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Language:
English
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Published:
2023-03-30
Words:
407
Chapters:
1/1
Comments:
2
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2
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43

death.

Summary:

the death of mikage's shadow.

Notes:

CONTENT WARNING: this fic is VERY MUCH dark and i am NOT exaggerating with anything i said in the tags. read at your own risk.

anyways moving on. i wrote this in the dentist's office along with Unbeloved Days. the difference is that i refined this afterwards. so have fun

Work Text:

this is your fault

i know that. i know that! leave me alone. except it's me telling myself that isn't it. i messed up so badly, i've always been such a failure! it's always been my own faults and inability to not mess up that hurt mikage, i'm such a fuck-up. why couldn't i just be helpful and perfect? i'm so awful, i deserve this.

and my arm still hurts. or what's left of it. i wonder if i'm bleeding out, if i can bleed out. well i'm certainly in pain. so yuuhi definitely did something that hurt. at least yuuhi stopped me so i couldn't mess up any further. at least someone held me accountable. at least i can't hurt anyone. the only one i can hurt anymore is myself, but i don't think i can get up to do so. i wish i could. isn't it funny, the only thing i want to do anymore, i can't do?

it's so funny, my whole life is like a joke. it's always been a joke. i can never do anything but hurt everyone i meet, i just keep hurting them, i just hurt them worse and worse. that's so funny. it's so funny. ha. ha ha ha ha

isn't it so funny how messed up it is i'm laughing at how cruel i am. how i hurt mikage all this time. how i hurt yuuhi by making her best friend disappear. how i hurt spica by taking away her... someone.

spica deserves mikage more than i do. and mikage loves her too. they... without me they'll be happy. everyone will be happy, mikage and yuuhi, best friends, back together, and the four friends. everyone will be happy. my death. it'll be the key to that. at least. that's one good thing i can do. dying. that's the one good thing i can do. for her. i want mikage to be happy as she can be. and the others deserve to be happy too. i'll die, and it'll be the best thing i've done ever.

but that's. it's not even a choice. i'm just being selfish. this isn't a sacrifice, this is just me being selfish again and wanting to act like i had any part in this, yuuhi deserves the credit for it. i'm just... i'm just a horrible thing. i can't do anything

and i'm crying about it because i'm still the same. i never change.