Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

The world was not a cruel place.

The world did not have any malicious intentions or secret agendas. It was not influenced by its own ambitions nor was it tempted by sins of lust or greed.

No the world wasn’t cruel, it just simply was. The people on it were a different story.

Hisoka wasn’t sure what exactly he did wrong. Rather, he was certain he hadn’t done anything wrong. He was a marvelous entertainer. Despite being the youngest in the troup, he was skilled beyond his years. There was no reason he should be getting sacked. He knew that despite the words ‘you’re fired’ never being said, there was no other reason for Giovanni to tell him to pack his belongings before forcing him onto a train going god only knows where. Everything Hisoka owned pathetically fit into one worn bag. That bag sat on the ground at his feet, one ankle looped through the handle to make it harder to steal.

Giovani sat silently at his side, staring out the window, watching as the towns blurred together one right after the other. Hisoka sat to his right trying to ignore the way the souls of his boots stuck to some questionable substance on the floor. He was playing a type of solitaire to keep his mind occupied. Giovani had never been a quiet man, but for some reason, he hadn’t said a word the entire trip. The silence was irritating.

The lack of conversation seemed to magnify every other sound around them. Every sniffle or squeak of cheap nylon seats grated on his nerves, sounding no better than nails on a chalkboard. The sound wave shuttered against his skin. It made him want to gag as the scream he held back clawed its way up his throat.

Still, he supposed he preferred this feeling over having his questions ignored.

More than once he questioned if Giovani was bringing him so far out of the way to kill him. Kids like Hisoka were found dead on the streets all across the world so often that no one would’ve thought twice about coming across his corpse. He wasn’t naive. He knew his death wouldn’t be one worth investigating. As long as his body wasn’t in the way, people would carefully avert their eyes to pretend he wasn’t there. Still, Giovani was grossly sentimental when it came to Hisoka. It seemed unlikely that he would kill him.

Hisoka was barely twelve and Giovani never had any children on his own. Hisoka never viewed the older man as a father figure, but that didn’t stop him from using the sentiment to his advantage, usually to get extra food during meal times.

“Now arriving in Dentora station,” a mechanical voice said over the intercom.

The train came to a stop and Giovani stood. He took a moment to stretch as Hisoka gather up his cards, tucking the deck into his boot. He snatched up his bag as people began shuffling into the aisle. Hisoka followed his silent companion off the train. Tension settled over them, thicker now than it had been before. Adrenaline hummed through his body, keeping him alert as they pair pushed their way through the crowd. Giovani kept glancing behind him to make sure Hisoka was still following. They continued until they were just outside of the train station. Finally, they stopped in front of a black car with tinted windows. A man was standing outside the car.

Hisoka looked him over warily. Outwardly he didn’t look intimidating. He was dressed in a suit and stood stiffly with a black briefcase held firmly at his side. There was nothing of note about him. Even his face seemed to be generic and forgettable. He didn’t have any weapons that Hisoka could see, and yet he felt goosebumps rise on his arms. Something in his mind screamed danger. Hisoka could feel his heart pounding. It was always so exciting to be close to someone so strong.

Hisoka locked eyes with the strange man and he realized that he was being studied in exchange. They held each other’s eyes for a brief moment longer before the man turned to Giovani.

“As we agreed upon.” He held out the briefcase and Giovani lunged for it, snapping it up in his pudgy grip like it would be taken from him. “We will wire transfer the remaining balance if he is as skilled as you say.”

Giovani opened the case, unwilling to take the other at his word.

Hisoka felt the blood in his veins turn to ice. It was full of money. 1,000,000 jeni at least. His stomach churned and for a moment Hisoka thought he was going to throw up.

“You’re selling me?” He was unable to keep the confused fury from leaking into his voice.

“I’m providing you with an opportunity that the world would never,” Giovani finally spoke to him.

There was something in his tone, sadness perhaps, or even pity. Hisoka wasn’t sure. All it did was piss him off. This bastard was selling him off and he had the gal to feel sad about it?

“If you see me again one day you’ll thank you.”

“Hardly.” He snapped. If he ever saw him again he would kill him.

Hisoka’s mind was moving so fast that he could barely process his own thoughts. He had to get away. He could find a new job easily enough. He wasn’t afraid to steal if he had to and he could make do sleeping on the streets. It didn’t matter what he had to do. He would not be owned.
He pulled two cards from his boot and flicked them out. He wasn’t aiming to kill, just cause enough of a distraction that he could get away. It’s should’ve worked. Hisoka was fast.

Giovani squealed at the card lodged itself in the ground less than an inch in front of his foot. But the strange man in the suit was fast. He caught the card with ease and didn’t even look bothered. His face was perfect and impassive.

“Hisoka, if you would please get in the car. We are expected to be punctual.”

Hisoka stared at him, shaking off the shock. He contemplated his request. If he ran, would be followed? It seemed like that was a definite possibility. More importantly, would he be caught? Given the other’s speed, that also seemed likely. Escape was no longer a valid option.
Perhaps it would be best to comply for the now.

Without looking back at his old boss, Hisoka climbed into the backseat.

There were a few muffled words exchanged and then the man sat down in the driver's seat.

“What should I call you?” Hisoka asked, crossing his arms in front of his chest.

“My name is Gotoh.” He replied adjusting the rearview mirror so that he could see Hisoka. “Seatbelt.”

Hisoka huffed and refused to comply until it became clear that the car would not move until he was buckled him. Finally, he made a show of buckling it.

“So are you going to tell me what this is about?” He asked as the car roared to life.

“Have you heard of the Zoldyck family?” He asked.

Hisoka rolled his eyes. “Duh.”

He didn’t know much about them, but when people talked about a family of assassins, he was bound to take notice.

“The Zoldyck’s exclusively employ individuals of great skill and strength. You have the potential to be one of those employees.”

“What, like a servant?”

“More specifically a butler.”

Hisoka’s frown deepened. His nose wrinkled in displeasure. “Sounds boring.”

“Your guardian informed me of your desire to be challenged physically. I also believe he mentioned a desire to fight powerful individuals?”

“He is not my guardian. He’s my boss. Ex boss. Whatever,” Hisoka huffed. “So what if I do?”

“A Zoldyck butler does more than just serve. It is our job to protect the estate and the family. As you can imagen they are under constant threat.”

Hisoka rolled the other’s words around in his mind. The thought was tempting. Surely only powerful people would even attempt to attack the Zoldycks at home.

“If they’re so powerful, why do they need protection?” He challenged.

“They don’t, but they shouldn’t have to waste their valuable time when we can take out the trash for them.”

“And what’s in it for me?” Hisoka asked, raising an eyebrow.

“Other than a healthy wage, you will be provided with food and comfortable accommodations. You will also receive education and training, both to improve physical strength and skill, as well as your nen.”

Hisoka felt his breath stutter. Up until now, he had been training his nen on his own with very little progress. If he had an actual teacher...

“Okay,” he said, finally reaching his decision.

“Okay?” Gotoh questioned a touch of amusement in his voice.

“Yeah, sure, why not. I could be a butler.” He said with a small shrug.

“You would start off as an apprentice. Only when you’re worthy will you be promoted to a butler.”

“And how prey tell, do you decide when I’m worthy?” Hisoka asked.

“I do not. Only the master of the house can decide that.”

The master of the house. If his memory served him right, that would be Silva Zoldyck. He didn’t know much about him, but it was safe to assume that as the head of a family of assassins, he was immensely powerful. Maybe to be worthy he’d have to challenge him. The thought made Hisoka practically vibrate in excitement.

The car finally came to a stop. Hisoka stepped out as calmly as he could manage.
There was no question that these people had money. Not only was their home on the top of a mountain, but the doors were unnecessarily ornate. Gotoh gave a polite nod to the security officer stationed outside of the door and then motioned for Hisoka to open it.

He hesitated, not particularly interested in turning his back to a stranger, but if Gotoh wanted him dead, he would’ve killed him already.

He stepped forward and pushed the door, but it didn’t budge. Hisoka frowned, trying again with the same results. He looked around, perhaps for a handle or a pull sign that he was missing.

“What’s the big idea? Is it locked or something?” He accused.

“It’s not locked. The doors simply weigh two tons.” Gotoh replied.

“Two tons?!” Hisoka exclaimed. “What is this? Some kind of test?”

“That is exactly what it is. A Zoldyck butler needs to be able to open at least one testing door.”

“And what happens if I can’t open it?”

“If you are unable to open the door, then you will be free to go. Back to your old employer, off on your own. We don’t really care, but you will not be allowed to continue forward.”

So if he couldn’t open the door, no job. And just when he was getting used to the idea. He could leave, but he didn’t want to. Nothing out there seemed as good as the deal in front of him. As far as he could see it, there was only one choice.

It was fine. Two tons couldn’t be that heavy.

He took a few breaths, trying to focus his mind on the task in front of him. His muscles felt warm as they began to activate. He tried to focus every bit of energy on pushing the door. Every inch of his body seemed to scream in protest. His face turned red from the straining effort. He could hear his heartbeat in his ears. It was tough, but no thoughts of doubt entered his mind. He would do this.

Slowly, the door finally yielded and began to open. A thick green forest revealed itself as his prize in front of them.

He stepped inside, ignoring the throbbing pain in his upper body. The older man followed him through the door. He didn’t praise him, not that Hisoka expected it. All he did was open a door. That wasn’t spectacular. That was expected.

“How many doors are there?” He asked, looking back at the intricate gate.

“Seven in total, each panel weight twice as much as the panel preceding it,” Gotoh responded.

Seven. And he had barely managed to open one. He would have to do better.

There seemed to be a fairly obvious footpath, but they didn’t follow it. Instead, they started off into the sea of trees. Hisoka stuck closely to Gotoh. It would be easy to get lost in a place like this.

“Where are we going? Is there a mansion or something?” Hisoka asked.

“You will not be allowed into the main house until we have you in uniform and trained on the basic rules. We are going to the butler's quarters. We will be taking your measurement for your uniform. You will start as an apprentice tomorrow.”

“Tomorrow? You guys certainly don’t waste any time.”

It didn’t take them much more time before they arrived at a house that Hisoka assumed was the estate, only to be stunned by the fact that this was in fact the butler’s quarters. This was where he’d like.

Hisoka hadn’t slept inside an actual house since...well he couldn’t exactly remember. Sometime before his life had gone to shit he assumed, but that was beyond his memory. He was thankful to have a tent and bedroom at his old job. It was more than so many other people had. This was on another level. He might even have a bed.

“After your fitting, you will be given a book of rules. Memorize them. Punishment for breaking a rule can range from beatings to execution. Certain behaviors will not be tolerated, and you will not receive any warnings.

Hisoka nodded, he was never good at following rules, but as long as he wasn’t caught, no rules were broken.

He was led into the house, too quick to properly take everything in. They went straight into a room where a woman stood in an identical suit holding a measuring tape. There was a small podium near three large mirrors.

He looked between the two. “I don’t suppose I could have something a little more colorful?” He joked.

No one laughed.

“Geez tough crowd,” he said, walking further into the room and climbing up onto the podium.
The woman gave Gotoh a tired look, and he offered her a polite smile in return. “I leave our new apprentice in your capable hands.”

Hisoka wanted to make a joke about what her capable hands could do to him, but she went to work quickly and unbothered. His current clothes were several sizes too big. His shorts were kept up by a shoestring that he was using as a belt. It couldn’t be easy to get an accurate measurement, but she didn’t seem bothered. She made notes on a small pad and grabbed a suit out of the closet. Unsurprisingly, it was identical to hers.

“Gonna give me some privacy?” He asked, taking the suit as it was offered to him.

“I didn’t expect you to be shy,” she replied.

That made Hisoka chuckle. No one had ever accused him of being shy. He changed quickly, surprised to find the material softer than he anticipated. Once he was dressed, she began pinning certain areas.

“Your actual uniforms will be weighted,” she told him. “It provides constant strength and endurance training. It will be uncomfortable at first.”

Weighted clothes, he wasn’t sure what to make of that, but it wasn’t the most out-of-place thing he experienced today.

“I will send in your measurements. You’ll have some suits in your closet in the meantime, while we have your actual uniforms custom-made to your measurements. I expect to see you back here frequently. You strike me as someone who will grow to be tall.”

He nodded as she took the pins out, she began pushing him slightly, mumbling about the work she had to do. He reached for his old clothes.

“Leave those. You won’t be needing them going forward.”

He frowned, grabbing the cards from his boot before allowing himself to be ushered out of the room so she could get to work.

Gotoh was waiting for him outside with a small pile of fabric in his hands.

“Your suits will be professionally dry cleaned, but you are expected to launder your own towels, sheets, and bedclothes.” He explained as they walked down the hall. He opened the door to a room.

It was small, with barely enough room for the desk in the corner in addition to the bed. There was a small dresser next to the closet. More importantly, there was a window. He walked over and glanced out. In the distance, he could see the estate. It was massive.

“This will be your room. It is expected to stay in order at all times. There will be nothing allowed on the walls. You have a journal and writing utensils. You can request more if you need it.”

He sat the pile on the bed. It included two sets of pajamas as well as underwear, towels, and an extra set of sheets.

Gotoh looked at him like he was considering something.

“It is a bit unorthodox, but I will allow you to keep the cards. You seemed to have already developed a skill for them. You must be well-rounded in your fighting style, but it doesn’t hurt to have a specialty.

Hisoka’s grip tightened around the deck. He hadn’t considered the possibility that he would lose them, and he was thankful he wouldn’t have to give them up.

“There is one last thing before I let you settle in. Your name.”

“My name?” He asked.

“It is currently listed as Hisoka Morow, however, we also have a report stating that your name is-”

“Hisoka, that is my name.” He cut him off. “That is the name I chose.”

“Hisoka it will be.” He agreed. “Take tonight to adjust, tomorrow your training begins.”

Gotoh stepped out of the room, closing the door behind him, leaving Hisoka alone for the first time today.

He looked out the window again, taking in the impressive estate that now employed him.

He would do just fine here.

Chapter Text

Rules were not necessarily meant to be broken, but Hisoka always considered their compliance to be conditional. Danger had never been an adequate reason for him to keep out, but if a fence was electric, chances were he wouldn’t touch it.

Zoldyck butlers had a lot of rules and regulations. Enough that it filled an entire book. Hisoka was not only expected to follow every rule to the letter but he was expected to memorize them.

He found that out rather quickly as his training to be an apprentice started bright and early the following morning. Hisoka hadn’t wanted to get up. His bed was perhaps the most comfortable place he had ever been. He still couldn’t believe that this room was his.

Gotoh opened the door. He did not look upset or even impatient. Hisoka resisted the urge to bury himself further under the covers.

“You’re not aware of the expectations as of yet, so you will not be punished, but we will not be having this conversation again. You are expected to be awake, groomed, dressed, and have your bed made every day by 6:00 am sharp. Breakfast will begin at 6:15 am and end at 7:00 am. Your lessons for the day will vary, but you will be provided with a weekly schedule.” He handed out a crisp piece of cardstock with his weekly schedule.

Hisoka sat up and took the schedule. He ran a hand through his hair as he read over the schedule, wincing as his fingers got caught in a tangle. He had fallen asleep with gel in his hair and that always resulted in the most spectacular bedhead.

His whole day was scheduled down to the minute. There were even specific times scheduled for bathroom breaks. Hisoka had more or less raised himself, he had never had such a rigid structure in his life.

His face must’ve shown his displeasure because Gotoh spoke again.

“If you are promoted, your schedule will change and you will be allowed more freedom. There is someone on duty 24/7. You will be assigned a position in accordance with your skill. Of course, you will be expected to be proficient in every area, but we will play to your strengths.”

“How long does it take to be promoted?” Hisoka asked.

“On average it takes five years of apprenticeship before one is promoted, but most drop out before then.”

Hisoka bristled, it was like he have been offered a challenge.

Hisoka climbed out of bed.

“Is there a standard way I should make my bed?” He asked in a mocking tone. He had a feeling that he already knew the answer.

“Of course,” Gotoh answered unsurprisingly. “You will find all the rules and expectations in your manual. I suggest you look over it as soon as possible. You will be tested.”

The testing started almost immediately. His shirt was not tucked in. He slurped his tea. His chair scraped against the floor too loudly. Each mistake resulted in a ruler slapping across his knuckles. The third time the harsh sting was followed by the sight of split skin followed by a trickle of blood. After that, he finally resigned himself to reading the manual.

Hisoka by no means had an easy life before he began his apprenticeship. He had gone without eating, worked himself past the point of exhaustion, and even once set his own broken wrist. Still, nothing he experienced had prepared him for training to be a Zoldyck butler. He had underestimated how heavy a weighted suit would be. It left his muscles aching every night. His food was poisoned, intentionally. Not enough to kill him, but enough to make him sick for the time being. Of course, being sick was not enough to keep from the grueling daily schedule he was managing.

The monotony caused every day to blur into the next, but Hisoka was too tired to complain about any of it. Hell, he would even accept a day of boredom if it meant he got a day off.

In addition to the constant physical training, Hisoka had daily classroom training. Manners training first and foremost. It was drilled into him until he could tell which fork was a salad fork by weight alone. He also had classes in literature, mathematics, biology, and computers. To round everything out, he was taught the ins and outs of the Zoldyck family. Zeno, Silva, Kikyou, Illumi, and baby Miluki. He knew more details about the family than he knew about himself.

Hisoka didn’t feel the same undying loyalty that the others around him seemed to feel. The more he learned about Silva, the more excited he became. He had never been around someone so powerful before.

Hisoka had only seen him once so far. He was lined up, forced to stand ramrod straight in front of the butler’s quarters with the two other apprentices that were there at the time.

Silva seemed to exude power. It surrounded him like a fog so thick that Hisoka thought if he reached out he would be able to touch it. That thought sent shivers down his spine.

Physically he was impressive, but there was more to him than that. Hisoka wasn’t the only one who could feel it. He knew that because less than a minute into Silva’s visit, one of Hioska’s fellow apprentices promptly fainted. He was carted off and Hisoka hadn’t seen him since then.

Hisoka hadn’t been able to keep the smile from his face. His heart was beating so loud he was sure Silva could hear it. He was so excited he could barely contain himself.

Silva didn’t address him directly, but the interaction stayed stuck in his mind. Like gum on the city sidewalk, it became a permanent fixture. It pushed him forward despite how much pain he was in. Even when the other apprentice quit, leaving Hisoka alone at his level.

Things didn’t get easier, but as the months passed he did get stronger. His schedule stayed the same but his coursework changed. The weapons he worked with got more complex. Even his suits got heavier.

He also got an increase in responsibility. He no longer had a butler accompany him on his daily patrol. It was peaceful, which to Hisoka was the same thing as saying it was boring. Since he had learned the woods, the only real danger he encountered on the daily was Mike, and that beast was no more dangerous to Hisoka than any normal dog.

So most days Hisoka was bored. He cursed the time he wished for boredom instead of pain. The ache in his body had become a comfort to him. He preferred it over the constant hum of his routine. Gotoh insisted he’d get used to the boredom, but Hisoka seriously doubted that. Despite what he was promised, in his months since becoming an apprentice he had yet to fight anyone worthwhile.

He walked through the forest, his footsteps silent where they fell. His breathing was even. No movement he made disturbed the trees surrounding him. He was hardly more than a ghost. As he walked he waited for anything out of the ordinary.

Normally there was nothing of note, but today there was something that piqued his interest.

Someone was following him.

Whoever it was had been following for the last two hours. They had been trying to hide their presence at first, and they had been doing rather well. Then the longer they persuaded, the sloppier they became.

In the beginning, it had been a fun game. First, he tried to lose his shadow. When that failed he slowed down, seeing how close his shadow would get. It was amusing for a time, but now he was bored once more and he was growing tired of being trailed.

“I’m not leading you anywhere important. So either you come down here so I can kill you or I will go up there.” He called into the forest behind him.

Things were silent for a time, then Hisoka watched as a small figure dropped gracefully from the trees.

Before the other even had time to lift his head, Hisoka recognized him. After all, he could identify every Zoldyck member by nothing more than a partial fingerprint.

“Ah Illumi, to what do I owe the pleasure?” Hisoka asked with a teasing smile.

Despite knowing his height, Hisoka felt amused by how small the boy was in person. It was to be expected. After all, Illumi was only nine years old. He was dressed in a deep blue yukata that was undoubtedly picked out by his mother. His hair was longer than in the last picture he had seen, brushing his shoulders, straight and black like spilled ink. It looked soft, but Hisoka knew better than to touch it.

“You’re supposed to call me Master Illumi,” the other responded.

“Oh I am, am I?” He asked. He knew the answer to that. He most certainly was, but to have an opportunity like this present itself? It was in Hisoka’s nature to press buttons whenever possible.

Illumi nodded, looking down his nose at Hioska like he thought himself better than him. He probably did. That struck a nerve with Hisoka.

“I see, allow me to make one thing clear. Your father is my boss, little one, not you,” Hisoka informed him.

“You work for my family,” Illumi corrected him.

“That I do,” Hisoka conceded. “But what does it matter what I call you?”

“It’s a sign of respect,” Illumi informed.

Ah, so that’s what it was. He felt worthy of respect for simply existing as a Zoldyck. He wanted the respect that he had done nothing to earn.

“So, if I don’t call you master, that is the same thing as saying that I don’t respect you?” Hisoka questioned.

Once again, Illumi nodded.

“What is my name?”

“Excused me?” Illumi asked, puzzled.

“What is my name Master Illumi?” Hisoka challenged.

Illumi was silent, but Hisoka expected that. Of course, he didn’t know. It was unlikely he knew the names of most of the butlers let alone an apprentice. Why would be bothered knowing something so trivial as a name?

“You don’t know do you?”

Illumi stared back at him, refusing to respond to the taunt.

“I’m not sure if you know this, but your father, Master Silva, knows the name of every person he employs. Butler, apprentice, cook, doorman, everyone. He’s an incredibly powerful man who doesn’t need to go around demanding respect.” Hisoka stepped closer to him, using his height as an advantage. Illumi was forced to look up at him.

Illumi’s emotionless mask broke and he pouted. In time, Hisoka was sure that his mask would never crack, but for now, he was a child being told he couldn’t have what he wanted. Hisoka doubted many people in Illumi’s life had ever told him no.

“Oh, and you have a leaf in your hair.” Hisoka reached out and pulled the leaf from the black locks.

Illumi flushed slightly, his fair skin turning pink across his nose. He pulled back, looking like he was going to say something, but thought better of it. He hurried off as Hisoka chuckled. As powerful as the Zoldycks were, Illumi was adorable.

Once Illumi was far enough away that Hisoka could no longer feel his presence, Hisoka realized what a mistake he made. He sighed. That really hadn’t been very smart. Sure, it had been fun to mess with Illumi, but if he went to his mother as spoiled children were one to do, Hisoka would be in trouble.

He found himself wishing for a beating. The pain he could handle, but if they let him go because of this incident...

Hisoka didn’t have a backup plan at the moment. Leaving was simply not an option.

Hisoka was on edge the rest of the day. If Gotoh noticed, and it was very likely that he did, he hadn’t said anything. He didn’t know if Gotoh would deal out the punishment himself, or if this was a special circumstance. Perhaps Lady Kikyou would make a trip out to punish him personally.

He waited, but he was never called away for punishment or even scolded. Life continued on as normal.

It was nearly two weeks later, when Hisoka was once again on patrol, this time in the evening, that he felt the now familiar presence of Illumi Zoldyck. It was subtle, but after their meeting, Hisoka had memorized it.

“Isn’t it past your bedtime?” Hisoka asked, turning to face the other boy who had already climbed out from his place among the trees. This time without a leaf in sight.

“Hisoka.”

“Yes?” He asked, raising an eyebrow.

“That’s your name. Hisoka.”

Hisoka frowned in confusion before fully remembering their last conversation.

“Did you go out of your way to learn my name?” He asked, a grin spreading across his face.

“I may not know everyone’s name yet, but I should be familiar with those who are determined to cause trouble,” he explained.

“If you think I’m so determined to cause trouble, why not tell your mother about my disrespect?” He asked.

“I thought about it,” Illumi confessed. “But...”

“But?” Hisoka waited. Illumi looked a little embarrassed as he tried to get his explanation out.

“I didn’t want to get you in trouble. You’re...interesting.”

Hisoka hadn’t expected that answer. He thought maybe Illumi would be worried that Hisoka would tease him again.

“I’m interesting?”

“No one talks to me the way you do. I’m not sure if that is because you are foolish or if it's because you’re the closest in age to me on the estate.” Illumi explained.

“And here I was thinking that you didn’t like the way I spoke to you,” Hisoka said.

Illumi broke eye contact, turning his head from him.

“It vexes me, but I’m not opposed to it.” He confessed.

“I will have to keep that in mind Master Illumi.”

Illumi’s nose wrinkled slightly. “When it is just the two of us, Illumi is fine. But I cannot protect you if you are too casual in front of others.”

“I promise you Illumi, I do not need your protection,” Hisoka told him.

Illumi tensed suddenly. Hisoka heard it too. It was faint at this distance, but Kikyou was yelling for her eldest son.

“Run along home now,” Hisoka instructed. “If you miss me, you know where to find me.”

Illumi nodded. “Good night, Hisoka.”

“Good night, Illumi.”

Chapter Text

Given the life he had lived, Hisoka had no business knowing about nen before he came into the service of the Zoldyck family. Most people lived their life without a clue about the potential power inside of them.

Hisoka never would’ve learned himself if fate hadn’t been on his side.

The person that introduced him to nen came into his life when he was young, maybe nine or ten. She joined their troup quite suddenly one day. At first, Hioska wasn’t sure of her purpose. She didn’t have an act and she didn’t help with any physical labor. She had cooked one meal since she joined and it was shit. He couldn’t see a reason to keep her around. Hisoka tried asking the other members of the troup. The women turned up their noses, almost offended by her existence. The men patted him on the head and told him that he was too young. Try as he might, everyone kept dodging his questions. He knew if he wanted to know he’d have to figure it out on his own. So he followed her, eavesdropping on her conversations. Looking back, she probably knew he was there, but she never discouraged it.

In the end, he got his answer, she was a whore. He didn’t understand the need for secrecy. So she had sex for money, that didn’t seem like that big of a deal to him. Everyone did what they had to to survive in the world. She seemed to make a decent amount of money because she was always dressed in fine clothes.

Hisoka could see why people wanted her. She was stunning if you liked that kind of thing. She had long copper hair that hung in perfect ringlets. His eyes were a bright shade of emerald that she always had lined with coal. Her dresses were always low-cut and short, but they were clearly tailored to fit her body. Her lips were full and people would watch her as she stared into her looking glass to touch up her lipstick. None of that was what made her so alluring. No, what made her impossible to ignore was her confidence. If she had even a scrap of self-doubt, she never showed it. Hisoka had never seen anyone as sure of themself as her. It was mesmerizing. It was as if she was aware of her body in such a way that she was never caught off guard. She knew where everything was from the tips of her toes to the ends of her hair.

It made Hisoka green with envy. He had already hit his first growth spurt and he found himself not used to now too long limbs. He was constantly bumping into things or tripping over his own feet.

Her name was Stella and Hisoka was enamored. She was perhaps his first crush. The others teased him for following her around, but he was not dismayed. He finally had the opportunity to speak with her late one night when everyone else had gone to bed.

“Do you want to know how I’m so good at my job?” She asked him.

He nodded, staring up at her with wide eyes.

She smiled at him and something shifted in the air. He didn’t know what. It didn’t see or smell anything different, but something-

“You can feel it, can’t you? I thought maybe you’d be able to.” She said. “Out of everyone here, you are the only one who has the potential to be extraordinary.”

“What is it?” He asked. It was unlike anything he had ever felt before.

“It’s called nen, simply put, it’s my life energy. Most people live their entire lives oblivious to it. Some are aware of it but never master it. The few that are able to harness it are strong. Stronger than you could possibly imagine.”

That thought made Hisoka’s mouth water.

All he wanted was to be stronger. Strong enough that nothing could ever hurt him.

“And nen makes people want you?” He asked.

“It’s different for everyone. Nen is like one’s soul, unique and perfectly fitting to each individual. For me, it makes those around me more agreeable.”

He nodded, processing her words.

“Will I be able to use nen?” He asked.

“I believe you will when you’re older. It won’t be an easy task. I came from a life very similar to yours, a life that takes more than it gives. It will be hard to learn without a proper teacher.”

“Will you teach me?” He asked.

She smiled at him fondly. “I’m afraid I can’t be that person for you. It’s almost time for me to move on to the next place. I fear I’ve already overstayed my welcome.”

That thought made Hisoka’s chest ache. He had never missed anyone before, but he thought he could miss her. Stella was the only interesting person he had met in a long time.

She had given him a kiss on his head and sent him off to bed.

She was gone by the next morning. No one talked about her. It was like she had never existed. But Hisoka never forgot.

He had done what he could on his own, but with no teacher, or even books on the subject, he hadn’t managed to make any progress.

The Zoldyck butlers had their own nen specialists. Once Hisoka was in the best physical shape of his life he was able to begin training.

He had been an apprentice for nearly a year and a half before he was allowed to train his nen. He expects it to be something flamboyant. A show of the great power he was tapping into.

Instead, it involved a lot of sitting still and thinking about stuff. It was maddening.

Hisoka bit back his cry of pain as he felt the sharp smack on the back of his head.

“Your mind is wondering. You must stay focused if you are to open your nodes.”

“I’m trying, but your water metaphor is useless to me. I’ve never seen a dam. How the hell am I supposed to know how to open one?”

The instructor hemmed thoughtfully. “Perhaps a change of imagery. Do not think of your energy like water, think of it as blood. Your nodes are the major arteries it flows through. You can begin by nicking each one, releasing a small trickle, or you may slice it open. That I do not recommend. You’re not prepared to stop the bleeding just yet.”

“Why would I want to stop it?” Hisoka questioned. The answer should’ve been obvious. He would bleed out, but that didn’t seem like a bad thing. Bleeding could be fun under the right circumstance.

“If you insist on being foolish, I will not train you.”

Hisoka hummed in disappointment but didn’t argue his point further.

It turns out blood was far easier for Hisoka to visualize than water and by the end of the week he had opened his nodes and was ready for the next stage and six months later he was working on his own technique.

Since Hisoka started working with nen, Illumi’s presence had gone from feeling like a whisper to feeling like a full fledge symphony. The vibrations echoed through his body, making his bones rattle in his skin. He wouldn’t say he was in tune with it. It was more of a beautiful dissonance that would make a lesser man uncomfortable.

They didn’t speak much, but he had a tendency to follow him around, watching from a hiding spot. His sweet little shadow.

Lately, his favorite time to watch him was during his nen training. Typically Illumi would watch from afar, but today he made no effort to conceal himself. He sat himself down on the ground at the end of the training ground, crosslegged with the perfect poster. He watched Hisoka as he went through the motions. His face was blank, but his eyes Hisoka found to be so expressive. They shined with curiosity.

He had a training technique that was supposed to stick to but he found himself naturally deviating from it. One could hardly blame him. After all, he was a natural performer and here he was with an audience. He had to show off a little.

“Impressed?” Hisoka asked with a chauvinistic smile.

“Hardly, it’s just nen.” Illumi replied.

“Show me your nen then,” Hisoka challenged, knowing Illumi would have nothing to show. He was too young to begin learning.

“If you’re not impressed why come to see the show? Did you miss me that much?”

“My father is sending me to Heaven’s Arena,” he told him.

“Heaven’s area?” He asked.

“It’s a place you go to fight. If you win, you advance to a higher level. I won’t be allowed to return home until I’ve reached the two hundredth floor.”

Hisoka looked at Illumi. At nearly eleven years old he was already a fierce warrior, but he was still a child.

Hisoka was pretty sure he hadn’t ever been away from home by himself.

“I’m sure your mother is thrilled about the opportunity,” Hisoka replied.

Illumi frowned a little. “She had been crying nonstop since Father announced his decision. It is bothersome.”

“So you came out here for some peace and quiet?”

“If I wanted peace and quiet, I wouldn’t be around you,” Illumi said. “There’s a possibility someone I fight may have the ability to use nen. I’m studying”

“If your opponent can use nen, you are better off forfeiting your match. You won’t win.”

“I may not have nen, but I’ve been trained from birth. I’d still win.” He insisted.

“You sound confident,” Hisoka said with an amused smile.

“I am,” he replied. “I will prove it to you.”

“Oh? And how will you do that, Little One?”

“Spar with me,” Illumi said. He rose to his feet and brushed the dirt from his pant.

It was not a request, but rather a demand. One that Hisoka really should say no to.

He was already breaking countless rules talking to Illumi, but fighting him was a whole other story.

“I’ll be killed if they find out. There are specific people who are allowed to train with you.”

“I won’t tell,” Illumi promised.

“You might not, but your bruises might.”

“They’ll look no different from the bruises I already have.” He walked onto the training grounds, putting himself in position.

“I won’t be able to talk you out of this, will I?” He asked, not that he had sincerely tried. He was already getting himself into position to spare, taking a far more relaxed stance compared to Illumi’s rigid one.

“You are not particularly persuasive, no,” Illumi responded.

Excitement coursed through his body, feeling a bit like an electric shock. The way Illumi looked at him made him smile. He was determined to beat Hisoka.

How long had it been since someone looked at him like that? Most of the people who trained him treated it like a chore. It was just another task to complete. There was no joy in the act because to them Hisoka was no real challenge. Illumi, for all his confidence, seemed to understand that Hisoka would not be so easily taken down. Hisoka knew he was stronger than Illumi now, but someday that may not be the case. Illumi was being crafted into the perfect weapon. Now that was a fight Hisoka was looking forward to. For now, this would do.

“Alright then, let’s go.”

Illumi moved first. He was fast, but no faster than Hisoka anticipated. He dodged his attack with a simple motion. Then he dodged the next three in rapid succession.

His hand shot out, gently cradling the side of Illumi’s face. He pushed, sending Illumi falling toward the other end of their makeshift arena.

Illumi huffed, his stamina was good, but it was hard not to be tired with that kind of speed. He did not come in close again. Instead, he pulled something out of his sleeve.

Hisoka danced out of the way as pins jammed themselves into the ground by his feet.

Hisoka hummed out a small laugh, if it was ranged combat he wanted, he should’ve said something.

The sound of tearing fabric followed the sharp playing card. It hadn’t broken skin, but there was now a small rip in Illumi’s shirt sleeve. He looked back at Hisoka, almost offended. Perhaps he was surprised that Hisoka had a projectile of his own, but it was more likely he was appalled by the idea of something as strange as playing cards being used as a weapon.

Hisoka took advantage of the momentary distraction, closing the gap between them. Illumi dodged Hisoka’s attacks as they came for him. He did well for a time, but Hisoka was faster.

Illumi’s eyes widened as the fist came at his face too quickly for him to move. Then all at once Hisoka's muscles came to a screeching halt. They quivered in protest, but he was the one in control. His punch stopped just shy of Illumi’s face. He extended a finger and gave Illumi a gentle poke on the end of his nose.

“I win,” Hisoka said with a teasing grin.

Illumi wrinkled his nose, not quite pouting, but something close to it.

“You did not win, you gave up,” he insisted.

“Bruises you might have been able to hide, but a broken nose you could not. This is a fun game and I do so enjoy playing with you, but not at the cost of my own life.”

Illumi looked frustrated, both with his defeat and with Hisoka’s refusal to go all out. He couldn’t blame him. Hisoka had felt similar frustration while training. Many of the butlers held back, not wanting to seriously injure him. It would be an exciting day when they decided they were able to fight him at full strength.

“Do you want to go again?” He asked, not bothering to hide his eager tone.

“No,” Illumi said. “I’ve seen what I needed to see. I confess you were correct. You nen makes you too strong. If I have to fight a nen user I should withdraw.”

Hisoka could help but chuckle a little. “Oh Little Illumi, I wasn’t using nen just then.”

Illumi looked at him in surprise. “You weren’t?”

“No, I didn’t want to risk actually hurting you. I like you too much.”

“You’re very strong. I was not expecting that from an apprentice.” He confessed. Hisoka was vain enough that he considered Illumi to be impressed.

“I’ll let you in on a little secret. Take this,” Hisoka shrugged his arms out of the suit jacket and held it out. Illumi took it.

He clearly wasn’t expecting the weight because he nearly toppled over. Thankfully for his pride, he got his footing before he could fall.

“The jacket itself is forty-five pounds, but each part of my outfit is weighted,” Hisoka explained to him, letting the implications sink in. “Imagine how fast I would be if you got me undressed.”

Illumi flushed and threw the jacket back at Hisoka. It smacked against Hisoka's chest with a heavy thud.

“I need to go. Mother will be looking for me.”

“Of course. Have a safe trip Illumi. I will miss you dearly while you are away.” Hisoka told him.

“I will not miss you,” Illumi said defiantly.

Hisoka smiled and watched him until he disappeared. He put his jacket back on and smoothed it back into place.

Now, where was he?

Chapter Text

Hisoka had told Illumi that he would miss him. When he said it, he had meant to tease him, but now that he was gone, Hisoka missed him dearly. They hadn’t been friends exactly, but Hioska had grown used to Illumi’s presence. Without his ever-present shadow, Hisoka was slammed by the realization that he was alone.

Hisoka had spent most of his life alone. Regardless of the crowds or people he surrounded himself with, the feeling that no one was truly with him never faded. He didn’t mind it. People were rather boring. Even if they managed to catch his attention for more than a passing glance, they usually only kept him amused for a short while before the colors faded to a dull beige. Being alone was better than being bored. He could keep himself entertained just fine. That was he didn’t have to deal with the feeling of disappointment.

Which was why he was very surprised to find himself longing for Illumi’s presence almost as soon as he left. Somewhere along the two years, they had known each other, Illumi had made himself a permanent fixture in his life. That fact was rather jarring.

Illumi left the Zoldyck estate on his eleventh birthday. There were no presents or cake, just a pack on the back and his mother’s extensive wailing. Hisoka swore he could hear her even now, despite the fact that the crying trailed off almost a week after Illumi left.

Hisoka had said his own goodbye privately, slipping the other a small sum of money in his pocket. His parents had given him enough money for his airship ticket, but he doubted they had given him any money for food. A part of Hisoka hoped that Illumi would use the money and his newfound freedom to get himself something fun.

He was certain Illumi was aware of the gift, but he didn’t comment on it or acknowledge it in any way. He didn’t even meet Hisoka’s eyes when he said his final goodbye.

Not long after Illumi left, Hisoka looked up Heaven’s Arena. He wasn’t sure what he expected by it wasn’t a tower. 251 floors of beautiful violence. Illumi wouldn’t have an issue making it to the 200th floor. It was at 200 where things got fun, weapons galore. He wondered how powerful the floor masters were, and what kind of ability would they have.

He had fought several people since becoming an apprentice, but none of them had been worth his time. Perhaps the butlers faced powerful foes, but as an apprentice, Hisoka’s battles had all been quick and efficient. He had no more fun than he had brushing his teeth.

He spent a lot of his time these days training his nen. He had nearly perfected his bungee gum and he began working on another technique, but he hadn’t quite found the perfect name for that yet.

The trainers had all but stopped working with him. There was no need. Now that he knew the basics, they could move on to where they were needed. Hisoka was fine on his own. They had nothing more to teach him. He would only get stronger now by his own merit and self-exploration.

So what was the point of staying?

He made a list trying to decide if staying was the right thing to do, but it had gotten him nowhere.

The pay was nice, but he wasn’t allowed to leave the estate until he was promoted, so the money was just sitting in his account. He could probably afford a few months' rent at a decent place while he looked for a new job. He could follow Illumi’s example and go to Heaven’s Arena. He could be a floor master by the end of the week, he was sure of it. That could provide him with a high quality of living.

He was getting a good education, but he wasn’t sure if it came with a degree or anything to show for it. Sure, he enjoyed his classwork more than he anticipated, even if he hated sitting still. He had never thought he would be able to go to school. Where he came from, it wasn’t uncommon to not even know how to read. Hisoka learned quickly that uneducated people were easy to take advantage of and that wouldn’t be him. Perhaps he could leave and finish his schooling, maybe go to college.

There was still the possibility he could fight powerful opponents, but lately, it seemed that he would need to seek out those fights himself. Truly strong people weren’t stupid. They wouldn’t attack the Zoldyck Estate directly.

There was always spite. That was perhaps the most powerful motivator. Apprentices rarely make it to butlers. They drop out because they can’t handle the pressure. Some were not physically strong enough. They were not truly up for the task. They weren’t like Hisoka. He knew he could finish and be promoted. He did want to prove himself that he had what it took, but how much longer until a promotion? A year? Two? Could he survive two more years of this feeling of mediocracy? And if he did stay long enough to be promoted, he was stuck. Leaving wouldn’t be an option. A Zoldyck Butler doesn’t quit, they die.

“Ugh, I don’t know what to do!” He exclaimed.

He looked in the direction of the soft whine that responded to him. Mike nudged him with his large nose. Hisoka grimaced as his face became damp from the contact.

“You are the only one who understands my plight, Mike. You know what I’m going through.” He reached out to scratch the other behind the ear. Mike leaned happily into the touch.

Hisoka was on guard duty, standing in one spot for several hours at a time. It was a new addition to his weekly schedule. He hated it, but he learned that he wasn’t the only lonely soul on the estate. Mike, the great beast of a guard dog, had quickly taken a liking to him.

Even some of the more seasoned butlers were terrified of Mike. They talked about how his eyes were cold like he was analyzing the different ways he could kill you. He could pick the meat clean off the bones of a grown man in less than a minute. He could smell fear from the other side of the mountain. The only way a creature like him could feel joy was by watching a person’s dying breath leave their lungs.

Now, Hisoka didn’t know what if any of that was true, but either way he didn’t see any of that as a bad thing. Hisoka would describe himself with the exact same colors, just slightly different shades. Perhaps Mike saw it too, because the day Hisoka took up his post, Mike had come to join him.

He sat at a distance at first, sometimes watching him, sometimes napping in a nearby patch of sunlight. Each day he got a little bit closer until one day Hisoka was able to reach out and give him a pat on the snout.

Now Mike was spoiled. As soon as he saw Hisoka take his post, Mike rushed over demanding attention.

Like Hisoka, he was lonely. All of his basic needs were met and no one was cruel to him (no one would dare) but he didn’t have anyone who loved him. No one gave him the gentle affection he desperately craved. Hisoka could relate, although he was more than okay with violent affect.

Hisoka sighed, leaning into Mike. He could keep walking forward and reach the testing gate. He could be in town before nightfall. He may be in a cage, but the door wasn’t locked. He absentmindedly rubbed his neck. There was no collar in sight but he still felt the pressure. To the Zoldyck family, there was no real difference between him and Mike. They were both guard dogs.

“Maybe I’ll take you with me,” Hisoka said. “I bet you’ve never been outside of that gate. I could show you things you never could’ve even dreamed of seeing. No one will tell you where to be or when to eat. You’re strong enough to make those decisions on your own. People will be afraid of you but that’s okay. Weak people will always be afraid.”

He looked off into the silent forest.

“Where would you want to go? Maybe the beach. I’ve always been fond of the city myself, but I bet you’d like the beach. There were so many places that I had wanted to see before coming here. I never considered that I’d have to give that up, but... If the chain is only metaphorical, what is keeping us here?”

He looked deep into Mike’s eyes and he got his answer. Those dark eyes. Blank to some but so expressive to Hisoka.

Illumi was here. Sure he was gone at the moment, but he would return. Would Illumi look for him when he returned? What would he think if Hisoka was nowhere to be found? Would he find someone else to follow around? Hisoka didn’t like that thought.

Mike’s ears perked up when he heard the unmistakable sound of the testing doors being opened. By the sound of things, it was three of them. Impressive, but Hisoka was now up to five. Whoever it was passed the test, so Mike wouldn’t attack. They would have to go through Hisoka.

“Looks like I have to go to work. Are you going to stick around?” He asked.

Mike stood and stretched, joints popping with a cracking so loud, it was as if a tree had fallen.

He sniffed the air a few times and then he shot out, racing through the trees to the intruder.,

“Wha- Mike no! They passed the test, this is my fight,” Hisoka called, chasing after him.

The beast was fast, and the forest was his home. He wasn’t bothered by tangled roots or fallen trees. Hisoka was right behind him, but he couldn’t quite catch up. Mike was going to get another unapproved snack.

“Sit!” A firm voice rang out and the forest floor seemed to vibrate as Mike suddenly sat. Hisoka skidded to a stop, senses processing what was right in front of him.

“Illumi!” Hisoka exclaimed.

His hair had grown longer in the month he had been gone. He had it pulled back in a low ponytail to keep it out of his face. He had a small bandage on his cheek but looked otherwise unharmed.

“Ah, Hisoka hello.” He said. Illumi reached out a gave Mike a soft pet.

Hisoka felt his chest grow warm with fondness. Perhaps he and Mike were once again in the same position, missing Illumi.

“Did you have a good time?” He asked.

Illumi shrugged. “It was hardly a challenge, but I took my time.”

“Was it fun at least?” Hisoka asked.

“Fun? I’m not sure. I enjoyed parts of the experience, but I am glad to be home.”

Illumi quietly observed Hisoka, looking like he was contemplating his next words.

“I...missed you when I was gone,” Illumi confessed. “Other people teased me while I was gone, but it wasn’t like your teasing. They were trying to be cruel. You’re not like that.”

“I promise you, I’m very cruel.” He said with a big grin.

Mike let out a soft huff, looking at Hisoka, demanding all attention be on him. Hisoka chuckled at stepped closer to pet him with Illumi.

“He likes you,” Illumi observed. “I’ve never seen Mike like anyone outside of the family. Even then, he tolerates my mother and Milluki, but he likes you.”

“We bonded while you were away. He and I are very similar.”

Illumi hummed in agreement.

“I should get to the house. Father will want a full report, but I want to spar with you again soon. I learned some tricks while I was away.”

“I’m looking forward to it.” Hisoka smiled.

He stood there with Mike watching Illumi as he left.

For him, he could stay. At least for a little while longer.

Chapter Text

It was a big day. A very important day. The whole estate had been in a buzz for a little over a week leading up to today. Hisoka was over it.

Lady Kikyo was giving birth to her third child. Hisoka didn’t know what the big deal was. People give birth all the time. He had seen it once before he came to the estate. It seemed painful to put it mildly. Her screams echoed through the streets, bouncing off the brick buildings and cobblestone as if the acoustics of this place were designed specifically for misery. He remembered there being a lot of blood. Enough that he didn’t know how she was still continuous, but she didn’t look weak. Despite the blood loss and the obvious pain, she seemed strong to him, unwavering even. Determined to live even as the infant inside her seemed to be clawing its way out. He had been pulled away before the grand finale, but he thought there must be some satisfaction once the act was completed.

It was after seeing that he had thought about his own mother for the first time. He had no memories of her and no real desire to learn anything about her. He was fairly certain she was already dead. He was disappointed that she hadn’t had what it took to survive. He wondered if she had given birth to him in these same streets. If she had cried when Hisoka ripped her from the inside out, violent since birth. He wondered if anyone had been there to hold her hand or if she had been alone.

Lady Kikyo wouldn’t be alone. She had a small army of butlers to tend to every need, several doctors, and midwives. Master Silva would be there too, although Hisoka wasn’t quite sure what purpose he served there.

Hisoka had read that in certain cultures, people who died in childbirth were given the same funeral rights as warriors. If giving birth was that much like war, it made sense to go in with an army if one could afford it.

This was such a big deal that they had a meeting at the start of the week to go over preparations. Those who were not in the room with Lady Kikyo would be nearby. The Zoldyck family would need extra support during this time. Giving birth was a distraction and everyone needed to be on the defense.

Hisoka hadn’t been here when Milluki was born, so he didn’t know what to expect, but he wasn’t surprised by the organized chaos that followed. Hisoka’s normal schedule was scrapped for new duties. He had heard some grumbles about the deviations from routine, but Hisoka was happy for the entertainment.

Hisoka was not allowed to go inside the estate home. Apprentices in general were not allowed inside. That was a privilege reserved for butlers, but that was just fine. Hisoka was perfectly content guarding the estate from the outside. Others were given specific areas to guard, but Hisoka’s job was to circle the estate and provide support if needed.

He smiled to himself as he walked, glancing at the unhappy faces of his companions. Some of the more seasoned butlers managed to keep a straight face, but Hisoka could sense their displeasure.

It had been pouring rain for the past two days. It didn’t rain much on Kukuro mountain, but now it seemed as if the heavens had decided to drip a year's worth of missing rain all at once. It pelted down so hard that it broke through the thick canopy of trees like bullets and made the ground slick and muddy. Their suits were waterproof, but their socks were not, and by the end of the first hour of watching everyone seemed to be soaked and miserable.

All the gel had washed from Hisoka’s hair and it hung limply around his face, but he couldn’t find himself vain enough to care. He had always been fond of the rain. Most people found that the rain dampened their senses. It made it hard to see, it deluded scents, and it would block out signs. All of these things were vital to a successful watch. Hisoka was not like most people. He almost felt more aware in the rain. It used to rain a lot where he was from. The water had felt dirtier there than it did here. Here he felt like it was almost pure. Each drop cleansed what it touched and despite the vicious lightning and the thunder that crashed through the trees, he found the storm to be peaceful.

He expected to get a few hours of relaxing wandering in before he had to return to his normal duties, but as the hours stretched on he realized that was not the case. He had made his way back to the front of the estate when another apprentice was stationed. The other had been there a little less than a year and was the most promising of the latest bunch, but Hisoka hadn’t bothered learning his name.

He raised an eyebrow as he watched Kasha leave the house looking rather exhausted.

“There are complications,” she answered the question that was on the tip of his tongue. “Doctors are in there with her now, but it seems the child is breech. It means they’re lying sideways. It will not be a quick or easy labor.”

“Poor Lady Kikyo. That really sucks. Is she going to be okay?” The apprentice asked.

Hisoka felt a wave of irritation ripple through him. His hand shot out, smacking the back of the other’s head.

“Lady Kikyo isn’t some common woman. She and the baby will be just fine and you shouldn’t imply otherwise.”

Hisoka found Kikyo to be irritating at best, and at worse a horrid bitch, but she was without a doubt a Zoldyck. She would be a worthy adversary. So many assumed that Silva was the strong one and Kikyo was his pretty delicate wife. Those people could easily be taken down in one shot if Kikyo wanted. She was emotional, but she was ruthless and efficient. Hisoka knew she was more involved with her children’s training than Silva was. She had seen the marks of discipline that she had left on Illumi.

“We will be here for most of the night. Keep your guard up. We do not have the personnel to work in shifts. We had to pull three people to be in with Master Milluki just to keep him calm.”

Milluki was five now, and every bit at ornery as Illumi was polite. He was not afraid to demand what he wanted from anyone who listened. If he wasn’t given what he wanted it often went one of two ways. He would try to manipulate it out of someone, he was a rather intelligent five-year-old, but the butlers they employed were not easily swayed. If that didn’t work, and it often didn’t, he would throw a tantrum. He could scream for hours. Very few people could calm him down, but Hisoka knew someone who could.

“Master Illumi can usually calm him down.” He had seen Illumi in big brother mode. It was adorable. He was fiercely protective. Patient, but firm. He was a good brother and Milluki respected him enough to listen to his gentle scolding.

“Master Illumi is sick,” Kasha said. “He is not permitted to be anywhere near Master Milluki until his fever breaks.”

“Sick?” Hisoka asked, barely keeping the concern from leaking into his voice. “What’s wrong with him?”

It was uncommon that any of the Zoldycks got sick. They’re trained from birth to resist poison. Their immune systems were in top shape. If he was sick enough that he couldn’t see his brother, it must be bad.

“We’re not sure. The doctors are all with Lady Kikyo. They will tend to him after. He is not in any life-threatening danger.”

That made Hisoka frown. Kikyo had more people around her than most people giving birth had, and yet not one doctor could be spared for Illumi?

“This sucks,” the other apprentice said when Kasha stepped away to go back to her duties. “We don’t get dinner or anything and now we have to stay out in the rain.”

Hisoka looked at him, unamused. This one wasn’t going to make it.

Hisoka wandered off to the side of the estate. He wasn’t worried about Illumi. The younger boy would pull through. No, it was the lack of care. Illumi was like an afterthought to them.

Even though he was certain Illumi wouldn’t echo the sentiment, Hisoka considered Illumi to be his best friend. He cared for the other boy almost as much as he cared for himself. It was hard for him to imagine that his own family wouldn’t give him the same amount of care that Hisoka would.

Another clap of thunder echoed through the mountain and Hisoka paused. Something felt off somehow. He stood perfectly still, trying to analyze the feeling. It felt almost like distress, but it was hesitant. It was strange, but familiar in a way.

He followed the feeling, walking quietly, sure of his footing despite the mud. His nen kept him perfectly hidden. He peered around the corner and saw something unexpected.

They were under attack.

Normally, any intruder wouldn’t make it anywhere near the estate. They would be intercepted and taken care of. But today wasn’t normal. All of the help had been pulled from their posts.

One of the intruders, Hisoka wasn’t sure which, must have decently strong nen. Something that had masked their presence because Hisoka hadn’t noticed their approach.

The three corpses of the butlers assigned to this area explained why no one had been called about the intruders. Hisoka tilted his head to the side, taking in the fighting happening in front of him. Seven intruders in total, with various weaponry, at least two with nen. They were strong. They had to be to take down three butlers. They were not easy to beat in a fight even if they were caught off guard. A shiver went down Hisoka’s spine. They would make for fun opponents.

Someone else had beaten him to the fight and he would be disappointed had it not been Illumi. He was beautiful when he fought. He moved his body with all the confidence of a seasoned predator. He threw his pins like they were an extension of himself and they so rarely missed his mark. Illumi was something so pretty, so deadly.

So why was he in distress?

Hisoka was closer now and he could feel the area around Illumi. He wasn’t scared, but he was doubtful. It was unlike him. Illumi was worried he would lose this fight.

His movements did seem slower. Most wouldn’t notice but Hisoka knew Illumi and knew how he fought. He was sick with a fever. It was bad enough to affect him. Bad enough that he wasn’t allowed around Milluki. Bad enough that it was affecting his ability to fight. Hisoka watched as his hit didn’t land as they should, as his pins were deflected. His chest was heaving quickly as he tried to keep his breath despite the exhaustion.

A flash of lightning reflected in Illumi’s eyes as they met Hisoka’s.

Help me, they screamed.

Hisoka smiled as a tingle ran through his body. He knew this would be a good fight, and he wasn’t about to waste it. He ignored everything he had been told about how situations like this were meant to be handled. He could kill with efficiency, the way he had been taught, but he wouldn’t. He was going to have fun. He was going to give Illumi a show that he would never forget.

Something changed in his aura. Something different than malice seeped out of him in waves. It was something closer to excitement. No, not excitement, lust.

At fifteen years old, Hisoka hadn’t experienced lust the way he read about in books, but this must be it. He felt as though he was on fire. He was desperate to see the life leave their eyes. He wanted his face to be the last they saw. He wanted them to die screaming.

He felt eight pairs of eyes on him as he stopped masking his presence, but the only eyes he cared about were Illumi’s.

He looked back at him as if to say watch this, and then he was off.

The moon broke through the storm clouds like a spotlight as he shot out a card. The first person fell disappointingly easy. His card sliced through his throat like a warm knife through butter, mixing with mud and rainwater on the ground below him. He grasped at his throat but there was no use. He couldn’t stop the blood from spilling past his fingers.

The next one was strong. Almost a foot taller than Hisoka with biceps bigger than Hisoka’s waist. His punches would certainly hurt, but big men were often so slow. The man cried out when his hand was severed below the wrist. He fist-caught the other in the stomach, knocking him back against a tree.

Hisoka let him get his footing, turning instead to the next guy. The knife in his hand seemed so small, but size wasn’t important. It's what you could do with it.

Hisoka seemed to disappear, coming up behind the other and snapping his neck.

He could feel someone behind him. He could hear the way his feet slapped the ground as they rushed him. Hisoka picked up two of Illumi’s pins and flicked them behind him without looking. The scream let him know that he hit his mark. With that man blinded, he turned his attention back to the big guy, who was trying to stumble forward. One slice through his stomach stopped him in his tracks. It would be hard to charge him with his internal organs spilling around his feet.

“Your turn,” he said, looking at the woman with the gun. Her eyes went wide. She was afraid of him, it was rather cute. The bullets went harmlessly past him as he approached her. His hand wrapped around her throat and he squeezed. She clawed at him, but her fingernails hardly did damage. Her trachea was easy to crush with one hand, leaving the other free to send another card between the legs of the man trying to escape.

He dropped the woman and turned just in time to catch the clay pellet that had been launched at him from a slingshot. This next one was bold. Hisoka respected that. He looked young, maybe even younger than Hisoka, but he had made his choices.

He fired off several pellets rapid fire and Hisoka caught them all, but it was all a distraction. The next thing he shot out looked suspiciously like a bomb. Well played, he let the bomb bounce off of his aura, sending it back to the kid. He jumped back, trying to dodge his bomb, but it was too late. It had stuck itself to his torso, detonating. The kid was in pieces.

He picked up the gun off the ground by the woman’s corpse and pressed it to the temple of the man he had blinded.

“No, no please.” He said as he felt the still-hot metal burn his skin.

That was all he was able to get out before Hisoka pulled the trigger. He wasn’t a big fan of guns, but he enjoyed variety every now and then.

“S-stop right there. I mean it. I’m leaving here. If you try to come after me the kid gets it.”

Hisoka looked over at the last remaining man. He had Illumi pulled in close to his body, a knife at his throat.

Hisoka look at Illumi and raised an eyebrow. “I’ve had so much fun tonight, I’d hate to rob you of at least one.”

Illumi gave him a tired look. “Just take care of it.”

“Yes my lord,” Hisoka gave him a mocking bow.

“I’m serious don’t even think-”

Behind him now, Hisoka had a hand on either side of his skull. In a quick burst of speed and strength, he cracked the man’s skull before he had time to think about moving the knife. It was a beautiful ending. The climax of the fight coursed through him. He fell to the ground, and Hisoka felt immediately satisfied. He may have even moaned. He wasn’t sure.

With the fight finished the only sound now was that of the storm.

“Well that certainly was exciting,” he said to Illumi.

He waited for Illumi’s response, but it didn’t come. He looked at the shorter boy. He looked pale. Hisoka lunged forward and caught him as he collapsed, his exhaustion finally winning the battle. He held Illumi in his arms, not wanting him to fall on the dirty ground.

He seemed so impossibly small in Hisoka’s arms. He was only twelve, the same age Hisoka was when he came here. Hisoka was forced to grow up quickly to survive. Illumi was given anything he needed, so why did Hisoka pity him now? He supposed it was clear just how much Illumi valued his family. He was willing to put himself in danger to protect them. He was willing to die himself to save them. And yet, they couldn’t even be bothered to send in a doctor to check on him. Hisoka had always put himself first, but Illumi didn’t put himself first, nobody did. At twelve years old, Illumi had taken on a burden that Hisoka would never.

He curled him in closer to his chest. He was burning up despite the chill of the rain. He needed to get him inside. He needed to make sure someone took care of him. Hisoka understood the basics of first aid. If he had to do it himself, then he would. Rules be damned.

“Well now, isn’t this a sight?”

Hisoka’s eyes widened, startled. How had he not sensed someone coming? He looked over and felt himself freeze.

Zeno Zoldyck.

“From the looks of things, you had a good time. It’s not every day I get to see someone with such pure bloodlust.”

“I uh-” he said unintelligently.

He was standing there, holding Illumi, when touching a member of the family was strictly forbidden.

“You’re Hisoka, right? Silva mentioned you had promised, but this is more than promise. This is an art, and I’d bet anything you’re the one Illumi has been sneaking off with.”

“He watches me while I practice my nen,” Hisoka said. It was close enough to the truth.

“I’d be interested in seeing your nen as well,” Zeno said. “Follow me.”

He began walking back to the house, but Hisoka didn’t follow, too stunned to move.

“I don’t have all night boy. Bring my grandson and follow me.”

Hisoka took a step forward, Illumi pressed rightly to his chest.

This night was so exciting.

Chapter Text

Hisoka was not allowed into the house, but he didn’t dare mention that when Zeno lead him inside. It wasn’t as if Zeno didn’t know the rules. After all, Zeno was once head of the family. He had retired and given the seat to his son Silva willingly, but that wasn’t to say he wasn’t powerful. He wasn’t a weak old man, he just didn’t want the responsibility. Maybe, like Hisoka, he got bored with the routine. He eyed the man as they walked. Hisoka might be able to hold his own for a little while, but it wouldn’t be a fight he would win.

He wasn’t intimidated. Intimidation wasn’t a feeling that Hisoka could ever recall feeling. Instead, he felt antsy. Like he was waiting for a bus when he was already late. Hisoka felt as if he was in a liminal space. A space that was never a destination, but rather where you were between destinations. It was an uncomfortable feeling. He longed for whatever was coming next.

The high of the fight was slowly leaving Hisoka and he found himself growing more tired than he would ever admit. He prepared himself for some type of punishment. As soon as he found the three bodies of the butlers, he should’ve called for backup. He had broken all kinds of protocols when he had given into his, what had Zeno called it? Oh yes, bloodlust. Quite a delicious term. He wasn’t sure where he was going now, but he was nowhere close to the outcome he had predicted. He was officially out of his element.

Hisoka refused to let any confusion show on his face. His training had taught him how to remain perfectly neutral when the situation called for it, although he typically opted for a playful smile as opposed to the straight face so many of his colleagues wore.

The estate was every bit as spectacular as Hisoka imagined it to be. The air even smelled expensive, although he wasn’t sure how that was possible. He took in the details the best he could. Passing vases that cost more than he could ever hope of making, and getting mud on the original hardwood flooring. There was a large family portrait hanging along the staircase. It must’ve been done a while ago because Milluki was still a baby. Illumi must’ve been seven or eight. He still had a layer of baby fat, making his cheeks look flush and round. With a spike of irritation, Hisoka noticed that the artist had gotten his eyes wrong. He had painted his eyes the same inky black as his hair, but that wasn’t right. They were more like an oil spill.

Hisoka chose to focus his mind on that because it was better than letting the annoyance take over. He could feel the eyes following him. Hisoka was well aware of what the other butlers thought of him. He never fit in, never conformed. It drove them crazy. Hisoka never cared. Fitting in was worse than a death sentence. He was not a single face in the crowd. They wouldn’t accept that. Some longed to see him fail. He know they were looking at him now and seeing the proof of his failure unconscious in his arms.

“You,” Zeno pointed at a random butler, who instantly snapped to attention. “Take my grandson to his room, get his fever under control until the doctor can come in.”

The other nodded and approached Hisoka. He hesitated to hand over Illumi. He knew he wouldn’t be harmed, but he didn’t like the idea of Illumi being in the care of someone else. So few people could be trusted. He finally handed him over with the most threatening look he could imagine, the warmth of the feverish boy still lingering on his skin.

Zeno took him to a sitting room and told him to wait, disappearing without any further clue as to why he was there. There was a fire burning in the large brick fireplace. He stood near it, trying to dry off some as he was left alone. He wasn’t sure how long he was waiting until someone new entered the room.

Gotoh didn’t look surprised to see him there, so someone must’ve told him something, but what? Hisoka was not a fan of being surprised. He’d rather do the explaining.

“How much trouble am I in?” Hisoka asked.

“You are always in some sort of trouble,” Gotoh replied. “You have a particular talent for achieving the desired results while breaking as many rules as possible. Tonight you made an unnecessary mess.”

Hisoka nodded, accepting his words like a compliment. Everything he said was true.

“The Zoldyck children are expected to be able to handle any fight they get involved in despite their condition. When you saw Master Illumi had already engaged, you should’ve informed a superior, not gotten involved.

Hisoka’s mouth was a thin line. He wouldn’t steal a fight from Illumi. He wanted nothing more than to allow Illumi his moment of merciless destruction, but that was not what happened.

“I am also not allowed to disobey a direct order from a member of the family,” Hisoka said. “Master Illumi asked for help.” Maybe not with words, but he had asked. “Furthermore, he shouldn’t have had to fight at all. There were three people stationed on that side of the estate and they were weak.”

He shouldn't be wasting his breath trying to defend himself. It didn't matter if he was right or not. He had learned early on that people in power do not want to understand your reasons. They just want an apology and a promise that it wouldn't happen again. Hisoka would give him neither.

Gotoh held up a hand to silence him. “You don’t need to justify your involvement. Despite the clear violation of protocol, you’re not in any trouble.”

“I’m not?” Hisoka asked, surprised. This night was getting more and more confusing.

“You’ve proven yourself tonight. You are correct, three people died defending the estate because they were not strong enough to protect it, but you were able to kill all seven single-handedly. Not many would’ve been able to accomplish what you did tonight.”

“So...because I won, I’m not in trouble?” That wasn’t what happened. Usually Hisoka was still punished for his insolence, in spite of the results.

“You are not only not in trouble. You are being promoted.”

Hisoka felt the air leave his lungs. His posture straightened on instinct as a powerful aura filled the room. Hisoka was not a boy anymore. The suffocating feeling that came along with that aura did not make his stomach flutter the way it use to, but it did make his palms itch. His energy returned to him as if he had gotten a full night's sleep in an instant. Hisoka stared at Silva, who was standing in the doorway, Zeno at his side.

“My father told me what he saw. While your style is unorthodox, there is something to be said about how you’ve grown since you came here. You have an impressive mastery of your nen, and you are able to take a life without hesitation. You have a natural talent for the brutality that some take years to achieve, and more importantly, you put your life at risk to save my son. I believe that you are ready for a promotion.”

“That’s it?” Hisoka’s words left his mouth before the rational part of his mind could stop him. “All I had to do was kill some guys and I get promoted?”

Gotoh looked horrified in his own subtle way, but Silva looked amused.

“What were you imagining?” He wondered.

“I thought I would have to fight you. Like a personal test.” He confessed. He had been looking forward to the possibility of fighting him.

“Did you think you could defeat me?” Silva asked.

“No,” Hisoka answered honestly. “I am confident in my ability but I am not stupid. I was hoping I could get you to break a sweat at least. I just assumed you would personally test our abilities, and kill anyone who wasn’t worth the effort of employing.”

Silva seemed to consider his words. “Tonight has been an exciting one for both you and my family. My third son and my wife are healthy and resting. While I could show you exactly where you are in terms of strength, instead I am going to let you go. Perhaps one day you’ll get your wish, but for now, you are still a child. You have a lot to learn yet. Get some rest tonight. You’ll take your vows tomorrow evening.”

Zeno was grinning. If Hisoka had to guess he would say that Zeno found him amusing. All he knew was the Zoldycks knew he was strong.

“You are very intelligent,” Gotoh said once the Zoldycks were out of earshot. “But somehow you manage to be a total idiot.”

“You’re proud of me, aren’t you? I know you can’t say it, but I know I’m your favorite.” Hisoka was grinning ear to ear.

“You were given less than twenty-four hours to make a decision. Will you be taking your vows? If you do, there will be no going back.”

Gotoh’s words brought Hisoka back to reality. He had to pause and think. That was true. He had spent a great deal of time contemplating leaving, but he hadn’t exactly committed to the idea. Try as he might, he still hadn’t reached a decision on what he wanted to do. Once he took his vows there would be no backing out. There was no voluntary leaving once he was sworn in. It was for life. Even his body would be buried on the estate. It was not an easy decision.

If he stayed he would never be free. The thought of that made his throat hurt like the imaginary collar was growing tighter, but he found it hard to leave. His chain was not nailed to the ground. If it was he could simply pull it out. No, there was only one reason for him to stay and that one reason outweighed all the reasons to leave.

Illumi held the other end of Hisoka’s chain, and Hisoka was curious to see what he did with it.

Every moment he had spent together with Illumi came to the front of his mind. He wanted to know the type of person Illumi would become. He wanted to see if he would surpass him one day. The thought of fighting Silva, potentially dying at his hands, made Hisoka’s mouth water. But that was nothing compared to the pulse of desire he had when he thought about fighting the person that Illumi would one day become.

No one had ever put Illumi first in their minds, but perhaps just this once, someone could.

Hisoka could be that someone.

“Of course,” he responded finally. “I live to serve.”

Gotoh wanted to roll his eyes. Hisoka had known him long enough to be able to tell. The way Hisoka pushed his buttons, he was constantly amazed at the older man’s self-control.

“If you have found your reason to serve I will not talk you out of it,” Gotoh said.

“What was your reason?” Hisoka asked. In the years he had known Gotoh, he hadn’t bothered to learn anything about him.

Gotoh smiled at him. “Perhaps someday I’ll tell you.”

By the time they began their walk back to the butler’s quarters, the rain had stopped. The climax of the night had concluded and the dramatic ambiance must no longer be necessary. The scent of rain lingered on the leaves. Hisoka took it in as the two of them walked in silence.

He went straight to his room, letting his suit fall into a wet pile on the floor. He would clean it up tomorrow. It would be a busy day. He’d have a funeral in the morning and his vows in the evening, but for now, he was going to get some sleep.

Chapter Text

Hisoka woke up at exactly 5:45 am. He didn’t wake to the sound of a blaring alarm or an insistent knock on the door. No, three years in had Hisoka trained. Even if he had the opportunity to sleep in, he wasn’t sure if he could. As if on autopilot, he got out of bed and began to go through his morning routine. He stepped away to the bathroom to brush his teeth and style his hair, covered in nothing but a towel around his waist. He hadn’t bothered with pajamas for a while. He wouldn’t even bother with the towel if it didn’t lead to a scolding. It wasn’t until Hisoka returned to his room and saw his suit lying in a wet pile on the floor that the events of yesterday came rushing back to his mind.

That’s right, today was not a normal day. On average it took an apprentice five years to be promoted, and once he officially took his vows, Hisoka would have done it in three.

He place the suit in a bin for dry cleaning and went about making himself presentable for the day. He opted for his single black undershirt as opposed to one of his white ones. He knew what waited for him this morning.

There was no chatter from butlers or apprentices. The exhaustion from the previous day's events was evident on everyone’s face. Not to mention the three distinct absences. Nothing but the sounds of utensils tapping plates and the distant sound of a boiling kettle could be heard from the dining room. This wasn’t his first funeral. They weren’t frequent, but it was an unfortunate side effect of the job. The Zoldyck family butlers were expected to give their lives serving the family, and these three did exactly that. They would be buried with honors.

There was only one time that Hisoka had seen a butler die without a funeral. It had been his first and only execution. He couldn’t remember the crimes the girl had been guilty of now. In truth, he remembered her death far more vividly than he remembered her life. He couldn’t even recall her name. Yet he could still see the unwavering look in her eye as the knife was held to her throat. She didn’t cry or beg for her life, she wouldn’t give anyone else the pleasure of a show. He had respected that.

Silva did not kill her. He couldn’t be bothered. Whatever her crime was, it wasn’t even worth mentioning in his presence. No, the butlers took care of her execution themselves. Then they had her body burned and tossed out with the garbage. No ceremony, no goodbye. She had died, but not as one of them.

Morning duties could not be put on hold, so while others prepared for the funeral, everyone else got to work. Hisoka left for his first post of the day.

When he arrived he was a bit surprised to find Illumi already there. He looked better, stronger on his feet than he had the night prior. He was already dressed for the day, so he must be out and about.

“You’re looking well,” Hisoka greeted. “Have they let you see your new baby brother yet?”

Illumi fiddled with his fingers in front of him, not looking directly at Hisoka. He would get like this occasionally, shy. It made Hisoka smile. He was confident beyond his age, but he was still a child, and it was clear that Hisoka knew just what to say to elicit an emotional response.

“Yes, his name is Killua. He has eyes and hair like father,” Illumi spoke. He was excited, but he was embarrassed about the excitement. He wasn’t sure how Milluki would take to the post but Illumi loved being a big brother. He took pride in being their protector. “He’s smaller than Milluki was.”

“He will grow,” Hisoka assured him. “It wasn’t that long ago that you were only this high.” He held his hand at about five feet.

Illumi nodded. He remembered. He was growing taller every day, but for now, Hisoka seemed to outpace him, still remaining several inches ahead of him.

“I don’t remember all of the details of last night. I remember hearing voices outside of my window. They weren’t any voices I recognize, and when I looked outside I saw the butlers fall. I tried to stop them, but I failed.”

“You were sick,” Hisoka said. “You don’t get sick often, so you don’t have practice fighting with the handicap.”

“I didn’t know what to do. I wasn’t sure if there were more. If I yelled it might’ve alerted more people, but then I remembered you said you knew what I felt like, my aura. So I tried to use that. Did it work?”

Illumi...had called for him? With his aura? That was unexpected. Hisoka had considered it a happy accident that he stumbled upon the feeling. In truth, he hadn’t recognized it as Illumi until he got closer. It wasn’t like any aura he had felt from Illumi before.

“Of course, I couldn’t turn down the invitation to have that much fun. Dare I say, your dear grandfather was impressed by me. I’m being promoted tonight.” Hisoka said.

“I heard. I’m not allowed to attend. I think I might’ve been able to, but my father is displeased with my performance. I have to train tonight.”

“You’ll be with me in spirit,” Hisoka said, unsurprised by the news. If Illumi were to be an assassin and lead the family, he’d need to be able to fight under any conditions.

“How?” He asked with a small frown.

Hisoka hummed, glancing around as he thought. Then he spotted it.

He bent over and picked up the small rock from the ground. It was smooth and black.

“With this. I’ll have this with me, and it will be like you’re there with me.” Hisoka said.

“That is a rock, that is not me. How will it be the same?” Illumi’s frown deepened.

“It reminds me of your eyes,” Hisoka responded honestly. “I’m rather fond of your eyes. So whenever I have this with me, I’ll think of them.”

Illumi blinked a few times, taking in Hisoka’s words.

“My eyes aren’t likable. They are soulless. They scare people,” Illumi stated this as if it were facts and not wrong opinions from unimportant people.

“Who said that?” Hisoka asked, his smile dropping from his face.

“A man I fought in Heaven’s Arena.”

Hisoka humphed. He hoped Illumi kicked his ass after that. “People who are scared of your eyes are weak. They may not be to everyone’s taste, but I’m not most people. I like them. They are not soulless, they are expressive. If someone can’t see them, it’s because they are lesser.”

Illumi looked like he didn’t know what to make of the complement. It was unlikely that he received many. He fidgeted slightly. It wasn't obvious, but someone who truly knew Illumi would be able to tell. It wasn't uncomfortable exactly, flustered perhaps. Yes, Hisoka liked that.

“Okay, I see. The rock can be me then.”

Hisoka let his trademark grin soften into a more genuine smile. “I am glad you agree.”

After Hisoka said his goodbyes to Illumi, the day passed quickly. In the afternoon, he was summoned to attend the small funeral. There were no coffins or cemeteries on the ground. Instead, the three butlers who passed were cremated and their ashes mixed with soil in the ground. A small tree was planted. They would be the nutrients in the soil. They would help the tree grow strong, protecting the Zoldycks even in death.

Hisoka looked around at the trees that surrounded them. He wasn’t sure how many of these trees started off like the one in front of him. None of them were marked. In time, even those who buried them forgot where they had been planted. He was about to take his vows. In theory, that meant he too would be a tree, but that thought was hard for him to fathom. He knew he wasn’t invulnerable. He was sure to die one day, and a part of him welcomed that. He had already lived much longer than he thought he would. He just hope however he died would be fun. He hoped that how he died left so little of him left that there was nothing to bury.

He met eyes with Gotoh, allowing his unasked question to flit through his mind. Are you prepared for this outcome? Hisoka looked away in response.

While Hisoka had been to a few funerals, he had never seen anyone take their vows. Apprentices were not allowed to attend. Instead, they stayed behind and did all of the work while just about everyone left.

They walked in a big ground up to the main estate, Hisoka at the front of the promenade. No one had a source of light with them, but the moon was nearly full so there were patches of light leading the way through the thick trees. He didn’t need the light. Hisoka could walk the forest blindfolded if the situation called for it.

He wasn’t sure what to expect, but he knew as soon as he saw the collection of candles that he was in the right place. Silva sat on a large throne-like stone, looking as beautifully intimidating as ever.

Everyone took their place around the edge but Hisoka stood in the middle.

“Hisoka Marrow, you are here to take your vows willingly and of your own free will. Ready to pledge your life in service to the Zoldcyk Family.”

“I am.” He replied. It was the truth. No one was forcing him to be here. As an apprentice, he had the luxury of leaving service whenever he liked. He could walk right out of the estate and never look back, of course, he would never be allowed back. If he didn't want to take his vows he could've left at any point, but he didn't. He stayed, accepting what this meant for his future.

“Undress, for it is time for your rebirth.”

The smile wavered on Hisoka’s face. That...seemed kind of fucked up. If this turned into some kind of gangbang initiation ritual then Hisoka would get his fight with Silva sooner than he anticipated.

He carefully removed his clothing, leaving his underwear on No one commented on it, so he figured that it was okay. As he removed his pants, he slipped the rock out of his pocket and into the waistband of his boxers. It wasn’t comfortable but the pressure of it against his hip bone was grounding.

“Knell and state your vows.”

The vows. The same ones that were in the front of the book of rules Hisoka had received his very first day. He had been tested on them relentlessly. He wasn’t sure he could forget them if he tried. Hisoka sunk to his knees, a position he despised being in. The ground cut uncomfortably into his knees. The small shards of rocks in the dirt cut into his skin, not hard enough to draw blood but hard enough to leave impressions.

He could handle the pain, that was not what he disliked about this position. No, it was the feeling of submission that he despised. He allowed himself a few breaths to push the feeling away, instead focusing on what brought him here. The only person he would truly get on his knees for.

“I vow my life in service to the Zoldyck Family.” Illumi’s face flashed in his mind.

“I vow to put my earthly desires aside in favor of the family.” His desires for freedom, his desires of strength, were put aside so that he could see the man Illumi would become.

“I vow to use my life as a shield of protection.” Stepping into a fight for Illumi. Saving his life.

“I vow that this shall be my post from this day until my last day.” The day when Illumi would take his life.

Four simple lines sealed his fate.

Silva rose to his feet and the butler’s around him kneeled.

Silva pulled something from the fire behind him and walked forward. Hisoka’s face remained unchanged as his mind began to race. The red metal seemed to shine like a beacon from hell. He recognized it for what it was. A brand.

Hisoka looked into Silva’s eyes and refused to look away. He was on his knees ready to be marked, but he would not submit, not fully. He would not be owned.

He could feel the heat before the metal touched him. He smelled the metallic twang that it left in the air. The brand was pushed into his abdomen right above his hip. Hisoka didn’t flinch when the metal seared the mark into his skin. The pain went unregistered. The smell of metal was replaced with the smell of burning flesh. It tickled at his nose, but that too was ignored. Instead, his focus was the rock, so small but present as it pressed into his skin.

It was over quickly enough. Silva took a step back and instructed him to rise as a butler. The mark throbbed with pain, sending small jolts throughout his body. He ignored it.

Hisoka stood, firm as ever, and bowed.

Chapter Text

In his first year, Hisoka learned that there were many perks to being a Zoldyck butler. The first was that he was finally able to leave the grounds. He didn’t have much personal time, but the role he was given allowed him several trips outside of the estate. The next perk was the increase in pay. He hadn’t been expecting anything more. He already had more money than he knew what to do with. It was thanks to those two things that he was able to make small increases to his lifestyle.

The first thing Hisoka did upon being able to leave the estate was go to a salon. He treated himself to luxuries that he had only ever dreamed about. Before he had come to the estate, Hisoka had dyed his hair a variety of vibrant colors. Any box dye he was able to get his hands on soon found its way into his hair. After much trial and error, he had gotten quite good at it. However, as an apprentice, he wasn't allowed to color his hair. The stylist at the estate had dyed it a dark brown that nearly matched his roots, and that was how he had kept it. Now that he had more freedom he decided it was time for a change. He read his manual inside and out, it was easier to get away with breaking the rule when you understood them. He knew his hair had to be a natural color, but naturally came in so many shades. As soon as he could he went to a salon and got it dyed red and while it may look shocking on some people, on Hisoka it looked natural. He had his nails filed, opting for a deadly point. He couldn’t have them polished, but they were buffed until they shined. Finally, he got his body hair waxed, choosing to only keep the hair that had grown in a soft dark trail on his stomach down between his legs. Everything else came off quickly thanks to skilled hands.

Hisoka was rather pleased with the results and went back every month for upkeep. At sixteen, nearly seventeen, he was starting to grow into his looks. He was taller than most of the other butlers. His long limbs were no longer gangly, but rather elegant. His waist was rather small and feminine, and occasionally a man would put his hand on the small of his back when crossing behind him. It gave him great pleasure to see the look on their faces when he revealed that he was very much a man. He found a connection to feminine beauty but mixed it seamlessly with his own masculine traits until he found a look he felt comfortable in.

After three years of isolation on the estate, Hisoka was excited to be back out in the world. He hadn’t expected to live a life with travel, but his natural performance ability had helped land him a perfect role. Hisoka’s proficiency in mathematics and his inclination for violence had landed him a role in collections.

After all, assassinations weren’t just about murder, it was a business, and what good was a business if it didn’t make money? Hisoka couldn’t imagine anyone being stupid enough to contract the Zoldyck family and not pay up, but it happened frequently enough that butlers like Hisoka were sent out to collect.

The best part of the role, other than he could be as violent as he needed to be to get the money, was that he was able to wear clothing other than his suits. The Zoldyck butler suit was not only recognizable but it was also copyrighted. Seeing it would be a clear giveaway that Hisoka was here to collect, and he didn’t want to give anyone a chance to run. The chase could be fun every now and then, but Hisoka quickly learned anyone who chose to run, wasn’t worth fighting.

Over the last year, Hisoka had built up a decent collection of clothing that fit his personal style. While nothing was as eccentric as he would like it to be, the variation in color made him smile. As a child, most of his clothing was hand-me-downs, or whatever he could find abandoned in the trash. For the first time in his life, Hisoka was wearing what he wanted, and he loved it. He was expected to change before returning to the estate, but he wasn’t expected back until tomorrow, so he enjoyed the time while he had it.

Hisoka had gotten lucky and finished his last job quicker than anticipated. It had been some politician who hadn’t received enough under-the-table donations to cover the fees for having his top opponent taken out. Hisoka hadn’t been interested in fighting him, but the spineless lump of a man folded before Hisoka could even draw his weapon. He transferred the remaining balance plus an extra fee for the inconvenience. It had given him a bit of spare time before his last appointment of the day.

He was spending some time strolling along the shops next to the beach. It was a crowded area and if Hisoka was less graceful he’d find himself constantly bumping shoulders with everyone around him.

It was the tourist trap in the area, filled with cheap trinkets sold at triple the price, cheesy t-shirts that will be tossed aside and forgotten about once brought home, and a small collective of pickpocketing children. Hisoka found it more amusing than anything and purposely left some coins unguarded so they could hone their practice.

In another life, Hisoka might’ve made a life in a town like this, making a living with his card tricks. Instead he was being called on by shop owners urging him to come see their wares. They saw him as someone with money, someone who could help them afford the rent for the month. He had been glancing over things half-heartedly when something caught his eye.

It was a keychain about four inches in length. It had a cheap-looking chain that would probably break with any significant force, but at the end was a tiny playing card. A little king of hearts.

Hisoka didn’t even try to haggle the price. He paid for it and slipped it carefully into his pocket.

Since he had started leaving the estate for jobs, Hisoka had joked about bringing Illumi back a souvenir, but he hadn’t done so yet. This would be perfect. The real challenge would be getting Illumi to accept the impractical and useless gift. He was looking forward to getting him to accept it.

With a spring in his step, he continued on to his final appointment of the day. The last appointment was a bit of an abnormality. Al-Rigo had never missed a payment before. He had been a long-term customer of the Zoldyck’s, but this was the first payment that hadn’t been sent precisely on time. He dealt mostly with organized crime. His killings were usually handled in-house except in cases that required a specialized skill set.

This hit had been carried out according to all specifications, and yet the payment hadn’t gone through. It wasn’t Hisoka’s job to figure out why, he just needed to collect the money. He was itching for a good fight, but he was under specific instructions to not attack. He didn’t want to risk damaging such a long-term partner.

Usually, Hisoka had free reign to pick fights when he wanted. Perhaps that was why he was given this job. Torcher was far more effective when the person could sense that Hisoka would very much like to kill them and was only holding back under the pretense that he would be getting paid. The boring ones he would shake up, not spending too much time with. But the interesting ones hardly got a choice. Hisoka would attack before they had a chance to talk their way out of it. So far he had a 92% collection rate, with only a couple of deaths due to refusal to pay.

Al-Rigo was squarely in the interesting person category. Hisoka wasn’t sure if he did much fighting himself, but he likely had a small army of people at his disposal to defend him. Perhaps even nen users. It could be a good fight, but it wasn’t often that he was specifically told not to use force unless there was no other option. So he’d try charm, and see where that got him. Perhaps afterward he would find himself a local fighting ring to find a use for his bloodlust.

He walked into a rather mundane-looking office. A small blonde girl sat at a desk, her long red fingernails clacking against the keyboard in front of her. She didn’t look up at Hisoka as he entered.

“I’m sorry, we are appointment only.” She had gum in her mouth and lazily chewed it as she spoke. Hisoka inhaled the scent of spearmint. Not his preferred flavor.

“I do have an appointment.” He replied with a charming smile.

“I don’t have any appointments on the calend-ah!” She cried out in shock as one of Hisoka’s cards lodged itself into the desk inches from her hand.

They were special cards, custom-made for him. He wasn’t sure where Gotoh had them commissioned, but he was certain he was behind it. They were sleek, all matte black with the Zoldyck family sigil in gold detailing on the back, and either glossy black or red numbers depending on the suits.

She finally looked up at him, trembling almost as she met his eyes.

“H-he’s in his office. You can go on inside, sir.”

“Thank you, you have been most helpful.” He gave her a nod as he continued through the heavy oak doors.

“Who the hell are you? Who let you in?” The man behind the desk, Al-Rico, looked like a man who had spent most of his life overindulging. He was rather round, and his face was pink. The mostly empty glass of whiskey on the desk was the likely culprit of his flushed appearance. Most of his hair had fallen out, leaving him with a sizeable bald spot, poorly covered by a combover of wiry black hair. He was alone, but Hisoka could feel the presence of others through an unseen door. It was likely hidden by the bookcase. Some people were so predictable.

“I am here on behalf of the Zoldyck family. Your payment is past due.”

He grimaced. “That shit? Well, you can tell Silva to go fuck himself. We had a deal. He did not deliver on his end so I’m not paying.”

Hisoka frowned. “Perhaps I misunderstood what I was told. The job was completed, yes? Mr. Moriomoto is dead?”

“Well yes, but-”

“And the death was quick, quiet, and has drawn no attention to you?”

“Yes, but see here-”

“Then I assure you Master Silva has fulfilled his end of the transaction, and therefore payment is due. Refusal to pay, per the contract you signed, will result in death.”

“I agreed to hire an assassin, not to some child!” Al-Rico snapped. “I don’t know who Silva thinks he is sending out some brat in his place, but that is not what I asked for.”

A child? Ah, that was right. Illumi had mentioned a contract, his first solo one. He hadn’t said he was excited but Hisoka saw the way his eyes shined and the way he picked on the fraying hem of his shirt sleeve. He was looking forward to it, and from the report Hisoka had received it had gone well, with the exception of the lack of payment.

“That was not some brat, as you put it. That was Illumi Zoldyck. You contracted the Zoldyck family.”

“I don’t care if he was a goddammed prince, that is not what I asked for. So I’m not paying.”

This man was rather irritating. He could talk his way out of this, and help Al-Rico see the logic, but he didn’t want to. He pulled out his phone, switching it to video.

“Would you please repeat that?” Hisoka asked, aiming the camera at him, making no move to hide the fact that he was recording.

Al-Rico didn’t blink. Men like them truly believed nothing could hurt them.

“I said, fuck your contract. I’m not paying for shit. Both and that kid can go fuck yourselves.”

Hisoka pressed stop and sent the video off. That sounded like a refusal to him.

“I’m so glad you said that because I had been looking forward to making you bleed.”

Hisoka offered him a big smile with no warmth behind it.

Shlink.

In an instant Al-Rico’s middle finger had been severed. Blood was starting to pool out onto the desk. The larger man stared at his hand in disbelief. But by the time he remembered that he could call for help, Hisoka had stuck his lips together with bungee gum.

“I want you to know that I am holding back. I want nothing more than for you to call your help so I can slaughter them and pick you apart very slowly. You wouldn’t be fun to fight, but I take great joy in taking men like you down a peg or two.”

The fear was practically oozing from every pore of his body. It was delicious. Hisoka could see the idea of death registering in Al-Rico’s mind. He was going to die.

He let out a muffled cry.

“I’m sorry, what was that?” Hisoka mocked, releasing the bungee gum.

“I said I’ll pay.”

With shaking hands he grabbed his phone, and quickly made the transfer. He turned the phone around to show that the full amount had been sent to the appropriate account.

“Now that wasn’t so hard, was it?” Hisoka pulled his card out of the desk and turned to leave. “It was a pleasure doing business with you.”

“Guards! Kill this man!”

Well, that was an unexpected turn. Usually, people paid, or they fought, not both.

Just like Hisoka assumed, the bookcase opened up and guards began pouring out. The addition of thirteen more people made it a cramped space, but Hisoka was flexible. He was willing to make it work.

No one had nen, but they all had guns. They weren’t any good with them though. A well-placed turn and they would watch their bullets go through the skull of one of their own men. It was a cacophony of crazy. The sound of screaming, the smell of gunpowder. It was beautiful, but it was over so quickly. Hisoka’s shirt was now soaked in crimson blood, none of it his.

Al-Rico was still sitting at his desk, growing ever more pale.

“That was unnecessary, but I appreciate the entertainment. Have a nice day.”

He stepped over the bodies to make his way out of the room.

Hisoka pulled his phone out once again when he was outside. He was getting quite a few concerned looks from people as he passed by. His hair felt sticky and his face was growing uncomfortable as the blood began to dry in itchy patches. He should find a place to shower before he needed to catch his airship.

“Hisoka” The voice on the other end answered.

“Al-Rico isn’t dead, which I’m sure is a better outcome than you predicted,” Hisoka said.

“Why do I feel like there is more to that statement.”

“I did take out about thirteen of his men, but he did attack first.”

“You know the rules regarding collateral damage.”

“I made the best decision given the circumstances,” he lied. He made the decision he found to be the most fun, and they both knew it.

“I expect a full report regarding the incident.”

Hisoka sighed. This role was almost perfect. If it wasn’t for the paperwork.

“Of course. En route home now.”

He hung up, putting his phone back in his pocket, frowning when he met some unexpected resistance. That was right, the keychain. Illumi.

Hisoka would have to get the details of his first solo mission.

He wasn’t able to see Illumi until a few days after he returned. Illumi was getting consistently busier between training his nen and assignments. Not to mention the handful that one-year-old Killua was becoming.

“I heard you managed to make a mess of your latest assignment,” Illumi said.

“Why do you assume that I was the problem?” Hisoka asked.

“Because you usually are. I do not understand why you don’t follow proper procedure. It would be more efficient.”

“I am not a being of efficiency, my dear Illu.”

Illumi’s nose wrinkled at the nickname. He preferred his given name, but he had learned that no amount of argument would get Hisoka to do what he didn’t want to do.

“Now, do you want to see a magic trick?” Hisoka asked, pulling out his cards before Illumi could answer. “Pay careful attention. Remember one card and only one card.”

Hisoka flicked through the deck quickly. Most people wouldn’t have been able to make out any particular card, but Illumi wasn’t most people.

“Do you have one?” Hisoka asked.

Illumi nodded.

“Perfect! Now check your right pocket.”

Illumi put his hand into his pocket, prepared to pull out a card, but instead out the small keychain.

“Was that your card?”

Illumi did not answer, but Hisoka saw the way his eyes widened the smallest amount when he looked at the small charm. It was.

“What am I supposed to do with it?”

“Keep it. It's the souvenir I promised you.” Hisoka said.

“I told you I didn’t want anything. I have no use for trinkets.”

“Not everything needs to have a use Illumi, but if I needed to give this one, then it is a reminder.”

“Of what, your inability to do your job correctly?”

“Of my service to you.” He said, punctuated by an over-dramatic bow. “Your contract did not want to pay, but you committed a flawless execution, so I got you what you deserved. You’re welcome.”

Illumi looked at the key chain in his hand. “Very well. But I will not display it, and you should not bring me anymore.”

“Whatever you say, Illu.”

Chapter Text

Hisoka had met a handful of interesting people in his life. One dark-eyed assassin ranked at the top of that list. More often than not he ended up meeting people who thought they were interesting but were actually very boring. He found humans had a tendency to overvalue their own presence. Hisoka took no more pleasure in killing men that thought they were important than he did in killing a bug. It was hardly a fight. Just squashing a being into a gross little blob that Hisoka would have to clean off of his shoe.

He thought that it was fitting to think about bugs considering the boy he was on his way to see thought himself a spider. Hisoka did mean boy, as the leader of this little gang was only seventeen. Of course, Hisoka himself was eighteen but was used to confronting men more than twice his age. Men that were well-established in their criminal careers. The Phantom Troupe as they called themselves was a relatively new gang. They were thieves, relatively successful from what Hisoka had heard, but by the state of their current haunt, he wouldn’t have guessed it. According to the file that Hisoka had skimmed over prior to leaving for the assignment, the gang originated in Meteor City. Compared to that literal dump of a city, this was practically high society. At the very least it smelled better.

Hisoka appreciated the unnecessary dramatics of the ruins of the church in front of him. He was surprised it was still standing, given the extent of the damage. It was a true testament to the quality of the architecture. Judging by the way nature had crept back to reclaim the land, it had been destroyed some time ago and no one had bothered to clear away the rubble.

Hisoka shrugged, stepping forward on the moss-covered path to the front door. He had slept in places worse than this in his childhood. He entered the church with little fanfare. It was a cold night and the cropped shirt and low-rise pants Hisoka had worn during the day did not protect him from the chill that came when the sun went away. He had a bottle of something bubbly back in the hotel suite he had booked for the assignment. He didn’t feel like toying with little boys who club fancied themselves a gang. Besides, they were expecting him. Why else would the whole troupe be waiting inside?

The leader of the Phantom Troupe, Chrollo Lucifer, had positioned himself in such a way that the moon shining through the still intact large stained glass window surrounded him like a spotlight. He sat on a pile of rubble like it was some sort of throne. He was flanked on either side by members of his gang. There were three on each side. All of them spiders. They looked at Hisoka like he was a fly who wandering into their web.

He smirked at them, the hostility in the room giving him shivers of pleasure. Perhaps this would be worth his time after all. He could feel the power in the room. “Good evening Mr. Lucifer.”

“Please, Chrollo is just fine,” the leader replied.

“A first name basis already? I’m honored. I’m here on behalf of the Zoldyck family. It seems a debt is owed.”

“I know why you’re here,” Chrollo replied. “It was never my intention to skip out on payment. I was simply waiting for a deal to go through.”

“Ah, I see, so I came all this way for nothing,” he said shrugging. It wasn’t the first time someone had put off paying until they were paid out. Criminals rarely had set paydays. So why did he get the feeling there was more to Chrollo’s story?

“You have a bit of a reputation, Hisoka Morow,” Chrollo told him.

Hisoka raised an eyebrow. He certainly hadn’t told Chrollo his name. He rarely introduced himself at all. As far as the criminal underground was concerned, all Zoldyck butlers were the same. There was no point in differentiating.

“The associate who recommended the Zoldyck services issued a warning. Be prompt with your payments, he said, because their collector has a taste for blood. He doesn’t kill because he’s told to. He does it for fun.”

So he did have a reputation. He didn’t know that. A giddy feeling tickled his throat, like his soul was giggling with pride.

“You must not’ve taken his warning seriously. Otherwise, we wouldn’t be meeting here.”

“Actually, I was hoping we’d get to meet,” Chrollo confessed.

Hisoka’s smirk widened into a predatory grin. “Were you hoping for a fight? I’d be more than happy to indulge you.”

“I was actually hoping you’d consider joining us.”

That...was an interesting offer. Hisoka looked around at the other members. Chrollo sounded friendly and genuine with his offer. They didn’t look happy about their boss’s choice but they didn’t speak out. Unlike the Zoldyck butlers, there was nothing uniform about them. Everyone had their own individual style. They probably each had their own specialty too. They each had their own style that had been shaped by hardship and survival instinct, not training. They would be volatile and unpredictable. They would be fun.

Hiska had no interest in thievery, but the challenge was intriguing, to say the least. He could see himself here, fitting in far better than he did in his current position. A group of selfish individuals collaborating only because it benefited them.

It was a tempting offer. One that he would consider if he didn’t have the promise of a long-standing battle waiting for him back home. Chrollo would have to make it worth his while.

He walked up to Chrollo’s makeshift throne. Those around him tensed up, preparing to attack, but Chrollo remained relaxed. He didn’t make any move to stop Hisoka as he placed a finger under the other’s chin and tilted his head up. Chrollo looked up into Hisoka’s eyes, still awaiting his response.

“Fight me, and I’ll consider the offer.”

“Back off.”

Hisoka looked over at the one who spoke. He was a tiny thing, smaller than Illumi was when they had first met. Bloodlust was seeping out of him. His hands twitched. He was ready for a fight, even if his leader was not. He’d just need a little push.

“Cute,” Hisoka cooed. “You don’t like the idea of another man putting his hands on your precious leader? I understand, I’m a bit of a jealous man myself.”

He watched the other’s face go bright red in embarrassment and anger. He sprung forward, but Hisoka was prepared for the attack. He was also lighter on his feet without his heavy clothing. The other’s eyes widened in surprise as Hisoka seemed to materialize behind him. He grabbed him by the scruff of his neck like an angry kitten.

“Now then, if you wanted me all for yourself all you had to do was say so,” he whispered in his ear.

The shorter boy fell backward onto the floor as Hisoka suddenly let him go to avoid another attack. This man was much larger, obviously an enhancer, which was always so fun to play with. The concrete cracked beneath his fist as Hisoka effortlessly dodged his attack. He heard the shots being fired behind him. With a wave of his hand, the bullets bounced off his bungee gum shield, sending them back in the direction they came from.

“Shit!” He heard someone call out as they found themselves dodging an unexpected barrage of bullets.

Hisoka could hear his heartbeat in his ears. His whole body was tingling. They were strong. Very strong. Which was impressive because he could tell they were holding back. They didn’t want him dead because Chrollo found him interesting. It was on his orders that they were holding back. That made Hisoka shiver. He knew from experience that powerful people only followed someone they believed was more powerful than them. Chrollo must really be something special.

Hisoka wanted to fight him, perhaps more than he wanted to fight Illumi, but not bad enough that he would follow his orders. He had already sworn himself in service to one man. He would never again.

“Enough.” One word from Chrollo stopped the battle in its tracks. “I’ve wired the appropriate payment. I apologize for the delay and for wasting your time.”

Hisoka was breathing harder than normal. He hadn’t worked that hard in some time.

“Nonsense, I enjoyed my time. You really know how to show a man a nice evening,” Hisoka said.

“I hope you consider my offer. If you ever decide you're tired of living on a leash, I’m sure you’ll figure out where to find me.”

Hisoka’s irritation spiked. It was bold of a man who had collared almost everyone in this room to judge Hisoka for his own captivity. They likely believed themselves to be free. The same way cats who thought themselves feral returned to the same houses with the same bowls of food waiting outside. They were no more free than he was.

“I’m sure it won’t be too difficult.” Hisoka turned to leave.

“And give my regards to Illumi. He does beautiful work.”

He hated the sound of his Illumi’s name on the other boy's tongue. It sounded filthy and too familiar.

Hisoka’s card flung out to his mark perfectly. Chrollo caught it between his fingers, inches from his face. He still looked completely unbothered.

“Something to remember me by,” Hisoka said, throwing a wink over his shoulder. He could hear the sounds of arguments brewing as he left. It was nice to be the topic of conversation after you left the room.

Chrollo Lucifer. He’d get his fight someday.

Chapter Text

In the years Hisoka had spent studying the Zoldyck family, there was one thing he had never seen in a file. It was an impressive feat considering they had everything from blood type to preferred tea. Never had Hisoka seen a list of weaknesses. If they had any, they weren’t documented, which made sense, but it was also infuriating. Hisoka hated having incomplete information. So naturally Hisoka made it his personal mission to figure them out.

He hadn’t gotten anywhere with Kikyo or Silva, but he learned that Milluki was not as physically fit as the rest of the family. Somewhere along the line, Silva had given up on training his second eldest and let him pursue other hobbies. He had taken a liking to anime and was quickly filling up his rooms with figures that he did not like people to touch. He also had a penchant for ransomware. Perhaps not as exciting as a regular assassination, but just as deadly in some cases. Hisoka knew that Miluki could only run short distances before getting winded. He suspected that he had some form of asthma, not that his parents cared enough to have him tested. Better to let him sit and his room and forget about him. After all, they had more sons. He was also easy to fluster and more prone to making mistakes when he was angry.

As strange as it seemed, Killua’s weakness was that he was naturally talented. He picked up on things faster than Milluki and sometimes even faster than Illumi. He was going to be a great assassin one day, but for now, he was still a child. Since he had such an amazing innate ability, no one was teaching him how to learn. Hisoka had seen him give up on tasks that he could’ve gotten if only he had spent a little bit of time honing the skill. He also wasn’t a fan of bugs and had nearly stabbed himself during training because he was startled by a moth.

Alluka was...well dead or sick most likely. Hisoka didn’t know much about Alluka and whenever he tried to learn specifics, the subject was hastily changed.

Kalluto’s weakness was that he was two years old. While he was certainly stronger than the average two-year-old, he was still learning the basics of how to be a human, let alone how to be an assassin.

He knew quite a bit about the Zoldyck siblings, but Illumi Zoldyck was someone Hisoka could’ve written an entire book about. He had watched him grow, making his weakness obsolete. He watched his nen blossom as he honed his techniques. He watched as Illumi became something so deadly it made Hisoka shutter with delight. At sixteen Illumi was nothing short of a weapon, but that didn’t mean he was above weaknesses. His first weakness was his brothers. He wasn’t sure if Illumi loved his parents, but he did love his brothers. If one wanted to see Illumi’s perfectly calculated control slip, one would simply have to threaten his brothers. His next weakness was his insecurities. Hisoka had never understood the purpose of self-doubt. He had spent so long being doubted by everyone else. He didn’t see a point in doing it himself. Illumi on the other hand held himself to impossibly high standards. Unlike Killua who would give up if he didn’t get something right, Illumi would work on it until it was perfect. With Illumi there was no good enough. There was perfect or there was nothing. It was exhausting to watch. But the weakness of Illumi that Hisoka loved to exploit about all others was his love of sweets.

The Zoldyck children were kept on a very strict diet and weren’t allowed sweets outside of special occasions. The only bit of rebelling Illumi ever did was sneak sweets. Chocolate was among his favorites.

His parents watched his bank account so he couldn’t buy them himself, but luckily Hisoka was more than willing to encourage this rebellious behavior. He would always come back from his assignments with something sweet for Illumi. Usually, Illumi would intercept him upon his return before Hisoka even had time to report in. Tonight was one of those nights. Illumi hadn’t said much, but he didn’t need to. Hisoka could read him like an open book and had given him a small bag of chocolates before he could ask. He sat on the ground to enjoy them. The bag was halfway gone and Illumi was still focused on unwrapping the individual chocolates and popping them in his mouth before carefully folding the foil wrapper up into a small square, placing them in a pile. The first few he had chewed, but now he was just letting them melt on his tongue.

Hisoka, as a general rule, did not like silence, but with Illumi it was different. Most people were quiet because they didn’t know what to say. Illumi was quiet because he had nothing to say. Silence with Illumi was comfortable, although Hisoka usually opted to fill it with his own monologue. Tonight he was fine sitting in Illumi’s company and enjoying his own candy.

Illumi’s hair was shorter than it had been the year before. Hisoka was devastated when Illumi’s long locks were cropped short. He hoped the target whose mission it was cut for died in the most painful manner. Illumi hadn’t said anything, but Hisoka could tell he didn’t like it either. He was already trying to grow it back out.

Hisoka was so transfixed in his staring that he didn’t catch that Illumi was speaking to him until he had finished.

“Sorry, what was that?” He asked.

“I asked what your first time having sex was like,” Illumi repeated, his face as passive as ever.

Hisoka coughed the suddenness of the question causing him to choke on his gummy treat.

“That is an odd question. Why do you ask?” Hisoka asked once he was able to catch his breath.

“I had sex for the first time on my last mission. It was not a pleasant experience and I’m not sure if that is normal, or it I did it wrong.”

As sad as it was, Hisoka was less surprised to find that Illumi had had sex on a mission rather than hooking up with someone. They both knew it was a possibility, especially given Illumi’s skill set.

Silva had raw strength and power. He could take out large gatherings of people easily. Kikyo was a skillful sniper. She could pick out her target in a stadium full of people and take them out in one shot. Illumi was an infiltrator. His nen manipulation made him ideal for jobs where they wanted things done quietly. Illumi could go to an event without alerting security, isolate his target, kill them, and slip out unseen before anyone even realized they were dead. Seduction often went hand in hand. He wasn’t surprised that it had led to sex.

“What was unpleasant about it?” Hisoka asked. Maybe he had done it wrong. The mechanics in theory were simple, but he knew it was more complicated than it seemed on paper. It seemed unlikely that Illumi would get it correct on his first go around. Of course, he was already working towards perfection.

“It was...wet?” Illumi frowned, trying to think of the right words to use. “I learned all of the most common estrogen zones and she seemed to enjoy herself, but I’ve been told that women will sometimes fake pleasure. I myself found it difficult to finish.”

“I see, maybe it was the gender of your partner. Some people do have a preference. Did you find any part of it arousing?” He asked.

“I didn’t mind her touches, but once I was inside of her she just laid there. I ended up doing a majority of the work.”

“Well, in that case, you didn’t do anything wrong. She was not a very attentive partner.”

Illumi hummed thoughtfully. “I see, and your first experience was pleasurable because your partner was attentive?”

“Ah, not exactly,” Hisoka said with a wave. “It is just common sense. If you’re not being touched the way you like to be touched. Then it won’t feel as good. Humans are complicated. It would make sense that the sensation of penetration alone isn’t enough for you.”

Illumi frowned a little bit. “Why are you deflecting my questions? I expected you to be more forthcoming about this topic given your overtly sexual nature.”

“I should’ve known I couldn’t sneak that past you. I confess I don’t have any personal experience with sex. I’ve certainly read a lot on the topic, I could recommend some particularly filthy books, but I’ve never had a partner.”

“You’ve never had sex?” Illumi sounded surprised. Hisoka was a bit of a flirt, but it wasn’t his fault that his natural charm was mistaken for sexual interest.

“Nope,” Hisoka replied. “As I’m sure you’re aware, romantic and sexual relationships are strictly forbidden for butlers both inside and outside of the estate. I came here when I was twelve, so I didn’t have time to gain experience.”

Illumi rolled his eyes. “Since when have you cared about following the rules?”

“Since the punishment for breaking that rule is death.” Hisoka contemplated a moment. Illumi had a point, he never cared for rules, but he didn’t break them without a reason and truthfully he never had a reason to break this one. “Maybe I’d consider it someday, but no one had interested me enough to pursue it.”

“You expect me to believe that you are not interested in sex,” Illumi asked.

“In truth, I’m more interested in fighting than I am fucking. Don’t get me wrong, I enjoy an orgasm as much as the next person, but I can get myself off just fine. A good fight to get the blood flowing and then a few perfectly hooked fingers up the ass is a perfect evening in my opinion. Why would I ruin it by bringing in another person? I’ve been told by many people that I am a handful.”

Illumi tilted his head to the side. “I see.”

Hisoka found himself with a lap full of Illumi. His thighs straddled his hips and Hisoka could feel just how toned they were underneath the thin fabric that covered them. Illumi had positioned himself to that he could peer down at Hisoka, the darkness making his eyes look impossibly deep.

“I believe you are uninterested because you need someone to demonstrate their strength before they can dominate you.”

“No one dominates me,” Hisoka replied, not looking away from his eyes. To anyone else, they were unreadable, but to Hisoka, he could see the haze of lust and a twinge of something else. Something far more exciting.

“Bold words from someone who wears my family name branded on their hip.” Illumi’s hand ghosted against the burn scar that lay beneath his clothes.

Illumi was close enough that he could smell the chocolate on his breath. Hisoka’s face was painted with a lazy smile. If Illumi’s words were meant to make him feel small, they fell flat. Hisoka had taken the mark willingly, no one had forced him. No one owned him, not even Illumi.

He caught Illumi’s other wrist in his hand effortlessly, stopping the pin from piercing his neck. The seductive look in Illumi’s eyes dropped as his attack was stopped. He moved to go for another attack but found that his other hand was stuck. His legs were also stuck to Hisoka. Unable to move his limbs, Hisoka was able to flip Illumi over onto his back.

“Your seduction has come a long way, but I prefer the real Illu over this honey-covered version you wear for lesser men. You would’ve had a better chance of distracting me if you had just let your bloodlust go unmuted.”

“I’ll catch you off guard one day,” Illumi said.

“I look forward to the day,” Hisoka replied. “Now, say ah.”

Illumi opened his mouth and Hisoka put a chocolate onto his tongue. Hisoka deactivated his bungee gum and rolled off of Illumi, laying next to him in the dirt.

“I hope that the next person you take to bed takes better care of you,” Hisoka mused.

“It’s fine if they don't. I can’t afford to be distracted by pleasure while on a mission. There is no one I want to have sex with for the sake of pleasure right now.”

“Mm, in the meantime you can always fight me. I can show you how it can be just a good.”

“No, fighting you would be more trouble than it's worth.”

Hisoka pouted. “You’re no fun Illu.”

Gone were the days of Illumi demanding Hisoka spar with him. He missed those days, but he found he didn't mind this. Laying on the ground in comfortable silence while Illumi finished up the rest of his candy.

Hisoka didn’t care for chocolate as much as he did other sweets, but that night he found himself chewing on a piece. He remembered how it smelled on Illumi’s breath and how it blended beautifully with his blood lust before Illumi went for his needle. Illumi wouldn’t know it, but just for a brief moment, Hisoka had been distracted. He had let himself become consumed with the idea of Illumi’s needle in his neck. How would it have felt? Illumi could insert his pins painlessly when the situation called for it, but for Hisoka would he make it hurt?

Hisoka felt his body shutter. Illumi hadn’t spared with him since he had learned nen. He had claimed that the battle would be too messy. It would call attention to their interactions. He didn’t want to risk it, but Hisoka knew one thing for certain. The next time they fought, it was going to be a battle to remember.

Chapter Text

Hisoka could not describe the news as earth-shattering.

When he was six years old, he had been watched by an older woman who he had affectionately called Granny. One morning he had woken up to find that she had died sometime during the night. Waking up next to a cooling corpse with no frame of what had happened was earth-shattering. It brought with it the feeling that this was truly the end. There was no moving forward. Up until that point she had been the only caretaker that he had known. He hardly knew the basics of taking care of himself, and now he was on his own. That was what earth-shattering felt like.

No this felt like someone had pulled the tablecloth off in a flourish, only the plates and cutlery came crashing to the ground. Life had been a beautifully set table. The dishes had been porcelain with ornate designs. Truly one of a kind. The cutlery had been pure silver. They had been meticulously polished. The wine glasses were crystal, the kind that would sing if you ran your damp finger around the rim. Now, all the splendor was ruined. It sat in shards at the feet of the guest. And the man who ripped away the tablecloth in the first place simply turned away uninterested.

This is how it felt to learn that Killua had been named heir to the Zoldyck family.

He had questions, but looking around the room he could tell that he was not the only one. No one wore the shock on their face, but he had grown used to reading body language. He could see the subtle tensing of shoulder muscles. The littlest twitching of fingers. This had not been an expected change.

Illumi had been training for sixteen years to be the next leader of the Zoldyck family, and the honor had gone to a four-year-old who still split juice because he drank it too fast. Killua was a prodigy, but that didn’t mean he deserved this title. Not while Illumi was still living.

If Illumi had died, Hisoka could understand. Milluki wouldn’t be able to lead the family. He hadn’t even left the house since he had turned ten, but currently, Illumi was alive. Not only alive but thriving. He had people who requested him specifically for jobs. He had a perfect record of jobs being completed precisely to specifications. There was no reason for this.

Hisoka had to focus on the scent of broth warming on the stove in the nearby kitchen to keep him grounded. If he slipped even a little bit, this whole room would be able to feel his bloodlust. He could feel his irritation rising as people in the room kept glancing at him. Their eyes dart over so fast that most people wouldn't have noticed. Hisoka was not like most people. It wasn’t a secret that Illumi was his favorite Zoldyck. It wasn’t against any rules to have a favorite, although it was highly discouraged to have any form of emotional attachment to the family. Everyone had a member that they preferred for their own selfish reason. Although he doubted anyone of them had the same connection to their preferred member that Hisoka had with Illumi.

When they were dismissed, Hisoka did not seek out Illumi. He wanted to. He had a desperate desire to understand why. There was so much that butlers were not privileged to know, and Hisoka was going to get his answers, but now wasn’t the time. Illumi was likely expecting him, anticipating an interrogation, and Hisoka despised being predictable.

When it was closer to night, Hisoka wondered closer to the main estate. He rarely went inside, but he spent a lot of time walking the perimeter. When he approached the east wing he looked up, not surprised to see Illumi peering out the window down at him. He was good as good at sensing his presence as Hisoka was at sensing his, but this was different. It was almost as if Illumi was waiting for him. Hisoka tilted his head towards the forest before heading off. He didn’t wait for a sign from Illumi. He would come.

Illumi looked as perfectly put together as always. A trait he inherited from his mother. A trait that Killua simply didn’t have. Even when he was younger Illumi prided himself in presenting the image of a perfect Zoldyck. Perhaps it comforted him, gave him a feeling of belonging. Killua valued individuality. Even at four, he didn’t want to be part of a collective.

“Say what you want to say,” Illumi said. He already looked like he was tired of the conversation and it hadn’t started yet.

There were so many questions buzzing through Hisoka’s mind, but he opted to start with the one that Illumi wouldn’t be expecting.

“How are you feeling?”

Hisoka smiled when he saw the hesitation flit across Illumi’s face.

“I am perfectly fine.” His voice was steady, but Hisoka ignored his tone. It wouldn’t tell him anything that he wanted to know.

“You’re disappointed," he ventured a guess.

“That is not what I said,” Illumi replied. “If you referring to the news that I am not the heir, I mean it. I’m fine. I had known this was a possibility for a while.”

“That you would be replaced by a toddler?” Hisoka asked incredulously.

“Killua has all of the Zoldcyk traits. He is far more powerful than I was at that age. He is going to grow into something special. I’m perfectly fine with stepping down as heir because Killua is what is better for the family.”

“You can understand the reasons and still be disappointed. You devoted your life to your family and they betrayed you.”

Hisoka watched Illumi make a fist at his side, quickly relaxing again. Hisoka knew how to get him to react and it was clear Illumi did not want to give him that pleasure.

“They didn’t betray me. You act as if they dangled something shiny in front of me and ripped it away before I could grab it. I am not you, Hisoka. I know my place. If Father believes that Killua is the best choice for heir then I feel nothing but joy at the new appointment.”

Hisoka hummed. The worst part about it was that Illumi was telling the truth. He had hoped that Illumi would be upset or at the very least disappointed, but his words were genuine. It made Hisoka’s stomach turn. If it had been anyone else, Milluki or Killua, they would’ve thrown a fit. They would be shouting about how unfair it was. They would not quietly step aside and let this happen. Illumi was different. He would never find himself good enough. Of course, he wasn’t surprised by the news. It confirmed what he had told himself all these years.

“I probably know more about the history of your family than you do. I am not joking when I say it has been beaten into me. Zeno and Silva were not only children. When the Zoldyck heir believes they’re ready to take over the family, they kill their siblings. They make sure that no one will ever be able to challenge their claim, and if their predecessor doesn’t willingly step down, they kill them too.” Hisoka said. Illumi didn’t look surprised by this. It wasn’t a common fact, but no doubt one that he had already known.

Illumi loved his brothers. Would he have ever been strong enough to kill them? Hisoka had no doubt that he would one day have the raw power to take down Silva, but would he have the resolve to take out the people he cared most about in this world? That Hisoka was unsure about.

“I don’t care about Killua,” Hisoka said honestly. “That may change in the coming years, but when it comes down to it, I am sworn to protect you. I’d rather not have you killed by someone else.”

“You are sworn to protect my family. If Killua attempts an attack, you are not to interfere. I won’t make it easy on him. I will not lay down and die.”

Something akin to disgust tore through Hisoka that the thought of Killua fighting Illumi to the death. The wasn't a fight Killua should get to have.

“I would gut him like a fish if he tries,” Hisoka told him, no hint of playfulness in his voice.

Illumi’s blood lust seemed to blast from him in a dark aura. This probably wasn’t good. There was no way other people didn’t sense it. Still, Hisoka didn't regret the words that caused it. How could he when it felt so good? He shuttered a bit, the feeling of being the target of Illumi's bloodlust for the first time making him feel almost lightheaded in excitement. If they were caught now, well frankly Hisoka would be embarrassed.

“You are mine Illumi. Either I will kill you or you will kill me. No one else is getting that pleasure. If your precious little brother wants a piece of you he will have to go through me, and I can promise you he will not win," he continued, stepping confidently into dangerous territory.

“If you want me to kill you, you are on the right track.” Illumi stepped closer and Hisoka let himself be backed against a nearby tree. He could feel Illumi's body heat, feel his breath as he spoke.

“It's not time yet, my dear Illu, you have some time yet until it would be an even fight. But I appreciate your enthusiasm.”

“You disgust me,” Illumi spit out.

“Yes, but you must admit, it's more than you feel for anyone else.” Hisoka pushed himself away from the tree just a bit so that he was practically pressed against Illumi. Illumi's anger wavered just slightly. A testament to the truth in Hisoka’s words.

“You will accept Killua as the heir as I have or I will make sure that you are given the most mundane job on the estate,” Illumi threatened, knowing exactly what would cause Hisoka the most pain. “If I hear a single rumor of complaint-”

“You may think me a fool, but I am not stupid. I would not have survived as long as I have if I didn’t know how to lie properly. I wouldn’t dare voice my protest. Now are you going to hit me or are you just going to be a tease? I know you can feel how excited I am right now.” It was certainly obvious, the way his erection was pressed against Illumi's thigh.

When Illumi didn’t pull away immediately, Hisoka raised an eyebrow. There was no sign that he was preparing an attack, but he allowed Hisoka to stay in his personal space. Finally, after several beautiful seconds, Illumi stepped away, turning his back to Hisoka.

“I never asked for your loyalty. I don’t expect it, and yet you are obviously more bothered by this news than I am,” his voice was steady, but there was a hint of confusion there. Did Illumi really not understand why Hisoka was bothered?

“Of course, you’re my favorite. It is an insult to you, which in turn is an insult to my taste.”

Illumis's head snapped around and he looked at Hisoka, his eyes wide. The tips of his ears were pink and just like that Hisoka was reminded of Illumi from a few years back. The boy who had accepted that he would never be anyone's favorite. He composed himself quickly.

“I need to go back to the estate. It’s nearly Kalluto’s bedtime. Mother has spoiled him more than the others. He cries whenever she’s not with him, but he has decided that I am a suitable substitute. You should get back to work.”

Hisoka smiled. There was his answer. No, he didn’t think Illumi could kill his siblings. Not when he practically raised them. These little boys didn’t know how lucky they were. Unlike Illumi, they would grow up knowing without a doubt that somebody thought they were important.

He leaned in, slow enough that Illumi could back away if he wanted, but he didn’t. He kissed the top of Illumi’s head.

“Go then. You may not be the heir, but you’re still the oldest. I’m sure you still have plenty of responsibility. The next time I go out I will bring you back something as an apology for upsetting you.” He promised.

“I don’t want any of your trinkets,” Illumi replied. He put his hands in his jacket pockets and walked back to the estate. Hisoka stuck around just long enough to watch him go.

Chapter Text

Hisoka watched as his breath rose from his mouth like smoke, the chill in the air making it visible. His hands were shoved deep into his pockets to protect them from the chill. Hisoka had never been particularly fond of cold weather. The beauty of seeing snow for the first time as a child was quickly shattered by the realization that snow came with a damp frigid companion. When you lived on the streets, the cold was a fearsome enemy, one that was far harder to fight. He had seen many people with blackened fingers and toes from a long night outside.

He had just finished another collection. This one had been exciting, but not because of the client. He was another spineless fool who thought they could sneak by without proper payment. Hisoka hadn’t even needed to threaten the man. His presence a lot was enough to get him to fold. He meant nothing to him, but his bodyguard on the other hand... She was a hunter.

Hisoka didn’t know much about hunters, other than what the general public seemed to know. What he found important was the difficulty of obtaining a hunter’s license. The test was said to be the most difficult in the world. To have a Hunter’s License meant that one was not only strong but clever.

She was certainly beautiful, in her early thirties maybe, although age was hard to predict with nen users. For all he knew she could be pushing sixty. She had no true loyalty to the man. She only did what she was paid to do. She had a serious face, but when Hisoka met her eyes he saw something playfully intriguing there. He had let his eyes roam over her body in a way he knew was obvious. She looked strong. It wasn't just the cut of the muscles, but the way she held herself. Like she was ready to react before Hisoka could even think of making a move. It was more than that. She didn't look ready to protect, the way one would expect of a bodyguard. She looked ready for a fight. When their eyes met again, Hisoka grinned. Instead of rolling her eyes, she returned the favor. There wasn't anything shy about it. She was looking at him like she was going to eat him alive and then make him say thank you. Hisoka was nothing if not polite, but that didn't mean he was going to submit, not without a fight at least.

He wasn’t sure when she got off work, or if she would have to follow her client home, but Hisoka found himself waiting nonetheless. He was leaning against the wall in an alley next to the highrise waiting.

“Are you coming then?” He heard a firm voice call for him. His smile widened.

He pushed off the wall and trailed after her.

“I could feel your desire,” she said. “You were itching for a fight back there, weren’t you?”

“Guilty, you made no effort to conceal your nen. It was as if you were inviting trouble.” He replied.

“Perhaps I was. I’m not sure why the old man even bothers with bodyguards. Since I started I haven’t had a single fight. It’s so-”

“Boring?” Hisoka was in front of her now.

“Exactly,” she smirked at him. Her lips were a deep shade of merlot. She didn’t look dressed for a fight. The dress she wore hugged her body, leaving nothing to the imagination. Perhaps that was because her fighting style didn’t require much movement or maybe she was confident in her ability to end a fight with minimal effort. Either way, Hisoka’s body was humming with excitement.

She extended her arm, allowing it to hover next to the wall to her right. She activated her nen and the bricks began to part.

“I don’t normally bring men home so quickly, but you interest me.”

“I promise, I won’t judge you for being so forward.”

If this was where she lived, Hisoka would be surprised. Instead of seeing a bedroom, or even a living room, all he saw was a ring. There was a rope around the outside and reinforced floors in the middle. There was a fridge against the wall and a small storage unit that held a few towels and basic first-aid equipment.

She tossed her blazer aside and kicked off her heels. She ran a hand through her short blonde hair, pushing it back from her eyes, and gave him a come get me to look.

Hisoka didn’t need more of an invitation than that. He slipped beneath the ropes into the ring.

“First to draw blood?” He offered.

“I suppose, I usually go until incapacitation, but I have to work tomorrow and I assume you do too, so best keep things casual.”

She was experienced, that Hisoka was sure of. How many men had she brought here? How often did she do this? He wasn’t sure, but she carried herself like a woman who knew exactly how the evening would end.

Hisoka let her make the first move, not wanting to seem too eager. He had been expecting speed, but what he wasn’t expecting was her flexibility. Her limbs moved like they had no limitations. She got the first hit on him when her arm moved past what should’ve been humanly possible.

He felt her fist connect with his abdomen, forcing the air out of his lung. That was going to leave a bruise. The pain radiated from the blow, sending shock waves directly to his cock.

His blow hit her next. His hand connected with the back of her neck, causing her to stumble just slightly. It wasn’t enough to completely throw her off balance and she was able to counter his next move easily.

Hisoka couldn’t remember the last time he had been hit this many times in a fight. It had been years. She had broken his collarbone. He felt it fracture as the bottom of her palm connected. He couldn’t stop the sound that came from his lips. A small gasp, not in pain but in pleasure. He had fallen back, unable to keep his balance, knowing it would be better to fall in a way that didn't lead to further injury than trying to catch himself.

She looked down at him as if she thought she'd win, but Hisoka knew better. As he went down, his hand shot out, his nails sinking into the flesh just below her sternum, tearing down. Her dress fell from her in tatters. Her body was fully on display, but she made no move to cover herself. The gashes he left in her stomach sent rivers of blood sliding down her body. They seem to caress her thighs as they moved. She smiled.

“You win.”

“Closest battle I’ve had in a while.” He confessed, breathing heavier than he usually did after a fight. His head felt light. He couldn't recall ever feeling a blood lust this intense. Or was this normal lust?

“I haven’t lost before,” she told him. “What will you have as your prize?”

His leg looped around hers and he pulled her to the ground, changing their positions. She didn’t try to stop him even though he was sure that she could. His fingers trailed across a rapidly darkening bruise he had left on her chest. He leaned down and licked the blood, enjoying the copper on his tongue before he trained kisses up to her breast.

He took one of her nipples into his mouth, giving himself a moment to savor the sensation. Her hand grabbed his hair and yanked him up so that their lips were together. Just like that Hisoka's first kiss was taken. He opened his mouth to allow her tongue in. He wondered if she liked the way her blood tasted, or if it was simply him that she wanted to taste. Their bodies were pressed tightly against each other. His erection straining against the front of his pants. She was only wearing a thin pair of nude cotton panties now stained red. He could feel how the blood was soaking through them. No, that wetness wasn't the blood. That was her. She was as turned on by the fight as he was.

He could fuck her, right here, both of them still reeling from the fight. He thought about how she’d look, legs thrown up over his shoulders while he pounded into her. He had never had the opportunity before. He should take it. But another image came into his mind instead. Dark hair, not blond, longer but not as long as it should’ve been. A flat chest as opposed to the sizable breasts. Another cock, resting against a set of toned abs. Thinner wrist grasped in his hands, pinned above the other's head.

Illumi. He was thinking about Illumi.

He had pictured fighting Illumi many times, but he had always pictured it leading to death, not to this.

Her hand wormed its way between them so she could stroke his cock through his pants. It was a new sensation, having someone else touch him. It didn’t feel bad, but it didn’t feel right either. His mind was more focused on the realization that he wanted Illumi, truly wanted him more than this very willing woman beneath him.

She must’ve sensed his hesitation. “Don’t worry about being gentle. Anything you want I can take it.” She whispered in his ear.

Hisoka's hand closed around her throat. She didn’t have time to voice a protest, or even react, before he clamped his hand down hard enough that her neck bones shattered, piercing her trachea. She fruitlessly tried to gasp, but it was no use. She died. Her eyes froze open in confusion.

Hisoka pulled himself off her corpse. He didn’t even enjoy her death. He couldn’t, not when he was trying to process the realization that he wanted to fuck Illumi.

It shouldn’t have come as that much of a surprise. Illumi was strong, and Hisoka liked strong. He was also beautiful, with eyes Hisoka could get lost in. Hisoka had seen his perfect fight in Illumi, how had he not thought of this before? He tried to shake off the adrenaline of the fight, trying to see if that would make things clearer, but his erection had already completely gone down.

He took a few breaths, okay. It wasn’t a big deal. He had after all been flirting with Illumi for years, there was bound to be some truth to it. Illumi’s bloodlust certainly got him hard, but there wasn’t anything unusual about that. What was causing Hisoka to pause was that he was pretty sure he’d want to take Illumi to bed, even without the fight. The fight would make things more fun, but it wasn’t required foreplay. No one else had ever made him feel like that.

He wiped the lipstick off and slipped out of the room. He wasn’t sure when, or even if, her body would be found, but it wouldn’t be tracked back to him. Good, then he wouldn’t have to explain himself.

He went straight back to the estate, ignoring the hotel reservation that had been made in his name. It wasn’t a long journey butt was nearly 3:00 am when he got back. He pushed open all 7 of the testing doors without so much as a second thought. Desperate to be back in his own bed.

“You’re home early.”

Hisoka bit back a curse as he was startled. Illumi gave him an amused look. It wasn’t often he was able to sneak up on Hisoka, but tonight he was lost in his thoughts. Illumi must’ve sensed him, Hisoka would be surprised if the whole estate didn’t know he was back. His own nen seemed to be leaking out of him in waves, his turmoil on a bigger display than he would’ve liked. Illumi was dressed in his night clothes. He had no doubt snuck out to intercept Hisoka.

Illumi’s face dropped into a small frown. “You’re hurt.”

Hisoka hadn’t changed like he was supposed to, the shirt he wore was cut into a v-neck and his broken collarbone had caused a dark bruise to form.

“I’ll be healed up by tomorrow,” Hisoka said. “I’m sorry I didn’t bring you back a treat this time.”

“You’ll just have to bring me back two next time,” Illumi replied.

Hisoka smiled, softer than he usually did. If he kissed Illumi right now, what would he do? He had kissed his head a few times in teasing, but he hadn’t gotten anything close to the real thing. It would feel better than when that woman had kissed him. Hisoka was certain of that.

No, he wouldn’t kiss him. As fun, as it would be to see Illumi’s reaction, he found himself nervous for what might’ve been the first time. Nervous because he didn’t know how he wanted Illumi to respond. Would he be satisfied, really satisfied, if the response was just a punch? Until he knew what he wanted he couldn’t do anything. Illumi had unknowingly put him in check.

“Next time I’ll bring you three,” he promised.

Chapter Text

Hisoka didn’t do favors. That was a widely known fact among the butlers. While most tried to help each other out the best they could, Hisoka would never offer his time to anyone. One could try to ask him, but he wouldn’t say yes unless he thought it was worth his time, which it so rarely was.

Hisoka blinked at the man in front of him. He looked rather desperate. No, he didn’t just look desperate he was desperate, otherwise he wouldn’t be going to Hisoka.

Hisoka didn’t have an assignment at the time, he had planned to spend the majority of his day wandering around the estate, maybe spending some time with Mike, but this man had other ideas. He wanted Hisoka to do his job for him. That was simply unacceptable. Hisoka never asked anyone else to do his job, so why would someone else assume he could do theirs?

The man, Judas he was pretty sure his name was, was trembling. He reeked with fear, which would be exciting if he wasn’t so annoying. People like him had come to Hisoka before, usually when they were tasked with feeding Mike. Most were terrified of the beast, and they knew he adored Hisoka, but Judas wasn’t assigned to Mike. He typically worked in the mansion. So why would he need Hisoka?

“So what it is you want me to do exactly?” Hisoka asked, already bored with this conversation.

“I-I don’t know exactly,” the other stammered. “All I know is that everyone else who had been assigned to watch over Master Alluka hasn’t come back.”

That caught Hisoka’s attention. Alluka was somewhat of an enigma. A perfectly happy and healthy child until one day he was locked away. They never received an announcement on why. He knew the child wasn’t dead because a funeral would’ve been held. Some sort of illness was the most logical conclusion, maybe something that was contagious and strong enough to kill quickly. Alluka was a Zoldyck and that meant having an iron-strong immune system. Maybe he had been able to keep it at bay, but that was all he could do.

If others vanished after taking care of him, they probably caught whatever he had and couldn’t fight it. What risking his life worth finding out the truth about what happened to Alluka?

Yes, it sounded exciting. It was unlikely that Hisoka could be killed by whatever he had.

“Very well, where should I go?”

He was given a careful set of instructions. It sent him to a part of the mansion he didn’t even know existed. As he walked there, the butlers he passed eyed him with something like pity? It made him roll his eyes.

The wall slid open and a colorful room revealed itself. As soon as Hisoka stepped inside the wall slid closed. There was no obvious way out. This wasn’t a room, this was a cell. Hisoka felt his shoulders tense. He didn’t like being caged in.

“Oh! Hello! Are you my friend for the day?” A little voice asked.

Hisoka looked over at the large stack of stuffed animals to see Alluka. His hair had grown out, choppier and less kept than Illumi’s had been. He also wore a frilly yellow dress. Or perhaps...

“Yes, I am Hisoka and you must be Master Alluka, or is it Lady Alluka?” He asked.

Alluka seemed to think for a moment. “I think Lady, like mother, is called.”

So the Zoldyck’s weren’t blessed with all sons. One would think Kikyo would be relieved by this. She always did enjoy dressing up her sons, poor baby Kalluto seemed to get the brunt of it right now, but he had seen images of Illumi when he was younger.

Alluka looked healthy, no sign of distress or fatigue. Hisoka wasn’t a doctor, but his basic medical knowledge told him that she was fine. She was just a prisoner here.

“Braid my hair,” she said, sitting on the ground, her back turned towards him.

Hisoka chuckled. She was trapped, but she was still spoiled. He sat cross-legged behind her, working a braid into her hair. He hadn’t braided in some time, and it was clumsy at first but the muscle memory returned to him, and she ended up with a halfway decent braid, secured in place with a small elastic. Hisoka even added a ribbon. Alluka squealed in delight.

“I love it!” She exclaimed. “Now we can have our tea party. You set up the tea.”

Hisoka stood up, towering over the little girl. There was a small area in the room to prepare food. Nothing close to a full kitchen. Just a little sink, a pantry full of easy snacks, and a small fridge with a microwave resting on top. This wasn’t going to lead to good tea, but he doubted Alluka would know the difference. If she was anything like Illumi she would add so much sugar that she wouldn’t be able to taste the tea anyway.

He heated a cup of water in the microwave and used it to make a pot of black tea. Once everything was made he sat it on the table that was already set with cups and plates. Alluka sat in one chair, two stuffed animals joining her at the table. There was one seat open, assumably for Hisoka. It was a child's seat and he was just over six feet tall. That wouldn’t work. He moved the chair to the side and sat on the floor, still perfectly able to reach the table.

“Now pour the tea Hisoka,” she beamed. He served her the tea first, even giving each stuffed animal some tea before pouring himself a cup.

The atmosphere in the room changed almost instantly. It felt heavy. Anxiety spiked through Hisoka’s veins, a response to the sudden change. It had been a long time since he felt like this, like prey. The hair on the back of his neck was standing at attention. His instincts screaming at him to run.

He looked up at Alluka, ready to have her hide while he dealt with whatever made its way into her room, but he got his answer.

She stared at him, eyes completely black. It wasn’t like Illumi’s eyes. They were deeper voids. There was no emotion there. Nothing hidden to be found. Just darkness.

Hisoka breathed a sigh of relief. He didn’t need the trouble of explaining how he had gotten into a fight in Alluka’s room. At least it was something manageable. Although it did explain the security measures.

Possession was uncommonly rare, but that didn’t mean it was an isolated incident. Hisoka had seen it before in his travels. He had met a woman with a similar infliction in his youth. She had been scary. No, it was more than that, she had been terrifying. Hisoka never found out exactly what had possessed her, but she often ate her meat raw, if not still bleeding. People stay as far away from her as possible. Naturally, this made Hisoka want to be closer.

She tolerated him at best. She was lonely, and Hisoka didn’t talk to her like she would kill him if he stepped out of line. In exchange for his friendship, she had taught him how to read people. How everyone had tells to indicate whether or not they were lying, or if they had something valuable on them. Eventually, she was killed, after she had finally ventured on to eating human meat. It had been a shame.

Possession was a tricky thing. Not much was known about it, and people tended to be frightened of what they didn’t know. So that’s why she was here locked up, they were afraid of her. Even someone as strong and powerful as Silva was afraid of something.

“I didn’t know we had another guest at this tea party. I would’ve brought another cup of tea. What is your name?” Hisoka asked.

“Nanika,” she responded slowly

“It is nice to meet you Nanika,” he replied.

She looked at him like she was waiting for something, but he didn’t know what she was waiting on. He had done something to make her appearance, but he wasn’t entirely sure how to make her go away.

“Hisoka,” Nanika said, staring at him still.

“That is me.” There was something unnerving about hearing Nanika say his name.

“Wish.”

“Oh, I’m supposed to make a wish?” Hisoka said. She nodded.

He thought for a minute. If she was truly from where he assumed she was from, Hisoka could wish for anything. There were very few limits as to what actual magic could do, but Hisoka had always fancied himself a magician. He mightful become one had he not accepted a role as a butler. He wasn’t fond of the idea of using someone else’s magic.

Besides, there was nothing that he wanted that he wasn’t willing to work for. To have something handed to him would be so boring.

“Let’s see. Can I have a deck of cards?” He decided.

“Kay,” Nanika replied.

In the center of the table now set a pristine deck of cards. They didn’t like anything fancy. There wasn't any nen that he could sense that would imply they were cursed. They were just a normal set of playing cards.

“Ah! Perfect, now I can teach you all of my favorite games. I was woefully unprepared when I came here.”

Alluka blinked a few times, returning back to normal. “Huh? Games?”

“That’s right, I’ll show you my favorite ones and then teach you some ones you can play by yourself.”

“You mean I’ll get to keep the cards?” Alluka asked.

“Of course, I have so many decks of my own, but I wanted you to have one too.”

Alluka’s face was shining so bright Hisoka was surprised there wasn’t any actual light coming off of it.

He spent the rest of his day playing cards with her. She caught on quickly. Physically she was a normal little girl. She seemed to have been spared the training the rest of the Zoldyck children endured, but she was clever in her own way. An act like hers would’ve gone well in a performing troupe like the one Hisoka used to travel with. If she hadn’t been born a Zoldyck, she could’ve been free.

Hisoka felt a twinge of sadness, but it dissipated quickly. He felt bad for the girl, but not so bad that he would risk his own position to help her out. If Silva wanted her locked in here, he wouldn’t argue, at least not for now.

Their time came to an end and Hisoka had indulged her in a hug. The wall slid open and he was able to leave.

He was halfway back to his room when he felt the overwhelming malicious presence coming straight for him.

He dodge to the side right as three pins lodged themselves into a tree.

“Ah, Illumi, what do I owe the pleas-ah!” Illumi’s hand caught him in the stomach.

He hadn’t been expecting a fight to round out this very exciting day, but he’ll take it. He blocked the next few attacks before catching Illumi with his own blow. He went flying backward, but Hisoka’s bungee gum caught him before he could hit a tree.

“You shouldn’t have been there,” Illumi said, angry lacing his voice in a way Hisoka had never heard before.

“What?” Hisoka frowned. “Oh, you mean Alluka. You are so protective of your siblings Illu. I promise I didn’t do anything unseemly.”

“You were not supposed to be there. Why were you there?” He demanded.

“The person who was supposed to be there didn’t want to do it. So I stepped in. You really should be saying thank you.”

“It is dangerous. You shouldn’t have been there.”

“It...Wait, do you mean Alluka?” Hisoka asked, looking at Illumi incredulously. He was used to Illumi's attachment to his siblings. He tried to keep Hisoka separate from them at all times. Privately, Hisoka thought Illumi was worried that he may like one of them better. That was ridiculous of course, no one could replace Illumi. But this time, it was almost like Illumi was worried about him.

He had understood Silva and Kikyo’s fear of their daughter. They were so set in their ways, but Illumi. He had been almost certain the love he had for his siblings would triumph over any stupid fear.

“We don’t know how it operates. Milluki has been conducting experiments, which is why we send in expendable butlers. That does not include you. I’ve made sure that you are to be let nowhere near it.”

“She is a child, hardly scary,” Hisoka said, his voice firm. “You are revealing yourself to be a sheltered little boy once again, Illu. She might be frightening to you, but it was not the first possession I’ve seen and she was hardly the most intimidating.”

Illumi faltered slightly.

“Alluka has killed dozens of people,” Illumi said.

“So have I, and so have you for that matter,” Hisoka argued. “Your parents don’t like that they can’t control her, do they? Not like they can control you.” He reached out to tuck a strand of hair behind Illumi’s ear. Illumi caught his wrist, breaking it in his strong grasp.

“It’s so sweet that you care, were you worried about me?” Hisoka asked with a playful grin.

“What did you wish for?” Illumi asked.

“A deck of cards, so I could show your sister how to play. I bet she could beat you at rummy.” Hisoka replied.

“You know you could’ve wished for anything, right?” Illumi asked.

“Oh Illu, why would I wish for anything when everything I want is right here,” he flitted his eyes down Illumi’s body. The way the muscles were flexing, and the way he stood, implied he might attack again at any moment. It was so beautiful. It made him swell a bit in his pants. “Now, shall we continue our fight?”

“No, I’m not going to fight you,” Illumi said as he pulled back, leaving Hisoka a little disappointed.

“Really? What if I go visit sweet Alluka again?” He asked.

Illumi’s rage spiked once more and he looked at Hisoka with an unamused expression.

“Okay, okay, I will leave her be. As long as you keep me more entertained than she does, I’ll leave her alone.” He promised.

“I guess I should be thankful you’re easy to entertain.”

Hisoka laughed at that. If only Illumi knew how special he was to hold Hisoka’s attention so easily.

Chapter Text

Hisoka walked through the main estate house with less spring in his step than he normally had. He was exhausted. The kind of tiredness that sunk in so deep it seemed to settle in your bones. His last job hadn’t gone as planned. This time it wasn’t his fault. He had come in calm for once, with no obvious bloodlust, perfectly civil. Truthfully he had never been able to sleep on airships. His last job had given him just enough time to catch a red-eye flight to his next appointment and he was running on 36 hours with no sleep. Doable, but annoying. His target should’ve been grateful that Hisoka was in no mood to play around. He should’ve said thank you. Instead, someone had tipped them off that Hisoka was coming. Ordinarily security detail was fun to fight. This was not ordinary. There were at least fifty people, but Hisoka stopped counting after that. Many of them had nen and all of them were promised a hefty sum of money if they killed the collector. He should’ve just used that money to pay off his debt, then there would’ve been no need for Hisoka to come calling. Instead, he chose to be difficult. By the time Hiksoka was done fighting the wave of attacks, his target had escaped. He was so upset that he kicked a corpse in frustration.

He had never lost a target before. In his years as a butler, no one had escaped him. They either paid or died. It was a wound to his pride that he hadn’t been expecting. To add insult to injury he had to call and explain his failure, which lead to having to meet with Silva.

Once again he was on an airship heading straight back to the estate with no sleep. He wasn’t in trouble, although Hisoka certainly thought he deserved punishment for this one. He just had to give Silva a very detailed recount of everything that had happened. In the end, Silva dismissed him and told him it would be handled.

This just pissed him off more. He didn’t want it handled. He wanted to crush that slimeball of a man that had slipped through his fingers. He had to take a moment outside of Silva’s office to collect himself. If he walked through the mansion broadcasting his bloodlust, Lady Kikyo would get mad and when she got mad she started shouting, and he was decidedly not in the mood.

He wasn’t exactly sure where he had wondered, so deep in his own head that he hadn’t kept track of where he was going. He was lost in his own mind until a sound ripped him out of his thoughts. It was a soft sound. One that he could’ve easily missed. A little gasp like the kind Hisoka found himself making late at night when he took himself in hand. On nights when he was trying to be quiet because the walls in the butler’s quarters were thin and he didn’t need to deal with the consequences of someone else hearing Illumi’s name on his lips.

Illumi. He could feel the other boy’s presence just beyond the door. As if he had been subconsciously drawn to him. Illumi was the one who made that sound.

Hisoka pressed himself against the door, straining to hear more. He couldn’t hear much beyond heavy breathing. Of course, Illumi was so controlled it would take a lot to make him come undone. Another little sound. A higher pitch whine. Hisoka couldn’t take it anymore. He had managed to not push things past his normal amount of flirting. He was fine with filing this memory away for fun later, but if he had to listen to any more he would be able to control himself. But he wasn’t about to let this continue for someone else to stumble upon.

“My my Illumi. I should’ve known you’d be vocal with how high-strung you are.” Hisoka called through the door.

Illumi responded in the form of a small thump, startled by the words. He had been distracted enough to not notice Hisoka’s presence, which was amusing. Usually, Illumi knew he was there even if he was using zetsu.

Hisoka stumbled forward as the door was thrown open. Illumi was standing here, cheeks flushed, in a state of undress but not in the way Hisoka was expecting. He had seemed to have gotten himself caught in a corset, one arm trapped above his head.

“Ah, I see, so you weren’t having fun then?” He replied with an amusing smile. It was an easy mistake thinking that Illumi’s sounds of frustration were sounds of pleasure. Not for the first time, Illumi looked annoyed at Hisoka.

“Get in here and be useful,” Illumi snapped, closing the door behind him with his free hand.

Hisoka had never been in Illumi’s room before. For the most part, it was tidy, with the exception of the bit of his intricate disguise that had been thrown around the room.

There wasn’t any decor. Nothing on the walls, no pictures on his desk. It was exactly what he had expected. What was a bit surprising was the amount of blankets and pillows piled on his bed.

He looked over at Illumi who was impatiently waiting for Hisoka’s help.

“Oh my dear, you’ve gotten yourself all tangled up.”

Illumi huffed and Hisoka couldn’t help but chuckle. He took pity on him and grabbed the top of the corset and helped him wiggle it off, freeing him. Illumi didn’t get flustered much these days, so it was a rare treat.

Hisoka couldn’t help but stare. Illumis was shirtless now, only wearing a white petticoat. He had to take a moment to admire his form. At eighteen Illumi was every bit the perfect Zoldyck the world expected. His abs were perfectly carved into his stomach. His pecs too. It was too easy to assume Illumi was scrawny because he was thin. He was compact and deadly. If Hisoka had to be attracted to anyone, Illumi was a good choice.

Illumi must’ve mistaken Hisoka’s silence as him waiting for an explanation because he spoke.

“The client sent the outfit. I’m expected to wear it to a party tonight.”

“This isn’t the type of outfit one can put on without help. I’m surprised you didn’t know that considering the type of clothing your mother favors.”

"I’ll call for some of her butlers to assist then.” Illumi had already collected himself, his mask perfectly back in place. “You may leave.”

“I don’t think so,” Hisoka replied quickly. “No need to bother anyone else while I’m here. Especially someone who will undoubtedly tell your mother that you needed help.”

Illumi bristled at that.

“Do you even know how to be helpful?” He questioned.

“I am a Zoldyck butler. I have a plethora of skills. Properly lacing a corset is one of those skills.”

“Fine,” Illumi huffed.

Hisoka smiled and took stock of what was around him. “The first issue is that with this outfit you have a top that should go under your corset. Unless you’re planning on forgoing that, which would be quite a choice.”

Illumi didn’t bother responding, he looked around for where he had tossed his shirt, but Hisoka had already plucked it up off the ground. He held out the shirt, letting Illumi put it on. It was a simple black shirt with a high collar made of lace, expensive lace by the look of it.

“Now will you be needing room for breasts under this dress?” It was a valid question. Illumi had masqueraded as many genders with different physical characteristics. He also knew that his nen ability allowed him to change his appearance. Out of all of the physical changes he could do to himself, breasts seemed like one of the least painful. No bones needed to move.

“Not his time. I was told the only disguise I need would be the dress. It’s a masquerade party.”

“I bet he’s a pervert who just wants to see you all dolled up,” Hisoka said, working the lacing on the corset loose so Illumi would actually fit inside.

“Sounds like the two of you would get along. You have a lot in common.”

Hisoka let out a fake fasp. “I’ll have you know I am still virtuous.”

“The concept of virginity is stupid. It doesn’t equal innocent. You are anything but virtuous.”

“I suppose, between the two of us, you are far more innocent.”

He slid the corset over Illumi’s head, adjusting it so it sat correctly on his waist just under his pecs. Once in place, he began working on the lacing, not pulling it tight all at once like Illumi would no doubt try to do. He carefully pulled each string, drawing the corset tighter. It carved out Illumi's already small waist.

“You act as though I am a sheltered child and not a trained assassin.”

“There are many horrors in this world that you have never been exposed to. I’d be happy to show you someday,” Hisoka mused.

Before Illumi could voice his response Hisoka tightened the laces enough that Illumi couldn’t help but gasp.

“Oh, you make the most delicious sounds~”

“I’ll kill you,” Illumi gritted out his threat.

“I love it when you talk dirty, Illu.”

Illumi spun around, pin in hand. Hisoka caught his wrist, blocking the half-hearted attempt. “Careful, we’re not done getting you ready yet.”

Illumi was so expressive tonight, more so than usual. Or perhaps Hisoka had already passed out in his bed and all of this was a beautiful wet dream. Hisoka knew Illumi inside and out. He knew just what to say to elicit a response, but Illumi was still a perfectly trained assassin. He was flawless, but Hisoka knew where to look to find a crack. It was thrilling.

He could tell that Illumi was not happy about his assignment. He would never voice his displeasure. His father knew best after all. Before a mission, Illumi was a picture of perfect zen. He was confident in his ability and had long since outgrown being nervous. This was something different. Hisoka could tell that Illumi was annoyed with the job at hand. It would likely involve seduction, which Illumi found annoying at the best of times, and disgusting at the worst. It was also likely to involve being extra friendly with a handy client. Hisoka wasn't joking when he called the client a pervert.

A part of Hisoka hope that he missed a payment, so he could pay him a visit.

Hisoka stepped back and grabbed the skirt. He slipped it onto Illumi and tied it in place with ties. It flowed out beautifully over the petticoat. All black with silver detailing, Illumi looked like a doll. Perhaps if Lady Kikyo saw him like this, she’d make him dress like this all the time. It would be thrilling if it wasn’t for the lack of Illumi’s freedom.

“Just missing one piece,” Hisoka said, holding up the stockings.

“I don’t need your help with those,” Illumi insisted.

“Are you sure you could find your feet amongst all that dress?” Hisoka asked with a teasing smile. “Sit. Let me take care of you.”

Illumi should’ve protested. Hisoka expected him to, but to his surprise, he sat on the edge of the bed and held one of his legs out for Hisoka.

Hisoka knelt at his feet. Unlike the night he knelt for Silva, Hisoka didn’t feel defiant. At this moment he felt grateful. This was not a display of power and submission, but rather one of trust.

The stockings were plain white and very soft. The ivory color seemed to blend into the creamy pale skin as Hisoka carefully rolled it up Illumi’s leg, securing it in place with the garter belt that was concretely holding some of Illumi’s pins. He wasn’t wearing any fun underwear, just some boxer briefs. This style of dress didn’t need any special undergarments so it looked like Illumi opted for what he felt the most comfortable in. It was a shame. Hisoka would’ve loved to see Illumi in some lingerie.

Hisoka didn’t need to put himself entirely under Illumi’s skirt to put on his stocking, but he did anyway. He didn’t have many chances to be between his legs.

Once the second stocking was clipped in place, Hisoka couldn’t help himself. He had been so well-behaved and he was too tired to ignore the instructive thought floating through his mind. He pressed his cheek against Illumi’s thigh, revealing the soft feeling before pressing a kiss there.

“Hisoka,” Illumi said as a warning that Hisoka promptly ignored. He grabbed each of his thighs and scooted him closer to the edge of the bed towards Hisoka’s face.

Illumi twisted, clamping his legs around Hisoka’s throat, and squeezed. This was not a warning. Hisoka couldn’t breathe. He wasn't sure if there was a way to get out of this position. At least not one he could think of with his rapidly depleting oxygen. This was perhaps the best possible way to die. As he began to grow lightheaded Hisoka felt himself jerk wildly in his suit. For a moment he was worried he would come in his pants.

Before that had a change to happen Illumi pulled back. Hisoka fell to the floor laying on his back. Illumi slammed a foot down on his sternum before he had a chance to catch his breath. He looked up at Illumi, breathless on the ground. His face was flushed, in anger, embarrassment, or excitement, Hisoka didn’t know. Maybe a combination of all three.

Either way, he was beautiful

“You are disgusting.” Illumi hissed.

“If you hated it that much I’d be dead. You held back.” Hisoka replied. His voice horsed from the previous attack.

It was true. Illumi could’ve killed him easily. He had the upper hand, but he didn’t. A part of him must’ve liked it, or at the very least liked Hisoka despite his actions. He liked him enough to keep him alive.

“Is there any other where I can be of service to you Master Illumi?” Hisoka practically purred when Illumi hadn't denied Hisoka's accusation.

“Get the fuck out of my room.”

Illumi hardly swore. That was Hisoka’s sign to fall back. He could ignore it and keep pushing, if he did he may get the fight he dreamed of. One look at Illumi’s face told him no. It wasn’t time. Illumi look indescribable. He wasn’t sure what that look in his eyes was, but now was not the time to find out.

“As you wish.”

He pushed himself up to his feet and slide out of the room.

It was bound to be an interesting party.

Chapter Text

There had been a handful of times throughout his life when Illumi was mad at him. Despite Hisoka's near-constant pestering, it didn’t happen often. Illumi rarely managed to hold a grudge. If someone bothered him that much he usually just killed them. The only exceptions to this rule were his brothers and Hisoka. Each one was dealt with in their own specific way.

For Milluki and Killua, he usually withheld whatever they wanted. It didn’t take them long to apologize, or rather Milluki apologized, Killua would usually wait it out until Illumi folded and gave him whatever toy he wanted. For Kalluto it was usually a gentle scolding. Stern words alone seemed to be enough to make Kalluto express his sincerest apology.

For Hisoka, it was the worst kind of torcher he had experienced since arriving at the estate. He was ignored. Not only did Illumi avoid him and give him the silent treatment, but he also spent more of his free time around his family. It made it nearly impossible for Hisoka to bother him into forgiving him.

Hisoka had snuck into his room and left him a treat, but since the corset incident as Hisoka had dubbed it, Illumi hadn’t even bothered to glance in his direction.

It had nearly been a month and Illumi still hadn’t forgiven him. Hisoka had gone beyond annoyed and was now firmly in the vexed category. He was tempted to take extra jobs to get him out of the estate. Something to keep his mind preoccupied and Illumi out of the corner of his eye. He also considered going back to visit Alluka. That would certainly get Illumi’s attention, although it certainly wouldn’t improve his mood.

Illumi hadn’t looked more bothered than normal, save for that unusual look in his eyes, when Hisoka had left his room that night. He hadn’t even felt his bloodlust. Was he really so bothered that he would ignore him for so long? Hisoka almost felt bad enough to apologize. Almost.

Hisoka had found a bit of sunlight that had broken through the thick canopy of trees and made himself comfortable. He should be doing paperwork, but he was too distracted by Illumi to force himself to focus on any boring task. He had brought a small package of cookies, double chocolate chip Illumi’s favorite, in hopes of tempting him to come to talk. Like he was a feral cat and Hisoka was holding a can of tuna.

Hisoka looked off into the woods when he heard a twig snap on the ground. It wasn’t Illumi. He wouldn’t have made a sound. He had enough time to craft an excuse for why he was there when he saw the source of the sound.

It was Kalluto, the youngest Zoldyck. He looked like a startled baby deer when he locked eyes with Hisoka. Kikyo was fiercely clingy when it came to her youngest child. He wasn’t spoiled like Killua. He couldn’t get away with being loud or unruly. Kikyo treated him almost like a little living doll as if he was an accessory. She hated it when he was too far from her. He was probably exploring new areas, as kids are known to do, and now he was afraid he was in trouble.

“Hello there Master Kalluto,” Hisoka greeted in his kindest voice. “You’re not lost are you?”

Kalluto shook his head. He was shy, but out of all the children he looked the most like Illumi, so Hisoka had a small soft spot for him.

“I see, well I don’t want to interrupt your adventure.”

“What do you have?” Kalluto asked finally finding his voice as he eyed the snack.

“This? Just some cookies. Would you like one?”

Kalluto stepped forward hesitantly. Kikyo would need to let the boy go if he was ever to gain confidence. How was he supposed to become a feared assassin trapped underneath his mother's skirt?

Hisoka held out the package and Kalluto took a cookie and looked at it skeptically before taking a bite.

Hisoka watched as the child’s eyes began to sparkle. He smiled.

“A fondness of chocolate must be a Zoldyck trait,” Hisoka said fondly, primarily to himself. “But keep that treat a secret or we’ll both be in trouble.”

“Okay,” Kalluto promised.

“I need to get back to work now, but you be careful.”

“I will!” He said rushing off back into the first with a renewed sense of excitement.

Hisoka watched him go briefly wondering if he should follow him at a distance. It was a big mountain and Illumi wouldn’t be happy if his little brother got lost.

All Zoldyck children were sent out for survival training and butlers were instructed to not interfere, but Kalluto hadn’t done that yet. Unlike with Killua, they’d probably wait at least another two years before sending him out.

No, Kalluto would be fine. He chose to explore so he could deal with the consequences. If he did get lost, someone would find him. He needed a chance to learn after all. Besides Hisoka really needed to get his work done before he had to sit through another lecture.

Hisoka stood up and stretched, wincing as he suddenly felt a sharp pain in the back of his neck. He touched it slowly expecting to find a bug, but instead finding a small dart. He pulled it out and looked it over. It had been a long time since anyone had been able to surprise him. It would take someone with great skill to shoot him with Hisoka sensing their presence. He was immune to most poisons, but this didn’t feel poisonous. He found himself growing drowsy fairly quickly, his whole body growing sluggish. Ah yes, Kalluto never was far from his mother.

His last thought before he could no longer fight sleep from taking him was that he was in trouble.

When Hisoka woke up he was on his knees, a position he was really coming to dislike. His chest was laying flat against some wooden structure. His arms were held in place above his head by metal clasps that were digging into his skin. His left shoulder had been dislocated and was currently throbbing with pain. He wasn’t sure how long he had been out, but the fingers on his left hand had gone numb. His head was covered with some kind of hood, but more importantly, his shirt and jacket had been removed. Thankfully his pants were still on.

It was cold and the air smelled musty. All at once he knew where he was. The Zoldyck estate basement, better known as the training room. Although training was hardly what happen here though. It was for torture. Being able to withstand torture was an important part of training, Hisoka couldn’t argue with that, but no other training was done here. It was simply a place for pain. He couldn’t help but think about how young each of the Zoldyck children was the first time they were brought down here by none other than their own mother.

Speaking of Lady Kikyo, he could feel her presence in the room with him.

“I know you’re awake. I gave you enough tranquilizer that any normal man would be dead. You managed to shake it off in three hours. It’s disappointing, our best butlers can be awake again in two.”

“I’ll strive to do better next time.” He replied, his words coming out more slurred than usual confident tone.

He felt the blow coming before he was actually hit. The whip snapped against his skin, sending small shockwaves through his body. It was a clean hit. She was a professional after all. Hisoka had never had the pleasure of watching her work. Typically butlers handled the punishment on their own. The family only handled punishment in special circumstances. Hisoka felt so important.

“What was in the treat you gave Kalluto?” She asked.

Hisoka huffed, so that’s what this was about. If she was willing to torture him because he gave Kalluto a cookie, what would she do if she knew about all the treats he had given Illumi? Probably kill him.

“A lot of sugar I’d imagine.”

Another snap, this one was followed by an actual shock. An electric whip, fun.

“Don’t get smart with me. If I find out you tried to hurt my baby, I will slowly take you apart.”

“I would never do anything to harm a member of the Zoldyck family.” It wasn’t a total lie. He would never try to poison one, they were immune to most poisons anyway. It would be a waste of time. Still, he would never do anything so underhanded, not when they had so much potential. It wasn’t in his nature to be covert. “The only thing I’m guilty of is treating Master Kalluto like the child he is.”

Three more strikes, the last one breaking skin. He could feel blood begin to trickle down his back.

“Do not coddle my children. I will not have them weak because you want to spoil them.” She could not see the irony in her own words. Her own children were probably confused as to why she screamed and sobbed over the possibility of them getting hurt, only to be the one to cause them the most pain.

Hisoka could feel more wounds open on his back as her assault continued, electricity surging through his body at random intervals. He was glad he favored sleeping on his stomach as this was going to take some time to heal even with nen. He could hear his own blood dripping onto the concrete floor forming a small puddle. He could feel it beginning to soak into the waistband of his pants. It was uncomfortable, but he could take it. What was infuriating was the prickling warmth in his eyes. He hadn’t cried in years and now he could feel tears coming to his eyes against his will. He blamed it on the electric current occasionally coursing through his body. It set every never in his body on fire. It caused his muscles to twitch and jerk, putting additional strain on his already injured shoulder. It was probably what was causing the tears. It didn’t mean it didn’t piss him off.

It was impossible to tell how long it had been since the punishment started. It had been some time since Hisoka had experienced this level of pain. His tolerance for pain had always been high, but it had only improved since starting work at the estate. Hisoka remembered when he was around five and he was caught stealing. It was just a small loaf of bread. He hadn't eaten in days, but there was no sympathy for street rats. The baker had taken the nearby rolling pin and brought it down on his wrist hard. He had left the shop with no food and a fractured wrist. Looking back, he was grateful that he hadn't broken it. He had seen people with injuries that healed wrong, the strain in their step and their clumsy grip. It made it harder to survive. He learned then the importance of not getting caught. It was a lesson he should've heeded today.

He liked to think he took his punishment with grace. He didn’t cry out despite several screams trying to claw their way out of his throat. Kikyo continued until she was satisfied with her work.

“I’d prefer to kill you, butlers are a dime a dozen,” she confessed. He knew she wasn’t lying. She was known to have the worst temper in the house. Anyone too close to her, when she was in a mood, was liable to be killed. “But my husband is amused by you. He seems to think you still have room to grow stronger. He’s curious to see what you’ll become. It is thanks to my love for him that you get to walk out of here.”

“I’ll be sure to express my gratitude the next time I see him.” He said through gritted teeth. He struggled to catch his breath.

She humphed, not fully satisfied that she didn’t break him.

The cuffs around his wrists released with a click.

“Get back to work.”

Without another word, she left. Hisoka listened to the click of her heels fading away before he pushed himself into a sitting position. He ignored the way his back screamed in protest with every movement and pulled the hood off of his head. He could feel blood soaking through his pants, sticking to the skin underneath. At least the black fabric wouldn’t make it obvious on his walk back.

He took a moment to gather himself before he rolled his shoulder back into place with a sickening pop. He rolled it around a few times, flexing his still-tingling fingers, trying to get the feeling to return. He didn’t want to move, not yet, but he didn’t have much of a choice. Staying here any longer than necessary would make him look weak.

He dressed himself, unable to hold back a wince. His crisp white dress shirt immediately became soaked through with blood. His weighted jacket felt impossibly heavy, especially on his sore shoulder. In truth, he couldn’t recall the last time pain had affected him so much. He had to give it to Kikyo. She knew what she was doing.

He took a few breaths to steady himself, then he walked out of the room with his head held high.

The sun was just beginning to set as he started his walk back to his quarters. It was a seven-mile walk that Hisoka usually found quite relaxing, but now all he wanted was to take a cold shower, not walk through a quickly darkening forest.

By now everyone would know Hisoka had pissed off the lady of the house and he was not looking forward to their judgemental look. He couldn’t blame them. He had done the same thing to others, sending teasing jabs to those who had gotten caught misbehaving. He shouldn’t have been so vain as to think himself above that.

Hisoka paused, cursing his luck out loud. He shoved down his pain and irritation. All he wanted to do was go and nurse his wounds, both the ones to his back and the ones to his pride. He wasn’t prepared for this confrontation, but he wasn’t going to show that on his face.

“Finally coming to say hello?” He asked, forcing his lighthearted smile into place. His lips were dry and the smile pulled them in a way that painfully stretched the skin.

“You’ve been causing trouble,” Illumi accused, sounding irritated with him. He sat on a branch looking down at Hisoka, legs dangling.

He repressed the urge to roll his eyes. Of course, Illumi would choose to blame him. Normally Hisoka would be deserving of that blame, but this time he knew he was in the right.

“Well that’s hardly noteworthy,” Hisoka waived his hand dismissively.

“It is when it involved my mothing,” Illumi replied. “What did you do this time?”

“You don’t know?” This was surprising. Illumi typically knew everything going on when it came to his family. Perhaps Kikyo didn’t want her family to know of her overreaction. Not that Illumi would ever publicly side with Hisoka.

“Are you causing problems to get my attention?” Illumi asked.

Hisoka couldn’t help but laugh. It seemed to spill out of him in an almost bitter way. He had just been tortured and Illumi thought Hisoka did it for him? “You must think pretty highly of yourself to assume I’d do anything specifically for your attention?”

He thought back to their first meeting, the pride that shone in Illumi’s eyes. The little boy with an unearned sense of superiority.

Illumi's brow furrowed at Hisoka's tone. He didn't look convinced. “So touching me inappropriately wasn’t for the sake of getting my attention?” He slid down from the branch landing silently in front of Hisoka.

Hisoka knew he shouldn't let his control slip, but he was tired. He was in pain and he hadn’t even been in a position to defend himself. He had been forced to feel helpless, as he had been as a little boy. He could’ve gotten out of there, could’ve gotten at least one hand free and slit open Kikyo’s throat before he had a chance to hit him a second time, but he didn't. Why? Because he had chosen to be here, chosen to wait for Illumi to be the one to kill him. And now it felt like Illumi thought that decision made him into someone important to Hisoka.

But it did, didn’t it? That was the most frustrating part. For all the blood and pain, nothing was as bad as Illumi pulling away from him. If Illumi wasn’t as invested in whatever was blooming between them, or worse if he didn’t feel it himself, then it meant everything Hisoka did was for nothing. It meant Hisoka would have wasted nearly half his life.

His hands formed a fist at his side as he broke. His heart poured out unstoppable emotions across his face. Illumi stepped back at the sudden flip.

“Let me make one thing very clear. There is only one reason why I do things. Because I want to. I break the rules because I want to do things my way. I kill because I want to test my strength. I became a Zoldyck butler because I wanted to see what I could become and I touched you because I want to know why you feel like, not to get a rise out of you and certainly not for your attention. While you may occupy my mind, you do not command my action. I am my own.”

Illumi opened his mouth to reply but closed it, reconsidering his words. “You wanted to touch me?”

“Want,” Hisoka clarified. No need to lie if he was putting it all out there anyway. If Illumi was going to ignore him regardless then what harm was there in Illumi knowing that he wanted him?

“Ah, I thought...I assumed that it was a joke.” Illumi replied. “I didn’t appreciate the idea of being your punchline.”

Did Illumi really think him so low? Did he assume all of his flirtings had been jokes too? Did he really have no idea how he made Hisoka’s pulse race?

“You are not a joke to me.” He replied.

“You don’t make any sense to me. You are the most illogical person I know.”

The was not Hisoka’s fault. All he did was act like himself. He understood Illumi just find. He had made it a point to. He couldn't be blamed if Illumi didn't put in the same effort.

“Maybe next time you’re confused, ask?” Hisoka suggested. “Instead of assuming I’m being cruel and responding by hurting me far worse than your mother ever could.”

Hisoka walked past Illumi. He couldn’t talk to him. Not now when he felt like he had been broken open. He already said more than he should. Illumi had that effect on him.

“Wait-”

“You want to know what I did to earn your mother’s wrath?” He interrupted, pulling the conversation back into more neutral territory. “I gave little Kalluto a cookie. It turns out he likes chocolate almost as much as you.”

Hisoka kept walking and this time Illumi didn’t pursue.

No one bothered him the rest of the way back. They could probably sense that if they tried to talk to him, Hisoka would kill them. He was angrier than he could remember being, both at Illumi for his false assumptions and at himself for revealing to Illumi that he was bothered. He had just broken his own rule, never show your hand. Torture had made his poker face slip.

He took his time in the shower, waiting for the water to run clear as opposed to pink before he got out. He wiped the mirror clear of steam with his towel, twisting to examine the damage the best he could. It didn’t look like he would need stitches, but it would still take some time before he could move without discomfort. He would manage. They didn’t even look deep enough to scar.

His hand stalled on the handle of his bedroom door. Someone was on the other side. They were using zetsu, but Hisoka could hear them, the gentle sound of intrusion.

It always sounded like...

He wasn’t completely surprised to find Illumi in his room. He was standing by his desk. He was looking at something in his hand.

“You still have this?” Illumi asked looking at the familiar rock.

“Of course, I’m grossly sentimental. Although I know where I keep it hidden. Were you going through my private things?” He teased, sitting on the edge of his bed, wearing nothing but his towel.

Illumi sat the rock down carefully like he also saw it as something precious. He looked over at Hisoka unbothered by his accusation.

“Lay on your stomach,” Illumi told him.

Hisoka gave him an amused smile. Curious to see where this was going, he did as he was told. Illumi pulled something from his pocket and straddled Hisoka’s hips.

“Not that I don’t love where this is going, but-”

“I brought something that should help speed up the healing process. It would be difficult to apply on your own given where your wounds are.”

Illumi’s touch was surprisingly gentle as he began applying the cream. Hisoka didn’t know what it was but it felt cool against his skin. He wondered how often Illumi had done this for his brothers. How he likely never had anyone do this for him. It’s no wonder Hisoka confused Illumi so much. Hisoka was a selfish creature by nature, and Illumi had a tendency to put himself last. Family before everything.

“Hey, Illu?” He said, his voice softer than normal as he relaxed under the skilled touch. “Have you ever done anything selfish? Just because you wanted to?”

Hisoka heard a soft sound. It took him a moment to realize that it was a laugh. He had never heard Illumi laugh before.

“Every time I decide to go see you I am making a selfish choice.”

Hisoka buried his face in his pillow, ignoring the fluttering in his stomach, it was likely a side effect of the cream. He muffled his own laugh. “Yes, I suppose that’s true.”

“There, you should feel less pain. With your nen, you should be fully healed in no time.”

“My sincerest grattitdue.” Hisoka replied as Illumi climbed off of him. He found himself already missing the contact.

“Get some rest. If you can’t go out on assignments you can’t bring me back sweets.”

He spoiled him. Hisoka made him selfish. He was doing exactly what Kikyo was afraid of, and he couldn’t be more proud.

Chapter Text

Hisoka had no reason to be in the Zoldyck mansion. He had no business there. Frankly, his being there was suspicious and if he was spotted someone would alert Kikyo, but he wasn’t worried. Silva and Kikyo weren’t home. It was late. Late enough that Killua and Kalluto would be in bed sleeping. Milluki was in his room as well, distracted by whatever game or anime had caught his attention for the time being. That meant Illumi had no more responsibilities for the night, and Hisoka was bored.

He doubted he’d be able to convince the other to leave the estate, but he had recently acquired a particularly nice bottle of brandy (courtesy of a target who had begged so beautifully for his life) and he wanted someone to share it with.

He wasn’t sure if Illumi could get drunk. Did his poison immunity extend to alcohol? He knew Illumi frequently had a glass of wine with his supper, but what about liquor? It was a fun thought.

Hisoka didn’t try to hide his presence, he simply walked with confidence. No one would question it if they thought he was supposed to be there. Besides, Illumi would be able to sense his approach regardless, so there was no reason. It was better to not catch the other off guard.

Things between them were better. He wouldn't say they were like before because they weren't. Something unspeakable had changed between them. Once something was opened, even if it was closed again, it was never the same. Hisoka had opened himself up to Illumi in a dangerous act of sincerity. In return, Illumi had responded with gentleness. That was something that he rarely even showed his brothers. It was unexpected and Hisoka wasn't sure what to make of it.

After that night Illumi had ceased his avoidance, and Hisoka felt his days pass easier than they had without him. They didn't talk about it. Hisoka never teased Illumi for being selfish and Illumi never threw Hisoka's desires back at him. They had reached a stalemate in their game and neither knew how to proceed. So instead they simply reset their pieces and started from the beginning.

He stopped in front of Illumi’s door wondering if he should knock or let himself in. He did love surprising his dear Illu, but he would likely be in a sour mood if he didn’t knock. He was a stickler for manners.

Before he could make a decision he heard a soft gasp from the other side of the door.

He didn’t think Illumi had a mission to prepare for, and if he did Hisoka would’ve thought he learned his lesson after the last time he got caught up in his particular complicated outfit. There was only one reason why Illumi would make that sound. It slipped out not in frustration, but something much more pleasurable. The only question was was he dreaming or was he touching himself?

As quickly and quietly as he could he slipped out of the house. He knew where Illumi’s balcony was and he was able to get onto it without a problem. This time choosing to mask his presence. If Illumi hadn't noticed him yet, there was no reason to spoil his fun.

He remained still in his new position until he could focus on the sounds coming from Illumi’s room. It was subtle but there was a shuffling sound. The sound of a hand moving quickly beneath his covers. He was awake then and had no idea that he had an audience.

The curtains to his balcony door were drawn closed, but there was still a small gap. It was less than an inch, but it was big enough that Hisoka could peer inside.

Hisoka could feel his heart skip a beat at the sight. He could not describe Illumi as an angel, there was nothing sanctified about him. No, Illumi was something more divine. He was a God, cruel and vengeful. He was unforgiving and dangerous to behold in all his glory. Only a fool would desire the ramifications of trying to place themselves above a god. Fool or not, Hisoka wanted to see Illumi panting and red-faced beneath him. He’d deal with the consequences after.

He let his eye fully adjust to the darkness until he could make Illumi out clearly. Illumi’s hair was spread around him like inky tendrils. His eyes were closed, no doubt lost in some dark fantasy. That wouldn’t do when Hisoka had him. He would make Illumi look at him. He needed to see what his eyes looked like when he was overwhelmed with pleasure. His pale cheeks were flushed a deep scarlet. He was biting his lip, trying to keep those perfect noises from spilling out.

His chest was bare, pajamas stripped off and thrown haphazardly on the floor, a testament to his desperation. Hisoka watched as Illumi brought his unoccupied hand to his mouth. His tongue poked out a bit as he shoved his fingers into his mouth. He pushed them back further than necessary. He was likely hitting the back of his throat but he didn’t gag or even appear uncomfortable. Of course, a perfectly trained assassin like him would’ve rid himself of his gag reflex long ago.

He pulled his fingers out, the salvia glinting in the low light of his room. He brought them to his nipple, brushing them against it hesitantly. He made another small sound, sensitive then. That would be fun to explore. Illumi didn’t twist or punch as Hisoka had done to his own. He touched them gently, rubbing one of the hardening nubs with deft fingers. He squirmed, obviously getting overwhelmed with the sensation. The hand shot back up to his mouth, clamping over it to muffle a full-on moan.

His face was screwed up in concentration as he tried to keep himself quiet. Hisoka wasn’t surprised. Illumi was wound so tight of course he would be literally screaming for release. He couldn’t do it here. He couldn’t risk being overheard. There were butlers all over the estate. Any sign of distress and Illumi's privacy would be compromised. He had no idea that he had someone watching him or that Hisoka would kill everyone on the estate for a chance to make Illumi scream.

Illumis’ thick duvet was still covering him from the waist down so Hisoka couldn’t see how he liked to touch himself. If he liked to swipe his thumb over the head of his cock, or if he liked to squeeze himself. The only thing he could see was the frantic uneven rhythm. He was too far lost in the sensation to have any sense of pattern. He was chasing release by any means necessary.

Illumi’s back arched and he bit his hand hard enough that it drew blood. Hisoka could feel his mouth water, longer for the taste of his blood. Where else was Illumi sensitive? Maybe he’d like Hisoka to bite his neck hard enough to leave teeth shaped bruised, or even better, a scar. A constant reminder of Hisoka.

“Ah,” the sounds still escaped despite his best effort. “H-Hi”

He shoved the blankets down quickly hoping to spare them from the impending mess. It gave Hisoka the most beautiful view of Illumi’s hips stuttered. He thrust his own hand a few more times before-

“Hisoka,” Illumi whispered his name as he came, spilling thick ropes of cum across his stomach.

Hisoka’s first instinct was to believe that he had been caught, but that wasn’t the case, Illumi didn’t know he was there. If he did he wouldn't have allowed himself to come undone quite so thoroughly. There was only one option. He had been thinking about him. Illumi had said his name in a way he had never heard it said before. Like it was something special. Hisoka was used to someone referring to him in a horrified tone, but Illumi said it like a vow. A promise. Of what Hisoka wasn't sure.

Hisoka felt his brain short circuit for a brief moment, thinking about what it could mean. Was Illumi attracted to him? Did Illumi want him? It was almost too much to bare. His head felt light like he was floating at that moment. Goosebumps covered his arms, despite his jacket protecting him from the chill of the night.

“Hey! What are you doing up there?”

Shattered in an instant, Hisoka looked down at the intruder. Hisoka felt a sharp stab of annoyance. He was only doing his job, but unfortunately for him, he was in the wrong place at the wrong time. Hisoka was far too worked up to let him go. Hisoka appeared behind the other butler. The other tried to speak but found himself choking on his own blood. His throat slit before he could blink. A drop of blood fell from the playing card, hitting the grass beside them. Hisoka’s hand covered the mouth of the other just in case he managed to get any other sounds out. The dying man’s eyes met his. He watched as fear, the last emotion he ever felt, left his eyes, glazing over as he died. That was the final push Hisoka needed to tip him over the edge. Hisoka shuttered as he came.

“Illumi,” he purred in return, wishing he was up there with him and not here with this weakling.

He dropped the man and watched as he fell into a heap on the ground. He’d have to get rid of the body. He’d be in trouble for killing one of their own.

He looked back at Illumi’s balcony. The curtains had been fully opened now and Hisoka could see Illumi standing there wrapped in his duvet. His cheeks were still a touch pink. Hisoka wasn’t sure if Illumi knew he had seen him, but he was certain he had seen Hisoka. He looked down at the balcony, seeing the bottle Hisoka had left behind. The one he intended to share a drink with him from. Oh well, it was a worthy gift. A thank you for the impromptu show.

Golden eyes met black ones and Hisoka winked.

Chapter Text

“Spar with me.”

Illumi lazily opened an eye to look up at Hisoka. He was laying against a tree in a rare moment of relaxation. Illumi had been busy, taking back-to-back contracts in addition to taking over Killua’s training since the young heir had returned from Heaven’s Arena. Hisoka had taken to watching Illumi at a distance, waiting until a moment appeared when they could finally have some uninterrupted time together.

He wouldn’t say he missed Illumi, but his chest did feel heavy if he went too long without bothering the other. Illumi was his main source of entertainment after all.

“No,” Illumi replied, letting his eye fall closed again. “It is my day off. I don’t want to fight on my day off.”

Hisoka often forgot that fighting for Illumi was work. It wasn't something he did for fun. He didn't kill outside of a job and with the exception of training, he rarely fought unless it helped him achieve a particular result. He was a skilled fighter, but the types of jobs Illumi typically handled rarely ended in an all-out brawl. If it did, it was more annoying than it was the treat Hisoka thought it to be.

“A day off, huh? What is that like? Butlers don’t get those, you know?” That wasn't entirely true. It wasn't efficient to make people work 100% of the time, but he was always on call. At any moment he could be called into action.

“And yet I never seem to find you working,” Illumi mused.

“So rude, Illu! Now you definitely need to spar with me." Hisoka pouted at the other.

“I have no interest in sparing with you right now. Go find someone else if you are so insistent,” Illumi dismissed.

Hisoka huffed. He may be an unstoppable force, but Illumi was a stubborn immovable object. Instead of pushing the issue, he sat down on the ground next to Illumi. Just because the other didn't want to fight him, doesn't mean he was going to be rid of him. Hisoka expected a quip, or maybe a shove, but instead Illumi leaned into him, resting his head on Hisoka’s shoulder. Illumi relaxed further. It was rare to see the assassin so at peace. He was constantly on alert, but now he seemed to let his guard down. It was a foolish thing to do, especially around someone as deadly as Hisoka, but he trusted him. Despite his demands for a fight he knew Hisoka wouldn’t attack him. More than that he knew Hisoka would protect him as he rested.

It would be the perfect time to attack. Illumi wouldn’t be expecting it and the resulting surprise would lead to a good fight, but Hisoka didn’t want that. It was a strange feeling to favor inaction. Illumi was good at pulling out weird feelings.

Hisoka couldn’t remember the last time he had been touched so gently. It was probably when he had met Alluka when she had hugged him goodbye. Illumi didn’t have a better history. Now that Kalluto was nearly five, he didn’t get any affection from his brothers. There were a lot of studies about the effects of a lack of human contact. Hisoka had never craved it before. Had that fucked him up? Perhaps. He didn’t particularly care, but this was nice. The weight of Illumi’s head on his shoulder kept him tethered to the moment. He inhaled the subtle scent of eucalyptus and mint from Illumi’s hair.

He slid his hand over slowly. The other flinched slightly when Hisoka’s finger touched his hand, but he relaxed enough to allow Hisoka to take his hand in his. As soon as their fingers were threaded together, Illumi’s grip tightened as if afraid Hisoka would pull away.

His heart was beating hard in his chest. Illumi could probably feel it through his fingertips.

Illumi.

“Mm?” He hummed.

Ah, he had said that out loud. He was so consumed in his thought he hadn’t noticed. It was hard not to be. Illumi’s presence seemed to surround every fiber of his being.

He wanted him. Mind, body, and soul. He wanted him badly enough to give up his freedom. He wanted him for not just what he’d become, but for what he was right now.

Hisoka tilted his head so he could palace a kiss on the top of Illumi’s head.

Illumi opened his eyes, looking at him through his lashes. They held each other’s gaze for a moment, both hardly breathing, afraid to shatter the moment.

It was Hisoka who moved first, tugging Illumi onto his lap. Illumi responded by adjusting his legs so he was straddling him. They were both still for a moment. Illumi looked down at him and Hisoka met his gaze.

“Do you want this?” He asked, cradling the back of his head in his free hand, letting his fingers thread their way through the soft locks of Illumi's hair. Illumi instinctively leaned into the touch.

“If I didn’t, you’d be dead,” Illumi said.

Hisoka knew that. Physically, Illumi could’ve stopped him at any point, but he didn’t. Still, he wanted to hear him say it.

“That is not a yes.”

Illumi rolled his eyes. “Yes.”

Illumi barely got the word would before Hisoka pulled him forward. Something about the kiss was instantly addictive. Like the first drink of cold water after being out on a hot day. Hisoka was overwhelmed and at the same time, he wanted more.

Illumi’s grip tightened on his hand, pulling him closer. They were already pressed together, there was nowhere for Hisoka to go, but he obliged the best he could.

Hisoka had never kissed another person. He had read about it in some of the more mature books he owned, and he heard about tongues wrestling for dominance, but for once in Hisoka’s life, there was no fight. Illumi was clearly the more skilled of the two. Hisoka was content to follow his lead. Instead, he focused his energy on memorizing Illumi’s actions, how they made him feel, and how Illumi responded when he tried to mimic him.

Hisoka remembered that night over a year ago in Illumi’s room, and how he liked to touch himself. Would he like it if Hisoka touched him the same way? Hisoka couldn’t recall a time in his life when he strode to be gentle, but for Illumi he could do that. He trailed his fingers softly down the back of Illumi’s neck and he was rewarded by the feeling of a small shiver.

He wasn’t sure if Illumi was hard, the way he was positioned, he couldn’t feel him. Hisoka was. He shifted a bit, trying to release the pressure of his trapped cock in his stiff uniform pants. Illumi readjusted, pressing his ass firmly against his trapped erection with such conviction there was no way it had been done on accident. His hips began to move with a purpose, giving Hisoka the friction he so desperately craved.

Hisoka made a rather embarrassing noise and he felt Illumi smile into the kiss. He thought about flipping them over so Hisoka could have the advantage, but he didn’t want to lose the feeling of Illumi on top of him. Still, he couldn't fight back the desire to make sure Illumi was just as overcome by pleasure as he was. He needed them on equal ground. He pushed his hand up Illumi’s shirt, ghosting his hand across the other’s nipple.

Illumi gasped, leaning into the touch. It was Hisoka’s turn to smile now. He pushed his hips up into Illumi in time with the other’s movements. Illumi finally let go of Hisoka’s hand, desperate to shove his own shirt up to give Hisoka better access. He pulled away from the kiss and leaned back, placing both of his hands on the ground behind him to keep him balanced as he continued his movements.

Hisoka took in the sight of Illumi, flushed and needy. His nipples were pink and erect, standing out against the creamy white skin of his chest. His abs were flexing as he moved his core along with his hips.

“Beautiful,” Hisoka breathed out the compliment. His own lips felt swollen as he spoke, and still damp from the kisses.

“You can’t fuck me,” Illumi told him. “I leave for a mission tomorrow.”

“When you get back then,” Hisoka insisted. Hisoka had never been so desperate for release before. He enjoyed a good climax, but the build-up had always been part of the fun. Rather than be in the form of masturbation or a fight. Now, all he could think of was cumming and making Illumi come along with him. “For now, I suggest you get your clothes off if you don’t want them torn to shreds.”

“How thoughtful,” Illumi rolled his eyes, but pulled off his shirt. His hair sticking up, charged with static electricity. He put his hands on the lapels of Hisoka’s jack, shoving off the garment the best he could with the tree to Hisoka’s back. Hisoka pulled Illumi in so that he could kiss the other’s neck.

“If I left a mark, could you hide it with your needles?” He questioned between kisses. He nipped softly at the spot where his neck met his shoulder.

“Do not leave a mark.” Illumi threatened, grabbing a hand full of Hisoka’s hair to pull his face away. He stared into Hisoka’s eyes, his malice muted by his own desperation. Hisoka only smiled in response.

Illumi began to pull away and Hisoka whined as he lost contact. Illumi pulled something from his pocket and it wasn't until he began gathering his hair did Hisoka realize it was a hairband.

“Do not pull my hair,” Illumi told him. “If you do, I will stop.”

“Stop what?” Hisoka questioned. Illumi responded by undoing the button on Hisoka’s pants, pulling them down. Hisoka lift his hips to help him as he worked them down just enough to free his cock. He could see Illumi looking at the mark that sat on his hip, perfectly healed into a pink scar. Hisoka almost commented on it, some joke that would cover Hisoka's disdain for the mark of ownership, but before he could Illumi leaned down. He ran his tongue up the underside first before giving it a few more long licks. When Hisoka's cock was covered in a thin layer of spit he finally took just the head into his mouth. He sucked, wrapping a hand around the base before he began to stroke him.

Now Hisoka understood the need for the warning, as his fingers gripped the ground so hard that they buried themselves in the dirt. He could feel Illumi’s tongue occasionally swiping at the slit as he sucked, each time sending pulses of pleasure through his body. Hisoka fought the urge to close his eyes, not wanting to miss a moment of the scene before him. Illumi looked almost serene. Hisoka’s mind was racing, overwhelmed with new sensations, but Illumi seemed so grounded.

His hand motion stopped as he began to bob his head, taking a little more of Hisoka’s cock in his mouth each time. If fucking felt half as good as this, Hisoka was going to make sure he could take Illumi into his bed as soon as possible. It took all of Hisoka’s control to not thrust up into the other’s mouth. He knew Illumi could take it. He had seen how far back he had shoved his fingers, but it seemed like a rude thing to do.

Hisoka felt lightheaded as if all of his life energy were being drained of him. First from his head, then his fingers and toes. All felt like dead weight as his soul no doubt came out of him as he orgasmed. Illumi was skilled, Hisoka hadn’t given him any warning, but through body language alone what was happening. He pulled out, leaving just the head resting on his hand as Hisoka came. He watched as he spilled himself across Illumi’s tongue, feeling half-dead. He died the rest of the way when he watched Illumi purposely swallow him down, tongue collecting a bit that had spilled out the corner of his mouth.

“You taste sweet,” he commented. “Likely because you’re a transmuter.”

There were a million things Hisoka could've said in response to that, but he couldn't think of any of them. Hisoka couldn’t speak, he just sat there staring down at Illumi like he was perfection incarnate.

Illumi cocked his head to the side as he met Hisoka’s gaze. “Is this all it takes to get you to stop talking?”

Hisoka huffed out a laugh. “Your turn.” He said, pushing himself forward just a bit so he could pull Illumi closer.

“It won’t take long,” Illumi unbuttoned his own pants, helping Hisoka pull them down along with his underwear.

“Did you enjoy sucking me off that much?” Hisoka teased. He licked his hand before he took Illumi’s dick into his hand.

“Yes,” Illumi confessed honestly much to Hisoka’s surprise. His hips stuttered slightly, his thighs trembling as he spread them wider.

“Touch your chest,” Hisoka commanded. “Play with yourself for me.”

Illumi shuttered, closing his eyes in embarrassment as he brought his hands to his chest to do as Hisoka commanded.

“Look at me,” Hisoka told him. “You’re eyes are so pretty. I want to see them.”

Illumi hesitated but opened his eyes. As soon as he saw Hisoka, the predatory way he looked at him, he clamped both hands over his mouth, coming into Hisoka’s fist.

Hisoka leaned forward and caught Illumi as he fell back. He pulled this other into him in a hug. They were both sweaty and breathing heavily. Illumi’s cum was starting to dry and soon it would be uncomfortable, but Hisoka didn’t want to let the other go. When he did, the moment would be gone. He couldn’t keep him like this forever, but he would give anything in the world to do so.

He peppered the top of the other’s head with small innocent kisses.

“That’s enough,” Illumi murmured sleepily.

“It will never be enough,” Hisoka told him. Illumi looked up at him with a small pout. Hisoka quickly placed a kiss on his lips as well.

“I will have to shower before supper. Mother always likes to have a big dinner before we go away on long missions.” Illumi said.

“How long will you be gone then?” Hisoka asked, feeling a small tug on his heart. He was so bored when Illumi was away.

“I’m not sure. If all goes as planned two weeks, but if there are complications it could be longer.”

Hisoka frowned. “Let’s hope there are no complications then. I am holding you to your promise.”

“I don’t recall promising you anything,” he huffed in reply.

“Come on Illu, I’m looking forward to spending my first time with you.”

“Your first... you mean you still haven’t...” Illumi trailed off in subtle surprise.

“Mm, nope,” Hisoka replied, playing with a strand of Illumi’s hair. “I almost did once, but I couldn’t. It wasn’t you.”

Illumi tensed slightly in his grip. “Don’t say such embarrassing things.”

Hisoka laughed again, holding Illumi closer still. They couldn’t stay like this for much longer, but for right now Illumi was his.

Chapter Text

Thirty-four days. That’s how long Illumi had been away on his assignment. Hisoka didn’t know exactly what the assignment entailed but he was sure it was important because Illumi hadn’t gone alone. Silva had accompanied him, as did Killua.

Killua was still too young to go on his own assignments, but Silva had started to take Killua out when he had assignments. It was likely an heir thing because Illumi wasn’t going out on missions of any kind until he was ten.

Illumi was probably thrilled to have his darling younger brother along with them. For some reason, unfathomable to Hisoka, Killua was Illumi’s favorite. Illumi had taken over a good portion of the usurper’s training. He was tough on him, but not unnecessarily cruel. Not like Illumi’s own mother was to him. Hisoka assumed Illumi had stepped in to spare his brother from the things he had endured. Milluki was not trained as roughly as Illumi, but Killua certainly would be. Killua had nothing but complaints regarding his training, but he had no idea what horrors he could be enduring instead.

Illumi was also fiercely protective of his younger brother. Illumi tolerated Hisoka’s interactions with Kalluto, provided his mother didn’t find out. But he never allowed Hisoka to be alone with Killua. Illumi needed to be present and Hisoak was expected to portray a perfect Zoldyck butler persona. It was infuriating.

“He’s the heir,” Illumi had told him. “He needs to be treated with a different caliber of respect.”

Hisoka had rolled his eyes. “You have earned my respect, Killua still needs to prove himself,” He responded.

Illumi hadn’t liked that answer, but he hadn’t argued. He was smart enough to know he couldn’t change Hisoka’s mind.

Everyone at the estate treated Killua like he was an assassin royalty, so Hisoka didn’t see why he should as well. The brat would grow up spoiled and entitled if something didn’t occasionally put him in his place.

Still, he would tolerate Killua’s presence if it meant Illumi was back home. Hisoka had kept himself awake half the night imagining what their reunion would be like. Illumi insisted that he hadn’t promised him anything, but Hisoka knew that they were inevitable.

Hisoka had just drifted off to sleep when his mind altered him of the danger. He had grabbed the knife that he kept under his pillow, but his wrist was caught mid-swing. Another hand was pressed over his mouth, keeping him from calling out. Adrenaline was pumping through his veins, but when he saw the beautiful boy above him, he knew he wasn’t in any true danger.

Not knowing what else to do, Hisoka licked Illumi’s hand. The other frowned, pulling his hand back in disgust.

“You are gross,” Illumi told him.

“And yet here you are. Did you just get back?” Hisoka asked. Illumi was still in his traveling clothes.

“Yes,” Illumi replied.

“And the first thing you did was come see me?” Hisoka grinned ear to ear.

“I have spent the last month traveling with my father and brother. I haven’t had any time to myself,” Illumi explained.

Hisoka understood what he was trying to say. He hadn’t had any alone time. Illumi was no longer a teenager, but a month was still a long time to go without touching yourself even at 21. Illumi was just as pent-up as Hisoka was.

Hisoka dropped the knife, reaching up to tuck some of Illumi’s hair behind his ear. “Well, are you going to keep staring at me with those gorgeous eyes or are you going to kiss me?”

Illumi didn’t respond with words instead he leaned forward until they were kissing, a thick comforter separating their bodies. Hisoka relished in the taste of coffee on Illumi’s tongue. Black, no sugar. The kind he drank because of the benefits of caffeine, and not because he enjoyed the taste. There was something else too. Something more bitter than the coffee. It was some kind of poison, but Hisoka could figure out which one because Illumi began trying to push his covers down, trying to get closer. Hisoka began kicking at them, trying to help. Finally, they were able to knock them onto the floor.

“I prefer to sleep naked,” Hisoka explained when he saw Illumi’s surprise to find a fully nude Hisoka. “You’ll need to catch up.”

Illumi sat up, pulling off his shirt, and tossing it onto the floor with the comforter. The pants were a bit more difficult. Illumi’s grace was overshadowed by his own desperation, and he nearly fell when his pants leg got caught around his ankle. Hisoka bit back a laugh, not wanting to give Illumi any reason to change his mind.

Hisoka's skin seemed to burn where Illumi touched him. A perfect warmth that spread through his veins like a lightning strike. Every cell in his body seemed to come alive in pursuit of more of whatever Illumi was willing to give.

He didn’t feel guilty for staring because Illumi seemed to be doing the same thing in return. He took his time, leaning down to pretty feather-light kisses along his jaw and down his neck.

“I thought you said no marks?” Hisoka said softly, as he felt Illumi beginning to suck.

“No, I said you cannot mark me,” Illumi murmured against his neck.

Hisoka huffed out a small laugh. “I see, then do with me what you want.”

“I intend to.”

Illumi attacked him like a man starved. He picked up on Hisoka’s body language quickly. His neck wasn’t particularly sensitive but when Illumi bit hard enough that Hisoka could feel his teeth pierce the skin, he couldn’t keep his back from arching. It would be a shame when he had to cover them up with texture surprise tomorrow.

Where Illumi’s touches were rough and violent, Hisoka’s were soft and gentle. He trained his fingers down Illumi’s spine, tracing each vertebra with care. He ran them over the slight swell of Illumi’s ass and over his thighs.

After a while, Hisoka decided that Illumi had had enough fun. He flipped them. Illumi allowed it, resting his head on Hisoka’s pillow. It was nothing compared to the soft mountain he had back in his own bed. Illumi looked up at Hisoka, a glint of mischief in his eyes. Those eyes called Hisoka out, asking him what he was going to do.

Hisoka might not have had any practical experience, but he had spent enough of his life reading that he had an idea of what was expected of him. Truthfully he was glad Illumi was prepared to take on a receiving role. The whole thing seemed rather vulnerable and Hisoka didn’t know if he was ready for that. Illumi didn’t look vulnerable though. He seemed content.

“Do you have-”

“In the pocket of my pants,” Illumi answered quickly. He had, after all, came with one thing in mind.

Hisoka smiled and pressed a quick kiss to his forehead before leaning over the side of the bed to grab Illumi’s pants. He grabbed a small bottle labeled personal lubricant, already half gone, and a row of five condoms, all connected by perforated edges.

“Expecting a lot of fun?” Hisoka teased.

“I was in a hurry,” Illumi confessed.

Hisoka wanted to poke fun at Illumi’s desperation, but how could he when his own was so painfully apparent? He put the items in a more reachable place before he turned his attention back to Illumi, who was impatiently waiting.

Hisoka kissed him deeply, with more skill than he had any business having. His perfectly manicured nails softly scratched down Illumi’s chest, leaving little pink lines that quickly faded away. He pulled away to kiss his neck, across his collarbones, and down to his chest.

Illumi gasped when Hisoka licked his nipple. He began to suck, enjoying the way Illumi squirmed beneath him. Once he felt he spent sufficient time on one, he moved on to the other. He could feel the way Illumi’s cock jump between them. Hisoka would have to explore this more later. See if Illumi would be able to cum just from having his nipples played with. It was a delicious thought.

He continued to move lower, down his stomach, across his hipbones. He skipped over his cock, instead concentrating on his thighs, ignoring Illumi’s constant shifting.

“Stop teasing,” Illumi snapped softly. Hisoka chuckled against his thigh. He was right, they didn’t have all night. The last time they were together Illumi had blown him, and Hisoka had enjoyed it immensely, but he had something different in mind. He tore one of the condoms free from the row and tore it open. It wasn’t strictly necessary. He was certain Illumi was clean of any STDs and Hisoka was, but he had just returned from a mission. He wasn’t sure if he had gotten much time to clean.

Hisoka had placed the still-rolled condom over his hole and gave it a lick through the latex.

“What are you-ah!”

Hisoka shushed him softly, giving him a stern look. If he was too loud, they would be caught. Illumi covered his mouth and nodded to show he understood. Hisoka went back to work, licking his hole in earnest. Illumi’s legs rested on Hisoka’s shoulders, occasionally tightening. He had to hold back another cry when Hisoka’s tongue went into him, pushing at the ring of muscle. It wasn’t enough to prepare him for his cock, but Hisoka didn’t think Illumi would need much stretching. It was the polite thing to do, of course, but Illumi had experienced far worse pain. In a perfect world, Hisoka could use his fingers and tongue to stretch Illumi until he had lost all composure and begged to be fucked. For now, he’d have to settle for this.

Illumi pouted when Hisoka pulled his mouth away, letting the slightly used condom fall onto the sheets beneath him. He opened the cap on the lube with a small pop and squeezed some onto his fingers. It was too much and dripped down landing uncomfortably on Illumi’s thigh. He let it be for now, rubbing his fingers against Illumi’s hole.

“One day, you’ll have to show me how you like this,” Hisoka whispered as he pressed to fingers inside. Illumi was in total control of his body at all times, even as something foreign entered him, he remained relaxed enough that Hisoka did not meet much resistance. “I got a lovely show of you touching your cock, but I bet you’re even more pretty when you touch yourself here.”

“Huh? W-when...” The moment of realization crossed Illumi’s face and he knew exactly the night Hisoka was talking about. He covered his eyes with his arm, embarrassment setting his cheeks aflame.

“Don’t hide from me, Illu,” Hisoka prompted. Peppering his arm with small kisses. “When I’m fucking you, you better look at me.”

Illumi slowly pulled his arm away. “Get on with it then,” he replied impatiently.

Hioka pulled his fingers out, wiping them on his bed sheets before pulling out another condom. This bit was a little more tricky. He placed it over the leaking head of his cock and pushed, praying it rolled on correctly and he didn’t have it backward. Thankfully, his prayers were answered. He lined himself up and pushed in slowly. Entirely inside of him, he buried his face in the crook of Illumi’s neck. It felt good.

No. Good didn’t come close to describing how it felt. Even Illumi’s mouth could compare to the tight heat that surrounded him now. He had to take a moment to collect himself because if he didn’t he would come and it would be over. He felt Illumi petting his hair, urging him on. With any luck, Illumi would think he was taking it slow for his sake.

Hisoka pulled back, inching his cock out before thrusting it back inside. It took him a bit to work up to a good rhythm. Illumi’s small huffs spurred him on. Huffs that were slowly turning into gasps and whines. No wonder Illumi couldn’t touch himself while he was away on his assignment. Even if he had a bit of time in the shower, he was naturally vocal. He was so quiet in his daily life, it seemed as though the sound needed to come out sometime. Unfortunately, they couldn’t afford for Illumi to make those perfect noises. The walls were thin and people were nosey.

Hisoka needed to keep his mouth occupied. So he nudged at his lips with his fingers. Illumi opened up, allowing Hisoka’s fingers to shove their way down his throat. The new intrusion made Illumi buck his hips, trying to drive Hisoka’s cock further inside of him. Hisoka was talented. He could do two things at once. So as his hips snapped forward, so did his hands, fucking both Illumi’s ass and mouth at the same time. Illumi struggled to do as he was told and keep his eyes open. The sensations enveloped him.

Illumi seemed to lose himself, turning his body completely over to Hisoka just for the moment. He couldn’t imagine Illumi like this with others, although he knew there had been others before him. He didn’t trust them, not like he did Hisoka, he could let his guard down enough the truly enjoy himself.

Hisoka felt his orgasm approach before he was ready to accept it, but there was nothing he could do to stop it. He thrust forward a few more times before he came, accidentally forcing his fingers in far enough that they touched the back of Illumi’s throat. He could feel the other swallow around them.

Illumi was too desperate to wait for Hisoka to finish and turn his attention back on him. He shoved his own hand in between them, giving his own cock the few tugs it took to push him over the edge. He shuttered beneath him, clenching down on his cock, making Hisoka wince from the overstimulation.

When they were both spent, Hisoka pulled himself out and collapsed next to Illumi who was panting heavily.

“That was...acceptable,” Illumi told him and Hisoka laughed.

“Acceptable? I suppose that’s a glowing review given my lack of experience. We’ll have to do this again, measure my improvement.”

“If we do, are you still going to pester me to spar with you?” Illumi asked, he curled closer into Hisoka. Hisoka found his arms naturally wrapping around Illumi. This was customary after sex, the cuddling. He had never seen the appeal in books, but here and now, the closeness brought a sense of closure to the event. Cementing that it happened and that this was not another elaborate fantasy Hisoka had crafted. Illumi was here. He could feel his heartbeat.

“Of course, fighting you could be the best foreplay.”

Illumi was quiet as he pondered what to say next. “There are benefits to frequent sexual release. While I occasionally take partners on missions, they are lacking. I would appreciate making this a regular occurrence.”

“We can do this as often as you like,” Hisoka promised. Some would worry about sounding desperate, but Hisoka was shameless.

Illumi nodded, reluctantly pulling himself away.

“I have to go back to my bedroom now. I’ve been awake for approximately thirty-six hours.”

“I don’t suppose you need me to walk you back to the estate,” Hisoka said. He propped his head up on his hand to watch as Illumi began to dress himself.

“You wouldn’t be able to make the walk. I doubt you’d be able to make it to the bathroom in your current state. Although you really should pee after sex.” Illumi told him helpfully.

Hisoka didn’t protest, his legs did feel surprisingly weak after all. He would need to work on that.

Illumi stepped toward the window but stopped. He turned back to Hisoka, leaning down to kiss him one last time.

“Good night, Hisoka.”

“Sweet dreams, Illu.”

Chapter Text

The thing about society's focus on virginity is that Hisoka wasn’t sure if his life was supposed to feel different after he had sex. On one hand, he had been stuck in a cycle of dreary monotony that any change would’ve been welcomed with open arms. On the other hand, Hisoka had spent years building up a perfectly crafted relationship with Illumi, one with nuance and complexity that most people wouldn’t understand. To have one cardinal act change things would be unfortunate.

The day after his first trist with Illumi he started his morning by opening his bedroom window, which he had never done before. He hadn’t realized how the scent of sex would seep into the pores of the room. It was a pleasant reminder at first, but not exactly his scent of choice. He stripped his bed of his sheets, ignoring the stains that were noticeable against the heather grey, and spritzed his mattress with one of his favorite body sprays.

He didn’t walk with any additional spring in his step or any post-coital glow. He simply started his usual routine after the slight deviations. He didn’t feel anything new for Illumi that he hadn’t felt before. Illumi was still his best friend and his favorite person. He still wanted to fight him. He still wanted to fuck him. Neither of those feelings was truly satisfied just because one had happened.

With the exception of a few dark purple marks on his skin, Hisoka was physically the same. No one looked at him any differently as he got his breakfast and left for the day's activities.

Hisoka didn’t immediately seek Illumi out. He had just come back from a long mission which means his mother was going to be more smothering than normal. The only saving grace was that her favorite son, Killua, had also been away. She would likely be focusing most of her attention on him, but Illumi missed his family when he was away.

Hisoka made a casual pass by the estate, smiling as he subtly observed. He wasn’t sure of the details, but the mission had been a success. He could feel the celebration in the air. He was certain somewhere inside Kalluto was trailing after Illumi like a duckling, wanting to know every detail Illumi was willing to offer.

Resigning himself to not seeing Illumi for the next few days, Hisoka went about his day as normal. He had a schedule for days when he didn’t have assignments. For the most part, he stuck to the schedule, even if it was boring. He thought of these days as filler days. Days where nothing exciting was going to happen. He supposed most people would consider days like these peaceful, but for Hisoka peace was never an option. He would have to make his own excitement, no matter how small.

Speaking of a small excitement, his eyes caught the sight of the apprentice currently on guard duty. Canary was an interesting person. She was younger than Hisoka was when he first came to the estate, but she was improving quickly. She had taken on one hundred intruders by herself. Intruders that Hisoka may or may not have helped into the estate just to see what would happen.

She was standing guard, completely at ease in her position. She stood according to regulation, not like Hisoka who would often make himself comfortable sitting on the ground or up in a tree. She was so very by the book. He knew that she knew that he was there, but she made no move to greet him or even look in his direction.

They hadn’t spoken. She had no reason to dislike him, but he was almost certain she had been warned about him.

“Good morning!” He called out in a sing-song voice.

“Good morning, Hisoka.” She replied.

“I don’t envy you,” he said. “This was the worst part of being an apprentice. It is no fun.”

“It’s not supposed to be fun,” she replied.

“Everything should be at least a little fun,” Hisoka told her. She finally looked at him. Her brown eyes looked at him warily. He knew she was wondering how someone like him had become a butler. How the years hadn’t turned him into the perfect obedient killing machine that so many before he had become.

“If you insist,” she said, turning back to face in front of her. She knew better than to argue with Hisoka. He wasn’t a being of logic. There was no chance of winning.

“Say, Canary, when you are promoted, what would you like to do?” He asked.

The question caught her off guard. He knew most apprentices thought about it at one point or another. The what comes after.

“I think...If I’m promoted-”

“Ah, that’s not the right phrasing. It’s when. When I’m promoted. If you doubt yourself that badly, why are you even here?” he asked.

She made a face. She knew as well as Hisoka the small percentage of people that made it past apprentice. She didn’t have Hisoka’s raw confidence, but she took his words into consideration regardless.

“When I’m promoted, I’d like to work in defense.” She told him.

“Oh good! That is one of the fun jobs. I was worried you’d want to work in the main estate. You seem rather close to Master Killua.”

Her resolve broke and she gave him a panicked look. “I am not close with Master Killua, that would be inappropriate.”

“Yes of course,” Hisoka agreed. “But it’s only natural given how close you are in age. Has he approached you?”

She hesitated. “On occasion, I’m not sure how to discourage it without offending him.”

“I’m afraid I can’t help you there. Illumi spent most of his younger years following me around like I didn’t know he was there.” Hisoka told her. It was a fond memory. The roles were reversed now it seemed. Hisoka spent a great deal of time stalking Illumi around the estate.

“Are you...friends with Master Illumi?” She asked him. It was a hard question to answer. In Hisoka’s mind the answer was undoubtedly yes, but in Illumi’s mind friends were a liability. If Hisoka was lucky he was considered an acquaintance of Illumi’s, but he didn’t know if Illumi would ever consider him a friend, no matter how intimate things got between them.

“Butlers are not supposed to have any emotional attachment to the family, but between you and me, a little emotional attachment is a good thing. Work for the sake of work is boring, but work for the sake of passion? We all have our reasons for being here.”

Canary’s nose wrinkled. “Passion? That makes it sound like you love him.”

Hisoka felt a laugh pass his lips while he processed the words, startled by the grain of truth that very well may be in her statement. Something that he was not ready to explore. “I love the challenge he provides," he responded instead.

Canary didn’t look like she understood. How could she? Hisoka hardly understood himself. He didn’t know if he could call what he felt towards Illumi love. The closest he could get was an obsession. Hisoka had never loved anyone before. Love was too selfless of an emotion. He didn’t know if that was possible for him. He had survived most of his life by putting himself first. He didn’t know if you could do that and still love someone.

When he was a child Hisoka had a book that he had pulled out of a dumpster. He couldn’t read it, but he would stare at the pictures for hours, ignoring how the water stains seemed to warp them. When he finally learned what the words meant, he lost interest. The mystery was gone. The story that Hisoka had crafted in his head was much more interesting than the story that had been printed. Still, one line from that book had stuck with him.

We are all a little weird, and life’s a little weird. And when we find someone whose weirdness is compatible without ours, we join up with them and fall in mutual weirdness and call it love.

Mutual weirdness was a good way to describe how he felt toward Illumi. If that was the closest thing he could ever feel to love, then he was fine with that. He didn’t feel like anything was missing. He had never before in his life desired to love someone or have someone love him in return. What he did want was for Illumi to look at him with his gorgeous eyes and for Illumi to threaten him with his calm stable voice. He tried to push Illumi to the very edge until he snapped. He wanted to break him and he wanted Illumi to break him back. That could be love.

Hisoka sighed, lost in his own thoughts as he contemplated.

“Hisoka?”

“Mm? Oh right, if you want to be friends with Killua then you need to find out how to do so. Get creative, Canary. If you think it’s worth it that is.”

“Thank you, Hisoka.”

Hisoka went off, too distracted to realize whether or not his words had any real impact on Canary.

Sex. Love. Bloodlust. Whatever it was, his life continued on as normal. Normal now included Illumi pressing Hisoka up against whatever surface was closest. They kissed each other until Hisoka had every crevice of his mouth memorized. He kept careful notes of how Illumi liked to be touched and what spots would make him shiver.

Hisoka when away on assignments. Illumi went away on missions. Every time they would recognize with a surge of what could be described as passion. They didn’t put a name to it. They didn’t need to.

The year passed with more excitement than the last, and Hisoka was happy.

Chapter Text

The assignment has taken Hisoka off guard, which was not an easy feat. It wasn’t completely unheard of to have a collector accompany a member of the family on a mission. After all, an assassin's job was to kill, and a collector's job was to get money. A Zoldyck shouldn't have to bother themselves with someone else’s job. If they had a reason to suspect a client would try to skip out on a payment, it was best to be proactive. Hisoka had never been chosen to go on one of these missions. It was usually reserved for senior collections. Which...if he really thought about it, now included himself. He had been doing this job for almost nine years. It wasn’t as long as a lot of the Zoldyck butlers but Hisoka was now twenty-five. He had officially spent over half his life employed by the Zolyck family. He had skills and experiences that he never thought possible.

“There will be no need for collaboration on the assignment. Illumi will take care of his work. I want you to stay close to the client. Do not leave his side until you’ve received payment,” Silva’s instructions brought Hisoka out of his mind.

It was rare that Silva personally delivered mission parameters. Typically Hisoka received his assignments in the form of a digital file. Silva’s presence had him just as excited as he had been the first time, but it had lost some of its novelty. He longed to fight Silva, to test the immense strength the other possessed. But it no longer consumed his mind. Illumi had taken up that pedestal above all others. Silva was strong, but he had peaked. He was exactly as strong as he was going to be. Illumi had so much potential still. He was getting more excited every day.

“And if he doesn’t pay?” Hisoka asked.

If a client refused to pay, they were eliminated. A warning to anyone who tried to pull one over on the Zoldycks. Occasionally there were exceptions to the rule. The fact that Sivla was standing there in front of him told Hisoka that this was a case with an exception.

“His father is a long-standing client. No lasting damage will be done to him.”

Hisoka nodded. That would make things less fun. Hopefully, he would be able to see Illumi's work. Illumi, no doubt, knew that Hisoka would be coming. They wouldn’t have a chance to talk beforehand, but he trusted Illumi knew that Hisoka had plans for him. They had made due over the last year with the stolen moments they had on the estate. Hisoka had enjoyed their times together immensely, but he wasn’t about to fully lose himself in the pleasure.

They could not be caught. As fun, as it was to tease Illumi, to threaten to not cover up the marks that Illumi like to leave across his neck and chest, Hisoka had no interest in dying. Physical and romantic relationships were off-limits for butlers. Illumi, Hisoka had decided, fit firmly in both categories. Kikyo would have his head if she knew all the ways he was defiling her baby. Hisoka liked living even more than he liked Illumi. He didn’t think Illumi would be offended by this. After all, Illumi loved his family. He didn’t want to risk how getting caught sleeping with a butler would change their perspective of him.

Hisoka had fantasized about what they could be like away from the estate. How loud Illumi would finally have a chance to be? Hisoka wanted to thoroughly ravish him. He wanted to make him completely lose his composure for the first time. Afterward, they could shower together, or perhaps even take a bath if the hotel's tub was big enough for two.

The job would take place in Yorkshin. Illumi was already in town, casing the venue. There wouldn’t be time to meet up before the job, but after...after Illumi was his.

Typically Hisoka got to choose his own clothing during his assignments. Over the years he had filled his closet with clothing that Illumi had exasperatedly referred to as his clown clothing. Everything was perfectly tailored and suitable to his personal style, which admittedly was more flamboyant than some. But Illumi still had a majority of this clothing chosen by his mother, so he hardly had room to talk.

This time he had an outfit waiting for him in his hotel room. It had already been pressed and dry-cleaned. Hisoka was prepared to find something drab. Something that wasn’t too different from the suits he typically wore on the estate. However, when he unzipped the garment bag he couldn’t help but smile.

It was a three-piece suit in a deep shade of maroon that could’ve been mistaken for black in a dark room. The lining was black and upon closer inspection, he saw that it was patterned with card suits. The suit was undoubtedly custom-made for him. It fit his body beautifully, not clinging so tight that it would be uncomfortable to fight, but tight enough to show off his slim waist and the curve of his ass. There was only one person who could’ve had this made. It made Hisoka even more excited for this evening. He’d have to say thank you.

Hisoka made sure to pick up his hotel room and put a bottle of champagne on ice before he stepped out. A black car was waiting for him outside. Hisoka pulled out his phone as the driver started off towards the banquet. He opened a photo of his client. He was just a hair younger than Hisoka, but far more childish. His father was exceedingly wealthy, and he spoiled his only child rotten. As rich boys were known to do, he was seduced by the wrong person. He had been thoroughly used and then left for someone hotter and richer. Both the client, Julien was his name, and his ex-lover would be at this party.

The target was none other than Julien’s ex, Sceptry. Illumi was tasked with taking him out, publicly, as a warning to what happens when they decide to play games with his heart. Naturally, no one would be able to connect things back to Julien, but they would know.

In Hisoka’s opinion, a broken heart was hardly worth killing over, but if it was then Hisoka wouldn’t be satisfied with out-sourcing the murder. If it had truly been love, wouldn’t you want them to die by your own hand? The idea of someone else killing Illumi filled Hisoka with rage. Illumi in his entirety, including his death, belonged to Hisoka.

The banquet was already bustling when Hisoka arrived. He made his way up the grandiose staircase into the room, taking the time to survey what could only be described as a ballroom. There was a wall of windows including two large French doors that lead out to a balcony that overlooked the back garden. The floors were polished wood, with not a scratch or a scuff mark in sight. There was a slightly raised stage where a string quartet was currently playing a song that Hisoka had heard once in a music box when he was hardly more than seven. Back then he hadn’t even been allowed in the shop that sold the music box. He had been chased out with a broom, forced to watch the tiny dancer through the big front display window. Now he was here listening to the same song in a room overlooked by a massive chandelier that was dripping in genuine crystal, not glass, he could tell the difference. How times have changed for him? The whole thing was a rather garish display of wealth. The Zoldyck’s were far weather than the host of this particular party, but you wouldn’t know it by the sight of the room. The host had taken care of every detail to show off his money. Hisoka’s inner street urchin was tempting him to pocket some of the silverware. He shook off the feeling and instead went to go reap the benefits of a wealthy man’s need to show off by treating himself to a drink.

A healthy pour of top-shelf spirits in hand, he set his sights on his goal for the evening. Finding Julien was easy enough. He was making a show about what a good time he was having. Trying in vain to make his ex jealous despite the imminent demise he would face. Illumi however was far more difficult to find. He knew he was in the room. He could feel him even if he could not see him. With his ability, he could be wearing any face, anybody. He finally zeroed in on the other. Illumi was standing near a large group of people that coincidentally included Sceptry. He was wearing a simple form fitting black cocktail dress that was tied around his neck. His hair was loose, but as opposed to slicked back, he had pulled a few pieces forward to frame his face. He wore a pair of heels that even Hisoka would hesitate to wear, especially to a job, but Illumi wouldn’t be hindered by them. He could tell on Illumi’s face that he knew he was being watched, but no one else would have a clue. No one else knew Illumi as Hisoka did.

He forced himself to turn away and focus his attention on Julien. It only took one perfectly timed pass to catch Julien’s eye, stopping his endly empty chatter in its tracks. Silva had instructed him to stay close to the client until payment was received. That would be easy enough to do. He was desperate for arm candy, the more mysterious the better. Tonight, Hisoka would be just his type.

“Ah, hello, I don’t think we’ve met before. I would certainly remember meeting someone that looks like you,” Julien greeted, completely unaware Hisoka was associated with the Zoldyck family.

“I’m flattered. I’ve seen you before at a few of these events, but I must confess I’m painfully shy.” Hisoka lied.

“I find that hard to believe,” Julien laughed.

“It’s true,” Hisoka insisted. “I prefer to spend my evenings on the edge of the crowd, while you seem to be the center of any room. It's a bit intimidating.”

“Well, if it becomes too much for you, just let me know. I’d be happy to escort you somewhere more private.” Julien took Hisoka’s arm despite the fact that Hisoka didn’t offer it. Still, he didn’t protest. If it kept the client close to him, he could get through it.

Without a crowd to entertain, Julien spent his time talking incessantly to Hisoka. It was amazing how much a man could talk with nothing to say. Hisoka listened, a small polite smile looking out of place to anyone who knew him. They walked circles around the ballroom as they chatted, walking ever so slightly slower as they passed the target. Hisoka didn’t mind because it meant he could sneak glances at Illumi. He looked unhappy, perhaps even borderline uncomfortable. Hisoka knew this portion of the job must be the hardest. The waiting. The anticipation. Illumi had seemingly endless patience, but he had his limits like any man. On the third lap around the room, Illumi looked up, purposely catching Hisoka’s eyes and he couldn’t stop a genuine smile from gracing his lips.

“It’s getting rather warm in here, don’t you think? Come on, I’ll take you somewhere cooler.” Julien didn’t wait for a response. He simply did as he liked and expected Hisoka to follow. Hisoka didn’t want to leave the room. He didn’t want to miss Illumi in action. But he couldn’t leave the client.

Julien led him out to the balcony. It was a cool night, and it felt even colder coming from the warm room. They were alone, bathed in the warm glow from the windows. Hisoka opened his mouth to suggest they grab another drink, but before he could speak Julien leaned in and kissed him.

Julien was painfully enthusiastic. His hands were roaming over Hisoka’s body as they kissed. Hisok’as own hands held onto the balcony railing behind him. He had no interest in touching Julien. He had no interest in kissing Julien. The other didn’t seem to notice his disinterest. Julien’s tongue wriggled against his own, reminding Hisoka of a slug. The sensation made him want to gag. It was nothing like when Illumi kissed him. That kissing was nice. He could spend hours kissing Illumi. This feeling was wrong. It was too wet. The touches were too fast, desperate, and not in a fun way.

Maybe he had gotten too used to Illumi. Illu already knew what he liked. They didn’t need to learn about each other's bodies. He had Illumi memorized. The idea of kissing anyone other than him was unpleasant, but kissing Julien was doubly so.

Hisoka gasped, but not due to anything Julien had done. There was a delicious aura. Something Hisoka had never felt before. It was beautiful. The amount of anger, of bloodlust. Hisoka had never felt anything that was purely malicious from anyone other than himself. His eyes snapped open as Julien’s now lifeless body crumpled to the ground. Nothing stood between him and the owner of the swirling purple aura. His beloved. Illumi’s face was dark, his eyes wide and his gaze paralyzing. He had two more needles ready. Hisoka wondered gleefully if they were meant for him.

“Oh Illu,” Hisoka breathed, burning the sight into his brain.

Hisoka’s words seemed to snap Illumi back to reality. He looked at Hisoka, and then at the body on the ground.

“I killed someone who wasn’t my target,” he said softly.

“Yes, he was your client actually,” Hisoka replied. He stepped over the body to get closer to Illumi.

“I have never done that before.” He said, still looking at the corpse. His needle sticking incriminatingly out of his neck.

“Yes, and you have no idea how badly I want to fuck you right now,” Hisoka whispered against his ear. To think Hisoka could spark hatred in Illumi so bright that he would kill outside of his contract. It made him painfully hard. “But first we need to clean up the mess. There were specific instructions to not kill him.”

Hisoka stepped away, plucking the needle from the corpse's neck before picking him up by the collar of his suit. With an effortless move, he tossed the body over the side of the balcony. It landed with a splat on the cobblestone below. There was a beat of silence and then a scream.

“That would be our cue.” He grabbed Illumi’s hand, threading their fingers together as he whisked him away into the crowd. Everyone was rushing to see the cause of the commotion. It would be no task to slip away. After an afterthought, Hisoka tossed the pin, sinking it into the temple of Illumi’s target. He fell unnoticed in the building chaos. Illumi took him, so it was only fair.

The valet had abandoned his station, but Hisoka recognized which car Illumi had driven and plucked that key from the lot.

“Why did I do that,” Illumi muttered to himself.

“Hush now darling,” Hisoka said, opening Illumi’s door before sitting in the driver's seat himself. Illumi was a bad driver on the best of days, but Illumi in crisis could not be trusted behind the wheel of a car. It was a short drive to Hisoka’s hotel. The car roared to life and they went off into the night before they could be missed.

He looked at Illumi. The assassin's mind was no doubt racing. He had never failed a mission like this before. Even as a child, his jobs were nothing short of perfection. He wore a look that Hisoka hadn’t recognized at first. Fear. His father would not be happy and a disappointed Silva was nothing sort of terrifying. Disappointment meant additional training.

The last time Illumi had upset his father he had shown up in Hisoka’s room with more bruises than he could count, not to mention ten broken fingers. Thankfully the breaks were clean. Illumi needed steady hands in order to operate his pins. One wrong move and he could hit a nerve he wasn’t supposed to. Hisoka had helped him set the breaks. Illumi hadn’t cried, or made any show of being in pain, but Hisoka had felt a slight tremble in his body as he pulled him close that night.

The punishment Hisoka would receive for botching a job was nothing compared to that. He was already pulling out his cell phone before he fully processed that he made a decision.

“Hello~” Hisoka greeted cheerfully. “Bit of an issue. The client must’ve had second thoughts about the hit. He jumped off the balcony while I was in the restroom.”

Illumi’s head snapped around, staring at him in annoyed confusion.

“Yes, Yes, I know. Next time I’ll make sure I pee where I can see the client. I’ll write up the full report when I get back. Bye-bye!”

He hung up his phone, slipping it back into his pocket.

“That was a lie. Why did you say that?” Illumi asked.

“Because your father specifically told me to not harm that client. He’d be very upset with you if he found out you killed him. People expect me to screw up, so it won’t come as a huge surprise. Although I doubt I’ll be able to accompany you on a mission for a while.” Hisoka said. “Besides, how would you explain yourself? You were angry because you saw he was kissing me? I appreciate it, Illu, I really do, but your father would not.”

“I don’t need you to protect me,” Illumi growled.

Normally Hisoka wouldn’t disagree. Illumi was more than capable of defending himself. Except when it came to his parents. “Darling, it’s my job to protect you.”

“Pull over,” Illumi said suddenly.

“No, we are nearly at the hotel,” Hisoka replied.

Illumi pulled out a pin, pressing it into Hisoka’s neck hard enough to draw blood. “Pull over.” He repeated.

“Illu,” Hisoka whined. It was taking everything in him not to pull Illumi into the backseat of the car, but Illumi was making it so hard. He pulled over and Illumi threw the door open, climbing out of the car onto the sidewalk.

It was late enough in the evening that there were hardly any people present, which was good because Illumi didn’t look happy and Hisoka didn’t want his anger directed at anyone but himself.

“Are you really mad that I lied to protect you?” Hisoka asked, getting out of the car as well.

“No.” Illumi was a terrible liar. “You were just doing your job, and your job is done for the night. You are dismissed.”

An angry Illumi had the potential to be fun, but this was not amusing. He hated when Illumi spoke like this. Like he was Master Illumi. Like his orders were to be followed without question. Like Hisoka was not meant to push back.

“You can’t dismiss me,” Hisoka responded.

“I can and I did.” Hisoka couldn’t hear the anger in his voice anymore. He was simply impassive. He was shutting him out.

Hisoka’s hands clenched into fists at his side. “You are the one who is always so focused on completing a job as requested. You messed and I helped you, and now you’re mad at me? How is that fair?”

“I do not have to be fair to you. You work for me,” Illumi snapped. “I failed my mission. I should be the one punished.”

Maybe Hisoka made the wrong choice. He had never willingly put himself in harm's way for another person before now, and Illumi was fighting him on this.

“You think I want to submit you to the torture your mother has in store if she found out you failed.”

Illumi flinched at the word failed. Like Hisoka had carved it into his forehead. “My training is none of your concern. It is meant to help me improve and it is nothing I can’t handle.”

Hisoka rolled his eyes. “If it’s nothing then why doesn’t your mother train Killua or Kalluto? Can’t they handle it?”

Illumi wasn’t stupid. He recognized the harsh treatment. If he didn’t he would be protecting his brothers.

“You took a vow to serve and obey the Zoldyck family. It is not your place to question my mother's training methods. They are none of your concern.”

“You are my concern!” Hisoka snapped. “You think I took that vow because I wanted to serve the Zoldyck family?”

“You said it yourself, the only reason you do anything is because you want to.”

“I don’t give a damn about the Zoldyck family. The entire estate could burn down right now with everyone inside and I wouldn’t care.”

“Watch your words-”

“I took that vow for you. Because I wanted to be with you. Even then, although I didn’t know why or what it meant, I knew that I was going to do whatever it took to stay by your side.”

Illumi was stunned. Hisoka took his silence as a cue to continue.

“I almost left so many times, but you kept me anchored there because the thought of leaving you was unacceptable. The thought of living my life and never knowing what you became was too frustrating. Chrollo tried to recruit me and I turned him down because no matter how powerful he was, it was you I wanted. Don’t you see that? I don’t care about anyone else in this world besides myself and you. I love you. I serve because of you. I got your fucking family name branded on me because it was a part of you. Silva, Kikyo, Killua, I do not care about them. There is no Zoldyck family. There is just you. There is just Illumi.”

“You love me?” Illumi asked after a beat of silence.

“No one has ever loved me, so I don’t know if I’m doing it right, but yes. I do.”

Illumi brought a hand up to touch his cheek, surprised when he came away wet. Tears had begun to fall from his eyes unbidden. Hisoka had never seen Illumi cry before. Nothing had brought the other to tears. No matter how much pain he was in, he never cried. But here he was in front of Hisoka now, crying.

“I want to love you too,” he confessed. “You make me feel things I’m not supposed to feel.”

“You don’t have to love me today,” Hisoka told him. “You don’t even have to love me tomorrow. But if you want me, you can have me.”

Illumi rushed forward, hugging Hisoka so tightly that he struggled to breathe. Hisoka wrapped his arms around Illumi in return, and he cried. Overwhelmed by the sensation of being thoroughly and completely wanted for the first time in his life.

Hisoka held him for several minutes, feeling their heartbeat move in sync as they both started to calm down. He was reluctant to let Illumi go, but they needed to get to the hotel. He drove with one hand so he could keep the other resting on Illumi’s thigh.

“You were expecting me to come back here,” Illumi said when they entered the room. He was peering at the champagne bottle.

“Weren’t you?” Hisoka asked. “It’s better than pressing you against a tree in the middle of the night, not that that isn’t fun.”

Illumi didn’t say anything. He didn’t like to admit when Hisoka was right. Instead, he kicked off his heels and sat on the edge of Hisoka’s bed. There was a sense of nervousness about him. One that hadn’t been there even during their first time together. Hisoka understood there was something more now that he had admitted his feelings. Before sex had felt more like a feral release. Now it felt almost vulnerable. It made Hisoka’s insides twist into uncomfortable knots. He wasn’t sure he’d be okay in this state if it wasn’t Illumi he was with.

Hisoka kicked off his shoes to join Illumi’s, sliding off his jacket as well.

“I have one rule for tonight,” Hisoka said.

“A rule?” He asked, cocking his head to the side.

“You’re not allowed to muffle your voice. I want to hear all the sounds you make.”

Illumi blushed, embarrassed by his own vocal nature. “Very well, but I have a rule of my own.”

“Oh?”

“You can’t tell me you love me. Not during sex.”

It was a fair request. There was something about a love declaration during sex that felt cheap. Especially for Illumi who seduced targets into their deathbeds. So many honey-soaked lies.

“I accept your terms.” Hisoka was standing in front of Illumi now. His deep black eyes shone up at him in anticipation.

Illumi jumped his bones as frequently as Hisoka did, but tonight he seemed unsure enough to let Hisoka take the reigns. Hisoka took his hand, pressing a soft kiss to the top before gently tugging Illumi off the bed. Hisoka sat in his palace and Illumi seemed to get the hint. He sunk to his knees in front of Hisoka.

There was something so breathtaking about seeing the powerful and proud Illumi Zoldyck on his knees in front of him. Hisoka lifted his hips, allowing Illumi to pull off his dress pants. Hisoka hadn’t bothered with underwear and he was glad for it. He was already half hard and they had hardly touched.

Illumi let himself relax as he took Hisoka into his mouth, easily taking him in completely. He was in his element. Love was confusing and terrifying, but sucking dick was something he had come to be familiar with. Illumi had done it enough times now that he knew exactly how Hisoka liked it. Hisoka had to grip the edge of the bed tightly to avoid tugging on Illumi’s hair. He hated that.

Hisoka thrust a bit accidentally, the head of his cock bumping the back of Illumi’s throat. He prepared himself for a warning pinch, but it never came. Instead, Illumi seemed to relax further, his mouth opening a little wider, but his actions stalling. He looked at Hisoka expectantly.

Hisoka didn’t need to ask what he wanted. He knew Illumi. He could tell by his actions that he wanted Hisoka to fuck his mouth. Hisoka wasn’t going to deny him that. He rested a hand gently on the back of Illumi’s head to keep him in place. He started slow at first, trying to find the best pace, but after a few thrusts, he just lost himself in the feeling, letting his body do as it wished.

Illumi was making choked little sounds that were making Hisoka come to his peak embarrassingly quickly. He should stop and let himself cool off, but he didn’t. He kept going until he came, burning Illumi’s face in his pubic hair as he came down his throat.

Illumi wiped the spit from the side of his mouth when he pulled back. Hisoka looked down at him fondly as he undid the buttons of his dress shirt.

“Can I help you out of that dress, darling?” Hisoka asked as he let his shirt fall from his shoulders.

Illumi rose delicately, sitting on Hisoka’s lap. He pulled his hair to the side so he had pulled down the small zipper. It slid down with no resistance. He pressed small kisses down his exposed spine. Illumi’s back was riddled with scars. A testament to the resilient life he lived. He undid the tie at the top of the halterneck and the top of the dress toppled down revealing Illumi’s bare chest.

Hisoka pressed Illumi’s back into his chest as he felt up his chest. Illumi bit his lip as Hisoka’s thumb brushed over his nipple.

“Remember your rule, Illu. Let yourself go for me,” he whispered in the other’s ear. Illumi nodded.

There was still a bit of hesitation in how the moans slipped from his lips. Illumi was turned on. Hisoka could see the way the tight skirt of the dress was bulging slightly. He nudged Illumi to stand so he could pull the dress the rest of the way down. Underneath he wore a pair of black lace panties. His dick was wrapped in them like a gift.

“Did you wear these for me?” Hisoka asked, touching the waistband of his underwear.

“They went with the dress,” Illumi said, avoiding eye contact.

Hisoka took the underwear in his hands and pulled it, tearing them off Illumi’s body. Illumi made a small startled sound.

“I want you to work yourself open for me,” Hisoka said. “I want you to give me a show.”

“You’re a bastard,” Illumi said, climbing onto the bed, sitting up against the pillows.

“I’m your bastard,” Hisoka said fondly.

He handed Illumi the lube that he had stored. It was cool at first, but would quickly warm up into a pleasant temperature. Illumi didn’t look at Hisoka as he poured some out, covering his fingers, and letting some drip down onto his thighs as well. Then he looked at the other, letting his legs fall open.

He started with two fingers, moving slowly and certainly. He had touched himself like this before, just not where Hisoka could see. He had been much more diligent about making sure his curtains were closed since Hisoka confessed to seeing him in his moment of pleasure.

This was a far better show. He could see everything. The way Illumi shoved his fingers in deeper, the way the breath caught in his chest when he stretch out. A third finger joined and Illumi let his head fall back against the wall. His mouth hung open as he breathed heavily.

“Does it feel good?” Hisoka asked. He was hard again, aching between his legs like he hadn’t just come moments ago.

“Yes.” Illumi’s voice sounded so lewd.

“Do you want to ride me, Illu?” He asked.

Illumi looked at him, having trouble thinking, let alone answering questions. Illumi nodded, fingers still working wildly inside of him. Hisoka grabbed his wrist, pulling the fingers out and tugging Illumi forward in a kiss. Illumi moaned into his mouth, moving his tongue against Hisoka’s in perfect harmony.

Hisoka laid back on the bed, letting Illumi find the best position before he sunk down, the copious amounts of lube he used while fingering himself helping him go in easily. It wasn’t until Illumi was firmly seated that Hisoka realized that they hadn’t used a condom. He wasn’t too worried. Hisoka only slept with Illumi and Illumi was testing regularly. The only difficult bit would be the clean up but they could worry about that later.

Illumi cried out as he began to bounce on his cock. He knew how to move to get himself off. He was just using Hisoka. Taking from him what he wanted, and from the sounds he was making he was really enjoying himself.

Hisoka’s hands found Illumi’s hips, holding them softly. He didn’t guide Illumi, he let the other move as he pleased. He just wanted to be touching him. Illumi moved his hips just so and screamed.

It was loud enough that at first Hisoka was worried he had hurt him without meaning to, but he didn’t adjust. He just kept his hips situated so that when he sunk down it would hit the same spot. Hisoka figured it was his gspot. He had read about it, but books made it sound like it was a lot easier to find than it had been. Illumi knew his body well enough that he was able to reach it easily with Hisoka’s cock. Hisoka would have to strive to memorize its location as well.

“I can’t,” Illumi muttered through his cries. “I can’t I’m going to come. You haven’t even touched me, but I’m going to-ah!”

Hisoka’s grip tightened enough to keep Illumi in place as he rode out his orgasm. Hisoka kept thrusting, feeling himself growing close once more. Finally, he came, filling Illumi’s hole.

Illumi collapsed and Hisoka caught him. The other was dead weight for a few seconds before he came to again.

“Hisoka,” he whimpered. Hisoka leaned forward and kissed him. Illumi kissed back, not knowing what to say. This was easier than words.

“Are you okay?” Hisoka asked.

“Yes, I’ve never experienced that before. I sometimes hit my prostate while masturbating, but it is never that intense.” Illumi confessed.

Hisoka chuckled softly. “I came inside you. It’s going to be a mess when I pull out.”

“It’s a good thing this is your bed then,” Illumi said.

Illumi’s words brought Hisoka back to reality. Illumi couldn’t sleep here. He had to go back to his own hotel room. If he never arrived for the night, Silva would surely know about it.

He pulled out and Illumi made no move to keep the come inside of him. It spilled out onto the comforter. Illumi kissed his cheek and stepped into the bathroom. He wet a rag with some warm water and returned. Gently cleaning Illumi off the best he could. Once he was clean, Hisoka kissed him again.

“I love you,” he said, much more confident in his words now that they had already been said once.

“I said-”

“It's not during sex anymore. It’s after.”

Illumi frowned and he didn’t say the words back, but he didn’t expect him to.

“We’ll have to do this again sometime,” Hisoka said.

“Perhaps,” Illumi said, his voice contemplative. Hisoka hoped he was plotting.

He let Illumi use his shower, unfortunately alone. He put his clothes back on, opting to hold the heels in his hand.

“I’ll see you back at the estate,” Hisoka promised.

“I will see you then.” Illumi didn’t kiss him goodbye. He just slipped away into the night.

The room smelled like sex and Illumi, two of his favorite things. Hisoka dozed off with that scent around him.

Chapter Text

Life simply was as it was. It was not out to get you, but it did always seem to break beneath your feet right when you were at the top of the world. Loving Illumi didn’t feel any different than how he felt before. He had expected something to change inside of him, but it felt as natural as breathing. Which was why it came as a shock when Hisoka’s lungs were forcefully ripped from his body.

There was something hostile in the air. Hisoka could feel it as he was coming back from his walk that morning. It was exciting at first, then almost concerning. Hisoka looked around at the crowd of butlers that gathered in front of the butlers' quarters. Alarm bells started ringing in his mind.

“Ah, did I miss some sort of threat?” Hisoka asked even though he knew he didn’t. They were not preparing for defense, but rather offense. They were primed to attack, and Hisoka was the target.

“Hisoka Morrow, we are to escort you to the main estate. Master Silva is expecting you.”

There was only one reason why Silva would get involved. Hisoka cursed the way it made his stomach churn. He had gotten too comfortable over the last year. He and Illumi had been trained for stealth and secret keeping, but when it came down to it Illumi couldn’t lie to his father. If you knew him, really knew him, his lies were easy to detect. He wore his emotions openly.

Hisoka couldn’t blame Illumi. Not when the fault was his own. Hisoka had provided Illumi with an impossible fact. That someone loved him more than his parents ever good. He should’ve known that wouldn't have sat well with him. As much as Illumi craved to be loved, he would throw it all away for his family. In the end, that’s what he was always going to do. Hisoka had just hoped that when the time came, Illumi would eliminate him. He had imagined in detail what those pins would feel like sinking into his flesh. How they would hit his nerves. Illumi would find a way to make it painless. He was disgustingly sentimental. He didn’t understand Hisoka’s need for violence. The way pain made him feel safe.

Hisoka mourned the day that would never come, the fight that would never happen. At least he would still have a chance to fight Silva. The fear and apprehension from his fellow butlers weren’t surprising. Hisoka had never been easy to control. He hadn’t made friends with any of them. There were some who tolerated him, but most have been waiting for this day. He couldn’t blame them. He was volatile at the best of times. They were all killers. Every single person here had taken a life in service to the Zoldyck family, but Hisoka was the only one who enjoyed it.

“I suppose you’re hoping I’ll come quietly then?”

Hoping yes, expecting no. They were prepared for a fight. They didn’t give Hisoka a chance to attack first, making the first move with practiced precision. Their moves were easy to anticipate. After all, they had all trained together many times. Despite being outnumbered, Hisoka had the advantage. He was unpredictable. It had driven Illumi wild, how Hisoka seemed to move without a plan. He couldn’t have been more wrong. Hisoka had a plan. He wasn’t about to put himself in a position where he was an easy target. He simply knew how people thought, and when you knew what other people thought you were going to do, it was just a matter of doing the opposite.

Three butlers fell dead before anyone managed to land a hit on Hisoka, and another three died before anyone managed to make him bleed. He felt two darts pierce the skin of his neck. He ripped them out, already feeling woozy. He had come a long way since Kikyo’s tranquilizer, but he still had limits.

He felt a bone in his arm break blocking a hit from a rather talented enhancer. Then he felt his calf get sliced open by a sword. It was nothing life-threatening. It was their job to escort him. Not kill him. They would use any means necessary to complete their assignment, just like the good Zoldyck butlers they were.

Hisoka fell to his knees, holding his hands up in surrender. There was no reason to completely wear himself out, not if this wasn’t his main fight. He would back down now, but later, with Silva. That would be to the death. He would be ready.

He was escorted to the main estate, not limping despite his injuries. He wouldn’t give anyone the satisfaction of knowing that they hurt him. He wore a smile, even as he was shoved to the ground in front of Silva. Thankfully, it was just the master of the house. Lady Kikyo was nowhere to be seen. It was just as well, he couldn’t stand her wailing.

“Hisoka,” he greeted.

“Silva,” Hisoka let the word roll off his tongue like an insult. No need for titles anymore. Not if he was going to be killed anyway.

“I trust you know why you are here.”

Hisoka tilted his head to the side, a bit of blood from a head wound dripping down his cheek. His vision was fuzzy, but he was still continuous. “I have an idea, but why don’t you tell me what you know? I’d hate to accidentally confess to any additional crimes.”

Silva’s face was as impassive as Illumi’s but nowhere near as beautiful.

“Physical relationships are forbidden amongst butlers. You are well aware of this.”

“Since when do you bother yourself with personally attending to a butler who breaks the rules?”

“Since it involves my family.”

“Oh, so this is about how I’m fucking Illumi. How fun.”

Hisoka couldn’t breathe. Despite his size, Silva was fast. His punch knocked the air from Hisoka’s lungs and likely broke a few ribs. He tried to inhale, but couldn’t, not for several moments. When air did return to him, he coughed, spraying blood out on the floor in front of him.

“Your insolence was tolerated because of your performance, but this cannot be overlooked. You are sentenced to die, by my own hand.”

Hisoka grinned wildly, blood staining his white teeth. “I accept, but if you would grant me one last request, fight me. If I truly deserve to die, then I should be allowed to put up a fight of my own. After all Silva, you promised.”

“I will grant your request if only to prove to you that in comparison to a Zoldyck, you are nothing. I’ll even have the children watch. It would be a good lesson for them as well.”

He would make Illumi watch as he killed his lover. How cruel of a man Silva was.

“Take him away. Once he’s healed, I’ll kill him.”

Hisoka was secured in a small cell, and given a small amount of water and food. There was no bed or light, forcing Hisoka to find a comfortable place to sit against the concrete walls. He let his cheek rest against the cool wall and finally let the darkness consume him.

It was impossible to tell how much time had passed when he woke up. He could tell that his arm was broken in at least two places, as were his ribs. The lacerations that covered his body had stopped bleeding, but it left his body coated in itchy dried blood. It took a while for his eyes to adjust to the darkness, not that there was much to see. This would be the last place he would be until his death.

He wasn’t sure he could beat Silva. He stood a chance now, more so than when he was fifteen and desperate to fight anything for a bit of fun. Even if he did manage to win, taking the life from the head of a household of assassins, he knew he wouldn’t be walking out of there. If Silva died, then Illumi would kill him. He was sure of that. There was nothing that Hisoka wanted more than to die at Illumi’s hand. A fitting ending to a story he never thought he’d write.

Hisoka raised a hand as the door opened, flooding the room with light.

“Hisoka...” the hesitant little voice made Hisoka open his eyes in surprise.

“Kalluto? You’re not supposed to be here.”

The youngest Zoldyck looked at him with a mixture of horror and pity.

“I wanted to see...Killua said Father is going to kill you, but I didn’t believe it.”

Hisoka shrugged. “Your father is going to fight me. We shall see if I die.”

There was no doubt in Kalluto’s mind that his father would kill Hisoka. That was plain to see on his face.

“What did you do?” Kalluto asked. “Whatever it was couldn’t be that bad.”

Kalluto still carried so much guilt from when Hisoak was punished for showing him kindness. Hisoka pitied Kalluto. He was still so soft for a Zoldyck. So empathetic. Not like Illumi who was able to put his emotions away in neat little boxes never to be touched, or like Killua and Milluki who cared nothing about anyone's feelings but their own. Kalluto was sensitive. He had to be. Years of being smothered by his over-emotional mother had trained him to pick up on others’ emotions. He felt a sense of responsibility for them that no child should feel.

“Do you know what sex is?” Hisoka asked.

Kalluto nodded. He was training to be a professional killer, of course, sex education wasn’t taboo, regardless of whether or not he was eight.

“Well, butlers are not allowed to have it, and I did. The real issue is that I was caught. Here’s a life lesson for you. You can do whatever you want in life as long as you’re not caught.”

“How did you get caught?” Kalluto asked.

Now that was the question. He didn’t know for sure. Someone could’ve seen them. Milluki did have a tendency to spy. The most likely reason made his heart ache worse than any broken bone.

“I assume Illumi told someone.”

“Illumi? But why? He likes you. He told me that I was allowed to play with you and that the sweets you gave me were okay to eat. Why would he want to get you in trouble?”

Hisoka could tell him the truth. That is big brother was terrified of his own emotions, and instead of confronting them he had run to his parents. Illumi thought he was doing the right thing, but Illumi was trained to put family before all others, including himself.

“You’d have to ask Illumi,” Hisoka said.

“I don’t want you to die,” Kalluto confessed. “No one else is nice like you. I could talk to Mother. She’ll-”

“No,” Hisoka cut him off. “Listen to me very carefully, Kalluto. Never do anything for somebody that puts your life in danger. You may think your family loves you, but you’re not stupid. You’d seen how you’ve been pushed aside in favor of Killua. If you don’t put yourself first no one will. Do you understand?”

The eight-year-old looked at him with watering pink eyes. He nodded. With any luck, Kalluto would take his words to heart. He wouldn’t turn out like Illumi, blindly dedicated to people who wouldn’t care if he lived or died. Hopefully, Kalluto would find his own family, burn this one down and rebuild it from the ground up.

“Good, now get away from here before you’re caught.”

Kalluto looked like he wanted to say goodbye, but he couldn’t. It was too final. As the door closed behind him Hisoka smiled. Kalluto. Illumi. If only Hisoka had time to corrupt more of the
Zoldyck children.

Hisoka focused his nen on healing his body. He focused his mind on the fading pain. The next time someone opened the door, he was ready. They led him to some sort of arena, but it felt more like a stage. His farewell performance.

Four of the five Zoldyck children stood on the edge close to their father. Poor Alluka had not been invited to the show. Kalluto did a good job. It wouldn’t do him any good to be crying for Hisoka. Killua was trying to look bored, but Hisoka could see the interest in his eyes. The kid would have a vicious blood lust someday. Milluki looked more annoyed than anything. Finally, there was Illumi. He looked blank. It was unlike him. His eyes were simply there, not hiding any secrets. He hadn’t expected much from Illumi, but something would be nice. Anything to show that he had cared. Is this what others saw when they looked at Illumi? It’s no wonder why they thought he was a monster. Hisoka didn’t mind. He was still beautiful. He winked at Illumi, but he didn’t react. Not like his younger brothers who made a variety of expressions at the action.

Silva stood there in all his sleeveless glory.

“I will not make this easy on you. There are things I’d rather do than entertain your desire for an interesting death.”

“Quick isn't how I operate. I do enjoy playing with my food.” Hisoka replied.

Hisoka waited for Silva to make the first move. He knew it was coming. He could see the way his muscles moved beneath his skin. He was preparing for action. Any moment now, the fun would begin.

Hisoka drew back a hand and-

"Wait!"

Chapter Text

Both Silva and Hisoka turned to look at Illumi who had reached out a hand. Illumi looked at them confused. It was like he was surprised by the sound of his own voice. Like he hadn’t meant to speak, but he did.

“Illumi,” Silva said in a warning tone.

“I should be the one you’re fighting,” Illumi told him, stepping forward away from his brothers. “Hisoka only broke the rules at my command.”

Hisoka stared at Illumi in disbelief. He had no reason to speak up for Hisoka. He had already been sentenced. All he had to do was let things play out, so why... His father had already spoken so why was he stepping between them?

“I knew Hisoka was interested in me. He had been since I was a child. I found him amusing to keep around and he would bring me things I wasn’t allowed to have. When we got older I realized he would be a convenient outlet for sex. It was easy enough to convince him. There was also the added benefit of him being a virgin. I was able to shape him into my ideal sexual partner, and since he lived here on the estate I could see him frequently without arousing suspicion. I knew he would do anything I told him to do, he had proven that already. He always followed my instructions even if he didn’t agree with them. I spent the last several years building up his loyalty to me. I didn’t realize how deep it ran until he confessed his love for me. I didn’t anticipate that he was capable of feeling anything more than loyalty to me. I underestimated my own deception abilities. I’m the one who needs to be taught a lesson. Hisoka, he only did what he vowed to do. Obey. Even if what he thought he did was rebelling.”

Illumi was a terrible liar. Hisoka knew that. Silva knew that. So why did it sound like he was telling the truth? None of that was correct. Hisoka had spent years wearing Illumi down to get anything close to friendship with him. Hisoka had always been the one in control, pushing Illumi to see if he would go further. But Illumi didn’t believe he was lying. He saw himself as the mastermind. He saw Hisoka as no better than his puppet. Someone he manipulated. He thought Hisoka was weak enough to be used.

All at once his image of Illumi shattered. He knew Illumi better than anyone ever had or ever will. He could write volumes of books about Illumi. He saw his very soul. And yet, Illumi didn’t know him at all. Years together and like so many before him Illumi saw Hisoka as exactly what he wanted to see. He thought Illumi was better.

He wasn’t better. He was never more than the little boy with a leaf in his hair that looked down at Hisoka. He just got better at hiding it. Perhaps Hisoka was the fool. He had built Illumi up into something that he wasn’t, an image that best suited Hisoka. A person that he could love. No one could love Hisoka, so he had invented someone who could and he had convinced himself it was real. He had tricked himself and Illumi was taking the credit.

Disgusting. To think that anyone could think so highly of themselves. No, Master Illumi was no different. He was exactly like everyone else. He had no right to his life.

Illumi turned to look at Hisoka and he flinched, just barely, but it was visible. Hatred emanates from Hisoka in waves. A feeling that Illumi had never felt directed at him before.

“You explained to me the importance of taking responsibility for my actions. That is what I’m doing.” Illumi looked back at his father, his expression firm.

Silva seemed to consider him. Even if he believed Illumi, he had no reason to spare Hisoka. No reason but to spare Illumi the guilt. In a rare moment of kindness towards his oldest son, he seemed to relent.

“Very well, you will need additional training. It would not do you well to end up with associates who become obsessed with you.” Silva said. “You are free to go. We will no longer be in need of your services.”

“What?” Hisoka’s voice finally returned to him.

“A butler should be loyal, but emotionally unattached. You were not able to keep up to that standard. You should be grateful, you still have a life ahead of you. Do with it what you will, but you are not to come back here. If you do it will be considered trespassing and I will have you killed.”

No. No this wasn’t how this was supposed to happen. Silva was already walking away, his fight slipping out of his grasp. Illumi gripped Hisoka’s wrist as he moved to lunge forward.

“Collect your things and leave,” Illumi said.

Hisoka ripped his hand out of Illumi’s grasp, his touch causing his skin to crawl as if insects had burrowed into his pores.

Leave. Hisoka would leave. But he would be back. Silva would fight him one day. He would die by his hand.

There was a lot of destruction that could be caused between the main estate and the butler's quarters. Hisoka had half a mind to walk out of the testing gates and never look back, but he was going to pack up anything he could carry. The Zoldycks owed him that.

The butler’s quarters were empty. His bloodlust was seeping through the forest with every step, and they had a fair warning to stay clear. Anyone that was in his way would die. He was already denied one fight today, any interaction would be taken as a challenge.

He threw his clothes into his bag, stripping out of his suit for the last time in favor of something with character. He left his Zoldyck cards behind, making sure each one was securely buried into his bedroom wall. There was just one item left. A small black rock that he kept under his mattress. He thought about throwing it away, having it rejoin the rocks in the dirt below, left with no more significance than any other rock on the estate. When he held it in his hand, the hatred returned to his gut. It burned hot enough that his eyes stung. He pressed them tightly closed. He would keep it. It would serve as a good reminder. People are not meant to be loved.

He slammed the door behind him hard enough that several windows shattered, but he didn’t look back to assess the damage. It wasn’t his problem. He only moved forward towards the exit. He could see the testing gate when a small whine caught his attention.

Mike was looking at him with his big terrifying eyes. He was waiting for something. Probably a pat on the head or a scratch behind the ear. He...he would miss Mike. They should’ve left here long ago. He could take him away now, but Mike wouldn’t understand. Just because Hisoka no longer had a home, doesn’t mean Mike needed to give up his as well.

Home...in his thirteen years, he had never once called this place home, but now he was leaving the realization crashed over him in a wave of sorrow. He had spent his first twelve years as a traveler, but thirteen in these walls. Coming home to the same room and the same bed. This had been his home and now...now he had nowhere.

He gave Mike a kiss on the nose.

“Give 'em hell boy,” he whispered and then he walked through the testing gates, throwing open all seven as he stepped out into the setting sun.

He had found himself a cheap motel room for the night. He still had access to his bank account, although the money would stop coming in. He would need to find another source of income. He had a small amount saved up, but it certainly wasn’t enough to live on.

He stood underneath the lukewarm water of the shower, not knowing what was next for him. The pressure around his throat was gone as the collar was ripped away from his neck. Why didn’t freedom feel as good as he had always pictured? Maybe the only true freedom is in death.

Hisoka’s nails pierced his own skin as his fingers brushed the ugly scar seared into his skin. He had no master, so he should bare no mark. He climbed out of the shower, not bothering to shut the water off. He pulled a single card from his deck, the edge dangerously sharp. He made the first cut with no hesitation. Blood welled up instantly and began to run down his thigh. Cuts were a sharp pain, but once it was made Hisoka enjoyed the warmth that came with it. He made the next cut below the brand before he started bleeding too much to see where he was cutting. The next two were done in quick succession. All four were connected, forming a bleeding diamond. He tossed his card to the side and shoved his finger through the cut. The bit of flesh didn’t come away easily. Hisoka had to tug at it slightly to get it free. He tossed it in the trash bin.

He couldn’t help but sigh. It was like the last bit of weight on his shoulders had been lifted. He pulled a folded towel from above the toilet and pushed it to the wound, the white towel staining red. He pushed the faucet off and the shower silenced to a steady drip. He laid down on the bed. It wasn’t the most comfortable place in the world, but comfort was no longer a concern of Hisoka. He had gotten soft. There was so much the streets could’ve taught him if he hadn’t been pulled away from them so young.

Now that was a thought. There was someone who had grown up hardened by the streets. He had made quite a name for himself since the last time Hisoka had seen him. Chrollo Lucifer. He was no longer the leader of a small gang, but a feared thief. He had slaughtered people without mercy, for personal gain. Not because anyone had instructed him to, but because he had wanted to. From what Hisoka understood, his whole gang was free to do as they pleased, only gathering all together once in a while.

They hadn’t seen each other in seven years. He had been strong then, he must be even stronger now. Hisoka would have to pay him a visit.

Hisoka tossed the towel to the side, letting his mind drift to the steady throbbing of the new wound. He could heal it. It probably wouldn’t even scar, but he wanted it too. Today was his rebirth. He should have something to remember it by.

Hisoka flicked off the lamp at his bedside and climbed under the covers. Tomorrow he would begin his search from Chrollo. After all, they had a long overdue date.

Chapter Text

Finding Chrollo had not been an easy task, but Hisoka hadn’t thought it would be. Chrollo wouldn’t be nearly as feared if he was easy to find. Still, Hisoka was not one to give up just because a task was difficult. He didn’t have access to the extensive file access the Zoldyck family had, but that didn’t mean he had nothing to go off. After several years of visiting powerful people, Hisoka had built up a list of individuals who would have resources that would benefit him.

His heels clicked as he gracefully moved through the empty hallway of the office building. Almost everyone had gone home for the night, but Hisoka knew that the person he was seeking out would still be there. The office was the only place he could get away with fucking his secretary. After all, his wife was such a jealous person. She would notice a hotel charge on their bank statements.

He seemed confident that she wouldn’t catch him here, after all, he hadn’t even locked his office door. That was an invitation for trouble.

The young woman shrieked when he opened the door, scrambling to find her discarded shirt and cover her exposed chest. Her partner looked just as frightened, color draining from his face when he recognized Hisoka.

“Hello Al, long time no see,” he drawled.

“Y-you! What are you doing here? I don’t have any outstanding payments.”

“Oh, that? I’ve grown tired of collections. There really isn’t any room for upward mobility. So, I’ve decided to strike out on my own. I was hoping you’d be kind enough to help me, given our colorful history.”

“Help? What could a psycho like you want from me? Money?” He asked. The secretary, sensing that Hisoka didn’t care whether or not she was there, made a run for it. She slipped behind Hisoka and out the door, leaving her shoes behind in her haste.

Hisoka hummed. The money would be nice. If he wanted her could probably extort quite a few of his old clients, but that didn’t sound fun.

“You were robbed a few months ago, but a group known as the Phantom Troupe. I know you’ve been tracking them down trying to collect what they stole from you. It is an impossible task, they’ve likely already pawned everything they took, but that is beside the point. I need to know everything you have on them.”

“Are you going to kill the Phantom Troupe?” He asked.

“That remains to be seen,” Hisoka replied honestly. Not all of them at least. Maybe one or two, but not Chrollo. He wanted to fight him more than anyone, but to show up after seven years and to demand a fight, that wouldn’t be nearly as sweet. Hisoka appreciated some good foreplay.

“Fine,” Al-Rico agreed. He opened the laptop in front of him, pulling up an email that he had been sent. Hisoka walked around to stand beside him, looking at the notes over his shoulder. Nothing was definitive. They weren’t a group that stayed in one place for too long, but they were decent leads.

“May I?” Hisoka asked, already moving his arms around either side of the man to type off his computer. Al-Rico’s hands jumped back as if Hisoka had burned him. He quickly forwarded everything to his email. “You’ve been a big help.” He pressed a kiss to the other’s cheek, leaving a sticky lip print against his skin.

Hisoka pulled back, going towards the door. “Oh, and I should probably warn you that your wife is on the way. Someone sent her a live security feed of your office, and she was not happy with what she saw. If you leave now, you might be able to call your lawyers before she beats you to death.”

He didn’t stay to enjoy that icy sensation of fear that ran through Al-Rico’s veins. He simply closed the door behind him and made his way back to his hotel room.

In the months since leaving the estate, Hisoka hadn’t bothered getting an apartment. There wasn’t anywhere that he wanted to stay for an extended period of time. Sometimes he got a hotel room, other times he went out, staying up nights at clubs or diners and then sleeping on the train to his next destination. Sometimes he would find someone fun to spend the night with and enjoy a couple of nights in a comfortable bed and a shower with decent water pressure. Of course, once the corpse began to smell Hisoka took his leave.

Occasionally Hisoka would look up a place where he could fight. He could make decent money in some underground rings. In the back of his mind, he had Heaven’s Arena filed away. A place like that could provide a comfortable lifestyle, but every time he started to think about that he thought about Illumi. So he shoved it down for the time being. Besides, there were fewer rules when the matches were technically illegal. Nobody cared if his competitor ended up dead.

He had made enough money recently that he could afford a decent hotel room with free wifi, which made his search for Chrollo easier. He was getting close. He could practically smell the other man, but the thief was good at slipping through his fingers. This file was the final piece he needed. Their game of hide and seek was about to be at an end.

With a smile, he called a number he had saved weeks ago.

“Hello, my name is Hisoka Morrow. A mutual associate mentioned you were transporting some precious family heirlooms and were looking for private security. I’m calling to offer my services.” He explained, frowning a bit at the response he received. “Hunter’s License? No, I’m afraid I don’t have one of those just yet. Unfortunately, the exam isn’t for another few months. However, I have experience in private security and I’m willing to do things the local law enforcement is not, strictly off the record of course. Mmhm, yes. I’ll be there this Saturday to discuss my terms.”

Chrollo didn’t seem to have a preferred target he liked to steal. He was a man of many interests, but a thief like him wouldn’t be able to resist an antique forty-five-carat diamond. All Hisoka had to do was wait and Chrollo would find him.

The diamond was spectacular up close. Even Hisoka who never cared for jewelry could see the appeal as the stone caught the light of the moon from the windows of the transport van. Hisoka was seated in the back with the necklace that sat in a bulletproof case. There was a camera in each corner, just to make sure nothing happened to it. In case Hisoka could be trusted.

The show started with gunfire. There were two people on motorcycles following the van and a car in the front. He wasn’t sure what was hit first, but he could hear the sound of the bikes hitting the ground, scrapping across the road before coming to a stop.

The tires screeched against the asphalt as the driver lost control. Hisoka smiled, bungeeguming himself to his seat so he wouldn’t be tossed around as the van rolled over itself, coming to a stop on its side off the road. There was some shouting as the driver and the passenger pushed their way out of the cab. The shouting was quickly silenced.

Hisoka flicked his wrist out quick enough that he knew it would be detected on camera. Four cards buried themselves into each camera, killing the feed. Hisoka unstuck himself and walked over to the case. It was still intact, but one punch and it shattered. Bulletproof yes, but nenproof, not so much. He picked up the necklace. It was heavier than he thought it would be, but it was oh-so-pretty. It would make an excellent courting gift.

Speaking of which, the doors to the van were pulled open. Those on the other side had been preparing for a fight, but they stopped in surprise when they saw Hisoka holding their prize.

Hisoka recognized them, the wracked his brain for their names.

“Franklin right?” Hisoka asked, looking at the large man. “And you are Feitan. I remember you. We had so much fun last time. I’m looking for your boss. I believe he’s expecting me, but I am terribly late for our date you see.”

“Hisoka?”

Hisoka couldn’t help but feel a bit breathless when he caught sight of Chrollo in the moonlight. He had filled out some since their last meeting. He looked less scrappy and more sure of himself. The confidence of someone who had proven himself a force to be reckoned with.

“There you are!” Hisoka stepped forward, but Franklin and Feitan stepped closer together. Neither was interested in letting Hisoka pass. “I’ve come to take you up on your offer. I’ve brought a gift.”

He held out the necklace. Chrollo had a little smile on his face as he stepped forward, holding out his hand for Hisoka.

“So you just sat in here and let us do all the hard work?” Chrollo teased.

“I would’ve helped more, but I have a feeling Feitan doesn’t like me. He was liable to cut my head off by accident.” Hisoka said with a little pout.

“It would not have been a accident,” Feitan said.

“Since you came all this way, why don’t you and I go have a drink,” Chrollo offered.

Franklin and Feitan looked at Chrollo like they thought it was a very bad idea, but neither voiced this. They trusted their leader and his ability to hold his own against Hisoka. They didn’t view Hisoka as a threat to Chrollo and that was enough to get Hisoka excited.

He had expected Chrollo to lead him back to some abandoned compound, but it turned on he, like Hioska, occasionally liked to treat himself. He was in a hotel suite. The kind that had a small sitting room in addition to a bedroom. He wasn’t sure where the others were staying. They hadn’t followed them back.

Chrollo took the necklace out of his jacket pocket, looking at the sparkling diamond.

“You know, they say this necklace is cursed and that anyone who touches it is doomed to misfortune.” He said as he admired it.

“I’m sure they’ve said the same thing about you,” Hisoka said. “And yet, it doesn’t make me want to stay away.”

Hisoka highly doubted that the necklace was cursed. He had seen cursed objects and this object felt nothing like it. It was so easy to blame something else for a person's misfortune. People always wanted a reason why things went wrong. Sometimes things were just wrong.

“So you want to join the Phantom Troupe now?” Chrollo asked, tossing the necklace to the side as if it wasn’t worth billions of jenny.

“If you’ll have me,” Hisoka replied.

“And what about the Zoldycks? This isn’t some ploy of theirs is it?” He asked.

Hisoka made a face at the mention of the Zoldyck. It didn’t come up much in casual conversation, but whenever it did it tasted like bile on his tongue.

“We’ve gone our separate ways,” Hisoka said.

“I didn’t know that was possible. I thought butlers were employed until their deaths. How did you get out of service?” Chrollo asked.

Hisoka smiled as he place a hand on the back of the couch behind Chrollo’s shoulder as he leaned in. “I fucked Illumi Zoldyck well enough that I got a lovely severance package instead.”

Chrollo laughed. It was a nice sound. Something that felt so lighthearted that it was hard to believe this man had committed atrocities.

“If you like, I could give you a taste,” Hisoka whispered in his ear.

Chrollo placed a hand on Hisoka’s chest. “That won’t be necessary. If the Troupe found out I received sexual favors in exchange for a position in the troupe they’d have my head.”

“So thievery and murder are okay, but that’s where you draw the line?” Hisoka asked, raising his eyebrow.

“Where I’m from, you did whatever it took to survive. Some of my friends had to use their bodies as currency. You can imagine why they’d be upset. Besides, I meant what I said all those years ago. We just so happen to have a spot open, and I would be happy if you filled it.”

“Is that so? Well, I should probably let you know that I don’t do favors. I do what I want, and I want you regardless of getting a position. Although I do graciously accept.”

Sex wasn’t something that Hisoka had a lot of. Most people were so boring. Sure visually they were appealing, but they didn’t make him excited, not in the same way Chrollo did. Not like before with Ill-

Hisoka let his other hand glide up Chrollo’s thigh towards his crotch. Chrollo’s hand rose to Hioska’s chin, turning the other’s face so that they could kiss. It was a soft kiss at first. He was testing the water, waiting to see if Hisoka would change his mind. He didn’t.

Hisoka kissed Chrollo back with practiced ease. He unbuttoned the leader’s pants easily with one hand, surprised to find Chrollo’s cock hard and ready.

“No underwear Chrollo? Were you hoping for some fun tonight?” Hisoka asked.

“The adrenaline rush of a successful heist,” Chrollo explained breathlessly as Hisoka took him into his hand. “I usually like to find someone to fuck afterward.”

“What luck I was there,” Hisoka preened.

He dropped to his knees in front of Chrollo. It was a position he hated to be in, but it made things easier. Besides, the perceived power dynamic worked in Hisoka’s favor. Hisoka needed Chrollo to believe that Hisoka was okay with being beneath him.

Chrollo’s cock was thicker and longer than he was used to, but Hisoka took it into his mouth regardless. He was spurred on by the sound of the labored breathing above him. Chrollo wasn’t unlike him. The thrill of a good challenge got him just as excited, although the challenges were a bit different.

Hisoka felt Chrollo petting his fingers through his hair, careful not to get them caught in the gel. Hisoka tried to relax his throat and take more into his mouth, but he hadn’t been able to turn off his gag reflex and he found himself lurching a bit.

“H-hey don’t hurt yourself,” Chrollo said.

Hisoka pulled off the other’s cock, his golden eyes looking up at him through his thick lashes. “Then hurt me yourself.”

Chrollo’s eyes seemed to darken as he looked at Hisoka.

“Strip and get on the bed.”

Hisoka smiled at him. “Whatever you say, Boss.”

When Hisoka thought about bedding Chrollo Lucifer, and make no mistake Hisoka had thought about it in great detail, he had imagined Chrollo would lay back expecting to be serviced. He could picture him laying back propped up by down feather pillows, handing behind his head while Hioska took his dick down his throat. Chrollo was the boss. Anyone in the troupe, though dominant in their own right, would willingly submit to their leader. His word was absolute. Hisoka assumed if he wanted a challenge that could end with him on top he’d be better of proposition Machi, maybe even Nubunga, but with Chrollo, Hisoka was resigned to letting the other use him as he pleased. It was all part of a greater plan. Besides, Hisoka was horny enough that he was down for just about anything.

Chrollo had lost his coat somewhere between the couch and the bed. Hisoka had once heard the phrase a body built for sin. A phrase had never sued someone as well as that one fit Chrollo. His body seemed impossibly chiseled. Strength radiated from him. Hisoka wanted to lick every inch of him.

Hisoka had managed to gracefully step out of his clothes, fully naked when Chrollo pushed Hisoka back onto the bed. He settled down between Hisoka’s legs. He ran his hand over the scar that sat on his hip. The diamond that took the place of where his brand had once been.

“Interesting design choice,” he commented. He knew what used to be there. Chrollo was not stupid, and he had extensive knowledge of the underground.

“It’s a birthmark,” Hisoka said, and Chrollo didn’t call him out on his half-truth.

“May I return the favor?” He asked.

Hisoka raised a skeptical eyebrow. “You haven’t even come yet, it was hardly a favor.”

“You already gave me a lovely gift. I haven’t had a chance to properly thank you.”

“By all means, thank me,” Hisoka purred.

There was no passionate frenzy in Chrollo’s movements. Just purposeful methodical actions. Hisoka was bigger than Chrollo, and a little thicker too, but he didn’t look intimidated. He took his cock into his hand and licked a bead of precum off the tip.

Hisoka felt a pulse of warmth run through his body and he was made very aware of how long it had been. Thankfully Chrollo had very little interest in teasing. He swallowed Hisoka down halfway, moving his head in a steady rhythm. It was...okay. Not that it didn’t feel good. It felt great! But it wasn’t what he was used to. Illumi seemed to enjoy sucking him off. He had some sort of oral fixation and Hisoka’s dick was his favorite way to get his fix, bearing what Hisoka’s fingers would do.

Hisoka squeezed his eyes shut, trying to push away the throughs of Illumi. He didn’t want to think about it. Not when he had the leader of the spiders between his legs. He put his fingers in Chrollo’s hair, feeling the short length of the strands, reminding him of who he was with. That it wasn’t-

Without meaning to, Hisoka’s grip tightened. He didn’t push himself further down the other’s throat, but he pulled his hair hard enough the sting.

Chrollo gripped Hisok’as thighs, fingernails digging in. He let out a stuttering moan. A bit surprised, Hisoka pulled Chrollo off his cock by his hair, the other panting a bit, limply letting Hisoka move him wherever he pleased.

“It seems we both like a bit of pain with our pleasure, right Chrollo?”

“Y-yes,” he replied.

“Do you prefer giving or receiving pain?” He asked. He sat up, pulling Chrollo up with him. He tilted his head to the side so he could sink his teeth into the other’s neck.

“Receiving,” the other confessed, body trembling a bit under Hisoka’s touch.

“Ah, I bet Feitan has fun with that. From what I’ve heard he’s partial to torture.”

Chrollo didn’t seem offended that he had mentioned another man in bed. “From time to time,” he confessed.

How many troupe members had Chrollo slept with? He was very interested to know. He didn’t ask though. Instead, he pulled a condom seemingly out of thin air. Chrollo looked like he wanted to ask, but he knew better than to ask a magician to reveal his secrets.

“Do you even need me to prep you or are you looking forward to the stretch?”

Chrollo’s face was dusted with a delicious shade of pink.

“You’re bigger than I’m used to. If we don’t stretch me I don’t know if you’ll fit.”

“There’s only one way to find out.”

He flipped them around so that Chrollo was on his hands and knees with Hisoka behind him.

“Wait, Hiso-ah!” He cried out when he felt the head of Hisoka’s cock poke at his entrance.

“If you really don’t want this, now is the time to say so,” Hisoka paused. He wanted Chrollo to hurt, but toying with people wasn’t as fun without consent. Besides, he wanted Chrollo to want it. More than that, he wanted him to ask for it.

“Do it,” Chrollo encouraged, hands clenched in the blankets in a tight grip.

Hisoka pushed in, slower than he wanted, but he was met with a little resistance. Chrollo let out a low moan, one of pleasure not the pain that he must be feeling from the sudden intrusion. The lubrication on the condom was barely enough to help Hisoka slide in. His fingers Held onto Chrollo’s hips hard enough they would surely leave bruises.

Chrollo was fairly quiet as he fucked him. The primary sound was skin slapping against skin and labored breathing. Chrollo was much more composed. Not like Illumi whose voice always seemed desperate to escape. Illu would hate this. He liked when Hisoka took his time and fucked him gently like he was delicate and not a human weapon.

Hisoka cursed, not because of the pleasure of having his dick buried in the tight heat of the other man, but because Illumi was still somehow on his mind. He couldn’t seem to forget him.

Hisoka pulled out, ignoring Chrollo’s frustrated whine, and roughly turned the other over so he could see Chrollo’s face. He was a mess. His hair was sticking to his forehead with sweat and sticking up at odd angles. His face had gone from pink to red. The bite mark Hisoka made on his shoulder was already dark purple. Tears were streaming down his face in steady rivers. Hisoka couldn’t resist. He leaned over and licked a tear from his cheek.

Hisoka took both of Chrollo’s legs, folding the other man in half as he pushed back inside, more easily this time. He let Chrollo’s legs rest on his shoulders so he could grip the headboard, giving him leverage to fuck into Chrollo at a brutal pace. He looked down into Chrollo’s eyes, refusing to look away. They looked nothing like Illumi’s. He had no choice but to have the reminder.

Chrollo threw his head back as he came and Hisoka followed soon after. Neither moved for a moment, trying to catch their breaths. Then, Hisoka pulled off, sitting up next to Chrollo.

“Man,” Chrollo explained. “That was intense. I’m going to be so sore tomorrow.”

“I hope you had fun at least.”

“I never imagine you’d be the type to fish for compliments,” Chrollo teased. “But yes, I enjoyed myself. People usually expect me to take the lead.”

“I’ll happily fuck you into submission whenever you want it.”

Chrollo smiled at that. “I’ll keep that in mind. I’m afraid I have to kick you out now though. I’m very tired and I don’t trust you not to stab me in my sleep.”

Hisoka wasn’t offended by that in the slightest. The sentiment was shared. He disposed of the condom and found his pants.

Chrollo rolled over to the nightstand, grabbed a pad of paper, and scrolled his number down. “Here, send me a picture of your tattoo once you get it. Try not to take too long or I’ll think you weren’t serious about wanting to join. Your number is four.”

Hisoka took the number. “Of course. Let me know wherever I can be of service.”

He left Chrollo alone in the room. He didn’t return to his own hotel, opting to leave town. He had no interest in getting another mark of ownership, but thankfully with a little magic, he had a perfectly believable tattoo. He sent Chrollo a picture a few days later. Texture surprise perfectly mimicking a healing tattoo. Chrollo responded by wiring him his share from the sale of the necklace.

He smiled, saving Chrollo’s number with a heart and a spider next to it. Ignoring the hollow feeling shaped like Illumi that Chrollo could never quite fill.

Chapter Text

The Hunter exam. A task completed by so few people, Hisoka needed to see what the hype was about. Chrollo kept all of his legs on a relatively long leash. No one was obligated to stay in a group or share the spoilers of their personal endeavors. Occasionally Chrollo would request help and a few members would jump in, but as of so far, he hadn’t required Hisoka’s presence, leaving him free to do whatever he pleased in the meantime. Hisoka still chose to offer his assistance from time to time. He hadn't taken Chrollo to bed again after the first time. Although the other man had made hints that he would like a repeat performance, he never pressed Hisoka to join him again. It was admittedly a relief.

It was after one of the missions that Shalnark mentioned that he was going to take the Hunter exam that year. Access to restricted areas meant access to more interesting things to steal.

Hisoka didn’t particularly care about stealing, and although the large sum of money Chrollo deposited in his account after a job was quite nice, he did care about the quality of individuals that would be at such an exam. Hunters were the strongest of the strong. So Hisoka decided to tag along. Shalnark was a newer member and didn’t seem to have the same visceral dislike of Hisoka that others in the troupe seemed to have. He accepted Hisoka as a traveling companion but kept to himself, mostly on his phone. Once they reached the examination site, they parted ways.

Unfortunately like most rookies, Hisoka didn’t pass. It was no fault of his own. If they didn’t want him to seriously injure an examiner, they should’ve made that clear at the beginning. Shalnark passed, much to Hisoka’s dismay. A little of his light teasing had set a fire of determination in Hisoka’s belly. He used to be a Zoldyck butler. There are far fewer of those than there are Hunters. He would pass his exam.

He found the exam sight the following year with ease. He was one of the earlier ones, so he found a comfortable place to sit for the time being. His number badge was pinned to his chest. A new addition to this year's exams. He was curious to see it come into play.

He let his eyes survey the crowd of people, some he recognized from the previous year. None were particularly of note.

“Juice? Yeah, that sounds great! I’m thirsty.”

Hisoka’s head whipped around to the sound of the voice. Even if Hisoka didn’t know that voice inside and out, he’d recognize that shock of white hair anywhere. Tonpa was looking rather proud of himself as Killua downed the laced juice. Completely unaware that whatever he put in it would have no effect on the Zoldyck heir.

Killua seemed to sense he was being watched. He turned to look, eyes widening in surprised recognition. He started towards Hisoka and Tonpa looked distressed. He enjoyed watching people fail, but he saw Hisoka as a death sentence and he wasn’t interested in letting a child walk towards that without a warning. Killua brushed him off, of course, overconfident.

“Hisoka,” Killua greeted.

“It’s nice to see you again Killua, you’ve gotten taller,” Hisoka said. He was smaller than Illumi at that age. Perhaps he wouldn’t inherit Silva’s height. Not that height was an indicator of power. Zeno was not a tall man by any means.

“What are you doing here?” He asked, shoving his hands in his pocket.

“Same as you I’d imagine. I’m taking the Hunter’s Exam. Although I must say I am surprised to see you here so far from home. Your poor mother must be beside herself.” Hisoka said.

Killua huffed as he rolled his eyes. “My mother doesn’t know I’m here. I slashed her up and stabbed Milluki so I could leave the estate to have some real fun.”

Hisoka grinned. After all the work he did try to get Illumi to leave, it was their perfect heir who had a rebellious nature.

“I hope you enjoy yourself.” Hisoka ruffled the other's hair as he walked passed him.

There was a chill in the air. One so familiar Hisoka almost froze in his tracks. He smiled his mask of mischief perfectly in place. All the people filtering into the room he had somehow missed a familiar aura, but the contact with Killua made it spike.

The man wasn’t one he recognized at first look, but he knew exactly who he was. Illumi had gotten better at his transformations. He looked so unlike himself, Killua hadn’t even noticed the presence of his big brother.

Hisoka didn’t confront him. He had no reason to. All it would do would get him disqualified for the second year in a row. He ignored his racing pulse and continued on his way. Unfortunately, that was when some nameless nobody decided to bump into him, passing him without so much as an acknowledgment. Hisoka was not in the mood to let it slide.

He couldn’t kill him, not at this stage of the exam, but he could maim and he might as well make a show of it. Let Illumi see he had gotten better as well.

The man began to scream in horror and Hisoka softly blew a flower petal as it approached his mouth. There was a small crowd forming around, staring at the sight of the man’s arms disintegrating before their very eyes. Most of the people in this room couldn’t use nen, of course, they would have no clue how something like this could happen.

“Would you look at that, this man's arms are turning to flower petals,” he mused. “You should be more careful and apologize if you bump into someone.”

He could still hear the crowd mutter as he pushes his way closer to the front. He let out a small sigh. That certainly made him feel better. Nothing like some light maiming to help with exam stress.

The first stage of the exam started in a rather dull way. A basic endurance test. One that Hisoka could do in his sleep. He could feel people eyeing him as he passed them, their fear making it clear to Hisoka that they weren’t going to pass this year. One pair of eyes kept catching his attention. He didn’t look over to meet them. If Illumi wanted to stare, he could do as he pleased. What he really should be watching was Killua. He could hear the soft chatter as the duo passed him. Killua and another boy about his age.

Hisoka wasn’t even breathing heavily when they finally exited the tunnel. This examiner was too soft, giving everyone a chance to catch their breath. He was going on about danger or something, Hisoka wasn’t really paying attention until a man came limping out from behind the tunnel insisting that he was the real examiner and that the man in front of them was an ape in disguise, trying to catch himself from dinner.

It was a ridiculous notion, to think a Hunter would easily be defeated by an animal, or that an animal would go through that much trouble for a dinner was preposterous. What kind of idiot would believe that?

The kid near the back apparently. He looked ridiculous, completely shirtless but still wearing his tie. His panic was infectious and everyone because looking around wondering how they would be able to tell who the correct examiner was. The new man kept going on about how if they followed the first man it would end with them being killed and eaten.

Hisoka did not care for participating in any debate. Not when there was an easy solution.

He tossed two cards in either direction. They were relatively easy tosses, at least for someone of a hunter’s caliber. The lavender-haired man caught it, and the brown-haired man dropped down dead.

“I see, I see, well that settles it then,” he announced with a smile. He rattled off an easy explanation for his actions while others stood around stunned. The examiner didn’t look offended regarding the attack but he did offer a stern warning to Hisoka not to do so again. Hisoka offered no promises.

They ventured out into the fog. It was nearly impossible to see, but Hisoka didn’t need his vision to make it through. He had instincts and years of experience at his disposal. He could’ve made it to the end easily, but something more fun was lurking in the distance.

He slowed his steps, allowing the ones that were following him to get into position. None of them felt particularly strong, but Hisoka was still feeling pent up. Finally, away from Illumi’s gaze, he wanted to let off some steam.

He didn’t know who they were, but they judged him unworthy of being a Hunter. It was laughable considering their own glaring weaknesses. Hisoka pulled out one card. He would need more. They rushed him, slow and sloppy. All it took was one spin and his card sliced into the throat of each man in turn. The leader fell to the ground terrified. His card sunk into the back of his skull with a satisfying thunk.

Once he was dealt with Hisoka turned to face his audience. It was the idiot from earlier and next to him was his blond friend. That one was intriguing. After a beat the pair separated, going in different directions. The blond one didn’t seem physically intimidating, but Hisoka had overheard a bit of their conversation. A Kurta, the last of the Kurta’s perhaps. Hell-bent on revenge. He didn’t seem like much now, but revenge was a hell of a motivator. If he was goal was to truly destroy the phantom troupe, what would he do to get strong enough to do so? He wasn’t stupid. He knew with the current power he held he wouldn’t stand a chance. Even in a few months time, he could be something completely unrecognizable to the scared child in front of him now. Hisoka would let him live, for now. There was potential there.

The other one though...

“I just couldn’t do it. It may not be my fight, but I can’t just pretend nothing happened.”

He had a makeshift club. Not the most ideal weapon, but he was smarter than he looked. He came charging at Hisoka, maybe hoping to catch him off guard by making the first move. Hisoka dodged the attack easily by stepping to the side.

A strong sense of justice. That too was an excellent motivator for improvement. Hisoka knew a few people that seemed to fight harder when they fought for someone else. He had no reason to believe he was going to win, and yet he fought anyway. That took guts. Most people saw Hisoka and did whatever they could to avoid him. Someone who ignored their self-preservation in pursuit of what they believed is right could be very dangerous indeed. People who fought like they didn’t mind dying were unpredictable. Perhaps this man too had some potential.

Hisoka’s thoughts were stalled as something smacked him in the cheek hard enough to draw blood. What the hell?

“Gon!” The man behind him called out.

Through the fog a figure because clear. It was number 405. Killua’s companion from earlier. He could see now, why Killua would waste his time talking to him. There was something about this Gon, something he had not seen in a very long time. A mixture of raw talent and limitless potential. In many ways, he was like Hisoka, except for one key one. Hisoka was admittedly selfish while Gon seemed to be willing to help anyone in need. He would be willing to bet Gon would’ve stepped into the fight regardless of who Hisoka was fighting. Interesting. Very interesting.

“Leave him alone! Your fight is with me!” Hisoka turned, punching the man in the face hard enough to knock him out, but not hard enough to do any lasting damage.

Gon jump into the fight, swinging his fishing rod down to where Hisoka had been standing just moments prior. He cast it out with a practiced flick.

“Very nice,” he praised. It flowed like an extension of Gon’s arm. His aim and precision were very good. Hisoka was just far too fast. Was this what Illumi felt when he looked at Killua? The idea that this person in front of him was destined to be something great? He was like a lump of the highest quality clay. Hisoka wanted to make sure it was given to the best artists. Someone who would shape it into a sculpture that would make people weep. He wanted to see Gon in his final form, perfect and strong. He didn’t even know nen yet but he was a sight to behold. Hisoka wanted to break him, but he couldn’t. Not yet. It wouldn’t be worth it.

Gon flung himself around behind Hisoka, but Hisoka caught him easily by the throat. He could see the panic in Gon’s eyes. He pulled as hard as he could at Hisoka’s arm but it didn’t budget. He looked frustrated. Angry, like he would attack him.

“I love that look,” Hisoka crooned.

And then all at one that look was gone. Like Gon had accepted his fate and his death. Hisoka gasped. That just wouldn’t too. Until Gon believed himself strong enough that death couldn’t touch him, Hisoka would leave him be. He dropped his grasp and Gon toppled to the ground.

Hisoka said crouching down to Gon’s level. “Don’t worry.” I didn’t kill your friend. He’s going to be just fine.” He spoke to Gon gently, much like he used to speak to Kalluto. “And that’s because he passed. And you pass as well. Now go and become a good Hunter.”

Hisoka stood up, grabbing the passed-out man and throwing him over his shoulder. There was no way Gon could carry his friend and make it to the finish line, and he needed to make sure Gon passed. He left Gon there confused as he made his way to the finish line.

Illumi was already there. The face he wore was unmoving but in a different way than his usual face. Still, Hisoka could tell he was confused about the half-naked man Hisoka carried on his shoulder. He had questions that he’d never asked, which was fine because Hisoka had no desire to answer them. He sat him down gently and awaited further instruction.

The next stage was almost a catastrophic failure. Catching and killing the pig had been easy, but Hisoka was a terrible cook. He had learned when he had been employed by the Zoldyck’s It had been a part of his training, but he never developed the patience for it. In the past years, he had survived mostly on instant ramen and takeout. Thankfully, no one there seemed to make anything suitable. One man grating on Hisoka’s nerves so much that he nearly lost control before one of the examiners stepped in.

The airship ride to the third phase of the exam filled him with a sense of nostalgia. He had traveled primarily on land since leaving the estate. He still couldn’t get himself comfortable enough to sleep, so he found a quiet place to entertain himself. He added the last two cards to the top of his tower and Illumi walked by. The form he wore seemed to rattle as he walked. It was something that would be unsettling for most. Hisoka didn’t say anything. He just let him walk past as if he didn’t recognize him. He gave his tower a gentle push, letting the cards fall into a messy pile in front of him, the joker card sitting face up at the top of the stack, and directly next to it the king of hearts. Fate was surely laughing. He cleaned up the pile, forming a neat stack before starting over, placing those two cards as far away from each other as he could.

The third stage put him on the top of a tall tower. No doors, no stairs. There was no apparent way down unless one looked closely. Hisoka found his trap door and slide effortlessly into the tower below.

A voice from above explained the path he had unknowingly chosen. A maze. One wrong turn could set him back hours, or perhaps even lead to death. It was an impressive design, or rather it would’ve been had Hisoka not already known nen. He could easily see which paths were correct, finding almost no resistance on his way down.

It was boring. The only bit of fun was the hunter he had fought last year. He was back with a vengeance and his blade was impressive. It reminded Hisoka of the juggling acts he had seen as a child. Fun, but not altogether intimidating. He wasn’t an examiner this year though, so Hisoka had no issues with turning the man's blades back on him, ending his life and allowing Hisoka to pass on.

Hisoka entered a small room and looked up as the announcement was made that he was first. His time was six hours and seventeen minutes. Which meant he had a long wait. Hisoka closed his eyes, allowing himself to drift off.

It was six hours later when the next person joined him.

Illumi looked down at him, an artificial smile looking out of place on a face that wasn’t even his own. “I had a feeling you crossed the finish line already.”

They were the first words Illumi had spoken to him. Illumi wasn’t an idiot. He must’ve known that Hisoka recognized him. He wouldn’t be this friendly with a stranger.

“I’m surprised it took you this long,” Hisoka replied, feigning disinterest.

Before Illumi had a chance to speak another word another competitor arrived, cheering about being first, but freezing when he saw the two other men in the room.

“Hanzo, right?” Hisoka asked.

The bald man froze, not expecting either of his intense competitors to speak to him.

“It seems we’re to be stuck here until the time runs out. Do you know how to play hearts?”

Hanzo was enthusiastic and a bit earnest for Hisoka’s taste, but talking to him was better than talking to Illumi. Without meaning to, Hisoka had ended up employing Illumi’s favorite punishment. The silent treatment. He wasn’t sure why he opted to shut the other out. The anger that he felt towards Illumi hadn’t faded away, but it had faded into a simmer in the back of his mind. Always there, but not a priority. To confront Illumi would feel like losing. Hisoka was here for his Hunter’s License. Once he got that he’d see how he felt. For now, he was going to show a ninja how to play cards.

Chapter Text

The fourth phase of the exam brought back more nostalgia. Wondering about a seemingly infinite forest. Playing a game of hide and seek that no one wanted to play. Hisoka found himself a comfortable place and allowed the emotion to wash over him.

He didn’t miss his old life. Not really. There were days where he found himself wishing his dishes were weighted, or that the dose of poison in his coffee was the same one he had every morning for thirteen years. He was happier now than he had ever been. Traveling on his own schedule was something that he hadn’t realized his soul had longed for until he once again had it. Still, some days it felt like a part of him would always belong to the Zoldyck’s. Their mark was gone, replaced with one of Hisoka’s own designs, but how could you forget such a large portion of your life? Was it possible to move on?

The butterflies on his shoulder reminded him of himself. Beautiful and ominous. He was content to sit here and enjoy their presence until the man with the spear showed up.

Hisoka sighed. There was no point in fighting this man. He was dying. By the looks of things, he was already halfway there. He dodged his attack effortlessly, ignoring the man’s pleas for a warrior's death. He had just started considering ending his life just so he could get back to relaxing when the man suddenly found himself full of needles.

“Sorry, I was careless and he got away.” Illumi’s mechanical voice spoke from behind him.

“You can’t lie to me,” Hisoka said. “You probably begged him to grant you a last request and you relented. Either that or you were desperate for an excuse to talk to me, so you allowed him to slip through your fingers. Well, am I right.”

Illumi ignored his last statement. “Well, I might’ve felt sorry for the man. He was going to die anyway.”

“You really need to stop pitying those who serve no purpose,” Hisoka scolded.

“You’re guilty of that yourself. You’ve walked away from opponents before finishing them.” Illumi accused.

“Unlike you, I don’t kill because I’m told to. I do have standards. Why waste time on someone who’s utterly useless? I only spare those whose premature deaths would be a waste. What about his badge?”

“Oh, I already took it. I have six points now, so I don’t really need this one. Want it?”

He tossed Hisoka the badge. He glanced it over. Not the one he was searching for.

“Is this supposed to be a consolation prize for costing me the fight of my life?” Hisoka mused.

“You got to leave with your life, shouldn’t that be prize enough?” He asked.

“It’s like you truly never knew me at all. Tell me Illumi, if I had shown up wearing a different face, would you have been able to pick me out of the crowd like I could you.”

Illumi didn’t reply. Instead, he began pulling out the pins in his face. First, the hair changed, and his face began to morph. Hisoka could hear the sound of bones moving and clicking into new shapes. It was when Illumi’s eyes reappeared that Hisoka felt his very breath leave his lungs. He had forgotten the way those eyes made him feel. It was like staring out over a sea at night. They were vast and terrifying. They were beautiful. No matter the hatred Hisoka still bore for him, he couldn’t deny he loved his eyes. Maybe he would take a page out of Chrollo’s book and keep those eyes once he killed him.

“That’s much better,” Illumi said once he was back to his true form. “I heard you joined the spiders.”

Hisoka shrugged. “I work with Chrollo on occasions.” Hisoka let his tone imply exactly what kind of work he helped him with. He knew it wouldn’t be lost on Illumi, even if he showed no signs of acknowledging it. “Why are you here Illumi?”

“I needed a Hunter’s License for a job. I did not come here to seek you out if that’s what you had assumed,” Illumi replied.

Hisoka laughed. “I wouldn’t dare assume that I was important enough for that. Unless someone had contracted you to kill me, you wouldn’t seek me out. Although, if someone had issued a contract for my life, I doubt Silva would let you take it. I don’t think he’d believe you to be capable of it. No, I assumed you were here to follow your darling little brother.”

“If you think our history would prevent me from killing you, you’re wrong,” Illumi said.

“If that’s the case, why step in to save my life? Unless you were actually worried your father was the one in danger,” Hisoka grinned. Illumi made a frustrated face.

“If you’re trying to tempt me into a fight, it won’t work,” Illumi said.

“A fight? No, I have no interest in fighting you.” Hisoka stood up, pocketing the badge Illumi had given in. There was no harm in keeping it.

Illumi looked shocked at Hisoka’s words, in his own subtle way. A twitch of his eyebrow, the slight widening of his eyes. It was Hisoka’s turn to look indifferent. He thought of Chrollo, of the young Kurta, of Gon. So many other fights he could pursue. Fights that would surely give him the rush he had been chasing.

“I’m going to finish this task. You should get some rest.” He called over his shoulder, leaving Illumi standing there.

Behind him, he heard Illumi start to call out his name but stopped. It was a relief because Hisoka wasn’t sure he’d be able to respond. His insides were twisted up in a way that made him want to scream. What right did Illumi have still getting under his skin like that? He needed to do something to get rid of this awful feeling.

Unfortunately, the first pair he came across was two people he had already decided not to kill. He got another badge from the deal, but it wasn’t anywhere near as satisfying. His blood seemed to boil in its veins. If he didn’t find someone to kill and quick he was going to go insane. It was as if every sense was heightened well past the point of being uncomfortable. The world was in such overwhelming clarity and he wanted it to go back to normal. The last time he had gotten this riled up when when he had killed that Hunter, back when he still couldn’t tell the difference between bloodlust and normal lust.

He could hear someone not too far off. It didn’t matter who it was, they were going to die. Although somewhere in the back of Hisoka’s mind he remembered that Killua was in this forest. If he killed him then Illumi....would just have to deal with it. He wasn’t sure he’d be able to stop himself.

The man he came across didn’t bother running away. Good, he wasn't in the mood for a pursuit. If the man was stupid enough to face him then so be it. Hisoka was so focused on his own murderous intent that he was once again caught off guard by a fishing rod. This time the line swung out and snagged his badge, pulling it off his shirt as it snapped back.

That was...very impressive actually. He had been able to completely hide his presence like he was using zetsu. He shouldn’t know how to do that, not when he likely didn’t even know nen existed. This kid was some sort of animal. Hisoka could feel his heartbeat increase, a sense of pride washing over him. He was able to attack because he had skillfully hidden his bloodlust behind Hisoka’s. Killua had spent his entire life being told he was special. That he was a prodigy, but he wasn’t. He was nothing compared to Gon.

Hisoka felt a sense of responsibility that he couldn’t quite explain. The world needed to see what Gon would become. Hisoka would make sure he got to the absolute top. Then, and only then, would he take him down.

Which was why he felt such a strong irritation when he saw Gon fall. The other contestant hadn’t killed him. Likely his morals would not allow him to murder a young boy. He even offered Gon some helpful advice, but Hisoka couldn’t let that stand. He killed him with little fanfare, enjoying the surprise on Gon’s face when the man fell in front of him.

Hisoka dropped Gon’s badge and his own badge in front of Gon. He didn’t need either. The person he just killed happened to have the badge number he needed and that put him at six. He wanted Gon to pass so no need to horde points. The toxin in his body would cycle through. Most people made a full recovery in ten days. There were three until the end of the fourth phase. Hisoka was confident in his ability to recover by then. He was a bit surprised to find that Gon managed to force himself to his feet almost immediately.

Gon didn’t want the win handed to him. He wanted to win on his own merit. It was a worthy endeavor. Hisoka could respect the fact that Gon didn’t want to take the easy way out. Still, Gon needed to learn his limits. So he punched him across the face. Not hard. It would swell and bruise, but Hisoka barely touched him, compared to the kind of damage he could do.

“When you can punch me in the face like that, I’ll take it back.” He agreed. He was so looking forward to that day.

The fourth task finished with nothing else of note. Hisoka found a new place to relax and dozed off, ignoring the memories that sleeping in a tree brought up. It was different. The sea breeze filled the air with salt, nothing like the thin chill of Kukuru mountain. The sounds of wildlife surrounded him in a sort of white noise. The estate had been deadly silent at almost all times. The majority of the wildlife too terrified of Mike to make their presence known.

He was well into the tenth hour of a very good nap when the shuttering of nearby leaves woke him. He smiled.

“I see you’ve survived,” Hisoka called out.

“I thought the Hunter Exam would be harder than this,” Killua confessed, sitting himself on a nearby branch. He examined Hisoka’s chest for a moment and broke out into a big grin. “Did Gon grab your badge? I was worried he wasn’t going to be able to.”

Hisoka smiled back at him. “Did you seek me out in hopes of helping your friend?”

Killua immediately flushed, the skin across his nose and cheeks turning bright pink.

“He’s not my friend,” Killua insisted. “I just met him.”

“I don’t think length of time matters to a person like Gon,” Hisoka told him.

“You sound...interested in Gon. It’s creepy,” Killua said.

Hisoka laughed. It wasn’t surprising. Most people found whatever Hisoka did creepy. “I’m an only child, so I can’t say for sure, but I imagine I feel for Gon the same thing Illumi feels for you.”

A desire to see Gon reach his true potential.

Killua made a face. “Definitely creepy then.”

Killua made himself comfortable, like he intended to stay there a while, much to Hisoka’s dismay.

“What do you think, would Gon make a good butler?” Killua asked.

Physically speaking he would. Gon was already very advanced, with some more specified training he could be unstoppable. But emotionally Gon wouldn’t be able to handle it. He wasn’t sure he had the capability of being attached, and that was a Zoldyck butler's greatest strength. It was why in the end, Hisoka couldn’t cut it. He couldn’t separate his own love of killing from the job.

“That place would suffocate him,” Hisoka told him honestly.

Killua frowned, considering the words. “Yeah, I understand the feeling.”

Killua stood up and stretched. “I’m going to see what else there is to do anyone here. You have fun with your nap you weirdo.”

Hisoka watched Killua go, gliding through the forest with practiced ease.

In the end, nine of them passed. All of Hisoka’s favorites plus a few extras. Most of them looked worse for wear.

They all loaded on an airship to take them somewhere different. Hisoka spared a glance for each of the Zoldyck brothers. Illumi was back in his chittering disguise. He looked a touch dirty but otherwise unharmed. Probably due to his tendency to burrow. He wasn’t like Hisoka who would fall asleep in an open area. He needed to feel surrounded to feel safe. Even at home, he covered himself with a small mountain of blankets. Killua looked alright, mostly relieved to see Gon on the other side.

He had been skeptical of Killua’s interest in Gon at first. It was easy to feel close to someone just because they were the same age as you. Hisoka had expected Killua to lose interest as soon as he realized the differences that came from their upbringing, but he hadn’t. Not yet. There was something there. Something familiar. A sense of longing. Judging by the way Illumi was watching them, he felt it too.

They were all called in individually for what Hisoka thought would be the final stage of the Hunter Exam. He sat in front of the chairman. Someone who looked so old and frail at first glance, but Hisoka knew better than to rely on looks. This man had an overwhelming power about him. It was delicious. Hisoka answered his questions as honestly as he could. Even telling the old man that the person he wanted to fight most was himself, only to be brushed off.

It was a sort of flight to what ended up being the actual final stage. A simple fighting bracket. It was a setup that Hisoka was used to with the exception of a few twists. There would be only one loser.

Gon was up first. His fight lasted over three hours and in the end, Gon won. Hisoka wasn’t surprised. He had an unshakable resolve and Hanzo had no desire to take a life he perceived as innocent.

Hisoka fought with the Kurta, Kurapika they called him. They were both fast, but Hisoka was not taking the fight seriously. He had already decided he would concede. After all, Kurapika had passed. They entertained the fight long enough to get close to the blond. Close enough to whisper in his ear.

“I know something interesting about spiders.”

Kurapika froze, his eyes widening just a fraction.

“I give up,” he said, already walking away from the ring. Leaving everyone wondering what had happened.

His next fight was someone he couldn’t care less about. He hadn’t stood out. The fight was rather one-sided, but the other didn’t want to give up. If he killed him, he would be disqualified. Besides, a man like him didn’t bat an eye on threats on his life. There was something he could do.

“You see that white-haired kid over there,” Hisoka whispered to the man who lay trembling on the ground. “If you don’t concede I’m going to rip him apart.”

Everyone had a weakness, and this man was a martial arts teacher. He probably taught students Killua’s age all the time. The guilt of being the cause of death for someone so young would simply be too much for him. He gave up.

And like that, he had done it. Hisoka was officially a hunter. The rest of the fights wouldn’t be of any interest, except...except Killua conceded his fight without even trying. Which put him up against...

Oh, this just got a lot more fun.

Killua didn’t know who he was about to face. He just knew the opponent was much stronger, and would probably provide a more interesting fight. No, Killua was probably more concerned about the difference in ability between him and the last guy. He didn’t want to go up against someone he could potentially hurt, not when the task specifically required leaving the other person alive. Killing was easy, but having restraint when you’d been taught to kill is very difficult.

“It’s been a while Kill,” Illumi greeted.

Killua’s confusion was palpable, but everything started to click into place when Illumi took the first needle out. He’d recognize those pins anywhere. They were Illumi’s signature weapon. Even before his face had morphed into his more recognizable form.

Killua looked terrified. He wasn’t sure why. Illumi wouldn’t hurt him, not in any permanent way. Illumi had spent his life protecting Killua from the cruelty of their parents.

Illumi sounded too much like his father. Regurgitating bullshit that he had been told his entire life. Bullshit that he for some reason chose to believe. Killua didn’t. He insisted that he didn’t want to kill anymore. That all he wanted was to be Gon’s friend.

“If you stay with him, you’ll end up wondering whether or not you can kill him,” Illumi told him.

“That’s not true! I’m not like you,” Killua snapped. “The only person who ever liked you you sold out. You nearly got him killed and then you got him fired. Just because you’re a piece of shit doesn’t mean that I’ll be one too. I’m going to be a good friend.”

Illumi’s eyes flickered to Hisoka, so quick that it would’ve been nearly unnoticeable, but Hisoka noticed.

Then Illumi threatened to kill Gon, and Hisoka didn’t bother containing his bloodlust. It was a ruse. Illumi didn’t kill outside of his contract. Furthermore, he needed to get his license for the job. Killing Gon would disqualify him. Kurapika and Leorio stepped in front of the door. Hisoka made no move to join them. If Illumi were serious, then Hisoka would stop him. If Illumi was going for Gon then Hisoka would go for Killua. A fair trade.

He wouldn’t hurt Gon then. It was a test, to see if Killua was willing to step in to protect his friend.

“Enough, take one more step away and I’ll assume the fight has begun. Come in contact with me and I’ll assume the same.” His hand was getting closer to Killua’s head. The younger boy seemed overcome with panic. He knew he couldn’t win. Illumi was older, stronger, and everything Killua was supposed to surpass some day but right now he was still a scared twelve-year-old boy.

In the end, he gave up and let Illumi win.

Illumi was not going to kill Gon, he told Killua that much, but it didn’t matter. Killua looked broken. He almost felt sorry for the kid.

Leorio’s fight was next, but it came to a quick end when Killua interrupted, killing the old man who gave up his fight to protect him. And with that death, Killua was disqualified.
Killua left and Hisoka expected Illumi to follow after him, but he didn’t. He stayed, ready to complete his task and get his hunter's license. The room was buzzing with energy. People were rather tense and Hisoka was enjoying the debate, but it became all the more fun when Gon came back. He made a beeline for Illumi, flipping him over his head with such ease.

Illumi couldn’t see what made Gon special, but he didn’t expect him to. Gon wasn’t family, so to Illumi he was nothing. Illumi’s calm demeanor only seemed to agitate Gon further. Gon couldn’t understand why Illumi didn’t believe he did anything wrong.

Even after the chairman had declared them all Hunters, and told them no exceptions would be made, Gon was not willing to drop the subject.

“I’m going to bring Killua back!” He insisted with such conviction. Illumi just stared down at him.

Hisoka tossed out a card, and it was buried in the column by Gon’s head.

“That is where you’ll find Killua. He’s likely gone home to lick his wounds. Finding the estate will be easy, but actually getting to Killua will prove to be difficult. Are you sure you’re all up to the challenge?”

Gon looked behind him surprised to see Kurapika and Leorio standing tall and determined.

“Absolutely.”

“How do you know where Killua lives?” Gon asked.

“I used to work there,” Hisoka told him. “A dreadful place, but do be sure to say hi to Mike for me.”

Gon eyed Illumi warily, who made no move to keep this information from Gon. After all, it was public knowledge. The locals knew exactly where they lived. They were even a stop on a tour.

“Your arm,” Hisoka asked, looking it over as the trio went off.

“Yes, it’s broken,” Illumi said calmly. He still felt pain, even if he knew better than to show it, and that must hurt terribly. Hisoka swallowed his concern in favor of his pride for Gon. He was strong.

“It reminds you of us doesn’t it,” Hisoka said. “His determination for friendship.”

“Gon is nothing like you. You would’ve just as likely killed me. It made you a far better ally than Gon would ever be for Killua.”

“It’s not the friendship you’re worried about is it. You can tell as well as I can that Killua has a little crush,” Hisoka said with a smile. A smile that quickly faded when he saw the way Illumi was looking at Gon.

“Don’t,” he warned with all the malice he could muster. “Gon is mine. If you kill him then I get Killua. It is a fair trade-off.”

“Hardly, but I’ll leave him be. Once he sees that they come from two different worlds, he’ll leave it be. Gon doesn’t have the stomach to accept Killua for what he is.”

Perhaps, it was hard to imagine Gon being okay with Killua killing for a living. But maybe Illumi was the one who couldn’t stomach the idea that Killua did want to be the assassin he had trained him to be.

“You’re just as cold as the day I left, Illumi,” Hisoka said. “Not to mention just as airheaded. Your inability to see beyond the scope of what you believe to be correct is what makes you so boring.”

“Boring?” Illumi question, nose wrinkling at the descriptor. Hisoka didn’t respond, he just began to walk off. This time Illumi came after him. “Are you going back to Chrollo now?”

“I might meet up with him for some fun, but I’m free to do as I please, and there's one place I’ve been dying to check out.”

He had avoided it for the last two years because it reminded him of Illumi, but now that he had seen Illumi again here, what was there to be afraid of.

Besides, he was looking forward to the challenge.

Chapter Text

Hisoka didn’t believe in a higher power, but he could understand why it was called Heaven’s Arena. The overall height of the tower was impressive. It was an architectural masterpiece, with no expense spared. This tower was the main source of revenue for the entire city. Even outside of the tower, Hisoka saw vendors selling tickets, people making shirts with the floor masters' faces, and cafes having food-themed around the arena. An entire city brought together for their love of fighting. It was something Hisoka could get used to.

He wasn’t expecting much on the lower levels. He blew threw those fights as quickly as he could, causing minimum damage. He couldn’t use weapons until he reached the two hundredth floor, and there was no point in using nen against someone so weak.

It took Hisoka a little over a week to make his way to the two-hundredth floor. Coasting his way into a nice little apartment and the promise of a decent fight. Hisoka registered for a fight immediately. He walked past a group of people who seemed determined to intimidate him, but quickly changed their minds the moment he got close enough for them to sense him.

Nen initiation they called it, and it was fun to watch. Not everyone survived the process and those that did were likely scared for life, but it showed Hisoka what everyone was made of.

There weren’t many people that Hisoka wanted to fight, but there were a few people that stood out to him. People whose talent was shining. They had peaked, and while it wouldn’t be enough to defeat him, it made for a fun fight. It was almost enough to get Hisoka’s mind off of Illumi. Almost.

He had played out his reunion with Illumi so many times since he left the estate. He had pictured it ending in bloodshed with at least one of them dead. Instead, it seemed to throw water over the little flame of anger that was still burning in Hisoka’s heart. He wasn’t angry anymore, just disappointed.

Illumi hadn’t known him. He had spent years memorizing everything about a man who would never extend the same level of involvement. He had wasted his life. That was on him. He wasn’t mad at Illumi for what he had done. He was mad because Illumi reminded him of his own failures.

“It’s crazy! They’re kids but they are so powerful. They’ve each won their fights with one hit.”

Hisoka’s ears perked up as he overheard two people talking. There weren’t many people who were that strong. He normally didn’t bother watching the fights on the lower floors, but Hisoka had to see what all of the excitement was about, and he wasn’t disappointed.

It seemed that Gon was successful in his mission to retrieve Killua. Gon already seemed to be strong since the last time he had seen him. That wasn’t altogether unexpected. It took power to make it into the Zoldyck estate, but to make it out with your life took even more.

Killua looked happy. A genuine happiness that didn’t look out of place on his face like he’d expected it to. He had the luxury that none of the other Zoldyck siblings could afford. He had a friend and he seemed to be the stronger for it.

Neither seemed to notice his presence, but he showed up to watch all of their fights. Both of them advance effortlessly. With the exception of the minor hiccup, Killua faced when encountering nen.

They still hadn’t begun training their nen. They likely didn’t even know what that was. It was a shame Killua decided to leave the estate when he did. He was at the age where he could’ve started learning. The 200th floor would not be kind to children who had no idea what true power looked like. He couldn’t allow them to place themselves in a situation where they could be killed. Not when they still had so far to go.

Hisoka waiting for them to both pass their matches on the 199th floor. He placed himself at the end of the hall, passing time by flicking cards at the wall. He could hear their lighthearted chatter come to a halt when his aura seeped through the hallway.

Neither knew what to do when they saw him. Both stood there frozen in place, fear evident on their faces.

“H-hisoka? What are you doing here?” Killua asked.

“It’s hardly strange. I love to fight and this is a temple of fighting,” he replied running his hand through his hair. “The better question is why are you here?”

“We just...wanted to get stronger,” Gon stammered.

“Good answer,” Hisoka praised. “But as a veteran, I do have a warning. It’s still too early for you boys to be on this floor.”

He waved his hand, sending a gust of wind down the hall.

“That’s stupid!” Killua called out. “We just got here.”

Hisoka glanced at him, letting malice tint his aura a threatening hue. That stopped Killua’s words.

“If I let you pass, you’d probably be killed and that would be a waste. Not that you could pass if you wanted to.”

They didn’t know what was happening. They couldn’t see it, but they could still feel it. Killua stood in place, bracing himself against the barrage of aura. Gon on the other hand continued to push through. It was impressive. Better than he expected.

“Don’t be reckless. You don’t even know how I’m stopping you right now. How can you hope to beat me?” Hisoka asked. “You have no defense against my nen.”

“Nen?” Gon questioned.

“My dear boys you are in an ocean, and you may think you can swim, but your confidence is causing you to ignore the current. If you can’t even make it back to shore, how can you expect to avoid the sharks.”

“This is nen?” Killua asked. “You can stop us through willpower alone?”

“I can do more than that, and so can everyone else on this floor.”

“You’re lying!” Killua accused. “We learned about nen. This wasn’t mentioned at all.”

“Whoever taught you was not a very good teacher then. Either that or he thought you were too young to know. Either way, he wasn’t doing you any favors.”

“So if we learn nen, then you’ll let us register?” Killua asked.

“Hey reception lady,” Gon called. “If we don’t register for a fight today, then what happens.”

“Gon, you would have to start again from the first floor. However, Killua has refused to register once before. So if he fails to register again his commitment will be questioned, and he will banned from participating.”

Gon cast a frantic look at the clock. They had twelve hours.

“Maybe if we go find Master Wing, he can help us out,” Gon said.

“He already lied to us once. What makes you think he’ll teach us now? We don’t have time.” Killua said. He looked as frustrated as Gon probably felt, but Gon was the more optimistic of the two.

Gon looked over at Hisoka. “We just need to learn nen, right? We don’t need to be good at it. Then you’ll let us pass?”

“I wouldn’t expect you to be an expert, but without a basic understanding I won’t let you pass.” Hisoka agreed.

Gon frowned. “Well, I guess there’s no way around it.” He pointed at Hisoka with such conviction that Hisoka’s eyes widened a fraction. “You’ll have to teach us.”

“Me?” Hisoka said at the same time Killua said. “Him?!”

“Sure, why not? If you want us to know, why not teach us yourself?”

Hisoka’s eyebrow twitched. He could see Gon’s logic, but what he couldn’t understand was why Gon trusted him of all people to help.

“No way. I like your first plan better. We can find four eyes. No way this clown is going to help us.” Killua said.

“He already helped me before. He told me where I could find you,” Gon told him before turning back to Hisoka. “You mentioned that you worked for Killua’s family before. You were a butler, right? Mr. Gotoh said that butlers don’t feel emotionally attached to any of the family members, but I don’t think that’s true. Mr. Gotoh wanted to make sure that I’d be a good friend to Killua, and Canary wanted to help us too. And Mr. Zebro helped us get strong enough to open the testing gate. So I think deep down you want to help us because even if you’re not a butler anymore, you still care about Killua.”

Hisoka stared at Gon, dumbfounded for a moment. His trust in others was something of a legend. He hoped one day Gon would be strong enough to survive the repercussions of that trust. In the meantime, Hisoka laughed, hard enough that he held his side.

“I promise you, I don’t care about Killua. On my list of preferred Zoldyck’s he is at the bottom.”

“What?!” Killua snapped, surprised by the revelation that he wasn’t everyone’s favorite. “You can’t honestly say you like Illumi more than me after what he did!”

“Illumi? What did he do to Hisoka?” Gon asked.

Hisoka ignored his question. “Kalluto is at the top of my list. He is always so polite.”

Killua was fuming, red-faced.

“But I suppose it can’t be helped. I will help you, but you need to understand that it is not a painless process. If you want to learn nen in a short amount of time, you’re going to have to trust me enough to let me hurt you. Can you do that?”

Killua and Gon looked at each other.

“You have a couple of chances to kill me, and you didn’t,” Gon said. “I don’t think you will now.”

Killua didn’t look as certain, but he wasn’t about to let Gon go through this alone. He nodded.

“Very well, let’s go somewhere more private.”

They ended up in Hisoka’s room.

“The right way to do this involves months of meditation and training. We don’t have months. We have close to eleven hours. What I’m going to do instead is force your aura nodes open.” Hisoka explained. “I should probably warn you that I’ve never done this before.”

“So it’s like you’ll be kicking the door down, instead of having us pick the lock ourselves?” Killua asked nervously.

“More like I’m blowing the walls of the house down. Are you ready? You can hold each other's hand if you need it.”

Killua’s fear left him in favor of embarrassment. “We don’t need that! We’ll be fine. Just get on with it!”

Hisoka had an idea of how to do this. He had read about it in his studies and he had seen it done. It was better that Hisoka do this than someone else. Hisoka had complete control of his nen and his body, unlike so many other careless individuals. But if Illumi ever figured out he did this, he would probably try to kill him. To hold Killua’s life in his hand like this was rather exciting. His pulse was racing as he held out his hand.

They scream, but he expects them to. It was a painful process. It was as if he was tearing into their bodies. Flooding their souls with enough trauma that they had no choice but to respond in kind. When he could feel their auras begin to flow out like an open wound, he stopped.

“Th-this?” Killua was looking at his own hand. Surprised to see the brilliant white aura now flowing from it.

“That is your aura or your life energy. You can see it now.” Hisoka said smiling proudly. He had been a little worried that he was going to kill them by accident. He was glad that was not the case.

“It’s like smoke,” Gon remarked.

“This is crazy. It’s rushing out of my body,” Killua said.

“Yes, that’s not a good thing,” Hisoka warned them and both of their eyes widened. “It is your life energy after all. Lose too much and you’ll get tired. You’ll probably even pass out.”

“What do we do? How do we make it stop?” Gon asked.

“It’s simple. Just concentrate on keeping it in your body,” Hisoka shrugged.

“Simple? That doesn’t sound simple! How do we do that?”

“Close your eyes. Visualize your aura like the blood flowing through your body. Lose too much blood and it's all over. Now picture yourself stopping the flow, slowly like pressure on a wound. Don’t try to cauterize it. Let it surround your body like a shroud.”

It clicked into place almost instantly. He watched as they got their auras under control. They were incredible, but Hisoka had expected nothing less.

“There, now how do you feel?”

“Weird,” Gon admitted. “Like I’m covered in warm mucus.”

Hisoka made a face. That...was a gross description.

“Well, there you have it. Unfortunately, this is where our lessons stop. You are free to register for your fight now, but I’m not a very good teacher. If you want to learn more you’ll have to sort it out yourselves.”

“What?” Gon exclaimed. “C’mon.”

“You’re really just going to leave us high and dry like that?” Killua asked.

“I’ve already done you a greater kindness than anyone else on this floor would have,” Hisoka said. “In fact, you both owe me a favor.”

“A favor huh?” Killua grumbled.

“I don’t know about a favor, but how about a fight?” Gon asked. “Give me some time to get the hang of this and we can have a match. I still need to give you that badge back.”

Hisoka smiled. Gon knew just the right words to say. “You have yourself a deal. Now you better hurry along if you want to meet your deadline.”

“Right!” Gon and Killua said at the same time.

He watched them leave, a bit more exhausted than he would care to admit. People like Gon and Killua were really one in ten million. They would never find a teacher that would truly help them reach their limits. Hisoka knew that all too well. But anyone would be able to help them with the basics.

Hisoka kept an eye on the two of them as they made their way through several fights, each time getting better. He even made sure to put on a show of his own fighting someone who was almost worth his time, although Gon was sadly absent from the audience that day. Finally, Gon faced him in the ring. It was an improvement from the last time they fought, but Gon accomplished his goal. He got one solid hit on Hisoka, and while he had lost the match, he had given Hisoka the badge back. Hisoka couldn't help but beam. He was going to grow into something extraordinary.

“Killua and I are going to leave now,” Gon had told him after the fight. “We’re going to visit my aunt on Whale Island.”

“You shouldn’t make a habit of telling people where you’re going to go,” Hisoka warned. “You never know what unsavory character may be listening.”

“Ah, right,” Gon looked sheepish. “I hope you have fun fighting. I’m sure we’ll meet again, and when we do I’m going to be even stronger!”

“I’m sure you will,” Hisoka said. “Take this. For emergencies only.”

He handed gone a playing card, the jack of diamonds. It had his cell number scrawled across the face.

Gon took it and put it in his pocket. “Right, well thanks again for your help. Bye!”

Hisoka waved Gon goodbye and watched him meet up with an impatient Killua. He was looking forward to when they’d meet again.

Chapter Text

There were so many benefits to being a floor master in Heaven’s Arena. There was of course the obvious benefit to having a whole floor to yourself. A sparkling penthouse with all of the amenities Hisoka could ask for. It had several bedrooms in addition to the master bedroom with a walk-in closet that Hisoka claimed as his own. There were three bathrooms including the master bathroom that had a rain shower with a separate jacuzzi tub for soaking and a built-in lighted vanity. There was a state-of-the-art kitchen with appliances that he had to look up their use. He had a full oven, a microwave, and a toaster oven, which seemed a bit excessive. A French door refrigerator that was already filled with Hisoka’s favorite snacks and drinks. There was even a built-in spice rack. It made Hisoka wish he knew how to cook, not that he needed to. He could call down to the front desk at any time and request whatever food he wanted. They had chefs on sight in a private kitchen, but they would also go out and grab takeout from local restaurants. He had a breathtaking view from his living room window. He felt like he was at the top of the world. In addition to that he had access to the best training facility money could buy, a full-service salon, and even spa services.

He was also receiving his first steady paycheck in years plus a bonus for any fights he did. The best part about being a floor master, in Hisoka’s opinion, was that he didn’t have to fight any random person. He was free to fight if he wanted, but he had the luxury of picking only those he thought would be fun unless he was challenged. As it turned out most people weren’t interested in challenging Hisoka. Not after the brutality that they witnessed in the arena.

Hisoka was tempted to invite Chrollo over. It had been a while since he had someone in his bed. It had been before the Hunter’s Exam. He had a small fanbase that stood at the base of the tower screaming his name, but the thought of bedding some sniveling fan instantly made his hard-on deflate.

The only thing that stopped him was remembering that Chrollo was a thief at heart. If Hisoka opened his door to him, Chrollo was more likely to slip out and take anything he found interesting from the other floor masters than he was to spend the day in bed with him. He didn’t mind Chrollo’s thievery, but he didn’t want to feel second place to things. He settled for sending a picture of his view, but Chrollo hadn’t bothered responding.

Gon had sent him a picture from what he said was his aunt’s phone. He assumed it was somewhere on Whale Island. He wasn’t sure what wires in his brain got crossed enough to decide that Hisoka was his friend. As if Hisoka wasn’t planning on killing him someday. Although, Hisoka had wanted to kill anyone he had ever considered a friend, so maybe Gon was onto something.

He rolled these thoughts around in his mind as he returned from a late-night walk. He had gone out without his hair gelled back and without makeup. It was rare, but small changes made him harder to recognize and he was able to slip past the fans without anyone being the wiser. He had no reason to go out other than the night was nice and he liked to walk to clear his head. When he returned, his hand stalled on his door knob. There was someone inside. They were using zetsu to hide their presence, but Hisoka was a highly suspicious person by nature. He could feel the subtle changes that came with the addition of human life.

Hisoka had a card at the ready when he opened the door. He had only recently got the place in order and he didn’t want to bother with tidying up. Hopefully whoever was inside wouldn’t mind moving the fight elsewhere.

“You’ll have to excuse the mess. I wasn’t expecting company,” Hisoka called out into the dark as he entered the penthouse.

“This could hardly be considered a mess,” a familiar voice responded.

The shock was almost enough to make him drop his guard, even if he knew it was dangerous to do so. “Illumi?”

He flipped on the light. Illumi sat perfectly straight at the dining room table that Hisoka never used. Hisoka had been out most of the evening so it was impossible to tell how long Illumi had been waiting.

“It is odd hearing you call me Illumi,” he confessed. He wasn’t looking at Hisoka, instead, he was staring down at his hands that were folded neatly on the table.

“It is your name,” Hisoka reminded him.

“But you always preferred to use some ridiculous nickname,” Illumi said in retort. As if Hisoka needed the reminder. As if Hisoka hadn’t memorized the way Illumi’s nose would wrinkle whenever he called him darling.

“That was back when I liked you.” Hisoka didn’t let go of the card. He couldn’t rule out a fight. Still, he allowed himself enough relaxation to take off his coat. The heavyweight was already starting to bend the hook that was installed in the wall by the door. After years of weighted clothing, regular jackets felt too light. Like he would float away. “Besides, you always despised those nicknames.”

“I didn’t...not really,” Illumi said back quietly.

Hisoka studying Illumi. After years of leaving Hisoka alone, there was only one reason why he would bother him now. “If you’re looking for Killua, you just missed him. He and Gon already left.”

“I know. I’ve been tracking him. Father said not to intervene for now,” Illumi said. “But I’m not here for him.”

Hisoka stared at him in disbelief. Illumi’s life had more or less revolved around Killua since he made it his mission to mold him into the perfect heir. Why else would Illumi come here? Unless someone had finally contracted someone to kill him. It wasn’t out of the question. Hisoka had a lot of enemies and Heaven’s Arena had thrust him into the spotlight that he had desperately missed. The recognition in addition to his time in the spiders was a bit of a dangerous combination. But if Illumi wanted to kill him, he wouldn’t be talking. Illumi was nothing if not efficient.

“I want to talk to you. We didn’t speak much at the Hunter’s Exam,” Illumi looked almost nervous. His confidence faded in favor of rare uncertainty.

“Yes, that was on purpose,” Hisoka told him, hands resting on his hips. “We may have a history, but you made it very clear that we are not friends. I only want to spend time talking to my friends.”

Illumi was fiddling with his hands, a habit he had mostly grown out of. A habit born out of anxiety. Hisoka remembered when Illumi was barely fourteen when he had broken his own finger twisting them up. The sharp snap of bone grounded him back into reality. Hisoka had scolded him for that, not wanting to see the benefit in causing himself harm. He wouldn’t scold him now. It wasn’t any of his business, even if part of his mind was screaming that Illumi would always be his business.

“You’re upset with me because I didn’t give you the chance to fight my father.” Illumi’s words were a statement, not a question. Once again he jumped to his own conclusion and treated it as fact.

Hisoka hated it. He hated that Illumi’s world was limited to what he allowed himself to believe. He hated that Hisoka had spent the past two years ignoring the pain that Illumi couldn’t fully understand causing. Most of all, he hated that he couldn’t hate Illumi, because he knew that Illumi was the product of parents with no love and high expectations. Illumi had adapted into the person he is because if he hadn’t he would’ve been truly alone. No better off than Alluka locked in her room. Silva and Kikyo had locked Illumi up in his own mind.

Hisoka let his emotions overwhelm his rational thinking. He flipped over the oak dining table. It hit the ground with a bang that bounced off the walls of the penthouse. Illumi didn’t move from his chair. He didn’t even flinch. Violence was what he was expecting. It was what was familiar.

Illumi didn’t know. He didn’t understand. He wouldn’t if Hisoka kept quiet. That wasn’t fair to either of them. “I’m not upset with you. I am upset with myself for falling in love with someone who thought my feelings were nothing more than the result of his manipulation as if I didn’t spend years pulling teeth to get you to consider me anything close to a friend. I’m upset because I poured so much of myself into a relationship knowing that you couldn’t meet me halfway and I still don’t know what possessed me to do that. I’m upset because after everything I sacrificed you still somehow think that you were the mastermind, as if I didn’t make it very clear that my actions were completely my own. I didn’t expect you to love me back. I just thought-” Hisoka felt the words get caught in his throat. He felt stupid all over again. Illumi was staring at him with his big beautiful eyes. Illumi knew never to be vulnerable in front of others. Hisoka should’ve known too. He had taken a risk, but in the end, there was no reward. He could feel the burning in his eyes threatening to spill over if he said another word.

“I’m sorry if I hurt you,” Illumi whispered the apology like he was confessing to murder on his deathbed.

“You can’t hurt me. You don’t even know me.” The only one who had the power to hurt him was himself.

“Hisoka, I-”

A quick knock on the front door stalled their conversation.

“Sir, there was a report of a disturbance,” a voice from the other side called.

“The disturbance was just leaving,” Hisoka called back. He looked at Illumi, his mask cracked. “Unless you’re planning on killing outside of a contract I suggest you leave.”

“I’m not done talking to you,” Illumi said frantically, like a glass vase had slipped through his fingers and was tumbling quickly to the floor. Hisoka didn’t want to catch it. He wanted to see it break.

“Well, I’m done listening. This area is for floor masters only. See yourself out.”

For a second Illumi’s distress was clear on his face. He looked so raw that the feeling seemed to ripple through the air, piercing Hisoka’s heart. Hisoka had been the only person to give Illumi his full attention. To have Hisoka here brushing him off like his family had done for years it had to have hurt. Or at least Hisoka hoped that it did. Why should he be the only one in pain?

Illumi collected himself, his neutral expression returning to his face once more. He saw himself out without another word and Hisoka locked the door behind him.

Hisoka looked at the table on the ground and decided to let it be for now. Maybe he would call Chrollo.

Chapter Text

The day after Illumi broke into Hisoka’s penthouse, he requested a fight. His opponent was an earnest thing. She was older than Hisoka by a year or two and she was in her prime. She had been training more of her life. That much was clear in the way she controlled her body. He wasn’t sure what her motivation to fight him was, but she seemed to believe that her strength was greater than his because people had faith in her. She didn’t scream when he killed her. Hisoka respected her for that. After that, he locked himself in his penthouse.

It was all in his head, he was sure of it, but his house smelled like mint and eucalyptus. Like Illumi’s shampoo. Like Illumi.

Illumi must’ve known he was in contract with Gon, and by extension Killua. He’d have no other reason to come by. Illumi only had allowed himself one selfish thing and in the end, he couldn’t even stand that. Hisoka would be a fool to think Illumi was still selfish when it came to him. If he was seeking out Hisoka it meant the family needed something from him. Hisoka didn’t care about Killua, but he would help the kid disappear if it meant annoying the Zoldyck family.

After his disappointing easy fight, Hisoka settled into his penthouse and prepared to do something that was decidedly not moping. He just needed some extended self-care. He took some baths, slept in as late as he wanted, and even tried to make use of his kitchen. Chrollo was not responding to his booty call, so he had been left to entertain the fact that the only reliable friend in his arsenal was a twelve-year-old boy who would probably consider a tree a friend if he spent enough time with it.

Hisoka had never been alone before, not like this. Back at the estate, there was always someone to bother, and when he traveled he was constantly meeting new people to keep him entertained.

It took him just over a week before he decided that he was going to go watch some fights just so he could be alone around other people, but when he opened the door to leave a small woman dressed in employee clothing was standing there prepared to knock.

“Ah! Mr. Hisoka. I’m so sorry,” she said frantically.

“No need to apologize. Was there something I can do for you?” He asked.

“Yessir. You’ve been challenged,” she informed him.

“Challenged?” Now that was a delicious surprise. “By who?”

“A new commer. He only just registered a week ago, but he rose through the ranks very fast. He just received his seventh win on the 200th floor and he wants to challenge you.”

Now that was interesting. To pass that quickly and immediately challenge him, that was someone with a goal in mind. Perhaps even a vendetta. They were seeking him out, but for what. To avenge his family? To punish him for all of the cruel things he had done. Any one of those would make for a fun fight.

“Very well, I’ll fight him tomorrow,” he told her.

“Tomorrow? That’s such short notice. Are you sure?” She asked.

“I’m sure.”

“O-okay. Yes of course. We will make all of the arrangements. I have your competitor's files right here. His name is-”

“Now, don’t spoil the surprise.” He cut her off.

“But he already knows all about you and your abilities.” She reminded him.

“Oh I’m sure he does, but I don’t need to know anything about him. I’m sure I’ll find out tomorrow.”

“Right,” she sounded unsure, but she knew better than to question Hisoka. “I will send you the official time once it’s been scheduled. Have a good day, Mr. Hisoka.” She bowed before quickly making her exit.

Hisoka felt his body tingle. The depression left his body at the thought of a good fight. He’d have to sort through his closet for the perfect outfit. One must look their best on a first date after all.

His fight had been scheduled for 7 p.m. the following day. He felt a twinge of pride knowing that he was given the prime slot. This was the first time he had ever been officially challenged for his floor after all. He had just gotten moved in, he had no intention of moving out any time soon.

He could hear the hum of the crowd through the walls as he waited for his time to enter the arena. Somewhere people were chanting his name. They were probably wearing t-shirts with his face on them, maybe holding homemade posterboards. He wasn’t sure what kind of people would be fans of his, but they had to be some sort of freaks.

Finally, the announcer called his name and he stepped forward into the arena, the bright lights bathing him in their radiant glow. The warmth soaked into his skin. He was in his element.

“And his competitor. A fierce fighter who has never lost a single match. He climbed all the way up through the second floor in just one week, setting a new Heaven’s Arena record! Put your hands together for Illumi!”

What?

Illumi stepped into the arena, paying little attention to the screaming crowd calling for his head to be ripped from his body. He tucked a loose strand of hair behind his ear and looked at Hisoka.

Illumi had fought his way to the top of Heaven’s Arena just to fight Hisoka? He placed a hand over his heart, ignoring the way it seemed to skip a beat.

“Ready? Begin!” The announcer called.

Hisoka seemed to be rooted in place, but so did Illumi. Neither one was ready to make the first move.

“What are you doing?” Hisoka asked.

“You said I was not allowed in your home because I am not a floor master. I couldn’t think of another way to meet with you.” Illumi pulled out a long needle. He gathered his hair back with one hand, delicately twisting the pin until his hair sat neatly piled in a bun. “You haven’t spared with me since I was a teenager. I’m much better now.”

“Good enough to beat me?” Hisoka asked.

“I suppose we’ll see.”

They launched into battle then. While they were skilled at close combat, both gravitated to ranged weaponry. Maybe it said something about who they were as people. How they didn’t like to be close to anyone. How they preferred to keep everyone at a distance.

Illumi was better than when they had last fought. He was fast, stronger, and more confident with his movements. Hisoka was better too. He had experience fighting a wider variety of people with different nen styles. He sought out challenges, as opposed to going for the most efficient kill. He saw his opening, sending a card out. He was prepared to see it sink into the flesh of Illumi’s shoulder, but the other caught it instead. He realized belatedly that the card he had tossed out was the king of hearts. Illumi looked at it for a moment before sticking his hand in his pocket. Out of it, he pulled a small beaten keychain. The chain had been changed, now a shining sterling silver. Much harder to break.

“I keep it with me whenever I have to leave home,” Illumi confessed to him.

“Why?” Hisoka asked, surprised he even still had it.

“Because it’s like I have you with me.”

Illumi used Hisoka’s surprise as a distraction and he managed to get a pin in Hisoka’s side. He plucked it out before he could begin to feel numb from the needle pinching his nerve.

“You said you didn’t expect me to love you,” Illumi said, not even a little breathless as the battle raged on. “But the truth is I did love you. I didn’t know what it was but once I did I realized that I had loved you from the moment we met. Not like I loved my brothers. There was no sense of duty. It was something deeper, something I told myself was never allowed.”

“When did you realize?” Hisoka asked him.

“When I was twelve and you saved my life.”

That nearly made Hisoka lose his footing. That long? Illumi had known he loved him far before Hisoka had figured it out.

“I decided that it was okay because nothing would ever come of it. Even after we started having sex, I could pretend that it was just for physical release. That you only treated me that way because you were new to intimate relationships and you thought you needed to play things out the way you had read about them in books. When you confessed I was terrified.”

Hisoka’s card grazed his cheek, and a thin line of blood appeared, but Illumi didn’t care.

“I wanted you more than I ever wanted anything. I thought my father would understand. Killua and Milluki ask for things all the time, and he never tells them no. I thought...I was stupid. I should’ve understood what I was risking, but I didn’t. You were going to die, and it was all my fault.”

Another needle sunk into him, his arm this time, the whole appendage cramping up terribly, making it difficult to move. Difficult but not impossible.

“Then Kalluto came to me in tears, wanting to know why I would betray you if you were my friend and I knew that I had to do something. I couldn’t rationalize why someone like you would ever love something as broken as me, but I knew if I could make my father understand that it was my fault, then he would let you go. I wasn’t sure it would work. It was probably the only kind thing he had ever done for me.”

They were closer now, weapons put aside in favor of fists. Illumi’s hair was starting to unravel, falling in his face.

“I thought with you gone the feeling would go away, but it didn’t. I took jobs, I trained my brothers, and I sat in my room. I had no reason to go out anymore. There wasn’t anyone else I wanted to talk to. The day I heard you joined Chrollo I killed three butlers out of anger. He is exactly your type. He’s strong. He’s interesting, and he isn’t trapped. I knew you’d like him better than me and I hated him for it. I don't think I had ever hated anyone before. I had never seen the point. There wasn't a point this time. It was my fault you were gone, who am I to stop you from choosing someone else? Then Kill left, and I followed after, and there you were.”

He remembered the jealous look in Illumi’s eyes the night he had killed Julien. He wondered how he’d look going after Chrollo.

“You looked ridiculous. Your outfit was weird and you had makeup, and somehow you looked more like yourself than you ever had before. I knew you were better off away from the estate, but I wanted to be selfish again. I wanted you back, but you didn’t love me anymore. You were cold, and you called me Illumi. I hated it, and I hated that I hated it. It made my stomach twist into knots the way it did when you first pointed out that I didn't know your name. The reminder that I was inferior.”

Hisoka spit out blood after Illumi’s hit collided with his jaw.

“Killua’s friends went to the estate. They got him back. They were willing to fight for him. They weren’t nearly strong enough but they were going to fight anyway. They barely knew him, and they were already willing to risk everything. I had you for thirteen years and I let you go without any resistance. If Gon was going to fight for Killua, why wouldn’t I fight for you?”

Hisoka kicked Illumi’s legs out from under him.

“I needed to tell you everything. You spent our whole lives filling my ears with endless chatter, but it was my turn. I was going to make you listen the only way I knew how. I’d give you the fight you always wanted, and when it’s over, if you don’t want me, I’ll go.”

It was more than Hisoka had ever heard Illumi say in one go. Illumi only spoke when it was important, and even then only strong verbs and short sentences. He was content with silence in a way Hisoka would never be. This was important, so he spoke words that were like a symphony to Hisoka’s ears. All of the emotions Illumi had felt for him came pouring out in stanzas.

Hisoka didn’t know if he wanted to laugh or cry. Maybe it was something in between. Nothing mattered because Illumi wanted him. Illumi was willing to fight for him. Illumi loved him.

“Oh, Illu. I never stopped wanting you.”

He kissed him, pinning his wrists about his head with one hand. The crowd around them went silent with shock. The announcer was saying something, but Hisoka couldn’t make out the words. It didn’t matter. Illumi melted into the kiss, completely surrendering himself like he never truly had before. He had already barred his soul, he had nothing left to hide. The mask was off, cast into the fire. Rest in peace.

“Unless you’re into voyeurism I suggest we take this back to my room,” he whispered into Illumi's ear.

Illumi nodded. He let Hisoka help him to his feet. “I withdraw,” Illumi called out, letting Hisoka lace his fingers with his.

“Wh-what? In a shocking turn of events, Illumi has chosen to withdraw from the fight, making Hisoka our winner!”

Hisoka didn’t even glance at the crowd, he kept his eyes on Illumi, just in case all of this was a dream.

“Now, take me to bed,” Illumi said in a tone that was far more serious than the request he made.

“Whatever you want my darling.” He kissed Illumi’s hand gently and then tugged him out of the arena and away from all of the prying eyes.

Chapter Text

Throughout his life, Hisoka had traveled great distances on foot. If he tallied it all up he probably circled the globe a handful of times, but the walk from the arena to his penthouse was the longest walk of his life.

Illumi was smiling. A little barely there smile that spoke volumes about how happy he was. Hisoka could barely contain himself. He didn’t want to let go of Illumi ever again, as unpractical as it was. After living for thirteen years with threads of Illumi Zoldyck wrapped around every finger, he had felt untethered these last two years, and finally, he was pulled back to earth.

He didn’t want to say that he felt complete. That didn’t quite explain it. Hisoka was whole without Illumi. They were not two halves of one soul. They were their own distinct people. But Hisoka preferred the person he was when he was with Illumi. He was more inspired and more challenged. Maybe that was what it meant to be loved.

The door closed behind them with a harder slam than either intended, but they didn’t care. Illumi pressed Hisoka against the door as soon as it closed, kissing him hard enough that Hisoka bit the skin inside his mouth. He didn’t mind the copper twang that coated his tongue, and neither did Illumi.

Illumi kissed like he did anything. He had a plan before any action and kissing was no exception. Hisoka used to make it a game of how quickly he could get Illumi to unravel. It wasn’t taking much today. Hisoka’s hand coupled Illumi's face, softly smearing blood across his cheek with his thumb. Illumi seemed to stutter in his movements.

Hisoka hissed as Illumi pulled the needle from his arm, not breaking the kiss. He let it fall to the ground uncaring. Hisoka wrapped his arms around Illumi, lifting him into the air. Illumi wrapped his legs around his waist. Despite the other’s thin frame, Illumi was solid muscle. He wasn’t exactly light, but Hisoka held him so effortlessly it was as if his bones were hollow. Hisoka didn’t know if Illumi had ever been held. Perhaps when he was very young. Hisoka remembered seeing Killua and Kalluto wrapped carefully in his protective grip. Hisoka would carry Illumi everywhere if he asked, and he did hope that he asked.

“Are you planning on taking me to bed, or are you fucking me in the entryway?” Illumi asked when he pulled back.

“My plan is to fuck you in every room on every surface,” Hisoka informed in, truth ringing in every word.

“How romantic.” Illumi deadpanned.

“Make no mistake, I’m going to give you romance. I am going to take you on every date I can think of, but for now, I plan on relearning my body.” Hisoka promised.

He carried Illumi to his bedroom with the intention of throwing him onto the bed, but Illumi refused to let go, not ready to be separated. So instead Hisoka stumbled down with him. They tangled themselves in each other as they kissed. Hisoka’s lips were sore from the action they were getting, in addition to the several hits he had recently taken to the face, but that only added to the experience. The pain weaving itself through the pleasure made Hisoka feel alive.

He pulled back, grabbing Illumi’s shirt and tugging it off. The fabric clung to his body, damp with sweat. It caught on the pin in Illumi’s hair, sending it tumbling out of his bun, falling around him, framing his face like a dark halo. Illumi’s chest was covered in cuts and rapidly darkening bruises. Proof of Hisoka’s passion coloring his body.

Illumi tugged impatiently on Hisoka’s shirt, which he removed with a smile. Illumi flipped them around, lips trailing along his shoulder, across his chest, and finally up his neck. They were feather-light kisses. The kind that made Hisoka squirm. He hated being teased, but Illumi always made it worth the wait.

He thrust his hands down the back of Illumi’s pants, grabbing his ass and pushing their hips together.

“Shit,” Illumi hissed. He was already hard, but Hisoka had no room to judge, he was as well. He bit into Hisoka’s shoulder with a low groan, rocking into the friction as Hisoka ground at a steady pace.

He shoved Illumi’s pants down halfway so he could take hold of his cock, perfectly manicured fingers wrapping their way around him. He felt Illumi thrust up into his hand, desperate for a firmer grip. Hisoka didn’t comply, letting his fingers stay closed as he lazily worked his hand.

“Hisoka,” Illumi said, a hint of warning in his tone. He was in no mood to be teased either.

Hisoka pulled his hand away completely, pulling on his own pants, trying to shimmy out of them the best he could. Illumi sat up, doing the same.

Once they were both naked, Hisoka shoved Illumi back down, attacking his chest.

Illumi cried out sweetly. He was even more sensitive than the last time Hisoka had touched him.

“Do you think you could come just from this?” Hisoka asked, rubbing both of his nipples with careful movements.

“I-it’s likely, but I don’t want to find out right now. I need you inside of me.” Illumi said.

“Is that so? I suppose next time I will have to give it a try.” Hioksa stretched out to reach his nightstand, feeling around for lube and condoms. He squeezed a generous amount on his fingers, going between Illumi’s legs.

Two fingers glided in with hardly any resistance. Illumi already felt loosened. Hisoka looked at him in disbelief.

“Did you finger yourself before our fight?” He asked.

“I had hoped it would end like this,” Illumi confessed.

Hisoka could picture it, Illumi in the bathroom stall, fingers shoved up inside of him, trying to make sure he was ready just in case Hisoka had taken him there in the arena. Illumi knew how fights caused his blood to rush south. He knew if he had gotten through to Hisoka they would end up like this.

“I love you so much,” he said with a big grin. His fingers were still moving inside of Illumi causing the other to pant.

“I love you too,” Illumi replied, and Hisoka nearly came right there. The way those words curled around his lips was perfection. The way his half-lidded eyes stared up at him was a sight Hisoka wanted to be branded into his mind.

He pulled his hand out, putting on a condom as quickly as he could. He kept Illumi right where was, on his back. He wanted to see him. As Hisoka pushed his way inside, Illumi wrapped his arms around Hisoka, holding him close.

Illumi’s voice filled the room as Hisoka fucked him. Every trust was punctuated by some sort of sound. Nothing was forced, it wasn’t pornographic, it was simply the result of his mind turning off. He kept his sounds locked away after years of learning no one would listen, but Hisoka had stripped away that lock. He had long since lost the key, and now Illumi had no choice but to let himself be heard.

He didn’t beg, but he demanded. He selfishly requested Hisoka move fast or harder or that he stop moving around because he was so close to that spot deep inside that made Illumi come so hard he once blacked out. Illumi’s nails were raking their way down Hisoka’s back, catching on old wounds or agitating more recent ones. Hisoka made no move to stop him. He simply did as Illumi commanded until he felt his orgasm approaching. He let out a few shakey breaths, trying to keep everything at bay until Illumi had come. He was close.

The two of them were pressed too closely together for Hisoka to take Illumi in his hand, but the friction of Hisoka’s stomach rubbing against him seemed to do that trick. Illumi clenched around him, eyes widening as he came, covering them both. Hisoka let himself go then, riding out his own orgasm in pure bliss.

Once they finished they laid together in comfortable silence. Hisoka pulled himself out, trying to not be too far from Illumi. He made himself comfortable next to him, ignoring the mess drying on his stomach. Illumi scooted closer still, resting his head on Hisoka’s chest. He ran his fingers through Illumi’s hair gently. He knew they should probably get out of bed and clean up. It was embarrassing the way his heart fluttered when he remembered they could come back to bed after they showered. They didn’t have to speak in hushed voices or rush back home. They were home.

Hisoka was home.

The moment was interrupted by the sound of Illumi’s cell phone ringing.

“Ignore it,” Hisoka said, wrapping his arms tightly around Illumi.

“That’s Milluki’s ringtone. He’ll just keep calling until I answer.”

“I’m sure he’ll give up eventually.”

“He called me sixty-two times the last time I ignored him.”

“Maybe you should turn off your phone,” Hisoka offered instead.

“Then he’ll call you.” Illumi reluctantly pulled himself out of his grasp, crawling to where his pants had landed.

“Hello Milluki,” he answered.

Illumi pulled the phone away from his ear as Milluki’s voice came through at a volume even Hisoka could hear.

“Are you crazy?! You know that Floor Master fights are televised right? Everyone saw you sucking face with that clown!”

“I prefer magician,” Hisoka said.

Milluki made a distressed sound upon realizing that Hisoka was currently in the room with his older brother. “This isn’t funny Illumi! Mom is pissed.”

“Well that is hardly new,” Illumi replied. “I was under the impression that I was an adult. I’m perfectly capable of making my own decisions. I’ll stay with Hisoka until she calms down.”

That made Hisoka smile. Illumi could do with more boundaries.

“Do you really like him?” Milluki asked after a moment of hesitation.

“I do,” he replied.

“You have weird tastes, but... it works somehow.”

“I know. I’m going to hang up now. I’m feeling rather sticky and I’d like to take a shower.”

“Gross! I did not need to know that.”

Milluki hung up the phone and Illumi set it down on the nightstand for easier access. He’d need to get Illumi a phone charger. Perhaps more clothes to keep here, although he would look dashing in Hisoka’s ensembles.

“Come back to bed,” Hisoka said reaching out an arm.

“No, we need to shower,” Illumi said.

“Together?”

“We are not having sex again right now. I am tired and I feel gross. Maybe after a nap.”

“Of course darling,” Hisoka agreed, climbing out of bed. “Whatever you say.”

Hisoka kissed the top of Illumi’s head before he went into the bathroom to start heating up the water.

Life was good.

Epilogue

Hisoka never expected to be back here. Kukuroo Mountain felt like a lifetime ago. Even Illumi hardly went back to the estate anymore, opting to stay with Hisoka in his penthouse. He had given Illumi his own room, although they usually slept together in Hisoka’s. It was easier, and Illumi appreciated having a space with privacy for once in his life.

It was Illumi’s idea to visit the estate. He thought given the recent advancement in their relationship, reintroductions were in order. This was of course ignore the fact that Hisoka had specifically been banned from the estate when he was let go. Illumi promised it would be fine, but Hisoka was hoping that someone would try to stop him. He was itching for a fight.

Hisoka and Illumi were happy together, but recently it was decided that they were taking things to the next level. Everything escalated so quickly. Hisoka was not an easy person to catch off guard, but Illumi seemed to do it time and time again.

Illumi had just gotten off the phone with his mother. She had been wailing about his betrayal. About how he had abandoned his family. Hisoka wondered if Kalluto got the same treatment since he took over Hisoka’s spot on the spiders.

“You look tired,” Hisoka commented.

“My mother’s emotions are exhausting.”

“Well, I suppose there’s no way around it. We need to get married. Once we are I’ll be family and she will have no reason to complain.”

He had expected Illumi to brush it off, or maybe even lash out. Instead, his eyes brightened.

“Yes, if you were my husband she’d understand that I am still committed to family.”

Hisoka blinekd once, and then again.

“You’d actually want to marry me?”

“Of course. I love you. I wouldn’t want to spend my life with anyone else. Killua is the heir, so I’m not expected to have any children, so that shouldn’t be an issue.”

He said those words so casually as if he didn’t just confess to wanting to spend the rest of their lives together. To Illumi it wasn’t a confession, it was simply fact.

“Okay, yes. We’ll get married. Should I buy you a ring?”

“That won’t be necessary. We’ll exchange bands at our ceremony. You’ll be taking my last name of course.”

“But of course, I’m not particularly attached to mine.”

“Do you think Killua would return home for the wedding?” Illumi asked, his eyes sparkling like he was already planning the ceremony.

“If we invite Gon, Killua would surely follow.”

Illumi wasn’t overly fond of Gon, but the younger boy had wormed his way into Hisoka’s life. It made it easy to track Gon’s progress, but Hisoka was beginning to understand the annoyance that came with having a younger brother. In the end, Illumi agreed to Gon’s presence but drew the line at Mike in a tuxedo.

They decided to tell Illumi’s parents in person, which is why they found themselves back at Kurkuroo Mountain. Hisoka pushed open the testing gate with one hand, the other still holding Illumi’s.

The walk through the forest felt as familiar as his favorite story. He didn’t need to think, he just let his body move on autopilot as Illumi listened to his endless chatter.

A soft breeze ruffled Illumi’s hair, blowing a small lead into the silky black strands.

Hisoka laughed.

The End