Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

It had been almost three years since Jang Uk and Cho Yeong’s wedding day. Their unconventional ceremony had been as simple as could be, with only Master Lee in attendance, a simple flower crown in Yeong’s hair, and the lingering knowledge that they might not even have a tomorrow. It could have been a melancholy affair, but there had been a sweetness in the air that had chased away their fears and dread, their love being all that mattered. Their time together afterwards had not lasted long, but their separation had been temporary, and now they were building a life together. Against all odds, happy endings did sometimes exist.

As did happy beginnings.

Yeong woke up one morning in early spring feeling unusually anxious. She prided herself on her confidence, but even she had moments of uncertainty. She was in a predicament; a very manageable one, but this was an area in which she had no experience and very little knowledge, and she hated not knowing what she was doing.

“Uk,” she called to her husband, who was just finishing getting dressed, “We need to talk.”

“Oh? Is something wrong?” Uk asked, crossing the room to kneel at her side. He could sense the tension in his wife’s shoulders.

“I am pregnant.”

There was a moment of heavy silence while this information sunk into Uk’s brain.

“You are what?!”

This reaction was more or less what Yeong had expected. In certain circumstances, Uk was easily flustered, despite having a reputation for being cool and collected. These last few years had mellowed him away from his dark, merciless persona, which made him even more so. She could still remember the moment years ago when she had falsely claimed pregnancy before the Unanimous Assembly in an attempt to ensure they could stay together. Uk was still not over that.

His mouth was currently opening and closing repeatedly, which made him look like a fish gasping for air. If this were not such a serious moment, Yeong would be smirking right now. Instead, she smacked him very lightly on the cheek with one hand. “Uk! Snap out of it!”

Uk snapped back to attention as bid. “B-But now? We are not ready!”

Yeong raised one eyebrow. “We have finished hunting for Jinyowon’s relics. You will become Gwanju of Cheonbugwan soon. What better position could we possibly be in?”

“One where we planned this?”

“Everything will be fine,” Yeong assured him, placing her hands on his shoulders to ensure he looked at her, and attempting to emanate as much confidence as possible. “We wanted a family, and now we are going to get one. We have friends who will help us if we need it. We can do this.”

“Of course we can,” Uk conceded, softening. He wrapped her in his arms tightly. “I am sorry. I was just surprised.”

“If you are disappointed about this I shall be upset. This is supposed to be a happy moment.”

“And it is! It is just…mildly terrifying.”

There was another moment of silence as they held each other.

Yeong swore. “I have no idea what to do, now.”

Their first order of business, the couple soon concluded, was to go to Sejukwon to have Yeong checked over. The two were nervous about revealing their news to the world so soon, but Master Heo Yeom, as a physician, knew how to be confidential and discreet. He would ensure they could tell others in their own time by keeping the reason for their visit to himself.

“It is still early,” Master Heo said as he gently examined Yeong’s stomach, “But I see no cause for concern. You are both completely healthy.”

Uk beamed at Yeong’s side, erasing her fears that her news had been unwelcome. She could feel a warmth in her chest as she smiled back at him. Who would have thought that she would ever have the chance to be a mother? As frightening as the concept was, she could already imagine a little girl or boy who looked just like Uk. She would raise him or her to be strong and independent, like she had been raised to be, but also to be generous and compassionate. And above all, their child would be loved by their parents.

“Thank you, Master Heo,” Uk said as the elderly physician wrapped up the examination. “How often should Yeong come in for check-ups? Every two weeks? Weekly? Twice a week?”

“Uk! I hope you are not going to take this as an opportunity to coddle me,” Yeong complained.

“Of course not, we just need to make sure you stay healthy. I was only asking.”

Master Heo chuckled. He was in a good mood, too, most likely due to his granddaughter’s recent marriage. “Monthly at most! Now, Young Lady Yeong, you must take good care of yourself in the coming months. I will compile a list of remedies and steps you can take to make this as risk-free as possible. Be vigilant!”

“I will, Master Heo,” Yeong replied. “Thank you for your time.”

The couple left Sejukwon with light hearts. Yeong opened the folded list that Master Heo had given her on their way out, scanning it carefully. “Remedies for morning sickness…ginger, some teas…this is a lot of information, Uk.”

“Do not look too closely at that. What if you trip over a root because you are not watching where you are walking?” Uk protested, moving as if to take the page from her hands.

Her glare stopped him short. “Uk.”

“No coddling,” Uk said, raising his hands into the air in a gesture of surrender. “I know. But am I wrong?”

Yeong sighed heavily. This was going to be a long seven months.

The news of Yeong’s pregnancy had spread as far as Chwiseonru by late afternoon, which ensured that the couple was well and truly outed. Master Heo may have been discreet, but his granddaughter, who still worked at Sejukwon, had no love for Yeong and had spread the news far and wide.

Yeong visualized dunking Heo Yun-ok into Lake Gyeongcheondaeho repeatedly as she and Uk, who had just arrived at Chwiseonru to visit Madam Ju-wol, braved the excited woman’s congratulations.

“We were all starting to wonder if this would ever happen,” Ju-wol was saying, her eyes sparkling. “There were even rumours that Young Master Jang must be impotent after all, but that his wife must love him too much to leave him.” She placed a hand gently to her heart, as if moved.

Uk, who had graciously decided to order tea instead of alcohol to show his support for Yeong during the coming alcohol-free months, spewed it all over the table.

Ju-wol continued on, undeterred. “I am so glad to hear they are untrue. Our guests do spread the most unkind rumours sometimes. But your news will bring many joy. Everyone loves babies!”

Yeong groaned and muttered to herself, “I wish they would go and love something else.”

“Tell me everything,” Ju-wol said, leaning forward eagerly as Uk continued to choke while Yeong patted him firmly on the back. “Do you want a boy or a girl? Do you have any names picked out? Do twins run in the Jin family, or were your younger sister’s boys spontaneous? Because if they do, your odds of having them may be high, and that would be so much fun - ”

This was going to be a very long seven months.

Evening-time brought Maidservant Kim to the Jang estate, whose excitement had reached levels where she could barely hold it in. She herself was now the proud mother of an unexpected child, a little girl she and Park Jin had named Aera. “I am so pleased for you both,” She told them as the three sat together. “Though I do wish I could have heard about it from you, Young Master Jang.” She shot Uk a disappointed look, but it was softened by her enthusiasm.

Yeong had been looking forward to Maidservant Kim’s reaction. She was a kind woman and very knowledgable, especially now that she had been through this herself. Her advice would help Yeong combat her lack of confidence.

Then Maidservant Kim got to her feet and brought out a measuring tape from what looked like thin air. “Young Lady Yeong, please stand just here in front of me. This will only take a moment.”

“You…want to measure me?” Yeong inquired in confusion.

“Yes, I do. Most of your clothes will not fit you. Not in the later months. We need to pre-order your maternity wardrobe.”

Yeong’s jaw hung open for a split second. She experienced vivid flashbacks of a long-ago fitting for a certain Queen’s Banquet, during which Maidservant Kim had forced her into dozens of clothes.

“You will need at least twelve new outfits,” Maidservant Kim continued, a gleam forming in her eyes.

Yeong shuddered in horror.

Later that night, Uk and Yeong lay together in bed, staring up at the ceiling in the dark, both deep in thought. They held hands under the sheets, finding solidarity in each other’s presence.

“Is this what our lives are going to be like, now?” Yeong asked after a while. “We spent so long being interrogated by other people today that we missed the evening meal.”

“It will be fine,” Uk replied, rubbing her shoulder soothingly with his free hand. It felt good against the aches that had been forming under her skin these last few weeks. “Once the excitement dies down, they will move on.”

“You are the King’s Star, and I am the strongest priestess in Daeho,” Yeong pointed out. “Are we sure they will move on?”

“…It does occur to me that Lady Jin is going to be thrilled at another chance for a granddaughter.”

The two thought on this quietly for a moment.

“We are in trouble,” Yeong said.

As the lovers slept that night, news continued to spread throughout Daeho Fortress that the eldest daughter of Jinyowon and the Young Master who possessed the ice stone were finally expecting their first child. Nobody could have predicted the scale of the chaos that was about to unfold.

Chapter Text

A long time ago, Cho Yeong made the decision to set down her sword and never pick it up again. Her life as an assassin - the life that she had been raised for - had weighed on her soul in the worst of ways, extracting every drop of joy from her body; leaving every bright day dark in her eyes. She had known no other way of life since she was a little girl, but she had known that this was not what she wanted. This was not who she wanted to be. She had even had plans to leave it all behind once her father was avenged, to live isolated but free, but life had taken her in another, much better direction.

Her determination to never shed blood - to never inflict the splitting of flesh or breaking of bone again - was stronger than ever, and her priestess powers and the responsibilities she held in helping Daeho move forward to a greater, happier future were more than enough for her.

Now with a wonderful husband, friends, and a baby on the way, she wanted for nothing.

But there was still one problem. It was a tiny issue. Minute. But it was very, very irritating.

People liked her.

Yeong had always been told this was a good thing, and in many cases, she had discovered since, it was. But there was a dark side to popularity. People’s eyes were on you whenever something happened, and the fallout from those instances could be overwhelming in the extreme.

She stepped outside the morning after the news of her and Uk’s expectant arrival had erupted throughout Daeho to find the first of many consequences of her popularity - and Master Heo’s granddaughter’s loose lips - sitting before her in a pile that rose at least three feet high.

Servant Lee was staring at it, sweat already forming on his forehead despite the early hour and mild weather. He bowed at her approach. “My lady, these gifts all arrived this morning.”

“Gifts?” Yeong repeated in confusion. “From whom?”

“I-It would appear…from everyone, my lady,” Servant Lee replied anxiously. “Many great houses have sent gifts, as well as lesser officials and citizens of the capital.”

She let out a breath of realization. They were congratulatory gifts for the coming baby. This was sweet. She thought again of this life that she had been blessed with against all odds, and smiled.

“You are happy about this, my lady?” Servant Lee asked, clearly confused. His features were stretched with stress.

“Yes, should I not be?” Yeong inquired, wondering if there was something she did not know.

It turned out there was. “Well, you see, with things like this, you are expected to send a personal thank you to each sender. A-All of them. Otherwise, they will be offended.”

After a few seconds of awkward silence, Yeong mentally began to estimate the number of gifts that had been dropped at their doorstep. She lost count at around one hundred and fifty.

That was more than one hundred and fifty separate, personally written notes.

Yeong had no intention of ever harming another human being again…but if Heo Yun-ok showed her face around here too soon, Yeong was not going to be responsible for her actions.

A blissfully unaware Uk strolled out into the morning air, before coming to a sudden stop and blinking owlishly. He looked from his wife’s face, to the pile, and back again.

Servant Lee cleared his throat.

Uk grimaced, apparently already well aware of what this meant. “It has been less than twenty four hours.”

“Then there may be more on the way,” Yeong concluded. Although her mind screamed violence, she pushed aside her ire and stretched her fingers, determination welling inside of her. “Uk, meet me in our room in five minutes. I shall bring paper and ink. Servant Lee, bring us a plate - no, a platter, of honey biscuits. If we work efficiently, we may even be finished by sunset.”

“Sunset?” Uk burst out. “You mean you want to actually write all these notes?”

“When tasked with a difficult mission,” Yeong stated sternly, “It is best to face it head on. The faster we get started, the sooner it will be over.”

Uk opened his mouth to voice another objection. “But - ”

More than familiar with Uk’s unwillingness to do what he did not want to do, Yeong employed the one phrase she knew would move him - both an encouragement and a threat. “It is better to die than do nothing,” She interrupted with dignity, hands on her hips, glaring pointedly at her husband.

Uk groaned.

Yeong worked efficiently, her brush a blur over paper, her eyes shining with energy. She gripped a honey biscuit between her teeth, placed there by Uk, before wiggling it into her mouth and biting down. The sweet taste spurred her on.

Life as a priestess may be what she wanted, but she would never again enjoy the fitness and physical prowess she had once had. Her overworked fingers currently felt like they were about to fall off, and although she was successfully tolerating it so far, waves of morning sickness swept through her body.

Servant Lee stepped into the room to refill the depleted biscuit platter, also delivering what Yeong was relieved to see was a letter, and not another gift. More gifts had, as she had feared, begun arriving, but they were a slow trickle that was already tapering off. The majority must have already arrived that morning.

She needed a break, so she set her brush aside and opened the letter, leaving Uk to continue writing without her.

“Oh no,” She mumbled, her eyes widening as she scanned the paper rapidly. “Anything but this.”

Alarmed, Uk moved quickly to her side, resting one hand on her shoulder. “What is it?”

Yeong lifted the paper into his view to show him the crest of Jinyowon, which was etched onto the corner of fancy letter-paper. “It is a dinner invitation. From my mother.”

It still felt strange to call Jin Ho-gyeong her mother, but Yeong had accepted the identity of Jinyowon’s eldest daughter, as she resided in her body. Although she now went by her true name instead of Jin Bu-yeon, and had given up her place as Jinyowon’s heir in favour of living a freer life than being tied down to a place she had no personal attachment to.

Yeong was hardly close with Lady Jin (forever would the day tracking thread had been sewn under Yeong’s skin linger between them), but they had chosen to remain family and had enough of a rapport to do so, and Yeong was now close with her younger sister, Jin Cho-yeon. They were the nearest thing to family she had, besides Uk and Maidservant Kim.

But Lady Jin never held a dinner just to spend time with her family. She always had another motive, because although she had become a much more pleasant person over these last years since she had overcome her obsession with her eldest daughter, she was still nothing if not efficient.

“She will be interrogating us, then,” Uk sighed wearily. “She so badly wants a granddaughter.”

Yeong gently touched her still-flat stomach. “I cannot turn this baby into a girl if it is not already one. It has already been made.”

“She will still want to talk about it. And Dang-gu told me she brings out a brood hen for him and Jin Cho-yeon every now and then. The twins are already two, and she wants them to try for a daughter, as well.”

“So they will likely be invited, too,” Yeong concluded darkly. At least she and Uk would not be the only victims of her attention. Whatever plan she had cooked up would be slightly nefarious. Yeong still remembered last time, when her mother had insisted the couple stay overnight (she always did after her dinners), and a potent aphrodisiac had mysteriously made its way into their guest room.

Uk clearly remembered, too. “We can still escape this, Yeong,” he said passionately, taking her hand in his own. His face shone with hope. “We can tell her we agreed to babysit for Maidservant Kim that night.”

“That,” Yeong objected wryly, “Is the least believable excuse we could possibly use.”

“Why? Are we not having a baby ourselves?”

“Two years ago you chased Park Dang-gu around the courtyard because he convinced me to watch his baby. There were rumours about it - Ju-wol asked me if you two had duelled.”

“I would have won if we had,” Uk declared boldly.

“Nobody will believe you are willingly watching someone else’s child.”

“Wait,” Uk said, suddenly distracted. He gestured at the letter. “Is there something written on the back?”

There was, in fancy print. It read, “I know you are free on the 5th.”

“She knows,” Uk breathed.

“Looks like we will be going,” Yeong said off-handedly, before dropping the letter back next to the biscuit platter. She returned to her brush and paper, kneading her lip with her teeth. She was far more nervous about this than she was letting on. But she had once been the Shadow Assassin. They would not attend this dinner unprepared.

Meanwhile, Uk pulled a bottle of soju out of a nearby cabinet, before hesitating at the sharp look that spread across his wife’s face. “Never mind,” he muttered, sheepishly sliding it back inside.

It occurred to Yeong that her husband could use a better method for coping with stress than soju and escapism.

Daeho Fortress was abuzz with news. The citizens of the capital were the greatest medium available for spreading information, because they could do it within hours. The second greatest medium were notices, some of which were dedicated solely to bringing fresh gossip to the people every morning.

The biggest, boldest, most sensational headline today, slapped onto the front of a seedy looking paper and tacked onto a board carelessly, read, “Jang Uk and Cho Yeong - Excited Future Parets, or Disilusoned Lovers?”

Yeong stared at it with her jaw slightly open. She was not offended by the shoddy brushwork, the ridiculous misspellings or even the vague and completely untrue allegation found in the small print that some believed an affair had put this baby into her (because why else would it have taken this long for her to conceive unless Jang Uk was indeed impotent and she had sought solace elsewhere), but by the fact that so many people were gathered in front of it.

Did they have nothing better to do?

“What do you think?” One woman was saying to her companion as they read the notice together. “Could she really be seeing another man behind Jang Uk’s back?”

“Poor Jang Uk,” her friend replied sadly. “It has never been confirmed for sure that he is the late king’s son, but everyone knows his mother was unfaithful to his father. He will be so hurt if his wife has done the same thing.”

Only the compassion in the young woman’s voice kept Yeong’s temper in check.

“And with Seo Yul of all people!” The first exclaimed, far less sensitively. “One of his best friends!”

Yeong choked.

With this disturbing information now rattling around in her brain, Yeong quickly left the area, shuddering. She knew this was a rumour Uk would not believe. They had been through too much to not trust each other. But the fact that Seo Yul was about to be dragged through the mud with them was distressing. He was currently seeing a girl from North Fortress, and she hoped desperately that this was not going to impact his relationship.

But she had other things to worry about right now. In only three days, she and Uk would be attending their next family dinner, and they needed their contingency plan in place to ensure they came out the other side as unscathed as possible.

A quick trip to Danhyanggok later, she was ready to head home.

When she arrived, she pulled Uk into his study, and with a flourish, she slapped today’s findings onto the desk in front of him. “This is what we need.”

“Chaste herbs,” he observed with a look of betrayal. His expression morphed into horror. “Do you not like me anymore? Are you turning the lantern back on?”

“Do not be silly,” Yeong laughed fondly. She was in a good mood, as she often was when she schemed. It was a trait she and Uk had in common. “It is for the dinner.”

“I think Dang-gu will have a thing or two to say if you try to lower his - ”

She interrupted. “We are not putting it in the food. It is not even for us to take.”

“I thought you said we need this.”

“We do, because a lesser known fact about chaste herbs is that in very concentrated doses, it can cause a mildly sedative effect. If we slip some of this into my mother’s tea, it may make her too sleepy to do much.” It sounded like a weak plan when she said it out loud, but it was the best Yeong could do on such short notice, and it would likely be enough. “It is also for just in case my mother tries the aphrodisiac trick again.”

“Yeong,” Uk said slowly, “You are already pregnant. Why would she bother?”

“I am bringing some for my sister and Park Dang-gu. They will be in the room next to ours, and some things you cannot unhear.”

“Say no more,” Uk said, holding up a hand. “You have convinced me.”

Chapter Text

Jang Uk had learned that there could be an apathy to heroism. The more people looked to him for his power - the power of the dangerous stone that lay in his chest, the one thing that kept breath in his lungs - the more he found himself looking on the world with disinterest, melancholy, and even resentment. Their requirements made him feel burdened. Their accolades did the same. Apathy weighed on him to keep his emotions from boiling over. Apathy kept him away from the dark side of his instincts; the side that could hurt others. Apathy was a coping mechanism. Healthy or not, it was working.

Maybe apathetic was not the right word for what he was. Perhaps it was jaded.

Either way, there was a vitality that had been missing for years; but it was vitality that he was slowly regaining. He now wielded the sword of his beloved to protect instead of destroy, and no longer was he the royal family’s scapegoat. He would never again be the man he had been before the day Naksu’s sword had thrust into his chest, his lifeblood shed without warning by the woman he adored. The three years following his death had been lonely, dark and cold, making a mark on his soul that could never be reversed. But now, there was light in his darkness.

The biggest one was Yeong.

Uk admired his wife from where he sat across from her at the table, another collection of well-intended if unwanted congratulatory gifts set between them. Yeong was invested in her note-writing task, producing works of brushwork art with a flick of a wrist. Her tongue was slightly extended, just touching the exterior of her lips.

“Will you stop staring at me and keep writing?” She suddenly asked dryly, a single eyebrow raising over one eye even as she continued her work.

Uk grinned cheekily as he held his chin in one hand, elbow braced against the surface before him, completely unrepentant. “Are you just saying that because you are embarrassed?”

“No,” Yeong bit out as her cheeks coloured guiltily. Her writing increased in intensity.

“I think you are.”

“I think that if we do not get these notes finished within the next hour, we will miss the dinner.”

“I think you look very cute today.”

Yeong’s pink cheeks deepened to a very pleasing scarlet. “Stop teasing me!”

“Teasing you?” Uk said as he watched his wife squirm in her seat. “I am not teasing you. I am just telling you the truth."

Uk remembered when they first knew one another, back when they were nothing more but master and pupil; the Shadow Assassin and the Young Master who’s gate of energy had barely opened. He remembered how they had hidden their blossoming feelings for each other by tossing petty barbs back and forth. How he had admired the flush of the rogue on her cheeks that day at Songrim’s market when she was experimenting with makeup, while he told her she looked like a drunk dog. Teasing was their way, and they had danced around each other with furtive glances and empty insults.

During the time they had been together three years after his death - while her memories were gone - she had been less abrasive and guarded. Compliments had not fazed her. In fact, she had actively sought them. Although some of her self-conscious behaviour had returned with her memories, he knew from knowing her then how she really felt about compliments. Yeong was pleased when he was honest with her; when he let her know how beautiful she really was. Even though she usually pretended otherwise, he knew she loved it. It was now one of his goals in life to let her know, even though she was too embarrassed to accept his compliments with grace.

And that flush in her cheeks really was adorable.

But there was vengeance in her eyes as she leaned forward and said flirtatiously, “I think you are the prettiest one of all.”

“What?”

“Do you remember? That day we were at Songrim’s market and you were trying on all the hairpins. I did not admit it then, but they did suit you. Those indigo flowers really brought out your eyes.” She brushed a hand gently down his face, her fingertips leaving his skin tingling where she touched him, before bopping him hard on the nose.

“Ow!” Uk whined, rubbing at his now sore face.

Yeong laughed loudly. “That was payback.”

Uk pouted as she graced him with a smug smile.

Later that evening, the couple arrived at Jinyowon’s gate, its numerous lanterns already lit even though the sun had not yet set. The muffled chirping of birds filled their ears. A gentle breeze blew around them, bringing the scent of spring flowers.

In the days since he had become Jin Ho-gyeong’s official son-in-law, Uk had learned to tread with caution around the mysterious realm of Jinyowon. He had never taken the place lightly, especially considering the bad blood that had stood between him and the Jin family following Jin U-tak’s murder, but there was a large difference between being cautious due to mutual discord and being cautious due to being family. The first could be solved by avoidance. The second could not.

Before they had left home, Uk and Yeong had split their supply of chaste herbs so they both had some on hand, and Uk double-checked that he had brought his with him for the fiftieth time today. Thankfully, they had failed to disappear from where they were secured to his belt under his outer clothing.

Yeong touched his shoulder in a show of support. “My mother can be hard to handle sometimes, but she cares about us. Everything will be fine.”

“I know,” Uk responded bravely, though he gave her hand a grateful squeeze.

They met Park Dang-gu and Jin Cho-yeon at the gate’s threshold, the other couple also appearing a little nervous. But Dang-gu still punched Uk energetically in the shoulder in congratulations, smiling brightly. “Finally, the twins will have a cousin. You took your time getting around to having that daughter.”

“It could just as easily be a boy,” Uk pointed out.

Dang-gu folded his arms almost challengingly. “Why would you do that and risk us having a girl before you? You told me I was not allowed to before the twins were born, remember?”

Uk glowered at him. “That was a joke!”

“No, it was not,” Dang-gu said nonchalantly, in total confidence.

Uk scoffed away the knowledge that his friend was entirely correct and looked to his wife. “I need a moment with him. We will join you in a minute.”

Yeong nodded knowingly. She then linked arms with her sister, and the two disappeared into Jinyowon, already chatting away.

Once they were gone, Uk quickly scanned his surroundings, and once he saw there was nobody watching, he pressed some of the chaste herbs he had brought into Dang-gu’s hand, closing the leader of Songrim’s fingers over them.

Dang-gu blinked in confusion. “Why - ”

“Trust me,” Uk mumbled, patting him a couple of times on the back.

He then strolled into Jinyowon with as much presence of mind as one could have when planning to drug one’s mother-in-law. Dang-gu trailed behind, examining the herbs incredulously.

The two men found their wives and Jin Ho-gyeong at Jinyowon’s foremost pavilion, admiring several new arrivals to Jinyowon’s collection of birds. Lady Jin beckoned the two over.

Lady Jin was an intelligent woman with a spine of steel. In her hands, every family dinner was a throughly planned event where strategy was just as essential as the cuisine. She had very high standards for both. In another life, Uk thought he might have found a kindred spirit in her. But in this one, he was too intimidated.

It had not used to be this way. There was a time when Uk was not wary of Jin Ho-gyeong at all, and he had been bold enough with her that he had caused offence and gained her dislike, especially where Jin Bu-yeon - now Yeong - was concerned. But he had later agreed to get along with her for Yeong’s sake, which meant that he had to be courteous. And often, being courteous meant keeping his mouth shut and smiling when he had no wish to do so.

The ever-respectful Dang-gu would always be Lady Jin’s favourite son-in-law, but Uk would die trying to match him. So he nodded politely at her and said, “Lady Jin. Thank you for your invitation.”

A knowing look came into Lady Jin’s eyes, as if she knew that Uk would have gotten out of this if he could, but it did nothing to mar the smile on her face. Whatever plans she might have up her sleeves, she was genuinely happy to see them. It was taking some getting used to, seeing such a warm expression on the face of the leader of Jinyowon. “I am pleased you could make it. Come, we do not have much daylight left.”

At her bidding, all four guests took their seats, with Lady Jin sitting at the head of the table. Yeong was on the leader of Jinyowon’s left, with Cho-yeon next to her, and Uk sat across from Yeong with Dang-gu on his right.

Uk noted that there was no brood hen on the table, and that he and Yeong had been seated closest to Lady Jin. That likely indicated that they were the main focus tonight, which was unsurprising. Perhaps Dang-gu and Cho-yeon would not need the chaste herbs after all.

“I am glad to see you all sitting before me today. It has been a while since we last spent this time together,” Lady Jin began. “We can consider this a celebration of the upcoming new member of our family.”

Yeong accepted the older woman’s nod of acknowledgement graciously.

“How far along are you?” Cho-yeon asked her. “Have things been progressing well?”

“It has been just over two months, so it is still early. I feel tired and nauseous, sometimes, but I am doing well otherwise.” Yeong smiled warmly at Uk, who smiled back. “I have been taken good care of.”

She said this for Uk’s benefit, he knew, as his “care" was seen by her as “coddling” most of the time. But she wanted to ensure that others saw him as a good expectant father, and he appreciated it. That would help ease the rumours that were already flooding the capital about them, as well, some of which were of a less-than-kind variety. Uk had spent his childhood without Jang Gang - his supposed father - in his life, and some people were choosing to assume he would do a poor job as a father himself due to this.

But Uk had no intention of travelling down the same path of abandonment and shame as his mother’s soul-grieved husband. He would take care of his family.

“I am glad you are both settling into this well,” Lady Jin said approvingly. “You have a long road ahead of you, but it is incredibly rewarding. And holding your child at the end of it is worth every minute of the trouble.”

“You will not be able to get enough of them,” Cho-yeon added. “They are just too precious for words.”

“Even if they get so loud you can barely think, sometimes,” Dang-gu contributed.

“That will not faze me,” Uk responded wryly. “I grew up with you.”

“Hey!”

Lady Jin gave Uk and Dang-gu a stern look - a silent command for them to behave - before turning to Yeong. “Do you intend to find out your child’s gender beforehand, or will you wait until the birth?”

“I did not know it was possible to find out beforehand,” Yeong said in surprise. She exchanged glances with Uk, and a tiny frown twisted her lips.

“It is very possible, though not until the later months. Master Heo could check, or any skilled physician. I did the same for both of my daughters.”

“Is there any chance you could find out yourself, since you can see energy?” Cho-yeon asked Yeong. “Can you see the baby’s energy?”

Yeong shrugged. “I can see a little. But energy is not gender-specific, so I do not think it will tell me whether we are having a boy or a girl.”

“I know you are hoping for a granddaughter at last, Lady Jin,” Uk said.

“Yes, and I will hope until I get one. The Jin bloodline needs daughters. Our divine powers can only be passed down through blood. Though the next heir should come from Cho-yeon, as she is now my successor.” Lady Jin gave Cho-yeon a pointed enough stare that the young woman shifted uncomfortably in her seat, and Dang-gu cleared his throat awkwardly.

“We do not need to rush things,” Cho-yeon said weakly, clasping her hands in her lap. “It will happen eventually.”

Uk knew based on past conversations with Dang-gu that he and Cho-yeon did not want to overload themselves with children too quickly, but they did intend to have more, and likely soon. But it would never be fast enough for Lady Jin.

This was the part of family dinners which they all dreaded - when Lady Jin inevitably put them on the spot. She had been waiting several years now, so some of her impatience was understandable, but it seemed that a few remnants of previous obsessive behaviour had remained and transformed into a quest for a granddaughter that occasionally led to her going a little too far.

Uk shivered, reminiscing on out-of-place, unwanted aphrodisiacs. Now would be a fantastic time for him or Yeong to spike Lady Jin’s tea with the chaste herbs. Not too much; just enough to keep her reasonable.

He looked to Yeong, hoping to catch her eye, and she mouthed, “I did it.”

Uk relaxed, applauding his wife’s efficiency, but that did not last long, as Lady Jin then went on to say levelly to her youngest daughter, “If you two are having trouble, you may wish to rethink things. An overly-indulged libido can be just as detrimental as an under-indulged one in these things.”

Cho-yeon’s jaw dropped. “Mother! How could you say such a thing?!”

Lady Jin raised an unconcerned eyebrow. “None of us are children, Cho-yeon. There is no need to act like we have delicate ears. You have proved very fertile while undertaking forbidden excursions in empty houses, so perhaps it is time to revisit that approach. I still have high hopes for you.”

Uk huffed out a disbelieving laugh at the woman’s unexpected candor.

Dang-gu was already bright red and stuttering, but still attempted to come to his wife’s defence. “T-That only happened once - ”

“And it led to two grandsons. Quite impressive.” Lady Jin turned back to Cho-yeon. “Now, with you, your father and I found ourselves a secluded - ”

“Mother!” Cho-yeon objected, her face red with mortification. “That is enough!”

“No,” Uk counteracted with a grin, leaning forward in anticipation. “This is very interesting. Please, continue.”

“Uk!” Yeong hissed, although she was clearly holding back laughter herself, her lips struggling to remain a stern line even as she reprimanded him.

“Then again, since it has taken so long for you to conceive your firstborn, Jang Uk, perhaps you could use some advice as well,” Lady Jin said contemplatively. She gave him a calculating once-over.

Uk spluttered.

“…Perhaps that is not necessary,” Lady Jin concluded mildly after some thought, taking an unruffled sip of her seemingly ineffectively-spiked tea.

The entire table let out a breath of collective relief.

“It might be better to advise Yeong.”

The four guests groaned.

Despite her cool and matter-of-fact demeanour as she embarrassed them, Uk was certain that Lady Jin was teasing them. He had not realized the woman possessed a sense of humour. There was an upward turn to her lips. Their eyes met, and he gave her a nod of startled acknowledgement. Her mouth curved further into a true smile.

The family dinner ended on a high note, as Lady Jin decided to show her guests mercy and rerouted the discussion to more acceptable topics. The chaste herbs had done nothing, but Lady Jin gushed over the baby, offered some genuine, respectful advice, and was overall a gracious hostess. Nothing unwelcome had taken place save for a little embarrassment.

Uk felt he could list Lady Jin at the top of the list of most eager future babysitters for he and Yeong’s son or daughter, right alongside Maidservant Kim.

But there was one thing that was bothering him, and once the dinner was over and the two couples had dispersed to the guest rooms they were staying in for the night, he left Yeong briefly in order to seek Lady Jin out.

He found her in the pavilion they had gathered in for dinner, staring out into the moonless night. He joined her, standing at her side and watching the activity of a nearby pond teeming with fish, though the light of the many lanterns was too dim to do it justice.

“Why did you invite us here tonight?” Uk asked after a few moments.

Lady Jin frowned. “Was it not clear on the invitation?”

“You always hold these dinners for a greater reason than simply spending time with us. You have an ultimate goal. A purpose.”

“Are you saying you believe I view family dinners as an opportunity to achieve personal ends?”

“Yes,” Uk replied honestly.

Lady Jin seemed to respect his truthfulness, and she returned the favour, but her answer was not what he expected. “They are a chance to make a point, perhaps. But despite what you may think, my ultimate goal is to spend time with my family.” A shadow came over her, tinging her contentment with sorrow. “My failure to do so in years past is something I have come to deeply regret.”

Uk did not comment on this, but he thought of those three long years during which Jinyowon had closed its doors. No outsiders had been allowed entrance, and even members of the Jin family had not stepped foot outside of its walls. Jinyowon’s isolation had not only been an attempt to keep the return of Jin Bu-yeon a secret, but was also a side-effect of the loss and mourning of the Jin family, their pain caused by the same man that had plagued them all - Jin Mu. One of their own, if only in name.

Through losing her husband, Lady Jin had learned what it was like to live your life knowing that you were never going to get the chance to heal the discord that lay between you and someone you loved. Never to come to terms with the past; never to build a better relationship going forward. Now that she was healing from her eldest daughter’s loss and adjusting to the woman who had taken her place, she would not make that mistake again. She would be there for those who needed her.

Lady Jin smiled slightly. “Have a good night, Jang Uk. Take good care of your wife. And come more often to see me. It is lonely in Jinyowon, nowadays.”

She turned and disappeared into the night air. Uk watched her go until she was lost in the shadows.

Chapter Text

A month passed, and with the progressing days the curiosity of the citizens of Daeho Fortress grew as rumours continued to swirl around the capital, bubbling under the surface like a ticking bomb primed to explode. Scandals that usually obtained the fascination of the public - illicit relationships, rushed marriages and suspicious deaths - fell flat against the blinding power of the unborn child of the King’s Star and Daeho’s strongest priestess.

During this time of terrifying popularity, Uk had learned of the rumours concerning his wife and his friend Seo Yul. Although he knew better than to believe them, to his irritation, the rumour was gaining momentum. He had enlisted Madam Ju-wol of Chwiseonru’s aid in attempting to calm them by having her spread contradictory rumours and attempt to distract people with even seedier stories from elsewhere, but so far, it had not worked.

The people were too baby obsessed.

Having a child was stretching Uk to the limit of his patience already, and not just because of other people’s obsessive behaviour. It had fully dawned on him that he knew very little about children, let alone how to properly raise one. He had to face the truth; he was extremely unprepared.

He was combating this as best he could by discreetly borrowing reading material from Songrim’s library on the topic so he knew exactly what to expect. Finding some of the titles had required tracking Park Dang-gu down, as his friend seemed to have had the same idea years ago but had failed to return the books. He had then had to get permission to take the books home through Seo Yul, who lead Jeongjingak. Dang-gu had teased him mercilessly, and Yul had insisted on lecturing him with humiliatingly graphic biological information for the sake of his “education.”

I will not forget this when it is finally your turn, Yul.

He and Yeong were coping with the stress of the unknown by pushing it to the back of their minds and focusing on preparing for the future. So when the morning of Yeong’s next checkup at Sejukwon arrived, the couple headed there in good spirits, fending off the curious stares of other people as they walked side by side, leaning into each other with every step.

Uk frowned severely as they traversed the streets of Songrim. Everywhere he looked, people shuffled out of their path while goggling openly. Somehow, he was beginning to miss the years when a stranger’s typical response to his presence was to duck their head and scurry off as fast as possible. He let out a long-suffering sigh. “It has been a month, and we are still being stared at.”

“There is no harm in them looking,” Yeong said generously. Her coping mechanism for her own popularity was to brush anything that happened off as if it were completely normal. Uk had personally abandoned that ideology the day they received a book of poetry dedicated to them which had included works of literary art such as “Kissing the Priestess,” and “Ode to the Ice Stone.” (Though privately, he had to admit that “Blue Flower” was quite good.)

Wrapping one arm around Yeong’s shoulders, Uk pulled her close, slowing his pace so they walked in sync. “It is not the looking I am worried about. It is the touching.” He looked pointedly to her stomach.

“Nobody is going to touch me,” Yeong griped, though she allowed his arm to hug her, her own coming up to brush his back in return. “I am not even showing yet.”

Uk levelled a glare at a gawking young man that made the unwelcome observer yelp and scuttle away. “Someone will try. And when they do, I am drawing my sword.”

Yeong scoffed. “Why? Are you going to cut them down in cold blood in the middle of Songrim for daring to touch me?”

“I am just going to make a point,” Uk corrected her, over-protectiveness making him rigid. “No woman should be touched without her permission.”

“How about if that happens, you hand me the sword and I take care of it?”

“You refused to train again, so you cannot use your energy.”

“Steel hurts plenty on its own,” Yeong responded, her eyes narrowing viciously as she confronted imaginary rogues with no sense of personal space. Uk shivered at the cold aura emanating off her, a last remnant of the Shadow Assassin.

Despite her appearance of indifference, Yeong began to frown along with him as they weaved through Songrim’s marketplace, the many vendors and shoppers a blur of vibrant activity in the midst of the warm afternoon. The market could be overwhelming at its busiest, and the attention the couple was receiving as they walked made the environment stifling.

It quickly got much worse.

At one stall, Uk paused and stretched his neck to peer over the shoulders of some tall men who stood in front of it, perusing the goods. Something flashed before his vision, almost blinding in the sun; light reflecting off metal.

It was a shiny collection of metalware that had caught his eye, which would be nothing worth noting, if it were not for the fact the engraved pattern that graced the center of some of the plates looked remarkably like a depiction of his wife’s face. An ugly depiction of his wife’s face.

Next to them sat a small painted sign that read, “Priestess metalwares, only sold here!”

You cannot be serious.

Uk turned in a slow circle, surveying his surroundings with new eyes. There were hairpins to his left that resembled the piece Yeong had worn to Park Jin and Maidservant Kim’s wedding almost three years ago. Those chopsticks looked like Naksu’s sword. Several small-time tailors were selling outfits identical to articles in his own wardrobe - including what he was wearing right this second.

He wondered if this jarring feeling was similar to what it would feel like to walk straight into hell.

Yeong too had noticed, her jaw hanging open as she watched a little girl toddle by with a doll crafted in the shape of her husband, sword and all.

Worst of all, they only just now noticed the crowd that had begun to gather around them, drawn in like moths to light, their eyes gleaming with avarice. As one, they exploded into various expressions of excitement.

“Can you sit for a portrait?” An older man that stood before Uk requested urgently. “Or a hundred?”

“Will you sign my limited-edition Priestess shawl?” A young woman squealed at Yeong.

“Come a little closer, no need to be shy!” A hobbling old woman crooned as she reached towards Yeong’s stomach.

As one, the lovers clasped hands and ran for cover. A stream of crazed shoppers trailed after them, tripping over themselves as their shouted requests merged into one indiscernible roar of noise.

The citizens of Daeho were beginning to snap under the irresistible allure of merchandise featuring their favourite couple.

“This is going too far,” Yeong wheezed as she sat braced against the building she and Uk had taken cover behind, having successfully lost their pursuers. Uk rubbed her back as she dry-retched, her stomach emptied long ago but her nausea still reeling. “They have all gone mad!”

“It is not so unexpected. Do you remember Naksu in Blue?”

Yeong glowered at him almost desperately. “There were plates! With my face on them! This is not a normal level of interest! My sister did not have nearly this much trouble when she was pregnant!”

“The rumours were very risqué,” Uk recalled. “But the only merchandise she and Dang-gu got was a teapot.”

Yeong groaned miserably.

Uk had to get her to Sejukwon; Master Heo would be able to help with the nausea. There was still a long way to go before they reached the infirmary, and he had seen a group of teenage girls on the prowl when they ducked into their hiding spot, all owners of the Priestess hairpin. He turned from his wife briefly to check if it was safe to continue, craning his neck around the side of the wall.

He immediately came face to face with Seo Yul, who appeared as calm as ever despite the fact there was a gaggle of old ladies giving him side-eyed stares only ten feet away. When they saw each other, Yul’s brows creased in concern. “Jang Uk. I saw you being chased earlier. Are you alright?”

Uk opened his mouth to tell Yul that nothing was wrong and that he could handle the situation, but then came to terms with the fact that he was kneeling in the dirt in a corner with his sick wife, and that this made it clear that he could not. He may have threatened to draw his sword earlier to deal with the unwelcome attention, but he had not meant it. He did not want to be feared by those around him again. Drawing steel on the innocent – even just in warning – went too far.

So wearily, he chose honesty. “That depends. Can you get us out of here?”

“You are safe,” Yul assured him. “I am not alone.” He gestured to his left, and another familiar figure came into view. “Nobody will dare to approach you, now.”

Go Won, the king of Daeho, looked amused to see Uk crouching in the dirt, which at this point was beyond annoying. “It would seem you have found yourself in quite the situation, Jang Uk,” he said, crossing his arms with a smirk.

“Yes,” Uk confirmed bitingly. “I have unfortunately run into you.”

Stress made the King’s Star’s words harsher than usual, but Won took it in stride. He knew the way Uk worked, and unlike in days of old when lack of understanding and Jin Mu had stood between them, he also knew that Uk now valued him. Throwing words back and forth was merely their way. “I, too, am horrified by this turn of events.”

“Fate can be cruel.”

“I am sorry to interrupt, boys,” Yeong broke in dryly, “But I should remind you that I am here, too. Or should Yul and I leave you two alone?” Her face was still a little green, but some of the colour had returned to her cheeks.

“My apologies,” Won said placatingly. “This is an unbelievable situation. We just passed a vendor who is selling Cho Yeong shaped honey biscuits.” He clucked his tongue. “Ridiculous.”

“People enjoy having something to look forward to. It keeps their spirits high in hard times. I know it annoys you, but they mean no harm,” Yul said.

“We know that, but do we not have a right to some privacy?” Uk replied heatedly. Yeong nodded at his side.

“I could tell them to stop,” Won offered boldly. “I am the king.”

Before the couple could consider this offer, Eunuch Oh arrived, seeking his master. He bowed deeply. “Your Majesty. Should I have the King’s Star crockery delivered to the palace at once, or wait until the end of your visit?”

“N-Now is fine, Eunuch Oh,” Won stuttered. His servant bowed once more and left to complete his task.

“Your intervention on our behalf will not be necessary, Your Majesty,” Uk said darkly. Then he hissed under his breath, “Traitor.”

“They are beautiful pieces!” Won objected, now red in the face. “That is all there is to it!”

Meanwhile, Yeong was holding back laughter.

Go Won quickly made his excuses, mumbling something about an appointment he must keep, leaving Yul to escort his friends safely to Sejukwon. Yul’s authority in Songrim kept the rabid citizens at arm’s length as well as the king’s would have.

Before they parted ways, Yul made a request. “I need a moment of your time before you leave Songrim today, if possible. There is something I must discuss with you both.”

Uk cursed inwardly, guessing what this must be about. He had almost forgotten that Yul was caught up in this mess, too. The rumours about him and Yeong were gaining ground, and it was bound to cause him trouble. He and Yeong had seldom seen Yul this last month because of how focussed they were on their own problems, but based on the way those gossiping women had been looking at Jeonjingak’s leader earlier, a conversation about their mutual issue was long overdue. “Of course.”

“You know where to find me when you are ready.”

The last time Uk and Yeong had been in this room at Sejukwon, they were full of giddy excitement, completely unaware of what their expectant arrival was about to bring into their lives: pure exhaustion, paired with a dash of uncertainty and longing for quieter times.

Uk tried to ignore his rising levels of stress, made worse by the events of the day, as he stood at his wife’s side, hovering as Master Heo conducted his examination. Despite all his new-found knowledge about child-rearing thanks to his extensive research, Uk felt inadequate standing here, unsure of half of the things Master Heo was saying.

The physician hummed and muttered to himself as he circled Yeong’s midsection like a tiger circling its prey. “Goodness!” He exclaimed, suddenly. “How extraordinary!”

Although Master Heo’s shock did not sound like it was of the bad variety, Uk still began to panic. “What is it? Is something wrong?”

“There are three of them!”

“What?!”

Master Heo barked with mirth at the look on Uk’s face, clapping the young man on the back. “I am joking! There is only one. And the baby is still healthy, so you have nothing to worry about!” He gave Yeong’s arm a reassuring pat while he chortled. Yeong smiled back at him, completely unaffected by this so-called joke, while her husband’s soul, which had figuratively left his body, found its way back to its vessel.

Uk held his twitching fingers back from stretching around the elderly man’s throat. “Was that really necessary?!”

“No, but it was funny!” Master Heo replied without hesitation – or remorse. He squinted at the facial twitch Uk had developed and frowned. “Bah! You are tense. Are you perhaps having problems managing stress?”

“A little,” Yeong interjected on Uk’s behalf while the latter seethed. “People are so invested in the baby that it has become an issue. Have you walked around Songrim recently?”

Master Heo mumbled a curse. “Yes, I know what you are referring to. Such childish behaviour! You two are not toys to be played with. If it becomes difficult for you both to handle, come straight to me! I can teach you all about stress management.”

Uk stared. “You?” The man whose temper was legendary throughout Songrim? The man who had once chased him around a tree when he was six with a ladle?

“Yes!” Master Heo snapped, accurately reading Uk’s facial expression. “The cheek of the boy!” He turned away to address Yeong, much more gently. “That is all for today, Young Lady Yeong. I shall see you next month. Do not forget your ginger when you leave!”

Master Heo left the room to meet with another patient, leaving Uk and Yeong alone. Uk packed up the ginger Master Heo had prescribed for Yeong’s nausea while his wife rushed after the physician to ask him a question she had forgotten to ask during the examination.

Only seconds after leaving, Yeong darted back into the room, grimacing. “Uk, Heo Yun-ok has just arrived, and she is heading this way.” She gripped his sleeve and pulled him towards the other end of the room. “We need to hide.”

Uk protested, wriggling away from her grip. “Hide? Why? I know you two are not friendly with each other, but you have never minded dealing with her before.”

“Just follow me! Quickly!”

She dragged him into a nearby supply closet, the dark interior pungent with the scent of herbs and salves. It was cramped as they crouched underneath a row of shelves, almost intertwined with each other due to lack of space.

“This is cozy,” Uk said brazenly.

To his disappointment, Yeong was too caught up in Heo Yun-ok and ignored him, pressing one eye against a crack in the door so she could see out into the room. “…There she is,” she whispered. “She is looking through some drawers.”

“Yeong, why are we here?” Uk hissed. “You never avoid Heo Yun-ok.”

“None of this would have happened today if it were not for her tattling. We could have told people about the baby when we were ready. If I talk to her, I am going to punch her, and I do not want to be kicked out of Songrim.”

Yeong’s profile was flushed with strain, and her back was rigid against his chest. She was the picture of long-suffering weariness instead of blossoming motherhood.

What she really needed right now was a distraction. And he knew very well that nothing could distract her like he could.

He wrapped his arms around her from behind like he had first done at Danhyanggok, like he had done many times since, holding her close and bringing his lips to her cheek.

“What are you doing?” Yeong objected, attention forced away from her enemy.

The thought of losing himself in her while tangled up in a dark closet was growing more appealing by the moment. He could already feel heat flaring in her cheeks as his lips lingered over them before trailing down her throat, his attentions heightening the beat of her heart, clouding all coherent thought, leaving her at his mercy. She might hold back for a second, but it would only be for a second. Her passion often outdid his own in the end once it was set free.

“Distracting you,” he answered playfully. “Is it working? Or could you do better?”

Yeong huffed and forced his head away from her neck with one hand before capturing his lips with her own, outdoing every one of his own seductions as she explored them as if they were both going to die tomorrow – as if her soul was going to be expelled from her body once more, as if they only had this moment left.

An explosion of daylight blinded the two lovers as the closet door opened. The fire forming between them was swiftly extinguished. But it was not Heo Yun-ok who had caught them, but Master Heo, who blinked owlishly at their flushed and guilty faces.

“Jang Uk!” The physician exclaimed.

“Yes?” Uk prepared to be thoroughly scolded for what had almost occurred, even while he looked at the older man unrepentantly, frustration twisting his insides.

Master Heo stretched out a hand insistently. “Pass me that container of herbs. Above your head to the left.”

Uk followed these instructions awkwardly, confused by Master Heo’s lukewarm reaction to finding a husband and wife together in his supply closet.

Master Heo searched through the herbs briskly and gave a nod of approval. “Thank you. And although I applaud your method of decreasing stress, I would reconsider your choice of location.”

“You are...not upset?” Yeong asked cautiously.

“What?” Master Heo said disbelievingly. “Do you think you are the first couple I have found in here? I think you should remember some of the people you are both friends with!”

Uk and Yeong exchanged startled glances.

Master Heo clucked his tongue and waved his hand nonchalantly. “I gave up trying to put a stop to it years ago.” He turned and headed for the exit, tossing over his shoulder, “Make sure you close all the doors behind you on your way out!”

Once he was gone, Uk sighed and stepped out of the closet, surveying the room. Nobody else was here. He turned to his wife. “The coast is clear. Now what? Should we go and speak to Yul?”

Yeong smirked, raised an eyebrow and beckoned him back into the closet.

Chapter Text

I really didn't want to write this, because I know it's disappointing to be expecting an update only to get one of these instead, and I'm sorry about that. But it's been so long now that I think I need to let everyone know why I'm not updating, especially now that I've noticed a couple of comments asking about it.

The main thing I need to be transparent about is that I go through long periods of time where I just can't write. Is it a lack of confidence thing? A mental health thing? Probably both, and that's the biggest reason why I haven't been updating anything. I'm also struggling with writers block and loss of motivation on top of that, so as of right now, I can't promise I'll finish this story. I can't even promise I'll update. Don't get me wrong, I was enjoying writing it, but I came to a place where I was just too down and pushing myself way too hard to enjoy it anymore. I also felt that my loss of enthusiasm was affecting my creativity and left me dissatisfied with my work. No matter how hard I pushed myself, it would take me a month or more to write one chapter only to find it lacking in some big way. And that made my mental health take a real nosedive.

I apologize for this and ask for everyone's understanding. I can say that if I do ever come to a point where I can get back on this train, I will. I haven't forgotten. But I want to be real with everyone no matter what ends up happening. If I do manage to update again, updates will likely be sporadic and take some time.

I've loved sharing this time with my readers. I've been so excited to share this love of a show that means so much to me with all of you, and the kudos and comments have brought me so much happiness. So thank you for that. Until next time, I wish you all the best!

(PS: If there's anyone who's been wanting to write for this fandom but has been holding back because of lack of confidence, this is my encouragement to you to give it a try! It's so worth it, and there'll always be someone who loves your work and is willing to support it!)