Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

“Are you sure it’s the right thing to do, Merlin ?”

“Yes, it is what I must do. My destiny has been fulfilled, and Arthur is the king he was destined to be. I am not useful here anymore, especially since he took in another manservant, and you became Court Sorcerer. I must go, this is what it tells me to.”

“Camelot will miss you, you know.”

“I do, and I will miss Camelot too. I will come back, someday. I promise you.”

“When will you leave ?”

“Tomorrow, after the sunset. I won’t say goodbye to everyone, I won’t be able to.”

“Even to Arthur ?”

“Especially to Arthur.”

Gaius sighed. He didn’t even have the strength to raise his eyebrow. He bid Merlin goodnight, and turned himself around. Merlin had grown up to be such a fine adult. He was proud of him, of everything he did, for Camelot. For Arthur. He had given up everything for him, and now was the natural time for him to leave. To live his life. But still, he was worried. Merlin was still young, and Gaius had raised him ever since he came to Camelot, all those years ago. He felt like his son was leaving the family’s house.

***

After bidding goodnight to Gaius, Merlin went into his room. It was messy, as usual. But this time, he had to pack, for good. He took his old bag, the one he arrived in Camelot with, and put whatever he thought he needed into it. Books, some clothes (mostly Arthur’s old clothes, they were of much better quality than Merlin’s), the new dixie he bought a few days ago, and other things that were scattered across the floor. He would take a waterskin and steal some food from the kitchen, he thought.

When he finally sat on his bed, the night was dark. It was his last night in Camelot, and it felt like the stars were mourning for his departure. Merlin turned his back towards the window, and tried to sleep.

He already felt nostalgic of his life in Camelot. His friends, their adventures. They lived through so much together. But he felt like leaving was the right option. He knew everything there was to discover about Camelot, and his mission there was accomplished. Now, he needed to learn about the world. About magic. Maybe, one day, he will come back. For sure, he would visit his friends and Gaius.

But he needed to see Hunith first, though. It has been so long since he last saw her. Surely, she missed him too. And, maybe she wanted some of Arthur’s news, too.

***

The sun was shining beautifully on Camelot. Merlin took a small break between two deliveries to bathe in the sunrays' heat, and relax. The Lower Town’s noises had become somewhat soothing over the years, and he would miss it. In fact, he would miss Camelot’s people, that he came to know well over the years he had spent there. But it wasn’t enough to halt his decision. He would leave today, no matter what.

“Merlin !” A voice said, behind him. He had the pleasant surprise of seeing his good friend.

“Gwen ! What are you doing here ?”

“I was on my way to buy some iron, for that big order we got yesterday. We didn’t have enough in the smithery. What about you ?”

“Just running some errands. For Gaius.”

“I see. See you later, then !” And off she went, disappearing into the crowd of the busy people.

Merlin followed her shortly after, lost in his train of thought.

***

Since the day’s weather had been clear, the sunset was beautiful. Merlin stopped where he was, to admire its colours. Arthur silently approached him, so as to not disturb his daze.

“Merlin.” He said, softly.

“Arthur.” Merlin answered, with a soft, sad smile.

“Is it the sun, putting you in this state ?” said Arthur, mockingly.

“You could say that, yes”

“Well, I hope you’re ready for tomorrow, Merlin.”

“Tomorrow ?” answered Merlin, confused. “What happens, tomorrow ?”

“Merlin, you’re so forgetful. There is a tournament in Camelot, and I’m participating. You’ll be cheering for me, right ?” Arthur said, with a bright smile. Merlin laughed, and then smiled. Arthur seemed satisfied with this answer, as he began to walk towards his chambers, bidding Merlin goodnight.

Merlin stood there, for a good minute. Then, he departed towards his room. This would probably be the last time he saw Arthur before long.

***

Merlin’s bag was ready, on the floor. The food he stole earlier was safely wrapped in the bag, and he checked for the last time if something was missing. He toured his room, and covered himself with a grey cape. He had to buy a new one again, as Arthur kept stealing his.

With his backpack on and his hood covering his face, he left his room, as if no one ever lived there to begin with. Gaius wasn’t there, to give him some privacy, he thought. He opened the door, and swiftly walked in the corridors, using the shortcuts and secret passages he had learnt during his time as Arthur’s manservant. He hid himself around the patrols and the guards. He passed the castle’s doors, unseen, and headed towards the Lower Town.

He couldn’t use magic to escape, since he put himself wards that record any spell used in Camelot (on papers, so that Arthur and Gaius could easily access it). He could easily find his way without being detected, though. He avoided the early night’s crowd, and saw Gwaine among them. He thought he would have a fun night. Or, he was on patrol or some mission.

Merlin would miss it. Camelot’s buzzing atmosphere, especially the one that appeared after Arthur had overthrown the ban on magic. But, now was not the right time for doubts. Tomorrow, maybe. But today was for running away.

And that’s exactly what he did. He managed to get out of Camelot without drawing anyone’s attention. He found a hidden spot, and casted the last spells he researched to protect Camelot. To protect his friends. To protect Arthur.

A wave of nostalgia hit him. When was the last time Merlin and Arthur had crossed these gates together ? Not that long ago. Even if Merlin wasn’t his manservant anymore, Arthur always insisted on taking him, and him only, for some hunts. Merlin hated hunts, actually, but that didn’t stop him from enjoying the time he spent with his friend.

He sighed, and began walking towards the forest. He looked up, towards the stars. They were shining bright tonight. He hoped his friends looked at the sky, too, and thought about him, even though they wouldn’t know until tomorrow that he disappeared. This was his cheer for Arthur, he thought. Not only for the tournament, but for his entire reign and life. A thousand stars, shining brightly in the dark night’s sky.

Chapter Text

“Did you see Merlin ?” asked Arthur, scanning his surroundings for Merlin.
“Not today, Sire. I do recall Gaius needing some help with the tournament today, though.” answered Leon.

“I should have asked Gaius to leave him alone today, I need him to be at his best to cheer for me.” He said, with a frown. “Well, I’ll just catch him among the tents, then. I just need to follow the mess.” He said, sharing Leon’s half smile.

“Yes, Sire.”

***

Upon entering the arena, Arthur searched for Merlin. He wasn’t there. Maybe he was late, or too absorbed in whatever he was doing the whole day, he thought. Surely, Merlin wouldn’t have forgotten about it : he made sure of it the day before ! He felt a pinch in his chest. That was what betrayal felt like to him.

The other contestant entered the arena, and the cheers died down a bit. He looked too smug for Arthur, who decided to teach him a lesson. His attitude was not what was expected in front of the King.

And a lesson he taught. The opponent was on the ground, obliterated. While the crowd cheered for Arthur, his mind was only set on finding Merlin. Where was he ? He couldn’t have disappeared, he had to be somewhere. Arthur smiled politely to the crowd, and exited the arena.

“Where is he ? He promised me he would be there.” He asked his new manservant, while regaining his tent.

“Who are you talking about, Your Majesty ? Everyone is here.” He answered, with all the manners he needed to use. It seemed that it didn’t satisfy the king.

“Merlin, of course ! He promised me he would be there, yet I didn’t see him !” Arthur said, keeping a composed attitude as much as he could.

“Nobody saw him all day, Sire. Gwen and a few other servants were searching for him all over Camelot.” He said, opening the tent for the king.

“And you didn’t think that I would have liked to be informed ?” Said Arthur, raising his tone, eyes wide.

“I wasn’t informed that I needed to, Sire. I will do so in the future.” George said, with a slight bow. “I will now take care of your armour for the next match.”

“No, you will have someone fetch Gwen before that.” Arthur said, grinding his teeth.

***

“What did you need me for, Your Majesty ?” Gwen said, with a slight bow.
“I heard you searched for Merlin.” Arthur said, scratching his chin, gazing towards his sword.

“Yes, Sire. We couldn’t see him all morning, so we got worried. Gaius didn’t see him either.”

“Did you find him ?”

“Not yet, Sire. No one saw him in Camelot, but the guards didn’t see him exit the town, either.” She said, lowering her gaze. “We didn’t turn Camelot upside-down, though, so there might be a chance he’s just hidden somewhere or we just missed him.”

“He was supposed to come. To cheer for me.” Arthur said, still gazing towards his sword. “Pass the word among the guards and Camelot’s knights, discreetly. I want to know every detail about who saw him and where. And I want him, safe.”

“Yes, Sire.” Gwen said, and exited the tent with perfect manners. These were beginning to annoy him.

***

The rest of the day’s opponents were crushed. The crowd cheered for him each time, more and more unsure of what to do. Rumour spread in Camelot that Arthur got dumped. The banquet didn’t help, either. He only spoke a few words to the crowd, and seemingly tried to drink himself to death before some of his knights stopped him, and he excused himself for the night quickly after that.

While returning to his chambers, he questioned the knights about Merlin’s whereabouts, with no answers. The knights seemed shaken by his disappearance as well, but no one wanted to say what everyone thought. Merlin could have been kidnapped.

When they arrived in front of Arthur’s chambers, Gaius was already there, waiting. He handed a vial to the king, and spoke.

“I know what happened to Merlin. I think it would be better to speak about it in a quieter space, Sire.”

“We can speak in my chambers. Leon, go fetch the other knights and Gwen.” Arthur said, opening his door.

***

Arthur couldn’t believe it. Merlin ran away. Merlin broke his promise. Merlin betrayed him.

“You have to understand, Sire. He will come back, I’m sure of it.” Gauis said, with a paternal look on his face. “I know it hurts, but he needed to spread out his wings.”

“But he could get hurt,” Said Gwaine, visibly worried. “We could have sent someone to protect him.”

“Everyone, out.” Said Arthur, his head in his hands, with a menacing tone. They all froze. “I said,” he lifted up his head, with tears in his eyes, “everyone, out.”

They all got up as fast as they could, sparing pitying looks towards Arthur. When the door closed, he let it all out. It had been such a long time since he last cried. But Merlin had abandoned him, and he didn’t understand why it made him so emotional. He was angry. Yes, that was it. Anger. He would find Merlin, and make him suffer for his crime. And he would never dare to run away from him again.

He wiped his eyes, and sighed. He needed a drink. There was a stash of bottles in the wardrobe that he had planned to drink the following evening with Merlin to celebrate his victory.

“I might as well drink them all alone tonight. Without Merlin.” He said under his breath. Merlin wasn’t there anymore. He didn’t want to say it, but he missed him. He thought of him as a best friend, someone who would always be there for him. But he wasn’t there anymore. Merlin thought that he had become a burden, when all Arthur did was thanking him by giving him some free time.

That night, Arthur drank to convince himself he was angry at Merlin.

***

The next day, he woke up with a massive hangover, and thanked Gaius for his potion. Thanks to that, he evacuated some of his anger on his opponents, and won the tournament. At the same time, he ordered his knights to search for clues on Merlin’s whereabouts, and organised an expedition to be sent out to find Merlin before he left the kingdom. But that needed to wait until that damn tournament was finished, to not draw attention, they said.

Arthur moped all day. The knights, Gauis and Gwen, also shaken by Merlin’s disappearance, tried to cheer him up as best as they could, and word was spread among the servants not to speak about Merlin around the king. Still, it was hard enough to convince him not to ride out by himself, and that was by promising him that he could if they didn’t find him in a month.

Gwaine took the lead in organising the expedition. They would ride out in groups of two toward the locations he would most likely go to. Of course, that included Ealdor. For this location, they had a special mission added : they would have to carry out a letter from Gaius to Hunith, and get her reply. Gwaine seemed to have made finding Merlin his only priority, even though Gaius told him that he wasn’t in danger.

When the tournament ended, the news spread all over town. Everyone tried to give their testimony, and the whole town came to see the knights off. Merlin grew on them, after all.

That day, the sun was shining brightly.

“Go find him !” Arthur ordered his knights before they went.

He blamed his tear on the blinding sun.