Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Mario and Peach’s honeymoon had been awesome. They’d managed to get away from the Mushroom Kingdom for a whole month to do whatever they wanted – well, for the most part. It started off as a normal honeymoon: They’d gone to the beach, enjoyed a spa and hot springs, and took in the local (for the area) theater. However, things took a dramatic turn halfway through the honeymoon as they’d gotten caught up in a cross-Kingdom-wide adventure that resulted in the arrests of multiple individuals!

It was such a fantastical story that it could have been the plot of a video game! Or even a movie!

And the best part: Bowser didn’t bother them the entire time!

Mario was feeling so rejuvenated following his and Peach’s return to the Mushroom Kingdom, that the first he did upon setting his feet down from the bus was run to check in on his little brother and tell him everything.

Once he made it to Luigi’s home, Mario joyfully hopped up the short steps to the front door and tapped out a series of knocks.  

He was caught off guard when he wasn’t immediately greeted, but the new prince of the Mushroom Kingdom took it in stride and simply knocked again a little harder.

No answer.

“Hello?” Mario called.

Still no answer.

Suspicious, Mario decided to peak through the windows. There were curtains covering each window of the humble home but, overall, Mario could still see through the thin material enough to make out if there was any movement. He looked through for a few moments – taking a second to wave off a passing toad who gave him strange looks – before he came to the conclusion that his brother just wasn’t home.

It was early enough in the morning that Luigi would usually only just now be getting his daily cup of coffee and sitting down to read the newspaper.

As Mario wearily eyed the newspaper still sitting on Luigi’s lawn, the overalled prince sighed in defeat. He figured that his brother must have left home early that morning for some reason or another, so he’d just have to tell Luigi all about his fantastic honeymoon some other time.

Maybe his little bro was out finally making some friends?

As he was turning to leave, Mario noticed Luigi’s neighbor exit his own home. Mario waved, but the toad only yawned sleepily and took a sip of his coffee.

Poor guy looked like he’d slept on the wrong side of the bed. Droopy eyes and looking absolutely exhausted, the toad was most likely not a morning person. Still, Mario watched as the toad stumbled his way out the door and down the sidewalk. Mario would have left, but he noticed that the neighbor toad was heading toward Luigi’s house. The toad walked right up to Luigi’s newspaper, grimaced, and snatched the paper up from the ground.    

“Hey!” Mario called, startling the toad into spilling his coffee. “Why’re you stealing Luigi’s paper?!”

The toad fumbled between embarrassment at having been caught and irritation at having spilled coffee all over his morning robe, “I-I was just h-holding it for him!”

“A likely story. How long have you been doing this? Does Luigi know why he hasn’t been getting his paper lately?”

Mario figured that Luigi probably did know who was stealing his paper, but he probably also didn’t want to confront his neighbor about it. Luigi had always been too kindhearted for his own good.

Luckily, Mario was there to put an end to this paper thief’s tirade!

Surprisingly, the toad’s tone took a turn for the defensive. He actually sounded offended that he’d been outed as a papernapper, “I don’t think he’d care since he hasn’t been here for a month!”

Huh?

“What do you mean he hasn’t been here for a month?” Mario asked.

Neighbor toad took an unsatisfying swig of what little remained of his coffee, “I noticed Luigi’s newspapers were piling up on his lawn a few weeks ago. He’s usually good at getting it every morning, so I thought he might be sick or something. Knocked on his door and everything, but it didn’t look like he was home! I figured that I would hold his newspapers for him for when he gets back – I don’t want his lawn junking up the neighborhood, after all.”

Huh.

“He’s been gone for a whole month?!”

Mario rushed back to Luigi’s front door.

“Luigi! Luigi, you in there!?”

He checked the doormat and used the spare key underneath to open to door.   

Had Luigi been desperately waiting for someone to check on him the entire time Mario had been on his honeymoon?!

“Bro, you in here?!”

He checked every room, under every chair, and behind every door, but there was no sign of his brother.

Strangely, there was a thin film of dust on the kitchen table, and in the bedroom, Mario also noticed that one of Luigi’s dresser drawers was slightly ajar and oddly devoid of any of his brother’s usual overalls and green shirts.

Had he gone on a trip?

Mario didn’t see a note anywhere, but Luigi would have definitely told him if he was going on vacation.

So where was he?

Mario was startled from his thoughts at the loud, repetitive calling of his name from outside the home.   

“Mario! Mario! MARIO!! MARIO!!!”

Mario ran to the front door, but had to stop to avoid smacking into the neighbor toad. The neighbor toad was out of breath but wildly waving the morning newspaper in the air as though it was the starting flag to a championship kart race. “Why didn’t you tell anyone?!”  the toad accused in a panicked tone of voice.  

The former-plumber had to grab his cap to prevent it from falling to the floor as the toad thwacked the bill upwards with the paper. The guy was seriously acting like he had lost his mind! Quickly so as to prevent anymore assault to his headwear, Mario snatched the offending newspaper out of the toad’s hands, “What are you talking about?”

Instead of giving Mario a straight answer, neighbor toad took the loss of newspaper as a sign to finally catch his breath and ramble about something Mario was having a hard time understanding.  

“Hey!” Mario exclaimed, grabbing the toad’s attention upon hearing him mention something about ‘his neighbor,’ “What about Luigi!?”

“The headline!” toad gasped, “READ THE HEADLINE!”

One look at the headline nearly made Mario fling the newspaper in the air.

There in his clenching hands, was the headline:

“TOP SECRET! GREEN MARIO BRO TO MARRY KING BOWSER”

Chapter Text

Luigi awoke to the sun rising over the ominous black mountains of Koopa Kingdom.

He had no idea how long he’d been in Koopa Kingdom at that point, but he knew his time there was coming to an end. At least for a little while. Luigi knew his home in the Mushroom Kingdom was probably getting dusty, and his brother was bound to be back from his honeymoon any day. He’d just go back home for a bit, clean up, catch up with his big bro, and come back.

He just couldn’t bring himself to leave.

Knock, knock, knock, knock!

Luigi smiled. And just like that, another day in Koopa Kingdom had begun.

He got up from the cozy overly-large bed to greet the little Koopa prince on the other side.

“Good morning, Jr!”

Jr grinned and looked particularly excited. The little koopa enthusiastically talked about how ‘today was going to be the best day ever’ and that Luigi should ‘hurry up’ so they could head down to breakfast as fast as possible.  

It was a little unusual for Jr to be this excited, but Luigi just figured that Jr and the koopalings had discovered a new game to play and were excited to try it out.

It was around a rushed fifteen minutes later, after the green former-plumber had convinced Bowser Jr to wait outside the bathroom so that he could get washed and dressed, that Luigi and Jr made their way down to breakfast.

By this point, Luigi was used to his mornings being a little hectic. He could already hear the excited musings of the koopalings, but they seemed louder, and even more excited than usual. 

When Luigi was practically pulled along to the dining area by Jr, he was amazed to find that the morning's breakfast had a theme.

A heart theme?

“Is it Valentines Day?” Luigi asked as he sat down at the overly-large and ornate table.

Numerous pairs of eyes watched him, like usual, but the koopalings seemed oddly more attentive that day. It made Luigi feel self-conscious like he was going to get pranked.

“What’s Valentines Day?”  Morton asked while he munched on a large helping of heart-shaped pancakes.

“Sounds romantic,” Wendy mused.

“Sounds disgusting,” Roy commented as he flicked a pink sprinkle towards Iggy.

While Roy and Iggy began a sprinkle war and Wendy kicked Roy under the table for his comment, Luigi laughed, “It’s a romantic holiday they celebrate back where I’m from.”

“Oh?” Came Bowser’s rugged voice as he sauntered into the kitchen. The large koopa took his oversized seat next to Luigi’s smaller one and was quickly supplied with his own mountain of heart-shaped pancakes by one of the many servants that scuttled around the table. 

Bowser poured himself a dripping waterfall of syrup over his mountain of pancakes before he handed the container to Luigi who proceeded to do the same to his own.

The stack Luigi had been given was way too big for him to ever finish, but he knew that the koopalings were waiting with baited breath to rip apart whatever he couldn’t eat.  

Bowser stifled a cough, his cheeks oddly pink that morning, “So you have a romantic holiday in your world with hearts and junk?”

Luigi nodded, “Yup, couples usually would buy chocolates for each other and go out to dinner to celebrate.”

Wendy’s eyes lit up, “So it is romantic!”

The rest of the koopalings, minus Bowser Jr, gagged in response.

Bowser huffed, but didn’t otherwise respond.

Luigi noticed Bowser Jr. poking his pancakes. The cakes had absorbed all the syrup he'd poured on them so, Knowing that Jr absolutely hated it when that happened, Luigi piled one of his own cakes onto the little prince’s plate.

Immediately Jr brightened and stabbed into the cake with his fork, “Thanks, mama Luigi!”

Forks dropped, choking noises were made, and Jr immediately froze. He sucked in a breath as if to say something else, but began to partially choke on his mouthful of pancakes.

“Ah, Jr!” Luigi startled and began to pat the young koopa’s back.

-

After breakfast, Bowser announced that he’d taken the day off (as a King can do) to spend the day with Luigi.

Now, this wasn’t anything unusual. Bowser could take off from his kingly duties whenever he wanted because his subjects were scared witless of him (and also respected him), but Luigi liked to think there was a special reason that Bowser had taken off that day.

Especially because he said that he’d taken it off to spend with Luigi in particular.

“What about the kids?” Luigi asked.

“Kamek’s watching them today.”

“You sure he’ll be okay?”

As if on cue, Luigi and Bowser turned just in time to see the blue-robed wizard flying haphazardly in the distance, a gaggle of koopalngs trying to catch him trailing closely behind. Morton, one of the larger koopalings, grabbed Lemmy and chucked the little koopa at the wizard. The littlest koopaling latched onto Kamek and began to climb all over him, effectively causing Kamek to crash to the ground for the other koopalings to rush into him like a tidal wave.

“Eh, I’m sure he’ll be fine,” Bowser commented.  

And so Bowser and Luigi spent the entire day together on a surprisingly well-planned trip.

It started with an airship ride to a kingdom known for its beautiful beach – where they enjoyed said beach while being waited on hand and foot in a private cabana – then continued with a fantastic boat ride where they got to see the local sea life. Luigi had a blast. Bowser had a blast. It was the most fun they'd had together in a while!

By the time Bowser and Luigi boarded the airship for their return flight, the green former-plumber was exhausted. Bowser looked tired too, but he also looked nervous for some reason. Luigi asked him about it, but Bowser just laughed it off. He wasn’t nervous. Why would he be nervous?

But Luigi could see a curious flush to his cheeks.

They were both relieved to be headed back home after such a perfect day. 

And that’s what Bowser’s castle really felt like, Luigi mused. 

It felt like home. 

“Oh, I got you present,” Bowser off-handedly stated as they neared the castle.

It was definitely the lava that contributed to the pinkish glow surrounding them both. The atmosphere upon their return had taken a calming and maybe… romantic atmosphere. Yeah, the pink of Luigi’s cheeks was definitely from the lava and not anything else.

“A present?”

“Yeah,” Bowser stated and reach to grab something. He pulled out a box.

“I, uh, saw this and I thought you might like it.”

Luigi took the offered box and untied the bow on top. He opened it and laughed when he saw the contents.

“Chocolates?”

“Yeah!” Bowser exclaimed defensively; his face flushed with embarrassment. “Who doesn’t like chocolates?”

“I love them!” Luigi grinned.

“Oh, uh, good!”

Luigi continued to smile. They would be landing any minute, but now he just wanted to stay up in the air.

“You know,” the former plumber stated. “These won’t last long if the kids find out about them. Want to split them with me before we land?”

The kids didn’t seems to mind that Bowser and Luigi had circled the castle for half an hour longer than they needed to.

Kamek however…

A very raggedy and tired-looking Kamek wearily greeted them alongside 8 very not tired-looking young koopas. The kids were practically bouncing off the walls with energy, and they grinned at Luigi as though they knew something he didn’t.

It looked like Lenny and Ludwig had made themselves matching bowties with a very familiar-looking blue cloth.

They excitedly told Luigi about their day, and then Bowser Jr walked up to him with a very hopeful expression and asked Luigi how his day had been.

"It was fantastic!" he'd excitedly exclaimed. The rest of the koopalings wanted details so while Luigi was busy regaling them with the day's events, he didn't notice the thumb's-up Bowser Jr and Bowser exchanged. 

Bowser coughed, “Um, Luigi?”

“Yes?”

“Would you—this is gonna sound weird, but would you mind… putting on this blindfold?”

Chapter Text

Mario should feel lucky that Luigi got a special delivery of the Koopa Kingdom Kolumn. Mario didn’t know why Luigi got a copy of a paper from the enemy Kingdom or why anyone would go out of their way to deliver it, but those things didn’t really matter.

Namely because:

His brother had been kidnapped!

Mario should have known that his Bowser-free honeymoon had been too good to be true, but he never would have expected that Bowser was off kidnapping his little bro!

And then there was the matter of that stupid headline from the Koopa Kingdom Kolumn!

“TOP SECRET! GREEN MARIO BRO TO MARRY KING BOWSER”

After freaking out in a manner that put neighbor toad’s freakout to utter shame, Mario managed to get himself together enough to THROW THE NEWSPAPER TO THE GROUND AND SPEEDRUN HIS WAY TO KOOPA KINGDOM AS FAST AS HIS PRINCELY PLUMBER LUGS COULD CARRY HIM!

His mind raced as he jumped every platform, dealt with every enemy, and dodged every hostile obstacle.

Was Bowser going to target Luigi now that Peach was married?

Did Mario’s happiness… hurt his little bro?

He tried not to dwell on that train of thought but it was the only reasonable explanation. If Bowser married Luigi, he’d be related to the Mushroom Kingdom’s prince’s brother. He’d marry into an off-shoot of Mushroom Kingdom royalty. Bowser couldn’t become king of the Mushroom Kingdom by marrying Luigi, but he’d have an in and he’d be hurting Mario – the man who’d married the woman Bowser had been trying to marry for years.

By the time Mario made it to Bowser’s castle, the sun was setting over the mountains. It was strange, he mused, the red glow from the lava gave enough light for Mario to see that Bowser hadn’t plastered posters of his impending marriage all over the place. The castle didn’t even seem decorated for a wedding.

‘Is my brother not worth the effort?’ Mario thought bitterly.

Even stranger, when Mario snuck his way into the castle, he wasn’t greeted with a variety of enemies or minor boss battles. Instead, it was a pleasant walk through mostly empty stone halls. Occasionally one or two guards would walk by, but Mario was able to hide behind a stone column to avoid any confrontation.

Even the throne room was empty.

The whole thing was giving him an uneasy feeling.

“This way!”

Mario was jumped at the sudden shout.  He could hear the mutterings of a bunch of different bodies coming towards the throne room. Not wanting to take on that many enemies at once, the red prince quickly made the decision to hide behind a nearby tapestry.

Was this what Bowser had planned? Had the giant koopa king sent a horde of enemies to stop Mario once and for all?!

The doors to the throne room slammed open, revealing Bowser Jr and the rest of the koopalings scrabbling their way inside.

“Geez, easy on the doors, Jr,” the female koopaling commented.

“Eh, sorry! I guess I don’t know my own strength!”

“I told you lifting would get you ripped,” one of the larger koopalings stated.

Jr struck a pose and grinned while the female koopaling rolled her eyes.

Then Jr looked back outside the doors and called, “Come on, dad!”

“I’m comin’! I’m comin’!”

Bowser stomped his way into the room. In his hands was Luigi, blindfolded, and being guided by two clawed hands resting on his shoulders.

“You should have just carried him,” the female koopaling commented.

Bowser’s cheeks… pinked?

Mario failed to notice the smile on Luigi’s face in that moment. He was more concerned that his brother had been blindfolded like a hostage and was within Bowser’s claws.

Despite his mind telling him, no this is way too many bosses to fight at one time, Mario leapt from his hiding spot.

“Hands off my bro, Bowser!”

Bowser startled and let go of Luigi in surprise. The koopalings were also startled enough by the sudden appearance that they just stood there for a moment before all hell broke loose.

But not in the way Mario expected.

All the koopalings began to talk at once! They looked frustrated, but not really angry. The red plumber didn’t get a good listen to what they were saying, but their words didn’t matter as Mario rushed past small horde of small koopas to grab hold of Luigi.

Bowser snapped out of his surprise just in time to grab Luigi’s other hand, preventing Mario from fully snatching his brother back.

The green plumber let out a yelp as he was tugged in two different directions.

“What the heck are you doing here?!” Bowser commanded.

“I’m here to save my brother! Did you think you were just going to get away with it?!”

They argued back and forth, the koopalings complaints just a white noise to the growing shouting match between Mario and Bowser.  

Who knows how long they would have argued if it hadn’t been for Luigi’s voice cutting through the noise like a hot knife through butter when he uttered a, “Stop!”

Bowser and Mario released him. When Mario saw his enemy let go though, he quickly took back Luigi’s hand to pull him closer.

“Hey!” Bowser yelled.

Luigi gently swatted his brother’s hand away.

“Guys, guys, time out. I can’t see!” he complained.

Once Luigi removed the blindfold, he let out a sigh of relief, “Ah, that’s better!” He looked to Bowser, “That was a long trip with a blindfold. Next time, just carry me if we’re going somewhere far away.”

Bowser scratched the back of his head sheepishly just as the female Koopaling uttered a “told ya so!”

Luigi’s face lit up when he saw his brother, “Mario!” he exclaimed and hugged his bro. “How was your honeymoon?”

Mario gave him a confused expression, “Uh, it was great?”

“That’s awesome! You’ll have to tell me all about it!”  Luigi laughed and then realized where he was, “Oh, what are you doing here anyway?”

“Um, I’m here to… rescue you?”

“Rescue…? But I’m not in trouble.”

“Wha--?”

“That’s what we were trying to say!” all the koopalings stated at once.

Mario stuttered, “But you—but he—you were blindfolded!”

Luigi nodded, “Bowser said he wanted to surprise me with something.”

“Surprise--?! He kidnapped you!”

Luigi laughed, “I wasn’t kidnapped!”

“But the headline!”

That got Luigi to raise an eyebrow, “What headline?”

It was silent for a moment. Bowser looked to his children expectantly.

“What headline?” the koopa king asked warningly. His narrowed gaze roamed over each of his children. Everyone was looking between each other except for… Ludwig who was suspiciously looking at the ceiling.  

Suddenly all eyes were on the blue-haired koopa.

When Ludwig finally noticed that literally everyone was looking at him, he began to sweat.

Jr frowned, “You couldn’t keep your mouth shut, could you?”

“Bu-but the reporter was just there, and I had the juiciest gossip. How could any sane person possibly resist!”

“LUDWIG!” all koopas shouted.

“I told him it was top secret!”

Luigi looked between all of them, “What’s going on?”

Ludwig reached behind his back to reveal a small button. He pressed it with a sheepish smile and music instantly began to play.

It was sweet and delicate, but also uplifting.

“Oh geez, we’re starting!” A koopaling who’d been slightly dozing during the entire exchange exclaimed. In response, the rest of the koopalings revealed their wands from behind their backs. Mario readied himself for their attacks, but the koopalings instead aimed their wands at the ceiling.

They all blasted in the air, some blasts shot out confetti while others made fireworks.

Luigi and Mario were both amazed at the beautiful display. Mario’s mouth hung open in surprise while Luigi beamed, his eyes sparkling with joy.

It was then that Bowser got down on one knee and reached for Luigi’s hand.

Mario watched with widened eyes as the two talked. Bowser was smiling but it was clear he was both nervous and slightly embarrassed – probably because Mario was present.

Luigi was smiling too.

His brother’s eyes glistened with tears as Bowser presented a ring.

His brother looked so happy.

When it was over and done, Luigi was wearing a band on his finger with numerous beautiful jewels embedded within.

After a surprise party that the whole kingdom had been in on, Mario and Luigi finally had a chance to talk about what the heck had just happened.

“You’re my brother, of course I told you I was seeing Bowser!”

“I don’t remember that,” Mario confessed.

“I did!” Luigi promised. “It’s just that every time I brought it up, you were busy so I don’t think you were really paying attention. Remember that day we went to that new Imitation-Italian restaurant the Toads made? I talked about it for almost an hour.”

Mario felt guilty. His pocket had been heavy with a wedding ring he planned to present to Peach later that evening. He’d been so caught up thinking about what he was going to say... When he finally noticed Luigi looking at him – seemingly waiting for a response to something he’d said – Mario had just smiled and laughed it off.

Luigi had laughed it off too back then, but Mario knew that his little bro had felt slightly hurt.

Mario had never felt so low before. What kind of bro wouldn’t know that their little brother was dating the enemy kingdom’s king?

“So how’d you two meet?”

Luigi laughed, “Remember when I told you that I signed up for the new pen pal program?”

Mario nodded. He actually did remember his brother mentioning that during a visit. He remembered how nervous Luigi had been when he’d suggested trying it out. At the time, Mario thought it was silly for his brother to worry about who he’d eventually be writing letters to since they’d obviously have to be a toad or some other Mushroom Kingdom citizen.  The pen pal program wouldn’t have extended outside the Kingdom, right?

A sudden moment of realization dawned.

“Don’t tell me your pen pal was--?”

Luigi nodded.

Mario’s jaw dropped, “So your friend that you were always meeting--!”

Luigi nodded again, grinning.

So Bowser and Luigi had been talking to each other for that long?!

Mario felt like a really bad brother now.

Luigi must have noticed Mario slip back into his self-pitying mode because he gave him a pat on the back, “I know you were wrapped up with Peach. You don’t have to feel so bad about this.”

Mario was going to argue, but Luigi stopped him, “You just need to be the best man when I get married.”

Tears in his eyes, Mario leapt to give his engaged little bro the biggest hug he could muster, “I love you bro!”

Luigi laughed again, hugging his brother with just as much gusto.