Chapter Text
Head down, fists clamped, sickly drops of sweat beaded Zhang Hao’s forehead. It was time.
He willed his nerves to disappear as he stood up confidently, plastered a smile, and walked to the doors of the audition room. This was it. This was what he had been working for, so painfully and excruciatingly for the past 2 years- that it would not be an exaggeration to claim that it caused him enough suffering for a lifetime.
Go and try. But it won’t amount to anything.
Fine. Do it. But I hope you know that you won’t receive our financial support until you have proved that you can make it.
If you don’t pass grade 8 violin within 2 years, consider your dream as dead.
You cannot be anything lower than the best. No matter what path you take. My son will be number 1. Number 2? I don’t know him.
Zhang Hao was never meant to pursue music. He was the perfect model of a son, the one who would be shown off at every single family gathering, day by day, year by year, the family member every uncle and aunt would compare with their poor and hopeless sons and daughters who could only dream to be as competent as he was. He was the son who never disobeyed an order from his parents. Oh, so filial was perfect little Zhang Hao.
But as fate would have it, perfection was an illusion. Whatever led his friend, Chen Kuan Jui, to drag him to a Got7 concert that would shift the trajectory of his life forever.
Zhang Hao knew absolutely nothing about K-pop before going to the concert. Well, except for the fact a lot of (very) pretty boys and girls were to be found in there. But he never understood the appeal of watching these pretty people perform, do fanservice interact with other idols (just like every single human being on the planet, he noted). Yet, as he watched every member of Got7 dance and sing as if they breathed to perform, they emanated an unexplainable light- the same light that drew millions of fans to queue up to buy their albums, and tickets, and go to concerts. It was the same light that captured him, a boy who knew nothing about being a star.
The memory was forever embedded within him. His experiences, whether it be screaming along with Kuan Jui and the thousands of other fans in the stadium to every song in the concert, or simply meeting the performers that left him starstruck face-to-face at the end (Kuan Jui that rich brat, he had thought), it would never leave him.
The day the admissions letter for the university of business management arrived in his mailbox, he knew what must be done.
It had been hard for his parents to accept that he was going to deviate from the path that they had so carefully and cautiously set out for him his whole life- but they still loved him as their dear son at the end of the day. Zhang Hao only thought it was fair for them to ask for a strong compromise, and he was not going to back down. How could he? When he had already given his heart to his dream?
He retook the CSAT, as painful as it was, to pursue admission to an arts university. His parents funded his vocal, dance, flute, and violin lessons. Zhang Hao thanked God that he was also naturally gifted in the arts (to his parent’s massive surprise), and he progressed quickly in all areas. He prepared himself intensely so that when the day came, he would be able to make himself known- not as some nugu idol that would never see the echelons of popularity that only groups like BTS and Black Pink would reach, but to join their ranks. He would make sure of it.
And Boys Planet seemed to offer the perfect pathway. It was as if God had aligned this moment for him. Nothing would ruin it for him. And nothing will.
As Zhang Hao stepped into the room, he noticed that he was not the only boy in the room. Dark-haired, small-faced, with a pale yet warm skin tone. Eyes that seemed to hold the world in their sockets. Eyelashes that felt almost illegally long, as delicate as the welcoming cherry blossoms of spring. No, that would not be right. He was spring personified.
And when he smiled, it was almost blinding to look at him. Zhang Hao averted his vision slightly, and for some reason, felt slightly self-conscious.
The no-name-yet boy was facing about 44 degrees away from him and conversing with the judges in a meek and humble manner, and Zhang Hao flicked his eyes to the judges (which he just noticed) to find any trace of approval. The 4 heads seemed to hold chillingly warm smiles, perhaps of approval.
“Excellent. You are already ready to debut!”
Zhang Hao’s heart sank. He was about to be bested by someone? No. This cannot be happening. His heart was in a sinkhole, and there seemed to be no way out.
Suddenly, the no-name-yet boy noticed his presence. “Oh, hi there! You have cool ears! Oh wait… um… er… I’m Sung Hanbin by the way.” Zhang Hao refused to acknowledge the blush rising on his cheeks as he heard his mellifluous voice compliment his ears, the part of him that earned him many years of painful teasing and snide remarks. It was as if he had forgotten all his nerves for his audition in a flash. As Zhang Hao tilted to face him head-on, he had to hold himself back from fleeing to the mere sight of Sung Hanbin’s smiling face with his full attention on him. Him.
“Ah there you are Zhang Hao!” called out the main producer Do Kyungsoo. “I was going to introduce you two. Zhang Hao, this is Sung Hanbin from the K-group. Hanbin, you can stay and watch Zhang Hao’s audition while you recover from your audition. Zhang Hao, you may begin!”
Suddenly, Zhang Hao’s nerves returned, reminding him of everything that was at stake. He poured his heart and soul, into 2 whole years of his life for the sake of this goal: to debut. He could not mess up. How could he ever live with himself?
Not to mention, even as his brain rationalized that he shouldn’t care about what the other boy in the room would think of his skills, his pumping heart forced his head to admit defeat- he cared. He wanted to portray himself as a skilled individual. Someone to be feared. No, that wasn’t quite right. To be admired. Ah, yes, that was more like it.
As Zhang Hao conditioned his mind for his audition, the 4 judges were looking at him with great interest. Do Kyungsoo in particular, looked at the 23-year-old with a gleam in his eyes.
Do Kyungsoo is a renowned professional in the K-pop industry. Debuting as a main vocalist of the supergroup EXO in 2012, he had more than 10 years of experience. He made himself known through his excellent vocal skills. Within the K-pop industry, there was no one who could match him in vocal agility; riffing and running like there is no tomorrow. His belts are known to be extremely resonant, and his warm vocal tone has won the hearts of millions. In short, he was experienced, skilled, and famous. In recent years, he had taken a step back from the idol industry to focus more on his acting career, but he decided to venture into the world of survival shows, hoping to use his experience to guide promising individuals who would lead the K-pop industry in the future.
When Kyungsoo had seen Zhang Hao’s audition clips of him singing in China, he knew in his heart that this man was going to be a star. His vocal technique was still a bit unrefined, but his foundations were strong. Judging from his approach, he was being trained by a skilled vocalist, he avoided breathing shallowly, and his sense of vowel shaping was good.
Most of all, his voice was something special. It was somewhat atypical of an idol singer. Most male idol singers favoured using nasality to achieve a very ‘clear’ sound or would have a brighter, higher pitch timbre. But Zhang Hao’s voice had a sense of depth. His low notes were able to maintain a warm and rich tone, in contrast to most idol singers whose lower notes would become breathy and airy. At the same time, he is still able to execute high notes well, and his mid-belts sounded strong as if his voice was trying to resist something, yet prevailing. This would make him quite a versatile singer.
Hence, he eagerly awaited to see how Zhang Hao would perform in his face-to-face audition. Kyungsoo smiled to himself, and thought, “I would not mind imparting my technique to him.”
It was then, that Zhang Hao began singing.
Sung Hanbin opened his eyes in shock and wonder.
Zhang Hao decided to sing a song from Got7, titled Lullaby, the very group that started his pursuit on this path. It has a sort of easy-to-listen-to vibe, yet it feels assertive. A tricky balance to pull off. People who cover the song can come off as almost too careless, or too intense. For one to cover this song properly, one needs to emanate unmatched confidence, paired with a sense of assertiveness that would properly deliver the needed mood for the song to work.
At this moment, Zhang Hao’s many years of hard work paid off. His confidence seeped through his facial expressions. His eyes oozed a sense of confidence of an already debuted idol, yet there was still a touch of humility that surprised the judges. He delivered his vocal lines confidently and with sharpness and assurance. As he belted the notes, Kyungsoo’s eyes widened at the fact that he had improved from his audition clips considerably, inferring his immense hard work and willingness to improve. This left the judges with an extremely good impression. Most of all, his voice was intriguing; it was the voice of someone who had experienced hardships and had many stories to tell. It was a voice that showed experience and maturity, leaving listeners wanting more.
Sung Hanbin could not help but glue his eyes on this beautiful boy with long eyelashes, a stunningly handsome bone structure, and a golden voice. The image of Zhang Hao singing his heart out in front of the 4 impressed judges; it was almost as if there was a light surrounding him. Sung Hanbin silently captured this image in his heart forever.
After Zhang Hao finished his audition, he felt free. He had given it his all, and he knew he did well. He looked directly at the judges, whose faces were all wearing a matching smile, with the male judge on the right wearing one a tad bit wider than the other 3. Finally, he glanced and Sung Hanbin behind him, only for them to lock eyes with each other. Hanbin looked away, with a slight red blush rising to his ears, but Zhang Hao had looked front before he noticed. He smiled to himself. He gained recognition today, and this was only the beginning. He will debut, and nothing would stop him. Not even love.
Or so he thought.