Chapter Text
>be me, 20 something anon living alone in an apartment in the middle of quarantine
>i do freelance web design from home (bet you never heard that before) so there’s no reason for me to go out
>work, eat, fap, sleep, repeat
>in other words life is great
>only issue is that my kiki mom got the downlow on the state of my apartment from a friend (now my ex friend, fuck you Nona)
>i might have a mild trash problem
>turns out that you can stack garbage bags pretty high as long as you’re careful
>sorta like a massive, super trash game of jenga where you’re the only player and screaming JEEEENGA just gets you a noise complaint
>i swear the ears on the old people above me are like radar dishes
>probably because one of them’s a werebat
>anyway long story short my high score was five bags 10 feet high (3 meters for those outside the realm of freedom) that i had to use a stool to stack them
>i can get around fine, and it’s not like anybody’s ever at the apartment except me so I didn’t care
>which is why i nearly shat myself when i was in the third part of my daily cycle and someone knocked on my door
>not the door to my apartment, the door to my bedroom
>i also had state of the art technology for home security, or in other words a 5 foot (1.5 meters for commies and their associates) jenga tower in front of the door so that i could always hear in case someone tried to break in
>since i had been fapping for a while, i was now debating if the loud explosion i thought was from the MC cumming was actually just the trash tower falling over
>i definitely had a burglar in the other room, and after failing an intelligence check I shouted, "You can take the PS4, not like it has any games anyway!"
>why i chose that moment to insult Sony when my life was on the line, i will never know
>that’s a lie i know exactly why i chose to do it it’s because it’s fucking Sony
Bloodborneforpcwhen.miyazaki
>after my hatred for the Japanese subsided i failed another intelligence check and followed up with, "And don’t come in unless you want to see a guy fapping to some hardcore shit. Just take whatever."
>i have never seen a door swing so quickly that it broke the sound barrier
>i didn’t even know doors could do that
>i wasn’t even telling the truth, it was just some wholesome childhood friend hentai
>i felt almost bad for whoever wanted to open the door badly enough to see whatever was on my screen
>like expecting The Rock to come to your birthday party but you get Mr. Rogers instead
>well, an alive Mr. Rogers
>my jaw dropped when i saw the robber
>i wouldn’t mind giving up a PS4 for her
>PS5 is too far
>she is the cutest thing i have ever seen
>cute fluffy ears
>fucking bows in her hair (the ribbon kind)
>bashful face
>cute maid dress
>and a rack that could hold every good game for the PS3 with room left over
>beautiful brown eyes
>her eyes couldn’t look at me for long though
>probably because i’m not good looking but i’ve never seen someone unable to do more than glance at me
>"It’s a pleasure to meet you, Canon. My name is Mora." She said with a curtsy to the door
>"So you’re not here to rob the place?"
>"Would you like me to, Canon?" Mora asked seriously
>"Not really. You can have the PS4 though, if you want."
>"Thank you for the offer, master."
>i gulped
>i blame oedipus for my love of maids
>"N-no problem. Not to be too nosy but uh… you know… why are you here? And how do you know my name?"
>"...in the philosophical sense, master?"
>"I mean why are you standing in my apartment? How did you even get in here?"
>"I got here through the door. Is there another way I should have entered, master?"
>god her voice was too cute too
>perfect inflection on the master
>demureness at just the right level for a slightly passive aggressive maid
>hnng
>"Can you at least tell me why you’re here?" i asked, controlling my kink
>"I am here because my parents had sex. Master~"
>"STOP THAT!"
>"Stop what?" Mora asked
>i genuinely can’t tell if she’s just fucking with me
>"Look I’m getting a boner and it’s… ahem. One moment please."
>i had never put my dick away and it was rock fucking hard
>i wanted to die right then and there
>no wonder she couldn’t look at me
>"Can I help, perhaps?" Mora asked, close enough that i could feel her breath on me
>"Yeah you can help me."
>That got her attention, although not on the right body part
>"Hey. My eyes are up here. You can help me by leaving. I need to finish up."
>"I can assist in the finishing up." Mora said quickly and elegantly. "Master." She added with a polite cough.
>"J-just leave for a minute! That’s an order! Soldier!"
>Mora left without any clever comebacks, which made me a little worried
>door was shut and i could hear maid things happening on the other side of the door
>vacuum, chainsaws, the usual
>may or may not have done some rapid clicking and found an oldy but goody maid doujin
>pathetic prince and spiteful maid never fails at its job
>i’m fapping at a speed no one thought possible
>pages are flying, heat is building
>i know the climax page is coming and
>mfw when Mora comes back in exactly one minute just as i asked
>"Master, surely this is a task for a maid. Are you sure you would rather do it yourself, master? Master? M~a~s~t~e~r?"
>she’s blushing like crazy, although she’s hiding it better than i ever could
>fuck it
>"Fine! Help me out here!"
>literally dives onto my crotch Mr. President style
>holy shit my dick has never felt so good
>her mouth was so warm
>like a miniature hot pocket that i could stick my dick in
>the way she looks up at me makes me even harder
>hard not to just fuck her face, even got the handles for it
>she moans when i touch her ears, and i do my best to be gentle
>not that she’s being gentle on my dick
>had to double check that she wasn’t just using a vacuum
>feel like i have my soul getting sucked out of me
>wouldn’t mind going hollow irl if this is what it felt like
>try to warn her that i’m gonna blow and what does she do?
>she goes even harder
>can’t help but blow almost instantly
>she’s massaging my balls, gulping down my cum and i can hear her doing it
>i’m in heaven
>pulls her mouth away from my dick all fancy, covering her face with her hand like she’s gonna burp or something
>dick is completely clean and i’m just mad impressed
>"Was that to your liking, master?"
>"I’d say so, Mora. Still don’t know why you’re here, but whatever. Still don’t know how you know my name."
>"Do any of us know why we’re truly here, master?" She asked, posing a question that I would never know the answer to.
>"You do. You’re here because your mom and dad had sex."
>she giggled
>goddamn it’s too cute
>i feel like a fucking normie
>makes me almost forget about Bloodborne not being on PC