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Chapter Text

Kaveh doesn’t like naming his ex. But Alhaitham is aware he had one (and that he gained one right after their infamous fight).

And maybe he’s a little bit jealous that whatever Kaveh had with that person was remarkably intense. 

The final indication of this is a stray letter he finds outside of Kaveh’s open room one day. His roommate is out shopping for groceries. But he did forget to close his room. The open ceiling fan is probably the culprit of the flying letter.

As soon as Alhaitham reads the first line- “I hate that I’m writing this to you”- he knows it’s personal. 

But is he curious about what his secret crush has written to the ex Alhaitham has heard so many stories about?

Yes. Yes, he is. So he will snoop.

“I hate that I’m writing this to you. Because you were always the cool and rational one in our relationship. But I was the flowery one, the emotional one, the fragile one. So I took the weight of our relationship as if it was the largest stone in Teyvat. While you treated it as a feather.” 

This description sounds… familiar.

“You robbed me of all my love. But you were the only robber anyone would willingly give up their entire selves to. Was I a fool? Because clearly, you were never interested in giving yourself to me. But I did it without hesitation. So maybe, yes, the world would judge me a fool. But my defence is simple- I was in love.”

Alhaitham’s jealousy was reaching unprecedented levels as he read this. Who Kaveh dates and breaks up with is not his business. But jealousy is like the blind lady of justice. It doesn’t understand all the excuses. All Alhaitham knows is that he’s extremely jealous of the man Kaveh loved so much.

“I was in love with you. I showed it every single day. But you ignored it as if my heart was just another offering for you in the sea of love you probably received from everywhere. Did you even care or pay attention to all the love everyone had for you? Would you ever care? Or would you always stay the stoic man for whom love is just another word in the ocean of words he reads?” 

This, again, sounded really familiar. A scene slowly took shape again in Alhaitham’s mind. Kaveh, shouting at him in that classroom, angrily throwing away all the papers lying on the desk in front of them. 

“What does that stoicness bring you?!” Kaveh had shouted. “Do you even care about the people around you? Do you care about me, Alhaitham? Or was this just another project for you?!” 

Alhaitham had flinched at that moment, because Kaveh was his first real friend. He cared. He cared more than anything else about both Kaveh and the project. He didn’t want to lose the sole human aspect he had in his life at that moment. 

“I never meant anything to you. I was just… another inconvenience, another person you had to talk to, another person you had to pretend to love.”

Alhaitham’s eyes widened as he read the last line. 

“I was just part of another project you had to complete.” 

This letter… it couldn’t be about him. How can it be? He and Kaveh had never dated. 

But Alhaitham started thinking. It was quite strange how most people just mentioned Kaveh’s ex. But nobody knew who it was . Nobody knew his name, nobody could give a physical description of him. Everyone had just assumed Kaveh kept hush about that man because he was working on something big and difficult back then. 

Wait a second. Had Kaveh ever even mentioned the word “ex” himself? Wasn’t it just…

“You made it!” Cyno was already a bit drunk (and therefore, obnoxiously cheerful) when Alhaitham entered Lambad’s Tavern. “We were waiting for so long .” 

“Yeah I’m sure you were,” Alhaitham remarked amused as he glanced at the drinks in front of Cyno, Tighnari and Kaveh.

The fact that Kaveh was there was a bit of a shock to Alhaitham. After their fallout over their last (and only) project, Kaveh had refused to even look Alhaitham in the eyes. 

“Alhaitham!!!!” 

And Kaveh was clearly drunk.

“Kaveh.” Alhaitham acknowledged a really drunk Kaveh in a civil manner.

“How are you, buddy!” It wasn’t even a question. Kaveh was just attempting conversation for the sake of it. But he was smiling and was clearly happy. Alhaitham didn’t want to rain down on his parade.

“Uh, good.” He could have asked Kaveh how he was. But he assumed the blond was a bit too drunk to be able to answer that question.

“Kaveh was telling us about a certain someone right now,” Cyno said.

“Oh?” Alhaitham would ignore that tiny feeling in his chest..

“Yeah, uh, Kaveh, who was it?”

“The person I was in love with!” Kaveh said dramatically as he laid his head on the table now. 

“And they broke your heart?” Cyno asked, patting Kaveh on the back.

“Yeah! That motherfucker probably never cared about anyone in their life.”

“Awww, that’s bad. Hope you get over them, brother.” 

The rest of the night went away in trying to control a drunk Kaveh from doing the most impulsive tasks. 

Alhaitham should have realised. The joke about Kaveh’s “ex” started from a conversation he was present in until it became serious.

But why did Kaveh never clarify? 

Alhaitham pondered over all the questions racing through his mind before he decided to leave the letter at Kaveh’s desk. His roommate would be back any minute.

Talk of the devil.

“I didn’t get the tomatoes,” Kaveh announced as he walked in through the door Alhaitham had opened.

“No Aaru mixed rice today then?” 

“No. But since it’s my turn to cook, I’ll make fish with cream sauce instead.” 

Food was food, Alhaitham decided. And whatever Kaveh made was always delicious.

It was on the dinner table that Alhaitham considered bringing up this topic again. But before he could do so, Kaveh beat him to it.

“Did you enter my room today?” Kaveh asked in a careful and cautious tone.

“What?”

“The ceiling fan was turned off, even though I had deliberately left it open because I spilled water on the other side of my bed.” 

Oh. 

Fuck.

Alhaitham could obviously only see one side of the bed.

“We don’t want a high electricity bill,” he replied coolly.

“Electricity is subsidised in Sumeru.” 

“It’s still irresponsible to waste electricity.”

“Electricity is made from renewable sources here.”

“Well, Kaveh, renewable doesn’t mean we get to waste energy.” 

Alhaitham had a good point. He knew he did. 

“Also, your room was open,” He added as he served himself the rice. 

“Oh,” Kaveh finally relaxed his expression. Alhaitham knew he had successfully convinced him he had not touched anything else in his room.

Would this really be a good time to bring up Kaveh’s “ex”? Probably not.

But time be damned. The scribe was dying with curiosity. He wanted answers now.

“What was your ex’s name?” He asked and put a spoonful of rice and fish into his mouth, eyes careful not to meet Kaveh’s.

The fish was delicious. And Kaveh’s carmine eyes were boring into his when he looked up.

“Why do you ask?” 

“You never mentioned his name.” 

Kaveh narrowed his eyes. “I never said my ex was a he.”

“You’re gay, Kaveh. I know. The Akademiya knows. The entirety of Sumeru knows. It was easy to figure out the gender of your ex.”

Kaveh’s expression morphed into one signifying he conceded.

“ If that ex even existed,” Alhaitham added carefully.

But now, Kaveh was clearly fuming from the inside. Since he was awful at hiding his emotions, he couldn’t help but air them. So, right now, Kaveh looked like he was trying very hard to decide what emotions his face was allowed to betray.

Clearly, anger won.

“What gave you that idea?” He asked with narrowed eyes again.

“In the tavern that day, you mentioned you were in love with someone. But you never said you were in a relationship.”

Kaveh waited for a more elaborate explanation. Alhaitham obliged.

“A few days later, Cyno had apparently spilled the beans to Dehya and Nilou. From Nilou, I believe, it spread to a few Akademiya members she was friends with. Then the whole Akademiya was on fire.

“But Cyno had made a mistake. He was drunk. So he clearly remembered the details wrong. And instead of telling people you were in love with someone, he accidentally told them you had an ex who broke your heart really bad. Hence, the story of Kaveh’s ex?”

Kaveh continued to stare at Alhaitham. The anger had evaporated from his face though, replaced by a mix of emotions the silver-haired man was trying to pick apart.

“But do you know what is even more strange about all of this? You never corrected Cyno’s mistake.”

There it was. The accusation that Kaveh had played along because it benefitted him. Because now, he didn’t look like a loser. He looked like the desired architect who had his heart broken by an ex who couldn’t care less. It was the perfect sob story.

“Of course, because of how much everyone admires and loves you, everyone ran with the story of your ex. Oh, poor heartbroken Kaveh. Who would dare to hurt the Light of Kshahrewar?”

Kaveh was very visibly upset now. Dinner wasn’t going as well as he wanted it to go.

“I was heartbroken actually. But you wouldn’t care about that, would you?” 

Was it just him or did Kaveh sound hurt?

“But it wasn’t an ex-”

“Does it matter?” Kaveh kept his spoon down. “Does it really matter, Alhaitham? That the person who broke my heart wasn’t an ex but just someone I was in love with? That I let the ex story go on for so long because I didn’t want the actual subject of my desire to get hurt?”

This… was surprising to the scribe.

“Wait, what?” Alhaitham had probably not expressed this much shock in his life to anyone.

“Believe it or not, the only reason I let the story run was not because of my reputation. Because if anyone even accidentally got to know who I was in love with, the project that man was working on could get ruined.” 

Alhaitham still didn’t get it. 

“I don’t get it.”

“You wouldn’t. Forget it,” Kaveh snapped and got up from the dinner table, his bowl only half empty.

Alhaitham couldn’t help but be assaulted by memories of that time now. Every fight with Kaveh reminded him of that.

Chapter Text

The Light of Kshahrewar was a pretty popular man in the Akademiya. Everyone knew him and loved him. His beautiful blond hair and carmine eyes complemented by his exquisite smile made both men and women swoon over him.

Alhaitham learned one evening that Kaveh did not care much about any of this.

“Senior Kaveh, I… wanted to talk to you,” Alhaitham heard a small nervous voice say. He was on the rooftop outside the Akademiya right now, something he did pretty rarely. Understandably, the Haravatat student was upset about his quiet moment being disturbed. He refused to turn his head though.

“Sure!” A bright voice followed. Alhaitham could hear the sincerity and softness in Kaveh’s voice. It made his heart beat faster than normal.

“Are you seeing someone right now, Senior?” the man asked, still nervous but a bit more relaxed now.

Alhaitham knew where this was going.

“No I’m not,” replied a genuinely apologetic voice. “I don’t have the time right now.” Alhaitham could sense Kaveh was giving a contrite smile. He clearly knew where this was going too.

“Oh. I understand,” said the now dejected voice.

“I’m really sorry.” Alhaitham was a bit mad that Kaveh was ready to apologise so quickly for something that wasn’t even his fault.

“It’s okay. You do work pretty hard so I understand.”

So he wouldn’t understand if Kaveh wasn’t working hard? Alhaitham reminded himself to calm down. Why was he so upset about this?

“Sorry about that.” Kaveh’s voice brought back Alhaitham to the present. “You were probably on this rooftop because you wanted some peace.” 

Alhaitham turned to finally spare a glance to the other man. His heart skipped a beat as he saw the smile on Kaveh’s face.

“No problem,” he replied. “Wasn’t your fault.”

Kaveh’s smile grew even bigger but more apologetic. “It probably is. I keep rejecting so many people. I'm afraid I’m creating a nation of heartbreak now.”

“You don’t owe anyone anything. If you don’t like everyone who confesses to you, it cannot possibly be your fault.” 

Kaveh’s smile now shifted to a smaller one. But one that was clearly taking in Alhaitham’s words.

“Really? Never thought about it that way, actually. Thanks.”

“No problem.”

“You’re from Haravatat, right?” The blond man asked.

“Yeah. Alhaitham. Nice to meet you.” Alhaitham knew his grandmother would be proud, wherever she was watching from.

“I’m Kaveh! Nice to meet you too, Alhaitham,” Kaveh said as he reached out a hand in greeting.

Alhaitham slowly accepted the hand, shaking them as he took in the smile on the senior’s face. 

His grandma would also probably be happy to know Alhaitham possessed the human ability to have a crush.

The next meeting Alhaitham would have with his crush was thanks to the Grand Sage himself proposing a project to him.

Alhaitham was already a prodigy of sorts and was starting to become pretty well known because of it. But his fame had clearly exceeded any measure of it he had taken by himself. He was invited to head multiple projects but inevitably rejected all those invitations.

This time though, Alhaitham was summoned to the office of the Grand Sage himself.

“We’re assigning you a project,” the Grand Sage announced with a slight smile on his face. Clearly, he expected Alhaitham to fall to his feet for this opportunity.

Alhaitham was already, as usual, planning to reject the offer. But he did not show it. “What project?”

The Grand Sage’s smile became small. “It’s a research project to analyse and suggest how housing resources could be allocated, mostly for Akademiya scholars. It would be done in collaboration with the Kshahrewar Darshan.”

A small part of Alhaitham immediately lit up at the mention of Kshahrewar.

“Who is collaborating with me from Kshahrewar?”

“You probably may have heard of him. Kaveh.”

Had Alhaitham heard of him? If his quickly beating heart could be taken as an indication, he probably had.

“Yeah. I know Kaveh. I’ll do it.”

He had never said yes to something this fast.

And he was thankful he had. 

The days started off incredibly peaceful. Alhaitham was freed from his other duties for participating in such a huge project. His classmates all wondered how he had consented to being part of something he had never even considered doing with other people. Nobody pegged him as the romantic type. Or the type to ever have a crush. So it couldn’t possibly be Kaveh.

But oh, how wrong they were. Sometimes, life’s biggest secrets are solvable by the simplest solutions. And the solution to all his classmates’ questions was simple- Alhaitham’s tiny (albeit growing) crush on his senior.

The Haravatat student met up with his senior in a variety of locations. Sometimes, it was Puspa Café, sometimes the House of Daena, sometimes Razan Garden, and sometimes even Lambad’s Tavern. The discussions started slowly and they always reached a fruitful conclusion before reaching home.

Initially, the agreements far outweighed the disagreements. Both Alhaitham and Kaveh performed their surveys of various areas diligently. Alhaitham researched all records meticulously to understand how resources had been allocated in the past. Kaveh drew up various hypothetical plans as part of his practice to ultimately draw up an excellent plan. 

In addition to the professional aspect of their relationship, Alhaitham and Kaveh also struck up an unlikely friendship. Alhaitham could see Kaveh was his opposite in some ways. But this encouraged him to deepen their friendship even more. They conversed about a lot more than just the project. Kaveh, ever the emotional man, became comfortable venting about his issues to his new friend. Alhaitham, ever the rational man, would offer interesting and new solutions to Kaveh’s troubles.

They were, at the end, a mirror to each other. At the core of their friendship was a remarkable similarity- both Alhaitham and Kaveh were authentically and unapologetically themselves. This fact pleased the two scholars.

The disagreements began when they started going beyond the theoretical and initial considerations.

“You think meritocracies are sensible?” Kaveh asked one day, clearly thinking Alhaitham wasn’t entirely serious.

“Yeah. We ourselves are a society that works on a meritocracy.”

“Of course. But, Haitham, what do you think about it?”

“I think it’s good. Beneficial. It’s the only way to organise society.”

Kaveh gave Alhaitham an uncomfortable smile. It was illuminated by the small spots of sunlight that fell from the outside of Razan Garden. “I guess different opinions are what makes us good friends, huh?”

Kaveh was probably right. And this disagreement would have been fine if it had not seeped into their project a few weeks later.

“Haitham, meritocracies can be flawed!” To the Haravatat student, Kaveh seemed uncharacteristically worked up over his suggestion of allocating houses.

“Everything can be flawed, Kaveh. Your ideas about compassion are severely flawed but I don’t tell you to not act on them, right?” As fate would have it, they were back again on the rooftop outside the Akademiya.

“What kind of a comparison is that?!” an incredulous Kaveh fumed, his voice rising in pitch and impatience.

“A sane one. Which is an aspect you have clearly forgotten applies to research projects.”

“No, I haven’t,” Kaveh replied with a cold calmness before reverting back to his anger. “You cannot allot people houses based on how much they contribute to the Akademiya. We know very well that people have circumstances that might disable them from performing well.”

“Well, neither the Akademiya nor the world works based on what our circumstances are. It recognises swift and efficient work. That is the only way the world functions.”

“No! No, it does not! Imagine if someone had said this to you after your parents’ accident and you didn’t have a grandmother to take care of you!”

Alhaitham went silent as soon as these words left Kaveh’s mouth.

The Kshahrewar student immediately recognised his mistake. “I’m sorry. It was unfair of me to bring up your personal life in this argument.” 

“I want to go home for today,” Alhaitham said. He despised showing he was upset, even if it was in front of his only friend.

“Yeah, no problem. And I’m sorry again.”

Alhaitham did not reply as he walked away. 

The disagreements not only increased after that day, they also became worse. Initially, everyone had assumed the arguments were simply normal bickering. But one violent table breaking incident at Lambad’s proved that the two weren’t just bickering now. It had degraded into something infinitely worse.

“I need you both to understand,” Tighnari started one evening outside Puspa café, “that whatever you’re doing is going to come to the Akademiya’s attention soon.”

“Tell the rational dumbass this,” Kaveh gritted his teeth. He was now seated on the chair opposite Alhaitham, head in his hands as his elbows rested on the table. Alhaitham sat up straight in his chair, his arms crossed and an infuriatingly neutral expression colouring his features.

“ Rational isn’t an insult. But you wouldn’t know that, would you? You never work with your brain.”

“I said rational dumbass but I guess you lack the ability to actually listen to people, don’t you?”

“Can you both please shut up while I’m here? Or I’m calling Cyno.” 

Tighnari’s warning worked as the two did not speak again. 

“Look, I don’t know what the basis of all these arguments are. But I suggest you both hold off on completing the project until things settle down.”

Tighnari’s suggestion was accepted in its entirety by the two men. Maybe what they actually needed was a break.

But even a month later, when the break ended, things… didn't work out. If anything, they seemed to have become worse.

The research project was nearing its end. Alhaitham and Kaveh were professionals. They knew they would complete the project. But they did not know what would be left of their friendship after that.

One day though, it became clear they had both lost a friend because of this project.

The meeting room for that day was an empty classroom. Sunlight poured into it that bright spring afternoon, illuminating every feature of Kaveh- who now sat opposite Alhaitham on one of the desk chairs. Maybe it was Kaveh’s beauty and a tiny renewal of his feelings for Kaveh that convinced Alhaitham to attempt a conversation with his project partner.

“Is the final allocation plan done?” Alhaitham asked.

“Just a few details left,” Kaveh answered, not once lifting his head to even spare a glance at Alhaitham. 

This irritated the Haravatat student a little. He couldn’t help but shake off the feeling that he was being kept in the dark about the final plan.

“Is there something you’re hiding from me?” Alhaitham asked carefully.

Kaveh finally looked up at him. Alhaitham hated how he noticed Kaveh’s blond locks lit up under the sunlight. “What are you implying?”

“You haven’t shown me anything about the final plan for days. Even if I’m from Haravatat and your junior, I’m still your partner for this project. I deserve to know what our progress is right now.”

“No. You implied something else with your question.” Kaveh definitely woke up on the wrong side of the bed today, Alhaitham decided.

“Probably that I’m worried you’re going to push your own ideas and completely ignore our final solution.”

And there it was. The deep mistrust Kaveh and Alhaitham had developed was out in the open. From being what some spectators described as “best friends” to having a relationship that was this degraded, the two of them had probably never faced a more devastating heartbreak- even in the absence of a romantic relationship.

Kaveh’s expression was one of pure rage before he stormed out of the classroom. But, Alhaitham noticed he had not taken his things with him. He deduced Kaveh was coming back.

And so he did. But it was nearly 20 minutes later. And Kaveh’s rage hadn’t boiled down. 

Kaveh slammed a file on the table. “Here,” he announced with a coldness Alhaitham did not expect from him.

“What’s this?”

“Why don’t you check for yourself?” 

Alhaitham opened the file to flick through the pages and was… shocked. This was not the plan they had come to an agreement on.

This was Alhaitham’s original plan. Even the slight changes in it introduced by Kaveh were those Alhaitham knew he himself would like.

“What is this?” he asked in a low voice.

“The final plan.”

“I can see that, Kaveh,” Alhaitham said with a slightly raised voice now. “Why isn’t our original plan the final plan?”

“Because you’re fucking obnoxious and I realised the Akademiya would only like a plan that resembled yours.”

Alhaitham remained silent as Kaveh continued.

“Because I thought about it, Alhaitham. I thought for the longest time what possible reason could be for them making me do this project with a Haravatat student. What would someone who studies linguistics and runes do in a project about house resources allocation in Sumeru? Then it clicked- you were the rational brain here.”

Alhaitham still did not speak. But everything made sense now.

“You were the brain of the solution the Akademiya wants. Why would resource holders themselves commission a project like this? To justify their own control over the resources and get someone to do important pending work in resource allocation research. It’s a genius plan, actually. But we were both just tools.”

An uncomfortable silence descended on the classroom.

“At least you were a tool they actually liked.”

“So you’re giving them what they want?” Alhaitham asked. He did not dare meet Kaveh’s eyes right now. He knew they must be raging. But he was also afraid of the sadness he would see in them.

“I’m giving them a solution that would help you get future projects too. Because no matter how comfortable you want to live doing the bare minimum, you still need to make a name for yourself. You need a decent job, at least, to live that cushy life you want. If we fuck up this project, all of this would be stolen from you-”

“That’s not for you to decide!” Alhaitham finally gathered the courage to look into Kaveh’s eyes- his stormy carmine eyes that were now filled with tears. He couldn’t control the anger in his voice though. “You don’t get to look out for me!”

“You were my best friend. Looking out for you was the least I could do. I could pluck the stars for you, I could shift the moon’s phases for you, I could create oases for you if that’s what you wanted. But you refused to let me in.”

“I did let you in!”

“You did not!” Kaveh shouted back. “You never considered that there was someone who actually fucking cared about you, Alhaitham! Because you didn’t care about me. You didn’t care about the fact that I was at threat of starvation as a kid. That I had motivations that gave me the opinions I have today. You only cared about what you thought, what you imagined, what you wanted.”

“That is not true-”

“You want society to be your way. You want society to cater to those scholars even now. You see the degradation of art they perpetuate. You see the misery they have created for the scholars. You see the lack of compassion they have for Sumeru’s citizens. But you do not care because all you want is a comfortable life where you are not disturbed while everybody else goes to hell.”

Their voices echoed in the empty classroom, a battle filled with pain and pent-up anger.

“And what’s wrong with that, Kaveh? What’s wrong with looking out for myself?”

“What’s wrong”, Kaveh’s tears were now spilling out of his eyes, “is that you will never learn to love another person, Alhaitham. You do not want to love another human being. You do not even want to love humanity! And that will be your true downfall.”

The spring wind was ruthless in how cold it made Alhaitham feel right now. How did he let someone know him this well?

But he already knew knowing someone too well was a curse. And he was going to make sure he used it against Kaveh.

“What about you, huh?” Alhaitham started, voice even more bitter than he had expected. What about you giving away your entire self to humanity? What do you gain except betrayals and no peace of mind?”

“I get to feel love-”

“You get to feel pain! That’s all you feel constantly. People use you, throw you away, tear apart your soul because you let them. You treat everyone as human. But that’s the only thing they never see you as.”

Spring had probably reversed into winter, given how cold it was right now.

“This stoicness of mine isn’t just how I am, Kaveh,” Alhaitham continued. “It’s equally a cover. It protects me and saves me from this world.”

The tears now spilled unrestricted from Kaveh’s eyes. His anger caused him to push aside all the papers on the table. “What does that stoicness really bring you?!” He shouted. “Do you even care about the people around you? Do you care about me, Alhaitham? Or was this just another project for you?!”

Maybe Alhaitham should have let the silence dominate. 

“I have other things to care about,” he finally answered with a blank expression. A voice inside him screamed this wasn’t what he actually wanted to say. He did truly care about Kaveh. He cared about the project. He cared about the starving children, the sick, the old. He just had his own ideas to save them all.

Kaveh announced his withdrawal from the project to the Akademiya the next day. Alhaitham submitted the final plan’s file. That is how the joint research project came to an end.

Alhaitham had always lived a comfortable life. Now, he was made even more comfortable as the Akademiya allotted him and Kaveh a home close to the Akademiya itself.

But Kaveh refused both the house and any future project offers for the time being. Rumour had it he was starting a private long-term project out of Sumeru City. Perhaps the rumours were true, given how Alhaitham never found Kaveh in Sumeru City in the next few months.

Four months later though, the tavern interaction was the first place he had seen Kaveh in after a long time. Kaveh looked happy. But a certain type of light had gone out from his eyes. 

When the story of Kaveh’s ex spread, maybe this is why Alhaitham believed them so easily. What else could have exhausted Kaveh so much that his eyes had lost all their spark? 

Now, he understood. He realised that it wasn’t an ex that had done this to Kaveh.

It was him. 

Chapter Text

Alhaitham cautiously knocked on his housemate’s door. 

“What?” came an irritated reply.

“Can I come in?” Alhaitham asked. 

Kaveh did not reply for a complete minute before he said yes.

“You didn’t finish your dinner,” Alhaitham replied to questioning eyes.

“Yeah. It was a conscious choice.”

“No. It wasn’t. You left the table in anger. I know you’re hungry right now.”

Kaveh, ever the fighter, chose to glare into Alhaitham’s eyes instead. A staring match ensued between the scribe and the architect. 

As always, Alhaitham won.

“Fine,” Kaveh conceded and accepted the plate from Alhaitham.

As he put the first bite into his mouth, Kaveh’s eyes widened slightly.

“You heated this up?” He asked in a small voice.

“Yeah,” Alhaitham replied carefully. 

Kaveh said nothing more. Alhaitham sat down on his bed.

“We really need to talk,” the scribe said.

“What about?” Kaveh’s face was turned towards his desk as he shoved more food into his mouth. Alhaitham observed he was eating a bit too fast. He must have a pending project. 

“A lot.”

This grabbed Kaveh’s attention. He shifted around on the chair until he faced his roommate.

“Okay,” was all he said as an indication Alhaitham should start talking.

“I think we need to address what happened during the research project,” Alhaitham said.

Kaveh hesitated. “There’s nothing to talk about there.”

“Yes, there is. Were our differing opinions really the only reason the research project fell apart?”

Kaveh’s eyes bore into Alhaitham’s. A flurry of emotions was visible in them.

“You’re saying we shouldn’t have become friends?” He asked, voice guarded.

“No. Our friendship meant a lot to me.”

Kaveh’s eyes widened as he heard this. “Why did you never show it then?”

“Because,” Alhaitham shifted a little from where he was sitting, “you might not understand it. But emotions are hard for some of us to show.”

Nothing more was said for the next few minutes as Kaveh processed everything Alhaitham had said.

“I was happy with the solution we had initially decided upon,” Alhaitham finally said. “It was a reflection of the both of us. But I lost my temper when you showed me the final plan. You didn’t consult me and you made it look like only my final idea mattered.”

“It was the one the Akademiya wanted.”

“Even then, Kaveh, we were researchers who had a degree of autonomy in the project. Our solution was perfect because it was derived from actual research and analysing the needs of the scholars. I was proud of our work.”

Kaveh did not look into Alhaitham’s eyes. “I assumed your solution was perfect in the Akademiya’s lens. And that my inputs were useless.”

“Your inputs are never useless, Kaveh,” Alhaitham replied a bit irate. “You have your own view of the world. It’s authentic and based on your own observations and experiences. It is not lower than anyone’s. It is a worldview that I hold to be of equal importance to mine.”

Kaveh’s surprised eyes reflected perhaps the most open emotion Alhaitham had ever seen in them. Because even if he always wore his heart on his sleeve, there were some emotions Kaveh had learned to hide.

“I’m sorry,” Kaveh said in a small voice.

“There’s nothing to apologise for. We both had our own views and issues,” Alhaitham replied.

“I made it personal on many occasions.”

“I ignored your history of being a poor kid so…”

“Yeah, that was an asshole move,” Kaveh laughed. Alhaitham smiled.

The scribe now stood up to leave Kaveh’s room. But Kaveh had different plans.

“You were right, by the way,” Kaveh said. Alhaitham turned around to look at him again.

“About what?”

“I didn’t get into a relationship after our project ended. I was too busy with another project.”

Alhaitham chose not to say anything.

“But I was in love with someone.”

“During your new project?” Alhaitham would never admit this to Kaveh (or, for that matter, anyone else) but his heart was hammering in his chest right now. It was painful. He did not want to know who Kaveh was in love with.

Kaveh hesitated before answering. “No. It was before.”

Before? Kaveh gave no indication he was in love with someone during their project. Was Alhaitham really this lacking in his observational skills?

“And he didn’t return your love back?”

“He didn’t know,” Kaveh gave a wry chuckle.

“He sounds a lot like me. So it makes sense he probably didn’t realise your feelings for him.”

Kaveh’s eyes widened. “How do you know about him?”

Oh. Shit.

“Your… letter-” Alhaitham started.

“You read my letters?!” Kaveh yelled.

“Wait. Letters?”

Kaveh looked like he had been robbed of his dignity as he incredulously stared at Alhaitham.

“If it makes you feel better, I only read one,” Alhaitham offered.

“No! No, it does not make me feel better!” Kaveh was clearly really angry with Alhaitham.

“It flew outside of your room. So it’s not exactly my fault.”

“Oh my god, you asshole. You could have just not read it.”

Alhaitham was frozen halfway into Kaveh’s door now. 

“Get out. I want some space,” Kaveh finally decided.

Alhaitham didn’t want to argue more. So he did as his roommate asked. But he had a mission now. 

He will find out who Kaveh was in love with.

It’s easy to declare a mission though, but insanely hard to actually accomplish it.

“For starters, Kaveh has given no physical description of the man he was in love with,” Alhaitham complained to Cyno one day. Both Tighnari and Kaveh were stuck in work for the night. Consequently, only Alhaitham and Cyno were drinking together.

“That’s strange. Maybe you just forgot something.”

“No. I have a good memory.”

Cyno narrowed his eyes at Alhaitham. “Well, we can confirm Kaveh definitely wasn’t in love with you. You’re obnoxious.”

Alhaitham gave a small smile. Was he heartbroken? Absolutely. Would he show Cyno he was heartbroken? His grandmother hadn’t raised him for this moment.

“What options do you have in mind?” Cyno asked after a few minutes.

“How do you know I have options in mind?”

“You’re Alhaitham. You’ve clearly investigated this.”

Alhaitham smiled again. “To start with, there’s Jazari.”

“Who?” 

“Someone from Kshahrewar who I know once confessed to Kaveh.”

Cyno narrowed his eyes in amusement. “Why would Kaveh be in love with him?”

“I don’t know. I’m just starting off with the people who confessed to him.”

“Those are really bad investigation skills for a genius like you.”

Alhaitham rolled his eyes. “Oh sue me if I’m not good at finding out who Kaveh was in love with.”

“Is it because you wish it were you?”

Oh.

Cyno’s observational skills were definitely better than Alhaitham’s.

“You want another battle between us, General Mahamatra?”

“Well, Alhaitham, I wouldn’t exactly call our… confrontation outside Aaru Village a battle . But I would definitely use that term to describe your struggle with the feelings you have for Kaveh.”

Alhaitham slammed his drink down. “I think that’s enough drinking for today. For both of us.”

“So you’re not going to admit you’re in love with Kaveh?” 

“There’s nothing to admit here.”

“Because it’s so obvious to many people?”

Alhaitham’s anger threatened to spill over Cyno’s playful mood right now. But he could also sense a certain amount of frustration in the Mahamatra’s sentences. 

“Fine. I admit I’m in love with Kaveh. So what?”

Cyno smiled. “So you tell him this.”

“No.”

“Why not?”

“Well, I’m not crazy.” 

The Mahamatra had gone up against Alhaitham once. He had seen him discuss an entire plan to overthrow their old corrupt government. He had seen Alhaitham actually achieve that plan and execute it to perfection.

But he had still never witnessed the scribe being this worked up.

“Alhaitham, do you see me as a friend?” Cyno asked, trying his best to hide his amusement.

“What kind of a question is that?”

“Just answer it.”

Alhaitham seemed to actually think it over! Cyno would tell him later how offended he was by this.

“I guess, yes. I do consider you a friend.”

“Then take my advice and confess to Kaveh.”

As expected, Alhaitham was shocked again at Cyno’s suggestion. Before he could raise his objection though, Cyno graced him with an explanation.

“The more you keep your feelings inside you, the more they will fester into something ugly. And the more they’ll prevent you from being efficient at your work. This is why I confessed to Tighnari fast. My feelings for him were making me lose concentration even at work.”

“So… confessing can make me do better at my work?”

Cyno was surprised this explanation actually worked. He would assume this would work on someone like Kaveh. But on a man as intelligent as Alhaitham, this shouldn’t be so easy. 

Maybe a man in love really did lose his rationality.

“Yeah. Trust me. Just confess to Kaveh.”

Of course, Cyno knew his explanation wasn’t entirely true. He was pushing Alhaitham to confess to Kaveh because he knew the truth of the situation.

Tighnari would be proud of him.

“You what?” Tighnari exclaimed in bed that night as he sat up.

“What?” Cyno was surprised Tighnari did not immediately appreciate his plan. “I am right. It’s so painfully obvious they both like each other.”

“So you asked Alhaitham to confess?”

“Yes…?”

“Archons, Cyno. You’re an idiot.”

“Huh?” Cyno now sat up on the bed too. “But my plan is perfect. Alhaitham confesses to Kaveh. Kaveh screeches like a girl in those romance novels. He runs out of their home for an hour. He then comes back, kisses Alhaitham passionately, confesses to him and then they have loving sex.” 

Tighnari’s disgusted face was even more pronounced now. Cyno understood he found this plan even worse than some of his jokes. 

“I cannot believe I like you of all people. I should have just accepted any of the other confessions I received.”

“But you love me!”

“Not right now, I don’t! Your personality is personally offensive to me!”

The couple continued bickering (albeit lovingly). 

But Cyno couldn’t help thinking he probably made a mistake…

Confessions were not something Alhaitham had expected to ever be at the giving end of. Like Kaveh, he had also been fairly popular in the Akademiya. But unlike Kaveh, Alhaitham did not mind rejecting his admirers in a rather harsh way.

The idea of being rejected that way was now a slightly terrifying prospect. 

“I’m home,” Alhaitham announced as he walked inside. Has he ever done so before? He couldn’t remember. His heart was beating too fast.

“There’s chicken in the kitchen,” came Kaveh’s voice.

“I ate at the tavern.”

“Well, you asshole, you should have told me before you were going to the tavern. I wasted all this food for nothing.”

“Sorry.” What was wrong with Alhaitham today? Since when did he apologise to Kaveh directly?

(Well, at least it was less expensive than buying an entire bottle of wine for him as an apology.)

“... No worries. Just sleep well.”

What… was happening in their house today? Alhaitham wondered why Kaveh was suddenly nice to him. Nevertheless, he finally decided to walk to Kaveh’s room. 

Kaveh was busy on another project today.

“Did you eat well?” Alhaitham asked as he stood in the doorway of Kaveh’s room.

Kaveh gave him a quick confused glance before he went back to his project. “Did you drink too much? Why are you being so nice?”

“You know I don’t get drunk.” Alhaitham replied.

“Yeah. Asshole move again, if you ask me.”

Why did Cyno not tell him how a confession was done?

“I met Cyno today.” Great start, Alhaitham.

“Oh, that’s good. How is he?”

“Good. His work is going well.”

This was useless! How will he ever transition to the confession this way?

“Good to know.”

“Do you ever feel like we resemble a married couple?” Alhaitham asked suddenly. Surely, this was a good transition.

Kaveh whipped his head and narrowed his eyes at his roommate. “Huh?”

“A lot of people say this.”

Kaveh seemed to arrive at an understanding. “Oh, did Cyno say so?”

“Yeah.” At least Alhaitham could lie well right now.

The issue wasn’t that Alhaitham wasn’t emotionally intelligent enough to confess. Contrary to popular expectations, Alhaitham was quite in tune with his own feelings and emotions. Most of the time, he knew what to say and when to say it.

But he had never confessed before to the man he had silently loved for years. Understandably, he was really struggling right now.

Kaveh turned his face back to his desk. “Maybe. Yeah. I can see why people think we look like a married couple.”

“You can?”

“We fit the dynamics. We cook for each other, take care of the other when we’re sick, talk about moving and buying new furniture more frequently than an actual carpenter and go to many places together. So it makes sense why people see us as a married couple.”

“Then we should actually get married.”

A silence Alhaitham had never experienced before descended on their home as soon as he said this. A really shocked Kaveh gave him an incredulous look after whipping his head rather violently to look at him. 

“I know your humour is a bit fucked up. But that doesn’t mean you can make jokes like these so casually.”

“It’s not a joke,” Alhaitham said, voice smaller than he had wanted it to be.

“You-” Kaveh started angrily.

“I like you, Kaveh.” 

Alhaitham decided it was now or never.

“I have for some time now,” he added in an uncharacteristically small voice.

Kaveh’s face went through a quick change of emotions in just 30 seconds- from shock to anger to shock again and then finally, a blush that grew violently.

“I hate you!” He finally announced as he ran out of his room, brushing shoulders with Alhaitham for a second (which earned an “Ugh!” from Kaveh again). Alhaitham heard the front door slam.

(Somewhere in Avidya Forest, a tingling went through Cyno’s spine)

What was he supposed to do now? Should he wait for Kaveh? Should he go to sleep? Alhaitham wasn’t sleepy though. So he decided to stay awake and wait for Kaveh.

Unfortunately for Alhaitham (and Cyno’s prediction), Kaveh did not return home that night. Worry invaded the scribe’s heart. But sleep took over him even faster.

The next day, as Alhaitham strolled into the kitchen, Kaveh was cooking breakfast.

“Kaveh?”

“Sorry I ran away yesterday,” Kaveh said, not once facing Alhaitham. “I’m cooking breakfast though. You can go sit.”

“No,” Alhaitham said immediately. Kaveh’s movements stopped. “I want to talk.”

“I’m hungry. I need to cook breakfast.” Kaveh still refused to even look at the scribe.

“I’ll make it for you then. But we need to talk.”

Alhaitham sensed a reluctance in Kaveh he had never seen before. Did he really dislike him so much?

“Fine,” Kaveh said, still refusing to look at his roommate.

“I want to see your face,” Alhaitham said.

Maybe it was the slight pain in Alhaitham’s voice that made Kaveh immediately whip his head around. But as Alhaitham finally took in Kaveh’s appearance at the moment, he saw a similar kind of pain coloured his features too. Years of unsaid words danced in the air around them. 

But Alhaitham was smart enough to know when it was finally time to say everything that had to be said.

“I like you, Kaveh. I have for the past many years. Even before we started the project, I was always looking for you, trying to find you in places where I knew you would never come. And then I was given the research project. I used to hate those things with a passion. Because you were right. The Akademiya seniors only used those projects for themselves. But if you were there, it couldn’t be that bad, right?”

Alhaitham saw Kaveh take a deep breath. But he continued undeterred.

“I was wrong though. Things fell apart even more than I could have fathomed. I lost both a friend and someone I truly loved because of that research project. I’m sorry that happened.”

Alhaitham had seen Kaveh crying many times. Most of the time, he comforted him in his own way (“This isn’t even a thing to cry about, Kaveh. You’re too sensitive”). But right now, it was too devastating to see the man he loves cry.

It was also confusing.

“Um… I’m sorry if I said something wrong.” Alhaitham had also probably never apologised this much.

“No, you didn’t,” Kaveh sniffled. “I just cry too much.”

Alhaitham smiled. This is what he had told Kaveh just a week ago. 

“I just never thought this day would come,” Kaveh added. 

Wait. Now, Alhaitham was really confused.

“You wanted there to be a day when I would confess to you?”

As soon as these words left Alhaitham’s mouth though, he understood.

And he was shocked he had never noticed it before.

“Yes, silly. I like you too,” Kaveh said with a small smile.

(Cyno attributed him waking up suddenly on a day of rest to the sunlight pouring in. Well, at least he could now look at Tighnari in peace.)

“So… the man you were in love with-”

“Was you, yes. It was you all along.”

“Remember when you once told Tighnari there was only one man you had loved to this extent? Was that also…?”

“Yes. That was also you, Haitham,” Kaveh’s smile right now was brighter than any stars the scribe had ever seen. “The one man I was- and still am- so in love with was you.”

“Why did you never tell me?”

Alhaitham could think of so many opportunities Kaveh could have confessed.

“It’s not a good idea to confess to your research project partner, particularly when you’re fighting with him everyday.”

Suddenly, everything made sense to Alhaitham as he put the pieces together.

Sometime during the project’s duration, Kaveh must have realised he had really strong feelings for Alhaitham. Ever the professional, Kaveh would have decided not to confess for the time being and do so later. But their fight had permanently ruined his chances to ever confess. So he must have kept it inside him, deeply hurt by the man he had always dearly loved.

The letter also made a lot more sense now.

“Just like you, Haitham, I lost both a friend and the man I loved.”

“Let’s never do a research project together,” Alhaitham said seriously.

Kaveh laughed. “I agree. I don’t want to lose a husband because of a project.”

Husband…? 

Oh. Right. 

Alhaitham completely forgot he had made a marriage proposal last night.

“Does that mean you agree to my proposal?” Alhaitham asked, uncharacteristically sheepish.

“Hmm, no actually,” Kaveh’s smile was even bigger now. “I just said husband because I felt like it.”

Alhaitham couldn’t wait any longer. Kaveh looked more beautiful than the moon and the stars right now. 

“Can I kiss you?” He asked Kaveh.

A furious blush took over Kaveh’s features, which was promptly followed by an unintelligible noise. 

“You’re so bad at this!” He exclaimed.

“Is that a yes?” 

“Yes, you idiot!”

Alhaitham remembered a story his grandma had told him once- of how many years ago, she had kissed a partner during Liyue’s Lantern Rite under the beautiful fireworks. 

“One day, my child,” she had said, “you too will find someone who will love you like this. Fireworks will explode as you hold them and they give you all their love.”

Turns out, the fireworks were actually supposed to burst inside Alhaitham’s mind as he kissed Kaveh with all the passion he could gather.

“So did you or did you not have sex?” Cyno asked. The TCG Genius Invocation game between Tighnari and Kaveh was so intense that Kaveh didn’t even hear the question.

“You cannot just use the Mirror Maiden’s burst here! That’s cheating!” Tighnari exclaimed.

“No it isn’t. It’s vaporise, you dumbass. You lost that card.”

“Ugh!”

Alhaitham looked at the exchange with narrowed eyes before he answered Cyno. “Yes, we did.”

“See, Tighnari?!” Cyno said. “You owe me 200 mora.”

“Wait, you made a bet with Tighnari about my confession?” Alhaitham asked incredulously.

Tighnari sighed. Kaveh was still lost in the world of Genius Invocation. 

“Yes. We did. Cyno said you both would definitely sleep together after you confessed. I have a tendency to not believe Cyno when he talks in constant puns and innuendos. So we made a bet.”

“Ah-ha! My Diluc’s burst has annihilated your Kaeya!” Kaveh shouted suddenly.

“Who in the world are Diluc and Kaeya?” Alhaitham asked.

“I don’t know. Collei gave me the Diluc card once. She said she got it after the Windblume festival as a gift from Sucrose.” Kaveh casually explained as he got ready for the next round.

“I wonder why Collei gave me the Kaeya card and not the Diluc one,” Tighnari said.

“Well, anyway, I won, Tighnari," Cyno said impatiently. "I’m always right when it comes to love confessions.”

“Yes, fine, I’ll give you the mora later.”

“What mora?” Kaveh asked. 

Alhaitham groaned. 

Cyno snickered.

“Nothing. Kaveh, You want to go up against me?” The Mahamatra asked.

“Sure! I’m gonna beat your ass!” An excited Kaveh replied.

Alhaitham smiled as he looked at his fiancè. Even if Kaveh was a big nerd, he still loved him.

That said, he too had to settle his scores against both Cyno and Tighnari.

He was a busy man after all.

Chapter Text

Page 18

A doodle of a Sumeru Rose. Messy handwriting.

Today I met this cute junior. Well, I met two. One confessed to me. Unfortunately I had to reject that poor guy. The other was… interesting. He’s a junior from Haravatat- Alhaitham. He told me I didn’t owe anyone anything. And it makes sense too. I’m gonna take his advice! Here’s to a more confident and self assured Kaveh! 

Page 18

Stray sketches of the windows in an Akademiya classroom. Neatly scribbled following words-

Today I got assigned a new project! It sounds super interesting. But my (possible) work partner in particular is even more fascinating. It’s Alhaitham, the junior I once interacted with. Apparently, the Akademiya really wants him on board with this project. But I’ve heard he always rejects proposals for any projects. It’s sad seeing him not make use of his talents by doing so. But that’s his choice. I respect that. If he does magically agree though, it would be great! I have so many ideas.

More stray sketches follow

Page 19

Half-finished sketch of a sharp pair of eyes

He agreed!!!!!!

I wonder why I’m so excited though…

Page 20

Notes from a meeting scribbled messily. Additional lines with a cramped handwriting added in a small area at the bottom of the page-

Today was my first meeting with Alhaitham. He seems to be a very level headed and rational person. It made me a bit nervous. Even though he’s only two years younger than me, most people his age aren’t so mature. His personality is definitely in contrast to mine. But I think that might make the project more fun and balanced. Maybe this is why the Akademiya put us both together! I should always be optimistic about these things. 

Page 21

Stunning sketch of a home. At the bottom right, instead of a signature, these words can be found-

I miss mom

  Page 22

Nothing else can be seen on the page except this note-

Today was the 5th day of me meeting Alhaitham for the project. It’s already been two weeks. Our discussions are going well. But he opposes some of my suggestions pretty quickly. Even then, I cannot bring myself to argue with him much. I’m not sure why. It’s not that I agree with his views. I feel like they lack a certain altruism that is required of humanity in general. But there’s something about him that makes me want to not argue much. So we mostly end up agreeing.

Page 30

A sketch of a man. He wears a strict expression, conveying little. His lips, though, are tugged slightly upwards, almost as if forming a smile.

Today, Alhaitham opened up to me about his grandmother’s death. I could have never guessed a guy as stoic as him could have been so humanly affected by a death. Of course, it does makes sense. She was his only surviving family. It was a lack of understanding on my part that I associated him only with his surface nature of stoicness and calmness. He is human too, after all. I felt a pang in my heart as I heard him today. Even as I remembered my own father’s death, at that moment, I only wanted to hug him. I wonder why that desire was so painful to me. Was it because somewhere, I realised I can relate to him? That we’re not so different after all? I promised myself to see him in a kinder light at that moment. I think he deserves it. He is a good person at heart, even if he doesn’t show it with outward actions. 

Alhaitham, this senior would do his best to take care of you and listen to you.

More lines follow, although written clearly on a different date-

It’s been five weeks since Alhaitham and I were assigned that project. We meet a lot more than necessary. In fact, it’s almost every day now. Maybe it’s just my desire to grow closer to him- which I don’t know the root of. We talk about a lot more than the project, though. I like talking to him about anything and everything that concerns me. His solutions are quite interesting. He always gives me an entirely new perspective. It’s refreshing, new and most importantly, stimulating for me. I feel like I could spend all my days with him. 

It is a bit weird how he doesn’t seem to have any friends, though. Sure, he’s reserved and reticent about his thoughts. But he’s a nice person, overall. I feel like people just need to make efforts to get to know him. 

His eyes are also really pretty…

Sketch of turquoise eyes with orange pupils

Page 32

Seemingly a monolith of academic notes. But somewhere in the middle, in parentheses-

(Today, I saw Alhaitham smile. It… did something to me. I don’t understand what’s happening. I just want to hold hands with him now. What is wrong with me?)

Page 35

Lone entry-

Today, I thought about mom’s trembling hands again- the same trembling hands that couldn’t draw anything after her husband’s death. As I looked at my hands today outside Puspa Cafe again, I saw they were illuminated by sunlight. And perhaps it was this illumination that made me concentrate more on the slight trembling that is a part of everyone’s body. What if it becomes worse for me? What if it results in me being incapable of ever being able to make a single sketch again?

As I was thinking this over, Alhaitham came and stood beside me. He asked me if I thought something was wrong with my hand. Since I don’t hide anything from him now, I told him truthfully why my mind was in turmoil at that moment, even if it did not seem that way. We started walking. And Alhaitham listened to everything I said carefully. It was surprising. Nobody ever entertains anyone else to this extent, unless they deeply care about that person. He told me to focus on the now, on what sketches I can make right now, instead of future possibilities that may or may not manifest into reality. 

He did say a lot of other words too. But I couldn’t really hear them well. I knew he was comforting me in his own way. It made me realise what a gift he is in my life. I’ve been thinking about it so much lately. I want to hug him, comfort him, and be with him during every hour of the day. I enjoy his company, I enjoy even his silent presence. I want to hold his hand, I want to be closer to him. I cannot believe it took me so much time to understand.

Dots of ink follow, almost as if the author seemed to be ruminating while he tapped the pen against the paper constantly. The following sentence seems to be a conclusion of the thinking session-

I think I’m in love.

Page 37

Sketch of a smiling blond man in his late 30s on the left side. On the right-

Alhaitham and I had a small argument today. It wasn’t big. He just thinks I’m an idiot for wanting to do so much for everyone. He knows the reason. But he still thinks it’s dumb of me to throw myself away for other people. He’s always trying to convince me that I shouldn’t feel guilty about father’s death. But I’m not sure if he understands what guilt really feels like. If he did, he wouldn’t be telling me this. 

I do wonder though- does this show he cares for me? I guess I’ll never know, right? I cannot let my feelings come in the middle of our project anyway. That would be disastrous.

Page 38

Alhaitham is stubborn. So, so stubborn. I don’t understand him sometimes. He doesn’t lack empathy. That much is obvious. But he doesn’t seem to be understanding the change that I am seeing in the Akademiya now. Everything is so mechanical, so academic. There is no soul, there is no respect for the arts. Alhaitham seems to be supporting these ideas even more. And his entire monologue on meritocracies was incredibly boring. There is no way I’m going to accept that merit alone determines someone’s worth, enough to assign them Akademiya resources. Is that all human worth is based on? The amount of work we do? That’s ridiculous. Kindness and generosity drives the world. Alhaitham showing kindness to me has helped me so much to deal with the loneliness that had been eating me up. Why doesn’t he understand then? Am I the wrong one? 

On the right of the page, seemingly written after a few days-

I am extremely annoyed with Alhaitham. But I also feel so guilty about today. I shouldn’t have brought up his grandmother in an argument. I know how hard losing family is. So I don’t know why I said that. I’m an idiot. I cannot believe I keep hurting people I truly love. Am I destined only for this?

Page 39

A building's sketch. The following words seem to be unrelated to the sketch-

I am raging today. I am so embarrassed that I don’t think I’d ever be able to show my face at Lambad’s again. Alhaitham doesn’t understand anything I say. He’s insistent that running after my ideals would ruin me. What do I do then? Do I just abandon them? No. Ideals and human beings are the essence of being human. So of course, we were just fighting about this. But breaking Lambad’s furniture was unanticipated for us. 

I wish we could stop fighting. But that’s all we do now. Ugh! I can’t believe I’m in love with him

Sketch portrait of a man with silver hair on the top right. On the bottom, another note found in a different handwriting than the before, possibly indicating a different day of writing

I know Alhaitham is capable of understanding human emotions. I know he can be empathetic. He’s more perceptive and intelligent than even the most well-read and knowledgeable scholars in the Akademiya. Maybe it’s just the romantic in me speaking but I even think he can surpass them all.

But. He. Is. Such. An. Asshole. Our fights are never ending. We even went on a month-long break! But nothing came out of it. Some days, I see him calm. And all I want to do is hold hands with him. Or kiss him. Or both. But he’s infuriating as soon as he starts talking. 

I’m sick of him.

Page 40

Notes scribbled about a plan.

The Akademiya never actually wanted me in this project, did they? It all makes sense now. I was just a tool for them. Is this all that art is reduced to now?

Stains resembling tear stains mark the right side of the page. The following words are written in an exceptionally neat handwriting, indicating the lucidity of the author. A different writing tool suggests the writing of the same on a later date-

I’m not sure what love is anymore. Is love simply just wanting to be with someone everyday, supporting them through everything? Or is love wanting to hold their hands constantly, while desiring all forms of physical proximity to them? Or is love accepting the flaws of your loved one, even if they’re a world apart from you in their thoughts and actions? 

Today, I know I ruined everything. Alhaitham and I are not friends anymore. I’m not sure if we would ever be able to even utter a single word to each other now. I wish he could listen to me. I wish we could have one last talk. I wish he didn’t look at me like that- as if he wanted me to disappear. As if I was a sight for sore eyes. 

He has never loved me. I don’t know why I continue to do so.

Page 109

Light sketch of a man again, sharp eyes and downturned lips. 

Yesterday, I saw him again. He was at the tavern. He looked as handsome as he always does. Did I ever mention that my favourite part about him is how those light turquoise eyes complement the pale turquoise undersides of his hair? Anyway, it felt like I detected a trace of… concern in his features? But that’s impossible. He’s Alhaitham. He does not care about me at all.

He did suggest something outlandish yesterday, though. Maybe he feels pity for me. But he suggested that I… live with him for some time. I wonder what this is about.

Page 112

Sketch of a building. Small note scribbled underneath

Dear Future Kaveh, 

Please stop falling in love with assholes again.

Love, 

Kaveh from the past

Page 113

Several notes. All seem to be written on different days. On the top left-

I don’t like you. I don’t like you. I don’t like you. We’re not friends anymore. You want something from me. This is why you let me stay here

Below-

His eyes are beautiful…

Middle-

Does he hate my cooking? Why does he always eat with a blank expression? I hate him.

Right-

If parallel universes existed, and if the Akademiya could somehow prove their existence, I’m sure that in none of them would you ever like me. You know why? Because your frigid gaze reminds me a lot of the Mondstadtian mountain of Dragonspine. You’re just as unrelenting, just as cruel and just as incapable of providing humanly warmth as that damned mountain. Initially, I thought you were this way with everyone. But sometimes, I wonder if you reserve the worst for me. Is that your twisted way of showing care, perhaps? Or do you just hate me and pity me so much? 

Small rough sketch of hands follow

How much am I in debt to him, I wonder?

Page 117

A full sketch of a man, with the same sharp eyes seen in earlier sketches. This time, the man has a smile on his face.

Sometimes, I look at you and wonder why I fell in love with you. Perhaps it was because of the way you sometimes looked at me, gazes pregnant with love. Or perhaps it was because of how you went around helping people in your own ways, whenever you felt like it. Or perhaps it was because of how interesting all the topics you introduced for our conversations were. Or perhaps it was because of how you did not want to prove me wrong, like an obnoxious debater. All you wanted to do was get a new perspective. 

Either way, you were an asshole. So I don’t know why I fell in love with you

Words written days (or hours) later-

I hate how you make me feel less lonely. I hate that the loneliness I had stored inside me for so long was pushed away by you. Even now, as I’m writing this, you refuse to leave me alone. You refuse to give me a day of peace. I hate how this makes me feel less lonely. I wish I wasn’t in love with you even now.

Page 122

I hate being in love so much. I wish he was mine.

Page 139

Detailed sketch of two men in a room- one on a chair, another on the bed. The man on the chair faces the man sitting on the bed. The eyes are even more detailed, expressing two raw emotions- concern and love. 

I can’t believe you’ve always loved me. This was days ago but… you wouldn’t have brought that heated meal to me otherwise. I’m really dumb, right, Alhaitham?

Chapter Text

Our existence floats on the expanse of a sea that is the universe. It is untethered. Yet, the thought of it flying away is never a consideration for the universe. For what else would existence find its base in, if not its lover, the universe?

Kaveh wouldn’t go as far as to say his existence was tied with Alhaitham. That would be equating his lover to the universe. He would not be giving Alhaitham another reason to slip into conceit.

“Kaveh, get up,” his boyfriend said lovingly. Or rather, Kaveh convinced his brain it sounded loving. Alhaitham was probably grimacing at the moment.

“Go away,” he groaned and pulled the covers over him again.

“It’s the last day of the Lantern Rite. You cannot rot in your inn room the whole day.” Alhaitham reasoned.

“Watch me.” 

The universe stared down at existence with a scowl. “You’re unbelievable.”

“Yeah, well, how about you go say that to the man who was flirting with you yesterday?” Kaveh’s undignified and hurt voice was muffled from under the blanket. But he was sure Alhaitham must have heard him well.

His boyfriend let out a sigh. “You know I hate fighting with you. Don’t do this today.”

Kaveh sat up and glowered at Alhaitham. “So you wouldn’t even deny that the man was flirting with you. Not only that, you were encouraging his coy flirtations. Do you think it escaped my notice how he was cozying up to you and how you were just letting him do it?”

“How? How was I doing it?” Alhaitham challenged.

“Well,” Kaveh huffed, “when he was showing you something on that scroll of his, you both were smiling! Together! As if you were sharing a secret only lovers could share.”

“Uh huh. And that was it?”

“No. Of course not. What about him showing you around Liyue while leaving me alone with Chef Mao?” 

“Go ahead. I want to hear more of the ways you think he was ‘cozying up’ to me.”

Kaveh stumbled upon his words. This vexatious man! He couldn’t believe he was dating him . 

Kaveh chose to pout and strut towards the restroom instead of entertaining any more of Alhaitham’s attempts at outsmarting him.

The few stray lanterns floating in the early morning air reminded Kaveh of the stars he occasionally enjoyed viewing from the Akademiya, and consequently, of his first meeting with his boyfriend. 

His boyfriend, who was now sitting in front of him with an infuriatingly neutral expression.

Kaveh scowled. “It’s the last day of Lantern Rite.”

“I’m aware.”

“We haven’t even shopped for anything together ever since we arrived in Liyue.”

“ You have shopped enough, I’m sure.”

Kaveh sighed loudly. “I’m done with breakfast,” he announced. “ And going for more shopping.”

After making this proclamation, he stood up, more theatrically than he had intended to. 

“Any objections?” He asked with a creased forehead and narrowed eyes.

Alhaitham looked up. “None.”

Ugh! Kaveh wanted to rip off his hair.

“Fine!” he stormed off. 

Kaveh strolled around, cursing Alhaitham under his breath, until his eyes landed on an unexpected visitor.

“Cyno?!” he exclaimed.

“Oh, Kaveh,” Cyno greeted him with a cool voice and slightly widened eyes. “Did not expect to run into you here.” 

“You knew me and Alhaitham would be visiting Liyue for the Lantern Rite, though,” Kaveh tilted his head in confusion.

A flush passed through Cyno’s cheeks- almost inconspicuous, had it not been for Kaveh’s sharp eyes. “Did I now?”

“Alhaitham told me so. That you and Tighnari knew.”

“Must have forgot,” Cyno gave a small smile. Was Kaveh imagining it, or was it really… nervous? “Anyway, nice to meet you here! I have some work to do so I will take your leave.”

Kaveh’s eyes narrowed. “Work? On Lantern Rite?”

Cyno chuckled nervously. “I’m a workaholic, aren’t I?” 

Kaveh wasn’t so sure. 

Was the whole world conspiring against his back to annoy and confuse him? Kaveh groaned in frustration. But can he, as a man of science, rest easy in just mere frustrations? Absolutely not! What a disgrace he would be then. 

And so Kaveh decided to follow Cyno.

Cyno walked in a manner that indicated he had a clandestine meeting to conduct- constantly glancing behind him and pursing his lips as he walked with quick steps. Kaveh found this utterly strange. This was Cyno . Cyno never walked in such a way. The Mahamatra was the last person to conduct clandestine meetings anyway.

Cyno came to an abrupt stop in front of a fish seller. Kaveh squinted his eyes. Was he really buying fish? But no mora was furnished to the fish seller. Cyno simply started moving again, albeit more slowly.

Kaveh followed him carefully, until the man he was following came to a stop again. This time, he was just a few steps away from the fish seller, slightly hidden from the general public.

From the other direction, Kaveh could see a man walking straight towards Cyno’s direction. He squinted his eyes again. Tall, silver hair, coat with a green front…

Alhaitham?!

Kaveh’s eyes widened as the man in question greeted Cyno. They conversed for what he assumed were a few minutes, with his boyfriend mostly nodding to Cyno’s words. The discussion was over faster than Kaveh had expected it to. Both men walked off in the direction Alhaitham had arrived from. 

Kaveh felt wholly befuddled. What in the Teyvat was happening ? There had to be some rational explanation of Cyno travelling all the way to Liyue and holding surreptitious meetings with Alhaitham. 

But Kaveh received no certain explanation for the next few hours. The exhilaration for the night of Lantern Rite was rising with more fervour. Children laughed merrily and ran around, while adults readied themselves and slowly ceased their work to get into the holiday spirit. In the midst of this, he assumed it was unlikely he would receive any explanation from either of the two men’s sides.

Evening fell in the lit up city of Liyue Harbour. The festivities were coming to an end. And Kaveh felt strangely nostalgic. He regretted how he had not spent enough time with his lover in the period of this famed festival. 

This thought threatened to torture him with gloom, until Alhaitham returned to their inn room.

“Where were you?” Kaveh asked with a neutral tone, attempting to conceal any suspicion he had or his own dejected spirits.

But Alhaitham was, after all, his boyfriend. “Why do you sound like a wet puppy on a cold day?”

“What-“ Kaveh huffed.

“Are you not going to get ready for our final night here?” Alhaitham asked.

“Of course I am!” Kaveh huffed more as he stood up to dress himself in the Liyuean outfit Alhaitham had purchased for him. A part of him melted at the lavender colour of the long dress. To say it was beautiful was an understatement. It was almost as if Alhaitham had intended for only Kaveh to shine in the evening.

Well, if that was the case, he would shine even brighter than the lanterns tonight.

The incandescent lanterns gave off a strong glow. Kaveh reasoned this was because they wanted to light up the universe. He glanced back at his boyfriend walking behind him.

He wanted to light up the universe too.

“Are you angry at me?” Kaveh asked as they walked through the lit up streets. Alhaitham had convinced him to walk to a spot with him to the Yujing Terrace. He had reasoned it was for better viewing purposes.

“Why would I be angry at you?” Alhaitham said with the familiar infuriating neutral tone. 

But Kaveh, for some reason, did not feel piqued by that. “Perhaps I am too… exasperating?”

“Who told you that?” 

Did Kaveh imagine it, or did Alhaitham’s tone undergo a slight change? “No one. Just a thought I had myself.”

“Mend your thoughts then.”

The two men spoke nothing after Alhaitham’s suggestion. They climbed the steps to the Yujing Terrace. The view greeting them was phenomenally beautiful- the terrace was lit up completely. But only a few people populated it.

“Are you sure this is a good spot? Barely anyone seems to be here,” Kaveh asked with concern.

“There are better spots. But I prefer this one,” Alhaitham answered coolly. 

Kaveh narrowed his eyes slightly. “You’re a strange one.”

The spot they chose was directly beside the long steps they had climbed. Kaveh waited with bated breath for the lanterns to be released.

This was it. His entire vacation would end with this. Kaveh felt regret creep up in his heart. Maybe he shouldn’t have been so mean to his boyfriend. Perhaps he was only trying his best. After all, Alhaitham was the one who had suggested they take this vacation. Had Kaveh messed up his lover’s sweet respite time then-

“You look beautiful.”

Kaveh turned his head slowly to his lover. “Pardon?” he asked, completely dumbfounded.

“I said you look beautiful,” Alhaitham said, eyes still fixated on the sky. 

“Yeah, I heard that. It’s just strange coming from you.” 

“Why? I’m your boyfriend.”

Well, Alhaitham had a point.

“Never mind,” Kaveh said as he fixed his gaze back to the sky. “But… thank you. You look good too.”

Alhaitham gave a low chuckle but chose to reply nothing. 

“When the lanterns are released, look at the sky carefully, Kaveh,” he finally said after a few minutes.

But before Kaveh could ask why Alhaitham had asked him to do such an obvious task, the lanterns were released into the sky.

The incandescent orange glow of the lanterns lit up the sky in a way that left Kaveh completely awed. No creation of the world, no creation of even his own, could ever rival the joy he felt at the union of Liyuean lanterns embracing the sky, almost as if they were coming back to their lover.

Kaveh gasped in shock as he took in a single lantern after a minute- closer and more strange than the others.

For it had a scroll hanging from it, spelling out the words “Would you marry me, Kaveh?”

His eyes went wide as he took in the words and looked at his company, mouth agape and unable to form any words.

Alhaitham finally looked at him, after what had felt like years of stolen and furtive glances, but had only been a few days.

“How long have you been…” Kaveh trailed off in an attempt to form a question.

Fireworks went off in the periphery of Kaveh’s eyes, colouring the sky in more hues. 

“My grandmother talked about how she had kissed her lover under Liyue’s fireworks and lanterns once, during the Lantern Rite. I had always wished to recreate it, but add a special memory of our own to it.” 

Alhaitham’s words were filled with love and fondness. Kaveh’s tears spilled down his cheeks as he heard this.

“I know I offhandedly mentioned wanting to marry you. But that wasn’t enough. I wanted to make an official proposal. I wanted to… make sure you receive the best proposal-“

Alhaitham’s words were cut off as Kaveh’s lips crashed against his. Their lips moved in a content harmony for some seconds before they disconnected with a smile.

“Yes,” Kaveh whispered. “My answer will always be yes.”

Alhaitham’s smile widened. “You really do cry too much.”

Kaveh laughed with his head thrown back and gave a weak punch to his boyfriend’s arm. “I can’t believe you were planning this for so long.”

“Mm-hmm. I waited for nearly a year for the Lantern Rite to arrive. Even Cyno helped out.”

Oh.

“I cannot believe you made him travel all the way to Liyue just for this,” Kaveh said, the smile never leaving his features, as he turned his eyes to the lanterns again. The most special lantern in the sky was still floating. The thought of other people seeing it made his cheeks assume a crimson colour.

“He came with Tighnari. And all he had to do was release this lantern.”

“Was that man involved too? The one I assumed you were flirting with?”

Kaveh glanced at Alhaitham stealing a look at him. In the brief seconds their eyes met, Kaveh felt the universe align with existence with an even more powerful force.

“Of course he was. He’s a calligrapher. He also helped procure the scrolls for this mission.”

“ Mission ?” Kaveh laughed.

“And you know I would never flirt with anyone else.” 

Kaveh blushed again and gave a comfortable smile. “You’re infuriating.”

“I know. But I love you.”

Kaveh slipped his hands into his boyfriend’s. Their fingers interlocked as sparks went through his body. He would never grow old to this feeling.

“I love you too. Thank you for making this the best marriage proposal in Teyvat.” 

“Make sure to tell Cyno that too. He wants to do something bigger for Tighnari. But I won’t let him beat me.”

Kaveh laughed again, a hearty laugh that tugged at the strings of Alhaitham’s heart. 

“I’ll help him, actually. Friends always help friends,” he said with a smirk as he moved closer to Alhaitham to rest his head against the silver-haired man’s shoulder.

“And lovers don’t help each other?” Alhaitham asked petulantly. Kaveh could have never imagined he could release this side of his boyfriend.

“Hmm. Maybe husbands do.”

The two men chuckled as they gazed at the lanterns caressing the skies.