Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Nabi crouched down to look at the man who had fallen asleep in the tangle of roots at the bottom of one of the trees. She tilted her head as she observed him. He was still breathing, although he had quite a few cuts and bruises on him, as well as dirt and stains all over his clothes. She glanced around, finding that the forest had fallen back to its normal silence now that she had found what it wanted her to. She reached out and gently tapped his outstretched leg a few times, hoping to wake him up without scaring him.

San doesn’t remember how he ended up in the forest after the fight he had with the others. All he knows is that he needed to get away from them, and he let his feet take him as far as they could. Growing up everyone had always told him to stay out of the forest, Hearing stories of the evil spirits and creatures living in it, and that if he did have to go in it then never stray from the paths. He had lost the path long ago, and he was now wandering, crossing streams, tripping a few times, feeling like something was pulling him further into the trees, further away from his family and the safety of home. Eventually, he grew too tired to keep walking and curled up in the safety of some tree roots that twisted, making them look almost like a nest. When he began regaining consciousness he was first aware of the roots still cradling him, then he became aware of the tapping on his leg. He took a sharp breath in, remembering the stories about what lived in the forest he had thoughtlessly fled into the night before. After he took in a breath, the tapping stopped and after another moment passed he cracked open one eye. He was expecting to make eye contact with a terrible beast, about to put an end to his existence on this plane. However, he made eye contact with a woman who had white hair, golden eyes, and a glow about her that made her seem otherworldly.

“Oh good, you are alive. I was a little worried.” She spoke fully drawing him out of his drowsy state.

“Where am I? Who are you?” He asked attempting to get his limbs to listen to him and pull himself into more of a sitting position.

“You are in the Forest, quite far from your town as well.” She mused, glancing around where they were, “As for your second question, I believe I should be asking you, Cambion.” She said making eye contact with him as she spoke the label.

“You know what I am?” He asked in shock.

“I know what everything in this forest is, was, and will be.” She stated.

“My name is San…” He said trying and failing to hide his awe.

“I see, nice to meet you. My name is Gwilwileth, Nabi in your language.” She informed.

“You know I am half Demon, what are you?” He asked.

“I am an elf.” She stated.

San was in shock, he had learned that elves used to have a very large population, but nowadays it was very hard to find any.

“Why did you come into the forest? It isn’t very safe for others here.” She asked breaking him out of his thoughts.

“I am not sure, I got into a fight with my friends and something drew me here…” He said.

“I see… well the forest wanted you here, and I doubt it will let you go easily until it wants you to leave.” She said standing up and holding a hand out for him to take.

“If it is dangerous then why are you here?” He asked.

“This forest is mine, it can do me no harm. I serve it, and it serves me.” She said taking his hand and pulling him to his feet.

“This forest has been here for thousands of years…” He said thinking aloud.

“Has it been that long already?” She asked looking up at the sky like the clouds would tell her the answer to her question.

And something about the air around Nabi, made him think that maybe they would.

“Come along, it’s gonna start raining soon, and I don’t think you want to get soaked.” She said looking back down and smiling at him.

“Where are we going?” San asked falling into step a few paces behind her.

“My house.” She said.

As they walked through the woods, San couldn’t help but flinch at the sounds of beasts he would hear off in the distance, especially the Jabberwocky cry that was way too close for comfort. However, he couldn’t let himself be too scared when Nabi paid it no mind, not ever turning her head to look at the direction the sound came from. Not too long after they started walking they broke into a clearing, and San was in awe at the sight. There was a decent-sized home, it had intricately carved wooden archways, and large glass windows, as well as flowers growing up it in places. Behind the house, he could see a beautiful pond, a weeping willow with a bench sitting along the visible edge of the crystal clear water. There was also a large garden, holding both flowers and vegetables. The sun that warmed his skin felt different than any other time he had felt the star’s light touch his skin, almost like it was making itself softer to not cause any harm to himself or any other life in the clearing. He couldn’t help but think about how much Jongho would love the pond, and how much everyone would love the garden. Nabi turned to look at him, eyes seeming to read him like an open book. However, if she knew about the sudden ache of longing that settled into his chest she didn’t say anything, simply gave him a small smile and gestured for him to enter. She lead him to her kitchen, having him settle down in the small breakfast nook as she made them tea. As she worked there was a rumble of thunder and soon it was almost impossible to see more than a few feet out the window due to the rain pouring down from the dark sky.

“Here you go.” She said setting a cup in front of him, and taking a sip of her own as she sat down at the table with him.

“Thank you,” San said lifting the cup to his lips.

His whole body relaxed as the sweet and refreshing liquid passed over his lips. He had never tasted a tea like this before, and he was instantly a fan.

“So, what was the fight you had about?” She asked gently placing her cup down and looking at him.

San was quiet for a moment, staring into the cup of tea, not knowing where to start. He glanced up for a moment and saw in her expression that she was more than willing to wait for him to get his thoughts sorted. He thought back to the previous evening, it had happened a little before dinner when he had gone to talk to Hongjoong about advancing his witchcraft studies. He wasn’t exactly sure how to argument had started, but it was clear that Hongjoong was against him advancing any further, and it became clear to San that the only reason was because of his Demon ancestry. The next thing he remembers was that somehow the rest of them got dragged into the argument, Wooyoung, and Yeosang were the only ones clearly on his side, the rest either stayed neutral or sided with Hongjoong. Eventually, there was too much energy, and San found himself running away.

“I love my coven, they are my family, and I would do anything to protect them…” San said eventually breaking the silence that fell over the two of them.

Nabi looked up at him, nodding her head in acknowledgment that she had heard him speak.

“But sometimes, I know that they are scared of what I am. Scared that I will lose control of myself and hurt someone. I want to grow, reach the full potential of my magic, and learn who I truly am. However, their fear of…me, makes it difficult to do so.” San said.

Nabi didn’t say anything at first, just nodded and stirred her tea, watching the liquid swirl around the cup.

“Who do you think you are?” She asked him.

“I… I don’t know… I try to be good, but I can feel the good and bad sides of me fighting for control.” San admitted sadly.

“My mother was a light elf, and my father was a dark elf. For a very long time, I was obsessed over which one I would become, fearing that one would overpower the other. That the part of me that was deemed ‘Evil’ would win.” Nabi admitted.

“How did you fight it? How did you get the bad part to go away?” San asked desperately.

“I didn’t. I learned that there is no such thing as purely good or purely evil, everything in this world is a mix of both. It took a lot of work, but I learned how to use the potential I had from both my ancestors to grow and become the person I wanted to become, and I am still growing, but I will never deny or label a part of me as bad or good.” She said.

San was quiet for a while, thinking about what she said.

“But what if I hurt someone?” San asked.

“Every living thing is capable of causing harm, accidents happen, and situations vary.” She said.

“I don’t think the others would agree with you,” San muttered.

“Maybe not, may they would.” She said shrugging.

“I don’t know what to do?” San said sinking into his chair.

“Stay here for a while, I will help you explore your magic. You won’t be able to hurt me, so you won’t have to worry about that.” Nabi suggested.

“You would help me?” San asked hopefully.

“I will, Demon magic came from Dark Elves anyway, so I should be able to teach you how to navigate and make the energy do what you want,” Nabi said.

Nabi leads him from the table, and down a hall and into a large Library, full of books ancient and new. She pulled a few off the shelves, smiling as she handed them to him.

“Here, we will start with these.” She said handing them to him.

He looked at the covers, watching in surprise as the words morphed into his native tongue from whatever language they had been written in.

“All the books here are enchanted, they will translate themselves for the reader,” Nabi explained.

San nodded and he found a comfortable place to curl up and start reading. Although he used to hate reading after studying with his coven he has come to understand and value the usefulness books could offer. He soon learned that the books she gave him were history books about Witches and Demons, as well as a book about channeling energy and increasing energy balances. San was surprised when she walked back in with a plate of food, only because her appearance had changed. Her skin was closer to a grey color, and her hair was tinted purple, her eyes had also changed to a dark brown.

“Light elves lose strength at night, so my dark elf genes become more dominant.” She said knowing he was curious.

“Here eat, then I suggest you go to bed, it has been a long day. Your room is just past the kitchen.” She said.

“Thank you. I will go to bed soon.” He said.

“I will see you when you wake.” She said nodding.

San ate the food, it was good, but he couldn’t help but wonder what the others were eating. Eventually, his eyes started to get heavy and he gathered his books and then went to find his new sleeping quarters. His room was very elegant, with a large bed with unbelievably soft bedding, and a large window with a window seat and intricately carved window sill. There was also a small sitting area around a fireplace. Hidden behind a curved wall was a wash area with a very nice bath that you walked down into. There was a pair of Pajamas on the bed for him, made of a fabric that felt like silk but smoother and softer. When he put them on it almost felt like he was floating somehow. He had put the books on the nightstand and climbed into the bed, falling asleep almost instantly. The two of them fell into a rhythm, Nabi going about her usual routine, and San would sit wherever she was, occasionally starting a conversation or asking questions about what he read. His favorite thing to do was sit under the weeping willow tree on the bench as she drew or wrote in her diary. He lost track of how long it took him to finish the books, but once he had he couldn’t help but feel proud of himself. She had him help her with her chores for a few days, questioning him about his readings, making sure he fully understood them before allowing him to move on. Eventually, after they had eaten their first meal she placed a plant pot in front of him.

“I want you to use a growing spell on it.” She said simply.

San just nodded, and held his hands over the pot, chanting the spell softly, his eyes closed to help him focus. He cracked his eyes open when he felt leaves brushing against his fingertips. When he opened his eyes he was met by a very healthy Mini Prayer Plant. He beamed, he had grown plants with Wooyoung before, but it made him happy every time.

“Very good, now wear this.” She said holding out a bracelet made out of quartz soaked in a potion that she had made earlier.

“What will this do?” San asked.

“It will block any influence from your witch side from being used. Anything you do magic-wise with that on will be 100% Demon magic.” She said.

San’s eyes grew wide and he went to take it off, but Nabi reached out to stop him.

“You can’t hurt me San… it’s okay.” Nabi said.

San took a deep breath but moved his hand away from the bracelet, letting it rest on his wrist.

“Try again.” She said giving him a new pot.

“Nabi… I don’t think that I can grow anything using demon magic…” San said looking at the pot sadly.

“I think you can, you just need to figure out how.” She said softly, nudging the pot towards him encouragingly.

San took a shaky breath and hesitantly reached out to place his hands over the pot as he had done before. He said the same spell, putting less as much energy into it than he had before, this time too anxious to close his eyes. He felt his shoulders slump when he saw the plant start to grow then shrivel up and die before it even bloomed.

“Try again, have more faith.” She said giving him a new one.

He said the spell, putting more energy into it than before, this time however it seemed like he put too much energy into it as he watched the plant fully bloom before starting to wilt, as well as all the other plants in the room. San looked around in horror at the plants, ripping his hands away from the pot almost as if it had burned him. Nabi didn’t flinch, merely muttered a spell under her breath, all the plants except the one he was practicing on coming back to full health.

“Do you want me to show you?” She asked.

San nodded his head, still feeling guilty about her plants. He placed his hands back on the pot, and Nabi placed her hands over his, saying the same spell as him. He felt the magic travel through his hands and into the pot beneath them. He was surprised when the magic felt so similar to his own, maybe a little darker, however, that didn’t stop the plant from blooming into a healthy vibrant plant beneath their hands.

“See it is possible, and you can do it, you just have to trust yourself.” She said.

San nodded, still looking at the plant with a look of wonder. Nabi set the plant next to the one he had successfully grown before. Placing a new pot in front of him, waiting patiently until he felt ready to try again. After a few moments, he took a deep breath and placed his hands over the pot again. Nabi watched as a small plant started growing under his hands. When he stopped the plant wasn’t fully bloomed, but it was alive and would bloom soon. San was beaming, and Nabi was just as happy. Over the next few days, Nabi would have him wear the bracelet whenever they were practicing magic, insisting that he help with her garden as well as maintaining the spells that protected the land. He was proud of the progress he has made he could feel his magic growing and changing in him, and it was a welcome feeling. The magic seemed to fill a hole inside him that he didn’t even know existed. Also, despite him mainly using magic powered by his demon side he felt lighter than he ever had, the most at peace he ever has been. There had been a few times when he had given that side of him too much control, and he still had trouble when Nabi would have him practice at night when the demon side of him was naturally stronger. Luckily Nabi knew what to do, and had been able to safely guide him back to himself, and made sure he properly recovered before allowing him to practice any further. One day San and Nabi were walking through the forest, gathering supplies and just enjoying nature. Suddenly there was a fierce cry from above them followed by the sound of something crashing through the canopy of the forest and hitting the forest floor. He and Nabi rushed towards the sound, and San froze when they broke into a clearing to find a young Griffin laying on the ground, clearly wounded and life fading from its eyes. San had never seen a Griffin up close before, only even hearing of them in stories, having believed they were extinct.

“Oh, you poor thing… what have they done to you?” Nabi asked kneeling next to it, gently petting its head that she had moved onto her lap.

It was obvious that it had been shot, although San wasn’t sure by what type of gun. What was clear was that if it wasn’t healed the wound would kill it. He carefully approached, crouching down and trying to get a closer look at the wound.

“You can save it, you know how,” Nabi said looking up at him.

San pulled his hands back like he was scared that touching them would cause it to die faster than it already was. He looked at her with wide eyes, panic swimming in his pupils.

“I know you can, I trust you.” She assured him.

San hesitated for a moment before hovering his shaky hands over the wounds on the creature. He took a breath to steady himself, then muttered the spell, channeling his energy into the wounds. He watched in horror as the Griffin fell still, slumping fully against the round and Nabi’s lap. He pulled his hands away, clutching them to his chest, tears welling up in his eyes. Before he could spiral into his self-loathing, or Nabi could say anything to him, the Griffin shuttered, and drew a large breath, its feathers ruffling. San choked out a sob as the Griffin lifted its head to look around, no longer bleeding. The sound of his cries drew the attention of the griffin to him, and Nabi nudged the animal towards the young man. The Griffin pulled itself up and walked towards San, bumping his head against San’s and then sitting down in front of him. With both of them sitting, they were at eye level with each other. San’s cries were cut off as a giggle bubbled past his lips, and his hands came up to pet the feathers on its head.

“Come on, we should head back now,” Nabi said standing up and brushing herself off.

San nodded and stood up, brushing the dirt off his clothes. As they began walking they were joined by a new set of footsteps, and Nabi glanced back to see the young griffin following them.

“I think you have a follower,” Nabi said to San, smiling.

The Griffin followed them back to her house but didn’t follow them inside, instead, it curled up by the front door. Nabi made them all something to eat, then sent San to bed. She went and sat outside by the pond, listening to the sounds of the forest at night. She felt a breeze against her face and she knew that the forest would allow San to return home come sunrise. Soon she heard shuffling beside her and she glanced over to see the Griffin sitting down next to her.

“You can’t follow him, it’s too dangerous. You can wait here for him if you like, I am sure he will be back soon.” Nabi said lifting a hand to scratch down the creature's back.

The Griffin let out a few chirps, ruffling its feathers before lying down and resting its head on her lap.

“Yeah, I will miss him too. It was nice to have company, but he is done what he needed to do here. He has a family to return to. He will come back when it’s time for him too.” Nabi said.

She didn’t sleep that night, letting herself take in the energy of the night. She watched as the sun rose, and as it did her eyes fell on a path through the woods that wasn’t there when the sun had set. It wasn’t much longer until San was joining her, sitting down on the other side of the Griffin.

“There is a new path in the woods.” She said looking down and watching as the Griffin shifted to lean against San.

“Oh…” San said looking up and noticing that she was right, “I guess my time here is done…” He said a hint of sadness soaking into his words.

“For now, although the forest will lead you back here if you need it too, it has become a part of you as well,” Nabi said.

“What if I try to come back without needing to?” San asked.

“You won’t,” Nabi stated.

After they ate San gathered his things, and Nabi gave him some food to take with him. San took one last look at the clearing where he had found himself more at home with himself than ever before, then turned and walked into the forest back to his family. He could hear Feather, the name he had given the Griffin in his head, following him for a while before the extra footsteps faded away. Not too long after Feather left him he could see the edge of the forest. He couldn’t help but look behind him tempted to go back, only to find that the path he had been walking on was hidden from him.

Chapter Text

“San!” Wooyoung cried.

The young witch burst out of the house after his fleeing friend, desperate to keep him from leaving. However, San had gotten too much of a head start, and as the sun began to set he disappeared into the forest. Wooyoung watched in horror as the shadows and foliage of the forest floor swallowed his figure from sight. He fell to his knees on the edge of the forest, not daring to follow after him, the cool night air drying the tears on his face. He heard someone else running towards him and looked behind him to see Yeosang approaching, panic clear on his face.

“Wooyoung… where is San?” He asked hoping that the answer would be different than what he was thinking.

Wooyoung just lifted his arm and pointed into the forest, already having lost track of where exactly San had entered.

“I…I couldn’t catch up with him in time to stop him.” Wooyoung said trying to keep his voice lever, but it shook anyway.

Yeosang took a shaky breath, obviously not getting the answer he was hoping for.

“It’s cold, we should get inside and tell the others, maybe Seunghwa or Hongjoong will be able to find him,” Yeosang said trying to soothe his friend.

“Why would they? They are the reason he left to begin with.” Wooyoung asked bitterly.

“Come on, no one thought he would leave like that,” Yeosang said still trying to calm him down.

“Are you sure? Because it seems like the only people in this coven who want San around is you and I. Honestly, I wouldn’t be surprised if they celebrated the fact that San probably just ran to his death.” Wooyoung bit back.

“Hey, don’t say that. You know that everyone in the Coven cares about San. We all care for each other. However, Hongjoong also has the responsibility of keeping us safe, both from outsiders and ourselves.” Yeosang said sternly.

“Whatever, I will come in, but I am not speaking to any of them,” Wooyoung said defiantly.

~~~~~

Hongjoong knew that the coven existed in a very tense balance, always at the brink of breaking apart like a dam with too much pressure behind it. He knew that when he allowed San, the newest member, to join that it added to the pressure. However, he also knew that he was selfish and needed all of them in his life, that he loved each of them too much to let them go. All that was needed was to keep a balance, to keep the pressure from growing too much. He knew it wasn’t fair to any of them for him to keep them from fully exploring their magic, to keep them from discovering every part of themselves. He also knew that if they did then they would draw too much attention, and the last thing they needed was for the town to find out what they were and start a witch hunt. At least that’s what he told himself, but deep down he knew that he was scared, because if any of them did something that broke the oath of the coven, they would have to leave. Or even worse, they could decide to leave on their own, deciding that they needed something more, something better than what he could offer them. So when he watched San storm away the door slamming behind him, leaving Hongjoong breathing heavily from all the shouting, he swears he could hear the sound of the dam cracking. He felt a sick feeling settle in his stomach, and as Wooyoung ran after him followed by Yeosang a few moments later he couldn’t keep himself standing upright. He wasn’t sure who it was who grabbed his arm, keeping him from falling full force to the ground, but based on the size it was probably Mingi.
“Why did I yell?” That was all Hongjoong was able to ask as he stayed kneeling on the ground.

The cold air of the spring night bit at his nose as it made its way in from the open door, and he couldn’t tear his eyes away from the entrance regret making a home in his chest.

“Hey, it’s okay. Wooyoung and Yeosang will bring him back, everyone just needs to calm down and then talk this out.” Yunho said kneeling in front of him, blocking his view of the door.

“I told him he was born evil, I don’t know if there is a way to come back from that.” Hongjoong choked out, feeling sick as he repeated the words he had thrown in Sans's face.

“Yeah, not your best moment…” Jongho muttered.

“Not the time Jongho,” Seunghwa stated flatly kneeling next to their coven leader on the floor.

“This is San we are talking about, I am sure if you just apologize and talk with him he will forgive you. Both of you were saying some pretty nasty things.” Seunghwa comforted him gently rubbing his back.

A few moments later Wooyoung and Yeosang walked back into the house. Hongjoong scrambled to stand up, an apology already on the tip of his tongue.

“San-” He started to say fresh tears gathering in his eyes, however, the words died in his mouth and confusion replaced the desperation as he noticed that San was not with them.

“Where is San?” He asked panic creeping up his spine.

Wooyoung just glared at him scoffing, “Why do you care? Shouldn’t you be glad that something so evil is gone?” He snapped at Hongjoong before storming upstairs to his room.

“Gone?” Hongjoong echoed, almost like he had never heard the word before.

“He went into the forest.” Was the only answer Yeosang provided before walking down the hallways to his room.

~~~~

Hongjoong panted as he slumped forward against one of the trees. He has been searching since sunrise for any sign of San in the woods, a scent, a footprint, torn clothing, anything. Much to his frustration he has found nothing, even when he had allowed himself to shift into his wolf form, he had come up empty-handed. It was almost like the forest had erased any trace of San existing at all, and it made Hongjoong want to scream. Wooyoung hadn’t looked at him, and the only thing he said was that he couldn’t sense San in the woods. Wooyoung refused to look or speak to him, and he didn’t blame him he wishes he could do the same to himself. Yeosang had given him a nod of acknowledgment and told him to be out of the forest before sunset. Hongjoong took note of the darkening sky and shouted as he punched the tree, breaking the skin of his hand open, as tears spilled down his cheeks again. He didn’t say a word as he walked into the house. Yunho and Seunghwa looked up at him hopefully, but one look at the coven leader told them all they needed to know. Seunghwa stood up and put his hand on Hongjoong’s shoulder, reaching down to take his bleeding hand in his own.

“Come on, let's get you cleaned up.” He said gently.

Hongjoong just scuffed and yanked his hand away.

“Just leave it, bleeding is the least of my concerns. Did anyone here have any luck?” Hongjoon asked flatly.

“... No, Mingi said he couldn’t even sense him anymore…” Yunho said breaking the silence that fell over the room after Hongjoong asked the question.

“So, he is dead then…” Hongjoong said, eyes hollow voice void of any emotion.

“And it’s your fault.” Came a fierce voice from the top of the stairs.

The three of them looked up to see Wooyoung standing at the top of the stairs, tears streaming down his face, and eyes filled with so much hate and disdain that they seemed to suck the air out of the room.

“Wooyoung-” Seunghwa went to scold but Hongjoong just shook his head.

“He is right.” He muttered, voice dripping with self-hatred.

“You don’t have the right to feel sorry for yourself.” Wooyoung spat before disappearing, the sound of his door slamming echoing through the house.

Just like that, the dam broke.

~~~~~

The next morning Mingi went into Wooyoung’s room to find it a mess, and most of his belongings missing, the Fae nowhere to be seen.

“He left last night around 3 in the morning,” Yeosang said from his doorway right across the hall.

“You didn’t try to stop him?” Mingi asked.

“Who am I to make him stay where he doesn’t want to be?” Yeosang asked.

“Did he at least say where he went?” Mingi asked.

“He said something about going to the city, that’s all I know,” Yeosang said shrugging and going back into his room.

“What’s wrong?” Jongho asked walking out of the bathroom to find Mingi zoning out, a frown on his face.

“Wooyoung left,” Mingi said.

“Can’t say I am surprised…” Jongho said softly.

“We are supposed to be a coven, a family…” Mingi said.

“Not all families are meant to stay together,” Jongho said.

“I thought ours was,” Mingi said sadly walking past him.

Jongho watched him walk away, going downstairs probably to inform Hongjoong of the missing Coven member.

“I hoped so too.” He muttered sadly.

If Hongjoong was shocked or saddened by the news of Wooyoung leaving he didn’t show it. All he did was nod and go back to staring out the window, watching the forest line. It wasn’t until dinner time that he seemed to tune back in with what was happening. Yeosang came down the stairs, two bags with him.

“Where are you going?” Yunho asked.

“Wooyoung joined to make sure I was safe, it’s only fair I go with him this time to keep an eye on him,” Yeosang stated.

“You’re leaving?” Seunghwa asked.

“I am. I will write you all when I find him, I will keep us both safe.” Yeosang said.

“Tell him I am sorry.” Was all Hongjoong could choke out before he disappeared into his room again.

~~~~~

It was a couple of weeks later that a letter appeared through their mail slot, fluttering softly to the ground. It was Jongho who found it and opened it upon recognizing Yeosang’s handwriting on the envelope.

I found him, we are both safe. We managed to find a little place in the city to live. Wooyoung made it clear that he doesn’t wish to return, but just give him some time, I am sure he will change his mind. I will stay here with him until then, please keep me updated and reach out if you guys need anything.

Jongho was glad to hear that they were both safe, but quite sad to find out that they wouldn’t be returning any time soon. He went to give the letter to Hongjoong, who has barely left his room since Yeosang left. He knocked on the door and when he didn’t get an answer he cracked the door open, to find Hongjoong laying in his bed empty eyes staring at nothing.

“Yeosang wrote to us, he found Wooyoung.” He said to the elder setting the letter on the table by his head.

“Please read it.” Jongho pleaded, reaching out to place a hand on Hongjoong’s arm, but the man moved just out of reach.

“Don’t… just… leave me alone….” Hongjoong muttered voice void of life.

Jongho didn’t say anything, just let out a small sigh nodding and retreating from the room.

~~~~~

Yunho was the next to leave, a few months after Yeosang. The tensions in the country were growing as more and more hate for magic spread, and witches and other beings were being harmed. He decided that Yeosang and Wooyoung could use some help. There was always safety in numbers after all. Plus being half-human made it more likely that anyone associated with him, as well as himself, would be seen in a more favorable light if they were ever found out. He had asked Hongjoong, who had agreed that he should go. It had taken a while but Hongjoong had finally started leaving his room and eating again, although he was a fraction of who he used to be. Jongho helped Yunho pack and wished him safe travels, Mingi hugged him goodbye, and Seunghwa gave him enough food to last the trip and more. Now it was just Mingi, Jungho, Seunghwa, and Hongjoong in the house. Hongjoong still spent most of his time in his room, reading as many books as he can. Seunghwa made sure the house was kept clean, even straightening up the now-empty rooms in case they came home. Mingi tried to hide how much he missed the others, but Jongho had seen the map he had enchanted to show the location of all the members. He even caught him asking the map a few times about San. Jongho found it hard to stay in the house, deciding that the lake across the meadow and down the hill was a much nicer place to spend his time. It was there he felt the most at peace, some of the weight that had settled over his heart lifting. It wasn’t until the first anniversary of San going missing that he saw the others again. They had gotten a letter a few days before they arrived announcing that they would be visiting, upon the request of Wooyoung. However, they made it clear that they would not be staying. When they got there Yunho and Yeosang greeted everyone, but Wooyoung refused to enter the house or look at Hongjoong. He greeted Seunghwa, Jongho, and Mingi however, asking how they had been. He didn’t enter the house as he said, instead, he took the bag he brought with him and went to the tree line. He took out the candles and incense he had brought, setting up a little shrine and asking the gods above to return San to them. He stayed out there all day and night, praying and begging for his friend to return, or at least give him a sign that he was safe wherever he was. He had fallen asleep on the ground in front of the candles, and when he opened his eyes he got choked up when he saw that there the incense he had been burning was a single Iris flower. He gasped and sat up, choking on a sob as he gently reached out and brushed his fingers along the soft petals. He got an answer, one that gave him what he needed most, hope.

This went on for another two years. Wooyoung, Yunho, and Yeosang lived in the city, only visiting on the anniversary of San’s disappearance. None of them would call it the anniversary of his death, although that’s what they all believed to be true, saying it out loud was too much for any of them to handle. Wooyoung’s cold shoulder towards Hongjoong continued until the third anniversary when he greeted Hongjoong with a small smile and a nod. Hongjoong looked shocked, but quickly returned the greeting, forcing himself not to cry. All of them went inside and ate a meal and talked before Wooyoung once again gathered his things and went to do his ritual.

“Is it… can I join you?” Hongjoong asked quietly, standing a few steps away from Wooyoung in the front garden, almost like he was scared that Wooyoung would yell at him.

Which in Hongjoong’s defense was still highly possible, and for a second Wooyoung considered telling him to go back inside. However when he looked at the coven leader, and saw how much he had changed, he felt a weight settle over his heart. The once fierce and lively eyes and mischievous smile were none, leaving a seemingly permanent frown and tired eyes.

“Yeah… I think that would be nice.” Wooyoung said giving him a small smile.

Hongjoong gave him a small smile, nodding his head and following Wooyoung to the edge of the forest, helping him set up the candles and incense, making sure that each one was fully lit before blowing out the match. The two of them kneeled next to each other and bowed to the ground, praying for their missing Coven member. As the sun was starting to set Hongjoong couldn’t help but realize how quiet it had become, almost like the world around them was holding their breath. Hongjoong lifted his head for just a moment, looking for any signs of danger. Instead, he gasped, as San’s familiar figure immerged from the darkness of the tree line.

“San?” He choked out, tears already dripping off his chin.

Upon the words falling past his lips, Wooyoung shot up, looking around frantically until his eyes settled on his friend standing a few yards away. Without another thought Wooyoung took off towards San, not caring if the foliage caught and tore at his clothes, or that he had twisted his ankle by getting up so quickly. He clung to San, hugging him so tight that part of him was worried about hurting the other, but the rest of him was too focused on making sure he could breathe past the sobs escaping his lips.

“You came back, you are okay.” He chanted between sobs and shaking breaths.

“San…” The broken voice of Hongjoong met their ears and Wooyoung pulled away just enough to see Hongjoong fall to his knees a few feet away, eyes wide and looking like he had seen a ghost, although to be fair it wasn’t far from what was happening.

“Wooyoung, Hongjoong? What’s wrong? I know I ran away for a little bit, but you guys are acting like you saw me die…” San said confused and very concerned about his coven mates who were currently still crying.

“A little bit? You call three years a little bit?” Wooyoung asked accusingly.

“Three years?” San exclaimed, Wooyoung’s words feeling like someone had thrown him into cold water.

Chapter Text

No one spoke as they sat around the table, the only sound was the occasional sniff from someone recovering from crying.

“Where have you been?” Jongho asked quietly breaking the silence.

“I… It’s a little fuzzy too be honest…” San said trying his best to remember the details of his time in the forest, but unable to.

“What do you remember?” Yeosang asked.

“I ran into the forest, I fell asleep under a tree. Someone found me.” San answered.

“Who found you? They didn’t hurt you did they?” Mingi asked tempted to assess San all over again.

“No… they didn’t. I don’t remember who they were, but I know they taught me.” San said, sounding the most sure of what he just said than anything else.

“Taught you?” Hongjoong asked.

“I don’t know how, but I can tell that my magic is more balanced than ever. I don’t remember how, but I am sure that it’s because of them.” San said.

“He is right, when I assessed him I could tell that his magic had evolved,” Mingi said.

“So you spent three years in the forest, evolving your magic with someone you can’t even remember?” Yunho asked.

“I promise, I didn’t know I was gone for so long. To me, it was barely more than a couple weeks.” San defended.

The room fell silent again, everyone processing what San had told them.

“So… how have things been around here?” San asked.

The tension in the room noticeably got thinker, the air feeling like it took more energy to draw into their lungs.

“Not great…” Seunghwa said.

“Wooyoung, Yunho, and Yeosang have been staying in the city,” Hongjoong said clearing his throat and deciding to not beat around the bush.

Since San had gone missing, they had fallen apart, individually and as a coven. It was obvious, so there was no point in trying to hide it from San. Especially if he wanted to work towards putting things back together.

“Oh… I thought that wasn’t good for you?” San said looking at Wooyoung.

“I make it work…” Wooyoung muttered.

Yeosang let his eyes linger on the Fae. He had in fact not been ‘making it work’, both he and Yunho have been watching the light fade from his eyes, and his cheeks become hollow. His spirit was dying being so far from nature, the source of Fae magic, and something that Wooyoung needs to stay alive. None of the three would address it, although it was clear that Wooyoung went there not only to punish Hongjoong for what he did to San but to punish himself as well. Yunho had woken up many times to hear Wooyoung crying out San’s name in his sleep. Yeosang had found a stack of letters that the Fae had written addressed to San, begging him to either return to them or expressing his desire for his own spirit to just give up so he could join him where ever San was in the afterlife.

~~~~~

San went to his room, surprised to see that in the three years, he had apparently been gone, it was spotless.

“Seunghwa cleans it at least twice a week…” Jongho said from where he was standing in the doorway behind him, causing him to jump.

“Sorry…” Jongho said giving him a small smile, that looked much sadder than he probably meant it to.

San sat on the edge of the bed, looking around the room that felt both familiar and foreign to him, giving him a weird sense of unease. He thought about Seunghwa coming in here to clean, thinking that he was dead but still wanting him to have a clean room to return to. He took a shaky breath in, forcing air past the lump in his throat.

“How have you been?” He asked hoping that the youngest member of their coven hadn’t been torn apart since it seems like everyone else had.

Jongho avoided eye contact and just shrugged, biting his lip, something he only did when he was stressed.

“I have sort of been avoiding the house. It was just… a lot.” Jongho admitted.

“I am sorry…” San whispered, guilt washing over him.

“I don’t think it is you that should be apologizing, at least not to me,” Jongho said giving him another small smile, this one slightly less sad but still nowhere near happy, then walked down the hallway.

San sat on his bed, scanning over the room again, not able to shake the feeling of something being different, but unable to place what it was. He stood up and walked over to the mirror that was next to his closet, looking at himself, taking in every small detail. He felt different, but just like what was different about his room he couldn’t place what had changed. As he looked in the mirror he noticed something sitting on his window sill that wasn’t there last time he remembered. He turned around and walked towards it, looking down at it with curiosity. It was a prayer plant, in a little pot with a band of quarts wrapping around it. He reached out to brush his fingertips across the leaves but stopped just before he made contact.

“San?” A voice asked, drawing his attention away from the plant and towards Mingi.

“Yeah?” San asked.

“Do you regret going into the woods?” The Angel asked.

San didn’t know how to answer, dropping his eyes to the floor and wrapping his arms around himself.

“I… I don’t know. Although I don’t remember exactly what happened while I was there, I have never felt more at home with myself. However, seeing that happened while I was gone…” He said trailing off.

“Is it okay if I hug you?” Mingi asked looking very uncertain of himself.

“Of course,” San said smiling and opening his arms.

It took him less than two seconds to crash into San, wrapping him in his arms. San hugged him tighter as a warmth seemed to wrap around them and the world around them seemed to melt away. San opened his eyes, taking in the sight that was around him. Mingi’s wings were wrapped around them, the curtain of light resembling a shifting stained glass window, causing the light that filtered through them to paint every surface with soft rainbows. It was something that he found absolutely breathtaking about the other. He remembers the first time he had seen his wings, having expected them to be the classic white feathered ones. However, instead, he was met with what seemed to be two curtains of shifting colors that looked closer to a cape than wings when relaxed, at least until he stretched them out and they took on a shape reminiscent of a wing. To this day he had yet to see anything quite as beautiful, although Mingi didn’t show them often. At first, he didn’t understand why, but when he started being able to show some of his demon traits he understood. Not only did it make him even more different than anyone else, it was also overwhelming. He remembers the first time his true eyes had shown, and he felt like he was on the verge of losing his sense of self to the amount of energy that crawled across his skin.

“It isn’t your fault,” Mingi said breaking San out of his thoughts.

“Huh?” San asked.

“Them leaving, everything that happened after you disappeared. None of it is your fault. We had been ignoring the cracks in the foundations of this house for so long, it was only a matter of time till it could withstand the weight of it all.” Mingi said.

~~~~~

That night San couldn’t sleep, the thoughts in his head whispering to each other in his ears, or maybe they were the ghosts of what could have been if he hadn’t gone missing. He got out of bed and crept down to the kitchen, hoping some water will help. As he was drinking he heard soft walking above him, which was strange because there weren’t any rooms above the kitchen. He put his glass down and walked outside. Although it was dark the moon offered enough light to let him see, and he spotted the ladder leaning against the side of the house. He climbed up the rungs, barely peaking his head over the edge to see what was going on. He found Yunho perched on the roof, an open notebook on his lap. He kept glancing up at the sky, then writing in his notebook again.

“Yunho?” He asked softly to not scare the other man, and cause him to lose his footing and tumble to the ground.

Yunho looked up, eyes searching, until they landed on the bit of San’s head that was visible.

“Want to join me?” Yunho asked.

San nodded and climbed the rest of the way up, slowly making his way over so he was sitting next to the taller male.

“What are you doing?” San asked.

“Looking at the stars, you can’t really see them in the city,” Yunho said.

“But you love the stars, why are you living where you can’t see them?” San asked confused.

“Because the stars in the sky are nothing compared to the ones that walk the Earth,” Yunho said smiling sadly.

San didn’t know what to say back, so he just tilted his head back, looking at the sky that was painted with stars and planets that he would never touch.

“You know,” Yunho said breaking the silence after a few minutes, “I knew you were still alive,” Yunho said.

“How did you know that?” San asked.

“The night after you left, there weren’t any new stars, and definitely none bright enough to be you,” Yunho said.

“I doubt I would become a star,” San said thankful that the pale light of the moon wasn’t enough to see the blush that warmed his face.

“Maybe not, you might become a whole planet. All I know is that there is no way the universe wouldn’t want a soul as bright and kind as yours to find a home among the sky somewhere.” Yunho said giving him a genuine smile and making eye contact with San.

“All I know is that I am glad that I don’t know what you will become when you move on because that means that there was still a way for you to come back to us,” Yunho said, looking away from San’s eyes to look back up at the sky.

~~~~~

Jongho grabbed the coat off the hook by the back door, it still being early enough in the morning that it was needed. He pulled it on before he quietly ducked out of the back door and started his walk to the lake. It had become a safe haven for him in the past years, providing him a place where he could act like nothing was wrong like his life hadn’t been shattered on the floor. He walked down the small dock, sitting down on the end, looking out over the mirror-like surface of the water. The first year after San disappeared he had wished he could have disappeared under the surface, letting his body rest under the serene reflection. However, being part Mer, he could never get the peace he wished for, at least by any means that required water. He had long stopped feeling scared of the feeling that settled into his bones, instead accepting it like a hug of an old friend.

“It’s kinda cold to be out here this early isn’t it?” A woman’s voice called out.

Jongho was startled, and looked behind him, spotting a woman standing where the dock met the shore.

“I guess I am just used to it,” Jongho called back.

“Well, I should hope so, mind if I join you?” She asked.

Jongho shook his head and shifted over a little so there was more space for her to sit down.

“Do you come here often?” She asked him.

“Yeah, sorta…” He said.

“Hmmm… funny we haven’t run into each other, I come here a lot as well, although, I guess it might have been a while since I was here last…” She said although the last part was more so to herself.

“Didn’t you say it was cold?” He asked pointing out the fact that she didn’t have anything on except a pair of pants and a silk blouse.

“It will get warmer once the sun is higher in the sky.” She said.

“What about until then? Aren’t you cold?” He asked.

“I suppose, although sometimes you need to suffer the cold a little so you can enjoy the warmth that comes later without being weighed down by the things that protected you from the cold.” She said shrugging.

Jongho observed the woman out of the corner of his eye. She wasn’t paying him much mind, leaning back on her hands, with her eyes closed as the breeze gently blew her platinum blond hair. Her lips quirked into a smile, almost like the wind had whispered a joke into her ear. Before he could look away she opened her eyes and made eye contact with him. Her eyes were light hazel, but what stood out the most were the specks of gold.

“I hope you are able to put your jacket away before it gets too warm out that it becomes a burden.” She said standing up and stretching.

“Wait, my name is Jongho, what’s yours?” He asked, feeling a pull towards her that he can’t quite put into words yet.

“Nabi.” She said smiling and holding out her hand.

Chapter Text

Seunghwa couldn’t stand being in the house for a moment longer, the restlessness vibrating through his body making it impossible to stand still. Usually, he would have used the pent-up energy to clean the house, but he has already done a deep clean twice since San had gotten back last week. There were so many emotions and tensions in the house that you could practically feel it, almost like static energy before a lightning strike. Currently, he was pacing his room. Technically it was the basement, but when they moved in they turned it into a bedroom for him. It was the only room large enough to keep his collection. Technically since he was half dragon born it would be called a hoard, but he didn’t like the word. Maybe that would help, he hadn’t added anything to his collection since San disappeared. To be honest he hadn’t left the house since the night San went into the woods. He had poured all his energy into keeping what was left of the family he had together, and the house standing.

He got dressed a little nicer and grabbed one of the woven baskets that they had. He took a deep breath as he walked, taking in the smell of the grass that was still wet from the morning dew and the flowers that were starting to bloom. It was Saturday, which meant that the town market would be open today. As he approached the lines of stalls and tents he felt a familiar itch in his fingers, his instincts that he had repressed and ignored for years coming back full force, demanding that he find something to bring home and add to his shelves and chests. He wandered from stall to stall, nothing catching his eye. After a while he felt a bit hopeless, but desperate to find something that would soothe some of the anxiety building under his skin. He got to the end of another row and was about to wander to another when a woman sitting on a blanket surrounded by different trinkets caught his eye. He walked over, crouching down to look at what she had displayed.

“Hello.” She greeted him warmly.

“Hello, quite the collection you have,” Seunghwa replied, eyes sparkling a little as he continued to scan the blanket.

“Thank you, I try to find things that are interesting.” She stated smiling.

“You have done quite a good job,” Seunghwa said eyes lingering on a set of beautifully made animal figurines.

The set had a total of eight pieces, each one only about two and a half inches tall, and hand-painted. He could tell just by looking at them that they were high quality. He picked up the cat figurine, and instantly something clicked for him, and some of the tension that had been building all week eased. He gave her the money and carefully set the figurines in his basket.

“It was nice to meet you, my name is Nabi.” She said smiling.

“Seunghwa.” He answered before moving on seeing what else he could find.

When he got home he happily put the food he got in the kitchen, then hurried to his room with the rest of his items, excited to officially add them to his collection. He carefully made space for the figurines on one of his shelves. Once he was satisfied with the spot he carefully arranged them, making sure that you could easily see all of them. He wasn’t sure why they had called stood out so strongly to him, but he knew he couldn’t leave them there. The little Squirrel, Bunny, Golden Retriever, Doberman, Cat, Wolf, Fox, and Bear reminded him of the others and he wasn’t sure why. He also added a new very soft knitted blanket to one of the chests he had, as well as a few books to a shelf. Once everything was put away, he felt more at ease.

~~~~~

Nabi walked down the trail that seemed to be creating itself as she walked, she had her collection of things that she didn’t sell, as well as new things she bought with the money she made. She had gotten a new hair stick that now held up half her hair, keeping it from falling in her face. The sun was starting to set, and she could feel the source of her magic shifting with the change. She heard a cry from above her and looked up to see Feather perched on a high-up branch watching her. She let out a huff as it jumped down at her, slightly easing the impact by spreading its wings. Luckily she had predicted that Feather would do this since it has become a common occurrence whenever they crossed each other in the woods. The first time it happened she had stumbled and nearly fell over. Feather had grown considerably, now about the size of a black lab. When San and her had found them they had only been the size of a beagle. She huffed out a laugh and reached around the scratch their head. Once they entered the clearing for her house Feather leaped off her back and ran towards the door. They spun around in circles at the door, hopping from foot to foot and chirping.

“He still isn’t here,” Nabi said knowing why Feather was so excited.

At her statement Feather calmed down, now sitting at the door and fulfilling its feathers.

“Don’t look at me like that, you know I can’t force him to come back. You will know when it is time for him to return.” Nabi said patting its head before walking into her house. She set her things down on her table, she pulled out the new plant pot she got. It wasn’t anything super fancy, just a little pot with a band of quarts wrapping around it. She carefully moved the plant that San had grown and moved it to the more appropriately sized pot, then walked to the room he stayed in and placed it on the window sill. The house felt empty without him around, but she embraced the feeling of loneliness knowing that it wouldn’t last forever. She smiled at the sight of Feather chasing the shadow of a cloud across the clearing. Of course, San wasn’t completely gone, he had left part of him with Feather as well.

~~~~

Yeosang had been sleeping even less than usual these days. He was glad to be back in the Coven home, feeling like a piece of his soul had shifted back into place being there. However, the nightmares caused by the things he had done both before meeting his coven and while in the city with Wooyoung to survive made the idea of closing his eyes less than appealing. Unfortunately, he couldn’t stay awake forever, despite being half Vampire, he still needed at least a few hours of sleep to function to the best of his abilities.

He woke with a start, shooting into an almost upright position in his bed, hands shaking and breaths shallow. He could still hear the gargled cries of dream Jongho as Yeosang drained the life from him, unable to control himself. If he blinked for too long he could still feel the youngest's body losing strength and going cold in his hands. He threw the covers off of him and stumbled out of his room determined to get outside for some fresh air.

He was glad that he didn’t run into any of the others as he left. He loved his coven brothers dearly but he hated to let them see him break like this. Especially if it had been Wooyoung because he knows the younger would blame himself for what happened in the city. While he lived here on the outskirts of their small town he could survive off the blood of animals, however, in the city, he didn’t have that choice. He never killed an innocent person, always sneaking into jails or going for people who were known to be bad, but it was still a human life he took, and that ate away at him.

~~~~

Hongjoong sat on his bed and let his eyes scan over the dozens of books and scrolls he had spent the last three years reading over and over. He let his eyes linger on the open spell book the one he swore he would only use as a last resort, and had opened about a month ago. It was one that he would get exiled if word of him using it got back up to the grand coven that he had even thought about using one of the spells. He had to go through some shady contacts and friends of contacts to get his hands on it. He had also had to cough up quite a bit of money, as well as do some less than favorable favors to pay for it. He broke every single rule and moral he had set for himself and the coven just for a chance of getting San back to them safely. Now that San was back safely without him having to use a forbidden spell of any kind he was left to reflect on the things that had led him to that point to begin with. He knew it was his fault, it had been his fault that San had run away to begin with. The fact that he still hadn’t apologized for the events of that night was also not lost to him. He just couldn’t figure out how he was supposed to act like the leader of the coven anymore after it had been his fault it fell apart, to begin with. That fact was only more apparent when he had not only put his life on the line but the rest of theirs as well by association.

~~~~

Hongjoong paced the room as he waited for the others to come out of their rooms. He had called for a coven meeting, San has been back for a while now, but it was clear that the bonds between the coven members were still severely damaged, which he supposes is normal all things considered. Soon all eight of them were gathered, and the tension in the room was almost tangible, seeming to tingle in the spaces between them. Hongjoong took a deep breath before looking up and making eye contact with each of them.

“I know that a lot has changed here, and I know that most of that is my fault,” Hongjoong said, voice steady, and leaving no room for the argument that most of them wanted to make.

“San, I owe you an apology for that night. I had no right to say any of the things I did, and your anger and frustration toward me are fully justified. Wooyoung, I owe you an apology as well. It is obvious to me now that the way I have been acting as coven leader made you weren’t welcome here. I am sorry to all of you, a good coven leader would have been able to get through the past few years without everything falling apart.” Hongjoong said, forcing himself to keep himself together until he could get back to his room alone to break down.

“...Hongjoong?” Yunho asked, being able to tell that Hongjoong was doing more than just apologizing.

“So, if you guys want. I will step down as Coven leader, and you guys can pick a new one.” Hongjoong said finally getting to the main reason he had called a coven meeting instead of simply apologizing to San and Wooyougn one on one.

“What?” A few of them exclaimed, Mingi and Yunho jumping to their feet in surprise.

“Are you serious?” Wooyoung seethed, glaring at Hongjoong.

“Woo-” Hongjoong started to say until Wooyoung stood up and cut him off.

“No, no. You don’t get to just let everything fall apart then pawn it off to someone else to fix! You fucked it up now you fucking fix it. So don’t just apologize then run away like a coward.” Wooyoung demanded holding eye contact with Hongjoong.

“I just didn’t think that you would want me as a leader anymore…” Hongjoong said not expecting Wooyoung’s outburst.

“I joined YOUR coven because I wanted to be led by YOU. If I wanted a different coven leader then I would have officially left this one. So don’t go making assumptions about what we do and don’t want.” Wooyoung stated crossing his arms.

“He is right, you are the only one I can imagine leading this coven…” Yeosang said.

“But the things I have done these past years…” Hongjoong said avoiding eye contact.

“We all know that no matter what you did it was to try to get us all back together, so don’t act like you did it for selfish reasons,” Seunghwa said.

All of the others made noises of agreement, and Hongjoong felt tears building up in his eyes before he could blink them away.

“Yeah…okay… but it is clear that we still have a lot to talk about and figure out…” Hongjoong said.

“We can figure that out later, as long as you are the one leading us, we can do anything right?” San said, hope and determination clear in his eyes.