Chapter Text
The clock ticks forwards.
The sun rose slowly that he remembers. Walking to the campus once again unable to shake the sinking feeling he’s had since ascending to the throne. It is fine he thought, nothing is wrong the trash cannot hurt you they all fear you. He remembers the clouds seemed a bit thick that day, yet the air was not cool. No, the humidity stuck seemed to swirl around him. Making his clothes stick to him as if they were hands holding him back. It is fine
Time moves forward
Walking in the school hallways always felt off. Whether it was scurrying in the corners to hide from the higher tiers or watching as the weaker made way when his power was made known. Why should it? It has always been like this and it should be normal, right? Maybe it was different for someone who rose as he did. It is fine , he had his friends after all. He had Adrion, he had Claire. They probably hate you. Silly thought. Ignore the stares. They are always staring at you, you should hit them. He kept walking unable to shake the rotten feeling that was slowly starting to engulf him. It had never been this bad.
Another hour passes.
The roof feels different from anywhere else in his life. Somewhere above and somewhere safe. There is an odd feeling of both warmth and cold sitting up here alone. Though that may be the wind. It may be you pushing them away . Shut up. It is fine up here. He looked up at the cloudy sky and thought it might rain. Though he did not make to move. Something about this place called to him. Here it felt as if maybe he was free. You will never be fre e. Maybe here he could breathe without feeling like the air wasn’t constantly being stomped out of his chest. It always will . Maybe he wasn’t alone. They will all abandon you. No.
A door opens.
Stupid Adrion. How could he ever accuse Claire of concocting such a stupid plan? She would never turn against him. Adrion had to be hurt to be taught that lesson. Did he? Of course, he did that was how this world worked. She could not ever leave him. She could not leave. Just like mother. Stop. He was the king now, he fought everyone now no one can hurt him. No one can leave.
A letter is received.
Joy. What a weird emotion for John. He knows what it feels like but what confuses him was why it feels like he has just felt it for the first time in ages. He had a particular soft spot for Claire after all and an invitation to share some private time with her was just what he needed to get away from all the eyes. They will never leave. It is a bit windy out so visibility is a little hard. Probably why it looks like there’s a crowd out there on the flats instead of just her. Wait.
Time Moves Forward
Why? Why was there red? What is she saying? What am I doing? Is that me out there or another? It is moving too fast. Did she betray me? You did . She must have. That is why she is on the ground. Monster . Everyone leaves me. She must have too. All because of how weak I am? What is power if I couldn’t hold tight enough? Why does it all hurt?
Forward Ever More
Time is such a fickle thing. When it moves forward the brain may think a second lasts a lifetime as it cannot help but fixate everything to a moment and burn it to memory. Then it can move too fast for your mind to keep up. Days become weeks and a rampage can feel like a night's sleep.
A Door Has Shut
That was what John thought about on the bench in his hometown—staring up at the sky for a long while after Claire has shut that door. He watched how the sun fell through the sky as time marched forward. John could only watch as time laughed at him evermore.