Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

“Class dismissed.”

Mon slumped over on her note-filled desk with a sigh. “I don’t think I’ve ever struggled so much in a class before.”

Mon was a junior at Diversity University, majoring in business. Stumped on what to pick as a major three years prior, she ended up with this, in hopes of a lucrative career. She’s never had any challenges academically, but it did not come to her easily. Now that she was done with her general education classes, she didn’t realize how serious things would get. She found herself growing a little more confused as the years went on.

Yuki leaned on her elbow, looking at her best friend. She was also a junior, who met Mon upon searching for a roommate. Her major was communications.

“Yuki, you have to help me.” Mon lifted her head from her arms.

“I’m no smarter than you.”

It was true, Yuki was more of a carefree student. Any free time she had was spent being the social butterfly she was. She was more at college for the experience, a way different reason than Mon’s. Yet, their two personalities clicked freshman year. They worked, the extroverted friend and the introvert friend, who had been pushed to be an ambivert.

“I’m seeing it now. This final is literally going to kill me.” Mon stressed.

“You’re too over dramatic. There’s still plenty of time till then.” Yuki reassured, patting the top of her head. “And before then, you need to go ask for help from the professor.”

“Yeah, you’re right,” she agreed, “Wait for me?”

Yuki nodded and gave her a thumbs up. Mon packed her things and flung her backpack over her shoulders. She made her way down the steps of the lecture room before she reached Mr. Pon. He set down his clicker for the projector and tidied up his area.

Mon cleared her throat, “Excuse me, Mr. Pon?”

“Ah, Ms. Petchphailin. Can I help you with anything?” he turned around to face her.

“Yes, actually. I have not been fully comprehending the new material as much as I need to. Do you have time for a few questions?” she questioned.

He let out a noise of sorry. “I actually have to get going to a meeting in a few minutes.”

“I promise it won’t take long, I just wanted to ask about–”

“Perhaps you can ask one of your peers so you aren't left clueless for now.” he interrupted, and scratched his beard. Jeez.

“How about…” he pointed across the room to a student getting ready to leave the classroom, “Sam Anantrakul?”

The woman perked after hearing her name. Mon followed the pointed finger to her, her heart quickly skipping a beat upon realizing who she was looking at. Sam was probably the smartest girl at school, and the most intimidating at that. She had a look that could kill from miles away. She didn’t speak much, if at all. Always coming to classes in the most fashionable outfits, yet barely letting anyone beyond the proximity of the rooms see them because she was always studying.

Instead of verbally responding, Sam gave him a stony stare.

Without a second thought, Mon nervously turned back to the professor. “That really isn’t necessary,”

Sam wasn’t the type of girl that anyone could approach casually. She was far too menacing, and most of the school knew that. That hadn't stopped the boys shooting their shot with her, but always being harshly rejected. But who wouldn’t take a liking to the woman– tall, intelligent, strikingly gorgeous with her long dark hair and brown eyes. Any person would be lucky to be able to say they were even friends with Sam Anantrakul.

“Come here please.”

It wasn’t his place to insist, and yet he did. Packing away her tote bag, she made her way over to the two. Her eyes were filled with question. She gripped the straps around her shoulder and waited for either of them to speak.

Mon backed away a little as she neared, letting Mr. Pon do the talking she really didn’t want him to do. Fearing her bodily functions would stop working, she avoided any eye contact with Sam. She fiddled with her own fingers.

“Mon here seems to be having trouble with the material. Could you give her a hand as my top-student?”

This wasn’t an all uncommon encounter. All of Sam’s professors obviously knew how intelligent she was, and expected nothing but the best from her. They expected her to go above and beyond. Whether she actually took her teacher’s pleas were up to her judgment.

Her gaze turned to the slightly hidden woman. Even a mostly self-assured girl like Mon could be cowered by just the mere presence of Sam. She studied all of her, how she looked, her emotions, her shy demeanor. Was she really worth her time? Sam knew nothing about her, only seeing her during small passes between classes. Not that she ever paid attention, anyways.

Finally, Mon looked at Sam, taking in the sight in front of her. She couldn’t help but think about how beautiful Sam was up close, wearing long dress pants and a classy black leather jacket. Her luscious hair was tied by a claw clip and she stood confidently.

The question in her look grew to intriguement and annoyance. Mon gulped and decided to step in.

“You really don’t have to, I don’t want to take up any of your time.” she sweetly said, not wanting to cause any inconvenience to Sam.

Sam stared straight into her eyes. Before she could say anything, Mon spoke up again.

“Seriously, I can just come during office hours,” she went on, “You can go about your day, I wouldn’t want to be any bother. I know you’re probably super busy and stuff,” and on, “I just need to sleep on it.” and on.

Hm. Sam found it amusing how she kept talking. But really, how much she considered if it would trouble her. She could tell she was nervous, but the words were still among the highest number of what people had spoken to her. She didn’t usually agree to these things, but something in her told her to. As annoying as it would be, an hour or two of her time could be spared.

“I’ll help you.” she offered, still with a cold face.

Mon was stunned by the response.

“Perfect!” The professor picked up his lunch bag and went on to leave. “Thank you, Ms. Anantrakul. I expected nothing less of you. Feel free to stay in the classroom, the door will lock on your way out.”

And like that, it was just them and Yuki in the room. She was on her phone, pretending she wasn’t watching their every move. Especially intrigued by hearing Sam speak, she had to be nosy.

“Are you sure you want to?” Mon asked, needing extra confirmation as her agreement surprised her, “I don’t want you to feel forced or anything.”. She stepped a little closer now that the space of the extra person was open.

“Mm, it’s fine.” she settled. If she asked any more times, she’d start to think otherwise.

The longer Sam was in front of Mon, the more she admired her. She was drop-dead gorgeous, and her nerves didn’t do well in front of pretty women. Mon was tense and tried not to show it. She had to think harder than usual to come up with what to say next.

“Do you have time right now?” she questioned.

“I have my next class soon, but I can meet with you later in the North Library around 5.”

“Okay! I can book us a study room.”

Sam nodded. There was a short pause.

“I really appreciate your offering.” Mon expressed. She tried to lighten up.

Only nodding again, Sam turned around and made her way out of the class.

The way she simply left had Mon second-guessing the whole interaction. She was so straight-spoken, for lack of a better word. That was the most she’s ever heard her speak, and she didn’t know whether she was more or less intimidating than before. Simply asking Mr. Pon for help led to having to spend time with Sam, alone. Yuki hurried over to her.

“Wow. She is so mysterious.” Yuki stated, with a strange face.

“Yeah…” Mon put a hand over her stomach. Whether it was her taut intestines or butterflies could not be determined at the moment.

“No way you’re going to be with her that long alone, that’ll be the first time anyone here ever has.” she said, half-sarcastic.

Mon walked alongside her friend. “I’m sure it’ll be fine. She can’t be more menacing than she was right now.. seriously, who just walks out like that?”

“Let’s hope you make it out alive.” Yuki put a supportive hand on Mon’s shoulder.

Mon let out a slight laugh and shooed Yuki’s hand away. “Stop it. What if she’s just, like, really shy?”

Sure, mysterious she was. But to barely be seen with others, to barely be seen doing anything other than studying, she wondered what her deal was. Mon grew exponentially curious the more she thought about it. Sam didn’t seem specifically mean during their first meeting, but that didn’t mean she seemed nice either. She wanted to know more about her.

“She looks so confident, though.” Yuki thought.

“Definitely, and even cooler up close. Oh my god, she’s literally the prettiest girl I’ve ever seen. And her super dark eyes, I swear, they are just the most enchanting pools of brown.” Mon blabbered, unaware of what she was saying.

Yuki smirked. “Of course you would notice that.”

“What?” she looked at Yuki, before realizing what she was trying to get across. Mon rolled her eyes. “Oh, shut up Yuki.”

“I didn’t say anything.” she shrugged, as they approached the part of their walk where they part ways. “Okay, I’m off to journalism. I’m going out with Tee and some others later, so don’t be surprised if I come back late.”

“Got it. See you later.”

“Mhm! And Mon, good luck. Text me if she tries any mean girl shit with you.”

“Right, right.”

They waved their goodbyes, and Mon headed to one of her favorite spot’s on campus. A secluded area, where she could sit down and enjoy peacefulness. The reason being: She wanted to read over her textbook again to try to gain a little more knowledge before she sees Sam. She thinks it would be embarrassing to go into the room with her and be super clueless to the woman. She was super smart after all, and Mon didn’t want her to think too lowly of her. That’s all it was.

On the way, she picked up a milk tea with boba to ease her anxious thoughts. She sat down, and got to work with what time she had.

–-------------------------

It was now 6 p.m. Mon had arrived at the library 20 minutes prior, patiently sitting on one of the benches out front. ‘Around 6’ was too vague for her, and she didn't want to risk being late, because what a terrible second-impression that would make. Though they had only just met, she had already found herself trying hard to make Sam think nothing bad of her.

5 minutes later, a tall figure was appearing in her peripheral vision. Turning her head, she saw that leather jacket from earlier and immediately stood up. She put her hands behind her back until it was the appropriate distance to wave.

Sam found it comical. People don’t wave these days, and the way she waved was giant and funny, like a little kid. She didn’t do it back, but acknowledged her with a small upturn of the corners of her mouth.

“Hello, Mon.” Sam said upon reaching her.

Mon shuddered internally after hearing her name.

“Hi, Sam. Thank you so much for coming, I booked us room 4.” The thought that she wouldn’t show up did cross her mind, but she didn’t want to have so little faith in a person she just met.

“Okay,” Sam walked to the doors of the North Library to open one for Mon. Mon entered and turned her head slightly downwards as she passed her to express her gratitude. Sam went ahead again, leading them to the room. Mon followed behind, as if she were a duckling. Her heart was pounding a bit faster than usual, and she had that feeling in her stomach again. She tried to keep herself calm for the sake of not having Sam take note that she’s nervous.

She opened the door for her again, and they arrived at the study room. The bright fluorescent lights beamed on a table with many chairs. The whiteboard in the space had many doodles from whoever had previously used it. Sam set her tote bag down on the table and sat down.

Mon acted in accordance and sat down next to her. She didn’t exactly know how to start this.

“I’m sorry again that Mr. Pon called you out to do this. Just know I’m super thankful.”

“It makes sense that he would. I’m the top student.” she boasted, “Plus, I wouldn’t have said yes if I really didn’t want to.”

The last sentence reassured Mon, and even made her a little happy to know she at least wanted to be here. She looked into her lap and toyed with her hands

“So, what’s your main point of confusion?”

Mon swallowed. “Uhh, I guess all the terms are just really confusing to me. It’s a lot, and how they intertwine and everything… it all feels like one big jumble.” Saying this to Sam felt like telling an extremely embarrassing secret.

“Mm.” Her eyes shifted upwards, signifying that she was thinking.

Mon felt unnecessary pressure on herself as Sam was in thought. She could be thinking millions of things, maybe good, maybe bad.

“Get your notes out.” she ordered.

“Sure, one sec.” Mon rummaged through her backpack to pull out her notebook. She flipped through the pages to the lecture where she first started getting confused. Putting it in front of Sam, she felt nervous to have her read her notes.

Sam analyzed them, turning to a few pages. “Well, one thing I can tell right now is that your notes are super jumbled. You’re not going to understand anything if you’re writing it down messy. And, some of these definitions are just not right.”

“Oh,” Mon slid her notebook back closer to her to look at it more. Sam was right, it was messy. She herself couldn’t even read some parts.

Sam saw Mon looking over the pages with a dispirited look in her eyes. She didn’t mean to come off harsh, but she often does when she gives straight forward answers. She tried to soften the impact.

“But… if that’s how you usually do your notes and it works, then don’t listen to me. I’m just saying, there’s usually correlation to messy notes. Still, you need to fix your definitions.”

“No, I think you're right.” Mon got a textbook out. She started erasing and crossing things out. “Let me fix these really quick so we can move on.”

Turning her head to look at Sam, she said with a smile, “Thanks for the tip.”

Holding back a smile, she nodded. From what she’s seen of Mon, she was a sweet girl. The way she looked at her made her feel unusually… soft.

---------

In the hour that had gone by, tension was slowly released. Sam talked away a storm trying to help Mon comprehend concepts. Mon was sitting weirdly, but comfortably in her chair, and she was munching on a chocolate-chip muffin she made in her floor’s communal kitchen, since they had decided to wrap the session up.

Sam was doing something on her phone, in an effort to make herself look busy to give her a reason to not make any small talk with the younger woman sitting beside her.

Mon ripped a piece off of the muffin and extended it out to Sam. She averted her eyes from her phone to the hand.

“Handmade. Want some?” Mon said, muffled because of a full mouth.

“I’m okay.”

“Are you sure? They’re really good, made with lots of love.”

“Did you make them?”

“Mhm.”

Sam then took the slice because Mon made it. “Thank you.” It would be rude to refuse a special patry she made. Biting into it, a perfectly sweet flavor exploded into her mouth. It was delicious.

“This is really tasty, Mon.” she continued to eat the rest.

“I’m glad. It’s my mother’s recipe.”

“She must be a good baker then.” Sam wiped her mouth of any crumbs that might’ve stuck.

“Oh, the best! And cook at that.” Mon lit up talking about her mother.

Mon’s mom was her best friend all throughout her life. She raised her alone, and since she had no siblings, she always had the favorite treatment. With no help of a second parent, her mother had to work especially hard to take care of her. And she did amazing. Any chance she got to brag about her mom would be taken.

After Mon finished her piece, she leaned her elbow on the table and rested her head on her hand, looking at Sam. Sam took note of this and looked back, flipping her phone over on the table.

“You know, you’re really good at explaining things,” Mon wanted to continue having a conversation with her. “I’ve never heard you speak before. Who knew you had all those words in you.”

Sam was a little taken aback. “Well, I have no need to.”

“I guess. You must be super focused on your studies.” Mon had curiosity in her eyes.

“Yeah.” Sam swirled circles with her finger on the table. She’s heard that before.

“All props to you.”

‘It’s nothing impressive.”

They both looked at the imaginary circles Sam was creating for a while.

“When do you want to meet next?” Sam’s eyes stayed away from Mon.

“Next?” Mon didn’t think she insinuated that she needed to get together a second time.

“I can tell you’re going to need more help before the test next week.”

Sam could in fact not tell this, but something about this girl intrigued her. These sessions also helped her out, in the way that she was reviewing what she knew. Mon wasn’t sure if she was supposed to feel hurt or something, but if it meant hanging out with Sam again she didn’t mind.

“I’ll take the expert’s word on it.” she looked at a calendar on her phone, “I have some time Tuesday?”

“That works.” Sam confirmed. “Give me your phone. You’ll have my number in case anything comes up.”

Mon gave her phone that was protected by a sparkly pink case. A girl was entering her number on her phone, the girl that was known as quiet and scary. Internally, she slightly panicked. It was the gay in her. It wasn’t as a friend thing, but a just in case thing, so she didn’t know why she felt as she did.

The contact she made was simple. Just ‘Sam’ as the name, with the classic gray S as the picture.

“I’ll book the room again.” she said. Sam nodded in agreement.

Mon stood up and pushed her chair in. “I’ll get going, then. Thank you so much again. I feel much more confident about all of it.”

“You’re welcome.” she watched her get up.

“Before I go, have this.” She pulled out a little baggie that contained a whole muffin, one like the one they shared earlier. Holding it out in front of her with two hands, she said, “I insist. Another token of my appreciation.”

Once again, Sam couldn’t refuse. When she took the bag, her fingers grazed over Mon’s.

“I’ll see you around!” Mon did her interesting wave again, and left the room.

Once Sam knew she was out of Mon’s viewing range, she let out a big sigh. She put a hand up to her cheek, and felt her hot face. She fidgeted with the muffin. It was a feeling she had never felt before.

Chapter Text

All she could do was stare. Mon had her head in her hands, looking a few rows below hers at a beautiful woman. She was again in the class she shared with Sam and Yuki, 2 days after her study session with Sam. Even more fascinated with her since their time alone, she couldn’t wait to see Sam again. She admired the way she looked so focused, so dedicated. It might’ve been a stupid thing to notice, but Sam was so cool in her eyes.

Her hard staring was interrupted when Sam stood up. Looking around the classroom, she realized everyone was starting to do the same. She swiftly diverted her eyes from her and onto her own empty notebook page. Time had passed rapidly, and she had spent it all looking at Sam.

“Jeez, Mon. You’ve got a staring problem.” Yuki said, not facing her but rather putting all her things away.

Mon didn’t know what had gotten into her. There’s no way she could be in such a trance from a girl she knows nothing about. She didn’t write anything down from today’s lecture, and for sure would face some consequences, already struggling as is.

Mon sighed. “And you didn’t think to snap me out of it?”

“I didn’t want to disrupt your little daydream.”

Not a daydream exactly, because she was actually right in front of her. Sam, leaving, walked up the stairs and passed right by Mon. Mon thought about saying hi, but her eyes were locked on the door in her usual daunting face. It was a sunny day out, so Sam was wearing a shoulder-accentuating tank top with a long denim skirt. She also had her headphones on, another reason Mon didn’t greet her.

Yuki also saw her go. “I forgot to ask, how did it go with her Wednesday?” she asked Mon, waiting to leave together.

“It was good, I think.” Mon got up and they walked along. “She actually can talk a lot, if she wants to.”

Mon would have fallen asleep if anyone else had talked to her as much as Sam did that evening. She had a voice that was powerful, yet delicate. She remembers being in awe at how well she was able to explain the concepts to her, and surprisingly makes it really interesting.

“You hold a powerful secret, Mon” Yuki joked, “Was she super scary?”

Mon thought about this. She didn’t see the scary front that everyone did. “No, not really. We actually had some regular conversation too. I think I was the one doing most of the talking, but,” she was unconsciously putting doubt in her words.

“Then is she shy?” she interrogated, upon remembering when Mon was coming up with excuses as to why Sam was the way she was.

“Mmm... I don’t think shy is the word. I would say reserved. She even gave me her number so we could have another session next week.”

“Woah. Another one?”

“Yeah, and I didn’t even ask.” Mon was surprised too. She didn’t even dare to ask to meet up again, feeling sorry that she ended up ‘tutoring’ her. That professor had some nerve.

“Interesting. The friendless girl wants to be friends with Kornkamon Petchphailin.”

“I wouldn’t say friends. She said she thinks I was going to need more help before next week’s test.”

“I don’t know Mon,” Yuki stretched out the words to indicate a playful tone, “She made the first move to see you again. Sounds like she's interested in you.”

Mon felt her face turning a light shade of pink. “Sure.” she also stretched out that word.

Mon didn’t need her best friend feeding into her self-called delusions. It is true that Sam made the move to get together again, but it was just to study. It benefited both of them after all. There was still a lingering thought in the back of her head, though. Sam is never seen with anyone, ever. The fact that she wanted to see Mon again could mean something more significant.

“Are you doing anything later?” Mon changed the subject. She needed to get her mind off this girl.

Yuki groaned, “I’m working. What a Friday night.”

“Aww, no! I wanted to go stock up on snacks with you. We are running low.”

“Bummer.”

“I’ll still go. You go get your bag.”

“The working husband and the stay at home wife.” Yuki teased. Mon laughed and nudged into her while walking.

Yuki stopped and reached behind to unzip her bag. She fiddled with the insides before finding her wallet and pulling it out. Opening the pockets, she pulled out some bills and handed them to Mon. They equally contribute to the food of their humble abode.

Mon pushed her money filled hand back to her. “You paid last time, remember? It’s my turn.”

“You’re right!” she flopped her head down on Mon’s shoulder for a quick moment. “Where would I be without you?”

Mon smiled and scratched Yuki’s head. “Anything special you want me to get this time?”

“Not that I can think of. Oh, but do not forget my salmon skin chips. Seriously.”

“I promise.”

And with that, Mon made her way to their local asian grocery store, which was about a 20 minute walk away. The sun was beaming brightly, hitting the campus in even the smallest of crevices. She took it all in during her walk, feeling so great on her skin.

Diversity University was located in the green mountains of a smaller suburban city. Not high enough where they were isolated, but perfectly in the center. The school itself had a population of around 10,000 students. The romanesque style of buildings with modern touches on campus is what captured the eyes of many. It was especially grand at night, when the yellow toned lights turned on. If Mon thought hard enough, she could imagine that she was in France.

People were all around, all going their own way. It was so interesting to her how everyone was here with their own dreams and aspirations. She loved college, and the freedom that came with it. As scary as it was at first, look at her, walking on her own to get groceries for her little home. She never thought she’d move across the world to go to school, but was glad she did.

The street was busy with kids getting out of a nearby school and heading home. She popped in some earbuds and turned on some music to drown the sound of children, no offense to them. It started to feel uncomfortably hot, so Mon walked just a tad faster to reach the air-conditioned store.

Mon arrived at the mart and grabbed a hand basket. Scanning the aisles, she takes her time shopping. There was no rush, and she always liked to try something new every time she came here. That was classic of Mon, unafraid to test new waters.

After she’s gotten a variety, she heads to the Thai aisles to get her and Yuki’s classics. Freeze-dried durian, pretz, pork floss filled egg rolls– all essentials for their daily life. Mon squints as she searches for such items, taking her index finger side to side and up and down the rows of food. She backs up and turns to walk farther down the aisle she was in, when she sees someone looking directly at her.

The staring was completely obvious, the person not making an effort to hide it. It was Sam. She wanted her to know that she was staring. There she was with her own item filled basket, burning her eyes into Mon.

Mon was startled, almost jumping. Her first thought was if Sam had just saw her stupidly struggle to find what she was looking for, and the second was how long she had been there. It didn’t matter, because right now she was looking straight at her. Mon quickly pushed her hair behind her ears in an attempt to act composed.

“Oh, Hi Sam! I didn’t see you. I hope you weren’t watching for too long, that would be really embarrisi–”

“I didn’t know you were thai.” Sam interrupted her, and Mon was just glad to move on from the subject she had just brought up.

“I am. It’s been my home all my life till Diversity.”

Sam only bit the inside of her lips and nodded. Mon peeked at the contents of Sam’s basket, which were mostly all Thailand-originated products. She got a little excited.

Sam finally spoke, “I am too.”

“No way,” Mon was glad to know another person from her home country. She didn’t think before she said, “We should be friends, then.”

Sam didn’t know how to respond to this. Mon sounded like a kid on their first day of school brave enough to make any attempts to form a friendship. She respected that move. Truthfully, she had no friends at university and Mon didn’t seem that entirely bad. They were definitely different, but Sam appreciated how she hadn’t hidden herself around her. If she had the qualities to actually be her friend, would be determined.

“I guess so.” she said, but not in a doubtful tone.

Internally cheering, Mon gave her a toothless smile. She didn’t care if it wasn’t a yes, because she was slowly cracking herself onto Sam Anantrakul.

“So then I’m guessing Sam is short for?

“Samanun.”

Mon held her hand out towards the woman and responded, “Kornkamon.”

“Kornkamon… I like that.” she took her hand and they handshaked as if this was their first time meeting. Their palms were both warm from the unexpected encounter of seeing each other in the store.

Mon wanted to scream, but held it in. “Since we’re both here, can you give me a snack recommendation?”

Sam thought a little, and answered, “Follow me.”

Mon followed her to the next aisle over, incredibly happy like a little duckling. Sam led her to a sweet filled area before nonchalantly pointing to some coconut tapioca cookies that were slightly colored light shades of pink and orange.

“I like these.”

Mon picked the container up and inspected them. “They look so cute. I think I’ve had something like this before.”

She put them on top of her other items and said, “I’m sure they’ll be tasty. Thanks.”

Turning her head, she discovered that she spoke those words to no one because Sam was gone. Mon thought maybe she had just gone back to the previous aisle, and went to check. She wasn’t there either, and puzzled she was left. Sam didn’t give any farewells, and Mon’s happiness was quickly diminished. It was odd, making Mon faintly pout.

Disappointed, she carried on her shopping trip. Adding Yuki’s salmon skin chips and loads of ramen, she headed to check out. She still found it odd how Sam disappeared like she did and tried to make excuses in her head to cope. She bought two heavy bags of things, wishing she had a second help.

Mon braced herself for the sunshine she was about to be blasted with once she got outside. She was about to go the opposite way of Sam, who flagged her down so she wouldn’t. Sam was
staring at the entry, or rather at her.

Sam rubbed her arm. “It was cold in there. I wanted to wait out here.” she didn’t sound truthful when she said this because it was a lie. She was about to leave without her before realizing they were going to the same place.

Mon didn’t believe her because of the change in confidence she always had in her voice, but it was enough that she actually hadn’t left her.

They walked alongside each other. It was quiet for some minutes, with only sounds of cars passing and birds crowing. The sun was setting and the climate was exemplary. Sam took long, graceful strides, carrying her items in her previously empty tote bag. Mon didn’t think that far ahead, and sluggishly carried the bags. She would fall behind Sam if she wasn’t trying to keep up.

The peeking sun was kissing Sam’s skin in the most gorgeous way, and Mon took notice. She had to keep herself from watching her glowing face as they went.

Sam noticed Mon’s pink fingers from carrying the heavy bags and took one of them from her. She was walking easily, and thought that the girl beside her needed some assistance. Sam knew she’d refused if she offered her hand, so she just did so.

Mon gave her a thank you, grateful she didn’t have to be the one to ask.

Now that Sam knew Mon was also from Thailand, she had more questions. “What city are you from, Mon?”

“I’m from Bangkok!”

“Oh, me too.”

Mon figured. Sam was so classy, she could imagine that she lived in the most luxurious mansion there, with multiple floors and plenty of butlers.

“I’m also Mom Luang.”, Sam added.

Mon stopped in her tracks. She expressed a noise of surprise and tried to grab her grocery bag back from her. “I shouldn’t be treating you this way. I’m so sorry, I didn’t know.” She tugged at the bag, insisting she let go.

Sam didn’t, and almost laughed at Mon being so apologetic. “Mon, don’t be like that,” she grabbed Mon’s hand and dragged it away from the handle, “That means nothing here.”

It made total sense. If there was one word Sam was, it was royal. Everything about her screamed so.

“Are you sure? I feel like I should be carrying all your things right now and stop calling you just Sam.” Mon was worried she had messed up.

“We’re not in Thailand.”

“I guess…” Mon slightly covered her mouth out of shock and turned her head to her. “That’s so cool, though.”

Sam started to regret saying anything. Nobody knew anything about her status back in her home country, because it wasn’t a thing here. It was completely unimportant to her for the past years.

“You don’t have to think about it when I’m with you.” Sam looked away.

“I’m totally going to think about it. I’m in awe right now.”

Feeling a little shy, Sam played with the stitches in her skirt. Mon was now honored that she was even spending time with her. She had stars in her eyes from idolization and wondered how she had ended up in this city. It was so, so far away.

“I’m guessing you're also a business major then? You must have such a future ahead of you.”

“Yeah. It’s my last year.”

Mon immediately looked into the future and got sad to realize there would be a year of her schooling where Sam wouldn’t be there.

“Ahh. I’m just a junior.”

Sam turned and analyzed Mon’s face to see if she looked fit. She had a baby face, so junior seemed a little generous.

Mon got a smile on her face. She walked in front of Sam and turned around so she was walking backwards. This way, Sam could get a better look at her.

“Do I look it?”

Sam couldn’t help but also crack a smile, and shook her head. She swatted her own hand to her side to make Mon stop walking in front of her like she was. Mon didn’t listen and continued the risk of running into something just to be able to Sam’s face as they talked.

Their talk was very surface level, getting to know the main things about each other. The sun was set to where the sky was shades of blue a purple without its rays. There was no more silence.

“We have so much in common already.” Mon grinned.

She didn’t know that she was about to walk backwards into the street, till Sam quickly grabbed her wrist in front of her and pulled it close. Mon was startled, her body suddenly very close to Sam’s for an unknown reason. She looked up at her concern.

“Crosswalk.” Sam made strong eye contact with Mon.

Mon looked behind her at the intersection and turned her body back forward to walk correctly. “Oh,” She was so focused on Sam, she didn’t care where she was going. She was still holding her wrist, and was unsure whether she realized. One thing was for sure– she wasn’t going to tell her to let go.

Mon felt her hand get hot the more she stared at the hand that was gripped on her.

“My bad. Thank you, Lady Sam.”

And with that, Sam unhanded her quickly. “Wha–” she stumbled on whatever words she was trying to speak.

Laughing at her reaction, she crossed the street, not waiting for her. Sam speed-walked to her, wiping her face of any sign that she was flushed.

Chapter Text

Mon slammed her book shut. Her brain was full and her mind: overworked. She had just spent the last 2 hours of her life flooding her head with knowledge, or whatever Sam told her. It was nonstop with her. No breaks, no stops, just work. Mon wanted to tell her to slow down at times, but maybe her fast-talking was something she could get used to.

The hours seemed to fly by, as Sam had that effect. Mon wanted their time to be anything but over, so she was rapidly thinking of something to extend this moment together.

“Got it all?” Sam questioned, wanting to know if Mon captured everything she said.

Mon put her head into her crossed arms on the table in front of her. It was a lot, and she’s not sure she did.

“Hopefully.” The word echoed in the chamber she created with her head and arms.

Sam took notice of the despair in her voice and offered some words of encouragement, “It’s going to be fine. You kept up well.”

The ‘it’ she was talking about was the exam they had in class tomorrow. This was what their study session had been for, because Mon was struggling. Having Sam teach her was a motivation, though. She’d ace the entire class if she was rooting for her. She felt an invisible pressure to do so now. The woman’s instructions would not go to waste.

Mon appreciated the compliment. She unveiled her face so she’d be able to see Sam. Wondering if she felt as tired as she did being the one teaching, she examined her face. She looked perfectly awake and well. Maybe it was different because she wasn’t the one trying to grasp all the information. It was nighttime, but her eyelids stayed up and normal.

Sam had her legs crossed in her chair. She looked at the puppy-eyed woman who was obviously exhausted, and trying not to front it. Her hair was pulled into a low ponytail, a proof as to how studious she had been. She liked that she actively listened to her, unlike others she has done sessions with in the past.

“I feel way better about it than I did yesterday,” Mon cheered herself up, “I actually have faith for tomorrow, thanks to you.”

Sam gave her an awkward, sort of smile. She had exchanged them with her over the past week, whenever they made eye contact or walked past each other. This was unfamiliar to Sam. Always blurring everything in her vision as she walked her way was what she was used to, but all of a sudden she found herself looking at the world more. Especially in spots where she knew Mon would be present.

Her heart pounding when she knew she’d see her was a friend thing to do, she thought. She convinced herself it was nervousness because she didn’t have any other friends on campus. Completely disregarding that she didn’t feel that way towards her friends at home, it was normal. She’d known Jim and Kade since forever but didn’t remember her pulse increasing upon their early stages of friendship. She was a child then.

It had been a while since she made a new friend. That was all.

Little did she know that Mon was also extremely ecstatic to simply see her. Mon’s compact mirror was constantly being pulled out to check her own appearance. Lately, her makeup and outfits had been the best they’d ever been, on purpose. Hopefully, she didn’t come on too strong.

Upon the conversation, a stomach grumble was heard. Mon’s sleepy eyes suddenly filled with concern, and Sam crossed her arms over her stomach. How embarrassing, in a silent room she could not hide. Truthfully, she did not remember if she ever had dinner, and at that, lunch.

“Sammm…” Mon was about to scold her, “Did you not eat?”

This happens a lot to her. She can be quite forgetful if time persists.

“I don’t remember. Probably not.” she alleged.

She was embarrassed and knew Mon would dwell on this longer than she wished because that’s the type of person she was. It was clear in the short time that they’d known each other that Mon was actively caring.

“That’s not good.” Mon straightened up. “I think I might have something in my bag. Let me look.”

Sam put her hands up, telling her to not worry about it, but Mon was already worried. The thought that she hadn’t eaten because of their study session was growing in her mind and it didn’t sit right with her. She was feeling sorry, and got the quick idea of inviting her somewhere.

“If you come to my dorm, I can make you some ramen. You need to eat something.”

Sam’s immediate reaction was to decline, as one does. She didn’t want her to go through a hassle, and it was getting late.

“I have food. It’s okay.”

“It can be my thank you for helping me. I cook it really well in a rice cooker. I’m very handy.”

Mon’s heart started to pound. She didn’t realize what she was fully asking Sam to do. It might’ve put Sam in an awkward situation, and that is the last thing she wanted. It simply was just wanting to thank her, and a little bit of wanting to hang out with her more. She would cross her fingers if Sam wasn’t looking right at her.

To Sam, saying yes would mean seeing Mon’s dorm, her personal living space. It would also mean spending more time with her, conversing over a meal. And that made her nervous, but definitely not opposed. Mon’s now wide eyes were cutely on her, so she meant it. How could she refuse?

“Really?” she questioned. It gave her more thinking time.

“I insist. Please.”

Sam buried her hands in her thighs. “If you say so.” she formulated.

Mon smiled. She was taking this girl to her dorm to cook her food. Bizarre.

They cleaned up, both of them anxious. They weren't sure what they had gotten themselves into, but if it was with each other, it couldn’t be too bad. Mon texted Yuki to make sure she wasn't home, but she was 99% sure she was off somewhere with Tee. Yuki hardly studied before exams, and instead eased up with her friends.

Mon led the walk, though Sam knew where to go because all upperclassmen lived in the same close-by buildings. The campus was dry, with a few tired stragglers. It was already 10 p.m., a time that they were usually getting ready for bed.

Sam wondered what her dorm looked like, if her roommate would be there, and how the hell she figured out how to cook ramen in a rice cooker. If someone else would be in the room with them, she’d be so uncomfortable. Talking to Mon made her insides churn as is. She thought Mon knew better than to do that, though.

On the other hand, Mon’s thoughts were bouncing around, happily. She had cleaned the day prior, and her groceries were stocked up. She was going to whip up the most amazing dish– within the limits of a dorm– for Sam. Mon could only imagine the nerves Sam was feeling. She wasn’t social. Who knows, this could have been the first time someone had invited her somewhere.

Mon’s phone dinged, so she took it out of her pocket.

yuki
i’m out right now, don’t worry
have fun ;)

She successfully hid the smile that was about to pop out.

“My roommate isn’t there so it’ll just be us if you were wondering.”

Sam almost took a sigh of relief. It was late though, so she wondered why she wasn’t there. They must be pretty different, with unaligned schedules.

“Who’s your roommate?” she questioned, despite knowing she wouldn’t know them by name.

“You’ve probably seen her, it’s the girl I’m always with.”

Sam did recognize her, because she was always with Mon. And Sam liked looking for Mon.

“Her name is Yuki,” Mon went on, “We’ve been dorming since freshman year. She’s so awesome, and she also came here internationally from Thailand. I swear, that girl is always doing something.”

Sam gulped, and tried to figure out why. She saw the way she smiled when talking about her friend, probably best friend, and felt something fire inside her. She wasn’t the only person Mon knew, and she wasn’t the only one who had similarities to her. She knew this, of course she did, but she didn’t want to think about it. Thinking about how it would be to have a friendship like that, where you’re always together, didn’t make her feel good. Yet, she couldn’t understand why. She wanted to push it aside.

Mon looked at the girl, who became weirdly silent. She was just trying to converse with her. Sam seemed to be in her own head all of a sudden.

“What about you? Do you have any roommates?” Mon pulled her out of her thinking.

“No, I’m in a single.” Sam felt a little lame saying that.

“Ahh.. do you have accommodations?”

“No. I’m rich, Mon.” she didn’t mean to sound cold when she said that, but she did.

Mon had almost forgotten. “Right. Lady Sam lives luxuriously.”

That made Sam laugh, something she needed in that moment. Mon could only dream of being able to say that. That’s why she was in school, after all. She’d get there one day. Mon grinned at the sight. She feels like she just won the most important trophy by making her laugh.

They arrived at the building Mon lived in, specifically her dorm. Her door hung a little bulletin board that was filled with all sorts of things. In the middle was a comic text bubble-like cutout of the words ‘Mon & Yuki’ that were colored to look 3D. Surrounding the cutout was a few printer pictures and polaroids of the two, along with drawings of cute things. A milk tea with boba, a heart with a face on it, and an exquisitely-designed star, to name a few.

Mon was fumbling with her keys, suddenly forgetting how to open a door. She hadn’t taken many people to her dorm before, especially in the past year. Neither had Yuki. It was an honorable space to them. As she turned the key in the handle, she could feel her hands getting sweatier. She was suddenly doubting whether the room was actually clean, if she actually had food, and if Yuki would be home. She needed everything to be in order to make Sam feel comfortable.

The door opened, and she gestured to let Sam go ahead of her. Upon entering, she immediately started scanning the dorm. She made no effort to hide it, turning her head in all directions. Mon closed the door and hung her backpack up.

“I can take your bag for you.” Mon told her.

Sam gave her her tote bag and said, “Thank you.”

Sam stood awkwardly in between the two beds with her arms crossed, staring at Mon’s side. It was completely splashed in pink. Her bed consisted of fluffy pink covers with a white blanket and white throw pillows. The wall was filled with bright fairy lights and pink posters. She could tell it was definitely Mon’s side, because the other was more moderately decorated, a very calm and modern aura. She also had strings of pictures hung that consisted of her friends and family.

Mon saw her studying her things, and pondered what she could possibly be thinking about. All the pink could possibly be blinding to her, the mellow woman who dresses in plainer colors. She took in how her eyes were moving side to side.

“What are you staring at?” Mon got closer to her, looking at her instead of her own things.

“Nothing.” she replied.

That obviously wasn’t true, so Mon asked, “Do you like it?

“Like what?”

“My decor.”

“Oh. It’s… very you, that’s for sure.”

Mon chuckled because it was true, and she was glad that Sam was already associating her personality with the color pink. Sam turned to look at the abruptly laughing woman who had gotten near her. Her face was close so she immediately turned away.

Mon moved the stuffed animals on her bed out of the way and glided her hands across the sheets. Smoothing them out, she was making an inviting spot for Sam to be.

“You can sit here for now,” Mon said, patting the now-polished spot.

Sam looked over at the chair under her desk and thought that would be more appropriate. “I can sit on the chair, Mon.”

“No, please take the bed. The chair is too hard.” She was thinking about Sam’s royal status.

Mon spoke from experience, sort of. That desk was where she spent her time doing crafts and of course, some last-minute cramming. It was evident that a craft lover owned this desk, as there were some all over. A jellyfish made of pipe cleaners hung from the desk and intricate flowers made of tissue paper and beads were plastered on the sides of the desk. But really, her dorm was not her favorite place to be. She liked to take advantage of all Diversity had to offer, and more specifically, the States. Libraries, cafes, museums, shopping, clubs, any outting really, she enjoyed. She was only here for so long, after all. This was the opposite of Sam.

The homebody, preferring to be in her dorm, did not get out much. She had far too much to focus on; She was an honors student, in multiple academic clubs and organizations, and a volunteer for a nonprofit organization where she came up with project ideas and handled funds. Her straight-A grades did not come without hard work. Quite frankly, she didn’t think anyone was worth her time. Despite her intimidating and strong aura, people have made their advances, both friendly and romantic. Nobody was satisfactory for Sam.

Sam had tried to make friends in her earlier university years. It annoyed her that they did not take school as seriously as she did. With all the going out, nightlife, and other time-consuming social activities, she did not keep up with both the friends and school. She could have, but she did not want to. She was unable to make any connection to them. It felt as if there were too many differences between cultures and that her personality clashed with those around her. She was not a mean person, but that didn’t mean she was the friendliest.

It was only guys that made their moves on Sam, but it was no surprise why. She was drop-dead gorgeous. Her face was perfect with brown almond eyes accentuated with long lashes, a gently curved nose, and lips that hooked anyone who saw her in. Sam did not want anything to do with these men, though. When a man opened his mouth, she immediately grew annoyed and sighed inside. If a woman were to approach her in a romantic way, things would have been different.

Sam took off her sneakers and placed them by the door. She climbed onto the space Mon had made for her on her bed. The bed was very comfy. She felt herself slightly sink as she went on it. Mon had started to boil the water in the rice cooker was was gathering the ingredients. Sam did not know what to do with herself. She started at the other girl awkwardly. Luckily, she had her back turned to her as she worked on cooking.

Before starting to cook, Mon put on her playlist on a soft volume on a speaker. Sam did not feel like staring at her anymore. She started to stare at the items on Mon’s bed. Her hand glided across the cover and blankets in an attempt to feel the material. There was a very cozy vibe. Sam thought that she would not mind sleeping here. She took hold of one of the stuffed animals, a pink bunny one, and placed it on her lap.

“If you need anything, don’t be afraid to let me know, okay?”, Mon said, still with her back turned.

Mon was truthfully very nervous. She couldn’t get herself to turn around. She had the most beautiful girl in her room, and it gave her a lot of butterflies. This feeling didn’t seem to leave her so she was beginning to think she did, in fact, have something more than a friend attraction to her. On the other hand, this was the most intimidating woman she had ever met. That could also be an explanation for this churning emotion she was feeling. She was working hard to make a good meal for Sam.

The woman on the bed fidgeted with the pink stuffed bunny. She looked at it, and held its paws making it sway. She then looked at Mon to make sure her back was still turned away, and quickly raised the bunny to her face and smelled it. Immediately after the sniff, she put it back in her lap. She was curious if it smelled like its owner, which it did. To Sam, Mon smelled like florals with a hint of sweetness. It was a very pleasing smell.

Mon decided the silence went on too long and asked, “Are there any foods you don’t like, just in case?”

She turned around and saw her stuffed bunny that was in Sam’s lap. Sam crossed her arms to partially hide the bunny, hoping not to draw attention to it.

“I see you met Sasa.”

Mon made her way towards Sam. Sam anxiously watched as she got closer. Her eyes tracked her. Mon sat next to her on the bed and took hold of one of the paws of the bunny. Sam gulped as she felt the girl’s hand slide by her own arm. They were shoulder to shoulder on the bed. The height between the two was about 5 inches. The taller one was Sam. When they sat next to each other, the height was pretty apparent. Mon was obviously smaller.

Swaying the stuffed animal, she said, “I bought this at a random store when I first arrived in the United States. I guess in a way it commemorates me being here. Her name is Sasa”

“It has a strong smell.” Sam did not think before she said that, and did not look at Mon.

“Oh gosh, a bad smell?” She tugged at the Sasa to get it away from her.

Sam tugs back and looks at her while they converse, “No. It’s good. She smells like you.”

Sam gulped. The newfound eye contact was too close so she looked at anything else she good in the range of her eyes. Her nose, eyebrows, lips, cheeks, anything but her eyes. However, Mon didn’t stop looking at her eyes.

Mon was a little taken aback, “What do I smell like?”

“Just good.” She turned away again.

Sam’s expression was blank. She held the bunny a little tighter. Mon was a little lost, so took that as her invite off the bed. She went to the area where she was preparing the ramen. It was almost done cooking. She boiled the water and then added the noodles, chicken stock, and a variety of spices. There was also stuff on the side she had prepared for toppings.

“I don’t like bean sprouts.” Sam managed to cough out.

Mon heard and smiled, looking away from her. She emphasized for her friend (could she call her that?), as this must be a foreign experience for her. She was probably as equally nervous as she was. What was she thinking? Was she uncomfortable? Did she even want to be here? These were the questions that were cycling through Mon’s mind. As she chopped up some seaweed and cilantro, the aroma of the broth filled the air.

The recipe she was making was something she taught herself in her freshman year. A struggling college student she was, but food is something she does not skimp out on. She buys foods a typical student wouldn’t, like vegetables and eggs. The floor of her dorm had a communal kitchen, and although gross, she used it to cook stuff she was unable to in a dorm. Her dorm only had a sink, but she had appliances like the rice cooker, a kettle, pots and pans, and a blender: all of which were not technically allowed.

Mon walked over to her bed and questioned, “I have a little table for us under here. Could you lift your feet?”

She pointed to Sam’s legs as she bent down. Sam lifted her legs so that she was fully on Mon’s bed. She sank deeper into it. She wished to just lay down and feel encapsulated by it. She traced the folds of covers as she awaited the fold-out table to be set up.

“Your bed is very comfortable.” She looked at her fingers.

Mon looked up at her and playfully said, “You can stay as long as you’d like.”

Mon's face quickly flushed pink with embarrassment after saying that. Sam’s expression stayed the same, but her eyes slightly widened. That was an interesting comment she had made.

The younger girl went back to unfolding the little table. It was a light birch color, just big enough to comfortably fit two meals and two people. She unfolded the legs and set it up on the carpet near her bed. It was a kneeling table, so Mon put out two obviously pink cushions. She made them prettily across from each other. The ramen was ready to be served, so she told Sam to take whatever side she pleased.

Mon poured the ramen into two white bowls, the only two she had. She wanted to make the food look as good as it tasted. She added a softly boiled egg on top, cut-up veggies, and added sesame seeds and cilantro as garnish. She put bean sprouts in her own, but not Sam’s. She wishes the meal could be more, but she was working in the confinements of a dorm. Grabbing the bowls in hand, she headed towards the beautiful girl waiting at the table. She set down the ramen and asked Sam what she wanted to drink. There was water, ramune, and juice pouches.

With a water, juice pouch, and utensils in hand, Mon announced, “Alright, all set to eat.”

She was extremely nervous for Sam to eat her food, so she couldn’t help but blurt out, “If you don’t like it, you can tell me. We can always go get you something else to eat. I really like to have this, but maybe it’s not for you. I can add anything extra you may want. Or tweak it how you want. You just let me know.”

Sam did not respond to that and instead stated, “Thank you for the food.”

Mon anxiously waited for her to take her first bite. Sam thought that the food looked very delicious, and smelled so, too. She appreciated the fact that she cooked for her, and even took into mind what she did not like. Her bowl had no bean sprouts like she said. She found it funny that Mon was drinking a juice pouch. She had not had one of those since she was a little kid. Honestly, she wanted a sip.

The cook took her first bites and was thankful for it to taste not disgusting. Thinking she would mess everything up, she overthought everything she did to the food. It actually tasted a little better than usual. She looked at Sam who now took her first bite. She watched as the chopsticks entered her mouth and slurped the noodles that did not make it in. Mon now analyzed her expression. There was no disgust immediately, but also no pleasure. She waited for anything that Sam would give her. After swallowing, Sam gave a slight nod and continued to eat. Phew.

In her analysis, she noticed that Sam was tense. Her shoulders were raised high and her movements– stiff. Her back was kept straight, and Mon thought something was not right due to her motions. She decided to ask her.

“You look uncomfortable, Sam. Is everything okay?”

Sam perked up to face Mon with a mouth full of food. Mon was looking right at her with a look of worry. She was uncomfortable, but not because Mon was making her. There was an internal battle between lying and telling her the truth. Mon had been very kind to her. She didn’t have a reason to lie. She swallowed the food, and some of her dignity.

“Truthfully, I don’t hang out with others that much.” She spun the spoon around the rim of the bowl with her index finger.

It was Mon who perked up this time. Sam just said a vulnerable thing to her. Though she, and probably most of the school, knew this already, she wanted to proceed with caution. Before she could say anything, the woman spoke again.

“You are not making me uncomfortable. I just don’t do this often.”

“Why is that?”

“I’m always so busy. So much studying, volunteering, opportunities I’m looking out for. It seems I don’t have enough time in my days.”

“Is that the only reason?”

Sam again had a battle of truth versus lie. This was probably the smallest reason on her list, and the rest were so personal. She wasn’t sure about telling her details about her life. It had been a long time since she did that.

Mon saw Sam in thought. There was probably more reasons, and she had already pushed her far. But, Mon wanted to know more about this girl. She was captivating, and the fact that she had decided to spend time with her must have meant something. She wanted to foster this growing friendship and wanted Sam to do so, as well.

“Hey, I don’t mind you thinking about it. Just don’t forget to eat” Mon reminded her.

Sam took a few more silent bites of food. It must have replenished her to speak her mind.

“It’s one reason. I have to work so hard to keep up with all that I do. A social life would get in the way of that.”

“I see.”

“I also never found anyone that I got along with well. Everyone has been so different than me.”

“Did you try to make friends, at least?”

“I did. My whole freshman year, basically. Nobody was worth my time.”

Mon gulped.

Sam ate more from her bowl and got more personal, “As you probably thought, or still think, I do not think I’m a very approachable person.”.

Mon held in a sarcastic tone all she could and exclaimed, “What?!”

“Don’t lie to me. I’ve been told before. How I look, how I act, how I carry myself, I don’t think people enjoy my presence. And it’s true, I am not the friendliest. It’s just how I am.”

Sam looked down. Mon felt a lot of emotions for her, mostly sorrow and empathy. She could not believe Samanan Anantrakul was being so open with her. She hoped that she did not make her feel sad thinking about her past experiences. She also decided to be honest as Sam was being with her. They continued to eat together.

“I guess you were a little intimidating at first. I think mostly it’s because you’re really pretty. But you are not unapproachable, and people definitely don’t dislike your presence. They’d be fools to think that.”

Sam became shy at being called pretty, though Mon glossed over it very quickly.

“Seriously, don’t ever think that about yourself. You’re a cool person! I’m glad I’ve been able to talk to you, even for such a short time. Anyone would be lucky to. Don’t believe anything those trolls say.” Mon asserted.

“Well, thank you for thinking so.”

Sam could not keep her eyes on Mon. They were everywhere but her, actually. Her heart was pounding rapidly as she was sharing her emotions with Mon, a girl she did not know anything about two weeks ago. She felt as if Mon really cared about what she was saying; maybe that made it easier on her heart. Her bowl of ramen was now almost finished. She had used eating as a way to think of what to say next without awkwardly pausing.

“So, why do you hang out with me? Am I different?” Mon asked.

Sam didn’t know how to answer this.

“I don’t know.” She put her elbows on the table and leaned forward, cupping her own face in her hands, “You also work hard. You've been nice to me. I don’t know.”

Though leaning forward, she still did not look at Mon, whose face was turning pink.

“That’s very sweet.” Mon boomed, smiling with bright rosy tones in her cheeks.

“Whatever.” Sam started to look at Mon.

“I’m here to be a friend of yours, one who will accept all of you, if you want, of course.”

Sam did not reply. She stared.

Mon performed the same motions as Sam. She leaned on the table, with only one arm supporting her. She stared back.

“You’re not as cold as everyone thinks you are, Lady Sam.”

Their faces were as close as ever. The piercing eye contact established between them created uneasy feelings in both their stomachs. The brown pools seemed to melt and morph into each other. It was as time stopped, and their whole purpose for being on Earth was to share deep eye contact. Mon’s face was as pink as ever. She couldn’t help but grow a slight smile admiring the person in front of her.

One could not tell what emotion Sam was feeling. Her expression remained bare. In order to tell if she was blushing, you would have to have known her for a very long time. At the moment, her cheeks only had the slightest rosy tint. It was hard to see.

But Mon could tell.

Sam released a hand from her face and reached to grab something on the table. Mon’s eyes followed her hand. She grabbed an unused napkin that Mon had set down when she brought their drinks. Looking at Mon again, she raised the napkin and dapped it on the corner of the junior girl’s lips. There was a little droplet of broth that she wiped away.

Mon didn’t think her face could turn even more hotter than it currently was. Certainly, Sam had felt the heat, even through the paper. She didn’t know what was happening or what to do. There were so many butterflies spreading all throughout her body. She swore she should just kiss her right there.

Sam set the napkin down on the table without breaking her gaze. Their heads were ever so slightly getting closer to each other as if there was a magnetic force pulling them together, opposites attracting. It was intense, vulnerable, uncomfortable, but comfortable. Neither wanted to pull away, yet one of them did.

Sam pulls away, stands up, and udders, “It’s getting late. We have a test tomorrow. Thank you for the meal, Mon.”

And just like that, she gathered her items and put on her shoes. Mon did not know what else to say besides you’re welcome. Sam did not say anything as she reached to turn the door handle. Mon thought about what she had done. If she made her uncomfortable, if she was shy, if she was really telling the truth.

Mon blurted, “Did I do something wrong?”

“No. I will see you tomorrow. Thank you.” Sam did not turn around.

Sam was gone. The room filled with the beautiful presence of the woman was empty again. Mon did not bother picking up after the pair’s dinner and plopped onto her bed. She let out a sigh and stared at the ceiling. The pink bunny was in her peripheral vision. She turned to grab it, hold it tight, and stare at the ceiling some more.

Chapter Text

Yuki walked into the dorm room in the morning with a smelly mess of dishes and food. Mon’s table was out with leftover bowls, dirty napkins, and unfinished drinks. Their sink area was equally as messy. Mon was laid out flat on her bed in yesterday’s clothes. Her Sasa bunny was warmly embraced in her arms while she snored quietly with her mouth wide open. There was a little bit of dried-up drool on her cheek. Yuki did not understand what this could mean.

“Jeez, Mon. What mess happened last night?” She started to pick up after Mon’s mess, storing the left-out food that could still be used.

Mon groaned at her roommate’s voice and sloppily felt around her bed for her blanket. Once she found it, she immediately bundled up in it. She heard noise coming from beneath her. She opened an eye and saw Yuki putting back her table under the bed. Her mind flashed pictures of what had happened last night with Sam. That was enough to wake her up. She did not remember falling asleep.

She recalled the night of studying and eating with Sam. They had shared a meal in Mon’s dorm, specially crafted to excellence for Sam’s tastebuds. The senior woman opened up to her, telling her that she’s always so busy and can’t and doesn’t have the appeal to have friends. Her social life was nonexistent. Mon deeply cared for the emotions Sam shared. People have told her mean things. She wished to erase them from her mind.

Thinking about the end of the night made Mon cover her face with both of her hands. God, it was so wonderful to stare into Sam’s hypnotizing eyes. Admiring her face up close made her squeal inside. So entranced in their mutual gaze, she never wanted to look away. She replayed Sam cleaning her lips in her mind many times. The butterflies that were present at the moment reappeared. She then got to thinking about the part where Sam left coldly. Rubbing her closed eyes as hard as she could was effective in moving on from this memory.

‘Oh my god, I’m so sorry Yuki,” she croaked in her morning voice. “I didn’t mean to fall asleep without cleaning up. It was unexpected.”

“Oh? Do you care to explain?” Yuki questioned her.

Mon had to replay the moments in her head again to explain in detail what had happened between her and Sam. She was both happy and embarrassed to do so. She left out the personal details of Sam’s life, only stating that she was vulnerable with her. Absolutely gushing about their eye contact, Yuki grew a sneaky smile.

“Mon! I sense some serious tension here.” She tilted her head and winked at her.

Mon flipped onto her stomach and played with her hanging hair, “I don’t think I’ve ever felt something so exhilarating before. It was nothing and everything at the same time.”

Yuki squealed, “You have a crush! This is too exciting!”

The girl on the bed flipped the blanket over her head and hid. Her insides tightened when she thought about being with Sam. She truly wanted to just be with her in any way that was possible. There was no denying the romantic attraction brewing in her. Mon definitely came to terms with it after she thought about kissing Sam during their intense gaze. However, she did not want to come off strong. Their friendship was just growing and did not want to lose that. What happens is meant to happen, she thought.

Mon imagined the beautiful woman being all for herself. This thought was enough to make her lose control, which she did not need if she didn’t want to scare Sam away. She wondered what their interactions would be like later on in class that day. They had left off on an awkward note. Yuki took the white blanket off Mon’s head.

“Hello! Earth to Mon?” she said with a judgemental face.

“Yes… yes, I’m here.” she paused, “I guess you’re right.”

Her roommate clapped and did a high-pitched squeal at a frequency only dogs could hear. Mon felt shy and wanted to hide again. It was her turn to interrogate Yuki.

“So, are we still going to the beach trip this weekend?”

“For sure. I need the beach so bad right now.”

The getaway they were talking about was a completely school-funded one. The residence life organization often planned activities for people who formed to explore what more California had to offer. It was almost October, which was the perfect time to go to the water before it started getting cold. They would be staying at a beachfront resort for only a night. It was a short yet beautiful trip. The beach was not too far from the university. There was a pre-planned itinerary but people were free to stray from it as they pleased. Mon loved the beaches here, never getting tired of them.

“Although,” Yuki started, “I think I want to share a room with Tee. She’s going and asked me if I’d share with her. I can’t pass up this opportunity!” She bit her finger and hoped Mon knew what she meant.

“No way. You’re ditching me?!” Mon accused.

“No! Only in sharing rooms, but I know some of our other friends are going!”

Mon was not amused.

“Orrr…” Yuki ennuciated the word, growing a cheeky smile on her face.

Mon repeated the word as she said it, wanting her to spit

“You invite Sam to come, anddd share a room.

Mon thought about this. Sharing a hotel room with Sam would be amazing, but just spending time with her outside of school would be even better. This idea pleased her but was not very realistic. As she had told her last night, Sam does not go out much, if at all. This was an overnight trip, too. The chances were very slim so she grew even more upset at Yuki for leaving her in the dust.

“We must be thinking about different Sams. You’re literally ditching me!”

“I’m not!” Yuki argued, “This is me making you make your move.”

Mon rolled her eyes. She would certainly enjoy this time with Sam, but didn’t know if she’d ever have the courage to even bring it up. Perhaps before or after class, she could catch up to her. Maybe she’d appreciate being asked to go out with her. On the other hand, it could come off as her just asking her because she felt sorry for her. Either way, Mon was still annoyed at Yuki.

---------

It was the next day in class. Their graded exams from yesterday were being passed out. The day prior, Mon had walked into class feeling confident she knew the material. Sam’s studying/tutoring sessions filled her brain to the brim, but she thought it all really stuck to her. She awaited whatever interaction the two of them would have that day. She had to try not to think about her time with Sam to fully focus, but thinking about Sam wanting her to pass made her think she would.

Once Mon actually got the test., her confidence diminished a tad. It was overwhelming to see the things she worked hard to understand on the paper. The knowledge immediately hides itself in her brain. She has to open all the doors in there to find the information she knows she learned. She took her time reading the questions, circling letter answers, and writing.

Mon hoped to talk to Sam after class was over, but the professor announced that once they were done with the exam, they were dismissed. Of course, Sam finished quickly with her smarts. Mon watched as she turned in her paper and walked up the stairs towards the exit. She hoped she’d smile, wave, or even look at her. Sam did not do either of the three. That was okay– maybe she was waiting for her outside of the classroom. Mon finished 20 minutes later and discovered her no where to be found.

The professor handed her her upside-down exam and gave her a smile before moving on to the next student. Mon turned it around to reveal 93 out of 100 written in red ink. It was accompanied by a little smiley face. Her teacher knows how poorly she did on the last test, so it must’ve been to show he’s glad she improved. She couldn’t wait to show Sam after class. In the meantime, she showed Yuki and they celebrated quietly together. She got an 81.

Sam heard the almost silent commotion that the two girls rows behind her were causing. She wished she could turn around and know what they were talking about. Even though she couldn’t see, she could hear the smile Mon had on her face. She bit her bottom lip and looked at her own paper: 100.

The class continued on. The professor lectured from a power point, which surprisingly had a lot of mathematical elements. Mon paid attention for most of the time. She wanted to keep up so that if Sam tutored her again, she wouldn’t feel as dumb as she did the first time. Sometimes she caught herself staring at the long, silky brown hair towards the front of the classroom, but figured she could do that afterward.

The lecture was over and Mon turned to Yuki, “I have to go show Sam. I’ll catch up with you later.”

She was about to open her backpack to insert her notebook, but she saw Sam walking quickly up the stairs and calculated that she’d lose her if she did. Instead, she quickly threw on her bag and carried her notebook and test in her hand. She left her row and followed Sam up the stairs. There were a few people between them, so she feared to let her out of her sight. Once they were outside the classroom, Mon looked for what direction Sam went. She trailed behind, having to speedwalk. Mon’s legs did not get as far as Sam’s tall ones did. She tapped the older girl on her back and walked along her side.

“Hi, Sam!”

Sam was startled that she had caught up to her but continued walking, “Hi.”

“I have something to show you.”

Mon showed her score on the paper. Sam was pleasantly surprised that she was able to pull it off, with her help. Her emotions have been on a rollercoaster ever since this girl entered her life, so the least she could do was pass. Taking the paper from her, she quickly scanned through the pages to review her work.

“Wow, Mon. This is amazing.” she smiled.

Mon looked like a child who was showing off a– not great– piece of artwork. She looked at Sam’s face for praise.

“You really got through to me. I remembered almost everything you taught me!”

Sam handed the paper back to her, “That’s great. I'm very happy for you.”

She was so relieved. Mon thought that the events of two nights before would make her awkward with her. Still, she wondered why she had to try to get away from her after class both today and yesterday. She and Sam continued to walk to who knows where. Mon wanted to keep talking to her, and maybe mention the beach.

Sam made a joke about what she had thought about earlier, “I would cry if my tutoring didn’t do anything for you. Days wasted for what?”

Though a little mean, Mon laughed. Sam looked at her and also laughed. She thought it was more funny that Mon was following her without knowing where they were going. She also enjoyed that she was doing so at the same time. Even though she had deliberately ignored her these past days, Mon still wanted to talk to her. It was a relief.

She felt uneasy that she allowed herself to be so open with Mon. She did not know her enough to tell her all that, but she did it anyway. It was as if Mon sucked the words out of her mouth. She wasn’t just vulnerable with words, but also physically. They got close and there was tension. Sam could not live with herself thinking about these actions. So, she was scared to reach out to Mon first. She did not want to talk about it, and prayed Mon didn’t either.

“Don’t be so mean, Sam!” Mon gently nudged the side of her arm with her hand.

Sam could only laugh at this. Mon was being silly. In the corner of her eyes, she saw a few people staring at them laughing together in what she thought was a strange manner. She immediately calmed herself from this fun and stopped laughing.

Mon noticed this shutdown. It was odd, but it also could just be Sam. They kept walking and she turned down her own joy to match Sam’s. She looked both at her and their surroundings to see if anything had happened, but she did not find any clues. Mon didn’t want their conversation to end here.

“Where are you headed?” she asked.

“I want something from the vending machine. Then, my room.”

“A snack?”

“A candy. It’s very sour and American.” she responded.

Mon smiled. She was adorable. She’d follow her to the machine but not try to go to her dorm, thinking that was too invasive. There was a pause in their talking, and Mon thought about bringing up the trip. She didn’t know if she could handle any rejection or uncomfortability. But, she’d have to do it sometime if she wanted her to join her. This conversation would happen anyhow.

Mon swallowed, “Did you hear about the beach trip?”

“No.”

“It’s supposed to be very cool. I was going to room with Yuki but she ditched me for this girl she likes.”

Sam did not know that her friend liked girls. Many possibilities ran through her head. One, she had tried to get at Mon before. Two, Mon had tried to get at her. Three, she and Mon have actually gotten together before. Four, there were still underlying feelings. Five– no. She did not want to think about it anymore.

“It’s totally a bummer, but I still really want to go. Beaches are very nice.” Mon kept talking, “And get this! They are going to be staying in a beachfront hotel. I bet it will be really beautiful.”

They reached the vending machine. It was tall. The rows were filled with candy, chips, and sodas that were surprisingly cheap. Mon had never seen this machine before. The campus had very interesting amenities. There was even a boba vending machine, which she had used at various times. Sam looked into the glass to find her candy. Mon stared at her and kept going.

“This time of year is really nice for the beach. It’s still hot, but not like burning, you know?”

Sam nodded and pushed the letter and number combination for the food.

Mon was not getting much response, so she went off-topic, “What are you getting?”

Sam got close to the glass and pointed right in front of her. Mon followed suit and put her head next to Sam’s. They looked at the candy.

“Oh, the rainbow sour straws!” she agreed, “Those are really good.”

Sam finally responded, “I love these. They are probably my favorite candy here.” She reached for her back pocket to grab her phone and pay.

“Good choice.” It was time to get back into it, “They have some cute activities planned out on the itinerary. But you can own do your own thing, too.”

Mon may have been coming off as annoying now. The other woman did not respond, but Mon wanted this so badly since Yuki had implanted the idea in her mind. Sam knew exactly what she was doing, though. Her silence was both from thinking and not giving Mon the satisfaction she wanted. She was pesky, but it was also fun hearing her be like this.

“I hear that dolphins like to come to the beach they are going to. I always found them really cute. I hope I can see one.”

Sam had had it now. The sour straws dropped after the metal coil let it through. She bent down, pulled back the flap to retrieve her snack, and stood up to face Mon strongly.

“Mon.”

“Yes?” She remained positive but was so scared inside.

“Are you trying to ask me to go with you?”

Mon did not respond. She was terrified. They looked at each other in front of the vending machine. When Mon did not answer her question, Sam’s face visibly grew more annoyed. Her eyes widened and brows raised. The younger girl could not handle this.

“Okay! Yes, I am! It will be fun!” she blurted in one quick breath.

Sam looked around. She did not want to talk about this right here, where others were sure to pass and buy things. She told Mon to follow her. The scared girl would do whatever she was told. They walked about a minute further from the area they were previously at. Sam stopped at a quieter area and leaned against a wall with her side so she could face Mon.

Mon did not lean but still faced Sam. She was afraid to hear what she was going to say to her. Would she yell? Would she be upset? Would she reject her? Her hands were behind her back, fidgeting with each other. Sam opened her pack of candy. She slid out the tray and pulled out a blue one. She chewed, swallowed, and was ready to answer. Mon thought that she could not be slower in her actions.

“Why do you want me to go?”

“Well, I just think it would be really fun to go with you. And... I guess… see you outside of a school setting.” Mon’s heart was beating very fast.

There were pros and cons in Sam’s mind. She actually agreed with what she said. Mon was interesting to her in a way that no one has ever been. There was so much about her that Sam wanted to know that she could not know if they only continued to have academic meetings. But, she was not going to be the one to initiate those things. This was one thing she liked about Mon. She reached out first.

There were too many cons for her, though. An overnight trip, for even one night, could affect her academics. She could fall behind. There would be other people that would be going. She did not want to be with others, only Mon. A trip also requires so much planning. There would be so much she’d have to add to her to-do list. Also, sharing a room with Mon? They were not close like that. Too much silence and room for things to go wrong. This also pleased her, though. A Mon to herself.

“Tell me more.”

Mon’s nervousness had just earned a companion: hope.

“It’s a very short trip. If you decide you don’t like me, it’s okay. They leave Saturday morning, stay one night, then come back here Sunday evening.”

“Two days?!” Sam emphasized.

“I know, it’s short.” Mon didn’t understand what Sam was concerned about. “I know it will be very fun with you. I’d do everything to make it as fun and stress-free as I can for you.”

“Fun”. Mon kept using the word “fun”. Sam did not know how to partake in fun. There was never a time she wasn’t busy. Sure, she would have free time, but she didn’t use it like typical college students do. She instead turned it again into a busy time, looking for ways to grow herself academically as a student. Saying yes to Mon would be an extreme commitment.

“Mm,” Sam mumbled, “How many people are going?”

“I think a lot, but, we can be with my friends, make new friends, just us two, whatever you want.”

Sam only liked the last option. She would not go if the other two were explored. She ate a yellow straw. The sourness caused her to bite her cheek.

“I am not social.” she said quietly and diverted her eyes away from Mon.

“That’s okay! I’ll never leave your side, if you don’t want me to, of course.”

Mon knew she’d never let herself stray away from Sam, and Sam knew she wouldn’t let Mon get away. Mon was growing so much excitement that she did not have room for disappointment anymore. It seemed she was actually convincing Lady Sam, a person who did not like to go out. Sam grabbed a red straw from the candy package and extended her hand towards Mon. Mon reached out for it and took a bite. The initial sour taste made her eyes shut very roughly. This made Sam want to laugh, but she kept a serious face.

“I will be very mad if you leave me.” Sam looked mad just thinking about it.

“I wouldn’t do that to you,” she explained softly, “I don’t want the trip to be uncomfortable for you. We are going to start getting you out there and have a good time, but not by anything you don’t want to do.”

The older woman’s heart began to pound faster. Mon was being very considerate of what she had told her a couple of nights before. Maybe this is something worth trying. Mon considered her.

“This would be a very big thing for me to do, Mon.” She always avoided eye contact when saying more personal things.

Mon’s eyes glowed adoringly for Sam, “I know. But, I’ll be with you the entire time. I really want to go with you.”

Sam’s heart pounded faster. Somehow losing grip on what she was holding, the package of sweets fell onto the floor. Mon took action and immediately kneeled down to grab it. The candies were luckily unharmed. She put forward the sweets but Sam looked deep in thought. So, she pulled out a blue candy and put it in front of Sam’s face. This caught her attention. Her head reached down and she bit and snatched the candy from Mon’s hand with her bite. She finished and decided what to say.

“Do you promise?”

“I promise.” She held her pinky finger out in front of her.

Sam could not believe this kid, but she followed along anyway with the pinky promise.

---------

In a single dorm, an empty suitcase lay on the floor atop a fluffy white carpet. The suitcase was wide open. It had a slick gray interior with matching internal straps. There was an abundance of clothes spread out on the bed, desk, and floor, too. It ranged from dresses and bathing suits to sweaters and jackets. Bags and accessories also accompanied the desk. Necklaces, bracelets, and rings. What a mess Sam had made in her abode.

She looked at it all and sighed. She put her hand on the back of her head. Agreeing to go with Mon may have not been the best decision, but it was a heat-of-the-moment thing. She would be lying if she told herself she didn’t want to go. She absolutely did want to go, purely for Mon. It honestly would not have mattered if it was to a beach or not, how many people were going, and how long the trip was. If it was only her and Mon, that was enough.

It’s not to say she was not worried about falling behind in school or what others would think. She did worry, but being with Mon outweighed those factors currently. She did not know what this growing feeling was to Mon. It was like an obsession. Mon was constantly on her mind. When she would be out on campus, she always thought, ‘Where would Mon be right now?’. In class, she wondered, ‘Is Mon staring at me right now?’. Before bed, she pondered, ‘What is Mon doing right now?’. This woman would not get out of her head.

She blamed it all on the fact she had finally found someone that she wanted to be friends with. That was all.

Sam did not know what to pack. She knew the basics of what to bring on a beach getaway but had no idea what beach town it was or what activities they’d be doing. She only knew what Mon had told her. Overthinking how she wanted to look, she considered all the options her closet had to offer.

One thing she knew for sure to bring was swimsuits. What she did not know was how appropriate they should be. She decided to bring four, just to be safe. Two were more covered, while two were two pieces. Of the appropriate ones, there was a black swimdress that was both cute and covered. The other was a black one-piece that had an open back and slightly open sides. The two-piece bathing suits were black and dark gray. There was an obvious favorite color scheme Sam had. This was about as far as she could pack without help, so she decided to text Mon.

sam
where are we going?
what will we be doing?

Mon picked up her dinging phone to Sam’s text. She was also packing, but having a much easier time. She could not believe that Sam had actually agreed to go with her. It was very outside of Sam’s comfort zone, so she wondered why she was the special person Sam had decided to start a friendship with.

She read the texts and let out a pity smile. Sam must have been overthinking, or genuinely very worried. The would be going to Laguna Beach, a very beautiful and peaceful city. The beach had beautiful blue water and the sun beamed bright. The town consisted of restaurants and cafes, with cute shopping centers. There were also mountains nearby great for hiking.

mon
we will be going to laguna beach :-)

She thought about how to answer Sam’s second question. Sam expressed that she did not want to be with anyone but her. If that’s really what she wanted, they would not be able to follow the itinerary that most people were. It made Mon feel stressed thinking about planning their activities, but figured it’d work itself out. She texted Sam very basic answers as to what they’d be doing.

mon
hmm
for sure we will be at the beach, maybe shop, maybe a nice dinner, maybe go out sightseeing
bring whatever you think is good for that stuff !!

Mon was only bringing a pink duffle bag. She did not have too much stuff she needed to bring. All her basics were packed– bikinis, undergarments, a pair of pajamas. She was also a little lost on what clothes she would wear, so she hadn’t gotten to that part yet. She would just bring pieces and decide what to wear there. Of course the pieces would be her favorites because she wanted to look nice for Sam.

Mon was brought back to their conversation from the other night when she glanced at her pink bunny stuffed animal. That night, Sam had told her that she had never found anyone that she got along with well because they were so different. Sam and Mon were extremely different, so why did she seemingly get along with her? Sam was very serious. Her expressions made it hard to tell if she liked you. She was also so committed to school and her smarts.

Mon only related to one of those statements; She was committed to school as well. Surely, that could not be the only reason she and Sam got along. Mon was so different. She was a ray of sunshine, always so positive and caring. Her face always showed what she was feeling. She was social, bubbly, and made time for all the things she liked to do. The way they carried themselves was different. Sam was reserved and Mon was open.

There was also the fact that they both came from Bangkok, Thailand. This probably could have been the main reason, Mon thought. They both naturally had a mutual understanding of their culture and unfamiliarity with the United States. There would be no culture shocks and they could always relate to their home country. Mon hoped this was not the case, though. Yes, it was a great thing, but she hoped Sam liked her for who she was, too.

sam
please tell me what to bring.

Mon picked up her phone and figured Sam was really overthinking this.

mon
do i have to lay it all out for you, lady sam?

Sam scoffed and quickly responded.

sam
you said you would make things stress-free for me.

To that, Mon could not find a comeback. She thought about what was in her bag and compiled a list on her phone. For clothes, there were undergarments, pajamas, cover ups, maybe a dress, skirts/pants/shorts, tops, and perhaps a jacket if it got chilly at night. For other items, hygienic products, makeup, skincare, chargers, your laptop, and maybe a camera would suffice. There were also items needed for the beach, like a towel, sandals, and sunscreen. She took a screenshot of the list she compiled on her notes app and sent it to Sam. Forgetting to mention bathing suits, she sent a quick follow-up message.

mon
oh i forgot, bring your sexiest bikinis too ;-)

Mon immediately threw her phone across the room and shoved her head into a pillow. Why did she send that?

On the other end, Sam’s face flushed pink. She turned off her phone and set it down, the screen facing the surface of her desk. Her expression showed she was confused, but also wanted to laugh. She held the back of her fingers up to her cheek to feel the heat she knew had grown on her face. That was a very out-of-pocket comment and she did not know how to reply.

She questioned if that was flirting or a playful comment. She sat on her bed, hands between her thighs, figuring out how to respond to the woman. This was evil. Maybe she could respond in the same way. She stood up and grabbed her phone. She typed very slowly, still thinking of how she could get back at Mon. As her fingers tapped the letters and send button, she also expressed the same regret Mon did.

sam
you’ll have to wait and see.

Chapter Text

Sam scanned the sea of people in the distance. They all carried suitcases, backpacks, or duffle bags. They were bundled in groups, with a few solo stragglers. There were looks of excitement and chats of beach activities. She heard the words tanning, drinks, and Instagram pictures multiple times. She was already over the people also coming on this trip.

It was nine in the morning. Even though it was early in the day, it was becoming uncomfortably hot. Sam could feel the hair touching the back of her neck, which was beginning to stick together. There was a line of charter buses on the curb. Mon had texted her the night before about the meeting location. She did not want to go without her but did not want to ask her to meet somewhere beforehand. So, she accepted her fate of awkwardly looking for Mon. It was not different for her to be alone, anyway.

In the pools of students, she looked for a woman with lighter brown hair who was averagely sized. There were many people who matched this description, though. She kept her distance while searching to make sure if she had difficulty finding her, she would not be standing confused in front of all those people. This immediate difficulty made her question saying yes to this getaway. She pulled out her phone to ask Mon where she was.

While she awaited Mon’s response, she took out a hand mirror from her purse and fixed her appearance. She did a light, glowy makeup look to match the vibe of a beach. Any other activities than the beach were unknown, but her look could match whatever it was that they did. She fixed eyelashes that were mistakenly clumped together and adjusted her hair so that it lay in front of her shoulders. Her current outfit was simple: dark denim high-rise jeans and a white halter top. The bag she chose to go along with it was white with gray flowers from a luxury brand.

Five minutes have passed and Mon did not respond. Sam grew annoyed and a little upset. She swallowed and went into the crowd, taking her things with her. She walked between the groups turning her head to find the women who had abandoned her. Before she found Mon, she spotted Yuki. Her face had grown quite familiar to her after almost always seeing her with Mon.

She especially started paying attention to how Yuki and Mon treated each other. It did not sit well in her stomach that her roommate liked girls. Even if she had a crush right now, it didn’t rule out that she doesn’t like or liked Mon in a romantic way. She looked out for any physical contact the two had and any flirtatious words. Nothing suspicious ever happened, but Sam still was keeping her eyes wide open to spot anything.

But of course, where Yuki was, Mon was right to her. Sam’s eyes widened. They chatted away, along with three other people nearby. They formed a circle as they talked, laughed, and yelped. Mon was smiling as Yuki said something about how she was planning something for Mon. Sam’s hands tightened into a fist. This was already not what they had agreed to. There were way too many people next to Mon. Sam stopped in the crowd and stared at her.

She did not care how she looked alone in all the people. She was upset and flustered. Sam kept her eyes on the woman. Mon turned away from the circle and started to look around for something. Sam could tell because she squinted her eyes, just like she did when searching for something in the grocery store. She did not make any attempt to be noticed because she did not know if Mon was looking for her.

Mon’s eyes were getting closer to Sam. When they saw a tall, cold-faced figure, they locked onto the woman. It was Sam. Mon’s face instantly lit up. Her eyes got wide and soft as she opened her mouth to express joy. She dramatically waved at Sam as if they had not seen each other in years; it had only been a few days. This made Sam feel a little better, but still annoyed. She walked over to join Mon’s group.

“Sam!” Mon exclaimed with a huge smile on her face.

“Hello, Mon.” Sam’s face did not show any pleasure.

After saying hello to Mon, she recognized there was still a group of people she needed to address, or that needed to address themselves. Among them were Yuki, two women, and a man. They were all staring at her as if she was a very important person. Their looks had traces of being afraid and being shocked.

“Sam, these are some of my friends,” she explained to break the ice, “This is Yuki, my roommate and bestest friend. This is Tee, Nop, and Cher.”

Mon pointed to each person as she introduced them. As she introduced them, the corresponding person gave a slight head bow to Sam. Each person did this. Sam thought this was very strange. They were not in Thailand. She questioned what Mon had told them about her. Sam gave her greetings to the group.

“It’s good to meet you, Sam. I’ve heard so many good things about you from Mon.” Yuki said.

Sam saw Mon quickly slap Yuki’s arm. If this was supposed to be hidden from Sam, they did not do a good job. This made the older woman grow nervous. She did not know what Mon was telling these people. What did good things mean? Why did Mon hit her?

“Yes,” Cher chimed, “Any friend of Mon’s is a friend of ours.”

“Are you excited for these two days?” Nop nodded and asked.

Sam was overwhelmed by these people speaking. She did not want to talk to them.

“I am.” Sam finally breathed.

Mon noticed that this situation was probably making Sam uncomfortable. She noticed her words were dry and her face did not have expression. This was how she usually was, but she still knew that Sam probably did not like this. The buses were starting to load people into them, so she took that as an opportunity to isolate her and Sam.

“I see people are starting to get on the buses. You guys can go ahead, we’ll catch up.” Mon grew a serious look and tilted her head, signaling for her friends to go away.

The four of them got Mon’s message and exited the area. The rest of the crowd started to disappear into the buses, as well. Mon turned to Sam and grew a smile again. Now that there was not much of a crowd, Sam’s face grew more upset. She brought up the first thing that angered her.

“You didn’t answer my texts.”

Mon reached for her phone in her back pocket to check her screen, “Oh, no. You’re right, I didn’t check my phone.”

“You said it would only be us.” Sam immediately added before letting Mon apologize.

“I know, I’m sorry. I wanted you to meet my friends quickly. I have no intent of being with them while we’re on this trip together. I told you it was just going to be us two, so that's how it’s going to be.” she reassured.

Sam rolled her eyes, unclear to both women if it was on purpose or not.

“Sam…” Mon whined.

Mon wished she could rub or poke her arm to reassure her better, but many people would be able to see that. She would not care, but Sam would.

“Please… believe me.” she was now pouting and whining.

Sam looked at the pleading girl and felt shy. Sure, she had previously upset her, but she was now cute. She had to respond to Mon before the cuteness turned excessive and caused a scene in public.

“I do.”

“Well, let’s have a great time then. I’m so glad the Lady Sam believes regular, old Mon.” Mon saw a smile peek from Sam as if she was holding in laughter, so she pestered more.

“What would I do without Lady Sam’s forgiving spirit? She is too kind.”

Sam crossed her arms and finally let the smile she had go from peaking to visible.

“There’s the smile I like to see.”

Sam couldn’t take this any longer. She shut her eyes tightly to try to erase the shyness from her face. Mon’s comments were quickly acting on the annoyance she had for her at an alarming rate. She did not like that someone had this much control over her emotions and how she felt. It was different from what she had experienced before. Instead of getting rid of positive emotions with negative ones, Mon did the opposite.

Mon was wearing a long beachy dress that went down to her ankles. It was white with light pink flowers and pastel green stems on it. It was spaghetti strapped and showed off her neck, collar, and upper chest well. She also wore a sunhat with a ribbon and bow that matched the pink on her dress. It was very coordinated, even with white sandals. The hat was funny to Sam.

“We’re not at the beach yet, you know.” Sam teased and gently pushed the front of Mon’s hat down in front of her face.

Mon laughed at Sam dropping her attitude. She grabbed the sides of her hat and pushed it back up so she could look up and see Sam again. She liked that she joked with her. It was a weight off her shoulders. Sam was looking down at her softly with the same smile still there. Mon did the same. Once again, she could not pull herself away from their gaze. Even in public.

“Let's go. We are going to be the last ones on.” Sam interrupted.

They both took their packed items and made their way towards the last bus in the line. The buses were filled in order of first come, first serve. They would not be on the same bus as Mon’s friends. Their bags were put in an underneath compartment of the bus by the driver. Mon entered the bus first, so she was in charge of picking the seats for the two.

The interior of the bus was very slick. The seats were heavily cushioned and soft, made with a black material. It was cold, thankfully. The air conditioning system had to be strong to combat the outside’s heat. Each seat had an outlet and its own tray table. There were even two attendants who could be called to your seat at the push of a button. It was very luxurious. Mon looked for 2 seats next to each other but none were in sight. She was worried they would have to sit apart with two strangers.

As Sam walked down the aisle behind Mon, she looked at every face. They all seemed to be staring at her, and even judging at that. She expected this to happen. She did not do “fun” things here at Diversity University. That was the opposite of what she was known for. She held her hands in the back of her and moved forward as if she owned the bus.

Mon reached the point where they could see the rest of the bus. There were no two empty seats next to each other. She had to act quickly to make this work for her and Sam. She looked around for a familiar face and saw someone she had a few classes with in the past. Truthfully, she did not remember her name. She leaned down to speak to her.

“Hey, you! Do you mind sitting somewhere else so me and my friend can sit together?” she asked.

The woman sitting was startled, “Why?”

Mon expected her to just say yes, so had to think even quicker and not get annoyed.

“My friend really wants to sit here.”

The woman diverted her eyes from Mon and looked for the friend Mon was talking about. She looked higher and saw Sam. She knew she had to move. Sam was staring her down bitterly. She was not to be disagreed with.

“Oh, I’m sorry. I’ll move no problem.”

The nameless lady grabbed her items from the seat. She had already settled down with her phone plugged in, air conditioning facing her, and tray out with a coffee drink. She gathered them rather quickly and made her way towards the back of the bus. Mon shifted forward and extended her arms towards the freshly opened seats, giving Sam the window seat. Sam nodded and slid her way to her seat.

The seats were very comfortable. The ride would be a little more than two hours, so it was needed. Mon was overjoyed that Sam was doing this with her. Five minutes after they sat down, the bus started to move. Sam could not back out anymore, so Mon had immense relief. There was silence between the two. Sam stared out the window as they made their way to Laguna Beach.

Mon looked at Sam who was lost in staring. The area outside of Diversity was very beautiful. There were not too many people out, though. They must’ve been escaping the heat, is what Mon thought. Sam had curled her hair into beach waves. That was very cute of her. Mon knew that the conversation these next two hours with Sam would be reliant on her, so she figured out what to bring up first. She opened her phone.

“Look at this, Sam. I think we should go to this restaurant while we’re there. It’s authentic Thai food that’s apparently really good. The reviews are great. But, what would the people here know about authentic Thai food? What do you thi–” Mon felt something on her shoulder as she stared at her phone.

It was Sam’s head. She had fallen… asleep? Mon did not want to move. She had to be careful with her motions. She slightly turned her head to look at the older woman who had fallen on her shoulder. Sam was really asleep. Mon was freaking out inside, extremely. Sam radiated heat onto Mon’s shoulder, and it felt amazing. She wanted to lean her own head on hers, but would not do anything to wake her up.

Sam did not get much sleep the night before. She was finalizing what she was packing for half the time, and stressing out the other half. Her stomach was in flurries thinking about what could happen on this trip with Mon. If one of her friends from home asked her to go on the same trip, she was almost sure she would have said no. Mon was a friend of three weeks, not lifelong in any way.

Sam could not even answer the most basic about Mon like what her favorite food was and if she had any siblings. How was she supposed to spend two days purely with her? There were just so many nervous thoughts that ran through her mind. She suddenly could not think of the positives that made her agree in the first place that night.

There was a big bump on the freeway that made Sam awaken. She opened her eyes to a tilted point of view. Her cheeks felt warm. It was Mon’s shoulder. She quickly sat up straight again and looked at Mon apologetically.

Sam rubbed her eyes, “I’m very sorry. I must have not gotten enough sleep last night.”

“I do not mind, Sam.” Mon cursed the driver who was not careful enough to wake the sleeping beauty.

Sam could not rest her head there again. That was an unconscious move her body made. She instead turned away from Mon to the window and leaned. She would use the bumpy glass instead of the soft and comfortable shoulder.

---------

The vehicle stopped in a parking structure that was well-lit with the sun’s rays. The stop of continuous movement made Sam start to become conscious. Her eyes stayed shut as she let out a quiet groan and fixed her posture. Everyone started to chatter as they arrived at their destination. The talking was not helping her mood. The light hit her face directly so she looked away and toward Mon. Mon was already looking at her. She had looked at Sam the entire time she slept.

Sam had a frightening look. She stared at Mon with squinted and angry eyes. Her mouth was downturned to match. Morning attitude, Mon thought. She wondered why Sam did not get the right amount of sleep she needed. Perhaps it was the same reason as her– nerves and excitement. The most reasonable option was that she stayed up late doing assignments to get ahead of the two days she would not do work. She hoped this wasn’t the case. A grumpy Sam would be hard to have fun with.

“How did you sleep, Sam? We’re here!” Mon said softly.

Sam again groaned and rubbed her eyes. Their day was ready to start and she did not know if she was prepared for it. Mon comforted her, telling her they would get their energy up after having a quick bite and going to the beach. Sam appreciated her words. Mon would do anything to get her spirits up.

They made their way out of the bus. They were the last people off, as Mon waited for Sam to get out of her slump before they stood up. The attendants were outside putting luggage from the bus to the concrete floor. The women looked for their bags. Mon only brought a bright pink duffle bag which she spotted quite easily.

Sam’s items were not as easily seen. They were black, just like about eighty percent of the other people's luggage were. She did not like that the bags and suitcases were being put on the floor so she looked for it in advance to get it before the ladies. Her suitcase had a white luggage tag that read ‘Samanan Anantrakul’. This is how she found her bag. She retrieved it before the others could put their hands on it. She extended the handle.

“Ready?” Mon questioned.

“No,” she uttered, “There’s more.”

Mon grew a look of confusion. Sam’s suitcase was already very large, bigger than normal. It was almost half the height of Mon. She watched as Sam grabbed a large tote bag and backpack. She put the bag onto her suitcase and put on the backpack. Oh, Sam. She stared at the junior girl, waiting for something.

“Is that all?” She looked at her in the eyes, interrogatively.

Sam nodded as if it were obvious.

The residential advisors from the university were yelling to form lines to collect the room keycards. The way that sign-ups worked was online. You were to put your name in column A and your partner’s in B. Mon did it for them. What floor they would be on was randomized. The guarantee was that they would have a beach view.

Mon retrieved the two cards. The envelope they were held in had the number ‘1509’ written on it with black ink. She flipped it around to reveal ‘Mon/Sam’ also written on it. Mon was going to keep this paper envelope forever. She put it into a concealed sleeve in her pink shoulder purse.

It was nearing noon when they finally were able to enter their hotel room. Upon opening it, you could smell the sea breeze and summer wind. The balcony doors were opened so that air could be let in. The curtains hanging near were flowing. There were beachy materials as decor around the hotel room. Shells on the desk, beach pictures framed, and surf books on the shelves. There was a fishy smell, but it was perfect enough to encapsulate the beauty of the beach and not the smelly parts.

“Sam! Look at this!” Mon set her things down very quickly and bolted to the balcony.

Their hotel room overlooked the blue sea and white sand. It was a breathtaking sight. They were on the 15th floor, so they had an amazing view of the beach and all its glory. You could see sailboats in the distance and couples, friends, and families all enjoying their days outside. The hotel also had its own pools which they could see from their room. Mon fell in love with what she saw and could not wait to join all the others on the beach.

Sam joined the other woman outside. She first noticed the hills and mountains in the distance across the sea. They were rocky and bold. Then, she saw Mon, who leaned across the railing. She had a smile on her face while she looked at seagulls flying over the nearby buildings. Her hair flew in all directions from the high breeze. She took off her sunhat so that the sun atop could hit her. Lastly, she looked at the stunning view.

Sam copied Mon and leaned over the balcony. It was very high, so she took a step back. The sight was nice, but looking at Mon was more interesting to her. Mon closed her eyes and accepted the sun’s warmth. The smiling woman looked very happy. Sam was surprised by this. Besides the smile Mon was able to pull out of her, she had not acted warmly enough to her. She was tired and upset in the morning, and even still yawning now.

Mon was always able to maintain a positive attitude. Something terrible could happen and it did not break her. She could continue being the joyful person she is. Sam admired her for this. Having positivity as the default emotion in her mind was far from her emotional state. She had something to learn from Mon.

Mon shifted her gaze to the staring woman she saw in the corner of her eyes, “What are you looking at?”

“Ah,” Sam diverted her gaze to paragliders that also happened to be in Mon’s direction, “Those people flying over there.” She pointed.

“Do you want to do that?”

Sam shook her head.

“Are you sure? I can ask guest services if they can help us plan something.”

‘I don’t want to. I was just thinking that is an insane thing to do.”

“I think it’s a very brave thing to do.” Mon combatted.

Sam shrugged, and they made their way back inside, shutting the glass sliding doors. The room itself was very spacious. There were two queen beds with huge white comforters and soft blue pillows. It had a television, an extremely modern white bathroom, and even a sofa. The school absolutely put their tuition money to good use.

Mon offered Sam the bed closest to the balcony so she could sleep and have something pretty to look at. After all, she loved to stare. Mon was secretly hoping that the room only had one bed, or at least 2 small beds she could convince Sam to join together to make a mega bed. The thought of sharing a bed with her made her giggly inside. She’d find a way for them to be close together, somehow.

Sam sat on her bed and tapped her thumbs on her phone. Mon was eager to leave and have fun with her. She rummaged through her duffle bag and pulled out some clothes. She then walked over to Sam with her hands behind her back.

“Which do you think I should wear?” she asked and held up two bathing suits.

Sam looked up and had to blink twice. The swimming suits had little fabric to them. They were very skimpy. She had to conceal the flustered emotions that just arose.

“Wow, Mon,” she grabbed her elbow, “I don’t know if you could even call those bikinis.”

The bathing suit in her right hand was a soft pink two-piece. The top had very small triangle-shaped cups and very skinny strings. The bottom was thong-shaped, but still covered enough for active beach activities. The second suit was a black two-piece. The top was very similar to the pink one but covered more of the chest and had wider straps. The matching bottom was high rise toward the front and more open in the back.

“What? This is what everyone here wears to the beaches.”

Sam knew this. It was not like she didn’t have revealing bathing suits, either. She didn’t know that Mon would own articles like that. She did not seem like the type. Sam should have known to expect this from the woman who texted her asking her to bring her sexiest bikini.

“So, what do you think?” Mon awaited an answer.

Sam imagined Mon in the bikinis. She could not correctly imagine the pink one. It was far too much for her. She could not picture a Mon revealing so much in her mind. That was foreign. The black one covered more, but pink was her color. Though, she had never seen Mon in black…

“Well…” the grip on her elbow tightened, “I have never seen you in black before.”

Mon held up the black top to wear it would lay if she had it on, “Can you imagine it?”

The older woman’s eyes could not look at Mon’s body for more than a second. Her eyes went from looking at the side, Mon, the side, Mon, and back to the side. Mon was either teasing or genuinely asking for an opinion. Why would she tease her, though? Sam got out of her head. She would like to see how the black brought out her friend's features.

‘That’s the right choice.”

Mon put her hands down and thanked Sam for helping her.

“We can match… with the black.” Sam continued.

Mon smiled. Sam was going to match with her and she was thrilled, ignoring the fact that Sam’s entire wardrobe was colored black.

“Aw, you want to match with me?” Mon put her hands behind her back and dug her head into her own shoulder.

Sam looked away from her, “It’s a coincidence.”

Mon was starting to recognize what Sam does when she gets shy, flustered, or feels awkward. While she tried to act strong and keep eye contact, she often could not if Mon did something that would make her feel shy. Even if they were not directly looking into each other's eyes, Sam would have to look at anything but Mon. It was only when she initiated the eye contact that she had a better time at holding it.

Sam would also bite her bottom lip or press her lips together in these times. That night in her dorm room, she also got stiff. Any of these reactions could be caused by those three emotions, so she had to play a guessing game of what caused these behaviors.

“Shall we head to the beach now?” Mon questioned.

“Yes.” she stood up and towered over Mon.

Mon took a step back, “You can use the restroom to change. I’ll do it quickly here and then we can get out of here.”

Sam walked away and grabbed the suitcase holder from the closet to open her luggage. She had brought so much stuff ‘just in case’. The list Mon sent her was extremely helpful. Somehow, she had forgotten what it is you pack for an overnight trip. Her mind went blank from the mixed emotions Mon made her feel.

She brought extra everything. Extra socks, extra pants, extra tops, extra bags, anything she could think of that could get dirty, lost, or ruined– which was just about everything. The extra clothes, though, were mostly for if she needed a change to match the day's activities. And, to have more options on how to show herself to Mon.

“You sure seem to have brought a lot of things.” Mon said, looking at her set aside piles of clothes.

“This is normal.”

“If that’s normal, you may have to lend me something to wear.” she teased.

Mon was really teasing her now. It always caught her off guard. Sam grabbed her swimsuit and cover-up, and bolted to the bathroom. She locked the door quickly.

Mon, now left alone, pouted. She liked to play with Sam. It was fun to see which reaction she got. It seemed she’d had enough of it for now, so Mon told herself to keep the jokes down. It’d be hard, but she’d try in order to make the trip enjoyable for her. Sam was like a lost little puppy to Mon. Adorable, fierce, and astray. She began to undress so she could put on the black bikini chosen by Sam.

As she changed, she thought about how Sam reacted when she asked for her opinion on what to wear. She couldn’t look anywhere near Mon. For some reason, Sam imagining her in swim attire made her anxious? Shy? Mon did not know. It did not seem normal, though.

Mon knew Sam would be looking at her in the two-piece, so she went in front of the full-body mirror hung on the wall of their hotel room. She admired herself. Her hands slid across her body as she examined how she could look better. She adjusted the bottom half to accentuate her rear and waist. Her back turned to the mirror and she peeked over her shoulder to make sure she did just that. The top part was shifted and tightened so that it would not fall when she did the things she planned to do.

She planned to play in the sand, run in the water, and play in the waves. Mon felt at home at the beach. She gave herself one last look in the mirror. Her face grew pink thinking about Sam seeing her so exposed. Much of her torso was revealed, including her chest and back. Was it acceptable for Sam to see this? Many strangers would also see her at the beach, but Sam was different. She slipped on the same dress she had worn before to cover herself before they reached the beach.

On the other side of the wall, Sam did the same thing. She decided on the black one-piece she had brought. She could have worn something similar to Mon’s swimsuit, a flattering, sexy two-piece, but she knew the whole time she’d be thinking about how Mon was perceiving her. So, she chose something she knew she’d look good in but at the same time wouldn’t have to worry about Mon’s stares.

They two would be matching in black. The back of Sam’s suit was very open while the front stayed covered. It was a pretty typical shape of a one-piece, except the sides had openings that showed off the waist and part of the hips, tied together with string. Sam tied it so that it showed enough but not too much.

She did a 360 in the mirror to see how she looked. She was pleased with what she saw. While she was in the bathroom, she put on her sunscreen. It was blended enough to leave no white cast. The cover up she would use today was a black collared long-sleeve shirt. She threw on simple denim shorts for the bottoms.

Mon sat on her bed and waited for Sam. She was taking a good amount of time in there. Mon had already packed her beach bag. It contained her sand towel, sunscreen, water, and some goggles.

“Can I come out?” Sam spoke from behind the door.

“Yes, Sam.”

Sam exited the room. She also went to pack her own bag. Except, hers was a lot larger than Mon’s. Mon thought maybe this was just Sam’s normal. She was way more well off than she was, anyway. Sam put on a black baseball cap and black sunglasses. Her eyes would be even harder to read hidden.

The two made their made their way down to floor level to reach the beach. Sam held the door open for Mon and they hit the ‘L’ button with a star in the elevator. In the lobby, there was a coffee and sandwich bar. It was here that they got sandwiches to replenish their energy. They both got a chicken pesto panini, and Sam added an iced americano for herself.

The shop was very cute. It had lots of green in the design and naturally felt earthy. The menu was written on a chalkboard. There was an array of coffee and tea drinks available with only a few sandwiches. They sat at one of the little available tables as they waited for their drinks. Many younger-looking people passed by and they figured these were also students. Therefore, most of the people on the trip would immediately go to the beach.

Sam wondered how she would be able to relax when there were students all over. She wanted to be at peace and have fun with Mon, but knew she’d be watched by others. She didn’t know why this was such a big deal for her. What other people thought about her occupied her mind all the time, but she did not want this. She envied Mon. It didn’t seem like she thought about this. If she did, she would’ve been open with Sam the night they ate ramen the way she was. She was never able to not think about other’s opinions.

“Iced americano and panini for Sam!” yelled a barista from behind the bar.

Sam got up and grabbed her items, as well as Mon’s panini when she noticed it was also ready. She put the bag with Mon’s in front of her on the table and she threw her bag over her shoulder.

“These smell delicious.” Mon put the bag up to her face and stood up to follow Sam.

Mon was right— it smelled great to Sam, too. The two women had the same idea and ate as they walked outside to the beach. It was obvious they were both hungry. Neither of them had breakfast. The butterflies took over the feeling of hunger in their stomachs. Mon audibly said “Mmm” after each bite, which made Sam smile and look away in embarrassment.

Mon felt that so far, everything was going well between them. It did not feel awkward for her. She could not tell for Sam, but it seemed like her normal demeanor was showing. She even got a few smiles out of her. She was sure that at the beach she’d be able to get even more out of her.

“Why didn’t you get a drink?” Sam inquired as she took a sip.

“I don’t know. I wasn’t really feeling anything.”

“Do you want to try mine?”

Mon examined the cup, “It looks very dark.”

While they walked, Sam handed her the drink in her free hand. Mon took a sip from Sam’s straw. It had a pink lipstick stain. Upon the coffee touching her tongue, she immediately made a squirming face. It was extremely bitter and hard to swallow. Mon enjoyed coffee, but to the point where it wasn’t even coffee anymore. Rather, it was creamer with a splash of coffee. She gave the drink back to Sam.

She took a bite of her panini to make the taste go away, “I don’t know how you drink this.”

“Don’t be so dramatic.”

“I’m very serious.” Mon made a face to express displeasure.

Sam looked at her straw. There was residue of pink lip gloss on it. She discreetly looked at Mon’s lips to see if the two matched. She swallowed. She went to take another sip. As she drank and let the straw out of her mouth, she dragged it along her lips. The lip gloss collected on her mouth. She made sure Mon was not looking at her as she did this.

Sam smooshed her lips together to blend out the lip gloss. It smelled sweet, very sweet. It smelled like Mon, but also new. She smelled hints of strawberry and another fruit. She breathed and licked her lips.

Strawberry and kiwi. Mon’s lips were coated in a strawberry kiwi lip gloss. It was heavenly. She felt as if she could also taste some of Mon through it. It tasted as sweet as it smelled, but even better. She bit her bottom lip to taste more of it. She looked at Mon’s lips again. Looking at them while tasting the flavor made her heart flutter. She continued to repeat this till the straw had nothing left to give her.

They finally reached what they had been waiting for. As soon as they stepped outside, they were hit with the aura of the sea. It was warm but not in an uncomfortable way. There were many Diversity students out as they expected. They lounged by the pools and bars. The beach was just a short walk ahead.

They took off their sandals once the sand came. It was warm and encapsulating. It was very clean, with no trash, seaweed, or rocks anywhere to be found. The ocean tumbled in front of them. The waves near land were calm and small, but more intense the further they went out. It was a completely sunny day, so the sun hit them from all angles. The hotel had umbrellas and towels they could use, so they took two towels and an umbrella to protect them.

Mon looked at the areas they could set up at. The beach in front of them was very populated. They could also go to the left or right where there were still people, but just less of them. People did not like to walk in the sand so much. There were other beachfront hotels nearby, so more guests were also enjoying the outdoors.

“What do you think? Should we set up here or go further down?” she asked Sam for what she thought.

The answer was obvious for Sam, “Further down.”

“Okay, let’s go this way.”

Mon squinted her eyes to see which side had fewer people set up on it. She walked to her right. There was no escaping people, but at least it would not be as crowded. She walked in front of Sam.

“Mon,” Sam hissed, “You’re kicking sand on me.”

Mon stopped and turned around to face her, “Oh, I’m sorry. I think you need to walk next to me.”

Sam reached down and brushed the sand off of her calves.

“You can kick sand on me to get me back, if you want.” Mon offered cheekily.

Sam looked down and considered the offer. Mon’s dress went down to her ankles, so she could not even get sand on her skin like she had gotten.

“Not fair. Your dress is too long.”

“Oh, well. Maybe you can get me later. For now, you’ll just have to walk next to me.” Mon smiled and turned around to keep walking.

Sam silently laughed while Mon could not see her. She sped a few steps to catch up and walk next to the younger woman. Mon always said the right things.

They walked for a few more minutes before deciding on a spot in between a couple and a group of girl friends. It was the best they would find on this busy Saturday. Sam asked Mon to hold her items so she could lay down the sand towel on the floor. Mon held two beach bags, an umbrella, 2 half-eaten sandwiches, and a drink, somehow. The towel was in Mon’s bag, and the bulkiness of what she was carrying made it hard for Sam to get out. Mon had to spin, bend over, and lift her arms to finally get it out. They both looked foolish together.

Sam shook out the towel and perfectly placed it down. It was pink with white stripes, with white tinsels on the ends. Was everything this woman owned pink? Sam could not fathom this. She stuck the corners of it into the sand. Mon was able to put down all she was holding and get a quick break before they had to set up the umbrella.

Mon opened the top half of the umbrella and moved around the towel to see what placement would provide them with the most shade. The bottom half of it had to be twisted into the sand. Sam tried very hard to do this and did not get very far.

“I need… help,” she said, defeated.

They tried it together which proved to be successful. Mon patted Sam’s head when she saw how hard she tried to no prevail. Sam thought that was cute, but also embarrassing. She hadn’t had to do many heavy-lifting tasks in her life. Mon finished setting the umbrella up. It was white and had the hotel’s name on it.

Mon wasted no time slipping off her dress once their setup was complete. It was quickly taken off and folded into her bag. Sam did not even get enough time to turn around from taking a sip from her water bottle to see her change. When she did, it was a complete shock. Mon was facing the water with her arms out and head lifted. She took in the sun’s rays.

Sam immediately looked away as if she was not meant to see this. She remembered they were at the beach, after all. Her eyes slowly made their way back to her, feeling somewhat scared to see. She first looked at Mon’s back. It was very exposed. Her skin looked so soft and pale. Her eyes traveled down to her waist. It was small and so dainty. It’d fit into Sam’s hands and arms just right.

Lower, her hips began to form. The curvature was perfect for her body. Lower, they grew. Lower… Sam bit her lip. Mon’s rear was very visible. Her bikini did not do much to cover it. It curved flawlessly. Every part of her body she was seeing was made for her. Sam couldn’t move on from her bottom. She could see where it ended and her thighs began. She bit her finger.

Mon turned around, and if Sam’s insides weren’t churning before, they sure were now.

“I’m so happy we are here.” Mon closed her eyes and smiled.

Sam’s eyes were even more delighted to see the face that matched the body. She looked beautiful in black. Maybe she would have to lend her something to wear to see more of this. Her eyes moved to her chest. Her breasts sat well in her top. She again was drawn to the waist she admired. So petite… so refined…

Mon opened her eyes and noticed Sam staring below where she should’ve been. This made her very shy. She wondered what Sam’s thoughts were. She seemed very entranced.

“What do you think?” Mon broke Sam’s hypnotization, “Did you make the right choice?” She put her hands behind her back.

Sam cleared her throat and looked at Mon’s face now. She had been caught.

“It looks good,” Sam tried to act nonchalant but actually stuttered while speaking.

Mon laughed, “Come on, don’t leave me ready all alone.”

Sam had totally been staring at her body. She did not try to hide it at all, either. Mon looked down at herself to see how she presented herself to Sam. It was a normal bathing suit to her. Sam certainly did not think so. This made her think Sam’s suit would be more conservative, but hoped not. She yearned to see the parts of Sam that she had shown to her.

Mon watched as Sam struggled to take off her cover-up. She did not struggle physically, but more mentally, as if there was a block in her hand coordination. She fidgeted with the buttons of her button-up shirt, not actually unbuttoning them. Mon wanted to ask her if she needed help so badly, but would not bring herself to do that. It might make Sam feel shy. In reality, Sam was already feeling extremely shy and wished she could tell Mon to look away.

Sam swallowed and turned away partly to quickly take off her shirt. Mon’s eyes were burning into her, just what she did not want. She took it off in a swift motion in an attempt to not make a big deal out of it.

It was all the rave for Mon watching Sam partially undress. Even though she did the action quickly, it was erotic to her. Once Sam revealed her arms and torso, Mon bit the inside of her cheek. She had seen her long and slender arms before, but still fawned over how they looked now. They were delicate and fair, glowing in the sunlight. Her smooth back also radiated the same glow. It was very exposed, with just two straps coming down to ultimately meet and cover her rear. She had shoulder bones that popped out. It was all so feminine. Mon imagined herself on the glowing skin. She was so beautiful. She didn’t know how she’d be able to contain herself.

Sam again struggled to take off the last piece of clothing before her suit and skin were revealed in their entirety. The farthest she got was unbuttoning her shorts. She did pointless things to avoid the rest. Drank water, put on more sunscreen, adjusted her hair, and straightened out the towel. As much as Mon thought she looked adorable beating around the bush, she decided to step in. After all, she promised Sam a fun and comfortable time.

“Sam…” Mon spoke softly, “Are you feeling shy?”

Sam crossed her arms, “No.”

Mon knew this was a lie so just said, “Okay. But just know I’m turned away now.”

Sam looked back to confirm she had done what she said. She didn’t know how long she’d be with her back to her so, very quickly, she slipped each leg out of the shorts. She stuffed them away in her overly-sized beach bag. Her hands smoothed out the one-piece to make sure wrinkles and bumps went away. She sat down on the towel. Mon was still looking away. Sam recollected herself before she told Mon she was done. She had to prepare for any of Mon’s comments or teases.

“Thank you.” Sam breathed.

Mon turned around and did just as Sam expected. Her gaze went to Sam and her body. Her bathing suit hugged her in all the right spots. Her breasts, waist, and hips were well-defined from the tightness. It wasn’t what Mon anticipated, but she loved it nonetheless. She liked Sam’s taller build and how her features complimented it. Her long legs were bent in front of her and she leaned on her hands behind her. She seemed very confident for the shy woman she was a minute ago.

Mon couldn’t help but smile, “You look beautiful, Sam.”

She noticed the slits in the side of her suit that showed off her waist and hips. It was the perfect touch to add that flair for her. The way she looked in the bikini plus the baseball hat and sunglasses was enough to make her drool. Sam bit her cheek to stop the grin that was coming from being called beautiful by the younger woman. The glasses could only hide so much.

Mon was ready to get in the water once she admired Sam for another minute or so. It could have been longer, really. She got lost in the beauty in front of her. Sam did not say anything, so she had no reason to divert her eyes away.

“Let’s get in the water!” she exclaimed.

Mon took off her shades and looked at the standing girl in front of her, “Slow down. We haven’t even had time to digest our food yet.”

“That’s such a myth.”

Mon reached out a grabbed both of Sam’s hands and gently pulled. Sam was startled but complied and lifted herself up. Her hat fell off in the process.

“Mon.” She widened her eyes and stared.

Mon noticed that her hat had fallen and therefore had led many astray hairs on the top of her head. The breeze did not help. She let go of one of Sam’s hands and began to fix the messy hair. She picked the strands and put them on the respective sides of Sam’s middle part. After, she ran her hands through the hair to smooth it out. Sam accepted this.

“Please?” Mon pouted.

Sam stared for a few seconds and began to smile. Mon took this as a yes and dragged her towards the ocean, walking backward fast. She could not see where she walked but trusted Sam to tell her if there was any danger.

“Mon!” The quick movements and Mon’s force made Sam smile harder.

She was not ready to get in yet, but was when Mon insisted with her lips. She led her blindly into the water. When she finally felt the cool, shocking temperature, she turned around. She continued to hold onto one of Sam’s hands. Sam let her.

As Mon made her way more into the sea, she squeezed Sam’s hand. The water was cold, and it provided her with something to channel the shock into. It was equally as cold for Sam. The water at this time was always hard to get into. It was cold and took getting used to. The sunlight also helped to acclimate them. Mon shrieked when the water hit the middle of her calves.

“It is so! Cold!” Mon yelped at Sam.

Mon continued to lead them deeper in. With each step, the squeeze intensified. Sam also expressed sounds of displeasure with the temperature. They were now at thigh level into the ocean.

“I don’t know if I can go any further!” Sam had to speak loudly to combat the rough sounds of the ocean and its waves.

Mon stopped going deeper and looked at Sam, “We just have to get used to the temperature right here. Do what I do.”

The junior woman gently squatted to get the whole bottom half of her body wet. She immediately jumped back up and yelled and laughed at the same time.

“I don’t think I want to do that.” Sam laughed at the woman.

“Come on,” Mon took Sam's other hand, “we can do it together.”

They looked at each other in the eyes. Sam’s eyes looked so soft to Mon. She was trusting and let her guide her with her walk and hands. Her face did not look tense. She was smiling and even laughing. This was perfect to her.

Mon counted down from three and they went down into the coldness together. This time, Sam tightened her grip on Mon’s hand. She jumped back up and leaned closer to Mon. Mon’s hands shifted to grab on under Sam’s arms to accommodate the closeness. Sam followed and used Mon’s forearms for support. Sam’s grip was very strong.

She tried to look mad, but her mouth just ended up downturned while her eyes and brows told a different story. She was not really mad— she was enjoying herself but wanted to mess with Mon. She was actually chilly, though.

“It’s too cold! You lied to me!” She was referring to how Mon told her this time of year was good to come to the beach.

“I would never lie to you. You just have to get used to it! I already feel fine.”

The waves started to intensify as Mon once again led them more inside. Their interlocked arms were now underwater. They provided warmth in the cool sea. Neither of them had a thought in the world that was beside each other and the water. It did not feel weird or flustering that they were so close. It felt natural.

Mon was walking backward. It was not smart for her as the shorter woman to do so. A larger wave creepily approached from behind, and Sam could not warn her in time. She called out her name and let go of her arms to run away from it. Mon turned around too late, and the wave almost completely submerged her. Everything but the top of her hair was soaked. She wiped her eyes with her hands, which were also soaked, so she could see could see where Sam went.

She looked ahead and saw the older woman feet away. She had left her in the dust. She held her hands out in a questioning way as she walked to Sam, who was not as wet as she was.

“I thought you would look out for me!” Mon yelled.

Sam took a step back as Mon dripped, “I called your name!”

Mon wiped her face and shook her hands to get the excess water off. Some of it landed on Sam.

‘Be careful.” She wiped her arms where the water had gotten on her.

“We’re in the water, Sam.”

Mon ran her thumb and middle finger through her hair to push it back. The water had made some strands get in her face. Sam watched her closely. Her hair became darker than the usual light brown. It was long and also stringy. She thought Mon looked good with dark brown, too. She could pull off both light and dark colors. Sam then watched the hand that entangled the mane. She wanted another excuse to hold it again.

Mon looked out into the distance behind her, “Do you want to go further?”

“I am not a good swimmer.” Truthfully, she was scared to go so far into the ocean.

“That’s okay,” she readjusted her top, “wait for me here. I want to get fully submerged.” She could have just dipped her body into the shallower water there, but it wasn’t the same as going deep enough to be covered.

Leaving too quickly, Sam was going to tell her to wait for her but was too late. She hurried farther in. Perhaps it was come back to Sam faster. Mon’s hands dragged across the water as she walked. Her fingertips glided, creating a clean break of tension in the surface. Sam watched her hips sway with each step till they eventually disappeared under the water.

Mon cupped her hands to bring more water onto her body. The liquid made her skin glow when combined with the sunshine. Sam admired her. Mon was in her element. She smiled even when there was nothing to smile at. The beauty filled her with whimsy. She finally was able to engulf herself. Sam’s first reaction was to panic when she couldn’t see anymore. Her head swiftly popped up and she swam in place.

Sam took a few steps forward, just in case anything happened to Mon. It’s not like she’d be able to help, but she’d be somewhat closer. She couldn’t push herself to go further. Her stare continued to focus on Mon. She kept diving into the water. When she came back up, her hair was slicked back and smooth. She turned around to find Sam and lifted her arm out of the water to wave.

Sam smiled and waved back. She always enjoyed Mon doing that silly hand movement she did. There were plenty of others in the water near them, but all that mattered was Mon. She grabbed her elbow. Mon backed up to where she could stand and played in the waves. When one would approach, she would either jump and ride it or go under if it was too high and would crash on her. This gave her more heart attacks.

Mon had so much confidence in the ocean. The waves were terrifying Sam that something would happen to her, but she could see Mon grinning and having a good time. Maybe it was confidence in herself, too. Sam was attracted to the overall trust she had for everything in her life. She knows she could never have that with the life she has lived.

The younger girl made her way back closer to Sam, but she took her time. She frolicked in the waves. She spun around, playing with the water in her hands, and continued submerging her head. Sam could not keep her eyes off her. Joyful Mon looked so beautiful. She was so happy to be here, with her. She already thought about it she had said no, she wouldn't get to witness her in her zone. Mon was now at the mid-thigh water level she was.

Mon’s time in the water made her bikini cling even tighter to her. It traced her sensitive areas. Her bottom part shifted even higher, exposing more of her behind. Sam could not get caught staring again.

“You should have gone with me! The waves are so nice over there.”

Sam questioned the word ‘nice’, “That was very dangerous of you.”

“Don’t worry,” she reassured, “I’ve been riding waves since I was young. My mom taught me how to do it as soon as I could swim. I learned to be very good at telling when to take it and when to go under to prevent myself from drowning.”

“It doesn't ease me for you to say that you can drown.”

“I’m kidding. The worst that can happen is I get dragged back to shore. Very uncomfortable, but a little fun.”

“Maybe you can teach me later. Or tomorrow.”

Mon’s eyes lit up, “I would love to do that.” The idea of teaching her something like that would require a lot of physical touch, which she smirked at.

“Sam. You’re barely wet compared to me.”

Sam took a look at herself. She was only wet up to her waist. Those parts of her body had acclimated like Mon said, though. As her head was tilted down, she felt cold water on her arms, stomach, and even face. Mon had splashed her.

“Mon!” she took many steps away from her.

Mon was proudly grinning with teeth, “It’s not fair! You're basically dry!”

“You little brat.”

Sam puffed her cheeks and was ready to accept this challenge that Mon inflicted. Cupping her hands, she ran to Mon and threw water all over her in return. It didn’t have the same effect as it did on her because she was already soaked, but she had to get revenge somehow.

Mon instinctively turned away as the man-made wave of water headed towards her, “You shouldn’t have done that, Sam.”

Not knowing what she got herself into, Sam put her hands up in front of her body to defend herself. It was no match for Mon’s strong splashing. It was cold each time. Sam splashed back at the same time Mon was, but the temperature was too much.

“Mon!!!!” Sam screamed and ran away from her.

Mon followed the older woman. It was harder as her legs took her further than Mon’s. Sam attempted to juke and trick Mon in what direction she was going, but it never worked. She always knew where she would go. When Mon could get close enough to her, she splashed water on her. Sam would either yelp or laugh like Mon had never seen her laugh before. Sam unsuccessfully tried to do the same because Mon would end up splashing her back much harder.

“I’m serious, Mon!” she smiled brightly when she said this.

“You need to get wet, too!” Mon shared the smile she had.

Sam continued to save herself and run. She ran in circular shapes to avoid straying to far from the belongings on the sand. A plan entered her mind. She slowed down her running and waited for Mon to be right behind her. Once she was, she turned around, took a large step, and quickly maneuvered to be right behind Mon. Her arms wrapped around Mon’s stomach from behind. She stood with her feet dug in the wet sand and tried to drag Mon into the water. This was the only way she could win.

Mon broke into an uncontrollable fit of laughter. She could barely yell, or even say, Sam’s name. She was going to lose. Her lengs bent and she used the tactic of digging her feet in the ground. She grabbed onto Sam’s arms to try to free herself. The girl’s hold on her was breathtaking in many ways.

“It’s over for you, Kornkamon.”

Mon was able to instead shift her body and become face to face with Sam. Their faces were incredibly close together before Sam grabbed Mon’s forearms like before. Mon followed suit. Their bodies swayed back and forth as they tried to take each other down. Mon had to take many steps back because of the other’s force. She wasn’t going to be able to fight back any longer.

Finally, Mon’s legs gave out and Sam tumbled on top of her. They had reached a point in the water that was shallow. Mon used her elbows to catch her as she fell on her back. Sam fell forward on top of her. Her hands landed at Mon’s sides to keep her from crushing in her.

The two caught their breaths from their battle. They stared at each other as they panted. It was not easy to run in water. Sam’s long hair hung down from both the right and left side of her head, creating a tunnel with her face at one end and Mon’s in the other. It was as private as it could get on the populated beach. Their hot breaths mixed together in the hollow.

It was loud and quiet at the same time. The waves continued to flow and crash. People continued to yell and scream. Birds continued to chirp and squawk. The proximity and enclosure of the two was silent. They were lost in each other’s brown irises. This color conflicted, yet complimented, the blue of the ocean.

Sam started to grow a grin. Mon did not know what for, but she’d do whatever for the woman on top of her. She showed a grin, as well.

“I win.” Sam whispered.

Mon couldn’t believe her. Sam released the girl under her and stood up. She reached her hand out so that she could pull Mon up.

This was the first time in a while that Sam let loose. She was so caught up in their interaction that she didn’t even get to think about what others were thinking of her, and she did not care about it now after, either. And it felt good.

They made their way back to land to recharge themselves. Mon gulped bottled water aggressively and Sam had her now warm americano. She looked over at Mon because she could hear how fast and how quickly she was drinking the liquid. She set the bottle down and let out a refreshed sigh. Her lips became bare from the underwater splurging. She found her lip gloss deep in her bag and reapplied.

“Mon. I need help finishing this.” Sam held the coffee.

“Blagh. I don’t want to. It’s so bitter.”

“Please.”

That was enough for Mon. Sam held the drink and straw for her. She only took a long sip, barely enough to make any noticeable difference in the cup. Her eyes shut tightly and that’s when Sam knew to pull away the drink.

Sam went for another sip herself, consuming the kiwi strawberry gloss left behind.

Chapter Text

Mon and Sam laid on the pink and white striped towel that curved with the sand’s dips and bumps. They had their stomachs to the ground and their heads looking in the same direction. Sam, toward the outside, and Mon, toward Sam. The older woman’s eyes were closed, covered by her sunglasses. She relaxed to the softening sunlight’s comfort. The sun was beginning to go to its rest behind the ocean. Laguna Beach had lost many of its guests. Many people started to go back to their homes or rooms since the sun began setting. Kids became fussy, parents grew tired, couples had bigger plans, and younger people wanted to explore more of the town.

Chattering and screams of fun went away. The waves started to die down as the sun inched away, too. The splashes made calming noises that made for an overall relaxing aura. It was the only sound that could be heard. The scene sounded straight out of a relaxing sounds video one would use to sleep. The occasional seagull squawked over something insignificant, which was the perfect touch.

Mon rested her head on her hands as she stared at Sam. Her breathing was steady. She watched the curvature of her back slightly rise with each inhale. Sam’s back was very open with the way her swimsuit was designed. Mon could see every bone, muscle, dip, mole, and freckle. That she did. She examined her upper back, which had a mole on the top right. It was small and brown, like her hair. Her lower back had two more.

Mon resisted reaching her hand out and poking at the spots. She wanted to run her hand along the curves she was admiring. Sam’s skin was glistening in the golden hour. It was glowing a soft orange. Mon could only imagine the warmth that must’ve been present on Sam with the mixture of sunlight and skin.

They had shared six hours together on the beach, which Mon was already reminiscing over. After they had a war in the water, they took a moment to rest and replenish their thirst. Mon wanted to go back in the waves, but Sam disapproved. She argued that they had already gotten used to the water temperature, so they had to go back in. This convinced her, and so they went in.

Sam was convinced to go deeper that time. Mon took both of her hands as comfort that she wouldn't leave her side while she did something she was afraid to do. She was able to get all but her shoulders and above in the water. The rest freaked her out. Mon was okay with this, as well as proud. She then taught her to jump when waves approached.

"Right when the wave is in front of you, push off the ground and jump. You’ll float on top of the wave. " Mon instructed.

"But then I won't be able to touch the floor anymore. " San showed concern.

"It will only be for a short, little time. The waves are not that strong here. You just have to kick your legs a little while you float."

Sam looked at the waves and then back at Mon, “Do not let me drown.” She looked serious.

“I won’t,” she smiled, “watch the timing of when I jump. After, you can try.”

Mon released her hands and went a few steps further into the sea. She waited for the next wave to come. A few approached, but they were too small. She looked back at Sam to make sure she was actually watching. Sam looked at her with attentive eyes. Mon waved and turned around to watch the water again. An appropriately-sized wave was coming toward her. She jumped once it was about two feet away. She gracefully flowed on top of the wave for a few seconds at its peak. Once the wave passed, she glided down to stand again. She did this a few more times before swimming back to Sam.

“Do you kind of understand?" Mon said as she shook water off of her face.

When Sam watched her ride on top of the waves, she wondered what kind of mother would teach their kid this. It looked scary to her, but it was a seamless task for Mon. The ocean had a mind of its own. Somehow, Mon shared the same mind. She vowed she was never going to let go of Mon in this process.

"That's okay.” Mon spoke very sweetly, "Do you see those people over there? They're doing the exact same thing as I was, except they take it a few steps further. They wait for the wave, jump, turn away from it, and swim. That makes them glide on the wave. It takes them all the way till the wave ends. They're essentially using their body as a surfboard. It feels amazing."

Sam looked at her like Mon was expecting something of her.

“But, that's for another day!"

Sam reached her hand out so it could be accompanied by Mon’s. Mon was very surprised at how willing the senior woman was to holding hands, among the other physical contact they shared when they play-fought. Samanan Anantrakul, the woman whose mere presence frightened others, played and was having fun. At least, Mon thought. Smiles, laughs, and giggles had all come from her as evidence. Had anyone else ever got to experience this side of her? If they did, she couldn't fathom how someone could let it go. On another note, she hoped no one else got to see her this way. Mon wanted to be special.

Mon scooted them further in, still respecting Sam’s limitations. She gripped the hand in hers. The warmth was pleasing in the water’s coolness. She looked in the distance. She watched for any waves of potential for her to guide Sam. Mon would tell her when to jump first, then would move on to having Sam do it herself.

“Okay, here comes one now. When I tell you to jump, do it.” Mon told Sam.

Sam looked at the upcoming wave. It was not that big, but still daunting. She looked at Mon’s face to get guidance on what she should be feeling. Mon looked adventurous and confident. She wanted that confidence to rub off on her. Looking at the wave again, she held on tight and waited for Mon’s command. It approached quickly.

“Jump!” Mon screamed.

Sam did as she was told. She pushed off the hard sand alongside Mon and hoped for the best. They jumped to an equal length, but Mon had to put in extra strength to match the other’s height. Sam shut her eyes in case any disaster were to happen. She put her trust in Mon, who knew how to manage the ocean.

The two’s timing was perfect, as they stayed on top of the wave for a bit as it passed over them. Sam kicked extremely hard to keep herself afloat. She did not want to sink while the water was higher than what she could stand. It worked, as her neck and head did not get wet. She opened her eyes to look at Mon’s reaction.

Mon’s eyes were wide, “Perfect, Sam!”

Sam smiled. The feeling of floating on the wave, even for a few seconds, felt amazing. Every force of water working with the body and not against it was thrilling. The calm feeling was similar to that of a lazy river. This was more exciting, though. They sank back to the ground as the wave went to the shore. Mon did a few small jumps in celebration of Sam. She lightly clapped her hands together underwater while still keeping contact with Sam.

When the time came for Sam to try it on her own time, Mon stayed nearby. She assured her that it was not hard and that she was right there to help her if anything were to happen– which, again, would not happen. Mon was going to tell her if the wave was good or not, because recognizing that required a lot more practice. When to jump was all up to Sam. Mon had no doubt that she would be perfect. They practiced together many times.

“That one is good! Get ready!” Mon called out.

Sam waited for the wave to be the same length away as when she jumped when Mon. She was nervous, feeling the pressure of Mon watching her. Her heart pounded a little quicker. She did not jump as soon as she was supposed to. She hesitated, but still pushed and kicked to float. She flared her arms under the water to also help her stay up. Her body was able to float on top of the wave, with her neck becoming submerged in the process due to the stalling. She surprised herself.

“Look at me!” she screamed at Mon.

Mon raised her hands above the water in fists, “Look at you! You’re a natural.”

A laugh came out of the older girl’s mouth. She succeeded in Mon’s eyes. That was something to be proud of. She came down from the height and looked toward the distance. She was on a roll that she couldn’t stop. A big wave was coming, and Sam got ahead of herself. She did not wait for Mon to tell her it was safe. She inched toward it and jumped to ride it.

Her leap was not enough to reach the peak of the wave. It was far too tall, one of the biggest of the whole day. She didn’t expect it to be so big, especially since no other waves had matched it that day. Her pride had gotten the best of her. The strong water toppled on top of her, completely engulfing her in the sea.

Mon immediately sprung into action and swam toward her. It was not a long distance, but it felt like an eternity. She scrambled to find Sam underneath the water that submerged her. The water made the area crash and flow with no remorse. Not long after, Sam poked out of the water, pulling her hair from her face and coughing. She was without air for ten seconds, but the fear made it feel longer. Mon went to forcefully pat her back repeatedly, in the case that she might have swallowed a lot of water.

“Sam!” she cried, “Are you okay? Get it all out.”

Sam put her hand on her chest to steady herself. She was able to not swallow any water, but panic had her breathless. Her breathing was regulating as she stopped coughing. Mon stopped hitting her and stepped to be in front of her. She rubbed her shoulder and arms, not knowing what it’d do, but to help her somehow.

Sam looked at the younger woman coldly. Mon’s eyes were filled with worry and concern as if it was her fault that Sam had tumbled in the water. Sam couldn’t help it, and started to laugh at the situation.

Mon’s worry turned into confusion, “Um... are you okay? What’s funny?”

Sam continued to adjust her hair and laugh, “I didn’t expect that. I think I got carried away.”

“You scared me! That’s for sure.” she began to talk more lightheartedly, “Seriously, do you feel okay?”

“I am okay, Mon. Other than the loss of dignity, I’m okay. I probably looked like a fool to you.”

“Are you kidding me? I’m so impressed, you don’t even know.”

“Do not lie to me.”

“I don’t lie. Also, next time, wait for me to tell you it’s a good wave!”

“I wanted to show you I could do it alone.” Sam took Mon’s arms off of her arms and shoulders and held them.

Mon’s heart skipped a beat. Sam held her hands so softly. Somehow, the touch on her arms made the rest of her body feel the same tenderness. It was so captivating.

“Well, do you want to go try again?” Mon said shakily.

Sam’s thumb massaged Mon’s hand, “I think that’s all I have in me today.”

Mon smiled thinking about that interaction. Her hands were so warm, and Sam looked so cute when her perfect look was ruined. Her hair became pin-straight and messy. To her, she looked like an adorable, wet, fluffy wiener dog. Water ran down her face and skin beautifully. Her brown eyes became small from the seawater entering them, which added to the cuteness radiating from her.

After the tumble, they once again went to their belongings to rest. Sam had to breathe for a little longer to catch her breath and free her from embarrassment. Mon did not make her feel bad about the situation, so that helped. Sam sat on the sand towel alongside Mon. Mon paid close attention to Sam to make sure she was alright, even if she said she was. Her hand fidgeted in the sand close by. She found a seashell.

The shell was in great condition. It was white and shaped like the classic scallop shell. She dug deeper into the sand and found a shell similar to that of a clam. It was also white but had many lines of gray on it. She showed the two items to Sam.

“Which do you think is prettier?”

Sam's eyes went side to side, “I like this one.” She pointed at the white and grey shell.

“Why?”

“It’s more interesting, I guess. It’s not plain white like the other one.”

“I think they’re both very pretty. I wonder what other shells I can find. They’re good to use for crafting.”

Sam looked at the sand to see what was on the surface. There were tidbits of rocks and some pieces of shells. They were not pleasing to the eye like the ones Mon had. She also remembered feeling sharp things on her feet in the water.

“I can find you some.” Sam stood up.

“That’s okay, Sam. I think you need to rest some more.” Mon worried.

“No. I am fine now.”

Sam walked toward the water. Mon quickly got up and trailed behind her. The senior woman stopped at where the sand was moist. The water had reached up to that point a few times, but not enough to make it very wet. She thought this spot would be good to find prettier items. Digging would not be too difficult, either. She bent down conservatively, as she was still wearing her bikini. Nothing needed to be flaunted to those around. Sam did not notice that Mon had followed her till she squatted down right next to her.

“I think this is a good spot to search. Look, I already found one.”

Sam spread out her hand to show Mon the shell. It was almost exactly like the white one from earlier, but it was chipped. It was also dirty from being in the slightly wet sand. They would have to wash off any shells found there.

“This one is no good, though. There shouldn’t be any chips or cracks in your artwork.” Sam tossed the white item in the water.

Mon’s eyes sparkled. Sam was doing a kind thing for her. It was too sweet for her to handle. She didn’t want to say anything to ruin the moment, so she instead joined Sam in looking with a smile. Her cupped hands reached into the sand, pulling up the grains and revealing anything that may be hiding in and under the sand. She had to stay concentrated. The task was dirty, leaving sand bits under their nails and residue on their hands. It seemed too dirty for Sam to be doing, but she continued to work.

The two searched in silence. Any shell Sam found, she would show to Mon. Mon would reply with a nod or a shake of her head. She did not decline any of Sam’s offerings, though. She was working hard for her. How could she say no? She would find some way to use them. She had to. Mon was more selective in keeping the shells she found.

Sam pushed herself up and dusted off her hands, “Come.” she ominously commanded.

Mon never said no to what Sam asked of her. She walked more up the beach to dry sand. She kneeled down and began doing the same digging motions. She knew what she was doing, Mon thought. Mon watched her do the labor. She checked every chunk of sand thoroughly. She ran her fingers on the ground as if she were running them through her hair. When she found something, she would blow the grains away and use her fingers to polish it. It could be rocks, shells, sticks, or trash.

She took the hint that Mon was satisfied with every shell and stopped showing them to her. She kept them in a little pile next to her to have both her hands free. Mon added her own items with the others. The silence was not uncomfortable. Searching the same area was probably not the most effective method, but the space between them was not to be prolonged.

Sam notices something shining in the ground and pulls it out. The sand smoothly glided off it, revealing a nautilus shell. It was a pearl shade, with pink, white, and a little blue. The sun showed off its beautiful iridescence. There wasn’t a chip or scratch. Sam looked at Mon and put the shell in the center of where Mon’s chest began. She held it in place.

”This would be perfect on you as a necklace.” Sam spoke.

Mon looked down. The warmth of Sam’s hands had made their way back to her. Sam was right– the shell was very beautiful, and just to Mon’s taste. She used her fingers to pinch the shell with Sam. Their hands touched.

“You have a good eye, Sam.” She smiled at the woman, flattered to be thought of.

“Can you make one?” she questioned.

“Probably. I already have strings and such materials.”

Sam nodded. She took the shell away from Mon’s body and tucked it away in her hand. This one was special, so she’d only be using one hand to dig from now on. The other would be to protect the shiny, iridescent shell.

Mon, recently across from her, shifted on her knees to be next to Sam. She searched the small pile and pulled out a similarly shaped shell, but it was very dark grey, almost black. She was very careful as she moved the other shells away. They were far too valuable to have anything happen to them. She turned to face Sam and did what she did to her. She held the basically black shell to her skin, where a necklace would sit.

“This one is the one for you.”

Sam turned around to look at her. Her gaze was first fixed on Mon. She had a face of pride as she held up the little black shell. It was cold on her skin. She looked down to see her delicate hands. Mom was careful, but she was also brave.

They spent another half an hour collecting seashells, but with a new goal in mind: jewelry instead of crafts. They both looked for shells in each other's preferences. Black and pink. Overall, they collected two overflowing handfuls. Mon emptied out a little stitched bag that acted as her wallet. She hid the cards and cash in her beach bag and put the shells in the bag. They were like real treasure to her. Somehow, it was more valuable than the things that had actual cash value.

After the collecting, Mon wanted pictures to always have this memory of the coolest woman ever hanging out with her to reminisce on. She didn’t know how to ask Sam, though. She had her phone in her hand and just fidgeted with the charm. Straight out asking Sam to take pictures might seem weird. She worried a lot about Sam’s opinion.

“Hey,” Mon blurted in hopes it’d lead to an idea.

Sam looked at her without saying anything.

“Do you want… can you take… a picture of me for my mom? I want to show her what today’s been like.” It sounded solid enough and could help her ease into her real plan.

“I can do that.”

Sam held her hand out. Mon was confused about why she did this. She thought it looked similar to when she wanted to hold her hand in the water. So, she put her own hand on Sam’s. She looked at Sam, expecting something more, but her expression showed the same confusion Mon had earlier.

“Your phone, Mon.” Sam asserted.

Mon quickly flinched her hand away, “Oh!”

She looked away for a few seconds to pretend to look for her phone, which was actually in her other hand. She was overcome with embarrassment. Of course she needed her phone to take pictures. Why would she ask for her hand? This was not what Mon wanted to remember while she looked back on the previous six hours spent with Sam. It made her feel embarrassed all over again.

Mon handed her the phone. It was quite flashy, with a bright pink case and a colorful phone charm that hung. The phone turned on with the movement, so Sam noticed the wallpaper. It was a picture of her, her mom, and a black bulldog.

“Is that your mom? And dog?” she asked.

“Yes! That’s my mom and my baby, Singha. I miss him every day.” Mon poked the dog’s face on the screen.

Sam thought it was sweet that her family was so important to her, so important to even have them as her wallpaper so that she’d see them every day. She wished she had that. Her wallpaper was a photo of the skyline when she traveled to Japan. She would never want to be reminded of her family so often. It’d be excruciating in many ways.

“He’s very cute,” Sam uttered.

“He is, isn’t he?” she boasted, “He’s also very good, you know. He eats all his veggies. We can even use carrots as a treat for him if he’s feeling extra good.”

“Carrots? You parented him well.”

Mon laughed, “He was a stray, surprisingly. Dogs of those breeds are never in the streets. We thought he was lost at first.”

“And what happened?”

“We took him to see if he was microchipped. He wasn’t, and he was so cute and young we couldn’t pass him up. Now, he’s been with us for about ten years.”

“Wow. He’s grown up with you.”

“Definitely. He was there for all my teenage angst and heartache.”

Heartache. Sam did not want to hear anymore. She slid her finger to the left on the turned-on phone. The camera app was opened. She held the phone up to see what she’d be working with. The quality was lower than that of her own phone despite having the same brand. She then held it to shoot at Mon.

“Oh, right here?” Mon fixed her appearance for the sudden movement.

“Yes. You look very aesthetic. Maybe just position your legs better.”

Mon was already in the process of doing so when Sam suggested it. Her legs bent toward Sam, then back at her. She leaned on one of her hands on the towel. She took aesthetic as a compliment and slightly smiled. She combed her hair to unknot any ties that may have formed from their activities. The breeze did not help. Her bathing suit also had to be adjusted to cover as much as it could. Her mom did not need to see so much.

Sam held up the phone and pointed it at Mon. She immediately noticed something in the shot. Mon’s bag was very close and in the frame. She reached over and quickly moved it away, returning back to taking a picture of Mon.

Mon was picture-perfect. She had one side of her hair toward her front and the other to the back. She put on her sunhat again. The pink ribbon faced the camera. She tilted her head slightly toward the shoulder that was higher due to her leaning. She smiled moderately without using teeth. Sam felt very warm inside seeing this poised Mon. She felt lucky that she was staring at her.

Sam got the phone close to her face to take pictures. She held her finger on the screen to adjust the background’s brightness. Getting the most perfect shots of Mon was her goal. She knew her way around the camera app, even turning on the nine grids to have the picture perfectly straight and aligned. She shifted her arms many times to shoot multiple angles.

“You are a professional, Sam.” Mon noticed all that she was doing.

Sam gave a nod and continued pressing the picture button. Mon through up an array of peace signs and hearts. Then, she closed her eyes and puckered her lips. Sam smiled a little, both at how silly it was and how flattering it was.

“Shall we go to a different spot? I think I want some over there, too.” Mon pointed at the water.

“Mm.”

The two got up and made their way toward the water. Mon led the way. This was all a part of her plan. She’d ask for more pictures, but she really wanted to take some with Sam there. The background of the water would make for a picture she’d keep in her mind 24/7. She stopped where the sand was still dry. She didn’t want to feel the dampness on her feet.

Mon shared her good thoughts about the spot and got into position again. She put her hands behind her and tilted her head again. This time, she smiled widely. She waited a few seconds after it looked like Sam had taken a picture or two to interrupt her.

“Okay, I think that’s enough. How about I take some of you?” she said impatiently.

Sam was a little taken aback and declined.

“Please? I insist.”

Mon got closer to Sam and pleaded. Her eyes widened in a soft way. She put her hands together as if she was a little kid asking for a piece of candy. To end it off, she pouted. The subtlety of her plan was diminishing. The whole scene was foolish to Sam. She couldn’t look at the woman, who was humiliating herself. Literally, she had to look away. She crossed her arms, having to say fine to put an end to Mon’s act.

“You’re humiliating yourself, Mon.” Sam chimed in.

“I would do anything for you, Lady Sam.” Mon winked.

Sam looked away again, ignored the comment, and walked blindly with Mon. She directed her to stand where she stood before. The spot had Mon’s footprints already outlined. Sam stood in them. Mon took a few steps away from her with her phone in hand.

“What do you want me to do?” Sam asked.

Mon looked puzzled, “They’re just normal pictures. You can do whatever you want. I can also send them to you later if you want!”

Sam polished her hair and looked at the camera. She stood still with her arms to her side. Standing up very straight, she looked awkward. Her face also had the same cold expression. There wasn’t the slightest bit of a smile. Mon changed her gaze from the phone to the perplexing-looking woman.

“Is everything alright?” Mon scrunched her eyebrows.

“Yes. Why do you ask?” Sam folded her arms, offended.

Mon took the opportunity to snap a photo at that time. Sam was portraying her usual mean manner, which she was beginning to find adorable. She wanted a picture in her phone of Sam in her natural element. She quickly took a picture and went to look at it immediately after. It had come out perfect.

“Mon.” Sam advised her.

The younger woman smiled. She swiped back to the camera and held up her phone.

“I couldn’t help it.”

Sam did not respond for a few moments, “So? Do I not look alright to you?” Her voice had an angry tone.

“No, no. You just looked a little uncomfortable, is all, but keep doing what you’re doing.” Mon spoke with caution.

Mon backed away and took more pictures. Sam continued to be as stiff as a pole. She tried to better her pose, forcing a little smile. Mon could tell it was forced because the rest of her face did not show any signs of joy. She took it upon herself to help her out, even though she just told her to be herself.

“Hmm… how about you try this?”

Mon came back to Sam and grabbed her arms gently. She placed one of them on her hip and moved the other to lay on her side, but in an elegant way. Sam let her body be manipulated. Mon did pose pretty in her pictures, after all. She tapped Sam’s left foot and pointed at a spot on the sand. She took a few steps back to see how she looked. Mon did the finishing touch of shifting Sam’s head.

Again, Mon walked back to her picture-taking spot. She looked at Sam through the phone. Something still did not feel right. Sam looked even more awkward than before. The slight smile she saw before disappeared again. She should have just let her be. Though, she would treasure the pictures she took forever, no matter what. There were at least 30 of them. Mon saw her future: scrolling through these photos to admire the beautiful Sam for hours on end.

Mon laughed, went to Sam, and undid the arms she had positioned for her, “I’m sorry. You should be yourself. You look great all the time.”

Sam stared at the woman moving her arms. She didn’t know why Mon touching her did not bother her. She wanted it to go on longer, if anything.

“I’m lucky to have the Lady Sam on my phone.”

Sam giggled quietly and straightened her face before saying, “Whatever.”

“Should we take some together?” Mon finally spit out.

Sam was not opposed to this. She didn’t enjoy having her solo pictures taken, but with Mon, it’d be different. They could finally have a picture together, proof of their evolving friendship. It was short so far, but there and existent. She hoped she could be less stiff. Mon did tend to bring her out of her regular demeanor. It was strange how she could. No one else was able to bring out Sam’s playful side.

“Yes.” she replied.

“Great!” Mon exclaimed, “Bring it in,”

Mon was eager to get next to Sam. She’d finally be able to have pictures with her next to Sam. She was already thinking of how excited Yuki was going to be when she showed them to her. Mon was making advances on someone she liked, which she never did. She has had her fair share of campus crushes but wouldn’t dare to do anything about it. Something about Sam drew her in a way she never experienced before. Of course, she wasn’t just interested in her in a romantic way. She greatly enjoyed Sam’s presence and their blossoming acquaintanceship.

Mon’s arm slid behind Sam’s waist once they were next to each other. Putting her arm on the senior woman’s shoulder would be a bit uncomfortable with the five-inch height gap. She held her waist very softly as if the touch wasn’t even there. She did not want Sam to feel as if the day had been too much in terms of the touching she had done. It was mutual, but nearing the end of the day, she didn’t want to push it.

Sam felt the hand even if it was just slightly. It was warm and drawing. She could tell Mon was holding out on actually just holding her hand. She did not do anything about it. Instead, she put her own hand on Mon’s waist as she thought this was what they were doing now. This is how she fits, she thought. Sam wondered earlier in the day how Mon’s waist fit into her hands and arms. She couldn’t look or say anything to the other girl. She waited for her to put up the phone and take pictures.

“Should we take some normal ones first?” Mon asked.

Normal ones. Sam started thinking about the madness Mon was going to make her do. There would be photo evidence, too. Mon held up her phone horizontally. The camera app was open. Sam looked at Mon through it.

“We can do that.”

Mon positioned herself, “Say cheese!”

Sam did not say cheese as she did not smile with her mouth open. Mon’s cheese was loud enough for the both of them. The two women’s heads were close as they smiled, and Mon took the selfies. They both had to resist themselves from looking at each other, as it would appear in the pictures.

“I know you can smile harder than that, Sam!” Mon teased.

Sam shrugged her shoulders like she didn’t know what she was talking about. Mon retaliated by wiggling her fingers on Sam’s waist and tickling her. She immediately flinched away from her, but Mon’s grip didn’t let her get too far. She showed the smile Mon so desperately wanted involuntarily.

“Mon!”

“There’s the smile I’m talking about.” She looked at Sam fondly.

Sam returned the favor and pinched Mon’s waist, “You are too much.”

Mon laughed and didn’t try to escape. She enjoyed Sam’s closeness, even if it was excruciating for a few moments. Little to Sam’s knowledge, Mon had been spamming live photos during the whole interaction. This would allow her to go back and have pictures of them with wide smiles, as well as little videos of it all happening. They might have been blurry, but Mon would still remember years in the future of this moment.

“How about… some silly ones?” Mon came out of her laughing fit.

She did not wait for a response and looked at the camera instead. She stuck out her tongue and waited for Sam to follow in her goofiness. Sam looked at her through the phone but couldn’t bring herself to be like Mon. Her expression was indeed silly. Sam kept her eyes on Mon and furrowed her brows. Her eyes also squinted smaller, and she pouted her lips. She expressed light-hearted anger at Mon while still being a little strange. This was more than enough for Mon.

“I have an idea.” Sam proposed.

Mon fixed her face, “What is it?”

Sam made her free hand into half of a heart, “We can do a heart.”

“Ooh! I like that!”

Mon released her hand from the older woman’s waist. Sam instinctively gripped onto Mon’s tighter, thinking she was going to slip away from her. Mon took notice.

“Don’t worry, I’m not going anywhere,” she winked, “I need my other hand to complete your heart.”

Sam lessened her grip on Mon. She felt a wave of embarrassment wash over her. She did not respond because she knew whatever came out would not help her case. Mon struggled to make the heart with Sam. The hand she tried to use would create the same side of the heart. She had to switch the hand she held her phone with to make it work.

Mon and Sam connected to make a not-so-perfect hand heart. Sam’s hand was slightly bigger than the other girl’s. It was not that noticeable in their pictures. Mon was quick to take them as the way she had to hold her phone was uncomfortable. Their heads were almost touching as they were tilted to encapsulate their amiability. Sam did her usual smile, which Mon matched this time. Mon pulled her phone between the two and clicked on the preview of their pictures. They were everything they both had wanted them to be.

Sam added her grip on the phone to tilt it more toward her. Her eyes softened. She stared. She couldn’t look away.

“Mon.”

“Yes, Sam?”

“I need you to send me these.”

Chapter Text

The sky was transforming into a beautiful mix of hues, unbeknown to the women who had their backs to it. Dark orange, soft yellow, and deep lavender combined to create a beautiful sunset. The colors danced above, making the last bright, breathtaking scene before the sun returned to the other side of the world. Its light was mirrored on the calm waves of the ocean, creating a glistening path inviting those to bask in its glory.

Sparse clouds had appeared toward the end of the day, with the shades reflecting onto them as well. Their white and gray color lost the battle between the orange, yellow, and lavender. The sand, too, took on a golden tone. The people still left on the beach were those purely there to close out their days with a gorgeous sight.

Mon and Sam basked in the last rays of sun, laying on the sand towel. They both closed their eyes after a while and laid in silence. Mon stared at the older woman for some time but stopped because the light became too much for her eyes. She tried her best to keep them open, even though the view was Sam’s back and hair. Every part of her was beautiful to her, anyway.

Sam noticed the diminishing warmth on her skin. She opened her eyes, expecting to be hit with brightness, but that was not the case. The world was darker than before, and it could not just be her sunglasses. She raised herself and took off her shades. She sat on the towel now, shocked by what was in front of her.

Mon felt three fingers repeatedly tap her back, to which she got startled and immediately perked up to look at Sam. Sam did not look at her. She instead saw the side of her face, which was golden.

“Look, Mon.” She did not stop tapping her.

Mon turned her head further to see what was making her friend’s face light up. She got up from her seal position and almost gasped. She was raised high on her knees to see it all better. The sunset was straight out of a painting.

Mon’s face glimmered just like Sam’s. She was enamored by the swirl of all the colors. Seagulls in a bunch flew by, returning to their homes for the night. The warmth the sun gave off was just the right amount. The breeze blew any loose strands of hair out of their faces so that they could see everything clearly.

Mon looked over to Sam, whose skin glowed orange like deep gold. She now had something better to be enamored by. She could see the environment through Sam’s eyes, but it was nothing compared to how well her dark brown irises shined. Mon has never seen her eyes lit so perfectly. She wished Sam could turn her head so she could stare at them directly. She settled on her knees and looked back toward the water.

“It’s so beautiful.” Mon cheered.

“It is,” Sam responded, “We almost missed it. You were lazily sleeping.”

“Hey, you were the one who started sunbathing first.”

Sam adjusted her position on the towel. She sat with her legs bent in front of her. Her hands were behind her supporting her weight, before Mon’s comment. She folded her arms and looked at her with irritability.

“Are you blaming me?”

“No, Sam.” Mon smiled, inverting her lips and hiding her hands between her legs.

Mon finally got to look at the beautiful eyes that she favored, despite Sam making her feel small. Sometimes, Sam’s comments really made Mon feel some fear. It was just like Sam had described herself before– not the friendliest. At other times, they made her feel belittled. She couldn’t tell if any mean remarks Sam made toward her were on purpose or just normal for the isolated woman. Mon liked to think it was the latter of the two so that she didn’t get her feelings hurt.

Sam noticed Mon’s immediate direct eye contact which wasn’t what she expected. She had just come off as daunting. It’s not what a normal person would have done. Mon was never what she expected. Sam could not keep up. Mon kept smiling and staring at her, for no reason. She raised her eyebrow.

“What?”

“Nothing.” Mon turned her head away and continued smiling.

Annoying. Mon was annoying. She made Sam feel so many things, many of which she had no experience to handle. She poked at her, joked at her, and played with her. Mon always had the nerve to cross her. It was as if she didn’t care about her prestige, her class, or what others had said about her. Sam was really just a regular person to her. Her background didn’t affect how Mon treated her, and it was annoying.

But she liked that Mon annoyed her. She liked that Mon didn’t treat her differently because of who she was. She liked that she didn’t just see her as the intimidating Lady Sam. It was challenging, but it somehow felt right. All the pushing and pulling wasn’t what she was used to, but maybe it was what she needed.

Sam looked back at the gorgeous sky and leaned on her hands again. She cleared her mind of Mon to be fully immersed in the sight. Meanwhile, Mon still smiled in the distance at what seemed like nothing. It wasn’t anything to Sam, but she was actually joyful due to Sam’s cute and tough demeanor and how beautiful she looked. She couldn’t be mean when she looked so stunning. Mon crossed her legs and sat straight.

They admired the setting sun and gave in to the calmness it brings. The tranquility floated through the breeze and allowed them to be in comfortable silence. Mon closed her eyes and let the rest of her senses capture the environment. It smelled of the sea, felt warm, and sounded oddly quiet. The waves were so calm that there was barely any noise to the crashes. Most of what she was hearing was the wind as it passed by her ears.

She started to think about the unbelievable factor of this trip, which she had already done multiple times. The fact Sam had agreed and actually committed to it was amazing for Mon, but she was also proud of Sam for going outside of her comfort zone. They had not known each other for a long time, but she could still say she took pride in Sam’s decision. She was so glad to have the senior woman next to her at this moment. She was also glad she hadn’t done anything to make her hate her, yet, at least.

Mon also thought about how lucky she was to find Sam at this school. Yes, she already had Yuki, but how fortunate was it that she found another student from Thailand? There was a large Asian population at Diveristy University, but this was different. Sam came from the city of Bangkok, not just the country. Even when school wasn’t in session, they’d be in the same city. That made Mon giggle.

“Do you ever think about it’s kind of rare we’re both here?” Mon thought three minutes of silence was enough for her to talk again.

“Where?” Sam asked.

“Here in California, at Diversity.”

“Why is that rare?”

“Well, we’re not from California, much less America. We came here from the same country and city. This university isn’t that big, but we got in, and we’re both here.” Mon counted off their similarities on her fingers.

“Mm.”

Sam did acknowledge in her head that it was a lucky meeting. Mon was like her, and worked hard, just like her. She wasn’t some party girl who treated being at college like it wasn’t a place to push yourself academically. She cared about her education while still enjoying her time abroad. They were relatable in a few ways.

“And we met each other. I mean, between ten thousand people, I might not have met you. But we did, and I feel like that’s pretty lucky. If there were any people who share our characteristics, I probably would have met them already. I am a junior, after all. I think it’s just us.”

Sam diverted her face in any direction Mon couldn’t see her and mumbled, “You probably feel this way about Yuki.”

“Hm?”

Mon knew exactly what Sam had said but wanted her to repeat it. She sounded weirdly upset, as if she were jealous. Mon wanted to probe more into this but decided against it. She didn't understand why she’d be upset. She waited for Sam to speak, but it never came. Instead, she responded like she had heard her the first time.

“I do feel lucky meeting her, too. But I feel even luckier with you. We have in common, you know?” Mon clarified.

“I guess so.” Sam breathed.

“You don’t think so?”

Sam paused for a bit, “I do. It’s rare and lucky.”

Mon smiled. She wanted Sam to feel lucky, too. She yearned to be wanted by her in any way. Mon’s hopes were that their similarities made Sam not like the rest of the people she tried to be friends with and abandoned. Once she was done grinning, she looked at Sam with a questioning face.

“How did you end up here?”

Sam immediately tensed up. Her stomach grew into a knot, and her expression grew even more serious than before. She tightened her grip on the floor as memories came flooding in. Memories of a dysfunctional family and high expectations, along with the chilling thoughts of her future. She could only be defensive at this moment.

“Why do you want to know?” Sam burst out.

“I did say I wanted to get to know more about you on this trip.” Mon reminded her.

Sam looked away. She didn’t want to be mean to Mon, but thinking about her grandmother inflicted both fear and rage on her. It’s not like she was unhappy being at Diversity. In fact, it was her escape from her broken family. It allows her to make something for herself. It’s the last place where she can live somewhat free before her future is decided for her. What bothers her is all the pressure she faces to be perfect. All the pressure from her grandmother to not be a screw-up in life, how she says her sisters are.

She faces so much pressure in every aspect of her life due to her grandmother having to step up as her and her sisters’ caretaker when their parents passed away. There was so much to explain– far too much for Mon to know. Sam knew she could tell Mon, though. Mon had never made her feel like she couldn’t trust her. She actually felt gravitated to open in this regard with Mon, like she had been the rest of the day. She swallowed and struggled with the internal battle of protecting herself or trusting someone. This struggle was due to the old woman, to no shock.

“My parents died when I was just a young girl,” She spoke quickly and looked up at the sky.

Mon, surprised by this sudden drop of a life-altering event, ran through in her mind how she was going to go about their conversation. She had to proceed with caution now. Sam was being vulnerable, and she’d do anything to make her feel safe and comfortable. Mon shifted her body so that she sat closer and right next to Sam. She continued looking at her, putting her full attention on the girl.

“My grandmother had to step up and take care of my two sisters and I. She still does now, but only me.”

Sam stopped talking for a little while. Mon couldn't tell if she was thinking, nervous, scared, or angry. She decided to help her out in telling her story.

“Where are your sisters now?” she asked.

“My oldest sister is out living her life now. My second oldest sister, she’s passed.”

Sam leaned forward into her bent legs. She hooked her arms under her knees and kept looking at the sunset. Sam looked clear of what emotion she was feeling in that moment: anger. Mon thought what she said caused this. She panicked and felt like she had already failed at having this conversation with Sam.

“I’m so sorry for your losses, Sam. I’m sorry for asking that. I don’t want to bring up any bad memories for you. I’m very sorry. I can stay quiet if you’d like me to be.” Mon apologized.

“No, Mon,” Sam chimed in, “Don’t be sorry. You can talk. You can ask questions. It makes it easier… you… talking too.”

A stunned Mon nodded her head and abided by her wishes. Mon didn’t move her eyes off Sam and physically reacted, even though she wasn’t looking at her. She wanted to be as attentive as possible.

“I’m not telling you the whole background, though. My grandmother, she…”

Sam struggled to find the words to describe her grandmother. She was nothing short of a bad person, but Sam could not say this out loud. She shouldn’t even have been thinking about it. It’s disrespectful to not honor family, especially an elder. It didn’t matter if she had done terrible things, unfortunately. But how could she be honest with Mon without saying how awful she was?

“...she’s caused my family so much harm. She’s very conservative and traditional, which isn’t surprising due to her generation and us being royal descendants. My oldest sister, Nueng, felt the first wrath of my grandmother. She was so creative, so artistic, and she wanted to pursue the arts. Creativity is useless to grandmother. It’s no passion for Mom Luang. She should aim for something that will get her a real job, she said. Nueng almost lost the artistic flame in her. She had to leave and break contact with all of her family in order to truly be free of the expectations she faced. I haven’t heard from her since, but I know she is happier now. It’s what she deserves.”

Mon shook her head throughout Sam’s talking.

“My second older sister, Song,” she grinned quickly before returning to her angry expression, “she felt the second wrath. She and grandmother had many, many disagreements. She tried to be the perfect granddaughter for her. She really did. At the same time, she knew how my grandmother acted was wrong. She liked to take me on outings so that I could escape her, too. Song ended up passing away after a big argument with her. She never got her happy ending like Neung.”

Sam was not telling the whole truth. Yes, Song and her grandmother had disagreements, but they weren’t just little squabbles. Song had a girlfriend and thought she could tell her about it. She didn’t want her relationship to be a secret, which ultimately caused her demise. Sam didn’t want Mon to know about the extreme homophobia her grandmother had, for whatever reason. She didn’t want Mon to run away. To be scared.

Mon wanted so badly to give Sam a hug, a shoulder, a hand, anything soothing. She couldn’t tell if it was the right thing, though. She felt so much sympathy for the woman. She had already gone through so much hardship in her life. Mon wondered what Sam’s grandmother was doing to her. She was next to feel the wrath.

“I’m so sorry you had to go through all this at such an early age. I can’t imagine it.” Mon sympathized.

“It’s not your fault. Don’t apologize.”

Mon took a mental note and asked, “What about now? Is your grandmother hurting you? Are you okay?

“My two sisters failed in her eyes, so now there’s me. I’m her “third time’s a charm.” Sam did not stop looking forward.

“Oh, Sam.”

“I have an unbelievable amount of pressure to be the best student here. I can’t be anything short of perfect. She’d be furious.”

“Is business really what you want to pursue?”

“It is, thankfully. I’d love to have my own company. I’m lucky to have a passion for a subject that is approved by grandmother. However, the passion is hard to keep alive when I have somebody over my shoulder telling me I’ll be worthless if I can’t succeed in my academics.”

Mon nodded. She’d let her keep talking.

“I can not fully blame her, though.” Sam bit her lip, “She wants what is best for me. She wants me to succeed. If this is her way of doing so, then so be it. I can not disagree with her.”

Mon wanted to say so many things. She had to restrain herself from calling Sam crazy for saying that. Of course, it is her family, and it’s hard to go against her. It's disrespectful and dishonorable, especially in Sam’s family. She had so much disdain for someone she had just found out existed ten minutes ago. She had a newfound need to protect Sam from all the evil she faces. Sam noticed Mon’s silence. It made her uncomfortable and made it feel like she had to prove something.

“I am under so much pressure every single day, really. That’s why coming here, with you, is such a big deal. This was time I could have spent studying or networking.” Sam emphasized.

“You should be allowed to do both. You can’t dedicate all of your time to working hard, you’re going to get burnt out. It can’t be good for you.” Mon argued.

Sam gritted her teeth, “I have to. I don’t have a choice.” Her breathing became heavier.

“You don’t have to, Sam. I’m really sorry you feel like you have to. You deserve to both work hard at school and have an outside life. Your life is yours and yours only. I want you to take care of yourself.”

The senior woman finally snapped, looked at Mon, and with a shaky voice said, “I cannot fail, Mon. I can’t. There is so much pressure on me to keep the family going.” Her nails dug into the skin that gripped her arms under her legs.

Mon looked into Sam’s glossy eyes. Through her pupils alone, she could see Sam had become panic-stricken. They were smaller than usual and not steady. The rest of her face attested, with her eyebrows drooped, and her forehead scrunched. Sam’s breaths were elongated and deep. Mon could hear every one. Sam needed not to think about this anymore. Mon jumped to calm her down, placing her head on Sam’s shoulder.

“It’s okay, Sam. It’s okay.” she began.

Sam’s eyes widened. She couldn’t do anything for a while. She froze with her mouth agape, softening the grip on her arms. The warm skin of Mon’s cheek was a delight to Sam’s body. It was the touch she needed. It spread to the rest of her body like fire, providing heat, comfort, and security as a warm blanket would. Mon continued to tell her everything was alright, but she could hardly hear it. Her focus was elsewhere.

The sun was inching closer and closer behind the ocean. Their side of the world was growing darker. The blues and oranges of the sky became gloomier as the light was diminishing. There was still enough, though. It was not nighttime quite yet. Sam settles, and allows herself to lean onto Mon’s head. Her own head rests on Mon’s. She watches the waves creep onto the shore and back into the big body of water.

The two stayed like this for a while. Longer than they had ever been in silence before. Sam focused on regulating herself, and Mon did the same. The center of attention was all on Sam. Mon didn’t make her feel wrong for what had just happened. Although, Mon felt as if it was partly her fault.

She may have pushed too hard, but Mon just wanted Sam so desperately to know she had a choice. She didn’t have to let anyone dictate her life. Family is family, but they don't have to be the end all be all. Mon could see the damage Sam’s given caretaker had caused. She started to connect a lot of the dots in her head on the way Sam acted and why she was so serious about her studies. Mon came to the conclusion that she was not upset with her because she gave in to her physical contact.

“I guess we’re both going to Diversity to make someone proud,” Mon spoke.

Sam’s ears perked, “How so?”

“My mom.”

“Is she like my grandmother?”

“No. She’s the most hardworking person I know, who I aspire to be.”

Sam knew a small smile was growing on Mon’s face as she talked. Her shoulder could feel Mon’s cheeks rising.

“She’s raised me alone since I was little. She had to work long days and nights to afford to stay in the city, and a child, of course. It’s always been just me and her.”

Mon’s smile faded. She bunched her knees to her chest, wrapping her arms around them. She still kept her head on Sam. Thinking about how far away she was from her mother while she was at university always made her feel some sort of guilt, despite knowing it was the best option for her. It reminded her of their first goodbye, where both of them broke down in cries. Her first few months away from home was a mental state she never wanted to be in again.

Mon sighed, “Coming here was a big change, but the right change. It’s a prestigious school. I’m pursuing a degree I can make something of myself with. I want to make her proud and also give back for everything she’s done for me. Those are my top two goals… but really, I’m on an academic scholarship. I can’t slip below a 3.5 GPA. I’d never be able to afford Diversity without it. So, I’m truly very thankful for you helping me out in our class.” She nudged into Sam’s clavicle.

Sam compressed her lips and beamed. Mon couldn’t see her, so she smiled to her full extent. She was glad to have made a difference where it mattered. She was proud of herself, and also Mon. They both had hardships. Though very different, they could relate to the pressure of succeeding. And maybe, the feeling of putting one above self. There was a lot she wanted to say, but not much she could get out.

“That’s really admirable, Mon.”

Mon closed her eyes and let herself sink into Sam.

“Don’t forget to take care of yourself… too.” Sam added on.

As her body temperature rose, Mon didn’t know what to do with herself. She felt so open and exposed to all her surroundings. They were so close in the big, open world. The beach was by no means empty, yet that’s what it was like for the both of them. Just two souls, bonding and connecting.

“I will. Thank you for being vulnerable with me.”

Mon took a breath and a chance. She leaned her body on Sam’s. She still held her legs to her chest but yearned to be closer. Closer to the woman who made her feel seen. Their arms, hips, and legs smooshed together. It was as if their bodies were connected at the side.

Sam did not move. She kept her head on Mon’s and let her body collide with hers. She was frozen on what to do in these types of situations. Opening up was something not known to her. She was taught to keep her emotions to herself, as sharing them showed you were weak. Being vulnerable was a one-way ticket to backstabbing. It had just come to her mind that she might have made a mistake. For some reason, her feelings slipped out so quickly with Mon.

She hoped, wished, and pleaded she wouldn’t regret this later on. Mon had shown her no reason to believe she would, but her past experiences have. Her grandmother told her never to be open with someone because they could use it against her. She saw this with her sisters. When they tried to share things with their grandmother, she would turn around and use it as some gotcha point. Sam let Mon lean on her, thinking she needed it at this moment.

Quite frankly, she needed it too.

Time passed as they enjoyed the comfort. Their mind consisted of thoughts like “I can’t believe this is happening” and “I never want to leave.” Uncomfortable yet so comfortable, the two didn’t dare to move an inch unless it was to ease ever so closer.

Mon could not believe that in such a short amount of time, she had this cold looking girl like this, on a beach, sharing her life, and bonding. They were so close that Mon’s heart had almost pounded out of her chest. It certainly had never felt that way when she made contact with her friends. She hoped to be stitched to Sam for the remainder of the weekend.

The younger woman felt extremely special to be let into Sam’s life. She’d done something no one else at this school had done. There was a little part of her that hoped people saw them and gossiped about it, so everyone knew that Sam was hers. It wasn’t quite true, but she wouldn’t mind people thinking it. If it made anyone who thought they had a chance with Sam stop their advances, she wouldn’t mind rumors spreading.

Mon tends to get ahead of herself, hence wanting everyone to know Sam is hers despite nothing romantic explicitly happening between the two. After all, she didn’t even know if she liked girls. Sam didn’t know that about Mon, either. Neither of them had brought up their dating life. There wasn’t a time when it could be brought up naturally. Honestly, they both had their reasons for not wanting to bring it up, anyway.

She wondered if Sam’s heart pounded, too. It did. It was just as likely to exit her chest, and perhaps even more. This was a foreign situation to her, so she did what she knew how to do: be quiet. It was nice to be with her just in silence, so it worked for her.

In the time they sat together, the sun had disappeared. It was no longer visible, taking its place behind the skyline. The sky was turning a darker shade of blue by the minute. The only light that remained was from the street lights that illuminated the sidewalks leading to the beach. They both knew it was getting time to leave, which neither wanted.

Yuki texted Mon earlier about a house party happening tonight. One of the student’s families owned a home nearby, so they were hosting. A good bunch of Diversity’s students were affluent. Mon thought this could be a good transition into leaving. She also squealed thinking about going to a party with Sam.

She imagined Sam would wear some cute, maybe revealing, clothing. They’d dance together, maybe on each other. Mon couldn’t wait another second longer.

“Look at that, we stayed here till the sun is gone.”

The breaking of silence made Sam jump. Mon finally lifted her head to look and check on Sam.

“I’m sorry, did I scare you?” she recognized.

“No,” Sam cursed herself for getting startled, making Mon get off her shoulder. “It did get pretty late.’

“Did you have fun?”

Sam let a grin escape while biting her cheek and diverted her eyes from Mon. Mon adjusted herself to make sure she was seeing her correctly. A huge smile grew on her face.

“You had fun!” Mon exclaimed.

Sam shrugged and hid her face. Mon poked at her.

“Samanan Anantrakul had fun!” She broke into a fit of laughter, which made Sam do the same.

Mon could never get tired of seeing Sam smile or laugh. It was so new, and fun to make her do. She genuinely looked so bright, like she was born to be doing so for the rest of her life. Her eyes squinted so tightly and her cheeks grew large in size. It was perfect.

“Okay, okay, maybe I did. Is that an issue?” Sam furrowed her brows.

“Not at all.”

“You know, it’s not nice to treat the honorable this way.”

“My apologies, Lady Sam,” Mon smirked.

Sam nodded to show Mon she had fixed her wrong. Secretly, she loved it. Every single second of her attention and taunting the woman fulfilled her. She’d bathe in it if she could. Mon would be lying if she said she didn’t savor it, either.

“Anyways,” Mon led, “My friend told me about this house party happening tonight. Is that something you’d be interested in? I thought it could be fun.”

Sam thought about it and crossed her arms, “Don’t wanna.”

“We don’t have to be with anyone. Just us two, like today.”

“Don’t wanna.”

Mom pursed her lips and looked down. She accepted the loss and looked onward. That was that.

–-------------------------

Mon and Sam made their way through the dark outside back to their hotel room. On their journey in, they encountered the resort putting on a show in the pool area. The different depths and sized pools illuminated with multi-colored light bulbs. Dancers and performers followed along to a loud, drum-filled beat. Some held fire, and others shined with strobe lights. The lights in the zone had been turned off for all the luminosity of the show to be the focal point. The two stopped for a few minutes, but it quickly became loud and overwhelming.

They didn’t think about grabbing food, far too exhausted from the sun’s rays. Half-eaten sandwiches were still in the bags from earlier. This could be their makeshift dinner. They talked about the highs and lows of the day on their way up. Sam’s low was getting drenched and losing her dignity to a wave, while her high was winning Mon in their water battle. Mon brought up watching the sunset and teaching Sam what she was once taught. On the other side of Sam’s experience, losing was her low.

Mon saw students in the lobby in going-out clothes, to which she brought up the party again to Sam. She asked her if she was sure she didn’t want to go. Sam did not change her mind and told her, “Maybe next time.” Mon giggled at the thought of next time. She would hold onto her words till she could use them as evidence.

A crisp, cold air violated their bodies when they entered their hotel room. They left it in good condition, which they thanked themselves for after a long day. Their bags were neatly aside and their beds were tidily made. Mon offered to let Sam shower first, which she came to regret. It turns out Sam’s beauty did not come without time. Mon sat on the office chair next to the desk while she waited. Forty minutes passed with the water on before she started taking note of how long the other woman was taking.

She decided to eat the rest of her food as she scrolled on her phone. A leftover, soggy sandwich had never tasted so good. She texted Yuki on how lovestruck she was with today’s events. Having so much fun and contact with Sam only made her want her more. Yuki fueled her hopes, telling her Sam was totally dropping hints to her. Whether a good friend would give into delusions or be realistic was subjective. Yuki genuinely believed Sam wanted something more with Mon, though.

At minute fifty, the shower stopped, and Mon listened to Sam step out, shut its glass door, and rub a towel against herself. She felt like a creep being able to hear it all, but the top and bottom of the bathroom door were not sealed in a way that kept noise in. The air conditioner was also not on at the moment. A loud noise started– a hairdryer. Mon couldn’t believe her.

She switched apps on her phone to photos. She scrolled up to find the pictures she had taken earlier of just Sam. It was adorable how awkward she looked. Every position she did was not quite right, and her smile looked forced. Another thing she admired was Sam’s body in her black bathing suit. She couldn’t stand how hot it was. She was already missing seeing it. Mon stared at the photos for the rest of the time before Sam came out. It helped pass the long time.

Sam slid the door open and came out with dry hair. Mon could only laugh at her impracticality before examining her fully. The dark strands hung in front of her shoulders, covering the spaghetti straps of her black silk nightgown. It went down a little ways past her bottom. Over the gown was a somewhat see-through black pajama robe. She held a folded towel in her hand, one she had brought from home as it did not match the white towels the hotel provided.

Mon hopped in the shower for her turn. She picked a white tank top and pink lounge shorts from her bag to wear to sleep. It was the only pajamas she brought, unlike Sam who brought many options in her luggage. Sam took off her robe before getting into bed. She was not ready for the day to be over. Today was the first day she ever had fun, without it being with one of her sisters. Unfortunately, she didn’t know how to keep it going.

Mon came out of the bathroom, rubbing a towel all over her head to dry her hair. Sam’s eyes darted to Mon’s waist, which her sleepwear greatly accentuated. Her stomach was showing due to her tank top was cropped. She noticed that Mon wasn’t wearing a bra under her shirt. Her heart skipped a beat. This must’ve been something normal to her because she didn’t care to hide it. They perked in her shirt. Her eyes did not move.

“That shower was so needed. I felt so sticky.” Mon effused, finally looking at Sam after drying her hair.

“Mhm.” Sam said bluntly.

Mon saw Sam’s cold, piercing stare. She didn’t look at her, but rather lower. Mon looked down to see what it was she was staring at. There was nothing of importance, so she looked back at her. Sam’s stare was daunting. She was scared she had done something wrong. Her response was dry, so she continued getting ready for bed. She wanted to get ready in the same room as Sam, savoring all the time they had together.

Even when she was turned away from Sam, Mon could feel her eyes burning holes into her skin. Brushing her hair was the last thing to do before climbing into bed. She turned around, and Sam stared into her eyes now. Her face was stone, yet so emotional. She wanted something, needed something. Sam patted the empty spot next to her on her bed.

Mon was confused by this action. She thought Sam was inviting her onto the bed, but that’s not something she thought she’d do. What other meaning could it have, though?

“Me?” Mon clarified, pointing at herself.

Sam only nodded. Mon, terrified, walked over to the unoccupied side. Her stomach dropped with every single step. She slid off her fuzzy flippers and forced herself to sit on the bed, facing away from Sam. She waited a few seconds before turning around and being on the bed the proper way. She crossed her legs, put her hands in them, and sat up straight. Not daring to even glance in Sam’s direction, she looked at her hands, the television, her bag, her bed, anything else she could.

Sam saw Mon sitting like a brick. She didn’t want her just sitting there. She wanted her as close as she could without directly saying it. The older woman wasn’t ready to be so far, or a bed length apart, from Mon yet. Sam reached her arm over to lift the covers by Mon’s side, not saying a word. When Mon continued to be still, she tapped the covers again, hoping she’d get the hint.

If Mon was terrified before, she was mortified now. She lifted the covers slowly and put her feet under them. They were cold, sending shivers up her spine. She rested her back on the headrest, scared to go even more under the duvet. Her hands intertwined to lay over her stomach. Sam watched her every move. Her silence did not help her nervous state.

With the flick of a switch, Sam turns off the only light left on in their room. They can no longer see anything, which both intrigued and terrified Mon. The balcony door was covered with blackout curtains, but the moonlight still seeped through the top. It was not enough to provide adequate lighting, though. Mon truly didn’t know what to expect. Perhaps Sam just wanted to sleep by her side, but that was odd.

They laid distanced from each other. Mon fidgeted with her hands and Sam looked forward now that she couldn’t stare at Mon. She was stuck on what to do and how to escalate this. Mon probably thought she was a freak. There were so many things she wanted to do that she couldn’t find the reason for.

Sam knew that what she felt for Mon was not normal. She knew it wasn’t just nerves from meeting and getting to know someone new. She knew that she desired to be with her in a way she hadn’t been with someone before. What she didn’t know was why it was all happening. What caused these feelings. She had never felt so infatuated by someone.

Sam never had a typical crush like others do. She never took a liking to anyone in a romantic way. Even at a young age, she could never relate to her grade school friends crushing over the boys in their class. Sam found it stupid and a waste of time. She could never feel the butterflies in her stomach like others said she would. She couldn’t exactly say what Mon made her feel was butterflies. Her stomach definitely churned and twisted into many knots when she was around. Whatever it was, she was going to do as she needed to get her way.

She was finally able to blurt something out to end the building tension, “Any plans for tomorrow?”

“Of course,” Mon was relieved to hear something other than the sound of their shuffling and breaths.

“What are they?”

“It’s a surprise.”

“Oh, come on. You have to tell me.” Sam begged.

‘Hmm, you’ll have to trust me,” Mon elongated her words in a playful manner, “Do you trust me?”

Sam bit her lip and smirked, “I trust you.”

Mon bit her finger and resisted inching closer to her.

“Goodnight, Mon.”

“Goodnight, Sam.”

Turning away from each other, they exhale together. Mon was so confused about what was happening. She was in bed with a pretty girl, one that she had taken a huge liking to. She didn’t initiate this, so she didn’t think this was an opportunity to try anything. She imagined trying to cuddle her, but out of all the 100 possibilities in her head, only a few had good outcomes. She grabbed onto the covers and raised them to her chin. Awkwardness and nervousness were not going to help her fall asleep. She bundled herself into the fetal sleeping position.

Sam’s heart had never raced so hard before. She prayed to everyone that Mon could not hear it pounding in the quiet room. They were so close, sharing the same sheets. She couldn’t calm her body down. She was criticizing every action she was doing at that moment. From how she was breathing to what she was saying, she felt like she was screwing up. She invited Mon to sleep with her, sort of. She recognized how confusing this must be for Mon. A big part of her hoped Mon, as usual, initiated a possible connection between the two. Instead, she turned shy and quiet.

Okay, so she didn’t directly invite her to sleep with her, but Mon went along with it. She did not ask questions or show disapproval with being in her bed. She probably wanted to be here, too. That is what Sam hoped. Her mind raced a million thoughts a mile. She couldn’t take it. She felt she was losing a moment as she laid there still and let Mon fall asleep. Courage and impulse shot through her veins as she quickly turned around to hug Mon from behind.

Sam’s arms wrapped around both of Mon’s sides, hooking her so that her hands graced Mon’s shoulders. Mon had her back to Sam, so the taller woman ended up with her head slightly on top of the other woman’s. Her torso and legs pressed against Mon’s under the duvet cover. They were skin-to-skin in many areas due to their cloth-deficient pajamas. Sam had no idea what her body had just done. She didn’t know how she got here. Just as surprised as Mon, her body temperature spiked high like hers.

Mon felt like she was going to pass out. Once again, her heart felt like it was going to pound out of her chest. Her breathing accelerated as Sam settled onto her. She didn’t dare to turn around or utter a word before Sam.

“Is…” Sam stuttered quietly, “..this okay?

Sam’s thumb grazed and drew circles on Mon’s upper arm and shoulder. Mon grabbed onto her hand, keeping it still and smiling.

“Yeah.” She interlocked fingers with her and drew circles in Sam’s palm.

Mon could tell Sam was nervous. She could feel Sam’s racing heart. Her adoration for her grew a thousand times bigger in size. This was very unlikely for Sam; It was understandable. Mon tried her best to relax herself in hopes of it rubbing off to her companion, but this was truly like a dream. Falling asleep in Sam’s arms was something she never even imagined could happen. Not anytime soon, at least. It was everything she thought it would be, and more.

Their bodies molded as one, basking in the contact and warmth they contracted while covered. They provided the comfort as they did in the sea. A cold sheet and a cold ocean tied them together. They took up little space on a large bed. Scrunched together, their bodily functions look at each other for regulation. Neither could believe the other. Sam wanted this so bad, and so did Mon. It was precious.

The smell of Mon’s freshly washed hair radiated to Sam as she held her close. It smelled new, but captivating. Mon usually smelled of flowers, but that scent wasn’t present tonight. She figured it was due to the hotel’s short-time-use shampoo, as her head had strong hints of lemon and mint. Beneath the strength, she found Mon’s natural sweet smell. And oh, was it sweet.

Sam’s nose drew to the top of Mon’s head. It was addicting. She couldn’t pull herself away. Once Mon’s breathing slowed and she stopped drawing shapes in Sam’s palm, she was sure the shorter woman had fallen asleep. She caressed the spot she just had her face to, and planted a soft kiss on Mon’s crown.