Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

"You live, you learn
You love, you learn
You cry, you learn
You lose, you learn"

ALANIS MORRISETTE (From the album "Jagged Little Pill" (1995))

"Is this really happening?" Pacey had to keep asking himself, while he was also trying to keep his concentration on kissing the gorgeous girl, who was lying on top of him on the front seat of his dad's old truck, with her body pressed down firmly on his own and giving him what by far was the experience of his life, at least so far in the close to sixteen years that had passed in it.

The day leading up to this moment in time hadn't gone as he thought it would have at all, when he was told that himself and Joey Potter would have to do a biology project together. Truth be told, at that moment it felt like it would be more fun to have root canals done without pain killers on all of his teeth, back-to-back and if he could have come up with a valid excuse not to have to do it, no matter how lame it might have been, he would have used it in a second. One thing was that it seemed like a boring project to him, it also involved himself having to work closely with what he until that day, had seen as the most annoying and infuriating girl, he'd ever met in his life. Sure, she'd developed into quite the cutie over these past couple of years, which had also meant that she naturally had joined the ranks of his long list of fantasy girlfriends, and besides secretly admiring her for how hard she worked in school and the great grades she got as a result (when he himself rarely got anything above a C in any of his classes), he also had to admit that as far as the women in his life went, she was close to the top, as far as whom of them meant the most to him. At the same time, he'd always thought that they would most likely be terrible as a couple and although he was starting to become a bit desperate, when it came to finding his first "real" girlfriend, Joey had right up to that day felt like just about the least likely girl in his small hometown to take up that role. However, after spending the day together with her and him having to admit to himself that she wasn't all that bad after all, he'd kissed her on a spur of the moment impulse and couldn't deny that it had felt all kinds of right to do so.

To be perfectly honest, he hadn't in a million years expected her to kiss him back, but once she quickly got past the initial shock of what was going on, she'd been at least as much into it, as he had. After this, one kiss had turned into a handful more and now her goodnight kiss for that evening had turned into what can best have been described as fifteen minutes of permanent lip-lock (in his own estimation, seeing as he'd completely lost track of time).

"I really should get inside, before Bessie or Bodie comes out to see if your dad's truck has broken down and catches us in the act" she partly moaned, when they finally broke their extremely elongated kissing session.

"Would that be so bad? I mean, aren't we ... no, just forget I said anything" he said, chickening out of asking her what this was, but her smile made him ease up in a second.

"Pacey, are you asking me to be your girlfriend?" she asked him and as much as he wanted to ask her, the fear of rejection kept him from saying it in so many words. He'd had enough of that with girls already, since he hit puberty and how he looked at them began to change, at around the same pace as his own body doing so.

"If you want to be my girlfriend ... I guess, that would be okay?" was how it came out and immediately, he felt like such a geek for not having found a way to say it better. In any case, it made Joey giggle, so it couldn't have been the absolute worst answer, he could have come up with.

"You're so bad at this, you know that? It's no wonder that you're still single!" she grinned at him, and he saw the chance to get back on what felt like a more familiar playing field with her.

"Like you're some kind of pro at this stuff yourself, Potter? How would you have said it?"

"Any other way! That has to have been the worst way, that question has ever been asked, by anyone!" she laughed, and he couldn't help himself from laughing along with her.

"Okay, you try it, then!" he dared her, but only got another small kiss as his immediate answer, before she opened the door to get out.

"First you ask Dawson and get his express okay, that this won't freak him out or lead to all of us not talking and hating each other and then come and see me again" she told him, before getting out and shutting the door behind herself. "I'm working the dinner shift at The Icehouse tomorrow. Hope to see you there!" she said, before blowing him a kiss and heading up the patio towards the small house, she called home.

"Look, Dawson. There's something I need to tell you and I'm not sure, you'll like what I have to say" Pacey started nervously.

After himself and Joey had said their goodnights, he'd driven home (in the old pile of rust they affectionately called the Witter Wagoneer (although, it probably belonged more on a junkheap, than on the roads those days) with a huge smile on his face that hadn't even gone away when his dad had loudly told him off for taking the car, when he didn't have a valid driver's license yet or had asked for permission to borrow it. He had someone to be there for him now and nothing anyone could say, would take away from the joy of that fact.

That it was Joey made perfect sense too now and as he'd laid in bed and tried to fall asleep, his head became filled with thoughts of all of the things, he wanted to do with her and all of the firsts in life, that he could get to do with her. it began to dawn on him as well, what all of the name-calling between them over the past years and the small barbs they loved to send each other's way had really been about. They'd both just been either too inexperienced or too naive, when it came to the ways of love, to see that what they'd been doing all that time was building up to what he hoped desperately would be coming next: The two of them, as boyfriend and girlfriend, making one another's lives better on a daily basis and helping each other through both the good and bad times, that were sure to be lying ahead.

All things considered, this should have been great and given that both he and Joey were single, it shouldn't have been anything that brought the slightest of problems with it either. Of course, there was the slight issue of her dad being a criminal and his being the chief of their local police force (a bridge that it might not be as easy to cross, as most other bridges were) and whether his parents would be accepting of her as a new extended part of their family was yet to be seen, still he knew from a lifetime of practice how to spin things the right way with them, so that it as a minimum wouldn't end up being a deal breaker. What could be the proverbial deal breaker though, was how his best friend since childhood reacted to what he was about to say next, as they sat on the bed up in Dawson's room and his heart raced faster, than it perhaps ever had before.

"It's about myself and Joey ..."

Dawson almost knew what Pacey was going to say, even before the first words came out of his friend's mouth. He was well aware that most of those he knew, thought of him as a dreamer, who didn't know shit from Shinola when it came to reality and the all too real feelings that come from living in it, yet he wasn't anywhere as near as blind to it as they all thought he was. He'd noticed the little stolen glances between his two friends that evening at the fun faire, where Pacey had done the honorable thing and asked first, before he tried anything with her. He did doubt a little whether they actually had waited for him to give them the green light and truth be told; he'd been expecting this day to come for some time now.

"See, the thing is ..." Pacey shyly started off.

"You like her, don't you?" Dawson told him with a reassuring smile on his face.

"Kind of, yeah. I'm pretty sure that she likes me back too, so now the only question is whether it's okay with you that we ... try becoming more than friends. That sounded lame, even as I was saying it!" Pacey said, as his face began to redden. Dawson couldn't help himself from chuckling either at Pacey's response, if nothing else because it was such an "Un-Pacey" thing to say.

"It's just that I know you and her have all of this history together. I guess what I'm trying to say is that I don't want to step on anyone's toes here. Least of all yours" Pacey explained and it wasn't like Dawson couldn't see where he was coming from. His own history with the adorable little miss Potter was complicated to say the least and it wasn't much of a secret to either of them that she'd probably had more than just friendly feelings for him for a while, feelings that part of him wished she didn't have.

"You've already asked me once, Pace and if I said I was okay with it then, I still am now. If you want to ask her out or whatever, I give you my fullest possible blessing. Just promise me that you won't do anything to hurt her and we're good" he told his old buddy and for the most part, he wasn't lying either. As great as the girl was and as much as he cared about her, there was also the lingering question of how it would adversely affect their friendship, once their relationship eventually turned sour, like nearly all teenage relationships do sooner or later.

"I can't tell you how relieved I am to hear that" Pacey said and smiled to himself. Something either in his voice or the way he said it though, made Dawson think to himself that there may be more to the story, than what Pacey or Joey had told him thus far.

"Am I totally out of my mind here, Jen?" Joey asked her relatively new blonde-haired friend from the big city, while they were walking towards the Icehouse, where Joey's waitressing shift was soon to start.

"Well, you liked it when Pacey kissed you, didn't you?" Jen asked her back and Joey nervously both biting her lip and twice tucking her hair behind her ears, told Jen all she needed to know.

"Kinda. I mean, it came as a huge surprise and I wasn't really ready for it, when it happened. Then again, I guess, I couldn't help myself from kissing him back a little" Joey tried to explain, which only made her much more experienced friend smile to herself.

"You either kissed him back or you didn't, Joey. There's not a halfway there, so which was it?" Jen inquired.

"In that case, I ... guess, I sort of did. Which is crazy, because it's Pacey! I mean, could you ever see us working as couple?" Joey asked, like the idea of them being an item was the craziest suggestion in the world.

"I actually thought you two were already having a secret thing going on, when I first came here. Before I got to know you, of course" Jen quickly added.

"What would make you think that?" Joey asked with a puzzled look on her face.

"Come on, Joey! I mean, just when it comes to the oh, so obvious "Buffy and Angel Levels" of unfulfilled sexual tension between you two, it's like we're watching the beginning of a porn movie play out every day, only it always ends before we get to when the best part begins. Believe me, a guy doesn't act like he does around you, unless there's something going on in his undies, that's too plain as day for him to deny!" Jen explained and it made Joey giggle a little. "Trust me on this. All boys his age are slaves to that thing dangling down between their legs and whatever it wants, they want! You're just lucky that his has decided, that it wants you" Jen further elaborated, just as they came up to the place, where Joey would be serving tables for the next six hours.

"They badly need to get that clock on the wall fixed. I'm pretty sure, it's started running backwards" Pacey shared with Dawson, while they were waiting for what had been an extremely boring shift at the video store to end. Dawson checked his wristwatch to see if he was right.

"Sorry. It's on time" he told a disappointed Pacey, who sulked at the thought that he still had almost an hour of boring work to go and that the likelihood anything remotely interesting happening, were around the same as someone to come running in through the door to tell him, that he'd won a million dollars on pure luck alone.

"We both know that Joey doesn't get off work until nine. So, why not stay here until the end of your shift and earn another princely five bucks?" Dawson asked with a sly smile on his face.

"She isn't my girlfriend. Not yet anyway. For one thing, I have to find out if she's still into the idea of us dating" Pacey reminded himself, so as not to get his hopes too high up.

"I'm pretty sure, she is. It's all basic movie logic, Pace. She's a slightly bitter outsider, new to love and yearning for someone to shower romantic affection on her for the first time. You're in many ways her mirror opposite, yet you're still kind of the same in all of the right ways, for you to naturally start to form an attraction. You're basically like Christian Slater and Wynona Ryder in "Heathers", only without the murdering people part."

"Since this is Joey, we're talking about here, let's be a little cautious with ruling anything out for the future! Either way, life isn't like the movies, Dawson! You can't constantly compare what happens in them to real life, because real life isn't scripted for you!"

"Then, you wouldn't call what you and Joey have the beginnings of what could be a storybook romance? I would. Basically, the way I've always seen it, you two are like a pair of magnets" Dawson explained.

"Magnets?"

"Yeah, magnets. One of you is the negative pole and one of you is the positive. Place a magnet of each type close enough to each other and what happens?"

"They move towards each other until they link up. I know that I only got a D in physics last year, but I'm not that dumb!"

"Honestly, I'm more surprised than anything, that it took the two of you this long to find out. And let's be real here, Pace. You seriously need someone like her in your life right now to figuratively pull your ears, when they need a good pulling and we both know that she'll do it, where I won't!" Dawson said and they chuckled together in agreement.

Maybe the idea of them dating wasn't so crazy after all, Pacey thought to himself, moments before a family of seven came through the doors, who combined between them soon had both of the boys wishing for a bit of boredom again.

"You're really okay with him dating Joey?" Dawson's dad Mitch asked him, as they waved goodbye to Pacey, who was heading the other way, in the direction of the Ice House.

"Why wouldn't I be?"

"I don't know. I guess, all of us always thought that ..."

"Me and her would end up together?"

"You can't tell me, that it hasn't crossed your mind a time or two."

"Of course, it has, but it's Joey we're talking about here. I know that you probably don't know for sure, but how many relationships that start out when both of those involved are fifteen, would you guess make it to the end of high school?

"Very few, is my only and best estimate."

"My point exactly. If we tried dating now, it would be doomed from the get-go. All I would be doing the entire time would be waiting for the end to come and I just know that I wouldn't enjoy it at all. With Jen it's different, because there isn't as much on the line with her."

"As there would be with Joey?"

"Do you get why I don't want to date her now?"

"I guess so. You really like this Jen girl, huh?"

"Yeah, I do, dad. I just hope that I haven't messed things up too badly with her already" Dawson confessed to his father.

"There's only one way to find out. I could drop you off at her house."

"Dad, it's literally right across the street from our own!"

"I know! Just don't say that I don't ever offer to do nice things for you, because I just did!" Mitch joked, as they soon began to make their way home.

"Earth to Joey! Do you read me?" Bessie interrupted Joey from her daydream with and it quickly made her snap to. They were having a surprisingly busy evening at the restaurant and even in her own opinion, her job performance that evening had been nothing short of lousy.

"You completely screwed up on this order! The guy wanted a bacon cheeseburger, not a regular cheeseburger and onion rings, not fries. It isn't the first time tonight, so will you tell me what's up, or do I have to give you the third degree?" Bessie said, as she stared a hole through Joey's soul.

"Bessie, how do you know when you're in love?" Joey asked cautiously and it made her sister smile widely.

"Let me venture a wild guess. This has to do with Pacey and you swapping spit outside of our house last night? I happened to catch part of the show, while I was in the kitchen" Bessie said, as Joey's face turned beet red in a matter of seconds.

"Oh, my God!" Joey exclaimed, looking all kinds of embarrassed.

"I'm happy for you! Plus, it's nice for me that you've chosen a boy, I can trust not to lead you too much astray, so thanks for that part as well!" Bessie told her smilingly and it made Joey feel much less self-conscious over the whole thing.

"I mean, I don't even know if he wants to date yet" Joey tentatively said, not wanting to think that their kisses had been more important to herself, than they'd been to him.

"How much do you want to bet that he does?" Bessie asked with a knowing look on her face, that made Joey turn her head, just as Pacey came through the door, looking more than a little nervous.

All the way on his bike ride over to Joey's family's restaurant, where she worked, Pacey had been practicing in his head exactly what to say to her. He would play it cool, while still not hiding that he liked her and the way he'd played out in his head over and over since his own shift at "Screen Time" began earlier that day, all of it had worked like a charm. It was just too bad that he forgot every word of it, the moment he saw how gorgeous she looked, even in her slightly stained work t-shirt, while she was talking to her sister. He did his best to look as confident as he could, as she walked over to him, even if part of him knew that it most likely wasn't working and that him never having been this nervous before, was bound to be shining through in one way or the other.

"Hi, Joey. Ehm ... can we talk?" was how unpoetically it came out of his mouth, and it immediately made him feel like such a loser, for not having had a better opening line planned.

"I think, we should. Bessie just gave me the rest of the evening off, anyway. So ..." she started her sentence without knowing how to finish it. In a strange way though, her being clearly just as nervous as himself made him ease up a bit. When he offered her his hand to lead her out and she took it without a moment's thought, he could swear that his heart skipped a beat and for once in his life, he felt like the luckiest guy in the entire world.

It was still pretty warm for a fall evening, so they decided to take a walk down on the beach. None of them knew what to say for the longest time however, until she finally broke the silence.

"So, about those kisses the other night. I guess, you're wondering, why I didn't stop you and sort of ... kissed you back, like I did" she said nervously.

"It seemed like you really liked it!" he blurted out and as per usual, he felt like a doofus for saying such a dumb thing to her.

"I did! A lot! A whole lot, if you want the truth! Those were ... some really nice kisses! I know that it isn't like I have a whole lot of experience, but they were by far the best kisses I've experienced so far!" she told him shyly, and her saying so filled him with a confidence, he'd only very rarely felt before this.

"Well ... did you like it so much, that you want to try it again? Because if you did, then ... I guess, I want to try it again. Why are we sounding like we're practically speech impaired right now?" he asked to lighten the mood, and it seemed like it worked, since it got a smile out of her.

"I have a theory that it's because we're in totally uncharted territory for both of us here" she told him very sweetly, while the moonlight revealed her entire beauty to him.

"I know. It's both a little scary and kind of exciting at the same time, don't you think?"

"Yeah, it is. Can't we just skip this whole nervous rambling part and go straight back to the kissing? I liked that part a lot better!" Joey asked of him, and she didn't have to ask twice, in order to get what she wanted.

END OF CHAPTER ONE

Chapter Text

"In the car, I just can't wait
To pick you up on our very first date
Is it cool if I hold your hand?
Is it wrong if I think it's lame to dance?
Do you like my stupid hair?
Would you guess that I didn't know what to wear?
I'm just scared of what you think
You make me nervous so I really can't eat"

BLINK 182 (From the album "Take Off Your Pants and Jacket" (2001))

After Pacey had dropped Joey off practically at her front door that evening, it had felt like she was walking on a cloud of fluffy pink love all the way to her room. Was this actually happening for Joey Potter, the girl who never gets what she wants, or least feels like she doesn't? And why had she been wasting so much time on pining after Dawson, when the right guy had been right in front of her the entire time? All of that time she'd spent yearning for the wrong guy seemed so meaningless to her now, where she could say that she didn't only have a boyfriend, she had a boyfriend that she was so head over heels for, that it felt like this was a dream, she would wake up to find out that her life felt as sucky and miserable, as it had only a few days earlier, when this crazy adventure had begun for them.

If you'd told her a week earlier, that this would be happening, she would have told you that you were either crazy or on drugs. That everything had changed so fast only made it more exciting and it felt like a whole new world was opening up for her, now that it had. She couldn't deny though, that it had her filled with excitement and every time she thought back on how it had felt, when she'd decided to just go for broke and act on her inner animalistic instincts for the first time in her life, it filled with a warm feeling inside and a satisfaction that she wasn't just doing what everyone expected of her this time, as well as doing something that was just for herself for once. She couldn't say exactly how she would have reacted, if Dawson had been upset over her and Pacey dating and if he had, she probably would have backed down just to keep the peace in their little clique. Without having any other friends to fall back on, she needed to keep herself on good footing with the few she did have, after all. Now that he had given them his blessing though, there was zero reason why she shouldn't try to milk this for all it was worth and see where it would take her.

The day after at school, she would finally be the one to flaunt her new boyfriend in front of the jealous eyes of the other girls, several of whom it hadn't escaped her glances had been googling at Pacey's extremely well developing body over the past few years. Then, she could soak in their jealousy and feel like she was the princess of Capeside High, if nothing else for a day or two, until everyone got used to seeing them making out and their dating would become old news very fast. Until then however, she planned on soaking it up, all that she possibly could!

"I can't decide with myself, who of you is slumming it!" an unwelcome voice said to try and interrupt Pacey and Joey's before-school make-out session by the trees outside of the high school. Just to rub Abby's face in it, they kept on kissing for at least another twenty seconds, before Joey turned her head to glance indifferently at her.

"Jealous, Abby?" Joey asked the five-foot-tall menace to society, who was clearly finding their becoming a couple to be more than a little amusing.

"Of you bagging Pacey? Sorry, Joey, but as far as this scoring you cool points, it only brings you barely out of the negative, if that! As if it wasn't completely predictable, that a pair of social outcasts like you two would be bumping uglies before high school was over, if you haven't already! I really hope you use protection however, because let's face it, he's not exactly the reliable type! Good for you for having the common sense to aim low though, I say that to the both of you!" Abby told them tauntingly, before turning her back on them and heading towards the school entrance. "Oh, and Pacey. I hear that thinking about baseball will solve that problem in your pants, you'll surely want to "fix", before school begins for the day!"

"Yeah, well ... you suck, Abby!" was the best comeback Joey could come up with and he could easily see how displeased she was with it.

"You suck? That's the best, you could come up with?" he had to ask her.

"I don't know what's happening! It's like I'm losing my perspicacity for making comebacks, because all I keep thinking about is ..."

"Me?" he asked, and she smiled shyly back at him, before tucking her hair behind her ears.

"Kind of, yeah" she told him truthfully.

"Wow, you've really got it bad for me, Potter! Although, you did use the word "Perspicacity" just now, so you clearly haven't gone all the way Ralph Wiggum on me!"

"This is the part where you say that you ..." she said, somewhat leadingly.

"Did my homework? Yeah, I'm pretty sure, I'm covered! As well as can be expected of me, it goes without saying!" he replied jokingly.

"You know that isn't what I meant! Tell me that you like me, or I'll never let you kiss me again!" she told him with a pouty face, very insincerely.

"You're starting to grow on me, Potter. Let me put it that way and hey, now that everyone else will know about us before 3rd period begins thanks to Abby, we won't have to bother with coming out to everyone, so how's that for a bonus?" he said gladly, even if he couldn't help notice a small bit of annoyance on her face over this, the latest in her long line of "Abby Related incidents".

"I just wish, I'd come up with a much better comeback, that's all" she told him sulkily.

"How about if we come up with a really great one together, tonight over dinner?"

"Pacey, we're both working today! Bessie only graciously allowed me to stay out late last night. I don't think she's planning on making a habit of it!"

"You get a dinner break, don't you?" he asked and could see a cute smile start to creep across her adorable face.

"Yes, but you know that I always eat at the Ice House, whenever I work the dinner shift."

"If I put the pedal to the metal on my bike, I can get there in three minutes. I get half an hour off for dinner, that I can probably stretch to forty minutes without getting in trouble, so why not take advantage of it for once in a rare while, instead of just eating a sandwich at the video store, like I usually do?"

She seemed to like that idea a whole lot, so she answered him with another kiss, that made him feel filled with warmth inside and like this school day would go by in a flash. It did have an adverse effect on the "Problem in his pants", but he had a good fifteen minutes until classes began and on top of that plenty of tricks in the bag, thinking wise, to get rid of that problem.

"When you said that you did the homework that could be expected of you, you meant only the absolute, bare essentials, didn't you?" she asked, and he had to admit that she pretty much had him there.

"Second date. Sounds like it's becoming serious with you guys!" Jen quipped, while Joey was talking to her by her locker, that she was getting her Geography textbook out of. "Or is it technically the third, if we count that first hook-up?"

"It doesn't feel like a third date. I mean, the first time was kind of a spur of the moment thing, a "let's just go for it and see what happens type of situation", you know?"

"Or what most people refer to as a hook-up, but I'm following you so far."

"The second felt more like it was a continuation of the first, then it's only singular entity date-wise, if that makes any sense to you?" Joey tried explaining, as she closed up her locker again.

"So, since the first one didn't feel like a date and the second was, in your own words, a mere continuation of the first, which wasn't a date at all, only a hook-up, this will be your actual first date? Did I get that right?"

"I know, it's confusing! Imagine how it is for me!" Joey said, although she couldn't hide the smile on her face, that had practically been plastered on since the evening before.

"Are you excited?" Jen asked, with her own smile being almost as wide as Joey's. Only almost, though.

"It's just him coming over to eat dinner at my family's restaurant, right under my sister's watchful eyes, I might add, and then he has to be back at work right afterwards. Logically, it shouldn't feel like anything big at all, but ..."

"Forget about logic for once, Joey! I would be totally excited, if it were me, going on my first date with a guy, I was a crazy about, as you are about Pacey!"

"I guess, I've just gotten so used to being hit with disappointment all the time, that I keep telling myself not to get my hopes too far up, or they'll only end up being crushed again. It wouldn't be close to the first time; it's happened for me."

"You still haven't answered my question!"

"Okay, so I am! It just blows, that we'll have to save the really fun stuff for the weekends and before school. "

"Not to mention in the lunch breaks and directly after school and ..." Jen started saying teasingly.

"I promise to fill you in on more details, as they arrive! Right now, all I want is to enjoy this day and allow my newfound status as non-single to help me to pretend, that this is an open-minded school with fantastic, forward-thinking teachers all around and best of all, no mean girls or dumb, annoying jocks to irritate me!"

"You're so hopelessly and utterly in love, Joey! Man, I so wish, it were me!" Jen said without thinking about what she'd said. Joey couldn't help picking up on it though, and it made her wonder if the feelings Dawson had for Jen matched back, to those Jen had for him.

"You can leave early, if you want. We'll tell the owner that you got the runs, and it was stinking up the store so bad, that I had to send you home because it was scaring the customers away" Dawson suggested jokingly, while himself and Pacey were stacking shelves together of the latest batch of new releases, that had just come through the door half an hour earlier. It got a wry smile out of his buddy, who didn't seem to mind his idea.

"Tell him that I had a sandwich from that new Deli down the street, just to rub it in!" Pacey suggested back and the two friends shared a short laugh together.

Even if Dawson couldn't help himself from being a bit jealous, when he saw Joey and Pacey walking down the hallways of the school holding hands and the few times, he'd seen them kissing, there was also no denying that them becoming a couple had made his own life considerably easier. One thing was that he didn't have to listen to their bickering anymore, something that had gotten old to him years ago and was one thing, he could never see himself missing, but both of them being in such a constant great mood was definitely rubbing off on himself as well. Pacey had become a lot easier to work with too, now that he actually felt like doing work and not just slacking off most of the time and without Joey there to be an extra temptation, there was nothing left to cloud his mind and only one girl in the entire world left for him to choose from, as he saw it. That being a beautiful young blonde girl, who happened to walk into the store at that moment, without either of them turning to look at her.

"I know that it's totally anti-feminist of me or whatever, but I've always loved watching hot guys working!" Jen quipped in her typical fashion and right away, a small sense of joy filled him inside, just to be near her.

"Hey, I don't think Joey would like to hear you use that kind of language!" Pacey replied jokingly back at her, which brought out that sweet, but almost kind of mystical smile of hers. A mystery that he couldn't wait to explore more, now that there was nothing getting in their way anymore.

"Just because I used plural, doesn't mean I meant you too, Pacey! Man, someone's got an ego, now that he's found himself a hot girlfriend!" Jen joked back at him.

"Pacey wants to leave early, so I'll need someone to take his place. Are you up for the job of watching movies with me and filling yourself up with free popcorn, while I serve anyone, who comes in here?" he asked her and from her reaction, he already knew she'd say yes.

"That does sound like really hard work, Dawson! Especially, since my grams has been pressuring me on going to a church group meeting with her tonight ... okay, you've twisted my arm enough! I give in!" the blonde goddess in front of him said and nothing anyone could have said at that moment, could have made him feel more satisfied inside.

"Why didn't you just say that you had date? Of course, you can have the rest of the evening off!" Bessie told Joey, while they were looking out at the only barely quarter filled restaurant, that Joey suspected had something to do with her sister's recent streak of generosity.

"We were just planning on having dinner here and then, he has to go back to work."

"Then you go to the store with him, and you hang out. A date can be whatever you want it to be."

"Even if there's a third person there?"

"If you were at the movies or out eating somewhere, wouldn't there be more than one other person there as well?" Bessie asked and Joey had to agree with her sense of logic.

"Yeah, I guess so."

"I'll make sure that Bodie cooks up something really nice for you two. Just try to keep it PG, when he gets here, Joey! This is a family place, you know?" Bessie told her jokingly, before going to serve a table, who looked like they wanted another round of drinks. Joey forgot all about them in an instant however, when she saw who walked through the door.

"I thought your lunch break wasn't for another half an hour!" she told Pacey smilingly, while they hugged hello.

"I managed to get the rest of the evening off, thanks to finding a replacement for yours truly. In the form of a girl from the Big Apple, we both know very well" he told he smilingly and it only made her own smile grow even wider still.

"I'm sure neither of them had anything against that suggestion! Guess what?"

"What?"

"I have the rest of the evening off too and Bessie said that she'll make Bodie cook something great for us."

"Wow! It's almost beginning to sound like a real ..."

"Date! That's because it is! The only way it would feel more like a date, was if I weren't wearing my work t-shirt. Then again, we can't have everything, can we?"

"It still feels to me, like I have everything right now. Does that count?" Pacey asked her and if her heart hadn't melted for him before, then this was without a doubt the moment, when it did.

"It does, if you agree that the same goes for me" she answered him and couldn't stop herself from kissing him anymore.

(Jen's main thoughts, during her frustrating three and a half hours of minding store with Dawson):

"Why won't he shut up and let me enjoy the movie?"

"I couldn't care less who the cinematographer was!"

"This is good for you, Jen. It's normal, boring teen stuff, like you're supposed to be doing!"

"What I wouldn't give for a sixpack of beer or a joint right now!"

"Or preferably, both?"

"Man, I'm glad that I won't have to work here five days a week! I'd seriously get bored to death, if I had to do that!"

"I wonder what Joey is doing right now. Whatever it is, she's having more fun than I am, that's for sure!"

"I would look great as brunette! Or maybe I should dye my hair black, just to really freak Grams out? Or purple! Now, that would look awesome on me!"

"If I absolutely had to get a tattoo, what would I have tattooed on me and where on my body? Hmm ..."

"Maybe church group meetings can't be that bad after all? What am I thinking?"

(While a family of six with four unruly kids were in the store):

"I'm never having kids and that's final! I mean it!"

"Maybe I can get Grams to sign off on me getting my tubes tied, if I really beg her hard for it!"

(When Joey and Pacey came into the store after their dinner at the Ice House):

"God, they look disgustingly happy! No, Jen! This is the new and improved you and you are delighted for your new friend, that she's found love! You won't get jealous at her, like you did so many times home in New York! Not at all!"

"Why can't I be her, just for this one evening? She can have him back in the morning or I can try to be her replacement for him! I can be a semi-lesbian for one evening, as long as we keep it to holding hands and if I make my voice the deepest that it can be, I can almost make my voice sound like his! Just one of you, please save me from this video store purgatory!"

"Have they had sex yet?"

"They have, haven't they? No, they haven't! On the other hand, she has that a bit of that glow to her like ... nah, not yet!"

"No, don't leave! Stay here with me, so I won't have to listen to any more boring movie trivia!"

(After Joey and Pacey had left):

"Okay, Jen, so right now you're officially jealous of Joey! Great job, brain and thanks for screwing me over again! I knew I should have gone for Pacey and not this ever-talking chatterbox of useless information! Now it's too late! Dammit! I could have had great sex tonight with a hot guy like Pacey and instead I'm here, listening to this walking movie encyclopedia go on and on! This could be the first time ever, where I can honestly say that I'd rather be home in bed with good book!"

"Maybe he won't even notice, if I doze off for a short while."

"Two minutes, thirty-two. Two minutes, thirty-one ... Pacey was right, that clock has to be running slow!"

"Made it to nine o'clock! I so deserve some kind of prize for this!"

"You're ... I still can't come up with a proper comeback! Urgh!" Joey said with frustration, although it was a frustration of the most minor kind, since she admittedly was enjoying herself a whole lot and had been all evening. After dinner (which was to die for!) and their brief stop at the video store to say hi to Dawson and Jen, they'd gone back to her house and spent the rest of the evening switching between kissing and snuggling in her bed.

"It's okay, Jo. No one says that you need to have it ready for tomorrow" he assured her and it brought the smile back to her face.

"I feel like such a sad and pathetic loser now! I'm afraid that the only way you can make it go away, is if you kiss me some more!" she quipped, in no serious way at all.

"You feel like a loser? How do you think I feel, now that everyone knows I'm dating a brainy chick?" he joked back at her.

"That's all I am to you, huh? Just another brainy chick?" she replied, while trying to sound as aloof, as she could.

"Well, you are the first brainy chick, I've made out with. I need to say though, that now I've tried it, I'm starting to develop a taste for it!"

"You are, huh? Lucky me, I guess! If I'm the brainy one, what does that make you?"

"The shrewd one, who managed to trick you into falling for me!"

"You, shrewd? You by some miracle managing to score with me was blind luck, just admit it!"

"Never!"

"Doesn't it make you feel inferior to know that besides me being smarter than you, I've already kissed two guys, before I decided to take pity on you?"

"You taking pity on me, Potter? There's no way, you could possibly be more wrong! It's the opposite way around!"

"Just shut up and kiss me again, Pacey!"

And so, he did.

END OF CHAPTER TWO

Chapter Text

"I'm only happy when it rains
I'm only happy when it's complicated
And though I know you can't appreciate it
I'm only happy when it rains
You know I love it when the news is bad
Why does it feel so good to feel so sad?
I'm only happy when it rains"

GARBAGE (from the album "Garbage" (1995))

Jen was already in a foul mood, by the time she got to school that morning. One thing was that her beloved grandfather, a man she loved ever so dearly and had been the one person in her entire family, she felt like had understood where she was coming from, was now clearly on death's door and there was no turning back, when it came to him biting the bullet sooner, rather than later. Just seeing him in that vegetative state every day would be enough to make anyone feel miserable inside. On top of it, there was also the situation that she'd managed to get herself into, in what (even for the very high bar, she'd set so far in her fifteen years on Earth) felt like record time to her. Not only did she have a guy pining after her, that she really couldn't see herself in any sort of romantic relationship with, but she'd also begun to fall for her new bestie's boyfriend and there were little to no signs, that she would have any chance of this ending with anything, except for the usual huge disappointment for her, whenever it came to love and all that other romantic stuff.

Did she really like Pacey though, or was it just her (as per her usual) getting jealous over another girl she knew having found, what it seemed like it was impossible for herself to find? When she lived back home in NYC, it would happen way too frequently. As much as she hated to admit it, she'd knowingly sabotaged several budding romances among her those in her old social circle, even if she'd already known before doing it, that she would end up feeling a hundred times worse afterwards (which had happened without fault every single time). It wasn't even like she could say why she'd done it exactly, except that misery loves company and she'd wanted those around her to feel even worse, than she did, if that was at all possible.

"That was the old Jen, though. This is the new Jen, who's starting fresh without any of that old baggage weighing her down! A rational and even-tempered girl, who'll make all of the right choices, go to college, get her fancy education, make her parents proud and all of that other gooey stuff, she used to laugh at being a possibility for herself in the future", she kept repeating as a mantra in her thoughts, so that maybe, just maybe, she would start believing that it could happen for real.

Then again, could a leopard with an incredibly shady past like her own, really change its spots from day to day, on a pure inner desire to change and nothing else? Sometimes, she wondered if it was at all possible, but the realist in her knew that she didn't have other options, than to try her absolute hardest. This was, when push comes to shove, her last realistic chance to avoid ending up as yet another screwed-up rich kid, destined to end up either dead or in jail before she turned twenty. If this didn't work out, she would no doubt find herself in an even worse situation, than she was in now, living in a small town, she didn't feel like she belonged in at all and most of time not feeling like she was at home there, having her feeling homesick every day. Her parents (in another of their many misguided attempts at parenting) had already threatened more than once, to send her to the strictest boarding school, they could find, if she got caught drinking or doing drugs even once again and she wasn't in any doubt, that after how incredibly low she'd sunk during her last utterly depraved drinking binges back in New York, they meant business this time.

All it would take was the slightest word of her causing trouble reaching either of her parents' ears through Grams, or any of their "Spies" among Capeside's rich elite (some of whom she knew her folks were in regular contact with) and she would be sent her off to what on paper at least, sounded like her own worst nightmare come true. She wanted with all of her heart to change too, it wasn't that and to be honest, she'd grown to despise the girl she'd turned into by the end of her wild and crazy party girl days. The days of her hating herself all the time and doing dumb things like drinking and filling her head with mind-altering drugs, just so she could forget about how completely miserable, she'd constantly felt inside, weren't days that she felt like ever revisiting again. On the other hand, she didn't feel like she constantly had to put on this sugary sweet "Good Girl Act" all the time back home and at some point, her new friends were almost bound to find out what the real, truly messed up inside Jen Lindley was like. Would they be able to take the sight of it however? That was the big question.

There thankfully had been one enormous bright spot, who went by the name of Joey, and while Jen had all her life been nothing short of terrible, when it came to making friends with girls, she'd found a kindred spirit in the tall brunette, who had a past that was almost as troubled as her own. What they had begun to develop was the kind of wholesome friendship, she'd only ever seen other girls have with each other and always envied them for. Just because she was having these stupid feelings for Joey's boyfriend, didn't mean that she was ready to do anything to ruin what Joey had found with Pacey, or their own blossoming friendship for that matter.

Acting on instinct would have been what the old Jen would have done and would no doubt have led to Joey hating her guts. In turn, it would surely lead to her ending up yet again hating herself and in all likelihood acting out and doing something self-destructive, like she always used to in the past. The new Jen would be a constantly supporting friend, who had nothing in her life to be ashamed of and was someone, that could say that she was proud of the one she'd become, or at least so she kept telling herself. In the back of her mind though, there was also still a constantly lingering fear, that the bad Jen would rear her ugly head again and ruin something great for her good self, before it had a chance to get properly started.

Whatever was to happen in the coming weeks and months, she was sure that it would be a case of her feeling damned in advance, no matter what the outcome would be. Such was the plight of being Jennifer Lindley.

"You, entering a beauty contest? Thanks, Jo, I really needed a good pick-me-up laugh after those sleep-inducing morning classes!" Pacey grinningly said, which only got a scowl for him from his girlfriend, who was standing right in front of him.

"Is it that you don't think, I have a of chance winning?" she asked him back, while trying to sound annoyed at him. Not that she really was, of course, but she figured that if she made him feel bad enough, it could pay off in the form of him wanting to spoil her (even more than he usually did) as an apology later on.

"You know, I didn't mean it like that! Of course, you can win! I believe that you can do anything, you set your mind to. Thoroughly!" he apologizingly told her back and it would have been another sweet moment, if it hadn't been for Abby's mocking laughter coming from nearby. Whatever sadist had decided to place Abby's locker only four lockers down from her own had better be gone by the next schoolyear, where their lockers would hopefully be on opposite sides of the school. Or preferably in diametrically different parts of the world, but even Joey knew that was probably another pipedream of hers.

"You, win a beauty contest? It isn't a charity, where they choose the one with the best sap story, Joey! You actually need to have style and elegance, two things that are as foreign to you, as eating slugs is to the people of Capeside!" Abby said half-laughingly, in that way that just made Joey want to punch her lights out, right then and there, damned the trouble she would surely find herself in afterwards!

"They don't eat slugs in France, they eat one kind of snail. Anyway, who asked for your opinion?" Pacey tried defending Joey with, even if she wished that he hadn't, since he'd clearly put Abby on the warpath yet again.

"Just because no one ever asks for it, doesn't mean that it would hurt them to hear it!" Abby snarled back at them.

"Doesn't it bother you, that no one cares what you think about anything ever, Abby?" Joey retorted and from the look on Abby's face, this meant that the fight, whatever it would end up consisting of, was on!

"Okay, I'll make you a bet. We both enter that beauty contest and if I finish above you, I get one French kiss from your boyfriend, right in front of your eyes!" the little harpy suggested, as the stare down between them grew into such intensity, that it even began to make Pacey uncomfortable.

"Okay, but if I finish above you, you have to kiss my ass! Literally! In front of all of my friends! And I get to have a picture taken of it for my own future enjoyment!" Joey fired back her, while hoping desperately in the back of her mind, that her honestly ludicrous suggestion would make her enemy stand down.

"You're on! Like there's any way, I could lose to a human disaster zone like you! I'll be looking forward to that kiss, Pacey!" Abby grinningly said, before heading off to class.

It didn't take many moments for Joey to feel like trash over what had happened and Pacey's look of disappointment in her didn't help either.

"Next time, do me the favor of asking me before you start making more bets, that involve me potentially having to kiss girls, that make the thought of having an all-out tongue tango session with an especially vicious Electric Eel, sound like a pleasant alternative!" he scolded her. She knew very well that she deserved it, this one time at least, so she tried to look as apologetic, as she could.

"I'm so sorry, Pace! She just gets to me every time, that bitch!" Joey groaned annoyedly.

"You don't think that she only riles you up, because she knows that you'll fall for it and react like this, and she gets her Ya-Hoo's that way?" Pacey suggested and it honestly hadn't dawned on her before, crazy as it may sound. Of course, Abby was only doing this to get a rise out of her and like the complete and utter dumbass she'd been a few moments earlier, she'd walked right into that Banshee's trap! Now, she actually HAD to enter that contest AND finish above Abby, at any cost! Just thinking about the alternative was enough to make the bile rise up in her throat.

"Please tell me, you didn't just do that, you retarded, braindead moron!" Abby thought to herself, as she slumped down in her chair, ready for yet another hour of mind-numbingly boring school to be taken out of her youth. She'd already known before the words came out of her mouth, that there was no way she would beat Joey in that contest and even if she did, it would still mean that she would have to kiss Pacey, of all people! Just the thought alone, that she would be getting it on with Joey Potter's sloppy seconds, was enough to make her gag and that was presently the best possible outcome! Sure, he was attractive and no doubt in her top ten, when it came to who the hottest guys (based on looks alone) were at school but knowing that her first kiss would be her sticking her own lips where Joey's had probably been just before her own was barf inducing, to say the least!

Who would have thought that Joey was actually mad enough at her, to take up a stupid bet like that? Abby thought for sure that she would have backed down, because let's be real here. Joey Potter in a beauty contest? For the life of her, she just couldn't picture Joey in that kind of situation, any more than she could picture herself in it. And now she actually had to enter one! And not only that, one where everyone she knew from school would be there to undoubtedly see her make a total ass of herself? She had to think of some way out of it and it needed to happen ASAP!

The only alternative, as she saw it, was to apologize to Joey and she couldn't do that either. It would throw the entire power balance between them off and now that Joey had a boyfriend, that Abby was far too aware that lots of girls at school envied her for, it would put herself below Joey in the school pecking order among the girls, meaning that she would be at the absolute bottom! With nowhere lower to fall!

When exactly had she turned into this friendless loser, who repelled everyone with her constant acting out, because of her constant frustrations over her own life? These last years of first her parents constantly fighting and then her mom sinking into a depression (after her dad had left them high and dry with herself getting no more than an "I don't know when we'll see one another again, Abby", before he was out of the door (still yet to be seen again btw), the one thought she could count on to cheer her up, was that if nothing else, Joey's life was worse, than her own was. The way things looked now, her rival was doing all sorts of great and all she had was her mom, her mom's stupid depression and her parents' stupid divorce, that she wished would just go through, so they could all try to go back to some kind of normal!

She had to deal with one problem at a time on the other hand and right now, the biggest one she'd inflicted on herself, was getting out of the disastrously terrible bet, she'd just made with a girl that she knew better than anyone, had less than zero love lost for herself. Just when she was thinking of alternative ways to get out of it, into her classroom walked a potential wild card, who could prove herself to be a useful ally. That girl from New York, she'd had Saturday detention with a few months earlier.

Jen had started to like school more than the afternoons that followed them, strange as it may sound. At school, she now had friends around her, who were constantly there to offer her their moral support, when she needed to hear it and now that she had the right motivation to try to be the best student, she could be, some of the classes had begun to fascinate her as well. Not all of them, it goes without saying, and the teacher standard at Capeside High was clearly very uneven, still all in all, she couldn't deny that it had become the highlight of most of her weekdays.

The afternoons were a different story. Basically, she had four alternatives. Go to the video store and hang out with Dawson and Pacey, which after the boring evening she'd had there a few days earlier, wasn't an option she would be seriously considering, for the next short while at the least. She could go home, of course and be constantly reminded of her grandfather's imminent death, if she wasn't getting schooled by Grams again on why it was important that she started going to church and studying the bible. This was why she usually wouldn't come home until right before dinnertime and then try to be out the door again, as fast as humanly possible, after they were done eating. She could go down and hang out with Joey at the restaurant, but she could tell from the way Bessie had looked at her the last time, she'd kept Joey away from her work, that unless she was there to be a paying customer, she would be best off in limiting her number of visits.

The final option, as she saw it, was to find a private spot down by the pier and do her homework there, before she headed back to the depressing place, she called home. Today was a nice day for it too, seeing as the weather was still quite nice and most of the tourists had left town. She managed to find a bench with only a few people in sight around, overlooking the water, and had just gotten out her math homework from her school bag, when she heard a voice coming from behind her.

"Is there room for two on that bench?" Abby asked and Jen turned around to see the girl, she'd only really ever talked to once before, smiling back at her and with her own bookbag slung over her shoulders.

"I guess so" was all Jen replied and moments later, Abby had sat down next to her.

"You do this too, huh?" Abby asked her.

"What do you mean?" Jen tentatively asked her back, remembering the many times Joey had warned about Abby in the past.

"You don't have any friends to hang out with either, so you try to avoid crowds, where you'll see them with their ever-so-annoying in-jokes and doing all of that other fun stuff, you wish that you could be a part of. You aren't a part of any after school activities either, because like me, you hate it there and from the second you arrive, you can't wait to get out of there again. Only, there isn't really any joy in that either, because besides having no friends to hang out with, it's so depressing at both of our homes, that it makes you want to either climb the walls or take a head dive out of the window, whichever comes first. Am I right, or am I right?" Abby asked, while looking Jen in the eyes and for the first time, since she'd gotten to Capeside, Jen felt like she was with someone, who was as irreparably damaged inside as herself. If not entirely, then at least to some extent.

"You're frighteningly right" she admitted to Abby.

"My mom is a nurse at the hospital, so I know about your grandpa. I lost my last surviving grandparent last year, right before my dad skipped town. Sure sucks, doesn't it?" Abby asked candidly and all Jen could do was nod along with her.

"My homelife is such a mess right now!" Abby continued. "My mom thinks that I don't notice the wine bottles, she has stashed away around the house or the slur in her voice, that always magically seems to get more noticeable, as the day goes on. I would say that on an average day, we say twenty words to each other and on those few really special days, we can maybe stretch it to fifty. My dad clearly doesn't give a rat's ass about me, or he would have at least called sometime over these past eight months, since he left us. You'd think that at least on my birthday, that son of a bitch could have managed to find a phone and give his only child a call, but according to my mom, that's apparently too much to ask of him right now! I'd be so through with the pair of them, if they weren't my parents!"

"Do you think your mom is ..."

"An alcoholic? Yeah, and in complete denial over it. She's become so pathetic, compared to how she used to be. Believe it or not, but there was a time, when I didn't just look up to that woman, I had a whole lot of good reasons to. When I was a kid, she was always this strong and confident figure all of the time, you know? Or at least, that's how it came off to me at that age. These days, she's turned into a daily reminder of everything, I don't want to become, when I'm her age someday" Abby told her sadly and in spite of Joey's warnings, Jen felt like opening up a little too.

"With me and my parents, it's like a wall has been put up between us, that I have no clue how to tear down." Jen confessed. "They're on their side and I'm on mine and as it stands right now, I don't see that changing for a long time to come, if it ever happens. My grandmom wants me to live like it's fifty years ago all over again and then the moment I get here, I get myself mixed up with a guy ..."

"Let me interrupt you there, so I can get a pressing question out of the way! What in the holiest of holies do you see in Dawson Leery? He's so clearly not your type!"

"How would you know what my type is?"

"Because you clearly have a functioning brain and can see that boy needs a "Beginner's Girlfriend", before he's ready to move up to someone like you? Trust me, the two of you as a couple wouldn't last a month!" Abby stated, which made Jen think "Try a week!" in her own head a moment afterwards.

"He needs to find someone, who's as much of a rookie, as he is. Someone, who's starting at point zero with up as the only way to go! Someone like ..."

"Yourself?" Jen couldn't help herself from asking and to her slight surprise, it didn't make Abby angry or annoyed with her in the slightest. Only a little defensive.

"It's by my own choice! If there were any guys my own age worth dating in this sorry excuse for a town, I would be dating them. Since there aren't, I'm stuck being single, okay?" Abby replied, but Jen could easily see through the other girl's act.

"Answer me honestly, Abby. How many guys have ever asked you out? And don't try to lie, you're not that great of an actress!"

"Presently, as of this moment, the count stands at none" Abby admitted to her.

"How many guys have you kissed?"

"Sadly, the exact same amount! The closest I've come to it was holding hands with a boy in grade four and even that was only because our teacher made him hold it, after he was finally done protesting!" Abby sadly felt like confessing to her.

It was at that moment, that a plan began to form in Jen's head. A plan, that if executed correctly could get her out of the whole Dawson situation, without anyone getting hurt or mad over the outcome.

END OF CHAPTER THREE

Chapter Text

"As long as the planets are turning, as long as the stars are burning
As long as your dreams are coming true, you better believe it
That I would do anything for love, and I'll be there 'til the final act
And I would do anything for love and I'll take the vow and seal the pact"

MEAT LOAF (FROM BAT OUT OF HELL II (1993))

Pacey woke up that morning still feeling rather upset over what had happened in school the day before, or as upset as he could get with Joey (not that it was all that much, to be Frank). Her wagering himself having to kiss Abby, even if he in his wildest imagination couldn't see Abby beating Joey in a contest, that involved character assessment of any kind, had him feeling like maybe this newfound relationship of theirs wasn't as important to her, as it was to himself. He didn't want to kiss Abby either, even if there were far uglier girls at school than her (from a purely objective standpoint), it was more the principle of the whole thing that had him practically chewing his own fingernails down with worry. Certainly, he couldn't see himself making some stupid bet, that would involve her having to kiss some other guy, if he lost it, so where exactly did he stand with Joey now?

He planned on hopefully finding out at school, although he hadn't really figured out yet how to go about it. One thing was for sure though: He would give it far more of a try, than he would at trying to follow any of his classes that day.

"I'm such a frigging dumbass! You can say it, Bessie. I've already screwed this up beyond repair, before it ever came close to having a chance at becoming as awesome, as it could have been" Joey scolded herself, as she was about to be dropped off in front of the school by her older sister.

"I've seen guys forgive much worse, than what you did. Plus, it's Pacey we're talking about here! With the exception of you doing it with someone else, I'm a hundred percent positive from having seen how he looks at you, that an apology and a few kisses will sway him back on your side. After you've called off that bet, it goes without saying" Bessie assured her and as much as she hated to admit it, Joey knew that her older sister was probably right once again, in what she was telling her.

"I just hate the idea if giving Abby the satisfaction of knowing that she got the better of me, you know?" Joey confided and for some reason the thought of it alone, was enough to send small shivers down her spine.

"Correction: It was your own stupidity and stubbornness, that got the better of you this time!" Bessie corrected her and although Joey did roll her eyes at her sister, she yet again conceded defeat on the matter.

"Thanks for boosting my confidence, especially at this time of the morning, where I'm still trying to wake up!"

"You did the crime, so now you have do the time! Or in this case, try to make peace with a girl, you don't like."

"I don't just "don't like her"! She's the bane of my existence, the pebble in my shoe and most of all, I'd rather tear out my own fingernails, than see her kissing my new boyfriend!" Joey stated annoyedly.

"Before you go that far, do me a favor and try reasoning with her for once, instead of starting yet another confrontation! You'd be surprised how far a friendly smile, and a little political savvy can get you sometimes."

"She's the one who started it!" Joey objected, but it only made Bessie shake her head at her complaints.

"You're fifteen now, Joey, not five! Try thinking of it as practice for when you'll have to deal with a lot more of the Abby's of the world, when you get to be my age someday" Bessie suggested and once again (and as little as Joey wanted to admit it to herself), she had to give in and let her sister be in the right this time.

Jen however, had her own plans that involved Abby, only she was completely clueless on how to go about it (ironically in spite or her having watched the movie "Clueless" the evening before, to get some tips on how to be a good matchmaker). One thing was for sure: Dawson and Abby couldn't be more different, if they tried, so her first objective was to find some sort of common ground, that both of her two "targets" would be able to agree on.

What on earth that could possibly be was the big question and since she didn't know Abby all that well yet, trying to find out was at the top of her agenda that morning. She got that chance when she walked into the girl's room and found Abby to be the only one in there and in the middle of washing her hands.

"Fancy meeting you in a place like this! Don't tell me that you had the tacos from the school cafeteria for lunch yesterday too?" Abby asked and it made Jen scrunch her face up.

"No, but I guess it explains the smell in here! Whew!" Jen got out, while trying in vain to waft it away from her nose.

"You should praise yourself lucky! So, what's up with Joey and all of her loser friends, you can't seem to get enough of?" Abby asked, while grabbing for some towels to dry her hands in.

"They aren't as terrible, as you think they are!" Jen felt like she had to defend her friends with.

"For the record, as if it mattered, I don't think they're terrible people, just terribly boring people!" Abby explained and even if she didn't want to, Jen couldn't help herself from giggling a little. "I'm not saying that my own life is a fun, action-filled adventure ride all of the time, or any of the time, if I have to be honest, but just the thought of having to spend an evening with them is enough to make me drowsy!"

"Pacey is a fun guy, when you get to know him. Joey is ..."

"Spare me the lecture on the wonder that is Joey Potter, please! She likes you and she's nice to you, so congratulations or whatever for that. Every time I've tried talking to her, she's instantly attempted to bite my head off. Try to sell me on her all you want, but you'll never get me to join her fan-club!" Abby stated in no uncertain terms. It did give Jen another (possibly great) idea, though.

"Pacey, we really need to stop this and get to class! We only have three ..." was as far as Joey got in her sentence, before Pacey used his most effective weapon against her voice of reason, another wet and wild kiss, in the same vein as the many other kisses they'd shared in the second half of their lunch break, down in the boiler room.

"Let's ditch it and stay down here!" he pleadingly suggested, but his suggestion didn't exactly go down well with the object of his affections.

"Like that'll do wonders for my reputation, Pace! Sure, we'll just skip class and come waltzing into the next one holding hands and pretending that nothing happened! I'm well aware that you're a C student at best, but I don't have to spell it out for you, do I?" she fired back at him and along with him not wanting to do anything to hurt her, he was also well aware of how fast the rumor mill ran at Capeside High. Rumors that would be sure to reach her sister in no time and he could only imagine how awkward of a conversation that would be for her.

"Alright! Just gimme a minute here. I have another "Issue" to take care of" he told her and closed his eyes.

The ten things he thought of were, in this exact order:

Baseball

Football

What his favorite car was

The idea of his parents having sex

The idea of Mr. Peterson having sex with his grandmom

The idea of himself having sex with Bessie (especially now!)

The idea of himself having a three-way with Joey and Jen (this was an involuntary thought, that he couldn't help himself from having at that moment and had the polar opposite effect on what he was trying to accomplish)

Goldfish swimming around in a fishbowl.

Algebra

Why everyone keeps hiring Gil on The Simpsons, when he's terrible at every job he lands? (This one did the trick, just like it usually did for him)

After an hour of suffering through Mr. Peterson's English class, he only had P.E. left and then his five days a week punishment for being fifteen was done for the day. It helped a lot with his mood as well, that P.E. was one of the few classes, he for the most part liked. And it wasn't the sports and exercise part, unless they were playing basketball, he was looking forward to. Since the school was so small, it also meant that the boys had to share the gym with the girls, and they were sure to get a good look at how the girls their own age were developing. Even if he was a kept man now, no one said that he couldn't still do some window shopping.

"Barbara? You have to admit, that she has a great ass!" Chris Wolfe, one of their more chauvinist classmates threw out there, while they were sneaking glances over at the girls warming up and pretending to warm up themselves.

"It's too bad that she also is an ass! A very low two and that's being generous!" Pacey told him back and knew that it was his turn next, to name a girl for the two of them to rate.

"Mary-Beth?"

"Bland with a side order of bland! I'd still do her, but I'm sure she'd find some way of making it feel boring! She's a three, at best" Chris judged and Pacey more or less had to agree with him there, although he wouldn't have been as direct in his description. "Here's a wildcard for you. Jen. In my book, the closest among those present here to a solid ten! No offense, but I have way too many childhood memories of Joey, to even being to start looking at her, as more than a dude with boobs" Chris joked and Pacey had to fight hard not to chuckle, as it now became time for them to run a few laps and finish their warm-up's. "What do you give her?"

"Jen? I mean, she's cool as a cucumber and easy on the eyes, it's not that. She's also my girlfriend's best friend, so I try all I can, to avoid thinking of her that way."

"But you can't help it, right? Don't worry, Dude, the exact same happened to me, back when I had my first girlfriend."

"How did that all go down, then?" Pacey couldn't help himself from asking, even if he wasn't all that interested in the answer, to be honest.

"I waited until I'd broken up with my girlfriend and then I asked her friend out. My theory is that it's the whole "forbidden fruit syndrome", that gets the better of us. I know that I'd never thought about my ex-girlfriend's friend that way before then, so it's the best explanation, I can come up with. Come on, Pacey. What's your verdict on the uber-sexy, luscious and mysterious miss Lindley?"

"A seven, bordering on an eight. I'm more into brunettes these days, in case you haven't noticed" Pacey lied to him. If Joey was his version of a ten, then Jen was surely a 9.999999999.

"One last one. Abby?" Chris suggested half-laughingly.

"Negative eight million, six hundred thousand, nine hundred and forty-two. Give or take a few million!" was Pacey's unfiltered answer.

Joey was coming towards the end of what had to have been the most drawn-out feeling shift, she'd ever had at her family's restaurant. Her total tip intake of eight dollars for the entire shift said all about how much they'd fallen into the post-vacation lull, now that the last of the tourists had finally gone home for the winter. On top of that, there was the Yacht Club's end of season party down at the pier, seen as the last hurrah of the summer by many Capesidians and also had it own chefs serving gourmet food. The only diners they'd had all evening were an elderly couple, who were both clearly hard of hearing and spoke so loudly, that you could have still heard them clearly, if you'd been standing fifty feet down the street, and a very friendly family of four, who came in once a month or so and usually ordered the same things, every time they were there.

The one good part was that it had given her the chance to catch up on her schoolwork, because as hard as she'd tried, the "Ghost of Abby" had been haunting her mind so much all day, that she couldn't think of anything else. With the exception of the period, she'd spent down in the boiler room with Pacey, it should be said. Five times during the school day, Joey had spotted Abby and had the chance to talk to her and every time, she'd utterly chickened out and felt worse afterwards. Having had so long to think it over during her uneventful workday, it had led her to the conclusion that this wasn't normal behavior anymore and had turned into some kind of mental block, where she simply wasn't mentally capable of backing down, when it came to her number one rival.

She couldn't remember, when it had started to go wrong with herself and Abby, but she was sure it had happened not long after her family moved to Capeside. Ever since, the two of them had been at perpetual war, with a few truces along the way, when things started to get too out of control. It wasn't even like she hated Abby anymore, she more felt sorry for her than anything else, since she never saw her hanging out with anyone and it wasn't much of a secret around their small town, that her mom had turned into a trainwreck, since Abby's dad had skipped town. She'd seen Abby's mom not long before this in a grocery store and from what she could tell, trainwreck was a deeply understated way of putting it. Knowing that Abby had to live with a woman in that kind of emotional and physical state, with no dad around (like she herself had in her sister's fiancée Bodie), zero friends to help her get through the ups and downs in life and no prospects of it getting better, made Joey eternally thankful for what little she had to celebrate over in her own life. If she had to be honest about it, with Pacey by her side now to love her and be there for her, when she needed him to, it felt like her life was finally on the right track again, after a few years of it feeling the opposite. Abby had none of that, so should it really be that much of a surprise to her, that Abby acted out like she did? If she'd been in Abby's shoes, she'd probably have wanted to do something drastic, if only to try anything to change or get away from her life here. Why was Joey so afraid of trying to talk to her normally girl-to-girl, then?

It, like many other things in Joey's life had over the past few years, simply didn't make any sense to her.

Jen's plans for the evening consisted of a long shot, to see if she could (should all go according to plan) get the Dawson/Abby romance started and without either of them being clued in on this being her plans. Before she got that far though, she had to sit through dinner with Grams, which along with following a meal plan from the 1950's, also meant that there would be lots of uncomfortable silences.

"I suppose, you're going out tonight as well. That'll be six evenings in a row, Jennifer" Grams stated in her usual passive/aggressive way that along with making Jen feel like she was about five inches tall, also did little to hide that she wasn't all too pleased with how her granddaughter had been conducting herself lately.

"I haven't been getting myself into any trouble, if that's what you're afraid of. I've been a total angel through and through, I promise" Jen told the old lady back. It only got a small smile on Grams' face as a reaction, however.

"Somehow, I doubt that. Is it a boy, who's the reason for all of these evenings out on the town? I was your age myself once, strange as it may sound now and I still remember a little of how I was during those years" Grams confided in her and Jen saw a chance here, small as it was, to try to connect with the woman that had shown her such immense kindness by taking her in, when no one else would have taken in a rebellious teen, with a past that read like a horror story to people like her grandmother.

"It's kind of the opposite of it. There's this guy, who likes me, that I wish didn't. So now, my very wholesome activity for the evening will be trying to push him off on someone else. Which I guess, isn't all that wholesome at all, when you think about it, but it's still beats me having sex with him, right?" Jen said half-jokingly and immediately regretted having said the S-word and at the dinner table, no less. To her surprise however, it only got a small laugh out of her grandma.

"That it does. You can't just tell him that you don't feel the same way, as he does about you?"

"I'm still pretty new here, so it's kind of a delicate situation. He's really nice and not shabby on the eyes either, it isn't that. We're just too different to work as more than friends, you know? All I want is for all of us to continue to be on friendly terms, myself to get the perfect start here and maybe, if I'm really lucky, somehow manage to find myself a decent boyfriend. In time, when I feel like I've settled down and gotten used to how everything works here, not now, when it's still all so new to me" Jen said, before taking a bite of her Salisbury steak, that she had to admit was rather delicious, like most of her grandmother's cooking was.

"It's sounds like a well-thought-out decision. Although, you can't tell me that as a girl your age, it's easy to all of a sudden take a vow of celibacy like that?" Grams asked and for as much as Jen wanted to be this perfect and angelic version of herself, the Jen that she wanted to be, she also had to agree with the old lady there. For tonight on the other hand, she would have to push the teenage hormones that were telling her that it's time to advance the species out of the way and concentrate on the job at hand.

"You're seriously ditching being bored here at the store with me, for an evening out with a gorgeous girl, that sounds like it could actually be fun? What kind of a friend are you?" Pacey quipped, while putting some just returned video titles back on the shelves at "Screen Time". His best friend was already half on his way out of the door, after having been given the rest of the evening off.

"A friend, who'll hopefully get lucky with Jen tonight. Wish me luck!" Dawson told him back smilingly.

"Good luck, my friend. Something tells me that you'll need it!" Pacey just had time to say, before Dawson was out of the door. Maybe it was just himself being so used to disappointment, when it came to the fairer sex, but it clearly seemed to him, like Jen simply wasn't into Dawson, the same way he was into her. Sometimes, from the way Jen smiled that sweet smile of hers back at him, when they made eye contact, he even had a feeling that she could be into himself, although he chucked that down to just himself being terrible at reading the supposed silent signals, that girls apparently send you all the time.

He'd only just settled down into his chair to get ready for even more boredom over the next few hours (he'd brought his schoolbooks with him, but he still hadn't reached that serious of a state of boredom yet!) and popped "Fast Times at Ridgemont High" into the store's VCR player, when a welcome face made her way through the door.

"Have they officially made you a "Quarter-Timer" at the restaurant now? I mean, you were only a part-timer before, so we can't say that you've become even less of a part-timer, can we?" Pacey joked and got to see his girlfriend's sweet smile as his reward for it.

"I could count the number of customers we've had tonight on two hands pretty easily. How about you?" she asked him casually, before sitting down on his lap and them sharing another in the long line of the wild, wet kisses, that he kept fantasizing about, even when they weren't together.

"Let's see. A few of the jocks from school came in and rented both of the Snake Plissken movies, on the advice of the guy, whose lap you're currently sitting on. Mary-Beth rented "American Pie", to my slight surprise, I have to say. Oh, and there was a couple in what I'm guessing is their thirties, who rented an evening's worth of movies from the "Triple X-Rated" section, probably as a way to spice of their activities between the sheets. Apart from that, I've been wasting all of my time here today thinking about you" he told her and the gratification he felt at watching the way, his simple words could make her smile, made him feel better inside than perhaps anything else could.

"Only for the good things, I hope?" she asked him sweetly.

"Joey, how much does what we have mean to you, say on a scale of one to ten?" he asked back, trying to get a clear answer out of her, while still not stirring the pot too much, that he could mess anything up.

"Is this because of that dumb bet, I made with Abby?" she asked almost apologetically.

"I wouldn't dream of doing anything, that would involve you being forced to kiss someone else. I guess, I'm just worried ..."

"On a one-to-ten scale, I'd say two hundred thousand" she answered him before he had a chance to finish his sentence. "Pacey, this thing we've begun here, it's the most amazing thing that's ever happened to me! Every day is like a new adventure with you, that I can't wait to get started on. You have to believe me, I'm in this relationship for the long haul. The longest haul, even!" she confided in him, which made him ease up again.

"It's the most amazing thing, that's ever happened to you? Joey, I've spent the past two years having bashed into my head through constant rejection, that I would never have the slightest chance of ever finding myself kissing someone as beautiful as you, or for that matter being lucky enough, that an incredible girl like you would like me back. You can't blame a guy for having a few teenage insecurities here!" he told her half-jokingly at the end, as she nodded along understandingly.

"You want to hear about teenage insecurities? Pacey. I've been kicking myself constantly, since I made that dumb bet, because I was sure I'd messed the first great romance of my life up, before it had a chance to get properly started. I guess, what I'm trying to say is thanks for being such a forgiving boyfriend. I mean, it is Abby, you potentially have to swap spit with!" she told him with a small giggle, that did little to hide how hide her disgust in the thought of it actually coming to pass.

"This is only the start, huh? Tell me what I have to look forward to" he asked her teasingly and gave her a small kiss on the cheek.

"Well, I see lots of romance in our future, for one thing. Then there's the sexual exploration part, which I'm sure you can't wait to get started on ..."

"Don't try to act like you're some sort of pristine angel, Potter! You want to try all of those things, just as much as I do!"

"Don't worry, you'll get to do all of them with me! You know, seeing as it's such a boring evening here and there's that private storeroom in the back, we could get a head start on it, if you feel like it? We could try to round second base and see what that's like" she asked him flirtingly and in a second, his little fella was back to its usual state, whenever they were making out.

Luckily for the two of them, it would be nearly an hour, until the next customer came into the store and by then, he'd already had several items crossed off his "things he needed to try, before he died list" that evening.

Jen only learned one thing during her evening of trying to set up Dawson and Abby: That she needed a plan B and soon! First her and Dawson had gone down by the pier, where there was an end of season party hosted by the yacht club, that apparently was one of the social events of the year in Capeside. There, she'd already agreed to meet up with Abby and if things had gone according to her plan, she would have become a fifth wheel and been able to excuse herself shortly after, to leave things in the hands of fate. Instead, she'd spent the evening being the only one, who kept the conversation going, along with stopping Abby from sending too many barbs Dawson's way. Who else could there be though, for her to push Dawson off on? If this had only been New York, where she knew dozens of girls, who would have jumped at the chance to score with someone as cute as Dawson, it wouldn't have taken her an afternoon to get rid of his unwanted affections. Here, the number of girls she'd had a conversation with still hadn't reached half a dozen and with the exception of Joey and Abby, she couldn't say that she knew any of them at all.

Those thoughts depressed her a little, but when she saw a smiling Joey waiting outside of her house, as she got home after her incredibly long and immensely frustrating evening, it couldn't help but cheer her up a little. In spite of herself fighting against feelings of jealousy towards her slightly tall-for-a-girl brunette friend, there was also no denying that she was grasping onto this chance to live vicariously through Joey with every fiber of her being. That and it was close to impossible to avoid being cheered up by Joey's almost over the top great mood, whenever her and Pacey had just had another round of what Jen guessed, were some pretty steamy make-out sessions.

"Hi, Jen. I'm sorry to come by this late, it's just that some things happened tonight, that I could really use to talk to you about. In private, not at school, where everyone can overhear us" Joey started off with and Jen tried to look as understanding, as she could.

"In that case, we should stick to talking about it out here. I don't need Grams thinking that you're any worse of an influence on me, than she already thinks you are. Anyway, I could use some good news, after the sucky evening I've had!" Jen told her truthfully and one of the things Jen loved about her new friend, was how hearing it made Joey look like she genuinely felt bad for her. All of her old friends would have been like "You too, huh? Well, welcome to the club!", but Joey legitimately cared about every little thing that happened in her life and it only made Jen love her back all the more because of it.

"What happened?" Joey asked cautiously.

"Nothing, that I want to waste a single second more of my youth thinking about! I'm much more interested in what happened with you" she asked back and it made Joey a bit shy to talk about it.

"I went to visit Pacey at the video store, and we sort of went to third base. As in crossed it. Jen, we came so close to having actual sex, that it freaked me out a little!" Jey told her exasperatedly and despite trying her hardest not to, Jen felt immensely jealous of her at that moment.

"How far are we talking here?" Jen asked, with only her most morbid side actually wanting to know.

"I didn't plan on it going that far, let me say that first. But then, when we got started, I just couldn't stop myself. First it was him licking my nipple, then it was his hand sliding down the front of my panties and before I knew it, there I was, exactly as nature made me and with his tongue and fingers giving me pleasure the likes of which, I've never come anywhere close to feeling by myself, right in the middle of a storeroom full of employee t-shirts and discarded video titles! Jen, if it happens again, I seriously doubt that I'll be able to stop myself a second time! I suppose what I'm asking is, how did you know that you were ready to have sex?" Joey asked with such a deer in headlights look to her, that it made Jen think to herself, that she could say pretty much anything to this girl right now and she'd buy it hook, line and sinker.

"If you feel like you're in love with him and you're ready for it, I say go for it. I can say for a fact that I would have, if I were you" Jen told her somewhat truthfully, after having thought about it for a moment. Had it been herself, who was in that state of love with someone (not that she'd tried what it's like so far), she would have gone all the way with him, no matter what feelings of self-loathing for falling back into old habits, she would know before going through with it, would be sure to follow afterwards. Whether or not it was the right advice to give Joey was an entirely different matter, one she wasn't entirely sure of. And should it lead to them breaking up of course, no one said that she couldn't take advantage of it, to help make herself feel more at home in Capeside.

Pacey spent the bike ride home to his parents' house feeling a tiny bit conflicted over what had happened that evening. Sure, being naked with Joey had been everything he'd hoped it would be and him seeing how insanely turned on she'd gotten from pretty much all of the things, they did in that storeroom, made him feel like a far bigger man, than how he usually felt. In the back of his mind however, there was also a bit or fear that they'd taken things too far, too fast and it would end up working against them in the long run. There was no doubt that he wanted his real first time to be with Joey (his "thing" with Tamara, whatever it had been, didn't count in his own estimation, given how tainted it had all become afterwards) and as for being enough in love with her that it warranted them going all the way, he was sure to his bones that he was there and then some. Then again, if that was the case, why was he finding himself feeling this conflicted?

END OF CHAPTER FOUR

Chapter Text

"Down in a hole, and they've put all the stones in their place
I've eaten the sun, so my tongue has been burned of the taste
I have been guilty of kicking myself in the teeth
I will speak no more of my feelings beneath

Down in a hole
Losing my soul
Down in a hole
Losing control
I'd like to fly
But my wings have been so denied"

ALICE IN CHAINS (From the album "Dirt" (1992))

"If you leave, don't bother coming back, Abby! I mean it this time!"

Those were the last words Abby heard her mom say (or to be more correct, screamed at her) after they'd had yet another of the untold number of arguments, that had practically become the only times, they spoke to one another. As she stood there out by the street, trying to figure out her what her next move would be, more of the low points of the things her mom said during their fight, kept playing through her mind.

"Why do you think no one will ever like you and you have no friends? It's because you're a selfish little bitch, Abby!"

"The only reason why I allow you to live here, is because I'm forced to! If it was entirely up to me, I would have kicked your sorry, ungrateful ass out on the street months ago!"

"I wish, we'd never had you! Life would have been so much better, if I'd only had that abortion, like I wanted to!"

Not exactly what any kid wants to hear from their parents, is it? For Abby, hearing those depressing things said about herself, had sadly become an everyday event and she was starting to wonder, if her mom saying those things to her weren't just to make herself feel better over the horribleness of her situation, by taking it out on the one person, who had no choice except to take it, since she had no place else to go.

For now, however, what she needed was a place to stay for the night and with the ominous sound of thunder being faintly heard in the distance, it wasn't as if she had more going for her in the way of time, than she had when it came to places to stay.

Movie night at Dawson's. Four words that had pretty much become synonymous with Pacey's childhood and usually a nice way to end the day, after the strenuous parts of it were over and done with. On this evening though, it felt more like it was his girlfriend's excuse to avoid being alone with him. Ever since their "near miss" in the storeroom a handful of days earlier, she'd obviously been coming up with excuses, as to why they had to do things with other people all of the time and it made him worry, that he'd already messed things up by moving too fast with her. Of course, he could attempt to talk to her about it, but if he did that, he would also be sure to get a clear answer, as to whether she regretted, what they'd done or not. If she did, it would taint what had been arguably the highlight of his life so far, right up there with their first evening together and he wasn't sure, he was ready to hear something like that. Being with her was like a dream come true every time, so if it didn't feel that same way to her anymore, he had a feeling that it could be the thing, that broke him.

After himself, Dawson, Jen and Joey had held a mini-marathon of favorite movies from their childhood, that Jen hadn't seen yet (consisting of them watching "Goonies", "The Wiz" and "Bugsy Malone", in that exact order), they'd broken up the video watching party for the evening, so all of them could get home before the thunderstorm that had been promised for that night, would take over the streets of his hometown and no doubt leave them deserted, until it continued on its journey to wreak havoc somewhere else. Seeing as he barely saw anyone on the first part of the journey, it looked like the people of Capeside had all been given ample warning too, that this wasn't the evening or night for any outdoors activities.

Given that he still had plenty of time (and little desire to come home earlier, than he absolutely had to), he decided to take the longer, but far more scenic route home, passing down by the pier and the beach. During the summer, it would often be thick with tourists and on those, he usually tried to stay as far away from it, as he could. This evening it was a different story and after he hadn't seen anyone on the beach or the first part of the pier, he hadn't expected to see anyone there, when he saw what looked like a girl, huddled up and cold under a small half-roof, that they used during the tourist season to keep their life rafts dry at night.

If there was one side to Pacey, that he couldn't deny to himself, it was his hero syndrome, when it came to girls in trouble. While he didn't consider himself a full out Brandon Walsh, there was just something in him that made him want to help them, whenever he could see that they needed it. It wasn't even a sexual thing or because he wanted to get with them either, only about the feeling of inner satisfaction from knowing that he'd done something he could be proud of, for someone who was grateful that he'd done so. Perhaps this was why, when most guys would have just shrugged at the sight of that girl and gone on with their business, he instead made his way over there to see if there was anything he could do to help this poor homeless girl.

As he approached her however, he saw that this wasn't just any girl. He knew this girl, although not for anything he wanted to ever think about again.

After Abby had given up on the idea of going to Jen's house, seeing as they'd only had a few conversations so far and showing up there now to ask for a roof over her head for the evening would be pushing it a little too far, she'd gone down to the pier to a place that she often went to, whenever she wasn't on her mother's good graces and needed a place to hide out for a while. Often people of the town would see her down there, but it wasn't like any of them would ever bother to ask why she was there by herself, probably looking like a mess and like, she could really use someone to talk to. It was kind of a surprise to her then, when a shadowy figure made its way over to her and for a moment, she started to look for escape routes, in case this was someone, who didn't have entirely honorable intentions with her.

"Are you okay, Abby?" she heard the voice say and immediately recognized it as Pacey's, the boyfriend of her worst rival, Joey Potter.

"Why would you care, Pacey? Just leave me alone!" she told him off, yet it didn't seem to help, since he came into clear view and to her surprise, actually looked concerned for her.

"I would, but is that really what you want, when there's a thunderstorm coming?" he asked her and she had to admit, that she'd completely forgotten about the storm, in spite of them having been warned about it at school earlier that day. This was just what she needed!

"Great! I guess, I'll be coming to school wet tomorrow!" she told him, while shaking her head.

"You can't go home to your mom? It has to be better than being out here all night".

"I can't. We had a fight, so I'm "Persona Non Grata" back home, until she sobers up. If you tell Joey about it, I'm sure she'll laugh her ass of at the thought of me, all alone here, wet and miserable".

"She doesn't hate you that much! At least, I'm pretty sure, she doesn't. Okay, so maybe she does, but I don't, and I'd feel like I was the world's biggest asshole, if I just left you here" he said with a small smile, that made her think to herself, that perhaps he wasn't lying about it either.

"Since I'm fresh out of options, I'm willing to listen" she told him back with a small smile on her face to match his.

He couldn't bring Abby home without it leading to a bunch of questions, that he didn't feel like answering and there weren't any guarantees, that his dad wouldn't just throw her out on the street, no matter what he said, which only left him with one realistic option, the video store. His plan had been to drop Abby off there, lock up and come back early the day after, so he could let her out in good time before school started, but the weather gods apparently had other plans and by the time they got there, it was already pouring down and both of them were close to being soaked to the bone. With no hope of it letting up or anyone being willing to come and give him a ride home, he had to face the fact that himself and a girl, he'd always more or less loathed through his association with Joey, would be getting a whole lot better acquainted over the night that was to come.

Firstly, they needed to change into some dry clothes though, and thankfully there were entire boxes of employee t-shirts in all adult sizes for them to choose from.

"I'm guessing that you're a size small?" Pacey asked Abby, while rummaging through boxes to get to the one with S written on it.

"That's one thing, I can't run away from! Thanks for doing this, Pacey. In spite of you know ... everything!" she told him and as he turned around to smile at her, memories of the short-lived crush she'd had on him a few years earlier (at a time when who she was crushing on could easily change from day to day or even minute to minute) started flooding back to her. As little as she wanted to admit it too, she couldn't deny feeling a tiny bit of envy at Joey, for being the first one to bag him.

Honestly, she hadn't thought that "always play it safe" tomboy had it in her, to do anything that daring and when she'd seen them kissing that first time, she even had to admit to admiring her a bit for it. A very tiny bit!

"I'm a lot of things, Abby, and I know that all of them aren't things you want to be known for, but you can't say that I've ever been a jerk towards girls. Even those with a questionable record that almost matches my own" he joked smilingly and threw her a t-shirt to try on. "I should give my parents a call and tell them, I'll be staying here tonight. If you want to give your mom a call ..."

"She wouldn't give a hoot what happens to me either way, so why bother? You don't think, you can get your dad to pick you up?" she asked him, and his dry chuckle told her, that perhaps they weren't as different, as she'd been thinking they were.

"At this time of the evening? He has trouble enough sobering up for when his shift starts in the morning! My mom had her driver's license revoked last year, thanks to her third DUI in two years. That only leaves my brother Doug and since I don't feel any particular need to spend the rest of the evening listening to him finding new ways of calling me a dumbass, you're stuck with me, like it or not, miss Morgan!" he stated matter-of-factly in a way, that only barely hid how frustrated he was with his family life.

"At least, you have a family, Pacey. Ever since my mom started her downward spiral, it's as if the rest of our family have started treating us, like we have the plague. Families sure suck sometimes, don't they?" she asked him sadly and somehow it made her feel a little less alone in the world, when he nodded in agreement with her.

"On the plus side, we have a whole video store full of entertainment to choose from, so how's that for looking at the glass as half full?" he semi-rhetorically asked her, before heading out the door and letting her change her clothes in peace.

"Isn't that a novel concept?" she mused to herself, before taking her wet shirt off, soon to be replaced with a far more comfortable and not to mention, much dryer one.

After a lengthy discussion, that also constituted more talking time between them, than had ever taken place before this, they settled on watching "The Breakfast Club", seeing as Abby apparently hadn't watched it before.

"Our Saturday detention was more fun than theirs! Where's the kissing games or me getting to ogle you and Dawson in your gym shorts?" Abby quipped, before stuffing her mouth with a handful of popcorn from their shared bowl.

"Ah, the kissing games! Who can forget that day, where you forced me to kiss Jen, while I had to watch Joey and Dawson's first kiss far more up close, than I ever would have wanted to? Thanks so much for that!"

"You could have just said no! Anyway, I remember how you much you and Jen both clearly liked that kiss, like it was yesterday! I bet you spanked your monkey to the thought of that a few times afterwards, am I right?" she asked him teasingly and although he didn't feel like she had a right to know, he also had to stamp out any rumors of anything between himself and Jen, before they could reach Joey's ears.

"There's nothing going on between us, apart from her being my girlfriend's friend and for that reason alone, I'm friendly with her" he tried telling her, but it didn't look like she was buying it.

"You can't tell me that as a guy your age, whose natural instincts it is to spread your seed to as many available females as you can, you haven't jerked off to the thought of having a three-way with both of them at least a few times! I know how you guys think, Pacey! It isn't as if you make it all that hard to tell!" she fired back and for whatever reason, he felt the need to win this argument now. It also slowly began to make him see, why his girlfriend couldn't let Abby win an argument either.

"You think it's that easy, huh? What am I thinking of right now?" he asked her tauntingly.

"Sex. Now that I've put the thought in your head, you won't be able to get it out again. Just admit it!" she said triumphantly and even if he didn't want to admit it, the girl was absolutely right in what she was saying.

"No!" he lied. "I was trying to remember what happened to the guy, who plays the principal in the movie".

"You're so lying, Pacey! You don't think us girls have that naughty little word in the backs of our minds all the time too? I can tell you for a fact that if you haven't had sex with Joey yet, then it's as sure as people saying amen in church, that it's been on her mind constantly, since you guys hooked up for the first time. She knows how exactly lucky she is, believe me!"

"I'm the lucky one out of us. I know that she probably isn't topping your list of favorite girls at school, but she is pretty amazing at well ... everything she does" he said without a word of doubt in his voice.

"Don't let it go to your head, but as far as boys your age go, you're kind of a huge catch, despite your many shortcomings, Pacey. If Joey hadn't been the first one to snag you up, it wouldn't have been long until some other girl had. Even if we've only just begun on this crazy journey, known as our romantic lives, us girls aren't all entirely blind to a good thing, when we see it" she told him in a way, that looked to him as if it was from the heart.

"I'm a catch, huh?" he asked her back with a smile so cocky, that it could put Tom Cruise's in "Cocktail" to shame. "How would I compare to someone like Cliff or Chris?"

"Cliff is a total bore, whom it's physically impossible for to talk about anything except for himself! You're so far ahead of him in every category, it isn't even funny! Chris is your basic, stereotypical narcissist, who thinks he's a lot hotter than he is, not to mention that he's a disgusting, sexist pig to the core. Again, you win by a landslide!"

"What about say ... Dawson?"

"You mean the fifteen-year-old, who's going on thirty? He slightly beats you in the looks category, but as far as the rest of them go, it isn't much of a competition. Plus, I can't imagine that he would have been as nice to me, as you have been tonight. If you want the truth, I can't remember when anyone has ever done something this kind for me" she confided in him and much like when he felt like he was making Joey's life better by showering her with his love, it made him feel immensely satisfied to hear Abby say those words.

"If you want to find a way of thanking me, you could call off your bet with Joey. We both know that she won't do it, no matter how much I plead with her to, so the only way, I can think of is ..."

"You got it. I'll do it in school tomorrow, okay?" she told him, just as the sound of Bender falling through the ceiling in the movie coincided with a loud crack of thunder outside and it made her shiver a little. Being the natural born and bred nice guy that he was, it only made him all the more thankful, that he'd been able to do this for her and that she wasn't out there alone, wet and cold, something he could say was entirely to his own credit.

After they'd finished watching the movie, they'd gone to sleep at their respective bedtime quarters for the night. Her lying on a pile of t-shirts in the storeroom and him in the same chair he usually sat in, whenever he was at work. One thing they were lacking was an alarm clock, and it was thanks to being without one that by the time he shook her awake, they'd already slept through most of their first class of the day. Even though they scrambled all they could, to quickly tidy up and get there in as short a time as possible, they still couldn't make it to school, until midway through their second class of the day. Just to their bad luck it was yet another demoralizing round of being treated like they were idiots by Mr. Peterson, who on top of that was infamous for being by far the strictest teacher in school, when it came to his students being late. It was therefore with little hope of getting out of this easily that she opened the door to his classroom, where they could already hear the old closet sadist speaking from inside.

END OF CHAPTER FIVE

Chapter Text

"What a man, what a man, what a man, what a mighty good man!"

SALT-N-PEPA (From the album "Very Necessary" (1993))

Most of Joey's morning had felt like she was an involuntary actor in an absurd theatre piece, she didn't know what to think of by the end of it. Pacey missing his entire first class had her worried about him, when she thought about how bad the storm the night before had been, but that worry would soon turn into a mix of confusion and anger, when he turned up an hour and a half late with the last person, she'd expected to see him with: Abby Morgan, the wicked witch of Capeside herself! As she sat there hearing Mr. Peterson scold them, before sending them to the principal's office through one ear, while hearing the expected reactions, like a girl, whose voice she couldn't make out, whispering "I don't think we need to ask ourselves why they're late" to some other girl also sitting behind her, a veritable plethora of feelings flooded through her at the same time. The biggest of which was confusion.

That confusion didn't lessen after Peterson's class was over, when Abby (for the first time ever, where it wasn't to tease, taunt or make fun of her) came over to her to talk.

"Look, Joey, about that bet we made, I think we should call it off. It's time we tried behaving a little more adult than that, don't you agree?" Abby asked her and like a natural reaction, Joey was instantly on the lookout for any signs, that Abby didn't mean what she was saying.

"Yeah, I guess" was all Joey could get out, while the feeling of relief soared through her body.

"I'm not expecting us to all of a sudden become BFF's or anything like that, but this whole us being rivals isn't helping either of us. If you're willing to bury the hatchet once and for all, then I am too" Abby offered, but Joey couldn't help being a little suspicious either, as to where this sudden need to make peace was coming from.

"Did something happen with you and Pacey?"

"Only that he showed me last night, that there are still decent guys left in this world. I guess that if he thinks you're okay, it means there must be something to it. So, what do you say?" Abby once again asked her, as she held out her hand for Joey to shake. If she had to be completely honest, Joey didn't believe entirely that Abby was sincere, still if it meant that she wouldn't have to bother with her teasing and sly little down putting remarks anymore, it was worth a shot, at least.

That was the positive side, but the negative made up for it and then some. One thing was that she was constantly paranoid over what could have happened the night before at the video store. Especially, since she didn't trust Abby any further, than she could throw her and although she'd never actually tried throwing another human being before, she figured that with as hard as it would be for her to just lift Abby, the throw itself wouldn't be anything to write home about. What was almost as bad was that it hadn't taken longer than until the lunch break, before the simple story that Pacey and Abby were late because they'd overslept, had turned into one about them being late because they were doing it in either the boiler room or the janitor's closet, depending on whose story you chose to buy into. In some ways, she felt like she should be used to how fast and crazy the high school rumor mill ran, when it went into full overdrive, but she'd never tried being so close to the center of those rumors herself. Having tried it now, she couldn't say that it was something, she wanted to try again, for as long as she went to that school.

"I'm so glad that mom isn't here to see this, or she'd have a field day!" Jen thought to herself, as she looked herself in the mirror in the girl's room, after having changed into her cheerleader outfit for the pick-up shots for "Helmets of Glory", they had to shoot that morning. From what she'd been told, the picture quality on some of the footage they'd shot had turned out too grainy to be usable, meaning that they had to shoot a handful of scenes over again. She didn't mind all that much either, since all of the cast and crew had been given their morning classes off to do it and despite her recent raised interest in her schoolwork, it was still a welcome break from having to sit still and listen. As little as the feminist in her wanted to admit it too, she had to concede that she looked kind of cute in the outfit, even if she would rather set her own pubic hair on fire than join the actual cheerleader squad, no matter how much anyone begged her to. One thing was that it was a sexist tradition, that reduced girls to being no more than pretty bodies for guys to drool over, it was also something her mom had asked her several times to think about trying out for, which in Jen's mind was the kicker for why she shouldn't begin to consider it.

After checking her hair and make-up one last time, she came back out into the hallway and who should she run into, if it wasn't Pacey, whom she thought would have found the sight of her in the outfit hilarious. To her inner joy, he instead seemed like he liked the sight of her in it.

"My, oh my, Miss Lindley! Aren't you a sight for a pair of sore and immensely bored eyes on what already feels like a never-ending school day?" he quipped, and she couldn't help smiling to herself.

"It's just high school, Pacey! I'm sure, you'll survive" she joked back at him, while carefully and sneakily avoiding addressing his praise of how she looked.

"Re-shoots for the masterpiece that will be "Helmets of Glory?" he asked, and she nodded in reply to him.

"Enjoy this sight, while you can. You'll have a greater chance of getting an a plus in Peterson's class, than you'll have of seeing me masquerading as a member of my least favorite brainwashed cult again!" she stated, in a way that said exactly how much she meant it.

"It's a shame, if you're asking for my humble opinion. Not to sound like I'm hitting on you or anything like that, but it looks great on you. Take it from a guy, who considers himself a connoisseur in fine females around his own age. You would put all of those other girls to shame" he told her and instantly, she started feeling a wholesome kind of warmth in her belly, a feeling she hadn't experienced since she'd had her very first crushes, all of those many years earlier.

"No, I wouldn't. I mean, let's be honest here, Pace, most of the girls on the real squad can fill this outfit out a lot better, than I can. My legs are too short and stubby, I'm not nearly as pretty as many of them are ..."

"I have to stop you, because you're talking complete bullshit right now, Lindley! Look, I don't have the slightest clue what it is with girls like you and Joey, that you only see your own imperfections all the time, but you both need to stop it, now! Okay, so you're a little short and because of that, you naturally have short legs, but I can tell you for fact that there are a lot of guys here, who prefer you short girls! And if you don't think you can match up to any other girl here, when it comes to looks, all I have to say is take a look in the mirror, Lindley!"

"You're just saying that to make me feel less self-conscious over how ridiculous, I look!"

"Jen, if I wasn't with Joey, there's no doubt in my mind, who my second choice would be. Have some faith in yourself, girl!" he said to her reassuringly and strangely enough, his words seemed to do the trick. Heck, if he thought she looked great in that outfit, maybe she should even ... no, she wouldn't go that far to try to steal her best friend's boyfriend, not that she would in any case! It didn't matter how he was making her feel right now by filling her with the kind of self-confidence, she could definitely use more of or the wet dream she'd had about the two of them, making whoopee on their own little ship in the Greek Islands!

Abby had, despite the chewing out her and Pacey got from Peterson and the detention both of them were given by the principal (two things that she wished, she would have gone without), been having the best morning, she could remember having in a long time! Starting off with her making peace with Joey, something she probably should have done a long time ago, when she thought about it now, it had only gotten better from there. For once, she was the one that all the girls wanted to talk to and it had been so overwhelming, that she'd felt like she was the belle of the ball at times.

All of them were only interested in knowing one thing, what exactly had happened between herself and Pacey, and while she hadn't lied and said that something did happen (apart from him having been the perfect gentleman all of the time, they'd spent together), she also couldn't say that she had exactly denied it either. Say for example that she'd been asked if they'd had sex, she would reply something neutral like "I've never been one to kiss and tell" or ask back "Wouldn't you like to know?", answers that with the right facial expression to match it would make them believe that something happened, while still keeping herself free from any blame, should word of it reach Pacey's ears.

It felt like she had friends for the first time, since she was a kid! Actual real friends, who cared about what she had to say and friends that she could hang out with and do fun stuff with! So what, if they only liked her because of a tiny little, barely existent white lie, as long as they liked her?

As far as Abby saw it that morning, she'd managed to pull off the perfect crime by pure chance.

Paranoia. Even the word has an unpleasant ring to it and after a morning's worth of it, Joey had just about had her fill of it for one lifetime. She trusted Pacey, it wasn't that and when he'd told her the story of how he'd found Abby down by the pier and assured her that they'd slept in separate rooms, it felt to her like he was being honest. If anything, she should give him praise for being such a great humanitarian, who had helped someone in desperate need like only he could. If that wasn't the kind of guy she'd want to be the father of her children someday, then what kind of guy would be?

All she heard during the morning, or that was the way it seemed at least, were whispers about Abby and Pacey and the pity stares she'd been getting had gotten her so frustrated, that at more than one point, she'd been prepared to say, "to hell with it" and just taken off to anywhere, where she didn't have to listen to more of it. If it hadn't been for her knowing that Bessie would have chewed her out for leaving school early and that faking an illness had never worked with her in the past, she might have done it too.

Somehow, she'd made it to the lunch break without entirely losing her mind and finally having Jen to talk to again, after her having been "Jen-Less" all morning thanks to reshoots for the unintentionally funnily named "Helmets of Glory", helped a little with her terrible mood. Something had to as well, because the food being served in the cafeteria that day did very little to do its part in cheering anyone up.

"Are you guys finally finished making Cliff's testosterone-fueled homage to himself?" Joey asked, while getting ready to take another bite, she knew she would regret taking moments after she had.

"I think so. Boy, the food here today is terrible! This is the worst pile of crap, they've served us up yet, in the time I've been here!" Jen exclaimed, before pushing her plate to the side.

"They sure know how to make bringing your own lunch sound like the best idea in the world, don't they? I mean, what the hell is this even supposed be or taste like?" Joey agreed, before giving up on eating any more of it herself.

"Luckily for us, I've come prepared for an event like this" Jen told her and got two apples out of her purse, one of which she handed to Joey.

"Thanks. You're almost up there with Pacey in the running for "Capeside's Humanitarian of the Year" Joey joked, with an easily detectable hint of sarcasm in her voice.

"Cool! What can I win?"

"You win the right to live here for the rest of your life, where you'll become a soccer mom and ..."

"Stop it! You know that I can't take hearing horror stories like that one!" Jen quipped while acting like she genuinely was scared of the prospects of that being her future.

"Would you rather spend the entire morning overhearing gossip about what your boyfriend supposedly did with a girl, you can't stand?"

"I thought you said that you made peace?"

"Just because we have a truce doesn't mean I have to like her or even pretend to! Do you think they could have done it? I mean, he is a fifteen-year-old virgin boy and with as low as she's willing to stoop ... I don't want to think it, but I can't help myself!"

"For the record, I don't believe in a million years that Pacey would do that you. He's a fifteen-year-old boy yes, but he's also Pacey and in spite of a few things he's done, while I've been here, my sixth sense tells me that he has a well-developed moral core to him. As for Abby, I wouldn't entirely bet against it, but as they say, it takes two to Tango, right?"

"You have also heard the other expression "Where there's smoke, there's usually a fire", I'm assuming?"

"Joey, you're the luckiest girl in this entire school! What girl here wouldn't give the tip of her right pinky finger, for just a taste of what you and Pacey have? I've never tried anything like that and I'm not sure that I ever will, so will you do me a favor and not let some dumb false rumors, that everyone will have forgotten about in a day or two anyway, ruin a fantastic thing for you?" Jen explained, while looking Joey deeply in the eyes and the way she said it made Joey feel silly for even beginning to doubt that Pacey had told her the truth and only the truth.

"Okay, you're right! I'll try to avoid letting them bother me too much. And you will find your own great love someday, Jen! I couldn't be surer of it. Maybe, it could even be Dawson?"

"Yeah, could be" Jen answered pretty indifferently and it didn't seem to Joey like she had much in the way of faith in it. Why, the way she'd been talking Pacey up just then, a casual observer might think that Jen instead had a crush on Joey's boyfriend! But that was just crazy thinking, right?

Right?

Jen was fighting a hard fight to stay the perfect friend to Joey and usually it was pretty easy for her, considering the, in her own estimation, pretty decent acting skills, she'd worked up from lying to her parents before she came to Capeside. For whatever reason however, this was one of the days where she had a very low limit for how much "Joey & Pacey Happy Talk", she could stand listening to for one school day. This gave her the chance to observe other things at school and one thing she couldn't help noticing was how many friends Abby all of a sudden (and rather suspiciously) seemed to have! It was like all of a sudden, she'd gone from a total nobody to being the queen bee and it reminded Jen of something, she'd seen back home in New York.

"Lily Malone" Jen said to Pacey, who looked confused as to who or what she was talking about.

"Lily who?"

"She was a girl; I went to school with back in New York. In two words, she was a friendless loser, right up until a story started circulating about her having had sex with Eddie Woodrow, the starting point guard on the school basketball team. Suddenly, she started having lots of friends, in spite of the whole thing being a complete and total lie on both their parts!" Jen explained and it looked like she now had his full attention.

"Are you sure?"

"I got him to confess it to me, when we were both high out of our minds and after I'd just had sex with him. So, yeah, I'm pretty sure. She wanted to be popular, he wanted to get a clingy ex-girlfriend off his back and together, they came up with a way to make it happen. There was some brilliance to their deviousness, you have to give them!"

"Someone could make a movie out of that story. Is there any particular reason however, why you decided to grace me with this tale from your home city? Not that I didn't enjoy hearing it, or appreciated how short it was, it just came without much in the way of context leading up to it!"

""I'm sure you've heard all of the rumors about you and Abby today?"

"It's been impossible not to. My tactic is to let all of it go in one ear and out the other".

"You mean, like you do in most of your classes?" she asked teasingly.

"Exactly!" he joked, and Jen couldn't help herself from giggling a little.

"I can't say that I approve too much of those tactics, when it comes to your classes, but we'll save that conversation for another day! Haven't you seen how popular Abby has all of a sudden become? Makes you want to ask her a few questions, doesn't it?" Jen said and could see frustration building up in him in front of her eyes

"What have you been telling people?" Pacey asked Abby, when he'd caught up with her, in spite of her constant (and sometimes pretty creative) ways of avoiding him all day, since they'd left the principal's office together.

"I haven't told them anything, that isn't true!" she semi-lied in a poor attempt to easily get out of this, the latest in the long line of problems, she seemed to be a master at getting herself into.

"But?"

"I haven't told them either, that we didn't do it. I'm so sorry, Pacey! I just wanted them to like me! I totally get it if you hate me now, so if you want to tell everyone that I was lying and you never want to talk to me again, I understand. I know that ..." was as far as she got, until his laughter, to her utter confusion, interrupted her.

"You fake lost your virginity, just so some girls would like you? That's by miles more pathetic, than anything I've ever done!" he got out through his laughter and thanks to his laugh having (for reasons she couldn't explain and only since the evening before) the effect of making her want to laugh too, she had to give in and laugh along with him at how pathetic, she was being.

"I know, it's yet another low point for me! You're really not angry with me?"

"Abby, with what I've found out about you over this past day, I actually understand why you did it, crazy as it sounds. Do you really want friends like that, though? Girls, who only like you because they think you did it with me?"

"It beats having no friends, doesn't it?"

"To them, you're the flavor of the week. I'll bet you a hundred dollars that this time next month, it will have been at least a week since any of them last spoke to you, because by then no one, except for us two, will even remember us being late for school or those dumb rumors about us anymore. What you need is real friends".

"Friends like you?" she asked and the way she looked so hopeful made it impossible for him to say no.

"There's also Jen. She likes you, even if she hasn't told me in so many words and when you're this Abby, the girl I spent a night hiding out in a video store from thunderstorm with, I don't have all that much against you either" he told her with a sly smile on his face.

"I guess, I can settle for that!" she replied smilingly. "I really am sorry, Pacey. I can't imagine that this will do wonders for your reputation".

"I doubt that I could have sunk much lower after that whole Miss Jacobs ordeal either way! If anything, it'll help me to win over the most sexist and immature of the boys at school, who I'd say make up around ninety percent!"

"Try ninety-nine, Pacey! I swear, some of the boys here must have missed an evolutionary link between modern humans and cavemen!" she stated, as he nodded in agreement with her.

"If you want to find a way to make it up to myself and Joey, there is one thing, you can help me out with and through that, also indirectly help out Joey".

"Just tell me what to do and I'll do it! Unless ... it isn't us having a three-way, is it?" she had to ask and seeing him shaking his head at the idea brought her a brief feeling of relief.

"No! It's nothing like that! I need you to tell me what the most romantic thing you could think of someone doing for you is and then help me to make it happen for Joey".

Although Joey would never be her favorite girl in Capeside, Abby still felt like it was the least, she could do for them, all things considered.

Joey had a sucky shift at work to match the bad day, she'd had at school. Not counting all of the times, she'd seen people she knew from school pointing at her and no doubt recounting the story, she couldn't wait to die out in no time, her bad mood had also made every minute feel like ten and from the time, she got there, she wanted to leave again ASAP. The only positive was that she had the evening off but knowing that all that awaited her were her schoolbooks, made it a small comfort at the most. The wasn't even anyone to drive her home and on the near four-mile walk, more paranoid thoughts kept flooding through her head. If Pacey had slept with Abby or just made out with her, it would mean she'd have to break up with him and she didn't want to do that either. Now that she'd gotten used to him doing little things to spoil her all the time, when they were together and not the least, making out with him (something that thoughts of alone could help her get through any long school or workday), it wasn't something she wanted to give up on easily either. Maybe, she could forgive him, as long as they hadn't gone all the way. If they'd gone that far, then it was definitely over!

Those thoughts evaporated very quickly, when she saw what awaited her on their front lawn. Because there stood Pacey waiting for her by a small tent, with a pink and white rose petals spelling out "I Love You, Joey" on the ground in front of it.

"If you hear a story about Mrs. Palmer freaking out over someone stealing her roses over the next days, don't be too surprised! I wanted it to spell out "I Love You, Joey. You're the Only Girl for Me" and in much larger letters, but she was about to catch us, so we had to make a run for it".

"You and ... ?"

"Abby. She had a little to do with those rumors going out of control and wanted to help me do this, as a way to apologize to you. I mean, it was my idea, but she didn't object to having to help me with it and for Abby ..."

"That's a step up! I love it, Pacey! Somehow, you keep making this adventure we're on, better with every day that passes by. I want you to know that I didn't believe in any of that stuff, people were saying today and if you want to be friends with Abby or whatever, I guess it's okay with me. From what you and Jen have told me, she really is a sad case, isn't she?" she asked him and from the look on his face, she could see that she wasn't far off in her assumption.

"She needs someone to help her right now. If you don't want me to ..."

"In case you've forgotten it, Pace, I'm a girl with a mom, who died two years ago and a dad in jail. Do you know how lucky we were, that it was one of the better tourists seasons this year? That's the money we'll have to survive on in the lean months at the restaurant over the winter. I have a baby nephew, who keeps me up, when I should be sleeping, we live in an old house with a poorly insulated roof, that only barely helps to keep the cold out in the winter and has pipes, that constantly clog up, because they should have been replaced decades ago! In other words, if anyone knows what it feels like to be a teenage loser in this town, you're looking at her! I would feel like such a bitch, if I told you that you couldn't help Abby out and I happen to like that I can look in the mirror and not have too many complaints about the girl, I see in it. Maybe ... and I can't believe I'm saying it ... I could even try to become friends with her! I'm not guaranteeing anything, though! Let me make that clear!" she told him before being interrupted by the kind of sweet kiss, that made her instantly forget about all of the bad things that had happened that day.

"That's all, I ask. Shall we?" he gallantly asked her, before pointing down to the blanket and the picnic basket placed on top of it, that awaited them.

Jen spent that evening trying to study, but she kept regularly finding her thoughts being interrupted by short, unwanted fantasies of things, her inner most primal self, wanted to do with Pacey.

By sheer coincidence, Abby was doing the exact same thing.

END OF CHAPTER SIX

Chapter Text

"Don't you want somebody to love?
Don't you need somebody to love?
Wouldn't you love somebody to love?
You better find somebody to love"

JEFFERSON AIRPLANE (From the album "Surrealistic Pillow" (1967))

Dawson saw himself as being at least in the top half among guys his age, when it came to patience. When it came to one Jen Lindley however, it was safe to say that his patience was starting to run a little thin. This coupled with him really not wanting to be one of those pushy guys, who practically force girls into bed with them, made for quite the dilemma in his life. It was thanks to this, and since they hadn't hung out nearly as much as they used to since she'd found a boyfriend (which while understandable, bothered him a little and made him feel underappreciated), that he'd invited Joey over for a movie night, where it would only be the two of them. Pacey was having to attend a "Family Thing", something that Dawson knew his friend would probably be enjoying as much, as he would getting kicked squarely in the balls by an angry horse, and with Jen being on "Abby-Watch" that evening, he felt like he would be a fool, if he didn't use this chance for some alone time with the girl, who meant so much to him.

"So, how's the whole "You and Pacey Thing" going?" he asked her casually, while putting his copy of "Hook" back in its case. If there was one movie that the two of them could always agree on was worth a re-watch, that would be it.

"Pretty good! I mean, the sex is terrible, and he still hasn't lasted a minute, but he does a great job at figuratively kissing my ass all the time, so I might as well exploit him a little more, while I can!" Joey joked and he had to smile to himself as well.

"Liar! You haven't gone all the way with him, or I would have been able to tell from the goofy smile, he would have had practically sculpted onto his face for days afterwards!" he joked back, and it got a nice little laugh out of her too.

"I don't think you would be entirely wrong there, let me leave it that! Actually, it's kind of great, this whole being in love thing and having someone who's that special to you there, for you to share it with. You should try it sometime" she told him more honestly and while the jealousy in him hadn't entirely gone away, like he hoped it would in time, as a whole, he was just plain happy for her, that something was finally going the exact way she wanted it to, in her life. After being a witness to all of the bad and often completely unfair things that had happened to that girl over the first part of her teenage years, he felt like she deserved as much as anyone did, to get to enjoy to the fullest the remainder of them with someone that truly cared about her, like he knew better than anyone perhaps, that Pacey did.

"I'd like to, but it doesn't really feel like I'm getting anywhere with that girl across the street. You know, the one that isn't an old lady?"

"Or as she prefers to be called, Jen?"

"That's the one. I don't know, what's going on with her. A month ago, it felt like we were getting somewhere and were starting to connect on a deeper level and now ... I can't tell where I stand with her. Maybe, someone with more romantic experience would have been able to read her signals, better than I could. It just isn't me, that's for sure" he confided, before slumping down on the bed next to Joey.

"You do know that there are other girls your own age in Capeside, aside from myself and Jen, don't you? It sounds insane, I know, but it's actually true! You need to get out there and meet some new people, Dawson! Here's a secret for you: It's not as scary, as you think it is!" she semi-joked while smiling at him and while he wasn't ready to give up on Jen yet, not by a long shot, it was also kind of obvious to him that with Pacey and Joey now being romantically involved and not having the same amount of time for him, that they used to have, it wouldn't hurt him to get to know some new people, that he could potentially hang out with instead.

Pacey had been having an evening, that was like something straight from the X-Files, if we were speaking in an emotional sense. Growing up, the one thing he could say for his family was that they offered him a relative amount of stability and when his older sister Gretchen had still been living with them, he'd always had someone of a somewhat similar mindset as his own, that he could come to and talk about whatever was on his mind. Doug, his older brother, and he were like night and day in many of the ways they viewed the world, with Doug being first one to uphold the rules, while Pacey (in his rebellious teenage mind) wanted to break as many of them as he could, as long as he didn't get caught and punished for it. Back in school, Doug had never been late for a single class, had never handed in a report late and while he didn't bring home many A's, he'd also never gotten below a B, something that Pacey had never been able to brag about, Still, when push came to shove, they shared a deeper connection from having grown up so closely together, that was undeniable to both of them and was why Pacey wasn't afraid to admit, that he loved his older brother a whole lot.

When it came to his parents, it hadn't been a secret to him or his siblings for a long time, that their marriage was most likely on the rocks. They barely spoke to one another and his dad would always fall asleep in front of the TV (usually after a healthy intake of beer during the evening, if he wasn't working late and didn't have the time for it), so in truth they hadn't slept in the same bed for years and as for seeing any signs that either of them even gave a damn what happened to the other, they had been very few and very, very far in between.

Should it have been such a huge surprise to him then, when his mom had sat him and Doug down the evening before to tell them, that she'd kicked their dad out and was planning on filing for divorce? It didn't feel like it should have, yet it undeniably had been and for the first time that he could remember, he started to feel sorry for his dad. From what their mom had told them, he'd told her that he was temporarily moving in with one of the officers at the station, until he found his own place. It wasn't even known to her, that the officer he'd been talking about had been her own son and when he'd heard it, Pacey also had to feel sorry for "Neat-Freak" Doug, that he would have to house his old man, who wasn't exactly known for taking part in any kind of housework, if he could avoid it.

"They're really splitting up? I'm sorry, man" Dawson told him, as they were heading to the first class of the day, which happened to be a favorite of Pacey's (and many other boys in that class). The sole reason was that they had a young temp teacher in her mid-twenties named Miss Foxworthy, or "Miss Foxy" as many of the boys called her, who aside from having one of the prettiest faces, he could ever remember seeing in real life, also sometimes clearly didn't wear a bra. That one moment, where she'd leaned over to pick up a pencil and her sweater slid down just deep enough, that everyone in the classroom could get the tiniest glance at what was underneath that sweater, had without a doubt made for plenty of locker room conversations in its wake.

"It's alright. I'm sure that "Miss Foxy" will find a way to cheer me up this morning!"

"Haven't you been down that road one too many times, my friend?"

"It's on a strictly "Only look, don't touch level" this time, believe me!"

"That's a small relief!"

"Anyway, I shudder to think what Joey would do, if she caught me cheating on her! I don't know what it is, but lately, it's like girls have begun to look at me in a different way! Like they're eating me up with their eyes or something!"

"Isn't that what you always wanted?"

"Sure, when I was single, I did! There is the off chance of course, that it's all in my head. I wouldn't rule that out entirely either" Pacey had just said, when a rather cheery looking Abby caught up with them.

"What's in your head?" she asked him, looking a little curious.

"Pacey has this idea ..."

"It isn't an idea, it's more like a feeling!" Pacey corrected him.

"A feeling then, that because he's with Joey now, girls have started looking at him differently" Dawson explained and Abby only had an eye roll in response.

"Haven't you guys learned anything about girls yet in your fifteen years on Earth? Deep down, many of us want what we can't have, so of course they were bound to start looking at you differently, Pacey! So, anyway, what are we doing tonight?" she asked Pacey and from the excited look on her face, it wouldn't have surprised Dawson to find out, that Abby counted herself among the others in Pacey's new girls only Fanclub.

"You'll be keeping me company at the video store, now that someone absolutely had to have today off. I'm sorry, but that's all of the excitement, I have on sale today" Pacey fake apologized to her, even if it didn't look like she minded one bit.

"That's okay. We'll just watch movies, shoot the breeze and stuff our faces with popcorn. Sounds like heaven to me! See you later, I have to talk to Jen before class starts" she said, before hurrying up the hallway.

"That girl likes you and unless I really don't have a clue how to read girl signals, I don't think it's just in a friend way anymore!" Dawson had to tell his friend and judging from the facial expression, he got back, it didn't look like it hadn't crossed Pacey's mind either.

Mary-Beth had always hated being the mousy girl in class, yet that was just who she'd become thanks to her shyness, that followed her like a curse, everywhere she went. Her parents had told her that back in kindergarten, she was always referred to as "The Quiet Girl", because she rarely said anything and perhaps that was why, she'd never made any close friends there either. The closest she got to it was the girls, who tried to tease her, but them not getting a reaction back (not because she didn't want to, just because she was too shy to say anything back to them), meant that even they gave up on trying to talk to her and on most days, she'd felt like she was one with the wallpaper there. Her first years in school, she'd been lucky to find a friend her own age in Jessie, who'd helped her open up a little bit, to where she at least wasn't afraid of talking to strangers anymore and Mary-Beth had always felt like if she had Jessie by her side, then it couldn't go entirely wrong. Now that Jessie's parents had moved to Canada and taken her with them however, Mary-Beth was back to being alone and as bad as she was at making friends, she figured that it was bound to stay that way for a while longer, probably until she reached college age.

Then there was the matter of Cliff, her crush since grade six and until recently, the only one that she'd had any kind of fantasies about, if we aren't counting one or two-time occurrences involving various celebrities. What had become more apparent with every day recently though, was that her chances of getting her Prince Charming were approaching zero to none, with all of the other (much prettier in her own opinion and definitely more outgoing) girls than herself, who'd set their eyes on his hunky self. Even during their quasi-date (which was really a double date with two other people involved) at the annual Capeside fun faire, he'd shown little to no interest in getting with her at all and it was now clear to her, that she needed to look elsewhere for her next big crush.

It wasn't like there weren't options to choose from, as far as how many hot guys there were at her school, but she wanted it to be someone she had a realistic chance of scoring with this time around. That alone ruled out every guy at school, who was already involved with someone, and left her with the scraps, most of whom she could easily see why were still single. Like Kenny for example, who wasn't ugly by any means and seemed nice, but whose personal hygiene left a lot to be desired and whenever she was sitting close him in class, she could easily smell the foul odors emanating from his corpus. Or Eric, who was arguably among the hottest guys in school, but clearly had the emotional maturity of a blueberry scone and still thought that the ability to make fart sounds with his armpit was greatest invention known to man. There was Dawson of course, her recent and so far only date of her life. He checked all of her boxes in the looks department and would have been a prime candidate, if it hadn't been for him obviously having a huge crush on Jen, the relatively new girl in class. It was almost sad for her to see, that he was so bad at reading signals, that he couldn't see she wasn't interested in him when, if he'd tried asking Mary-Beth out for real, without it being a plot to mess up someone else's date this time, she'd probably say yes just for the fun of it and to get a rare for her, evening out on the town out of it.

"I'm sorry. Are you okay?" Joey asked Pacey, before laying a soft and caring kiss on him that was just what he needed at that moment, after he'd told her the news about his parents.

"Yeah, it's just weird, you know? I mean, with so many other people I know having divorced parents, it shouldn't come as any major surprise and who knows, hopefully it'll turn out better for the both of them, if they aren't living together anymore" he said, while simultaneously desperately hoping in his gut, that he would be right.

"You just never thought it would happen in your family either, did you? I know that feeling from when we found out about my dad's affair, believe me!" Joey told him and it wasn't a surprise to him in any way, that she would understand, like she always did. It was little things like those, that sometimes made him wonder what he ever did before he had her to lean on.

"I'm sure that eventually we'll all move on with our lives and things will feel like they're back to normal, it's just that right now that seems like it's so far away into the future, that I can't wrap my head around it yet. It's too bad, you're working tonight. I could use a bit of you "working your magic" on me" he asked her with a forced smile, so that it wouldn't ruin her day too. Him knowing that she would in all likelihood end up feeling sorry for him, if he did tell her how depressed he was over the whole thing, was the last thing he wanted on his conscience.

"You'll have to wait until tomorrow. Anyway, it was your own idea that you and Jen take turns keeping Abby company in the evening, so that she doesn't end up getting too depressed over her home life and I didn't choose to be with you, because you were a quitter!" she told him with that cheeky smile on her face, that made it humanly impossible for him to say no anything that she wanted from him.

"Let me just take a second to revel in this, Dawson. It isn't every day that I score two whole grade points above you on any kind of test" Pacey said with a smug look on his face, that had a feeling of extreme annoyance building up in Dawson's stomach.

"How could I have done this bad? A D minus? Really?" he said, while trying to grasp that he'd completely botched his latest chemistry test. Of course, it could have something to do with Jen sitting right in front of him during the test clouding his concentration, still he'd never expected to have done this badly. "Another question is how I'll explain this to my parents?"

"Take it from a pro, when it comes to this stuff, my old compadre! Don't ask, don't tell, works pretty well, in cases of needing to hide a bad grade from your folks! Hey, that almost rhymed!" Pacey quipped, although Dawson found it hard to see any humor in the situation.

"My parents aren't like yours. Mine actually care what grades I get!"

"There's the possibility of seeing if you can come up with a good enough excuse, that they'll allow you to take a make-up test" his friend suggested and it wasn't the worst idea, Dawson had ever heard. On the other hand, what kind of excuse could he come up with except for "I'm fifteen, which is why I'm close to constantly horny and the object of my affections was sitting right in front of me, so I couldn't focus on my work".

"Nah, it's too risky. Knowing my mom, she'll try to find me a tutor or even worse, she'll try to tutor me herself!" Dawson said, which made Pacey flinch, as if by natural reflex.

"You need to do anything you can, to prevent that from happening! No teenage boy should be forced to spend that much time alone with their mom!" Pacey stated and it wasn't like Dawson didn't agree with him. Surely, he loved his mom and having little talks with her now and again. The thought of being forced to spent hours at a time in close contact with her on the other hand, made stealing a boat down on the harbor and sailing away to an unknown destiny or running off to join a carnival sound like pretty valid options to him.

"You're preaching to the right congregation, Pace, but you telling me these things just doesn't solve anything right now! What I need is a tutor, who's someone I can stand to be around, for one thing" he thought out loud.

"That cuts us down to around five percent of the student population on these fine premises".

"Plus, they at the very minimum have to be better at myself at the subject".

"That cuts another two percent off! Sorry, Dawson, but your performance on that test was nothing short of pitiful!"

"You won't hear any arguments from me! Where do I find someone like that?" he asked rhetorically, just as Joey came over to join them.

"Hi, guys! What's up?" she asked smilingly, before giving Pacey a small hug.

"Our friend here needs to find himself a chemistry tutor in a hurry. He bombed pretty bad on that last test, we had" Pacey explained and it made Joey's face scrunch up a little in sympathy with himself.

"How bad was it?" she asked him.

"The worst that I've ever done on a test, by a long way! Let's just say that it was so bad, that there's sure to be a family meeting come out of it".

"Ouch! Have you tried looking for one on the school's brand-new online message board?" she asked and up until that moment, he hadn't known that the school had one.

Now that he did, there was nothing to lose by checking it out and that was how he found himself in the library later that day, staring at a PC screen.

"This is a complete waste of time. "My Mommy, the Tutor", here I come!" he whispered frustratedly to himself without knowing that the answer to all of his problems was walking up right behind him.

"Are you going to be long on the computer, Dawson?" Mary-Beth asked him, and he turned around to look at what he had to consider the most overall average girl, he'd met in his life. So overwhelmingly average in fact, that he most of the time forgot all about her presence, even when he was in the same room as her.

"No, Mary-Beth, you can have it. I won't find what I was looking for, anyway" he told her and stood up to let her take his seat in front of the PC. He was just about to leave, when she spoke again.

"What were you looking for? Maybe, I can help you. I'm pretty good with these things" she offered kindly and if nothing else, he felt that her friendliness needed to be returned in kind, so he turned around and smiled at her, in the nicest and friendliest way, he could.

"I don't think, you can. Thanks for offering to help, but unless you know where I can find a tutor in chemistry by the end of today ..."

"I could tutor you, if you'd like. I've gotten A's on every chem test, I've ever taken" she got out, before turning around to stare at the screen, like she was ashamed of having asked him.

"How much do you charge?" Dawson asked her and as she turned back around and smiled at him, he knew that he had his tutor in the bag.

Mary-Beth was nervous, as she walked up to Dawson's house, after having been dropped off by her dad. Very nervous. While you wouldn't think that a simple study date would be enough to get a girl her age that worked up, in Mary-Beth's case it was also the first time, she'd been alone with a boy, as far as she could remember, anyway. That it was Dawson, who at least seemed like he was a step above most of the boys in their grade, when it came to maturity, only helped to heighten her enthusiasm and as a downside, also make her much more nervous, than she wished, she'd been. As she stood there on his parents' front porch after having rang the doorbell and waiting eagerly, as she heard footsteps approaching the door, lots of scenarios played out in her head. More than one of them involving herself and Dawson sucking face.

END OF CHAPTER SEVEN

Chapter Text

"Everybody needs a place to rest, everybody wants to have a home.
Don't make no difference what nobody says, ain't nobody like to be alone.
Everybody's got a hungry heart, everybody's got a hungry heart.
Lay down your money and you play your part, everybody's got a hu, hu, hungry heart!"

BRUCE SPRINGSTEEN (From the album "The River" (1980))

If there was one thing Dawson had been afraid of prior to his study-date with Mary-Beth, it was that his dad would make a big deal out of him having a girl over, who wasn't living across the street or was named Joey. According to Murphy's law then, it almost went without saying, that that's exactly what he did!

"So, tell me about this girl, you're having over and means so much to you, that you had me buy you chips and soda for the occasion. Is she cute?" his dad had asked him, while they were cleaning up after dinner and a short while before his "date" for the evening would be arriving.

"She's just Mary-Beth. There's really nothing remarkable about her, except that she's better at chemistry than me and that's why I asked her to tutor me" Dawson answered in a tone that he hoped did enough to imply, that this wasn't a subject he was up for having any kind of major father/son talk over.

"Dawson, I 'm not so old that I don't remember why half of the guys, who asked girls to tutor them back in high school, actually asked them. So ...?"

"She is kind of pretty, in her own very understated way. Did you know anyone, who was always there for most of the time, while you were growing up, you just never really noticed them being there?"

"Probably, yes. It's most likely also why I don't remember, what their names were" his dad admitted with a small chuckle.

"That's been my relationship with her so far in a nutshell. I mean, she's nice and it isn't like we haven't always been friendly with each other, I've just never thought of her as being more than, well ... Mary-Beth! Then again, with the slim pickings among girls my age here that I could possibly, in some way see myself dating, apart from the two you know, she is one of the few, I can't remember ever having anything against. Maybe that should be enough for me" Dawson gave as the best answer he could, while they finished filling up the washing machine and afterwards got its cleaning cycle started.

"Either way, it's nice for me to see you making new friends. I didn't want to say anything before this, but I think, it could be good for you to branch outside of your usual social circle. I'm positive that your mom thinks so as well" his dad told him with a smile, that more annoyed Dawson a little, than how it was intended to come off.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Only that now where it looks like Pacey and Joey's relationship is turning into something more serious, at least as far as teenage relationships go, they'll want to spend more time alone together and you'll have no choice, except to be fine with it. We just don't want you to become lonely, that's all" his dad shared with him, before padding him on the shoulder.

Pacey was having the one thing, he for once in a rare while didn't wish he'd had: A quiet evening at "Screen Time". His hope had been that with a steady run of customers, he would only have to check in with Abby in between himself having to work. That way he could say that he'd done, what he agreed to and didn't run too much of a risk of himself saying anything, that could be considered flirty by her, in case that Dawson was right, and she actually did have a crush on himself.

Unfortunately for him, they now had competition in the form of the re-opening of an old video store in the next town over, that had been turned into a brand-new Blockbuster and been advertising opening week prizes, that their own little privately run store couldn't compete with. Probably for that reason alone, it had been an insanely slow afternoon, that from his experience from working there for practically all of the past year, also looked like it would be followed by an even slower evening, when Abby arrived, ready for him to keep her entertained.

It wasn't as if he hadn't begun to have protective feelings for the poor, unfortunate girl, after he'd begun to find out what life was like for her and gotten a small taste of what she was really like, behind her multiple layers of emotional armor. He liked to think that when she was alone with himself or Jen, that would be her chance to just relax and be herself and hopefully, little things like that would help her to cope with the rest of her sometimes-miserable life in Capeside. If he could, then it almost goes without saying that he would do more for her, but the one place he had to draw the line, was at anything romantic happening. He had Joey now, who was keeping him more than satisfied (although he was still somewhat in the dark, when it came to if she regretted what they'd done in the storeroom) and the thought alone, that he would end up doing anything, even by pure accident, to hurt that incredible girl, had sometimes been enough to make him feel physically ill.

"Just to do something rebellious tonight, let's try watching a movie from the international film section" Abby suggested.

"As in "with subtitles"? I don't know ..." he said in an annoyed tone, trying to get out of it.

"With as little reading as you do, when it comes to school, doing some reading on the job won't hurt you! Who knows? Miracles might happen and you'll find yourself feeling more sophisticated, when we're done watching it! Granted, it wouldn't take much, but it could be a good start for you!" she playfully taunted him and seeing as it would at least make it a tiny bit of a different workday, he (more or less) agreed to it.

"Nothing weird with a ton of symbolism! I'm a red-blooded, meat and potatoes American! I need my stories to be more or less simple, so I can understand all of the time, what's going on!" he told her, laying down the rules. Moments later, they were going over a small section of movies, that were rarely rented out and when they were, it was usually to the kind of customers that Pacey could imagine liked to have a bit of "Herbal Refreshment", to go along with their movie watching (and he wasn't thinking about tea!).

"No action movies and I want a movie with plenty of romance in it" she said, which cut around half of them, including most of the ones he had his eyes on, out of the running.

"No low budget stuff either. I've gotten enough of watching those, from having had to sit through Dawson's movie with him, far more times that I would have wanted to!" he stated, which cut them down to a lean twenty or somewhere there about.

"It's a shame, we don't have that movie here!" Abby exclaimed to a wide headshake from himself.

"No, it isn't!" he told her back instantly and unequivocally. "Okay, what about this one?" he suggested, while holding up the cover for the Luc Besson movie "Taxi".

"I said, no action movies! They always get me too hyped up, if I watch them too close to my bedtime and then, I can't fall asleep afterwards. All I want is a movie with a cute love story, I can get invested in, without having to think too hard to follow it, some teenage characters that I can relate to ..." she stopped, after she'd set her eyes on a title on the display case. She picked it up and read what it said on the back, before presenting it as her next suggestion.

"What do you say to a movie about Swedish teen lesbians? You can't tell me that as a boy smack-dab in the middle of the "24/7 Horny Age", that doesn't pique your interest!" she asked, while holding up the cover for a movie called "Show Me Love", that they'd gotten in half a year earlier or so. He could only remember renting it out once and it was to some guy, that from the looks him, Pacey suspected wouldn't be watching it for its story, as much as for the chance to see the two pretty teenage girls on the front cover, playing an intense game of tonsil hockey with one another.

Being that it was the best suggestion, they'd had so far and seeing as there was a side to him, that had long suspected that his brother was gay, he figured that perhaps it could help to broaden his horizon, when it came to same sex relationships. That and as a heterosexual fifteen-year-old boy, seeing those two cute girls on the cover making out was something, he just had to see for himself, now that the thought had already been put into his head!

Mary-Beth was already nervous enough without anything embarrassing happening on top of it and all she wanted was to carry herself with a little bit of grace, not to make a fool of herself and perhaps even, get a second study date out of it. Those plans already went out the window less than a minute after she'd walked through their front door, when she stumbled on her way up the stairs to his room and it send the notes that she'd brought, flying all over the place. He'd been very sweet in helping her with picking them up and hadn't mentioned it again afterwards, but another downside was that her notes were now completely out of order and after she'd spent far too long looking through them for the first half hour, she had to concede that there was nothing to do, except to wing it for the rest of the evening. It had gone fine for the most part and she'd managed to avoid them having too many awkward silences, although she wasn't sure that she hadn't said something a time or two, that wasn't blatantly wrong and presented it to him as fact.

So, she'd stumbled and not really been all that great of a tutor, but at least the bad part was over now, and she could begin to try to enjoy herself. Or so, she thought.

Dawson spent the first half of his evening not being entirely sure that someone wasn't pranking him or had him on hidden camera. Because never in his life, had he ever met anyone or for that matter, thought that he would meet anyone, who was as clumsy as Mary-Beth! She'd started off by taking a nose-dive right into the stairs, the first one ever to do so, and from there on, it had only gotten worse. She'd spilled chips all over his bed more than once, spilled soda on her pants so many times that he'd lost count (seriously, had this girl somehow not learned after all of those years, how to drink from a glass?) and he was pretty sure that some of the things, she'd said, had been out and out false.

Why then, was he slowly starting to find it endearing, when it would have annoyed the heck out of him, if it had been Pacey or Joey, who'd turned his bed into a mess of crumbs and soda stains? Little by little, he found himself smiling more at her and in return, she smiled back at him in that adorably shy way of hers, that practically screamed out how innocent, she was. When she spoke, it was in this soft and feminine way, that was like an opposite to Joey, who had basically always talked like a boy would and still also different from Jen, whom he would place somewhere in the middle of that specter. In a strange way he kind of liked how it set her apart from them and the way she looked at him, like this study date was the most important thing, that had ever happened to her and like she really cared about everything, he had to say. A stark contrast to Jen, whom he could swear would tend to zone out, when they talked and unlike how it was with Joey, with whom it felt like he'd already debated every possible topic at least twice, with Mary-Beth, it was like he was starting completely fresh with a girl (their one "date", if you could actually call it that, excluded).

Maybe, he began thinking to himself, getting this one bad grade wouldn't turn out to be such a terrible thing after all?

Pacey hadn't expected to get more out of watching the movie than seeing a pair of girls kissing, but he (to his own surprise) found himself liking it a whole lot and almost as much, as Abby looked like she was. All things considered though, it wasn't that hard for him to see why it would hit home with her, since one of the girls in the movie practically could have been modelled after her. The town it was set in reminded him a great deal of Capeside as well.

"That was exactly the movie, I needed to watch tonight!" Abby exclaimed, as some very girly pop song played over the closing credits.

"You're not the homophobic type then, I take it?" he asked her, while already knowing the answer and he couldn't help from himself from smiling a little at how cheerful, she looked.

"Anyone who is, is blasted in the brain, if you ask me! Girl/boy, boy/boy, girl/girl, who cares? As long as it's consensual and no one is getting hurt, who are some narrow-minded bible pushers to say what's right and what isn't?" she told him, and they clearly had similar points of view on the whole thing. From what he knew, he'd only ever seen one gay couple before in real life, a pair of clearly well-to-do twenty-something guys from Boston, that he'd seen around town lots of times and been told by Doug, come up to their neck of the woods once in a while for a quiet weekend getaway from the hustle and bustle of the big city (and to the delight of some of the locals, spend more than plenty while they were there). Of course, he had in all likelihood talked to several of them, without knowing it and honestly, he didn't give a rat's behind in any case. The way he saw it, who they fell in love with was only their business and for that sole reason, none of his.

"Could you ever see yourself kissing a guy?" she asked him.

"No!"

"Not even DiCaprio?"

"Not even Dicaprio! What about you? Would you kiss someone like ... that black haired girl from "Roswell"?"

"If I was paid enough ..."

"Without getting paid. Just for the thrill of kissing a girl like that".

"Would you?"

"We're only talking about you here. Would you kiss her?" he asked again and the fact alone, that she had to take so long to think about it, told him what the real answer probably was.

"I wouldn't. For one thing, I've never met her, and she could be a total bitch, for all I know!"

"A-ha! So, you would kiss another girl, if you were friends with her first? Is that what I'm hearing?"

"Theoretically, yes. I would be willing to try it, if we were really good friends first and I knew for a fact that I could trust her, not to use it against me. Unfortunately, I have to take into account that we live in a small-minded town, full of those narrow-minded bible pushers, I mentioned before. Seeing as I'm having less success with the boys, than a normal house cat would have in an otherwise "Sharks Only Fish-Catching Competition", I may as well consider switching sides" she conceded with herself.

It's always hard to say in the time after, which small moments are those, that change someone's life. All Pacey knew was that after this evening, he never felt like he had any reason to be afraid of Abby having a crush on him anymore.

Mary-Beth felt like she could die of embarrassment, by the time their study date started to draw to a close. She would admit to sometimes being a little bit of a klutz, but it was like all of the little accidents she would usually have in year, had somehow been compiled into this one evening! Whenever one had happened, she would keep telling herself that this had to be the last one, but the mishaps just kept coming and she didn't know how to stop them! To be truthful, she was surprised that he hadn't gotten angry with her at all, and every time been extremely patient with her. In that way, he'd actually been very sweet and shown her, that he was just like she'd imagined him to be: A sensitive artist, who treated girls gently and with respect. Or to put it another way, exactly what she'd been hoping to find in her first boyfriend.

What hope did she have though, that he would want to have her over again, after the walking disaster, she'd been all evening? It was therefore with little hope of her getting a third chance with him, that she stood waiting for him to open the door for her and let her probably leave his life forever.

"So, I guess, I'll see you at school" she said, trying to not sound too disappointed in herself.

"You don't want to schedule or next study session now? If this whole you being my tutor is going to be a regular thing, it would be nice, if I could plan for it" he (to her enormous surprise) asked her, which also had the unusual side effect of making her have to fight the urge not to throw her fists in the air in celebration, Bender in "The Breakfast Club" style, right then and there!

"Yeah, sure. Look, I want you to know that I'm not usually as clumsy, as I was tonight. It's just that I was kind of nervous, since this was the first time, I'd tried something like this. I promise that next time, you'll see a one hundred percent more accident-free version of me!" she confessed to him and hearing that he was able to laugh at it, in what was a new experience for her, made herself do the same.

"I'll take your word for it. How does this Friday sound?" he asked and seeing as Mary-Beth rarely had anything of matter on her social calendar, she didn't need to think too hard about it.

"That's cool with me. Although, it wouldn't feel right for me to take your money. I'm pretty sure that I stated some facts to you tonight, that were just plain ..."

"Wrong? Yeah, I picked up on it a few times! How about this, then? Instead of us calling it you acting as my tutor, we'll just say that we've become study buddies?" he suggested, and she could easily admit to liking that idea a whole lot better. Plus, with how much of a gentleman Dawson had been towards her all evening, in spite of everything that had happened, how could she say no?

"That's fine with me. Friday it is, then! I should go outside and wait for my dad, I'm sure he'll be here real soon" she got out nervously, as she waved goodbye to him and headed out the door to wait for her dad to arrive and take her home.

Over the following days, the two of them began talking more at school and as an added bonus, Mary-Beth found that being accepted by his friends was far easier, than she'd imagined it would be. It only took a few days, for them to start treating her like she'd been a part of their tightly knit "Group of Outcasts" for ages already. By the time Dawson and Mary-Beth reached Friday, their "study date" had turned into dinner at the Ice House followed by them going to see the most romantic movie, they had playing at The Rialto that evening. To no one's surprise by that point, least of all her and Dawson's friends, the last thing they thought about that evening was studying.

END OF CHAPTER EIGHT

Chapter Text

"I´m coming up, so you better get this party started!"

PINK (From the album "Missundaztood" (2001)

"If you're planning on going without any of the fun stuff all the way through high school, I hate to break it to you, Jen. I just don't see it happening" Abby told her at their lunch table in her classic, never hold any punches kind of way.

"She can, if she wants to! Don't tell her something like that, or it could lead to her falling in again!" Joey (as it usually was whenever Abby stated any kind of point of view, or if it was Joey stating something and it was the other way around) disagreed with her.

"It isn't like I'm for sure planning to ..." was all that Jen got out, before the two fighting hens she was eating lunch with, started another round of verbal sparring. As she had quickly come to realize, finding any kind of common ground between her two best girlfriends was harder, than it would have been to magically make her crush on Pacey go away, another thing that wasn't going all that well for herself either.

"Just because you've always been prude, doesn't mean that she has to turn into one too!" Abby snarled at Joey, who was getting so hyped up, that Jen could have sworn that it she herself hadn't been there, it would have ended with blood being shed, right in the middle of the cafeteria!

"I'm a prude? Why is it that I've never seen you with a guy, Abby? There has to one among this group of boys here, that tickles your fancy, so what's stopping you?" Joey fired back at her, while Jen rubbed her temples to get rid of the massive headache, the two of them were giving her. As much as she loved both of them, there was also a small part of her that wanted to bang their heads together, as hard as she could and tell the both of them to just grow up already!

"Unlike you, I'm not skanky enough to throw myself at the first guy, who shows any interest in me!" Abby tauntingly shot of the next volley.

"How would you know, when no guy has ever shown an interest in you?" Joey returned fire with and seeing as almost everyone around where they were sitting, were now watching this girly horror show unfold, Jen finally thought it necessary to call an end to the battle.

"Okay, I think that has to be enough for this day! Not just for you two, it's mostly for my own sanity's sake! Both of you, go to your corners and just shut up, please!" Jen sternly told them and to a small extent, it worked. For around ten seconds or so.

"I could get a guy to make out with me, if I wanted to! It can't be that hard, if you can do it, Joey!" Abby started off round six of their lunch break with.

"Prove it, then, Abby. I dare you to get one romantic looking kiss on the mouth, in the company of someone, I can trust, who'll testify to it!" Joey dared Abby and if there was one thing Jen had learned about the two of them, it was that they rarely backed down, if anyone said that magic four letter word.

"Care to make it more interesting, Joey?" Abby continued, while Jen tried her best to hide her face behind her arm from some older girls, who were by now clearly whispering about them and the unusual form of entertainment, they were supplying to them in all too great doses. "Twenty, nay thirty dollars says that I can and when you present me my winnings, I want you to say "You were right, Abby. Just like you always have been right about everything!"

"You're on! This has to be the easiest thirty bucks, I've ever made!" Joey smirkingly told Abby back and to Jen's complete and utter joy, her two friends managed to spend the rest of the lunch break in total silence.

"Jen, how do you actually score with a guy?" Abby had to ask her best female friend on their way to class, seeing as (in spite of the many, many chick flicks that she'd watched), she really didn't have any kind of a clue how to do it in practice.

"Abby, I know that you and Joey are both total out of your tiny little minds freaks, when it comes anyone telling you that you can't do something, but just take a minute to think about this, please? I mean, do you really want your first kiss to be with someone, you might not even like? Hand on your heart, how many guys here could you see yourself kissing?"

"Not really any. I can't just let her win either!"

"Why not, when it would be the only sane thing to do in this situation?"

"It's complicated", Abby began to explain. "See, Joey and I, we've always had this very delicate power balance, going to back to when we were little kids on the playground. If I wanted to go on the swings, then suddenly she wanted to use them and would snatch them right in front of me with this annoying "Ha, ha, I won!" look on her face. So, say that if she wanted to go on the big slide, then I would try to snatch her turn in front of her and give her my "Ha, ha, I won!" look. Are you beginning to understand now?"

"I understand that both of you desperately need psychotherapy! Why would you do that or for that matter, keep up the hatred for so many years?" Jen had to ask and it made Abby look at her, like she hadn't understood anything.

"I've never hated Joey! Where on earth would you get that from?" Abby asked back and by now, all Jen could say, was that she was extremely confused!

"The way you talk to one another, for one thing?"

"You mean that thing in the cafeteria? That was peanuts compared to some of the really terrible things, we've called and said to one another over the years! I'm talking serious, way below the belt, probably should have both been sent to a shrink afterwards, kind of stuff to hurt the other girl! The thing with me is that as much as I'm loving this whole big "Wholesome Best Friends" thing, you and I have going on, I also need someone like her in her life, to argue with and give me proper verbal sparring back. I've tried it with other girls, but none of them came close to how good, she is at it!"

"I'm starting see to why both of you were friendless wonders, as it attains to other girls, when I came here!"

"I'd like to think that she sees me the same way, as the friend/enemy that she has to admit to herself to needing too and will miss some day, when we've all left school. Don't tell her this, but I know for sure, that I'll miss the heck out of her! The thing is that this whole "Frenemy" thing we have, or whatever you want to call it, it all relies on us keeping the very gentle power balance between us relatively even. Lately, with her having Pacey and so many girls being jealous of her, it's shifted way too far in her favor. If I win this one ..."

"It'll bring balance back to the force again. As crazy as it sounds to my own ears to say so, Lukina Skywalker, I sort of get where your warped mind is coming from!" Jen headshaking said, just before a rather unwelcome face came over to them. That face belonged to Chris Wolfe, a rather unintelligent and equally uninteresting jock, who'd asked her out several times already. However, he was also giving her such enormous creep vibes, that she would rather go on a date with anyone else at their school, all of the girls and teachers, even the janitor, the gardener and the lunch lady included, before she would begin to consider going on a date with him.

"There's a party at my house on Saturday, if you want to come, Jen. There's going to be beer there, booze and best of all, I'll be there to keep your fine self well entertained all evening! I have a king-size bed, you know?" he asked with a flirty smile, that almost made Abby laugh out loud and herself throw up in her mouth a tiny bit.

"Maybe someday, when hell freezes over, Chris. Either that or when we get universal peace, we've ended all hunger in the third world and have destroyed every nuclear weapon in existence, whichever comes first!" Jen told him back, hoping that he would get the message.

"Wait here for a moment, Chris" Abby told him, while dragging Jen a little away.

"Can you believe that boneheaded narcissist? "I have a king-size bed, you know?" I'm almost surprised that he didn't follow up that incredible line with "Want to be the next slut who spends fifteen minutes in it with me?" Jen had to exclaim, and it made it impossible for Abby to hold back her giggles anymore.

"You really think Chris Wolfe is capable of lasting that long?" Abby grinningly asked her.

"You're right. I should have said fifteen seconds!" Jen corrected herself.

"Probably. He did give me an idea on how to win my bet with Joey, though. A party, everyone's been drinking, and inhibitions have started to go away at the same pace, as those drinks went down. Need I say anymore?" Abby pleadingly asked her that last part and while Jen didn't really feel like going to any event, where Chris would be in constant close enough proximity to her, to try to drunkenly flirt with her, there was also another part of her. A part, that was getting sick and tired of spending so much time pining over a guy, who she had to come to terms with by now, had very obviously friend-zoned her and that Jen could definitely use an evening full of distractions, to stop herself from thinking too much about him.

Kegger at Chris Wolfe's house. It would be hard to find five words in the English language, that fit worse with Joey or what she preferred to spend her Saturday evening doing. Nevertheless, that was how she would be spending most of it, tagging along with Jen and Abby (another thing she'd never imagined herself doing).

"Remember that murder is still illegal, even if you think that Abby has bugged you enough for it to feel justified in your own eyes" Pacey told her jokingly, while he was helping her with figuring out what to wear for the party. It had to be an outfit that both said, "I'm not so poor that I have to wear rags every day" and at the same time unsexy enough, that she wouldn't have too many drunk guys hitting on her.

"You know, you could come along and make sure, that it doesn't end in bloodshed?" she leadingly asked him in the hope that his answer had changed from what it had been, all of the other times, she'd tried to get him to come with her.

"As highly amusing to me, as it would be to watch you make a drunken ass of yourself, there's no getting out of this evening's family dinner at the Witter house. Ma has made it clear as day, that no excuses will be deemed acceptable other than my own death or perhaps being held hostage at gunpoint. Although, if you want the truth, I'm not entirely certain that even that would be a good enough excuse for her!" he told her again and it wasn't like she didn't understand that his family had to come first during this time, when his folks were about to go through a divorce in the coming months. From what she'd understood, the evening ahead would be about laying the news on Pacey's sister Gretchen, who was coming home for college for the occasion and as much as Pacey tried to pretend not to be looking forward to it, she also knew him well enough to know how much he'd been missing his much-beloved sister, since she'd left for college that previous fall.

"You think Gretchen will be happy that you've started dating the daughter of an infamous drug smuggler?"

"Yeah, I couldn't imagine her reacting in any other ways. Knowing how much she's always liked you; she'll just be glad for me that I finally made a smart choice in my life" Pacey said with a smile that did little to hide how much he was looking forward to telling his Sis. In many ways too, growing up Gretchen had been like a spare older sister to her and had in addition been the first one to predict what was happening between them now, where it was safe to say that the "Just Friends" stage of their relationship was quickly turning into a mere memory.

"How about this stylish combo?" Joey threw out there while holding up a ski jacket in one hand, with the pants to match with it in the other.

"A spectacular choice, I must say! Especially, if your plan is to pass out from heatstroke within the first half hour of arriving!" he quipped, which in turn made her smile to herself.

"Am I the only one, who'd rather just get this over with?" Doug asked him, while they were waiting at Capeside Train Station for their shared sister to arrive on the 5.46 from Boston.

"As in, all of this divorce BS? No, you aren't!" Pacey told his brother, who was arguably suffering the worst through all of this, seeing as he by having his own apartment, also by default had become the one to house their father, John.

"What do you have to complain about, Pacey? You don't have anything worth getting stressed out over, no bills to pay and you're already dating the girl, you'll surely end up with. There aren't many guys in this town, who wouldn't want to trade places with you".

"You really think Joey and I are a "Live Happily Ever After" couple?"

"I can't say for sure, if you won't screw it up royally some way, considering your history of doing dumb things, that no one else would have ever thought about doing!"

"Thanks, Doug. I always love it when you build up my confidence by reminding me of what a screw-up, I am!" he said sarcastically, which only drew a headshake from his brother.

"All I meant to say was that Joey is clearly over the moon for you and unless, you really do something crazy like sleep around on her, she'll forgive you for it. Lord knows why, since she's always seemed like a rather clever girl to me! Then again, I guess it goes to show that even the worst dog gets his day sometimes! Dad's happy for you too, even if he won't tell you so to your face" his brother told Pacey, who had to bat an eye at Doug's remark.

"I thought, that if anyone ..."

"As gruff and tough as he can appear to be sometimes, he does love you and wants the best for you. While I'm sure that his dream daughter-in-law wasn't someone with a dad in jail for dealing drugs, he also knows that you need someone, who'll be as tough on you as he is and that Joey has never been one to hold herself back, when it comes to scolding you. I still remember the first time we saw it in person, when I think you were around seven or eight and how much he laughed his ass off at the sight of it. You know what he said that day?" Doug asked and only got a headshake as his reply. "He said and I quote: Those two will end up together, you just wait and see".

"And Joey's dad winding up being a jailbird hasn't changed that?"

"I don't think the arrest came as too much of a surprise to him, if you want my opinion. From what he's told me, it sounded to me like Mike Potter was never anything approaching an angel, even before it seriously went downhill for him. He's also told me that if it hadn't been for him first meeting and then marrying Lily, Mike probably would have wound up behind bars much sooner, than he has. Dad tried more than enough of being judged for his father's sins, when he was your age now, to know perhaps better than anyone, how unfair it is to be the one, who constantly gets the sentence handed to them, without having done any of the crimes to deserve it" Doug shared.

It wasn't all that well-kept of a Witter family secret, that their grand-dad on their father's side, whose liver had given up before he turned forty, after years of extreme alcohol abuse and Pacey only had a few faint memories of having met, when he was still just a tiny little kid, had been a black sheep in their family that both liked to get into fights, whenever he got the chance to and had most likely fathered several illegitimate kids in his short lifetime, most of whom he'd cleverly avoided ever paying a dime in child support for. Pacey's dad, whom Pacey could easily guess had only rarely been given any reason not to be ashamed of the man who fathered him, would always try to steer the conversation in another direction, whenever his own old man's name was brought up and from the look of him, whenever it was, it was clear to all of his children that the memories of him were simply too painful to think about.

At parties home in NYC, Jen had rarely held herself back, but at this one in Capeside, her role was more that of a mentor to the two total rookies in the world of partying, she'd brought along with her. Joey was the most of out of place, being the epitome of a fish out of water among the people, who either ignored her or talked down to her, when she met them in school. Abby should have felt more at home, seeing as she actually knew a few people there, but her pathetic attempts at scoring were so bad, that Jen felt embarrassed by proxy, for having been the one that brought her there. The one plus was that Chris had hooked up with some girl from the cheerleading squad and hadn't hit on her at all, a slight reprieve from his advances that she was sure would be continuing on the following Monday, whether she wanted him to or not.

"Is this how beer is supposed to taste?" Joey asked her, while making a face that cut it out in cardboard, how little she was liking the taste of the beverage in the red cup, she was holding.

"Pretty much, from how I remember it" Jen answered, before taking a sip of her own cup that was filled with what she gathered was about the cheapest beer, money could buy you. It was drinkable for sure, and it would get you drunk too, but as for it being an enjoyable taste, even she had to admit that it would be pushing the bounds of reality too far, to call it that.

"It isn't a hit with me, that's for sure!" Joey exclaimed, before yet another unwanted suitor, this time one who was so drunk, that he could barely stand up, came over to try to hit on her.

"Wanna dance, Hot Stuff?" he asked with words so slurred, that they were only barely intelligible.

"I'll pass, seeing as I have a working brain, but I know that she does" Joey told him, while pointing over at Abby, who looked like she was bombing it with yet another guy. It worked as well and moments later, Abby was the one who had to deal with his horned-out self.

"That was mean!" Jen scolded her friend, although it looked more to her like Joey was pleased with herself over what she'd just done.

"What was? All I did was helping her to win that bet, against my own best interest, I might add!" Joey answered in one of the worst attempts at playing innocent, that Jen could remember having seen yet.

"What odds do you give her?"

"Care to make another bet, eh?"

"You already make far too many bets, as it is! At least, you didn't bet your boyfriend having to make out with someone else this time, so that's a step up for you!"

"I'll give you ten to one, that she strikes out with every guy here?"

"I'll still pass" Jen told her friend back, while a strange thought began to crawl into the back of her mind. What if it wasn't a guy, Abby should be looking for at all? With how she'd been talking about the guys at school in the least flattering way you could, Abby's personal hero and savior Pacey very obviously excluded, maybe there was something, her vertically challenged friend was doing a very bad job at hiding.

Abby's plan for evening had been a rather simple one. Find a guy, get him to kiss herself and afterwards, doing a whole lot of gloating to Joey's face, it just wasn't working out that way for her. Either the guy would do or say something to turn her off (like the one who said that he'd do her, as long as she never told anyone about it or the guy, who in the middle of their conversation had stuck his hand down the back of his pants to scratch a place, she didn't want to picture in her mind), and after a few hours of going through this charade, it was becoming clear as daylight to her, that picking up guys was perhaps the one thing, she was worst at, when push came to shove.

It wasn't either that there hadn't been a few hot ones among them, there were just none of them that did it for her, like Pacey could. He understood her and unlike all of the other guys her age that she'd met, he both knew when to be gentle with her (if that was what she needed) and when to give her some of her own medicine back, when it came to them playfully teasing one another. If there had been two of him and one of them were single, sure, she'd be more than willing to make out with him, but when she looked around at the rest of the selection, there wasn't anyone, she could see as being worthy of granting her the first kiss of her life.

While she didn't consider herself to be overly romantic of mind, she still wanted her first kiss to be with someone, that she (as a minimum) liked to hang out with and that by itself, ruled out almost everyone in her hometown. People, who either annoyed her on a daily basis (and made up nine out of ten of them) or were guys that she couldn't see herself in a million years having any kind of romantic relationship with.

If she had to be one hundred percent honest, there was only one person at that party, she would want to kiss and it wasn't a guy. It was that girl from New York, who was the only other one, that understood her like Pacey did.

To say that Joey was enjoying herself at Chris Wolfe's wild kegger was the equivalent to saying, that she'd enjoyed it when she broke her arm falling down from a tree as a kid or that she'd enjoyed it that time, when a small child at the Ice House had thrown up his fries and chicken nuggets all over her clothes. The beer wasn't sitting with her well either and knowing that Bessie would tear her a new one, if she came home visibly drunk, also meant that she didn't want to drink herself into a stupor (like almost everyone else there was) and that left her with little more to do, than observing this as an anthropological experiment of what happens when you introduce the element of alcohol into the bodies of a bunch of teenagers, who for the most part were already seriously hormonally crazed to begin with.

The one thing that at first had kept her amused was watching Abby cluelessly hit on one guy after another, but even that was starting to turn into a sad sight. Truth be told, she was starting to feel sorry for her "Frenemy" more than anything else and in turn, starting to feel pretty terrible inside over knowing that she was the sole reason, why Abby was selling herself like this to boys, Joey could see plain as day that she didn't like or want to make out with. Even if they'd had more than their share of spats over the years and a few among them, Joey preferred it if she could just forget, it wasn't like she wanted anything really bad to happen to her old rival and seeing Abby lose hope more with every guy that turned her down, made the knot inside of Joey's own stomach grow larger with each passing one.

She could of course talk to Abby about giving up the bet and the longer amount of time that passed, the more it seemed like it would be by far the better option for the both of them. If it had been anyone else, then she surely would have.

After the drive back to his house, where Gretchen had delighted in reminding both himself and Doug several times, of how she'd been the first one to predict that him and Joey had almost been destined to become a couple, once they became old enough to, they'd settled into the usual small talk about how Gretchen was doing at college and whatever small things, his sister had missed out on by not being a citizen of her hometown anymore. One subject, that had been carefully glossed over was why their dad wasn't there and Pacey could tell from his mother Mary's demeanor that this wasn't the kind of news, she wanted to lay on a daughter, who already had enough on her plate, as it was. Eventually though, it would have come out and that moment came shortly after dinner, consisting of a stew that while not being a five-star meal, also was one of his mom's better dishes.

"I suppose, you're wondering why your father isn't joining us tonight" his mom had tentatively said, wanting to judge what Gretchen's reaction was first, before she continued.

"Isn't he just working late?" Gretchen had asked back and the silence her question was first met with, must have told her that something was up.

"We're ..." was all his mom got out, before the ringing of the phone made for an unwelcome distraction.

"I'll get it, ma. It's probably just some salesman, that I can tell where to shove his, what is bound to be a "Once in a Lifetime Offer" he quickly said, also grabbing the chance to get away from a dinner table, where tension was becoming so thick, that it would take a freshly sharpened knife to cut through it.

"Witter residence" he spoke cheerily into the phone, slightly hoping that it was Joey, who was calling to beg him to pick her up from Chris Wolfe's house, where she would surely be having a far more miserable time than most of the other partygoers there, if it wasn't all of them.

"Hi, Pacey. It's lieutenant Peterson from down at the station. Is your mom there?" the voice on the other end, who Pacey knew belonged to one of his dad's oldest and best friends, asked him.

"She's unavailable right now, but I can pass a message on to her, if you'd like?"

"I suppose, you're bound to hear sooner or later. It's about your dad. He's piss-ass drunk and making a complete ass of himself down at one of the bars down by the pier called "The Watering Hole". The owner called here to see if we wouldn't try to talk him into leaving the premises, and I told him that we'd try all we could, I just don't think we can. His mind is in a really bad place right now, Pacey, and I don't think any of us here at the station can talk sense into him. If he really makes a giant ass of himself tonight, he could lose his job over it. I'm sure none of you in that house of yours would want that either".

As Pacey hung up the phone moments after, it was with a well of emotions rising up inside of him. The biggest of them being pure, unadulterated fear, for how the rest of this evening and night would turn out and what the consequences of it would be the morning after.

END OF CHAPTER NINE

Chapter Text

Saturday night, dance, I like the way you move
Pretty baby
It's party time and not one minute we can lose
Be my baby

WHIGFIELD (From the album "Whigfield" (1995))

Jen's evening at Chris Wolfe's party wasn't turning out the way, she'd thought it would have. After a few hours of observing Abby's failed attempts at picking up boys and even striking out with the drunkest of them (something she thought was practically impossible, considering the amount of drunk guys, Abby had hit on and that Abby was kind of a cutie, if she was going to be blunt about it), she'd taken things into her own hands to at least insure that her friend wouldn't be coming home with nothing, except for a whole lot of massive disappointment and feeling of rejection, still lingering in the back of her mind. If there was one thing the old Jen had been a master at, it was pretending that she enjoyed herself, even when she wasn't, and at first, that had been her tactic as well. To shower Abby with enough positive thoughts that it would make her feel wanted again, but the more they'd danced and laughed, the more she found herself actually enjoying the party. That she'd managed to get Joey to dance with them, looked like it was starting to make the ice wall between her two friends start to melt a little as well. Just the fact that they were beginning to communicate like a pair of normal girls would, told her that she must have been doing something right, although she had zero clue what she'd done differently from all of the times, she'd tried it before.

"This is going a whole lot better, than I expected it to!" she smilingly told Joey, while the two of them were taking a short break from dancing and Abby was waiting in the long queue to use the bathroom.

"I'm still not entirely sure that I'll ever grow to actually like her" Joey told her back.

"As long as you two can get along well enough, that you aren't at each other's throats all of the time, I'll still call the evening a massive success".

"I kind of get the feeling that she likes you, though".

"I certainly hope so!" Jen answered, without following exactly what Joey meant to tell her. "I can't imagine that we would be friends, if she didn't".

"I don't mean "Likes You as a Friend"! I mean, likes you as in the way, Pacey and I like one another" Joey explained, while looking her in the eyes.

"I'm sure, you're just misreading her signals! After all, you are basically half-boy, and we all know how bad they are at it!" Jen tried to say dismissively, even if she had thought the same to herself, more than a few times during the evening.

"When you think about it, doesn't it sort of make sense? I don't remember ever seeing her flirting with a boy, tonight excluded and we've both seen plain as day, how little interest she has in making out with any of them. I mean, try putting yourself in her shoes for a second".

"Although, she wears shoes that are half a size smaller than I do, sure, I'll play along!"

"Here's Abby, lonely social Pariah with just about worst home-life imaginable and very little to be thrilled over in her life. Then, along comes this girl, who she clicks with, understands her like no one has before and is someone she can see as a spirit, kindred to her own. You can't tell me, it's completely unthinkable that she could like you "that way", all things considered now, can you?"

It wasn't like Jen hadn't known her share of gays back home and from observing them closely, she'd also become pretty decent at predicting when someone was on the brink of coming out of the closet. One thing she hadn't tried on the other hand, was having one of them crushing on herself and as much as she'd grown to love Abby, would she be ready to try it for herself? The more she considered it, the more she started to doubt what the answer to that question would be.

"Don't think of Jen that way! It'll only lead to yet another unlucky crush for you!" were the words that Abby tried repeating in her head, in order to make herself believe that she could turn her crush on her friend off, all the while knowing with herself that it was probably impossible to. Was it an impossibility, however? From the way Jen had saved her from making even more of a fool of herself, than she already had that evening with all of the boys, she'd (to her own inner relief) struck out with, it was clear to her that she now had the kind of friend, she'd always wished that she would find. Jen cared about her infinitely more than anyone else, save for perhaps Pacey and with how in love up to both ears he very obviously was in Joey, he was all too clearly a no-go.

Compared to her parents (the ones who should, in theory at least, love her unconditionally) Jen was the one who almost constantly showered her with love and affection, whenever they were alone together and along with Pacey the only one, she felt like she could turn to in times of trouble. It sure as hell wasn't the ones who had created her and either treated her like she didn't mean Jack to them or like a nuisance, that they couldn't wait to get rid of.

It didn't help either how immensely sexy Jen was looking to her in the short and stylish black dress, she was wearing that evening. Even if Abby hadn't been a little bit drunk to add to it, she still would have found it hard not to stare at Jen's perfectly sized, perky breasts or those lips, that looked ever more kissable to her, with every sip she took from the beer that was slowly beginning to grow on her as well. They'd already made plans for herself to share Jen's bed with her after the party and with every song they danced to, the more she had to admit that she was starting to look forward to the after-party in Jen's room later on.

For the first time since the evening where Pacey had saved her from her own misery, she wasn't thinking about him at all either and the way she saw it, that could only be seen as a positive.

"If even just one of them is gay, then you have to be accepting of it!" was quickly becoming Joey's main thought, as she danced her troubles away with Jen and Abby. While she'd never actually known a homosexual person (aside from someone else telling her, that they were), she'd always pictured that if someone she knew was to come out of the closet, then she would be the first one to welcome them with open arms and tell them, that it wouldn't change anything between them, the way that she felt like a real and proper friend should react to news like that.

Now that she, according to her own theory at least, was coming face to face with it however, she was also to her own disappointment finding out, that practicing what she preached wasn't as easy, as she thought it would have been. She didn't want to think it and honestly, she'd never been given any reason to, but what if Abby had been checking out her naked body, when they showered together after P.E.? Or even worse, what if Abby had been picturing it, in the most private of moments?

While she was well aware that some of the guys (mostly those, who she could tell ate her up with their eyes, when she was in class with them) had probably been guilty of it, it still wasn't the same in her mind, even if it should have been. After all, Abby was a girl her own age, with the same thoughts that she'd had constantly about her own sexual awakening and wanting to find love, so who was she to say that Abby's thoughts were wrong in any way or that she wasn't allowed to fantasize about the two of them, doing things to pleasure one another? Fantasies are just that, fantasies, and she knew as well as anyone that what you think about in the heat of the moment isn't easy to control, no matter how hard you try. If anything, she should be flattered that another fifteen-year-old girl (knowing all too well how ruthless her own gender could be in their appraisals of each other's looks) thought that she was sexy enough, to enter that girl's innermost thoughts in the naughtiest of ways. Still, at the same time that thought made her feel uncomfortable in a way, she didn't want to.

That it was all a moot point until she found out for sure, did little to ease Joey's mind.

By the time Pacey and his siblings made it down to "The Watering Hole", one of the last of the old dive bars that used to practically line the pier in days past, their dad was so drunk that he could barely stand up and from the looks of the guy behind the bar, he was already far overdue for a kicking out of the premises. As it often happened when he was in that stage of drunkenness too, he'd become confrontational and downright unpleasant to deal with. His victim, who he was telling off for everything he didn't like about him, was one of the local drunks named Ralph, that he'd in all likelihood had to throw in the drunk tank a time or twenty over the years. On this evening, it looked more like they were on an even playing field however, and Pacey could see from moment one, that Peterson hadn't been overselling the truth, when he said that it wouldn't be easy to get his dad out of this state of mind.

"What the hell do you know about anything, Ralph?" they heard him shouting like he didn't give a damn what anyone in there thought about him. "I've given my whole lousy ass life for this town and what do I get in return? Jack fucking shit, that's what!"

"Jesus Christ, he's hammered tonight!" Pacey and Doug heard Gretchen whisper to herself, and while Pacey had seen his dad in a sad state before, he also had to admit that this looked like a new low for him.

"This is what I've had to deal with every day, since mom kicked him out. Do you want to give it the first try, or shall I?" Doug asked them.

"We'll do it together. I don't think any of us can do it on our own" Gretchen replied and while none of them wanted to do this, they also knew that they didn't have any other choice. Being born a Witter was both a blessing and a curse, often in equal amounts.

"Hi, dad" Gretchen began with and as their dad turned around, he shot her a drunken smile. Even Ralph looked like he'd had enough of him as well, since he used the opportunity to quietly slip out of there.

"If it isn't my daughter, the hot shot in college! How are you doing, Buttercup?" John got out drunkenly and just hearing their dad call his daughter by his childhood nickname for her, told all of them that he had to be at least a few six-packs deep.

"Not too bad. You?" Gretchen answered and it drew a dry chuckle from her dad.

"Like shit, but what else is new? Did your mom tell you that I've fucked everything up so bad, that she couldn't stand living with my sorry ass anymore? I didn't think she'd have the balls to, but I guess, hers are bigger than I thought they were. Doug, my son! Did they call you here to arrest me for being a royal pain in the ass?" he grinningly joked and from the look on Doug's face, this was just about the last conversation, he wanted to have right then and there.

"Something like that. Dad ..."

"And Pacey! My son, who's dumb as shit and still managed to find himself a decent girl somehow! Do yourself a favor and stay with that one! She's a lot smarter than you are, that's for sure! Then again, knowing you, you'll probably find some way of screwing it up with her".

"That's enough!" Doug interjected, although it didn't look like it did much to help with the situation. "Come with me and I'll take you home, so you can sleep it off and then maybe, you can avoid getting fired in the morning!"

"They can't fire me until the next election for chief of police. Even if I lose, why should I give a damn, anyway? It isn't ike the ungrateful jackasses in this town appreciate what I do for them either way, so why the hell I even bother with them, I don't know!"

It took another hour (that felt like it was five of them) to get John out of there and with all of the insults he'd hurled at anyone, who happened to be within listening distance, Pacey thought to himself that there was no way, his dad could still keep his job after this. He'd seen him hit some depths before, it wasn't that and to be called all kinds of nasty things by him wasn't anything new either, but he'd still never seen him sink this low before.

"I guess, I owe Joey thirty bucks now!" Abby joked about her own failed attempts at scoring at the party. After they'd said their goodbyes to Joey, who had to head in the other direction to get home, they'd decided that a long walk to sober up back to Jen's grandparents' house, wasn't the worst idea in the world. Unfortunately, neither of them was wearing shoes fitting for a long walk and for that reason, they were taking a small break halfway.

"It isn't like she had put a time limit on it. You had fun tonight, didn't you?" Jen asked and judging from the ear-to-ear smile on Abby's face, she clearly had.

"Yeah, I did. Thanks to you and crazily enough, Joey too! Whoever would have seen that one coming?" Abby asked her rhetorically and from what Jen could tell, this wasn't anything she'd minded at all either. After a few seconds of gathering her courage, Jen just had to ask her the question that had been on her mind all evening.

"If I ask you something, will you promise not to get angry with me?"

"Why would I get angry with you? You know that you can always ask me anything".

"It's just that when I looked at you hit on those guys, it didn't look like you were all that into the idea of getting with any of them" she began leadingly, hoping that Abby would pick up on where she was going with the question, without actually having to ask it.

"Was it that obvious?"

"Kind of. I guess, what I'm asking is if you're into the idea of making out with guys at all?" she asked cautiously and from Abby's giggle at the question, it at least didn't look like it was something, she minded talking about.

"I probably would with Pacey, if he wanted to with me. Seeing as I'm not named Joey Potter and I don't want my first kiss to be with someone, who's using me to cheat on his girlfriend, I won't hold on my breath on it happening, though. Apart from him or perhaps ... no, just forget I said anything!"

"So, there is someone else, you would kiss? Who?" she asked and from the look she got back, it wasn't like it needed to be said out loud.

Perhaps, it was the loneliness she'd been feeling or the frustrations over once again falling for a guy, who didn't like her back the same way, that led her to act on a fleeting impulse. Maybe, it was something deep inside that she hadn't allowed herself to be entirely open about. Whatever the case, when their lips met moments later, she had to admit that it was the biggest rush, she'd ever felt from a kiss before.

Abby hadn't expected to get her first kiss that evening and even if she were to, she'd never expected it to be as magical as it turned out to be. In those moments, it felt to her like any and all of her problems had disappeared in an instant, along with the fear, that something like this wouldn't ever happen for her. Kissing Pacey would have been nice for sure, but at the same time, she couldn't imagine that it would have come close to how she felt now.

"Was it everything, you hoped it would be?" Jen gaspingly asked her, when they finally had to break what had become a very long and wet kiss and come up for air.

"All that and so much more! Jen, you have no idea how much I've wanted to do that!"

While it felt like the weight of the world had been lifted off her small and narrow shoulders, Jen only smiling back at her and not saying anything, also raised some lingering questions. Because what if it was only her, who felt this way and Jen had only kissed her, out of feeling pity for her poor self?

Joey had planned on trying to sneak into her room without being noticed, but thanks to her baby nephew keeping Bodie up, that plan rapidly went out of the window.

"Did you have anything to drink tonight?" he asked her, while Alexander worked hard on emptying the baby bottle, he was feeding his son with. From her own uneasy legs, it must have been easy to see, even if she hadn't been too drunk to be able to walk home from Chris Wolfe's house, a few miles away.

"Please, don't tell Bessie. I had a couple of cups of beer" she felt like she might as well confess to him, since she already knew that he wouldn't dream of doing anything to cause a disruption between her and her sister.

"Did you like the taste?" he asked with a wide grin.

"No! It tasted horrible!" she answered honestly and the hearty laugh, he let out, told her that she wasn't alone in her first appraisal of it.

"It either grows on you in time, or it doesn't. Did you at least have fun?"

"I didn't think, I would. But yeah, I kind of ended up having a blast".

"That's nice. I'd been planning on catching up on my sleep, but this little guy had other plans".

"What else is new? Bodie, did you know any gays growing up?"

"Back then, it wasn't something you spoke too loudly about, I'm sad to say. I'd like to think that we've moved beyond that, but sometimes I wonder to myself, if we actually have. Are you asking because you think one of your friends might be?"

"It's a girl, I've known for a long time. It could just be in my imagination, though".

"If she is, then she'll need her friends, when people find out. There's a lot of good things to be said for Capeside, but open-mindedness is perhaps the one thing, they're most in short supply of around here".

Minutes later, as she laid in bed and tried to fall asleep, she also made a decision with herself. If Abby or Jen or both of them were into girls "that way", then she would be there for them, as much as she could within reason. With all of the hatred and bigotry, she knew that they would be sure to face, it almost felt like the least, she could do.

The day after the drunken horror show of the night before, Pacey left the house early to clear his head of any residual anger, he had left in his mind. His dad could be a mean old SOB, when it hit him and no one knew this better than his direct family (who were often the targets of it), but it didn't mean that it hadn't hurt deeply inside to be told directly in every thinkable way, how much his own father looked down on him. Doug and Gretchen had gotten their small share of it too, but not in anywhere the same vein as he had and it made him wonder to himself, if his dad really saw him that way or was just saying it to get a rise out of him. It hadn't been easy to keep his mouth shut throughout it all, and if his siblings hadn't been there as his support, he wasn't sure that he could have.

It was with those thoughts in his head, that he rode his bike down to his favorite fishing spot, where he could hopefully forget about it for a while and just concentrate on his fishing rod and the gorgeous scenery surrounding him. Those hopes went out of the window, when he saw his dad's police cruiser pull up close to where he was sitting. As his dad got out and walked towards him, he immediately began preparing himself mentally for another telling off.

"Are the fish biting this morning?" his dad asked him.

"Only the ones that are too small to be worth keeping. How's your head?"

"My entire body is giving me the punishment that I deserve, for how I behaved last night" his dad dryly answered, before taking a seat on the ground next to him.

"Did something happen to make you lose it like that? I've seen you acting like a jackass before, but that was on a different level, even for you".

"First of all, I hope you know that I didn't mean any of that stuff, I said to you. You're a good kid, Pacey and you care enough about your fellow man to go out of your way to help people, when they need it. There's a hell of a lot to be said for that and if I don't give you enough credit for it, then I'm sorry. It isn't everyone, who would, and we could sure use more of your kind in this world" his dad said with a warm smile, that made most of the anger he'd been feeling, melt away quickly.

"Thanks, dad, but you didn't answer my question".

"It wasn't anything, I haven't seen before. Have I ever told you, why I decided to become a cop in the first place?" John asked and Pacey shook his head.

"When I grew up here, it was a different time. Pretty much everyone would beat their kids for the smallest of things, like it didn't mean anything. Your grandmother slapped me upside the head a few times too but compared to most of the rest of the kids, I went to school with, I got off easy. Every day, I saw the fear in their eyes, Pacey. Real, pure and unadulterated fear, the likes of which I pray to God, that you, Doug, Gretchen, or the kids you'll have someday will never have to feel, for as long as you'll live. The family living next door to us ... I could hear the screams of pain from those kids over there every day, when their parents would beat the crap out of them and the worst part was that nearly all of the adults here just saw it as something normal and something, they had no business trying to stop. That was just the way people thought back then, but it doesn't make it right either. In my innocent and probably too naïve young mind, I made up my mind that I wanted to be the one, who did change things and could put people like those piece of filth parents of theirs in front of judge and make them pay for what they'd done. Like it should be. You have to believe me, the last thing I've ever wanted was to turn into someone like them" his dad told him as truthfully, as he'd ever been told anything by him before.

"You could be worse!" he told his dad back bluntly and it got a small chuckle out of both of them.

"I'm glad that you think so! Anyway, yesterday we were called out to a domestic disturbance. A house, we've been to too many times before and every time, it's the same story. She'll call us to get him to stop beating her and her two little kids, but when we get out there, she'll be too afraid to tell us, what's really happened. It shouldn't have gotten to me like it did, it just made it all feel like I've been kidding myself for all of these years in thinking, that I make any kind of difference in this cursed place. Worse yet, somewhere along the way, I lost sight of who I wanted to be and turned into this ... whatever it is, that I've become! Your mom was in the right to kick me out, so don't hold anything against her".

"I won't".

"That's good, Pacey. You should have seen her, when we first started dating. She was so full of life and hope, that she even managed to pass some of it onto a miserable bastard like me. I was the one, who took it away from her and there isn't a day that goes by now, where I don't curse myself over it. Whatever you do with your relationship with Joey, don't do to her what I did to your mom. Take it from me, it's hard to find a worse feeling in the whole big scope of human emotions".

"I'll try not to".

"Do you love her?"

"Yeah, I do, dad. Sometimes, I wonder what she sees in a screw-up like me, though".

"You only become one, when you start thinking like one. Your granddad, he was a screw-up of the worst kind! Compared to that selfish bastard, that didn't give a damn, who got hurt as long as he got what he wanted, you're an angel. That's what Joey sees in you too. She's always been a clever one, that girl, and not only when it comes to what you can learn from a book".

For the next half an hour or so, until his dad had to get back to work, they mostly sat in silence and watched the water. None of the fish felt like biting, but it didn't matter to Pacey in the slightest.

END OF CHAPTER TEN

Chapter Text

"And these children that you spit on

As they try to change their worlds

Are immune to your consultations

They're quite aware of what they're going through

Ch-ch-ch-ch-changes (turn and face the strange)

Ch-ch-changes, don't tell them to grow up and out of it"

DAVID BOWIE (From the album "Hunky Dory" (1972))

Jen had spent her entire Sunday after Chris Wolfe's party being deeply confused over what had happened with Abby the night before. She'd wanted to be there for her and their kiss had at first felt amazing, she just didn't know if she was ready for, or even wanted it to, ever become more than that one special moment of passion between them. A kiss is one thing but entering into an actual lesbian relationship (and with a rather fragile girl like Abby, no less), still felt like it was too huge of a step to her. Abby wanted to, that part she was sure of from how unusually ecstatic she'd been afterwards, and it went without saying that she would be there for her friend anytime that Abby needed her to.

At the same time, she also knew from first-hand experience how much worse it is to feel like someone is stringing you along out of pity, and the last thing she wanted to do was potentially mess up their friendship. In the worst-case scenario, it could leave Abby in an even worse situation than she'd been in before that day on the pier, when they became friends and if she was to know that she was the direct cause of it, it sounded like enough in her own ears, to send her on a one-way ride back to the darkest days of her last time in NYC.

She liked boys, that much she knew for sure and the more she thought about it, the surer she'd become over the course of the day, that she must have had a bisexual side to herself as well. Otherwise, she wouldn't have enjoyed the kiss at all and the rush she'd felt couldn't be denied either. Then again, as much as she wanted them to, her feelings for Pacey hadn't gone away and while her old self would have made a more or less pathetic attempt at pretending that they had, thinking like that was also how she'd gotten herself into one mess after another in the past. Worse yet, it had always led to her doing something self-destructive in the end. That part was of her life was one, she never felt like revisiting.

Whatever was to happen on Monday in school, there were certain to be some tough conversations lying ahead either way.

Abby had hated sappy love songs, ever since she switched from kid's songs to pop songs as her favorite choice of music at around eight or nine years old. To her, they were songs written by people, who either were kidding themselves into thinking that true love exists or were selling a lie to those, who were dumb enough to believe in the sugar-coated lies, they were being spoon-fed. Ever since her first kiss with Jen, they'd been playing one after another on repeat in her brain.

Their kiss hadn't only been the biggest experience of her life, it had more importantly been the most life-changing of it as well and had made a lot of things in her past make more sense too. Like why she hadn't become nearly as boy crazy as the other girls had or why, when they only saw the best in the boys that they had crushes on, she nearly always only saw their imperfections. More importantly she was becoming okay with why, during those personality defining first puberty years, she would have to fight every inner instinct not to stare at the other girls' developing bodies in the shower after P.E. The day after Chris' party, she'd felt a relief the likes of which she couldn't remember having felt before and all of this because she'd finally come to terms with being bi-sexual. Even her mom had mentioned how much more at ease with herself that she looked and for the first time in ages, they'd had a pleasant conversation with one another without it ending in shouting and name-calling.

Just thinking back on lying in Jen's bed with her and being pressed up against her soft body and smooth skin, would be enough to get her so aroused that she'd already beat her old PB in the number of times, she'd played with herself during a day, before they'd reached the middle of the afternoon. Now that she didn't feel like, she needed to feel ashamed over her desire for other girls, she would allow her imagination to run wild and the more she thought about it, the more she felt ready to take it a step further with Jen. She wanted to do everything with her, not only sexually, but in the emotional sense as well. The thought alone that she had someone, who liked her back now made the day feel like it flew by in an instant, while she had to wait for Monday morning.

"Stop thinking about sex all the time! Stop thinking about it!" were Joey's thoughts, while she ate breakfast with Bodie and Alexander and waited for her sister to be done in the shower. Ever since "That Evening" in the storeroom of the video store, there hadn't been many moments of the day, where it hadn't been the one and only thing on her mind. It was starting to affect her schoolwork a little as well, although not so much that she needed to hide it from her sister, or the main ruler of her life, as it was. Bodie was too in a way, but probably thanks to them not being related by blood, he was more the "Live and Let Live" type regarding her life choices than Bessie, who'd in many ways taken over the role of being her mother, after they tragically lost their own a few years earlier.

As much as she tried though, it was the same thoughts that kept filling her head like an unstoppable piece of erotic cinema, running through her extremely hormone driven 15-year-old mind. "Pacey softly kissing her up the neck. Pacey licking her nipples. Pacey using his hand to rub her sweetest of spots, while she groans in animalistic sexual desire and her doing the same to him, until his manly love juices come exploding out of his cock and all over her buck naked and shivering from orgasm body. Stop it, Joey, now! You're eating breakfast with a baby and you're more than a little moist already, this isn't appropriate behavior! Oh well, after how wild you got before bedtime last night, you really needed to change your underwear, before you headed to school, anyway. Pacey sticking his tongue up her holiest of holies, while she sucked on that rock-hard schlong of his like it was her all-time favorite kind of lollipop. Pacey sticking that throbbing member up, where nothing except for tampons and her own fingers (plus, on many occasions a thin candle that she kept close "in case of emergencies" in her bedside drawer) had ever gone before. You've become a totally sex obsessed wench now, haven't you? There's no way, this can be good! Pacey's penis, when it's hard. Pacey's far too sexy body for them to be able to expect, that she wouldn't want to rip all of his clothes off with her teeth and ..."

"Joey, did Bessie mention that a letter came for you yesterday?" Bodie asked, giving her a welcome distraction from the perverted thoughts, that kept her from being able to fall asleep night after night.

"I don't think so" she told him, to the best of her recollection.

"It's on the coffee table. Looks very official" he answered and now, her interest was piqued.

When she opened it and saw what it was about though, she barely knew how to react to what it said.

"Does it say anything interesting?" Bodie asked her, while giving his son a chance to digest before feeding him more from his baby bottle.

"You could say that. Remember when I applied to be in that free student exchange program? It looks like I've been accepted" she said and for once, it wasn't thought of having sex with her boyfriend that filled her mind. It was far more the fear of losing him, if she was to go to France.

"If you're absolutely sure, this is something you want to do, then of course, I'll help you" Jen told Joey, after her friend had announced to her that she would be entering the "Miss Windjammer Beauty Contest" in a few weeks' time. "Maybe that way, I can finally get something positive out of all of those untold hours, I spent hating being dragged to one of them after the other by my mom, when I was a kid".

"I wouldn't have even thought about it, if it wasn't for the prize money. Do you really think, I can win?" Joey answered her with a look on her pretty face, that said all too clearly how little faith she had in herself.

"Sure, you can! Joey, the only one who stands in the way of it is yourself, and if this helps you to finally get away from this ridiculous idea in your head, that you aren't perfect just the way you are, then that alone will be worth it. If anyone at this school is an expert on having low self-esteem it's me, but you badly need a big shot of pure self-confidence, right where it counts. Even if I'll never be a fan of those things, thanks to my mom ruining them for me for all eternity, I honestly think that winning this competition could help you" she assured her and got a huge smile back as her reward.

"Thanks, Jen. I almost forgot to ask you, but I assume that you and Abby got home to your grandparents' house safely, after what has to be the wildest party that Chris Wolfe's house had ever seen?" Joey inquired and from her own reaction to such a normal question, it must have been clear that something happened.

"Yeah, we did. You also owe Abby thirty dollars now" she said quietly enough that no one else in the hallway at school they were talking in, would be able to hear it. The shock on Joey's face would have surely given it away, however.

"Did you meet some guys on the way home or something?"

"No, we didn't meet anyone of the human variety".

"But then, it could only be because ... oh!" Joey said, getting the message without it needing to be said.

"Oh, would be the correct term for how I feel right now, yes!"

"So, are you ...?" Joey continued leadingly, not wanting to say the dreaded "G-Word" where anyone could overhear it.

"I know that I'm not entirely one all the way. Let's just say that I have a lot of stuff to figure out now, that I hadn't thought about before" was the best answer, she could come up with.

"And what about Abby?"

"She is one all the way, I'm pretty sure".

"It does explain a few things about her, I guess! Sorry, I didn't mean to interrupt".

"I liked how it felt, it isn't like that, I just don't know if I'm ready for it to become more than that. Plus, there's the whole issue of how it will affect our friendship and the last thing I want is to do anything to ruin, what we already have. Back home, I never had any friends, who were girls, like I have in you and her and now that I do, I'm just not sure that I'm ready to risk losing it again. Do you get what I mean?"

"I suppose so. Did something more happen?" Joey whispered to her.

"No, we just went to sleep right after we got back home. The day after, she snuck out before Grams came home from church and we only had a few minutes to say good morning to one another. Although, she wanted to do much more" she whispered back, after making sure that no prying ears were listening in.

"You're not ... when it comes to me, are you?"

"I assure you that I'm not! You're probably the nicest girl I've ever met, now that I'm getting to really know you, but it's the absolute furthest thing from my mind!"

"Aww, thanks for saying that!" Joey smiled, before becoming a little self-conscious. "Not that I have anything at all against ... those people. Please, don't think that I do!"

"I'm sure that if they knew about it, they would all be appreciating your undying support, Joey!" she quipped, not noticing who was right behind her.

"Which people?" Abby asked them, as she hurried up from behind to join the conversation.

"Church goers, like Jen's grandma" Joey quickly lied, to Jen's utter relief.

"If you did have anything against them, then you'd be living in the entirely wrong place!" Abby bluntly stated. "You know, Joey, I think we should try hanging out for once, just the two of us. Now that we have so many friends in common, it doesn't make any sense for us not to at least try to become friends too".

"Really? I'm ecstatic to hear it, don't get me wrong, it's just ... are you sure you can be alone together, without it ending in you turning into the human version of fighting fish again?" Jen had to ask.

"I think, we can. We aren't little kids anymore, so it's time we stopped acting like it. Don't you agree, Joey?" Abby asked with a look, that said that she was ready to bury the hatchet once and for all on their year-long rivalry.

"I guess so. Maybe, we should have Pacey there as a buffer though, just this first time" Joey shyly answered.

"Since when have we needed boys for anything? I'd really like to show you that I'm not as bad, as you've been walking around thinking that I am and as much as I like Pacey, I just don't think we'd be as open with one another with him there, as we would be if it was just the two of us. Anyway, aren't you closed at the Ice House on Mondays out of the tourist season?"

"Yeah, we are, but ..." Joey started, without getting to finish her sentence.

"Then, it's settled! You and me after school, hanging out and hopefully having fun! I kind of like the sound of that! Don't you too, Jen?"

"Absolutely! Knock yourselves out!" was all Jen could reply and it only made her even more nervous to address what had happened with Abby, than she was before.

As still ecstatic as Abby had been when she turned up for school, another brand-new experience for her, it soon began to fade once the classes began and she remembered again why she thought going to school had to be the most boring thing, anyone could ever do (after literally watching the grass grow, though even that she would consider highly debatable).

What was almost worse was that Jen seemed to be trying to avoid talking about their kiss. Of course, she knew that she couldn't just bring it up in front of everyone or it would instantly start a wildfire of wild rumors about them spreading throughout the school in record time, but she'd at least hoped that they could talk about their feelings in regard to it, now that they'd both had a day to digest what had gone down that evening. All of the time, it felt like Jen was trying to pass her off to Pacey or had made sure that they were never alone. It had even led to her eating lunch with Dawson and Mary-Beth (who were already doing an amazing job at campaigning for "By Far the Most Boring Couple in School", as she saw it), an experience that was almost as boring as sitting through any of her regular classes was to her. It had become so mind-numbingly tedious, when Mary-Beth described her latest date with him, that for one fleeting second, although she would never admit it to anyone, she'd actually wished that she was in class!

If that wasn't enough, Jen had clearly faked an injury in P.E. and gone to the showers early, so she hadn't even gotten to see Jen's perfectly curvy and incredibly sexy body naked again, like she'd been secretly fantasizing about regularly ever since the first time they had P.E. together. She herself tried to fake an injury as well, in the faint hope that some steamy shower groping would result from it, but with how many times she'd done it over the years to get out of playing some dumb sport that she couldn't give two hoots about, she already knew that she would most likely have to actually break a bone and have it sticking visibly out from her skin, for the gym teacher to believe that she wasn't faking it again. Sure, there were some really nice bodies among the other girls she'd showered with too, they just weren't Jen and for that reason they could never be as sexy to her, as Jen was. A few of the girls from the cheerleader squad did have smoking hot bodies too though, that much she had to admit and in her own point of view, there was nothing wrong with calling a spade, a spade!

Before she knew it, the school day had practically flown by without them talking in private and it started to make her regret, that she'd already made plans to be alone with Joey that afternoon. If making real friends with Joey was a way to Jen's heart however, then she saw it as a sacrifice, that was more than worth making.

Pacey. Sex. France. Those were the three words that had kept repeating in Joey's head over and over, since she'd left the house earlier that day. On one hand, you had Pacey and what they'd built in such a short time together and on the other, an offer that she could regret for the rest of her life not taking. Her mom had studied in France for a year, long before she was born, and the way she had talked it about it, trying it for herself had been a dream ever since she'd first been told the many stories, her mother had told her from that time of her life.

It fascinated her immensely too to know that only days before Bessie was conceived, her father had been given a job opportunity as a chef over there, to where her parents had seriously considered moving to the Southern French city of Marseille. Thanks to her mom becoming pregnant, they decided to stay close to their support system, but it still fascinated her how close she'd come to having grown up as a French girl, instead of an American one. Her having a family with many relatives from Quebec and a mother, who had grown up speaking French almost as much as she did English (and not to mention was happy to start teaching her from a young age), had also meant that she was already speaking the language on a near-fluent level, by the time she started having it as a subject in school.

There was a great deal of uncertainty in her as well, that she wouldn't end up not feeling at home there and would get homesick practically instantly. She'd only been away from her family for more than a few days one time, at a Summer Camp when she was nine. Dawson had been supposed to go with her, but he'd become sick with Smallpox a few days before they were to leave for it, and unfortunately wound up spending those weeks alone in his room instead while being pink and itchy, practically from head to toe. Since her parents had already paid for her stay and told her that it would be good for her to try something new, she'd gone alone and for the most part had a miserable time. The food was mostly bad, and she'd lost over four pounds in those two weeks, because she didn't feel like eating any of it. The weather was either way too hot for her liking all of the time, if it wasn't raining down in thick streams and worst of all, she hadn't been able to find any new friends at all and been extremely lonely most of the time. On the morning of the fourteenth day, she'd asked one of the adults there to call her parents to pick her up, and the hour or so that she waited by herself for them to get up there to drive her home again, was the only good thing she remembered from the whole experience. Afterwards, she'd practically stayed entirely in their house for weeks afterwards and the only times she had left their small property for the rest of that Summer, it had been to visit Dawson, after he'd begun to get better again and there wasn't any risk of him infecting her. It was Pacey, who did that unknowingly to her a few weeks later, thanks to having caught it from Dawson.

She was much older and wiser now, for sure, but it wasn't like she could say that she'd become better at making friends over the years, almost the opposite, in fact. She didn't talk to many of the girls she went to school with in the early grades, but she did at least regularly talk to a few of them and even had somewhat of a friend in Melissa Berry, but for a long time after Melissa had turned on her after her father's arrest and spread a bunch of false rumors about her, she'd lost faith in her own gender almost completely, as far as being friends with any of them. That Jen had managed break down that wall just with her sweetness and kindness, was almost a miracle considering that they also had Dawson coming between them back then. Now, it was all but impossible for her to imagine a life without her number one girlfriend in it and the sad truth was that if it hadn't been for Jen coming into her life, her total amount of friends in Capeside (that weren't an immediate part of her own or Dawson's family), would have stood at a very lonely sounding total of two. She could all too easily see herself hating it there and perhaps the French girls and boys wouldn't be accepting of her, thanks to her nationality. Tales of how incredibly snobby the French can be are legendary, and she was smart enough to know that where there's smoke, there's usually a fire too. There was bound to be some of them, who either looked down on Americans for whatever reason or just plain didn't like them and she didn't feel like being an American was something, she needed to defend in front of anyone, just to gain their acceptance.

The more thought she'd put into it throughout the day, the greater the list in the "Don't Go Column" grew to, while she "Go Column" had been stuck in the same few reasons, that she could first come up with, when she began thinking about it. Pacey, her family and her other friends were the biggest ones in the first column, there was little doubt there in her mind. The biggest in the other was one of the first things she'd thought, after she'd practically immediately begun to come up with excuses not to go, from the first words she'd read of that letter. "Why are you being such a chicken over this? Go for it, it's a chance of a lifetime! A chance to find out who you are, away from everything that you know, just like you've dreamt of since your mom gave you your first French lesson! Do it, you complete and utter moron for even considering not to do this! It's your dream, so do it!"

It had filled her head so much, that it slipped her mind that she'd made plans to spend time with Abby that day, until Pacey had told her how excited Abby had told him, that she was over it. Truth be told, it still wasn't too appealing of a thought for her. Then again, now that her boyfriend and Jen were so close with her, it would logically make perfect sense for herself to at least give it the old fighting try and see, if they couldn't find some sort of common ground, they could both agree on. If nothing else, most of the girls they went to school with saw them as a pair of losers, so they'd always have that in common.

END OF CHAPTER ELEVEN

Chapter Text

"The colour of your skin don't matter to me

As long as we can live in harmony

Why can't we be friends?

Why can't we be friends?

Why can't we be friends?

Why can't we be friends?"

WAR (From the album "Why Can´t We be Friends?" (1975))

The time since Jen came to Capeside to live, had been a time of many firsts. Living with a senior citizen, trying to be a good student, trying to not make a mess of her life on a daily basis, just to name a few. That she would ever wish that she'd been given more homework, however, was a new experience that she'd never been able to foresee coming! Having homework meant that she had something to do in the sometimes long feeling afternoons, after school had ended and before her friends got off from their after-school jobs, so she could hang out with them in the evening. Usually, if she didn't have plenty of homework to do, she'd have Abby to hang out with and that would help to fill the time, but with her and Joey hanging out on this day, it was time for a plan C to be formed.

If there was one thing, she could say that she'd always been horrible at, it was being alone. She gathered that it had something to do with all of the hours she'd been left alone at home growing up, while her parents were out improving their social standing (instead of doing any actual parenting or trying to do what they could, to repair their rapidly deteriorating relationship with their daughter). When she was little, they'd provide a babysitter for her, but from age seven to twelve she'd spent most of her evenings in their giant Manhattan condominium alone, with orders to stay there and not go anywhere. It shouldn't have been any wonder to them then, that the girl they'd made to feel unloved throughout her most formative years, would go out in a desperate search for it elsewhere. To make it worse, her parents seemingly exonerating themselves from her enormous fall from grace during her early teen years, only made her feel even more removed from them mentally than she was physically, with the two warring sides now living in two separate states.

Grams and herself had slowly started to become better at communicating and sometimes Jen would get a feeling that they were starting to connect, but then Grams would start quoting bible verses at her and she'd feel like they were right back, where they'd started four months earlier. She loved the elderly lady for how kind and patient she was being with herself and was grateful beyond belief that she'd been saved from having to go to some nightmarish boarding school somewhere by her. As far as her being the perfect confidant though, there was still a generational gap there that it would be hard to entirely traverse, even in time. On occasion, she'd have a chat with Dawson's dad, when they ran into one another and would often be left feeling a little jealous, that her dad (the complete opposite of Mitch Leery) couldn't have been more like him. Hell, if she'd grown up a dad like Mitch and a mom like Dawson's mom Gail, she'd probably be the most well-adjusted girl the entire world now! Certainly, not some huge mess, that's just made out with a girl, who was now probably in love with her, and she didn't want to be more than friends with, not to mention falling in unlucky love more with every day, with her best friend's boyfriend!

Speaking of said boyfriend, she saw an opportunity to make her afternoon and evening a little less on the lonely side, when she happened to see him coming out of Dawson's house, just as she was returning home.

"Shouldn't you be working?" she asked him, as they approached each other.

"With all of the hours I've had to spend working alone in that store, now that Dawson is too busy sucking face with Mary-Beth to come to work? Ah, ah, not today, Miss Lindley! Today, I'm taking the day off while he gets to train the latest employee at "Screen Time", the owner's snot-nosed fourteen-year-old son, whom I've met once and instantly didn't like. So, good luck with that, Dawson!" he quipped, and she couldn't hold back her nervous giggle anymore. Dear Patti Smith, he was slowly turning her into Capeside's version of Marcia Brady!

"Serves him right, I guess".

"As long as he's off your hands now, you're so over the moon ecstatic, that it's putting Julia Roberts at the end of "Pretty Woman" to shame. Am I correct?" he asked her, while staring into her eyes with those eyes of his, that it was like she got completely lost in, every time they made eye contact.

"I'm pleading the fifth on that question and just saying that I'm happy for both of them. If anyone is living proof of how hard it can be to find love, you're looking at her" she stated sadly and it made him look sympathetic with her, like she'd hoped it would.

"Jen, if I can somehow manage to find someone here, then you can too".

"Like who? All of the time I've been here, I've been asked out by three guys. There's Dawson, who instantly smothered me and got possessive. Cliff, who was nice enough, but could only talk about himself and I had zero in common with. Oh, and finally there's Chris, who I've turned down numerous times already and still somehow seems to be too thick-headed to get the message!"

"Yeah, I totally get why you don't want to date him!" Pacey agreed with her, while shaking his head. "I've never personally had any kind of major problems with the guy, but he looks at girls like they're his playthings. Whenever he does sleep with one of them, he'll usually be found soon after loudly bragging about it the hallways to all of his buddies, while everyone can hear. I don't even know most of those girls that he talks about and even I can't help feeling a little sorry for them".

"That's because he's a walking piece of human excrement and you're a through and through decent guy, Pacey! You make life for those around you better every day, just by being a part of their lives. To see you then get put down by your teachers for not being the best, when it comes to book learning, or hearing the way your dad and brother talk to you sometimes, just isn't fair on you! I'm sorry, but it's true!" she said truthfully and could see the pride starting to build up in him with every word.

"To be fair on them, I do kind of deserve it sometimes!"

"No, you don't! Just like Joey and I don't deserve to be treated like we're Hester Prynne in "The Scarlet Letter" by most of the girls at school, either because she lives with an unwed mix-race couple and has a dad in jail or in my case, because I didn't grow up here and for that reason alone, apparently deserve to be shunned by them!" she scowled, while he kept smiling to himself.

"You desperately needed to get that out of your system, didn't you?" he inquired, and it brought a small smile back to her own face as well.

"Kind of, yeah" she had to admit.

"Listen, since all of our other friends have commitments that don't include either of us for the rest of the day, why don't you come with me, and we'll hang out? I can be the filter that you channel all of your frustrations through, while you don't notice me letting most of it go in one ear and out the other. Trust me, after sitting through hours of listening to Dawson talk boring movie trivia, I've become a genuine master at it!" he offered and now, she couldn't help herself from laughing out loud. "Come on, Lindley. It's the best offer, you'll get all day and perhaps tomorrow counted in as well. Of course, I can't speak for the day after that just yet, but ..."

"Put a lid on it, Pacey! So, what are we doing on this our "Jen and Pacey Monday Funday" together?"

"You'll see. Can we call it something else, though? Because, calling it that reminds me of that episode of friends you're clearly referencing, and I don't need to be reminded of Janice's voice now, or forever more for all eternity and beyond, if I have to be perfectly precise".

"Note taken" she answered him and suddenly, this day had gone from "utterly dreadworthy and can't wait to get it over with", when she woke up, to "perhaps not so dreadworthy after all, but still not a day you want to remember" by the time school ended, to now "Looking like it could potentially become a pretty great day after all"!

If Abby had been a little worried that herself and Joey wouldn't have anything to talk about during their day together, then she would have been absolutely correct! After they'd gotten past talking about school, which they had extremely varying opinions on, their friends, another subject they couldn't agree on, and current events, which she had to admit at being terrible at keeping up with, they'd completely run out of things to talk about. The next subject they'd talked about was the weather and in Abby's opinion, when you've sunk that low, it's time to call time on the patient and try to move on. Why she'd then thought of inviting Joey over for dinner at her house, stood as a mystery a moment after she'd said it and Joey saying yes, even if it didn't really look like she wanted to, now meant that she'd brought a real problem on herself once again. One thing was that their house looked like a mess for the most part, she also didn't want Joey to start pitying her when she saw the empty bottles, that it would be almost impossible to hide from her former rival.

They caught a ride from downtown Capeside out to Abby's house on the outskirts (a grand total of two and a half miles) with Joey's brother-in-law Bodie, who seemed like a really nice guy to her and someone, it wouldn't be entirely bad to have as your replacement dad, while your own was in lock-up. She'd only ever had something resembling a conversation with Joey's dad once, when they were age nine and their "Feud" had gotten out of control and led to a fist fight between them in the school cafeteria. Afterwards, their parents had held a meeting, where they'd both had to sit silent and listen, while their parents discussed what to do about it, like they weren't there and she remembered herself and Joey sharing a short glance of understanding, that this wasn't something that either of them wanted to try again. All she could remember was that she didn't like him, but Joey's mom had seemed more reasonable to her and thanks to reason prevailing, they'd shaken hands and agreed to try to stay away from one another from then on. That felt like ages ago now, where Joey had no parents to live with and she had a dad, she didn't even know where lived anymore and a mom, who was many times more liable to embarrass her, than she was of impressing any prospective friends.

Her mom wasn't home, when they got there, which could both have been a not too bad or very bad sign. She knew that her mom was filling in on the night shift at the hospital this week (to make a little extra to spend on more wine, booze or the cigarettes, she'd recently taken up smoking again, many years after she'd quit the first time) and as she'd come to find out, this was an advantage to herself as well. On those weeks, her mom didn't drink during the weekdays, with the exception of "Her glass of morning wine, just to fall asleep on" that her mom would be drinking, when she went to school. Even if she did have more, like Abby highly suspected that she did, she'd be sober when Abby got home and would stay at home and that way for the rest of the day, until she would eventually leave for work late in the evening. They had the agreement that Abby did the shopping for those days, but they had plenty in the fridge to choose from, so unless they were missing some key ingredient for her mom's dinner plans (an unlikely, yet not impossible option), there was no saying where she could be. Abby just hoped, that wherever it was, it wasn't at a bar somewhere.

"Sorry about the mess. It's the maid's week off" Abby immediately joked in an excusing tone, after they came into the wreck of a house, where she lived with her mom.

In the house Joey lived in, they had the Empress and ruler, not to mention hater of all messes, named Bessie and even if she'd eased up a little after becoming a mother recently, she still kept a tidy house for by far the most part. Dawson's house was always spotless, it seemed, and the only time she could remember being in a truly messy room, was the first time she saw Pacey's room at around age seven or eight. He was just a little kid though, so he was more than excused. To see how Abby and her mom were living however, was just plain sad. Clearly, Abby had tried to steer her clear of the worst looking areas of the house, but just from what Joey could see, it wasn't like anyone was doing much in the way of housework there. Their kitchen sink was full of dirty dishes, old take-out boxes filling up its share of space and then some, and dust visible just about everywhere. More frighteningly though, were the three filled plastic bags with empty wine and vodka bottles, none of which had a speck of dust on them.

In the living room, it looked and smelled almost worse. The air was foul and rank with a mixture of old cigarette smoke and various kinds of alcohol, that had been left to fill up the space with its leftover odors. Abby quickly cleaned up the coffee table, but not before Joey counted eight empty beer cans, an empty bottle of Vodka, what she assumed was an empty carton of orange juice and two empty bottles of wine. The ashtray was filled to the brink with cigarette butts, with spilled ash on both the sofa (a sad looking thing that was begging to be replaced) and the carpet, which had lots of small burn stains on it, right around the "sofa area".

"What can I say? My mom is a thirsty lady!" Abby dark-humoredly joked.

"I can help you clean up, if you want" she offered back.

"No, it's fine. I've become used to cleaning up after her, I've just had some busy days. Have a seat and I'll be back in a second" Abby said, before bringing a quickly filled garbage bag out to the rest of the garbage, she'd seen out in front of the house.

"The poor girl! How can anyone live like this?" Joey quietly whispered to herself before dusting off a section of the couch to sit on.

"Pacey, if I die today, know that I'll go to my grave entirely blaming you for it!" Jen exasperatedly said, as she held on for dear life to the sides of the speedboat, they were sailing WAY too fast for her liking in out on the creek!

"Weren't you an adrenaline junkie back in New York?" he asked back with a cocky smile, that said just how much he was enjoying the thrill of this.

"Not one with a death wish! Can we stop for a moment, please? I think, I'm about to puke all over Mitch's speedboat!" she asked, and he immediately slowed them down to a near standstill.

"Sorry about that, Lindley. I sometimes forget that sailing isn't in everyone's blood, like it is in mine" he apologized, before taking a seat across from her and handing her a half-full bottle of water. "It isn't vodka or rum, but it should help a little with the nausea".

"Who was the last one to drink from this?" she asked suspiciously, as she took the bottle from him.

"Myself. It's been in the boat for a few days, since I went out on this fine vessel's virgin ride with Dawson and Mitch, so don't expect it to be cold, but it's still drinkable" he told her assuredly and as he'd said, drinking it made her feel a little less queasy. It also didn't hurt that when she put her lips where his had been last, she could pretend that their lips were being pressed against each other's.

"Mitch just bought this, huh?" she asked in an attempt to keep the conversation neutral.

"Some guys buy fast cars, when they hit their mid-life crisis. Around here, it's just as, if not more common that they buy fast boats".

"If that isn't Capeside in a nutshell for you, what is?"

"You don't feel at home here yet, do you?" he asked in such a kind way, that it made her want to confess everything to him, her own giant crush on him included, right then and there.

"I'm trying to, I really am. Sometimes, I do and then there's other times, where it feels like I'll never fit it in or grow to feel like I belong here".

"I grew up feeling like that. Luckily, I had Dawson, Will and Joey to hang out with, but if I hadn't had them, it would have been miserable for me here".

"So, I've more or less taken this Will guy's spot?"

"Not really. Will was more of the boy, I could go fishing with, kind of type. I still stay in touch with him, but it's been a few years since he moved away. For a while there was a girl named Mellissa too, who was a friend of sorts with Joey, and we sometimes hung out with. Then, her and Joey had a falling out of their highest kind, and I haven't talked to her since grade seven" he explained, and it made her a little curious.

"Joey has never mentioned any of this to me".

"It's probably too painful for her. See, after Joey's dad went to jail, it didn't take long for news to hit the Junior High, we went to, whose father it was that had been supplying the town with weed. From day to day, there were lots of kids there, who suddenly started avoiding Joey. Melissa, according to my guess, not wanting to be considered guilty by association, started spreading rumors about Joey to win favor with the popular crowd. It worked for her too, when it came to becoming popular, although I seriously doubt that Joey has said a word to her, since they hurled those nasty insults at one another, during their very public last bust-up a few years ago". It took Jen a second to do the math and get which Melissa he meant.

"Melissa, as in Melissa Berry from the cheerleader squad?"

"Joey has come up with many other, much less flattering names for her over the years, however that is the name she goes by, yes".

"Interesting! Especially, considering that Melissa Berry is among Joey's competition in the "Miss Windjammer Contest".

"How's that for a clash of the titans? Really, Jen. Are you okay? Sometimes, I wonder if you're holding things back, because you're afraid that you'll lose your friends, if you say it out loud. I'm not like that, you should know that about me by now".

"Am I okay?" she wondered out loud. "Pacey, I came here to get my life in order and try to make some kind of sense of this crazy thing called my existence on this earth. I try each and every day all that I can, and it still feels like I take two big steps back, for every small step I take forwards. If it isn't one thing, then it's the other and at some point, I won't be able to take any more steps backwards, before I fall into some giant abyss again. I can't go back to that, I just can't!" she confessed to him and for the first time in a while, she allowed a few tears to start flowing from her eyes.

"Hey, hey, Lindley! You're no more screwed up than the rest of us are!" he assured her and put his arms around her for a comforting hug. As she pressed herself in against him, she took in his manly scents and soon after, all of her troubles began to fade away from her mind.

"Tell me how screwed up you are, Pacey. Make me feel better about my own life" she asked and for the next hours, she just sat there and listened to him talking, while the boat gently swayed in the water. When he was done, she didn't only know him like she hadn't before. She was now sure of three things. One: His childhood had been (in a completely different way) almost as messed up as her own, but only almost. Two: She really and truly wished that she could have grown up here with him and his friends, instead of the cold and loveless upbringing she'd had back home. And three: She was for the first time in her life, where she was one hundred percent certain about it, in love. With Joey's boyfriend.

Abby and Joey spent most of the afternoon up to the early part of the evening watching TV, while Abby kept increasingly worrying over what would happen, when her mom came home. This had now gone beyond any kind of usual behavior for a woman, who lived by her routines and her not having left a note, or called to say anything about where she was, left her downright scared for what was to come.

"I should get home soon. I have homework and my sister is expecting me not to be too late, so I can help with looking after my nephew" Joey said, after they hadn't said much for the past few hours by then.

"Sure, I understand. Look, I'm usually better company than this, it's just that ..." was all Abby got out, before the phone rang.

"If you'll excuse me" she said, before rushing to get to the phone.

"Is it you, mom?" Abby answered it with, knowing that very few other people ever called them anymore.

"Is this Abigail, I'm talking to?" a voice on the other end, that she recognized as being that of Pacey's older brother Doug, asked.

"It's she. Who am I talking to?" she asked back, just to be sure.

"It's police officer Doug Witter. I believe that you've become chummy recently with my little brother, Pacey?"

"Yeah, I have. He's a nice guy, your little brother".

"He can be, when he wants to. Abigail, I'm afraid that I have some bad news. Your mom was involved in serious car crash, only a few hours ago. She's been taken to the hospital and from what they told me, it's pretty serious, so if you need a ride down there, I can be there in five minutes" Doug told her, starting off what can best be described as the worst evening of her life.

Joey had planned on excusing herself from Abby's company and calling a day on it before dinnertime, but those plans quickly changed when Doug called to tell Abby about her mom's accident. In that second, she'd become the most important person in Abby life for that day and it also meant, that she couldn't bring herself to leave Abby's side. They'd tried to call Jen's house, only to find out that she was out on the town with "Dawson's friend" and with them making up all of Abby's social circle, there was only herself left to be there for her former "frenemy".

There wasn't much to do in the hospital waiting room and it was a depressing atmosphere there, which made keeping Abby's spirits up almost impossible. What she surprisingly found out however, was that talking about their multi-year-long rivalry was the best subject at doing the trick.

"Remember in grade four when I hid on you with a water pistol before school and sprayed your pants with it, so it looked like you peed them?" Abby asked, bringing up a memory that Joey had done her best to erase over the years.

"How did I get you back for that?" she asked, probably having blocked it out of her mind.

"You ... let's see if I remember, all of these years later ... a-ha, now I remember it! You sabotaged my chances of getting in with the cool girls, when you told them that my parents were brother and sister and they'd had another child, which was born misshaped, and we kept locked up in the basement. I have to give you points for creativity for that one!" Abby recounted with a wry smile of remembrance across her otherwise sad face.

"It can't have done your social standing any wonders, though".

"Oh, well. All is fair in love and war, isn't that what they say? Remember back in grade three, when I got Stacey Nicholl to believe that you were born with two sets of genitalia and your parents flipped a coin over whether to raise you as a boy or a girl? That was one of my proudest moments of the entire war!"

"That was you? So, that's why when Kenny asked me out in grade eight, he started out by asking if I was more one or the other! I've been wondering what he meant ever since that day!"

"Look on the bright side, Joey. Thanks to the dumbest boys still believing that you're half-and-half, you won't have to bother with them asking you out ever! If anything, you should be thanking me".

"Abby, we really need to stop doing those things and never do them again!"

"Yeah, I agree. It was sometimes fun, while it lasted though, wasn't it?"

"It had it's few moments of satisfaction here and there. But now, where we've grown up and have some dear friends in common, it's also time we started behaving like a pair of civilized adults. You can't be a child for your entire life, after all".

"What about Uncle Joey from "Full House"?" Abby asked and just seeing her smile, made Joey feel a little proud of herself for being there for someone like this.

"He's just a fictional character. Although, I do have a great-uncle Royston, who's forty and has never really grown up. It also perfectly explains why he's had three failed marriages already".

"With a name like Royston, did he ever really stand a chance?" Abby quipped and seconds later, Pacey's older brother Doug came in.

"Abigail. It's good to see that you have friend here with you and aren't alone. How are you holding up?" he asked concernedly.

"Worried. They haven't told me much" Abby replied.

"I have good news and bad news" he told them, before sitting down with them.

"The good news is that she's come out of surgery, and it all went according to plan. It'll take some time, but from what the doctor told me, she's expected to make if not a full recovery, then very close to it" he continued to explain and both of them drew a sigh of relief.

"That's something, at least. What's the bad news?" she asked for Abby, whom she was guessing wouldn't want to be told and therefore wouldn't ask.

"We ran a blood test on her, when she came in. Did you know that she was fired from her job as nurse this morning, for being caught drinking on the job?" he asked and from the looks on Abby's face, this was brand-new information for her.

"No, I had no clue" Abby dumbfoundedly answered him.

"Apparently, it wasn't the first time and she'd had co-workers covering for her on other occasions. Our theory is that she went right from there to "The Watering Hole", where the owner has told us that she drank until she was so drunk, that she could barely talk. They offered to call her a cab, which she refused and roughly fifteen minutes later, she crashed into another car in an intersection, where she ran a red light. Do you know what a blood alcohol level is?"

"They've told us in school" Abby answered for her very quietly, while staring a hole through the floor.

"Hers was measured at over six times past the legal limit for driving under the influence. I bet she hasn't told you about the other four times we've given her tickets for DUI, or the court ordered rehab, she still hasn't signed up for?". Again, Abby clearly wasn't in the know about any of it.

"I had no idea" she whispered.

"Abigail, I hate to be the one to tell you this, I really do. Is your dad a part of your life?" he inquired and only got a small shake of Abby's head as his answer.

"Any other family around here, that you can perhaps move in temporarily with?" he tried again, getting the same answer. "Abigail, this has become a very serious situation for your mother. She was driving while highly intoxicated with her legal history and that far above the limit, she ran a red light and right into another car, that from our findings were driving by the rules and where two people were rather seriously injured. It all adds up to a good while in jail for her, I'm sorry to say. All of that will happen in due time and for now, she'll have to stay here for a few weeks as a minimum, while she recovers from her injuries. After she's released, you can then decide on whether you want to go back to living with her or not and should she be convicted in a court of law, as I expect she will, we'll then have to start looking into a more permanent housing situation for you. The main thing right now is that we need to figure out a living situation for you, so this doesn't entirely uproot your life from one day to the next, more than it already has and will".

"I have no idea ..." was all Abby said, before Joey made a spur of the moment decision. One that it wouldn't be easy to sell to Bessie, but not impossible either.

"She can stay with us for now. If any family around here knows how to be accepting to the daughter of a jailbird, it has to be ours, right?" she offered and from the grateful smile on Abby's face, it became clear that what had been the unlikeliest of scenarios less than a day before, had just become reality.

END OF CHAPTER TWELVE

Chapter Text

Been dazed and confused

For so long, it's not true

LED ZEPPELIN (From the album "Led Zeppelin" (1969))

After weeks of confusion over where exactly he stood, Pacey had decided to man up and do what he'd wanted to the day after it happened: Find out how Joey felt, when it came to them getting down and dirty in the storeroom of "Screen Time", almost a month earlier. He'd tried to beat around the bush on the subject, in the hope that she would bring it up, so he didn't have to. Seeing as that hadn't worked, he'd now brought her down to the place, where their relationship had forever changed, to both get a romantic excursion with her out of it and find out precisely where he stood.

"Remember this place?" he asked her with a gleam in his eyes, that almost matched that of hers.

"It rings a bell. Right over there was where we came back onto shore, after you'd lost us our boat" she said, while pointing over to where they'd waded onto land on the day of their first kisses.

"Right here on this spot, is where I found out that I like you" he told her, as he brought her over to where the Wagoneer had been parked and he'd almost gotten a glimpse of Joey topless in the rearview mirror.

"I can say the same back to you" she replied through a sweet smile, in what sounded like an earnest tone to him.

"I can't say that I'd planned on kissing you that day. I'm glad that I did, though".

"You don't think, I am? Pacey, these past months, it's been like ... have you ever had that feeling, that life just can't get better? I mean, of course there are parts of my life that could be. Like I'd wish that my dad wasn't in jail, for one thing, or that I didn't have to wear hand-me-down clothes from Bessie, when she was my age, until there's practically nothing left to hold them together, because new clothes is a luxury that's only afforded to us in cases of emergency, if it isn't the occasional birthday or Christmas present. What I'm trying to say through my endless rambles I guess, is that practically every day with you has been as if I'm living in some wonderful dream, that I never want to wake up from. Don't think anything else, please!" she told him while still smiling, although it was with a slight look of worry too, that didn't sit well with him.

"There is something, isn't there? I knew that we should have waited, Jo! Look, I'm so sorry, if you feel like I've pressured you into doing something, you're not ready for! If I did, then I never meant to, I swear!" he exasperatedly got out, in the thought that this could be the moment, where it all began to go downhill for him. Joey (for some strange reason, that he couldn't quite understand) looked kind of relieved, though.

"Pacey, if this is about that evening, and I don't think need to spell out which one it is to you, it's perfectly fine! It took two of us to go that far, remember?"

"You're really okay with it? Joey, I've been worried sick that the reason why we haven't moved beyond kissing since that evening, was because you regretted it!"

"I don't, it was just ... perhaps a case of too much, too soon for me. I mean, it isn't that I didn't like it, because I really, really did! Believe me, Pacey, if this was a taste of what the real deal will be like with you someday, I'm looking forward to it like a little kid who's counting down the days before Christmas! What I'm trying to say it that you'll have to be patient with me. Is that okay?" she asked with such hope in those beautiful blue eyes, that the only answer it felt right to give her, was the kiss of her life up to that point.

"Okay, firstly: Wow! Secondly, you're really fine with us taking this in baby steps?" she gaspingly asked, while trying to catch her breath after their long smooch.

"Actually, I think it could turn out to be an advantage for me" he said, as her brow furrowed in confusion.

"You've lost me! Isn't having sex what all boys your age dream of doing?" she asked, and now he had to laugh.

"Some of us, but not all of us! Let me explain".

"Please do!"

"Some guys my age just want to try it and don't care much, who it's with. I want it to be special not only for myself, but just as much for the girl, I'm with. And let's face it, I'm still a rookie, when it comes to what gets girls off! Honestly Jo, I just tried moves on you, that I remember reading about in some old Penthouse magazine, Dawson and I happened to find lying on a park bench years ago. If it was great for you, I'm both glad and feeling slightly more manly than usual, but you should know that it was more or less by pure luck!" he truthfully told her and now she couldn't help laughing a little either.

"Whatever works, right?" she jokingly replied, and at the same time easing the tension within him.

"Before we get that far, I need to have worked up a back-up plan, in case my first plan doesn't work".

"Basically, things that you can do to get me off, in case I don't have an orgasm from having sex with you. Am I getting that right?"

"If we went all the way now, sure, I'd know how the basics work, I'd just pretty much know nothing more than that. You deserve to have the complete package and as much as I love to be your first, I still have to move up from where I'm at now, to at least where I don't feel like I'm a fumbling amateur anymore" he honestly confessed, as she pulled him in for a tight and warm hug.

"In that case, we'd better schedule an intense practice session for you in the immediate future! You're a pretty incredible boyfriend, you know that?" she teasingly asked, and it didn't take many moments for that most welcome feeling of pride, to start rising up within his innards.

"You aren't too bad yourself, Potter. How's the whole Abby living with you guys going, anyway?"

"You won't believe, what's happened!" she answered while rolling her eyes, making him all the more curious to find out.

It wasn't like Joey didn't want everyone else to be as happy, as she was. Cynical as she could be and knowing that such a thing as universal happiness only exists in Disney movies, there was still a childish part of her that wanted to believe, that everyone was fine and there were no problems in the world. She was just finding it a little hard to feel the same way when it came to Abby, now that the other girl was seriously invading her personal space! And not only that, was being accepted into her family, like she'd always been a part of it.

Bessie, as it was expected, wasn't exactly on board with the idea of one more soul helping to occupy what little space, they had in their house. After Joey had explained the situation to her however, Bessie had agreed to allow Abby to stay temporarily until she could find somewhere else to live. This was what Joey had thought would happen too, when she'd made Abby the offer to stay with them, only now it looked like she was starting to nest on the old fold-out bed, their Neighbor'd had sitting in his attic for years and they'd set up in the living room. The one thing she had been worried about was whether Abby would get along with everyone, but not even that was looking like it would be an issue. Alexander had taken to her practically at first sight, she already knew that Bodie liked everyone who was nice back to him and maybe it was just her own paranoid thoughts, but it seemed like Abby was bringing out an overly nice side of Bessie, when they were together, that Bessie would then dish back in extra anger onto herself.

"The entire evening, Bessie didn't argue back with Abby once! Not a single time! That just doesn't happen!" she complained to Dawson, whose bed she was sitting on and was lending a friendly ear to her while he was searching for his copy of "Single White Female", that she'd asked him to bring home from the video store for the occasion.

"Would you rather have them at each other's throats all of the time?" he asked back, only half listening and clearly more interested in finding the tape, he'd somehow managed to misplace.

"It would be nice, if they could just argue now and then, like me and Bessie do! She's never going to leave, I just know it and then, I'll be forced to live with her, until that blessed day, where I leave for college! Either that or until I convince Pacey to steal a boat and sail away with me, I still haven't decided which yet!"

"You don't think that buying one would be easier?"

"I love the guy to bits, but it is Pacey we're talking about here! I'd like to keep my fantasies just a little bit realistic!" she pouted, but it only made him smile to himself and not only over finding, what he'd been looking for underneath a dirty pair of jeans on the floor.

"Is this new houseguest of yours also why you suddenly felt like paying me a visit, after we've barely hung out alone since you hooked up with Pacey?" he replied, while clearly doing his best to hide a hint of jealousy in his tone.

"I've just been too busy to hang out all that much, you know that. Anyway, I'm not the only one, who's been sidetracked by romance lately! How are things going with you and mousy girl?" she asked, knowing already what the answer would be. From the time they'd become a couple, Dawson and Mary-Beth had seemed to her like a match, that just made perfect sense. Both were kind of shy, when it came to opposite sex, both of them highly intelligent, though not in the emotional sense yet and both of them came from protected upbringings, where very little bad had ever happened to either of them, save for the occasional loss of an elderly family member or something like that.

"Moving very slowly along. My grades have improved, since we started studying together, so that's something, I suppose".

"She's just not into getting physical yet, is that it?" she curiously asked him and from the look of him, he was trying not to be annoyed with it, just not doing a very good job at it.

"We're still firmly entrenched on the first square on the Monopoly board, after the starting point. I'd rather not talk about it with you, if you don't mind".

"Why not? We used to be able to talk about everything".

"That was before we were both in romantic relationships. If you ask me, those things are better kept as private, as we can keep them. I don't want to know how far you and Pacey have gone, just like you deep down don't want to hear about my romantic escapades".

"You aren't a little bit curious?"

"The wideness of Pacey's goofy smile after you've made out, is usually a good indicator and about as much, as I feel the need to know on the subject. You have Jen to share all that stuff with now, or perhaps even Abby, if you give her a chance. We can still talk about every other subject known to man, there's just a natural gender dividing boundary there that's come around with age and we can't do anything about".

As much as she didn't want to admit it, she knew that he was right.

Usually, Pacey didn't mind training the new employees at "Screen Time" and with the extremely high turnover in staff on the morning shift (also known as "The Shift of Death" among those working it, since it was deader at the store than the inside of a grave for most of the time), he'd already trained a few of them in his eight months working at the store. Now that the last two working it, a pair of late-teen college dropouts named Debbie and Dan had been fired for having sex with each other on the job, the owner had been desperately scrambling to find a new staff member to fill the vacancy. With them not exactly being the most attractive place of employment in Capeside pay-wise, they had to settle for what they could get. This had led to the hiring of Nicole, a recently turned nineteen-year-old high school drop-out, who fit the bill to a T, for how the hirings at the store usually went. She was extremely lazy, groaned in annoyance whenever she was asked to do any work, only barely paid any attention to what was being taught to her and had started out on her new job by asking if she could leave work an hour early. When she did, Pacey wasn't sorry to see her leave and made a three to two bet with himself, that they'd never see her again.

The last hour of the shift was for the most part, a tedious affair as far as the weekdays went. On most evenings there would only be a few customers coming in, mostly those who needed to return tapes at the last moment and didn't want to pay late fees, the next time they wanted to rent a VHS tape. That was the way it had gone too, all according to the usual, until he had only had a few minutes left until closing time and a beautiful blonde girl entered the store.

"Miss Jen Lindley! What brings you around these parts, at this time of the evening?"

"Just returning these. I was hoping that I'd catch you still being open" she replied, after putting a pair of tapes on the counter.

"What have we been watching?" he mumbled to himself, as he opened up the covers and looked over the tapes. "I see that we're dealing with a John Hughes fan here. "Pretty in Pink" and "St. Elmo's Fire"?"

"I know, it totally tips the corny scale, but I like watching characters that are more messed up than myself".

"Demi Moore in that second choice certainly fits that bill. Who's the messed up one in "Pretty in Pink", in your opinion?"

"All of them are, you just have to read between the lines".

"If messed up is what you're looking for, may I suggest "Kids" or "Less Than Zero" for your next movie choices?"

"I'll keep those in mind. How it did it go with your trainee tonight?" Jen asked sweetly, with a smile so warm for him, that it could have melted an entire polar ice cap.

"If she turns up for her first day shift tomorrow and that's a big if, she won't last half the day. Wanna bet?" he asked back, while flashing her a boyish smile.

"I'll take your word for it and save my money for something else".

"Don't your parents have plenty of moolah in the bank?"

"More than they'll ever need, but now that I've become the black sheep of their immediate family, I'm living on a fifty-dollar allowance from them every month. Most of which I spend on food at school. Doesn't exactly leave much room left for luxuries like an evening out now and again, does it?" she sighed, giving him an idea at the same time.

"You know, Dawson has been wanting to cut down on his hours, now that he has something more important to spend his afternoons on?"

"Something that has the initials M and B?"

"It'll only be two or three afternoons and evenings a week, but it'll give you some spending money. Another thing is, wouldn't it be pretty damn awesome, if you could tell your parents that you got an after-school job and you don't need their pitifully small allowance anymore?"

Even as he asked it, her smile seemed to widen with every word.

"You really think, you can get me the job? I don't have any kind of work experience".

"You think, I had any work experience to speak of, when I got hired? All I had on my CV was the paper route I had for two months in grade seven, that I quit on because of a vicious dog on my route, I was afraid would end up biting me! It showed that I had some proper pedaling skills on my bike, but I was starting at the same point, you'll be. Dawson did too, so trust me Lindley, you'll do fine! This is an easy job and you'll either have me or Dawson here all of the time to teach you anything, you need to know. Say yes, please! Just so I don't end up having to work more shifts with someone like Nicole, in which case I will end up running screaming away from here sooner or later!" he said half-jokingly, while not hiding that he'd much rather have Jen working there with him, than anyone else he could think of. There was Joey, of course, but it would be hard to keep his hands and lips off her for that long at a time. With Jen there wasn't that problem, since he (in spite of the almost natural attraction that a guy like him would have for a girl like her, who on top of being kind, beautiful and sweet, also was someone with a psyche very alike to his own) didn't for the life of him want to do anything with Joey's friend, that could lead to the girl he loved, hating himself as a result.

"In that case, how can I say no? Do I have to wear one of those employee t-shirts, though? They're really not all that flattering to look at!"

After having spent most of the evening at Dawson's and rowing back to her family's house, all Joey wanted was to go to sleep as fast as she could and catch some z's before she had to get up early the day after. When she came in however, she could hear someone watching Letterman in the living room at a low volume. Coming in there, she found Abby lying on her temporary fold-out bed and watching TV.

"Did you have fun with Dawson? Even if such a concept sounds very foreign to me, you've seemed to master it over the years" Abby quipped.

"Yeah, I guess. Look, I'll just ..."

"What if I told you, that I can keep living here and help to contribute to the house finances?" Abby gladly asked, not knowing that she was telling Joey arguably the one thing, she didn't want to hear at that moment.

"How?"

"I spoke to my dad for the first time in ages today. After I told him how bad it was living for that last while with my mom and how great I'm doing here with you guys, he's agreed to wire transfer money every month to Bessie's bank account, to cover for her and Bodie's expenses in housing me. They're both cool with it, as long as I help out around the house and cover for you a few times a week at the Icehouse, so you can have more days off to hang out and have fun with Pacey or your other friends. She didn't think that would be an idea, you'd have the slightest bit against".

"Why would I? You seem to have it all figured out! I guess, congratulations are in order".

"This definitely blows my old living situation out of the water! So, have you told Pacey about France yet?" Abby asked like this was nothing and something, she was supposed to hear about!

"How did you find out?" she asked so angrily, that it made Abby put her hands up in surrender.

"I overheard Bessie and Bodie talking about it. You haven't told him yet, have you?"

"No, and if I'm not leaving, there's no reason to ever tell him!".

"Your sister wants you to go. We talked after I'd heard and she told me that she wishes, she'd have seen more of the world, before she became a mom and had to settle down here. She told me about your mom too, and how she would have wanted you to go. You could be living out that fantasy for your sister and honoring your mom's memory at the same time. You know that don't you?"

Joey didn't know what to say, that didn't involve Pacey in one way or the other. Was this first love enough to keep her where she was, however? Or was the lure of the grand adventure bigger, than she could begin to stomach?

END OF CHAPTER THIRTEEN

Chapter Text

"There's gonna be a heartache tonight

A heartache tonight, I know"

EAGLES (From the album "The Long Run" (1979))

"You have to promise me that you won't laugh" Joey told Jen, who was waiting in anticipation to hear Joey's speech for the upcoming "Miss Windjammer Contest", that was now only a week away with Joey clearly feeling no more ready for it, than she had when she'd signed up for the contest a few weeks earlier. This first dress rehearsal though, taking place in Jen's room, had Jen thinking that her friend would win it without contest and not only just because Joey would be her own personal favorite, among the competitors.

"Let me tell you a story, Joey" Jen began explaining. "Six years ago, when I was nine, I was forced by my parents to attend the sixtieth birthday party for my great aunt Hilda. Hilda is not just one of the meanest and rudest women you'll ever meet in your life but is without a shadow of a doubt the meanest and rudest person, you could ever meet, anywhere!"

"And you don't get along with her? Color me shocked!" Joey quipped in response.

"So anyway, during the celebration of her being a year closer to the grave, my great-grandfather Albert decided to give a speech. Joey, he lost his hairpiece, mid-speech, and it fell right into his bowl of soup! I was nine, sitting no more than five feet away from him and I somehow managed to stop myself from laughing. If I could manage it at that age and in that situation, I'm sure that fifteen-year-old me can sit through your "Miss Windjammer" speech without cracking a smile!" she recounted to a giggling Joey.

"You laughed afterwards though, didn't you?"

"I was nine! It was impossible not to! Now, go on and wow me, like you're going to wow those judges at the contest. You're really sure that they're going to ask you the old "What would you tell the youth" Question?"

"From what I've heard, they've been re-using it every year, going back several decades. Part of it is inspired by you. Okay, here goes nothing" Joey began, before clearing her throat and holding up her piece of paper, from which to read from. "I'd like to tell today's youth that no matter where life takes you, big cities, small towns, you'll inevitably come across small minds. People who think that they're better than you are. People who think that material things, or being pretty or popular automatically makes you a worthwhile human being. I'd like to tell today's youth that none of these things matter unless you have strength of character, integrity, sense of pride, and if you're lucky enough to have any of these things ... don't ever sell them. Don't ever sell out. So, when you meet a person for the first time, please don't judge them by their station on life, because, who knows? That person just might end up being your best friend. Thank you".

As she applauded her friend, Jen could see the pride building up in Joey at the same time.

"I'm holding back the tears, really!" she told Joey, who blushed a little at all of this praise, she was suddenly getting.

"It isn't that great" Joey said dismissively, once again letting her low self-esteem raise its ugly head. This time though, Jen was determined not to let it spread it's negative vibes.

"In my opinion and as someone, who's been to far more of those contests, than she wishes that she had, I can tell you that you have a winner there! I really helped to inspire it? That's so cool!" she told Joey smilingly, making Joey smile along with her.

"I just thought about what would have happened, if we'd never had the chance to be introduced to one another, like we were. Before I got to know you, I had this idea in my head of what rich girls from Manhattan were like and if I have to be honest, it wasn't exactly a pretty picture. The last thing I ever imagined was someday being friends with one, and now I see how narrow-minded, I was being. Now that I've gotten to know you, it's opened my world up, like it never was before and it's made me look at people as a whole in a different way. Where before, I was fine in my own little world and being closed off to them, now I want to be open to the world and new experiences and make even more new friends like you along the way. I have you to thank for all of that" Joey told her truthfully and Jen couldn't have felt prouder in that moment, if she'd tried.

Of course, Joey didn't know about the now long running and becoming more uncontrollable on a daily basis crush, that she had on Joey's boyfriend and how hard it was to keep herself from telling him how she felt.

"Okay, you turn now" Joey ordered her, after a few long moments of sweetness vibes between them, that Joey was just as bad at dealing with, as she herself was.

"I don't have it all planned out yet, but I have come up with an opening line. "Abby, we need to talk about that kiss between us. I'm sure you have a lot of questions; you could use some answers to". What do you think?" she asked, while trying to hide her lack of enthusiasm for the conversation, she was planning to have with Abby that evening.

"You still haven't had kiss number one with Mary-Beth?" Pacey asked him for the third time, still clearly not grasping that such a thing was a possibility for two teenagers, who like one another and hung out as much, as he and Mary-Beth did.

"For the third time. No, we haven't made out yet! Every time, I try to bring it up, she says that she wants to, once she feels entirely sure that I'm over Jen. I've been completely over her for weeks now" he told Pacey more or less honestly. While the young Miss Lindley still made the occasional appearance in his wet dreams, he'd accepted that they probably wouldn't become more than close friends and was fine with it. Mary-Beth was so close to being on the same prettiness level as Jen (in his own humble opinion), that it ruled out looks as being a factor in his decision making. Best of all, unlike how it was with Jen, where she frequently had him confused over what his standing with her was, Mary-Beth had practically been like an open book, when it came to how she felt about him. At least, as far as girls her age went!

"Don't you just have to convince her that you're over Jen, in that case? It seems like the logical solution to me, your proud C-student oldest amigo!" Pacey joked, obviously without grasping how frustrating of a problem, this had become to him.

"I've tried! Of course, I've tried time and time again, but she won't believe me. I don't want to push her away, like I did with Jen, but I can't wait forever for her either. I guess, what I'm asking if you have any ideas, that could work, because I'm close to being out of them".

"And the only ones left are those, you save for a truly desperate situation, am I right?"

"Right!"

Pacey took several seconds to think about it, before coming up with his first suggestion.

"You could borrow my sister's old 80's style boombox, stand outside of her window and hold it up, while it plays "In Your Eyes". It worked for John Cusack in "Say Anything", you can't deny that!"

"Because, it was the song, he made out with the girl to, the first time they hooked up".

"I totally missed that part! It makes a whole lot more sense, why he chose that particular song now! Or better yet, why don't you sing it to her?" Pacey suggested, getting a headshake in reply.

"You've heard me sing".

"Good point!"

"Anyway, I just watched that movie with her a few weeks ago, so she'd know where I stole the idea from".

"I should make a mental note of watching it again, the next time I have a boring shift at "Screen Time". Done! What else can we come up with ... okay, what about this idea? You kidnap the both of them ..."

"Hold on! Why do I need to kidnap them, when I can just as easily ask them?"

"To add to the drama of the situation! You know what they say, nothing sells a movie like a good piece of drama! Or these days, having Pamela Anderson's giant boobs on your poster, but that's a different matter! Anyway, every time the hero and the babe go through some kind of dramatic situation together, they wind up doing all sorts of things to one another afterwards".

"That's a ludicrous idea, Pacey! What kind of things are we talking about?" he couldn't help himself from asking.

"All of the things, you want to be doing with Mary-Beth, but isn't currently getting any payback in the form of from her, for all of that time you've been spending together, my friend!" Pacey told him back with a knowing smirk on his face.

"This is the evening, where you get over these stupid inhibitions of yours and just go for it! Even if it's your first kiss, it's still just a kiss, nothing more!" Mary-Beth thought to herself, while finishing up the two-hour process of getting herself shined up and ready, for her study date with Dawson.

She wanted to have her first kiss with him, she was sure of it, there just never seemed to be the perfect occasion for it. The second kiss and all of those after it, she didn't care where would take place, but she wanted her first to be one that she could think back on and smile, when she became old and grey someday far into the future, and the romantic moment, that she would measure all other romantic moments against in the future. He'd almost gotten it right a time or three, just not exactly right and now, she was beginning to worry that he thought she didn't want to make out with him, when she really, really did!

Until he did get it absolutely perfectly right, she had the excuse of saying that she thought, he wasn't over Jen yet (which he obviously was, but it was still the best excuse, she could come up with) and it had held him back so far, although it was an excuse, that was starting to wear thin. Maybe, she should just go for it and settle for a second-best or even third-best moment for her first kiss and that should be good enough for her, like it was for almost all other girls. Forget about these crazy, overly romantic ideas she had in her mind of what that special moment should feel like and come down to earth, where a world of mediocrity awaited her. Now that she had found the right guy, she definitely didn't want to scare him off, by having him think that she wasn't interested in him that way.

Seeing as this could be a defining day in her friendship with Abby going forward, it also had been extremely hard for Jen to concentrate on anything else during the day. Her classes had all gone in one ear and out the other, while several more or less far out scenarios over how it could turn out, played out in her head. Most of which did not have happy endings to them.

To take her mind off it, she'd offered to help Grams with cooking dinner and after her help had been gladly accepted, it had for the most part worked, for the forty or so minutes that they'd spent making that evening's dinner. Abby was working her first shift that afternoon at the Icehouse and so, wouldn't be coming over until half past seven at the earliest. In Grams' world, eating dinner that late was the same as not going to church on Sundays, as in it being completely unthinkable, meaning that it would once again only be the two of them for dinner.

"Do you have a lot on your mind, Jennifer?" Grams asked her, after several minutes had passed during dinner without any conversation between them.

"Don't girls my age always have a lot on their minds?" she answered neutrally, not really being in the mood for a confessional with someone, she knew lived and died by the words of the bible.

"They do, if they're the same as they were, when I was one. You can talk to me about the things, that are going on in your life. You might even find out that it's true, when they say that wisdom comes with age" Grams told her, in the warm and soft way, that it sometimes felt to Jen, like only she could.

"You don't want to bother your head with my teenage problems, trust me!"

"Try me" Grams dared her and since there was nothing to lose in it, Jen figured asking someone with much more experience than herself, wouldn't be the worst idea. As long as she kept the names of those involved out of her confessional, it goes without saying.

"Basically, I've gotten myself into a huge emotional and romantic mess, but what else is new? There's this guy, who I really like and if we became a couple, I think it would be the thing, that would finally make me feel at home here. We're already great friends, we've both gone through some stuff growing up and when we talk alone, he makes me feel like I'm not just some damaged girl, who came here to escape her dark beginnings. If he didn't already have the perfect girlfriend, I'd be going after him in a heartbeat" she confessed truthfully, before Grams to a handful of seconds to think over what her answer should be.

"Why do you use the word "Perfect" about this other girl?"

"Because they're clearly perfect for each other! They grew up together and spent years unknowingly flirting, to build up to where they are now. I can't compete with that, as the new girl in town. On top of that, she's one of the few of the girls at school, who's been nothing but nice to me, since I came here. I don't want to be the kind of girl, who pays that sort of kindness back to someone, who's come to mean as much to me as she has, by being a rotten, boyfriend-stealing bitch! Sorry, Grams. I didn't mean to swear at the dinner table" she said apologizingly, knowing how formal her dear grandmother was on these things.

"I'm sure that the good lord is willing to forgive such a small indiscretion, Dear. Especially, considering the, might I add very comforting to hear, context, it was said in" Grams assured her with a small smile.

"Then to make it even more complicated, there's someone else. Another friend of mine, who I really like too and have already kissed with once, but I don't know if I want it to become more with".

"Why not, if you don't mind me asking?"

"Grams, in my whole life so far, I've had six of what I would call actual boyfriends. How many of them would you guess that I still talked to, the day after we'd broken up? Two, Dawson and the boyfriend I had last before him, who only wants to talk if it's to hear me say that I'll jump right into bed with him. As for the other four, I never talked to any of them again after our break-up. You've probably noticed that it isn't like I have the biggest of social circles in Capeside, so I want to do everything that I can to hold on to those, who are a part of it. You get that, don't you?" she asked, getting an understanding look from the elderly lady in return.

"Believe it or not, you and I aren't nearly as different, as you think we are, Jennifer. I too didn't have a large social circle, as you kids like to call it these days, and the small handful of friends I did have, meant the world to me at your age. With the exception of a few, who have passed away over the years, I still count them among my closest acquaintances to this very day. Of course, we didn't mix as much across the genders in our little friend groups back in my high school years, as you kids do today and all of those in it were girls, so anything romantic happening between us wasn't going to happen, but I can easily still see where you're coming from, as far as your fear of losing any of them. I would have felt the exact same way in your situation. I'm afraid that the only advice I have for you, is to be open about your feelings to this boy and as for the other one, I agree that you shouldn't do anything to mess up your friendship with that Potter girl. I've never liked her father and I'll keep my opinion about her living situation to myself, but she's always been a clever girl and she's the kind of influence of you, I'm guessing that you could have used more of back home. Am I right?" Grams asked back knowingly.

"You would be correct there" Jen replied and couldn't help smiling a little to herself at how well Grams knew her, after all. "Was it that obvious, from how I said it?"

"As you yourself said, Jennifer, you have a very small social circle. Is the other boy Dawson?"

"No, it's not. It's ... someone, I haven't introduced you to yet. I only see them in school" she lied, playing it tactically in case Grams wouldn't take too kindly to herself breaking one of the cardinal rules of the bible.

"I'm sure that you'll introduce me to him, when you feel good and ready to".

"Grams, why did you say that there was no chance of anything romantic happening, just because it was all girls in your social circle? There is such a thing as homosexuals, you know?" she asked, as a way to run a covert test on how Grams felt on the subject. It bringing a sad look onto her grandmother's face, was in a morbid way a little comforting.

"I'm sure that they existed back then too, without any of us knowing about it. Those poor people! To be forced to live a lie for your entire existence here on God's green earth, because that's what society dictated, has to have felt like it was a punishment so unfair, that it was brought onto them by the devil himself".

"I'm guessing that you didn't have any gay kids in school back then, right?"

"The rumor alone that you could be "one of them" could lead to someone being shunned by practically everyone, even their closest friends. I only remember hearing some rumors about one girl at our school once, and from what people said it was enough for her parents to move away, just to get her as far away from those rumors, as they could. I don't even think that anyone knew for sure, if she was one, but it was enough to make life for her there so bad, that she apparently couldn't take any more of it. There are many things from years past, that I wish we had back, but it pleases me to see how tolerant of those with "different lifestyles" that your generation is, compared to the way of thinking that we were brought up on. It makes me think that your parents must have done something correctly" Grams quipped.

"Either that or pop music. My money is on choice number two" Jen sarcastically replied, while trying to come up with the perfect opening line for the conversation to come later that evening.

After the whirlwind of bad suggestions (also known as Pacey) had left, Dawson had a good hour to eat dinner with his parents, grab a shower and tidy up his room before Mary-Beth arrived. Going through his mind the entire time were different ways of asking her, what the deal with her not wanting to kiss him was. It couldn't still be that she was afraid, that he wasn't over Jen yet! He talked to Jen at school every day and they would hang out together, when they hung out as a group. As for him having a crush on her though, he was far past what happened between them at the end of their short relationship. Sure, it wasn't how he'd planned it out at all, when they'd had their first kiss, but he was also enough of a realist to know that it's what happens in relationships between two fifteen-year-olds, who were still practically strangers going in. Whenever he thought back to the best times of his and Jen's romantic fling, he was just glad that he got the positive experience out of it, that he did, and had otherwise been ready to move on for a good while.

The subjects that they were supposed to be studying that evening weren't what you could call romantic ones, so steering the conversation in the right direction wouldn't be an easy feat. He had to find out though and soon, before he conceded that he'd been wasting his time on a girl, who would never like him back, like he liked her.

How can you find anything romantic about algebra? That was a question, Mary-Beth had asked herself several times, during the first hour of her study date with Dawson. Next after this was studying US history and discussing civil war battles wasn't an easy segway into talking about kissing either. Even if they should be studying these things for class, she hadn't spent two hours making herself look her best, just to discuss their views on the battle of Gettysburg with him! He'd said that she looked nice, when she'd arrived (which alone had been enough to give her a fuzzy and warm feeling in her belly), but since then they been stuck on solving equations for math class. Most which were so easy, that she could have solved them in her sleep.

"Last problem solved! Thanks for making an appearance algebra, but we won't be missing you!" he joked, making her giggle a little. It took so little to make her giggle, when it came to him, that it sometimes astounded her. She figured that's just what it's like, when you have a huge crush on someone, like she had on Dawson.

"I concur!" she agreed with him.

"Do you want to take a break, before we move on to US history? I could use one" he asked her with a pleading look. Not that she minded taking a break at all.

"We're far enough ahead of schedule, that we can afford ourselves one. We could go downstairs and watch some TV with your parents" she suggested. Mitch and Gail were always so nice towards her, that she almost felt guilty for not talking more to them than saying hello and goodbye to them, nearly every time she came over.

"I'd like to talk about us, if that's okay" he began, looking like he was gauging her reaction to the question.

"Sure, we can talk about us" she replied nervously.

"Mary-Beth, I don't know how many times I can keep on telling you, that I'm over Jen. Like, way over her! I mean ... do you even like me in a "You Want Me to be Your Boyfriend Way" or have I been completely misreading your signals?" he asked and it was enough to almost send her into a panic.

"No, I like you that way! Dawson, I really do!"

"Then, why haven't we kissed yet? It isn't like we haven't had the opportunity to".

"It's me, okay? I have this idea in my head, that's probably a foolish idea, that my first kiss has to be everything, I've ever wished it could be. I know that you're over Jen, it isn't that anymore. I know, I'm a total far-too-overly romantic fool! I want it to be with you though, you have to believe me!" she exasperatedly told him, but it only brought a smile to his face.

"That's the only reason, that you want it to be perfect? Why didn't you just say that?" he asked her and now, she felt a little foolish for having hid it from him.

"Because true perfection is in nearly every case unattainable, and I should know that by now! It's all me being silly and has nothing to do with you, I promise. I want you to be my first boyfriend and I think, we stand a pretty good chance of lasting as a couple for a long time. Probably not forever, but I can settle for less" she jokingly said, and it felt like a weight had been taken off her shoulders, now that she'd come clean.

"It's too late to go out now. What do you say that you spend the time until this Saturday coming up with what your perfect first kiss would be like, and then after we have dinner at the Icehouse, we see how close we can come to making it come true?"

"You don't have to do this for me, Dawson".

"I want to. You should have a perfect first kiss, Mary-Beth. It would be my honor to be the one, who gives it to you".

Moments later, she took his hand and their hands stayed locked that way for the rest of the evening, right up until she had to go home.

END OF CHAPTER FOURTEEN

Chapter Text

"Big gay heart,

big gay heart.

Please, don´t break my big gay heart"

LEMONHEADS (From the album "It´s a Shame About Ray" (1993))

Abby knew that this would be a big day in her life so far, when she'd woken up that morning and immediately, had started playing out in her mind, how her "talk" with Jen that evening would go. Somehow, she'd managed to be decidedly not pushy, when it came to the subject, ever since their first and only kiss so far. It had been a huge, life-changing moment and although it would have been nice to have had "the talk" right afterwards, having a week to digest it all and putting it into perspective had helped to make her surer of a few things. First and foremost, of those was that she wanted Jen to be her first girlfriend, should Jen want to do the same thing with her. She felt ready to explore this crazy little thing called love for the first time and who better was there for her to try it with, than the girl who had helped to save her from the mostly miserable life she'd led, before they became friends?

Her time living with a depressed alcoholic almost felt like something that happened to someone else already, now that she was living with the Potter family and joyfully soaking up every moment of living there, like it was going out of fashion. Even if they weren't the most conventional family, the way they'd taken her in had made her feel welcome and like a part of the family from the moment, she'd stepped through their front door for the first time. In turn, it had made her feel at home there in no time. Another new sensation had begun to spring forth in her as well: She actually wanted to help the family out and pay back the kindness, they were showing her! Whether it was helping out at the restaurant, doing the dishes after dinner or getting up in the middle of the night to comfort a crying Alexander, she was finding that there was a strange sense of accomplishment, one she had to admit felt pretty great, that came along with helping out.

Best of all though, was how all of that constant uncertainty over how the next day would turn out, had all but completely gone away as well. Knowing what kind of her mood her mom would be in from one day from the next was close to impossible to predict, and it would usually be herself, who felt the consequences in the form of getting yelled at and called nasty things, whenever that mood would hit rock bottom. Bodie, Bessie and Joey were the kind of people, who would never treat her like that and having Alexander as an adorable "Bonus Little Brother", was just the cherry on the "Good Luck Sundae", she was indulging in all that she could.

The only thing that could make her life look even more up, was if Jen told her that she'd been thinking about their kiss constantly too and before the evening was over, they'd be counting the number of kisses they'd shared by the dozens. Or at least, that was what Abby daydreamed about, as she came up to Jen's grandparents' house.

Things were getting desperate for Jen, when it came to making a final decision, as the minutes counted down way too fast to Abby's arrival and the talk, they were going to have. During that time, she kept going over what her options were in her head.

These were the five possible outcomes; she came up with:

1. She turns Abby down; Abby becomes mad at her and never talks to her again. In turn, this creates a rift in her friend group, that she'll have to unwillingly deal with for the rest of high school. This would be the worst-case scenario.

2. She gives in to Abby's pleas and they start a relationship, that's doomed from the start, because she's still in love with Pacey and is on top of that feeling pretty sure, that she isn't ready to do more with Abby right now, than the one kiss they'd shared. Because of herself not being able to fake it, they soon after break up and once again, Abby hates her and as a minimum, doesn't talk to her for a long while afterwards. This, Jen considered to be the second-worst scenario.

3. She turns Abby down, Abby leaves without saying a word and things are weird between them for a month or two, until they eventually start talking again. While she would rather avoid this happening, it was still a better outcome than any of the worst-case scenarios.

4. Abby becomes mad at her for not liking her back but hides it and slightly resents her in silence for a period of time, until she eventually gets over it, when she finds a real girlfriend. This one, Jen considered to be the most likely scenario.

5. Abby is fine with it, admitting that she isn't ready for more either, they hug it out and are able to laugh about it afterwards. Maybe in time, when they're both older and much readier for it, they can give it another try, but that part is optional and in Jen's mind, not nearly on the same level of importance as the two of them remaining friends.

While she was thinking about it, she kept a lookout through her window for Abby, who would probably be dressed in the same kind of work t-shirt, she'd seen Joey in dozens of times. From what she could see in the darkness of the evening, it was Bessie (probably on her way home, to relieve Joey of her duties as babysitter for Alexander), who dropped Abby off in front of their house. As her friend walked up to it, Jen felt her heart start to race faster and the nervousness growing inside at the very core of her being.

Abby hated uncomfortable silences and the one she had with Jen's grandmother, while they were waiting for Jen to come down, felt like it lasted an eternity. The old lady seemed nice enough, if more than a bit on the boring side to her and as it usually was, she never knew what to talk to old people about. "What do old people think about?", she'd just begun thinking to herself, as the welcome sound of footsteps came from Jen's room upstairs.

After grabbing a glass of Jen's grandmother's homemade peach iced tea (a drink that she would easily put up as one the best beverages, she'd ever tasted) to bring upstairs, they'd quickly gotten cozy, once they got up to Jen's room. Still not cozy in the way that Abby wanted them to, but cozy none the less.

"So, how was your first day the Icehouse?" Jen asked, before nervously taking a sip from her glass.

"Kind of cool, actually! It was busy for most of the time, I made over eighty bucks in tips and I'm pretty sure that I had some boy hit on me. He was too young for me, but it doesn't hurt to get a confidence boost like that once in a while" Abby gladly explained.

"Before we know it, you'll start to turn into an independent young woman, who doesn't need charity from others or the help of her parents, in order to get by in the world".

"Wouldn't that be all kinds of awesome? What about you? I'm guessing that you don't plan on hanging out around here any longer, than you have to, after you graduate?"

"First I have to pass my sophomore year, which considering the lousy grades I brought with me from New York, isn't a given yet. After high school ends, I guess I'll be going to college somewhere like Boston or one of the other big cities on the east coast. New York has great colleges too, but it also has my parents living there, so ..." Jen's sentence trailed off, without her knowing how to finish it. As it did, a thought began to build in Abby's mind. A thought, that hadn't been there before, when it had still been clouded from the rush of that magical kiss on the way home from Chris Wolfe's party.

"You're pretty sure that you're going to college, then?" she asked.

"If I don't, then I don't see how I'll ever get back on my parents' good graces. I want to get an education too, so that I don't have to take whatever untrained job, I can get. Don't you, too?"

"Only if I can get one, without having to spend any more time in school, than I absolutely have to! Here I thought that we both hated school and you're telling me, that you actually want to voluntarily sign up for more of it, when you could be done and no one says that you have to?" she had to ask, considering how crazy it sounded in her own ears.

"I don't like school as such, but it isn't like I hate it or anything. As insane as it sounds, I think I might end up missing it a little, when it's over".

"That does sound insane, you're right on that point!"

"I mean, think about it. At school, I get to hang out with you every day and once it's over, we won't get to do that as much anymore. That's if we'll get to do it at all, should we end up living in different places. Not to sound like I'm "Miss Needy Girl" here, but I'd like to think that you feel the same way, when it comes to how much you'll miss me" Jen said from the heart and like a natural reflex, Abby felt like she had to comfort her, by saying something nice back.

"You know that I will! Jen, Pacey is a good friend too, but he's a boy and even in the unlikely event that me and Joey end up becoming like sisters, there'll always be a special place in my heart for you! Which is also why I think that we should try to put our kiss behind us and just stay friends".

Jen could barely believe her luck, when she'd heard what Abby had just said and from what she guessed, wasn't doing the best job of hiding her enormous amount of relief.

"Abby, I've been thinking the same thing. It was a really nice kiss and I'm really glad, not to mention a little proud, that it was so great for you. I'm just ..."

"Not ready for it to become more than that. Jen, it's okay, that you aren't!"

"You're not mad at me at all?" Jen shyly asked and clearly now Abby felt, like she had to be the reassuring party here.

"I wouldn't get mad at you over something like that! Listen, it was an awesome kiss and something I won't ever forget, but I'd infinitely rather that you're honest with me like this, than see you do anything else, you could have done in this situation".

"Plus, there's the whole question of how a break-up would affect our friendship. I know that it sounds immensely corny for me to say so, but I'd far rather have you as my friend for a lifetime, than have you as my lover for a month, or even a year or two" Jen sweetly told her, instantly making the loving vibes between them, grow to ceiling shattering levels.

"When you say it that way, it doesn't sound all that bad! Do you really think we have the sort of friendship, that'll last forever and ever?"

"As long as we don't let romantic entanglements come between us, I think, it will. Are there any dangers of that, she asked slyly, trying to covertly find out if her friend still likes boys or not?" Jen joked and it brought a small smile to Abby's face.

"You can just ask me straight out, as long as I get to ask you one question. And you have to tell me the truth" Abby dared her.

"I guess, that's fine with me. Do you still find boys attractive, or is it all girls for you from here on out?"

"I can still look at a guy and think that he's attractive, I just don't want to hook up with any of them. At least, as far as the boys, I've met so far goes".

"So, you're gay, just not entirely sure if there isn't a little bit of bi-sexual in you?"

"Or in other words: Every shrink's wet dream, if I wasn't already thanks to how my parents screwed up with me!"

"Are you ready to say, have a girlfriend?"

"Perhaps. I'm ready to give it a try, if I by some miracle manage to find the right girl for the job around these parts. That was more than one question, so now it's my turn. Are you, or are you not, in love with Pacey Witter?"

Of course, Abby had to ask the one question, Jen didn't feel like answering.

"The truth?" Jen asked back, looking like she was so ashamed of her feelings for Joey's boyfriend, that she didn't want to say the words out loud.

"You are, aren't you?"

"I don't want to be. You can't tell him or Joey anything!" Jen pleadingly asked of her, while staring a hole through Abby's eyes, directly to her soul.

"Of course, I won't!" Abby reassured her friend.

In Abby's head though, a plan was beginning to form. A plan, that if it came to fruition would turn out with a best-case scenario ending for everyone. It included a whole lot of ifs and if you calculated the odds on it, it would seem like insanity to even try it. The more she considered it throughout the rest of the evening however, the more it began to seem do-able.

After they'd hugged goodnight and Abby had begun to make her way home, Jen pinched her own arm just to make sure that it wasn't all a dream, these past few (very enjoyable) hours that she'd spent in Abby's delightful company. Even in her most positive thoughts leading up to this dreaded day, she hadn't expected Abby to both bring it up and be the one, who said that she wanted to just remain friends.

Jen had plenty of problems in her life and her love life was still one huge mess, but for the rest of that evening at least, it felt like her chaotic life was a little more in order, than she usually felt it was. Now, she only had the very long list of other things holding her back in her life, to deal with.

Abby had left Jen's just in time to catch Pacey at "Screen Time", before they closed at nine o'clock. When she came into the store, he was just finishing up watching "Say Anything", from what she could tell.

"Sorry, Abby. I've already closed up the hardcore porn section for the evening" he quickly joked.

"I'm sure that you can tell me, which of the movies in there are worth watching!" she fired back at him.

"A good salesman has to know his product, doesn't he? I'm just about to close up, so if you want to rent a movie, I suggest you be fast about it" he told her, before shutting the movie off and setting the tape to rewind.

"That's not why I'm here. Pacey, there's something important that Joey hasn't told you. Something, you should know" she tentatively said and quickly got his undivided attention.

"And how would you know about this, when I don't?"

"I overheard Bessie and Bodie talking and afterwards, Bessie explained the whole situation to me. Did you know about Joey's connections to France?" she asked, making him look a bit puzzled.

"I know that she speaks French fluently and that her mom studied there years ago. Why do you ask?"

"Because she's been offered the chance to go there on a kind of free student exchange scholarship thing, for the entirety of the next semester. I know, I didn't say it the best or the correct way, but you get what I mean!" she told him, and it would be a minute or two, until the shock had worn off enough for him to respond.

"Why wouldn't she tell me?" he finally asked her.

"She's blinded by her love for you, Pacey. More than that, she's obviously scared out of her mind of losing what she has with you. It isn't my decision what you should do, but from what Bessie has told me, this has been a dream of hers since she was a kid. You don't want to be the one, who takes that dream away from her, do you?"

Joey wouldn't have wanted her to do this, that much she was sure of. Then again, if it all worked out in the end like she'd planned and Joey would both get her adventure of a lifetime and get her beloved Pacey back, once she came back home again, wouldn't this be just about the nicest thing, she ever could have done to repay what Joey had done for her?

After her talk with Pacey, she walked home (a brisk three-mile hike) and as she did, a philosophical question filled her mind. Is honesty always the best policy? In the past, she'd seen lying as a necessary evil, but was it really? If she'd been honest about how bad it was at home to those, who cared about her, she would have gotten help a lot sooner and perhaps, it would have been the badly needed wake-up call that her mom needed. With any luck, it would have been the trigger for her mom realizing, that she had a serious drinking problem and wouldn't be on the verge of going to jail, as a direct consequence of it. Of course, no one could say for sure if that's how it would have turned out, but it would have been better than how it did, that much was for sure. Who knows if her parents wouldn't still be together, if they'd only been more honest with one another and hadn't allowed unspoken things to fester, until it led to an inevitable divorce?

The things that she did now, would no doubt lead to some hurt feelings here and there in the short scope of things. In the end though, it would turn out better for everyone involved and if she had to be the one, who forced her closest friends to start being honest with one another, then it was a price, she was willing to pay. Joey and Pacey, for as great as a couple as they were, would have in all likelihood broken up anyway, once Joey began to find herself if not hating, then at least not liking him as much as she did now, for being the reason why she hadn't chased her dream when she had the chance to. Jen, she was even more worried about and if Jen never talked to Pacey about her feelings for him, Abby could only guess that it would lead to her doing the same things again, that had brought her so much trouble, back before they became friends. Being a good friend is one thing and an important thing too, but you can't keep something that big bottled up forever, without your mind eventually having some kind of negative reaction to it. Even if it wouldn't lead to Pacey and Jen becoming a hot couple, he still deserved to know exactly what his options were, at least as far as she saw it.

Joey was the only one, who was still up, when she came back to her temporary home. Not that it surprised her, since she knew that Bessie and Bodie tended to use whichever chance to catch up on their sleep, that they had to.

"Don't you get enough of school in you know, actual school?" Abby had to ask Joey jokingly at the sight of Joey's schoolbooks strewn across the living room coffee table and the way Joey had her head figuratively buried in them.

"Asks the girl, who's proud of her D-plus average, I'm sure" Joey fired back, without a glance back at her.

"Touché! Is this what you've been doing all evening long?" she asked, as she took a seat in one of their comfy chairs and took a load off.

"I had to wait until Alexander went to sleep, before I could get properly started on my mountain of homework. How was your evening?"

"Interesting, to say the least!"

"Interesting how?"

"Well, for one thing I had a long talk with Jen. I don't know if she told you, but we had a little smooching session, on the way home from Chris Wolfe's party" she said bluntly, catching Joey full attention by doing so.

"Actually, she sort of did. I just ..."

"Didn't want me to know, so Jen wouldn't look bad for having told you. That's the problem with you and your friends, you're never honest with one another, when you should be!" Abby made Joey bat an eye by saying.

"No one ever claimed that we were anything close to perfect".

"I'm fine with Jen telling you! Just like I'm fine with her and I having decided that it's better, if we continue on solely as friends. And you know why I am? Because we were being one hundred percent honest with each other! Like we all should be more of the time, if you ask me" she said, hoping that it would hit home with Joey. From the looks of it, it did as well.

"Yeah, but you can't be honest all of the time. People could get hurt or it could lead to trouble being stirred up. No one wants that!" Joey stated, as if trying to make herself believe that it was true.

"Why not, if everyone ends up winning by not having to lie anymore at the end of it? Now, it's like Jen and I can start fresh without any secrets holding us down and I'll be the first to tell you, that it feels awesome! You should try it too".

"No secrets at all? Somehow, I'm finding that a little hard to believe".

"I know things about her now, I'm guessing that you don't".

"Name one" Joey dared her, without knowing that she'd just given Abby a perfect opening to spill perhaps the biggest secret of them all.

"Did you know that she's in love with someone?" Abby slyly asked and from the look on Joey's face, this was fresh off the press news to her.

"With whom?"

"The one guy around here, that she can't tell you about her feelings for. I don't need to spell it out any further than that, do I?"

Going by Joey's facial expression, she clearly didn't.

END OF CHAPTER FIFTEEN

Chapter Text

"I'm just a symptom of my time,

Just a victim of my mind

Turning deaf and dumb and blind

'Cause I need to

I'm inescapably obsessed with the thoughts I have repressed

How I look when I'm undressed to receive you

Why do you think your love could ever change me?

Why?

You don't know anything about me baby"

MARIE FRANK (From the album "Ancient Pleasures" (1999))

Joey didn't feel like getting out of bed this Saturday morning. Lying on that soft mattress with the covers over her, her head gently resting on a soft pillow and still trying to clear the drowsiness from sleeping from her mind, the world was simple and didn't involve herself having to make any possible life-changing decisions. Outside of it, she knew that a world of issues awaited her and not only because this was the day of the "Miss Windjammer Contest" (a day that she'd secretly been dreading since she first got the idea to enter, after she'd heard about the five grand in prize money for first place).

She felt as prepared for it, as she would ever feel and had to admit to herself, that she looked pretty damn fine in that long black dress, she'd borrowed and would be wearing for the competition that evening. Such a thing wasn't easy for her to admit and looking as feminine as she did in it, was still a brand-new feeling to get used to for a girl, who growing up had always preferred to be seen as "one of the boys". To her younger self, whenever she would be on the playground, it had been a natural thing that she would leave the other girls to do their thing, while she happily played with the boys and pretended to as if by second nature, that there was no difference at all between herself and them.

These days though, she sometimes envied the other girls at school for how easy it was for them to be like "Little Women" (which ironically enough, was also Joey's favorite book), when she still felt like "Being a Young Woman" was an act that she needed to put on, whenever she was faced with a situation that required it. All of her friends (plus Bessie and Bodie countless times) had told her, that all she had to do was be herself and the judges would love her for it, but she would still need to keep up somewhat of a girly act in front of them. Doing this, when there was so much more going on right now, that none of them knew all there was to know about, might not be as easy for her as those who knew her, walked around thinking it would be. France or Pacey? By Monday at the latest, she would have to give them her final decision or that scholarship would go to someone else. Worst of all, she still hadn't come any closer to making a decision, than she was the first time, she'd had to think these things over.

In a turn of fate, that she couldn't ever have predicted a few weeks earlier, Abby had begun to take over as the one, she could talk to without having to hide anything. Sure, she could talk to Bessie about most things, but if she told Bessie about what had happened between herself and Pacey in the "Screen Time" storeroom, there was a solid chance that Bessie would personally put her on that plane to France, just to put some distance between her little sister and a possible looming teen pregnancy. Bodie would be cool with it, but it wasn't the sort of thing that she wanted to tell him, and she preferred it (like she could easily guess that he also did in return) if he was kept on a "Need to Know Basis", as far as the finer and most intricate details of her personal life went.

Pacey, she still hadn't said a word to about France, something that at first hadn't been an issue to her, seeing as she'd been able to keep telling herself that she had plenty of time to work up the courage to do it, but it was now with every day making her conscience grow guiltier. She could only imagine, how she would have reacted if he'd turned up one day and said "Oh, by the way, I forgot to tell you that in a few days, I'll be leaving Capeside to live in another country for the next half a year, and we won't be seeing one another for all of that time. I had a world of chances to tell you, but I didn't because I was too scared, that you'd break up with me, when you found out. Sorry! I'll see you in six months' time!". The way things were looking now, she was seriously afraid that it could end up being the nail in the coffin on their relationship, even if she didn't leave and stayed here. Had it been the other way around and it had been him, who'd been keeping something this enormous in his life from her for so long, she knew that she would have felt betrayed by him. In turn, it would have led to her having to ask herself some serious questions, as to if this was a relationship she still should be in or not, when he clearly trusted her so infinitely little, that he wouldn't share something like this with the one, he was supposed to be in love with. Only, she did love him and she had wanted to tell him, she'd just never gotten around to it, when it came to that whole being brave thing.

Then, there was the question of Jen. Now that she knew for sure about Jen having a crush on Pacey, little moments between them over the past months had begun playing back in her head on a regular basis. Every time Jen had talked Pacey up almost to extremes for example, which had happened so many times these past weeks, that she now felt like she was blind not to have seen that Jen had a crush on him, before Abby confirmed it for her. Or all of the times, when Jen's eyes had lingered on him more than a little too long or she'd laughed out far too loud, when he'd come up with a lame one-liner on the fly, that wasn't nearly good enough to warrant that kind of response. Another thing she'd noticed lately, was how Pacey would laugh along to her laugh almost all of the time, just like he did with herself. A song, or rather one of only two parts she remembered the lyrics of to this particular song (the other part being the chorus) would often start playing in her head, either before or after she had one of these flashbacks. It was that old Bonnie Raitt song "Something to Talk About".

"We laugh just a little too loud

Stand just a little too close

We stare just a little too long

Maybe they're seeing, something we don't, Darling".

As sick as she was becoming over it having played on repeat in her brain for the past days, its words made her raise some questions within her mind. Say that she was to leave for France, like she'd been leaning towards doing ever since the opportunity had presented itself, would it be fair on Pacey, considering that they'd still only been a couple for a few months, for her to ask him, to wait for her for that long? Especially, if the perfect substitute for herself had been right under his nose all of this time?

It was with these thoughts and a Bonnie Raitt soundtrack to match it, running through her brain, that she finally got enough of it to get out of bed, where what was sure to be a memorable day awaited her.

With his dad having found an apartment of his own, very conveniently located practically right across the street from the police station, it also meant that it had become the morning for "The Great Big Clear-Out", as he'd named it in his mind, in the Witter house with his parents having to settle out, who of them got which. That part he'd been dreading for days, but thankfully with them still not being ready to see one another again, this had been taken care of with a very brief phone call the evening before. As a result of this, Pacey and Doug were going through what was now officially their mom's house, with a list of the things their dad had been given in the "Settlement". Most of the time, Pacey didn't help out more around the house than he had to, but with Joey having been on his mind constantly for the past week, it also made for a nice distraction before he would have to deal with his girlfriend troubles head on, when he spent the rest of the day afterwards with her at the "Miss Windjammer Contest".

"You're a lot quieter than usual today, Pacey. Where are the lame jokes or insinuations that I'm gay? Which I'm not, by the way!" Doug asked him, while they were helping one another with carrying down their former living room sofa from the attic, to be put into the delivery van parked outside, that their dad had borrowed from a helpful townsman for the occasion.

"It's hard to come up with jokes, when you're trying your hardest not to lose your balance on these steps and end up with a broken frigging neck!" he quipped back and wasn't lying either. Any wrong step by either of them and the consequence would be a rapid and unwanted trip to "Pain City", for the one holding the downwards facing end, as in himself.

"It's very convenient how dad has an excuse not to be the one doing this shitty heavy lifting, isn't it? Oh well, as long as I get my home back, I'm all dandy" Doug told him and Pacey knew that his brother wasn't kidding, when he said so.

"You're "All Dandy"? Which Streisand movie did you get that Metrosexual phrase from? Don't tell me, let me guess first! It was "Cabaret" wasn't it? I always had a sneaking suspicion, that one would be your favorite! With those fancy costumes and your personal heroine and idol Babs singing jolly old showtunes and all of that" Pacey jokingly asked, getting an eyeroll from Doug in response.

"Now, I recognize my little brother again! Just so you know, Streisand wasn't the starring actor in "Cabaret", it was Liza Minelli. Streisand wasn't even in it".

"Ah, my apologies! I should have known that it was your other personal heroine and idol! Or would that spot be reserved for Cher, I wonder?"

"Lay off it, Pace!" Doug annoyedly responded and they didn't resume the conversation, until the sofa was placed safely into the delivery van, that had "Walcott Constuction - You Ask For it and We'll Build it" written on its side panels.

"That's the worst of it over with. All we have left is to load up the last boxes and drive all of this over to dad's new place, where we get to carry all of it up two flights of stairs! Doesn't that make you want to thank the higher powers for being born into this family?" Doug sarcastically joked, as they shared a wry smile.

"As if the utter joy of our parents getting divorced wasn't enough already! Believe it or not, this is the easy part of the day, as far as I'm concerned" he confided in his older brother.

"What are you talking about? You can't tell me that as a guy your age, getting to see all of those pretty girls your own age all dolled up to look their best, doesn't lighten up your day more than usual".

"It would have, if I didn't have enough problems with them already, to last me at least until the end of high school!".

"No one said that the whole growing up thing would be easy, did they?"

"No, but this part sure wasn't in the brochure!"

"Which part would that be?" Doug asked, now looking a little concerned. For all of their differences, Pacey knew that his brother could keep a secret and wanted the best for him. Maybe, this was why he decided to finally confess it all to someone, like he couldn't with Dawson, whom he was sure would end up telling Joey, or with anyone else, for that matter. His present company at that moment excluded.

"Can I ask you something, hypothetically speaking?"

"If you do, I'll give you my best hypothetical answer".

"Say that you were involved with someone. Like, romantically involved and this girl has been keeping something from you, that you just found out about".

"Is this about Joey cheating on you? I never would have thought, she'd do something like that".

"She hasn't cheated on me ... oh, what the hell! I'll just tell you how it is! She's been offered a scholarship to study for free in France for the next semester and from the times I've spoken to her about France and the links it has to her family, I know that she really wants to try what it's like to live there and to take advantage of an opportunity like this, that we both know all too well, won't come around twice" he said honestly this time, getting a friendly nod in response from Doug.

"So? You're ready to wait for her for that long, aren't you?" his brother asked him.

"Do you think that she's said a word to me, you know, her boyfriend? She's known about this for weeks and she hasn't mentioned it to me at all! I had to find out from a closely linked third party in all of this, or I wouldn't have known a word of it" he explained, doing little to hide the frustration in his voice when doing so.

"I can easily guess why. She's a young girl in love for the first time and she's afraid of losing that love again. Even if she's been a tomboy for all of the years you've known her, she's still going to be like all other girls her age in some ways. You can't be mad at her over that".

"I'm not, it's just ... if she'd trusted me with all of her heart, like she's been saying that she does, don't you think she would have confided it to me, anyway? I know that I'm still new to this whole dating game scene, it just feels like she's been saying one thing and doing the other, you know?" he asked his brother, who looked like he to some extent understood, at least.

"It's hard to say. What does your gut tell you?"

"It tells me that she needs to do this and that she probably has other things, she hasn't been telling me about either, that I now wish, I knew. It's driving me crazy, Doug!" he said earnestly, before continuing with his van side confessional. "Then, there's this other girl. You remember Joey's friend Jen, right? Well ..."

"Does Jen like you back?" Doug interrupted by asking, before he could finish with where he was going.

"Let me say one thing first, my dear and obviously closeted older brother! I would never in a lifetime or counting on top of that the next many lifetimes, do that to Joey! She's never had it easy, when it comes to making friends with girls and it had become like a trauma to her after what happened with Melissa, that she was afraid to make close friends with one again. Now, that she finally has someone like Jen, who's that special to her and can be everything for her that me and Dawson can't because of the gender, we were born into, I would have to be the biggest A-Hole in the entire universe to do anything, that gets between those girls! If I did, I'm sure that it would hound me forever, like a guilty memory of romances past, that'll lead to me seeking out misery and pain for the rest of my life, to atone for it until I eventually perish in a pit of my own despair! Jen needs Joey just as badly back, it's not just a one-way thing. If she hadn't had Joey to honestly talk to about the things that are going on in her life, I sincerely doubt that she'd be doing anywhere close to as well, as she is starting to do here".

"If that's the case, why am I sensing a but? Or rather in this instance, yours and Jen's, sitting side by side and rubbed up all too tightly against each other?"

"I've been suspecting that she likes me for a while, I just wasn't sure until we spent an afternoon and evening alone together, a few weeks ago. She didn't tell me in so many words and I can't say that I've been the best when it comes to reading girl signals, but I know a look of pure infatuation, when I see it. She looked precisely like Gretchen did, back when she was in love for the first time, with that long-haired guy that dad couldn't stand the sight of".

"I remember the smile, she had glued to her face for those couple of weeks, before mom and dad forced her to break up with him, or they'd kick her out of the house. And you like Jen too?"

"When she first got here, I gave first crack at her to Dawson without thinking about it and now, I'm starting to think that I shouldn't have given up so easily. If it hadn't been for Joey getting there first, Jen would have been an easy second choice, after her and Dawson predictably didn't end up going anywhere beyond a few puppy love kisses. She's sweet and warm like Joey is too, and she's feminine, in all of the ways that Joey isn't, but still hitting that perfect level, where she isn't being over the top either. Even if we grew up in radically different places, we have a lot in common, when it comes to how we've lived so far. She's so easy to talk to that it's like she's a "Joey - Part 2" in that way, even for a guy like me who's shown himself to sometimes be infamously bad at talking to girls and just like it is with Joey, she's incredibly beautiful without being aware of it. You know, I'm starting to think that could be a turn-on for me?" he quipped, possibly out of feeling a need to downplay his problems and ease the tension of the current situation in his mind.

"Every guy has their thing, I suppose. Look, there isn't a textbook to tell you how to deal with these things, so all you can do is follow what your mind and your gut tell you".

"Right now, my gut is telling me that we should grab a sandwich for the road!" he joked, before the two of them got back to work. While they worked, he kept trying without luck to make up his mind on what to do about the "Joey and Jen" situation.

"Joey, I have to tell you something and I don't want you to be upset. It's just that I'm sort of ... in love with your boyfriend! That was terrible!" Jen scowled after yet another failed practice run in the mirror in her room, for how she was going to tell Joey about her feelings for Pacey. She wanted to tell him too, but she had to be honest with Joey first, before she got that far.

It had been a little over a week since she'd had her big talk with Abby and out of it had come an unexpected present or hate gift, whichever way you wanted to look at it. It had made her realize that in order to move on from this unlucky crush, she would have to be honest about it to Joey at the least. The alternative, this feeling of anxiety constantly building up inside of her whenever her and Joey talked now, would probably lead to the end of their friendship either way and she'd already begun subconsciously to avoid Joey at school, when she could. She knew this wasn't a good sign and if their friendship had to have run its course, then she would rather prefer it to end on an honest note, than with the reasons left unspoken between them.

She didn't plan on doing it on this day though, not with Joey already having the "Miss Windjammer Contest" to worry about. It could end up being fun too and for herself, good therapy for getting over being forced entered into so many of them by her mom, when she was still little and rather adorable to look at, if did have to say so herself. At first, it had seemed like it was fun and after she'd won her first contest, her mom had taken her out to a fancy dinner. It had been one of the few super enjoyable days they'd spent together, from what she could remember. When she'd only come in third in her next contest, there hadn't been a word spoken between them for the rest of the day and after her last contest, where she came last because she clearly hadn't wanted to be there and didn't care one bit where she wound up finishing, her mom had grounded her for two weeks. Jen had become so angry over this unfair punishment, that she hadn't said a word to her mom for the duration of her grounding and the next few weeks afterwards.

It was pre-Joey memories like those, that made it all the harder to be truthful with her friend, when it came to her feelings about Pacey. Joey represented many of the best parts in this fresh start, she'd been fortunate enough to have been given and for all in the world, she wanted them to be able to stay friends after the truth had come out. Telling Pacey was a different kind of beast altogether and whether she should or not, was still a debate being played out on a regular basis in her mind. Perhaps in time, should Joey and Pacey break up and both of them happened to be available at the same time, then she would tell him about this enormous, unlucky crush on him that she'd had ages ago, but couldn't do anything about thanks to him dating Joey. He would then act all in shock and it would lead to her after so long, finally getting to do the things, that she was regularly fantasizing about doing with him these days.

All of that was speculation over something that might never happen, though. Today, in the real world, she had both a beauty contest and an entirely unlucky crush to deal with.

END OF CHAPTER SIXTEEN

Chapter Text

"Deeply dippy 'bout the way you walk

A contact sport

Let the neighbours talk

Deeply dippy, I'm your Superman

I'll explain

You're my Lois Lane

Oh, my love

I can't make head nor tail of passion

Oh, my love

Let's set sail for seas of passion now"

RIGHT SAID FRED (From the album "Up" (1992))

"What's with the smug grin?" Pacey asked Dawson, who'd had it plastered onto his face constantly, since hours before Pacey had come by to pick him up, so they could head down to the "Miss Windjammer" contest together. Pacey hadn't been the only one to notice it either and a few times, Dawson wound up having to come up with a lie to his mom, so as not to give away what himself and Mary-Beth had planned for that evening. Not that he didn't love his mom or knew that she would be happy for him but telling her about how he was planning to "Kiss-Wise De-Flower" his semi-girlfriend that evening, was a heartfelt Mother/Son moment that he felt zero need to try out for himself. However, when he'd asked Mary-Beth out for this evening, he'd also forgotten that this was the day of the beauty contest, which had meant a small change of plans. Although, not in the part that mattered the most to him.

"I'm ... just happy for Joey, that she's doing this. You know, I think it could be good for her self-confidence, even if she doesn't win".

"Could this be the day, where you and Mary-Beth plan on, after what can only be called "A Massively Extended Build-Up Period", sealing the deal with a kiss?" Pacey asked, with that cheeky smile, that also told Dawson that there was no reason to try to hide it.

"You aren't wrong, Pace. This one time!" he joked and his friend since childhood looked thrilled for him.

"Welcome to the club of kept men, Dawson! Or, in our case, kept boys! It's about time, you joined our ranks" Pacey quipped back and Dawson couldn't help being a little proud inside, that he'd even managed to get this far with a girl like Mary-Beth, whom you could almost tell yourself that it would take a lot of legwork with.

"I still have to get that one thing out of the way first, before I can say that it's official, don't I?"

"I'd call it the number one access requirement! Is that the way you see it, as something to get out of the way?" Pacey inquired.

"Both yes and no. I mean, on one hand, I'm looking forward to it not being such a big deal to her, that we have to stick to holding hands, as the furthest we'll get to".

"I'd call that understandable!"

"Then again, I'm also excited for it, like I don't remember having looked forward to anything in my life before. Even more than I did, when it was with Jen. It's like, this feels like it's the real thing, where that whole thing with Jen was more like ... a teenage fantasy come true. As great as it felt and as beautiful as she looked that day, I didn't know her like I do Mary-Beth now".

"It just wasn't the same, as when it's the real thing. Trust me, Dawson. I get what you mean and when you try for yourself, what's it like to kiss a girl you have real, deep feelings for, you'll learn more about love in that moment, than you could sitting through every second of the entire Spielberg filmography" Pacey practically finished Dawson's thought with, and they nodded understandingly at one another.

"If any couple around these parts have it made right now, it's you and Joey. I have to admit that I wasn't entirely sure, if you'd make it this long with all of those years of bickering, you had behind you. I could have easily seen your first fight leading to a break-up and you two not being on speaking terms for months afterwards".

"That makes two of us and believe me, being the boyfriend of one Josephine Potter isn't a dance on roses all of the time! Which is a very dumb saying, especially if you're planning on dancing on them in socks or your bare feet, by the way. Right now, though, I can't say that it doesn't a little bit sum up my feelings on the subject" Pacey stated and immediately, Dawson couldn't help worrying over what was going on with his two oldest friends.

"If there's anything, you want to talk about, you know that you can with me, right?"

"You'll find out about all of it before long. Well, maybe not all of it! I'm sure that you don't want to hear about the most intimate things, we've done".

"Not until I can say that I've gotten further with a girl, than you have" Dawson joked, but Pacey didn't look like he felt like smiling, or answering any more questions about himself and Joey, for that matter.

"A worrying sign, if there ever was one" Dawson thought to himself.

When Joey had gotten to the Capeside Yacht Club (that on this day served as the site of the "Miss Windjammer" contest), she'd still had her head filled with lots of worries over things like telling Pacey about France and how do deal with her best friend having a crush on him in the right way, that wouldn't lead to their friendship coming to an end. As she looked out over her competition however, there was only one thought that spread like a fast-moving Cancer throughout her mind.

"How were you ever stupid enough to fool yourself into thinking, that you could have actually won this thing?" was that thought and the way she was feeling so far below them, had her thinking that if she avoided the humiliation of finishing dead last, then she could call it a success.

For one thing, these girls that she was up against were the exact opposite of herself, at least in the way they carried themselves. They looked like confident young women, who were ready to take on the world and in comparison, to them, she felt like a kid who'd wandered in there by mistake. She certainly didn't feel like someone, who would be competing against them in a contest of personality, talent and beauty, before the day was over.

"Joey! I wasn't expecting to see you entering this thing!" Dawson's mom Gail, who she knew was among the judges and for that reason, had forbidden him from telling his parents that she was entering the contest, came over to her and said with a welcoming smile.

"I'm also scouring the fire exits, in case I make a total fool of myself, the shame becomes too much, and I have to make a run for it!" she joked dryly, which got a small laugh out of Gail.

"You'll do fine! Are you here by yourself?"

"No, Jen is here with me, but she's in the girl's room right now. Pacey and Dawson should be here soon".

"My son, actually taking an interest in something that goes on in his hometown? I'll have to check if he's ill, when he gets here!" Gail quipped and it made Joey have to smile to herself. "Joey, I know that I shouldn't pry, but you know that he wouldn't tell me anything, if his life depended on it".

"You want to know what's going on between him and Mary-Beth, don't you?"

"It's just that she's over at our house practically every day and it makes a mom ask herself some questions, about what her little boy has been up to".

"Gail, it's Mary-Beth and Dawson, we're talking about here! If I had to guess, seeing as he doesn't tell me all that much more these days, than he tells you, I'd say that they're still keeping it very PG".

"And that's "Teen-Speak" for?"

"Nothing, you need to worry your head with, for a long time to come" Joey told Gail, whom she could tell look a little relieved to hear so.

"By the way, I saw your old sidekick Mellissa here today. She's grown up to become a stunner! Not that you haven't too, dear. I just wouldn't have expected it as much with her, as I would have with you" Gail said, bringing up the number one topic, that Joey never, ever felt like talking about!

"If you say so" was all she replied, trying to close the subject as fast as she could.

"Whatever happened between you two? You used to be so thick as thieves, that I remember it making my son a little jealous sometimes, that him and Pacey weren't allowed to be a part of it" Gail asked, without knowing that it brought up memories within Joey, she'd buried deeply in the back of her mind over the past two years.

"I found out what she's really like, when she stuck a knife in my back. If you don't mind, I prefer to pretend like she doesn't exist" Joey replied, while wondering to herself what on earth was keeping Jen this long.

Jen would be the first to admit, that she had a severe case of aversion towards cheerleaders. I was most likely brought on by her mother's biggest glory days being her time as a Knicks cheerleader in the early 80's, itself a culmination of years of hard work going back to gymnastics classes in her mom's early childhood. Since her mom had little else to hang her hat on, as far as any major achievements in her life went, she'd also tried her hardest to pass it on to Jen, whether her daughter wanted to or not. While Jen was quite aware, that it wasn't right of her to judge all of the cheerleaders in the world based on the actions of a sad and pathetic woman, who'd unfortunately also had close to absolute power over herself for by far the majority of her life so far, it wasn't like the ones she'd taken the time to talk with had done much to endear themselves to her. When Pacey had told her the "Mellissa and Joey" story, it hadn't surprised her too much then, to find out that the opposing party to her close friend was one of them.

Since that day though, she'd begun secretly studying Melissa from afar and from what she could tell, Melissa seemed like an almost too sugary-sweet, nice girl, one of those girls who would no doubt be every mother's dream hook-up for their teenage son. She was always among the first to volunteer whenever there was a community project to help the needy in town (of which there were far more in Capeside than you'd think, when you looked at the pretty painting, they so successfully presented to the rest of the world), and top of being a cheerleader, was on the debate team and their rather successful quiz team (the only one of Capeside High's teams, who could brag that they'd regularly won anything over the past many years).

As she studied her, an idea also began to pop up in her head. What if she could soften the blow of herself liking Pacey, by mending the long-lost Joey and Melissa friendship? It had just been a fleeting thought, that would make an appearance now and again in her mind, before she found herself in this situation (being alone with Melissa in the girl's room) and it was Melissa, who started talking to her.

"I see that you and Joey have become friends" Melissa said shyly, while they washed their hands next to each other. "I know don't know if she's told you anything, but we used to be really close. Until I completely messed it all up".

"I haven't heard anything from Joey, but Pacey told me" Jen answered her and could see a small smile creep across Joey's supposed enemy's face.

"I always had a feeling about those two, probably longer ago than any of them did. Anyway, I'm just glad to see that she's doing so great, after all of those terrible things she went through with her parents. Don't think that it hasn't been on my guilty conscience ever since, how our friendship came to an end, but with her having sworn never to talk to me again, in those exact words, I can't even tell her and try to make things right with her" Melissa sadly explained.

"Why did you do those things? Melissa, I've done some rotten stuff in my life already. Stuff that would it send shivers down your spine just to be told about, but I would still never sink so low as to kick a friend in the head like that, while they were already on the ground and pleading for my help, to get them up on their feet again".

"You don't know what it was like! It wasn't just Joey that the other kids started avoiding. I got the cold shoulder from them, almost as badly as she did. Jen, I was a very insecure thirteen-year-old already and unlike for Joey, whose sister allowed her to stay home and have her assignments brought to her until things began to cool down, my parents showed no mercy like that, and they made me go to school. Do you have any idea what it's like to be that age, being in school and feeling like no one wants you to be there?"

"I kind of do. My first days at Capeside High, it felt as if I was some kind of alien lifeform, sent there to spy on the human race, from the way most of them looked at me" Jen truthfully replied, as bad memories of her first days at Capeside High flooded back to her.

"I couldn't tell Joey, that it was thanks to her that I came home crying every day, because no one had talked to me all day, or how I'd had to sit alone at lunch and sometimes have food thrown at me".

"What about Dawson and Pacey? Weren't you friends with them too?"

"Only through Joey. Whenever she wasn't there, we hardly said a word to one another".

"Still, loneliness is one thing, but what you did ..."

"You've only felt a fraction of the hate, this hypocritical town is capable of throwing at someone. To make it even more unfair, I hadn't done the first thing to deserve it! All I'd done was make friends with a girl, that all of the other girls saw as being weird and called things like "Beanstalk" and "A Boy Named Joseph" behind her back. I did a really nice thing for her, and you have to admit, quite brave thing too by, as the only one of them, reaching out to her and being her friend and this was the thanks, I got for it? Being hated by everyone, who weren't my immediate family members? I shouldn't have done what I did, we don't need to argue about that. I'd still at least like it if she knew that they were the actions of a kid, who'd been pushed to the end of their rope, saw no other way out of their misery and was acting out of pure desperation. I happened to spill some lies to the worst girl, I could have told them to. By the time Joey came back, the whole thing had skyrocketed far out of my control and those few rumors, all of which I'd completely made up, had multiplied greatly in number since I told the first one, and they were all over the school. After we had a huge fight in front of an entire classroom of shocked faces, that was it for the friendship between us" Melissa sadly recounted to her.

Now that she had learned the truth, the idea of herself getting those two girls talking again also began to seem much more feasible to Jen, than it had just a minute earlier.

Pacey had come up with what he thought was a brilliant plan for how to get the truth out of Joey and now that he'd come up with such a great idea, he figured that he might as well get some fun out of this whole situation too. It relied on a technique, he's perfected on her throughout their childhood, whenever he could tell that there was something she wasn't telling him. To bug the living daylights out of her, until she gave up and told him whatever it was, that she was trying to hide from him. Since he didn't want her to get angry with him however, he had to tweak the plan a little.

"So, how do I look?" Joey asked him, while she was wearing that gorgeous black dress, that only made her look even more beautiful, than she already was.

"Like you could be one of DiCaprio's French girls from Titanic" he praised her, and it made her blush a little.

"You have to say that, because you're my boyfriend!" she joked through a sweet smile, and if there hadn't been people getting ready for the contest around them everywhere they looked, he would have given her a kiss to remember, right then and there.

"Do you know what I've been wondering?" he asked her.

"If ... you're getting that raise at "Screen Time"; you've been thinking about asking for?"

"Nope, although I've asked the owner and he's promised to get back to me on it".

"In that case ... I'm drawing a blank here, so just tell me".

"I was just wondering how you feel about travelling" he threw out there, making her look a little puzzled.

"I guess, it's something that I want to do".

"Because I can't ever see myself leaving the good old US of A. I mean, why would I, when everything I could ever want is right here?" he lied and her reaction to it, told him that he had her hooked now.

"You don't think that it could be a good learning experience for us, to experience what it's like in Europe, perhaps?"

"What could I possibly learn there, that I couldn't here? No, you'll never get me to set foot in England or France, for example. Why anyone ever would, I have no clue! What, with all of those snobby French people, who'll probably turn up their noses at an American like me!" he said, while trying to keep a smile back at Joey getting flustered over what she was hearing.

"That's very bigoted of you to say, Pacey! You don't know any French people, so you shouldn't judge them!"

"Ah, they're all the same! I bet that your mom hated it, back when she studied there!"

"As a matter of fact ..." Joey started, before it was like a lightbulb went off over her head.

"Do you know?" she asked him, now looking a little suspicious.

"Know what? I don't know anything, Joey! You should know that better than anyone!" he joked, as her suspicion started turning into a smile instead.

"Let me guess. It was Bessie, who told you, wasn't it?"

"It wasn't, but how I found out doesn't matter. Why didn't you tell me anything?" he asked her, while wishing that he'd chosen a more private spot, for a conversation of this nature.

"I was scared, okay? The more time that passed without me telling you, the surer I became that once you found out, you'd get mad and break up with me. I'm so crazy about you, Pacey, that you don't even know half of it and if we broke up now, it would feel like it was the end of the world to me" she whispered to him so sweetly, that there was no way, he could possibly get mad at her.

"Joey, if you think that's all it's going to take to make me give up on us, then I hate to tell you, but you really don't know me yet".

"We're talking half a year here and we still haven't reached out three-month anniversary yet. If you want to date other girls, while I'm gone, it's okay with me" she told him, in what was the most blatant lie, he'd perhaps ever seen.

"You're so full of it, Potter! Anyway, who would I go on a date with, in this "One Girl Worth Dating" kind of town?"

"There's Jen. She likes you, I'm pretty sure".

"I like Jen too, but not in that way and either way, you should know that I would never dream of doing anything, that could come between you and her. And don't tell me it won't, because thanks to yourself and Dawson, I've watched enough chick flicks at our movie nights together, to know that it will! Joey, you're everything to me and when you come back home to me again, I want us to pick up right where we left off" he told her and it was enough, that she couldn't help herself from kissing him, the strangers surrounding them be damned.

It was a conversation that he'd been dreading, since Abby had first told him about Joey and the scholarship in France. Now, that they'd finally had it, he had no idea what he'd been so worried over in the first place.

END OF CHAPTER SEVENTEEN

Chapter Text

"Goddess on the mountain top

Burning like a silver flame

The summit of beauty and love

And Venus was her name"

SHOCKING BLUE (Single from 1969 (made far more famous by Bananarama in 1986))

"It's just a few hours of your life and after this whole obnoxious celebration of outdated beauty ideals, that no normal thinking girl could, or for that matter, would ever want to live up to, you'll be five grand richer, have won yourself a trip to New York and you'll get to call yourself officially the prettiest girl in town. How does that sound?" Jen tried to reassure Joey, whom here a mere few minutes prior to the competition beginning, also looked a whole lot like she was about to make a run for it.

"Like you took a few tablespoons of "Who am I kidding?", added an ounce of "Yeah, right!", before you mixed them up into one big bowl, that was already nearly full of "Not in This Lifetime!" Joey sarcastically answered her. "I'll never win this thing! Even if we ignore the fact, that I look about as natural in this dress, as my long-deceased great-grandpa would have, you have lots of girls here, who fit infinitely better into what those stuck-up yacht club women think that a proper girl my age should be like. Hannah Von Wenning is in this contest!" Joey stated, as if that name should mean something to Jen.

"Who's she?" Jen had to ask, since she genuinely didn't know.

"We went to school with her, until her parents sent her off to some fancy boarding school in Connecticut. I'm sure that you've heard of the Von Wenning family, while you've lived here".

"Should I have?"

"It's no secret that they own over a quarter of the biggest businesses in town, including a large majority share of the sponsor of today's event, the Capeside Yacht Club. No one in their right mind out of those judges, would dare to vote against her. This thing is as rigged as ... a sail ship. Sorry, I couldn't come up with a better metaphor!" Joey apologizingly told her.

"You could still win second prize!" Jen tried to cheer her friend up by saying.

"A free day of beauty at "Betty's Hair Barn", also known as the birthplace of the worst haircuts, that used to roam the streets here in the 80's? FYI, I've had the same haircut since I was six and it suits me, so if you don't mind, I'll pass on getting the giant Whitney perm!"

"But you would be spreading laughter and joy to the children, everywhere you went! If that doesn't do wonders for your karma, I don't know what will!" Jen jokingly suggested, while trying to hold back a giggle.

"The last time I checked, my karma was on the up and up, so that's still a big, fat no! Why did I even bother with thinking, that I'll ever be more than an afterthought around here? Like everyone else in the Potter family, I was born to be a faceless nobody and that's just something, I'll have to live with" Joey defeatedly said, with the stench of failure already on her, long before it had any logical reason to be there. Seeing this, Jen knew that she had to spring to action with positive reinforcement of such enormity, that even a born cynic like Joey couldn't do anything to withstand its powers.

"Joey, you're not a nobody!" Jen said so assertively that it made Joey raise an eyebrow at it.

"I'm not?" Joey surprisedly replied.

"I'm the nobody here, out of the two of us! Seriously, I know like, ten people in this entire town, so if I'm not one, who is?" Jen stated, as Joey nodded along in agreement.

"Good point! I'll still never win!"

"Not with that attitude you won't, young lady!" Jen started, before having to stop herself for a moment. "Wow, I just had a flashback to myself with my mom at one of these things years ago!"

"It's the first sign! You're turning into her!" Joey teased.

"I'll be throwing myself off the Empire State Building, before I allow that to happen! She was right about one thing, though. Did I really just say that? Anyway, as the story goes, I was just like you, back when my mom first entered me into one of these things and I didn't think, I stood a chance of winning either. I still did and guess what?"

"You've spent every hour since trying to repress that memory?"

"It's one of the better ones, sad as it is to say so! Just like my mom said it would, it actually gave me a shot of self-esteem to win that thing and you! Yes, I'm talking to you, Miss Josephine Potter! Don't take this personally, but I've never met anyone, who needs one more than you do!" Jen said inspiringly and again, Joey nodded along in full agreement.

"Isn't that the sad truth?" Joey answered, like this wasn't news to her in any way.

"So, maybe you won't win or even come second or third, but this is your chance to show all of those rich snobs, that you aren't going to settle for just being some anonymous nobody, who gives up without putting up a fight first! I bet that there were plenty of boys, you knew growing up, who kept telling you that you couldn't do something, because you're a girl. Am I right?" Jen leadingly asked, knowing that if anything could bring up the fighter in her friend, it would be memories like those.

"It pretty much happened all the time" Joey answered.

"And what did you do in those situations?" Jen asked and could see the confidence slowly begin to creep up in Joey again.

"I showed all of them, that they were wrong! Well, except for this one time, where Pacey and I think it was Will, peed their names into the snow! I still tried, it just looked more like my name was "IO", spelled with a large I and a very small O. I ran out of pee too quickly".

"That's a story, you should never tell anyone again! Now, what are you going to do tonight?"

"I'm still not entirely opposed to my "Run and Hide" plan!"

"Do that and it's the same as saying that it's okay, if we let the Hannah Von Wenning's of the world cut ahead in line of girls like you, just because they happen to be born with the right DNA-strings and you weren't. Search your feelings, Joey! You know it to be true!" Jen encouraged her friend, while partly stealing a line from "Star Wars" in the process.

Stolen or not, the line seemed to work on Joey, who was soon after to be found on stage with the other contestants. What Joey didn't know of course, was that Jen had her own ulterior motive, when it came to getting Joey to stay in the contest.

Even if the "Windjammer Week" and especially, it's highlight "The Miss Windjammer Contest", was seen by many townspeople as one of the highlights on Capeside's yearly social calendar, this was only Pacey's second time attending the event. The first time had been when he was eleven and his then fifteen-year-old sister Gretchen had entered it, in a plan to add some much-needed (in her, at that age, somewhat rebellious teenage mind) feminism and "Screw You Attitude" to the contest. He'd made a bet with her over doing the other one's chores for a month, if she didn't have the guts to go through with it and knowing that it would surely make her lose her nerve, he'd brought out the big guns and gotten their grandparents to attend, along with their parents and Doug, of course.

All he could remember from the evening, was how immensely funny it had been to him to see his older sister sweating buckets up on that stage and all the while having the joy of knowing, that she'd be taking the garbage out and emptying the dishwasher instead of himself for the next month. Now however, as a red-blooded mid-teen boy with all of the (sometimes unwanted) hormonal "Flutters" that entails, watching it made for an entirely different viewing experience! More than a few times, he'd had to think unsexy thoughts, all so he wouldn't be cursed with getting an unwanted boner in public and even worse, getting one while sitting next to Abby, whom he was sure would notice (like she'd always seemed to have a habit of in the past).

Since it was females only backstage during the competition (with only exceptions for those who were rich enough, that no one at a boot-licker event like this would dare to refuse them anything within reason), he'd been relegated to being just another face in the crowd of onlookers. There, he was sitting in between Dawson (who had Mary-Beth sitting on his other side) and Abby, who for as cute as she was and as friendly as they'd become with one another, clearly didn't excite him in the same way that Dawson's girl did it for his buddy. One thing that he could say for his "Platonic Date" on the other hand, was that she really seemed to be enjoying herself and her doing so, also rubbed off in a great way on himself.

First up was the "Eveningwear Competition" and as far as himself seeing a bunch of pretty girls went, this was by lengths the biggest all-out Babe-O-Rama, he'd ever attended and then some! Joey, it almost went without saying, outshone all of them in his opinion and maybe it was just that he was rooting for her so much, but it sounded to him like she'd gotten the loudest applause out of the contestants. In second, he would have to and as little as he wanted to, put Hannah (his former nemesis from the early grades in school and at the same time, the absolute best adversary, he could have asked for at that age) and in third, he'd put Melissa (who, from what he could tell, had been Abby's second favorite (after Joey, of course!)).

The second third consisted of a "Q&A" kind of deal, where the contestants were asked a bunch of generic questions and had to answer them, before finishing off with one question, that was only asked to them and none of the others. Needless to say, it wasn't every answer to these questions that consisted of what you could call words of wisdom, and these were his favorite "So bad, that he almost felt bad for the unfortunate girl, who'd given it" answers:

Firstly though, he had to give an honorable mention to the girl, who got so scared that she couldn't get a word out and after a few seconds of uncomfortable silence also ran off stage. While he'd never know what she would have answered to "If you had an hour to talk to the Governor, what would you tell him?", she still provided enough cringe-worthy entertainment in those seconds to get at least a mention!

Number 3 - When asked "What will you want to tell your children, when they become your age someday?", the girl who was asked it answered: "That money isn't all that matters, but it's close to it. That's what daddy always tells me!"

Number 2 - When asked "How would you end world hunger?", they got the amazing answer: "I'd tell people here in America to eat less. In that case, we also wouldn't have as many disgusting, fat people either! (Followed by, after an embarrassing silence and her finding out that she'd clearly said the worst thing, she could have) Oh, I didn't mean the fat people in this room!"

Number 1 - When asked "Do you think it's possible to achieve world peace?", the answer the girl gave was simply a gleeful: "Sure!".

All things said however, most of the contestants were pretty decent with their answers and although Joey's answer to "What would you want to tell the generations of the future?" was a sweet and from the heart message about tolerance, there were others that gave just as good answers to their questions, if not better. After sitting through nearly all of them (and being kind of bored by the end of it), the last girl up was Melissa.

If there was one part of his childhood, where Dawson wished that he'd done something different, than what he did, it was when it came to the breakdown of Joey and Melissa's friendship. Truth be told, he wished that he could have gone back even further than that and done a whole lot of things differently, like been the kind of friend to Melissa, that he should have been. Neither himself or Pacey having been one, was what had turned it into an event that forever would change things, for not only those two girls, but for himself as well.

When he was younger, Dawson would be first to admit that he'd been a stereotypical, slightly spoiled only child and that as a result of nearly always getting what he wanted, it had also created a rather selfish boy, who easily got upset when he didn't get it. Probably for that reason, Joey and Melissa's friendship and especially, how much time it was taking away from Joey spending (in his own estimation) enough time with himself, turned it into a thorn in his eye as time went on. While he'd never had anything against Melissa and they generally were always friendly with one another, he just couldn't connect with her like he could with Joey or Pacey, and whenever Joey would say no to hanging out with himself, thanks to wanting to spend some "Girl Time" with Melissa, it had made him jealous every time without fault. As ashamed as he was now to had thought it, he'd once made a silent wish that something would happen to break them up and what's worse, he'd felt satisfied inside when it had happened and the two of them had their big bust-up in front of their entire classroom.

While most of the townspeople (mostly those, who were like his parents) preferred to pretend that "No One Knew Anything to Make Them Suspect It", when it comes to Joey's dad getting busted for selling drugs, the ugly truth was that there had been an untold number of rumors about him being involved in something shady, going back to long before Joey's mother died. Of course, the younger version of Joey would tirelessly defend her dad, if anyone even remotely accused him of doing anything illegal and for that reason, it wasn't something they ever spoke about. it wasn't like the other kids at their school didn't though, and the more stories that went around, the more the girls at school started avoiding Joey and in turn, Melissa too. The arrest itself, for as shocking as it had been to Joey and Bessie (the only two, who blindly believed in every lie that their dad told them), was only the culmination of months, if not years, of build-up to almost everyone else in town.

For Joey, it was nothing short of devastating to find out that had her dad been lying his butt off to them for so long and on top of that, would be spending the next long while in jail. Everyone's thoughts had gone to her and Bessie, including his own, with too few of them going towards Melissa. When he'd had the chance to be there for her, his selfish-minded younger self had reacted in the worst way, he could and seen it as his chance to break hers and Joey's friendship up for good, all so he could have Joey to himself again. After seeing Melissa become lonelier with every class that they sat through, until she was ready to crack, the final phase of the plan was to tell Joey who had been spreading lies about her and within a day of her returning to school, Joey and Melissa's friendship was over.

At the time, he'd just been happy to have Joey all to himself again and it wasn't until he began to see the deep-rooted psychological ramifications on her, in the way that she acted towards those of her own gender in the years afterwards, that his guilty conscience began to grow on him, when it came to how selfishly he'd acted back then. Now, where she had found a replacement in Jen and her being so downright scared of making friends with a girl her own age was quickly becoming a thing of the past, it also helped to ease his own feeling of guilt, every time he saw them laughing together and sharing things, in the ways that she wouldn't be able to with himself. Still, he couldn't forget how, for the longest time, he'd feared that it would never happen and that he could unknowingly have permanently "Broken" something extremely important within one of his closest friends. Every time he saw Melissa at school, it reminded him of it and if there was one wish, he'd want to come true more than all of the others, it was that her and Joey would find a way of patching things up. Up until this evening, all of that had felt like a pipe dream, though.

Joey was filled with relief, now that two thirds of the contest was over. All she had left was to sing her song from "Les Mis" and she'd be done with this once in a lifetime, extremely nervous display of how inadequate she felt compared to the girls, she was competing against. No matter how much Jen tried to tell her otherwise.

"You're winning this thing, trust me! The judges all love you!" Jen assured her, while they were watching the rest of her competition go through their Q&A parts.

"It sounds more to me, like you need to be locked up in some kind of asylum for being overly delusional!" Joey quipped, moments before Melissa walked on stage.

"If it isn't Melissa? You know, Pacey once told me the story about you two".

"Then you also know why this feels like the perfect time for a bathroom break!" Joey snarled back and was about to turn around, when Jen put a hand on her arm.

"You can hold it a little longer, Joey. This, you'll want to see and hear for yourself" Jen said and her saying so was the only thing, that made Joey stay.

After going through the mandatory generic first questions, the host of the show asked Melissa her "special question": "What is the most important thing in the world to you?"

"I want everyone to be happy and safe and for all children to be able to grow up without fear of what the future brings them, that goes without saying" Melissa began.

"For me personally, it's important that I'm comfortable with who I am and to feel like I'm doing good things for those less fortunate than myself, to help them through their struggles. The thing is, I wasn't always like that. One time, I did something really bad" Melissa said, as a hush of expectancy went over the audience, whom after sitting through so many bits of these that were basically the exact same, were more than ready for a bit of scandalous slander to spice things up.

"Oh?" was all that the shocked looking host could think of answering, before letting Melissa go on.

"I had this friend, who was going through some of the worst times, anyone could have and instead of defending her, like I should have, I told some lies about her to some girls to make them like me. I was lonely and going through plenty of things at the time too, but there's no excuse for what I did. I want her to know how sorry, I am, that I didn't stand by her, like I should have and for how I made what already was a horrible situation for her, so much worse by what I did. Sure, it helped to turn me into one of the popular girls at school and whether I'll still be after this little confessional remains to be seen, but along the way it also lost me the best friend, I'd ever had. I'd gladly trade in all of that popularity just to hear her tell me, that she forgives me, and we can try to be friends again. If she does, I think that I can finally say that I like who I am, because I don't feel that way now, where I feel like a faker all of the time for pretending to be someone, I'm not. Oh, and one final thing. Belinda, you're a total bitch and you can take your pom-pom's and shove them up where the sun never shines, because I'm quitting your lousy cheerleader squad!" Melissa concluded her speech, to the loud applause of a surprisingly high number of teenage girls in the audience.

Whichever part of what Melissa said got the hardest to Joey is impossible to say, but by the end of it, she felt ready to at least try talking to her friend from years gone by again.

END OF CHAPTER EIGHTEEN

Chapter Text

"Honesty is such a lonely word

Everyone is so untrue

Honesty is hardly ever heard

And mostly what I need from you"

BILLY JOEL (From the album "52nd Street" (1978))

Following the talent portion and while they were waiting for the judges to make up their minds, as if it hadn't been made up for them already, Joey had a long overdue talk with Melissa in a private backroom.

"I never gave a moment of thought to how my dad's arrest impacted you. Why didn't you tell me?" Joey asked Melissa, who looked relieved to finally get to tell her side of the story to the one, she most wanted to tell it to.

"I knew that you were feeling horrible enough over everything that was happening to you, as it was. I didn't want you to feel guilty on top of that, over whatever part, you'd invertedly played in my small problems, compared to yours".

"They didn't sound like they were small. I guess, I never gave you a chance to explain yourself, before I kind of exploded on you, did I?"

"Let's just say that it was bad, Joey. So bad, that it isn't something, I ever want to think about again".

"Me neither" Joey answered and they smiled shyly at each other in agreement.

"I know what I did is a lot to forgive and I'm still not sure that I deserve your forgiveness, but is there a chance you think, that we could become friends again?" Melissa asked so sweetly, that Joey would have felt like bitch of the year, if she'd refused her.

"Yeah, I guess so. Two years is long enough to carry around a grudge" Joey told a glad looking Melissa and in doing so, felt a whole body's worth of relief too herself, in the process.

They could have continued their conversation for a lot longer, but the announcement of the winner meant that they had to get back on stage in a hurry, if only to be there to fulfill the obligations, they'd already agreed to and to crown the most expected winner since last year's "Miss Windjammer" contest, that was also won by ... you guessed it, Hannah Von Wenning!

If was for that reason with a very slim hope of earning more than one of the consolation prizes (a coupon for a free medium soda, if you bought a pizza at "Pizza by the Pier", by far the worst place to get a pizza not only in Capeside, but quite possibly the entire state), that Joey and Melissa lined up with the other contestants. It wasn't announced in what order they'd finished outside of the top three (if they had, then Melissa would have probably been the best guess for last place!) and after the daughter of the third richest man in town was given 3rd place, in spite of giving the absolute worst answer she could have in the Q&A section and showing no sign of any kind of talent whatsoever in the talent portion, there was little hope for Joey that she would come away from this day with more than a story to tell, that when she became an adult someday would be practically impossible to get anyone, that hadn't known her at this time of her life, to believe in.

It was therefore to her uttermost surprise, when the host of the contest announced:

"Finishing in second place ... Josephine Potter!"

She hadn't expected it to happen and with how political this whole contest was to begin with, it wouldn't have surprised her either, if they'd chosen her just to get off a tiny bit of the stench of nepotism and give some "Hope" to the daughters of those, who by working for them kept making the leading families of the Yacht Club richer with every passing day. Still, it filled her with a sense of pride and in comparison, to the shattered claps of courtesy that her rival in third place had received, hearing that crowd applaud her like she'd just announced the cure for Cancer, actually gave her the kind of confidence boost that Jen had been telling her about, yet she'd never really believed that something as phony as a contest like this could provide her. It was lucky for her that she didn't have to give a speech, because if she had been asked to give one, she would in all likelihood have been completely tongue-tied in that moment.

Who took first place was no surprise, with Hannah taking home the easiest win of all time. As little as Joey wanted to admit it (since the two of them weren't exactly what you could call friends, back when they were kids growing up together), she probably deserved to win too, for looking like the only pro at this, in a contest where she'd been surrounded by a bunch of merry amateurs, none of whom ever had any realistic chance of being anywhere close to in Hannah's league to begin with. Had it been a fair contest, Joey was almost certain that the girl who had been the first to come up with the teasing nickname "A Boy Named Joseph" for her (a nickname that she'd hated hearing, every single time she was called it), would have won by a landslide either way.

That could have been it for the surprises in this day in Joey's life and she would have more than gladly have settled for this much or even less than it, when she'd woken up all nervous that same morning. In a day that had already been full of pleasant surprises however, there was still one last surprise to come. One, that she never would have imagined could have happened. It came after Hannah was done thanking the judges and declaring her love for the town, she hadn't lived in since she was nine and had to be considered highly unlikely to ever live in for more than a few days at a time, again.

"The only thing is, it doesn't feel right for me to take this check for five thousand dollars, when there's someone up here, who deserves it more than I do and to whom, I can guess that this money will make a much bigger difference, than it would to me. That contestant is Joey Potter" Hannah declared and if Joey had been on level of surprised called "speechless" before then, she could best be described as being completely dumbstruck by what was going on now!

Pacey, of course, had wanted to jump up on the stage and give his girlfriend a hug and a kiss, the moment after she'd essentially won the contest (she did end up being the girl, who was leaving with the prize money, after all), but seeing as the backstage area was still off limits to him, he waited outside of the back door for her, in the fifty/fifty hope that he'd chosen correctly. A positive sign was when he saw several other contestants leaving through there, most of whom barely gave him a passing glance. The first who did, unsurprisingly, was his old frenemy from grade school, one Hannah Von Wenning.

"If it isn't Pacey Witter? Still not a hit with the ladies, I see?" Hannah asked half tauntingly/half teasingly.

"Whereas I'm guessing that there are plenty of high paid shrinks up in the Connecticut area, who have you to thank for having driven your share of boys crazy already?" he fired back and within moments, it almost felt like they were back to being a pair of far too big-mouthed kids on the playground again.

"it's better than not getting any, isn't it? If my first-hand assumption, when I saw you again among the crowd tonight is correct, it should be a topic that a guy like you would know all about!"

"If you're by those remarks implying that I'm still single, I hate to disappoint a vile piece of devil spawn like yourself! No, wait! I don't!" he joked, and it got a nice little laugh in response from Hannah.

"I'm just playing with you, Pacey! I saw you and "Little Miss Rags to Riches", Joey Potter, sucking face like there was no tomorrow before the contest began. What happened there? Back when I knew you two, you were trying to put gum in her hair half of the time and she was far more likely to give you a black eye, than a big old smooch on the lips!"

"We grew up".

"That's the most boring answer, you can give! You can at least tell me, how long this has been going on between you guys?"

"Long enough, that you can't call it new anymore. Speaking of my girlfriend, you can't tell me that wasn't some kind of publicity stunt, you handing her the winner's check like that?" he had to ask, even if the answer was already pretty obvious.

"My dad called it "By far the cheapest way to earn that kind of goodwill from those gullible suckers" His words, not mine".

"What about you? Was this a favor from a daughter to her parents or a paid gig for you?"

"Wouldn't you like to know? So, what do you think the light of your life with spend all of that dough on?" Hannah asked, without a trace in her voice of her giving a damn about the answer.

"Why do you care?"

"I'm just curious! I've never tried what it's like to be poor, remember? How would I know what a poor person would spend that kind of money on?" she joked, albeit not entirely.

"She has a trip abroad coming up soon. I'm sure, it'll come in handy as spending money" he told her and it looked to him, like Hannah liked that answer.

"How nice for her. Tell her from me to have a safe trip and please, for the love of God, to throw that make-over coupon for "Betty's Hair Barn" into the trash, where it belongs! I still remember vividly and not in any kind of a positive way, how they made up my mom to look at that place and that was all the way back in the 80's! Trust me on this, it isn't a look, you would want your girlfriend to have, if you're planning on keeping her and not being ridiculed behind you back!" she quipped and they smiled slightly, as if in a show of respect for old times' sake, at each other.

"So, is this it for you and Capeside for this year, as per your usual yearly schedule?" he inquired, as a way to send a small barb back Hannah's way too, after all of the ones, she'd thrown his.

"Show Joey a fantastic time tonight, Pacey. Now that she's had to put up with you as her boyfriend, I'm positive that if anyone more than deserves it, it has to be her! You'll be seeing me again, before you know it" Hannah mysteriously told him in passing, before walking over to and getting into the very expensive looking and chauffeured car, that awaited her.

Joey, exactly like Jen had hoped, was glowing with a glorious mix of pride and joy, after she'd figuratively ended up having her cake and eating it too, on an evening that she was unlikely to forget for a long time to come, if ever.

"I told you!" Jen teasingly said, while enjoying the sight of the enormous smile on her friends' face.

"I didn't really win!" Joey responded, in yet another one of her (to Jen sometimes a little annoying) ways to cut herself down to size.

"The winner was clearly already decided beforehand. You beat everyone else, fair and square, so just enjoy it!" Jen told her friend, who for once looked like she was enjoying the moment to the fullest, without any thought of what the future might bring, holding her enjoyment down. "Not to mention that I also win, because I get to take you on a trip to New York, my own personal home turf since I was born, that I now can't wait to show you all the best parts of! So, when are we flying down there?"

"We'll have to wait for the summer to do it" Joey shyly answered, with the ramifications of the answer going over Jen's head for a moment.

"Or we could go down there for Spring Break? Wait, why did you say that we "have to" wait for the summer?" Jen asked, instantly being worried over what the answer would be.

"There's something, I haven't told you. I've been given the chance to live and study for free in France for a semester and as much as you know, I hate the thought of leaving you here all alone ..."

"This is something, you have to do. I get it. I mean, how can I or my friendship compete with a chance of a lifetime like that?" Jen rhetorically asked very sadly, probably not being the best in world history at hiding her disappointment and fear over what the next six months would be like, without her having her best friend there to support her through it all.

"Jen, you've become an amazing friend to me over these past months! Before I met you, I honestly didn't think that I'd ever make a friend like I have in you, at least not one with a uterus!" Joey sweetly quipped and it managed to cheer Jen up a tiny bit to hear her say so. "In spite of my initial reservations and how horribly I treated you for those first weeks, after you'd moved here, you have managed to, in record time, I might add, become one of the most important people in my life, just by being you! When I come home, I'm expecting us to start, right where we left off and don't think that you'll get out of e-mailing back and forth with me at least once every two days! I'd like it a whole lot, if you could be my link to everything that's going on back here, so I won't feel like I'm completely out of the loop, when I come home at the beginning of this next summer".

"You got it. Now, that we're confessing things, I have a big one for you. I've ... been having feelings for Pacey, of the "more than friend way type". I mean, it isn't like I would ever do anything about it and especially not knowing all too well, like I do, that he would only see me as a temporary replacement for the girl, he truly wants to be with. I just ... I wanted you to know, okay? If only so it isn't hanging over us like some dark cloud, that could destroy our friendship" Jen nervously got out and practically instantly, she felt an inner calm and a sense of peace of mind that made her question, if she'd ever felt entirely that way before now. Joey only smiling understandingly back at her, throughout her little confessional, did it's share too, it should be said.

"Jen, nothing can destroy our friendship! Sure, there's a chance that Pacey and me will last as a couple until we're old and grey, but I'm still not surer of that, than I am of say ... what I want to do with my life, when I finish school someday. I mean, let's be honest here. How many couples that are our age actually make it that far?"

"Not all that many, I bet".

"Do you know what I am totally, one hundred percent sure of? That we'll still be friends by then. Ho's before Bro's, right?" Joey cheekily asked and now, Jen couldn't help herself from smiling a little back at her anymore.

"That saying doesn't work as well, when it's said the other way around, but I'll take it!" Jen answered, right before they shared a big hug.

Dawson had been waiting all evening for the "perfect kiss" that (hopefully) awaited him later on, but you couldn't say that it had gone according to his plans at all. One thing was the beauty contest, which had gotten a slight bit in the way, still had that been the only obstacle himself and Mary-Beth faced, it wouldn't have thrown his plans off too much. With Joey finishing second, before surprisingly getting the prize money after all and on top of that telling him that she had big news to share with everyone however, they couldn't blow off her victory party, even if they'd wanted to. He was perfectly fine with this too, wanting to be there for Joey, now that she finally had her brief moment in the sun.

"I can't get a small spoiler out of you?" he teasingly asked Joey, while they stood out on the porch of his house and waited for the rest of the guests to arrive, and Mary-Beth was busy helping his mom with getting everything ready for the party. They would have helped of course, if his mom hadn't been so adamant that they didn't need it. He suspected though, that it mostly had something to do with his mother wanting some alone time with her prospective daughter-in-law, now that she had a rare chance to.

"I guess, with Pacey and Jen having found out already, it can't hurt to tell you. Do you remember months ago, like way back long before the schoolyear started, when I told you that I'd applied to be in a free student exchange program?" was all she had to ask, for him to get the message.

"They accepted you in?" he asked back, as she broke into a smile from ear to ear.

"Wow! Congratulations!" was all he could think of to say, as the scary thought of being without her for many times longer, than they'd ever been apart before, since they became friends as little kids, started creeping into his mind.

"I've been on the fence about it, since I got the letter and not just because I'd be leaving Pacey and you and everyone else behind here in the only place, I can remember calling my home. Since we moved here, I don't think I've been outside of the town limits more than a hundred times, and I've only tried it once on my own before. Another reason was because I could see any way, that we could afford to buy me a plane ticket over there and home again, plus I'd need to have at least some spending money, when I got there and now, it's all fallen into place, thanks to the most unlikely source, I ever could have imagined, it would be. Hannah Von Wenning, of all people!" Joey stated, like it was the weirdest thing to happen in the entire history of humanity.

"And as a huge extra bonus, you finally made up with Melissa again. It's been a day slightly out of the ordinary for you, hasn't it?" he understatedly joked, while trying to hold back from showing the emotional turmoil, that was already beginning to build up inside of him. Half a year with no Joey in his life at all, except for the occasional e-mail or phone call, if he could even convince his parents to pay for it. Although, prizes on international calls across the Atlantic wasn't his area of expertise, he couldn't imagine that making a phone call to somewhere in France would be cheap.

"You can say that again!" she grinningly stated, before turning her head to look into his eyes. "Dawson, I know that we haven't been hanging out nearly as much, as we used to these past months. That doesn't mean you're not still my best friend, it's just that I have more than one best friend now. Jen has become one and Pacey, for as much as me from half a year ago would have refused to believe it would ever happen, has been an amazing boyfriend all of the way. That alone makes him one too, but it doesn't mean you're any less important to me".

"I always knew that I couldn't keep an unpolished gem like you, hidden away up in my room forever, Joey. I think, this thing we're going through, where we've both been looking to expand our horizons beyond what we knew and experiencing things in life apart from one another, is just what you call growing up. Maybe, Pacey was right that we were a little too joined at the hip for a while and this is a positive sign, that we are capable of living our lives apart, at least for the most part. We only have a few years of high school left and after that, who knows where life will take us to? I've started looking into film schools and most of those that looked interesting to me were on the West Coast, so there's a good chance that we'll end up living on opposite sides of the country by then".

"Doesn't that sadden you, just a little bit?"

"Sure, it's just not something I'm getting nostalgic over already. We'll still have plenty of time to do stuff together, when you get home, so don't you worry about me!"

"Then, you're not mad at me either? Man, everyone is being nice about this!" she apparently felt like she had to blurt out and even in this emotional state, it couldn't help but bring a chuckle out of him.

"How did you expect them to react?"

"I was sure that at least one of you would be mad at me or at least a little disappointed, that you won't be seeing me for so long!"

"They all agree with me, when I say that this town won't be the same without you, but most of all, we want the best for you and if you believe in your heart, that this is it, then we trust your sixth sense on it" he assured her.

"What if it's steering me wrong this this time? It isn't just the moving across the pond part, I'm worried over. I'll have to make brand-new friends, starting from scratch and get used to a completely different kind of culture, when it comes to a lot of things. You know how I am with new people and how long, it usually takes me to warm to them! If I go by that barometer, I'll only just have started my make my first acquaintance, by the time I have to fly home again, roughly half a year from now!"

"You'll do amazing over there, Joey! I've never been more certain of anything in my life!" he told her honestly, although what he honestly wanted to tell her was not to go and that just the thought of going for so long without her in his life, was physically making his stomach turn to knots.

"Will you be okay?" she asked very caringly and in the acting performance of his life up to that point, he managed to convince her, that he was sure, he would be.

Thanks to the party being at his parents' house, he also got stuck with helping out with the cleaning and as for his and Mary-Beth's first kiss, it ended up first taking place a week later, under a full moon and not all that far from the same spot, where he'd kissed Jen for the first time and after them having been on a more proper kind of date, to lead up to it. Nice as it was though, there was one enormous problem: As much as he tried to fight it and to be in the moment for this great girl, who was giving one of her most precious gifts to him, it soon became Joey that he imagined, he was having his first kiss with in that moment.

After Joey had announced her imminent departure to everyone present at the party in her honor, it had more or less turned into one long lovefest for her for the rest of the evening and no one there was happier to see it than Abby, who could barely believe, how well her plan had worked out for her former long-time rival. Not even Abby herself would have imagined, that Joey would have made up with Melissa or for that matter, taking home the first-place prize money (even though she hadn't actually finished first, "But hey, five grand is still five grand!" as Abby told herself), while she'd been cheering on Joey harder than anyone else there at that contest. Their former rivalry now felt like something that had happened in a distant past and to say that Abby felt proud of her own part in helping Joey's life to improve, would have been the understatement of a year, that was only a few weeks away from coming to an end.

"Why didn't stuff like that ever happen to me, back when I was your age?" Bessie joked on the short car ride back to their house from Dawson's house. Bodie had gladly volunteered to stay home and take care of his baby son (who was teething and making sure that everyone in their house was all too aware of it!), so it was only the three of them in the car.

"Before today, I thought it only happened on the Disney Channel, so I'm right there with you! The only question, I have left is who told Pacey about me going to France? Do you think, it could have been Bodie?" Joey asked her sister and Abby felt the need to close the subject quickly.

"Who else could it have been? It isn't like anyone else, outside of those in this car knew" she said and the short explanation of her reasoning, that she'd come up with on the fly, seemed to sit well with the two sisters.

"Remind me to thank him, when I get the chance. It's such a relief to have all of that weight off my shoulders, of Pacey and most of my other friends not knowing and me still being so much in doubt over everything!" Joey said and again, Abby had to quickly come up with something to say. to stop her from it.

"Do you know what would be even better? If you shared a knowing smile! Wouldn't that be a much more memorable moment, than any long and probably slightly uncomfortable conversation, you two could have about it?" Abby tried with, even if she had to admit to herself moments later that her second try hadn't been as nearly strong in her own opinion, as her first try was.

"Right now, you sound like a girl, who's watched WAY too many chick flicks!" Bessie quipped and the laughter between them thankfully closed the subject.

"Totally guilty there!" a relieved and chipper Abby answered and suddenly, something Joey had said just then, dawned on her and it quickly began to bug her a little. "Joey, you said "Most of my other friends". Did anyone else know anything, aside from us and Bodie?"

"When I said, "Most of", it meant that you're included among my friends, Abby. I didn't think, it needed to be said, but there you have it! We're friends now and we don't need to have some big heartfelt talk about it or a hug-out over it, it's just the way it is!" Joey (in typical Joey fashion) replied.

"Abby, what my little sister is trying to say, is that just like Bodie and myself have so far had no reason to be anything, except for delighted to have you living with us, she's secretly and even if she would never say it out loud, extremely thankful to have a friend like you in her life. One thing you learn quickly from knowing Joey, like I do, is how to become a bona-fide master on how to read between the lines, when it comes to her!" Bessie half-jokingly explained and the feeling of sisterly love between the three of them, that surrounded her, had Abby feeling like this was a moment, she'd want to be frozen in time for all eternity, if such a thing was possible.

For the rest of the drive home, what they mostly talked about was how they would handle things around the house and at the restaurant, now that Joey wouldn't be there to help out for a while. And while she didn't have the nerve to ask for it yet, Abby was pretty sure that she could convince Joey to allow her to use her room and not the least, letting Abby sleep on that very comfy looking bed in there, while she was gone, a massive improvement on her sleeping arrangement in the living room!

Even if she felt that it would be better, if Joey never found out about her own small part in Joey's recent stroke of massively good fortune, Abby also felt like she deserved a little something, for helping out her "Temporary Stepsister" this much, after all!

END OF CHAPTER NINETEEN

Chapter Text

"Now the time has come to leave you

One more time let me kiss you

Then close your eyes I'll be on my way

Dream about the days to come

When I won't have to leave alone

About the times, I won't have to say

Kiss me and smile for me

Tell me that you'll wait for me

Hold me like you'll never let me go"

JOHN DENVER (from the album "Rhymes and Reasons" (1969))

Joey had been allowed by Bessie to blow off the last day of school before the Christmas break, to do yet another thing, she knew that she should have done much sooner: Going to visit her dad in jail. She already knew that she would be busy at the restaurant pretty much from when she got home that day, until late in the evening on the 23rd. After this they had two closed days on the 24th and the 25th and it was back to work on the 26th (usually one of their busiest days of the year) through to mid-day on the 31st, where them being the only restaurant in town that was open for breakfast and lunch that day, always led to those hours being a nice little financial boost for them, before the New Year's celebrations began.

With school in France beginning already on the second of January, it meant that she had to fly over there on New Year's Day. At first, this had annoyed her a little, until she'd found out that it was actually much cheaper to fly on that day, than on the surrounding days and the more money she could save on her ticket, the more of it she would have as pocket money, to have fun with for these next six months of her life, that were sure to be nothing like what she'd ever experienced before.

Fun. When had anything over these past three years, since her mom became terminally ill and her dad slipped further and further into his "secret life", simply been about her having fun? Even when she was with Pacey, for as much as she enjoyed herself with him, it was also out of a feeling of being obligated to, now that she'd agreed to become his girlfriend. Going to see her dad now was more for his sake, than her own and the drive down there was a solemn affair, with herself and Bessie only rarely talking for more than a few seconds at a time.

Bessie went in for a short talk with him first. All the while, Joey's heart was racing just as fast as her mind was, with the thoughts of everything she wanted to say to the man, who'd turned her life upside down in an instant and since then, hadn't been forced to feel the many negative effects of it, the same way that his family had. Those first months after his arrest were by now a haze in her memories, but the feelings of resentment for what he'd done to them, still stuck to her like a Cancerous tumor of built-up internal rage. The one time she had been to visit him in prison was the year before and it hadn't been an experience, that she felt like looking back on, so she wasn't holding up much hope that it would be different this time.

"Take your time, now that you have plenty of it with him" Bessie told her, just as she was about to enter the visitor's area.

"How's he looking?"

"He's lost some weight, since we last saw him, but it doesn't look like he's getting beat up in here or anything like that. Look, I know that you're still angry at him and I get it, probably better than anyone does. You have every right to feel that way and he knows that he doesn't deserve yours or my forgiveness. Not until he's earned it. Just ... for you own sake, Joey. Try to find it in your heart to get rid of some of that anger, you have towards him, because it can't be healthy for your mental well-being, to carry that negativity around with you all of the time. Especially not now, where you'll soon be living in a different country, without your support network to lean on, like you've always been able to in the past and you'll have a long list of different kinds of problems to deal with, than you've never had to deal with before. I think, you know that deep down too" Bessie said imploringly, while looking into Joey's eyes and it wasn't like, Joey could say that Bessie was wrong in her assumption. After taking a deep breath for courage, she entered the visitor's area, where the convicts (under strict supervision, of course) could talk to their loved ones.

"Bessie has been filling me in on what's been going on in your life. It's only made me wish, that I could have been there to help you through some of it" her dad nervously said, after they'd gotten past the initial pleasantries.

"We're doing fine by ourselves, without needing your help, I'll have you know!" she snapped back at him.

"I'm sure, you do! I didn't mean it like that, Joey. Listen, it's hard for me too, being in here and not being able to support you, like I should as your dad".

"You don't know me anymore, so let's not waste time by sitting here and pretending, that you do! And you don't need to worry about me, if that's what you think. I have my family, my friends and an incredible boyfriend, who does more for me every week, than you've done for me for the past three years!" she told him off and she could see a few tears start to run down his cheeks.

"Don't you think, I know that, Joey? When you mom became so sick, that it became certain that she wouldn't make it, I couldn't deal with it! I loved your mom more than life itself and when she was taken away from me, while I couldn't do anything, except to watch the love of my life wither away in front of me, it was as if my life had turned into one long nightmare. I probably shouldn't tell you this and you can't ever tell Bessie what I'm about to say, but if it hadn't been for you and your sister, I would have taken my own life. I came close to a few times" her dad explained and in spite of all of the hatred with herself towards him, those words still made the blood run cold through her veins.

"How did you ...?" Joey asked, with only her most morbid side wanting to know.

"Pills. One time ... it was a few days after your mom had passed away. I managed to swallow enough of a bunch of strong enough ones of them, that it would have done the job. Moments later, I began imagining what it would do to you and Bessie, to lose both of your parents in such a short time and not to mention, myself in a way like that, so I forced myself to throw most of them up again. If you think that I don't feel guilty every second of the day in here, Joey ... I could spend the entire rest of my life trying to make amends to all of those I hurt and disappointed and I still don't think I'll come close to feeling, like I'd done enough" he replied as truthfully, as she'd ever seen her dad be with her before this.

"That's ... I don't know what to say to that".

"You don't have to say anything, Joey. I'm so sorry for everything, I did wrong. The affair, the drinking, taking and selling drugs and most of all, for being such a lousy dad to you and Bessie, because neither of you had done anything to deserve being in the kind of mess, my huge mistakes in life left you in. When I get out of here, which from what my lawyer tells me could be before you come home from your semester in France, I'll try to be the kind of dad that you deserve to have and dare I say it, perhaps even a guy that you don't have to be ashamed anymore for being the daughter of".

Joey had already decided beforehand, that she wouldn't cry. This time though, it was a battle that she had no chance in hell of winning.

"So, did you talk some stuff out with him?" Bessie asked leadingly, while they were looking for their car in the visitor's parking area.

"Yeah, a few. I don't know. I guess, this me being angry with him thing isn't something, that'll go away from day to day. I can at least say that I'm a little less angry at him now, than I was when we arrived here".

"It's a start, so that's something" Bessie said, just before spotting their car and a smile creeping across her face.

"What are we going to do, when he gets out? I mean, do we even want him living with us again, after what's he's done and with how well things have been going for us lately?"

"I know what you mean. With how many times my boat has been rocked over these past years, it isn't like I'll be searching out news ways to have it happen for a long time to come".

"Unless it's Bodie, who's doing the "Boat Rocking"! Am I right?" Joey teasingly asked and got an eye roll from her older sister in response.

Ever since the first time, he'd experienced one of them, there had been two days of the year, Pacey looked forward to more than any other days, even including his birthday: The day that summer vacation began and the day his Christmas holiday began. This year on the other hand, "Christmas Vacation Day" was mostly ruined for him by the thought of how little he was looking forward to the vacation itself. All he wanted to do was spend as much time as possible with Joey and enjoy her amazing self for all she was worth, before she was to take off to France on the day after New Year's Eve, but as it looked, he would be lucky to spend more than a day or two with her.

Most of the things getting between them were things that he'd already known about for a long time, like the annual upturn in business at the Ice House during the holidays, that required them to have everyone on their staff working. With Abby still being in her learning phase as a waitress, it wasn't like he couldn't understand that Joey couldn't leave Bessie and Bodie (who were, for as important as he was to her, still the ones who fed her, kept a roof over her head and took care of her, as if they were her parents, every day of the year) high and dry. Of course, that didn't mean that the selfish side of him wasn't disappointed, that he felt like he had to book an appointment to see her, now that they only had a little over a week, until he wouldn't see the girl he loved for another six months.

"What's eating you up? I can tell that there has to be something, with how quiet you've been all afternoon" Jen (his newest trainee at "Screen Time") asked him, now that they finally had a lull in the constant stream of movie-renters, who almost all came in to rent one of the many copies they had of the most popular Christmas movies, that most of them had probably seen at least a few times before. On one hand, he felt like it was the boring choice, but after having watched "Jingle All the Way" with Jen during their shift the evening before, it had thoroughly reminded him of why people like to stick to those classics.

"Remember when Christmas used to be nice and simple? When all you cared about were what gifts you would get and whether your dad would get so drunk, that he fell asleep before dinner and was out for the evening or would stay sober enough to ruin it for everyone?" he sulkily asked.

"Not really. What I remember is either being left at home alone on Christmas eve, while my socialite parents were out partying it up with the people, they actually wanted to spend the evening with. Or, on the rare occasion that I got to spend it with them, the air being so thick with tension and passive/aggressive remarks, that I'd soon find myself wishing, I didn't have to sit through it. It's probably why I've never gotten into that whole "Christmas Spirit" thing, that everyone likes to rave about" Jen sadly recounted to him.

"Not even as a kid?"

"Not that I can remember".

"Getting presents wasn't enough to get you just a little excited?" he had to ask, a bit shocked that such a thing exists, as someone who's never liked Christmas, even as a kid.

"It wasn't like there was a whole lot for me to get excited over. Every year, they would get me a new dress, which I would of course be forced to wear, every time they dragged me along to be shown off at one of their fancy social events. I grew to hate the sight of those dresses so much, that I would have preferred to burn them, rather than wear them. All they are to me is yet another symbol of how my parents see me as nothing more than an accessory, that's only ever existed to shut up, not cause trouble and look pretty, whenever I had to be paraded in front of their peers or whenever else, it was convenient for them. Sorry, Pacey. I hope I didn't bum you out anymore, then you already were" Jen apologized.

"I can't see how you could have. Word is that you and Grams are spending the evening this year at Dawson's though, so that should be a step up for you?" he asked with a small smile, that Jen returned in kind.

"It can't be any worse, that's for sure! What are your plans?"

"A depressing evening with my mom and Doug, both of whom I'm sure will remind me countless times of how I need to shape up in school next year, after the close to disastrous mid-terms, I just had! My older sister has been clever enough to decide to spend it with her boyfriend's family and isn't coming home until the 27th".

"What about your dad?"

"I haven't talked all that much to my old man since he moved out. Doug's told me that he's volunteered to work every shift down at the police station over the holidays".

"That doesn't sound to me like a man, who's dealing in a healthy way with losing his family. You should at the least stop by to say merry Christmas to him and give him a small present".

"So, he can look at it and say, "What in the hell made you think, that I'd want something like this?" like he has with practically all of the birthday or Christmas presents, I've given him over the years? If I was old enough, I could have gotten him a crate of beer and known already, that it would be a hit with him, but I'll spare myself the humiliation, if you don't mind! Him and I ... we're just never going to get along, you know? Not in the father/son way that you see on TV, anyway".

"I'm sure that a few of those parent/child relationships exist in reality, but nearly all of the real ones are flawed in some kind of way. Take it from someone, who wishes that she had the chance to say those two words to her parents, and to get some kind of peace of mind for the holidays, in knowing that there's a small chance, that we can try to become a family again. Once a relationship like that truly becomes broken, it's damn near impossible to repair again and you don't want that to happen with you and your dad, no matter how different you are on the surface. Trust me, you don't!" Jen imploringly told him, and he had to admit, that her somewhat stern words hit home with him.

"What's Pacey giving you for Christmas? Not that I can't easily guess what you WANT him to give you, but I don't need to hear any of the finer details about that!" Abby jokingly asked, while Joey and her helped one another with closing down the Ice House dining room, after the busiest day they'd had since the height of the tourist season.

"You're far too nosy for your own good! Has anyone ever told you that?" Joey asked back.

"All the time! So, have you and him ...?" Abby cheekily asked, while winking at her.

"I wouldn't tell you, even if Bodie and my sister weren't withing hearing distance!".

"That's a no, then! What's stopping you?" Abby asked, as if it was the easiest question of all time to answer.

"We have to be ready first, for one thing" Joey began, before walking over to be close enough to Abby, that she could whisper to her. "We've almost gone there once, and it made everything weird between us afterwards. I wouldn't expect you to understand".

"With all of the teen TV shows and movies, little old moi has seen? Please, Joey! Like so many other things in your life, it's completely obvious to everyone else, except to you!"

"Are you insulting me? I can't tell!"

"You and Pacey have been close since you were what, six or seven years old or something like that?"

"Something like that".

"Since then, you've watched each other grow up every step of the way and I'm guessing that some of the very first sexual fantasies you had, were probably about one another, too. Isn't it kind of logical then, that with both of you having had such a long time to build up expectations for what you want it to be, that it's easier to push it off into the future, than to risk having those expectations ruined?" Abby told her in what had to be the cleverest thing, Joey had heard her say before.

"Bessie was right. You've watched way too many chick flicks!" Joey scowled.

"You know that I'm right!" Abby teasingly and triumphantly stated.

"And you've never had a boyfriend, so what do you know?" Joey fired back and it instantly made Abby look hurt.

"That's really low, Joey! Do you think it helps to be constantly reminded of how the girls I grew up with have all had at least one and I'm now left as the only one, who hasn't?" Abby accusingly asked her back and Joey immediately began feeling guilty.

"I didn't mean it like ..."

"Like how? Do you think there's something fundamentally unlikable about me and because of that, no one would ever want to date me?" Abby seriously asked and now, Joey felt like she was around of a size, where Tinkerbell would have called her tiny.

"No! It took me a long time to, but I've grown to like you and I'm far from the only one! You're, in your very own kind of way, actually very likable, once you take the time to get to know you. I wish, I'd taken the time to much sooner, than I did, but I'm glad that I have now and as for that whole love thing, it usually happens when you least expect it to, like it did for me. You'll meet the right guy or girl soon, I promise" Joey said from the heart, as Abby's frown quickly turned into a wide smile.

"That's the first time you've told me that you like me! Did you really mean it, or was that just to make me feel better?" Abby asked, now all chipper again.

"Yeah, I mean it, Abby! Jeez! Here I thought, I had a desperate need to feel loved! You aren't even playing the same game as everyone else, when it comes to that category!" Joey joked back, right before Bessie came in to help the finish up and the three of them turned to talking about more "appropriate subjects", when it comes to what an older sister should or shouldn't hear.

It wasn't like Joey didn't want to go all the way with Pacey, before she left for France, there just wouldn't be many opportunities to, for one thing. Another was if she felt ready to take that step and she still wasn't entirely sure, when it came to that part.

After himself and Dawson having taken a near all-day road trip/Christmas gift purchasing trip to Bangor on the 23rd, now that they finally had the chance to get some proper one-on-one "Bro-Time" together, they'd attended Dawson's parents' annual Christmas party in the evening. All of the past years that he could remember, this had been his dad's favorite evening of the year, where he would figuratively get his ass kissed by townspeople all evening long, while he indulged freely in whatever kind of alcohol was being served. To himself, this would also be an advantage, since his parents would be so busy talking to his dad's "admirers" that he could get away with almost anything. This was, among other things, how he'd ended up getting slightly drunk the year before, when he'd snuck his way to a few glasses of the alcoholic eggnog. Seeing his dad not even make an appearance there, was another worrying sign that his dad wasn't doing well. The day after, also needing an excuse to get out of a house, where very little was being said between himself and his mom (who was busy making Christmas dinner), he made his way down to Capeside's police station.

"Hi, Lou. Is my dad around?" Pacey asked one of the oldest members of the police force, now relegated to being a glorified receptionist, Lou Peterson, as he walked up to the front desk.

"In his office. He only comes out of it these days, if he has absolutely to" Lou told him.

"It's that bad, huh?"

"It isn't a pretty sight, especially not when you've known him for as long, as most of the people working here have. Try to cheer him up, if you can, Pacey. I don't know if anyone else could".

Not feeling encouraged to by what he'd just heard, Pacey still made his way to the door into his dad's office, that only had "Chief of Police" and nothing else written on it. He could still remember seeing it for the first time as a little kid and thinking back then, that his dad had to be the biggest hero in the entire world. The thing about heroes though, is that for as high as they fly, they also tend to fall all that harder sometimes.

"I'm busy!" Pacey heard his dad say from behind the door, when he knocked on it.

"It's me, dad. Pacey. I've stopped by to wish you merry Christmas" he said and soon, the door was opened. It didn't take him many moments to see that his dad had to be at least ten drinks deep and he quickly made his way inside, so that no one else out of the few people there working on this day, would see it too.

When he came in, he saw that his dad was doing very little to hide what he was doing, save for pulling the blinds into his office. On the table was a mostly filled ashtray, a handful of empty beer cans and a near empty bottle of the best Irish Whiskey, you could get in town. Or so, his dad had told him many times before.

"You've started the celebrations early, I see. What if you get called out tonight?" Pacey asked and it made his dad drunkenly chuckle to himself.

"The 24th is one of the slowest days of the year. It isn't until tomorrow and the day after, when people come home to find out, they've been robbed, that we have any kind of work, I have to be involved in. So, how's my youngest son doing? Did he get a single decent grade on his mid-terms?"

"A few" was all Pacey answered, since this wasn't a subject, he felt like discussing more, than he was forced to already with his teachers, siblings and mother.

"You never were much for book learning, were you, Pacey?"

"I guess not, dad".

"I suppose, I should be thankful that only one of my kids made me pay for them to go to college! Doug, I thought was smart enough, that he could have done something with his life and instead, he decided to be a jackass and try to follow in my footsteps! I can't say though, that I don't worry, when it comes to where on the social totem pole, you'll end up someday, Pacey. I'm not only talking about school either. I wasn't all that different from you, when it came to my grades and it hasn't held me back, from doing what I wanted to do with my life. However, I also know that this new computer age is a different time, than the one I grew up in and unlike you, I already knew what I wanted to do at your age. You have to understand, that without you getting an education of some kind, life could end up being tough for you. It's people who haven't and in most cases, never found out what their path in life was meant to become, that make up nearly all of our "Customer Base" down here".

"I know, dad. I'll try harder in school, I promise" Pacey practically stuttered, so moved was he by the moment.

"Do that and you'll have given me the biggest present, you could have this holiday season. Merry Christmas, Pacey" his dad said and stuck out his hand for Pacey to shake. When Pacey shook it, they both pressed firmly, like they meant it.

"Merry Christmas, dad".

This 24th of December felt to Joey like a day, that flew by in an instant. Maybe it was the thought that she wouldn't be around her family all that much for the next half a year and change, but she found herself enjoying them even more than she usually did on this day. Just doing little things like singing Alexander to sleep or helping Bodie out in the kitchen filled her with a sense of inner peace, that she was doing something that she knew, in stark comparison to all of the "unknowns" that soon awaited her, when she arrived in the country of Napoleon, the Tour de France and a culture, that in some ways would be vastly different than what she'd grown up with. Even if they hadn't every year had the money to buy big presents for one another, it was like there was an extra amount of love that always filled their small house during these days and shamelessly, she was taking it all it as much as she could.

After their Christmas dinner, which since it was cooked by Bodie was nothing short of top notch, she'd made plans to meet up with Pacey down at "Screen Time" and get some private time with him, that they couldn't find anywhere else on those days. She felt a little bad too, that she hadn't been able to spend more time with him, now that the days were counting down fast to her departure from the States and throughout the day, a by her commonly thought question went through her mind. To have sex or not to have sex with him, that was the question.

When she made her way down there, he was already waiting outside of the store with a huge smile for her, as she walked up to him.

"You finally found five minutes to spend with your boyfriend, huh?" he asked teasingly, before giving her a kiss that by itself was enough, that she didn't need to get any more presents from him.

"How was Christmas at your mom's house?" she asked him, this time remembering to call it his mom's house and not his parent's house, something she was still getting used to.

"As you'd expect. The food wasn't too bad, but it wasn't like anyone was in the mood to celebrate this year. Hopefully, it'll get better next year, when we all have this whole divorce thing further in the rear-view mirror. Yours?"

"Nothing to complain about. Everyone there wishes you a merry Christmas, by the way".

"Tell them, that I say thanks. Shall we?" he asked smilingly, as he opened the door to let her inside.

Seeing as they didn't have anything else planned, they instantly made their way to the back room, where he'd already set up a makeshift bed for them.

"I know that it isn't exactly the Hilton, but it's all I could afford" he quipped, after they'd laid down next to each other on a soft pile of employee t-shirts.

"You know that I don't care, as long as we're together, Pacey. So ... remember the last time, we were in here like this?" she cheekily asked him, and it brought a smile to both of their faces, to think back on it.

"It's kind of hard to forget! I just wish that we'd been better at dealing with it afterwards, than we were".

"Yeah, that wasn't our finest moment, was it?" she asked rhetorically.

"Not exactly, no. Look, Joey, it isn't like I'm expecting a repeat performance of that evening or anything like that. As long as I'm with you, we could be doing anything, and I'd still be having a blast. I hope that you know that".

"Even ... whitewater rafting?"

"I'd most likely be holding onto that raft for dear life, but if you were enjoying it, I would too. Is that what you call love, you think?"

"Sounds like it to me. I love you too, Pacey".

"You're not only saying it?"

"Pacey, when I think back to before that evening where you kissed me for the first time, it's almost like it's something that happened to someone else. Every day since, you've continued to prove to me, that I made the perfect decision when I kissed you back. More importantly, you've been infinitely patient with me and whether I'm feeling happy or sad, you always make my days better. If you really want to, then we can go all the way tonight. You deserve that much, just for how amazing you've been with a "Special Case" like me" she shyly told him, although she still wasn't sure in her heart, if she was actually ready to.

"I don't want it just to be something, that we do for my sake, it should be for both of our sakes! If you don't feel ready, I'd hate myself for thinking that I'd made you have sex with me or do anything, for that matter, that you aren't entirely comfortable with. This isn't my relationship, it's ours, remember?" he told her softly and him doing so, only made the primal urges inside of her grow to close to unbearable levels.

"Maybe, I am ready, and I won't find out for sure, until I've tried it".

"Maybe, I'm not. Have you ever considered that? Sure, I tried some stuff with Tamara and sex fills my mind a lot. If it hadn't at this age we are now, I'd suspect that there was something wrong with me, but it's still a big step for a guy too, to go from thinking about it to actually doing it. When it happens for us, like I'm absolutely sure that it will someday in our future, it'll be thanks to both of us feeling ready and we've gone through lots of little steps along the way, to get us to that point".

Seconds later, they began sharing a kiss that soon erased all thoughts of France and all of the problems, that came with moving over there, from Joey's mind. A few new things were tried that evening too, things that she knew, she would be thinking back on many times in the months to come where they'd be apart, but as for them going all the way, it wasn't even close to it.

She could wait, though, it wasn't that. After they'd said their goodbyes and she began making her way home, a new feeling slowly began to make its way through both her body and mind. A feeling of adventurousness for what was to come.

END OF CHAPTER TWENTY

Chapter Text

"Ça plane pour moi

Ça plane pour moi
Ça plane pour moi, moi, moi, moi, moi
Ça plane pour moi
Ouh-ouh-ouh-ouh
Ça plane pour moi!"

(Translation:

"Everything is grooving for me,

Everything is grooving for me,

Everything is grooving for me, me, me, me, me

Everything is grooving for me

Ouh-ouh-ouh-ouh

Everything is grooving for me!")

PLASTIC BERTRAND (From the album "An 1" (1978))

It was the first day of school after a Christmas vacation, that to Pacey had felt like it flew by way too fast and already, he'd begun it in his usual fashion by being late for his first class, thanks to his bicycle getting a flat tire on his way there. After a few seconds of cursing his bad luck, he'd put his chain lock on it and left it by the side of the road, to be picked up after school was over for the day and following this, made his way there on foot. Even if he walked as fast as he could, he knew that he'd still be at least ten minutes late and it starting to rain on the way there only served as the dot above the i, not to mention leaving him rather wet for the first classes of the day.

He'd only just gotten there, when he saw a pair of students that he hadn't seen before, a very slimly built blonde girl and an athletic looking dark-haired boy, who was getting told off by the girl.

"I can't be late for my first day of school, Jack! You only get one chance to make a first impression!" the girl, in a rather shrill voice, told the boy.

"Relax, Andie! You going into a panic won't help us find that classroom any sooner!" the boy, whom Pacey could now easily guess was named Jack, told the girl, who apparently was named Andie. It didn't seem to help, though and the poor girl looked like she was almost about to cry, as Pacey made his way over to them.

"New here?" he asked with a friendly smile and got a few in return from them.

"Please tell me that you know where room 46 is? We're completely lost!" Andie asked him.

"It's the exact same way, I'm heading. I'm Pacey, by the way" he introduced himself.

"I'm Jack and this bundle of veritable panic is my twin sister Andie. We've just moved here from Providence" Jack replied and the two boys shook hands.

"You can make new friends later, Jack! Right now, we desperately need to get to class!" the (kind of bossy) girl told her brother.

"It's this way" Pacey told them, before leading them up there.

After their US history class, most of which had gone in through one ear and out the other for him, it was time to get caught up with those, he hadn't talked to for a few days. One of them being Abby.

"Have you heard the latest gossip?" she asked him excitedly.

"No, and I can't say that I care all that much about it" he truthfully told her. The only gossip he would have wanted to hear was that Peterson had been fired, but since he'd just seen him moments earlier, that was clearly not the case.

"From what I've heard, Melissa is a lesbian" Abby told him with amount of glee, that didn't seem to fit with what her "news" were.

"You don't think it could just be Belinda wanting revenge for the public humiliation, she suffered at the beauty contest?" he asked and Abby (to his slight surprise), looked a little disappointed.

"I guess, you could be right. It wouldn't be out of character for her at all, to do that sort of stuff".

"Anyway, why would you care if she's a lesbian? It isn't like you're looking to date her, is it?" he joked.

"No, of course not!" Abby quickly replied, although it seemed to him like there was something, she wasn't telling him. Just then, a flustered looking Jack came over to them.

"I hate to do this, but we need your help finding our way to the next class again, Pacey" Jack said.

"Yeah, sure. This is Abby, by the way. Abby, meet Jack. Him and his sister Andie just started here today" Pacey introduced them to one another.

On the way there, he found out a little more about them. From what he gathered, it was only them and their mom, who'd moved down here, while their dad was still working in Providence. Andie seemed to love talking about him, but when it came to Jack, it was hard to get a single word out of him, until they switched the topic to talk about the school as a whole and what the siblings had to look forward to as students there.

Joey's first day of school in France wasn't going all that much better. Even if she was close to fluent in French, following her classes was still a lot harder, than it had been back home in Capeside and more than a few times, she'd felt like she was falling behind, when she had to spend a moment to translate something in her head, that one of her teachers had said. The way the other students were clearly scoping her out had her feeling like an outsider too and for the first half of the day, she could count those who had spoken to her on one hand.

Her trip over to France being on January 1st and her having to be at the airport in Boston early in the morning, had also meant that her New Year's Eve had been a pretty quiet affair, with Pacey, Jen and Dawson coming over to visit and them spending most of the evening either watching movies on TV or playing boardgames. Hugging them goodbye at the end of the evening had been an emotional experience and now where she was without them, it felt like she was missing a limb or something akin to it. Her host family, the Carpentier family (consisting of her host father Jaques, a 42-year-old journalist for one of the local newspapers in Joey's new home city of Toulouse, his 38-year-old Spanish-born wife Clara, who worked at a day-care center and last, but not least, their much-beloved cat Zizou) had been friendly with her from the second they'd picked her up at the airport (Zizou so much, that her host-parents joked that their cat had finally found it's soulmate). However, dealing with them would clearly be far less of a challenge, than it would to get the kids at school to give her a chance.

After sitting through her morning classes, it was time for her first lunch break and being the new kid at school also meant that where and who she sat with, could have an impact on how the rest of her time in France turned out. After being (rather impolitely) turned down at the first tables, she tried to sit at, she was already starting to wish that she was back in Capeside, where'd she'd be sitting with all of her friends and feeling like she was wanted there. Looking around, she only saw one student sitting alone, a black-haired girl with what Joey thought were cool-looking red stripes in it, that looked to be her own age. With no tables free in the cafeteria, she also looked like the best choice for a lunch companion.

"What in the sodding, bloody hell is this supposed to be?" Joey heard the girl swear to herself in a thick British accent, while looking down at her food, as Joey made her way over to her with her tray.

"Is it okay, if I sit with you?" she asked shyly, and the other girl lit up in a rather cute smile.

"Only, if it's okay with you that we stick to speaking English! I've had more than enough of France and the entire French language for one morning!" the girl sweetly replied, and Joey sat down across from her.

"My name is Josephine, but everyone calls me Joey" she introduced herself.

"Like the dumb one from "Friends?"

"Kind of, I'd just like to think that I'm more intelligent, than he is!" Joey joked back and it got a giggle out of the British girl.

"I can already tell that you are! Emma Jones, it's a pleasure to meet you, Joey" the girl said, and they smiled at one another. "You're American, aren't you?"

"Born and raised on the East Coast!" Joey answered, before getting stuck into her lunch meal, that only looked slightly more appetizing than a usual lunch meal in the Capeside High cafeteria.

"You'll have to pardon me, but my very limited knowledge of American geography leaves a lot to be desired! Just trying to remember what everything is called where I come from is enough of a challenge!"

"England, right?"

"The accent sort of gives it away, doesn't it? Nottingham, to be more exact."

"The birthplace of Robin Hood!" Joey quickly stated, since it was the sole thing, she'd ever heard about Emma's hometown.

"If he ever really existed, like they say he did. So, Josephine, who everyone calls Joey, from the American East coast. How did you end up over here?" the girl asked, and it didn't take many minutes for Joey to find out that she'd found a potential best friend in this slightly Punky looking English girl, who had also been feeling like somewhat of an outsider on this, her first day at their new school too.

Ever since the day of the "Miss Windjammer Contest", Abby had been finding herself regularly fantasizing about one of the girls, she'd seen there, in particular: Joey's old friend Melissa. It wasn't that there weren't other pretty girls at their school, plenty of them in fact, but there was something infinitely sexy to Abby about the way Melissa both looked and carried herself, and trying not to be too obvious over how she was checking her out was one of the hardest things, Abby had ever had to do.

"Could you want her more?" Jen teasingly asked, while they were standing by Jen's locker, with Melissa walking towards them, only a short distance down the hallway.

"Quiet, Jen! I don't want her to know!" Abby interjected and as Melissa passed by them, she shared a very shy smile with her. Jen's smile though, was one of knowing.

"Maybe, I should explain how the whole dating thing works, Abby! If you like someone and you want to get it on with them, you have to at some point tell them how you feel, or it'll never happen" Jen quipped, as Abby rolled her eyes at her.

"I know that much, duh! What if she ... isn't like me, if you catch my drift?"

"Do you get a "Vibe" from her, that she could be?"

"Kind of, but I'm still not entirely sure, if it isn't just myself imagining something, that I want to be true. It wouldn't be the first time it's happened, remember?"

"Then, go and ask her! It can't be that hard to find out!"

"I'm enough of an outcast as it is, without adding more to fuel the flames of those, who don't like me. Jen, I know that you've only been here for a short while, but if do anything to single yourself out around here, the so-called moral majority will pounce on you like a Puma attacking a helpless wilder beast!"

"Yeah, I know. If there's one thing they clearly aren't in short supply of around here, it's judgmentalism! You can't let that stop you!"

"I won't, it just a very delicate situation" Abby explained, while wrecking her mind with how to go about it. She couldn't just ask Melissa, could she?

Unbeknownst to herself, her chance would come before the end of the school day, when she saw Melissa being bullied in the hallway by a small group of her former "so-called friends" from the cheerleader squad, led by the queen of bitches herself, Belinda.

"Get out of here, you disgusting pervert!" Belinda taunted poor Melissa with.

"Dyke!" another girl chimed in with.

"Leave me alone!" Melissa panicking said, but doing so only made her bullies go even harder on her.

"No one wants you here, so go to hell, Melissa!" a third girl practically yelled, before pushing Melissa hard into the side of a locker. Seeing her chance, Abby made a brave decision to be the hero, for the first time in her fifteen years on earth.

"Why don't you try picking on me instead, Belinda? Or do you want everyone here to know what happened on our grade six field trip to that nature reserve?" Abby bravely said, in spite of knowing that Belinda was probably the last girl at their school, you'd want to make an enemy out of. Thankfully though, it turned Belinda and her cronies' attention away from Melissa, who was able to slip away unseen.

"You wouldn't!" Belinda taunted, while giving Abby a death-glare, that left no questions left unanswered.

"Try me!" Abby taunted back, standing her ground against their grade's Queen Bee.

"Say anything about it and I'll destroy you, Abby! You know that I'll do it!" Belinda fired back.

"I don't think, you will! In fact, I think that you'll leave Melissa alone from now on, if you know what's best for you!" Abby replied and after a few seconds of considering it, Belinda did indeed back down and stormed up the hallway, with her "devoted followers" trying to keep up with her. Shortly after they'd left, Melissa came out of hiding and came over to her.

"Why did you do that? You know that she won't stop and that all you've done is put yourself on the hitlist as well?" Melissa asked, still clearly a little upset over what had happened.

"Because it was about time, someone did! I seriously hate that girl!"

"You and me both!"

"Are you okay?" Abby asked, even if she from Melissa's body language could tell that she wasn't.

"Not really. I guess, this is what it feels like to be hated by everyone here. Not that it shouldn't be a familiar feeling to me" Melissa sadly answered.

"Not everyone! There is a small group of us, who don't want to let girls like Belinda set the agenda and stick together, outside of the usual cliques here. There's always room for one more in it and you already know a few of us, so I'm positive that they'll gladly let you join. Even if they don't want to, I'll just make them accept you in, anyway!" Abby assured Melissa, who looked almost ecstatic to be treated with a kindness like this.

"Not to be a busybody, but what happened on that field trip? It has to have been something big, or there's no way Belinda just would have backed down like that!"

"Let's just say that our dear friend Belinda had the kind of embarrassing accident, that you don't want people to hear about, ever!" Abby explained and the two girls shared a warm smile between them.

Thanks to the lousiness of his grades on his mid-terms, Pacey had already prepared himself for a likely visit to the principal's office sometime during the school day. It didn't mean that he was looking forward to it, though. Only to getting it over with.

"Pacey, I won't waste yours or my time by trying to wrap things in cotton for you ..." the principal began and already, Pacey was sending longing looks towards the door.

"I know that it's bad. I'll just have to shape up, is all" he tried saying, in a meek attempt to get this over with ASAP.

"I don't think you're entirely aware of just how bad it is. I've done the math and if you don't manage to at least pull home a B average for the rest of the school year, we'll have to hold you back a year, I'm afraid" the principal explained and although, he had suspected it, hearing it said this bluntly was still something, he wasn't ready to hear.

"Please, you can't!"

"With a D-plus average so far this year, after you only by the skin of your teeth didn't flunk last year? It's for your own good too, even if it doesn't feel that way to you right now. If you're having this much trouble getting through your sophomore year, you won't stand a fighting chance, when you get to your junior and senior years. What I think we should do is call in your parents for a meeting, where we can discuss what's best for you" the principal told him and if there was one thing Pacey wanted to avoid at all costs, it was getting his parents involved in this at a time, where simple communication between them seemed like an impossibility. It wasn't hard for him to picture that he could become the punching bag, stuck in the middle between two warring sides, unless he did something to stop this from happening.

"I'll do anything! Take extra classes, join some extra-curriculars, get a tutor, you name it! Please, there has to be something, I can do!" he imploringly said.

"It would look much better on your record, if you joined some extra-curriculars, so that's a start. It'll take a lot more than that, though. You'll have to change the entire way you approach your schoolwork".

"I can do it! Just give me three months and you'll see a huge change in my grades, I promise!"

"I can give you two months, but if we agree to this, I expect to see some drastic changes. If I don't ... well, we don't need to get into that again, do we?"

By the time he left the principal's office, one thing had become too clear to Pacey: That his time of slacking off in school would have to come to an end pretty much instantly, or he would have to deal with a very unpleasant alternative, that he didn't want to think about, so scary was it.

Joey's day, on the other hand, had taken a turn for the better, after she'd started getting to know Emma at lunch and although the two of them had their differences, she quickly began finding herself growing fond of this out-going girl from across the Atlantic. After school, they went to a cafe where they could talk in peace, not that all that many of those they went to school with spoke English anyhow, save for knowing the commonest terms.

"You still haven't told me why a girl, whose French isn't much better than my boyfriend's, ended up living here?" Joey asked, before taking a sip from her cup of Café au Lait.

"I got into a lot of trouble back home, after I fell in with what my parents like to call "The Wrong Crowd". It was either this or a going to a boarding school back home and at least here, I can just ignore people, when they try to pick on me for being different from them. Sometimes, not having a clue what people are saying about you is a blessing, trust me!" Emma explained and it wasn't like Joey couldn't relate to what she was saying.

"I would have loved to have had that going for me back home. People can be really cruel sometimes, am I right?".

"They were cruel towards you? Sorry, Joey, I just can't imagine that anyone would want to do anything even remotely bad, to a sweetheart like you!" Emma exclaimed.

"Unfortunately, my small hometown, as beautiful as it is on the surface, is also a place where you're considered guilty for the sins of your parents. Thanks to what my dad has done, my family is about as wanted there as a fart is in church!" Joey explained and it made Emma involuntarily giggle to hear her say it that way.

"Sorry, I know that I shouldn't laugh!"

"It's okay. I mean, I have my small family, some great friends and a boyfriend, who always treats me like a princess, so I shouldn't be feeling sorry for myself, when there are so many that have it so much worse, than I do".

"When you put it that way, it doesn't sound too bad. I'm still on the lookout for my first boyfriend but seeing as I can barely communicate with the boys down here, I'm not holding my breath for it happening sooner, rather than later!"

"Isn't all you need to know, how to do this?" Joey asked, before forming a round hole with her fingers on one hand and sticking a finger from the other through it. Once again, it was enough to get a hearty laugh out of Emma.

"I'm sure that we'll end up becoming great friends, before this semester is over, Joey! You seem like you're my kind of girl!" Emma smilingly said.

"I could say the same you!" was all that Joey answered and for the next hour or so, they talked about everything between heaven and earth, while the French coffee and the delicious, filled croissants kept flowing in an even stream.

After Melissa's run-in with Belinda and her gang of pom-pom swingers, she understandably stayed close to Abby for the rest of the school day and if there was one thing Abby didn't mind, it was acting like what had to be the world's smallest bodyguard for the girl, she was crushing hard on. Now that she was getting to know Melissa a little better too, it wasn't like her crush was beginning to go away. Like all wonderful things though, it had to come to an end and that end came when Abby had to report in for work at the Ice House, after Melissa had walked with her all of the way over there from their school.

"When do you get off work?" Melissa asked, as they were coming up to the door to the restaurant.

"Usually, a little after nine. Why?" Abby asked back.

"I was just thinking that I could come down here and we could hang out afterwards. Despite how it started out, I've really enjoyed myself with you today" Melissa said very cutely and Abby had to fight a whole lot of internal instincts, not to tell her then and there how gorgeous she thought Melissa was and about all of the, mostly naked, things she wanted so badly to do with her.

"I have too. I'd really like to, but I have homework to take care of. Part of the deal with me living with Bessie, Bodie and Alexander is that I try hard in school, and I don't want to disappoint them, either. I'm not working tomorrow though, so we can spend practically the entire day together, if you want to?" Abby offered back, to Mellissa's liking, it seemed.

"Sure, I'd love that! Abby, can I ask you something?"

"Go ahead. As long as it isn't school related, then you're asking the entirely wrong girl!" Abby joked and it looked like Melissa had to work up her courage for a moment, to ask the question that she wanted to ask.

"Are you ... because I'm kind of getting the feeling, that you are ... the same, as I am" Melissa stutteringly got out, like she was almost ashamed to be asking the question to someone.

"Are you talking about a three-letter-word, that begins with a G and ends with a Y, and isn't the word "Guy"? Because I think it should be kind of obvious, that I'm not one of those! A guy, I mean!" Abby answered, while the two of them stared deeply into one another's eyes.

"So ... now that we know that we're both ... one of those people ... what do we do about it?"

"I think, we just let nature play it's course and see, where it takes us. I should really get in there, or Bessie will chew me out for not being responsible again" Abby nervously said.

"Of course! You're really a fox, Abby, even if no one else can see it, except for me. Now, I can't wait for what tomorrow brings!" Melissa gladly said, before they waved goodbye to each other, and Abby headed inside.

"Making new friends, I see?" Bessie asked her, right after she'd reported in for work.

"Something like that" was Abby's cryptic answer and until she was sure that this would become more than her first real flirt with a fellow girl, she didn't want her new foster family to know any more about what was going on in her romantic life, than they absolutely had to. For the entirety of that shift however, she couldn't help herself from smiling all of the time and she saw no reason to stop with it.

After school, Pacey had to go to work at "Screen Time". Just to his luck, it wound up being a very busy day for a Monday and as for him getting any studying done, it wasn't nearly enough compared to the effort he'd have to start putting in, if he was to avoid getting held back a year. For most of the shift, he had Dawson there to help him, but with Dawson leaving an hour early to have a not-so-secret hook-up with Mary-Beth, he had the store to himself and hoped, this would mean that he could get some work done. It worked for him, to some extent, still with the massive amount of homework, he'd been given on his first day back, getting through all of it looked harder to him, than climbing Mount Everest without any climbing equipment or winter clothes would have been. He was just about to throw in the towel for the day and begin the locking up process, when the last customer of the day came into the store. It was Andie, Jack's sister, whom he'd so far talked to for less than two minutes, if you counted it up with the number of times they'd talked at school that day.

"Is it too late to rent a movie?" Andie asked him and although, he was in the right to say no to her (seeing as it was right before closing time), with how politely she'd asked, he didn't feel like he should refuse her request.

"Not as long as you know which movie that you want to rent, McPhee, because I have to close up soon" he quipped and the girl, whom he had to admit had a certain "Je ne sais qois" about her, smiled back at him.

"Just something nice and uncomplicated, that I don't have to think too hard to follow. A romantic high school comedy or something like that".

"You actually like school enough, that you want to think about it, even when you aren't there?" Pacey had to ask, since the concept was quite foreign to him.

"I've always loved school!" Andie cheerfully replied. "You don't?"

"I love it circa as much, as I do going to the dentist or getting a hard kick on the shin".

"You don't like going to the dentist either? I guess, we have something in common, then!" Andie quipped and now that they had a little bit of common ground to go by, he quickly found himself liking this girl.

"Okay, so romantic high school comedies! Let's see ... have you seen "10 Things I Hate About You"?"

"That doesn't sound like a very romantic movie, Pacey!"

"It's one of the few of them that I can stand to sit through. And it's extremely romantic, don't worry!" he assured her and from what he could tell, she seemed to like his answer.

"In that case, I think we have a hit on our hands!" Andie cheerfully joked and if there was one thing, he already liked about her, it was how optimistic she was for most of the time (just not, when she was late for her first class at her new school).

After he'd found the movie and as he was scanning it out, she caught a glimpse of his textbooks lying on his side of the counter.

"I guess, while you're here, you might as well get some studying done?" she asked while nodding towards his books.

"It isn't like I want to, believe me! Seeing as I'm being threatened with getting held back a year however, it isn't like I have much choice on it".

"I could help you out, if you want. It's really the least, I can do, after you've been so overly nice to me and my brother today" Andie offered and out of the alternatives, he'd been offered so far, getting tutored by her didn't feel like the worst one of them, by a long shot.

"Are you sure? You'll be dealing with a guy, who's only once gotten above a C on his report card" he told her truthfully, although it didn't seem to faze Andie one bit to hear it.

"We'll make a deal, okay? My brother Jack, for as much as I love him to death, is pretty bad when it comes to making new friends. To put it another way, he's absolutely terrible at it! If you could help him to fit in, in return for a little help with your schoolwork ..."

"Sure thing! Your brother seems like a really nice guy, I'm sure that I can help him to feel at home here in no time. In fact, it would be my pleasure!" he told her, before handing the video tape to her.

END OF CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE

Chapter Text

"Every time I think of you

I always catch my breath

And I'm still standing here

And you're miles away"

JOHN WAITE (From the album "No Brakes" (1984))

Sent: January 8th, 1999

From: Spielberg's Disciple

To: A Girl Named Joey

Subject: Just checking up.

Hi, Joey. If it wasn't already clear from my (brand-new) e-mail address, this is Dawson writing to you. How did your flight go and how have your first days in France been? I can't say that I don't think about you a lot or sometimes worry, if you're lonely over there. I sincerely hope that you aren't, have already started to feel like you're fitting in and perhaps even, have made a friend or two. Living in a Capeside without you in it, is like being stuck all of the time in an episode of "The Twilight Zone" and not one of the best ones either, those that you want to re-watch over and over again.

Pacey and I had a little "Movie Night Homage" at work to you yesterday, where we watched a few of your old favorites and believe it or not, I caught him fighting the tears over how much, he misses holding and kissing you. You know Pacey, as well as I do and why he wouldn't tell anyone in so many words, but I can honestly say that I've never seen him this broken up over anything before. The first days, he looked to be more or less okay, but it's obviously very tough on him and as his oldest friend, it's tough on me as well, to see him looking so down nearly all of the time. We're trying to band around him as much as we can, but we don't see him smiling nearly to the same degree, that he usually does. I'm sure that an e-mail from you will help to cheer him up immensely, if nothing else to be reminded of how much you love and care for him.

It should go without saying, but I miss you too and one of my favorite pastimes has become thinking back to the fun times we had as kids, when our small world still felt like it was simple and the long summers lasted for what felt like, it was an eternity. You shouldn't worry about me, though and I'd say that I'm doing pretty well, all things considered. My parents wanted me to say hi from them too, so now I've hereby done that.

Hoping that you've having fun and enjoying life in France to the fullest!

Dawson.

Sent: January 8th, 1999

From: A Girl Named Joey

To: Spielberg's Disciple

Subject: re: Just checking up.

Hi, Dawson! It's nice to hear that you're doing "pretty good" and be sure to say hi back to your parents from me. My flight was pretty uneventful and to my luck, the in-flight movies weren't all that bad either, so the hours flew by in no time. My new "home city" is called Toulouse and is roughly two and a half times the size of Boston (which, as you already know, is the only big city I'd ever been to, before this little adventure, I'm on now). I won't lie and say that it hasn't been a huge change for me, living in a tightly packed urban area, where everyone is stuffed together in such a small amount of space, when you're used to having as much breathing room around you, as we have back home in Capeside. There are plenty of nice parks here, but I miss having something resembling wild nature close to me all of the time.

I've somehow (and yes, I'm aware that it's a minor miracle!) managed to make my first friend already and we've hung out almost every day after school, since we first talked on my first school day here. Her name is Emma, she's our age, from England, totally awesome and like me, she's brand-new here and is trying to get used to living "The French Way". We have so much in common, that sometimes I can't help thinking if it's some higher power, that's made it so that we would end up meeting this way.

I'm sorry to hear (although, not all that surprised), that it's so hard for Pacey being without me. I miss him like crazy every hour of every day, so tell him to keep an eye out for an e-mail from me, that I'll send right after I've sent this one. Since working on computers aren't exactly his specialty, you might have to help him out a little, at least the first time or two. Whatever little things you can do to cheer that poor boy up, you know that you'll have my utmost appreciation for it.

We'll speak again soon!

Joey.

The first time Dawson heard the expression "You don't know what you've got, until it's gone" had been a handful of years earlier and except for thinking "Duh!" to himself, he hadn't paid it much mind. Now, where he was without Joey in his life, he kept hearing in his head, like an annoying song, that he couldn't stop from playing on repeat. Pacey was no doubt doing worse than he was, not that it was much in the way of consolation, but it helped in getting himself to feel far less sorry for himself, to see Pacey's moping face far more, than he would have liked to.

"What do think, Joey's doing now?" Pacey asked him, while they were unpacking boxes filled with the latest video releases at "Screen Time".

"Since it's still the middle of the morning, where she is, I'm guessing that she's at school" he answered, and it made Pacey sigh to himself.

"Doesn't knowing that make you feel even further separated from her emotionally, than you already physically are? I know that it does for me" Pacey asked sadly.

"A little. Then again, I don't know if I could miss her more, than I already am" Dawson replied truthfully.

"Trust me, you could! How am I supposed to get through six more months of this, without losing my mind or ..." Pacey said, before stopping himself from saying more.

"Or what?"

"Finding someone to take her place. I knew it would be tough being without her, but I guess, I never thought it would be this close to impossible to deal with. It's like a vital part of me isn't there and I can't do anything to replace it. You know that I'd never do anything to hurt Joey, if there's any way, I can avoid it and if was ever to, God forbid it, cheat on her, I'd feel like the worst guy in the world afterwards. Still ..."

"You miss having her here so much, that you're in danger of it. For the record and saying this as perhaps the one, who knows you better than anyone does, I don't think you could bring yourself to do it, should it come down to that" he finished his friend's sentence. "Maybe, what you're truly missing is just someone to be there for and if you can find that, you'll be alright. Have you considered that?"

"It could be true, I suppose. The only question is: who could that be?" Pacey asked rhetorically, just as the bell rang and a customer came into the store. Turning around, they saw Andie, that constantly ultra-cheerful and super-perky new girl at school, coming towards them with some tapes, she was looking to return. Pacey (in a huge contrast to how he usually acted, when any other customer came into the store) was quick to spring to action and seeing her brought a smile out of his old pal, even if it only was a small one.

"Returning some tapes, McPhee?" Pacey asked Andie, who was one big smile, like she always was, whenever she got the chance to talk to him.

"You should know which ones it was. They were all chosen based on your suggestions, after all" Andie cheerfully replied, as she handed them to Pacey, who right away started scanning them back into their system.

"Since you clearly haven't come in here to complain, I'm guessing that they were to your liking?" Pacey asked and if Dawson hadn't known better, he could swear that the two of them were in the middle of playing some kind of mating game with one another.

"Every one of them! What can I say, Pacey? You already know what I like and don't like!" Andie chirped back and perhaps for the first time since Joey had skipped town, Pacey looked like he was genuinely glad to be told something.

"As if you make it all that hard to tell, Andie? If you need any replacements for these, you'll always know who to ask".

"Not today, I'm afraid. I have a big pile of homework to get through, so distractions aren't what I'm looking for! I'll be in here again tomorrow, don't you worry! Oh, hi Dawson! I almost hadn't seen you there!" Andie friendly said, finally noticing him.

"Hi there, Andie. How are you?" he asked, getting a big smile in return.

"Can't complain, not that I ever can! You?"

"Not doing too bad. Especially not now, where someone has finally managed to put a smile back on Pacey's face. It's kind of depressing, working with a guy who's looking like his dog just got run over, all of the time, if you didn't know!" he answered, while sending a teasing glance Pacey's way.

"Like you're a bundle of joy all the time, Dawson?" Pacey annoyedly asked back, with a "don't bring it up again" kind of facial expression to him.

"I am, more than you are, not that it's saying much these days! Thanks for cheering him up, Andie. He could really use more of it!"

"It's my pleasure, although I don't know what I'm doing different from what everyone else has tried. I should get going, my brother is waiting for me. See you guys tomorrow!" she smilingly said, before leaving the store.

"Why did you have to tell her that?" Pacey asked him, before getting back to work.

"Tell her what? That the only times I see you smiling these days, is when you're talking to Andie? Is there something going on there, I should know about?" he inquired, before getting a look of dismissal from Pacey in return.

"She's so positive all of the time, that it's humanly impossible not to be cheered up, when you talk to her. That's all that's going on, I assure you!" Pacey stated, ending their conversation on the topic in an instant.

In spite of what Pacey was trying to make him (and maybe also himself) believe, Dawson had a sneaking suspicion that if there hadn't been a Joey in the picture, it wouldn't have taken long for his old friend and Andie to become much more than "just friends".

"He has a girlfriend, you know?" Andie's brother Jack scolded her on the walk back to their house.

"She isn't here, is she?" she answered him back and could see, this wasn't the answer that her brother wanted to hear.

"Andie ..."

"I know what you'll say! That he's in love with her and I won't stand a chance with him. You just don't know him, like I do!" she replied, as if trying to make herself believe that any other scenario was the case. "He needs someone like me, just like ..."

"You need someone like him? I'm only trying to look out for you, like a brother should" Jack answered and she knew, he was telling the truth. Ever since they were little kids, he'd been her protector and the only one who always, with no exceptions, would put her needs ahead of his own.

"If she cared as much about him, as she should with an awesome boyfriend like him, do you think she'd be on the other side of the world right now? She doesn't deserve having a boyfriend like him, if she's ready to leave him here, all by himself!"

"How is that fair of you to say, when you haven't met her? Either way, from what I've found out from talking to him, it doesn't seem to me like he's anything close to the cheating type. What's more than that, do you really want to be known as "the other girl"? Jack said, letting her know precisely how he felt on the subject.

"Sometimes in this world, it's a case of "Finder's keepers, loser's weepers"! There's bound to be plenty of other girls, who'll try to take advantage of the situation, so why shouldn't I?"

"Because I know you far too well, to know that it isn't who you are".

"You don't know everything about me, Jack! I could have a deeply hidden dark side, you know about!"

"No, you don't, Andie! Just for argument's sake, let's say that everything works out like you want it to and Pacey dumps his girlfriend to be with you. I'll bet you a million bucks, that when she comes home and you'll have to face the girl, whose love of their life, you stole away from her, you'll feel like the lowest of the low. It's called having a conscience and you simply don't have it in you, to do that to anyone. Not even a girl you haven't met" Jack said imploringly and for as little, as Andie wanted to admit it, she also knew that her brother was very likely to be right.

That evening, after he'd gotten home from work, Dawson had some soul searching to do of the most major kind, over what to do about his situation girl-wise. In truth, he had zero reasons to be anything, except for thrilled with how his relationship with Mary-Beth was going. They thought alike for the most part, she was easy on the eyes and when it came to the girls his own age presently residing in Capeside, there weren't any of them that he'd rather be dating than her. He should have been thrilled to have been lucky enough, that a girl like her liked him back and now, where he'd done all of the leg-work to get this far with her, he ought to have been enjoying his life, with little else to worry about, except for getting good grades and the occasional spat he had with a fellow student, or an unhappy customer at the store and even those were very few and far between. All of it would have been close to perfection, if there hadn't been one major issue overclouding all of it: Every time he kissed her, images of Joey began flashing through his mind.

He couldn't decide with himself, what it was that made it happen. It wasn't like he hadn't accepted long ago, that she'd chosen Pacey for her first real boyfriend. If nothing else, seeing Pacey looking so glum most of the time over how much he was missing the girl, he'd given his heart to, should have been enough of a reason why he was thankful that it wasn't him, who was stuck in that situation. He could only imagine what kind of turmoil was going on inside of the mind of his oldest friend and could easily see how, if it had been himself, it would be driving him crazy on a daily basis. Why then, when there were so many "Shoulds" involved and he had so many reasons to not want it to be himself, did he found himself longing for Joey, like he never had before?

When he looked back at it now, he'd taken for granted that she'd always be there, like a security blanket is for a little kid. He'd known (maybe not for sure, but close to it) that before Pacey and her had become a couple, she'd fancied him and if he had only chosen differently and decided on going for her instead of trying his luck with Jen, it would surely have been himself, who'd had the honor of being the first one to pick an apple off the figurative tree, that was the amazingly beautiful Joey Potter. He'd had his reasons not to and they were well thought out reasons too, but the more he thought about it, the more he was realizing what a fool he'd been a few months earlier. His plan then had been to let the Joey/Pacey relationship play itself out and to be honest, he hadn't expected them to even make it this far. Now that they had however, and it didn't look like the end was anywhere in sight for them, there was a real chance that he'd never get his chance with her and that thought scared him.

After deciding that he'd wallowed enough in his own misery for one evening and feeling on the peckish side, he decided to make his way down to the kitchen to make himself a sandwich before bedtime. When he came down there, he found his mom working over a cup of coffee on yet another pitch for a news story, that like most of the other ones she'd come up with, would most likely not make it to air on their small local TV station, where she worked as a news anchor.

"Isn't drinking caffeine right before bedtime exactly what they tell you to avoid?" he asked, as he made his way over to the fridge.

"It's de-caf. You shouldn't be eating this close to bedtime, you know?" she asked back in that typical "Parents Know Best" tone, that they always liked to use in situations like this one.

"It's just a sandwich. What kind of story are you working on?" he inquired, although he was more interested in getting his sandwich made, than what her story was about.

"Just a piece on how hard it can be, to have to fit into a new place. I'm trying to use Joey as my inspiration, but it isn't working for me so far. Have you heard from her?"

"I got an e-mail from her today. She's doing alright by the sound of it and says hi" he told his mom, while trying to decide on whether to use ham or salami as the "star" of his evening-time snack.

"That's nice for her. Do you miss her yet?"

"I have since I said goodbye to her on New Year's Eve, but I'm far from doing as bad, as Pacey is".

"Poor Pacey! One of my best friends, when I was your age, had a boyfriend, who left to become an exchange student in Argentina. I still remember how badly, she missed him and they weren't nearly as love with one another, as Joey and Pacey are. I'm afraid that in this situation, all you can do is try to be the best friend that you can to him and hope, it'll be enough" his mom said and for once in a rare while, Dawson felt like picking her mind a little.

"Do you remember what you did?"

"You mean, to help her out?"

"You have to admit that the situations are kind of similar, country and gender aside" he said, before sitting down with his sandwich across from her at the kitchen table.

"Doesn't Pacey have a birthday coming up soon? If you throw him a party with all of his friends there, wouldn't that help?" she asked and with all of the things that had been going on in his life, he had to admit that he'd practically forgotten all about it.

"It's next week, from what I remember. It isn't like he has a ton of friends either, so it wouldn't be too much of a problem to set up" he mused to himself.

"There you go! Nothing and I mean nothing, helps someone to get over a bit of heartache, then feeling like they're beloved. Believe me, it works every time!" his mom told him and with himself not being able to come up with anything better, it also looked like the best option, he had.

If he was really lucky, it would even make him feel less bad for spending so much time pining over his best friend's girlfriend.

Andie was thinking about Joey and Pacey too, as she laid in bed that evening, tossing and turning to try to find some sleep. She was now sure, that her brother had been right on the money, when he'd told her that she would be feeling guilty as sin, should something more happen between herself and Pacey, than just them being study buddies. If there was such a thing as a type of girl, she didn't particularly like, it was boyfriend stealers and becoming one of them wasn't on her list of things, she wanted to try in life.

The one time before, when she had broken the rules had been when she was ten and, after being dared to for several days up to it by her brother, had stolen a peach from their neighbor's peach tree. It hadn't taken more than a minute for her to feel so guilty, that she ran back there and begged for forgiveness. With her having felt that terrible over taking something as innocent as a peach, that wasn't hers, thinking that she could bring herself to stealing another girl's boyfriend should have been out of the question. It would have been too, if it wasn't for the many conflicting emotions, that were also the ones keeping her from getting some shuteye.

The other side of that coin was how Pacey made her feel, whenever they talked and how no one before had made her feel that sweet warmth in her belly, like he did. Perhaps even, he wouldn't run away, when he found out about how screwed up her family life was, like she was well aware that most guys would have. That alone made him one of a kind and knowing this, wouldn't it also be insane to give up on him without trying first, even if there was a girlfriend on the other side of the world in the picture? She could make him just as happy, as this other girl did, that much she was sure of.

By the time she finally fell asleep, it wasn't like she'd come any closer to reaching a conclusion on what to do about this, the first big crush she'd experienced in her life.

END OF CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO

Chapter Text

"Friends will be friends

When you're in need of love

They give you care and attention"

QUEEN (From the album "A Kind of Magic" (1986))

Sent: January 12th, 1999

From: That Witter Guy

To: A Girl Named Joey

Subject: My birthday and how little I'm looking forward to it

Hi, Honey. As you know, my birthday is only a few days away and from what I can tell, no one seems to remember that it's coming up. Dawson hasn't mentioned it at all and when I brought it up to my mom, all she said was that with the lawyer bills thanks to the divorce, we won't be able to afford throwing me a party. Maybe it's for the best, because it doesn't feel like I have anything worth celebrating during these depressing days, where all I do most of the time is miss the heck out of you.

With me having to maintain a B average for the rest of the school year, I've had to study a lot harder lately and you know how I feel about doing too much studying. Right now, it still feels like it's impossible to achieve, but there's a new girl at school named Andie, who's kind of like you in many ways, that's been helping me out in return for me helping her brother Jack to fit in. Hopefully, with a whole lot of help from her, I'll be able to somehow get that B average and avoid getting held back. Jack is a cool guy and kind of the artsy type, like you used to be, so I can only imagine that you'll get along with him splendidly. Jen seems to love talking to him and they've hung out alone a few times, so I'm not entirely sure if she doesn't already have a crush on him. With Jen's bad luck in love though, I wouldn't be all that surprised if it ends up as yet another round of big disappointment for her.

I really didn't mean for this to come off sounding as bleak as it became, when I started writing this and I don't want to ruin things for you over there in France, where you have your own problems to worry about. Just know that I love you more than life itself and I think about you all of the time.

Your (longing far too much for you) boyfriend.

Pacey.

Sent: January 13th, 1999

From: A Girl Named Joey

To: That Witter Guy

Subject: re: My birthday and how little I'm looking forward to it

Hi there, you wonderful hunk of man! I'm missing you too, like you wouldn't believe and while I'm not counting down the days to us seeing each other again just yet (it would make me feel too down, with how long it is until then), you're in my thoughts most of the time, if not all of it. France is slowly starting to agree more with me with every passing day and my host family is really nice, but there are still moments where the longing for you becomes almost too much to bear. Luckily, I have my new friend Emma to hang out with and take my mind off how much I miss you, or I'm pretty sure that I'd be starting to feel homesick already.

You have to do something to celebrate your sweet sixteen, even if life doesn't feel all that sweet to you right now. You know that I'll still love you no matter what and that I didn't choose you for your academic talents, so if you do get held a year back, please don't feel like it's the end of the world or anything like that. Whatever happens, we'll get through it together, I promise, and which grade you're in won't change anything between us. You're still the only guy in the world for me, don't ever forget that!

I love you, love you, love you, love you, love you!

Your very own Joey.

Sent: January 13th, 1999

From: A Girl Named Joey

To: Spielberg's Disciple

Subject: Pacey's birthday.

Hi, Dawson. Have you forgotten all about Pacey's birthday? It's only a few days away, remember?

Sent: January 13th, 1999

From: Spielberg's Disciple

To: A Girl Named Joey

Subject: re: Pacey's birthday.

Something is in the works, that if all goes right should cheer him up. Don't tell him anything, because it's a surprise.

Party planning had never been Dawson's strong side and for that reason, he'd decided to ally himself with Jen in planning Pacey's upcoming surprise birthday party. After she'd been invited to it, however and after her having told her new "Replacement Joey" Jack McPhee about it, Jack's sister Andie had asked if she could join in as well. This was what had led to them now being in Dawson's room and trying to make a list of who to invite.

"What about Pacey's family? Shouldn't we invite them?" Andie asked, after she'd quickly prepared a sheet of paper with the headline "Pacey's B-Day Party" written at the top of it, with a crudely drawn birthday cake underneath the writing.

"With his parents still not being on speaking terms? I could easily see it turning into a drunken horror show, if we invited them" he answered, and it made Andie look worried on Pacey's behalf. If this girl wasn't having the crush of a lifetime on his best friend, then she was surely doing a great job at pretending that she was.

"They're really that bad?" Andie asked sadly and both himself and Jen nodded in unison.

"I haven't met his older sister Gretchen yet, but from what I can tell from talking to him, she's the only one that he has a healthy relationship with out of the lot of them. You should hear how his brother and dad talk to him sometimes, Andie. It's perhaps the only times, I don't feel as bad as usual, over how messed up my own family is" Jen sadly answered her.

"What about his mom?" Andie asked.

"With everything that's been going on lately in regard to her divorce from Pacey's dad, I doubt it if she even remembers, that it's her son's birthday. His dad might, if Doug reminds him of it enough times, but I wouldn't bet my lifesavings on it" Dawson replied to her. When it came to the lottery of which family, you were born into, his best buddy had been given a pair of duds, if anyone in Capeside had.

"That's so sad!" Andie exclaimed, while looking like she genuinely felt bad on Pacey's behalf. It made Jen and Dawson smile slyly at one another over how blatantly obvious it was, that this girl had "far more than just friendly" feelings for Pacey.

"Okay, so party guests. Let's see ..." he began a train of thought, that he wasn't sure where he was going with.

"There's the three of us and my brother, so that's a start" Andie said, while she was writing down their names on her sheet of paper.

"We should invite his brother and sister, or they'd be disappointed. Even if they can't come, I'm sure that they'd want to send him a greeting of some sort" he chimed in with and Andie was quick to write their names down.

"There's Abby and ..." Jen began and clearly couldn't think of more names to add to their list. Neither could any of the others.

"Is that really it, as far his friends go?" Andie threw out there.

"There's my parents, if they count. I know for sure that Bodie and Bessie like him, but they'll either be too busy at the restaurant or with babysitting Alexander, to attend a party with a small bunch of teenagers. I guess, that's it!" Dawson thought out loud and if they couldn't make the guest list grow by at least a few more people, it wouldn't be right to call it more than a small gathering at the most.

"I feel so bad for Pacey, that he doesn't have more friends here" Andie told her brother, while they were in the bathroom and getting ready for school the day after.

"It wasn't like either of us had a boatload of friends back in Providence either" Jack mumbled, still with his toothbrush in his mouth and trying to put on a pair of socks at the same time, while she was using the sink.

"We still had more of them, than he has. I'm starting to get the feeling that he's always been an outsider here".

"In that case, you should make the perfect couple!" Jack joked, though the smile on her face must have put other thoughts in his mind, since it put a frown on his. "And by that, I didn't mean that you should try to steal him away from that Joey girl! I'd like to think that I've made my feelings perfectly clear on that subject!"

"Like there isn't something in the air, when it comes to you and Jen. I've seen the way she looks at you. It reminds me of the way Kate used to back home, before you guys broke up!" she told him teasingly.

"She's just a friend!" Jack tried interjecting.

"Give it a month and then, we'll see! She's cute, you two clearly find talking to each other very easy and she's been nothing, except for extremely nice towards the both of us, since we got here. So, what's the problem?" she inquired, even if this clearly wasn't a subject he felt like debating.

"It's a guy thing! I wouldn't expect you to understand!" he told her in an unequivocal tone that ended the topic in an instant.

It was only moments later that their mother Andrea came in there with a confused look on her face.

"Have any of you seen Tim this morning? I've looked all over the house, and I can't find him!" she bewilderedly asked, and it made the twins look at one another in a way that said "Please, not Again!".

"Mom, Tim is ..." Jack began, until Andie felt the need to stop him.

"Away at college. Don't you remember, mom? He finished high school ages ago!" she told her mom, who lit up in a smile.

"Of course, silly me! Do you need me to drive you two to school today?" she asked in such a kind and friendly way, that they couldn't say no to her.

"Sure, mom. Give us five minutes and we'll be ready to go, I promise" Andie told her and after them smiling at one another, her mom left them alone.

"What if we get pulled over by the cops and they find out that she isn't allowed to drive on the heavy medication, she's on?" Jack asked and while it hadn't crossed Andie's mind, the alternative would still be worse.

"It's a risk, I'm willing to run, everything considered. Anyway, do you want to stay here with her all day and listen to her again refusing to understand, that Tim died in that accident last year? We both know that neither of us will get her to accept it yet, so it's just easier this way" she answered, not wanting to talk about this more than she had to.

"We can't go on like this forever, Andie! At some point, she'll have to start accepting that he's gone, and he isn't coming back from the grave!"

"That point isn't now, where we have to be at school in a little over half an hour!" she told him off, before storming off to her room, to see if she could avoid crying again over the loss of the older brother, who had meant so much to both of them and still now, was the reason why their little family was constantly on the brink of falling apart.

After he was done dressing himself and getting his teeth brushed, Jack came in to join her.

"I'm so sorry, if I made you upset. You know that I miss him as much, as anyone does" he told her calmly, before sitting down next to her.

"Her children are her entire life, Jack. You can't expect her to get over something that traumatic so quickly. It takes years of nurturing and understanding, to get that far".

"I'm trying all that I can to be understanding, Andie, I really am. Dad should be the one dealing with this, not us! That sorry sack of sh ..."

"Don't say something, you'll regret later!"

"How is this fair on us, Andie? He's far away, hiding out from the problems with mom, that we're forced to face every day and instead of being here to help out, like he knows perfectly well that he should be, he's left you and me to be stuck with picking up the broken pieces of what's left of our family! He's a selfish prick, you just don't want to admit it to yourself!"

"Someone has to keep bringing in the money, so we have something to survive on" she tried arguing, even if she knew that she was making excuses for a man, who didn't deserve her making excuses on his behalf.

"With the kind of resumé he has, I'm more than certain, that he could have easily found a well-paying job in his field in Capeside. He just doesn't want to, because it's easier for him to leave his mess, for us to deal with. You don't still see Tim, when he isn't actually there, do you?" he asked, looking very concerned for her.

"Not for months now, I assure you. Seriously, it isn't me, you should be worried about" she tried telling him, although him worrying about her didn't look like it would change for a good while to come.

"As your twin brother and with all that we've gone through, it's my sworn duty to worry about you, Andie. It's something, you'll just have to accept, and I won't hear another word about it!" he told her with a wry smile and after a small comforting side hug, they made their way off to school.

Dawson had spent the first part of the morning wrecking his head with who else, he could invite to Pacey's birthday. He could ask his girlfriend Mary-Beth to come and know that she'd be more than welcome, but it wasn't like her and Pacey knew each other all that well, or ever talked to one another, if he wasn't there with them. The only other names, he could come up with were Chris Wolfe, whom Pacey sometimes talked to at school, but if he invited him, then Jen would surely boycott the party, just so that she wouldn't have to deal with him hitting on her all evening long and Melissa, whom Pacey hadn't talked to more than a few times since grade seven. Even if her and Abby were starting to get all kinds of chummy lately, after Abby had (quite bravely, he had to admit) saved her from Belinda's bullying, it wasn't like you could say that Melissa and Pacey knew each other anymore, aside from as a pair of classmates.

"Why so glum, chum?" Abby cheerfully asked him, when they happened to be sitting next to one another and waiting for their next class to begin.

"Don't tell him, but I'm trying to put together a surprise party for Pacey's birthday".

"Ooh, I love surprise parties! I mean, I've only ever been to one before, but it was pretty fun, from what I remember. Who's on the guest list, aside from myself, whom I'm assuming should be expecting an invite soon?".

"Not all that many and that's the problem. Then there's the issue of if I invite this person, will it make someone else not want to come? All I have to say is that I'm glad, I won't have to do this every week!" he frustratedly told her.

"Can I invite Melissa? Her and Pacey used to be friends after all, so maybe this could be the perfect opportunity to rekindle that friendship" she joyfully suggested and it didn't sound like the worst idea, he'd ever heard.

"Yeah, sure you can. You two are becoming close in record time, aren't you?" he asked out of curiosity, since the two girls were hanging out so much that they'd already been given the joint nickname "Abbyssa", by some of their classmates.

"What can I say? She's a hell of a girl, that one!" Abby smilingly replied and it made him smile to himself, that after all of the BS Pacey had told him about that poor girl having to go through and still was going through with her truly awful parents, she'd managed to find someone that she liked so incredibly much and also liked her back, like Melissa very obviously did in the same way.

Soon after, their teacher (which to his luck for this class was "Miss Foxy") arrived and it gave him something else to think about for the next close to an hour.

Andie had, for once in a rare while, had trouble concentrating on her schoolwork that day. It was thanks to all of the thoughts racing through her head, mostly about her mom, whom Andie had to come to grips with, wasn't progressing to nearly the same degree that her doctors hoped, she would have been by now. The first half year after Tim's death had been like a nightmare that wouldn't end for all of them and the visions of him, where it would feel like he was right there with her, when he was in reality long gone, had only made it all that harder to move on for her. At first, she'd kept them to herself (also because mental illness ran in her mother's side of the family and she didn't want to be stamped as "Crazy" by anyone), until it had led to her being at her wit's end and she knew better than anyone, that she never wanted to go to a place that dark within herself ever again. Thanks to the pill cocktail that her shrink in the psychiatric hospital she'd stayed at for a few months, had put her on, the visions had gone away altogether and compared to where and who she was before Tim's far too soon exit from this world, she could say finally that she was coming close to something resembling a full recovery. While she was aware that life would never be the exact same for any of them, as it was before she lost her older brother, there was a deep-seeded desire in her to move on that had kept her going, even throughout the worst parts of the unbelievably rough year, she'd just survived through. To know that her mother still hadn't progressed much at all past those first few months of trying to comprehend that she'd lost a son, filled Andie with a sense of dread that the mother, she loved as much as life itself, might never fully recover and in the worst-case scenario, would have to once again be admitted to a psychiatric hospital, where she could be given around the clock care. Even if it could be the best for her mother logically speaking, she wasn't ready to be without any of her parents at all yet and on top of that, she was starting to greatly enjoy living in this small coastal town.

Capeside was a fresh start for both her and Jack, who said that he kept seeing "The Ghost of His Brother" (not literally, thankfully) everywhere in Providence and after their father had been suggested by their mother's doctors, that moving their mom from the hustle and bustle of the city, back to the small town that she'd grown up in, could prove positive in her recovery, they'd both been fully on board with it instantly. Of course, it had been a little bittersweet and nostalgic to say goodbye to the only place they'd ever called home, but there was also a silent agreement between them and their dad, that this was something that they simply had to do, for their mother's recovery's sake. She'd been a bit worried over, not so much herself making friends (since her cheery nature usually made it pretty easy for her), but more for Jack, who could be painfully shy and it could be almost impossible to get to open up, when it came to people, he didn't already know. Probably for that reason, his entire social circle (with the exception of herself) had consisted of two boys that he'd known since kindergarten and Kate, who'd been the girl next door since they were around eight or nine and also, Andie's best friend aside from her brother. If it hadn't been for herself pushing Jack in the right direction, it's unlikely that they would have ever dated and when they found out that he would have to break it off with Kate, she'd thought that he would have been a lot more broken up about it, than he seemed to be. Instead, he'd looked relieved when he'd told her that he'd broken up with Kate, which at the time had felt a little cold to her, considering how long they'd dated and that he'd known Kate since they were kids. But, at the same time, she was also glad that he was embracing the idea of starting off with a clean slate somewhere else, where they wouldn't have the darkness of the past, following them everywhere they went. She could already tell how the change had begun to greatly affect him in a positive way and him quickly finding a like-minded soul in that really sweet Jen girl (who was clearly crushing big time on him, by the way!), gave her hope that their future from now would consist of nothing but bright skies ahead for their family.

If only it hadn't been for those dark skies always looming within visibility range, she would have believed it with all of her heart, too.

END OF CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE

Chapter Text

"Strange days have found us
Strange days have tracked us down
They're going to destroy
Our casual joys
We shall go on playing
Or find a new town"
THE DOORS (From the album "Strange Days" (1967))

Sent: January 15th, 1999

From: Jen Rocks

To: A Girl Named Joey

Subject: I miss you so much!

Hi, Joey. Now that the first few weeks without you here has passed, I can safely say one thing: This town just isn't the same to me without you here! A few things have happened lately, that I can fill you in on, including a potential improvement on the sad and pathetic status of my love-life.

I told you about Abby and Melissa and their budding romance in my first e-mail to you. They're so adorable together, that I could just die! A few days ago, myself, Andie and Jack (more on him later) went to the movies with them to see "Shakespeare in Love" and I caught them romantically holding hands in the dark, so expect to get lots of more news on that front in the coming months. I don't think they've reached the kissing stage yet, but my sixth sense tells me that they aren't far from it. Mostly, I'm just ecstatic on Abby's behalf that she's found a girl who's both "like she is" and she clicks with so incredibly well.

Believe it or not, I'm actually making a new friend on my own! Well, sort of, since it was Pacey that introduced us to one another. His name is Jack, he just started here at the beginning of this semester and I'm not exaggerating when I'm telling you that he's so hot, that he could be a model, if he wanted to! Seriously, he's by far the biggest hunk, I've ever met in real life! I can't say that if he wanted to ask me out, I wouldn't say yes in a heartbeat (it isn't like the rest of the selection here is anything to write home about, not that I needed to tell you) and from what I can tell so far, he's just as single, as I am. There's a dance coming up in a handful of weeks and I'm planning on asking him to go with me "as a friend", but if he wants to be more than that, I'm game all the way! We have so much in common, that so far it feels like I've found my soulmate in him, so keep your fingers, toes and everything else crossed for me!

His sister Andie (real name Andrea) has started here as well, but I haven't talked to her as much, as I have with him. She loves school even more than you do, not that I thought it was possible! Apart from that, I don't know all that much about her so far, but she's been helping Pacey out with his schoolwork, and she already has him working harder, than I've seen him work on his schoolwork before. The only thing that worries me is that she's clearly beginning to crush on him (not that I can blame her lol!), but at the same time, I'm sure that he wouldn't dream of doing anything to hurt you.

That's about all of the news I have this time! Everyone you know say hi and we can't wait to have you back home with us again!

XOXO

Jen

Sent: January 15th, 1999

From: A Girl Named Joey

To: Jen Rocks

Subject: I miss you too!

Hi, Jen. It's so nice to hear that you've finally found a guy that you like in Capeside (that isn't named Pacey) and I can't wait to meet him, if he manages to live up to your high standards for a potential boyfriend! Pacey wrote that he likes him too, so he has some big appraisals to live up to, when I'll finally get to meet him lol! I'm thrilled for Abby too, although I could easily see them having lots of obstacles in their way. Over here, they're more accepting of gays, than they are in our hometown and there are a handful of (relatively) open same sex couples at my school. From what I can tell, it isn't like they're getting harassed or anything like that, like I know that they would have most likely been back home in Capeside. I can only hope for Abby and Melissa's sake, that they won't get treated too badly by the "moral majority". I haven't always been friends with those two, but I still think that they both deserve all of the happiness, that can come to them.

You have me a little worried over this Andie girl, though! We both know that Pacey is sometimes too nice for his own good and if she really likes him, like you think that she does, I could see it being tough for him to say no to her. Is there any way, you could find out for sure, perhaps? I trust him, it's not like that, but it would be nice to know for sure.

So far, it's been a huge learning experience over here and their school system is completely different from ours, but I'm quickly getting the hang of it. Luckily, I have Emma (the British girl, I told you about in my last e-mail) to help me through it and this past Sunday, we went to a soccer game (what they call football over here. As I've come to find out, you should never call it soccer in front of a European, or they won't have a clue what you're talking about!) with our local team, that plays in the top French division. Even though it was freezing cold, and I can't say that I know much about soccer (I still don't have a clue how the offside rule works, for one thing!), it was still a fun experience to be in a stadium filled of people singing their club songs. Seeing as "our team" also won, by far the most of them left happy as well. Emma, just from being English, grew up with the game, so she's teaching me about the finer points of it and in return, I'm helping her with becoming better at speaking French. She's really cool, and I just know that you two would become friends in no time.

Au Revoir for this time! (I don't know what "XOXO" means, so please explain it to me in your next e-mail!)

Joey.

To feel damned if you do and damned if you don't. That tired old phrase perfectly summed up, how Jack McPhee felt about his life at this stage of it. One the plus side, the peaceful surroundings of his new town were quickly beginning to calm his nerves, at least over some things in his life. That his twin sister wasn't constantly on the cusp of a mental breakdown anymore, had taken an enormous load off his mind and also meant, that for the first time since his older brother Tim was torn away from them in the most brutal way thinkable, he was in a position to start doing whatever he wanted to do again, without having to feel guilty over it taking away time, he could have spent trying to keep their family together. While their mom was still in a serious state of denial over Tim's death, he hoped that the worst of what they would go through as a family had passed by and it was time to begin looking towards the future again. Best of all was that Capeside, a small town that he'd only heard of here and there in passing before this, also happened to be populated by a small group of friends, who had welcomed himself and Andie practically with open arms from day one.

Most of them, he was still only in the beginning of getting to know, like the movie nerd Dawson, his highly intelligent, but painfully shy girlfriend Mary-Beth or Jen's rather stylish friend Abby. So far however, they all seemed to him like people, that he wouldn't have the slightest issue getting along with. Out of the boys, Pacey was the one he'd talked the most with so far and he seemed to Jack like a down-to-earth type of guy, kind of like himself and the few close friends, he'd had back in Providence. Talking to Pacey came natural and he could easily see them becoming long-time buds, if himself and Andie ended up staying in Capeside for the rest of high school.

Finally, there was Jen, who'd gravitated towards him almost instantly and besides being very easy to talk to, she wasn't like everyone else at school, since she'd only been living in Capeside for under half a year, after having moved there from New York. The "Small-Town Disease" therefore wasn't in her (yet, at least) and it shone through brightly in comparison to the rest of his fellow students in just about everything, she did. In every way, she should have been everything he was looking for in a girlfriend and she was more than pretty enough too, it wasn't like that. His only problem was that for as much as he tried to, he just couldn't get turned on by her. Whenever he tried to picture himself doing erotic things with her (in those moments that he'd never told his sister or parents about!), his thoughts would twist and turn into himself doing things with another guy and on most occasions, it would make him shamefully stop what he was doing. Sometimes however, he couldn't help himself and continued on pleasing himself to thoughts, that a great part of him wished didn't turn him on as much, as they did.

"Do you and Andie want to go together with me on a last-minute gift for Pacey's birthday? I'm thinking something in the region of fifteen dollars from each of us" Jen asked him, while they were heading towards the cafeteria and the lunch, that awaited them there. On the way they would be meeting up with his sister (who'd been attending one of her many gifted classes), but he couldn't help noticing how much Jen relished every bit of alone time, she had with himself.

"Fifteen sounds reasonable. Any ideas?" he asked back, a little relieved that he wouldn't have the trouble of finding a present for a guy, he didn't know well enough yet, to know for sure what he liked and didn't.

"Not yet. I was thinking that we could go present shopping after school, just the two of us?" Jen asked sweetly and the hopeful look on her face, how adorable she was being, combined with his fear of confrontations, made it a near impossibility to say no to her. It was the sole reason why he'd stayed in his relationship with Kate, his former neighbor and ex-girlfriend from back in Providence, for as long as he had, when he'd wanted to break up with her much sooner, than he eventually did. He could handle just about anything happening to himself, but to know that he'd hurt someone else, was just about the worst feeling, he'd ever tried in his life, the few times it had happened.

"Maybe, my sister will want to come" he tried with, as a way to make it feel as little like a date, as he could. It only got him a headshake from Jen, though.

"She has to study with Pacey after school. He told me at work yesterday. It'll just be you and me!" she told him cheerfully and with that excuse out of the window, he didn't have any other option, than to go shopping with the unbelievably lovely Jen Lindley after school. If he'd only been close to fifty percent positive that he was straight, this would have been a dream scenario.

Abby could barely believe how swimmingly life had been going for her lately, considering how low she'd fallen only a few months before this. In the months up to her starting off her friendship with Jen, it had felt to her, like she didn't have a friend in the entire world and as for the future, it hadn't felt like there was anything to be positive over. Now, where it had all turned around so quickly for her, the only thing she felt was finding it hard not to smile constantly.

And why shouldn't she, everything considered? Living with Bessie, Bodie and her "Bonus Little Brother" Alexander provided her with the kind of stable home life, that she hadn't had since she was a kid, long before the marriage of her parents started going the way of the dodo. She still regularly talked to her mom, who along with awaiting her upcoming trial for DWI and reckless endangerment, was also clearly using the interim time to get as much drinking in, as she could. To Abby, this was sad for sure, but she'd also made the tough decision, that she refused to be her mom's babysitter/verbal punching bag anymore. Although, you couldn't say that they had anywhere close to the healthiest parent/child relationship in town, they could at the least keep things on a civil level now. As long as they didn't have to live together again, that was hopefully how things would stay. Her dad would call her once every week or so, probably as a way to soothe his own guilt over how he'd left his only child in the care of a raging alcoholic for so long. Still, just to know that he loved and cared about her was a most welcome change, from all of those months of complete radio silence.

Perhaps best of all, was how her social life had improved immensely since those dark days and for a girl, who'd always had a well-above average need to feel loved, this was a huge part of the equation, as far as things that made her want to constantly smile went. Her friends, even if she wasn't equally close with all of them, made her feel welcome every day, when she turned up for school, making it feel less like a chore to have to go there five days a week. As insane as it would have seemed to her previous self, she was considering trying her luck with getting an education, once high school came to an end, another thing she attributed to not being lonely and bored in school all of the time anymore.

Finally, there was Melissa. It was sometimes funny to her, how you can have been a small part of another person's life for so long, yet not really know what they're like behind that mask, they put on for the rest of the world to see. Then, once you find out what they're really like, you find out that you're close to being exactly the same on the inside. Even if they'd practically grown up, side by side on the same playgrounds and gone to the same schools, they'd belonged to different friend groups and because of this, had barely spoken more than a handful of words to each other, prior to them becoming friends (thanks to both of them now ranking high on Belinda's most hated list).

The romantic part, they were taking slowly and by doing so, were also carefully avoiding any situations that could ruin this wonderful "Whatever it Was", they'd found in one another. That's not to say that Abby didn't want to take it faster, just that she was okay with taking it slow for now, until Melissa was ready for more than romantic handholding, gentle kisses on the cheek and whispering sweet nothing's to one another.

With Capeside being as small as it was, it also meant that no one had ever seen the point in building a mall there or close by. Their one and only "shopping street" consisted of a mix of eateries, that for the most part survived solely on the tourists (which was also why many of them were closed, when it was out of season) and the kind of establishments, that you'd think every small town had one of, almost no matter how small it is. As for places that you could buy a birthday present for a sixteen-year-old boy, this narrowed them down to "Speedy's Sports Emporium" (owned by the closest thing Capeside had to a sporting celebrity, former one-season 3rd choice back-up NFL running back Jared "Speedy" Speedman), "The Sound Shack" (the town's one and only source for buying music) and finally, the aptly named "Who Cares if it's Used?", Capeside's only second-hand/pawn shop and without a doubt the place, where Jack and Jen would get the most for their money.

After a good three quarters of an hour of gift shopping, they decided on getting Pacey two of those short sleeved Hawaiian shirts, that he loved (according to Jen) to wear in the summer (costing them a total of 20 bucks) and a cool looking sextant to celebrate Pacey's love of the sea, that he hadn't heard of either up to this point (costing fifteen bucks), both from "Who Cares if it's Used?". To cap it off, they bought him a CD compilation of the best rock songs from the 70's (for 10 bucks) from "The Sound Shack". Most of the afternoon had thankfully been relatively flirt-free on Jen's part and he hoped that the signs, he was trying to send her, that he only wanted to be friends, were getting through to her. As they left the music store though, he had to smile to himself that his worst problem at that moment, was that a pretty damn awesome girl might have the hots for him.

His smile faded quickly, when he saw his mother on the opposite side of the street, looking confused and flustered again, as she was trying to explain something, to an almost as confused looking Abby.

"Crap!" he muttered to himself, too faintly for Jen to hear it.

"That's my mom over there with Abby. I should see, if I can help her" he excused himself and before Jen could answer, he was already too far away to have been able to hear any response from her.

"He has to be here somewhere! You have to believe me!" Jack heard his mother panicking tell Abby, who clearly wasn't sure how to react to all of this.

"I believe you! How old is your son?" Abby concernedly asked and it only made his mom look even more confused, as she tried to remember.

"Mom! Not that I'm not glad to see you, but shouldn't you be at home right now?" he asked kindly and calmly. and as his mom turned her head to look at him, the panic began to seep out of her.

"Tim was supposed to be home by now, so I got worried and went out to look for him. Have you seen him, Jack? I'm really worried that something could have happened to him" she asked with a look to her that told him two things. One, she hadn't taken her medication and two, he needed to her home as quickly, as he could, so he could convince her to take them. Just as he was wondering what to do, Jen came over to join them.

"What's going on?" she asked, like it was something he wanted to explain to her and Abby in the middle of the street and while his mom could hear.

"This is my mom. Look, I'm sorry, Jen ..."

"This is the Jen, Andie has been telling me about you liking so much, Jackers?" his mom butted in, making an already bad situation even more embarrassing for him.

"I don't think there's anyone else named Jen in Capeside, mom" was the best answer he could come up with. To his relief, he saw a cab coming towards them, that with any luck would also be empty. Seeing it pull over in front of them, after he'd used his arm to signal it to, was perhaps the biggest favor, life could have granted him that day.

"I'm sorry, Jen. I have to get her home" he exasperatedly told an understanding looking Jen.

"What about Tim? We can't just leave without him!" his mom tried arguing, making him even more annoyed with her and over the whole situation, than he already was.

"He could have come home, while you've been out looking for him, Mrs. McPhee" Abby suggested and as he looked into her eyes, he saw that she knew what she was doing and was trying to help him.

"That's right! He could be at home alone, worried where we all are" Jack followed up with, while looking into his mom's eyes. Knowing that this one-two punch to get their mom to get into that taxi, before the cab driver became too impatient and drove off, was his best chance to, made him hold his breath in anticipation.

"Of course. It was nice to meet you two" his mom smilingly said to the girls, who kindly smiled back at her. After waving goodbye to them, the bad dream he'd just lived through finally came to an end, as the taxi driver began driving them home.

That evening was about learning for Abby. With January also came another lull at The Ice House and they'd had so few customers, that Bessie (probably also out of wanting to pocket all of the tips herself) had sent her to help out Bodie in the kitchen. He didn't need whatever little help Abby could offer of course, but along with always enjoying his soothing company, she also figured that it could be helpful to learn some cooking skills, for when the day came, where she wouldn't have anyone to do the cooking for her.

"Can I taste your sauce? Sorry, that came all wrong!" she grinningly asked him, and he quickly obliged by handing her a spoon.

"Don't worry about it! What do your taste buds tell you?" he asked, as she tried to decide with herself, if it was completely perfect.

"I can't find anything wrong with it" she answered.

"In that case, I'll take your word for it".

"Really? I'm not an actual chef, you know?" she had to ask, now unsure if she should have said something else.

"Neither was I, until someone gave me a chance, to show that I could become one. I wasn't much older than you, when I had my first evening working in a kitchen. It wouldn't have happened though, unless someone had shown faith in me" he assured her, filling her with a bit of the old "I can do this" enthusiasm.

After they'd sent their dish up to the pass and while they were waiting for the next order to come in, a small clean-up was taken care of. While she was wiping down kitchen equipment, flashes of her run-in with Jack's mom kept replaying inside her head. Her mom, in some of her "clearer" moments, had told her about some of the most shocking things, she'd seen on her job as a nurse. She could remember her mother telling her about having run-ins with mourners, whose minds wouldn't accept that their loved ones weren't among us anymore. It could be near-impossible in those situations, to get them to understand that there was nothing the hospital staff could do for them. She hadn't talked all that much to Jack and Andie yet, but surely, they would have at least told one of her friends, if they had a little brother at home.

One side of Abby thought that this was a private family matter and none of her business, to get herself involved in. It was just a shame that it wasn't that smaller side of her, the larger side of her usually listened to.

END OF CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR

Chapter Text

"All in all

You're just another brick in the wall"

PINK FLOYD "From the album "The Wall" (1979))

Sent: January 16th, 1999

From: Mighty Miss Morgan

To: A Girl Named Joey

Subject: I need your advice on something

Hi, Joey. I hope that things are going splendidly over there in France. Bessie and Bodie say hi (I'm sure that Alexander would want to too, if he could talk yet!), but I'm not only writing to exchange pleasantries. I'm sure that I don't need to tell you this, but my history when it comes to making big decisions could be better and I have sort of a big one to make.

You've heard about Jack and Andie by now, I'm guessing? Yesterday, Jen and I had a run-in with their mom, and it seemed like there was something wrong with her. As in, something seriously wrong with her brain. She was confused over where her son Tim was and if it hadn't been for Jack showing up to get her out of there in a taxi, I totally believe that she would have had a mental breakdown, right there in the middle of the street. What's even more suspicious, is that I've never heard either of the twins mentioning having another sibling.

Part of me thinks that I should mind my own beeswax and that getting involved in other people's family issues never ends well, but another side of me thinks that I should at least try to see, if I can do anything for them. I'm kind of torn on what to do, so I'm asking for your sound advice.

Your friend, Abby.

Sent: January 16th, 1999

From: A Girl Named Joey

To: Mighty Miss Morgan

Subject: The best advice, I can give you.

Hi, Abby. I can't say what I would have done in your situation, had it been me. The only time I've had to deal with mental illness was when my great-grandmother, towards the very end of her life, had also reached one the final stages of dementia and started appearing constantly confused and was having trouble recognizing people, she'd known for most of her life. I still remember like it was yesterday, how the thought that the same thing could happen to myself someday, scared the living hell out of me and kept me up for several nights, where I couldn't stop thinking about it. Whenever we've talked about her, since her passing all of those years ago, none of us want to mention with a single word, those terrible days towards the end of her life. I think it's because mental illness is something, us "normal" people have such a hard time wrapping our heads around, that it's much easier for us to try to ignore it and pretend that such a thing doesn't exist.

Whatever you do, try to be understanding towards what both them and their mom have to be going through. It can't be easy for them, that's for sure.

Best of luck!

Joey.

"I'd rather be ... lying in my bikini on a beach in Hawaii, than be in school today!" Abby threw out there, starting off yet another round of "I'd Rather" with Melissa, while they were standing by Melissa's locker and waiting for the next class to begin. It had quickly become their go-to game, whenever they were having a particularly boring day at school.

"That's too obvious of an answer! I'd rather go bungee jumping, than be in school today!" Melissa came up with and Abby had to smile at her answer, just from knowing that Melissa was far too much of a scaredy kitten to ever do something that daring.

"You'd chicken out, way before they got far enough to put the cord around your waist!" Abby quipped, making Melissa smile back at her.

"We didn't say that it had to be realistic, did we? I guess that I'm just not as adventurous, as you are".

"Moi, adventurous? Yeah, with going to school, doing my homework, working as a waitress and if we're really talking about me getting crazy, babysitting a boy, who hasn't turned a year old yet, my life is so adventurous that sometimes, I'm thinking that I should write a book about how exciting it is!" she replied sarcastically, bringing a sweet giggle out of Melissa.

Just seconds later, their cute little moment was ruined by a shocked looking Jen coming over to them.

"Abby, have you been by your locker, since the last class ended?" Jen asked, sounding concerned.

"No, I only had the one book to bring for my last class, so I took out my books for the next one as well. Did someone break into it? I've tried to tell them countless times that our locks on those lockers are so old and easy to pick, that it was only a matter of time!" Abby answered, a little annoyed, but at least relieved that she hadn't had anything of value in there.

"It's worse than that" Jen answered, before leading them towards the hallway, Abby's locker was located in.

When they got there, a crowd had already begun to gather and what they were all staring at was what someone (not that Abby needed too many guesses, as to who it was) had written on her locker in large, red permanent marker letters: "Disgusting Dyke!" and "Rug Muncher!"

Abby had a far tougher hide than most of those her age, when it came to taking verbal (or in this case written) abuse. She'd been called just about every nasty name or slur that you could think of over the years, many of them from her own mother, and for the most part, she'd developed a knack for either ignoring it or giving back, as good as she got. The sheer humiliation she felt at this moment, however, went beyond anything the world had thrown at her before. With everyone staring at her, as she made her way up to her locker, it had her feeling like it was the entire world that was watching her passing through Hades for their amusement.

"Welcome to the open-minded township of Capeside! Where we'll gladly take your money, if you're gay, but if you dare to do anything to show it ..." Jen began saying sarcastically, only too late realizing that she'd basically just outed Abby to the entire school.

"You're actually a lesbian?" a younger girl, whom Abby had never talked to before, asked and within moments, whispers started spreading throughout the many on-lookers.

It was all she could take, before she ran away from that school, determined to never set foot there again.

"I'm the worst friend in the history of the entire world!" a despondent Jen stated to Jack on her way to the outer doors. Jack himself was still reeling, after he'd heard what happened to Abby and her locker. "I have to find her and tell her how sorry; I am!"

"How do you plan on finding her, when she could be anywhere by now?" he asked her and by doing so, was also stating the obvious problem in her hopeless plan.

"I'll look for her all over town, if I have to! Jack, I've done a lot of things, I'm not proud of! Many of which, you won't want me to ever tell you about, trust me! This is so much worse, than any of those other times were. Abby trusted me, like she's perhaps never trusted anyone before and like the complete idiot, I am, I basically announce her biggest secret to the entire world, just because I had to make a moronic, sarcastic quip!" she frustratedly said, clearly still extremely upset with herself over what just transpired in the hallowed halls of Capeside High.

"You need to give her time to digest it" he suggested, thinking of how he would have reacted, had it been himself who'd been forced out of the closet, in the way that Abby had just been.

"No offense, but I don't think that as an untroubled, heterosexual male, there's any way, you could put yourself in Abby's shoes. When first I got to know her a handful of months ago, her life was a mess! It's only recently, that things have finally begun to start looking up for her. Then, I have to go and do this to her!" she snapped back at him, without having a clue how wrong, she in reality was.

"Maybe, you're right and I can't put myself in her shoes or stand here and try to claim, that I know her anywhere close to, like you do. One thing I know all too much about is what it feels like, when your world seems to have been turned upside down in an instant. I can tell you that when it happened to me, the absolute last thing I wanted was to be forced to talk about it, before I felt ready to" he semi-confessed to her, while leaving out a few vital details.

"What happened to you?" Jen asked him, with a mix of curiosity and concern on her face.

"If I tell you, will it stop you from running after Abby and doing something, that could ruin your friendship forever?" he asked back, thinking that if any situation warranted a confessional to stop someone from doing something dumb, this was it. Jen was bound to find out about Tim at some point either way and after she'd seen his mom asking about him, there was little point in trying to keep it from her anymore.

"Is it about Tim, the little boy your mom was asking about?"

"Tim isn't a little boy. Or at least, he wasn't" he started off, before needing a moment to regain his composure. "He was mine and Andie's older brother by six years. If he hadn't been taken from us in an accident last year, our entire family would have been looking forward to attending his college graduation ceremony this coming summer. Tim was the kind of guy, who could make friends with everyone, and I've never met anyone, who had a bad word to say about him. Losing him felt like my soul was being torn asunder piece by piece in the time afterwards" he told her truthfully and the pure shock strewn across her face said it all, as she tried to comprehend what he'd just relayed to her.

"I, ehm ... wow, Jack! So, your mom is ... I don't know what the exact medical term is?".

"I've been told it's precise name a few times, but I can't remember what it's called, and I can't say, that I give two shakes of a rat's ass what it's called either. All I know is that she still doesn't want to admit to herself, that he's gone. When she doesn't take her medication, like she hadn't when you saw her yesterday, she starts believing in things, that aren't real. Like Tim still being a little boy, for example".

"Will she ever get better?" Jen asked, through her fight to not start crying on his family's behalf.

"Her doctors tell us that they have every reason to hope, she will eventually. I have to keep reminding myself all the time, that it hasn't been a year, and the wound is still fresh. I'm still not close to being over his death and I've been the one out of us, who's arguably done the best at dealing with it. Andie went through her own personal hell for months on end afterwards and my dad decided that it was easier to bury his head in work, than it was to deal with having a delusional wife, who refuses to accept reality for what it is".

"Here I always thought, my parents were a nightmare! Sorry, I didn't mean it like that!" she said apologetically, probably deciding that she'd already put her foot in her mouth one time too many already that day.

"I was lucky enough to have a few friends that understood, why the best thing they could do was allow me to deal with it on my schedule. It took me over a month, until I talked to anyone outside of Andie and a few times, my dad, about my feelings. When I finally did, it felt like the weight of the world had been lifted from my shoulders. I needed that time to be ready to start opening up though, or I simply couldn't have done it" he told her from the heart, and it seemed to him as if, she got what he meant.

Abby went straight back to Bodie and Bessie's house after she'd left the school, not wanting to talk to or hear from anyone. It was therefore not to her liking, when she saw the family's truck parked in front of the house. She walked up it, just as Bessie was coming out of the front door and the look that she got for having skipped school told her, that she'd basically just thrown herself into a pot of boiling water.

"I can see that you aren't visibly missing any limbs, so why the hell aren't you in school right now?" Bessie rudely snapped at her and to her own enormous surprise, that was all it took to make her start crying.

She only got an "It's a long story" out through her tears, as Bessie's anger with her quickly turned to caring concern instead.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Bessie asked in the motherly kind of way, that her own mom hadn't done, since before the alcohol and the depression took over and began poisoning her mind.

"Not really" she answered quietly, while trying to stop the tears from flowing by thinking happy thoughts. Not that it was working.

"I'm sorry to tell you, but that won't fly with me. We've had more than enough secrets being held in this house, to last all of us a lifetime and if there's one thing that our downfall as a family, if you want to call it that, has taught me, it's that they always lead to more problems in the end and rarely any solutions. Anyway, do you really think I can leave you here alone, crying your heart out and go about my business, like it doesn't matter to me?" Bessie asked her and just hearing someone tell her that they cared for her that way, helped enough for her to stop weeping at the least.

"As I said, it's a long story. Don't you have to be at the Ice House for the lunch rush soon?"

"When I tell Bodie why I won't be there to help out, he'll understand. You've become so much more than just a houseguest to us, Abby. You're an extended part of our family now and with that comes having a handful of us, who want to look out for you, the best we can. So, will you tell me what's up, or do we have to break out the ice-cream from the freezer and have a sit-down over this?" Bessie asked with a kind and sympathetic smile. After Abby had nodded along to the suggestion, it wasn't long until they were seated at the dinner table, both of them with a serving of chocolate chip ice-cream in front of them.

"There's this girl at school named Belinda. Just saying her name out loud makes me want to gag!" Abby began, while Bessie nodded along.

"I seem to remember that Joey has told me about her a few times. I went to school with more of her type, than I care to remember".

"Joey should consider herself extremely lucky, that she's never been in Belinda's crosshairs! I haven't been as lucky and she's been after me pretty much constantly, since we were kids. Today, she did something so horrible though, that I wouldn't have expected it of her in a million years. That's coming from someone, who couldn't possibly have had a lower opinion of her, than I already did!" she continued, before working up her nerve for what inevitably would come next.

"What did she do?"

"She ... wrote some nasty homophobic slurs on my locker or got one of the girls that follow her around, like she was some goddess to do it for her, I don't know for sure. I won't repeat them here, but they were some of the worst ones, you could think of" she explained, while trying to judge Bessie's reaction, before coming out with the announcement of a lifetime to her. "Bessie, I'm gay and I'm pretty sure that I have been, since I was born".

It felt amazing for Abby to finally come clean to the young woman, who had been treating her like a mixture of a daughter and a little sister, ever since Bessie and Bodie had taken her in all of those weeks earlier. What felt even better, was when Bessie (instead of just responding with words) got up from her chair and invited her in for a big hug.

Never in her life up to that point, had a hug ever felt so warming and nurturing, as that one did to Abby. It took most of the next three hours until she was done telling Bessie about all of it, from the urges that she'd had to stare at the other girls and their developing bodies in the shower after P.E, when she'd only just started to hit puberty, to the stage she'd reached now, where she was on the verge of jumping into her first romantic relationship with Melissa. Throughout it all, Bessie knew when to just sit and listen and when to throw in a small remark, that would help her to remember something important, that she probably would have left out otherwise.

"Do you think that you can forgive Jen? I'm sure that she didn't mean to out you" Bessie asked softly, before they got started on their third portion of ice-cream that afternoon.

"I'm not really mad at her. I mean, a tiny part of me is, but at the same time it's felt like I've been living a lie for so long, that I can't remember when it began anymore. First, it was trying to hide that my homelife was horrible and today, it became about my sexuality getting announced to the world. I'm so sick and tired of it, you have no idea!"

"In that case, it sounds to me like she actually did you a favor. Look, I know as well as anyone what Capeside is like and how they treat anyone here, who dares to stand out from the crowd. Back when I was your age, I was kind of like you or Joey, an outsider who got picked on for the slightest things, they could come up with. High school can be horrible that way for those, who are like us, but another thing I remember is how I was far from the only one, who was fed up with it being that way. Those so-called "Cool Kids", that get to set the agenda in your school aren't the majority, they're a tiny minority and if you come out and say "Fuck you and your stupid rules for who and what I'm supposed to be" to them, you'll have lots of girls and boys, that are just like you deep down, agreeing with you. That's how you begin to make a difference!"

Abby had to smile to herself and not only because she'd just heard Bessie for the first time use a word, that she'd heard her heavily scolding Bodie a few times before, over having used in front of their son.

"Can you drive me back to school, Bessie? There are things that I need to tell some people and it isn't something, I think that I should put off".

After he'd talked Jen out of going on an impossible hunt to find Abby, Jack had felt even more like an outsider at their school, than he already did most of the time. He'd seen a small handful of minor cases of homophobia back in Providence and heard stories about people getting beat up or even killed, after they'd come out. To have it happen that up close and personal to someone, he was starting to get to know and was a close friend to a friend of his, still hit him hundreds, if not thousands of times harder, than hearing some third hand re-telling of a story had ever done to him. More than that, he felt like a hypocrite for still hiding who he was, out of an in-grown fear of the same thing happening to himself.

Their final class of the day was Peterson's class, a fittingly terrible ending to an already awful school day (for the most part). It was almost at an end, when the door opened and to his great surprise, in came Abby with the most determined look on her face, he could remember seeing anyone have before.

"Miss Morgan! So nice of you to join us, right before the final bell of the day!" Peterson said sardonically, as Abby walked up to him without a flinch to her demeanor. This, Peterson clearly wasn't expecting, and he barely knew how to react to what Abby said next.

"Do you know what you are, Mr. Peterson? You're a terrible teacher! Everyone in here thinks so!" Abby said straight to the teacher's face, as many nodded in agreement with her, and no one said anything to the contrary.

"Who do you think you are? Go to the principal's office, now!" Peterson tried ordering her, in disbelief that any of his students would dare talk to him that way. Not that it helped, since it only made Abby that much more defiant.

"Who am I? I'm Abby motherfucking Morgan and I've had more than enough of the shit, that goes on in this school! I've had enough of teachers like you treating me and everyone else in here like I'm some tool, who doesn't know Jack about anything! I know all about how cruel the world can be towards you, because it's been my entire life here, in ways that someone like you will never begin to understand! You want to know another thing, I've had enough of?" she asked Peterson, who by now was so shocked, that all he could do was shake his head.

"I've had enough of being treated like I'm a piece of garbage by the "Cool Kids", just because they're lucky enough to be born into privileges, I could only dream of having had! I'm gay and I don't give a damn anymore, who knows about it! You're looking at a girl with nothing left to lose, Mr. Peterson, so tell me: What's your comment on that?" Abby asked her stunned teacher defiantly, as whispers quickly began to spread among his classmates. Jack didn't say anything and only watched in awe as this girl did something, he would never have the courage to do himself: Openly be herself to the core and not care in the slightest, what anyone thought about it.

After Abby's "coming out party" in Peterson's class and after having reconciled with an extremely relieved Jen, they felt it only fitting that they should celebrate it in fashion with one of Bodie's best root beer floats from the Ice House.

"I'm so insanely proud of you right now, that I can't put it into words!" Jen told her with an ear-to-ear smile and Abby could see, that her friend wasn't understating it.

"You don't think that I just dug my own grave as well?" she had to ask, since the question had been in the back of her mind, ever since she'd begun her barrage of words against the school's least favorite teacher.

"I'm almost positive, that you'll have a hard time getting better than a C in Peterson's class from now on!" Jen joked and, in all likelihood, she wasn't wrong there!

"Seriously, Jen. If my name wasn't number one on Belinda's most hated list before today, I can't see how it couldn't be at the very top now!"

"Who cares? Listen to me, Abby! This is what Belinda's life will be like ten or fifteen years from now: She'll either be a bored housewife with practically no life and zero friends, after those supposed friends, she has now will have all moved on to better things and all of them have realized that life is too short, to waste on someone like her. Her husband, who only married her to be his trophy wife, will cheat on her constantly, because he realized too late that he married an utter bitch, or that husband will already have left her and taken their kids with him, none of whom will want to have anything to do with their mom, because they know as well as anyone, that she can't see further than the tip of her own nose. Girls like Belinda are perfect for the pecking order in High School, but they always end up as pathetic sob stories, once they have to deal with the real world" Jen told her imploringly.

"How do you see me ending up?"

"If you stick to this new "Screw you, if you don't like it" approach, you'll end up as someone, who's so much cooler than Belinda has ever had the potential to become. I just wouldn't do it right in front of one of my teachers again, if I were you! Or you employers here, for that matter! There's no reason to deliberately shoot yourself in foot, if it's that easily avoidable!" Jen answered wisely, just as the door opened and Melissa came walking in. It was only just now that it came to Abby, that by what she'd just done, she'd also essentially outed Melissa in close to the same way, Jen had outed her a little earlier that day.

"What do you know? I just now felt the need to go and use the women's room!" Jen excused herself, before giving them their "Semi-Privacy".

"I heard about what you said in Peterson's class. I thought, it was pretty cool" Melissa said sweetly, filling Abby's belly again with the sort of sweet warmth, that she so often did.

"You aren't mad at me? I essentially told everyone, that ..."

"I'm a lesbian? I don't care what they think anymore, either! After what was done to you today and how I was frozen out and bullied by all of my old so-called friends, after I quit the squad and told Belinda off, they can kiss my ass, for all I care! I care what my parents think, and I guess, I'll need to have a much overdue talk with them tonight, but I doubt if it, if they'll be too shocked. My mom has always been a master at telling when someone has a crush on someone else and she's seen us together enough times, that she has to have picked up on how crazy I am about you. My dad just wants me to be happy, so he'll be cool with it as well, I'm pretty sure" Melissa explained, right before the younger girl, who'd asked Abby if she really was a lesbian earlier that day, and another girl who looked to be the same age, came up to them.

"We're sorry to interrupt, but we just want to tell you how cool we think it is, what you did today!" the girl praised her, and Abby couldn't help feeling a little proud either.

"You're like, my new hero!" the other girl exclaimed and although Abby rarely blushed, this was one of the times, where she did.

As it turned out, those two would be far from the only ones, she heard things like that from throughout this afternoon and it wasn't only girls either. Even a handful of the senior class boys told her that they thought, she was brave, and Pacey and Dawson unanimously agreed, that she had to have the biggest balls of anyone at their school. While she couldn't help herself from giggling a little, when they told her to her face, it also felt like they may have been right. In the figurative sense, of course.

Later that day, while Jack and Andie were setting the table for dinner together, they got the chance to talk about what had happened that day with Abby.

"I think, it's crazy, what she did. Something like what she did is bound to end up on her permanent record!" Andie, who'd always had an innate fear of anything damaging her chances of getting into either Harvard or Yale, said.

"I thought, it was the greatest thing, I've ever seen! You should have seen Peterson's face, it was priceless!"

"You don't think that by getting this angry over it, she's only set herself up for more bullying? Greet the world with a smile and it'll greet you back in the same manner, that's what I always say!"

"Sometimes, smiles will only get you so far, Andie. If there's to be any chance of changes being made to the intolerance that reigns at that school, then someone has to make a stand and go for nothing".

"It almost sounds like you wish that it had been you?"

"We both know that we're so new here, that it wouldn't have meant nearly as much coming from one of us. Abby's lived here for her entire life and can make a difference to that school in a positive way, I truly believe it" he told his sister, who from the looks of her might not have agreed with him entirely but wasn't disagreeing with him all that much either.

"What about the whole "Her being gay" part? Does it make you think of her differently now?"

"I can't say that it does. You?"

"It could take me a few days to get used to all of a sudden having a classmate, who's openly homosexual. I suppose, it'll be like it is with almost all other new things, where after a short while it starts to just feel natural, that that's how it is. Do you think Abby and Melissa are more than just friends?"

"I hope so for them. It shouldn't matter if you're gay or straight. If you ask me, everyone has a right to find someone, they can fall in love with".

"Amen to that, my dear brother!" Andie agreed, just before the doorbell rang and they looked at one another in confusion, over who it could be at this time of day.

Opening the door, just about the last thing he or Andie had expected was to see Abby and Jen standing there.

"Abby told me about experiences her mom had with others, who are like your mom is. I want to understand, so it won't become something that can come between us" Jen told himself and Andie.

"We all go around hiding way too many things, because we don't think people will be able to accept them. I did my part to hide from the world, that my mom was breaking apart inside and it only ended up making everything so much worse, than it ever had to be. Everyone has problems, but when we try to hush them down, it doesn't help anyone" Abby said understandingly.

"I won't say that it'll be easy for me to fully understand, or that I can know what it's like to go through what your family has gone through, but there's no chance of me doing so, unless you give me a chance to. All we're asking for here is to be given that chance" Jen pleaded her case, just as their mom came out to see what was going on.

"Are your friends staying for dinner?" she asked, with no knowledge of what they'd just been talking about.

"They are" he answered in unison with his sister.

END OF CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE

Chapter Text

"To be or not to be

that's the question

but not to me,

because I know that very soon, we'll be

a happy family"

LEO "THE LION" MATHISEN (Single from 1941)

Sent: January 18th, 1999

From: A Girl Named Joey

To: That Witter Guy

Subject: Happy B-Day, my one true love!

Hi there, birthday boy! How does it feel to finally be able to call yourself sixteen? You know that I'd love to be there to celebrate it with you, but you'll sadly have to wait for my present for you, until I come back home, and I can give it to you in person (here's a hint for you: It's worth the wait!). To do a little something to celebrate you, I'm holding a "Proxy B-Day" party for you over here, where I'll be cooking my host family and Emma some of your favorite dishes (keep your fingers crossed for me, that I won't completely mess it up lol!). I know that it'll make me miss you even more, than I already am (not that it should be possible, in spite of the fun I'm having over here), but it didn't feel right to me not to do something to celebrate the boy, I've given my heart to!

I love you so much, that it's impossible for me to put it into words here, in case you didn't know by now! Have an amazing birthday with all of your friends back home and try not to think too much about how I won't be there with you on the day, where you officially take your first step into becoming an adult. Which I know you've always said is a swear-word to you but look at it this way: it had to happen sooner or later!

Your girlfriend, who spends far too much time thinking about you in ways that she could never tell her friends and family about!

Joey

Sent: January 18th, 1999

From: That Witter Guy

To: A Girl Named Joey

Subject: Thanks!

Hi, Sweetheart. Thanks for the birthday greeting. As you probably know by now, Dawson, Jen and Andie have been preparing a surprise party for me, which would have been surprising too, if they hadn't been so terrible at hiding it! Seriously, you should have been here to hear some of the lame excuses they've come up with, every time they think I've come too close to figuring out the truth! I'm just glad that we don't all have to count on those three to be secret agents, or they'd all have their covers blown within a week lol! I try to play along though, even if it won't be much of a surprise party anymore and I have to say, it's kind of nice to know that they care so much about little old me. I don't know who else will be on the guest list, but hopefully it should be a fun time, something I could also really use right now.

One thing is that thanks to the school's driving teacher being away on paternity leave, I'll have to wait a few days until I can get my driver's license, which sucks, but since the prospects of me being able to afford a car of my own lies so far into the future, that I can't even imagine when it will be, it isn't like I'm in a hurry to get it. What I'm more worried over is what could happen, should my parents end up in the same room together and everyone getting to see how bad they can be, when they're at their worst. For this reason and because it would give away that I know about the surprise part of the party, I haven't told any of them about it and I've ordered Doug not to either, so I'm hoping desperately that no one else has. Gretchen is coming down from college to be my ally for the day and Doug's even taken the evening off to come to the party, but with the ice wall between my parents still being in full effect, there's no saying what could happen, should they come face to face with one another.

The boy, who loves you back even more, than you love him!

Pacey

Jen's morning routine was the same every morning. Wake up an hour and a half before school began, press the snooze button on her clock radio twice (giving her a good twenty minutes for her brain to slowly wake up as well, before she had to open her eyes), hit the shower and brush her teeth, before dressing herself for the day and putting on her make-up. After this, she would have two slices of toast for breakfast (one with her grandmother's homemade cherry marmalade and one with mild cheese) and a cup of hot Joe to go with them. She would then chit-chat a little with Grams over their respective days ahead, before finishing her routine off by going upstairs, to say goodbye to her grandpa. Even if she didn't know for sure, if he could hear her, there was a therapeutic effect in it for herself. A feeling that at least, she was doing something for him, when she usually felt so helpless otherwise, in knowing that there was nothing anyone could do to save him from dying now.

"Hi, granddad. I'm off to school now" she told the more or less comatose man, before sitting down on the bed with him and taking his hand.

"Grams told me, that your vital signs are getting worse. That I should begin preparing myself for you dying soon. I don't know anymore, maybe it would be for the best, if this is all you have to look forward to. Lying in this bed and only barely being alive, as it is. When i came here, I thought for sure that you'd wake up again and you could take me on walks out in the beautiful nature around here, like you used to do, when I came up to visit as a kid. Do you remember that?" she quietly asked him, as the tears began to press their way on again.

"I do. They were some of the best times, I ever had as a child. You never expected anything of me, except to just be a happy and carefree kid. If I'd been allowed to grow up here with you and Grams, who knows that kind of perfectly adjusted girl, I'd be by now? Oh well, I guess, we'll never know! I love you, grandpa and I still believe, that you'll push through this. Don't you go and give up on me, okay?" she told him, before putting his hand back in a position, that looked like it would be comfortable.

One thing was that he was close to being a corpse. It didn't mean that she was ready, for him to actually become one.

Pacey had found out that playing a new game, one that he'd invented himself and called "Pretending to be completely clueless, when it comes to his birthday party", could make for a nice bit of entertainment of an otherwise tedious school day. He had to pay attention in his classes now, if he was going to get away from the prospects of being held back a year, and with it not leaving much space for goofing off, he took whatever chances he could, to play that side of himself out. At this moment, where he was heading from one class to the next, his "victim" was Jen Lindley, who also happened to (surprisingly, considering the multitude of lies, that she had to have told her parents back in NYC) be by far the worst of them, when it came to keeping his surprise party that evening a secret.

"I've been thinking about going fishing tonight. Word is that old Hal caught a sixteen-pound rainbow trout down at the creek a few days ago and ..." he began, while trying to avoid looking too amused by the panic that quickly spread across Jen's face.

"You can't!" she blurted out, once again proving how terrible she was at keeping something like a surprise party an actual secret from the one, whom the party is being thrown for.

"Why shouldn't I? I don't have to work for once and it isn't like there's anything special going on tonight! Unless, you know something that I don't?" he slyly asked her and could see her mind racing to come up with an excuse, that wouldn't also give everything away.

"Because ... I heard that it's going to rain tonight! You can't go fishing, when it's raining, can you?" Jen tried with, even if it was the feeblest attempt at playing innocent, he could remember seeing, since his older sister's honestly terrible attempt at hiding that she'd come home drunk on a Saturday night, a handful of years before this, back when she was still living with them.

"Not according to any of the weather reports, I've read. Anyway, it isn't like the fish give a damn what the weather's like above the waterline!"

"You'll end up getting sick and you can't afford to miss any school right now, if you want to get those grades up!" Jen came up with and was obviously happier with this attempt, than she was with her first one.

"I guess, you're right" he replied, deciding that he'd played with her young mind enough for one break in between classes.

They'd only just sat down for their next class, when a message came out over the school's P.A.

"Jennifer Lindley, will you please come to the principal's office?" a woman's voice, that he recognized as belonging their school's secretary, said over the P.A.

"Have you been channeling your inner Beavis again, Lindley? Or was it your inner Butthead this time?" he jokingly asked and only got a headshake in reply.

"And that's coming from you, mister "I once hooked up with a teacher here?"

"That was in my dark past! Here I thought that we both silently agreed that all of extremely dumb things we did, before we began to smarten up on the ways of love don't count!"

"Try telling that to my parents! Maybe ... the principal wants to congratulate me, on how I've turned into a model student!" she quipped back, as she got up from her seat.

"You, a model student? " He scoffed. "I see that happening at around the same time, they'll start calling me one!" he joked back, as she made her way out of the classroom.

So, his life wasn't a storybook adventure of him having a great time constantly or even anything resembling it! This one day a year, he had the right to play around with his friends, as he pleased!

Back home, there were seven words that Jen always dreaded hearing, every Monday through Friday, when she turned up for school. "Jen Lindley, come to the principal's office!". They would always call her in there to about the same things, like her grades being terrible, her skipping school and never showing interest in her classes. It wasn't like what they told her didn't get through to her in some small way, it was just that her desperate search to feel loved would ninety-nine times out of a hundred lead her right back to the kind of behavior, that kept getting her in trouble over and over again. As long as nothing reached her parents' ears, she could easily push it out of her mind, once she was out of that office again.

Living like that, day to day, like she didn't have any future to think about or look forward to, was a way of living that it sometimes scared her to think back on, had been her life for so long. Now that she'd practically become a tea-tootler, she shuddered to think of all of the horrible things that could have happened to a young girl like she was, living mostly unsupervised in rough place like New York and as a general rule always acting first and thinking about the potential consequences later, if she did at all.

This time, she knew in advance, that she couldn't have been called in there over anything, she'd done and knew that she shouldn't have. While she may not have been a straight A student like Joey or Andie, she kept her grades for the most part at a respectable enough Low-B/High-C level. She'd been a pure and utter angel, when it came to not causing trouble anymore and so little had happened in her love-life for so long, that she'd almost begun to count herself as an innocent virgin again. In comparison to most of the other girls at their school, who obviously weren't holding back in letting their teenage hormones run their wildest, the closest she'd come to anything happening since her last kiss with Dawson all of those months earlier, had been her "accidentally touching little fingers" with Jack a few days before this. So little had been happening in fact, that she figured there had to be elderly nuns out there, who saw more action, that she did!

"Jen Lindley, I'm here to see the principal" she told the secretary, a woman in her late fifties, who clearly dyed her hair at least once a month to keep the grey hairs out of sight, until she eventually would stop caring someday and learned to live with getting old. The secretary looked up at her with sympathy, which while it was welcome change from the stern looks, she used to get from the secretary at her school back home, also un-nerved her a little.

"He's doing a job interview right now, but they should be done soon. Take a seat and read a magazine, if you feel like it" the secretary told her in the sort of kind way, that you use on someone, who's about to be given bad news of some sort.

She took a seat and tried to push the paranoid thoughts out of her mind, with the help of one of the magazines on the table in front of her, but everything she read went in one ear and out of the other. It was only a few minutes until the principal came out with a fresh-faced young teacher, who looked rather pleased with how his job interview had gone. After the principal had shaken hands with him and he'd left, he turned his attention to her.

"Miss Lindley, thanks for coming. Step into my office, please" he told her and held the door open for her, as she entered.

"What's this about?" she asked quickly, not wanting to drag this out any further, than she absolutely had to. The principal closed the door and sat down across from her, before looking her in the eyes.

"There's no easy way of delivering news like this. We got a call from your grandmother, who I understand that you live with, around a quarter of an hour ago. She told us that your grandfather has passed away. You and your family, of course, have our deepest condolences and should you need some time off from school, to privately deal with the grief over this matter, it goes without saying that we'll be accommodating with that too" he told her, although nothing after the words "Passed Away" registered in her mind.

After a day at school, that had actually for the most part been enjoyable for once (mostly since he'd milked the surprise part of his upcoming birthday party for all it was worth), another welcome surprise awaited him, when he saw his brother and his police cruiser waiting for him after school ended.

"Do you need anything from me, Doug?" he asked suspiciously, well aware that an act of kindness like this rarely came without a price, when it came to his brother.

"You're lucky, that we're having a particularly slow day, Pacey. Put your bike in the back and I'll drive you home" Doug told him and didn't have to do so twice, for Pacey to take his offer.

"Happy sixteen, by the way. Gretchen's train should be arriving in an hour or so. I promised to pick her up" Doug said with a stiff facial expression, that also told Pacey that this ride wasn't free after all.

"What's up, Doug? There has to be something, or you wouldn't look like your dog has just been run over" he asked bluntly, and it brought a tiny smile to Doug's face.

"You know, I have to give you one thing, little brother. I can hide all kinds of things from everyone else, but I've never been able to hide anything, when it comes to you".

"If you're referring to your "secret sexual preferences", all anyone has to do is take one look at you CD and video collection! It's my birthday, you can allow me one gay joke!" he quickly told his brother, who'd already begun to look annoyed with him.

"Just because a guy likes romance movies and isn't afraid to hide his "Pop Sensibilities" doesn't mean that he's gay, Pacey! There are a lot of guys, who buy Whitney Houston and Mariah Carey CD's!"

"So, they can give them to their girlfriends and hopefully, get "rewarded" for it, don't you think? If I want to hear someone sing like a bird, I'd rather listen to an actual bird!" he teased his brother to ease the mood in the car. If he had to be honest about it, he actually liked some of their songs, but of course, he could never tell his brother that and give his CD collection that kind of validation!

"You really are a sad excuse for a human being, who's completely devoid of any kind of culture, aren't you?"

"And proud of it! So, are you ever going to tell me why you're giving me a ride home in your police cruiser, or do I have to start guessing?"

"I tried to keep it from mom and dad, Pacey. You have to believe me, I really did! It was Gretchen, who spilled the beans, not me!" Doug tried to excuse himself, as Pacey tried to comprehend, what his brother was talking about.

"Spilled the beans about what, Doug?"

"Your surprise birthday party. They're both coming!"

Never before had three words in the English language sounded scarier to Pacey's ears!

Jen didn't bother with going to the hospital, after she'd left school and instead just went straight home, without saying anything to anybody. None of them would understand what she was feeling either way and they would probably make her talk about it, which was just about the last thing, she felt like doing. She'd felt grief before, it wasn't that and she'd already known that her grandfather's life was hanging on by a thread. It didn't make it any easier, though and she'd spent the first hours after she'd come home lying on her bed and letting the tears flow, as they may. Her friends didn't need to see her like this, and she certainly wouldn't want them to see it either. Her softest side was hers and only hers, and one she only very rarely showed to anyone else.

She knew that Grams would be away for most of the afternoon, taking care of the various principalities, that you have to when someone passes away. Grieving or not, her grandmother wasn't someone, who pushed something off for the day after, when it could be done today and that was a side of her, nothing could be done to change. When Jen heard the front door being opened, she hoped that she would be allowed to be left alone for a little while longer, but she wouldn't be so lucky.

"Jennifer, are you in there?" her grandmother asked, after knocking softly on the door.

"Yeah, you can come in!" she answered just loud enough that Grams would be able to hear it. Moments later, the door opened, and her dear old grandmother came in.

"How are you holding up?" Grams asked with a voice full of kindness, as Jen gave not looking like a total mess a shot.

"I feel terrible inside and at the same time a little relieved. I don't know, maybe it's a mix of them".

"That makes two of us. You know that I will always love your grandfather, as much as I love life itself, but the former nurse in me has known which way this was heading, for a long time. He led a long and fulfilling life, Jen. It was just that his time had come".

"I know that, and I guess that a part of me is glad, that his suffering is finally over. I've been trying all afternoon to think back on the best memories, I have of him, but all I keep coming back to is him lying in that bed, unable to do anything".

"It'll come to you in time, I promise. It took me a long time come to grips with knowing, that I would end up outliving him. Heck, I could end up having another thirty or even forty good years, before the lord comes for my soul too" Grams, in a very rare moment, quipped.

"Isn't "Heck" still considered a swear word, among you God-fearing Christian types?" she joked back and forced a small smile for the elderly lady.

"Believe me, Jen. I've said other, much, much worse words than that one silently to myself, since your grandfather became sick! It's only natural to feel angry, when you're losing someone who's as dear to you, as he was to me".

"As he was to both of us! You know what this means, don't you?"

"What does it mean, Jennifer?"

"That you'll have to keep yourself alive for at least the next forty years! I've already lost one of my two favorite grandparents today! I'm nowhere close to being ready to lose the other one!" she honestly told Grams, whom she could see had to shed a small tear at hearing her say so.

END OF CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX

Chapter Text

Chapter Text

"There's a rose in a fisted glove

And the eagle flies with the dove

And if you can't be with the one you love, honey

Love the one you're with"

STEPHEN STILLS (From the album "Stephen Stills" (1970))

Sent: January 26th, 1999

From: Spielberg's Disciple

To: A Girl Named Joey

Subject: Just catching up.

Hi, Joey.

How's it going? Over here it's been a quiet week, since the drama of Pacey's birthday party, without much in the way of interesting things, to tell you about. The closest I can come is that the student body president has been given the sack and although it seems like no one cares why, it also means that there'll be an election for the vacant spot coming up soon. Pacey jokingly suggested that I should throw my hat into the mix and just to rub it in, he also offered to be my campaign manager. I gave him a hard pass. For the most part, I like going to Capeside High, but the idea of being the one, who everyone else vents their frustrations at, when they don't like something, isn't a thought that appeals to me.

I wish that I had more exciting news to share, but you know how it is here. In a small town like ours, it isn't like something worth writing about happens every week.

Take care.

Dawson

Sent: January 27th, 1999

From: A Girl Named Joey

To: Spielberg's Disciple

Subject: Re: Just catching up

Hi, Dawson. Call me crazy, but I sometimes miss those weeks in Capeside, where nothing happens and without thinking about it, you just go about your business with one day taking over for the next. Over here, it's like I'm expected to make the most of my time, which doesn't leave much time for laying around and watching movies, like we used to for hours on end. When I came over here, I didn't know entirely what to expect, but so far, it's helped me with becoming more open to new people and I'm so busy most of the time with schoolwork or after school activities, that I don't have the time to get bored. Which I know sounds like a blast, but it gets kind of exhausting sometimes too.

It's just like Pacey to suggest something as ridiculous, as you trying to run for student body president! Let's face it, Dawson! People like us, Jen and Pacey just aren't the overcompensating-for-something go-getter types, who'll sign up for that kind of stuff.

Say hi to your folks from me and take good care of yourself!

Joey

Dawson had, in the roughly four weeks since Joey had flown to France, compiled an array of go-to thoughts, whenever he started thinking about her and the thoughts of her wouldn't leave his brain again. His most commonly used one in those situations, was contemplating what his next movie would be about. With a budget of five thousand big ones (the prizemoney from the film festival, his dad had (without his knowledge) entered his first movie into), he had a new-found freedom to do what he wanted with this magnum opus, without constantly having to worry if a shot was affordable or not. Something, that his first movie had all too obviously suffered from.

There in laid part of the problem too. If he wound up wasting that prize money on a movie, that didn't live up to his own expectations, he knew that it would bug him endlessly for months, if not years, on end. He'd gone through dozens of ideas in his head and tried to put a handful of them down on paper, with him rejecting all of them, for not having the potential of being up to the standard, he wanted to set for his future movie Ouvre. He wasn't kidding himself into thinking that it would become a modern-day masterpiece, the kind of movie that opened doors for himself in Hollywood and beyond, yet he still wanted it to be a movie, that he could at least show to the people that he knew, with a sense of pride and achievement.

"So, Dawson. When do you start shooting that masterpiece, you've been working so hard on?" his dad asked him, while they were trying to get some heat back into their bodies with a cup of hot chocolate, after they'd been out in the cold, to put snow chains on the wheels of both his dad's and his mom's respective cars. With the harsh North-Eastern winter having arrived in what felt like it had been one week to the next, it had been about time as well, albeit a frozen-to-the-bone experience.

"I keep getting five to ten pages into writing the screenplay, before I realize that I can't see it speaking to me, when I get it on film" he told his dad with an easily detectable hint of frustration.

"What kind of movie would you guess, would speak to you?" his dad asked, in an obvious attempt to help him get started. It was hard for him to exactly say. His favorite movies were spread throughout vastly different genres, and it was hard to come up with a common thread, that bound them together.

"I guess that what I'm leaning towards, is making it a coming-of-age love-story. I just don't want it to be the kind of trope-filled, conventional love-story, that you see in most teen movies. It has to be a movie with heart, and I want it to have a strong and heart-felt message to it. The one thing I'm not sure of yet, is what that message should be".

"If it's a love-story, wouldn't it make sense for that message to be about your own feelings regarding love and what it does to people?"

His dad wasn't barking entirely up the wrong tree, there was only one problem with his idea. For as much as Dawson loved to be with, adored and deeply cared to his bones about his very sweet and in every way wonderful girlfriend Mary-Beth, he still hadn't experienced that life-changing "Moment of Clarity" with her. That infamous moment that he'd read about or seen characters in books and movies have, when they realize that they're up to their ears in love with someone and have to be with that person for the rest of their lives, no matter what the cost to themselves is.

He was emotionally mature enough too, to know that this Joey obsession, he'd had lately, wasn't a case of him actually being in love with her. It was simply a deep longing that came out of missing a girl, who'd been arguably the most stable force in his life, for almost as far back, as he could remember. His love for the sometimes-charming young miss Potter went back to their early childhood, there was no denying that. Still, even if she had been close by and not been crazy in love with Pacey (and Pacey also vice-versa with her), he still wasn't sure that the two of them dating would be the best of ideas. Aside from it possibly costing him, what he knew would be one of the best friends, he'd ever have in his life, it would also involve having to break the fragile heart of an innocent sweetheart like Mary-Beth.

Having to do that was the absolute last thing, Dawson wanted to have on his conscience.

Abby had always seen anyone, who voluntarily did more schoolwork, than they absolutely had to, as either having no life, or being in some small way out of their tiny, little minds. How was it then, that she somehow wound up signing up to be a candidate for student body president?

It all began on what had begun as your standard run-of-the-mill Wednesday morning, if your name was Abby Morgan and you were living in the Potter house as a fifteen-year-old in Capeside in 1999. Her teething "Step Little Brother" Alexander had woken her up three times during the night with his crying and she'd been feeling cranky from the moment, when her alarm clock sounded at far too early of an hour, as far as she was concerned. By the time she'd arrived for school, she was still in the kind of foul mood, where no one should dare to say the wrong thing to her, or they would face her un-adulterated wrath.

The first of her friends, that she ran into, was Jen, who was shaking her head at the sight of a campaign poster, hanging on a nearby wall.

"Do you fancy a glimpse into what the opposite of utopia looks like?" Jen dryly asked her, as Abby came up to her friend and shot a gander at the poster, Jen was checking out.

"You have to be kidding me!" was the only response, that seemed fitting at that moment.

"There's our dark future, staring us right in the face! Belinda and Chris Wolfe, running for student body president and vice president together! You just know that they'll turn this school into one long waking nightmare, for the ninety-nine percent of us, who can't stand them and their clique pals!"

"What about their campaign slogan? "Bringing true American, Christian values back to Capeside High". I'll give you three guesses, who that's subtly directed at!" Abby complained and if that wasn't enough, it wouldn't be many minutes after this, until they were unlucky enough to come face to face with the most loathsome girl, she'd met in her life. Belinda was catching students on their way to class and trying to score some easily bought votes, by handing out what were clearly cheap, store-bought cupcakes. When Abby and Jen came up towards Capeside's own miniature version of Alexis from "Dynasty" however, all they got was an icy glare.

"I'd offer you two a cupcake, but I don't need the freak vote to win that election in a landslide!" Belinda taunted them, as they tried to pass by her un-noticed and on a usual day, Abby wouldn't have dignified a lame insult like that with as much as the slightest turn of her head. Unfortunately, the combination of who it was, and the mood Abby was in, suddenly brought out the old fighter in her and (as it often had happened before), led to her speaking her mind, before thinking about the potential consequences.

"Tell me, Belinda, because I'm curious. Does being a sad, D-Rate parody of every mean girl, I've seen in teen movies come naturally to you, or did you have to take some kind of special lessons on how to improve your level of bitchiness?" she snarled back at her latest nemesis, who didn't have the common sense to back off, when Abby got right up in her scrunched-up face.

"At least, I'm not an abomination in the eyes of God and everyone in Capeside! That you would dare to go around flaunting that you're a disgusting lesbo, only tells me ..."

That was as far as Belinda got in the latest of the hundreds (if it wasn't thousands) of little taunts, that she'd sent Abby's way over the years, before Abby, in a moment that she had been building up to for practically her entire life, had enough and threw a punch straight at her enemy's face. It came so out of nowhere, that Belinda had no time to react, before Abby's small, but hard-hitting fist, hit her rival square on the jaw and sent her tumbling butt-first, down to the floor. Most of the bystanders didn't know how to react, but she could hear how a good few of them laughed at seeing Belinda being put in her place by the kind of underdog, that girls like Belinda saw as being so far beneath them in the school pecking order, that to them, they may as well not have existed at all. As for Abby, even if she was in principle against using violence as a problem-solving mechanism, she couldn't deny that landing that punch had felt damn good!

Following a rather unpleasant trip to the principal's office later, that resulted in Abby getting Saturday detention for the next three months and a warning that she would be suspended, if she got into another fight for the rest of the school year, she'd made up her mind on what the only way was, that she could feasibly do anything to someone with the kind of social standing and popularity that Belinda, being the head cheerleader at Capeside High, had. She would run for student body president, only she wouldn't run to win the election. Winning it would be arguably the worst thing, that could happen and would result in herself having to spend even more time at school, than she was already forced to! The one and only reason why she'd decided to run, was to prevent Belinda from winning.

Now the only question was who her campaign manager should be.

If Mary-Beth had one part of her personality, that she desperately wanted to change, it was to not be so much of a push-over, yet another side effect of being possibly the shyest of all of the shy girls at her school. It even extended to when she went shopping and was why she'd twice come home with newly bought shoes, that were so butt-ugly in her own eyes, that she still hadn't worn them, outside of that first time in the shop, where her lack of ability to say no, had gotten the better of her again. To make it even sadder, she sometimes spent hours just practicing saying no to people in the mirror, to see how it felt to her. While she was all too aware that it was slightly pathetic of her, to have to take it at that much of a snail's pace, she also knew that working on being braver in that aspect was a long process and not something, she would be able to change right away, just because she wanted it to.

"Why don't you give it a shot?" Dawson had almost casually asked her during their study date that evening, following a short discussion between them, over how there wouldn't be any candidates that would be worth voting for in the upcoming student body president election.

"Me?" she replied shyly. "I can't stand up on a stage in front of everyone at school and give big speeches, Dawson. It just isn't in me!"

"Mary-Beth, you know how crazy I am about you. I don't think that anyone knows how much it annoys you, to be as shy as you are, better than I do. For Pete's sake, it took you visiting me three times here, before my mom got a word out of you! That has to have been a new record for her! You still overcame that hurdle, didn't you?" he tried to encourage her. To his credit, it also worked quite a bit.

"Your parents couldn't have been nicer to me, if they tried. I can't say that about a lot of those, I go to school with".

"That only makes it better! Think about it for a second. If you can do this, there isn't any further that you can go up, as far as situations, where you have to speak to a large crowd goes. That's unless, we're talking about you running for president someday! You know that I'd vote for you in a heartbeat and I'm pretty sure, that my parents would too! They both adore you, in case you hadn't noticed!" he very sweetly and smilingly joked, bringing a just as sweet smile out of her.

"I'm also pretty sure that you and your parents would be the only ones, who would!" she joked back, in an attempt to avoid addressing his suggestion.

"If I were you, I'd at least consider it. This isn't about me wanting you to change anything about yourself. In my eyes, you're a perfect ten, just the way you are. I'm just worried that if you keep hiding what an amazing girl you are from everyone else, except for me and our parents, it will hold you back and lead to others, who aren't as deserving of it, getting ahead of you someday. Give everyone at school a small glimpse into who you are, and it'll be impossible for them not to like you. I'm proof of that" he told her with a kind smile, that was soon followed up by a small kiss as a reward for his kind words.

Maybe she should try running in that election, even if it was all to see, if she could stand being the center of attention. It wasn't like she had any social status to speak of, so she didn't have anything to lose, and it could even end up being fun, trying something that unlikely for her to do!

Was it just an attempt to soothe his guilty conscience for having trouble not thinking about a girl, who wasn't his girlfriend, that had led to Dawson suggesting that his actual girlfriend ran for student body president? Dawson had to keep asking himself this question, after Mary-Beth had headed home. In some way, it probably was and as he'd come to find out, doing little nice things like that for his high school sweetheart, also had the adverse effect of making him feel less guilty that his fantasies those days rarely involved only himself and Mary-Beth, if she was in them at all. Not that he wasn't aware that it isn't a rarity for guys his age to have fantasies about a bit of this and that in the heat of the moment, or that he was sure, that the same thing went for all of the girls, he knew. Unlike how he imagined it was for them, he'd often felt guilty after he was done pleasing himself and putting a smile on Mary-Beth's, in his own humble opinion, unbelievably cute face, was the perfect antidote to get that feeling of guilt out of his system.

He could have tried to run in the election, for sure, but with school, his after-school job and to add to that, having to put together, what he hoped would become a movie that he could be proud of, when it was finished, piling even more on his plate at that time would have meant that one of those other parts would have had to give. Taking a position like that, in the highly unlikely event that he was even to win the election, also meant taking on a lot of extra work and responsibilities, that he could do without having to worry about. For his girlfriend however, this could be the perfect opportunity for her to come out of her shell and just the thought of how thankful she would be towards him, when they announced her as the winner of the election, would be enough to help him to excuse himself from the un-pure thoughts about Joey, that the raging hormones running through him wouldn't allow to forget about, even if he wanted them to.

"What about "The Sensible Party", if we're the only sensible choice to vote for?" Abby threw out there to Jen, while they were waiting for Jen's shift at "Screen Time" to come to an end. The sad fact was that Abby rarely had anything interesting to do on her evenings off, if Melissa didn't have the time to hang out, and as a result, she would often come down to keep company with whoever was working that evening at the video store (be it Pacey, Jen or the both of them).

"Is it technically a party, if you're the only member so far?" Jen (quite logically) asked her back.

"Here I thought that I could already include you! You want to see Chris and Belinda lose just as badly as I do, don't you?"

"Admittedly, I'm far from an expert on politics, but I know enough to know that it's a dirty game and definitely not something, I feel any need to get myself involved in! I've played enough "dirty games" for one lifetime, if you really must know!"

"Like what?"

"Like what, what?"

"What kind of dirty games are we talking here? If it was something sexual, then it's your sworn duty as my best friend to provide me with all of the details!" Abby implored her friend to no avail, since it clearly wasn't something, Jen wanted to discuss any further, than what she'd already divulged.

"The things that happened during that part of my life and I don't want everyone, I'm friends with now to know about, I'm taking to the grave! You'll just have to settle for imagining, what it could have been! Knowing more than I'd like to about your slightly dirty mind, like I do, I can't imagine that would be a problem for you!" Jen, in no uncertain terms and quite correctly, sharply replied.

"Alright! What if I called my new political project the "We Hate Belinda Party"? It's sure to gather attention among all of those, who like us can't stand her fake-righteous self!"

"It's also sure to get you even more detention, than what you already got today for punching the queen of all bitchiness in the face. How do you think Bessie would react to that?" Jen inquired and Abby instantly knew that Jen was in the right, that poking the proverbial bear that was Bessie Potter, probably wouldn't be a clever tactical move on her own part. Especially, considering that she still hadn't told Bessie or Brodie about the first round of detention, she'd already been "sentenced to" earlier that day and wasn't looking forward to telling them about in the slightest. Even if she couldn't care less what girls like Belinda or the small-minded majority of Capeside's population thought of her life choices, she still cared deeply about what those closest to her thought and right now, Bessie and Bodie were near the top of that list.

Just as Abby was trying to think up the perfect name for her freshly started political movement, the store door opened and in came a gasping for breath Jack, holding a couple of VHS covers. Like clockwork, whenever she caught the smallest glimpse of the handsome young Mr. McPhee, it made Jen light up in a dreamy smile. Jen's crush on him was so obvious, that Abby couldn't help herself from finding both it and how oblivious Jack was to her friend's obvious teenage lust after him, more than a little funny.

"Made it on time! I had to bike down here as fast as I could, to get here before closing time!" Jack gaspingly said, while still trying to catch his breath after the hard work-out, he'd just subjected himself to.

"I would have let it slide, just this one time!" Jen flirtingly answered him, as he handed the cassettes to her, and she began to scan them back into the system. As she did, Abby tried to catch a glimpse of which movies, he'd been watching. From what she could tell though, they'd probably been rented by his sister, unless Jack had been on a serious Molly Ringwald trip lately.

"So, what have you guys been up to tonight?" Jack asked in a casual, making small talk, kind of manner.

"Not much, although you know miss Edmondson, the art teacher at school. She came in here to rent that movie "Bound" for what has to have been the third time, just in the time I've been working here, so ..."

"You're thinking that she's like ..." Jack almost finished Jen's sentence, before stopping himself shy of naming the third person in the room.

"You can say it, Jack! I'm not ashamed anymore to admit, that I prefer girls ... or rather one girl, as it is! Say it with me: Homosexuality!" Abby teasingly said and was amused by how shy Jack got, just at hearing its name said out loud.

"Homosexuality. I'm not some bigot, who has anything against gays, if that's what you're thinking" Jack answered her with a small hint of irritation in his voice.

"I never thought, you were, Jack!" she reassured him. "Do you have any good ideas for what I can name my new political party? My ideas clearly all suck or will get me into even more trouble, if I go with one of them and Jen here has been of less help tonight, that having an umbrella, when you're about to be hit with a Tsunami tidal wave would be, so I'm all too willing to listen to any suggestions, you might have".

"What about "The All-Inclusive Party"? A party for everyone, no matter who they are and what their social standing is" Jack suggested.

"The words "All-Inclusive" sound like you stole them from an ad for a hotel! What about calling it the "Inclusive Party". It still says that you'll stand up for the outsiders at school, like we are and it doesn't exclude anyone, who sees a kinship with the message, you're sending" Jen suggested.

"Which is?" Abby had to ask, since she hadn't thought that far ahead yet.

"That in order for the school to become a pleasant place to spend time for all of us, you can't have it being run, even in the slightest way, by people like Chris or Belinda, who have no idea what it's like to be one of us, because they've never tried it" Jack surprisingly threw into the conversation.

"Guys, how would you like to be my joint campaign managers? Of course, it would mean that you'll be spending many hours working closely together ..."

"I'm in!" Jen enthusiastically chirped in, long before Abby even got to finish her sentence. Jack, on the other hand, wasn't looking quite as much up for it.

"Please, Jack! I can deliver the message like it's nobody's business, but I know that I'd be as awful when it comes to coming up with the finer details, as Steven Seagal is at delivering a convincing acting performance. You and Jen already complete each other's sentences and you two clearly have a knack for it!" Abby begged him with her eyes and whether it was that or the hopeful look on Jen's face that made him give in; she didn't really care.

When that day had begun, she would never have imagined that it would have ended like it did. But, now that it had, she couldn't wait to get started on what would be her first, and probably only ever, election campaign.

The more Mary-Beth thought about running for class president on the ride home, the more the fear began to creep up in her, that she would stand there tongue tied in front on an entire school assembly and it would be the moment, that made her give up on trying to be more than the mousy girl, who never had the courage to speak up, if she had something interesting to chip in with or heard something, she didn't like. She could easier see that happening, than herself getting a rousing applause, not that she could remember that ever happening there, if it wasn't thanks to the school basketball team getting one of their rare home game wins.

The way Dawson had said it though, made her think that it wasn't impossible, and it could at the same time be something they did together and brought them even closer to one another, than they already were. Lately, it had felt to her like he was starting to lose interest in her, and he would sometimes zone off to parts unknown, while they were having a casual conversation. That didn't used to happen, when they'd just begun dating and although, she didn't have any experience when it came to relationships (except for the few things, she'd tried with Dawson), she couldn't imagine that it was a beneficial sign of them staying together in the long term, like she'd slowly begun hoping with all of her heart, that they would.

Although, she hadn't told him yet, the idea of them having sex was rapidly beginning to not feel as scary to her, as it had before their first kiss. She would tell him eventually, when she someday felt ready to, that much she was sure of. Would she sleep with him though, if that was what it took to keep her man from moving on to someone else, who would go all the way with him, like she knew that some of the girls in their grade gladly would? That part, she wasn't entirely sure of anymore.

END OF CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT

Chapter Text

"Look what's happening out in the streets

Got a revolution! (Got to revolution!)"

JEFFERSON AIRPLANE (from the album "Volunteers" (1969)

Sent: February 3rd, 1999

From: Jen Rocks

To: A Girl Named Joey

Subject: Boy troubles

Hi, Joey. How crazy do you think it's possible to be about a guy, you haven't even kissed yet? I've been asking myself that question a lot lately, now that Jack and I have been working so hard together on Abby's election campaign. Abby herself, as you could probably imagine, is more concerning herself with soaking up all of the adulation, she's been getting at school since she stood up to Belinda last week, than anything involving actual student politics. But I have to give her that she's already become pretty great at doing that politician thing, where they say a whole lot, without really saying anything at all. It seems to be working for her though, so who's to say that she can't pull off an upset. I can easier see her winning than mousy, little Mary-Beth, although don't Dawson that I called her that. She really is a total sweetheart, once you get to know her and her and Dawson are all kinds of cute together, but let's be real here: If she's too shy to talk to anyone, that she's doesn't at least know pretty well, how big are the chances of her winning anything, that involves her having to talk to strangers and trying to get them to vote for her?

Meanwhile, I've been constantly driving myself crazy with trying to come up with the perfect way of telling Jack, how I feel about him. I'll do it soon, I promise, I just need to find the absolute perfect moment to make my move. Keep those fingers crossed for your old pal back in Capeside here!

PS: How did you tell Pacey, that you're in love with him? I'm just curious!

XOXO

Jen

Sent: February 2nd, 1999

From: A Girl Named Joey

To: Jen Rocks

Subject: re: Boy troubles.

I could easily imagine Abby soaking up being the belle of the ball at school for once in her life! I just wish that I could have been there to see it, when she clocked Belinda in the mouth, because that would have made my week or perhaps even, my month! You have no idea how much of a mean bitch that girl has been towards me, ever since we were little kids, trust me! Since I can't be there to cast my vote, you'll have to make do with all the positive thoughts, I've been sending your way lately. Even if the realist in me thinks that there's a bigger chance of me seeing a pig fly when I return to Capeside, than any real changes being made at Capeside High, my rarely used overly optimistic side is rooting for you three underdogs all the way.

Telling Pacey that I love him just kind of came out naturally, after we'd been dating for a while and I'd become absolutely sure, it was how I really felt about him. Being without him now is harder, than I'd ever imagined it would have been, so you aren't the only one, who's having her share of "boy troubles" (even if they're radically different issues, we have to deal with). I would advise you not to wait too long though, because with how you've been talking him up, there's bound to be other girls than just you, who have a thing for him.

Good luck with everything!

Joey

To be honest, when Jen had first heard Abby mention the idea of running for student body president, she hadn't thought that her often talking-before-she-thinks friend would have followed through with it. After all, it wasn't uncommon for Abby to come up with some spur of the moment idea, that very few else would have come up with and then, when it came to actually doing it, not having the courage to follow through. For as big of a mouth as Abby had, there was a hidden shyness to her and Jen could remember at least one time, where she'd mentioned that doing any kind of public speaking was one of the last things she could imagine doing, second only to going on a date with any of the boys at their school or turning up there without make-up on.

Perhaps this was a sign, that this was a new Abby. A girl, who was letting the self-esteem that she was getting from having someone like Melissa to boost her confidence and cheer her on all of the time, make her willing to take more chances. Although, you couldn't say that she was a natural at being a politician (she was still the same sharp-tongued old Abby Morgan in some ways, when it came down to it), she was slowly picking it up, as they went along with their campaign. Even if they were unlikely to win, they were still turning some heads with their message of unity and that at least, would end up being a small victory for them and their fellow outcasts at school, no matter what.

For herself, it wasn't working out too bad either, seeing as it meant that she got all of the alone time, she could possibly have wanted with Jack, most of it being spent in his room at his family's house (that was practically like a mansion, compared to the small house that herself and Grams lived in). If only there would have been some making out involved their "work sessions", it would have been the cherry on the Sundae, but she was making some small progress with him, or so she hoped.

"What do we do if she gets called out on any of the you know, actual issues, that she's running on standing for?" she (in a very teen-speech way) asked Jack, as they were putting the final touches on Abby's speech for the "great debate" between the candidates, scheduled for the school assembly the next day. It was a valid question, since Abby clearly cared more about selling herself as a confident candidate, rather than a competent one.

"Cross our fingers and pray for a miracle?" Jack jokingly asked back, getting a giggle out of her, that only made the urge to ask him straight out if he liked her "that way" or not, grow even bigger inside of her.

"She'll do fine, I'm sure of it" he then reassured her, even it did little to make Jen believe that Abby would all of a sudden turn into the next version of Bill Clinton, when it came to making incredible excuses for past misbehaviors, should the need arise to.

"Oh, well. It can't go any worse than catastrophic, can it?" she quipped and his boyish smile at her lame joke was enough to make her nipples stiffen up a little. Luckily, Grams would have already gone to bed, when she got home, giving her all of the privacy, she needed to have a long hard imagining over what was lurking underneath those tight jeans of his, that did nothing to hide the size of the bulge hiding under those layers of rough-hewn fabric. Was he getting those same dirty thoughts, whenever he looked at her? She certainly hoped so.

On the roughly twenty minutes or so walk home, more thoughts of things she wanted to do to that boy's naked body kept running through her mind, almost quelling the fear that Abby would completely bomb at the assembly the day after. No matter what, she'd already decided that she would follow Gretchen's advice and simply come clean to him about her constantly naughtier growing feelings for him. The only thing that remained was getting the timing right and if the day after became a huge success for their small-time revolution, she figured that could be the perfect time to go for broke.

"Could this be the day, where you're finally asking Jen out?" Jack's sister Andie teasingly asked him, as they were coming up towards their school, where what was sure to be a more interesting school day than usual, awaited them.

"Shouldn't you be more concerned with your own lack of a dating life, since we came here?" he annoyedly snarled back, hoping that it would close the subject. It didn't work, though and only seemed to make Andie even more curious, as to what was going on between himself and that blonde girl, whom he couldn't deny that if he was ever to date a girl again, would be at the top of his very short list of choices.

"You're hiding something, Jackers! I can tell! Have you already kissed, and I just don't know about it yet, she asked full of hope that her brother has finally realized, that he could have met his potential soulmate in Jen?" Andie cheerfully asked him, and it wasn't like he didn't want to tell her, why it hadn't happened yet and, in all likelihood, never would. If he came out to her, his sister would be her same sweet and understanding self, she always was, that much he was a hundred percent sure of. It was more how everyone else would react, that stopped him from declaring his gayness to the world.

"Even if we had, like we haven't, if you really must know, you're the last girl I'd confess it to!"

"Why not?"

"You're my twin sister! Telling you about the details of my ... erotic adventures would just be weird!" he declared, like it should have been the only logical answer, he could have given at that moment.

"Everyone's already making up things about you two, so what's stopping you?"

"Like what?" he inquired, uncomfortable that such a thing was going on without his knowing.

"That girl Anna-Belle from my advanced math class told me, that she's sure that she's seen you making out down by the beach. Of course, after I pressed her on it, I also found out that with how far away she was, when she saw it, it could have been just about any dark-haired boy, blonde-haired girl combination from our school. I can tell you for sure though, that she isn't the only one, who thinks that there are things, you two aren't entirely coming clean about to everyone, if you know what I mean?"

"We haven't even held hands! Why would they ..."

"Jack, let me quickly explain something to you, as if this was anything that should need explaining in the first place! This is a boring-ass high school in a mostly boring-ass small town, where practically nothing happens outside of the tourist season! Of course, the students here will latch on to anything new and interesting that comes their way, and with you and Jen both still being "the new kids on the block" around here, you happen to fall into that category. I'm sorry to tell you, but there isn't anything that you can do to stop it!" Andie stated matter-of-factly and while he didn't want to, the sensible thinking side of him still had to agree with her.

"Why couldn't he just have been like almost everyone else at their school?", he thought to himself in a fleeting moment. It would have made everything in his life so much simpler, that much was for sure.

(Jen's main thoughts during the first half of the "Great Debate"):

"Try to concentrate on the debate, Jen and not on how tight Jack's pants are! Great! Now, you're picturing Jack in his underpants again! Stop it!"

"Mary-Beth is a so much better at this, than I ever thought she would be! Okay, stop imagining what Jack looks like naked! It isn't helping you! You so need to get laid again and the sooner, the better!"

"Aww, look how proud Dawson is of his adorable little girlfriend! Don't get me ... or rather, yourself, wrong, you're still glad that it isn't you in that role, but it would still be nice to just try being looked at like that for once! Like that'll ever happen!"

"Is this guy trying to talk all of us to sleep? It sure looks like he's doing a bang-up job at it! Just try not to yawn and it'll be over soon enough!"

"Stop talking, dude! I'm not the only one, who's bored to tears here!"

"Okay, so a top three of guys in here, you'd least like to do it with ... let's see. There's Chris, he has to be number one ... then again, there's also that zit-faced freshman kid, who you saw eating one of his own boogers for a dollar and of course there's always Larry "The Never Empty Fart Machine" Watson, if we're really scraping the bottom of the barrel! It's a tough call, I hate to say!"

"Pacey looks bored to tears too. Believe me, you're not the only one, buddy!"

"Finally, it's Abby's turn! Here's crossing your fingers, that she doesn't blow it!"

"Okay, so she came off to a nervous start, but she's getting a hang of it. Come on, Abby! I believe in you! Sort of, anyway!"

"That's it, get them to nod along with you! And ... one of the jocks is making an obscene gesture at you. Does he actually think doing that would work on any girl with respect for herself?"

"Yes, she got the biggest cheers out of the candidates, we've seen so far! We could actually end up winning this thing! Okay, so back to the important stuff again ... does Jack wear boxers or briefs, I wonder?"

After Abby's speech had gone down like a chocolate cake at a kid's birthday party, Jack couldn't help but feel a sense of pride, that he was playing his small part in creating change in a school, where it was all too obviously needed. All of that quickly faded from his mind though, once Belinda took the pulpit and let loose in what can only be described as a display of ultra-bitchy behavior for the ages! He'd met types like her at their old school, just like he imagined that there were at least one of them at every high school in the world, but he'd never seen anything like this before, when it came to blatantly trying to destroy someone else, who had done little to nothing to deserve it.

Mary-Beth got off the easiest, probably because there was nothing that anyone could have against a girl, who always played by the rules, very rarely spoke up and had never done anything bad to anyone else in her entire life. The next pair of candidates didn't get off as easy and it looked to Jack like if Belinda had been a boy, then they would have clocked her one, to shut her the hell up. Abby got it by far the worst and when Belinda told everyone about her mom being a raging alcoholic, who would soon be sent to jail, it was enough to send Abby humiliated and crying, running out of the auditorium, as an uncomfortable silence fell over every onlooker in there, save for the faint sounds of a nervous giggle here and there.

Jack could far from claim to be among the bravest of those his age, still in that second, he didn't care if himself and Abby were at best just loose acquaintances, or that everyone would stare at him, if he went after her. It would probably give the most gossip-loving of the girls some ideas that something was going on between himself and her, but for those fleeting moments, he couldn't find it in himself to care either way. If this was his way of standing up for a "fellow gay person" for the first time, then that was how it would be.

He caught up with her not far from the doors to the auditorium, already in the process of cleaning out her locker.

"Don't you think that's being kind of hasty?" he shyly asked, as he came up to her.

"I can't come back here after that, Jack! You don't know what it was like living with my mom or all of the crap, that woman put me through, while I was living with her! To have it all be announced to the world like that is ..."

"Enough to make it feel like your entire world is falling apart?" he asked and made her stop what she was doing, to look him square in the eyes.

"It's enough that I know that I'm bound to turn out as a pathetic loser, who'll wind up working some dead-end minimum wage job here, because that's what always happens to small-town girls like me! We don't get to go off to college or have big careers that earns us so much cash, that it would make Bill Gates envious! We turn out the exact same as our mothers did and mine is on a downward slope with no end in sight, Jack. They'll never look at me the same way, now that they all know that that's what my future looks like too" she told him as earnestly, as he'd ever seen her be before, while a few more tears began flowing down her cheeks.

"Let me just ask you one thing and then, I'll leave you alone to do whatever you want to with your life. What makes you so sure?"

"Of what?"

"That you'll amount to nothing or that they'll never look at you the same way again?"

"Because ... I just know, okay?"

"No, that isn't okay! If you think that you're the only one, who's scared over what'll happen in your future, I can tell you that you're not!"

"Please! With your family's money and everything else, you have going for you, you can get into any college, you want to, except for perhaps Yale or Harvard! My family have no money to send me to school for. Even if I've really been trying my hardest in school lately, my grades suck donkey balls and all I had going for me was this stupid idea, that I could somehow stop Belinda from becoming the uber-bitch of all of Capeside High! Do yourself a favor and save your breath for someone else, because this girl is a lost cause!"

"I don't think that you're a lost cause" a voice said, as the girl that it belonged to, came up behind him. "I think you're amazing and that there isn't anything you can't do, if you put your mind and soul into it", she continued, as he turned his head to see that it was Melissa.

"You can't make me change my mind!" Abby tried half-heartedly retorting. It didn't stop Melissa from coming up closer to her, as Jack took a step back to give them some semblance of privacy.

"Don't be too sure about that just yet!" Melissa smilingly replied and moments later, Jack became a close-hand witness to the first same-sex kiss, he'd seen in real life. He'd seen it on TV and sometimes felt a little jealous, that the ones he was watching were open about who they were, when he couldn't find it in himself to be. Seeing it up-close like this however, had a much different kind of impact on him, than any of those other times had.

It also helped to make him sure of another thing: He had to come clean about being gay to Jen and the sooner, the better, before there was any chance that she ended up getting emotionally hurt, due to himself being such a coward over such as a simple thing as being faithful to who, he was.

If there was such a thing as something that he was entirely sure of, it was that Jen deserved so much better than that.

Jen sincerely hadn't thought that Abby would have had the courage to return to the auditorium after the humiliation, that Belinda (in the meanest way possible) had bestowed upon her. Had it been herself, then she probably would have either wanted to pick a fight with Belinda or to run and hide, but Abby did something even better than that: Not only did she return to the auditorium, she also unleashed a verbal tirade on her foe, that would have surely made Joey proud of her too, had she been there to see it, before finishing off the show with sharing a long kiss with Melissa (to the huge cheers of the many in the crowd, who clearly didn't share Belinda's narrow-minded ideas of what a "Proper Couple" should be. Or, as she suspected, were just horny teenage boys, who got off on seeing two pretty girls kissing, one or the other).

"When I first met you, I didn't think in my wildest dreams that I'd ever be saying this, but you're my new personal idol, Abby! You're right up there with Kim Deal from The Breeders, the girls from The Runaways and Patti Smith and that's saying something!" she grinningly told Abby on their way to the Ice House, where Abby's upcoming waitressing shift awaited, to no doubt get her back down to earth again, after the way she'd been almost treated as a rock star by their fellow outcasts, since her "public showing of emotion" with Melissa in the auditorium, a few hours earlier. Rumors had it that it had already led to one other same sex couple coming out in the wake of their very public smooch and if that was true, then who knew what kind of avalanche of openness, that one kiss could have brought with it.

"I'm truly honored, Jen!" Abby grinned back at her, with the pride still oozing off her tiny corpus and no doubt making her feel like she was a foot taller than usual!

"I haven't even asked yet: What did the principal say, when he called you to his office afterwards?"

"He added another day of Saturday detention onto the many, I've already been piling up lately! This time for "showing open disregard" to the PDA code in a public setting" Abby sighed. "Do you think Bessie will give me the chewing out of a lifetime again, like she did after I punched Belinda?"

"If you sell it to her the right way, I think she might even reward you for it. If you weren't out before, you definitely are now! How does that feel?"

"Like I need to tell my parents in person, before they find out through someone else! Even if they aren't exactly campaigning for parents of the year, they should still hear it from me first".

"What if they have any ... how do I say it ... objections to it?"

"Then I remind them how god awful they've been as parents to me these past years! If you want the truth, I don't think I'd care all that much, if one of them did. They may have brought me into this world, but any right they had to make decisions for me vanished, when they gave up on being the ones, who tried to raise me the right way. Anyway, I'm done with the whole "trying to be someone, I'm not"! This is just who I am, a too often big-mouthed teenage lesbian from a small Northeastern town, who has no idea what she wants to do with her life and without a doubt has a ton of issues stemming from her childhood, that she still needs to work on!"

"Scratch out the big-mouthed and lesbian part and you might as well have been describing me or most of the other girls, who go to our school. It's probably why they've begun flocking to you, that they see one of their own in you. The boys too, although you could have won over an undesired group of them, let's call them "the pervert voters", with your not-so-little smooch with Melissa, so you might want to watch out for that!"

"Who cares, as long as they like me? I haven't told you the best part yet. Guess who I'll be spending Saturday detention alone with in the library?" Abby winked, like Jen needed to ask, in order to know the answer.

"It supposed to be a punishment, Abby! Maybe, I should do something to give myself Saturday detention, so I can be there to chaperone you two! Do you think that calling Mr. Peterson a fossil will be enough, or do I have to take it a step further than that?" she teasingly asked, as Abby shook her head in protest.

"Don't you dare, Jen! It was all Melissa's idea, you know? For us to kiss in front of everyone. She came up with it right after our first kiss, out in the hallway just before our second kiss, that was the one you ... and everyone else, saw. Wanna hear something else? I think that I'm falling in love with her! If I'm not already, I'm not entirely sure on that part! I mean, it isn't like I've actually been in love before, where it was like this and ..."

"The other party liked you back the same way?" Jen interrupted, as Abby nodded along with her in understanding.

"Jealous?"

"A little bit. I'm just happy for you, that you've found someone like her, to have those feelings for and who has them for you too. You wouldn't happen to have some spare courage that you can send my way, so I can stop with this ever more pathetic growing chickening out when it comes to asking Jack, if he wants to try going on a date with me?"

"Do you want me to test the waters for you?" Abby asked and it wasn't the worst of compromises between trying to forget about her crush and going for broke with asking him straight out, if he wanted to play an intense game of tonsil hockey.

"Try to be a little subtle, alright? I don't want to risk this friendship, I've begun to build with him over this either" she answered, before becoming immediately unsure of that answer just moments later.

"I can be subtle, when I have to! Just leave it to me, Jen and I'll get you your answer in no time!" Abby tried to reassure her, although Jen still had her deep doubts on the subject.

With their mom having one of her "bad days" and not being able to do much, Jack had suggested to his sister that they went to the Ice House for dinner, mostly because he'd Pacey heard praising their burgers and he hadn't had a proper restaurant burger since before they'd left Providence over a month and a half earlier. Andie had been easy to convince and from there on, all he'd wanted was an evening with no stressing over anything, least of all any "Jen Problems". Unfortunately, their waitress for the evening was Abby, who (as it was quickly coming to find out about her) wasn't one to pull any punches, when it came to asking directly.

"Okay, Jack. So, you'll have the double bacon cheeseburger with fries and a large coke on the side. Andie, can you tell me why your brother is such a dumbass, that he can't see clear as day that Jen has an enormous crush on him?" Abby, as she was taking their orders, quite openly asked his sister, making himself immediately want to crawl under the table or making a go for the door.

"I don't know, Abby! I've been asking myself that same question a lot! Why is it, Jack?" his sister asked him, as both girls (in spite of both of them being shorter than himself) stared him down to make him feel around three inches tall.

"It's ... complicated, okay!" he tried with, only it didn't satisfy either of his two interrogators.

"See, even he doesn't know anymore!" his sister teasingly said.

"Just ask her out on one date, Jack! If it works out, then that's great and even if it doesn't, then you can say that you've tried it and both of you can move on. If not for yourself, then you can at least do it for Jen. She deserves to know where she stands, don't you agree?" Abby asked and something in what she said made him think to himself, that she wasn't entirely off in her idea. Not all of it, but just going on a date with Jen didn't naturally mean that he had to do anything physical with her and if their date was bad, that could get her to forget about her impossible crush on him.

"There's a dance coming up soon. You could ask her to be your date for that?" his sister suggested and after they'd finished their dinner, they'd stopped by Screen Time, where he knew that Jen and Pacey were working the evening shift together. He'd only had to hint at asking Jen to come with him to the dance, before she'd asked the question for him and with that, the plan was set.

Now, he just had to keep her at bay for a few weeks until the dance and use that time to work on the details for how exactly to fulfill his plan.

END OF CHAPTER TWENTY-NINE

Chapter Text

"The bitch is back!"

ELTON JOHN (From the album "Caribou" (1974))

Sent: February 12th, 1999

From: That Witter Guy

To: A Girl Named Joey

Subject: What a week!

Hi, Honey. I hope you're doing well over there in the land of baguettes and fine wine. Over here, I've had a week to remember, it's safe to say! Where do I even begin? It all began on a boring Sunday evening, where I was at work at Screen Time ...

"How does this sound to you? The twist is that the romantic interest girl, who you've been building up to be your main protagonist's perfect girlfriend for the entire movie, turned out to have been a robot all the time! It'll be the perfect bittersweet ending and best of all, no one will see it coming!" Pacey threw out there to Dawson, during what had become quite the drawn-out evening at Screen Time. They rarely worked together anymore (thanks to Dawson now preferring to work the day shift, so he could spend his evenings with Mary-Beth and Pacey usually studying with Andie in the afternoons after school), so Dawson was using this rare opportunity to pick his brain on ideas for the script, he was trying to write. Given the groan that his latest idea had gotten out of Dawson however, Pacey suspected that this was an idea that his oldest friend was beginning to regret coming up with.

"It also has zero build up to it! How are you going to logically explain to the audience, that she was a robot?" Dawson protested.

"Isn't that your job to come up with, since you're the one who's writing this movie?"

"Next idea, please!"

"I'm all out! Man, is this a dead evening or what? Ten bucks says that nothing interesting happens before closing time?" he offered Dawson, who only replied with a headshake.

Maybe, his friend should have taken that bet though, because soon after something interesting did happen (or more accurately, what Pacey would be willing to count as interesting on an evening like this), when a customer whom he'd never imagined seeing in their little store, came in.

"Look who got lost on her way to Park Avenue, Dawson!" Pacey quipped to his buddy, as Hannah Von Wenning came up to their counter, looking as smug as she'd ever done.

"This store must really be in dire straits, if they have you working here, Pacey!" Hannah jokingly fired back, as Dawson just shook his head at the both of them and their never-ending bickering, that only ended whenever Hannah left town again.

"If you need me, Pacey, I'll be in the back doing inventory. Anything is better than listening to you two!" Dawson stated, before doing as he said he would and heading to the same backroom, that Pacey himself had such fond memories of spending naked time with Joey in.

"I see that Dawson still has the same stick up his butt, that he did when we were kids!" Hannah remarked with a sly smile.

"He's switched it out a few times over the years! You can't be here of your own volition, so what's the story?" he asked, getting a sigh in response.

"Can't a girl just come down here to rent a movie, without getting the third degree from the eternal underachiever behind the desk?"

"They can, just not when it's you! Tell me the truth, or your chances of renting a movie are the exact same as me someday becoming president of this great country, we live in".

"I got kicked out of my high-end private school for cheating on a test, okay? Now, can I rent a movie, please?" she pleaded very insincerely and if it had been anyone else, he would have let them off the hook. It just wasn't in him, when it came to this particular girl.

"And?"

"It wasn't the first time! I also ... might have sold the copy I had of that test to a few of my classmates".

"Your parents' generous allowance wasn't enough for a shopping spree every day, huh? I feel your pain, I really do, poor little rich girl!" he joked sarcastically, as she rolled her eyes at him. "Go on, if you're really that desperate to rent one of the many fine movies, we have in stock here".

"Do you make every customer, who wants to become a member here go through this, or do I have to have a talk with your store manager over this sorry excuse for an interrogation, I'm being forced to go through right now?".

"To answer your questions, I strictly reserve these interrogations for special cases, where we're talking about "questionable types" like yourself. If you want to tell the manager, feel free to. I don't have a clue where he lives and neither does Dawson. We only know that he doesn't live here in Capeside and we've only each seen him once since he hired us to work here last year, so I wish you good luck with finding him!" he smugly told off his childhood nemesis. After another sigh and an eyeroll, she continued on with her story.

"Of course, one of them just had to grow a conscience all of a sudden and sell me out to the principal! The next thing I knew, I was packing my bags and being forced to take first a train and then a bus with all of the, to be honest, rather smelly common people, up here, because my now royally angry at me parents, were so mad that they refused to send a car to pick me up. The honest truth is that I'm stuck back here with a pair of parents, who keep me on the tightest leash that they can, and this was the closest I could find to having anything interesting to do tonight, so have a heart, Pacey! Let me at least rent some kind of entertainment from you, so there's a slight chance that I don't go crazy in that huge house, where's no one's talking to one another!" she confessed to him in what he had to give her, was a extremely convincing acting performance, if it wasn't true. He couldn't help himself from laughing a little at her predicament, even if it was a bit mean of him at that moment and after she'd left the store, he couldn't help feeling a little bad inside over having done it, either.

"I guess, this proves that karma is a real thing after all!" he teased her, while she rolled her eyes at him.

"I have to start back up in public school again tomorrow, can you believe that? Just saying it out loud makes we want to gag! Then again, it's the grave I've dug for myself!"

"It's nice to hear that you've become so much more self-aware with time, than you were the last time, I knew you, Hannah. Alright, I'll let you rent a movie, but don't think it's because I've all of a sudden taken a liking to you! It's only because I wouldn't put it against you, to use your family's untold number of connections, to find out where my boss lives and tell him about this incident. Even if you are a walking pain in the you know what, I'm still sure that if you introduce the element of a small wad of cash into the proceedings, he'd fire my sorry butt for refusing to serve you, without thinking twice about it".

"Aren't you the eternal charmer, Pacey?" Hannah quipped dryly, before paying for a membership card and the movie, she rented that evening: "Dangerous Liaisons".

During his bike ride home, he kept thinking back to the last time, Hannah had lived in town. When Pacey had been a kid, teasing the girls his own age had been his favorite pastime and none of them had been more fun to tease than Hannah, because he always knew that she'd come up with some kind of creative way of getting back at him. With Joey in a strong second place, it should be said, but Joey would just give him the silent treatment and that wasn't nearly as amusing to his unruly and very immature young mind, as having to mentally prepare for whatever it was, that Hannah was cooking up for him. Of course, he would never have told her back then, but he'd actually been very disappointed when his favorite nemesis had left town in grade five. As little as he wanted to admit it, he'd missed having her around to mess with for a good while there, until the formerly far too shy Joey had stepped up her ability to come up with the perfect comeback and she (for a few years, until their relationship had developed into something much more interesting) had taken up Hannah's old spot.

Anyway, it wasn't like he was expected to be some sort of welcoming committee for her and from what he gathered, they probably wouldn't end up talking more than him occasionally giving her movie advice at the store and her reminding him of what a loser, he'd always been and forever would be.

The next day hadn't started off smoothly, with him oversleeping by twenty minutes, and he already knew on the way out of the door that he would be at least ten minutes late for the first day of school that week. That he also had to stop and put the chain back on the bike, he'd gotten for his thirteenth birthday and wasn't as reliable, as it once had been, didn't help matters either and by the time he stepped through the door to his social studies class, it had been a good fifteen minutes since the last attendance bell had rung.

When he came in, it felt like everyone's heads turned to look at him, one of the things he'd learned to hate the most from the many times over the years, this had happened.

"Sorry, that I'm late. I had a problem with my bike" he excused himself with, even if he knew that it was a lame one and an excuse, he'd probably used once too many in high school already.

"Again, Pacey? You can't convince your parents to buy you a new bike?" the teacher joked, getting a giggle here and there from his students and making Pacey feel like he wished that he'd stayed home in bed.

"I wish!" he wise-cracked back and took his seat. It was then that he saw what was written on the blackboard: Home Economics.

It was only seconds later that the door opened again and who should come barging in, looking a mixture of frustrated and annoyed, than Hannah von Wenning herself.

"I couldn't find the right classroom. It's my first day here. You really should have better signage here! I know this school isn't rich but come on!" Hannah, in a way that did nothing to endear herself to anyone there, explained to their teacher and Pacey could tell that the few laughs he heard, felt far more humiliating to Hannah, than they would have to herself.

"I take it then, that you must be Hannah. Just remember, that you only get to use that excuse in my class once! And I'll be sure to pass on your suggestion to the principal!" their teacher lamely quipped, just before Hannah took an empty seat, that was as far to the back of the classroom, as she could find it.

"Since everyone else have already been paired up for our next assignment, Pacey and Hannah will have to make up our last couple" the teacher continued, immediately making a small shiver run down Pacey's spine. "Since you two weren't here when class began, I'll explain it again. You have to make out a household budget and Pacey, you're a mechanic, who makes twenty-four thousand dollars a year. Hannah, in our little game here, you're a receptionist and you earn twenty-two thousand. The pair of you have two young children, who are in pre-school, so you'll have to factor that into your budget as well. Other things, you'll all have to factor into your calculations ..." the teacher continued, but Pacey had long since stopped listening by the time they got around to talking about the average prizes of car insurance, house payments and the like.

He already had enough to get done with going to school, studying with Andie afterwards and not the least his job, that was all that was keeping him in enough money, to at least not feel like the biggest failure in all of Capeside. That he now had to factor in having to do an assignment with the most annoying girl, who'd ever walked the streets of their fair and cozy little town, sounded about as appealing to him as watching a bunch of hardcore porn movies with his mom and his older sister did. It didn't matter how he tried to twist and turn it in his head, he just really couldn't see any way that he could fit it into his already too tight schedule.

Speaking of Andie, she unknowingly came up with the solution, when she told him right after class was over, in the nicest and most polite way possible, that she had to blow off tutoring him for a few days, so that she could concentrate on making her own household budget. She'd been paired up with a boy named Ty, whom Pacey had to admit was arguably the one guy in their entire class, he'd spoken the least to so far. Mostly because he couldn't imagine what he would have in common with a bible pusher like Ty was rumored to be, but also because the guy seemed stuck up and like he was looking down on everyone else to him. Andie seemed thrilled over the possibility of getting to work with him though, so he let her off the hook as gently, as he could and sincerely wished her the best of luck with her project. It wasn't like he had any major tests coming up in the next weeks and with how much he'd begun to care for that adorably perky and always upbeat sweetheart of a girl, he knew that he would have felt guilty, if he'd been the reason that she'd gotten anything below an A-plus and soiled her so far unblemished academic record at her new school.

At lunch, something happened that he wouldn't have expected. He began feeling sorry for Hannah, when he saw her sitting by herself in her far fancier clothes, then anyone else was wearing and looking as much like fish out of water, as he would probably have felt, if he'd been thrown right into "her world" with practically no time to prepare for it. Without a friend in the world, the formerly so fearsome looking Miss Von Wenning looked fragile and lonely and to the part of him, that had a natural in-grown hatred of seeing a girl in her state of mind, it tore him up a small bit inside too. It crossed his mind for a moment, if he should ask his friends, if it would be okay that he offered her to sit with them but knowing that they'd probably think that he was joking and were likely to laugh him off, kept him from it.

He'd avoided Hannah for nearly the entire school day, just like he guessed that she'd been avoiding himself and the subject, they would at some point have to discuss, too. It couldn't be put off forever, however and seeing as he had the next two afternoons off from his usual tutoring service (named Andie), it also meant that he had to make the most of them. His chance to talk to the princess of the Von Wenning business empire came when they literally bumped into one another, when they both happened to be turning the same corner at the same time, coming from opposite directions. The "impact" made her drop her books and he had no doubt that hearing some girls nearby laugh at her misery, only served to make it that much worse.

"Thanks, Pacey! For making me even more of a walking joke, than I already am around this place!" she sarcastically told him off, as she bent down to get her books off the rather filthy looking floor. Being the gentleman, that he could be on occasion, he helped her of course, and she actually looked a tiny bit appreciative that he cared enough to.

"Hannah, do you think that you're the only one, who feels like a joke around here? Just be glad that you're not the one, who's on academic probation and will get held back, unless he keeps up what feels like an impossible GPA for the rest of the year!" he dryly told her, making no qualms over how frustrating his own predicament was to him.

"It sounds around as fun as having your parents monitor your every little move, until it makes you feel like a prisoner in your own home!"

"You have my sympathies. I actually mean that". he told her more or less sincerely and it brought a small smile out of her.

"Thanks, I guess. I'm sorry that you got put on academic probation, but then again, I can only guess that it was all your own fault?"

"And no one else's! I stopped feeling sorry for myself weeks ago, but it doesn't mean that it doesn't still suck!"

"You've managed to move on to acceptance, then. I'm still in the denial phase, I'm pretty sure. Pacey, my old school was awesome, and I was the princess there! I hadn't worked my way up to becoming queen bee yet, but I was getting there and here, I'm just a nobody. I can't even say that it's like starting over, because half of the girls here still hate me over how I used to behave, when I was still just an immature kid and the other half just plain dislike me, because I grew up privileged. It isn't like I asked to be born into a family like mine, you know? Trust me, being rich sounds great, but it isn't all a walk on roses, like they apparently think it is!"

"You don't think it could just be yourself being paranoid over something, that's all in your head?" he asked, and it looked like she conceded, that he could be at least somewhat right in his observation.

"I guess, we should come up with a plan for that study project, huh? I can't believe that our teacher made me a receptionist! That seriously sounds like most boring job in the entire world!"

"Do you think it's a coincidence, that I was made an auto mechanic? That like saying "Sorry, Pacey. I know that I'm supposed to pretend that there's a chance you'll go to college, but we both know that there's no chance of it!" So, are you free after school? I have to work at the video store in the evenings, now that I have to spend my afternoons studying to somehow, hopefully, avoid getting held back a year!"

"Yeah, sure. There's no reason to put it off, I guess. Hey, look at us, standing here and having an actual normal conversation without insulting one another in every other sentence!" she joked, and it made him nod along with her, given that this was the first time, he could ever remember it happening before.

As little as he would have expected it too, they actually ended up having a quite pleasant study session that afternoon at her family's house, the largest in the entire town and without a doubt also the residence, there'd been the most amount of money spent on turning into the envy of everyone else in Capeside, who came anywhere close to bringing in the kind of dough, that the extensive Von Wenning business empire brought in. That said, it still had a cold sort of feeling to it, like you would get in a museum or a hospital, more than the warm feeling from a loving house, that had people living in it. If he had to be honest, he wouldn't have wanted to live in a house like that and although, he hoped to one day have a house that was slightly bigger than the small one, he'd grown up in, he wouldn't want it to be too much larger either. Just as long as it felt cozy to him and he had Joey there with him, he would be perfectly fine with having far less.

It didn't take long for him to understand what Hannah had been telling him, when she'd told him that her parents were watching her every move. Aside from having to study with the door open, it was also pretty obvious from how either one of her parents or a member of their household staff would pass by the door and sneak a peek in every few minutes, that they didn't trust her further than they could throw her anymore. In spite of this, they still got an unexpectedly productive start to the project, helped by them agreeing on most things and both being willing to bend in the interest of getting the best grade, they could. Seeing as it was all make-believe anyway, he came into it with a distinct "Who Cares?" attitude, when it came to which house and car they should get, that she seemed to share with him.

By the time he headed off to work, he had to admit that he'd enjoyed himself in Hannah's company. Not in an "I want to date her" way or even in a "Would advise someone else to ask her on a date" kind of way (at least not, if it was someone that he didn't dislike), it was more in an "I guess, she isn't that bad after all" sort of way.

His evening shift was spent working with Jen and as it always was, working with her was a calm and chilled out experience, since she would always be right on it whenever there was work to be done, leaving him with the chance to catch up on his homework at the same time.

"So, tell me about Hannah. Has she come onto you yet?" Jen semi-jokingly asked, right after he'd put his last book away, putting an end to his slacking off at his job to do his other, more important, work for the day.

"No, of course, she hasn't! I seriously doubt that she's into me that way and even if she was, I have more than enough in the one, I already have!" he replied in a much more denying tone, than how he'd intended it to come out.

"I wouldn't be so sure, if I were you! Here's a "Jen Lindley Fun Fact" for you: My first date was with the boy, who used to tease me the most, when we were little. If you ask me, I think that when a little boy teases a little girl or vice versa, it's just because they're too young to either accept or say out loud, that they like one another".

"Look, Lindley. I won't deny that you could be right, when it comes to most little kids, but A; Her and I aren't little kids anymore and B; You weren't here back then! She was a tiny version of a literal pain in the ass, that girl! No one liked her, not even the girls who sucked up to her, all because she was the only one out of us, who could call herself rich! She loved to rub that fact in too, whenever she had the chance to, so don't think that I liked her in any way, shape or form! The short of the matter is that I couldn't stand her, just like none of my friends could stand her either!"

"You're so full of it, Pacey! I'll bet you every cent that I had to my name, that after she left town, you missed her! Maybe not for all that long, but you must have at some point. And don't try to lie to me, because when you lie, your nose does this small involuntary twitch thing, that gives you away" she told him, while mimicking the supposed twitch his nose made, whenever he said something that wasn't true.

"Aren't you the ever observant one? Okay, so I missed messing with her after she was gone, but it doesn't change that there isn't a single cell in my body, that wants to get caught up in any kind of romantic entanglement with Hannah Von Wenning!"

"What makes you sure that she doesn't want to?"

"Just because ..."

"Before you answer me that, allow me to ask you one more question. Who was the girl you teased the second-most, while you were growing up and how was it that turned out for you, exactly?" she (in an annoying "better-knowing than himself" kind of way) asked, while looking him dead in the eyes. Seeing as he refused to answer any more questions on the subject, that closed the topic as well, but it still kept lingering in the back of his head for the rest of the evening, if his new favorite co-worker (Dawson would oftentimes complain, whenever he slacked off and Jen never did, so that made her by default his favorite), could be right about Hannah having some kind of deep-rooted romantic feelings for himself, that perhaps Hannah herself wasn't entirely aware of either.

How he hoped that she never would be!

... and already this was turning into a week full of unexpected surprises. Look, my wonderful darling of a girlfriend, I'm sorry to do this, but I have to end it here for now. The second attendance bell has just rung, and I don't want to be late for any more classes in the near future. I'll write you a follow-up e-mail tomorrow, telling you about how the next part of the week went, I promise.

I love you so much, Honey!

Your very own Pacey.

Sent: February 12th, 1999

From: A Girl Named Joey

To: That Witter Guy

Subject: Damn you, Pacey!

You can't just leave me hanging like that! Did that bitch hit on you? Because if she did, then I have a right to know about it and there'll hell to pay for her!

Waiting eagerly for your next e-mail and for the next time, she'll get to hold and kiss you.

Joey

END OF CHAPTER THIRTY

Chapter Text

"I've never known a girl like you before

Now just like in a song from days of yore

Here you come knocking, knocking on my door

Well, I've never met a girl like you before"

EDWYN COLLINS (From the album "Gorgeous George" (1994))

Sent: February 13th, 1999

From: That Witter Guy

To: A Girl Named Joey

Subject: The Continuation

Hi, Joey. Sorry about the abrupt way, I ended my last e-mail, but I thankfully just made it to that next class on time. To answer your question first and put your mind at ease: Yes, Hannah wasn't shy when it came to putting the moves on me, but I hope that you'll be glad to hear, that I turned her down. It happened the day after we'd presented our project to the class, which we got a B-Plus on, by the way ...

Pacey rarely spent an evening at the house, that had been his home since his childhood. With it only being him and his mom left there now and the two of them not having a whole lot to talk about, past the usual questions about how the day had gone, it had become like a tomb there, when it came to how much life there was left in the house. It still beat the thought of living with his dad, but he'd already made up his mind that he would be out of that house the day after high school ended and the likelihood that he'd spend a second looking back was practically non-existent. However, with a small mountain of homework to get through and only until the day after to get most of it done, what he needed was an evening without distractions and that was the one thing his room provided him with in plenty. As a general rule, none of his friends had ever come to visit him there outside of his birthdays, back when he was a kid and his parents could still put up somewhat of a front of being a happy couple, when they in reality probably couldn't stand the sight of one another, even back then. Of course, rules are also made to be broken.

He'd been making solid progress during the afternoon and evening, with him only having taken a short break to eat dinner and otherwise kept his mind on his work. To his own satisfaction, he was actually so well ahead on time, that he'd even begun doing some of the homework that he didn't absolutely have to get finished by the day after, when he'd heard their doorbell ring downstairs. Thinking that it was probably someone, who was there to talk to him mom, he didn't pay it much mind, until he heard what unmistakably sounded like two pairs of footsteps approaching his door. His interest now piqued, he got up from his chair and opened his door, where he was as surprised, as he'd ever been to see anything, to see Hannah standing there next to his mom, wearing a stunning looking blue designer dress with a Gucci purse flung over her shoulders, that combined between them probably had cost at least twice as much as everything inside his room had, if you added the cost of it all together.

"You have a visitor, Pacey. She says that her name is Hannah. Is this who I think it is?" his mom had to ask, since this was quite clearly the WTF moment of a lifetime for her as well!

"It is, Ma. What I don't have a clue about is why she's here and dressed to attend a yacht club party" he asked leadingly, getting a small smile out of Hannah, while his mom still looked as confused as ever.

"This is just what I wear on a normal day, Mrs. Witter. I'm just here to talk to him about our school project, if that's okay?" Hannah asked his mom in a way that seemed almost humble, like she was deliberately making it seem like she gave a damn what a woman like his mom thought about her coming there or about anything, for that matter. A neat trick in how to humanize yourself, when you're hundreds of times richer than practically anyone you talk to, that she'd no doubt been taught from home. Or so, he guessed to himself in that moment.

"I guess so. We don't have anything at home that I can offer you, that would be fitting of someone like, well ... one of your kind!" his mom got out nervously.

"It's fine, Mrs. Witter! You have a lovely home here, you really do" Hannah continued to flatter his mom, who soon left them alone.

"Thanks" he more or less sincerely told Hannah, who was just about to sit down on his bed, while he closed the door to keep him mom from listening in (like he knew, that she'd probably try to, seeing as it was the first and very likely only time that a piece of Bonafide "Capeside Royalty" had or ever would enter her small and humble home).

"For what?"

"For making my mom think that your family gives a damn about the people, who keep you in money. You probably don't know or care, but she's been working for your family in one way or the other, ever since she was in high school".

"Is that so? Not that it means anything to me what you think about me or my family, but you really have an issue with rich people, don't you?"

"Are you here to change my mind? If you are, let me be the first to tell you, that you're wasting your time. Just so you know, it isn't all rich people, I have issues with. Only those, who made their money off the misery of others" he responded bluntly. It wasn't much of a secret around town, that Hannah's family not only had been keeping the town under an iron grip for almost a century, but also hadn't been above using dirty tactics to keep any competition to their own business empire out of their private little neck of the woods. Or, what some people would refer to as mob methods, but no one in Capeside would dare to use a phrase like that about the esteemed Von Wenning family, who meant so much to the town's economy, that they'd practically become synonymous with the town as a whole over the many decades that they'd effectively ruled in it.

"Why should I care how we've made our money? If you have a problem with it, I suggest that you try bringing it up in the next town hall meeting! Look, Pacey, I'm not here to talk about our project, which we've finished anyway, or to discuss the differences between rich and poor with you. How's that girlfriend of yours, who's over on the other side of the world?"

"Fine. Not that it's your business" he told her off sharply, while subconsciously beginning to back off from her, over to the open window.

"You're right, it isn't my business, and I won't even pretend that I care one way or the other, what happens to your precious little Joey" she began softly, as she began to get so far up close to him, that he could smell her perfume mixed with a light fruity fragrance coming from her freshly washed hair. "I've always been a girl, who got what I wanted, Pacey. If I wanted a pony or a new bicycle, all I had to do was use the right kind of sad puppy dog eyes on my parents and presto! Soon after, what I wanted was mine! You can imagine that going from that, to not having any of what I want, kind of blows a big one!"

"I'm sure that all of those starving children in third world countries would take one look at your life and feel as sorry for you, as I do!" he joked sarcastically and backed further off, to where he was now in actual danger of falling out of his own window, if he took one more step backwards. Hannah though, kept coming closer and closer to himself, to where she was lightly pressing her body up against his.

"I'll be totally blunt here, Pacey. You were my first crush and there's a part of me that wants to live that fantasy out, before I get back on my parent's good side and I can leave this backwater dump behind forever. If I don't die of boredom first, whichever comes first!"

"I'm sort of taken here, Hannah!"

"I didn't say that I wanted to start anything serious with you! You don't think that I would become the laughingstock of my entire family, if I brought you as my date to one of our family parties? I'm not sure that my parents wouldn't disown me in a second, if I brought you home and presented you as my new boyfriend, so no one can know about it! Joey won't have to know the slightest itty-bitty thing about it either. By the time she comes back to this sorry excuse for a town, I'll be back where I belong, in a well-to-do private school that puts that pitiful Capeside High to shame and in a city, that's worth living in, and you'll never have to worry about hearing from me again. For all I'll care, you and Joey can continue your wild and crazy romance, get married, perhaps even raise a few kids here and live happily ever after, with my fullest possible blessing. Heck, I'll even send you two a great, big wedding present, if you want me to!"

"I'm not interested!" he tried telling her off, even if being wanted like this by an admittedly rather attractive girl like Hannah was involuntarily making the blood rush southwards in his body.

"You didn't allow me to finish, Pacey. My family isn't just rich, we hold a lot of power in this community, as I'm sure you know. Your dad is up for re-election for sheriff next year, am I right?"

"Yeah" was all he said, not liking where this was going.

"Our family has always supported him, in spite of all of those around here, who say that he's a lush, who gets drunk on the job at least every other day and that ever since his wife, your mom, kicked his drunken ass out, he's been spending practically all of his after-work hours making an ass of himself in the bars around town. It makes you ask yourself, if that's really the kind of man that you want to be in charge of something that's as important as our local police force, doesn't it?"

"His job is all that he has left! Without it, he'll fall apart!" he blurted out, even surprising himself that he felt the need to jump to his dad's aid, when the way his dad had treated him throughout his childhood had done little to warrant it.

"Which is why I'm sure that having the support of the wealthiest family in town wouldn't hurt his re-election bid. I don't think that my folks care much either way who's chief of police here, as long as they don't stick their noses in our private business affairs".

"Have you been watching too many soap operas lately? Or were you born without a soul, like I'm willing to bet on is the case?"

"Let's talk about you directly, then and how being my boy-toy for the next couple of months would be beneficial to you. Let's be honest, Pacey, for as cute as you are, you don't have close to the intelligence to go to college. It's guys like you, who wind up doing the untrained jobs for the companies, that we own. When high school comes to an end, you'll have to find yourself a career around here and should I feel like it, I could be very helpful in that regard. It's all up you" she whispered, with her mouth only a few inches away from his own, as he stood there unable to move and not knowing how to react to being wanted in this way by a girl, who wasn't his current and so far, only ever, girlfriend.

"You can have a day or two to think about it, but don't take too long. I'm a lot of things but known for my patience isn't one of them" she told him on her way out of the door, leaving him there with both an unwanted quarter-boner and worse yet, the kind of dilemma, that you usually only heard about happening in movies, books or TV series.

Afterwards, he found it impossible to do any more studying that evening.

The weather on his bike ride to school the day after fitted perfectly with his mood, in that it was all grey skies with a slight drizzle, that was just enough of an annoyance to bring his mental state to a near rock bottom, by the time he arrived at the high school for the eight hours of mostly boredom that awaited him there.

He knew that Hannah was probably right in saying, that he wouldn't be going to college and while he didn't exactly trust her to keep up her end of the deal, should he falter to her demands, there was no doubt that if she was telling the truth, it would mean that he'd never have any trouble finding work in Capeside again. As it stood now and with his dad not exactly being the most popular among the businesses in town (thanks to him having busted several of them over the years, either for doing some "creative book-keeping" or as it was in most cases, having illegal immigrants without green cards working for them), it wasn't like any of them would be lining up to give him a chance. Doug was lucky that he had a job for life with the Police force to help him pay the bills, or he'd probably have trouble finding work here too, in spite of never having broken the rules a single time in his entire life. Considering Pacey's own past of usually doing the opposite of what Doug would have done in any given scenario, what chance did he have of ever becoming anything more in Capeside than an afterthought, who worked his ass off for minimum wage and would always have the knowledge, that if he got fired, finding a new job would be harder than finding a needle in a haystack? There was the option of him moving away to perhaps Boston, or one of the other bigger cities in the upper North-Western corner of the US after school ended, and which choices Joey made would no doubt end up effecting his own as well. The last thing he wanted to be though, was a ball and chain to her and in the worst-case scenario, drag her down to the level that he was sure to end up at.

The school day had more or less gone by in a haze and most of, if not all of the conversations he'd had with his friends, had gone right in through one ear and out of the other. What he'd felt like most of all after it was done, was to go home and catch up on a few hours of the sleep, he'd lost out on the night before, with Hannah's indecent proposal clogging his mind up too much for him to find much in the way of rest. He had a study session with Andie set up however and knowing that she wasn't one to take no for an answer and that he needed her tutoring badly, if he wasn't going to be a sophomore again after the summer vacation was over, made him decide to bite the proverbial bullet and try to make the most of it.

"So, have you thought about who you're taking to the dance next week?" Andie asked casually, while they were getting their books out. She'd chosen a small, relatively newly opened cafe just down the street from the school for their study session, and clearly wasn't the only tutor from their school, who'd gotten that same idea. The owner didn't seem to mind one bit having his cafe overrun with a bunch of teenagers however, and while this new-found clientele of his were a bunch of light tippers, the service they got there was still more than enough to satisfy them, and one presented with a wide smile.

"I still don't know if I'm going or not. I mean, who would I even go there with? Jen is going to it with your brother, Dawson and Mary-Beth will surely be so wrapped up in one another, that he won't have time to talk all evening. Anyway, someone has to be there to work at the video store and if Jen and Dawson are both going, that only leaves little old me to take up the reigns in their stead".

"All I'm hearing is excuses!" Andie teasingly chirped back and sent him an adorable smile, that he couldn't help himself from returning in kind. If Hannah was the spawn of Satan himself, then Andie was without a doubt his guardian angel, who was sent there to protect him from girls like the future heir to the Von Wenning family fortune. If there hadn't been a girl on the other side of the world in their way, he would have asked that rather frail looking blonde cutie out long ago and if things had gone, like he suspected they would have, they'd probably be almost as in love with one another by now, as he was with the girl that he wanted to be with more than anything, only he wouldn't be able to for a long time to come yet.

"So, did Ty ask you to be his date for this upcoming display of teenage hormones, when it's at its absolute worst?" he asked her and the shy smile on her face told him that even if Ty hadn't done so, it wasn't because he'd gotten the feeling, that Andie didn't want him to.

"He has a family thing that weekend, so he can't go".

"You have my sympathies, McPhee! I wouldn't worry too much over it though, if I were you. I'm sure that church-boy will eventually fall for your undeniable charms, if he hasn't already" he told her, without considering how a compliment like that might have sounded to her ears.

"I have "Undeniable Charms"? You're the first guy to think so!" she replied through a smile that couldn't hide how flattered she was, that he'd said such a nice thing to her.

"I'm sure that plenty of others have too, they just didn't tell you or you didn't pick up on it. Listen, Andie. If Ty can't see that he's got the chance to haul in the biggest catch of the female variety around here, that's available to him, then he isn't worth wasting your time on".

"In case you hadn't noticed, Pacey, it isn't like the boys have exactly been flocking towards me, since I got here! I guess, I just don't have whatever it is that the boys here are looking for in a girlfriend!"

"And what do you think that is?" he couldn't help himself from asking, even if it was a little underhanded of him to put her on the spot like this.

"I don't know! Cleavage? I can't come up with any other department, that I'm lacking in!" she joked and for the first time all day, he let out an honest and heartfelt laugh.

"Andie, I know that you're very inexperienced, when it comes to boys, so let me explain something to you for once, instead of it always being you who teaches me stuff. If a guy is only into you, because he likes your rack, all he's going to care about is getting you in bed with him and girls like you, Jen, Joey and all of the other true catches among that strange species known as teenage girls, deserve so much more than that! It's also why it's so frustrating to see you make the wrong choices so often, but what can you do? They are still your choices to make, even if I don't happen to agree with them all of the time" he explained to her, just before a fleeting idea entered his mind.

"You are hopefully aware that girls aren't a species onto our own, Pacey? Because if you aren't, then we really need to get cracking on those biology textbooks!" she joked back, although he could easily see that what he'd said meant a lot more for her to hear, than it had meant for him to say it.

"I'm not that much of a hopeless case, I assure you! Here's an idea: Why don't we go to the dance together as friends? We'll dance a little, have some punch and after we're done dancing, we can make fun of all of those hopeless dancers, of which there's bound to be many more, than you've seen in your life at the same time ever before! Believe me, the standard for what they call dancing here is extremely low! What do you think?" he asked her and the wide ear-to-ear smile and small nod that he got from her told him that he'd at least done something worthwhile that day.

"Pacey, Pacey, Pacey! You really haven't learned the first thing about us girls yet, have you?" Jen scolded him, while they were helping one another with putting the multitude of returns away, that they'd gotten in at Screen Time, over an incredibly short amount of time.

"What did I do now?" he had to ask, since he truthfully had no idea!

"Andie has had a crush on you, practically since she moved here! It isn't hard to see why, with how nice you've been to her and Jack, but how could you not have seen it?" she asked and as if by reflex, he started shaking his head.

"Lindley, I know that your highly well-developed radar when it comes to those things is usually right on the money, but it isn't me that she has her eyes on. It's that Ty guy, although I have no clue what she sees in him. I wouldn't have asked her otherwise!"

"Pacey, try putting yourself in Andie's very small shoes. She can't just tell you that she likes you, so of course she'll make up some crush on some other guy, so you won't suspect it! Playing these games is a very teenage girl thing to do, in case you didn't know!"

This was just what he needed, another girl who wanted to get it on with him! Why couldn't this have happened half a year earlier, before he'd hooked up with Joey and still felt hopelessly single?

"Is this a pheromone thing, that girls are suddenly into me, now that they know that they can't have me? It can't just be that they all want what they can't have!"

"Who's the other girl? You said "Girls"?"

"I meant ... girls in general" he replied quickly, thinking on his feet, the best he could.

"It's Hannah, isn't it? Let me venture a wild guess here, she made a pass at you and wasn't apologetic over it in the slightest?" Jen asked him and once again, he had to be thoroughly impressed with the sixth sense, that girl had been born with!

"How did you ..."

"I knew far more than my share of Hannah's back home in New York! Stuck up, completely spoiled rotten girls, who have never heard the word "no" being said to them before and because of that, they wind up thinking that there isn't anything, they can't have! To know that I was one step away from becoming one of them is enough to send shivers down my spine! The sad part is that they usually get what they want and here I am, almost four months past my last date and I've been crushing on a guy for weeks on end, who still hasn't shown the slightest interest in getting anything on with me! Sorry, that last part was just me letting out some of my own teenage frustrations!"

"You're entitled to them, all things considered! And yes, you're right. Hannah made a pass at me, but I also gave her a hard pass back!" he told Jen, more or less truthfully.

"Good for you, Pacey! What you have with Joey is way too important to throw away over some fling with a girl, who we both know will use you up and spit you out!"

"I couldn't agree with you more" he answered and thanks to their little conversation, his mind was finally made up on what to do about his "Hannah Situation".

Turning Hannah down had turned out to be relatively easy and he'd done so the day after at school, where he'd left a note in her locker, telling her to meet him in the gym during the lunch break. She didn't seem to him like she cared a whole lot one way or the other, although she did warn him on her way out, that whatever happened from now on, would be all on him.

An ominous warning for sure, but at least she was out of his hair for now!

... I just want to be open to you about these things, Honey. Trust me, there's no need for you to start sharpening your fighting skills over there in France, in anticipation for a fight with Hannah that won't ever happen. With any luck, she'll be far away at some private school by the time you get back and she won't even have been a blip on our radar!

I love you so much and I can't wait to see you again!

Pacey.

Sent: February 13th, 1999

From: A Girl Named Joey

To: That Witter Guy

Subject: I'm sorry!

Hi, Pacey. I'm so sorry if my last e-mail made it sound like I doubted for a second, that you would stay faithful to me! Of course, I trust you indefinitely and I hope that you feel the same way, when it comes to me! I can't wait to hold you again and for us to be in our birthday suits together again! At least once a day, I find myself thinking back to those evenings that we had together in the storeroom and when I do, it fills me with a warm feeling inside to know that the days are counting down rapidly to when we'll get to do those (pleasurable) things to each other again.

I love you so much, that I can't put it into words!

Joey.

END OF CHAPTER THIRTY-ONE

Chapter Text

"I've been holding out so long

I've been sleeping all alone

Lord, I miss you"

ROLLING STONES (From the album "Some Girls" (1978))

Sent: February 17th, 1999

From: A Girl Named Joey

To: Mighty Miss Morgan

Subject: Bessie's B-Day present.

Hi, Abby. I just wanted to let you know that I'll be sending Bessie's birthday present to you guys in a few days, when I'll have it picked out. Can you and Bodie make sure that she doesn't know I sent her one, until it's time for her to receive it?

Don't tell anyone (least of all Bessie!), but some days I just miss being home with you, Bessie, Bodie and Alexander so much, that it's hard to get through. Maybe it's because you feel so far away from where I am, I'm not sure. Anyways, say hi to everyone in the house for me and make sure to help out, whenever you can. I know that you're probably busy with your new girlfriend and the campaign for student body president, but I'm sure that Bessie can still use your help a lot.

Have fun back there in Capeside!

Joey.

Sent: February 18th, 1999

From: Mighty Miss Morgan

To: A Girl Named Joey

Subject: re: Bessie's B-Day Present.

Hi, Joey. Can you believe that this is the first time, I'm trying my luck at this e-mail thing? I have to admit that it's a lot smarter and faster than sending a letter, so who knows? Maybe in ten or twenty years or so, we won't have any postal delivery service left! Isn't that a weird thought, if there ever was one?

Sure thing, I'll help you with hiding Bessie's present from her, until it's time for her actual birthday. She says that she doesn't want us to make a big deal over it, but I can tell that she doesn't really mean it, when she says that. Now that I've lived here for a few months, I've also begun to be able to read her a lot easier than I could at first and it feels like I'm really connecting with both her and Bodie much better, than I've ever done with my own parents. Kind of funny how things turn out that way sometimes, huh?

And if you think that you 're the only one, who desperately misses having her sister around, I can tell you that you couldn't possibly be more wrong! She doesn't say it out loud (you know how Bessie is with grand showings of emotion), but it's pretty easy to tell that she misses the heck out of you! I do too sometimes, but it looks like she's having a harder time with it than any of us, even Pacey, who looked more like a hung cat, than his usual self, for those first few weeks after you'd left!

Have fun yourself and eat some croissants on my behalf!

Abby.

Loneliness. It was a feeling that Joey had never been familiar with back in Capeside, where she'd always have someone around to talk to and even if she didn't, then she could quickly find someone to spend some time with. With all of the new friends (both of them) that she'd made since her sophomore year began, she'd never considered that it could happen to her. This was also why she'd lied in most of her e-mails with her friends and family (if you count the one e-mail that Bodie had replied to), because she didn't want them to worry about her and thinking that she wished that she'd stayed put, where she was. Something, that it was becoming harder by the day for her to deny.

One thing was that she missed her friends and family. That part, she'd been more or less prepared for beforehand and compared to how bad it had been in her worst imagination, it hadn't been entirely as bad, as she'd imagined that it would be. Knowing that it wouldn't be long until she saw them again helped a lot to know, and that old saying that distance only made the heart grow fonder, definitely rang true when it came to herself and Pacey. What she'd come to find out though, was that what she missed almost as much was being there in the thick of things, where she could influence the actions of her friends and hopefully, help to steer them in the direction, that she felt like it was right for them to take. It wasn't a part of her that she'd ever had to address before, but now that she was being forced to, it was also as undeniable as death, taxes and that she hadn't had much luck in making friends in Toulouse. So far, she'd only managed to make one true one, that being the British girl, Emma. However, Emma had found herself a boyfriend in Phillipe, a boy who clearly shared Emma's slightly out there style in fashion and music, leaving herself to be alone much of the time.

"Hi, Zizou. Did you come in here to keep me company?" she asked the resident cat at their house and the one, she guessed would be missing her the most, after she'd gone home to the US again. She got along fine with her host parents, it wasn't like that, and they were nice people for sure, there was just the matter of a small cultural barrier between them, that it wasn't so easy to make go away. A few days before this, they'd had Escargots for dinner and let's just say that eating those snails (that basically just tasted like garlic and nothing else) hadn't exactly been to the taste of her very American tastebuds. She'd had to fight hard not to start gagging, whenever she'd swallowed one of those slimy little things and it wasn't an experience, she ever wanted to try again.

Zizou (named after the nickname for the French soccer star Zinedine Zidane, like she guessed that many pets around all of France had been, after he'd helped Les Bleus (as they call their national team) to winning the world cup the year before. Plus, you had to admit that it was a pretty cute name for a cat!), jumped up on her bed and like the naughty kitty that he was, proceeded to step all over her schoolbooks like he couldn't care less that it had to be annoying for her, before getting cozy pressed as tightly up against her leg, as he could. As it always was when it came to the two of them, she couldn't help herself from nuzzling his neck and the loud purring she heard from him, told her that at least someone was ecstatic to have her there, even if no one of the human variety seemed to be.

One thing that she did have going for her though, was that it would officially become Friday in a few hours from then and she had what should become a fun weekend ahead of her. With Phillipe being just as perpetually broke as her own boyfriend back home always seemed to be, he couldn't afford to come with herself and Emma to Paris on what Joey hoped would become one of the highlights of her stay in the nation, that had almost taken on mythical proportions to her, prior to her coming there and finding out for herself what life and the people there were like.

Now that she had, she couldn't pretend that either of them had been a huge hit with her.

Meanwhile, back in Joey's hometown, Dawson was growing ever more frustrated at his lack of ability to come up with a screenplay, that was worth throwing the five thousand after, he'd won in that junior filmmaker's contest. By this point, he figured that he had to have gone through at least a hundred different ideas for its plot in his head and although, a few of them had seemed like they would have been both filmable and could end up being decent, what he wanted to make was a movie that spoke to an entire generation and if that was his goal, then decent just wasn't going to cut it.

The main problem, it seemed to him, was that every good to great idea for a small budget movie had already been done, with there also being plenty of not-so-great copycat movies of those good movies to boot. If all he was going to make was a copy of a better movie, then what would be the point of it?

He'd gone to pretty much every available source to him for inspiration, most of them more than once, and was getting the feeling that his friends were getting tired of him sounding like a broken record, who either turned the conversation to talking about his girlfriend or his unmade movie, as if by natural reflex. Pacey had already made it clear that he couldn't take listening to more than five minutes of it per day, which made Jen the most obvious victim, he had to pick the brains of. He got that chance on a rather dead dayshift at Screen Time, that he knew Jen had only said yes to, so that she could go to the movies with Abby and Melissa that evening.

"You have a whole store full of sources of inspiration here, Dawson! It can't be that hard to come up with an idea, that'll work for you!" Jen stated to him, hinting in no small way that she was also starting to reach her limit, as far as how much talk about his movie, she could handle!

"All of these were made on a budget; I could only dream of having! Give me a check for a million dollars and I'm sure that I could come up with something usable, but only having five grand severely limits what I can do" he explained to her. Just the new equipment that he'd have to buy would alone take up at least a quarter of his budget, leaving him without much leeway when it came to who he could hire and which locations he could afford to film at.

"You know, you could see if you could find an investor?" Jen suggested and it wasn't as if he hadn't given it some thought.

"The flipside of that is that any investor will want a say in how the movie turns out. If I could find one, who'll just hand me a check or a wad of cash and tell me that I could do with it what I wanted, that would be ideal, they just don't hang on trees around here. Not that I'm kidding myself into thinking that they exist anywhere, but if they do, it sure isn't here in Capeside!"

"It isn't like this town is short on those, who have more money, than they know what to do with! It can't hurt to test the waters a little, can it?"

"I guess not, but how would you suggest that I go about it? I've never actually tried anything like this before, remember?" he reminded Jen, who took a few moments to think it over.

"You could try something as simple as taking an ad out in the school paper. Considering that their last cover story was the librarian's ten-year anniversary working there, I bet they'll let you do it for free, if you ask them nicely and you perhaps give them an interview about your plans for the movie. Don't forget that there are plenty of kids of those with deep pockets, who go to the same school as us" Jen threw out there and he figured to himself, why not?

It wasn't as if he had anything to lose by trying it.

After they'd graciously been allowed by both of their host families to leave school at lunch, Joey and Emma had made their way down to the Toulouse-Matabiau station by bus, where the TGV train that would take them to Paris, was scheduled to arrive shortly after one o'clock. Usually, a train ride wouldn't be enough to get Joey excited, but knowing that they'd be travelling at over three hundred miles an hour, through a scenery that she would probably once get to see twice, if you included the ride home that following Sunday, made it a many times more interesting prospect than travelling by train back home, where she'd already seen everything there was to see dozens of times before.

Having an almost overly giddy Emma with her didn't hurt either. For as different as they were and how differently they'd been brought up in two widely different countries in many ways, she wasn't afraid to admit that her time in France wouldn't have been anywhere close to the same, if she hadn't made friends with that quirky English girl on one of her first days there.

"Did you do much travelling with your family growing up?" Emma asked her, while they were looking over a rack of magazines for some entertainment on the two-hour plus train ride to one of the most famous cities in the world.

"Not as much, as I would have liked. When the entire existence of your family is built around a restaurant, going away on holiday in the summer is a luxury, you can't afford. I used to dread the first day of school after the summer vacation ended, because it felt to me like everyone else would have all of these amazing stories of places, they'd visited, and strangers they'd met and become friends with, and I'd never have any interesting stories to tell them".

"You still had fun with your friends, didn't you?" Emma asked, while her eyes settled on some music magazine with a bunch of very tattooed and long-haired guys on the cover, that looked interesting to her hard-rock loving self.

"Not as much as you'd think. These past years, Dawson has spent most of his summer visiting his aunt in Philadelphia, leaving me with no one else except for Pacey".

"That still sounds like it could be a lot worse!" Emma smilingly said, before giving Joey a wink that made Joey roll her eyes.

"I'm talking about me and Pacey before we became couple, when we were getting on one another's nerves most of the time! Maybe that's why I'm so close with my family, because they were the only ones, who were always there for me, no matter what. Until my dad went to jail, at least. What about you? Did you and your family do much travelling?"

"My dad would drag all three of us around the country in a rented RV for two weeks every summer. Even if my mom tried to air it out and spray dozens of cans of air freshener in there, it would still end up stinking so badly at the end of those two weeks, that none of us missed getting back into it for months afterwards! My older brother and I would quickly begin to get on one another's nerves, as you like to put it, and after a few days of him and me being forced to be together almost all of the time, our parents would constantly have to scold us and explain to us why we had to learn to get along. I couldn't in my wildest dreams have imagined back then, that I'd ever miss them all as much as I do now!" Emma told her truthfully, making her nod along in agreement.

"You too, huh?"

"Joey, we're a pair of fifteen-year-old's, who are both away from home for an extended period, for the first time in our lives. In other words, I'm pretty sure, it's only natural!" Emma reassured her and it felt nice to know that she was with someone, who was going through at least a little of the same, as she was.

Eventually, she made the choice to buy a copy of Time Magazine, seeing as it was the only magazine from home, that they had for sale there, while Emma settled on buying a copy of "Kerrang". Shortly after they'd finished reading their magazines, the two girls arrived at the Gare du Lyon train station and their weekend in Paris had officially begun.

Dawson had set to work practically from the moment he'd arrived at school, with setting Jen's loose plan to find an investor in motion. He had sort of an in with the school paper, since he had media class with a few of those students, who worked on the paper that most of the students only gave a slight glance, before throwing it into the recycling bins that they had for that specific purpose. On the rare occasion, they'd have an interesting story to report on, but since everything had to be filtered through a principal, who didn't want anything the slightest bit controversial to be printed in the paper, it would nine out of ten times end up being a boring read either way. As it turned out, all he'd had to do was hand in what he wanted to be written and they promised that they'd print it in the next issue.

He hadn't imagined that he wouldn't have to wait longer than until study hall a few periods later, before a possible investor presented themselves. He couldn't ever have imagined who it would be, either.

"I hear that you're looking for someone to invest in a movie, you're making. Tell me about it" Hannah whispered to him, moments after having taken a seat across from him.

"Rumors travel fast around here!" he told her back, without wanting to seem too interested in what she had to say. Especially not after Pacey had told him about the unwanted experiences, he'd recently had with her. Not that it seemed to deter her much.

"Look, I'll be blunt, Dawson. I need some way of getting back on my parent's good graces and me doing something like taking advantage of a promising investment opportunity is something, they can wrap their rich, thick-skulled heads around. Even if your movie doesn't make a dime and no offense, Spielberg Junior, but I'm guessing that this one won't make close to its budget back, it'll still show them that I'm not as much of a lost cause, as they think I am right now. What's you budget as of this moment?" she asked and while he didn't want to trust her, what she'd just said made perfect sense to him and her cover story (if that was what it was) seemed perfectly plausible enough.

"Five thousand, but I have to spend at least fifteen hundred out of that on film and new equipment".

"Come to my house tonight and we'll talk about doubling that figure. See you later, Dawson" she told him, before leaving him there with his thoughts and a Geography book, the contents of which kept going in one ear and out of the other for him.

After they'd settled into the hostel, they would be staying at for the next few days, they spent a few hours just walking around the area that they were temporarily housed in, both to take in the scenery and familiarize themselves a little with it. Afterwards, they started looking for a place to eat dinner, so they took a metro train downtown, where they also figured that most of the best of the affordable restaurants would be located. Since both of them were on a rather tight budget, this eliminated all of the fancier ones, but it still left them with hundreds of times more eating options, than she would have had back in Capeside. Based entirely on Emma's gut feeling, they eventually agreed to try out one of the smaller French ones, that while it was small, also scored very highly on the cozy scale.

"I see that they have your favorite dish!" Emma quipped, while pointing to the Escargots on the menu.

"Don't remind me! I'm still trying to suppress the memory of eating something, that I'd before then never imagined putting in my mouth to begin with!"

"Or as we call it back in "Old Blighty": Scottish cooking!" Emma had just joked, when one of the waiters came over to them with a wide smile on his face.

"Emma, is that you? I haven't seen you in ..." the waiter began to say, before Emma interrupted him.

"Almost a year. Hi, Trevor. I heard a rumor from my brother, that you were working here. Joey, this is Trevor, my older brother's best friend and the guy, who was my first boyfriend. Trevor, this is Joey, the sister I never knew that I had from America" Emma introduced them and Joey could see right away, what would have attracted Emma to him. She'd seen some hot guys over there, but he still had to be in her top ten, if not in her top five.

"Do you live here now?" Trevor asked and for a few moments, Joey felt like the fifth wheel among them.

"I'm an exchange student in Toulouse. That's how I met Joey here" Emma explained and Trevor smiled shyly at Joey, who responded in kind.

"Is she still a pain in the arse most of the time?" Trevor asked her jokingly and she had to let out a small giggle.

"Only ninety-nine percent of the time! Then again, I can't help myself from loving her for some reason!" Joey quipped, getting an agreeing smile out of Trevor.

"She has that effect on you, doesn't she? I'll get you two a pair of menus" he told them, before getting back to his work.

"So, this was why you were so Gung Ho on us going in here! You could have just said that it was because your ex-boyfriend works here" Joey asked Emma with a smile, just from how nice she could see that it had been for Emma to have seen him again.

"I didn't know for sure, so I didn't want you feel like I'd dragged you in here for no reason. Anyway, we'll need a guide with some local knowledge to show us the other side of the city, don't you agree?"

"What other side?" she asked, immediately dreading a little what the answer would be.

"The really fun side! Joey, you and I are going to have a weekend together, that none of us will ever forget!" Emma told her with a wide smile, that was equivalent to the knot growing constantly in size, inside of Joey's stomach.

"You do know that you'll be making a deal with the devil, don't you?" Pacey half-jokingly told him, just before he was on his way out of the door, to make his way to the Von Wenning mansion, that he'd previously only seen from the outside.

"All I'm heading over there to do is to hear her out. Nothing else!"

"I'm just saying that the girl has a tendency to get what she wants! If I hadn't had Joey on my conscience, I'd most likely be caught in her web by now, with no pleasant way out of it again! Be wary of her feminine charms and tricks, is all that I'm saying".

"You don't have anything to worry about and neither does Mary-Beth. I already have everything I could want it a girlfriend, so why would I go out on the lookout for another one?"

"Do you know what that unmistakably sounds like?"

"Humor me, Pacey! What did it sound like?"

"Famous last words! Please, feel free to correct me if I'm way off here, but Mary-Beth and you still haven't done the deed, have you? Or for that matter, come anywhere close to it?" Pacey asked him, unknowingly hitting a soft spot with him. He loved Mary-Beth for sure, but he was also as curious about sex as any other fifteen-year-old virgin is, and he had to admit that after all of those months of first courting her and then dating her, still only to have gotten halfway to second base one time felt like very little reward for all of the work, he'd been putting in with her.

"I'm not the kind of guy, who cheats on my girlfriend and that's the end of it, Pacey! Have a nice shift!" he told Pacey off on his way out of the door and in the process, nearly bumped into a pair of customers, who were coming in, just as he was coming out.

His dad was working that evening, and he knew that asking his mom for a ride would have led to a whole bunch of questions, that he didn't feel much like answering, so he took a cab over there, getting dropped off right outside the enormous mansion, that had to be at least five times larger than the house, he'd lived for his entire life in. It was well lit up out front, but it struck him why there wouldn't be any fancy cars parked outside or any sign of life going on inside. Before ringing the doorbell, he took a deep breath and had to wait for almost half a minute, until someone opened the door. It turned out to be Hannah, who had clearly dolled herself up a whole lot more, than her rather innocent invitation had suggested. It also made him feel a little foolish for turning up there in a pair of well-worn jeans, sneakers that were probably ripe to be thrown out and one of his work-shirts hiding underneath his two-year-old winter coat, that was beginning to show signs of it's age.

"I'm glad that you decided to take me up on my invitation. Come in" she flirtingly told him, as she held the door open for him.

"My parents making an appearance at some big anniversary for something, that I can't remember what is, probably because I didn't care all that much and it's our butler's night off. Between you and me, I'm pretty sure that he's out on a date with the housekeeper from one of the houses down the street!" she continued playfully and for as little as he wanted to, he couldn't deny that she had a very pretty smile, when it wasn't hidden beneath several layers of sarcasm, over how little she thought of Capeside as a whole.

"How nice for him! And her, of course!" he stumblingly got out, drawing a small giggle from her.

"Am I making you nervous, Dawson?" she asked him, before sending him what he had to imagine was her best version of bedroom eyes.

"Kind of. I mean, I wasn't expecting this!"

"What were you expecting?"

"I don't know, but it wasn't this! I thought, you'd only invited me here to talk about you investing in my movie and here, you are and ..."

"I've thought it over since our little talk in study hall and here is my proposal for you: I'll buy fifty percent of the rights to whatever profit there might be on your movie for five thousand dollars. I have far more than that in my bank account, so I can get it for you by Monday. I'm not going to ask for any kind of involvement in what the movie will be about, but I will retain a right to veto any decision of yours, if I really don't agree with you. I also want a role in the movie. It doesn't have to be one of the major roles, but it still has to be one with a nice handful of good lines to it. Do we have a deal?"

On one hand, he didn't want to make a deal with anyone, who would take any decisive power away from himself, but on the other, how many movies were in reality made without someone fronting at least part of the funding for it? It wasn't like this made him different from nearly all of the other independent filmmakers out there.

"I accept, with one exception: You don't get to veto anything, but I will agree to take any criticism you have very seriously, every time. Deal?" he asked, hoping that she would say yes with every fiber of his body.

"No deal! You can't just take one thing out the deal, without replacing it with something else! This is a business discussion and if you're not ready to bend a little here, I don't see how we can start off a partnership this way".

"A partnership?" he had to ask, since he up to this point hadn't thought of it as anything more, than her offering him a nice, fat check.

"If this is successful, who's to say that we can't try to replicate the success with your next movie or the next one after that?" she smilingly asked him and just the thought of what having a financial backer like the Von Wenning family would do for him, was enough to send fleeting thoughts of himself thanking the academy racing through his head.

"I don't know what else, I can offer you. I can give you any job that you want on the movie, but apart from that ..."

"I'm guessing that Pacey has already told you in great detail about what happened between us, so I won't try to BS you into thinking that you're my first choice, but I want you, Dawson. Not for all that long, it goes without saying, just for the duration that we are working together. Mary-Beth will never have to know, unless you decide to tell her" Hannah, in a way that reminded him (more than he wanted it to) of the snake in the garden of Eden, told him, just as she began wrapping her arms around his waist and pressing her soft and warm bosom tightly up against his chest.

Part of him wanted to run. Another, almost as big part of him, wanted to do the complete opposite.

END OF CHAPTER THIRTY-TWO

Chapter Text

"If I'm with friends and we should meet

Just pass me by, don't even speak

Know the word's discreet with part-time lovers"

STEVIE WONDER (From the album "In Square Circle" (1985))

Sent: February 20th, 1999

From: Spielberg's Disciple

To: A Girl Named Joey

Subject: Paris

Hi, Joey. I just wanted to hear if Paris lived up to your expectations for it and if you a great weekend there.

Dawson.

Sent: February 20th, 1999

From A Girl Named Joey

To: Spielberg's Disciple

Subject: re: Paris

Paris definitely lived up to my expectations, but so much happened that it would take forever to write about it here. You'll just have to wait like everyone else back home to be told about it, until I'll be there to do it in person! I just wish that we (myself and Emma) would have had more than two days there, so I guess, I'll have to make another visit to it sometime in the future. With some of my friends from Capeside travelling with me, perhaps?

I don't have much time to write right now (I'm writing on a school PC and our next class begins soon), but make sure to say hi to your parents for me. How was your weekend, by the way?

Your friend

Joey

Sent: February 20th, 1999

From: Spielberg's Disciple

To: A Girl Named Joey

Subject: This past weekend

Oh, you know, just the same old, same old. It isn't like anything changes from day to day here, let alone to someone, who's become as set in his ways, as I have. I might have found an investor in my movie, so that's something. My parents wanted me to say hi back to you.

Take care.

Dawson

Dawson had told himself over and over again that what he was doing was wrong, that evening in the Von Wenning mansion, when he had to admit that he'd fallen like a complete fool for Hannah's very effective ways at seducing him. Thinking back on it the morning after while he was eating breakfast with his parents, he could now see clearly that they hadn't been playing on a even playing field and that whatever little experience in the ways of seduction he had, paled in comparison to a girl like her, who'd played him like an all too voluntary fiddle and whom he could swear, was getting off a whole lot more on the power it made her hold over him, than the almost animalistic kisses, they'd shared. He knew that he should have listened to Pacey, when he'd told him to be wary of Hannah's charms, but thanks himself thinking that he knew better than Pacey (because he usually did), this was the result of it. He also knew what he would have to do and he wasn't looking forward to it in the slightest, but he couldn't bring himself to lie to Mary-Beth about it either. If she dumped him, then it would be what he deserved and he could accept that. Now that he'd done the crime, he would also have to take his punishment, or try to live on a lie for the time being. Neither of which were pleasurable prospects.

"So, what are your plans for today?" his mom asked him, sending his racing back to reality again.

"Pacey and I have been talking about taking his boat out for a small trip on the creek" he quickly answered, only just then remembering what he'd agreed to with his oldest buddy.

"Don't you think you think it's a little cold for that?" his dad had to ask, and it wasn't like he wasn't making a good point. With how low the temperatures had been dropping to lately, anyone would have to be either crazy or a fool to spend more time outside, than they had to.

"There still isn't any ice on the lake. Anyway, aren't you two the ones who are always telling me, that it would hurt me to go outside a little more and not spend so much time cooped up in my room?"

"Just make sure that you dress warm, Honey and put on two pairs of socks! In these temperatures ..."

"I could lose a toe to frostbite. So, you keep warning me, mom!" he bit her off, being that he was getting a little tired of hearing her warnings about things, that he'd never actually heard about happening anywhere around where they lived.

"What about your movie? Weren't you planning on doing some work on that this weekend?" his dad innocently asked.

"You could say that I already have" he told them, only in the vaguest manner possible hinting at what had actually happened.

Dawson and Pacey's boat trip out on the lake ended up being a very short one, until both of them had to agree that it was simply too cold to spend more time outside, than they absolutely had to. After they'd brought the boat back to its winter residence in Pacey's mom's garage, they decided to instead go and get some lunch at the Ice House. Even before they walked inside, it was easily visible that the restaurant's usual Saturday lunch rush had also been hampered by the freezing temperatures, which no doubt was keeping the large majority of Capeside's population in the comfort of their own warm homes for the better part of the day, if not all of it.

Stepping through the door, they were greeted by a smug smile from Abby, who was carrying a tray of dirty dishes back to the kitchen.

"You finally came to your senses, I see?" she slightly smugly asked them in passing, before continuing on with her job at hand.

There wasn't a shortage of available tables, so they sat down at what was their usual table (if you could say that they had one) by the window, where they could keep an eye on what was going on outside, while they enjoyed some of Bodie's fine cooking and took in the welcoming atmosphere in there, that Bessie had become such a master at cultivating over the years. Much like how Bessie's parents had built the place up on the same values, it should be said.

They were looking over the menus and he was having trouble choosing whether he should get a cup of chowder for an entrée, or it would ruin his appetite for his main course too much, when Pacey noted something outside that made him put his menu down and pay attention to it.

"There's a limo pulling up outside" Pacey noted and it made Dawson turn his head to look at it, since even though there were plenty of wealthy people in the richer parts of Capeside (located just across the creek from the poorer parts of it, like the parts that Joey and Pacey lived in), it wasn't like you saw limousines on the street all that often, if it wasn't the evening of the senior prom. Especially not on a day, when the streets were all but deserted otherwise. His heart skipped a beat, when he saw who the first one was to step out of it, soon to be followed by her parents, or as some of the not so well off of the locals darkly humoredly called them: "The King and Queen of Capeside".

"If it isn't the devil in disguise herself! Huh, Dawson?" Pacey nodded at him and immediately, Dawson started feeling uncomfortable and strangely enough, also kind of sweaty.

"Isn't that the truth?" he asked Pacey back, not really wanting to get further into discussing the topic of Hannah Von Wenning, any more than he had to.

"Did she try to come on to you yesterday?" Pacey asked him. He was only half listening though, seeing as his eyes were too busy following Hannah on her way up to the door.

"If she did, then I didn't pick up on it. It was all business talk. You'd find it boring as sin, to hear about" he lied to Pacey, who looked like he bought it.

His and Pacey's lunch had gone more or less without incident, save for himself and Hannah a few times sharing eye contact and small, knowing smile. She was a bad girl for sure, the kind of which he'd a few times advised Pacey not to get involved with, but man, was she sexy and the way she made him feel wanted in a sexual way for the first time (like Mary-Beth had never been able to), was enough to send erotic thoughts into his head of things, he possibly could do with and to that girl. Part of it was filled with regret of what he would have to do, when he'd need to break up with Mary-Beth and how he'd spin it with his parents was a bridge, he'd have to cross when he got there.

But, if there had always been one kind of character in movies that he could remember hating for as far back, as he possibly could, it was the guy or girl, who cheated on their "special someone" and was entirely unapologetic over it. Mary-Beth would become angry with him, that much he was sure of and there would probably be a while afterwards, where she wouldn't want to talk to him. In time though, he hoped that they could become friends again, when she'd cooled off and realized that he was also the best friend that she had in town, who wasn't either of her parents.

They were just about to leave, when Pacey excused himself to go and take a leak. While he was sitting there and waiting, Abby came over to him holding a folded napkin.

"Hannah, in a private moment away from her parents, I might add, offered me twenty dollars to give you this and not ask any questions. Since we both know that won't happen, is there something going on between you and her, that your girlfriend should know about?" Abby asked and something in the way she'd accusingly asked him, made him want to get on the defensive.

"She's considering investing in my movie. That's all that's going on between us. Perhaps, she doesn't want her parents to know about it yet, before it's been made official, have you considered that for a second, "Miss Always Sticks Her Nose, where it Doesn't Belong"?" he grumpily asked Abby back, and it looked like she conceded that there was a good chance that he wasn't lying about it.

"Okay, I'll buy whatever it is, you're selling! What did she write on the napkin?" Abby curiously asked him.

"Have you ever heard of this thing called privacy, Abby? It involves you not having to be told everything, when it wasn't any of your business to begin with!" he sharply told Abby off. Before she could offer a rebuttal, a pair customers called for her and she had to go and serve them.

Unfolding the napkin, he had no idea what to expect. All it had written on it was an address, that wasn't all that far from where he lived and an exact time: "Seven o'clock, sharp!"

He'd spent the entire afternoon just hanging out with Pacey in his own room, until it became close to dinner time and with that, time for Pacey to get home to the mountain of (in many cases far back-dated) homework, that he'd been slacking off from doing, since school had ended the day before. On top of that, Pacey's brother Doug was coming over to their house for dinner that evening and both himself and Pacey knew well enough, that it wouldn't have been in good taste for Pacey to blow them off for dinner with Dawson and his parents. This gave him just enough time to grab a shower before dinner and to pick out his clothes for his date, or whatever it was going to be, with his secret non-girlfriend that evening.

With Mary-Beth having her favorite Aunt and Uncle visiting her and her family for a few days and her wanting to spend as much time with them as possible, it also gave him an open playing field to do whatever he wanted to with that cunning minx, who in the temptation department was everything that Mary-Beth wasn't. Thereby not saying that he didn't love Mary-Beth for being exactly who she was, and if he had to pick a prospective bride between the two of them, it would be a no contest win in his current girlfriend's favor. On the other hand, he was also a fifteen-year-old virgin, who'd never tried going to second base with a girl and that part of him was too intrigued, not to want to go to that address and at least see what Hannah had to offer him.

He'd used meeting up with Jen and Jack to go and see a movie as his excuse to leave the house and had left with plenty of time for the cold, roughly twenty-minute walk that awaited him. When he got there, he was slightly confused by the "For Sale" sign out in the front yard and was for a moment wondering, if he'd been pranked, when Hannah (dressed and made up to kill, as always) opened the door and shot him a flirting smile.

"You're fifteen minutes early. Did you miss making out with me that much?" she smilingly asked him, as he walked up to the door, trying to appear cool and not like the nervous beginner, that he undoubtedly still was. Even if he had tried a couple of things with Mary-Beth.

"I didn't have you picked for a squatter" he dryly joked, and it drew a rather cute laugh from her, he had to admit.

"I'm not a squatter, I swear! If this is going to be a regular thing between us, we'll need a "secret place", that's only for us and no one else. The realtor is one of my mom's best friends and she has assured me, that she'll let me know well in advance, if someone wants to come and have a look inside".

"And she's fine with you using it as your own private love-nest?"

"I've only told her that it's for when I need a break from my parents. She knows both of them almost as well as I do, so it didn't need any further explaining. So, are we going to stand out here, freezing our butts off all evening, or do you want to come inside, where I'm sure that we can find all kinds of interesting ways of keeping one another warm?"

"I want you to know that I'm breaking up with Mary-Beth" he told her, as they both stepped inside of the house, that was luckily much warmer, than it was outside.

"Why? Don't you like her anymore?" Hannah asked him, asking probably the last question, that he'd expected her to!

"Because I'm cheating on her?" he had to ask Hannah back and she gave him a small, but very soft and seductive kiss in reply.

"And you think that's enough of a reason to end it with her? Dawson, you know that I don't want to be your girlfriend, don't you?" she asked him back, only confusing him even more, than she'd already been doing.

"You don't?"

"Neither of us have even had our sweet sixteen party yet! It's far too early for us to think about getting tied down to one person, or at least, that's how I see it. Anyway, do you really want to start a relationship with a girl, knowing that she'll be out of here, the first chance she gets? That's the fact of the matter Dawson, and if you can't handle that, then maybe we shouldn't be doing this" she replied, giving him an out that he hadn't expected to be thrown his way like this.

"Then what is this?"

"Just because I don't want to have an actual boyfriend, doesn't mean that I don't like some of the aspects to having one. Like spoiling one another, for example. If you rub me the right way, I could spoil you in ways that nerdy little girlfriend of yours has never even heard of before" she gaspingly told him, as she kissed his neck and allowed her warm hands to slip down onto his naked buttocks, that were still close to ice cold after the walk over there. Immediately, it began to give him an erection, that soon became total when she allowed him to take her shirt and bra off, exposing his eyes to the first set of naked teenage breasts, he'd seen in real life before.

"Do you like what you see?" she seductively asked him, as if it wasn't a moot question from the expression, he must have had on his face in that moment.

"Yeah!" was all that he got out, before needing to clear his throat of the frog, she'd just put in there.

"I'll make you a deal, Dawson. Just for tonight, you can touch any and every part of my body all that you want, if I get to touch every part of your body, all that I want. That seems to me like a fair trade-off, don't you agree?"

"Sounds like it to me. Look, I don't know if I'm ready to have sex with you. By that I mean, that I don't think I am" he had to tell her, even if he was a little nervous at how she'd react to him telling her this. To his relief, it only got a rather sweet smile out of her.

"I don't want to do it with you either. I mean, of course, I want to have sex someday, but I don't want it to be until I'm with someone, I'm sure that I'm love with and that just isn't you and that time isn't now".

"You're a virgin too, huh?" he asked her and was actually a little relieved, when she nodded in response.

"Do you think, you can respect that, Dawson? If you can, there are a lot of other things we can do, that don't involve that one thing. Things, that I'm sure Pacey hasn't tried before. As long as we're clear that this is just a ... "Human Biology Lesson in Practice" and nothing more than that. I don't want to be the reason why you ruin a potential good thing with your girlfriend".

"Should I just lie to her, then?"

"You can do what you want. As long as I get what I want!" she slyly told him in that cheeky manner of hers, just before she unbuttoned his jeans and stuck her hand, where no girl had ever stuck their hand before. It wouldn't be many minutes later until they both stood there, exactly as nature had made them.

"If it this is what it's been like for Pacey, when him and Joey have had one of their naughty hook-ups, it's no wonder that he can't stop smirking for hours afterwards!" he fleetingly thought to himself and couldn't help but feel a hint of masculine pride, that it was finally happening for himself as well.

Even if it wasn't happening with any of the girls, that he really wanted it to have happened with for the first time.

END OF CHAPTER THIRTY-THREE

Chapter Text

"She said, "Hey, babe

Take a walk on the wild side"

I said, "Hey, honey

Take a walk on the wild side"

LOU REED (From the album "Transformer" (1972))

Sent: February 20th, 1999

From: Jen Rocks

To: A Girl Named Joey

Subject: Info, please!

Paris! I want all of the dirt on what happened, and I want it now!

Sorry, if I'm being pushy, but you can't blame a girl, whom I may remind you, spends all of her time in mostly boring little Capeside, for being curious!

Jen

Sent: February 20th, 1999

From: A Girl Named Joey

To: Jen Rocks

Subject: re: Info, please!

Where do I even start? Just know in advance that I won't be able to fit it all into one e-mail, so I'll have to breeze over parts of it ...

On their first evening in Paris, after the lovely dinner they'd eaten at the restaurant, where Emma's ex-boyfriend worked, the two girls decided to just play tourists for an evening and after making their way to the top of the Eiffel tower (where Joey had admit that the spectacular view out over the city beat the heck out of the view from their local water tower, on an average Friday night in Capeside), they'd taken a walk around the main shopping street, doing plenty of window shopping of all of those expensive things in the windows, that there was no way they'd be able to afford. While Joey's number one plan for the day after was to find a birthday present for her older sister, the prizes on the things in the window displays told her, that the chance of her finding anything that Bessie would love within her twenty-dollar budget, probably were bigger back in Toulouse, than they were in a very "Touristy" place like the city of love. A little after ten, they took the Metro back to the area their hostel was in and after such a long and eventful day, it didn't take long for both of them to begin to doze off, once they were back in their (surprisingly very comfy) beds.

The next day (their only full day in Paris) began with a quick shower for both of them at the hostel, followed up by breakfast from a cozy little family-run bakery down the street. Even before they'd left Toulouse, Joey had made a plan of all of the things that they just had to see, while they were there and it was her hope that with it being outside of the tourist season, they also wouldn't have to spend too much time waiting in the long lines, that many of the biggest local attractions were unfortunately infamous for. Luckily, most of the major ones on her list were located more or less within the same few "Arrondissements", as the Parisians call the many small communes, that make up what the French consider one of, if not the greatest of all, cities in the world.

They started off at the Sacré-Cœur church and immediately walking in, Joey could almost feel the sense of all of the history located within one of the most beautiful buildings, she'd seen in real life before. Her mom had told her about the beauty of the arcs and the tinted windows, but nothing could beat seeing it for herself and now that they were there, they of course also had to take the many, many stairs up to the top, where you had a nearly as awestriking view of the inner city, as the one they'd had from the Eiffel tower the evening before. Only nearly, though, that much they could both agree on.

Time waits for no man (or fifteen-year-old girl) though, so they only had three-quarters of an hour there or so, before they went on to the next stop on Joey's (very long) list, the Louvre castle and museum. She could remember her mom telling her stories of coming there in the late 60's, when she'd been the same age as Joey was now and how coming there had practically opened up a new world for her and was what had led to her discovering her own passion for all things artful, that she'd so gladly passed onto her daughters. Although, if you had to be fair, it had probably stuck with Joey a bit better, than it had with Bessie, whose inability to discriminate between what is art and what is kitsch sometimes had Joey laughing inside her head over how immensely clueless, her older sister could be on subjects like that. Emma was somewhere in the middle of that spectrum and although, Joey easily could have spent an entire day in there, she could easily tell that just looking at paintings for hours on end was perhaps a bit much for her newest and so far, only British "Chum".

So, after only a little under an hour in there, she decided to give Emma a reprieve from any more museum going for the rest of the day and they instead made their way over the stunning looking Pont de Arts bridge over to the Notre Dame Cathedral, which would also be the first Cathedral that Joey could ever claim to have visited. It was pretty for sure, but she couldn't decide with herself whether it was prettier or not than the Sacré-Cœur church, that they'd visited only a few hours before. In the end, she had to call even stevens on the subject, because there was no way she could decide which of the two had been the most impressive to her.

Continuing on with their pastime of playing tourists for the day, their next stop was one on Emma's (much shorter than Joey's) list, the Père Lachaise Cemetery, that even if it was a little out of their way, had also been the only of its kind on Joey's list. While there, they (among others) visited the graves of Jim Morrison (lead singer of The Doors), Edith Piaf (arguably the most internationally famous French "Chanteuse" of all time) and of course that of the legendary Irish poet Oscar Wilde, who was so horribly persecuted for his homosexuality and on whose grave, both of the girls put down a flower that they'd bought from a (well-placed, you have to say) flower shop, not far from the cemetery gates. As they stood there solemnly looking at his headstone, words that Bodie had spoken to her on the subject of homophobia a few months before, when she was still only suspicious that Abby might not be "playing on the same team, as most of her classmates were", began playing through her head. "I'd like to think that we've come further than that. Sometimes I wonder, if we actually have", were those words and as Joey stood there feeling sorry for the poor Mr. Wilde, that he had to live in a time period, where people like him were considered either dangerous sexual deviants, who needed to be silenced and put in jail, because they supposedly had the power to "poison the mind of the youth", or were just downright crazy to begin with, she also made a decision within herself. That from then on, she would stand on the side of those like him, who were still here on the cusp of the change of the millennium being unjustly hounded, just for being born how they were and needing to live accordingly to it.

After that rather solemn experience, it was time for the girls to get themselves some lunch and they quickly made a deal to take walk by the Seine River, down to the Arc de Triomphe de l'Étoile (or "Triumphal Arch of the Star"), that also makes up the entrance to one of the most famous shopping streets in the world, the Champs-Élysées. As they could have told themselves, there was no shortage of café's down there, most of them filled close to the brink with a mix of locals and the occasional tourist or two like themselves, who'd made their way to their city outside of the usual time, where they would be flooded with literally millions of them each year. Seeing as this was closer to being Emma's "Home Turf", than Joey's own, she allowed Emma to make the choice for them and she chose one of those, where it wasn't completely overflowing with people and it wouldn't be at least half an hour, until they were served anything. After they'd sat down, it wouldn't be many seconds until a smiling young teenage waitress (that Joey had to admit reminded her a lot of herself) brought them a pair of menus.

"What are you having?" Emma casually asked, while glancing over her own menu for something, that could catch her fancy.

"Something light. I'm think that I'm giving their Ratatouille a try" Joey answered, picking the one item on their list of dishes, that she knew was always a hit with her.

"Aren't you the daring one, Joey?" Emma smiling to herself replied, already knowing all too well, that if there was one word in the English dictionary that didn't fit with Joey, it was the word daring. "I think that I'll have one of their stuffed baguettes and to go with my culinary feast, one of their local beers" Emma continued thinking out loud.

"You really think they'll serve you beer? I don't!" Joey had to say and as Emma put down her menu to look her in the eyes, she also couldn't help herself from pulling out a small eyeroll for her American counterpart.

"Joey, this isn't like the US, where you have to be 21 to drink! We didn't have any trouble buying wine at that corner shop back home, did we?" Emma said, recounting the second time that Joey had indulged in the world of alcohol so far in her life. It had mostly been an entertaining experience, even if she'd been a tad paranoid that her host parents would find out, that she'd broken one of the major rules in the student exchange program and could be sent home for it.

"I'm pretty sure that was only because the shopkeeper had drunk more than enough wine himself, don't you?" Joey tried reasoning, although it did little to deter Emma in her plan.

"We can pass for sixteen, if we want to and either way, the worst that can happen is that she cards us. Joey, in a few months you'll be back in a country, where it'll be over five years, until you can start drinking legally. Five years, Joey! That's a third of the time either of us have spent in this world so far! Over here, the legal drinking age is only sixteen, so will you please take advantage of it, while you can? Like any similarly non-sensible teenage girl in your situation would!" Emma tried reasoning back and while the almost-overly sensible side of Joey, that always had it in the back of her head that her sister would find out, and would no doubt scold her either incessantly or passive/aggressively for days (or even weeks) on end for breaking the rules, that had been firmly set down, something in the way Emma had said it made sense to her.

"I still don't think that she'll serve you alcohol, even if you could easily pass for sixteen or seventeen".

"You could too, if you wanted to. I'll make you a deal. If she agrees to serve us, then we both have at least one beer here. Come on, Joey! Rules are there to be broken, remember?" Emma pleaded her case, and probably since Joey thought that Emma would get carded for sure, anyway (because that's what would certainly have happened back in her home country), she went along with Emma's little dare. To her huge surprise, all their waitress asked was which brand of beer they wanted and after Emma willingly admitted to her, that they were tourists and not that well acquainted, when it came to the local beer brands, she even gave them a nice little rundown on what separated them from one another in taste. They agreed to try them two of them that sounded the tastiest and not long after, both of them had what her dad liked to call a "Nice and Frosty One" sitting on the table in front of them.

"You are hopefully aware that my sister would try her best to physically tear my head off my shoulders, if she was here to see me doing this, aren't you?" Joey sarcastically asked, while still debating within herself, if it was safe to take a sip of it or not, like she was expecting Pacey's dad to come busting in through the door at any moment to arrest everyone in there, for running a bar that served a visibly very underage clientele.

"She isn't here, is she?"

"No, but ..."

"Josephine Potter, you know that I absolutely love you to bits, but all of time that I've known you, it's like you've willingly been carrying the entire weight of the world on your shoulders, when that isn't your job! Even if you don't always act like it, deep inside you're still like me, just a big kid, for crying out loud! Acting like it once in a rare while won't hurt you, trust me!" Emma implored her and held up her glass filled with bubbly and foamy beer for a toast.

"Whatever happens from now on and the rest of the day stays between us for the rest of eternity and beyond. Are we clear on that?" Joey rhetorically asked, before taking a nodding Emma up on her toast and taking a sip of the beverage, that it was so forbidden for her to indulge in back home. To yet another surprise of hers that day, it tasted rather delicious and not at all like that cheap and barely drinkable excuse for beer, she'd had a few cups of that evening at Chris Wolfe's party back home, where she'd tried for the first time what it was like to get a bit of a buzz on.

What it also tasted like was one more and by the time they'd finished their lunch both of them were already on slightly wobbly legs, as they left the café again, after a lunch that had been more than a little out of the ordinary!

"Emma, can I take you home with me, when I have to go back to the states? I know, your parents probably won't like it and if my dad is getting out of jail soon, it'll be very crowded at our house ... hey, remember that band "Crowded House"? They had that song: "Hey, now. Hey, now. Don't dream it's over!" Joey began drunkenly (and loudly) singing, while they were down on the street and waiting for Trevor to come down to let them into the apartment building, he lived in. Prior to this had gone an afternoon with more drinking and although, Emma had played the responsible one and constantly reminded Joey that she was a severe lightweight, when it came to drinking and needed to pace herself, they'd had several more drinks that already included a bottle of cheap, but very tasty red wine and a couple of cans of pre-mixed Gin and Tonic. When exactly Joey had turned from sober to drunk, she wasn't entirely sure of, but now that she already was well toasted, she figured that she might as well embrace it.

"Hey, now. Hey, now. When the world comes in! They come, they come. To build a wall between us. But we know they won't win!" Emma continued singing the song's chorus for her, with them also making their best (and probably pretty terrible sounding) attempt at singing harmony on the last part of the chorus. In any case it made both of them break down laughing, just like pretty much everything for the last couple of hours had.

"We probably shouldn't quit our day jobs, if we'd had any! I mean it though, Emma. I'm really going to miss you, when I go home" Joey told Emma from the heart and wasn't lying either. For as much as she missed everyone back home, she also didn't want to say goodbye again to this quirky girl, who aside from being great at leading her into doing all of the things, that she was too scared to try back home, had also become a hugely important person in her life over those past several weeks.

"I'll miss you too, Joey. Don't you worry about that! All of that is too far into the future for us to worry over, though. Tonight is about having fun and cutting loose! Do you think it's within the realm of possibilities that you can do that, little Miss "Always Does, as She's Supposed to?"

"One of us has to, am I right?" Joey drunkenly asked an agreeingly nodding Emma back and soon after, the door was opened by Trevor, who led them into the elevator, that would take them the five flights of stairs up to the small place, he called home.

It was only a two-room apartment, but he'd made it homely enough with plenty of memorabilia from his hometown, that it made Joey quickly begin to feel at ease there. More wine being served helped too of course, and by the time they'd finished off the pizzas that they'd ordered over the phone, they were already well stuck into their third bottle and to say that Joey's head was feeling light, was the same as saying that water is wet or that her dad had deserved getting sent to jail, for all of those drugs he'd helped with smuggling and then "redistributing" to the Capeside populace. Some things are just too obvious to even be needed, to be said.

After they'd played a game of "Trivial Pursuit", played as a drinking game where you had to drink, if you got an answer wrong, they'd made their way out on the town, where a party that one of Trevor's friends was throwing awaited them. Already on the cab ride down there, Joey was beginning to hear a bed calling from afar to her, but mostly for Emma's sake, she decided to try to push it out of her head. A head, that was more and more feeling like the world around her was spinning at far too fast of a pace for her liking.

Waking up the day after, Joey honestly couldn't remember if she'd ever felt that horrible before and the leftover taste of alcohol in her mouth made the bile rise up in her throat and practically immediately sent her running to Trevor's bathroom, in order to make a sacrifice to the toilet gods. With her head throbbing from her nasty hangover, she also needed an extra couple of minutes to steady herself, before she could make her way out of there, to where the smell of breakfast being cooked in the kitchen definitely beat the heck out of the stench, she'd just left behind. Seeing as she was already fully dressed (probably since she'd been too drunk to get undressed the evening before), she made her way out into the kitchen, where Emma was cooking bacon and eggs on the stove, while an already full pot of coffee awaited her in Trevor's coffee maker.

"There's the wildest party girl in all of France, if we're not talking all of Europe!" Emma teasingly turned her head and said to her, just as Joey took a seat at the table, to try to get some semblance of equilibrium back.

"I don't remember any of what happened, after we left here. We took a taxi, didn't we?" Joey had to ask, just before Emma put an extremely welcome cup of Joe and a small bottle of headache pills in front of her. She right away took two of them and washed them down with a large sip of the hot beverage, that also helped with getting rid of the still lingering taste of puke in her mouth.

"Sure did. You were the life of the party last night! It's a shame that you don't remember any of it" Emma told her and right away, images of all of the embarrassing things she'd seen people under the influence do over the years, began flashing through her head. None of which she felt any particular need to be associated with.

"Please, tell me that I didn't make an ass of myself?" Joey asked back, already dreading to her bones what the answer would be.

"No, not too badly! I mean, you did strip naked, before you ran down the street screaming "America Rules, France Drools!", at the top of your lungs. I don't think those policemen took too kindly to that police car, you stole from them or all of those death threats you made against their president and several other members of their parliament either. Especially considering that you did it right in front of them ... come to think of it, we should probably check, before we head to the train station, if there's anything about you being a fugitive of the law on the news today! It's nothing personal, I just like to be on the safe side and be prepared, in case that we have to make a sudden getaway!" Emma answered her very insincerely, while not doing the best job of holding her own giggles back.

"You're such a terrible liar, Emma! Can we try it again, only with the truth this time?"

"The truth is that you fell asleep half an hour after we got there, so we brought you back here to sleep it off. By that point, you were mostly talking complete gibberish anyway, so we figured, it was for the best" Emma relayed to her and immediately, Joey could feel the knot inside of her stomach over what could have happened, begin to untangle.

"Thanks. I'm just sorry that I ruined your evening for you".

"Ah, don't worry about it!" Emma told her dismissively, as the two friends smiled at one another. "I was with you, Joey and that's all that matters to me. Paris will always be here, but this here, you and me having met by chance and becoming this close, at this stage of our lives and with nothing to come between us, even I can see how special that is and that's something, we'll only get this one chance to really enjoy. Honestly, I'd be a fool not to try to milk this friendship or ours for all it's worth, while I can. Which is also why I'm breaking up with Phillipe, when we get home. I don't know what I was thinking, starting something up with a guy, when I already know in the back of my mind, that in all likelihood, I won't ever see him again, after this schoolyear is over. You should thank Trevor though, once he gets back from the bakery with fresh bread for our little culinary feast this morning. Not all guys would have done what he did for a girl that he barely knows, you should remember that".

"You made out with him last night, after I'd fallen asleep, didn't you?"

"Kind of, yeah! I guess, part of me must have realized that I wasn't as over him, as I first thought, I was. I meant what I said, though. These next three months and change are all that we have together, before it's back to reality again. I don't want to waste that time with some boy, who means next to nothing to me, when I could be spending it having a complete blast with the best friend, I've ever had and perhaps, will ever have. And just admit it, Joey! You needed someone like me to come into your life and show you, that life doesn't have to be taken so seriously all of the time and that it's okay, if you just want to have fun and pretend, that everything is perfect in the world, for a handful of hours now and again!" Emma stated and wasn't wrong either in any of what she'd said. Or for that matter, if Joey felt the same way back about her.

After they'd freshened up and said their goodbyes to Trevor, they headed down to their hostel to pay up and pick up their things, leaving them with a good couple of hours to kill, before it was time to head down to the train station and catch their ride heading homewards. This only gave them time to catch one more tourist attraction and since Joey got to pick, she decided that they should go to the Pompidou Centre, the huge multicultural complex that had been commissioned back the 70's by then-president Charles de Gaulle, as a place that brought together all forms of art and literature in one place. Like it was with the Louvre, Joey could easily have spent a whole day in there, but just the taste that she got of it in the hour or so that they had in there, was enough to make her sure, that she would have to make her way back to that wonderous place someday in the future.

On the long train ride home, she couldn't help herself from daydreaming that when that day came, it would be herself and Pacey as adults, with their two kids (a boy and a girl) in tow, who made their way through its doors. She wouldn't tell them about everything that had happened on her first ever weekend in Paris of course, but she would make sure that they understood the main parts of it. That while Paris is an incredible city and this was the weekend where at least part of her had fallen in love with it, she never would have if she hadn't had what she already knew then, would be one the best friends she'd ever have, there to share it all with.

END OF CHAPTER THIRTY-FOUR

Chapter Text

"It's my own design

It's my own remorse

Help me to decide

Help me make the

Most of freedom and of pleasure

Nothing ever lasts forever

Everybody wants to rule the world"

TEARS FOR FEARS (From the album "Songs from the Big Chair" (1985))

Sent: February 27th, 1999

From: Mighty Miss Morgan

To: A Girl Named Joey

Subject: Wish me luck!

We're only a few days away from the election and it's safe to say that the tension at school is so thick, that you could cut it with a knife! Okay, so maybe I'm overdoing it a little and if I have to be honest, it's probably only half of us there, who care about the election result in the slightest! It's still pretty exciting though, so keep your fingers crossed for me!

I almost completely forgot to ask you how you're doing! Isn't that just like me?

Hoping that you're doing great!

Abby

Sent: February 27th, 1999

From: A Girl Named Joey

To: Mighty Miss Morgan

Subject: re: Wish me luck!

Hi, Abby. It'll be hard for me to keep my fingers crossed for you too, considering that I've already promised Dawson that I'll do the same for Mary-Beth. Maybe, I could keep my toes crossed for you and that way, it could even itself out? As long as Belinda doesn't win, that's the main thing, right?

Over here, the time has been flying away since I got home from Paris. It still feels like it was five minutes ago, that we got on the train there and hopefully, that feeling won't go away anytime soon.

Say hi to everyone at home for me!

Joey

Things were getting mighty strange at Capeside High. "Twilight Zone" levels of strange, if you asked Jen. From the day that she'd arrived there, it had seemed like exactly what she'd pictured that most of these smalltown high schools were. Full of old-fashioned teachers, who had perhaps heard of modern teaching techniques, but as far as implementing them, were more likely to quit teaching altogether, than to change anything in the way they'd been doing their jobs for years. As for the school pecking order, it was basically like something out an 80's teen movie, where the jocks and cheerleaders rule unconditionally, while all of their fellow students have to live with things being this way and are expected to not complain too much over it. That was what it was like at their school too, until a tiny, little hurricane came along and hit it with full force. A tiny hurricane by the name of Abby Morgan.

When Abby had first mentioned the idea of running for student body president, the only reason that she'd agreed to help out, was to get a whole lot of alone time with Jack out of it. Which, you could say had worked out pretty well for her, seeing as she had scored him to be her date for the school dance, taking place a week to the day after the student body election. While even Jen herself would admit that her motives hadn't been entirely noble, something in the way that she viewed this election had changed over the past weeks, now where the campaign that her and Jack had come up with for Abby, had gained so much momentum that it was now looking as if the election would end up being a two-way nail-biter between Abby and the constellation of Belinda and Chris (who had so far solely made himself by remarkable by taking as little of a part in their opposing campaign, as he could). Mary-Beth was the only other candidate, who was hanging in there as a strong outsider to win, after she'd done such an amazing job at rounding up those, who were looking for the most competent person for the job, rather than the one, who was best at dishing out dirt on her opponents. In anything, Jen guessed that Mary-Beth focusing on selling her ideas in the best way possible and refusing to take part in any kind of "dirty campaigning", had probably scored her more votes, than any of the mudslinging between Belinda and Abby had for either of them. To be honest, if Jen wasn't feeling forced to vote for Abby out of loyalty, she too would have cast her vote on "MB - The Girl for Me!" (as Mary-Beth's, quite clever, Jen had to admit, campaign slogan went).

To be perfectly honest, Jen didn't care all that much who won, as long as it wasn't Belinda and with only a few days to go until the election, making sure that Belinda didn't take the cake had become top on her list of priorities. After scoring with Jack, it almost went without saying!

"If only we could get some of the jocks on our side, that would almost be sure to seal my victory" Abby thought out loud, while she was glancing through the school paper and like Jen herself, waiting for their next class to start.

"It almost sounds like you want to win now. You're not telling me that this new-found popularity is getting to your head, are you?" Jen asked back, and it made Abby put her paper down and consider it for a moment.

"Maybe, a little bit. Don't get me wrong, this is still about rubbing Belinda's ugly face in the horrible stench of defeat, but ..."

"What about the fact that you're always behind on your schoolwork and that you've been falling even further behind, ever since this journey began for you? Or that you have an after-school job and a girlfriend, who I'm sure will also want to see a little of you, once in a while?" Jen reminded her friend, who shot her a cheeky smile in return.

"She can see all of me, anytime that she wants to!" Abby winkingly replied, getting her a few whistles from a pair of boys sitting in the row behind them, that must have overheard her.

"You know that wasn't what I meant! How are you planning on finding the time to do all of those things, and still have time for a social life? Not to mention, just having the time to get a few hours of sleep every night! I think, we can both agree, that if there's one thing you aren't, it's someone who turns up fresh and ready for school, every Monday through Friday!"

"Okay, I'll give you that as far as my morning-freshness or lack thereof goes, I'm a hundred percent guilty as charged! No arguments there! I won't know until I've tried though, will I? Maybe, I'm capable of so much more, than I ever thought I could do, if I'm given the chance to show that I can. Have you considered that?" Abby asked her, but before she could come up with a suitable answer, it was time for their class to begin.

Pacey had made the wise decision to stay as neutral, as could be, when it came to the election. If past events in his life had taught him anything, it was that when you had two friends, who weren't agreeing on something, it was better to take the high road and declare, that he while agreed somewhat with both of them, it wasn't a strong enough agreement, that he was willing to pick sides. This had worked for the most part too, although he had broken his self-declared "Neutrality Pact" a couple of times, when he'd taken an extra shift at the video store for Dawson, who'd been too busy with helping his girlfriend win the election, to turn up for work. He didn't mind working the extra hours at the store either, now that it was freezing cold outside for the most part, and with the way things were going financially for his parents, it was quickly becoming clear to him, that if he was going to move out on his own right after high school ended, then the money for a security deposit on a place to live, along with the dough for some furniture to put inside of said place, would have to come entirely out of his own pocket.

On this day though, he'd decided to (with the exception of going to school and doing any must be done homework that might be sent his way) on taking it easy for once. Dawson would be making up for lost time at the video store, meaning that he didn't have to come in for work until the evening shift the day after, and his grades, while still not being entirely on the same level as those his best amigo was getting, had been surely and steadily improving since the start of the semester. From the last talk he'd had with the principal, it sounded like there was a good possibility, that he would be able to get away with taking a few classes in summer school and that if he did that and kept up the improvements, then he'd be able to avoid getting held back year, which was still the worst-case scenario, as Pacey himself saw it.

Which in its own way would also be ideal, since his beloved Joey would be attending summer school too, to make up most of the credits that she'd missed out on for spending half a year in France. Already now, thoughts of them sneaking away from their classes to do some R-rated "Extracurricular Activities" down in the boiler room, were enough to send the blood rushing to his groin. Unfortunately, this also included sometimes in situations where he didn't want it to happen, but those tiny bits of embarrassment were a small price for something, that helped him to get through even the bleakest of days, that were sure to come along here and then. The question of what he was going to do on this "Half-Day Off" of his, was exactly what he was pondering during his first break of the day, over a cup of hot chocolate in the near empty cafeteria, when Abby came practically barging in and steered steadfastly towards him.

"I need your help, Pacey!" she told him imploringly, before taking a seat across from him.

"I didn't hear the word please!" he replied teasingly, getting a small eyeroll from her in return.

"Will you please help me? I have a problem and I need a boy to help me with it!" she said and like the cheeky "Han Solo-Like" scoundrel, that he couldn't help himself from being sometimes, he gave her a small suspicious glare. "I didn't mean help me "That Way"! I can perfectly well take care of that myself; I'll have you know!"

"I'm sure that you can! My answer all depends on what you're asking of me, so say what you have to say" he replied smugly, now that there was finally girl who wanted something from him again.

"It's nothing big! I just need you to help me with sealing the deal on this whole election thing!"

"Already, I'm leaning heavily towards a hard no! I'm sure that I don't need to remind you that ..."

"Dawson is you best bro or whatever and you don't want him to get mad at you, for helping someone other than his girlfriend win! I get that whichever bro-code you two live by forbids it and if it had been Jen doing something to sabotage my chances of winning, I'd be pretty miffed with her too!"

"Why are you asking me, then?"

"Because you won't directly be doing anything to ruin Mary-Beth's chances of winning. If you spin things the right way, you could actually say that you helped her get closer to winning" Abby explained, sounding no less like a fox in a hen house, than he'd ever heard someone sound before.

"I'm going to regret saying this, but I'll hear you out!"

"You and Chris used to be buddies, didn't you? What happened there?"

"I won't say that we've ever really been friends as such. He's just a guy that I've talked to every once in a while, ever since we were little, that's all. What's with the sudden interest in Chris? You aren't thinking of changing teams again, are you?" he jokingly asked. The laugh that Abby let out however, told him in no uncertain terms, how far that ship had already sailed away from its former port of call.

"Not in this lifetime or the next ten ones to come after it, at least! Haven't you noticed how he's barely ever been there, whenever anything campaign related is going on?"

"I can't say that I'm too surprised. Can you imagine Chris attending one of those meetings? Knowing him, he'll be looking for the fastest way out of there, before they'd even begin with the first point on the agenda!"

"Then it isn't just me, who's smelling something fishy, and it isn't only the smell of those lousy fish sticks, that we'll be having for lunch for the fourth time in the space of two weeks! We all know that the only reason why most of the jocks are voting for him and through that Belinda, is because they see him as one of their own and none of us other candidates are. Of course, they'd rather vote for him than someone like me or Mary-Beth! Would they still vote for Belinda though, if she didn't have him to boost her numbers, is what I'm asking myself?" Abby threw out there and he could easily see what she meant. Even if he'd overheard a good few of the jocks bragging about scoring with Belinda in the past, for the most part, she wasn't anymore well-liked by them, then she was by the majority of the students at Capeside High.

"What's your plan?" he asked back, seeing as he wasn't any keener on the idea of Belinda being student body president, then any of his friends were.

"Have a chat him and try to find out why he's doing something, that he obviously doesn't give two hoots about in the first place! If Dawson asks why, you did it, you can just tell him that ..."

"I did it to try to score some more votes for Mary-Beth. I've got you on that one! You have my interest piqued, Morgan, I'm just still not entirely sure ..."

"What if I ... agreed to be your servant for six hours?" she asked, clearly not liking the idea anymore, then how funny it sounded to his ears.

"What an interesting idea, Abby! Twelve hours and you have yourself a deal!"

"Nine hours, and I want it to be spread out over two days. There's a limit to how much humiliation that I'm willing to put myself through though, so I will reserve the right to refuse any task, if I think that it's too demeaning!"

"How does sanding down my boat, before it's time to give it a fresh coat of paint for the spring, sound to you?"

"Incredibly boring, but acceptable! You have to give it the old college try however, or the deal is off the table" Abby slightly reprimanded him, before they nodded at one another as a sign of agreement.

As an added extra bonus, he now also had a plan for what to spend the rest of his day on!

Just as school for the day was coming to an end, it also became time for one of the almost daily rituals in Jen's life (that she could do without), to repeat itself: Her (once again) refusing Chris Wolfe, when he tried to ask her out. To start off with, the only difference this time, compared to all of the other times that he'd tried it, was that he picked the worst time possible, just as she was getting a drink from one of the water fountains, and the small shock that he gave her was enough to send water spraying all over her shirt and jeans.

"Ooh!" was all he said in reaction to this new predicament, that he'd put her in, and it didn't help much, when it came to much patience that she had with him, or how little that she felt like talking to him.

"I'm standing here looking like a fool and it's all thanks to you and all you have to say is "Ooh"? What part of "I'm not interested in you and there's a bigger chance of me suddenly growing a tail, than it ever happening!" doesn't your single-celled, idiotic, caveman brain understand?" she practically yelled at him, drawing stares from nearly all of those nearby. Not that she cared nearly as much about it, as Chris did.

"I thought that you were just playing hard to get!" he tried replying innocently, coming off about as intelligent as a chimp trying to solve a Rubic's cube in the process.

"How many ways can I say it, Chris? I think that you're a total scuzz-ball, who treats us girls like we only exist for your own amusement and here's a news flash for you: You're not nearly as hot, as you think you are! In fact, I could name thirty guys here that I think are way hotter than you! In addition to that, your sleazy personality is so incredibly off-putting to me, that I'd rather date any other guy here, before I took a chance on you! So, pretty please, with mother-flipping sugar on top! Will you get lost and leave me alone from now on?" she angrily told him off, in what had to be the worst way that she'd ever done it to someone.

At first, it had felt like a weight off her shoulders too, but the second that she'd said it, something in her mood changed. Perhaps, it was the hurt puppy-dog look on his face, but it didn't take many moments for Jen's emotions to shift from feeling relieved, that she'd finally told him where to stick his date proposals, to feeling like the biggest low-life in the entire world, for not only having done it front of a hallway full of people, but also to a boy, who for all of this over the top macho bravado, she also had to admit to having severely prejudged beforehand, from the moment that she'd first laid eyes on him.

"All I did was try to get to know you, Jen. I thought that I saw someone a little bit like me in you, but I must have been wrong. By the way, you don't have to worry about me asking you out again. I can't see why I should waste any more time on a stuck-up bitch, who thinks that she's above everyone else here, just because her parents are stinking rich and she's from New York!" he fired back sharply, before storming away from her.

As she stood there, taking in what he'd said and trying to ignore the probably well-deserved stares and whispers, she was getting, she couldn't help thinking to herself, if parts of what he'd said hadn't been correct. For as much as she'd tried to come to Capeside with an open mind and had tried not to judge anyone, before she had a chance to get to know them, she'd undeniably done so in far more situations, than she would have liked to say it had happened in and with many more people, than she should have, with Chris probably being on top of that list. When she thought back to Joey and the rather negative first impression, she'd gotten of her, it had been nothing even remotely similar to the caring and loyal friend, that she'd turned out to be. A girl, who she had more in common with, than she'd ever had with a girl before, at least since she'd hit her pre-teens. Who was to say that she wasn't just as wrong about Chris and hadn't just humiliated a guy in public, who'd done nothing to deserve it?

Sometimes, Jen really didn't like herself all that much!

Pacey had spent most of the rest of his school day, after his talk with Abby earlier that day, coming up with how to spin the issue of talking about the election with a guy, whom he'd never talked to about anything except for girls and how sexy, they respectively thought that they were. A few times, they'd also talked about football, but that was the extent of their friendship so far and if it was up to Pacey himself, that was how it would stay. He had enough friends in his life without having to add a guy like Chris, that he had little to nothing in common with, apart for them having played on the same playgrounds growing up and a guy, whose views of women and girls, he felt belonged better in a faraway past, parts of which were better left forgotten.

Just as he was in the middle of trying to come up with an opening line, Chris came over to him looking enraged, exactly as he was putting his books in the locker and locking it up for the rest of the day.

"What the hell is Jen's problem? She totally blew a gasket at me in the middle of the hallway, for no reason!" Chris exasperatedly said to him, doing nothing to hide his frustration.

"You don't think that it could be ... you know, her time of the month? We all know that chicks sometimes get a little moody, when they have their monthly visitor!" he replied, trying to cool Chris down, before he could start a conversation with him.

"I guess that you could be right, but this went far beyond your normal kind of moody! This was like Belinda, when she goes into "Horrible Bitch-Mode" times a hundred! Sometimes, I just don't get girls at all, man!" Chris sighed, as he slumped up against the neighboring locker to Pacey's.

"You think, you're the only one? I'm glad that I have Joey, because she's the only one out of them that I come close to getting!" he replied, in part to play up to agreeing with Chris on things and in part also, because it was true. Even if he'd become friends with a whole lot more of them, than he had been just going back to the summer prior to this (when his social circle, as far as girls that he wasn't closely related to went, still was only comprised of Joey and no one else), there were still many things about them that mystified him and that he could guess, would for some time to come.

"You don't know how lucky, you are! Can you image how horny, she's going to be for you, when she sees you again after you've been apart for that long? You'll be lucky, if you're able to walk, after she's done with you!" Chris joked and although, Pacey found his joke to be a little on the tasteless side (especially considering where it was being spoken), he also knew that it would be far easier for him, as far as his objective went, if he had Chris in a mood to talk and not still upset over what had happened with Jen, so for that reason alone, he laughed along with him.

"I hope so!" he joked back. "What are you doing after school today?"

"Nothing much. I have my mom's car for the day, so I was planning on taking it out for a spin. You want to come?" Chris asked and it wasn't too long after this, that they were driving away from their school in what looked to Pacey like it was practically a brand-new Toyota. Either that, or it was extremely well-kept.

"Nice ride! When did you get your license?" he asked, while making sure that his seatbelt was well-fastened, since Chris was clearly taking the idea of speed limits with a grain of salt.

"Last week. When I turn twenty-one and my trust fund gets paid out, you'd better believe that I'm getting myself a sweet-ass ride, that'll put this one to shame! Oh, well. Beggars can't be choosers, can they?" Chris rhetorically asked him back, just before he had to hit the brakes hard to avoid crashing into the car ahead of them, filled with what looked like a mother with her three kids.

"Learn to drive, will you? Pacey, you wouldn't believe the idiots, that you run into out in traffic!" Chris annoyedly said, even if it had clearly been him, who'd been speeding and hadn't begun slowing down soon enough.

"Tell me about it! On second thought, don't!"

"I know what you mean. It isn't like there aren't enough things in this world to annoy the living hell out of a guy, without having to add a few dumbasses behind the wheel of a car on top of it!" Chris complained and for the first time that Pacey could remember, something that he'd said actually interested him. Somewhat, at least.

"Like what? I would have thought that a guy like you had everything going for him".

"That's what I try to make people think, but it isn't the entire truth. Remember that party, I threw at my parents' house a few months ago? They're still giving me tons of flak, because someone made a couple of burn marks on my mom's favorite rug and the cops came there to shut it down! Can you believe that?"

"Parents can be a pain sometimes, can't they?"

"Isn't that the truth! Yours too, huh?"

"They're the yoke, that we're born with and have to carry around everywhere!" Pacey joked and the small laugh that he got from Chris, told him that striking time, when it came to asking some certain pressing questions, was coming close.

"If it wasn't for them ... nah, forget it!"

"You wouldn't be running in the Student Boby election? Don't you think, you'd be bored to death at their meetings?"

"Hey, I can't stand Belinda either! She treats me like I'm her dog and thinks that just because our parents are old friends and I need to win this election, in order to get my parents to like me again, she can talk to me however she wants to!" Chris blurted out, unknowingly putting every piece together in Pacey's plan, in doing so.

"Hmm ..." Pacey said, while contemplating it all for a moment.

"I'd drop out of that election in a second, if I could, but she's grabbed me by the balls, and she isn't about to let go anytime soon! If I was at least getting laid with her, that would be something, but I've been caught in a lose/lose situation here!" Chris continued, before banging his hands on the steering wheel in sheer frustration.

"Have you ever talked to Hannah Von Wenning before? You should give it a try" Pacey suggested, getting a strange look from Chris in return.

"Sure, I have, but why?"

"Just trust me on this. The two of you will get along splendidly!"

As they drove on for another hour or so, before Chris dropped him off in front of his and his mom's house, Pacey couldn't help feeling a sense of accomplishment along with a sinking feeling, that by the time they showed up for school tomorrow, there would be a few changes to look forward to.

The rest of Jen's day, after her emotional bust-up with Chris in the hallway, had consisted of a mix of self-loathing, self-pitying and at a few points, her even stooping so far as to feeling the need to call her mom up, to have a talk. Grams, who must have picked up on how low she was feeling, had tried to cheer her up by baking her favorite cookies and they'd spend the evening watching TV together, most of which had gone in through one of her ears and out the other. She'd always hated prejudicial people, so to come to terms with to some extend being one of them wasn't an easy pill to swallow. She needed to apologize to Chris for her outburst, that much was clear to her and even if she wouldn't go so far as to go on a date with him as an apology, she would also try to start things off on a fresh slate with him, if he was up for it.

When she got to school the morning after, she therefore wasn't looking all that much forward to what was to come. That quickly began to change, when she saw Abby and Melissa with smiles so wide, that you'd think, they'd just been told that they'd won a million dollars. Each!

"Top of the morning to you, Jen! Have you heard the best news ever?" Abby smilingly asked her, so giddy that Jen had rarely seen the likes of it from her before.

"That ... it'll be at least a month, until they serve those unbelievably dry and only barely edible fish sticks again in the cafeteria?" she joked, even if parts of her joke was masked in frustration at how bad the food had been in the cafeteria lately.

"We can only wish! Belinda has withdrawn her candidature!" Melissa told her and immediately by doing so, sent a huge wave of relief through Jen's body and soul at the same time.

"Get this! Chris completely denounced her all over the school internet message board last night, saying how she's been mean to him and everyone else and best of all for us, that she would be the absolute worst choice out of anyone at this school, to become Student Body President! People have been handing printouts of it out at school all morning. Look" Abby said, before handing Jen a sheet of A4 paper with the printout of everything that Chris had written about Belinda front and center on it.

"Wow! He really didn't hold back, did he?" Jen blurted out, as she was reading her way through it.

"This basically makes it a two-horse race! Right now, they're actually saying that I'm the favorite to win! Would you ever have believed that, when it was just me, you and Jack at the video store, discussing my crazy idea to run for student body president?" Abby asked her, still so hyped up, that she could hardly get the words out!

"It wasn't as crazy, as what's going on right now! I wonder what made him do this, though. It doesn't seem to me like he has a whole lot to win by it" she thought out loud, just as Melissa pointed something out to her, that soon came close to making her jaw drop.

"It's just a hunch, but I think that his new main squeeze could have something to do with it!" Mellisa quipped, as all three of their sets of eyes were sent over towards the school's new power couple. Chris Wolfe and Hannah Von Wenning, holding hands and playfully flirting with one another, as they walked down the hallway together.

"Who could have seen that one coming, huh?" Abby casually asked her and for once, Jen had to admit to being at a complete loss on what to reply. And it wasn't just because she'd never imagined seeing Chris looking like a normal boyfriend, walking the hallways and holding hands with his girlfriend, or that it was someone like Hannah, whom she'd figured had to be way too street-smart, to fall for his easy to pull apart, juvenile macho act.

The main reason was because, for some to herself totally unexplainable reason, she found herself being filled with an onslaught of jealousy, that it wasn't herself holding his hand and being flirted with by him.

END OF CHAPTER THIRTY-FIVE

Chapter Text

"White riot, I wanna riot!

White riot, a riot of my own!"

THE CLASH (From the album "The Clash" (1977))

Sent: March 5th, 1999

From: A Girl Named Joey

To: Spielberg's Disciple

Subject: The footage, you sent to me.

Hi, Dawson. I managed to download that short video clip, you'd sent to me as an attachment to your last e-mail (which btw took me forever, plus I had to ask a teacher for permission, before I could download anything to their school computers) and while the footage that I saw was very grainy, it still looks and sounds like an interesting idea for your movie and one that I think, you should stick with. If you want to run any ideas by me, don't hesitate to ask, okay? Just because I'm not physically there to lend a hand, doesn't mean that I'm not ready to help you out, any way that I can.

Best of luck with it all!

Joey

Sent: March 5th, 1999

From: Spielberg's Disciple

To: A Girl Named Joey

Subject: My movie.

Hi, Joey. I've just watched that clip in its digitally transferred version for the first time and I'm sorry, but it seemed like an easy idea, to send it to you that way, so that I could get some feedback from you. I guess that while George Lucas is apparently ready to try what's it's like to shoot an entire Star Wars trilogy in digital, the rest of us mortals have to wait a few more years, before it really becomes useful to us! I can't wait to see what he's come up with though, when the first movie in his new trio of movies set in a galaxy far, far away, premieres a few months from now!

I'm glad that you liked my idea and right now, that's also the story I'm leaning towards going with, a tragic high school love story gone wrong sort of movie, if that makes any sense!

Have fun and take good care of yourself!

Dawson.

When Abby woke up that morning, it was for once in a rare while, with a smile on her usually grumpy in the morning face. In this world there are A-People (like Bessie, who's working like a dynamo from the moment, she wakes up), B-People (like Bodie, who needs a few cups of coffee and a shower, before he's good for anything) and then, there were people like herself, who fall outside of both categories and on most days don't even begin to properly wake up, until they've been up for a couple of hours, at the least. This morning though, she'd felt a surge of energy from the moment, she'd begun to come to and unlike her usual ritual, where she (if she didn't have to go to the bathroom immediately after waking up) would lie still for a good fifteen minutes and allow herself to slowly come to that way, by the time Bessie had breakfast for the four of them in their little household ready, she'd already showered, picked out the perfect "Professional looking, yet not so much that she didn't look like someone, you could come over and talk to" outfit for election day and had even had a few extra minutes to go over her acceptance speech, for when she was sure to be crowned the winner and new student body president later that day.

"What sounds most like what a real politician would say? "Thanks to all of you, who voted for me" or just "Thanks for all of your support". I kind of thinking that the first one sounds like I'm blaming all of those, who didn't vote for me and I don't want them to think that I have against them or anything like that, just because they were too blind to see, that I'm clearly the number one candidate to win this election!" Abby asked Bodie, who was looking over the paper from yesterday (that he hadn't had time to read yet) and Bessie, who had both hands full with Alexander occupying one of them and her trying to fill up the dishwasher with the other hand.

"I'd go with the second choice" Bodie half-heartedly answered her, while turning a page in his newspaper.

"Don't you think it's a little early to be working on your acceptance speech, when the first vote hasn't been cast yet?" Bessie asked her, before closing up their practically ancient dishwasher (that had been on its last legs for years and only by some miracle was still more or less working, like it was supposed to) and getting it's rinse cycle started.

"You can't tell me that every candidate for president, no matter how far they were behind in the polls before the election, didn't have a winner's speech prepared, just in case?" Abby asked back, right before settling on "Thanks for your support" being the best opening line to go with.

"She's got you there, Bessie!" Bodie teased his fiancée, who shook her head at him in reply.

"Like you'd know, Bodie? When have you ever run in an election?" Bessie asked him and it got him to put down his paper for a moment or two.

"Even if I've never run for anything myself, I'll have you know that I've helped out on a few election campaigns in the past. Like for a guy that you might know named Bill Clinton?" he told them, drawing sceptic stares based on his claim. It even looked like Alexander was sending him a pair of them too, although you'd have call it extremely unlikely that he would have any idea, who Bill Clinton was or what the whole big deal with politics was, anyway!

"You planned President Clinton's presidential election campaign? Bodie, you know that I love you, but I have to call BS on that one!" Bessie sharply answered him, while Abby herself nodded along in agreement.

"I never said that I planned it, only that helped on it! I was among the several thousands, who helped to organize a whole lot of young voters, to vote for the first time in that 1992 election and why did Clinton win that election? In great part because of people like me, who worked our butts off to get so many first-time voters to support him over that fossil George Bush, whose only plan was to continue doing what everyone, except for him and his rich buddies, could see wasn't working! I rest my case!" he explained to them smugly, before getting back to reading his newspaper.

"That's the same as saying that Joey and I are helping with saving the rainforest, because we send e-mails back and forth and don't send letters to one another! It doesn't count!" Abby interjected and it looked to her, like Bessie was for the most part agreeing with her.

"In any case, it sounds a lot to me like you're selling off the pelt, before the bear has been shot yet. We just don't want to set you up more disappointment, than I'm sure you've already had enough of in your life so far, Abby" Bessie caringly said, while looking into her eyes (in the same manner that she usually did, when the control freak inside of her had to be sure that what someone was telling her was the truth and nothing but the truth).

"I'm not, I swear! I mean, look at it this way: I came into the election, thinking that I had next to no chance of winning, so even if I lose, it isn't like I've REALLY lost, if you know what I mean? Just the fact that I, who was a complete and utter nobody at our school less than a month ago, managed to use my wits to stop the worst girl in the entire world from winning the election and in turn, turning that entire school into her personal little hellhole, is more than enough for me! Winning today would be the cherry on the sundae, nothing more!" she tried to convince Bessie, who didn't look like she was entirely buying it, but at the same time probably didn't want to start any arguments over such a tiny thing.

Was it true, though? Hell no, it wasn't! Only a week or two ago, it would have been the truth, but not anymore. Now, Abby didn't only want to win that election, she wanted to win it in style!

How many times had Dawson tried to tell himself, that he needed to stop what he was doing right away and get back to reality again, while he'd been half-nakedly making out with Hannah down in the boiler room? The answer was so many times that he'd lost count minutes earlier, but with their next class (Peterson's English class, AKA the last class that you wanted to be late for!) looming ever closer, he'd have to call a close to their make-out session, unless that he wanted the entire school to know what kind of sordid affairs, he'd been getting up to with that irresistible little minx on a near-daily basis, since their first hook-up a few weeks earlier. He knew that what they were doing was wrong, yet the ways she had of turning him on would always leave him helpless and ready to do, whatever she wanted him to. In other words, he'd become the Ducky to her Molly Ringwald and almost the worst part of it, was that he was doing it willingly.

"We have to stop this and get to class!" he tried telling her, even if he knew that him telling her to do something, so far had never resulted in her doing it.

"You don't think that it would be a lot funnier, if we got the entire school talking about us? It sure doesn't take a lot around here!" she cheekily asked him, while reaching down into a place in his pants, that she was the only girl, who'd ever touched before. As far as he knew (and wanted to know), anyway.

"Don't you think this is messy enough, as it is?" he annoyedly asked her back, before pulling her hand out of his boxer shorts and buttoning up his "Goodies", so she wouldn't get to them. "It was one thing when it was just Mary-Beth being the unsuspecting victim in all of this ... whatever it is, that we've become!"

"I believe that the correct term would be friends with benefits".

"That's the thing, though. We're not even friends! I'm just a guy that you use to fulfill your needs, whenever they need fulfilling!"

"And what's so wrong about that? I'm fifteen, close to being sixteen. You can't expect me to live like a nun!" she objected, before putting her own clothes back on again, now that their little break away from eyes of the rest of the school was obviously coming to an end.

"Don't you care about love and the idea of being faithful to someone, who places their trust in you at all?"

"You mean like you are to your mousy, little girlfriend?" she asked him tauntingly.

"That's low and you know it! I should ..."

"Do what, Dawson? Break up with me? Go ahead, see if I care! Of course, if you do, then you can also wave goodbye to those five thousand dollars, I'm investing in your movie. Come to think of it, I might just also have to have a little talk with Mary-Beth about the kind of things, her boyfriend likes to get up to down in the boiler room, or any of the other many places around town, where he more than willingly made out with me!"

"I'd like to see you try! Either way, what's to stop me from telling Chris on you? It's practically the same thing, you're doing to him!" he told a now game for an all-out verbal war Hannah, who looked him tauntingly and directly in the eyes.

"Chris and I have gone out on a couple of dates, that's all. You spent months earning Mary-Beth's trust, painstakingly awaiting the moment where she would open herself up enough, to give herself to you. Plus, it's Chris, we're talking about here! Let's face it, he isn't exactly the deepest guy out there, when it comes to the whole scope of emotions thing!" she said, and he had to agree with her there.

"Still, you can't just go around and playing with people's emotions like this! Can't you see that ..."

"I'm the one, who's playing with people's emotions? Try taking a good, hard look in the mirror for once, Dawson, and then tell me, what you see! Unlike you, I don't have a habit of filling the heads of my lovers with my lies and I've already made it as clear as day to him, that I intend to be back in an adequate private school by the start of the next schoolyear. My guess is that if he has a fun evening out with his friends and he's lucky enough, that some doll-faced bimbo takes enough pity on him, that she'll want to suck face with him, there's zero chance that he won't have already entirely moved on to her and forgotten all about me, before he goes to sleep that night! What you're doing to Mary-Beth, though? Whew! That's the kind of revelation that could scar a shy and innocent girl like her for life! You realize that she could end up being a spinster for the rest of her life, after the way you'll inevitably end up crushing her fragile, young heart into a thousand pieces, don't you?" she continued, taunting him to try to get a reaction out of him further with every syllable, that came out of her devilish mouth.

"Even you wouldn't be that heartless!" he told her off, trying to hold his ground, even if it clearly was a losing battle.

"You can believe me or not, I couldn't less which you choose to, but I have a soft spot for girls like her, who never do anything bad towards anyone else, who try to make this world a better place, because they want to and not because someone is telling them, that they have to do it for their own reward and mostly, who all deserve to have far better boyfriends than dogs like you, so I won't resort to telling her, unless you make if my final option. Trust me on this though, you don't want to try me, Dawson! Now, be a good boy and go up the stairs first, so we won't be seen together! Even if Chris isn't more than a useful fool at the best of times, he does have a driver's license and regular access to a car and I'm sure that I can still find some way, where even the dumbest out of the many, many dumb boys at this school, can be of some kind of use to me!" she menacingly said, not holding back in the tone of her voice at how little she clearly thought of the both of them.

He first only opened the door up to the hallway slightly ajar, to make sure that no one saw him come out from there. Once he saw that the coast was clear, he quickly made his way out of the door and shut it behind himself, leaving no evidence of what had just transpired down there less than a minute earlier.

He only had less than two minutes to make it to class on time, though and with him also having to stop by his locker to get his books for it, this meant that he had to make a solid run for it, if he was going to make it on time. When he got to class, he was both feeling gassed and surprised to see that Hannah had already made it there before him. Otherwise, he just tried to ignore her the best he could, as he took his usual seat next to Pacey.

"Why is the usually first or second one to get there before class begins, almost late for this one, I wonder?" Pacey whisperingly asked him, giving him the need to come up with a quick excuse.

"Ehm ... my dad made this really spicy Mexican food for dinner a few days ago. It tastes amazing going in, but when it's time for it to come out again ..." he began whispering back.

"That's okay, Dawson. I don't feel any particular need to hear the details about your bowel movements!" his friend whispered back, while making a disgusted face, giving him the out that he needed.

For the next hour or so, while Peterson rambled on and on about something, that he wasn't paying any real attention to, there were two sets of feelings overcoming him. The first was feeling angry with himself, for being such a lousy boyfriend to an incredibly wonderful girl, who deserved only the best, that life could offer her and for "Making a deal with the Devil", as Pacey had previously put it, when he should have been smart enough to know that nothing comes without a price. Especially, when you're dealing with a borderline militant, feminist sociopath, whose head is filled to the brink with serious issues, when it comes to men and boys as a whole, as he'd now come to find out that Hannah obviously was!

The second set of feelings were a mix of fear and regret, because he knew deep down that Mary-Beth was almost certain to find out the truth some way in the future and that when she did, he'd be confronted with what a horny idiot of a teenage boy, he was acting like right at this time of his life. Sure, he knew that he wasn't alone in it and that just in the same classroom, he was sitting in, there was sure to be at least one other guy, who'd done something with another girl than his girlfriend at the time, that he wishes that he hadn't done afterwards. That still wasn't an excuse, and no one knew it better than he did, so what other explanation could he have for her, other than "She tried to seduce me, and I went along with it"?

For now however, he only had one plan to stick to and if all went well, then he would also get the bonus of being able to finally get a full night's worth of sleep and for the first time in days, not wake up in the middle of the night, just so he could lie there and think about his girl troubles, until seven o'clock hit and it was time for him to get ready for school. Whether she'd won or lost the election (which they would find out before the school day ended), he would spoil Mary-Beth to the absolute best of his abilities and if he could keep a Colgate smile on her mouth from the second that she saw him, until they bid their goodnights, it would mean that he'd at least done something nice for her, to atone for all of the not-so-nice things, he was also far too guilty of perpetrating towards her.

Abby had to admit that with all of the excitement of the election filling her head, it hadn't been easy to keep her mind on school during her morning classes. She'd only more or less managed to concentrate during her biology test and even that had entirely been because she had what her teacher had called "A Very Low D-Minus" in the subject, that she needed to pull up before the end of the schoolyear, or she'd be taking it again in summer school. Unfortunately, Biology was far from the only subject, she was suffering in and unless her finals went far beyond expectations, there was little chance that Pacey and Joey wouldn't have her for a classmate over the summer, when she could have been spending it having fun by the creek, if she wasn't going out on cool little daytrips with Melissa or her friends.

"Abby Morgan, would you come to the principal's office, please?" came out over the speakers from a voice, that was clearly that of the school secretary, just as her final class before lunch was coming to a close.

As she made her way down there, she wondered what it could be about this time. In her so far year and three-quarters at the school, it was safe to say that she'd been one of most frequent visitors down there, but she hadn't done anything against the rules, since she'd punched Belinda in the face and she already had two more months of Saturday detention to go, before she'd served her time on that one. What else could they do to her, with the exception of kicking out?

"What did I do now?" she tried humorously asking the principal, just after she'd taken a seat across from him, with his office desk separating them.

"Abby, in my twenty plus years as a principal, I haven't had anywhere near as many talks with a student over such a short period of time, as I've had with you, since you started here. Before you came here, I honestly didn't think that it would ever be needed, but it is what it is! Which is also why I'm hoping that you'll trust me, when I tell you that what I'm about to say, is solely for your own good. Are we clear on that?"

"Crystal clear!" she smilingly answered him, even if she already didn't like where this was heading.

To her slight surprise, he handed her a rather thick book.

"The school charter. Look up what it says on page seventy, paragraph sixty-three" he told her, and it only took her a few seconds to find the part, he was referring to.

"Paragraph sixty-three" she began reading. "It says here that: "If a student is suspended or on academic probation, they are not allowed to take part in activities such as student body committee meetings, sporting events or other kinds of competitions, associated with the school". Isn't that what they usually refer to as "The Football Player Rule"?"

"Some do. Abby, with the way your grades have been on a solid downhill slide since your election campaign began, after they'd actually begun to up a little, it would be nothing short of academic suicide, for you to do both things at the same time. As your principal and the one, who's here to act in your best interest, I'm placing you on academic probation, which disqualifies you from running in the election, I'm afraid" he explained to her and although, part of her wanted to plead her case, to let her run in spite of her bad grades, the rational side of her knew that he was probably right.

"How's this for karma coming back to bite you in butt? Pardon my French!" she said jokingly, while trying to force a smile for him.

"Abby, you're still only a sophomore here. So, you didn't become student body president this year, but no one says that you can't try your luck again next year! If you ask me, I think that you'd make for a fine student body president, you just need to get those grades up, so we don't need to have as many of these little talks, as we have been. It isn't that you aren't a clever girl, Abby, you just need to channel your energy to where it's needed and not on all other kinds of things. Okay?" he told her with a kind smile in return for the one, she was giving him.

"Okay. Can I ask you something?"

"I can't see why not".

"If you were a student here, would you have voted for me? I mean, if you could have".

"Abby, no one here believes in your untapped wealth of potential more than I do. As for whether I'd vote for you, that part I'm keeping to myself" he told her as kindly, as he could.

As she left the principal's office, there was still a part of her that was disappointed that she wouldn't at least find out, how the election would have ended, had she run in it. Apart from that however, it really didn't bother her all that much.

"He actually said that you have an "Untapped Wealth of Potential"? Those are some mighty big words!" Jen quipped, while they were standing in line to cast their respective votes for Mary-Beth.

"I know! Let's say that it was you and someone said that to you, what would do with that information?" she jokingly asked back.

"I don't know! Start my own company or something, I guess!" Jen joked back and they shared a small giggle.

"Right now, all it's good for is as a morale boost, while I hunker down to try to get my grades up to an acceptable level. Unlike most of the people in our class, I can't add the word "Again" to that sentence, so it would make for a nice first for me!"

"Let me know how it feels, will you?"

"Sure thing. It looks like MB has this thing locked down, huh?"

"I guess so. You're really not the tiniest bit angry inside, that they wouldn't allow you to run, after all of that hard work, we put into your campaign?"

"What hard work? Just admit it, Jen! This has been one long win-win situation for you!" she explained to a Jen, who was curious as to what she'd meant.

"Explain".

"Let's start with the subject of Jack, shall we? Remind me, what was your status with him, before this election campaign began?"

"I'd talked to him a good handful of times, but I didn't really know him yet".

"And now, he's your date for the dance next week! To quote Bodie: I rest my case!"

"I'm sure that someone used that expression long before he did, but go on?"

"Plus, you helped with putting Belinda in her place and in doing so, probably stopped her from terrorizing lots of other outsider girls, who are exactly like we are, in the future! Face it, Jen! Your karma has gone from the lowest levels, since the days of Djengis Khan, to current-day Mother Theresa levels over these past weeks!" she quipped to a smiling Jen, who couldn't help but let a small giggle out.

"I see your point! You can't tell me that you didn't end up in a win-win situation either, though. If we forget about you getting put on academic probation, of course! And you can't call yourself an outsider anymore either! You're far too popular for that now!"

"Yeah, I guess so. I think that whole outsider thing went out of the window when some freshman girl, that I'd never talked to before, came over to me and asked if she should dump her cheating boyfriend!" she told Jen, recalling one of her favorite moments from the whole "Election Campaign" period.

"What did you tell her?" Jen asked.

"To dump that zero and find herself a hero, of course! Hey, here's a thought! Maybe, I could use some of that untapped wealth of potential to become the next Oprah?" she threw out there jokingly, drawing a laugh not just from Jen, but from a few of those surrounding them as well.

"If that's your plan, I guess that I'd better try my hardest to stay friends with you!" Jen laughingly replied, just before the two girls were handed their voters cards and did their little part, to take part in the democracy process at their school.

After Abby had pulled out of the election, there had been practically no competition left to stand against Mary-Beth, who'd been elected with over seventy percent of the votes. It had been the biggest landslide win in the school's history and Dawson couldn't help from feeling a little proud, that if it hadn't been for him putting the idea into her head, there was practically no chance that she would have run in the first place. He'd been with her, when the election results had been read out over the PA, and the ear-to-ear smile on her face, as she hugged him tightly and thanked him over and over again, he was sure would be one of those images, that would forever be burned into his brain for all of the right reasons.

After school, they'd had a small victory party down at The Ice House, attended by all of Mary-Beth's friends, nearly all of which he could claim that she had thanks to him. The more he thought about it, and perhaps as a way to soothe his guilt over his infidelity with Hannah, the more Mary-Beth had him to thank for. Then again, the only reason why he'd done those things for her, was because she'd made him want to, not like Hannah through threats and intimidation, but through her innate sweetness, that was also why his parents were so fond of her already.

They liked to joke that he was lucky, because he'd already met his future wife and when they did, he found it hard to disagree with them. Joey had for so long been the only girl in his life, that he'd learned to ignore all others of her gender and age, but in many ways, you could say that her and Pacey becoming a couple, had also been the best thing that had ever happened to himself, as well as it had for them. With Joey being distinctly off-limits and for the last two months also far away physically, it had opened up a new world of girls to him, that it would have taken much longer for him to begin exploring, had she still been there as an option for a girlfriend. He was missing her in many ways, if nothing else to provide him with a moral compass in his life, but now where he'd found out that life for him without her in it wasn't unbearable at all, she also wasn't the most important girl in his life anymore.

That honor belonged to a girl, who trusted him with all of her heart. It was just a crying shame for the both of them, that he wasn't deserving of that trust.

END OF CHAPTER THIRTY-SIX

Chapter Text

"Love me, love me

Say that you love me!

Fool me, fool me

Go on and fool me!

Love me, love me

Pretend that you love me!

Leave me, leave me

Just say that you need me!

I can´t care ´bout anything, but you"

THE CARDIGANS (From the album "First Band on the Moon" (1996))

Sent: March 12th, 1999

From: Jen Rocks

To: A Girl Named Joey

Subject: Boys and how they're driving me crazy!

Hi, Joey. Let me start by asking you a theoretical question. Are all boys emotionally stunted, or is it just the ones, I try to get it on with? I try my hardest, I really do, to try to get any information out of Jack, that could just give me the slightest pointer, if he wants to date or not, but so far, I've come up with absolutely Butkus for my efforts! Nada, nothing, zippo, squat! Argh, sometimes they can be so frustrating, you know? Hopefully, I'll be able to get my answer at the dance, or for as little as I'd like to, I might have to see if I can't find someone else to take his place. Which I don't want to, since I'm sure that him and I would be a cracking couple, but at the same time, it's been so long since I even kissed a guy, that I'm sure there are hermits, living far away from the rest of society, who still somehow get it on more often, than I do!

In other news, did I tell you in my last e-mail, that Chris Wolfe and Hannah Von Wenning are now an item and are flaunting it in front of everyone, like there's no tomorrow? I can easily see that it would be an advantage from his point of view, as a rather dumb guy, who just wants to get laid with any girl, who'll have him, but I can't help thinking to myself that she has some kind of nefarious ulterior motive, that'll be revealed to us sooner or later. Then again, maybe it's just because myself and Pacey have started watching the entire James Bond series at work! What do you think?

Still missing you!

Jen.

Sent: March 13th, 1999.

From: A Girl Named Joey

To: Jen Rocks

Subject: Those damned boys, huh?

Hi, Jen. I wish that I had some kind of words of wisdom, when it comes to what to do about Jack, but seeing as I haven't met him yet, it's kind of hard to come up with any on the fly here. My best advice would be to ask him and see how he reacts, just remember that this is advice coming from a girl, who completely lucked into her first and so far only relationship and before then, whose only romantic experiences extended to one kiss through a game of truth or dare and a snog (as Emma has told me that the English call kisses) with a boy, she'd lied her tiny, little butt off, to get that far with! In other words, don't take my advice as any kind of expert opinion, please!

Chris and Hannah, huh? They sound like a weird combination in my book, but then again, I can't say that I've known Hannah, since we were kids, so who am I to say that it can't work between them? And yes, I agree that you've probably been watching too many Bond movies with Pacey lately!

Still missing you too!

Joey.

Andie had, growing up in Providence, always believed that honesty was the best policy. She'd held onto this belief, right up until her older brother Tim had been taken from them in a tragic accident, and she'd had to start re-thinking how much information that it would be beneficial to her, that those around her knew. For example, having unreal visions of her older brother still being alive and talking to her, was one of those that she'd learned to keep to herself, while the things that she wouldn't be able to hide from her family anyway, like when she'd practically stop eating for days due to being stressed out, fell into the other category.

Her on-going crush on Pacey fell somewhere in the middle, even if she was sure that at least a few times, he must have picked up on the ever-growing crush, that she had him. It wasn't like she hadn't tried to move past it, and Ty had at first at least, seemed like a decent replacement for Pacey, he just didn't do it for her, the same way that her all-time favorite tutee could. Maybe, it was that Pacey had some sort of unexplainable X-Factor in abundance, that Ty had practically none of, or maybe it was simply that when you got down to it, Ty was (in spite of being more than adequate, when it came to the looks department) kind of a tedious bore, once you got past those good looks and started peering into what was underneath. On top of this, he was far too "Smalltown Minded" for her liking on some subjects, and she seriously had to wonder to herself, if it was something, she'd ever be able to look past.

He did have one large advantage over Pacey, and it was the sole reason why she was still considering going out with him, when she honestly couldn't see them lasting more than a few months at best, as a couple. He was single, and with that side of Pacey not looking it would change soon, if it ever would, and with the rest of the selection at their school not exactly being full of date worthy candidates, she still had to rate him as being "The Best of the Rest", for now at least.

"Isn't this the day of the big dance, you've been looking forward to for weeks?" her mom kindly asked her, while they were making breakfast together. Part of her mom's recovery was based around them doing the same things, they'd always used to do, when Tim was still alive, and ever since she'd been old enough to be able to lift a frying pan, she'd loved getting up early in the morning and by helping out with preparing breakfast, also getting some precious alone time with her mom, before the rest of the house began to wake up.

"One and the same! Can't wait for it!" she smilingly told her mom, who looked glad for her, even if she knew her daughter more than well enough, to be able to see past her fake smile.

"Do you think that is Pacey looking forward to it, as much, as you are?" her mom inquired, before taking a sip of her morning coffee.

"Probably not. I bet that he wishes, he could go with his real girlfriend and not just the best substitute, he could find for her" she replied sadly, seeing as the chance of getting her boy that evening seemed about as likely, as her dear mother suddenly getting over the grief of losing her first-born in an instant, just because Andie, her dad and her brother all desperately hoped, that she would.

"It doesn't mean that you can't still have a great time with him. When I think back to being your age, none of the dates I took to school dances ended up being the romance of a lifetime either, and either way, you're all still only in the beginning of that long process of finding out, who you are. I wouldn't give up on him just yet, if I were you" her mom tried consoling her, and it did help a little bit.

"Thanks for trying to cheer me up, but you don't know him the way, I do. There isn't a snowball's chance inside of a volcano in full eruption mode, that I'm getting a goodnight kiss tonight, and that's just how it is!"

"In that case, maybe you should try seeing it as an advantage".

"How do you figure?"

"If dates at school dances are still more or less the same, as they were, when I was around your age, most of those with dates will be so nervous at trying to impress those dates, that they won't have the time to enjoy the other things, you can do at high school dances".

"You've seen me dance, mom! It isn't like anyone there will be forming circles around me and clapping along, while I bust out my latest break-dancing moves!" she joked, albeit with a hint of truth to what she'd said at the same time.

"We can take a simple thing like having fun with your friends, just to name one. If you put that big mind of yours to work on it, I'm sure that you could come up with a few more ideas, just off the top of your head" her sweet old mom, like the near-eternal force of positivity that she'd been in Andie and Jack's lives, from the time that they were born, suggested. "Speaking of dates for the dance, do you think this could be the day, where your dad and I finally get ourselves a new daughter-in-law?"

"I am hoping so, just as much as you are! You know that I love my twin brother as much as the day is long, but why he hasn't made his move on her yet, when Jen is SO obviously the best girlfriend, he could possibly find here or anywhere else, is the kind of mystery, where I think that we'll have to call in Sherlock Holmes, Nancy Drew, Miss Marple AND the Hardy Boys, if we're going to solve it!" she quipped to her mom, who couldn't help smiling to herself.

"You don't think that it could be a case of also having too many cooks in the kitchen at once?" her mom quipped back at her.

"Probably. I just don't understand him at all sometimes, when it comes to his choice of girls. Remember his date with that girl, who clearly wasn't over her ex-boyfriend and got back together with him, the day after Jack and her had gone out on their date? It as if he picks the girls, he has the least chance of lasting with, while the girls that he should be asking out, get to watch him from the sidelines, failing over and over again, with what clearly to everyone else than him, are the wrong girls for him! Honestly mom, if he didn't have me to help him with sorting out the worst of them, there's no telling what sort of girl, he'd be bringing home for dinner!" she half-jokingly explained.

Moments later, she could hear the door to her brother's room opening upstairs, signaling to her that he'd soon be coming down to join them.

"You're forgetting that there's a rational explanation for all of it" her mom whispered to her.

"What's that?" she whispered back.

"He's a teenage boy!" her mom dryly whispered, and they shared a small laugh, just as Jack came into the kitchen, rubbing his belly and looking ready for his (sometimes rather incredible) food intake in the morning, that was rarely less, than what her and her mom would eat between the two of them. It often made her and her mom wonder to themselves, how he could keep on eating that much and never put any visible weight on, when he should have ballooned up to two hundred pounds plus by now, according to all logic.

"What's so funny at this time in the morning? All I feel is tired, like I haven't slept at all!" he yawningly got out, before slumping down on a chair, by the kitchen table.

"Nothing that a boy would understand!" Andie cheekily answered him, before sharing a knowing smile with her mother.

Another girl, who'd been looking forward to this day for weeks with a belly full of anticipation was Jen, who for once had actually been something close to fresh as a daisy, from the moment she'd opened her eyes. Going by her own standards at least, seeing as it usually took a minimum of two cups of "Good Morning, America" (the only coffee strong enough to wake up a hibernating bear, according to their TV ads!) and a hot shower to cap her morning routine off, before she'd even begun to catch her bearings.

No matter what happened at that dance, she would try to find out exactly where she stood with Jack. It wasn't like she couldn't respect or understand, that he was still in the beginning stages of a grieving process, over tragically losing an older brother, who'd meant the world to him. Or, for that matter, that his mom's mental illness was something far beyond her own understanding and something, where she'd come to conclude, that unless you were being forced to live with it up in your face constantly, like they were, wasn't a thing that you could fully understand. Even with her limited understanding of these things, she was well aware (mostly from talking to Grams, who knew far more about losing loved ones, than she herself did) that getting over such a thing is very likely to take years, not weeks or months, to recover from (if you ever do). If that saddening part of his life wasn't constantly nagging him, she'd have had to consider him abnormal, all things considered and whether or not they wound up going on a second date, she'd still try to help both him and his sister to get back to some kind of normal life again, in any way that she could. Now, where she'd started caring that much about and for them, it almost went without saying.

It had even (in some small way) been nice to hear, when he'd told her that he wanted to show devotion to his ex-girlfriend, by not just jumping straight from one girl's bed to the next (like she could guess that many boys his age would have, without thinking twice about it). Him saying so had only proved to her, that he wasn't some womanizing dog, who'd sleep with her and dump her in the worst way possible the day after, the way that all of her first three lovers had done. In the sob story case of the guy she'd given her cherry to, she'd arrived at school the day after, just in time to see his merry re-union with his ex-girlfriend, leaving her feeling like a used-up fool for thinking, that he'd actually meant it, when he'd convinced her emotionally fragile and very high younger self, that he liked her, so much more than any of the other girls.

Those sorts of bad boys, were what her former self had gone after and it had only (without fault) led to a soul-crushing mix of heartbreak and self-loathing every time, she'd gotten it on with one of them. This was yet another reason why Jack, with his distinctly anti-bad boy and very shy personality, was exactly the sort of kind-hearted boy, that she needed to restore her faith in his entire gender, if she wasn't going to end up as a bitter old spinster like her aunt Hilda, who only saw faults in everyone, especially men and as a result, never gave any of them a fighting chance, to change her mind on them.

Of course, that was only one side of it and the other side of it, that he was being so incredibly frustrating, when it came to keeping her in the dark about his actual feelings for her, annoyed the living heck out of Jen and she wasn't afraid to admit it!

"Don't you sometimes wish that boys came with subtitles, that say what they really mean, when they give you a compliment?" she casually asked Abby, while she was waiting for her friend to get some books from her locker.

"Like women are any better, when it comes to making underhanded comments? Let's be real here, Jen!" Abby sharply answered, before sighing to herself at not being able to find the book she needed, in the masses of cluttered mess inside of her locker. "How's this for a lesson in cleaning out your locker more than once every six months?"

"That'll teach you! You're right though, when it comes us women and underhanded comments. Come to think of it, I don't think that my aunt Hilda ever gave anyone a compliment, where there wasn't some tiny little bit of criticism, she had to throw in there right at the end! It's probably why no one could stand the sight of her, and her funeral turned into more of a celebration of none of us having to ever see her anymore, than the sob-fest, she would have wanted it to be. That horrible, old banshee just couldn't stand seeing anyone having a good time, no matter what the reason for it was".

"What a truly fascinating story, Jen!" Abby sarcastically remarked, before smiling to herself at the sight of the book, she was looking for. Even if it meant that she had to rearrange most of her other junk in there, so she could reach it. "Disco!"

"Someone watched Pulp Fiction yesterday?"

"Only for the sixth time! It's just so good, that movie! Anyway, you were saying about boys and wishing, that they came with subtitles?" Abby answered, as she tried to wrestle the book free with brute strength. The problem there of course being, that with her only weighing around ninety pounds on a good day, the last thing she had, was any kind of brute strength to speak of!

"Maybe, we should try doing an experiment" she thought out loud, as she saw Pacey coming down the hallway towards them.

"Hi, girls!" he greeted them good morning with a small, but slightly tired looking smile. "Abby, wouldn't it be easier to just clean out your locker of all of that junk, and not have to go through this routine of looking through all of it to find your books, ten times a week, minimum?"

"Logic would suggest so, wouldn't it?" Abby, who'd been too busy trying to get to her book, to pay any real attention to what he'd said, casually replied to him in her best smart-ass fashion.

"Pacey, let me try something out on you. If a boy tells a girl that she has a pretty face, but doesn't mention her body, what's he really saying?" she asked a grinning Pacey, who seemed willing to play along and be her "Test Subject".

"That her body is so unappealing to him, that it's why he doesn't want to date her. Unless we're talking about the I'd guess, twenty to thirty percent of the boys here, who'll make out with just about anything with a pair of a X-chromosomes and isn't so young, that it would be illegal to do stuff with her or is old enough to be their mom. Let's do a little "Quid Pro Quo" here, shall we, Agent Lindley?" he asked her back, just as Abby finally succeeded in her "mission" and looked all kinds of pleased, that she'd once again (for a few hours at least), managed to fool the Gods of cleaning up after yourself.

"Fire away" she answered him.

"If a girl says that she's fine with just being friends, but you get a distinct feeling that she's undressing you with her eyes, practically every time you're together, what are her real ... intentions, I guess is the word, I'm looking for?"

"Is this about you and Andie?" Abby asked him, butting into the conversation, like she was often prone to do, even if it wasn't a subject being discussed that interested her, in the same way this one did.

"I was asking Jen, if you don't mind?" Pacey scolded Abby, who was far too busy fighting to close up her locker again, just enough to make it lockable, to pay any attention to his annoyed looks.

"She wants to do it with you, and either is afraid to admit it to herself, or she has admitted it to herself and is probably pleasing herself to the thought of doing it with you, at least twice a day! In some ways we're basically all the same!" Jen explained to him, getting a small giggle from Abby in the process. "My turn. If a guy says that we wants to get together with you, but there are things getting in the way of it ..."

"Like?"

"A family crisis or his ex-girlfriend, that he needs time to get over, before he's ready to start something new up?" she tried slyly asking Pacey, hoping that she wasn't giving away too easily, whom she was referring to.

"As far as I know, no family crisis has lasted forever, but family stuff is a very personal thing to most people. If it were me, I definitely wouldn't ask further into it, unless it's himself, who brings it up. All I can tell you is that if you're crushing on a guy, who's going through some tough stuff, the only thing, you can do is hope that whatever is going wrong in his life, gets sorted out quickly. The old "Not Over the Ex" line could be interpreted a few ways. My first thought is that he still hopes to get back together with her. In which case, I'd tell you to let him sort things out with his ex, before you start looking his way again".

"Not that it takes a rocket scientist to figure out! What if you'd consider it highly unlikely?"

"In that case, you have three likely scenarios. One: He's telling the truth and like myself, if me and Joey ever were to break up, he wouldn't feel like it was proper for any of us, to move on too quickly. Guys like us do exist in high school, Lindley, in spite of all myths to the contrary!"

"He said, not tooting his own horn at all!" Abby teasingly just had to chime in with!

"Did anyone ask for further comments from the cheap seats, Miss Morgan?" he (once again) scolded Abby, who replied to this scolding by sticking her tongue out at him, much like an annoyed five-year-old, who isn't getting their way would have. "If he isn't telling the truth, you're down to two options: He either has a crush on someone else, or he just isn't into you that way. Is that a good enough answer?"

It wasn't. Until she could get the info, that she wanted from the horse's mouth itself though, she'd unfortunately have to make do with it.

Andie, even if she prided herself on being "The Most Attentive Student" in every single one of her classes, for once found her mind being too cluttered with unwanted thoughts, to properly keep up in her gifted student classes, that she took in the morning, before she joined her brother and the rest of her "Not So Gifted" students for the rest of the day.

Sex, in Andie's eyes, was a double-edged sword. A few years earlier, when she was thirteen, her then-BFF and neighbor Kate (the same one, who would later become her brother's first girlfriend) had brought a couple of dirty magazines over to their house, that she'd stolen from her (by then in college) older brother's room. Andie could still remember like it was yesterday, how a new world full of things that people could do naked together, had opened up for her that afternoon and how later that evening, had also been when she'd made her first attempts at giving herself the kind of orgasms, she'd seen the girls in those magazines looking as if, they were experiencing. Not that she'd entirely gotten there that first time, but it had still been more than pleasurable enough, that it quickly became a going to bed ritual for her.

As you could almost guess, Kate's mom had, not long after, caught her daughter red-handed, doing the exact same thing to one of those magazines and (after what Kate had told her was a VERY uncomfortable mother/daughter conversation!) more or less immediately, they'd (to Kate's brother's enormous disappointment, no doubt) ended their lives full of urging people to touch themselves, in a humble trash can out by the street.

Still, there was no doubt that it had led to the beginnings of a sexual awakening, for the at that time, only barely teenaged version of herself. Now, where she'd had a few more years to mature both emotionally and physically, and with her natural instincts (no matter how much she tried to ignore them) practically yelling into her ear every second, that it was time try some of those "Naked Activities" for herself, it however, also made her status as perpetually single all that more annoying. The fact that she still couldn't say that she'd had boyfriend number one or could even say that she'd had anything resembling a really successful date so far, were all facts that spoke volumes, when it came to how much of a romantic wasteland, her existence on Earth had been so far in the fifteen years, that had gone by of it. As for how far she'd gone with a boy, she was still waiting in vain for anyone other than herself to round first base and just as sadly, so far, the only close thing to a good kiss that she'd experienced, was her first kiss, and even that was mostly because she was simply so overjoyed, that any sort of romantic action was finally happening for her.

She couldn't say what it was about Pacey, that made him all that different from any of the many other nice guys, she'd met over the years. The only conclusion that she could come to, was that he had some sort of unseen X-Factor, that drew troubled girls to him, like they were a starving group of bear cubs circulating an appetizing looking salmon, that's been dumb enough to jump out of the water and land on the shore. Joey certainly (from everything that she'd been told about her) fit that description to a T, and as for herself (arguably the most troubled girl in their entire town), she'd found herself feeling drawn towards him, practically from the first second, she'd laid eyes on him. Whenever she found herself with a head filled of erotic fantasies about him (a near hourly occurrence), they would always be about him being the perfect ultra-gentle lover for a nervous girl like herself, who was on the verge of giving him the biggest present that she could to a boy, her precious virginity. If she had to be honest, right at this time there weren't any other guys, that she could even remotely imagine going all the way with, not even some of those stars from the early or pre-teen marketed shows on the Disney Channel, who'd made up her first faint crushes, long before the topic of sex had reached her young mind.

Most of all, there was also a great fear inside of her, that if she didn't do it with the right guy, this first time at least, it would be something that she'd regret for the rest of her life. To hold up hope that Pacey would have her, or find someone else to have sex with, there-in laid her double-edged sword.

If only he didn't have a girlfriend, things would be so much easier ...

Jen's school day had, to her own personal joy, passed by in what had felt a few hours, at the most. Even the often-questionable food in the cafeteria had tasted better, than it usually did (not that it took all that much!), and in what was an even rarer occurrence for her, there hadn't been a single person all day, who'd done the tiniest thing, to get her blood boiling. With Chris now giving her the cold shoulder (like she knew that she thoroughly deserved, after how she'd told him off in the worst way possible, the last time he'd tried to ask her out), it also meant that her near-daily ritual of turning him down was a thing of the past. Even if she still didn't have the first clue, what a (for all of her general bitchiness and obvious faults) clearly very intelligent girl like Hannah could possibly see in a guy, who thinks that glancing through the articles in Playboy and not just gawking at the naked girls, makes him more sophisticated than their average reader.

Probably due to her still guilty conscience, she tried to be glad for him, that he at least had a great chance of getting some pillow fun with a love-starved rich girl like Hannah out of it, and in addition, was surely scoring some much-needed suck-up points with his parents, for dating one of the main heirs to the Von Wenning family fortune. A stark contrast to his failed attempts at hitting on herself, that had ended with him being ridiculed in front of an entire hallway full of his peers.

"Penny for your thoughts, dear?" Grams smilingly asked her, while they were looking through some old boxes from the basement, one of which according to her grandmother's memory should contain a very old dress, that she'd worn to one of her own school dances, back in near-ancient times, when she was around Jen's age. Not that Jen had thought about it, but she must not have said anything for a while, since Grams would ask her that way.

"Would you believe that I have boys on the brain again? Dear Joan Jett is there any way that I can be more of a boring old cliché?" she blurted out and Grams could help herself from laughing.

"Jennifer, in spite of how adult you think you are, you're still only fifteen. Calling yourself a cliche this early in life is a more than a little premature, don't you think?" Grams asked back, making her smile to herself.

"You always know just what so say, Grams! Why can't my life be a Meg Ryan movie?" she asked rhetorically, while opening another box to look through. "Every movie that I've seen with her, she plays basically the same love-hungry girl every time, who can't find the right guy and just when everything looks the most hopeless for her, into her life comes the man of her dreams. Circa an hour and a half of mostly amusing romantic entanglements later and presto! She has her man, and they live happily ever after!"

"Sweetheart, even you have to know that life isn't like the movies".

"I know, but ... what do you mean, even me? Don't you think I'm intelligent? No wait, don't answer that!"

"You're intelligent in your own way, Jennifer! I didn't mean it that way. However, there are many ways of being intelligent and some of them don't come along, until you have life experience to draw on. Even with everything you've tried back in New York, where it counts inside, you're still only a child and children make mistakes. Especially, when it comes to their first adventures in the ways of love" Grams, in her own very grand-motherly way, explained to her.

"Can I ask you something?"

"You can try" Grams answered, before she too shifted from the box she was looking through, to one of the many, that they still hadn't gotten to yet.

"Say that there was this guy, who's kind of been bugging you. Maybe, bugging you isn't the right term, but he's asked you out several times and he's refused to take no for an answer every time".

"I'm following you so far" Grams, only half paying attention to what she was saying, replied.

"Well, now that boy has found a girlfriend and I ... oh, screw it! I'll just tell it like it is! There's this boy named Chris at school and he's dumb as a doorknob, not to mention that he's a jock, and you know how I feel about their obnoxious cult and their followers, and ..."

"You still find yourself attracted to him?" Grams, with a small knowing smile, asked.

"It's not so much that I find myself being attracted to him, as just me finding myself being unbelievably jealous of his girlfriend, now that he's found one! As in the "I want to tear the hair off her head and tell her to get her dirty paws off of him" variety! I guess, what I'm asking is, am I acting completely crazy here?"

"You're not crazy, dear child!" Grams told her with a reassuring smile. "You're just fifteen, that's all!"

"Fifteen in all of the worst ways, is more like it! Maybe, it's because I haven't gotten anywhere with Jack yet, or for that matter seen any kind of action, since I broke up with Dawson last fall. I mean, what other earthly logical explanation would there be why I, and I honestly never thought I'd hear myself saying these words, am wishing that it were me, holding his hand and flirting with him, while we walk down the hallway together? We'd make for an awful couple, I just know it!" Jen exclaimed and once again, Grams had to laugh a little at her granddaughter's outbursts.

"Do you know who all of my friends, when I was your age, thought the same of? Your Grandfather".

"You and Granddad weren't always seen as the perfect couple?" Jen had to ask, seeing as such a thing was practically unthinkable to her.

"Far from it! Some of my friends and some of his had a pool going on how long we would last. From what I was told later on, none of them thought that we would last more than a few weeks. Even on our wedding day, believe it or not, one of my best friends tried to talk me out of marrying him, because she still refused to believe that we stood a chance of lasting the distance".

"I guess, you proved them wrong, huh?" Jen asked, while she had to smile to herself, as she imagined her grandparents as a pair of young lovers, defying everyone's expectations every step of the way.

"Sure did. Love is a hard thing to explain and who works best in a relationship with which other person, is something that you simply can't be sure of, until it's been tried. I've seen more than my share of couples, that you wouldn't think would last a week, last a lifetime and literally dozens of couples, where it looked going in like they were meant for one another, not even make it through the first month. Just because you and Jack have more in common, than you do on the surface with this Chris boy, doesn't automatically mean that Jack's the best choice, when it comes to who the best boyfriend for you would be. Perhaps, and it's only me speculating here, but perhaps it's that you already know deep down that Chris is someone, you could possibly see yourself with, that's why your mind is playing tricks on you. Your own reservations on the subject notwithstanding, of course. Ah, here it is!" Grams exclaimed, before pulling a simple, yet very elegant light-blue dress out of the box, that in Jen's opinion looked more like the kind that a Greta Garbo, Marilyn Monroe or one of the other perfectly shaped starlets from the golden age of Hollywood should be wearing, than a girl whose still developing body full of imperfections, wouldn't come close to filling it out, the way it was intended to.

"It's beautiful, but I can't wear it to the dance, Grams! For one thing, I don't have anywhere close to the needed cleavage to fill it out and ..."

"You're talking nonsense, Jennifer! It'll look gorgeous on you, I'm sure of it" Grams re-assured her, before taking a whiff of the dress. "After I've given it a good rinse!"

In that moment, all Jen could think of was ways to get out of wearing it. After Grams was done rinsing and drying it, though, she had to admit that it looked pretty damn good on herself and completely unlike how she felt about the hated dresses, still in her closet back in her old home, that her parents would force her to wear for their chosen social functions, wearing this dress and looking this feminine in it didn't feel nearly as un-natural to her, as it had, when she'd put on one of her old ones and felt like a total faker from the time she'd put it on, until it had blissfully come off again.

Would the sight of her in it be enough to allow her to seduce Jack and finally get her the smooches, that she craved from him, though? Only time would tell and the clock that was telling her that time, was ticking down awfully fast.

END OF CHAPTER THIRTY-SEVEN

Chapter Text

"We don't have to take our clothes off

To have a good time, oh, no

We could dance and party all night

And drink some cherry wine, uh-huh?"

JERMAINE STEWART (From the album "Frantic Romantic" (1986))

Sent: March 16th, 1999

From: Jen Rocks

To: A Girl Named Joey

Subject: The dance.

Hi, Joey. I can already guess that you're waiting excitedly for the low down, on what went down at the dance, so I'd better fill you in!

We started our evening at the Ice House ...

"Jen, I've never met a girl like you before. You're warm and sweet, like no one else, and with the exception of my sister, I've ... I probably shouldn't bring Andie into it! Okay, let's try this again!" Jack told himself, while he was practicing in front of the mirror, how to break the news to Jen that evening, that for as much as he'd become fond of that awesome girl from New York (which admittedly, was a heck of a lot!), there was a very good reason, why he couldn't date her.

"Who are you talking to, Jack?" he heard his sister say through the door to their bathroom, which he was already well aware, that he'd been occupying for too long, especially considering that his twin sister had her own big date, to get ready for.

"No one, Andie! I'll be out in a moment" he quickly replied to her and for as little as he liked to, he had to admit to himself, that when the time to come clean came, he'd probably have to wing it and just hope that his date for the evening wouldn't be a slobbering mess, after he was done with his "confessional".

"Well, get out of there! I have to pee really bad, and I can't wait any longer!" Andie complained loudly and with such an emergency on his sister's hands, all he could do was unlock the door for her. Moments later, his flustered looking sister came rushing in.

"Unless you're ready to see a whole lot more of me, than I have a feeling that you'd like to, I suggest that you move your butt out of here right away!" she told him off, as she hurried over to the toilet and began pulling her pants down.

"I have more than my share of issues, as it is!" he darkly joked to Andie, before leaving her to do her business.

What he'd kept telling himself over the past two weeks, since he'd asked Jen to the dance, was that it was only this first time, where coming out to someone would be this troublesome. That once he got this highly dreaded "virgin run" out of the way, it would be so much easier to come out to firstly his sister, followed by his other friends and eventually in time, his parents and the rest of their family. In that sense too, he knew that he couldn't have found anyone better to come out to first, than a girl like Jen, whom he was sure wouldn't become angry and in the worst case, out him to everyone else (until he was ready for it, at least). He'd heard and read stories about it happening and how the ones, who'd been outed, in some cases had become hunted prey by the moralistic masses, leading to them becoming outcasts and in the most tragic cases, going so far as taking their own lives, thanks to the hatred becoming too much to deal with. While he couldn't in his wildest imagination see himself taking it that far, as someone who'd always preferred to blend into the background, the last thing he wanted was to be known as "The Only Gay Guy in School" and having to carry the stigmas that came with it everywhere he went, until high school came to an end, at the least.

It almost went without saying that he'd rather have avoided having to turn down Jen at all, and in fleeting thoughts now and then, he'd actually gone so far, as to consider trying to convince her to enter into a "Fake Relationship", just so that his classmates (like he'd already overheard a few of them do) wouldn't be logically asking themselves why a boy, who was well above average in the looks department, wasn't using those looks to have plenty of girls lining up around the block, to try to get a date with him. Having a girlfriend (even a fake one) would quell those rumors in an instant. The only fault with that plan, was that he wasn't sure if he was humanly capable of doing anything that could remotely hurt Jen, and that if he (even unknowingly) did so, it would no doubt stick to his conscience for years, even in the best-case scenario.

Had he only been straight, then he probably would have been looking forward to this day as the highlight of his life so far. As things stood, he was dreading it more, than anything else in his life.

Pacey, when it came to getting advice, had a number of sources to go to, depending on what his imminent problem was. If he'd gotten a stain on his shirt, for example, his first thought would be to go to his mom. A woman, who still hadn't met a stain, that she in her stubbornness in getting rid of it, hadn't gotten the better of in the end. If there was some piece of movie trivia, that he'd forgotten and it was bugging him, he had the walking movie encyclopedia known as Dawson, who in ninety-nine percent of cases had the needed info, hidden somewhere in the back on his mind. For advice on girls, his favorite choices (with Joey not being available at this time) were either Jen, or alternatively his older sister Gretchen, depending on what the exact issue consisted of. What he needed now, on the other hand, was a Bonafide expert when it came to repelling girls, and with his brother never having had a girlfriend, he figured that there wasn't a bigger master on the subject anywhere in the world. Plus, as an added bonus of course, it also gave Pacey yet another chance to tease the living hell of out of his brother!

"Doug, I'm begging on my crying knees here! Tell me your secret, when it comes to becoming resistible to every female, walking the earth right now!" he jokingly said to his brother, who'd come over to their mom's house to do his laundry, and wasn't finding his joke funny in the slightest.

"Very funny, Pace! Doug is gay, ha, ha! Doesn't it bother you at all, that I'm not?" Doug annoyedly answered him, while staring at his clothing spinning around inside of the washing machine.

"I think, we can all agree that it's still up for debate! Come on, Doug! No man has that many Streisand CDs in his collection, without having to ask himself some serious questions!" he couldn't help himself from teasing his older brother, who gave him a glare that told him to lay off it, since he wasn't in the mood. Not that he ever was, mind you.

"And what does that noise, you like to listen to, say about you?"

"If you're referring to my love of Skynyrd, you should know that referring to the greatest band of all time as being noise, is a direct equivalent to musical sacrilege! Doug, please! I need your help here!"

"If you lay off the gay jokes, I can try to help. Don't, and I'll have to chase you out of your own house again!" Doug answered, like he meant it. The look that the brothers shared between them, put the matter to rest.

"How do you do it, Doug? I mean, for as little as I'd like to admit it, it isn't like you're ugly or anything like that!"

"Your point being?"

"That in a town, where every available bachelor your age has been snapped up long ago, it's seriously like something out of the X-Files, that you've never even had a girlfriend! My only conclusion ..."

"This I have to hear!" Doug interrupted, before rolling his eyes.

"Is that you must unknowingly be transmitting some kind of vibe out, that sends every female creature running away from you, rather than to you! Teach me, Mr. Miyagi, so I can go to that dance tonight and I won't wind up making out with my date and ruining my relationship with Joey!" he got down on his knees and half-way quipped to Doug, who just shook his head to himself, at his pleas.

"Let me ask you, Pacey. Do you want to make out with this girl, you're going on a date with?"

"No, which is why I asked her to go with me as friends and nothing else, I swear! Only ..."

"She wants to be more than friends?"

"I'm strongly getting that feeling, yes. It isn't like I've done anything to lead her on, not knowingly, anyway, it's just ... my raw sexual magnetism, that's been putting ideas in her head, I suppose!" he confided to his brother, who for once in a rare while let out a small laugh.

"Your ... raw sexual magnetism aside, wouldn't it be easier to go with the most logical explanation?"

"Which is?"

"That what she's picked up on, is that you're a nice guy and that's it. Granted, it's been a while since I was your age, and I can't claim to ever have been a girl your age ..."

"Again, something that's debatable! Sorry, I'll stop now! It's become like a natural reflex, I can help it!" he explained to an annoyed looking Doug, who in turn stared him directly into the eyes.

"Do you want my advice or not?"

"I said that I'm sorry, okay? Help me, Obi-Wan Kenobi! You're my only hope!" he quoted princess Leia from the first Star Wars movie, while mimicking Carrie Fisher's body language from the scene in question. It only succeeded in drawing yet another headshake from his older brother.

"Now I'm Obi-Wan Kenobi, huh? What I was saying, before you had to be an obnoxious smart-ass for the tenth trillionth time, was that if you ask me, what she's picking on is simply that you're a naturally born and bred nice guy and someone, who wouldn't dream doing anything to hurt her. Like it or not, Pacey. That's a fact about yourself, it's impossible to deny, even if you can be a royal pain sometimes!"

"You could be right. What if I tried behaving like a total jerk towards her tonight? Could that work?"

"I've never met the girl in question, or seen you act since that 3rd grade school play, and even I can already tell you, that if she has half a brain, she'll see right through your act!" Doug sharply answered and was probably right.

"Unfortunately for me, she pretty much only takes advance classes in school".

"In which case, I'd definitely tell you to come up with a plan B. You can call it "The Curse of Being Nice", if you want to, but being as kind as you are, and far more caring towards the needs of others, than most boys your age are, is by a long way your most admirable quality. Of course, It's a shame for all of us, that you don't have more than one, but that's another matter! From what I remember, it's also a quality that's in extremely high demand among fifteen-year-old girls, that are on the lookout for a boyfriend" Doug explained and to some extent at least, what he'd said made sense to Pacey.

"Talk about being cursed! Why is it that when I didn't have a girlfriend, there wasn't a single girl in town, who would touch me with a pitchfork, and now, when I don't want them to, I have too many of them wanting to hook up with me?" he sighingly asked his brother, who just smiled at his question.

"That's a question, I'm guessing that men have asked themselves since the dawn of time, and the truth is that we still don't have an answer for it. What I can tell you for sure, is that if you plan on staying with Joey until you're old and grey, then this won't be close to the only time, where you'll have to tell some girl, that you can only be friends with her. If you want to put a positive spin on it, you can see this evening as helpful practice for your future" Doug explained and for a short moment, the two brothers actually shared a nice little moment of understanding between them.

Was it as easy as simply telling Andie, that he could only be friends with her and that was as far, as it would ever be likely to advance to between them? All Pacey could say, was that he hoped to his bones, that it would be.

Before the dance, they'd all agreed to meet up at the Ice House, since it was only a ten-minute walk away from the school and with it being one of the busiest days of the week at the restaurant, Abby would be heading straight from her job as a waitress, to the dance that awaited them. With Andie being the sort of person, to whom being the slightest bit late for anything is considered a disaster, the two of them had arrived in good time and with all of the dancing they were likely to do that evening, the siblings used the opportunity to have a short sit-down over a soda, while they waited for the rest of their party to start arriving.

The first couple to make their appearance (with the exception of Abby, who was busy serving tables at a break-neck speed), were the happy couple themselves, Dawson and Mary-Beth, who (aside from looking very quietly pretty, now that she was all dressed up) had the same constantly plastered on smile, that she'd had on every time that he'd seen her, since she'd become the youngest student body president at Capeside High in over forty years, at the election a week earlier. To Jack (and pretty much everyone else, from what he could tell), if there was one boy/girl coupling at his school that made perfect sense, it was those two. One part of it was that both of them were kind of shy and a more than a little bookish, but it was just as much that whenever you saw them talking, it was like they were off in their own little world full of teenage infatuation for one another, where every cloud was fluffy and pink, and nothing could ever come between them. The truth, as he was well aware, probably wasn't that simple and if they didn't argue at least a little here and there, it probably would have been un-natural. Still, if there was one couple at their school, that he'd be willing to put money on getting married someday, it would surely be those two young lovers.

They wouldn't have to wait more than a minute or two for the next arrival, that being Pacey, who'd been given a lift by his brother Doug, in his brother's police cruiser. He'd only met Doug once and you couldn't say that it had been the best of first introductions (seeing as Doug was more concerned with scolding his little brother for yet another thing, Pacey had done wrong, than engaging in pleasantries), but Pacey had assured him that his brother wasn't like that all of the time, just most of it and could on the rare occasion, show himself to be the kind of caring brother, that any guy would be lucky to have. One thing that Jack could easily tell, whenever Pacey talked about his siblings, was that in their own special way, they were almost as close, as he himself was with his sister. Speaking of his sister, he could have sworn that he'd practically seen her jaw drop, at the sight of Pacey in the used, but quite stylish suit, that he'd bought for thirty-two bucks their local Blue Cross, a few days earlier (something that Jack knew all about, since Jen had gone there with Pacey as his "Fashion Advisor"). To be honest, it felt a little strange to him, seeing Pacey wearing anything aside from his usual "As Casual, As Can Be, Wear", and seeing him in fancy wear would take some getting used to, no doubt. To himself however, all that mattered was if his sister was pleased with how her date looked and that, she clearly was in abundance! So much, in fact, that she nearly knocked their sodas over, when she got up from her seat to greet her date, and he had to quickly scramble, or their beverages would have wound up on the floor.

Melissa and Jen were the last to arrive, after having used the early part of the evening for some "sisterly" bonding, while they got ready for the dance together. During Jack's time in our great, big world up to this point, he'd seen many attractive girls his own age and even gone on dates with a few of them, before Kate (who hadn't been a slouch in the looks department either) had managed to snatch him up and become his first and so far, only girlfriend. Jen, in her elegant dress and made up to look like a million bucks, put all of them to shame and he could only imagine, that he would be sure to get a plethora of jealous looks that evening from other guys, who weren't lucky enough to be there with someone as stunning looking, as his own private fairy-tale princess was. Not that Melissa didn't look all kinds of pretty either (Abby clearly thought so!), but in all fairness, even the highest paid Super-Model would have looked common and plain, compared to his date for the evening.

"Do you like how I look?" Jen very cutely and nervously asked him, while they were waiting alone outside for Abby to change into her dress for the dance, and the rest of their party were indulging in the first tasting of a small "Party Snack Creation", that Bodie and Bessie were using the occasion to try out on them.

"Let me put it this way: You should prepare yourself for getting more than your share of jealous stares from the other girls tonight, and it won't have the slightest thing to do with how good I look on your arm" he told her honestly, trying to praise how she looked, while at the same time carefully not giving off any indications, that he wanted to get with her.

If it worked or not, was hard to say, but she looked overjoyed at his praise, so that was at least something.

"You don't look all that shabby yourself! I should warn you in advance, though. I know a grand total of three dance moves, and I can only do one of them fairly well!" she jokingly told him, before doing a comedic demonstration and them sharing a small, albeit clearly also very nervous, laugh over it.

"Trust me, Jen! By the end of this evening, it'll be you feeling sorry for me, for looking like I was born with two left feet!" he joked back, getting yet another incredibly adorable smile out of her.

If only there hadn't been that tiny thing known as his sexuality getting in the way, it would have been so easy to see himself starting a family with this gorgeous girl, after they'd dated throughout the rest of high school (and all of college of course), before they tied the knot in front of all of their friends and family, with all of them telling them stuff like "It was about time" and asking them, if it wasn't time to put some work into a "Family Extension". He could just imagine Andie and his mom crying happy tears in the front row of the church, as himself and his bride said their "I do's" to each other. To put the cherry on the Sundae, his dad would congratulate him on choosing the perfect girl, before they shook hands and agreed to let the past be the past. After they'd had that perfect wedding day, Jen and himself would live happily together forever more, raising a whole litter of kids, that they could use their life's wisdom to steer in the right direction, while at the same time also working hard for themselves, so that when the kids had left home, they could just enjoy life, however much of it was left by that point.

Would his family be as happy for him, if the one he was getting married to was named Ethan, Darryl, or Mark, and there wasn't a bride at the wedding, only two grooms? It was hard for him, to see his dad fully accepting it, when he thought back to various more or less bigoted comments about gays, that his dad had uttered in the past, and to his mom, this would mean that he couldn't give her any biological grandchildren. With Andie, after having gone through her own personal hell in that looney bin for several months, being understandably scared of passing her mental illness down to her possible children, Tim not being with them anymore and it being unthinkable, that his parents would have any late runts of the litter, it was likely up to him, to continue their family lineage (in a biological sense, at least), if it wasn't to completely die out.

No one knew all of this better than Jack, and as he stood there smiling back at a girl, that it was like had practically been made, so that they could end up together, it was with a head full of conflict and an unmistakable feeling, that when the time came to come clean to her about being gay, he would chicken out, like he usually did. Worst of all, he was also pretty sure, that if she tried to put the moves on him, he would have to fight an almost impossible internal fight not to want to kiss her back.

"Mmm! What is it?" a still chewing Pacey asked Bodie, who was introducing them to what clearly were the next generation, when it comes to party snacks!

"It's ..." Bodie was just about to reply, when his fiancée butted in.

"A true magician never reveals his secrets! Does he, Pacey?" Bessie both answered and asked him, as if the fact that the tray of "Whatever it Was's" had been emptied in no time, wasn't answer enough for her!

"Not if he's a good magician" he joked back, as Bessie gave him a silent signal to follow her out to the kitchen. As he followed after her, he already had a sense of what was coming.

"Does my little sister know that you're out on a date tonight?" Bessie accusingly asked him, like only she could, putting every cop character ever written to shame, with how intimidating, she could be.

"She's a hundred percent okay with it, I assure you, Bessie! If she hadn't been, then I would have stayed home tonight and that's the truth!" he nervously replied and had to wait for a few endless seconds of being stared down, until Bessie said anything again.

"You're only going with that Andie girl as a friend, then?"

"It's mainly because she's been so nice, when it comes to tutoring me. Seeing as I can't afford to pay her, if I'm going to get my boat seaworthy for the spring, the very least I can do is show her a heck of a time tonight" he assured Bessie, who looked far more calmed down now.

"That's really all this evening is about?"

"Scout's honor!" he told Bessie, while making the scout's sign with his fingers. "She's really nice and all of that, but you know that Joey is the only girl for me! All Andie is to me, is a girl who's become a part of our little group of friends, nothing more!"

It was only a second or two later, when he saw who had been standing in the doorway and had heard the whole thing. As he did, seeing the look of disappointment on her face, made his heart sink.

"After all of this time, we've spent together and everything that I've done to help you, out of the pure goodness of my heart, I don't mean anything to you?" Andie asked him full of blame, just as Bessie cleverly made her exit.

"I didn't mean it like that, Andie!" he tried responding, even if the tears running down her cheeks told him, that it would take a miracle to save this situation.

"It's what you just said, isn't it? That all I am to you is a girl, who's become a part of your little clique? You're such a jerk, Pacey! Our date is off!" she yelled at him, before running away.

Standing there, feeling like a guy that made a late-night date with Freddy Krueger seem like "Date of the Year", compared to what he'd just done to Andie, he only had a few alternatives to choose from, none of which were pleasant choices. After a handful of seconds thinking about it, he realized what he had to do.

"Andie, will you listen to me? I'm so incredibly sorry, that you overheard what I said!" he tried to console a still crying Andie, who was hiding in the women's room. It made everyone in the restaurant stare at him, but he couldn't leave this like it was, so however much they decided to stare at him, he'd just have to endure it. To his relief, she soon opened the door, dragged him inside and into a stall, where she locked the door.

"You meant it though, didn't you?" she asked him, with the stains from her tears having ruined her otherwise perfect make-up, from when she'd started the evening.

"Andie, Bessie is Joey's older sister. If I'd said anything to her, that even slightly indicated that anything was going on between us, she would have told Joey about it in an instant! You have to understand, why I can't risk that!" he tried to explain, even if he was also aware that it would be hard to say anything in this situation, that wouldn't make him come off as a total jerk.

"Why not, Pacey? Joey just took off to France for half a year, without considering for a second, what it would do to you, and she left you all alone here! What does that tell you about her?" Andie, in a move he wasn't at all prepared for, argued back at him.

"You don't know her, Andie!" he tried arguing back, although his answer rang a little hollow, even in his own ears.

"It tells me that you've never meant nearly as much to her, as she does to you. I'm sorry, but I've kept my mouth shut long enough and I have to say these things, even if you don't want to hear them. I'm here for the taking right now, if you want me, Pacey and I promise you that I can be even better to you, than she was! All you have to do is give me a chance to!" Andie implored him, just before she tried to move in for a kiss ...

END OF CHAPTER THIRTY-EIGHT

Chapter Text

"And it's happened once again

I'll turn to a friend

Someone that understands

And sees through the master plan

But everybody's gone

And I've been here for too long

To face this on my own

Well, I guess this is growing up!"

BLINK 182 (From the album "Dude Ranch" (1997))

Andie had never been the type of girl, to momentarily forget about any possible negative after-effects of her decisions and go for broke. It was a curse that came with being born with an ultra-analytical mind, that had to think everything every possible outcome through at least five times, before she came to a conclusion in regards on just about any situation, that she might be faced with. It had become as undeniable of a fact, as Einstein having been a pretty clever guy and that any grade below an A-plus, she got in school, was seen by her the same way, as it would have, had it been an F. Just as an example, when she was five and her parents had taken herself and Jack down to a store to buy their first bicycles, it had taken the very young Jack less than five minutes flat in there, to find the bike of his dreams. As for herself, it had taken her over two weeks to mull over whether the pink, the green or the blue bikes, that she was torn between, would still be her preferred bike color by the time, it became too small for her and would have to be replaced with a larger one.

Sometimes, it could annoy her endlessly, that she seemed to be physically unable to make a snap decision and stick to it, until now at least. Now, where she'd just put every card that she had on the table, face-side up, when it came to her crush on one Pacey Witter.

"Andie, we can't do this! One thing is that I can't do this to Joey, but do you really want to start off your first relationship by being "The Other Girl?" Pacey exasperatedly asked her, after he'd backed out of the women's room stall at the Ice House, that had only moments before been the site of her attempt to kiss him. To say that it had gone according to her plan wouldn't be close to correct, but then again, it wasn't like she'd had much of a plan to begin with.

"I won't be, if you break up with her! Pacey, we connect on a deeper level! Can't you see that?" she tried pleadingly asking him, even if it looked like the battle for his heart, if you wanted to call it such, had already been lost long ago.

"When it comes to love, it doesn't matter if we do, because I'm in love with someone else! It wouldn't be fair on her, me, or you for that matter, if I tried to deny it! Andie, I'm positive that there's a parallel universe out there, where Joey and I never hooked up and a pair of other versions of us are the couple, that are the envy of everyone else at school. It just isn't this one, and you have to try to try to forget about your crush on me, because Joey and I won't be breaking up anytime soon. I'll completely understand, if you want to break off our date, or you think that tutoring me would be too hard to deal with for you ..."

"No, that's okay. If you failed all of your exams and I felt like, it was my fault, I know that it would ruin my entire summer" she honestly answered him, before they shared a small, albeit sad smile.

"Thanks. Without you, it's hard to see how I'll get through it".

"What can I say? You're far from the only one, who's been cursed with being way too nice for you own good, Pacey! I should have known that you're too much of a nice guy, to cheat on your girlfriend, just going by how fast you made friends with my brother. For all of his shortcomings, it's impossible to deny that he's a damn great judge of character!" she half-joked, even if the lingering emotional pain of what had just transpired, wasn't putting her in a joking mood.

"You're swearing too now, McPhee? Fess up! Where's the real Andie and what have you done with her?" he quipped, going back to humor as his defense mechanism. On one hand, it was a side of him that could annoy her, especially, when his jokes were badly timed, as it had happened a few times already. This time though, it was most welcome and brought a wry smile out of her.

"I'm still the real deal, believe it or not! You really didn't mean it, when you said that I don't mean anything to you?" she had to ask, now that she had what was perhaps the only chance, she'd have to.

"Andie, you're one of a kind, and I mean that in all of the best ways! I consider myself privileged beyond belief, that you and your brother came into my life, exactly when I needed you to the most. If you can even begin to think, that you don't mean anything to me, it just shows, that you don't know me as well, as you like to imagine, that you do. I guess, what I'm trying to say is thanks, not just for being my infinitely patient tutor, but more than that for being my friend. It's something that I'll never forget, and I'll find a way to repay you, I promise. It just has to be one, that doesn't involve our lips meeting" he sweetly told her, in a way that looked from the heart. It also helped to quell any residual anger, she may have had against him, in what felt like an instant.

"Can you give me five minutes to fix up my make-up? Alone, please?" she asked of him and although, Bessie began scolding him for going into the woman's room, from the second that he'd opened the door out to the restaurant, a nice and calming feeling quickly began to fall over her.

A feeling, both that everything would be okay, along with one of pride, that she for the first time in her life, had told a boy, whom she had a crush on, exactly how she felt about him. Even if it hadn't worked this time (and spectacularly not at that), she now at least knew for sure where she stood with Pacey, and if all she could be with him was friends (for now, anyway), then it was nothing more than a small inconvenience, compared to the multitude of other far more terrible things, that had befallen her and her family over the past years.

After all, as she saw it, a cup of muddy water is still a cup of water, if you happen to be dying of thirst.

Jack hadn't been wrong, when he'd told Jen, that she needed to expect getting more than her share of jealous looks at the dance. Even before they'd reached the confines of the school, she'd both had a small group of jocks whistle at her (their supremely primal, but also at the same time delightfully easy-to-tell, way of showing appreciation for a woman's appearance!) and had received "The Death Stare" from at least half a dozen girls, all of whom clearly wished that it could be them, decked out to look like a slightly sexier than usual Disney Princess, in her grandmother's old dress. Even Jen herself, who (in her own opinion) had to be the most self-critical girl in their entire town, had to think that it wasn't all because of the fine-looking boy, she had on her arm. Although, to be entirely fair, that had probably been at least part of the reason, in some of the instances.

As they entered the high school gymnasium, that for this evening had been turned into something resembling a fancy banquet hall, she had to admit that the party planning committee (that was made up entirely of seniors, none of which a lowly sophomore like herself, had ever talked to) had done a spectacular job at making it feel, like they weren't just hanging out in the same old gymnasium, that they had P.E. in twice a week. In lieu of a band (probably to save money), they'd hired a DJ, some mid-to-late thirty-something, with a horribly lame 80's remnant haircut, that made her seriously doubt, if he'd ever heard of the "Riot Girl" movement, or when it came down to it, any kind of music, that had recently been in the top ten of the rock charts.

Still, little of that mattered to her, since she had what was by such a long distance, that it wasn't even measurable, both the kindest, best dressed and best-looking date, she'd ever gone out with. Not that you could really call most of the random hook-ups from her pre-Capeside days actual dates, as much as being unbridled teenage lust, displayed in the most apparent way thinkable. As for the few guys, who'd taken her out on something resembling a real date, none of them had been in the same league as Jack, neither when it came to how she connected with them on an emotional level, or for that matter in the looks department.

One thing that she had to give their DJ for the evening, was that he was pretty decent, when it came to judging the mood of the room and which song fit in with it. All of the favorite songs of DJ's like him, that she was sure was being played at nearly every dance like this across the country, made their appearance: From Berlin's "Take My Breath Away" or "Eternal Flame" by the Bangles to slow dance to, to up-tempo dance-oriented songs like The Prodigy's "No Good (Start the Dance)", or "Bust a Move" by Young MC, that were sure to get close to everyone out on the floor, save for those who'd seen their videos one too many times on MTV, and gotten their fill of them. To her surprise, he even managed to throw in a few "Gems", that she hadn't expected to hear, like Patti Smith's brilliant version of "Because the Night", one of the better R.E.M songs, from before they became major-label sell-outs, plus Pat Benatar's immortal 80's classic "Love is a Battlefield", songs that only served to make her enjoy herself even more, than she already was.

Eventually though, all of that rather well-tasting punch, that she'd drunk in between dances, would have to catch up with her bladder, and she had to excuse herself from Jack's company, in order to pay a little visit to the girl's room. He didn't seem to mind giving his feet a small break either and before she left him, she tried testing the waters, when it came to a possible mouth-to-mouth kiss, with a small peck on the cheek. Jack only smiled nervously at her gesture, but it told her that if she was to go for the real thing kiss-wise, there was a good chance, that he'd kiss her back.

Coming into the bathroom, she only saw one other girl in there, that being Hannah Von Wenning, who was too busy with touching up her make-up, to pay any attention on a nobody like herself. After Jen had done what she came in there to, she walked up to the sinks to wash her hands, not thinking that someone like herself even existed in the eyes of someone like Hannah, whose family was so rich, that they could have easily bought out every single houseowner in town, should they feel like it. Not that Jen's own parents were short on funds, they just weren't funds that she was receiving a share of.

"You're that girl from New York, aren't you?" Hannah casually asked her, just after she was done making her "war-paint" look like she wanted it to.

"Apparently, that's my codename around these parts!" Jen joked back, which drew a small giggle from Hannah.

"You're sassy! I like it! In truth though, you shouldn't take it personal. I'm admittedly terrible with names and dates and such. I'm ..."

"I know, who you are!" she bit Hannah off. "Even if your reputation hadn't preceded you, I'm also best friends with Pacey's girlfriend and he's told me all about, how you tried to come on to him".

Just the mere mention of Pacey's name was enough to make Hannah make a giant "Whoops Face".

"That worked out well, didn't it? All I can say in my own defense, is that I barely know Joey anymore, so it wasn't like I was trying to deliberately hurt her, or anything like that. For all I care, the two of them can do whatever they want to, when she comes home again and that's the truth".

"You were just trying to get lucky, then?"

"Something like that. He completely turned me down anyway, and I was left feeling like a total fool, for having practically thrown myself at him, so I've paid my prize. Now, I'm with Chris and ... he's Chris. Need I say anymore?" Hannah rhetorically asked with an added eyeroll, that spoke louder than any words could, how infinitely little she thought of her boyfriend.

"Not exactly the brightest bulb, is he?" Jen asked back, while deliberately trying to only sound half-way interested, now that she had a small opportunity to find out, why a pair of opposites like Chris and the girl, she was talking to, had suddenly hitched up.

"You can say that again! Did you know that complete imbecile actually thought that Africa is a country and not a continent, until I corrected him on it? That's the sort of thing, a six-year-old should know! Sometimes, I think to myself, that he has to have been dropped on his head multiple times as a baby, because it's the closest thing, I can come to an explanation for how utterly dumb, that boy is!"

"It does sound a lot like something, he would think!" Jen nervously answered, preferring to let Hannah spill the juice on her own, like she was doing such a fine job of already.

"If he didn't have a driver's license and regular access to his mom's car, I'd be so done with his sorry butt!" Hannah blurted out, just before she began making her way towards the door.

"Is that really the only reason, why you're dating him?" Jen quickly asked Hannah, who turned around and smiled cockily at her.

"A girl has to do, what a girl has to do sometimes. I'm surprised that they didn't teach you that, back in the Big Apple!" Hannah smirkingly replied. Moments later, she was out of the door.

On her way back to meet up with Jack, she saw Hannah and Chris dancing and when she did, she couldn't help feeling sorry for him, something that wouldn't have happened, only a few weeks prior. Sure, he was undoubtedly getting himself some of the really good stuff from Hannah, and she'd been unfortunate enough, to have gone to school with more than her share of immature, macho Wanna-Be's like him, who are so emotionally challenged, that they have to judge their "Manliness" on how many girls, they can convince to get naked with them, that she also knew not to feel sorry for one of them, if they got their heart stamped on. Karma is a bitch, as they say, and with herself being a natural cynic, when it came to the opposite sex, her sixth sense told her that those guys had probably done something to deserve it. In that way, Chris was a dime a dozen and usually, she would have felt it close to impossible, to feel anything aside from pure apathy, when it came to his kind.

Was that all there was to him, though? What if there was more, hidden somewhere so far underneath his skin, that even Freud would have had a severely hard time finding his way into it, and the "Stallone Junior" front that he showed to the world, was nothing more than his way of surviving in the jungle, known as high school? It wasn't unthinkable to her anymore, and if that was the case, then she had no doubt never met a meaner and more ruthless bitch in her entire life (we're talking Aunt Hilda and Belinda combined!), than the stone-cold rich-girl hussy, whom she'd just had an far too enlightening conversation, for her own liking, with!

When she found Jack soon after, he was in the middle of a conversation with Dawson, that it looked for all of the world to her, like he couldn't wait to get out of!

"Any help that you can offer would be appreciated. I know that ten grand sounds like a lot, but when you're making a movie, you have so many expenses, that you burn through cash like there's no tomorrow! If it hadn't been for Hannah investing five grand of her own money into it too, it would have had to be a pretty short movie!" she overheard Dawson jokingly tell her date, just as she came over to join them.

"What's the subject of discussion here?" she smilingly asked the boys, who smiled back at her.

"Dawson is trying to hijack Andie and I to work on his movie. I keep telling him that we won't have the time to, but he won't listen" Jack explained, which instantly made an idea pop into her head.

"I can't say that I know too much about making movies, but I can always try to make myself useful, if you'll have me, Dawson?" she asked the boy, who'd been the first to welcome her, after she'd gotten out of that cab in front of her Grandmom's house, on that now infamous day, where she'd made her return to the town. With how he lit up in smile, she already knew what the answer would be.

"As I also told Jack, any help, even if it's only for half an hour, or an hour here and there, is accepted with nothing but gratitude from my side!" Dawson explained, just as his constantly smiling girlfriend (for the past week, at least) came up behind him and put her arm around his waist.

"What Dawson is simply trying to say is thanks, Jen. Shall we, my sweet?" MB (as close to everyone had begun calling her now, thanks to her incredibly catchy slogan in her election campaign) asked Dawson, before laying a kiss on him, that to Jen more than just a little indicated, what was likely in store for them, after the dance was over!

"It's why we came here, isn't it?" Dawson cheekily asked his girlfriend back, before taking her hand and leading her out onto the dance floor again.

"Do you think they're planning on ... sealing the deal tonight?" Jen whispered to Jack, while they smiled at the sight of the happy couple doing the hokey pokey. Badly too, you might add!

"If they aren't, I'd be shocked!" he whispered back to her. "Don't you sometimes wish, that could be you and everything would be as plain and simple, as it is for them?"

"If you play your cards right, it could be!" she replied to him flirtingly.

It made his face turn a little red, not that Jen minded. If anything, it only made her that much more resolved, when it came to what she had to try out later.

Before this evening, almost all of Andie's experiences with school dances had been as something, that everyone got obnoxiously far too hyped up about for a few weeks, and then when the big evening finally came, it never lived up to their expectations. Pre-Pacey, her highlights (if you could call it that) was her first ever date, with a boy that had to go home after less than an hour, because he started feeling sick (which turned out to be an innocent allergic reaction to an ingredient in the punch, but at the time, she'd just hoped, wasn't thanks to herself making him feel sick!) and through her family extension, seeing Jack and Kate have their first kiss and knowing, that her brother had found someone worth keeping.

This evening had already put every other dance that she'd been to, to shame within the first half an hour and in some strange way, not having any romantic pressure in regard to her date, also meant that she was likely far more relaxed, than she would have been, had she been too focused on trying to impress him, to simply feel free to enjoy herself. As one dance took over for the next, some slow and some fast, it felt like time was flying by in an instant and all of the cares and troubles, that usually were there like a cancerous tumor, in the back of her mind, felt like they were happening to someone else. Seeing her brother looking so carefree and smiling with Jen was another reason of course, and for perhaps the first time, since they'd moved to their mom's hometown, she really felt like they belonged at this school, and with their friends, whom only a few months earlier had been complete strangers, that they'd never met yet.

Before she knew it, it was time for the last dance of the evening, and in spite of the annoyed groans coming from the attendees, that was how the festivities would come to an end. After they'd gotten their coats, herself and most of her friends met up outside (minus Dawson and Mary-Beth, who must have left earlier), and soon after, they all began to split up, with Abby and Melissa (who conveniently lived less than a quarter of a mile away from one another) heading down to the Ice House, to call for a taxi from there and Pacey going with them, seeing as he'd used good tactical sense in leaving his bike down there, earlier that day. He gave her a nice hug, before wishing her goodnight and although, it wasn't entirely what she'd been hoping for, when the day had begun, she also knew that not having ended the day as "The Other Girl", was in all likelihood much better for the sake of both her conscience and overall mental well-being, than the alternative was. Herself and Jack had agreed for their mom to pick them up by the school, but he'd decided with Jen instead, that he would walk her the mile or so home and take the short cut through the woods back to their own house, once his date was safely back at her kind, old grandmother's house.

Sitting there in the front seat of her mom's car, as they drove the short distance home, it wasn't difficult for her to imagine though, what her brother and Jen were actually planning on doing!

"The correct timing is the key to his heart! The correct timing is the key to his heart!" Jen kept telling herself like a mantra, as she walked hand in hand with Jack through the streets of Capeside.

If she completely and totally bundled it, who was to say if she'd get a chance like this again? Eventually though and seeing as they were getting very close to reaching her grandmother's house, it became time for her to try her luck, when it came to this hot and well-mannered, young man, who was gallantly holding her hand and had been nothing, except for the perfect date all evening long.

"Can we stop walking for a minute? These shoes weren't made for long walking trips and my feet were already sore, when we started our walk home?" she pleadingly asked Jack, seeing as they were coming up to a bus stop, that also happened to have a bench attached to it, as it's only "Luxury Feature".

"It's understandable. My sore lumps could use a rest too" he understandingly answered.

As they sat down, she made sure to press herself up against him, as far as she could. It made him a bit jumpy and at first, also shake a tiny bit, but the crux of the matter, was that it didn't make him move away.

"Jack, can I ask you something?" she cautiously asked him, as her heart slowly began to race faster.

"Sure, anything!" he nervously answered her, before they looked one another deeply into the eyes.

"How do I say this without it coming out wrong? I ... like you, okay?" she told him and almost instantly, felt like such a geek for how she'd said it.

"I like you too, Jen. Didn't you have a blast tonight? I know, I did!" he smilingly answered, making her smile to herself as well.

"I did and that's why ... I'd sort of, and only if you're okay with it of course, like for us to be more, than what we are now? Do you get what I, in what I'm very aware of is a total word salad way, am trying to ask you?" she very nervously got out.

He took a few seconds to think his answer over. Seconds, that felt like they lasted an hour each. In the end, he gave her the only answer, that she'd wanted to hear all evening and he didn't need to use words to do it.

Inside of Jen's brain, there was only one word being played over and over again, as their lips pressed together, and what had been a fantasy of hers for over two months by then, finally came true.

What she didn't know, was that the exact opposite word was playing on repeat, inside the brain of the boy, she was making out with.

Sent: March 16th, 1999

From: Jen Rocks

To: A Girl Named Joey

Subject: The dance.

... so now, I guess, I can finally say, that I'm not single anymore! I know, it's nothing short of a miracle for the ages, but it's actually happened! After that first kiss, we took several smaller kissing breaks on the rest of the walk back to Grams' house, which in turn made me so late, that she was about to call the police to go out and look for me, when we finally got there!

I don't care though, because I have a boyfriend and he's the best boyfriend in the entire world! We hung out all afternoon yesterday too, where he took me to a mini-golf course. I allowed him win, as they say you should, or you'll wound some hidden manly ego inside of your date (just kidding! My head wasn't in the game at all and I played so bad, that I saw little kids laughing their butts off, at how much I sucked!), and afterwards, we went for burgers over at your family's restaurant. To cap the day off, we rented "Harold and Maude" (the most romantic movie, I've ever seen) from Screen Time and snuggled up real close on my bed, while we watched it on the small TV in my room, before he had to get home in time for dinner. In short, it was just another perfect day in my already perfect life!

Seriously, Joey, this is all so perfect, that it almost doesn't feel like it could be true and happening for me, the girl that's almost never had any kind of positive experiences, when it comes to love! It's all still so new, that I haven't entirely wrapped my head around it yet. What I will say so far however, is that Jack McPhee is definitely a strong candidate for the title of "Boy of My Dreams", and if he asked me to marry him tomorrow, I would probably say yes to him in a heartbeat! He's that much of a dreamboat! In my eyes, anyway!

I'll be sure to keep you posted on any and all developments, as they transpire. In the meantime, take care and don't wait too long to write me back, okay?

Love, Jen.

PS: The one negative experience, I had at the dance and forgot to mention, was that I had a one-on-one conversation with Hannah Von Wenning in the ladies room! Talk about a complete and utter bitch of the highest caliber! I seriously can't tell you, if I've ever met anyone in my entire life, who's worse than she is, or are even playing the same sort of sick and twisted game, as she is! You know that Chris has never been my favorite guy in the world by a long shot, but even he deserves better than to be played for a total fool by the likes of her!

Sent: March 17th, 1999

From: A Girl Named Joey

To: Jen Rocks

Subject: Congrats!

Hi, Jen. It's fantastic to hear some great news on the romantic front, coming from you! I for one, always had faith that it wouldn't take all that long, until some hot and date-worthy guy saw you for the amazing girl, that both I and all of your other friends, think you are. Maybe this summer, the four of us could on a couple's camping trip, so I can get to really know your boyfriend, what do you think?

That Hannah is a horrible bitch isn't news to me, sorry! Some blood-thirsty leopards, even if they try their best to hide it, don't ever change their spots and that's just how it is!

We'll speak again soon!

Joey

END OF CHAPTER THIRTY-NINE

Chapter Text

THIS CHAPTER IS DEDICATED TO OUR FAMILY DOG, PANXITA

WHO AFTER 16 YEARS OF LIVING JUST ABOUT THE BEST LIFE, A DOG POSSIBLY COULD, BARKED HER FINAL GOODBYES TO THE WORLD ON DECEMBER 16TH, 2023

HAVE FUN IN DOGGY HEAVEN, WHERE THE TREATS AND CUDDLES ARE EVERYWHERE AND THERE´S NEVER A SHORTAGE OF FOUR-LEGGED FRIENDS TO PLAY WITH!

GODDBYE, MY ALWAYS SWEET AND LOYAL COMPANION

"I´m a picker, I´m a grinner

I´m a lover and I´m a sinner

I play my music in the sun

I´m a joker, I´m a smoker

I´m a midnight Toker

I sure don´t want to hurt no one"

STEVE MILLER (From the album "The Joker" (1973))

Sent: March 29th, 1999

From: Spielberg's Disciple

To: A Girl Named Joey

Subject: How's it hanging?

Hi, Joey. It's been a few weeks since our last e-mail exchange, so I just wanted to make sure, that you hadn't forgotten all about me!

Back here, I've been busy with getting everything prepared, for us to (hopefully) be able to begin casting next week, while I'll be working practically around the clock on doing pre-production, along with keeping up in school. Buy hey, I can always sleep when I'm dead, right? One bright spot is that my folks are letting me have the house to myself for half of the weekend, so Mary-Beth is coming over for a romantic dinner.

Pacey says hi too, by the way. I don't know if it's some kind of phobia, that he has towards electronic mediums, but I wouldn't rule it out entirely! You'll just have be patient with him, I'm afraid!

Looking forward to hearing back from you!

Dawson

Sent: March 29th, 1999

From: A Girl Named Joey

To: Spielberg's Disciple

Subject: re: How's it Hanging?

Hi, Dawson. Sorry, that I haven't written these past few weeks, but they've been flying by, like there's no tomorrow! It's insane to think that I've nearly been here for three months already and that it'll only be a few months, until I have to travel home again! This weekend, as a reward for the near-perfect report card, I came home with, my host parents are taking me and Emma to Euro Disneyland near Paris, and since it's likely to be my only time visiting there, I'm looking forward it like a kid before X-Mas! They're only paying for the trip and the entrance fee, so it'll probably wipe out a good chunk of the rest of my winnings from the beauty contest, but we only live once, right?

Good luck with everything, Dawson! I know in my heart that you can do anything, you set your mind to! Oh, and have fun on your date!

Love, Joey.

Have you ever felt like the joke was on you? To Dawson, it was close to the best description of the situation, he'd put himself in. One thing was that he had to juggle having two girlfriends at the same time (even if one of them didn't see themselves as being one, and had another boyfriend), a situation that he wouldn't wish happening to his worst enemy, but on top of that he both had a movie to make (not a small feat in itself!) and with the end of the schoolyear (and with that also finals) coming up soon, he couldn't slack off on his schoolwork, or he'd be sure to be hearing constant sly little passive/aggressive remarks from his mom about it, pretty much from when his summer vacation began, to when it came to an end. In other words, a fate ten times worse than death!

"What does this thing do?" Pacey confusedly asked him, while they were spending their Saturday afternoon busily unpacking the new camera (an actual movie camera, as opposed to the glorified home video one, that he'd shot his first movie on), boom mike (with an extendable metal rod, to go along with it) and small lighting setup, that would allow them to shoot scenes outside in the evening. and had all been delivered to his door that morning. Thanks to his dad helping him with finding the best offers online, he'd only paid a little over three grand for the whole setup, a great deal less than what he'd expected it to cost him.

Having the proper equipment, that he needed, was something, he really could have used when shooting his first movie, especially considering that it was after all, intended to be a scary horror movie! Looking back on it now, it felt infinitely more campy, than scary to him, and if this was going to be a movie, that he could be proud of (and perhaps even, put him on the map as a young film maker, to watch out for in the future), then the production values would have to be upped by a long way, to go along with the far better script, he felt like he had this time around.

"That's ..." he began saying, as Pacey handed the "Whatever it Was" over to him. "Something, I'm not sure of what is either! We'll figure it out sooner or later".

"Do you think your idol Steven Spielberg ever looked at a piece of filming equipment and had no clue, what it was?" his friend teasingly asked, before continuing with his share of the unboxing process.

"He probably did, when he was my age. Rome wasn't built in a day, Pacey. Not even for the best of them".

"Let me ask you this, then? How old was Spielberg, when he directed his first movie? If anyone in this entire town would know, I'm sure, it's you!"

"If we count the first projects, he directed for TV, I'd say that he was around twenty-two, twenty-three. Why?"

"I'm getting to it. And I'm guessing that he'd spent a few years film school before then?"

"Actually, he got turned down by the film school, that he most wanted to go to, believe it or not! Can you imagine having been the Dean of that school, who'd told Steven Spielberg, the most successful movie director of all time, that he wasn't worthy of getting into his precious school? I bet, that guy felt like a total doofus, when he saw Spielberg winning the best director award at the Oscars!"

"I'd be surprised too, if he didn't! Dawson, my point is that when you start out training to be a mountain climber, you don't start off by trying to climb Mount Everest! Just like you don't enter into the Tour de France, when you still need to have training wheels on your bicycle!" Pacey exclaimed, making a point that had popped into Dawson's own head a time or two as well.

"I know that it's perhaps an overly ambitious project, better than anyone does!" he tried objecting.

"I'm not sure that you do! Listen, your first movie, it was just you, me and Joey working on it for the most part and joining us during the last part of filming it, was Jen. If we messed up a scene or two, it was like, so what? There wasn't any pressure on us to get anything done within a certain time frame, and if a shot came out blurry, we could just re-shoot it the next day, and there'd be no worries! This time, you'll have to worry about staying within a budget and keeping things moving according to a schedule, there'll be people counting on you to pay them on time, and with the expectations that you've set up for yourself with this flick ..."

"Pace, don't you think that I've had all of those thoughts too?" he had to interject, if nothing else not to let his buddy beat him, when it came to who was the bigger realist out of them.

"All I'm saying is that everything considered, don't you think it would better to push off the start of the shoot until this summer, when you won't have any schoolwork to worry over and your all-time favorite distraction will be off on her own little vacation, far away from you?"

"I've already told you, that I agreed to spend part of it visiting my aunt in Philadelphia. Not to mention, that If I push it off, who'll I get to act in it? Nearly everyone that I'm thinking of casting goes to our school, and I'm pretty sure, they have other and, in their eyes, far more interesting plans for their summer, than spending it being bossed around by me! Plus, who's to say if one of my principal cast members doesn't have to move away, thanks to their parents and suddenly switches schools? I'd have to reshoot every scene, that I'd already shot with them, and even then, it wouldn't live up to my original vision. Have some faith in me, Pacey. That's all I'm asking from you, as my best friend".

"Hey, I have all of the faith in the world in you!" his friend reassured him. "I just don't want you to come to me in a month and telling me, that you're considering making a run for it, because it's become too much for you!"

"I won't, I promise! You have my word as a former boy-scout!" he answered, trying to sound as confident, as it was within him to do.

Was it real confidence though, or just an act, he was trying to sell to his oldest compadre? To be honest, even Dawson himself wasn't entirely certain.

For the first time in her life, Mary-Beth could say that it was near impossible for her to find ways, that it could be better. Dawson, in spite of her initial reservations over dating a guy, who clearly wasn't over another girl yet, had turned out to be the poster boy, for exactly what the best kind of boyfriend is, when you're fifteen, in your first relationship and all of the things that come along with it, are things that you're slowly picking up along the way. Him being as inexperienced, as she herself was, meant that their whole relationship felt to her like a journey, they were going through together and if that wasn't enough, it was like lately he'd been even more attentive to her needs, than he had been at first, and was trying harder than usual, when it came to keeping a smile on her face, every time that they spent alone time together.

The one slight drawback, she could see in their future, would be when his movie went into full production mode, which would no doubt take up a large chunk of his available after school hours. Since it would only be for a short period of time, she could live with it however, as long as he kept up the sublime work, when it came to keeping her happy the rest of the time!

Him being busy making his movie, could even be a small advantage to her, she figured, since it was already becoming clear to her, that the role of student body president came with nothing short of a mountain of extra work. Both, when it came to the meetings themselves, but just as much in making sure that she was properly prepared for them, if only so that she wouldn't come off as being in over her head. Which, in all fairness, she still wasn't sure if she wasn't, but so far at least (in the three meetings that her newly selected committee had held), if felt to her like she'd come off as being qualified for the job, and hadn't just been someone, who'd lucked into it, after most of those competing against her (for one reason or another) had dropped out of the election.

She already knew that she would be spending much of her summer vacation in Arizona, visiting the lion's share of her family, that lived down there. She didn't mind this at all, seeing as she (aside from those few weeks every summer) only got to see them at Christmas (even that hadn't been every year), and they always welcomed her back with open arms, making her feel at home, if not instantly, then close to it. Dawson had plans to spend part of his summer in Philadelphia, that much she already knew from being told by him, meaning that whatever time they had together until then would be precious, and she planned on milking it, for all it was worth. Whether the "Milking it" part also extended to going further in the touchy-feely sense, than they already had, was something she was still debating within herself. What she could say with certainty though, was that it wasn't entirely out of the question.

It was with all of these thoughts in her head, that she took Mikey, their family's nine-year-old Briard and in many ways, second child of the family, for a nice, long walk downtown to the only store in town, where she could buy the pet food for him, that her mom had forgotten to buy, every time that she'd passed by the store for the past two weeks. Seeing as it was a beautiful early spring day and she couldn't allow their beloved pooch to starve (not that she didn't know all too well, that her parents would just spoil him rotten with other kinds of food instead!), she didn't mind any more than he did, taking him out to experience a little more, than their usual walks around the neighborhood offered a dog like him, who was still as curious when it came to exploring the world, as he'd been, when they'd first gotten him as a tiny and unbelievably adorable, little puppy.

The store that she needed to go to, called "Everything for Everything Living", was down close to the pier and was one, mostly frequented by a combination of other local pet owners, combined with farmers or farm hands from the small handful of farms, that in the old days used to almost fill the entire region, but had since declined rapidly both in size and numbers, and in the summer a whole lot of tourists, by far the most of whom came in there to buy bait, for their upcoming fishing trips. After leashing Mikey up outside of the store and assuring him, that she wouldn't be long, she quickly went in to buy a four-pound bag of dry food for him, along with a small bag of doggy treats, that she knew from experience were his favorites.

As she came out, she saw that he'd managed to make yet another human friend, while she'd been inside the store. Not that it was anything out of the usual for him to do so!

"His name is Mikey, in case you were wondering" she told the girl her own age, that she recognized from school. From what she remembered, her name was Hannah, but it wasn't like they'd ever spoken to one another. Mikey clearly liked her though, and especially, the kind and caring way she was cuddling him, so that was a positive sign!

"I'm sorry. I was sitting in the restaurant across the street with my parents, waiting for the lunch we'd ordered to arrive, when I saw him standing here all by himself and I couldn't help myself. I'm Hannah, by the way" the girl introduced herself and they smiled at one another.

"I recognized you from school. I'm Mary-Beth, but I have a feeling that you already knew that!"

"It would have been close to impossible to not have heard your name mentioned ten times a day, minimum, these past weeks! Congratulations on winning the election. I voted for you, like pretty much everyone else, I know, also did!" Hannah, in an almost overly friendly tone, told her.

"Thanks. And if you feel like you should apologize to anyone, it should be Mikey, but it doesn't look like he has anything to complain over!" she joked back to Hannah, who let out a small giggle, as she gave little Mikey a good rub, from the top of his back, down to the beginning of his tail.

"If only boys were as easy to deal with, as one of his kind is, am I right? You go out with Dawson, don't you?" Hannah, in what seemed like a slightly peculiar question to her, asked.

"That's one way of saying it, but we're a little more serious than that" she answered, not wanting to disclose too much to someone, who still was a stranger to her.

"How serious are we talking here? He hasn't asked you to marry him yet, has he?" Hannah asked, as she raised a concerned eyebrow and now, it was Mary-Beth, who couldn't help herself from giggling.

"It hasn't gone that far! Not yet at least!" she told Hannah, who let out a small sigh.

"That's a relief! Don't get me wrong, he seems like a nice and talented guy. Otherwise, I wouldn't have agreed to invest a cent in his movie! I'd just hate to see a girl like you, who has the world at her feet right now, throw it all away for some guy, who might not be worth it. You could call it a natural concern, that I have for the not-so-tough parts of the female race, nothing more. So, I'm guessing that you live around here?" Hannah, in yet another in her line of questions, that were bordering in being a tad too personal, asked.

"Actually, we live a couple of miles away and we should probably get going, before he becomes so hungry, that he'll start chasing the birds and squirrels around!" she jokingly excused herself, from this "almost interrogation", Hannah was putting her through.

"We can't have that, can we?" Hannah smilingly replied. "We should talk more at school, than we have so far, Mary-Beth. You seem like the kind of cool girl, I wouldn't mind hanging out with" Hannah bid her goodbyes, before heading back to her parents and the lunch, that was sure to be better than the three slices of toast, Mary-Beth had for her lunch.

On the walk home, she kept replaying her short encounter with Hannah inside of her head. It wasn't like it had been an uncomfortable experience, still, something about the way, that girl had asked her questions, seemed off to her, like she had some other reason for trying to befriend her, than just the both of them being dog lovers.

For now, though, she had a big date with Dawson that evening, to get ready for. With her parents having allowed her to stay the night there and his parents letting him have the house to himself, until they were to arrive home, circa noon the day after, who was to say what exactly might transpire between them in the early hours of the night?

After Pacey had headed over to his brother's, to see if he couldn't bum a ride home from him, Dawson had spent the next hours meticulously going over everything for the evening ahead. From making sure two times, that he'd bought all of the ingredients for the lasagna, he was making for himself and his date, to carefully selecting the most romantic songs, for when they got to "That Part" of the evening, there was practically nothing left to chance, save for an unforeseen accident, like the entire power supply in their house going out, or something akin to it.

He'd only just finished honing his look for the evening, when the phone rang. His first thought was that it could be the TV station, his mom worked for, who were prone to calling her at home so often on the weekends, that it sometimes annoyed her. He therefore didn't pay it much mind, when he put the receiver up to his ear.

"Leery residence. This is Dawson speaking" he said, trying to sound as proper on the phone as he could, in case it was someone from the station.

"You sound like the receptionist, every time I've called my dad at his office?" an unwelcome voice on the other end playfully replied.

"What do you want, Hannah? I'm getting ready for a date with my real girlfriend!" he told what no doubt was the last girl, that he wanted to talk to at that moment.

"Is that a feeble attempt to hurt me, Dawson?" she asked him mockingly. "If I gave a rat's behind what you thought of me, I might have cared, but I don't! So, you have a big date tonight, huh? Do you think Mary-Beth will spread those virginal legs of hers for you, and you'll get lucky?

"Don't talk about her like that! Look, if the only reason you called was to taunt me, I'm hanging up!"

"Easy there, Romeo! I just wanted you to know, that I had a little chat with her today".

"You're lying and I'm hanging up!"

"If you don't believe me, just ask her. Don't worry, I didn't spill any sordid details to her, that you wouldn't want your sweetheart to hear! Yet anyway!" Hannah menacingly said, sending a knot flying right down into his stomach.

"What's that supposed to mean?" he asked, all the time dreading what would be said next.

"She's real a little sweetheart, isn't she? I know that I took an instant liking to her, once we got talking".

"And?"

"And it would be a real shame for someone like her to get her heart broken. She can have you all to herself tonight, as long as you're mine tomorrow evening. Is that understood?"

"What if I say no?" he asked, even if he could already guess, what the answer was.

"Do I really have to say it out loud? Face the facts, Loverboy! From now, until I decide to let you off the hook, I own you! Play nice and you won't have anything to worry about. Don't, and I'll have to tell my new friend Mary-Beth all about how easy it's been for me, to make you forget all about her!"

He didn't get to reply, before Hannah hung up on him. As he stood there for over a minute afterwards, staring out into blank space, it was more a feeling of disbelief, than anything else, that filled him.

Was she bluffing or not? It was hard to say, but what the question was even more, was if he could afford to find out, if she was or not.

No matter what the case, he had a lasagna to take out of the oven, so it could be allowed to rest for a short while, before his date got there. Unfortunately, he didn't have the time to, because moments later, it knocked on their door.

It was almost a relief to him, to see that it was Pacey.

"I must have dropped my wallet somewhere, and you know that I hate to interrupt, when you have a date coming over, but ..."

"It's fine, Pacey. You can come in and look for it" he told his friend, who looked a bit relieved.

"Thanks. It's been driving me off the wall, since I realized, it was missing! Is Mary-Beth here yet?"

"No, but she shouldn't be long. Come in" he said to Pacey, who didn't have to be told twice.

To Pacey's relief, it didn't take him more than a few minutes to locate his wallet. While he was looking for it, Dawson used the time to set the dining room table for himself and Mary-Beth.

"Your dinner sure smells nice! You're sure that I convince you to let me stay for an hour or two?" Pacey jokingly asked.

"Not this time!" he quickly answered his best bud, who must have picked up on him still being shook up, from his phone conversation with Hannah.

"Are you okay?" Pacey asked, sounding concerned.

"Yeah, why?"

"When I left here a few hours ago, you were on cloud nine over your date tonight. Did something happen in the meantime?"

"It's just pre-date jitters, nothing else. I'm fine, Pacey" he reassured his friend, who smiled to himself.

"You still get pre-date jitters, even after all of these months, where you and MB have been going on at least one date a week? That's so cute, dude!" Pacey quipped, making both of them laugh.

"I can't help it! Just between us, I'm also kind of hoping that this will be the evening, where we ... consummate our relationship, if you catch my drift?"

"Ah! Got ya! Well, best of luck with that! Do you have protection, in case things go the way, you're hoping, that they will?" Pacey asked and of course, in spite of all of his meticulous planning, when it came to this evening, there had to be one extremely important thing, that he'd forgotten to buy!

"It's the one thing, I forgot to pick up from the store! Dammit!" he blurted out, but as the good friend that he was, Pacey had the solution for him hidden in his wallet.

"I bought a few of them after the first time, Joey and I ... that's not important!" Pacey stopped himself, before he'd revealed too much. "They only cost me a few bucks each, so just accept it for a present".

Within moments, a vital piece of prophylactic had switched hands between the boys, and Pacey looked like, he was about to leave.

"Have you and Joey done the deed yet? I mean, you don't have to answer, and it's none of my business, if you have. I ... nah, just forget it!"

"What is it, Dawson? Time is ticking down to your hot hook-up, so we don't have all evening, to wait for you to get the words out!"

"I'm just not sure that we're ready to go all the way yet! There are a lot of commitment things, that come with ... doing that, you know?"

"Yeah, I know. Look don't tell Joey that I've disclosed anything about what we've done in private together, or she'll literally tear my head and assorted other limbs right off my body, that I'm sure, I need to survive! All I can tell you is that we haven't done that one thing, either and it's for the same reasons, that you haven't. Sex is a huge step and the last thing you want to do, is mess up your first time, right? So, just take it as far with her, as you're both comfortable with, and save the images from that into your spank bank!" Pacey advised him, as only Pacey could!

"What if she's disappointed, that we don't end up doing it?"

"It's Mary-Beth that we're talking about here, not Sharon Stone in the ending to "Basic Instinct"! She'll be more than happy, as long as she gets all that she can handle, when it comes to intimacy from you. Dawson, you couldn't have picked a better girl for yourself, and I mean that with all sincerity! It's like you're meant for one another!"

"You really think so?"

"I'm so sure of it that I'll swim buck naked from one side of the creek to the other, if you two aren't still a couple, by the end of this school year! Have a nice evening!" Pacey said his goodbyes and was soon out of the door again.

If they were so perfect together though, why had it been so easy for Hannah to seduce him? This was a question that Dawson pondered, right up until their doorbell rang, signaling the arrival of the girl, he now knew for certain, that he was truly in love with.

When she'd arrived at Dawson's house, Mary-Beth hadn't been sure what to expect, except that she was sure, she would wind up enjoying herself that evening. Anything else, naked activities included, would just be a bonus and nothing more.

In those regards, the evening was a pretty decent success, seeing as they rounded third base for the first time. To her (pleasant) surprise, he even seemed to know what he was doing down there and wasn't at all acting like the fumbling first-timer, she'd expected him to be. Truth be told, he'd been VERY knowledgeable, and while having sex with him would surely have been great too, she really didn't need any more pleasuring, than she'd already been subjected to that evening. Part of her, the constantly curious side, wanted to press him on how, he could possibly know a girl's body so well, when he hadn't tried more than she had before. Then again, why should she do anything to potentially ruin, what had been a through and through perfect date night?

As for her date, by the time her mom picked her up in her car the day after, she wasn't sure if she wasn't already dating the boy of her dreams.

END OF CHAPTER FORTY

Chapter Text

"I can feel it coming in the air tonight

Oh, Lord

And I´ve been waiting for this moment, for all my life"

PHIL COLLINS (From the album "Face Value" (1981))

Sent: April 3rd, 1999

From: Mighty Miss Morgan

To: A Girl Named Joey

Subject: Your dad.

Hi, Joey. I hope that you had brilliant trip to Euro Disneyland and no, I wasn't at all jealous, that it wasn't me going there with you, instead of that English girl, you've become such good friends with! Not at all (she said, very insincerely)!

The big news back here, as I'm guessing that Bessie has been regularly filling you in on, is that your dad will be paroled tomorrow. If you can give me any pointers on things, I could talk with him about, it would be helpful, considering that him and I have never said more than five words to one another before, and even that number could be on the high side! Bessie is clearly glad for him, as you would expect her to be, but I can also tell that him getting out of jail, is bringing back a lot of hurtful memories from his arrest, and the time leading up to it, that she'd rather have left in the past. When it comes to Bodie, it's impossible to get more than a few words out of him, anytime I've brought your dad's name up, so whether your old man gets welcomed back with open arms by everyone, feels very doubtful at this time.

I don't want to worry you, when you're far away across the Atlantic, and you're unable to affect anything back here. I'm just looking for a bit of guidance, that's all.

Hoping that you're (still) having fun!

Abby.

Sent: April 3rd, 1999

From: A Girl Named Joey

To: Mighty Miss Morgan

Subject: My dad.

Hi, Abby. First of all, our day at Euro Disneyland, while kind of expensive, was nothing short of awesome! By the time it became evening, and we had to head home though, I'd already had enough adrenaline rushes that day, to last me at least the next five years!

Yeah, Bessie has already warned me, that my old man being let out of the slammer. I almost don't want to write it here, but right at this time, I don't mind being over a thousand miles away from Capeside! Don't get me wrong, my dad is a nice and friendly guy, but what he did to me and Bessie, by getting busted for selling dope, and leaving us practically high and dry on our own, can't be easily forgotten. I'm sure, he knows that too.

I can only imagine that the tension inside of the house will be so thick, that you could cut it out in slices with a bread knife, but two easy ways to get him talking is to either mention some kind of food or, if you know anything about football (or American Football, as they call it over here) and in particular, his favorite team, the New England Patriots, they're usually one of his favorite things to talk about.

I wouldn't mention jail at all, or ask into what it's like in there, though. I'm keeping my fingers crossed for all of you, but my sixth sense, mixed with my knowledge of my dad's past, tells me that him coming back won't be as smooth of a transition, as we're all desperately hoping, it will be.

Good luck! (I have a feeling that you'll probably need it!)

Joey

If you had to choose one word, that best described Abby's life, it would be turmoil. Just a few weeks earlier, when she was dancing with her girlfriend, on that magical evening at the school dance, she'd been able to push all of the things, she knew would be coming for her, into the back of her mind. For that handful hours, it had almost felt like there was only the two of them in the world, and whereas she'd always felt like somewhat of an outcast, compared to her classmates, for that one evening, she'd been exactly like every other fifteen-year-old girl, who's in love up to both ears with their first "Special Someone", and just wants to enjoy them, for all they're worth. That her "Special Someone" was another girl, had made them stand out like a sore thumb on a handful of occasions, but both of their sets of parents being cool with the two of them "Exploring Their Sexuality" on each other, helped a lot, when it came to ignoring the many dumb small remarks, they had to endure at school five days a week.

She'd known from the start, that her current living arrangement with Bessie, Bodie and Alexander wasn't a permanent one. With Joey returning in June, after the French schoolyear had come to its end, it also meant that she'd surely want her old room and with that, also her very comfy bed, back. That much was understandable to her, and even if she would be missing having a room of her own and a nice bed to sleep on, she was also looking forward to hanging out with Joey again so much, that it made the positives far outweigh the negatives. However, there was also a wild card, if you will, that she most of the time hadn't thought much about, even if she probably should have.

Joey and Bessie's dad, whom Bessie had told her, had been granted parole and would be released from prison the day after, on what should have just been your standard, run of the mill Wednesday.

"Did I tell you that my mom is so broke that she's trying to sell the house, before she gets sent to the slammer?" she sadly told Jen.

They'd taken a short trip outside in between classes, to enjoy the lovely spring weather, that had thankfully replaced the chilling cold days of January, February and the first days of March, where you seriously had to consider if it was worth it first, before you ventured outside of any door!

"The news just keep getting better with each passing day, huh?" Jen sarcastically asked her, while taking in a whiff of the smells outside, that all smelled a heck of a lot better than the mixed odors of arm pit sweat and dollar store perfume, that constantly filled the classrooms and hallways of their school!

"Tell me about it! That's my childhood home, she's just selling off, like it doesn't mean the slightest thing to her! Not that it's close to being all good memories, I have from living in that house, but we did have a nice handful of pleasant years all together there, before my parents couldn't stand being married to one another anymore!"

"See it this way, Abby. Now, you can call yourself another victim of our unfairly Patriarchal, Ultra-Capitalist system! Sorry, I listened some of my old extremely angry, hyper left-wing chick metal CD's yesterday, that I brought from New York and hadn't listened to in months!"

"Here, I would have thought that you'd be listening to Mariah Carey's greatest hits these days!" she teased Jen, who made an scrunchy face, just at the thought of it.

"No matter how deeply I'll ever fall in love with someone, you'll never find one of her albums on my record shelf! I leave that to Pacey's older brother, who according to Pacey, owns more than enough of them, for the entire town!" Jen quipped, drawing a small smile from herself, that quickly faded, though.

"Speaking of Pacey, guess who's the reason why I have to spend my day off from work today, sanding down a boat? I mean, could you possibly think of a more tedious way of spending your precious free time?"

"I'm not sure that Joey would agree!"

"Yeah, well, Joey also has other, far more exciting things to look forward to, when the two of them hang out together!"

"I can try talking to him, and see if I can't convince him to let you off the hook?" Jen, in what usually would have been an enticing suggestion, offered.

"Thanks, but no thanks. We made a deal and I have a feeling that if I try to get out of it, there's a good chance that it could come back and bite me in the Hiney later! Plus, I can't help thinking, that spending an afternoon in Pacey's very down to earth company, wouldn't be the worst thing for me".

With Melissa's parents having company over, and her girlfriend being expected by her folks to be there, it wasn't as if there were a whole lot of other things, she could fill her itinerary for the day with, anyway. Except for catching up on some of her pretty far back-dated homework, but there was always the day after to begin getting stuck into that!

"You have to tell her tonight, before this goes even further, than it already has" Jack had kept telling himself, throughout the better part of his school day. The "Her" in question being Jen, and the thing he had to tell her, being what he knew, was probably the last thing, she wanted to hear.

He could remember something similar happening to Tim, way back when he was still in high school. To make a very long story short, one day, he'd brought a new girlfriend named Fiona home, and like they always did in their small family, they'd welcomed her in with smiles and open arms. She seemed like a really nice girl too, even if she clearly also was the shy type, and most importantly, his older brother was obviously crushing hard on her. This was right up until, she admitted to him, that the only reason why she was dating him, was to divert the attention of her parents away from her "real" relationship, that wasn't with a guy.

Jack could still remember feeling so upset on behalf on his brother, that he wanted to out her to everyone, and if it hadn't been for the always far more cool-headed Tim explaining to him, that it wasn't something, she should be blamed for, and much rather, a great reason to feel sorry for her, he just may have. Of course, back then, he'd only been a simple-minded eight-year-old kid, who was no doubt being far too over-protective towards a beloved older brother, that didn't need him to be, but the fact alone that his younger and far more naïve self had even suggested it back then, still stuck to his memories all of these years later (and not in a welcome way).

Had he, all of those years ago, known in any way, that someday it would basically be himself walking in Fiona's shoes, would he still have used those words? Probably not, and it only made him kick himself all that harder, when it came to how dumb and not the least, cowardly, he'd acted after the dance. If there had ever been a golden opportunity to just lay it all out there, cross his fingers and hope for the best, it had been the moments right after Jen had confessed her feelings to him, and what had he done? Like the people pleaser that he'd been raised to be, he'd kissed her, and all of the time imagined, that it was Jared Leto, he was making out with! On a one to ten "Bad Scale" of things he'd done, this was the only clear-cut ten, that he'd easily admit to being guilty of, and that the "victim" to his "crime" was a girl, who in his own eyes deserved the best and nothing else, only made his conscience feel far guiltier, than it would have, had she just been a random one-night stand.

He'd already done the whole "dating a girl, so no one would suspect anything" schtick to death, when he lived in Providence. On that wonderful day, when he'd said his goodbyes to Kate and their romantic relationship, it had truly felt like an enormous weight was being lifted off his shoulders. By that point, he'd already been dreading and pondering for over a year, how to tell the truth about being gay to the girl, who'd not only been his girlfriend for over a year, but had also been the lucky girl, who'd taken his virginity (just like he'd taken hers that day).

Just as importantly, he also had to avoid word of himself not being straight as an arrow reaching his sister's ears. Whether he liked it or not, he had to factor into everything that he told his then-GF, that Kate was also best friends with his twin sister, and while Andie had more than her share of lovable and praise-worthy qualities, keeping a secret had never been one of them, and he severely doubted, that it ever would be. When he often joked to her, that she would be the worst secret agent in the world, there was a hint of truth to it and he could all too easily imagine, that something as big as their son being into the idea of doing it with guys, as opposed to doing it with girls, would be dragged out of her by one of their parents, before a week had passed by.

He'd made a promise to himself, as they passed the Providence city limits sign for the last time, that he wouldn't get himself romantically involved with anyone again, guy or girl, without firstly being honest with them. Breaking that promise only weighed harder on a guilty conscience, that was already plenty weighed down, as it was.

No one knew better than himself, how infinitely little it would take, to make it feel clear as day again. The only question now, was if he could work up the guts within himself, to actually get it done.

"So, Jen and Jack are planning on going on a hot date tonight, huh? I have to admit, I wasn't sure if those two crazy kids would ever figure it out, without getting a helping hand here and there!" Pacey joked to Abby, while they were simultaneously busy with sanding down his "Over-Sized Rowboat", as she teasingly called it in front of him, whenever she got the chance to.

"From what she's told me, it's just a romantic walk down on the beach. But hey, it still counts, right!" she joked back to him, and they shared a small, but hearty laugh.

"I think, that's what you call going on a date, when you have to follow a strict budget!"

"Something, I'm quickly becoming a master at, if I may say so myself! Who cares what you do anyway, as long as you're with someone, you're in love with and they love you back, the same way?"

"I couldn't have said it better! We can call it a day, if you want to, Abby. I'm sure that you feel like, you've done enough sanding for one lifetime today!" he offered, before he dusted his pants and shirt off, from most of the saw dust and small pieces of paint chips, that had built up on them.

"It's okay. I can stay another hour or two" she replied, getting her a knowing look from him.

"This wouldn't have something to do with a certain someone, who's getting paroled tomorrow?" he knowingly asked, and since there wasn't any reason to try to lie her way out of it, she made a snap decision to open up.

"Who told you?"

"Bodie, the last time I was down at their restaurant, a few days ago. He didn't seem more pleased over it, than you do".

"I'm not surprised. From what I can understand, the two of them have had a rocky relationship at best, practically since Bessie and Bodie started dating, all of those years ago. Don't tell Bessie that I told you, but I don't think she's all that excited over the prospects of living with him again. Until he can find a place of his own however, it's how it has to be. Meanwhile, our house is already so full of tension, that even Alexander must be picking up on it, with how fuzzy, compared to his usual rather easy-going nature, that he's been acting these past weeks or so".

"Speaking of the house, doesn't Joey and Bessie's dad still technically own it?"

"I have to plead the fifth on that one, on account of not having the slightest clue whatsoever!" she told him honestly, before blowing some dust off the part of the keel, she'd been working on and looking it over. To be perfectly honest, she didn't know how far he expected her to sand it down, but it looked fine enough for her, as it was now.

Shortly afterwards, they called time on their project, seeing as Pacey wanted to grab a much-needed shower before dinner. She ended up staying, and actually enjoyed herself quite a lot in the company of Pacey and his very kind mom, even if the dinner itself wasn't anything to write home about. As an unexpected bonus, Pacey (who'd finally gotten his driver's license a few days earlier and was eager to start using it in practice) gentlemanly offered to drive her home, in his mom's car.

"Should we take the longer and more scenic route, or just the fastest one?" he asked her, as he went through all of the in-grown routines, that most young people, who've just gotten their driver's license for the first time, are prone to do.

"We aren't in any hurry, are we?" she rhetorically asked back.

"The scenic route, it is!" he gleefully said, just as he turned the key, and the car engine began to spring to life.

To start off their little drive with, they mostly small-talked about school, as well as things involving their other friends, who weren't named Jen Lindley or Jack McPhee. With the days starting to become longer, it was still only dusk, when he drove her home, giving her a chance to look out of the window at the houses, as they passed them by. This was when she saw something, she simply had to point out to him!

"There's a couple doing it up against the window!" she loudly exclaimed, like it was the greatest thing, she'd ever seen!

"For real? Where?" he curiously asked her, as he quickly pulled up to the curb, to get a look at it for himself.

"Right there! You can see the girl's bare ass and everything, bumping up against it!" she excitedly explained, before pointing the house in question out to him. When she did though, all he did was let out a small laugh.

"To each their own, I guess!" he dryly joked, before putting the car into gear again. "We should give them their privacy, even if it probably isn't their biggest concern right at this moment!"

As he began to drive off however, Abby caught a glimpse of something, that he didn't: The face of one of the participants in this "showing of affection", they'd just been eyewitnesses to.

To her complete and total shock, it was clearly Dawson. Meaning that the bare tushy, she'd just gotten a pretty decent gawk at, could only have been Mary-Beth's.

After spending the post-school part of his afternoon going over every possible way, he could come out to Jen and all of the possible ways, she could react to it, he'd eaten dinner with his mom and Andie, where he hadn't said much. Not that he needed to, since Andie had gotten what she thought was the idea of a lifetime for the next school year's science fair, some concoction that would undeniably prove something, when it came to the depletion of the ozone layer. He was only quarter listening at the most, so her explanation of what it would become, mostly went in through one ear and out the other, while he was busy doing some important planning of his own. After dinner, he'd grabbed a quick shower and brushed his teeth, before he left for his "date" with Jen.

They'd agreed to meet down at the Ice House at seven-thirty, and from there, taking a moonlight walk down by the beach. To this end, it seemed like the moon was even agreeing with them, since it was close to full on this evening and with the temperatures having reached the pleasant range, you couldn't say that it wasn't a perfect evening for a romantic stroll.

After they'd exchanged hugs and pleasantries, they started the short walk down there and he was relieved to see, that there didn't look to be all that many others, who'd gotten the same idea, they had. Doing this would be hard enough, without the chance of being interrupted mid-way through it, so the fewer people they saw, the better. After the only ones, they'd met for a handful of minutes had been a pair of random dog walkers, none of whom paid any attention to them, it was becoming close to showtime and this time, it had to be for real!

"The moon is really beautiful tonight, don't you think?" Jen asked quietly, as she smiled sweetly at him.

"Yeah, I guess so" was all, he could think of answering.

"You can never see it this clearly, when you live on Manhattan. Until I moved here, it was one of those things, I'd never thought of and now, I really like that I can look up at it. I'm sorry! I'm rambling here! I always do it, when I get nervous!" she cutely told him, as she looked him deeply into the eyes with eyes of her own, that were full of sheer infatuation.

"It would be so easy to keep on fooling her", he found himself thinking for a fleeting moment, before forcing those thoughts out of his head again. He had to do this now, before this poor girl fell in love with himself, and it would truly become soul crushing for her, when the truth about his homosexuality would eventually have to be revealed!

"Jen, there's something, I have to tell you. I should have done it sooner, but I guess, telling it now is better than not telling you at all" he began, getting an understanding facial expression in return from her.

"You can tell me anything. If it helps, whatever it is, I've probably done something ten times worse!" she quipped in return.

Would she still be joking a few minutes from then, when he'd essentially just dumped her and admitted, that he'd been playing her for a fool? He sincerely doubted it.

"I'm a ... I mean, that's to say that I'm ... a virgin, okay?" he almost stutteringly told her, and immediately, a feeling of self-loathing began to fill him. "It's just that I know, you've tried all of this stuff and ..."

"It's okay, Jack!" she smilingly answered him. "Wow, for a moment there, you had me worried that you were going to break up with me!"

"Why would I do that, when I'm with the only girl, I can see myself with?" he told her with what was the fakest of smiles, even if parts of what he said to her would have surely been true, if he'd been straight! In any case, his lie/compliment made her practically glow with joy, so there was that tiny thing to say for it.

"I can't say that I'm not surprised, but you being a virgin doesn't have to come between us! I thought by now, you would have known me better, than to think that it could!" she half-joked, before they shared a small kiss, where he tried to imagine it being Markus Schenkenberg's lips, his own were pressed up against. Which, to some extent, worked for him.

"I like you a lot, Jen, but you've tried all of this wild and crazy sex-stuff, that I've only heard about! You can't blame a guy, for thinking his thoughts now and then about it" he said to her, again walking a fine line between lying his butt off and relaying to her some of the concerns, that he'd legitimately had, when it came to dating a girl with her kind of past.

"Jack, I'm being completely honest with you, when I say that I wish, I hadn't done by far the most of that stuff. They were the actions of a, thanks to how much her parents had horribly messed her mind up, love-starved and screwed up girl, who was kidding herself into thinking, that what those one-night hook-up's gave her was real love, when all most of those guys did, was take advantage of how young and at times, incredibly naïve, she was. The good side to that, is that I already know, that isn't who I want to be and I'm also not as ashamed of what I did, as most of those in my family seem to think, I should be. All I can assure you, is that anything and everything we do together, will be by miles more important to me, than anything I did back in NYC. And do you know why?" she asked him with a cute little wink of her eyelashes, like she hadn't just made him feel even more sorry for her, with every word that had just come out of her mouth.

"I can't say, that I do!" he replied with a lump in his throat, since he had gut feeling, what was coming next.

"Because none of those guys treated me anywhere near as good or were as healthy for my mental health to be with, as you are. To them, I was just another notch on their bedpost, but you're so different from them, that it's sometimes amazing to me, that through and through decent guys like you, are the same species, as they are! This is the first time in my life, where I can brag to my friends, that I'm in the kind of caring and loving relationship, I've always dreamt of being blessed enough to be in. It's all thanks to you and as another first for me, I can't help thinking that I'm falling in love with you".

"This is your final chance, you lousy excuse for a coward! She's just admitted that she's falling in love with you, which was precisely what you didn't want to happen, so just say those two little words out loud! I'm gay!", he loathingly thought to himself, even if he already knew within himself, that his best window for coming clean to Jen, had already come and gone.

"I'm gay" should have been the words, he said. The only two that came out though, were "You are?"

"Definitely! Just between us, with how long it's been since anyone has touched my naughty places, I'm basically starting out from zero again, just as much as you are!" she tried to ease his fears by saying. "If you don't think it's too personal to answer, how far have you gone with a girl? Are we talking under the bra, or under the panties?"

"I almost don't want to tell you" He blurted out, although her asking him so openly, made another idea pop into his head. Not that it could be called a good idea as such, but in this particular situation, it just could work. For a short while, anyway.

"There are no right or wrong answers. You can tell me the truth and I promise that I won't make fun of you".

"Second base" he answered her, lying his behind off in every sense of the word. He didn't want to lie to Jen, more than he absolutely had to. On the other hand, if he told her that he'd gone all the way a couple of times with his long-time ex-girlfriend, she would likely be asking for the same thing before long. This way, he could at least buy himself some valuable time, before them not going all the way could become a real issue.

"We can work with that, no problem!" she reassured him. "And if we have to take it slow, that's what we'll do! I want to be in this relationship for the long haul, and if I have to wait a month or two, before we get to the really fun stuff, it just means I have that much longer, to look forward to it!".

"You'll have to wait longer than a month!" he quickly said, knowing that he could use all of the time, he could buy himself, seeing as he'd now officially become Capeside's biggest low-life coward! At least, when it came to local fifteen-year-old gay boys, who absolutely were guilty of as charged, when it came to leading wonderful girls like Jen on! Girls, who even in his own opinion deserved so much better, than to be played for fools by guys, they unknowingly had no romantic future with.

"I'll wait three months, or four months, or even longer than that, if I have to! Maybe, if we reach a year, and we still haven't done it yet, you might hear some gentle nagging on my side, but it's still a long time until then!"

"Just be warned. I won't be as experienced, when it comes to what girls like to have done to them, as those other guys were".

"Again, I don't care! If you need some pointers, don't hesitate to ask, okay? It safe to say, that thanks to lots of trial and error, I've become somewhat of an expert! She said, just now realizing that she's outed herself as regular masturbator, to her brand-new boyfriend!" she quite adorably quipped, and for the first time in several minutes, it drew an honest smile from him.

"That's okay, Jen. It takes one to know one, isn't that what they say?" he quipped back and seconds later, the two of them were locked in a tight and warm embrace.

Of course, what Jen wasn't aware of, was that they probably thought about a lot of the same guys, whenever it was self-pleasuring time.

END OF CHAPTER FORTY-ONE

Chapter Text

"What have you got at the end of the day?

What have you got to take away?

A bottle of whiskey and a new set of lies

Blinds on the windows and a pain behind the eyes

Scarred for life, no compensations

Private investigations"

DIRE STRAITS (From the album "Love Over Gold (1982))

Sent: April 12th, 1999

From: That Witter Guy

To: A Girl Named Joey

Subject: Dawson is driving me nuts!

Hi, Sweetheart. Sorry, that I haven't been as active these past weeks, when it comes to this whole e-mail thing, as I'm sure you would have liked, but there's a good reason for it (and not only that computers and I are two things, I can't imagine ever going together like PeanutButter and jelly!).

With the movie being in full production mode, it also means that I've been practically working around the clock, either on schoolwork, the movie, or my job at "Screen Time" that I still need to keep up with, if I'm going to be able to afford getting my boat ready, so you and I can go out sailing in it this coming summer. If you're up for it, of course! Which in truth, I wouldn't have minded all that much, if it wasn't for Dawson and his entirely unrealistic expectations for exactly what, his movie will wind up becoming! Seriously, he's been driving me off the wall so much, that I've been finding myself often daydreaming about all of the various ways, I can tell him, that I've had enough and he can make his damned movie without me!

Please, at least tell me, that things are better on your end. I've started counting down the days to school ending and for once, it isn't just because I'm in serious need of a long vacation away from that place!

Your (somewhat frustrated) boyfriend

Pacey

Sent: April 12th, 1999

From: A Girl Named Joey

To: That Witter Guy

Subject: Poor baby!

Hi, Honey! It was nice to hear from you again, although I'm not too surprised, that Dawson is stressed out over his movie and is taking it out on you. I hate to say it, because the last thing I want, is for you to change anything about yourself, but sometimes, you're almost too nice for your own good. So, if he's really bugging you too much, just tell him from me to shut the heck up! If he has a problem with it, you can let him know that he can take it up with me personally, when I come home in a few months' time!

Over on this side of the Atlantic, it's been a relatively quiet couple of weeks, where I've been splitting my time between hanging out with my host family and their cat Zizou, as well as enjoying Emma for all she'd worth, while I have the chance to. You know that I'm looking forward to seeing you again, like I've rarely looked forward to anything before. That should go without saying. Still, I can't help thinking that I'll miss seeing and hanging out with her every day a whole lot, when I don't have the chance to anymore.

And don't work too hard, please! You need to save some energy too, for when I get home (wink, wink!).

XOXO

Joey

Pacey was already starting to regret, having said yes to being Dawson's producer/financial manager on the production of his buddy's movie, that had been given the working title "Creek Days". A title, that he'd tried several times to convince his old pal to change, since it said absolutely nothing about, what the actual content of the movie would be. The script, which he could call himself a co-author to (not that it made him special, since Dawson had been readily picking the brains of all of his friends, when he was writing it) told an on the surface basic, but in reality, quite complex love story. The lead character, Steven (you'll get three guesses, as to whom Dawson named him after!) is a high school sophomore in a small town, who's in a healthy, albeit very PG relationship with a girl named Marion (whom, after Pacey had been allowed to name her, had been given it after Indiana Jones' love interest in Pacey's own favorite movie, "Raiders of the Lost Ark"). All of this changes however, when a young femme fatale named Abigail (simply named that way, since having one of the main characters named after herself, was Abby's sole demand for helping out on the movie shoot) comes to town. This girl then turns Steven's life upside down, leading to him learning a valuable lesson about what truly matters to him, by the time we reach the end credits.

In all earnestness, Pacey had to give Dawson credit for coming up with such a both relevant and well-told story and at first, when the idea of being the movie's producer had been presented to him, he'd actually felt a little honored to be entrusted with such an important role. Especially considering that on Dawson's first movie, he'd only taken on the role as the "Monster of the Lake", since it would mean the least amount of work for him. However, now where he was experiencing what the life of a movie producer was in practice, he also couldn't get the shoot over with quickly enough.

After them having considered a handful of the boys at their school for the role of Steven, they'd settled on the one, who'd given the best audition, Chris Wolfe. As his unsuspecting girlfriend, they'd casted Andie, in spite of her brother's many objections, that she was trying to do too many things at the same time. One great thing that you could always be sure of with Andie though, was that she went into any and every project full of enthusiasm, and their hope was that her constant positivity and upbeat nature would rub off on everyone else, making the shoot a more enjoyable experience for everyone working on it, than it would have been otherwise. For the role of Abigail, they hadn't had much choice, since Dawson's "Investor" Hannah had declared, after she'd read the script through, that it was the only role in the movie, she could see herself in. Seeing as money talks (especially when you don't have enough of it), they had no choice except to give in to her demands, or they would have had to cut every expense they could, if it would even be possible to finish the movie at all, without her five grand to add to the five, Dawson could throw into it himself. The rest of the speaking parts had mostly been filled by friends and family, save for those that they didn't have anyone in their social circle, who could logically fill. All in all, their cast crew added up to a lean twenty, a very decent sized group (or so Dawson claimed), for a production of this small magnitude.

So far, in the week or so that they'd been filming, it had more or less gone according to the schedule, Dawson had written up. If all things went according to plan, they'd be finished in four weeks, after which Dawson was planning on starting the editing process, once his finals were over and done with. On this particular day however, they'd already fallen behind within the first hour, thanks to his pal's unachievable demands for close to perfect performances from a cast, made up entirely of boys and girls, who'd never acted in a movie before in their young lives.

"Abigail, we can't do this!" Chris said, reading the lines Dawson had written for this scene, where his character has to try to break up with his "Other Girlfriend". Sadly, Chris was without a doubt the best actor on their cast. Not that it said much!

"Why not?" Hannah, in the role of Abigail, replied. If Chris was their best actor, there was little doubt, who their worst actress was. Unfortunately, they also couldn't make their movie, unless they willingly gave in to each and every demand, she had.

"It's wrong, that's why! Don't you care about the idea of falling in love with someone and staying faithful to them, until you both shall pass?" Chris recited his lines.

"Steven, we're only fifteen years old! If far too soon for us to ... what's my next line?" Hannah said, drawing yet another of the many annoyed groans from Dawson, Pacey had already heard from him that day.

Dawson immediately called "Cut!", and his crew began to set up for another take. Pacey, as the one, who had to be the realist out of the two of them, pulled him aside for a small one-on-one talk.

"Dawson, I hate to be the one to lay bad news on you ..."

"Hannah totally sucks as an actress! I'm well aware of that fact, but in case the news hasn't reached you yet, I'm caught between a rock and a hard place here!"

"I know, but ... can't you try to talk to her and see, if you can't convince her to step down?"

"I've already tried a couple of times, but it's like talking to a wall! We'll have to make do with what we have, and that's just how it is" Dawson explained, putting the matter more or less to rest. "You'd think that with them being a real-life couple, they'd at least have a tiny bit of on-screen chemistry!"

"You don't think so either, huh?" Pacey asked, drawing a despondent headshake from his oldest friend.

"I'm starting to think that I need to cut some of their scenes together. Their big make-out scene, for example".

"Not that I'm trying to sound like the George Lucas to your Steven Spielberg here, but if there's one scene, they should be able to pull off realistically, wouldn't it be that one?"

"How did you come to that conclusion?"

"Don't you think that by now, they've had plenty of "off-screen practice"? After all, they've been a couple for almost a month now" he joked.

Dawson clearly wasn't in a joking mood though, and it didn't get better after the next two takes, that went pretty much the same way, all of the others had. When they finally got a take, that was close to usable, they stranded on the kiss between the two characters, that was planned to end the scene. If Pacey hadn't known better, he would have thought they were brother and sister, from how little it looked as if they wanted to make out with one another.

What surprised him most, however, was Dawson's far too emotional reaction to seeing them kissing. His face turned a bright red, the instant that his "stars" began locking lips, and he stormed off the set, claiming that he needed a five-minute break. What surprised him even more, was the smug look on Hannah's face, as she watched him leaving, like she knew something, no one else there did.

What on earth could Hannah possibly know, however, that even he, who supposedly was Dawson's number one confidant didn't? Not knowing annoyed Pacey immensely, and it gave him an idea.

To pay a visit to his dad down at the police station, after school was over.

"If nothing else, Abby. You'll always be a better actor, than your on-screen namesake!" Jen joked to Abby, while the production was on a small break. Abby, in return, let out a cute little giggle.

"Here we always thought that Francis Ford Coppola deciding to cast his own daughter in one of the main roles for "Godfather 3", was the worst casting decision of all time!" Abby quipped back.

"Nepotism is always an ugly thing! Hannah puts every other bad actor ever to shame though, doesn't she?"

"You can say that again!" Abby bluntly replied, just before they saw Jack come walking towards them.

"How's the shoot going?" he asked them with a friendly smile.

"Very slowly!" Abby answered him, making no qualms about it at all.

"Jen, I'm really sorry, but I have to cancel our date tonight. My dad is coming down for a last-minute visit, so me going out with you, or anyone else tonight is a huge no-go, I'm afraid" he told her, looking for all the world, like spending an evening in his dad's company was just about the last thing, he felt up for.

"Don't worry about it. Family has to be allowed to come first" she assured him, getting a small smile from him in return.

"You're the tops, Jen! If there was such a thing as a best girlfriend in the world award, you'd be a sure-fire winner!" he complimented her, before giving her a quick peck on the cheek and leaving them to do their work.

"Speaking of Jack, have you two ..." Abby began saying, before forming a hole with two fingers and sticking another of her fingers through it. "Yet?"

"Not even close to it! So far, we're talking one very short feel up, on top of three layers of clothing, and I wouldn't even have gotten that much, if I hadn't guided his hand all the way up there! I'm fine with taking it slow, don't get me wrong. It's just that ..."

"You're getting tired of your relationship moving along at a pace, where an elderly snail would deem it too slow?" Abby finished her sentence for her.

"I'm not asking for too much, am I?" she asked, drawing a headshake from Abby.

After a moment of thinking about it, though. It looked like her just as lovable, as she was small height-wise, friend, got an idea.

"Maybe, what you need to do is get some advice from someone, who's having more luck on that front, than you are" Abby said leadingly, piquing her interest.

"Like who? Not that I can't imagine that nearly every other girl with a boyfriend at our school, is getting felt up, more than I am!"

"Mary-Beth" Abby replied, making herself raise an eyebrow.

"Of all of the girls here, you could have mentioned, she would probably be my last choice! Mary-Beth? Do you really think that her and Dawson, arguably the two most virginal teenagers in all of Capeside, have gone much further, than I have with Jack?" she had to ask, seeing as just the idea of it sounded somewhat crazy to her.

"I don't just think it, I know it! Remember, how I told you that Pacey drove me home a handful of days ago? Well, when he did, we passed by a house, where we saw a couple going at it hot and heavy up against the window. Can you guess, who it was?"

"No way! Dawson and Mary-Beth?"

"I only caught a small glimpse of his face through the window, but it wasn't hard like it was hard to figure out, who the girl had to have been! No one says that you have to tell her, that I saw them, but it can't hurt to beat a little around the bush on the subject with her, can it?" Abby suggested, and maybe it was her own sexual frustrations calling the shots, but part of her figured that it couldn't hurt to try to pick Mary-Beth's brain and see, if she couldn't learn a thing or two from her.

Unlikely, as it might have been.

After a long day of shooting, an end had blissfully been called to it, or at least that was how Pacey saw it. How they were going to get through the rest of filming this movie, without himself wanting to quit, stood as a mystery to him, exactly like another thing did: Dawson's complete and total over-reaction to the screen kiss between Hannah and Chris. Surely, with how splendidly his buddy's relationship with MB was playing out, he couldn't be something as absurd, as actually jealous of Chris, could he? The very idea sounded nothing short of ludicrous to his own ears, still if there was one thing he'd learned from watching crime dramas over the years, it was that when the evidence points in a specific direction, you shouldn't entirely dismiss it either.

Seeing as he had a mystery to solve, there was only one logical source to go to. His dad, whom he caught up with, just as he was leaving the station for the day, no doubt to go on yet another bender down at "The Watering Hole".

"If it isn't my prodigal son, who's stopped by to pay his old man a rare visit!" his father sarcastically said, albeit still with the kind of slight smile on his face, that he only very rarely saw, when his parents were still living together.

One thing Pacey had to give this whole divorce thing, that his parents had gone through (especially now, where it had been finalized), was that the end result was that they both seemed far happier with their lives, than he could remember them having ever been before.

"Let's face it, dad. If I'm the prodigy of our little family, then we're in real trouble!" he quipped back, drawing a small laugh from his old man.

"You could have easily turned out a million times worse, than you have, Pacey! Did you just stop by to say hello, or is there another reason for this unexpected visit?"

"I was kind of hoping to pick your brain on something. A mystery, if you will".

"Is it something, us down here at the station should be looking into? Look, Pacey. I'm well aware that you and I haven't always been on the best of terms, but I'd still like to think that you would come to me, if you think there's something going on, I should know about".

"It's nothing like that! Say, that there's this guy and he has an overly emotional reaction to seeing a couple from our school kissing. What could that mean?" he asked his dad, while carefully keeping it as vague, as he could. With his own old man and Dawson's being long-time friends, word of any misdeeds could easily reach the ears of people, that his best friend wouldn't want to know too much about what's going on it his personal life. If such a thing was the case, like it most likely wasn't.

"Is he going through a bad break-up himself, or the loss of a loved one, perhaps? People, who are in an already weakened emotional state, can easily get upset over just about anything. I've seen it happen hundreds of times and it's only a natural human reaction".

"Not in this case. It came completely out of the blue too, so what's your guess?" he asked his father, who took a few seconds to think his answer over, before replying.

"In that case, my guess is that he either has a crush on this girl, or there's already something going on between them, that they don't want anyone to know about. If there's one thing that I've learned in my many years on the police force, it's that if there's such a thing as a logical answer, then it's also the usually also the truth".

Hannah and Dawson hooking up and behind Mary-Beth's back, no less? Pacey didn't want it to be true, but now that the thought had been put into his head, he also had to get the truth from the only source, that could give it to him. This was why he made his way from the police station down to Dawson's house, after he'd bid his goodnights to his dad and told him to take good care of himself.

After being let into the house by Dawson's mom Gail, he made his way up the stairs, where he found Dawson in his room, watching an old favorite of theirs.

"Weekend at Bernie's, huh? Have you really sunk that low?" he dryly joked, before sitting down in the same chair, that he usually sat in, whenever he visited his pal.

"After all of the figurative kicks to the balls, I've taken today, seeing the real thing happening to a dead guy over and over again, is oddly comforting" Dawson deadpanned in reply, and it wasn't like Pacey couldn't see, where he was coming from.

"Can we pause it for a minute or two? There's something rather important, I need to ask you".

"If it's about the movie, can't it wait until tomorrow?" Dawson sighed, being clearly not in the mood for anymore talking about their joint "Chaos Project", then he already had been forced to that day.

"It is and it isn't" he began, before Dawson put the movie on pause. "How do I ask this without possibly offending you?"

"You should know that better than I do by now! We've been friends practically since we learned how to walk, Pacey. I'd like to think that us being able to ask one another anything, goes both ways".

"In that case, I'll just ask you straight out. Is there something going on between you and Hannah, that you don't want everyone else to know about?" he asked and instantly, Dawson began trying to avert any kind of eye contact between them.

"What gave you that idea?" Dawson asked back so quietly, that if there'd been the slightest bit of background noise, Pacey wouldn't have been able to hear a word of it.

"Your reaction to seeing her and Chris kissing today. That wasn't a normal reaction for someone, who isn't supposed to know Hannah better, than as someone, who's invested a few grand into a project of his. If I'm being crazy, just tell me and I won't ever mention it again".

"Dammit!" Dawson suddenly let out and got up from his bed, to start pacing the room. "If you know, who knows who else knows about it by now?"

Pacey, as anyone in this situation would, needed a handful of seconds to regain his bearings, before asking anymore questions. All the while, his best friend looked for all the world, like his own was collapsing around him.

"I take it then, that Mary-Beth ..."

"No, and she can't ever know!" Dawson stated emphatically. "I should have listened to your warnings about Hannah, but I didn't. At first, it was just supposed to be a casual thing".

"Don't you mean a casual little affair, considering that both of you are technically dating other people?"

"Chris wasn't in the picture at that time. I swear, sometimes I think to myself, that the only reason she's with him, is to taunt me into doing something, I'll regret later!"

"Knowing her, I wouldn't bet against it! I hate to tell you, but you should have known it too".

"Pacey, the last thing I need from you right now, is a lesson on how important fidelity is in a relationship!"

"I'm sorry, but I just don't get it! You and MB are perfect for one another, so why look elsewhere, for what she was already giving you? Or maybe, it's that she wasn't giving you what you wanted?"

"I have to give Hannah, that she knew exactly which buttons to press, to make me fall headfirst into her trap. Trust me, it isn't like I haven't tried to break it off with her several times, but she seems intent now on making my life as miserable, as it can be".

"And if you do, she'll tell a certain girlfriend of yours what's been going on between you?"

"Bingo! You know that the last thing, I've ever wanted to do, is to hurt Mary-Beth, if there's any way, I can avoid it. It isn't her fault that her boyfriend screwed up and got himself sexually involved with a devil in disguise, as you so accurately named her!"

"It hasn't gone that far, has it?"

"It hasn't been far from it. Look, if there was a quick way out of this situation, where no one wound up getting hurt, I would have used it in a second, there just isn't. At least, not until Hannah skips town again, hopefully for good!" Dawson mused, before lying back down on his bed and burying his head in his hands.

"And what makes you think that will put an end to all of your troubles? Dawson, I know that me finding a first girlfriend, a few months before you did, doesn't make me a bigger expert on love and relationships, than you are. All I can tell you, is that if it had been myself, who'd messed up with another girl, I'd have to tell Joey about it sooner or later and most importantly, before she found out through someone else. All it takes is Chris or one of his friends finding out, and then it could be too late to tell the truth. If you still want to be with MB, that is?"

"Of course, I do! She's everything, I've ever dreamt of having in a girlfriend! Lord help me, but I've actually been daydreaming about what my future with her in it would look like!"

"A future, as in having a pair of kids of your own running around the house, a Volvo parked in driveway and worrying over how you'll make the next mortgage payment?" Pacey had to ask, seeing as he'd been guilty of thinking those same thoughts, when it came to himself and one Miss Joey Potter.

"The very same".

"In that case, you'll have to tell her. There's no way out of it, and I think, you know that deep down as well".

Dawson clearly didn't like the idea of it, but he didn't say anything to disagree either.

Jen had spent most of the rest of the day, since Abby came up with the odd suggestion of the year, wondering how she would bring up the subject of sex with a girl, who she'd so far rarely done anything, except for doing some loose small talking with. All she knew for sure, was that she couldn't just ask MB straight out, so she would have to work her way up to it, and as she came up to Mary-Beth's parents' house (one of the Victorian style villas, that had most likely been among the first houses built, back when all Capeside consisted of were a handful of houses inhabited by fishermen and their families, who all survived almost solely on whatever amount of fish, they could manage to catch in the Atlantic ocean), she was wrecking her head with how to go about it.

"What brings you here, Jen?" Mary-Beth sweetly asked, as she let Jen into the house.

"I have a problem, that I need an expert opinion on, you could say" Jen replied, not wanting to say too much, when MB's parents could be listening in on their conversation.

"Do you mean like, a school problem?"

"You could say that. It isn't something, I want everyone to hear about though, so if there's a place, we could talk in private, perhaps?"

"Sure thing!" MB cheerfully answered her and it wasn't many moments later, that Jen found herself up in MB's very girly looking room with just about the most unlikely girl, to get advice on how to get a guy into bed with you, that she could possibly come up with.

"It's a nice room, you have here" Jen said, figuring that starting off with a small compliment wouldn't be the worst way to start. She wasn't lying either, even if MB's room probably closely resembled most of the teenage girl rooms in Capeside to a T.

"Thanks. Do you need help with your homework?"

"It's nothing like that! Although, I guess, you could call it "Homework"! You know how Jack and I have been dating for around a month now ..."

"It has caught my attention a time or two, yes! He seems like a really nice guy, from the few times, I've talked to him so far".

"He so is and everything between us is close to perfect! Except, we haven't been what you can call "Getting Physical" yet".

"And you thought I was the girl to ask for advice on how to get there?" Mary-Beth confusedly asked, and it looked to Jen, like the idea of her being the one to ask, was as far out there to her present company, as Jen herself had first thought that it would be. "Aren't there other girls, you could ask, who have a lot more experience in that field, than I do? They can't be all that hard to find!"

"So, you and Dawson haven't ..." she began asking leadingly. Just the fact that Mary-Beth blushed just at the suggestion of it though, told her pretty much all she needed to know.

"Not yet! I mean, of course, I'm hoping that it'll happen someday, but ... I probably shouldn't say anymore!"

"I completely understand. If you feel like I've overstepped some kind of boundary here, then I'm really sorry" she apologized, even if the answer she'd been given back, had also raised a whole bunch of new ones, that she was far more curious to get into the truth of.

"We've done other stuff, it isn't like that. But, to go from there to actually "Doing It", is just far too big of a step for me right now. Does that make me a prude?" Mary-Beth asked her very innocently and clearly not like a girl, who would do such a thing where others could be a witness to it, in all of its glory.

"Not at all!" Jen blurted out, feeling like she needed to reassure MB, that she was as normal, as can be. "I started out way too soon, and I wouldn't wish that on anyone, let alone someone like you".

"You mean us prudes?"

"You're not in any way a prude, because you want your first time to be special, like it should be, Mary-Beth. Don't let anyone, not even Dawson, try to convince you otherwise!" she reassured a smiling MB, who looked very relieved at hearing it said that way.

As it turned out, Jen ended up staying for over two hours and by the end of her little visit, she'd become certain of two things. One, that MB, in spite of how bookish everyone saw her as, was actually a really cool girl in her own way and someone, she could easily see herself becoming much closer with in the future. And two, that the girl, whose bare butt Abby caught a glimpse of in the window that evening, couldn't possibly have been her.

Which begged the question, of course. If it wasn't MB, then who was Dawson getting it on with behind his girlfriend's back?

END OF CHAPTER FORTY-TWO

Chapter Text

"Whatsoever I've feared has come to life

And whatsoever I've fought off, became my life

Just when every day seemed to greet me with a smile

Sunspots have faded, now I'm doing time

Now I'm doing time

´Cause I fell on black days

I fell on black days"

SOUNDGARDEN (From the album "Superunknown" (1994))

S

Sent: April 18th, 1999

From: Jen Rocks

To: A Girl Named Joey

Subject: The plot thickens!

Hi, Joey. How's it going? Here in Capeside, it's been an interesting week to say the least! Remember from my last e-mail, how I told you that I'm pretty sure Dawson has been cheating on Mary-Beth? Now, granted, it wasn't myself, who saw him in that window and although, Abby says that she's sure, it was him that she saw, she only caught a small glimpse of him and in passing, no less, which is why I've decided to find out for sure, what exactly is going on. Our plan therefore (myself and Jack's) is to do a stakeout of the house tonight and see who shows up there. It's a long shot, I know, but in any case, it's a good excuse to spend some alone time together, like we haven't had enough of for my liking this past week or so. Whatever happens, I'll be sure to keep you posted on the outcome.

The only other interesting news is that my mom called Grams to hear, if I'd be interested in coming home to NYC for the summer. On one hand, it's comforting to know that my folks haven't entirely forgotten about me but seeing as she can't handle talking to me personally yet, experience tells me that it's far too soon for us to take a large step like that. Of course, if someone, say a girl, who'll be home from France by then, offered to come with me and act a buffer of sorts between us, I could be persuaded to try spending an extended weekend down there? I don't want you to feel obligated to do it, but I can't help thinking that if I brought a goody-two-shoes like you with me, it could be exactly what the doctor ordered for me and my estranged parents.

In any case, I just hope you're doing awesome!

Jen.

Sent: April 19th, 1999

From: A Girl Named Joey

To: Jen Rocks

Subject: re: The plot thickens!

Hi, Jen. First of all, if I can do anything to help you mend fences with your parents, it should go without saying, that I will! We'll have to fit it in with my summer school though, but I can't imagine, there'll be any issues with it, to speak of. Pacey might get a little jealous, seeing as you'll be stealing me away from him, but after being without me for half a year, I'm sure that he can make it through an extended weekend on his own!

I have to admit that I'm finding it extremely hard to believe, that Dawson would cheat on MB, considering how upset he got, when he found out about his mom's affair last year. Part of me doesn't want it to be true, but if it is, at least promise me that you'll try to keep things as private, as you can. Don't forget that Capeside is a small town and that the things you do aren't forgotten as easily there, as they are where you come from.

Here in Toulouse, it has been another rather quiet week. Emma's ex Trevor (who I told you about us staying with, when we were in Paris) came for a visit this past weekend, so we had a fun time playing tourist guides for him, now that he was finally on our "Home Turf". Emma and he are obviously still pretty hung up on one another, but with her heading home to England after the schoolyear is over, while he'll be staying in Paris, they've made the smart decision to keep their relationship on a purely platonic level, for now at least. With finals approaching rapidly as well, I have to spend whatever time is needed on my schoolwork, in order to be ready for them.

Best of luck on your stakeout!

Joey

"This is bad! As in, really bad!" a despondent Abby told Pacey, only minutes after they'd been given their latest report cards. She'd brought home worse ones before, it wasn't that. In those cases, though, the only one that she had to show it to was her mom, and she knew from experience that if she waited until her mom was drunk enough, it would be signed with barely a glance at what her grades had been. This time, she had to bring it home to Bessie, and with how much everyone had been on edge, since Mike (Joey and Bessie's dad) got paroled, there was no saying how she'd react to an even for Abby, honestly measly showing like this.

"I guess, you'll be joining me and Joey in summer school, then?" Pacey asked.

"It sure looks like it! Maybe, I can change a few of those D's into B's, without her noticing" she mused to herself, which only drew a small laugh from Pacey.

"And see if you can get one past Bessie? Abby, take it from someone, who's known "Sherlock Potter" since he was six! She'll notice it in a second and all you'll have done, is make an already bad situation worse" her friend explained to her, and she knew that he was likely to be right, little as she wanted to admit it.

"Isn't his just the best day ever?" a widely smiling Jen, who'd been waiting for them to pass by her locker, asked them.

"Someone's in a great mood! Could it have something to do with her having a date with her boyfriend tonight, I wonder?" Pacey teasingly asked Jen, whose smile had practically been plastered on, since Abby had first seen her that day.

"At least, one of us is having a day to remember, for all of the right reasons!" Abby sarcastically answered, before Jen could fall into yet another of her lengthy spiels, over how crazy she was about Jack.

"Your report card wasn't anything to write home about then, I take it?" Jen asked her.

"I believe that the word you're searching for is "Cataclysmic"! Summer school, here I come!" she depressed told Jen, whose smile finally faded a little.

"Maybe, it won't be that bad" Jen tried to reassure her, even if it wasn't helping much.

Seeing as the restaurant was undergoing it bi-annual fumigation that day (a natural consequence of lying as close to the ocean, as they did) and she would have rather preferred to get the worst part of her day over with as fast as possible, than putting it off, Abby headed straight home after school.

Unfortunately (or fortunately, depending on how you look at it), the only one home was Mike, who was busy fixing their washing machine, that had once again decided to go on one of its many recent strikes.

"Making yourself useful, I see?" she jokingly asked him.

"I may as well, now that the restaurant is closed for the day. How was school?" he asked back, even if it didn't look like, it interested him all that much.

"It was school. What more is there to say about it?" she dead panned, drawing a small smile from Mike, whom she otherwise hadn't seen smiling all that much, ever since he moved back in with them.

"Bessie and Bodie decided to use the opportunity to take Alexander down to the playground, so he could work off some of all of that excess energy".

"He certainly has more than his share of that! Did they say when they'll be back?"

"They've been gone for a few hours, so it shouldn't be all that long. Do you need their help with something?"

"Not really" she told him, not wanting to divulge too much to a guy, she still hadn't had more than a few conversations with in private.

"I know that we're still practically strangers, Abby, and that it has to be weird for you, all of a sudden having me living here with all of you. Don't think that it isn't weird for me too".

"That's understandable. I'm guessing that this wasn't your dream scenario, when you were ..." she began saying, before stopping herself, when she remembered Joey's advice not to bring up either the subject of prison, or the time, he'd spent there.

"In the big house?" Mike asked, finishing her sentence for her.

"I'm sorry for bringing it up. If it were me, I'd probably want to forget all about it, as fast as I could" she told him truthfully.

"I don't. Look, Abby. No one knows better than me, how much I messed everything up for not only myself, but just as much for those I love. Prison, jail, the big house, whatever you want to call it, only made me that much more determined to become a better man from now on and for the rest of my life. If that includes facing up to the ghosts of my past, it's what I'll have to do. You're sure, there isn't anything, I can help with? I know that I'm no Bessie or Bodie, but I was the father figure in this house for a long time, before I threw all of it in the trashcan, when I got busted" Mike kindly asked, and she figured that there was no harm in seeing, if she couldn't learn a trick or two from him, that would help ease the process of telling Bessie, that she would have to attend summer school. A prospect, Abby definitely wasn't looking forward to!

"How would you tell her something, you know that she doesn't want to hear?"

"That depends. Are we talking something like having broken a plate at the restaurant, or the kind of thing that could have long-term consequences?"

"I'd say that it falls somewhere in the middle, leaning towards option number two".

"In that case, I'd tear off the band-aid and get it over with. You could try to butter her up first, but knowing my daughter and how perceptive, she usually is, she'll pick up on something being off, long before you'll get around to telling her, what you need to" Mike answered, and Abby knew that he was probably right, too. Just from the half a year or so, that she'd lived with Bessie, Bodie and Alexander, one thing that had become clear to her was that if you tried to keep anything a secret from Bessie, the likelihood of it still being a secret a week later, was practically zero to none.

Knowing this and that going a whole summer of pretending to be doing other things, whenever she had to be in summer school and was expected to pull her weight at the Ice House as well, was a no-go, only left her with one choice.

When Jen had first come up with the idea of doing a stakeout of the house, where Abby supposedly had seen Dawson getting it on with some "Mystery Girl" (whom his "girlfriend" had later found out couldn't have been Dawson's girlfriend Mary-Beth), Jack had mainly said yes to helping her for two reasons. The first, and main reason, was to at least try to be a nice boyfriend towards a girl, he was now basically playing for a fool by making her believe, that they could have a potential future together. For as much as he'd tried to be into the idea of making out with her and work it up in his mind to be the greatest thing ever, once they got down to it, the story was always the same. His "Little Buddy" down between his legs reacted to her kisses, like it did to watching grass growing or paint drying, and his fantasies almost instantly jumped to it being some handsome male celebrity, who'd taken Jen's place. Not even that though, made it anything resembling an enjoyable experience for him and the one time, she'd grabbed his hand and made him feel her breast up had (even if it was on top of several layers of clothing) almost made him feel like he was violating her trust, by pretending that he was into it, when he was the complete opposite of it. Plus, he had already gotten his driver's license and could use his mom's car, practically whenever he wanted to, a pair of small luxuries, that Jen would still have to wait a little over a month until her own sweet sixteen, until were afforded to her.

The second reason was simply to get his mind off all of the other problems in his life, most of which were rooted in his immediate family. Neither himself or Andie had told any of their friends, but the fact was that their mom's ratio of good to bad days had, after a short period of things beginning to shift in the right direction for her, noticeably shifted in a negative direction lately. Three times over the past month, they'd had to have her mom's psychologist drive up from Providence to administer sedatives to her, because Andie and himself been terrified, that she'd become a danger to herself and would do something drastic, that couldn't be easily forgotten, or reversed afterwards. In what felt to him like a cruel twist of fate, it had become the siblings, who were being punished perhaps worse than anyone, after losing their brother, and while Jack had become hardened enough over the past year, that it would take something close to the literal end of the world to rock his world too much, Andie was another story. It constantly worried him, how these events were affecting her already fragile mind, that was still healing itself after her total and utter mental breakdown half a year earlier and the thought alone that she could end up right back where she was, when things were at their lowest and worst for her, terrified the living hell out of him, more than anything similar happening to himself ever could.

This was also why he, in spite of it being against his own common sense, had agreed with her that their dad should come up for weekend visits, whenever his busy work schedule permitted it and this week, he'd (for once in a rare while) taken most of Friday off from work and had already arrived in Capeside, by the time they got home from school.

"How's it going, Jack?" his dad asked Jack, who was in the living room and doing what little homework, he'd been given for the weekend, so that he could simply enjoy the rest of it, without having it hanging over his head.

"Okay, I guess" he answered his dad, who sat down on the couch next to him, not caring that his son already had his head buried in his schoolbooks.

"Can you put the books away for a while? It's been too long, since you and I had a conversation that lasted longer than a handful of minutes, at the most" his dad requested and seeing as Jack was nearly done anyway, he did as his dad wanted him to.

"How are things at work?" Jack asked, not that he didn't already know what the answer was likely to be.

"That's one of the main things, I need to talk to you about. I figured, that if anyone will take the news in a calm way, it would be you, so I'm hoping that you can be my ally, when it comes to telling your mom and sister. I was informed last week that the office, I work in, is being downsized" his dad told Jack with a grave look on his face, that said all too clearly how he felt about the whole situation.

"What does that mean, exactly?"

"In short, it means that with the exception of a couple of those at the very top, who have been offered replacement jobs at other branches of the company, all of us working there will effectively be fired, when their lease on our building runs out at the end of next month. Jack, I know that it sounds bad and it sure wasn't how I wanted my career there to end, but it's been in the air for the past couple of years, that at least one of the North-East branches would get shut down and ours probably won't be the only one" his dad calmly explained, while Jack tried to let it all sink in.

"I'm sorry, is all I can say" he replied to his dad, who allowed himself to smile a tiny bit.

"Thanks. Will you help me tell Andie and your mom?"

"Sure, dad. Not to sound selfish here, but how will this impact mom, Andie and I?"

"It's not in any way selfish to ask that, Jack. If anything, I'd say that it's completely understandable, if you're a little worried right now. I can't say that I'm not right there with you, considering that I'll have to get out on the job market, for the first time in close to thirty years and I'm not as young, as I was back then, where I could have taken any job in my field and would have been more than happy, just to be working. In case that I don't find a job before the office closes, the first thing that will probably have to go is our house back home in Providence. The payments on this place aren't cheap and we've only barely begun to pay back our bank loan on it, so paying high mortgages on two houses at the same time makes no sense, from a purely logical standpoint".

"You're not thinking about selling this house, are you?" Jack had to ask, seeing as moving back to Providence right now, was just about the last thing, he felt like doing.

"It wouldn't make any sense to, for several reasons. For one thing, the property values in Providence have risen quite a bit over these past several years, so we should get a far better prize for it, than what we paid. The other and most important element to that decision, is your mom. I couldn't for the life of me ask her to go back to living there, after everything that happened with Tim. No matter what happens, our main goal as a family is still has to be, to get her back to her old self again. Nothing can ever change that!" Jack's dad told him imploringly and for all of his dad's faults, not to mention the untold number of disappointments in him, Jack had felt since Tim died, he knew that his dad wouldn't lie about something as serious as this.

"I guess, you'll be coming to live with us full-time, then?" Jack asked, although he could already guess, what the answer would be and not one, he'd want to hear.

"Right now, it looks that way, but there's still close to a month and half for me to find a new job down there, so it's nothing to go into a panic over just yet. Hopefully, with my resume that shows me as a dedicated employee, who's never stepped out of line and always did his best will be enough to land me a job in my field, that also pays enough for us to be able to keep both houses. Stranger things have been known to happen; you know?" Jack's dad told him with a small wink of his eye, to pretend at least, that he himself found it plausible, like Jack's sixth sense told him that it probably wasn't.

"I'll keep my fingers crossed for you and I'm sure, I can say the same for Andie and mom".

"I'm sure, too. By the way, are you going out on a date with your girlfriend tonight or are you staying home for dinner?" his dad asked with a kind smile, that for once showed how happy he was for his son.

"Was it mom or Andie, who told you about Jen?"

"Both of them. Although, I wish, you'd been the one to tell me. Why did you feel like you needed to hide from me that you've found, from what your mom and sister tell me, is a very sweet and lovable girl, that you've fallen head over heels for?"

"I don't know. Maybe, it's thanks to what happened with Tim, that it still doesn't feel right to act, like I've moved on from it" Jack answered, giving the best reason that he could, that wasn't "I'm actually gay and also ashamed of myself, that I've been more or less accidentally made a straight girl fall in love with me". In any event, it made his dad look at him with a kind of understanding in his eyes, that he hadn't seen in him, since before Tim passed away.

"I know exactly what you mean, son. It took me months, before I allowed myself to smile again, after we lost him and even then, it was only to satisfy some people at work, who were getting worried over my always depressed state of mind. Still today, it feels like I'm living in this limbo, where I haven't given myself the pleasure of living a normal life yet and when that'll go away, is impossible to say. That you've managed to take the first step and it's thanks to something as great as teenage love, is nothing to be ashamed of! In fact, it's something, all of us should celebrate, because you're showing the rest of us the path towards healing, Jack! And, you know what? If Tim could have been here, he'd be saying the same things, I am right now. I can only hope for your sister, that she finds someone, like you've found in that girl. Jen, was it?"

Jack had to take a moment or two, before answering his dad's question, even if it was just about the simplest question, he'd been asked in his life. He'd, practically for as long, as he could remember, felt like his dad had seen Tim as his "Number One Son", most likely because Tim had been their first born and on top of that, the kind of son that almost any parent would look at and have no reason to be anything, except for filled with pride. Jack couldn't say that about himself and the way that he'd slowly become more introverted, as he'd grown up, had sometimes left him with the feeling, that his dad was disappointed in him. To be praised like this and told that he, who had sometimes felt like the red-haired stepchild of the family, was showing the way for everyone else in their family, was therefore in many ways both an honor and a tough pill to swallow at the same time.

After all, his dad wouldn't be heaping all of this praise on him, if he knew that Jack's whole relationship with Jen was based on a rather huge lie.

Abby was back in a familiar situation to her: Having run away from home and feeling like, she had nowhere to go. Bessie, for lack of a better term, had blown a gasket, when Abby had told her the news about herself having to attend summer school and had threatened to kick her out of the house, when Joey came back. Not that she'd said so in so many words, but it had been the gist of what she'd said and it now had Abby in a situation, where she didn't know if she'd been bought or sold. Part of her had long feared, that something like it could happen, if nothing else for purely logistical reasons. In many ways it was the perfect size house, if you were four people living there and living five people there was still possible, but six was clearly one too many and it would lead to little conflicts happening all of the time, if it was tried. If there was one thing the past few weeks had shown, it was that it would be nearly impossible to make work.

That of course left the question of where to go to, to find a bed or just a floor to sleep on, for the night? Going to her mom's house was out of the question, considering that she was likely to be deep into her daily alcohol intake already and was still a little bitter, that Abby had refused to come back to live with her, after she'd gotten out of the hospital. Like many alcoholics, from what Abby could tell, her mom was great at forgetting all of the bad things she'd done, especially if they'd been done while she was under the influence and an evening of listening to her excuse herself from all of the things that had gone wrong in her life, like they were someone else's fault entirely, would have been pure torture for Abby to have to sit through and still keep her mouth shut, in order not to get kicked out again.

Then, there was the video store, that she could try her luck with in a tight pinch, but with her already knowing that Dawson was having a trainee there on this evening (seeing as he'd complained loudly over it, when they'd quickly talked about his movie at school earlier that day), it likely wouldn't be the best choice. She couldn't go to Melissa's house either, since Melissa and her folks were visiting some family in the next town over and wouldn't be home until late in the evening. Jen was out on a stakeout with Jack and she didn't want to go to Grams' house to beg for a bed for the evening, when they hadn't had more than twenty conversations with one another, by far the most of which had been very short. There was Pacey's house of course, but it was practically on the diametric opposite side of town and if he wasn't home, then she'd be asking a woman, she'd only talked to a few times before, for a place to sleep. Arguably, her best choice was to go to the house, that Jen and Jack were "staking out", but for one thing it was an over five mile hike up and down several small hills in a pair of shoes, that definitely weren't meant to be used for that purpose and for all she knew, they could have already seen, what they needed to see and long ago driven off to somewhere else, by the time, she got there.

With her not knowing what else to do to pass the time, until either Jen plausibly would be home from her date/stakeout with Jack, Abby went down to a familiar spot, where she used to hide out, whenever she wasn't welcome back at her mom's house. The same place, where her life had forever changed for the better, on the evening when Pacey had found her down there.

What Jack exactly had expected, when he'd agreed to go on a stakeout with his girlfriend, was hard to say, but it hadn't involved himself being as bored out of his skull, as he was. To make it worse, he'd agreed to without thinking about it, that Jen could choose the music for the evening, which she'd apparently decided to use to expose him to some of the music that she'd been into back in New York. In other words: Lots and Lots of Angry Girl Rock! After having listened to what felt like it had been a whole day (and in reality had been less than two hours) of songs by girls, who had clearly all been outsiders back in high school, where they were either foully badmouthing the kind of girls, they didn't like or, in all kinds of not-so eloquent ways, belting out all of the frustrations they had with the male gender as a whole, he already felt like he'd sat through enough of it for a lifetime already!

"We should probably turn off the music to save on the battery. I like it, it's not that, I just don't want to get stuck here!" he lied to her, seeing as he didn't want to ruin the great groove, the music had clearly put her in.

"Can't you just fire up the engine?" she suggested back, making him curse his bad luck, that someone had wizened her up on how car batteries work!

"It ... ehm ... wouldn't be very undercover of us, to stay parked here with the engine turned on. It's not good for the environment either!" he tried with and luckily for himself and his ears, it also worked, and she shut off the noisy music.

"Aren't you the environment's prime champion? This is a waste of time! No one has shown up at that house for two hours and with our luck, not a soul will!" Jen thought out loud, just before something interesting finally happened! A car, with what looked in the near darkness like was a male and a female figure, pulled up to the curb and out stepped two people, that it took them until they stepped into the streetlights, to begin to recognize.

"The girl is clearly Hannah, but who's the guy?" he had to ask.

"I'm pretty sure that his name is Warren. I've never talked to him, but he tried to convince the entire school that Joey had sex with him, after she turned him down".

"What a charming guy!" Jack blurted out, although it didn't surprise him, that such a thing could happen in a place like Capeside, where the social rules of high school hadn't changed all that much, since the days of the sexual revolution.

"She told Abby that he got her pregnant and after Abby had begun to spread the rumor, it made him 'fess up to everyone. Strange as it may sound, it actually became one of the defining moments in mine and Joey's then-budding friendship!"

"You're right. That does sound strange! The questions are, what's he doing here with Hannah ..."

"Does Chris have any idea, that Hannah is sleeping around on him ..."

"And is this some sort of love nest, that basically everyone can use for an evening of bedtime fun?" he suggested, making Jen smile to herself.

"Are you saying that I should ask Dawson tomorrow, if we can use it sometime this week?" she teasingly asked him, which probably made him blush a little.

"I didn't mean it like that! Not that I don't ..."

"It's okay, Jack! I don't want to ruin this thing between us, by rushing headfirst into something, we're obviously nowhere near ready for, any more than you do. Plus, as fun as your little theory sounds, I have to doubt it. Isn't the only logical answer that it's only Hannah, who's using it as her own little love-nest, as you so poetically put it?"

"You don't think that Dowson would sleep with her, would you?"

"I mean, I could be wrong, and Mary-Beth is by a country mile the finest actor on the face of the earth, but my natural in-grown sense of logic tells me otherwise! Not to mention, who else among the students at Capeside High is stinking rich enough at our age, to be able to rent a house that size? My guess is that there's only one of them and her initials are HVW!" Jen stated firmly, right before their attention was turned away, when they saw a familiar vehicle come driving towards them. The 4x4 that Joey's family owned and drove almost everywhere, they went.

As it pulled up next to them, they saw that it was only Bodie, who was sitting inside of it.

"I thought that was you, Jen" he said, after they'd rolled down the windows, so they could talk. Thankfully, both Hannah and Warren had already headed inside of the house, so there was no chance of their cover getting blown. "Have you seen Abby tonight?"

"No, I've been here. Is she missing?" Jen asked Bodie, looking immediately concerned about her friend.

"Bessie lost her temper with her, so she ran away from home, the poor girl. I've been to Melissa's house, the video store, your house, even Pacey's house, trying to find her. Since I left Pacey's, I've basically just been driving around, hoping for some blind luck, but I haven't had any of it yet" Bodie worriedly answered.

"Have you tried her mom's house?" Jack suggested, but it only got him a headshake from both of the others.

"They aren't on the best of terms. I have one guess, as to where she could be, but we'll have to drive down there. It's right by the beach" Jen explained.

Up until a minute earlier, the subject of Abby's safety had been the furthest thing from his mind. Now, it was all he could think about.

Abby was bored to tears, just sitting down under that half-roof down by the beach by herself. Which, in turn, made it hard not to think too many negative thoughts about the ramifications this day could have on her entire future. Things had been going so well for her, and in less than a day, her entire life felt like it had been turned upside down, for the first time since the day where her mom had been in her severe car crash. She'd only just finished writing "Abby + Mellissa 4-Ever" in the sand, when she heard a familiar and welcome voice coming up from behind her.

"Jen told me that I could find you down here" Bodie said, and she quickly stood up, so they could talk face to face.

"She did, huh? Remind me thank her later".

"You'll get your chance soon. Her and her boyfriend are waiting for us up by the road. I hope, you know that Bessie didn't mean what she said about kicking you out. You're a part of our family now, it's just that ..."

"There isn't room for all of us in the house anymore. We don't have to try to hide it, it's just how it is and when Joey comes home for France, it'll only get worse!"

"We'll figure out a way, where we can make it work, I promise. It's just that right now, it's an adjustment period for all of us, which is why I have a suggestion for you".

"What kind of suggestion?"

"I spoke to Evelyn, Jen's grandmother, earlier tonight, and she'll be happy to offer you a bed at her house temporarily, until we work things out on a more permanent basis. Your only other choice is coming home with me, but it's all up to you".

It didn't take Abby many seconds to make up her mind and perhaps no one was more thrilled over this choice, than the girl that she would be sharing a house with for the immediate future.

END OF CHAPTER FORTY-THREE

Chapter Text

"Double trouble

T-R-O-U-B-L-E!"

LYNYRD SKYNYRD (From the album "Gimme Back My Bullets" (1975))

Sent: April 24th, 1999

From: Spielberg's Disciple

To: A Girl Named Joey

Subject: How it's all going.

Hi, Joey. I just thought, you might want an update on how the movie shoot is progressing. We had a rough start, there's little denying that part, but as things stand right now, it actually looks like we'll be finished more or less on schedule! Of course, I also know enough about moviemaking, to know that you usually end up having to do a handful of pick-up shots later on, still all in all, I have to say that with us being close to three fourths done, it's been a rather pleasurable experience so far! With finals looming ever closer too, we pretty much have to get it done in time, or just scheduling everything for a time, when everyone can be there, will in all likelihood become a nightmare.

I don't know if I should tell you or not, but Pacey has begun counting down the hours to your return (which is honestly a little impressive, considering how low his grades in any kind of math usually are), so you should probably be prepared to get smothered by him, when you come back here, at least for the first couple of weeks! Otherwise, I don't really have all that much interesting to write about. Then again, sometimes that isn't the worst thing in the world either!

Looking forward to seeing you soon!

Dawson

Sent: April 24th, 1999

From: A Girl Named Joey

To: Spielberg's Disciple

Subject: How it's going over here.

Hi, Dawson. As always, it was nice to hear from you and I'm stoked on your behalf, that your first "real" movie shoot has gone as much according to plan, as it has. I can't wait to help out on your next one, whenever it will be.

It doesn't surprise me that Pacey is counting down the hours, and I can't say, that I'm not guilty of the exact same thing! I mean, don't get me wrong, I'm looking forward like crazy to seeing all of you again. In his case, I'm just looking forward to it in a different way, if you get what I mean!

Oh, and just like it would have been back home, exam fever is beginning to set in over here as well, in a big way! Emma, whose French still isn't nearly as fluent, as mine has become, is seriously worried that she'll flunk one or more of her finals, just thanks to not understanding everything that's being said in them. So, we've been working intensely together on getting her language skills more up to par, to where she at least has the best chance, she can get, to pass her subjects.

Say hi to everyone from me and take good care of yourself!

Joey

"Marion, I've been such a fool! You're all that I've ever wanted, you have to believe me!" Chris recited his lines, while Andie (whom everyone on the crew agreed was doing a terrific job of playing off him, it should be added) got ready to deliver her character's defining moment in the movie. Chris, in spite of Dawson's initial reservations over hiring a walking cliche of a horn-dog like him, to play a fictionalized version of himself, had really stepped up to the plate as well and they'd already talked about having him star in Dawson's next movie project too.

"If I stay with you, what does that say about me, Steven? I can't forget about what you did with her, because you should have been doing all of those things for the first time with me! I would have too, if you'd only given me enough time to! You and her deserve one another! I can do better!" Andie recited her lines perfectly and filled with put-on emotion, before making her dramatic exit from his parents' living room, that he'd been allowed to borrow for one evening of using it as his set, for a handful of scenes.

"Cut! That was right on the money, you two! Picture perfect!" Dawson praised his two leading actors, who also got a round of applause not just from himself, but also the rest of the crew. Even Hannah, who on several other occasions had shown clear signs of jealousy, since Andie was obviously putting her own acting abilities to shame.

After they were done shooting the rest of the scenes, they'd planned to get shot that evening, the crew had quickly begun to disperse, seeing as all of them had to get up early and get to school the day after. Hannah had asked him earlier, if they could talk after everyone had left and he'd been looking forward to it like he would a trip to the dentist, but he couldn't refuse her either, no matter how much he'd slowly begun to loathe her over the past months.

"Whatever you need to talk about, can we make it quick? I want to get a head start on editing the footage, we shot, before I have to catch some Z's" he asked Hannah, who was making herself comfortable on his parents' couch. Luckily for him, he still had over half an hour, before they came home from one of their rare dates, to get the biggest she-devil of the entire state out of their house.

"It's kind of cute, you know?" she said with a flirty smile, that did nothing for him.

"What is?"

"Seeing you being so enthusiastic over something, like a little kid enjoying their own birthday party. I mean this honestly, Dawson. You could actually become a someone in the movie industry someday, if this is an example of the kind of movies, you'll be making more of" she told him, in a way that seemed earnest, although he could never entirely tell with her.

"Thanks, I guess" was all he could think of saying.

"Dawson, I know that it could have seemed that way from how I've occasionally acted towards you, but I didn't get involved in a project like this, just to mess with your mind".

"You could have fooled me!"

"The only reason why I'm still involved is because you obviously have a rare talent, that needs to be nurtured in the right way. Have you ever considered leaving boring little Capeside High, that can't do anything to help those, who rise above the rest, for a school that can actually help you with developing the skills, you'll need to know, to make it in Hollywood?"

It wasn't like it hadn't crossed his mind a few times already, that compared to lots of the other young and talented filmmakers to be, who were attending those kinds of schools and living 24/7 in environments, that were productive to them chasing their dreams, he would have a distinct disadvantage, by the time he got to go to film school. His hometown could only offer a small handful of opportunities and even that was only if you knew how and when to take advantage of them but compared to if he'd lived in New York, London or Los Angeles, it was like comparing apples to oranges.

"I don't think that my folks could afford to send me to live in one of the big cities, with them having to pay for my tuition, rent, food ..."

"What if none of that was an issue, they'd have to think about? Dawson, one of the many charitable programs, my family is involved with, involves helping children and young people, who are exceptional gifted and just don't have the financial means, to become everything, they can be. As far, as I see it and I'm pretty sure that my folks would agree with me, you would be a perfect candidate" Hannah explained.

This time, he could tell that she meant every word.

"Why do I get the feeling, that there's a catch, you haven't told me about?" he calmly asked Hannah, who smiled slyly to herself.

"You're being careful. That's good! It means that I've actually managed to knock a thing or two about the harshness of life through your thick skull, over these past months! Look, I'll be completely honest with you. Capeside, for as small and insignificant, as it is in my eyes, is still the bread and butter of our family's riches. To make a long story short, it means lot to us, that our public image here is kept at an acceptable level, where the people living here year after year at least don't dislike us" Hannah began to explain.

"And you want to use me as your poster boy, for how much you supposedly care about the people of this place?" he asked, already not liking where this was going.

"I wouldn't be wasting my time on making this offer to you, if I didn't believe in you and what it's possible for you to become, Dawson! I'll be honest, at first, after I'd come back, I just saw you as yet another of those far-too-full of himself guys, that I couldn't wait to tear down to size!" she continued to explain, confirming something that he'd suspected for a while. "Do you know what none of those other guys could have done? What you've done here, by getting all of these people together to make a movie, that's actually worth an hour and half people's time! In case, it hasn't sunk in with you yet, you're doing something like this years before, most of your biggest idols even dared to attempt it! So what, if you have to do a hundred-word interview with the local paper, or be in a small local news segment hosted by your mom, where you thank us for the huge opportunity, that we've given to a local boy like you? There are plenty of schools around the country, where they know all about how to nurture and develop raw talents like you, and you can practically have your pick of them".

He didn't know what to reply, so shocked was he at this unforeseen development. All he knew was that as she got up from his parents' couch and walked towards him, his head became filled with dozens of conflicting emotions, very few of which were particularly pleasant ones.

"As I told you on our first evening together, knowing someone like me can open up a whole of doors for someone like you, Dawson" she continued, driving an already obvious point home. "And, if you need another incentive to say accept my proposal, how about this one? I'll let you off the hook, for every little sordid thing, we've done together. You'll be free to continue chasing the romance of a lifetime with Mary-Beth and you'll never have to worry, that I'll tell her anything. All we'll be are a pair of occasional business partners and nothing else".

"How do I know that you'll live up to your end of the deal? It's isn't as if you've done too much, to come off as trustworthy so far!"

"I never mess around, when it comes to doing serious business. It isn't in my blood!" she snappily bid him goodbye, before she seconds later was out of the door.

As if his life hadn't been complicated enough, here came another major curve ball being thrown into it!

Jen had spent a whole week waiting for the exact right time, to do what a strange inner sense of having to see justice be done, had her needing to do. She needed to tell Chris that Hannah was cheating on him.

What it was that made Hannah such an unsufferable bitch in her own eyes, when there were objectively worse girls than her at their school, was something that mystified even herself. She'd known so many "Hannah's" growing up in New York, that she could have filled a photo album with their pictures, but it was like there was an "Unlikableness X-Factor" to this Hannah, that made her stand out from all of them. Perhaps, it was the way she always had this aura around her, where it shone out that she felt like she was above everyone else, freshmen and seniors alike. The only time Jen had talked to her, that had been the impression she'd gotten from her, too.

It shouldn't have bothered her either, that Hannah was toying around with boys like Chris and Warren, who no doubt had been guilty of doing the same to their share of girls in the past. As Jen saw it, this was karma getting back at guys like them and whatever happened to them, was well-deserved.

But then, there was Mary-Beth, the one innocent victim in all of this. If anyone deserved to be told the truth, it was her and it was her that Jen used as her motivation, when she finally got a brief chance to talk to Chris in semi-private, in between their second and third class of the day.

"Can we talk, Chris?" she asked him cautiously, considering how their last conversation, months earlier, had ended with him (deservedly) shouting expletives at her.

"Princess Jen of New York wants to talk to one of her peons all of a sudden! Has hell frozen over?" he asked back sarcastically. He wasn't walking away though, so that was something, at least.

"Look, I'm sorry about the things, I said to you, the last time that we talked. I'd really like it, if we could start over".

"So, you can completely humiliate me in front of an entire hallway of people again, Jen? Do you have any idea how much I got ribbed on in the locker room for that little stunt of yours, for months afterwards?"

"I can imagine!" she nervously answered him, although she knew very well, that she probably couldn't.

"I don't think that you can! If we're going to have a conversation again about anything, you'd better give me a proper apology first. If you can't do that, then we have nothing more to talk about!"

Jen didn't really want to, especially since the unusual intensity of their little conversation was getting noticed by some of those around them. Since she didn't have any real alternative however, she had to swallow her pride for a brief moment.

"Okay, I'm really sorry, Chris! I didn't consider for a second how your jock buddies would react to what I said, but now that you've told me, I can see how much it must have royally sucked for you. Was that good enough?" she asked him and the small smile, she saw creeping across his lips moments after, told her that it was.

"You know, that's only the second time that a girl has ever apologized to me? Which is pretty incredible, considering the number of times, my parents made me apologize to the neighborhood girls, when I was a kid!" he half-joked and now Jen couldn't help smiling either.

"I bet, you were the worst of the worst! A real little hyper-active neighborhood menace!"

"You're not too far off, let me put it that way! Can you guess, who the first one was?"

"I have no idea".

"A seven-year-old Joey, after she'd thrown a rock that hit me square on the jaw! It hit me so hard, that it took over two weeks for the black mark to go away".

"Are you saying that compared to what she did, what I did wasn't so terrible?"

"In Joey's defense, she was only seven and was trying to get back at me, for having pulled her ponytail, in a way that had to have been very unpleasant for her! What did you want to talk about?" he asked, and now was the time for Jen to show what she was made of. How what she wanted to say next came out, could easily have been what defined their future relationship.

"Chris, I think that Hannah is cheating on you. With Warren. I saw them together" she tried to explain. It didn't look much like this was what Chris wanted to hear, though.

"When you say that you saw them together, what do you mean?"

"I saw them driving in his car" she further explained, carefully leaving out anything about how herself and Jack had spent an evening staking out a house. The more she heard herself though, the more she realized how flimsy her whole case sounded.

"That's all you're basing your assumption on?" Chris asked, looking like he didn't know what to think of it all.

"Abby also thought she saw him naked with a guy. Well, actually it wasn't her, who thought it. I found that out later ..."

"Which guy?"

"Dawson. She had her back turned though, and it was only for a second, that she saw his face".

As she almost should have suspected by now, seeing as the evidence her case rested on was just about the weakest in history, Chris couldn't help himself from chuckling.

"Let's sum this up, Jen. Just for the fun of it! You saw her and Warren driving in a car together and Abby maybe saw Hannah, with her back turned, nakedly making out with a dork like Dawson Leery? I don't know if I should laugh or cry, Jen! I really don't!" he told her, before walking away and leaving her standing there, annoyed with herself that she'd presented an adultery case to him, where she admittedly had nothing even resembling any concrete evidence against his girlfriend.

What were the chances now, that he would listen to herself presenting evidence against Hannah again, after how utterly terribly that had just gone? Practically in the toilet, that's what they were!

For practically the entire day, since he'd woken up, Hannah's proposal had kept replaying itself in Dawson's head. Could he really leave the safety of his hometown behind, to chase his dream in a big city? It wasn't like he'd have to go too far away, if he chose to take Hannah up on her offer. Say that he went to a film school in Boston, he would only have to be down there five days a week and could still be home to spend his entire weekend with his parents and old friends back here. Sure, he'd have to sell out a little, but on the scale of big sell-out's, this was as minor, as it got. You heard all of the time about small-town guys like himself, who'd found a rich benefactor, that helped them along financially and in reality, all he'd be saying yes to was taking a student grant, nothing more. Something, that didn't make him any different from tens of thousands of other students in his home country.

There were other things that stopped him from saying yes, however. This wasn't just his home, it was where he had his entire support system. Not to mention that he was sure, that he'd end up missing Mary-Beth like crazy, if he could only see her two days a week, at the most. Seeing as she would likely be continuing as student body president next year, it also meant that it would take up a lot of her time, sometimes in the weekends too. Just the thought that it could sometimes be weeks between them being alone together, made him think that it could wind up spelling the end of their relationship.

To take his mind off it all, and thanks to his friends all having other plans, he decided to spend his evening editing footage by himself in his room. It was a process that had become like second nature to him and quite relaxing, when he could find an hour or two to do it in peace. Before he knew it, it was almost nine o'clock and he was getting ready to call it a day, when there was a knock on his door. With him having done plenty of work for one evening anyway, he quickly packed his equipment away and opened it.

"Hi, Dawson. Can we talk for a moment?" Abby asked him, and as surprised as he was to see her there, at this time of the day no less, he couldn't refuse her either.

"What's up?" he asked Abby back, before closing the door behind her.

"Maybe, I should ask you that! You weren't playing with yourself, were you?" Abby teasingly asked, behind a wide smile.

"Abby ..."

"I'm just kidding! What were you doing?"

"Editing some of the footage, we shot yesterday".

"That sort of ties well into why I'm here. I have to hand in my resignation, when it comes to working on the movie. With finals coming up and me being so far behind in basically all subjects, that it isn't even funny anymore, I have to devote all of the time that I can to it" she told him rather sadly.

"Is fine, Abby. We're almost done with making the movie, anyway. Don't you worry about it!" he reassured her, making her smile a tiny bit.

"You've always been a nice guy, Dawson. I'll end up missing you, when I'll have to go and live with my aunt down in Kansas next year" she truthfully told him, before slumping down on his chair.

"You won't be staying here?" he almost stumblingly asked. Just a year earlier, a Capeside without Abby in it would have seemed almost too perfect, but now that he'd grown to like her, the thought took some getting used to.

"Where would I live? Grams is a sweet old lady, but I can't keep on taking advantage of her hospitality forever. My mom is less than a month away from spending the next many of them behind bars and with Joey coming home, there'll be no room for me at her house. I even tried calling my dad, to see if he'd take me in, but his new girlfriend apparently wasn't too into the idea of it. My aunt is my only logical choice left, even if it means leaving everything that I have here behind" she sullenly explained and as she did, his heart more and more went out to this poor girl, who was sitting in his comfy chair.

"We don't use our basement for much, except for storing old junk, most of which should have been thrown out years ago. Maybe, we could ask my folks and they'd let you make it a home of your own" he suggested and to his surprise, it made her give him a small hug.

"Don't you think that you need to ask your parents first, before you invite a girl, they barely know, to come and live in their home with them?"

"I'm sure that if I spin it the right way ..."

"You're very sweet to make me an offer like that, but we both know how that conversation will go. It's getting late, I should get home to Jen and Grams. See you tomorrow in school" she told him farewell, before leaving him alone with his thoughts once again.

One thing that had changed in them however, compared to prior to Abby's visit, was that it wasn't only his own problems, that were filling them anymore.

Jen had planned on taking an easy evening, where she could prepare in peace for her finals. When you live with Abby though, such a thing is close to being impossible and they'd ended up spending most of the evening watching and guessing along to game shows on TV, while they'd stuffed themselves with far too many pieces for their own good of Grams' famous apple pie, topped with plenty of vanilla ice cream, it goes without saying! She was slowly mentally preparing to go to bed, when their doorbell rang, an unusual occurrence for this time of the evening. Seeing as it probably wasn't for Grams, given that most of those she knew had already gone to bed, Jen rushed to the door, before Grams could remind her how late it was and that she needed her sleep, before school the day after.

One person, she hadn't expected to all of a sudden see at her door was Hannah, but it was nevertheless, who it was.

"Hannah. What are you doing here?" she nervously asked Hannah, who didn't look like she'd come there to exchange pleasantries.

"I have a bone to pick with you and the time for it is now!" a very angry Hannah replied.

Because she didn't want everyone else in the house to hear, Jen stepped out onto the porch and closed the door behind herself. Seeing as she was only wearing a pair of pajama bottoms, socks and a t-shirt though, it made her shudder for a second, when the chilly coastal evening air blew against her mostly naked arms.

"What this about?" Jen tried innocently asking Hannah, as if she didn't already know.

"You know! Why have you been trying to convince Chris, that I've been cheating on him?" Hannah accusingly asked, while also using classic body intimidation tactics, to really drive the point home, over the only slightly smaller Jen.

"Haven't you?" Jen asked back, standing her ground against this, the latest in the very short line of rivals in her life up to that point.

"Where's your evidence to this supposed adultery, then?"

"What were you doing riding around town with Warren?"

"We found out that we were heading in the same direction, so he asked if he could give me a lift and dropped me off on his way. Even if I'm already richer than ninety-nine percent of the population of this sorry town, I still have to wait until I turn sixteen and can get a driver's license, until I'm allowed to drive, you know?" Hannah fired back and it was hard, if not impossible for Jen, to come up with a proper comeback. At least, without admitting that she'd basically been illegally spying on Hannah. "And what's this about me and Dawson? Are you on some kind of much-needed prescription drugs, that you haven't been taking lately?"

"No, but ..."

"First of all, he already has a girlfriend, that he's crazy about! I don't have to sink low enough to go after guys, who are already taken, I'll have you know! I mean, why would I, when I can have any almost guy that I want here, practically at the snap of a finger?" Hannah continued, although she seemed to be heading off into bragging mode all of a sudden. Just as suddenly, Jen began getting an idea, that could just work.

"It isn't that easy! I tried without any luck for over half a year, before I found Jack".

"You can't be serious! I mean, with Warren, all it took ..." Hannah began bragging again, only too late realizing that she'd over spoken and busted herself.

"All it took was what, Hannah?" Jen asked and couldn't help be amused at seeing Hannah squirming, like she was now.

"You still can't prove anything!" Hannah almost yelled, before storming off over to the chauffeured car, that awaited her.

Even if she hadn't completely admitted it, this was as close to a confession, as Jen was likely to get from Hannah. As she watched one of Hannah's family's many cars drive off, thoughts of how she could use it to her own advantage kept running through her brain.

END OF CHAPTER FORTY-FOUR

Chapter Text

"Philosophy is the talk on a cereal box

Religion is the smile on a dog

I'm not aware of too many things

I know what I know, if you know what I mean, do you?

Choke me in the shallow water

Before I get too deep

What I am is what I am

Are you what you are or what?"

EDIE BRICKELL AND NEW BOHEMIANS (From the album "Shooting Rubberbands at the Stars" (1988))

Sent: May 4th, 1999

From: Jen Rocks

To: A Girl Named Joey

Subject: My very own personal spy, Jack!

Yo, Jo! Okay, I know that came off as just about the most "Lame White Girl Trying to Sound Cool and African American" way to get started on this e-mail, but thinking of new ways of writing "Hi, Joey" is becoming harder by the week!

So, what's going on is this: After Hannah sort of accidentally confessed her adultery with Warren to me, my brain immediately went into overdrive trying to think of ways, I can get Chris to believe me. Which, considering how incredibly awful my last failed attempt at it went, will take something out of the ordinary! Then suddenly, in the middle of chem class, it came to me! I have to catch her on hidden tape, of course! With solid evidence like that to present, there's no way that Chris won't believe me, right?

This of course left the issue of who would go undercover, and with every other guy our age, that I know here, being a bad choice for one reason or another, I had to beg and plead with Jack, to get him to do it!

Actually, it wasn't that hard to convince him and all it took was the promise of a lovely dinner at Grams'. She's quickly starting to warm up to him too, by the way and I just know that you and he will hit it off instantly, when you come back to us.

Keep those fingers crossed for us!

Jen

Sent: May 4th, 1999

From: A Girl Named Joey

To: Jen Rocks

Subject: Good luck!

Bonjour, Jen! Hey, if you can do it, so can I, lol! I have to admit that the more you've written about Jack, the more I can't wait to meet both him and his sister! It's a little weird to think about, that before you came to Capeside, it had just been myself, Dawson and Pacey hanging out all of the time, ever since Will left town and I had my falling out with Melissa. Now, when I get home, I'll have this whole new "extended clique" of new friends, you guys have made, while I've been away! Not that it's a bad thing, don't get me wrong!

Sure, I'll keep my fingers, toes and everything else crossed for you and your "Bo". It isn't an idea that I ever would have come up with, but if you can expose Hannah for the liar and horrible person, that she is, that can only be a positive thing in my book.

What about Dawson, by the way? Have you found out anything, that could tell you for sure, if he's cheated on Mary-Beth?

Looking forward to seeing you again soon!

Joey

"So, should I start calling you agent double-O six now?" Jack's twin sister Andie playfully asked him, while the siblings were getting ready for school.

Whereas Jack himself was quite nervous over the prospect of pretending to someone he wasn't, so he could get some girl to confess her sins to him on tape, Andie was finding the whole idea very amusing and this was just the latest in the line of many small jokes at his expense, that she'd made, ever since he made the enormous tactical mistake of explaining Jen's idea to her.

"If you have more of those jokes, can we get them out of the way now?" he annoyedly asked his sister back.

"That was the last original one, I could come up with. Are you nervous?"

"Wouldn't you be? Hannah will be onto me in no time, I just know it!" he said, as if he was stating the obvious.

"Maybe not. You were really good in our grade four production of "Seven Brides for Seven Brothers"!"

"That was in the fourth grade, Andie! All it takes for people to think that you did a good job, is to remember most of your lines! Hannah is already street-smart in a way, that I'll never grow up to be and that's just a simple fact! I have to try my best though, or Jen will be disappointed in me" he explained and saw a smile creep across Andie's face.

"We can't have that, can we? You really like her, don't you?" Andie asked him and there was no point in lying to her. Yes, he did like Jen a whole lot and in reality, she'd quickly become one of the absolute closest friends, he'd ever had. It was just a crying shame for the both of them, that he couldn't force himself like Jen back, the way that she and seemingly everyone else, he knew, wanted him to.

Pacey was rarely a guy, who got too stressed out over anything, something that he figured had a lot to do with growing up in a home, where you had an undoubtable alcoholic having the final word on everything. Living like that also meant that he grew up having to swallow a lot of pride and in comparison, to some of the worst times, he'd gone through with his dad, it took a lot for him to feel, like his whole world could come crashing down at any moment. This morning, however, was one of those rare occasions and Dawson, as his oldest friend, was quick to pick up on it.

"If you're that nervous over potentially getting held back a year, why don't you just go to the principal's office and ask them, if you can't get a straight answer?" Dawson logically asked him. "They told you that you'd get the final word today anyway, so what difference can an hour or two make?"

"What if he's looking over my academic records and is making his final decision, as we speak? I should have joined an extra-curricular or two, to at least have something positive on them, I just know it!"

"Relax! I'm sure that ..." was as far as Dawson got, before a transmission came out over the school P.A.

"Pacey Witter, will you come to the principal's office, please?" the secretary's voice rang out over the entirety of the school.

"I guess, it's showtime! Wish me luck" he said to Dawson, who did so, before Pacey made his way to the principal's office, where his fate awaited him.

"This needs to be celebrated in style!" Pacey, whose smile had been glued onto his face for the past several hours said to Jack, who'd also managed to catch a bit of the happy bug off his best guy-friend in their small town. "It isn't every day that a guy gets told, that he won't get held back a year!"

"I wish, I could, but I have plans already" Jack shortly replied, seeing as Jen had wanted to keep what they were doing as low-key as possible, so Hannah wouldn't suspect that anything was up.

"With Jen?"

"Sort of, yeah. It's a long story, that there's no reason for me bore you with!"

"To be honest with you, I don't have the time tonight either. My sister is coming down for a quick visit, so I have to stay home for the evening. Apparently, she has some kind of big news, that she wants to share with all of us".

"Any idea, what it could be?"

"Knowing her and how she's always loved to overuse words like big, enormous or monumental to the extreme, I'm guessing that it most likely won't be anything worth getting too worked up over! It'll still be nice to see her again though, so that's something".

"Well, have fun. I have to meet up with Jen" Jack excused himself, seeing as he already knew that they would be off in separate directions.

"Okay, so this is how we'll do it" Jen explained to him, as she held the small walk-man in front of him, that would be used as their tape recorder. "You press play and record at the same time and hide it in your inner pocket. Remember to speak clearly though, or the sound won't get picked up. Don't close your jacket either, or the only sound we'll get will be a hint of whisper here and there".

"Yeah, I've got it!" he answered her back, trying to sound enthused over an idea, he was the complete opposite of. Jen must have picked up on this too, since she flashed him one of the sweetest and most adorable smiles, he'd seen in his life up to that point.

"Jack, I know that I'm asking you to go way above and beyond, what I have any right to ask of you. Just know that you doing this for me counts for around a million plus points in my book!"

"Only a million! Sounds a bit low, don't you think?" he jokingly asked her back and got a kiss on as the first part of his "answer".

"Okay, so we can call it two million! You really are the perfect boyfriend in every way, do you know that?"

Once again, he didn't know how to reply to a compliment like that and just smiled his way out of it.

Their plan was rather simple. Hannah and her parents came down to eat dinner one evening a week at the Ice House, that always being Tuesday, where the rest of the restaurant was mostly empty, before things started picking up again by the middle of the week. Knowing this, Jack would come down there to eat dinner with his sister and wait for the tension between Hannah and her parents to become thick enough, that she needed a short break from those who'd brought her into the world and would head outside to briefly cool off. Something, that according to Abby, who'd served them several times already, without exception had happened after they'd had their main course and at around the three-quarters of an hour mark into their dinner. When this opening came up, Jack would go out to join Hannah and make his intensions of wanting to sleep with her clear. Something, he had to severely doubt, if he was capable of doing even close to convincingly, but that was a different story altogether! If nothing else, it got them out of the house for an evening and the food at the Ice House was always second to none (and much better than their mom's cooking), so if nothing else they would get that out of it.

Just as they'd been told, Hannah was already there with her parents, a strict pair of them, by the looks of it, and trying to make up her mind on what to order. With himself, it was easy, since he just had to have one of those awesome burgers again, that he'd had the first two times, he'd eaten there! The only question was which one to choose and, on this evening, he was feeling in an adventurous mood.

"I'm trying their Hawaii burger" he told his sister, who was still trying to make up her own mind on what to order.

"A burger, that has a slice of pineapple in it? It sounds all kinds of yucky, if you ask me!" Andie replied, making zero qualms about how unappetizing that combo sounded to her!

"Who knows, it could be delicious? I won't know, until I've tried it though, will I?"

"Go ahead, it's your own funeral!" Andie deadpanned in reply, just before they overheard the first of many comments, directed at Hannah by her parents, they would be unfortunate enough to hear that evening.

"You have to start shaping up, Hannah!" they overheard Hannah's mom telling her daughter in a downright vicious tone, that in comparison made the mean drill sergeant from "Full Metal Jacket" sound like the cutest of the Care Bears! "Do you really think that any Ivy League school will accept a discipline case, who can only barely pull home a B average, into their school?"

"No, mom" they could only barely hear Hannah reply, in a meek sort of way, that was nothing like how she talked to those at school, where she was epitome of confidence. Or, perhaps in reality, the right words used should have been "Put-On Confidence".

"You've been a disappointment to this family, since the day you were born, Hannah. Don't think that we won't disown you, if things don't change radically, because we will!" they could clearly hear Hannah's father saying and with every disparaging comment that Hannah had sit through listening to for the next forty-five minutes or so, it made both himself and Andie a little impressed, that she didn't just get up to leave and say to hell with it all. To be honest, if that had been himself, then he probably couldn't have taken more than ten minutes of that kind of verbal abuse, and from his own parents no less, at the absolute most.

Almost on clockwork, just like Abby had said it would happen, Hannah took a (well-deserved, it should be said) break from her parents after the main course and stepped outside to get some air. Jack was just about to get up from his seat, when Andie grabbed his arm.

"Perhaps, you should wait for another time. Her parents ..." was all Andie had to say, that along with a headshake drove home the point, of what kind of a horrible display of parenting, they'd just been unwilling witnesses to.

"I know. Look, I have to try, for Jen's sake" he told Andie, before heading outside.

When he got out there and saw the one thing, he'd never expected to see however, all of the last of his courage went out of him. Hannah, for as tough-shelled as she looked when he saw her at school, was crying her eyes out.

He was almost about to give up altogether, when she turned around to face him.

"I should leave you alone" he quickly said, before opening the door back into restaurant again. When she asked him what she did next though, the nice guy in him made it impossible to just leave this girl alone with her tears.

"Are your parents like mine are?" Hannah asked him and he led a little away from the doors, so her parents wouldn't hear what they said.

"They're not always a picnic to be around, but in comparison to yours ... wow!" was all he could say, and Hannah nodded along with him in agreement.

"Now, you know why Tuesday has become my least favorite day of the week! Please, don't tell anyone at school, okay? Least of all Jen, even if I'm sure that she'd have a field day at the thought of me feeling as miserable, as I do right now!"

"I won't and my sister isn't the sort of girl, who'd spread something like that around either. Are they always behaving like that towards you?"

"It's gotten worse, since I got kicked out of my private school. Since that day, where I had to come home and explain to them why, I'd been kicked out, it's as if I've been treated like the black sheep of the family. They've never talked the way they do to me, to any of my older siblings, as far as I know".

"I can only imagine how much it only must make their words sting worse, knowing that you're the only one of their children, they're doing it to" he answered her, even if he knew that he probably couldn't even begin to.

"Yeah, well, it's the world that I've created for myself, so I have to live with it. For the rest of this schoolyear anyway, then I can get the hell out of here and never look back again!"

"In your situation, I'd say that's perfectly understandable!" he told her, as they nodded along in agreement.

By the end of their little conversation outside of the Ice House, he'd all but entirely given up on Jen's plan, fun as it could have been to try to carry out. With what he knew about Hannah now, on the other hand, it wouldn't have felt right to try to deceive a surprisingly fragile girl, who had enough issues at home to deal with already, that she had to deal with on a daily basis, or for them to throw even more problems into her life.

Clearly, Hannah was a girl with deep-rooted parental issues, that it wouldn't be easy to make go away again. Just like another girl, he knew, who had a whole lot more in common with Hannah, than she'd ever thought, she did.

Pacey's evening had started with himself and his mom driving down to the train station to pick up Gretchen, who'd already called ahead to tell them, when she'd be arriving there. She'd been all smiles as usual, whenever she was reunited with them, but something had felt a bit off with her from the get-go, that he couldn't quite put his finger on.

His mom, as she usually did whenever it was a "special occasion", had made pot roast for dinner, one of the handful of dishes that she's cooked so many times that she couldn't mess up anymore and was a sure fire hit with everyone in their family. Even Pacey's dad, the only one of them, that wasn't joining them. Doug only arrived just before dinner, after having had to do a bit of overtime down at the police station and was immediately greeted by a big hug from his little sister, another unusual occurrence that made Pacey suspicious, if Gretchen's "news" for once was something worth getting worked up over.

"So, Gretchen. What's the big news, you needed to share with all of us?" his mother asked her daughter, after they'd eaten and all had a handful of minutes to let the food settle in their stomachs.

"Well, you know that guy Nick, who I told you that I've been dating for a while now ..." Gretchen began, before her mother interrupted her with a big smile on her face.

"You've gotten engaged, haven't you?" his mother excitedly asked, obviously hoping what the answer would be.

"Mom, you're the one who asked Gretchen to tell us, why she gathered us all here! The least you can do is let her finish, what she was saying!" Doug told off his mother, who this time waited patiently for Gretchen to finish with her announcement, or whatever it was, she needed them to know.

"The thing is, we've broken up and the reason why we did is that ... I'm sort of pregnant with his child and he didn't take the news all that well" Gretchen, who was by now close to tears, told them.

It would be over a minute after Gretchen's announcement (which had felt like it was a lot longer than that), before anyone spoke again and when it happened, it was Pacey himself breaking the awkward silence, that had set over the dinner table.

"Are you planning on keeping it?" he asked Gretchen, who didn't look any surer of what to do, than Bessie had been, back when she'd become pregnant with Alexander, at a time when the Potter family was still in a state of trying to repair itself, after losing two important parental figures in less than a year. Albeit, for very different reasons.

"I've thought about having an abortion, I just don't think that I can go through with it, when push comes to shove. The option, I'm leaning most towards is giving my child up for adoption, unless by some miracle, Nick and I can work things out. I'm so sorry, mom. I know that this wasn't what you wanted for me, when you sent me away to college" a now teary-eyed Gretchen told their mom, who responded with a warm hug and a promise, that everything would be okay, to the daughter who'd gotten herself into such a mess, as this was.

"Are you disappointed in me?" Gretchen asked him over a cup of hot chocolate later on, after Doug had headed home and their mom had gone to bed.

"What makes you think, I would be?" he asked back, drawing a small smile from his much-beloved older sister.

"Because I'm the screw-up of the family now?"

"I'd still say that we're in tough competition with one another, for that title!" he joked and even managed to get a small laugh out of Gretchen.

"What could you possibly have ever done, that's anywhere near this bad?" she asked him, before taking a soothing sip from her cup of hot chocolate.

"I only just found out today, that I won't have to take my sophomore year over again. Can you imagine, how a piece of news like that would have gone down with dad?" he semi-rhetorically asked, as he shuddered just at the thought of it.

"About as well as him being told that his daughter was not just dumb enough to get herself knocked up and that she still hasn't talked to the father of her unborn child, since she told him that she was pregnant over two weeks ago? Do you know what the last words, Nick said to me was?"

"Can't say that I do".

"He basically shouted "You've got to be kidding me, Gretchen!" at me, like this was some kind of bad and twisted joke, he can just walk away from! It took two of us to create this tiny life, that's growing inside of me, you know? I'm pretty sure that he just wants me to get an abortion, so he easily can wipe his hands clean of this whole big mess, we've gotten ourselves into. Please, tell me that you and Joey haven't gone all the way yet?".

"That's a little personal, don't you think?"

"When you do it, if you haven't already, make sure to use protection and that she's on the pill first! Like I should have been, if I'd only had the common sense to!" Gretchen blurted out and for what little was left of the evening, they kept it to small talking about pleasant subjects, like the fun times they'd had growing up in the same house together, or which things he was planning on doing with Joey, once they reached that long and (hopefully) warm summer, where they could just enjoy one another as much as humanly possible.

END OF CHAPTER FORTY-FIVE

Chapter Text

"What would you do

If I sang out of tune?

Would you stand up

And walk out on me?

Let me your ears and I´ll sing you a song

I will try not to sing out of key

I get by with a little help from my friends

I get high with a little help from my friends"

THE BEATLES (From the album "Sgt. Pepper´s Lonely Hearts Club Band" (1967))

Sent: May 15th, 1999

From: That Witter Guy

To: A Girl Named Joey

Subject: It's finals time!

Hi, Sweetheart. Can you believe that I somehow, someway made it through my sophomore year? Well, it's only almost, since I have a bunch of finals, I have to take first, before it becomes official. Since I already know that I'll be spending some time in summer school this year (not that it should be anything new for me!), I'm not sweating too much over what kind of grades, I'll be getting. A stark contrast, I might add to most of those, you know!

Dawson, I thought that I'd never see being more stressed out, than he was during those final and hectic days, where we were shooting his movie, but I could swear that during those last minutes before our chemistry exam, it looked like one of the veins in his head was about to pop! Not that it should be anything for him to worry over, but when that dreaded "Stress-Monster" begins to rear its ugly head, it's usually hard to make it go away again! Even Jen, who's usually the one that keeps me "de-stressed", whenever I need her to, has told me that she's had problems falling asleep, thanks to every thinkable nightmare scenario for how an exam can go, running through her head, whenever she closes her eyes. Andie (who's honestly just being weird in the way she absolutely loves everything, that has to do with school as a whole!) is one of the only ones, I still see smiling most of the time. Then again, if I was ninety-nine percent sure that I'd be bringing home top grades (or close to it) in all of my classes, I'd probably be finding myself smiling more too!

One thing that keeps me from feeling sorry for myself, is every time that I talk to Abby. It just isn't fair in my book, that she (through no fault of her own) should wind up having to go and live in Kansas, just when life here is finally starting to really look up for her. I've been wrecking my mind with how I can help her, but I keep drawing a blank, so if you have any brilliant ideas, now is the exact right time to put them out there!

Your (still longing for you, like there's no tomorrow) boyfriend

Pacey

Sent: May 15th, 1999

From: A Girl Named Joey

To: That Witter Guy

Subject: re: It's finals time!

Hi, Honey. It's great to finally hear from you again (she said, not at all passively/aggressively trying to make her boyfriend write back to her more often, than he has been!). Over here, finals has a lot of people at our school on edge too, so it doesn't surprise me that the same is the case back home in Capeside. Luckily for myself and Emma, the first of our finals is English and seeing as all you have to do to pass, is to speak our native language at a reasonable level, if either of us manage to flunk that one, then it's really looking bad for that girl, as far as the rest of our exams go!

I really wish that I could come up with some sort of magical solution to Abby's situation. If you'd asked me a year ago, what I would do, if I was told that she had to skip town, I'd probably have wanted to throw the biggest party of my life so far (not that it's saying much, if I have to be honest!), but now where I've found out that we're not all that different and she's become a friend in time, I feel the complete opposite way. If there's any way, you can help her, then by all means do it. If you can't though, then don't feel too bad over it, okay? What's happened isn't your fault either, any more than it's Abby's, Bessie's or mine.

Good luck on your finals!

Your (practically dying to see you again in five weeks' time!) girlfriend

Joey

Abby usually hated having to take finals. One part of it was that she rarely felt like it had gone how she wanted it to (which was probably also why the best grade that she'd ever gotten in one was a very lonely B-minus), but it was just as much how some people got so worked up over it, that whether they happened to get an A or a C meant the difference between it being almost the best day of their lives, or practically the end of the world for them. Her mom (way back, before she'd started on her huge downfall, that had led her into the proverbial hole, that her life was in now) had sometimes bragged to her about how she'd been a straight A student in high school and had even been up for valedictorian during her senior year. At that time, when Abby still looked up to her mom, she'd seen it as something to be proud of. Now, all it proved to her was that how your grades were in high school, often only had a small impact on what your actual future would look like.

What mattered infinitely more to her, than whatever grades that the teachers at Capeside High felt it proper to give her, was what her future looked like, once the next school year began. She liked her aunt Lola, the only one who'd volunteered to take a "Lost Soul" like herself in and raise her as her own, it wasn't that, and compared to what living with her mom for those last couple of years had been like, it was sure to be a veritable cakewalk. The only issue was how far Capeside and Kansas were located away from one another, and she knew that she'd be missing the life that she'd created for herself over the past half a year like crazy, if she had to leave it and her friends there behind. Not to mention Melissa, whom the mere thought of being without for the rest of her life, could make Abby feel physically sick.

Work had funnily enough become an escape from all of her problems. A place, where all she had to do was concentrate on keeping their customers happy and little else and a job, that if she had to say so herself, she'd become pretty decent at over the past months! It helped too of course, that she got along so well with everyone there, even Joey's dad Mike, whom after them needing a few weeks to get used to working together, had started to take a liking to her too. Or at least, that was how it seemed to her.

"Order for table six!" she told Mike, who was busy working behind the hot plate. One advantage to them now having two chefs there, was that it gave Bodie and Bessie the chance to take some much-needed time off, before the tourist season began to truly set in by the middle of June. Plus, they couldn't actually fire Mike, whose parole was based on the condition that he held onto a steady job and had a place to live.

"Thanks, Abby. Before I forget to say it, I have to speak to you after work. Bodie has made it my job to put together a vacation schedule for the waitresses" he told her back, as he looked over the paper slip with the order on it, she'd just brought him.

"It can't be that hard, considering that there's only three of us, and that's if you count Joey!" Abby joked back, drawing a small smile from Mike.

"If you ask me, I think that Bessie feels guilty over how hard she's made Joey work these past few summers, thanks to ... well, you know!" Mike answered, as the smile quickly ran away from his face again. "From what I can understand, she's planning on making a few temporary hires, so neither you or Joey will have to waste your entire summers working here".

"I wouldn't exactly call it wasting it".

"Abby, I know that it doesn't always seem that way, but somewhere in the back of my mind, I still remember what it was like to be yours and my daughter's age. From what I can remember, the last thing that I wanted to spend my summer on, was slaving away in a restaurant, while my friends were off enjoying being young and having one of the last of those summers, that feels like they last forever. It won't be long after you leave high school, until that begins to change. Anyway, just let me know which weeks or days that you'll want off and we'll figure it out. Of course, if you can hold it off until the end of July, or the beginning of August ..."

"That'll be kind of hard, considering that I'll need a few weeks down in Kansas to get used to my new surroundings, before school starts" she explained and could see from the look on Mike's face, that he had no idea what was going on with her.

"You're moving?" he solemnly asked her, with a face full of guilt from knowing, that he was at least partly to blame.

"Not by my own choice, but with me having nowhere to live here next year and my aunt down there being the only one, who's willing to take me in, it isn't like I have a choice" she tried to explain to him as matter-of-factly, as she could, consciously leaving out anything that could lead to Mike feeling, like this was his fault.

"I'm so sorry to hear that, Abby. I never intended for my parole to be reason, why ..."

"I don't blame you, Mike!" she reassured Mike, who looked pleased to hear her say so. "I blame my mom, who screwed up her own life so much and became so unbearable to live with, that I couldn't in my right mind have gone back to living with her, even if she wasn't about to be thrown in jail and my dad, who thinks that he can pay his way out of how he left me alone with her, when he should have known how it would turn out. They're the only two people, that I, or anyone else, should cast their blame at!" she stated unequivocally, meaning every word of what she'd said too.

"If there's anything, I can do for you, just ask, okay?" he said and for a moment there, Joey's dad reminded her of her own dad, back when he still gave a rat's behind about how his daughter was doing. It only made her all the sadder, that she would only barely get to know him, before she'd have to leave both the restaurant and Capeside behind, perhaps for good.

Dawson's dad had a rule to live by, that his son had tried to take heart, as much as he could: Stressing doesn't do anyone any good and will probably only lead you towards an early grave, so you should avoid it, if you at all could. They were words that made sense to Dawson, like most of his dad's little "Golden Nuggets of Wisdom" to live by, did to him. At this time however, they'd become increasingly hard to live by!

For one thing, he had finals to worry over and unlike Pacey, who was already sure that he'd be attending summer school with Abby and Joey, he actually cared a lot about which grades, he'd be getting. And, even if he didn't, he had his ever-worried mom constantly reminding him of it! To be honest, he was just looking forward to them being over and done with, so he could spend a week working on editing his movie (something, he'd had to basically put a hold on, until the school year was over), followed by a handful of days of enjoying having Joey home again, before he'd be heading off to Philadelphia, where he'd be spending the next month living with his aunt and taking the summer classes in movie making, she'd already signed him up for.

Before he got that far though, there were constantly more pressing issues, that he wanted to deal with, the biggest two of which was making up his mind on whether to apply for that grant, Hannah had told him about and coming clean to his girlfriend, about the things that he now knew, he shouldn't have done, with the same aforementioned Hannah. He'd tried beating around the bush on the subject of moving on a part-time basis to Boston with Pacey, who was also the only one that he'd come clean to about his infidelities, but on the other hand, he also felt like this was a decision that could be so monumental, when it came to his entire future, that he had to make it on his own, without any outside interference.

Both options, staying in Capeside full-time, or going to school in Boston and only coming home on the weekends, had their advantages and disadvantages, and it was thinking these over, that he was doing, when Jen came over to him, while he was looking through his locker for the American history notes, he'd be needing for his next exam, scheduled to take place less than half an hour from then.

"Do you have minute to talk?" Jen asked him, just before he found what he was looking for. Now, that he had, he saw no harm in it.

"You can even have two of them! What's up?" he asked Jen, who looked like she needed a moment to gather her courage.

"In private?" she quietly asked of him and seeing as it looked like she had something important on her mind, he followed her into one of the many empty classrooms.

"Look, I'm just going to ask you straight out, okay?" she began, after having carefully made sure that no one was listening in on them. "Have you and Hannah been doing something behind MB's back, that you shouldn't have?"

"No!" he said, almost like a reflex response. "What gives you that idea?"

"Several weeks ago, Abby and Pacey passed by a house, and she saw a couple, doing ... biblical things, up against a window. Naked biblical things, if you want to be exact!"

"And this concerns me how?" he asked, trying to look convincing, while at the same time remembering the one time, it could have happened, during the last of his and Hannah's secret hook-up's at the house, Jen had to have been taking about.

"She's pretty sure that one of the participants was you. Which it was, wasn't it?" Jen asked him, while trying to read his face. Right at that moment, he knew that himself and Hannah had been busted.

"I never meant for it to go that far" he tried explaining to Jen, who began pacing the room, as she tried to comprehend it all. "For what it's worth and I know that it isn't much, it was long before she hooked up with Chris. The first times, anyway".

"Why? You already have the perfect girlfriend in Mary-Beth!"

"Don't you think I've asked myself that question a thousand times?" he almost began yelling back, before reminding himself of who and how many could be listening. "The only explanation, I can give you, is that Hannah made me feel wanted, in a way that Mary-Beth just couldn't".

"Don't you mean that she played you into making you feel, like she wanted her?" Jen asked back, again recounting another question, he must have asked himself hundreds of times over the past months.

"I wouldn't put it against her. She clearly has more than her share of issues, when it comes to guys!"

"So do I, but you don't see me playing around with their emotions, like they mean nothing to me, just to make myself feel like I hold some kind of power of them! That's what girls like Hannah do! Take it from someone, who's known more than enough for one lifetime of them! Have you had sex with her?"

"No, it's the one boundary, we both agreed that we wouldn't pass. If you think that I don't feel like dirt over this, Jen, you couldn't be more wrong!"

"Do you know what I believe, Dawson? I believe that you, just like Chris was, were just a pair unsuspecting flies, that walked right into a deadly spider's web. The question is, do you want to help me take that deadly spider down a peg or two and expose her for what she is, as much as I do?"

He had to take a few moments to think over his answer, before he could give her one. After all, there were many variables to consider, that would in all likelihood have a large impact on his own immediate future.

"On two conditions. I get to tell Mary-Beth about what happened between myself and Hannah. Before I've told her, we don't make move number one".

"That goes without saying. What's the other condition?"

"You try talking to Hannah, without going in looking from the off set, like you're wanting to go to war with her! Try it and you'll find out that she really isn't the devil, that you've made your mind up on her being. If you still, after you've had a heart-to-heart talk with her, want to do this, then sure, I'll help out".

Jen didn't look like she particularly liked his suggestion. Seeing as it was the best offer, she was likely to get though, her only realistic option was to accept it.

Before she'd experienced what it was like to live with her, Jen's grandmother had just been someone, who'd always been there as part of scenery, when Abby was growing up and little else. She could still remember how, as a six-year-old kid, she'd been dared by a very young Belinda (with the carrot of the prospective earning of a dollar, if she completed her task), to sneak into Grams' garden and steal one of her roses. Thanks to her six-year-old self having had the courage of a mouse though, she'd (in spite of her own far too big mouth, before it became time to!) completely chickened out, when it became time for her to actually do it, like every other kid, who'd attempted the same thing, also had. Sure, it meant that you got teased on the playground for a day or two, but it still beat the prospects of getting caught and cooked up for supper by the woman, that many little kids in town suspected of being an evil witch, who ate their kind. Of course, those were just crazy stories made up by little younglings with far too over-active imaginations, still there were those among them who believed it, although Abby had never counted herself as one of them.

Even after she'd gotten to know Jen, there was still a huge generational gap between them, that made it hard for Abby to think of anything to talk about, whenever her and Grams had a moment or two alone together. After just around a month of living in her house however, they'd slowly begun opening up to one another and there was a wiseness to Evelyn, as Abby called her (it just wouldn't have felt right to Abby to call her Grams, when they weren't related), that she felt like it wouldn't be the worst thing for herself to learn a thing or two from. In any case, they were far better than the lessons, her mom had tried to teach her, most of which consisted of drinking tips (like what the perfect booze-to-mixer ratio is in a Gin and Tonic or a Tequila Sunrise), if they weren't just drunken slurs about how unfair the entire world was towards people like them.

"How is it going at work?" Evelyn asked her, while they were getting plates out and preparing to serve the evening's dessert, a three-layer chocolate cake that was Jen's favorite, and had been baked only enough hours before, for it to have to cooled down to the perfect serving temperature.

"Alright, I guess. The tips that I got tonight, sure weren't anything to write home about" Abby casually replied, while fighting the temptation to lick her lips at the thought of the delicious cake, she'd soon be sinking her teeth into and delighting her own tastebuds with.

"And you're still getting along with everyone there?"

"Sure. Why wouldn't I?"

"Abby, you can't tell me that you don't miss living with Bessie, Alexander and Bodie. It's fine with me, if you do" Evelyn told her, as they shared a small smile. "I'd say that it's only understandable".

"I know that it could sound cruel to my parents for me to say so, but living with them was the first time, I felt like I had a family, I could always rely on" she answered Evelyn, as truthfully, as she could.

"And, that's why, you can't give up on hope, that you'll be living with them again. I know that it isn't "cool" for you young people to believe in the lord, but he has his ways of helping those, who need him to".

"You're not going to start quoting bible verses at me, are you?" Abby had to ask, since she'd feared it happening, ever since she'd moved in.

"I wouldn't dream of it. It does have some parts to it, though, that could make for useful reading to a girl you. The parts about forgiveness, in particular?" Evelyn slyly asked, as she looked her into the eyes and it was like, she was staring a hole right into Abby's very soul.

"You mean, so I can forgive my parents, for the way they've abandoned me? Like all adults have a habit of doing, come to think of it!"

"You still have a chance to make amends with them, just like Jennifer does with hers. It won't happen though, unless someone makes the first move. And you won't have to worry about Jen or I ever abandoning you! Any friend of hers, who's meant that much to her, as you have, is a part of our family and the same goes for you!" Evelyn (in the most grand-motherly way thinkable) explained, as the smile across Abby's face had to have grown larger by the second.

"Does that mean, I can stay here with you and Jen?"

"It means that unless you, Bessie and Bodie can figure out a way for all of you to live together, there'll be a bed to sleep in here for you, for as long as you need one. Now, shall we see if Jen has recovered enough after all of that Risotto, she ate for dinner, to have a piece or two of her favorite dessert?"

"I'm willing to bet everything single thing, I own, that she is!" Abby half-joked back, relieved that at least one of her main problems wasn't one anymore. Could she make a final peace with her parents, however?

That part still remained to be seen.

Now, where Dawson had put pressure on himself to finally come clean to Mary-Beth, it was like it had brought out a rarely seen sense of courage up in him. Knowing too, that they wouldn't have much time to hang out together, before finals came to an end, he almost felt like this was a now or never moment for him, to do the one thing that he'd never wanted to do. Breaking the heart of the girl, he was in love with.

It had only taken a minute or two on the phone, to convince her to meet up with him, in a place where they were likely to be able to talk in peace: The same picturesque old orchard, where they'd shared their first kiss. With the early summer having set in, it almost felt like too nice of an evening to stay in as well and he'd arrived there in good time, so he could go over everything that he would say and exactly, how he would say it. Not that he didn't know that he'd forget most of it, when the pressure was on, but as he saw it, in this situation it couldn't hurt to be as prepared for any given scenario, as he could be.

When Mary-Beth finally arrived there, how she looked in her thin summer dress almost took his breath away, not to mention almost made him lose his newly found courage.

"You look ... wow!" was all he could say and it made Mary-Beth smile shyly at him, in that way of hers, that always seemed to make his heart race just that little bit faster, every time that he saw it.

"Thanks, I guess. Did you just ask me to come down here, so we could hang out, or did you actually have something, you needed to tell me? Because it's fine with me, either way!" Mary-Beth shyly blurted out and once again, he felt himself wanting to do just about anything else, besides for what he knew that he had to do. After all, how couldn't he, when all he wanted in a girl was standing right across from him and was still in this second, just as crazy about him, as he was about her?

"I've done something dumb" he began, as the option to not tell her, started sounding better by the second in his head.

"What?" Mary-Beth asked innocently, like an unknowing child, who's about to be told, that their parents are getting divorced.

"I had an affair. With Hannah" he told her and immediately, was overcome with both a sense of fear of what was to come and relief, that he wasn't lying to his girlfriend anymore. Seeing as he couldn't bring himself to look her in the eyes, it was hard to say what her immediate reaction was, but he could only imagine it being one of disbelief, mixed with around a thousand different other emotions, many of which he was feeling too.

"What do mean "Had an Affair"?" he could only barely hear Mary-Beth asking, in between the sobs coming from her.

"We did stuff together. Kissing and touching".

"Do you like her, more than you like me?" Mary-Beth asked, this time so quietly, that he could only just make out what she'd said.

"It didn't have anything to do with that! Mary-Beth, Hannah doesn't mean anything to me! You mean everything to me!" he said from the heart, as he finally manned up enough to look Mary-Beth in the eyes.

When he did and all he saw was tears coming from them though, it would have been hard for him to feel like he was any lower of a life-form, than he did in those very moments.

"Mary-Beth, I'll be the first to admit that when we started this romance or ours, I went into it hoping for the best and not expecting much" he continued, in a last-ditch attempt to save what was left of their relationship. "What I found in you was a girl, I could spend the rest of my life with, and I mean that with every fiber in my body! I don't expect you to ever forgive me and neither am I sure, that I deserve to be forgiven. I just wanted you to know that".

If you'd asked him before Mary-Beth had been told, how he thought that she would have reacted, he would have told you that just about all options were open for discussion. That she chose to do what she did however, by leaving him standing alone there, without saying another word, only left him with dozens of more questions, than he had been given answers.

Still, as he made his way home again, it felt like a weight was off his shoulders, now that he had come clean to the most important person involved, about what was sure to be one of the worst mistakes, he'd ever end up making. The alternative, a lifetime of lying to her about it, would have ended up being far worse in the long run, but then again, maybe that had been the plan of the devious Hannah all along? She knew that from their first kiss, she'd driven a wedge between himself and Mary-Beth, that would always be there, at least until the truth came out.

If Mary-Beth didn't take him back, that was quite simply the deserved price, he would have to pay. If nothing else, he was pretty sure that when enough time had passed, they could become friends again, like they started out as. With all of his heart, he still hoped though, that he would somehow end up having future with her by his side, through the best and most important parts of it.

Is that what you call truly being in love with someone? If it is, then Dawson was certainly guilty as charged!

END OF CHAPTER FORTY-SIX

Chapter Text

"When I was young

I never needed anyone

And making love was just for fun

Those days are gone

All by myself, don't wanna be

All by myself anymore"

ERIC CARMEN (Single from 1975)

Sent: June 10th, 1999

From: Jen Rocks

To: A Girl Named Joey

Subject: Almost there ...

It's almost summer vacation time! Of course, you already knew that, but I still had to write it because it's just so frigging awesome! With my last finals over and done with, all we have to do is turn up for a half day of school tomorrow, that ends with what hopefully won't be too many speeches in the auditorium, before we're let loose on an unsuspecting world! Of course, there's also the sophomore prom to look forward to and it's just a crying shame, that you won't be home already by then. I'm going with Jack (duh!), Pacey is going with Andie as friends and nothing else (as they've both been making it perfectly clear!), while Abby is going with Melissa. Dawson, now that him and MB have broken up, isn't sure if he's going or not, in spite of already having shelled out money on tickets for the both of them.

Speaking of MB, she's the reason why I have a bit of a guilty conscience these days. I haven't seen her around town at all, since her and Dawson (for what Dawson claims were "Private Reasons", that don't concern anyone else besides them), suddenly ended their relationship several weeks ago. I want so badly to tell her that I still want to be her friend, no matter if she's with Dawson anymore or not, and assure her that she'll still be a part of our little clique, like she's been ever since her and the good Mr. Leery began their love affair. Has he told you anything, that he hasn't told the rest of us, by the way?

Oh, and I also have to talk to Hannah, something I'm really not looking forward to at all! Jack keeps telling me that all I have to do is give her a chance and I might grow to like her, but my gut is telling me otherwise and if I had to guess, my guess is that she'll bite my head off, before I get out word number one. I know that stranger things have happened than a pair of teenage girls, who didn't like one another, suddenly becoming friends. In this case though, I don't see it happening!

Can't wait to see you again soon!

Jen

Sent: June 10th, 1999

From: A Girl Named Joey

To: Jen Rocks

Subject: Almost there too ...

Hi, Jen. Over here, it's safe to say after a month of not doing a whole lot more than having our heads buried in books, vacation is definitely in the air too! Which, I have to say and don't take this the wrong way, is a little bittersweet, since it also means that I'll soon be leaving my life here for the past six months behind as well. I'll still try to stay in touch with my host family and it goes without saying that Emma and I will continue on as pen-pals, but knowing that it's literally the end of the world as I've known it (to quote an old R.E.M song, that's one of Emma's favorites) is a feeling that I've never tried before and now that I have, it makes me glad to know that I won't have to feel this way again, until I leave for college in a few years' time. Then again, I'm also looking forward to coming home again, so to say that these conflicting emotions have me a feeling little confused inside would be the understatement of my year, so far! Most of all though, I'm just glad that this past half year has gone as smoothly, as it has and that it really feels to me, like being on my own (not entirely, but you know what I mean!) has prepared me far better for what my life will be like after I've left Capeside, than I felt when I got on that plane in Boston, all of those months ago.

And no, Dawson hasn't told me anything either, apart from a few lines about how he's been feeling, since the day of the big break-up. His usual reaction to emotional turmoil is to hide away in his room, so I'll try to convince him to go to the prom with you guys, I just can't guarantee anything. Over here in France, they don't have proms in the same way that we do, but there's an end of the schoolyear party at our school, that Emma and I are planning on checking out. It feels too, like we should have some sort of big finale, after everything that we've meant and will continue to mean to each other, not to mention how we've busted our behinds in school these past several months!

See you in less than a week!

Joey

The past year of Mary-Beth's existence on earth had been nothing, like she'd imagined it would have been, when it began. A year before this, she was still practically a ghost at her own school. A girl, who rarely talked to anyone during a school day (if it wasn't something school related and she'd have to) and when she walked down the hallways, it wasn't like any heads were turned, or anyone paid any attention to her, really. Even the bullies among the other girls (of which there weren't all that many, to be honest) avoided her and stuck to the victims that they knew, they would get their desired reaction from and when she came home, it was always to more of the same. She loved her parents as much as life itself, it wasn't that, and they tried to make life as comfortable for her, as they could, but if there was one fact about her that even they (with their rose-tinted glasses on) couldn't deny, it was that she was becoming desperately lonely. With how shy, she'd always been, they probably feared as much as she did, that this could carry on into her adulthood as well.

Then came the day, where it all began to change. The day, when Dawson had asked her to be his date for a double-date with Jen and Cliff, her then big crush. These days, it almost felt weird to her to think, that for so long Cliff had been the end-all, be-all to her, as far as the boys as her school went. It wasn't as if she hadn't been more aware than anyone, that she wasn't the big-breasted bimbo types that guys like him usually preferred and she'd gone on that double date thinking that if this didn't work, then nothing would, and she'd have to try to move on to someone else, who much better fit the profile for the kind of guy that a mostly quiet and somewhat nerdy girl like herself, could feasibly get it on with.

That it would be Dawson, who ended up with the prize, shouldn't have been that big of a surprise to her either, considering the lack of real alternatives there were to him, that she could say that she spoke with on at least a semi-regular basis. In one way or another, they would always have some kind of turn-off to her, and Dawson was (until very recently) the only one out of the lot, that she'd never had the slightest bit against. Sure, they were different in some ways, and you couldn't say that they had the same opinions on everything or the same hobbies, but neither did her parents and you couldn't say after twenty years of happy marriage for them, that it hadn't worked out in the best of ways, that it could. Maybe, it was for this reason that she'd quickly begun to envisage a future for herself with him. Which (as she again was all too aware) was kind of foolish, since most of the other romantic relationships that had been "fostered" in the grade over the past school year had struggled to make it past the one-month mark and in over half of the cases, had been over and done with within a week or two.

To think then, that her very first attempt at starting a relationship with a boy would last for all eternity, should have kept her more grounded and she was almost as angry at herself over not having seen the end coming, as she was at Dawson and to a lesser extent, the girl he'd cheated on her with. Looking back on it, there had been small signs here and there, that she could and probably should have picked up on, like the times that he'd had bad excuses for where he'd been at any given time, or the times where she could have sworn that the smell of the deodorant, he claimed to have used, hadn't smelled suspiciously like a girl's perfume instead. Would she still have broken up with him though, if she'd found out about his affair some other way, without Dawson knowing that she knew? Logic stated that at some point, it would start eating away at her enough, that she'd practically be forced to confront him over it, still she couldn't say that she was entirely sure of how she would have reacted, or what she would have done in it's wake. There were lots of things to consider, before making a snap judgment like that and one of the biggest was that without Dawson's friends in her life, she really didn't have any close friends of her own, she could fall back on.

The prospect of becoming as lonely again, as she was before, therefore filled her head as she sat in her room and worked on her speech, that she was to give at the final school assembly of the year. In the weeks that had passed, since her now ex-boyfriend had revealed his infidelity to her, she'd had an excuse to hide out from the rest of the world, seeing as she had finals to deal with and everyone knew, that she was a straight A student or close to it. With her not having that excuse anymore and the summer vacation looming ever closer, it was time for her to face the rest of the world again and if she had to be perfectly honest about it, she wasn't close to certain that she felt ready to yet. Or, when it came to that, giving a speech in front of the entire school.

"You're doing the only sensible thing here" Jen was told by Jack, while they were splitting a small portion of the "famous" fish and chips (or at least, that was how the restaurant themselves billed it) from "Dom's Seafood Shack", the number one choice for Fastfood by the harbor, if you were too lazy to walk the half a mile from there to the Ice House. At the same time, she was still contemplating how to go about starting a conversation with a girl, who probably had very little love lost for herself.

"You really think so?" she asked him back, since she still wasn't sure that the whole thing was a good idea.

"Some people would even call it the adult thing to do".

"Jack, I thought that I'd already told you, never to use that horrible swear-word in front of me again!" she joked, even if it was only a half-joke, if she had to be honest.

"Like it or not, you choosing to talk it out with Hannah, instead of trying to mess with her from afar, is a sign that you're becoming one of those ... people, who are older than us and whose title, you refuse to take on!"

"Everything was so much easier, back when I was a kid" she mused to herself. "If there was a girl that I didn't like, I'd say something mean to her to make her cry, before either the teachers or my parents would force me to apologize to her for it. That's if I didn't instantly start feeling guilty and apologized right away, like I did nearly all of the time".

"Jen, Hannah might have more money in her bank account, than everyone else here, including the mayor, the chief of police and most of the rest of Capeside's population, do combined between us ..."

"You're probably not entirely wrong there!"

"At the end of the day, she's just a girl, who's kind of like you are".

"You mean as in full of parental issues? We aren't exactly the only two girls here with those problems, are we?"

"When I had my little talk with her outside of the Ice House, she kind of reminded me of you in some ways".

"You can't be serious!"

"Think of it this way: What's the worst thing, that can happen? If she tells you to get lost, at least you can say that you tried" Jack reasoned and for as little as she liked to admit it, more or less had her there.

Now, the one pressing question was how to go about this new "undertaking" of hers. She knew where Hannah lived (not that practically everyone in Capeside didn't know, since it was the biggest and most expensive house in a town, that had more than its fair share of them), so she could try paying her an unexpected visit to see if that would work, but her gut instincts told her otherwise. Her only other choice, as far as she saw it, was to run into Hannah at one of the many restaurants in town, that her parents either owned or frequented several times a week. Again though, this was a long shot at best and it would require her to know exactly when and where, they would be at any given time and if Hannah would be with them there.

With all this in mind, it was all starting to look a little hopeless, as she was walking back to Grams' house. Walking the streets of Capeside and lost in her own thoughts, she didn't even hear the car coming up to her from behind, before it pulled up to the curb and a familiar face stuck his head out of the window.

"Need a ride, New York?" Chris asked her with the kind of cheeky smile, that he had on his face most of the time, whenever he was talking to a pretty girl. Not that Jen would necessarily have called herself one, but that was a different matter altogether.

"Are you sure that Hannah will like it? We can't exactly say that her and I are like Laverne and Shirley, can we?"

"She's my girlfriend, not my wife! This is just a friendly guy offering to do something nice for a girl, because he can already guess that she's likely to be on her way home to her grandma's and it isn't much of a detour for him to drop him off on his way" he slickly offered, before opening the car door, for her to get in.

Had this been a few months earlier, she never would have said yes to a ride from him, unless they were in the middle of a hurricane, or a tornado was heading straight for her, and he was her sole hope of salvation. Now, on the other hand, it felt more to her like an invitation, that was too good to refuse.

"Do promise that you won't use this as an opportunity to hit on me again?" she asked sternly, before sitting down in the passenger seat.

"I won't. Scout's honor!" he reassured her and although, she had a hard time picturing him ever having been a boy scout, she still chose to believe him.

"Anyway, it isn't like I`m kidding myself into thinking that I can steal you away from Jack McPhee. I just hope that he knows what a lucky guy, he is" Chris said, before hitting the accelerator hard.

"Chris, you promised ..."

"I'm not hitting on you, if that's what you think! Is it that unthinkable to your warped big city mind, that a guy can see a girl for the catch that she is, without wanting her for himself? Not to mention how you've made it more than clear, that I'll never stand a chance with you and since I don't particularly feel like getting humiliated in front of a hallway of full of my peers again ..."

"You're never going to let me forget that, are you?" she asked him playfully, in a way that was almost flirting. Not that she meant for it to come out that way, it just did!

"Believe it or not, a few positives came out of it".

"Like?"

"I taught me to watch my steps cautiously, when it comes to girls from New York, for one thing!" he quipped, and they shared a small chuckle.

"They're not all as damaged, as I am! It might sound crazy to you, if I'm the only one from New York that you've ever met, but there are actually plenty of perfectly normal girls there too!" she joked back.

"Normal has never been my type. I've always preferred my girls to be wild and unpredictable! Like Hannah is" he confided in her, even if she wasn't sure that he meant it or that he'd able to keep up with any of the truly wild and unpredictable girls, she'd grown up with back home.

"You really like her, don't you?" Jen asked and from the look on his face, when she asked the question, she could already tell that he did.

"The strange thing is, that I can't really say why I do!" he continued. "We don't really have anything in common and most of the things that she's into, I honestly couldn't care less about, if I tried! I know that she feels the exact same way about my personal interests, so why it works is hard to say. It just does!"

"And, it doesn't have anything to do with her willingly doing whatever you want her to, when you're naked underneath the bedsheets together?"

"I didn't say that did I? Maybe, it's knowing that it'll all be over between us soon, that has me feeling this way, but I really think that I'm going to miss her next year, you know?" he rhetorically asked, before turning down onto the road, that led to Jen grandmother's house.

As she laid there in bed that evening and tried to fall asleep, Jen (like it had happened so many times before, that she'd long since lost count of them) had a head full of a mix of concerns and plans for what she was going to do the day after. The only thing that she was sure of was that she had to tell Mary-Beth, that she still wanted to be friends with her. That part was sure to be the easy part and could count for her positive deed of the summer, before it had even really begun yet. What to do about Hannah, Chris, Dawson and all of that debacle though, she wasn't entirely sure of and to be honest, she was only really sure of one thing: that she wanted to start her summer with a clear conscience and if she was going to do that, then there couldn't be any skeletons in her closet holding her back.

Mary-Beth had felt from the moment that she woke up, like there was a giant knot in her stomach and there was no doubt what it was filled with: Fear, of several different kinds. She knew that her speech would at least be better than the principal's speech, that besides being the last one on the ballot, would no doubt also be so tedious and boring to listen to, that it always had at least half of the attendees looking longingly towards the doors, before he was a quarter of a way through it. Or, as Dawson's friend Pacey liked to put it, the best nap that he got all year, every year! Even if she wasn't expecting to receive any huge applause or anything like that, she still knew from experience that her keeping it short and to the point was exactly what her crowd on this day wanted the most out of her.

It was more seeing Dawson and his friends, that she worried over and whether or not, they'd all start treating her again, like they did before Dawson and her became a couple. Someone, they didn't care about in the slightest and if they did, then they certainly never showed it. As for what would happen when she saw Dawson again, that part was still very much up in the air and in truth, she had no clue how she would feel when it did. The first week after their break-up, she hadn't wanted to see even the shadow of him, but now where she'd had some time to digest what had happened, she'd also come to an acceptance that even if it hadn't ended in the best of ways, what they'd shared together had still been special to the both of them and although, she wasn't feeling ready to entirely forgive him yet, she also still wanted to at least be friends with him again.

It was with these thoughts in her head and as she was heading up towards the door of the school for the last time that schoolyear, that Mary-Beth saw Jen coming towards her, like she'd been waiting for her to arrive.

"Last day of school, huh?" Jen asked her with a sweet and kind smile. "Are you excited about giving your speech, or just excited to have it over and done with, so you can start your vacation with the rest of us?"

"Mostly option number two" Mary-Beth replied candidly with a smile of her own, to match that of Jen's.

"I'd probably feel the same way, if it were me. Not that you'd ever find me giving a speech to a huge group of my peers! Just the thought of having to do it is enough to give me a month's worth of nightmares! Look, I don't know if we'll get the chance to talk again today, with everything that'll be going on and your part in some of it, but I just wanted you to know that if you feel like hanging out over the summer, my schedule is embarrassingly open! Seriously, I have like two days planned out so far and no clue what I'm going to pass the rest of those seven weeks on!" Jen said, and even if it had been spoken in a somewhat rambling fashion, Mary-Beth still got what she meant. And, what it meant, filled her stomach with a nice and warm feeling, too.

"Does that mean you still want to be friends with me, even though Dawson and I aren't a couple anymore?" she had to ask, if nothing else just to be sure that she didn't get it wrong the first time.

"MB, I think that I speak for all of us, who call ourselves your friend, when I say that you're a girl, it's simply impossible not to like! Okay, so you still revert to becoming a little too mousy for your own good sometimes, but I'd and by that, I mean we'd like to think, that we've all played our little parts in helping you to come out of that thick and hard shell of yours over these past months. And guess what?"

"What?"

"What we found underneath it was a girl, we all consider ourselves lucky to call our friend. Even Abby, believe it or not!" Jen quipped and they shared a small giggle.

"Now, you have to be exaggerating!" she quipped back.

"Abby's just not the kind of girl, who would ever say it to your face, but I've heard her saying in private, how much she admires you for how you conducted yourself under the election campaign, when most of the other candidates were busy slinging as much mud as they could at one another. If I remember her exact words correctly, they were that you were "Elegant and Lady-Like", not to mention a far better fit for a student body president, than she is right now!"

"That's nice to know!" was all that Mary-Beth could think of answering, even if she wanted to say more than that and thank Jen, for how she'd already made her morning and then some.

"You have friends here now, Mary-Beth and it doesn't matter who you're dating or not dating, we'll still continue to be your friends, because we like who you are! You're nice to everyone, sometimes almost to a fault and believe me, if my mom knew that I'm friends with a girl like you now, she'd be ready to throw a full out parade in your honor, because that's always been her wet dream for me!" Jen joked and now they both couldn't help themselves from laughing out loud, in spite of those who looked at them funnily.

As for her next encounter with Dawson, that part wouldn't come until later in the day, after she'd already given her speech, that while it could have gone down a little better, at least wasn't attracting all that many yawns from her fellow students!

The two first times that Jen had seen Hannah that morning, it hadn't really been an opportune time to chat her up. First, she'd seen Hannah vigorously swapping spit with Chris, seeing as they, like many other couples clearly also were, had decided to give a big middle finger to the school's rather strict PDA code, now that it was the last day of school and there wasn't any chance that they'd get punished for it. She'd tried to get Jack to do it too, but had already known that he wouldn't be into participating in a protest like that (something Jen attributed to him knowing that his twin sister would chew him out endlessly for breaking the rules without considering how it would reflect on her) and so, she had to settle for a peck on the lips so small, that it must have made the adorable scene with the two little kids kissing from "My Girl" look like "Nine and a Half Weeks", in comparison to her own sorry excuse for one. The second time had been, when she was in a hurry to go and use the girl's room, leaving her with only one more realistic chance to, before they had to head off to the auditorium and listen to a bunch of boring speeches to cap off the school year.

She'd gone over possible opening lines in her head hundreds of times already that morning, but when it came down to crunch time, all she could think of saying was:

"Can I talk to you for a minute, Hannah?"

It came out, when she saw Hannah standing a little by herself on the school lawn, that she like many others had decided to use for her free time in between classes. Part of her had expected Hannah to just ignore her completely, but she quickly discovered that it wouldn't be the case.

"About?" Hannah quickly answered, not looking too much in the mood to talk, but not entirely dismissive of it either.

"I sort of feel like you and I got off on the wrong foot and now, where I'm hearing that this is your last day, I don't want to leave things with there being any bad blood between us" Jen stumblingly got out. Either way, it drew a small smile from Hannah, so it couldn't have been the worst thing, she possibly could have said.

"You mean because of that little spat, we had outside of your grandmom's house? That was nothing, if you ask me! Just a small disagreement between two girls, who both perhaps got a little too caught up in the moment, is all" Hannah calmly answered, sending a small wave of relief through Jen's body. Even if her parents weren't too bad off, willingly making an enemy out of one of the principal heirs to the Von Wenning family fortune would still be one of the dumbest things, anyone in their right mind could possibly do!

"I'm glad that you think so too. See, back home I had a lot of these minor enemies, most of them girls that I'd had some fight with over something and just never made peace with again, so I decided when I came to Capeside ..."

"That it would be a thing of the past. It sounds like we've been having a lot of the same thoughts on that particular subject" Hannah answered and for the first time, Jen could tell that she was being completely honest.

"You too, huh?"

"When I got caught cheating at my former school, do you know how many of those that I thought were my friends, came to my support? Not a single one of them!"

"That had to have hurt like a bitch!"

"It did. You want to know what else? Right before I left and as I was saying goodbye to her, the girl that I thought was my best friend told me that she'd only been using me for my popularity, and that no one would ever want to be my friend again, because I'm an evil and coldhearted bitch. Her words, not mine" Hannah explained and in another first for her, it looked to Jen like Hannah was showing some actual human emotions and not just that front of confidence, she showed to the rest of the world. "The worst part is that she was absolutely right, that was who I was".

"It doesn't mean that it's who you have to continue to be, for the rest of your life".

"I tried here, at first, anyway. That first week or two, I actually came close to having myself convinced that I could grow to like it here, but the reality is that a small town like this just isn't a place to live for a girl like me. You're from the city, so you must get what I'm talking about, right? I mean, don't you miss the city on a boring Saturday evening in Capeside, when the best entertainment available comes in the form of a trip to the video store?"

"Weird as it may sound, it's sort of become my version of heaven here".

"You have to be kidding!"

"I'm not, in any way. Sure, back home I had a world full of options, if I was at home feeling bored and lonely, but I never knew my friends there, the way that I do with the ones I have here. If that makes any sense!"

"I guess, it does".

"Most of my so-called old friends were in and out my life, usually in less than a year and I'd begun to accept that it was just how life is. The friends that I've made here though, like Joey, Pacey, Dawson, Abby and so on, are friends that I'm sure that I'll still have for years to come, maybe for the rest of my life even. Capeside has its faults, we can both agree on that and sometimes, the bigotry from the conservative majority here is enough to make me want to hurl, still when you look past all of that, it can be pretty great here. Provided that you have the right friends and know the right people, of course" Jen honestly explained, drawing a small nod and smile from Hannah in return.

"You're a lucky girl, you know that?" Hannah asked and there was no doubt, what the answer was.

"Chris really likes you. I'm sure that he'd be into it, if you asked him to try a long-distance thing" Jen asked, if nothing else to change the subject to something less emotional.

"Let's keep it real here, Jen. It wouldn't last a month, before phone sex wasn't enough for either of us anymore! No, it's better for the both of us, if I cut him loose entirely, like it was planned from the start. Don't feel too bad for him, he got what he wanted out of most of our hook-up's!"

"And what about Dawson?" Jen almost asked, before deciding with herself that now where there the cat was out of the bag anyway, it was better to let the past be the past and move onto the future with a clean slate.

Soon after, the attendance bell rang for the final time of the year, ending their little round of peace talks, or whatever you want to call them. Hannah was right in that Jen was lucky and, in any case, what she had been up to with those three boys had probably been rather innocent, compared to the crazy things that she'd heard about her old friends doing back in NYC. Sitting down in the seat that her boyfriend had saved for her, just before the assembly was about to begin, all she hoped for Hannah in the future was that in her next stop in life, she would be as fortunate, as Jen herself had been in Capeside.

A town, she could say that she was glad to call home.

Mary-Beth had already conceded that she wouldn't talk to Dawson before school came to an end for the year, when she finally got her chance to. It came as she came out from the backdoor to the auditorium, that was strictly to only be used by those with permission to.

"I liked your speech" he said with a boyish smile, that immediately sent butterflies racing to her tummy.

"You did, huh? What was your favorite part of it?" she teasingly asked him to test, if he'd actually been listening.

"When you talked about the future and how we write our own".

"I was thinking you, when I came up with it. So, when are you leaving for Philly?"

"I still have a week and a half here, before it's adios to little Capeside and hello to the big city for the next four weeks. How long are you going to be in Arizona for?"

"The same. Look ..." she began, before he cut her off.

"Mary-Beth, I've been waiting for weeks for the chance to say this to you, so can say it first and then, you can ask me whatever you need to?" he asked and a quick nod from her told him to continue.

"Look, I know that screwed up. That goes without saying and if I could change what happened, I would without giving it a moment's thought, because what matters more than anything to me, is you and us. I won't ask you to forgive me, because that has to be up to you, I just want you to know that I'll never stop caring about you or wanting nothing but the best for you" he told her, before finishing the little speech of his own with giving her a kiss on the cheek, before he began to walk away from her.

"Do you have date for the sophomore prom?" she asked him, after only a second or two of thinking about it.

As he turned around and smiled at her, she already knew what his answer would be.

END OF CHAPTER FORTY-SEVEN

Chapter Text

"First you need (That's what you get for falling in love)

Then you bleed (You get a little and it's never enough)

And then, you're on your knees (That's what you get for falling in love)

Now this boy's addicted 'cause your kiss is the drug

Oh, oh, oh, your love is like bad medicine

Bad medicine is what I need!

Shake it up

Just like bad medicine!

There ain't no doctor,

who can cure my disease!"

BON JOVI (From the album "New Jersey" (1988))

Relationships. When the school year began, all Dawson knew about them was from movies and TV, not to mention studying his parents and the other adults in his life and how they either made them work, or for some reason still stayed together, in spite of the spark clearly having gone out of their relationship long ago. For each couple, who were like his parents and still in love with one another, it seemed to him like there was a near endless stream of the other kind and it made him happy, that at least it wasn't himself caught up in one of them. He was contemplating this, while himself and Pacey were working a rare morning shift at Screen Time together, due to the sophomore prom being on that exact evening.

"Who knew that the morning shift would be this busy?" Pacey rhetorically asked him, after they'd just served at least fifteen customers over the last hour or so.

"It's only for another couple of hours, then we can forget that this place exists and concentrate on our pleasing prom dates instead" Dawson dryly answered, before getting a small chuckle from Pacey in return.

"I don't know if I'd want this place to not exist! I mean, if it didn't, where would I earn enough money around here, to be able to move out of my mom's house, right after I've graduated?" Pacey asked him, while he was putting the VHS cassette tapes back in their usual spot, on the huge rack of tapes behind where they would sit during their shifts there.

"Maybe, this isn't the right time or place to tell you this ..." Dawson began a sentence, he'd wanted to get out for some time.

"You can tell me anything, Dawson, you know that. Even if we aren't brothers, I'm still closer with you, than I am I with my actual brother".

"I've talked it over with my parents and with my schoolwork requiring more of my time after the summer break and me wanting to spend more time working towards becoming a filmmaker someday ..." he began, but his oldest friend could already tell, where it was heading.

"You're quitting your job here, aren't you?" Pacey asked, while clearly trying not to sound too disappointed, that they wouldn't be working together anymore. "It's okay with me, I probably should have seen it coming".

"It doesn't have anything to with you, Pacey. It's just ..."

"That you have this glowing future ahead of you, that you have to start putting first, or you'll end up falling behind compared to your competition. I'm fine with that, I really am. I just wish that I could have my own glowing future like it, to look forward to".

"Cheer up, Pacey! This time next week, Joey will be home again, and we both know that by the time I head off to Philadelphia, the two of you will be right back to where you left off half a year ago! And you will find something that you're good at someday, I'm sure of it. Whether or not you'll find it in here, is a different matter".

"Are you implying that I should find myself a different job?"

"Have you been considering it?" he asked Pacey, who replied with a small shrug.

"Let's face it, it isn't like there's much in the way of room for personal growth, when it comes to work like this. If you want the truth, I could probably do a halfway decent job here in my sleep".

"I hear that the Ice House is looking for extra serving staff to fill in over the summer and if the tourist season this year lives up to last year's, you're almost certain to make more money in one day there in tips alone, than you will working for an entire week here. Money, that could spend on pleasing a certain female someone, who you've been dying to take out sailing in your boat, perhaps?" he suggested to Pacey, who didn't seem entirely dismissive of the idea.

After their shift was over for the day, he had his dad drive him home, so that he could get ready with plenty of time to spare, before Pacey was stopping by to pick him up in his mom's car and they would pick their dates up for the sophomore prom.

"Have you thought any more about Boston next year?" his dad asked him, while they were waiting at a red light and there was an almost eerie calm in the air.

"I still can't decide" Dawson candidly answered, since after over a month of deliberating the pros and cons in his head, he still hadn't reached anything remotely similar to a resolution on what to do. "What would you do, if you were in my situation?"

"I sort of was. Not in the exact same way, of course, but it wasn't all that far from it" his dad answered him.

"I don't think that you've ever told me the story attached to that statement?"

"I've told you before about how my father, when I was around your age, got that job offer down in Pennsylvania and it was why my parents and your aunt moved down there, haven't I?"

"You've mentioned it a time or two. You lived with my great-grandparents for the rest of high school, didn't you?"

"Sure did, but it wasn't like my mom and dad didn't give me the choice to move to Pennsylvania with them, if I wanted to. Don't think that I haven't thought many times about how my life could have turned out differently, if I had chosen differently".

"Do you think, you would have been richer, than you are now?" Dawson jokingly asked.

"It's impossible to say, isn't it? When it comes to being rich on love though, I can't say that I haven't been on the winning side" his dad lovingly said and they shared a warm smile.

"What made you choose to stay?"

"My friends, mostly. At that time, I couldn't imagine my life without them in it".

"That's what I've been thinking, too. I can make new friends in Boston, but ..."

"There just aren't anyone in the entire world, who know you like your old friends do, is there?"

"No, I guess not. Plus, there's the whole Mary-Beth situation, that I want to see how plays out. If I was to leave and lost my chance with her because of it, I just know that I'll always be asking myself what could have been and if she could have been the one" he told his dad, as truthfully as he could.

"It sure sounds to me, like you already have your answer" his dad told him, just before the light turned green and they continued on their way back to the house, he'd called home since he was born and would continue to do so, at least for the next couple of years.

"Someone's got his dancing shoes on today!" Jack's sister Andie playfully joked, after she'd just caught him practicing a few moves in his room, that he planned on pulling out of his hat at the sophomore prom that evening.

"One of us has to show our peers that our entire family isn't completely derived of a sense of rhythm, don't they?" he sarcastically replied, so as to not let her know how embarrassed he was at having been busted acting like a 1984 version of Madonna like this.

"Just because I like to stick to the three dance moves that I know, doesn't mean that I can't dance, Jack!" his sister protested, albeit not in any major way.

"I've seen plenty of footage from family weddings that prove otherwise!"

"Footage, that we can never let any of our new friends see, even if their lives depended on it! I guess, this means that you're looking forward to the prom, almost as much as I am".

"Even if you don't have a real date for it?"

"I see it as my last evening with Pacey, before his girlfriend comes home and I'll be old news to him in no time. So, are you and Jen planning on sealing the deal, so to speak, after prom is over? Not that I care, I just need to know if I have to have a back-up ride home!" Andie, very unconvincingly, asked him.

"Don't you think that sharing something like that with your sister crosses a line, that we shouldn't be crossing?" he asked and seeing Andie blush a little, told him that she definitely wasn't ready to hear from the horse's mouth about any sexual escapades, he might have had. Of which there hadn't been any to speak of, since they'd left Providence behind, but his twin sister didn't need to know that part.

"You don't think that Kate provided me with every detail, after the first time you guys did it?" Andie asked and in doing so, divulged a piece of information to him that he'd never wanted to hear.

"She did?" he instantly had to ask, while a strange sense of feeling violated in some way, travelled through his body.

"Are you forgetting that we were best friends, Jack? You didn't actually expect her not to talk to her best friend about such a monumental event in her life, did you?"

"I guess, I was foolishly hoping that she wouldn't! How much exactly, did she reveal to you?"

"Nothing, that it would make you feel ashamed to hear, I promise! Maybe, I shouldn't tell you this, but she actually gave you a lot of praise for your performance that evening. I remember how she said that you were a very giving sort of lover, who was putting her needs ahead of your own" Andie explained, as the reasons why he was such a generous giver that evening began flashing through his head again, after months of him having gladly forgotten all about it. The truth, as he could never have told it to Kate, was that he was having a world of trouble becoming aroused enough with her, for him to "fulfill his part of the deal".

"Can we never talk about this or any part of our sexual lives, for that matter, from now on and ever again?" he dryly asked, getting him a cheeky smile from Andie in return.

"Who would have picked you to be the prude out of us two, huh?"

"I'm not being a prude because I don't want to discuss my sex life with the same girl that I shared a womb with!"

"Okay, have it your way, you big softie! Of course, I could slyly ask Jen for you, if it's something that she might be up for?"

"Stay out of it, Andie! Whatever happens, happens and whatever does or doesn't happen, isn't any of your business, anyway! Are we clear on this?"

"Okay, I'll try not to! I hope that you are aware however, that girls who are mine and Jen's age often talk about sex with their friends and not the least, the things that they get up to with their boyfriends, when no one is keeping an eye on them?"

"Guys do that too, you're hopefully aware of?"

"I'm just saying that whether I intend to or not, it isn't all that unlikely that I could be told or overhear some stuff, you might not want me to hear. Either way, I should leave you to it. If was I saw was any indication, those dance moves of yours need to have some serious work put into them, brother dearest!" Andie quipped, before he threw a pillow at her and she giggling ran out of his room.

After she'd left, he tried to get into the groove of dancing again, but found it impossible thanks to one thought, or rather an image, running through his mind: That of his ex-girlfriend Kate giving his twin sister far more information, than he ever would have wanted her to know about his sexual exploits!

With his immediate future already having been sorted out earlier that day, all Dawson had to do for the rest of the afternoon was get ready for his big date with the ex-girlfriend, who he was hoping would be his new current girlfriend again, before the evening was over. Of course, he knew Mary-Beth well enough to know that she was unlikely to throw himself at him and offer herself up on a silver platter, but he could settle for less and if he had to be honest, just a small hint from her that they might get back together would be enough to keep him going over the several weeks, where he wouldn't be seeing her. Perhaps, he would be allowed by his aunt to call her once or twice from Philadelphia, still with the high prizes for calls between Pennsylvania and Arizona, their calls also would have to be kept short and to only talking about the essential things, making this his final realistic chance to find out exactly where he stood with her, for the following month or so at least.

As they'd planned, Pacey had come by to pick him up in his mom's car, that now where she'd gotten her license back, he probably wouldn't be allowed to borrow nearly as frequently, as he had over the past months. Not that it mattered on this evening, but what did matter was that Pacey (being the always nice and helpful guy, that he was) had also offered to give Jen and Jack a ride, meaning that there would be six of them in the four-seated car and it would start to look like a clown-car, when they all had to be fitted in there. It was for this reason, and because the lack of ability to move his legs even the slightest had already led to an ever more painful cramp starting to build up in one of them, just on the short ride from Jack and Jen's parents' house to that of Mary-Beth's, that he offered to get out and wait with his date for a taxi to come, rather than submit himself and his co-passengers to an even worse and more curdled up situation for the remainder of their trip.

And, it goes without saying, this also gave him a chance for some precious alone time with his date, before they would be surrounded by loud music and people all evening, making the chance to have any kind of meaningful conversation practically impossible.

"You'll knock them all dead at the prom tonight, you know that?" he flirtingly asked Mary-Beth, while they were standing by the curb outside of her house and waiting for the taxi to arrive. Which, as a side bonus, also gave him a much-needed chance to properly stretch out his still slightly cramped up and sore leg, before any dancing was to take place. He wasn't lying though, in that his usually so quietly and inconspicuously dressed ex-girlfriend was looking like something out of a fairy tale in her elegant purple dress with neat little shoes of the same color to match with it.

"There you go again, saying things that aren't true, just to cheer me up! We both know that there'll be plenty of girls there tonight, who are much prettier, than I am" Mary-Beth shyly replied and like most of the things she did (especially lately), her way of talking herself down only made him all the more grateful, that he was the one who got to take this amazing one of a kind girl to the dance and show her what a proper good time is made of.

"They won't be in my eyes" he truthfully replied, which also had the bonus of getting him a cute smile in return from the object of his affections.

"I'm glad that we had this chance to talk, before the hustle and bustle of the dance begins. Look, I've thought about it a lot and I'm just not sure that I'm ready to take you back. Yet!" Mary-Beth quickly added, if only so that he didn't think that there was zero chance that it could happen. "And it isn't just because of what happened between you and Hannah. After tonight, it'll be over a month before we see one another again and ..."

"You don't want to spend all of that time missing me. I can't say that I haven't thought the same thing" he answered, and it looked to him, like Mary-Beth was relieved to hear it. Not that it had been exactly what he wanted to hear, yet he had to admit that what she said made perfect sense, from a purely logical standpoint.

"This time, we can chuck it down to bad timing, that's all. It doesn't mean that there isn't a chance that we'll get back together, because I still care about you. Even if you really hurt me, when you cheated on me".

"I know. What do you say that just for tonight, we pretend like none of that ever happened and simply concentrate on having fun instead?"

"I'd say that after the hell of taking all of those finals, if anyone deserves it, it's us!" she smilingly told him, before taking his hand and clutching it tightly.

This was how they were still standing, when the taxi arrived moments later to take them to their school, where what was hopefully to become a carefree and highly entertaining evening awaited them.

Jack had to admit that if there was one thing they were pretty good at, when it came to Capeside High, it was their ability to make the same old gym, that they had P.E. in twice a week, into something that resembled a place, it was almost logical to choose as your party location. This time, the theme of the decorations was "Vacation! Hooray!" (a theme that had apparently been chosen by unanimous vote among the party committee members), meaning that you had sort of a beach theme mixed with huge blown-up pictures of famous tourist sites from around the world. In any case, it looked like it was a hit with everyone and after they'd been fed and paid for the customary "Most Expensive Picture, you'll Have Taken of Yourself All Year", as Jen sarcastically liked to put it, they made their way out to the dancefloor. With "You Get What You Give" (one of his favorite songs) being played by the DJ, it made for a nice start to the evening as well, when it came to what kind of songs they'd be subjected to and with both of them having a blast, they kept it going for another handful of songs, before "Cotton Eye Joe" came on, marking a natural break to rest their legs and get some punch, as far as both of them were concerned!

"So, who's your bet on?" Jen cryptically asked him, while they were waiting in line.

"For what?" he asked, having no clue what she meant.

"Which of the girls here will end up crying her eyes out in the girl's room, before the evening is over?"

"Is that a tradition or something?" he cluelessly had to ask, since again, he really didn't have the faintest clue!

"It's practically an unwritten one! Trust me, I've never been to a school dance, where I haven't seen it happening at least one time during the evening! My best bet so far, is on Heather Doherty!"

"Why her?"

"Haven't you seen the way her date and her best friend have been shamelessly flirting, every time her back is turned? Here I thought that it was so obvious, there was no way that everyone wouldn't notice it!"

"I guess, I'm just not the sort of person, who picks up on things like that. Unless it's right up in my face and there's no way, I can avoid noticing it!"

"Spoken like a true guy!" she dryly semi-joked, as they made their way to the end of the line.

"Which flavor looks more delicious to you? Green, yellow, blue or red?" he quipped to Jen, who thought it over for a moment.

"I'm a big believer that we only live once, so I'm trying my luck with the blue punch!" Jen cheerfully replied.

"In that case, I'll go safe and pick the red. One blue and one red, please" he ordered and soon after, each of them was holding a cup of punch. Of somewhat questionable quality, it should be added.

"What does yours taste like?" Jen asked him, after having made a scrunchy face at the taste of the beverage of her own choice.

"Something undefinable that sort of tastes like berries, but not entirely, mixed with what I can only assume is an enormous amount of sugar!" he semi-joked in return, even if his description of the red liquid, he was holding, wasn't too far off from how it actually tasted. "Yours?"

"The only way to describe it is that it tastes like blue, and I can't say that it's a flavor, that's to my personal taste! Ah, look! There goes Heather Doherty, running off to the girl's room, almost like clockwork!" Jen triumphantly answered, before pointing the girl in question to him, who admittedly looked pretty upset and like her taking a break from the party to have a good cry-out, wasn't looking all that unlikely.

"You sure know how to read people and situations like that".

"I like to call it the one benefit to having raised myself with very little help from my parents. It's probably what drew me to you right away, like I was".

"How do you figure?"

"Because I knew right from the start, that you would never turn me into one of those overly emotional and insecure girls, who has to run off to cry in the middle of a dance, when she should be having fun with her friends instead. You know, it is sort of a prom custom, not that I'm a fan of any antiquated custom that makes teenage girls feel forced to do something, they're not ready for ... then again, we can't really say that it would be my first time either, so ... I guess, what I trying to get to is ..." Jen began very adorably rambling, before he felt the need to quickly cut her off.

"You don't have to say it out loud, Jen. I'm just not ready to do that yet" he quickly and blatantly lied, although if it even was a lie or not could be considered up for debate, given the circumstances.

"I know and I'm fine with it! I really am! Look, forget that I even mentioned it, okay?" Jen asked of him, and he smiled it off to her in reply.

The look in her eyes told him otherwise though, and if they hadn't been at the prom and surrounded by a gym full of witnesses, perhaps this could have been the moment, where he had managed to conjure up the needed courage from within and told her the reasons why he could never give her, what she wanted of him. Once again too, it made him feel sick of himself, that he hadn't done it far earlier, like he should have.

Little did he know however, that before the evening was over, his secret would be out to the one girl, he'd most wanted to tell it to.

END OF CHAPTER FORTY-EIGHT

Chapter Text

"You love her

But she loves him

And he loves somebody else

You just can't win

And so it goes

'Til the day you die

This thing they call love

It's gonna make you cry

I've had the blues

The reds and the pinks

One thing´s for sure

Love stinks!"

J. GEILS BAND (From the album "Love Stinks" (1980))

Andie had always wanted the best for her twin brother. That should almost go without saying and she hoped that he was never in any doubt about it, but one part of their interpersonal relationship that she'd only told him tiny pieces about, was how she'd secretly been steering him in the right direction, starting sometime in their pre-teens. To begin with, this has only consisted of simple things like looking over his English paper for spelling errors, when he wasn't looking, or the first time that he attempted to cook for them and apparently had entirely forgotten that there's a very popular ingredient called salt, that can be rather important if you want your food to taste of anything! In time though, her "duties" had increased with every passing year and when Jack had started dating, was when the scale of her interference in his life began to reach new heights.

Someone had to as well (or in any case, that was how Andie saw it!), seeing as his first choices of girls were like a line-up of one hopeless case after another, while Kate (their neighbor and only logical choice for him, who was crushing hard on him) had to watch with herself from the sidelines, as one "Not Having a Chance in Hell" girl after another got taken on dates by her oblivious brother. It wasn't as if one of those date choices had been all that more disastrous than the others, so it was hard to pinpoint exactly when she'd decided that enough was enough and to fix Jack and Kate up, but once she had, all she had to do was let nature take its course, or at least that was how she chose to remember it. In reality, it had taken hours of convincing her brother, why it was such a great idea on her part, before he'd asked Kate out on their first date and after a week of them being a couple had passed, it almost seemed to her like he was losing interest in the relationship already.

When they came to Capeside, it hadn't taken more than a few days of them knowing Jen, before Andie had become sure that her brother had found his perfect match. After all, where else was he going to find a girl, whom he found it so easy to talk to and had as much in common with, as he did with that fellow blonde friend of theirs? Nowhere is where and when they'd finally (after far too long of a build-up, for her own liking) hooked up, the naïve and hopeless romantic side of her quickly convinced herself that it would last forever between them, still it was like Jack was holding back from giving himself entirely to Jen and she couldn't understand why. Perhaps, this was why she decided that it was time to give him another "A Helping Hand", even if he'd expressly told her to stay out of his love life from now on.

"Are you having as much fun, as I am?" she cheerily asked Jen, while they were waiting for their dates to return from the restroom, and at the same time giving their increasingly sore feet a rest from all of that rigorous dancing, they'd been doing for the past couple of hours.

"I don't know if that's possible!" Jen semi-joked in return, since it actually wasn't that unlikely that Andie was having more fun than anyone else there.

"What can say? Going on a date, when there's no chance of getting some can sometimes be more fun, than going on a serious date".

"Yeah, but you're still hoping that you'll be bringing a boyfriend to some of these dances next year, aren't you?" Jen slyly asked and Andie while didn't mind being single as such, she also couldn't deny that her friend wasn't entirely off in her assumption.

"Who knows? Bigger miracles have happened, am I right?"

"I'm guessing that you've heard it said dozens of times before, but it really does usually happen to you, when you least expect it to. I mean, do you think I had any idea that I'd meet the guy, I'd end up having my first healthy romantic relationship with, when I turned up for school on the first day after Christmas break?"

"I'm guessing that you didn't!"

"Not even the slightest suspicion, but that's how life takes some strange twists and turns sometimes! All you have to do is be patient and it'll happen to you too, is what I'm trying to say".

"We'll see, won't we? Speaking of my brother, I take it that you're both still on cloud nine and everything is honky dory between you two?" Andie quietly asked and despite Jen being a little thrown off by her question, it also didn't seem to bother her.

"Yeah, why wouldn't it be?" Jen nervously answered and seeing the opportunity to, Andie just had to ask Jen the one question, she'd been the most curious about for a while by then.

"No reason! All I meant was that it doesn't seem to me like you guys have lost your spark as quickly, as he did with his ex-girlfriend" Andie explained and hearing so also drew a small smile from Jen.

"That's nice to hear. He doesn't like to talk about her, unless I bring her name up".

"It doesn't surprise me too much, because he rarely liked talking about her, or any of the things they did together, even when they were still a couple. If it hadn't been for Kate spilling the beans to me, I still would have thought that he was virgin, believe it or not!" she said jokingly to Jen, although the change in Jen's expression told her that it wasn't equally amusing to both of them.

And, before long, Andie would come to realize how she'd just stuck her foot in her mouth, like she'd never done it before.

"Are you sure that they had sex?" Jen asked back, as dozens of conflicting thoughts and emotions kept running through her mind. The biggest being a huge question mark on why her boyfriend would lie to her about not feeling ready to have sex yet, when he apparently was ready for it with his ex-girlfriend.

"If they didn't, then Kate was putting on an acting performance for the ages in front of me, I can tell you that much! Haven't you two ... because I kind of assumed, that you already had!" Andie, who was looking increasingly like she needed to apologize for something, stumblingly got out.

"If you'll excuse me, I feel the sudden need to get some fresh air. Tell your brother that he can find me outside, will you?"

"Sure" Andie only just got out, before Jen was out of her seat and already on her way to the outer doors.

Luckily for Jen, it was rather quiet outside with the only sounds being the faint smacking of lips from couples, who were taking their own break from the school's PDA code. that even if it was a party, was still in full effect and for those caught breaking it, there was a pretty good chance that they'd be starting off the next school year with a few days of after school detention to look forward to. Most of those couples stayed in the dark though, for obvious reasons, giving her some much-needed privacy to think over what had just happened. It couldn't be that the reason why he didn't want to sleep with her, was that he didn't find her attractive enough, could it? While she didn't want to think it, there was an ever-present low self-esteem monster residing in her psyche that kept reminding her of every little thing, she didn't like about herself and feeling like she was an ugly duckling had always been on the top of that list. Right now, it was telling her that it was only thanks to Jack feeling pity for her, that he'd pretended to like her back, the way she liked him.

"There you are! I can't say that I haven't had this idea myself too, a few times this evening" Jack smilingly said, as he came out to join her.

Seeing how down she was looking washed that smile off his face quickly however, and his facial expression quickly turned to one of concern instead.

"What's wrong?" he asked, as if it was that easy for her to come out and tell him, how he'd made her feel like the most unwanted girl in the entire world, just from knowing what he didn't want to do with her.

"Jack, tell me the truth this time. Did you have sex with your ex, yes or no?" she bravely asked, as she stared him into the eyes to make sure that she got an honest answer this time.

"Where's this coming from? I never slept with Kate, I've already told you that lots of times!" he exasperatedly replied, with this only making her even surer that he hadn't been entirely upfront with her.

"That isn't what your sister just told me! If you think that I'm too ugly to do it with, you could have just said so!" she practically yelled at him and his pleas of "It has nothing to do with that!" went in one ear and out of the other, as she ran inside to do the one overly girly thing, she'd long sworn that she would never do at a school dance.

To run off to the girl's room and cry her eyes out.

"What exactly did you say to Jen?" a rather angry Jack asked Andie, who'd only moments earlier seen Jen running off to the girl's room, looking upset like she'd never seen her be it before.

"Nothing, really!"

"Andie, I have to hear the truth from you! Did you tell her things about me and Kate, you had no right to tell her about?" he accusingly asked and immediately, she had a pretty good idea what had just transpired outside.

"I was only trying to help, I swear!" was all that she could think of replying, even if it didn't do much to relieve how upset her brother was with her.

"This is exactly why I told you to mind your own business! Why couldn't you just have done that, like I've countless times expressly asked you to?"

"I will from now on, I promise!" she tried telling Jack, but it didn't look like her apology was helping much and right after, he left her to go and find the girl, who was most likely crying her eyes out in the girl's room, thanks to herself and her big mouth.

Thankfully, Pacey soon arrived at the scene and could easily see how upset, she was.

"What's wrong?" he asked, looking concerned for her.

"Not much. Just that I've probably ended the best relationship, my brother's been in, because I couldn't keep my nose out of it!" she half-cryingly answered and like he always seemed to do, Pacey knew that this was the time to give her a comforting hug.

"I'm sure, that isn't true" he reassured her. "Everything will be okay again, you'll see".

"I'm not so sure this time. Jack is really mad at me and it's hard to blame him for it".

"In that case, why don't you put that big and clever brain of yours to work on finding a solution? If you can solve complicated math problems, that college professors would have trouble with, getting two teenagers who already like one another back together can't be that hard" he continued to build up her self-confidence and following a few more minutes of it, she managed to come to a resolution on what to do.

"Jen, are you in here?" Andie tentatively asked, as she came into the girl's room, that aside for at parties like this was only used during gym class, or whenever one of Capeside's school teams were playing a home game.

"I'll be out soon, Andie. You don't have to worry about me" she faintly heard Jen reply from inside one of the stalls, in the otherwise empty restroom.

"Look, I shouldn't have said anything about my brother and his ex to you. The relationship that you two have is so much healthier, than the one he had with her, and I don't want to be reason, why you do something as drastic as break up with him. He really likes you; I know that for certain" she tried telling Jen through the door. It worked too, seeing as Jen came out of the stall, albeit looking puffier eyed, than she usually did.

"Would you believe that this is the first time since my grandfather died, where I've allowed myself to cry like this?" Jen asked her, before looking herself over in the mirror. "I look like a mess now!"

"I'm sure that my brother wouldn't agree with you!" Andie tried cheering her up with.

"Then, why doesn't he want to do more than plain old kissing with me?" Jen asked and, in all honesty, Andie had no good answer for her.

"Nothing more than that, at all? "Andie had to ask, seeing as this was beginning to sound strange to her too. Especially, considering all of the things that she already through Kate knew, that Jack had done with her former neighbor and friend.

"There's sure to be seventh graders out there, who have done naughtier things to one another, than we have! I just don't get it! I'm not ugly, am I?"

"Of course, you're not!"

"Then why doesn't he want to do more than kissing with me? Here I thought that I had him figured out, but I guess that I don't at all!" Jen frustratedly scoffed, before giving the wall a small kick for good measure.

"Jen, I know that I don't have even the tiniest bit of experience, when it comes to being in a real relationship and that advice from me on them for that reason, has to sound kind of hollow. It sounds to me though, like you're asking these questions to the wrong person" was the best answer, Andie could come up with on the fly.

As cliched as it was, however, it accomplished what it was supposed to and moments later, they were back in gym and looking for Jack, so that his poor girlfriend could finally get some of the (honest) answers, she very understandably craved.

Jen was done playing the nice girl and for once in her life, was demanding some straight answers, which was why she'd simply grabbed Jack's hand and led him down to an otherwise abandoned hallway, where they could speak in private.

"Why could you do it with Kate and not with me, Jack? That's all I want to know right now!" she told him, as the fear of what the answer would be, grew to be as large as her desire to find out the truth.

"It doesn't have anything to with you!" he tried pleading his case, while sounding as unconvincing, as he ever had.

"If you don't mind me saying so, I beg to differ! Is it that you don't like me?"

"Not at all, Jen! If things were different, I would have considered myself the luckiest guy in not just this school, but the whole world, that I got to date you! Please, believe that!"

"What do you mean by "if things were different", Jack?" she inquired and for the first time, since they began this little "showdown", he couldn't look her in the eyes and turned away from her. Wanting an answer more than ever now, she therefore grabbed his arm and forced him to look her in the eyes.

"You don't want to know, Jen! I don't even want to know it!" he emotionally answered, as a pair of thin streams of tears began flowing from his eyes.

"You're not making any sense!"

"I can't have sex with you, because I'm not turned on by you. Just like I've never been turned on by any girls, Kate included. I'm gay, Jen and I always have been. I tried all that I could to change for you, I just couldn't and ..."

"Shut up, Jack. We've both said everything, that needs to be said" she bit him off, before putting her arms around him and hugging him tightly.

And, as she stood there and held him, while she listened to the barely audible sound of him crying, it was like a calm came over her along with a new resolution: That just like she hadn't turned her back on Abby, when she came out of the closet, she would never dream of turning her back on Jack either.

Andie had been filled with relief, when she saw Jen and Jack returning to the dance together, although she couldn't help noticing that they weren't holding hands anymore. From the looks of it however, they'd had a probably long overdue talk and it seemed to her, like Jack was looking relaxed and like a man, who'd just had a weight pulled off his shoulders.

"We're calling it a night. It's been an eventful enough evening already for the both of us" he told her in the closest they could get to private in a crowded gym full of dancing couples, while Jen was off to get them their coats from the coat room.

"But you're still together, right?"

"It's complicated. There's some stuff, I need to tell you too, that I should have long ago" he told her with a small smile, that comforted her fears over whatever it could be.

In either case, Jack and Jen didn't miss out on much in the last hour or so, before the party guest were politely told to hit the streets, so the clean-up crew could get to work. After they'd dropped off Dawson and Mary-Beth (who'd, it looked to her at least, spent the entire evening flirting with each other), Pacey drove her the rest of the way home, while they listened to his mom's Elton John mixtape, playing from the car's cassette player.

"You know what just hit me? Our summer holiday has just officially begun!" he said with a smile, that she couldn't stop herself from matching with one of her own.

"You don't actually consider going to a school dance the same as going to school, do you?" she quipped back at him.

"I guess not, but you're still doing something on school premises, aren't you?"

"Keep up that level of thinking and you're sure to get straight A's all through the next school year, Pacey! Anyway, don't you still have some summer school, you need to attend?"

"I'll have Joey there with me, so how bad can it really be? The last time I had to go to summer school was after grade six and from what little of it that my brain has chosen to remember, I spent the vast majority of it goofing off with my old buddy Will. By the way, he told me that he's coming for a short visit sometime during the summer, so you'll get a chance to meet him".

"Cool! What's he like?"

"Kind of like me, just with shorter and brighter hair!" Pacey lamely joked and like so many times before, even his lamest jokes still brought a giggle out of her.

"When you describe him in such glowing ways, I can't wait to meet him!" she joked in return.

"I'm sure that you'll hit it off. Just like you will with Joey, I have no doubt there. I'll tell you what, McPhee?"

"What?"

"This, I'm absolutely sure, will be a summer that we'll never forget, for as long as we live!"

Would it be, though? Andie certainly had high hopes that it would and if the right boy happened to come along during it and swept her off her feet with the first kiss of her life, that wouldn't exactly be the worst thing ever either, in her eyes!

"Wow!" was all that Abby could think of replying, as they were sitting on Jen's bed and Jen had just explained to her what had gone down with Jack that evening. "You didn't get any vibe off him, that he could have been ..."

"If there was such a vibe going on, I was far too oblivious in my crush on him to notice it" Jen truthfully answered.

"I know that this is a little out of context, but I actually had a dream a little similar to what happened to you, only a few days before I came out to everyone!"

"What happened in it?" Jen asked out of courtesy, not that she really cared.

"I was naked and making out with this really hot girl! I'm talking a perfect ten with a smoking body to match it ..."

"Is there a point for you to get to?"

"So anyway, in my dream I'm making out with this uber-foxy girl, when she stops me from kissing her and tells me that she's only into making out with guys. It's sort of the same, don't you think?"

"Only, yours was in a dream and mine just happened less than two hours ago, in real life!"

"I know and I feel really sorry for you. I know that you liked him a lot" Abby told her with a sympathetic smile.

"I just keep thinking back to everything that happened and wondering if there weren't any ... I don't know ... signs that I should have picked up on, you know? Any little hints, that could have given away that he's ..."

"As gay as Liberace was?"

"I don't know if anyone in today's world is that flamboyantly gay, not even drag queens! Most of all, it just sucks to be single again, now that I'd gotten used to having someone to spoil me and tell me sweet nothing's".

"You can find someone here in no time, if you set your mind to it! If I can in a town with only one other lesbian girl, who's my own age in it, as far as I know, then a single, straight, pretty and might I add, damn awesome girl like you shouldn't have any trouble with it!" Abby said and maybe it was the way that she did, but it made things seem less hopeless all of a sudden.

After all, if you'd calculated the odds of Abby finding romantic love in Capeside compared to her own, it was no competition and even if Jen's first real attempt with a boyfriend since leaving her wild days behind hadn't ended like she wanted it to, it didn't mean in any way that there wasn't still hope for her.

Who on earth could it end up being though, therein laid the big question?

END OF CHAPTER FORTY-NINE

Chapter Text

"I'm on my way

On my way

Home, sweet home"

Mötley Crüe (From the album "Theatre of Pain" (1985))

It was finally "The Day", as in the day that Pacey had been looking forward to, ever since he'd kissed Joey goodbye and watched her walk all the way through the security check at Boston International Airport, until there was sight of her no more. In that moment, half a year had felt to him like it was a lifetime away and paranoid thoughts of how she'd tell him on her first day back, that he'd been replaced by some French guy, who was far more sophisticated than he was, flooded his mind and had made the rest of that day one of the most miserable ones, he could recount having lived through. Still, the next day he'd gotten on his bike and headed off to school, like he always did and with the help of his friends, both old and new, the months had passed by to get him to where he was now: On the verge of finally seeing the love of his young life again.

Before then however, he had a far more medial and less exciting task to deal with, that being helping his sister Gretchen move back into her old room, where she would see out the next several months of being pregnant in the loving embrace of her family. Or, in theory at least, that's how it should have been.

"Have you talked to dad, since you told him about your pregnancy?" Pacey asked her, while he was toiling with trying to fit his sister's rather enormous suitcase into the small trunk of his mom's car, that clearly wasn't built to house objects of such size.

"Only one time over the phone and after a few minutes, we were already down to talking about the weather. Dealing with situations like these has never been dad's strong side, has it?" Gretchen sighed, making him feel a bit sad on her behalf.

"Can you say that they're yours?"

"Not really! You know, even if the reason why I'm moving home again isn't the best one, I'm still glad that we'll be living together again. Sure, you can be a pain the butt sometimes, but I've still missed having you around to talk to!" Gretchen cheekily told him with a small smile, that he felt the need to match with one of his own. If only to try to cheer her up.

"That makes two of us. Nothing against Doug, I'm glad to have him as my brother, it's just ..."

"That he was born with a stick up the butt, and it's why you two, like it is with me and him, can never truly relate to one another?"

"Kind of, yeah. Hey, I've tried getting Doug to cut loose, just to get him to try what it's like for once, in his life filled with nothing except for going to work for fifty hours a week, before coming home and listening to his diva CDs, if he isn't rewatching old Streisand or Barbara Cartland movies, but he won't budge even a fraction of an inch on it! Just between us, I don't think that he'll ever learn to".

"Maybe, if we tried teaming up on him, we could achieve what no one else before us has been capable of, and actually get our brother to act his age!" Gretchen jokingly suggested, just as Pacey finally managed to get her suitcase dug far enough into the trunk, that he could close the hatch. How they were going to get it out again was a different matter and probably a much bigger problem, but also one that he didn't have to deal with in front of half-filled parking lot full of onlookers at Capeside train station, many of whom were snickering to themselves at the sight of his plight.

"I still don't know if I'd take that bet!" he cheerily replied, before getting behind the wheel of the well-worn 1991 Datsun (with over half a million miles to its name), that would take himself and his sister the rest of the way to her childhood home.

"Anyway, you'll probably be spending most of your summer playing the most adorable couple in all of Capeside with your little girlfriend, am I right?" Gretchen grinningly asked, as the engine (after a few sputters first to "warm up") roared to life.

"That's my plan! I just hope that it's hers too!" he truthfully answered.

Saying farewell to France and everything that it had meant to her over the past half year had been an emotional experience for Joey, not that she hadn't been preparing herself for weeks leading up to it, that it would be. After herself and Emma had gone to the end of the school year party together and she'd said goodbye to her few French friends, even if she would be hard pressed to call them friends as such, they'd only had a single day more together before her student Visa expired and she would officially become an illegal immigrant. Since this was the case, herself and Emma had made the most of it and played tourists for the day, going to see all of those sights in their soon to be former home city, that they'd kept putting off for another day, now that they only had one more day to.

In the evening, they'd had a fun time at home with her host parents and not the least, spoiling the one who'd miss her the most, to the extreme and making him feel loved: Her host family's cat Zizou, whom she had to admit that she would no doubt end up missing, probably almost as much as he would miss her. Part of her wanted to smuggle him home in her suitcase but knowing that they had two people in their household back home, who were allergic to cat hair, made her forget about what would probably have been an impossible (and sort of cruel) scheme to carry out, anyway.

She had to leave early the morning after, if she was to get to the Charles de Gaulle airport in Paris in time for her connecting flight, that after the short local flight she'd taken from to Toulouse to Paris, would take her all the way to Boston, where her family and friends would be waiting to welcome her home. This entire first part of her day was mostly just stressful and a part of it, that she couldn't get over and done with quickly enough, so when she sat down to get comfortable in her seat in the huge Concorde jet from Air France, it was a relief to her to know that from here on out, it was severely limited how many things could go wrong.

Luckily for her as well, the flight was only around three quarters booked, meaning that she had an entire three-seat row of seats to herself, a huge luxury when you're on a very long flight, like she was. As for the in-flight movies, they weren't anything worth getting too excited over (first they showed "Free Willy", which also just so happened to have been the first movie that she'd ever seen in the cinema, followed by some far too dumb for her liking Pauly Shore movie, that she gave up on after five minutes, at the most), so instead she spent most of those many hours looking out of the window at the clouds and the sea whizzing past, down far below them, while fantasizing about all of the things, she would be doing over the coming roughly month and a half, before the realities of the world, and by this she meant school, started staring her in the face again.

So far, there weren't all that many things on her agenda for the summer, not that she minded it all that much. The only things that were set in stone were three things: Going on an extended weekend trip to New York with Jen, working at the Ice House and herself having to attend summer school a few days a week. Something, that in her own opinion didn't seem entirely fair, seeing as she had taken pretty much the same exams as her friends had, only she couldn't use it for school credit, just because she'd taken them in a different country with a different grading system, but that's a different story. The one positive side to it was that it gave her the chance to spend even more time with Pacey, the one thing she'd been looking forward to the most, especially on some of those cold and lonely evenings, where he'd felt so far away from her that she began fearing, if she wouldn't ever again get to hug and kiss him, not to mention touch the most private parts of his body, that he didn't let anyone except for her come close to getting their hands on.

Before she knew it, it was called out over the flight P.A. that they were starting their descent and would be landing in Boston soon.

Isn't it funny how the last minutes, while you're waiting for something big to happen can feel like they last an eternity, when the time leading up to it felt like it passed by so much faster? This little philosophical tripe was what Pacey had been thinking about, ever since he'd arrived at the airport with Dawson, Jen, Bessie, Bodie and Alexander, the only one of them who was blissfully oblivious, when it came to what was about to go down. Some of the others had wanted to come too, but someone had to keep the restaurant open, which meant that Abby and Joey's dad had to stay behind in Capeside (not that either Joey's dad or Bodie had minded, since the alternative of them spending several hours in a car together only spelled trouble) and they also didn't want to make Joey feel crowded during her first minutes back in the country, where she'd been born and called home. There was plenty of time to introduce her to all of the new friends, they'd made while she was gone either way, and they'd already planned a coming home gathering for her at Dawson's parents' house that evening, where she'd get to meet most of them.

All of that was so many hours into the future though, that in this moment, where his heart was beating ever faster, as he kept a keen eye on one of the giant airport clocks and counted down the seconds to when Joey would make her appearance in the arrival area and everything would be right in his world again, it couldn't have mattered less to him.

"Where could she be? Her plane landed over twenty minutes ago!" he annoyedly asked Jen, who was obviously almost as excited to see Joey again, as he was.

"Getting your suitcase in baggage claim can take forever, trust me!" Jen explained. "The one and only time that I went to St. Tropez with my parents, we had to wait for over half an hour after we arrived at JFK, before we got our luggage".

"Didn't you once tell me that your parents go there once a year?"

"They do. Apparently, it's always just been easier for them to leave their biggest piece of luggage, also known as me, at home, so they can live it up in the French Alps, as they see fit! I really have such wonderful and caring parents, that I should write a book about them, shouldn't I?" Jen sarcastically asked and once again she'd managed to make himself feel less sorry for himself, when it came to his own rather dysfunctional family unit.

"Look, there she is!" Dawson called to their attendance, as he pointed to the gate, where those who had just arrived on their respective flights came out of.

And oh dear, did Joey look prettier than ever or what? He'd kept reminding himself again and again over the past days, that she would probably look a little older, than the last time he'd seen and kissed her, but if she did then it was so little, that it was barely noticeable to the naked eye. After a few seconds of her nervously looking around, while she bit her lower lip, she lit up in a wide smile, when she saw them and rushed over to them so fast, that she almost dropped her suitcase on the way.

"It feels so nice to be back home with you guys again!" were the first words that she said, and if there was one guy in that entire airport, who could say that he agreed with her the most, then it had to be himself.

"How does it feel to back in Capeside again?" Dawson asked her, while they were lounging around in the living room at his house and waiting for the rest of the guests for the gathering in her honor to arrive.

"Nice, I guess. It's a bit weird though, to think that when I woke up this morning, I was all the way over on the other side of the world!" she bluntly answered him, getting a small nod in reply.

"I can only imagine that it is. If I'm going to have myself a career in the movie industry, it'll probably be the kind of thing, I'll have to get used to".

"Unless you get a steady gig on one of those soap operas that Bessie pretends like she's never watched, but she still for some "unexplained reason" knows the names of all of the main characters in?"

"It's steady money, I guess".

"You can't tell me that the big dreamer Dawson Leery has already resigned himself to becoming a guy, who'd be satisfied with making the purest kind of fluff-tv, if it means that he's making enough money to pay the bills?" she teasingly asked him.

"He's grown up a whole lot, while you've been away, Joey. All of the things that happened with Mary-Beth made me take a long, hard look in the mirror and I was selfish before, I can see that now. You can say that it's just because I'm an only child, but I know lots of others like me and none of them ... did the things, I did. Please, don't ask any more into it than that" he asked back imploringly.

"I won't, if you don't want me to. So, is it completely finished between you and MB, or ..."

"There are clear and obvious signs, that it isn't" he quickly told her with a small smile. "What about you and Pacey? Any grand plans for the summer?"

"Only if you count making out until our lips are numb!" she jokingly replied, just before the boy they'd just been talking about came in to join them.

"Sorry to break up the nice atmosphere in here, but do you think that you two can get off your butts long enough, to help Mitch and I carry everything for the party in from outside?" Pacey gaspingly asked and for some reason, she couldn't help herself from kissing him.

"What was that for?" he asked her.

"Just for being you and because it's my right as your girlfriend, to press my lips against yours, whenever I feel like it!" she smilingly answered, before laying another of those wild and wet kisses, that she'd been missing so much, for so long, on him.

The gathering to mark Joey's homecoming went about as well as could be expected, or so Pacey thought to himself by the end of it, as he was helping Dawson and his parents with cleaning up afterwards. As he'd expected it hadn't taken too long for Joey and Jack to warm up each other, although he couldn't have prepared himself for the news that him and Jen had for everyone: That they'd decided to break up but would still continue to be close friends. Honestly, he'd expected Jen at least to be more shook up over it, but from what he could tell, she seemed like it had been her choice too, making him think to himself that it was probably a mutual break-up between them. In any case, the details of it weren't any of his business and they were still looking as chummy as ever, so if nothing else, they'd both made a good friend out of their little romance with one another and for that, he was glad for Jen, whom you still couldn't say had all that many of them, when it came to boys. Or Jack, for that matter, whose social circle basically was comprised of the people, he was in the company of during their announcement, if we didn't count his mom and dad, who'd only recently left Providence behind, to come and live with the rest of his family.

The only one who Joey wasn't clicking with all that well was Andie, whom she didn't talk with for more than a minute or two all evening and only in short, one or two phrase sentences. It didn't worry him too much though, although he guessed that it must have bothered Andie, who left early, saying that she wasn't feeling well.

Joey obviously enjoyed herself though, and in his opinion, that was the main thing. After they'd kissed goodbye and she'd headed home with her dad and an already sleeping Alexander, all he could think about was how much he was looking forward to the both the day after and the many days after that, where they could simply enjoy one another and being together again, before the rigors of school and work would return and severely limit the amount of time, they could spend alone together.

"Was it just me or did this evening feel like it put a nice bow and arrow on this whole past year as a whole?" he asked Dawson, as they were taking the last of the trash out.

"In its own sort of way, I guess that it did. You still have one more thing to do though, unless you're forgetting it?" Dawson reminded him, not that he had to.

"Do I really have to do it? That was just some stupid throw-away idea, that I came up with off the top of my head!" Pacey tried arguing his case.

"Do you want me to tell Joey that you're the kind of guy, who goes back on his promises? I don't think, she'd like to hear that!" Dawson teased him and with it not looking like there was any way out of it, he still had one last thing to do, before he could move on with his summer.

"Pacey, this is by far the most ridiculous thing, you've ever attempted to do and for you, that's really saying something! You'll end up drowning and then, what was the point of all of those months, we spent yearning for one another?" Joey jokingly asked a gasping for air Pacey, who was still less than a third of the way done with doing what he'd apparently told Dawson, that he would do, if Dawson and Mary-Beth broke up before the end of the schoolyear: swim buck naked from one bank of the creek to the other!

Which, just about everyone could have told him was a near impossible endeavor, unless you were an Olympic swimmer in tip-top shape and for as much as she loved Pacey's trimmed down physique, by far the biggest reason that he had it, was thanks to him riding his bike almost everywhere, he went. Not thanks to him having the used the muscles that you needed to have properly trained up, if you were going to swim the just under a mile from one side of the creek to the other. Thankfully, he'd had enough sense in him, to ask her to sail in his boat next to him the entire way, just so it couldn't end in a total disaster.

"How far do I have to left?" he gaspingly asked her, before changing to a breaststroke again after a few dozen feet or so of doing could best be described as a doggy paddle, from what Joey could tell, since the dusk was only allowing her a small glimpse of what went on under the water.

"Way too far! What if I just told everyone, that you'd made it all the way to the other bank? Will that save your precious manhood from feeling threatened?" she quipped at him and after a few more feet of swimming, he finally conceded defeat and allowed her to help drag his naked corpus up on the boat, where he collapsed onto its deck instantly.

"I don't think there's a single muscle in my entire body, that hasn't gone into cramps!" he complained loudly, as she smiled at him and picked up a towel, that she wrapped around him.

"Is that better?" she asked him, before kissing his lips for what had to have been the six thousandth time already, since she'd landed at Boston International Airport, a little under a week earlier. This time, they tasted of a mix of salty sweat and what was probably rather dirty lake water, which admittedly wasn't the most pleasant taste in the world, but as long as those lips were attached to the boy, she loved, Joey couldn't have possibly minded less!

"Anything would help right now!" he jokingly answered her, while trying to stretch out some of his most sore muscles.

"You mean, like if I did this?" she cheekily asked him, before running her hands down his chest and to her prize, hiding down beneath his legs. After all, times alone like these were hard to come by, so why shouldn't they take advantage of the situation? What she felt down there, gave her the need to ask him a question, however. "Pacey, why is it so small right now? Or, is it me who imagined that it was bigger?"

"It's called "The Shrinkage Factor". I'll explain it to you sometime, when my entire body isn't hurting and if you really feel like you're on a need-to-know basis!" he jokingly asked back, as he all the while clearly enjoyed what she was doing to his nether regions.

"Why not now?" she asked back and was a little taken by surprise, when he instead of answering her, began kissing her and pulling herself down on top of himself and at the same time, began taking her thin summer top off. The shock of it made her let out a small squeal of joy, but when comparing the feeling of his hands exploring every inch of her naked skin again, to the multiple times where she'd played with herself while imagining this moment, there truly was no comparison.

"Because right now, we have my boat to ourselves, there isn't another soul in sight, I'm already naked and we can finally get to do, whatever the hell, we want to!" he gasped, although this time it was thanks to the erotic pleasure, she was providing him with and not just sore muscles. Even though, if Joey had to be truthful, she still wasn't always entirely sure of when which was which!

"What did you have in mind?" she teasingly asked him, before taking off her own shorts and panties, to put them on a more even playing field.

"This" he simply said, before he began sticking finger up in a most intimate part of her body, that it was only herself aside from him, who'd stuck one up in before then.

END OF CHAPTER FIFTY

Chapter Text

"I'm a-gonna raise a fuss, I'm a-gonna raise a holler

About a-workin' all summer just-a tryin' to earn a dollar

Every time I call my baby, try to get a date

My boss says "No dice son, you gotta work late"

Sometimes I wonder, what I'm a-gonna do

But there ain't no cure for the summertime blues"

EDDIE COCHRAN (Single from 1958)

You couldn't exactly say that Jen's summer had started with a bang, more like a whimper that kept getting fainter by the day. Not that it hadn't kicked off well enough with Joey's coming home gathering, but that was also the day before she was given the news, that she'd been dreading for a while: That the owner of "Screen Time", whom they never saw anyway, had sold the store to some large chain, who would be "re-evaluating the employment status" of those already working there (a fancy way of saying that they were all fired, by the sounds of it) and would be closing the store down temporarily, while they had builders in there to renovate the place and make whatever changes to it, that the new owners saw fit to make. Either way, it wouldn't be the same place to work anymore, meaning that she probably would have had to quit no matter what, when some corporate suck-up began telling her how to conduct herself, while she was at work, so all they really did was save her the trouble of having to tell them in person.

The one problem of course, was how this also meant that she' d quickly hit onto cash flow problem, since most of the meager funds in her bank account had to be set aside for her weekend in New York with Joey, and that the alternative to working, which was coming back to her parents on her crying knees and beg them for an allowance again, was as out of the question as shaving her head bald, or jumping out of plane without a parachute would have been. Summer jobs in Capeside weren't easy to come by though, seeing as most of the temporary jobs around town had already been filled and that her own work experience extended to having worked in a video store for a few months and only for handful of hours each week at that.

Thankfully, there were still free pleasures, and it was one of these that she was enjoying, while lying close to comatose on Grams' couch, when Joey and Abby practically came barging in.

"Jen, there's no way around it anymore! It's time for an intervention!" Joey explicitly said, while Abby nodded vehemently in agreement with her.

"I don't have any moolah to go somewhere fun with you guys!" Jen lazily replied. "I've been fired, remember?"

"And have you actually tried looking for a new job, since you got fired?" Abby accusingly asked, as if it wasn't already crystal clear to Jen that her two best girlfriends were ganging up on her.

"It's no use. No one's hiring!" Jen tried arguing her case, even if it didn't seem to work that well.

"How can you be sure of that, when all you've been doing for the past week is sleep until ten o'clock, where you get up to watch 90210 reruns for most of the afternoon?" Joey, in an all too annoying right in every word she was saying kind of way, asked and had Jen there.

"That's where you're wrong, Joey! Today, it was "Melrose Place" reruns!" she answered, trying to make one sound like a more intellectual choice of programming, than the other.

"Like that's any better?" Abby snappily argued back and before Jen could protest too much over it, her friends had her in the bathroom and trying to run a hairbrush through the bees-nest on top of her head, that had only barely seen one for a couple of days.

"Bessie, that's the third temporary hire, that you've fired in two days! At this rate, it won't be long until we run out of possible applicants!" Joey tried arguing her case to her very stubborn looking sister, who'd just laid off yet another in the already long line of temporary hires, who hadn't made it through their first week of working at the Ice House.

"Did you hear the mouth on that girl, Joey? If she talks that way to the customers ..." Bessie tried arguing back, before Joey cut her off.

"We both know that you didn't like her, from the moment that you laid eyes on her! Did you get the wrong leg out of bed first this morning, or something like that?"

"This morning and every morning!" Bessie sighed and from how tired she looked, if Joey had to guess, she would have guessed that she was at least ten years older, than she was. "I won't be like this every day during the summer, I promise".

"I hope not, or it'll only be you and I left to serve the long line of customers, who come in here every day!"

"You don't need to remind me! Can you believe that this is just the beginning of the summer, and we still have nearly two months of this proverbial hell to look forward to?" Bessie hopelessly remarked, as yet another line of lunch guests came into the restaurant, putting an end to their short talk.

The only one in the restaurant, who seemed pleased with their tremendous upturn in business was their very own "Duracell Bunny", as Abby had affectionally come to be known, who was like a tiny tornado flying through the dining room, rushing from one table to the next either to serve food, take orders or clear tables, while still managing to keep her service industry smile on for every customer, she waitressed for. Something, that Joey had to admit wasn't always her own strongest side, especially on days like this one, where the hordes of freshly arrived tourists were swarming like locusts all over their usually quiet coastal town, with no place in Capeside seemingly being safe from them.

"Isn't this awesome? I've already made a hundred and fifty bucks in tips today!" a widely smiling Abby asked, while they were both waiting at the pass for their next orders to soon be ready.

"Yeah, but you still have to pay tax off them" Joey remarked, although it didn't do much to interfere with Abby's splendid mood.

"I know, but it's still a solid boost for my bank account. You can't deny that!"

"I'm not and the last thing that I want to do, is to ruin your infectious good mood, Abby. If you can somehow find it within yourself, to enjoy being at work on a insanely busy day like today, then I have to think that you're a little bit crazy, but I'll also be the first to admit that I probably envy you far too much for your enthusiasm!" Joey had only just answered, when they heard a loud bumping sound coming from outside, followed by the unmistakable sound of her older sister moaning in pain.

Now, where Jen had more or less been forced by her friends to go out and face the world, the question was what to spend her day in the sun on. With Dawson, Melissa and Mary-Beth all being away on their respective vacations, Jack and Andie helping their dad with moving the rest of their things from Providence to Capeside, Abby and Joey working and Pacey having to work at the Ice House in the evening, she'd become short on people, that she could hang out with and instead took a walk down to the beach, where she could take a quiet walk by the water. Or so, she thought, seeing as it was already over-run with tourists and after she'd already been hit on by random guys five times over a maximum of ten minutes, she gave up on her idea and made her way back towards the pier, where she would buy an ice cream cone, enjoy it in peace and quiet down there and tell herself, that she'd done enough socializing for one day.

Seeing as the pier was just as filled with tourists, as the beach was though, she couldn't find a quiet place to sit down and in a first for her, she decided to instead take a walk around the parts of the area surrounding the pier, that she either hadn't seen yet or if she had, then she couldn't remember it. In any case, it was a welcome break away from the masses of humanity and some of the buildings that she passed by were so old, that she figured they had to have either been built when the town was founded, or close to it. It was no secret that the town had at first been built around the harbor and it was actually kind of fun for her to see, how little these back-alley parts of the harbor area had changed in time, compared to the rest of the town.

As she passed by the various buildings, she could hear sounds of people working inside of them and she was wondering to herself, who could be working here and for who, when she saw the façade to the one and only business, that was housed down there. Outside of its offices, that looked like they doubled for a small store (where you could buy your assorted boating equipment as well), was a large sign, that read:

HUGHES AND HECKERLING BOAT REPAIRS

YOUR NUMBER ONE CHOICE FOR FAST, CHEAP AND RELIABLE BOAT REPAIRS IN CAPESIDE!

She was just about to leave and head back in the same direction, that she came from, when she noticed another and smaller sign in their window. With her having nothing better to do and her curiosity getting the better of her, she walked up closer to the window, in order to read it:

HELP WANTED

NO EXPERIENCE NECESSARY, ONLY A DESIRE TO WORK AND A WILLINGNESS NOT TO MOAN AND COMPLAIN ABOUT IT!

Could she be a boat repairperson? After a few seconds of considering it, she came to the conclusion that no one said that she couldn't try applying for a job in a field, that aside from being one that girls like herself rarely worked in, also required you to work with your hands. Feeling a touch of feminist pride rising up inside of her and seeing as it wasn't like she had anything to lose, Jen therefore made her way inside.

When she did, the only one that she saw in there was a boy with roughly shoulder-long brown hair, who aside from being solidly in the good half, when it came to looks, also looked to be around the same age, as she was. He flashed her a very friendly looking smile, when they made eye contact.

"Are you here to apply for the job too?" he casually asked, as she made his way over to him.

"There's only one job available?" she asked him back and he nodded.

"That's what they've told me. So, why does a pretty girl like you want to work with repairing boats? I bet that it's not the kind of job, any of your friends would be applying for?" he asked her with a small, albeit kind of cute smile, that she didn't know entirely what to think of.

"You're not actually hitting on me right now, are you?" she cheekily asked the boy, who let out a small laugh at her question, back.

"Are you telling me that I wouldn't stand a chance with you? You don't even know me, so isn't that a bit of a snap decision on your part?"

"You're right, I don't know you and honestly, with how pushy for answers that you are, I'm not sure that I want to!" she annoyedly told him back, even if she had to admit that his stubbornness to get to know her, wasn't all that off-putting to her.

"You still haven't answered my question, Blondie! Why do you want to work in a place, where most of your colleagues will be guys with beer bellies, who are old enough to be your dad and will look at someone like you from moment one, like you've wandered into their place of work by mistake?" the boy continued prodding. Although, it shouldn't have, it began to bring out the fighter in Jen.

"Because it's time that they woke up and realized that it's the 90's and women have been on the job market since the dawn of time, perhaps? If they don't like it, I say screw them!" she replied sharply, drawing yet another smile from this sort of handsome in his own way mystery boy.

"It's a whole lot easier said, than done! What if they won't accept you into the communal friendship and start freezing you out?"

"If they do, then I'll just have to show them that I can do their job just as well as they can and win their respect that way, won't I?" she'd only just asked the boy, when the door to the backrooms opened and a burly and friendly looking man in his 60's, with a big, white beard, came in to join them.

"Found yourself a girlfriend already there, Ricky? That sure didn't take you long!" the elderly man joked, before sharing a grin with the boy, whom she now could easily guess was named Ricky.

"She's only here to apply for work, I swear! Even you in your younger days wouldn't have worked that fast, granddad!" Ricky joked back, drawing a chuckle from the old man.

"Sir, I'm Jen Lindley ..." she began introducing herself, before being waved off by the old man.

"Being called "Sir" only makes me feel older, than I already am! You can call me Joe, like my wife and everyone else does!" the old man, whom she now had found out was called Joe (by everyone), grumpily answered her. "So, Ricky? Do you think that I should hire her?"

"I don't know, granddad!" Ricky humorously answered. "She's got an awful big mouth on her, this one!"

"Phew! It just means that she'll fit perfectly in with the rest of you misfits!" Joe scoffed, a bit like an old-fashioned pirate out at sea, in reply.

"Does this mean that I'm hired?" Jen simply had to ask, seeing as she'd never thought, it would be this easy to find a new job!

"If my grandson thinks that you'll work out fine here, then I trust his sixth sense on it. The job pays ten bucks an hour and you can start first thing tomorrow, just know that you'll only have a job here, until the end of the summer comes and the out of towner's head home, then our business takes a nosedive, before the lead-up to next year's tourist season begins. Can you live with that, Miss Jen Lindley?" old man Joe asked her with a small smile, that she returned with one of her own.

"I think so!" she cheerfully answered and for as little as Jen had attempted to that day, she suddenly found herself being someone's employee again.

"You actually managed to find a job today, huh? How did you manage that?" Joey asked Jen, while they were helping one another with closing down the Ice House after what had been its busiest day in close to a year. A situation that hadn't been helped at all, by Bessie having her little accident out on the patio, earlier that day.

"Blind luck, mostly!" Jen humorously (but honestly too) answered. "Plus, I met a cute guy, who I'm pretty sure was hitting on me, so all in all, it ended up being a well above average day for me!"

"It sounds like you've had a busy day! So, tell me about him?"

"All I know is that his name is Ricky, he clearly isn't from around here and his grandparents own the boat repair shop, where I'll be hopefully be working for most of my summer".

"A boat repair shop? No offense Jen, but I've seen you working with hand tools before and let's just say that it wasn't exactly your "Forte!""

"I won't be working with any tools, I'll be spray painting the boats, after my colleagues are done repairing them. Ricky is going to show me how, he's been doing it for the past two summers".

"Ten bucks say that you'll be dating him within a week!"

"Probably! So, how did everything go here today?" Jen, who was still unaware of what had transpired, asked.

"Bessie took a tumble outside. She hurt her back pretty badly, from what I could tell. Our dad had to take her to the hospital".

"Poor Bessie! What happened?"

"Do you want the real truth or the story, as Bessie wants it to be told from now on and forever more?" Joey asked back, before turning her attention away from stacking chairs up, to wiping down the counter.

"Let me hear both of them, just for the fun of it!"

"The story, as Bessie wants it to be told, is that she lost her balance and fell over thanks to the unevenness in the patio tiles. That way, she can blame dad and Bodie for it, since they'd both promised to have it fixed for the summer":

"And the truth is?"

"That a seagull dropped one flat on top of her head from up high and that the reason why she lost her balance, was because a pair of kids laughed at the sight, and it made her lose her focus for a moment! I've never heard of anyone being so desperate to have their hair washed, before they headed off to the emergency room!"

"That sounds a lot like a Bessie thing to do!"

"Tell me about it! In any case, the end result is that I'll have to take over most of her duties here, for a few weeks at the least, until she's healed up enough to come back to work. Which also means that our trip to New York ..."

"Will have to be put off until later this summer. It's okay, it didn't sound like my parents had the time right now, anyway. We can always go on our little vacation, when things have cooled down here. Now that I have a new job too, it probably wouldn't be the best idea in the world to start asking for extra time off already" Jen remarked, before stacking up the final table on top of another table, meaning that Joey could officially call an end to what had been a very long and tiring workday.

END OF CHAPTER FIFTY-ONE

Chapter Text

"Hit the road, Jack

And don't you come back

No more, no more, no more, no more

Hit the road, Jack

And don't you come back no more!"

RAY CHARLES (Single from 1961)

Jack's life had become about one thing and one thing only, ever since he'd helped his dad with moving the last of their things, that hadn't either been sold or driven off to the junkyard, from Providence to Capeside, marking an end to the many and mostly joyous years, their family had lived there. Going back that one last time however, had been a sobering experience and saying goodbye to the house, where he'd grown up, was an experience that he didn't feel like thinking back to, more than he was forced to. Even if part of him still missed it from time to time, he also knew deep down that if they'd tried to continue living there, then it would have been like Tim's ghost was following him, everywhere he went.

In any case, the end result of his dad not being able to find a new job in Providence or the surrounding area, now was that for the first time in over half a year, their entire family was gathered under one roof again and for Jack, this also meant having many uncomfortable silences with his dad, where none of them knew what to say. He couldn't explain to anyone exactly why there was this huge gap between himself and his dad, only that it had seemingly been there almost since he was born and that it didn't look like it would ever go away. It wasn't like they hated each other either (although Jack had to admit to still feeling some resentment towards his dad, for how he wasn't there for his family after Tim's far too untimely death), there was just something in their relationship that wasn't working and it wasn't just that Jack had a sneaking suspicion that his dad was a bit of a homophobe, from some of the things he'd heard him say in the past.

All of these were things that Jack was trying not to think about, while he was catching some rays with Abby down at park. Why the park and why Abby, you might ask? Because the heatwave, they were having and the hundreds, if not thousands, of tourists that had come to town, meant that beach was so thick with people, that you could barely find a couple of free square feet to spread out your towel on and Abby had her one day a week off, that Joey had practically had to force her to take.

"It feels like I'm wasting my time here, when I could be at work and working towards my goals" Abby remarked, while she was applying another layer of much-needed sunblock onto her arms and legs, seeing as the summer sun was beating down hard and relentlessly on them.

"It sounds like someone has been hit by the greedy bug!" Jack quipped in return. "What are your goals, if you don't mind me asking?"

"To earn enough money there, that I can send myself off to college, when high school comes to an end. Let's face it, there's no other way for me to pay for it, with what little money there was in my college fund having long ago been eaten up by my mom's legal bills and my dad having a new girlfriend that he cares ten times more about, than he does about me!" Abby sighed.

"At least, you have a plan. Most of the time, it feels like I'm just making things up, as I go along" he admitted to her.

"I know how you feel. Honestly, if my mom hadn't practically forced me to, I probably would have still been the same girl, I was a year ago and right now, most likely sitting at home and sulking over how I didn't have any friends, I could hang out with. Trust me, Jack. Sometimes, being forced by circumstances to grow up a little isn't the worst thing in the world".

"I guess not. Does that in your case also include having to pretend that everything is all peachy, when it clearly isn't?"

"I guess, I do that sometimes. Things aren't all rosy and sunshiny at home?"

"When it was just my mom, Andie and myself living together, it sort of worked. Not in way that you could call great by any means, but it wasn't like I ever didn't feel like coming home to them. Now, where my dad is living with us ..."

"You try to stay out, all that you can?" Abby finished his sentence for him. "I know what that's like, as much as anyone does around here, believe me!"

"Because your mom is an alcoholic?" he cautiously asked and got a small nod in return.

"Don't get me wrong, she still had her good days, where it almost felt like I had my old mom back again. On those bad days, though ... let's just say that the way she treated me on those dark and best forgotten days, I wouldn't wish happening to my worst enemy, or anyone for that matter".

"But you still love her, don't you?"

"Of course, I do. She's still my mom, when push comes to shove, and I only want the best for her. It's just sad that right now, the best thing that could have happened to her, is what is happening to her, that she's locked up in a place where she can't get her hands on anything, that could get her drunk. Call me crazy, but I'm still hoping desperately inside that we can rebuild our mother/daughter relationship, after she gets released".

"Even in spite of everything, she did to you?" he had to ask, since he wasn't sure that he would ever be able to entirely forgive his own old man and that what he did can't have been any worse (or even in the same category), than what Abby's mom had put her poor daughter through.

"What it did to me was make me realize that parents, in spite of how we're raised to see them as our all-knowing window to the rest of the world, are just regular people who don't always deal with situations, the way that your own sense of logic tells you that they should. And sometimes, they end up making the wrong decisions, only they can't see that they're wrong. That's where we, as their offspring, have to either try to change them, or learn to live with them, the way they are. In my mom's case, I had to make the tough call that I couldn't live with her anymore, which is why fate has brought me to where I am now, living with Jen and her sweet, old grandmother" Abby explained to him. "The question is, can you live with your dad or not, or is it time that you began looking into "Alternative Living Arrangements" too?"

Was Jack ready to take it that far? Probably not and it would also mean that he wouldn't be there to keep a keen eye on Andie and his mom, not to mention whether either of them was showing any signs of mental deterioration or not. So, for the time being at least, all he could do was try to get through the days as they came, with as little drama in his life as possible and if he was really lucky, maybe find a potential boyfriend for himself. Although, even Jack himself would have called that last part a long shot, at best.

Pacey's summer was so far going splendidly, or at least in his own eyes, it was. While the video store getting bought by new investors and still being closed for renovations had at first put a small dent in his plans, it was surprisingly turning out to be a blessing in disguise for him. Not only did it mean that he was forced to find himself a new job, where he could find the challenges that he'd been lacking sorely at "Screen Time" towards the end of his employment there, it also meant that he wouldn't have to spent most of his summer being bored inside of a video store, while his friends were out enjoying the sunny weather and being young, while they could. The summer from a year before, when he'd just started working there, it had been the one thing that had annoyed him by far the most about the job and by the time he had to go back to school, he'd had more than his fill of hearing stories about all of the interesting things that his schoolmates had been up to, while he'd been stuck inside of a humid room, with Dawson as his only company for most of his waking hours, and making a measly five bucks flat per (very long feeling) hour in doing so.

Of course, he did have to attend summer school, but it was only for a few hours at a time and only three days a week, plus he always had the breaks in between classes to look forward to, where himself and Joey would sneak off to the janitor's closet (the boiler room was sadly locked off for the summer) for a quick and very steamy make out session, that afterwards would see them through those hours of slight boredom that followed, like it was a mere breeze.

In short, this summer had already turned out to be the opposite of last year's and it wasn't only because he now had "contacts" in the restaurant business, who could hire him for what had so far been a rather well-paying job, waiting tables at the Ice House. Not that it was a job that he could picture himself doing for the rest of his life, mind you, but the great thing about having his girlfriend as his immediate superior (until Bessie came back to work, at least) was that he was allowed to more or less only work the shifts, that he wanted to and could use the rest of his time to either take his boat out for a spin on the creek, or play the world's best younger brother to his almost four-month-pregnant older sister Gretchen. Something, she was clearly relishing, for all it was worth! If he wasn't doing a combination of the two, like he was on this day, sometime around noon.

"There you go, Mademoiselle! Your half of the delicious five-star-dinner treat, known as mom's leftover lasagna from yesterday!" he joked smilingly to his sister, before he handed her a plate filled with steaming hot lasagna (heated up on the battery powered hot plate, that he'd bought for this very possible situation), plus a knife and a fork.

"Thanks, Pacey. You didn't have to do all this though, if it was only to cheer me up. You're doing plenty of that already, just by being you" Gretchen sweetly answered him and while he couldn't deny that part of it was for her sake, it was also for his own, since taking care of both her and Joey and making sure that everything was as easy for his two favorite girls as possible, had quickly turned into his number one pastime.

"Don't mention it! Can't a little brother spoil his older sister, just because he feels like it and without having any ulterior motives?"

"I just feel like I need to do something in return, with how adorable and attentive you've been towards me, ever since I came home" Gretchen replied, before taking a bite of her lasagna and letting out a small sigh of satisfaction. "You and mom between you are making it extremely hard for me to want to leave again, I can tell you that much!"

"As if that's a bad thing?" he asked her with a gleam in his eyes. Her smile in return couldn't hide either, how much she was enjoying their pampering of her.

"I never said that it was, did I? Come on, Pacey, there has to be something that I help you with!"

"Like what?"

"I don't know ... I could help you with your girl troubles, perhaps?" Gretchen asked him leadingly.

"What do you mean "Girl Troubles"? I have Joey back here with me now, so how could things be better for me?"

"Then why do you take all of those "Long Bathroom Breaks" during the day, if it isn't because she's not giving you something, you want from her, huh? It can't be thanks to mom's cooking, because in spite of this lasagna being nothing short of excellent, we both know that most of her cooking isn't this great!" Gretchen cheekily asked him and in such a way, that it almost made him choke of the bite of lasagna, he was chewing down on, when she said it.

"You notice stuff like that?" he had to ask, since honestly speaking, he'd been keeping his fingers crossed, that she hadn't!

"You're a teenage boy, who's beginning to hit your sexual peak, Pacey! I'd be far more worried about you, if you weren't jacking it at least once or twice a day!" Gretchen, in a way that was far too carefree for his own liking, when it came to this particular subject, answered him.

"Can you from now on, if you're ever going to use the words "Jacking" or "It" in front of me, make sure that there are a minimum of three words separating them?"

"Would you rather that I called it "Spanking Your Monkey", or "Stroking Your Wookie", like a couple of my ex-boyfriends liked to call it? It's nothing to be ashamed of and believe me, when I tell you that at least nine out of ten of the girls you go to school with, do something similar to themselves!"

"More than ninety percent of them? Really?"

"Almost none of the girls that I was friends with weren't regularly pleasing themselves, by the time they got to be your age now and the few, who weren't, were already getting what they wanted from their boyfriends. Which again leads me to believe that something is missing in yours and Joey's relationship, you're just afraid to tell me what it is. You can trust me not to tell Joey anything, that you don't want her to know, you know that".

"Well ..." Pacey began, as he tried to think of the right way to formulate his thoughts into the correct words. "Can I ask you something very personal, that I'm not entirely sure that I want to hear all of the details about?"

"Whatever it is, I'll try to keep my answer PG, I promise!" Gretchen jokingly reassured him.

"The thing is that Joey and I have almost gone all the way. Only almost, though! Let me stress that part!"

"And how many times has this happened so far?"

"Twice, with a third time, where we got interrupted, that sort of counts for half a time! Anyway, I guess what I'm asking, is that since it's kind of in the air that soon will be the time when we ..."

"Join together in the biblical sense?" Gretchen finished his sentence for him and by doing so, got him out of having to say the word "Sex" out loud in front of her.

"Something like that. It's just such a huge step to take, you know?"

"Yeah, I do. What's your question, then?"

"When you had to ... take that step, were you worried at all?"

"You mean about pregnancy and STD's and stuff like that?"

"Not so much that as the emotional part. I'm worried that it could be too much for both of us, if we take things too far and it's too soon for us".

"I can understand that, easily. Are you sure that Joey is the one?"

"I think so. It's almost funny in a tragic sort of way, because before we became a couple, my mind was all over the place when it came to girls and which ones, I'd have a fling with or a crush on from one week to the next. Then, I kissed her, she kissed me back and ever since, the only girl that I can see myself being with and loving with all of my heart is her".

"Why is that tragic? Most people would give an arm or a leg to experience a romance like that!"

"Because I have no idea what I would do with myself, if she one day woke up and decided with herself, that it was time to move on from me" he answered his sister as truthfully, as he could. "It's one thing to know that I probably won't be able to give her everything, that she deserves out of life, but if I can just give her a first time that she can look back on and smile, when she gets older, then I've given her something worth holding onto, when it comes to me, at least. Do you understand why I'm so worried that I'll mess our first time up now?"

"Have you said these things to her?" Gretchen, after a few seconds of thinking over her answer, asked back.

"Do you think that I should?"

"Pacey, if any guy, who wasn't my close relative, said those same beautiful things to me, that you've just said, I would have had to fight every inner instinct in my body, not to want to kiss him immediately! Look, I know that I'm no Freud or any of the other famous thinkers, when it comes to the study of the human mind and our behavior, but I know both you and Joey, like I know my own back pocket, and as long as you two keep communicating your innermost feelings to each other, you'll be perfectly fine! As for the whole sex thing, all you have to do is be open with Joey and I'm a hundred percent certain that you'll find out, that she has those exact same fears too, that you've been running around with".

Pacey spent the next several minutes wondering to himself, if it really was that simple, as they enjoyed the rest of their lunch together, before it was time to sail back and him to get ready for working the dinner shift at the Ice House.

After having more or less wasted his day away with Abby (although, he wouldn't have called it a complete waste, since he'd gotten to know her much better than he did, when his day began), they'd capped it off by going to the movies to see "Notting Hill", the latest flick in the long line of them, where Julia Roberts plays a lovable single girl, who's desperate to find love and finds it in the most unlikely places, in this case a small English bookshop. A tried-and-true formula at this time and if you substituted Julia Roberts for Meg Ryan, you'd have most of her filmography from the 90's summed up perfectly too!

"I'm just a girl, standing in front of a boy and asking him to love me!" Abby comically overacted out one of the corniest scenes from the movie, that they'd just seen and (to their collective joy) had more than its share of them!

"Is that the lamest line in movie history? I mean, it has to be up there!" Jack laughingly asked her back, as they made their way out of the cinema with the rest of the movie goers and onto the streets of Capeside, that were still bustling with activity compared to only a few weeks earlier, thanks to the huge influx of tourists coming up by the hundreds and the most welcome amounts of money, they'd brought with them.

"I don't know! There's sure to be some real stinkers, if we get into some of the passion projects of years past, where someone said, "I'm paying for this, so no one's allowed to disagree with me" and simply allowed their ego's to run wild!"

"It sounds like you're describing "The Room" to a T! Have you seen it?"

"I don't think that I've heard about it, sorry".

"That's probably because far too few people have! The guy who wrote it and stars in it is the unopposed king, when it comes to writing horrible dialogue, believe me!"

"It sounds like a movie, we'll have to watch together sometime" Abby smilingly answered him, before it had finally become time for them to call an end to their rather fun day of hanging out together. "I'm not doing anything this time next week, if you want to repeat today's success story. It's kind of nice to be around a boy, where I know for sure that he isn't mentally undressing me, you know?"

"I can say the same for you. We'll see, okay? I don't know what my dad could have planned, and he hasn't told me about yet" he answered Abby, although what he had wanted to do was say yes, without there being any reservations over it.

"When you find out, you know where to find me. See you tomorrow, Jackie-Boy!" Abby cheerily bade him goodnight and headed in the direction of Jen's grandmother's house.

He kept up a brisk pace on his walk home, that when you knew the various shortcuts that Pacey had shown him, could be cut down to a little over two miles and he was far off in his own thoughts about whether the Patriots should stick with Drew Bledsoe at QB, or it was time to bring in someone younger to take over his spot, when he saw something that he hadn't expected to see. Andie sitting by herself, down at the end of their street, with her hands covering her face and wearing far too little clothing, for what had become a rather chilly evening, considering that it had apparently been one of the hottest days in Capeside in several years.

"What are you doing, sitting here by yourself?" he asked her quietly and when she looked up at him and he could see that she'd been crying, it was like his heart sank for her.

"Everything was driving me crazy back at the house, Jack! It's like we're not supposed to mention that anything is wrong with mom, or that it's weird having dad living with us again and it's just all driving me crazy!" Andie weepingly replied and like the good twin brother that he was, he pulled her in for a long and comforting hug. The way that she shivered to his embrace told him as well, that she probably needed it.

"I know, Andie" he comforted her. "Tomorrow, we'll think of something fun and carefree to do together, just us two, okay?"

"Okay. I'm sorry that you had to see me like this again" Andie got out, through crying a well of tears into his t-shirt.

"You don't ever have to be sorry for anything, Andie. None of what happened, whether it's with me, dad, mom, Tim or anyone else, could ever be your fault. I love you more than life itself, I hope that you know that".

"I love you too, Jack. Can you walk me home and help me to sneak upstairs, so mom and dad won't know that I've been gone?" Andie barely audibly asked him, as she wiped what was hopefully the last tears of that day, away from her eyes.

"They don't know that you're not at home right now, do they?"

"I snuck out through the basement window, while they were in the living room watching TV. Things will get back to normal soon, right? I mean, they have to at some point, don't they?"

"I hope so too, but first things first. How do you plan on sneaking in, without them noticing you?"

"That part is easy! All I have to do is sneak back in, the way I came out, while you talk to mom and dad and create a distraction for me. Can you do that for me, pretty please with sugar on top?" Andie pleaded with him, as if it had been necessary for her to do so, to get him to help his beloved sister out of a tiny pickle, like this one was.

After all, as Jack saw it, his primary job in life would always be to look out for her and if that meant trying to please his dad, by keeping his mouth shut when it was taking everything in him to, then it would simply be the yoke, he would have to carry.

Pacey had quickly learned how a dinner shift at the Ice House during the summer usually went. He checked in at five o'clock and for the first hour, they would only have a manageable number of customers and it would be like a quiet before the storm, that began almost exactly when six o'clock hit them. For those next three and a half hours, they would serve and have literally hundreds of customers, some coming to dine and others just to enjoy a cool drink or a snack there, before they were on their way to do other things. In any case, they were hours that felt like they flew by in an instant and compared to sitting in the video store and being bored out of his skull most of the time, it felt like a step in the right direction. Financially too, seeing as he'd already made more in tips alone in a week and a half, than he would have at "Screen Time" in a month. When you added his hourly pay on top of that, he could for once say that he wasn't feeling underpaid!

This evening had been no different and in spite of them at one point having had a line, that stretched a few dozen yards down the street, they'd managed to keep all of their customers satisfied, or so it seemed to him, at least. He was in the middle of counting up the day's take, when a very pretty mid to late teen girl with short, blonde hair and carrying a large backpack on her back, came into the restaurant and walked up to the counter, where she dropped her load of luggage onto the floor.

"Is it too late for me to buy a beer?" the girl asked, before sitting down on one of the stools.

"It isn't, if you can show me some ID" he answered her, although it didn't seem like the answer, she was looking for.

"Can't you cut me some slack? I've had a day from hell and now, I don't have a clue where I'm spending the night!" the girl pleaded her case.

"Sorry, I don't make the rules. I can fill up your soda to the rim and still get away with it, but that's the best, I can do for you" he answered, and it seemed to calm her down.

"It's better than nothing, I guess. A medium Sprite and don't think that I won't hold you to your word!"

"I take it then, that you're not from around here?"

"Is it that obvious?"

"The backpack sort of gives you away" he told her, before serving her the beverage of her choice.

"Plus, I pretty much had already told you, hadn't I? That's just so me, a typical scatterbrain! I'm Eve, by the way" the girl, who he now knew as Eve, introduced herself.

"It's nice to meet you, Eve. I'm Pacey and welcome to Capeside, I guess. How long are you here for?"

"I'm not really sure. My plan was to come up here and work for the summer, but I've just found out that on top of the job not existing, I also don't have anywhere to live, so I'll probably have to re-think it. Unless you can tell me where I can find a well-paying job and a place to live, that isn't too expensive for a girl like me?" Eve (sort of flirtingly) asked, before taking a sip from her soda.

"There's a motel on the outskirts of town, that isn't too expensive, from what I've heard. You'll most likely have to share your room with a family of decades old spiders, but it beats sleeping on the streets, right?" he answered Eve, who smiled back at him.

"I can tell already that I've lucked into finding the right guy to help me! That takes care of where to stay, what about a job?" Eve asked and he quickly got an idea.

"Hey, Jen!" he called out to Jen, who as she so often did, had come down to the restaurant to help with closing down, so she could hang out with Joey and/or Abby after work.

"Yes, Pacey?" Jen answered, as she came over to them.

"This is Eve and she's looking for a job. Didn't you say that they were hiring down where you work and that you really wished, you had another girl working there with you to, as you so eloquently put it, even out the stench of testosterone at your workplace?" he asked Jen, who only now noticed Eve and the two girls quickly smiled at one another.

"Hi, Eve. I'm Jen. Let's talk work, shall we?" Jen introduced herself and sat down on the stool next to Eve's, whom she chatted with until it was closing time.

And, as he continued on with this last part of his job for the day, something occurred to Pacey: Some guys want everything out of life and won't settle for less. Pacey was a different breed from them, satisfied just from seeing his friends doing well and knowing, that his life could certainly have been a lot worse, than it was.

END OF CHAPTER FIFTY-TWO

Chapter Text

"Are you ready for a  new sensation?"

INXS (From the album "Kick" (1987))

Jen could, after plenty of ups and downs over the past years, finally say that she had her life close to being in some sort of order. Okay, so it wasn't perfect, by any means, but when she thought back to who she was and what her situation was like ten months before this, when that taxi had dropped her off in front of her grandmother's house and she'd quickly begun to make new friends in Dawson, Pacey and (even if she was more than a bit reluctant to open up with her at first) Joey, it was like you were talking about two completely different girls, compared to who she was now. Part of it simply was having the extra ballast of another year of growing up, of course, but even the biggest Negative Nancy or Debbie Downer couldn't deny that for the most part, the arrow had been pointing solidly up, when it came to the existence of one Jen Lindley on this crazy place called earth and it wasn't just thanks to her new job and "Pseudo-Boyfriend", although they admittedly were playing their parts in it as well.

As she'd come to find out rather quickly, spray painting boats isn't the most exciting job in the world and a big negative to the job was that she felt like she still smelled heavily of the paint solvents, they used, even after she'd taken a long and thorough shower. Not to mention that her older colleagues for the most part tended to treat her and the other two "Youth Temps" like they weren't even there, still all that had done was quickly build up a friendship between her and her two colleagues, as well as making a bit of "Us Against the World" sentiment grow between them.

Ricky, whom she'd liked practically from the moment that she met him, was in many ways like her still relatively new friends from Capeside, in that he was down to earth, easy to talk to and although, she hadn't gotten anywhere romantic with him yet, there was enough flirting going on between them that she figured, she'd have him bagged and tagged before too long. Something she could really use as well, if nothing else to have some sort of successful part of this last year to look back on, when it came to the boys that she'd made out with.

Eve, although Jen didn't know her all that well yet and there being a little over year and a half in age difference between them, was clearly a girl in somewhat of the same vein as herself, seeing as they both thought that everyone cares far too much, what other people think about them and could both agree that the best use for a Backstreet Boys or N-Sync CD was to send it floating to the bottom of a very deep ocean. And, since Ricky would often spend his lunch break checking up on/hanging out with his grandfather, it gave them plenty of time to get to know one another, while the two girls "enjoyed" their brought from home sandwiches.

"Any plans for the weekend?" Eve casually asked her during their lunch break, while they were lying on top of an already repaired boat outside, that was only waiting for its owner to come by and pick it up and in the meantime, made for a perfect escape for them away from the almost incessant work noise and far from always equally pleasant smells inside.

"Not really. Don't tell anyone, but it's actually my birthday this coming Saturday" Jen answered her, after swallowing the bite of ham and cheese sandwich, she was chewing down on.

"Why don't you want anyone to know that it's your B-Day?" Eve asked her, looking a little puzzled.

"Because if my friends found out, I'm sure that they'd want to make a big deal about it and then, they'd want to throw me a party and ..."

"I'm still not hearing any negatives here, Jen!" Eve smilingly pitched in with.

"It would only remind me of how my parents have never made a big deal of my birthday, or any sort of deal at all, while I was growing up with them. I don't want you to think of me a some sort of sob-story girl here, but when it comes to most of the birthdays that I can remember, it was just easier for me not to remind them that they'd forgotten it again, than having to listen to their fake apologies, where they'd vaguely try to hide how they'd once against had their heads so far up their own butts, that their only child's birthday couldn't possibly have mattered any less to them! I'm sorry, if my short rant there brings you down to hear. If it does, then I didn't mean for it to" Jen apologizingly explained to Eve, who looked sympathetic with her and a bit like, she knew what she meant.

"It doesn't. If anything, it just reminds me of home" Eve sadly replied.

"You too, huh?" Jen asked back, a little relieved (and honestly, thrilled too) to find out that she was talking to someone like herself.

"Believe me, Jen! When you're the middle child out of five, getting forgotten by your folks constantly becomes the norm of your day! Do you want to hear something about me, that's sort of sad and pathetic?"

"Sure. I mean, aren't those always the best stories?"

"Okay, so I was eleven years old, when my parents, whom I had always thought were my biological parents too, seeing as they hadn't ever given me a reason not to think so, told me that I was adopted by them, when I was only a few weeks old".

"Why would your parents adopt you, if they already had two other kids?"

"From what they've told me, the doctors didn't think that my mom, or should I say adopted mom, could give birth to more children after the two difficult births that she'd already gone through with my two older brothers, so they adopted me, because they also wanted to raise a girl. Trust me on this though, being the one and only blonde haired one in a family filled with only dark-haired people makes you ask yourself some questions, even from an early age!"

"It's absolutely nothing to be ashamed of, Eve!" Jen reassured her colleague and new friend. "One of my best friends back in New York was adopted and I don't think that it ever bothered her too much".

"Well, it did bother me. A lot, if you want the truth, so I set my mind on finding out who my biological parents were and just as much, to find out if I had any brothers or sisters out there, that I didn't know about. Not so I could take or demand anything from them, just to find out if they were sort of like me, you know?"

"I'd be more than a little curious too, if it were me!"

"I even went to so far as to change my name and take my mom's maiden name Whitman, as my middle name. Which again, I know is kind of crazy, but we can't all deal equally well with finding out that our birth giver cared so little for us, that she could just give us up like it was nothing to her, can we?"

"What did you find out, if anything?"

"A little here and there, like where my mom was from and where she lived at the time, when she had me and stuff like that. She came from right here in Capeside, believe it or not".

"Does she still live here?"

"I tried going to the address that she had listed on my adoption papers, but looked like it had other people living there now. From what little that I know about her, which admittedly isn't all that much, she must have moved away from here shortly after she had me and that's where my trail of her comes to an end, sadly. Ever since I found out about her though, it's almost like I have to meet her and just find out what she's like as a person, before I can go on with my life. It's stupid, I know and the chances of me ever meeting, or even catching a glimpse of her are tiny at best, but it's as if something deep within me won't allow me to give up either. If that isn't sad and pathetic, I don't know what is!" Eve confided in her.

"I don't think that it's either of those things. Not at all".

"You don't?"

"The way you've just described it, I'd say that it's only perfectly natural, that you'd want to meet the one, who put you into this world. You really don't have any more clues about her, that you can go by?"

"All I know is that she came from here, was eighteen years old when she had me and that her maiden name was Whitman, but there aren't any Whitman's currently listed in the Capeside phone book, so as far as I can see, that's a dead end. For all I know, she could have a completely different last name now" Eve sighed, just before their lunch break came to an end, and it was back to work time.

Joey's days had basically been boiled down to two essential things, ever since that evening on Pacey's boat, where they'd come oh, so close to going all the way and it had felt like every fiber in her full-on naked body was screaming for him to take her virginity: Thinking about sex and what was even harder, trying not to think about it, so she could keep her mind on her job and the rest of her life! Which, when you're a soon to be sixteen-year-old girl, with hormones that are running rampant all over what remains of your usual sane approach to life, isn't exactly the easiest project in the world! It had been hard for her before, it wasn't like that, but ever since that evening, it was as if lust and desire were the only emotions, that she'd become capable of truly feeling and if anyone in all of Capeside was feeling them in abundance, it had to have been her.

"Is there a particular reason why you and Pacey both have tonight's dinner service off from work, or is that just a freak coincidence?" Abby slyly asked her, while they were emptying the restaurant's dishwasher together after lunch service, so that those same plates, glasses and assorted cutleries could be used again later on that day.

"You're right, there is a reason: That we both seriously need an evening away from the insanity of this place!" Joey bluntly responded and parts of her weren't lying either. In anything, being without Bessie at work and having now had just a small taste of all of the mountains of duties, that her sister fulfilled nearly every day of the year, had given her a brand-new level of immense respect Bessie, who these days was busier with being a great mom to her baby son, than she'd ever had the time to be it before.

"And it has nothing to do with you two wanting to finish doing, what you've very obviously been leading up to, ever since you came home from France?" Abby leadingly asked, making Joey blush a little.

"It could have a tiny little bit to do with it!" she quietly confessed to Abby, who smiled knowingly to herself.

"Joey, being our age and constantly horny is as natural as needing to breathe and eat! You don't think that I've been missing the heck out of Melissa and in particular, the nothing short of marvelous things that she does with her soft tongue to a select and extremely sensitive part of my body, since she went away on vacation?" Abby slyly asked and like the all too innocent girl that Joey sometimes had to admit to being, it took her a few moments to put and two and two together.

"What do you mean ... oh, that!" Joey blurted out, feeling like a doofus and more than a little like a cartoon character, who's had a lightbulb floating over their head being turned on, which in turn made Abby giggle to herself.

"You can't honestly tell me that you're surprised that we love to do ... that, as you call it, to each other, Joey! Even if you haven't been around to watch our relationship evolve into what it is now, Melissa and I have been a couple for almost half a year now!"

"I try not to picture what you and she have gotten up to together! Not that there's the slightest thing wrong with you and her liking to ... do that particular thing to pleasure one another, don't get me wrong, it's just that I could never picture myself doing anything like that to another girl, no offense!" Joey nervously excused herself, before getting a reassuring smile from Abby in return.

"It's perfect okay with me, if you're still getting used to having a same sex couple in your life, Joey! No one is expecting Rome to be built in a day, least of all me!"

"Thanks for being understanding. It feels that nice, huh?" Joey had to ask, now that her curiosity had been peaked.

"All I can tell you Joey, is that if you haven't tried what it's like, then you're seriously missing out big-time! Especially, if it's with someone, who knows what they're doing down there, if you know what I'm saying? If you ask Pacey and promise to return the favor, my guess is that he won't say no" Abby advised her, only moments before yet another horde of tourists came into the restaurant and forced them to put their game faces on again.

To be perfectly honest, before then Joey didn't any have a real plan for what her and Pacey were going to do on their date night, except for hang out in his room, lie on his bed with him and see wherever their desires decided to take them. Now, she at least knew one thing, she had to ask him about.

"Whitman? I could swear on the graves of my ancestors that I've heard that name before somewhere, I just can't put my finger on it! It's so incredibly annoying!" a frustrated Jen told Abby, who'd just come home after yet another of the seemingly everlasting busy days at the Ice House, and whom she had quickly made plans with, to do as little as possible for what remained of their evening.

"It isn't all that uncommon of a last name. As a matter of fact, now that I think about it, I seem to remember that there was Whitman family living on this street, back when I was a kid. What if they had a daughter, who got herself pregnant and didn't want to be, couldn't that possibly have been Eve's mom?" Abby answered, as she slumped down on Jen's bed and allowed her body some much needed rest, before it was back to action for it the day after.

"It's as sound of a theory as any of them, that I can come up with!" Jen quipped in reply.

"Why do you care, anyway? Isn't Eve just a girl that you'll be working with for this summer and then, you'll probably never see her again?"

"She is, but ... have you ever met someone, where it's like you right from the start had some sort of unspoken link to them?"

"Not that I can remember. Like, how?"

"Like how from the first time I spoke to her, it was almost like we knew one another already! Freaky, huh?"

"It is a little bit freaky, I guess. Is that why you're so set on helping Eve with finding her mom?"

"It could be. Can you keep a secret, that only very few people have heard and I'm not even supposed to know about?" Jen quietly asked Abby, whose interest suddenly sprung to instant action.

"Always!"

"My mom had a child out of wedlock with her high school boyfriend, less than a year before she met my dad, that she gave up for adoption. What's worse is that I don't think, she's ever told him about it".

"How do you know, then?"

"He tried to find her and win her back. The high school boyfriend, not my dad! To make a long story short, I happened to be eavesdropping on them having a big argument and one of the things they argued the most over was ... can you guess it?"

"The child, that they had together?"

"Disco! Give the clever girl her prize!"

"Does the timeline fit together too, when you consider how old Eve is?"

"It could, if my mom gave birth to her right before she left Capeside. She'd only been dating my dad for a few months, when she became pregnant with me, so yeah, a year and a half between us wouldn't be too far off. Then again, I don't even know if my mom had a boy or a girl, so I have to consider the odds of Eve being my long-lost half-sister miniscule, at best".

"I guess that Eve isn't only girl in Capeside right now, who could have a sibling out there somewhere, then! What if it's her, who's your sister, wouldn't that just be the biggest coincidence of all time?"

"There's only one enormous problem with that theory. My mom's maiden name was Ryan and when she married my dad, she changed it to his last name, Lindley. From what I know, we've never had anyone with the surname Whitman in our family tree. It would still be really cool, if I could help Eve out just a tiny bit, wouldn't it?"

"Jen, I think that it's time you faced up to realities: This town has turned you into an All-American sweetheart, through and through and you being this much of of bona fide angel towards a girl, who you had never met before last week, undeniably proves it beyond any doubt!" Abby smilingly remarked, which made them share a small giggle, before "Sixteen Candles" was popped into Jen's VHS player and the two hard-working girls spent the next hour and a half fighting a hard and close to impossible internal battle, not to fall asleep to it.

How do you go about convincing your unsuspecting boyfriend into doing something to you, that you would never in a million years do yourself? This was a question that had been running through Joey's brain, ever since her brief discussion with Abby about the "Joys of Oral Pleasuring", earlier that day. Especially, since she wasn't sure that "Returning the Favor", like Abby had suggested, was something she was feeling entirely ready for, or ever would be ready to try for herself. Not that she thought the idea of it was icky or anything like that, in fact, it turned her like almost nothing else did, when she imagined herself doing it to Pacey, but it was like a sixth sense was telling her that once they got past this hurdle, there was only one left and after that one, they'd already hit the peak of their relationship (in a sexual sense, at least). Afterwards, there was still such a thing as experimenting (something that she figured should be fun to try, when they got that far), still she had a rather irrational fear that once they'd done that one thing, that stood to her as being above everything else, it could make Pacey lose interest in her and start looking elsewhere for his next sexual conquest.

"What's up with you tonight?" Pacey gaspingly asked her roughly midway through their (very cheap) date in his room, probably in part simply to come up for air, after the vast multitude of minutes where they'd been lying on his bed and been tightly locked at the lips!

"Nothing. Why?" she asked him back, most likely not in any kind of a convincing way.

"Joey, it's not that I'm minding how ... affectionate towards me that you're behaving, but you've barely said three words since you got here. It's only my natural and ever-present concern for you rearing its head here, nothing else" he reassured her, although he was completely right in that she was using it as excuse to put off the one thing, that she really wanted to ask him about.

"I just want to make the most of every single moment, that we have alone together. I can't very well go around and start grabbing your butt in front of the customers at the Ice House, no matter how much I might feel like it, now can I?" she cheekily asked her boyfriend, who couldn't help smiling at the idea of it.

"Why not? It would give them a show, that they'd want to come back and see, don't you think?" he jokingly suggested, before the smile on his face soon began to turn into a face full of excitement, when she began unbuttoning the top button on her jeans and only seconds later, was lying next to him wearing nothing except for a pair of thin, white socks and the slim fitting pink t-shirt, that he'd bought her as partly a joke gift for her 14th birthday, long before the idea of them doing anything as erotic and arousing as this together had popped into either of their heads.

"Pacey, say that I ask you to do something for ... or rather to me, would you do it?" she softly asked him, while she led his hand down to the only place, she wanted it to be.

"Like?" he very quietly asked her back, while she savored that one of his hands was caressing her naked backside and two fingers on the other one were sliding in and out of her already more than ready for it holiest of holies.

"It's just that I was talking to Abby, and she told me about this thing that her and Melissa love to do with their tongues to one another ... I mean, of course you shouldn't feel forced to, if you don't want to ..." she began partly speaking, partly moaning, until it became impossible for her to get another word out, thanks to the sheer erotic ecstasy that was coursing through her veins.

"Just try to keep your volume low enough, to where my sister and mom won't hear you, okay?" was all that he sweetly asked of her, before he started kissing her softly down her silky-skinned breasts and stomach. And, as she got comfortable and spread her legs for the intense sexual delight, that was soon to come for this usually awkward feeling girl from the wrong side of the creek, she also had to send a little quiet thanks to Abby, for having given her this glorious idea.

An hour or so later, as she laid in him arms, feeling exhausted and with small shivers of orgasmic pleasure still reeling through her hyper-sensitive body, she could only say (in spite of how much better that she'd become with time, when it came to the art of self-pleasure, since her first awkward and fumbling beginnings) that what she'd just experienced had by far exceeded all of her wildest expectations of how intense and pleasurable that an orgasm could be for a girl. During those most intense moments, where the waves of pleasure spread from her tiny clitoris and all the way through the rest of her shivering with pleasure body out to the tips of her toes and fingers, she'd had to stuff a corner of one of Pacey's pillows into her own mouth, or she would no doubt have let out such incredibly loud moans and screams, that it would have alerted both Pacey's mom and older sister, not to mention the rest of their neighborhood, as to what kind of new and exciting erotic head waves had been made in the lives of Joey Potter and Pacey Witter on that memorable evening.

She hadn't "Returned the Favor" to Pacey, like Abby had suggested that she should do, which he'd assured her was okay with him, but as he drove her home in his mom's car to the far more lonely bed that awaited her there, they freely discussed it as being the logical next step on this, their journey towards doing the one thing, she couldn't tell her sister about and wanted to do with him, more than anything else.

END OF CHAPTER FIFTY-THREE

Chapter Text

"Che confusione, sarà perché ti amo

(What a mess, maybe it's because i love you)

È un'emozione che cresce piano piano

(It´s an emotion that grows slowly)

Stringimi forte e stammi più vicino

(Hold me tight and pull me closer)

Se ci sto bene, sarà perché ti amo

(If I'm okay with it, it's because i love you)

Lo canto al ritmo del dolce tuo respiro

(I sing to the rhythm of your sweet breath)

È primavera, sarà perché ti amo

(It's spring, maybe it's because I love you)

Cade una stella, ma dimmi dove siamo

(A star falls, but tell me where we are)

Che te ne frega, sarà perché ti amo

(Who cares? Maybe it's because I love you?""

RICCHI E POVERI (From the album "E Penso a Te" (1981))

A/N: Just a quick author's note here. Seeing as I used an old Italian song as my inspiration for this chapter, I had to use Google translate to translate the lyrics into English, so if there are any Italian speakers among my fanbase, who laughed their butts off at what could have been a terrible translation, blame Google´s bots, not me!

There were few things in Pacey's life, that could make him feel like he was a "Big Man" and most of the time, what the world was telling him was the complete opposite: That he was born to become one of those nobodies, who stumble through life from one paycheck to the next and with no hope of becoming more than that, bar some miracle happening like him winning the lottery or something akin to it. In time, it had become something that he'd simply become used to and when the other townspeople (adults, in particular) either talked or were obviously looking down on him, it didn't bother him too much, seeing as he had to (in some ways) agree with their assessment of him. He was just Pacey Witter, son of the rather unpopular chief of police, child of divorce and had, worst of all, (ever since around when his teens began) been someone who didn't believe that he had it in him to do more than the average Joe, who deals with life's trials and tribulations in the best ways that he could, although it was rarely in the entirely correct ways.

But then, there was her, Joey Potter. The only one, who truly believed that he could become more than even he thought that he could be and for this, he felt an internal need to spoil her and make her smile, that could perhaps only be countered with how she felt the same way about him. It was almost like an unexplained phenomenon to him, why seeing her looking happy, whenever something nice happened to and for her, made him feel even better inside, than he would have if it had happened to himself. All that he could chuck it down to was that it had to be love of the most unfiltered and pure kind, where there isn't anything that you won't do for one another, thanks to the sheer power of that love.

This morning though, as he was helping Grams with shopping for Jen's surprise birthday dinner that evening, there was a rather simple reason why he was feeling like he was at least an inch taller than usual, and it wasn't just the feelgood factor over how he was helping a sweet, elderly lady with carrying her groceries home, like a good boy scout always should.

"There's something different about you today, Pacey Witter" Grams remarked, while she was looking carefully through the bananas at the supermarket to make sure, that she only got the tastiest ones for what was undoubtedly her granddaughter's favorite dessert, Grams' famous banana split with homemade vanilla ice cream, strawberry infused whipped cream and a chocolate chip/split nut sprinkle.

"Why, Mrs. Ryan, I don't know what you mean!" he quipped in reply to the nothing short of wonderful lady, who'd first taken Jen in and if that wasn't enough, was also going above and beyond in how she'd taken their friend Abby in and showered her with kindness as well.

"I've seen it many times before in young men like yourself. It's called pride and there's no use in hiding it!" Grams smilingly told him, in her often seen and heard dry-witted kind of way.

"Me, proud?" he joked in return. "What would a summer school attending, going nowhere in life kind of guy like me have to be proud over?"

"I'm sure that you'll find out that plenty of people, who became very successful later in life thought those same negative things about themselves, that you do at this time of your life. Either way, you must have been doing some things right, or I doubt it if that Potter girl would be so infatuated with you. Even if prefer to keep my opinions about one element of her family in particular to myself, she clearly has good eye for people, that girl and she always has. Don't think that I'm not very grateful to her either, for how she invited my granddaughter in with open arms and so quickly helped her to feel at home here" Grams told him from the heart, before finally deciding that she'd found a perfect batch of bananas (or close enough to it) and they could move onto finding the next items on their (rather long) shopping list.

"I wouldn't call it welcoming someone in with open arms, as much as giving them a tiny opening that Jen ripped open, just by being her extremely lovable self. Just between us, before the two of them became friends, Dawson and I had a long-running bet going on whether Joey would find another girl to be as close with, as she is with your granddaughter, before high school came to an end and there's no way, I could be happier to have been proven wrong. Joey needs Jen in her life, just as much as Jen needs Joey, don't think that it only goes one way" he explained to Grams, who'd already moved onto the vegetable section of the rather small supermarket, they were shopping in.

"What about yourself and the lovely, albeit somewhat tomboyish, young Miss Josephine Potter? Do you plan on staying together after high school comes to an end?"

"I certainly hope so. I mean, I know that I want us to stay together forever, I just don't know for sure what her plans are yet and how, if it is even possible, that I can be included in them. It's probably no surprise to you, that I'm not exactly what you can call a straight A student".

"And she is?"

"Let's be honest here. Logically, a girl like her, with everything that she has going for her and her whole glorious future ahead of her, shouldn't want to have anything to do with an outcast of a guy like me, who's feeling far too pleased with himself, whenever he gets anything above a C minus in school. She just still does for some reason, that I'm not always entirely sure why is. If what I'm saying here isn't making much sense, you'll have to pardon me, Mrs. Ryan! When a girl gets into your head, like Joey has gotten into mine, it be can hard to find the right words to express exactly how you feel at any given moment!"

"I know exactly how you feel, Mr. Witter. There really isn't a greater feeling on God's great earth, than being in love, is there?" Grams asked him with a kind smile, that he returned with one in kind of his own.

"If there is, then I've never been told about it. Although, I have to admit that for once having a reason to feel proud of myself isn't the worst feeling in the world either!"

"And what reason may that be, pray tell?"

"That's strictly between myself and the almighty one himself!" he quickly replied and while it wasn't a sound that you often heard, hearing Grams laugh heartily at his response gave him no choice than to laugh along with her.

If he had told Grams that the reason why he was so proud of himself, was that he was keeping his stunningly beautiful and incredibly sexy high school girlfriend almost overly satisfied with him between the sheets, she probably wouldn't have found it nearly as funny. Which just again proves, how it isn't everything that goes on, that an elderly and pretty religious lady should hear about! Even when they're as wise and kind-hearted, as Grams was.

Summer vacations represented a strange phenomenon to Jack. Every year, just around the middle of March, he would begin to get school-tired and for the next three months, he would daydream about all of the things that he was planning on doing, once the big day came and his vacation began. Then, once it did, it would only take a week or two, until he began running out of ideas concerning things to do with his time and by the time his vacation was over, he'd long since become tired of having nothing to wake up to every day and would start longing for some structure in his days again. Perhaps, this was why he'd gladly volunteered to keep Jen busy for the afternoon, while her other friends got the birthday dinner (as Abby had said that they had to call it, since Jen had told her expressly in private that she didn't want to have a party, or a big deal made out of it) and he'd already agreed with her a few days before, that she should bring some of her CD's over for a friendly game of "What is This Song Actually About?". Seeing as Andie didn't have much to do either, she more or less invited herself to play along with them.

"Okay, so what's your guess?" Jen asked both himself and his sister, after she'd just subjected them to the bubble-grunge musical stylings (as Jen called it) of the band Veruca Salt and their (to Jack's ears, blissfully short song) song "Seether".

"Ehm ..." was all that came out of his mouth, while he was thinking of something positive to say about a song, that he would no doubt have forgotten all about the existence of, less than a minute after this conversation had come to an end.

"It sounds to me like she's singing about inner rage and not having an outlet for it" Andie, in her best expert analysis, chipped in with.

"What are your thoughts, Jack?" Jen asked him and moments later, he found himself uncomfortably being stared down on by both his twin sister and his ex-girlfriend, almost like if he was back at school, it was Mr. Peterson's class and he'd forgotten to do his homework.

"And don't just say "Ehm", like you've done to practically every other song, we've listened to, Jack. "Ehm" isn't an answer and it never will be!" Andie scolded him.

"I, ehm ..." he began, before quickly catching himself in saying the one word, he shouldn't have said. "I agree with your analysis, Andie. It's clearly about inner rage" he nervously got out, hoping that it would be enough for the two girls to let him off the hook.

"And which particular parts of the lyrics to the song told you that, Jack?" Andie inquisitively asked him and in doing so was asking him the one thing, he hadn't wanted her to!

"Ehm ..." he began again, this time with no clue how he was going to get out of this pickle, he'd put himself in!

"Relax, Jack! We're just messing with you! Anyway, Andie was probably correct, so you got lucky this time!" Jen reassured him, just before Andie jumped to her feet, looking as perky and excited, as she ever had.

"It's my turn now and I know just the song to play for you guys! I'll back in a jiffy!" Andie cheerily told them, before leaving him alone in his room with the girl, he'd only a few weeks before still been dating.

"Was she correct?" he quietly asked Jen, when Andie was out of earshot.

"Beats me! Those lyrics are kind of strange, if you ask me. I have heard some people say though, that it's all one big metaphor for lesbian sex and what she's really singing about is her girlfriend's ... you know what!" a giggling Jen responded, and he couldn't help himself from sharing a chuckle with her.

"Thanks a million for not sharing that info with Andie, or she would have spent at least the next week analyzing that song to the bone, just to see if it was true or not, while I would have been more or less forced to listen in on it!" he told a smiling Jen, who on top of being the day's secret birthday girl, was also clearly completely in the dark, when it came to plans made in her honor for later on in the day.

"You're welcome. How are things holding up here, with your dad back and everything?"

"It's awkward, to say the least. I don't think that my dad's "If we don't talk about it, it won't exist strategy" is working all that well either, when it comes to Andie's or my mom's mental health. Then again, what can I do about it, when it's his house and practically everything that I own, technically belongs to him?" he rhetorically asked Jen, who looked sympathetic with him.

"You don't need to explain it to a girl, who was pretty much forced to watch the marriage of her parents slowly and painfully disintegrate up close, before she caught the lucky break of a lifetime and thankfully, soon found herself in some far saner surroundings to be living her life and growing up in. Being a part of a family just sucks sometimes, but then again, we wouldn't want to be without them either, would we?" Jen sweetly asked him, while they shared an understanding smile.

"Amen to that! I should give you ample warning though, since you brought up the topic of family, that Andie only owns six CD's. Two of them are Partridge Family CD's, that they gave her for free at the store, when we bought her stereo system and which I'm pretty sure, haven't seen the inside of that CD player, since her first day of owning it. One is the worst out of the Spice Girls CD's, the one from after the red-haired girl had left the group and they clearly by then, were only still keeping the machine going to wring the last dollars and cents out of it. Then, she has an honestly dreadful compilation of the "best" songs from the 80's, that doesn't have any of the songs that it would make sense to have on a compilation like that on it, and instead just has a whole bunch of terribly produced filler songs by bands and singers that never came close to going anywhere, singing dreadful songs that absolutely nobody, except for perhaps themselves, remembers anymore and with good reason, too" he dryly explained to Jen, who shivered at the mere mention of those songs and artists.

"And the last one?" she asked him, looking as unhopeful as can be, when it came to his possible answers.

"It's the extended single version of "Macarena", that I'm still pretty sure that my older brother Tim gave her as a hidden and slick way to make my life miserable, back when we were around ten or so! I'll let you pick for yourself, which of those incredibly refined and intellectual musical choices sound least appealing to you!" he joked to Jen, who only had a shaking of the head left over for his sister's, honestly slightly embarrassing and rather appalling CD collection.

So, maybe all Jack was a master at, was keeping Jen well entertained, he thought to himself. Then again, there are surely far worse things in this world, that you can have as your hidden talent.

After having done his part to make sure that Jen got a birthday "Celebration" (seeing as they were strictly forbidden from using the word "Party", all of her friends had secretly begun to come up with other names for it), that hopefully would be to her liking, Pacey found himself having several hours to kill. And, what better way could there possibly be for him to do so, than hang out with his number one sweetheart, who'd (for once) graciously been given most of the afternoon and all of the evening off from work, so that she could help to set up for the "Big Party" (as Joey had, not entirely truthfully, told her sister, brother-in-law and dad that it would be and that her help would be desperately needed with the preparations for it) and more than anything, celebrate the best female friend that she'd ever had in style.

What her family members didn't know of course, was that not only was Grams more than on top of things, when it came to all of the "Hootenanny" preparations, she also had the help part more than covered in the form of Abby and (the very recently returned from holiday) Melissa, both of whom were eager enough for at least two or three, when it came to wanting to do something nice for their friend, who when push comes to shove was one of the main reasons, why those two outsider girls had ever discovered their true, romantic feelings for one another. Something, you could in all likelihood say about himself and Joey too, and made him wonder to himself on occasion, if Jen was simply born with some kind of extra sense, when it came to having a feel for which combinations would make for perfect partners with each other. When it came to everyone, except for herself of course, but that was a different story!

None of this was anything that either Pacey or Joey were thinking about though, while they were using his boat as a nice escape from the swarm of tourists, who had practically occupied their usually quiet town and aside for driving many of the locals out of their minds (except for those, who were making plenty of moolah off them, it goes without saying), were also making private time like this a hard thing to come by for a pair of young lovers, who would have preferred to spend every second of every day together, if they could.

"Pacey, we have to keep this PG! I don't want another kid to nearly get his first glimpse of a pair of teenage boobies, thanks to him catching us going at it like a pair of horned out spider monkeys!" Joey gasped to him, while she was lying on the cot in his steering house, and he was kissing her soft and smooth belly.

"Are spider monkeys generally hornier, than all other kinds of monkeys are?" he jokingly asked her, which did break the romantic mood a little, still in this case that wasn't the worst thing, considering that they could hear people walking around on the pier, less than ten feet from where they were lying. In any case, his question got a cute laugh out of Joey, and he could never get enough of hearing that sweet sound, no matter how many times that he'd heard it.

"Honestly, I sincerely have to doubt it! Monkeys really are "Love the one, you're with" sort of creatures, aren't they?" she grinningly asked him, before she sat up and pulled her t-shirt back in place, putting an end to this most welcome, but far too short, break away from the realities of what summertime was like in the small coastal town, they called home.

"I'm not like that. There's only one girl, that I'm in love with and I don't want to make love with anyone, except for her" he told Joey in the most romantic way, he had it in him to and the smile that he got back, told him that it had probably come off, like he'd intended it.

"Haven't you seen any nature documentaries? What monkeys do can't really be called making love, now can it?"

"I guess not. It's what I want to do to you, though" he said to Joey, who still and in spite of all of the things, they'd already done, got a bit shy (which was quite adorable to him) whenever the subject of carnal activities of the most naked kind was brought up in conversation.

"You mean, when we're a little older, than we are now, right?" she nervously asked him back, making him feel the need to give her a reassuring kiss, that she gladly accepted.

"Look, Joey" he continued. "You should already know that the last thing, I'd ever want to do is to put pressure on you to perhaps do something, you don't feel ready for, if it's just to keep me happy. What we're doing now, exploring a little more every time, finding out what works for us and doesn't work and all of that, it's the most exciting and erotic experience, I'll probably ever get to experience, and no one knows that better, than I do. All I'm saying here is that when you feel ready someday in the future, even if it isn't until a year or two from now, I'm not the kind of guy who would go looking elsewhere, for what he isn't getting at home. I love you far too much, for that to ever happen" he told his wonderful and gorgeous girlfriend, who was looking like she was savoring every word, that came out of his mouth.

"I love you too, Pacey and I will be ready someday, it isn't like that. You won't have to wait two years for it to happen between us either, I'm pretty sure of that much!" she reassured him and gave him a quick kiss, probably just to show how much she appreciated what he'd confided to her.

"That's nice to know. You know, I was talking to Bodie after work yesterday and he happened to mention that Bessie is only a week or two away at the most, from getting the go-ahead to come back to work" he began, while his beloved sweetheart was quickly beginning to fill in the blanks on her own.

"And, you're thinking that it's time we took advantage of this mythical thing that I've read about somewhere, called being young and free, and actually begin to start enjoying this summer, instead of spending eighty to ninety percent of our waking hours either in summer school, or at the Ice House, serving food and drinks to loud-mouth tourists, whom I've already, and I'm sure that you have too, had more than my fill of for this year and the next nineteen thousand, two hundred and forty-six of them, combined?" she sarcastically asked him back and in doing so, was basically voicing his own thoughts out loud.

"Something like that. Do you think that if we, and by that I of course mean you, since I barely know the man beyond having had to ask him a few times, if he knew which order was for which table and saying "Hi" and "Bye" to him at work a handful of days a week, asked your dad nicely, he would give both of us a long weekend off?"

"I'm sure that could be arranged, considering how hard that I've been busting my butt to fill in for Bessie at the restaurant so far this summer. Do you have any ideas for what we could do, that preferably takes us at least twenty miles away from Capeside for a day or two? You know that I usually love living here, but with how it is around here these days, it's making taking a solitary trip to the center of the North Pole sound like heaven on earth right now!"

"I'm right there with you! Have you ever tried sailing from here over to Martha's Vineyard? It isn't all that far from here, plus it's a beautiful little trip, where we could spend some alone time and while we're there, maybe we could find a B&B or something like that, to stay at for the weekend?" he suggested and waited with excitement, while she thought his suggestion over.

"It sounds nice on paper, but won't Martha's Vineyard be just as overflowing with obnoxious and annoying tourists, as it is here?" she asked, bringing up a logical point.

"It probably will be, but you're forgetting one extremely important thing: Up there, we'll be the obnoxious and annoying tourists, who pay to bug all of the locals, until they're at their wit's ends and make them wish, they'd chosen somewhere else to call home, at least for these few months out of the year!" he (somewhat truthfully) quipped at her and from the pleased look on Joey's face, he already knew what her answer would be, before the first word came out of her pretty mouth.

"You had me at "Annoying", Pacey! I'll talk to my dad about it tomorrow and I'm sure that it won't be the slightest problem, once my sister is literally back on her feet again. Anyway, we should think about getting going, or we'll be late for Jen's par ..."

"You almost said "The No-No Word" again!"

"Why can't we just call it, what is it? It's a flipping birthday party, so why do we have to call it anything else than that?" an annoyed Joey scoffed.

"I'm torn between whether to call it A: "An understated box social, that could be bordering on entering into hootenanny territory, although I have to doubt that it will go that far". B: "A gathering of like-minded individuals in Jen's honor, complete with music that she for most part won't like, but plenty of excellently tasting food, that she no doubt will" or my own personal favorite, C: "The all-time biggest collection of teenage misfits in Capeside's history, all joined together under one roof, to celebrate one hell of a girl that it's physically impossible not to like, when you get to know her, and for reasons, that she would prefer if we didn't talk about". What do you think?"

"That all of those self-penned titles of yours need to be severely shortened! Do we have everything that we need?" she asked him, just prior to them kissing one final time, before the rules of the outside world came into effect again and told them, that any overly grand showing of affection in a town like theirs, usually led to rumors of one kind or another beginning to run rampant.

After having spent nearly his entire afternoon and early part of the evening keeping Jen entertained, Jack's "work" for the day was done and all he had to do was get himself, Andie and Jen transported from his parents' house and over to Jen's grandmother's house, where a minor feast was awaiting her. A call to their local taxi service (whose proud motto, as it was written on the side of the cabs, was: We'll get you anywhere and on time, as long as you can pay for it!) later, and they were soon on their way. It wouldn't be many moments after they'd arrived however, before Jen began getting suspicious and it started in earnest, when she noticed an expensive looking Audi that Jack couldn't remember having seen before, parked right behind Jen's grandmother's old Buick in their driveway.

"What's going on, you guys?" Jen asked himself and Andie, right after he'd paid off the taxi driver, who'd driven off instantly.

"Nothing!" Andie tried very innocently arguing her case, although it was a feeble attempt at best.

"Then why is my mom's car suddenly and inexplicably parked outside of my grandmother's house, when I've talked to her a total of zero times over the past ten months?" Jen accusingly asked the twins, who nodded in agreement that telling the truth was the only way to go.

"Grams and Abby have been planning a sweet sixteen party for you for months now. I wasn't supposed to say anything, since they said that you didn't want to have a party ..." he began explaining, while Jen rolled her eyes in the most annoyed way possible at him.

"They're right, I didn't, and do you know why? Because my sixth sense was telling me that this would happen!" Jen exasperatedly got out, as her skin color simultaneously turned redder in its hue.

"She's still your mom, Jen. You'll have to talk to her again eventually, won't you?" Andie tried asking Jen, who was still looking torn over what to do next.

"You two don't know my mom, like I do. I just know that the first thing she'll do is send me some vaguely hidden remark, about how I've put on a few pounds, since I moved here, before she begins reminding me of every little thing, that I did wrong, while I was still living with her. It's simply what she does and there's no use in arguing with her, because she'll still see me as the biggest letdown of her entire life, no matter what I do. In other and much fewer words, I can't win with her, or my dad and that's the reason why I've had enough of trying to gain their respect. Do you understand where I'm coming from now?" Jen emotionally asked them and if Jack had been the kind of guy, who can pull the right response to anything out of his pocket, like it was as natural as breathing (something, that his older brother Tim had been born with a huge knack for), he would have fed her his best line about how someone needs to take the first step, or how forgiveness is the only way to inner peace. Instead, he just stood there feeling like a fool, for having no clue how to respond.

"Look, Grams and Abby did all of this work in getting your friends gathered here to celebrate you, simply because they love you and like us, they want you to enjoy and remember this special day in your life, for all of the right reasons to. If nothing else, can't you at least go in there for their sakes and try to see, if you can't enjoy yourself, even if your mom is here and you don't want to talk to her?" Andie imploringly asked Jen and after a moment or two of Jen debating internally with herself, they got a small nod from her and were soon leading her up towards the door to her grandmother's house.

END OF CHAPTER FIFTY-FOUR

Chapter Text

"It's my party, and I'll cry if I want to."

LESLEY GORE (From the album "I'll Cry, if I Want To" (1963))

Joey's only plan for the evening had been to enjoy herself, shoot the breeze with her friends and use that as her inspiration to not think about sex, for a few hours at least. However, shortly after her and Pacey had arrived at Grams' house, she'd noticed a woman there, whom she hadn't seen before and after being told by Grams, that the woman in fact was Jen's mom, her "Main Objective" had switched from simply having fun, to being the best friend to Jen, that she could be. Not that she minded it all that much, since she'd been wrecking her head with finding a way to help that wonderful girl from New York out, as thanks for everything that Jen had done for her, including helping her with finding her first boyfriend (something, that wouldn't have happened, if Joey had still thought that she had a chance with Dawson), staying with him (beyond the couple of weeks that their relationship logically would have lasted, if it hadn't been for Jen's constant support of and to them) and last, but not least, being there for her whenever she needed a sympathetic ear to listen to her problems, or quite simply being the best damn friend, that an often awkward feeling smalltown girl like herself could have begun to ask for.

"At least, we can't complain about the food, huh?" she casually asked Jen after their divine dinner, filled with all of Jen's favorite dishes and while they were watching the rest of the party mingling along and enjoying the music, which since it wasn't picked out by Jen, also didn't have anyone covering their ears.

"Grams always delivers, when it comes to big days like these" Jen coldly noted, before taking a sip from her cup of the very delicious homemade peach Iced Tea, that her dear old grandmother had prepared plenty of for this evening.

"Then, why do you look like you're attending a funeral for your recently deceased dog and not the slightest like a girl, who should be enjoying one of the most memorable evenings of her teenage life?"

"Isn't it obvious why? There's an alien presence in this house and until, it's gone from here again, I won't be able to relax a lick!" Jen bluntly stated, pointing attention to her mom, who'd more or less been MIA since they'd finished eating and whom Jen hadn't spoken more than ten words to at the most, since she got there.

"She can't be that bad of a mom. I mean, she bought you a new discman to replace your old one, that you've told me yourself is starting to randomly skip between songs and is ripe for retirement" Joey argued her case, although when she'd thought about it for a few moments, she also had to think to herself that any discman, even the most expensive ones, was a rather cheap gift for someone with as much dough in the bank, as Jen's parents had.

"A complete and total lucky guess on her part, I'm sure!" Jen responded with an added eyeroll for effect. "Anyway, it's my parents that we're talking about here, Joey. If there's one thing that I learned very early in life, it's that anytime you accept any sort of gift from them, it comes with some sort of hidden price, that you won't find out what is, until much further down the road. It's their "modus operandi", if you will, to get you to do, what they want you to" Jen explained.

"Don't take this the wrong way, but considering what kind of wild life you were living back home, you don't think that they only did it with you because you're their daughter and they wanted to find a way to keep you out of trouble?" she asked and even if Jen at first looked dismissive of Joey's "theory", after a few seconds of thinking about it, her friend looked like she considered it to be a plausible explanation, after all.

"I guess, there is a very miniscule chance, that you could be right!" Jen unwillingly conceded.

"Plus, she drove all the way here, just to see and talk to you. Look, I know that things between you are complicated, to say the least, but I'd call that someone, who's reaching out to you and is trying to make up for lost time. I can't tell you what to do and if it had been me in your shoes, I don't know how I would have reacted to seeing her again, but one thing that I can tell you all about, is how much not having a mom sucks big-time. Even with how much my life has improved, since those dark days after she left us far too soon, I'd still give everything I have, just for the chance to hug my mom one more time and tell her that I love her. I guess, what I'm trying to say is that we only get one of them and until, you make peace with yours, my guess is that all of that bad stuff and those bad memories will be in the back of your mind, with no way of getting them out of there" Joey explained, in perhaps not the most eloquent way, but in a way that was (relatively) easily understood. In either case, it looked like her little spiel worked on Jen, who was starting to look open to actually talking to her mom, instead of just saying hello to her and ignoring her for the rest of the evening.

"How do I even start that conversation? If I begin with "I'm really sorry that dad caught me high as a kite and naked in your bed with a boy, who I barely knew beyond doing drugs with him from time to time, in the middle of a school day", it'll just bring up every part of us living together that I'm sure she wants to forget, just as much as I do".

"If I were you, I'd try my luck with a simple "How are you doing, mom?" and take it from there. Jen, I know that it won't be easy, but as your friend and perhaps the one around here, who knows you the best, it sounds to me like this is something that you need to get out of your system, before you can move on with a clean slate. If you don't want to do it, that's fine and I won't mention it again, I just thought that it needed to be said" she honestly told Jen, who soon after had left her to find her mom, wherever she might have been in the house, she so long ago had grown up in.

When Jen had first found out that her mom had decided to make an appearance at her birthday party, the prospects of talking to her had seemed around as appealing, as running through the school cafeteria in only her underwear again would have to her (something, she actually once did on a dare in grade seven and got a whole month's worth of detention for, but that's a different story!). After talking to Joey and thinking about it though, she'd come to the conclusion that if nothing else, she could find out why her mom had decided to come and pay her a visit on this, the day of her sixteenth birthday. After first having checked for her outside and not finding her there, she went to the only other room, she could imagine that her mom would be hiding out in, her own room.

"Hi, mom. Why are you up hiding away up here and not downstairs, having fun with the rest of us?" she tried asking her mom, who was sitting on her bed and staring out of her window at Dawson's house on the other side of the street.

"Falling back into bad habits, I guess" her mom answered her with a kind smile to match, before inviting her to sit down next to her.

"You, the biggest socialite that I've ever met?" Jen half-jokingly asked her mom, before taking her up on her invitation.

"I wasn't like that at all, before I met your dad. Back when I was your age, I was more like the wallflower, who watched everything happening to my friends, that I wished would happen to me too. Whether it was when it came to me hitting puberty last or a few years later on, when it came to us finding our first boyfriends, I just always felt like I was a step or two behind them. Not that I condone how you acted out during that last year or two back home in New York, but I was actually a little relieved to see that it hadn't passed on to you too" Jen's mom caringly said and already, they'd had more of a civilized conversation, than they'd had for the past year or two, at the least. "Then again, considering what kind of place, you had to grow up in, it's also hard for me to blame you for it. You're looking like you're doing good here, Jen. Have you packed on a few pounds?".

"I just knew that you had to mention it!" Jen accusingly said, before almost getting up to leave.

"I mean it in the best of ways, honey! You're looking a lot healthier than when I last saw you, and when I watched you talking to your friends, it looked to me at least, like you have a much better and far more wholesome life here, than you would have had back home with us. That was exactly our hope for you, when we sent you to live here, if you weren't already aware of it" her mom explained, which also made Jen cool down again.

"It wasn't because you couldn't stand living with me anymore?" she asked her mom, who looked far more surprised at her daughter's question, than Jen would have imagined, before she asked it.

"How could you even think that? Jen, in spite of everything that happened and how things fell apart for you for a while there, you're still our daughter and we love you more than anything in the world!"

"In that case, why wasn't I ever brought along, when you and dad when away on luxurious vacations or to things, I might have wanted to see or be a part of too, huh? You're saying one thing now, but it goes entirely against how you've acted towards me, practically since I was born!"

"That was your dad's choice, not mine. Look, I know that I haven't given you any reasons to believe a word, that comes out of my mouth, but I want ... and by that I meant to say that my hope was, that today could be the day, where we turn over a new leaf in our mother/daughter relationship. That we could start moving towards becoming as close again, as we were when you were still just a little kid and everything was so easy, when it came to you. As long as I kept you fed and made you feel loved, you were over the moon, remember that?" Jen's mom asked her with a hopeful smile and although, those memories were too long ago for Jen to remember them, the side of her that wanted to make peace with the past saw no need to flaunt that fact in her mother's face.

"A little, I guess. What went wrong, if you don't mind me asking?"

"Jen, you have to remember that I was still very young and I didn't know much about anything yet, when I suddenly found out that I was pregnant with you, and your dad and I had to get married, before I started showing too much. Sure, it was me who said yes, when your dad asked me to marry him, but his family had made it clear to me that if I didn't, then I would be completely on my own with you. In that way, you began to feel like the reason to me, why I was stuck in that loveless marriage and that wasn't in any way fair on you. If I've taken any of my frustrations over my own life out on you, like I truly hoped that I hadn't, then there's no way that I can be sorrier for it. Do you think that there's any way, you can forgive me?" Jen's mom asked her and to Jen herself, this felt like she was at a crossroads.

Perhaps, this was why she (with teary eyes) made the decision to answer her mom with hug, that was received like it was the last hug, her mom would ever experience. It would be a long and tight embrace too, before either of them wanted to let go again.

"Who cares about the past anyway, right? After all, isn't it only the future that lies ahead of us, that really matters?" she sweetly asked her mom, who had to smile to herself at her reply.

"You know, the more I began to think about it, after you'd left, by far the best thing that your dad and I ever could have done for you, was send you to live here. Am I right?"

"Probably, yes. I won't lie to you, it wasn't all that easy to get used to all of a sudden living in the middle of the conservative heartland, but I quickly found some friends, who helped me with it. There's Joey, who's my mirror opposite in some ways and in others, she's like the twin sister that I've never had, or her boyfriend Pacey, who'll always be the first to offer his help to me, even if it doesn't look like I need it. Of course, there's Abby, who helped me to save me from myself, as much as I helped her to save her from herself and who now, when her future used to look bleak and grey, has really begun to flourish over the past half a year and it makes me smile from ear to ear, every time some nice happens for her, because I know what kind of horrible things that she's had to go through to get there. Those are just the tip of the iceberg and they're real friends, like I used to daydream about having, before I met them. If you want the truth, I was starting to think that it would never happen for me" she told her mom, whose smile seemingly became wider, with every word that came out of her mouth.

"Capeside is special that way, isn't it? One day, it can feel like you don't belong here at all and then, you make a new friend and all of a sudden, you can't imagine living anywhere else?"

"I know just what you mean! Are you still in touch with any of your old friends, from when you used to live here?"

"Only a couple of them, I'm afraid. There's my old bestie Carla, who I still talk semi-regularly with, when we see one another at parties and such".

"I remember her. No one else?"

"Not really. Oh! Actually, come to think of it, I just today talked to an old boyfriend of mine, whom I found out now owns a gas station in the next town over, thanks to me having to stop at it, to fill my tank up. He still looked pretty much the same, even if his hairline had receded a bit and he'd grown an actual moustache now, to replace the bad teen one, he used to flaunt around back in school, like it made him the coolest kid in town".

"What's his name? Maybe, I've met him around town".

"Darren Whitman. Man, I was so in love with him, that it feels like it was a lifetime ago already! Unfortunately, life and it's trials and tribulations came between us and instead of trying to pursue happiness with him, I wound up being married to your dad. Which isn't a bad life by any means, still ..."

"He's your one, that got away, isn't he?" Jen interrupted her mother, who nodded slightly in reply, while Jen in her own mind quickly was solving the now very easy puzzle, when it came to who the mother of her co-worker and friend Eve Whitman, possibly could be.

"I guess so, if you want to call it that. What about yourself and those damn boys? Any luck there?"

"So far, it's been more of the kind of disappointment, I got far too used to back home. The first boy that I flirted with here got far too clingy, far too soon, so I had to find a way to dump him in a nice way. It all worked out for the better for him though, when he fell for another girl, who's way more suitable for him and loves him back, so I can't imagine that he's carrying any grudges. After that, I fell head over heels for a friend's boyfriend and spent a good two to three months torturing myself with pining for what I couldn't have, not that it was anywhere close to the first time, I'd tried it. Then, I finally found myself a boyfriend and just when thought that everything was going great with us, he tells me that he's gay, so yep! It's pretty much been the same story as the rest of my hopeless and honestly beginning to become sort of pathetic, romantic history! I did make some really good friends out if it, though, so that's something, I guess" she semi-jokingly confessed to her mom, who looked at the same time sympathetic and pleased for her.

"Sweetheart, you're still only sixteen. Having a few romantic growing pains now and again just sort of comes with the territory, when you're your age" Jen's mom reassured her. "I don't know if it helps you to hear, but it wasn't until my senior year in high school, that I finally found a guy, who was worth holding onto. That it turned out to be plain old Darren, who I'd known since grade school and who'd dated all of my girlfriends, before he gave a thought to asking me out, probably surprised him as much, as it did me. None of our friends thought that we would have lasted more than a week or two either, still we ended up being a couple for well over a year. What I'm trying to say is that you shouldn't think about throwing in the towel on love, especially when you're still as young, as you are".

After a solid twenty minutes of Jen talking to her mother, they rejoined the party, although for her mom, it was only to bid goodbye to Grams and soon after, she'd hit the road and was on her way back to the city that never sleeps.

Joey, after she'd made sure that Jen was okay, like she clearly was, had spent the rest of her best friend's birthday enjoying herself and one thing that she'd told herself, that she would do, was to get to know Andie better, than she already did. Which admittedly wasn't much and she had to admit, that part of it went back to her fears (back when she was living over in France) that Andie was trying to swoop in and take her place, when it came to one Pacey Witter. With Joey being Joey and always having been the sort of girl, who begins feeling guilty over things, that she doesn't have much reason to feel guilty for, this had slowly begun to gnaw on her conscience, especially considering that all of her other friends were constantly telling her about how awesome of a girl, Andie was. After talking to her a little more too, Joey had to more or less agree in their assessment of her, although there obviously were some slightly annoying sides to Andie that she would have to learn to look past, like her always having to be the better knowing in any conversation, or that sort of shrill and whiny voice, that whenever she got excited about anything, began to sound to Joey's ears like the knives on Freddy Krueger's knife glove being slowly dragged across a chalkboard. All in all, though, these were only minor things, and she could easily see, why everyone else was such a fan of this girl, who (again, in Joey's own personal opinion) also badly needed to eat a big handful of greasy fries and a cheeseburger or two!

By the time they creeped close to ten o'clock though, it became obvious that Grams (who'd been up since five in the morning) was starting to long for a bed and to get her house back from the teenagers, who'd been allowed to use it for the evening, so they (after having cleaned up after themselves, it goes without saying) moved the party down to the beach, where several other randomly appearing parties were also taking place. Most of them involving an ample amount of alcohol intake, it almost goes without saying. This also made it pretty easy for a group of teens like them to score enough beer, that all of them could get plenty drunk, but the only ones in their group, who did so were the lesbian couple and the two boys, one of whom was the boy that she was crazy in love with.

As an added bonus too, she hadn't thought about that little three-letter word, that starts with an S and ends with an X, throughout the evening at all. Well, only almost, but it still made for a most welcome, albeit temporary, change for the young Miss Potter!

"So, you're sure that Eve is your half-sister, then?" A rather drunk Abby asked Jen, while they were walking the few miles from the beach back to her grandmother's house, following what Jen herself had to admit had been exactly the sort of birthday party, she would have wanted to have thrown in her honor.

"It all adds up, doesn't it? My mom's ex-boyfriend has the same name as Eve does".

"Isn't the norm that the child takes the mother's surname?" Abby inquired with plenty of slur in her voice, bringing up a point that Jen hadn't thought about.

"There's no way around it anymore. I'll have to ask Grams about what she knows, when I wake up tomorrow" she said, trying to sound determined that she'd have the courage to.

"Good luck. Right now, I just wish that a ride would magically come along, that can take us home, because my sore feet are done for the day!" Abby moaned and although, no ride magically came along to take them home, they still made it there before Abby's feet completely gave out on her.

The next morning, Jen woke up unusually early for her, something that she chucked down to herself having drunk perhaps a bit too much alcohol the evening before and which, she knew from plenty of practice, always led to her waking up early and not being able to fall asleep again. After a good twenty minutes of trying to, she gave up and instead put on some clothes, before heading down to join Grams in the kitchen.

"How was the rest of your birthday party, the part that you surely wouldn't have wanted me to be a witness to?" Grams smilingly asked Jen, before handing her a cup of steaming, hot coffee.

"I didn't do anything that could make you ashamed of me, I promise! Thanks, though, if it wasn't already heavily implied, for throwing me party in spite of my reservations against it. What can I say? You're a ten times better mom to me, than my real one ever was!"

"You're most welcome, dear. How did your talk with her go, by the way? I didn't feel like it would be proper to ask you, when all of your friends could hear it":

"Circa fifteen trillion times better, than I'd ever expected it to! Crazy as it sounds, it turns out that we aren't all that different from one another, after all. She just made some choices, that I never would have and that's the reason why she's found herself in the situation, that she's in. If you want the truth, I feel sorry for her now, more than anything else" Jen confessed, while Grams nodded in agreement with her.

"Your grandfather and I always tried to teach her that there are more important things in life, than how much you own, what sort of places you can visit and all of the other nice things, money can buy you. It makes me ashamed me to say it, but we must have failed her in that regard, or she wouldn't have married someone like your father. Not that he hasn't provided well for her, mind you, but I don't need to tell you that he's a cold man and those never make for good husbands. I knew it from the moment that I met him, and I tried to warn her, she just wouldn't listen to me. Don't feel too bad for her though, we all lie in the bed that we've made for ourselves and if she doesn't like the one that she's in right now, then it isn't too late for her to change her life into something better".

"Grams" Jen began, before taking a sip of coffee for courage. "Did mom ... have another child, before she had me?"

She'd expected Grams to be startled by the question, only she wasn't. If anything, it looked like she'd been expecting it come, for some time by then.

"How long have you known about your half-sister's existence?" Grams calmly asked, after a handful of seconds where neither of them knew what to say.

"A few years, only I didn't know if she'd had a boy or a girl. Was the father of the child a guy named Darren Whitman?"

"She told you, then, I assume?"

"Told me what, exactly?"

"How right before she'd given birth to her daughter, the two of them had eloped to Atlantic City and gotten married in a secret wedding ceremony?" Grams explained and in doing so, was putting yet another piece of what had become a rather large puzzle, together for Jen.

"So, when my mom gave birth to her daughter, her last name would have been the same as his, wouldn't it?"

"It was, if only for a few weeks, before she decided to break up with him and have the marriage annulled. By that time, their child had already been given up for adoption. I often wonder to myself though, what your half-sister is like and if she's had a pleasant life, since I last saw her all of those years ago. She is still a close member of our family, after all. Then again, I don't even know what her name is anymore, so how could I possibly begin to go looking for her?" Grams asked rhetorically, as Jen's belly began filling up with not just tasty coffee, but also a feeling of accomplishment, that she'd only rarely felt inside of it before.

"Her name is Eve, she's very nice, easy to talk to and I work with her five days a week. Would you like to meet her, when we can set it up?" she casually asked her grandmother and for the first time that Jen could remember having seen, the elderly lady was quite simply stumped on what to reply to her and couldn't get a word out, until a faint "yes" came out of her mouth, almost a minute later.

END OF CHAPTER FIFTY-FIVE

Chapter Text

"Ahr der! Jeg siger ahr der!

(Ahr, there. I´m saying, Ahr, there!)

Fordi far her, kan ikke klare mer'!

(Because this guy here, just can't take no more!)

Jeg syn's jeg vader i pladder, jeg er ved at blive skør!

(It's like my life is full of BS and I'm losing my mind!)

Og jeg hader alle de padder, som skader mit humør! Ahr, der!

(And I hate all of those jerkoffs, who ruin my good mood! Ahr, there!)

MC EINAR (From the album "Ahr der!" (1989))

Have you ever had one of those days, where you should have stayed in bed? Jack could count a handful of them in his life, mostly ones where he'd done something to embarrass himself, but few of them had any far-reaching consequences. He wasn't suspecting of it happening again, when it all began during a conversation with Jen over a couple of burgers with fries at the Ice House, to celebrate that her weekend had finally arrived after what Jack could tell had felt like a very long work week to her.

"I've been looking forward to this all day!" Jen sighed, after just having swallowed a large bite of her Tex/Mex style burger (a new invention of Joey's dad's, that had apparently been a huge hit over the summer so far). He could tell that she needed a day or two off as well, just from the small rings under her eyes. "Even if there isn't anything in this world better than Grams' home cooking, a girl like me, who practically raised herself on street food, still needs solid dose of that, which isn't good for her, once in a while!"

"I hear that!" Jack responded, even if you couldn't say that the food being served at his house came close to the delicacies that Jen was being spoiled with on a daily basis.

"So, have you given some thought on whether you're coming with us to Cliff's send-off party?" Jen asked him, referring to what had already been described to him by more than one person, he knew from school as "The Rager of the Century"!

"Are you sure, it'll be okay with him? I mean, it isn't like I know him at all".

"Neither do I, but Chris said that I should invite whoever I wanted to, as long as there was one, and I quote: "Smoking hot chick with a nice rack and a butt that won't quit, who's young, single and ready to mingle" among them. He really can be a charmer, when he wants to, can't he?" Jen sarcastically asked, before shoving a small handful of fries into her mouth.

"It sounds like something, he would say, alright! When did you talk to Chris and who will the lucky, young lady be?" he inquired with a cheeky smile to match.

"A few days ago, while I was at work. His dad had their boat in for some repairs, so he came with him to pick it up. Not that it's any of my business, but it looked a lot like he was back in the doghouse with his parents" Jen noted and it made him bat an eye at her remark.

"Why do you care so much about what happens to Chris?"

"I don't!" Jen replied, very defensively.

"It doesn't sound that way! Am I detecting a crush here, that someone who's sitting next to me, doesn't want anyone else to know about?" he teasingly asked Jen, who looked like she was beginning to have had enough of this line of questioning.

"Get real! I could never have a crush on a near-Neanderthal like Chris, that's totally absurd!" she (all too obviously) denied his "allegations".

"In that case, let me ask you this and I want you to be honest with me. Which "Hot Girl" did invite to come along and why?" he asked Jen, who clearly didn't feel much like answering, even if she did after a few moments of considering the pros and cons of it.

"I invited Eve to come with us, okay?" she quietly answered, although she also didn't want to make eye contact with him.

"And, why?"

"Because she fits all of his criteria, but I know that she'll see right through his "trying to make himself out to be the coolest guy on earth" act, just like I did, when I first met Chris! Are you happy now?"

"And this has nothing at all do with any feelings, you may or may not have, I'm not making any snap judgments here, for a certain football playing jock, who shall remain nameless?"

"Perhaps" she conceded, after finally making eye contact with him again. "Tell me, how's your dating life going? Any better than mine?"

"The same, only I don't even have anyone to have a secret crush on and you have one on at least two guys, that I know of!"

"Actually, it's more like three, although the last one is purely a physical attraction. It's one of the lifeguards, who works down on the beach, if you must know! That hunk could save me, anytime he wanted to!" Jen romantically sighed, with a dreamy and faraway look to her face.

"Is that what you call it New York, huh?" he teasingly asked Jen, who threated to throw her remaining fries in his face as her response. "Have you tried hitting on him?"

"He looks like he's at least twenty-five, plus he's built like a Greek god! I sincerely doubt that a short and slightly stubby, not to mention extremely insecure about herself and her body, junior in high school is at the top of his shopping list!"

"You can't stay single forever and neither should you sell yourself short. I'm sure that there are a ton on nice and good-looking boys out there, that a very easy-going and undoubtedly charming girl like yourself would be entirely compatible with. You just have to make a bit of an effort, when it comes to getting out there and meeting them in the first place. Like you told me that Dawson did, when you broke it off with him and he ended up with Mary-Beth at the end of it".

"As if I have time for that, when I'm busting a certain part of my body for forty hours a week plus, so I won't have to take handouts from Grams or my parents, until I find a new job after I get fired from this one? Which, I don't know if you've noticed, isn't the easiest undertaking in world history, considering that most people in Capeside still look at someone with a New York accent, like they've just landed on a space shuttle from Mars!"

"It can't be impossible to" he tried reassuring his friend and ex-girlfriend.

"So far in my work life, I've completely lucked into the two jobs, that I've had and I have to think that my luck will run out sooner or later. To go back to what I was asking you, what's your verdict on coming to the party? I could really use having you there to scare drunk guys off, if they don't feel like taking no for an answer?" Jen asked him pleadingly and with the look that she gave him, it was impossible for a nice guy like himself to refuse her. If he had to be honest too, then going to at least one big party over the summer had been on his secret wish list for it, so in that regard, he didn't mind playing Jen's back-up for the evening either.

Later that day, as he was getting ready to leave and was just putting the final touches to his look for the evening (casual and dressed for the warm and humid weather, yet stylish in his own way), he was interrupted by his twin sister, who knocked on his door. After letting her into his room, he could see that she was looking upset.

"Jack, I don't know if you should go to that party tonight" she said softly, before sniveling a few times. He could tell too, that she had been crying.

"Why not? Has something happened, that I don't know about?" he asked, filled with a mix of concern and at the same time annoyance, for once again having to forget about doing what he wanted, for the sake of family unity.

"It's mom. She seemed perfectly fine, when I talked to her this morning. Then, when I spoke with her just now, at first, she wasn't making any sense and suddenly, she began rambling on about Tim and us having to go out and look for him. She's losing it, Jack. Maybe, dad doesn't want to see it, but it's the truth. Don't go anywhere tonight, please. I've never asked you for much, but this one time, can you stay here for my sake?" Andie asked of him, with tears beginning to flow from her eyes. Seeing her looking this way, there was no way that he could bring himself to refuse her.

"Of course, I will. You and mom will always come first to me, no matter what" he honestly answered his twin sister, who also received a comforting (and much needed, by the looks of it) long hug for good measure.

Pacey hadn't at first planned on going to the "Rager of the Century", for several reasons. The main one being that having grown up with a drunk for a father, he really didn't like to be around drunk people all that much. As for his own first drinking experience, it had extended to one can of beer with Dawson, that they'd found lying on the ground in front of a supermarket, no doubt to the huge disappointment of the customer, who'd bought a sixpack and come home to find out, that only five of them were left. However, this was also on one of the hottest days of the year, and seeing as the beer inside of the can was roughly the same temperature as it was in the air, it had been halfway to boiling temperature and tasted so incredibly yucky to the both of them, that after taking one sip each (which almost made both of them hurl), they'd poured the rest down a storm drain and tried their best to forget that it had ever happened. The second time had been only a week before this, when they were celebrating Jen's birthday down at the beach and he'd drunk around four or five beers, that this time were cold enough, that they could be called drinkable. While he was still undecided on the taste of it, he did enjoy the buzz that it gave him, although getting totally hammered, to where he had no control over himself and his actions, wasn't something he felt like trying for the foreseeable future, at least.

Another reason was that his days away from summer school were also a break away from the jocks, who made up around half of his classmates during those long hours, they spent wishing that they'd paid better attention the first time around, so they wouldn't have to waste part of their summers by being bored inside of hot and far too humid classrooms. Knowing that every teenage jock in town, who wasn't away at football camp or the like, would be at that party was just another reason, why using his evening off to stay at home and look after his pregnant older sister sounded like a more appealing alternative. But, after finding out the schedule that his mom and sister had planned between them, that they would watch on TV together, it became clear to him that an alternative plan was needed, and fast! He could go down to the Ice House of course, and wait for Joey to get off work, yet ever since he'd begun working there, it was like the entire vibe of the place had changed to him and whenever he stepped through its doors now, his natural reflex had become to begin working right away. It was just then, that Jen happened to call him on the phone and if he had to be honest, it didn't take a whole lot of convincing on her part, to persuade him to come with her.

One thing that he had to give Chris, was that he hadn't been exaggerating, when he'd called it the biggest party in Capeside for many years, something that they otherwise were masters at in their small town. How many times that he'd turned up for something that had been billed as "The Event of the Year" and gone home feeling disappointed afterwards, he couldn't count, but as far as gatherings of drunk teenagers, who were showing tendencies towards divulging in outright hedonism, this was by far the biggest that he'd ever attended.

Jen, who'd asked him to come there with her, was busy hitting on that guy, she knew from work and whose name, Pacey could never remember, and he himself was enjoying a quiet beer, when that Eve girl, who he'd only talked to a few times up until then, came over to him.

"Wanna dance, Pacey? I bet you have some spiffy dance moves, that you can't wait to show off to everyone!" she flirtingly asked him, before they toasted on their beers, and each took a sip.

"I'm not that drunk yet, sorry!" he dismissively answered her. Of course, this was just one part of the truth, with the main reason being that anything he did at this party was sure to reach his girlfriend's ears at some point and that if he was seen dancing with a girl, who was as stunningly pretty as Eve was, it would surely lead to questions on Joey's part being asked, that he didn't feel like having to answer.

"Can we go for a small walk, then? If I go back inside, that Chris guy is just going to start hitting on me again and if I hear one more terrible pick-up line coming from his mouth tonight, I might just have to glue it shut out of sheer principle!" Eve jokingly asked of him, and seeing as he could use a small break away from the crowd and loud music anyway, he decided to take her up on her offer.

"So, how are you liking Capeside so far?" he casually asked her, after they'd gotten far enough away from Cliff's parents' house, that they could enjoy a beer together in relative peace.

"It's pretty much the same as where I come from, only there are around a billion times more tourists here! Have you always lived here?"

"Ever since I was born. I'm not planning on staying here forever though, if I can avoid it. Are you thinking about staying?"

"I would, if there was a good reason for me to. Unfortunately, colleges is one thing that they're severely short on around here, not to mention jobs that I support myself with, while I study. I have actually been thinking about taking a year off from school, now that I've finished high school and to earn myself a nice little piggy bank, so I'll have something to fall back on, should things get tough. Right now, though, it looks like I'll be heading home in a few weeks, when my summer job ends. Anyway, I'm here to have fun tonight, not to worry over what might and might not happen" Eve told him with a small smile, before resting her hand on his leg, suspiciously close to something else, that was hiding underneath his Bermuda shorts.

"Eve, ehm ..." he tried telling her and grabbing her wandering hand, to lead it away from where it was heading.

"It'll just be a one-time thing, Pacey! No one ever has to know about it" she continued, while her hand did likewise, giving him little choice than to create a little distance between himself and this honestly very tempting girl, who was making no secret out of what she wanted to do with him.

"Eve, if I'd been single, I would have been thanking my lucky stars right now, that a girl who looks like you do, could in any way be interested in the likes of me! Usually, that's the kind of scenario that guys like me only read about in Penthouse! I can't do it to Joey though, not that I'd even want to think about cheating on her. She trusts me and if I betray that trust ..." he rambled on, to Eve's slight amusement, it seemed.

"You know, you're kind of cute, when you're rambling like this?" she sweetly told him, before giving him a small and sexy wink of her eyes.

"Thanks, I guess?" was all that he could think of answering, before Eve broke out in a soft giggle.

"Relax, Pacey! Man, you guys around here are just way too easy, aren't you?" she laughingly said and now, where he knew that she'd been kidding, it made him ease up a little too.

"So, you weren't hitting on me just now?" he had to ask, just to be entirely sure.

"I won't claim to be a saint, because with my somewhat shady history, when it comes to boys, I would be an enormous hypocrite, if I did. One rule that I set for myself early on and I've always stuck to though, is to stay away from guys, who are clearly in love with someone else. Especially, when there are plenty of other fish in the sea. I just had to see how far I could take it, before you stopped me".

"It was all a test, then?" he cautiously asked Eve, as they began walking back towards the party house.

"Call it what you want. All I know is that your girlfriend should consider herself a very lucky girl, because it's far from all boys your age, who can say no to a girl like me, when she's practically throwing herself at them!" she cryptically answered, putting an end to this little (and very memorable, in Pacey's eyes) interlude in between watching jocks chugging beer bongs and drunken cheerleaders falling over their own feet, while they were trying to show off the fanciest dance moves, they'd seen on MTV.

Jack's evening, that was supposed to be spent partying until the sun came up, instead turned into one filled with worry, frustration and more than anything else, fear for what his family's future would look like. He'd seen his mother have some severe "episodes" before, it wasn't that and the perhaps overly positive side of himself had thought, that he'd seen the worst, when it came to how a mental illness can affect an otherwise normal person. This evening had been something else though, far worse than anything he'd seen or experienced before and his usually calm and loving mother had turned into someone, he could barely recognize anymore. It had even gotten so bad, that himself and his dad had to keep his mom restrained, while they waited for the ambulance from the psychiatric hospital to arrive. All the while, Andie had looked like was on the verge of having a nervous breakdown, which didn't help in any way with his stress levels, that must have been completely off the charts, during the worst part of those hours.

"Are you doing, okay?" he softly asked Andie, who was lying on her bed with her back turned to him and whom, he could already tell was still nowhere close to it.

"Not really" she answered him, before turning her head to look him in the eyes. From the looks of her, she was a total mess and all things considered, it was only understandable.

"Me neither" he confessed to her, as he sat down on the bed beside her. "I've had it in the back of my mind, that something like this could happen, I just wasn't ready for it, you know?"

"I don't think there is a way to prepare yourself for something like this, if you want the truth" Andie dryly answered him.

"You're probably right. It's almost like we'll be waking up to a new world tomorrow, with dad as our only parent here. I don't know about you, but I can't say that I'm looking forward to it".

"We'll just have to get by the best we can, until mom comes home again, whenever that'll be. Do you think that she'll ever become the same again, as she was before Tim died?" Andie sadly asked him and like the close to perfect twin brother, that he was, Jack allowed her to rest her head in his lap, while he gently stroked her hair.

"I have to keep up hope, that she will, or I'd lose what's left of my mind completely" he cautiously answered, not wanting to be the reason why Andie cried yet another river over everything, that had been so unfairly taken from her over the past two years.

"I know what you mean. Jack, I think that we need to talk to dad about me seeing a psychiatrist again. Not that it has to be a permanent solution, I just feel like I need it right now".

"We'll talk to dad about it, first thing in the morning. You won't have to go through any of this alone, Andie. You have my word" he told the lovable, yet all-too fragile girl, who was soaking him in for all that he was worth and needed him more now, than she'd perhaps done.

He wasn't lying either, and until he was sure that the girl, whom he saw as "His Other Half" was in a safe space emotionally, where she could get by more or less without him, everything else would have to be put on hold. Even going to parties, no matter how big they are.

After an evening mostly spent wondering to himself, why he'd decided to turn up for an event, that he already knew going in probably wouldn't be his kind of thing, Pacey had left it before there was a good chance that the cops (as in his brother and dad) would be turning up to shut the festivities down and sending every underage drinker there (which was likely to be all of them) running for the hills and home to their parents.

When he reached his mom's house, it was mostly dark inside, save for a faint light that was on in the living room. Coming in there, he saw his sister lying on the couch and watching a re-run of an episode of "My So-Called Life" on his mother's old TV, with the remote control that only worked, if you clicked it within roughly a foot's distance of the TV's sensor.

"How was the party?" Gretchen lazily asked him, only just lifting her head enough from her pillow, that they could make eye-contact.

"What I'd expected, more or less. It really is incredible how much people's IQ's drop, after they've doused their brains in plenty of alcohol, isn't it?" he theoretically asked his sister, who had to smile to herself at his remark.

"If you think that what you've seen so far in your life is bad, little brother, just wait until you get to be my age! Did you have Joey there with you, to keep your spirits up, at least?"

"Nah, she had to work tonight. I could have used her there though, to chase off this admittedly very hot blonde girl, who tried to hit on me" he confessed to his sister.

"You said no to her, right?"

"Of course, I did! Joey isn't just a girl to me, she's one of a kind. If she dumped me, where would I find another one like her, is what I'm asking myself?"

"Pacey, if tell you something, do you promise not to take it the wrong way?" Gretchen asked, before muting the TV, so they could talk with no background noise as distraction.

"I can only promise to try, but you know me. With everything that I've had to hear said about myself by either dad or Doug, I sincerely doubt that anything you could say, could make me upset".

"Let me start off by saying, that I've always liked Joey and that right now, she's exactly the sort of girl, you need in your life to support you and for you, to have to love and cherish. All of that is purely good stuff, but she hasn't even turned sixteen yet. She's still finding out who she is and just as importantly, finding out who she's going to be, when she becomes older" Gretchen began, giving him a quick feel for where she was going with this. "What I'm trying to say is that until she has found out those things, you betting your entire future on her is far too premature and I think that deep down, you know it too, or you wouldn't be sweating bullets over what could happen, if she decides to move on from you".

Part of him wanted to fire a quick comeback off, that would put the issue to rest, the only problem was that he couldn't come up with one.

"Since when did you become so smart on these things, "Miss Didn't Have Any Relationship, That Made it Past the Six Week Mark", back when she was a high schooler?" was the closest thing to a retort, that he could come up with.

"Since the boy, who I loved as much, as you love Joey, broke my heart and left me on my own to deal with being pregnant with his child" Gretchen told him honestly and as if he wasn't already filled with sympathy for her on a daily basis, hearing it said this way almost sent his levels off the charts.

"It's far from all of us guys, who are like your ex-boyfriend, Gretchen. Most of us wouldn't dream of doing something like that, you are hopefully aware?"

"I know that you wouldn't and of course, Doug couldn't do it, since it would involve him actually talking up a girl, for once in his life! As for most of the rest of your gender, the jury's still out, as I see it. Look, I'm not saying that you should break up with Joey, not at all, just that you might want to slow down a little, when it comes to making big plans for the both of you, that lie too far into a future, that'll still be up in the balance for you guys, for a long time to come. If you're still in love and have sat down to make a sensible and well thought out decision on your future together, by the time that you're seniors and close to graduating, that's something else entirely, but doing it now, when you still have two whole years of high school left ..."

"I get what you're saying. Where does the line go, though? It isn't like there's a manual out there for guys in my situation!"

"Say that there's a concert, a month from now and you want to ask Joey to come with you, because you think that she'll enjoy it, that's perfectly fine. Making plans for next year's summer vacation for you guys though, that's overstepping a line into planning too far ahead. Anyway, what's wrong with just being in love and enjoying every moment that you have together, for what it is?"

"And, what's that?"

"Some of the best times, you'll ever get to experience in your life, Pacey. Just don't live too much in the moment, unless you want yourself and Joey to end up in something akin to same situation that I'm in, alright?" Gretchen asked of him and after a short smile shared between them, they didn't discuss his and Joey's relationship anymore that evening.

Instead, Pacey simply sat there in silence and thought about her, while he watched Clare Danes and Jared Leto dealing with their own pains of growing up, on that old TV that anyone with enough funds to, would have retired a long time ago.

END OF CHAPTER FIFTY-SIX

Chapter Text

"It's a family affair".

SLY AND THE FAMILY STONE (Single from 1971)

How do you tell someone that they're your long-lost sister and that you're the one, she's spent years trying to find? As Jen was finding out, this wasn't the easiest job in the world and she figured that the most important part of telling Eve the truth, came in getting the timing right. How to go about it though, was the big question, and seeing as her own brain kept drawing a blank, her conclusion became that since this was such an unusual situation, it also required her to go to a source for help, who she'd never really talked to before. Joey's dad, Mike.

Why him, you may ask? The way Jen figured it, if anyone knew about keeping secrets and how hard it can be to tell the truth to someone, it had to be the man, who aside from having kept the students at Capeside High well supplied in fine Ganja for a handful of months, had also led a secret double life with his mistress, while his wife was at home dying of cancer. Not that knowing any this made Jen want to talk to him, but according to Joey he was a changed man, now that he'd paid his debt to society, so she figured that it couldn't be the worst idea, she'd ever had.

When she found him, he was busy setting tables up on the patio of the Ice House, for what was sure to be a very busy day ahead of them, seeing as not only was it tourist season, but also a Saturday and with many of their usual patrons also returning from their own vacations, this meant lots of nice dinero coming in for Capeside's best family run restaurant.

"Hi, Mike. Need some help?" she tried casually asking Mike, who smiled in his friendliest way back at her.

"Nah, this was the last of them, but you're very sweet to offer your help, considering that you don't even work here. Although, with all of the free help you've been so kind offer, it almost feels like you deserve a small paycheck. Only almost, though!" Mike joked and it helped put Jen at ease that he was clearly in a jovial sort of mood this morning.

"If you haven't noticed, I usually have the ulterior motive of wanting to hang out with your daughter, whenever I've done so" Jen truthfully answered Joey's dad, who chuckled to himself at her candid response.

"If you're here to see Joey, I'll have to disappoint you. She won't be in for another hour, at least" Mike replied, while Jen gathered enough courage to ask him what she needed to.

"Actually, I came here to pick your mind on something" she told Mike, who looked confused for a moment.

"I can't say that I'm an expert on anything, unless you're looking to find out how to put the best clam chowder together, perhaps?"

"Look, you don't have to answer me, if you don't want to. It's just that I have to tell this girl something, that's pretty big and I'm not really sure how to. Basically, I'm her long-lost sister, who she's been searching for since she was eleven years old" she confessed to Mike, who looked circa as surprised as Grams had been, when she'd told her.

"Wow! I can see why something like that would be hard to get out, but don't you think that she'll just be happy beyond belief, when you tell her? I'm guessing that Joey would have been, if she all of a sudden had a long-lost close relative turn up at our door. Not that it's likely to ever happen".

"How did you tell your daughters about your infidelity? Again, you don't have to answer, if you don't want to and I know that it's none of my business, what happened long before I became friends with Joey ..." Jen rambled and began to wish that she'd come up with a different way of asking what had to be the last question, anyone would want to answer.

"It isn't really the same thing, is it?" Mike calmly asked back, making her at least glad, that he didn't take her question the wrong way.

"It was still a big secret, that you had to confess to them. It can't have been easy to".

"I hate to tell you, but the only way to go about it is to gather your courage, hope for the best and get it out there. In your case though, I'm sure that it can only end with huge smiles and big hugs" Mike reassured her, before he had to continue with his prep work for the day, or they would have been hopelessly behind by the time that the first customers arrived.

As Jen walked the short distance from the restaurant back to her grandmother's house, she also began to form a plan in her head and a rather simple one at that. She would call up her unknowing half-sister at the cheap motel, she was staying at and ask her, if she wanted to come with her to the beach. Knowing that Eve considered herself somewhat of an expert, when it came to hitting on hot teenage boys, she could also use the excuse of not getting anywhere with Ricky beyond the flirting stage (something, it was sadly becoming clearer by the day, would likely be the only outcome of her "Great Summer Fling of 1999"), to ask for some hints in the flirting department that would probably end up sealing the deal.

Anything that happened after that would just have to be winged, more or less.

"Joey, we have something important that we need to discuss with you".

Those words from Bessie were the first that Joey had heard that Saturday morning, after she'd woken up and walked into their kitchen, still wearing her jammies and wiping the sleep from her eyes. It was only Bessie and Bodie, who were in there, since her dad was opening the restaurant that day (a chore, he usually shared with Bodie) and the teething Alexander was getting his beauty sleep, after having kept the rest of them up for half of the night with his crying fits. For this reason, too, Joey wasn't entirely herself yet and not entirely sure that her tired head could contain too much information at that particular moment.

"Can't it wait until after I've had a cup of coffee and my morning shower?" she drowsily replied to them, as she poured herself a cup of that brown stuff, that would hopefully help her to fully wake up, before work started, and she had to get her head in the game. After pouring a teaspoon of sugar into it, she sat down at the kitchen table and took a sip. To be perfectly honest, she only drank coffee for the slight morning caffeine buzz, and it quickly began to make her spring to life again.

"We've, ehm ... maybe, you should explain it to her, Bessie" Bodie began, before looking pleadingly towards the love of his life, who was sitting next to him.

"Joey, I don't know exactly how to say this ..." Bessie continued on for her fiancée, although she too seemed like it was hard for her to say, whatever it was that she had to.

"Did something bad happen?" Joey worriedly asked them, seeing as this wasn't usual behavior for her older sister, who usually never had any trouble telling someone the unbridled truth to their face.

"No, it's nothing like that, Joey!" Bodie reassured her. "If anything, it's the complete opposite".

"As long as you two stop speaking in riddles this instant, I'm sure that I can take it!" Joey sharply and sarcastically answered them, before taking yet another sip from her cup of the drink, that almost shared her own nickname.

"A few days ago, while the rest of you were at work, a lawyer came to our house, saying that he represents the Von Wenning family. They want to buy the restaurant from us and they've made us a very generous offer ..." Bessie started explaining, although it wouldn't be many moments, before the blood started rushing to Joey's head and made her wake up in an instant.

"You can't actually be thinking about taking it, can you? The restaurant was mom's pride and joy and our parents built it up from nothing, we can't just sell it!" Joey protested, as clearly and loudly as she could.

"Dad thinks that we should take the offer too. We've been talking and ..." Bessie tried continuing, even if it was no use with the foul mood, she'd just put her younger sister in.

"I don't even want to hear it, Bessie! I'm as much a part of this family as you are, and I'm saying that it'll only happen over my dead body!" Joey continued to protest, before doing something that even she had to admit a few moments later, had been pretty dumb. She'd run out of the house, still wearing only her morning slippers and her PJ's and with no plan, where she could head off to, to cool down.

One problem with living so far away from her friends (most of whom lived in either the center or the Eastern part of town, while her family's house was almost as far to the West as you could go, while still being within the town limits) was that if she wanted to visit one of them, her only mode of transportation was her row boat, that was safely chain locked to the tiny dock, they had practically at their doorstep. With the key to that chain lock still being inside of the house though, that made the boat a "No-Go" and it severely limited how far she travel off to, also given that she was dressed in a way that was sure to make everyone she met, stare at her like she was an alien from a previously undiscovered solar system. To her luck, or lack of it, depending on your perspective, it wouldn't be long until she ran into someone, that being Pacey's older brother Doug in his police cruiser, who spotted her and pulled up to the side of the road next to her.

"Isn't it a little early in the morning to be going to a costume party, Joey?" Doug jokingly asked her, after she'd stopped her pointless walking to talk to him.

"How do you know that I haven't just come home from one?" she smart-assed asked him back, making him shake his head slightly at her reply.

"It's easy to see why you and my wise-ass little brother make for such a perfect couple! I'm not just asking you as a cop, I'm asking because you're practically a part of our family already and when I see a fifteen-year-old girl who's dressed like you are, walking the streets at this hour of the morning, it's my job to ask her some questions. I can at least give you a ride, if you'll tell me where you're off to?" Doug slyly offered and considering her lack of other options, that wouldn't involve her walking through town while being laughed at by every tourist, she ran into, it was simply far too enticing of a proposition to resist.

"Can you drive me over to your mom's house, so I can see if Pacey is home? Which, considering my current attire, I'm well aware is like asking me if you'll drive me to a booty call with your brother, I just don't know where else to go right now!" she exasperatedly told Doug, who opened the passenger seat door for her in reply.

"On one condition: That you tell the both of us what's going on, so we can help you, Joey. That's all either of us want to do here, you have my word" Doug solemnly told her, laying down a law that she could live with. For the time being, anyway.

After she'd told the truth to Pacey and Doug, she borrowed some clothes from their sister Gretchen, just so that she wouldn't stick out like a sore thumb, everywhere she went. They were both understanding, as she'd expected them to be, still it felt to her like this was something that they couldn't help her with, and she would have to deal with on her own. A scary prospect, to say the least.

As Jen had expected it hadn't taken much persuasion to convince Eve to come to the beach with her and after the two girls had met up down by "Abby's Boat Shack" (as Jen liked to call it), they'd made their way down to the already busy, but thankfully not completely overflowing with people either, beach. As for hunks however, there was no shortage of them, wearing just enough to leave a little to their hormone driven imaginations.

"Man, I wish that I could stay here forever!" Eve sighed, as she checked out a particularly well-built college aged guy, who must have been doing his "Buns of Steel" exercises every day for years, from the looks of it.

"I'm sorry to tell you, but Capeside outside of the tourist season and Capeside during the tourist season are two very different things. Once the sun goes away and the cloudy skies come back, it's like most other small towns, where very little happens from day to day" Jen explained to Eve, who nodded understandingly, as she spoke.

"That's what I figured. Do you like living here?"

"You can call me crazy, but I've actually started to like it being that way. It's the complete opposite of my life in New York, where I was always busy with a million different things going on at the same time. Sure, there were nice things that happened to and for me, I just never took the time to savor it, before I had to move onto the next thing, you know?"

"I guess so. I don't really like it all that much, where I live, if you want the truth. Trust me, being a party-loving girl like me in the middle of a bible-belt town, where they look down on you for anything, that makes you stand out from the norm, is like constantly trying to fit a square peg into a round hole! If I'd only had one friend, like I have in you, perhaps it wouldn't be so bad, but all of the girls there are the same: Judgmental little bitches, who sit on their high horses and look down on everyone, who isn't a hundred percent perfect like they are" Eve sullenly explained and in doing so, was drawing even more comparisons between their lives.

"In that case, you don't want to meet a girl that I go to school with, named Heather Johns! As far as being judgmental and looking down on everyone else, she has to be the uncrowned queen! Urgh, just saying her name out loud makes me want to barf my lunch up!"

"I'll take your word for it, without any guts needing to be spewed out! Say what you will about this place though, I still say that as long as it has a cool girl like you in it, it's still a huge step above what I come from. She told her new friend in a total hetero way, if it wasn't clear already, that she only did that only did that other thing once and in her own defense, it was with a very butch looking girl, who'd mistaken her having short hair for meaning something that it didn't!" Eve smilingly joked, drawing a small smile from herself as well.

"So basically, if you had a reason to stay, you would? Is that what I'm hearing?" Jen had to ask, if only to be entirely sure.

"With me having no savings to draw on, I'll have to spend the next year earning enough to pay for my college tuition anyway, so why shouldn't it be here? It's stunningly beautiful almost everywhere you go, the people here seem a lot nicer, than they do at home and the boys here! Mmm, Mmm! Back home, I don't have anywhere close to the sort of selection, you girls have here! Oh, well, that's just life, I guess" Eve sadly sighed and not even having hot guys in speedo's all around her, could get her thoughts back to a sunny place.

"What if I told you that I happen to know for sure, that you have family living here?" she asked Eve, who looked curiously back at her.

"How can you know that?" Eve asked back, as anyone logically would in this situation.

"Because your biological mom is also my mom" she nervously told Eve, who (for the first time, in the time that Jen had known her) was completely lost for words.

The wide smile on Eve's face told Jen however, that it wasn't anywhere close to the worst news, she'd ever been given.

Unfortunately for Joey, she still had to go to work that day and it had been a tense affair, where she would actually for once be pleased that she didn't have the time to think about much else than what she was doing. Having Pacey there for moral support no doubt helped, even if they didn't have the time to speak more than fifty words at the most to one another throughout the workday, with how busy it was. As little as she wanted to face it though, this wasn't something that would go away undebated, no matter how much she wanted it to.

"Joey, can we talk for a few minutes?" her dad asked of her, after they'd let out the final guests and all that was left was cleaning up, before they could close down for the day.

"As long as it isn't about you know what" she coldly replied to him.

"It is, but I just want to explain something to you, that's all. It's about your mother, among other things" her dad pleaded his case and if nothing else just to keep him happy, she followed him back to their storage room, where they could speak in private.

"You can say what you want to, I won't change my mind about selling the restaurant!" she sharply said, making it clear, or so she thought.

"Did you know that your mother was busy making plans for our future, even after she'd found out that she likely wasn't going to make it?" her dad asked and in doing so, was bringing up something that Joey hadn't thought about in years.

"Sort of. I remember that she had all of these big sketches and stuff, that she was always working on, when I came home from school. She never told me what it was about, though".

"She told me. In great detail, in fact. Her plan was to sell the restaurant and use most of the money from it to buy a new and bigger house for our family, while the rest would go into converting our present house into a bed and breakfast, that we would all run together. Of course, circumstances sadly got in the way of all of that, but this could be our only chance to live that dream out for her. It would be better for Bessie too; I think that you know that deep down. Working as hard as she has for these past years comes with a hard prize to pay for your physical health and your psyche, and it isn't something that you can continue doing year after year. If she continues on like this, it will take several years off her life, there's no doubt about it" Joey's dad calmly explained to her and while before, she'd been stubborn on her opinion not to sell, now that stubbornness was starting to evaporate, as she thought back to the many times where Bessie had looked like she was a fraction of a second away from passing out, simply from being completely overworked in every conceivable way, shape and form.

"It's just hard for me to wrap my head around, that this restaurant doesn't mean more to the rest of you guys. It's been our life blood, the thing that united us and kept us from falling into poverty. Our lives wouldn't be the same without it, is what I'm trying to say, I guess" Joey explained it to her dad, the best she could.

"It'll be tough for me, Bessie and Bodie to say goodbye to it too, but with the bed and breakfast, we can still keep the spirit of this place alive, plus it won't be anywhere close to the sort of workload, this place gives us. For yourself too, this is a chance to experience what being a normal girl your age is like and without having to come to work five or six days a week, just think of all the other things that you can do with that spare time. You could take extra-curriculars at school, to help your chances of getting into a great college or heck, even start a band, if you wanted to! We all remember how much you used to love to sing" her dad suggested and the more he spoke, the nicer the prospect of it all began to seem to her.

"The sky is the limit, huh?" she cheekily asked her dad back, before getting a kind smile in return.

"Joey, your mother loved you more than life itself, I hope that you'll never doubt that. I miss her every day too and I know that what she wanted for you, wasn't to see you throwing your youth away, by spending entire summers working in here, when you should be out living your life and creating memories that you'll look back on and smile later in life. We only get to be your age once and honestly, you deserve so much better than that, if only for how much you've sacrificed for us already. I can't make up your mind for you and if you don't want us to sell, then it goes without saying that we won't, I only wanted you to know everything that you needed to, so you can make the right decision for yourself".

After a few nights to sleep on it and after having carefully weighed the pros and cons in her head, Joey gave Bessie the go ahead to start the sale process. It would be a different kind of existence for her of course, with the Ice House no longer being any of her responsibility, still it wasn't one that scared her. Not as long as she knew that her mother was looking down on them from heaven, happy that her vision for their future was finally coming true.

END OF CHAPTER FIFTY-SEVEN

Chapter Text

"Let's talk about sex, baby.

Let's talk about you and me.

Let's talk about all the good things,

And the bad things that may be

SALT-N-PEPA (From the album "Blacks' Magic (1990))

Pacey had been looking forward to this day for months. The day where his boat would go on it's true maiden voyage. He could have taken it on it before of course, but ever since he'd gotten it as his birthday present all of those months earlier, he'd made the decision that if he didn't have the perfect passenger, also known as his girlfriend, to share it with, he could put it off until the timing and not the least, the weather, was perfectly right. Now, with everything on the home front being more or less in order, the time had come, and, in all honesty, this felt like a big step towards adulthood for him, seeing as himself and Joey would be entirely on their own for several days with none of the adults in their life around, to tell them what they could and couldn't do. To add to the joy of it all, they'd both been given an entire week off from work, now that Bessie was close to being back to her old self and could at least be in charge of the dinner shift, where the pressure was at its usual peak, and they had something else to celebrate, with summer school being over and done with (for this time) too.

"Did you make sure to bring protection, in case things get a little too hot and heavy between you and Joey?" Gretchen slyly asked him, while they were deciding how much clothing that he needed to pack for the next week or so.

"Yeah, we have life jackets on the boat" he jokingly answered her, although he knew exactly what she'd been talking about.

"I meant condoms! I've always loved Joey, and, in many ways, she was a little sister to me while we were growing up, but I'm not ready to become an aunt yet, any more than the two of you are ready to become parents. Take it from me, it's a million times better to be safe than sorry afterwards!" Gretchen lectured him, not that it was the first time where she'd done so on the subject of having safe sex that summer, something that was probably highly attributable to her own situation.

"We've already decided that we're going to wait, until we're ready for it. I'm in no hurry and neither is Joey" he tried to reason with his older sister, who just shook her head at his comment.

"Do you know who said that almost exact same thing, on the exact same day that she lost her virginity?" she asked him.

"You?" he answered her, since it was the only answer that immediately popped into his mind.

"Bingo! Pacey, when you're your age, it can be hard to control those hormones, that are raging through your system and with how long you've been leading up to it already ..."

"I'm not in the mood for a heart to heart about my hormones with my sister! Not in this lifetime or any of the other ones, that might come after it!"

"Let me ask you this, then: What do you think it'll do to Joey's reputation at school, if she has to walk around there being known as the pregnant girl, who couldn't keep her legs clinched together and was dumb enough to get herself knocked up? That's all that she'll become in the eyes of her peers and what about her glowing future, that you've told me about a thousand times already? College is hard enough without having to be a mom on the side and that's if, she can even afford to go. Babies are also expensive as hell; in case you weren't aware. They need diapers, new clothes every half a year, because they grow so fast ..."

"The message has been received, loud and clear! If I buy a pack of rubber Johnnies for the trip, will that put your mind at ease?" he asked Gretchen, who looked pleased that she was getting through to him, at least.

"Make sure that they're the right size too. You can brag about the size of your junk in the locker room, all you want, but this is one time where you have to be ruthlessly honest, when it comes to evaluating your own ... package" Gretchen finished lecturing him, after having had to spend a few seconds to think of the right, and not too graphic way, to describe her little brother's nether regions.

Unbeknownst to Pacey, Joey was having a not too different kind of conversation with Jen, who was walking with her down to the docks, where she would be meeting up with him.

"Don't you think that it would be too suggestive, if I suddenly pulled a pack of condoms out of pocket? she tentatively asked Jen, who luckily for her, wasn't nearly as shy as she was, when it came to discussing these things. "I mean, I'm not even sure that I want to have sex with him yet".

"Let me paint a picture for you, Joey. It's a beautiful starlit evening, you're alone out at sea with no one around to see, what could happen, and Pacey sexily whispers into your ear: "I love you, Joey and if we made love tonight, you would make me the happiest guy in the entire world". Can you really see yourself still saying no to him in that situation?" Jen asked her, bringing up something that Joey herself had thought about many times.

"It would be tough to, I'll admit that much!" she replied, and it drew a knowing smile from Jen.

"Do you think that I'd been carefully planning it for months, when I did it the first time? Pretty much no one does, it just happens when it happens!"

"Weren't you stoned out of your mind and drunk as a skunk that first time, or was that a lie?"

"I was, but not to where I didn't know what I was doing, or I couldn't control my actions. I made sure that he'd put on a raincoat too, before I allowed him to stick anything of his inside of me, don't think that I didn't! Having safe sex isn't just the guy's responsibility anymore, Joey. We live in the 90's now and that antiquated idea that it's only the boy, who buys the protection is as extinct as the dodo, in case you haven't noticed!" Jen explicitly said, just as they came up to one of Capeside's two pharmacies (the other one being the one with the mean looking lady working behind the counter, that Joey had tried to avoid going to ever since she was a child, if she at all could). "Plus, you can think of this as a ride passage, if you want to. You can like it or not, but Joey, the girl is rapidly turning into Joey, the woman and once you've tried it the first time, it won't be nearly as embarrassing the second time. Even if I'm not sure of a lot of things, that's one thing that I know all about!"

Seeing as Joey couldn't come up with any sound arguments against it, they therefore went into the pharmacy and headed straight for the aisle, where the prophylactics were being kept.

"Okay, so how big is Pacey's ... John Hancock?" Jen slyly asked Joey, who instantly blushed into looking like something resembling a ripe cherry at her candid question.

"I'm not telling you that and especially not in the middle of a public place!" she exasperatedly answered, although it only brought a wide grin out of Jen.

"I don't need to know specifically how long it is, just if it's small, medium, large or jumbo sized, that's all!"

"That's all, you say? This is quickly becoming far too personal for my taste, let's just get out of here!" she tried saying, but sadly for herself, Jen wouldn't let it go.

"Joey, in less than a month, you'll be sixteen! Stop acting like a shy little kid and tell me, how big your boyfriend's penis is!" Jen reprimanded Joey far too loudly, for her own liking.

"I don't know ... above average, probably? I've only seen one other one of them, when I snuck a peak at Dawson's while he was peeing out in the woods, back when we were little kids and I sincerely doubt that the two are in any way comparable!"

"Okay, so we can rule out jumbo-sized and small, from our little equation here. This is kind of hard, now that you mentioned it! She said, pun intended!" Jen quipped to her, although this wasn't a situation that put Joey in much of a joking mood.

"Very funny, Jen!" Joey bit back at her friend. "If I had to guess, I'd say large, but it's just a barely qualified guess!"

"You have to be sure, Joey. If the condom is too large, then it can slip off during sex and if it's too small and gets stretched out too much, it breaks far easier. I can't imagine either that it's pleasant or easy for a guy to keep it up, when all of the blood is practically being forced back out of his "Little Companion" by a latex product, that's too tight for it" Jen reasoned, drawing a small headshake from Joey in return.

"I'm so glad that I don't have one of those things, dangling between my legs! Honestly, I don't have a clue how boys do it and that's coming from a girl, who almost was one of them!"

"What really puzzles me is how they can stop themselves from playing with it all the time! If I had one of those things ..." Jen was just in the middle of saying, when Joey heard just about the last voice that she wanted to hear at that moment, coming from just a few feet away, from where they were standing.

"Shopping for an orgy, I see?" Bessie said and if anything over the past few years had made Joey's blood run cold, it was hearing her older sister's voice in this particular moment.

While Pacey would usually have taken his trusted bike from his house down to the docks, the realist in him knew that it was very likely to get stolen, if it was left unattended for a week during the tourist season. This was why he'd gotten his brother to give him a ride, seeing as Doug was heading in that direction anyway and had stopped by during his morning work break to pick up his nearly freshly cleaned laundry from their mom's house.

"What's your plan, when you get there?" Doug casually asked him, while they were patiently waiting for a red light to switch to green.

"My original plan was to find a bed and breakfast or perhaps, a small motel that we could stay at ..." Pacy began explaining, before Doug's mocking laughter interrupted him.

"In Martha's Vineyard towards the end of July? Did you win the lottery and just forgot to tell me about it?" Doug asked him in that way, where he was relishing playing the better-knowing older brother just a little too much for comfort.

"I hadn't thought that far ahead, okay? I checked what the dock fees are though, and they're actually not too steep, so we'll still be able to sleep on the boat. And, before you ask, I have both a pepper spray and a baseball bat hidden on board, in case we get any unwanted visitors" he assured Doug, who smiled to himself.

"Does this mean that some of things, I've taught you about staying safe, are actually beginning to seep in?" Doug asked him, just before the light signal turned and they continued on their way.

"Don't let it go to your head! Speaking of staying safe, can we stop by a pharmacy on our way? It isn't like I have to, I just need some things to fill up my first-aid kit on the boat with, to make sure that we aren't out in the middle of the ocean and missing some part of it, that I should have stocked up on" he reasoned with his brother, not letting him know of course, what the number one thing on his shopping list was.

"Look at you, acting all responsible for once in your life!" Doug blurted out, sounding almost proud of him in the process. "This has to be thanks to Joey being a positive influence on you!"

"Probably! If it isn't too far out of your way ..."

"No, it's fine, just don't expect me to come in there with you. It's nothing personal, but if people see me taking my little brother shopping, when it should be working, it just wouldn't look right to them" Doug explained and not long after, they'd arrived at a pharmacy, the one with the mean looking lady working behind the counter, who Joey was still scared of talking to, even if it was quite an irrational fear.

So as not to blow his cover with Doug, he firstly did what he'd told him that he would do and, in all honesty, needed to be done, which was to stock up on things for his first-aid kit like bandages, band-aids, disinfectant wipes and things of that sort. This only left one thing on his shopping list and as he stood there looking at the various choices of products to roll down over your wiener, it suddenly occurred to him how little he'd been prepared for this moment. Not that it was the first time, he'd bought condoms (that was a few years before, where his old pal Will had dared him to do it), but it had never been with the potential implication that he could be using one of them in the near future and that made for quite the gamechanger, this time around. Was he really ready to take the ultimate step towards adulthood with Joey? In reality, that was what it would be and as for there being any chance of them going back to being just friends afterwards, those chances would probably be shot to hell in a handbasket. After staring at the selection for over a minute, he came to the conclusion that it would be too much and too soon, which was why he didn't follow his sister's otherwise very sound advice, and left the store with only those things, he'd told his brother that he would buy.

"I wasn't actually planning on having sex with Pacey!" Joey tried reasoning her case to her very stubborn looking sister, who also didn't look all that pleased with her. That they were in the middle of the street wasn't making this conversation any easier to have, and she was praising her lucky stars that it was still relatively early in the morning, meaning that most of the tourists hadn't come out from their temporary dwellings yet.

"Joey, do you think I was born yesterday? A teenage girl shopping for condoms can only mean one thing and don't try to sell me on any other explanation, because it won't work!" Bessie sternly reprimanded her, making Jen (who was only a few feet away from them and looking rather uncomfortable from knowing, that this was in great part her fault) take a few more steps away from the sisterly horror show that was unfolding for everyone to see.

"You won't believe me then, if I say that it was only because the toy store was out of water balloons?" Joey tried her luck with, although Bessie's vehement shaking of the head told her that it probably wasn't the best time to come up with yet another one of her usual smart-ass answers.

"This is serious! Have you had sex with him already? I want the truth this time!" Bessie loudly asked, caring very little that an elderly lady, who was heading into the pharmacy and had probably just come down to there to pick up her meds, was getting far more info about her little sister's personal life than the majority of teenage girls would have wanted a stranger to know about.

"No, but it doesn't mean that we won't someday! I'm not going to stay a virgin forever, just because you want me to, so ..."

"You're still just a big kid, Joey! Sex comes with responsibilities, and you have to be emotionally mature enough, before you even think about doing it. Look, wanting to act a little older than you are, when you're fifteen, is perfectly normal and I'll be the first to admit that I did it too, but this is something, you could end up regretting for the rest of your life. It's my sworn job as your older sister to stop you from making those sorts of mistakes, if I at all can" Bessie explained, before Jen saw the need to throw her two cents in.

"Can I act as the translator here?" Jen asked the two sisters, neither of whom minded it. "Joey, what Bessie meant to say is that because she loves you so much, she also wants to protect you from anything bad, that could happen to you. No matter how you look at it, that can't be a bad thing, can it?"

"No, I guess not" she truthfully replied.

"Bessie, all Joey wants is for you to trust that she knows what's best for herself and as I just told her a few minutes ago, she's quickly turning into a young woman. In a few years, she'll be off to college and by that time, you'll have no choice except to trust her to make the right choices. If anything, you can see this as a bit of helpful practice, when it comes to putting that kind of faith in her" Jen reasoned and from the looks of her older sister, it looked to Joey like Jen's words were doing their stuff.

"Your friend is a lot smarter, than she looks, Joey. No offense, Jen" Bessie calmly told the two of them, while a huge wave of relief travelled from the top of Joey's head and way down to the tips of her toes.

"None taken. I hear that being said about me pretty often" Jen smilingly answered, clearly just glad that she was able to be of help in this situation.

"Bessie, don't you know me well enough to know that I wouldn't have sex, until I'm sure that I'm ready for it?" Joey asked her sister, who'd begun to cool down enough, that they could speak at a lowered and more fitting volume for this sort of subject.

"How far have you gone with Pacey? On second thought, don't tell me! It'll just give me nightmares!" Bessie conceded and while it wasn't something that she often did, Joey felt like this was an occasion that warranted a small hug-out. A hug, that Bessie gladly accepted.

"Not so far that it's anything, you need to worry your pretty head over anytime soon" Joey semi-lied to her sister, just to put her fears at ease. "I just figured that it was better to be on the safe side, in case that I completely lost myself in the moment and forgot all about reason. It doesn't mean that I think it will happen today or tomorrow, just that I'm being realistic enough to know that it could happen sometime over the next couple of years, after I've become old enough and mature enough, that I am ready for everything that having sex comes with".

"Do me a favor though, when it does. Don't tell me a word about it for at least a few years afterwards, until you're entirely sure that I'm also ready to hear about it!" Bessie semi-joked and in truth, it made Joey feel warm inside to not be lying as much to her sister about her own erotic escapades, as she previously had been.

After saying her goodbyes to Jen and Bessie, she quickly made her way down to the docks, where Pacey and his boat were already waiting for her.

"May I have permission to come aboard?" she sweetly asked him, before he gently helped her aboard the boat that would be their home for the next week or so and they shared a long kiss, that part of her never wanted to end.

"Are you going to tell me why you're a bit late, or do I have to start guessing?" Pace playfully asked her, after their long lip lock had finally concluded.

"I was with Jen, when we ran into Bessie down at the pharmacy. She caught us shopping for condoms" she confided to Pacey, who couldn't stop himself from letting out a small chuckle.

"I can easily imagine how that conversation went down! Was she upset with you?"

"She was at first, until Jen helped me with talking her down. Look, Pacey, I love you more than you can begin to imagine, but as for us doing the nasty ..." she began, before her boyfriend practically finished her sentence for her.

"It's better, if we wait. As much I'm aware that this makes me sound like the anti-typical teenage boy, I have to agree with you. We can still do other stuff though, that doesn't involve us going all the way, can't we?" he romantically asked her, and it once again made her feel like a slightly dirty-minded version of Cinderella.

"Can we try sleeping in our birthday suits together?" she suggested and from what she could see, it was a popular suggestion with the boy, who she referred to as the love of her young life so far.

For the next week, all there would be in her small world was the two of them, in love and enjoying every second together, like it was their last chance to. For a teenage girl, who was as up her ears with infatuation for her boyfriend as Joey was, this was the absolute best scenario, she could possibly have dreamt up for herself.

END OF CHAPTER FIFTY-EIGHT

Chapter Text

"We're all goin' on a summer holiday

No more workin' for a week or two

Fun and laughter on our summer holiday

No more worries for me or you

For a week or two

We're goin' where the sun shines brightly

We're goin' where the sea is blue

We've seen it in the movies

Let's see if it's true"

CLIFF RICHARD AND THE SHADOWS (Single from 1963)

"You want to go camping? You can't actually be serious!"

Those sarcastically spoken words from Abby, while they were spacing out after work in Jen's room and watching "Ernest Goes to Camp" (Abby's all-time guilty pleasure movie, that they'd rented from the brand spanking new chain store, that had replaced "Screen Time") on her small TV, were what had set an avalanche rolling in Jen's brain, that once it got started, simply couldn't be stopped again.

Growing up in the biggest city on their entire continent and without having had any sort of wild nature anywhere around her, one thing that Jen had fallen love with almost instantly in Capeside was having it so close all the time, that it was like the scents of it followed her, everywhere she went. She could remember too how, when she was a kid, she would spend the first days after returning to New York dreaming herself back to those couple of weeks every year, that she would spend visiting her grandparents in what at that time, had felt like a veritable utopia to her younger and very impressionable self. Trying for once in her life what it's like to live right in the middle of nature, if only for a few days, therefore didn't seem as foreign to herself as it did to Abby, who flat out had refused to come along.

"Are you absolutely sure? This is your last chance to change your mind!" Jen cheerily asked her, while they were waiting for Jack, Andie and Eve to show up in Jack and Andie's mom's car, that they'd borrowed for the occasion.

"Do I want to be eaten up by untold thousands of hungry mosquitoes, while I have to go to the toilet into a hole in the ground and as an added bonus, have to worry about wild animals sneaking into the tent that I'm sleeping in, while I'm sleeping? As incredibly tempting as it sounds, I'll stay behind here where it's civilized and where I belong, Jen!" Abby answered in a way, where the sarcasm was almost dripping off every word, that came out of her mouth.

"Jack told me that there's a spray, you can spray on yourself, that makes the mosquitoes stay away from you and where we're going, there won't be any dangerous animals. At least, I don't think so" Jen tentatively answered, although she was around as unsure of that final part of her answer, as she could be.

"Trust me, you'll hate it, just like I did, when I was ten years old and my parents thought it would be a great way for me to make friends, seeing as I didn't have any, if I joined the girl scouts! Can you picture me out in the middle of nowhere, living practically like a completely clueless cavewoman and surrounded by a bunch of preppy, do-gooder girls, who all liked me even less, than I liked them? Believe me, it's a pretty accurate picture of how that went down!" Abby headshaking recounted, in a way that made it clear, how little she'd enjoyed the experience.

"Which is exactly why you should come with us, to erase those bad memories from the past and replace them with new ones, where you had a blast with your friends" Jen tried selling the idea one last time to Abby with, but her friend seemed immovable on the subject.

"Only when hell freezes over and even then, it would only be a reluctant maybe! Anyway, I already have plans with Melissa tonight, that I don't feel like missing out on, if you know what I mean?" Abby asked her with a small wink of the eye, that told Jen nearly everything, that she needed to know.

"And what are they, she asked not wanting too much graphic information, but still enough that she doesn't feel like she's being left entirely out of the loop?" she slyly asked Abby, who was already smiling with anticipation for what was to come later that day.

"Let's just say that Mellissa's parents, who should be leaving their home just about now, won't be home from their trip to Bangor for another two days and we've been planning for weeks on making the absolute most out of it! I've already told Grams that she shouldn't expect me to come to home until tomorrow evening, at the earliest" Abby grinningly shared and while it wasn't much in the way of information, it was still close to all that Jen needed to hear.

"Basically, an entire weekend spent naked together, is that what I'm hearing?"

"That's what it will be, if I have things my way! Am I detecting a hint of jealousy? After all, if you'd played your cards right, before I met Melissa ..."

"That's a job, I'm happy to leave in her, what I'm sure are very capable, hands!"

"Oh, they are very capable hands, alright! You're not in any way wrong there!" Abby just had time to (slightly dirtily) quip, before Jack and Andie's mom's car came into sight. Moments later, it pulled up to the side of the road, right in front of them, with the twins having occupied the front seats and leaving herself and her half-sister to share the backseat between them.

"Ready for a weekend of fun in the sun?" Andie cheerily asked her, even before she'd gotten the door closed.

"As ready, as I'll ever be!" Jen replied, while trying to sound as gleeful, as she could.

In reality though, some of the things that Abby had warned her about were still floating through her head, while they drove the ten or so miles to the campsite, that Pacey and Dawson had used to frequent, back when they were kids and would be her home for most of the next two days.

When Jen had presented the idea of going camping to Jack, it had felt like the perfect scenario, at that particular moment. Not only would it be a chance to get out into the nature surrounding them and explore it, but it would just as importantly be a very welcome break away from the depressing world, he called his home life.

Ever since his and Andie's mother had subjected them all to an evening of the likes of horrors, that no one would want to subject themselves to again, she'd been admitted to a mental hospital, located in the next town over and around thirty miles from their house. Every day, they (meaning himself and Andie every day and their dad on less than half of them) drove down there and every day, he left there hoping that it wouldn't be long, until they could bring their mom back home with them. However, even if he kept trying to tell himself that they were doing the right thing for her, by following her doctor's orders, the worst thing about visiting her was seeing how the light in her eyes was disappearing and for the first time, he was starting to seriously worry if it would ever return again.

Even Andie, who was the undisputed master of seeing the glass as half-full, wouldn't say more than a few words on their trips back from that utterly soul-sucking place and when they got home, it wasn't like it was all that much better. Their father, who had never been a man that found intimate talks with his family appealing, or an easy thing to deal with, was already burying himself in his new job and copying the exact same pattern, that he followed after Tim died, something that in essence left Jack to be the man of the house, while Andie was trying her hardest to fill in for their mom. All of this left their house feeling like an abstract picture, where one essential part in the middle was missing and until they got it back, this was what their lives looked like. Something, that made little sense to anyone, not even those who were living through it.

For this reason, too, Andie had been a bundle of joy for days afterwards, after he'd told her about their camping plans, leaving him no choice except to invite her along. Jen didn't mind this either, especially since it gave her a chance to introduce her long-lost half-sister to them, if we didn't count the few times where they'd had short conversations with her, down at the Ice House. Eve seemed like a perfectly nice girl to him too, even if he had a distinct feeling that she was mentally undressing him with her eyes, every time that she'd been given the chance to.

"Have you ever been to this spot, we'll be camping at?" Eve asked him, seemingly very innocently, while they were unloading the last of their camping gear from the car. With Jen and Andie already having walked ahead as pathfinders (and only carrying the bare minimum) it clearly left himself as the number one pack mule among them.

"No, but Pacey gave us a detailed description on how to get there and it didn't sound like it's hard to find" he casually replied to Jen's photo model pretty half-sister, who from what he could tell wasn't nearly as shy about her ability to carry things, as her two fellow girls on this little trip were.

"I haven't been camping, since I was your age. That sure was a fun weekend to remember!" Eve recollected with a small smile to herself, making him instantly a bit curious to find out why.

"Where was this?" he asked, not really because he cared, just out of sheer curiosity.

"Close to Lake Tahoe. I only went there with my three older brothers, because they kept teasing me that I couldn't hack it out in the wild. What they didn't know of course, was what kind of wild things were going on inside of my tent, after they'd fallen asleep!" Eve told him with a cheeky smile, that he found it hard not to return.

"I bet that those Lake Tahoe boys had no idea, what had hit them!" he jokingly replied, although it also had the adverse effect of making Eve look flirtingly back at him.

"Is that your adorably shy way of telling me, that you want to get it on with me, Jack?" Eve bluntly asked him, but before he'd shaken his shellshock off enough to answer her, she'd already burst out into a wide smile.

"Chill, Jack!" she reassured him. "In spite of what some ignorant people in my hometown think of me, I'm not some self-loathing slut, who'll drop my panties for the first guy that takes pity on me and no offense, but the last time that I hooked up with a sixteen-year-old was when I still was one" Eve explained, drawing a sigh of relief from himself. Having had one straight girl fall for him this year was bad enough, without adding another name to the list, after all.

"I'm not really into one-night stands either" he semi-lied to her, just to say something, although he'd only tried one of them (with a bubbly and cute girl named Mia, shortly before he'd become an item with Kate) and it had ended, practically before it had begun.

"There's nothing wrong with having a one-nighter once in a while, as long as you're both agreed beforehand on that being all, it's going to be. I mean, I'd never try to start a relationship up with someone like you, but I could easily pretend that you're eighteen for a few hours, if that's what I had to. It makes for some interesting food for thought, huh?" Eve rhetorically said, before she was on her way to following in the footsteps of Jen and Andie, that were easily visible from all of the high grass, they'd had to pass through.

"Not again!" was all that he annoyedly whispered to himself, before he followed after her. At a reasonable distance, it should be added.

If there was one thing that Jen would gladly admit to not being, it was a handy woman. For some odd reason, whenever a tool was placed in her hands, her natural reaction had always been to pass it onto someone else, who was hopefully better at using it, than she would have been. For this reason and since Jack was kind of a control freak, when it came to putting up their newly bought tents, she'd volunteered to gather firewood with Andie, who also happened to be "blessed" by being born without any sort of talent for masonry.

"Look!" Andie implored her, while she pointed out a chipmunk, who was busy trying to open up the nuts, that would no doubt make up its late lunch.

"We had chipmunks back home too; in case you didn't know. It is pretty adorable though; I won't deny that!" Jen had to concede, before spotting a small bonanza of usable firewood, only a few feet distance from where they were standing.

"Sorry, if I'm getting too excited over nothing, but I've been looking forward to this like it was my birthday and Christmas, rolled into one. Just being out here, where there's no pressure from anyone to succeed, and all you have to worry about is finding enough wood to yourself keep warm at night is kind of nice, you know?" Andie asked her, before wiping what little sweat there was from her brow.

"They don't call it the simple life for nothing! is that really how you feel, though? That there's a lot of pressure on you to succeed in life?"

"Right now, the things that I know are the only things, I can wrap my head around. School, my family, my friends and so on. I'm sure that Jack has told you what happened to our mom".

"He has, but in any great detail. Are you doing okay?" she concernedly asked from knowing that the last time things went this wrong in their little family, it ended with Andie being sent to the same kind of place, their mom was now calling her temporary home.

"I'm hanging in there, I guess" Andie quietly answered, although the tone in her voice said that this wasn't something, she was in the mood to talk about. "What's it like to all of a sudden have a sister of your own?"

"It's fair to say that we're both still getting used to it. Introducing Eve to her long-lost family members has been an experience that I'll never forget though, I won't deny that" Jen answered and wasn't lying either. She'd begun with introducing Eve to Grams, which as you would expect had been a heartwarming and tear-jerking affair, but it was when she'd introduced Eve to her biological father, who'd been just as ecstatic to meet his daughter, as she had been to finally meet him, that even Jen's own waterworks had been put into a state of overdrive. Now, Eve was even talking about moving in with her dear old dad; to begin to make up for all of that time, they'd already lost over the eighteen years where they'd been apart.

"There's something, you don't see every day!" Andie suddenly exclaimed, before pointing out yet another thing to Jen, probably the tenth time in the last two hours, that she had.

This time though, Jen had to admit that Andie was spot on, when she saw the most adorable little black bear cub, that she'd ever seen in her life, rummaging through the forest bed with its snout for food, only fifty yards or so from where they were standing. In truth, she'd only seen one other bear cub (at the zoo, when she was a kid) and she couldn't remember which type of bear it was, only that it had struck her as kind of depressed looking, a stark contrast to this one, that from the looks of it was in its perfect element and leading a pretty sweet life. If you're a bear cub, that is!

"Is it dangerous?" she quietly asked Andie, who was usually a fountain of information, when it came to things like knowing if a bear is interested in eating you or not.

"Not really. I mean, they are omnivores, meaning that they can eat just about anything and still pass it through their system, but I'm sure that if it came face to face with us, it would just become scared of us and run away. If we'd been a pair of tasty looking fish however, then we'd have to worry a whole lot more!" Andie joked and it was nice for Jen to hear that in spite of everything that had happened over the summer, it hadn't made Andie lose any of her dry wit, that was what Jen first found out that she liked about her.

"Let's not disturb it's life any more than we already have. After all, this is its home and we're only the guests here" she told Andie, who seemed to agree with her and seeing as they already had more than plenty, when it came to firewood for the next day or so, they made their way back to the campsite.

Jack had expected their camping trip to be a time to kick back and relax, while they took in the wonders of the wild and if he was lucky, he could even forget his troubles back home for a short while. Every hope of that had evaporated by the time it was becoming dark though, and Andie and Jen still hadn't returned yet. Even the usually almost "Too Cool for Comfort" Eve had stopped with her double-entendres and was starting to look worried, too.

"Do you think that we should go out looking for them?" she worriedly asked him, after they'd finished eating their roasted hotdogs on a stick for dinner, that he'd brought with him from home. With the only light source, apart from the rising moon, being the small fire that was also keeping them warm, it was a fair question and one, he'd been asking himself too.

"I have a flashlight in my backpack, so we could, if we wanted to. Only ..."

"What if we get lost out there too?" Eve finished his sentence for him.

"You had that thought too, huh?"

"We can't just sit here and do nothing, either. What if something has happened to them?" Eve asked concernedly and since it would have been worse to just sit around and wait in ignorance, they quickly put out their fire, before Jack found his flashlight and they made their way into the wilderness.

"I told you that we should have turned left back there! Now, we can't even see the road anymore!" Andie complained both whiningly and loudly, something that wasn't helping Jen with keeping a cool head in this unfortunate situation, they were finding themselves in.

"Chill, Andie! You're stressing me out even more, than I already was!" she replied to the shrill girl, who would surely soon start to seriously get on her nerves, if she didn't keep her always working trap shut for a minute or two!

"I should have stayed home, where it's warm and safe!" Andie complained, sounding like she was on the verge of tears. Perhaps this was why Jen decided that if one of them was going to take charge of this situation, it had to be her and not the one, who was on the verge of giving up already.

"Look, Andie" Jen began saying, as she grabbed a gentle hold of Andie's slender and frail hand. "We wouldn't have been out here, if it wasn't for me, so I'll get you back to Jack safely, okay? If I can survive on the mean streets of Manhattan at night, then this should be a walk in the park, right?" she tried to convince Andie (and herself, if she had to be honest), whom she could just see through the faint light of the moon was giving her a small nod of confidence, although small would probably have been the imperative word in that sentence.

One thing that Jen knew more or less, was which direction they had to walk in, to get back to their campsite, so what she tried to do was simply steer them that way and hope for the best. They had to step carefully of course, and she made sure to warn Andie well in advance, whenever there was something to look out for, seeing as the last thing they needed at this time was one of them breaking a foot or an ancle. It worked too, to her giant relief, only when they got back to their camp, there was no sign of either Jack or Eve, save for a note that one of them had left behind. Judging by the poor handwriting, she guessed that it was probably Jack.

"Have gone out to look for you. If you get here before us, don't do the same! We'll see you, when we see you. Our food is in the cooler box" Andie read aloud from the note, that looked like it had been scribbled in near darkness from the looks of it, after they'd gotten a small fire going, which could warm their lightly dressed for summer bodies up again.

"There you have it. All we can do is stay here and wait. Now, what's for dinner?" she asked Andie, and it wouldn't be many minutes later, before the two girls were preparing a small feast of cheaply bought junk food for themselves.

"Am I the first girl, you've slept with?" Eve cheekily asked Jack, as they made their way back to the small campsite, where his sister and his ex-girlfriend would hopefully be waiting for them. Prior to this had gone a night, where they (after having come to the realization that they too had become hopelessly lost in this area, they'd never been in before) had kept one another warm by embracing tightly, while they waited for the sun to rise, and it would be far easier to find their way back again.

"I don't know about you but sleeping sitting up against a tree isn't something, that I feel like trying again!" he answered her, in the most neutral way that he could, without divulging anything personal to this girl, whom he still only barely knew.

"You're so cute, when you try to sneak out of answering a personal question! You don't have to tell me, if you don't want to, I was just goofing around. Anyway, I'm sure that you have at least half of the single, sixteen-year-old girls in Capeside knocking down your door, to try to get a date with you?" Eve flirtingly asked him, in a way that did little to hide that she was starting to become sweet on him.

"Not really. I'm more of the "Find the right one and stick with them" type of guy, if you want the truth" he carefully replied, making sure not to hint at anything, that could give away his sexuality to someone, he hadn't known long enough to trust them yet.

"Isn't that what we're all hoping to find someday? Of course, no one's saying that the looking for someone part can't be all sorts of fun too, are they?" Eve asked him, while he took a glance around at their surroundings to see if any of it rang a bell with him. Not that it did, but it was still worth a try.

"Look, Eve. I'm not on the market for a girlfriend right now. It's a very long story, that it would take literally hours to fill you in on, but there are a lot of things going on in my homelife, that you wouldn't want to have happen in it, and before all of that is back in some kind of working order, it's better if I stay single. For now, at least" he began trying to explain to Eve, who looked understanding, at least.

"I was only putting it out there, Jack, because you seem like a sweet and honest guy, that's all. The kind of guy that I'd want to have by my side, if I was to get lost in the woods at night" Eve sweetly told him and to their luck, it wouldn't be too long, before they could spot their tents and were reunited with their respective relatives.

"Was I right or was I right, when it comes to camping in the wild?" Abby asked Jen, on the evening after she'd returned from what had been a couple of days out in the wild, that while some of it was okay, she could have done without for the most part. They were helping one another with doing the dishes after their dinner, that since it was cooked by Grams, was also a huge step up from the excuse for food, she'd had for dinner the day before.

"You were right, mostly!" Jen conceded, which drew a slightly triumphant smile on Abby's mug. "I think that if I learned a lesson this weekend, it's that I love nature, but only in small enough doses that I can sleep in my own bed at night".

"We're sort of the same that way, I suppose" Abby casually answered, before wiping off the last of the plates and beginning to put them back into their assigned cupboard.

"How was your girlfriend weekend with Melissa?"

"Very nice, until her parents came home half a day early and almost caught us doing something, I'm guessing that most parents wouldn't want to catch their daughter doing to another girl!" Abby eye-rolling answered, and Jen couldn't help herself from giggling, even if she probably shouldn't have. "If there was such a thing as a recorded world record for how fast that a lesbian girl has gotten dressed and wiped off the edges of her mouth, then I'm sure that both of us shattered it!"

"You're bordering on T.M.I. here, Abby! Just saying!"

"Living with Grams for the past year has turned you into such a prude, Jen! Speaking of beds to sleep in, I told you about how the Potter's are selling the Ice House and buying a bigger and better house for some of the dough, they're getting for it, didn't I?" Abby slightly nervously asked her and already, Jen had a creeping feeling where this was heading.

"A few dozen times, yes" she understatedly answered, although with the number of times Abby had talked to her about it, combined with the number of times that Joey had, Jen was practically an expert by now, when it came to the subject.

"I was talking to Bessie and Bodie at work and they asked me, if I wanted to move into it with them. I love living here too, you know that it's just ..."

"That they're your family?" Jen understandingly asked Abby, finishing her sentence for her.

"They're the closest thing that I have to one. I really miss living with them, Jen. I hope, you can understand that" Abby asked of her with enough gleam in those hopeful eyes of hers, that it was impossible for Jen to give her anything, except for her fullest blessing.

Something, that Grams did too, only a few minutes later.

END OF CHAPTER FIFTY-NINE

Chapter Text

" If you could read my mind, you'd see

I'm crazy for you

Touch me once and you'll know it's true

I've never wanted anyone like this

It's all brand new

You'll feel it in my kiss

I'm crazy for you!"

MADONNA (Single from 1985)

For once in Joey's life, it felt like there were only sunny skies ahead and like her only job on this earth, was to enjoy being young, free and in love with the boy of her dreams for all it was worth, before "real school" started up again a few weeks from then, and reality began rearing its ugly head. An easy job for sure, and as she sat on laid on the stern part Pacey's boat, sometime around lunchtime on the Tisbury tourist docks on Martha's Vineyard and soaking up the sunny rays, while she enjoyed occasionally glancing over at the sight of her man being busy with cooking lunch for her, a fleeting thought came into her head. What if Jen had never come to Capeside in the first place?

The longer that had passed, since she'd become friends with that lovable girl from New York, the more she had also begun to see what kind of a positive influence, Jen had been on herself and her life in general. After all, when she thought back to who she'd been just a year earlier, it was like you were talking about two completely different girls. The "old Joey" had been a cynic, who was constantly acting defensive towards most people, even those that knew her best oftentimes, afraid to take chances to a fault and someone, who was far too hung up on the idea that she already knew everything there was to know, even if she could see now that she knew basically nothing, before she'd begun to open herself up to both the rest of the world and the possibilities, that it offered her. As for her romantic life, she would no doubt still have been hung up on Dawson, if they hadn't tried dating and broken up already, which in all fairness would have been very likely. She would have been far too scared of leaving what she knew behind, to head off to France and more than anything, she wouldn't have had anywhere near the number of close friends, she could count in her life now.

This "new Joey" had matured so much over the year that had passed, that it almost felt like she'd become a young woman, who could stand on her own two feet, if she had to and it wasn't just that she'd started to become "Sexually Experienced", or whatever you want to call it. That was part of it of course, and with every new thing that her and Pacey tried, it felt like she was growing up a little more, but it was just as much that her general state of mind had undergone a transformation from being afraid of what the future held, to now looking forward to whatever it was that life would bring her.

"Remind me to buy a present for Jen today" she casually remarked to Pacey, who was busy slaving over his hot plate in trying to create a full English breakfast for two, minus the baked beans that were sold out at the small harbor store, they'd shopped at the evening before. Prior to this had gone nearly two days of doing very little more than making out on the boat, which was also why she wanted to make this day count, like it was their last together.

"Did you have anything particular in mind?" he asked her back, while she could hear the sizzling from the frying pan in the background, probably from the bacon being roasted on it.

"How much do you think that a well-mannered and stunningly handsome boyfriend for her would cost?" she jokingly asked him and could hear him laughing to himself.

"A lot more than you have in your bank account!" he quipped in return. "Anyway, is "Well-Mannered" really the sort of guy, you can see Jen shacking up with? Knowing her, she'll be bored to tears with a guy like that, before the first week has passed!"

"You're probably right. It just doesn't seem fair, you know? I mean, without her being there for us, when we were first starting out, do you think that we would have made it this far?"

"My sixth sense is saying no, but you never know. Stranger things have been known to happen" he told her, just before bringing her a breakfast plate that was exactly what her hungry stomach had been crying out for.

To Pacey, the island known as Martha's Vineyard (or simply "The Vineyard", like most of the locals called it) represented both positive and negative memories, almost in equal amounts. Every year from his first in the world and up to a few years before this, his family would go there once a year and always around the 4th of July weekend. They stayed in different towns (The Vineyard has six of them) every time, as a way to keep things from not feeling the exact same year after year, but it was as set in stone as death and taxes, that for that one week a year, they would all be forced to be together much more than they were on a daily basis. Needless to say, this created it's conflicts now and again, and when he thought back to those vacations, what he remembered most from them was hoping that they would end soon, so he could come home to his friends and what he knew. Then again, there were always those little moments, that usually came when everyone would shut up at the same time for once, where they felt like a proper family, that wasn't constantly falling apart at the seams and weren't preoccupied with trying to keep up appearances in their everyday lives, so that no one would know the truth.

Eventually though, after Doug had moved out on his own and Gretchen headed off to college, they'd stopped going on these vacations and with how much his parents' marriage had deteriorated by that point, it was clearly for the best too. Just the thought of being the only one of their children there, stuck between two sides at war and with no intentions of making peace with one another, seemed to him like a fate worse than getting sent to prison and if he had to be honest, a year before this he probably would have much preferred a week of the latter, rather than the former!

Those days were far in his rearview mirror now though, where he was enjoying every second of every moment of his days spent with the perfect girlfriend, who also just happened to be the best travelling companion, any guy could ask for.

"Have you been thinking about what you're going to do with all of that free time, you'll have next year, now that you don't have to work after school anymore?" he asked Joey, while they were glancing over the items, inside of what was clearly a shop that catered solely to tourists, who were looking for a souvenir to bring home from their vacations and almost no one else.

"I'm not sure. It would make sense for me to join some extra-curriculars, I guess" she casually answered him, while looking at some small figurines of old-fashioned sailors, sharks, mermaids and the like, that you would expect a somewhat cheesy shop like this to have.

"You could join the debate team. Come to think of it, that would work out tremendously for me, because then you wouldn't have to argue with me about everything!" he joked, and it drew a wide smile from the love of his life, who turned her attention back to him.

"I don't do that anymore! Not deliberately, anyway!" she replied defensively, although all he could do was smile to himself at her claims.

"Please, Joey! If there is anyone that I know, who has a strong opinion on just about everything, it's you! Don't take it as a bad thing, it's a part of what I love about you" he quickly added at the end, just to be certain that his dream girl didn't take it the wrong way.

"Nice save! Anyway, what about you? Are you planning on cruising by on a D plus average, like you usually do, or will this be the year where we finally see you taking school the slightest bit seriously?"

"I do! Sometimes!" he pleaded his case, even if it only made his girlfriend shake her pretty head at his pleas.

"As in "Only, when you're absolutely forced to, have nothing resembling any other choice and otherwise close to never"? Wouldn't that be a far more accurate answer?"

"I just don't like going to school, okay? It doesn't make me any different from millions of other high school guys around the world".

"That's the worst excuse, I've ever heard! There is such a thing as having ambitions, you know?"

"Let's face it, if this had been thirty or even twenty years ago, then a guy like me would have been either sent out to work in the fields or the factories, or out to sail the seas long ago, because I'm obviously wasting my time there. I'll only be going to college, if I get dragged in there kicking and screaming and I'll never bring home a report card, that my mom will be so proud of, that she'll hang with it a freezer magnet on the front of the fridge, like she used to with Doug's and Gretchen's, so what's supposed to be the point in me trying any harder than I have to? Just between us, if my folks would have allowed it, I would have dropped out already, so I'm basically stuck there, hoping that I can get it over and done with, the only way I know how to" he truthfully told Joey, who suddenly looked like she was having a small brainstorm, that only she was aware of what was about.

"Have you ever thought about joining the drama club?" she asked him out of nowhere, and when she did, he found it extremely hard not to laugh out so long and loud, that he would have had hiccups for hours afterwards!

"You can't be serious! I've never seen a play in my life!" he replied to her, although it wasn't entirely true, since he'd been forced by his parents to attend a pair of Gretchen's school plays with them and Doug. What was true though, was that none of the times where he'd seen one, were experiences that he thought back on fondly, and what he mostly remembered was waiting impatiently for those plays to finally end.

"So what? Let me try something on you. Which items are number five, ten, fifteen and twenty on the menu card at the Ice House?"

"Number five is the fish and chips, number ten is the rib-eye steak, number fifteen is the halibut with Hollandaise sauce and number twenty are the barbecue ribs. I still don't get what that has to do with the drama club!"

"All of that whole spiel was stuff that you'd memorized, right? That's exactly what an actor does. Plus, you're a total babe and that doesn't exactly hurt your chances either!" Joey sweetly told him, making it all that harder for him not to kiss her then and there. As it was, he had to settle for putting his arms around her and enjoying having her sexy body being rubbed tightly up against his own.

"Do you know which play they did last year? "A Streetcar Named Desire"! First of all, aren't all cars essentially streetcars and secondly, who would name their car desire? I can get why a guy would give his car a girl's name but come on! Desire? Really?" he rhetorically asked a now giggling Joey, who was caring as little as he was, that half of those in the store were probably staring at them.

"If you tried joining their club, perhaps you could ask the teacher and clear up that very puzzling mystery! Look, you don't have to join it, if you don't want to, but what other kind of extra-curriculars could you see yourself signing up for?"

"I could sign up for the glee club and share my musical talent with the world?" he jokingly suggested back, not really meaning it, of course.

"I've heard you sing "Wild Thing" a time or two and trust me, when I tell you that singing isn't where your talents lie! I only want the best for you, I hope that you know that, my love" she whispered in his ear, sounding as adoring and irresistible, as she ever had to him.

They left that store having found what they came in there for, a handful of cheap trinkets to give away to those back home, as well as a few to keep for themselves. What Pacey also left there with though, was an idea in his head that perhaps Joey was right, when she'd said that himself and the drama club might not have been the most impossible mix in the world.

There was really only one problem for Joey, when it came to her and Pacey's vacation: She was enjoying herself so much that the time was passing by way too fast! In one way of course, this was a nice thing, but after their week was half-way over, it felt to her like she hadn't experienced or tried anything, that she could tell her friends about back home, that didn't involve herself and Pacey making out. Something, that took up quite a bit of their time, not that she minded it at all! Perhaps, this was why she'd asked Pacey, if they should try signing up for it, when she saw a street ad for a diver's course, that you could take down by the harbor. Even if it wouldn't be an experience that rivaled the journeys of Jacques Cousteau, it would still be something that none of her friends had tried and to add to the enticement, they also had a special "First-Timers" offer, that made it affordable enough to try.

After having been trained in how to do a few practical things, like how to get the water out of your swim-goggles, if they begin to fill up with it, they swam after an experienced diver, who gave them a tour of the seabed, that was like having a brand-new world open up for both of them. As an added bonus, it gave Joey a few flashbacks too, back to when she'd still been a little kid and her favorite book was Hans Christian Andersen's "The Little Mermaid". How many times that she'd made her mom read it to her, she had no idea, but it had to have been enough times, that even her very patient mother must have been a little tired of it by the end. She could still remember how every time after they'd finished it, she would imagine what it was like to be an actual mermaid (you can only imagine how disappointed that her six-year-old self was to find out that they aren't real!) and in many ways, this was the closest that she would ever get to living out that childhood fantasy. Pacey looked like he was enjoying himself too, although it wasn't easy to see with him wearing a breathing apparatus and swimming goggles.

After having spent their morning mostly in wet-suits and under water, they did one of the things on Pacey's list and spent the afternoon fishing from the sides of his boat, a short distance off the shore, in between brief making out sessions, it almost goes without saying! In spite of this, they managed to catch one appetizing looking fish, that also made for a nice, romantic dinner that evening. This was a vacation on a tight budget after all, and after they'd blown so much of their meager funds on that diving course, the two young lovers would have to save where they could for the rest of the week.

"You don't think that there's any way, where we can stop time, so this vacation will never come to an end?" she casually asked Pacey, while they were helping one another with making their little feast for evening ready for consumption.

"I doubt it. Just like I doubt that you're the first girl in the history of the world, who's wished that her fun times would never stop!" he quipped in return, before they shared yet another small kiss, out of the hundreds they shared that week. "Anyway, if vacations lasted forever, then they wouldn't feel special. Now, would they?"

"Look at you, my proud D student boyfriend, sharing your little pocket philosophies with the world! Or to be more exact, me, but in this case, I'm representing the rest of the world! Do you have any others of those little nuggets of gold?"

"What father knows is always best?" he tried his luck with, but it only got a vehement headshake from the gorgeous mid-teen girl, who for some reason thought that he was worthy of calling himself her boyfriend.

"Considering how many enormous mistakes that both of our respective fathers have made, don't you think that tired old saying was proven wrong long ago?" she sarcastically asked back, making Pacey nod in agreement with her.

"I won't become like either of them, I promise" he told her, before flipping their fish on the frying pan one last time, before it was ready to be served.

"I know that you won't. Pacey?"

"Yeah, Joey?"

"Do you think that we'll become one of those couples like Dawson's parents, who at their age are still as in love now, as they were when they fell for each other?" she asked him with a hopeful gleam in her eyes, that could only bring a smile out in Pacey.

"Joey, I know that I can't predict what will happen in the future, but if there is one thing that I can guarantee you, beyond a shadow of a doubt, it's that I'll never stop loving you" he solemnly told her, and if there is such a thing as being filled with joy from head to toe, then Joey was the poster girl for it at that moment in time.

After eating their rather well tasting fish (that could have used a fitting sauce and a few condiments to go with it, as they could both agree), they took advantage of the privacy that being slightly off-shore afforded them to get naked and in turn, do lots of those "Nude Fun-Tivities" (as Abby liked to call it) that it was difficult for them to find places to do in practice, back home in Capeside. A problem that would only get worse, once the cold returned and they wouldn't have the boat for the winter as their "Getaway Spot", yet another reason why they were enjoying their temporary freedom, for all it was worth.

When Pacey had suggested to Joey, that they should go away on their first couples' vacation, even he couldn't have imagined that it would have come as perfectly natural to himself and Joey, as it did. If anything, this felt like it should be the natural state of affairs every day of their lives, but on the other hand, the sensible side of him was also telling him that without their families close to them at this particular stage of their lives, things were bound to take a wrong turn somewhere along the way. Not to mention that they would both have to get full-time jobs to pay the rent and their bills, something that he wasn't all that keen on getting started on, before he had to. This didn't mean that he couldn't fantasize though, about what it would be like to come back here one day, when they'd added a few rug-rats to their family trees and were hopefully in a place in their lives, where renting a room in a B&B for a few days wouldn't ruin them. Would Joey still be as beautiful then, as she was now, he thought to himself while lying next to her on his ship's cot, watching her sleeping like an angel, who through his rose-tinted glasses could do no wrong? In his own opinion, she no doubt would be, just like he had no doubt that she would make for an amazing mom someday out into the far-off future, when they weren't still basically kids themselves, who were trying to find out who they were and what their place in the world was going to be.

After deciding with himself that it was no use trying to fall asleep again, he got up carefully to make sure that he didn't wake up Joey as well by mistake. To his surprise though, when he tried to climb over her, she grabbed him by the waist and pressed him down on her own barely clad body, as she gave him a morning kiss to remember.

"How long have you been pretending to sleep?" he asked a slightly tired looking, but still very cute and smiling Joey, who refused to let go of him, now that she had him in her grasp.

"Fifteen to twenty minutes, I'm guessing. I was afraid that I'd wake you up, if I started moving around too much" she drowsily told him, while they began to make those small movements, that they both loved so much and they'd so far only done with their underwear on.

"You don't think that it's a little early in the morning for these sorts of adult activities?" he whispered to her in the sexiest voice that he could, as he caressed those soft and warm breasts of hers, that were just the perfect size and that when she laid almost fully exposed, as she was here, made her look like the sexiest teenage girl, there could possibly exist in the entire world, at least in his eyes.

"So sue me, I'm feeling horny as a toad!" Joey answered completely unapologetically, almost making him laugh in the process. "Do you have any clue how many mornings I woke up over in France and wished, you were lying in my bed next to me, wearing as little, as you are now? Granted, I don't have an exact count on it, but I can tell you for sure that it was by far most of my mornings over there!"

"In an odd way, that's sort of comforting!" he told her back, moments before they both let a hand slide down the front of the undies of their partner, down to those regions of their bodies that no one else was allowed to play with.

After having had just about the best bit up naked wake-up fun, she could have asked for, Joey felt ready and invigorated for what would be their last day in the beautiful surroundings of Martha's Vineyard, before it was time for them to journey back home to whatever awaited them there. What she could guess though, was that it wouldn't be as much of a blast as the last week had been, which was also why she'd made the decision that on this last day, they would play tourists to the extreme, or as much as their budget afforded them to, at least.

To start the day off with, they boarded a small ferry over to the tiny island of Chappaquiddick, where they rented a pair of bicycles for a few hours and spent the morning riding around and taking in the scenery, prior to having a cheap, but still romantic lunch on the beach and made their way back to the mainland, so to speak. Next on their list was taking the bus to Oak Bluffs (another of the six towns, that exist on the island), where they took a walk down the quirky shopping enclave known as Circuit Avenue, before making their way over to the Trinity Park Tabernacle, where some of the most famous historical buildings on the island are located. Not that Capeside didn't have its share of historical buildings too (a fact that they bragged more than plenty about, when it came to selling the town to out of towners), but these seemed a bit more well-kept to Joey, compared to those back home.

By the time they were done taking in the sights of Oak Bluffs, it was nearly four o'clock and if they both had to be honest, then they'd done enough walking, biking and sightseeing for one day, so they instead took the bus back to Tisdale, where Pacey's boat and an evening of rest and relaxation awaited them, topped off with a glorious eight-dollar-fifty spaghetti dinner, that pretty much wiped out the rest of the pocket money, they'd brought along.

"Would it be too inappropriate, if I suggested that we stayed here for another month?" she adoringly asked Pacey, who was keeping her wrapped in his arms on the deck, to keep her warm while they watched the sunset from the bow of his boat. In that moment, she couldn't have felt closer with him, if she'd tried and if she had to be honest, she'd been soaking it up for the whole week all that she could, while she could.

"Don't you think that you'd miss your family?" he asked her back, making a good point that it would be hard to ignore in the long run.

"Yeah, I probably would. Thanks, Pacey" she told him with a grateful smile, making him look confused, as to what she meant.

"For what?" he asked, sounding a bit clueless.

"For just being you. For being the only one, who knows me better, than I know myself. Most of all, for showing me what it means to be in love" she whispered to him and somehow, even if they'd kissed so many times before that it shouldn't be possible anymore, the next kiss they shared afterwards felt just a little more important to her than nearly all of their other shared kisses had.

Time flies, while you're having fun, as they say and for Pacey, this had certainly rung true, when it came to this short holiday away from home. By the time they, meaning himself and Joey, had reached their farewell day to Martha's Vineyard, it still felt to him like they'd just arrived the day before, something that he could attribute in great part to his amazing girlfriend, who was making every day with her feel like he wanted them to last forever. With there only being less than two weeks left of their summer vacation too, if there was ever a time to enjoy every second, like it was your last, then this was certainly it.

Not that there weren't a few things, he looked forward to happening, over the next few weeks as well. Dawson would be returning from Philly, for one thing, no doubt full of stories like he usually was, whenever he'd spent a handful of weeks over the summer, living it up with his aunt in the big city. Then, there would be the last day of summer barbecue down at the beach, the highlight of the final part of the tourist season in Capeside, before the tourists quickly began disappearing from sight (practically from day to day), as they travelled back to their normal lives. Before he knew it, the only ones left of them would be a handful of the oldest, who weren't exactly the partying types anymore and life would be more or less back to its usual in the small coastal town, they called home. For most of the next year at least, before the tourists returned and the whole hootenanny started all over again.

He already knew that they would be getting a new principal at Capeside High next year, some guy named Mr. Green, whom from what he'd heard through the grapevine was a real hard ass, although the sources that he'd heard it from could hardly be called credible, even under the best of circumstances. In any case, getting a new principal was also a chance for a fresh start for himself with someone, whom he hadn't already had to have plenty of uncomfortable talks with about subjects like his grades, that he never felt like talking to anyone about.

He'd just said his goodbyes to Joey, before they headed their separate ways home and was looking over the bulletin board with the bus schedule written on it, when he noticed a rather pretty African American girl, looking like she was around his own age, waiting for the bus, just like he was.

"The bus won't be here for another half an hour, in case you're wondering. I just missed it" the girl told him, sounding a little annoyed at her situation.

"Just be glad that it's still summer, where they stop by once every half hour and not the winter, where they only come once every hour, if you're lucky!" he small talked back to the girl, whom he got a cute grin out of.

"Finally, one of the locals shares some secrets with me!" the girl, whom he had to admit was quite charming, quipped. "Do you go to high school here?"

"I'll be a junior next year" he informatively answered the girl, who made space for him on the bench that she was sitting on, so he could sit next to her. When he did, they smiled in a friendly way at one another.

"In that case, we'll be classmates. My dad is the new principal at your school" the girl (sort of) introduced herself.

As luck would have it, he found out that this girl (along with being named Nikki) was also very easy to talk to and not only that, was planning on joining the drama club, just not as an actor, more as the brain behind the madness, who controlled things behind the scenes.

The more, he talked to her however, the more something also became clear to him. That this girl, if there was such a thing in existence, was practically tailor-made for his best friend!

END OF CHAPTER SIXTY

Chapter Text

" Just another new kid in town"

EAGLES (From the album "Hotel California" (1976))

To Nikki, starting at a new school wasn't what could call a new experience. In her ten years as a student, she'd followed her dad to whichever town, he happened to be working in and in total, it came to eight different schools that she'd attended so far. Some only for a very short time, like the one where her dad was laid off after less than two months, and the worst part of it was that she'd never made any real friends in the places that she'd lived. Acquaintances for sure, and quite a lot of them, but not any of those real friends that she felt like she could share her innermost feelings with. She figured that it didn't help either, that she was an only child, still this only meant that her and her father Howard Green, the new principal at Capeside High, were a lot closer with one another than she figured that most girls her age were with their dads.

"I'm looking to you, to be a role-model to the other students. The discipline records under the old principal were appalling, to say the least and if we're going to change things in a positive direction ..." her dad began a speech, that she must have heard five times before that morning, while they were driving towards the school, she'd hopefully be attending for the rest of her high school years. Or so, she hoped, even if the somewhat negative realist inside of her said otherwise.

"You've already told me this a dozen times, dad!" Nikki interrupted her dad, who looked back at her sternly.

"We don't want a repeat of what happened the last time, now do we?" her dad asked her, referring to "the incident" that had, although it was never said in so many words, led to her father having to leave the last school, he was the principal at.

"No, dad" was all that she could think of answering him, in great part also just to not have to discuss "That Thing" with him again, for the two hundredth time, at least.

"When you get to college, you can date anyone, you want to. While you're under my wing, I expect you to concentrate on school and stay out of trouble, are we clear?" Nikki's dad ordered her, and it was probably a good thing that he couldn't see out of the corner of his eyes, that his daughter was rolling her eyes at this telling down, she was sitting through once again, for what she hoped would be the last time.

A hope that was around as faint, as her confidence in herself making any real friends at her new school was.

"Oh, Capeside High, how I've missed you! Not!" Abby unenthusiastically dead-panned, before opening her locker and letting out the unpleasant smells that had been building up inside of it for the past two months. When she did, what looked like a letter fell out of it.

"A welcome back to school present for you, perhaps?" Joey (who was still her "locker neighbor", thanks to the old senior lockers being given to the new freshmen) asked, while Abby picked the letter up. After opening it and reading the note inside of it, all she could do was shake her head at its contents, though.

"It's more like hate mail. It reads: "God does not forgive. Sinners burn in hell". Have I mentioned this morning how much that I love going to a school, where they're so incredibly welcoming of us with so-called "alternative lifestyles"?" she sardonically asked Joey, who was looking sympathetic with her.

"Rome wasn't built in a day, I'm afraid. Not do defend anyone, who doesn't deserve it, but you had to have known that being the first openly gay couple in school history was bound to rub some of the more conservative students the wrong way. This is Capeside after all, not San Francisco" Joey reflectively said, just before Jen came up to them, smiling almost from ear to ear.

"Have you heard the best news ever? Peterson has retired!" Jen shared with them, and in spite of the bad mood that Abby's hate mail had just put her in, it still brought a smile out of her and Joey as well.

"And they say that your dreams never come true!" Joey dryly quipped, making both herself and her friends giggle as a result.

"I can't believe that the vacation is almost over already! It still feels like it was five minutes ago, that they let us loose on the world at large" Abby defeatedly sighed, before they began to make their way to the school assembly in the auditorium, that would officially open the school year.

As it happened, they'd only just rounded a corner, when Jen was hit front first by a freshman boy, who was obviously goofing off with his just as immature friends. In quite spectacular fashion though, he managed to get them turned around, so that it was Jen who landed on top of him and not the other way around. In any case, the boy (who admittedly was sort of cute, in a very baby-faced sort of way) got all sorts of flustered, as Jen "climbed off him" and got back on her feet, with a helping hand from both Abby and Joey.

"I'm so incredibly sorry! You have to believe me, nothing like this has ever happened to me before!" the boy apologizingly managed to get out to Jen, while his friends were finding the whole situation kind of amusing, like it admittedly was.

"It's okay! No one got hurt, did they?" Jen calmly asked the poor boy, who looked like a giant weight had been lifted off his shoulders, just by her saying so and being this sweet about the whole thing. "Actually, it was sort of impressive, the way you flipped us around like that!"

"I took Judo lessons, when I was a kid. Some of it must have kicked in, just at the right moment. I'm Henry Parker, by the way. You are?" he asked Jen, who if Abby wasn't completely wrong, was finding his obvious innocent sweetness more than a little adorable.

"On my way over to the auditorium, like you should be too, Henry Parker" Jen smilingly answered the already lovestruck looking Henry, before the girls were on their way to doing the one thing, Abby had been dreading, ever since her summer vacation had begun, almost seven weeks earlier: Getting back to normal school-life again.

To Dawson, coming back to the hallowed halls of Capeside High was like watching a movie again, that he'd watched several times before already. He already knew going in what the first day would be like, having done it twice before and as for any surprises, he would have been shocked if his day was filled with too many of them. He already knew that Pacey would be signing up for drama club, so not even that could shock him, not that it did after his old pal had explained his reasons why. That Joey would be signing up for both the debate club and the quiz team made even more sense, seeing as it would be hard to find a more academically gifted girl in the school than her, except for perhaps Andie, who was still having trouble choosing and was driving her poor twin brother crazy with her constant questions to him, about which extra-curriculars he thought, it would be the best idea of the year for her to join. As for himself, there was really only the AV club, that he could see himself joining, but he could also easily see how it would frustrate him, when they tried to teach him about stuff, he'd already learned on his own, years before this.

"You have to meet this girl, Dawson! I'm telling you, she was created solely for the purpose, that you and she can create little Spielberg/Kubrick/Lucas/Coppola hybrids together!" Pacey excitedly told him, while they were waiting for the school assembly to kick off what would be the second to last year, the two of them would spend in school together.

"Will you let me make that decision, before you decide that it's time for us to mate? Anyway, I haven't even met this girl yet, not to mention that I don't know if I'm ready to start dating again this soon" he confided to his friend, at a low enough volume that only he could hear it.

"Look, Mary-Beth deciding to stay in Arizona sucks big-time, I get that, but you can't let it be the end of your world, when it comes to girls and dating. If you need some time, that's fine and understandable, just do me a favor and don't immediately dismiss all other girls, only because they aren't your ex, okay?" Pacey implored him, and just to keep his buddy happy, Dawson nodded like he understood what was being said and the noble intentions behind it.

Soon after, the school assembly began and in what had to be the most predictable event of that entire year, Pacey managed to make an ass of himself in front of the principal, within the first two minutes of him speaking to his new students. Even for someone with Pacey's very dubious track record, Dawson had to admit that this was pretty damn impressive!

"I've already blown it with your dad, haven't I?" Pacey asked Nikki, while they were waiting for their third class of the day to begin. So far, the day had consisted of a whole load of nothing and teachers introducing themselves, but since this was drama class and it had always been the one class, she looked forward to, there was a tiny bit of hope that it would be more to her liking.

"He's seen and met plenty of slightly dopey guys like you before, don't worry about it!" she reassured Pacey, the only one there that she could sort of call a friend and even that wouldn't have happened, if they hadn't waited half an hour for the bus together. What she had to admit too, was that she wouldn't mind going on a date with him, but at the same time she figured that a catch like him had probably been snatched up long ago, by some other and much luckier in love girl, than she herself was.

"Worse than me? That's hard to believe!" Pacey joked and once again, like he had from the first words that they'd spoken to each other, he managed to make her feel a little less like the outsider there, that she had to admit to being.

"I don't even think that you'll make his top twenty! Some of those inner-city schools that he taught at before he became a principal, can't have been a walk in the park to teach at, that's for sure" she explained to Pacey, who looked genuinely interested in what she had to say. After having gone to so many schools over the years, she'd developed a sixth sense for when someone was just paying lip-service and in his case, he clearly wasn't.

"Are you from the hood? Sorry, that came out wrong!" he quickly corrected himself, although she couldn't help herself from giggling at his question and not the least, how it was asked.

"Yeah, I'm straight out of Compton, my babysitters were the Sugarhill Gang, and my best friends were Snoop and Dr. Dre!" she lied to him, although in a way, where he knew that she wasn't being serious at all.

"The truth?" he asked her.

"The truth is that my dad has always tried his hardest to keep me away from anything, that could land me in jail or worse. My mom was killed in the crossfire of a gang shootout, when I was five, and since we moved away from Baltimore, he won't allow me to come anywhere near a big city" she explained to Pacey, who looked more than a little shocked at her revelation to him and this soon, no less.

"I'm so sorry to hear that" he solemnly told her, as she began to notice that other students in the classroom had heard too and were now paying far too much attention to her, for her own liking.

"That's exactly what I needed! To be known as the poor hoodlum girl from day one around here!", she annoyedly thought to herself, as their teacher finally made an appearance, putting an end to their little chat.

After the drama class, that had just been more of the same of what the rest of the morning had been like, it became time for lunch and being the nice guy, that he clearly was, Pacey had invited her to sit with his group of friends, that could best be described as the sort of rag-tag bunch, that sometimes manage to find one another in the mini-verse known as high school, thanks to none of them fitting in with any of the other cliques. In that way too, she began to quickly feel at home among them, even if there was this one girl (named Andie, from what she could gather) who kept bombarding her with so many questions, that it began to feel like a police interrogation and by the time Nikki's lunch break was over, her head was feeling tired and she was seriously looking forward to not having to answer a bunch of personal questions to a girl, she'd only just been introduced to.

One thing that she did find out though, was that her suspicions about Pacey being taken were spot on. Not only that, but she had to admit to liking his girlfriend, from what she could tell so far. Speaking of Pacey's girlfriend, she was exactly the one who came over to her to talk, while she was waiting for her dad to finish up for the day.

"How was your first day?" the girl, who apparently had the boyish nickname Joey, shyly asked her.

"Okay, I guess" she answered, while shrugging her shoulders. "When you've switched schools as many times, as I have, you know the drill by now. The stares, the whispers, the feeling like every little thing that you do, is being observed by everyone, while you try your best not to make anyone notice you or stick out like a sore thumb. It's always like that for the first week or so, before you start to become part of the regular scenery".

"I sort of know what you mean. When I started school, I already had my best friends with me and it was like that all the way up to the last semester before this one, where I studied in a French city called Toulouse. I was lucky enough to make a friend on my first day, but that was just as much blind luck, as anything else" Joey, in a very understanding and likable way, explained to her.

"France, huh? That must have an adventure?"

"It sure was! Listen, all I'm saying here is that it wasn't all that long ago, that I was in your shoes, so if you want to give hanging out with me and my friends a shot, you're more than welcome to. Pacey has already given you a thumbs up and if he says that you're cool, then I believe him" Joey told her in confidence. In that moment, Nikki could easily see why this girl and Pacey would have been drawn towards one another, practically from the first chance that they got to. Both of them were practically the same after all, except that one of them had breasts and one of them didn't.

"I wish that I could today, but we've just bought a new house and my dad has been bugging me, because I haven't unpacked most of my things yet. We could do something later in the week though?"

"Yeah, sure. I should get going, my sister is stopping by to pick me up. See you tomorrow, okay?" Joey cutely bade her goodbye, before heading in the direction of the school's front doors.

As they drove home, Nikki had to admit one thing, not that she minded it: That her first day at her new school, even it hadn't been close to perfect, had still been one of the best first days at a new school, she could remember experiencing so far in her life.

Abby's first day back at school hadn't been as bad, as she'd been building it up in her head, that it would be. In truth, with the exception of her rough start to the day, she had actually enjoyed herself! Now that Mr. Peterson had retired too, it meant that she wouldn't have to dread being called out by him, like ninety-nine percent of the rest of his students also did.

"You went on a date with Mr. Peterson? I can't believe my own ears!" Jen asked her grandmother in disbelief, while they were eating dinner together, the three of them. Something, Abby knew that she would quickly begin to miss, when she moved back in with Joey's family.

"It was when we were your age and long before I'd met your grandfather" Grams calmly explained. "What I found out quickly though, was that the man had the personality of a toad!"

"Still, he could have been your grandfather, Jen!" Abby teased Jen, who was covering her ears at these revelations.

"I'm just going to pretend that the last minute never happened, so I can go on with my life! It's the only way that I know how to!" Jen blurted out, only moments before there was an unexpected knock on the door.

"Are any of you expecting guests?" Grams asked, getting only shakes of heads in reply.

Being the one who was seated closest to the door, it only made sense for Abby to check who it was and when she did, she found herself face to face with Dawson's dad.

"Hi, Mr. Leery. Are you here to talk to Grams? I can get her for you, if you want it" she asked Dawson's dad, who had a serious expression on his face.

"Have you seen what was done to her car?" Mr. Leery asked her, just before Jen and Grams came out to the front door to join them.

"What do we owe the pleasure, Mitch?" Grams asked him, sounding concerned.

"I take it that you haven't seen it yet" he quietly said, before signaling for them to follow after him outside to the driveway.

When she saw what had been done, it was like every bit of rage and fear in Abby's body melted into one to create a girl, who wanted revenge and would do anything to get it.

"Who on earth would do something like this?" a shocked Jen asked, while she too was trying to take in, that something like this had happened while they were right inside, preparing and eating dinner.

On the hood, in crude black spray paint were written the words "Die, Bitch!".

Dawson had been as shocked as anyone, when his dad had informed himself and his mom of the vandalism, that had taken place right across the street from their house. Even as he was getting ready for bed, he could see the police gathering evidence from his bedroom window and it suddenly made Capeside feel like a town, that he couldn't recognize anymore. Sure, it had been a tough town to live in, back during its earliest years when those rugged pioneers living there were fighting just to survive, everyone knew that, but in general it was seen as an extremely safe place to call your home and whenever there was a true criminal that got caught, it would be the talk of the town for weeks afterwards.

While he was thinking over what all of this would mean for the future, there was a knock on his door and after he'd given the go-ahead, his mom came in.

"I've told Abby that she can sleep on our couch, if she feels like it isn't safe for her at Evelyn's house. I assumed that it was okay with you" his mom said, before sitting down on his bed next to him.

"Of course, it is. What did the police say?"

"It's still early days, but how are they going to find out, who did it, honestly? There aren't any cameras to catch the perpetrators in the act, so if no one saw it, there isn't much that they can do. Pacey's dad is taking this very seriously though, so that's something. Are you okay?" his mom asked him in that mom-like way, where he knew there would be no use in trying to lie to her.

"Just shocked, that's all. I remember a few months ago, when someone vandalized Abby's locker, thinking that the worst of it was over for her, at least. More than anything, I feel so bad for her and Melissa, that it has to be like this for them. It isn't their fault, or anyone else's, that they were born gay" he answered his mom, in the best way that he could.

"Until, whoever did this is caught, if you see anything suspicious going on over by Evelyn's house, I want you to tell us about it immediately, so we can phone the police. No matter how insignificant it might seem, is that understood?"

"Sure, mom. I should try to get some sleep, if I can" he told his mom, who soon after left him to himself.

As for getting any sleep though, it wasn't easy and all he could think about was Abby and Melissa and the fear, that both of them must have been feeling.

END OF CHAPTER SIXTY-ONE

Chapter Text

"I'm a Wrathchild!

Wrathchild!

Wrathchild!

I'm coming to get you, oh yeah!"

IRON MAIDEN (From the album "Killers" (1981))

After a pair of nights, where she'd barely managed to find rest for a second, let alone managed to fall asleep, Abby returned to Capeside High for the third school day of the year with her mind set one thing: To find out who had vandalized Jen's grandmother's car and make them pay in blood, for what they'd done! She already knew from having talked to Melissa on the phone that morning, that her girlfriend would be staying home for the day, to still deal with the shock of knowing that someone was threatening her life. A thought that probably would have filled Abby's own head as well, if it wasn't for her having a sneaking suspicion, who could have been the mastermind behind not only what was done the evening before, but also that nasty hate-mail letter, that had been dropped into her locker.

"Abby, you don't have any evidence to indicate, that Belinda was even involved in it. I get that you're angry and I am too but starting a fight with a girl based on a loose hunch isn't the way to go about this, no matter how much of a total bitch, she is! Somewhere deep within that ready to explode head of yours, I think you know that too!" Jen implored her, while she was trying to keep up with Abby, whose mind was set on finding one particular girl and nothing else, at that specific moment.

"I'm not going to beat her up, Jen. I'm just going to tear her ugly and bigoted head straight off her shoulders, before I stick it right up her fat, judgmental ass, that's all!" Abby bluntly replied, in a very exaggerated way of course, although it was the arguably the one thing, she most wanted to do.

"Before you do something that will surely land you in jail for the rest of your life, can you at least take a second or two to think about, how much this will backfire and hurt yourself?" Jen pleaded with her, and although she didn't think that anything could have, her friend's words still got a little through to Abby.

"She should still pay for what she did, Jen!"

"If she did it, like we have nothing to indicate that she did, except for some paranoid delusion that you seem to have and won't let go of! Her past speaks against her, yes, and I thought of her first too, after it happened, but if you go off the rails and physically attack her again for the second time in less than half a year and with no logical reason to, Belinda's parents could apply for a restraining order against you and once they got it, you will get expelled. Expelled, as in never allowed to come back here again! Please, for the love of everything that's good in this world, tell me that I'm getting through to you!" Jen almost cryingly asked of her, and in spite of all of the rage that Abby had been building up over the past day and a half or so, the logic of what Jen was saying still made sense to her. Enough anyway, that it made her put any plans of savagely murdering the school's head cheerleader off, for now at least.

As she'd expected it to happen though, it wouldn't be long until she was called to the principal's office, to have what was bound to be an uncomfortable chat with their new principal, Mr. Green.

"Miss Morgan, welcome. Have a seat" he told her in a welcoming voice, as they sat down across from one another, with his large desk separating them.

"You can just call me Abby, like everyone else does. Whenever someone says the words "Miss Morgan", I always naturally start to think that they're referring to my mom" she answered him, trying to start this off in as pleasant of a way as possible.

"Abby, I had a rather unpleasant talk with the chief of police, and I want you to know off the bat, that you have my biggest sympathies. It goes without saying that we'll assist them in any way that we can, but sadly, this isn't the first time that I've seen something like this, when it comes to students like yourself, who choose to be open about their homosexuality. In my experience, it takes someone to suddenly grow a guilty conscience and start talking, before the truth comes out in the open" Mr. Green began, sounding like he cared, although she didn't know his facial mannerisms well enough yet, to be able to tell for sure.

"With all due respect, Mr. Green, I didn't choose to be a lesbian, it's how I was born" she slightly snapped back at the principal, who took her reply in stride though, it should be said.

"You have my apologies and I also read your student casefile. It's one of thickest that I can remember having seen. Sad, as it is to say, most of those in my job would have taken one look at it and written you off as a lost cause. Perhaps, the reason why I'm not ready to, is because I was a bit like you once, believe it or not" he began explaining, or tried his best to, at least.

"A bullied since childhood teenage lesbian, with an alcoholic mom in jail and a deadbeat dad, who couldn't care less about her, if he tried? Somehow, I doubt it!" she smartassed answered the man, who was only trying to help her. Something, she quickly began to regret, but by then it had already been said.

"Not exactly, but I did have the debatable pleasure of being one out of only three African American students in an otherwise all-Caucasian high school and I was constantly reminded, that I wasn't like everyone else at my school. Negative experiences like those build up inside of you, that's only natural, but the key is to focus it into something positive" Mr. Green said in words that all rang true, when Abby thought back to what life had been like, since she came out in the most public way possible, in front of a classroom full of her peers.

"I always try to ignore it. It's just easier that way" she faintly replied, in what for her was a very rare moment of opening up to an adult, she didn't know personally yet.

"I could see from your file, that you've had far more than your share of anger related incidents in the past. Now, where I've met you, it isn't hard to understand why you've been feeling the need to act out. I know that it's a slightly unusual suggestion, but have you tried taking self-defense classes?"

"Do you think that I should?" she asked Mr. Green, since she had actually thought about it a time or two before.

"It could be a positive way for you to get some of that aggression out of your system, in a way where you don't involuntarily hurt yourself, thanks to the consequences of your actions. In any case, it's one of those things that it can never hurt to learn, considering what sort of world we live in. As for what has been happening these past days, I want you to know that you can come to me, if there's anyone, and I mean anyone, who tries to bully you or your girlfriend. Behavior like that is totally unacceptable in my eyes, no matter what your beliefs are, and I can assure you that I won't hold back the slightest, when it comes to handing out detention slips. I understand that Melissa has called in sick today, so if you could let her know on my behalf, that would be much appreciated. We will get to the bottom of this, Abby. I give you my word as your principal on it, and when we do, you can be sure that I won't show any more mercy to these thugs, than you would have in my shoes" the principal decisively told her, putting an end to their little one on one talk.

Nikki had hoped that her first weeks at Capeside would be a time of calm, where she could slowly get to know some of her peers, find out what the teachers were like and more than anything, carefully avoiding the topic of her being the principal's daughter. While it wasn't like she wasn't proud of her father and what he'd achieved, what she'd come to find out in time was that whenever anyone did find out, they'd start distancing themselves from her, whether consciously or subconsciously. All that she could chuck it down to was how, if she'd been in their shoes, she wouldn't have wanted her principal to know anything aside from the most needed things about her, still it didn't make it feel any fairer to her and every time she'd had to switch schools, she'd also had to start the whole process of making friends all over again. Another thing that made having close friendships a hard thing to come by, if your name was Nikki Green and you happened to be the offspring of the principal of Capeside High.

This day especially, even if they only were a few days into the schoolyear, was one where she felt like the odd one out and it didn't have anything to do with her being one of the only African American girls at her school or being the new kid there. As a result of the death threat against a pair of lesbian girls in her grade, her father had ordered a thorough search of every locker belonging to sophomores and above and while she herself didn't have anything to hide, those who did were sweating so many bullets that a nearly blind person could have picked out who they were.

"Guess, who just became the laughingstock of the school for the day, not to mention landed herself two days of detention?" an annoyed Jen quietly groaned, after she'd come back from the search of her locker. A search, that Nikki could now easily guess had yielded some kind of result. With them having study hall this period, it made perfect sense to use this time for the locker searches, plus it was only the second class of the day, giving those with something to hide less chance to cover their tracks.

"What did they find?" Joey, who had (to Nikki's luck) pretty much volunteered to make her feel at home there, asked a scowling and very annoyed looking Jen, as she slumped down in a chair across from her.

"I'll give you three clues. It's something that comes in many types and shapes, some of which run on batteries" Jen began, apparently deciding to make a guessing game out of this situation.

"I'll need more info than that, if I'm going to guess it" Joey answered her, while Nikki just nodded along in agreement.

"Two, it's a thing that many girls have, but only very rarely tell their parents about owning" Jen continued.

"Tampons?" Nikki guessed, although it wasn't a guess, that she had much hope in.

"No, but you're in the right general region of a girl's body, that it's used in!" Jen headshaking said and although, it took a few moments for Nikki to put everything together, when she did, it became a tough fight not to burst out laughing, then and there.

"It wasn't a ..." Nikki began asking, before Joey also solved Jen's little riddle and found it just as hard as Nikki had (no pun intended) to keep herself from having a laughing fit, that would have called the attention of everyone in the library towards them.

"Toy for your girl parts?" Joey finished Nikki's sentence for her, with eyes as big as saucers to match.

"They claimed that it was, and I quote, "Highly Unsanitary" of me to keep it my locker, can you believe that?" Jen exclaimed, making it clear how unfair the whole situation seemed to her.

"Why didn't you keep it hidden away in your room, like any normal masturbation loving teenage girl would have?" Joey asked Jen, bringing up a very logical question.

"Can you imagine the look on Grams' face, if she'd found it in my room or what would have been much, much worse, caught me using it for what it was made for? Of course, the policewoman just had to pull it out of my locker, right in front of Andie and her brother, who now both must think that I'm some kind of uncontrollable nympho, so thanks fate, for that incredible piece of luck!" Jen sarcastically and eye-rolling sighed, as Nikki tried her best to look sympathetic with what was the first girl from New York, she'd ever become anything close to friends with.

"How big is your ... "Girl's Best Friend"? Sorry, I know that it's none of my beeswax!" Joey asked, before quickly correcting herself. In any case, she only got roll of the eyes in return from Jen, so an answer likely wasn't coming in the immediate future.

"Sorry, Jen. If there's one thing that my dad has always been a huge fan of it, it's doing random locker searches, I'm afraid" Nikki apologized to Jen, quietly enough that only those she was currently talking to, would be able to hear it.

"It's fine, Nikki. There's no need to apologize. We had them routinely every few months or so, back at my old school. I just never pictured any situation, that would end in half of the school knowing that my "Replacement Boyfriend" needs a regular replacement of four triple A batteries to do his business, but I'll have to deal with that as it comes, I guess! Did they find anything in your lockers?" Jen asked, clearly wanting to change the subject away from one, that had just led to major embarrassment for her.

"Only the books that the school themselves have lent me over the past few days" Nikki quickly answered, just as a way to show the other girls, that she wasn't afraid to talk about things like that.

"Nothing, that I need to be ashamed of" Joey shortly replied, and her answer wasn't a surprise in any sort of way to Nikki. From what she could tell so far, Joey was the sort of girl that they would say "Had the World at Her Feet", in great part thanks to her playing by the rules and accepting, that even if the world isn't always a fair place, you still have to learn to work within the system, if you want to make it all the way to the top. Something, that Nikki had to admit to still being in the learning phase of, if you want to put it lightly.

By the end of study hall, so were the locker searches and from what Nikki was told by her dad, all that had been found in the way of "contraband" were an honestly alarming amount of porn magazines, an uninflated and punctured sex doll, an untouched apple that was so old, that it looked more like a science project than a former piece of fruit and in the two worst cases, a switchblade and a set of brass knuckles.

In any case, once in was over, Nikki felt like she could finally breathe a sigh of relief and as if, she was just like all of the other students at her school. For a handful of hours, at least.

Dawson's day had definitely been one to forget about, by the time the school day came to an end. Most of his classes were going in one ear and out the other, while his thoughts were preoccupied with dealing with the shock of what had happened over the last couple of days, while he at the same time couldn't stop thinking about Mary-Beth and wondering to himself, if she was thinking of him too. In one way, he couldn't blame her, if she felt like a fresh start was what she needed, after his infidelity had led to their relationship ending. She hadn't said so in so many words, when she'd told him over the phone, that she would be staying with her family in Arizona for at least the next year, but his sixth sense was telling him that if he hadn't messed up, then she never would have considered it.

All of this had put him in a rather down feeling sort of mood and he wouldn't even have his friends around to cheer him up that evening, with Joey and Pacey having a study date (not that each and every one of their friends didn't know what that was code for!), Jack and Andie having a family evening (with some relatives of theirs coming to visit, from what Jack had told him) and Abby and Jen suddenly getting the idea, that they should take a self-defense class down at the rec center. Something, that in their situations right now made all sorts of sense, yet for himself this gave him little to do after having done what little homework, he had been given and eating dinner with his parents.

With nothing else that came to mind, he decided to take a trip down to his former place of employment, even if it had a new name now, looked like any other chain store and whereas "Screen Time" had been known for its wide selection, you would now be lucky to find any movie there, that wasn't a hot, new movie or had been established as a mainstream hit already. There was one thing that he had to give them however, and it was the main reason why he'd already rented movies there eleven times already, since he'd returned from Philadelphia a few weeks earlier. An incredibly sexy, college-aged blonde girl with short hair, who worked behind the counter and drove the innards of both him and what he was sure were many other teenage boys in town wild, every time she scanned in a video for them and wished them a nice evening. Like everyone else at the store, she had to wear one of those "Hello, I'm ..." nametags and from what he could tell, her name was Eve.

"Need some help choosing?" a very welcome girl's voice asked him, while he was trying to choose which one of John Carpenter's movies, that he hadn't seen several times already, would serve as his entertainment for the evening.

"It's just that you've been staring at that shelf for ten minutes now" Eve continued and as her he turned his head to look at her, it was greeted with a pretty smile from a just as pretty girl.

"I guess, I was lost in my thoughts. Which movie is your favorite?" he asked Eve, who looked a little surprised at his question.

"You actually care what I think? You know, just because I work in a video store, doesn't mean that I know anything about movies!" Eve nervously replied, although the way she did it only made her more attractive. In his eyes, anyway.

"Everyone has at least one movie, that they can watch over and over again and never get tired of it. Mine is, and I know how uncool this will make me sound, even before I've said it, E.T." he confided in Eve, before she smiled to herself at his candor with her.

"Mine is "Beetlejuice". I used to daydream all the time, that I was Wynona Ryder in it, when I was younger. Have you seen it?"

"Once, when I was around ten, I think. I remember watching it my friends Joey and Pacey and Pacey thinking that it was the greatest thing, he'd ever seen by that point in his life ..."

"Pacey and Joey, as in my half little sister's friends?" Eve interrupted him, and now that she'd said it, all of a sudden, the little similarities between her and Jen became all the more obvious to him.

"You're that Eve, aren't you? I don't know why I hadn't put two and together yet, now that I know. I'm Dawson and I've been friends with both of them, for almost as long as I can remember" he introduced himself to what had to be the objectively hottest girl, who'd ever given him this much of their time. Not that the other girls in his life didn't have plenty of individual charms too, mind you, but in the looks department Eve was a perfect ten in his book, a very seldom rarity in Capeside even during the tourist season.

"I've heard Jen talk about you. She tells me that you're a nice guy" Eve just got to tell him, before her manager (a heavy-set guy in his late 40's/early 50's, with a haircut that was a definite contender for worst comb-over of the year) noticed that she wasn't working and walked over to them, looking not that pleased with his employee.

"Eve, I thought that we'd already had this talk! I don't pay you to stand around and hit on boys, no matter how cute they are in your eyes!" he told Eve off, and from the look on her face, it looked pretty clear that it wasn't the first time, where someone of the opposite sex had taken Eve's mind off work for a minute or two.

"Actually, I was only planning on renting one movie, but thanks to her recommendations, I'll be renting at least one more. She was only doing her job, nothing else, I assure you" Dawson lied to the manager, while Eve tried her best to keep a straight face.

"I'll still be keeping an eye on you!" the manager sternly told Eve, before going back to minding his own work.

When he did, Eve breathed a deep sigh of relief.

"Thanks a lot for saving my butt and my job, Dawson. It looks like I owe you one" she sweetly told him, looking and sounding like she meant it too.

"It isn't okay that he talks to you like that. Can't you find a different job around here, where they don't treat you like a glorified servant?"

"If I could, then I would have taken it days ago. You know, I get off work in less than an hour, if you feel like watching a movie together?" she "invited" him and considering both his lack of other options and the attractiveness of the girl question, it wasn't hard to say yes to her.

All of a sudden, Dawson's day was starting to look brighter by the second.

After principal Green had suggested to Abby that she should look into taking self-defense classes, it hadn't taken her long to A: Find out that there was weekly beginner's course down at their local rec center that same evening, and B: Convince Jen to come to it with herself. They'd even tried to convince Grams to come with them, but with the hard no that they'd been given, it would have been easier to persuade the most stubborn mule in the world! Grams had thought though, that it was one of Abby's better ideas and had wished them luck with it, which was how they found themselves dressed in loose fitting clothing that made it easy to maneuver, as they waited with a random bunch of around a dozen other Capesidians, who'd had the same idea. Their teacher was a guy in his thirties, whom she'd seen around town many times and if there was one thing you could say for him, it was that he looked like just about the last guy, you would want to pick a fight with. He was just about to introduce himself to the class, when one final attendee joined them. A girl, she already knew from school.

"I'm not too late, am I?" a heavy breathing Nikki asked the teacher, who (to what looked like was her relief) told her that she wasn't and could join the rest of the class.

If there was one thing that Abby had never cared about up to this moment, it was the idea of staying in shape. Her excuse (or rather the main one, since she always had a handful of them in reserve for any situation, just in case the first one didn't work with whoever, she was selling it to) was that thanks to her high body metabolism, she seemingly couldn't put on any weight, no matter what she ate or how little, she did to work off those calories. It was one of the few things that she'd inherited from her mom, that didn't have any negative undertones to it, in one way or the other, although with her small size height-wise, even she had to admit that she came off as a bit scrawny and pretty much the complete opposite, to how someone like their teacher was perceived. Jen, on the other hand, looked like a natural at it, using those few extra pounds (not that it was many, to be honest) to great effect, when she had to throw "The Attacker" off her shoulders. Nikki, if Abby had to be fair, fell somewhere in the middle, but at the same time it looked like it wasn't the first time, she'd tried something like this. One thing that you could say for her, however, was that her enthusiasm for learning this stuff was clearly at a peak.

"It looks like someone has some aggressions to work off?" Nikki teasingly asked Jen, while they were getting ready to leave after an evening, that Abby was all too sure that she'd be feeling the severely muscle aching aftereffects of in the morning.

"If you'd ever met my parents or been told about my history, when it comes to dating, then you'd know why!" Jen dryly quipped in return, drawing a rather pretty smile from Nikki in return. A smile, that suddenly sent some tingling waves shooting up through Abby's body, for reasons that she couldn't quite explain.

"It can't have been worse than my dating history. Or rather, what little there is of it" Nikki replied.

"What happened, if you don't mind me asking?" Abby asked, feeling for some reason a need to find out more about this girl, who while she was gorgeous as hell, there was no denying that, was also in essence just another girl at her school, at this point in time.

"He was nice when we started out and it took me too long to realize, that he was actually a complete scumbag. Basically, your classic teenage love story gone horribly wrong" Nikki briefly explained to them and while it shouldn't have affected her this way, Abby couldn't help feeling a ton of sympathy for her.

After they got back to Grams' house and each took a much-needed shower, Abby called up Melissa, only to find out that she'd already gone to bed but was planning on returning to school the day after. Or at least, that was what Melissa's mom told her.

What kind of a school would she have to come back to, though? And, just as importantly, why couldn't Abby get the image of Nikki's cute smile out of her head?

Usually, when Nikki had something after school, that she wanted to do, it required her to come up with a believable lie to her over-protective dad. This time though, she'd (for once) been doing something that he approved of, which was probably also why she was greeted with a smile, when she came home.

"How was the self-defense class?" he asked her, while she was still busy getting her shoes off.

"I didn't have a terrible time, if that's what you're asking. There were a pair of girls there, that I already knew from school, so that made it a lot easier to fit in than I'd feared" she explained to her old man, who in return looked glad for her.

"Potential friends, perhaps?"

"I hope so. Is there anything interesting in the fridge? This workout tonight has my belly rumbling, like you wouldn't believe" she casually asked her dad, but before she could head off to the kitchen, he blocked her path.

"Who are these girls, then? Not troublemakers, I assume?" he asked her, in a way that made it clear what he thought of some of the girls, she'd called her friends in the past.

"They don't look like it, if you ask me. Look, dad. I know that I've messed up in the past, but you have to give me the chance to fit in here and make friends, at least! Being lonely all the time wasn't good for me either, in case you don't remember" she implored her father, who looked like he was taking her words to heart, if nothing else.

"I'm only trying to keep you safe, Nikki. It's a dangerous world out there, especially for a very sensitive girl like you" he tried to explain to her, for what had to have been the ten thousandth time, since she'd become old enough to understand it. Something, that had happened more or less instantly, when her mother had brutally been taken from her in a hail of bullets.

"That's only how you see me, dad. I can be tougher than you think, I can be!" she tried convincing her dad, although all it did was get a loving smile out of him.

"I'll have to see it, before I believe it. Just make sure that these new friends of yours are real friends this time, okay?" her dad asked of her and if there was one thing that Nikki didn't mind at this moment, it was for this conversation to come to an end.

Afterwards, she went straight for their fridge, where all of the ingredients for a quickly prepared, but still tasty enough sandwich awaited her. As she sat at the kitchen table and chewed down on it, with a glass of water on the side, she began thinking back to her conversation with her dad and just as much, everything that had happened and led her to this point.

Dawson's evening had taken a turn from being just another evening, to being one that he knew he would still remember for a long time to come. As it turned out (and to his utter joy) Eve's invitation to watch a movie had come up with the added bonus of tightly spooning with her on his bed, while they watched Tim Burton's 1986 classic with Michael Keaton in one of the wildest roles, anyone had ever come up with. Not that it was where all of his attention laid though, seeing as stopping himself from getting too aroused by what this girl was doing to him, was an infinitely more pressing situation at that moment. It didn't help in any way either, that her sexy little bubble butt would rub tightly up against his junk, whenever she switched position a little. With only a few and thin layers of fabric between them, it didn't make it hard to imagine what it would be like to do this with Eve, where their shorts weren't on.

Eve, for her part, was playing it rather cool, although he couldn't help getting the suspicion that at least part of her was getting off, on what she had to know that she was doing to his love-starved innards.

"I should get home soon. Not that I haven't enjoyed your company to bits, but I don't want my dad to worry about me, plus I've borrowed his car, so ..." Eve began saying, right after the movie was over and as she laid on her back on his bed, looking him as deeply in the eyes, as he was with her.

"It was my pleasure, even if I'll have to answer about a hundred questions tomorrow morning from my mom, about who the pretty girl, I had over here last night was!" he joked to Eve, who let out an adorable sounding giggle.

"Do you really think that I'm pretty?" she asked him, and before he knew what he was happening, what had been an intimate moment had suddenly been turned into more, when they shared a long and passionate kiss. Right after it was over, and while he was still trying to comprehend what had just happened, she got up off his bed and made her way to his bedroom door.

"Thanks, Dawson. For turning what had been a really bad day into one, that didn't suck nearly as much by the end of it" she flirtingly told him, before blowing him a kiss and leaving him to each and all of those dirty thoughts, she'd just put into his head.

END OF CHAPTER SIXTY-TWO

Chapter Text

"Thinking of you is working up my appetite

Looking forward to a little afternoon delight

Rubbing sticks and stones together makes the sparks ignite

And the thought of loving you is getting so exciting

Skyrockets in flight

Afternoon delight"

STARLAND VOCAL BAND (Single from 1976)

To Pacey, the first week of being back at school already had him wishing that his next vacation would come soon, with one small exception. As he'd quickly found out, acting was something that came naturally to him and he'd actually begun to look forward to when the rehearsal days for their upcoming production of the romantic comedy "Barefoot in the Park" began, even if one thing did worry him a little. Nikki, who'd been chosen as director of the play (probably on orders from her dad) had him in mind for the leading role of the slightly neurotic Paul, while she was considering Jen to be the frontrunner for the role of his fun-loving wife Corie, who's trying to get her far too uptight husband to loosen up, or as the title of the play says, "Run barefoot in the park".

"You know that we'll have to kiss one another on the lips, if we get the leading roles, don't you?" he asked Jen seriously, as they were making their way to the auditorium for the final round of auditions.

"It's just acting, Pacey. Joey knows that you won't really be cheating on her with me" Jen reasoned, as they rounded a corner. When they did, they saw what looked like one of the new freshmen, who clearly was having trouble keeping his hopeful eyes off his female companion.

"It looks like someone has a crush on you!" he teasingly whispered to Jen, who smiled back at the freshman boy, that looked all kinds of glad to get just that tiny bit of attention from the girl of his dreams.

"He's very cute, but he's also a freshman" Jen answered him, after they'd walked far enough away from the boy, that he wouldn't be able to hear her.

"So? My grandparents on my mom's side are almost ten years apart, and no one's ever bothered them about it, from what I know".

"I'm also guessing that it was a long time ago, that they found each other. Look, I don't like it more than you do, but the unwritten rules of high school say that it's fine for a girl to date someone older than her, but if she tries to date someone younger, she'll instantly get made fun of by the other girls. Does it suck that it's that way, yes! Is it completely unfair on Henry too, that we can't be together for what are totally stupid reasons, that he has absolutely nothing to do with, hell yes! But things are how they are and I can't change the world on my own, now can I?" she told him, in a way that spoke volumes of what she thought of the unwritten code of being a teenager, that all of them had to live with, if they liked it or not.

"His name is Henry, huh? Am I detecting a hint of a crush here, Lindley?" he slyly asked Jen, who looked back at him, like he was suggesting something that just couldn't be true, no matter how you looked at it.

"No, not at all! I'm just saying that ..."

"Jen and Henry, sitting in a tree ..." he teasingly began singing, not to Jen's amusement, it should be added.

"Bite me, Pacey!" Jen sharply answered him, bringing an end to their little chat, just as they entered the auditorium, where their respective fates awaited them.

Jen's reasons for signing up for the drama club, were two-fold. Mostly, it was just to have something to do with her time, while her friends were off in their own respective clubs. Even Abby, who usually shunned everything that had to do with extra time spent at their school, had signed up for the debate team and with neither of them having a new after-school job on the horizon, it only made sense to try something new and try challenging herself for once, instead of just going through the motions, like she had to admit to doing most of the time. The other reason was simpler and had everything to do with her troubles, when it came to finding a boyfriend. In short, she was starting to get sick and tired of always feeling like the one, who never had the tiniest bit of luck in love and a few days before the new school year had begun, she'd made a pledge to herself that this would be the year, where Jen Lindley went from being the hopelessly single girl, that she'd never wanted to be in the first place, to one of the girls that the other girls at school would be jealous of, when they saw her walking the hallways of Capeside High with a boyfriend, who loved her back as much, as she loved him. Of course, this also meant that she would have to start opening herself up to guys, who weren't in her immediate social circle and with the number of hunks that they always seemed to have on their stage crew, she figured that there had to be one of them that wasn't too much of a hopeless case.

After the final auditions, she'd left the school with a gut feeling that the role of Corie would be hers, even if there were a couple of other girls, who were still in the running too. She'd almost made it all the way down to the Ice House however, before she realized that she'd forgotten to bring home one of the books, she needed to do her homework. With there being no other way around it, she groaned in annoyance, as she made her way back to the place, she'd just come from. One thing that she hadn't expected though, was to hear the sound of someone playing an acoustic guitar, coming from inside of the music classroom. With her curiosity once again getting the better of her, she just had to see who it could be that was strumming those strings and as she got closer, she could also hear some very quiet singing, from what sounded like it was a boy. Peering in through the door window, she saw that it was Henry, the very innocent freshman, who was also the only one in his grade, that she could claim to know just a little bit. The song that he was singing was one that she knew too and as she stood out in the hallway listening to him, without him knowing that she was there, she mouthed along to the lyrics, that he (beautifully) sang.

"We busted out of class, had to get away from those fools. We learned more from a three-minute record, baby, than we ever learned in school" Henry sang the words to Bruce Springsteen's immortal classic "No Surrender" to himself, and as he did, she found herself imagining what it would be like, if she simply said to hell with what everyone else would think and went for broke with this sweet young man, whom she imagined had to have the soul of a poet, that was just waiting to come out in the open, where it could be truly appreciated, as it should be. Perhaps, it was the way that her summer flirt with Ricky had gone nowhere and it coming right off the back of her finding out that her previous boyfriend preferred other boys, that made her suddenly feel all kinds of emotional, but in any case, she decided to enter the room and when he saw her, Henry both stopped playing and looked a little flustered, as they made eye contact across the room.

"Don't stop playing, just because I'm in here. That song, you were singing, always reminds me of home, when I hear it. In a nice way too, believe it or not" she smilingly told Henry, who looked both relieved and glad, at the same time.

"My parents don't want me to play my guitar at home, so I asked the principal if it was fine that I come in here every day after school, to play it for an hour or two. Or, as my dad calls it "That damn guitar". Do you really think, I sound good?" Henry nervously asked, which only made her like him a little bit more, like it seemingly happened every time, she'd just made eye contact with him. Truth be told, if he'd only been a year older than he was, then this would certainly be around the time where she would start testing the waters for going on a date with him.

"I think that Bruce himself would have told you that you're doing his song justice, if he was here" she flatteringly said to Henry, who in turn looked like it was the best compliment, he'd been given in his life up to that point.

"Thanks. If there's a song that you want me to play for you, I can tell you if I know how to play it" Henry offered and with that began an hour or so, where all she did was watch him sing and play, while daydreaming about what it could have been like to be loved by someone like him, who would never dream of doing anything to hurt her and would probably worship the very ground, she walked on.

Afterwards, they said their goodbyes and with that also came an invitation from Henry, to meet him in the same place the day after, once school was over for the day.

An invitation that she already knew from moment one, she would be taking him up on.

"Jen, you know that I hate to say it, but what you say and what you do, when it comes to Henry, are two completely opposite things" Joey brutally honestly told Jen, who was helping her with packing down her things and after she'd just been informed of the very romantic sounding afternoon, her friend had just spent with a boy, she strongly claimed not to have any sort of "lubby-duppy" feelings for.

"Is it so wrong of me to enjoy being adored by someone like him? In case, you haven't noticed, stuff like this doesn't happen for me every day, or even every year!" Jen pleaded her case and in a rather convincing way too, if Joey had to be honest.

"And you're not doing anything to lead him on, you say? It isn't what I'm hearing!" she teasingly said to Jen, while filling up a sports bag with clothing, that she'd long since grown out of and they'd already decided should be given to goodwill.

"He's just so adorable, that I can't help myself! It's like having the cutest dog in the world, sitting on your lap and begging you with it's eyes to play with it. Unless, you have a heart of stone, it's nearly impossible to not want to make it happy with you".

"Now, he's a dog?"

"Only in the best ways. Anyway, it doesn't matter, because I'm not going to date a freshman, period!" Jen, rather unconvincingly, stated.

Joey only smiled to herself at Jen's claims and thought to herself that it probably wouldn't be too long, before she had Jen in front of herself again, only this time to announce that she'd gotten over her hang-ups and decided to give a relationship with her freshman admirer a shot, after all. The teasing from the other girls be damned.

In any case, this wasn't the day or time to deal with such things, seeing as Joey's family were less than a week away from moving into their new house, a four-bedroom house only a few hundred yards from her school, where herself, Bessie, Bodie, Alexander and Abby would be living, while her father would continue to live in their old house and serve as caretaker. This was yet another great reason to move, because no matter how hard both of them had tried, it had become clear that her father and Bodie living together would never sit well with either of them. Not to mention that their new home had enough room for Abby too, and if there was one thing that none of them were in any doubt about, it was that little Alexander couldn't wait to have his much-beloved "Bonus Sister" living with them again.

After Jen had headed home and they'd eaten dinner together as a family (another nice part of not owning the Ice House anymore), it fell onto Joey to do the dishes, with a bit of unexpected help from Bessie, who now that she wasn't stressed out at work anymore, had been so pleasant to be around lately that they hadn't heard her raise her voice a single time in weeks.

"How was school today?" Bessie asked her in that way, where Joey could tell that she wanted to ask her something else, only she was nervous to and had to build up to it.

"Pretty good, I guess. You know, I think being on debate team will really agree with me" she answered her sister, who couldn't help herself from chuckling to herself.

"No surprise there!" Bessie quipped and although, her saying so didn't annoy Joey too much, she still threw her sister a pout for good measure. "Come on, Joey! Let's be real here. If there is anyone that I know, who's always been able to appreciate the value of a good bit of arguing, it's you!"

"What about you? Don't you get bored here at home by yourself?" she asked Bessie, who was spending those days replacing the old worn-out wallpaper on their walls, to make it seem less like a house, that practically no money had been put into for years, hence leading to its current state of disrepair. With their new B&B opening in less than two weeks (if everything went according to plan), there wasn't much time either, if they were going to welcome the first guests in by then.

"I have Alexander here with me. Speaking of your nephew ..." Bessie began a sentence, that she didn't know how to finish.

"He's fine, isn't he?"

"Oh, yeah! As long as he's fed and feeling loved, he's perfectly fine and dandy, like he always is, it isn't that! It's just that ... why haven't you told me about the threats against Abby and her girlfriend?" Bessie inquired and Joey could see from the look of her face, that this worried her quite a bit.

"Didn't I? I'm sure that I did!"

"Not to me, you didn't. I get why Abby wouldn't want to talk about it, more than she absolutely has to. If you ask me, I'd say that's just a natural reaction that anyone would have, in a situation like hers. Plus, I'm guessing that the police have implored her to keep her cards close, just in case that the wrong person could overhear it".

"What are you getting at?"

"Look, you know that we all love Abby to bits, and we'd love to have her living with us again and that it has nothing to do with her having a girlfriend, instead of a boyfriend, it's just that right now ..."

"You don't think it would be safe for us, is that it?" Joey finished her sister's sentence for her and in return, got a sympathetic look from her older sibling.

"I hate to lay this on you, but we have a baby in the house and his safety has to come first, no matter what. Can you tell Abby that we can't have her moving in, before this whole situation has been resolved?" Bessie asked of her and with there being little in the way of other choices, all Joey could do was nod and accept this entirely ungrateful task, she'd just taken on.

Back when they were kids, Pacey and Dawson would hold movie nights at least three times a week, usually with Joey there to bicker with him and get his blood boiling just enough, that it was still highly amusing to him. Those days were long gone though, now that himself and Joey had traded their bickering ways in for a relationship and as a consequence, his and Dawson's movie nights had also become fever and further between. This evening however, they were having a "Blast from the Past" themed evening, with them watching "Blazing Saddles" first (and enjoying every moment of its blatant lack of political correctness, that even at this time wouldn't have flown at all!), followed by them watching the early 90's romantic comedy "Singles", which also just happened to be the first of its kind, that Pacey could remember having enjoyed so much, that he wanted to watch it again someday. That day had never come until now, and as he watched it, he couldn't help making comparisons between his friends and the characters in the movie, that almost became as synonymous with the Grunge movement, as Nirvana's albums had been, back in the time it was set in.

The character he had to admit being most like was Cliff, the long-haired Wanna-Be rock star played by Matt Dillon, who's rather clueless in his attempts at being a good boyfriend to his on/off girlfriend Janet, the whimsical and very charming girl, who's still finding out who she's meant to become, played wonderfully by Bridget Fonda, a few years before she decided that the world of Hollywood simply wasn't for her. The one scene that he could remember having laughed at the most, was where Cliff tries to win Janet back by installing a new stereo system in her car (with rather hilarious and unexpected consequences!) and seeing it again had him laughing just as hard, as it did the first time, he saw it, around five or six years before this.

"Whatever you do, Pacey, try not to learn from Cliff, when it comes to winning an ex-girlfriend back!" Dawson joked, as they watched Matt Dillon on screen making a sorry face to Bridget Fonda, after his character had just mistakenly blown out all of the windows in her character's car simultaneously.

"Mental note hereby made!" Pacey quipped back, as they shared a dry laugh.

"Not that Joey would ever dump you anyway, unless you did something really bad, like cheat on her".

"I hope so, anyway. What about yourself and the lack of action on the romantic front, since your ex skipped town on you? Sorry, that wasn't ..."

"It's okay, Pace. I've done enough blaming of myself, to last me a lifetime already, over how me and Mary-Beth ended. That's one mistake, I'm never making again!"

"Are you feeling ready to get back into the dating pool?" he asked Dawson, who just smiled knowingly to himself in a rather unmistakable way. "Okay, who is she and why haven't I heard about it before now?"

"You know Jen's half-sister Eve, right?" was all that Dawson had to say, for Pacey to be able to easily piece a scenario together in his head, that involved his oldest buddy being seduced by a certain blonde-haired temptress, that it would be hard for any red-blooded teenage boy to say no to.

"How long has this being going on?"

"There isn't really anything going on yet, as far as her being my girlfriend or anything like that. We've just been ... relieving each other's loneliness, you could say".

"And how exactly, have you been doing this?"

"She comes over to visit me after work sometimes, when she's got a bad case of that sweet itch, as they call it" Dawson confided in him.

"Lucky you, having a friend with benefits like that! Do you think it could develop into more?"

"It could, if we wanted it to. She's damn hard to say no to though, I can tell you that much!" Dawson stated, not that Pacey hadn't tried on his own, how difficult it was. Truth be told, if he hadn't been with Joey, then he would have jumped right into it with Eve and it could easily have been himself, who was now in Dawson's shoes.

Following the end of the movie, he headed home instantly on his bike, seeing as it was getting late and he had less than eight hours, before he had to get up the day after. As he rode up to his mom's house, he could see that the light in the living room was on, no doubt thanks to Gretchen burning the midnight oil in front of the TV, as she so often did.

"Regressing, are we?" he teased his highly pregnant older sister, when he saw that the movie she was watching was "Pee-Wee's Big Adventure", a huge favorite of his own from his childhood.

"I felt like watching something uncomplicated, and it just happened to be coming on. Nick called me, while you were over at Dawson's. My ex-roommate gave him our number" she informed him, referring to her lousy, piece of filth ex-boyfriend that had left her high and dry, after she'd told him about the pregnancy.

"Did you tell his sorry ass to go to hell, like any rationally thinking girl would?" he bluntly asked his sister, making no secret of what he thought of guys, who would do such a thing to a girl.

"He wants to try being a father to his unborn kid, after all. I couldn't tell him over the phone that I haven't decided yet, if I'm planning on keeping it or not".

"Do you want him to be a part of your life again?" he asked Gretchen, who needed a few moments to think about it, before she could give him an answer.

"I'd like it if we could at least get a better ending to our relationship, than we had. Him yelling "You have to be kidding me, Gretchen" and me spending hours afterwards crying over it isn't how you want any romantic relationship to end, now is it?" she told him, only moments before they both had to laugh at Pee-Wee's childish antics, that so many untold millions of kids around the world loved him so much for, before that infamous indecent exposure incident changed many people's perception of him.

"Does he still live in Boston?" he asked his sister, after an idea had suddenly popped into his head.

"If he's moved away, I'm sure he would have told me about it, when we spoke tonight. Why?"

"We could take a drive up there this weekend, if you're up for it. And, before you ask, yes, I can stop myself from wanting to punch his lights out, if you don't want me to!"

Gretchen took a handful of minutes to consider it, before she decided to go with his suggestion. Now, the only question was if he could actually live up to his word, that he'd just given her.

Having the occasional dirty dream was nothing new to Jen and more than a few times, she'd woken up with panties so wet that the first thing she did, was to change into a freshly washed pair of them. The dream that she had that night was something different though, a far too overly romantic fantasy of herself with Henry, that was like something out of a cheesy Barbara Cartland novel, written for the lonely housewives of the world, whose husbands weren't close to the sort of dreamboats, old Barbara liked to write about.

Perhaps, this was also why she couldn't stop smiling all morning, as the nice memories of it kept sending small waves of romantic joy, shooting up through her entire body. Something, that Joey obviously quickly picked up on, from the moment they saw one another.

"No feelings for him at all, you say?" she quietly and teasingly asked Jen, making sure not to speak the boy in question's name, when others could hear it. "That isn't what it looks like to me!"

"Okay, so I might have some very, very tiny conflicting emotions here! I'll give you that much!" Jen (sort of) conceded, although from what she could tell, it only served to make Joey even more sure that it wouldn't be long, until her one friend from New York had to give in to those so-called "Conflicting Emotions". Something, that even Jen herself now was ready to concede wasn't all that unlikely.

After school was over, she went right to the music room, where what she now had to call her crush (even if she wouldn't tell anyone about it) was waiting for her with his acoustic guitar already in his hands.

"I wasn't sure if you'd actually show up" he greeted her with, as they shared a knowing smile with one another.

"And miss out on the highlight of my day? Don't you know me better than that already?" she half-jokingly asked Henry, seeing as this in all likelihood would be the best part of her day.

"I'm still guessing that you haven't told your friends about us, have you?"

"One of them sort of knows. Look, Henry ..."

"Can I say something first?" he interrupted her and got a nod in reply. "Jen, I know that I'm still getting used to being in high school and it hasn't escaped my eyes, that you never see an older girl dating a younger boy here. I guess, what I'm trying to say is that you don't need to worry about me telling anyone, that we sometimes hang out together, that's all" Henry sweetly told her, before he began playing and singing another Springsteen classic for her personal enjoyment, this time one of his most romantic songs, that she'd only heard once or twice before, from what she could remember. With every word that came out of his mouth though, she found herself dreaming herself back to a time, when if someone like Henry had wanted her affections, then she would have given them to him instantly, or close to it.

"I've got no time for the corner boys

Down in the street making all that noise

Or the girls out on the avenue

'Cause tonight, I wanna be with you

Tonight, I'm gonna take that ride

Across the river to the Jersey side

Take my baby to the carnival

And I'll take her on all the rides

'Cause down the shore everything's alright

You and your baby on a Saturday night

You know all my dreams come true

When I'm walking down the street with you

Sha la la la la la la

Sha la la la la la la la la

Sha la la la la la la la

Sha la la la, I'm in love with a Jersey girl"

By the time Henry played the last chord to the song, Jen was sure of one thing, if she was sure of anything: That whether she wanted to admit it or not, this had to be by far the biggest crush, she'd ever had on anyone! Freshmen or otherwise.

Luckily for Joey, and probably because Abby knew that Grams wouldn't throw her out on the streets, her rather short-stemmed friend took the news in stride and told her to tell Bessie and Bodie, that there weren't any hard feelings on her part. With the worst part of her day then out of the way, all she had left to do was to look forward to the date night, her and Pacey had planned for that evening. Not that it would anything too out of the ordinary for them, but with her beloved heading to Boston for the weekend with his sister, she'd have to take advantage of every little bit of time, she got to spend alone with him until then.

On her way to leaving the school though, after she'd just had "practice" with the quiz team, she felt a pressing feeling coming from her bladder, that she couldn't put off for much longer, which was why she made her way to the little girl's room, where a way to relieve herself awaited her. As she sat there on the toilet seat though and had just finished wiping herself off "down there", she heard the door open and immediately heard the voice of an extremely irritating girl, she'd been trying for most of her life to avoid, as much as possible.

"Can you believe that bitch Ms. Foxworthy ratted on me to the principal, for that little?" she heard Belinda tell one of her several "followers", whose voice she didn't immediately recognize. In any case, she didn't want to have to face either of them, which was why she pulled her legs up and put them on the front of the toilet seat, so they (hopefully) wouldn't notice that she was in there.

"All you did was tell the truth to that fat girl. If she can't take it, that's her problem" Belinda's crony agreed with her, probably in some kind of attempt at scoring some cool points with the school's head cheerleader.

"I know! It isn't my fault that she stuffed her face with cake and potato chips, when she should have been working off some of those unwanted pounds, is it?" Belinda asked her friend and like she had so many times before, all Joey could do was roll her eyes at how incredibly unlikable, it was possible for one girl to be. Yet another reason, why she avoided what most of the other girls at her school called "The Wicked Witch of the East", anytime that she could.

"It's so unfair!" Belinda's friend, whose voice Joey still didn't recognize, agreed with her "master".

"I can't wait until I graduate! At least, I have a date with Chris tonight, so that's something" Belinda said, providing Joey with a piece of information, she couldn't possibly have cared less about. At least, until she heard what came out of Belinda's mouth next.

"Did he tell you if the cops know anything?" the other girl asked Belinda and for once, Joey became the tiniest bit interested in not just the worst girl, but also the worst human being, she'd ever met!

"They haven't turned up at his parents' door to ask him anything, from what he tells me. I told him that it was dumb and they'd start thinking of me first, but would that dumb-ass listen? No, he had to be a guy and think with his dick and balls instead of his brain, just like he usually does! Believe me, I'd dump his worthless butt in a second, if he didn't have something on me, that I can't have getting out. Sometimes, and I can't believe I'm saying it, but sometimes I can't help thinking that Abby and Melissa got it right on the money, when they gave up on his entire sorry gender altogether!" an annoyed Belinda told her friend, who was busy having a pee of her own, thankfully a handful of stalls closer to the door, than the one Joey was "hiding" in.

Thankfully, they soon left her alone in there. Still, as she stood by the sink, washing her hands, the words that Belinda just said kept running through her head.

Could this have anything to do with what was done to Grams' car? Even if Belinda hadn't said so in so many words, it was still the closest thing they had to a clue to go by so far.

END OF CHAPTER SIXTY-THREE

Chapter Text

"You can look, but you better not touch

Mess around and you'll end up in Dutch

You can look, but you better not

No, you better not

No, you better not touch!"

BRUCE SPRINGSTEEN AND THE E STREET BAND (From the album "The River" (1980))

When Jen woke up on this Saturday morning in late August 1999, it was with a for her unusual feeling. The night before, she'd had yet another ultra-romantic dream about herself with Henry, spoiling one another like lovers do, that still several minutes after she'd sprung to life was sending butterflies flying through her belly, like she hadn't experienced it since she was thirteen and she'd had her first crush, on a boy from her school that she predictably got absolutely nowhere with. Even if she now considered herself to be well-versed in the ways of dating, the much shyer early teen version of herself had been far too nervous to tell him anything about her feelings for him. Just to make it worse, he'd fallen for a girl that she couldn't stand, and she'd had to watch her at school five days a week, doing all the things with him that she wanted to do with him. Now, three years and over a dozen of unlucky crushes later, she finally had a boy in her life, who she was crazy about and felt the same way back about her and it should have been perfect, only it wasn't. She knew that she shouldn't, and part of her was a little angry with herself that she cared so much what a bunch of girls that she'd most likely never see again after high school was over, would think of her and send her demeaning looks, every time they saw her and Henry holding hands or kissing, but in the end, it was the only thing holding her back anymore.

Would it actually be that way though, or was this just her old paranoia rearing its ugly head again? In truth, she wouldn't know until she'd tried it, since there wasn't a single other couple at Capeside High, where the female part of it was older than the male part by more than a handful of months. At least, from what she knew. One thing was for sure though, that what they didn't know couldn't hurt them (yet, at least) and as she laid on her soft mattress and pictured what it would be like to have Henry kissing her and touching her in those naughty places, that he'd probably never touched a girl in before, she let a hand slip down the front of her panties and imagined, that she had him to do it for her, so she wouldn't have to always do it herself, whenever her primal urges starting taking over her mind. Yet another thing that, in spite of how well she knew her own body and what made her tick, had been sadly missing from her life, ever since she'd had her last "real" boyfriend (she couldn't count Jack as one now, with how it had ended and the revelations that had come out at their prom a few months earlier) back in NYC. Of course, that guy (who she'd all but gladly forgotten about), had been a horn dog who only cared about what was down between her legs and Henry was the diametric opposite of that.

After she'd spent a good half hour "playing" with her private parts, it became time for the day to begin in earnest and as she sat there, eating a hearty breakfast with Grams and Abby, there was a knock on their door. Thinking to herself that it was probably just one of Grams' church group members coming to deliver a message for her dear grandmother, she offered to check who it was and when she saw, a smile so wide that it had to have stretched across her entire face fell across it.

"I didn't know if you were up yet, but I just had to see you" a very nervous Henry told her, even if her inviting smile had brought one of his own on.

"Why?" she asked him, not that it wasn't easy to guess.

"I ... I shouldn't have come over here. I'm so sorry!" Henry quickly began to quake and began to walk away from her, before she stopped him.

"I'm really glad that you did! Actually, I was just thinking about you" she told him, not letting him know what she'd been doing while she was thinking about him, of course.

"You were?" Henry asked, like it was almost unthinkable that a girl like her could like a boy like him.

"Yeah. I was bummed out that we wouldn't get to hang out today" she told what had to be the happiest looking freshman boy in America, at that particular moment.

"I don't have any plans today, if you want to hang out. If you don't though, that's okay too" Henry told her so sweetly, that it took a mountain of willpower within her not to tell that shy and adorable boy then and there, that she'd fallen for him ten times worse than she'd ever fallen for someone before. At least!

"Just give me fifteen minutes to finish my breakfast and take a shower, okay?" she told Henry, whose pretty mug full of anticipation told her that it was probably the most welcome thing, anyone could have said to him in that moment.

And, with that, Jen's Saturday was suddenly looking a lot brighter, and it didn't have anything to do with the sun, that was doing its part to help as well.

At the same exact time as Jen was living out her love-struck feelings for Henry, Pacey was driving his sister over to Boston in his mom's car, where an uncomfortable conversation was sure to await her with the father of her unborn child. In many ways too, this was the final hurdle out of the way for her, before the baby came and she would have to make the final decision on whether to keep it or not. They didn't talk much on the way and he could tell from Gretchen's demeanor that she was mulling over how and what to tell her ex, so they stuck to listening to the cassette tapes, they'd brought with them for the trip.

"Son, she said. Have I got a little story for you. What you thought was your daddy, was nothing but a. While you were sitting home alone at age thirteen, your real daddy was dying. Sorry, you didn't see him, but I'm glad we talked" Eddie Vedder sang on one of the songs on their first chosen tape, a mix of rock songs from when his sister had been around his age, and as he sat there listening, while keeping his eyes on the road, he wondered if the child growing inside of her belly was a tiny boy, who would become his nephew, should she decide to raise her as her own. Something, he selfishly hoped that she would, although he was also resigned to it being her choice and only her choice, when push came to shove.

As they hit the outskirts of the city, where the American revolution had begun over two hundred years earlier, Gretchen began twitching in her seat, like being back there was bringing up memories best left forgotten.

"I won't look down on you, if this is too tough for you" he told Gretchen, in the most understanding way that he could, after they hadn't talked for what had to be half an hour, at the least.

"I have to do this, Pacey. I owe Nick that much" she answered him, bringing up a name that whenever spoken, instantly made a tiny bit of bile rise up in his throat.

"You really think so? If you ask me, that dirt-bag gave up every right that he had, when he walked out on you".

"Nick isn't a dirt-bag, not really. If I'd only been open with him from the start, we wouldn't be in this huge mess, we're in now" she said, making him bat an eye at her words.

"Weren't you?" he had to ask, since this was brand-new news to him.

"There's one part of it, that I haven't told anyone back home. You have to understand that after he broke up with me, I started to go into a panic pretty much instantly and ... I made a big mistake, the kind of which you regret instantly, but by then, it was already too late to do anything about it" Gretchen told him so quietly, that he almost couldn't make it out.

"What kind of mistake?" he asked back, even if part of him didn't want to know.

"The kind, that usually takes place in a bedroom. Just to make it worse, it was with one of his best friends" Gretchen confided in him, before she shed a few tears, that she quickly wiped away from her eyes.

"If it was after you'd broken up ..."

"How would you feel if it was you that got Joey pregnant, only to see her running right into Dawson's arms for comfort afterwards?" she asked him, bringing back some of the paranoid thoughts he had in the very start of his relationship with Joey, when he deep down still wasn't sure that she wouldn't trade him in for his best friend, should she have been given the chance.

"It would have been my worst nightmare come true" he admitted to Gretchen, just as they pulled onto the turnpike that would take them to Nick's apartment, after what hopefully hadn't been too much trouble with getting through the heavy traffic in a city, he'd never driven in before. Not that he'd ever driven a car in any city, mind you.

Joey's Saturday was almost embarrassingly open, now that she didn't have a job to go to and her boyfriend was off helping his sister for the day. With nothing else to spend her time on, apart from hanging out around the house, where Bodie and her dad were having one of those bad days, where they refused to speak more than a few words to one another, she made her way to the police station downtown. Of course, she couldn't say or act like what she'd overheard Belinda tell her friend was solid evidence, when it came to who had written those nasty words on Jen grandmother's car, but if it could help the police in their investigation, then it would definitely be worth her time.

As she walked in, the first one she saw was Pacey's brother Doug, whom it looked like was filling in at the front desk for the day.

"If it isn't my favorite sister-in-law? Of course, you are also the only one that I have!" Doug joked, when she walked up to his desk, and they made eye contact.

"I'll take that as a very mediocre compliment!" she quipped back at him, before it was time to get down to business. "Is you dad here? I have some information, I need to share with him, that could be important".

"What kind of information?" Doug asked her, quite logically.

"It's about the threats against Abby and her girlfriend. I overheard some stuff at school ..."

"Wait here. I'll get him right away" Doug bit her off, and less than a minute later she was in Pacey's dad's office with Doug and him as the only other ones in there.

"What exactly did you overhear and from who?" John Witter asked her, sounding like she had his full attention.

"I was in a stall in the girl's room, when a girl named Belinda McGovern came in with one of her friends" she began, not quite knowing how to say this in the way, that she wanted to. "Anyway, I heard Belinda's friend asking her if the cops had asked her boyfriend any questions".

"And her boyfriend is ...?" Doug asked.

"Chris Wolfe, a boy we go to school with. It sounded like they'd done something illegal together, that Belinda hadn't wanted him to, and she was all kinds of mad at him over it" she continued explaining, even if she felt sort of clunky, for how it was all coming out of her mouth.

"Like what?" John Witter asked, but all she could offer him was a shake of her head.

"She didn't say exactly, but she said that she would have been the first one they thought of. Abby and Belinda have a rivalry going back to their playground days, I can testify to that myself. While I was over in France, she was also the one who forced Abby out of the closet, only it backfired on her, and it made her lose the election for student body president as a result" Joey continued explaining.

"Do you think it would be enough to make her do something like was done to Mrs. Ryan's car?" Doug asked and she gave him a small nod as her reply.

"I wouldn't put it against her, in any sort of way. You have to understand that Abby humiliated her, when she showed her up, like no one has before or since. To a girl like Belinda, who's always had her way, that had to be a tough pill to swallow".

"And this Chris Wolfe, how does he fit into the situation?" John asked her.

"He was after Mrs. Ryan's granddaughter Jen all last year long, but she chose another guy over him" Joey answered, as Doug and John shared a knowing look.

"Is he the jealous type?" Doug asked solemnly.

"I don't know him all that well, if I have to be honest. He is a jock though, and we all know how much their reputations mean to them" she tried explaining to them.

"It sure sounds to me like we have our motives for the crime. Should I pay those two rambunctious teens a visit and see, what I can get out of them?" Doug asked his dad, who took a moment or two to consider it.

"Sure, if you can locate them. It is Saturday, after all. Thanks for coming down here and telling us this, Joey. It isn't hard to see why my youngest adores you, like he does" John told her with a small smile, now that their little talk was over.

Afterwards, she had to admit to feeling pretty damn good about herself, leaving only the problem of what to do for the rest of the day. Still, it was the sort of problem, she could live with having.

Jen was having a day for the ages, or at least for her, it was. After they'd left her grandmother's house (and being subjected to lots of teasing from Abby, who kept calling Henry Jen's new boyfriend), they'd taken a romantic walk down to the pier, where they'd rented a rowboat for the day. Luckily, no one from school had seem them together, or she might have become self-conscious about it, leaving her with little else to do, apart from enjoy this day for all it was worth.

"Have you ever kissed a girl before, Henry?" she flirtingly asked him, when they were far enough from the shore, that not a soul was in sight around them, save for the fish and the birds, who couldn't care less about them.

"Not yet" he shyly answered her, like he was almost ashamed of it. "I wanted to find the right girl first, before I tried it".

"Have you found her?" she asked, as they looked each other deep in the eyes.

"I'd like to think so. You are aware that it's you, I hope!" he nervously got out, making her giggle a little.

"I was sort of getting that feeling, yes! Well, do you want to try it?" she fumblingly asked him, like she was thirteen again and full of hope, that the first majorly romantic moment of her life was only moments away.

"Only, if you want to" Henry cutely replied, before she moved over to sit next to him, and they put an arm around the waist of one another. Strangely enough, since this was far from her first kiss, she started feeling goosebumps on her arms, as their lips slowly began approaching one another.

When they met however, it felt natural to her, like all of those other kisses, she'd shared with boys in the past, hadn't meant anything compared to this one.

"Wow! I know that I have absolutely nothing to compare it to, but ... just wow!" Henry adorably said, right after their kiss had come to an all too soon ending. As far as Jen was concerned, anyway.

"Allow me to second that wow! Do you want to try it again, only this time with our mouths open? That's what they call a French kiss, if you didn't know" she informed Henry, who was clearly still on cloud nine, after their first kiss. Not that Jen herself wasn't either, it should be added!

"I'm just afraid that I won't be any good at it" Henry answered. "I mean, it isn't like I've tried it before".

"Just do what I do, okay?" she cutely said to him, and it wouldn't be many moments later, before their tongues were playfully swirling around one another, doing a dance as old as time itself.

"Again, wow!" Henry let out, bringing a smile to her face.

"You don't have to say that every time, we share a kiss, Henry!"

"I know, but I wanted to. I really like you Jen, like really, really like you!"

"That's great, because I really, really, really like you too!" she answered him back and as for their third kiss, it took place less than five seconds later.

A few hours later and when they'd come to shore, she couldn't help herself from kissing him again, even if they now where in a place, where anyone from her school could have seen it. Seeing as much of her life had been lived according to Murphy's Law though, this was of course what had to happen, when they heard a girl laughing mockingly at them.

"Shopping in the Junior's section, are we, Jen?" she heard what had to be the last girl, she'd ever want to speak to, say. Unfortunately, she wasn't the only one there and next to her was Chris Wolfe, who wasn't nearly as amused by this turn of events, as Belinda was.

"It ... ehm ..." was all that came out of her mouth, while it felt like Henry's disappointed eyes were staring into her soul, because she wouldn't be open about what they'd been doing.

"Tell them, Jen" he implored her, and although, she wanted to, the words just wouldn't come out of her mouth.

"You're ashamed, aren't you? I should have known that this would happen!" Henry angrily scoffed, before running away from her with the mocking laughter of Belinda to only serve to aggravate the situation even more.

"I can't wait to tell everyone, and I mean everyone, at school about this! Let's get out of here, Chris" Belinda told the guy, who only a few weeks before had been seen by Jen as a prospective boyfriend in the future, but now was only looking at her with the purest of disgust.

"Yeah, there's nothing worth seeing here. I hope that you're proud of yourself, Jen. Then again, tearing the hearts of young men apart is just what you do, isn't it?" Chris accusingly said to her, before leaving her to the tears that had begun streaming down her cheeks.

Following this horrible encounter, she started the long walk home. She could have taken the bus of course, but with how incredibly self-loathing she was feeling, a good bit of punishing herself felt like just what the doctor ordered. Even when she made it there, all she could think about was what Henry had to be going through and how, if it wasn't for her selfishly seducing him, he would have been far better off.

Pacey had at first decided to stay down on the street in the car, while his sister sorted out her situation with her ex-boyfriend. As the time passed though, and it had been well over two hours already since she'd gone up to his apartment, his stomach began rumbling and with there being a deli almost right next to where he was parked, he made the snap decision to get a hoagie from there, that could soothe and settle his constantly more rumbling stomach.

As he stood in there and waited for it to be ready to serve, a guy, who looked strangely familiar to him, came in to pick up his order.

"Is my order ready, Sally?" he asked the girl working behind the counter, who fetched an already prepared plastic bag filled with what looked like sandwiches from behind the counter for him.

"Here you go, Nick. Paper or plastic?" the girl asked the guy, who Pacey suddenly recognized from a picture that his sister had.

This had to be "The Nick" and he would be damned, if he didn't give him a piece of his mind, now that he had the chance to. Then again, him saying anything wouldn't help Gretchen, probably the opposite of it, so he kept his mouth shut and grit his teeth, as he watched Nick pay for the food and leave again, as quickly as he'd arrived.

As he sat there in the car and chewed down on his dinner though, it was like he had a small epiphany, or whatever you want to call it. Ever since his sister had explained how Nick had left her on her own to deal with the baby, that was also his responsibility, as much as it was hers, he'd hated the guy, like he'd never hated anyone before. Bar none. The more that he thought about it however, the more he began to see that it could just as easily be himself, who would find himself in Nick's situation someday, with an ex-girlfriend who was having his child and himself being stuck in a situation where there were no winners, only losers. If that girl on top of it jumped right into bed with one of his best friends, could he forgive her for it? Honestly, the more he thought about it, the less sure he was, and it actually made him respect Nick more that he'd been the one to reach out to Gretchen, considering what had gone down between them.

Had it been Joey, he would have forgiven her for just about anything, but Gretchen and Nick had been complete strangers, when they'd met in a study group at college and a few days later gone out on their first date. They didn't have the ballast of having grown up together or knowing every little thing about each other, like Pacey and Joey did and when Gretchen became pregnant, they were still in that early phase where everything is supposed to be easy and uncomplicated, while you just enjoy the fuzzy feelings running through you and fill your head with ideas, that you could have found the one. All factors that made Pacey grateful that he hadn't blown up at Nick inside of that deli.

It would be almost two more hours, that he spent listening to the radio and otherwise being bored out of his skull, before Gretchen came back to join him. This time looking extremely relieved, compared to when they'd arrived at the Beacon Street apartment building, that her ex called home.

"How did it go?" he instantly asked his sister, after she'd gotten into the car.

"Better than I'd expected. I'll fill you in on the drive back to Capeside" she replied and not long after, it was bye, bye Boston, as they hit the freeway that would take them back to their mom's house, where they knew that a certain someone was probably waiting eagerly to hear some news.

From what Gretchen told him, what happened was this: At first, it had been very awkward between her and Nick, as you would have expected, he gathered. After they'd both apologized to one another though, him for walking out on her and her for the rather poor way she'd dealt with their break-up, they'd been able to keep a civil tone and agreed, that them being at odds wasn't helping either of them, in any way. By the time Nick came down to pick up those sandwiches, Gretchen had already forgiven him and they'd agreed that even if they weren't getting back together, they would still stay friends. Most importantly, it helped Gretchen to make a decision on what to do about the child growing inside of her, that both her and its father could agree on.

"And you're absolutely sure that adoption is the right path going forward?" he asked Gretchen, who looked more at peace with her decision, than she had about anything since her return to their small hometown.

"Surer than I've been of anything in my life. I can't raise a child on my own, not at this stage of my life, anyway. It's better that he or she gets to have the kind of stability in their life, that I can't offer them" Gretchen calmly explained, and it wasn't like he couldn't see where she was coming from.

"I would have helped out all that I could, you know?" he told his sister, who shot him a wry smile.

"I know that you would and mom too, but at the end of the day, it still would have been my job to be a mom and raise my child in the best way possible. I want to have children someday, don't get me wrong, but it has to be when I'm at a place in my life where I'm ready for it and just as importantly, be able to give my child a father who's ready for what he's getting into. Nick isn't and that's just how it is" Gretchen said, with a look of peace on her face that told him in unsaid words that this wasn't a decision she'd made without giving untold hours of thought to it.

If she could be so calm about it, then so could he, he thought to himself, as they pulled into the driveway of their mom's house, putting an end to their little road trip.

Joey's day had turned from being one, where she didn't know what to do with her time, to one where a pressing need to comfort Jen became her number one priority. A job that wasn't easy, considering the amount of self-loathing her friend was showering on herself.

"I'm the biggest bitch in the history of the world, aren't I?" Jen asked her with teary eyes, as they sat on the swings at the playground, Joey used to play at for hours on end when life was simpler and their biggest boy problems were with the ones, who tried to put gum in their hair.

"Considering the number of the über-bitches that have existed throughout time, you wouldn't even make the top billion of them!" she tried to reassure Jen, although it didn't look like it helped much. "If you apologize to Henry tomorrow, I'm sure that he'd forgive you in a second".

"Would you? He must have felt so betrayed and hurt, the poor boy. Maybe, I deserve to be alone, if this is how I treat someone like him" Jen sobbingly said, as she stared a figurative hole in the ground in front of herself.

"Jen, I'm not trying to sound like I'm Dr. Phil here, but you're still learning this whole relationship game, as much as I am. In other words, mistakes like that are bound to happen, once in a while. The only advice that I can give you, is to tell him how crazy about him you are and just lay it all out there. Everyone's going to know anyway, am I right?" she told Jen, who looked like she agreed with her.

"What about the ridicule, that's sure to follow?" Jen asked her, bringing up a logical point.

"I'm sure that it won't be nearly as bad, as you fear. You won't know until you've tried it, though" she told Jen and for the rest of the evening, they sat in Jen's room, listening to Bruce Springsteen's greatest hits, while her friend imagined that it was Henry, singing those songs just for her.

END OF CHAPTER SIXTY-FOUR

Chapter Text

"It's time to celebrate and have a good time!"

KOOL AND THE GANG (From the album "Celebrate!" (1980))

Abby awoke that Monday morning for once not having a clue what would await her, when she got to school. The day before had mostly been one of celebration, after Sheriff Witter had informed them that it hadn't taken many minutes after they'd been brought into the police station, for Chris and Belinda to completely turn against one another and try to cast as much blame on the other as they could, for what was done to Grams' car. The only one who wasn't celebrating was Jen, who besides still feeling severely self-loathing over what had happened with Henry, had begun to see Chris as maybe not a friend, but someone that she could see herself giving in a go with, when it came to dating him. As if that revelation wasn't enough, Henry had flat out refused to talk to her, when she'd tried to apologize to him over the phone. Something, that Abby couldn't really blame him for, all things considered.

"What are you going to say to him, when you see him?" Abby asked Jen, who'd busted into the bathroom for an emergency pee, while Abby was still getting her hair right and putting on her make-up for the day.

"Which of them? The jerk, who I feel like a complete dunce now for ever having considered dating, or the poor angel, whose heart I tore to pieces?" Jen deadpanned in reply, before flushing the toilet and pulling her pajama bottoms back up.

"Both".

"The first one, I won't say a single word to, ever again!"

"I'm right there with you, as far as not wanting to talk to Chris again, but what if you have to do a school assignment with him? It isn't unthinkable, after all" Abby reasoned, as she gave herself one last look in the mirror and decided that she was pleased with the result of her "labor".

"I'll flat out refuse, simple as that! Not that I want to put too much hope into the empathy of the teachers at our school, but if I explain it to them, I'm sure they'll understand why and let me off the hook. As for the other, all I can do is beg for his forgiveness and I'm still debating with myself, if I'm willing to sink that low".

"You'll know when you see him. I'm absolutely sure of it" Abby tried to reassure Jen, who still looked unsure, though.

"Maybe Chris was right that all I do is break the hearts of every poor sap, who tries to fix the mess that is me with their love. I mean, think about it. I come here and I instantly do it to Dawson, probably screwing up his mind so much, that I share some of the blame, when it comes to him cheating on Mary-Beth".

"That's just ridiculous, Jen! You broke it off with Dawson, because you knew that you weren't right for one another, were on two different playing fields and when you did it, it was a sensible, well-thought-out decision. The reason why he cheated with Hannah is because he was thinking with his dick instead of his brain, end of story! Well, that and being around Mary-Beth was about as interesting as watching paint drying, but it can never, ever have been your fault!" Abby unequivocally stated, which did manage to get a small smile out of Jen, who almost hadn't smiled at all for well over a day.

"Okay, let's move on to the next one on the list, then. I played with your heart too, remember? That still weighs on my conscience, you know?"

"I'm long past being over that, Jen. Sure, it kind of sucked when you let me go weeks without knowing anything and having a head full of thoughts that I couldn't control and ... come to think of it, you were a total bitch, weren't you?" Abby said, but in a way where Jen knew that she didn't really mean it.

"Again, I'm so sorry. The more I've thought about it, the more I want to just do everything differently, from how I handled that whole situation. You were undergoing this life changing thing and ..."

"I still would have been in denial about who I am, if it hadn't been for you, remember that part? If it wasn't for that moment between us, I wouldn't have a girlfriend that I'm crazy about and most importantly, I was never at peace with being who I was before, because I was constantly lying to myself. You forced me to be honest with myself and that's one of the biggest gifts, you could ever give to someone. I'll love you for it until the day I die" Abby explained to Jen, whose smile had kept growing wider with every word that had been said.

"What's your excuse for me then, when it comes to falling for my friend's boyfriend?"

"Hormones running wild and Pacey being an extremely likable guy by nature, not to mention that he is admittedly sort of a hunk, objectively speaking. Plus, you never actually considered making a move on him, did you?" she asked Jen, who shook her head.

"No, not even close to it! I could never do that to Joey!" Jen replied.

"Do you know what that makes you? It makes you the kind of friend, you know that you can trust with all of your heart. Those aren't easy to come by and not just me, but all of your other friends know that we're blessed to have a friend like you. Ask Joey if she blames you for it now or has ever blamed you for it for a second and she'll tell you the same kind of stuff, I'm telling you here" she told Jen, whose demeanor had changed completely over the last minute, from self-hating and defeated to being much more like her usual self. A fact that Abby thoroughly enjoyed the knowledge of being a huge factor in.

"Thanks, Abby. I needed to hear that" Jen told her honestly, sending a wave of personal satisfaction flying through Abby's innards.

"You're more than welcome" she'd just told Jen, when they heard Grams' footsteps approaching them.

"Look at you two, bonding like you were sisters!" Grams smilingly told them and got a pair of smiles in return.

"I'm sure that we must have known each other in at least one previous life too!" Jen quipped, knowing very well that in conflicted with Grams' Christian beliefs to believe in reincarnation. Except for when it comes to that one guy, of course.

"That's where I remembered you from! We met in Greece during the Spartan wars! Those were some crazy times, huh? With that whole wooden horse thing and the soldiers coming out of it, to take that city" Abby played along with the joke, that even Grams, who rarely laughed, couldn't help chuckling at.

"Then again, you could be a bad influence on one another too!" Grams dryly joked. "Mitch just knocked on the door to tell me that he's starting work early today, so you two can catch a ride with him and Dawson to school, if you get a move on" Grams informed them, and as if those were magic words, it got both Abby and Jen moving instantly to quickly get ready for school.

When Nikki had started at Capeside High, she figured that as far as her seeing anything that she hadn't seen before at all of those other schools, she'd gone to, the chances were slim to none. Some schools have their, to any outsider looking in on it, somewhat strange traditions and she'd seen a few of those, including at one of her more rural elementary schools where "The Coming of the Pigs" was an annual event, that was hyped like it was the second coming and in reality turned out to just be an excuse for the little kids to play with some adorable piglets for a few hours, instead of being bored inside of a classroom. Capeside High however, was not that kind of school and with her dad in charge of it now, it was a by the books kind of school, where rules were to be followed and no one was allowed to question the authorities, whether they supported their decisions or not.

As she found out though, pretty much from the moment that she stepped through the doors that morning (after what had been a completely uneventful weekend for herself, that she'd mostly spent reading through the script to "Barefoot in the Park" over and over again, each time coming up with some new idea, that she kept meticulous notes of) as far the students went, the positions of power within the school hierarchy were far more fragile. Out in the rest of the town, stuff had been going on that had especially the female part of the student population being split into three groups, whereas nearly all of the guys just looked like they thought it was funny as hell that Belinda McGovern had fallen so hard from grace, now that she'd (from what the grapevine said) been indefinitely suspended and surely didn't stand a snowball's chance in hell of keeping her position as head cheerleader. It even seemed to her like among Chris' buddies, there wasn't much sympathy for him, and she saw for herself how one of his (now probably former) teammates from the football team had to be talked out of going looking for Chris, so he could beat the living crap out of him.

To around fifty-five to sixty percent of the girls however, in her own very rough estimation, it was a case of "Ding Dong, the Witch is Dead", which she actually heard a small group of girls singing in unison, while they were literally dancing in celebration together! Then you had a group of ten to fifteen percent, mostly made up those who were only part of the popular crowd thanks to having constantly kissed Belinda's butt, and were worried about losing that popularity, from how Jen explained it to her. A few of them were speaking out in support for Belinda, but most of them just tried to stay quiet and not draw any unneeded attention to themselves.

Many of them though, looked secretly relieved and were probably just afraid to say it out loud and have their friends turn on them, like they'd seen it done before when Belinda saw herself mad at one of them and decided to cast someone out on a whim, just like she'd done to Abby's girlfriend Melissa, from what Nikki could understand. Again, going by what Jen explained to her. As for Nikki herself, she'd overheard a few slightly racist remarks from the girl, who had to be the most disliked at her own school that she'd ever seen or heard of anyone being, but had otherwise avoided her and they hadn't spoken a single word to one another, so she couldn't say that she hated her, which put her in with the final quarter or so of the girls, who had little to no opinion on it either way.

One thing that did cheer her up a lot, however, was seeing how instantly and incredibly relieved it had made Abby, Melissa and Jen that they wouldn't have to fear anymore, if it was someone who was actually dangerous and out to physically harm them. As they saw it, thankfully, it had just been a spoiled sixteen-year-old girl with a dumb grudge, but no real bad intentions, except than to make herself feel a little better at someone else's expense, and a rather harmless jock with a bruised ego, who didn't like one bit being turned down for another guy.

Her dad had, in light of the events and to make a few things clear to every single one of the students, called an extra school assembly that morning, where she sat in between Pacey and Abby as she watched her dad speaking to them through a microphone.

"Good morning, students. This is, it's safe to say, an unusual day here at Capeside High and I want to use this opportunity to teach the rest you what will happen, if you choose to do anything like what Chris Wolfe and Belinda McGovern, who have both been suspended from this school indefinitely for the time being, have confessed to the police to having done" her dad began, before spending the next five minutes first laying out what this means for the two culprits and that along with the punishment from the law, they'll have to deal with, this could and probably would have an effect on their chances to get their dream jobs many years from then, once any prospective employer finds out about what they'd done. After this, he began talking about what a hate crime is and since she'd heard more or less the exact same speech from him at the last pair of schools, he'd worked at and she'd attended, this was around the time where she started to zone out a bit.

"Damn, Pacey looks good today! Maybe, he did something new with his hair?" she thought to herself in a fleeting moment, when their arms rubbed up against one another, as he switched position in his chair a little, sending thoughts back to how he'd been the star of one of her erotic dreams a few days before. Not that it meant that she had a crush on him or anything like that, just that she could appreciate him for undoubtedly being a huge catch, when it came to guys their age. Or at least, this was what she kept telling herself, since she didn't think in a million years that he would dump a girlfriend, that he was clearly as madly in love with, as she was with him, meaning that having feelings for him would be irrational of her and therefore, best left forgotten about.

After all, the one and only time where she'd done anything irrational when it came to her personal life, it had royally blown up in her face and nearly landed her in in a South Carolina Juvenile Detention Center, like the one where her ill-fated ex-boyfriend Jerome was currently serving his sentence. If it hadn't been for her well-off dad getting her a great, but also extremely expensive lawyer, who was a complete contrast to the close to useless public defender that Jerome had to settle for, she figured that she most likely would have been sent away too and wouldn't be in a place that was nearly as pleasant to live in as Capeside was. If Jerome wasn't already out thanks to good behavior, but she had a gut feeling that with his temper issues, he was probably getting into fights close to, if not on a daily basis.

"Sorry. One of my ass-cheeks was falling sleep" Pacey whispered to her, almost making her smile to herself at the worst possible moment, in her case.

"It happens" she quickly whispered back to him, not wanting to call any attention to herself and get a stern look from her dad, that would have to be discussed later in private.

As her dad kept going on and on about stuff, she'd heard him talking about countless times before, she found herself daydreaming back to the first time, she'd met the two years older Jerome and his "Young Denzel-like" looks, combined with a way of sweet-talking her, like she'd never remotely tried it before, had her feeling like she was the most special thing in his life. Even when one of his exes had shown up at their house, to warn her that he was bad news and would only get her into a world of trouble, all of that went in through one ear and out the other, when he did his thing on her to make her melt like soft butter on a burning hot frying pan. At that time, her dad had allowed her to have far more freedom, than he did now and little by little, she'd become sucked into a "Live Fast, Die Young" world, where everyone did drugs every day and committing crimes was as natural as brushing your teeth, or going to bed at night. Not that Jerome had even had a bed of his own, ever since he'd run away from home at thirteen and from his abusive dad, who'd been beating his son for the smallest things, until that son finally had enough and found a new family, who would take him in and treat him as one of their own. As long as he played by their rules and did as he was told.

This also meant that there was always a couch for him to sleep on somewhere, but as she'd come to find out the hard way, that loyalty only stretches so far, when you've been busted with fifty grams of Cocaine, trying to evade arrest and carrying an unregistered handgun and everyone else involved is busy trying to save their own asses, first and foremost. Hell, she couldn't even claim to have been better than them, since she'd been the crown witness in the case against him, like it had been part of her plea agreement with the state that she had to, or there would be no deal. Had she hated having to do it: Absolutely, and she hated it for every second that she had to be inside of that courtroom. Did she feel sorry for Jerome: Somewhat, since he'd had a horrible life that excused some of his misdeeds and it no doubt explained a lot, when it came to how his life had turned out, still at the same time, she hoped that it could be the wake-up call, he so badly needed. The judge in his case had clearly thought so too, seeing as he'd agreed to let him go on trial as a minor and not an adult, which could have sent him away for much longer than the two years, he got.

As for still being in love with him, that part of her life was instantly dead and buried, from the second the police showed her on a videotape of his interrogation, how he'd tried to pin the crimes on her and pretend that he was just an innocent victim, who was at the wrong place at the wrong time and nothing else. If he was ready to throw her under the bus, then she figured to hell with him and that was how she'd mostly thought of him in the close to a year and a half that had passed by, since she'd last seen him, on that day where she bore witness against him in front of a judge.

If she ever was to see him again, highly unlikely as it was, she would ignore him if she at all could, but if she had to say something to him, it would be to ironically tell him thanks for hardening her heart, and making her all the surer that she was better off single, than with someone who's going nowhere in life and is too blinded from reality to see it. Not that she had much choice on the matter, with a dad who it felt like was watching her every move like a hawk, to make sure that she never screwed up her life that badly again under his watch.

To Dawson, aside from the joy of it for once not being a school day, that just flowed into one with most of the rest of them, it was a school day that was ninety-nine percent spent fantasizing about what would happen, when Eve was to come over to his parents' house that evening, for an evening with absolutely no parental supervision. With his parents getting suspicious enough, that they now made him keep the door to his room open whenever she came over, it was a rare chance for them to do more than just the kissing, they'd had to stick to so far. His dad had removed "Joey's Ladder" that went up to his bedroom window as well, now that it hadn't been used by the one it was unofficially named after in ages, and probably just to make sure that his naughty friend with benefits wasn't sneaking in that way, without his folks knowing about it.

Joey rarely coming over to visit didn't bother him as much either, as it did when Pacey and Joey had just started dating and he would gaze over at the window in hope, every time there was the slightest noise coming from outside. Instead, he'd found Mary-Beth to take her place and now Eve, who was like a hot "Spare Joey" that only wanted to make out with him and wanted him to leave the long conversations about philosophies on life to his friends. That part of his and Joey's lives, where they were almost joined at the hip, was over and now, where he'd come to accept it, he could also see the positives in it. After all, he could never tell Joey about what he was doing with a girl like Eve, not even Jen who would surely end up telling Joey somehow, someway.

"What time is that girl with the three-letter, biblical name coming over?" Pacey slyly asked him, as they were walking to their last class of the day, which appropriately for the question was social studies.

"Half past nine and my parents won't be home from the theatre until twelve, at the earliest" he answered Pacey, who smiled knowingly to himself.

"You know what that means is in the air, don't you?"

"I don't know how much longer; I can keep holding it off with her. Or how much longer that I want to" he found himself saying in an entirely unintentional way, where it sounded far worse than it was.

"Do you know what I think it is, and you can't take it the wrong way, if I tell you?" Pacey asked him, like only his oldest friend could and with the face of a lovable scoundrel, you couldn't say no to.

"I promise that I won't" he solemnly swore.

"Somewhere in the back of your mind, you're still hoping that Joey will be your first. If it can't be her, then you want it to be Jen, who was the one that woke you up to the entire idea, that there are other girls in the world, who aren't named Joey Potter. You can't have Joey for obvious reasons and if you do it with Jen's half-sister, you know deep down that's every chance of getting it on with Jen gone, once Eve is sure to tell her about it" Pacey explained and as Dawson had to admit, was making some decent points.

"It's a nice theory, but it doesn't count in one extremely important factor!"

"That she's sculpted by the Gods themselves, very sweet, if not a little overly boy-crazy, and you get as horny as a hound dog, every time you even think about her touching your junk?"

"That would be it!" Dawson dryly joked, just before they arrived at the classroom door.

After a class that had gone by in a haze of hormonal thoughts, he was on his way out, when he heard a familiar voice behind him.

"Dawson, wait up!" he heard Joey say and slowed down, so she could catch up to him.

"What a day, huh?" he asked her, getting a crooked smile in return.

"This one will be felt for a long time to come! What are you doing tonight?" she asked him, and it suddenly occurred to him how long it had been, since she'd last asked him that question.

"I'm ... eh ... not really doing anything" he lied and instantly regretted it.

"I ran into your mom, and she told me that you'll be home alone tonight. Do you know when the last time was that we hung out together, just the two of us?" she asked and when he thought back, he honestly couldn't remember it.

"It was the weekend after Thanksgiving, as in nine months ago" she reminded him. "I miss those long talks that we used to have about our lives, don't you?"

"Sure, I do. Don't you have those with Pacey?" he asked her, and it made her smile to herself.

"We try, but it tends to end in smooching pretty quickly, whenever we're alone together!" she confessed to him, making him smile along with her. "Come on, just for old times' sake!"

"It ... ehm ..." was all that would come out of his mouth, unfortunately.

"It's settled, then! Tell you what, I'm sure that we still have one of Bodie's lasagnas in the freezer, so why don't I bring that over and we'll split it between us?" she asked him and even worse, was sounding like she was really looking forward to it now.

"Sure, I guess" was all that he could think of saying, as he wondered how to get out of this mess, he'd just put himself in. He did think of one thing to say though, on the fly, that could be a life raft for him. "You can come over early, if you want. Six o'clock or something like that?"

"I want to get home pretty early too, so that sounds perfect. I have to catch up on my sleep. All of the stress of us moving has been keeping me up lately" she told him, making him laugh to himself.

"Why?" he had to ask, and now she laughed along with him, for how ridiculous she was being.

"I haven't tried it, since I was a little kid, okay? If I don't feel at home in our new house, then what?"

"You ask your dad, if you can live with him at the B&B and he'll be delighted to have you there. Joey, you're worrying over nothing!" he assured her, as she smiled to herself.

If he could only get Joey out of the house, before Eve came over, he would be in the clear.

Most of Jen's schooldays went roughly like this: The first two hours, she more or less managed to keep her enthusiasm and her mind on her classes. Hour three to four, she began to go into a gradual decline in interest for her classes, leading to early stages of daydreaming and if her stomach had begun complaining, looking forward to whatever was awaiting her in the cafeteria for lunch. Those two long hours after lunch though, when the dopamine would set in and begin to make her drowsy, was where she really began to zone out and she'd gone through so many non-school related topics to think about during those long hours, that she'd debated some of them to death in her head, with her favorites being "Who's the most and least attractive guy/girl in school", "Who's the most boring teacher at their school", as well as debating topics like "What do people see in that whole Eurodance genre?" and "Who's the worst actor, Van Damme or Seagal?" to no end with herself, while she allowed the hours to flow by in somewhat of a haze. The final classes would then be when she really got disenfranchised from reality, while she fought a brave fight to appear like she was listening to her teachers and in truth, had already mentally checked out long ago. Of course, there were some classes here and there, that she found somewhat interesting (with history and social studies being her favorite subjects) but as a general rule, she'd already learned to set her expectations low, when it came to anything exciting or too out of the usual taking place.

This day however, had been a hoot since she got to Capeside's own learning factory, mostly because there was a completely different kind of mood around the place, like they were finally free again, after years of oppression! Granted, that was overdoing it a little and most of the fuss surrounding Chris and Belinda's suspensions had died down by lunchtime, but it really felt to her like the school had passed some kind of invisible corner, when it came to what is acceptable and what isn't.

"How much do you guys think that Belinda would hate it to know, that her huge drama is already considered yesterday's news after less than a day?" Melissa asked her and Abby, as they were leaving the school after a day, that had been like nothing, they ever could have expected.

"Twelve on a one to ten scale!" Abby quipped with a hint of truth to it, no doubt. "Then again, I can't think of a more fitting punishment for her than being completely forgotten about!"

"Belinda who?" Jen jokingly agreed with her friends, and although she hadn't expected there to be more surprises coming that school day, one more was still to come that she hadn't seen coming.

Standing right there on the street outside of the school, was Chris, holding up a clearly homemade sign with the words "I'm Sorry" written on it in large letters. He wasn't looking too comfortable in this situation either from the stares that he got from his peers, but from what she could tell, he really did look like he meant it and for once, was being serious about something in his life.

"Does he deserve our pity? After all, he is a teenage boy and was probably thinking with something that wasn't his brain?" Abby asked and mused at the same time, as they took in the sight of how pathetic Chris was looking standing there in softly falling rain that only must have piled on the misery for him.

"I just want to move on from this and pretend that it never happened. If you two think that we should forgive him, I'll try to do the same" Melissa chimed in with, leaving the final decision to Jen herself.

"Let's see how much he's willing to grovel first!" Jen suggested, to the acceptance of her friends, before they walked over to a relieved looking Chris, that they were willing to hear him out, at least.

"Girls, I'm so sorry. It was all Belinda's idea, I swear!" he exasperatedly tried to tell the three girls, who were trying to play it cool, while pretending that they hated his guts.

"Why should we believe you, Chris?" Jen asked him. "One minute, you're pretending to be my friend and the next, you're writing death threats on the hood of my grandmother's car!"

"I am your friend, Jen. I'm also a guy however, and when Belinda started doing her thing on me ... the girl is a total bitch, but she gives fantastic head, okay? That's the only reason why I was with her!" Chris tried defending himself with, even if only got him headshakes and eyerolls from the girls, he was selling his defense to.

"TMI, Chris! Anyway, that has to be the worst excuse of all time!" Melissa scolded him, no doubt making him feel around five inches tall at this particular moment.

"I know! Look, I have absolutely nothing against you lesbians! I love that your kind exists, and I always picture myself with more than one girl, when I'm ... you know? Actually, there's usually around three or four of them there and they aren't just doing stuff to me, if you know what I'm saying" Chris confessed to them, and like a chain reaction that started with Abby and made it all the way around to all three of them, they soon found themselves laughing and not caring that their little talk was drawing stares, while the one they were laughing at was just relieved, that it didn't look like they hated him or anything like that.

"If that's your own personal version of showing tolerance, it's better than nothing, I guess!" Abby stated, with a nod along from Melissa to match.

"I would certainly never dream of hurting someone, just because they turned me down, Jen. It probably isn't a surprise to you, but it wasn't the first time, I'd tried it" Chris said, this time addressing Jen directly. "I'm a lover, not a fighter".

"That's kind of the impression that I got of you too" she shortly replied, getting a small smile out of Chris.

"Tell your grandmother that she can send me the bill for the repairs, and I'll gladly pay for it. I hope that we didn't freak her out too much".

"She's tougher than she looks. I'll tell her" she told Chris, who looked pleased.

"Thanks. I should get home, where more of my mom's punishment waits for me. I can give you girls a ride though, if you'll let me" he offered, but when Jen saw a certain someone out of the corner of her eye, she knew that she had to turn him down.

"I'll respectfully pass. There's someone that I need to talk to" she told the rest of their group, before walking towards Henry with her heart beating faster than a marathon runner's, after a good couple of hours of stretching their body to the max.

"Hi, Henry" she started with, although all it got her was ignored by him, at least to begin with.

"Okay, so I thoroughly deserve that! No arguments there from me!" she told Henry, who while he was trying to walk away from her, was also deliberately walking slow enough that she could easily keep up with him.

"Listen, I'm really sorry that I got all tongue-tied, but it doesn't mean that I'm ashamed of what we did. If I was, then why have I been daydreaming myself back to when you were kissing me, every chance that I get?" she tried her luck with and this time, it got Henry to stop walking and listen to her, at the least.

"You have?" he shyly asked her after a few seconds of them staring one another deeply in the eyes.

"Have you?" she asked him back, like him saying the right thing in response was the most important thing in the world to her.

"I can't stop myself from it. Look, Jen ..."

"Before you say anything, I just need to tell you one more thing. Look, I've never had any kind of luck, when it comes to love. My whole romantic history is a who's who of guys that I had crushes on and didn't like me back or guys, who I hooked up with looking for love and companionship, only to find out that all they wanted me for was sex and nothing else. You want to know something else? I'm so sick and tired of it being that way, that you wouldn't believe it!" she "confessed" to Henry, who looked sympathetic with her, like few other boys his age would have been with her in this situation.

"I guess, I can understand why" he very dryly joked.

"Basically, what I'm trying to tell you is that if we were to start dating, you'll have to accept a lot of things about me. Like me being truly awful at dealing with it, whenever someone puts me on the spot unexpectedly, like it happened a few days ago. I'm not perfect, far from it, in fact" she explained to Henry, who by now looked like he'd all but forgiven her entirely.

"You always will be in my eyes" he answered her sweetly, with those innocent eyes of his feeling like they were staring a hole into her very soul.

"Trust me, if there's one thing that I have in abundance, it's my little flaws here and there! If you can get past them though, there's a, in her own opinion not all that bad of a girl, who's totally crazy about you, hidden underneath them" she told him, in the most romantic way she could think of. Which must have worked too, considering the size of the wide grin that it put on her crush's mug.

"Does this mean that I get to take you on a date this weekend? Like, a real date?" Henry cutely asked her and now, it was her whose smile was so wide that it was putting Jack Nicholson's version of the Joker, from the first of the Tim Burton Batman movies, to pure and utter shame!

"Maybe, this will answer that question for you" she flirtingly answered, before proceeding to do what she'd wanted to do the most, ever since the last time that she had tried it.

As for who was watching them, she couldn't have cared less!

After a day that was anything but it at school, Nikki actually found herself enjoying the normalness of her home, where there was rarely anything unpredictable that happened and her post-school activities that day were roughly the same, as they were every weekday. Come home, get herself a small snack from the fridge, to tidy her over before dinner came a few hours later, before she'd zone out to MTV for half an hour or so and it became time to do her homework. She was just getting her books out and bopping along to a song by one of the newest girl all-vocal bands, named Destiny's Child, that seemed rather run of the mill to her compared to En Vogue, her favorite girl band, although she had to admit that their lead singer (some girl named Beyonce, from what she'd heard) had something to her that made Nikki think to herself that she could end up having a hit or two of her own someday, when the phone rang and she rushed to get it.

"Green residence" she answered it, using the most generic term out there, in case it was someone from the school or the schoolboard, who was calling to talk to her dad.

"Nikki, is that you?" she heard a voice on the other end say. After a moment or two to realize who it was on the other end, she couldn't help breaking out in a small smile.

"In the flesh, Shaniqua" she replied to what had probably been the best friend that she'd made, prior to her and her dad moving to their current home. "Are you still rocking it hard down in South Carolina?"

"It depends on how you look at it, I guess" Shaniqua answered her, probably with the same small shrug of the shoulders that Nikki knew usually accompanied it, whenever anyone asked her that question. "What's it like where you are?"

"As "Small-Townish" as it gets, but I can't say that I wasn't expecting it to be!" she bluntly answered Shaniqua, whom she heard let out a small giggle on the other end of the line. "How did you get our phone number?"

"I asked your dad's ex and she told me which school he was the principal at now, so I looked it up on-line and called their office, after I knew that he'd probably gone home for the day. People up there really aren't shy about giving someone's phone number away to just about anyone, who asks for it, are they?"

"They have a tendency to trust people blindly up here, believe it or not. Did you just call to chit-chat, or ..."

"Jerome got out of juvie a few days ago and he wants to talk to you. I told him that I have zero clue where you are or how to get in touch with you, but he seems pretty set on it. If you ask me, it sounded like he sincerely wants to apologize for how he screwed everything up between you two" Shaniqua informed her, sending waves of formerly felt romantic feelings rushing through Nikki's body again. "I didn't tell him anything, I swear, but if I can find out where you are that easily, so can he, if his mind is set on it. You can consider this your fair warning".

"You don't think that he's out for revenge against me, do you?" she worriedly asked Shaniqua, seeing as the thought had passed her mind a handful of times, especially in the days after Jerome's sentencing.

"It didn't seem that way to me, from how he sounded".

"How exactly did he sound?"

"Like he's truly ashamed of how it all went down, when he was arrested and tried to pin it all on you. Is your dad still reminding you of it on a daily basis?"

"Every chance that he gets to!" Nikki stated to Shaniqua, whom she could hear laughing on the other end.

"Why doesn't that surprise me? Anyway, I should go, since this phone call is probably costing my parents a small fortune. Take care, okay? Even if we don't see one another every day anymore, you're still my friend and I still care what happens to you".

"The same to you. I'd tell you to say hi to my other old friends down there, but everything considered ..."

"You secret is perfectly safe with me, don't worry" Shaniqua reassured her, before hanging up.

After that little talk, Nikki found it nearly impossible to concentrate on her homework and soon gave up on it, in favor of watching some more MTV that went in one ear and out the other, while her mind was preoccupied with thinking about more important stuff. She couldn't tell her dad about it either, seeing as he'd probably attempt to get a restraining order against Jerome, the first chance he got to and considering her own past with him, would she even want to see him again or hear out his apologies?

Honestly, she was entirely sure either way.

If there was one thing that Dawson wasn't afraid to admit, it was that he'd been missing his one-on-one time with the girl, who until the year before had been the only representative for her gender in his personal life, if we don't count his mom into the equation. How many hours of their childhood that they'd spent up his room, watching movies and talking about every little aspect of their lives hundreds of times over, he had no count on, but the simple fact was that when he thought back to those days, Joey had been an integral part of his life for most of it. Therefore, he was soaking this chance up for all that it was worth and their activities for the evening were almost like a salute to those simpler days of the past, with them watching "Raiders of the Lost Ark" and having Bodie's lasagna for dinner, a callback to Joey's 11th b-day, when she'd stuffed herself with so much of it, that she barely had the energy left to open her presents afterwards. Of course, they were older and thankfully wiser now, but it still felt nice to pretend like they were back in a time before her hooking up with Pacey had led to his oldest pal taking the place in her life, that he once held onto like it was his only life raft, in the raging seas known as adolescence.

"How does it make any sort of sense that if Indiana Jones and his girlfriend close their eyes, they don't get melted by the ghosts, like the Nazis do?" Joey confusedly asked him, as the movie was coming to an end, posting a question that many movie-watchers had no doubt asked themselves over the years.

"It's because ... you see ... I can't come close to explaining it either! Maybe, George Lucas or Steven Spielberg can, but I'm drawing a complete blank here!" he fumblingly answered Joey, who let out a cute little laugh at his answer. One thing that he couldn't deny enjoying the sight of was how much happier that Joey generally was now, compared to her pre-Pacey days, when a lame joke like that would just have gotten a scowl or a roll of the eyes from her.

"Does this mean that you're willing to admit that even your hero Spielberg isn't perfect?" she asked him, with a small twinkle in her eyes to add to it.

"It comes more from having found out that perfection is unattainable, if you want to get philosophical on the subject. Even if something, like a movie or a person, is perfect in one person's eyes, it will never be in everyone's eyes and just how it is" he replied to Joey, who nodded along in agreement, as he spoke.

"Like Pacey, for example" she began, bringing up perhaps their hometown's best example of such a case. "Through my, probably far too much in love with him, rose-tinted glasses, his little faults here and there don't mean the slightest thing, but if you ask his teachers at school, it's a very different story!"

"You are willing to admit though, that he isn't perfect?" he asked back, although it only drew a smile from Joey's lips.

"We're talking about Pacey, and I am still a realist to the bone, after all!" she fired back and now it was himself, who couldn't help letting out a small chuckle. "He tries his hardest to keep me happy though, so I give him a pass on most of it. What about yourself and the romance front, anything going on there?"

"Not all that much, I'm afraid. There is this one girl that I kind of like ..."

"Who?" Joey asked, interrupting him.

"She's one of the girls, who works down at the new video store. I doubt it, if you know her. We've watched a couple of movies together" he told her, in his best attempt to keep Eve's name out of the conversation.

"That's a good start. Do you think that it could lead to more between you two?" Joey asked him, sounding like she was legitimately interested in his romantic escapades.

"I hope so. She's ... something else, let me put it that way!" he confessed, before shooting another glance at his clock radio, which told him that it wouldn't be more than half an hour at the most, before his "second date" of the evening would be arriving for an evening that if it went like hoped it would, would end with him losing his innocence to the sexiest teenage girl, he'd ever set his eyes on before.

"I'll keep my fingers crossed for you. Anyway, I should be getting home soon. My bed is calling out to me, like you wouldn't believe" Joey "confessed" and less than five minutes after the credits had started rolling on the first movie in the Indiana Jones series, she was out of the door and on her way home.

This was perfect too, seeing as it gave him time to fix himself up to look his finest, prior to the object of his affections coming over, to hopefully give him the erotic experience of a lifetime. Twenty minutes later, almost on the second, there was a knock at his parents' door and like a child, who thinks they're opening the door for Santa Claus himself, he rushed to see who it was, not that he couldn't easily guess it.

"Joey! Ehm, I wasn't expecting to see you back here tonight!" he told Joey, who was looking as annoyed with herself, as he was feeling the call of wild crying out for another girl, who would be there soon.

"I must have dropped my keys here. Can I come in and look for them?" she asked him, and seeing as it was such a small thing to ask for, he couldn't find it in his heart to say no to her.

As bad luck goes though, of course this just had to be the exact same time, as Eve came walking up his parents' porch, looking all kinds of tempting in her cut-off shorts and skimpy Minnie Mouse t-shirt. As the two girls made eye contact, he could swear that his heart missed at least one beat and probably more, when push comes to shove.

"I'm not into the idea of having threesomes, if that's what you think!" Eve told him off, making him feel around two inches tall at that particular moment. Luckily for him however, her remark only made Joey laugh out loud, which brought a certain earthiness to the situation, that was desperately needed.

"Eve is your secret flirt? Why didn't you just tell me?" Joey bright-eyed asked him, making him feel slightly foolish for not just having done so.

"We're sort of more than just flirting. It's more of a ... what do you call it ..." he began explaining, before Eve took it onto herself to do it for him.

"Friends with benefits is the proper term" Eve butted in with, in a very matter of fact kind of way. "Of course, if he's ashamed of telling his friends about me, that could quickly change!"

"I'm not, I swear! You wanted to keep it secret too, remember?" he said to Eve, who shook her head at his claims.

"When did I ever say anything to imply that to you, Dawson? Here I thought that we were in the beginning of something, but if we aren't ..." Eve began saying, before Joey felt the need to throw her two cents in, just for the hell of it or so it seemed.

"Allow me to be the mediator here! Dawson, do you want Eve to be your girlfriend?" she bluntly asked Dawson, who (in spite of feeling a little like he was being ganged up on here) was glad that she'd decided to help him out this way.

"Of course, I do. She's pretty amazing, when you get to know her" he admitted, and from the sweet smile on Eve's beautiful kisser, he could tell that it wasn't the worst thing to ever come out of his mouth.

"Eve, do you want Dawson to be your boyfriend?" Joey asked, this time addressing Eve and not him.

"On one condition. That he tells his friends about me" Eve answered, laying down a law that he could live with.

"In that case, I hereby pronounce you two boyfriend and girlfriend! You may kiss, while I go inside to look for my keys and then, I'll be out of your hair!" Joey said, sounding like the most unconventional minister of all time, before leaving them to themselves and whatever their hormone driven minds could come up with for the rest of the evening.

Did Dawson go all the way with Eve on this evening, you might ask? Well, only almost, but as far as giving him plenty of material for the old "Spank Bank", she all but filled up that cup before midnight hit and it became time for her to head back to her dad's house again.

END OF CHAPTER SIXTY-FIVE

Chapter Text

"Our house, in the middle of our street

Our house, in the middle of our ...

I remember way back then

When everything was true and when

We would have such a very good time

Such a fine time, such a happy time

And I remember how we'd play