikey had his strategies that worked for him, they always had.

So needless to say, Leo had been surprised when during training he recognized Raph's moves being used by his opponent instead of his own. 

Maybe he was trying out a new technique? But wouldn't he have told them? The oldest almost hurt him for shell's sake! 

But then he and Raph had shared a look. And with those oldest brother instincts (tm) of his he just knew, something was wrong. 

And then his immediate younger brother pulled him aside to whisper;

"I didn't invite him topside with me."

"...What?"

"He told Master Splinter I took him with me?" Raphael scoffed and crossed his arms. "I didn't. He followed me."

Lying?

To Splinter?

Granted, he had gotten Raph out of some trouble- but still! None of them would even think about lying to the man who raised them. How could they?

And then the next day he goes meditating with him. Don't get Leo wrong, it warmed his heart when his siblings joined him- but this was Mikey. The guy couldn't sit still to save his life, always disliked meditating and always moving one way or another. 

And his freakout.

As if all that wasn't enough, Donatello had given him enough looks to make Leo understand. He noticed too. 

Something was wrong.

What, he didn't know.

He would address it later, he decided. The moment they got rid of these drones and were out of the building. Maybe Mikey hurt himself too and decided to hide it? He hoped not. Three injured little siblings were... too much. He had already been trying not to smother the two already hurt- Leo didn't think he could control himself if that became three.

Concentrate, Leonardo. Save them first, worry later.

Concentration was not as easy as he made it look. 

Okay, cancel all thoughts, cancel all thoughts...

A deep breath in and out, and he was back in their present time, slicing any bots that came near him. His technique was simple but effective; lure them close, allow them to shoot, use his katana to reflect the bullets, and slice them apart while they were recharging. Easy enough-

"Uhm... Leo?" The sound of Raph's voice finally snapped him out of it. "Hey, uhm, I don't think this place can take any longer..."

"Can confirm." Donnie hummed, the tone of his voice making Leo's heartache. "This place is old, Raph."

"Well, we can't just leave!" The leader yelled, forced to take a step back. These drones would follow them, they would hurt his bros, they would hurt his precious little brothers he can't let that happen-

"Leo!!!" Mikey yelled, how long had he been yelling for? 

But before Leo could look up and respond, an explosion from upstairs. And there was a sickening crack.

The turtle turned around- only now seeing how unstable the pillar had been.

"Leo, we need to go!" The red-banded turtle yelled- but was too late.

A drone firing for Leonardo caught him off guard, causing him to duck and hit the pillar holding everything steady.

It collapsed.

Oh, shell-

"LEO!!!!"

And the next thing he knew, he was being pushed away, dazed and unable to process what just happened. 

He hit the floor with a thump! blinking and confused, rubbing his head. Only then did he see his baby brother-

Standing where he had been a second earlier, behind the unstable pillar.

"Mikey-?!"

"GUYS LOOK OUT-"

Before Mikey could try and save himself, the pillar collapsed on top of him.

"MIKEY!" Leo tried to rush to his aid, but couldn't when parts of rock and cement fell between them, forcing him to dodge and stay away from his little brother. "Mikey! Michelangelo!"

He tried to get closer once more, only to suddenly be pulled away by Raph- when did he get down here?! "Raph! No, let me go!-"

"I'm saving you, you idiot!" His younger brother yelled, forcefully pulling him aside before any parts of the wall could hit him. "The building is collapsing we need to take cover!"

The leader shoved him harshly and screamed. "Mikey is still in there!"

Raph stopped. 

His face took a look of horror. "What?"

"One of the pillars collapsed on him!" Leo cried out, trying to run forward without getting hit by any parts of the ceiling. "We have to get him out!"

"You guys!!" Donnie was still on the ground floor. Oh no. "Take cover before you bust your shells open!"

"But Mikey!-"

The floor beneath them collapsed. 

Leo was holding Raphael before he could even think.

The sounds of everything around them falling apart, wood breaking, cement cracking, everything collapsing- 

The noise almost made him deaf. 

Especially since he was at the bottom of the building. He was the most at risk. Luckily, Donnie was smart.

The first thing he did was run to the farthest possible corner, and make himself as small as possible to cower underneath what used to be a door. Next, he folded his hands around his neck for protection and hid his head between his legs. Gritting his teeth, he tried to ignore the ear-piercing sounds from all around, already overstimulated as it was.

He never liked loud noises. 

Sure, the loud noise in their home was different. It was either Raph and Leo at each other's throats, screaming about who is beating who in a game, or his loud machines in his lab. 

But this wasn't the familiar loud. This was dangerous. 

But it's not like he could block the sound.

All he could do was grit his teeth and wait it out. 

...

...

Once the noise had finally calmed down did Donatello dare open his eyes, breath hitching at the sight. Oh dear...

The whole building had collapsed, it seems. There was smoke and fust everywhere- there no longer was a roof.

His breath hitched.

His brothers, his brothers, where are his-

"Donnie!" He heard someone shout, and his shoulders sagged with relief. Oh, thank Shell.

"Raph-?" He called, only to be interrupted by coughing from how much dust he inhaled and doubled over. The red-banded turtle tried and struggled to run towards him, but managed, and couldn't get his hands on him fast enough.

"H-hey! Just- just breathe, dammit!"

This is why you're not the medic, Raph.

The genius was rubbing circles on his plastron until he managed to breathe, then stood straight. The older still looked panicked, however. "You good? You're good, right?!"

"Hey." The younger gently took his hands and looked him in the eyes. "Don't panic. Just breathe." 

If he had been about to say something in response, Leo's shouting rudely cut him off.

"Mikey?! Michelangelo! Donatello!!" The blue-banded turtle screamed, looking around and panic becoming worse with each minute. Donnie froze too.

"I thought Mikey was with Leo?"

"I thought so too!" Raphael seemed to be on the verge of screaming again, the only reason he didn't do so was that Donnie didn't let go of his hands. "Leo! I found Don!!"

Seems like the oldest two forgat their fighting from earlier. 

Raph yelped when Leo pushed him away in favor of holding Donnie. "Oh thank Shell." The older breathed and pulled away to look at him. "Are you hurt?"

Only now did Donatello notice how they were all covered in dust. Great. "No, I'm not."

"I'm not hurt either!" The second-oldest yelled, getting up from the ground and hitting his brother's shell. Leo pushed back. Raph hit him again. They ended up glaring at each other.

"Hey!" The youngest at the scene pulled them apart. "How about we find Mikey first then fight like five-year-olds?!" 

"How did you even lose him?!" Raph hysterically asked. Leo took a deep breath.

"He pushed me away!" He claimed, pointing his arms behind him. "And then a pillar collapsed on top of him... and then the rest of the building..." 

"...You've got to be kidding me."

"Well... younger siblings do tend to copy their elder's behavior." The younger two glared at the leader, who looked away with shame.

"I... I didn't want..." 

"Mikey!!" Raph yelled again, then went silent and straining his ears. Not a single sound.

"Hold on." Donnie reached for his Shell Phone. "I can track his Shell Phone if you give me a minute."

"Mikey doesn't have a minute!"

"Raph... we have to remain calm-"

"My baby brother is trapped underneath all this mess somewhere!" Raph snapped back. Leo flinched. "Don't tell me to calm down!" 

"We won't be able to find him if we're blind with panic, Raph." 

Raphael had been about to scream again- but stopped himself. Leo's shoulders were tense, his voice a bit too calm and not looking at anyone else as he tried to remove some of the debris.

Leo was freaking out too. 

"...Got him!" Donnie's phone pinged! "Just... right ahead. Follow me." 

"..." silently, they allowed the youngest to take the lead. 

Donnie kept almost tripping multiple times, so he used his bo-staff for balance and never took his eyes off the screen. The silence, which he had grown to love, now only made his heart beat faster and faster.

Mikey? Silent?

...Though granted, he had been quiet these days. Which had worried him already. But this was a different quiet. 

Uneasy. 

His phone pinged. He stopped.

"... According to my readings, he should be in front of us..." Donnie mumbled, looking up.

Yet... all he saw was the debris...

...

His stomach dropped. "...Oh." 

He turned around once he heard a gasp, and saw Raph looking horrified, breathing unevenly and frozen in place.

Leo, however, didn't hesitate to jump into action, trying to lift some pieces of cement off of their baby brother. "Mikey! I need you to answer me! Michelangelo!"

Donnie was at his side, helping him to get some of the rubble off- until they found a very familiar pattern of shell. His breath hitched. 

"Raph, help me get this off of him!" Raphael finally snapped out of it and rushed over, grabbing the largest block of cement. "Alright, on three. One.. two... three!"

The trio grunted and huffed, but with their combined strength, managed to get the largest piece of the pillar off. Leo sucked in a sharp breath.

The turtle was laying on his front, his shell haven taken most of it. A small crack ran over the surface. 

"...Donnie, can we move him?" His voice was a scary calm once more. 

Donatello jumped out of his skin. Right. He was the medic.

"Let... l-let me see if he has broken anything, first." He mumbled and kneeled. 

Okay... breathe in and out... in and out... turning off all emotions... 

Once he opened his eyes, they were blank. Okay. 

Carefully, he ran his hands over Mikey's shell, first. Other than the large crack, he couldn't feel anything wrong... so next, he reached for the turtle's shoulders, his head, arms, and back of his legs... "...We can move him. Gently. And don't lay him on his back- Raph, can you hold him up?"

Next, his brother was beside him, who had gone too quiet as well. Great. Quiet just didn't soothe their family. But still, Raphael did as he was told, and gently turned him over without leaning him on his back. Donnie winced.

There was blood on the side of his head, which would no doubt bruise later. His breath was shallow- but it was there. He put two fingers on his neck.

"...Pulse is... slow." He noticed and repeated his earlier examination. "...I can't feel if he broke anything or if his plastron protected him... I will need to scan. Leo, help me get him on Raph's back." 

No one said a thing as they worked.

"OUT OF THE WAY!"

"SORRY SENSEI-"

"Leo get me water go go go-"

They paid their father, who looked flabbergastered, no mind, running straight into the medbay. Once there, Raphael gently placed the turtle on the table, on his front. Donnie didn't hesitate and grabbed his scanner, immediately holding it over the smallest mutant. He cursed.

"Two broken ribs." He sounded surprised. "I thought it would be worse... wait, hold on-" 

The older turtle didn't look away from the one in orange, desperately holding his shoulder. 

How did this happen?

How did he ALLOW this to happen?!

Out of the four of them, Raph was the strongest. He was their shield, he was the brawn, he was the one to throw punches and take hits-

Not Mikey. 

So seeing him like this, hurt and so out of it and in danger and-

"Raph? Raaaaph?" Donnie snapped his fingers in front of his face. "Are you even listening?"

Raph flinched. "Uhm..."

The younger sighed, annoyed- but Raph knew better. This was Doctor Donnie. He would freak out plenty later.

"As I was saying." He said. "My scanner detected two broken ribs, a small fracture on his shell, and slight bruising on his head. We need to make sure to put ice on his plastron and have him on bed rest for a couple of weeks... he'll be fine." 

He sighed with relief. "Good."

"Yeah." As Donnie got started with Mikey's shell, he added. "Don't think I forgot about you. I'm checking your wrist later." 

Raph huffed in response.

Leo came back, along with their father, who had been updated on the situation, and with two bowls of water and some rags to clean off the blood. No one said anything unless it was Donatello barking orders. 

His shell got wrapped up, first, after being disinfected carefully. Then, Raph turned Mikey over to lay on his back as Donnie got started on his head. Cleaning the blood, checking how far the bruises went...

Donnie stilled. Raph noticed. "...Don?"

"...These bruises are old."

"Excuse me?" Leo was immediately at his side. Donnie pointed at one of the bruises on his head.

"See this? It's fading away. It's healing. I know we have faster healing than the average human, but even we don't heal that fast. These bruises are-... at least a week old." 

"Did he hit his head when you and he were cornered by the Foot?"

"Now that I remember... he's been odd for a while." Donnie opened another drawer to grab some cream.

Raph held Mikey just a tad bit closer, expression unreadable. He didn't like this, he really didn't like this.

He had bruises from something. Something hurt him. And Mikey didn't tell anyone?

He didn't want to think of Mikey as a liar... but he did lie to Splinter about what happened when he went out with him... but why would he hide getting injured?

For the same reason you hid your wrist, dumb dumb.

He frowned.

Actually... Mikey had been acting very not-Mikey-like.

He didn't dare say anything though. Not in front of Splinter. God knew he loved the man, but he wasn't the best in the emotional department. 

"Leo, can you throw this rag away and get me a new one?" Donnie asked, not bothering to look if the leader would listen and focusing on their youngest one more, scooping up a generous amount of the cream and carefully applying it on his head.

The turtle didn't even flinch.

Raph didn't like it. "Is it normal for him to be this still, Don...?"

"..." He gave no response. His eyes softened once he got to that cut at the side of his head.

"Leo said the pillar fell on his head?" 

To his credit, Raph just nodded. Donnie sighed and reached for the disinfectant. 

"Hamato Donatello." The two looked up once they heard the oldest, who was... carrying... the trashcan?

His expression was dark, eyes narrowed. "What is the meaning of this?"

"...The trash?"

"No." He opened the lid, allowing the others to see the contents inside.

Many empty bags of coffee were inside, much more than usual. A couple, at least. Raph's eyes went wide with shock, head snapping up. "Donnie?"

"T-that wasn't me!" The genius felt offended at the accusation, but honestly, he understood. He was the only one in their family who drank coffee... "Honest!"

"This isn't healthy, man!"

"Who are you to tell me what healthy is?" Donnie glared at Raphael. The turtle growled warningly in return. "You hid your wrist being broken."

"I at least didn't pull a dozen all-nighters!"

"But I didn't! Raph, you were with me every night I was in medbay! How could I possibly go get coffee with you watching me like a guard dog?!" 

He had been about to scold him- but stopped.

That... was true. Donnie had been on bed rest. Raph had been with him each night, just in case. His anger died down, and his expression melted into a frown.

Leo looked surprised and then turned to the red-banded turtle. "...Is that true, Raph?"

"..." mutely, he nodded. Slowly, he looked at Leo, who shook his head. 

"Why would I show you if I was the one who drank the coffee?"

That's true... and the fact Raph had been with Donnie each night meant it couldn't be him...

But... then who...

...

Slowly, all three of them turned to Michelangelo. And Donatello removed his mask.

Dark, large eyebags had made themselves home under his eyes. His cheeks were flushed, and only now did they realize his skin was paler than usual.

"...God dammit." 

For once, no one said anything about the swear words being used. 

The world was dark and silent.

He didn't like the dark. He also didn't like silence. 

But he was a ninja! So he should probably like both, yeah?

...

No. 

Mikey whined, and shifted slightly- yet he couldn't find any light nor understanding of where he was. All he knew was that it was hot and that he had trouble breathing. He felt strangely woozy though.

Okay, Michelangelo, think. You can do that. 

Well- maybe not. If he thought his mind had been heavy before, there were actual bricks up in his head now. 

At least open your eyes, stupid.

Those were heavy too. But with a grunt, he forced them open anyway. 

The room he was in was dark and silent, yet he was still oddly warm... wait is this the medbay?!

Now he was wide awake. He shot up from the bed- bed?

He looked behind him. Pillow, mattress... yes, bed. 

He blinked. 

How did he end up in medbay?

Confused, Mikey scratched his head- and felt the bandages. He froze.

"..." Without shifting his gaze, he reached out with both hands and felt around his head. Bandages. Next, he felt around his shoulders and his plastron. He couldn't reach his shell, sadly, so he couldn't check. Finally, he felt his legs and concluded he was fine. But then why was he in medbay? What happened for him to end up here?

Okay... what did he remember last?

There were those... those drone things! Yeah!! They went into an old building to try and trap them... the building was unstable... he pushed Leo away and-

The world went dark.

He probably lost consciousness, then. How long had it been? And where were his brothers? Were they okay? They must be since he was the only one in medbay...

Which meant...

His eyes widened before he smiled impossibly bright.

It worked.

He covered his mouth with one hand, using the other to lean back and leaning his shell against the- ow ow owwww okay-

Immediately, he flinched back. Okay... so he was hurt. But who cares?!

He was so happy at the moment, he could cry.

The turtle giggled to himself, and couldn't help flapping his hand in front of his face. It worked, it worked, it worked!!!

The others were unharmed. They must be! After all, someone brought him here, right? That must have been Raph, he's the strongest. Someone treated his injuries, which Mikey guessed would have been Donnie. And he knew Raph's tendency to freeze and Donnie's small freakouts, which only Leo could snap them out from- 

-And no one else was in medbay-

So they were all okay!

He laughed joyfully, ignoring the sting of his shell. It worked! It was just him who was hurt! The other three were safe and now he was-...

...

...Alone. 

In the dark... silent room...

his smile fell to make room for a frown, and he looked around.

Surrounded by... medical equipment... and alone... with his thoughts. 

He blinked. Actually... why wasn't anyone here?

When Donnie was hurt, everyone waited for him to get up. When Raph was hurt, they fought to be at his side...

And they just... left him?  

But why?

His happiness evaporated like morning air, and his heart tightened. 

But he... he did what they wanted. He thought like Donnie. He fought like Raph. He protected like Leo.

So why... why... they still didn't want to be with him?

Hadn't it been enough?

Hadn't... he... been enough? 

"..." The hand beside his face lowered down to be placed on his lap, gaze cast down.

But... but what was he missing!?

He changed his way of thinking! He sat still, he was quiet! He changed his way of fighting, he took the hits now! He eased their burdens- he- what else could they possibly want-?!

He stopped breathing.

Suddenly, he noticed... the lack of-

He reached for his face immediately. His bandana was gone.

Taken, he painfully realized.

...Was it... him...? 

Defeated, he lowered his hand once more.

He wouldn’t... he wouldn’t ever be enough, would he? He still messed up, somehow.

Yes, they were safe... but he still wasn't someone they wanted to be around.

Before he could go on hating himself any further, he heard the door to the medbay open, and his brothers talking. "Shouldn't we try waking him, now? It's been long enough..."

"No, Leo, that will only make the healing process worse."

"But it's been too long and we still need to talk about-" 

The duo shut up at the sight of their youngest, who was awake, sitting, and staring at them with surprise. "...I guess that works." 

"Mikey!" The two yelped when they were pushed aside, and Raph was immediately squeezing the life out of him. Michelangelo gasped.

"R-Raph- can't breathe-"

"Don't do that to me, man!" Raph yelled, pulling away to shake him back and forth. "You scared us half to death!"

"Raph!" Donnie ran forward to stop him. "Shaking him like a snowglobe won't do his head any favors!"

"Maybe his brains will lay better and tell him to not do that!"

"Raphael!-"

He managed to free himself, looking surprised between the two fighting right now. And looked up when someone gently touched his shoulder.

"Are you alright, otouto?" Leo asked him gently, expression sad yet gentle. Mikey nodded mutely. "Good." 

"...How long was I out for?" He couldn't help but ask and glanced back at the others. Raph whined while Donnie sighed.

"A couple of hours, give or take. You've been sleeping since yesterday."

"...Oh."

"Yeah, oh." The genius glared at him.

"What were you thinking?!" The hothead hysterically asked, wow did he take in Leo's mothering- why was Leo so still, actually? Mikey had been expecting a full lecture by now. "As if one self-sacrificial moron in the family wasn't enough!"

"Raph."

"Not now, Donnie!"

"..." His frown deepened when Leonardo hugged him without a word, refusing to meet his gaze. Uncertain, he hugged back. "Hey, Leo?"

"I'm sorry." Was all he said, squeezing him tighter. Mikey pretended his shell didn't hurt.

"What- why? I chose to push you away." 

"Exactly." Oh. Was that pain in his voice? Great. "I shouldn't... you shouldn't. I'm... I don't-"

"What he is trying to say-" Donnie sat on the bed. "-is to not be an idiot like him, Mikey."

"But he was in danger!" The youngest pushed the leader off of him and dared to look him right in the eyes. "You threw yourself on top of me while getting shot so you can't get angry at me!"

"That's a whole nother problem."

"Speaking of problems." The topic changed at once, and the leader voice was pulled once more. "We need to talk."

The other two's expressions changed as well, suddenly all serious and forgetting they had been fighting earlier.

Mikey couldn't help but shrink. "About what?"

"You tell me." Donnie sat on the bed, and Leo sat on the other side. Raph remained standing. 

If he had been confused before, he was lost now. Was he supposed to know?

"Did one of you get hit by an old prank I forgot?"

"No."

"Did I... forget to bring you a pizza I was supposed to?"

"Try again." 

"I don't think he knows, Leo." Donnie cut them off. The leader groaned. The youngest was even more confused now. 

"Know what? Dudes? You're scaring me." He awkwardly laughed, while inwardly freaking out.

Is it about how I messed up yesterday-? Or because I didn't see the drones coming... or maybe because I was supposed to look for injuries yesterday but couldn't-

"Have you been sneaking topside without telling any of us?"

That made his head snap up. "I... what?"

"Leo found an abnormal amount of empty coffee bags in the trash, Mike." Raph crossed his arms. "And judging from the bags under your eyes, you're the one who threw them out."

"...And the scan. I must say, there is an abnormal amount of caffeine in your system, Mikey." 

"You scanned me-?

"Yes." 

"And the bruises!" Leo cried out, before collecting himself. Freakout he could do later, right now he needed to be scolding the youngest. "Have you been getting into fights out there?!"

"Why would I-"

"There are bruises on your head, Mikey-"

"You haven't been sleeping at all have you-?"

"Slow down!" 

The three stopped. Mikey looked at them with wide eyes, lost and starting to get overwhelmed with all the information thrown at him. "Okay! One at a time. You think I went topside every night? Why?"

"...Well." Leo looked between the others and decided to be the one to explain. "I... found too many empty coffee bags in the trash, yesterday. No one else drinks coffee other than Donnie, but he was in medbay for the entire week, Raph had been with him and I- I prefer tea. And, well, your eyebags are worse than usual otouto... so Donnie did a scan and found an abnormal amount of caffeine in your system. Do you understand until now?"

Oh, how he hated to be talked to like a child. Still, he nodded. Donnie continued.

"When I was patching you up yesterday, I noticed bruising around your head, along with a large cut... Mikey, the bruises are already healing." They made eye contact. "That makes it impossible for you to have received them yesterday."

Raph took over. "You've been so weird these days, Mike. You never leave your room and you're- I can't believe I'm saying this- quiet. You're never quiet! Shell, you didn't even wanna join us when we were playing games- you lied to  Splinter. Why were you even awake when going after me to begin with? You're doing all these things you never do- Leo said you wanted to meditate?"

"His fighting pattern also changed." Hummed the oldest. "More defensive. Less... Mikey-like."

"Not to mention how you always look like you're two seconds away from passing out!"

"What we mean is." The genius cut them both off and gently cupped his cheek. "We're worried, little brother. If someone is bothering you, or if there is a reason you keep sneaking out without telling us..." 

Oh, great. 

That's not what you're supposed to do, you moron. 

"But I'm not going topside!" He was quick to ease their concerns, feeling a bit hurt. Did they think of him as irresponsible too? 

That made them pause. "...You're not?"

"No! That's dangerous!"

"But..." Suspicious, Raphael narrowed his eyes. "Then what are you doing?" 

"Studying."

"...I'm sorry?"

"That book you gave me, Donnie!" He said, not missing the way the mentioned turtle flinched. "I need to remember it all and we all know with my stupid attention span-"

Shut up shut up shut up-

"You've been studying that every night?" He sounded guilty, and the youngest had the urge to hit himself once more.

For the love of god STOP TALKING-

"Book?" Leo looked up. 

"My medical book- with all my notes..." 

"Is that how you suddenly know so much about medical stuff?" The hothead sounded surprised. To his credit, Mikey nodded again. "But... why? Don's the medic." 

"On his own?" He huffed. "He's also the one handling all the tech already, and then our health too-? You're both always busy, with Leo being the leader and you being our brawn, I'm- I don't do anything! So naturally, I have to be good at this medic stuff!"

"Woah woah Woah," Leonardo said. "What does that mean?"

"You know!" He smiled brightly- why is he smiling? "I don't do- well- anything!"

Michelangelo.

"You're the leader! Don's the brains, Raph's the brawn and I'm just- there!"

Please shut up.

"I'm- you have to admit I'm kinda useless." He giggled, finding what he said very funny for some reason. "So now I'm not!"

"Useless?" Donnie gaped. Raph looked speechless.

"Whoever told you you're useless, little brother?" Leo gently asked. Mikey's smile only brightened, eyes wider as he giggled like a madman. 

"It's obvious!" He laughed, shoulders shaking. "No one ever wants to be with me- no matter how hard I try! And I get it! I'm stupid, dumb, and always in the way- a burden." He seemed to disconnect from the world, eyes empty for just one second before that smile was back once more. "So I- ahahaha- I fixed myself!"

He burst into laughter once more, and the turtles on the bed flinched back. "Mikey?"

"Isn't this what you wanted?!" He asked, looking pleadingly at Donatello. He looked horrified. "I didn't- I just wanted to be better! But I didn't know how to do that... so I thought that hey, if you guys like each other, and you're great- I should be more like you instead!"

He didn't notice the way each of them looked horrified the more he went on, and god, why wouldn't he shut up? Couldn't he just disappear or sew his mouth shut?

"So I tried to be smarter!" He smiled proudly. "I know I can never be smart like you, Donnie, so I thought that maybe I can be a backup medic or something- studying that book also helped me focus better and become quiet! Just like you guys wanted! Sure, I had to hit myself with the book a couple of times to be able to concentrate but it worked!"

"You what." Donnie's voice had gone dark. 

"Or how I never think during fighting- which now that I look back, is stupid." He frowned, before smiling again. "So I fixed that too! It's still a bit hard but if I can defend you guys better, then I'm happy! Though hitting myself didn't help me concentrate any more... but the cold did! So I need to look into that-"

"Wait, Mikey, we don't want you to-"

"I tried meditation, but I couldn't do that." He pouted. "My brain is broken. But that's okay! There are other ways to be like you, Leo! And it worked!" He laughed again, a bit more desperate this time. "You're all safe! I kept you safe! I changed, I'm just like how you wanted me to be but I- I still messed up somehow!" His happy tone shifted into an angry one. 

Oh, his chest was growing awfully tight now, and his heartbeat was speeding up- that was bad, right? According to Donnie's book, it was. It could be caused by stress, panic, fever, change in blood pressure, medication, high levels of caffeine-

"Mikey, Mikey!!" Oh, they were calling him? Since when? Wait, was he talking or was he silent? He chuckled. That was funny. Really funny, actually- 

"You're scaring me, man!" Raph cried out, reaching out but then pulling his arms back, unsure of what to do- Raph, scared, pfft. That only made him laugh harder- this situation was more than funny, it was hilarious! 

"Funny, right?!" He hysterically asked, unable to breathe between his laughs, and roared. "I do everything you do- hahaha!! I keep you safe- and I stihihill can't get it right!"

At that point, he had lost full control over his body and just couldn't stop laughing, words had been lost to him as he laughed, and laughed, and laughed.

He didn't know why he was laughing. Was he sick? Please no, he didn't need that on top of being useless. 

This was scaring him now. He wanted to understand his response- but he didn’t. What, was this just something else messed up and broken about him? He wouldn’t be surprised. If they didn't already hate him before, his bros would be sure to disown him now!

His giggles stopped soon enough when during his fit, his airways completely closed up- causing him to gasp and double over, his manic episode turning into a coughing fit. No matter how much he tried, the hammering of his heart didn't calm, he still felt extremely lightheaded and he couldn't breathe.

This is like, totally not rad man... 

Just as Mikey had started seeing spots, something else reached for him and pulled him tight. At first, he fought against the restrictions, until his mind cleared up enough to feel the gentle pets on his head, and the familiar rumble of someone purring against his forehead.

Leo. 

His breath hitched, and his eyes widened.

No one said a word. Were Raph and Donnie still in the room? He couldn't see them. Did it matter? With Leo acting as a warm, solid pressure all around him, he felt the vog around his brain fading away, letting go of his lungs, and slowly allowing him to breathe. As if a rock had been removed from his throat, his breathing evened out, and his heart slowly calmed. 

Only now did he become aware of just how tired he was.

...His body feeling so heavy wasn't normal, was it? 

The tension in his muscles slowly melted away, and Mikey allowed himself to relax into Leo's hold. The older's purrs got louder, pulling him just a bit closer.

No, it wasn't. 

He had done something wrong, hadn't he? But what? He did what the others did...

"Are you with us, little brother?" Leo gently asked, stopping with the gentle ministrations and purrs tapping off. Michelangelo nodded and held onto one of his arms. "Good... I think we need to talk."

"..." To his credit, Mikey just nodded again, too tired to fight it. He pretended he didn't let out a displeased rumble when Leo pulled away and sat straight. Donnie and Raph took that as their cue to settle back in the bed, but still keeping their distance, just in case.

Hey, Leo might have said they need to talk. But no one knew how to start. How would you, after that?

Well... Mikey knew what he needed to say.

"I'm sorry." He said softly, not meeting their gaze. 

"Why?" Donnie asked him, and Mikey wanted nothing more than to melt into the ground and disappear. His voice was stoic when he spoke.

"For failing. I... I really tried." Shame burned at his heart as he curled up. He looked up when a hand was gently placed on his shoulder, surprised to find soft, green eyes staring back at him. Raphael was quiet, expression uncharacteristically soft. 

"Fail at what, little brother?" 

"At..." he stopped. At what, actually? He saved them, right? He did what he intended to do. Being like them.

Yet none of them could be bothered to be with him. 

They don't like you.

"At being better." He decided and tore his gaze away. "At being stronger. At being smarter. At... at being any good at all."

"Hey." His purple brother softly spoke, his voice filled with surprise. "Where is this all coming from, Mikey? You're more than enough-"

"But I'm not!" He yelled, covering his mouth at his outburst. Once he was sure he could continue without raising his voice, he sighed. "I'm not. Don't look at me like that, Donnie- I'm not. I'm stupid, I'm an idiot- I can't understand the world around me, I can't sit still. What kind of moron can't sit still?! How hard is it to be quiet?!"

If any of his brothers wanted to say something, they had no chance to, because Michelangelo didn't stop. You moron, stop stop stop stop stop- why is it so hard to stop?! "I'm a terrible ninja, I'm just- I'm just burdening you! So-... so I changed. I'm better, now!" He smiled, kinda proud. "I'm smarter, I'm silent, I saved you- but... it wasn't enough." he trailed off. "None of you ever want to be with me..."

"...Mikey." Leo's voice was pained.

"Please... please tell me what you want?" He asked- begged, and looked up pleadingly and oh so tired. "What I should change or work on? What do I need to do? I just... I just want to be better. I want to be someone you like. I don't know how to be someone you like..."

Tears he didn't even know existed slid down his cheeks, gaze cast down, even as Leo carefully cupped his cheek. "Mikey- Michelangelo. Look at me." 

He didn't, at first. But with the way the older turtle's thumb was gently stroking his cheek, something broke inside him and looked up. Leonardo's expression was incredibly sad, as well as... guilty? 

Glancing over, he was surprised the other two looked the same. 

Yay.

Look what you did! 

Maybe he should actually go sew his mouth shut or something. 

Once he was sure he had Mikey's full attention, Leonardo sighed. "I... I'm sorry, little brother."

What.

"Wha- no!" He pulled away with panic, looking between them. "Why are you sorry?"

"For not noticing sooner... how long has this been going on for, Mike?" Donnie dreaded to know the answer but asked anyway. They needed to know. "How long have we...?"

No no no no no-

His breathing sped up once more, immediately soothed and calmed by Leo by grabbing his shoulders. "Breathe, Michelangelo. Breathe." 

"You're not supposed to be sorry I am!"

"Breathe..."

Why did Leo's voice always have to be so comforting? 

Mikey did as he was asked, expecting glares. The three were still looking at him as if he were made of glass.

Dang it.

"How about we address one thing at a time to make this easier?" Donatello offered. Mikey hummed in agreement.

"Okay... Mikey-"

"Are you stupid?"

"Raph!" Leo shoved his shoulder. The younger growled.

"He thinks he had to change himself for us to like him. Thats like telling Donnie to act stupid-"

"What he means," Donnie said loudly. "Why do you think we don't like you, Mikey?"

"You rather throw yourself at the Shredder than be paired up with me on missions." Mikey crossed his arms. "Or in space... you would have rather gotten captured than be with me. All of you. I have to fix that..."

"Space...?" Donnie wrecked his mind to remember- and flinched when he did. 

Mikey had seemed quiet that day...

"...Oh, Mikey." At the confused looks he got from the older two, Donnie quickly recapped that day to remind them-... this wasn't the first time. Leo closed his eyes painfully, and Raph hissed.

"Raph, you're with me," Leo said, already turning around. "Mikey, stay with Donnie."

"Why do I always get stuck with Mikey?" Donnie asked. Missing the hurt that flashed across Mikey's eyes. 

"Hey." 

"I don't want him." Leo shrugged. "And I'm in charge!" 

"Hey!" 

"Well then make Raph take Mikey!"

"Over my dead body!" Maybe he should have realized that did sound painful...

"You know." The youngest said. "I'm starting to think no one wants to be with me. Fine! I'll go off on my own!"

He threw a smoke bomb before anyone could argue. Or spot the hurt on his face.

"...We are terrible at this."

"Ya think?" Raph glared at him, only now realizing Mikey probably hadn't understood why they acted the way they did. Leo whined and covered his face with his hands. Mikey hummed, confused.

"Mikey... that wasn't because we don't want to be with you," Donatello admitted with a small voice and looked away. "That was because... uhm." 

"We don't want to see you get hurt okay?!" Raphael shouted and immediately shrank afterward. None of them were looking at him now, each in their own pity party. 

Now it was Mikey's turn to be shocked. "...What?"

"Why would we not want you with us?" His arms shook when the hothead spoke. During all this, he refused to meet Mikey's gaze, eyes tightly shut. "You're fast, your skills are awesome, and I can't believe I'm saying this- you're fun to be around! But you get hurt so easy!"

He opened his eyes, anger sniffing down. "...You get hurt so easy..."

Was that meant to be a jab? Mikey wasn't sure. "But... I don't..."

"That time you almost drowned." Donnie whimpered.

"That time Bradford tied you up and left you alone in that room." Raph closed his eyes again. 

"Dimension X." Leo's gasped. Raph and Donnie whined, not wanting to remember that crazy world.

...He did get hurt often, didn't he? 

Is that why no one wanted to be with him? Because he was just burdening-

"We can't protect you." His head snapped up.

"...I can't protect you." Finally, Raph looked up was he crying? The strong and brave Raphael? Crying? 

"When I was the leader." He started. "You got hurt... so bad. And it was my fault." 

"It was mine!" The youngest argued back. "I hit my head!-"

"Because I couldn't keep you safe," Raph whispered. "That..  that could have ended up so much worse, Mike. What if I can't protect you? What if you get hurt again and I can't- and I let-... and you-" He seemed to freeze up, eyes suddenly wide as he took unshaky breaths, reliving some memory he had long forgotten. Leo gently touched his shoulder, trying to pull him back.

"When we are together..." Donnie murmurs painfully. "You always get hurt, one way or another. And I fix it. But what if one day I'm not enough? What if I can't fix it? I'm just- I'm just the brains, I can't- I can't..." he choked, horrified with his own thoughts, and covered his mouth. "What if you get hurt again and I can't fix it? What if they do something to you and I can't fix it?! What am I supposed to do then?!" 

"...Dee." Mikey reached out and softly touched his shoulder. The genius let out a shuddering breath and leaned into the touch.

"I was scared." he admitted quietly. "What if you get hurt and I can't fix you? I'm terrible when it comes to defense and everything bad that can happen always happens to you for some reason." That last part was said bitterly. 

Leonardo finally tilted his head up, expression much calmer than the younger two- that made sense. His big brother had always been the calmest. At least that was familiar. None of this felt familiar.

"I want you with me, otouto." He said softly. "I do- I did. I wanted to keep you with me and wrap you up in bubble wrap, all three of you- how does one get hurt so often? But the point is. If I need to shield any of you-"

"Leo," Raph growled warningly. The leader ignored him.

"-Then you'll be left alone. Alone to defend me. And I know you're capable, Mikey. You are. But knowing you, you'll throw yourself right into the danger-"

"Like you're one to talk!" Raph cut him off again.

"Raph... Raph would lose it if something happened." Leo snorted. "And Donnie would escape. But you... you would try to save everyone. You would get hurt. If something happened to you because of me... I don't think I could live with myself." 

"But we should have told you instead of icing you out." All three of them looked away with shame. "Talking... is not our strong suit. We're sorry- I'm sorry."

"I'm sorry too..." Donnie mumbled. Raph just hummed in agreement, unable to get the words past his throat.

"..."

"Mikey?" They looked up once realizing how silent he had been this entire time. None of them were surprised to see Mikey blankly staring at them, tears silently dripping down his cheeks and eyes slightly red. He sniffed and rubbed one of his eyes.

"S-sorry, it- it's just-"

"A lot?" Donnie asked. Mikey giggled and smiled through the tears with a nod. His face was grabbed once more, and gently turned so he made eye contact with the oldest. His tears were softly thumbed away, and Mikey couldn't help but think.

Those qualities he had tried so hard to copy.

His brothers thought they were bad at them? Even if they were so-... Donnie had always been the smartest. Raph had always been the strongest. And Leo had always been the most leaderly.

They thought they weren't good enough as well...? 

That... changed a lot. 

Mikey took a moment to look over each of them, feeling a surge of love course through him.

And they were willing to admit to those feelings? His brothers? The ones who always pretended emotions weren't a thing?

"Michelangelo." Ah, not the full name... he whined at the use of his name, but Leo was stern. "No, listen to me. We don't ever want you to change who you are. Not for us, not for anyone else. We like you."

"You may be different, but aren't we all?" Raph shrugged. Leo picked up again.

"We all have qualities that aren't healthy, Mikey. Like how Donnie ends up locking himself in the lab for days... Raph's anger-"

"Leo's self-sacrificial bullshit," Raphael said helpfully, earning a glare. Donnie poked them both.

"We don't want you to be like us." Said the genius, smiling gently. "We want you to be you. Our loud, expressive, and kindhearted little brother, who we love, so, so much. We don't 'put up' with you. And you aren't a burden. We love you, just the way you are." 

"...You guys." His voice cracked, and Mikey covered his face with a pathetic whine. He didn't even protest it when Leonardo pulled him close once more, guiding his head to the spot between his neck and shoulder and letting him bury his face there.

"It's true," Leo murmured, pressing a soft kiss on his head- and catching sight of the bandages. His eyes softened. And gently squeezed. 

"Mikey, I need you to promise me something."  The youngest looked up with a sniffle.

"I need you to promise me you won't ever hurt yourself again- no matter what," Leo said sternly, making him frown with confusion.

"Hurt...? But I didn't..."

"Hitting yourself with a book hard enough to bruise is still self-harm, little brother." The oldest sadly eyed his head and started petting him again. "I don't want you to change who you are. But more importantly, I don't want you hurting yourself, no matter the shape or form. You're my little brother. You don't deserve to be hurt, let alone by your own hands... it pains me to be the reason you are in pain. Can you promise me you won't hurt yourself again?" 

"..." Mikey didn't respond. Instead, he looked away with shame. "But it helps me concentrate..."

"Who cares?" Raph's voice raised in pitch, but he managed to calm himself before he started screaming this time. With a sigh, he leaned his head on Leo's shoulder as well. "We don't care about your ability to be silent and listen- you're annoying, yes, but I'm pretty sure that's your job as the youngest. So you can't focus as Fearless can? I can't either!"

"Neither can I." Donnie leaned over and curled up slightly. "I may be the smartest- but I think too much. You wanna know how many times I've tuned out the world around me to think of building plans and new inventions?" 

And then he stopped. And hesitated. "...And... well. I suspect something else being the cause of your trouble with a focus... but I don't think now is the time to talk about it."

"Wha-?" He looked up, confused. Donatello looked guilty.

"I... may have... been researching something. But I'm not done and still not sure... I promise there is nothing wrong with you before you think that way, I just don't understand it enough yet to make an accurate diagnosis... Is it alright if I explain later? I really can't now..."

Something else was causing his lack of focus? He wasn't broken...? Still lost but trusting his brother, Mikey agreed. Donnie sighed with relief.

"Good... I'm taking that book back, by the way."

"What?!" He flinched away. "No! Who will help you then if I can't learn?!"

"I'm not risking you hurting yourself again." Despite the chosen words, his tone was gentle. "You can have the book back later... Once you learn to love yourself the way we love you. When you want to learn because you actually want to and are not trying to please us. Then you can have the book back. But until then, I'm keeping it. Now, can you please answer Leo and tell us you won't hurt yourself again before I wrap you up in bubble wrap?"

"You won't actually do that." Leo turned to face him. Donnie's expression said it all. He shuddered. Then focused on Mikey again.

"Please, otouto? Please promise me?" He begged softly, never having stopped lovingly caressing his head. "I hate to see you hurt..." 

"..." Michelangelo took a moment to look at all three of them. They all looked so guilty and tired, probably having wrecked their minds trying to fix him and remember his strange attitude. He could almost picture it; Donnie hovering over him and making sure he treated every injury, Leo pacing left and right, and Raphael sitting by his side, waiting for him to wake up until someone dragged him out.

Worry... they worried. 

"...Okay." he finally relented, even if his mind was screaming at him no. He flinched and tensed slightly. "I promise." 

What do you think you're doing?

No no no NO! 

The others visibly relaxed at that. Leo was the first to hug him, making sure not to put pressure on his shell. "Thank you, otouto. Thank you."

"We promise, we'll work on communication." The smartest agreed, and joined the hug from behind, nuzzling into his neck. "...Maybe we should copy you on that." 

Raph snorted. "He tried to pull a Leo and sleep under cement instead of telling us he was upset. So how about no?"

Donnie opened and closed his mouth. And grumbled. His older brother snorted.

"If you wanna copy him so bad, take his speed instead." He decided and grinned. "Mike's always been the fastest." 

He immediately noticed the way Michelangelo took in a sharp breath. And paused.

...Oh.

Oh.

He made eye contact with Leonardo and Donatello. That was all they needed.

"Dunno. I'm still trying that fighting without thinking thing." The purple brother mumbled. "It's hard. And Mikey figured it out without even thinking!"

"Isn't that the whole point?" Leo asked, amused. Donnie huffed.

"You know what I mean! It's impressive!" 

"Or his way of planning." The leader hummed. "I don't think we would have understood Dimension X nearly as fast as he did." 

"Or his ability to see the good in everyone..." Donnie got a far-away look in his eyes. "With the world we live in... it's honestly impressive you can still see the best in people. It's a gift."

"Or how he always seemed to know what to do when someone is upset." Raphael hummed. "Reading emotions is hard..."

"Does cooking count? We have a limited amount of ingredients yet he still manages to make  something."

"If you have a brother called Leonardo, then yes," Raph smirked once Leo glared at him. "What? I'm not the one who set water on fire."

"That was one time!" He tried to defend himself. Donnie groaned.

"And I still don't know how you did it."

"Does it matter?"

"Yes."

Their speech got cut off by a sniffle.

Mikey had started crying again, looking at them with shock- most likely because he couldn't believe all the nice things being said about him. Their expressions softened.

"Or how you seem to brighten my day every day, just by being you." The leader smiled wetly when Mikey sobbed and pulled him back to cuddle once more. The other clung to him this time, finally allowing himself to relax and cry, overwhelmed, and completely fell apart. Leo started purring once more, more soothing than before. 

"How you use those chucks of yours- I know that took practice." Raph joined, finally, after Donnie hugged back. There was a slight purr behind his voice, which he for once didn't force down. "My fighting is good, yes. But yours is needed too, little brother."

"Do you have any idea how inspiring you are?" Donnie smiled too, slightly leaning his head against Mikey's. Well aware of the fact his cries got worse with each compliment directed his way. "Many of my techs are inspired by ideas you guys have given me, actually. A good chunk of them is yours." 

"And then there is how you always have everyone's best interest in mind. So kind and sweet you are." Leo was peppering kisses all over his head, never having stopped his deep, soothing purrs that got louder when the other two joined their pile. Mikey nuzzled closer to him, unable to express the amount of love he felt. So instead, he chirped weakly between sobs, a sound that was immediately answered with multiple churrs and clicks from the other turtles.

"Now, Michelangelo..." Leo purred and squeezed him tight. "I hope you like hugs... Because you're not getting out of here until that stupid belief of us hating you is gone forever." 

He paused his crying for a moment, and looked up with bloodshot eyes, thinking.

...He can't mean that.

Raph rumbled out an agreement and Donnie nuzzled his head. The youngest blinked. And melted into the embrace, accepting his fate.

Surely, he didn't mean that.

...He did mean that.

That entire day had been spent cuddling, having movie marathons and often pointing out other skills the younger had, making him get emotional many times. 

Talks had happened. More confessions had been made. Apologies had been spoken. Forgiveness had been given. 

Leonardo hadn't been kidding- he really did cling to him until Mikey finally managed to say that they loved him out loud for who he was... even if that statement alone had him bursting into tears again, not believing the words that were spoken. Those tears had gently been wiped away, just like all the other ones, his brothers not stopping trying to soothe him until his cries died down.

Still not okay, no... and believing their words was hard... but...

Mikey danced through the kitchen, humming a song as loudly as he wanted to be- because that's what he was, wasn't he? Loud. He was still curious about what Donnie thought was the cause for him being a bit different, but he also understood the genius needed his time.

Just as he thought about the smartest of the four, he heard a loud explosion from the lab. And paused.

"DONNIE!!!" Came two screams not even a second later, Leo already sprinting out of the dojo.

Raph was right behind him. "I SWEAR IF YOU BLEW ANOTHER HOLE IN THE WALL-"

Well... it wasn't like their family was the quietest, anyway. Mikey giggled and added just the right amount of salt to his dish. 

Despite what he had believed before, now that he paid attention to it... Donnie was actually quite loud. All of them were. And Leo wasn't near as perfect as he had believed him to be. Their "Fearless Leader" tripped over a pillow he threw in the corner today.

His concentration got broken when he heard someone walking inside. Raphael looked done with life itself and collapsed onto one of the chairs. He snickered.

"What did he do this time?"

"Blew up his bed."

"...His bed isn't even in the lab."

"Wanna bet he did that on purpose so he has an excuse not to sleep?" Raph smirked. Mikey rolled his eyes, even as his smile betrayed him.

"That is like- not nice, man. Have some faith."

"In Brainiac?"

Mikey was about to comment- when Donnie came back walking inside, half his face covered in black dust. Michelangelo opened and closed his mouth, speechless.

"...Do I even want to know?" Raph asked. Donatello shook his head. 

Leo walked in too, arms crossed and looking unimpressed. "Good news is the lair is undamaged..."

"Woohoo."

Donnie rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly. "...For your information, the scanner wasn't supposed to burst into flames..."

"What." The sunset-colored turtles looked flabbergasted. The leader glared.

"Apparently, his machine didn't explode. It caught on FIRE."

"...How did you even put it out?!"

Getting worried about burn marks, Mikey dimmed down the flame under the pan and made his way over to the other three to grab Donnie's face. The genius immediately went still, allowing Mikey to have a look.

"...He's fine." He shrugged. "You do need a shower, Dee." 

"Fine by me." He shrugged and turned around. "...And since I don't have a bed anymore, I must now use the night to clean the lab and make a new one OKAY BYE-"

"Wha- Donnie!" Leo called after him. Mikey burst into laughter while Raph groaned.

"Called it."

"He's planning an all-nighter, dude."

"Think he wants to upgrade the tank?"

"As if we'll let him." Leo scoffed, reaching for the cabinet to grab some snacks. "Turtle pile in the living room?"

Mikey's face lit up. "Sleepover!!"

Raph shrugged. "Pass." The youngest frowned, before looking at him pleadingly.

"Please?"

"No."

"Pleeeeeaaaaase?"

The older shoved him away. "Don't ever do that again." 

"You get to pin down Donnie." Leo offered. Then thought. "...And drag him into the living room."

The red-banded turtle smirked. "That's more like it!"

"Good. Can you get the blankets?"

"Sure. I'm picking the movie!!" And with that, he ran off before Leo could say anything else. He sighed goodheartedly and looked at Mikey. About to ask if he wanted pizza, saw the dish Mikey was preparing, and stopped. Instead, he asked.

"Snack preference?"

"Chocolate?"

"Got it." 

Mikey turned back to the dish he had been preparing and stirred it. Hmm... what was missing? 

Pepper? Pepper. 

So he reached for it- and smirked when he heard Donatello screaming from the other side of the lair. 

"Let your big brother give you some love!"

"STAY AWAY FROM ME!!!"

Maybe they were more similar than he thought. 

"Mikey?" Leo peeked back inside and tilted his head a bit. "Are you coming?"

"Sure, dude!" Michelangelo smiled in response, did a quick taste test, and then turned off the flame, going after his older brother to prepare the living room.

The food wasn't burned this time.