Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

“We will all debut together. That’s the most important part. We will all survive,” Hanbin said, in their practice room. The others nodded. 

That was six months ago.

-

Amongst the sea of flashing lightsticks, the colourful confetti floats across the stage and the bustling crowd continues to cheer endlessly for names that have not been called out, everything seemed to move in slow motion for Hanbin. 

He soaks in this scene like this is his last time ever. He doesn’t regret it at all. Everything he has done in life has led to this moment but he knows it will come to end soon.

Hanbin looks over to the crowd first, then to the winners' seats where Taerae and the others are standing in a line waiting for the final winner announcement. Finally, Yujin’s name is called and the crowd roars in excitement. 

Hanbin watches as the contestants go over to hug Yujin and congratulate him. 

He puts on a smile that is laced with bittersweetness. He knows how close he was to becoming a top 9, it being the closest he had ever been but it wasn’t enough. Hanbin feels like this is the end. 

From where he stood, he could feel Taerae’s gaze on him. His head quickly snaps towards him and they make eye contact. He notices that the other winners are in small groups of two or three but Taerae is standing by himself, not having anyone to hold onto.

I’m sorry, Taerae-ah. I broke my promise. I should have been there with you…

Taerae tilts his head to the side and flashes a sad smile in return as if he knows what Hanbin is thinking through his expression. Immediately, Hanbin breaks into a sob that he was holding back earlier and he covers his mouth to hide it from the fans who were right in front of him with their cameras out. He knows this will be documented, that this moment is the most he has ever cried in public.

I should be the one to hug you, to hold you close, to congratulate us together.

Hanbin knows that this was their last stage and it may take many more years until they can stand on the same stage again. He knows that this was inevitable from the moment they had seen their interim rankings, that he and Taerae would be competing for a spot at the finishing line. However, he also knows that no matter what happens, they will be happy for one another because their bond is stronger than anything else in the world.

Keita wraps an arm around Hanbin as he continues to cry and the rest of the eliminated contestants slowly come into a huddle that surrounds Hanbin. He feels so loved and he appreciates their steady comfort. This moment will be something he will cherish in his heart. 

He looks up again to find his best friend, almost yearning. He sees Taerae’s mouth open and he reads his lips as Taerae speaks.

Hanbinnie, don’t cry. You did your best. This isn’t the end.

Chapter Text

It is two weeks after the last episode of Boys Planet. 

Team ZB1 was working hard on their debut song with an even more hectic schedule coming up as the MV is going to be released in the upcoming weeks. Things have not changed that much ever since, besides their schedules not aligning. 

Taerae would be in the practice room usually all day with his new teammates. At times, he would see Hanbin, Minseok, Junghyun, Jeonghyeon and the others in the cafeteria since they all shared the same building. 

Taerae and Hanbin still would go to the convenience store nearby to buy snacks to try out together and share with the others, back at Hanbin’s dorms. It felt right.

It had been almost a full week without seeing Hanbin and he felt lonely at times. He still had not gotten close to his current group yet but he was also very focused on perfecting the choreography to meet their standards, more so than socializing. It was tough, but it was also exhilarating.

It was a while after dinner when Taerae sits on a bench outside of the ZB1 dorms. He does this often because it helps him relax, he gets some fresh air and sometimes he sings for fun. Tonight, he enjoys the snacks Hanbin had bought for him the other day. It cheers him up, just remembering Hanbin picking it out with a bright smile on his face.

“Rae-ah!” he hears. He quickly looks up, still mid-bite into a snack. 

“Bin, what are you doing here?” Taerae quickly swallows down the food.

“Just wanted to see you. Are you doing well?” Hanbin sits down beside him, enough that their sides are touching and he puts his smaller hand over Taerae’s without a second thought. They quickly intertwine their fingers out of habit.

“Yeah, I am. Have you been having fun lately, Hanbinnie?” He offers his half eaten snack which Hanbin takes.

“I’ve been learning so much at my dance academy and it’s really fun. I also took more vocal lessons with Mr. Jeong so I can improve faster. I want to be on the same level as you soon, Rae.”

Taerae watches his lively expressions and takes them in - he soaks it up like it was the last time he’ll ever see Hanbin. He memorizes it so he can imagine Hanbin’s bright face in those 4-hour dance practices when he’s about to give up. 

Taerae breaks out of his trance when slender arms pull him in for a hug. A few seconds pass in silence. Right as Hanbin lets go, Taerae pulls him back in to extend the warm hug, inhaling the smell of his citrusy shampoo. They were similar in height so they were head to head.

“Rae? What’s wrong?” Hanbin suddenly feels jittery, not used to this clingy side of Taerae. 

“Nothing. I just missed you, Bin.” Taerae answers quietly. 

“I missed you too.” Hanbin flashes his fox smile, the one where his eyes shrink into crescents and his mouth pouts up just a little. “Just call me whenever you want to see me, I’m not far away. We’re always gonna have each others’ backs, Rae.”

They talk for another hour and Hanbin leaves to go back to his dorm because it was getting late. Taerae is still sitting on the bench, holding a bag of discarded snack wrappers. He stares at the moon and enjoys the light wind breeze and thinks to himself, I’ll be okay. He enjoys this new life, he appreciates his new teammates and he’s glad he still has all his old friends who he greatly cherishes by his side. Things were different, but they are the same as ever. 

He hears Jiwoong’s voice, “Taerae-ah, we need to be up early tomorrow! Come inside whenever you can.”

“Coming, Hyung!” A few minutes later, he is tucked in his bed, staring at the Melon app on his phone, ready to put on a sleep playlist when he gets a notification in the ZB1 group chat.

SUNG HANBIN: Hey guys, the choreographer called in sick so we’ll be having a joint practice session with the Wakeone trainees! Giving you guys a heads-up. Have a good rest, team!

Taerae smiles to himself, replying a short ‘night’ quickly. He thinks to himself, Tomorrow will be a good day. It’ll be just like the old days.