Chapter Text
He had put it off for long enough; Felix needed to go to the DMV. While many describe it as hell on earth, Felix felt like it was more of a purgatory. The gray vinyl tile of the entryway led to a musty carpet — the color of which would be best described as “swampy.” It was uncomfortably warm in the building, and the waiting room seats were too close to each other. Honest to God, if he sat down on one of those crappy folding chairs and felt a stranger’s thigh touching his, he would have to run out of the building. There were worse places to be under worse circumstances, but on Felix’s mental list of top ten least favorite places, the DMV sat at a solid number four.
“I’m here for a gender marker change,” Felix said flatly to the DMV employee he was assigned to after waiting an inordinate amount of time. He prepared for—no, he expected the worst interaction of all time.
The clerk looked up from his computer and smiled. He was admittedly cute, with soft, dark brown eyes and freckles dotting his round cheeks. His auburn hair framed his face with perfect loose curls, and his smile formed light dimples in his cheeks. He wore a blue dress shirt that was unbuttoned a few inches down, showing a hint of chest hair peeking through. A name tag that read Sylvain pierced the cotton of his shirt.
“What’s your name?“
“Felix.” He handed him his existing license, still in the old vertical format from when he was eighteen.
Sylvain looked at the plastic card for a moment and then inserted it into a scanner. “Congrats,” he said, looking up at him, “on the gender, I mean.“
“Thanks.”
“Take a seat, handsome,” Sylvain said.
Felix sat down and handed Sylvain the stack of documents: a form detailing his request for his name and gender change, the letter from his doctor detailing his HRT status, and a money order that was required for the transaction to take place. (He had to go all the way to the bank to get that one. Why couldn’t he just write a check or put some fucking cash in an envelope?)
“Oh, shoot,” Sylvain said as he glanced over Felix’s completed application. “You filled out the wrong form.”
“You’re fucking joking. That’s impossible. I downloaded this from your website.”
“See, you were supposed to fill out form, uh…” Sylvain opened a file cabinet and dug around for a moment, pulling out a sheet of paper, “form VL-1.” He handed the page to Felix.
“This is an application for registering a boat. There’s something wrong with you.”
“Yeah, so, those forms are, like, outdated.” Sylvain clicked his tongue. “Now you have to do this one. Trust me; I know what I’m talking about. Go ahead and fill it out. No rush, of course.”
Felix reluctantly took a pen from the “clean” pen cup and did his best to fill out the form. He knew Sylvain was playing some sort of stupid game. Maybe it was his sheer fascination that someone could be so (intentionally?) bad at their job that made him want to stay and see how things played out.
“Okay,” he said when he was done, “I didn’t know what to put for ‘vessel model’ and ‘vessel manufacturer,’ so I just put ‘Sylvain’ and ‘Bureaucratic Incompetency.’”
“Aww, you remembered my name.” Sylvain smiled, his eyes crinkling at the corners as dimples formed on his cheeks. Fuck. “Thank you, gorgeous.”
A blush crept across Felix’s face. “Are we done?”
“Almost.” Sylvain pulled out yet another form and scribbled something in the margins. He handed it to Felix. “Fill this last one out, and maybe call me sometime.”
“Okay,” Felix began as he took the sheet from Sylvain’s annoyingly soft hands, “I have to give this back to you, so you putting your phone number on it doesn’t make sense, like, as a gesture. Am I to memorize it while I fill out a—” he glanced down at the form’s title, “—an application for a license to drive a semi? Will I then be wooed by your inability to function in a workplace setting, so much so that I decide to call you?”
Sylvain smiled sheepishly. “Yes?” he said, drawing out the end of the word in a question like he was afraid Felix was going to clock him on the side of his head.
He could if he wanted to. He stared at Sylvain in a blank silence. Someone coughed in the background. “You’re weird. Can we just finish this up already?”
“Right, yeah.” Sylvain’s face turned red as he sifted through the papers on his desk and began typing things into his computer.
“This is embarrassing for you,” Felix added.
A nervous chuckle. “I know that. You don’t have to point it out. You’re just,” he stopped typing to make eye contact with him, “really attractive. I get nervous around hot guys, you know.”
Felix rolled his eyes but blushed nonetheless. He was never one to attract the attention of hot men, probably because of his less-than-sunny disposition. And Sylvain was really hot. He fiddled with the hairband on his wrist while silently trying to beat back the side of him that wanted to follow this arguably questionable man home.
“Gimme that.” Felix snatched the semi-truck application from Sylvain’s desk. He pulled out his phone and added Sylvain as a contact.
“Change your mind so soon?” Sylvain asked with a raised eyebrow.
“Shut up.”
Sylvain giggled, regaining a little bit of his confidence. “Okay,” he said, “now stand here and look at the camera.” He pointed at an X marked with partially peeled away duct tape on the ground. “You’re allowed to smile, you know,” he said after a moment.
Felix frowned in spite. “Just take the damn picture.”
Sylvain took the damn picture, but not without telling him he looked “lovely.”
“Are we done yet?” Felix huffed.
The only thing keeping him from taking his documents and leaving was his utter disdain at the idea of having to come back to the DMV again. It definitely wasn’t that he found Sylvain charming in a pathetic way. That would be ridiculous.
“Just about,” Sylvain said.
He typed a few more things into his computer and then handed Felix his forms and doctor’s letter along with a temporary paper ID. “You should be good now. Your new card should arrive within 30 days, but—and I’m not supposed to say this—the gears around here grind pretty slowly. So it might be a little longer. And seriously, congratulations. This is a pretty big deal.”
Felix’s lips curved up by an eighth of an inch. “Thanks.”
***
It was so, so stupid, but Felix could not get Sylvain out of his mind. He had to have drained at least a quarter of his phone battery by staring blankly at Sylvain’s page in his contacts. I wonder how he would have posed if I took a profile picture of him, Felix thought. He found himself wishing that he did, so he could have a picture to look at. His round face and soft brown eyes would look so pretty on his screen. Before long, six o’clock rolled around, and Felix had wasted an entire afternoon on nothing. Not even on flirting; he hadn’t even reached out to Sylvain yet.
He turned his options over in his mind like some sort of rotisserie date-chicken. He didn’t really want to go on a date. Dates were uncomfortable and awkward for him; he never really knew what to do or say. People just tended to find him weird. He did want to hook up, though. Of course, he would have to be stupid to text this man just to hook up.
Felix was feeling stupid. Or maybe he was just hungry.
He trudged into the kitchen and pulled a fitting half-eaten rotisserie chicken out from the fridge, cutting off a large chunk and putting it in the microwave. It wasn’t exactly fine dining, but he didn’t want to deal with cooking something. Only a split second of forethought passed before he pulled out his phone and started typing.
Felix: u were pretty desperate today
Felix: its felix from the smv btw
Felix: dmv*
Sylvain texted back almost immediately.
Sylvain: what can i say ;) i want you
Alright, play it cool, Felix thought.
Felix: so do u wanna fuck me or not
A little more forward than he initially intended, but getting straight to the point was always Felix’s preferred method of communication. Sylvain didn’t respond as quickly this time. Oh, God, he thought, though he wasn’t sure why he cared.
The microwave beeped in the background, and Felix tried to distract himself from the thrill of saying something so sexual to a real, human person by digging into the chicken with a fork and knife.
He nearly knocked the chicken carcass off the counter when his phone buzzed again.
Sylvain: that’s what i was getting at sweetheart ;) but i didn’t think you would be so point blank ;)
Sylvain’s use of winky faces in place of punctuation fit his persona perfectly.
Sylvain: let me take you out. pick anywhere you want, it’s my treat 😚
Felix: thats not nesecary
Felix: nesessary* or however thats spelled
He suppressed the need to elaborate.
Sylvain: look who’s desperate now
Another text came while Felix was in the middle of typing a very good comeback that was definitely much wittier than “you’re one to talk.”
Sylvain: we’ll meet at my apartment tomorrow night at 7. i can make you something if you get hungry ;)
Sylvain’s ability to make anything sound like an innuendo was unfortunately working in his favor. He sent his address a moment later. He’s lucky he’s hot , Felix thought.
Felix: k
***
That night, Felix couldn’t help but think about Sylvain. All the stupid things that he tried to ignore about him permeated his thoughts. And when he slipped his hand into his boxer briefs in the darkness of his room, he thought of how his soft hands would feel touching his breasts and how hot and wet his lips would feel sucking on his clit. He dug out his sex toys in a frustrated heat and picked the biggest one. This is what Sylvain would feel like , he decided as he fucked himself.
Oh God, Felix was really in for it now.