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Language:
English
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Published:
2023-03-05
Words:
1,220
Chapters:
1/1
Kudos:
16
Hits:
208

Dart

Summary:

Do you know what darts are to snails? Bc Turbo only kind of knows, and realizes that he doesn't want his friends to know why there is a cerulean one in him right now.

Notes:

This is an old joke i had w these characters. As far as content goes, this is suggestive… if you're a snail. Which the characters are, of course. So idk it should make sense if you know the series or snails. The original joke was just one of em having a dart in them, but i guess that species be pokin mutually.

Also, Netflix is dumping this series at the beginning of April 23. Good thing i got the first season on DVD a few years ago: that one has all of the good episodes anyway.

TW/CW: suggestive humor, awkward situations, waking up, talks about sex/animal mating (but there is none of that in the story), persistent embarrassment, sex role jokes, teasing, extraction, a lot of exclamation points

Work Text:

Turbo knocked on Chet's door early in the morning, but didn't wait for a response before barging in. "Chet, Chet!!! You're never gonna believe this!"

Chet was just waking up when Turbo came in, so he wasn't able to snooze at all. He tiredly lifted his head and sneered in his direction. "Uhg. Turbo?? What is it? Did something happen???" He got up and faced Turbo's big grin.

"You bet it did!! Last night! Check this out!" He moved his eyestalks out of the way, revealing something jammed right into his mantle. "I got laid!!!"

Chet reflexed back when he saw it, thinking about how filthy it must be. "Gah! Turbo! What even–"

"I was just excited!! I wanted to tell somebody and thought you might be proud that your little brother finally found somebody that he could do this kind of thing with!"

"Turbo, do you even know what that thing is???" Chet didn't exactly want to be the one to tell him about the snails and the bees.

Turbo thought for a second. "Um, not really. I wasn't really paying attention when it came into the picture." He glanced away awkwardly. "I really like them, ya know?" He blushed.

Chet cringed, and then sighed. "That's a love dart. Snails jab them into their partner when they're mating."

Turbo stifled a giggle at the dirty joke he thought of, and Chet glared at him until he stopped.

"They're for deciding which partner is 'the female' in the, uh… event." He leaned over and took a look at the cerulean barb sticking out of him. "And it looks like you got stabbed pretty deeply with that thing."

Turbo shifted. "Aww, i'm the female???" He turned his eyes downward.

"Well, it seems like it. Did your dart land in Skidmark at all???"

Turbo shrunk and flushed. He dodged his eyes back and forth. "Whadaya mean?! Skid doesn't have anything to do with this!!!" His voice came out incriminatingly high pitched.

Chet deadpanned. "Nobody left the clubhouse last night, and that thing is the same exact color as him. It's really obvious, Turbo."

He shrunk even more, feeling embarrassed and guilty that their secret got out. He didn't want to let the others see it without talking to Skidmark about whether or not they wanted anyone else to know that they were an item. "Ah man, this sucks. Skid's gonna kill me if anyone else finds out we're together without us tellling them. You know how he gets about secrets!!" He bent his head forward and down in front of Chet. "You gotta help me get it out!"

Chet backed away from him with disgust. "No way!! That thing could have all kinds of bacteria on it by now!” He made an uncomfortable face. “Besides, it’s just a really creepy thing to think about. What it is, out of my own brother??? Bleh, not gonna happen!”

“What?! Chet, please! You’ve gotta help me get it out!!” He looked up with pleading eyes.

“I’m not gonna do that!!!”

“Please!!! I’ll do anything you want! I’ll get you a whole bottle of fancy ketchup! I’ll help Burn get gum so you don’t have to! I’ll even do safety patrol, just please get it out!!!" He whined and whimpered.

“It’s not happening, Turbo!!! You need to get out of here and get it handled yourself.” Chet picked him up off of the floor and started pushing him towards the door.

“What!? No!!! At least let me do it in here!!! I can’t let anyone see this thing!” He tried to resist Chet’s pushing.

“No!!! I don’t want it in here getting everything dirty!” Chet pushed Turbo out the door and locked it again before he could try to get back inside.

Turbo grimaced hard at being exposed in the hallway. He whined as he turned around slowly, hoping that none of the team was anywhere nearby.

Unfortunately that wasn’t the case. Whiplash was there overhearing that there was a commotion in Chet’s room. “Somethin’ goin’ on, Garden Snail??”

Turbo shrunk back in embarrassment, trying to cover up the dart on his back. “Uuummm…”

Whiplash’s face dropped. “What happened?”

“Oh, ya know… stuff..”

“Stuff that got that thing in your back??” Turbo grimaced hard. “You know this looks way worse with you comin’ outta ya brother’s room, right?”

Turbo made an incredulous face. “Ew!! Nonono, this isn’t from Chet!!!”

“I know. You really let Skid stick it inta you, huh?” He took a closer look at Turbo’s whole situation.

He flushed again. “You’ve gotta help me get it out! I can’t let the others see this thing! They don’t know that we’re together and I don’t want Skid chewing me out for spilling our secret!”

Whiplash was unimpressed and stared at him. Long enough to make Turbo even more uncomfortable. He glanced around and then looked at him with puppy-dog eyes. “Alright Garden Snail. I’ll help ya get that dart outcha’ back.”

Turbo melted onto the floor in front of him. “OOHH, THANK YOU WHIPLASH!!!”

They hurried back to Whiplash’s room, where he fished out a pair of tweezers from one of his skincare kits. “Alright, stand still.” He grasped at it and tried to tug it out. The grip slipped a couple of times without getting it dislodged. "Man! You really had Skid push that thing deep into ya!!"

Turbo whined again. "Ah, come on! You can make fun of me after you get it out, but just get it out!"

"Alright, alright. But i am gonna make fun of you after this." Whiplash got a good grip of the dart and pulled it back from the direction it looked like it entered his body. He pulled it out slowly so that he could keep his hold on it, and was able to remove the full length of the love dart.

Turbo grunted when it was fully removed. He turned his eyestalks to the puncture wound to see what it looked like, and it was really noticeable that something was just there. "Huhh. Maybe Chet'll let me use one of his bandages now that it's gone."

"Ah, don't sweat it, man. It's not like anyone is gonna see the actual size of that thing. OR how far you liked it inside a you." Whiplash laughed as they walked through the hallway. "Which makes me wonder… how far did you get your love dart into him??"

Turbo grumbled in embarrassment. He couldn't think of any good responses to the teasing. Before he could say anything, they heard shouting coming from the main room. Turbo rushed over, followed by Whiplash to see what was going on.

"CHECK IT OUT, GUUYYSS! Your boy Skidmark got LAID!!!" Skid was standing in the middle of the rest of the crew showing off the glowing, aqua blue dart sticking out of his mantle.

They all studied it quickly, immediately knowing the speedy source of the protrusion. They all slowly turned their heads towards the hallways with their mouths agape, finding that a crimson red version of Turbo was standing there in shock and horror.

Whiplash leaned to say something to him, which he did aloud. "Uh, yeah. That one ain't nearly as deep in him as yours was." Turbo glanced his eyes over and made a pained grimace at the embarrassment.