Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

“I like your hair!” 

You look up from the pavement and try to find the source of the sound. Standing on the side of the road is a girl with loose hair nearly as long as yours. In the sunset-lit street, it looks almost pink, but it’s hard to tell. She’s wearing a pair of brown cargo pants and a white collared shirt with a red collar and cuffs. Her smile is probably brighter than her hair, and definitely brighter than the late sun. You reward it with a Jinx patented ‘leave me alone’ glare.

“The color suits you.” Somehow she manages to add a second smile to her first. You don’t respond. It’s way too early to be able to deal with people. Or too late. Whatever. 

“I’m Seraphine. What’s your name?” 

“Uhh…” you try to think of something clever to respond with. Something you can laugh at and then walk away, something to get this girl to leave you alone. You come up with “My name’s Jinx.” 

Fuck.

Something about her smile makes you feel weird. Like your throat is itchy. When you return your gaze to the pavement, she - Seraphine - responds with double the cheer, “I like that name, Jinx!” You risk a glance back up at her smile. “Hmm,” she puts a finger on her chin like she’s a cartoon character thinking. “Does it mean anything?”

“Sure does.” Finally you stop glaring. You force your lips into a cruel smile and look Seraphine straight in the eyes. “Stands for Jinx.” 

Something in that gets her to laugh. A real laugh that softens your smile. One you can see in her eyes and feel in your bones. “Alright, Jinx,” she stands up straighter as if trying to reach your height, “and if you must know, my name means Seraphine.” She giggles again and takes half a step back, falling back into a performance she must have thought through a hundred times. “Do you want to hear some music, maybe?” Okay, I guess she’s kinda cute. Wait no, that’s dumb. She’s just some weird stranger. Idiot.

She continues. “Um, I’m going to be performing in just a few minutes in there.” She points to the building you two are standing next to, “if you wanted to watch? I’d appreciate it!” She talks too fast, as if she could hide her nerves behind her ability to enunciate. 

Your silence manages to surprise her more than it does you. She flashes a practiced smile, then looks down at your boots. “Yeah, I guess,” you manage out. 

“Really?” She’s back to staring you down. “That’s great!” She takes a few steps backwards. “Well, I have to finish getting ready. I’ll see you inside?”

You tilt your head a little bit. “Sure thing, Pinkie.” Something about her smile sticks with you. She looks so happy to talk to you. Maybe that’s why you can’t stop smiling.

The building that would apparently be hosting the weird - definitely not cute - girl you met, turns out to be a small diner with live music. Lights too bright and an atmosphere too dim. A stage in the corner looks over a handful of people still having a late dinner. You order a lemonade and sit down as far away from everyone else as you can. When it arrives, you dump another sugar packet into it. After all, if it doesn’t burn your throat, it’s not sweet enough. 

It doesn’t take very long until Seraphine climbs the stage holding a violin. In the bright light, you can see that her hair actually is a bright pink. Of course she would have pink hair. Seraphine scans the whole eight person crowd, and smiles at you, before lifting her instrument. You just lean back in your chair, never setting down your drink and wondering when to leave. Seraphine closes her eyes, 
Inhales,
And starts playing.

You didn’t know that anybody could make a violin sound the way she did. With only a handful of slow notes, the pink haired girl grabs your emotions and yanks them wherever she wants to go. She slowly floats around the stage as she plays. A serene face carried by a stained set of working boots that tap out the rhythm.  Another deep exhale. An inhale through the nose. Seraphine finally opens her eyes as she starts to sing. You couldn’t have repeated a word back to her if she paid you, but for a moment your mind forgets everything but her voice. Delicate and careful, but also firm. Each syllable precise and meaningful.  You close your eyes and for a blissful minute lose yourself in Seraphine’s music. Then it’s over. Bright lights, polite clapping, a practiced smile to a tiny crowd. You notice your foot jittering against the floor and your hands rubbing the sides of your pants. You try to stop one of them but can’t decide which. 

Before your mind feels entirely yours again, Seraphine approaches where you’re sitting with a drink of her own. “Jinx! Could I join you?” She asks, her face lit up with excitement. You respond with an exaggerated curtsy in your seat. “So! What did you think? Did I do well?” She looks at you with wide eyes, then flushes and turns to look down at her drink. 

You scoff a little bit. “Yeah, I guess it was alright,” you lie, looking at her hair. She returns to looking you in the eyes, so you briefly return the favor before your burning cheeks force you to return to your almost empty glass.

“You think so?” 

“Yeah. It just needed more explosions.” This gets her to laugh for a moment. “Seriously though, I loved it.” Seraphine smiles to herself long enough for you to notice something about her drink. “Are you drinking coffee?”

“Yeah?”

“It’s like eight o’clock. You do not need more energy.”

“I like it!” With this the girl raises her hands as if to protect herself from your assault.

“Whatever you say, Songbird.” You laugh and down the last of your drink. “Do you perform like this often?" This is the first time you’ve seen her smile get smaller. “I’ve been trying to. Recently.” She sips at her coffee instead of continuing.

You lean back in your chair. “Everybody’s gotta have a passion, I guess.”

Seraphine’s smile comes back but it’s softer, somehow. Quieter. She doesn’t look at you when she says, “I just feel like… I could make people’s lives better. Happier.” 

It feels like someone poured cold water inside your skull. You smile and lean forward in an attempt to convince your brain that this is okay. “Well, Sera-Bera, I think you’re definitely hanging out with the wrong girl for that.” You notice your hands shaking but can’t seem to stop it.

Suddenly, Seraphine is as bubbly as ever. “I’m sure you can’t be that bad!” Her smile is unbearable. “Also, ‘Sera-Bera?’ That is easily your worst nickname yet.”

Calm down. Calm down. You’re being unreasonable.  
“Hey, you try to come up with good nicknames on the spot.”

Seraphine does something with her face. Your eyes won’t focus. “Hm…” she thinks for a moment. “Blueberry!” A pitiful laugh comes up your throat.

“Oh, and that’s so much better?” you say. Need to get away. Run. Hide. Now. “Listen, Cherry Blossom…” This gets a chuckle out of the pink haired girl that somewhat cuts through your haze. “...It's been nice talking to ‘ya, but I’ve gotta run. Busy tonight.”

You stand up to leave. Seraphine stops you. She pulls a pen out of her pants pocket. Stop being so slow. Shut up. Let me go. She writes something on a napkin and then gives it to you. You walk away with a lazy salute as a farewell. You don’t look at the napkin until after you’ve left the building and run half the way back to your dorm. It’s a phone number.

Oh. 

You got a girl’s number.

Stop thinking about her, idiot. There’s no point. She’ll just hate you like everybody else. It will be better for both of you if you leave her alone.

Two days after you met Seraphine, after she gave you her number, you’re lying on your bed, staring at the roof, and hating yourself. You can’t stop thinking about the pink haired girl. Her smile is burned into your eyes. You hear her perform in your dreams. All you wanted was to forget about her. She’s too nice. You’d only ruin her. Maybe you’re being irrational. Maybe not.

“Aaaaahhh!” you explain to the ceiling. It doesn’t reply. “She’s so annoying.” Maybe you should at least turn on the lights. You couldn’t remember how long you had been lying in the dark. Maybe the ceiling makes a good point after all.

“Fine,” you tell it, “but I promise we’ll regret this.” You roll over and halfway fall off your bed. Standing makes you feel worthless, but so does lying down. You find the napkin that you had hidden from yourself two nights ago. Suddenly you feel like you shouldn’t even touch it. Don’t deserve it. You’re a jinx. You don’t know how long passes with you just staring at it. Finally, you put the number into your phone. Minutes later, you send a text.

Jinx: hey

Seraphine: Who is this?

Oh, fuck you. You can’t do this. You sink back into bed and wait for it to swallow you. Unfortunately, the bed leaves you perfectly alive. The ceiling just keeps staring at you without reacting. Ughh. Fine. You look at your phone again.

Seraphine: Hello?

Jinx: yo its jinxie

Seraphine: Jinx! Hi!

Seraphine: I was worried I might have given you the wrong number, haha

Jinx: nope

Jinx: you're still stuck with me

Jinx: what've you been up to?

Seraphine: Oh well yesterday I spent like all day on this performing project for a music class I’m in. Something about it I just can’t get. 

Seraphine: Today I’ve pretty much just tried to catch up on homework

Seraphine: What about you?

Jinx: sounds like you've been way more productive than me lol

Jinx: I really haven't been doing much 

Seraphine: Do you want to do something? I’m free for the rest of the day 

Jinx: lmao okay

Jinx: I could try to help you with your project?

Jinx: not that I know a single thing about music

Jinx: actually nevermind probably lmao

Seraphine: Actually I think that might be really helpful!

Seraphine: You could give me a different perspective on it

Seraphine: If you want to of course!

Chapter Text

Seraphine flips on the light switch. You can hear the lights turn on before they actually light up the room. The room itself has a couple chairs, a few music stands, and an electric keyboard. “I spend a lot of time here practicing,” Seraphine says. 

“Damn, this room really needs some color to it.” The walls are a bland beige and the carpet is the most boring gray imaginable. “I can’t imagine willingly spending time alone here.”

“I don’t think I’m allowed to decorate down here, unfortunately.” Seraphine takes her violin out of her case as she talks. “I guess you get to be the color for now.” The comment goes over your head as you think about how you could paint the room.

“You could have a night sky, full of stars. Definitely the moon and some planets. Then maybe on the other side there’s the sun rising and it’s the whole big mural.” Your hands start wildly gesturing around you. “Oh, and then you could have a giant rocket ship flying across it billowing smoke all over the place!” Oops Seraphine is looking at you. “Sorry,” you add, “you can practice your whatever it is. Ignore me.” The pink haired girl laughs at you. Oh, she was smiling. She has a good laugh.

Seraphine shakes her head. “I would never ignore you, Jinx. It’s really nice getting to hear you talk about something you’re passionate about.”

You blow your hair out of your face. “I mean, I guess.” Your head leans to one side. “I just figure, gotta have fun with it! You know? Like, what’s the point of life without some color?” You let out a nervous laugh, but Seraphine is still smiling at you. “I don’t know how someone could not want to color over this room.”

Seraphine tilts her head to the side but still looks straight at you. “You know, I think I feel the same way about my music!” She looks around the room. “Life is all about coming together, and if my music can help that happen then why wouldn’t I want to do that?”

“Okay, Sera-Bera, you lost me at the whole ‘bringing people together’ kumbaya stuff. I just think bright colors are way more fun than boring, organized, plain, bleughh .” Seraphine laughs at your vocalization.

“Whatever you say, Blueberry.”

You snort at her nickname for you. Then, remembering why you’re here, you say, “Anyways, what’s the project you wanted to work on?” 

“Oh! My project,” Seraphine begins, “is just to perform an original piece on whatever instrument you want. Violin is the only instrument that I’m any good at, so it’s my choice.” Something changes in her when she explains this to you. Normally, Seraphine seems intensely focused on you. Right now, you realize, she’s different. She’s reading herself a script. 

You interrupt “How long have you played violin for?” Get her off the script. Throw a curve ball. Why? Chaos, that’s why.

Seraphine’s eyes focus back on yours for a moment. “As long as I can remember. My whole life, I suppose.” She shrugs, then smiles wide. “I like playing it.”

“So.” You drop yourself into one of the chairs. “What’s so hard about this assignment?”

“Well, the piece I have to play isn’t my choice.” Seraphine places a folder on one of the music stands and takes out a few sheets of music. “Everyone in the class had to write a piece of music for somebody else to play.” 

“So, what, is the other guy an ass or something?”

“Jinx, there’s something very important you should know about me.” Seraphine completely fails to make her voice sound grim and serious, and on her face is a mischievous smile. “I am completely incapable of playing jazz.”

You just look at her. “What?”

“Jazz is weird!” She throws her hands to the side, one holding a violin and the other a bow. “I can’t play what isn’t written. That’s not how reading music works!” She shakes her head back and forth.

“Pinkie, I heard you play the other night.” You lean forward in your chair to properly scold her. “You could probably play while doing a handstand in a rollercoaster and still sound amazing.”

Seraphine laughs at you. “Jinx, what-”

“Uh-uh, Sera.” You point a finger. “Jinx is talking now. You do not get to tell me that my friend can’t do something that I know very well she can.” Your foot is tapping as fast as it can go. Seraphine raises her eyebrows and smiles at you so brightly you think you might go blind.

“May I speak now?”

“Permission accepted,” you reply, nodding. She laughs at you.

“Jinx, You’re crazy.”

“Yup! I am!” She laughs again, even longer now. Coming here was definitely worth it. You think you’d do just about anything to get to hear that laugh again.

“Thank you,” Seraphine says, and it hits you like a brick wall. Her cheeks are turning the color of her hair. “I really appreciate your enthusiasm.” She looks down and smiles to herself even more.

After collecting your thoughts, - she doesn’t hate me - she will - shut up - you manage to say, “So, what about it are you actually struggling with?” You stand up and walk around to look at the sheet music the girl has out. Yup, it’s complete gibberish. Musicians are weird. Seraphine gets strangely excited at you standing so close behind her. Weirdo.

Seraphine settles a bit. “The problem is that what’s written on the score isn’t actually what I’m meant to be playing,” she explains. “So for example, over here,” she points in the middle of the first page of music, “it has absolutely no style markings even though it definitely wants them. And then here,” her voice rises and picks up pace as she points to the next page, “it doesn’t even tell me what to play, it’s just chords to play over, which is not at all helpful when I’m being graded for accuracy! ” She takes a deep breath. “Sorry. I’m okay. Sorry.”

“Woah, hey, Seraphine, you really don’t have to apologize for that,” you say. “I mean, I don’t really know what you’re talking about, but still.” Seraphine manages to exhale angrily, as if she practiced how to breathe for every different emotion. You continue, “so is it just that you get to make it up as you go? Or are there, like, rules ?” You shudder at the thought.

Seraphine takes one more deep breath and looks up at you. A silly smile creeps onto her face, then she reinforces it to return to her normal ‘smile so much that Jinx can’t think straight’ face. Her smaller smile when she first looked at you was definitely cuter, though.

“So, yeah, actually, pretty much!” Seraphine explains. “The idea is, as I see it at least, to play in the style of the piece, but that the specifics of how you do that is left up to you.” She looks back at the music and her smile fades. “The performer.”

“Wait, do other songs not leave it up to you like that?”

“Oh, no.” The performer looks back at you. “Most pieces you can just play what’s written and do pretty well from that. It’s all prepared.”

“Wow that sounds kinda lame.” You laugh a bit at yourself. “Could I hear you play some of it?” Your eyes drop to the floor as your hands fidget with the pockets of your pants. “I really enjoyed listening to you last time.”

“Yeah,” Seraphine’s voice drops slightly. “Of course.”

The violin comes up and a bow rests gently on top of it. Its performer looks into the music in front of her, exhales, inhales,

Seraphine doesn’t sound anything like she did last time. She still is paying beautifully and carefully, but where last time she sounded emotional, this time she sounds bored. The notes pour out from her hands perfect and clean and uncaring. It didn’t sound like Seraphine. You can’t even hear her smile. 

After a short while, she stops. “So, there’s a bit of it.” The pink haired girl sounds defeated. “I don’t know how to play this.” Why did that pain you so much to hear?

“Sera,” you say, “that sounded really boring.” You laugh at her face as she lets out a chuckle. “I mean, like,” you start walking around the small room, “you can’t only play whatever the weirdo asked you to play. That’s lame!” This causes Seraphine to laugh just a little bit more. You smile. “Like this room! Yeah, sure, it’s a fine room, I guess, but who thought that beige would be a good idea? You gotta add something more fun!” You suddenly turn to face Seraphine and deadpan, “I’m totally bringing some paint down here next time.” That’s enough to make her completely collapse to laughter. What feels like minutes pass of her laughing and you just smiling at her. Finally, she struggles to catch her breath.

“Jinx, if you do that you’d better not get me in trouble.” Seraphine tries to look stern but can’t help some giggles from taking over. You just shrug.

“I’m not hearing a no.” You walk back to your chosen chair and fall into it. You lean as far back as you can, letting your braids drag on the floor. After a few seconds, you bounce back up. Seraphine is just looking at you. “You’re good, Pinkie?”

She looks a bit surprised, as if caught doing something bad. “Um, yeah! Just thinking about something.” She puts her double-smile back on for a second, then looks down at her feet, blushing slightly. “Maybe I’ll try playing the piece again with your advice in mind.” Looking more determined now, Seraphine looks over her music, raises her violin to her chin, and places her bow on top. 

You lean forward to rest your head on your hand. Seraphine takes a few seconds to start playing. When she does, she immediately looks much more like herself than the last time she tried. She’s moving her feet around, and the music is much more energetic. There’s definitely some mistakes in there based on how weird it sounds, as well as some flinching by Seraphine, but to you that just makes it sound more fun. 

You jump up to join in on the fun. “Yeah!” you say, “break some rules!” Seraphine’s eternal smile turns into a small laugh. You close your eyes and start dancing around your side of the room, only half in time with the music. After a few seconds of that, you open your eyes and catch Seraphine watching you. This gives you an idea. Slowly, without stopping your random made-up dance, you move so that you go behind Seraphine. She doesn’t stop watching you, turning her body away from her sheet music to stay facing you.

“You’d better not stop playing now, Songbird.” She just smiles at you. Without reading the music, her playing sounds completely irregular and dissonant now, but she doesn’t stop. You don’t stop either. Instead, you start humming along a silly tune to accompany her as you dance around the tiny room. Your two tracks of music don’t mesh well at all, but you keep on smiling and so does she. 

Eventually, the two of you stop singing, playing, and dancing. Seraphine’s smile is as bright as it has ever been. 

“Uh,” you start, “sorry for distracting you, I guess.” 

“Thank you, Jinx.” 

“What?”

Her eyes never leave yours, even when yours nervously look between her face and your boots. “Thank you.”

You shift your weight between your feet as you say, “I mean, I kinda distracted you from working on your whatever thing.” She’s still staring, but letting you finish. “So like, I can be more chill now if you need to do that.” Shouldn’t have come. Annoying.

“Jinx.” Seraphine looks almost concerned now, her eyebrows trying hard to make a unibrow, “I’m glad you distracted me like that.” She laughs a bit at herself. “I needed that.” 

You just stand there speechless. 

Seraphine turns to face her music again. “Hm. I think I have some ideas on how to play this now, actually.” She turns her head towards you. “I really appreciate your help.”

“Of course!” You declare before your brain even knows what it’s saying. “Glad to be at your service, Pinkie.” You bow comically low just to tease her a bit. Seraphine goes back to analyzing her music, so you sit back in the chair you claimed.

Another hour quickly passes of Seraphine practicing her piece and you watching. She tries out several different styles of playing it, and occasionally does something like play with her eyes closed or try to play it backwards. Something about “improv,” according to her. You just watch and listen. When it’s time to leave, you find yourself dragging your feet to go out the door without really knowing why. 

When you’re finally out of the building, the sun has completely set. You hadn’t realized how late it was.

“Woah,” Seraphine gasps, then grabs your hand. “Jinx, look!” She points to the sky. A full moon outlines wisps of clouds scattered all over the darkness. In between, tiny stars add some chaos to the plain black sky. Outshining the stars, the moonlight covers the clouds, and the trees, and the two of you. Seraphine still hasn’t let go of your hand. You don’t mention it. 

“It’s so beautiful,” she says. 

Your head falls to look down at the shorter girl. She turns her head to look into your eyes. For a few precious breaths, neither of you move, but eventually you come to your wits. 

“Hey, uh, sorry, Sera.” You pull your hand out of hers and take a few steps backwards. “Haha, gotta get running home, you know? Don’t want to hold you up or anything.”

Seraphine’s smile fades, but quickly comes back. She quietly tells you, “I had fun today.” 

“Yeah.” Your thoughts stop racing for just a few seconds. “I did too.” 

Before you can change your mind, you turn on your heel and start walking away, leaving the pink haired girl to watch you disappear into the night.

Chapter Text

  - ekko

  - hey ekko

  - nerd

  - ekkooooooooooooo

  - ekko

what do you want? -

  - sup bitch

What do you want idiot? -

  - im not an idiot, idiot

… -

  - ok fine

  - I want your help with something

yeah what’s up -

  - so lets say for the sake of argument

  - hypothetically here

Hypothetically? -

  - HYPOTHETICALLY

  - there was this girl

  - and just to be clear shes totally lame and annoying and I cant stand her

Oh are we talking about you here? -

  - stfu

  - im awesome

alright jinx im taking notes -

  - good you should be

  - im trustin you here skater boy

  - but ok so this girl

  - the stupid dumb idiot

  - what if like

  - in theory

Hypothetically? -

  - HYPOTHETICALLY

  - I might kinda like her

what like you have a crush? -

  - Ewww fuck you no

  - gross

  - I hate gay people

Jinx you’re literally trans -

  - not relevant to the case. verdict dismissed

I don’t know why I bother with you -

  - because im awesome

  - keep up little man

  - I thought you were taking notes

You want advice on asking out a girl? -

  - …

  - maybe

lol -

thankfully I am an expert seducer -

I’m a *master* at picking up ladies -

  - yeah okay mr master baiter

Does this girl like you? -

Also what’s her name? -

  - shut up

  - its a secret

aww, she’s embarrassed. How cute -

  - fuck you

  - have I ever told you youre an ass?

Once or twice -

  - youre an ass

I’ll add it to my notes -

so does she like you? -

  - I dont know

  - probably not

  - I dont know man

 ok does she act differently around you? -

  - uh ive never seen her around anyone else

  - she smiles a lot

You’ve never seen her around anyone else? -

How’d you meet? -

wtf she smiles a lot? -

  - yeah like whenever she looks at me she starts smiling

  - its really weird

Oh my god jinx that’s so gay -

  - shut up

  - so a couple days ago she just stopped me on the street and made me listen to her play violin and sing, then she gave me her number

ok now this just sounds like a scam -

  - no she didnt make me listen ok

  - she asked nicely and smiled at me

  - I couldnt just say no

you’re such a lesbian -

  - Im not responding to that

Ok so lets go through the notes -

Ive got all the facts listed here -

1. She smiles whenever she looks at you -

2. She stopped you on the street to talk to you -

3. She gave you her number -

im pretty sure she either wants to rob you or fuck you -

  - she definitely does not want to rob me

  - shes way too sweet for that

  - wait what if shes straight?

  - fuck

Lmao you do have a crush -

  - I know where you live

you’re welcome to visit. Seeing you blush sounds hilarious -

she doesn’t really sound straight to me tbh -

Does she seem gay? -

Actually does she have any distinctive traits? -

  - yeah she has pink hair

dude yeah she’s queer -

  - what why

Jinx she has pink hair and sings -

That isn’t a straight person -

lmao -

You should ask her out -

  - what fuck no gross

lol just do it -

trust me -

  - remember when I said I would never trust you again

  - cuz I do

Yeah that was like six years ago -

stop looking for excuses -

  - you dont know me

k -

  - fuck you

Later…

  - her name is Seraphine

proud of you, Jinx -

Chapter Text

“You could easily make it forty percent sawdust before it’d be immediately noticeable,” Ekko said over his sandwich. You furrowed your brows and recoiled backwards.

“What?” You point at your friend with your fork and start to laugh. “Anything more than, like, fifteen percent max and you’d probably notice something was up just by looking at it.”

“Jinx, I could hand you one hundred percent sawdust and you wouldn’t notice.”

“Pppfsh.” You blow a strand of blue hair out of your face. “Maybe if I was sleeping. Besides, I’d realize as soon as I took a bite.”

“Wait,” Ekko interrupted, “are we assuming that they’d be eaten, too?”
“Durr. What else do you do with rice krispies?”

“Yeah, okay, fair. But still, have you seen them? They look exactly like sawdust glued together.”

“Uh, have you seen sawdust?” You tilt your head at least sixty degrees to the side, braids twirling against your back. “It looks nothing like rice krispies.” You twirl your fork through your spaghetti before taking a giant bite you can barely fit into your mouth.

Ekko glances behind you, then picks up his sandwich. “All I’m saying here, Jay, is that most people wouldn’t look that carefully. Dust is pretty easy to hide.” Then, sandwich in hand, Ekko looks behind you and says, “You two need something?”

A familiar voice from behind you stutters out, “Um, well, no, kind of…”

You snap your head around.

“ Saar-fee! ” You try to speak with your mouth full of food. Seraphine lets out the cutest little snort-laugh you’ve ever heard. You start choking on your spaghetti.

Seraphine quickly recovers her composure and directs her focus on to Ekko, “Hi, I’m Seraphine.” She bounces on her feet a little. “Jinx’s friend.”

“Nice to meet you. Jinx has talked about you a lot.” You turn your head back forwards to glare at Ekko. Then, you cough more on your spaghetti. Maybe you should slow down trying to swallow it.

“Oh! Well, fancy that.” Seraphine continues, “Um, and this is my friend, Lux Crownguard!” 

“It’s a pleasure to meet you two.” Seraphine’s friend smiles wide. 

You hadn’t noticed the other girl. She was bright like Seraphine but in a different way. She looked like one of those girls whose picture would be on the instagram page for a sorority or something. Long blond hair, perfectly normal matching clothes, and a smile that was probably handed down to her by her grandmother. Seraphine’s friend didn’t seem like a real person in the real world. So, as any upstanding citizen would do- should do- you decide to help ground her a bit.

Swallowing the last of your too-big bite of spaghetti, you look up at Lux. She’s taller than you expect. 

“Hi Luxy. Would you eat a one inch tall person for a million bucks?”

She looks down at you, but otherwise doesn’t react for two whole seconds. “Uh…” She tilts her head slightly to the side and purses her lips. “Yes? Obviously.” 

You tilt your head back and laugh at Lux’s answer. She just looks confused. Seraphine furrows her eyebrows at her confused face and her ever present smile half dies away.

Ekko sounds shocked when he says, “You would eat a person?”

Lux shrugs. “They wouldn’t live a very good life if they’re only an inch tall.” You keep laughing. 

“They’re still a person!”

Seraphine interrupts, “Sorry, but maybe we should get going? Do you think, Lux?” 

Lux shakes her head a bit like she needs to reset. “Oh. Okay. Sure.” She nods her head and smiles again. “It was nice to meet you, Jinx and Ekko.” Before you realize it, Seraphine and her friend are gone. Whatever. Not like you care. You look down into what’s left of your spaghetti. Seraphine left so quickly. She probably didn’t really want to talk to you. The spaghetti doesn’t react to being slowly stabbed multiple times.

“Jinx,” Ekko cuts in, “You’re moping.”

“Am not.” Bitch.

“Yes, you are. I can tell when you’re upset.” Why would she ever want to talk to you? You don’t deserve her. “Did you want to talk with Seraphine more?”

“Ppfsh.” You don’t move your eyes from where your fork is pushing the last bits of spaghetti around your dish. “No. Why would I want to do that?” 

Ekko leaves you alone after that. Still a bitch, though.

When you get back to your room, you check your phone and see a text from Seraphine. You pause for a moment, then quickly flop onto your bed and check the message. 

Seraphine: Jinx, can I talk to you about something?

Aw, fuck. You just know she’s going to tell you how annoying you are. One last goodbye before cutting you out, or whatever. Might as well make it quick. Push her away before she can

Jinx: k

Seraphine doesn’t respond immediately. You twist your body so you’re face up on your bed on top of the blankets. You close your eyes and let your arms dangle off the sides. The lights are bright enough to still be uncomfortable through your closed eyelids. You don’t do anything about it. Pain is one of the few things that you’ll let yourself feel. You check your phone after what feels like ages, but what the clock says was only a couple minutes, to no result. You repeat the process several more times until she texts you back.

Seraphine: Could we meet somewhere?

Seraphine: If you’re free of course!
Seraphine: No rush!

Seraphine: I just wanted to talk in person a bit, if that’s okay

Seraphine: Sorry if I’m being annoying

Jinx: k

Jinx: im free

“Jinx!” Seraphine calls out to you. You look up from your seat on a low stone wall to see Seraphine wearing the same obnoxious smile as she always does. You quickly look down before it can infect you.

“Hey.” Is all you reply. 

As Seraphine walks towards you, she looks up at the evening sky. 

“The sun sets so early now, doesn’t it?” She says. You look up past her. A few wisps of cloud hang in the air, some almost black where night is coming and others orange and yellow from the remaining sunlight. Seraphine looks back at you. You carefully avoid her gaze.

“Can I sit with you?” She asks.

“Sure.” You shrug.

Seraphine lifts herself up onto the stone wall, then twists around to sit on it. Her loose pants copy the movement of your uncovered legs as she idly kicks out into the air, if with slightly more energy.

Her voice tightens as she asks, “Are you okay?” You try to think of a response in the pause, but she continues speaking before you can say anything.

“I just-” she stops, takes a deep breath, and tries again. “I just wanted to apologize for earlier today?” She says it like it's a question. Like she doesn’t know how to talk without smiling. Like she doesn’t know how to talk to you. 

Seraphine doesn’t say anything more, so you lean your head in her direction and say, “What’ve you got to apologize for?”

“I wasn’t honest.” She says, then pauses for a moment. “Maybe I was embarrassed, but I don’t want to be. I shouldn’t be. I just-” Her words get faster and faster, “-I just, when Lux was there and I didn’t know what she’d think, and, what if she-”

You grab her hand with yours. “Hey.”

She focuses back on you. Takes a deep breath. “Hey.” 

You move your eyes up to look into hers. “You’re not mad at me?”

“What?” She seems shocked. “No, Jinx, I-”

“Hey.” You interrupt her by squeezing her hand. She stops. “Then it’s okay. Don’t apologize when you didn’t do anything.”

“But…” Now it's her turn to avoid your eyes. “I was scared. I didn’t want Lux to think…” she laughs a little bit, “...I don’t even know.” She shakes her head and her face puts on a sort of sad, guilty copy of her smile. “I just, I wanted Lux to think good of me more than I was willing to be myself. And I don’t like that!” Seraphine looks up at your face again. “I really like you, Jinx, and I hate that I tried to hide that.” She looks down and stops talking. 

You stare at her hand and think over her words. “What…” You shake your head, feeling one of your braids hit against the side of your thigh. “What do you mean by hide?”

She blushes and barely turns her head away from you, then takes a deep breath like she does when she’s about to start performing. Inhale, exhale. 

“I was nervous that Lux might be… uncomfortable.” Seraphine doesn’t look at you, so you look at the side of her head while squeezing her hand. 

“And I wanted to be safe and helpful so I had us leave right after we started talking to you.” You let your head slowly drift down until your forehead rests on her shoulder. 

“I didn’t even realize at the time, but I was embarrassed. I didn’t want to show you to Lux. I’m really sorry for that. That isn’t at all fair.” Seraphine’s throat sounds like it’s starting to close on her. “I need to be better. But Jinx, I…” She sniffles. “I…” 

You feel Seraphine start to shake even as she tries to conceal the few tears that appear on her face. Slowly, you shift your body so that you can wrap both of your arms around the shorter girl and pull her into you. You feel her take deep breaths against your shoulder. 

“I’m okay.” She whispers. “I’m okay.”

“I’m here.” Is all you respond.

One hand you rub in circles against her shoulder blade. The other you run through her long hair. You don’t close your eyes, just stare off into the distance. She isn’t mad at you. She still wants to be your friend.

Chapter Text

For a few days now, Seraphine had been joining you for lunch. Sometimes Lux and Ekko were there, sometimes they had something else to do. It was nice. Lux turned out to be really nice and also easy to tease. You had the grace to pretend that Seraphine had never cried into your arms about her. She did the same in turn.

There was still a voice in your head counting down each happy moment until Seraphine would realize that she should hate you, but for now it was nice. The two of you were able to talk about nothing at all. She promised to beat you at Mario Kart. You complained about the cold weather. She mourned the dead flowers. You cheered for bad graffiti found under the table.

At one point she brought up that she was single, but unhappy about it, especially since there was somebody she liked. You felt awkward at how much she was staring at you. She then said that she would rather be asked out than ask anybody out herself. She had flushed when you told her that that was unfortunate, since she was attractive enough to get any girl ( or boy! , you quickly added,) that she wanted.

One day, Seraphine sat down with a sigh, which you knew meant that she wanted to complain about something.

“So,” she started, then slung her backpack off her pack. 

“What’s up, Ser-bear?” You reattempted to balance a spoon on your nose, leaning back enough to give Seraphine a good view of your nostrils. “Who’s the enemy today? Besides squirrels, obviously.”

“Squirrels?” She froze to look at you with confusion.

“Duhh!” You flicked your head down to look at her, which shot your spoon into your lap which then bounced onto the floor. You didn’t react. “They’re evil! They should be the enemy every day.”

Seraphine’s mouth hung wide while she shook her head back and forth. “Jinx Lastname! Squirrels are adorable!”

You shrugged as you retrieved your lost spoon. “I don’t know,” you said from under the table. “I just don’t trust them. What do they need all those nuts for, anyways?” 

Seraphine’s scoff turned into a smile as she took her first bite of food.

“The enemy today,” she explained, then leaned in closer to you, “is not squirrels!”

You blew a raspberry.

“The enemy is graphic design. I’m giving a very small little concert,” she twirled a fork in the air as she spoke, “and I need a picture to put on flyers and stuff. It’s really just a fancy playing test, but I’ve been struggling to find something to put on the poster. Just a selfie feels too mundane.” She rested her head in her free hand, then looked down at her food. “Maybe I should just do that, though.” 

“I think a selfie would probably be fine,” you said through a nose covered with a spoon. “If you’d like, I’m in classes with a bunch of art majors. They could probably draw you playing or something.” 

“What classes do you have that have so many art majors?”

“Art classes.” You slowly, carefully, removed your hand from the spoon where it rested on the tip of your nose.

“Wait… are you an art major?”

The spoon fell to the ground with a loud ring. “Yeah?”

Seraphine furrowed her eyebrows as she looked into your face. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

“You never asked.” 

“I- huh…” She blinked. “I guess not.” 

“Lol,” you said. “Lmao, even.”

“Jinx, I swear on all that is good in this world, say that again and if we ever live together, I’m getting a pet squirrel.”

“Lmao.” You looked away as your grin was overtaken by a wide blush. “Rofl.”

Seraphine put her head in her hands and made an exaggerated scream into them. You just laughed as you tried to calm your racing thoughts. It’s not normal for friends to talk about living together, right? But surely she wasn’t flirting. Certainly not with Jinx, of all people. She must just be being weird.

“Anyways,” Seraphine said, firmer than was strictly necessary. “If you’re an art major too, why not have you draw something? I mean- not that you have to- I just…”

“You don’t want something I’ve drawn.” You made a face of disgust. “I promise there’s so many better people to ask than me.”

“Hey!” Seraphine firmly placed her hands palm down on the table. “You aren’t allowed to be mean to my friend!” 

You just froze at her scolding. 

“I’m sure that you are a wonderful artist, Jinx! And-” She pointed a finger close to your face. “-even if you aren’t, maybe I still want your art!” She thrust her chin out as if to appear bigger. “That’s my decision to make!” 

You didn’t realize you were holding your breath until you let it go. You looked down, then felt the heat covering your cheeks. 

“I- well…” You fidgeted with your hands. Seraphine said nothing.

You slouched down into yourself. “I guess.” The words tore at your throat on their way out.

“Good.” Seraphine said. “You’re drawing something.”

“So how should I pose?” Seraphine asked once she took her violin out of her case.

“Handstand,” you offered. “Splits. Floating in the air. Flipping the bird.” 

Seraphine’s smile broke into a laugh. “Be serious, Jinx.” 

You dramatically covered your gasp with a hand. “You wound me, Pinkie. I’m always serious.”

Seraphine raised her eyebrows.

“I’m mostly serious.”

She looked at you even harder.

“Fine!” You threw your hands up, then collapsed your legs to sit yourself on the grass beneath you. “You got me! I dyed the porofessor’s fur pink.” 

Seraphine’s lips pursed. “Professor Heimerdinger’s poro is pink now?”

“Yup!” You popped the p. “As of yesterday.” You leaned backwards into the grass and closed your eyes to the distant sun. “Allegedly.”

“Well, I guess I shouldn’t be too surprised.” Nothing but the top of her pink hair was visible to you from your position on your back. It was a nicer shade of pink than the poro got to be. “That being said, as much as I may want to lie with you, Jinx, there is something that we’re here to do which doesn’t involve a bed. Of grass.”

What kind of person calls a lawn a ‘bed of grass?’ Putting aside that thought, you jumped up and considered how to best look at Seraphine. The violin definitely had to be in the frame, for one. You hummed as you bobbed around her in order to look at all the possible angles. Struck by a rare point of brilliance, you squatted down in front of her so that you had to look up to see her face. 

“Oh.” You felt blood start to slowly flow to your cheeks as Seraphine looked down on you, a confused look on your face.

“Oh?” She asked. “Should I pretend to be playing? Would that help?”

Seraphine stood up straighter to balance her bow on the bridge of her violin. Her arms stayed perfectly still, firm yet relaxed. Her line of vision pointed slightly off to the side and over your head. Her bright hair framed her pointed face beautifully, head barely tilted to fit into the chin-rest. 

“Jinx? You’re okay?” Fuck. She caught you staring. 

“Uhh yeah of course! I’m great, Sparkles,” you lie. This girl is way too pretty.

She smiles. “Do you think this would be a good angle for it?”

“Pfft, I guess.” You spin your head to put some motion into your braids. “If you insist.” You smile so she knows that you’re not being serious.

The violin goes back up, the bow rises to meet it, and Seraphine is back in her playing position. You study her with an artist’s eye. Eyes bluer than the sky and hair brighter than the sun. When she stands over you like this, she looks like she could play for kings and queens. But here she is in front of you. 

You grab your paper and colored pencils. The colors would be important here. Seraphine is far too bright to be captured in monochrome. Her hair flows in the breeze and her eyes gently close and open again. The practical clothes she wears perfectly match with her instrument, giving the impression of a performer who is down to earth. 

However long it took for you to sketch her likeness, Seraphine never relaxed her posture or voiced a complaint. Only a quiet “okay, I’m done,” released a heavy sigh from her mouth. In a moment, the prestigious, world renowned artist Seraphine disappeared, in her place was your Songbird, a highschool band kid who probably watched cat videos in her free time. The first woman’s shadow was barely able to fit within the confines of your paper. The second woman was fully present in her wide smile and the soft laugh she made as she put away her instrument. 

“Can I see it?” she asked.

“And ruin the surprise?” You stood up, knees protesting at the sudden strain.

“I have looked in a mirror before, you know,” she teased.

You sighed animatedly, bending yourself half over so that you were shorter than Seraphine for a moment. “Fineeee.”

When you turned over your quick sketch, Seraphine’s eyes went wide.

“Jinx… this is beautiful.”