Chapter Text
YOUR POV
Last night's episode was the worst it had ever been. Your vision felt too lifelike, exactly like it had happened in real life. Somehow you knew it was getting more serious than it should and silent worry rented room in your chest indefinitely.
You spent half of that night crying in Loki's lap and the other half sitting by the border of the forest, too still, looking out into the trees in complete silence.
Loki didn't seem to mind it and didn't come to bother you.
He seemed to understand what you went through mentally but it must have taken its toll on him because he became just a fragment more distant. You didn't think anything of it. His fewer words must have meant that he too was processing what had happened. Or he was giving you space.
Yet his blood smelled a little colder through his skin than usual.
"Do you want to drive?" You asked him.
"No. You can take the wheel." His quiet voice cut through the clearing and in the next second he was right beside the passenger side door. Teleportation...
"Anything else before we take off?"
"No. We can go."
Maybe him seeing your episode had scared him off. The air in the car felt too strange and you found yourself gripping the wheel a little too tight as though that was the only thing keeping you down on the ground. The silent god on your right kept a tad too still and you couldn't help but wonder if something wrong was coming.
The destination was the big city of New York where no one really cared for anyone.
The risk of the team finding you there was significantly bigger than in the forest but what was the fun in getting by without the danger, the thrill?
Since you noticed his developing likeness for caffein, you wanted to show him your favorite cafe. A place that had welcomed you at your highest and lowest, fed you memories, gave you good stories to tell and had an atmosphere all together that you craved yet failed to create in your homes.
Right now you weren't sure whether your lowest or highest was coming.
The drive, well, it went by...
The smell was the first and best feeling as you stepped in. The old pine door croaked politely as Loki entered behind you. You inhaled as though it was your first ever breath, like a cougar tastes the air when looking for prey, every morsel of wood, books, coffee like a drug reentering the addict's system after rehab.
The barista, who you've watched fall in love, out of love, cry, laugh greeted you with the biggest and warmest smile.
"Look who's back." Her voice sounded as lovely as ever. You smiled back. "The usual?"
"Yes, please."
Home. Home was a right word to describe how you felt in this place. And sharing it with Loki felt like you were showing him, not your naked body but a piece of your soul.
"And for the gentleman?" Her gaze directed to Loki who shyly fled from her, his cold eyes landing on you with a distant plea.
For just a second he looked like a stranger.
"He'll have an americano." You told the barista. "With one of your homemade vanilla cookies."
"Coming right up! Take a seat while you wait."
Your usual spot. A booth in the corner with cushioned seats, surrounded by plants and bookshelves.
The usually busy space now was almost empty except for a few early risers. You were always early.
"Is... everything okay?" You asked immediately as you sat down.
His eyes slid along your face with a second of composed panic and he answered neutrally. "Yes."
"Just,... tell me if anything unsettled you about last night or if you want to ask about anything." Your fingers interlocked under the table as you anxiously awaited his answer.
He chuckled softly. "I seem a little distant, huh?"
"Yeah." You breathed with relief.
"It was just surprisingly intense." He said courtly, his eyes awaiting the arriving waitress.
"There you go." She placed your drinks on the table with a smile. "Let me know if you need anything! Some candles, perhaps?"
The suggestive look on her face caused you to panic a little and your words came out rushed. "No! I mean, no. Thank you!"
Despite what you expected, Loki's face remained cold and emotionless. He watched as she returned to her post and only when she glanced back at your table did he return his gaze to your anxious face.
He didn't even bother to take a sip.
You let your back fall against the cushioned backrest, a sense of disappointment bubbling in your chest.
Say something, anything, you thought as you stared at him but he didn't so much as move a finger. Only his blue blue eyes diverted from and returned to you from time to time.
Last night couldn't have been this bad.
Could it?
Was it?
...maybe it was....
Maybe you have made a terrible mistake. It was not like you not to be so careful but you too make mistakes sometimes.
Maybe your unwanted desire to let someone in, to let him in actually led him away from you.
Gosh, you weren't good at this. Forming connections. Why were you so stupid to think that someone was finally going to be there for you. As a friend. As anything. Of course it wasn't going to work. You were an idiot to believe it ever could!
A vampire is doomed to be alone. Doomed to only have company if they decide to become the monster the tales paint them to be, to loose all feelings and gather in groups only interested in rivalry and getting a good suck in.
But it's nice to hope sometimes...
"No, thank you!" Loki refused the waitress politely.
It took a few blinks to realize that his cookie had arrived. The girl left again and he took a tentative bite of the pastry. No reaction.
Now or never. If you remain quiet, you might never get the chance again to settle this. You inhaled a breath you did not need. "Look, I hate to be this person, but please, tell me if anything's wrong."
He practically glared at you. A small frown plastered on his face. "That is actually unbelievable." He chuckled. "To think you can fool me."
The blood froze in your veins. It burned. What was he talking about.
"I have to admit, you actually had me for a second. Pathetic." Loki's voice turned sour with poison, the fact that he was hating you obvious.
"Loki, I don't know what you're talking about." In comparison to him, you sounded small and fragile. It was your soul after all that he touched last night.
"I don't know what you're talking about- of course you do! Don't fucking lie to me!" He mocked.
"I'm not..."
"Yes, you are! I see through you like everyone else. You're nothing! Meaningless vampire with no sense of direction, no idea when her abilities border!... You are but a piece of garbage that the world should have gotten rid of long ago."
If you were standing, you would have taken a step back.
"What?" It sounded more like a shriek than anything.
"You heard me." He snapped, a low threatening sound.
So you were right. Your overthinking has proven to be precisely right again. Only you didn't understand why he was so angry.
"Getting me to like you? Why? Huh? to report back to your little friends at the tower?" His face clouded over with genuine hurt. Your heart broke. What he said was never your plan. It has never once crossed your mind. He stood. "I expected more from you. I was wrong."
You rose as well. "Loki, no! It's not like that at all! Please, let me ex-"
Breaking of glass, smell of blood and a big shockwave stopped your words from reaching Loki.
By the second you reacted, you were across the building, pieces of concrete piled on you. You searched for Loki but there was no trace of him.
Your senses spread out, the veins under your eyes screaming with want. You managed to pull the unconscious waitress girl out but as soon as you were to take in your surroundings an all too familiar voice caused you to turn in your tracks.
"Did I interrupt your date?" Your sister's mock of a voice asked. Your head shot up but you couldn't see her yet.
This was the last thing you needed. Can't this bitch just die already?
"Wasn't the one time I killed you enough?" You growled.
"You really thought you could kill me?" Her wet, low laugh sent a gag along your stomach.
"Yeah, this time I'll make sure to tear you to pieces and feed you to pigs so that you can become what you really are on the inside." Shit.
"You can try."
From the smoke and the falling debris of the explosion, a dark, scaled hand pulled you harshly to the side, a cold mouth landing against your neck. "This time I won't play around."
You tried to break free from the grasp but she was much stronger than the last time. Then an entirely new face came into your field of vision. It had qualities of your sister's face: the curve of its jaw, its eyebrows and cheekbones but observing you, was a whole different creature. Its nose was gone, a big gaping hole in its place, its lips stretched thin with a pale greenish color, a long tongue eagerly running along the sharp teeth staring at you.
"What the fuck have you become, Leylah?" Your horror showed on your face as you still tried to peel those fingers from yourself.
"Leylah was weak... useless..." Its face leaned closer to you, a terrible smell seeping from its mouth. "She's gone now. And you will be too."
A wave of agony ran through your body as 'your sister' murmured something in a language that you didn't understand. Suddenly, the smoke was gone and a burning feeling took control of your body.
Pure agony spread through your veins, burning, tearing you to pieces from the inside, as if it was trying to melt the skin off your bones. You screamed in pain as she dragged your limp body across the debris and out to the street where she dropped you like a pile of trash. She then landed a hard kick to your stomach, sending you flying back into a pole. Pain.
Pain?
No, that wasn't right. You weren't supposed to be able to feel pain like this.
However, now was not the time to dwell on such things as this creature, your new sister, came sulking towards you. The sounds of people screaming in fear became distant as you watched what was left of your family came once again to destroy you.
"Gods, you are even weaker than the last time." She growled.
The air got stuck in your throat so your threat came out in a cough. "Fuck. You."
"Now, now. I didn't come here to waste my time pretending to care whatever nonsense you are trying to tell me." As she finished her sentence, a burning, deafening pain ran through you. All sounds cut off and all consuming agony tore at your every piece. A feeling all too familiar, even after not feeling it for many many years. She did something... something, that only witches were capable of doing.
Taking away the power of your ring. It simply snapped off your hand, broken in two.
This meant you only had seconds before you burned on the spot. The morning sun was not too strong, but definitely strong enough to kill a vampire. The smell of your own death burned in your nose as you tried to crawl away. You didn't know where you were going, you only knew instinctively you had to find shade.
Tearing your flesh on the concrete, you only had seconds left when you found shade.
When it came down to it, you were nothing more than just an animal. Tearing towards your needs, stopping at only death to achieve them, to save your skin. Weakened, vulnerable, pathetic.
Maybe you were nothing more than a parasite to Earth. Doomed to pry on the living and inevitably get taken out like a mosquito by someone powerful enough.
You ran and ran and ran from everything that could harm you, you hid and prayed but now, now faith was no more. Trust was no more. Beliefs were no more.
She really outdid herself now. Literally.
For a moment again, life went quiet. The deprivation of burning pain the sun caused pushed you into a deep bliss and your body, through smoke, began regenerating. Cold, fresh and undead.
"Nice fucking play..." she growled somewhere. Boiling pain shot through your arm and you were weightless for a second, then collided with the ground and the flaming began again.
Screams tore themselves from your throat, the sun, your destructor, eating away at you inch by inch. You rolled and trashed, trying to soothe the burn, but your sister kicked you away every time you got too close to momentary relief.
The muscles of your body, usually harder than concrete, now suffered like a dying animal, too weak to do anything but helplessly try were now failing you. Failing everything. Giving you up to the written fate you spent your eternal life running from.
When she finally stepped over you, you had no fight left, no will, the pain had overtaken and paralyzed you completely. Her scaly fingers wrapped around your neck and harshly pulled you up, tearing your skin that melted into the road. You might have yelled, you were too out of it to comprehend.
She, this alien, leaned over you. "For eternity." She spat.
The next second, the pressure at your throat loosened then disappeared completely.
It was done. You were no more.
Good. The World felt lighter without you in it.
"By the gods you look ugly."
An echo. Was this supposed to be a compilation of your best moments?
"I hate you."
Oh yes, a classic.
Maybe the good memories will come last.
"I know you're not dead so stop pretending you are."
This felt strange...
"Every damn time..."
"Can you hear me? Please hear me."
"Just, open your eyes! Look at me!"
Your shoulders shook.
Your shoulders shook?
No, they couldn't. Yet they did.
Hot fingers wrapped around your jaw. Was it...? Could it be...?
"Tony?" You mumbled, your eyes still closed, resting too heavy against your skull.
"Now that was very insulting. I suggest you try again. Something beginning with an L."
"Luke Hemmings?"
"You're ice cold. Colder than usual. Even for me." The voice, soft, silky and very familiar, sobered you a fraction, yet you couldn't bring your eyes to open.
The fingertips ran along your arms, stopping to hold your hand. Hold your hand? It mumbled something. Then again.
"...ring. Where is your ring?"
"Ring? I'm not married...to the chase I might be." You managed a humorless laugh. Maybe it was a breath.
"I swear to Frigga... The sunlight ring!"
"Oh that ring. Funny little thing. Is it not there?"
"No."
"Hm."
"Hm?! That is all you've got for me?"
"Mm."
———
Your eyes opened.
The white ceiling that stared back at you felt like you were looking into a fucking reflector.
When you got used to this abomination enough to take your surroundings in you recognized the medical ward. The plastic plant that you bought, well, Tony bought after you convinced him that, for the sake of the patient, a little greenery is mandatory.
"Fucking hell." You mumbled.
You looked over yourself, sunlight dancing over your skin. The route of your eyes stopped at something foreign. Something that replaced a lifelong object.
For a good while, you stared, shell shocked. This was new. Stuck out like a sore thumb.
On your sliver ring adorned fingers, right where your daylight ring was, lay a beautiful golden one.
One of Loki's rings.